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#everyone is Mildly Terrified
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Kate Bishop would have SUCH weird relationships with Gotham's rogues.
She hates the Joker. And it's not for the reasons the Joker wants.
Kate is not afraid of him. To be clear, she should be, and many people would like her to stop antagonizing him because if he Joker toxins her they're FUCKED.
Kate hates the Joker because he's bad at being a clown. Kate is insulted on Clint's behalf and the behalf of carnies everywhere.
She doesn't think he's particularly original. He's like if 4chan was a person. He just wants to see the world burn? Great! Kate is Good at Arson so she'll set some of his shit on fire. He wants to set up puzzles so you can almost solve his plot? OK well so does the Riddler and his stuff is way more clever. Also, he can pull off a bowler. She LOVES the Riddler btw.
You have a scary toxin? OK well so does the Scarecrow and he is WAY more terrifying than you. Like, is the Joker just copying the other Rogues of Gotham? She's fucking terrified of the Scarecrow! Which makes sense. She is a bird.
Joker is Batman's nemesis? Well she has a nemesis too and she's classy and deranged. Kate's nemesis makes robot clones of herself and has threatened to put her cigarettes out on Kate's face WHILE wearing a gold mask, okay? Classy. Madam Masque understands how to leverage the awkward sexual tension between hero and villain. The Joker just needs to admit that's what it is and move on from there.
Someone starts talking about Two Face and Kate's like, what are you saying? Disabled people can't be villains? Evil masterminds? That's fucking ableist. Also, he was a lawyer. The cops in Gotham probably don't even hate him for being a villain, it's probably just because he's a lawyer. How do you know the cops aren't framing him??? Answer THAT.
And Ivy? Kate has a massive crush on her obviously. And Ivy thinks Kate is SO bad at being a human she barely counts as one, she can stay around. Kate and Harley are BFFs. Ivy will be At It with the Bats and Harley and Kate are doing girl's night. They convince Babs to go with them. It's great.
Kate has ADHD. You know who she's terrified of? Calendar Man.
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thegreatyin · 6 months
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im going to be so normal when cn arknights 4.5 anniversary event zwillingstürme im herbst comes to global. im literally going to be so fucking normal. you can trust me. im going to be so chill and calm and collected about it. im going to reach record breaking amounts of so fucking normal
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deathlonging · 6 months
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can they invent a self growth that is easy and straightforward a redemption that is moss on a tree that absolves it of its parasitic nature by adding something of its own to the forest as opposed to like a fundamental change in the ecosystem of the tree itself and the plants around it that die to help it thrive. this century
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tieflingbi · 1 year
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gallbladder-free since '23 babeyyyyy let's fucking goooooooo
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tomtepixiedust · 6 months
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Been going through my (chaos) notes and would you look
A Harry Potter fic cookie
Potions class. The same as usual. A bunch of 13 year olds, the interesting and unlucky mix of Slytherins and Gryffindors, trying to survive the lesson.
However, two bloody masterminds (please note the dry sand-dripping sarcasm), two Slytherins (this time not the trying hard and shy Neville), both very much not conscious enough to be brewing over a cauldron (the acquired bag of baked goodies was worth it!) end up with a very odd mix of Amortencia, instead of the required draught meant for 3rd years.
Of course the content spills over the nearby desks and people. Especially the people.
In the end it ends up halfway on Hermione, who gets a whiff and
in a fit of inhaling the odor of the classroom, trying to identify the supposed target her instincts are trying to locate, taking in the situation, her analytical mind honing in on the specific substances, and a certain haze washing over, this weird sensation of belonging and knowledge, she settles and... This is it.
Potions.
Oh the glory of Potions, these intricate brews and complex ingredient-interacting
"I'm going to be a Potionmistress," she declares.
Which in turn eggs on Draco, the supposed rival in Potions class, but also the whiffs are potent and as the desks neighbour on the other side it triggers something inside, that might have or not been there. And essentially terrifies in his botched Amortentia-haze mind.
"Hey! Can't you be more careful, watch it---!"
(it turns out the weird brew cross just amplifies feeling from within their own soul/mind/personality and focuses them on one specific randomly found aspect and adds to it. Thus:
Hermione - thirst for knowledge - potions
Draco - a sense for another's feelings - empathy)
A potionmistress-in-the-making Hermione
A sentimental and sensitive Draco
Later on, in another class Luna gets a chunk of it with other Ravenclaws (the bullies turn odder than expected) courtesy of the twins who get hyped to try out this method for pranks (as it turns out, as per usual eavesdropping, making that mix ain't that hard not as dangerous hence good door pranking), so Luna declares Snape her personal mentor and friend, which ain't that odd as it's the odd yet friendly Luna, but more the bravery for going up and saying it ( una - bravery - target of her new found: Snape)
Also usual Hogwarts shenanigans while the chaos continues
2 students, a Slytherin and a Ravenclaw first years try to make it into the Ravenclaw tower cause 1) friends gotta help each other in this freaky situation 2) if anything happens you can sleep with me in the dungeon, maybe they won't notice it, Professor Snape has been absent lately, some accident or smth, hey my friend is also there, she will help us.
They end up in Hufflepuff. Well, fuck. That didn't work, at least the carpets are nice and fluffy.
Btw these two are 16 as they both are from a different country and didn't get the memo, they are witches
Btw there are also 2 time Travelers who just kinda hang around and don't give a fuck
Both happen in the background
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battywitch · 6 months
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Cool cool cool cool
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shiroselia · 7 months
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No but actually what the hell was SSE's on during that time they relied on basically nothing but violence-funny-because-violence humor
Like did nobody look at the Goldspurs and Agnetha even ONCE and go "Wow this is just Not Fucking Funny"
Because it isn't
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all-seeing-ifer · 1 year
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I will say as much as arthur darvill will always be my favourite curly, it is kind of a win for me that with the slightly awkward cringefail vibe sam palladio brings to him, my curly oklahomarevival / angel btvs parallels do now have more merit to them than ever. like they are kind of conducting themselves the same now.
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I did a sketch of my Owl House OCs Indigo and Leaf in their S3 outfits! (If they were in S3 of course)
Indigo would've switched up to a very casual outfit rather than their armor, and honestly this could be considered their workout or leisure wear. Plus they start wearing their glasses for once. (While I didn't add it they also have an eyeglass chain/cord due to his glasses falling when he reads.)
Leaf on the otherhand is doing a full 180 with his clothes, as his outfit is now a leotard with puffy sheer sleeves, as well as a little gem on it as a little added detail. Also Leaf has uh. Very long legs as you can tell.
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Conversation
Jane: Come quickly Gunther, Sir Theodore just called a castle meeting.
Gunther: Called a castle meeting? Can he do that?
Jane, shrugging: Well, he's done it now.
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kijosakka · 2 months
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how old are thee?
you fool. believing me to have an Age,
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longhairwoozi · 4 months
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love when chan posts and my dashboard collectively loses its shit because same
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ajdrawshq · 10 months
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before starting yume nikki i found out that in stars and time has a demo n ive been seeing it around lately so might as well try it and. i might have fallen in love with it immediately. especially siffrin...... absolute top tier protagonist right here i just Know
#everything from their design (SO shaped....) to their silly attitude is vv charming#n that one bit where theyre just like hell yeah i love just existing next to my friends without saying anything. theyre just like me fr fr#i like the others too tho !!!!!! especially mirabelle shes so neat :3#i need to buy the full game now or it will be the end of me#the 'memory' option mildly terrifies me. what is that supposed to imply for later things ..........#ok im not done talking abt siffrin i just cant believe how like. theyre so many things i love in characters ESPECIALLY playable ones like#theyre basically like. all of the things i enjoy abt therion minus the initial Trauma. tho im pretty sure theyre abt to go thru some shit#since. this is a time loop game#although they seem to be missing an eye already so who knows !!!#theyre also not from the area we start out in compared to Mirabelle and Bonnie and i think Isabeau?? which is interesting#Odile also isnt but she has a confirmed home place#i apologize in advance i just know siffrin is a future blorbo i can feel it .#why did he just nya . as a reflex when hitting a table.#i like how everyone seems to have different nicknames for each other#oh my god are they gonna abuse the time loops to make this one (1) joke hit better. ohhhh my god#im in tears#yippee first death !!!!!!!#NCJSKHS??????#no yeaj i love this game and siffrin actually. holy shit. 'okay youre over it now' ok yay 💕#'you got a memory of looping! youll always remember this.' WELL. OKAY (FEAR)#siffrin trying to talk to people right after jumping back in time is just how i do conversations normally#HIM USING TIME LOOPS TO HAVE BETTER REPONSES HE FUCKED UP BEFORE. REALIST SHIT EVER#oooooo it keeps siffrins level ups but not the rest.. very good attention to detail very good#does that mean siffrin can get like. ridiculously busted compared to everyone else#YOU CAN SIT ON STOOLS !!!!!!!!!#oh i was wrong abt isabeau hes not from here either. city boy...#oh i hit the end of the demo . buying this later or ill explode#isat#ok. yume nikki time !
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sherlockggrian · 1 month
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the vampire Mumbo headcanon is really funny cause like. people draw him as this suave scary dapper vampire man and in reality he is just THE most unserious guy on the hermitcraft server. that man has never stood up for himself in his life. his voice goes 3 octaves higher every time something even mildly inconvenient happens and he acts like it's the end of the world. he's been on the server since season 2 and he's barely socially competent with anyone other than Grian Scar and Iskall, and Scar is pushing it if Grian isn't there. he's terrified of one on one conversations. he's terrified of practically anything that moves. trying to imagine Mumbo actually having to suck blood out of someone is the funniest thing in the world. he would be too scared to do that to a COW. keep up the good work everyone I love vampire mumbo so much
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obsessivevoidkitten · 5 months
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Releasing The Noctwind Brothers
Yandere Twin Vampire Brothers x Gender Neutral Human Turned Vampire Reader CW: Incest between the vampire brothers, mildly dubious consent, intoxication, reader initiated sex, threesome, spit as lube, cum as lube, biting, blood sucking, forced to drink blood, forced to turn into a vampire, bullying, bully gets killed, beating, reader has temporarily broken bones, temporary injury, overprotective yanderes, general yandere behavior, twin yanderes, surprisingly whole ending, surprisingly happy ending Word Count: 3.3k (I know this kind of fic isn't for everyone between the violence the bully receives and the incest, but I hope a lot of people like it anyway. I worked very hard. Also yes, this is a repost because the original had an accidentally gendered pronoun. I apologize if anyone read that and experienced dysphoria.)
You had made a mistake. One that would, soon enough, prove to be a fatal one. Not just for you.
In your haste to start a task you had as one of the town’s carpenters you had turned a corner and ran right into the town brute himself, Jorry. Running into him, at any time, could result in a punch from his large meaty fists, but he had been carrying eggs freshly laid from his hens. This resulted in egg yolk covering an outraged Jorry.
Jorry had bullied you for as long as you could remember, he and his friends pummeling you whenever you happened upon them while he was in a bad mood. Or in any mood really. He just really liked using you as a punching bag. Most people left such behavior in childhood, but not Jorry.
You wasted no time at all in fleeing upon seeing who you had ran into. You weren’t quite in the mood to be nursing a broken nose that day. Luckily he had to wipe egg goop out of his eyes and that gave you some crucial extra seconds to make yourself scarce.
Despite making it a good way out of your village, the angered Jorry pursued you. He was nothing if not persistent. You hesitated a bit, but decided your only hope was to flee into the cave that everyone in all the nearby villages were terrified of. No one could remember the truth of the matter, but it had long been forbidden to enter. Many superstitious folks wouldn’t even travel within viewing distance of it.
You did not put much faith in superstition though, and no matter what was in there it couldn’t be worse than how badly Jorry would beat you if he caught up to you. If you had just taken your punishment in town someone would have happened by or heard your screams and he wouldn’t have been able to do nearly as much as he would all the way out here.
Again, a truly fatal miscalculation. You damn fool.
Hoping that you were safe in the cave you crouched in the shadows. But, while absurdly violent, your pursuer was not particularly dimwitted. He pretty quickly surmised that the cave was the logical place for you to have gone. You heard him scream and call for you in the distance.
The only chance to avoid the beating of your lifetime was to retreat farther into the cave. You crept back as silently as humanly possibly. When you went as far back as you could you came across an old metal door, carved into the rock surrounding it were twisting serpents. An ancient rune of unknown meaning was etched into the door itself.
Staring at it filled you with dread and you were possessed with the all consuming urge to flee the way you had come, but it was forgotten as if it was never there when you heard Jorry again, this time near the entrance of the cave. If he entered it now he would be able to see you. Light still made it this far.
With the subtle magic of the rune no longer working on you, you slowly opened the metal door and entered into what looked like an underground mausoleum. An underground tomb long forgotten by the histories of man.
You found yourself between two large rectangles of stone. A chill ran up your spine when you realized they were sarcophagi. Evidently the final resting place for two souls left to the dark and dust of this cave. They were plain and unadorned, other than some words on the top. You leaned over and tried to make out the inscription on one when you suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of stone grating against stone.
The sarcophagus opposite of you moved before the one in front of you did. You tripped backwards in fright as the lids were pushed aside and two pale emaciated corpses pulled themselves up and faced your direction. You couldn’t quite tell in the dark but it seemed like their eyes were completely black, creating a chilling contrast with their pale skin.
The thin pale figures slowly began to pull themselves out of their not so final resting places as you got over your initial shock, got up, and got the fuck out of there. You sprinted past the metal door and back into the front of the cave.
You were so engrossed with the current task of running away from the corpses of the damned risen to do any manner of unholy things to those still living that you did not see Jorry as he entered the cave. For the second time that day you careened right into him, knocking you both out of the cavern and on to the dirt outside.
Jorry growled and grabbed your leg, pulling you over to him.
“You ran like a bitch, finally decide it’s better to face your punishment?”
“No, no, no, you don’t understan-”
He pinned you and began wailing away at your smaller body with his mighty fists. Blow after blow. Your nose was surely broken. Then he got up and started stomping on you with his powerful foot. Now some ribs were certainly broken too.
Suddenly you heard Jorry yelp and the beating stopped. Your face was swollen and bloodied, your mind consumed by the pain of broken bones. You couldn’t tell what was going on. Jorry was screaming, blubbering like a girl. The dearly departed had been slowed due to their time without feeding, but with Jorry distracted by his treatment of you he was easy enough prey.
The thin pale figures had him down on the ground, pinning him with less effort than he had pinned you. They bit into his body, ravenously drinking his blood. Not enough to kill him, but enough to reinvigorate themselves and make him weak and helpless. Barely able to move.
You had managed to wipe the blood from your face and saw what was transpiring. You tried your best to drag yourself through the dirt and put distance between yourself and them, but you only managed to get about a foot away before they finally noticed you.
“Alaric look! The one who saved us… they need tending to.”
The vampire evidently named Alaric joined his companion in looking over you. As injured as you were, you struggled to plea for mercy.
“Shhh, shhh. We aren’t going to hurt you. We’d never hurt our savior.”
“I’m Anthelm Noctwind and this is my twin brother Alaric Noctwind. We're going to help.”
Anhelm positioned himself so that your head was propped up in his lap. He bit at his wrist until blood was flowing.
“Here. Drink.”
You weren't sure what lore was true and what was merely myth, but you were fairly positive that it was universally agreed upon that turning into a vampire required the consumption of one’s blood. You struggled to turn away but you were powerless to do so. Alaric held your mouth open as Anthelm held his bleeding wrist above it.
Blood dripped in and you gagged as you were forced to swallow. It tasted the same as any blood, though perhaps a little sweeter. Shortly after you consumed it you lost consciousness. Both due to the blood itself and your rather severe injuries.
They took you and Jorry back into the cave. It would take the rest of the day and a lot of the night for you to turn and heal. Alaric carried you with the utmost care and consideration for your wounds while just picking up Jorry and tossing him in unceremoniously, causing him to cry out in pain as he hit the hard rocky floor.
“I’d kill you now and decorate this place with your entrails, but we need you for something, so just keep quiet.”
Between Jorry’s incessant pleas to be freed and his attempt to run out of the cavern while they were both busy watching you resulted in his clothes being torn from him and ripped into strips that were used to bind and gag him.
Alaric, the cruelest of the brothers, watched in amusement as their hog tied victim cried and shook in fear. The hulking peasant experiencing the fear of death for the first time. The amused vampire went over to him and pet him like he was a pet, in mock sympathy.
“Don’t worry~,” Alaric cooed, “You’ll be out of your misery soon enough.”
That prompted renewed struggles from the naked man. Alaric only laughed in a maniacal fashion as he returned to your side. They had removed their coats, still pristine as the day they had been sealed away, and used them as bedding for you.
They patiently waited for hours, Alaric occasionally taunting poor Jorry, until you finally stirred. The swelling had gone, your bones had mended, and they had licked up the blood that had covered your face. The only evidence that you had ever suffered at all were the bloodstains on your clothing.
It was well past midnight, the twins had lit a fire to keep you and themselves warm. You could see them clearly now that your face was healed. They both looked exactly alike, down to the same outfits. High class, but outdated, attire. They had pale grey eyes that observed your every movement, completely different from the black voids you thought you had seen earlier. Flawless pale skin with delicate, feminine, features. Their long straight hair accentuated their looks perfectly. They could certainly pass as women if they wore the right attire. Maybe they lured in victims that way.
You were confused and more than a bit groggy, but you managed to piece together all the events that had transpired before your rest. You jumped up and made for the door but they were quicker than anything, human or animal, that you had ever encountered. One got behind you with his hand on your shoulders and the other stood in front with his hand on your cheek.
“Don’t be afraid, dove. We aren’t going to hurt you.”
You whimpered as they each took one of your hands and guided you over to Jorry.
“You consumed vampiric blood, right now it has transformed you. Temporarily.”
“Yes, to make it stick you’ll now need to kill.”
“Technically it doesn’t need to be human, any mammal will do, but since we have this lovely volunteer we figured we shouldn’t waste it. ”
“Don’t really want him talking about us. Don’t really want him to live after hurting our dove. And, well, it spares some rodent that is more deserving of life.”
You shuffled nervously.
“I… don’t want to be a… vampire…”
You looked down at your feet, trying to avoid eye contact with them or Jorry who looked up at you with tears streaking his face.
“Sorry, but we aren’t really giving you a choice.”
“We didn’t mean to make it seem that way, please forgive us.”
“You saved us, you had enough magical power to open the door and ignore the rune. You will be a strong vampire, and we can tell a lot more about you by your scent.”
“Smell things like personality, even some thoughts. We know you will be perfect for us.”
“Uh… can’t I just stay with you and remain human?”
“No.” They both said in unison.
“Humans age and die.”
“Humans have betrayed us too. That’s how we ended up here. You broke the seal so we have to show our gratitude.”
You kept staring at your feet until you worked up the courage to ask the question you were afraid to hear the answer to.
“What if I refuse?”
Anthelm smiled and Alaric laughed as if it was a funny joke. Not that you could tell them apart yet.
“Not a choice sweetie, remember?”
“If you don’t do it willingly then I block the tomb entrance so you can’t go deeper.”
“And I guard the cave exit so you can’t leave. Then we leave you alone with your friend. Your hunger will grow. You’ll crave blood. Your senses will be unbearable.”
“You’ll hear his heartbeat, he will smell delicious, then you’ll drain him dry.”
“In more normal circumstances he could survive that, and the blood consumption without a death only prolongs the transitional period, it wouldn’t make you a true vampire. Go long enough without blood, have someone tie you up for a few days, and you’d turn fully human.”
“But he is weak and beaten. He won’t survive.”
You looked at them and stated boldly that you’d resist.
“You are more than welcome to try.”
They each took their agreed upon spots to guard against you fleeing. True to their word you did steadily become more and more hungry. Thirsty for blood. Your senses became acutely aware of the food that had been tied up for you. You tried to resist. Your body shook with the effort. You had a splitting headache and panted heavily. Jorry smelled so good, and the beat of his heart beckoned you towards him. Though you resisted longer than most, the outcome was inevitable.
You descended upon him, he squealed as much as he could with his gag as you bit into his neck and sucked him dry. His futile struggles getting more feeble by the second until they stopped entirely.
Alaric and Anthelm were behind you watching with wicked smiles.
When you finished your meal of Jorry you looked on in horror. But only briefly. You had over consumed and the effects were as powerful as they were swift. You were a bit dizzy and felt as though you were light as air.
“With his death you’ll be with us forever!”
You tried to get up but stumbled and nearly fell. One of the twins caught you. You smiled and nuzzled into his neck. There was a cute man holding you, why had you been so horrified earlier? You shrugged it off, if you couldn’t remember then it probably wasn’t too terribly important.
“Careful, dove. The first times on human blood and drinking to the point of death can be intense.”
“And we definitely let you drink too much.”
You giggled and stroked Anthelm’s soft black hair, not at all paying attention to his words.
“You’re prettier than any girl I’ve ever seen.”
He blushed and Alaric cackled at the spectacle. Until you kissed Anthelm deeply. Then Alaric looked a bit jealous.
You grinded your crotch against Anthelm and giggled at the face he made.
“Everything feels so… intense.”
“Ddon’t you want to go somewhere a bit more... comfy?
“Or romantic? We could find a town. An inn.” Added Alaric.
You ignored him, proceeded to unbutton his shirt and then rubbed your hands over his lean abs. He started returning the treatment, Alaric came over and helped him undress you. It didn’t take long for all three of you to be nude. They used the clothes to make an impromptu bed. Anthelm laid down, his erect cock on full display.
He pulled you on top of him, kissing and nipping at your neck while Alaric was behind the two of you. He pressed two spit-lubed fingers into both you and his brother. Both of you writhed in pleasure, but it simply wasn’t enough.
Alaric didn’t need to stretch either of you out, vampires wouldn’t be pained by something like a cock shoving its way in, but it would feel better with more moisture. He withdrew his fingers, making you pout, and lubed up his cock with saliva before sucking on his brothers for a moment to get it wet.
Then he guided his brother's dick into you before sliding his own cock into his brother. You pressed back against it, trying to get the girthy member as deep into you as possible. Anthelm humped into you slowly, timing his thrusts with your bounces.
Alaric gasped as his cock was gripped by his brother’s tight inviting insides, he gripped Anthelm’s legs for leverage as he drove himself deeper. Anthelm, in the middle of all the action, could barely think. Simultaneously making love to you while being bred by his twin had him drooling.
“Always so tight…”
“Alaric, h-harder.”
His sibling obliged him.
You were in a worse state than Anthelm. You were new to being a vampire and the blood drunkenness combined with your recent kill made every sensation indescribable. More so when the sensations were that of a vampire at your neck and a cock humping into you while you weakly continued to bounce on it.
Anthelm’s entire body shook as he came in you, shoving his cock far into depths before unloading his seed. He took a few moments to catch his breath, an orgasm evidently enough to tire a vampire. If only for a moment. He stayed hard and began fucking into you again.
“I think you were made for us, angel.”
The stimulation was just too much for you and you screamed as you had the most intense orgasm of your entire life. Your body relaxed as you lay on Anthelm, no longer bouncing on his cock but content to let him keep using you as long as he saw fit as you nuzzled into his chest.
Alaric gripped his brother’s legs tightly as he finally slammed in hard and filled him like he had filled you. Without missing a beat he slid out of his brother, covered his cock in the cum that pooled out of him, and slid it right into you. Both of there cocks now covered in a slimy mix of both of their loads, using it as lube as they thrust into you in tandem. You whimpered at the sheer immensity of the pleasure that was filling you.
The three of you spent the rest of the entire night, and a good chunk of the morning, engaged in a rapturous sea of sex. Eventually you all fell asleep on top of them. Given their recent centuries long slumber they stayed awake and idly toyed with your hair or caressing you as you slept soundly.
They whispered to themselves about what the plan from there was.
“There’s a stream outside we can clean ourselves off in.”
“Yeah, I can smell it. After that head to a town?”
“A large one where we can blend in. Feed on livestock outside the walls. Maybe rats too if necessary. Always rats in large towns.”
“What about humans? Always rapists and thugs in cities that need to be taken care of.”
Alaric looked at Anthelm hopefully.
“True. True,” Anthelm relented, “I suppose it won’t hurt to remove a few bad ones. On occasion.”
Alaric broke into a large grin.
“Yes! I love how our new partner gets when they are drunk on human life.”
You stirred a bit in your sleep though you didn’t wake, drool under your cheek and on Alaric’s bare chest.
“Quiet, they need their rest…”
“Sorry,” Alaric murmured sheepishly.
They continued chatting about the future until you woke up. With a clearer head you were once more traumatized by what you had done, but they calmed you down and explained how he deserved it and that you were not a monster. They would guide you in your new life.
They were eager to leave behind the cave that had held them prisoner for so long. Bidding the cave farewell with a piss on Jorry’s soon to be rotting corpse, the closest thing he would get to a burial, the brothers departed with you.
You made a life for yourselves in one of the larger cities. Anytime someone tried to hurt you they went missing quite fast. It would be many years still before you had the degree of strength and power that the twins possessed. And even once you did they’d always remain overprotective.
You quickly came to accept and love your new existence with them. Anthelm took up your trade with you while Alaric became a prominent cook and eventually owner of his own restaurant. Apparently the hypersensitivity of vampiric taste buds helped him make delicacies. There was always a need for carpentry and fancy food, so you never had any money troubles, (un)life was good. And you had an eternity to spend it with them.
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xxsabitoxx · 8 months
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Ryomen Sukuna NSFW A-Z
Part of my 20k follower celebration (past due)
Warnings: if it isn’t abundantly clear, this is smut :)
A/N: in honor of hitting 20k followers a while back, I’m going to be posting 10 NSFW alphabets for JJK men — scheduled post 11 :) - I've developed an unhealthy obsession with true form Sukuna... he is all I think about now. Forgive me because this one is for sure a bit OOC since he like... loves you
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
If you managed to break the hollow icy shell that is Sukuna’s heart and make yourself someone important to him… Sukuna is pretty damn good with aftercare. He’ll clean you up, even ordering someone to get numbing salves because he tore you the fuck up and he know’s you’ll be sore and aching within a few hours if you aren’t already. He’ll use two arms to cradle you gently while his other set works on cleaning you up and making sure you’re okay. He’ll wait until you’re sleeping to whisper praises to you, telling you that you did so well for him and that he adores you. He’ll never really say these things to you when you’re awake though. 
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Sukuna loves your legs and thighs, he loves your hips and your stomach too. He loves having things to hold and your body provides so much softness for him. He loves to kneel before you – that’s right the king of curses kneeling before you – to lick all the way from the top of your foot up to your inner thigh. He’ll cover your legs in bruises and bites, making sure everyone is well aware that you are his property and nobody else can have you. He adores your stomach, often resting his head against it and letting you pet his hair lovingly. Sukuna will only show this level of vulnerability to you, letting down some – not all – of his walls. 
Sukuna loves his entire body, four arms, two mouths, two dicks, and all. He considers it his masterpiece and it deserves to be worshiped. He has no shame in proclaiming this either. 
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
If he’s not dumping several loads into your cunt/ass then what’s the point? Sukuna treats his cum just as he treats the rest of his body… It's sacred and a privilege to have it. He toys with the idea of painting your face or chest in it but ultimately doesn’t see the point in letting something so valuable go to waste. So creampies are the only way in Sukuna’s eyes. And trust me when I say this man cums a fucking boat-load. I don’t care if it’s realistic or not, he’s making you look bloated by the time he’s done with you.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Sukuna would let you do anything you wanted to him… he just hasn’t found the strength to give you that knowledge yet. He hates the idea of someone holding power over him, which is why he’s ever so mildly terrified of you. You may not realize it, but you have Sukuna wrapped around your finger… that man would kill the entire planet for you if it meant seeing you smile. 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Sukuna is very experienced, having tens if not hundreds of harlots laying around for his use. But that was before you. You changed his view on that sort of thing and he got rid of every single one of them… you are all he needs to remain satisfied and that is a feeling Sukuna never thought he'd experience in his existence. Sukuna knows what he’s doing and he knows what he’s doing well.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Sukuna’s favorite position is holding you up so your back is pressed to his chest. He has a hand hooked under each of your knees and he’s holding you up that way, spreading you apart further than your legs really allow. Sukuna is either sitting or standing and honestly he prefers when a mirror is present so he can watch your face contort in a mix of pain and pleasure. He has you impaled on his cock, easily able to trust in and out of you as you fall apart. 
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Not even a hint of goofiness in this man when he fucks you. He is all about business… I mean for real it was actually kind of terrifying at first but now you’re used to it. 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Sukuna doesn’t really give a shit about his hair down there… and yes it’s pink like the rest of his hair. It may sound fucking bizarre but if you want to trim and clean him up down there? He’ll let you do it. You bathe him often so it’s not necessarily out of your comfort zone to sit there and groom his nether region. He doesn’t really care what you do down there either. You can simply trim him to your liking or shave him bald. Whatever you’re into, he truly doesn’t care. 
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Sukuna is… romantic in his own way. He’s not detached from the situation at hand and he’s not focused entirely on himself. Sukuna shows his “romantic” side by letting you cum, maybe sparing you a few kisses, rubbing his thumb across the nail marks he left on your legs… he’s not one to say “I love you” or really express how much you mean to him. But it’s the small, subtle little things that hint towards his affection for you. 
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He’s got four hands, you’d think he’d use one of them to get himself off but he simply doesn’t see a need for that when he can have a random whore come do it for him. When it comes to you though? You never leave him, like Uraume, you’ve earned your spot by his side. He has you to assist him with those kinds of needs when they arise (heh). Though, he’s amused you once or twice by jerking himself off for your own enjoyment. Making a show of using two hands to jerk off his two cocks but stopping just before he comes because – as i’ve said – he doesn’t like to waste any of it, not a single drop can be spared. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Slave/Master kink for one… he just likes the feeling of being superior even though he doesn't need to “roleplay” to get that feeling. BDSM… or whatever equivalent there is for the Heian period. He likes it rough, messy, even a little bloody. Sukuna has a massive breeding kink but doesn’t want kids, he just likes the idea of filling you over and over again (regardless if you have the ability to get pregnant or not). Dacryphilia for sure, your tears turn him on. Orgasm control (both denying and overstimulation) are just another aspect that plays into his love of power. Sukuna loves restraints in any form, not him, though. He will for sure try and fist you. 
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Anywhere. Sukuna will fuck you where ever the fuck he wants too with no shame. He’ll fuck you on his bed, ruin the luxurious sheets and break the bedframe over and over. It’s gotten to the point where he actually got rid of it all together because he was sick of the wood splintering and nearly hurting you. Sukuna can and will fuck you on a raised platform in front of his petrified subjects. He wants everyone to know who you belong too – even if you don’t need to be fucked stupid in front of hundreds of people for them to know. It’s quite obvious. To be totally honest, Sukuna loves the mess and mayhem of fucking you in the tub. Watching the water slosh everywhere then ordering a maid to come clean up the damage, it makes him laugh. 
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
There is an innocence to you that really gets Sukuna going. You’ve done the most downright filthy things with him, you’ve stood beside him as he makes a bloody mess of someone… but somehow you still retain this sort of innocence to you that he loves to try and taint. It’s not to say you’re oblivious… you’re very smart in Sukuna’s eyes and he knows you have a mean streak. But when you’re with him… there is something about you that he wants to break so badly and he has such fun trying to do so… you’re resilient which would usually piss him off to no end… but with you it’s endearing and he can’t figure out why he can’t get enough (you’re in love dumb ass) 
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Shit. Yeah no that’s the one thing he can not and will not deal with. He’s had his fair share of bodily fluids – to say the least without going into detail. But he draws the line at anything to do with vomit or scat. It disturbs him… which is saying a lot. He’s had women offered to him as sacrifice that have done several things in fear and he can say he truthfully cannot handle it. Also, no threesomes ever. He’s not sharing you. 
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He’s a healthy combination of both (shocking). Sukuna loves watching you struggle to even take one of his cocks in your mouth nevermind both. But your mouth feels so damn good even though you struggle to get more than the tip past your lips. Sukuna loves to go down on you though, keeping your thighs spread apart so he can eat you as he pleases. Your arousal just tastes so good to him, he can’t get enough and he will not stop until he’s satisfied. 
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Rough and cruel for the most part. But he can be even meaner when he goes unbearably slow, splitting you open agonizingly with two cocks opposed to one just to see those pretty tears slip down your cheeks as you beg and plead for mercy (mercy he never gives). Sukuna will fuck you stupid with one cock most of the time, that’s his little bit of kindness towards you, but you’ll get fucked twice at least… ya know… gotta get the second cock off too. He’ll give you a choice, get fucked twice with one cock each time or get fucked once with two… mind you it’s never just once even if it’s two cocks at the same time or one each. You’re smart enough to take one cock multiple times unless you want to be bedridden because you can’t walk. Both options have happened to you many times though… so you really can’t tell why he offers you a choice. 
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Sex can take up a whole day when it comes to Sukuna. So, no, he despises quickies. He doesn’t like to be rushed, he doesn’t care if he gets caught, he’ll make people watch. What is there that would really appeal to him??? It seems more annoying than anything really. 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He will experiment but only on his own accord. He won’t say it outright but Sukuna is at least a bit mindful of the experiments he does… he doesn’t want to really hurt you or scare you away. So he picks and chooses what he wants to try on you. If there is something very intriguing to him that he worries will make you uncomfortable? He’ll force two other people to play it out while he watches and decides from there… he’s oddly considerate of you in that sense. 
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
As you saw above… sex can be an all-day process for Sukuna. He can last as long as he wants to… and I mean that seriously. His stamina is infinite, nothing will stop him but himself. He can go multiple rounds until you’re so fucked out you’ve lost count. He can last anywhere from 15-25 minutes per round, he could last much longer but his goal is inevitably to cum so why bother… praying for you honestly. 
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Toys like we know today don’t exist within his era (the Heian period) and honestly?? Sukuna is a fucking jungle gym in his own right so you really don’t need toys… and even if they did exist and were at his disposal? Sukuna isn’t using them. Why the hell would he rely on a stupid little toy to get you off when he’s more than capable?? He’s not intimidated by them, he just would think they’re absolutely useless… modern day though… if you begged him for a vibrator he would probably cave and get you one. He may even find amusement in it. 
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Sukuna and fair do not belong in the same sentence so it should shock nobody that this man will tease you until you are nearly dry heaving with how hard you’re crying. He will tease you for hours, to the point it feels like genuine torture, before he feels like getting you off. Then, the unfair attitude continues because he will not stop even when you start begging him to. He likes how quickly he can make you regret your words, seeing those pretty fat globs of tears leaking down your cheeks only makes the experience better for him. 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Sukuna will curse and groan but that’s about it. He won’t try and hide his noises, either, but he will try and make sure he’s not too loud. It’s rare to get a moan, whine, or whimper out of him. Especially since he has such good control over himself. But he will not hesitate to groan about how good his cock is feeling because of you… he has to give you a little something to get you to stick around, ya know? Not that you have a choice… and not that you’d really want to leave him anyways… giving up your luxurious lifestyle and being on the king of curses’ good side isn’t something just anyone can obtain, you know. 
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Sukuna hates your family, ever since you were dropped off to him to be a sacrifice. He doesn’t care about his donors and their sacrifices since all of them are mediocre pieces of shit at best. Though he knows a scumbag like him is not one to talk. But you? You arrived to him nearly beaten to death, half naked, with little to no emotion left in you. What the hell was he supposed to do with that? Where was the fun in playing with something that was already half dead. Though, as he was about to kill you, something in your expression moved his icy heart. That truly petrified him but he’d never let anyone know it. He kept you instead of killing you, ordering for the immediate execution of your rotten family instead. He likes to joke that he had the perfect specimen nursed back to health, in his eyes you really were perfect. 
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Sukuna is a tall man… while we don’t know his exact height in true form… he’s been guesstimated to be anywhere from 7.5 feet to 9.8 feet. A tall man is going to have a monstrous cock… or cocks in his case. When he’s soft he’s about 8.5 inches in length, and when he’s hard he’s just over 11 inches. He’s monstrous, girthy and sticks straight out… both of them do. He will hurt… he will make you feel like you’re getting ripped in half and he will often try and fist you to prepare you for him. He cannot fit all the way inside of you, as much as he’d love to, he's not trying to kill you by rupturing your organs. He’s a tan color, one dick is circumcised, the other is not… he was feeling quirky,  and has a deep rosy pink tip… or tips… you know what I mean. 
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Sukuna has to fuck you at least twice a day, if he doesn’t, he’s extremely irritable. He has at least 5 hours of his day set aside just for you. But really he makes his own schedule so he can do whatever the fuck he wants when he wants to. His sex drive is pretty damn high and he does absolutely nothing to deal with it or hold off. He will get off the moment he wants too. 
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Sukuna prefers falling asleep after you do, which can be pretty instant considering how long he may have been fucking you. So the answer is anywhere between 30 seconds and 10 minutes. 
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