#everyone experiences gender a little bit differently!
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
erynalasse · 10 months ago
Text
@valasania-the-pale
can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.
100K notes · View notes
s0ull3ss-p3rs0n · 4 months ago
Text
There should be a game about gender dysphoria and general transgender experience, where at the start you choose what gender you want to be born as from three options, male, female, neither, but when you choose, instead it shows you an error message and assigns you as the opposite gender, for "neither" it's randomised, and then you play as a kid who lives in an unsupportive enviroment, being pushed into gender roles, while trying to figure themselves out.
Does anyone here know how to make games? It would be nice if this actually existed.
64 notes · View notes
notherpuppet · 5 months ago
Note
Do you think there's a right and/or wrong way to handle QPR? I know it's a tricky relationship, but it feels like most/some people kind of just slap the label onto a ship while depicting the ship as just romantic/having no difference with a romantic relationship. (this is why I was a little surprised when you said you do radioapple qpr when it reads a lot more like normal romance). Not meant as an attack or anything on anyone, just genuinely curious more than anything. Again, tricky relationship
So Imma put this link to info at the top of this post: https://taaap.org/2022/07/16/qprs-part-one/
Alright, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, because that's exactly what it is. One small bit of perspective in a mass of many people who experience QPRs in their life and/or are on an aro/ace spectrum. I also have NO QUALIFICATIONS on gender/sexuality theory, so my opinions are shaped by what I've learned and experienced personally. While people may identify with the same term, we are all still individuals with our own experiences. Words can help describe a phenomenon, but it doesn't make everyone who identifies with the word into a monolith.
So I've stated a few times that I navigate shipping Alastor similar to my own experiences as an aroace person. (I guess I'm sharing about myself with this post, but I think that can be helpful to just spreading awareness of an "alternative lifestyle"). So I'm romance-repulsed and sex-repulsed LOL but I'm also "positive" about those things. Like I view romance and sex as lovely, fun experiences people can have, but I've never been into it personally. It's fun for me to consume media about romance/sex, but yknow, it's also fun for me to consume media about violence or isolation. Doesn't mean I want to experience or engage in any of those things lol.
Anyway, I'm a huge people person and I love to party and yknow it seems most people are really wanting to fall in love or fuck or whatever pretty much all the time, but especially at parties hahaha. Normally, I'm pretty touch-averse, but I love dancing so much and it's a blast to dance with a partner (salsa especially!! i don't care for grinding for probably obvious reasons). And to connect the two previous sentences, people (whatever gender they are) would be very kissy-touchy on the dancefloor. Which i honestly dont really give a fuck about hahaha. I don't really get anything out of kissing but I also don't mind it. I just like to dance. It's all a pretty superficial--but still genuinely fun--experience for me.
When it comes to my deeper or more intimate connections, I have had friendships that have felt SO on the line of what was viewed as a romantic relationship. They were exceptional friends and we connected on a level that was deep and true, but it wasn't romantic. Sometimes we'd slow dance, sometimes we kissed, and it rocked. But it wasn't more than that, it was all that it needed to be. I didn't want more and neither did they (except one situation and so we had to stop being friends lol whoops). From the outside, people would even refer to us as partners in a half joking way, but we really were just friends. And I love those friends!! And a huge part of what made those relationships (which at the time were described as 'situationships' because we didn't know any of these terms haha) was their convenience. We either lived in the same building, worked together, or were neighbors LOL. I'm still friends with those absolutely lovely folks, but we don't live around each other, so our QPR just appears a lot more like any ole regular friendship. But it's not like there was a feeling that we transitioned into something different than before. It twas what it twas! (Had to take a pause while I was typing to reminisce fondly for a second, okay back to hazbin hahaha)
SO, whenever someone asks or it comes up, MOST OF THE TIME I do ship alastor through an aroace lens and experience with QPRs (specifically, MINEE because they were fun and I've never felt like doing this before I met a character like Al). And my XP is: "this isn't gonna be a partnership and we ain't fucking" LMFAO. so yeah!
When it comes to using a queer term like QPR, I just hope folks are considerate in their writing, but I also am inclined to just believe them if they say that's their intention because QPRs can look very different. Again, aroace and ace folks are not a monolith. The terms help to describe a human's experience. I'm inclined to think people are writing in good faith.
And all this being said, I want to just emphasize that I really don't think it's necessary to consider any of this shit if you want to ship a fictional character. I understand wanting to be protective of a character who shares an identifier with you (I personally don't wanna see romance/sex with Al in canon). But shipping is a fun thing a fandom does that often does ignore canon. Tale as old as time. I don't think anyone needs to be beholden to canon when they're writing fanfiction or having fun. If we did, I would have like--5 artworks on this blog hahaha. These characters are like dollies, do whatever you want. It's cool if people don't like it and I think it's cool if people do. It's just not that serious. There are ships I'm not particularly into or dynamics that I am not enchanted by, but whatever. I can just scroll or close my eyes.
TLDR; shipping in fandom doesn't need to be taken seriously at ALL. It can just be fun way for someone to play with fictional characters they like. That being said, I think it's good practice to use queer terms thoughtfully.
560 notes · View notes
finnbbl · 2 months ago
Note
Hey, I saw your requests are open. Would you write something for 3Racha where something sad happens and the reader turns non-verbal to try and cope with it?
It's just a problem that I always have and I would like to know how you think the boys would react :)
3Racha when you’re nonverbal
Tumblr media
3Racha Written
Prompt: Being friends with the main producers of a music group had its perks. But when you’re asked to accompany them a certain gathering, you hesitate when you figure out who will be there.
Genre: Angst/Comfort
Gender Neutral Reader
Warnings: Implications of trauma, alcohol and dr*g mention, I don’t think there’s any swearing, reader goes nonverbal.
A/N: I wanted to first start off by saying I apologize it took me a bit to get out. I’ve been in my own slump and I’ve found it super hard to find motivation for anything, especially writing and posting.
I wasn’t sure if you wanted a specific incident to happen where the reader goes non verbal, so I hope this is okay. I also wasn’t sure if you wanted it romantic or not, so I just kind of wrote what felt right in the moment. I tried to leave the situation vague so it could match with anyone’s experiences. I personally don’t like it too much (I honestly hate my writing so it could just be that LOL) so I can make a separate post with a text version, of course it would be a little bit different than this. Please let me know your thoughts 🙏
Requests - OPEN
Masterlist
Please read disclaimer in masterlist
Tumblr media
Parties were the absolute worst. If you were forced to choose a least favorite thing on the planet, parties would be it. They’re loud and crowded; Worst of all, he’s always there.
3Racha had been nominated for an award. They had been invited to a big award show, a one where afterparties usually follow. You were incredibly proud of them, knowing just how hard they worked. They meant the absolute world to you, and to see them put their best foot forward and exceed tipped you over the moon. Previously, you’d turn them down when they’d ask you to attend with them, and you had a very good reason. Firstly, parties just weren’t your thing. You never fit in with everyone else growing up. Secondly, you knew that he was going to be there. You didn’t know what to call him. Putting a label on things had never felt right to you before. If someone were to ask him, he’d tell them you were together. But if someone were to ask you, you’d say it was complicated and you were content with how things were. You did that with everyone that seemed to be more than friends with you, commitment was a scary thing. But you did know that he was someone you never wanted to be around ever again.
You remember the way he’d always ask you to accompany him to one. He was the partier in the “relationship.” However, you’d always preferred to stay in. Nice and cozy in your blankets. One night, you decided to try and get out of your comfort zone. You wore something different, and put effort into your appearance. The moment he let his hand “accidentally” linger over your ass was the first sign of a mistake. The night only went downhill from there. Next thing you knew you were drugged and taken advantage of. It took you months to recover, months to find the will to get out of bed. Only Chan out of the three knew of this incident, but only very very vaguely. He only found out because he was the one nursing you back to your normal self again. You avoided giving him details, he doesn’t know the person, time, nor the place. You wanted to stick to using being tired as an excuse to politely turn them down. There was no way you could let them find out that you were just too weak to attend said gathering, especially because they don’t know what happened.
You listened to the boys explain how excited they were for this one. How this was such a big award, and how it was going to be so much different. The excitement that laced their voices made it hard for you to deny the question you knew was coming. “Do you think you could go with us this time?” They knew the answer every time they asked this question. A hesitant no, almost as if you were thinking about it. In reality, your mind was fighting off bad memories. It was hard not to think of it when even the topic was brought up, there’s no way you could bring yourself to revisit the place it happened. He was always going to be there, just like he was at every one while you knew him. Again, parties were his thing. So you were confident no matter which one you attended, he would be there. You were scared, to say the least. Scared of seeing him, scared of being pushed back into that dark room, scared of reliving what had made you feel so lifeless.
However, Han’s unintentional puppy eyes drew you closer and closer to the edge. How you wanted to see them happy. You weren’t sure if it was only platonic or if there was some hint of romantic feelings for them there, but you knew you loved them so much. Although the three knew the usual answer, they still proceeded to ask. They felt as they should always invite you, even if they know what your answer would be. However, this time you surprised them. With a quick purse of your lips, the words fell from your mouth. “Fine, but only this once.” The way their faces lit up when you agreed to go to with them brought a smile to your face. Though it quickly dissipated as your brain grabbed back at those awful memories. The guys were too lost in excitement to notice, but you’d prefer it that way. Everyone else had their own problems, so you hated adding your own on top of them.
The last few nights leading up to the award ceremony were filled with anxiety. Sleepovers with Chan were a mutually agreed way to get both of your minds off of stress. However your anxiety still managed to claw its way through what was supposed to be a comforting barrier with him. Chan was next to you, fast asleep which was something that was rare for him. Meanwhile, you silently cried next to him. Hours passed and you were still unable to fall asleep, too busy fighting off the horrible memories. Horrible memories of a time in your life that left you numb. You couldn’t shake it, knowing that he was going to be there. He was a popular artist, and you’d already checked the lineup for the event. His name was there, and now you were petrified. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell them you changed your mind. They were so excited, so you dealt with it.
The night of the party arrived. You’d isolated yourself for the day, hoping to prepare yourself enough for what was about to come. Hours passed and next thing you knew you were sat between Chan and Changbin on a fancy couch. Despite it being a fancy event, Han sat on the back of the couch with his feet on either side of you, his hands slowly running through your hair. It was a common thing for you to do with the three, often being very touchy with each other. It was to the point where you questioned if you were more than friends. While you didn’t kiss, or do anything beyond that, you were very hands on. Cuddling, hugging, playing with each others hair or outfits, you name it. However, you couldn’t decipher whether it was platonic or if there was a hint of romance in there.
Suddenly, an all too familiar voice snapped you out of the peaceful thoughts that managed to distract you for.. at least a little while. Soon enough, your worst fear of the night happened. He placed himself on the couch right across from you guys. The first 20 minutes or so, he had the subtlety evil smirk on his face.
However, you knew it would dissipate sooner or later. Based on your experience with him, he was an extremely jealous person. And given, how important skin-ship was to you and the three boys, it was only a matter of time. It happened when Han noticed you were quieter all of the sudden. His fingers came to a slow stop in your hair to travel down to your shoulder. His head leaning down to your ear to whisper something.
“Are you alright, jagiya?”
It was quiet, quiet enough where only those within a 3 inch radius could hear. So you wonder why you saw that man who you feared, drop his smirk to a frown. Maybe he read Han’s lips and noticed the word ‘jagiya’ ? Either way, you ignored it, and with a nod and a small smile which was noticeably forced, you brushed off Han’s worries insisting you were just tired. Changbin took notice of his member’s concern, and leaned in close to reassure you that the event would be over soon. You gave him the same smile and quietly thanked him.
Thats when he suddenly started staring daggers at you from across the room, his hand clenching onto the almost empty soju bottle. He was drunk, for sure. That had to have been the scariest part. It only added more fuel to the fire, you were silenced. Except nothing was physically stopping you from speaking. Your head dropped down, staring at your nails that now started to dig into the palms of your and in an attempt to quiet the voices in your mind. It was a bad habit you picked up when you got anxious. Recently, it’d been worse so you currently had crescent shaped markings left behind on the center of your hand. Han noticed the tension in your body, and leaned down to express his concern once again.
“Are you sure you’re alright? You’re very tense.”
No response. As much as you wanted to reassure him that everything was okay, you couldn’t. It felt as if your throat was closing up, you couldn’t speak or move. You were anxious, overstimulated and all you wanted to do was jump out of the window. Anything to escape.
Your eyes were now staring daggers into the floor, and your body was completely still. Did you even hear him? He wondered at your lack of response, however it didn’t take long for him to pick up on it. But before he could say anything else, Chan’s hand gently but swiftly grabbed yours. Holding your hands in such a way that your nails couldn’t fight their way through your skin again. Chan was a very observant person, so it didn’t take him very long to notice the marks on your hands. That’s when Han recognized what was going on, Changbin following in their suit not but a few moments later. Once again, Han leaned down to say something. He was well aware that you were nonverbal right now, but he said it anyways hoping you could at least muster the energy to tell him you wanted to leave. You suddenly felt a hand on either shoulder, which were now rubbing soothingly into your tense muscles. “Do you want to leave? Chan still has to say his goodbyes to everyone, but I can take you outside.” This sentence was whispered into your ear, and the word ‘leave’ sparked your attention. You nodded almost too eagerly.
With that, Han motioned for you to stand up, saying something to you excuse yourselves. Chan let your hands slip out of his, looking over at his band mate and Changbin to silently communicate everyone would be leaving soon. You were unsure of what he said, now focused on not making eye contact with a certain someone right across from you. The closer to you that Han got, the more anger you could feel emitting off of the man in front. That only left you more anxious. Suddenly, Han put his arm around your waist gently to guide you out. The anxiety started to die down as you stepped out of the building, but the tears you were fighting didn’t. “You okay?” Han softly questioned as your eyes looked up to meet his. It took him not but a brief moment to notice your glossy eyes. He immediately pulled you in for a hug, which caused you to break down. Still unable to speak, you only mumbled out incoherent words that the male tried so hard to pick up on. Fortunately for him, he was able to make out a few words which told him everything he needed to know.
You felt unsafe is what it was. Although he wasn’t sure why, it was a step. Han would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t sense anger and tension in the room. The reason was what he couldn’t figure out. His head rested on yours, gently rocking you back and forth hoping to calm you down. Suddenly the door opened, but you remained still. As Chan and Changbin walked over, your breathing began to slow down. “Sorry n/n, I did my best to get us out as soon as possible. They don’t know when to shut up.” Chan apologized and rubbed his hand up and down your back. “Come on, we’ll talk later. Let’s get her out of here.”
Once you all arrived home, everyone went to their dorms. Except you stayed back at Chan and Jeongin’s. Although the younger was in the middle of a brand deal, which left you and the latter alone in the dorm. The trio agreed it would be better if you stayed with one of them for the night, so they decided on the leader’s as it would be the calmest. Your body lay next to him on his comfortable mattress, the lights set to a soft and comforting purple color with the tv playing a movie on the lowest volume. The male laying next to you, with his hand running up and down your back. Your eyes followed the movements of the character on the screen, but your brain wasn’t absorbing any of the plot. It was obvious this was a difficult night for you, but Chan just had to know.
“Feel free to not answer, I know you’re still not in a talking mood..” He led on, and your head raised to make eye contact with him. “Was that the guy… from you know.”
You did know, you knew exactly what he was talking about. Your facial features remained still, looking back and forth between both of his eyes as you mustered up the energy to get some form of response out. With that, you only nodded before turning back to the movie. Chan could swear he felt his heart break and everything suddenly clicked in his mind. If he had known it would only cause you anxiety, then he wouldn’t have pestered you to go for so long. “I am sooo sorry y/n.” His other arm found its way around you as he rested his head on yours. “We wouldn’t have pressed so hard if we knew what was going on.”
Although you didn’t respond, your hand found its way to his and gave him a light squeeze to reassure him that it was okay. “I know I don’t know the whole story but you can always talk to me about how you’re feeling, alright?” A small smile formed on your lips and your head nodded against his, nuzzling further. He let out a light and squeaky giggle as he ran his fingers over your knuckle gently. It was in this moment that you realized it was all going to be okay.
254 notes · View notes
madelinemccoolname · 11 months ago
Text
Slime girl hrt
So, you’ve decided you’re a slimegirl. I’ve been on fluid replacement therapy, commonly referred to as slime hrt or shortened to frt, for five years but I haven’t managed to find a decent guide on the effects I’ve been experiencing anywhere on the internet. So I’ve decided to make this little guide for anyone who might still be on the fence. Keep in mind obviously I don’t speak for everyone and other goorl’s timelines might look a little bit different based on like genetics or something.
0-6 months
• For the first 3 months the effects are, I’m told, similar to estrogen’s first couple months, you’ll notice for sure your skin getting softer, your face might round out a bit, but the most you get are the side effects
• I personally was not prepared for how thirsty I got, I had heard about it but you really don’t know how much of your body isn’t liquid until you’re replacing all of it
• At 4 months is when I noticed my skin and body were moving kinda differently, tho this got the most pronounced at 6 months
• At 6 months all of my skin rippled like the surface of a pond whenever anyone touched me or like if the wind started blowing
• My joints got a lot more flexible, and my elbows and knees became double jointed (don’t do this too much)
• My hair didn’t get tangled overnight anymore
• My finger prints went away
6-12 months
• Here’s where the real magic starts, I got a lot thirstier for one and specifically had cravings for gatorade, I think this has something to do with slimegirls being partially salt water, but it could also be the food coloring in it (this is a joke about me drinking a lot of light blue gatorade and then being light blue)
• On the subject of color my skin got a sort of blue tinge to it, and most notably got completely see through by my 8 month mark
• The changes start from the thinnest part of your body and goes in towards your core, so even by 5 months your fingertips might be completely clear
• This next part is partially why I wanted to make this guide, so obviously your body doesn’t liquify at the same rate all over, for me this meant I was able to see the muscle in my upper arms if I looked through my fingers, this is both normal and something you’re going to have to get used to as you continue your journey
• Your toes are also going to turn at the same rate, this will probably be your first experience with lint getting in your slime bits, you don’t need to worry about your bloodstream getting infected with sock but regularly picking out bits is good hygiene and something you wanna get into the habit of
• My hair officially finished it’s transition into one solid shape, it still had defined follicles but if you tried to grab a strand of hair the rest would try to come with it
• People also started to ask me who dyed my hair, please note it’s always funny to say “it’s the way Goo-d made me” in response to this
12-24 months
• This window is larger than the others because all you’re going to notice from now on are the big changes
• Avoid tanktops past 14 months, your arms should be entirely translucent at this point and while having a buncha stuff floating around in my goo is kinda gender for me, people generally do not like to see slightly dissolved organs and ribcage
• 14 months was also when I noticed that my arm bones had entirely disappeared, my leg bones were also just barely holding in there, moving without bones was so freeing
• if you ever want anyone you know to stick their fingers in your slime, now’s probably the first time anyone's willing to stick their fingers far into your arms and legs, try to get them to wiggle their fingers. if they’re really adventurous they’ll stick their whole arm through to the other side, which still makes me a little squeamish
• Now that we’re at the part where I was mostly slime, we should probably talk about slime color. I’m going to dispel this misinformation, there is no way to find out what color a slimegirl is going to be before she starts transitioning. Some people say its eye color but that’s a lie. I am naturally a blue slime girl but my eyes pretransition were green. To dispel another myth you can dye yourself with food coloring, so you don’t even really have to stress about it
• By 18 months the only part of me that wasn’t slime was my head, the skull takes the longest time to dissolve because you’re doing the skull and all the organs in there all at once, see the human body really really wants to keep the brain safe, so when your brain gets the signal to get rid of your bones, it just does it all at once
• Some people say their eyesight got better, tho that seems to be anecdotal (mine stayed the same sadly)
• 18 months is also when I started experimenting with my shape. This was probably the most frustrating part of it for me, shapeshifting your goo is like a muscle, the more you do it the easier it’ll get. If you want a specific shape, spend enough time in it, and it’ll become your default shape, though you’ll never forget your original shape.
• 24 months is the last point I want to cover, by 24 months I was 100% liquid, the heavy viscosity from early transition leads to something closer to a liquid jello. I can detach parts of my body and then move to replace it, and I can reabsorb the parts I leave behind
• Clothes should rest just on the surface of you, though I know a lot of girls just change themselves to look clothed (probably more than you think ;)
• Suspenders and heavy cardigans break surface tension for me, luckily that's also a cute look so sometimes I match my cardigan with overalls for an aquarium effect on the overall straps
• This was also when I stopped breathing and going to the bathroom
• Some people report “knowing” when certain parts of their brain turn into goo, I didn’t experience that but it certainly could happen
Things I didn’t know where else they would fit
• I feel like a lot of this post was mainly dry, so in the interest of avoiding having a dry slime girl post, this section will mostly just be slime things that brought me joy
• I love speaking in slime puns, I keep a little book of slime puns and slant rimes just in case the slime arises that i would ever ooze some
• Being out in the rain or being out on a windy day is so much better when you can feel your entire body move in the wind, in particular go out on a rainy day without anything on, and lay down on the ground, the rain rippling through your entire body is heavenly
• Speaking of weather, when I first noticed I was refracting light on a sunny day I almost started crying, I felt so pretty and right :)
• I said I stopped needing to use the bathroom, but I still do siphon off some goo once a month. Mostly this is to get out bits of trash that accumulate and also because it feels exactly like taking a shower after a hard sweaty day’s work
• Speaking of bits, get a powerful magnet and metal shaving and you could probably waste a whole day just moving metal shavings through your body
• This might be a bit late in the guide for this, but when my arms finally turned I pulled a great prank on my at the time girlfriend by sticking my hand into a blender (do not do this if you still have bones, or value your girlfriend not being really really mad at you)
So that's all you need to know before starting frt, becoming the slime of your dreams is a difficult and beautiful process. I know a lot of what i described here might be frightening but if it sounds enticing at all know that it’s worth it.
995 notes · View notes
genderqueerdykes · 1 month ago
Note
howdy, this may be a stupid question but I saw a post of yours talking about how men can be lesbians and I'm just a little confused? can some men be lesbians just because they identify with the label? and If people of any gender can be lesbians what does being a lesbian mean? my understanding may be flawed so I would really appreciate help in understanding :3
hello there! not a stupid question!
yep, men can be lesbians simply by identifying with the label, that's all there really is to it! that's how every queer identity except intersex works, in fact! in recent years, we've begun welcoming non binary people into lesbian and gay spaces- so why can't we open the doors to other people? this can be for a variety of reasons why a man would identify as a lesbian, transmascs and trans men who started in the lesbian community and still feel a connection to that identity, bi/multigender men, genderqueer men, genderfluid men, intersex men, bi and pan men who feel like their attraction is gay and lesbian instead of gay and straight, lesbian trans women who are also men, the sky is really the limit!
it's a bit complicated to define what terms like "gay" and "lesbian" truly mean, because they don't exist in a static vacuum that can encompass everyone in that given community. every lesbian has a different definition of what lesbian means. many lesbians believe that it strictly means cis women being attracted to cis women, which is definitely not how lesbianism works at all. no two queer people will ever define a queer term the same way. a lesbian is anyone who identifies as one. it can be a queer woman, non binary person, or man, or a gender well beyond that. or no gender at all.
for example, there's a loooooonnnngggg history of trans women who are also gay. many trans women still identify as gay and with the gay community even well after transitioning and not identifying as a man anymore. this has been a well documented experience since the dawn of the modern queer community in the United States, so why can't we extend the same to men and lesbianism?
when i say i'm a lesbian, i mean a lot of things. i do experience queer attraction to women ofc, but for me, lesbianism is about community and expression. it's about my love for other lesbians, dykes and sapphics, not just women. i'm a lesbian-oriented person. i resonate with the community, history, and culture. i feel right at home hearing about other lesbians' struggles and experiences with gender, expression, identity and sexuality. i see myself in other lesbians, dykes, and sapphics, and just because i'm (partially) a man doesn't mean i have to give all of that up!
i hope that makes sense! most queer identities don't have a concrete definition when you get down to brass tacks. for example "genderqueer" is not something that's easily defined at all. people love to argue about what it "really" means but there's no one answer to that. the same goes for lesbianism. the experience is too broad to be able to be defined simply by saying a lesbian is is a woman attracted to women. identity and lived experience is too varied and complex for that
feel free to have any more questions you may have! if you'd like, i highly recommend looking into the life and works of Leslie Feinberg, a transmasculine butch lesbian revolutionary and queer activist who had to transition into manhood in order to feel like hirself as a butch lesbian. zie identified as multigender and never gave up hir lesbian identity, even after living as a man for many years. it was vital to hir butch lesbian identity :) thanks for stopping by, i appreciate you asking!
179 notes · View notes
bamfkeeper · 5 months ago
Text
Autumn activities with Kurt~
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I love fall, I'm a hugeee Halloween lover so I am feeling very excited that it's August. Anyway here's some fun things to do with Kurt for the fall. This might seem a little different from my usual writing, I wrote this over two days so I came back to it several times.
Warnings: Gender neutral reader, unedited lol
WC: 2.6k
Tumblr media
"Come on, Kurt, I don't wanna miss out!" you exclaimed, tugging him along enthusiastically. Your smile widened as you both walked down the picturesque path towards the beloved local farm. You were absolutely thrilled because the farm had already set up the intricate corn maze, which was one of your favorite seasonal attractions. In addition to the maze, they were offering delightful hay rides that meandered through the scenic landscape of the farmland and offered fresh ciders brewed by the farmers.
The farm was also bustling with activity as they sold a variety of pumpkins, crisp apples, and other delicious fruits that were all locally grown and freshly harvested. The entire atmosphere was filled with the excitement of the fall season, and you couldn't wait to explore every bit of it.
"Ja, ja, I can teleport us there too, liebe!" Kurt said with a playful grin, stumbling along with your enthusiastic tug. He tried his best to keep up with your eagerness, his heart swelling with affection. Kurt loved seeing your smile, how it stretched over your entire face, lighting up your eyes as you got to experience something that genuinely made you happy. The joy you radiated was infectious, and he cherished every moment he got to share in your excitement. It was in these moments that he felt closest to you, connected by the pure happiness that seemed to envelop you both.
You arrived at the farm, and a wave of excitement washed over you. The farm's distinctive scent filled the air, perfectly capturing the essence of fall. It was a comforting and familiar smell that you had dearly missed since last year. As you took in the surroundings, vibrant autumn colors painted the landscape, leaves crunching beneath your feet. "Can you smell that, Kurt?" you asked, turning to your blue darling with a smile. You took a deep breath, savoring the crisp, earthy aroma and sighed blissfully, "It's fall, and everything feels just right again..." The moment was filled with a sense of nostalgia and anticipation for the seasonal activities ahead.
Kurt chuckled warmly, clearly happy to see you so thrilled, especially since you had seemed rather down lately. Anything he could do to help you feel happier, he'd do without hesitation. "Ja...they have a lot of things here, don't they?" he said, taking the time to glance around at the beautifully decorated farm. The owners must really go all out for their showings, he thought, noting the intricate details and festive touches that adorned the place. The vibrant colors, the cheerful atmosphere, and the meticulous care put into every corner of the farm made it a truly special experience.
Kurt felt a sense of admiration for the effort that went into creating such a delightful environment. It reminded him of the circus and how they did their very best to present the entire grounds for the public.
"This is beautiful, lots of...pumpkins and apples," Kurt commented, taking in the vibrant decorations and the festive atmosphere around him. You were practically raving beside him, barely able to stay in place, but you kept your excitement under control the best you could. The autumn air was crisp and cool, adding to the enchantment of the scene.
Your eyes immediately went to the snacks they had meticulously prepared for everyone. Caramel apples, popcorn, pies, pops, cider—everything you adored was laid out on beautifully decorated tables. The scent of cinnamon and baked goods filled the air, making it even harder to contain your joy. The laughter and chatter of people enjoying the season added to the warm, inviting ambiance of the gathering.
What surprised Kurt was that there were both humans and mutants freely roaming around the farm. This was not something he was accustomed to seeing; mutants who looked different, like him, usually attracted a lot of unwanted attention in public spaces. Here, however, they weren't given a second glance. He looked around in amazement, almost confused by the sight before him, and you noticed his bewilderment. Your elbow nudged him lightly as you explained, "The owners welcome everyone here. They tragically lost their son, who was a mutant, so…they actively display their farm as a safe haven for all of us."
"Ah...I see," he murmured thoughtfully. He then shifted his gaze back to the owners of the farm, an older couple who stood nearby. They looked like the quintessential image of typical farmers, with weathered faces that told tales of years spent working. Their eyes were kind, filled with a warmth that instantly put one at ease. Their gentle nature was evident in the way they carried themselves, moving with a calm and steady grace. Friendly smiles adorned their faces, radiating genuine hospitality and a sense of welcome that seemed to embrace everyone who came to their farm.
"Come on! Let's go on a hayride! We can get some hot apple cider too, and maybe even pet the horses!" you exclaimed excitedly, tugging him along towards the rustic wooden wagon. The crisp autumn air filled your lungs as you approached, and you saw the magnificent horses already harnessed and ready to pull the wagon for anyone eager for a ride. The horses were gorgeous. They had sleek, well-groomed coats, their manes flowed gently in the gentle breeze of the cloudy afternoon. The horse's ear flicked and it turned its head to look at you approaching.
You grinned widely, feeling a rush of joy, slowing your approach as to not spook the two horses. Reaching up, you gently pet the horse's strong, muscular neck, feeling the warmth of its body and the softness of its fur. The horse nickered softly, acknowledging your gentle touch. "I love horses...they're amazing animals." You commented softly.
"The circus had lots of horses. And zebras," Kurt commented, gently stroking the other horse's nose and then moving his hand up over its forehead. "They are very intelligent animals, more than most think." He paused for a moment, admiring the animal's calm demeanor.
You both climbed into the wagon, eager and excited to go on the hay ride around the expansive farm. The farm was a large patch of land, ensuring that the ride wouldn't be short and sweet but rather leisurely and an enjoyable experience. It reminded you of rides when you were a kid, so excited for the fall holidays to come without a worry in the world. As the wagon began to move, you sat closer to Kurt, feeling the warmth of his presence beside you.
You sipped on some delicious, warm cider, savoring the taste as you looked around the picturesque farm. The brilliant apple trees stood tall, their branches heavy with ripe fruit, and the vibrant pumpkin patch sprawled out before you, each pumpkin seemingly more perfect than the last. The horses wheeled around to see the intricate hay maze, its paths promising adventure and fun. The feeling of these happy things— the crisp autumn air, the vibrant colors, the laughter of families enjoying their day—made you feel so warm inside, a deep contentment settling over you. You were thrilled that Kurt was with you this year to experience all these wonderful moments.
"How do you like it so far? It's nice, right?" you asked, your voice filled with excitement and warmth while you were snuggled into his side, feeling his comforting presence beside you. He smiled in return, leaning his head over yours. "Ja...it's really nice."
"Just wait! We're gonna get pumpkins, and try the snacks, and go through the corn maze!" you said excitedly, smiling ear to ear. "There will be so many different kinds of pumpkins to choose from. We can get other stuff too if you want, like some apple cider or maybe even some fresh berries. And we can head back home and make pies together. It'll be so much fun to bake and fill the house with the smell of fresh pies...and we'll carve our pumpkins too!"
Kurt listened to you ramble excitedly about all the things you wanted to do with him, smiling at you the entire time. His eyes sparkled with amusement and affection as you listed off your plans. "Ja, ja, liebe...we can do all of it. I have not seen you so happy in a long time," he commented, his voice warm and full of love, not negatively but in a pleased way.
He chuckled softly at the end of your little rant when you mentioned the pumpkins, the sound rich and comforting, and he tilted his head thoughtfully, "Carving pumpkins, it is a little too early for that, ja? They will rot before Halloween if we carve them now!" His laughter was infectious, making you feel even more eager to spend time together, planning and enjoying each moment to the fullest.
"Well," you huffed and sat up straighter, playfully smirking at him, "It gives us a reason to come back here and get another pumpkin next time. We can even make it a little tradition of ours."
He rolled his eyes and smiled at you, clearly amused by your enthusiasm. "Alright, alright, schatz...if that's what you want," he said, his voice filled with affection. He leaned in and kissed your temple softly, then pulled back to grin at you warmly. "Who knows, maybe we'll find the perfect pumpkin next time."
"Both times!" You replied gleefully, savoring the joyous moment as the hayride continued its leisurely pace. After the hayride, you eagerly set off to explore the pumpkin patch, your eyes scanning the vast array of pumpkins laid out before you.
You were particularly picky, determined to find the most perfect pumpkin for you and Kurt to carve together later. Each pumpkin was a potential masterpiece in your eyes, and you examined them meticulously. Kurt watched you with a mixture of amusement and admiration, seeing how you scrutinized each pumpkin with a sharp, discerning eye. You carefully considered the color, ensuring it was the ideal shade of orange. The shape had to be just right – round with a flat bottom for stability when carving. Size was another crucial factor; it needed to be large enough to create an impressive design but not so big that it would be cumbersome to handle.
You hummed a cheerful tune as you eagerly picked up a perfect pumpkin from the patch. With a proud smile, you showed it to Kurt, "This one!" You walked over to him, carefully handing him the round, robust pumpkin. Kurt took it from you and looked at it, returning your smile. He didn’t know much about the nuances of picking the perfect pumpkin, having always assumed you just grabbed one that caught your eye. To him, it seemed like a simple task, but you made it sound so intricate and important, as if there was an art to selecting the very best one from the patch.
"Ah, ja, this one is very plump," he remarked, examining the pumpkin thoroughly before setting it aside. He observed you intently as you scampered off to find another one, admiring your playful giddiness. "Are we going to carry these all the way back?" he called out to you, his voice filled with a mixture of curiosity and amusement. He continued to watch you hop over pumpkins, not receiving an answer since you were too focused on your search.
After the farmers graciously let you borrow a small wagon to pull your proud pumpkins, you both wandered through the expansive and winding corn maze. The maze was a labyrinth of tall, rustling stalks that seemed to stretch endlessly in every direction. As you meandered through the maze, you found yourselves playing around joyfully.
He would chase you with playful determination, laughter echoing through the corn. "I will catch you, liebe!" Kurt called as you laughed happily and ran from him. He caught you eventually, without cheating and teleporting. You tumbled down carefully and giggled as he blew raspberries on your neck.
After you played chase, you hide behind the towering corn stalks and waited for your chance to jump out unexpectedly, scaring him for fun and eliciting delighted squeals from the both of you. "Liebe! Mein Gott, I almost had a heart attack!" he laughed playfully with you. "You are getting better at sneaking, have you been training in the Danger Room without telling me?" He poked his tongue out at you.
The corn maze was fun, with its winding paths and unexpected turns providing plenty of entertainment. However, after navigating the maze for a while, you both started to feel hungry. Deciding it was time for a break, you headed over to the snack area. There, you found a delightful variety of treats lovingly made by the farmers and decided to try just about everything. There were slices of pumpkin pie and pecan pie, fresh fruits like apples and berries, and delicious caramel apples with homemade caramel.
You were so incredibly excited and completely caught up in the moment, indulging in these delightful comfort foods with such passion that even the sin of gluttony would be envious. It wasn't all your fault...the farmers were so kind and they just kept giving you food like loving grandparents trying to feed their kin. Kurt playfully teased you, gently poking your nose as he affectionately called you, "My sweet little cavity," followed by a chuckle and a tender kiss on your cheek. "I think we've had enough sweets for today... I feel like I'm going to go into a sugar coma," he laughed, somewhat embarrassed. Kurt had eaten far more sugar than he was accustomed to.
By the time you got back to the mansion, you felt the weight of the sugar hit you like a ton of bricks, making you incredibly sleepy, and Kurt felt exactly the same way. After you both managed to carry in your respective pumpkin and bag of goodies, which were now feeling much heavier than they did earlier, the two of you trudged up to the bedroom. Without even needing to discuss it, you silently agreed that you both needed a well-deserved nap to recover from the day's activities and all the sugary treats you had consumed. The soft bed looked so inviting, and the thought of sinking into its comfort was too tempting to resist.
As you lay down on the soft, inviting bed, you felt a gentle wave of relaxation wash over you, knowing that this upcoming nap would rejuvenate you for the rest of the evening. You couldn't help but watch Kurt as he casually stripped his top off, your eyes tracing the way his well-defined abdomen flexed with each movement. The sight made your loins stir with excitement and need. However, it wasn't enough to distract you from the overwhelming desire for sleep. The need to rest and recharge was the dominating feeling right now.
As you snuggled into him, feeling the warmth and safety he provided, you sighed deeply, a sense of contentment washing over you. A soft, serene smile crept up your face, spreading slowly as you reveled in the moment. He could feel your smile against his fur, the gentle curve of your lips pressing into him, and it made him chuckle softly. "What is it, schatz... you are grinning ear to ear..." he murmured lovingly into your hair, his voice a tender whisper that sent shivers down your spine, his accent sounded thicker whenever he was tired.
"Oh, nothing..." you trailed off, your voice barely more than a whisper as you leaned into him. You buried your face in his chest, feeling the warmth and softness of his fur against your skin, and took a deep breath in, inhaling deeply. His fur tended to keep scents for longer than normal, making it feel like you were enveloped in a comforting aroma that lingered. The scent reminding you of autumn days, warm drinks, and cozy evenings by the fire. All of the wonderful scents you had from your eventful day imbedded in his velvety blue skin.
"You just smell like pumpkins," you murmured softly.
Tumblr media
Thanks for reading.
*BAMF*
Tumblr media
Cover Images: House of X #3 (2019)
Dividers by @/adornedwithlight
313 notes · View notes
catnippackets · 10 months ago
Text
disclaimer: as a sex-repulsed aroace person myself--
on one hand, there is definitely a bit of a double standard when it comes to handling canonically queer characters like, from what I've seen in the circles that I frequent (if you've had different experiences then great but I'm just telling it how I see it). for example, you're morally reprehensible if you ship a canon lesbian with a man or refer to a canon bi character as a lesbian. people will be so angry with you. and it's understandable, since there's so little queer rep in comparison to cishet rep that when there IS a rare actual queer character, the unofficial rule is "don't take that away from them when you add more headcanons to them". like, respect that this one is REAL and NOT just a headcanon. I think it makes perfect sense to feel upset when people take that away, even if it is just fiction and not even canon to the original source. and yet, whenever there exists a canon asexual character suddenly it's all "oh well asexual people can still have sex so it's fine if we headcanon THIS canon sexuality as something different". it makes me feel so genuinely heartache-y and depressed to see ppl ignoring that aspect of a character.
and by "canon" I'm also including characters that were never specifically referred to with a label but are very obviously coded as something, because those characters will still get the "even if it's not stated it's pretty obvious!!" treatment when it comes to showing attraction to the same gender, but not when they DON'T show attraction to any gender. like aro and/or ace coding just doesn't count. I understand that it's kind of hard to represent an absence of something, especially when you're only implying it and not even directly showing it, but it's not impossible. there's a lot of characters that you could argue are aroace coded the same way you could argue a character is gay coded. obviously to a degree every queer identity gets disrespected in fandom and it's something you just kinda have to deal with, but it's easier to notice when it's something you personally relate to. I don't think it would bother me as much if we didn't have that unofficial "respect the canon" rule and everyone just went wild with whatever, but the double standard does genuinely hurt me, especially when I see people I thought were cool about this stuff participating in it. so whenever I see someone fiercely defending an asexual character it really makes me feel good, like I'M being defended, not a random fictional character that I might not even recognize the name of. I feel safe, like that person will respect ME.
THAT BEING SAID,
AS a sex-repulsed aroace person who enjoys thinking about the entire spectrum of intimacy and where a character may fall exactly on that spectrum, ALSO as a person who is aware that "asexual" simply means "does not experience sexual attraction" and not necessarily "is violently repulsed by anything sexual", sometimes I DO want to play out scenarios for my own enjoyment. sometimes I DO want to think hm I wonder where this ace character's line is, compared to a different ace character. I wonder if there is anyone who would be an exception for them, and how they could go about dealing with that exception. I wonder if they're favourable, neutral, or repulsed. if those aspects of their character aren't explicitly stated then what's to stop me from playing around with them and working through my own issues in a controlled and non-canon environment? if they have the same identity as me, I am way more likely to want to play around with them like a doll and perhaps play out scenarios that I might have thought about before but don't actually want to do for real. I'm not taking away their identity, after all; I'm just, in this scenario, imagining this ace character as an ace that might have sex on at least one occasion for whatever reason. either just to try it, or because they do have someone they'd make an exception for, or if they got bored enough, whatever the reason. it isn't quite disrespecting their truth unless it's explicitly stated either in canon or by word of god that it's something they're uncomfortable with. and to be honest, if I see another asexual creator headcanoning a character as somewhere on the asexual spectrum and depicting them in sexual situations, it makes me almost happy, to know that they're still acknowledging that character's canon identity and accepting and exploring the nuance that could come with it, even if I personally believe that this specific character would be repulsed instead of neutral or favourable. there's this understanding of "I'm doing a character study exploration thing", and not "I don't care I just wanna sexualize this character"
but I literally feel GUILTY when I want to write what is essentially a thinkpiece disguised as a fanfiction or original story on asexuality and take an asexual character (canon or coded) and involve them in sexual situations to explore different avenues of the spectrum. I feel like I'm betraying everyone who's like me and is frustrated with how aroace characters are treated within fandom. I'm like "am I being just as bad as those other people who will disrespect a character's canon sexuality just because they think that character is hot and want to ship them with someone? do they do the same thing with other types of queer characters? how does this reflect that person's view of people, if they're explicitly told someone feels a certain way and decides to ignore it for their own amusement? or is it just because they're fictional and not real people and I'm being really sensitive and thinking way too much into it? am I not doing the exact same thing? do I have more credence to explore scenarios like this because I am aroace and sex-repulsed myself and therefore have a pass to do whatever I want and it won't come off as a little weird the way it might if someone who's allosexual did it?"
and these two opinions are at war in my mind constantly. like both of them can and do co-exist but I still struggle to accept that lol
487 notes · View notes
nothorses · 11 months ago
Note
What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?
It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.
It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.
Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.
Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?
- [ ]
I think trying to find one perfect answer that applies universally is the critical mistake here. I mean, I am a gay man. I say this because as of yet, that's the clearest answer I have for myself personally; maybe there's a possibility I experience attraction to a woman at some point (maybe I already have???), but I don't really have clarity on that right now, and it doesn't serve me to shape or explain my identity around "maybe"s.
Trying to pinpoint exactly what it is that attracts me to other men, specifically, is also like... not that useful. I used to find myself really attracted to feminine men specifically; not feminine women, not masculine women, not masculine men, not androgynous anyone, but feminine men. Specifically, men who were feminine in a very particular, long-hair-certain-attitude kind of way.
Recently, I have found myself appreciating, more and more, a certain kind of masculine body type and gay masculinity that I was never really interested in before. I find it incredibly hot. A lot of that coincides with things I appreciate about my partner, too, and things I find myself appreciating more about my partner as time goes on- as well as things my partner expresses appreciation for about me!
And I haven't even touched on attraction to nonbinary folks here because, like, it's a massive spectrum. "Nonbinary" means something different for every individual nonbinary person. To my mind, of course there's a possibility I experience attraction to a nonbinary person; how they identity, present, and what attracts me to them are all even more impossible to know for certain than the "maybe"s and the "why"s around my attraction (or lack thereof) to men and women.
My relationship to my own orientation was vastly different pre-testosterone versus post-testosterone, too. I was much more reserved and uncomfortable with relationships and attraction before I started T, and the only dynamic I ever felt was even a little bit tolerable was one where I was the "masculine woman" in a lesbian relationship. I didn't realize until very shortly after starting T that, actually, I like men. A lot. I felt comfortable with my body and my masculinity in a way I never had been before, and I felt comfortable in relationships with men; I no longer felt like I was The Woman By Default in contrast.
And that's all just me! This is my personal, specific, individual relationship to attraction, and how gender- both others' and my own- factors into my relationship with orientation.
I don't think it's necessarily inborn, or completely unchanging for everyone. I also don't think the same factors apply for everyone. I think a lot of different things can be true for different people, all at once, and it's not really useful to try to pinpoint a specific, universal explanation for orientation.
Everyone has a different relationship to orientation and gender; everyone will be influenced differently by cultural factors, by their own ways of processing and understanding the world around them, by the ways different aspects of their culture, identity, personality, and inborn traits and how they all interact with one another, and sure, maybe even by biological factors and tendencies.
Trying to solve this puzzle for the entire world of diverse human beings isn't going to make it any easier to understand yourself. Focus on what this all means for you, personally, and accept that you will never, can never, fully and perfectly understand anyone else's internal world and workings. Things get a lot easier when you can let go of that & just appreciate the diversity of human experiences, y'know?
452 notes · View notes
joi-me-hoi-me-noi · 10 months ago
Note
Hello, I saw that your requests were open and I wanted to ask if I can make one hehe, you don't have to do it or anything like that, but I'll leave the idea here anyway hahaha.
I would like to request a teen! Satoru Gojo x fem! reader and kid!Megumi (or gender neutral) Where Satoru Gojo and reader have known each other since they were little and they are both powerful, therefore when it is time to go on the mission to protect Riko Amanai she is also sent along with Satoru and Suguru,She also suffers because of Toji Zenin and basically everyone is traumatized (here we stick to the canon, doing the daily angst that our dearest Gege gives us..:) ) And basically after the events, reader and Gojo go to Megumi to make Touji's last words come true,I'd like to see a little bit of domestic fluff and a little bit of angst hehe...Reader seeing Toji in Megumi but at the same time wanting to stop because she knows they are completely different people. Happy ending :D
A/n: Thank you for this wonderful request, I'm pretty sure this is the first request regarding JJK in general so yippeeee! Enjoy!
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN (TEEN!GN!Reader x TEEN!Gojo) [ft. KID!Megumi]
Tumblr media
"Stay here with Misato, just in case that man manages to make it down here."
You simply nod, looking away. Something felt wrong, you could feel it in your gut. You feel Suguru's hand on your shoulder and you look up at him.
"Satoru's got this, he's the strongest there is. You probably won't even be needed."
You turn to Riko, the sadness building up inside of you. She looked like she was about to cry as well. You had so much fun with her, you'd miss her so much. She rushes into you for a hug, and you hug back tightly, your eyes welling with tears.
"I'm going to miss you." She buries her head in your shoulder. "I'll miss you too, bug."
You let go of her and watch as she walks forward with Suguru, leading her to the end of her life.
You and Misato finally hear the elevator coming down. Satoru made quick work of that guy; it really didn't take that long either.
"That must be him, right?" Misato looks at you, happily.
You start to smile as you felt the elevator growing nearby. Soon it fades, you detect no cursed energy from the lift at all. You start to activate your technique and Misato gets prepared to fight.
The elevator doors open then everything goes black.
"Y/n... Y/n!"
Your eyes slowly open as you wake up with a bad headache. You blink a couple of times and finally adjust to the bright light. Shoko stares at you in relief, smiling softly at you.
"W-What happened?" You suddenly remember the elevator and-
You sit up quickly, groaning in pain and being calmed by Shoko.
"Easy. Easy!" She touches her hand to your back softly, rubbing up and down.
"Is Satoru okay?!" She nods.
The door to the clinic opens to reveal Suguru, a solemn expression on his face.
"Suguru, what's wrong?"
"I gave Riko a choice of continuing to live or to die. She chose to live her life."
You smile, happy he gave her a decision.
"She's...um..."
You laugh softly, smile slowly fading. She couldn't have...
"She's alive and back at home with Misato...right?"
He stays silent, looking at the shiny floor of the clinic.
A sobbing scream was heard from inside the clinic as Gojo listened silently near the door.
╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮
You shoot awake from your bed, looking over at your boyfriend who is still sound asleep. Your hand unconsciously rubs the spot where Toji Zenin's bullet almost killed you. You let out a sigh and escape from the bedroom and into the kitchen area.
"You're fine." You open the fridge, the glow illuminating your face with the most perfect uncomfortable amount.
You lean your head against the fridge door and take a deep breath before grabbing a water bottle. You couldn't help but rest your head against one of the counters and sob. You hated how your traumatic experiences will always come back to haunt you. You wipe your eyes, take another deep breath and take a sip of your water.
Your ears pick up a light pitter-patter sound approaching slowly. You turn towards the noise, observing Megumi with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, stopped in the middle of the dark hallway.
"Hey Megumi, you shouldn't be up. What's up?" You crouch down in front of the counter as he continues his silent approach.
"I heard you crying and I couldn't sleep." The kid looked so much like him, he scared you sometimes.
"It's nothing to worry about." His eyes are so similar to his father's.
"I think it is if you're crying. Did you have a nightmare?" Everything is similar to Toji.
"So-Something like that. I'm almost an adult, it's nothing."
Megumi just stares at you blankly for a moment before wrapping his blanket-winged arms around your neck.
"Everyone's afraid of something." He leans in closer to your ear, whispering. "It's okay to admit it, I'm afraid too."
You smile and hug him tight, rocking him back and forth on the kitchen floor. He made you feel better, way better than before. He's just a kid, Y/n. He's not his dad.
"Let's rest together, yeah? It might be easier to sleep that way." He nods, tiredly.
You scoop him up and walk over to the couch. You lay on the couch with him cuddled up into your neck, softly breathing. Megumi fell asleep quickly. You brush your fingers through his hair, watching him fall into a deeper sleep. Soon, you follow him into a better dream than before.
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇
Satoru wakes from his sleep and walks into the living room, knowing you got up in the middle of the night. He spots Megumi cuddling with you in his sleep and you hold him tightly.
'Cute...'
He touches the small scar on the side of your head and then kisses it, bending down slowly. You're more comfortable with Megumi and he hopes you'll get closer to him from here on out.
╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯
Masterlist —> link
312 notes · View notes
needle-thread-thimble-spear · 7 months ago
Text
RGU and the Transfeminine, Part 1
OR
Why Miki Kaoru is an Egg
Tumblr media
Fig. 1: The Sunlit Garden
When I’d first watched through Revolutionary Girl Utena, Miki Kaoru was initially one of the characters I had the hardest time figuring out. Unlike the other poisoned sibling relationships in the show, Miki and Kozue’s didn’t really make much sense to me. I couldn’t decide how I felt about the character, whether he was “better” somehow than Touga, Saionji, or Akio, or if he was “just as bad”. And of course. What the hell is with that damn stopwatch dude??* Looking at fan writings afterward just deepened the confusion. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on what’s going on with Miki. It’s only after much re-watching, and introspection, that I think I’ve figured out why I’m so conflicted about the character. I’d like to share why- and hopefully along the way I can at least show that Miki is more interesting than many give him credit for. Click the readmore if you please!
(And, to be clear, what is written below is a reading, a blend of evidence from the text, from the subtext, and my own personal experience. I do not claim to be the first to interpret the character this way nor do I claim that this is the definitive read of the character. Nonetheless, I hope I can make my case to you!)
and, a big thank you to @empty-movement for collating all the high quality screengrabs and scans in this post!
Tumblr media
Fig 2: Rookie Princes
While I’m not the first to notice, I think it’s frequently overlooked just how similar Utena and Miki are in the first arc. It’s definitely something that flies over the heads of many first-time viewers. But Miki and Utena, are extremely alike! Of course, they are both motivated by an unattainable image of the past, and Miki’s early episodes codify the “sunlit garden” into the RGU symbolic environment. But it’s more than just this. Utena and Miki both treat Anthy in basically the same way. Utena has an easy time convincing Miki that the dueling game is objectifying nonsense. That the principled thing is to leave the whole exercise behind and treat Anthy like a person. It isn’t very hard for Miki to convince Utena to duel him for her hand either. They both view themselves as her personal protector, and (while maybe at different times), both project their imagination of what she must be thinking onto her. Utena does a bit more than Miki to try and figure Anthy out, but it doesn’t take much for her to get swept up in her own image of prince. In both their minds, Anthy needs them to save her. And, when Anthy looks them in the eyes, and tells them. I’m not yours. It destroys them. Freezes them in their tracks, breaks their hearts. Screaming, its a lie, you can’t mean that! Of course they get along so well! They see themselves in one another, plain as day. Little rival princelings, seeking the affections of the same princess, but always with chivalry and good intention.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Fig 3: Heartbreak
But I think there is more to it than that! Miki and Utena (and later Nanami) are some of the youngest duelists (at least, without a black rose anyway). And, they have fairly similar relationships to the other members of the student council. Juri acts as an older friend, mentor, and source of advice for both of them. Its not unlikely that she sees her younger self in the two of them, and while she does very directly take this out on Utena, its her sword that Utena takes to her second duel with Touga. Indeed, Touga manipulates Miki and Utena in unsubtle and sexually aggressive ways, as compared to how he might treat Saionji or Juri. And for both, its their relationship to gender that he directly attacks. He attempts to break Utena’s spirit by turning her “back into a normal girl”, and for Miki he seems to challenge his masculinity. And while this may seem as though the two of them are being shoved in opposite directions, in both cases, Touga hits them in the same place. “You’re a prince then? I don’t think so. Unless you prove it”. Touga isn’t the only one to question Miki’s ability or status. Utena and Juri both tell Miki. You are much more suited to playing piano than dueling. The main difference here is that they tell him this with genuine compassion, but the implication is the same. You aren’t suited to this prince thing. Give it up.
I don’t think it’s just the audience who is conflicted slotting in Miki with the other “men”.
Tumblr media
Fig 4: Strange Friends
Much ink has been spilled on Miki and Kozue’s relationship, but I do think there is one thing consistent across readings. There is a power struggle going on between them, and they’ve both got something to hold over the others head. Personally, I don’t believe there is any attraction between them. Rather, What’s Going On With Those Two is their mismatch in understanding their sexuality and the RGU concept of “Reality”, and the friction that creates in their image of themselves and one another. That reading may go as follows. Miki sees Kozue as acting dangerously and immorally. In his mind, she is his responsibility, to keep out of trouble at the very least. Perhaps he sees himself as needing to step in for their absent parents. So he sees himself as the mature and grounded one, a father figure needing to keep the both of them on the straight and narrow. Kozue on the other hand, sees Miki as being essentially blind to Reality (with a capital R). She believes he doesn’t have a good grasp of what sex is, or what adult relationships look like. She may believe that she understands what happened with their parents much better than Miki, and clearly sees that her brother is in danger with his creepy music teacher. So she sees herself as the mature and grounded one, needing to protect her brother both by warding off people who would take advantage of him and by getting him to grow up and see things as they Really are. Without their parents, they feel the need to take care of one another and control how the other approaches their sexuality. But in the end, it does seem that Kozue is the one who is better able to manipulate Miki’s behavior, helping Akio convince him to duel a second time. That Miki needs to grow up and accept what he wants. He sees a vision of Anthy, and he’s driving the akiomobile. And, with fearful realization, he discovers the identity of End of the World.
Tumblr media
Fig 5: Fear
So then. Why should Miki be so hung up about his sexuality? It clearly makes him very uncomfortable. And why does he compare the sister he had in the past onto the one he has in the present? What’s so special about that sunlit garden, anyway? What is Miki Kaoru’s shining thing?
Let me spin a yarn, if you'll indulge me-
As far as Miki remembers it, when he was little things were perfect. His parents were still there, and he and his twin sister were thick as thieves. They would play piano together, and drink milkshakes. Things were simple and happy as far as he’s concerned, and while his childhood was not nearly as rosy as he remembers, it was certainly better than whatever he has to deal with now. Now his parents are gone for reasons he doesn’t quite understand, and his sister has drifted away from him and acts promiscuously. His body is starting to change, and it fills him with disgust. Worse still, he finds himself envying his sister for some reason. It all floods him with shame. He needs to fight those feeling with everything he has. Being very clever for his age, he finds himself the youngest member of the student council. He becomes involved with the dueling game as it is revealed to him, and goes along with it, not wanting to act out of place. He gets a crush on Anthy, and is unable to figure out what the hell he should do about it. Later, he meets Utena, and the two become fast friends. And how lucky, his new friend is roommates with his crush! She’s just so perfect. She’s kind, and quiet, and chaste, not at all like his sister. He feels a kinship with her. And in an act of cosmic fate- she plays for him his favorite childhood arrangement. It’s just as Touga says. He can’t let the world get to her, the way its getting to his sister. The way its getting to him. He needs to make sure that Anthy, and his memories, are safe. But alas- it seems she doesn’t feel the same way. She’d rather be with Utena. Hopefully, Utena can protect her where he cannot. Miki and Utena go back to being friends, and he nurses his hurt feelings privately. It wouldn't do to make a scene about it, and besides, it wasn’t appropriate for him to think of her like that anyway. Thinking about anyone like that. He can’t help but feel disgusted with himself for allowing it. Later, his relationship with his sister continues to deteriorate, and his father is remarrying. But he can stick by his principles, and stay out of it all, the dueling especially. Kozue, Touga, and Akio have other plans. He is confronted with Reality, and it terrifies him. He sees himself in the drivers seat, Anthy his. This is what he is now, no point in trying to hide from it. He challenges Utena again, taking an early advantage utilizing his new resolve and Utena’s confusion. But that resolves breaks quickly. What is Kozue doing with Anthy?
Pay attention, or you’ll lose.
Tumblr media
Fig 6: Crash!!
Miki is disgusted with himself, his role, because he does not want it. He hates what’s happening to himself and his family. He admires Utena and Juri, for embodying his ideal self. He listens to Touga, puts up with his music teacher, even if they make him feel gross and uncomfortable, because he feels he has to and that he doesn’t have a choice. He idolizes Anthy, so much. He is attracted to her, but maybe there is something more. Maybe, Miki wishes he could be her. Miki, in my mind, is a closeted trans lesbian going through puberty as a boy. I think that part of this might be projection, perhaps. But I hope that I might have made my case using the text of the show. But even if you disagree, I hope that you might have a better appreciation for his character. I think he’s fairly consistently people’s least favorite council member as a character, but honestly he’s my favorite and I think there’s a lot more too him than a lot of people give him credit for.
Tumblr media
Fig 7: Three Lesbians Hanging Out
… this all being said. I think it’s interesting that Miki thinks Anthy is the picture of femininity right? That this is what he wants.
In the end, all girls are like the rose bride.
Please wait patiently while I make the case, that while Miki is an egg. Anthy has long since hatched...
(And I do mean be patient! This subject, and the concept that Ohtori represents a transmisogynystic institution at its very core, is WAY more personal than this headcanon, and also is much more of a difficult thing to write for dozens of reasons. I'm still not 100% sure it would even be right of me to post my thoughts on that publicly. But if enough people are interested, maybe that would motivate me to write it!)
*What’s a good Miki essay without some sort of Stopwatch Theory tm? Well (and I freely admit much of this is probably projection, but it’s not just me projecting! It’s also my girlfriend!!), Miki seems to get very wrapped up in his own thoughts. He is very self conscious, takes the criticisms of others very seriously, and also seems to get ideas about How Things Are Going To Happen in his head. He desperately tries to make sense of his surroundings, and finds himself consistently failing to do that. So my guess is the stopwatch is a way for him to regulate and calibrate his thoughts and hypotheses and self image. He picked it up in his duty as council secretary, but its something he feels is significant outside of that. Aha moment? Click. Unexpected end to a council meeting? Click. Something go completely as expected? Click. It helps him process I think. That is my formal Stopwatch Hypothesis tm.
Tumblr media
Supplement Fig 1: Stopwatch
375 notes · View notes
taffywabbit · 1 year ago
Note
How do I know if I'm Trans?
uhhh hard to say, it varies for everyone i think. but i WILL say that if it's something you're wondering about already, then it may be worth exploring those thoughts further and trying to figure out what parts of your identity, personality, experiences, etc might be prompting that question.
i've heard it said before that most people who are 100% cis do not typically spend time questioning their gender identity beyond what was already assigned to them, and that sounds pretty correct to me... but worst case scenario you try experimenting with how you present yourself for a little bit and consider how you feel about it and come out the other side feeling more confident in the gender identity you started out with. so it's worth a shot i say! maybe test out how you'd feel if a few trusted friends use different pronouns for you, consider dressing a little differently or accessorizing or playing around with your voice or whatever, and just see what happens! you don't have to commit to anything, there are no rules with this stuff :)
417 notes · View notes
hannieehaee · 8 months ago
Note
Svt w an older s/o?
them having an older s/o
content: established relationship, fluff, reader is older than the member, mention of milfs, etc.
wc: 814
a/n: thank u for requesting!! hope u enjoy <3
masterlist
seungcheol -
he'd feel a little intimidated by you, feeling like maybe his ideal role as 'the dependable boyfriend' was being threatened by the simple fact that you were a few years older than him. however, as long as you let him take care of you in every way he'd wanna take care of an s/o, he would not mind an age gap at all.
jeonghan -
even though i dont think he'd be against having an older s/o, he gives me the vibe that maybe he'd prefer someone younger (?) he seems to like babying people, BUT if you were to be older and still allow him to take that nurturing and caretaking role in the relationship then he would not care about any age difference.
joshua -
man does he love himself a milf. okay, but seriously, i dont think he'd care whether or not you were older than him. he would actually enjoy knowing you were older and had already gone through life experiences he was yet to reach himself. he'd treat you like anyone his age, but would feel reassured knowing he could lean on you a little more.
jun -
his overly youthful and sometimes kiddish (/pos!!) personality would be perfectly balanced out by someone older and maybe more mature. other than that, i dont think he'd really feel any type of way about his s/o being older than him. he'd simply think that a good match is a good match and that was that.
soonyoung -
could not care less for your age. he probably didnt even ask for your age until your birthday approached. it'd likely make him excited actually. just something about dating someone a bit more experienced than him would keep him interested and on his toes. would tease you about it sometimes, though (even if you had a very small age difference).
wonwoo -
he'd find it really easy to get along with you. he'd enjoy the change of pace whenever he was around you – unlike when he was surrounded by his 20 (give or take) year old friends. due to you being older (and him nearing his 30's), he'd be a little quicker to wanting to settle down with you.
jihoon -
i think he would enjoy being with someone older since to him age may imply wisdom. he's very mature for his age and has always had to bare the responsibility of seventeen's success, which has probably made him age ten extra years ahead of time. he would easily meet your maturity level and be eye to eye with you in that aspect.
seokmin -
can't help but be reminded of yewon noona lmao. just based off that i assume seokmin might be into (or might just be indifferent) having an older s/o. seokmin has too much love and pureness in his heart to ever consider age to be a factor to consider when falling in love. however, due to his youthful personality, it wouldn't surprise me if he was into someone with a bit more life experience.
mingyu -
gives me vibes that he'd be into milfs. idk he's just so handsome and charming and outgoing that i think older women probably fall for him super easily. regardless of gender i think that if mingyu was into someone older than him he'd just go for it. he's mature and old enough to appreciate a relationship despite of age.
minghao -
oh you're older than him? cool. would not even consider it a decisive factor when it comes to looking for an s/o. to him, love was love, which meant that your age didnt matter much to him. it'd actually be nice to date someone who had more life experience than him. he'd seek wisdom from you whenever he felt like he needed it, hoping to learn from you while also sharing some of his own.
seungkwan -
previous evidence (him being bffs with everyone in the industry regardless of age) convinces me that he has a really easy time charming people who are older than him. it'd make him feel good to know that his his youthful charisma could get anyone to fall for him.
vernon -
another member who would not care nor consider your age. would probably even forget about it after being told your age. were you older? cool. were you slightly younger? equally as cool. has no preference nor defined opinion as to whether he prefers a younger or older s/o.
chan -
he's probably already used to being surrounded by people older than him, not only with being the maknae to such a large group but also due to being surrounded by staff members and other idols who were likely also a bit older than him. he'd enjoy the sense of calm an older s/o would bring him. there would be familiarity that he would feel in the dynamic between the two of you.
218 notes · View notes
b0njourbeach · 30 days ago
Text
NRC LGBTQIA+ HCs
Those are only my thoughts and you can agree with them but you don't have to. We are all different and have our own visions. I'm quite willing to discuss or explain my visions - If you're being polite enough, I've got no time for drama. I will use He/Him for everyone - no matter what I have as a HC - because of the canon and it might be confusing for others (I, for one, often have to take a "Wait, why she?"-moment until I realize it's a HC.)
Tumblr media
Riddle Rosehearts
He waits for the "right woman" that would "please his mothers wish". After meeting the students in NRC, especially Cater, he is curious and questioning his previous thought about being Cis/Het. Might find interest in all pronouns. I could also see him having to be more feminine because his mother wanted a girl (which could imply him having trouble with gender as a whole).
Ace Trappola
I think it's canon that he's not too fond of romantic love, so I do believe he'd be most comfortable seeing himslf as aromantic. As for the rest: He's your average cis male teenager who makes too many dick jokes for his lack of experience (but would consider himself as allosexual). Will throw hands and sees it as an insult if you call him a girl tho.
Deuce Spade
Like Mother, like son - Both Spades are bisexual in my eyes. Deuce used to be homophobic in his delinquent times but changed for the better (and realized that he disliked the idea of gay people because they "always look so happy"). Had multiple "What if"s regarding his gender (Including asking Mama Spade to treat him like her daughter for a bit, so Deuce could get a feeling for it) but it felt too weird, so he still identifies himself with his assigned gender (male) at birth - But doesn't mind it if people use they/them for him. Would be your average nervous Teenager when it comes to showing affection in any way and will blush brightly at the topic of naughty stuff.
Trey Clover
Didn't give it much thought ("If I like a person, I like them" type of mindset but had no particular romantic feelings before) before entering NRC - Where he had his first guy crush which rocked his world a little. Constantly questioning "Am I gay, bi or pan?", but his first and only crush doesn't really help and is actually the reason for his questioning in the first place. Hasn't come out at all and doesn't plan on it because he grew up that the genders of people in a relationship doesn't matter and his parents would support him as long as he's happy. "I was born as a guy, so I'm a guy, I guess. I don't really care if you use she/her for me. It'll be just a bit confusing for me at first" type of guy. After one of the night talks with Cater, he got curious about poly-relationships.
Cater Diamond
Many thoughts on his guy, many possibilities but this one story I have planned made me like the idea of trans-male Cater a lot (Mainly He/Him but doesn't mind They/Them). Funnily enough, I can also see Cater as genderfluid slaying person - That's what I mean when I say there's a lot of potential. Has too many trust and commitment issues to think of any type of relationship but he's still a bisexual king. If I had to describe a bisexual, it would be him. Wouldn't say no to a potential poly-relationship but is also intimidated by the idea because of his mental issues. Sees a lot of benefits in poly-relationships. I wouldn't be surprised if he had hooked up with someone before. Despite it all, he flirts as if his life depends on it (Which is, at least in jp, somewhat canon).
Tumblr media
Leona Kingscholar
"I'm a guy" ahh male (in an unbothered way, not the toxic way. He's surprised if someone asks for his pronouns but respects the person just a tiny bit more for caring enough to ask in the first place). While I do believe it is hard for him to actually love someone to begin with, I'm convinced of Omniromantic and -sexual Leona.
Ruggie Bucchi
"My gender is whatever gets the job done." Based on irl hyenas, it isn't impossible for Ruggie to not be AMAB (The genitalia of a female hyena are very similar to those of a male. It led on multiple occasions to zoos attempting to breed two male hyenas). So if a job requires him to dress in drag and dance the hoola, Ruggie will do so. In theory bisexual but is too busy for actual relationships. Would absolutely come up with the wildest neopronuns to piss off Karens though.
Jack Howl
He definitely questioned himself as a young pup, especially after meeting Vil because he thought he might have a crush on him but he was proven wrong later on. Definitely one of the few straight guys in NRC. The more genderqueer people he meets, the more worried he gets about peoples pronouns because he used to be the type to look at a person and guess based on whatever vibes they give off. Now he doesn't know which pronouns to use, so he often uses they/them unless told otherwise (Has a non-verbal pact with Deuce to let each other know what kind of pronouns people have - if the other person knows).
Tumblr media
Azul Ashengrotto
I'm making this based on irl male octopi and their nature of dying after having sex for the first and only time: So with that in mind, I do believe that Azul wouldn't want to be sexually active at all (That and his insecuities aboout his body would probably stop him too). I definitely picture him as a helpless romantic once he does fall for a person, though (demiromantic maybe?). Definitely ne for the males, both his gender and his potential partner. He has absolutely questioned his gender and maybe even secretly owns a floor-length dress he wears in his room when his mind wanders off to question potential genders again.
Jade Leech
I will never not talk about AroAce Jade. I could write an essay about AroAce Jade but I won't. Just yes. Could potentially be bi-gender though. Likes to mess with people "You think I'm a guy? Is this not a little too narrow minded? ... What? Oh no, I'm not a woman."
Floyd Leech
Raging homosexual. His type? "If he can rock my bottom, I'm vibing", but his potential boyfriend needs to be able to keep up with his nature. Only his boyfriend sees a rare soft and sweet side from time to time, trust. (I've seen people have the HC of Floyd being a She/Her lesbian and I personally can only see it if we're talking about genderbend Floyd but I'm not here to comment on other people's HCs. I just wanted to mention my sight on genderbend Floyd too). Is a He/Him guy but wore dresses and skirts before but only very wide ones or the type that have a deep cut in it - For free legs (It's canon that he doesn't like tight clothes, so I'm working this into the HC.)
Tumblr media
Kalim Al-Asim
"I'm a guy but I can be your big sister too, if you want to haha!" Would absolutely dress feminine if he feels like it. Likes to dance in very fancy and wide dresses and skirts because they look pretty when you do a twirl. Also very pansexual, just wants to love.
Jamil Viper
Is used to dress up feminine because Najma makes him wear her clothes sometimes, so she can see if it looks any good. Much like Ruggie, doesn't care about gender as long as it gets the job done and has been often enough addressed as a girl (Especially if the person saw Jamil only from behind) to stop caring about pronouns. Has many reasons not to want to be in a relationship but swings both ways in theory.
Tumblr media
Vil Schoenheit
Gender? "Yes." Did you expect anything less than all genders for THE Vil Schoenheit? Come on now. Extremely demisexual and -romantic. Clothes have no gender (his canon statement, Book 5), so he has worn all types of clothes with confidence and comfort.
Rook Hunt
Lithromantic (Basically: Attraction exists until the target of your affection likes you back). Gender doesn't matter for a partner or Rook, but "it/its" pronouns are extremely interesting to the Hunter.
Epel Felmier
Homophobic, both internal and external. "I'm a man!" but in the toxic way. I see trans-male Epel HCs (and justify his dislike of "girly" things with that) a lot and I really like them as well but the idea of this toxic cis-het white guy Epel is much more entertaining to me - Let this guy be annoying for the sake of being annoying, not everything needs an emotional reason :> He's a little fruit tho even if he denies it (I mean, he's in Pomefiore for a reason /hj).
Tumblr media
Idia Shroud
"I don't do love, I don't do sex, I don't do gender. Do not perceive me." Tbh I dont have any particular HCs for Idia, I just go with whatever I see in media, if it works out with my interpretation of Idia ofc. I don't believe that Idia would be quick to love though (especially after Eliza).
Ortho Shroud
Again, I don't have many HCs on my own but I've seen both trans-male and trans-female Ortho HCs and I like 'em both.
Tumblr media
Malleus Draconia
Knows he needs to bring up an heir eventually but hasn't found the right person yet. Isn't exactly sure about his own sexuality but is certain he'll know once he finds "the right person". Is a little confused by "new" genders, so he just settles with the classic He/Him for himself - Tries his best to respect Neopronouns and trans folk. Will ask a lot of questions if you come out to him as anything that is not your assigned gender - Both out of curiosity and because he doesn't want to mess up. Has been raised to be supportive through Lilia.
Lilia Vanrouge
Man, Woman, prefer not to say, Other, Croissant - It's all Lilias. You're a Non-Binary person? Lilia absorbs whatever your assigned gender at birth was. You're trans? Lilia will trade your assigned gender with whatever you identify as. It's also pretty much canon that he's bisexual, so there's that - I'm pretty sure he hesitates about relationships due to his previous experiences with Meleanor and Raverne. Has definitely made out with Baul when they were younger.
Silver
When you ask Silver what he likes, he'll tell you about his sword (the object, not a naughty reference to his genitalia). If you'll correct yourself and mean as in a person, he'll tell you that he doesn't care what the gender of his opponent in a battle is - He just hopes they'll good enough to help him learn how to improve his skills. In short: His duties and interests matter to Silver much more than something like love or sexual intercourse. (Same applies if you ask about his own gender: "I'm.. a guy? But I don't see where this matters right now.")
Sebek Zigvolt
Used to be a raging homophobe until Lilia sat him down and had a looong talk with him. "I'm not queer", proceeds to explain how overrated the concept of love is and how his duties should never be interrupted by something as trivial as romantic relationships (He doesn't get that this mindset has a lot of AroAce weight in it - which means he's queer). He's overall a little confused, but he's got the spirit. Will correct people very loudly if they misgender his friends or close ones. Will also regularly ask Lilia in the morning what kind of pronoun-day is (Lilia has considered to wear different colored bracelets, so Sebek doesn't have to ask every morning.)
87 notes · View notes
chaos-in-deepspace · 2 months ago
Text
LADS Zayne: Shades of Jade | NSFW
Okay so I legit wrote this weeks ago but I never got around to fully editing it, and at this rate I never would. Had @zayne-li check for typos so here we go. No crazy fic edits but I mean...I think it's still good without it. Anyway, this is the pegging Shifu fic.
Tumblr media
❧ Pairings: Zayne x Reader ❧ Warnings: Pegging, Bottom Zayne, Top Reader, Gender Neutral Terms, AFAB Reader, Oral Sex (M Receiving), Anal Fingering ❧ Synopsis: You adored Zayne so much, and while intimacy was still new to you, there was something you were dying to try on him. Something you had found out when you had gone out to town and talked with some of the ladies there. So you worked hard on a piece of jade you found, too embarrassed to ask a craftsman to make it for you. Your only hope was that Shifu would be willing to let you try it on him. ❧ Word Count: 7.5k
Tumblr media
Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.
Tumblr media
Blog Information | Masterlist
Tumblr media
Zayne
Shade of Jade
Living alongside Shifu…Zayne had been a different experience. It was a simple routine you guys had fallen into after almost two years in the mountains. You knew him, knew his reactions, and you thrived off of it. You loved the man so much that sometimes it physically hurt. 
Routines, though, could sometimes get dull. It’s why you found yourself finding new hobbies whenever you could. Zayne had mentioned two months back that he had seen some jade in the nearby lake, which meant you had spent an entire week there. Ankle deep and searching for some jade. While you had procured a fair bit of jade, the piece you had found near the end of your hunt had been something else.
Even Zayne had been impressed when he saw the large chunk of jade in your arms. The length of it was almost the size of your entire forearm. At first, you debated going into town and seeing if the local jade carver could make something out of it, but then an idea popped into your head. It wasn’t anything terrible, but you had plans and couldn’t find it in you to ask someone else to carve it.
It led to you at least seeking out the artisan in town and asking for a rundown. It had been a little old lady who had taken up the mantle after her husband had passed away. The woman had been more than happy to help you out, especially after admitting it was a present for your lover. So, you practiced on a few of the smaller pieces you found until you had enough confidence to make what you needed.
You had spent literal weeks on end with the project, smoothing things out and focusing on its details. Anytime Zayne was out working on charms, you were in the back with your project. He had only asked you about it once, and after telling him it was a surprise, he had let it go.
Sadly, you couldn’t make absolutely everything you needed from scratch. You had gone ahead and asked a leather maker to create some items as well, but you planned on assembling it yourself. The last thing you wanted was to be the talk of the town, for everyone to know exactly what you were working on.
You swore today would be the final day. You were so close to being done with the jade piece. The harness was finished as well, tucked away in a safe location for the time being. A homemade jar of boiled red seaweed was under the sink at the house, hidden away from Zayne’s eyes.
You could hear his footsteps as he approached you, and you hid the item underneath a blanket you kept on your lap, “Are you still working on that?” Zayne’s voice broke through as he leaned down over you. He knew whatever you were making was with jade, so you didn’t have to bother hiding the tools, at least.
“It’s a very…big project, mister,” You said while reaching up to pinch his cheeks, “However, it’s almost done. I should have it finished by late this evening.”
You felt his lips against your cheek as he gave you a small peck, “Then should I prepare myself to receive it later today?” he asked, pressing another kiss to your cheek. You giggled as you looked up at him, taking his face between your hands and dragging him down for a kiss.
“Yes, sir,” You finally said, and you could see his shoulders sagging in relief. He had been curious, of course, but knew better than to pry when it was something this important to you. Still, he had to stop himself many times from looking into it, finding out exactly what you had been spending weeks doing.
Zayne took your hand, now marred in shallow cuts, and brought them to his lips to kiss them, “I think I’ll be most excited that you’ll no longer be hurting yourself on my behalf,” he said, not letting go of your hand.
“It’s just part of carving jade; it’s fine. It’s not like they’re serious, and I haven’t nicked myself in almost two weeks. Look, they’re basically healed over now.” You said, and he let out a sigh.
“I suppose you’re right. I’ll be out-. “
“By the sacred tree, making charms, I know,” you had finished his sentence for him. He gave you a small smile before walking away, his robes flowing gently as he left you. You let out a small sigh as soon as he was gone and took out the object once more.
You just wanted to define one of the grooves near the bottom of the shaft. You had managed to turn a large chunk of jade into a toy, careful with how you carved it so you’d be able to fit it into your leather harness. It was only about five inches in length, which was plenty for what you wanted to use it for. Your hand went over its blunt tip.
You had done your best to make it look like a dick but did deviate to make some grooves and to accommodate the original shape of the jade. The very tip of it was curved, and depending on how you put it in the harness, it would be either up or down. 
The idea itself had come to you almost the moment you had looked at the raw chunk of jade. You read up on male anatomy, and after finding out about the prostate and males having sex with one another, you wanted to be the one to fuck Zayne. You had no idea how he would receive the request, though. It was taboo, and you hadn’t really heard a lot of others talk about it before. You guys were still getting used to casual sexual intimacy, after all.
When you first slept with Zayne, it was the first time either of you had done anything like it. Ever since then, you were in a constant state of wanting to jump the man, to feel him inside of you. Oftentimes, he’d be doing most of the work, so you wanted to return the favor.
It took another hour before the final touches were done. The smooth jade didn’t have any harsh edges that might hurt Zayne, and it looked perfect. You searched around, pulled out the leather harness you had assembled, and slotted it inside. It fit perfectly, which you had hoped. It was literally made for it, after all.
You took the jade out of the harness and placed it in a small satchel. You then undid your robes after looking around to make sure Zayne wasn’t nearby, then began fastening the harness around your hips. You made sure it was snug around your hips and thighs, not able to move much.
The final step was going into the kitchen and finding the lubricant you had made. The sweet old jade lady had taught you how to make it after you had casually asked her. She had an almost knowing look in her eyes when she explained how to make it from the red seaweed that could be purchased in town. You had the oddest feeling that she knew what you were up to, but you had done your best to remain calm and neutral about the situation.
You looked over the small jar, then placed it into the satchel as well. You secured it together and checked to make sure your robes covered the harness. You opted to just wear the first layer of clothing, knowing that the current weather outside wouldn’t be too cold at this time of year. The less you had to take off, the better. After all, you’d have to disrobe Zayne, which in itself was going to be difficult. The god wore far too many layers.
You left the sanctuary of your home and made your way outside. The sacred tree was right there, and you could see Zayne sitting at the table outside, working on the charms just like he said he would. Your strides were fast as you quickly closed the distance between you two.
Zayne didn’t even look up; instead, he focused on his brush strokes as he spoke. “Have you finished your project?” he asked as you looked down at his hands. They were always so elegant, and you wondered how he never got the ink over the white of his gloves. You assumed centuries of doing calligraphy would make it easier not to make mistakes.
“I did,” you said while placing the satchel on the table. He finished what he was doing and put the charm to the side with the growing pile of them. He looked at the satchel curiously, then back up at you.
“It looks larger than I expected,” He admitted to you, causing you to smirk. You wondered if he even knew what he was talking about as your head went to the gutter for a second.
“How about we clean some of this up before you open it, hm?” you asked as you went to take the dried charms. He had a large box next to him on the ground, where he’d put the slips of paper after they were finished.
Zayne helped you as he delicately picked up the still-wet pieces, careful not to allow any smudges, “Will you be helping me make these later? It’s been a while since we were last able to make charms side by side; I can’t lie and say I haven’t missed it.” His words were sweet, and you blushed a bit.
“We can tomorrow. I think we’re going to be a bit preoccupied tonight.” You said as the table was finally cleared. Zayne was now looking at you with confusion. The sun wouldn’t be setting for another two hours, and he doubted opening a present would take that much time.
“If you say so,” He went to gingerly take the bag, but you stopped him quickly and cleared your throat.
“Um, a little bit of context for this present…I wanted to try something new with you if that’s alright.” You finally got out, and you could see the cogs in his head turning. He blinked owlishly, trying to understand exactly what you were implying, “I want to try something new with…sex,” you clarified.
His mouth opened in a small ‘o’, “So you made something for that?” while Zayne wasn’t terribly well versed in a lot of things humans did in the bedroom, he did know about toys. You had, after all, explained it to him a few times. You even used a rope at one point, but you guys hadn’t tried anything too out there yet.
He finally went and opened the gift, his hands carefully pulling out the well-made jade dildo. He turned it in his hands, fingers running over the edges for a moment as he admired your handiwork. “You made this yourself.” There was no judgment there; if anything, you could hear a little bit of pride in his tone.
“Ya, I didn’t exactly know how to ask a little old lady to…make a phallic object like this.” You admitted to him, and his eyes sparkled with a sense of amusement.
“You did a wonderful job,” he complimented, as though he weren’t holding an artificial dick and instead held something fancy like an accessory. Well, in a sense, it was going to be an accessory for you to wear.
You watched as he then placed the item onto the table, and pulled out the jar of lube next. He turned that in his hand as well before uncapping in. He could see the liquid inside and smelled it. It was familiar to him, and he could hazard a guess as to what it was.
“So, did you want me to use these objects on you?” He wasn’t sure why you’d want to use a toy. It was very well made, but you didn’t need one. He had told you in the past that he would always be available if you had urges. He wouldn’t lie and say his thoughts on you were always pure, either. He was almost a little…resentful that you’d prefer using a toy rather than himself.
“Well, actually, I wanted to use it…on you.” You finally said, waiting to see his reaction. His eyes snapped open, then looked over towards the toy, then back at you. It was like something finally clicked in his head, and you could see how the tips of his ears were now a bright red tone.
“Why would you…I mean,” he didn’t even know how to respond to that. The thought of an object going inside of him was certainly something he hadn’t even entertained the possibility of.
“So I mean, I’ve read up on some scrolls. And while it’s frowned upon for men to be with one another, there’s still a lot of…if you know how to find it…writings on it.” You admitted. You had at one point been speaking to a few ladies at the local bathhouse, and one of them had mentioned it before. After getting to know the group they had…let you read a few scrolls of men making love to one another. They always seemed to really enjoy it, and while you didn’t have a dick yourself, you figured making one would be fine.
“You won’t be able to feel anything though. Is the way we do it currently not to your liking?” he almost seemed upset when he posed this question.
You walked up to him and cupped his cheeks, “Don’t ever think I don’t enjoy being with you. I love the feeling of you, the connection, the intimacy. I love everything about it. I just wanted to be the one giving this time around. It should feel good.” You said, “And I have a good idea as to what needs to be done, so it does feel nice.”
Zayne seemed to think about it before nodding, “Could you explain then? I think I’d like to have a good idea as to what exactly you’d like to do.” He said, and you felt your shoulders sag. He seemed a little more open to the idea now, and you nodded.
“Well I made some lubricant to help coat the toy and…your entrance,” Zayne seemed to flush and avoid eye contact at that bit, “As long as I properly stretch you open with my fingers first, it should just…slide in without much issue. You’ll have to relax first…then there’s the uh…cleaning that would need to be done to avoid…” you didn’t exactly know how to word the next part. Zayne seemed to have gotten the hint, however, with how he nodded.
“That…shouldn’t be an issue. I’m not a human, so…” he said, and now it was your turn to flush. Not what you had been expecting, but it was better. You had read up on cleaning methods, and while you would be there to support your partner, you’d doubt he’d want you there for it.
“Well then…that makes things easier. So…would you be okay with me making love to you?” you finally said. His breath caught in his throat at the way you phrased it.
He finally nodded and gave you a small smile, albeit a little embarrassed, “If you’d truly like to, I’d be willing to try at least once. Besides, it would be a shame if the jade implement you created wasn’t ever used. I know how hard you worked on it.” He said, and you let out a happy noise from the back of your throat.
“Alright, then, let’s prepare you,” you said as you stepped closer. Your hands were placed carefully on either side of him as he found himself caged between you and the table behind him.
“You’d like to do this here?” he said, and you nodded. You cupped the back of his neck as you dragged him down to your level. Your lips ghosted over one another as you breathed in one another’s air.
“It’s not like we haven’t done things in nature before. Nobody can find this place, after all. It’s just the two of us right now.” You said before leaning up to kiss him. Zayne always melted into your lips the moment they were on his. Closing his eyes and just enjoying the feel of you. His hands went to your waist, dragging you closer to his body as your lips melded together.
He let out a small moan as you bit his bottom lip, getting access to his mouth as your tongue pressed against his own. He let you guide the kiss this time, shivering when he felt one of your hands on his hip. It rested there for a moment before it began traveling to the front. You moved your body slightly away from his own so you’d have a better angle to work with.
Your hand went to cup him through the layers of clothing he had. Despite all the fabric, you could feel him. The faint warmth and the subtle twitch of his cock underneath his trousers. He groaned into the kiss, his hips moving on their own as your tongue went to the roof of his mouth. It was always so easy to rile him up; just from kissing and talking about sex, he was already rock hard.
Your mouth finally left his own as your lips attached to where his earlobe was, taking it between your lips and sucking it. He let out a gasp, feeling your hand moving from his crotch to his arms. Your fingers danced on his forearm until you found one of the clasps that held his gloves to his robe. With deft hands, you unclasped one of them and used your hand to trail down to his palm, playing there for a moment before taking his glove off.
You did the same with his other, taking it off with almost a practiced ease. This time, you took his hand in your own, squeezing it as you savored being able to feel his without anything in the way. The warmth seeping from his palm into your own had you let out a small moan. Your kisses had trailed to his jawline, sucking a small mark there as well.
Your hand slipped from his and went up to his front, working the clasps of his cloak off. “I know I’ve told you this before, but…” you trailed as you pushed off the bands around his shoulders, “Your outfit is really pretty, but it’s a nightmare to take off, especially when I want to see you naked beneath me.”
He let out a moan from your words, allowing you to work the cape off of him. It fell gracefully onto the ground, and he was left in his robes and pants, “Now do me a favor and remove your boots for me.”
Zayne lifted his leg up enough for him to work the clasps off his boots, all while watching as you undid the bottom of your robes and pushed them to the side. His eyes widened when he noticed the leather straps around you. He was now understanding what you meant when you said you wanted to make love to him. He had thought you’d be using the toy with your hands, not like this.
He swallowed the lump in his throat as he felt you come close to him again. Your lips were now able to attach to his neck as you peppered it in kisses. His hands went down to his pants, intent on taking those off as well, but you were already working on something else, your hands starting to undo the ties of his robe and letting the garment fall off his shoulders.
Your hands went down, playing with the hem of his pants before tugging them down his waist. With all the layers he wore, it was always shocking to you to find out he didn’t wear underwear. Not that you’d ever complain about such a thing. You watched as Zayne kicked away the pants around his ankles, leaving him bare from the waist down.
You didn’t hesitate in dropping down to your knees, your mouth pressing kisses to his inner thighs. He twitched the moment he felt the heat of your lips kissing him. He was always so bashful when you went down on him, assuring you it wasn’t necessary, but you loved it. Loved watching him crumble in front of you from how good it all felt. It was your favorite activity.
His cock was already leaking as you wrapped a hand around the shaft, giving it a few small pumps and watching as his eyes almost rolled back. You pushed down the foreskin and licked at the slit; a groan erupted from the back of Zayne’s throat as he looked down, watching your every move.
Zayne’s hands were fisting the edge of the table, his nails scraping it every so slightly as he focused on his breathing. He felt how you wrapped your mouth around the head, slowly sliding down on his length as you hummed at the taste. Oddly enough, you had found Zayne to be on the sweeter end of flavors. You had heard women discuss it before, talking about their partner being bitter and salty. While that held true, it wasn’t bad at all. You would often have him cum in your mouth and swallow it happily, never gagging from the taste.
You took your mouth off of him with a pop and began stroking him again, “Can you open that jar and hand it to me?” you asked, smirking once you saw him snap back to what was going on. He had been so zoned out while you worked on his dick that he almost didn’t hear you.
With slightly shaky hands, you watched him go and grab the tub of lube. He opened the jar and held it out for you to dip your fingers inside of it. The substance was slippery and a bit more on the watery end of the spectrum. It would certainly work with what you had planned, though, as you adjusted your position between his legs.
Your finger came up, prodding at his entrance, and you could feel how he tensed up. He let out another groan as he looked down at you with hesitant eyes. Even as you prodded, your finger wouldn’t slip in easily. He was so damn tight that, for a moment, you wondered if this would even work.
“You need to calm down, love,” you said, pressing a kiss to his thigh. You heard the little gasp leaving him as his legs opened up more for you.
“I’m trying, but it’s…different,” He didn’t know how to put it into words. He never thought about putting anything inside of him like this, so his entire body was being held taut. The tension in him not wanting to snap as all his muscles clenched up.
Your finger continued to circle his entrance before realizing it wouldn’t do you any good until you managed to calm him down some. A distraction of some kind was certainly needed at the moment, and you trailed your eyes over to the table and spotted something that could be used.
“My heart, can you hand me the calligraphy brush with a bit of ink?” you finally asked, pressing another kiss on the opposite side of his thigh. Zayne’s eyes followed your gaze and noticed what you were referring to, realizing that it hadn’t been taken off the table in your little moment of cleaning earlier.
“Might I ask…what for?” he said, not knowing what you had planned. You laughed in response as you bit down on his thigh. He grunted and bit down on his lower lip before going to grab you the item.
“It’s not for anything bad, I promise,” you assured him. As he handed you the brush, you leaned back. Your hand, still slick with lube, made it a little hard to hold, but it would be fine. It wasn’t like you were about to paint a piece of artwork on the man, after all.
Instead, you slowly took the brush over his thigh and drew a heart shape on it. Zayne shivered in response to the cool ink touching his skin, and he looked down at your little project. Next to the heart, you began drawing a small jasmine flower, and he sighed.
“What are you doing? Painting on my thighs?” he asked, not knowing why you were stopping like this. You chuckled as you began writing your name on his thigh next, deliberate with every brush stroke.
“I’m giving you a break,” you said as you finished writing your name, “You looked like you needed some time to calm down.”
You handed the brush back to him, and he couldn’t help himself. He ran the brush gently over your cheek, drawing some unknown design onto your face. You gave him a little smile as you kissed the drawings you had done, pressing right underneath them to not taint your mouth with the fresh ink.
“I thank you for your consideration,” he said as he placed the brush back where it belonged. In that moment, he felt your finger back against him, now pressing into his entrance. He let out a loud, surprised groan as your finger was finally able to slip inside of him.
Your mouth was back on his cock, sucking him down and licking at the veins that went up his shaft. Your finger slowly fucking into him the entire time as Zayne closed his eyes.
He wasn’t sure how he should feel or react. It didn’t feel particularly nice, and it was a strange, foreign sensation. It didn’t feel bad either, though, which confused him. Perhaps it was due to you sucking his dick at the same time that made him so confused with how this all felt. He just knew that he was finding himself enjoying the process.
He let out a long, drawn-out moan as he felt another finger slipping inside his entrance. You began scissoring your fingers, intent on stretching him out as much as you could. He was grunting, letting out small moans, and even a whine managed to escape him as you worked him.
Your free hand went to grab onto his thigh, smearing a bit of your handiwork and leaving a hand-print. Zayne’s hand went to thread into your hair, pushing it out of your way as you began hollowing your cheeks out. You hummed around his shaft, feeling how his fingernails were gently scraping against your head. Your eyes were closed as you focused on the task at hand.
More of his pre cum began sliding down your throat, and you could feel his dick twitching. He was already so close, but you wanted him to cum from the strap. You didn’t want to tire him out so quickly, so you slowly withdrew your mouth and fingers from him. He had loosened up a decent amount from all the stimulation you had been giving him, and you were pretty sure he’d be able to take your cock now.
Zayne held back a whine after you left him; instead, your mouth now pressed sloppy, wet kisses to his thighs as you allowed him to calm down. You slowly rose back up until you were able to drag him down for another quick kiss. He moaned when he could taste himself on your lips, his tongue darting out to lick at you.
You couldn’t deny him anything, allowing him to explore your mouth for a moment as he rolled his hips into your stomach, seeking something to help him feel good. When you parted, you leaned forward to suck at his Adam’s apple, watching as he whined before you spoke against his skin.
“Alright, baby boy, did you want me to lay you on your back against the table, or would you prefer to be standing and bent over, facing away from me?” you decided to give him the option. Both sounded good; you’d be able to watch his facial expressions if he was on his back. If he were bent over, it would be easier to watch the artificial dick sliding into his entrance.
“I’m…unsure,” he finally got out, his voice coming out a bit huskier right now, “Which position is easier for the first time?” he said the last part, quieter, hesitant in his wording.
“I’ve heard being bent over is a bit easier, but whatever you’re comfortable with,” you said, letting him get the final say in the situation.
He took another moment to debate before he nodded, “Alright, then that’s how we’ll do it,” he said, and you smiled. You kissed him again, this time chaste and kick. You then worked on moving the bottom of your robes out of the way as they had fallen in front of you again.
You grabbed the jade dildo from next to him and began working into the harness—the tiny o-ring allowed it to be secure against your pelvis so it wouldn’t be moving around. Zayne couldn’t help himself, now opting to stare at you with the phallic object strapped to you.
He couldn’t help the way his cock twitched at the sight, realizing he might like this more than he anticipated. You looked stunning like this, and he wanted more. He wanted to see more, to feel more; he wanted everything. Even if it was embarrassing to be so vulnerable, he knew you’d never judge him. You two always took things one step at a time, something he adored about you.
As soon as everything was secure, you looked at him, “Alright, turn around,” you instructed. Zayne took one final moment to admire you before doing what he was told. He turned around so he was facing the table, and before he could do anything, he felt your hand on his back, pushing him down so he was resting on his forearms. It wasn’t a position he ever thought he’d be in with you, and he was realizing how you must feel at times with how exposing this was.
He felt your foot nudging at his own, signaling for him to part his feet a little more. He adjusted accordingly, and then he felt your hands on his ass. You squeezed down on the plumpness of his butt for a moment, admiring how firm yet squishy it still was. You knew he had a nice ass, but it was always hidden by about ten layers of clothing, so you could never admire it. Now, you had every intention of watching it jiggle with every thrust of your hips.
He watched your hand reach next to him, dipping back into the already open jar of lube. You grabbed a decent amount this time, enough for some to slip between your fingers and onto the desk. While Zayne couldn’t see what you were doing, he could hear it. The wet squelching noises as you coated the fake cock in the slippery fluid to help it go into his ass without resistance. 
“Are you ready?” your voice broke the quiet of the moment. Zayne looked behind him to see you towering over him, one hand on the dildo and the other parting one of his cheeks so you’d have an easier time seeing it. His ears and cheeks were painted in a pretty, vibrant red hue.
“Yes,” it was all he could really think to say at that moment. He watched as your face turned into a gentle smile at his words.
“Alright, let me know if you need me to stop at any time. Just say the word jasmines, alright?” you said, and he nodded.
He took in a shaky breath, “Okay, just please…put it in already,” the longer he waited, the more time he had to second guess if this was what he really wanted.
You couldn’t help but chuckle at his words; you pressed the tip of the artificial dick against his entrance and watched as the tip managed to breach the tight ring of muscle. He let out a gasp, his body instinctively leaning away from the intrusion. 
You cooed, rubbing at his ass as you slid a little more into him. You could feel the resistance as he clamped down on it, not allowing you to push in any further, “Calm down, baby boy,” you said gently. You didn’t want it to sound like scolding, but you knew if he kept tensing up, then this wouldn’t be a fun experience for either of you.
He pressed his face into the sleeves of his robes, his shoulders bare from how it had slid down. He let out a slight nod in confirmation, too flustered to even look back at you. You watched as he took in a few shaky breaths, willing his body to relax for you. As soon as you felt the resistance faltering, you pushed more of the toy into him.
You heard him whine as you took a moment to pull out a bit and thrust in, getting a little bit deeper this time. His body jolted forward, and his legs parted a little more as he arched his back. He dared to look over at you, his lidded eyes staring you down as you repeated the motion.
It still felt odd to him, and without something touching his cock it wasn’t as good as before. He wondered if it would even be possible for him to get off like this. If he wasn’t going to cum, he would let you know. Perhaps ask if you could at least play with his body a bit so he could get released, then finish off by spreading your thighs around his face so he could repay the favor.
His inner musings were cut short; however, when he felt the rest slip inside of him. He suddenly felt so complete as he balled his fists up and closed his eyes. It was like nothing he had ever experienced before, and everything was almost too much for him to handle.
His hand reached behind him, grabbing onto your thigh in an almost bruising grasp. It was desperate and needy as he cleared his throat, “G-give me a moment,” he said through clenched teeth, “Need to ah-adjust,” he said. His heart felt like it was pounding right out of his chest in the moment.
“Alright, let me know when I can move,” you said, running your hands down his back. He shivered at the contact, but the touch was grounding for him. He was trying to focus on everything but the intense pressure building in his stomach and the fullness he currently felt.
It was…pleasant. To be stuffed like this was something he had never entertained, but now that he was experiencing it firsthand, he realized it wasn’t a bad sensation. It still wasn’t incredibly arousing, but it was something else. He felt a little sentimental, realizing that this was yet another first experience you two were sharing. Your first kiss, first time having sex, first time cuddling with someone to bed, everything with you was so new.
“So pretty…” you couldn’t help but admire as you waited. You weren’t in a rush, wanting him just to feel good. You were aiming for him to cum from the cock alone, and you were confident you could achieve it if you got the angle right, “So beautiful, all for my eyes and my eyes only,” you muttered, and Zayne let out a content sigh.
“I’m ready,” he finally got out, ready to allow you to properly begin fucking into him. With his consent, you slowly took the dick out until it was about halfway in there, then you rolled your hips back in. The little mewl he let out was like music to your ears as you repeated the motion.
Now that you were moving, it was starting to feel better for Zayne. It wasn’t uncomfortable with the stretch anymore, and he could feel the grooves of the implement scraping gently on his insides. It had him wanting to whimper, but instead, he opted to sink his teeth into the fabric of his robe’s sleeve. He could feel your pace begin to pick up, a steady rhythm coming from you.
Every thrust punched the air out of his lungs as he tried to focus on not making too many noises. If it were the usual moaning or grunting, it would be fine. Instead, he felt the tiny little wails threatening to escape his throat as he clenched his fists until his nails were digging into his palms.
“Zayne, I want to hear you,” you managed to get out, sliding one hand up to his hair. You knew he liked hair pulling; you had done it several times to him in the past. It was never too harsh, but you were tempted right in that moment. With the angle you had him in and how he was focusing on hiding all his pretty noises, damn, were you tempted.
Zayne made no move in extracting the sleeve from his mouth, still working on being silent as you fucked into his ass. You let out a small sigh, deciding just to try it out. He had the safe word if he felt uncomfortable with something you did, after all.
While your thrusting began picking up, the hand that was on his back was wrapped around the base of where his hair was tied. You let a few locks slip out until you were right under it, and then you tugged hard. He cried out as his head snapped back from the movement, a pitiful whimper escaping him.
His mouth now hung open as he let his moans out freely. He began adjusting his position, trying to get more comfortable now that you were holding onto his ponytail like this. His hands were flat against the table as his arms straightened up to help him up a touch.
“Good boy, just like that,” you managed to say between breaths, the constant movement of your hips as you angled the fake cock getting to you. You never realized how much of a workout this could be, but the sight of the jade dildo disappearing in his ass had you transfixed, as well as the loud moans and whines he was letting out.
Zayne’s breathing was coming out as pants now; he could feel that familiar coil building up. He had doubts he’d be able to cum like this, but now he was sure it was not only possible but inevitable. He was getting closer with every thrust of your hips as his cock began sliding against the table underneath him.
With the new position Zayne was in, you could angle your hips just right. You knew you finally found what you were looking for when he keened, the high-pitched noise mixing with the sounds of slapping.
“W-wait,” Zayne managed to get out. He hadn’t expected the feeling inside of him. Whatever you had managed to graze with the dick had done something to him. It felt so fucking good that he couldn’t even form a coherent thought as the tip of the dildo slammed right back into it.
His cock was drooling onto the table, leaving a small puddle underneath him. He wanted to hide his face, hide from you, but he couldn’t. The feeling of your hand still tugging at his ponytail kept his face upright, so he was looking up at the sky. The multi-colored light blurred in his vision as the sun started to set.
Zayne’s body now shook, and you had to release his ponytail to grab onto his hips and make sure he didn’t collapse in on himself. He was unsteady as his eyes went unfocused, “N-need a, feel mhm p-plea ah differ-ah haaaa,” he couldn’t even get the words out through the cloud of lust engulfing him. The thrusting left him breathless as you continued abusing that sweet spot inside of him.
You could see how his hands were clawing at the table underneath him, leaving physical marks of his pleasure on the wood. You were certain any time the man was working; he’d see those and get hard off the memory of what you did. You watched as drool began forming in the corner of his mouth, his face being just barely visible enough for you to see what was happening.
You then watch as his cheek is pressed against his arm, laying his upper body back down onto the table as he couldn’t hold himself up. It looked like he was going to try and say something, but the words were lost on his lips. Not that you needed him to speak; after all, his body’s reaction was enough to tell you what he wanted to say.
You watched his cock jump, painting the table in his cum. The pearly white substance smeared where his cock was, getting onto some of his robes as it joined the puddle of pre underneath him. He was utterly debauched at this moment, unable to form a coherent thought as you milked his prostate, getting an orgasm to roll off of him in waves.
It had been like nothing he experienced thus far. He knew that an orgasm felt amazing, but this time, it was like it had gone through his entire body and left his head feeling a bit fuzzy. You smiled as you continued holding him up, rolling your hips into his sweet spot gently until his dick stopped leaking.
There were tears in the corners of his eyes as he shook from exertion, the climax draining him and leaving him feeling completely boneless in the moment. The only thing he could think about was being held by you, to hear your voice gently coax him back to reality.
It was something you wanted as well, as you slowly pulled the fake cock out of him. He let out a pitiful whimper, almost missing the full feeling of your strap inside of him. He looked back at you with a hazy expression, not knowing if he needed to speak at the moment.
“You did so good, my love,” you said as you began working the straps off of your hips. You placed the now dirty toy off to the side, knowing you could clean it at a later date. You then looked around and grabbed the nearby chair. You dragged it over to you two and sat down on it, then spun your lover around and made him sit on your lap.
Despite his size, he was curling up into you. His face tucked into the crook of your neck as he nuzzled into you. He breathed in your scent and savored the moment of closeness. He could hear your voice whispering gentle praises to him as your hands were placed with his hair for a moment, before running down his hips and soothing them with your caress.
You pressed a kiss to his exposed shoulder, and it was enough to get him to come back to you finally. The haze in his eyes cleared up as he continued nuzzling into your neck, not wanting to leave just yet.
“I think…I’m better now,” his voice came out hoarse as he spoke to you. You stopped your kisses for a moment as you nudged him off your shoulder so you could look at him properly. Your hands cupped his face as you took in his appearance.
His cheeks and ears still held a flush, and his bangs messily stuck to his forehead. Unshed tears were still in his eyes, and you swiped your thumb over the corner of his mouth to clean up the wet mess from his drool.
“You’re so pretty,” you murmured, leaning forward to kiss him. He closed his eyes and basked in the moment with you, kissing you back lazily as your lips melded with his own. When you parted, you spoke up, “Are you feeling better now?”
He nodded his head, “Yes, a bit,” he said as he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against your own. You looked up at him, admiring every part you could see.
“We should head to the river soon, get you properly cleaned up…” Despite your words, neither of you made a move to get up and break the moment.
“Perhaps later; I’m unsure I can walk at the moment,” he sighed, “My legs are shaking still,” when you placed your hands over his thighs, you could feel the slight tremble.
“Take your time then; we’ll go when you’re ready,” you assured him, “I love you; I hope you know that,” 
He smiled as he opened his eyes, “I’m aware; I love you as well,” it was sappy, it was sweet, but honestly, it fits with how he was. Soft, gentle, and completely yours in whatever way you could have him.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
131 notes · View notes
anystalker707 · 1 year ago
Text
i could be your puppet
Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x [gender neutral] Reader Kinktober prompt: Objectifying/Using Tags: Oral / semi-public / Cums easily, poor boy !!!
KINKTOBER LIST MASTERLIST
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
          Zoro wasn’t aware of it when it started, only flustered and thinking he was imagining things whenever you did something, his face burnt hot as he looked away. When it clicked, things started taking a different turn, however. All the touches that he presumed to be innocent actually carried more behind them, and he didn’t really know how to act. It took over Zoro’s thoughts at night, taking away his sleep, as he bit on the collar of his shirt and tried his best to keep quiet while fisting his cock.
The two of you had hooked up a few times before, shared a bed during drunk party nights or when the crew had to stay at inns on the islands, so there was a closeness, but he thought that closeness was resumed to closed rooms and special occasions.
Zoro swallowed audibly, throat dry as you sat next to him at the dining table. Everyone was playing cards—he’d been invited to join, bribed by the sake, so he didn’t make the minimal effort against being the first one to lose just so that he could sit there enjoying the sake. That’d been until you sat there, of course. He didn’t think he could even sip the sake now.
“Usopp, you do not have an ace of cups, you fat ass liar!” You said to Usopp, making him gasp from across the table.
“How dare you doubt the great Captain Go D. Usopp?” And he started rambling immediately, saying he was the master at playing cards, with over 20 years of experience in each game. Yeah, the usual bullshit.
The table started to get more agitated once you placed your cards over the table. Zoro didn’t know what the cards were, aside from the fact the ace of cups was in fact with you. Honestly, he couldn’t think about anything while your hand held onto his thigh under the table like that. You gave it a squeeze while your voice grew a little louder at the attempt to talk over Luffy and Usopp altogether.
All that talk was just nonsense in the back of his mind, given the way your hand rested so close to his crotch like that. Your fingers soothed over the area, rubbing it and sometimes slipping towards his inner thigh. Meanwhile, you talked with everyone else as if nothing was happening. He wished he could curse you, standing up and leave, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted that to stop.
Zoro wouldn’t admit it openly—at least not so easily—, but he enjoyed that. He liked being yours to use whenever you felt like it, barely putting affection in your affections because you just wanted his body, eyeing him as if he were a large hunk of meat. It was pathetic, to be true, but maybe that’s what made it all even better.
“Guys!” Nami said as she walked back into the kitchen. “I fixed everything already. I even got someone to watch the ship, so no one needs to stay back. So, here are your lists and your share of money…” She handed off strips of paper along with some berries bills; yours just had some utility stuff for the ship, and peeking over, you could see that Zoro had some things in the same genre. “We are staying for the night, and the port is near the city, so we don’t have to worry about inns or anything.”
“What about me?” Luffy asked with a grin, eyeing from the list and money to Nami in an encouraging manner.
She narrowed her eyes. “You go with Usopp. Also, who’s—”
“I’ll babysit Zoro,” you said immediately. “We can’t afford to lose another day looking all over the island for him again.”
Zoro clicked his tongue immediately as the others muttered in agreement—he just cursed under his breath as he pretended to pay attention to the last orientations between the crew before you guys got ready to leave.
          Zoro was carrying all the stuff, of course. You just had a bag in hand, but it contained some different food you’d seen in a bakery earlier, so it didn’t count for anything other than making up the excuse you were helping Zoro. He just walked behind you, guaranteeing he was following you—he didn’t want to get lost and be away from you, not in one of the few alone moments he had with you.
“You know what we could use?” You cut through his thoughts, looking over your shoulder, making his gaze immediately shift from your ass to your face. “I mean, what I could use. I saw some clothing stores around here, and since we finished everything early, we should go there. I’m not leaving you alone nor going back just to leave you at the ship.”
“No, it’s okay,” Zoro said, trying not to sound too interested, looking away for a second.
You looked at Zoro for a moment, then smiled a little bit. Something about it made Zoro imagine you calling him a good boy; he quickly averted his gaze again, just following you to a clothing store.
The store was practically empty; a few workers were helping some other customers, but it wasn’t anything that crowded the place, leaving many areas monotonous and boring. A sales clerk had offered to help you around, only to be quickly dismissed.
You were gone for a while, leaving Zoro to sit near the changing rooms area with the bags by his feet and arms crossed over his chest. He knew you’d tried on a lot of clothes, but you’d only asked his opinion on a couple of ones—he tried not to stare when the clothes hugged your frame a little too perfectly, stretching the fabric across it in ways that left little room for imagination. On the other hand, he also saw you slip some pieces of clothing in the bags you guys already had. Did Nami give you some tips or something? Damn it.
After disappearing for a while, you came back with some shirts and pants. Zoro raised an eyebrow when you stood beside him instead of disappearing inside the changing room again.
“Try these on,” you said, and it didn’t sound like you were asking or suggesting something. “You basically only have a change of clothes, aside from the few others we got at Kaya’s. You need something new.”
Zoro wanted to argue, but you were his weak spot, shamefully. He sighed as he looked at the clothes. “Do we have money for that?”
“That’s between Nami and I,” you said simply, shoving the clothes into his arms. “Oh, and don’t forget to let me see how you look in those. I have a feeling you don’t even know how to shop for clothes.”
With a nod, Zoro finally brought himself up to his feet and walked into the changing room. He wasn’t used to it, so it felt very off. He made a face when seeing himself in the mirror and turned away from it while undressing and putting on the clothes you’d handed him, trying on the shirt and pants that’d attracted his attention the most.
When he tried adjusting the clothes on himself, his breath hitched in his throat. Was this on purpose? Were you doing that with him again? He couldn’t believe it… but he wasn’t all against it either. He had to take a couple of deep breaths before he finally left the dressing you.
You sat there, arm folded on the back of the seat, while your temple rested against your hand. Little interest was in your eyes when you looked him up and down—he gulped, not knowing whether he should look right back at you or avoid your gaze.
Zoro knew exactly where your eyes lingered. The shirt and the pants were probably a size down, so it made the buttons hold on for their dear life while the shirt hugged around his pecs, giving out their shape perfectly. The pants, on the other hand, made Zoro put some extra effort into not getting too excited.
“Try on the light jeans,” you told him, waving a hand in dismissal, and of course, he did as told.
The new pair of pants had you making a hand motion for Zoro to turn around. He did so slowly, letting you gaze at his ass as much as you wanted until he turned to the front again. Your eyes were on the bulge on his crotch and then on his thighs, taking in how thick they looked in those pants. The pants' waistline was also low, showing his happy trail and the v lines. Soon, you were eyeing his chest again. He kept taking mental notes of your favorite spots, though he already knew many of them.
You kept eyeing Zoro as if he were some eye candy, some juicy hunk of meat, and you were starving; you kept making him try on different clothes, none of which he’d take home, just for your own pleasure. He wished it’d bother him, but it was too good to argue with.
“Black shirt,” you’d suggested next.
Once Zoro slipped it in, however, he found a problem. He cleared his throat as he opened the changing room’s door just enough to peek outside. “...It won’t close.”
“Won’t close?” You raised an eyebrow. “It’s the same size as the others, it does close!”
“You see—” He cut himself off with a sigh once he saw you stand up and step closer. You got in the tight changing room with him, closing the door behind the two of you. The shirt was buttoned until halfway up his abdomen, and the buttons were already strained. “You see…” Zoro’s body was hot just from that, but he tried to keep himself calm.
You raised your eyebrows, eyes right on his chest. His pecs were a little pressed by the shirt in a way they stood out a little, and he wished the tension wouldn’t make his nipples hard like that. “That sucks,” you said, trying to tug the shirt closed, unsuccessfully. It made his pecs jiggle a little, at least. “This was one of my favorites.”
Maybe it still was. Your breath was hot on Zoro’s skin as you pressed a kiss right between his pecs. He gasped, stepping back until he met the wall as he felt you squeeze his pecs around your face and then give one of them a bite. If the pants were uncomfortable, they were turning insufferable by now.
“I woke up today looking forward to this, y’know?” You whispered, eyes meeting his. “It’s been a while since I last had some fun with you, and I thought being on an island like this would be the perfect opportunity.” You didn’t even want an answer, just mouthing at his chest again while pulling him closer by hooking your fingers around the belt loops of the pants.
Zoro gasped, whimpering as he kept his upper back pressed to the wall.
“I think I’ll actually get you one pair of pants like this,” you whispered, breath hot over his skin. You lowered yourself to your knees, unbuttoning the pants. “Just so you can wear them for me, y’know? Let me see how pathetic you struggle to fit in them. It’d also be nice to see you cum in those…” Your words trailed off while you lowered the pants a bit with some struggle, having them just enough down his thighs.
You mouthed Zoro through his boxers at first, helping him grow completely hard so that you could finally lower his piece of clothing—the way you let the waistband run against his cock agonizingly slow had him hissing, pressing back against the wall again. His knees became weak for you shamefully easily.
There weren’t any words while you wrapped your hand around his thick and hot cock, giving it a few pumps, but he didn’t think that you needed to talk with a toy, anyway. A gasp came from Zoro when he finally felt your tongue against his cock. It gave his tip kitten licks, wiping away the pre-cum before you were finally taking him in your mouth.
You had no mercy, of course, hollowing your cheeks around Zoro right after moving your head a couple of times. The pause you took from it was for yourself, to prevent your cheeks and jaw from hurting, and not because it was bringing Zoro close way too fast. Whenever you touched a sensitive spot of his, it was by coincidence due to the motion you did, not because you wanted to exploit his weak spots. You were cruel, fuck.
He had to bite his fist to prevent any sound from escaping his lips. His cock was being held up by your hand as the free one gripped on his thigh; you licked along the underside of his cock, from the balls to the head, tracing the veins. It felt heavenly. His breath was all uneven, all broken and permeated by whimpers, with the way he had to keep his sounds to himself. Why did you have to do it to him right there?
Your hands fondled Zoro’s balls, also giving him attention as you sucked on his fat, flushed tip. He couldn’t handle it, no, no, no. His cock was back in your mouth, your cheeks hollowed around it, and Zoro could barely think before he was cumming already. He was fucking ashamed—such a big, tough guy cumming so easily to a sloppy in a changing room, but at this point, he was just your toy, right? He couldn’t argue against that.
You kept sucking even though he’d already come, not changing the intensity in the smallest bit, just milking him until you were satisfied.
“Yeah,” you breathed, licking your lips as you pulled away. “I’m taking those pants and also the shirt.”
There weren’t a lot of words shared before you were up on your feet again, eyeing Zoro up and down, and you left the changing room.
You’d been the one to pay for everything, for your clothes and also his—surprisingly, you’d gotten some clothes that actually fit him. Zoro felt all flustered, unable to talk for a long while after he left the changing room in the clothes he’d been wearing in the first place. His legs felt so weak as he trailed after you.
“What do you want to eat, hm? Want to go to any bar?” You looked at Zoro as the two of you walked. “I’m paying you something for being such a good boy for me.”
.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.
444 notes · View notes