#everyone else is just a normal adventurer but those three are SOLDIERS

[x-i-l-verify]

#YEAH YEAH YEAH#my head hurts rn and nothin i say is gonna end up super coherent but i’ve said similar things in past posts!! #wars absolutely cares about wild and he’s relaxed a LOT in how he speaks to him recently but hes still a bit harsh #but it’s because hes SCARED and thats makin him come off to wild as angry #and i feel like wild to an extent might be jealous of Wars like maybe hes thinking that was the life HE was supposed to lead #theyre so so similar they really are and they could understand each other and parts of their trauma that none of the others really could #they need to talk so they can make up and set things on fire together 😔

-

#i think especially after twi got hurt and wars was left in charge #and he saw wild lose it. he saw wild put himself in danger for the sake of vengeance and anger #and i've talked before on the possibility of wild's past and trauma (and ADHD) having a part in wild's behavior in that arc#i don't think wars trusts wild right now. i don't think many of the others fully trust wild too #wind is relating how legend talks to wild in entrance pt 2 to how the others treat him #basically as someone who needs a babysitter #and we sort of see this in how the others talk about wild too. like legend calling him the 'crazy cook' #or twilight's over-protectiveness when wild took that hit for wind #they don't trust wild. and i think eventually wild is going to grow sick of it and angry at the others #hm i want to write a fic about this now 🤔#i think wild's memories might have a role in that as well. like how they don't really know what's happening during them #only twilight knows. the rest of them seem to be missing some context #(which is fascinating to me because for as much as wild claims to be an open book he seems to not be very open about the past him)

Wars and Wild as knights in Lu

They have issues.

I have a lot of thoughts on Wild and Wars and their relationship (Order of this post is talking about saluting, Wild and Wars' different perspectives, memory issues, and fire) Rant time.

No saluting!!

So Wild took a formal- almost/awkwardly saluting pose when Wars confronted him in 'Entrance pt.2'

It's similar to the first time Wild addressed Wars as 'captain'. His left hand is up from where a salute should be, and his overall posture is awkward, with his shoulders and right hand raised, but it's clear he's trying to do a salute in the presence of a fellow knight.

In the second example his hand is behind his head, but his posture is very straight and his right arm stiff- he's again attempting a formal saluting position. Which is still awkward

It is less clear but his changes in posture clued me in. He goes from like a deer in the headlights to visibly sweating to straight backed and looking up at Wars- looking at the changes in his body language

Side note but I literally love how Jojo draws the champions tunic so much-

We can't see the action of Wild's body language in a comic, just the positions he went to. But he visibly leaned away from Wars before switching to a straight backed saluting-like posture. He's clearly freaked out, hence Twilight's face: >:(

I think that Wild taking somewhat military poses around Wars is important to their relationship issues because it comes from his struggle with memory and identity

.

So like. All of them have different perspectives

Wars

I adore Wars. He is baby and I love him. I think it is also important to acknowledge that he would not speak to any of the others this way.

And the scarf man cmon it's so pretty they are so cute-

Why is Wars talking to Wild like this? He's called him out and reprimanded him multiple times in front of the others. Wild has taken it well but tbh if it was Legend I think he would be on fire.

To some extent I think he is in captain mode. I think that he has trouble seeing Wild as not a knight. Wars gives Wild respect as a knight who sacrificed for his kingdom, but now it seems he's taking it away as a knight who's not doing well enough since he 'disregarded the plan'

At least I think that's the outside (or Wild's) view of it. But Wars internally really cares about Wild and he saw him run up to a giant and lose it. Different ways of showing concern perhaps?

Who wouldn't want to keep Wild from getting more scars?

I just. Don't doubt for a second Wars really cares about Wild- even if the way he's acting still isn't cool. He has no right to treat him like a soldier any more than the rest of the chain, and right now I think Wild is acting as the more mature person.

Wild

I adore Wild. He is baby and I love him. I think it is also important to acknowledge that although he is clearly making efforts after Twilight's injury, Wild has ignored Wars for the majority of Lu, by not speaking to him much, and not thanking or acknowledging Wars when he directly helped him. (Small example being walking with Hyrule not Wars when injured and not directly responding to Wars)

Wars cares about and respects Wild, but it seems Wild wants nothing to do with him, and he's been cold towards Wars for the majority of Lu. To Wild, Wars reminds him of his perceived failure. Which is valid feelings, but still not fair. And I think that ask is talking about these two.

The thing I love about this is each of them are right and wrong in some ways, leading to the tension between them. So fully blaming either of them is not logical

The rest of the chain is just vibing. Except twilight who's mad and wants them to just grow up, but. Heros of courage not wisdom @uniquevoidflowers ;)

And that ask- '''Are any of the Links ever jealous of another Link for adventures that were less difficult/life threatening?'' ''When you hear Wild say he 'hates' someone you'll have your answer.''' somewhat leads to my next point-

Wild's identity and memory issues exacerbate all of this

In Entrance, Twilight is being stressed and defensive, that's ok. What concerns me most is that Twilight has talked with Wild through stuff like this in his rough moments

Wild has tried to be formal several times- he is not very good at it

Four's face I can't didnwidkekfjej

Wild isn't and can't be 'him'- the same 'perfect' (<actually has crippling anxiety) knight he was before, and Twilight knows this. And I agree with him a bit, I think, that Wars is making things worse in Wild's mind by being that perfect soldier, and seemingly holding Wild to a standard he isn't

Wild's attempts at saluting is symbolic of that- Wars makes him feel like a failure trying to be the person he should be. But Wild shouldn't be anyone but himself.

Anyways. Fire.

Wars and Wild have issues, and I want them to work through all their relationship drama so they can reach their PEAK dynamic, which is obviously this

I mean like. We need these two to be friends

Anyways. Wild is in this constant state of identity crisis, and being around Wars has not been beneficial- neither of them is or has been showing the other the respect they deserve. Not as knights, but as people and brothers. They need a get along shirt.

All this Art is by Jojo @linkeduniverse au!

:)

[marshmallow-phd]

Book of the Dead

Genre: The Mummy AU

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

Summary: After traveling to the fabled city of Hamunaptra, you read from the Book of the Dead and accidentally resurrect an ancient mummy with extraordinary powers and quest for revenge. The only thing to do now is try and convince your less-than-traditional guide to help you save the world. 

Part 1 I Part 2

**

“I just said a few sentences!”

“What did you do that for!”

“Well, I didn’t know that that would happen!”

You stared at the aggravating, self-absorbed, cocky Korean soldier and wondered why on earth you had decided to negotiate for this man’s life. 

Alright, you did know why. You needed him to show you to Hamunuptra - the fabled City of the Dead. 

Too many times you had stood in front of the museum curator with pages and pages of references and evidence that the place existed and just needed a small team of archeologists in order to track it down. He’d shot you down every time. And each time he took the liberty of reminding you that while your father was an exceptional explorer who had many successes under his belt, you were a woman whose life had been spent between the shelves, cataloging. Your adventures consisted of the fictional kind, devouring any novel you could when you weren’t archiving the latest crate of artifacts and texts. 

Then your cousin showed up. Your normally useless, hare-brained, erratic, drunkard cousin showed up at your apartment with a “fun new artifact” he found on his latest trip. And suddenly your luck had completely turned around. 

Or so you thought. 

Now you were standing in the middle of Hamunaptra, feet sinking into the unstable sand, with an empty sarcophagus and everyone blaming you because you did what you did best - read.

It was only a book. Albeit, a very heavy, possibly-made-of-painted-solid-gold book that was written in the dead language of ancient Egypt, but still. What harm had ever come from reading a book?

Kim Junmyeon stared at you as if you were the one who had risen from the dead. You were still stunned at how different he looked from when you had first met him in that smelly prison, minutes away from being hanged. His hair had been long and stringy, clumps of dirt clinging to the dark brown strands that brushed his shoulders. Now it was shorter, cut above his ears and gelled back in the current style that almost made him look like a gentleman. The several days’ stubble was long gone to reveal smooth skin and a sharp jawline. He was actually very handsome - when he was cleaned up. 

Stupid, you hissed at yourself. Now was not the time for this. Because right now there seemed to be a reanimated mummy running around here. And by the looks of Barney’s husk of a body lying deep within the temple underground, it was hungry. 

As it should be, given the three thousand years it spent locked up under piles of sand. 

“Really, you should have been more careful!” your cousin, Baekhyun, scolded. 

You scoffed. “You’re one to talk. You were the one who snatched the key off of Mr. Kim here at one of your seedy bars and then proceeded to lie to me and say that you found it on a dig in Thebes which in turn brought us here!”

Baekhyun opened and closed his mouth as he searched for a possible retort. 

“I think this is more your fault,” Kim Junmyeon’s own cousin and traveling partner, Oh Sehun, said. “You told us to go down a level and dig under the statue, which in turn,” he mocked your tone almost precisely, “caused the mummy to be able to get out of his sarcophagus. If we had dug somewhere else entirely, then he’d still be trapped under the statue of Anubis.”

“Despite the fact that it was two layers deep, nothing would have been able to hold a victim of the Hom-Dai.”

“Would have given poor Barney a chance,” Kim Junmyeon muttered under his breath. You shot him a glare that he hardly noticed. 

“I say that we get out of here and to the safety of the city before the mummy finds us.” Oh Sehun swallowed thickly. “Or worse. The beetles find us.” The supposedly brave soldier who had two pistols hanging under each arm was more terrified of the flesh eating bugs than he was the living mummy that was bringing about the ten plagues of Egypt. You’d already lived through the locust infestation, but that was always the most minor of the plagues. In your opinion. 

“We told you to leave,” Ardeth said in that low, monotone voice that made him seem centuries old. You had only known him for a few hours, but you already feared and respected him. Despite the fact that he had attacked your campsite the night before. “Now you have condemned the whole world to the very monster that we have spent three thousand years keeping hidden.”

Kim Junmyeon finally tore his face away from yours. “I told you. I shot him. He went down.”

“Mortal weapons are useless against this creature. None can kill him.” Stepping up, he stood toe to toe with the soldier who led you here. “A gun is nothing more than a fly to him. He will never eat. He will never sleep. And he will never stop. Not until this world is only sand.”

Though still not completely backing down, Kim Junmyeon took hold of your arm. “Come on. We’re going back to Cairo.”

**

The camel ride back to the city was long, tiring, and a bit painful, if you were honest. The inside of your thighs were sore from keeping you up right on the animal’s back for hours on end under the blazing heat. You were used to the comfortable back seat of a car, even if the roads here tended to be on the bumpier side. Kim Junmyeon stayed at your side the entire time, up until you were back in your hotel room. All your things were still in there. That was nice, even if it was to be expected. The desk clerk had sworn he would keep the room reserved for you until you made it back. And now that you had, you were on to the next fight. 

“We’re not going anywhere!” 

Kim Junmyeon pretended not to hear you as he started emptying the dresser drawers of your clothes and stuffing them in your suitcases lying open on the bed.

“Excuse me! I said we’re not going anywhere!” As soon as he stepped away again, you slammed the suitcase shut. A stray white cat that you didn’t have the heart to remove from your room took advantage of the newly available space and laid down on the surface of the luggage. Unbothered by the argument taking place in its presences, it purred as it curled into a ball and closed its eyes. 

“You keep using the word ‘we’ and I’m not sure why,” he said. “I believe you were the one who woke him up in the first place.”

“Yes, I get it!” you shouted. “Everyone can blame me because I read the damn book, but that is why we need to stop him.”

He closed the empty drawer and turned back around to face you. “And how exactly do you plan on doing that? You heard Ardeth. No mortal weapon can kill this guy.”

“That’s why we’re going to find some immortal ones.”

He pulled a pair of rounded glasses from his pocket, wiped the lenses with his shirt, and stuck them on the bridge of his nose. “There goes that ‘we’ business again.”

You huffed, trying not to focus on the newest version of the soldier now being presented in front of you. “Yes, we. Because this curse will continue to get worse until the whole world is destroyed.”

“And that’s my problem?”

“It is everybody’s problem! You live here, too!”

Kim Junmyeon stepped up until he was mere inches away. “Listen. I appreciate you saving my life and all, but when I agreed to this idiotic mission my objective was to show you the way and then bring you back here. I have done that. End of job. End of story. Contract terminated.”

You tried not to show how his last few words affected you. Though you had been a little intoxicated two nights ago, you still very much remembered how sweet he had been, how he had listened to you go on and on about your parents and how much you wanted to be a famous adventurer like your father. And how you almost kissed him. And how he was going to kiss you back. Stupidly, you had thought that there was something growing between you. Apparently, you had been wrong. 

“Is that all I am to you?” you whispered. “A contract?”

Kim Junmyeon blew out haughtily from his nose. His Adam’s Apple bobbed as he swallowed. He opened his mouth and then closed it. You waited in hopes that he would contradict you. That he would say, no that was not all you were to him. And it really seemed like he would be saying something along those lines. But other words came out instead. 

“Look. You can either come with me or you can try and stay here and save the world. So. What’s it going to be?”

You didn’t even hesitate. “I’m staying.”

“Fine.” He headed for the door. 

“Fine,” you bit back, following him. 

“Fine,” he threw at you again as he barely glanced over his shoulder.

“Fine!”

“Fine!” 

He got the last word in before slamming the door to your room shut. 

You huffed as you crossed your arms. Yet, as angry as you were, you still hoped that he would come back. That he wouldn’t let you take this on alone. But the footsteps on the other faded away and you were alone.

Looking around your room, you didn’t think there was much you could do. So, you did what you were best at. You grabbed all the books you thought could help you and got to reading. 

While sitting in the wicker chair in the corner, you skipped around the books and pages, clinging on to any small word that you thought could lead you to a possible solution. There wasn’t much to be found, unfortunately. Most works spoke of how to perform the Hom-Dai and how it should never be performed due to the curse that awaits should the victim ever be awakened. You already knew that. You needed specifics on what to do after the victim came back. 

“(Y/n)!”

Kim Junmyeon came bursting back into your room. You slammed the book in your hands closed, feeling very high and mighty indeed.

“Ah. Mr. Kim. Have you changed your mind?”

“Doesn’t matter now, he’s here!”

“What!”

He didn’t clarify as he hoisted you up out of the chair and pulled you out of the room, and into the hall. Through the windows, you watched in horror as fire fell from the heavens. The balls of flame engulfed anything it touched when it landed, whether it be plant or human life. Turning a corner, Kim Junmyeon ran into a room you knew was occupied by another one of the Americans that you had ran into on your way to Hamunaptra. You gasped. 

In the chair, now nothing more than dried, husky skin and hollow bones was… oh, dear you couldn’t remember his name. You hadn’t bothered to learn them. You and Baekhyun had simply referred to them as the “Bloody Americans”. You were feeling a bit awful about that at the moment. 

But you didn’t have much time to dwell on that. Standing in front of the fireplace was a new version of the mummy. His skin was starting to come together, though patches were still missing, allowing you to see the gray bone and lack of organs underneath. Kim Junmyeon pulled out both of his guns as the mummy stalked forward. 

“We are in deep trouble,” he murmured before opening fire. The loud pops banged on your poor eardrums. You stumbled back a few steps to try and soften their blows. It didn’t work. 

The bullets passed through the mummy as if they didn’t exist at all. Even when Oh Sehun and the other Americans came running into the room and firing off their own guns, the mummy still kept going. He shoved Kim Junmyeon back into the others as if he were nothing more than old wrappings. Then he turned on you. 

Completely unarmed, you stumbled back until you were betrayed by the bookshelf behind you. There was nowhere to run. Instead of sucking out your liver, however, he spoke. 

“You were the one who saved me from the afterlife.” His words were haunting, echoing as if he was speaking in a cavern. And the language he spoke… ancient Egyptian. You weren’t sure why you expected to speak anything else. Coming in closer, he lowered his voice. “I thank you.” 

He leaned in his head, those very human eyes lowering to your lips. You turned your head away to try and avoid the kiss, confused as to why he was trying to seduce you. 

Sharp, unpleasing notes from the piano pierced through the air. The mummy turned and gasped when he saw the white cat from your room walking across the keys. In a whirl of sand, he fled from the room. 

“Oh, thank god,” you said with a heavy breath.

“No kidding,” Kim Junmyeon groaned as he sat up. 

You ran to his side, fearful that he might have been injured. “Are you alright, Mr. Kim?”

“Yes,” he huffed. With a very odd expression, he added, “And I told you to call me Junmyeon.”

To be honest, after your fight, you didn’t think you would be allowed to anymore. A strange silence settled between you. He was trying to say something with his gaze, but you couldn’t interpret it. So, instead, you helped him to his feet. “Come on. I know who we need to talk to about all of this.”

It took a while to get back to the museum that had employed you for the past year or so. Every street was full of panicking people. Flames no longer fell from the heavens, but little fires still raged on homes and carts. The Americans had declared that they were coming along, so your group was slower in moving. Although you didn’t really want the mummy bait to be anywhere near you, Junmyeon and Sehun decided that it would be better to keep an eye on them and - hopefully - keep them out of the mummy’s grasp. 

“Dr. Bey!” You ran into the museum’s main storage room, happy when you saw the curator. But then you skidded to a stop at the sight that he wasn’t alone. 

Ardeth was talking with him in hushed tones that stopped the second you appeared. Both men turned towards you, the curator wearing a very readable expression. It was one that stunk of “I told you so”. The others were only a few steps behind. As soon they, too, saw the unexpected visitor, Junmyeon, Sehun, and the Americans pulled out their guns while Baekhyun simply squeaked in surprise. 

“Gentlemen,” Dr. Bey greeted as if this were any old meeting on a Tuesday. 

“What is he doing here?” Junmyeon demanded. Even with the black tattoos etched under Ardeth’s eyes, you could tell that he was tired, dark circles from lack of sleep bruising his skin. 

Dr. Bey raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to know? Or perhaps you would prefer to just shoot us?”

“Either sounds good.” Junmyeon cocked back the hammer of one of his guns for emphasis. 

“Stop it,” you hissed. “Bullets won’t do any good here. Besides, you might damage some of the artifacts.”

Junmyeon failed to suppress a laugh over your concern. Despite the present danger, you still didn’t want to see the carriages or sacred jars damaged because someone got trigger happy. So, Junmyeon holstered his guns and the others soon followed suit. “All right. I’ll give a little faith.”

Dr. Bey motioned for the group to follow him in deeper. “We’re part of a secret society-”

“Aren’t they all?” Baekhyun muttered. Both you and Dr. Bey shot him glares that made him snap his mouth shut. 

“For over three thousand years, we have guarded the City of the Dead. Once we reach manhood, we swear an oath to do anything and everything in our power to stop the high priest Imhotep from rising from the grave.”

“And now we have failed. Thanks to you.” Ardeth gave you a particularly pointed look. 

By now, you were getting very irritated with the constant finger pointing. What was done was done. You were not going to show him any cowardice. “And that justifies the murder of innocent people?” 

“Hm. To stop this creature?” Dr. Bey pretended to think for a moment. “Yes.”

Junmyeon, untroubled by that, raised his hand from the golden seat of a dead royal that he had taken over. “I have a question. Why doesn’t he seem to like cats?”

“Cats are the guardians of the underworld. He will fear them until he reaches full regeneration.”

“Then there will be nothing that he fears.” Worry was very much apparent in the soldier’s voice.

“And you know how he gets regenerated?” one of the Americans asked rhetorically. 

The other one finished. “By tracking those of us down who opened the chest and sucking us dry like a nomad in the desert, that’s how!”

It was completely pointless to go over the things that were already known. Now was the time to try and piece the unused parts together. Two particular moments were sticking out in your head. 

“Back in Hamunaptra, the priest - Imhotep - he called me Ack-Su-Namun. And then just now at the hotel, he….” You cringed at the memory, thankful that you didn’t have to feel the decomposed skin against your own. “He tried to kiss me.”

“It’s because of Anck-Su-Namun and his love for her that he was cursed,” Dr. Bey explained, exchanging a look with Ardeth. “Even after all this time….”

“He’s still in love with her?” Sehun finished with a scoff. 

You appreciated the backstory, however - “As romantic as that is, what does that have to do with me?”

“Perhaps he will try to raise her from the dead once again?” Ardeth guessed. 

“Yes,” Dr. Bey agreed solemnly. “And it would seem that he has already chosen his human sacrifice.”

All eyes in the room turned to you. Wonderful. 

Not only were you the one who read from the book and raised him, but you would also be responsible for the return of his beloved, who was the reason he was cursed in the first place. Absolutely beautiful. 

Baekhuyn came up behind you and patted your shoulder. “That is some rotten luck, dear cousin.”

“Actually, this could work in our favor,” Dr. Bey countered. “It could give us time that we desperately need to kill the creature.”

“We’ll need every second, I think,” Sehun said. He pointed towards the ceiling. “I think he’s getting stronger.”

Through the large window high up on the wall, the sun was in clear view. You all watched in horror as the moon moved too quickly across the sky and blocked the light from reaching Earth. 

“I’m guessing this is the plague of darkness?” Baekhyun said ominously. You nodded slowly. 

“Let’s go,” Junmyeon said softly beside you, his hand coming up protectively behind your back. “We’ve got to get back to the hotel and come up with a plan.”

**

“I’m just saying, it seems very stupid to comdem someone to a curse when the result of that would be for them to come back a supernatural creature who is practically unkillable.”

“The ancient Egyptians believed in balance,” you explained to Baekhyun for the hundredth time in your life. “To curse someone so badly in both this life and the next, there has to be a consequence to balance out the scales. If not, then the whole world could still fall apart, in even worse ways!”

“All of this is kind of pointless now, isn’t it?” Sehun sighed from the small table in the antechamber to your room. His feet were up on the polished surface as he leaned back in his seat. A look of irritation was etched on his face as he stared at your cousin. “What’s done is done. Right now, we need to focus on our next step.”

“Well, I know you two,” you pointed to the Americans, “opened the chest. As well as Barney. Was there anyone else?”

“The Egyptologist that was with us,” the shaggier one answered. “Professor Chamberlain. He has a temporary residence a few blocks over.”

“What about my best friend Beni?” Junmyeon asked. You nearly snorted. You knew the two of them were anything but friends.

“No. He ran out before we took the lid off. Ended up saving his own skin.”

“Sounds like Beni,” Junmyeon said dryly. “Okay. We’re going to go get the Professor. You four,” he pointed to all the men, “come with me. You, stay here.”

Oh, no you weren’t. “Excuse me! I am just as capable as any of them are. I will not- What do you think you’re doing!”

Junmyeon marched over to you, picked you up, and carried you over his shoulder until you were in your room. Then he dropped you on the floor, closed the door, and locked it tight. “This door doesn’t open.”

You didn’t know who he said it to, who he left in charge of watching you like an infant. It didn’t matter. You pounded your fist against the solid wood door. “Baekhyun! Junmyeon! Let me out! Baekhyun, you coward! Help me out here!”

“Sorry, cousin!” Baekhyun yelled on the other side of the door. “But… he’s got a gun.”

“Smart choice,” you heard Junmyeon say. Oh, you were going to kill him. Which “him” was yet to be decided. Perhaps both would be most satisfactory. 

Well, now you were stuck here. 

Crossing your arms, you sat on the edge of the bed and contemplated your choices. Not that you had many. 

A yawn forced its way out. You were tired. Over the past few days, you had hardly been able to get any real sleep. And, well, now seemed to be a time. So, you changed into your nightgown and slipped under the covers. The mattress was soft, like a cloud. The pillows were stuffed into freshly cleaned cotton cases. It was barely a few minutes before you drifted off…

And then abruptly woke up to something moving against your mouth. It started out soft but quickly turned ashen and tough. Your eyes flew open and you screamed, the sound muffled by the kiss of Imhotep!

You tried to shove him off, but he didn’t budge. Your touch meant nothing to him as he continued the unwanted kiss. 

The door to your room burst open, finally taking his attention and allowing your scream to be heard at full volume. Imhotep’s face was half rotten away, his lips completely gone, the cheeks held together by thin strips of jerky-like skin. You scrambled out of reach, to try and get as far away as the tiny room would allow. The movement caused you to fall out of the bed and land hard on the wood floor.

Standing up, Imhotep said something in ancient Egyptian, but your jumbled, still half-asleep brain couldn’t translate it. 

“Oh, really?” Junmyeon mocked. “Here’s my answer.” He held up the poor cat who had saved you earlier, the animal hissing threateningly at the mummy. Just like last time, Imhotep fled in a tornado of sand out the window, terrified of the innocent creature. 

“Are you alright?” Junmyeon asked as he let the cat fall from his hands. The cat landed gracefully on its feet and walked over to the bed with more dignity than you’d ever seen a human radiate. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” Baekhyun answered. After a glare from Junmyeon, he cleared his throat. “Oh. You weren’t- that’s fine. Go… check on her.” Junmyeon did just that. 

Kneeling in front of you, he pushed away a few stray hairs that had fallen in your face. Warm, soft brown eyes searched for any sign of harm. The tips of his fingers brushed against your cheek, setting the skin on fire. Or perhaps that was just the blood rushing up to your face in slight embarrassment. This man made you… nervous in a way. He could be dastardly at times, but… also very sweet. 

Clearing your throat, you pushed yourself up to your feet. “I’m fine. A little disgusted, but I’m fine.”

A smirk and knowing gleam flashed on Junmyeon’s face as he rose. “I’m sure mine was better.”

He was referring to the lip-smash he desperately pulled before he was to be dragged to the hangman’s noose. Not exactly the best first impression. 

You snorted. “No. I wouldn’t say that.” His jaw went slack. Sehun and Baekhyun snickered behind him. “Did you find the professor?” you asked in order to change the subject. 

“Yeah. He stayed out in the sun for a little long by the time we found him.”

“What are you-” Oh. Oh. That was why Imhotep was so far along in his regeneration. He’d found another victim to suck dry. 

“And he has the Book of the Dead,” Sehun added. “According to Beni, that’s what he’s going to use to raise Anacsunmum.”

“Anck-Su-Namun,” you corrected. 

“Yeah, her.”

You rolled your eyes. Why did you even bother?

You started pacing the room, trying to figure out what would be the best next move. You couldn’t keep playing hide and seek with the cat for all eternity. There needed to be a way to end this. Before he read from the book and raised-

The book… 

The book! 

You whirled back to the others. “I have an idea!”

“Care to share?”

“The Black book has always been rumored among scholars to be able to bring people back from the dead. Something I had always thought was nonsense,” you added to yourself. “But since that part is true, that means other rumors must be as well. Such as the Gold Book being able to send a soul back to the afterlife.”

“A balance.” Baekhyun looked awfully proud of himself. At least something finally stuck. 

“Exactly. Now all we have to do is find out where it's hidden.”

Junmyeon frowned. “But I thought it was supposed to be hidden with Anubis?”

“Exactly,” you agreed. “It comes from a translation of an ancient text. A stone that’s at the museum here, actually. It also says where the Black book was supposed to be hidden. I think they got their translations mixed up. So, where the scholars who originally translated it said that the golden Book of Amun-Ra was in the statue of Anubis, it's actually wherever they said the black Book of the Dead was supposed to be.”

“And where is that?”

You swallowed. “I don’t remember. We’ll have to go to the museum so I can read it again.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, Junmyeon checked the barrels of his guns, reloaded the revolvers with bullets from his belt. “Then I guess we’re headed back to the museum. Hopefully we don’t run into Ugly Face before we get to the rock.”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine,” you said with the utmost confidence. 

Sehun, who did not share that sentiment, looked up towards the ceiling. “Oh joy. Another book hunt.”

[it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream]

Silva Lining (Saul Silva x Reader) Chapter 11

Warnings: Mentions of infant death

Word Count: 1.8k

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-19 years ago-

As per usual, Farah was bored. She was home in the kingdom of Solaria and once again her family were throwing another ball. Of course she had to be there, she was part of the royal family after all. Her sister was Queen Luna Star, she couldn’t make the family look bad by ditching the event, especially as it was held in her honour.

Big ball dresses and small talk wasn’t her thing. This was temporary however. Soon Farah would be going back to Alfea to take over as Headmistress and she’d finally start living by her own rules. Her mentor and friend Rosalind would be there to guid her and Saul, a friend she had met as a student, would be there as the Headmaster of the Specialists. She couldn’t think of better people to be surrounded with.

There was one upside to the party. People from all over the magic realms had been invited and there was one person in particular that caught Farah’s eye. She didn’t expect things to go the way they did but one thing led to another and she and the mysterious, dark haired stranger found a quiet room in the castle and made love until the rise of the morning sun.

The story goes that she awoke from a dream, a prophecy. The stranger was never seen again and later was found to be the king of the Blood Witches, an enemy to the fairies. Three weeks later and Farah found that she was pregnant. The prophecy was coming true.

“A child, born on a Soul moon, half Fairy, half Witch. Powers bestowed by the Great Dragon, will be the balance between good and evil. The key to the lives of all those who harness power, they are the one true heir to all the lands.”

The former King and Queen of Solaria were ashamed of Farah. Hiding the truth about the pregnancy from everyone. Even her sister Luna kept quiet of the affair, as she did not want anyone else to have claim to the throne, prophecy or no prophecy.

Nine months later and a girl was born. Farah was elated, however there was a dark sinister plot she didn’t know about. The doctors were ordered to do something unforgivable by Queen Luna, under the pressure from her parents. Farah was told that the baby was still born, a spell cast on the newborn to make it seem as if she were not breathing. Farah was inconsolable. Maybe the prophecy wasn’t supposed to come true. But it was.

Queen Luna had a soldier take the baby to the first world and left it on the steps of a hospital, where it would be taken care of as a changeling, nobody the wiser.

Farah grieved for her lost child but finally moved on, becoming Headmistress of Alfea and leaving royalty behind. She didn’t speak to her family, didn’t mention her sister or her lineage to anyone and changed her last name. It was kept a secret so she could live a somewhat normal life. Eventually the story was re-told to her three friends, Ben Harvey, Saul Silva and Rosalind who all swore never to tell a soul.

Farah thought that part of her life was behind her, a mere, sad memory of something that shouldn’t have been. But she was wrong. 18 years later, Saul found a changeling crying in the woods over the body of a burned one. She didn’t know it then but Farah’s life would never be the same again.

——————————————————————————————————

-Y/N’s POV-

Growing up, you’d connected with books like Harry Potter. Something about you could connect with the main character. Treated unfairly over and over by families that were meant to take care of you. No belongings, no friends, a tiny room and worst of all… no parents. You’d sat in your room at nights pouring over the words in your books, imagining the magical life you wished you could escape to.

You wanted a group of friends like Ron and Hermione. The adventures, the power, the fun. Even reading those books would never prepare you for a moment like this. You’d dreamt about the day you found your birth parents, gone over and over the meeting in your head a thousand times. You hadn’t pictured it like this.

You were still in Farah’s office. She was looking at you, tears rolling down her cheeks. You were crying too, what were you supposed to say? You felt like you couldn’t breath. You’d always thought you weren’t wanted, that your parents had just given you up like people give up smoking after new years, but that wasn’t the case at all. She’d thought you were dead. She didn’t know… She didn’t know. You wanted to be mad, be angry but all you could feel was upset and confused.

“I- I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to say, I don’t know… who I am.” You quickly swept the tears from your face and stood, knocking back the chair in your hurry.

“Please don’t run away Y/N, I.. I wanted to tell you sooner but I needed to be sure. I didn’t want to give you false hope and I couldn’t go through losing you all over again.” You wanted to scream, you didn’t know whether to hug the woman in front of you or run for the hills. It was all too much.

“Stella knows doesn’t she, that’s part of the reason Queen Luna took her, she’s my cousin…” You were sobbing again, more like hyperventilating. Saul had bust the door down as soon as her heard your gasps of air. In seconds you were in his arms and he was trying to get you to breath again. Your ears were ringing and you couldn’t concentrate. You just needed to get out of there.

You did the only thing you knew how to do well. You ran, taking Sauls hand in yours, you opened a portal and poof. Both of you disappeared from Headmistress Dowling's office.

Now, the truth is you thought you’d become stronger after all the training and the hard times you been through. But all this drama and truth takes the cake. How could you not run away after that overload of information?

Mums your Headmistress.. check

Dads the king of the Blood Witches…. check

Your future husband is your mothers best friend… check

Your bestfriend is actually your cousin… check

Your Auntie, the Queen of Solaria pretended you were dead and made you a changeling.. check

And to top it all off you were the answer to an ancient prophecy and apparently you were supposed to be the answer to the balance between good and evil. Just another day in the life of Y/N.

Even when you landed through the portal you were still hyperventilating. You wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. Saul was on you again in a flash, trying to calm you down before your powers went haywire. Hey, at least you had an explanation for why they did that from time to time. You were more powerful than you’d ever thought possible.

“Angel, please try and breath, copy me, in and out, it’s okay, I’ve got you, i’m here, look at me. Y/N LOOK AT ME!” Sauls pleading and authoritative voice seemed to snap you from your panic. Your eyes were full of unshed tears and you felt physically drained. His arms came around you and his chin rested on the top of your head. God, you wanted to be mad at him for not telling you but you couldn’t. It wasn’t his place to tell you and you knew that. Plus, being in his arms was the only place you felt safe, you weren’t about to ruin that. You needed Saul more than he would ever know.

You calmed, peeking out of Sauls arms to take in your surroundings. You don’t know why your mind had taken you here, this was the last place you or Saul would probably want to see. Asterdale. The wind swept through your hair and spray from the ocean below dusted your tear streaked face.

“Saul, please, tell me what really happened here. I need to know the truth.” He nodded. You pictured the barrier around the building coming down and a flash of electricity bolted from your hands, the ruins now visible.

“It all started with Rosalind…..” He dove into telling you the truth about what really happened. How Rosalind had lead Farah, Ben and Saul to believe there was no one in the village, burned ones were the only ones left. Apparently Sky’s father had been part of her plan too, he knew the truth and Saul and him had a fight.. ending in Saul killing his best friend Andreas. It was all Rosalind’s fault.. Rosalind, the person Bloom was trying to free from Farah’s spells.

——————————————————————————————————

It had been a few hours of just talking with Saul, laying in his arms, when you both decided to return to the school. By now, people would probably start to wonder where you both were and you didn’t need to make things any more suspicious. It was also still too dangerous to be out in the open like this.

Something about the school looked different to you now. Older, more worn down. Full of lies and secrets hidden in the walls. It was as if she sensed your presence. Farah was waiting on the steps outside, pacing nervously, your friends waiting along side her. You don’t know what compelled you to do it, one minute you were walking next to Saul, the next you were in front of Miss Dowling… your mum, and then you were in her arms. At first she stilled, shocked perhaps, then she hugged you with everything she had in her, tears flowing freely, mixing with your own. It felt right. It wasn’t her fault you were a changeling. If anything, it was just as unfair on her. The baby she was excited to have, was secretly taken away from her and for years she was lead to believe a cruel lie. You were pretty sure you even heard Saul sniffle from behind you.

Your friends had been filled in by Farah, she knew you would need support after the ordeals you’d gone through. There were no words for the shock everyone had experienced today. Yet, you still felt like something bigger was on the horizon.

The burned ones were still a major threat, Bloom was still having dreams about Rosalind, and Beatrix was locked up in some magic stealing cell. Most of all, you had a mother and a father and the King of the Blood Witches, well, he was still out there.

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okay so, this is a short chapter compared to what I usually post, it's more of like a filler chapter but I hope you still like it now you've learnt the story of the Reader and Farah's relationship! Please if you have any thoughts or ideas let them be heard in the comments!!! Please reblog/like/follow <3

CHAPTER 12 ------ CLICK HERE

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[qqueenofhades]

If/when they make a Joe/Nicky prequel movie, what are some of the Dos and Don’ts for them, with regards to historical accuracy. Like, what do you think they should include, and what do you think they should avoid?

Oof. This is a GREAT question, and also designed to give me a chance to ramble on in a deeply, deeply self-indulgent fashion. That is now what will proceed to happen. Consider yourself warned. So if they were miraculously to be like “well that qqueenofhades person on tumblr seems like she knows what she’s talking about, let’s hire her to consult on this production!”, here are some of the things I would tell them.

First off, a question I have in fact asked my students when teaching the crusades in class is whether you could actually show the sack of Jerusalem on screen. Like... if you’re making a film about the First Crusade, what kind of choices are you going to make? What narrative viewpoint are you going to uphold throughout the story? Are you actually going to show a slaughter of Muslim and Jewish inhabitants that some chroniclers described as causing enough blood to reach up to the knees of horses? (Whether it actually did this is beside the point; the point is that the sack went far beyond the accepted conventions of warfare and struck everybody involved in it as particularly horrific.) Because when you’re making a film about the crusades, you are also making it by nature for a modern audience that has particular understandings of Christian/Muslim conflict, religious warfare and/or tolerance, the War on Terror, the modern clash over ISIS, Trump’s Muslim ban, and so forth. The list goes on and on. So you’re never making a straight, unbiased historical adaptation, even if you’re going off the text of primary sources. You’re still constructing it and presenting it in a deliberate and curated fashion, and you can bet that whichever way you come down, your audience will pick up on that.

Let’s take the most recent example of a high-profile crusades film: Kingdom of Heaven from 2005. I’ve written a book chapter on how the narrative choices of KoH, aside from its extensive fictionalization of its subject matter to start with, make it crystal clear that it is a film made by a well-meaning Western liberal filmmaker (Ridley Scott) four years after 9/11 and two years after the invasion of Iraq, when the sympathy from 9/11 was wearing off and everyone saw America/Great Britain and the Bush/Blair coalition overreaching itself in yet another arrogant imperial adventure into the Middle East. Depending on how old you are, you may or may not remember the fact that Bush explicitly called the War on Terror a “crusade” at the start, and then was quickly forced to walk it back once it alarmed his European allies (yes, back then, as bad as America was, it still did have those) with its intellectual baggage. They KNEW exactly what images and tropes they were invoking. It is also partly why medieval crusade studies EXPLODED in popularity after 9/11. Everyone recognized that these two things had something to do with each other, or they made the connection somehow. So anyone watching KoH in 2005 wasn’t really watching a crusades film (it is set in the late 1180s and dramatizes the surrender of Jerusalem to Saladin) so much as a fictional film about the crusades made for an audience explicitly IN 2005. I have TONS to say on this subject (indeed, if you want a copy of my book chapter, DM me and I’ll be happy to send it.)

Ridley Scott basically sets it up as the Christian and Muslim secular leaders themselves aren’t evil, it’s all the religious fanatics (who are all made Templars, including Guy de Lusignan, going back to the “evil Templar” trope started by Sir Walter Scott and which we are all so very familiar with from Dan Brown and company). Orlando Bloom’s character shares a name (Balian de Ibelin) but very little else with the eponymous real-life crusader baron. One thing Scott did do very well was casting an actual and well-respected Syrian actor (Ghassan Massoud) to play Saladin and depicting him in essential fidelity to the historical figure’s reputed traits of justice, fairness, and mercy (there’s some article by a journalist who watched the film in Beirut with a Muslim audience and they LOVED the KoH Saladin). I do give him props for this, rather than making the Evil Muslim into the stock antagonist. However, Orlando Bloom’s Balian is redeemed from the religious extremist violence of the Templars (shorthand for all genuinely religious crusaders) by essentially being an atheistic/agnostic secular humanist who wants everyone to get along. As I said, this is a film about the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq made three years after 9/11 more than anything else, and you can really see that.

That said, enough about KoH, back to this presumable Joe/Nicky backstory. You would obviously run into the fact that it’s SUPER difficult to make a film about the crusades without offending SOMEBODY. The urge to paint in broad strokes and make it all about the evil Westerners invading is one route, but it would weaken the moral complexity of the story and would probably make it come off as pandering to guilty white liberal consciences. Are we gonna touch on the many decades of proto-crusading ventures in Iberia, Sicily, North Africa, and other places, and how the eleventh century, especially under Pope Gregory VII, made it even thinkable for a Christian to be a holy warrior in the first place? (It was NOT normal beforehand.) How are we going to avoid the “lololol all religion sucks and makes people do crazy things” axe to grind favoured by So Very Smart (tm) internet atheists? Yes, we have to demonstrate the ultimate horror of the crusade and the flawed premises it was based on, but we can’t do that by just showing the dirty, religiously zealot medieval people doing that because they don’t know any better and are being cynically manipulated in God’s Name. In other words (and the original TOG film did this very well) we can’t position ourselves to laugh at or mock the crusader characters or feel confident in looking down on them for being Dumb Zealots. They have to be relatable enough that we realize we could BE (and in fact already ARE) them, and THEN you slide into the horror and what compels them to do those kinds of things, and THAT’S when it hits. Because take a look at the news. This is happening around us right now.

Obviously, as I was doing in my First Crusade chapter in DVLA, a lot of this also has to spend time centering the Muslim point of view, the way they reacted to the crusade, the ways in which Yusuf as an Isma’ili Shia Muslim (Kaysani is the name of a branch of Isma’ili Shi’ites, he has a definite historical context and family lineage, and hence is almost surely, as I wrote him, a Fatimid from Egypt) is likewise not just A Stock Muslim. In this case, obviously: Get actual Muslims on the set to advise about the details. Don’t make stupid and/or obvious mistakes. Don’t necessarily make the Muslims less faithful or less virtuous than the Christians (even if this is supposed to praise them as being “less fanatic” than those bad religious Catholics). Don’t tokenize or trivialize their reaction to something as horrific as the sack of Jerusalem, and don’t just use dead brown bodies as graphic visual porn for cheap emotional points. Likewise, it goes without saying, and I don’t think they would anyway, but OH MY GOD DON’T MAKE THIS INTO GAME OF THRONES GRIMDARK!!!! OH MY GOD!!! THERE IS BEAUTY AND THERE IS LIGHT AND THERE IS POETRY AND THAT’S WHY IT HURTS SO MUCH WHEN IT’S DESTROYED! AND THE CHOICES THAT PEOPLE MAKE TO DESTROY THOSE THINGS HAVE TO BE TERRIFYINGLY PLAUSIBLE AND FAMILIAR, BECAUSE OH MY GOD!!

Next, re: Nicolo. Evidently he is a priest or a former priest or something of the sort in the graphic novel, which becomes a bit of a problem if we want him to actually FIGHT in the crusades for important and/or shallow and/or OTP purposes. (I don’t know if they address this somehow or Greg Rucka is not a medieval historian or whatever, but never mind.) It was a Major Thing that priests could not carry weapons, at least and especially bladed weapons. (In the Bayeux Tapestry, we have Odo, the bishop of Bayeux, fighting at the battle of Hastings with a truncheon because he’s a clergyman and can’t have a sword). They were super not supposed to shed blood, and a broadsword (such as the type that Nicky has and carries and is clearly very familiar with) is a knight’s weapon, not a clergyman’s. The thing about priests was that they were not supposed to get their hands dirty with physical warfare; they could (and often did) accompany crusade armies, bishops were secular overlords and important landholders, monks and hermits and other religious preachers were obviously part of a religious expedition, and yes, occasionally some priests would break the rules and fight in battle. But this was an exception FAR more than the rule. So if we’re going by accuracy, we have Nicky as a priest who doesn’t actively fight and doesn’t have a sword, we have him as a rule-breaking priest with a sword (which would have to be addressed, and the Templars, who were basically armed monks, weren’t founded until 1119 so he can’t be one of those yet if this is still 1099) or we just skip the priest part and have him as a crusader with a sword like any other soldier. If he was in fact a priest, he also wouldn’t be up to the same standard of sending into battle. Boys, especially younger sons of the nobility, often entered the church at relatively early ages (12 or 13), where it was treated as a career, and hence they stopped training in arms. So if Nicky is actually out there fighting and/or getting killed by Yusuf several times for Important Purposes, he’s... almost surely not a priest.

Iirc, they’ve already changed a few things from the graphic novel (I haven’t read it, but this is what I’ve heard) so they can also tweak things to make a new backstory or a hybrid-new backstory in film-verse. So once we’ve done all the above, we still have to decide how to handle the actual sack of Jerusalem and massacre of its inhabitants, the balance between violence comparable to the original TOG film and stopping short of being exploitative (which I think they would do well), and the aftermath of that and the founding of the new Latin Christian kingdom. It would have to, as again the original film does very well, avoid prioritizing the usual players and viewpoints in these events, and dig into presenting the experiences of the marginalized and way in which ordinary people are brought to the point of doing these things. It doesn’t (and frankly shouldn’t) preach at us that U.S. Invasions Of The Middle East Are Bad (especially since obviously none of the characters/people/places/events here are American at all). And as I said already but bears repeating: my god, don’t even THINK about making it GOT and marketing it as Gritty Dramatic Medieval History, You Know It’s Real Because They’re Dirty, Violent, and Bigoted!

Also, a couple tags I saw pop up were things like “Period-Typical Racism” and “Period-Typical Homophobia” and mmm okay obviously yes there are these elements, but what exactly is “period typical?” Does it mean “using these terms just because you figure everyone was less tolerant back then?” We know that I, with my endless pages of meta on medieval queer history, would definitely side-eye any attempts to paint these things as Worse Than Us, and the setting alone would convey a sense of the conflict without having to add on gratuitous microaggressions. I basically think the film needs to be made exactly like the original: centering the gay/queer perspectives of marginalized people and people of color, resisting the urge for crass jokes at the expense of the identity of its characters, and approaching it with an awareness of the deep complexity and personal meaning of these things to people in terms of the historical moment we’re in, while not making a film that ONLY prizes our response and our current crises. Because if we’re thinking about these historical genealogies, the least we can do (although we so often aren’t) is to be honest.

Thanks! I LOVED this question.

[ultramaga]

I remember even as a kid thinking that a simple magic item would be used by hospitals to solve a lot of our real world problems. I know they mention attunement here, but there was no such thing when I started, so you could have the hospital leasing out the item as needed, and keeping tight control over it. 

This is the one from the OGL: https://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic-items/rings/ring-of-regeneration/ No attunement, no barriers to sharing it. I mean, can you imagine how much of a game changer that would be? 

In real medieval history, being crippled meant a miserable life for most people. There were no pensions, and you had to hope you had had enough kids, so that their kids could look after you. The ring doesn’t reverse aging, true, but so many injuries could result in the loss of a body part. There was no surgery to reattach a big toe severed in a woodchopping accident.  I was reading about the battle of Hastings, and one of the reasons the French lost was that their helmets were really good against arrows so long as the knight was standing straight. But when you do that, if an arrow hits it can splinter, meaning a little bit of wood can shoot through an eye slit. If that doesn’t blind you straight away, maybe it just gives you an infection. 

Braille was himself blinded at the age of three in an accident that occurred while he was playing with tools in his father’s harness shop. A tool slipped and plunged into his right eye. Sympathetic ophthalmia and total blindness followed. So one eye gets injured, and soon you end up blind in both eyes. That could mean you become a beggar and live on the street, starving and desperate. There was no braille or guide dogs back then! But in a world with rings of regeneration, cure disease spells, etc, even a poor peasant could go to a church or a sage, and if that meant going into debt, I think most would still manage it. A child that had a debt to pay might have to go into service, but that wouldn’t be too bad of a life compared to the alternatives. How long does it take to regenerate an eye?  1d6 + 1 days. So maybe 4-5 days, a week at most. And as long as the patient is alive, they will regrow every lost body part.  If such a world existed, the market around those rings would be amazing. The elites would wear them constantly, just in case, but everyone else would check in to a centre to have access to one when they needed it. Market Price: 90,000 gp 1gp = $32.47 https://bullion.directory/what-if-gold-and-silver-prices-followed-dungeons-and-dragons-rules/ So it would be the equivalent of $2,922,300 to own one. Not cheap, but I can imagine the very wealthy having them, and having guards to make sure they are not stolen, and it being a crime for the non elite to have one without a very good reason.  Compare to an MRI:   Low-field machines range approximately from $150,000 to $1.2 million. In comparison, a 3 Tesla machine can go up to $3 million. So it’s the equivalent of a high end MRI, except you have to be using it exclusively for a much longer time. Sure, not many villages would have one, but I can imagine they would be owned in city centres, under tight security, and you would probably be in something like a prison while it was doing its job.  Not to mention, unlike MRIs, they don’t naturally break down or wear out (well, relatively). I suppose wearing them for hundreds or even thousands of years must wear them down, but I haven’t heard of too many people eroding through wedding bands.  Not to mention I would expect the costs would probably go down as the economy focused on producing them. 

So adventurers would probably pay for their treatments as a normal cost, assuming they don’t have access to clerical magics or a critical hit system was in play like in rolemaster.  But even a normal soldier could probably expect even the most severe of injuries would be treatable. It would raise morale considerably to know your feudal lord would make sure you weren’t going to be a cripple if the battle went badly, and the Baron would rather have the cost of repairing existing soldiers rather than trying to replace them. Plus in fantasy terms, the repaired soldier has gained experience, and is tougher as a result. In medieval history terms, if the archer who trained from the time they could walk had fingers cut off by an enemy, well, shortly after, that archer is back on the field, and is now even more motivated. A reminder, medieval archers trained so hard that it warped their skeletons. It’s a heck of an investment. Crossbows and gunpowder troops might have taken a few weeks to train up for the battle, and so be much more expendable. https://www.reddit.com/r/Archery/comments/4op5n0/skeletonreconstruction_of_an_english_archer/ https://www.forbes.com/sites/kristinakillgrove/2015/09/30/brawny-bones-reveal-10th-century-hungarian-warriors-were-accomplished-archers/?sh=20663535f710 Worlds with healing magic/tech might get very blase about the levels of risk in training exercises. Your hand is stabbed? Walk it off ya pansy!

And in Star Trek DS9, it seemed like people were always going to the infirmary to have bones fixed up after a bout of Klingon Sex. 

Those chicks played rough!

>Cleric approaches you

>Attempts to convince you their God can solve all your problems

>Really lays it on thick

>Go along with it

>Approach temple to become a convert

>Cleric can't join you

>Temple isn't wheelchair accessible

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

Sonic X Theory: the other Ultimate Lifeforms

In Sonic X’s adaptation of Sonic Adventure 2, they make an interesting claim about the Ultimate Lifeform prototypes on the ARK. When Rouge hacks into the base, she informs Shadow of one thing- he wasn’t the only prototype from Project Shadow that escaped the ARK massacre. 

[ID: screenshots from Sonic X: one of Rouge looking up Project Shadow, surprised and reading “Shadow? Secure and dispose?” Another shot of two escape pods falling towards a planet, with the caption from a GUN soldier: “Our mission ended when we sealed away the prototype of the ultimate lifeform.” End ID.] 

Rouge makes the claim that neither of these escape pods was Shadow... so in X Canon, is Shadow even who he thinks he is? And just as importantly... who are the other prototypes? 

Full theory under the cut. 

So first off. Let’s look at Rouge’s claim that Shadow isn’t who he thinks he is.

Part One: Is Shadow from the ARK?

[ID: screenshots from Sonic X of Rouge and Shadow talking, with the following dialogue:

Rouge: This is the progress report for Project Shadow, a plan to create the ultimate life form. The body they created is still held there.

Shadow: I know. That’s a prototype. I’m the Ultimate Lifeform they created afterwards- 

Rouge: Two capsules were ejected when the ARK was shut down. But neither was found. They couldn’t lock up in prison what they couldn’t find. Do you understand? I wonder who you really are.

Shadow looks troubled. End ID.] 

So two capsules were ejected and neither was found in the fifty years it’s been since the accident-- except I think Rouge is wrong about one thing. Shadow is who he thinks he is- because his capsule was sent out alone. It must have somehow not been logged. 

How do we know this? Shadow’s flashback of being sent away and the man who worked for GUN are completely different- first of all, the GUN soldier doesn’t remember her saying anything to Shadow, or Shadow even being there- it seems that she died to send away something or someone else. Second- Maria is in a different position around the lever in both flashbacks. See the GUN soldier’s first-- 

Though we don’t see the full room, we get the sense that it’s small from the other shots that I don’t have the time to screenshot. She’s around an elevated platform not attached to a wall, and either facing the pod she’s sending away or in a completely different room. 

But, both of Shadow’s alternate memories of Maria sending him away-- the first one more stylized, the second one we can assume more real-- neither looks like this. 

In both, she’s in a differing position. In the sepia flashback, she’s not facing him, and pulling a lever attached to a wall. In the second flashback, she’s already on the floor, and the lever pad we see would cause her to be facing away from Shadow. In neither of these do we see any evidence that anyone other than Shadow and Maria are in the room or even nearby. 

Shadow also has enough evidence he’s who he thinks he is- he has the right powerset, the GUN soldier says that they did, indeed, seal away an Ultimate Prototype, Gerald mentions Shadow enough in his monologues, and... honestly there’s really no evidence that he isn’t Shadow, other than the two pods. And two pods? Shadow was sent out alone, we saw no evidence of a second pod in either flashback. So he wasn’t with anyone else. 

So what’s the conclusion? The conclusion is that these are two different events- one where Maria releases Shadow, and one where she releases another- or, possibly, the others, the two pods that were logged as escaping. 

Maria either freed Shadow first and then the other two, or she freed the first two, got shot, and then managed to survive long enough to send Shadow away. Either way-- these events are separate.  

So what was in the other two pods? Two other prototypes of the Ultimate Lifeform, clearly, but nothing like the Biolizard, they’re too small. 

Now let me ask you something... wouldn’t it make sense for the Ultimate Prototypes to look similar, if they were similar lifeforms? 

And who do we know who looks similar to Shadow? 

Part Two: Sonic is an Ultimate Lifeform

[ID: Shadow looking down at Sonic, and saying, “I see. We actually do look alike. It’s like looking in a mirror.” End ID.] 

Okay so like. Unless you’re very colorblind I think you’ve noticed that Shadow and Sonic are completely different colors. But let’s ignore that for now-- they do have a very similar silhouette... in fact, Shadow’s silhouette is incredibly close to SuperSonic, which is Sonic at full power. And in-universe, they look similar enough that in low lighting pretty much nobody can tell them apart. 

And not just that- Sonic has a lot of power for a seemingly “normal” mobian. [Yes, I know they don’t use the term “Mobius” in Sonic X but let me simplify this somehow.] His superspeed, ability to survive so much shit... he’s powerful enough that he presents a rival for Shadow without chaos emeralds (though Shadow is nerfed a little by the Inhibitor Rings- more on that later). 

[ID: Sonic and Shadow racing; they are keeping up with each other. Shadow says, “It seems your appearance isn’t the only thing that’s similar to me. Who are you?” Sonic responds, “I’m me.” End ID.] 

Shadow’s right- their appearance isn’t where the resemblance stops. And of course there’s probably the most damning similarity-- they are the only two characters we see go Super and have the ability to control the Chaos Emeralds.

[ID: First image is SuperSonic and SuperShadow, having absorbed the power of the chaos emeralds. Second image is from the Third Season, where a MetaRex shouts, “There are two individuals [referring to Sonic and Shadow] who can draw out the power of the Chaos Emeralds?” End ID.] 

Oh and SPEAKING OF Sonic/Shadow similarities-- there’s a scene in Season Three where Sonic is being lectured by the villain about how all life ends eventually so why bother etc. and Sonic says that life is worth the good bits, all that jazz. Here’s the scene:

And exactly 1:25 in.... guess what starts playing

This song is scarily similar to “Recollection of the Ark”... Shadow’s sad song about his memories of the ARK... while Sonic is being lectured about still having faith in humanity. You know. Like MARIA WANTED.

Interesting how we know absolutely nothing about Sonic’s past, huh-- pretty much all we have before he meets Tails is that he says he’s fifteen years old, but honestly... are we even sure about that? First of all, if Sonic was revived alone, there wouldn’t be a way to tell his age, he’d probably just accept the first age someone assigned him. 

Alternatively, we know from the end of Season Two and the beginning of Season Three that time works in a very wonky way from Earth to Mobius- in the ~2-3 days Sonic’s alone with Chris, a week passes on Mobius, despite the fact we know he can chaos control at any time. In the third season? Six years pass on Earth while six months pass on Mobius. So time doesn’t really work in a reasonable way, meaning it’s possible that Sonic is fifteen... and he lived fifteen years on Mobius after awakening, while fifty years passed on Earth. 

And we know for a fact that travel between Mobius and Earth was possible even before the events of Season One... because Eggman was born on Earth.

[ID: Eggman looking shocked and turning around in a chair, announcing, “I was born in this world!” End ID.]

Eggman was born on Earth and somehow ended up on Mobius-- but he was young enough he didn’t realize until he saw that Gerald lived on Earth. So was he in the second escape pod? It’s possible, but I don’t think so-- he’d have to have information on Gerald, and it seems he had a picture of Gerald and Maria, so it’s likely he traveled with a parent or guardian, or at least some kind of family history, which I doubt Maria would think to store in an escape pod while everyone was running for their lives. This plot element was probably just to set up that travel between the dimensions happens more than we think. 

Neither escape pod from the ARK was recovered, probably because they ended up on Mobius. 

It’s most likely that they Chaos Controlled into the other dimension-- I know I said Maria probably wouldn’t think to store anything other than the lifeform themselves in the pod, but if the lifeform needed Chaos Emeralds to practice/control their powers, or the Chaos Emeralds were already stored in an escape pod for safekeeping-- or if, possibly, GUN was attempting to capture the Chaos Emeralds as well, and the Robotniks knew that they would use them in a destructive way-- all that combined could mean that the emeralds would also be important enough to send away in a pod. 

If even one of the pods had Chaos Emeralds, it’s possible that the lifeform inside could have sensed danger and unconsciously teleported them to the most safe place from GUN-- another world where GUN didn’t exist and couldn’t reach them. And even better-- a world where mobians like them lived. 

From Sonic X lore that I don’t have the time to find and screencap, we know that the two worlds used to be the same but split at some point in history. If this was after, say, the events of Chaos destroying the Echidnas-- which, sidenote, interesting how they disappear and nobody knows where they went, so it’s possible that Chaos straight-up split the dimensions just to get rid of the Echidnas-- then enough of their lore could remain. Old cave paintings, wall carvings, etc., could show enough mobians that scientists could probably think “oh, wow, that looks like a god figure. might as well design our ultimate lifeform after that, esp since they had this god that could control chaos and the chaos emeralds came from here.” 

Wanna know what’s interesting about those ancient echidna temples? Guess who’s there-- if we go by Sonic 3 & Knuckles, a game that ofc had been released by the time X was being written...

SuperSonic. 

Both the ultimate form of Sonic, and the silhouette of Shadow. 

So let’s say they find this on the ARK studies, and they’re like “okay so our ultimate lifeform goal is a hedgehog. Got it.” There’s two options after this:

They make Sonic, but deem him a failure for reasons and cryo-freeze him until they need him or can release him. They then proceed to make Shadow, who they believe actually is their ultimate lifeform. 

They made Shadow first, but after a while kept experimenting and making more prototypes, just in case, or possibly because they decided Shadow wasn’t powerful enough. However, the prototypes weren’t ready to awaken before the ARK massacre, Shadow never met them. 

So as I’ve made clear, I’m pretty sure that one of those prototypes was Sonic-- who, of course, has no idea. Either he only entered consciousness after arriving in Mobius, or his memories of the ARK were so vague, traumatic, early, or a combo, that his mind blocked them out. Either way, it doesn’t matter, what matters is that he and Shadow are both prototypes, which is what gives Sonic his power. 

And Sonic’s power, btw, isn’t limited like Shadow’s. Because he doesn’t have inhibitor rings. 

If prototype!Sonic was sent away with inhibitor rings, he ditched them. Which would make sense, especially if he woke up with no memory of the ARK and didn’t know why these weird bracelets were on his arm. He would notice that the rings slowed him down and ditch them fast. And that’s assuming they even stuck rings on the prototype. 

But if we do assume they stuck rings on the prototypes... maybe we can find the other lifeform that was sent away along with Sonic. 

Part Three: Who is the Third Ultimate Lifeform?

Okay. Let’s do a headcount. 

Who, in Sonic X, 

Existed on Mobius at the same time as Sonic, 

Doesn’t appear to have a lot of power but has a lot of incredible strength if you pay attention, 

Sometimes shows strange abilities, such as far leaps into the air, a speed great enough that they can sometimes catch up to Sonic (though not as great, possibly because of the inhibition), even potentially the ability to summon weapons out of thin air, 

Looks similar to the Mobian Hedgehog-- or, perhaps, with influences from a Mobian Echidna, who were the ones who had the SuperSonic glyphs in the first place, and thus could potentially serve as a design point, 

Wears rings around their wrists at all times?

[ID: Amy Rose being absurdly powerful in several screencaps, often glowing; though this is normal anime expressionwork, it is something that exclusively happens to Amy in Sonic X. End iD.]

And, of course, this beauteous moment: 

[ID: A scene from the season two finale of Sonic X. Eggman’s ship, on which Amy’s hammer is stuck, is high above her, and Eggman taunts “It doesn’t matter if you’re angry because your hammer is stuck up here!” In the following image, a moving gif, Amy summons a hammer out of thin air, a puff of smoke coming from it, as she is still glowing with a fire-like energy. Eggman’s robots shout “She has another one! How many does she have?” End ID.]

That’s right! This was all an excuse to spout out my “Amy Rose could kill God” propaganda! But it’s not propaganda if I’m right!

Part Four: The Lifeforms

So. It’s been a couple months since I made this post, but I was rewatching Sonic X with my sister, and we did notice that you do see prototype lifeforms for a flash in the GUN soldier’s story.

[ID: Screenshots from Sonic X; The GUN soldier narrates his story, as we see GUN soldiers arresting scientists, while standing in front of empty tubes of bubbling green liquid. The caption reads, “There were many rumors about ARK. Such as doing research for eternal life or creating the Ultimate Life Form.” The GUN soldier steps to a tube that has something in it. End ID.]

We see a brief flash of an experimental lifeform in this memory, as seen above; we also see two more, the ones that were explicitly stated to be the ones Maria was freeing.

[ID: Screenshots from later in the same episode of Sonic X, the first showing two tubes with dark figures inside, surrounded by dark blue bubbling water. The next screenshot shows Maria preparing to free them, with the captions reading “An experimental life form? She’s planning to free it!” End ID.]

So, these silhouettes. Let’s uh. Let’s take a look at those huh

Now, the bodies are too thick to be standard mobian bodies- but we can also see wires attached to the prototypes, as well as, you know, whatever that liquid is. It’s entirely possible there’s something wrapped around their bodies, to keep them safe/asleep/etc.

But..... ok so I might be reaching here but analyzing the face silhouettes, using red lines to mark quills and green to mark potential laid-back ears, it really could be long-quilled sonic and short-quilled Amy.

As well as this, in the shot of the GUN soldier looking at a prototype, I swear I can see a mobian ear.

tl;dr this is all fascinating me and I think we should let the Sonic X crew return to making this show as if they never left so that we can get answers to this

[dreadwulf]

Through the Fire, To the Limit, To the Wall

part one  

part two  

part three 

the original Part Four, which will now be Five

(Here’s a surprise chapter of Ring of Fire! Or at least it was a surprise for me. This will actually slot in as chapter 4 on AO3, as it takes place before Jaime arrives at King’s Landing in the Burning Down the House chapter.)

For Podrick, at least, it is a beautiful day.

He had been awakened with a surly shout by the Commander's squire Peck, who called the boys to order like they were real soldiers, and they had clamoured up and out of their beds with a minimum of dawdling and giggling. They were all ages and sizes, and they lined up by height, rearranging themselves anew every day with Pod shoved somewhere in the middle. 

When everyone else had been sent to break their fast, he, Podrick, had been taken on a special mission, stealthily retrieving Oathkeeper from the armory tent. Peck had distracted the quartermaster with conversation while Pod slipped inside, and he had been quiet as a mouse searching through the weaponry to find the valyrian steel sword enclosed in a fine case lined with velvet. The blade stood nearly as tall as him, and he had to smuggle it under his cloak, holding tight to the scabbard with his hands behind his back and even then he looked to have a second head, but somehow no one had questioned him when he reappeared at Peck’s side and they managed to steal away together without raising any alarm. 

Peck’s praise for that had been nearly as great a reward as being allowed to swing the sword himself, for just a few moments, before they put it back in the scabbard and brought it to the wood where Ser Jaime awaited them. 

Ser Brienne had been there as well. She stood right next to the Commander and yet they had looked very far apart. But still, she had smiled to see Podrick, and the two of them had been set on a pretty chestnut horse and sent riding off into a new adventure -- leaving Pod’s new friends behind, but back together with his lady knight, a squire once more.

All in all, it is a wonderful start to a day, and it is still yet morning. 

“Did you enjoy your time in the Lannister camp, Podrick?” Ser Brienne asks him. She rides ahead of him, while the squire grips her waist, and she turns her head only a little to address him, so that he cannot see her face.

“Oh yes, milady,” Pod answers her excitedly. “Do you think we could go back for a visit someday?”

She turns away at that, and does not answer. 

They ride without speaking for some time. They look to be going east, with the sun stabbing directly at them through the trees. He holds onto her only lightly. Pod knows she had been badly hurt, is still recovering, and he does not want to pain her. He wonders if she is really recovered - any time he catches a glimpse of her face, her brow is furrowed with pain. Perhaps they should have stayed with the Lannister army a day longer. 

“Where will we ride to next, milady Ser?” he pipes up. 

Still she does not answer.

Ser Brienne has always kept herself to herself, and Podrick is accustomed to this. He feels fine riding silently with her, and today it is especially grand to be in her company again. It’s always all right either way, whether he talks or not. If he stammers she will not laugh at him, or hurry him along impatiently and push him through each sentence as Lord Tyrion used to. No, the quiet around her has room for him to finish his thoughts, and often in her company his stuttering lifts and he can speak quite normally. Or he can be quiet as a mouse, and she will not think him stupid or forget he is there.

There is often a great deal on her mind, and sometimes she is lost in her thoughts and does not answer him. But Ser Brienne remembers things he says even if she doesn’t reply. She always remembers Pod. She always makes sure he has food to eat and a warm place to sleep. She has been teaching him to fight with a sword, just because he asked her to, and she is a patient and forgiving teacher. If she promises him something she will do it without fail. She is solid and reliable and when there is danger she will be there to meet it first of anyone, and she would never run off and forget him or abandon him to a nasty fate. He knows that as surely as he knows the sun will rise. Pod is safe around Ser Brienne, though that is not a word or a sense that he is familiar with. He does not remember having a single home, or parents, but he remembers sleeping soundly under the stars with Ser Brienne watchful over him in the dark night, and that feeling must be much the same. 

Brienne stops them just before they reach Maidenpool. A train of wagons are rolling out of the growing settlement with a moderate guard. They wait a little ways back from the road.

“Lord Tarly’s men,” Podrick identifies the banner. “Allies of King Renly, and of the Tyrells.”

“Lord Tarly is no ally of mine,” she says darkly, and in a lower tone adds, “but what allies have I left?”

He tugs at her sleeve. “Should we tell him of Ser Hyle?” 

Ser Brienne frowns harder somehow. “What would we tell him? No. We avoid Lord Tarly for now.”

When the train has passed, they ride cautiously into Maidenpool. The streets are crowded, but all are about their own business -- moving livestock, doing morning chores. No one gives them a second glance. 

They pass the bathhouse, newly festooned in banners to cover the faded bloodstains on the stone. Women congregate all around it, dressed in bright colors, hair wet and shining in the morning sun.

“Maidenpool looks a fair sight better than it did when we saw it last,” Podrick says, attempting to be cheerful.

He expects her to still be surly and silent, and he is surprised when she stops the horse and answers him instead.

“When first I saw this place, the waters were bloated with corpses, and the streets filled only with burnt-out husks of buildings. Archers ambushed us here, and Ser Jaime and I fought them off.”

Pod blinks back at her. That must have been when Ser Jaime had been her prisoner, on the journey back to King’s Landing. She speaks of that rarely, even less than she speaks of everything. And then she looks back at him, as though she has just remembered that he is there.

“Do you know the tale of Jonquil’s Pool?” Brienne asks him abruptly.

“Yes, milady.” Pod offers it eagerly, leaning towards her. “The knight Ser Florian the Fool saw the lady Jonquil bathing there with her sisters, and he fell in love. Or at least, that’s the part I know.”

Brienne’s expression is distant and unreadable. She looks at the ladies going in and out of the bathhouse, and holds the reins tightly in her hands.

“He was a homely man, Florian. Picture him more patchwork than shining. His armor was mismatched and his reputation spotted. He was only a hedge knight and not well-born. He was no possible match for a highborn maid. But when he saw Jonquil in the bath he could not help but fall in love with her, for she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Despite everything, he could not help himself. And in time he won her heart, through many trials and heartaches, he won her.” 

Pod shrugs. “Those songs are for girls perhaps. I haven’t heard those parts. They never sang them for me.”

“Perhaps they are.” She darkens palpably, her face dipping down into shadow. “I used to love those songs. When I was a girl, or something like it. But I admit it was foolish, Pod. Life isn’t a song.”

She spurs her horse to ride on.  

“Could you sing it for me, milady?” His innocent face turns up to her. “One of the songs about Florian and Jonquil?”

She snorts. “Ser Jaime could have sung you Six Maidens in a Pool, with great enthusiasm.”

There is an odder silence after that. 

“Do you want to look at the pool, milady Ser? We could stop at the Bathhouse.”

“I’ve never seen it,”  she concedes faintly. “Though I’ve been past this way thrice before. But it’s a place for fine ladies, Pod. Not for me.”

Instead they stop at a stream on the other side of Maidenpool. This one is a fairly ordinary pool, fed by a small spring. Before the winter there would have been flowers, and one can see where they would have been. Now there are only sickly shrubs. The water, though, is lovely and clear. 

Brienne dismounts her horse and kneels, suddenly, at the side of the stream. For an odd moment, it seems as though she will remove her riding gear and wade into it. She did after all never get that bath she had been promised. Instead she only leans forward and cups her hands in the water, splashing her face. She leaves her hands covering her face a moment too long, and when she removes them she stares down into the mirrored surface of the water for a long while. 

“Pod,” she says very seriously, “did you fare well amongst the boys at the camp? Were you well treated?”

“Yes Milady,” Pod nods eagerly. “They have their own tent and it’s bigger, much bigger than the one we use, and dry and warm and they sing and tell tales all the night through. Then we rode in the wagons and slept when the army moved and at dusk we could run and play until full dark and then we got real meat to eat. Jossmyn Peck, Ser Jaime’s squire, he said he would spar with me sometime, we never did though…”

Brienne nods back slowly. “Were they frightened? The other boys?”

Pod frowns at her quizzically. “No. Should they be?”

“I suppose not.” Brienne looks up and down the road swiftly. “Would you like to go back to them for a time?”

He frowns harder. “Aren’t we on a quest, milady?”  

“I am. You are not.” She stands. 

“I’m your squire.”

“I don’t have a squire. I’m not a knight.” She rubs her face again, leaving it wet and shining. “I’m a foolish girl who’s a long way from home, and I don’t know what to do next.”

“You are a knight really.” Pod argues with her stubbornly. “You’re the best knight I’ve ever seen, better than the Kingsguard and Ser Hyle and the knights we met on the road--”

“But I’m not. I thought I could be, if I were only so perfect and honorable that no one could find any fault in me, and I could fight better than everyone else, then they would have to knight me, they would have no choice. But I’m none of those things, Pod. I promised to protect Lady Catelyn, and instead she was slain. I promised to see her daughters freed from King’s Landing and they were already gone. I promised to see Ser Jaime safe to King’s Landing, and he lost his hand along the way. I promised to rescue Lady Sansa, and I cannot find her, much less see her safely home. I promised to restore Ser Jaime’s honor, and instead I betrayed him.”

“We can still find Lady Sansa,” the boy says stubbornly. “We haven’t looked everywhere yet.”

“We have no leads. There was only rumor to go on and even that has run dry. She could be anywhere now, she could be in the North or in the Reach, or in the Vale, or even across the Narrow Sea. We cannot search everywhere.” Her head bows forward, and her cheeks are wet.  “And what would I say if ever I found her? Shall I tell her how I failed her mother, and what she became? How then would I convince her that I can protect her? I cannot even convince myself.”

“You can protect her! You can protect anybody!”

“No, I can’t. I couldn’t protect Dick Crabb, I couldn’t protect Ser Hyle Hunt or Septon Merribald, I couldn’t protect the children at the orphanage, and I couldn’t protect you.” Her eyes fix, noticeably, on Podrick’s neck, where he knows an angry red burn around his throat still marks him. “I will never be knighted, and there is no place that I belong. Perhaps I should just return home.”

Brienne looks very sad. She has looked this way ever since they left the camp this morning. 

Podrick hates how sad she looks. He wracks his brain for something to say that might make her not look so sad. 

“Don’t worry, Pod,” Ser Brienne interrupts his thoughts. She is trying to smile. “All will be well.”

Podrick recognizes this smile. He has seen it before.

Ser Jaime had been angry when Podrick had met him, though he was trying not to show it. He had reassured him, and even made jokes, but something had seethed beneath it. The golden commander had been formidable in his anger, a towering fit of ire, and it had frightened him. The Lion of Lannister, the Kingslayer, had a famous temper fit to topple kingdoms. In the face of it he had stammered and stumbled over his words and the man had been like to snap his head off in frustration, so impatient he had been. 

“P-please ser,” he had finally pleaded with him. “It should be me imp...p-prisoned and not her. She only meant to free me; she begged them not to m-make her do it. She begged them. Ser Brienne would not betray a friend, it was m-me, she did it for me. P-put me on a stake in the ground and let her go.”

Ser Jaime had abruptly left him when he said that, with an expression more of pain than anger.

Podrick thinks on him now as a lion with a wounded paw roaring to keep everyone back. The second time he had met him the lion had been only wounded and not roaring, and not quite so frightening. He had been kinder to him, that time. He had smiled more, but the smiles did not reach his eyes. He had many more questions that time, mostly about Ser Brienne. Though he had called her Lady, which felt strange. Lady Brienne. No one else on their journey had ever addressed her so, and not with that lightly mocking tone which somehow sounded fond and not cruel. He asked, the Lion, if Lady Brienne had ever spoken of him, and Podrick had to tell him no. 

What he should have told him was that her silence on that matter had been very loud indeed. That his Lady kept certain things unspoken, and most of all those closest to her heart. He should have told the Lion how she had unwrapped Oathkeeper, the blade he had given her, only at night when she thought no one was looking and stared upon it, and ran her fingers over the jewels and the lions in the pommel, and wrapped it most carefully afterwards, handled it as though it were the most precious thing that she had, the most beloved. 

But he told the Lion no, because he did not know how to explain the other part, and she had never spoken of it. And the Lion had been unsurprised, and he had smiled a false smile, and sent him out to play in the snow, and Podrick had not thought of it again until now, when Ser Brienne shows him the same smile. 

They must have the same wound, somehow. A blow which had carved them in twain, and they did not know how to put themselves back together. 

Podrick knows little and less of how two people might rebuild that kind of trust. But the memory jars something else in him, a memory of the Lannister brother that he knew far better. Lord Tyrion, the Imp, who had been kind to Podrick, if a little dismissive. He had said a thousand wise things, and even read aloud to him, from time to time. And there had been a book there in his quarters, or even several books, about the great knights and the Age of Heroes. There is something there, faint in his memory, that he knows will be important.

Podrick stands up and speaks eagerly, without stammering. “At King’s Landing, I squired for Tyrion Lannister. Lord Tyrion was a smart man. He used to read a whole book every day! And he said, I remember, he said... that there were no knights in the Age of Heroes, they came later, with the Anders--”

“Andals--” she corrects him quietly.

“--right. The Andals had knights, but Westeros didn’t, not then. The heroes before they came were just heroes. But we call them knights anyway, even though they weren’t actually knighted like we do it now. They weren’t really knights!”

“That’s hardly the point--”

“The point is, it doesn’t matter what they really were. They’re knights now, whether people then called them that or not. Because of what they did. Because they were great.”

Her hands make fists. “They were great. They did great things. I haven’t done anything but lose.”

“They probably didn’t always win! We just don’t sing songs about those parts. Maybe they lost and lost and lost and they kept trying until they did something great, and that’s the part we remember now. Not the hard parts.”

Brienne looks down into the pool.

"If they never knighted you, it wouldn’t change the things you did. You would still have killed the bandits in the Saltpans. You would still have stopped that awful Rorge from hurting the children at the crossroads."

"But I don’t want to be merely a killer. I want to keep my promises. I want to be honorable." Her hair falls over her face, obscuring the terrible scars on her cheek. "I couldn't keep my oath to Lady Catelyn without breaking faith with Ser Jaime. I had to choose. If I cannot keep my oaths, if honor is denied me, what is left?"

But she seems to know the answer. She brushes her hair back behind her ears and sighs, and she sounds much older than before.

“There is something… something I feel I must do. But I don’t know if I’m brave enough. This task I cannot fail in, and I do not know if I can succeed.”

“You should try,” Pod pushes. 

“If I am a true knight,” she says hesitantly, and then more firmly, “then I must protect the realm, and defend the innocent. Less than a day’s ride from here, Pod, there is an invading army coming to kill King Tommen. He’s only a boy, even younger than you. And he is Ser Jaime’s son. I may have failed in the quest he gave me, but I might be able to help him defend the King. I must do whatever I can. Do you understand Pod? I have to.” 

 Pod brightens. This sounds more like the Brienne he knows. “I can help.”

“No,” she says sharply. “No. This part I must do alone. I can risk myself for this, but I will not risk you.”

“You would leave me behind?”

“I will come back.” She puts her hands on his shoulders. “If I yet live I will come back for you, Pod, and we’ll look for Lady Sansa. And for Lord Tyrion too, I know you wanted to rejoin him…”

“I want to stay with you,” Pod says miserably. 

Brienne looks surprised. Then her expression softens, briefly, and she squeezes his shoulders.

 “I will not be riding to battle, Podrick, not the way you’re thinking. I cannot be of help on the battlefield without knowing his plans, but I can try to get into the city ahead of the invasion, and protect the King and the Queen Regent. I will have to disguise myself, and there would be no way to bring you along. But do not worry, I would not go off and forget you. Not for Ser Jaime, not for anyone. I gave Ser Jaime to the Brotherhood to make sure you would be safe."

Pod’s face falls. Could it be his fault that Ser Lady Brienne and Ser Jaime are so unhappy? 

"I’m s-s-sorry,” he stammers.

"Don’t be sorry!” she says quickly, wiping at his face with her thumb. “I’m not sorry. Because of that you are here and alive and well. I could never be sorry for that. But now Ser Jaime is the one who needs my help. He thinks he will not win this battle, but he will go anyway, to try to save his son. I fear he will perish in the attempt. I cannot allow that to happen.”

Brienne’s face takes on a strange light then, one that Podrick will long remember.

“The knights in the songs would risk their lives to save a fair maiden from danger. Ser Jaime is not a maiden, but... If there is any chance I might save him from a ghastly fate I must try. I know it must seem foolish. I can’t explain it, but… it’s like a song, Podrick, a song I hear in my heart. Like when Ser Galladon went out to face the dragon, or when Florian met Jonquil. They knew which way their destiny lay, and they rode to meet it. I must do the same, or else be a coward forever. I only hope I can live up to their example.”

Podrick does not want to let her go again so soon. But if she doesn’t go, he knows, she will let herself down, and it will make her even sadder. Perhaps if she can help Ser Jaime, it will heal this wound of hers. Perhaps they could heal each other.  

“You can do it, milady ser. You can do anything.” He puts all the enthusiasm he can muster into his encouragement. “You’re the best sword-fighter in the world. You can take a few Targaryens.”

Brienne smiles genuinely, a gap-toothed, shy smile that he has never seen before.

“That’s going a bit far, Pod, but I shall do my best. You’re right, even if I cannot be a true knight, I can still protect the innocent and do what’s right. And if I cannot fight for honor, I can still fight for love.” 

Podrick beams. “What can I do to help?”

“You can go and stay with the other boys at the Lannister camp. Jaime won’t take them to war. I think he will leave an ancillary camp behind with the boys, and anyone else he would like to save. The boys, and his squire, and perhaps your cousin too. When you find them there, they will look after you until I return. Find them, and wait for me. Will you do that for me, Pod? So I wont worry?”

He nods. Because he has to, because she needs him to. He’s only just found her again, but he has to let her go. He can see it now - she is a true knight, and she is on a quest to a place he can’t follow. As her squire, he will have to do as she commands. 

He will go, and he will take great gulps of air to choke back the tears until she can’t see him anymore. 

She gives him much of the coin that Ser Jaime had left her, and all of the supplies too. She takes only the hound’s helmet, and Oathkeeper, and leaves him her horse. 

Brienne kneels before him before he takes his leave. “Keep practicing while I’m gone. Every day, the sword forms and the footwork. Will you?”

Pod nods wordlessly, to keep himself from stammering or sobbing. 

“I will return, I promise I will. I came back to the Brotherhood for you and I will come back to you this time. You’re my squire and as long as I live I will come back for you.”

Pod stares into her eyes resolutely. “No matter what. Promise.”

She stares back. “I promise.”

Pod throws his arms around her neck. At first she is still, but then her big arms wrap around him and pull him flush against her,  and she holds him so tightly he can scarcely breathe. She whispers, “thank you,” into his hair, again and again. He does not know what she is thanking him for.

[nothisis-ridiculous]

Take Me Home Now: Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten: Another Mother's Breakin'

Set after the events of ME3.

A rewrite. Ao3.

FemShepxKaidan

"Jane."

The recruit let the knocking go on for a third round, slowly shaking herself from the rickety cot. While these digs were nothing as fancy as the bunk back at the mall, the privacy was a paradise. Blank, dull, metal-lined walls were a price she was willing to pay over the colorful and plant-lined walls of the barracks. The humming noise of life rebuilding, no she belonged in the silence.

"Jane." This time her name was a statement, backed by a hint of threat.

"Just a moment," she groaned, rubbing the crust from the inner corners of her eyes, pushing sore muscles upright and forcing a shirt over her head but allowing it to fall at its own pace. Her pupils narrowed at the sudden influx of light filling her half of the crate, "morning?"

Helen looked her up and down, that damned frown a returning friend, "you should put a comb through that hair."

"For fuck's sa-"

The woman made a sudden jerk, but it stopped with a simple raising of her arm, brushing aside a fallen lash, "language, dear."

"Sorry," Jane's eyebrows narrowed, had she forgotten she was not a child, "why are you here?"

"Because we are going out."

"Don't I have three more days?" Jane returned.

The older woman in a rare admittance of defeat sighed, offering back a raised eyebrow, "you're well aware that was a ruse."

"I knew it!" she didn't.

"Yes, let's be proud that you are stubborn as they warned," Helen retorted with a hint of a smirk, "but you should be ready. I'm not going to let you slide and get breakfast, either!"

Yes, this encampment was a military installment, but it gave no reason to ready herself with the rest of the soldiers. Since Rahna had given up on her she did little to get out of her bunk. So far, her secret remained, but pushing it by becoming a regular around camp seemed too big of a risk. Evelyn gave her some reason to get out, but the kid quickly found friends. Within days she was no longer needed, though the shit still visited at least once a day that prodded her into some form of semblance. The lack of duties cemented her decision to remain secluded, bidding her time with the running videos in her head.

"So why me?" Jane pressed once they cleared the base by a few thousand meters, pulling the ration bar from her mouth.

The woman's dark eyes turned cross, "and don't you waste those rations."

"You'll never want them again after fresh produce," Jane murmured, swallowing down the bland brick of nutrition in three bites.

"The second reason for coming out here," Helen handed over a pistol, "fresh meat and pest removal."

"You know, someplace on Illium would sell Varren skewers as a delicacy," Jane overlooked the pistol with a grin, "man, could that krogan grill up a mean varren skewer."

"The pistol is back up; you should use biotics. No stunts," she warned without heed of her companion's previous comment.

"I'm a paragon of caution," Jane mumbled in response, deciding then it was best to follow after the woman in silence. Pausing only as her leader stopped.

"No stunts," a finger waggled at her, "that kid and her grandfather want you back, and I intend to see that through, despite your best attempts."

Jane giggled, "the LT would love that one."

"Dismiss it all you like, whinge that someone cares about your sorry hide," the woman spat, "you're being selfish. Everyone is hurting if you haven't noticed."

Jane's face drew blank, "while it's true, doesn't it feel better to be pissed off? To be angry that everything is changed? Fuck everyone else. I'm hurting." She looked over the horizon, directly into the blue beam that connected to the Citadel. It seemed so tiny from here, so insignificant.

Helen's gaze followed Jane's gaze, "trying to remember how much worse it could be rarely helps."

"I like to make myself feel better by telling myself that I'm angering out of grief; it's one of the stages, right? But what is there after it? I don't want to let it go and accept my world is gone," Jane's voice mellowed to a whisper, "acceptance is terrifying. It means you have to move forward."

They shared a silent moment together, connecting with a brief touch—neither alone as they thought.

"Who did you lose?"

"My heart."

"Who did you lose?"

"...my heart."

Horizon- Horizon was an awkward fumbling in the dark. An overhanded display The Illusive Man decided to lord over her. He knew her strings and just how to pluck them to make her dance to his tune. Pulling Kaidan into the entire mess with the Collectors was a threat. But as messy and powerless as the knowledge of what the Illusive Man would take from her was the undercurrent of hope. It was foolish to be caught up in the giddy excitement of returned love, But Kaidan loved her. The first confession and bitter tug on her heart. She should have told him then.

Mars- Mars was just as awkward. Running, sliding, and dodging bullets after months of being cooped up in a small apartment awaiting trial. Sideways glances, and a Major who wouldn't stop dogging her every step. He questioned, prodded, and accused her of terrible things. Granted, she well deserved it. He was so close, so in sync as if the years were mere minutes... yet the distance between them was a canyon wide. But the Major loved her, even if it was once upon a time. A lighthearted exchange broke some of the tension, but she still should have told him then.

The Citadel- "What's up" had to be the lamest greeting after an armed standoff. Not a clasping hug, not a gentle smile, instead she vocalized her worry that he was angry. She hadn't taken the shot at Udina, and she had made Kaidan make that impossible decision. To trust her word, to trust an ex-terrorist. It was too much to ask of anyone- but now she was someone he was in love with. Not a past tense, a was, but a current thing. Still, she fumbled, asking him to let her have it and killing any hope of a romantic reunion. Her stolen glances at his backside caught in the act gave him a sheepish glance away and not the confession he was owed.

The Citadel Pt. II- After a shamelessly little amount of convincing, she had found herself in a dress. It was supposed to be simple- a snack on the Citadel. But she had hoped for more, the flirting, the longing stares, compliments, and a little bit of girlish enthusiasm from Kaidan she dared to think they had a chance. It was the first 'I love you' the extra 'I always have' sending her heart fluttering into erratics that she fought to control, lest she make a scene. The graze of his tender lips against her palm relinquished any grasp she had left on that errant heart, the thundering of the heartbeat clouding her brain. The jealousy the rest of her skin felt for her palm stealing another confession.

2181 Despoina- Kaidan would always rue his attraction to adventurous women. Not the woman, but the spark that drove him there. She was always at risk; her daily amount of adventure qualified as a heroic event for most other citizens of the galaxy. For her, it was a normal Tuesday night. But still, he worried, and still, he continued to love her for the constant stress she brought him. Loved her recklessness because it was as much part of her as her freckles. In the wordless hours of the night, his grip always tighter after a harrowing encounter, she was silent.

The Normandy- Neither of them wanted a quick drink. It was a little silly, after all these years, after all his confessions, to still feel insecure about inviting Kaidan up to her cabin. Instead of being direct, he invented the excuse of a short drink to see her. To comfort each other- when they both knew they needed it. Everything felt so final, the end a ticking bomb, an end to the short time they had together. She found strength in him, a safety in knowing she had someone that would catch her. He loved her openly and proudly. He loved her without needing the words returned.

London- It was unreal, after three years finally approaching the finish line. Loss and love in equal measure. Now, it was time for her to go it alone. It was unnatural, and she fought against the notion. She didn't want to be alone- not at the end. Not after this blissful glimpse into the way love had brightened every facet of her being. Kaidan would gladly face a bitter end with her, going arm in arm to meet Garrus at the bar. But it was a fucked kind of love that pushed her to make him leave. The same love that screamed at him to get the hell off the Normandy, the love that now albeit gently pleaded with him to live. It wasn't a roar or a cry of victory but a rumble- a tender declaration. Kaidan knew, even if it took him repeating his love a thousand times over. Six was a good number, short. The heart knew it was needed.

"So refresh my memory," Jane questioned in a whisper, trying not to draw the entire den of Varren upon them at once, "just how many we are planning on bringing back?"

"Are you that keen on vaporizing them all?"

"I certainly can."

"Wouldn't that defeat one of our goals?"

"Well, I don't think you accounted for the transportation of a Varren," Jane noted, looking behind them at the lack of vessel to transport said game.

Jane was ignored with a huff, the woman peering around a blockade, "I want that one."

Jane took a look, the brown striped specimen had to top the list of heaviest varren she had seen, "seriously?"

"Yes. Jane."

"Aye, Aye, Ma'am."

There wasn't time for a seething look or the smarmy reply that would have followed. The creature floated, air-bound as if the weight of the animal defied gravity. It kicked at the air, unable to stop itself from moving toward the barrier that blocked the scent of view of its hunters. Jane yanked her hand forward, dragging against the invisible weight. It felt good, if not for the shred of panic that she might lose time again. The tell-tale sign of blood was not forthcoming.

The blast of sound ricocheting through the plaza quickly overcame any remaining fear.

"Whatever you do, do not approach these things," the recruit barked, yanking the older woman into the corner spot, "they will overwhelm you if they get close."

"Aye, Aye, Ma'am."

The pack burst from all corners, running full boar in the direction of their fallen packmate. Several running members fell in the chaos, while a line of biotic energy sent the group careening into nearby walls and structures. For what inexperience was worth, Helen held up well, keeping up trained focus on the beasts. The old lady had precision aim, wasting hardly a clip during the charge. Jane didn't have to pick up much slack. Now, if there were a third member, everything would be peachy.

The square was silent for a count of three before a single varren cried out loudly.

The alpha was on scene.

While she had not promised to keep from committing to a hair-brained stunt, biotic shockwaves and lifts were boring. A teenage biotic could perform these moves without a sweat, a N7 needed a challenge. She needed the thrill. Blue waves coalesced and pulsed around her form, the familiar vibration against her skin pleasurable. A fluid vault over the barrier propelling her charge into the lone Varren, sending it toppling from the blow. Jane dove for it, pummeling it with blasts of biotic energy until her knuckles bled.

This was no longer a stunt but a method of release.

"Seems those biotics are back online," Helen murmured, wiping something from her eyes.

Jane cocked her head, "where'd you learn to shoot?"

"That? Oh. I thought they'd go out like a coyote."

The blonde smirked, dismounting the alpha's corpse, wiping her fists against a clean portion of the animal's hide. Nothing from Tuchanka went down quietly.

Helen stood over her prize, after a long minute she looked at Jane expectantly, "aren't you going to grab that?"

"Your trophy, your struggle," Jane folded her arms in return, a sly grin crossing her face, "besides, by the way we snuck out of that base, I don't need any more blame for this... what would you call this, stunt?"

"We did not sneak-" but the woman's face betrayed her guilt.

"Yeah, it's normal procedure to hop a barricade at the precise moment the guard changed," Jane knew a thing or two about sneaking out. She'd even stolen a ship twice.

Helen didn't have to struggle with the corpse long before Jane took pity on the woman; she had an unfair advantage anyway. Genetic enhancements, bone grafting, and a little biotic lifting. Unfortunately, she would still be sore when they got back to base.

"Why the need to sneak out anyway? I'm sure you could have roped anyone into helping you," Jane was under no illusion that the woman had any particular like for her, if anything, the woman looked at her with increasing scrutiny.

"None of them would dare."

"Oh?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Jane understood the sentiment completely.

[marvellouspinecone]

Ok but imagine Martha freshly post-year-that-never-was joins UNIT bc the Doctor recommended her and she doesn't really have anywhere else to go. She sees a military organization, which she doesn't approve of, maybe partly bc of the Doctor's influence, but i'd say we can safely assume she has her own distaste for military (she's never been one to take orders, she opposes violence, she's the peacemaker in her family so she'd prefer to solve the conflict through negotiation and strategic tricks and not direct action). But then again, not much else you can do, bc of all she'd seen and been through in the past year and the time in the TARDIS she doesn't really have any other choice.

Ok, she's telling herself, ok but i'll be a doctor, not a soldier. I'll be helping people, doing scientific research on aliens. Providing my expertise on how to make this organization better and less violent. I'll stick to my principles, i won't be wearing a weapon and try literally anything else before resorting to hurting someone.

Except the military is a machine that grinds you up unless you become one of the gears. She finds out that being a medical officer is much different from being a doctor. It comes with hard choices, responsibilities, and more blood than she ever wanted to deal with. Research expeditions load up on weapons and sometimes you have no choice but to take arms.

How many times was she dragged off the field because she refused to leave an injured "enemy"? When was the first time she could sneak an alien prisoner out, and saw behind them the ghosts of everyone she couldn't save, asking herself who are you to decide who lives or dies? When did she first have to make a choice between "us" and "them" and heard her own voice from the past (what are you, some sort of Dalek?) as she raised a weapon? And how easy was she to break because of what she had been through, how easy was it to convince her - one of the few people to have escaped the burning Japan - to atack first and not wait for the enemies to strike?

And the Osterhagen Key project i'm sooo fucking normal about it she was really ready to destroy the planet!!! Like she was about to do it! I'm not even saying it you KNOW all the thematic parallels we are all smart here. If the Daleks hadn't teleported her, the Earth would be a cracked egg!! I kinda wish they didn't just so we could see her actually going over this decision, but then again the fact that she followed the instructions almost automatically tells us So Much about her time in UNIT. Like the horror in her face when she refuses to do this at first, and then complete acceptance and resignation that, yes, she will have to destroy her own homeplanet! Literally everyone she knows! Why? Because the UNIT protocols started making sense to her!!!!!!!!

I think that was the breaking point for her UNIT career ("Mickey convinced her to leave" my ass, no! She never belonged there!). In the "Dissected" BF audio she's so unsatisfied with her job, being tossed from base to base, doing boring tasks mostly examining bodies. She says she misses adventures, but there's plenty of adventures in UNIT, there's an alien invasion in England every other Friday. I think she's burnt out after all that went down in "Stolen Earth"/"Journey's End" and "Children of the Earth". She's seen her fair shair of what UNIT can do and is trying to distance herself from big events and responsibilities.

I'm not saying that UNIT is bad bc we all love it (Kate Stewart loml) but it was a militaty machine at that point and those tend to crush people who try to oppose them and aren't on top, in the command centre.

The only options inside this mechanism are get broken, get assimilated, or blow the whole thing up. And Martha did all three. Because she is the character of all time.

You can only really "fix" the system or "exploit" it to do good if you know it intimately inside and out, which means you first have to become a cog in the machine and do your job of upholding it and perpetrating the crimes it's set out to do until you learn it's tricks and weak spots. And you end up doing more harm than good. Which is why good cops aren't real

[scribesofcalamity]

Oooo more aboard the otome asks >:3

May I have 👋💖💋 for anyone you'd like? And then for needed angst the 💥 for anyone else you'd like!

(@uselessidiotsquad )

Thank you for the askkk! I have chosen Dalamar, my former nightmare courtier, who many of you seemed to like. I totally put too much effort into this but otome games are my next top game type right after Guild Wars. (I’m currently playing Olympia Soiree!)

Welcome to your first route in Calamity Hearts. Tyria has been in turmoil for years with the battle against the elder dragons. You have been selected to join the front lines, and in doing so, you meet the Commander’s Guild, The Scribes of Calamity. What adventures, tragedies, and perhaps love, await you?

👋 – meeting

Common Route

You made your way through the milling crowds in Divinity’s Reach, clutching your order scroll tight to your chest. You had finally achieved your dream of being on the front lines of the war against the elder dragons. You had been amazed when your directives had been to report to the headquarters of the top guild.

The Scribes of Calamity. The guild was practically legendary at this point, and while headed by the Commander, Dietrich Lee, all of the members were renowned. From the ferocious Master at Arms, Ren Soulbleeder- to the storied Astaroche, the Angel of Orr- to Eunome, their armorer and seamstress, who had just released a new fire proof cloth type to the orders for use on the ground. You gulped down your anxiety as you neared the gates of the address on your orders. “I’m good at what I do. Otherwise I would not have been chosen to report here.” Taking a deep breath, you approached the asuran tech scanner that adorned the gates. The machine buzzed to life as you inspected it.

“Hello, how can I help you?” a female voice erupted from a speaker. “A-ah,yes! Y/N, from the pact, reporting for duty!”

There was a moment of silence before the gates unlocked and swung inward. “Please, come in. I will be with you in a moment.”

You took a step through the gates, your body trembling with anticipation of the adventures that could await you.

A moment later, a woman appeared, stepping away from the oak doors of the large house that dominated the courtyard. Your eyes widened as you realized who it was-Rioko, the second in Command of the guild and a noble local to Divinity’s Reach. As she moved her flowing black hair over her shoulder, you could not help but think how much prettier she was in person, compared to the posters and holographic images you had seen before.

“Greetings, Y/N. I am Rioko. We have been expecting you. I will be showing you around today and taking you to your temporary quarters.” She took your order scroll and inspected it before gracing you with a smile. “It is a pleasure to meet you. “

“You as well ma’am!” You gave a salute. Rioko laughed. “Please, no need for formalities. You will be working quite closely with us. And as I’m sure you know, those chosen to assist occasionally become full time members.”

You nodded quickly. What a dream that would be!

Passing back your orders, Rioko gave a quick glance around the courtyard. “So, what would you like to see first?”

> Living Quarters

**>Training Grounds**

>Stables

>Outer buildings

>Garden

“I would love to see the training grounds first.” Rioko nodded. “Certainly. I believe Ren is running some training matches today, so you may get to see a few guild members in action.” Turning on her heel, Rioko led you towards the back of the property.

You could hear the training grounds before you could see them. A loud clash of metal made you jump in surprise. As you both rounded the corner, you were able to see the source of the noise. Rioko led you to the end of the fenced off area. “Oh this will be a treat! Looks like Enyo and Dalamar are sparring today.” A large female Charr twisted her axe, bringing it down hard against the greatsword of her opponent. You tried to focus on them, but suddenly their form shifted, and the greatsword ,in a swirl of shadows, reconstructed itself into a large scythe. The two clashed again and again, kicking up dust and coming ever closer to slicing the other down. You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until a booming voice ended the match. Turning your head, you were met with the imposing sight of the Master of Arms himself, Ren Soulbleeder. Ren was almost 9 feet tall, and despite the slight greying to his mane, his muscles rippled with power under his sleek black fur. “This the new recruit, Rioko?” He called out, and you both approached. The two who had been sparring moved towards you both as well.

As you reached the three, you chose to turn towards…

>Master at Arms Ren

> Enyo Reignbreaker

**>Dalamar **

You turned toward the figure who had been nothing but a flash of shadows on the field. He was a tall sylvari, and his skin a deep charcoal. His eyes were a stunning shade of jade, and you could see the same color pulsing through his skin. The seemingly silky leaves on his head framed a sharp face, and you could see he was well muscled. He leaned against his greatsword. “That was an amazing match!” His eyes shifted away from yours. ‘I suppose.” His voice was low and deep. “I’m Y/N. I’ve been assigned to your guild.“ You held out your hand. His eyes flicked down to your hand and back up to your face. He looked uncomfortable. “Dalamar.” He stated his name without taking your hand. He turned to Ren suddenly. “I’m going back to my quarters.” Before anyone could speak, he quickly left. Rioko sighed and Ren laughed. Enyo, the other charr, took your hand instead. “Don’t worry about Dal. He’s former nightmare court, and his communication skills still lack in many areas.” You nodded, but somehow felt disappointed you had been unable to feel the warmth of his hand as well.

💖 - heart scene three

You sat on the edge of a cliff outside Thunderhead keep, staring out into the snow. You had left the inner keep for some quiet. Too many soldiers trying to make their peace with death. You stared down at your hand. “Will we really be able to defeat Kralkatorrik?” you whispered to yourself, a tear slipping down your cheek.

“Y/N”

A deep voice, that you had come to know so well, startled you out of your thoughts. You turned to see the tall sylvari standing behind you. “Dalamar…”

He moved closer and sat next to you. “Are you feeling scared?” You twisted your hands together and stared down at them. You could feel him watching you. “Honestly? Yes…what if we don’t win…? What if..I die? You bit your lip, feeling tears prick at the corner of your eyes. “There’s so much I haven’t experienced yet…and if we lose…” your voice choked up, and your shoulders began to tremble. So much had happened since you had reported to the Guild Headquarters in Divinity’s Reach. Now the very fate of the world swung in the balance.

Suddenly, a rough hand was around your shoulder and pulled you close. “Dalamar..?” You tried to look up at him, but he wrapped his other hand around yours and gently forced your head into his chest.

“It will be okay. We all have eachother. If anyone can defeat Kralkatorrik, it’s us.” He suddenly intertwined his fingers with yours, and you felt the soft touch of his lips to the top of your head. Your eyes widened as he quietly murmured to you “And I will never let anyone-dragon, god, or man-ever hurt you.”

💋 - good end

You ran through the crowd of soldiers at the base camp. The sky was painted in a million colors, and you watched with everyone as Aurene ascended into an elder dragon. It was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, but there was only one thing on your mind. Dalamar. You had to find him. You had been separated in the final battle, as Dalamar was on the front line team, and Anastasia had enlisted you to support getting the guild’s mounts through the rifts and onto the battle field. You frantically swept through the milling camp, but did not see him. “Please.. please…”

“Y/N!!”

A voice rang over the noise. You turned, somehow unsure…Dalamar never really yelled. But there he stood. His hair was a bit tousled ,and you could see a few minor scrapes, but he appeared to be in one piece. “Dalamar!” You were running before you even realized your feet were moving. He opened his arms and you practically leapt into them. “You’re…you’re alright!” Tears streamed down your face from the sheer relief you felt. He gave a slight smile. “I told you we would be okay.” He glanced around. “Let’s move away from this crowd.” You could only nod and follow as he led you away from the main encampment.

You stood together, watching the sky shift with Aurene’s colors. “Y/N…” Dalamar’s voice was quieter than it normally was, in stark contrast to the shout that had moved your attention to him. “Yes?” You peered up at him. He slowly looked up, his jade eyes brighter than ever, glowing from within. “This battle…it made me realize something.” Your voice caught, but he continued. “Much of my life had been clouded by the nightmare. My dream was always blurry, and I lost myself to darkness. Being brought into the guild was something very new for me. They showed me what it meant to have friends and family. But you…you’re something different.”

“Something different? “ Dalamar took your hand in his. He shifted and glanced away. ”What…What I’m saying is I care for you. I have never cared so much for someone. In this battle, all I could think of you was returning to you.” He took a deep breath and looked at you straight on. “Y/N. I love you. Would you stay by my side… and become my new dream?”

You answered by reaching up to kiss him, the opalescent sky swirling above as you held each other.

💥 - bad end

You stood at the edge of Caldeon Forest, tears streaming down your face. “Sirius!!” ,you screamed as you ran towards the large white charr. But it was too late. Sirius crumpled to the ground. Standing above him…was Dalamar.

Why? Why did it end up this way? We were just supposed to pick up a last batch of weapons and supplies before heading to join the rest of the guild in Thunderhead Keep. “Dalamar?! What are you doing?!” The sylvari reaper flicked his wrist, sending a spray of Sirius’s blood off his greatsword.

You dropped to your knees beside Sirius, but the charr was gone. You gasped for breath, rage and confusion coursing through your veins. You stared up at Dalamar, who merely stood there, a cold smirk playing on his lips. “Why?!? He was your friend!! ”

His eyes narrowed into a cold and threatening stare. “Friend? How foolish. Those of the nightmare court do not have friends.”

“W…What?!”

“You heard correctly.” He was moving closer now. “I never left the nightmare court. This was merely a mission. Grow close to the commander. Learn what you can. And now…these weapons and supplies will certainly aid our court.”

“N-No” you rasped, your body numb. You had been there together, training, sharing meals with everyone…fighting for the future of the world. This couldn’t be true.

Dalamar lifted his weapon. “It is now time for us to say goodbye as well. “ The midnight black greatsword came down on you without mercy.

[bellaslilpapercut]

Eclipse reread part 2! This is gonna cover a lot of chapters because I forgot to include stuff from chapters 4, 5, and 6 in part 1 (in my defense your honor, this book is very grating to read). Awayyy we go:

1. so chapters 4-6 really could have been one chapter tbh since the plot is: Bella ditches work at Newton’s Outfitters to hang with Jake and then writes some graduation invites with Angela. She pushes her rusty old behemoth as fast as it can go through driving rain but then hangs outside with Jake the whole time so I don’t really know where the rain went. She also manages to hear Jake gasp through her closed car door! Super sonic! Anyway, Bella insists that Edward is a good guy, Jake makes Bella hold his hand, Jake explains imprinting (yuck we can skip that), and then Edward drives threateningly past Bella while she’s on her way to Angela’s house. Angela reminds Bella that, at his core, Edward is a teen boy who is Totally Jealous of how Ripped and Sexy her 16 year old best friend is. Then Alice kidnaps Bella. Fun times!

2. During the imprinting convo it becomes very apparent that Meyer thinks the worst thing that can happen to a girl is getting broken up with. Somehow Leah got the “worst end” of the Sam/Emily/Leah fiasco despite Sam turning into a “monster” and Emily getting literally mauled in the face. What’s worse is later in the book, during the “Legends” chapter, when Bella wonders if Leah thinks Emily’s scars are a form of “justice.” Yea, Bella, that’s justice. 

3. I love this Rosalie quote but hate the entirety of they way meyer writes her story. Others have mentioned it before but Meyer writes Rose's dialogue there as if Rose is an author and not like...a person telling a story. An easy fix would be to format Rosalie's story "flash back" style rather than have her narrate all the way through. Then you can include all the superfluous details of exactly what everyone's voice sounded like and all the excessive dialogue tags you want.

I also Violently Abhor this quote here:

Yea, meyer, the Hot Girl hates your self-insert because her stupid ass brother didn't have the hots for her. It just reads like weird middle school revenge fantasy "I only hated you because you were so Special!!!" Sure, sure. Also "all those females!" People don't talk like that @stephanie

4. I do love the scene when Bella “escapes” from Alice with Jake (I don’t know why i put escape in quotes, Alice could definitely murk Bella) but then that whole adventure ends with Jake telling Bella he’d rather she die than turn into a vampire. And yeah, fair buddy, but also you’ve known Bella for a long time. This should not be a surprise to you at all even a little bit. a) she mentioned it before, b) you knew she would never get over Edward even if your plan in NM had worked, and c) you’ve known that she’s fully obsessed with the Cullen’s since you started hanging out with her again. The last time you guys hung out she went on an impassioned rampage about how lovely and good and fantastic Edward is (footage not found) I really don’t know why you’re surprised that this hard-headed girl is prepared to commit to vampirism for him. She is not normal lmfao.

5. The legends chapter. Oh boy. Stephanie, Meyer, Smeyer. Honestly it might have been less offensive if she had just made up a whole new tribe to give these backstories to, for all that they have in common with real Quileute legends but actually that would still be offensive and terrible anyway. I don’t know how to describe this adequately but if you’ve ever seen G.I. Joe’s portrayal of indigenous people that’s exactly what meyer made Old Quil and Billy’s dialogue sound like. Just absolutely dripping with Mystical Native/ Magical Native trope from the content to the tone. https://mthg.org/ Because it can’t be plugged enough.  

6. The legends chapter ends with this Wuthering Heights quote:

I have no qualms with it's inclusion, if you really want to push the Edward is Heathcliff and Bella is Cathy agenda, I don't believe it but fine, whatever. But those last two paragraphs are such a dumb way to end a chapter. Every chapter ending should make the reader want to turn the page: this makes me want to shut the book (actually I did take a long break after this lmfao). Anyway, just end the quote on "drank his blood," bold those three words, and end the chapter there. Don't go back and say "the three words that stood out were... Anyway it could have fallen to any page I believe in coincidence teehee!!" That's just annoying.

7. Okay guys I hate to say it but Edward does get a lil bit of ~character growth after the first few chapters. He comes home after having Bella kidnapped (she decides not to be angry, surprise surprise) and is all "so I've been thinking about it and you're right my Beloved Angel Face or whatever, please hang out with Jacob but also wear a helmet on your motorcycle my Beloved Dumb Idiot or whatever" (paraphrase). And he also says this in chapter 12:

Which is like, man I hate when I agree with Edward but I agree with Edward here. Now I know from MS that he only wants Bella to stay human because he's creating an Unfolding Drama in his head but this bit of dialogue is really sweet. And it's funny that he thought Bella didn't want to marry him because she just wanted to use him for immortality but it's also a Dark Reminder that he's literally only romantic with her because he can't read her mind and can't tell that she's just as obsessed with his looks as the other Teen Girls TM.

8. uuuh Jasper’s Backstory Time. This is so infuriating to read for so many reasons. So we know that smeyer got Jasper’s name from a confederate memorial/ listing (from a New Moon Q&A but the link isn’t secure so I can’t share) so I know that his backstory was always meant to be Confederate Soldier which makes everything else about his characterization just baffling. Again, he was the only Cullen that was genuinely kind to Bella besides Carlisle for the entire first book and he’s still incredibly kind during Eclipse (which is another issue I have though because no one mentions again that Jasper tried to eat Bella and they stand close to each other and hang out and Bella’s never like “this is scary, this dude tried to kill me” but i digress). The point is: smeyer knew he was going to be a confederate from book 1. She never addresses that this was bad, she never has Jasper mention that he regrets his role in the war, he is the only Cullen that’s actually capable of empathizing with humans anymore (Carlisle cares but I would not categorize him as empathetic), it just... None of these pieces fit together. This is a fraught and bloody history that smeyer throws in with no thought to how it might alienate black readers (though tbh she constantly emphasizes “white beauty” throughout the series so I doubt she cares) and the editors don’t question it either. No one, at any point in time, said “Hey, steph, you know confederates fought for slavery, right?” Every black american deserves reparations. White women and men who glorify the civil war should be the first to pay up. 

9. I’m gonna jump back to chapters 9 & 10 here (target & scent, respectively) to say: no tension is being effectively built. I get it, someone stole your clothes. You’re annoyed because you have nothing to wear and Victoria is scary. But where is she? Where is the volturi? Move it along, please! This is one of the challenges of 1st person narrative because the author is stuck in the eyes of, usually, the person who knows the least. Meyer is not a talented enough author to make this interesting. Not to bring up THG again but Suzanne Collins really knew how to work 1st person. Everything that Katniss asserts with certainty throughout the series gets either confirmed or denied by the narrative, keeping it interesting. She assumes the worst of the people around her so we’re pleasantly surprised when people violate those assumptions. We’re kept on edge by how little Katniss knows and SC never gifts Katniss with more knowledge than she could be expected to have. Bella is constantly gifted with knowledge and her assumptions are rarely proven wrong. You can dig into the canon a little bit more, read the lexicon and the guide, and find all the examples of Bella being unreliable or making wrong assumptions. But within the narrative she is rarely incorrect. She doesn’t get opportunities to grow out of her false assumptions (while Edward does, at least in Eclipse). So to keep the Victoria debacle interesting, smeyer has to plant seeds like- during these two chapters- Bella thinking of Laurent and Victoria while the cullens discuss who could have been in Bella’s room. That just doesn’t cut it for me. 

This is hella long and I’m only halfway through the book. I probably should split the second half into two parts as well but based on how talented smeyer is at stretching out the mundane, especially just before the climax, I probably wont need to. 

[talesmaniac89]

Choices - You Chose Dean

New to Choices? Start Here

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: Choices is an interactive Supernatural choose your own adventure story where your choices determine the outcome and whether it’s a Dean x Reader or Sam x Reader. Go to the intro to start your story now!

Triggers: None really, some mention of Dean putting himself in harm’s way.

Choice:  [You chose Dean Winchester]

Y/N = Your Name

—

“Right… So, to make sure we’re ready…” Dean said with a sigh, eyeing the signs as they passed by. The tense tone and hard voice of a soldier enough for you to tell you were quickly closing in on the farmhouse in question. 

“There’s supposed to be five demons in there. We’ll have to take ‘em all out fast. Try to catch them off guard,” Dean spoke over the music, echoing the earlier plan and case details. Though you didn’t mind. It was better to be prepared. Know the case inside out. Especially when you were dealing with those slimy black-eyed bastards. They tended to try and wiggle their way free if you left them even the slightest bit of breathing room.

According to the briefing, the five demons had made themselves a cosy little home in the middle of farm town USA. Happily living their best evil little lives and causing havoc wherever they went. But they weren’t big shots. So, the fight shouldn’t be too hard for three experienced hunters. In, out, find a motel for a snooze if necessary and home in time for lunch tomorrow.

“We’ll have to split up. (Y/N), I think…” Dean started, those infuriatingly striking green eyes glancing up at you through the rear-view mirror and nearly leaving you tongue-tied. Damn him and his… Gorgeous fucking bastard. You couldn’t even think straight. Dean Winchester did things to your mind; filthy, explicit, breathless things. Leaving you mentally winded and unable to string two words together with just a flash of green or a blinding smile.

Yet you somehow still managed to get the protest out before he finished his sentence. The stubbornness of a hunter tackling the wanton daydreamer in you to the floor and wrestling the not-so-innocent devil on your shoulder into submission for long enough to let you find your voice again.

“I’m not sitting this one out Winchester,” You snapped back. Allowing your annoyance to mask the way the hunter always left you winded as you shot down Dean’s attempt to keep you out of harm's way. Like he did every hunt. Disguised as you either taking on the research-, backup- or otherwise removed from action roles.

Though he always failed. You were just as unwilling to see him hurt as he was to see anyone hurt. There was no way in hell you’d be able to sit a fight out and risk the man you loved (oh so very secretly and silently mind you) get hurt because of it. 

“Alright… But you’re staying behind me,” Dean sighed after a moment. Clearly sensing the fight brewing as he backed off quite easily. Plus, even the infuriatingly protective hunter had to agree that 3 against 5 were still better odds than 2 against 5. No matter how much he wanted to go in, guns blazing, alone to keep his little brother and you out of harm’s way.

“Ok, so… We’ll head in the front, while Sammy goes around back?” You clarified; happy he’d dropped the fight for once. And doubly happy since you’d be right there by his side. Able to protect him and the heart you’d silently slipped him without him noticing. 

“Yeah, after, we paint some Devil’s Traps outside. Give ‘em nowhere to run,” Dean’s voice was all business again as he revved the engine, green eyes hard as you sped down the old country roads. Straightening in your own seat, you felt the adrenaline start coursing through you. It was show time, and you were planning on kicking some serious demon ass. 

--- 

“Nice place they’ve got here…” Raising an eyebrow, you kept your eyes on the dilapidated farmhouse through the trees as you stepped out of the car, hidden just out of view from the demon hideout. Unable to stop the disgusted shudder that crawled up your spine as snapshots from some of the goriest movies you knew flashed in front of your eyes.

It looked like something from a classic horror movie. You could nearly hear the Deliverance banjo music in the background as your eyes scanned the rickety porch and rotting wood. It was the kind of place you’d normally scream at the characters on the screen to run away from. Not in fear, but in pure exasperation. After all, nothing good was ever found in old abandoned farmhouses. The demons in the one in front of you just helped prove your point. 

Following Dean to the back of the car, you kept your angel blade by your side as you busied yourself stocking up on holy water and enough iron to make Tony Stark jealous. Taking extra care to ensure everything was safely strapped to your body, and that none of the ‘pointier’ weapons would end up turning on you if you took a tumble. Though you knew you’d most likely just end up sticking to good ol’ reliable and angelic in your hand. The silver white blade thumping against your thigh matched your heartbeat. Adrenaline already coursing pleasurably through your veins from the thought of the upcoming fight.

You needed action, and you needed it fast. The nearly uncomfortable buzz in your body seemed to be reacting violently to the evil in the air, culminating in an itch in your bones that nothing but gunpowder and steel could scratch. So, as you finished building your wearable arsenal of guns, knives and all things pain-inducing, you glanced over at Dean, lips parted to get the show on the road. However, Dean wasn’t moving next to you. 

The gun he’d picked up first still heavy in his palm as he stood frozen, watching you. Worry making the green summer days in his eyes cloud over like a sudden midday storm. The barely hidden pain in them squeezing at your heart as you readied yourself for words you knew would come. 

“You don’t have to…”

“Yes, I do Dean,” You sighed, unwilling to even let him finish his usual attempt at making you sit the hunt out. The same frustrating song and dance as always, yet you couldn’t help the way your heart followed the rhythm of it. The kind, protective streak that made the hunter ask you that same question every time you set out to fight another monster was, after all, part of why you loved him. 

Always so willing to carry every burden on his own shoulders, yet hiding that small, fragile part of himself that showed how everyone’s burdens were taking their toll. Keeping his own pain, his own burdens, hidden until he was alone in the bunker. Or at least, until he thought he was alone. You’d caught him more than once. Tired green eyes squeezed shut as he rested his head in his hands, gasping for breath through the onslaught of guilt and hurt. Strong shoulders shaking with unshed tears and the weight of the blame he placed on them. 

He wanted to keep you safe. Not just you, but the whole god damned world. Still, he was just one man. One soldier in a war that had been raging since the beginning of time itself and he never put down his weapon. Always ready to jump back into the fray. Even as his armour cracked, and his blade dulled. Even as he collapsed under the weight of it all.

The family business; his life since childhood had forced him to hide away his fears as weaknesses. Shaping himself into a shield instead, as he readily threw himself into harm’s way if he believed it could save someone else. Dean Winchester lived like he had a death wish, even though he feared the unknown darkness that was waiting on the other side. Always a little too ready to sacrifice himself for the greater good. 

Never seeing that he was greater than the sum of his sins. That he was good. 

Never willing to believe that the world was a better place with him in it. Though to you it was. Hell… Without him in it, the world would just be a black and white imitation of its formerly vibrant self.

Because you knew the truth that he spent every waking moment trying to hide from the greedy world that just kept demanding more of its one-man army. That behind the soldier, there was a man with a big heart and a need to be loved. A young boy who was denied a childhood. A broken big brother that always blamed himself for pulling Sammy back into the life. A friend willing to sacrifice anything just to see you smile. And, a beautiful soul, who hurt and mourned deeper than anyone else whenever you failed to save someone. 

Dean Winchester was a complex man.

He wasn’t just a hunter, brother, friend or secret keeper of your heart. Dean was a heartrendingly beautiful story with untold depths, a full unexplored universe. With all the nuances and colours that painted a picture of his painful history in scars, heartbreaks and timid smiles that he felt guilty for letting slip. 

A story made up of all the stifled emotions and locked in screams, that easily brought those who knew him to tears. Peppered with small verses of agonisingly fragile hope and the long forgotten innocence of a childhood he never got to have. Hidden and hard to decipher among the many self-deprecating jokes and harsh rejections, yet not lost to you as it was to many others who saw the man as unfeeling and cold. Dean just had to grow up a little faster than most, it didn’t make him a monster, it didn’t make him any less human.

And you didn’t want to add new bruised and battered sentences to that story. You never wanted to be the reason for him to ever get hurt. So, as always, you told him the same thing you’d repeated for an immeasurable number of former hunts. Speaking into the quiet air around you as you grabbed one of the spray cans from the trunk.

“We’re in this together Dean. I’ve got your back, you’ve got mine. Forever,” 

--- 

Straightening back up with a stifled groan you admired your work. 

If all else failed and hunting didn’t work out, maybe you could turn to street art. The Devil’s Trap was expertly painted, if you’d say so yourself. Which you did. Albeit silently and in your own head, as to not alert the demons in the farmhouse to the right of you. 

The trap you’d been assigned was the closest to the Impala, another attempt from Dean at keeping you safe. Yet, it was also the most likely escape route if the demons turned cowards and tried to run for the hills. 

The sliding door just a few steps away to your right was not a planned entry point. So, they’d be most likely to try and use it to scutter away like the scared little black-eyed rats they were if it came down to that. So, your work had to be perfect. Allowing yourself just one more careful look over the symbols, you stepped back. Turning on light feet to carefully, and silently, re-join Dean by the front door. 

The worry in green eyes had once more been replaced by steely determination once you made it back to the front of the farmhouse. Squaring his jaw, he watched you quietly jog up to him before just as soundlessly signalling for Sam to start moving towards the back door with a raised hand and to fingers pointed down the path around the house. His own eyes moving to lock onto the front door, weapon at the ready while he relayed the wordless orders. Missing the small nod from Sam as the younger hunter stayed crouched and quiet, moving before Dean’s hand even had time to straighten out and silently relay his next orders.

Lifting his hand to you, you frowned at the straight palm facing you. He was asking you to wait outside for his signal. To let him walk in through the front door first and act like your shield in case something went wrong. 

Looking at him you gritted your teeth to keep the angry whisper at bay. Gripping your angel blade a little harder, you chose to instead just silently shake your head at him in protest. Catching his eye as he glanced away from the door to make sure you caught the order you tried to silently plead with him. But this time he wasn’t backing down.

His own wordless reply was just a repeat of the single hand gesture that was supposed to be your command and role in the coming battle. Green eyes leaving yours to cut off every silent argument you had as he kept his shoulders tense and jaw squared. 

Your stubborn hunter wasn’t going to let you argue this time as he slowly but surely started moving forward, towards the door. Leaving you standing in the gravel, fuming silently.

—

Make your choice below to move the story along:

What do you do?

[Follow him in] or [Wait outside]

—

Confused or New to Choices? Start Here Choices is an interactive Supernatural choose your own adventure story where you pick your Winchester brother and go on a hunt for one of 8 different endings in total. Four for Sam and four for Dean (2 happy and 2 bad endings per brother). Go to the intro to start your story!

—

[bulkyphrase]

Everybody & the Avengers Team

I've got a new fic rec list for you!

The stories in the "X & the Avengers Team" tags focus on one person's relationship to the Avengers team as a whole. Courtesy of AO3's tag browse and Excel, here's a ranked list of the top 20 most popular pairings:

Tony Stark | 2470 total, 240 OTP

Peter Parker | 2255 total, 85 OTP

Steve Rogers | 602 total, 56 OTP

Loki | 387 total, 26 OTP

Natasha Romanov | 308 total, 35 OTP

Clint Barton | 268 total, 46 OTP

Bruce Banner | 244 total, 15 OTP

Thor | 209 total, 7 OTP

Avengers Team | 174 total, 24 OTP

James "Bucky" Barnes | 156 total, 7 OTP

Wanda Maximoff | 143 total, 4 OTP

Phil Coulson | 105 total, 9 OTP

Darcy Lewis | 91 total, 6 OTP

Matt Murdock | 60 total, 8 OTP

Sam Wilson | 53 total, 5 OTP

Nick Fury | 41 total, 5 OTP

Harry Potter | 40 total, 0 OTP

Pepper Potts | 31 total, 1 OTP

Vision | 29 total, 2 OTP

Stiles Stilinski | 25 total, 0 OTP

In chart form, if you like charts:

Notes:

The numbers after the names are the number of stories tagged with that ship. OTP means the number of stories where that is the only relationship tagged on the story. Numbers are accurate as of July 2021.

Story Recommendations

For your reading pleasure, included below is at least one fic rec for each pairing except the crossovers from non-Marvel fandoms (apologies to Mr. Potter & Mr. Stilinski). Most are gen fic, and even in the ones with a romantic pairing, romance is not the focus.

Tony Stark

As Subtle As Cognitive Recalibration by petroltogo (Teen, 8949) tumblr: @tonystarktogo

Standing inside his penthouse, listening to Rogers, Barton and Banner explain to Fury how they just happened to stumble over the Tesseract on a routine security check of Stark Tower’s roof and wouldn’t you know, they’ve managed to fight off the looming alien invasion before it could really start and secure the missing overpowered nightlight is one of the most surreal situations Tony has ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

Peter Parker

the worst field trip ever by shrill_fangirl_screaming (Teen, 3420) tumblr: @i-am-having-an-emotion

"We're on a field trip," Peter said. "To here. And Tony decided to be our tour guide and absolutely embarrass me, so can you please help get him under control?"

Which is how Peter Parker, architect of his own destruction, ended up with not one but two superhero pseudo-dads being annoying on his school field trip.

Steve Rogers

Do You Remember Being Happy? ('Cause I Sure Don't) by GalaxyThreads (Teen, 11022) tumblr: @galaxythreads

That seems about right. He doesn't know how he knows that, though. He does have vague memories of an annoyed fondness at finding peanut butter in some sort of jam. Thor's doing, because he doesn't see the point of using two knives when one works just as fine. He knows that. How does he know that? He knows all those little details, though, almost innately. How can he know these strangers so deeply?

Everyone else below the cut!

Loki

Proprietary by TheThirdMarauder (Teen, 7639)

No, Loki simply wants the Avengers conquered. The details of whom, how, and when matter not. Unless, of course, said details interfere with Loki's plans. Then, well, then none can fault him for protecting his own interests.

Loki has always been exceptionally good at lying to himself.

Natasha Romanov

What Girls Are Made Of by enigma731 (Teen, 4613) tumblr: @enigma731

She rolls her eyes but does as he’s indicated, using his shoulders to leverage herself up onto his back, her arms around his neck and her legs hugging his waist.

“You know,” he says blithely, “this isn’t really what I tend to picture when I think of a hot girl riding me.”

Natasha groans, deciding that if his sense of humor gets them arrested, she’ll kill him herself. “Just go.”

Clint Barton

Dear Clint Barton (circa age 7) by pollyrepeat (Teen, 4221)

With a normal person, this might count as blackmail material, but a) this is a case of mutually assured destruction if ever there was one, and b) Fury is immune to embarrassment. Not just in the regular, Tony Stark way, either, oh no. Things that could possibly end up being embarrassing to Fury get somehow warped and changed until they go from mortifying all the way over into useful and/or good for his image. It’s like a superpower.

Carrying Clint’s small child self around on his shoulders more than once has probably already hit the interagency rumour mill as an example of Fury’s innate awesomeness: good with rocket launchers and small children.

Also available as a podfic!

Bruce Banner

They're Not Wrong by Trumpeteer34 (Teen, 10163)

As Tony began to pace around the hole in the road to keep himself from shooting repulsors at the nearby buildings in a fit of rage, Thor began to study the nearby area. There was no sign of either the Hulk or Bruce Banner beyond the crater. The surrounding area, aside from the rubble of the fight, held no clue as to their friend’s location.

“Guys, he’s gone,” Tony growled into the communicator on their private line, drawing Thor out of his darkening thoughts. “Someone tranqed him and took him. He’s gone.”

Honorary mention goes to the Responsible Science series by @letteredlettered - the stories don’t have the "Avengers Team & Bruce Banner" tag, but they could, and they are amazing. The best Bruce Banner writing I've ever come across.

Thor

Fortunately, I Am Mighty by onward_came_the_meteors (General, 3062)

Steve was the first one to speak. “Are you okay?”

Thor nodded. Which was a bad idea, as it turned out, because now there were little gray lights flashing in front of his eyes. “I’m fine.” Absolutely everyone narrowed their eyes, and he added, “But, uh. Could we possibly not get back in the car just yet?”

Avengers Team

Civil Wasn't by onward_came_the_meteors (General, 7123)

"We're having an ideological conflict here," Tony stated with disbelief. "Are you telling me you still want to go out to dinner?"

"It's a standing engagement, Tony," Rhodey reminded him.

"Not you too—"

"We already had to reschedule from Friday when Natasha was..." Rhodey frowned. "What were you doing?"

The question was directed toward Natasha, who shrugged and said, "Spy stuff."

James "Bucky" Barnes

You Know How I Feel, aka, The Adventures of Bucky and Muffy the Dinosaur by ifeelbetter (Not Rated, 4511) tumblr: @ifeelbetterer

“As you may have heard, Bucky Barnes, a.k.a. The Winter Soldier, recently rescued a tiny part-robot dinosaur during the Avengers’ battle with Dr. Doom in Antarctica,” the other newscaster explained. “Pictures of Barnes and the dinosaur were posted on twitter by fellow Avenger, Clint Barton, a.k.a. Hawkeye, and immediately made Barnes’s new pet America’s sweetheart.”

“Her name’s Muffy,” said Steve."

Wanda Maximoff

and the woman was young again by Mira_Jade (General, 3669)

Tony Stark called them the Cap's Kooky Quintet, and sometimes the term amused her – causing her to lift a sardonic brow where someday a smile would truly smile. She enjoyed the presence of comrades – true comrades – and she enjoyed the way their minds wove and bound together about each other to fluctuate against her senses as one. There was something soothing about being in their midst, and even when their loud and brash ways – their painful Americaness - rubbed her raw and drained on her, it was ever the knitting of their minds that soothed those moments over, and made them inconsequential.

Phil Coulson

Coulson's First Day of School by storiesfortravellers (Teen, 3055)

Coulson looked up at him. “I like drawing pictures with Mr. Rogers. I like having tea parties with Ms. Potts. I like it when Dr. Banner reads me books, and I like it when Natasha teaches me things. And I like when you play with me. You do really good voices when we play action figures. And you’re the only one who lets me do stuff like jump off the high diving board at the pool or eat three cupcakes or play tackle with kids at the park.”

Clint didn’t realize that. He was pretty sure that meant that he was doing something wrong.

Darcy Lewis

Beginner Yoga for Dummies (Darcys) and Sad Hobos by chailover (Teen, 3434)

Darcy had a theory: crazy attracted crazy, working kind of like gravity. It was pretty much her explanation for her life after Thor. And if she had thought the type of crazy Thor attracted was bad, be it Loki or the Warrior Three and Sif, or the dark elves and the Convergence, it was still nothing against what the Avengers manage en masse.

Matt Murdock

Double Blind by smilebackwards (Teen, 2381) tumblr: @smilebackwards

Stark snaps his fingers. “You can’t see half of my inventions. This explains so much about you and why you’ve never been properly impressed by me.”

“Does it?” Matt says, ambiguously.

Sam Wilson

Bystander by scribblemetimbers (Teen, 52029)

“I just want you to know,” Sam says loudly, cautiously raising his hands, “That I’m very poor and very sleep-deprived and literally the only thing you can kill me for right now are my notes.” He pauses. Wait. On second thought: “Please don’t steal my notes.”

“I’m not—I’m not a mugger,” Not Mugger rasps out, and for all that he looks about to keel over and die, the man actually manages to sound offended.

Nick Fury

Bedtime Story by dixiehellcat (Teen, 2532) tumblr: @deehellcat

Fury snorted. “I have to check in with the duty officer. I’ll be back in, let’s say twenty minutes. I expect all of you to have whatever your pre-bedtime routines are completed, and be in here pajama’ed and ready to be read to.”

He tapped the book under his arm, then left with the usual dramatic swish of his long coat. Bruce scratched his head. “Did…he just say be ready to be read to?”

Pepper Potts

Pepper and the Avengers (Which She Knows Nothing About) by rebelmeg (General, 6696) tumblr: @rebelmeg

The Avengers, that mismatched group of hurt and heroism, was one of the most important things in Tony Stark’s life. So, naturally, Pepper had made them an important part of her life too.

Vision

039. Intoxicated by aimmyarrowshigh (Teen, 100) tumblr: @aimmyarrowshigh

It might be nice to fit in, just this once. To lose a bit of composure.

Vision floated over to the refrigerator and, with some timidity, pulled off a magnet. He stuck it to his forehead.

[old-hyper-super-clover]

Trouble in Devildom Town, Part 1/3

In this short story, our dear Leviathan is back with another one of his “hey I teleport you Normies into a game world”- kinda games. What will the happen inside the world of the game “Trouble in Terrorist Town”??

This story contains two OCs/ MCs, so if you´d like to know more about the girls Violet and Clover, you can check out their character designs & descriptions on my blog :D

Hope you´ll have fun on this three-parted adventure!

 Approximate reading time: 10~15 minutes

Words: 3.156 words

 It was a calm, neat Saturday evening, when a new message hit the "House of Lamentation" group chat...

 Leviathan:

OMGGGGGG

GUYS (and girls LOL)

YOU NEED TO COME OVER TO MY ROOM ASAP

 Satan:

?

 Mammon:

To your room? Seriously?!

 Asmodeus:

I can't remember having Levi calling us over ever before... What's going on??

 Leviathan:

LESS TALKING, MORE COMING OVER.

 Lucifer:

I do hope for you this matter is worth the ruckus...

 Clover:

We'll be there in a sec!

  And so, the whole mansion's population found themselves in the third-born's room a few minutes later.

"Levi..." Being the last one to step inside the crowded room, Belphegor was rubbing his eyes in a tired manner. "Would you tell us what's going on now...?"

However, Leviathan wasn't really going to answer any of their questions.

Instead, he was prompting his guests to close the door, his gaze drifting over all of them.

Lucifer crossed his arms.

"This maniac expression on your face is highly worrying, Levi," Lucifer said.

Levi turned towards his computer, hectically mashing his keyboard, clicking on several pop-ups that appeared on his monitors, before finally turning around to properly face them.

He wore a crazy smile.

"Dammit, Levi," Mammon burst out, "I'm not in the mood for your weird shi-"

Ignoring him, Levi spoke in his best terrifying voice.

"I welcome you..."

Before anyone could react, he pressed a last key, then the monitors emitted such a strong light that all of them had to close their eyes.

  Slowly able to see again, the nine of them suddenly found themselves in a little shack.

"What... What happened...?" Violet was the first one to take a proper look around. "Where are we?!"

Leviathan's laugh pulled them out of their confusion. He spread his arms triumphantly.

"Welllcome tooo....

Trouble in Terrorist Town, the special, virtual reality but actually it's true reality -edition!!"

"Trouble in... What?" Mammon asked.

"Wait..." Clover was searching for Levi's attention. "I know this game, I've played TTT before. But why are we... really here?"

Satan shot his otaku brother a glare.

"Is this one of your real life games that you are only allowed to leave when you win??"

"Kind of," Levi laughed. "Don't worry though, if you die here, you don't die for real. You'll get kicked into a spectator lobby and we'll all respawn together once the round is over."

The oldest brother gave a stressed sigh.

"Really, now..." Lucifer rubbed his temples in distress. "Why do you always force us into playing your games without asking first...?"

"Well... I feared all of you would say no if I did" Levi responded, actually in a slightly sad tone.

When Lucifer breathed another sigh, they heard Asmo giving a weird squeal.

"Look at our outfits tho~!" he hummed.

He was standing in front of a partly broken mirror, posing while blowing his reflection some hot kisses.

"A simple black, military look, slightly armoured just at the right places... And oh my, tight clothes just show all those curves and perfections of my astonishing body..."

As he was looking around to find someone who would agree with him, his eyes landed on Clover.

"Isn't that right, darling~?"

The girl didn't even look at him.

Instead, she was staring at somebody else with a heavy blush covering her face.

"Y-yeah... Curves and... Perf... Perfection..."

Asmo wouldn't need to, but nonetheless he followed her gaze to find the sixth-born.

Of course, Beelzebub noticed this piercing glare that laid on him, but (fortunately for the girl), he was too pure to correctly interpret the thirst behind it.

"Huh? Clover? Are you not feeling well? You look like you have a fever..."

He hurried over to check that her face was truly burning hot, and of course only getting warmer now that he was this close, in this soldier like, perfect, absolutely stunning uniform that just-

"GUYS!!"

Thankfully, Leviathan saved the girl from passing out.

"The game is about to start soon and you don't even know the rules!!"

With a little frown, Violet leaned against the wooden wall that Satan was already rested against.

"So we're really going to play this crazy game...?" she mumbled so only the blond could hear.

She gained a chuckle.

"I guess so..." Satan whispered. "Although I must say, weird and extreme as they may be, but Levi's games can be quite amusing if you just go with the flow."

She mustered him, then a smile spread on her face as well.

"Well, I guess we should take all the opportunities we can to do crazy stuff while Clover and I are here in the Devildom."

Before Satan could answer, Levi threw a pebble at them.

"You listen as well, Normie!!"

Then, he finally went to explain the rules...

  "In our group of nine, there are three that are not like the rest...

They are traitors.

They work as a trio, trying to kill all the other players in order to win the game.

But who are they, you ask yourself?

Well, that is a thing only they know, and THE thing the innocent one's have to find out.

To their guidance is the almighty detective.

Unlike the traitors, the detective can, or should, reveal his role so that the remaining players, called the 'innocents', can protect him better.

Then, logically, the innocents' and detective's goal is to find the three traitors and eliminate them.

When the game starts, we may run out of this shack and will have additional two minutes to spread over the map. Keep in mind that in those two minutes it is impossible to harm your co-players, but after that, it's time for war.

The map is covered with all sorts of weapons that may help you in the epic fights we will have.

But behold!

Both, the traitors and the detective, have access to special weapon shops, where they can, any time, any place, trade achievement points for super cool, limited items to grant their victory!

On your wrists, a health bar will appear, but you can only see your own. Once your life points reach zero, you will be put into said spectator lobby and may follow the game like ghosties in the sky! Then you will also see who has which role."

 Levi took a look around after having finished.

"Any other questions?"

Belphie raised his hand.

"Do the traitors know who the other traitors are? Or can they kill each other?"

"Very good questions! They know of each other, but they may also kill each other if it gives any tactical advantages. Their goal is to have at least one traitor alive at the end of the game while the rest is dead.

Ah, I forgot to say...! If an innocent person or the detective kills another innocent one, they will die as well, as a penalty."

After a round of silence, everyone looked as if they were ready.

"Good to go?" Levi checked one last time.

Gaining nods as an answer, a big smile grew on Levi's face.

"Alright!!! Then...

Let's begin!!!"

  The players were just about all out of the shack when the game officially started.

A giant countdown manifested in the bright sky of day that, judging by the bright sunlight, must have been the sky of the human world.

Two minutes were slowly ticking down.

Levi was pointing up at the clock...

"After this preparation time starts the overall time of one hour. If that time is over, the innocents will win as well. But for every person the traitors kill, they gain five minutes to add to the counter."

... And then he pointed down on his arm.

"You should all see a role written on here. And the traitors will see two other player's names on here as well."

He gained a round of hesitant nods.

"Our player names are displayed above our heads. Be careful, they might reveal your position if you're not hiding well enough."

They heard Belphie snort with laughter.

He pointed above Mammon's head.

"'StupidMammon'? I like that name, it's better than your real one!"

"Huh?!" Mammon looked up to see it himself. "WhAT?! Levi, did you give me this shitty name AGAIN?!??"

"Lolololol, sorry Mammon, I had to."

Kind of automatically, everyone needed to check their names before doing anything else.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow.

"Most of our names are normal, though... We have Beel, Belphie, I am 'Lucifer' as usual..."

"Yep! I am Levi-chan, and the Normies are Violet-chan and Clover-chan."

"What an honour to have a naming scheme fitting your name," Violet smiled.

"Well, I felt kind today. Don't push your luck, or I'll change it into Normie #1 and Normie #2 for the next round."

O moment later, Satan gave a sigh.

"... Why am I called 'Stan'?"

Levi looked at his name.

"... Oh. Must be a typo lololol"

The others laughed a little, while the Avatar of Wrath tried to contain his displease, but out of all, Asmo seemed to find it the most amusing.

Which was weird, because he was completely ignoring the fact that his nickname wasn't normal either, but there was an extra fat "Ass-mo" written above his head...

 After a round of getting used to the sensation of being inside a video game, Violet clasped her hands to finally get things started.

"Could we get going? There's only less then a minute left before the friendly fire wears off."

Very grateful for helping to get the game going, Levi was about to dismiss everyone, when he remembered one important detail.

"WAIT!!" he screamed.

"What?! I wanna go already...!" Asmo whined.

Levi looked around.

"The most important role!! Who's the detective?!"

Everybody shot each other glances, then, finally, a little "ah!" caught their attention.

Their gazes landed on Mammon.

"There's 'detective' written on my left arm, so I guess it's me?"

"WHAT?!" Levi pressed out. "OH, MAN....! Why does it have to be MAMMON?!"

"Well, I guess the innocents are on their own, then," Satan agreed to Levi's resignation.

"With Mammon as the most powerful innocent, the traitors have a clear advantage," Lucifer agreed, too.

"Aw, maaan, and I was hoping for an exciting first round..." Asmo pouted, of course, in agreement.

The white haired male gave a growl.

"H-hey!!! Don't be like this, I'll kill those traitor bitches in no time!!"

But no one was listening.

In a collective sigh, all the others automatically started to move, not a single soul feeling the need to stick to the one person they knew was one of the good ones.

"Hey!!" Mammon called out again. "Aren't ya innocents s'posed to guard me?! Where are y'all going?!?!"

... But no one was listening.

"Grr... Just you wait...! I'll slay this game!!"

And with that, he turned to follow behind Lucifer and Violet, whining and screaming at them to wait for him, only to see how Lucifer was fastening his step.

   Walking through the deserted village and onto a wide, open area, Clover soon felt her fear of being chased kick in.

Somehow, she had ended up all by herself, but that only made stumbling about so much worse.

But now, as she turned her head to check if someone was following her, she saw how Satan had been trying to follow her in silence.

As they locked eyes, however, he greeted her with a smile and went up to her as if nothing had happened.

"... Hi," Clover mumbled carefully.

"Please don't mind my behaviour," the blond said while gesturing to continue walking together. "I still have to figure out how to properly behave in this situation. I mean, it's not every day that we suddenly face each other as maybe allies, maybe enemies... right?"

The girl shot him a sceptical glance.

"Well, that's true... But if your goal is to not appear suspicious, then... Don't to that again. Just a friendly little piece of advice."

Satan laughed.

"Yes, my apologies. You see, you have mentioned you know this game, so I found it best to stick to you."

They halted as they found a pistol laying on a boulder nearby, a package of ammunition right next to it.

Both of them were hesitating, then Satan turned around to continue.

"You take it," he said, obviously trusting that Clover wouldn't shoot his back right this instant.

Well this, or he was already bearing a weapon...

"I've seen people play this game lots," Clover continued the conversation. "I know how everything works, but I'm afraid I'm pretty bad at all the aiming stuff..."

The two reached a weird cliff that parted the land in a huge gap, no ground to be seen in the huge depths. One of those super unstable-looking wooden bridges was leading to the other side.

The platform on the other side was rather small, with only a few buildings in the middle of it.

Satan held his chin in a contemplative manner.

"I bet there must be some rare items waiting for those who would go that far and cross the bridge..."

Clover gave a nod.

"Probably... Welp, you can get the stuff, I have terrible fear of heights, so I'm not going over that wobbly bridge thingy."

The girl was about to leave again, but the male got hold of her wrist.

"No, you're coming with me."

"What?! Why?"

He searched for her eyes.

"Look. I trust that you're innocent, and I ask you to trust me, too. I could have already killed you if I wanted to, when you were all alone. But we need to work together if we want to stand a chance against the traitors and whatever special weapons they might have."

He made a little pause while the girl fought with herself to make up her mind.

"Please," he said again.

Finally, Clover gave an annoyed grunt.

"Fiiiine..." she grumbled. So, she pointed at the bridge. "But you go first... Mister Stan."

She stressed his nickname in a manner to mock him.

Satan looked at her for a moment, dazzled, then he turned around and could only give a breathy laugh.

"See, now you can be sure that I am innocent. Because if I was allowed to kill you just now, I definitely would have."

  "Oooh, Leviii!"

Asmo was nearly doing little jumps while trotting alongside the third-born. His excitement was visible, but very odd, and of course Leviathan noticed that his brother was acting strange.

"Asmo, for Lord Diavolo's sake, what's wrong with you?!"

Putting on his best puppy eyes, Asmo looked at him all innocent.

"Eeh? Shouldn't you be happy that somebody actually enjoys your weird games for once?"

Levi growled in response, moving through the deserted village with such care, as if death could be waiting behind every next corner.

... Well, it could, yes, but his super secret agent act was just... a little too much...

"Sure, but... You're almost TOO excited about this. A little shady, if you ask me... Like, out of all games, why would one where we kill each other be one to wake your interest?!"

He gained a dramatic rolling-of-eyes.

"Oh, please, Levi! It's not the killing or tactical contemplation that gets me excited... But think about the potential that this scenario bears!"

They peeked inside one of the empty houses.

There were two weapons inside, a crowbar and a shotgun without ammunition.

Breaking the nearest window, Levi climbed inside to pick them up, and was kind enough to give Asmo the crowbar even though he hasn't done anything worth gaining it (as Asmo had even been too scared to get a cut from climbing through the broken window so he didn't move an inch).

"What potential, exactly?" Levi asked, more because he felt like Asmo would pressure him into asking that anyway.

Glad that he could continue his speech, Asmo placed a dramatic hand on his forehead.

"The potential for drama, Levi!! Just imagine... us lonely wolves lumbering through the streets, and our maidens Violet and Clover shivering in fear!"

He changed his pose, wrapping his arms around himself as if hugging someone.

"Oh, whom should they trust?? Their hearts, their minds, or just nobody at all?!"

Then, he suddenly grabbed Levi by his shoulders, getting pretty close to his face.

"Love blooms in times of war, Levi! And I will take every chance I can to see those flowers in their full beauty!"

Silence.

Then, Levi gave an exhausted sigh.

"... Can you please go away...?"

And Asmo let go of him.

"Tsk. Okay, if you're not mentally able to understand the depth of my words, then I shall find a better place to fulfill my tasks...!"

  "Sooo, Beel, where you wanna go?"

The twins were already out of town, kind of heading towards the edge of a nearby forest.

The taller one seemed to be searching for something.

Then, he held his stomach.

"I'm... Hungr-"

"No, don't even say it" Belphie sighed. "Are you, really? Even inside a game?"

Beel only gave a pout, so Belphie continued after a while.

"Well, if we must secure you won't go on a rampage and destroy the whole game, then the forest might be the best place to find something for you."

And so, Belphie continued heading straight towards the green.

After a while, however, Belphie noticed how his brother wasn't following any more.

Turning around, Beel had stopped completely and was looking off into the distance behind them.

When Belphegor asked him what was wrong, the other male slowly shook his head.

"Where did everyone run off to?" Beel asked. "I can't see any of the other players..."

"Hm... I saw Violet, Lucifer and Mammon go into the forest as well... Asmo and Levi seemed to have stayed near the village... And I don't know where Satan has gone."

Now Beel turned his head.

"And Clover?"

"Uhm... She went somewhere... there, I think. I heard her talk with Levi when we left, but it seemed like she wasn't going to stay with him."

"So she's all alone right now?"

Belphie got a little confused over Beel's worried expression.

"Well, maybe. But she could be a traitor, so why are you so worried about her?"

Beelzebub's gaze drifted away again.

"I just... Don't like that thought." He snapped back at his smaller brother. "And by the way, you could be a traitor as well."

Belphie leaned back in a carefree manner.

"Yeah, but I told you I'm not. You don't believe me? I believe you're innocent, too!"

Beel gave a little sigh.

"But you can read me like a book, even if I tried lying to you..."

They kept standing there in a little silence.

Then, without further ado, Beel grabbed his brother by his arm, turned around, and kept going into a different direction.

"Beel, what are you...?! Weren't you hungry?! What about the forest??"

"... I sense food over there. Don't worry, and let's get going."

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 13! I don’t have all that much to say about it. But there were three things in particular I really liked!

Sorato moments! It may be small (I mean, they’re kids and they’ve known each other for like a day), but no one will be able to say Sora and Yamato didn’t have any development in this season!

Sora Getting Shit Done! She’s as cool as Yamato. Scratch that, she’s cooler than Yamato. She’s honest and compassionate. She’s brave like Taichi, values her friends as much as Yamato, AND she can get along with both of them. Bahahaha.

SO MANY adorable Jou&Gomamon moments this episode. Like seriously. SO MANY.

I’ll just tack some here:

More below!

So our two groups are still separated! Jumping ahead, but next week we’ll see MegaKabuterimon, and that rounds out two episodes for each group. But that still leaves Zudomon’s appearance. Just a hunch, but my guess is we’ll see him the episode after which will be the reunion episode too. If not, I suppose the groups are gonna stay separated longer, but this is my guess.

So, once again, our kids have been in this world for Not Very Long At All. It doesn’t seem like they’ve had to stop and sleep so far, though they’ve eaten a bit. Probably it’s still the same day in digital world time o.o It’s completely plausible that they’ve been sleeping and we’re just not being told about it though. This is a kids show, next week Koushirou could be like “we’ve been walking for a week!” and we’ll just have to roll with it lol. But until that happens, I’m going with it’s been about a day and almost everyone’s easily got two evolutions under their belt. Evolving is much easier in this season - Taichi and Yamato even got a Jogress already - so it’s definitely past time to throw out old concepts of how evolving work. The kids clearly have Crests, but they don’t know what they are, which means that’s a thing we’ll be seeing in the future. In spite of that, they can evolve to higher levels. So, maybe something else is in store for them when the Crests become important. Very interesting.

We are back with the trio who’s got their shit slightly more together. Except for Jou’s stomach. Was really amused by Yamato using binoculars. I assume Sora brought them. I’m so used to Taichi’s telescope, but it only makes sense that each group should have some working gear!

Also par for the course, Yamato looking at what’s ahead while Jou’s being sick and Sora’s in between helping them both :P

They find this thing. The hive of brainwashed mecha soldier bees. The person who wrote this episode has definitely had a bad run in with suzumebachi.

As they try to escape, Jou immediately falls off Birdramon.

Me: “Oh no! Someone go help him!”

Gomamon:

Me: “NO NOT YOU”

Like I know they’re partners... but Gomamon doesn’t even have hands. xD All he can do (and all he does do!) is fall together. They’re partners so it’s not surprising, but still... Wheeeeeee!

Honestly though it is just so adorable to me how useless Jou is and how hard Gomamon tries for him... even though Gomamon has a lot more excuse for being useless. I mean, he’s made for a water habitat.

Gabumon: “Jou’s with Gomamon, so he should be okay...”

-___- You know nothing, Jon Snowmon. You know nothing about how much trouble Jou can get himself in

See!?!?!?!??!?! DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THEY’RE OKAY TO YOU, GABUMON??? EAT YOUR WORDS!!!

This is what happens when you try to too hard to make a bee cute. So overdesigned xP It’s like hitting me on the head saying “I’M CUTE, LOOK AT ME!! I’M CUTE!!!” like chill dude, it’s ok. just chill

I guess it works on Sora though, she’s as concerned for this cutie pie as she is for Jou... maybe more.

We make a quick switch to group number 2 who are finally living up to my expectations for how nuts they are. Koushirou’s connection is turbulent, to use the lingo Tumblr always pisses me off with!

Mimi offers to help. “My grandpa can get you a better one!” She... she tries.

Taichi offers to help too. “Times like this you just gotta whack it!” Koushirou looks appropriately terrorized.

I’m so relieved to know Taichi and Mimi are both still batshit.

Yamato and Sora hatch a plan to save Jou by getting themselves captured too. Honestly the show doesn’t spend enough time on the cool stuff like hatching this plan! It just happens! It def got me thinking how brave and cooperative Sora is. Like, we already know Yamato is cool, and he has more experience in the digital world than the others. But Sora just rolls with it. She’s not freaking out, she’s thinking things through, and she can help strategize. 99 Adventure was like “Girls don’t need to do things like pedal swan boats or take watch at night!” This ones like “Girls can definitely do those things! As long as they are pink when they do them!”

Jou and Gomamon arrive in the hive where they are immediately separated... and Jou is thrown out with the trash. BAHAHAHA. GEEZ this show will not ease up on Jou!!

by the way... Gabumon... ARE YOU EATING YOUR WORDS YET!?!?

Sora and Yamato make it inside and hitch a ride on Garurumon...

... They both jump like this when they need to get off so Garurumon can evolve. With jumping style like that, Sorato is a ship made n heaven.

Fuck everything I said about Gomamon working best in his water habitat, IT WAS ALL A LIE. First swimming through sand, now this. Jou has LITERALLY NO EXCUSE for being as useless as he is anymore

also Wolverfish is back, I am some day going to make one of those old geocities shrine sites just for Wolverfish

They are surrounded on all sides though, so what should we do? “Go down.” Yamato, DID YOU FORGET WE ARE IN THE AIR.

Once again Sora is A-OK with all of this! Jou’s the only one having a normal human reaction to A HOLE OPENING IN THE FLOOR OF AN AIRBORNE VESSEL

Gomamon T____T Jou would be mince meat without you

It turns out that Yamato’s shitty plan wasn’t so shitty after all, because either he and Sora talked about what they’d have to do if the couldn’t stay inside the hive, or Sora is psychic. Or just that good at cleaning up after hot-headed men. Anyway yeah Birdramon to the rescue.

For a hot second there it looked like Yamato was going to be like “We don’t have time to save those Digimon” again. Which, I thought we worked through last time, so I was confused. BUT it turns out he only wanted Sora to know he’s got her number. He’s figured out she’s not the type who can turn her back when someone needs help, even if she’s got her own priorities to think about. Sora’s selfless. Yamato clues into that. AND HE TOTALLY SUPPORTS HER <3

Urrrk can Yamato do anything that isn’t Cool

I just love the way he holds them.

Sora faces off with the hive... who’s blast causes a volcanic eruption or something!

Birdramon fights back!

It’s not very effective!!!

Now as much as this is supposedly a Sora episode... she’s had some cool moments but it doesn’t feel like Her Episode as much as last week felt like Mimi’s ep, or the weeks before felt like they belonged to Taichi and Yamato. So actually, that makes it strike number two for Sora, although this episode is definitely better than episode four. It’s not fair. I’m just glad we got some new stuff for her this time, but the writers seem so determined to make her the “good girl” that they forgot character development needs to involve some stakes. So, in place of that, they just do another montage.

First Sora reflects on how useless Jou is.

Then she reflects on how hot Yamato looks when he’s totally helpless.

Then she thinks about how the two of them remind her of pitiful baby bees.

The result... Garudamon!!! Always my favorite Ultimate evolution.

It’s a laaaaaaaser battle!!!!

Yamato’s like “Holy crap I’ve got to get with this girl”

We then set up the intro for next week’s episode, with Koushirou’s computer starting to work again, though not completely. I want it to not work at ALL so Koushirou can be like “i’m no longer useful to my friends, woe is me!” and his friends can be all “Koushirou you’re my best pal no matter what!” and then he saves the day using his noggin. If it was good enough for Mimi’s grandpa it’s good enough for you.

I’m also amused to learn that in spite of apparently selling computers, Mimi’s grandpa too is an advocate of hitting them to make them work.

Agumon mimicking every adorable thing Taichi does is adorableness overload.

Taichi once again offers to smack the computer, like the Taichi of my childhood. However, he claims he’s joking. He’s a 21st century kid after all.

Agumon tells him hitting the computer will hurt his hand, so he should let Agumon do it instead T___T omg that’s the cutest thing EVER I’d give this episode ten stars for this moment alone

but ignoring adorable Taichi/Agumon and Jou/Gomamon moments, I’ll give this episode a 6.5/10. It was almost there! It really needed more Sora though! You know, the spotlight character of the week??

I just don’t feel her as convincingly as the others... which is in part intentional, I think, because that’s Sora. She doesn’t talk about her own feelings so much, she’s private, but she cares very deeply about those around her. I absolutely am with that, but I think that’s really challenging to write, and it wouldn’t bother me so much if we were getting more development in small ways for all the kids all the time. Instead the primary way is these spotlight episodes. We had them in 99 Adventure too, but there was more dialogue between the kids. Watching this episode, I had a thought like “This reminds me of a formulaic Pokemon episode.” As in, there’s someone to rescue, we rescue them, it has little to no consequence for us on a personal level and next week we won’t even mention it happened. At least this episode, they did mention Neemon’s group, to show how this is a pattern for Sora. I’m gonna cross my fingers that means Sora’s going to come out big in the future, we just gotta believe in her and wait. That being said, I’m not trying to be negative, I am also happy that we got these bits for her at all, and especially that we got it confirmed that Yamato sees through her as much as she sees through him!

Next week’s preview...

Kabuterimon: koushirou, you are helpless without your computer, never forget that!

... x’D not

Totally stoked for a Koushirou episode. I hope it kicks butt. Even if it doesn’t, we still get a good helping of my boy Koushirou. <3

[popculturebuffet]

Legend of the Three Cablleros: Pyra-Mid Life Crisis Review “Get Back, Ya MonkeyBatDonkeyRat”

Saludos Amigos! After four days of working on intensly exausting and through projects, my best of the year list and second Scott Pilgrim review, it’s nice to get back to some fun hyjinks with my boys. And boy oh boy.. did I get that. This one was a fun one.. not the best so far and we’ll get to it’s flaws as we go but damn if it wasn’t hilarous and insanely weird. 

So let’s get right to it, on with the show.  We pick up where we left off, Leopold, Felldrake’s mummified monkeybatdonkeyrat, as the boys come to refer to him, is carrying donald off and after a game of “What the fuck is this thing” And Jose understandably asking Xandra what the fuck is that, they try freeing him wiht Xandra successfully shooting him down... before the boys nearly kill donald with spikes and other pointy things before using Panchito’s hat to catch him. 

So Leopold returns to his master, and Feldrake reveals his plan for the episode: Their going to egypt. Okay so FELDRAKE is the reason Ancient Egypt is so evil. Huh, you learn something every day.  Meanwhile the boys try to hide because well.. Donald just got kidnapped and they’ve been at this one day. After some meh shenanigans, Xandra reveals her world map, where she can fast travel to any location with a “spark point”. Oh boy that means we’ll be getting  Zoey’s Infinite Playlist Crossover any day now... but while we ait for that, and we get a nice bit of the boys comparing the map to a GPS and Xandra for once being the one whose totally lost with the girls just nodding for her to accept it. But she can also track felldrake with it. You may be wondering “Wait why and how” but I thought of that: Because the original cabs mission once freeing Xandra was undoing Feldrake’s damage, she likely set up the atlas to track traces of his magic, and any flare ups in case he somehow returned.

So our heroes are off to egypt, though while the girls are staying behind, they give Donald the magic mirror from last episode so they can call them if they need them. HOnestly.. a pretty clever setup and a way to let April, May and June help without having to shove them into every episode. And being a fan of Ducktales, having it feel organic that a character isn’t going and still finding things for them to do is just.. it’s nice okay. Seriously Frank why didn’t you watch this. You still have hte better show so far but come on. 

My griping about another show aside our boys are off to Egypt.. anddddd in the middle of the desert.... wait so Xandra set up fast travel world wide to alls orts of leylines and stuff.. but the best she could do in freaking egypt.. was in the middle of one of the many stretches of uninhabitable desert. 

I mean I get it for some locations but this is freaking Egypt.. why isn’t the pyramid their going to the fast travel point. Start making sense making sense! Anyways so Feldrake gets an easy lead because Xandra took her stupid pills when picking this spot while Xandra and the cabs sweat it out, eventually arriving after them. We also get a really great bit where Panchito and Jose give the camels their water, and then Donald naturally needs some. I”m.. i’m not giogn to questoin where theyg ot suplies or anything, again the bigger issue of “why was your mystical fast travel point in the middle of nowhere” still stands. I mean at least say it was the best she could do or it screwed up or something. Not just “whoops guess we gotta somehow get camels to get the pyramids. “ Sheldgoose and Feldrake are ahead of them, and while obviously I can’t cover EVERY single bit.. there is a TON of good banter this episode, as Kevin Micheal Richardson shows a humerous side to feldrake, constnatnly insulting Sheldgoose, rightfully so, and just in genereal being throughly hilarious. Which given I was expecting him to be a pretty 1 dimensional bad guy, It was a nice suprise. My faviorite being when they fall on a skeleton “You are useless.. not you Carla, I like you... liked you”. The point is our villians are ahead and our heroes have to get past Leopold. Xandra suggests strategy.. but Donald’s already ahead to do a Donald and yell at it, wanting revenge. Before Donald can die horribly, Xandra simply blinds him and they run inside, accidently triggering all the traps and taking out leopold. Leopold finds his master.. just in time for the Cabs to find a control room.. 

Oh.. the what has not even begun as a button Panchito presses.. sends a rocket off to the MOON. 

Yup their going there. As Feldrake explains to sheldgoose, rapidly as he dosent have the patience for it but to Sheldgoose’s credit he picks up on all of it, the pyramid is a ship, aliens built the pyramids in this universe, they  mysteriously vanished but left a city full of robot soldiers on t he moon, hence why we’re going there. 

Yeah this is GLORIOUSLY weird stuff, our heroes having to go into space to fight an army of astro-mummies and ancient robots copotped by an ancient sorcerer. Yes.. yes just.. gimmie. This is insane in the best ways. WHat’s not is that the boys can’t work the ship together as they approach the dark side of the moon... huh I wonder why the moonlanders left all this here. Questions for later.  Oh .. and theirs an astro mummy on board, forcing Panchito to reveal he’s a famous luchador and he and xandra hold him off while Jose and Donald TRY to pilot the ship but can’t translate the manual and just make things worse. Thankfully he remembers the mirror and asks the girls for help, so they put the instruction manal through a translator. 

So with our heroes subuding the mummy and having instructoins they finally encounter feldrake and sheldgoose, whose in a cool looking hood with a mask and is naturally baffled to find his idiot neighbors who screwed him over are on this spaceship with him, while Panchito asks to donald’s reply. “You ever been to a party where everyone knows everyone but you? “ “Every day of my life”. PFFT.  But the whole group notices their about to crash so the bad gys use the escape part which Xandra condems as cowardly.. before admitting that was her plan too. Thankfully the girls come through, and they land.. I mean kinda.. Donald insists on landing, but their alive so better than Jose expected.  So on the moon.. wait let me cue the approraite music. 

There we go. Scrooge is on the other side though, long story. Point is our boys disembark sharing the astromummy suit and Xandra says they need to work as a team. The.. where did this moral come from? No seriously their incompitent sure, ti’s part of their charm.. but this dosen’t reallyc ome up till the last act. Them not working together. Sure they push a lot of random buttons but this seems like they pulled a teamwork moral out of their ass, especailly since them learning to work together is a GOOD idea, it’s a classic trope for a reason teams take time to get the rythum right, it’s just sorta shohorned into an otherwise unrealted space adventure. But they soon find the bad guys have taken over a giant super robot, and have the army preparing to blast off for earth. Uh-Oh. While Xandra prepares to stand and fight the boys.. flee. 

And while this is played off as their usualy incompetence... their the right ones this time. Xandra is thor with hawkeye , the good one from the comics, aim. She is VERY powerful.. but as it bears out even she can’t take down a whole army. She can fight them well enougha nd destroys man, in a very awesome sequence reminscent of Claude from Fire Emblem three houses, been playing that lately good game, but... she’s one person. And the boys are three normal guys with no combat training in a clunky robot suit. What’d you EXPECT them to be able to do? They made the right call.. as while they ran off they also found a giant robot of their own so we get an evil sorecer versus donald duck, panchito and jose, both in giant robots on the fucking moon. 

Look at times i’m a simple man. But if you can’t enjoy donald duck and his two best friends fighting an evil sorecerer, his descedant voiced by Wayne Knight, and a donkey bat rat, with both parties in giant robots .. I don’t get you and enver will. Our heroes end up finally working together smoothly with each boy taking a leg and donald? “I’ll take the fists!”.. bad...ass. And he does and despite a tense fight our heroes win, destroy the ships and donald FUCKING UPERCUTS FELDRAKE’S MECH’S HEAD OFF AND SENDS THEM INTO SPACE. Our heroes won, relfect ont heir teamwork because apparnelty that’s the lesson and Feldrake and Sheldgoose head home, with Feldrake pointing out that those idiots being next door means their just an easier target for him. 

Fianl Thoughts; This was a fun episode. While the teamwork thing is kinda.. shoved in there everything else is just a brisque, fun and rediclous adventure episode. And this is from someone who dosen’t like the ancient aliens idea for the pyramid as it has racisim at it’s core.. but works here because clearly their just being rediclous. I didn’t even get to the flight attendant or half the jokes. This is just a really fun, charming, delightfully cheese episode. And sometimes.. that’s all you need. Unitl the next rainbow, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.