#everyone called me a bitter hater but no! that show was bad!

[indi-glo-archive]

this is a good time for all of us to remember when I said I would be ready to sing the show's praises if it got better at the things i disliked it for

[deaneverafter]

Nope, this false image that's gaining traction due to people's "joking" insults, the idea that Jensen is incompetent and nothing more than a pretty face, that he's not responsible for his own career and that Danneel is the mastermind behind his success... it's getting out of hand.

I expect this from the loser extras, including but not limited to, Misha, Briana, Kim, Rich, Rob. They're desperate for fandom (heller) approval & they resent Jensen (& Jared), hate that J2 were integral to the show, unlike them. So the s*x*al harassment and digs are a two in one, get clout AND revenge. I didn't expect such behaviour from TW cast (if someone gives you your big break/starts your whole career, the least they should be able to expect is basic decency), mocking, belittling Jensen, so I was disappointed. But all things considered, seeing the behaviour that was someone was modeling for them, encouraging them into, I guess it shouldn't be surprising. I've even come to expect it from fandom people, heller and non heller alike, who are highly involved in the con circuit, since the resentment many people in this fandom have against Jensen for being everything they can't be, everything they can't have, is so blatant. Their snide "jokes" about "you're not my fave, your brother-in-law/Misha/JoJo are", "you're nothing to me, I love your wife [but I did spend thousands of dollars to be in *your* presence to tell you that]" are their bitterness manifesting, plus, the con handlers encourage it too.

But now, to see crew members from Supernatural, people who worked w/ Jensen for a decade & a half, people who had a job for 15 years because Jensen (and Jared) stayed, people who've seen his work ethic, his talent... for them to turn around and make fun of him, it's too much. And for what? To get clout by spreading this weird "joke" (frigging insult) that Danneel is the successful producer who is sustaining his career, and Jensen is just her loser husband, her puppet? Like, I'm sorry, but I'm failing to see the "humour" in such digs. I don't get it.

And what's perhaps worst of all, is that these people only get away with it because so called fans don't call it out, even defend & make such claims themselves. I get why hellers love it, no one hates Jensen more than the Misha / destiel cult. But what's everyone else's reason? You guys cry about the big, bad coven day in, day out, when such toxic environment towards Jensen, surely started by hellers, but sustained by the rest of the fandom, could do much more damage than the haters could ever even dream of doing. What happens when people outside the fandom start hearing and believing such things? Casual fans don't do a deep dig. They hear something, and they think, ah, must be true (and I don't blame them. You can't conduct a dissertation on every artist you like).

How can you call yourself a Jensen fan and then hear such pathetic insults, disguised as funny jokes, and laugh? How can you sit back and watch this disease spread like wildfire, this image of him that he's not responsible for his own career? That he's just a pretty face, a puppet Danneel is pulling by the strings, who only has a career because Danneel has her hand on the wheel? I'm not sure what people feel Jensen has done to deserve this, to have all his hard work, commitment, effort, be dismissed this way, smh, and by people who claim to be his fans, at that. Snakes in the grass, more like.

What's also interesting is that Danneel's fans never put her down to hype Jensen up. Her friends take it one step further than jokes. They seriously claim that she's the one behind Jensen's career & success, that she's the one making things happen behind the scenes. Danneel herself literally pushes this agenda that Jensen "only moves left and right, and does what it does, because I have my hands on it", because I guess it gives her an ego trip and makes her feel relevant, assuages her insecurities a bit, while all Jensen does is support her and her whims and hypes her up.

And I just-? This makes it even crazier to me that some "Jensen Ackles fans" are not only condoning these false claims being made, they're actually the ones hammering them in, trying to brainwash the rest of the fandom, bullying people into going with these stories? Let's get this clear. Jensen has a successful career, including a steady stream of excellent jobs since he was 18, coworkers (the genuine ones anyway) who only praise him, directors/writers who want to work with him again, because of HIS hard work, HIS talent, HIS work ethic. He also has Chaos Machine because he worked hard enough, gained enough trust, that higher ups were ready to take a chance on Jensen and his projects. Danneel has Chaos Machine, the Supernatural role and any other roles she might get through CM (so essentially the entirety of her career in recent history) because she's married to Jensen. Her own career independent of Jensen peaked at a recurring role as a high school mean girl, trampling on others to make herself feel special. Since then, all her relevance or "career" has been because of Jensen and Jensen's name. That's literally it. I know this is a touchy topic for some people, but if someone's responsible for the other's career and relevance, it sure as hell is not Danneel ☕ And stealing credit from Jensen and his work and slapping it next to her name isn't going to change that. If the goal is truly to hype her up, and not go put Jensen down, and one wants to prove she's a girlboss, surely she has her own accomplishments one can brag about? Credit stolen from his work shouldn't be required.

If you call yourself a Jensen fan, act like it. Protect him, instead of cackling with a-holes mocking and degrading him. Stop dismissing his work and success to prop others up. And if you can't, then drop the "Ackles fan" in your bio and start calling yourself a hater 🤷🏻‍♀️

[nietp]

Everyone and their mother is doing energy drink reviews these days but they all look laughable to me. They're out here reviewing RedBull and Crazy Tiger Lemon like we're in 2018.... aren't you ashamed to post such basic stuff? What are you doing? We're way past that. You look stupid. Anyway. It's been a while... Let me show you my sexy selection.

Carabao Energy Drink: interesting because it goes back to the very origin of energy drinks: Thailand! The first energy drink was created in Thailand in 1975, and was then adapted to create RedBull. So thank you for that. Carabao is the most popular energy drink in Thailand after RedBull. God we're learning so much today! The can size is cute, however it tastes extremely sweet and sour, and is not carbonated at all which was kind of unsettling. Interesting experience though, it's a completely different taste palette from western energy drinks imo. I drank 2 cans and felt nothing, as usual! 3/5 stars.

Onto the next one for a widely different story!

Freez Mix Energy Dragon: I forgot to take a pic but believe me, we did buy that stupid thing. First of all, these drinks are packaged like beer bottles as a 6-pack, which I should have been suspicious of. I found out at the cash register that the 6-pack costs 10€ but by then it was too late, and luckily the cashier was also drinking an orange RedBull so when she saw my face fall at the price, she joked about RedBull being even more expensive instead of making fun of me, so I knew I was in a safe space for idiots and alpha males. So basically when it comes to the taste....it's bad? I'm so sorry for being a hater but this is just not good and not what I expect from an energy drink. Luckily for the Freez Mix company, before I'm a hater, I'm also an intellectual and a scientist, so I looked up their website to understand their intent and creative process. This wasn't hard to do, because on the bottle right nex to the cap was a QR code that said "Scan the QR code to open the bottle safely!". I was like... Do you think I'm stupid? I need a QR code to do what now? And then I opened the bottle and spilled the drink all over myself. This drink is carbonated to the high heavens. So we scanned the code, which links you to a stupid YouTube video where they show how to open the bottle, and they opened it normally just like I did, but they're just full of lies because their drink didn't spill all over. Anyway! So we also checked their website and found out they're really trying to create a line of fancy drinks that will look good at parties where everyone drinks alcohol but you don't. So this is why this energy drink has like a beer fursona. And tastes like shit non-alcoholic beer mixed with energy drink. I also found out that's it's called Dragon because it's supposed to be dragonfruit flavoured? I wouldn't have guessed. To me it tastes too bitter to be an energy drink, but it's not like it's a jägerbomb either. This drink just hasn't found itself yet. It's on a journey. Unfortunately, I needed to be on a journey too since we bought 6 of these, so I had to learn to like the taste, and the fact that every single bottle spills everywhere no matter how you open it. Possibly so you can chug it at frat parties like a real beer? I don't think that would make you very popular. 2/5 stars, this drink was all over the place.

Bang Energy Drink Candy Apple Crisp: so this one sent me in a bit of a crisis. Not much to say about it, but avid readers will remember that I once reviewed a personal favourite, Monster Energy Ultra Paradise, and said that it tasted like the green apple artificial flavour. However, this Bang is now supposed to taste exactly like that but with sugar candy on top. However², I don't see how you can make a drink that already usually tastes fully of sugar taste like more sugar. So this just tastes like energy drink with an artificial apple flavour, but NOT as much as the Monster one that isn't supposed to taste like that at all. Life is complicated. I just feel like this Bang is a travesty of something I love and cherish. 2/5 stars, the flavour was okay but -3 taken for the disrespect of my loved ones.

[sextonsharpwinhalstead]

Yeah, I was trying to say without saying and being more long-winded than I already was. That there are a lot of men in the Med writer's room. And that was the quickest thing they could do without completely damaging her character. But it was just enough that it would tack on to everything else they already had planned and I refuse to believe the writers and showrunners don't understand how negative storylines will also get a character trashed especially black and other nonblack poc characters. Because there's no way they thought their writing in 5 made sense. From her and Choi openly flirting in the ED for the first time in what 3 seasons. Then her random crush on Marcel, the kiss. Then her not exactly apologizing for it and being sort of callous when she's still working with CM and Ethans offended. And lord Ethan crying to Ms. Goodwin yeah that will really get to the fans, especially the anti-Chexton fans who want to make it clear they're not anti-the actress they're just so ToXiC. While forgetting that Halstead was a total asshat to Natalie in the beginning and they fought and broke up for dumb sxxt too. And all the people still crying over Ava and Rhodes all these years later as if it isn't weird that all Ava did was basically neg Connor and Robin in the beginning. How is that not toxic? And if April is a B like everyone claims then Choi needs to were an asshole hat too.

I search the tags when I can't sleep and the number of fans losing their shit here and on Twitter when April probably has been on the screen for longer than 30 minutes in the 2 episodes we've actually seen her face is insane. Many of them are mad because their fave isn't back, so that's one aspect. The others are laughing because her show was canceled and basically doing everything but calling her u---ty for daring to leave. And swearing that she's only back because of that when there is evidence to the contrary. We can't hold our breath but if the spoilers I've seen aren't OC trolling us with pictures from scrapped storylines, then these haters better prepare to be sick of me. Because I won't rest if Chexton gets the happy ending Brian wanted in 2020.

There are always too many men. That's it that's the thought lol. The way they play in our face like we don't notice is wild.

The more I thougut about it the more I think that they added Marcel because they remembered that April started the show with a fling with Kelly. Which meant that she was capable of that kind of fun hookup. The problem is they didn't do ANYTHING to further that in six seasons. Neither before or after Ethan. And they are capable of it because we've watched Will and Connor bone their way through Chicago. Like a common problem with One Chicago is they forget to write anyone who isn't white a love interest/personal lives. They forget that many fans find them desirable.

Back when they introduced the Marcel/April story and everyone was crying and whining in my f*cking inbox about poor Ethan I wanted to make a meme of Vicki sipping tea because ETHAN CHEATED ON HER WITH APRIL and NEVER came clean. It was just kiss for both of them but you'd think that April murdered his sister the way people act. Or that Ethan wasn't capable of the same. I guess because it was in service to Chexton no one cared. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I truly believe Chexton is going to get a hopeful ending. Yaya is on her way to joining the cast of The Lincoln Lawyer, it's Netflix which is about as bad as Fox so I hope it works out but I think Yaya was interested in giving her character the closure she deserved and Ethan too. I just like knowing April finished her program and works independently. Now she gets love too and folks can die mad about it.

You don't have to like Chexton but folks might wanna check why they are so bitter seeing these two characters happy in a farewell, KNOWING Ethan has grown is... telling.

And yes it's wild that ppl still bitch about Ava and Rhodes and Manst*ad. Those ships were toxic AF. You have to be an Ava apologist to pretend you didn't see how batshit she was the ENTIRE time, people are like "you ruined her" and I'm like, "Are yall okay?!" Natalie was snotty AF to Will and Will was misogynistic AF to Natalie. Everyone hated her and only cared about her in that ship. Mess.

[treadmilltreats]

What Gets Me Through

With all that life throws at us, especially with all that is going on with the world today, it’s hard. Some days, it is even hard to get out of bed. Add to that the times that you can't stop crying because it feels like the world is coming at you, and it all adds up to some really hard times.

So, how do I deal with all of this? Yes, even I, Miss Postive, go through tough times. There is only one thing that gets me through it all and keeps me sane, and that is my God. I know that he will keep me, and I know that he will provide for me. I know that he will protect me, even when I feel he is not listening. At times when I want things now, I know he is there and that he is an on-time God, maybe just not on my time.

I am learning patience. Maybe I needed to know who really had my back before fame came, and I was blinded. Maybe he had to show me some men that I dated, true colors so that when the man he has for me shows up, I will know what a good man looks like.

Maybe he has the haters come at me now, so I will learn what to do when thousands of haters attack me because of the words I speak.

Maybe the reason that things come and go and that hard times come at me is because he wants me to depend only on him. Maybe I needed to go through the storm to appreciate the sunshine. I know that I needed the bad times to really make me grateful for what I have now.

Even through all of this craziness, and the world that is losing its mind, I am still appreciated for what I do have, even if it's not what I asked for .

See, I now look at everything as a lesson. What is the lesson in this? Even through the pandemic and things seem so bad, I still asked, “What am I supposed to learn from this?”

Every single time, I know that I am supposed to learn something, so I stop and listen to God's voice to find out what that is. Is it easy? Oh please, no... it is far from easy, especially for someone like me who is so hard-headed, but these are lessons we need to learn, to move on to our next journey.

See if I didn't go through hell, if I didn't walk through the fire, I wouldn't have known my strength to walk on fire, literally! If I didn't hit rock bottom, I wouldn't know what it takes to pull myself out and when I hit rock bottom the second time, I knew what it took to do it, yet again.

If I didn't feel betrayal, then I wouldn't know true loyalty. If I didn't date all these crappy men, and still believed that a good man was coming then I wouldn't have learned the lessons that the Prince had taught me or been able to appreciate when the great man God is sending to me shows up.

If I didn't know failure, then I couldn't appreciate winning and success. Yes, all of this is bringing me one step closer to his final goal for me, his purpose for my life.

This....this crazy ride we call life. It is all about our testimony and what we do with it.

Either we can become bitter, angry, and negative and say to everyone, "Life sucks, look nothing ever goes right. I have nothing, nothing but bad luck, and it's never going to change. "

We all know people like this. Hell, my own grandma was exactly like this. But I chose to wear my failures, like a badge of honor. I chose to always look on the bright side. I chose to tell my testimony to show others what is possible if you believe... this is what I chose to do.

So today my friends remember, the choice is yours... you can live your life in negativity, you can hate on your circumstances and curse God and the universe. You can go through life saying “Why me” or you can be like me and choose to see the bright side, and to see the glass half full. To believe what he has you and that God will take care of you. Then you will be able to say with confidence to the next person who needs to hear it... This is what gets me through.

"Be the change you want to see,"

@TreadmillTreat

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[scattered-winter]

qpr buddietalia... <333 my third eyes is wide open, thank u <3

btw, i agree with the disclaimer you posted! my relationship with Buddie The Ship and Buddie The Fandom are two very very very different things that i need to keep separate for my own sanity. you see, i love canon buddie as they are, and i personally do not think that it's realistic for them to become a romantic couple as of now (but you never know if there will be a massive shift in writing in the future), but i definitely love how people use the canon moments to write beautiful romantic buddie fanfics. their canon closeness and silliness and chemistry is superb fodder for my heart and soul– and what people do with it to create heartwarming stories is fantastic! it's a lovely ship that is blessed with tons of amazing writers.

however, around season 4, the buddie tumblr fandom started getting more hateful and the hate for other characters (especially female ones) got so loud and disproportionate that i simply had to unfollow the entire fandom. i could not even read buddie fic for 2 years and deleted most of my bookmarks of it because i could not stand the ship anymore. it left a horrible bitterness in my mouth imagining the characters even. and that was so sad to experience because ik that ultimately, the characters and the ship itself are not to blame. but the fandom experience was able to poison everything else to me, so i had to leave it behind for awhile. stopped watching 911, stopped seeing any 911 content on my dash. now, i am back to casually watching the show, and i can enjoy buddie fics again (thankfully, most of them tag character bashing correctly, so it feels safe enough to me), but i decided to never engage with any other buddie content (gifsets and such). i tried, but i often end up seeing twisted facts or misinterpretations or character hate interwoven in them that i just cannot stand anymore. i am a firm believer that buck and eddie girlies (gn) would actually kill each other if they weren't shipping buddie, but that's a totally different can of worms about the 911 fandom that i don't wanna open here lol.

what i mean to say is... enjoying a ship does not mean that we have to be 100% uncritical of the fandom! i do not think that you are a hater for bringing up reasonable critique! it can be a difficult balancing act sometimes, though, with how fast others sometimes judge fellow shippers in bad faith. i hope that whoever enjoys buddie in any capacity knows that they can enjoy it however they like, and that they should never feel pressured to enjoy it a certain way just because the fandom seems to dictate it. all this should be about your personal joy! romantic or platonic or qp buddie?? it's all good, as long as you enjoy yourself imo.

sending love, i hope you have a great day today! <3

YEAH I'm sorry it's been such a bad experience for u !! it always sucks ass when fandom takes the fun out of something :(

THANKFULLY I've sort of curated a little corner for myself in the fandom where I'm basically doing whatever the fuck I want and if everyone else leaves me alone I leave them alone (what I like to call Ye Olde Wild Animal Method) (and I don't think I have enough actual influence in this fandom to really piss anyone off which works for me I'm just vibing) and so far it's been working for me!! but I wasn't in the fandom to experience the Big Shift so. who can say. if there's anything the dc fandom has taught me, it's how to ignore 90% of a fandom for ur own sanity ndbsmvslsb

[makesitprecious]

Andrew!Peter: I'm so lame compared to you guys

Tom!Peter: what?! no you're not!!!

Tobey!Peter: You're amazing. You're AMAZING.

Andrew!Peter: Awe, shucks...

Tobey!Peter: You're AMAZING!!!!! You ArE AMaZINg!!!

Me: This is for all the haters, this is for Andrew feeling he hadn't lived up to the legacy he loved so much ever since he was a child. This is Andrew monologue as Peter saying he was "bitter" after Gwen died and how Andrew said he was - and I quote - "heartbroken" after playing Spider-Man. Andrew!Peter saying he stopped pulling punches, but then decided to be better, then Andrew - having heard the call to No Way Home - decided to return to the franchise he loved even though it broke his heart because he wanted that love in his heart again and not the sadness of SONY producers and editors chopping up TASM 2 so bad people said it was horrible despite ALL the hard work every person put into it. This is for Andrew being forgotten as an acrobat and doing all his own stunts just like Tom, until Ellen reminded every one by everyone by having him do a standing backflip on her show. For Andrew loving Tobey's movies and supporting Tom because he loved his work, even though everyone said Tom "replaced" him and that Tom was "the best Spider-Man". This is Tobey calling Andrew "amazing" because the character is the AMAZING Spider-Man and Andrew was/is AMAZING even though he's not the Marvel cinematic darling Tom became. Andrew!Peter isn't lame because he didn't go to space or fight with the Avengers or Venom. He overcame challenges and grief like all other Spider-Men. It's Spider-Men supporting Spider-Men because it's not about one being better than the rest.

[harfanfare]

Snow White and Juliet

trigger warning: suicide and just whatever happened in Romeo and Juliet & Snow White but darker.

People tend to define different things with the same word.

According to some, the lack of life is simply death. Others include there people who do nothing but work. They have no love, no passion. Those who remain unmoved by the suffering of others. Heartless ones.

For one poison vendor, "lifeless" meant being unable to move, drink, eat, but think. Think for eternity about nothing, what is described harsher than real death.

◆◆◆

„Test 103 was accomplished with success.”

There is confusion in the experiment hall. Researchers run from monitor to monitor, all comparing unexpected, but desired results.

No errors in documentation. No lapses in research. No difference in subsequent attempts.

The team of researchers was cheering in awe: the antidote for one of the biggest poisons in Twisted Wonderland, the "Poisoned Apple", has been found.

It's time to wake Neige Leblanche up.

◆◆◆

The Leblanche Tragedy happened almost two years ago when many haters got to harras Neige and his fiancée, [Name], who just announced their relationship. You were meeting already for quite a time, and knowing each other even longer. It wasn't easy to break any of you by hate.

But it wasn't also easy to live with people, who despised you with all their heart.

"It's alright," Neige whispered, his fingers combing the hair of his beloved. His voice was tranquil and soothing as always, almost by itself vanishing every bad experience. "It will be alright. I will make sure it will be."

"I know. And I am always thankful for that," you replied, cuddling him even more. Neige scent was another thing that hadn't changed over years; it was still the same aroma of wild, but soft flowers and heartwarming sunrays. Another wonderful feature. "I love you, Neige."

"I love you too."

That was the last discussion you had before the disaster happened.

And it started from no one else than Vil Schoenheit, who wasn't even aware how his actions will take a completely another turn than everyone expected.

◆◆◆

"Will it solve it? The sleeping potion?" you asked, turning the vial in your hands. It was no bigger than your little finger, and the potion there was taking only half of the space.

Not so long ago, around an hour, you found yourself invited by Vil to a tea party. You couldn't figure if he had been struck by your "help me" aura or was searching for a company, but you ended up in gardens, staring at the porcelain pot in which the tea was brewing.

It favoured the first meeting you two had: the tableware with the same, old-fashioned flowery pattern and the rich aroma of tea leaves of Vil's choice. Only a plate with sweets and fruits was something new—it was hard to convince Vil to bring anything sugary and even harder to make him try it. He finally ate a small (microscopical, in your opinion) piece of hand-made shortcake, but that was all you could do to let him appreciate the sweet energy shot.

"I cannot guarantee anything," Vil replied, watching you examine the bottle's content. "But it may work. With an emphasis on 'may'," he added, tearing his gaze away. Vil was your dear friend, and even if he didn't approve of your taste in men, especially your pick for a future husband, you were close enough to have him help you come up with a solution. "Use it as a last resort. I... am sure you will be able to find a better, safer way. For example, dumping your fiancé."

You giggled, but both of you knew his proposition was impossible. You could never leave Neige.

"Thank you, no thank you," you answered with a smile. The only thing that didn't let it last longer, were your problems. "Again, I am indebted to you. Thank you for being the best and the best prettiest in my life."

Vil puts the tea away, its taste suddenly feeling bitter and hard to swallow.

"...Well then. [Name], don't be reckless."

"I will try my best not to. I promise."

◆◆◆

You found a solution.

If you were the reason which made people attack Neige on social media and not only, why wouldn't you just disappear?

Not for eternity. Only for a month, maybe a few weeks, until the turmoil would silence. You and Neige could get married this way, inviting no one else than the closest of the closest people for the ceremony. Announcing your marriage and fake death wouldn't be that much of a shock as many could assume. There is a field called effective business, and everything can happen under that name.

I know how reckless is that, you were writing your thoughts on a paper. Once the dwarfs you invited to yourself saw the letter, they would give it to Neige. And you two would no longer have anyone who could undo anything. But think about it, Neige! If we may finally be together, isn't it a great chance?

You reassured him in the letter that you would wake up after few days. You also highlighted that he doesn't have to use your plan and let you two fight against the darker side of Wonderland together. He could just let you have week-long beauty sleep and with a fresh mind, try to solve your problems by less drastic measures: the press or announcements.

Maybe you were only overthinking and complicating the situation too much.

Your most loving fan, [Name]

You signed yourself and closed the envelope.

Your gaze returned to the sleeping potion. I am exaggerating, you thought. Your plans could fit into a script of a good film but in real life? What you were about to do felt... irrational and foolish.

Maybe you would change your mind if not the rush.

Once you heard footsteps on the floor and your friends, dwarfs, calling your name, you knew it is time to make a decision.

You quickly unscrewed the bottle and put it in your mouth. The sweet, sleepy fragrance with a hint of rosemary sent you to a sleep that devotedly resembled a death. The crash and sound of breaking glass as you fell to the ground immediately alerted everyone in the mansion. You couldn't hear the accelerated footsteps, screams, cries and commotion that was going on over you.

Before anyone could think to do something other than trying to wake you up and calling the hospital, the letter with your plan flew outside the window.

That night you broke two things: the promise you made to Vil and a heart of Neige.

◆◆◆

The death of [Name], the fiancée of the most adored man in the world.

Marriage cancelled? The mystery behind the death of [Name] [Surname].

A Dead bride.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

Neige scrolled through the media, each article made his heart ache. He ignored a great count of calls and didn't manage to appear at your funeral in time.

He was a broken toy, who just lost its batteries. He was a wrack of what he was before. Beautiful on the outside, blank on the inside.

Wearing a dark, a bit too oversized suit, he laid against one of the roadside trees. He closed his eyes, trying not to focus on any people, buildings or sounds except his breath. It was slow and steady until he remembered why he tries to calm down; then he would choke on his breath, tears falling from his eyes and trying to not lose balance.

"Would you like an apple?"

Neige wiped his tears in a sleeve and slowly turned around to see an old lady behind a stall. It was ruined and seemed unattended for years. The counter was doty, wood softened and tore off in big pieces by the wind and rain. Between beautifully decorated shops and cafes, this stall seemed to be a remnant that no one ever wanted to touch.

"Thank you, but I am fine." Neige replied in his polite tone, but the smile he sent her looked like nothing near 'fine'. "I am not allowed to take anything from strangers, but that is really kind of you!"

"Not just a bite?" the lady continued, putting an apple on the counter. It was brown, slightly green, and Neige would never guess it was an apple. Maybe more like a rotten apple, but no one would say that this apple was unfresh. Adversely, it contained freshness, but not of the common kind. "Wouldn't you like to join your lover?"

Neige held his breath.

"You mean... to die?"

"What I mean has no value. You will understand it the other way, even if I tried to explain," she replied. Her voice was squeaky as she repeated the question the same enigmatic way she did the first time. "So, would you like an apple?"

"No, thank you..." Neige bowed slightly. He hesitated, before trying his best to speak up. "I- I think [Name] would hate me dying. Only if she could understand this too..."

"Maybe she did" the lady replied. There was conviction in her voice, and Neige couldn't help but take her words seriously. "Or maybe not."

Neige hoped you did. How he loved you and how your death changed him from the happiest man in the world, the saddest one. He didn't know why you took your life and why he didn't notice anything before. He regretted spending not as much time with you as he wanted to.

But nothing could be done to change the past.

"I will get going," Neige said. He glanced towards the old lady, who smiled at him and showed some of her lacking teeth. "And... could you fetch me this apple, please?"

◆◆◆

Once Neige's gaze settled on your figure, the world was immediately forgotten.

He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears much more than silence who was your only companion.

No flowers, candles and golden ornaments of the church could divide Neige's attention, as his pace fastened with every step he made towards you. He didn't hesitate to lock his fingers with yours. He squeezed them, wishing his warmth could reach you.

"[Name]..." he whispered, getting his face closer to your sleeping face. He gently removed the lost strands of hair from your face, not believing that you won't wake up anymore. As much as he wanted to, no mage in Twisted Wonderland could bring the dead back to life. At least not in human's form. "I love you so much. T-too much, I think. How can I live without... my life?"

He gave you one last 'farewell' kiss on the lips, his body next to yours. "See you soon, [Name]."

His expression is the softest one he ever wore, as he reaches for an apple.

He bit it.

And then 'died'.

No sooner than the poison completely took control of his body, you woke up.

"Neige...?" you murmured, bringing your hand to his cheek. The anxiety mingled with your thoughts once you look around yourself. "We are... in a coffin?" You sat. It required effort, after not using muscles for a whole week. By the time, you took a break, you conjectured what happened. You jerked your head around and let your hands cup your lover's face. "Ple-please, please, Neige, don't do this to me. Please."

He didn't respond and the bitterness you tasted when you kissed his still warm lips confirmed that he didn't use Vil's potion. He was poisoned, and the amount left on his lips wasn't enough to take you to the same place as him. "Why didn't left anything for me? Neige..."

Your eye caught the glimmer. You went closer to notice the dagger, resting on the floor. It wasn't that visible as the weapon would be, and until you were a step from it, you could see how thin the blade was. As edge as sturdy.

The fear paralyzed you, as you came back to the coffin. But the remorse and the sight of your lover's dead body were stronger. Your whole body was shivering, a tremor affecting you more than you could ever imagine, making you go mad. Insane.

With one sharp move, you dug the blade into your chest, scared and closing your eyes.

"I am a fool."

By the time anyone arrives, it is too late to rescue you or stop the poison coursing through Neige's veins.

◆◆◆

In the morning sun rises, and everyone in Wonderland wakes up.

It is also the first time in two years since Neige fell asleep.

He can't feel anything. He can't sense the flaxen shirt the doctors changed him in. He can't get his mind through the haze, that has been floating around his thoughts just after he drank the poison. He can't answer the calls of the doctors and his friends, dwarfs, who are gathering around his bed.

But he can open his eyes.

And once he does, the silence is overcoming. When the fact finally sinks in everyone's heart, a great cheer flies across the room. Some of the gathered give Neige comforting touch or reassuringly squeeze his hand.

It takes him some time to realize what is happening, why is he in the hospital room, why people are crying around him and why you aren't the first one he sees once he wakes up. His habit of kicking you while sleeping was something you complained and teased him about. Even if he didn't wake you in his sleep, when he was getting up, his knee would always hit your arm or stomach, waking you up and having you buck him off the bed as revenge.

What he also can do, except for trying to stay awake and catching things his visitors chatter around him, is to try to remember. He didn't lose his memories! It just needs some effort to get them back from the darkest recesses of his mind! And then to regret it.

A whole wave of memories hits him like a tsunami, not leaving him space to breathe and see anything else than chaos, now replaced by the memories of you two.

The kisses. The promises. The vowes. The proposal. The struggles. The tenacity to get over your problems. The plan. The dead body of yours.

He doesn't have to turn around to know that you aren't in a hospital bed beside him. He remembered some of the talks of his friends when he was sleeping. Now everyone is waiting for him to return.

"Neige! You've finally woke up, huh!" Che'nya chippers, his voice cracking at last words. He is relieved about the news and only bad Neige's condition stops him from throwing himself at his arms and spreading the revelation to everyone... No, not even Neige himself can stop him from the latter.

Neige wasn't going to stop him. His mind still replayed the "finally woke up" part, as if the film stopped at the most painful scene, then broke and started to replay the scene once again. And again.

He turned his head on the side, letting the tears run down his cheeks.

He really can't feel anything.

"That," Neige manages to whisper under his breath. It is the first time he tries to say anything, and grievously struggles to put his words together. "is- is... so cruel." Everyone stared at him in silence, the same way they did when Neige and his dead lover were found. His cry brings tears to everyone's eyes, having many people bow under the weight of sorrow and put a hand over their lips to not let themself break again. "I didn't want to wake up..!"

[catrasredemption-moved]

could you write some reassurance please? i feel so hurt about how now everyone is turning away from my comfort show and calling it "shit rep" all over twitter...

Twitter is a cesspool of humanity full of incredibly bad takes from a very loud minority. She-Ra is not bad rep. Is it perfect? No, but literally name one show that is (you can't, there isn't, your fave is not unproblematic).

Idk why the twitter haters got their undies in a twist all of a sudden, but block 'em. Curate your feed. There is still so much love for She-Ra all over Twitter. I can recommend a few good people if you don't mind some Arcane content mixed in. Unfollow people if you have to - and yes that includes me, I know I engage in this discourse and not everyone wants to see that, and that's okay. I like to be an asshole sometimes but I don't want to hurt other people.

Catradora is canon, their love saved the universe, they are soft lesbians with admittedly a lot to work through, but they've been together for most of their lives in one way or another and they're going to be okay <3

And we're all going to be okay because at the end of the day we're allowed to like what they want and bad faith takes on Twitter are just some bitter people whose opinions don't matter because at the end of the day, She-Ra still wins

[spaceorphan18]

99 Perspectives on a Single Love Story #37

A/N: The Story of Kurt and Blaine told through the eyes of everyone else but them. Each chapter is a different perspective in the ongoing tale of their love story.

I started something like this a while back - and now I’m taking the idea and really running with it. Each chapter is a ficlet of a different character at a different point in Kurt and Blaine’s life - documenting their love story. This starts in Audition, and each chapter will be paired with a different episode until reaching Dreams Come True.

[Ao3]

***

Cooper J. Anderson (Big Brother) 

“It’s a misnomer that only certain people can play the leading romantic roles. Of course, there are some people, such as myself, who embody both looks and smarts and therefore don’t have to put in as much effort. However, acting is about presentation. So, even if you are ugly, if you act hard enough, you, too, can still land the lead in the quirky rom-com of your choice. Believe me, I know. I have watched over two-hundred films, and most of those actors are just not as good looking as I am.”

Cooper J. Anderson takes a chair in his parents’ dining room and turns it around to sit on it backwards. His baby brother (Blaine) and his baby brother’s boyfriend (Kurt) had been doing their homework that afternoon when he had walked through to get a protein bar for his afternoon snack. He had been stopped but Kurt, who had asked if he had any more acting advice. Of course who is he to deny his own expertise in the field?

Kurt is looking up at him with wide eyes, frantically nodding as he speaks. Blaine could work on his enthusiasm, though. Frown lines are bad for the soul. How many times does he have to tell his baby brother that?

“What do you actually know about being a romantic lead?” Blaine asks. If there’s sarcasm in his voice, Cooper doesn’t catch it. Because it is a great question. And he always has more wisdom to impart.

“I have had to play the romantic lead in over four commercials,” Cooper says, a hand to his chest. “And I have found that there are three keys to making sure that you are leading man material. Would you like to hear them?”

Kurt’s hanging on to his every word. “Oh, yes, definitely!”

“What? Don’t indulge him,” Blaine says.

Cooper points a finger at Blaine though remains fixated on Kurt. “Not a rule, just a piece of general advice -- ignore him. He would rather be on stage instead of in front of a camera. And he has no idea what he’s talking about.”

“Thanks, Coop…”

“And how many commercials have you been in, Blainey? Oh that's what I thought. Zero. So, why don't you listen?"

Blaine rolls his eyes at him.

"Rule number one,” Cooper says, his voice loud and booming. Presence is, afterall, everything. He grabs a cantaloupe that happens to be sitting in a bowl in the middle of the dining room table. It will make for a great scene partner. “Good chemistry comes from them wanting you. So you have to make them want you. How? By giving them your best sexy stare that says -- I know I am good looking and you know you want this.” Cooper gives his best smouldering look to the cantaloupe.

“Oh, my god…” Blaine’s jaw drops open.

“Rule number two,” he holds up two fingers to illustrate, “is talking.”

Blaine tilts his head. “Really, talking? That’s it? So, if I just continue to talk right now I’ll get all the leads? Great advice, Cooper, I’m just going to keep talking until--”

Cooper, again, points his finger in Blaine’s face. “Hush. Hater. I’m trying to teach Kurt some real world advice.”

“Oh, that’s what this is? You’ve been in LA for six months because Denver, Colorado wasn’t working out for you. Though, really, you’ve spent most of your time in Columbus, Ohio - so I don’t know how much real world advice you really have...”

Kurt is gleefully watching between the two of them. Good to know he still has his real audience.

“Shut up, Blaine, rule number two is talking,” Cooper says quickly over Blaine’s continued babble. “You have to tell your scene partner that you are the one that they want.” He continues his sensual gaze at the cantaloupe. “Baby, I know you want a piece of this. Let’s make sweet, sweet love and if we’re lucky, we’ll make a bunch of melon balls.”

“And this has landed you four commercials?” Blaine asks. “I really have to say I’m impressed.”

“Thank you, Blaine. Finally some positivity out of your mouth,” Cooper says. “I did hit it out of the park with all four of the female casting agents I auditioned for. Maybe you’ll have better luck with the male casting agents. We’ll just have to see. They did not seem to appreciate my methodology much.”

“Shocking.” Blaine deadpans.

“Okay, okay,” Kurt says excitedly. “What’s rule number three?”

“Rule number three,” Cooper says, his voice demanding attention. “Is seduction. You have to show your partner just how much they should want you.”

Kurt tilts his head. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“Of course you don’t. He’s insane,” Blaine mutters under his breath.

Cooper holds up the fruit again. “Let me demonstrate on my scene partner who, I have to say Blaine, is much more giving than any actor that I’ve had to work with yet…”

“It’s a cantaloupe!”

“Blaine, I’m working, no distractions…” Cooper brings the cantaloupe to his lips and begins to kiss it. Not some lame peck. He is, after all, full method. He kisses the hell out of that fruit, open mouth, tongue gliding on the (god, ew, bitter bitter bitter) rind, some slobber but not too much. It’s important to be a good kisser after all. After another moment, he pulls off the fruit, trying to play down his grimace as he wipes his lips. “See - that is rule number three.”

“Yay!” Kurt lets out a little squeak.

Blaine is nearly doubling over in laughter. “My phone is charging. Do you mind if I grab it so you can demonstrate again? I think this is definitely something the internet needs to see.”

Cooper is about to make a retort and Kurt surprises him. “No, no, Blaine, I wanna try,” Kurt says, turning to face Blaine.

“Yes, okay, good, a scene to direct,” Cooper hands out the cantaloupe.

“Please don’t make out with a fruit,” Blaine says.

Kurt waves his hand at it. “No, I’m trying it out on you, silly.”

“Oh!” Blaine perks up.

“Oh?” Cooper tilts his head. This is not what he had been expecting, but he can work with it. “Okay, Kurt, remember the three rules. And…. action!”

Kurt schooches closer to Blaine. He bites his lip, pretending to be unsure while looking Blaine up and down. And then begins to give Blaine a deeply sensual look, glancing from his eyes to his lips to his eyes again. A smirk climbs on Kurt’s face as he hovers his lips above Blaine’s. Blaine is in unexpected shock

“Okay, good, good,” Cooper commentates. “You’re a little closer than I feel comfortable with, but I think it’s working. Rule number two -- talking.”

“Blaine…” Kurt’s voice is much lower than Cooper expects. It’s a little rumbly and raspy, and completely unnerving that someone would speak to his baby brother that way. “You make my heart undone. Your skin lights my soul on fire. I would make love to you until the sun rises, and even then it might not be enough to express how deeply I feel about you.”

“Okay, well, that’s a little more about him than you…” Cooper interjects. “Still, good effort.”

Kurt moves in for a kiss. It’s gentle, at first, but then he leans into it. Blaine opens his mouth, accepting the kiss, turning it much more heated than Cooper needs to see.

“Okay, and end scene,” Cooper says. They continue to kiss. He’s pretty sure he’s witnessing tongue. “What are you guys doing? You’re, like, twelve, and I called the scene....” Blaine lets out a little moan. Okay, this is becoming less and less about him… “Guys, it’s seriously time to end the scene.”

They break apart, both looking a little dizzy and giddy. “Thanks for the advice, Coop,” Blaine says, standing up, taking Kurt’s hand in the process.

“Well, I do have a few notes…”

“Nope, we’re good,” Blaine says, pulling Kurt up. Kurt’s grinning at him. “We’ll be back by tomorrow morning.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Cooper yells as they scurry out of the room. “I’m supposed to be babysitting you. Blaine, get back here! Blaine!”

Cooper lets out a huff as he stares at the cantaloupe resting on the table. Well… if they’re busy, maybe he can work on his next audition tape for Michael Bay. He picks up the cantaloupe and bounces it into the air. And he can’t go wrong with a good prop.

[kitkatopinions]

I love how people will defend crwby when they give jackshit about rep and their fans. Like with clover (i know they didnt make it official but just look at eddies stupid tweet). They fucked up, it was queerbaiting, so the best course of action is to imply that harriet had feelings for clover and bad mouth the dead man. They could have just say "everyone of us was acting stupid and he died" nooo clover wouldnt leave qrow alone and robyn says later that clover is the lesser huntsmen. They could just say "hey clover was like a brother to harriet, she was his second in command, this hurts her very much" nooo clover was important for harriet, you know important. How does that even fit? They didnt have the balls to stand to their mistake and write about it, so they just twisted and turned so they could ignore what they wrote the last volume. Brilliant (and yes i will forever be bitter that qrow doesnt take responsibility for causing clovers death and just whines about his semblance)

Honestly, the way that Qrow/Clover was handled is a big blight on the company in my opinion. There's a great blog called @fairgame-was-queerbait where you can see lots of information about why Clover and Qrow was one hundred percent queerbaiting, and people are right to be mad about it.

The way that the writers really spent their time pointing fingers instead of actually admitting that they messed up... And the way that members of the fandom have been refusing to recognize it as queerbaiting, BYG, or problematic has also been staggering. This was something that deeply hurt LGBTQ+ RWBY fans, especially mlm that weren't otherwise represented. Eddy Rivas has apologized for the hurt fans went through, but not in a way that recognized that the hurt had been a direct result of their actions. And whether that action was directly intentionally contributing as a writer or just not checking the animation and marketing or letting the show go as is despite seeing it and knowing how it'd be taken, or never telling people not to get their hopes up and that the ship was not intended despite knowing that it was quickly becoming one of the more popular RWBY ships is besides the point.

Fans have been quick to say that obviously FG was unintentional and that Clover couldn't have been meant to be read as gay because "the writers would never do that," while ignoring Miles Luna's discussions regarding Pilot Boi. He had been told about how Bury Your Gays was a very harmful trope and therefore decided not to include Pilot Boi being gay, but then 'was kicking himself' over not doing it anyway because Pilot Boi was popular. The fact that these fans are so delusional to believe that the writers would never do something, when they literally expressed that they wished they'd done it. Why is it so hard to believe that the writers would cross that line with Clover when one of them openly regretted not crossing that line earlier?

(Although as a side note, I wouldn't necessarily go so far as to say that Qrow 'caused' the death of Clover. Everybody lost braincells there in that fight and he definitely wasn't without sin and I for sure think he ought to have been guilty and taken responsibility for having broken Clover's aura, plus letting the blame fall to the guy who was literally fecking murdered was terrible. But Qrow didn't cause Tyrian to kill Clover, and he didn't cause Robyn to start up the fight in the first place when he and Clover were both being fairly peaceable at first.)

But! The way that RWBY said 'let's drag Clover after his death, imply things about his character that we never showed to be true, and have Robyn of all people say Qrow's just better than him.' Also, if Qrow really freaking cared about Clover in the show enough to keep that pin (that by all rights should've gone to the Ace Ops,) maybe he could tell Robyn to keep Clover's name out of her thin mouth, and be actually angry that she started the whole damn fight in the fricking first place. Honestly, I didn't like Clover at first and I don't ship Fair Game, but God almighty, the frustration I've felt watching the fandom start harassing people who liked him or the people that are mad about queerbaiting... Now I do like the idea of Clover and enjoy writing for him, and it's actually because of all the haters. So congrats to the RWBY simps, they've turned me into a Clover fan.

And if Qrow ends up with Robyn, I will... Post angrily about it. Using caps lock. After I finish vomiting over having to see it.

Here's the link to fairgame-was-queerbait again, I'd recommend anyone who wants to see the tweets and the screenshots check it out, I was so glad to find their blog and be able to see all this stuff for myself. It's honestly staggering that people are denying that there was queerbaiting, and saying that fans just 'invented this ship in their heads' or have no right to be upset. BTW, nobody better try that invalidating stuff in my comments. I'll block on sight.

[13tinysocks]

Mini Mart Massacre

Nine Jeff X Reader One shot (3206K words)

Content warning for graphic gore, murder, mentions of vomit.

You’re covering for your shitty coworker’s shift again. Late night, it’s slow. A mysterious man comes in and starts killing your friends left and right. Will you live to see the end of the night?

Nine Jeff belongs to @killersnarl / @carnalhaus

“God, I can’t believe him.” You grumbled to your co-worker, putting twenty-ounce cokes in their place. 

“I know right.” Ricky mindlessly agreed. Understandable after hearing this sort of frustrated dribble from you for the fifth time this week. But you just couldn’t let it go, Shaun was really starting to piss you off. Didn’t even have the courtesy to call out of work or even ask for you to cover his shift. He just didn’t show up. Hardly had been for the past two weeks but the past few days he’d nearly dropped off the face of the earth.

Gabe said he got a text from the deserter, with a smile he told you that Shaun was in love. Good for him but if he wanted to run off with some prince charming then he better quit first so your personal time wouldn’t continuously be uprooted. Money was cool and all, you needed it to live but having to constantly cover the guy’s ass was fucking awful. You’d always gotten a weird vibe from Shaun, quiet, reserved, always stared so creepily at other people. If you didn’t know any better then you’d think he knew something about you and everyone else. Something bad. 

“Dude,” Tara called from the aisle behind you, “He’s happy. Give it a rest.”

“Well, I’m not. It’s annoying. I was gonna watch trash TV tonight but no, I gotta close with y’all. No offense.” The shift really wasn’t as bad as you made it sound. All you had to do was stock up the frozen food section with Ricky, sweep, and go home in fifteen. Tara would take care of the shelving in the aisles as there were only three that were mostly full. The Mini Mart only got enough business to stay afloat after all. Out in front was Gabe, last you saw he was leaning on the register counter and smiling at his phone.

“Some taken.” She snickered, “Really though, can you just stop being such a player hater?” 

“Yea,” Gabe called from out front, “Makes you seem bitter.”

“I am not- Whatever.” You just wanted to get home already, didn’t wanna argue about stupid shit. You could foresee yourself being short with your friends for the next few days since they were so adamant about being on Shaun’s side.

Ding-dong!

The cheerful robotic bell alerted of an unwanted customer.  From your position in the back, you couldn’t see them. A hush fell over the store, the place was closed. Little red and white sign hanging from the front door's handle said so. Guess they didn’t read it.

You could have sworn the blue fluorescents overhead started to burn a little brighter, buzz a little louder. The familiar pale blue tint only grew more saturated, the air felt thick. Dust discordantly floating about in the blue otherworldly shine. Owners really had to buy themselves better lights because this shit happened like clockwork. Every hour on the hour for nine minutes. 

“Hey, sorry man,” Gabe started at the thing that cast a long shadow across the floor, “We’re closing up shop right now. You can come back tomorrow.” 

There was no booming footstep, no quiet approach. Just a normal everyday sound of someone walking. 

“Hey dude, seriously. We’re closed. Put that down.” Gabe’s voice started to waver, hints of apparent fear bleeding through his stern intonation. 

“Would you have if they could have pleaded?” Deep and raspy, there was something about the way that man spoke. Something that didn’t sound annoyed or defensive but paralyzing instead. You could feel it deep in your gut, on the hairs standing up the back of your neck, on the goosebumps that’d risen from your forearms; He meant harm. Bodily. Psychologically. 

“What?” Gabe scoffed, “Ya’know what? I don’t care. I’m calling the cops.”

“You like that they trusted you, that they never thought to fight back. You like to watch them die.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” Gabe bleated back. The footsteps didn’t stop. You and Ricky glanced confusedly worried at one another. 

He started to pull out his phone when the mystery intruder spoke once more, “Why are you backing away then? Is it because you don’t want to drink like a thirsty dog?” 

“I- WHAT!?” A screech ripped from the front of the store. Morbid curiosity pulled you to crawl toward the nearest aisle and peak around it. Tera was staring, frozen and shaking at the sight. 

“PUT THE ME THE FUCK DOWN! FUCKING SQUARE HEAD!”

That man, that thing, was huge. Tall, broad, imposing. Only his side profile was available for viewing. Mostly obscured by long black hair, most of which had been tied into a loose ponytail. Stern browed, nose downturned, teeth showing through a tight smile. One hand about Gabe’s neck was all it took to lift the fully grown man two feet off the floor. Thumb jammed in the soft flesh where his jaw and neck met, forcing his head back. Gabe wiggled about, holding onto the man’s thick forearm for some stability but he still looked like a fish on a hook.

“SOMEONE! HELP!” Bulging brown snapped to you and the woman. No way that you were going to play hero against that fucking behemoth. Still, there was a slew of emotions kicked up by seeing a friend in that position. 

The man held a fat bottle of Bleach. Mostly used to clean out the nasty bathroom, sometimes the floor. Uncapped, tilting toward Gabe’s face. Getting what was about to happen, he twisted his lips into his mouth.

“You don’t want it?” His attacker cooed, "Aren't you thirsty after a day of hard work?"

Gabe vigorously shook his head, whining and struggling. All the three of you could do was watch. Ricky was on the phone with an operator, hopefully, help would be arriving soon but none of you wanted to brave running out the front door he was only feet away from. 

A yellowish liquid dribbled over the bottle's opening, right onto Gabe’s wide open eyes. You don’t think you’d ever forget the shrill, animal-like way he screeched. Mouth open, the man took his opportunity to jam the opening between his teeth. Gabe’s body violently revolted against the product cleaning the mucus from his esophagus. Another fat hand slapped onto Gabe’s flesh, this one squeezing his lips around the neck of the bottle. Forcing him to keep in a reactionary stream of vomit. Not without thumb and pointer pinching his nostrils shut.

"Honestly," The man started evenly, "This is so much faster than diluting it with water." Gabe violently twitched, no longer holding onto his attacker's arm but instead trying to pry to bottle away from his mouth. Nothing he did had any effect. "Hurts worse too, huh?" 

You jolted, nearly letting out a shriek when someone tapped you on the shoulder. Ricky had crawled up behind you, phone pressed between his ear and shoulder. Head jerking in the direction of a gray door. Backroom, concrete floors, ceiling hight storage shelves, always smelled vaguely if cheese. 

You caught his drift easily enough but Tera wasn't looking at either of you. Completely entranced with the two in front. As much as you wanted to bolt, you had to get her attention and get her to leave. 

Calling her over would get unwanted attention. You held up a finger to Ricky, no minimum wage worker with no healthcare benefits left behind. 

Slow and steady you got yourself off the ground. Step by step, closer and closer. Hands raising to give her a little tap while your eyes didn't leave his face. With your approach, you only got to see more and more of his face. It was something of the likes you'd never seen. 

He looked like he didn't know what moisturizer was at first. Skin warped, texture looking uneven and off-color. But it wasn't a bad case of extreme and crust from not showering. His skin shone too little in the bright light. Flesh stretched and shifted when his lips curled back into a wider, toothy grin. With the movement the indent of irritated flesh running across either cheek shifted, top and bottom moving slightly different from the other as tectonic plates of scar tissue.

Beady eyes focused on Gabe, twinkling softly hateful. You couldn't tell if all he had was a pupil or if his irises were that pale.

Please, you internally begged, don't stop looking at that shuddering body.

One finger was all it took to place a gentle tap on Tera's shoulder. 

Gasp.

She jumped and turned, unfrozen and wide eyed. So did he.

The wicked wretch drawled, “Oh, hey you.” You didn’t think someone could smile that wide. “It’s nice to see you again.”

His dubiously friendly gaze locked Tera in place. You were pretty sure she was about to piss herself. All she had to say was, “Jeff.” Applying such a human title to that thing felt very, very wrong.

“I wanna say the one and only but ya’know, common name.” Jeff flatly joked.

“I- I- I haven’t done anything else. I swear. Please-”

Jeff wheezed, fully whipping around, Gabe’s body sickly swinging in his grip. “Come on now Tera. You don’t think I haven’t been checkin’ in you? You really do think you're clever.”

THUD.

Gabe’s body lay forgotten on the floor. Bottle finally rolling away from his open mouth but it was too late. Consciousness had already slipped and judging from how hollow the container sounded as it nonchalantly rolled away, he was gonna be dead soon.

“If it wasn’t for me he would have suffered for hours. Was it the guilt you felt with yourself? Was that why you didn’t kill that poor vagrant? Or are you that pathetic to the point where you try to kill an unmoving target and fail?”

You didn’t know what he was talking about. Either way, you wanted out of there. Since you didn’t want to be guilt ridden for the loss of another, you tightly gripped her and tugged. Her shoulder was like pulling on the start of a chainsaw, after you did so, things were set into violent motion. 

Jeff lurched forward, brandishing a hunting knife that'd been yanked from it's sheath. Survival instinct kicked in fully and you let go of Tera, bolting away from the ground-shaking behemoth. She just watched him come.

Nothing was like the sound she made when the knife buried itself in her soft belly. Her body crumpled in on itself. People compared a car crash to something they couldn't peel their eyes from but this was more like a burning, three lane pile up.

You’d completely forgotten about Ricky until he grabbed you by the forearm and screamed, “Come on!” 

Jeff’s head robotically snapped up to meet your eye as you were being dragged toward the storage room door. “Hey, wait up!”

“No!” You screeched, stumbling behind Rickey, “You sick fuck!”

He sighed, exasperated by your rejection, “Your friend and I are the same, you know. You'd be better off with me.” 

Romantic implications and the sound of someone groaning in agony were never the best combo. A taste sweet yet vile like milk a few days past it’s expiration settled over your tongue. You’d never felt so disgusted and you just wanted him to, “Go away!”

Whatever Jeff was doing to her sounded distinctly wet. Mac n’ cheese that squelched so loudly that it could be compared to good pussy. But when he came around the corner to give chase, you found that he’d rearranged her guts in the worst way possible.

Balled tight in his massive fists were slimy pink ribbons. Sticking out between his fingers, tightly pulled over his knuckles. All leading back to a fat slit in Tera’s belly. Screaming and sobbing, she clutched desperately onto her own small intestine to try to pull it back. Nothing worked and she continued to be dragged along the floor like a dog on a leash.

“No,” He wouldn’t stop smiling, “I don’t think I will.”

Ricky burst through the storage room door, you in tow. You’d been back here more than a few times but what you hadn’t done was load stock into the room. It wasn’t like you hadn’t seen the doors before you sort of forgot in your piss-pants state of mortal terror. 

The shelves towered far over your head, compensating for the tiny space area. No sign of the exit was in immediate view. Ricky better hurry up and pick one of three possible paths or you’re dead meat.

If this was a badly directed horror movie, Ricky wouldn’t have known where to go. He hurriedly dragged you down a narrow pathway lined with half unpacked boxes. 

Tera and the backroom door screeched with Jeff’s entrance. His footsteps heavy and floor shaking. “The door's not going to work.” 

Ricky went to shove the door open with his side, it opened only half an inch. Again he rammed his body into the thing only for it not to budge. “Oh, no, no, no, no.” He kept at it while you looked for an odd lock or something obvious jamming the door. 

Tera finally stopped screaming. Passed out from shock, poor thing.

 The giant of a man cast a long shadow over the thin passage, backlit by pale blue. Giant hand relaxing, letting Tera’s stretched guts wetly flop onto the floor.

“There’s a way out for you, butcher.” Jeff spat out the title between grinding teeth. He was smiling so tender but his eyes didn’t reflect the sentiment.

“There is?” 

Wider. More teeth. “Look at you, hopeful little thing. Of course there is.” One step, slow, barely closing the distance. “An easy, free way out for someone who takes, and takes, and takes.” Two, three, four, faster. Knife bloody but not satiated.

You knew Ricky to steal chips from time to time but that's really it. 

Ricky quaked against the door. “No I- I donate to charities,” His eyes landed on the rosary idly hanging out of the pocket of his pants. “To the church! Thou shalt forgive or something, right?”

“Thou shall not kill.” 

“Yeah, that-”

“You haven’t been a very good boy, Ricky. God wouldn’t be happy with the bodies buried underneath your basement.” Five, six, seven.

You desperately looked around for something to defend yourself with. A pack of pudding cups within your immediate reach was snatched and thrown at the beast. “Shut the fuck up!”

Caught. “Thank you.”

Eight. Closing in. You pressed yourself into a corner and looked for an escape. There was none. All you had to cut him with was fear filled shouts, “That was meant to hit you, fucking hypocrite!”

Hand over his heart he sincerely sneered, “I am a hypocrite and I deserve to rot in hell. What does that change (Y/n)?” Morals did nothing for corpses.

Dread. Stone cold and heavy in your stomach. “You know my name?”

Jeff smiled fakely docile, “I know that you steal candy from isle two. I know that you’ve been working more hours lately.” 

All things Shaun would’ve known. Wait a second. “Are you Shaun’s boyfriend!? Did he send you to fucking kill us? I didn’t think we sucked that much dick!" You sobbed.

Jeff scratched the back of his neck, “Boyfriend is a strong word.” Ouch, poor Shaun.

The giant snapped back into his imposing demeanor, “I came to cleanse.”

Ricky quaked, “Okay, uh, fine, I can do forty-five Hail Mary’s! I can atone!” 

You didn’t understand. 

Nine.

Hot, heavy, chest heaving breaths wracked Jeff’s giant body. Icily staring down his prey/ Body so wide you didn’t have a hope of slithering passed. 

You don’t know how long you all stood in that tense limbo of inaction. Eventually, Jeff moved, slow and steady he tucked away his knife. It’s over. 

Ricky was off the ground in the blink of an eye. One of Jeff’s hand’s on either side of his head, thumbs pressing into his open eyes. Ricky kicked, screamed, and begged for mercy but judgment had already been decided.

Crraaaaccck!

Ricky’s head molded into Jeff’s fingers like cracking clay.

Yank!

Hot blood splashed onto your face, your work uniform, everywhere. Ricky wasn’t begging anymore. His voice box was ripped messily in half along with his head and upper torso. Pink and red squishy bits of gore started to slide out of place. Jeff toothily smiled at you from between the two foot gap in Ricky’s front teeth. 

Yank!

Ricky’s body flopped apart. One side hogged all his vertebrae, while the other had most of the brains.

Pleased, Jeff ran his tongue over his reddened lips. Loudly slurping as he sucked in an unidentified piece of gore. 

You vomited in your mouth, pounded your fists fruitlessly against the back door and sobbed. 

The two halves of human dropped from his hands. Landing with a sound like an egg breaking on tile floor. 

Jeff stepped over the body. You pressed yourself harder into the wall, hysterically shaking your head. 

His body heat radiated powerfully from his chest, few inches away at most. “You.”

Instead of playing the useless sole survivor, you decided to attempt to go with a fight. “Fuck off!” 

Your totally kick ass, defiant attempt to punch him in the face actually worked. He just took it. Didn’t stagger back or even yelp. Stare unbreaking.

“Eat shit!” Another punch. “Die!” Another.

The beast jerked forward with a throat-tearing roar, bloody hands coming straight for your face. You screwed your eyes shut and waited for a horrible death.

It never came. 

You popped an eyelid open to find him still as a statue. Hunched over, face so close you could smell the blood on his breath. He pinched your chin between his pointer and his thumb, tilting your head back and luring your eyes to meet his. Baby blue, sparkling with mischievous delight. 

Vile. 

You gathered all the spit you could and pelted him in the cheek with a soft slap. Clear-ish ooze dribbled down his skin, picking up a red hue as it went. 

Sirens distantly wailed. 

Jeff beamed almost affectionately at you, patted the top of your head, then kissed your forehead as you uselessly gnashed your teeth at him. “Be good.” Hands dragged off of your stained body with a sense of lingering desire, almost as if he didn’t want to leave the poor, broken, thing behind. Alas, the police were closing in and he couldn’t have you screeching like a banshee as he tried to get away. 

Mercy.

The wannabe angel began to lumber away. You didn’t hold your breath, waiting for the fake-out to end. He stopped. Here it comes. 

“Oh and (Y/n)?” Tender and kind he sounded like an old friend.

You raised shaking fists, “What?”

With one last lovely look, Jeff sweetly told you to, “Have a good night.”

Mental auto-pilot had you reply with a, “Thanks, you too.”

Nine steps and he was out of view. Three more and he was out the backroom door.

Traumatized, confused, out of friends, and caked in their blood you made a promise to yourself. Next time your paths would cross you’d have a better weapon than pudding cups.

[kpop-zone]

Mamamoo reaction to meeting their ex at their debut

A/N: Hey guys!! This will probably be the last post for a week, because I’m going on vacation again. Sorry for the inconsistent uploading schedule lately. Soon my semester will start again though, so my life will hopefully be more consistent again :D

Solar

“Who are the flowers for?”

Moonbyul asked confused when she saw Yongsun getting out of the car, anxiously clutching some flowers.

“Um...Y/N’s group is debuting today. And you know...I thought, just in case we run into each other, I don’t want to be emptyhanded...”

Yongsun stuttered and her members looked at her skeptically. Which was understandable.

It had been two months now since Yongsun had broken up with you and it took no genius to see how much she regretted that decision. She had thought that your relationship was only a burden in your tight schedule, so she wanted to free you of it. But in hindsight, she realized how hard it was for not to be a part of your life anymore. Who was taking care of you now?

Therefore, she wanted to use this chance today to make sure that you were doing alright. It was totally, absolutely no way of trying to win you back. This was just a selfless and subtle gesture without any ulterior motives. At least that was what she told herself in order to appease her bad conscious.

As soon as Yongsun entered the venue, she started looking for you. Your group’s dressing room was just two doors down the hallway, and she contemplated whether she should “run into you” before or after your performance. Figuring that you needed to focus for now, she decided to try getting a hold of you after the show ended. Gladly, she was in the show business for long enough to not let her state of distraction show during her own performance, but as soon as she stepped off the stage her nervousness came rushing back.

With knees like jelly, she walked up and down the hallway till you finally stepped out of your dressing room and actually almost ran into her.

“Y/N! What a coincidence that we meet here.”

Yongsun chuckled nervously, but when your gaze landed on the flowers in her hand, she realized how stupid she must sound.

“Coincidence, huh?”

You raised your eyebrow skeptically and Yongsun could feel her cheeks starting to glow.

“Anyways...I wanted to give you these. I saw your performance and you were awesome. All of you were, of course, not only you.”

She tried to save herself, but with every word, she sounded more like a stuttering mess.

“Thanks.”

You answered shortly before immediately turning on your heel as soon as you took the flowers. Panic started to make Yongsun’s heart beat twice as fast and a surge of adrenaline clouded her better judgement as she saw you walking away.

“I regret leaving you!”

She suddenly blurted out, causing you to stop in your tracks.

So much for being subtle.

Moonbyul

“You know what, I’m just going to wish Y/N good luck. I mean we’re both adults, so we should behave maturely. There is nothing wrong with wishing someone good luck. Every decent human being would do that, right? You don’t think I am being clingy, right? Right, guys?”

The other members huffed annoyed after another one of Moonbyul’s ramblings.

For weeks now, Moonbyul went from being awfully confident in her plan to being completely anxious and none of the members knew how to help her at this point. And neither did Moonbyul herself. She had broken up with you over a year ago because neither of you had taken care of the relationship like you were supposed to, but till this day, she still didn’t know how to face you. Therefore, the wordcount between the two of you added up to zero ever since the breakup and now Moonbyul felt stupid for finding you on the day of your debut.

She would just let the universe decide.

If the two of you ran into each other, she would talk to you. But if not, she would accept that it wasn’t meant to be. Therefore, she didn’t stress herself out when she stepped into the venue. A variety of staff members and some occasional idols were running around in the backstage area and Moonbyul sighed. Why had she made such a fuss beforehand? The venue was big enough to avoid a person that you didn’t want to see.

That is if the universe didn’t have other plans.

“Moonbyul?”

Your voice made Moonbyul’s blood freeze and she stopped dead in her tracks. With wide eyes, she turned around to see you standing only a few steps in front of her with a big smile on your lips.

“I thought it was you! Hey! How are you?”

You hadn’t changed a bit. You were still the same loving and charismatic person that you had always been and Moonbyul instantly felt the last bit of anxiety leaving her body.

“Hey, Y/N! I’m doing good. How are you though on your big day?”

Moonbyul walked a few steps closer to you, happy to see that all of her concerns had been in vain. There was nothing awkward about this encounter and you didn’t seem to be bitter because of the breakup.

“Ugh...I’m nervous beyond belief.”

You whined and reflexively, Moonybul reached out to grab your hand. For a second, she froze, but when you didn’t pull away, she squeezed it encouragingly.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I know that you are a great performer. I’ve always seen it.”

Moonbyul smiled softly, causing you to blush.

“Thanks, Moonbyul. That means a lot to me.”

Right when you closed your mouth, your leader called you and you needed to rush off. All Moonbyul was able to say was ‘Good luck’ before you slipped out of sight. Deep in thought and a little shell-shocked by her own discovery, she made her way to her own dressing room to seek the help of her members who were already waiting for her expectantly.

“Guys, I think I want Y/N back.”

Wheein

“Are you nervous?”

Hyejin asked from beside her as the two of them were driving to the venue of the music show.

“I don’t know whether I would call it nervousness. I would call it...curiosity maybe. I’m curious to see how our encounter will be.”

Wheein answered thoughtfully and turned her head to look at her best friend who had a concerned expression on her face.

“Now that Y/N has debuted, I think we’re going to run into each other a lot from now on. So we should probably learn how to deal with it.”

Hyejin skeptically scanned her face but nodded in agreement once she realized that Wheein wasn’t showing any signs of nervousness.

And Wheein was being honest. There was a time a few weeks ago when she had learned that your groups would be on the same show together that she felt a little uneasy. You hadn’t parted on bad terms, but your breakup had still hurt. Both of you had lost yourselves in your hectic lives and your relationship hadn’t been where it was supposed to be, but that didn’t mean that losing you wasn’t hard. It had taken Wheein a few months to stop her heart from aching every time she saw something that reminded her of you. But by now, she was feeling fine; she was feeling prepared to see you again.

Nevertheless, she wasn’t so sure how you would react. Therefore, Wheein moved around very carefully in the venue in order to not accidentally run into you. If you were to meet today, it should be on her terms. And she decided that it would be best if she quickly stopped by your dressing room to wish you luck before your stage. That’s what every good friend would do, and she wanted to be one for you.

Half an hour before your performance, Wheein stood in front of your door, fixing her clothes one last time before knocking three times. It didn’t take long till a manager of yours swung open the door and instantly ushered her inside when he recognized her.

“Y/N?”

He called out your name, causing you to turn your head.

As soon as your gazes met, it seemed like the rest of the dressing room suddenly faded into the background. The loud babbling and tumultuous running of the others wasn’t bothersome at all as the two of you shyly walked towards each other.

“Hey.”

You said and Wheein waved awkwardly in response.

“I wanted to wish you all the best for your performance. I’m really looking forward to it and I know that all your fans are going to be really proud. Just like me.”

A wide smile spread on your face and you thanked her profusely before casually starting to chat with her about the past months.

That actually went smoother as expected.

But what was that warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of Wheein’s stomach?

Hwasa

Was Hyejin a smooth talker? No. Did she know how to defuse an awkward situation though? Also no.

Nothing made Hyejin more nervous than knowing that she could potentially run into you today; not even the thousands of haters that would wait for every single of her mistakes during Mamamoo’s performance. There was just so much uncertainty surrounding you. Would you be mad at her? Would she throw you for a loop and mess up your debut?

It would probably be for the better if she avoided you today. Therefore, Hyejin moved around the venue like a ninja. Her face was pretty much completely veiled even after she had stepped inside, and she hid herself behind her members until they entered their own dressing room. Everything was going according to plan until her members decided to throw unexpected hurdles into her way.

“Hyejin, could you get us some more water from the lounge down the hall?”

Yongsun asked while the makeup artist was working on her eyes.

“Me?”

Hyejin screeched panicked, attracting the attention of the others.

“Yes you... the managers are busy right now and we ran out of water.”

Her leader pointed at the mountain of empty water bottles, causing Hyejin to sigh dramatically. Everyone truly seemed to be busy and she was the only one sitting around.

Reluctantly, she got up from the couch and dragged her feet to the door. Very carefully, she opened it and peeked her head out to make sure that the coast was clear before slipping into the hallway. A number of other idols crossed her way and she greeted all of them politely, but Hyejin didn’t even stop once to chat, because her goal was to return to the dressing room as fast as possible. She was about to return when a familiar voice suddenly made her heart stop. It was coming closer and closer and in her state of panic, Hyejin quickly jumped behind the couch of the lounge room. Her breathing had become erratic by now, but she tried to be as silent as possible.

“Um...Hyejin, what are you doing?”

You suddenly asked confused and Hyejin closed her eyes in shame. Busted. Slowly, she crawled out of her hiding spot, smiling to distract from her cheeks that were glowing bright red.

“Oh hey, Y/N. I haven’t even seen you there.”

She stated sheepishly while scratching her neck.

“So you always chill behind couches?”

You tilted your head questioningly, causing Hyejin to giggle nervously.

“Your debut! It’s today!”

Nice catch, Hyejin thought to herself. You immediately started beaming and seemed to have forgotten about her awkward behavior from before.

“Yes, it is! I’m super excited.”

Your wide smile was contagious and Hyejin proudly looked at you.

“You really deserve it, Y/N.”

She stated and you shyly bowed your head.

“Thank you. That means a lot.”

You mumbled and suddenly Hyejin was glad that she had run into you. You should know that she was still on your side.

“Well I should get going. Good luck!”

With a last wave, Hyejin made her way back.

“Oh hey, Hyejin!”

Your loud voice made her stop and she turned around in confusion.

“Don’t hide from me the next time. It was nice meeting you.”

You winked cheekily while pointing at the couch, causing Hyejin to blush. Nevertheless, she nodded in agreement before rushing off.

It was nice.

[capri-ramblings]

Yandere Azul,Malleus and Vil and Crewel with a Darling that has a pet adult Tiger that's overly protective and wants to keep her from them

Oh wow,I actually got to finish another ask, bless ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

Warning; Slight toxic relationship and mentions of animal harming

Divus Crewel

-Honestly, if you didn't seem to love that Tiger of yours so much and the sight of your smiling face beaming with joy with its company didn't affected him, Divus would've simply made plans for it to suddenly disappear

- But you did love your full grown tiger, and he did love seeing that blissfully pleased expression of yours

- So, rather gingerly, He would have to suck in his irritation and act as if he didn't want to skin the damn beast alive.

- Though,it doesn't mean he'll be nice about it.

- "Pup,that fierce tiger of yours would make a fine fur coat,don't you think?"

- Turning to face him with your lips pursed, you pulled a face, one that unknowingly to you,made him want to take you then and there.

- "Stop it Divus, you know Moses hates it when you joke like that"

- He laughed, rich and silvery it had you blushing for no apparent reason. But Moses lets out a deep growl seething with every ounce of aggression his body could hold. The way his gaze sharpened the same time it locked with Divus made the older male grin.

- All the beast ever did was growl and kept him at a distance, because like Divus himself, it didn't dare to do anything to upset you.

- It's a mutual hate between the two. Both knowing very well you placed them both as your prize possession.

- Divus would put in small bitter remarks about him and in return,Moses would bare his fangs and keep you as close to him as possible.

- "As sadistic and cruel as I am, I would hate to see you lose that impeccable purity in your eyes. Consider yourself lucky that that beast of yours won't be part of any of my collection anytime soon,pup."

Malleus Draconia

- "Your creature seems to hate me" Malleus says this while wrapping his arms around your waist from behind,his voice a dark gentle coo against your skin.

- "She's like that with everyone" You reply with a small smile before your expression shifts and you feel the cool touch of Malleus's lips grazing your neck.

- "Hm,she seems to hold an ardent distaste for me however"

- He trails his lips down to your shoulder and you lean into him,eyes closing from the intimate sensation.

- A reverberating growl broke it in seconds and before you could open your eyes,Malleus had already lifted you off the ground in his arms,mere inches away from your fiery tigress,her toned muscles visible as she lowered her body into a predatory stance.

- "Hessiah!" You called, and as if a spell had been casted over her, the tigress let her body fall to the ground on her side,her eyes round and bright when it locked with yours.

- "See?" Malleus had his dark brows arched but you only shook your head smiling.

- With all his ancient and graceful being, Malleus may seem indifferent to the hostile treatment your tigress gives him, but silence only lasts for so long.

- He starts off feeling irritated at the constant interruption from the vigorous beast but as time passes on, that small bit of irritation shifts into great distaste and soon Malleus opts to just take you away before the creature finds out his presence.

- He knows you value it greatly, so he doesn't let his annoyance show, instead making light remarks about it.

- "She looks like she'd eat me in my sleep"

- "Hessiah doesn't eat people, Malleus!"

- "No? Then maybe she'll take an arm for a snack"

- "Malleus!"

- He'll let out a laugh and you'll laugh along, clearly unaware of the dark glare he fixes onto your sleeping tigress.

- "One day,my raven, I'll dispose of everything that might disturb the eternity we'll spend together. Enjoy your beast until then."

Azul Ashengrotto

- He hates the beast as much as it hates him, and it shows in the way he doesn't even uses its name when referring to it.

- If the beast wants to keep you away from him then he'll do the exact same thing, and it'll end up being like a game of tug of war.

- Funnily enough,threatens to skin it alive which earns a disapproving frown from you but you never really take him seriously. Though,maybe you should

- Yandere Azul like his counterpart tends to do things out of pure impulse but unlike his softer version, Yandere Azul takes it to the extreme

- Which basically means, he doesn't mind if you cry when your beasts suddenly stops moving the next day due to bad indigestion.

- He'll be there if you need a shoulder to cry on though,acting along as he pretends to not know how such a thing could even happen

- He keeps you at Mostro Lounge a lot so he doesn't have to see his number one hater and where he can just be clingy and touchy with you without anyone baring their fangs at him

- Azul would definitely be one of the yanderes who wouldn't like his s/o to have a pet since he feels like he's sharing them with a creature he could practically swallow whole if needed

- Tiger or not, if they threaten his position as your number one companion, its bound to get messy.

- "What a nuisance. Stop your growling before I drown you in the sea."

Vil Schoenheit

- A mangy beast growling at him every single time he even glances at his s/o turns Vil into a raging storm.

- How could a creature dare put a claim on his partner?

- No, Vil wouldn't let this happen but he wouldn't make such a brash decision that might upset his darling as well. So he goes about it a rather different way.

- He attempts to win the beast over.

- Easier said than done, but still, if there's a slight chance that his charms could work on the animal then Vil will give a chance. Anything to have his darling happy by his side.

- He'll come over with the highest grade of meat for your pet and even goes as far as complimenting it's fur

- Vil will go into deep research about it's species and note down the important ones that would help him in his endeavour

- He comes prepared with every little thing until one day, he's able to embrace you in front of your tiger and no aggression is given.

- You're impressed yourself and Vil simply acts as regal as he always was

- "You actually got him to like you!"

- "My sweet, if it concerns you, nothing will falter me." He says this with a soft chuckle, malice gilded behind a perfectly charming smile.

- "Not even a beast as vile as yours."

[anemonenemerosa]

The Spare - Chapter 12

Here we go! Thank you, @lumosinlove for the SW-verse!

Chapter 12

Out of precaution, Regulus decided to sneak into Malfoy Manor through the kitchen window. He scoffed at the thought that everyone always assumed he was a model son. Sure, he kept his head down, all appearances and he was once very eager to please his parents but that didn't mean he hadn't a rebellious streak.

Sirius often got caught trying to sneak out the house... through the back door... too obvious. Idiot. But he learned over time. Regulus, on the other hand, learned to pick locks and sneak out of windows quiet early on. It was much stealthier and more unsuspected from the obedient, quiet kid.

Around 16, Regulus did this very often, trying to live a little under the thumb of his parents and while pretending not to. Sirius was bold, brave and often getting shit for it. Regulus was collected and sneaky. His escapades went unnoticed. It was all about the right balance. He asked to go out often enough to be considered normal. His parents said no more often than not and Regulus just had to ask for events he was not really interested in. When they said no, he would obediently stay at home and just sneak out to the stuff he actually wanted to go to. Unsuspecting.

He went to several high school parties and concerts, albeit hating crowds, because that was what teenagers did right? What they enjoyed. Regulus did not enjoy the drinking, the stuffed rooms and the gross drunk make-out sessions. Maybe he was born as snarky old man, always been more of a Waldorf, in need for his Statler.

Once in his room, Regulus showered, changed and was just in time for Lucius to take him to practice.

The mood in locker the locker room was disgustingly cheerful. Several Death eaters were reciting their favourite slurs against Sirius and all the “faggots”, how they called queers, in general, accompanied by hollering, whistling and applause.

Regulus thought of Sirius, of Ben and Mateo, how kind and loving they treated him, and it took all his badly patched up self-control to keep his expression blank and polite. This is not right.

He did not return to the shire this evening. Instead, he spent a long time running in the neighbourhood of the Malfoys, trying to sort through the last days.

When he collapsed exhausted into bed this evening, he came to the conclusion that there was actually no way he could get through the mess in his very own… The psychologist-thing was meant as a joke at Thanksgiving, Black…

                                                    oOo

The next evening, he nervously rang the bell besides the name tag Hayes/Alves, not knowing whether someone is even at home but he was let into the building and a moment later he found himself unable to knock on the door to their flat. These people owed him noting, why would they even let him in again after he practically stormed out yesterday?

The door was yanked open anyway and a relieved looking Mateo pulled him inside. “There you are, we were worried!”

“What? Why?”

“You were rather upset when you bolted yesterday” Jo provided from the kitchen, a spoon in her mouth and an almost empty can of ice cream in her hands.

“Hey, there you are!” Ben chimed happily, stepping out of the bathroom in his pyjamas and towelling his hair.

“Are you guys mad?” Regulus blurted suddenly, “You don’t know me, I stormed out yesterday after all you have done like an ungrateful asshole and you are actually happy that I'm back?”

“Sure.” All three answered as one, baffling him completely.

“Why?” He was almost desperate, “You have absolutely no gain from me being here... I am just a rookie so no one will buy my secrets from you, I am rather rich but you have nothing to properly blackmail me so what do you want?!”

“Are you serious?” Jo asked after a short silence.

“No, that’s my Brother, I am Regulus.” he answered absentmindedly. Ben and Mateo snorted but Jo just looked puzzled.

Regulus looked back, similarly puzzled. “Sirius Black, the famous, freshly outed, Captain of the Gryffindor Lions?”

Still nothing but a furrowed brow... “NHL?”

'Yeah, yeah, heard of it but hold on, your full name is Regulus, like your real name? And your brother is, in fact, named Sirius, that’s not a fake, too?”

“That is your Question? And no, its Sirius Orion and Regulus Arcturus Black, actually.” Jo anything but shrieked, joining the other two hobbits already shaking with mirth by now.  

“Ok, that’s - that’s just bad, I'm sorry” she wheezed after a few minutes.

“I always thought these were aliases… I see that I need to revaluate my bad-name categories.”

“Alors, I call you Josephine from now on?” Regulus was met with a surprisingly deathly glare that sent Ben and Mateo straight into another fit.

A grin started to tuck at the corner of Regulus’ lips but there were still pressing questions.

“Jo, you have no idea of the disaster that went on? You didn’t even check Twitter?”

“Nah, I don’t frequent social media. While I prefer to limit my direct interaction with other people, assholes accumulate there and throw all their bullshit around, guarded by the anonymity of the internet. I think a dentist appointment is less annoying.” The grin tucked again. This weird mixture of slang and hoity-toity wording was just gold.

“But you do watch ice hockey?” He was not sure why that was important for him. Maybe to find out, what she knew about him, maybe because to find out more about her.

“Sometimes yeah. For me you are Reg, the rather giant dude that slept on our couch, that prefers his tea bitter and gross and does not say thank you. The guy with the enjoyable dry humour and good taste in literature that luckily balances his abysmal taste in movies.”

At that Regulus laughed, too. He didn’t know, why exactly but he felt giddy with the idea that these were the first people who wouldn’t define him through hockey and his family.  That although they knew of his profession, here was just Reg, not Regulus Arcturus Black, Son of Orion Black, number 72 of the Snakes. Maybe I can have this, after all.

Is this, what Sirius had with his team, with Remus? Another pang of guilt let the laughter die in his throat, his eyes welled up. Not again…please.

But there was no time to recompose himself. Quickly, he was shoved onto the couch, wrapped in the chicken-blanket and surrounded by these idiots caring for him for some reason he still did not understand.

For the third time, his walls broke. Where there even walls by now? Regulus felt rather leaking with emotions.

But of course, he could not keep it in around them and spilled all his life to the three of them, not in as much detail he told Mateo in the hospital but also not keeping his role of Sirius’ outing to himself. Once all was out, there was a tense silence... of course there was, he just told the gay couple in front of him that he forced his brother out to be tormented by a crowd of imbecile haters on the internet.

Regulus was sure, his little excursion into a happy family ended now. Just as he guessed on the first evening here but instead of scolding and disapproving, cold glares he found himself hugged by Ben, again. He gives good hugs; his brain supplied uselessly.

“It’s a shitty move to out someone Reg, there is nothing to sugar coat.” Ben sighed.

“But what they did with that information and how the people online reacted is not your fault.”

Regulus said nothing, just closed his eyes and buried deeper in the shoulder of Ben, who practically sat on his lap to reach the height for such an embrace.

“But your feelings were hurt, too at that time and a lot of people used you. Fuck your family. You know what, I’m your mom now!”

Regulus just continued crying silently into Ben’s Shoulder, Mateo’s hand rubbing slowly over his back, chuckling at Ben’s statement.

“Mother hen.”

This showed what he had suspected for a while now, proof that his parents were not just a little strict. That something in his childhood went horribly wrong and he has no idea what to do with that information except crying it out.

When he calmed down a bit, Ben and Mateo got up to make some tea and finish dinner while quietly talking in Portuguese. So, it was something he was not meant to understand. His stomach knotted uncomfortably.

“Reg?” Jo tried quietly, she had not reacted in any way so far. He had even forgotten that she was still perched on the carpet beside him and somehow, he dreaded what was to come next.

“Hm?”

“Earlier, at the door, as you said that you do not know of what use you are for us as we cannot even blackmail you... you were not joking?” He shook his head, new tears threating to well up. How were there still tears left and what happened to his composure again?

“You really expected us to just care for you as long as we could gain profit?” There was no accusation in her voice just sadness and concern. He shrugged his shoulders; did he think that? No, but this was the only form of interaction he knew, everything always came with a price, an expectation.

The next thing he felt was Jo not practically but literally perched on his lap, straddling his hips, wrapping her arms around him and leaning her cheek against his temple. He knew already that, opposite to her brother, Jo was not the touchy feely type with strangers.

He was not considered a stranger anymore, after a day?

“I don’t know if there is anything one could say to make it better, so I will just keep my mouth shut and hug you until you believe that we like you and care for you. Just like that. As long as it will take.” She wiggled a bit to demonstrate getting comfortable.

There was nothing sexual about the embrace although they were pressed together from shoulders to hips und she just wiggled in his lap. It was completely opposite to the girls that approached him at the parties he sneaked out to. These were eyeing him hungrily, like a trophy. Some of them (very drunk, to their defence) even told him how similar he looked to Sirius… and how sexy they found his brother. He shivered a bit at the memory and gladly went back to reality.

“You might die of old age while waiting.” Regulus lifted his head to check the effect of his attempt in humour on her face but she just tucked his head back, giving a soft huff.

“Nah. 'M convincing but probably need to excuse myself to the bathroom or the fridge in between”

He closed his eyes again, wrapped his arms around her waist and relished in the hug without questioning why this hug felt different, more intimate than Ben’s or Mateo’s.

After an undefinable amount of time, the men came back with plates of Vegetable Quesadillas and Guacamole.

“Comfort Food, my avozinha’s recipe.”, Mateo commented

Instead of answering his question for cutlery, Ben met his eyes, pointedly grabbed a Quesadilla, dipped it in the guacamole and shoved the whole thing in his mouth without breaking eye contact.

Reg snorted with laughter.

                                                oOo

Of course, Ben spilled more than just a little on his shirt.

While Ben and Jo were cleaning the dishes and Ben, Mateo came over with a fresh cup of tea.

“Hey” Reg lifted his head. “I’m talking now as your fried -or co-mom, apparently- that just happens to also have studied medicine” he nodded for Mateo to continue.

“You went through a lot. Not just lately. And you struggle to cope.” Alors, the poker face seems to be gone…

“I do not say that you are weak, you are not! But you might want to consider the help of a therapist to sort through your feelings and your past. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of knowing your boundaries and taking care of yourself. I do not want to talk you into this, you need to want that for therapy to help. So, take you time to think about that, if you need. You can always come to us to talk but no one here is a therapist so we can only help you so far. OK? We are not disposing you to a shrink. Our door is open for you but you might want to have different type of help.”

Reg sat the in silence after this speech, hand running through his hair and rubbing his neck.

He had thought about that, more and more serious since Thanksgiving but hearing it and having the confirmation that he was welcome here …a thought formed in his brain, shortly followed by his usual determination.

"I want this to stop. I want to get better." He looked at Mateo and was met with his signature genuine, warm smile.

"You have a team therapist, don't you? It might be the fastest way to an appointment."

Reg grimaced at the thought of Dr. Slughorn. Generally well-meaning but when in doubt always humouring Riddle.

"I wouldn't trust him with taking the trash out." Regs grimace it met with a raised eyebrow.

"Do you want me to help you find someone else?" Mateo asked carefully and after a relieved nod from Reg, continued. "OK. Good, this is really good. Now for the next part."

Reg furrowed his brows

"Ben and I talked, and we want to offer you to stay here for a while after All Star, out of the clutches of your family. Of course, you have to go to practice and stuff but maybe it would be healthier for you to feel less controlled, less suffocated by them. We would find something else for you to sleep on than the couch, of course." Mateo joked.

Reg blinked at the guy in front of him in disbelieve.  Encore: What the hell? "You would do that? Let me stay?"

"Yep. We are your moms now, after all." Ben all but yelled over from the kitchen.

 This isn't a fever-trip. This is a dream, and I hope that I will not wake up too soon.

This night, he spent in Jos bed.  

"The couch is lumpy so we will share that bed. I'm not ruining my neck for you." Was her announcement before she marched off, Reg in tow.

He was led into the room, expecting a bedroom and was greeted with a little bureau.

"Erm..." Was all Reg could say.

"Well I only stay here during semester breaks so it's mor like a multi-purpose room." Jo seemed to miss the point entirely.

"But there is no bed?!"

She gave him an odd look and... folded a mattress out of the closet? "You've never seen a Murphy bed?"

"Obviously."

A little while later Reg squeezed himself beside Jo in the double bed. How does such a small person take up so much space?

“Won't it fold up in the night and swallow us whole?" The thought made him nervous, but he was greeted with the Hayes™ way of soothing. Bullying into feeling better.

“Not with your fat ass in here. Sleep or I send you back to the couch.”

They did not sleep for a long while.

Instead the talked a lot like on the first morning that felt like years ago although it has been just two days. In these days, his life was turned inside out, fortunately. He liked this version better.

The more they talked and bantered, the more Reg understood, that she really did not calculate her moves but just did what seemed the honest, right and fair choice… which is why she was horrible at the midnight chess match: Not thinking a few steps ahead and no intention of sacrificing figures or threatening enemy figures… irritating and endearing.

Also, she had quite a lot of very good burns but apologised every time afterwards. Hilarious... too nice for her devilish mind.

The next morning, he woke up around four, with Jo's back tucked against his side. He had slept about two hours, not able to sleep any longer anyway but he stayed in bed, secretly enjoying the feeling of a warm weight beside him.

Thoughts about his brother were still omnipresent in his mind but right now, other thinks demand his attention. Reg was pretty sure that he was falling for Jo.

He had had one or another crush in school but what he felt now was magnitudes stronger. Coming to think of it, his feelings about Ben and Mateo were also magnitudes stronger but... different. The idea of the girl he just met not being within an hour driving distance, once she returned to Boston, left a weight on his chest, accompanied by an unfamiliar longing.

But that was not the point... everything would be OK with that point. The point was, it's not the same as he heard all the other guys in school, in the locker room talk about girls… he didn't get off imagining her naked, or both of them having sex, he never thought that about anyone, actually, and was convinced the boys boasting about how they want to hit all these girls and how they got horny every time some girl with a too-short-to-be-comfortable skirt walk by, were just exaggerating… or were they not? Was there something he just didn't understand, hadn't experienced yet? It's not that he hadn't had sex before and it was nice enough, but he never quite understood why people would go absolutely nuts about this past-time exercise. It was basically wanking with extra steps.

Hell, Reg felt not even aroused by Jo's ass pressed to his thigh in her sleep but he was very sure that he wanted to hold her close, feel her skin under his hands, her body pressed to his, to kiss her and be definitely more than friends with her; And he had absolutely no idea how to explain this to her and still hope for a chance of dating her eventually... This was not what people were looking for in a partner, was it?

He groaned... was there nothing simple on this world for him?

But then again, Jo was different, that's why he liked her, she had this no-bullshit attitude that let her stomp on several feet regularly. She was the only person he knew that would most likely appreciate if he just spoke his mind about the situation and have a balanced, rational and decidedly calm discussion about their feelings. He silently laughed. The thought about such a conversation was ridiculous but fairly simple. Maybe this would be easier than he first thought. He was not sure on what terms they would end but the situation would be evaluated and free of misunderstandings at the end.

He would talk to her after All Star, after facing his brother and trying to... what?

                                                     oOo

Telling Lucius and Narcissa that he wanted to stay elsewhere for a few nights went smoother than expected. After a short call with his mother she agreed to give him a bit of freedom. After the outing, his parents seemed to be eager to keep Reg as the good son. So, Walburga was in kind of open for some little claims. Of course, she wanted to know where he was staying so he pretended to need alone-time after the shock of his brother's outing and booked a hotel room until All Star as cover. He was definitely not risking his Mother taking this very fragile attempt of escape away from him.

Reg quietly packed a bag with clothes to take with him directly from the airport after All Star and spent his waiting time at the airport on the phone with Mateo, looking for a therapist. He would meet Dr. Bones close to the Hospital, Mateo worked at, next Thursday.

The flight with Snape was horrible. Reg tried to keep his thought about Sirius at bay, not checking social media at all but Severus kept sneering about Queers in general and Sirius. He laid open all the information he could dig up out about Remus and even announced proudly, that he forwarded it all to the commentators of the red carpet

Oh… merde. C’est pourri! They are in for a shit-show.

But Reg would not have to opportunity to contact Sirius before that.

[holly-mckenzie]

Heey!! I would love to hear your thoughts on Bolum 20 of Menajerimi Ara if you do watch it!

Take care xo

just watched the new MA episode and i honestly think this show has taken a VERY good turn for the better after the whole downhill slope after episode 9. this episode was so so so good i highly recommend watching🥺

Okay, so I watched it... here are my thoughts in no particular order. 

Me when Mayda got angry at both Kıraç and Beren + her leaving Kıraç:

But honestly, I understand that they depicted Mayda as almost an antagonist this entire season... 

But I loved how she was allowed to feel rage and anger that both her husband and her daughter were hiding things from her. Especially when you take into consideration that she has asked Kıraç over and over again what his connection to Dicle is and he lied and lied and lied. 

I will say, her reaction to him being: Why are you trying to destroy my family is so weird to me because... like? I don’t know, I feel like the more pressing issue is that he has lied to her for their entire relationship rather than him trying to ruin their family. But maybe that’s the messy subtitles. 

 Next to the Dicle and Kıraç situation:

I have mixed feels and this largely due to the fact that I am not Dicle (or Camille)... but I don’t think I would have been able to forgive my father if he abandoned me and kept on trying to hide his relationship with me. 

No offence to Dicle and Camille, but I am different.

That being said, I really did think the father/daughter bonding moments were really sweet and I loved them... BUt... Them watching TV. Her making him food. Her tucking her in. All of it was really cute.

However, I hate it for two reasons. One it kinda puts Dicle into this position of caretaker, which was her character arc her entire relationship with Barış at the start. And I kinda hate that. I also don’t understand why Kıraç didn’t like help Dicle with her work so she wasn’t doing stuff for the agency + trying to find Beren.

Also, I had absolutely no sympathy for Kıraç. Like he made the decision to lie to his wife. That was a choice that he made, so him mopping around like “Oh my gosh, I lied to everyone I knew and now my life is over nonsense” just made me laugh... But what was funnier was the look of sadness and shock on his face when he read that Mayda was divorcing him. Like, dude, I know you work in the dizi sector, but you have been watching WAY too many dizis if you really think your wife isn’t going to leave you after all of that nonsense.

In the words of a Tumblr icon:

Beren:

I absolutely hate the way that Beren is written. I understand that at the beginning they wanted her to be the antagonist to Dicle, but I really wish they would give her some character growth. Or, I really wish they would have her be friends and on somewhat of good terms with Dicle or someone else at the agency.

Having her constantly blaming her problems on Dicle and not growing up is ridiculous. Having her be upset when her mother called her out for lying to her was ridiculous. I don’t know how or why, but I really need her to have a better story arc beside constantly being bitter about Dicle... because that’s just not it chief.

I’m going to repeat myself... But in the words of a Tumblr icon:

Feris (+ The New Agent Dude Whose Name I Don’t Know)

Okay, I totally understand why Feris got upset... and I am cool with it. As for the scenes where she forgives Dicle, that was cute... I will admit. I will say one of the things that I really love about MA in comparison to Dix Pour Cent, is the way that they developed the relationship between Feris and Dicle. So that’s fun.

As for Serkan... I don’t have many thoughts on him. He and Feris are cute, I will admit. I will also say that they have great chemistry and that is that. However, that being said they are totally hinting that Feris is [redacted] seeing that’s what happens to Andrea in Dix Pour Cent... my question is if [redacted] will come back like in Dix Pour Cent.

Jülide + Çınar + Emir

head empty no thoughts. 

Emrah:

I loved watching Emrah and Güilin teaming up and having a mess around.

*insert a classic Cece and Winston mess around gif*

I also love how we are seeing *less* female characters being pit against each other. However, I am not excited to see Dicle being “attacked” by yet another character. It’s tiring.

Barış Havas, the love of my life.

Me whenever Barış does literally anything:

Okay, though I am a self-proclaimed hater of MA. I still think that Ahsen and Deniz Can have INCREDIBLE chemistry. All of their scenes are so cute... I love how he is constantly trying to be around her and finds it so difficult to say goodbye to her and is constantly playing with her hair, and holding her hands, and touching his face.

Also, Dicle is so cute and giggly around him. It’s adorable! I cannot!

Like we get it, you’re in love with her, Barış... But also you aren’t special... Literally, everyone is in love with her, get in line.

But additionally... my only complaint about Barış Havas is this... WHO IS DRESSING HIM?

A green turtle neck? Really? A green one? 

Give me slutty Barış Havas or give me death!

And as always... the best characters this episode are:

Bro and Meral! 

I will never forgive whoever wrote the stupid, the only person who I can be honest with is Emir line that Dicle tells Barış about Emir... because Meral has always been supportive and is always trying to help Dicle... It’s incredibly stupid and I hate it.

I love how Bro is currently the Havas brother with the brain cells...

Proud of him for taking care of those because Barış is certainly not using them!

Now when will these two bad bitches be in a scene again? Because I need them to stare into each other's eyes like love.