#everyday sexism project

[kindledspiritsbooks]

My Month in Books: March and April 2023

Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo When a novel ends with a character proposing quite literally going to hell and back again to rescue a friend, it’s more than a little cruel to keep your readers waiting nearly four years for a follow-up. However, I am willing to forgive Leigh Bardugo because Hell Bent is worth the wait. Building on the delightfully creepy world-building from the first book in this…

[separatist-apologist]

Calling the IC nepo-babies is the most hilarious thing I've ever heard because what do you have?

The High Lord, who is the product of a lesser fae woman and the magically chosen High Lord that doesn't get a say in if he's chosen by the gods to rule or not, who is also discriminated against by his own court (and the people outside it) for not being full High Fae

A bastard-born general who never knew his father and whose mother was murdered for being sexually assaulted, and was raised in a war camp for the first decade of his life

A shadowsinger who was likely also the product of sexual assault at the hands of his powerful father, who then punished Azriel for his OWN discretion by locking him in total darkness for 11 years and allowed his two older sons to torture the Azriel so severely he still carries the scars

An ancient god that spent 1000 years trapped in a prison

A woman whose only value to her family was her reproductive organs and when she no longer served that function, had a note nailed to her body before she was dumped over a foreign border where, lets be real, they expected her to be killed

And a badly neglected human girl who literally died at the altar of freeing a land that she'd been terrified of her entire life.

But like. Hell yeah. Go off, overthrow those nepo-baby rulers which DEFINITELY isn't it's own illiterate take of the reading.

[daydreaming-nerd]

Young Love and Old Money (Cassian x Female! Reader) Part 8

Young Love and Old Money Masterlist

AN: Hey guys I have a feeling no one really liked part 7 so I cut out a couple scenes for this. This chapter might feel like we’re jumping around a lot but I wanted to get you guys to the good stuff that you want in the next couple parts. I do want to take this time to tell you that things are going to get more angsty before they get more fluffy. At least the next two will have ANGST… but please hang in here with me and let me cook I promise you’ll love it in the end. I hope you all stick around. Sending you all love 🥺🖤

Summary: She was the most beautiful woman in Prythian, sister to the High Lord of Night, and now she is the soon-to-be wife of Eris Vanserra. Despite her many titles and her aura of unattainability, Cassian can't help but fall deeply in love with the princess of the Night Court. But will it be enough to stop her impending wedding to a man who is sure to destroy her from the inside out?

Warnings: Sexism, flashback to under the mountain, ANGST

Word Count: 5,609

The smell of sulfur and sweat filled my senses. During the day it was always burning hot and at night the temperature dropped significantly. The hour that it took for my body to adjust to the change in climate everyday was always grueling. When my brother and I first arrived he was able to keep me hidden, offering me his coat or an arm to slink under,  but the second Amarantha set eyes on him he was ripped away from me. I hadn’t been allowed to speak to him since.  

For the most part I had kept my head down, desperately trying to blend into the crowd of fae. It was  all I could do to survive, yet the whispers still followed me. 

“The Jewel”

“Rhysand’s sister” 

I knew they were all plotting against me, weighing whether or not my brother would have leave to reprimand anyone who dared hurt me. It was only a matter of time until someone decided to test the waters. 

I stood among the crowd of fae looking up at the dias before us. The King Of Hybern had come to see how his little experiment had been going and Amarantha had made a point of making a show out of it. She had the most noble subjects lined up first, Kallias, Helion and myself included among the ranks. The rest fell into place behind us.

I looked up to the dias where the High Queen sat, my brother standing dutifully by her side. To my knowledge he had not yet given in to her wishes, but by the bags under his eyes and the paleness of his skin I wondered how much more of her torture he could take. 

“As you can see my king, they have bent the knee without much fuss,” Amarantha gestured to those of us kneeling before her. The rocks under my knees cutting my skin. “We have all the High Lord’s but one present with us.” 

“Very good,” the king smiled, making his way down the line to survey every High Lord that Amarantha had lured into her domain. 

I kept my head down, staring only at the ground before me. The sound of his heavy boots crunching against the gravel was my only  indication that he was getting closer to where I was kneeling. The toe of his leather boots came into view before me and then stopped. My heart started to race and my palms became clammy behind my back. A cold hand lifted my chin and my eyes were met with a pair of black soulless ones.

“What about this one?” the king asked, never once taking his eyes off me. By the look on his face I could tell that he ate up every ounce of fear I projected, practically thrived off it.

“That is y/n, sister of Rhysand, High Lord of Night.” Amarantha purred, clearly proud of herself for getting me here. 

“I’d like to have her,” he said, pulling me up roughly by my arm. “It’s time I take a wife so that I might have an heir to this mighty kingdom I’ve built.” 

Fear courses through my veins as I feel tears start to prick my eyes. The king spoke so casually, like he was picking out a new tapestry. If I had eaten any food the last two days I would’ve hurled onto the stone floor below me. This would be my fate, and there was no one coming to save me. 

“She is yours then,” Amarantha said, sipping her wine. “She’s of no use to me. Make an example of her for all I care. Some of her companions have been especially restless these past few evenings.” she uttered, referring to how Helion punched a lesser fae for trying to touch me last night. 

“With pleasure,”the king growled, tossing me onto the ground. 

The stone and rock sliced open my palms, the pain quick and biting. I had barely any time to think before I felt the king kneeling behind me, his hands beginning to lift my dress. 

“NO NO NO!” my screams echoed off the walls falling upon deaf ears. 

I tried to crawl away but I was hauled back by a pair of hands, one wrapping around my neck forcing me up. 

“WAIT!” 

My brother's voice boomed through the room, ricocheting off the walls like glorious night earning gasps from the lesser fae behind us. Thankfully the disruption was enough to stop Hybern in his tracks. 

“If you don’t give my sister to him and you promise me her safety I will go to bed with you willingly,” Rhys pleaded and my heart dropped. 

My eyes flitted up to find my brother, the High Lord of the Night Court, and the most honorable man I ever knew, kneeling. His hands grasped one of Amarantha’s as she looked down at him with a light in her eyes. 

‘No, no, no, no’ was all I could think.

“Without any fuss?”she asked him. 

“Yes,” he agreed. 

“Rhys no!” I called but Hybern’s grip on my throat tightened. 

“For as long as I wish?” she clarified. 

“Yes.” 

“Consider it done,” she purred. 

My eyes flew open, my breath racing so fast I couldn’t keep up with it. A sheen of sweat coated my skin and it took me a moment to recognize where I was. 

Home. 

Cassian’s breaths rose and fell behind me, his arms around me an impenetrable wall to anyone who might try to take me from him. But it was all too much, and I needed to feel the fresh air. The fresh air I didn’t get to feel for 50 years. 

So I wiggled out of his grasp with great difficulty and padded down the hallway to the balcony where he and I normally would take off. 

The second the freezing night air hit my bare skin I felt like I could finally breathe again. My  nightgown did nothing to keep me warm but I was more than happy to feel the breeze. I looked down upon the sparking lights of Velaris and took it all in. There was a time I thought I would never see my home again, yet here I was. But at what cost? 

Images of Rhysand’s health deteriorating under the mountain flashed through my mind. What he had done with Amarantha, so completely unspeakable. The only time I ever saw him perk up was when the Cursebreaker showed up. The one who had saved us all, the one I would later find to be my brother’s mate. I had never met the woman, but I longed to thank her for what she did. 

These past few weeks I had been able to escape the nightmares of my time under the mountain. I supposed Cassian chased those monsters away. But as I stood here now I realized that it didn’t matter how far I ran, I could never be free of that stench of sulfur, and I could never outrun my guilt. 

“You’re going to catch a cold,” Cassian murmured from the doorway. I didn’t turn back to meet his stare, unwilling to show him the tears in my eyes. 

“It’s not that bad,” I laugh subtly wiping away a tear.

His arms wrap around me and I can’t help but lean into his warm chest, as his wings cocoon around me to block out the wind. He’s so warm, how is he always so warm? 

“Are you okay?” he asks softly, words rumbling through his chest. 

“I just had a nightmare that’s all,” I sigh, resting my hands to where his arms are clasped over my chest. “I thought that I was done having dreams about what happened under the mountain but I guess not. The things I saw? What Rhys did for me?” I pause, taking a deep breath. “Sometimes I think I’ll never really escape that place.”

Cassian turns me slowly in his arms and though I know he wants me to look at him, I can’t stop myself from wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his bare chest. He holds me even tighter as his wings wrap around me, keeping in the warmth. 

“Never again y/n,” he coos, running a hand over my hair. “For as long as I live you will never have  to go back there again.”

I can’t help as a tear trickles down my eye at his words. My face burying further into his warm chest, the one place I truly never want to leave. Not when I longed for it for so long. I breathed Cassian in deeply, trying to remind myself I was here, I was home. Rhys was at the townhouse, we were both safe. 

“What can I do? How can I help?” Cassian asked me, pressing a kiss to my forehead. 

“Just hold me,” I say with a shaky breath letting my hands wander up and down the bare skin of his back.

I felt his chest rumble through my cheek as he let out a small laugh, “I remember when I would’ve done anything to hear you say those words.” he says wings coming in tighter around me. 

“You can hold me whenever you want general,” I smile, continuing to rub circles on his lower back.

“Almost whenever I want,” he corrects me quietly.

Reality came back to me in an instant. I knew what he meant. The complexities of marriages, and armies and alliances keeping us from being transparent.

But we would get there soon… Together we would get there.  

The next few days my dream follows me. 

Every night I dream of my brother on his knees before Amarantha, every night I wake in a cold sweat, every night Cassian soothes me until I fall asleep again. 

As I stare at myself in the mirror the bags under my eyes are a reminder that last night the nightmare had found me again. The ladies maids behind me pull my corset tighter, taking away my ability to breathe.

The only saving grace about today is that Eris isn’t here. Apparently he was out on a hunt with his brothers on a hunt and had been gone for three days. I knew it was really a bachelor party, no doubt spent in a seedy brothel, but I didn’t care to correct the autumn court women. How could I when they had the garment so tight I could hardly speak.

Today had been all about fitting me for my wedding dress, one I had yet to see. It was a long process of measuring my arms, legs, and bust. Picking out shades of white that would look best with my  complexion, (the debate between ivory and white lasted an hour and was utterly ridiculous). With Eris gone Cassain had spent the day lounging on a sofa, letting his guard down, that is until the corsets came out.

“Prince Eris says he wants her a size smaller for the wedding, keep pulling!” Ordered the older of the two, her gray hair falling from its updo. Gods they had already taken me in a full size.

My hands braced on either side of the mirror as the women yanked with all their strength one last time. It took everything in me not to scream out in pain once more as the fabric constricted around me again. I swore on my life I heard a rib crack.

“That should do it, measure her,” the older one snapped again. I wasn’t sure who this woman was but I didn’t dare argue with her. 

A tape measure was slipped around my waist for the millionth time as they checked to see if the dress would fit. I watched in the mirror as the young one held up the measurement, my eyes flitting to Cassian’s worried gaze in the back of the room.  

“Perfect, the dress will fit nicely after the alterations on the arms are done,” the older woman reported, putting her tools away. “You are free to go.”

“Can you help me get this off?” I ask trying to reach around trying to find the ribbons but the damned thing is tied so tight I can’t even reach. 

“Absolutely not!” the woman cried like I had asked her to murder her first child. “You will need to leave that on till at least the end of the day to train your waist.” 

I don’t argue, too scared to hear the woman squawk at me again like she just did. Thankfully the younger one, who I assume is her apprentice, helps me put on my old dress. The rusty colored fabric is looser in the middle now but all I can think about is going home. The sooner I’m home the sooner I can take this damned thing off. 

“Ready?” Cassian asks, standing from his spot on the couch. 

“More than you know,” I laugh waddling over to him. 

He leads me out of the palace and neither of us say a word or even dare to brush hands as we walk down the too quiet hallways. Even when this place is empty it feels like it has eyes everywhere. I swear if I looked up right now there would be a dozen people staring down at me. Normally the second that I step outside I feel like I can breathe, but today that’s not the case. I’m thankful that Cassian feels my urgency to get home shooting us both into the sky as soon as possible. 

I knew it was dumb but I never got tired of this part of our day. There was a certain sense of joy in getting to spend these peaceful moments with Cassian. Just him and I, the world soaring by around us with the knowledge that I would be home soon and life could resume as normal. 

The second we touch down on the House of Wind balcony I’m rushing to Cassian’s room, well I supposed it was our room now, considering I hadn’t slept in my own in over a week. I hear Cass close the door behind me as I fumble for the ties on my dress desperately wanting to take a full, deep breath. 

“Here let me help you,”  he pleaded, moving my hands out of his way. 

“Thanks,” I breathed as I felt my dress fall to the ground, the impending freedom starting to make my heart race. Cassian’s hands fumbled with the knot at the base of the corset. 

“They tied it so tight I can’t break the knot apart,” he said, starting to panic a bit as my breathing quickened. 

“Cut it off me Cassian, I can’t breathe,” I rasp trying to pull the top of the corset off my skin a bit to allow my chest to rise and fall normally but it’s useless.  

“Shit baby hold on,” he assures me. I hear him draw a dagger from its sheath on his thigh, carefully dragging the tip down the back. 

With every single snap of the ribbons I feel my lungs expanding again and the second the torturous garment is on the floor I nearly double over, taking my first full breath. 

“Oh my gods,” Cassian curses, his fingertips running down my spine gently, like he might hurt me.

“What? What is it?” I ask looking into the floor length mirror in the corner of the room. In it I can see Cassian looking over my back with furrowed brows. 

“They bruised you,” he said, eyes meeting mine in the mirror.

I turn around so I can see myself in the mirror from afar and sure enough a bruise lines my vertebrae where the corset was. No wonder I felt like I heard bones cracking.

“It’s fine, you’ve experienced worse,” I sigh, picking up a discarded robe on the floor and slipping it over my shoulders. 

“I’d rather fight a battle than wear a corset,” Cassian snickered and honestly I didn’t blame him. 

“At least I’ll never have to wear it again,” I say, tossing the corset aside, taking my anger out on it.

“Does that mean you’ve figured out how you’re gonna handle this?” he asks me tentatively, like he was terrified to either ask or hear my answer.  

I turn to meet his eyes, and for a moment I think about taking the easy way out, telling him something that might give him hope. But we had spent so long lying about our feelings for one another, wasting so much time. I wouldn’t lie about this. 

“I thought I did, but the last two times I brought up calling off the wedding he-”

“If he touches you again I don’t think I-” he trails off, looking to the side as if he’s trying to compose himself. “Last time it felt like my blood was on fire.” 

His admittance nearly brought me to my knees. The anger in his eyes veiled with sadness had me reaching up to cup his face, just needing to feel him. 

“I know Cass and I’m so sorry. I know this is hard for you and gods I’m a fucking monster-” 

“Fuck y/n,” he shakes his head taking my hands in his. “Don’t you dare apologize. You are trying to save your people and help your court. I’m being a selfish prick.” he says, casting his head down in embarrassment.

My blood boils at the thought that he felt selfish in any sort of way. Even more so that I was the reason.

“No, don't say that,” I order him, squeezing his hands to bring his gaze to mine. “You are the most selfless male I’ve ever known. I love you Cass, and I promise I’m going to figure this out. Because I honestly don’t think I can live without you now. You are everything to me, and so much more. I know I can do this,” I assure him, but really I feel like I’m assuring myself more.  

His gaze softens, and a twinge of light flickers in his eyes, one that looks like hope, “I know you can too, My smart, ambitious, caring and beautiful woman,” he praises, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I am beyond honored to call you my princess.” 

“And I’m thankful to call you my general,” I smile, craning my head to read his face. “But mostly I’m just thankful to call you mine.” 

“I’ll be yours until my heart stops beating, and maybe even after that if there’s a place we go when our time in this world is through,” he coos, brushing a hair from my face. 

“Wherever that place is,” I sigh, pressing my head to his chest and pulling him closer to me. “I’ll follow you there too.” 

The days that followed were generally boring. Cassian would fly up to the Illyrian Mountains with Azriel to further prepare the troops for the impending war.  Apparently Windhaven had become the main stronghold for all the camps, and of course having hundreds of Illyrians in the same camp was more than rowdy. Cass and Az were constantly breaking up fights and coming home worse for wear. One night Cassian had come home caked in mud and blood, which he assured me wasn’t his own.

That night I demanded that he let me get him cleaned up and after hearing a million phrases along the lines of…

“You’re a princess, you shouldn’t be having to clean me up.” 

And 

“I don’t want to get you dirty.” 

I finally convinced the stubborn general to let me take care of him. I took my time rubbing out the knots in his shoulders, his muscles so hard I could barely feel my hands afterwards. The sounds that fell from his lips were enough motivation to keep going though. He even let me wash his wings, something I knew Illyrians didn’t normally tolerate. 

I remembered a day when I was just 10 years old and Rhys was 12. I had instinctively reached out to touch Rhys’ wing and he just about had my head. After that I was terrified to go anywhere near them. I could tell he felt bad about the encounter. One day when I was crying over something our father had yelled at me about he hugged me, and used his wings to cocoon me in.  It was enough to bring a smile to my face and ever since then it had become a silly thing he had done whenever I was upset. Gods we hadn’t had a moment like that in years.  

Nevertheless, my heart soared when Cassian asked me to wash his wings. I took my time to be extra careful. Grazing over sensitive areas when necessary. But appreciating every breathtaking inch of them.  I didn’t miss the way one of his large wings curled over my frame that night while we lay in bed, almost as if it was its own sentient being thanking me. 

“So last family dinner huh?” Azriel said as Cassian and I walked into the living room of the townhouse. 

The words rolling off the Shadowsinger's tongue was enough to make my stomach hurt again.  Rhysand had asked for us all to come together one last time for dinner as a family before I married Eris and moved to the Autumn Court. 

Cassian hadn’t asked for updates surrounding the nuptials that would be taking place in two days time, which I was thankful for, considering I had none to give. I knew that tonight he would ask for answers, I could tell by the quiet demeanor he had all day. But I would cross that bridge when I came to it. 

“Yeah I guess so,” I replied to Az as the three of us made our way to the long dining room table.

I took my usual place at the end of the table next to Azriel, Cassian sat across from me, Mor next to him and then Amren.  Rhys, who always sat at the head of the table, arrived late adjusting the lapels of his jacket.

“Forgive me for being late,” he apologized, taking his seat. “I was just reading the latest reports and well-” he trailed off, not wanting to bring it up. 

“What is it?” Amren demanded, leaving no room for him to avoid the question. 

“Hybern’s forces are growing and there are rumors that the spring court will stand with him,” Rhys admits and my stomach plummets. 

My eyes lift to Cassian’s and find him already looking at me. Worry passes between us. If the spring court has chosen to side with Hybern then we are truly outnumbered, especially if Tarquin refuses to fight. His foot brushes against mine under the table, the only comfort he’s able to offer me at the moment. 

“Why would Tamlin do that?” I ask, breaking the silence. 

“His father was one of Hybern’s biggest allies in the first war. My guess is that he’s trying to follow in his fathers footsteps,” Rhys turns to me. 

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Mor scoffed, sipping her wine. 

The topic of conversation was dropped and dinner continued as usual. The boys swapped fond memories and fought over who was the true winner of last year's snowball fight. All the while I couldn’t shake what my brother had said, if the rumors are true and Tamlin joins Hybern what does that mean for the rest of us? For Cassian, who would no doubt be on the front lines. 

I lift my eyes to see him and just like always I nearly have my breath taken away. He had one arm thrown over the back of his chair, the other holding a glass of wine while he laughed at something my brother had said. Cassian was so handsome when he was like this, at ease, laughing with his family. I had yet to see him in battle, but I knew that seeing him that way would be just as knee wobbling. If he was gone then what? 

I looked at my family around me, the home my brother had built and fought so hard to protect. The warmth that lived here, it was something that couldn’t be put into words. It could all be gone in seconds, and then everything my brother sacrificed under the mountain? It would’ve been for nothing.

“Well I have to get back and finish some paperwork,” Rhys said, tossing his napkin on the table. 

“I have some mission reports to wrap up,” Azriel said, also throwing in the metaphorical towel.

We all stood, our chairs sliding across the wooden floor with a squeak, my eyes found Cassian and I could sense that he wanted to speak to me. 

“And you dear sister need to get some beauty sleep for the big day,” Rhysand said, placing a kiss to the top of my head. 

I embraced him warmly, taking in every part of him. I knew it wouldn’t be the last time I saw him, or the last time I saw any of them. But with the wedding and war, everything seemed so much more precious now. 

We all moseyed over to the front door where I said goodbye to Mor and Amren, as they wouldn’t be attending the wedding. I gave the townhouse one last look, taking in the warm fae lights, the plush carpets and the love that the place offered. I hoped it would be a bright light for me to remember when I would no longer be able to visit. The door closed and I swear a part of me was locked behind it. 

“I’ll see you two at home,” Azriel said, he didn’t even give us a chance to say goodbye before shooting off into the sky. 

“Walk with me?” I asked Cassian, cocking an eyebrow at him. 

“Look at that you’re taking me for walks now, what a responsible dog owner,” Cassian smirks referring to the dog comment made nearly a month ago. 

“You’re never going to let me live that down are you?” I laugh bumping into his arm as he holds open the front gate for me.

“Never baby, never,” he laughs

 Velrais was beautiful no matter what time of day or what season it was. But summer nights in Velaris had to be my favorite. While growing up I hardly ever got to leave the house, if I did it was when Rhys would sneak me out on night time flights. Often going into the city for sweets or ice cream. 

Tonight was perfect. The temperature was just warm enough to merit the lilac satin I was wearing, while the breeze coming off the Sidra kept us both cool. It seemed that the whole town thought it was a perfect night. Many people opted to take their dinner and drinks on outdoor patios, a small band had brought their instruments out for children and couples to dance to, and there was a general scene of merriment everywhere. This was home. 

  As we got closer to the river and further from the music the breeze picked up and Cassian’s wing shot out to create a shield for me. My mouth was halfway open poised to say something when a small cry came out from behind me. Cassian whipped around to assess the danger even faster than I could, but as we both turned around all we found was a little girl, about 5 years old, running toward me, doll in hand. 

“Princess! Princess!” she squealed in excitement as she came to a halt at my feet, tugging on my dress. 

“Celia!” shouted a woman running towards us. By the matching black hair and blue eyes I could tell it was her mother. “Get back here this instant!”

“Don’t worry she’s alright,” I smiled towards the mother trying to offer her some reassurance. 

The woman quickly halted in her tracks upon seeing my face and bent at the waist, “Your highness please forgive me,” she said quickly. 

“Please, please, no bowing,” I laughed, placing my hand on her shoulder. 

“You’ll have to forgive this one, she’s much faster than me,” the woman laughed nervously. 

I looked down to see the little girl looking up at me with stars in her blue eyes, I bent over to pick her up using all my strength to do so.

 “Sounds like she’s going to be a little warrior then,” I laugh. “You should meet my friend Cassian, he’s the general.” I say to Celia hiking her up on my hip to see Cass. 

He tucked his wings in tight and wiggled his fingers at the little girl, trying to seem less intimidating. She hesitantly waved back unsure of him and then turned her gaze to me. 

“You’re pretty,” she smiled, one of her tiny hands grazing my nose for emphasis.

“Why thank you. I think you’re very pretty as well Celia,” I smile at her cherub cheeks. “Tell me about your dolly,” I say looking at the porcelain doll in her arms.  

“Her name's Poppy, she’s a princess too,” Celia stated proudly holding the doll up so I could see her more clearly. 

“Well it’s lovely to meet you princess Poppy,” I nodded, shaking the doll's dainty hand. 

“Come on Celia it’s time for bed darling,” her mother laughed.

I placed the girl down on the ground and watched her run to grab onto her mothers legs. 

“Thank you princess,” she nodded to me. “General,” she nodded to Cassian. 

“Of course,” I said, waving goodbye.

As I watched the two walk away hand in hand I couldn’t help but notice the warmth there and the love. At that moment I found myself missing my own mother.  I looked out over the river, the calm black water drifting by as the stars sparkled over Ramiel. The distant sounds of children laughing, adults singing, music playing. 

I couldn’t leave this place to chance. This beautiful home that Rhys had built, the shops and restaurants. The people who lived here peacefully and without worry. 

I wouldn’t let people like Celia and her mother suffer from my selfishness. 

I turned to find Cassian already staring at me expectantly, as is if he was on edge waiting for me to say something. There was a wariness to his stare that told me he knew what came next.  

“Cass we need to talk,” I sigh.

I see his metaphorical hackles raise as he speaks, “No y/n, absolutely not. I won’t lose you.” he declared the heat of the argument already rising. 

“There isn’t a way out Cassian. I won’t put my people at risk like that. Think of the little girls like Celia. I can’t just sit by and watch her go to the slaughter because I didn’t want to marry someone.” I argue, gesturing to the city behind him. “And what about you? Huh? You heard what Rhys said. If Tamlin is involved and we still don’t have Tarquin’s support, then where does that leave you? On the frontlines. If something were to happen to you and I had to live with the thought that I could’ve done something to stop it but didn’t, I couldn’t live with myself.”

Cassian’s fists clenched at his sides, “I would rather live with you for however long I have left then be without you y/n.” he pleaded. 

His words hit like a blow as I felt tears pricking my eyes. This was the end. This beautiful, wonderful thing I had found that made me feel so alive, so loved. It was ending, and it was dying like a star. Burning bright and exploding, taking everything in its path. 

“And what about them?” I gestured to the city in the distance as a cheer sounded from one of the taverns. “If I don’t marry Eris that means I’m okay with their blood on my hands Cassian. What does that make me? A monster.” 

His jaw ticked,  “So I’m just supposed to sit here and watch you marry him? Watch him put his hands all over you? Watch you have his fucking children!” he roared, eyes only softening when I flinched away from him. 

“I’m sorry Cass, but I don’t know what to do anymore. All I know is that I want to save my people, and this is the only way I know how. The safest.” I say calmly. 

Cassian steps back and looks over the water, like he can’t even face me and I don’t blame him. He takes a deep breath, seemingly collecting his thoughts and then he speaks for the last time.

“He is going to kill you from the inside out y/n. You’re going to become just like that dog in his kennels,” he grits, unable to meet my gaze. “And I won’t stick around to watch.” 

He walks past me, wings nearly knocking me over. 

“Cassian please,” I cry trying to reach out for him, but he’s airborne and flying gods know where before my fingers can graze his leathers. 

I stand there watching him disappear into the night sky. Once he’s out of sight I swear I hear a roar so loud it rattles Ramiel. I’m left there on the edge of the river with no one but myself to wipe my tears. And I suppose I deserve that, I should’ve never kissed Cassian that night after the ball, should’ve never gone to bed with him. Should’ve never fallen in love with him. 

Turns out it didn’t matter what I did, I was a monster either way. 

And I sat and thought about that for a long time.

Part 9

Taglist: @crystalferret202 , @nickishadow139 ,  @graceshifts , @writeroutoftime , @heyyitsnat21,  @stinkinstuffie , @lilah-asteria , @12358 , @fxckmiup, @daughterofthemoons-stuff, @mybestfriendmademe, @anxious-study, @bxm-1012 , @mal-adaptive-dreams ,  @sh4nn , @talesofadragon , @5onedirection5 

Permanent Taglist: @fides25, @dissociated-always   

[medfetabdl]

Rules of my blog and about me

About me:

I am a 20 year old virgin straight male. I’ve been into medfet and age play for a while and I love it. I have a lot of hobbies but they all mainly revolve around my love for making stuff. I am a jack of all trades, I can do electrical work, carpentry, plumbing, small electronics (design, repair, and building), sewing, embroidery, welding, machining, lock picking, lock smithing, CAD (computer aided design), 3d printing, automotive repair, and a whole lot more! My career background is in the entertainment industry, I’ve been doing lighting, sound, and video since I was 12 years old.

I love to play with medical equipment as I find it really fun to play with and find it absolutely fascinating. I love to be hooked up to my Philips Intellivue monitors and I love buying stuff for them and playing around with their infinite configurability. I also really enjoy making my own medical toys to play with, I’ve slowly perfected a diy ventilator over the last two years.

I suffer from several mental disorders including ASD, ADHD, BPD, severe anxiety, and chronic depression. I am very sensitive to loud and busy environments. I find meeting new people awkward. I tend to like to talk a lot about the stuff I’m into.

I’m in search of a woman who is around my age and shares my love of medfet and age play and who understands the struggles I go through everyday.

Rules of my blog:

-I do not RP unless under specific circumstances, I am a bit more willing to RP with women under the right circumstances, I am absolutely not interested in RP with men.

-I am happy to make custom content for people but I expect to be paid for it, I’m not just going to send you custom content because you asked nicely for it. I accept payment via PayPal.

-Do not message me asking to see specific pictures of me or parts of my body. I’m just not gonna respond to men asking to see my privates or other areas of my body. If women ask I’m more willing to send a sample pic but I’m gonna expect a pic from you in response.

-I have absolutely nothing against gay people and I definitely support LGBTQ+ but I’m not the slightest bit into men.

-Feel free to use the ask me anything button, if I don’t like the question then I just won’t respond.

-I love to talk about my projects so feel free to ask me questions about them.

-I don’t tolerate homophobia, transphobia, sexism, racism, or hate of any kind, if I see this behavior from your profile you will be blocked.

-When messaging me for the first time please try to get right to the point about what you want to talk about, just saying hi or hey means I’m probably gonna ignore you.

-My profile is 18+ only, I don’t support minors being publicly involved in fetish communities. Fetishes are an awesome thing to explore and people tend to find out about them in their teens. I think it’s perfectly okay for teens to learn about fetishes and to experiment, but do not interact with fetish or sexual communities until you turn 18. I started being apart of fetish communities when I was 17 so I understand how you feel like you’re old enough for it but trust me when I say that waiting until you’re 18 is for your own safety. The internet is full of creepy people and unfortunately there are plenty of bad eggs in fetish communities who will try to take advantage of you, so it’s best to wait.

-I don’t show my face in my posts for a reason. I am not super comfortable showing myself in pics right off the bat. It’s also for my safety, I don’t want anyone I know to stumble onto these pics and hiding my face makes it significantly harder to identify me.

-I run on a one strike policy, if you break my rules once I’ll let it slide but do it again and I’m blocking you.

-If I don’t respond to your messages it’s probably because I’m not interested in talking to you, nothing personal and no offense but I’m not really here to make guy friends I have plenty of them already, I want to meet women with my ultimate goal being finding a life partner.

-I’m more likely to respond to your DMs or interact with you in general if you actually have content posted on your profile.

-I am more than happy to take requests for content you want to see me post, a full list of all my equipment is in several posts, just leave a comment on one of my posts or use the ask me anything button to make a request.

-If I buy equipment I don’t need all of or buy something to replace some of my other equipment I will definitely be giving it away to the community and the details and rules for giveaways will be in specific posts.

[1eos]

I would love an excerpt from that intersectionality chapter

some bits from the opening:

Since the Everyday Sexism Project started, many of the stories we have catalogued have described not just sexism but sexism intermingled with other forms of prejudice – racism, homophobia, transphobia, classism, ageism, disableism, stigma around mental-health problems, and more. Again and again, we’ve heard from women in same-sex relationships being fetishized and asked for threesomes when they’re just trying to walk down the street, trans women mocked and belittled and hounded from public spaces, Asian women being labelled as ‘easy’ or ‘obedient’, sex workers accused of being complicit in their own assaults, disabled women infantilized and patronized and countless similar stories. I chose to include this chapter in order to put a spotlight on these issues of ‘double discrimination’ (or, indeed, triple or quadruple) because it has proved to be a major recurring theme within the project and is a crucial focus for modern feminism. The severity and frequency of the problem merits closer examination. However, it should be noted that, though this section is designed to give these intersections between different forms of prejudice the attention they deserve, they also run throughout the other sections of this book, just as they should be present in all feminist discourse and activism. The inclusion of this chapter does not conveniently distance and compartmentalize its subject matter as one clean-cut area of sexism, and nor is it intended to ‘other’ those subjected to such double discrimination. Intersectionality means being aware of and acting on the fact that different forms of prejudice are connected, because they all stem from the same root of being ‘other’, ‘different’ or somehow ‘secondary’ to the ‘normal’, ‘ideal’ status quo. So, just as women suffer from sexism because our society is set up to favour and automatically take men as the ‘norm’ from which women deviate, so the same is true for people who are ‘different’ from other dominant norms – such as being heterosexual, white, cisgendered, and non-disabled.

...

"In fact, twerking itself is a perfect recent example of the hyper-sexualization of black women, having been famously and deliberately adopted, alongside other aspects of black culture, by former Disney pop princess Miley Cyrus, in her bid to shed her pure, good-girl image for something more ‘risky’ and ‘sexy’. But by consciously employing a dance move associated with black women (and indeed by using black women as literal objects and props, as she did during her notorious VMA performance), Cyrus has simply contributed to the idea of the appropriation of black culture, by a woman, as an immediate means to appear raunchy, oversexed and vulgar. This is a tool that Cyrus, as a white woman, may pick up and put down again should she ever wish to lay her ‘risqué’ persona to rest. The same cannot be said of the black women whose image she’s helped to caricature and over-sexualize."

....

-Laura Bates, Everyday Sexism

[jasmin-d55]

Week 8 Blog Post #7 10/17

A gaming persona / avatar

Girlypop is the name for my gaming persona and I made her to be very bubbly yet in a way to herself and mysterious. In the game she is able to dress up and have fun like in dress to impress on roblox!

What went into the construction of each avatar?

Girlypop was designed to be bubbly yet mysterious, making her friendly but with a reserved side. This allows her to fit into various gaming situations and keep other players intrigued.

What was behind the username you created?

"Girlypop" reflects a fun, feminine, and energetic vibe. It’s catchy and memorable, matching her lively personality.

What thought went into the clothing/outfit choice for your persona/avatar?

Her bright and playful clothing reflects her upbeat nature, while some darker accessories add a hint of mystery, balancing her character.

Were you interested in disguising your sex, gender, or race in the construction of any online persona?

No, I didn’t focus on disguising these aspects. Girlypop embraces her feminine style to create an authentic but multifaceted presence.

How have race, racism, sex, sexism, and gender online shaped the personas you create?

I designed Girlypop to challenge gender stereotypes in gaming. Her bubbly but layered personality aims to push back against typical assumptions about female avatars.

A dating site persona / avatar

Jazzy_flower is my dating site persona. The persona is very sweet, innocent, and calm, with a style that emphasizes pink accents and bows, giving her a soft, approachable look. Her appearance is meant to convey warmth and kindness, creating a sense of comfort and friendliness.

Tell me what went into the construction of each avatar.Jazzy_flower was created to present a warm, approachable persona that feels calm and sweet, aiming to attract a like-minded audience.

What was behind the username you created?The name "Jazzy_flower" reflects a mix of playfulness and softness, with "Jazzy" bringing a bit of flair and it being my nick name and "flower" symbolizing gentleness and sweetness also the definition of Jasmin which is a flower.

What thought went into the clothing/outfit choice for your persona/avatar?I chose outfits with pink accents and bows to emphasize the gentle and approachable vibe, aiming to create a soft and welcoming appearance.

Were you interested in disguising your sex, gender, or race in the construction of any online persona?No, I intended to keep the avatar aligned with my own identity, aiming for authenticity in how I present myself online.

How have the ways race, racism, sex, sexism, and gender manifest online shaped the online personas you create?The online environment influenced Jazzy_flower's sweet and approachable persona to avoid negative stereotypes or misunderstandings, aiming to project a positive and non-threatening image in a space where perceptions can be quick and often critical.

Day-to-day persona / avatar (that you use with friends and family)

Jasmin is the name of my day-to-day persona, reflecting my real name for authenticity. This persona embodies a friendly and calm demeanor, exuding warmth and positivity. I love to connect with people, often expressing my affection through likes and hearts in messages. Social interactions with family and friends are important to me, and I enjoy sharing moments of joy, support, and encouragement. My goal is to create a welcoming atmosphere where everyone feels valued and appreciated, embodying the genuine connections I strive for in my everyday life.

What went into the construction of each avatar?

Jasmin's avatar reflects my real-life personality—friendly, social, and caring. I wanted it to convey warmth and approachability, so I focused on a look that emphasizes connection and positivity.

2. What was behind the username you created?

I chose “Jasmin” because it’s my actual name, making it feel authentic and personal. It also adds a sense of familiarity that encourages engagement with friends and family.

3. What thought went into the clothing/outfit choice for your persona/avatar?

I opted for bright, cheerful colors and comfortable styles that represent my friendly demeanor. Outfits include fun patterns and accessories like hearts to symbolize love and kindness.

4. Were you interested in disguising your sex, gender, or race in the construction of any online persona?

No, I wanted Jasmin to represent my true self without disguising any aspects of my identity. The aim was to express my genuine personality rather than hide behind a mask.

5. How have the ways race, racism, sex, sexism, and gender manifest online shaped the online personas you create?

I aim to create a persona that celebrates inclusivity and kindness, countering online negativity. Understanding the impact of these issues helps me engage more thoughtfully with others and build a supportive online environment.

[bookcoversaroundtheworld]

Everyday Sexism - Spain

In 2012 after being sexually harassed on London public transport Laura Bates, a young journalist, started a project called Everyday Sexism to collect stories for a piece she was writing on the issue. Astounded by the response she received and the wide range of stories that came pouring in from all over the world, she quickly realised that the situation was far worse than she'd initially thought. Enough was enough. From being leered at and wolf-whistled on the street, to aggravation in the work place and serious sexual assault, it was clear that sexism had been normalised. Bates decided it was time for change.

This bold, jaunty and ultimately intelligent book is the first to give a collective online voice to the protest against sexism. This game changing book is a juggernaut of stories, often shocking, sometimes amusing and always poignant - it is a must read for every inquisitive, no-nonsense modern woman.

[k00299539]

LSAD Seminar 01: Colour Theory with Sylvia Shortall

What is Colour Theory?

In it's most basic form, colour theory is the study of how colours relate to one another and how this, in turn, affects our perception of them. The feeling or emotion evoked by a colour or combination thereof is of particular interest this field of study.

Above: An old RTE test card from 1978 recorded by Andrew Walmsley on Youtube.

The Medium Affects the Message

An important consideration when discussing clour and colour theory is through what medium the colour is being perceived. For instance I have two desktop monitors; A pen display for digital art and an old Dell monitor from a million years ago. Due to differences in technical specifications and calibration they display colour slightly differently. The pen display is marketed toward artists for its colour accuracy, whereas the Dell monitor was basically made to for looking at spreadsheets. If I slide a picture across from one monitor to the other, I can observe the colours change in real time. In this sense, the accuracy of colours is something we can take for granted.

Above: A video which explains digital colour and how images are projected onto monitors.

Enter PANTONE

So if we can't even trust a colour to look the same between two different monitors, how on earth can brands like Coca-Cola or Starbucks slap their logo on every conceivable product under the sun with one recognisable colour?

Well for better or worse the answer is Pantone LLC and their proprietary Pantone Matching System (PMS). Basically Pantone have a specific formula to render any given colour in any given format. For instance an average computer monitor recreates colour through backlighting hundreds of tiny pixels varying shades of red, green and blue. This is known as the RGB colour model, which is considered "additive" as the colours "add" together to create their intended effect. Print media on the other hand, uses the CMYK colour model. The is a "subtractive" colour model, where the cyan, magenta, yellow, and black (K) mask one another out gradually until the desired tone is created. Pantone somehow they were able to copyright this process and have people pay them for it. If it's not obvious, I hate Pantone and here's a video that should explain why:

Above: A good video about a bad company.

Janine Antoni - Loving Care, 1993

Sylvia actually recommended I research Janine Antoni for my project, so I was happy too see her work show up in this seminar. Personally I feel colour is one of the less important aspects of this particular piece, but all the same, it's roll can't be diminished either.

The use of commercial hair dye, Antoni's long hair and the act of mopping play into stereotypes of women and their gender defined "roles" in life. The gallery floor becoming covered in dye and the audience being gradually forced back out the door they came in can be seen as an act of reclamation. In this sense Antoni is challenging gender roles by using the traditionally feminine to accomplish the traditionally masculine. For me, it brings to mind the contrast between how men and women sit in public spaces, the phenomenon of "Man-spreading". Something that is seen as a faux pas for women but normalised for men. Antoni makes the viewer confront this kind of everyday sexism.

I think she choose a monochrome colour palette here for the contrast. The deep black on the brilliant white. The Yin and Yang of those shades is often said to represent men and women. I'm gonna move on now cause I'm really just rambling about a piece of art I enjoy.

Above: Hair dye charts bear a striking resemblance to Pantone swatch booklets.

Colour for Legibility

Many maps, such as the famous London Underground map designed by Harry Beck, use abstracted visuals and colour to distinguish between and make clear what might otherwise appear as confusing and arbitrary.

Above: You can tell me which one of these two maps is more legible...

Similarly road signs are specifically engineered in such a way as to be legible under any given time of day or weather condition, regardless of colour.

The Politics of Colour

Colour can mean a lot more than simple aesthetics. As Sylvia points out in the lecture, there can be strong political associations with specific colours. A powerful example of this is how our public post boxes in Ireland were mandated to be painted green after the country achieved independence from British colonial rule. In fact the shade of green was entirely arbitrary, one could argue the act was more about the removal of the distinctly British-associated shade of red, which itself speaks volumes of the power of colour.

A similar example of the political power of colour was the #Blackout campaign to protest against racism and police brutality following the killing of George Floyd.

Copyright and Colour

Left: Yves Klein, Center: Anish Kapoor, Right: Stuart Semple

A bit similar to Pantone and their patented method of matching colour, a number of artist have gained infamy for their roles in legal ownership and exclusive use of colour.

Yves Klein, an influential french artist and pioneer of performance art. Klein, in collaboration with Edouard Adam, created a vibrant blue, reminiscent of the lapis lazuli used in medieval paintings of the Virgin Mary. This shade was dubbed International Klein Blue or IKB. Klein registered this process with the French patent institute in 1960 but never formally patented it.

Renowned British-Indian artist Anish Kapoor, known for sculptures such as "The Bean" and Sky Mirror, was granted exclusive artistic use of the super-black coating Vantablack by it's creator Surrey NanoSystems in 2014. This provoked widespread criticism across the art world.

Kapoor drew particular criticism from Biritsh artist Stuart Semple. Semple, in retaliation to Kapoor's exclusive licensing of Vantablack released a shade of pink paint called "PINK – the world's pinkest pink paint" with the specific legal caveat that it could not be purchased by or for Anish Kapoor. This spurred him on toward a movement of democratising colour, creating affordable alternatives to patented shades such as the aforementioned Vantablack but also to Yves Klein's IKB and even an alternative to Pantone's matching system.

If it's not obvious I think artists have legal exclusivity to materials of any kind is an affront to art itself, and I'm happy to see people like Semple challenging the practice.

Above: Anish Kapoor's now iconic reply to Stuart Semple after getting his hands on PINK.

Stanley Whitney and Colour

Stanley Whitney is an American painter known for his use of colour and politically motivated art. I included a video above where he talks both about important political causes like contraceptive rights and also his feelings on colour.

What I admire specifically about Whitney's work is his persistent use of a loose grid as a composition. It highlights just how much emphasis he places on colour. What speaks to the viewer in a Stanley Whitney painting are the colours and their relationships between one another.

[summaryi]

A Deadly Education - Naomi Novik (Lesson One of The Scholomance)

I’m a Naomi Novik stan. I adore Uprooted. Uprooted literally grows roots inside my heart. I have not read Spinning Silver or the Temeraire books yet but I’m confident I’ll love them.

I’m in love with A Deadly Education and literally ranted to my girlfriend for an incoherent hour.

Spoilers Below

I LOVE MAPS IN BOOKS. I FUCKING LOVE MAPS. AND THIS MAP WE SEE IS SO FUN TO LOOK AT. AND WE GET TO SEE EL’S AND CHLOE’S ROOMS? WE LOVE CLASS COMMENTARY.

THE CHOSEN-ONE TROPES TURNED ON THEIR HEAD! THAT WE SEE IN BOTH EL AND ORION!

THE WAY THAT I VERY SELFISHLY WANT TO READ INTO EL’S DARK-CHOSEN-SORCERESS TROPE AND THE AMOUNT SHE HAS TO STRUGGLE JUST TO SURVIVE AS PERHAPS AN ANALOGY FOR the struggle of neurodivergence and depression.

The fact that literally just getting through an ordinary day is SO much more taxing and difficult for El compared to enclave legacies (like Orion or Chloe) or even Aadhya, who isn’t a legacy but at least isn’t constantly bombarded by an inescapable dark fate (hello, depression and passive suicidal ideation idk maybe i’m projecting here)

The extra work she has to do to weed out her assignments before she even STARTS, in order to make sure she doesn’t hollow herself out or accidentally kill anyone. The extra struggle it is to start normal, everyday tasks irl with depression.

The way that she physically showers less often than other people, and her hygiene is one of the contributing factors to people not really wanting to associate with her. The fact that she doesn’t shower that often because she straight up doesn’t have people to watch her back and protect her in the bathrooms. The way that hygiene is so so much harder with depression and neurodivergence.

The way that the void in her room LITERALLY keeps handing her “how to start really strong fires” and “1001 ways to kill your enemies” and “10 ez ways to turn your problems into literal dust!” (those stupid stupid intrusive thoughts, hello anxiety and depression, no i will NOT do that dangerous thing THANK YOU), when all she wants to do is clean her room (CLEAN HER ROOM).

The way that she encounters the mals more often than others like enclavers, and Orion pokes fun at her diligence (hi ptsd and hi straight up systematic injustices, sexism, racism) - when her diligence, literally living with her head on a swivel, are the ONLY things keeping her alive. The way she has only herself to depend on because the world she lives in is literally NOT built to accommodate her, and is ONLY built for a privileged few. Literally. Designed. By enclavers for their enclaver children.

The way El very plainly states that Orion likes her because she’s the only person to treat him as a human being, and not a hero on a pedestal, and how she understands that normalcy is valuable and expensive, so so precious and life changing.

The way that enclavers have so many invisible and visible advantages over non-enclavers. Bigger rooms (hi, Chloe), SO MUCH MANA, an automatic group of people, even if they’re not friends, at least people to watch your back. The knowledge that is passed down by generational wizards, the power that they can rely on and trade on outside of school. The way we see that difference in advantage highlighted.

The way that El learns to rely on others. The way that she FINALLY MAKES FRIENDS AS SHE DESERVES LET’S FUCKING GO LADIES GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS ok jk they don’t gatekeep or gaslight but they SURE AS HELL GIRLBOSS you get it 

THE WAY THAT OTHER PEOPLE TELL EL

TO NOT SHOVE THEM OUT OF HER LIFE

BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE HER FRIEND

AND SHE HAS TO LEARN TO BE LIKE

OH SHIT

OK

THE WAY MENTAL ILLNESS REALLY FUCKS YOU UP INSIDE AND YOU NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED NEED NEED NEED COMMUNITY AND SUPPORT BUT ALSO SELF-AWARENESS AND REFLECTION AND TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY 

idk i’m rambling i love this book and I didn’t cry once but I probably will when I re-read it

[gaymormonmike]

MARGINALIZED

My focus recently has been on my marginalization as a gay, divorced, single man in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I had an insight last week as I studied scriptures and pondered and prayed about marginalization in general.

What does it mean if someone is marginalized?

Today, marginalize refers to the act of treating a person or group as though they are insignificant by isolating and/or disempowering them. The term marginalized applies to the person or group that is treated insignificantly, pushed to the margins of society and rendered powerless. Marginalization is the result of discrimination. Discrimination exists in many forms, such as racism, sexism, ableism, ageism, homophobia and xenophobia. Whether or not the discrimination is overt or covert, it marginalizes others and that is unacceptable.

As I thought about that some insights came to mind.

I was a small child marginalized in many ways. I was a Highly Sensitive Person in a family that did not like a HSP boy. I had a father who wanted a boy like his ideal, the man he never was. I grew up early, knowing I was not acceptable, something was wrong in me. I lived in the ghetto of a small Midwestern town. That side of town was regarded as trash. Child abuse was common and just part of life. We did not know any different. I went into a profession, Registered Nurse, dominated by females. Once again, I was marginalized as a "male nurse."  When I was 13, I understood I was attracted to my male friends. I knew that was wrong and I felt so different and so alone and so marginalized. After I joined the LDS church, I accepted that my sexual orientation was a sin that would result in eternal punishment, and I fought against it so hard. I got married, had children and grandchildren and tried to be happy. I was on the outer edge, and I was a man divided against himself.

As I think about the members of my ward and the many good people who pursue being good, I wonder how many of them are marginalized in some aspect.  Maybe they all fall into some marginalized group.

LBGTQA+ and allies

People of color

People of African American descent with family history of slavery

People of religious groups who may not be in favor for various reasons, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Mormons, Catholics, Jehovah Witnesses, Snake Baptists, Holy Rollers, Whirlimng Dervishes, etc. etc.

People raised in the wrong part of town.

Single parents, Orphans, Adoptees, Adopted parents, childless parents,

Shamed, self-loathers, want to be someone else’s,

People who project onto others, those projected on, those who use transference to defend themselves,

Married people, teen-agers, pre-teenagers,

People who went to schools that were not the best, community colleges, virtual colleges, home schooled, schools dominated by non-white races.

Latino people, pickers, illegal aliens, people with foreign accents that are not desirable,

People with everyday jobs, housekeepers, hotel cleaners, waiters and waitresses, sewer workers, garbage collectors, used car salesman, scammers, phone solicitors.

People with smelly homes, broken down porches with appliances and furniture on them, uncared for yards.

People with dirty children in bare feet and dirty clothes

Appalachians, hillbillys, southerners, racists, bigots, nazis, KKK, Haters,

women, girls,

Fat people, people with glasses, ugly people, people who spit in public,

Bullies, fighters, controllers, get their wayers

Abusers, sexual, emotional, physical abusers, their victims their survivors

Criminals, jail birds, cons, ex-cons, police, fireman, law enforcement

Lawyers, doctors, nurses,

Republicans, Democrats, Conservatives, Liberals, Communists, Fascists, Libertarians

Rich people, people with no worries or cares or need to help.

People of privilege who can have everything they want.

People who like snakes and lizards

People with odd looking hair, dyed or long or wild or standing up or part shaved, or all shaved or just different

People who are animals, dogs, cats, deer, pigs

People from Poland, Russia, Mexico, China, Asia, people with slanty eyes, with red dots on their foreheads, Muslims, people with turbans, women covered with burkas,

Blondes, especially female

Single people, unmarried, divorced, windowed,

People addicted to drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, working out,

Lovers of fame, fortune, liars, thieves, politicians,

Heart breakers, non- committers, seducers, pedophiles, enticers, embracers, touchers, feelers,

Homeless people, beggars, street people, shopping cart people.

Atheists, Agnostics, God haters and profaners, 

People who believe they are saved, condemners, better than thouers, people who know it all, prideful people.

Have I left anybody out? Or have I failed to insult you or the group you align yourself with? Or the group you want to forget you ever were a part of? Or the group you are happy to be a part of and do not appreciate being lumped into here?

I also fear that we will compare who has it worse. I say that each situation, whether of our making or by our birth or others’ choices, are legitimate. I have heard or read of thousands who had it worse than me. It did not take away my issues and what I go through. Your trials and tribulations and joys are yours and deserve the same reverence and respect of all others.

These words cannot define or describe the people they may represent. They cannot be equal in their results or effects. First there is the person who experiences these words in their lives. Each is different and unique and deals with a myriad of ways.. Some can turn these experiences into stellar personality adaptations. The environment that you grow up in and the attitudes of those who influence you can change the effect of these situations. They can become a reason to overcome or a reason to despair. Your faith can change how you view life, and its' vagaries can change the outcomes. The options you have or the perceived options you have can change how you react to all situations. The intensity of the experience and its effects on you can vary greatly. It is true that some of these are a result of things you cannot control or change. Others have the potential to be choices that you can control or change. But to some degree we all have traits or situations that others judge, feel superior to or dislike enough to not want to acknowledge your worth or value. If we examine ourselves, we will find we are both victims of and people who sometimes, marginalize others.

My question is how any of us can feel superior or look down on anyone else, when we are all in some way marginalized people?

I am a strong believer in Heavenly Father and Mother and my Savior Jesus Christ. I attest that he made all of us, everyone on the lists above. He loves us fully and completely as we are. He wants us to be better, but He loves us with our faults and offers a way back home to His side. Many of the people I listed above are people that I am either a part of or have judged in my life. I seek to be a better man, a better queer man, a better Christ-like man by realizing that the people at church and in my social sphere that marginalize me are themselves marginalized in some capacity. My goal is to help us all see that and accept that we can love one another because we are different and we have incredible stories and incredible pasts and that we can all become more loving, accepting and affirming.

[aronarchy]

Unpacking Hetero-Patriarchy: Tracing the Conflation of Sex, Gender & Sexual Orientation to Its Origins

…

II. TRACING THE ORIGINS OF THE SEX/GENDER STATUS QUO

That classical Greece was the cradle of Western culture is axiomatic. Recently, scholars have begun to document the Greeks’ critical role in the institutionalization of patriarchy in the Western world. Synthesizing the work of such scholars, this Section will show how the Greek sex/gender system, as mediated through Roman imperialism, gave rise to the sex/gender conceptions that birthed contemporary arrangements.

In doing so, this Section must and does selectively oversimplify; that is, in order to illuminate how sex, gender, and sexuality became conflated in ancient times, I focus on the most relevant portions of the historical record that has been adduced and passed down over the ages, a record that is replete with gaps, biases, and contradictions. Because it would be impossible in the context of an article such as this to resolve the issues raised by the informational and interpretative problems of this history, doing so is not the task I undertake below. And because it would be impossible to recount comprehensively every nuance or particularity in the historical record that does exist, I also do not undertake a definitive history of social and sexual relations between or among the sexes. Instead, the following account focuses on relatively formal aspects of Greek sex/gender arrangements, and on populations that were relatively privileged by those formal arrangements. This twin focus is not only necessary, given the state of the historical record, it also is beneficial because it permits an important gain-the critical extrapolation of basic themes from antiquity that presage the contemporary Euro-American conflation of sex, gender, and sexual orientation, and that thereby help to elucidate the problems associated with this status quo. This focus is a reminder that the ultimate concern of this account, and of this Article as a whole, is the conflation and its cultural origins.

A. Men & Women: The March to Hierarchy

The march toward institutionalized patriarchy began with the gradual ascendancy of “phallocentrism,” which followed the shift from socio-economic systems based on “collecting” to “pastoral” systems based on domesticated animals, and thence to the Euro-American prototype of “the state” in the form of the Greek polis, or city-state. This gradual transition from kin-based tribal systems to established city-states was shaped by the value of physical prowess in conflicts among and within competing clans. The increasingly central relationship between brute force and political and economic power presaged, and gradually led to the incorporation of, phallocentric and patriarchal values into the emergent “civilization” of early Greece.

In this way, a politics of physicality generated cultural norms and symbolisms that projected the superiority of “masculinity” in the Greek city-state, even in everyday circumstances that did not implicate actual physical strength. The construction and operation of “femininity” therefore increasingly denoted, and required, sociosexual deference and surrender to “masculinity.” Institutionalized by Greece and disseminated by Rome, androcentric sexism, or androsexism, over time has become a fixture of Euro-American cultures.

B. Greek Patriarchy: Androsexism Established

The record described here as “Greek” focuses on Athens during its classical era because the historical legacy of Athens is well documented and because Athenian culture during this period was the most influential among the city-states of ancient Greece.

The Conflation of Sex and Gender and Greek Regulation of Sexual Desire

In ancient Greece, as in contemporary Euro-American societies, sex assignments adhered to external genital anatomy, and such assignments served as a key basis of social categorization and organization. The Greeks, like today's Euro-Americans, thus used sex as the basis of their sex/gender arrangements and of their socio-sexual relations. Moreover, the Greeks used sex to establish patriarchy as the organizing principle of their sex/gender ideology. Thus, on the whole, the Greek and Euro-American conceptions and uses of sex were administratively and ideologically similar.

The Greeks likewise sexed gender and gendered sexualities, making gender generally deductive, but only partially what I will term intransitive. Though the social aspects of gender were for the most part fixed by sex, gender was partially mutable due to sexual norms and practices among the citizen male elite, which called for sexual gender transitions under some circumstances for limited time spans. The Greek model, in short, made gender socially intransitive, or fixed, but sexually transitive, or mutable, depending on sex, age, and class.

Despite these differences of scope and degree regarding the intransitivity of the sexual element of gender, both the ancient Greek and modem Euro-American systems construct and manage gender under the active/passive paradigm. Consequently, the Greek system, like the Euro-American system, attributed to gender both social and sexual aspects: Active and passive distinctions applied in both social and sexual domains of life. Even though gender was intransitive only socially, it was articulated and regulated both in social and sexual terms under the active/passive paradigm. Greek and Euro-American conceptions of gender, as with sex, were therefore similar in nature. In this way, Leg One of the conflation was substantially in place during Greek antiquity.

Though the existence of gender transitivity sometimes prompts modern Euro-Americans to mistake the Greeks as sexually liberated hedonists, Greek culture, like Euro-American societies, intensely regulated all human expressions of sexual desire. …

2. The Sexualization of Social Regulation

Several sex-based antinomies managed Greek socio-sexual relations, and thus sexualized the social regulation of Greek life. These antinomies jointly constituted a regulatory apparatus similar to the conflation. They also constitute the active/passive paradigm that has defined and delimited social and sexual relations since its inception.

a. The Socio-Sexual Antinomies

The first antinomy was male/female, which held “male” to be superior and which, as elaborated through the other antinomies, erected the sex-based gender lines that permeated Greek socio-sexual relations. The second antinomy was moderation/excess, which exalted the male-identified virtues of self-control and constraint and disdained the female-identified vices of volatility, voraciousness, and wantonness. The third antinomy was public/private, which mandated expansive, active pursuits for males and cloistered, submissive duties for females. The fourth antinomy was honor/shame, which governed reputational interests and marshalled social sanctions to pull males into the culture’s center and to push women out to its margins, both socially and sexually. This fourth antinomy thereby cemented the sex/gender boundaries of the other antinomies.

b. The Active/Passive Paradigm

As a set, these antinomies delineated the acceptable universe of “correct” social and sexual expression. “Male” was viewed as socially and sexually “active”—the strong, public, self-willed master of the universe; in contrast, “female” was constructed as “passive”—the male’s weak, volatile companion, whom he managed and protected for the benefit of all. These antinomies thus forged the essential dichotomies of Greek (and Euro-American) sex/gender ideology: the active/good/male versus passive/bad/female paradigm. The ideals and imperatives woven throughout these active/passive socio-sexual antinomies were buttressed through the bestowal of “honor” on those who conformed and the imposition of “shame” on those who transgressed. The “nexus of honor, shame, and sexuality” was thus a key means of keeping this active/passive paradigm operational.

The design and operation of the active/passive ideals projected male dominance in classical Greek culture. Consequently, Greek society concentrated socio-sexual prerogatives in the elite, adult citizen males, and consigned passive (“female”) socio-sexual roles to the subordinated classes of society: slaves, non-citizens, women, and youths, regardless of their sex. As a result, the Greek sex/gender system harnessed sexual desire as a paramount means of perpetuating the configuration of androsexist male/female sex/gender power hierarchies.

Greek regulation of social life in general, and sexual relations in particular, was instrumental because it used sex, gender, and sexuality to reinforce class-based and sex-based power distributions: Greek approval for expressions of sexual desire was limited to those that specifically reified social, economic, and political boundaries based on the androsexist divisions encapsulated in the antinomies. Sexual desire thus became a commodity used more for the re-production of the society than for the reproduction of the species. The proto-conflationary Greek system thereby established androsexism as its dominant sex/gender ideology, and used it to enforce compliance with its mandates regarding identity, desire, and community.

c. Family, Intimacy, and Patriarchy

One crucial respect in which Greek sex/gender arrangements differed from Euro-American socio-sexual relations concerned the family: Under the Greek system, the family was not the tight-knit group depicted in the modern Euro-American ideal of the “companionate” or “nuclear” family. The Euro-American family ideal centers around a cross-sex coupling based on sexual intimacy and affectional bonding. Among the Greeks, however, cross-sex conjugal relations were not the center either of love or lust. Demosthenes, for instance, supposedly remarked that Greek adult males “have… hetairai (courtesans) for [their] pleasure, concubines for [their] daily needs, and wives to give [them] legitimate children and look after the housekeeping.” Fulfilling individual joys, dreams and desires was not the goal of this functional conception of Greek marriage.

Further, the household unit was not the main crucible for the socialization of the future citizens it produced. Plutarch, for example, summarized a citizen boy’s upbringing by observing that “the nurse rules the infant, the teacher the schoolboy, the gymnasiarch the athlete, [and] his lover the youth.” The family household, or oikos, thus operated more like a small consortium or enterprise: Each member performed roles and functions that provided material supports and comforts, but not necessarily emotional, sexual, or educational sustenance. …

…

[northernsamurai]

Hello everyone, my name is Arawyn, and I am a male reader fiction writer. I mostly write one-shots for my own entertainment, but i do take requests as well.

For those that ever feel like wanting to request, here are the following anime’s and characters I will write for:

»Bnha/Mha

- Bakugou Katsuki

- Todoroki Shoto

- Midoriya Izuku

- Kirishima Eijiro

- Aizawa Shōta

- Himiko Toga

- Kayami Nemuri

- Todoroki Touya

- Shigaraki Tomura

»Seraph of the End

- Yuichiro Hyakya

- Mikaela Hyakya

- Saotome Yoichi

- Hiragi Shinoa

- Bathory Ferid

- Ichinose Guren

»Haikyuu

- Hajime Iwaizumi

- Kageyama Tobio

- Sugawara Koshi

- Sawamura Daichi

- Tanaka Ryuu

- Shimizu Kioko

- Oikawa Tōru

- Akashi Keiji

- Bokuto Koutaro

- Tetsuro Kuroo

- Kozume Kenma

- Haiba Lev

- Morisuke Yaku

»Demon Slayer

- Tomioka Giyu

- Kocho Shinobu

- Kanroji Mitsuri

- Rengoku Kyojuro

- Himejima Gyomei

- Shinazugawa Sanemi

- Obanai Iguro

- Uzui Tengen

- Tsugikuni Michikatsu

- Tsugikuni Yoriichi

- Kibutsuji Muzan

- Hakuji

- Doma

- Ume

- Gyotaro

- Kaigaku

»Jujutsu Kaisen

- Satoru Gojo

- Itadori Yuuji

- Sukuna Ryomen

- Suguru Geto

- Fushiguro Megumi

- Kugisaki Nobara

»Genshin Impact

- Ragnvindr Diluc

- Zhongli

- Xiao

- Wanderer

- Tighnari

- Cyno

- Gorou

- Thoma

- Kamisato Ayato

- Kamisato Ayaka

- Lumine

- Aether

- Raiden Ei

- Yae Miko

- Jean

- Al Haitham

- Kaveh

- Beidou

- Kaedehara Kazuha

- Ningguang

- Arataki Itto

- Ajax/Childe/Tartaglia

- Alberich Kaeya

»Seven Deadly Sins

- Ban

- Diane

- Simon

- Gillthunder

- King

- Arthur

- Merlin

»Heaven Official’s Blessing

- Xian Le

- Nan Feng

- Fu Yao

If there are any other anime’s I watch throughout the year, I’ll write them down, as well as new characters!

<Please keep in mind>

I am a High schooler and have to study for exams and projects

Don’t rush me, or expect me to post something everyday

If you potentially request, please include the anime, character, an AU if you want one, a plot if you want a specific one, and if it’s either Fluff/Angst. [Will only write NSFW content if I’m comfortable with it]

If you spam, criticize, or being generally rude, you will be blocked. If it comes to insults and talks which include sexism and racism, you will be reported.

I would love to wish you all a wonderful 2023, and may your efforts be worth it.

[FYI: if you're gonna follow me eventually, please don't be a blank account. I won't be able to see if you're a NSFW bot or not. Thank you!]

[it can even be a blank blog; just anything to prove you're a real person]

[musicverse11]

How Jasmine Sandlas Revolutionized Punjabi Music for a Global Audience

Jasmine Sandlas, often referred to as the “Gulabi Queen,” is a name that resonates not just in the Punjabi music industry but across global music platforms. With her bold and fearless voice, she has become a trailblazer for indie artists aspiring to carve out their unique identities. Known for her ability to blend traditional Punjabi music with modern beats, Jasmine Sandlas has built a career rooted in authenticity, resilience, and innovation. Her journey from being an aspiring singer to becoming an international icon offers invaluable lessons for independent artists navigating a competitive landscape.

The Humble Beginnings of a Star

Jasmine Sandlas’s story begins in Jalandhar, Punjab, where her passion for music blossomed during her early years. Influenced by the vibrant cultural tapestry of Punjab, she drew inspiration from folk songs and the sounds of her hometown. At the age of 13, her family moved to California, where Jasmine was introduced to new genres like hip-hop and R&B. This cultural fusion became the foundation of her unique musical style.

Despite her undeniable talent, Jasmine faced challenges early in her career. As an immigrant and a woman in the competitive music industry, she had to break stereotypes and defy expectations. Her persistence paid off in 2008 when her debut song, Muskan, gained immense popularity and marked her entry into the Punjabi music scene. This was just the beginning of what would become a groundbreaking career.

Defining Her Style: A Blend of Tradition and Modernity

Jasmine Sandlas’s music is a reflection of her identity — rooted in Punjabi tradition yet versatile enough to appeal to a global audience. Her songs often carry themes of love, heartbreak, empowerment, and resilience, all delivered in her signature sultry voice. Tracks like Sip Sip and Punjabi Mutiyaran showcase her ability to blend high-energy beats with meaningful lyrics, making her a favorite among both traditional and modern music enthusiasts.

What sets Jasmine apart is her fearlessness in experimenting with genres. From Punjabi folk to Bollywood chart-toppers like Yaar Na Miley, she has mastered the art of crossing boundaries while staying true to her roots. This versatility has not only broadened her appeal but also paved the way for other indie artists to think beyond conventional genres.

The Challenges of Being an Independent Artist

While Jasmine Sandlas’s success may seem seamless, it has been far from easy. As an independent artist, she faced financial and logistical hurdles that come with producing music without the backing of a major record label. From funding her projects to managing promotions, Jasmine had to wear multiple hats to keep her career afloat.

Additionally, being a woman in a male-dominated industry came with its own set of challenges. Jasmine has spoken openly about the sexism and stereotypes she encountered, but instead of being deterred, she used these experiences as fuel for her creative journey. Her song Punjabi Mutiyaran is a direct response to these struggles, serving as an anthem of empowerment for women everywhere.

Connecting with Fans Through Authenticity

One of the key factors behind Jasmine Sandlas’s enduring popularity is her authenticity. Whether it’s her raw lyrics, her candid interviews, or her unfiltered social media posts, Jasmine remains unapologetically herself. Fans connect with her not just because of her music but because she represents the struggles, aspirations, and emotions of everyday people.

Jasmine frequently interacts with her fans on platforms like Instagram and YouTube, where she shares snippets of her personal life, behind-the-scenes moments, and motivational messages. This engagement has fostered a loyal fanbase that supports her unconditionally, proving that authenticity is a powerful tool for building lasting connections.

Lessons for Aspiring Indie Artists

Jasmine Sandlas’s journey is a masterclass in perseverance and innovation for indie artists. Here are some key takeaways from her career:

Stay Authentic: Jasmine’s success stems from her ability to remain true to her roots while evolving with the times.

Embrace Versatility: Experimenting with different genres and styles can help expand your reach.

Engage Your Audience: Building a personal connection with your fans can turn them into lifelong supporters.

Be Resilient: Challenges are inevitable, but resilience and self-belief can help you overcome them.

Leverage Digital Platforms: Jasmine’s presence on Spotify, YouTube, and Instagram has been instrumental in her global reach.

These lessons are not just applicable to musicians but to anyone striving to make their mark in a competitive field.

Impact on the Punjabi Music Industry

Jasmine Sandlas has not only carved out her own space but also elevated the Punjabi music industry on a global stage. By collaborating with international artists and incorporating diverse influences into her music, she has demonstrated the universal appeal of Punjabi culture. Her success has inspired countless young artists to pursue their dreams, proving that regional music can have global resonance.

Conclusion

Jasmine Sandlas story is a testament to the power of authenticity, perseverance, and creativity. From her humble beginnings in Punjab to her meteoric rise as an international music icon, she has consistently broken barriers and redefined what it means to be an indie artist. For aspiring musicians, her journey is a source of inspiration and a blueprint for success.

[drabblegeek]

Dismantling the Everything

My original thought was to title this post “Dismantling the Patriarchy,” but let’s all be honest: we need to dismantle everything and just start over. Yes, I’m being hyperbolic and extreme, but I’m sometime just tired. I recently read the heavy anthology Everyday Sexism by Laura Bates, after her online project by the same name. While the book was originally published in 2014, there were times…

[monriatitans]

Finished a Book! Mini-Review

"Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How It Affects Us All" by Laura Bates

Damn.

This took me a while to finish. The subject matter was tough to get through, as to be expected. The book contained ACTUAL abusive messages posted online. They were horrific.

I finished the book feeling a bit numb. I went to bed after I finished since it was after midnight. Afterward, one quote stuck out:

"Men like Matt McGorry, Patrick Stewart, Barack Obama, David Schwimmer, and many more continue to use their personal platforms to speak, write, and sing about the problem with prescriptive masculinity, exploring nuanced and new ways to examine being a man. We need the bulk of this work to come from men. If masculinity is the problem, it is men who must invent and drive new forms of manhood. The one thing everyone seems to agree on is that it is fairly fruitless for feminists to be seen to be telling boys the right way to be a man. That doesn't mean that the project of reforming masculinity has failed. It means that, as with so much of the heavy lifting of the pursuit of equality in our society, the hard work has been foisted on the wrong people."

And women need to recognize the part we play in all of this; we are raising these men. This shit starts at home.

We need to be raising our boys to be respectful, not raising our girls to shrink themselves when they're disrespected.

Women need to be loud.

Excellent book. 10/10

—

LAURA BATES is the founder of the Everyday Sexism Project, a crowdsourced collection of stories from women around the world about their experiences with gender equality. Laura has received the British Empire Metal in the Queen's Birthday Honours, the WMC Digital Media Award from the Women's Media Center, and the Georgina Henry prize; has been named in the BBC Woman's Hour Power List Game Changers; and has won Cosmopolitan's Ultimate Woman of the Year Award. She was also named in CNN's 10 Visionary Women List. Follow her efforts on Twitter @everydaysexism.

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I finished a book on The Neverending Reading List! See the entire list here! Interested in the book? Snag it real quick here! Like what you see and want to know when there's more? Click here to subscribe for updates and/or hit the Follow button! Enjoy what I do? Please consider supporting via Buy Me a Coffee! To provide educational material and fun reads, I created a bookshop called the Rendezvous Point (RP)! Check it out here! For more about me, click here! Watch me on Twitch, YouTube, Rumble, and Odysee!

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