#everybody's looking for something [dream sequence]

[jellie-tamer]

(Scar's dreams shift slightly. Rather than nightmare to nightmare, danger to danger, he's just... Floating.)

(He floats in a lightless void. There's warmth, subtle and... Too cold to be a person, or at least not a living one, but it's there. The feeling of something... Comforting next to him. He wants to reach for whatever it is but he can't.)

(At least it's better than before)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - So Many GREAT Kisses!

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

(Please notice I am now using 6 dots in all ellipses because according to Taiwanese BL that's how we queers roll. Who am I to argue?)

Sept 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - A most excellent glow up. And it’s still a great show. And I cannot wait to see the many different faces of War. Bring on the Leverage of One action-packed mess. I'm waiting.  

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 9 of 12 - I’m gonna say this because it drives me crazy. Why are boys in BL, when out and about the countryside, always dressed inappropriately for Thailand? If it’s hot, takeoff your damn jacket. I don’t mean to be crass or crazy or whatever. But don’t wear a jacket when it’s 90° with 90% humidity. In Thailand, jackets are for malls. Meanwhile, I’m an extrovert and that still seemed like an exhausting trip. Although, I suppose they didn’t show all the drive time in the van, when everyone is asleep.

Meanwhile, why are the sides so frustrating in this show? Authentic friends-to-lovers is always a slog. Finally a kiss! And a decent one.

New character? Aw! Hi Yu!!!! Gosh Putter is so cute.

Where were we? Oh yes, Beer is now heartbroken. Always the great fear in F2L that the friendship will be destroyed as a result. And it’s a decent fear. 

On a completely different note, I cannot help but wonder when somebody’s chue len is Beer, if that is because beer was involved in their conception. Like, it’s the name you give your "oops baby" from that drunken night at the club. Don’t mind me. I’m just over here in the corner being crass.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - That was one of the cutest wake up sequences ever depicted. Utterly adorable. And now he’s blind again? Oh my God this is such a soap opera, I can’t even. Meanwhile, wicked ice prince finally made his move. Gah! Why aren’t we getting more of this couple? I always love the sides best with this production house.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - I love a hard fraught game of badminton. Even though we actually didn’t see play. YoIng claiming was so cute!!! And their shower kiss was v hot. Yay little show! Also cute use of the punishment trope!

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - The weight upon the shoulders of our idiot good guy kidnapper continues to pile up. So does the affection. The dude playing Q has sanpaku eyes. Cool. He’s not a particularly good actor though. Rough because everyone around him is giving their very best.

The problem is. I'm noticing. I shouldn't be noticing all the talent trying so hard. That usually means there is something wrong with the story, or there was something wrong on the set.

I don't know what to say at this juncture except I have the sinking suspicion this might not actually be a good show. (Covers head and cowers. Don't hate me.) I'd loved to be proved wrong, but my faith is GMMTV is only about 50% these days. And it probably should be lower.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 6 of 10 - I was so confused by how we suddenly got on a trip together, that I went back and re-watched the previous installment. And it still isn’t explained. So I have no idea why our leads are on a trip but apparently that’s the next trope to hit. I also have no idea how they're suddenly boyfriends. I’m just generally confused by this episode. It’s like an alt reality. We skipped over all of the stuff where they actually got into a relationship. In general I wasn’t wild about this episode.

The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 12fin - The most realistic thing about this show is that everybody is everybody else’s ex on any given set. I feel that in my bones. Or do I mean boner?

Frankly, both actors look better after a glow up and I guess pretending to be more their actual ages suits them? Considering what was actually done to invoke youth (a lot of the shine and gloss) aging them was an anti-glow up. A great mattification? Well...... this was a somewhat lackluster finale. (Thank you, thank you, the pun was unplanned. It's a gift.)

I don’t know. I guess I wanted to see Jane suffer? Work HARD to get the kid he abandoned back? I would’ve liked to have seen Ryan a little bit more competent and capable and his job. Maybe dating someone else. But I also do not want any more episodes. This was more than enough. So instead no separation, just boyfriends and a montage of their lives together, getting new and better jobs, moving in together, being supportive and sweet, etc... LOOK: It’s never a good sign when I immediately want to rewrite the show that I just saw.

In conclusion:

A story about a group of interns at a commercial video production company. While I genuinely love OffGun, I’m not convinced this was a good vehicle for them. Is it terrible for me to say, I miss their PickRome days? I don’t think they’ve ever had rolls that suited them better. Still, theirs was the best storyline in this ensemble piece masquerading as a BL, although they still fumbled the ending. Thus, I enjoyed about a 1/3 of it as much as possible, and 2/3 of it less than conceivable. 7/10 and I seriously considered dropping it to a 6/10 so don't push me.

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 15 - Not gonna lie I was very skeptical. But I like it fine. Better than I expected because it’s been changed just enough. But it does need to stay changed. I don’t know what I’m trying to articulate here but…... I guess we’ll see.

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 5 - It’s cute in a weird disjointed way. I’m enjoying it enough, I guess. I do like how forthright and direct Kla is. 

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Ah. Bully romance. My old frenemy. Of course making this office based means +10 for workplace harassment. Well well well. This will be red flag party town I see. How VERY old school yaoi. It’s all very Cdrama CEO = dudes in suits walking on parquet (minus all the gay sex of course.) The jumping around between times and unfinished scenes is very strange. Is this Starhunter chaos only applied to a timeline?

Imma say this so they hear it at the back. YOU HAVE TO CHANGE THE HAIR. If you do time jumps: change. the. hair. It's the easiest and best clue if you aren't going to apply a filter or other cinematography tricks. JUST CHANGE THE DAMN HAIR STYLE.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - And now we all start using six dots in our……? A new coded way to indicate that one is into BL? I did think we were in a slight mire with ep 9, too much teacher filler. Not enough time spent with our boys. Meanwhile, sports day. Pouty Baby utilizing the power of Ge, in front of all of the classmates who do not realize how hard he is flirting and activating babygirl = one of the greatest things ever to happen on my screen. Essentially this was a version of the claiming trope, only nobody knew it but the two of them. Fucking genius. Yes, I watched it multiple times. Then babygirl is injured, the carrying and the flirting!!!! Gah!

I don’t mean to trivialize the show, but this is me and I can trivialize everything even something as brilliant as this. But that conversation about history at the beginning of ep 10...... Was that about topping and bottoming? Because it sure seemed that way.

And then...... Possibly the best only one bed trope twist ever?

This show is so fucking amazing.

And I am so worried about the end.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 7 of 10 - I love the kinkyness of our baby boy’s fantasy. Where he is the gift and his boyfriend is in uniform. Very nice. Thank you Japan. Never one to let kinky dogs lie. Also, the premise continues: one half thinks that they are already boyfriends and acts like it, and the other half is still trying to become a boyfriend. It’s absurd in that way that only Japanese miscommunication extraordinaire can be absurd. Also could Kyosuke be any more under his boy’s thumb? 

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 1-2 of 10 eps - Shiba is a top lawyer, angular aggressive bespectacled workaholic cat-type (Kitten? Babygirl? Tsundere? Some unholy combination of all 3?) I am reminded I should be more considerate of my potted plants. OMG the teasing and the little tongue sticking out. Haruto is such a flirt. I love this dynamic. What fun! Manic pixie dream boy but MAKE HIM EVIL! Or very high? Or a grifter? I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. But I’m enjoying it. It’s very...... very

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 7 of 12 - Oh! Good kiss. Smart to have the younger character initiate. I also like that he put a stop to it and then went and had a long conversation with a friend about it. Cautious boy. Also shows how in control of the situation Sea is becoming. It works for this BL since he has the stronger personality. I don't care what the characters say, this is about Sea becoming a rock for Neil.

But the secondary couple is actually winning this show. I want so much more of them. 

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 8fin - I’m not sure that blackmailing and entrapment, especially of your ex, necessarily justifies cheating. Plus I never like it when it’s gays against gays. But what did I expect from this show? This whole series was basically Korea’s version of messy gay. If you liked Only Friends you’ll probably enjoy this bullshit. And they were quite pretty. I, however, am monumentally displeased. 4/10 FATALLY FLAWED but still, basically, BL, however…... do we want to support this kind of behavior?

KOREA PLEASE GIVE US A NEW PROPER BL!! WHERE ARE YOU? WE ARE SAD AND LOST WITHOUT YOU.

It's like now they discovered boys can kiss they can't be happy.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL and it's exactly as expected. I do not like it at all. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. DNF 

In case you missed it

I FINISHED Meet You at the Blossom (China). I ate crow, binged the fucker, and live blogged the experience. I enjoyed it a lot and got quite witty (I think) there are also puns (warning). But if you don't wanna slog though it, here are my final thoughts:

This was undeniably a wuxia and most definitely a BL. Evil stunning princely Cheekbones meets and falls in love with the bisexual disaster Dimples of his dreams. There’s a lot of floaty fighting, tangled plot, and overworked emotions. From start to finish it is exactly as it claims to be, including more than the expected amount of sexual claiming (dubious conscent to the point of rape). I’m not wild about the wuxia genre, but I will tell you what I do like: Very pretty men in flowing robes + eye makeup + hair ribbons wafting about stabbing and kissing each other plus ridiculous soap opera machinations. I also like cheekbones and dimples. AND I love a stupid gay sleeve, okay? There was also truly epic levels of stink-eye, and that too is to be lauded. This show left me grinning like crazy. Was it great? Not really, but it was a great experience and I enjoyed it immensely. 8/10

4 Minutes (Gaga) Ended - Spies reported in to say the ending was not-exactly-unhappy and mostly lackluster. I'm torn over whether to watch. My natural disinclination to binge, meets my dissatisfaction with wishy-washy, is going up against my love of high heat and pretty men. Oh the age old struggle between art and lust.

Mitsuya-sensei no keimakutekina ezuke finished and it’s reported to be solid. Age gap treated with respect. I'm curious, so I'll check it out if I can get hold of non-G-drive subs.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming Sept 2024:

9/28 Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ?? eps - oh I don't know just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I love love love this execution of the punishment trope. What's Ai going to do to you, Yu? Ride you to death?

I Saw You in My Dream indeed.

Sigh. This show. (Addicted Heroin)

All praise one of BL's best-in-show glow-ups. Nicely done, Jack.

James, on the other hand. Never needs a glow-up. Still the prettiest. Has been since Oxygen. (Battle of the Writers)

He's playing the role of Saint in this show, thank you very much. Speaking of which, wouldn’t that be just the most gorgeous pairing in the entire universe? Saint and James? I’ll be in my bunk. 

Taiwan giving us a boop! Reminds me of Be Loved In House I Do, right up there with TharnType as chronic boopers.

Why is he SO GOOD in this show?

All Frist Note.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[neighbourscat]

𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄 , nicholas alexander chavez

MY BOOGIE SHOES, JUST TO BOOGIE WITH YOU.

𓈒  ˙ ꪆৎ   ꣹  ۫  𖨂 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 . .. . screen actor!nicholas c. X stage actress!black!fem!reader.

+ synopsis. dancing around your new york apartment with your boyfriend, nicholas chavez, after a tiring final show.

+ cw. mature language & suggestive stage dancing … but none, really (: just smiles, dancing, and good music!

+ nali’s notes; i love 70s-80s music soooo much. dreaming of a cold autumn / christmas fic in this tiny nyc apartment. all the short stories that’ll probably come from this nyc apartment, like a little tv show. the neighbours would have their own backstories & cute interactions. omg should i do that???? a nyc apartment series, kind of like friends or martin??? wordcount :: 2.1k+

+ to be played: dancing in the dark, bruce springsteen. || alternative: slow dancing in the dark, joji. + everybody wants to rule the world, tears for fears.

MY BOOGIE SHOES, JUST TO BOOGIE WITH YOU.

he moved his left foot backward in a smooth motion, sliding across the slick, slightly scoffed, pine theatre stage. two blue overhead spotlights had shone down onto him, highlighting and allowing the golden sequins along his black-costume pants to sparkle and glimmer. the sharp, metal heels of his four-taps no longer producing sound . .. . the active trumpet-players, acoustic guitarists, and drummers eased and eased their instruments into a low twinkle —

— the audience knew what time it was. another character was about to be introduced. in the orchestra pit, the conductor quickly switched her attention to the violinists and flute-players, baton up in the air and readied for the new entrance. the elder english woman gave the group a small cue, flicking her wrist in beat: 1, 2, 3, 4. and as the violins, violas and cellos came in quiet and steady . .. . the male dancer at the far end of the stage reached up and slowly removed the costume fedora from his neatly styled hair, staring over to his stage left.

your beautiful, brilliant and glittery gold mary-jane style tap shoes clicked as you gracefully entered from stage left — the gold fringes of your body-con mini dress flapped and swung every which way as you rolled your costume glove over your right hand, the music coming from the violins and flute-players transforming into something hot and seductive.

your glove snug — the trumpets have returned, this time with the trombones and horns, easy and gentle — with what looked to be absolutely effortless, your body control impeccable, you swayed toward your dance partner. and once as close as rehearsed, you slid your left foot backward; lining yourself up with your partner, you raised your arms neatly, fingers almost wiggling.

your partner snaked an arm around your waist, his opposite hand sensually caressing the under side of your arm — his fingers tightened on your ribs. you felt his plump lips brush against the soft skin of your neck, you don’t hold back a mini smile. and after a thirty-second sleek, clean sequence of sneaky smirks, lustful eyes, gyrating hips, and chasing each other’s feet with mirroring steps on beat — you and your partner stand center stage; he had just spun you out and away and reeled you back in, unable to give you up. you’re overlooking the hungry crowd, toe to toe, hips pressed into each other’s . .. .

the conductor slowly lifted her baton, the orchestra picking up their pace just a bit . .. . more dancers began to take the stage, ten men on one end and ten women on the other, all styled to absolute perfection — you ripped away from your partner, his hand lingering in the air as you hurry toward the women. you strike a pose and the women behind you follow suite, just as clean and precise. the men chuckle amongst themselves, lips moving but nothing being said. your partner took his place in front of the men, eyeing you down.

the blue spotlights went out and back in on beat; this time colored red. the percussion picking up intensity . .. . the atmosphere no longer showcasing love and attraction, but lust and obsession — the red spotlights darkened and blinked in and out powerfully, percussion played fast and with high energy, the string and horn instruments carried out in unison, background voices sounding . .. .

nicholas chavez, anxiously chewing at the skin of his fingers, watched as the other casted dancers performed with everything they had — his eyes working even harder to follow you around. he stopped chewing at his skin then, trying to focus his eyes on you; he couldn’t do the two at the same time. different variations of gold leotards and ruffled dresses and flown pantsuits, the maracas, xylophone — so much was happening at once. portraying chaos perfectly.

every time he found you, he had lost you just as quick. nicholas shifted in the cushioned chair a bit, mindful of the young woman sitting behind him — the saxophones and trumpets intensified, the gold-clad dancers continued shuffling and leaping up and down and around the large pine stage, metal heels touching down with the beats.

the entire stage was bathed in deep, sultry red light, casting long, dramatic shadows over each dancer — the red hue seemed to pulse with the rhythm of the music, bodies moved with precision and purpose, every step choreographed to build toward the crescendo of the performance. the audience watched in awe — nicholas’ eyes never leaving your amazing form — the dancers' figures sharp and striking against the glowing backdrop.

each dancer’s silhouette was satiny, their limbs cutting through the air like blades as they glided to their spots. and as the music swelled, the dancers reached their final positions, holding their forms in an intense, powerful tableau. their bodies arched and poised, chins tilted upwards with defiance, hands spread in graceful curves or clutched at their hips in dominance. the red light drenching them, casting their figures into stark, dramatic silhouettes — elegant and imposing, yet full of tension.

their shadows stretched behind them, larger-than-life, as if their presence demanded more than the stage could contain. the audience held its breath, the stillness of the final pose amplifying the raw energy. it was a picture of controlled power, desire, and neat mess.

the world beyond the stage faded, and all that was left were the figures frozen in that moment — red and black, light and shadow — a vision of drama and allure, like something out of a fevered dream. then, as the final note lingered in the air, the curtain slowly began to close up.

you were curled up on the couch, still basking in the soft afterglow of the evening. your legs draped over nicholas’ lap, the warmth from his hand gently tracing heart-shape patterns on your ankle. the exhaustion from your final show was settling in, but being home with him — no more hotels, no more cast gatherings, no more living through an intense schedule; eight shows a week — felt like the perfect ending to an overwhelming night.

nicholas shifted beneath you, the faintest grin pulling at his lips. “you know .. .” he hummed casually, “.. . i’ve been thinking.” that was never good. you respond with a low groan, rubbing your tired eyes, “no. i’m not doin’ it.”

“can i-i’ve gotta get it out first before you tell me ‘no’,” he said, nudging your arm. “i don’t want a lot or anything .. y’know, crazy. i just want your help.”

you stopped rubbing your eyes, dropping your hand down into your lap. you gave a look that said: ‘go on’ and he did, giving your ankle a loving squeeze: “i want you to teach me how to dance.” he sounded serious, but you couldn’t exactly tell. you blinked, face and gaze blank and revealing nothing. you turned back to the television, an early episode of glee rolling.

nicholas stood up then, gently moving your legs off of his lap. he reached out his hand toward you. you had performed so beautifully with your dance partner, nicholas wanted to move with you the same. “nicholas .. .” you stared at his outstretched hand, then back up at him, “sit back down. seriously.”

“come’on.” his brown eyes soft but determined. “just a little bit. five minutes, hmm?” he was hopeful, still waiting for you. “i’ll take anything. anythin’ i can get, okay? i’ll be grateful for whatever.” you shook your head as an answer and laid back into the plush cushion, arms crossing over your chest. “nic . .. . you can’t dance,” you said in a simple, matter-of-fact voice — not trying to be harsh or mean, and nicholas didn’t take it as such.

he knew he couldn’t. “well, baby, that’s why i’m asking you to teach me.” you looked to his big hand; he made a gentle grabby motion twice, urging you — and back up your eyes went. “i can’t teach rhythm.” nicholas dropped his hand with a hoarse grumble. you sighed, feeling your body protesting the idea of getting up, but the way nicholas was still looking down at you, with that mix of earnestness and affection, made you give in. with a groan, you held out your hand — nicholas smiled wide and pulled you to your feet.

“five minutes.”

“all i need,” nicholas confirmed with a silly smile, dragging you over to the other side of the couch. your shared apartment wasn’t spacious, for no apartment was this side of queens, new york. your deep-grey tabby cat, ruby; the world’s most mischievous kitty, climbed back in through the open window and landed on her feet, gracefully. after an afternoon of racing up and down the fire-escape and most of the block ( ruby, though mischievous, was a friendly animal ), she was ready to be in her bed.

her bed; nicholas’ pillow.

“okay, so what’s first?” nicholas clapped his hands together, anticipating the next five minutes. “music,” you said, reaching down for your phone in between the couch cushions. “oh, how about from your show? i really love the gold one, what’s that song’s name?” he went over and picked up the musical’s playbill, flipping through the first couple of pages, “that song .. when you come out for the first time and look hot?” you almost laugh, unlocking your phone and scrolling through your music. “i’m not teachin’ you that, nic.”

“look, baby, if you’re worried about there not being enough room, let’s not worry, we can move this couch around some .. . throw the cat back outside-“ you stopped him right there, “or you can get out?” nicholas laughed at that, apologizing softly, coming up behind you. his hands found your waist and his chin dug into the skin of your shoulder, watching as your finger scrolled and scrolled. your finger touched down then, the bluetooth speaker in the corner coming to life immediately.

it started off as slow, lazy dancing in the living room to random musical theatre soundtracks . .. . the moonlight streaming through the large open windows, casting cool white rays over the hardwood floors — but quickly turned into a party.

you slid in from the hall opening, wearing oversized socks, loose basketball shorts, and a baggy football jersey; from nicholas’ side of the closet, your body rocking to the rhythm. you’re holding a wooden spoon, it’s your imaginary microphone, dramatically lip-syncing to bruce springsteen’s dancing in the dark, your expression playful and exaggerated.

nicholas was in the kitchen, a spatula in his hands and dragging his fingers along the handle as if it were an electric guitar, wearing a goofy grin. he’s wearing fuzzy socks, slipping across the floor, attempting to match your moves, his brown hair messy, his shirt half-tucked — this impromptu dance-off felt as though it had been going on for hours. nicholas moved to you, your energy completely in sync, lost in the fun of the moment.

you twirled away, laughing as you swung around the kitchen island, your socks giving you just the right amount of glide across the floor. you threw a hand up, pointing at nicholas like a pop star mid-performance, mouthing bruce springsteen’s lyrics. nicholas laughed, feigning a swoon, then slid back toward you, pulling you into a silly two-step.

and now you’re in the hallway again, where you’re at his side, arm wrapped around him, shuffling in time with the beat. you and nicholas sing together now, the music barely audible over your screaming voices, off-key but full of love.

you pushed nicholas away with a playful shove — he stumbled dramatically and recovered in seconds, lip-syncing passionately. as passionate as before. maybe even more so.

you end up in the living room, this time nicholas was spinning you around — as you twirl and spin with your boyfriend, the music grew louder. your body moved with his perfectly, not with precision or control, but with the kind of ease that comes from knowing each other so well. nicholas pulled you in close, your face just inches from his . .. . he’s grinning down at you like a kid, heart racing and thrashing cutely.

bruce springsteen faded smoothly into tears for fears — nicholas started his air guitar again and you bounced toward the kitchen, grabbing your wooden spoon again. braids flipped over one shoulder, you lifted yourself up onto the island in time for the first verse of everybody wants to rule the world. swinging your dangling feet and rocking your head side to side to the drums, you sang into the spoon.

and by the instrumental break, you and nicholas are skating through the hall, singing and dancing with reckless abandon, whirling and dipping, in your own little world. you’re breathless, your face flushed with laughter — watching nicholas overdo the solo guitar outro from where you sat on the couch’s armrest. he dropped onto his knees and rolled onto his back, his feet kicking into the air.

and as the strumming died, you collapsed back onto the couch in a heap, panting and drinking from nicholas’ cold bottle of pepsi. you and nicholas both jumped up startled hearing the grating pound of fists at the front door — ruby sprung from where she laid and ran around hysterically, you and nicholas scrambled to get up; you rushed behind the couch to quickly turn the blasting speaker down and he went to the front door. nicholas was squinting through the peephole, “fuck-it’s minnie .. .” ms. minnie from two doors down hated loud noises.

but she hated the young people scattered along the fourth floor even more.

[mysteriousl0ser]

FUCK IT, TADC EP 2 THOUGHTS MAJOR SPOILERS!! BE WARNED

LETS GO!! Pomni is still pretty screwed up over her first day here, I mean this is all fresh and new to her so like DUH. everyone else here is somewhat or entirely adjusted and kind of just cope with the fact that theyre here I dont think pomni has really processed how long theyve been here?? In the pilot she seems SO bothered by how okay they are with this and willingness to do caines fuckass adventures

i dont blame her, anywho pomni in her nightmare-induced state starts to abstract, she had to face an abstraction early on in her days here which like have to be pretty truamatizing (duh) and cried out to ANYONE, but where she called for help literally no one helped her “oh well” they though

Pomni doesn't feel like anybody else cares, shes the only one whos still going through an adjustment phase and freaking the fuck out while everyone else is just going along with the adventure, something she still thinks is kinda pointless and doesn't get why anybody would waste their time here doing when they COULD be looking for a way out, why is she the only one who seems to still be distressed here? To feel lost? At least from her perspective, it seems that way. Unfortunately, these people have already been here for a while.

Pomski then meets someone whos just like her, their whole reality was shattered and they don't belong anywhere, mirroring how pomni feels at the moment, even if she still has some sort of grip now vs when she first got here

And she finds comfort in that!!! Why is it that this NPC feels more real than the ACTUAL REAL PEOPLE trapped here with her??? Whatever the reason, its something to hold onto. Something to LATCH onto. Hes Real. or at least he feels real, and maybe she feels like she belongs with him because at least he knows the feeling, something shes not really felt w anyone else before

This comfort and solidarity she has with gumigoo is shortlived however as she gets brutally reminded that he wasnt real. The anchor she had vanished and there's quite literally nobody to catch her fall.

And i feel like ragatha trying to comfort her the way she did didnt help AT ALL. it was kinda a sore reminder that gumigoo is easily replaceable, and GOD thats so frustrating?? This thing felt so real to her and nobody seems to care that he just vanished!! If they could be so apathetic to this whos to say they wont just treat her demise just the same as she thought they would???

But then something important happens. They have a funeral for Kaufmo, someone whos been established to be their friend way before Pomni ever came here. And maybe it didn't ever settle in before that kaufmo was a real person! Literally!! And he was real to them. Just like gumigoo though less directly they relate to being in pain and kind of in shock of losing someone who they cared about and who was a real person to care about to them AND LIKE YOU CAN SEE WHERE IT CLICKS IN HER FACIAL EXPRESSION HERE, THE CHANGE IN HER EYES AND THE WAY HER EXPRESSION LOSENS AT THIS IDK IT DRIVES ME CRAZY GOD THE ANIMATORS WENT OFF W THIS EP VS THE PILOT IM IM IM

anyways anyways They have their funeral service, theres quite literally no reason for anyone to just lie and go along with whatever bs caines got going on, this also quite literally has nothing to do with him. This is kind of their own little way of keeping some sort of human traditions and respect for the human persons that get stuck here because they care. HELL you can even see pomni feel a little guilty here when ragatha says that his funeral was disrupted cause she arrived here

anyways thats exactly it!! They fucking car!! This whole time pomni thought that they just didnt care and were kind of apathetic or downright patronizing her over all this and mocking her or whatnot, like in her dream sequence. But no, they all talk respectively about their memories and experiences with kaufmo, the things they shared together and the feelings they had. EVERYBODY was grieving. Ragatha who always tried to put on some cheerful and kind of irritating (to pomni at least) everythings fine facade (which also kind of feels less real to her at least i think so but i don't think she figured it to be a coping mechanism) to just straight up start crying and breaking up a bit, even mentioning how this does not ever get any easier and how shes had to deal with this plenty of times before.

Zooble the usually apathetic and kind of asshole who keeps to themselves and gives off i don't care energy and probably gave off the impression that they didn't care about anyone here and just treated the people stuck here as an unfortunate fact and nothing more actually being vulnerable and probably doing the same as ragatha talking about their memories with kaufmo

Kingers ALWAYS kind of zoned out or not really taking anything seriously and just being there completely lost in space, but here hes grounded, and even earlier in the episode when ragatha needed it most he remained grounded then too (tho pomni didnt see that i just wanted to mention it). Just like the others he grieves and lives in the unfortunate moment

more of the kinger being grounded when the thought counts

GANGLE- dude even if its for just a moment she smiles here despite having her tragedy mask and like her whole shtick is being of whatever mood or emotion her mask is allegedly wether she wants to or not, but no here shes more than just that, she smiles for a bit when reminiscing her moments with kaufmo only to go back into crying, and man shes always crying with her tragedy mask but its beyond as far as anyone can tell wether or not its really her or just because of her mask, but here? its really her, no matter what the mask on her face shows!! shes genuinely smiling despite having her comedy mask and shes genuinely crying which is very blatantly obviously different to the usual mask cry etc etc

heres something about all this, it hits pomni in a way. These people ARE real, and they care. They care about her, they have nothing else but eachother and THATS something to latch onto. Thats something to hold her down, even if they just met pomni

SPEAKING OF JUST MEETING POMNI she literally expressed how she didnt wanna just LEAVE gumigoo there by himself because she believes no one should just be left there

the circus peeps just met pomni and just like how she felt a real connection to gumigoo in this digital hell she feels a sort of connection with these people too. Theyre gonna have her back all the same, maybe she wont feel so out of place and alone. BONUS THING!! The literal only times she genuinely smiles is when she feels this real connection to what feels real to her and has a genuine and sincere moment with these people whether it be an npc or a trapped member. Idk it just means something to me how significant both these moments are tipped off with a genuine smile a REAL SMIE!! (id add pictures but tumblr has a 30 image limit) OH ALSO BONUS BONUS THING THE DIFFERENCE IN OUTRO MUSIC IS SO IS SO ITS SO the outro song for the pilot kinda feels so ethereal and out of the moment at least to me it kinda feels like it you're slipping through the cracks and just, existing within yourself as the rest of the world around you kind of shatters into glass or melts into water or something i dont think ANY of that made any sense but its loud and its blaring and its so out of reach in a way, mad disassociation vibes but the outro song for the 2nd ep is a lot quieter yet its right there, at first it starts really small, lonely even. trapped by yourself but as the music gets louder and more instruments join in on the song it kind of has a comforting feel? bittersweet? even? its grounding ina way which is much different from how the first one felt at least to me lmao and the comforting feel kinda only emphasizes what I was talking about earlier- the comfort in having that anchor of reality with having a real moment with these people and making that connection yk? and like as i was saying at first the song starts off with just one instrument, at the start of the episode pomni feels utter alone and out of place even if these people here with here are stuck in the same situation as her, together alone. but as the other instruments join. in it kinda uplifts the song a bit, its not one sole instrument anymore like how in the end pomni feels that connection with everyone else, not so alone anymore idk jackshit about music theory so this is entirely a feelies talk instead of like- music lore? so don't take anything i say as like- idk some professional speak im just a nerd nerding about silly digital fixations ANYWAYS THATS ALL FOR NOW I AVE MORE TO SAY BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH LOL if you actually read all the way down this far thank you for listening!!! i really really appreciate it :]

[worth-this-and-more]

I think Bree should go to gerogria

[spoilers for legendborn, bloodmarked, and oathbound excerpt, read at your own caution ;)]

okay imma be honest with you, i had to google where tf is Georgia. now according to the legend camlamn was in Cornwall, and Georgia is also in cornwall. now i can see your thought process on as to why you chose a place in that region, and i thought about that too yes but not very clearly so ig you will now see my thought process.

excalibur was left in that london museum, after that they are at erebus's house. so far it hasn't been mentioned where erebus lives, but the northern chapter is in that castle in georgia so ig that's where you say it but if the shadow king did leave briana there i mean wouldn't people of the northern chapter notice?? like they came to the southern chapter under the circumstances but not all of them are here, obviously at least a few would be staying there.

now assuming erebus's house was somewhere around georgia, the shadow king would still want to keep briana safe and not under the pure assumption of "they wont look for her in their house". and also, he had changed his face in front of nick, so that is another question because who tf did he look like to nick?? and would nick remember the face and try to find connections?? or would he end up at the dead end of this person's death.

and again there is the legend. shadow king would either love the place because arthur died there, and yk he is planning to kill bree so its only fitting she dies there (according to him obviously), but there are also chances that he does not want any obvious connections to trace back to him so he chooses some place entirely different as bree's permanent residence. or maybe erebus also has his house somewhere remote or unrelated yk like a safehouse.

overall there are chances bree is in georgia or broadly speaking at least in the europe part yk.

also;

i have a very random thought that bree is going to find the shadow king's crown or some relic of it because in the arthur's dream sequence we saw it was yk dying slowly because its caster was dead but lo and behold shadow king did not die he still exists, and there definitely is a shadow court as well so it is possible that he has a new crown?? that bree stumbles upon?? i am just projecting but i think its cool. and ofc that dagger on the cover, i am so so damn curious about it because it is on the cover it definitely has something to it

as everybody is saying, possibly there could be two povs?? but i mean i was thinking like three povs because yk storyline is split into three rn. 3/4th part would be bree ofc but like yeah a few pov chapters here and there. or if they do make it two povs i think it will either be nick or william as a reliable narrator (selwyn is quiet literally out of bounds rn so). since second case is more likely so yeah i don't think we will see a brelwyn reunion till like third or fourth part.

[ilovejosukehigashikata]

i'm late but i want to hear about your josuwife... 1, 2, 5, & 10!

my most-used emote on discord is this and my face is making a very close approximation of it right now

this post is very very long

1 what are the basics of your self insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.?

beni bunya! written like 文也紅, the kanji in her name could be very liberally interpreted as "is literature" so that's funny it's pretty much calling her fanfic... her name originally comes from bennie and the jets!

date of birth: august 11 1981! i picked this date because it's exactly 30 years before the day i first played okami lol... very significant date...

height: she's like 5'5, my height, but she's always in these goofy platform shoes, either go go boots or the ugliest hottest 2007 pink juicy couture flip flops you've ever seen, so she usually looks a little taller... also her stupid beehive adds like 5 inches to her height too she has to match josuke

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

she's not beating the childhood friends to lovers allegations but it's more like she was a wannabe manic pixie dream girl for 3 months to josuke in middle school, left to go to a prestigious culty school, and came back as the manager of japan's most successful joshi pro wrestler (who beni is pretty much the jobro to)

she didn't like morioh a whole lot since she grew up in america, louisiana specifically because it's really funny if britney spears and beni bunya were in the same area at one point, and her parents basically only uprooted her to this podunk japanese town because some random cousin died or something and her mom decided to make it everybody's problem

she came back against her will because post-the book josuke, during Some sort of very downplayed mental episode, decided to do something nice for the every bedridden oku and cheat at a sweepstakes to win him a date with fastlove the joshi pro wrestler (and also himself because holy shit that agent she's with is BENI BUNYA i remember her she had good taste)

and beni would only decide josuke is stlil a chill guy after seeing their best friends were two peas in a pod... fuku and oku don't get together though it's more a sibling relationship thing

5. does your self insert have any special powers or abilities?

laughs nervously in chronic overdesigner

so the answer changes depending on whether we're talking beni from 1997-2001 or 2001 onwards

when beni went to that weird school in nagasaki she found this cool old helmet with a decently helpful but also super paranoid dead pilot living in it, and her possession was pretty much what set a sequence of events in motion ending in the exposure of the entire faculty as stand users funded by their leader's make-gold-from-nothing-but-people-swearing-allegiance-to-you stand

also the whole building getting burned down and also the leader getting turned into a rabbit and shot by a hunter

ANYWAY until she was 20 beni had a 45 year old shifty weird has-been acrobatic pilot in her head

the idea is, he and his plane got turned into ghosts by stand power from a kid who was very important to the speedwagon foundation on a flight hastily arranged by joseph joestar because he figured his old pal was definitely still in 1970s form and not in a bojack horseman-esque downspiral of drugs and burned bridges

AFTER 20 (that's when she met joseph and joseph went "hey isn't that the guy who killed a major speedwagon foundation kid which i blamed myself for this whole time" and she threw pilot at him like an animal in distress might throw its babies) she starts manifesting the stand she was Supposed to have for a while, it's called capsule and where do i even start??

it's a mostly autonomous ipod-panther looking stand that runs around learning and documenting what makes people happy, very support-oriented, about as physically powerful as a squeaky toy

the pawprints it leaves let beni remotely sense things or send signals to any living things that touch them

also it's blueberry scented, also it has boobs like a sphinx because that's kind of funny

i have a whole doc from like 3 years ago on capsule here

10. how do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?

i'm gonna have to dredge up some SPECIFIC MEMORIES of this one because i lost my passion for most of the duwang gang very very quickly after diu ended

okuyasu:

REALLY jazzed that josuke and him pretty much get Cool Stand User Girl Counterparts

he and beni have a decent bit of common ground with lots of moving around, weird unreliable parental figures, and ESPECIALLY being deeply attached to people who are pretty objectively awful

he runs a little bakery that does catering for josuke and beni's spa

i feel bad but i never came up with a proper wife for him... he never got past the Infantilized Sillyguy Stage in my head, sorry okuyasu you deserve better

koichi and yukako:

like beni enough

had some silly experiences with her during her 3 month stint in morioh

beni was an egomaniac convinced every boy wanted her except josuke, yukako was a girl she tried to form an Alpha Rich Bitch Girl Friendship with to middling success

unfortunately it turns out yukako and koichi's daughter is the biological kid of yukako and josuke thanks to some Insane Stand User Shenanigans, more on that in a second

all parties involved are fairly chill about it though because the kid came out as a very short carbon copy of yukako

definitely makes things extremely awkward between yukako and josuke forever though

jotaro:

tolerates beni, glad she herded josuke away from doing something like starting a megachurch

DESPISES her mother

yeah her mother's kakyoin's aunt, she projected a lot on him, she would have tried to like actually maul jotaro if they met

beni herself never met kakyoin but he probably knew her situation and envied it a little (spoiled rotten, surrounded by friends, living it up as an Internatoinal Girl with her rich and sociable and fashionable parents)

beni has this weird "i'm trying to replace my cool crime uncle who is in prison with you" dynamic with him which he only allows because he's already a not-uncle to josuke

rohan

they have a friendship built around complaining about things and people, but only once beni's gotten older and less annoying

beni thinks it's really funny that josuke set his house on fire and is probably maneuvering to reenact it by 2030

probably one of the best options for a josuwife from rohan's perspective, all things considered

ryoko

lol ryoko still exists in my universe but cddh definitely did not happen the same way

beni was a kakyoin cousin years before cddh was even announced

ryoko and josuke definitely met at some point pre-beni-return and josuke would have crushed on her a little but it's just because of the family resemblance guys no really :noisettegrin:

beni is happy to let ryoko basically be her dysfunctional mom's new niece/kid/whatever because her mom has basically wanted a daughter who is just kakyoin since kakyoin died so it all works out

kira

he's dead obviously but every time beni gets drunk she interrogates everyone on why they didn't just set the guy up at a nail salon or grow clone hands for him or something

she thinks she could have fixed him

she'd still like to get at him with an axe for the permanent nerve damage and Bannister Pole Scars he left josuke with though

i could go ON AND ON but it's probably better if i just stop here... there's your Basic Beni Information Sampler though thank you for your patronage

[revegrande]

𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊. so 'm rewatching everybody's favorite princess movie again ( even if urs ain't tiana's we biased over here ): and 'm noticing how her hands are always busy. like there's never a frame where tiana's hands are not moving in some way. but something else is during the scene with the shadow man and how he digs into the whole '[...]: shame all that hard work didn't amount much more than a busted up, old gumbo-pot and a dream that never get off the back porch. [...]' tiana's reaction is 'he had love' but also i like to think that she remembered that moment we saw in the movie's beginning with her as a child. when she made that gumbo in her daddy's gumbo pot. see , because tiana's dream was never just for her to honor her daddy but it was also to honor her overall community.

the key detail in that scene is that everyone around gathers on that back porch. as individuals they may not all have had much , but together they had a whole lotta good. and that is what eudora also tries to dig into her daughter during 'almost there' a dream is better shared , when it involves someone else / others. i think it's also why tiana's place becomes tiana's palace — other than her becoming a literal princess at the end of the film , a palace is bigger and inturn , more welcoming. she builds a place where people belong. the ending sequence shows tiana feeding families, smiling at children, greeting friends. it’s not just about success — it’s about service. it's all of tiana's strengths , talents , and joys wrapped up into one fairytale bow.

she gains the ability to finally relax and have fun. do things she loves ( cooking and serving , working and dancing ): but she learns balance. naveen , learns how to actually do shit on his own. money and wealth are nice but it's hollow , it's empty. sooner or later you realize without the money you're nothing and i genuinely feel like without tiana , naveen would've never changed: but also , i love the fact that he changed not just for tiana but himself too. getting cut off made him realize , in his own words: '[...] i don't know how to do anything [...]' ( gRANTED I ALSO BLAME HIS PARENTS FOR THIS BUT SHUSHHH ): i really view naveen as the man that becomes the most dotting husband like even in the frame's when he marries her he is always looking at tiana. like in the 'wow i cannot believe this beautiful talented woman is my wife wow' and he tries everyday to be better for her and give her everything... why yes i am eternally tinaveen trash thanks for noticing ♡

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Question: if Miss Raven (your OC) was put under Malleus' sleep spell like everyone else, what would she be dreaming about?

Miss Raven would dream of the idyllic fairy tale world of a Disney animated film or musical production (including spontaneous song-and-dance sequences and dramatic soliloquies). Think like Enchanted!😂 She'd be the main character (freed of her curse, of course), able to spend her days singing in meadows, picking flowers, eating fresh bread (she shares with the local priest named Rollo), and sharing stories with the local townspeople. Oh, but what's this? An invitation to a grand ball has arrived for her! Miss Raven had better dress nicely for her big debut. Her friends are there to help--patient Silver with his animal friends (the mice can sew, and the birds make perfect bows!), compassionate Kalim with his endless smiles and budget, clever Ortho searching up the latest fashion trends to formulate the best look for her, and... Deuce who's there for moral support~ When the night of the ball comes, her Uncle Crowley can lead her in by the arm, warning her to have fun, but remember to be ready to go home by midnight or her father will worry. Her father, her creator, her mentor, the Storyteller--he's still alive in the dream, and she lives happily with him and her Uncle. Miss Raven makes the promise and skips off to enjoy herself, not knowing that she just may find not just fun, but also the prince of her dreams. (Who that is exactly, I'll leave that up to your imagination 🤡 Maybe it's an eel butler, maybe it's a huntsman maybe it's a lion)

(Malleus is off in some secluded corner of the ball, carefully observing her from a distance. Miss Raven was often the one weaving these stories--but now the roles have been reversed, with Malleus as the weaver and Raven as the character in the tale that has been woven. "Sweet dreams, young Crowley. Dream on, forever and ever.")

Basically, it's the kind of nice, peaceful life she expected she'd have when she first turned into a human.) The Miss Raven we know of now has become a little jaded and pessimistic from her life experiences like constantly being around the troublesome students of NRC. Despite this, she’s still a kid at heart and wants to believe in, and hope for, the best in others (though she tries desperately to cover these parts of herself up so she can appear as mature and strong to her peers). That's why her version of a “happy ending" reflects the more girlishly innocent, naive side to her, just like the stories she likes to write.

She's wished for her own happiness for so long, I think she'd easily fall into the trap and not realize it's all fake. As one wise and hopelessly optimistic Disney princess put it: "Everybody wants to live happily ever after." It would take some outside interference or dream world anomalies for her to realize that something is 'off' and snap out of it.

Bonus: I’ve been thinking about m!Raven lately (from an April Fools Day blog event), so I’ll talk a little about him too!

(Male) Raven’s idea of a happy ending is like an amalgamate of OG!Raven’s wishes and Vil’s desire to play the hero. Like the original Raven, m!Raven would be free of his curse in the dream. His ideal life has more adventure than OG!Raven’s 😂 and he gets to be a local pretty boy or something— indulge in his own markedly selfish desires whenever he wishes to.

Instead of being a pauper turned princess attending a ball, m!Raven wants to be the heroic prince the kingdom is throwing the ball to celebrate. He loves having the freedom to galavant and flirt among his subjects—but hey, who’s to say he won’t find a meaningful connection amongst all those in attendance? A partner to soothe the wild, wayward soul of the raven prince?

[roetrolls]

DREAM SEQUENCE RECAP PART THREE: The Final Recappening

Part One (Background context, drabbles up to White Bear) Part Two (Everything from Damage Control to Here There Be Witches)

CONGRATS EVERYBODY WE DID IT! THE ARC IS FINALLY COMPLETE. TOOK US LONG ENOUGH, HUH?

Let's just wrap this up for posterity. Short one this time!

Mad Dash - So. While Nymira's been kidnapped, Archie's been looking for her. He didn't get the memo she was back, though, and poofed into the CoTD on accident. Favion breaks him a little bit.

Eternity - Ailzea takes care of Archie in the aftermath.

Then something a lil crazy happens. Askers convince Nymira to dream-walk over to the Roatuses and ask for help. She makes a decoy Little Friend to ensure Cylion has nothing to hold over her and does so.

Bitter/Sweet Dreams - Ailzea and Nymira chat in the former's dreams. Nymira doesn't feel safe, and Ailzea agrees to come over.

Civil Matters - Let's not forget! Ailzea's a Grand Highblood! Luckily he's inclined toward diplomacy. No need for epic showdowns this time! But he does what he has to.

This arc went on a lot longer than we thought it would, but hopefully you guys enjoyed the ride. We had a lot of fun with it, even if life got in the way a few times. YIPPEE!

[chososhoeso2]

cheering and clapping YOU GOT HIMMM also the battle companion that comes with it is fun to play with. pretty different from every other companion so far! anyway smiling benevolently at you. you're in for a wild ride

Hi yeah so I did the whole myth a little bit ago and i am pretty sure I experienced all 5 stages of grief in rapid succession. That was.. a lot.

Before we discuss theories or anything I figured I'd just give my thoughts throughout it. I considered doing a live reaction and typing out my thoughts as I went along but I didn't want to ruin the immersion or anything.

1. It was really nice that it started out with Caleb and mc already somehow having improved their relationship since HW. idk what all happened in that time or how soon after he came back from the Deepspace mission. But either way it was nice that they were just friendly again and built back a lot of trust.

2. I love Liam. He was a really nice side character and I feel like he supplemented Caleb's story perfectly.

3. I'm going to transmigrate myself into the game so I can personally fuck up have a conversation with professor Lucius.

4. The incident with the banquet and the armory and colonel heath was kind of confusing. So was it really just a plan to fuck stuff up that Caleb managed to predict and intercept? Or did Caleb lay a trap that led to the banquet and armory thing but didn't anticipate the higher up guy to show up?

5. Look I understand that mc wanted to understand what Caleb was experiencing with the toring chip since he was never going to tell her but holy shit I really didn't think she'd just pop it right in. I think I actually said out loud something along the lines of "HUH? NO. MC DID YOU REALLY JUST..? GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

6. After Caleb passes out and she takes him home, I was so confused. If it weren't for the bit after the surgery where she said she still remembers the days when she had the chip, j would've legit just thought that it was like a weird dream sequence or something. Like I thought that Caleb not remembering mc and then slowly dropping lines that he does remember (like the bit on the train about the things they never dared to do in the past) and then the fleet suddenly showing up...I really thought that all of that was maybe just a fever dream or hallucination that was a side effect of the chip. Like maybe the brain's way of trying to cope with the soon-to-be loss of self, emotions, and memories.

7. The amnesia. So up until literally just a minute ago I was wondering whether he actually had amnesia or whether he kind of just playing with mc so she would devote herself and dote on him (I don't mean in like a manipulative way, more like a "we both desperately need a break from our reality" kind of way). BUT THEN I was going back through other stuff and I had totally forgotten about the dissociative amnesia mentioned in the anecdote. So do we think this is the same thing as that? Or is this amnesia literally just the effect of the chip erasing things? Mix of both? Why is it that mc is usually the one forgetting everybody yet Caleb is out here with multiple instances of amnesia...

8. Girlllll they really pulled an Uno reverse card here. In HW, Caleb is going off about locking mc up forever so he can always keep her safe with him. I was already like omg who are you mc after she implanted the chip but then she says and does all this and I'm like oh my god you two really are perfect for each other

9. When mc woke up in the infirmary to get ready for the surgery and Caleb was just acting like normal in his uniform I was so confused. That was part of what made me think it was a dream sequence.

10. All I ever do in this game is cry.

11. The YEARNING. OH GOD THE YEARNING. They did such a good job portraying what all those years of unsaid feelings ended up coming out as. But also it makes me so sad to think that Caleb assumes that only he remembers those moments before surgery and on the train.

12. You bet your ass i favorited the line at the end where he says "maybe it's because.. I love you a little more than you realize." (Screaming crying throwing up)

13. The scene at the very end with the shelter was really confusing.

14. I saw some things on either here or TikTok about the black holes, so I already knew about that. But I had also seen something about how he was essentially made by Ever to be the thing that could stop mc's aether core or her evol or something along those lines idr specifics. Like essentially made to be her natural enemy.

There's only two of his cards I'm missing. I still need to get Endless Summer and Exclusive Aftertaste. But other than that I have all his cards. I haven't done Painful Signal or Hidden Waves yet since I needed to do the myth first. Also of the Tender Moments, I've only done Borrowed Promise, Stage Observer, and Longtime Yesterday so far. Also I've done his first two secret times.

Is there anything in the stuff I've not yet completed about him being a power to oppose mc? Or is that just speculation at this point?

Oh also fighting with Farspace Colonel was a TREAT. I was absolutely shocked by the fact that I couldn't immediately resonate with him at the start of battle but ooooooh his resonance skill and ardent oath are SO COOOOOL. I defs have to completely redo my battle strats with him since my go-to is immediately using resonance and using a lot of charged attacks but that isn't gonna work with Caleb.

Anywaysssss that's a lot but it's my full thought process. Let me know your thoughts and what kinda theories you've got 🥹👉👈 I'm excited to hear your takes on it dear anon

[jellie-tamer]

(In the dark and cold Scar began to dream)

Unlike most of his dreams, this one is a blur.

One moment he's in the mansion, a small helpless vex experiment, the next he's alone and cold, surrounded by infected players turned zombies, the next from when Grian was lost to the watchers last, a cold glare hidden behind a mask chilling him to his core.

He dreams about the games, sand and cacti and comfort and warmth, crystals and mountains and loneliness and cold, bamboo and pandas and shrieking and betrayal, clocks and distance and pretend families and broken magic.

It swirls between all of them. Scar shivers.

In the waking world, Jellie defends Scar from mobs that try to approach. She can't fight the magic affecting him, so she does her best to keep his body safe.

Hopefully it'll be enough. She doesn't know if it will be.

Scar shivers.

[fractaldunes]

Had a really weird dream (or series of dreams?). It started off where a mutual made an oc server and i joined it and they had themed the channels around different colors like in one of their stories. And there was a purple pit.

Then i was in this sort of roblox-like obby course jumping between flat platforms over a death pit of sky. Everything was pale pink and blue and there were textures on the walls of catoonish character illustrations i couldnt make out.

Then after enough time through that, i found myself in a new dream(?) where i was in public school. We were stories high in a skyscraper. I was walking down the hall along the windows and for some reason there was a door outside along them. I watched someone open the door, walk through, and fall to their deaths it was very distressing. Then around the corner apparantly someone else had died and the witness to that argued with me over what just happened (suicide or homicide) not knowing abt the other death. Then three administrators took us in to talk to us. They were three tall shadowy weirdos. The tallest one then somehow got on about this story.

There was a little boy and little girl found abandoned in like a crate in soviet russia. Then they decided to do experiments on them by feeding them bugs and stuff(????). And he said he was the sister.

Then i found myself in the woods amongst a series of buildings i was staying at. There was where i slept, a well, and this sort of wilderness-shelter looking place. I tried to get water out of the well (i remember being excited about getting to crack a thin layer of ice on the water) but i wasnt lining up this complicated rig to drop the bucket very well. So i ended up going to the shelter to use that complicated rig to instead try and drop the bucket into this deep fire pit i wanted to exist(??). But the light in there was just from some random person watching cameras on a tablet. They waved at me and i left them alone. Then i tried to drop it into the slot next to that, but it was where id insert a unique engine for a strange car from another dream (i called it something zero). Then the area around me got a lot nicer (carpet, drywall, looking like a nasa control room).

Then somehow (maybe i wandered into it?) i found myself in a library. It was split between four colors (red, blue, green, yellow) and everybody there was studying at tables together. I was just looking around and climbing. I think my mutual from earlier was there. Then after a while this voice over the intercom (think an intimidating ai like shodan or glados) came on and started to like berate me or whatever. Then i found a series of books by one of my favorite review youtubers (i remember his first name was like a real name but the last name was just Mandalore like his yt name). And i really wanted to check the first one out so i kept bothering the ai and its presence (who i had cornered) and denanded that he check this out for me. Then after a bit i woke up in the yellow section of the library to a text from my brother reading "i updated the code for you" or something. So i got up and explored. And i eventually dropped down into the obby from the beginning and triggered a chase sequence that i finished before i even knew what was chasing me. And i escaped into the starting platform (now made of static) and won. And then i got to see the ai guy and it was a roblox character in a suit with only one appendage on his right side and some darth vader shit going on. Then i woke up.

And this isnt even mentioning my trip to Target with my friend Jordan that happened at some point. Or the dwarf trying to use a time gun to assassinate another dwarf in the past but the other dwarf had a rabbit-shaped thing that nullified it so that he saw him coming and the would-be assassin died.

[te-pu-si-ti]

A Trojan Shade visits the McKittrick Hotel: Day One

I saw Sleep No More once, four years ago. I'd say that it changed my life, in the way that anything beautiful and innovative that shows you a new way to experience art is 'life-changing'. But I didn't know how much it truly would change my life: introducing me to Punchdrunk, who would open a show in London a few years later. Which would become the best part of my life, for eighteen months.

Now, on my way to family Christmas, I was able to stop in New York for five shows of Sleep No More before it all goes away.

My first day was a double. Two shows, only three full character loops really, but so much to take in.

I did not do research before this show. I wanted to go in relatively blind, which is to say "not really blind at all" because I have been reading about SNM for the past two years. But I tried to stay fairly un-spoiled, because that sense of exploration and bewilderment was important to me, for this first show. I gave myself permission to look up everything I wanted afterwards.

I did one bit of "homework" - I watched Rebecca on the plane. It is a fantastic film. So I was interested in finding those connections, if I could.

Sunday Matinee

In the rules before the lift, they outright mentioned that today was a sold-out show (as they all are from here on out). I had booked these shows before the closure announcement, hoping that the matinee shows would be fairly empty... but fate had other plans.

First lift, I had no idea where I was going, but luckily everybody else did, so I followed them down to the ballroom. I didn't see this scene on my first visit! Nor the rave. Nor the banquet, until the finale. I struggle to remember much of anything that I saw during my first show - just vague flashes of a forgotten dream.

I just stood there, huge smile on my face, watching the dancers up close, the enchanting music (which stayed in my head all week), the lovely costumes, all of it. A witch winked at me as she spun past. I can't believe I'm really back.

There was one character in the ballroom who piqued my interest - staying on the sidelines, stern-faced, looking rather familiar. It must be Mrs Danvers.

Despite the full show, I had Danvers to myself for the majority of her loop. I couldn't have been more pleased, following her around like a little puppy, just me and her - something I hadn't experienced in the final months of TBC. No character was ever alone at a sold-out TBC show.

Is she the most flashy loop? Well, no. But I found her a perfect introduction to this visit, a fairly easy follow, and a character I definitely wanted to tick off my list.

She's so my type. Like Oracle, like Luba, a utility character, tidying up and setting up. She felt familiar. She felt comfortable, even though I didn't yet know her.

Covering up the clocks, dozens of them all over the walls, their ticking sound deafening. Time is marching on.

A beautiful push-and-pull between her and the Porter, on the sofa of the hotel, Lady MacDuff caught in the middle.

She waves her hand over the milk, as if enchanting it. It could just as easily be a mundane drug or poison, but she gives it something of the arcane.

As she mixes it, I get a jolt of memory - I have been here before. I have watched her mix the milk, and I have followed her down the stairs with the stained-glass window, the colours so vibrant where everything else is so sepia-toned, to the dead man.

He wakes up, she puts him to bed, and she's sticking her hand down her skirt - I blink in surprise, I wait for a more innocent explanation to arise, but no, she is doing what I think she's doing, until the man wakes up and she returns to attention.

A beautiful, beautiful sequence with Lady MacD and the milk again, jumping from table to table, this show makes such beautiful use of the mundane elements of the set as spaces to dance over. A table top, a cabinet, a recess in the wall, it's all fair game, and it's thrilling because I truly don't know where they're going to go next. I don't know where the 'safe' areas of these rooms are, which adds a little bit of stress, but keeps me on my toes.

Speaking of 'safe areas'... I continued following Danvers on the mezzanine, when a BM stopped me without warning, and motioned me to step back, onto a raised platform. I was a little confused, until I saw the door being taken off its hinges.

The DOOR. DANCE. HOLY. CRAP. SLEEP NO MORE IS AMAZING HOLY SHIT

I could not believe my eyes.

My second and third loops were less focused, including:

Following Agnes for a bit, until getting a door shut in my face

Finally seeing the rave, from a great spot right by Hecate, so I could look over at her orchestrating it all menacingly - I kept thinking WHY IS NO ONE ELSE LOOKING AT HER, obviously the answer is "the goat and the baby and the blood and the tits" but she was fabulous and no one was paying attention

It's Agnes again, with Hecate this time! Golden light reflection from the lipstick case into her eye. Catching her tears - just so familiar.

A giant hand made of salt????

The Taxidermist is a wonderful weirdo, brushing a fox's fur and then absentmindedly brushing their own hair with the same brush

Fulton in the graveyard with the umbrella, a scene I somehow ran into in four out of my five shows

Post-mortem photography in the album in the funeral home. I wonder how the deceased & family would feel about this: Does it grant them a little extra bit of the immortality that they wanted?

Eventually I wound up in the speakeasy, watching a card game turn violent. Once again, we're ushered up onto a White Mask Holding Area to keep us out of the way. I have mixed feelings about this - when BMs herd us around like this, it breaks the immersion quite a lot. But it also allows for choreo that might otherwise not be possible.

I stayed with whoever got killed (who I now know to be Banquo, but I hadn't a clue at the time) and followed him out onto the high street.

He looks around, then looks at us - then looks at me in particular, notices the blood on his hands and face, and I watch his dawning realisation of what has happened to him. It's masterful.

Noah's Banquo is the last character of my first show, and he will be the first character of my last show. There are a few portrayals that left a lasting impression on me, and this is one of them. I just can't say enough good things.

Sunday Evening

After the afternoon's Danvers loop, I had my eye on Lady MacDuff this show, to see the rest of her story. We climbed the stairs down to the ballroom, arriving before the dance had even started, and I soon noticed that this evening's Lady MacD was the same performer as this afternoon's Danvers (Matilda)!

I put aside a twinge of embarrassment, hoping that she'll take it as a compliment, and I ended up liking her as Lady MacD even better than as Danvers. I think this is a wonderful casting doublet, seeing the same person do both sides of their dances.

I watch a solo on a small bed, there's only a few of us watching and the room is roomy enough, so I scoot in against the wall. The wall is mirrored, so I look behind to make sure I'm not blocking the view - and I realise that the mirror is false. It reflects a room much like the one we're in, but the toy blocks are toppled on the floor, and a blood stain is spreading across the sheets. It's a fun and chilling bit of stage sorcery that I didn't expect at all, and I love it.

She toddles up onto a tall cabinet, unsure footing as she climbs up to a tiny shrine dug out of the wall. I love the way dancers can portray shakiness, awkwardness, clumsiness, while remaining perfectly in control. I worry for her, this pregnant woman so close to losing her footing.

I watch her scenes with Danvers and I love to see the roles reversed. She is wonderful as both, though with her youth, I find her more believable as LMD, and she has a sweet vulnerability. She seems to me a first-time mother.

She packs away baby clothes, and she holds a white dress up against herself, and dances with it. I'm reminded of a scene that Luba used to do sometimes, a dance in the Danaides room with one of the dresses. It seemed, to me, to represent a longed-for femininity, wishing for glamour in an unglamourous life, and here I think maybe she's longing for the life she had before she fell pregnant, feeling an ambivalence to this huge life change - joyful, but a sacrifice too.

She rocks a swaddling blanket like the child she hopes to bring into the world. I'm sure this won't end happily for her, and I'm even more sure when she starts looking into the mirror, and she sees me - our eyes meet and she has this terror on her face, and it takes my breath away.

(I stayed with her for an entire loop, through reset to the second ballroom, and for whatever reason, there was no 1:1 -- but to have a character look at me through a mirror again, that bit of Punchdrunk magic, was worth so much more to me. I don't know how they do what they do, but it means everything.)

Macbeth comes, and she is killed, and later she resurrects - the world turns a ghostly blue, a shade of blue that I associate with the record stop of TBC, a mystical colour, and a very jarring colour in this show. It's perfect.

We reset, she spends some time with her husband, goes back to her little shrine, and soon we reach another ballroom.

The rest of my loop 2 is full of false starts - I try to follow a character, only to see them start running up several flights of stairs, and decide it isn't worth it. I explore Floor 5, reading case files, including Jack Favell from Rebecca.

I see collections of nails, and collections of feathers, and collections of cut-out pages. I go down the lobby and I see a collection of tear vials. All these signals that we have been here before, and we will be here again and again and again.

Eventually I find the Porter in the hotel, and I have been assured that he stays there, so he's exactly who I need for my aching feet. I'm flagging at this point. A double in TBC was hard enough, and I would always fit in a bar loop on those occasions. This is a show that I don't know - I get lost, I run after characters because I don't know where they're going, I can't take shortcuts and I can't take my time. I've been running around for 6 hours.

So I stay in the hotel lobby. I even try to sit on the chairs, though I don't know which chairs might unexpectedly get danced on, so I don't linger.

The Porter is wonderful. I am so charmed by his dance to the ballroom music, and I get hit with another deja vu - I have seen this before, I have watched him prance along the bar, and I was alone there, just me and him. I remember that from 2019, a beautiful moment.

This time, he spends some time balancing a teacup on his head, and then running around with his jacket held behind him like a cape, like a little boy playing superhero. He wins me over immediately.

I get to see Boy Witch's 'Is That All There Is?' and Porter moping in a corner about it.

He takes someone in for a 1:1, and I wait outside at the Lost Property desk, but I'm not waiting alone. There's... another Porter there.

Oh, I've heard about this! They have a celebrity guest in residence, Milo Manheim. It's an iconic 'Sleep No More' move, if you ask me - I had heard about the guest stars long before I knew much of anything about the show. One of those weird little facts that gets passed around like urban legend - Sometimes, they'll randomly have celebrities playing roles there! They don't advertise it, you'll just go and run into, like, Neil Patrick Harris or Evan Rachel Wood or someone.

I like the mini-porter, though. He gives me something to watch while Porter is away. He's on one side of the Lost Property counter, and the cluster of WMs is watching politely from the other side. He takes a piece of paper, folds it in half, and draws a simple outline of a man - sort of a Gingerbread Man type silhouette, but with a long neck.

He tears out the little paper guy, slowly, deliberately, in that very Punchdrunk way where someone is doing something that sounds very boring when you just write it down, but is actually very compelling with the intensity that he puts into it.

He moves to the back of the Lost Property area, leaning against a locker, glancing around, and as he does he twists the neck of the little paper man, turning him around and around and around and I think to myself that must be painful, even though this is just a little paper doll we're talking about. Then, real Porter comes out, and mini-Porter goes in, taking somebody with him.

I see the rest of the loop through with the real Porter, catching a few scenes that I've seen already, but I don't mind that.

He takes Danvers' arm, and they walk together down to the finale. My first day, finished. I have seen so much! I have so much yet to see! What a show.

First Day Closing Thoughts

It was so, so beautiful to be in a world like this again. To uncover a new story in a familiar format. To be taken by surprise. To welcome this show in like an old friend.

However: I cannot overstate how physically taxing I found this show. Like, it's not accessible to certain people. I don't consider myself disabled or anything - I'm just in my thirties, have back and joint pain, and am not athletic. But I still felt that this show was not made for me. TBC was spread over only two levels and people joked that this was a concession for an aging fanbase, but now I think it's not such a joke actually! Those stairs are killer.

There are some characters who only stay on a single floor, and there are some characters who do a few flights of stairs but not many, or not quickly. And if I had that extra familiarity with this show, or had been willing to do more research beforehand, I could have found that out. Instead, I fucked up my back and my feet over the course of my double, so this is my caution to you: Pace yourself!

But, I mean, my discomfort was temporary and my trip was a one-time opportunity. My sore feet will heal, and fitting 5 shows into 3 days was a necessary evil since I was travelling from far away.

This show is dark. I get that dim lights are part of the format - but I found the lights much darker than TBC. The dim glow of dusty old bulbs reigns throughout, while TBC has areas of neon and more theatrical lighting which can be brighter without upsetting the mood. I struggled to appreciate the set and even the performers' faces, because of the lack of light.

These are just nitpicks and minor gripes though - overall, it was breathtaking. Overall, there is nothing like coming back into a Punchdrunk world. Overall, my main takeaway is there is so much more here. I can't wait to take in more.

Next up: Day Two (featuring a 1:1, and a Weirdo who I instantly fell in love with) and Day Three (One More Double, and my absolute favourite loop)

[amemoryofwot]

Ok final TSR wrap up and thoughts moving into S3 below

Whatta book damn. RJ is genuinely funny to me and there’s a lot of like, physical and situational comedy that I hope carries through to S3 (Nynaeve throwing the collar at Moghedien, Elayne and her 2x4, nobody knowing what the hell anyone is ever doing). He’s also so good at just like, desperate crushing character moments, like the AoL Aiel, Aram taking the sword, the final Battle of Two Rivers.

Even more so than Rand this is really Perrin’s book. He has the most complete storyline, which is great for S3 but a challenge moving forward as he is literally not in TFoH, and doesn’t do much until Dumai’s Wells. He also fights a lot of Trollocs, like a lot. Every second chapter someone is fighting Trollocs. For timing purposes the show could easily cut it down to Perrin’s failed ambush, and the final battle. That would still get him to the Tuatha’an and the Whitecloaks while cutting out two or three skirmishes. Whether CGI or practical i’m sure the Trollocs would be expensive and they already got dragged for 1x08’s PS2 Trollocs, so i’d personally rather have them less but better quality. I could see him and Faile having a whirlwind “omg what did we just do” kind of wedding in face of all the Trollocs and not expecting to live, but I can also see that being pushed. I think this will be the bulk of the S3 time.

Rand’s storyline could really be two eps, there’s actually not a lot there once we get rid of the Stone (for now). One for Cold Rocks Hold leading to Rhuidean, and then one for the journey to Alcair Dal. Of course he’s gonna have more to do like argue with Moiraine about prophecy, and hopefully everyone will get some bonding time in Falme, but he’s mostly travelling which the show doesnt really focus on with their wild back and forth, and he also gets attacked by a lot of Trollocs. Lan also has nothing to do this book so sword and toxic masculinity lessons being pushed to S3 will smooth that out at least.

Egwene kind of has nothing to do this book so S3 will surely be her Dreaming, although I wonder in what capacity. Verin, Siuan, or the Wise Ones or even Aviendha could really be intro points. I also don’t believe she would pass by the Dominion Band two or three times without realizing what it is, so her intro Dreaming sequence is largely filler except for meeting Amys. Nynaeve has a line about Egwene waking up screaming from nightmares so i think she of all people would recognize it. She also has a few moments with Moiraine so Moiraine’s story will probably be focused on Egwene and Rand versus her own S2 storyline.

Much of Tanchico is through Elayne’s perspective, which pulls her into our main group. Nynaeve takes a slight backseat in PoV to balance it out. There will be a lot going on between Thom, Min, Liandrin, Moggy, and possibly Mat, (Egeanin?) but I think it will also be the smoothest to adapt as everybody has something to do already, instead of having to make stuff up to keep them moving together.

The leftover bit is the coup. Min not being there to rescue Siuan doesnt really matter except that someone will have to take her spot, as i dont think Siuan can do it herself. Gawyn seems a good choice to set up his inner conflict/indecision. The Blues could also just sweep them out on their way to Salidar. Siuan does spend a LONG time looking for Salidar, and as much as i love a good depression roadtrip this would cut time AND spare us Gareth if they could just go right there. Especially if LoC plotlines are coming in S4 we dont have time to wander the countryside and burn down a barn.

Anyways my inexperienced opinion is its actually not that much to get through, if you imagine one intro episode, 2 for each Two Rivers, the Waste, and Tanchico storylines, and maybe even one Andor/Tower focused. Two Rivers will wrap up in ep 7, and the rest in ep 8. I’m imagining the coup and Couladin will be the big season cliffhangers.

[the-mspfa-200-favourites-project]

HOMESLICE

And now, it is time. The big one of this year. In fact, it’s such a big one that it’s currently FIFTH on the “overall favourites” tab of MSPFA. That’s right—the biggest continuation of them all, and the one that is STILL TO THIS DAY UPD8ING, HOMESLICE.

And it opens with a bang…by showcasing what exactly this is going to be: a sitcom staring everybody’s favourite blorpos, the HOMESTUCK CHARACTERS FROM HOMESTUCK. No, seriously, there’s a sitcom-esque introduction, complete with the theme song from Friends underpinning it. Does this mean that later on, there will be a SHOEBOX OF LI-I-I-I-IES reference? One can only dream…and by “one” I mean me. I’m the one dreaming that.

I like the idea of putting meme songs in-between sequences of the fanadventure and calling them a “commercial break.” Honestly more pastiches of things often not focused on when creating like, a “sitcom-esque environment” are always good in my book. Like how back in BIG AND MOOD WEBCOMIC (remember that?) there was that “Sponsored by Dominos” on the bottom screen, which added to the environment of like, “this is a paid advertisement that goes off the rails” kayfabe that the comic was going on about.

But yeah, those pastiches are not the reason why this one is so darn popular, it’s because—say it with me—WISH FULFILLMENT. The FANS DEMAND to see the Homestuck Cast hanging out in cozy apartments, in cozy, fashionable clothing, with shippable character dynamics and all that jazz. And most importantly, NO URGENT THING THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. Nothing like that. All we want is to see CHARACTERS BOUNCING OFF EACH OTHER IN COZY, FLUFFY FLUFF SCENARIOS. All wrapped up in an ACCESSIBLE, EASY TO UNDERSTAND ART STYLE that reminds us of HOMESTUCK^2 without being TOO MUCH LIKE HOMESTUCK^2. Certainly, this webcomic, of all the continuations I’ve looked at so far, has the most of that kind of vibe. But…as I’ve said before…that vibe isn’t quite what I’m looking for in a webcomic, personally? This is certainly the most “put together” of that vibe that I’ve ever seen. I think a part of that is because it’s not actively looking to “replace” Homestuck^2. Like, it has no manifesto, not obvious reference to Homestuck^2 in the opening nor in the title of the work itself. Instead, it simply says that this will be a more slice of life fanadventure focusing on the lives of the Homestuck Cast. And that is what it is. Atleast, so far…I’m never too entirely trusting of these sorts of things when it comes to Homestuck material. The rug is never not being pulled out from under oneself, you know?

Okay hang on hold that thought they just did the Homestuck^2 “two conversations happening simultaneously whilst on a double-wide panel layout” thing. Maybe it is trying to be a Homestuck^2 killer, but just in a more…subtle way. Also it does the same “Choose-Your-Character” select screen that all continuations apparently HAVE to have in them to be considered as such. Anyways, yeah. Homeslice so far has given me not a lot to talk about…I just wish there was something ELSE happening besides Wish Fulfillment, you know?

Okay actually I’ve gotten to the end of the year and if there was going to be a rug pull, it was not going to happen in this year. I think I remember *seeing* Ult!Dirk in this comic, it must have been later on in the comic’s run, though…whatever. If cozy cotton-candy continuation fluff is up your alley, then take a walk down this alley, I guess.

[opqrstuv04]

Anyways I’ve been rotating the s2 bar scene and the s1 finale bar scene and realized they’re the same scenes, and here’s why 🧜‍♂️

In both instances, Stede’s motivations are the same: he’s thinking, I am in this role. This role has certain expectations. Therefore, I must meet those expectations in order to be recognized. (And he deeply, deeply desires recognition for doing *something* right.)

Both the roles of “returning seafarer” and “famous pirate” expect a few things: confidence, cunning, manly strength, yelling, killing, etc. There’s no wiggle room. You can’t be a captain or a pirate if you act a different way. A weary traveler can’t reminisce on his friendship with another man he met at sea (“Blackbeard? He’s absolutely lovely.”). A “proper” pirate, like the ones who get famous, doesn’t try to talk things through, they just kill (“Walk.”/“Open your eyes, child. This is what a man’s work looks like.”). Both of these roles mandate a very rigid kind of masculinity.

Becoming famous is a head rush for Stede, but it also forces him back into one of his biggest insecurities: not being able to fit the role everybody wants him to. Most importantly, this is *still* deep down what he thinks Ed wants. His ideal dream self reunites with Ed on a beach, after murdering Izzy! He has a big manly beard! He thinks the “proper pirate” look will bring Ed running to his arms.

Which is why it’s SO important that Ed brings up his dream sequence earlier in the episode!!!! He tells Stede, onscreen, how he sees him: shimmering, absurd, and absolutely brilliant (“Fantastic.”). That’s what he loves about Stede. That’s what brought him back. That’s all he wants!!

Stede is so stuck on the high of being famous for being a “proper” pirate, instead of the weird, fancy one who does pirating wrong, that he relapses into old habits borne from insecurity, and completely ignores when Ed clearly tells him he just wants the mermaid.