#every time i see a pic of him looking directly into the camera it makes me uncomfortable bc he doesn't look happy

[yunogf]

"jaehyun in front of his mom vs jaehyun in front of other women" thats not other women those would be stalkers ur talking abt those are literal stalkers

[2millu2]

So Needy - Gojo Satoru

ఌ Ft. Husband Gojo x Wife.fem reader

❥WC: 2.5k

❥warnings: Smut, PwP, needy whiny Gojo, Penetration, pet names(baby, little puppy, etc), kitchen sex, Mutual Masturbation, fem reader, Phone sex, sexting, cock-drunk reader, slight hair pulling, horny Gojo, cumming inside, rough sex

❥AN: I’ve been gone for a while because of work but I’m back now and I’m ready to finish all my stories - continuing The police man Au but this is something to put out there hope you like ;)

As you were packing your suitcase, Gojo clung to you like a touch-starved puppy. "Baby, do you really have to go?" he whined, nuzzling his face into your neck.

You roll your eyes at his neediness. "You know I do. This is a huge opportunity for my career."

"But what about me and my cock you know how hard it gets every time you’re gone?" He pouted his lips while he grabbed your waist and and pressed his hard bulge

against your ass, making you shiver.

“Please baby I’m already hard, why do you even need to go I could easily get someone else to put in a museum better than there’s” Gojo whined pathetically as lifts your black pencil skirt up and he begins to grind his hard cock over your clothes pussy.

God it felt so good you didn’t want to leave as you pressed your hips harder against his but you snapped out of it he did this plenty of times before he’ll get you all riled up then you’ll miss whatever your planning to do.

"Satoru, behave yourself," you scolded half-heartedly, pushing him away and pulling your pencil skirt back down “your so shameless” you say rolling your eyes “only for you baby you know how I get when you leave” he said following you around little puppy as you grab your suitcase

His blue eyes shamelessly stared at your ass he wanted so badly to rip that skirt off, your ass looked so good in that skirt he wants to so badly fuck you over the counter making where you can’t walk for days.

I’ll make sure, you get to stuff me full of your cum when I get back, bye baby” you smiled giving him a kiss and leaving letting the door close behind

All Gojo can do is stand there his cock straining painfully against his pants as your word replayed in his mind “Shit I’m not going to last a whole month, I’m already hard now” Gojo muttered his face forming a pout again while he moves his messy white hair away from his face.

The first few days apart were bearable with the occasional sext keeping the spark alive. Gojo would send snaps of his thick cock straining against his boxers with captions like "Wish you were here to take care of this" or "My hand's just not cutting it anymore, babe." You'd retaliate with teasing shots - a glimpse of your bare thigh, the swell of your breasts peeking out from a loose shirt.

But as days turns into weeks you can see how needy he’s getting sending more lewd text and pictures.

*Bzzzz* Your phone vibrated, Gojo's name flashing across the screen. Smiling to yourself, you opened the message - a blurry dick pic accompanied by the words "baby, I can’t take this anymore I’m seriously getting harder everyday without you."

You excused yourself to the bathroom and you went in one of the stalls and you lifted up your black blouse and snapped a quick pic of your cleavage, you sent it back with the caption "Stay thirsty, babe ;)"

Almost instantly, Gojo's number appeared on your phone again - a video call this time. You bit your lip, bracing yourself, and accepted the call.

The camera was focused directly on Gojo's lap, where his thick cock was already standing at full attention, glistening with precum. "Fuck, I need you so bad," he whined, his hand fisting his cock eagerly you can see beads of precum slowly trailing down his cock making it glisten and the sound of him fisting his cock gets more louder with the mix of his precum. "I can't take much more of this teasing."

You watched hungrily as he stroked himself, his movements growing more frantic. "You'll just have to be patient, baby," you purred, your free hand drifting between your legs as you slowly begin to rub your clothed clit. "I'll be home to take care of you soon enough."

Gojo knew what you were doing he can see your face contouring into pleasure and the way your breathing gets faster the thought of you rubbing yourself to him just turns him on even more.

Gojo let out a guttural moan as slows his pace down on his cock bringing himself to the edge, only to cruelly deny his own release at the last second. "I need you so bad. I'm going crazy without your pussy..."

I miss you, too I’m so wet and I’m fingers aren’t enough” you say quietly moaning as you lowered your phone and spread your legs revealing you rubbing your clit inside your panties.

The sight of you playing with your pussy sent Gojo on the edge, so worked up and painfully hard for you. "Babe, please," he begged shamelessly, "I'm dying here without you. Just talking to you's got my dick throbbing like crazy."

On the video, he was shamelessly fucking his hand, his sloppy fist working furiously over his swollen cockhead, you can tell he has the phone prompt up on the bed.

"I can't take it anymore," Gojo whined, his voice thick with pure lust. "I need your tight little pussy wrapped around my cock so bad.." He was panting hard, fucking relentlessly into his fist and leaking precum over the bed and his hand.

You bit your lip, and begin to rub your clit faster. "Mmm, you sound so needy, baby. Getting all worked up over my pussy like a desperate little puppy."

Gojo let out a high-pitched whine at your words, just the filthy idea of your perfect cunt sending him over the edge. "Oh god, oh fuck - !" He jerked his hips us wildly into his fist as thick ropes of hot cum erupted from his swollen tip, splattering all over the bed and some flew to the phone.

"Fuuuuuuck, baby...." Gojo slumped back panting, flexing his hips to pump out the last few drops. His still hard cock was coated in his own thick load, a hot, sticky mess. "Keep talking like that I need a round two...."

You were flushed you can feel your wetness soaking through the thin fabric of your panties, he’s making you needy just from watching him jerk off. "Mmm, don't worry, baby - when I get home, you're going to get this pussy. Over and over again until you're a shaking, and I’m full of your cum..."

Your filthy words were sending Gojo over the edge, the poor guy completely wrapped around your finger even from miles away. "Babe, fuck...you're killing me over here," he whined pathetically, his breath hitching as he continued to stroke his throbbing cock on camera for you. "This ain't enough, I need the real thing so fucking bad."

By the time you got home a week later, Gojo was practically calling you every second, stalking you like a hungry wolf impatiently waiting until you get home. The instant that front door slammed behind you, you were shoved against it, Gojo's body pressed against you can already feel how hard his cock is as it throbs against your thigh.

"Finally, I waited 3 months for this!" he growled, his hands already on your blouse ripping making some of the buttons scatter on the ground.

He couldn’t wait anymore it’s been 3 torturous months for him all he could think about is stuffy your sweet little pussy with his cock.

“Fuck” Gojo muttered taking in your lace black bra. His mouth crashed against yours in a sloppy, eager kiss, his tongue drawing inside your mouth with desperation as your tongue fought with dominance.

You were putty in his hands, whimpering as kisses all across your exposed skin before slipping his hand under your bra and roughly groping your breast while two of his fingers begin to pinch your nipples.

“You tease, bet it made turned you on sending little pictures of your tits, forcing me to get off to your barley nude pictures” he hand moves behind your back and unclasped your bra revealing your full breast to him.

You always send his little pictures of your breast always showing bits of it same with your cunt, every time it drived him mad but being the horny mess he was still got off you them Just the smallest picture of your nipple sent him over the edge.

He could just feel his cock getting harder just seeing your breast closer now, it feels like his cock is a about rip out from his pants

but it was almost like you read his mind as

you begin to palm his bulge feeling how large it grew. he threw his head back and muttered out curses “F…Fuck baby don’t stop” he whimpered as he desperately begins to grind his bulge in your hand.

Your so desperate for me, it was almost laughable” you smirked as you watch him fall apart from you simply just rubbing his bulge you can’t wait to see how he gets when ge actually gets to feel your pussy again. “You couldn’t even wait until I make it to the room, your really that desperate?” you asked squeezing his cock through his sweat pants, forcing out a whimper of your name.

P…please baby d…don’t tease me” he whines grinding his bulge faster in your hand, while panting against your neck like a bitch in heat. You smirked and pull away making him whimper “your suck a needy little thing, aren’t you” you say as you slowly trailing your hands on his chest and your fingers slowly pinching and rubbing his sensitive nipple.

You knew how sensitive his nipples where how they always sent him over the edge, you swear you felt his cock grow even more against your thigh.

F…fuck” Gojo moaned as his feels his cock grow even more and throb as more precum stain his boxer, his cock is so painfully hard he can’t hold back his need of destroying your pussy. he wants to take him slow to savor every inch of you but he needs release now he’s been edging himself for you long.

"No more fucking around, I want to be inside you now!" He hoisted you up easily taking you by surprise as he instantly changed from being submissive to taking the lead. he carries you to the kitchen counter before turning you around making your breast and face press against the cool counter of the kitchen, he starts hiking your skirt up to your waist revealing your glistening pussy to him.

Your wearing no panties, guess your needy too” he mutters taking his tongue and trailing it through your wet folds, you let out a loud moan you’ve been holding back. “You taste so good, but I taste you later right now all I need is my cock inside you” he growled before pulling down his sweatpants revealing his long, thick cock dripping with ample amounts of precum.

Gojo was done with all the teasing and games - he needed you, and now. "Gonna fuckin' wreck this pussy," he snarled against your neck, biting and sucking harsh marks into your soft skin. You cried out sharply as he lined up the swollen head of his cock and slammed it inside your pussy to the hilt with one rough thrust.

"Oh fuck yes!" he whines while his white messy hair hangs in front of his face and his hands holding your hips in a bruising grip that was sure to leave a mark later.

He looked so good his white hair hanging in front of his face, his abs flexing and sweat dripping down his body, you feel your pussy clench around his cock at the sight of him.

He didn't give you a second to adjust, immediately starting to pound into you with fast, sloppy strokes. Gojo's hips snapped against yours over and over, his cock slamming in and out of your tight, dripping cunt with wild desperation.

"Mmph! Mmph! Fuck, I missed this pussy!" Gojo's cockiness had completely dissolved, he’s turning into a whimpering, needier mess. His thrusts were erratic, uncontrolled, like a virgin getting his first lay. "S-So fucking good, baby! Ah! Been too long!"

You grip the ends of the counter as he pounded into you with rough punishing thrusts. Each thrust battered your cervix, making you scream out garbled curses and pleas for more as it feels like he’s splitting you open and he slowly drags out of you only to slam back into you making your eye roll to the back of your head.

"That's it, that's it - take it all, baby! Take my big fucking cock!" Gojo was snarling, fucking you like a bitch in heat over the kitchen counter. Every time you clenched down around him he let out hot, breathy whines right against your ear. "Oh shit, I'm not gonna last...already so c-close!"

His thrusts were getting sloppier, wilder, absolutely frantic as his release barrelled towards him. Gojo's grinds his cock against your pressing your hips close to his you couldn’t even talk all you let out pathetic moans, his cock was swollen and pulsing inside you with every relentless thrust of his hips.

He grabs you hair and pulls your back against his chest as he lifts one of your legs on the counter and fucking you even deeper than before you threw your head back on his shoulder and begin fucking herself back on his cock meeting his desperate thrust.

"G-Gonna fill you up, babe! Y-Your pussy's gonna be fucking flooded with my cum!" Gojo whine you can see him sobbing with need, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes as he fucks you in a brutal pace the sound skin slapping filled the kitchen.

You never seen him this desperate before all crying and whiny but fuck he looks so good his blue eyes filled with tears and rolling to the back of his head, his messy white hair pushed back away from his face.

You move you hand down towards you clit rubbing it desperately wanting to come undone on his cock, he feels you clenching around on his cock he feel his body go into over drive and he turn you over and he lifts you up his arm booking under your knees and you thought he couldn’t get any faster.

Somehow he did his hips slams up into your in a wildly pace, he whines and moans in your ear while he tightly wrap your arms around his neck, your tongue lolled out, your eyes glazed over you were so cock-drunk all you can think about is his cock pounding into your pussy.

"Satoru ...I'm gonna...oh fuck, I'm gonna come!" The warning tore from your lips in a broken cry muffled against the heat of his shoulder. he increased the relentless pace fucking into your pussy that was desperately clenching around him.

“Come on baby…give it to me…please i need to feel you cum on my cock”

You came undone with a strangled cry, Gojo's name torn from your lips. Wave after wave of release shot through your core as you shuddered and clenched around his unrelenting cock. White-hot sparks burst behind your clenched eyelids, your entire body seizing up from your climax.

Gojo was close to the feeling of your pussy gripping him like a vice shot waves of pleasure to him, he grips your legs tighter and his hips fuck up into your sensitive pussy wildly and his thrust begin to get more sloppy and his whines get more louder.

You felt his cock throb and twitch madly as thick, hot ropes of cum started gushing inside you.

"Aagghh! Fuuuck! I’m…I’m cumming" Gojo cried out as his release shots through his hard, delirious with pleasure as he grinds his hips tight against yours. His cock kept jerking and pumping heavy spurts of seed deep inside your aching cunt.

Slumped boneless against the counter, harsh breaths heaving past his lips, Gojo gazed up at you with hazy, lust-dazed eyes. "...R-Round two in five minutes?"

Let’s just say two didn’t leave the kitchen until later that morning.

[umbramoons]

TECH MOMENTS PT. 5

The Bad Batch S1 E1: Aftermath

This one's a doozy, my friends! Enjoy 100+ bullet points and 50+ pics of our favorite clone genius!

- Running through the droids, putting an explosive on everyone he can get his hands on. ❤

- “Hey, clanker! Catch!” (This was the moment I realized that I like him. My brain did a double take, like: "Wait he's attractive.") ❤

- Kicking a droid for no reason ❤

- Walking off the battlefield like it wasn’t even hard.

- I love the little distracted wave he gives General Billaba. Everything about him is just so endearing to me. 

- His voice is a little more deep and raspy than usual while he’s talking about the war ending. Gosh, I’m down so bad for this man.

- He’s the only one who doesn’t have a blaster drawn when they first approach Caleb.

- Tech is one of the ones sent to talk to the regs about what’s going on. Echo makes sense since he’s technically still a reg, too, but why Tech? Because he’s the least likely to cause a problem.

- He’s also the first one to run to talk to the regs. Taking initiative once again.

- Tech: “The regs have been ordered to execute the Jedi.”

Hunter: “What? Which Jedi?” 

Tech: “All of them.” The disbelief in his voice is subtle but there.

- This is a glow-up, people (a small one since he was already pretty, but still)! Tech is gorgeous, and no one can tell me otherwise. ❤

- I love his tiny smile when he finishes explaining how long they’ve been gone.

- The disappointed look on his face when Wrecker doesn’t understand his explanation of how long they’ve been away from Kamino.

- He has the smallest smile on his face when he hears that General Grevious has been defeated.

- “Just like I said.”

- He looks so done when Wrecker punches him.

- When the clones pass by with the body of a Jedi, it’s Tech Hunter shares a look with.

- “Excuse me, trooper, what division are you from?” *gets shoved aside* “Oh. Well, they seem the same to me.” ❤

- He immediately starts working on something once he gets back to their barracks.

- All the formulas and calculations on his bunk wall… a result of his sleepless nights, I’m sure.

- I love the curious look he gives Crosshair when he says they didn’t complete every objective.

- “And my exceptional mind.” I love him an unhealthy amount.

- “My guess is we are immune to the effects of the programming.” *looks at Crosshair* “Though I can’t be one hundred percent certain of it.” He looks so. Kriffing. GORGEOUS.

- “You are more machine than man. Percentage-wise, at least.” His little reassurance to Echo at the end.

- Hunter: “This is one meeting I don’t want to miss.”

Tech: “First time for everything.”

- The way he’s just looking at his datapad throughout the meeting.

- Stepping out of line to ask Hunter what’s wrong. First of all, noticing something’s up with him. And second, it takes some serious courage to break formation like that during such an important briefing while all your superiors can clearly see you.

- “Still don’t think the regs are programmed?”

- Crosshair: “Republic, Empire, what’s the difference?” 

Tech: “The systematic termination of the Jedi is a big one for me.” ❤

- “Adolescent human female. Origins... uncertain.”

- Tech’s mouth quirks up in a tiny smile when Omega says she was wondering when they’d come back. He already likes her.

- His look of surprise when he realizes Omega knows his name.

- The way he stares after Omega in wonder. ❤

- There’s this split second (right after Hunter says "everyone's talking about it) where it looks like he’s looking directly into the camera, and it’s just like, “Well hello there, sir.”

- “Hopefully not mental. Clearly, we’d never pass that.” It's okay, I'm not neurotypical either, babe.

- Leaning around Hunter to see Omega.

- “You want to sit with us? That’s never happened before.”

- He can’t stop grinning at Omega after she says she likes him and his team for not fitting in. ❤

- I love the way his expression shifts when Hunter asks where Omega’s family is. Like, "that's actually a really good point."

- The way his face instantly drops when the regs make a jab at them. At Omega. He’s used to being pushed around, but he’s not pleased to see this precious girl being mocked.

- I love the way he’s all squared up in the background of this fight.

- Calling out a warning to Echo and then running over to the clone who knocks him out. It doesn’t show it, but Tech definitely threw a punch at the guy for hurting his best friend. ❤

- “We’re more deviant than we are defective.”

- “Then we are not being reprimanded?” He’s so used to getting in trouble.

- His eye roll when Wrecker charges into battle without thinking. I thank God every day that we can always see his eyes with those goggles. ❤

- He’s not at all phased by passing through live rounds to get to Wrecker. He’d gladly walk through fire for the people he loves.

- “Wrecker, are you alright?”

- That little head shake when Hunter signals a plan to him. Like he doesn’t think it will work, but he knows they have no other option.

- Wrecker: “Aw, I hate hand signals!” 

Tech: “Perhaps if you memorized them?” 

Wrecker: “Why don’t you memorize them?” 

Tech: “I have.”

- They’re in the middle of a battle, but he’s sitting against those barriers so casually.

- The way he stops Wrecker from crushing the droid.

- Reprogramming the droid, then choosing to ride on its shoulders like a legend. (Note that it looks like he’s the only one to specifically get an impressed reaction out of Tarkin with his performance in this simulation) ❤

- Can I also just say how impressive that was? He completely reprogrammed a hostile droid to follow his commands while under heavy fire. In less than a minute. What a man, what a legend.

- “Wrecker. Look alive.” I feel like he has the capacity to lead, he just doesn’t want to.

- Reaches out to Wrecker (who calls him buddy). “I’m -” *flops down* “not going anywhere.” ❤

- I love the way he takes a deep breath and straightens his posture for a second after Echo and Wrecker help him up.

- “There’s a fundamental difference between taking fire in battle and being used as target practice.” I love how upset he is about this. Also, he’s also backing up Wrecker’s feelings with his own here.

- None of the others make eye contact with Tarkin when he’s examining them. Tech does and practically glares at him. ❤

- I love his expression shift when Tarkin says the insurgents are Separatists. I can’t place the expression, but I love it. It’s almost like “Come on, I thought the war was over. Oh well.”

- I love his little disappointed look when Echo says he can’t crack the files. And then how he immediately offers to help.

- “That’s not going near my rack. I refuse to sleep by a projectile again.” AGAIN?!

- Tech comes right behind Hunter to exit the ship (and then leads them for a significant portion of their walk). Possibly symbolizing his position within the squad.

- Echo: “What was that?”

  Tech: “You don’t want to know.” 😑

- “Easy, Wrecker. Your programming’s kicking in.” I legit laughed out loud at this when I first watched the show. ❤

- His datapad lighting up his eyes makes him look so beautiful.

- Hunter always relies on him.

- The way he instantly senses that something’s wrong when he can’t see any droids in the camp.

- “There aren’t any droids, Wrecker.” You can tell that he’s starting to get a little agitated about this situation.

- Defending both sides when others choose one.

- Tech is the first one to ease up and stand down. Almost the second he hears Hunter start talking, like he knew he was going to tell them to back off. (And his eyes look stunning in that shot when he does. They immediately soften and become non-threatening.) You can just tell how much he and Hunter respect and trust each other. ❤

- He looks so pretty in this warm light of the camp. Who am I kidding, he looks good in every lighting.

- Geeking out over Saw. (And Saw is absolutely staring him down as he does. Like, they’re having a staring contest until he’s handed a weapon to examine. I don’t like that foreshadowing.)

- I also love the look on his face when Cross says “Is that a request?” I just always love his expressions.

- The way he leans forward with the tiniest hint of concern when Saw tells them to look at the insurgents they were sent to destroy. Anyone who says Tech is emotionless hasn’t been paying attention to him at all.

- His offended look when Saw said he thought he was the smart one.

- He is absolutely GORGEOUS in that shot where Crosshair says that the war is over. He’s literally flawless, and he’s perfect.

- “At least with the Republic, we knew where we stood. Tarkin and this Empire are a whole different story.”

- He literally jerks back in surprise when Cross says that Hunter isn’t fit to lead their squad.

- The concerned and confused look on his face when Hunter brings up Omega.

- “I would not discount Omega’s insight. A state of heightened awareness is not unusual for an enhanced clone such as herself.” Standing up for Omega before he knows her that well. ❤

- “When Nala Se spoke of five clones, Tarkin assumed that meant us, but Echo’s a reg. The fifth is Omega.”

- “Well, I thought it was obvious.” Leans against the doorframe like he couldn’t care less. ❤

- That glare when Crosshair suggests leaving Omega on Kamino.

- His little breath before saying “this is unusual” just makes him feel so alive to me.

- I love how he’s constantly glancing over and making eye contact with Crosshair. These two were so close.

- HIS BLACKS. TECH IN HIS BLACKS. Hallelujah for this scene. We wouldn’t be nearly as familiar with everyone's body types without it. Gorgeous man. Everyone likes to talk about Hunter's tiny waist, but Tech's is just as snatched.

- “Well, the mission wasn’t a total failure.” Of course he’s the first one to notice Omega. ❤

- His face is so warm and happy when he sees Omega. And then he immediately shifts to unamused at Crosshair’s complaint. ❤

- He shoots another tiny smile Omega’s way when Hunter says they were looking for her.

- “I never thought you disobeying orders was a problem.” Facts, love.

- Crosshair never directs his anger at Tech. It’s always at the others. Even if Tech does say something he doesn’t like, he doesn’t get mad until someone else expounds upon it, and then he snaps at them. Cross clearly has a favorite here.

- Cross starts shaking his head with clear distress and frustration when Wrecker says that they disobey orders all the time, and you can see that Tech notices it. He tilts his head and frowns a little bit. ❤

- The concerned look he and Echo exchange when Crosshair starts to confront Hunter again.

- He looks freaked out when the guards hit Hunter. 

- Reaching out for Crosshair when they take him away. That broke my heart when I first noticed it. ❤

- The way he bounces his leg when he’s thinking hard. ❤

- “I’ve got it! Why didn’t I think of it before?”

- He talks with his hands. ❤

- Covering his mouth when Wrecker talks too loud.

- Running his fingers over the wall to see where the weak point is. ❤

- The confusion and worry on his face when Wrecker says it still didn’t work. Gorgeous, gorgeous.

- The way he glances over at Hunter (or probably the guards) before going over to help Wrecker. Ugh, he’s literally perfect.

- “Oh, yes it did.” ❤

- Bending a metal panel with his bare hands like it’s nothing. My man is strong! I love how he doesn’t follow the trope of the nerdy character being weak.

- Wrecker: “I’ll never fit through that!” 

Tech shakes his head. “Astute as always, Wrecker.”

- I love the way he rolls his eyes and facepalms when Wrecker blows their cover.

- Grabbing a blaster and stunning the last conscious guard. He shoots twice, just to be sure, and carries the blaster. He’s such a boss.

- Turning to confirm the guards aren’t dead (or going to follow them) before leaving the brig.

- Tech looks so cute when he tells Wrecker to hold still.

- I love how Tech serves as the unofficial medic (with Echo’s help, of course).

- Omega: “I guess I got lucky.”

Tech: “She's not the only one.” *gestures to Wrecker without looking up* ❤

- "What's the plan, Hunter?"

- Omega: “What about your friends? Could any of them help us?” 

Tech: “That would be a short list.” 

- The way he leans in and smiles so brightly when Omega asks that question.

- His smile when Hunter tells him to plot a course for J-19. ❤

- I love the way he shakes his head with clear affection when Wrecker cheers this time.

[apocalypse-shuffle]

VALENTINO & VOX | ⅔ of THE VEES (Hazbin Hotel)

—

“Live Demonstration” (Valentino & Fem!Reader & Vox)

| After constantly fighting their authority Vox sends you to watch an execution in order to scare you into submission; Valentino couldn’t make your situation any worse if he tried.

| SFW, 16+, non-romantic, no polyamory, non-sexual, canon typical violence & gore, (TW: descriptions of a brutal death, Valentino, but no seriously the Vees kind of are their own trigger warning in this fandom), this shit is mean

| A branch-off oneshot from this post (an imagine), but can also be read as a stand-alone.

| Pic source: Hazbin Hotel S1

| 1k+ words

⚠︎ I DO NOT ENDORSE VIVZIEPOP (& associated parties) but I did watch the show and wanted to write for it , so idk ⚠︎

You’re still standing, rooted in place with your gaze stuck on the singular severed finger that managed to survive the feeding frenzy. It’s the only thing in the tank you can still see at all; the clear water had gone a red so thick you couldn’t see any of the sharks except for when one of their fins grazed the glass.

Everything around you feels staticy like it hasn’t since you first spawned in Hell trapped in a body completely foreign to you. Being forced to function with misshapen limbs like a bird thrown from the nest didn’t hold a candle to this shit though.

The speakers lined high along the walls around you come to life.

“Are you finally finished with wasting our time with your fruitless escape attempts?”

Vox’s voice booms unavoidably through the room, every decibel of his lax tone overflowing the floor of the tower you’re on and flooding your brain to the brim.

Where your arms are crossed your hands wrapped around your forearms tighten.

He sounds less like he just ordered a man to be eaten alive right before you and more like he’s booking a frivolous appointment for a wife he can’t stand, put upon sigh and all.

A few moments pass where the hopes you had for escape and revenge fall to pieces at your feet. Directly afterward you blink away the veil of red in front of you and look up to nod at one of the dozens of cameras around you.

“I’ll be needing verbal agreement, actually,” he drawls, voice still loud enough to vibrate your internal biological systems.

The grip you have on yourself is starting to ache.

“Yes, Vox. No more escape attempts, you’ve made your point.”

The camera you're talking to is as unfeeling as ever but you’d take the clinical paranoia of constant observation over a personal visit from Vox any day. You knew how quickly he could get to you and you did not want to tempt him.

“I sure hope so,” he mutters, voice cutting and snide, before his voice animates for the first time since he began speaking; show host cadence coming out in full force. “Glad we could finally come to such a beneficial agreement for us both!” He cuts the act then, tone mellowing, “Now, try not to do anything too drastic, I’ll be needing her for a presentation in an hour. Otherwise I don’t care what you get up to.”

He clicks off, the speakers going dead once more.

With a clipped breath you glance around the room after his final warning, brows furrowing.

That hadn’t been for you.

What you find after turning around makes you stiffen and the sinner to blame grins at you from where he’s leaning inside the door frame, all four arms crossed over his torso.

You blink, face dropping as his name falls like stone from your mouth. “Valentino.”

One of his bottom hands lifts so he can wave his fingers at you and then he’s pushing off the door to saunter closer. His steps are too deliberate for you not to rock back on your heels where you stand.

He sighs, this airy melodramatic thing that doesn’t sway you to him one bit. As if your personal interest was of any actual concern to him though.

“Voxy’s so mean sometimes, isn’t he? Forcing you to watch all this.” Stopping beside you he casts a disgusted look at the bloody water that managed to spill over around the sides of the tank. The sight of it makes you shiver and Valentino looks at you, his mouth flipping into a frown as he reaches out to clasp a dainty hand atop your shoulder.

His eyes are sparkling when they meet your own though, and his grip is too firm. Even his body is commandeering too much of your space despite his slender figure.

A thick perfume permeates from his glands that you’d probably find pleasant smelling in another context, tangy and sweet as it is; it’s similar to how you never once found the sound of CPU fans whirling unpleasant until being around Vox long enough to equate it as the precursor to his patience waning and his ire compounding right before he ordered something drastic and sadistic. Or how the staccato clack of heels never used to make you start cataloging exits till you met Velvette and her fatal storm of demands for absolute perfection and unrelenting need to snuff out her competition.

His thumb digs harshly into the edge of your shoulder blade.

“Pobrecita,” Valentino coos, his other upper arm coming up so that he can press his fingers into your cheek and force you to keep your gaze on him. His thumb swipes through the tacky tear line running from your eye and he clicks his tongue. “He’s too harsh sometimes. Personally I wouldn’t have put these pretty tears to waste, but you know how Vox is. Too much machine, not enough man.”

He talks like you’re friends. Like his platitudes do you any favors. Valentino and Vox are similar in that way; rarely did their delivery ever match the situation or social cues of the moment. Velvette was often the same but after your internet beef a few days back she’d grown bored of you and moved on. As of now her chats with you had mellowed into something that could be seen as amicable out of context even.

With you successfully cowed you suspected Vox would soon do the same, only bothering with you when he had need of you.

Valentino however….

You watch the way he abandons the frown to let his grin curl back over glossed lips and something in your gut tightens.

Looking up at another one of Vox’s cameras from over his shoulder is useless but you do it anyway. There was no doubt in your mind that he was watching, just knowledge that sat like a weight in your gut that he sure as shit wouldn’t be your savior.

“It’s okay to admit you were scared, you know?” His smile hitches a little higher and his antennae twitch. “Were you scared? Did the little bug's death hurt your feelings?”

His words make you rankle.

“I’m fine,” you ground out.

The Overlord scoffs like you’ve said something absurd and suddenly it’s as if yellow wallpaper shifts in your peripheral.

Black, and female, and delusional— hysterical; that’s what you’d be now if he did something to you and you went crying around about it, nevermind that your dark ever-shackled flesh had been ripped from your core and replaced with something more demonic, you hadn’t been a patron of Hell long enough for your human mind to corrode entirely. And you were yet again unfairly bondaged regardless.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” in an instant his grin turns from placating to harsh as his expression storms over, “I like that you’re scared. Vox gets so sexy when he puts his foot down, but you? You get a bit unremarkable, if I’m being honest.”

He flicks one of his lower hands, rolling his eyes.

“You glaze over like a wet cat. Hm, Miedosa? Those tears weren’t only from frustration were they?” He shakes his head. “If you felt so bad, why didn’t you go in there and save them then?”

The hand on your cheek shifts to grip both sides of your jaw. He shakes your head, fingers tight as they grind into your teeth through your skin and leave an ache that swiftly travels through the rest of your face and settles.

He regards you coolly, the way one might an ant.

“Nothing? Alright, I’ll tell you why,” he purrs, eyes going lidded as he leans in, “it’s because you’re our bitch now. And bitches do as they’re told.”

For a second all you do is gape, eyes wide and mouth open as much as his grip will allow. That doesn’t last awfully long.

Soon after you’re sneering wordlessly up at him, hands balling at your sides so harshly they tremble.

Valentino chuckles, dark and coiling and somehow just as all encompassing in your brain’s real estate as Vox’s voice over the intercom had been.

“I can’t wait to ruin you,” he whispers, eyes burning through you as he racks his gaze over your face before he’s pulling away and walking off without another word.

You hear him say something ridiculous to Travis from the hallway but it doesn’t alienate the tension strung through you like a live wire and for over a half hour you stare, face void of expression, into the closed door he’d come through until Vox calls for you.

NOTES: Hope you enjoyed!

I— deeply apologize for Valentino, I do. My little blurb with him kind of got away from me if I’m being honest, but I’m not even kind of mad at it.

Also, I’m almost completely sure that my use of Pobrecito/a is correct (I’ve had it said to me for years, I just had to look up the spelling), but my use of Miedosa I’m not as sure about. I wanted to post this now, but I will be changing shit accordingly once I get “outside consultation”. Either way I’m not a Spanish speaker so don’t take me as a source.

btw: if you’d like to leave a comment I’d very much appreciate it!

—

Spanish words of the day (how they were used in this fic): “Pobrecita” - poor baby.

“Miedosa” - Scaredy Cat; Coward.

Alt. Banner (scrapped) —

[magnetic-maverick]

The Second Time: Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog Fanfic (RandySlashToons)

Slash, non-con/dub-con

“Well, well, well, if this isn't my old buddy...”

Billy's remark took Moist away from his phone and coffee. He looked at his roommate, puzzled by an odd tenderness in Billy's words, a cadence clearly missing from his voice in the last five years since that... well, that day when Death Ray misfired. Any warmth felt somewhat out of character for red-coated Dr. Horrible, the most feared super villain of the E.L.E. in recent history. But one look at his friend turned these warm notes on their heads (did notes even have heads, thought Moist for a second), as Billy was sitting on a couch with his laptop, lazily dressed in a t-shirt and faded sweatpants, yet even without his formal villain getup managed to look more sinister than ever. He was smirking at some news website, his eyes like cold glistening shards of ice, hands clutching the laptop, so what sounded at first like genuine joy now struck Moist as borderline psychotic.

Those borders were probably crossed long ago, though, thought Moist.

“What is it?” said Moist.

“Captain Motherfucking Hammer, my friend,” replied Billy, still not taking his eyes off the screen. “The city issued an official press release stating Captain is coming back to his duties as our savior. What a perfect timing, don't you think?”

“So he's, what, out of therapy?”

“It appears so. Hammer's back and supposedly ready for action. Didn't lose all the weight he gained in last years, though. But we have to admit, he doesn't look like a bloated walrus anymore, just like a regular one.”

The grainy surveillance photo taken around eighteen months ago served as a new dartboard in their apartment. Captain was caught on camera sneaking into grocery store, baseball cap and sunglasses not really concealing the identity of who was once the city's most praised protector. This black and white still captured Hammer stupidly looking up directly at camera, unmistakable behind big shades, but hardly his former hunky self. Captain was huge, not morbidly enough obese, if you asked Billy, but still a pile of chins atop one clumsy, slow, sad memory of former buff self.

“The press release has his old publicity shot attached to it,” chuckled Moist, browsing the news on his phone. “Tabloids are already making fun of him, someone from E.L.E. leaked Cap's actual pics.”

“Well, someone must have glued the guy to the treadmill after all, there are photos from a press conference, and I hate to say it, but you can almost see Captain Hammer somewhere inside the fat suit he's become. Oh, what wonders science performs.”

“It's not much of a science to gag him and weld the fridge, really.”

“I can sooo see the mayor giving this order! 'Gag him and weld his fridge until our city gets back the hero it deserves!' Captain Fat Douche to the rescue!” laughed Billy a little too heartily, sending shivers down Moist's spine.

Moist knew this was what made his roommate such an unstoppable villain, but he couldn't help but wish Billy had a therapy session every once in a while, or at the very least talked to him about anything besides his nefarious plans. Being aspiring villains used to be fun, but not since Billy swapped his white lab coat for a red one. Although, come to think of it, now Billy finally changed the subject, and it felt even creepier, so maybe he was better off brooding and not sharing thoughts with his friend. As much as Moist wanted to help Billy, he was also scared of what may lurk beneath this recent supervillain persona: supervillains were fine, but emotionally twisted, traumatized nerds underneath those could be too much for Moist to handle. He was not a therapist, just a guy who makes things soggy and happens to share an apartment with the world's most renowned evil doctor, after all.

Furthermore, one broken hearted nerd supervillain AND one wrecked back-from-the-therapist's-couch jock vigilante was most definitely more than Moist has ever signed up for.

“So, where is my webcam?” said Billy, breaking Moist's train of thought.

“In 2009, I guess. Because, you know, iPhone?”

“Look who's snarky. Fine, to hell with nostalgia, I'll record a welcome back video with my phone, just need to somehow not make it look like Instagram selfie. Or do I post that short looped video on Vine? Nah, that's just ridiculous. Oh, I'm so inviting Captain to tonight's operation. I have just the welcoming gift for him.”

Moist looked at what Billy nodded at and saw a ball full of purple liquid casually laying on a coffee table. And for the first time in years he suddenly heard Billy utter his best maniacal laugh.

* * *

Once great at deceiving himself and averting his eyes from inconvenient truths, now Captain Hammer could not fool himself into thinking he'd look good on his motorcycle or, moreover, in the Hamjet. He wasn't even sure the Hamjet was still able to fly with him on board, but was too ashamed to check. He lost weight all right, but self-loathing, uncertainty and that constant dash of hunger he gained in previous five years were not that easy to leave behind, and, most importantly, so was fear. That girl, who was hit by shards of Death Ray, it was tragic and all, but what kept Captain's therapist busy was the fact that on that day his patient felt vulnerable for the first time – and that one time was, apparently, enough to break the seemingly solid shell around Captain Hammer's insecurities.

Well, at least that was what Captain kept saying at his sessions.

So Captain was driving his SUV, which surely fit his stature the most these days, reviewing the details in Dr. Horrible's latest blog entry.

“...and so, Captain, I'll be waiting for you at the charity auction, and be sure I'll come prepared,” said Dr. Horrible once again as the clip played back on the loop. “Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Hammer grinned, getting his villain-fighting groove back, or at least trying to tell himself that, and tried to remember those days when he was on top of the crime-fighting game. That felt like another life now, hidden behind years of fear and self-loathing, indulging himself in comfort food to quiet his anxieties, gaining weight and loathing himself even more. At first he thought he'd take a short break from heroics, but than the break suddenly spanned years, when Captain Hammer became just another unemployed guy next door. He was living off the rewards received during his vigilante career, which sufficed for his now more than modest lifestyle, only big expense being the occasional therapy session. At times he had the consulting gig for a bank or a gallery, but slowly the bar fell lower to the level of mall security – well, that payed the bills, anyway.

The bedroom Captain was always so proud of turned lonely, only seeing an occasional groupie hookup every once in a while, and even those were becoming rare and somewhat uninspired. Sturdy bed, custom-made for superpowered ladies man, now stood empty, as its owner mostly slept on the couch, lulled to sleep by Netflix marathon, in his oversized t-shirt and boxers, and not naked on red silk sheets under blinding white faux fur blanket. One sleepless night he took off his underwear and crawled under the soft welcoming furs, only to feel grossly out of place and get back to the couch. The mirror ball stopped spinning long ago, handcuffs dangled idly from the headboard, and the drawer with toys, lubes and harnesses stood undisturbed – but tissues were resupplied regularly, since when Netflix failed to soothe Captain, he had to seek help from Redtube.

“Oh, Captain, my Captain...” began Dr. Horrible again, more sarcastic than ever.

Okay, he was the Captain, and he was going back no matter what. He parked his car next to the mansion that held an auction and went in, hastily suppressing his shame of being the only fat guy in a t-shirt among these people in tailored tuxes and cocktail dresses and one fleeting thought that this slob of a man will be what meets Doctor Horrible for the first time in years. He wasn't fat anymore, come on, get over it. And what of Billy seeing him like this. That is, Doctor. Doctor Horrible. Oh, and here go the scared tuxes and dresses, running from bright flashes of light that engulfed the mansion. Right on time, then.

* * *

It happened a few months after the Death Ray incident.

Captain was at his therapist's office, which he has been visiting for quite some time now without much effect. He was whining about these newly found ideas of pain and defeat, fresh concepts introduced to him by one Doctor, the man who was, apparently, haunting Captain's dreams – nightmares, Captain corrected himself hastily. This slip might have caught therapist's attention, but at this point he had already learned to filter out Captain's constant complaints, and had written “Whiny bitch” in his pad, cursing himself for being so unprofessional, but unable to come up with a better diagnosis for the guy who was all talk and no progress.

Hammer's rant went on and on, carefully positioning Captain at the center of the Universe, the first person to ever experience humiliation and either barely able to grasp such a bizarre idea or really desperate to go through this experience once again. He closed his eyes visualizing the source of his unease, as doctor suggested, but it only brought back all the confusing feelings and made Hammer's ears burn red, so Captain repeated again his go-to story of Death Ray and defeat – but no response came.

Captain Hammer opened his eyes and froze in shock on the couch. His bespectacled old therapist laid frozen on the floor, grimace of disgust on his face, and in his armchair there was the person Captain has just hastily unvisualized – red lab coat, goggles, gloves and a glowing gun in his hand.

“So, you're feeling vulnerable, is that right?” said Dr. Horrible calmly with a faint smile on his face.

Captain was at a loss for words, eyes fixed at a blue spark ready to emit from Doctor Horrible's sleek new handgun.

“I hope you were not making any progress here, since I thought we could make your situation somewhat more sour today. You see, it came to me that there's one more line of defense I didn't breach, and as much as I'm repulsed by the idea, you'll have it so much worse, so, naturally, I can't resist. But enough monologues.”

Before Captain managed to utter a single squeak, Doctor pointed his gun at him and zapped Captain with a bright ray of energy. Captain Hammer was expecting his death at the moment, but what came was even scarier. His whole body went numb for a second, and then he felt all his limbs again, but wasn't able to move a muscle. He laid on the couch terrified, only slightly turning his head, barely able to move his lips – yet no sound came out – and able to close his eyes but too scared to do so.

“Don't worry, we're alone in the whole building,” said Doctor Horrible, sitting down next to paralyzed Captain. “We can keep it all between us. You like cherries, don't you?”

Doctor pulled a small bottle from his pocket and brought it to Captain's nose. Captain's wildest nightmares, the ones he woke up from both in cold sweat and sticky jizz, were coming to life. Now they smelled of fake cherries and Doctor Horrible's aftershave, his nemesis leaning closer to have a better look at Hammer's petrified grimace. He felt Doctor's heavy rubber glove on his neck, squeezing a little, then Doctor gave him a broad smile, loosened his grip and turned Captain's face directly at himself. Doctor looked him in the eyes and leaned even closer, so suddenly Captain felt his foe's lips on his own. The touch was oddly careful and tender, and Doctor's lips felt soft and gentle against Captain's. One gloved hand held Captain's head in place, while the other slowly stroked his body, and what Captain only heard was the thumping of his racing heart.

“Oh please, don't get into it, really,” said Doctor, finally breaking the kiss.

Captain opened his eyes, only then realizing he has closed them when Doctor kissed him.

“I mean, I planned this more as a mind fuck, than actual, you know, fuck – don't you worry, though, you're getting your butt stuffed anyway – and you, what, wanted this all along? To be fair, it's hard to read people, even as dumb as you are, when they can only move their eyes, but seriously, you liked me kissing you. Who even makes couches so small, gosh,” said Doctor, laying down next to Captain, one leg thrown over him and one arm resting on Hammer's chest. He was speaking directly in Captain's ear now. “But come to think of it, maybe you'll just enjoy this more than you've ever thought you would, and that will send you down a spiral of self-doubt! That would be fun, right? One blink for yes.”

Captain blinked twice.

“That's denial talking,” whispered Doctor, his lips lightly brushing Captain's ear.

Unable to even flinch, Captain felt Doctor's glove sliding into his pants, slowly sneaking into his boxers and resting on his most prized possessions.

“Can you even get it up these days?” asked Doctor. “Don't bother blinking, I can feel you're loving this.”

In a moment Doctor got off the couch and pulled Captain Hammer's pants down. Wet glove slid between his legs, going further down, reaching for Captain's rear entrance, and in no time he felt a finger thrusting into his tightly clenched hole. It barely hurt the superhero, but the humiliating idea of him playing a fucking life-sized cherry-scented sex doll for his arch-enemy was too much for Captain to handle – and even less so was the anticipation building deep inside him. It seemed like Doctor knew his way with dolls, deliberate moves stretching Captain's hole, and now Doctor turned him on his side in one swift move, as cold sweat covered Captain's forehead.

“Oh, just so you know, I don't do it for any badges or the League. Think of it as a payback. Or a date, if you like,” said Doctor, unzipping his pants. “Time to nail the hammer.”

* * *

There wasn't much left of the mansion's lush interiors now. Doctor Horrible was giving Captain Hammer a really tough time, ray-guns blazing and balls of some weird purple goo flying around, but nothing a few well-timed dives and human shields couldn't help with. Captain was getting closer to his enemy, feeling better about himself with every instant, his bravado returning after years of absence, when one of the balls finally hit him. The purple goo spilled all over Captain Hammer, holding him in place stronger with every Captain's move. Hammer felt it burn like a whole lot of jellyfish when the goo touched his bare skin, and now the room around him was slowly spinning and getting brighter, flashes of day-glo surrounding him. Day-glo was not a good sign.

Captain Hammer fell on his knees unable to stand straight in the middle of spinning room, when he heard someone coming at him from behind, and in an instant Captain was put in a chokehold, tied by purple tentacles and unable to resist.

“Hello, chunky,” said Doctor's voice right above Captain's ear as a grip on his throat tightened. “I see you were going to march in victorious, saving the day and such, but oh well.” The room stopped spinning, but now Captain started shrinking against Doctor, who grew into a giant all of a sudden. “It's not how it works these days, you see. You don't march in unless I let you. And I don't let anyone do that.”

Doctor's voice was now a sound of thunder booming from the sky above tiny Captain.

“I wonder what nightmares you experience now. I just thought the toxins in this nice purple stuff will help me drive the point home, the point being you are my bitch now, Captain. Have been for a long time.”

Captain felt every word crawling under his skin, body growing weak and pants suddenly being too tight, heat rising inside of him and strands of purple wrapping around him even stronger, but still not as strong as Doctor's hands around his throat.

“Well, it was lovely to meet you again. You can hand all this stuff to the mayor, or whatever, I don't really need it. I just wanted to make sure you'd come to see me, Captain. Think of it as my way of taking you someplace fancy, okay. See you.”

Captain felt air coming through into his lungs, took a deep breath and gladly saw everything around him starting to turn its natural boring colors, his sticky skin not burning so badly anymore. Doctor's voice still echoed in his head, when he finally managed to get up and get out of mansion into the sea of flashing cameras, smiling at another day saved, but dizzy and barely there. He needed to go home, now, to the secret place where he was safe from outside world till this day.

* * *

Captain's place was even cheesier than Doctor imagined.

Doctor's been looking for Captain Hammer's hideout for quite some time with zero results. Captain might have let himself go from a hero to a slob, but he still knew how to keep his place private. But now a little help from Time Science Blood Cloud, who hacked a military satellite, let Doctor trace any specific radiation signatures, so the tiniest amount of thorium was a perfect ingredient for the purple goo. As Captain fled the scene covered in drying purple remnants, there was no place for him to go other than home, and the whole route from the wrecked mansion and right to Captain's shower was transmitted from the satellite to Doctor's phone.

“Good luck washing my goo off your hair,” mumbled Doctor, walking into the apartment, when Captain ran into the bathroom. “That didn't come out right.”

He was standing in a dimly lit living room, a messy place with clothes, magazines and a couple of empty takeout boxes scattered around. A nearly full bottle of vodka was sitting on a coffee table, and after a second of hesitation Doctor grabbed it and took a large swig. “Oh, now this is just cute,” said Doctor, noticing a tissue box on the floor. “Crying, or jerking off, or hopefully both.”

He listened closely to the sounds coming from the bathroom. Was that sobbing? He sure hoped it was.

“Man, I knew you had a bad taste, but this?”

Doctor walked around Captain's bedroom, a much cleaner place than his living room with a slight air of being abandoned. Red sheets, fur, candles and handcuffs, everything looked untouched for a long time.

“This is ridiculous. It's not a bedroom, it's a damn porn set, and not even a good one,” Doctor looked around and saw a tripod standing idly in a corner. “Well, naturally.”

A shadow crossed Doctor's mind, but before he could even realize what it was, he got distracted by the sounds coming from the bathroom. Steady noise of running water was now accompanied by what seemed like moans and heavy breathing. Doctor grinned and made himself comfortable in one of Captain's armchairs with his new friend, vodka. “So, crying, or jerking off?” In a minute moaning got louder, and it definitely didn't sound like Captain was sobbing in the shower.

“Billy!” Captain's voice was muffled, but there was no doubt he said Doctor's name.

“Huh.”

Doctor Horrible didn't expect Captain to take the title of Doctor's bitch so literally and with such enthusiasm. In a minute the bathroom door opened, and Captain entered the room in clouds of steam, a towel quickly wrapped around his thighs for lack of a waist at the moment. There wasn't even that much of a belly hanging on top of it, though, to Doctor's surprise.

“Isn't this a lovely view.”

Doctor Horrible chuckled at Captain's confused face as he was blinded by the phone's camera flash.

“Don't look so stunned, I didn't shoot you yet, Captain. Come take a sit, let's have a nice chat like civilized men, without neurotoxins or throwing cars at each other, what do you think?”

Captain walked slowly to the couch and took a seat, trying to not take his eyes off Doctor. The mixture of shame, anxiety and excruciating anticipation overwhelmed him as he sat in front of his nemesis, painfully aware of a damp towel barely covering only his crotch, exposed and most likely disgusting.

Doctor tried hard to keep a straight face and not ogle Captain's naked body, sad, ridiculous, yet oddly comforting in its softness. This guy really let himself go, and whatever torture he was put through to get back in shape didn't quite work, leaving just enough to please Doctor Horrible's desire to see his arch-enemy turn into a mockery of himself. The man could probably still throw a car at Doctor, only now it would come at a price of a heart attack and a ripped pair of pants. And still there was something more to the man sitting uncomfortably in front of Doctor, a hint at another life, when he was still Billy, a beaten up nerd with a dream and not an actual supervillain, which turned out way less fun. There was once a dream, a nemesis to destroy, a friend and a girl, however fleeting her presence was, and now with great power came a job, a friend who avoided him lately, a broken heart and not a single chance to overthrow the system – Doctor was now a part of it, a cog in the machine routinely balancing crime and justice. So, yeah, this was his past sitting in front of him, his pathetic, fat and scared wreck of a past he wasn't able to admit he missed.

Doctor Horrible suddenly realized he was sitting silent all this time, basking in shadenfreude and staring at Captain with misty eyes from the shadow.

“You know, I missed you.”

Fuck, did he just say it sincerely? It was meant to be menacing when he thought of breaking the silence, and also wasn't going to sound so slurred. Did he get drunk already?

“I mean, it would be so much more fun with you around, all fat and traumatized. It's curious how tables turn sometimes, don't you think?”

“Why are you here?”

“I said I miss you! Wanna drink?” Doctor offered a bottle to Captain. He stalled for a moment, then grabbed it and took a gulp. “Can't I just come to see my old buddy, to make sure he's still a wimpy douchebag with an overblown ego who can't take a punch, yet is so eager to give them? Maybe I just want to hang out and keep you company for awhile as you descend deeper into obesity and irrelevance? It's what friends do, come on.”

“I didn't know you were now everyone's darling superstar, Doctor”, said Captain, looking more confident now that he had a bottle of booze in his hand. “Oh wait, you're not. So, what were you saying about tables, again?”

“I'm not a fame whore that you once were, Captain. I'm fine alone.”

“And yet, here you are.”

“Don't fatter... ha... flatter yourself, Captain Hammer!” This exchange started to annoy Doctor.

“Don't fool yourself, Doctor.” Captain kept his voice calm, but his cheeks were blushing now and eyes sparkled more with every drink he took from the bottle. “The city loved me. Women loved me. A lot of men loved me, too, if Tumblr is any indication. But nobody ever liked you, Doctor. Not even those girls who drew porn with me and supervillains, they didn't care about you either, and they drew me doing it with everyone. And I mean, everyone. You barely registered then, and you barely register now.”

“You know shit about me, Captain Tightpants. Captain No Pants. Ha.”

“I know enough, Doctor. You're an average nerd a dime a dozen who can't speak to girls and invents stuff that doesn't work, but you're hellbent on turning yourself into a supervillain, only having seen supervillains in Saturday morning cartoons, and you can't get over a girl who slept with me and not you.”

Doctor froze in his place, clenching fists and breathing heavily, squinting at Captain who only seemed more satisfied with every word that got under Doctor's skin. Was this fucker asking for a fight? Doctor's obvious lack of strength and muscles didn't bother him now thanks to alcohol, and Captain Hammer's face looked more and more punchable.

“Oh, I almost forgot!” chuckled Captain. “Me and your girlfriend, we made a movie that night. Well, she wasn't aware of it, but she gave a delightful performance on top of me. Wanna hear her scream my name along God's? It's short... I mean... Not that I...”

Doctor jumped from the armchair, face burning red, and aimed a fist at Captain's mocking smile, only to have it caught in his enemy's large hand and find himself placed in one move flat on a couch, a t-shirt falling from its back on Doctor's face to complete this humiliating manoeuvre. Captain's hand on his chest held him firmly in place, legs thrown over Hammer's. His other hand rested on Doc's inner thigh, and a t-shirt smelled of stale sweat and something nasty Doctor couldn't quite figure out, yet now he didn't want to make any other move or leave this degrading position. Just a couple hours before he held his nemesis in his hands, scared shitless and tripping balls on neurotoxins, and now what? The tables did indeed turn in mysterious ways.

“You know what?” said Doctor from under a t-shirt, voice suddenly shaking. “I think you've really worked hard to earn these last five years, and your efforts finally paid off handsomely. You did so much to achieve all this. Your morbid obesity, loneliness, your pathetic attempts to boost your ego at my expense, and nobody but a bunch of homemade sex tapes to keep you company. You deserve all this, Captain Jerk-Off, congratulations.”

“Didn't you just describe yourself, Doc? Only, like, fat? Oh, and this stings so badly coming from a loser homicidal psychopath, a joke even for his fellow villains, a nobody who has nobody, a sloppy drunk and, last but not least, a guy who raped me to make a point.”

“And you enjoyed every minute of it!”

Doctor felt Captain moving on the couch, placing himself on top of him. He didn't care if Hammer was going to smother him or beat into a bloody mess. Who gives a fuck anyway.

“Just like you seem to enjoy having my old cum-drenched t-shirt all over your face.”

Doctor Horrible hastily threw it on the floor and saw Captain's face a few inches above his.

“Get off me.”

“No way.”

“The hell do you want? Revenge? Break my neck and don't waste my time.”

“No. It's you I want, little buddy. All to myself. I don't like sharing, you see. Couldn't let you settle with that girl that time. Ever wondered why no other superhero bothered to fight you? I always told them you're mine. I didn't even realize this until some time ago. I blame my therapist, really. It was easier just getting my hands on you without understanding that I want to get my hands on you. And your hands on my hammer.” Captain leaned closer and whispered into Doctor Horrible's ear. “And yes, Billy, I love cherries.”

“There's no Billy anymore.”

“Well, it's worth taking a look, maybe you're just hiding him somewhere.”

Doctor laid there petrified and barely able to grasp what's going on. Proverbial tables turned, spun a little, hit him on the head and flew away in a flock, leaving him seriously confused. As tables gracefully soared into the setting sun, Captain was undoing the buttons on his lab coat.

“How sweet,” smiled Captain, as he revealed a well-worn t-shirt with a yellow hammer logo under Doctor's red coat.

“Laundry day,” grumbled Doctor Horrible.

Captain's large hand slipped under Doctor's t-shirt.

“Missing a human touch for some time now, are we?”

“I hate you. You're an asshole,” said Doctor trying to suppress his whole body shivering.

“Then use me like one. They say it's better the second time.”

* * *

Nothing made any sense anymore, as Doctor laid on a couch, suddenly feeling his lips part, welcoming Captain's kiss, and his tongue eagerly entwine with the Captain's. Hammer's tongue was very deliberate in entering Doctor's mouth, rough and hungry, and his hand was exploring Doctor's body under that damn t-shirt, generously stroking his skin, caressing his chest and playing with nipples. Doctor was pretty sure his erection has never felt so painful, ready to release any moment.

As Captain broke the kiss, Doctor instinctively raised his head, following the other man's mouth, but had a finger seal his lips.

“We shall get back to that in a moment, Doc. Now, there's other business to attend to.”

Captain started hastily pulling off Doctor's clothes, t-shirt and lab coat the first to go, then he pulled off his boots and unzipped his pants. Horrible's tightie whities barely managed to hold his hard-on in place, and Doctor made a loud gasp as Captain laid his hand on a bulge, slowly rubbing it. One stronger stroke, and he pulled down Doctor's underwear, revealing his cock leaking onto the stomach.

“Man, a nice mess you got here,” said Captain, running his fingers up and down Horrible's shaft, balls and pubes damp with pre-cum. “Let's take a peek at the head, now shall we.”

Captain's fingers gently held Doctor's cock and slowly pulled back his uncut foreskin. This move was too much for Doctor to handle, as he felt his abs clench, balls tighten and a thick spurt of semen rush from his penis, splattering all over his body. The first one was followed by a few more, less strong but still making a puddle of hot jizz on his stomach. He didn't even manage a scream and just breathed heavily, his chest heaving and mouth agape, face burning red with shame and arousal. He was afraid to open his eyes.

“Damn, that was quick. And hot,” said Captain's voice.

Doctor looked at Captain with one eye. Hammer was kneeling between his legs on the couch, smoldering look on his face, and towel gone, revealing his throbbing erection.

“Go on, Captain, I know you want to,” said Doctor, his voice hoarse from panting. He stretched on the couch, placing his arms behind his head, and looked Captain directly in the eye.

Captain put his left hand behind him and arched forward as he stuck a thumb in his ass, thrusting hard into his clenched fist. He kept stroking his dick and pushing fingers deeper inside to rub a prostate. Eyes fixed on Doctor's blushing face, he felt the approaching orgasm in his whole body, and his movements lost their rhythm, harder strokes on his penis bringing him sooner release. Captain's whole body tightened and with a long moan he spilled his cum on Doctor's stomach. Breathing loudly, he collapsed on top of him, spreading sticky puddle of semen all over their bodies.

Everything that just happened seemed completely wrong to Doctor, yet he couldn't help but feel satisfied and, of all things, relaxed and secure, lying here covered in cum under the weight of his supposedly still arch-nemesis. There was a dash of self-deprecation somewhere below all this, but Doctor was genuinely surprised how simply good it felt right now. His sober and drunk self suddenly changed their parts, and now his drunk self, who felt used, spent and humiliated, was giving up to the sober part of his brain, however small, telling him to go for it and have some messy fun. He'll kill the guy later, if there's a problem, no big deal.

Captain silently sat up and grabbed his old t-shirt from the floor. He carefully wiped Doctor's body clean with it and then cleaned his chest and stomach as well. He dropped it back on a floor and stood up. He then took Doctor in his arms and, still silent, carried him to the bedroom. Doctor felt Captain's heart beating rapidly and chest heaving with heavy breathing. In a moment they were both in a spacious Captain's bed, under his ridiculous fur blanket, warm and quiet. The blanket felt really nice, though, thought Doctor.

Captain Hammer turned to Doctor and wrapped him in his arms, smiling.

“Keep in mind, I can still break all you limbs and crush your windpipe in a matter of seconds.”

“I've never heard a sweeter thing.”

“Shut up and let me finish. But you should not be afraid of anyone if you're still mine. Anyone looks at you funny, I'll rip their heads off. You're my nemesis, and nobody messes with my pronounced enemies. Especially little cute ones. As long as they don't leave me.”

“Are you saying we should give up our lives of crime and crime-fighting and engage in an abusive relationship?”

“Pretty much. Is there a problem?”

“None at all. Have you always been so cuddly? I wasted years not knowing it,” Doctor moved closer, holding tight onto Captain's huge body, one leg wrapped around his thigh. “Do you mind if I fuck you later, it's so warm here I'm all sleepy. And also please don't turn it into a trap and kill me while I sleep, okay?”

“Okay. I won't kill you, and you can fuck the hell out of me later.”

“Pinky promise?”

“Don't be ridiculous, dude.”

Now Doctor's persona has finally faded away, and it was Billy breathing into Captain's neck. He was smiling at the idea of Captain having his own army of porn-drawing fans, not grinning in an evil fashion, but just being genuinely amused by the fact.

“Oh, I need to ask one thing. Like, really badly. Your fans drew porn with you and every supervillain ever, right? So... Bad Horse?”

“You have no idea.”

Captain smiled back at Billy.

[mistressemmedi]

My 2 cents on the pap pics of Cat Dad and Milf: a former colleague who used to own a fanpage for Nicki Minaj (ps: Nicki fans are scary. They go as far as doxxing POLITICIANS to defend her) once told me that there are sites/forums that sell unreleased pap pics and professional HQ pics with no watermark, so it's possible that the fan really got the pics from one of those sites, plus it's not sus that no one relevant bought the pics of F1's most bizarre couple. They are in St. Barts, and at the end of the year the island gets packed with celebrities way more relevant than them to have their pap pics featured on articles. Let's be honest: even after 2 titles, the Cat Dad is still not a big celebrity outside the Netherlands and nobody likes the Milf, so definitely no relevant publication would want to buy their pics atm, lmaooo. The only time I saw anything related to them on a big gossip site was when TMZ and The Sun reported that Cat Dad said her dad wasn't a racist after he was racist towards Lewis. And since the other anon cited the pap pics of Charlotte and Charles, I have tea: she definitely called the paps and paid for the Daily Mail article. Miss Siné was looking directly into the paparazzi camera in some of the pics taken as if she knew exactly where they would be, the bikini brand she wore used the pics for an Ad, and the DM article had more information about her than her own Linkedin and talked more about her than about Charles, when he was the famous one of the couple. I don't think either the dutch Shark Boy or his Mommy Gf called the paps because besides not being featured on any relevant piece (pap pics that are staged always get sold to a site/magazine), he doesn't like to be photographed and she'd rather die than see unedited pics of her being posted. Milf edits herself on IG so much that every time there are "normal" pics of her, whether from paps or photographers in the paddock, people ask if she is pregnant because they are seeing her natural body for the first time (this happened after the race in Bahrain in last year and she DM'ed EVERY wag page asking them to delete her pics because she was feeling body-shamed with the comments). She also edits the shit out the Cat Dad, sometimes making him look CGI-like. I would say that if you don't like your boyfriend looks, it's better to break up not to post him, but Milf has no engagement if she doesn't post Cat Dad or Baby Torpedo.

[brokkoli-hedge]

1st pic. (id by faetism) [ID: A note that reads: "you know i bet light yagami despised people who pissed in the urinal directly next to him so much but knew he couldn't kill them because it wasn't a crime so instead he always had a small scrap of the death note in his back pocket to touch them with so after they finished their business they zip up turn around and see ryuk's dog face just staring bsck at them and ryuk is just like "hey man, look," and the person is like WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT and light is just like huh? 😁 what are you talking about? of course, light and ryuk are both in on it, they made this agreement super early on and ryuk gets an apple every tine he does it. anyways ryuk then says to the guy something like yeah i'm the pisslord of this bathroom i come out whenever guys just whip it out recklessly next to another man and the dude runs out of the bathroom screaming" /End ID]

2nd pic. 3 comments: rubbrchickn "When they set up the cameras in light's house it would have been really funny if ryuk still ate apples and moved objects around and light talked to him, the house is haunted but maybe not related to the killings tho if they could pull of that deception. Just a completely different phenomena that makes light looks suspicious but not relevant to finding the serial killer"

yorickoid "he's touching the men who come and stand next to him at the urinals huh..."

russersprouts "Everybody saying "yeah but light doesn't have a sense of humor" is right but only partially. He'd do this with full sincerity and doesn't get how it would be funny in the slightest"

3rd Pic. tags by j4gm "#L: i've heard rumors of a strange pisslord who haunts this bathroom #L: (takes urinal next to light) #Light: (dramatic internal monologue): why would he take the urinal next to mine #if he believes it will summon the pisslord #unless that he has figured out that kira's supernatural abilities must be the result of a shinigami #in which case i must plot my next move very carefully #if i touch him with the death note so he can see ryuk then it might confirm his theory #and increase the suspicion on myself #but if i don't... #he will know that the pisslord is treating him differently #and that will also increase the suspicion on myself #damn it L #you hold all the cards this time #death note"

4th pic. tags by iernos "#this is it #this is the post that kills me every time i read it #i don't know HOW many times i've looked up 'ryuk dog face light yagami urinal crime' or some variation of this #the phrase 'they zip up turn around and see ryuk's dog face just staring back at them' #has got to be the funniest shit ive ever read in my life #but yeah not op's right #death note

5th pic. tags by fruityastronaut "#oh my god #posts hall fo fame #posts to show irls #<- my mother"

had to share this note i woke up and wrote in the dead of night

[unlikelywrestlingfan]

Elle’s Unsolicited Thoughts on BOSJ 30 Night 5

Ya girl making her way slowly but surely thru!

Pre: No Chris again?😞 Do we have the onion at least? No hate to Kevin, he does great work despite our beef.

Match 1 - Ryusuke Taguchi vs. Hiromu Takahashi: WHY WOULD THEY PUT RYUSUKE AGAINST THE CHAMP IN HIS HOMETOWN. Sigh.

Match 2 - Kevin Knight vs. Bushi: skipped

Match 3 - TJP vs. Sho: skipped

Match 4 - Francesco Akira vs. Clark Connors: skipped

Match 5 - Lio Rush vs. Douki: Sigh. Okay. Alright. I can do this. I can be brave and watch another Douki match that may break my heart. KEVIN KNIGHT GAINING POINTS FROM ME BY PUTTING DOUKI OVER ON COMMENTARY. Kevin: "What's your problem? He's putting eyes on the onion." Douki leave the onion alone aldkjadlkj XD. Kevin Kelly stop saying "fresh out of the oven" challenge. DOUKI TAPPING OUT THE UNDEFEATED LIO FUCK Y E S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Match 6 - Yoshinobu Kanemaru vs. Robbie Eagles: skipped

Match 7 - Titán vs. Speedball Mike Bailey: Kevin Knight is fun on commentary! We love a Speedy win!!!!!!

Match 8 - Master Wato vs. Dan Moloney: RHINO GAVE MOLONEY THE GO AHEAD TO CALL HIS SPEAR A GORE, NICE.

Match 9 - Kushida vs. Taiji Ishimori: Kevin Kelly is really determined to mention Shelley every time we see Kushi, isn't he. Sidenote, Kelly's quick explanation of the recent history between Kushi and Taiji was a great, brief recap that brings people up to speed/reminds them without being redundant! Kevin Knight leaving commentary to go check on Kushi after the match :').

Match 10 - El Desperado vs. Yoh: YOH MOCKING DESPE'S BOW DURING HIS ENTRANCE ALJFALDKJA. Look I saw the pics of Yoh weirdly posing when Despe entered but LMAO WHAT ARE YOU DOING. HE MOCKED DTHE BOW AGAIN. Despe looks like: wut. LDAKDJALD MIDMATCH BOW. NEW DRINKING GAME UNLOCKED. YOH WT ARE YOU DOING HIE'S BOPPING HIS HEAD???? yeah Yoh you had that slam coming but ope roll out of the ring. Kevin Kelly: "Well Oscar and the other Young Lions coming over to potentially save our lives" lollllllllllll ALDKJADLKAJDLKJAD DESPE MAKING THE CROWD MOVE SO HE CAN Y E E T YOH INTO THE CHAIRS. Red Shoes being like go back in the ring and Despe holding up his hands like yeah. Now dragging Yoh back by the hair. LAKDJADL YOH WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOL ~before this match~ Despe: "So we're the main event and you're from Sendai, and you've been doing this bitch thing with your character - how much do you want to dial that up tonight? I can work with it." Yoh: "Yes." Yoh is laying down and kicking Despe like a toddler aldkjadlkj. Aaaaand now Despe's like, oh you're gonna be a bitch? Two can play at that game. XD . . . YOH JUST KISSED DESPE'S HEAD AND THEN LICKED HIS LIPS WITH AN INSANE LOOK IN HIS EYES????? another fall into the cover cover, love it. Wow, so that was a very solid match wrestling wise and also so much character work on both sides alkdjaldkjaldkjka well done.

Aw, handshake! WAIT DESPE BIT HIM ALDKJA LDKJA DL LOL.

I'm still never ready for how deep Yoh's voice is. CAMERA MAN DID WE NEED TO DO THE UNDER CLOSE UP SHOT OF HIS BOOBS OH MY GOSH NOW HE’S BOOBING DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA UM I

[yamahex]

Jack and the reader at his signing/meet and greet and he gets jealous when lots of male fans bring her gifts (flowers, etc) and want pics w her

A/N: I actually love this idea.

“Next!“ The coordinator of the event yelled to the line.

Jack’s smile was beaming, he loved meet and greets. It was a great chance to meet all his supportive fans.

You stood on the side and watched proudly as he signed a girls cd. It was nice to see him interacting closely with everyone. Plus every other person brought him or some of the crew gifts, which everyone loved.

“Next!”

A guy walked up to the table and him and Jack shared a quick intro. You noticed he had some flowers in his hands as he pushed his cd on the table.

“Are those for me?” Jack snickered. The man’s eyebrows lifted.

“Oh no, they’re actually for Y/N.” Jack turned and both of the men looked at you. You took that as a sign to get closer.

“Babe this guy brought you flowers.”

“Aww thank you.” You smiled brightly and gratefully accepted them into your hands.

“You’re welcome.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I was also wondering if I could get a picture with you too?”

You looked at Jack he smiled and nodded. He loved to see his fans interact. You turned your attention back to the man.

“Of course!” He lit up and walked next to you.

“Urb can you take this picture for us really quickly?” Urban looked over then nodded. The guy handed him his phone and you posed with your arm on your hip.

The man managed to sneak his arm around your waist, which you took as a innocent friendly sign. After the picture he thanked you and walked away.

You walked back to your previous spot and continued to watch the meet and greet.

Towards the end of the event a few more people asked to take pictures with you, a couple women but mostly men. The men came bearing more gifts like chocolates, more flowers and surprisingly a necklace.

Your eyes widened at the necklace and looked up at the man. Jack was furious but was trying hard to not show it.

“I can’t accept this.” You handed the gift back to him but was intercepted by his hand on top of yours.

“I bought it just for you.” This was the breaking point for Jack.

He got up from his seat and walked next to you. Your face held a nervously awkward expression. His hand grabbed the box with the necklace and shoved it into the man’s chest, stunning him.

“Thanks but I can buy her all the jewelry she needs.” Your eyes widened at the interaction as Jack held a stern expression on his face.

The security guard noticed the interaction and lightly pushed the man out of line, making you look up at Jack. You grabbed his hand and took him somewhere with no other faces or cameras.

Neelam came out to say a brief statement.

“Sorry about that guys we’re just gonna take a small break but Jack will be back out soon!”

You managed to find a private area.

“That was a little much don’t you think?” He leaned against the wall with his hands in his hoodie.

“Nah I think it was just enough. I don’t need some other dude out here thinking he can buy you jewelry.” You folded your arms over your chest.

“I wasn’t going to accept it anyways.”

“Good. So what’s the issue?”

“Jack these are your fans, you really want them to see you actin all crazy?” His eyes met yours.

“Y/N I’m not gonna sit back and just watch these guys bring you all these gifts and take pictures. It was nice at first but now I’m starting to think some of them are hoping for a chance to get in your pants.” You scoffed.

“Cause I would let them right?” You sighed and walked up to him. You tilted your head up to look at him directly.

“Don’t worry about them, you’re here to enjoy yourself and your fans. People can get weird. Just let it slide and keep it cute.”

He looked away, making you bring your hand to his chin to look at you again.

“Go back out there, finish the meet and greet, laugh and have a good time. We’ll go get some food after and then we can head back to the hotel and I’ll show you I belong to you.”

A smirk appeared on your face and his eyes widened. He perked up and you giggled.

“Well, let’s wrap this shit up then!”

[howisavedtheworld]

we look good together | kyoutani kentarou

genre: tooth rotting fluff, probably the cutest thing ive ever written,,,kyoutani kentarou x fem!reader, established relationship :D

warnings: cursing, kissing, semi-making out but for like 2 seconds, taking pics in a photobooth

a/n: i got this idea from the photobooth videos on tik tok cus they make me yearn so so badly. decided to write this for kyou bc this little mad dog bitch has me in a chokehold, plus i know everyone likes to think hes like mean as hell and scary (i do too bc like thats so sexy) but when hes in love i promise hes so soft📜✍🏾

wc: 854 

kyoutani ruins your pictures.

not in a literal sense, but you’ve come to the realization that every time you snap a picture with him or of him, whether it’s off guard or planned, he looks effortlessly sexy. 

from the cut of his jaw to the slight pout of his lips, his annoyingly long eyelashes and the fact that you can always see his muscled build through his shirt, your boyfriend is the most photogenic little shit in the whole world.

it doesn’t help that he’s kinda smug about it, snickering when he takes bad pictures of you and watches you whine about how unfair it is.

still, he reassures you, peppering soft kisses all over your skin with his hands grabbing your waist. 

he’ll stare you down, copper eyes boring directly into yours, and he quickly swipes his tongue over his lips before murmuring, “but we look really fucking good together, don’t we, babe?”

you give in, of course. 

it’s not until you find yourself in a ramshackle photobooth in a hidden corner of the mall with kyoutani besides you that you start to understand the truth of his words.

“so….what am i supposed to do?” his head tilts awkwardly towards you, a few creases appearing in his forehead from his raised eyebrows.

you’re trying to adjust your hair in the small rectangular box that displays a fuzzy outline of the both of you. “uhh, i don’t know, ken, you’re the hot one in this relationship.”

“well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean i know what to do in a photobooth.”  

your head whips towards him in shock, blanching at his smirking face. “oh, so you agree with me?” 

“babe,” he grins, turning his face slightly towards the camera. “you know i’m kidding.” 

click.

you immediately wince as you get a glance of the first shot on the larger screen. your eyes are lidded and blurry and your mouth is contorted upwards in offense. and of course, there kyoutani is in all of his glory, grinning stupidly at the camera, showing off the dimples under his eyes, his veneer-like smile, his plump lips and his soft skin. 

“ken,” you whine. “i wasn’t ready!” 

he tries to hold his laughter back before inching closer to you. “here, it’s okay, look at the camera this time.” 

3.

you pout before your eyes turn to the small camera and you muster up your best smile. 

2.

kyoutani slings an arm around you and you lean into him. 

1.

click. 

your entire chest warms at the picture on the screen, noting the way his entire face is turned towards you and his eyes stare at you lovingly. you have the biggest goofy smile on your face, and his arm grips your shoulder.

“kennnn, this one’s so cute.” 

his cheeks turn pink while he sheepishly rubs a hand behind his neck. “i wasn’t even ready that time.” 

the third photo, you both mimic the classic “ice in my veins” pose, lips tucked between your teeth, eyes squinted and hand outstretched.

click.

by the last one, you’re a giggling mess and kyoutani is shaking his head, shyly smiling at how ridiculous you both look.

“okay, last one.” you turn to him, unsure of your last pose.

3.

“shit, what do we do?” his eyes travel between you and the camera.

2.

“uhh,” your voice trails off, awkwardly fiddling with your fingers in your lap.

1.

before you know it, one of kyoutani’s hands is pulling your face into a kiss, his other one instinctively wrapping around your neck.

click. 

you smile against his lips before kissing back, smelling the soft scent of his cologne and tasting the chapstick he applied just before the two of you got in the booth. 

he pulls you closer to him, one firm hand sliding down to rub your thigh. 

you gasp a little, and he chuckles before sliding his tongue against your bottom lip, sucking for a few seconds and pushing his tongue inside your mouth.

you pull away panting, knowing that if you went on for any longer, your body would completely melt into him.

“ken,” you mumble. 

“hm?” he turns your face to him before pressing a soft peck on your lips. 

“ken. public. remember?” you gesture to the photobooth you’re both still sitting in, and he rolls his eyes.

“yeah, well, what are they gonna do about me kissing my hot photogenic girlfriend?” 

you laugh while sliding out of the booth with him, grabbing the photos from the small opening at the base.

he wraps his hand around your waist, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as your fingers trace the cute pink hearts theme around the photos. 

“babe, did you choose that?” he snorts, squinting at the girly theme. 

“yeah,” you look up at him, trying to read his facial expression. “do you not like it?” 

his eyes glance at the pictures again and back to your wide eyes and he smiles. “no, i love it. really. told you we look good together. always. right?”

he presses a soft kiss on your forehead and your heart skips a beat. 

yeah, he’s definitely right.

[amazingphilza]

twitchcon :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some mcyt headcanons if you were to attend twitchcon w them

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

cw: kinda lengthy for the minors (i think), not as much for the hags LMAO /hj

tommyinnit

this man is so excited to be at his first twitchcon & being able to hang out with all his best friends makes it a hundred times better

when he isn’t at a panel or doing meet & greets, he’s dragging you everywhere to see the whole convention center (clingyinnit)

he is just so at awe despite this not being his first convention to attend

you’d be surprised he gets tired pretty quickly & stops over to the partner lounge

you both rest for a bit against a wall in a pretty packed hallway despite it being an exclusive area to twitch partners

every time a famous streamer walks by he will yell it out and record it then vlog your reaction, even if they’re surrounded with bodyguards & trying to get to another place quickly

he’d zoom in his camera to their face at a horrible angle and be like

“oh my god it is THE ninja. ninja famous fortnite player, HELLO.”

but he gets completely ignored

then the camera pans out to you, still really zoomed in that the capture is blurry

“ninjainnit?”

“EH?”

tommy is so confused, forgetting the bit ninja did on his twitter where he renamed himself ‘ninjainnit’ for a split second

okay tommy isn’t that athletic but he will chase you and the rest of your group down a hallway if he had to

he’d probably find a toy gun from the artist alley/seller booths and shoot you and wilbur with it

but if tommy stumbles across any of the dream team, it’s about to be minecraft manhunt but irl

and he will def play his stream music while walking or smth when he’s bored (or trying to jump dream & sapnap)

** DO DO DO DO MANHUNT MUSIC **

oh my god,, now thinking about it he’s probably the one to open like random doors of empty rooms and steal stuff while you film him

like he will take a random empty glass, a bunch of pens, a freebie t-shirt, everything he sees he takes with him and you’re just panic

“tommy we’re literally not supposed to be here, and i’m stuck here filming you. it’s surely a felony in action”

“well, it’s their fault for leaving the doors open! plus this is great content. who’s the dirty crime boy now, HM?”

you’d tell wilbur about this and he’d scold tommy and threaten him with the same pen tommy stole

tommy probably would also drag you some weird event happening outside twitchcon along with tubbo and ranboo

“pokimane is giving out free pizza to everyone if we go to this one restaurant down the street!”

“we are literally gonna get bombarded. have you forgot you’re like three of twitch’s top streamers? i’d rather pay for all of our meals than try getting free pizza from pokimane against all her other fans”

“DEAL! let’s go to five guys then!”

you unfortunately end up paying for all 3 of their meals and picking on their food instead of buying your own

even with all of them making way more money than you, they still happen to be cheapskates

OR tommy will end up getting a burrito from a taco truck, immediately making a mess of himself, then proceed to complain how messy the food is to eat despite knowing what he was getting himself into before even ordering

“shit my clothes are all ruined now!”

“well that’s your fault you got a burrito, as if it’s your first time having one”

“i mean the food is good, i’m not complaining about that but i don’t think it’s that good that it’s worth costing my red and white shirt, im just saying”

tubbo

same with tommy, he is so excited

i don’t know why but i imagine him overpacking his suitcase and you making fun of him for it

anyway tubbo has his irl backpack on and streaming EVERYTHING

probably spends a lot of time at a bunch of different booths, checking out all the pointless gadgets he could buy for his stream

you’re the one to stop him from doing so

“TUBBO IT’S LITERALLY OVER TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS, STOP. DONT GET IT.”

“WHY NOT?? IT WILL BE COOL FOR MY STREAM AND I WILL USE IT EVERYDAY”

“okay theoretically speaking, how the hell are you going to even bring it home? which—let me remind you—is across the country for you and not to mention the giant ocean separating america and the uk”

“free ship-pang!!!”

“i hate to break it to you tubbo but there is no way you can get free shipping on a FIVE FOOT PC. it’s nearly as tall as you! what are you even gonna do on it, hack the government???”

the arguments are all lighthearted but eventually you give in and let him splurge over a thousand dollars in different devices he claimed he “needed”

i could honestly see him visiting the beaches in san diego and going for a swim or even renting out a boat to use for a bit :D

also he’d bring benson along with him and taking a bunch of scenic photos with it in them

i have a feeling he’s the type to schedule a spontaneous meet & greet because he was bored & gets in trouble for causing a mob in a certain part of the convention

he’s like “oh god, i did not expect this many of the bois to show up AHAHAH oops”

tubbo would def pull a lilypichu and bring his melodica or ukulele and play themes while following random people/cosplayers

at the end of the day, you’d find his bag just stuffed with crap he either got for free or bought in the convention

“how did you get all that stuff? i was with you all day??? and it’s only the first day of the convention, hello?? it looks like you’ve been collecting as if twitchcon has went on for a week already!”

“HA i have my ways, do not underestimate my powers”

lani would probably tag along for the vacation honestly

like whenever someone comes up to her giving her gifts/asking for pics, you and tubbo would tease her about how famous she is

and i dunno but something about tubbo just gives me this amusement park energy and going to legoland and spending the whole day there since it’s near by and because he can

ranboo

he is like a beacon in a sea of people, that’s it .

i honestly just see him causing as much chaos as the other two

ranboo would probably like take someone’s camera whether if they’re streaming or if it’s for the vlog, hold it up high, and point the camera directly above someone’s face

it did not matter how tall you were and if you had platform shoes on, ranboo was a skyscraper next to you

“HAHAH this is how i see you from this height, this is funny”

then he shows you the vid of the recording of him getting like an aerial view of your face

like you see your nose and all your pores and just overall a bad angle to be captured in

“OH GOD RANBOO DELETE THAT, ITS HORRIFIC”

i dunno why but i feel like he’d jump scare every person that was cosplaying as his minecraft character from behind for some reason

“BOO!”

“ranboo i’m not even remotely dressed as your skin—”

“don’t worry i’m practicing it’s fineee”

“you’re like the height of 2 people combined, i think you will be fine as is. you even intimidated the security at the front”

i feel like if he had his own panel he’d like pull up some undertale song in the middle of it and scare all the people in the crowd

“lore but in real life”

probably would get some matching keepsake with you from artist alley/the booths!

i could imagine like a cute keychain or smth :D

i feel like he’s the type to like randomly volunteer as a participant for those mini events in a booth thinking it would be funny but regrets it the moment he’s on stage

after introductions the presenter is like “okay ranboo, you will be given a random meme prompt above your head you won’t be able to see until after and you will have to make a random face to compliment it!”

and you can just tell by his facial expression he’s just thinking

oh god what have i gotten myself into

what is this game? who came up with this idea?

you’d laugh at him the whole time, even after he’s off the stage and finished with that small fiasco

“that was horrible. never again.”

“AHAHAH IT LOOKED SO AWKWARD YOU DID GREAT”

“I CROSSED MY EYES AND PUFFED MY CHEEKS BECAUSE I COULDNT THINK OF ANY OTHER FACIAL EXPRESSION. THE PROMPT ENDING UP BEING ‘WHEN TWITTER CANCELS YOU FOR USING PLASTIC STRAWS.’ AND WHEN I SAW WHAT IT WAS—LITERALLY WHAT KIND OF GAME–”

“I GOT PICTURES AND EVERYTHING ITS PERFECT AHAHAHAH”

wilbur soot

honestly with wilbur it’s slightly more chill

he already experienced twitchcon before so he’s just glad to see his friends again after so long

insists that you explore the convention yourself rather than sticking with him the whole time but you do anyway!

wilbur would probably have like a mini concert and gets you front row seats with the rest of the group

but that doesn’t mean before it that you’re not helping him set up

“y/n please– my amp is so heavy, i can carry it”

“don’t worry! i’m strong” :D

and musically talented or not, he will probably bring you and the rest of his friends up to stage to just vibe and sing a bunch of random acoustic songs

it’s not like some big concert hall stage,, i imagine more like a casual thing w a slightly higher platform from the ground yk?

after spending a long day at the convention he’d also bring everyone across the city to la jolla or smth !

you’d all probably have dinner there and chill, watching the pretty sunset

“this place is really pretty but oh my god im gonna lose my breath hiking up this stupid hill, please slow down”

and wilbur is like ??? because he’s completely fine with his long legs and everything

“just walk faster”

“no, you walk slower”

AHAHAH and for context traversing through la jolla by walking around the town is a bit hard since it’s basically on a bunch of hills (walking up from the beach to a restaurant actually is actually sm work, trust me ive been there)

wilbur honestly doesn’t spend that much time in the actual convention center, he’s probably sightseeing a bit of san diego with you instead

but i could imagine him staying at the tabletop games area playing dnd or smth

“c’mon y/n, come join!”

“uhh i’m not sure, i’m not the best at roleplay and...”

“it’s fine don’t worry!”

he’d pull you in with him and end up enjoying yourself even if it was your first time

and if you’re of age, you’d be wilbur’s +1 at the twitch partner party and make sure mans doesn’t too drunk

if it’s not too late in the night, you two would chill at the beach after the party

it’s just a nice, calming moment after all the loud music mixed with hundreds of conversations at the party

also something about like taking polaroids pictures with wilbur just seems to go hand in hand for me

i’m not sure why but you will be taking lots of pics with wilbur for sure (not necessarily you both in the photo, but of sceneries as well while you’re together!)

philza

literally a dad on vacation with his children, it doesn’t matter how old you are

need sunscreen? surprisingly has it

want a snack? probably has a small granola bar somewhere in his bag

but same with wilbur, he’s more chill like this isn’t his first time at twitchcon

omg he’d def bring you to the artist alley and just buy a bunch of fanart and stuff tho

“oh wow look phil, someone made a giant poster of the dream smp and shit!”

“holy shit that’s so good what the fuck!”

and he’s like rushing to that artist’s stall to buy a poster or print

idk why but phil seems like the person to know where he’s going all over the convention center

he probably had a copy of the directory map but yk

you just have trouble reading it bc all the signs seem to be misleading to you

nothing really crazy screams out to me of what phil would do at twitchcon besides like go to a few events, spend a bunch of time w his friends, etc

HOWEVER i could see him wasting a lot of his time at the gaming area and testing new games that are currently on the works of being developed

like “woah y/n, this vr game is sick, you should try it out!”

ngl i feel like phil would plan a visit to disneyland for everyone, like he gets the tickets and everything but once you’re at the park it’s free reign, y’all go everywhere with not much of a plan

the minors would try to cheap out phil and pay less than the others even though everyone else fully paid phil back and everything LMAO

ok but if he’s feeling nice, phil will buy everyone cotton candy/pretzels :D

and if you’re not hungry, he’d at least get you a mickey balloon

HE WILL HAVE MATCHING MICKEY EARS WITH MUMZA YES .

ALSO STAYING FOR THE FIREWORKS THOUGH OMG

just in general, best idea phil had for taking everyone to disneyland :D

technoblade

surprisingly techno is really calm despite this being like one of his first conventions

but when he finally settles in and gets comfortable, he’s showing the same energy

if you’re playfully yelling, he will yell back

however there’s still those awkward moments that are unavoidable

idk why but something about him makes me think that if you feel tired and want to go back to your hotel room, he’d go with you just to make sure you get there safe

he probably also needs a break from being around everyone else for a moment too LMAO

i could also see him searching far and wide in the artist alley for fanart of himself AHAHAH

walking around with him in the convention consists of someone yelling “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” every 5 minutes but you don’t really mind

something about him makes me think he’ll be forced into playing minecraft twitch rivals along with the rest of sbi or smth

and he’s like “oh god, i’m going to be on stage? and people will see my face while i play minecraft?”

“i’m sure it will be fun!”

“i mean i like being competitive and feeding my ego, but i’m not that desperate.. well”

do i imagine techno getting easily tired of being surrounded by a bunch of people and just going back to his hotel room with phil and watching some anime with him? yes

and will you watch even if you have no idea what’s going on? also yes

i feel like after a while of you guys hanging out in techno’s room, the rest of the gang will just slowly join you guys

like eventually everyone is there; you, techno, phil, wilbur, niki, tommy, tubbo, ranboo, etc

and techno is like “wha– where did you guys come from?” because his room is basically packed

and niki could be like “oh we can go if you want!”

then techno just insists that she’s fine “but who let the child get in?” clearly implying tommy’s presence

“OI!!”

eventually techno gives in with the company and someone gets a bunch of board games to play from the front desk

lots of yelling and laughing for sure

when it becomes late at night, techno is like half conscious, you’re on your phone, wilbur is staring out the window & enjoying the night view, tommy is passed out on the couch from tiredness, tubbo & ranboo is still wide awake quietly talking, and phil & niki are helping clean up the giant mess

eventually everyone brings themselves to go back to their own room except tommy who won’t budge

you give techno a look and he immediately understands what you were thinking

he rushes to the bathroom to fill up two cups with ice cold water and handed one to you

���on three?”

“okay.. one”

“two”

“three!”

then both of you pour the water on the poor child’s face

he jolts awake and saying a string of curses

“what the fuck techno? y/n too?”

“get out” is the only think techno says that before tommy rushes out with his stuff and you leave right after

a/n: i honestly can’t wait until conventions open up again though,, phil and ranboo were talking about vidcon earlier and omg.

also i kinda want to take in tommy requests but i’m not sure??? it would be both cc! and c! x gn!reader for sure tho. i love writing him to bits but who knows, maybe i’ll only stick to my ideas,, or not. send in a tommy x reader request, might do it, might not, but he’s my fav cc if you can’t tell so! :D (i dunno if i will keep it strictly platonic, but unrequited crushes and stuff are fun to write hehe,,)

edit: let’s hope i fixed all the grammar mistakes LMAO we love writing late at night :) /s /hj

[mizunetzu]

Atsumu + Alcohol

If you make him drunk, I will hug you. Also, glad to see you’re back! :>

He’s drunk. Hug me. Now. But ehehe it makes me happy that you’re glad I’m back :,) NOW HERES DRUNK ATSUMU!

Also only @shiny-bun wanted to be tagged sobs reeeeeaaaal confidence booster I know :,)

——————

Atsumu x reader - Sweet, Sweet Lies Called Drunk Miya Atsumu

⚠️warnings - mentions of alcohol through the fic. reader records videos of atsumu drunk whenever he sees him. It isn’t in a sexual way at all; and reader doesn’t touch atsumu unconsentually at all. Just likes to watch him drunk bc he loves him still :,)

Also: FUCKING ANGST. you know it’s fuckign angsty when I got emotional writing it. Also, grammarly proof read it don’t trust it.

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

“I think we should break up.” 

(Y/n) blinked, before down casting his head. He said nothing for a while, before opening his mouth again bluntly.

“...ok.”

Atsumu furrowed his brows. He gripped the coffee mug resting on the cafe table just a bit harder. He certainly wasn’t expecting that answer. “...Ya aren’t gonna ask why? Yer just ok with it?”

“Well,” (Y/n) emotionlessly bit into a small biscuit. His expression was unreadable, blank like a piece of paper. “It’s not like I can change your mind, ‘Tsumu.”

“But...can I at least know why?”

The two went silent. Atsumu pursed his lips, trying to find the words to say while (Y/n) sat there expectantly. Eventually, Atsumu looked back up from his coffee mug.

“S’a lot of reasons, I think. ‘M busy with volleyball, ‘specially since it’s my job now,” Atsumu chuckled awkwardly. It was true, with the Black Jackals, he was being paid to do something he loved. “And...I...”

“I think I found a girl I really like.”

(Y/n) looked down at his lap numbly. He already knew it was coming, he wasn’t blind to the faint lipstick marks Atsumu tried to wipe away when he came home, or the smell of expensive perfume that stained him when he would come back from ‘practice’. He knew, he knew yet...

“Ah.”

Was all he could say.

——

Atsumu downed his third can of cheap beer, hissing loudly and slamming it down on the bar.

“I hate life! M’gonna fuckin’...! Run away and shit!”

Sakusa hummed. “Oh no. What happened now.”

Loud, irritating club music blared through the bar’s speakers. Atsumu slumped over the counter, making Sakusa and Bokuto lean back.

“Oi! ‘Tsum-Tsum! What’s wrong buddy?” Bokuto poked repeatedly at Atsumu’s head, making him groan and pathetically try and flick his hand away.

“M’...M’so sad...” Atsumu whimpered. Sakusa rolled his eyes while Bokuto frowned. Atsumu continued to mumble sadly into his arms until he slowly became more agitated, and whipped his drunken head up. 

“Shoyo’s got a nice boyfriend! That fuckin’...Kodzuken youtuber dude! Why can’t I! If I were Shoyo, I’d be laying on my boyfriend’s lap and bein’ all cute and shit —but here I am! Fuckin’ drinkin’ and bitchin’ and fuckin’...fuck! Fuckin’ Shoyo! Fuckin’ Kodzuken! Fuckin’—”

“But didn’t you just break up with that girl you were seeing for like, months now? Thought you were straight, man!” Bokuto said, playing with the little garnish on his drink. Atsumu deadpanned, swallowing thickly before letting his head thump down onto the table. 

“Thought I was. M’gayer than if unicorns shat me out.”

Sakusa sipped on his fancy, green drink. “Is this about (L/n)-san, again-“

“‘Course it’s about (Y/n)!”

Atsumu waved at the bartender to grab him another drink. The bartender looked him up and down, before shrugging and leaving off to grab another beer. Sakusa looked at Atsumu with a disappointed expression.

“You do realize that every time we drink, you get shit-faced drunk, complain about (L/n)-san, call (L/n)-san, then he picks you up and you wake up in his house because he’s too nice to refuse to pick you up. And you regret and bitch to me every single time.” Sakusa closed his eyes and took a long sip from his drink. “Honestly I don’t know why I still come with you guys if I know it’s gonna end up like this.”

“Hey! ‘Tsum-Tsum has his problems and he’s just letting them out!” Bokuto defensively waved his arms around, gesturing to Atsumu on the table, laying down his head in his arms. Both Sakusa and Bokuto were pretty sure he was ugly sobbing. Or at least babbling nonsense that sounded like sobs.

“He can’t even sit up straight. And Miya-san was the one who broke up with (L/n)-san for another girl. He has no right to be complaining.”

“S-Still! ‘Tsumu’s the homie! Let him rant!” Bokuto chugged down his drink. 

Sakusa fished his phone out of his pocket. He scrolled down his list of contacts, before clicking on one that read ‘(L/n)-san. (Atsumu’s pick-me-up)’. The phone’s screen turned black, displaying (Y/n’s) profile pic with a ‘contacting...’ right under it in fine print. 

“Sure, Bokuto-san. Whatever you want.”

——

“Fuckin’...let go of me, Omi!” Atsumu slurred. He, however, made no attempt to push Sakusa off as he dragged him outside the bar. Bokuto had long gone, and Atsumu was a few drinks overdue for his trip home. 

Sakusa sighed, standing out in the cold with his mask pulled up to his face. Atsumu lolled his head onto Sakusa’s shoulder, either in an attempt to push him off or just pure drunkenness. “Don’t drool on me, Miya-san.” Sakusa cringed.

Atsumu was about to retort back, until both his and Sakusa’s attention was drawn to a home-y, black car that pulled up right in front of them. The driver’s door clicked open, and someone in a baggy sweater and sweatpants emerged from the car. 

“Please take him, (L/n)-san. I’m sorry for always calling you to-”

“It’s fine!” (Y/n) chuckled, opening the passenger’s side door for Sakusa to throw Atsumu’s body in. “‘Tsumu’s been drinking a lot, huh? Isn’t this the third time this month I had to pick him up?” 

Atsumu groaned when Sakusa clipped in his seatbelt. He sighed when Atsumu began tugging at it like a child, not knowing how to unbuckle it himself. “Actually, it’s the fourth time. But he has a reason today, I think.”

“He finally broke up with Yumena-san.”

Breath hitched in (Y/n’s) throat. He covered his shock up with a smile, however, and closed the car door with Atsumu in it. “Aw. Well, I better uh, drive him home, now. Bye-bye, Sakusa-kun.”

Sakusa nodded. (Y/n) stepped into his car tentatively. Ignoring the way Atsumu was still tugging at his seatbelt, he started up the car, and drove. 

“I’m...sure you won’t mind sleeping over at my place again...right, ‘Tsumu?” (Y/n) mumbled, more to himself than to the drunktard sprawled out onto his car seat. He silently unlocked his phone, tapping on the camera app and propping his phone up on his dash. He hit record, and withdrew his hand back to the steering wheel. Atsumu eyed it suspiciously, before shrugging it off sleepily.

“Naaaah…” Atsumu slurred. He threw his head haphazardly onto the armrests separating his seat from (Y/n’s), trying to get as close to his ex as possible. “Yer apartment smells good...I miss it...I miss you…”

Shifting so he was still laying on the armrest, Atsumu tucked his arm under his head like a pillow. “Yer so...pretty…love you so much...”

(Y/n) pursed his lips. Atsumu smiled dumbly, pointing a finger gun at (Y/n). “We should-you and I should like, totally get back together n’ shit…” Atsumu stopped, letting out a hiccup, before continuing. “I miss you...n’ I love you…”

Stopping at a red light, (Y/n) looked down at Atsumu, who was staring back at him with half-lidded eyes. (Y/n) averted his gaze, chuckling awkwardly. “...You don’t mean that. You’re just drunk.”

Atsumu shot up. “But I do! M’so sad without you!” Atsumu loosened his seatbelt enough so he could rest his face on (Y/n’s) forearm. “You were the best thing in my life, n’ I need you back! I love you so muuuuuuch!”

(Y/n) stayed quiet for a second, glancing at his camera pointed directly at Atsumu nuzzling his face into his arm. He slowed the car to a stop, taking out his keys and pressing the ‘Stop’ button on his phone. He slipped both of them into his pockets.

“We’re here. C’mon, get up.” (Y/n’s) voice was barely above a whisper. After sitting in his car for a while, he finally got up, and walked over to the other side to haul Atsumu’s corpse-of-a-body out of his seat. “Fuck...sometimes I wish my apartment wasn’t on the third floor-’Tsumu! You can walk if I support you, right? I’m not carrying you.”

Atsumu pressed all his weight against (Y/n). “What if I want my boyfriend to carry me like a princess n’ shit…”

“I’m-” (Y/n) swallowed. His voice was quiet and shaky again. “I’m not your boyfriend. You say stupid things when you’re drunk...”

Atsumu was about to protest, when (Y/n) looped his arm under his own arm. 

“Let’s go. You need rest.”

The walk to (Y/n’s) apartment was silent.

——

Atsumu pouted, eyeing down the way Kenma was showing a video on his phone to Hinata and smiling. Hinata grinned widely, his eyes glued to Kenma’s phone screen until an obnoxious sigh drew his eyes away. 

“Why’d ya even invite me here...M’just third wheelin’ on yer guys's little date time.” Atsumu frowned, dramatically slumping in his seat. Kenma hunched his shoulders down, suddenly becoming very aware of the way Atsumu not-so-subtly stared him down. He brought his coffee cup to his lips, trying to hide behind the cup itself. 

Hinata defensively wrapped his arms around Kenma. “Oiiiii! We invited you over because you always get super-duper depressed after waking up hungover at (L/n’s)!”

“I’m more depressed now that yer all cuddly-wuddly with yer frickin’ boyfriend while m’sitting here with my single ass!”

“Miya wakes up hungover at (Y/n’s)?” Kenma quietly asked Hinata. He nodded. Atsumu started flailing his arms around, trying to get Hinata to stop talking, but he didn’t seem to take the hint.

“Every time he goes drinking, he ends up crying about how much he still loves (L/n)—and ends up either calling him or someone else calls him to go pick him up. Either way, he wakes up super embarrassed and awkward in (L/n’s) bed and sulks the rest of the time at practice.” 

Atsumu sat there, feeling like he’d been shoved to the front of a volleyball court completely naked. Kenma blinked, before looking down again.

“Oh.”

“That’s all yer gonna say-!?”

“I guess it kind of makes sense, now.”

Atsumu stopped mid-sentence, looking at Kenma with a confused expression. Kenma tried to dodge Atsumu’s eyes again, this time tugging on Hinata’s sleeve.

“...What makes sense now?”

Kenma had the look of ‘I said too much.’, trying to change the topic or hoping Hinata would swoop in and change it for him. But alas, no such thing happened. “I don’t think (Y/n) would…”

Hinata suddenly tugged back at Kenma’s sweatshirt, gesturing to turn around with him for a private conversation. They both turned their heads, mumbling out little ‘video-!’, ‘(Y/n)-!’ and ‘Atsumu-!’s here and there. Atsumu glanced from Hinata, to Kenma, before pouting that he’d been left out of the conversation.

Eventually, both Kenma and Hinata turned around again, looking directly at Atsumu. He stared back at them with doe-like confused eyes, when Kenma fished out his phone. 

“If we show you, you promise to act like you never knew at all?” Hinata childishly extended his pinky finger out to Atsumu, to which he nodded vigorously and hooked his own pinky with his. Kenma piped up.

“The reason I said it made sense was because I found a folder in (Y/n’s) phone titled, and I quote: ‘Sweet, Sweet, Lies called Drunk Miya Atsumu (watch when sad)’. They’re filled with video’s of you, drunk, blabbing about how much you love him.”

Atsumu stared at Kenma.

“Yer fuckin’ lyin’.”

“I’m...really not.” Kenma turned his phone screen around, displaying a video filmed in what seemed to be (Y/n’s) car. Atsumu leaned down and peered at the video, seeing his head frozen in place in the corner of the screen. Kenma felt around for the play button, tapping until it started playing. 

Atsumu watched the video in horror, his face going milk white as he watched himself cry and sob about how much he wanted to get back with (Y/n). Right in front of him. The video ended, and Atsumu looked up with the hope of getting hit with a bus. 

“How...did you get-”

“I airdropped this one to myself when (Y/n) was in the bathroom one day because I found this one funny.” Kenma mumbled, turning his phone around and inspecting the screen. “There’s millions of them on his phone, this one isn’t even the worst. Some of them are in his apartment when he’s trying to get you into bed, and I think there’s one where you beg him to cuddle with yo-”

“Stop! Stop! No more!” Atsumu covered his face, embarrassed. Kenma let his mouth fall shut, while Hinata snickered into his drink. Atsumu let his head smack onto the table. “What did I do to deserve this…”

“Hey!” Hinata quipped, his positive voice making Atsumu’s brain hurt. “You know what that means, right?”

“That (Y/n) probably wants blackmail or revenge on me for breaking up with him?” Atsumu grumbled into his hands.

“Wh-no, what,” Kenma said. “He means-”

“(L/n) still loves you! I mean-he saves videos of you saying you love him to watch when he is sad or lonely or whatever, that means he loves you still! It was even in the title!”

Atsumu glared at Hinata like he was squinting at the sun. Kenma shrugged. 

“S’true. He told me himself he watches them when he goes to sleep n’stuff.”

“Yer lyin’.”

“Was he lying when he showed you the video?” Hinata raised his eyebrow. 

Atsumu opened his mouth, before letting it clamp shut and shaking his head ‘no’.

——

Clinging to his side like a kicked puppy, (Y/n) found himself nursing a drunk, sobbing Atsumu at his apartment once more. 

“Tsum-” (Y/n) struggled to stick his key in his door’s keyhole with the way Atsumu was quite literally hanging off him. It was like he was trying to pull (Y/n) to the ground with him. “Atsumu! I’m trying to-”

“Don’t leaaaaave meeee! I love you!” Atsumu sobbed. He wiped his messy face onto (Y/n’s) jacket. 

Finally sticking the key inside and turning it, (Y/n) pushed open the door and patted at Atsumu’s ruffled hair. “I’m not leaving, ‘Tsumu. Just taking you to bed, is all. We’re still...friends...I think.”

“Don’t wanna be your friend.” Atsumu sniffled, as he staggered into (Y/n’s) room with the support of his body. He was thrown on the bed with a loud groan, as (Y/n) went to grab his phone. “We were meant to be together...boyfriends...soulmates…!”

“I wish you meant that,” (Y/n) chuckled, setting up his phone, pointing it at his bed and pressing record. “Gave it up after the fifth time you came here sloppy drunk, though. It really is just you talking out of your ass.”

The hint of bitterness in (Y/n’s) voice increased unsteadily, wavering like a candlelight. “I-I mean, you say all these nice things-then the next morning you either deny everything you said, or leave before I can even say goodbye! Or you don’t even remember most of the time!”

(Y/n’s) disgruntled laugh made Atsumu blink. He eventually simmered down, looking down at the floor and busying himself with searching through his desk. 

“That’s okay though. I have these little videos of your lies to keep me company. I can live with that just fine.” (Y/n) turned to Atsumu, holding up painkillers and setting them atop the desk. “...Sorry for problem-dumping on you, ‘Tsumu. I know you want sleep.”

“Don’t take these yet. They’re for tomorrow.” (Y/n) rattled the painkillers in their box, before producing a water bottle and extending it to Atsumu. He looked at the bottle like it was some foreign object. The water sloshed around when (Y/n) swirled it around Atsumu’s face. “It’s for your hangover tomorrow. Drink up, ‘Tsum-Tsum.”

“Only if you cuddle with me.”

(Y/n) pursed his lips. “No.”

“Then m’not drinkin’ the fuggin’ water!”

“Atsum-!” (Y/n) sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He set down the bottle of water on his nightstand, and rested his hands on his hips. “...If I give you a tiny hug, will you drink all the water and go to sleep?”

Atsumu nodded vigorously.

(Y/n) expected him to stand up and give him a hug, but instead, he opened his arms and sat expectantly, waiting for something to crawl between them. He was so far back on the bed, (Y/n) would probably have to lay awkwardly in his chest until he was satisfied.

So that's what (Y/n) did, after what felt like hours of contemplating and clenched jaws. He bit his lip, climbing slowly towards Atsumu on the bed. Atsumu smiled dumbly, and scooped him up in his arms like a claw machine. 

What Atsumu didn’t expect, was (Y/n) to stiffen up, surprised, before melting into his arms pathetically. He clumsily wrapped his arms around Atsumu’s torso, his body curling into the shape of his own like dough. He let his head slump in the crook of Atsumu’s neck, taking in a shaky, deep breath and sighing heavier than he meant to. 

(Y/n) figured he must’ve forgotten how much he relished being wrapped up in Atsumu’s arms, because he found himself not wanting to let go of Atsumu’s shirt that reeked of alcohol.

Still, after what was probably only a few candid seconds, (Y/n) pushed himself away from Atsumu, who slumped back on the bed confused, and wobbled his way back onto his feet. 

“There…” (Y/n) breathed. He had the most unreadable expression, and his voice was quiet and raspy. “Now-now drink th-the water...you promised.” 

Atsumu shrugged, swiping the water from the nightstand, and chugging it sloppily. (Y/n) went to work removing Atsumu’s socks, pants, and other things uncomfy to sleep in, until he was left in his boxers and t-shirt. Atsumu stared at (Y/n) sleepily, as he grabbed a spare pillow and blanket, and threw them on the swivel chair near his desk.

“...Y-Yer not gonna sleep here with me?”

(Y/n) furrowed his eyebrows, reaching over to stop his phone from recording, and curled up on the chair with his pillow. His voice was meek under the thin blanket he wrapped himself in. “You always ask, and i’ll always say no. Honestly I don’t know why you keep asking.”

“You look cold.”

“I’m...really not.”

“S’comfier on the bed.”

“...I like this chair.”

“I can scoot over-”

“Miya, if I give in and cuddle with you, everythings gonna be sunshine and rainbows ‘til the next morning—where you wake up next to me and regret everything! I’m-i’m trying to save your dignity here so stop asking!” (Y/n) croaked. He clutched his blanket tighter. “You’re drunk! You aren’t thinking! I already gave your-your stupid hug so stop it! How do you think I feel!?”

Atsumu rubbed at his head. (Y/n’s) hot face immediately flushed out, his voice quieting down back into his normal voice. 

“Ah...I’m...sorry. You’re...tired and I probably shocked you with my-by being loud n’stuff.” (Y/n) bowed his head slightly, before shifting away from Atsumu in his little swivel chair. “Sorry. Go to sleep now. Night, ‘Tsumu.”

When he heard shifting on the bed, (Y/n) grabbed his earphones and turned out the light. Plugging in his earphones hurriedly, he switched on his phone, clicking on the photos app and on today's video of Atsumu to cheer him up. He even caught the hug on camera, so he was looking forward to that. 

Dimming his phone's brightness to not disturb Atsumu, (Y/n) scrolled through the video, everything moving in fast-motion until (Y/n) saw himself climb into Atsumu’s arms. He paused the video there, smiling numbly, and taking a screenshot. 

Before he could add the video to the rest of his collection of drunk-sumu videos, he was suddenly hauled up and hanging upside down. He was tossed over Atsumu’s shoulder, not even having time to protest before he was thrown carefully onto his own bed. 

“Hey-Tsu-” Atsumu said nothing, climbing into the bed gracefully after (Y/n) and pulling the covers over the both of them. “Listen to me-! Let me go-!”

“If yer gonna keep sayin’ shit like...like i’ll regret it in the mornin’...fuckin’... let me,” Atsumu slurred. (Y/n) opened his mouth to speak, but Atsumu beat him to it. “S’my fault…’n...m’gonna deal with it in the mornin’. S-so lemme hold you.”

(Y/n) knitted together his eyebrows, looking conflicted on what he should do. He’d been so, so good at restraining himself from stealing hugs and kisses from Atsumu when he was drunk, and his reward was the videos. If he messed it up now, would Atsumu be too embarrassed to let himself get picked up by (Y/n) when he was drunk? Was he really willing to potentially give up future lovey-dovey drunk videos, and seeing Atsumu tell him he loved him for one night in his arms again?

He was. 

(Y/n) relaxed, a numb expression on his face. He was just about done. One last time of drunk Atsumu holding him for a whole night, then it was time to move on. Hell, maybe after tonight, and after explaining to a very-embarassed hungover Atsumu in the morning that “No, we did not have sex,” maybe, just maybe, he would finally delete the videos. The video’s of his ex who didn’t love him anymore, feeding him drunk lies of ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’, and finally moving on with his life. 

(Y/n) ran his fingers through his hair, and let out a tuckered-out sigh. Maybe after he stopped clinging to the past, he could be normal friends with Atsumu Miya again. 

(Y/n) looked at Atsumu with dry eyes. He let himself succumb to Atsumu’s warm chest, breathing in his scent for what could possibly be the last time. Atsumu purred happily, adjusting so he could wrap both arms around (Y/n), using one as a pillow for him and another to wrap around his body. (Y/n) hummed dryly.

Atsumu giggled. “...Love you...so much.”

(Y/n), for once out of all the time’s he’d always respond with ‘No, you don’t.’ or ‘You’re just drunk.’, said:

“I love you too.” 

“...hehe...he…” Atsumu kissed the crown of (Y/n’s) forehead, before nuzzling it with his nose. “I love you sososo much.”

(Y/n) was quick to respond, even though his throat began closing up and making it hard to speak. You could probably tell he was on the verge of tears. “Me too, ‘Tsumu. I love you most.”

“I love you so much…” Atsumu began, this time his voice way more clearer and sober than what he’d been speaking with this whole night. 

“...That i’d pretend m’drunk just to see you again.”

“...”

(Y/n) blinked, not quite processing his words. He shrunk inside Atsumu’s cage-like arms, before timidly meeting Atsumu’s eyes. They seemed much clearer, less hazy from ‘alcohol’, and they stared back at him with it’s usual ‘Atsumu’ look.

“...huh…?”

Atsumu patted (Y/n’s) head. “Yer so cute. I love you so much.”

“Wh-wait-” (Y/n) tried to wriggle his way out of Atsumu’s arms. “You-you’re not-”

“Nope. All I did at the bar tonight was watch Bokkun and Shoyo-kun drink so i’d smell like alcohol. Then I told—well, paid Omi-Omi to call you sayin’ I was drunk again, so I could see what stupid shit I did at your place when I was drunk.”

“Though,” Atsumu nodded at the discarded phone on the ground, next to (Y/n’s) makeshift swivel chair-bed. “I could've just asked to see that video of me. Or the rest of them, ‘coordin’ to Kozume-kun.”

(Y/n) sputtered, trying to find the words to speak, but finding himself too embarrassed to. He’d, finally, been caught red-handed. 

He sighed, casting his head down, before crawling out of his bed and taking the walk of shame to his phone. “...You caught me,’Tsu...Atsumu. Caught me real good, Atsumu.”

(Y/n) scrolled through his phone, searching for the album full of his drunk video’s of Atsumu. He clicked on it, then waved his phone around guiltily. He turned the phone around, peering down at it sheepishly. “Don’t worry, I’ll delete all of these...and I...I can drive you home if you want.”

“Nah. M’pretty comfy here.” Atsumu laid back down. “I’d be comfier if you were in my arms again, though.”

Atsumu made grabby arms towards (Y/n). (Y/n) blinked, searching Atsumu for any sort of satire. He found none, and nervously inched toward Atsumu until he was pulled back into his chest. The phone was, once again, forgotten on the floor. 

“Wheeeeeey, there we go~” Atsumu nestled down onto the bed, crooning (Y/n) in his arms and stroking his head. “Ain’t that comfy.”

He pressed a small kiss to (Y/n’s) forehead. “Love you. Goodnight~”

“...Wait, n-no you-”

Atsumu pressed another kiss onto (Y/n’s) face, promptly shutting him up. He tried speaking again, just to have another kiss placed onto his face. This cycle went on, (Y/n) trying to voice out his protests just to be hushed with kisses all over his face, until he reduced into a pile of hot tears, melting his face off raw. 

Atsumu kissed (Y/n’s) tears away. When more kept coming, Atsumu pulled back, stroking (Y/n’s) hair as gently as he could. Gentle was not a word to describe Miya Atsumu, but he sure as hell would try. 

“Stop cryin’...” Atsumu whispered, kissing another falling tear away. “I came here to win ya back, not make you cry…”

“I-I’m sorry-” (Y/n) sobbed out between hics. “I just- I missed you so-”

“I did too.” 

They sat there, small hics coming from (Y/n) as Atsumu quietly stroked his hair, and in all honesty, they would have laid there forever. But (Y/n) finally wriggled his way out Atsumu’s grasp, timpering his way to his phone. 

He picked it up, fiddling with it, before turning his phone screen around. Atsumu leaned closer. 

‘Sweet, Sweet, Lies called Drunk Miya Atsumu (watch when sad) - 0 videos’

“Deleted them all.” (Y/n) murmured. “Figured I wouldn’t need them anymore now that I got you here…”

Atsumu blinked before erupting into a wide smile. He sprang off the bed and attacked (Y/n) with a big, bear hug. “You bet yer ass you won’t!” 

He peppered kisses around (Y/n’s) face, and instead of crying, (Y/n) began to smile.

“Stop it-that tickles! ‘Tsumu-!” The red tear stains on (Y/n’s) face were barely noticeable under the flurry of kisses he was under. Atsumu grinned stupidly into (Y/n’s) skin.

“Ya know full well you don’t want me to.”

And he didn’t.

Atsumu pressed one final kiss to (Y/n’s) face, this time, and for the first time in a long time: on his lips.

——————

I’m really proud of this 👉👈 I’d like it if I could get a lil,,,reblog,,,with thoughts,,,or comments,,,aha ha ha,,,

Lil thing I found funny

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Four. "You hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"

warnings: swearing but that’s it (i think)! just karl being a goof and dream being a little shit but whats new word count: 3k (not ncluding pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

**********

.

Y/n  sat to Karl's left, out of the camera's view as he scrolled through Twitter on his PC.

"Um... oh, how did you guys meet?" Karl read before looking offscreen at Y/n. "Uh... school?"

"What? I was going to make up a funny story but I'm appalled by the seriousness in your voice! Is that really how you think we met?"

The embarrassment on his face answered her question. "Karl! I'm two years younger than you, how would we meet have met at school?"

"I don't know!" he said back defensively, raising his shoulders. "Clubs?"

"Like I was in any of the nerd clubs you were in."

"Well, then, how did we meet?"

Y/n sighed with a laugh. "Our moms–"

"Oh, wait wait, I remember!" he cut her off, excitedly looking towards Y/n. "Our moms are friends and they forced us to hang out." He smiled proudly and looked back to his screen as he continued scrolling for good questions. "If I'm honest, I only still hang out with you because my mom makes me."

Y/n smacked Karl's arm and he laughed but pretended to be hurt. "WHAT THE HONK, BUGSY?!"

"I can't stand you. I barely hit you, nimrod."

Karl giggled and read another one. "How tall is Bugsy? Two feet, four inches."

"No, I'm 7'6," Y/n lied easily and Karl laughed.

"How tall are you actually?"

'I think 5'10 or something? Maybe 5'11. I'm not 6' but I'm taller than you for sure, I know that much–"

"Okay, you are not taller than me. Just to be clear. Chat, Bugsy is not taller than me."

"Yes, I am. Wanna test it?"

"No," he replied quietly in defeat.

"Because you know I'm right," Y/n laughed as her eyes flicked over to read chat. They were spamming their surprise, expecting her to be short. "Yeah, no, chat, I'm tall. I'm taller than Karl."

"Only because your shoes make you tall! Doc Martens are tall and that's pretty much all you wear!"

"You're shorter than me when I'm barefoot!"

"That's literally false. Like completely."

"Just accept it, shorty."

"I'll accept that you're taller than George and Sapnap, but not me. I'm barely taller than you but I'm still taller."

"Whateverrrr. I'll move on to protect your dignity."

Karl ignored her and laughed, pointing to a message from Dream in Karl's chat.

"Dream said I have short girl energy," Y/n read.

"You kinda do."

"What does that even mean?"

"You're shy around new people and you act all sweet."

"So tall girls can't be shy and sweet? Or shy and sweet girls can't be tall?"

"Stop twisting my words," Karl groaned.

"Also, wait, what do you mean I act sweet? Am I not?"

"No, you are. But I mean you also aren't when you don't want to be. Upset Bugsy is scary Bugsy."

Y/n frowned, not recalling a time she's ever been angry or upset at Karl but she let him move on. He pointed to another tweet as he looked at Y/n, giving her an 'I told you so' look. She read it before shaking her head at him.

"Don't read that one."

"Pleeease, can I answer?"

"No!" she whisper-shouted. I don't want to be shipped with him for asking or you for answering, she mouthed so Karl's chat couldn't put together clues.

"Are you assuming I'll answer positively?" he teased, earning him a hard smack on the arm.

Y/n couldn't help but notice every time she put her hands in the frame, which was usually to hit Karl, half of the chat turned into simps requesting a hand pic because they could see her bracelets and nail polish and now that they knew she was tall they wanted to see how big her hands were. They really wanted every crumb of content they could have regarding her looks. She caught one that said something pretty kinky about her hands which she tried to scrub from her mind immediately.

"Fine," Karl sighed at her request to not read Dream's tweet out loud, instead reading another. "Bestie sleepover? Yes! Bestie sleepover! Bugsy and I are gonna cuddle all night--"

"No, we aren't. I'm sleeping on a completely different bed. Or couch. Nowhere near you."

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME?"

"Karl! Stop trying to get me to cuddle with you!" Y/n laughed as she pushed away his arms, which were trying to give her a hug. "You're a freaking heater and I don't like touching people!"

"That's my worst nightmare in a friend, how did I end up with you?"

"No idea. Deal with it. It's still a bestie sleepover even if we don't cuddle."

Karl giggled and looked back at his stream. "Oh, by the way, in case anyone ever wanted to know or was Dreaming about it, Bugsy is very cute. Just thought I'd mention it in case anyone was wondering or if anyone tweeted specifically asking..."

Y/n smacked his arm again as she yelled, "Karl!"

He grabbed his arm in dramatic pain as if it had been cut off. "Ow! Ow! Bugsy hit me!" he cried as he fell to the floor. "Oh my gosh. Someone call a doctor!"

"I cannot stand you," Y/n  informed as she stared down at him. She glanced at chat, who were all joking about how bad his condition was, saying things like they might have to amputate his arm. "Chat, don't encourage him. Oh, Karl I know what we can do!"

"As long as I don't need two arms for it..." his voice still laced with fake pain.

"Karl Jacobs."

"What is it?"

"Give me a tour of Dream's SMP. Dream whitelisted me yesterday."

"Oh, yeah! What could have possibly made you think of him?" he teased as he got back in his chair.

Y/n glared at him and he cowered slightly.

"Minecraft, yes. There's a PC in the other room you can play on. Do you need help setting it up?"

"No, I've streamed once or twice," Y/n teased as she stood up.

"I'm just trying to be a good host! Gosh!"

"Wait, I have to cross over to leave the room."

"Just do it? What's the issue? Literally no problem, just walk?" he joked before zooming in his camera on his face so it took up the whole screen. Y/n laughed as she went across the room, chat now forced to look at disturbingly close footage of Karl staring directly into the camera with his eyes crossed.

Y/n called Karl on Discord after logging in. "Hi, Karl and Karl's stream."

"Are you on yet?"

"I'm logging in to my Minecraft account right now."

"Okay, join a vc on the smp discord so others can talk to us if we run into anyone. I'll be over in a minute, just give me a bit to read some donations." They both muted, leaving Y/n to herself.

She typed in the IP address to the server and joined a random voice channel that no one was in. She spawned and looked around, confused by the cobblestone wall around her. Her phone lit up so she occupied herself with the texts from Naomi.

A green figure caught her eye on the screen and she looked up. In the distance was Dream's infamous green Minecraft skin punching the air as he faced her. He ran towards her and stopped in front of her. She set her phone down and slid it away, crouching as his character did the same.

Dream whispers to you: are you streaming you whisper to Dream: no but Karl is and he's about to get on to tour me Dream whispers to you: hmmm okay here

He uncrouched and dropped a few diamond blocks before punching the air again and running away.

Dream whispers to you: shh don’t tell anyone you whisper to Dream: omg :D ty <3 you whisper to Dream: first twitch donos now mc donos you whisper to Dream: rich man over here giving out money and diamonds to everyone like it's candy Dream whispers to you: no, only to you Dream whispers to you: a little gift before our date ;) Dream whispers to you: oh and this

He came back and paused in front of Y/n before dropping a red poppy and sprinting away again. She acted cool despite the huge smile on her face.

you whisper to Dream: charming you whisper to Dream: you give me a flower and dart away before I can properly thank you Dream whispers to you: oh yeah? how would you have thanked me?

Y/n smiled, her cheeks flaming up as a dirty thought entered her mind. Stop, he's not flirting, she told herself. It’s literally a block game and he’s not flirting.

you whisper to Dream: guess we'll never know ;) KarlJacobs joined the game

"I'm back," Karl's voice filled her headset as he joined her voice channel, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Where are you?"

Y/n looked away from the chat in Minecraft and turned around in the game. "Still at spawn. Some forest and cobblestone walls."

"Go left and I'll meet you halfway."

As she ran, the Minecraft chat reappeared with new messages for everyone to see.

<Dream> hey Karl <KarlJacobs> hello Dream <Dream> thanks for answering my question on your stream <KarlJacobs> just doing my civil duty as a bugsy dream shipper <KarlJacobs> official petition for the name to be dreamsy <Dream> signed

"Oh my gosh," Y/n muttered, making Karl laugh.

"What?" Karl asked innocently, but his laugh was maniacal. "Oh, I found you. This way! I built everything on the server, by the way. So if anything is impressive, just remember that I did it."

"Karl, that's the biggest lie you've ever told me. I watch the lore videos."

"Well, I did build it all so I don't know what to tell you. Let's go this way first."

Y/n followed as he showed her stuff, including background and unknown facts about things that have happened off stream. After the tour, they messed around the chessboard. At some point, she found a blue cornflower and turned to Karl.

"Do you have an anvil?"

"I don't exactly have one on me at the moment but I think there's one over here. What for?"

She killed some chickens with her fist to gain XP so she could carry out the task in mind. "I need to name this flower I found." She followed him a few blocks away and clicked the anvil and named the flower 'love, bug'. "Okay, thanks."

"Why did you name it?"

"It's a gift for someone."

"Me?" he asked as his character jumped up and down.

"No. My presence is your gift."

"Ouch. You know, honestly, I'm really hurt by that. Like, why would you say that to me? It's just sorta rude."

"Fine, I'll go get you a flower."

"Well, I don't want it if it isn't sincere. Who's that one for?"

"...no one."

"Tell me or I'll keep complaining about not getting a gift."

"I can deal with that."

"Okay, then tell me or I'll make you sleep in my bed and I'll smother you to death with my affection."

"Ah, okay, fine. It's for Dream."

"Wow you really hate me that much!" Karl laughed.

"No, I'm just not touchy like you!" she defended. She always worried she offended Karl since he was so physically affectionate towards his friends but she just wasn't a physical person.

"Oh, speaking of Dream..." he turned and Y/n followed his characters line of sight, having to zoom in to see the green figure perched at the top of a tree.

"He's very menacing."

"He does that."

<Bugsy> come here pls dream <Bugsy> i have a gift :]

Dream ran towards Y/n and stopped in front of her expectedly. She looked at Karl then back at Dream and dropped the gift, backing up after and crouching.

His character picked it up and held it, pausing to read the name. After a moment, he slowly looked up at Y/n's character before jumping and spinning in circles. Y/n hid her smile in her sleeve even though no one could see her.

<Dream> wait lemme see the one I gave you <Bugsy> what D: <Dream> I wanna name it

"What is going on?" Karl giggled.

"Gift exchange. Mind your own business."

"Woah!" Karl gasped dramatically. "Uncalled for."

Dream came back and dropped the renamed flower for her. Y/n picked it up and hovered over it to read the name.

'host, dream'

She gasped and started punching his character. He backed up and ran away but joined the call seconds later.

"Wait! Stop hitting me!" Dream yelled into her headset.

Y/n laughed, trying to contain her smile as she continued to hit the green character. "Dream! Are you kidding? I tried being all cute and you hosted me?? In MINECRAFT??"

"It was a joke! You said something like that to Wilbur on Twitter a while ago, I was just using your humor!" Dream's giggles filled Y/n's headphones and she smiled but quickly dropped it so her voice could sound serious.

"Give it back."

Dream looked at her before letting out a small, "What?"

"Give me back the flower so I can go burn it with the other one."

"Bugsy!"

"What is going on?" Karl asked through a cackle. "Dream, did you hurt Bugsy??"

"Yes, Karl! He hurt my feelings! He gave me a flower and gave it back to name it something mean!"

Dream just laughed so Y/n punched him again.

"Dream! You can't hurt Bugsy!" Karl defended, also punching Dream.

All Y/n could hear was the sound of Dream wheezing, his character running as the two chased him. "Stop! You guys are so– STOP HITTING ME!"

"Fine," Y/n finally said, crouching and facing the ground as she walked into a corner to look like she was pouting. "I'm just not going to go on any Minecraft dates anymore."

"Wait, no," Dream protested in a soft voice, his character stopping to look at her's. "Take that back."

"Heart been broke so many times..."

"You're so stupid."

Karl gasped happily. "You guys have a Minecraft date? Can I help plan it?!"

"We did. In exchange for letting you give me the tour. But I've changed my mind since I've been so betrayed."

"Oh my gosh, you're so..." Dream trailed off but his wide smile could be heard through his voice.

"So what? Finish that sentence, Dream," Y/n dared teasingly.

"So... ANNOYING!"

"DREAM! SAY YOU'RE SORRY!" Karl yelled.

"Okay! I'm sorry! Bug, I'm so sorry. Really. Please let me... let me rename your flower something cute. It'll make you so happy that you'll fall in love with me all over again and–and we can go on our date. Please don't burn our flowers."

"And what if I don't give them to you?"

"I'll just kill you and pick them off your corpse."

"Woooooowwww. Okay, it's like that?"

"Yes, it is like that," he said through a smile. It was so apparent in his voice that he was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning.

<Ranboo> how is the tour going Bugsy was shot by Dream using DEFINITELY NOT PENIS <Ranboo> ah going well I see

Bugsy screamed in her mic as the death screen appeared. "DREAM!"

"You took too long!" He wheezed as Bugsy respawned.

"I don't know where I am!"

"Hold on, I'll avenge you!" Karl declared before he died too.

"You thought you could kill me with your fists? Karl, you're naked and I'm wearing full Netherite."

"You weren't when I started punching you! You pulled that out of thin air!"

<Ranboo> canon

Y/n smiled at Ranboo's comment. She had never talked to him but she knew he and Tubbo were close friends and he seemed really funny. He had already proved he had a dry sense of humor in the 30 minutes she was on the SMP and she loved that. Y/n made a mental note to befriend him before returning to being drama queen to Dream.

"So, Dream, now that you've made me an enemy–"

"WhAT? We are not enemies, Bug. I'm actually naming a flower something really cute as we speak. Enemies don't do that."

"Maybe I'm not your enemy but you sure are mine."

"Oh come on now," he mumbled lowly, running chills down her spine. What the hell was that?? "What do I have to do to make it up to you?"

"You-you murdered me in cold blood. Nothing will make it up."

"So I could get the flower! It was out of love! So I could give you a better present! Does that count for nothing?"

"Hm," she hummed. "We'll see what new name you come up with and then I'll decide."

Karl and Y/n got back to the chessboard and waited for Dream to return with his new flower.

Breaking character and turning towards her best friend, Y/n laughed at Karl. "Sorry for distracting from our BFF shenanigans time."

"This is way more entertaining," Karl assured. "Me and my chat got front row seats to the Dreamsy love saga."

"Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him in-game.

"OW! STOP PUNCHING ME SO MUCH!"

"Okay, okay, I'm back!!" Dream announced and they saw his figure sprinting and jumping towards them. He dropped the flower for Y/n and stepped back, crouching and standing repeatedly.

Y/n picked up the flower and hovered over it to read the name.

"Is it worthy of your forgiveness, Bugsy? Does it pass the vibe check?" Karl asked with a giggle.

Y/n bit her lip as she smiled at her screen.

to the prettiest girl in the world. love, dream <3

It was a joke, obviously. He was just continuing the joke of flirting with her like he does on Twitter just like Sapnap and Karl and George and Quackity do. They all joke about flirting with her and this was another joke.

But it still gave her tummy butterflies.

"Bug?" Dream called softly.

But why would he joke like that when neither of them were streaming? Karl's chat wouldn't see it so there was no one to point in feeding into the joke, unless he meant for Y/n to show Karl? She was overthinking. She needed to play it cool. 

She also needed an enderchest so no one could find it and no one could take it away from her and destroy it but they didn’t need to know she liked it that much.

"Mmm.... it'll do."

**********

PREVIOUS | NEXT

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A/N: yeeee hope you guys liked this one! i think this is my favorite so far i just think dream was being too cute and i wanna be best friends with karl so much it hurts. we’re gonna get deeper into the dream relationship soon!! i just needed to indugle in bff karl content real quick!!!

taglist: open (at the time) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @tinaswagbd @charsdummb @smileyyuta @1ghoste1 @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @a-cryptic @fee-btheweeb​ @letsloveimagines @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn​ @itshaileyn @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot​ @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman

[b4nka1]

model!kakashi x photographer!reader

there was only one term to describe him. non human. but not in a negative way, he was so pretty, that he had almost every person around him swooning over him, and eventually he became a supermodel for givenchy, sponsoring the brand and all that.

a/n: this one's for @mochikage <3 thanks for giving me this idea that made me smile like a lovesick cat looking at her cat crush

were nervous. you were really nervous. you were assigned for the photography of the cover upcoming volume of the vogue magazine, and the model was none other than the givenchy supermodel hatake kakashi.

of course you had to be nervous. working with a celebrity who has over 50 million followers on instagram and more than a hundred million people swooning over him, you were terribly nervous.

you inhaled, taking in a deep breathe and let it out just when you heard the doors of the studio open, and he walked in. you swore you heard your ovaries explode. the beauty, the drip, the sexiness. it was your first time seeing him.

hatake kakashi stood at the door, black sweatpants hung around his waist, a red hoodie adorning his upper body, his black mask lowered to his chin as he took a sip of his coffee. he hood was pulled up, fluffy white hair peeking out from the edges.

and yes, you felt it for the second time, your ovaries exploding. your stomach churned, he looked around the room and smiled at everyone, giving them a small bow and muttering hellos to everyone, and you felt the time slow down as his beautiful heterochromatic eyes staring into your pretty brown orbs.

you bowed down to him, a shy smile plastered onto your face. luckily your mask concealed the blush creeping up your cheeks.

as the stylists began styling the model, you got your camera lenses ready, checking them to make sure everything is okay. the lenses seemed to be working perfectly, so you waited for kakashi to be done with styling.

when he was done, he came up to you and said, "my name is hatake kakashi, and i look forward to work with you today!" and he bowed, moving to his assigned position.

he was wearing a green pea coat, a purple turtleneck underneath and black slacks, a few chains adorning his neck. he looked absolutely pretty, and you couldn't help but blush when he caught you staring at him.

his white hair was styled messily, and the scar on his left eye was highlighted. he posed and you clicked his pictures, telling him to fix his posture every once or so. you had to take a shot where he had to get really close to the camera, his red eye staring directly into the lens.

you held the camera steady, taking the shots effortlessly, now that you were a pro in photography. the session was over in about 4 hours, he kept on changing his outfits multiple times. he posed with many random items you could find at a photography studio. you showed him the pics you took, your hands trembling because of how close he was standing next to you. his warm breathe was fanning your ear, and you were loving every microsecond of it.

once he was happy and satisfied, he ruffled your hair a little and went to the changing rooms.

you felt your heart stop, your knees almost giving in and your cheeks getting even hotter when he did that. you screamed internally, packing up your camera with a huge grin under your mask. you packed all the rest of your stuff and were about to leave, when you felt a piece of paper being thrust into your hands.

kakashi walked past, looking in your direction and gave you a wink. you shoved the paper i to your pocket and drove back home. once you entered in and gave your dog scratches behind his ears, you took the note out and read it, a contact number attached to it with a note that read

for when i need to have 'photoshoots' with you ;)

-h. kakashi

[rayshippouuchiha]

FMK - bakugou, mineta & endeavor

You just decided to dig right through the trash didn’t you?

Fuck:  Bakugou. Ugh. God I can’t believe you made me type that.  But hell given that he sweats a ng-compound maybe getting off will calm his ass down a little bit. Either way as soon as we’re done and I’m getting ready to leave I’m gonna look him directly in the eyes and say “Izuku was better” and walk out.  He’ll never recover.

Marry: Endeavor.  But hear me out, I have plan.  I marry him, I manage to avoid a pre-nup and get my name on all his shit.  I start slipping him small doses of sleeping medication every other night so that he doesn’t realize anything is up. Then, one night when he’s dead to the world, I text a friend on my phone and then I immediately text Dabi on a burner phone I bought for this exact purpose months before the wedding.  I destroy the burner phone and get rid of the pieces. I leave the house, I make sure I’m caught on camera in my rattiest clothes looking miserable and buying ice cream and Midol from the local konibi.  I go home. I send a passive aggressive tweet about men being so afraid of periods they’ll leave the house to get away from them.  I post a pic of myself eating ice cream on the couch. I call Endeavor’s phone and leave increasingly worried sounding voice mails and text messages.  I call his agency. I visit the agency.  I contact his kids and do the same.  Finally after 2 days I officially report my husband missing.  I tell them that what happened the night I last saw him, how he took a nap and I went out to the store and he was gone when I got back.  I have time stamped evidence to back up my claims and I can cry on command.  Nothing I tell them is technically a lie.  I am no longer a suspect.  I go home.  The case is open until Endeavor’s body is found, charred and all but destroyed.  I am distraught at the funeral.  I go home, drink wine, take a bath and make sure I’m photographed weeping in the living room through the blinds by nosy paparazzo.  The nation talks about the Number 1 Hero’s brave young widow.  3 months pass and I bravely accept an interview from a reputable news station.  I tearfully tell them the truth about Endeavor’s history of abuse that I learned of too late and was simply too afraid to speak up about before now.  The nation is rocked.  Shouto speaks up, the villain Dabi takes credit for his father’s murder.  There’s a call for closer scrutiny on heroes.  I get Rei out of the hospital.  The kids come home.  I see Dabi on a corner one night walking back from the store.  He nods in my direction. I go home to my huge estate and my new family.  We all know what I’ve done.  They say nothing. They are safe, we are happy.      

Kill: Mineta.  He gonna be grape juice for real.

[ectonurites]

Do you think Bernard knows Tim is robin

I don't think he actually does, but I think he's possibly been suspecting it, maybe even before Urban Legends #6 if we want to take all canon back into consideration again since we're in this Infinite Frontier era where that's like... a thing we can do

Like. going back to classic Bernard from that pre-War Games era when he was introduced, we know how deep into conspiracies he was... and how he didn't really think Robin was just one person

(Robin #127)

BUT an important thing to remember when looking at these panels is that this is from an era where Batman is in full Urban Legend mode, the only photos and videos are like 'cryptid spotted'-type unreliable stuff, so the conspiracies are bound to be... a bit wilder like this!

It's not until during War Games that Batman lets himself be caught on camera/seen at large by the general public while bringing Darla out of Louis E. Grieve to the paramedics because he wanted to try and save her life, which while it starts new different rumors does confirm he exists.

(Batman #631)

Bernard was... present for this.

He saw Tim leave to go investigate during the shooting...

(Batman #631)

and was was one of the people in the room when Bruce, Dick, & Cass come to the rescue and... casually talk with Tim a little bit

(Batman #631)

While that doesn't directly indicate 'Tim is Robin', it's definitely a... someone onlooking and paying attention to Tim specifically might notice him having some connection with the Bats. But for someone like Bernard who didn't subscribe to a single Robin theory anyways, I don't think he'd assume immediately that Tim was Robin or anything, just that there could be something going on.

A little later, Tim actually uses a variant of Bernard's theory from earlier to try to get Darla off his back for the whole 'she got brought back to life with magic by a guy who hates Tim so she has to kill Robin now' thing. We see him do an amount of digging online where he specifically mentions limiting himself to the resources an average person with an internet connection could find, and still manages to find enough Robin pics to make this thing work (plus him slipping in some fake Conner!Robin pics because plot)... but that means Bernard also definitely had access to this sort of stuff

(Robin #141)

And like, frankly, if you were already into some conspiracy theories about superheroes, and then those superheroes show up at your high school in the middle of a huge gang war... I feel like just digging deeper and deeper into that stuff is a pretty reasonable course of action! (Tim even uses a similar reasoning to that when explaining to Darla why he suddenly knows about this stuff)

So I feel like Bernard while doing that might also be missing his friend Tim because they got sent to different schools after Louis E. Grieve closed (also I've seen people point out Bernard's behavior back then could arguably indicate he had a thing for Tim at the time, so dare I say missing his crush). He might remember seeing Tim getting all buddy-buddy with the Bats in the chaos of it all, he might look at those same photos Tim was able to find online and have been like 'hey thats funny this Robin kinda looks like Tim', like I see that as within a realm of possibility.

Maybe it's a joke to himself of 'what if Tim was Robin oh my god' because it'd be both his crushes actually being the same person, but not something he ever takes that seriously

When he comes back in Urban Legends and drops this line it kinda further cements to me that after the gang war he kept following up on Robin info and news and stuff, and that he totally had a thing for Robin

(Batman: Urban Legends #6)

So like... Okay. Putting all of it together I just think that:

Bernard has had a crush on Tim for a while, since back at Louis E. Grieve

Bernard has also been obsessed with Robin & had a lowkey crush on him since after the Gang War when he realized Robins probably aren't as temporary as he once thought

Bernard spends time over the next few years keeping up with Robin info and missing Tim

Now in present day, Bernard goes on a date with Tim and gets kidnapped

Very shortly after, Robin comes to save him. That timing is at least a little bit suspicious

Bernard sees Tim up close & in person and then Robin up close & in person within a pretty short timeframe which... means the physical similarities would be apparent.

Bernard takes that shot in the dark and confesses his feelings about Tim to Robin during the fight

Tim comes to his door a few days later and jumps right into a conversation about the kidnapping and the feelings (that seems like it comes right off of what Bernard had said to Robin) and accepts a date with him

Bernard's brain is screaming at him that the 'Tim is Robin' theory is looking more and more likely every day but he still doesn't know for sure