#every time i post an excerpt on here know that im 100% thinking about it in relation to sam
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Rebecca A. Brown. 'Of Radioactive Sprites and Diminutive Tyrants: Hammer’s Monstrous Children' + Dustin Freeley, 'The Monstrous Child Replacement and Repetition in The Shining' from Monstrous Children and Childish Monsters
#every time i post an excerpt on here know that im 100% thinking about it in relation to sam#despite the Apocalypse really being a cascading tragedy where both brothers are equally culpable for starting it#sam as the original *monstrous* body becomes the one to shoulder the blame at a story level#always thinking on the show's failure to fully subvert its premise (one son as the Hero and the other as the Monster)#bc it mostly plays those story mechanics straight (and that's where audience sympathy gets directed)#even when it tries to metatextually address the idea like look! both of them are trying to escape their destined roles!#also audiences will always b predisposed to absorbing stories this way bc it's so culturally ingrained#a Hero is the central figure who draws your empathy. now look at a story and tell me who you think is its least sympathetic figure?#there lies the Monster. not a ghoul or a vampire or a villain. but the unknowable outsider#the hero as the knowable heart of a story and the monster in order to remain as its scapegoat - always becomes unknowable#even when the story gives you enough material to sympathise with the both of them!!!!!!!#hence why sam somehow being a boring blank slate or an incomprehensible freak is such a common interpretation here#does the fault lie in the writers or in an audience unwilling and unpracticed at empathising with a scapegoat?#OK THAT'S ENOUGH of being annoying and pretentious back to pending life admin#sam monstrosity studies#lit recs#j.txt
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Hey, I've been hearing conflicting things from you regarding L. Sometimes out of nowhere you defend him when people complain about him for not posting enough. People are complaining because he doesn't even have the courtesy to share the posts, so of course people are gomna come at him when he does the bare minimum. He spent one day with Corey or Ed and dedicated a wholeass post to them but 5 years in bridgerton (2 of them as the lead) and he couldn't even manage to write a thank you message to the cast, to his fellow lead? Even supporting actors like the one who played finch wrote a caption thanking his co-actress. People coming at him is a consequence of his actions, not the other way around.
And other times, you're the one saying things about him like his relationship, "does he even make it inside her", etc etc. It feels like there are 2 people managing this blog.
Im not accusing you of anything, this is your blog, u can have whatever opinion u want. But it'd be better if you let us know where you stand exactly so we can submit our asks accordingly. Because at this point your opinion matters haha and when you reject an idea we submit, it feels like a dagger through the heart 🤭
I have issues with how he posts just like everyone else, especially in regards to N, and I have stated this repeatedly.
I’m just tired of seeing 100 plus asks about it every time L, N or anyone else posts BTON content.
You can by all means send in whatever opinion you have and please do not think that my opinion is above anyone else’s.
I have the power to post what I want here but that doesn’t mean it’s always right or better.
I feel like the fandom shits on him enough for so much else we can cut a little slack here.
He doesn’t owe anyone anything and if that makes you side eye him then so be it.
It’s the folks that run their opinions to his or anyone else’s comment sections that should be ashamed of themselves.
Keep that shit here where it belongs
“And other times, you're the one saying things about him like his relationship, "does he even make it inside her", etc etc.”
As for the excerpt above, it was a shitpost at best don’t read too much into it ffs lol
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Be Gone, KFKD
The other day, @lajulie24 made a post about that radio station that plays in creator's ears and talks sh*t about them, termed KFKD by Anne Lamott in one of her classic books on writing). You can and should read @lajulie24 's beautiful post on this and plea for fellow fanfic writers to continue to write through the radio noise here. Here is a relevant excerpt, however:
KFKD (yes, that’s short for K-Fucked) is a concept from Anne Lamott in her book on writing, Bird by Bird. (It’s a great book, incidentally.) It’s an imaginary radio station that plays in every writer’s—nay, every artist’s—ears. In one ear: concertos and symphonies about how insanely talented and special and misunderstood and gifted one is and all the accolades and talk show appearances and words of praise that will be coming one’s way; in the other, the greatest hits of every mistake one has made over a lifetime, songs of doubt, hymns of self-loathing, warning tones that soon the jig will be up and everyone will find out what an utter worthless fraud one is.
...sometimes it just wants to play and play and play and make us simultaneously doubt ourselves and feel underappreciated and unseen.
I wanted to share some strategies I myself use to help turn down KFCK, just in case they could benefit anyone else. I’d also love other people to comment or reblog with their strategies!
I also tried to stick to “I” language more than “you” language since this is just what works for me. Sorry if I bore you with too much detail about my writing process or come off as self-centered as a result D: (and for the self-talk that calls me a “we” not crazy, I promise. Or am I....?).
Some Strategies I Find Helpful for Turning Down KFCK:
1. Tapping In To Why I Write
Maybe this is because I see myself as a "new" writer- I don't know that I've written fiction on the page in the last 10 years, and even then, it was very rare for me (although I have years of 'in my head' practice) but every story I write begins with a question: "Can I do this?"
Sometimes I'm more confident as I sit down to type my first brainstorm or draft ("Yeah, i totally can") sometimes less, but I have to confess, I'm never totally sure.
And I really do genuinely want to find out.
There are even times I truly feel like the answer is, "No, I can't do this."
Then I tell myself, "Well, it feels that way, but we did this much and it's not finished yet. I bet we can at least finish it even if it's not what we want. Even if it's so far from what we want that we think it's a failure. Actually, that's a really interesting question- if I can't actually do this, what WILL it look like when it's finished? Will it be a failure? What does that even mean, if it's finished? That's at least worth finding out, because I'm really curious."
So far, this approach has helped me finish, and at the end I haven't failed by any of my own personal standards!
2. Knowing My Writing Process
At some point- usually at least at two point- I will hate whatever I'm writing. This is not linked to whatever is on the page; sometimes it happens when my draft is still very weak, but just as often it happens when there's a lot of great stuff going on and there are some fixable problems. It's not really about what's on the page; it's usually about where I'm at. The draft is looking different than I imagined (LITERALLY ALWAYS), or I'm not sure if I can do the next step well, or I've been working too much on it at once and need a break, or my brain is just Doing The Thing.
I have learned this by watching myself and noticing that I cycle, kind of like this:
IDEA. --> BRAINSTORM/FREEWRITING. THIS IS GONNA BE KILLLLEEER YAS. --> Omg wait. Is this great or terribly stupid? I literally can't tell. Omg. If I can't tell, it's stupid. It's stupid. But I kind of like it? No, it's terrible. --> okay, well, we're gonna keep working and see what happens --> Not bad not bad --> OMG ITS STUPID --> OMG IM ON FIRE I LOVE IT --> Not bad Not bad --> I HATE THIS PIECE I WILL NEVER LIKE IT --> Nice job, self, really nice job.
It varies a lot, but that's a good gist.
The great thing about knowing this cycle is that- while the emotions are always there- they have much less power. "Oh, hello, Hatred. You were bound to show up eventually. Why don't you sit in this corner and have some tea while Mommy works, huh?" Hating what I'm writing (at least in this short-term way I'm describing) DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING IS UNUSUALLY WRONG WITH THE PIECE AT WHATEVER STAGE I'M IN. Its just my brain's roadblock it tries to throw up. Which means I can ignore it rather than engage with it. "Shhh, Hatred, play quietly, Mommy's working."
For those of you who have seen How I Met Your Mother, it's like the tape jammed into Marshall's car that only plays The Proclaimer’s 500 Miles. On road trips the characters love it and jam to it, they hate it and despair, they love it and jam to it, and hate it and despair, in an endless cycle.
Hating the song right now? As Marshall says, “Don’t worry… it comes around again”.
3. I Find a Friend - or Two - or Five
We hear this all the time, right? Find a beta who you trust to help you improve your work, blah blah blah, and while I can't emphasize the enough the truth and wisdom of that, it's not quite what I mean here.
I'm talking about cheerleaders and partners-in-crime. This can be the same person as a critical beta (although if so *I* let them know I don't need that part of them right now, I need them in a different, supportive role) or another person. The OMG YES friend. The person you can go to who will whisper DEW IT when you need it most.
"I was going to participate in this fandom thing, but I'm nervous. Let's do it together?" (This one works extra well if it's someone you want to read more from, muwahaha.)
"I have this idea. Do you think I should write it or nah?"
"I'm halfway through this story and I'm not sure if it's worth finishing. What do you think?"
My favorite kind of writing friend is the one who can tell me what I'm doing *well* as much as poorly, especially in an early draft when I'm not sure if the story has legs. "No, keep going, I really like what you're doing with X and I really want to know what happens with Y." "Omg that's such a funny bit. I'd love more of that." Etc.
4. What Do I Want, As A Reader? / What Would I Tell Another Author?
This one is pretty self-evident: If another writer came to me with the concerns I’m having, what would I say to them? If another writer were considering giving up on a piece because other writers had done something similar, what would I tell them?
I think most of us would note the reasons that we WOULD want a piece from another author! Most of us want to see that one trope in a new way for the 10th time because we love it, most of us love to see all the different creative takes on an idea, etc. Most of us are able to see this so clearly as readers, and struggle to see it as writers.
(I literally pretend I’m talking to another author / tell myself whatever I would tell them.)
4. How Might Another Author Feel If They Heard Me Talking This Way?
The flip side of the above thing is, what would someone who both a) wants to write themselves, and b) genuinely likes my writing, think if they heard me talking like this?
I know when I hear writers that I respect get down on themselves- especially really get down on themselves- it makes me feel like I shouldn’t be writing at all. If So-and-So’s stuff isn’t good enough, how could mine ever be?
I would never want to make someone feel that way if they were trying to write, so why would I say that kind of stuff to myself?
5. The There’s Always Someone Principal
I may think what I write is vastly inferior to So-and-So’s piece, but usually I find that for every two pieces that are similar or have similar themes, someone likes each of those pieces better than the other. It’s incredibly likely that someone out there may actually like mine better, insane though it might sound. There are all sorts of tastes out there! And really, usually: both pieces have significant things to offer.
(Also worth noting: Its possible- likely even- that that other author you feel intimidated by might feel intimidated by YOU.)
6. Telling Jokes to Myself (Sometimes About Myself)
If you ever see my posts apparently despairing about my writing process (like this one here), fear not! I'm just engaging in my tactic of making fun of myself while I write. LOL. Its not as toxic as it sounds (for me at least- if its toxic for you, DON’T DO IT)! I find that, for whatever reason, making fun of myself takes the pressure off 100% and lets me enjoy the writing process more. So if you see me doing it, feel free to like, feel free to ignore. Send encouragement if you literally can’t help it, but “haha, lol, writing is so weird” is a totally fine response!
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Winter 2019 Season Preview
I can't believe it's another goddamn year. 2019 marks my fifteenth year of watching anime, which fucks me up to even write. The about 540 anime I've seen in the intervening years doesn't even feel like that many when I think about how I've literally spent half my life watching these Chinese girl cartoons. Onwards and upwards, I guess.
1 Girly Air Force: Oh fuck yes. Sukasuka is still the best LN I've read, but Girly Air Force is far and away my favorite and it should be obvious why: it's got cute girls, it's got airplanes, it's got cute girls who ARE airplanes! The story is surprisingly well-done and if Satelight's adaptation is on point this could be a pretty good show. Phantom is best girl and Izawa Shiori sounds perfect as her, so we've already got that going for us.
2 Endoro~!: Okay, so Release the Spyce was bad. That's not Namori's fault, though, 'cause the characters were still adorable. This is Namori's next try at being an anime character designer, and it definitely looks better than Spyce ever did. Cute girl lighthearted fantasy is definitely a good genre (it's why I played Priconne for as long as I did despite the game being terrible) and the pastel colors all over this show tell me I'm home. Kaori, director of one of the best cute girl anime of the last decade, Yuyushiki, helms the project and venerable Studio Gokumi animates. Yeah, this is AOTS.
3 Kouya no Kotobuki Hikoutai: Based Tsutomu is BACK, babey! Somehow, this is his first TV project in three years (after the lackluster Mayoiga) though he's obviously been hard at work making more of Garupan as slowly as possible and probably also working on that Shirobako movie that's in the oven. I'm sure it's hard being an anime god. It's definitely disappointing that this is a full CG anime, but the fact that it's about planes and being made by Tsutomu is enough for me to overlook that fact. It's not quite the Daisan Hikou Shoujotai anime we've all been waiting for, but it's close enough.
4 Ueno-san wa Bukiyou: I have a hard time believing this will be anything but comedy of the season in three months' time. The excerpts from the manga I have seen are amazing, and the trailers have been brilliant as well. Plus, Serizawa Yuu in the lead role, and it also has one of the surest signs of a comic hit (at least in my book) which is the male lead also being played by a girl―Tanaka Aimi in this case. The character designs definitely capture tugeneko's unique style. This should be great.
5 Watashi ni Tenshi ga Maiorita!: Clearly this is the spiritual successor to Uzamaid. Perverted channee hnnngs over some cute lolis? That's almost always good. Said lolis look incredibly adorable, and the protagonist will be played by the always-brilliant Ueda Reina, who should shine in a role like this. It's definitely hard to imagine this one missing.
6 Kakegurui XX: I never expected this show to get a sequel, but I'm sure not complaining about it. Everyone's favorite hot Akagi expy is back, babey. I can't wait to see some more sexy gambles. Hearing Hayamin's lewd voice is worth the price of admission by itself, and it looks like there are new hot channees coming by the truckload in this second season. Sign me the fuck up.
7 Gotoubun no Hanayome: I'm mad at this show because I thought Ayaneru was supposed to play all five heroines, but apparently that was just for a commercial for the manga and they cast five different people for the actual anime. I wanted to hear quintuple Ayaneru! This show still looks like a good harem, though, and of course does still provide one Ayaneru. The rest of the cast are no slouches either, and despite the Ayaneru presence I think Ayachi's character looks like the best girl.
8 Domestic na Kanojo: Schoolteacher romance anime!?! FUUUCK YES. This is exactly what the doctor's been ordering. The Hiyocchi-voiced sensei looks adorable (as all anime teachers should be) and I am just 100% here for what is happening. There's also another cute girl, but, just give me Hina-sensei and I'll be happy.
9 Date A Live III: Hard to believe the original DAL anime was almost six years ago. I stopped following the series closely when DAL2 was bad, but I'm still excited for this new sequel. The girls are still great and so is the premise, they just need to actually have money to make a good anime this time around. Happily, J.C. Staff have been pegged to animate this time instead of the perenially inconsistent Production IMS, with the principal creative staff (including director Motonaga Keitarou) still intact. So it should be pretty good!
10 Kemurikusa: Yes Tatsuki, yes tanoshi! I still haven't seen Kemono Friends so I can't speak personally to Tatsuki's alleged genius but I have seen some of his short anime he posts online and they're always brimming with atmosphere, so I'm excited to check this out.
11 Mahou Shoujo Tokushusen Asuka: The latest in a seemingly endless line of anime that ask, 'How can we take the concept of magical girls but make it edgy?' Okay, I admit, the idea of magical girls who wield Kalashnikov rifles is actually pretty great... It just depends on how seriously the show takes itself, because this is not a concept that should be played straight. Strike The Blood's Yamamoto Hideo is set to direct, and STB was a show that definitely knew how to toe the line between serious action and lighthearted antics, so hopefully it will be good.
12 Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai ~Tensai-tachi no Ren'ai Zunousen~: Though I'm a long-established devotee of the Church of Blondenblu, black hair and red eyes is pretty close behind as far as I'm concerned, so this show's titular Kaguya-sama definitely looks good. Plus that forehead! There's also a nice blondenblu girl voiced by Hanabee. Looks like a cute romantic comedy.
13 Manaria Friends: Yeah, this is finally happening after years of development hell, apparently being produced entirely in-house by Cygames and their animation studio CygamesPictures. From what I hear, this is supposed to be a lot different from the mainline Bahamut anime: kind of nichijou-kei, and apparently gay as hell. Cute girl and her demon girlfriend? Yep, sign me the fuck up.
14 Circlet Princess: It's always good when the "story" tab on your show's website is under construction when your show starts in like two weeks. This is apparently based on a DMM web game, but the writer and designer is Kio Nachi, who was responsible for the game and anime of the way-better-than-it-should-have-been Ao no Kanata no Fourhythm, so it might be good. The voice cast is a star-studded assemblage of veterans like Gotou Mai, Nabatame Hitomi, and Mizuhashi Kaori... With the turnover in the seiyuu industry as of late it's nice to see that vets like this can still get main-cast roles and aren't just relegated to playing the moms of the latest 18 year old darling. But I digress.
15 Boogiepop wa Warawanai: Otherwise known as Boogiepop Phantom in the West, this is the latest classic property to get the remake treatment. I've always meant to watch the original, but never did. Boogiepop was one of the original series to start the modern "light novel" movement, and I've always heard great things about it, but other than that I really know nothing about the story so I'll be going in blind. I'm sure Ao-chan and Oonishi will be great in it at least.
16 Rinshi!! Ekoda-chan: I have no idea what Ekoda-chan is about (other than it's a 4koma manga) but this adaptation looks like it's some art. Apparently every episode will have both a different director and a different actress playing the titular Ekoda-chan. Presumably, we are about to See Some Shit. Names set to direct episodes include some names like Sugii Gisaburou (Touch, Ginga Tetsudou no Yoru) and Mochizuki Tomomi (Ranma 1/2) and Kitani Yoshitomo (GaoGaiGar) so we're definitely in for something.
17 Egao no Daika: It's time for your seasonal dose of robot anime with hot girls in it. It's going to be awhile until I can see a show like this again and think "Gridman was better," but hey, this one's got some hot girls in it too. This is brought to us by longtime mecha anime guy Suzuki Toshimasa, who was responsible for a recent sentimental favorite of mine, Rinne no Lagrange. The character designs are the work of Nakamura Naoto, who also did the job on High School Fleet. That show was notable more than anything for having an incredibly large and diverse cast of incredibly cute girls, so that's a good sign.
18 Pastel Memories: This show has nothing to do with Plastic Memories, but that doesn't stop be from thinking of that every time I see the title. If you immediately suspect it to be a social game adaptation after seeing the art and logo, you would be extremely correct. The key visual on the show's homepage does not inspire confidence, but the animation looks fine in the PV at least. As a genre, "cute girls from social games fighting monsters" generally produces rubbish, but I appreciate that the action at least looks to be hand-drawn in this one. The show does have Rieshon in it, who I feel like I haven't heard in ages, so that's nice.
19 Bermuda Triangle ~Colorful Pastrale~: I've always been on record as saying mermaid girls suck because they don't have legs, and I still stand by that. Why should I get excited about a cute girl anime if there's no ftmm to ogle??? I'll still watch it cause it promises to be a nichijou-kei cute girl anime (and there's a channee mermaid who wears hoop earrings which almost makes up for the lack of legs) but I'm not going to be happy about it damnit.
20 Minitoji: It's some kind of SD Toji no Miko spinoff. I'm sure I'm in the minority just like, in general, but I really enjoyed Tojimiko so I'm happy enough to see this being made. It looks like the protagonist from the (truly dreadful) mobile game adaptation is making an appearance, so I guess that thing is making enough money to have this produced... Hey, if I get to see more of Hiyori-chan being gay, I'm down.
21 Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari: It's light novel anime. When the show's "characters" page is half dudes it's never a good sign, especially for a show in this genre. Probably the most interesting thing about it is that Kevin Penkin, who did the fantastic music for 2017's Made in Abyss returns to anime work here... But it will probably be in service of a lame, too self-serious fantasy plot with lots of dudes grimacing.
22 Grimms Notes The Animation: Grimms Notes is a shitty social game so you can already see where this is going. It feels like a waste of my time to even write a preview for it since I know I'll be dropping this before the first episode is even over. At least it has a blondenblu girl, I guess.
23 Yakusoku no Neverland: Did you guys know noitaminA is still a thing? Remember when it was relevant? This is this season's noitaminA show and it looks like exactly the kind of thing I watch out of obligation because it looks like "art" and then drop even after saying I'll give the second episode a chance. The protagonist's face gives me bad juju. At least most of the male characters are voiced by girls since they're kids.
24 revisions: Enver Hoxha's least-favorite anime is brought to us by Netflix. It looks like, honestly, exactly what I expect from Netflix at this point. The CG animation doesn't look great (Shirogumi doing it this time, instead of Netflix stalwart Polygon Pictures) and it has the same kind of serious sci-fi feel as shows like A.I.C.O. Incarnation. Probably won't be that good, but these shows that strive to feel like Western cable thrillers have a bad habit of being pretty easy watches.
25 Virtual-san wa Miteiru: I don't think I actually want to watch this. I like to watch some virtuals sometimes but... No.
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so im done like.... skimming through we for the most part and here are my comments (im not gonna say final bc i know this hell isnt over)
this is long but i’m not putting it in a read more bc i don’t want to like i want you to have to scroll through this.
1. none of the information/techniques/whatever on this book are actually new, there’s 14 pages worth of citations in the back of the book meaning that this book is essentially just like... a copy and paste of many people’s ideas and techniques so take that as you will
2. there’s quotes like everywhere? from like random famous women ranging from like rosa parks to emma watson to emily dickinson to anne frank...... it’s very odd it reminds me of that scene in the office where michael writes “ “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” - wayne gretsky” -michael scott anyway this is literally the most inclusive part of the whole book and also aside from crediting laverne cox as a transgender activist and actress there’s like.... literally no mention of trans women
3. this has to be one of the most heteronormative pieces of media i’ve consumed in a my life... every mention of a relationship talks about “he”. also never ever post abt how u think gillians gonna date a woman or she’s bi or whatever bc in the book she deadass just refers to all her partners (past and future) as he so there you go
4. there’s an excerpt that says you have to be thankful because you’re much better off than a huge percentage of the world population bc you have a fridge lol
5. in the humility section theres a part where they talk abt how we’re all equal and no one is better than anyone else but last time i checked gillian charges a small fortune for fans to meet her and doesn’t even treat them like equals so just a thought
6. the mandatory “feminism” section or w/e in the manifesto part of the book uses those statistics you’ve read a million times like there’s more CEOs named john than there are female CEOs like this book really has Nothing new to offer anyone
7. there’s a section where you’re encouraged to follow a diet while following these principles and it has a linked (yes! a typed out link in a book) to the BMI index and you’re told to go on it and check if you’re healthy or not like... don’t do that lmao
8. the quote “more than seven hundred million women live in hunger, and yet those with plenty battle obesity and depression” Fuck You
9. the quote “every minute, one woman dies needlessly in childbirth, while elsewhere in the world another woman spends thousands on cosmetic surgery because she isn’t able to feel comfortable with how she’s aging” again... Fuck you
10. the notion that we as (cis, straight, white) women cannot be expected to be respected by society if we don’t learn to respect ourselves by doing things like... flirting with other women’s husbands OR letting other women’s husbands flirt with you... Yes Really
this is all i feel like typing out right now bc i have other shit to do but... this book sucks and im 90% sure there was a ghost writer
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#every time i post an excerpt on here know that im 100% thinking about it in relation to sam#despite the Apocalypse really being a cascading tragedy where both brothers are equally culpable for starting it#sam as the original *monstrous* body becomes the one to shoulder the blame at a story level#always thinking on the show's failure to fully subvert its premise (one son as the Hero and the other as the Monster)#bc it mostly plays those story mechanics straight (and that's where audience sympathy gets directed)#even when it tries to metatextually address the idea like look! both of them are trying to escape their destined roles!#also audiences will always b predisposed to absorbing stories this way bc it's so culturally ingrained#a Hero is the central figure who draws your empathy. now look at a story and tell me who you think is its least sympathetic figure?#there lies the Monster. not a ghoul or a vampire or a villain. but the unknowable outsider#the hero as the knowable heart of a story and the monster in order to remain as its scapegoat - always becomes unknowable#even when the story gives you enough material to sympathise with the both of them!!!!!!!#hence why sam somehow being a boring blank slate or an incomprehensible freak is such a common interpretation here#does the fault lie in the writers or in an audience unwilling and unpracticed at empathising with a scapegoat?
Rebecca A. Brown. 'Of Radioactive Sprites and Diminutive Tyrants: Hammer’s Monstrous Children' + Dustin Freeley, 'The Monstrous Child Replacement and Repetition in The Shining' from Monstrous Children and Childish Monsters
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