#every time i leave the house at least one instance of really stupid shit happens to me grrrrrrrrrrrrr

[clusterduck28]

FUCKERS STOLE MY VAPE! CAN'T HAVE SHIT IN [redacted]

[oneoftheprettynerds]

Fixed: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 4 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.

Chapter 3: Love So Soft

Main Masterlist

A/N: It’s shorter than my usual updates but I’m busy so sorry for the delay. My final exam dates have come and all I can do is pray right now lol. Please pray for me if you can, this sis is out here writing fanfics for yall instead of studying so, haha. ANyways, enjoy babies! Shit happens in this chapter.

Warning: Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can’t ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can’t get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Word count: 5K

Chapter 4: Fixed

You didn’t sleep that night. Or the next few. Your hands shook every time you got a flashback and even though you were numb to emotions that entire day, tears threatened to spill whenever your mind took to you to that overpriced kitchen again.

Now that he had gone to a dangerous and unnerved assaulter from a Dad trying to take care of his daughter, your mind wouldn’t put anything past him. You knew that in the back of your mind that he was a mobster and your ‘friendship’ was alarming to say the least, but now there was no denying his resources and power and the very obvious threat to your life lingering in the air.

At least before you had the luxury to be oblivious and ignorant, not anymore though. Steve felt even more unhinged and liberal now, even messaging you daily, greeting texts that you obviously ignored. He knew you both were aware that you never handed him your number and he felt no need to hide his pursuit.

You read most of the messages, not bothering with a single reply though. You tried to block him but somehow your phone would still receive messages from his number, even though his contact would always peek back at you from the otherwise empty blacklist.

As if his torment wasn’t ample, another message thread from a different number would forward you alarming images, photos of Grace in her daycare, on a class trip to the park and even her playing in your backyard. You had no doubt that this was another game of his to show you his resources.

You skipped daycare for a few days, your mental health worse than it was after the carnival attack, because now you had a personal tormentor and you cursed yourself for falling into this mess. At times, you believed it wasn’t your fault really, you just helped a kid and this situation spiraled itself but what would pointing fingers now get you? The harsh truth was you were in a calamitous situation now and every step from now on had to be thought out.

So, you let Grace attend her daycare and acted if nothing was amiss or altered, after the few initial breakdown days of course, kept going to your job and earning the bread. You considered your options, you really wanted to go to the cops or a higher fair power but those were few these days, almost non existent in your city. You also vaguely recalled meeting three of the Captains of the PD at Sarah’s birthday, all smiley and doe eyed for Steve. You knew they wouldn’t help, fucking kiss-asses.

Maybe you would have to move somewhere else, perhaps to your hometown, at least till things cooled down or better yet were forgotten? But that trail was very predictable and you didn’t want your parents in this mess.  

You also came to know that Steve had inserted himself in the other spheres of your life. You were sure your location was always being sent to him, the knowledge a courtesy of the black car following you while you travelled to home at some late day’s end.

Aiden told you whereabouts were easy to track, when you inquired ambiguously. Another instance was when you went to the bank to deposit cash for your debit card, you came face to face with an enormous amount already there. Somehow, the limit on your credit card was also extended. How, you knew. The clerk told you about an email you must have gotten in regards to it, you dismissed that justification away and told them to not accept the cash. To sum the discussion, they weren’t helpful and had no policy against anonymous donors.

Aiden, your trusted coworker cum pal, sensed the shift in your aura and fidgety form very easily, pestering you with questions and you decided to turn to him, stressed and tired and ready to do something. His questioning eyebrows made you confess vaguely but you refused to tell him the extent of it. Just that his prediction came true and you needed help. Let’s just say, Aiden was a good man.

With time, Steve’s ‘affectionate’ messages became deranged, and you found it harder to act nonchalant in your daily life. You were thankful he didn’t come to visit you, possibly occupied with the rumored war between the mobs. You just prayed for a few more days of ignorance, just enough time to think and do something.

“What do you mean someone collected her?!” You had a hard time controlling your voice, you were about to burst, in tears or with anger, you didn’t know.

“The man was verified in the emergency contacts and we got a letter signed and approved by you to skip the day an hour into the first activity.”

“A man? Emergen-, wait no! What fucking approved letter?”

You had three emergency contacts, your mom in another state, Aiden, and one of the other kid’s mom you had grown close to. Aiden was with you at work all day, so did someone disguise themselves as him? And what was the deal with the letter signed by you? You surely didn’t remember writing and authorizing one.

The boy, Pietro, who had been the receptionist for as long as you could remember, shuffled through the chaotic piles of paper and presented a letter to you, and your blood froze as your eyes skimmed the font.

Your beautiful cursive stared right back at you and you knew that no one would ever be able to distinguish between this penmanship and the one in the pocketbook in your clutch. No one but you. Even though you knew you had not written it, the slightly different ‘f’ and ‘g’ told you everything.

Your signature at the bottom though, was done quite perfectly and that made you even more scared.

“I did-, I didn’t write this! What the-” Your widened eyes met Pietro’s from above the paper but all he offered you was a meek smile. Your hands shook with rage and for the first time in your life, you had the urge to slap someone really bad.

“Maybe your family had an emergency to take he-”

“No, you don’t get it!” You stopped yourself from getting frantic, willing yourself to take deep breaths and think rationally. Today of all days, things had to mess up.

He didn’t know you had no family in this city, that you had a mobster after you or the subtle threats that his hired spy sent to you.

Was going to the police an option? Aiden already told you that the cops were as good as Steve’s men. But this was about your missing kid! You’d never forgive yourself if something happened to her. And you were giving Steve way too much credit, what if he wasn’t behind this all? Come to think of it, what if the other number wasn’t his?

Relax yourself! Thinking of disturbing theories wouldn’t help anyone. You thought you should go to the cops, just in case. No mentioning of Steve, just a woman with a ‘missing child’ report.

‘Missing Child’ left an acrid taste behind and you were too close to a breakdown, but your whole journey of single-parenthood taught you to kick vulnerability aside, well most of the times.

You turned and were about to leave, but Pietro stopped you. “If you are going to the cops Ma’am, they require 8 hours of inactivity or disappearance time for kids under 5.”

Well look who just read your mind.

You huffed and kept the tears at bay, your mind thinking of what to do then? Grace was obviously taken-

“How could you let a toddler leave without informing the parents?” You knew your anger was channeling out at the wrong man but didn’t he all but hand Grace to the stranger?

You beat him answering and inquired, “What did the man look like? Do you have any footage? Anything?” The wrinkles in your forehead and stress creases on your face paired with the eyebags betrayed your age surely. You were sure you had aged more this week than an entire decade, juggling your normal life with the hovering threat.

“You shouldn’t be this worried Ma’am.”

The fucking audacity.

“Your daughter recognized him, she all but ran to him and this other little girl he came with. You should maybe ask your parent-friends around? A blonde family perhaps?”

As all the emotions drained from your face and terror took over, the young lad in front of you looked smug. You wondered as if you imagined the faintest of smirks on his face.

You crumpled the letter in your hands, seething with rage as you stepped in your car. Oh, you were mad, more wrathful than ever. You could take any hits on you, any threat but not on Grace, never on her.

You were stupid, you had already decided you wouldn’t put anything past him but unknowingly, you did put this past him. You thought this man had a shred of decency to not use your kid in this adult war, being a parent himself and all but what a surprise! You were wrong.

You drove to your home, your thoughts a mix of trepidation, anxiety and fury. You were scared of him and his reach and resources but if he put Grace in any type of danger; whether to teach you a lesson or use her as bait or both, there’d be consequences.

Lord knows you killed a man a month ago Grace was threatened.

You had one thing to do before contacting Steve about Grace but you never got to do it because unexpectedly the bastard was in your home. In your home.

The black sports car outside was a huge giveaway but your suspicions were confirmed when you opened the door with your house key. The banter and giggles from inside alarmed yet calmed you; the dread of confrontation and the assurance of Grace’s safety reigned your mind.

As the door opened painfully slow like a horror movie, the sight that met your eyes made you sick with a feeling of failure. It wasn’t gore or blood or grunge, it was Steve bouncing Grace in the air and catching her while Sarah twirled around in the living room.  

This man was craftier than you thought, every action of his was calculated, each a refined step. You had been so preoccupied to avoid direct encounters with him in your little family’s life that you didn’t think he had other ways. He was always looming around with Sarah and as Grace began to trust Sarah, she consequently began to trust her blonde guardian too.

As you slammed the door behind you, Steve’s eyes snapped to yours and his smirk made you want to punch him so hard. The smugness on his face while he let Grace down without breaking eye contact told you he had no regret, no remorse. In fact, he was loving every second of this cat and mouse chase between you two.

You were a millimeter close to losing your shit, the only check being the kids in the room. But you were mad and he was going to know it.

“What the hell, Steve? Messing with my kid?” You threw your clutch onto the couch, Steve haughty by the reception of his sent message but still holding back because of the kids. He called Wanda and you didn’t really notice where she came from but you did register Steve asking to take the girls to the park for a ‘private discussion’.

As Grace passed by you, you grabbed her arm lightly, making her look at you with doe eyes resembling yours. You gave her a smile trying to ease her, but you knew she was smart enough to sense the change in the atmosphere.

Apparently, the whining Sarah wasn’t.

You looked back to Steve, your hold still on Grace and continued with a frown and raised eyebrows, “She isn’t going anywhere, not out of my sight and obviously not with you or your goons.”

Wanda had the audacity to look offended and you scoffed at her, eyes staring Steve’s down.

“Honey, I don’t think the kids should hear what I think you have to say right now.” He said nodding to Wanda to take Grace.

“You must be deranged to think I trust Grace near anyone even remotely related to you! Take your people and get out.” You held your hand up to stop Wanda and pointed towards the door with the most menacing glare you could form.

Grace looked incomprehensibly between you two, concern and confusion on her face. That might have been the first time such a tone was used in your household. The grumbling Sarah was close to throwing a tantrum, irritated by the change in the playful air or the lack of attention to her, you didn’t know. She was hanging on Wanda’s forearm, her feet slipping on your printed rug. Wanda was trying to not look hurt still by your previous statement, distracting herself by the blonde kid and you were baffled by her obliviousness to all this.

Steve, the beefy blonde Lucifer, was furious and seething. His white knuckles and ticking jaw were the most obvious giveaways, the fingers just itching to beat the shit out of someone no doubt.

Was he imagining striking you into compliance into his weird playhouse game complex? You wouldn’t be surprised given the extent of his attempt to ‘win’ you over.

The ‘get out’ tone and blatant disrespect was a bruise to his ego for sure, and by you, a middle-class woman nonetheless was a worse injury. Steve was the deadly boss to armored men in the vicinity, the kids’ father figure, according to him, and Wanda’s stern yet kind employer.

People had been killed for less and there you were, standing in all your glory, being the only person alive to reject Steve Rogers and now, the only to raise your voice at him.

You almost scoffed at his impudence to look offended, what did he expect? For you to submit to him after the stunt he pulled? His reach was scary he proved today and that any future with him in your life in any way, was a fearsome possibility to entertain but you’d be damned if you went down without a fight.  

“You can’t make me leave; we both know. You don’t have the physical edge nor the mental one. I have no problem drawing out G-U-N-S in front of the kids or to throw the warnings around, although I would prefer not to.”

Your free hand itched to slap him, like how his did minutes ago. It wasn’t a mankind problem about men thinking they were entitled to everything; it was a Steve Rogers’s problem. Of course, with him consent didn’t matter. If he had a ‘housewife, kids and fences’ fixation, he’d make it come true.

“Do you even listen to what I say? Or your own words even? Please, go ahead! Traumatise my kid and also yours in your wooing process! Why are you so obsessed? Leave us alone, you freak! I just ignored few messages!” You had a hard time maintaining your cool, if there was any left. You were sure you were scaring Grace and no matter what happened next, you knew she was already traumatized by this entire ordeal already. You were so sorry, so, so, so sorry to your poor baby caught in this mess.

You knew, no, you hoped, he wouldn’t pull out the gun, his actions at the carnival a proof, you remembered how he hid his gun on finding Sarah. That threat was empty but the next one wasn’t, his words making you freeze in your spot.

“I think you keep on misunderstanding me, sweetheart. I don’t make empty promises,”

Posh word for threats.

“For starters, maybe I should pay my future in-laws a visit in their blue duplex. They might need help with the vast garden they have, it is the season for ‘violets’, isn’t it?”

As you froze with your parents being brought up, he also cooled, albeit differently, smirking once again gaining the upper hand, not that he lost it if you were being honest.

“Isn’t threatening my kid enough for you, Steve?” You hated how your loud voice almost broke, your anger slowly subsiding into helplessness and you hated that. You hated his guts, his entitlement, his claim; everything about him.

“You still don’t see it, do you? Our family of four is the most important thing to me right now and I’m not above doing anything to save it.”

“There is no family of four Steve! I keep explaining and you keep coming back to square one with all this bullshit!” The curse word did tick Steve off but he would correct that later, when bigger things weren’t at ploy.

“Your ignorance makes me a little mad sometimes sweetheart and that is why I have to do all I do. You haven’t realized we need each other yet, but I’m staying until you do and even after that, I promise. You know how much it pissed me off to see your tickets and the packed suitcases after I’ve been nothing but nice? I was so generous to spoil you with my riches but instead I find that in your finances.”

This fucker knew. Of course, he did!

You were wondering in the back of your head what had prompted this visit with so many threats and warnings and anguish. He was pissed even before you ‘acted out’, he tracked the tickets and the plan and that meant he even tracked-

“You have so much to learn, but luckily you interact with quite a few people. I am most tempted to start out with this Aiden guy, trying to be the hero and giving you all the ideas. Maybe I should visit him?” Steve wondered out loud, and you flinched at his suggestion, hating how you were trapped by this man.

You couldn’t live with yourself if anyone got hurt because of you, be it your parents or Aiden or any other possibility Steve would come up with. Of course, Grace was your peak priority but you doubted he would hurt her as he threatened to harm them.

“Steve, please.” The fire was almost out, your hands trembling, Grace worried and Steve smug.

“Let the kids go and I think we can come to a conclusion.”

“Steve this needs to stop.” You said, your breaths heavy and helplessness clawing away at you.

“I won’t repeat myself.” He voiced out with a threatening edge, gesturing to Grace and Wanda, clearly telling you to first get the kids out.

For a deranged fucktard, he sure cared about the kids a lot.

You loosened your hold on Grace, patting her arm softly and nudged her to Wanda. Wanda received her little hand and enticed the kids with the promise of ice-cream. Sarah clapped her hands and as the trio left, Grace did look over her shoulders at you in concern and for permission, majorly in concern though. You nodded and waved, a tear dropping as soon as the door clicked shut.

You were still staring at the door, not wanting to meet Steve’s stormy blue orbs when he began, “Today was a slip up that I won’t tolerate again. Neither the cursing nor the dramatics.”

We aren’t in a fucking play, what the fuck is he labelling as dramatics?

Your eyes slowly flickered to his, and you had a hard time not letting the tears escape except the one traitorous one earlier. The fatigue, the worry of Grace’s disappearance, the threats to your friends and family were all catching up to you. It took all in you to stay strong and not fall down right now.

“Steve this isn’t funny anymore. It’s sick and you know it! I just said no! Was that so inexcusable that you had to follow up with this? You have violated me for that, broken into my home and now kidnapped my daughter! At what extent will you stop?” You broke down finally, arms a flailing mess as fat tears rolled down. Nothing scared more than the helplessness this moment. He won and he knew it. The carnival incident was nothing in comparison to this. The only good thing you could hope in all this was a safe Grace but that too only if you complied, which seemed like what you would do now given your attempts at fighting back and scampering have failed laughably.

“Gosh, I forgot how theatrical women are. You are smart darling; you know what I want from day one, just a happy family. Nothing that horrendous has happened and especially not as badly as put it. I’m just looking out for you and me in the long run.” Steve slowly treaded towards you, his hand extended to pat your arm comfortingly but you involuntarily flinched at contact and stepped back. Steve clearly didn’t like that as he caught your arm in a bruising grip and jerked you towards him. Manhandling you as your wet hands rushed to ease his grip was not a tough task for Steve, a surprise to none.

“Stop trembling like I’ve actually done something to harm you!”

Steve clearly didn’t know how to comfort women and it showed.

You stopped with the cowering away, even though it disgusted you to be this much in close proximity with your assaulter. He clearly had anger issues and no clue how to solve them. You needed to steer the conversation right and get him out. You could see your hands visibly shake as you put them on his chest, just to create some distance and in a way of surrendering to not fight. The tears slowed but you don’t think they stopped; it was hard to tell with a million other things on your mind.

As your eyes made contact, Steve loosened his grip, clearly a bit satisfied by your submission, as he began counting to help you breathe. As much as you hated to admit, it helped you and you got a flashback to the time when you freaked out on him about Grace at that extravagant dinner date. That was a sweet gesture then, not so sweet now. Funny how drastically things change with time.

It wasn’t so much Steve’s help as it was your own mind telling you to be fucking smart about the whole ordeal right now.

“Good. Better. Now let’s talk. Why were you planning to run away? I’ve been busy and coming home to find out that wasn’t joyful, you know.” His smile suggested a better mood than before but his voice, his husky voice always had this daring edge that almost challenged you to defy him but at the same time warned you of unpleasant consequences if you did.

“Steve, I’m scared.” You spoke with utmost honesty. “The part of the world you associate yourself with scares me. You can’t blame me for not wanting that life for Grace, I mean you have a kid of your own. Wasn’t the carnival attack specifically on Sarah?”

The reasoning was right but you knew you triggered him the moment his smile evaporated. He either felt insulted as a parent or disrespected in his profession or probably both.

He was fighting his inner demons already and you pointing it out was a slap to his face, a hit he didn’t want to take.

“That was a slip up, I admit. Never again. I’m only human, okay?” He convinced himself and you, his grip tightening a bit again.

Oh no, not the right direction to take.

You reckoned he still had nightmares about it like you, he really did love Sarah a lot, all things aside.

“Besides, I am looking out for you! Out for you and Grace and Sarah. I remember my promise of never putting either of them in harm’s way ever again.”

You definitely didn’t trust his security or his people because what sort of a mobster let his daughter get targeted and possibly abducted? You definitely didn’t know the whole story or if it was just a bad day but he wasn’t a person that deserved some slack. Despite all this, you knew what all he held above you, above a common man. He might not be ‘Kingpin’ skilled but a threat to you nonetheless.

Before you could stop yourself, you blurted out, “Is that what you call following me around, huh?” which you immediately regretted.

“Trust the process, baby. Everything is just to protect you.”

Is that what he called stalking even Grace around and twistedly enough, sending you proof of that? The anonymous thread of photos was another nightmare of yours, thanks to him. The last being a candid photo inside Grace’s room, her sleeping in her bed this morning and that’s when you decided you needed to get out. Of course, that didn’t go as planned.

“How am I supposed to do that when you have cameras in my house?!” You scoffed and he reeled back at the accusation, having the nerve to look impressed at being uncovered and caught red-handed.

“Oh my fucking God, it was you! You sick pervert!” You jumped out of his grip, your eyes wide and horrified. “I wasn’t aware of what to make of it but of course, it was you! Who else would be sick enough to do that?” You let out a humorless chuckle. You always put things past him even when you keep telling yourself you shouldn’t. When will you ever learn huh?  

You were full on panicking yet again, this man was an assaulter, a stalker and a creep too. It would have made a good dark, psychological thriller for you to watch if you weren’t the protagonist about to suffer his obsession.

He reached out to steady you again, but you whipped and stumbled back, realizing too late that you elbowed Steve’s nose so bad that there was a crunch. That, right there, was the look a man real-fucking-furious on Steve’s face and now you could see the feared mobster, the man who was personally terrorizing you under the beautiful, Greek God façade.

Steve reacted so fast even with an injury that in a split second, your view of his face turned into a view of his crotch.

“You do realize that there are others ways for me to teach you obedience? I think it’s fucking time you show me your gratitude for my care and attention and apologize for your misconduct and unkind response.” Steve spoke with a hoarse voice, a voice running out of patience and just about done with defiance.

His hand fisted your hair, maintaining eye contact while he nodded between you and his crotch. You knew what he wanted, what he was expecting as ‘thanks’.

“Steve, please no, you don’t-”

His other hand grabbed your jaw, stopping you from speaking as he warned, “I think you have done just enough talking for today, so why don’t you put that tongue to a better use and show me how sorry you are. Better make it convincing because I’d hate to pay one of your friends a visit and then bitch about a nasty blowjob.” He smirked at the end of his monologue, eyes shining with triumph and amusement.

You wouldn’t let him harm anyone else, you couldn’t. You and your daughter were already knee-deep in a pit and at this point, it’d just be cruel to drag someone else in. With shaky hands opening his pants, you just hoped you could get Grace out before you eventually were buried in it.

“Now that’s a good girl. Submissive is a sexy look on you.” His hands patted your hair, playing with your tresses while yours pulled his pants and then briefs down.

His member jerked out, almost slapping you in the face as you recoiled at his insolence to get hard and erect at your torment. Your disdain must have shown which he took as admiration and derision to take his affluent cock in.

“No need to get shy, I have faith you’ll be able take it just as well in your pretty pussy as you will right now. Open up-”

“Steve, I beg you-”

Just as you had cut him off, he interrupted your pleading. Your gag reflex was probably the most efficient in the world but that turned this narcissist on. It had been years since you had done it, never with a man as beefy as Steve.

His taste was salty and if you had to put it into better words, it was the like overpriced sea salt flakes that you never bought. High and pricey and for the entitled.

Your hands clutched at his thighs as you blacked out multiple times; your jaw aching, uvula swaying and tears escaping. Him forcing himself on you brough a new sense of vulnerability as your body trembled. Steve relished like a sadist, practically rutting into you all by himself as you just sat there with your jaw unnaturally open.

His obscene moans and groans were crass and nauseating and you just prayed for this to be over soon and for no one to walk in on this, especially your kid.

It seemed like it would never end, your body dehydrating with all the spit it produced, the drool dribbling and landing just beside your knees on your printed rug. You would have to throw that out.

The tears stooped after some point, the sobbing an unnecessary action that just tired you out more on this eventful day. You moved your tongue around to prevent your teeth from scratching him when he shifted angles. If this was what he did on slightly mad, you didn’t want to find what he did for a more serious punishment.

Apparently, that action was something that turned him on even more, his breath hitching as neared closure. In broken whispers he demanded that again and you complied, wanting to get done with it.

He growled in the moment of his release and you tried to lean back but his grip didn’t relent. “Swallow.” His grainy, exasperated voice said out loud and you knew better than to defy.

He released you and you fell on to the rug, hip bruising by knocking into some furniture and tears coming back again after being hydrated by his seed. He packed himself, his smile smug and content as his expressions truly resembled ecstasy being personified.

“You be a good fiancée from now on and maybe you’ll have all your friends alive and present at our wedding. No cheeky business from now on, got it?” Steve hummed then and strutted out, not even bothering to listen to your reply.

As soon as the door slammed, your eyes closed and your demons danced again.

There was no right direction to take when you were stuck in a loop.  

[looooooooomis]

F I N A L  G I R L  |  O N E

You were his final girl.  And there was no chance in hell that anyone or anything was going to mess that up.

p a r t   o n e  |  c o r n   m a z e

masterlist here 

pairing: Billy Loomis x f!reader  word count: 4.3k warnings: implied/referenced cheating, swearing (obv), angst, drinking, fluff, pending smut + mentions of smut. as mentioned, part 2 will be allllllllll the smut x

You were going to kill Randy.

In fact, as the five of you crossed the threshold into the corn maze, you thought of the various ways you could do it without it coming back to you. You could strangle him with the tape of one of his precious Jamie Lee Curtis flicks, you could push an entire shelving unit of said movies on him during one of his shifts, hell, you could just lure him over to your house with the promise of sex before ultimately throwing him out your window. Any of the above sounded good to you tonight because the bastard was running late. Which meant that you were currently fifth wheeling on what was supposed to be a slightly boozy corn maze with your friends. Only now it was a slightly boozy corn maze with yourself and two loved up couples as you all impatiently waited for the idiot to arrive.

Yeah, you were definitely going to kill Randy.

You and Randy were friends, had been for years, and you were always there for each other when it came to these types of activities. Nobody liked being a fifth wheel but at least with two single people in your little gaggle of friends, it made things easier. You were happy as a clam being single, you preferred it in many ways if you were being honest, but at least with Randy around, you could ignore the weight of his stare.

Billy’s stare.

His brown eyes were on you constantly. You could feel them on your skin, feel them raking over every inch of you as though he was trying to soak you in from afar. His stare had a weight to it, you found. No matter how far away he was or where you two were – be it at school or hanging out or even in a goddamn corn maze – you felt him all over you.

At least with Randy around, it was easy to ignore. The two of you could joke around and escape the couples long enough to focus on anything else but the weight of Billy’s stare. But tonight, it was impossible to ignore, and you hated Randy in that moment for unknowingly leaving you with the one man you hadn’t been able to get out of your head for the better part of three years.

You hated Billy more, though, for making you feel as though every inch of your skin was on fire. For making you feel this level of guilt each and every time you hung around with Sid. Sid was one of your best friends, as was Tatum, which only made this entire situation so much worse.

“You think they’ll kick us out if they find out we’re loaded?” Stu asked with a quiet chuckle, glancing behind them for effect as though he was being tailed by the owners of the farm.

Tatum smacked his chest. “Maybe if you said it a little louder, Shit for Brains.”

Stu giggled again and slipped his hand into his jacket before pulling out a mickey of cheap vodka wrapped haphazardly in a brown paper bag. “Then I guess they’d be really mad at this.”

Tatum opened her mouth to tell him off but seeing it as your only saving grace, you reached across the divide and plucked it out of his hands to take a big sip. The vodka burned all the way down your throat, and you could feel all eyes on you as you licked the remainder of it from your lips and bottled it back up before handing it back to Stu. “You’re a saint, Stu.”

“Damn, Y/N,” Tatum laughed, “I can’t even be mad at that.”

Stu was smirking across at you, knowing exactly why you were choosing the bottle tonight which only made you feel worse than you did. Of course he knew. Where there was a Billy, there was a Stu. The pair didn’t have secrets between them much to your chagrin which only made nights like this all the more awkward.

“Everything okay, Y/N?” Sid asked, sweet as ever.

Your stomach twisted in your gut at the genuine concern radiating off of Sid’s features and your heart fell into your stomach when you watched her lovingly place her head on Billy’s shoulder. Where the fuck was Randy?

“All good, Sid,” you smacked on a breezy grin and shot her what you only hoped was a convincing wink. “I haven’t done a corn maze since I was a kid, just preparing myself is all.”

Tatum leaned into Stu’s lean torso and frowned. “Why? You scared?”

“Nah, she’s not scared,” Stu hummed, grinning across at you with a gleam in his eye. “On edge, maybe. Why so jittery, girl?”

You rolled your eyes and flipped him the bird just as Billy spoke up. “She’s not jittery, pencil dick,” his velvety voice was closer than you’d expected and when you saw him reach for the bottle in Stu’s pocket to take a rather big gulp himself, you swallowed hard. “She’s just getting this party started.”

You held his stare for a moment, feeling your entire body light up like a switchboard, before the familiar voice of Randy rang out. Breathlessly, he waved you all down and grinned. “What’s this I hear about a party?”

Tatum rolled her eyes and hugged her jacket closer to her body. “About time you got here, dick, it’s fucking freezing out here.”

“I know a way we can warm up,” Stu teased as he leaned down to nibble at her neck.

Despite your mood, you found yourself smiling across at the pair. They were a good match and you could tell that Stu genuinely made Tatum happy. Just as Billy made Sid happy. Your smile fell at the thought.

Randy’s eyes circled around your group of friends briefly before he threw an arm around your unsuspecting shoulders. “What did I miss?”

“The usual,” you chimed in, smiling across at him. “Tatum and Stu sucking face, Billy and Sid cuddling up and me drinking my weight in cheap beer from Stu’s dad’s mini fridge in the garage.”

Randy grinned. “I chugged a couple beers before I left the video store, so good to know we’re all on the same level.”

Your chest was already starting to feel lighter now that Randy was around. Granted, Billy’s eyes hadn’t left yours for a second since Randy slung his arm around you, but that was to be expected. At least you had Randy here now. With that kind of distraction, you’d be just fine.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” Billy suggested, running a hand through his unruly mop of brown hair. When everyone’s eyes were on him, you could have sworn he gave you a little smirk before shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. “We should split up.”

“Fuck that,” Tatum laughed, “no chance in hell.”

“Yeah,” Sid agreed quietly, “I don’t know.”

“That’s literally what they tell you not to do in scary movies,” you chuckled. “When everyone splits up, trouble starts.”

Sid shivered and leaned into Billy’s chest. “Yeah, Billy, I don’t know. I don’t think that’s a great idea.”

“Oh, come on,” he was grinning excitedly now, looking between Stu and Randy for backup. “It’ll be like the movies. Dumb teenagers wander into a corn maze and split up for the sake of the plot. Halloween’s tomorrow - why the hell not, right?”

A slow grin began to pull on Stu’s face as he listened to Billy. There was a mutual understanding between the two men in that instance and if you blinked for just a second longer, you would have missed it.

It made you nervous.

“Dumb teens wander into a corn maze on the night before Halloween,” Randy repeated, “you know what, I like it. I’m in.”

You snapped your neck up to look at him. “What the hell happened to the Do’s and Don’ts of a horror movie? This is easily number one: Don’t split up.”

But Randy only shrugged. “I’m still a virgin, I’m safe.”  

“How about you three idiots stick together,” Tatum gestured to the boys, “and the three of us stick together. Whoever makes it out first gets a prize.”

You and Sid were nodding along to her words, but Stu simply pulled her in for a quick kiss and laughed. “Or we all split up and see where the night takes us.”

“I’m not Lewis and Clark, Stu,” you grumbled, “I had every intention of letting Randy and Sid lead us out of here alive while the rest of us idiots followed.”

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” Billy smirked across at you, “I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Sid seemed to still be unsure of the entire situation as she mulled over the suggestion. “Y/N is right, what if people get left behind?”

“It’s corn, not the berlin wall,” Stu pointed out incredulously. “Fucking walk through the stacks until you find an exit if you get too lost.” As if on cue, Stu’s eyes lit up as he noticed one particular bend of the maze that held six different options. With a burst of laughter, he took off running towards it and pointed to his newfound discovery. “If this isn’t fate, I don’t know what is.”

You, Sid, and Tatum begrudgingly followed the boys to where Stu now stood giddily beaming across at everyone. “This is a stupid fucking idea,” Tatum grumbled as she took her place in the row beside her boyfriend. “We only brought one flashlight, how do you idiots plan on seeing the route?”

“Here,” Billy gently tossed the flashlight to Tatum and shrugged. “Moon is bright enough for me.”

With another roll of her eyes Tatum flicked the flashlight on and scowled across at her route. “Girls, if you see a flashlight, come to me.”

Stu laughed. “What about me?”

“You lost that right when you agreed to this stupid idea,” she groused. “You’re on your own.”

Grinning – and probably much drunker than he gave himself credit for – Stu rubbed his hands together and began counting down from three.

“You okay to do this, Sid?” You found yourself asking. Her mother had only died a few months prior and the idea of the poor girl meandering around alone in a cornfield sounded barbaric considering what she’d just been through.

“I’m fine,” Sid vowed, “I’ll see you guys soon.”

“It’s okay, Sid,” Randy muttered. “You’re safe, I promise.”

By the time Stu reached one, you took a hesitant step forward and embraced the darkness that surrounded you once you delved further and further down your path. You could hear the footsteps and crunches of the stacks around you as your friends eventually all split up to take their own trail and you swore that you heard Randy bump into Sid a few minutes in, putting you slightly at ease to know she wasn’t going through the maze alone. But, as time went on and you continued to circle the gigantic moonlight maze by yourself, your nerves began to eat away at you.

You weren’t one to scare easy but there was something about being on your own in the middle of a corn maze that was eerily off-putting. You’d seen Children of the Corn one too many times to feel at ease right now and the fact you could only see a few feet in front of you at any given time wasn’t helping one iota.

Hugging your denim jacket tighter around your body, you turned left and were met with a dead end. Groaning, you threw your head back in defeat and turned on your heel to retrace your steps but stopped when you heard a loud snap come from the wall of tall corn stacks before you. Swallowing hard, you narrowed your eyes in an attempt to see through the wall of decaying crop, but it was to no avail.

You couldn’t see a damned thing.

Another snap of a corn stock echoed out before you, making your skin crawl. Why the fuck had you agreed to splitting up? This is exactly how every horror movie you’d ever seen started and sure enough, here you were. About to be killed by a child of the corn on the eve of your favourite holiday.

Another snap.

And then, just as you were prepared to run for your life, a husky raccoon came bounding out of the thick hedge with a mouthful of hard corn. Your scream caught in your throat as you jumped back from the wild animal but, before you could think of bounding away, your back connected into someone’s chest.

With a high-pitched yelp, you turned only to be met with Billy’s wide brown eyes watching your every move. “Hey,” he cooed, reaching across to steady you. “You okay?”

That familiar cologne of his hit you like a tonne of bricks and for just a second, you allowed yourself to get lost in it. You knew that smell well. You couldn’t count how many times you’d woken up to that smell all over your pillows and sheets, wafting all over your bedroom like a slow mist that never quite subsided. Swallowing hard, you blinked out of your reverie and took an instinctual step back. “I’m fine,” you breathed out, “a racoon just scared me, is all.”

He glanced over your shoulder briefly before those brown pools soaked you in yet again. “You sure you’re okay?” He asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “You’ve barely said a word to me all week.”

You offered him a polite smile. “I’m fine, Billy. Just been a busy week. With swimming practice and—”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he muttered, voice strained. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Billy,” you sighed, pinching your brow, “I’m not doing this here. We can’t.”

His brows pulled together and a pained look crossed over his handsome features. “I meant what I said,” he rasped out. “You’re my girl, Y/N.”

“No, see that’s bullshit, Billy,” you bit back, “Sid is your girl. I’m just an easy lay. That’s all I’ve been for the last six months and I can’t do it anymore. I won’t.”

“You can’t believe that,” he stepped towards you and visibly flinched when you stepped back. “Sure, Sid’s a good girl but it’s compli—”

“Complicated,” you choked, “yeah, you’ve mentioned that a few hundred times in the last six months, Billy. And you’re right. It is complicated because me and you are making it complicated. For god’s sake, she’s one of my best friends, Billy. I’m fucking one of my best friends’ boyfriends. Do you get how fucked up that is?”

“Me and Sid are complicated,” he reiterated, ignoring your little tirade entirely. “But me and you, sweetheart, we work. We’ve always worked. You’re it for me. You’re my final girl.”

You shook your head and grabbed his wrist, yanking him closer to you to avoid having one of your friends creep up on the two of you and hear him rambling on. “Jesus, scream it a little louder, moron,” you growled, pulling him into the corner of the maze where the racoon had just jumped out of. “What is wrong with you? Do you want one of them to hear you?”

“I don’t care,” he admitted, “I miss you. I miss feeling you squirm against me when we watch a scary movie. I miss smelling you all over me the next morning. My fucking pillow smells like your shampoo and the fact that you haven’t so much as said a word to me this week is killing me, Y/N.”  

Looking over his shoulder to ensure none of your friends were coming, you nearly hissed as you pulled him further into the thick wall of corn stocks. The tall stacks towered over the two of you and shielded you away from any prying eyes.

“One week, Billy. It’s been one week and it’s hurting you? Try being in love with someone for three fucking years and watching them fall in love with someone else. And then, when he can’t get his whistle wet with his girlfriend, he ends up in your bed.” You ground your teeth together in an effort to control the burst of emotion pounding in your chest. “That is the shit that hurts, Billy. I wasn’t good enough to be your girlfriend, but I was easy enough for you to sleep with and I was so enamoured with you that I was willing to overlook the fact I’m hurting Sid each and every time we do it. I won’t do it anymore.”

The moon managed to seep in through a barren patch of the maze wall and struck Billy in such a way that you lost your breath. Those brown eyes you’d fallen in love with all those years back were glued to your face. He’d always had this air of intensity about him but, right now, looking at the long shadows cast against his face from the illumination of the moon, that intensity had all but dissipated. You’d never seen Billy look more beautiful in your life.

The silence that followed your words was thick and tense, but those damn eyes never left your face. Not even for a second. Slowly, Billy leaned in and, in the softest voice you’d ever heard him speak, he managed to break your heart all over again. “You love me?”

“Oh, shut-up,” you snarled, “like you didn’t know.”

“How the fuck would I have known that?” he whispered, taking a step closer to you. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you?” You snapped. “Billy, you have a girlfriend. I’m already fucking you, what am I going to do? Confess all of this in between sucking your dick and packing up before Sidney catches wind of us?”

“Don’t cheapen it,” he cautioned, “not when it comes to us.”

“There is no ‘us’, Billy!” You reminded him. “There is a you and there is a Sidney. Then there is me.”

“Fuck Sidney,” he snarled through gritted teeth. “And don’t act like it’s only been sex between us.”

You snorted. “Maybe the odd movie, sure.”

Anger flickered across his face as he took another step closer, backing you into a particularly sturdy corn stock. This was a side of Billy you rarely saw, this unhinged almost animalistic side that came out when his emotions got too overwhelming. You’d seen this look only once before. It was few weeks into your sneaky little affair when Billy had snuck in through your bedroom window with red, bloodshot eyes and bleeding knuckles. It was the night his mother had left, and he’d just had lost a one-sided fight with the brick wall of his house.

“You were there for me when nobody else was,” he leaned his forehead against yours and you watched the muscle in his cheek clench several times over as he chewed on his words. “When my mother left, you were the one that was there for me. Not Sidney, not my father – you.” You felt his hands trail up your jean-clad hips before guiding your hips towards the thick corn stock behind you. You should have pushed him away, stuck to your guns, and ran off to find the rest of your friends. But, you couldn’t. Not with Billy looking at you the way he was.

“Billy,” you tried, but there was no conviction behind it. “I meant what I said.”

“Which part?” He asked. “When you said you loved me or when you said you couldn’t do this anymore.”  

“Both,” you told him. “Sidney’s a good friend and—”

A growl escaped his throat as he shut his eyes, but he never stepped away. With his forehead still leaning against yours, it was as though he was afraid to break contact in fear of losing you all over again. “Can we not talk about Sid for one goddamn second?” He took a few even breaths before those brown eyes opened back up, capturing your gaze instantly. “I love you.”

“Don’t,” you warned him. This time it was your turn to shut your eyes as the pain of hearing those three little words sliced you from stem to stern. “That’s not fair, Billy.”

“What? You don’t believe me?” You felt his hands slither up the side of your waist and up the length of your body until they cradled your face. “Look at me.”

“No,” you griped, “to both of your questions. Don’t say shit you don’t mean, not when it comes to that. It’s cruel.”

His calloused thumb danced across the apple of your cheek. “Look at me,” he demanded, barely above a whisper. “Sweetheart, look at me.” Frowning, you opened your eyes but remained silent. Bumping your nose with his, Billy pushed your hair back and away from your face and shook his head. “I fucking love you.”

“You’re with Sidney,” you reminded him, sounding like a broken record. “If you loved me, we wouldn’t be hiding in the middle of a goddamn corn maze while our friends blindly stumble around looking for the exit.”

“Stu knows,” he admitted. “And when it’s a good time, so will everyone else.”

“Colour me shocked,” you rolled your eyes. “Stu knows everything.”

“You think I don’t want to parade you all over town?” Billy questioned. “I get so heated when I see Randy or any of those goons on the football team flirt with you. I want you every second of the day.”

You swallowed hard. “Then please, Billy, just be honest with me. Tell me why things are so fucking complicated with Sid? I get break-ups are hard but cheating on her isn’t the answer.”

Billy was truly torn as he took in the desperation in your eyes. Things with Sid were complicated but not in the way you thought they were. There were no feelings involved with Sid, at least not the romantic kind, but there was no chance in hell he was divulging his plans with Sidney. Not with you. He couldn’t stomach the idea of losing you knowing full-well you’d try and sway him on it. Or worse. What if you went to the police about it? What if you tried to stop him? No. He wasn’t getting you involved. You were the one person in his life who hadn’t let him down and he was hell-bent on doing the same for you.

The less you knew, the better.

“Just give me some time, alright?” He pleaded, grabbing your hands to ghost his lips across your knuckles. “She’s still dealing with the loss of her mother. I can’t spring a break-up on her, too. Not yet. But soon,” he kissed your hand, “I promise.”

“I don’t want to hurt her any more than we already have, Billy,” you told him, “we could end this here and now and then when you do break-up, we can continue whatever the hell this is. But we shouldn’t d—”

Before you could say another word, he leaned forward and captured your lips in a bruising kiss. Everything about this man was electric and despite everything –  the guilt, the secrets, all of it – the way his lips seemed to mould against yours so perfectly, stopped you dead in your tracks. Placing sloppy kisses down from your mouth and along your jaw, Billy nipped at your ear. “I really do fucking love you.”

You leaned into the kiss and tangled your fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends. A low growl rumbled in his throat as he continued his assault down your jaw towards your neck where he nipped and sucked at the sensitive flesh. “You give me a fucking hickey and you’re dead,” you chastised breathlessly. When he responded with a gentle bite, you gave his hair another gentle tug. “I mean it, Loomis.”

Pulling back from your neck, you were met with one of Billy’s rare but genuine grins. He was all teeth as he leaned his forehead against yours again, scraping his thumbnail gently across your cheek as he fought to catch his breath. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

“Your girlfriend would beg to differ, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Groaning quietly at the mess you and Billy had created for yourselves, you reached up and pushed a strand of his brown hair back and away from his face. “We should go,” you told him. “Before anyone besides Stu finds us.”

Giving you one final peck, he nodded in agreement and pushed a few stocks aside for you to escape from. Before you stepped out of the covering, however, Billy reached for your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I promise, Y/N, everything is going to work out for us.”

Giving him a small, resigned smile, you leaned in and gave him a quick, chaste kiss. “I’ll leave my bedroom window open tonight,” you told him. “Do what you will with that information.”

Billy watched you disappear back into the maze with a shit-eating grin on his face. God, he was in deep with you. Too deep, perhaps, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Not yet, at least. For now, he had you back and he had no intention of letting you go again.

part two HERE

[narutogwriting]

dude your writing is superior, especially the Kiba one 🥵 would you consider making a part two to that one? I’m kinda hooked on the story now ngl

Thank you so much 🥺 Your guys’ asks make me so happy! Imma keep it real, I’m not stoked with how this one turned out, but I hope you like it!

Eat Your Words Pt 2

Pairing: Kiba Inuzuka x Reader

CW: NSFW; creampie

Length: 2.6k+

Summary: Kiba is your jerk of an ex boyfriend. After making the mistake of sleeping with him again,  you have some harsh words for him that leave him reeling.

Inspired by me wanting Kiba to rail me into oblivion

Please don’t tag as NSFW!

“Hey, what’re you so upset for!?” Kiba called as you shoved him off of you and got out of his bed. God, why had you done that!? Kiba sits up, propped up on his elbows as he watches you march around the room, grabbing your clothes and pulling them back on. You shook your head, waiting until you were fully clothed before turning on him.

“Are you kidding me?!” You snapped. “This is the problem, Kiba! This has always been your problem.” Shaking your head, you picked up Kiba’s own shirt to throw at him. “You think you can solve everything with sex! You think that everything’s okay, and I’m gonna stay just because I let you fuck me?”

Kiba rolled his eyes at you, tossing his shirt back on the floor.  He lounged back in bed, his hands folded behind his head. Kiba obviously had no shame as he laid back completely naked, not even trying to cover up.

“I can’t help it if I have a magic dick.” He snickered. “Not my fault that the sex is that good.” Kiba shot you a wolfish grin, being playful and deflecting as he always did. Did he even know how to have a serious conversation?

Gritting your teeth, you stalked to the side of his bed, surprising him with your vehemency. He could feel the anger radiating off of you. “Let me tell you something, Kiba.” You spat, standing over him. “Yeah, you might be good at fucking,” you said the word pointedly, wanting to make sure he understood the distinction. “But sex? Intimacy? Making a girl feel really good?” You gave a humorless laugh. “You have no idea about that. Even if you go home with a girl every night for the rest of your life, you’re always gonna be alone.”

~

Those words stayed with Kiba, ringing in his head constantly as the days passed. What had you meant by all of that? He tried to pretend it didn’t bother him, but something about it had shaken him to his core.

After you’d left, taking your shit with you just like you’d originally wanted, he’d gone straight to Ino’s house. He was pissed and annoyed and confused and needed some help letting out steam.

So he’d pounded her into the mattress doggy style, making her scream and moan just the way he liked. You’d told him he didn’t know how to make a girl feel good, but he thought that Ino would beg to differ. He spent an hour making her cum around his cock before he finally found his own release. When they collapsed into bed, Kiba found his arm slinking around Ino, something he usually didn’t do.

“That was good, right?” He asked her. 

“Oh yeah,” Ino sighed, sitting up and running a hand through her hair. “Great as always,” she told him as she made a move to get out of bed, but he stopped her with a squeeze to her hips. 

“Where ya going? I thought we could like, lay here, ya know? Cuddle and talk and shit.”

Turning to look at him, Ino gave Kiba an incredulous look, actually laughed at him, making him go red. “What the hell are you talking about?” She asked, pushing his hand off of her so she could get up. “That's… Not what this is.”

Feeling his cheeks burning, Kiba crossed his arms. “What do you mean ‘that’s not what this is’?” He muttered.

As Ino pulled on her top, she glanced back at him. “Kiba, you’re fun for like… a good time,” She explained gently. “But when it comes to that emotional shit, well, I have other guys I go to that for. That’s boyfriend shit, and you don’t exactly fit that bill…”

~

Kiba walked through the village, his head whirling. Did girls really not see him as boyfriend material? Just as a quick fuck? Kiba had never been super into relationships, really had only ever focused on hooking up before, but he’d never considered that maybe girls didn’t want to date him either. He was a catch! Wasn’t he?

He began to think more and more about what you’d meant, that he could fuck, but he didn’t know how to have sex? Well, what was the difference?

The brain has a way of picking up patterns. Once presented with new information, it will begin to recognize that information everywhere. That’s what was happening to Kiba, and it was happening specifically with you.

What had he been hoping for after you slept together? That you would look at him with heart eyes again and fall back head over heels? Break up with gyoza boy and come back to him? 

Well, yeah. That’s exactly what he’d been hoping.

Because, okay, yeah, he was aware that he wasn’t exactly the perfect boyfriend. He knew he wasn’t always as attentive to your needs as you were to his, was realizing that sometimes when you just wanted a kiss and a hug, he was dragging you back to the bedroom before he even recognized something might be wrong.

He was selfish and self-centered and arrogant and okay, now he got it. He was the worst boyfriend. And maybe you wouldn’t understand this, wouldn’t believe him and he couldn’t even blame you for it, but Kiba did love you. He loved you in the way he knew how.

And he could list it all out for you. He loved your eyes, how bright they were, and especially the way they lit up when you looked at him, like he was the center of your whole world. He loved the smile you got when you would see him for the first time all day. He loved the way you brushed your hair behind your ear when you were nervous and the giggle you gave when you were embarrassed.

Kiba loved how you’d pull him into the grass, tell him the stories you saw in the clouds. Some days you would stay there until the sky was dark and splattered with stars, and then you would tell him the stories they told too.

Kiba did love you, he really did. You were the first, the only girl he’d ever wanted to be in a relationship with. But he didn’t realize just how bad he was at showing it. 

So when you were yelling at him for the millionth time because he forgot another date night he’d sworn he’d plan, he didn’t get how upset you were, thought you were overreacting. You guys spent plenty of time together; why did this specific instance matter?

He was taken off guard, absolutely blown away, when you’d broken up with him. He hadn’t even bothered trying to argue with it because there was no way you were serious, right? He’d laughed, told you “sure thing,” and gone back home waiting for you to show up at his door.

He waited for a week before he’d realized you weren’t coming. 

And he couldn’t understand it, thought you were overreacting, and he was so pissed. Kiba wasn’t emotionally mature enough to realize what he was feeling wasn’t anger; it was actually heartbreak. So he’d gone out, gotten drunk, and went home with the first person that was willing.

Except they didn’t go home. Kiba took Ino right there in the alley outside the bar. Enough privacy that not everyone would see, but public enough that at least someone would see, and surely word would get back to you. 

Thinking about it now, he could see why that was so stupid. He’d only wanted to make you jealous, hadn’t even considered that it may leave your heart shattered. But he got it now. He understood very well how horrible you must’ve felt, because he felt it now, watching you with gyoza boy.

So maybe it was a little creepy--okay, a lot creepy--but he followed you and your boyfriend around when he saw the two of you out and about. You’d gone right from Kiba’s house to his, he guessed. Fine, let’s see what a good boyfriend he is then.

And Kiba could see it, all the things that this new guy did that he never had. You always had this bag you carried around with you no matter where you were, almost instinctively. It’d always annoyed Kiba for really no reason at all. But gyoza boy was carrying that bag for you, had it slung over his own shoulder as he held your hand.

Kiba had never really held your hand much. It’s not like he didn’t like it; it just didn’t cross his mind usually, and he didn’t really think it was that big of a deal. Gyoza boy not only held your hand, but he spun you around as you walked, not carrying how silly it looked. Kiba always cared.

He saw the way you laughed, how happy you appeared to be. When you talked, your boyfriend leaned into you, eyes locked on yours. It was clear that you had  his full, undivided attention. 

And really, those things were so small, but it was all you’d ever wanted. The little things, like having fun in public and those touches of affection and for someone, for Kiba, to just make you feel important. Nothing felt worse than being taken for granted by the person you loved the most.

Kiba realized just how neglectful he’d been.

~ “Kiba? Again?” Ino asked with a sly smile, leaning against her doorway. Kiba shook his head, rolling his eyes. “No, Ino. It’s not that. I need your help…”

~

Weeks had gone by since your mistaken hookup with Kiba. You’d beaten yourself up for that constantly. You’d felt like you had the upper hand when you broke up with him, but you gave the power right back to him when you let him in your pants knowing you had a boyfriend at home.

You’d broken up with “gyoza boy” just a a week after the hookup. The guilt from cheating on him with Kiba had been eating you alive, and besides that, there just wasn’t that spark. He was such a nice, sweet guy, but you didn’t feel anything when you were with him. Not like you did with Kiba. With him, you felt everything.

And speaking of Kiba, you were about to walk right past him. You definitely weren’t ready for that interaction. You steeled yourself, preparing for some snide comment or jab at you. You weren’t ready when Kiba stopped, smiling at you and asking you how you were.

“I’m fine…” You blinked, surprised.

“That’s good. It’s been a long time…” Kiba was being polite, making small talk, and it threw you.  You nodded awkwardly. “But, I’ve been meaning to tell you,” He continued. “There’s a few more things you left at my house. If you wanted to come get them…”

You gritted your teeth, rolling your eyes. Of course. You should’ve known. “I’m busy right now,” you practically snapped. “I’ll stop by later. But my clothes will be staying on.”

When you did finally make your way to Kiba’s later that evening, it was with extreme reluctance. You were certain that all Kiba wanted was another excuse to try and get you into bed. You were going to do your absolute best to not engage any of his antics or let him get to you and end up like last time.

You knocked on the door, crossing your arms, preparing for a shirtless, or even just a boxer clad Kiba to open the door. Instead, he opened it wearing exactly what you’d seen him wearing earlier in the day. He was fully clothed, didn’t have that arrogant smirk on his face, and was opening the door to let you in rather than staring at you like a piece of meat. You didn’t think your guard had ever been up so high. Eyeing Kiba suspiciously, you stepped by him, entering the house and going to the table where a small box was. Shifting through it, they were all little things you definitely hadn’t been missing. A couple hair ties, a few bobbypins, even a sock without it’s match.

You couldn’t help but scowl. This wasn’t anything you needed. Kiba must’ve been luring you here to sleep with you again just like you thought.

You turned on him, shoving the box across the table. “Seriously, Kiba?” You glowered. “What the fuck would I want any of this for? You could’ve just tossed it. I’m leaving.” As you moved to push past him, Kiba saying your name made you stop. It was unwillingly, like your body was on autopilot, responding to his name instinctively. You couldn’t help but groan to yourself as you turned to glare at him. “What?” You snapped.

Kiba turned then, going to the counter and reaching behind it before pulling out a painting. He held it sheepishly in front of him for you to see.

It was two small figures, laying in the grass looking up at the blue sky with white clouds painted against the backdrop. In all honesty, it looked like something a child would have made, but you were pretty sure by the red on Kiba’s cheeks that he’d done it. “What is it?” You asked him.

“A story.” Kiba replied, moving closer. “It’s in the clouds, ya see? A story about a guy who was a complete idiot and who lost the girl that he really loved, and how it took losing her to see how dumb he really was.” He pointed to the clouds which looked like blobs instead of cohesive shapes, but you knew what he meant. You always used to tell him stories, random things you made up when looking at the sky. It was one of the only times you ever thought Kiba was really listening to you.

Setting the picture down, Kiba stepped closer to you. “It’s a present… I just wanted to give it to you to say I’m sorry… I’ve been thinking a lot since the last time we saw each other, and I realized that you were right. I was a really bad guy to you, and you deserved better.”

Despite how skeptical you may have been under usual circumstances, you could see right away that Kiba was being serious. There was no facade or part he was playing. He was being open and honest with you, and you were taken aback by his gesture. He’d actually painted you a picture of one of your favorite things to do with him. It was one of the sweetest gestures you’d ever received.

“You made this for me?” You whispered.

“You don’t gotta believe me…” Kiba continued, rubbing the back of his neck. “But you deserved an apology. You were always so good to me, and I really loved you for that.. But I also realized I took you for granted. It’s my biggest regret. I never wanted to lose you, but I know that you deserve to have a guy that spoils you and loves you in ways you can feel it.”

Your heart was fluttering as you felt heat rising to your cheeks. Where was all this coming from? All you’d ever wanted from Kiba was for him to say something like this, to put in some effort and show he cared.

“What… what made you realize all of this?”

Kiba paused for a second, blushing before finally answering. “After you put me in my place last time, Ino told me I wasn’t boyfriend material… It was all pretty humbling, not gonna lie.” He gave a small snicker. “I really got my ass handed to me. Then later that day, I saw you with gyoza boy and how happy you were… It really put everything into perspective. I’m glad you’re happy with him, though. I hope he treats you better than I did…  But it made me want to change. The past few weeks, Ino has basically been pointing out every single flaw I have for me to fix.” He shrugged. “It’s been rough. I knew I had one or two, but turns out I have a lot.” You’d never seen Kiba so earnest and vulnerable before. You felt yourself getting hopeful, even though you weren’t sure for what. “Actually…” You admitted, meeting his gaze. “I broke up with gyoza boy a few weeks ago.”

That took Kiba off guard. His eyes widened considerably as he spluttered all over his words. “O-oh, you did? T-that’s… That’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear that.”

The laugh came out of you before you could stop it. “No you’re not,” You told him, giving him a knowing smile. He returned it with a big grin. “I’m not…” He admitted. “But I do just want you to be happy.”

There was a pause that lingered between the two of you. The hope began to bubble in your stomach, rising up and squeezing your heart. You wanted to be happy, too, but you wanted to be happy with Kiba. You loved him too, as much as you tried to hide it. And now, you thought that maybe, just maybe, he was ready to be the person you always knew he could be.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but you grabbed his shirt, pulling him down into a kiss. He made a noise of surprise before finally relaxing into it, kissing you back softly. His hand went to the small of your back, pulling you closer.

Then suddenly, he was pulling back, staring down at you with a conflicted expression. “Wait, are you sure?” He asked you. “I don’t want to rush anything, ya know, or mess things up…” 

A small smile played on your lips. He really was changing. “I want to be with you, Kiba. That is… If you still want to be with me?”

Kiba grinned. “So you’re giving me a second chance?” In response, you kissed him again, this time more earnestly than the last. You melted into him easily, everything about him familiar. One of Kiba’s hands was cupping your cheek as his tongue slid across your bottom lip.

Without breaking the kiss, you began to back him up, wanting to go to his room. “Wait,” Kiba was mumbling against your lips, causing you to just hum in response. “We don’t have to do anything,” He tried again. 

The two of you were in his room by now. You finally pulled away,  breathing heavy. “I want to,” You told him, staring up at him with wide, lusting eyes.

Kiba paused, wanting to be sure you were sure. Then he smiled, pulling you into him again. You made a move to pull off your shirt, but he stopped you. “I got this, baby.” He murmured against your neck, laying you down on his bed. 

Kiba continued to lay soft, open mouth kisses as he hovered over you, his hands running down your sides before moving back up, slipping up under your shirt. You shivered feeling the cold of his hands as he began to nip and suck at your skin.

He broke the kiss to pull at the hem of your shirt, peeling it slowly from your body. With it tossed aside, he reattached his lips to your neck, kissing agonizingly slow down to your collarbone. “Kiba,” You whined, your hands going to fumble with the buttons on his pants.

“Not uh, baby girl…” Kiba smirked, taking your hands and pinning them above your head with one of his. “‘Mma take care of you.” The way he breathed the words against your skin made you tremble.

With his free hand, he reached under you to unhook your bra. He released his hold on your hands to pull the fabric from your body before pinning you down again. Kiba kissed lower until he got to your breasts.

His tongue traced over your nipple lightly, making your back arch. You could feel his prideful smile against your skin. His free hand began to massage your breast as he took the entire nipple in his mouth, sucking as he let his tongue flick over the nipple again and again before switching to the other one.

Your mouth was hanging open as you shook with anticipation, your pussy already wet and throbbing. Kiba released your breast before settling between your legs, grinding against your heat as he kissed you fiercely. 

His tongue moved against yours as you felt him hard and dragging against you. There wasn’t enough friction, too much fabric between the two of you. You needed it gone. “Kiba, please,” You whined against his mouth. He broke the kiss, trailing his lips down your body, moving down your stomach to your hips. You tried to arch into his touch, but he had your hips pinned.

Unbuttoning your pants, he drug them slowly down your legs, pulling them off and discarding them to the side. His lips skipped past your aching arousal to your inner thighs. He was more rough this time, nipping and sucking harsh bruises into the sensitive skin.

Finally, after an agonizing time of him teasing and kissing anywhere but your covered cunt, he sipped his fingers under the band of your panties, pulling them down to expose your sex.

“You want me, darling?” Kiba askes, kissing at your thighs one last time. You nodded furiously. 

“Please!” You begged. Kiba didn’t waste time after that, pressing two fingers into your dripping cunt, causing you to cry out. He began to pump them steadily as you writhed and moaned underneath him.

His tongue lapped around his fingers before licking your clit with harsh, quick motions. His fingers curled inside of you in time with his licks, leaving you breathless and shaking.

“Kiba, Kiba, Kiba….” You chanted his name like a prayers, begging and pleading for him. 

“Nuh uh. Not until you cum around my fingers…” Kiba taunted, increasing his motions. He lapped at your clint incessantly, his fingers pressing deeper and deeper. The pleasure in you continued to build until you were clenching and cumming around him, screaming his name. 

“You’re so greedy, sweetheart. Your cunts sucking my fingers back inside you.” He laughed softly as he continued his actions, taking his time with you. It was all overwhelming in the best way.

You were almost limp by the time he was pressing inside of you, sliding slow and easy into your dripping pussy. Fully sheathed, he leaned over you, kissing you gently as he rocked himself into you. It was different than his normal, rough pace that he usually set, but it had your head reeling all the same. 

When he had one of your legs over his shoulder, his cock touching parts of you even deeper than your fingers could touch, he pressed kisses into your calves.

“Fuck, you feel so good baby. I love the way you clench around me, pulling me inside you. You don’t want to let my cock go, do you sweetheart? You like being fucked like this, don’t you? Slowly, having to wait for me to give it to you even when you want me to pound you into the bed.”

It was agonizing, the pace he set. It had you coming undone in ways you never had before. Rather than the constant, almost painful overstimulating orgasms you were used to with Kiba, there was only this one, building up steadily and so intense it had you seeing stars. Your vision went white as the coil in your stomach finally unraveled, and you were cuming, cuming so hard you almost arched off Kiba’s cock with a sob.

“There’s my girl,” Kiba mumbled into your neck as your felt his hips start to smack into yours more erratically until he was spilling inside of you, calling your name as his hips continued to jolt into yours as he chased his high. “Fuck,” he breathed, kissing gently down your shoulder.

You were still speechless, the world spinning around you. All you could do was smile up at him, fucked out of your mind. 

“I love you,” Kiba chuckled, pressing a kiss into your lips. “Now, what were you saying about me not knowing how to make a girl feel really good?”

[writemywaytoyourheart]

BTS Reaction: Accidentally Hurting You During A Fight

Requested: many many moons ago. but like I said, ya girl is working her tail off to get these done now and I'm so sorry ;-; also, I made it more accidental, I felt like you have to intentionally slap someone, but idk maybe I'm wrong haha

Genre: fluff, angst if ya squint real good -_-

Warnings: nothing really, this is all pure accidental, no abuse.

Hope you like it^^

============================

KIM SEOKJIN:

chip.exe. has stopped working

Your husband angrily unbuckles his seat belt and gets out of the car, slamming his door and stalking towards the house. You sigh and unbuckle, not really wanting to follow him in but not really having any other choice.

When you open the door, you see him on the couch, a scowl on his face as he scrolls on his phone. You sigh again and sit on the couch a bit away from him. “Jin, why are you mad at me? It wasn’t my idea for them to invite him.” You pout and he scoffs before looking at you over his phone.

“You should’ve known your friends would do something like that.”

It’s true.

They weren’t the best group of people, you only hung out with them because you don’t have many other friends. You know they only befriended you because your husband is famous, but again, you’re lonely. But you really didn’t know they would be inviting your ex to the party. You would never have gone if you did. Still, you could’ve made better decisions.

“Jin please, I was stupid and I’ll admit that. Please don’t be mad at me.”

He gets up from the couch and walks away, wanting to calm down in the room before discussing things further. He just needs to take a minute to collect his thoughts.

Your ex was abusive and dangerous, and Seokjin got scared. He was scared for your safety and it came out in anger this time, knowing something bad could’ve happened to you.

He doesn’t realize you followed him though, so he shuts the bedroom door roughly and it swings back hitting you right in the face just as you were about to go in after him. He flinches when he hears a loud bang and you gasp in pain.

“Ouch! What was that for?” You hold your nose gingerly and glare at him, thinking he did it on purpose. Jin looks really confused until he realizes what happened. Then he gasps and walks over to you. “Oh my gosh, princess I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were there.” He frowns and reaches out to take your face gently. You try to hide your smile at the fact that he called you by your favorite pet name, which means he’s not angry anymore.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says again sadly, so you smile and hug him, “Oh it’s fine. It doesn’t hurt too bad anymore.” Jin hugs you back and kisses your head sweetly.

“I’m also sorry for getting so angry with you. I was just afraid what might happen to you, and it came out wrong.” He says quietly, still hugging you tightly. You hum and tuck your face into the crook of his neck, giving him a kiss to let him know everything is okay. 

“Let’s get some ice for your nose, princess.” Jin says before sweeping you up off the ground and carrying you bridal style to the living room

MIN YOONGI:

I want an hug 

“Yoongi~ Please come g-get me, I’mmm dlunk…I sink…I sink I dlunk but I no know any...what?”

Yoongi groans at the sound of your voice coming through the phone. He knew this would happen. You insisted on going out with your girls tonight and he just knew it would end up like this. He takes a deep breath and tries to stay calm.

“Where are you?” He grits out.

You hiccup and shrug even though he can’t see it. “I sink I’m at the bar? I sink maybe?”

He groans again as he grabs his jacket and car keys, “Which bar, Y/n? I’m going to come get you. But I need to know which one you’re at.”

“Umm….um I’m at this bar I sink.”

Yoongi curses and tells you to sit down and not move until he gets there. Then he looks up your phone on the tracker you and he have for instances such as these. He quickly locates you and jumps in the car to go and get you.

When he sees you leaning against the wall outside the bar with a man that’s getting up in your grill, he grits his teeth and stomps towards the pair of you. The man is yanked to the side by Yoongi grabbing his collar, then you feel a strong grip on your arm. “Ow. That hurts.” You whine, but your husband isn’t having it. He drags you away from the bar and towards the car.

On the way, your heel twists and you trip from how hard he’s pulling you. You fall on the ground and hiss in pain. “Ouch! You’re a meanie!” You cry, touching your sore ankle tenderly.

Yoongi immediately feels guilty. He crouches down and touches your ankle, pulling back when you wince. “Sorry, love. I didn’t mean to make you trip.” Through your drunken state you can see him frown, so you pat his cheek, a bit hard, and smile goofily. “Is okiiieee baby, I fowgive you.”

He chuckles and scoops you up in his arms, still feeling really bad about hurting you. He carries you to the car and up the stairs when you get home. Getting you a glass of water and some headache medicine, he sits on the edge of the bed and holds your hand until you’re out like a light.

JUNG HOSEOK:

oh save me 

“I said I’m not finished, Y/n!” Hoseok raises his voice and you frown at his attitude. “Ok, you know what? I didn’t do anything wrong for you to treat me this way, Hobi. You promised you’d have dinner with me tonight and now I find you still practicing after everyone else has gone home. How is that fair to me?”

You cross your arms and watch him roll his eyes, sweat making his hair stick to his forehead. He walks closer to you, a frown etched into his usually cheerful face. “If I need to work on something, you need to respect that.”

You scoff in disbelief. “Excuse me? And what about you respecting me? I canceled all my plans and I took the time to get ready so I could be with you. You’re the one at fault here, Hobi.”

Your fiancé rolls his eyes and yanks the jacket he had on off, then he turns and walks away. You glare at the back of his head and mutter, “You suck at keeping promises. I should’ve known.” That sets him off and he stalks back towards you. “Don’t you ever stop? Are you wanting to fight or something?” He growls angrily and you glare at him defiantly.

“You started it by breaking your promise and wasting my time.”

Before he starts yelling, he takes a deep breath and walks away again, throwing the jacket he isn’t using behind him angrily.

Except he didn’t consider the fact that you’re right behind him.

The jacket whips you in the face, and it probably wouldn’t have hurt except the zipper hit your eye and you yelp in pain.

Hoseok turns around at your cry and sees you clutching your right eye. “Shit. Babe, are you okay?” He immediately comes back and tries to take your face to look at your eye. But you pull away and glare at him with your one good seeing orb.

“Don’t touch me.”

He frowns at your tone but brings his hands back anyway. He knows he took it too far and he’s the one in the wrong, he just doesn’t know how to apologize for it right now.

You wince and cup your face again, then you head to the door, not wanting to be here any longer. Hobi follows you and gently takes your elbow. “y/n, wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you, it was an accident. And I’m sorry for what I said, that was a jerk move.”

You hesitate and listen to him ramble. “It was stupid of me to stay and make you wait and even stupider to blame you and take it out on you. I’m really sorry. Please don’t leave.”

You sigh and turn to see him still frowning guiltily at your now red eye. “Oh, I forgive you, you big idiot.” You chuckle and he gives you a small smile. He still feels like shit for hurting you.

“Can I help you with your eye?” He asks and you nod. Then he grabs his bags and leads you out of the room to find some ice, “We can get takeout tonight, then I’ll take you for dinner tomorrow when your eye is better.”

You look at him warily and he laughs, “I promise, I won’t let you down this time.”

He didn’t 😉

KIM NAMJOON:

Huhuhuuu cute

Namjoon drops his bag by the front door with a tired grunt. Today was long, and ridiculous. It seems like every little thing that could’ve gone wrong, did. All he wants to do is take a shower, eat some food, and go to sleep. He hears you humming in the kitchen and sighs again in relief before walking to where you are.

“I’m going to wash up.” He says blankly, taking you by surprise. You turn and smile brightly at him, “Hey, baby! You’re home! I’m making your favori-“ You cut yourself off when he just nods and walks away to the back. You frown, trying not to let it get to you. He must’ve had a bad day, you think as you finish up making dinner.

Namjoon comes out fifteen minutes later, his hair damp as he sits at the table and eats silently. You try to make conversation, but he just keeps blowing you off, so you stop trying. He finishes eating and immediately goes to get ready for bed. You do the dishes, in a sour mood yourself now, then you head to get ready as well. You see him lying on the bed and reading a book. When you come out from the bathroom, he’s still ignoring you. So, you climb in bed and try to tell him goodnight.

“I’m sorry if you had a bad day.” You say quietly, then you see him roll his eyes and continue reading. That does it. You reach over and try to take the book out of his hand so he’ll at least look at you. But when your fingers grip the book, he wrenches it away from you and a page of the book slices your finger. You hiss and bring your finger to your face, trying not to cry from how bad it stung.

“A-are you okay?” Namjoon looks at you worriedly, not meaning to hurt you when he pulled away. You just stay silent and glare at him before walking to get yourself a band-aid, giving him a taste of his own medicine. He sighs, knowing that he messed up big time.

When you come back and lay down, you turn your back to him and close your eyes. When you feel his arms on your waist you push them off roughly. Namjoon sighs again and whispers, “I’m sorry, honey. I had a horrible day, but that’s no excuse. I took it out on you when you did nothing wrong. Then I hurt you, because I was being stupid.”

You can hear the sadness in his voice, so you turn around and look at him blankly. “You’re a jerk.”

“I know.”

“I hate papercuts.”

“I know, babe. I’m sorry.”

You frown and nudge his shoulder, making him look at you, guilt filling his gaze. “As long as you promise not to behave like that again, I’ll forgive you.”

“I promise, love.”

“Ok.” You give him a small smile and he smiles back before grabbing your hand and giving your bandaged finger a kiss.

PARK JIMIN:

eyeyeyeyeyeyeuueuhelpme

Jimin saw you talking to Taehyung a lot tonight. You were at the boys’ dorm hanging out with them and Taehyung had a lot to talk to you about, catching up since you haven’t seen them in forever.

You never meant to ignore your boyfriend, you just wanted to hang out with the others since you haven’t seen them in so long. But Jimin, being the jealous boy he is, couldn’t stop himself from scowling at the two of you all night. It annoyed him further when Jungkook pointed out that he was looking a little grumpy.

Of course, he’s grumpy! His own girlfriend prefers his friends over him.

A little later in the night you realize that Jimin isn’t sitting on the couch anymore. You look around but don’t see him. After checking in the kitchen and bathrooms, you head to his bedroom.

You knock on the door and walk in when he mumbles a ‘come in’. He’s lying on his bed and scrolling through his phone. When he sees you, he just rolls his eyes and looks back at his phone.

“Chim? Are you okay?” You ask quietly as you close the door and walk over to his bed to stand next to it. He doesn’t respond, he just keeps watching his phone. You frown and reach over to take his phone, but he snatches it away and glares at you.

“So, you suddenly realized I exist, huh?” He snaps.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why do you care? I thought you’d be chatting it up with Taehyung right now.”

“What the hell is your problem?” You growl angrily, not appreciating the way he’s speaking to you. Jimin hesitates, realizing that maybe he’s being a little too dramatic, but his jealousy gets the best of him as he stands up and walks to the door, opening it for you to leave as he snaps.

“Just get out.”

You stare at him in annoyance, then you walk over and try to touch his arm to calm him down so you can figure out what’s going on. But Jimin flinches angrily and accidentally shoves you away from him. You stumble back and look at him in shock. Jimin finally processes what he just did, and his eyes widen.

“Y-y/n, I didn’t mean to-“

You shove past him and walk out of his room, heading straight to the front door. Jimin follows behind you quickly, the other members watch the two of you worriedly as you storm out.

Jimin follows you out onto the porch and takes your arm. You yank it away and glare at him. “What the hell is your problem, Jimin?”

He swallows the lump in his throat and looks at the ground. “I’m sorry. I never meant to push you. I was being stupid and selfish. I was jealous of how much time you were spending with Tae and not me, so I got mad. I really didn’t mean to push you though, I’m so sorry,”

You look at him a while longer, still extremely angry. “I wasn’t purposely ignoring you. You had no right to accuse me of that and then shove me, even if that last part was an accident.”

“I know.” He keeps looking at the ground. “I admit I was an idiot. A selfish idiot.”

You just watch him for another minute, seeing how genuinely upset and remorseful he is.

“I forgive you.” You mumble, making Jimin look up, his eyes brightening. “But that doesn’t mean I’m happy.” You add and he nods. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

KIM TAEHYUNG:

yes sir daddy, daddy sir mister 

You look at all the pretty dresses in the store windows happily, gripping your boyfriend’s hand as you two stroll down the sidewalk. A group of guys pass by, but you pay them no mind. Taehyung, however, notices them staring at your legs immediately. He glowers at them and they look away quickly, but the anger is already there.

“I told you that skirt was too short.” He mutters angrily and you look at him, “What?”

He huffs and looks behind him at the group that’s walking away now. “Those guys were checking you out right in front of me.”

You sigh and squeeze his hand. “Don’t worry, I only have eyes for you, baby. You know that.” He looks away and takes his hand out of yours, upsetting you at his sudden change in behavior. “Tae-“

“Let’s just go home.” He cuts you off.

You cross your arms and stop walking. “No, I don’t want to go home. Just because there was a group of stupid boys, doesn’t mean we have to leave.”

“I told you your skirt was too revealing!”

“That isn’t fair! It’s not too revealing, and I can decide what I want to wear!”

The argument heats up and a few old couples look at you as they pass by, irritating Taehyung even more. To be honest, he loves your style and he trusts you completely. It isn’t even about the skirt, it’s about how much he hates it when guys ogle girls in the streets, and his own girlfriend now at that!

But now he’s just being stubborn and fighting with you about the skirt because you said he was wrong. It’s stupid, and he knows it. But he is too annoyed to care. You glare at him defiantly and stomp your foot. “You’re being a jerk, and I did nothing wrong! It isn’t my fault men can’t keep their eyes to themselves!” Then you turn and walk away in a huff. Taehyung sighs internally and moves to follow you, his nerves still on edge and irritated at fighting with you.

That’s when you go to cross the street, so angry that you didn’t notice the light change, and you almost get hit by an oncoming car. But Taehyung reaches out and grabs your wrist, yanking you back to the sidewalk and shouting, “Be careful! You almost got hit!” His frustration and fear of you getting hurt made him grip your wrist too hard, making you wince in pain.

He notices and let’s go so fast it’s almost like you burned him. “Ah, sorry. I just didn’t want you to get hit. I-I’m sorry, I was too rough.” You hold your reddened wrist and sigh. “You don’t have to get so defensive, Tae.” You grumble and he nods. “I know, I just got annoyed and wanted the last word. I dragged on the argument for no good reason, and I’m sorry.”

You nod and give him a halfhearted smile. “I know you get mad when people look at girls inappropriately, and I’m sorry for being insensitive about that. I guess I got defensive too.” He shakes his head and moves to take your wrist gently, “Your outfit is perfectly fine and you look beautiful baby. I’ll try to keep my temper from now on. I’m so sorry about your wrist.” He looks at it sadly and you touch his cheek. “Hey, don’t worry. I know it was an accident. Thank you for not letting me get hit by a car.” You giggle and he chuckles, nodding his head and kissing you on the cheek.

He takes you into a convenience store to grab a pain relief patch and puts it on your wrist gently. Then he kisses your forehead sweetly and you continue with your date.

JEON JUNGKOOK:

pllsssss….. hug me :(

“Where were you?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes when he sees you crossing your arms and watching him the second he comes in the door. “Practice.”

“Until three in the morning, Jungkook?” You scoff in disbelief.

Jungkook drops his bag and moves past you, “Yeah, actually. Believe it or not, but I actually work.”

You stare at him in disbelief as he walks to the bedroom, not caring at all about what he’s saying. You follow him and glare at him as he changes into his sleep clothes. “I have a job, Jungkook. But I don’t stay out till three in the damn morning doing it. And then fail to inform you I’ll be late and leave you to worry.”

Jungkook sighs and tosses his dirty clothes into the laundry basket before glaring at you. “Teaching children the alphabet and how to color is hardly something to call a job.” He snaps, making your eyes water.

“You don’t have to be such an ass. Just because your job is more physically demanding doesn’t mean I don’t get tired. And that has nothing to do with not telling me you’ll be late and not answering your phone.” You snap back.

Your husband just moves past you to get something to eat before bed, but you aren’t done yet. You follow him and continue angrily. “Now you’re ignoring me? You’re in the wrong here, Jungkook. You didn’t tell me you’d be late, you made me worry, and you’re the one that started being mean first!”

Jungkook has had enough, so he turns around to rant about how annoying and nagging you are. “Just stop it! You’re always nagging me and-“ But he doesn’t know that you’re right behind him when he flings his arms out. One of his hands smacks you hard on the face and you flinch, grabbing your sore cheek as you stumble back and trying not to let your eyes water.

Jungkook’s eyes widen in shock when it clicks in his brain that he just slapped you. “Shit, baby. Fuck, I’m so sorry.” He reaches out to you, but you flinch away. Not because you’re afraid he’ll hurt you again, but because you’re still angry and don’t want him to touch you. It still breaks his heart.

Your watery eyes glare at him and you turn on your heel to go to the room. He follows you but you slam the door in his face, so he stands there, not knowing how to fix what he did. After a minute, he hears you crying and goes to open the door. It’s unlocked thankfully. So, he hurries in and sits next to you on the bed. You’re curled up by the headboard and looking away from him angrily.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. You know I would never hurt you on purpose, don’t you?” He asks sadly, wanting to hug you.

You stay silent for a minute, then nod stiffly. He sighs and reaches to take your chin and tilt your head to see your cheek. When he sees the little red mark, he beats himself up mentally even more.

You turn your glare back to him. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but that doesn’t change the mean things you said.”

Jungkook nods sadly, “I know. I don’t know how to show you how sorry I am…”

“Why were you being such a jerk?”

“I had a rough day, but that doesn’t excuse anything I said. We weren’t allowed to leave practice until we got it right. By the time that happened it was almost three. I came right home after. My phone died so I wasn’t able to text you.” You nod in understanding, but he continues. “You’re an amazing teacher, y/n. I don’t know why I said that about your job, I really didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry.”

You shrug, still feeling the raw hurt from his words. “I’m sorry you had a tough day.” You mumble, and he hugs you tightly. “I don’t deserve you, y/n. I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.”

“Well, you can start by cuddling me to sleep.”

“Deal.” 

=========================================

a/n: sorryy if there are any typos, im so tired ok goodnight. 

[hargrove-mayfields]

Harringrove April Day 16- Nostalgia

On just about every flat surface in their mansion, Steve’s mother had put out some fancy Tiffany light fixture.

Steve’s room was the only place in the whole house he got to have any day in the interior design, and his lamp, well it didn’t quite have a stained glass shade, or ornate detailing to fancy up the mansion, his happens to be an old nursery lamp from when he was six and still had a themed bedroom.

At the peak of his too cool for school teenager bullshit, he’d attempted to throw it out, sent it away to the curb with a bag of stuffed animals he claimed he didn’t need anymore, but the very same night he started having nightmares again, so he scrambled to get it back before the raccoons found it first.

That dusty old lamp had saved him from countless nights spent awake and terrified, and he wasn’t one to say he was ashamed of that.

Except, now Billy Hargrove, the pinnacle of badass, is in his room, and there it is, still plugged in on the nightstand.

Of all things too, it couldn’t have just been a generic race car lamp or something he could play off as not really being for kids, it had to be stupid Bambi.

There’s a story behind it, that when he was a toddler, his first venture out of Indiana was to go see his gramma over in Maryland, and, after one look at his big brown eyes and his fluffy brown hair, she immediately nicknamed him Bambi.

After that the name just sort of stuck with him, his parents using it when they wanted on his good side, to make up for forgetting his birthday, or as an apology for leaving him alone so long the babysitter left, so of course his mom thought it would be adorable if his bedroom was themed around it.

Somewhere in a dusty corner of the attic, he still had the curtains and the quilt and the wall hangings, and under his bed was a pillow embroidered with his name and a picture of the clumsy cartoon deer made by his gramma. And of course, there was the brightly shining lamp.

He would never admit that he kept them there for when he was at his most frightened, clutching the pillow to his chest during a nightmare, or wrapping the soft material of the tiny old quilt around his shoulders when he felt an imaginary pair of eyes watching him.

Because Steve had seen some shit, he felt that after witnessing a ten-foot tall faceless monster come through the ceiling and try to kill him, and having a herd of baby versions of that same monster charge at him with nothing but a baseball bat to protect himself and a group of defenseless children, he had earned the right to use a damn nursery lamp in his bedroom.

But, that ass-backwards swell of pride at still using his childhood comfort items at 19 years old is definitely crushed by the fact that, after being in his room for a grand total of five minutes, that’s immediately what Billy drifts to.

A drunken apology at a New Year’s party might have made up for the concussion and proved he was probably not going to beat his face in again, but it didn’t change the fact that he was in Steve’s bedroom with the edge of the printed lampshade pinched between his fingers, and a contemplative look on his face.

It was a little while after their truce was reached, that Billy just started showing up at the Harringtons’ door unannounced. Sometimes it was to borrow Steve’s first aid kit. Sometimes he’d steal some of his weed. Once he’d come over just to watch something on Steve’s TV. Whatever his reason, Steve had let him in every time.

In this particular instance, it had been Steve who had called Billy, because he had a math project and an essay due first thing tomorrow morning, and Nancy was too busy to help him.

At first he’d considered just not getting the work done, but he decided Billy would do. He was smart enough that the co-ed teacher in the math class they shared had begged him to switch to the advanced classes, so Steve figured his help wouldn’t be so bad.

But his desk where all of his school stuff is is upstairs in his bedroom, where he’s left out the dumb baby lamp, and of course that would be exactly what Billy goes straight for. Steve feels himself start to panic a little, unsure if he could trust Billy’s reaction, and convincing himself that Billy might beat his ass for being a fragile little fairy or something.

It never comes, Billy just sits down all casual on the bed next to Steve, pulling one of his legs up so he could cross it over his knee, and nods over at the lamp again. “Wish I still had something from when I was little.”

The weight of the entire universe is lifted from Steve’s chest, knowing that Billy isn’t going to tear his head off. He lets out a sharp breath he didn’t know he was holding in. “Yeah?”

Billy nods and looks down, fidgeting with the pendant he always wore around his neck. “My dad threw everything out. All I have is one little picture of my mom.”

Steve knew he lived with his step-mom, but had never even thought about what happened to Billy’s real mother. He realizes the pendant was probably a locket, the very one that holds the aforementioned picture, and asks “Can I see it?”

It looks like Billy has to think about it, as he keeps twisting the locket between his fingers, before he nods and opens it. Steve leans towards him, putting his hand up under it and holding it in his palm, straining to see the tiny, aged picture.

Even though he’s never seen this woman, it makes Steve incredibly sad, seeing her little face all worn out in that locket around her son's neck. He wonders if she was dead, or if maybe she’d lost custody for some reason, or if maybe she had just left, but whatever happened, when his eyes flicker back up to Billy’s face, the tears shining in his eyes and the way he avoids his gaze, he knows better than to ask.

Steve lets the locket fall and watches Billy snap it shut quickly, and he realizes he has no idea what the right thing to say is.

What he wants to say is that he’s sorry, for him losing his mother and having nothing but one yellowed and tear stained picture to remember her by, but that seems too much like prying, somehow not really appropriate.

Instead, he remembers what Billy said about his dad throwing his stuff out and says, “Your dad must be a real asshole, huh?”

Billy scoffs and blinks away the last of the tears in his eyes. “You’ve got no idea, Harrington.” There’s a long awkward pause, until Billy asks, “You know how I’m always coming over here with like, all kinds of shit wrong with me?”

Steve thinks he knows where this was going. “Sure.”

Chewing on the corner of his nail, Billy takes a moment to get his thoughts together, his eyes flitting nervously across the room, focusing on pretty much anything but Steve, mostly the picture frame behind him. “I lied. It’s not, like, fights or whatever I say. At least not with other kids.”

Steve himself was no stranger to conversations like these, he himself had to confess something of a similar calibre to Nancy, when they were still dating, because his father had come home from a business trip pissed off about something, and slapped him across the face just a little too hard. The sturdy silver ring that he wore on his middle finger had split the skin on Steve’s cheek, and he couldn’t come up with a good enough excuse to cover his tracks.

Admitting to it out loud was one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do, so he decides he won’t make Billy say it. Maybe they weren’t on the best of terms, only here to do homework or whatever, but if he was going to open up about this, he definitely wasn’t going to make him experience that same humiliation he had.

“Is it your dad? That does that to you?” Nancy hadn’t been kind enough to spare him, forcing him to tell her once that the scar he so proudly sported wasn’t actually from a fist fight with Tommy like he said, and he wouldn’t do the same to Billy.

In lieu of a response though, Billy sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth, his hands starting to shake ever so subtly, and Steve knows he’s got to keep pressing. “Do you need help? I can call the chief-“

“No.” Billy shakes his head and makes eye contact with Steve for the first time since he started talking. “Cops only make it worse.”

Steve could understand that, had tried once when he was about eight or so, with the assistance of one of the housekeepers, to call the police when his father twisted his arm so far behind his back his shoulder popped out of place, but they wouldn’t dare arrest a public figure like his father, especially not for a little corporal punishment. The first thing they’d asked was what Steve had done wrong, not why his father had felt it fitting to beat on his eight year old for a tiny mistake. He never asked for help again.

“Well is there anything I can do?” Despite their differences and the fact that he only called him here to cheat on his homework, he truly did want to help Billy. Something about repeatedly surviving horrific monster attacks made him a lot more protective of those around him, and now that they were over their dumb pissing contest, Billy was included in that too.

“Think you’ve done enough letting me into your mansion, unless that’s not good enough for your hero complex.” It was a pathetic jab, there was no bite behind his broken tone, and Steve would almost rather have him at his worst than see him so vulnerable and sad.

Steve tries to reason with him softly, “You know it’s not like that, Billy.”

“Do I?” Walls had been put up as Billy made his last ditch efforts to protect himself from being weak in front of Steve. “Cause where I’m sitting, it seems like you get off on charity cases like mine. You tryin to swoop in and save me, King Steve? Feed your ego so you can feel like the savior you were always meant to be?”

He was baiting him, trying to pick a fight so he’d push him away, Steve had seen it all before in himself and wouldn’t fall for it. “Listen. I just want to help you.”

Everything about Billy suddenly seemed to make a whole lot more sense. That whole part animal, tough guy thing was just an act, and Steve knew because he had done essentially the same thing.

Before Nancy Wheeler had taught him to be better, he and Billy really weren’t so different. He’d let high school bullshit bother him, beat up the nerds and fucked all the cheerleaders and mocked anyone lower than him on the social ladder like he was supposed to, but it always made him feel off.

In the end, it had been so easy to get him to the other side, to show him what to do instead, he supposed all he needed was a little push to help him actualize what he already believed.

And then it hits him, in that moment, that this was Billy’s push in the right direction. That he was Billy’s Nancy.

“I don’t expect you to tell me everything and I’m not doing this for me, just,” It became extremely important to him to not set Billy off, to say just the right thing to keep him on the right track. “my door is always open, Billy.”

At first, it seemed to have worked, Billy sat staring at the floor, his lip quivering as he mulled over Steve’s words, but, when he stood abruptly and snatched his leather jacket from where it was draped over the back of Steve’s desk chair, Steve knows he messed up.

“Where are you going?” He stands up fast enough to give himself a head rush while Billy shrugs his jacket back on and yanks the door open.

“Need a smoke.” That’s all he gets before the door slammed in his face, and he hears Billy's heavy boots stomping down the stairs and the sound of him slamming his front door.

He waits with bated breath and tears pricking the corners of his eyes for the sound of Billy’s car starting and tearing out of his driveway, but it never comes.

Still, he feels immensely guilty and selfish and stupid as all hell for not just biting his tongue. He should’ve just fought back, argued with him like was expecting him to instead of trying to be comforting like he was his fucking therapist or something.

Because this was Billy fucking Hargrove, stereotypical meat head bully. Why he even felt the need to help him, other than their similar upbringings and coping mechanisms, or the fact that Billy had obviously been reaching out, hoping for someone to care, was beyond him. Or maybe it really wasn’t, he knew exactly why, he just felt weak and stupid for trying, and especially so for failing.

Apparently he’d been so caught up in his little pity party that he missed the sound of the door opening back up, and didn’t notice Billy had come back until his bedroom door was open.

Steve was so relieved that Billy came back, that he hadn’t pushed him too far or fucked everything up, even if he reeked of too strong cigarettes, and growled at him when he came in, “Don’t we got fucking work to do, Harrington?”

They don’t end up finishing the essay. Steve was hopeless with numbers, and they were too busy goofing off, so the math project didn't get done very quickly. It was okay though, Billy wasn’t much help at all when it came to English anyways.

Steve walks him outside when he has to go, beating a curfew of midnight. He stops on the porch, immediately crossing his arms against the frigid cold of the night air. Billy stops too at his car, his fingers through the handle, and turns around, calling across the yard. “Hey Harrington?”

He hardly waits for Steve’s response, a quick “Yeah?” to tell him, “Thank you.”

There isn’t time for Steve to respond before Billy’s yanking open the door of his Camaro and backing out of the driveway, but he knows he’d still made astronomical progress tonight.

It makes him feel incredibly dumb, laying in his bed that night, illuminated by the warm light of that very same Bambi lamp and trying to put his thoughts of Billy to rest like he was some cheesy teenage girl, but he’s just happy to have found a friend, to have made a difference in somebody’s life, and he knows that on the other side of town, laying in own bed with his locket left open on the pillow beside him, Billy feels the same way.

[allsassnoclass]

Hazel! Can I submit ““i got you for secret santa so i got you this really expensive but sentimental gift that you’ve always wanted, hoping you’ll never find out it’s from me - and that i’ve been in love with you 1234567 years” for lashton??

as you wish my dear

Ficmas Day 2

Rating: teen and up

Read on AO3

Ashton knew he was screwed the moment he picked Luke’s name out of the hat for Secret Santa, but it doesn’t fully hit him until the night before the last day of school before break.  They’re going to exchange gifts once all of the students leave at the end of the day, and Ashton has to admit that he went a little overboard.

He’s supposed to wrap and bring one gift.  He has six.

“Hey, Calum,” he says once the other person picks up the phone.  “So.  I’m in a bit of a pickle.”

“Why?” Calum asks, voice tinny and almost overpowered by Michael’s very loud singing in the background.  He gasps.  “Ash, tell me you didn’t leave Luke’s present until right now.  There’s no way I can help you with less than 24 hours to go.”

“How do you know I have Luke?” Ashton frowns.  “Have you been snooping?”

“No, but I saw your face when you drew the name.”

Ashton sighs.  “Fuck, do you think he knows?”

“Well, he’d have to know that you’ve been in love with him since he started at the school, and we both know Luke is not self-aware enough for that.  You can’t drop hints with him, because he won’t pick them up.  Remember when we all went to eat and the waitress was tripping over herself to flirt with him?  He didn’t even notice.”

Ashton remembers that night well.  It hadn’t been the first time a stranger tried to chat up Luke, and just like every instance before Ashton had to tamp down his jealousy.  Luke is an attractive and appealing guy.  He can’t fault other people for noticing that too and shooting their shot.

“That doesn’t help my crisis.”

“Which is…?”

Ashton glances at the presents sitting on his floor with wrapping paper next to them.

“Can you come over?” he asks.

“You didn’t get him another dog, did you?” Calum asks dubiously.

“Of course not,” Ashton says.  “I’m not an idiot Calum.  Dogs aren’t surprise presents.  I just… still may have gone a bit overboard on this one.”

“Overboard how?”

“I have six presents and I need you to help me choose.”

Calum sighs.

“I’ll be there in five minutes, and I’m bringing Michael.”  He hangs up before Ashton can protest.  

Great.  Now instead of being subject to Calum’s quiet judgement, he’s going to have to deal with Michael laughing at him, too.

They find him sitting on the floor of his living room, wrapping paper tube in hand but no closer to figuring out what he’s doing.

“Hey,” Calum says, sitting down next to him.  Ashton grunts.  “Walk me through the presents.  Let’s see what we’re dealing with here.”

Michael flops down on the couch behind them.

“Well, I got him a cookbook, because I saw it at the store and know he wants to start cooking for himself more, plus it says they’re easy.  But cookbooks are so bleh, so I made a donation to the shelter he got Petunia from in his name, but I don’t want to show up and have him be the only person who doesn’t get to take something home with him at the end of the night, so then I started thinking about how he’s always late so I got him this personalized watch with his name and an engraving on the back, but I don’t want him to take it as something passive aggressive so I got him a framed artistic map of his hometown since I know he misses it, but then I thought that’s lame because he can get a map anywhere, so I called up his mom and there are these rings that you can get thumbprints engraved on so I worked with her and got one of those with her fingerprint because I know he misses her like crazy, but that’s way too much and I wasn’t sure if it would arrive on time so I got one of those books of affirmations and personalized a few for days when he feels bad.”

Calum gapes at him.  Michael pats him once on the head.

“I think you should just fuck him for Christmas.”

Ashton groans and buries his head in his hands.

“Shut up, Michael.  No one asked you.”

“I’m just saying!”

“Ashton,” Calum says slowly.  “We are teachers at a public school.  There was a $20 cap on the presents.  How much did you spend?”

“Um,” he says.  “If the cookbook was paperback it might have been less than $20.”

“Well,” Calum sighs, “at least you aren’t the economics teacher.”

“If you fuck him, it would be free.”

“Shut up, Michael!”

“Babe, stop antagonizing him.”

“But I’m right!”

Calum gives Michael a look that makes him sulk off to the kitchen, probably to eat all of Ashton’s ice cream.

“Okay,” Calum says.  “You can’t give him all of that in front of everyone.  He’ll definitely know you’re in love with him, and it’s not fair to everyone else getting smaller $20 gifts.  Wrap the cookbook and give him the rest later.”

Ashton grimaces.

“Luke deserves better than just a cookbook, though.  He’s…”

“He’s what?”

Ashton has known Luke for three years and is still no closer to figuring out how to describe him.  He’s an English teacher, yet all words fail when he thinks about the math teacher who’s classroom sits down the hall.  It makes him want to read more Shakespeare or Browning or EE Cummings to see if someone else can say it better than him.

Luke is a breath of fresh air when he’s been underground too long.  He’s flowers in bloom, meteors visible from Earth, and rain when the sun is still shining.  He’s incredibly grumpy in the mornings when he comes in to work, but always gives Ashton a smile.  He gives his students pop quizzes but doesn’t count them towards their grades, only uses them to see what concepts need clarifying.  He has his students complete logic puzzles for extra credit and brings snacks on Fridays.  He has stupid rhymes and songs to help people remember formulas and they actually work.  Ashton had never seen a group of students truly excited about math until Luke joined their staff.

“He deserves better than a stupid cookbook for his present.”

“Meet him later to give him the rest,” Calum says.  “Unless you want everyone else on staff to know you’re hopelessly in love with him, too?”

“You don’t,” Michael calls from the kitchen.  “If you think I’m bad, you have no idea what Sierra is capable of.  When she found out I like Calum, it was brutal.  Hey, do you have any chocolate sauce?”

“You were no help tonight.  You don’t deserve chocolate sauce,” he calls back.  Michael appears in the doorway with a bowl and spoon, distressed.

“I said you should fuck him.  If you need different advice, then do what Calum says.  He’s smart most of the time.”

“Aw, thanks,” Calum says.

“Most of the time,” Michael emphasizes, brandishing his spoon.  “You’re still stupid for liking the lesser science.”

“Please don’t start that again,” Ashton says.  “If you two start arguing about chemistry and physics I’m kicking you out.  I know it’s foreplay for you, and that makes it weird.”

“Well, Michael and I do have a lot of chemistry together.”

“Nice,” Michael says.  “We should use my lever to shift your center of mass.”

“I hate you both so much,” Ashton groans.

“You’d hate us less if you had a boyfriend of your own,” Michael says over his shoulder, already heading back to the kitchen.

“That’s not the point,” Ashton says.  “I’m not trying to get a boyfriend right now.  I just… I don’t know.  I want him to have nice things.”

Calum clasps his shoulder, giving him a small shake.

“You’re a nice thing, too.”

Ashton buries his head in his hands again.

“Hey.  He’ll love his cookbook, and if you give him the rest he’ll absolutely love that, too.”

Something crashes in the kitchen.

“I’m going to go check on him,” Calum says.  “Give Luke the cookbook.  Ask him to meet you later so you can give him the other presents.  I’ll be right back to help wrap them.”

Ashton nods miserably and unrolls the wrapping paper.

-/-

Ashton wakes up the next day with a headache already pressing against his skull.  Calum and Michael had stayed late the night before, helping wrap the presents and then poking at him until he agreed to play a few rounds of MarioKart with them.  Halfway through the first race he remembered that he still had papers to grade that he promised the students would be done before break, so he moved his grading to the living room and listened to Michael and Calum trash talk each other and the cheesy music of each course.  Nothing managed to fully distract him from the presents sitting in the corner, though, and even when he eventually went to bed he spent most of the night tossing and turning.

The kids are always squirly the day before a break, but the lack of sleep only makes his patience shorter.  The end of each class period brings a sigh of relief for everyone, and he relishes in the few minutes he gets where he can relax instead of teach as long as he doesn’t dwell on the impending gift exchange.

Not even seeing Luke this morning and having lunch with him had managed to ease some of the tension pressing against the base of his skull.  He can’t fully enjoy his company when he’s the source of his problem.

When the final bell rings, Ashton wishes he could rush out of the building with the students, but instead he puts his classroom back to rights, monitors the hall for a few minutes, then grabs his present and heads to the staff lounge.

“Hey,” Michael says, sliding up to him after he deposits his present on the middle table.  “How’s it going?”

“I’m shitting bricks,” Ashton says.  “And I slept like shit because you and Calum didn’t get out of my house until midnight.”

“Relax, dude.  It’s Luke.  What’s the worst that could happen?”

Ashton doesn’t say he could hate my present and then hate me or he might figure out that I’m hopelessly in love with him.  He shrugs.  Michael snorts, then promptly forgets about Ashton as soon as Calum walks in the door.  Luke walks in right behind him, so Ashton pretty much forgets about Michael, too, because Luke is wearing a red button up and black slacks and his hair is a big curly mess.  His math classes seem to be perpetually bursting with activity, and Ashton loves seeing the transition from grumpy and put-together to beaming and unkempt throughout the day.  Luke is the only person he knows who gains limitless energy from his students, always bouncing after the last class instead of exhausted by a full day of work.

Ashton doesn't have a chance to greet him before Principal Feldman walks in, promptly starting the gift exchange since "so many of us will be happy to go on break and there are a lot of us to get through."  He takes it upon himself to start passing out the presents.  Ashton joins along with everyone else "oooo-ing" and "ahhhh-ing" at each gift, but he's too distracted to try to help people guess who their particular Santa may be.

Michael gets a stapler and a gift card to an office supply store because he keeps misplacing his desk materials.  Calum gets a shirt with a chemistry pun from Anne in the office. Ashton ends up getting a small care package from Calum with some bath bombs, chapstick, and a scented candle because Calum says he needs to learn how to relax more.  Ashton is just happy it wasn't another mug with a book pun on it, because Calum likes sending him pictures of those whenever he runs across one but Ashton already has too many to fit in his cupboard.

Luke is one of the last people to open his gift.  He comments on the cute snowflake pattern on the wrapping paper then tears through it, flipping the book around to fully read the cover.

"It's a cookbook!" he enthuses.  "I need this.  Who knew I needed this?"  He looks around the room, lighting up once he locks eyes with Ashton.  "Ashton!  Is it you?"

"Yeah, that's from me," Ashton says.

"Thank you!" Luke beams.  Feldman quickly moves on to the next present and Luke opens the cookbook, pursuing the pages instead of paying attention.  By the time everyone has their present and starts to filter out of the lounge, Ashton has been doing breathing exercises to ensure he doesn't psych himself out.  Michael pats him on the back when he drags Calum out, which does less to encourage Ashton and more to ignite his nerves, but he's not about to let the other five presents he has go to waste.

"Hey, Luke," he calls.  Luke pauses in his tracks, stepping to the side to get out of the doorway and let the rest of their coworkers pass.  "Can you stop by my classroom?  There's another part of your present I need to give you."

"There's more?" Luke asks.  "Ash, the cookbook is already amazing, I don't need anything else."

"Don't you want to know what it is?" Ashton asks.

Curiosity wins out over any lingering politeness.  Luke eagerly follows Ashton out the door and through the halls to his classroom. It's tucked into a corner, which Ashton likes because it means he has a lot of windows, and he's been there for long enough that the walls are covered in posters, quotes, pictures, and some particularly striking student works.  Four boxes and an envelope sit wrapped on the desk in the same snowflake wrapping paper.

"Are all of those..."

"Yeah," Ashton says.  "I got a little carried away."

"Wow."

"Here."  Ashton hands him the envelope.  "Start here."

Luke tears open the flap as messily as he tore open the wrapping paper earlier, pulling out the donation receipt inside.

“This is the place I got Petunia,” he says.

“I know.”

“Thanks,” he says.  “I try to donate to them every year but… thank you.  They’ll be able to do some good with this.”

Ashton clears his throat.  “You’re welcome.  Here’s the next one.”

He unwraps the map next.

“I know you miss it,” Ashton says.  “There’s some star stickers in there, too, if you want to mark important places.”

Luke’s eyes glitter with memories as he looks over it.  He gasps and turns the frame towards Ashton.  “Here’s my house!  Right there.  And then over here was my school, and the movie theater…. Sorry.  You don’t want to listen to me go on about this.  What’s next?”

Ashton could listen to Luke tell him stories about his hometown all night, but he’s looking expectantly at him and there’s still three presents sitting on his desk.

He tosses him the watch next.  Luke fumbles when he catches it.  Ashton is extremely thankful that it’s packed in the box well and won’t break, especially when Luke shakes it.

He laughs when he sees what’s inside.

“I get it.  I won’t miss our lunch dates anymore.”

“Sure you won’t,” Ashton teases.  “There’s an inscription on it, too.”

Luke takes the watch out of the box and flips it over.

“‘Education is our passport to the future.’”

“‘Education is our passport to the future,” Ashton recites, “for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.’ Malcolm X.”

“Appropriate,” Luke says.  “Thanks.”

He puts the watch on, struggling a little with the clasp.  Ashton reaches out and helps, careful not to make it too tight or too loose.  Luke’s wrist is soft beneath his fingers, a patch of smooth pale skin covering his pulse.  When he finishes, neither of them move away.

“It’s wonderful, Ashton.  Thank you,” Luke says.  “I’m going to wear it every day.”

“It suits you.”

Luke gives him a smile that sends Ashton reaching for another present before he does something uncalled for like lean forward and try to kiss him.

“This one’s for bad days.  It’s not much, but I wanted you to have reminders of how amazing you are.”

Luke rips off the paper and softens like butter once he starts flipping through the book of affirmations.

“A lot of them are generic, but there are a few personalized ones in there, and all of them are true anyway.”

“Ashton, this is too much,” Luke says.  “This is insane.  You went above and beyond Secret Santa.”

“Well.”  Ashton scratches the back of his neck, the feeling of a blush prickling under his skin.  “I can’t exactly return them since they’re personalized.  I kept seeing things that made me think of you.”

“Thank you.  I don’t--” he laughs-- “I don’t know what to say.”

“Save it until you get your last gift.  Then you can judge them all.”

The last box is the smallest, but it’s heavy with a phantom weight.  Ashton went above and beyond for this one, going so far as to contact Liz when he’s only talked to her a few times before, and Luke is either going to think it’s sweet or creepy.

“It’s small,” Luke says, testing the feel of the box in his hands.  He glances up at Ashton before taking off the paper, then again when he sees that the box is a ring box.  Ashton holds his breath while he opens it, wanting to spare himself from seeing Luke’s reaction but not able to look away.

The silver ring glints in the light, a thick band pinched between Luke’s fingers so he can look at it closer.

“What…” he trails off.

“I talked to your mum,” Ashton says.  “The engraving on the outside is her fingerprint.  I know you miss her, and this way you can have a piece of her with you all the time.

“I can’t accept this,” Luke says.  “It’s too much.”

He tries to hand it to Ashton, but he closes Luke’s hand around the ring and pushes it back towards his chest.

“It’s personalized,” he says.  “It doesn’t mean anything to me, so you need to keep it.”

Luke briefly looks down at the ring again.  When he meets Ashton’s gaze, his eyes are glistening.

“You’re going to make me cry,” he laughs.  “Sorry.  Thank you.  So Much.”

He reaches for him, and Ashton’s thankful that Luke seems to fit perfectly in his arms.

“I can’t believe you got all this for a stupid Secret Santa,” he sniffs when he pulls away.

“You deserve it,” Ashton says earnestly.  “I kept seeing things I knew you would appreciate.  Guess I got a bit carried away.”

“A bit,” Luke teases.  Ashton smiles.  Luke’s teasing is a different kind, always giving the impression that it’s somehow an inside joke between them instead of Luke laughing at him.

“I have something for you, too,” Luke says.  “I know I wasn’t supposed to, but if you got me so much I feel better giving you this one thing.”

“Oh?”

Luke reaches into his messenger bag and pulls out a book.  Ashton can tell what it is even before Luke hands it to him.

“Leaves of Grass,” he says, running his hand over the vines and leaves adorning the hard cover behind the gold leaf of the title.

“You said you wanted another copy since your old one is full of annotations.”

“You didn’t have to do this,” he says, tracing the swirling script of Walt Whitman’s name.

“Okay, Mr. I-got-a-billion-presents-for-my-Secret-Santa.  I wanted to give you something nice.”

It’s a thought Ashton has had thousands of times during his own gift-buying process, and that’s what compels him to finally ask “Do you want to go on a date with me?  We could go to dinner or a movie, maybe ice skating or something more festive?”

“I thought you’d never ask!”

Ashton grins, smile threatening to split his face in two.

“Maybe not ice skating, though,” Luke says.  “I’m all legs and no coordination.”

“Dinner, then,” Ashton says.  “Do you like Italian?  I could pick you up next week.”

“I love Italian, and getting picked up.”

“Good,” Ashton says.  “Great!”

“Great!”

Ashton knows his smile is verging on dopey, but it’s okay because Luke has the same stupid-happy look on his face.  Luke’s phone rings and shatters the moment, but Ashton can’t even be that upset when Luke takes a few steps away to answer, glancing back with immense fondness and answering the person on the other line with vague and distracted noises.

“I’m so sorry,” Luke says when he hangs up.  “I have to go.  I promised Sierra I’d help her with some last-minute classroom things.”

“That’s okay,” Ashton says.  “I’ll call you.”

“Okay,” Luke smiles.  “Please do.  I mean--yeah.  I’d like that.’

“I will,” Ashton says.  Then, because someone has to be responsible and get Luke out the door instead of locked in a staring contest, he stacks Luke’s gifts and passes them off to him.

“Okay.  I’ll see you later!  On our date!”

“See you, Luke!”

Luke stumbles on his way out the door, too distracted trying to look back at Ashton.  He’s right: he really is all legs and no coordination.

Watching him leave with his new book in hand, Ashton thinks that he got the best gift of all this year.

[halothenthehorns]

All in the Family

Chapter 132: The Lost Prophecy

The circular office was strewn with bits of broken odds and ends like glittering tears embedded in the carpet, Fawkes was watching them all steadily from the ashes and made a silly little squeaking noise from his baby beak, and the portraits were calling and yelling at them in surprise when reality finally settled back.

Regulus shook his head slowly like he was still trying to get water out of his ears rather than that noise. He couldn't believe it had come from Sirius of all people. It was the most humanizing moment he'd ever seen in his life from his big brother, no longer the confident adult akin to dad. Just a scared teenager who had no idea how to deal with all of this like him.

He still didn't particularly like Potter, he seemed as arrogant as Evans always said, but at least acknowledged it as a good thing he'd been replaced. He certainly hadn't known what to do to help his brother. He'd thought Sirius was helping himself by keeping his emotions at a distance, and he'd obviously been wrong about that.

Sitting up slowly and having to dig a bit of something from out of his fingers from the wreck of this office, he took in the rest of this place with even more unease. If someone had broken in to steal something of worth in the Headmaster's absence, they hadn't done a good job of it as the Sword of Gryffindor was still visible in its case next to the Hat, and the Pensieve was still in its cupboard, as Longbottom proved when he cracked it open and bathed them all in blue light. Clearly valuables hadn't been the goal then, but why just upend all of the headmaster's trinkets? It certainly hadn't been them to do it, nobody had landed close enough to be the source.

The girls opened a door and came out of Dumbledore's adjoining room. A grand bed with plum sheets looked rumpled from one of their landing, Evans was rubbing her head from whatever she'd hit in there.

"Can you imagine how much knowledge must be in that thing," Peter surprised him by saying right beside him, hand outstretched. He was looking from the Pensieve and back with a teasing smile, but Regulus had no desire to stick his head in that. He took the offer reluctantly, surprised he stayed on his feet for as shaky as he felt. "This whole room even, wonder if he's working on another use for dragon's blood somewhere."

Regulus couldn't think of anything to say to that, biting down hard on his cheek as he tried to figure out what to do now. He did want to talk to Sirius, but the image of his big brother in his head had been shattered as much as these items, what was he supposed to say?

"He'll be alright, honestly," Peter told him gently. "Prongs will keep him in order, he just needed to, you know, be serious for a moment," he smirked at his own joke.

Regulus gave a surprised smile, and Sirius full-blown laughed. It wasn't a small office after all.

"Who else would I be Wormy?" He shot back, still slouching comfortably against the door like he hadn't tried to leave, Potter beside him rolling his eyes and audibly grumbling at Peter encouraging that stupidity.

Lupin was failing to hide a smile at the exchange as he grabbed the book from Dumbledore's desk. "The Lost Prophecy," he read with such surprise he actually dropped the book again, making a crunch as it smashed something into even more pieces.

The room stayed frozen for several long moments before Lupin shook himself and grabbed the book back quickly with an uneasy look at Potter, who had frozen up as if another death had been announced all over again. Sirius moved instantly, rubbing at his arm and muttering something for their ears alone. He relaxed, just a touch, and jerked his head away from the book, glaring out the window with very forced obvious disinterest.

"What, no bets on how Harry magically managed to come across this thing again?" Sirius offered weakly, but when his best mate didn't react, Sirius just gave Lupin a weary look of preparation. "Go on then Moony, let's get it over with. I'm still more worried about Harry than that stupid thing anyways."

Lupin didn't seem to agree, but he took a breath and started.

Harry was in pain. The kind of pain nobody would ever ask for, the loss of his only connection to his parents he'd ever known, or ever would again apparently. Regulus didn't know why Lupin was reading this, as if to spotlight how he once again was absent in Harry's life when needed. He kept going though, as the explanation came readily that it was Harry who had destroyed all this stuff in a rage to Dumbledore. Lupin just kept going though, his tone apologetic and full of sorrow as he kept watching his two mates, but there was something in there Regulus didn't understand, he just didn't know the guy well enough.

Then he looked at Peter and saw how he was studying Lupin and alternately eyeing the surrounding office, and thought he may be able to guess. Dumbledore had let a werewolf into this school when many a headmaster wouldn't dare, and Lupin had been big on defending the Headmaster back when all this had started. That had waned out a bit with each passing book, now he may in fact be doing this as an act of contrition.

The Boy Who Lived wasn't getting much comfort from the old man either, the explanation now coming in droves about his own hand in this horrible scheme of Occlumency and secrets put in him the desire to walk out of this school and never return, it was a wonder Sirius wasn't following in his godson's footsteps and destroying everything in sight.

Potter was the one crying now though, his arm tight around Sirius who wouldn't dare move away as his best mate seemed to have all the energy drained out of him to never return for every dirty crime listed. That it was Kreacher's doing, and the wise leader of the Order told Sirius only had himself to blame for it.

Regulus wanted to be sick at the idea. He wanted to scream like Sirius had and hope that made him feel better but knew it wouldn't. If he could plug up his ears and forget this one thing he knew he would in a heartbeat, that it was his beloved house-elf to be the death of his brother. Sirius looked infuriated beyond belief, it was hard to believe he'd ever hide any emotion again as he bellowed at the top of his lungs for Kreacher to be here right now, but no such summons was acknowledged for the first time in his life.

"Sirius, that's not helping," Regulus pleaded. "You can't just, he didn't mean-"

"Don't you dare Regulus!" Sirius snapped. He didn't take one step away from Potter as he turned all that fury on him now. "He meant to do exactly what happened! Injuring Buckbeak, trying to get Harry killed because of me! He's a worthless piece of shit just like your parents always wanted!"

Regulus winced at every blow, especially the 'your.' Did he already consider himself so unlike him? "Just listen, please," he didn't have an attic to hide away from his brother shouting. If he stopped arguing and pretended he didn't care like Sirius had then maybe he might do something worse than just scream. He'd always learned from his brother's mistakes, and he didn't want to pretend this wasn't horrible to him. To his complete surprise, Sirius really looked at him for a moment, then Peter, and closed his mouth.

The expression was still terrifying, no one could glower like a Black, but Regulus deliriously whispered, "he doesn't know better Sirius! You hate him, I know that, but he's got good in him, just like everybody! Haven't you wondered why he wasn't at home, why the house-elves aren't here at Hogwarts! You can't just want him dead because he's like our parents anymore than-"

He stopped as a soul deep cold whispered in his ear maybe Sirius had changed his mind and didn't care if he died anymore.

"I'm not asking you to like him," he finished in a miserable whisper. "Just, don't, hate him without giving him a chance to try."

Sirius slowly dropped the glare and kept watching him. His eyes flickered around the destroyed office and to his three friends then back to him and Regulus counted silently in his head all the different ways Sirius could kill him in this place just to be rid of his commentary.

His brother slowly eased the tension out of him though, and went back to leaning against his best mate without taking his eyes off of him. His voice was rough, but he sounded like he was actually trying to joke, "am I allowed to hate anyone in this future without that being thrown in my face?"

"Voldemort," Potter said at once with his own glare still held upon the world beyond.

"Bellatrix," Longbottom and Alice spoke at once, a word beyond redemption needed for her.

"Umbridge," Peter and Lupin spoke together with looks of distaste.

"Those Dursleys," Evans finished quietly but calmly.

"I accept that," Sirius finally forced a grin. He didn't really look like he meant it, but the fact that he stopped at all to even hear Regulus out meant the world to him right now, he wasn't going to keep pushing. Kreacher could be better if he just had some other influence, he just knew it! Not everything with their name on it had to end in ruins, surely.

Lupin finally kept going and he watched Evans pace in stark contrast, clearly furious her son was trying to futilely blame all this on Severus when Dumbledore offered explanation for where he'd been, but nobody needed to tell her how flimsy it felt. That Snape had really spent the whole night just wandering around the Forbidden Forest, and hadn't come across the centaurs and Grawp himself to figure all this out, he was more accomplished than that and surely should have been able to join the Order rather than conveniently being left out of the whole instance and not forced to pick a side. It seemed cruel nobody around here was getting the answers they so desperately wanted while Dumbledore explained Harry's life in painful detail to him.

The Prophecy that had set Voldemort after the Potters was issued by one now very familiar Divination teacher to them all.

"It would be her!" Sirius said with such ferocity the woman should have been ducking for cover no matter when she was now. "Bloody her that ruined my life the first time, now we're at round two!"

"I know Padfoot," James agreed patiently, "we'll lock her in a closet for the rest of her life when this is over so she can't be making any more of them, but please-" his voice broke at the end, and Sirius needed no further prompting to keep his mouth shut, a feat only James Potter had ever accomplished. Sirius knew he'd go mad without help if he had to wait any longer to hear this.

James felt like his ears were still ringing long after Remus had stopped reading that prophecy. This one was somehow even more vague than the one that had apparently been Sirius's doom, the only factor that related it to Harry was his birthday, but nothing at all for him to work with, fix some way out of this except possibly being a little choosy when they had their firstborn if that even worked. For all he knew when the prophecy was spoken again it would just change to that month. If he'd had any hope left clinging to his and Lily's son it was gone now, he couldn't condemn a child to this future that had his name in that Hall of Prophecy with no foreseeable way out of it for him.

There was nothing else to do. He couldn't not defy Voldemort, he couldn't stop any of that.

Sirius didn't have to imagine what Harry looked like sitting in this office, his future in ruins, because he was seeing it live. He'd never seen James look so defeated, not about any problem in the world. It had been him to come up with the animagus plan, his brilliant idea to keep Remus and Peter around when Sirius hadn't even originally wanted anything to do with them. His persistent optimism Evans would say yes any day only rivaled his absolute assurances there was more laughter to be had around the next corner if they just followed him.

He would not just sit here and let the fight drain out of James.

"Hey Prongs, I've got a secret," Sirius said at the top of his lungs. "We figured out Voldemort's weapon before him!"

James tried to smile for him, but it didn't feel real, Dumbledore had known this in its entirety this whole time and it hadn't helped Harry a lick, what good was he?

He saw a flash of red out of the corner of his eye, and he chanced a glance up in confusion what Fawkes would have swooped over here for, before his heart stuttered in surprise to see Evans staring down at him, hands on her hips. He couldn't guess at the look on her face, she'd never looked at him so directly with anything other than contempt.

"So, this thrice defined bit," she said airily, "you think it was three times each, or I did it twice more than you? I personally hope it's not something as silly a technicality as not joining Death Eaters, it should be something much more direct like actually hitting him with a curse or two."

Ironically, before, it was like he was trying to watch her without his glasses on, blurry and only the color easy to focus on. She'd always been such a constant fiery presence in his life. Now he really just sat here and looked at her, that this was like a new language to him, just seeing her speak as a normal girl.

"I'll take that as a challenge," he told her casually.

"That's exactly what I was hoping you'd say," she nodded, already turning back away. "Wouldn't be any fun if you just gave up."

Sirius now looked like the one who was dumbstruck as she walked away, but James could only shrug without answer and smile.

Remus kept going gently, some ingrained part of him still hoping Dumbledore would have another answer than this obliqueness, and finally his wish seemed to come true as the headmaster magically gifted them with the smallest ray of hope.

"What does he mean it might not have been Harry? That one we saw at the Ministry, it had Harry's name on it," stringing words together seemed to be paining Prongs greatly, but he latched heavily onto this.

"There was that odd question mark on it though," Peter corrected. "The rest all makes sense now, those were Dumbledore's and Trelawney's initials, but this must mean someone didn't put that in there until after-"

He stopped with a wince, and they didn't need him to finish anyways.

It still didn't feel like much of an answer, especially with the news that Neville could have been the other child!

Alice turned gray and Frank let out such a yelp it was as if he'd dodged his own deadly curse.

Lily instantly began hugging her friend, she wanted to do the same to Frank but he was already moving. He walked almost calmly to Dumbledore's desk, not even looking twice at Lupin or the book until he found a quill to load up with ink and a bit of parchment, then offered his hand that only just slightly trembled if one were watching for it. "May I?"

Lupin wordlessly passed it along and they watched as he copied down the prophecy and stuck it very purposefully in his pocket before handing the book back, then going over and taking his girlfriend's hand. It didn't matter the words now felt seared into their brains, he was now determined every chance they got he'd look at them every day until he found some way to break out of this and stop any Dark Lord from ever darkening their lives again.

"Is that it then?" Alice asked into the ever growing silence.

"No," Lupin whispered, still holding the book and watching Sirius and Potter. "Just, not sure how much more of this I can take."

"That's okay Moony," Sirius still managed a grin, now of all times. "Voldemort's been tormenting people before and after these two boys, but now Harry's given us a way to fight back. That power the Dark Lord knows not, maybe it's his self-destruct button!"

Potter laughed, even Lupin and Peter managed quiet snickers for the idiot.

The two would-be mothers watched him with something close to disdain for trying to make light of this, like they'd be slapping him all the way out of Hogwarts grounds if they could, but there was something in watching the Marauders now holding them back from retaliating. Frank felt it too in the way Black spoke, this wasn't really a joke to him as he played off, he'd do whatever he had to protect his godson again while keeping their focus on how to keep going rather than just dwelling on these awful moments.

Regulus recognized the same, but he wasn't so sure he could live with the outcome. He already feared going back to the world where his parents would hate him, what would happen if then the world just took his only family left away.

Harry was living through the same, as Dumbledore finally ran out of explanations for now and his thoughts returned to his lost godfather. He couldn't imagine how to get through it. So Regulus finally said the only thing he could think of to him. "I don't want you to die."

Sirius flashed him that smile he'd missed so much. "Lookie there, we can agree on two things."

[libralita]

Fate: The Winx Saga Unedited Ramble

Alright so I finished the first season of Fate: The Winx Saga and it was pretty fucking dreadful if I’m being honest. Let’s get into it.

First, let’s talk about the production quality because it was lacking in some weird areas. The audio mixing was surprisingly bad in a few places. Most notability when characters were talking over the phone. Every time Bloom speaks to her parents over the phone the voices on the other end are so loud. And most of the time when a character is talking to someone over the phone, their voice over comes in a bit softer with a filter to make it sound poorer quality. The audio was crisp and loud. There was one funny scene where Bloom is on the phone with her parents and she’s outside and there’s a bunch of background noise and her parents are in a quiet house. When it cuts to Bloom’s parents with Bloom on the phone you can’t hear the background noise but when you cut to her you can hear the general outdoor sounds in everything. Also whenever pop songs could come they were so loud. I would always have to turn down my volume because they would be louder than the normal speaking voice. Now for the sets. They were fine? I guess. Generic castle. Generic house. Generic forest. Fine. The costumes were uh…really awful. Mostly because you have the cartoon to compare it to where you had fashion designers design the outfits and you could tell, all the girls were so fashionable. A lot of the outfits were crimes. Terra’s and Stella’s were especially god awful.

And now, I guess I’ll go through the episodes and point out the problems as I see them. Episode one, I have a lot to say because the problems of the show become evident very quickly. So, first the dialogue. The original show had lame slang, especially with Musa, but my god some of this shit was painful. The first instance is when Bloom accuses Sky of mansplaining, so first of all it’s really great to see my childhood icon being sexist. Great. I love it. Second, she isn’t even using the term correct because by definition it is a man must explain to a woman a concept that she already knows in a rude way. Bloom states before this that she doesn’t know what a Specialist is so it’s not something she already knows. The only line that got a snort out of me is when Bloom says “Gryffindor. Explains the judgement.” Now the roommate situation. They totally moved Terra and Aisha because they wanted more drama. Terra is a ball of anxiety and wants to be friends with Musa, Musa’s an empath and can’t deal. Bloom is naturally gifted and a bit of an…well the show wants us to think she’s a free spirt and a rebel but she’s an idiot. Aisha is smart but has to work for ever bit of magic she gets. (despite that one line where she saws she flooded her school because of a math test but whatever) Another thing is that they say guns don’t work on the Burned Ones but if swords do then guns do. It’s stupid.

A great theme of this show is that everyone needs to calm down. As someone who’s lived in a suite like with this with four/five other girls, you’re not going to be best friends with your roommates the first day. Calm down Terra. Back to bad lines. Speaking of calming down, Bloom’s mom takes away her door (Sidenote: Whoever wrote “Don’t you feminist with me. This basic bitch’ll break out her bullhorn and her dissertation and take your ass to school.” Needs a good slap) and so Bloom is so enraged by this that she…nearly kills her parents by burning the house down. Fucking brilliant. That is the thing that enrages her. That. Fucking moronic. Also Bloom’s parents are on the floor but there’s a clear pathway that they can just walk through that Bloom walks through. This could have been solved if you had Bloom walk through the flames because fire fairy Speaking of people needing to calm down Terra is just absolutely insufferable. Riven calls her fat and she her response is to choke him and when he calls her out on this she smiles at him saying “nice to see you again” or something. Fuck off Terra. Attempted murder not acceptable when someone insults you.

Alright, now to talk about Stella (and yes, we’re still on Episode 1) while I think Bloom and Flora were done the dirtiest, they massacred my girl. While I don’t think Stella is the most complex character, I discovered while watching this that I really like her in the original. I especially love the episode she gets her Enchantix and the episode she saves her father from Valtore’s spell. Both episodes are so beautiful and her character shines. She’s a bitch in this show. It explains why and I actually do feel bad for this Stella but my god, my Stella would never. Which might as well be the title of this show, Fate: The Winx Would Never Saga.

Few final problems for the first episode: First they call Bloom a changeling and that’s not what changeling’s are and it’s very distracting. Find a different word. Second, Bloom’s house does not look Californian and probably isn’t. Also if Bloom didn’t want to lose Stella’s ring, then she should have worn it on her fucking finger. Now onto episode 2.

So, another problem with this show is Beatrix, while she’s one of the most interesting characters on the show, the fact she barely interacts with the girls is stupid. They should have just put her and Bloom in the same room together. Then Beatrix could interact with all the girls. Problem solved. But no. However, I actually kind of dig Beatrix’s relationship with Riven, I remember liking it in the original as well when it was with Darcy. Maybe I just like evil couples. Oh and magic has changed. So now there’s five elements Water, Earth, Fire, Air, and Mind. And you use emotions. And seeing Stella tell Bloom to think of negative emotions hurts my soul because I remember the episode where the girls go to Cloud Tower in season 2 and STELLA WOULD NEVER. Onto episode 3 and 4.

Okay so it’s revealed that Bloom was born in 2004 so that means these girls are 16, 17 in Stella’s case. To which I say bullshit. Now, onto Queen Luna. I don’t think she had any lines in the original series, however I will say QUEEN LUNA WOULD NEVER. I hate that Stella has a shit relationship with her mom. I hate that Queen Luna is queen of Solaria. I hate that she’s the Queen of Light despite her name being Luna because she should the Queen of the Moon because that’s how it worked in the original but no. It’s dumb and I hate it. Though, I will say that her treatment of Stella did make my heart hurt. New appreciation for this imposter Stella. One other thing is that Beatrix’s story is the most interesting. Aster Del was cool.

Episode 5 is when I realized that there were only 6 episodes of this series instead of 8 so…this is the penultimate episode and where shit gets real bad. I don’t like seeing Musa having sex, I think I was on my phone when Stella was having sex but seeing Musa with her bra just made my childhood weep a little. Also, how the fuck did Musa not know Stella was there? Also, I kind of like the scene were Stella opens up to Musa but I would have liked to see Musa say “I’m an empath, dummy, I know these girls aren’t judging you.” Speaking of stupid, Bloom. While Farah not telling you the truth about stuff was dumb, you breaking Beatrix out is massively moronic. And then the show decides to make my childhood weep again by having Bloom drug Sky. Thanks sho w, seeing this happen to my childhood OTPs is fucking great. And you know what? I try to hate this show but then it has a soldier facetiming Marco saying that the Batallion is dead and that she has a broken leg. Then she starts running away from the Burned Ones while hobbling with her “broken” leg and the camera stays on her. It’s…it’s a special show.

The show briefly mentions magical convergence and don’t fucking dare. And then…the characters brains magically go bye-bye. First Bloom is a ding dong for leaving the drugged Sky face down. Then Terra, Musa, and Stella are absolute ding dongs for giving Bloom back the key to break Beatrix out. At first I thought they were fine with allowing Beatrix to murder Dane and then Stella just fucking pushes her into the trap and it made it worse. You don’t fucking know that won’t kill her, you ding dongs.

Onto the finale. Aisha gets shit for being the only one who isn’t a ding dong. “Hope the brownie points will keep you company when you have no friends.” My soul. Bloom becomes really fucking confusing because she doesn’t trust Farah or the other staff but then she just randomly trusts Rosalind. And then she points this out that it’s weird that Rosalind wants her to trust her. And then Bloom goes to save her friends. Funny moment: Stella loses signal, she clearly needs to switch over to the plan that one soldier had where she could face time in the middle of a fucking forest with perfect quality. Then back to Bloom where she confronts Farah and says “What if Rosalind isn’t crazy? What if she had a reason to lie?” And she’s just…an idiot because she doesn’t see how that logic can be thrown right back at her with Farah.

Terra continues to be an ass to Musa. Like she just demands that Musa take away his pain and I understand the Musa needs to open up and get past her baggage. However, Terra does it in such a bitchy way that I would have probably slapped her. Also the show pretends that Terra was helping Sam when she did nothing but hold his hand while he writhed in pain. Also, also you clearly have sedatives in this world, fucking use them.

So Saul “killed” Andreas which is stupid on two fronts. Number one, Saul says to at least Sky that he died in a battle but no one ever questions which one. You’d think they’d find his body on the battle field. Number two where the fuck did Andreas’ body go? Did Saul not care? Fucking stupid. Also Andreas raised Beatrix. Interesting. A little…Mortal Instruments but I’ll allow it. Cool reveal.

Then…the things. Uh, while I’m glad that this show about fairies actually has fucking wings for one scene and they’re pretty cool looking with the fire and almost scale like. However…there’s no magical costume which is bullshit.

Finally, Farah’s neck is snapped and that just kind of the final blow to my childhood. So…overall. This was pretty shit as both an adaptation and just as a story. There were a lot of plotholes and stupid things.

[jalapeno-princess]

Right By My Side

Bodyguard Jackson X Actress Reader

Word Count: 2.4k 

Summary: After tip toeing around each others feelings for months, you and your body guard Jackson end up confessing your love for each other after an incident that causes Jackson to lose his patience.

A/n: Here you go anon! I hope you enjoy it! 

“Y/n! Look over here!”

“Give us a smile y/n!”

“Come on y/n, don’t be such a bitch. You celebrities think you’re better than all of us. You’re nothing but a pretty face—hey man what the fuck?”

From the time you were a little girl, you’ve dreamt of being a movie star. The idea of starring in movies and moving to Hollywood excited you. You begged your parents to put you in acting classes and after months of doing everything and anything they asked of you, the day came where you began working one on one with acting coaches. 

From sun up to sun down, you memorized lines, acted in front of mirrors, recited scripts to yourself and anyone you were surrounded by. When your parents felt like you were old enough, they allowed you to start auditioning for roles in your hometown. There was a point where you were auditioning for five roles a week but you were never getting any calls back. 

You soon grew discouraged and you felt like there was no hope for you. In all honesty, you wanted to give up. There were hundreds and thousands of girls who held the same dream as you, so you didn’t think there was any hope of making your dreams come true. That was until one day, you got an email from a casting director telling you that you got the job. 

To say you were excited was an understatement and although it was just a small part in a movie, it helped you learn the tricks and trade of the acting business and helped you get your foot in the door for other acting opportunities. From that day on, you’ve been booking roles left and right to the point where your schedule was packed. 

You were one of the most talented and highly praised actresses of your generation. The more acting roles you accepted, the more popular you became. Unfortunately, with the fame and fortune came paparazzi and unwanted publicity. At first, you didn’t think you were all that famous to have people following you around asking you questions while shoving cameras and microphones in your face. It was all too much for you to handle and that’s when your manager told you to hire a bodyguard. 

Both you and your manager interviewed dozens of men who were interested in sacrificing their life in order to protect you. For hours, you’ve listened to the potential applicants talk about their lives and why they felt they were right for the position. However, nobody was sticking out to you and you were ready to hire anybody at that point. Just as you were about to call it a day, the most handsomest man you’ve ever laid your eyes on came through the door and just about took your breath away. 

He had dark brown hair, a defined face with soft features, the prettiest brown eyes and a breathtaking smile. He was also extremely well built; his broad shoulders and his thick thighs made it known that he probably worked out at least twice a day. Your manager motioned for him to introduce himself and every word that felt from his lips went through one ear and out the other. 

You found yourself staring at him during the entire interview process and didn’t care that he probably caught you practically drooling over him. If he wasn’t there for a job interview and you were to see him on the street, you would’ve thought he was a celebrity. Your manager thanked him for his time and let him know that your staff would get back to him as soon as possible. Right as he was about to walk out the door, you spoke up for the first time since he entered the room and sat down. 

“You’re hired.” 

You knew it was stupid of you to hire someone based on his looks, but there was something about him that intrigued you and you found yourself wanting to learn more about him. The cheeky smile that he sent your way sent chills down your spine but the kiss that was placed on the back of your hand caused your mind to go in to a frenzy. 

“I’ll take good care of you. I promise.” 

That was almost a year ago and Jackson never failed to keep his promise. Wherever you went, he followed no matter where or what time it was. His main priority was you and your safety. 

One time, you told him you wanted to go on a target run at three in the morning and he was at your house just a few minutes later. As much as you wanted to do things on your own without needing security, you knew Jackson was very anal about protecting you. The two of you went grocery shopping that morning and it was actually in those moments of him pushing you in the cart, playfully arguing about the best ice cream flavors and talking about getting a dog together that made you realize you were falling in love with the older boy. 

He wasn’t a typical bodyguard. Most security detail you’ve seen that were assigned to other celebrities seemed stern and extremely strict. You could’ve sworn you’ve never seen any other body guard crack a smile or even just a little giggle before; but not Jackson. Jackson was your own personal ray of sunshine. 

Whenever you had a press conference to go to or a movie premiere to attend, he tried his best to calm down your nerves by telling you embarrassing stories from his childhood or using cheesy pickup lines on you. It was hard not to develop feelings for him because you were around him all the time and he both did and said the right things to set your bones on fire. You were happiest whenever he was around. Hell, there were times where you forgot he was just your bodyguard and you would invite him over to your house to play video games or to bake cookies with you. 

You loved being domestic with him and loved having him around. Sure, it was his job to protect you and keep you safe from the dangers of the world, but he was your safe haven. You felt like you were invincible with him by your side.

Over the course of him being your bodyguard, there were constant flirtatious banter thrown back and forth between the two of you with stolen glances and soft touches here and there. To him, it probably didn’t mean anything; but to you it was everything. 

Whenever the two of you would watch movies, he would pull you in to his embrace and wrap his arms around your waist. If you were in the kitchen cooking lunch or dinner, he’d playfully hide specific ingredients where you couldn’t reach it so he’d have to get it for you. 

When the two of you would play video games together, he would prop you on to his lap and hide his face in the crook of your neck. There was one instance where you suffered a panic attack when you got in to a car crash after speeding away from a bunch of reporters trying to stir up a romance story with you and one of your co-stars. 

Jackson hated that he wasn’t there for you when it happened, but he did not leave your side once the entire weekend. He held you as you cried and left soft kisses against your hair in order to get you to calm down. 

As much as you wanted your relationship with Jackson to go beyond your working partnership, you didn’t want him getting involved with all the unnecessary hate and drama that came with dating an actress nor did you want people to bother him or attack him if they were to find out the two of you were dating. You also didn’t know where he stood when it came to your relationship. For all you knew, you were just his boss. Someone he was being paid to protect. He was just being friendly and doing his job. You pushed back the negative thoughts and your made up scenarios to the back of your mind not wanting to make things complicated. 

You were so focused on walking in to the building that you failed to notice that Jackson was no longer following behind you until you heard screams and a cry for help. The man who had degraded you earlier was now on the floor and so was Jackson, swinging countless punches at him. Your heart rate increased at the sight and you felt your anxiety growing. 

Absentmindedly, you made your way back to Jackson and tugged softly at his wrist, trying your best to get him to pull away. You knew that Jackson could get in legal trouble for assaulting someone and you didn’t want him going to jail for something like this. You refused to live without him. 

“Jackson—Jack. Let go of him! Please! Jackson that is enough! Do it for me—please.” It was obvious that Jackson had the biggest soft spot for you and the soft caress of your thumb broke him out of his thoughts. 

“Don’t you talk bad about y/n or come around her ever again. I’ll make sure you regret the day you were born.” He got up and reached for your hand, quickly intertwining your fingers together and roughly yanked you towards the studio. 

The amount of anger and hatred that he held in his eyes scared you, but you knew it was because the paparazzi was overstepping his boundaries. Sure, Jackson was a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, but he could be aggressive when the situation called for it. After making your way through the halls, you found your dressing room and pulled away from Jackson’s grasp. 

The atmosphere was tense and you had so many thoughts running through your mind. As you were about to open your mouth to speak up, Jackson beat you to it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I didn’t know I was going to attack him like that. It was irrational and unprofessional of me—“ you gave him a sad smile before making your way towards him and ran one of your hands through his hair. 

“You were trying to protect me. That’s what you’re supposed to do. He took it too far, there’s nothing for you to apologize for. If I’m being honest, I found it really cute how you defended my honor. It was kind of hot actually.” He giggled softly as he placed his chin on top of your head. 

“I’d do anything for you, you know that. I’m sorry he said all those things about you and that I acted on it instead of letting it go. I just hated the way he was talking about my girl—ah shit—“ The blush that rose on his cheeks made your heart flutter and you found yourself pulling away from his embrace in order to cup his cheeks and connect your lips together. 

Kissing him was an indescribable feeling; especially because you’ve been wanting to know what his lips felt like against yours since the day you laid your eyes on him. His lips were soft and tasted like the sea salt caramel ice cream the two of you had before coming here. His hands made their way down to your hips and all but gently gripped against your back while nipping and sucking on your bottom lip. 

The kiss was extremely passionate and definitely worth the wait. Feeling him smile against your lips did wonders to your heart and to Jackson’s dismay, you pulled away. You placed your forehead against his chest and snickered when you looked up and saw the flustered expression on his face.

“Your girl huh? I like the sound of that. Took you long enough.” He rolled his eyes at your comment while pulling you closer to his body if it was even possible. 

“I’ve always had feelings for you. You’re extremely beautiful y/n, but my feelings for you go beyond your beauty. You’re the most hard working person I know. You’re extremely generous, charismatic, funny, talented, passionate and you have such a genuine and kind heart. I never felt like I was ever good enough for you. Look at you. You’ve accomplished so much for someone at your age. You’ve done so much for so many people and travelled all around the world. You’re a marvelous human being y/n and I’m just your body guard. Just a normal guy, whose madly in love with you. I’m nothing special—“ the chaste kiss on his lips prevented him from continuing to degrade himself. You hated that he thought so little of himself when you thought the world of him. 

“When I became an actress, I did so because I loved acting. I didn’t care about becoming a celebrity. I was always somewhat of an introvert. Sure, I love having fans and so many supporters, but I miss being able to do things I used to do without having to worry about my safety or being followed. I want to go shopping or to the ice skating rink without cameras being shoved in my face or feeling as if I’m under a telescope being scrutinized for every little thing that I do. Everything changed the day you walked in to my life. I always feel like I can be myself around you. When I’m with you, I’m not afraid to joke around, laugh and be free knowing you won’t judge me. I’m happiest when I’m with you Jackson. You never fail to make me smile and my stomach always seems to swarm with butterflies at the mere thought of you. I love being around you. No matter how nervous I can get sometimes or if I feel like I’m on the verge of a mental breakdown, just one look at you can ease my mind and make me feel better. You’re the best body guard a girl could ask for. Don’t ever feel like you’re not good enough for me. You’re such a wonderful human being and it doesn’t hurt that you’re extremely good looking, kind hearted and quite the joker. I’m in love with you too by the way.” 

He grinned at your confession and began to leave wet kisses all around your face. “How about this, after your interview, you and I can head back to your place, order some take out, watch a couple of movies, kiss a little and I can go to bed with you in my arms?” 

You hummed in contentment against his jaw. “Just a little?” 

He smirked. “Or a lot. Yeah, maybe a lot. I lose my sanity when I’m around you. Come on, the faster you’re finished, the sooner we get to cuddle and make out. Now go baby. Make me proud.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #336

"get back, you’re never gonna leave him  /  get back, you’re always gonna please him”

What were your favorite things to draw when you were a lil kid? When I was a very little kid, idk. But once I got into meerkats... I drew them like crazy. Do you think there is something with or around you, like a spirit, angel, ghost or something else? How does this make you feel? No. Imagine you’re a stranger looking at yourself. What things would immediately catch your eye? Ugh, let's not. When did you feel the most confident in your life? Probably my senior year of high school. I was happy with Jason with plans for the future together, I was doing excellently in school... I thought I was really going to go somewhere. Do you think love is needed to have good sex? For some people, no. For me, loving one another is an absolute must. Do you think, or want to, die in the city you currently live in? Fuuuuuuuck no, I hate it here. What is the strangest thing you have ever encountered? Probably when I was otw home from my doctor appointment and we passed a random guy in drag walking on the side of the street... That guy is an icon. Favourite soft drink? It's really strawberry Sunkist, but I love it to a degree I don't even allow myself to drink it, because I will fucking destroy that shit so quick. So I tend to just say Mountain Dew Voltage is my fave. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy, period. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No, but it sounds fun. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhhh idk. Who depends on you the most? My snake. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Yes; William Clark and Queen Victoria or Queen Elizabeth, idr which. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Mom. She only has one kidney, so, y'know. She kinda needs at least one. I wouldn't even hesitate. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Unconditional love. What three things do you think of most of each day? My weight is #1. Every second of every day, it, as well as Jason, are somewhere towards the front of my mind. The final is financial and job-oriented stuff. Does/did your high school have pop machines? It did. Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yeah. How often do you use Flickr? I pretty much abandoned my account; nowadays I only occasional check my friend's profile who works at the Kalahari Meerkat Project because she uploads wonderful pictures of the 'kats as well as gives interesting info about them! Who is the last child that you took a photo with? Mom took a picture of me holding my youngest niece Emerson because it surprised everyone; I NEVER hold babies. She crawled over to me and reached up though, so of course I was going to pick her up. How often do you wear hats? Never. Would you ever get a nature tattoo? Sure! Idk what, but I'm rather sure I'll get at leaast one. Is anyone in your family sick at the moment? No. Where do your siblings work, if anywhere? My older sister is a mammographer, and my younger sis is a social worker. Where is your favorite place to buy groceries? Wal-Mart, I guess. Who do you generally talk to the most? My mom. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname? Mom is "Mama Bear," and then my siblings are "Little Sister" and "Big Sister." Whose birthday is coming up? My lil sister has her birthday in April. Have you ever ordered from an informercial? No. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin? I needed to get blood drawn for some testing. It was drawn from my inner elbow, obviously at the doctor. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? I never have, but it'd be fun. I enjoy puzzles. How many followers do you have on Instagram? I don't feel like checking. What’s the most recent music video you watched? Thoughts? "Mutter" by Rammstein. I picked a screenshot from it to draw, so I rewatched it to select one. It's a beautiful video, but also strange, which Rammstein is great at. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. What makeup products are your go-tos? If I wear makeup, the bare minimum is black eyeliner. Are you going to school this year? No. I gave college as many shots as I could handle both sanity-wise and with finances in mind. I do NOT want to even ATTEMPT to imagine the debt I have after going to three different colleges and dropping out each time. What is your favorite water activity? I enjoy just kinda swimming around aimlessly, relaxing. What are your favorite video games? Okay, I talk about SH2 and SotC enough on questions like this, so I'll mention some others I really enjoy as well: the Silent Hill franchise in general, Spyro games, The Last Guardian, both The Evil Withins, The Last of Us, some Resident Evil games (the 4th in particular), etc. etc. I just love video games. Do you like jello? I enjoy the flavor, but the texture makes me squirm. When was the last time you gave someone "the finger?" Probably while riding in the car with Mom when a dumb motherfucker swerved into our lane. Or something like that, idr the exact occasion. Have you ever held a snake? Yesssss, I want to hold all the snakes. ;_; Most unique place you’ve ever been to? Uh. I guess maybe the Whirligig Park/"Acid Park" nearby us? It's just this large expanse of unique architecture that are mostly, as you guessed it, extravagant whirligigs. You've got to see it if you come to the town. I have some pictures on my deviantART if you wanna see a few pieces. If you were a superhero, what color would your cape be? NO CAPES! Have you ever slept out on your porch all night? Oh fuck no. I'd feel way, way too unsafe. Do you like horror movies? Yeah! What’s your favorite Coke product? Just normal Coke. Watergun or water-balloon war? Watergun. I don't like being hit with stuff. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? I kind of am. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? I have three plushies from Jason, Tyler, and Girt. My Marilyn Manson poster is also from Juan. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don't know; I was never a big fan, so I don't know any of them as people well at all. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? I've never been drunk, but no, I've never texted an ex because I was drinking. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? I don't have one. The only instance where I had to do that was with Girt. Tall motherfucker. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? Yes. Those are the best. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Girt once tried to make out with me and I noped the fuck outta that situation. It was so fucking awkward. Is your mood or the overall tone of your day often affected by the dreams you had the night before? My nightmares definitely can. Do you think that there are any positive aspects or outcomes of suffering from a mental illness? If you have a mental illness, do you think it has changed you for the better in any way? I definitely believe my mental illnesses forced me to mature faster and also instilled a great sense of empathy in me. And don't forget emotional endurance. What is your opinion on celebrity culture and celebrity worship? Have you ever been guilty of putting a celebrity on a pedestal? Do you think it’s somehow more acceptable/understandable to obsess over certain types of celebrities (musicians over YouTubers, say) than others? At what point do you think an obsession like that crosses the line? It's dangerous and can be very blinding. An outsider could say I put Mark on a pedestal, but I've always been very aware that he's not perfect and really just another human, I just happen to love him a lot for the human he is, haha. As time's passed, my vision of him has become healthier though (not to say it ever reached the "unhealthy" threshold); it's gotten easier for me to judge him and stuff like that. I think an obsession crosses the line when you put on rose-tinted glasses to look upon someone and entirely ignore their flaws, or if you try to invade their personal lives, ex. being one of those creeps that loiter outside their houses and stuff. If you were to pursue a career in photography and had the opportunity and means to photograph whatever you wanted, what would most like to photograph? Ah, livin' the dream. If I had to choice and would be paid well regardless of focus, I would absolutely travel and photograph the local nature/wildlife. Is there a certain type of clothing (outerwear, activewear, loungewear, etc.) that you enjoy shopping for more than others? Shirts, 100%. Are you ever afraid to post your ideas, artwork, photography, etc. online for fear that they will get stolen or not credited? When it comes to OCs, yes, given that things have been stolen from me before. Photography doesn't worry me much because I don't think I'm good enough for someone to possibly want to steal it (and besides, I use a watermark), and I do the same for drawings. It's the unique characters I make I worry about being stolen if I share them. When is the last time you did something sexual? A few years back. Who is the last person you showered with, if anyone? I haven't showered with someone since I was a little kid and my younger sister and I would to conserve water. What do you think when you see roadkill on the side of the road? It really makes me genuinely sad, and I always wonder if it could have been avoided if the driver was more alert, slower, and thinking about more than the damage it could cause to their car... I enjoy photographing roadkill, brutal as it may be, out of respect for them and the desire to make their individual stories known and just kind of like, raise awareness of it. Too many people are just annoyed by hitting an animal versus more concerned. "Stupid deer," stuff like that. I sometimes worry that doing so can be interpreted as disrespect, to photograph and publish pictures of their corpses online, but I sure hope not. It's the least of my intentions. I just want people to see and care. Have you ever had an ex that just didn’t understand that it was over? Biiiitch I was that ex, 120%. But besides my situation with Jason, this was how Tyler was. I had to tell him about five thousand times to stop texting me. Are your fingernails currently short or long? They're always pretty short. Would you rather have big or small dogs? I like medium-sized dogs most. I'd have to pick large dogs between the two, though. What is your favorite sports drink? I'm not a fan of sports drinks. What was the last compliment you gave a guy? Yesterday, a guy in PHP shared two poems he wrote while hospitalized, and they were wonderful, so full of passion and emotion. I sure as hell told him they were amazing. He's going for his Master's for poetry, so he knows what he's doing for real. Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock? It's popped on very, very few occasions. Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids “the talk”? I don't want kids, so no, I've never thought of this. I certainly wouldn't wait for sex ed in school, though. I feel like it's a bit late. I feel children need to know what it's about at a younger age with how disgusting some people are... I want them to be informed on what consent and molestation are so they know to let Mama know so I can punch someone's face into a whole new galaxy if they're ever violated. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something? Oh, always. Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up? I did as a kid, sure. Not so much now. If you were married, and your spouse’s parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? If they were truly sick enough to need assistance but not actual hospitalization, yes. I'd want my spouse to do the same for me. Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yyyyep. What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric. Did you actually have a cookie jar? We have a Santa one, though I don't even know if we ever used it versus just having it as a decoration. What’s worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed. What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? Bottom lip. Do you think that knowing when and how you’re going to die would ruin your life? "Ruin" it seems a bit extreme, but I definitely wouldn't like it. Do you have a favorite bromance? From TV or a movie. Not really, if we're only talking those two options. Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable? Yeah, you really can find the coolest shit for great prices. What color is your wallet? Mostly red and white; it's a Harley Quinn design. Have you ever been somebody's photography subject? No. Nicki Minaj fan? I believe she's a very talented rapper, but I don't enjoy her actual music. I just don't like rap. Have you ever seen the Niagara Falls? No, I wish tho.

[purplesurveys]

1193

Have you ever been cheated on?  Nope.

Whose car were you last in?  Other than my own? Hans’s, but that was over two months ago. 

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?  How timely is this, Andi literally randomly asked me how I feel about septum piercings this afternoon haha. Anyway, I have no problem with it on other people but I personally wouldn’t pick my nose as a spot for piercings.

Have your parents ever smoked pot?  I don’t know, they may have but there’s a big chance they haven’t. They don’t really share much about their youth so I would never know.

Do you tend to make relationships complicated?  That’s definitely not me.

Are you good at giving directions?  Not at all; if anyone asks me directly I usually immediately refer them to whoever I’m with at the time. Or I tell them to check Waze.

Would your mom care if she found condoms in your room?  She would and she’d definitely be pissed about it. Not that I have to worry about this ever happening, though.

Did you speak to your father today?  Yessssssss, I literally just caught a glimpse of him like two minutes ago.

Did you kiss someone before you were sixteen?  No, I was 16 turning 17 when I had my first.

Could you go a day without eating?  Yeah, but I wouldn’t feel well by the end of it. I’ve formed a habit of skipping breakfast and lunch on weekdays now, and I always feel like complete shit once I clock out. Considering I only eat dinner these days, I guess I can say I do regularly go entire days without eating.

Are your nails always painted? I never paint them/have them painted.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before?  Just local ones.

What color is your hair?  Black.

Your best friend needed somewhere to stay, could they live with you? Yes.

Have you danced in the rain?  Maybe? I don’t know. Doesn’t sound like something I would do, though.

When you said something naughty when you were little, did your parents wash out your tongue with soap?  Nope. I never liked getting in trouble, even as a kid, so I stayed out of it.

What do you think of spanking little children when they do something wrong? Okay or not?  That’s a common practice where I live, at least it was during my time. My mom didn’t believe in spanking her kids, which I’ll always be thankful for; but the cousins I lived with didn’t have the same fate so I regularly had to watch them get spanked - with sticks, slippers, belts, etc basically anything that was within reach. I think today’s generation of parents are different; I hope they are.

Who was the last male you hung out with?  Gab, Kyelle, Al, and Hans.

Who is your favorite person to text?  I don’t text anymore, but I do chat with Angela on Messenger everyday.

Who did you last take a picture with?  Does an online photo count? We had an event held through Zoom last Wednesday and we had a photo op by the end of it.

What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I don’t have any. I just wear whichever pair I’d feel good and confident wearing.

Which show is better: Spongebob or The Fairly Odd Parents?  Nooooooooo you’re making me pick between my two absolute favorites. I might have to go with Spongebob, but it barely barely barely won. Fairly OddParents is great too, at least until they added the baby fairy.

Has anyone ever told you that you looked like someone else?  Many times. Idk if I’m happy about it because something tells me it just means I have quite the common face. Idk. I don’t think too much about it and as long as I’m compared to someone I personally find pretty, it’s fine lol.

Do you enjoy the sound of crickets at night and birds in the morning?  Not so much. I find them too loud, especially the crickets.

Who is the most overrated singer?  Taylor Swift.

What is your favourite planet?  I don’t have one, but let’s go with Saturn.

Do you have any pets that you had since you were born?  Wow no. 23 years is a very long time.

Do you own anything that you had when you were a baby?  Yep, my mom kept all our umbilical cord stumps. It’s in our baby albums.

Do you enjoy Mario games?  Very much so. It’s the only franchise I can play HAHAHA

What’s your favorite online game?  I don’t play online games.

Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class?  I probably have been.

Do you ever turn your cell phone off?  I used to sometimes shut it off whenever I’d fight with my ex and I didn’t want to deal with the world for a while. Now with the toxicity out of my life I never turn it off lol.

Who was last to cook for you?  My mom made pasta for dinner tonight. Then after that I asked her to make me coffee mixed with Milo.

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them?  Depends on who texts. I get anxious when it’s media texting, so I tend to ignore those for a few hours unless they ask something urgent. If it’s someone from my inner circle, like a friend or one of my parents, I would check and reply immediately, or at least as soon as I see the text.

Who is your most trusted person?  Mmm, probably Angela. I literally reached out last night to ask her to log on to my Facebook so she can unfriend Gab and her family on my behalf. I don’t think I would’ve asked that from anyone else.

How late did you stay up last night?  A little earlier than my usual, around midnight or so. I knew my load was going to be packed today since my manager had filed a leave which meant I had to cover for her tasks as well, so I wanted to get enough rest so that I didn’t wake up sleepy and cranky.

When/where are you most likely to sing?  As long as I’m alone, I’ll sing. I like to do it, just not in front of other people.

Would you ever wish to explore a cave?  That would be soooooooo nice. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a cave. :(

You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do?  I imagine giving her an awkward smile and probably being the first to approach. Then I would ask how she’s been. I’m in a place in my life where I’m sure I’ll be able to do that.

Have you been/are you depressed?  I’ve been there many times.

Are your pop-ups blocked on your computer? Yes.

Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high?  No. I would hate to be in that situation.

Who is the best hugger you know?  Laurice.

Have you ever had to be put to sleep for an operation?  Nopes.

Does anybody have any proof of stupid things you have done?  I know Angela has a few. Gabie took a few as well; whether she still has them or not I’m not updated on anymore, nor do I care.

Why did you text the last person in your inbox?  I was just reminding Angela there was a BTS video coming out tonight.

Have you ever been able to do a split?  No but I’ve attemped to do it many times.

Did you ever date the last person you kissed?  Yes.

Are you intimidated by the last person you know talked badly about you?  I never keep track of things like that. I know it would bring nothing but unnecessary stress, so I never snoop or ask around to check if anyone’s been talking not-so-nicely about me behind my back.

Have you ever cried in school?  Maybe only about once or twice in the 18 years I was in school. I absolutely hate crying in front of people, and I mainly do it when I’m alone. I don’t think I’ve even ever cried in front of Angela; that’s how much I hate it.

Last person of the opposite sex you screamed at?  I don’t remember ever screaming at a guy.

Do you have any weird sleep habits?  I...wouldn’t know, since I’m asleep when I do them. I always sleep alone too, so no one would be able to tell me how I sleep. All I know is I’m not much of a mover and I usually wake up in the same position (or almost the same position) I fell asleep in.

Do you consider yourself an emotional person?  Yes, I’m sensitive in every sense of the word.

When was the last time you had a headache?  Last Wednesday when not eating for the entire day finally hit me like a truck by the end of my shift. :/

When was the last time you encountered a puppy? Cooper circa September.

Is there anything that happened a long time ago that you still laugh about?  Yes, many instances.

Do you ever try to interpret your dreams?  No, I don’t think anything of them beyond “just weird scenarios of people I know doing weird things.”

What was the last thing you bought impulsively?  Three orders of sushi, 24 pieces in total.

How do you feel about singing songs out loud in front of other people? No amount of money would make me do it.

When was the last time you were feeling really, really nervous?  This afternoon when a supplier we’re currently working with asked to call. Normally my manager would be the one mainly in touch with people like them, but since she was out today I was next in line.

If you’re no longer in school, what is something you miss about it? If you’re still in school, what’s something you think you’re going to miss about it? I miss seeing my friends everyday and being able to hang out after our classes, even if it just means sitting at a table doing nothing together.

Do you use your turn signals when you’re driving?  Excessively. I use it even in the subdivision lmao, or on one-way roads.

How exactly are you feeling right now?  Content. It’s a little hot and mosquitoes keep flying around me, but I’m not letting these affect my mood. Just focusing on the fact that it’s a Friday night and I can let go of work for a couple of days.

Have you ever had to board up your windows because of a hurricane?  Never happened before. I just close up my windows completely so that they don’t slam if ever the wind gets too strong.

Do you tell anyone to chew with their mouths closed?  I don’t recall ever feeling the need to do this. The sound doesn’t bother me much anyway; definitely not as much as it annoys most people.

Have you ever ordered pizza and sent it to someone else’s house?  Yup I did that for Angela and Kata recently, for my birthday, along with truffle mac and cheese. Basically my favorite orders from Mama Lou’s, haha.

What was the first thing you drank when you woke up this morning? I believe it was water.

Do you think stretch marks from having a baby are ugly or badges of honor?  Ugh this question is so outdated I don’t even want to take the time to answer it.

Ever done a keg stand?  No.

Who is the last person you lent money to?  I don’t lend my money.

Do you share clothing with anyone?  Mmm, sometimes. It’s usually me borrowing clothes from my sister, though.

Have you ever visited anyone in a rehab?  Nope.

Was the last thing you drank a Coke or Pepsi product?  No, it was just water. I’d never be caught craving for soda.

Honestly, do you think that you’re going to be an overprotective parent? No. I experienced having strict parents, so I know it’s not something I would want to pass on to my kids. I want my kids to be able to go out with friends and attend parties and get tattoos (when they’re older) and express their identity without being scared of me.

What was the last kind of chips you ate?  Piattos cheddar chips.

What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t?  Investing and stocks.

What is the last thing you charged?  My laptop.

Have you ever held a snake?  Yes. I’m always the only one in the family willing to do things like this when we go on vacations haha.

[gothpanda]

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch.20: Dirty Little Secret

WORD COUNT: 5.1K

A/N:so sorry if the smut sucks. it was my first time 

WARNINGS: SMUT, DRUGS, (slight) abusive power, and language

TAGS: @madamsixx​

Read On Ao3 

Previous/Next

“I’m sorry?” said Sammi. Her jaw almost dropped to the floor as she stared at Sharise. Sammi’s hearing almost felt like she was going deaf, as if she got hit by a bus. Sharise pulled her ear in nervousness, looking at the ground below her.

“Please don’t get angry,” pleaded Sharise, bringing her hands up to her chest.

Sammi ran her hands through her hair, pushing it out of her face. “How-How pregnant are you? When did you sleep with Vince?!”

“I’m going on four months, it happened back in August. I promise you, I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. Every time he came down to my work, Vince and his friends made it seem like they were bachelors,”  said Sharise.

“Well you sure don’t look pregnant,” muttered Sammi, looking down at Sharise’s stomach.

“Thanks… my mom said it happens when you’re pregnant for the first time,” mumbled Sharise.

“So you didn’t know Vince was in a relationship until the party?” asked Sammi. Sharise nodded with fear, playing with her hands. Sammi only dragged a hand down her face, looking out into the distance of the neighborhood.

“Alright. You can come inside. Vince has to be home,” Sammi walked up to the door, picking out her spare key from her chain. As she pushed the door open, Sammi could hear the tv being played far into the distance of the house. The two women stepped into the house slowly, closing the door to make no noise.

“Vince! I’m home! We need to talk!” yelled Sammi, staring down at the floor and leaning on the staircase. She could see Sharise nervously play with her hair, not knowing if she should be nice to her or hate her so fast. “Vince!” shouted Sammi again.

“I’m coming babe! I’m sorry about today-,” said Vince until silenced as he saw Sharise stand in his foyer. “Sharise? Wha-Wha-What are you doing here” stuttered the blonde man. He looked over to Sammi, seeing the clear coldness in her eyes as she looked between both of them.

“Vince we need to talk about what happened back in August,” said Sharise, straightening her shoulders back.

“What are you talking about? What did we do?” asked nervously Vince, hiding his hands in his jean pockets. Sammi rolled her eyes, shaking her head at Vince.

“Vince, I know you two fucked. You might as well spell it out for Vince, Sharise,” said Sammi. In that instance, Sharise dug through her purse to pull out a yellow envelope with nothing on the front of it.

“I need you to go to the clinic on this document for a paternity test next Monday. Because as of right now I know it’s yours but I need proof,” said Sharise. Vince yanked the envelope out of Sharises hand, ripping it open to see a court order in his name.

“What the fuck Sharise? You can’t be fucking serious?” asked Vince, scrunching his eyebrows at the woman.

“Look this is a two way street and the fact you made it seem you were single makes it worse. Be a fucking man and take responsiblity,” spatted Sharise, biting the inside of her cheek. “I really am sorry Sammi,” Sharise said to Sammi right as she walked out the door to leave the couple. They were silent for a minute, Vince looking at Sammi who dared not see his face.

“Sammi I’m sorry,” uttered Vince, stepping closer to Sammi. She put her hand to stop him from coming closer, showing him her glossy eyes.

“Not even a year, and you couldn’t stop yourself from getting your dick in another woman,” said Sammi, letting out a shaky breath. “I fucking knew something was up when I met her that night. Then come to find out she was from that fucking Tropicana place,”

Vince bit his lip, throwing the envelope far away from him. “It didn’t happen! I swear I didn’t have sex with her!”

“Then why is she fucking get a court order to prove your the dad!? Huh?!”

“I don’t know but I didn’t have sex with her, please believe me, Sammi,” said Vince, grabbing Sammi’s hands. Sammi yanked herself away from Vince’s hold, stepping towards the door. “Please Sammi, I love you!”

“Shut up! And answer me this one question, who would you go to Tropicana with?” asked Sammi, biting her lip.

Vince wrinkled his nose and eyebrows together, “What? What does that have to do with anything?”

“Just answer the fucking question,” ordered Sammi, tears on the brink of escaping her eyes.

“Some guys from other bands…”

“Then why the fuck should I believe you knowing you went to a bar without my brother and the other guys? Makes you pretty fucking shady if ask me,” said Sammi, pushing Vince away from her. “If you weren’t doing anything, then at least Tommy would’ve gone with you,”

“I love you. You know that,” pleaded Vince,

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have fucked another woman!” said Sammi right as she shut the door hard in Vince’s face. Sammi stomped to her car, letting tears roll down her face without a care in the world. Once getting into her car, Sammi took a deep breath as she turned on her ignition to tear down the street.

January 17th, 1985

‘5 miss calls and 5 voice messages. New message’ “Sammi please answer. I know to give you your space I need to know everything is okay. I shouldn’t have lied about Sharise. Plea-” * delete*

January 21st, 1985

‘6 miss calls and 3 voice messages. New message’ “I think Tommy is gonna kill me one day. Athena threw her purse at my head when she came to get your stuff. I know I’m gonna be a dad but that doesn’t have to fuck-” * delete*

January 27th, 1985

“Sunny, please talk to me. I fucking miss you. Everything is going to fucking shit with the band and I need you. I need-” * delete*

January 30th, 1985

“Hey Princess it’s Nikki. I know I’ve been a bit M.I.A and kind of a shit head. I just wanted to say I’m sorry about Vince. Trust me I hate his ass too. Call if you need anything. Uh… miss you… ,”

“Hey Sam it’s Mick. Sorry about the Vince shit. Hope to see you soon even if I don’t say it out loud. Later,”

‘No other new messages’

February 2nd, 1985

Shopping bags in one hand and an ice cream cone in another, Sammi and her friends strolled down the busy mall for Emma’s version of therapy. Emma rambled away about her swimming team mates not being a team for once. Sabrina and Sammi laughed along with Emma’s complaining that was purely humorous. Sammi’s attention quickly zoned in on a gossip magazine front and center of a newsstand kiosk right by the girls. She walked right to it, groaned at the sight of a paparazzi photo of her in comparison to Vince and Sharise. Sammi then noticed other magazines with Vince’s face in smaller corners with her right next to him.

“So that’s her face? Was trying to remember what the blonde fucking looked like,” said Emma, walking right next to Sammi and yanked the magazine from the stand for a closer look. Sabrina looked over Emma’s shoulder to read the short headlines to grab readers attention.

“Motley Crue singer leaves girl next door brunette for a busty mud wrestler blonde. What is so different this time around? Read more on page 13,” read Sabrina, frowning in concentration.

“Oh bullshit, I left his ass,” hissed Sammi, throwing her ice cream in the trash before grabbing the magazine for herself.

“Hey! You got to buy those before you read them!” a 20 something year old guy shouted at the girls from his cash register.

“I’m on this stupid magazine, so shut it!” scoffed Sammi, flipping off the sales guy and walking off. Emma withheld a laugh while Sabrina apologized to the man before following Sammi to a bench by the fountain. Sammi flipped through the paper booklet, eyes going wide to see a two page spread on her and Vince. The idea of being around famous guys didn’t hit Sammi until recently. The recent growth in constant rock magazines helped Motley Crue become infamous in the celebrity world. Motley weren’t famous rock stars to Sammi, they were a group of idiots where one of them just so happened to be her brother.

“Well at least you look hot in these photos,” said Emma reading over Sammi’s shoulder.

“Yeah not hot enough to keep Vince around,” mumbled Sammi. Straightening her shoulders, Sammi held the magazine out in front to read out loud. “Singer of heavy metal band Motley Crue apparently isn’t too young to fall in love. Vince Neil was spotted out in Santa Monica with aspiring model Sharise Ruddell. While this may seem like a blossoming romance, is it too soon from his girl next door Samantha Bass? Ew I fucking hate this,” uttered Sammi, handing the magazine to Sabrina to read the rest of it.

“Who the hell told them you were in college for medicine?” asked Sabrina

“Probably rang up a few of our co-workers to get some shit on me,” mumbled Sammi, leaning her head on Emma’s shoulder.

“Well it doesn’t say that Sharise is pregnant if that’s a plus side. It’s basically a comparison of Sharise and you being complete opposites. You’re written as a sweetheart who can do no wrong,” said Sabrina stuffing the magazine in one of her shopping bags.

“Yeah because I have half a brain to not slash all of Vince’s tires. Athena gives enough death stares to him for me,” said Sammi.

“If you want we could stalk him at his favorite hang out spots to throw drinks on him!” cheerful suggested Emma, only getting a stern look from Sabrina and a small chuckle from Sammi.

“No. I think retail therapy is doing its job for right now. I haven’t cried all day so that’s something,” said Sammi, standing up from the bench with a small smile on her face.

“That’s the spirit! Hey since we’re still on the first floor, can we check out Contempo Casuals?” asked Sabrina, wide-eyed like a child asking their mom. Sammi’s face went dead, staying silent at the sound of her old job. Emma curled her lip at Sabrina, thinking of the idea. “Please I need new skirts, I feel like I wear the same ones all the time,”

“That’s because you buy the same ones all time, but that’s okay, S. We still love you,” joked Emma, grabbing Sammi by the hand to bring her to the place she hates the most. “Let’s go!”

*

“Hey Em, that top on the mannequin is totally your style,” pointed out Sabrina as the girls approached the store. Through the windows, Sammi could see Britney in the near front to organize the denim display. She scoffed at the sight of her former friend, not hearing from her for almost a year.

“Hi welcome to Contempo Casuals,” said Britney, smile disappearing at the sight of Sammi, “let me know if you need anything,”

“Yeah, where can I find that yellow top that’s on the mannequin?” asked Emma, hanging her arm around Sammi. Britney didn’t fail to eye Sammi even with Emma and Sabrina around. She studied Sammi’s appearance, seeing how she appeared to be better than the last time Britney saw her. Emma and Sabrina gave each other questioning looks, unaware of the two.

“How’s it going, Sammi?” asked Britney with a smile.

“Great, now can you just answer my friend's question?” demanded Sammi, crossing her arms against her chest, biting the inside of her cheek. “And remember you’re at work so don’t pretended to be Amanda, sweetie,”

Britney inhaled sharply “You can find the blouses on the right in the new arrivals section. If you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask,” said the blonde as she walked away from them and further into the store.

Sammi gently pushed Emma’s arm off her shoulders, trying to disappear in between the racks of clothes. Emma and Sabrina sandwiched Sammi between them, looking to see if Britney was around.

“Okay spill. Who was that and why did it look like she hated you?” asked Emma, gently placing a hand on her friend's shoulder .

“Long story short, I used to work here and that was one of my former best friends/roommates who sold all my shit after leaving for 5 months on tour,” whispered Sammi, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Both Emma and Sabrina’s eyes went wide, jaws almost dropping to the floor.

“When the hell did this happen?” asked Sabrina with a frown.

“A year ago. It happened right before I met you two and I buried that shit,” muttered Sammi, pouting at the memories.

“How come you never told us you worked here?” asked Emma. Sammi shrugged.

“Is this why you tiptoe around us about hanging out?” asked Sabrina. Sammi nodded with a frown. “Awe Sammi, you shouldn’t have felt like that,” said Sabrina, hugging Sammi with Emma following in her steps.

“Let’s just leave, I can get clothes at another store-”

“Samantha?” announced Britney making Sammi turn around to see the former friend. “Can we talk? Alone?” asked Britney, switching glares at Emma and Sabrina. Sammi gave questioning looks to Emma and Sabrina, getting a nod from Sabrina.

“Fine. You have 2 minutes out in the front,” ordered Sammi. Sammi led the way for Britney, staying cold to her. Emma glared Britney down to her core, making the shorter girl scared of the athlete. Sabrina only forced a smile that had an attitude as Britney walked right out the store.

“What do you want, Britney?” asked Sammi.

 “I just wanted to see how you were. You look great…” said Britney with a hesitant tone. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you…”

“Yeah it has been a while since you and Amanda sold all my shit and kicked me out of the condo that basically belonged to me,” barked Sammi.

Britney dropped her shoulders with a heavy sigh, feeling small from Sammi. “Look I’m sorry I listened to Amanda. I should’ve stopped her from selling your stuff, its just I pissed about you leaving and-,”

“Why were you mad at me in the first place? I don’t get it. For someone who kept encouraging me to be around Tommy and the guys, you definitely flipped a switch,”

“I was jealous. You were getting such a cool new life and I was stuck living in a shadow,” muttered Britney. “I mean the fact you didn’t come back begging for your old job shows something,”

“If you hate living in a shadow then don’t fucking listen to Amanda. She’s not a friend to anyone and only cares about herself. Emma and Sabrina have been better friends to me in a year than you and Amanda,” said Sammi.

“Yeah the tall tan one looks like she was about to hit me. I just wanted to apologize and that’s it. Now we can get back on track to being friends again,” said Britney with a smile.

Sammi curled her lip and raised an eyebrow, “Fuck no. Thanks for the apology but I’m not falling your bullshit,”

“What the fuck? Why not? I would’ve done it if it was the other way around,” said Britney, “We’ve known each other for years!”

“You wouldn’t have to because I’m not a jealous follower like you. This is what happens when you get on my bad side. You fucking stay there. And be a little good employee and tell my friends I’ll be out here waiting for them,” order Sammi, shooing away Britney with her hand.

Britney scoffed at Sammi turning on her heels, “Bitch!” she yelled out.

“Yeah yeah!” shouted Sammi.

*

Thin black heels of leather boots clanked down on the stone driveway of the only gothic mansion in Los Angeles. Sammi ran fingers through her loosely curled hair right as she rang the doorbell.  She swayed her weight from each foot, checking her new black manicure and twisting the rings on her left hand as she waited. Sammi straightened up once hearing the sound of the door unlock. A red lip smile grew on Sammi’s face when seeing Nikki have a surprised look on his face. He smirked at Sammi, but looked past her for anyone else to pop out from behind.

“Surprised to see me?” asked Sammi.

“Only because you came alone. Come on in, Princess. Came to give my jacket back or what?” asked Nikki, stepping aside as Sammi steadily made her way into his room. Sammi took off the jacket on her, aiming straight for the living room. She tossed on a nearby chair, revealing a lowcut halter top. Nikki's eyes trailed to her rear in the tight pants she wore, following like a lost puppy. As Sammi sat on the leather sofa, Nikki poured out two glasses of whiskey, passing her a glass once next to her. “So what brings you to my place?”

“Well you did leave a message on my answering machine. Something about you missing me?” teased softly Sammi, taking a sip of the strong liquor before placing it on the coffee table.

“That was only to cheer you up, clearly it worked if you’re here dressed for a party,” Nikki said in a flirtatious manner.

“Oh so you don’t miss your best friend? Guess I shouldn’t have come for a visit,” playfully said Sammi, getting up from her seat. She took three steps to get reeled into Nikki’s lap, a giggle erupting in her.

“Okay I missed you. Happy to hear in person, Princess?” asked Nikki, slowly sliding his hands to rest on Sammi’s butt. Sammi moved Nikki’s bangs to get a better look at his hazel eyes, seeing dark circles growing around them. Nikki grew tense under Sammi’s tough, swallowing hard in nervousness.

“Yes. Yes I am. You know I’ve never really seen your place. Your vampire cave in the middle of fancy L.A,” said Sammi, glancing around the living room alone.

“We’re adults Sammi. If you want to see my bedroom you can just say so,” said Nikki with a smirk, kissing Sammi on the neck.

“Yeah… I do wanna go to your bedroom. Maybe that’s where you keep the heroin,” said Sammi, her sultry smile turning to a scowl making Nikki tense up from. Sammi got off Nikki’s lap, standing right in front of him with her arms crossed. “Why the fuck are you doing heroin, huh? And taking it to the fucking studio!?” questioned Sammi with sternness in her voice. Nikki rubbed the sweat from his hands onto the sofa, looking away from Sammi.

“Look I’m sorry I gave your shitty boyfriend smack. I really thought it was coke!” yelled Nikki.

“I don’t care about that right now, I just want to know how the fuck you got into heroin! Was coke not enough?” asked Sammi, crouching down to get Nikki to look her in the eye. Nikki only looked above Sammi, not wanting to see her big eyes that could make him melt.

“It just fell into my lap when I was out with some people. It’s not the worst thing,” mumbled Nikki.

“It is the worst thing when it’s coming between you and your fucking job. Do you know how bad Elektra could drop your ass if they saw what happened two weeks ago?” said Sammi in hopes to snap Nikki out of it.

“We bring in money for Elektra so I doubt they’ll want to drop us,” said Nikki.

“Trust me with all the shit you four pull, you fucking lost Elektra money at some point. You can’t bullshit me, Nik, I’m just here to whip your ass into shape. Because I really don’t want all of you to fall,”

“Even with an asshole singer?” smirked Nikki. Sammi chuckled at Nikki, straightened up as she headed towards the upstairs of the house. Nikki’s sense went into instinct mode, eyes glued to Sammi while following her. Sammi glanced into open bedrooms, seeing some rooms a mess until stopping at the master bedroom doors. Nikki’s room was dark like him, red bed sheets almost like Vince but with a different feel. With only the bedside lamp on, Sammi could see an open wooden box on the nightstand. She could see a needle reflect from the yellow light with the baggies of heroin stuffed inside. “Sammi!” Nikki yelled down the hall, making Sammi close the box as she hid it behind her back. Nikki stormed into the bedroom, wide eyes looking around the place. Sammi extended her arm between them to keep a distance when Nikki marched to her.

“Sammi, I’m going to ask just this one time. Give me the box right now,” demanded Nikki, eyes bulging out with flaring nostrils. Sammi was almost scared of what Nikki could do, but didn’t want to back down.

“Nikki, you don’t need heroin okay? We can go to the drug clinic and help you out. They have stuff for-” utter Sammi, stepping away from the bedside slowly to reach the door. Nikki followed every one of Sammi’s movements, only wanting his drugs. He stepped closer to her, Sammi pressing her hand against his chest. Nikki grabbed Sammi by the wrist with force making her jump. She could feel the pressure, wincing at the feeling.

“If you don’t give me that box right now I’m going to rip it out of your hands,” hissed Nikki through his teeth. Sammi swallowed hard at the sight of Nikki, growing scared of him. “You’re a smart girl. Don’t fuck with a mans drugs,” Nikki squeezed Sammi’s wrist tighter, feeling a real sting of pain. Sammi's heart began beating out of her chest, having no thought of how to fix this. She had never been in a dilemma of a man putting their hands on her. In the cases of Vince getting mad, he’d always keep a distance from Sammi to calm down. Was Nikki always like this with girls or wasn’t because of the heroin?

“Nikki let go of my arm, you’re hurting me. Please,” begged Sammi, eyes watering up as she looked up at the man. “You don’t need this shit, Nik. We can do whatever the fuck you want if you just stop with the heroin before it gets bad,”

Nikki let go Sammi’s wrist slowly, running hands through his hair as he stepped away from the girl. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that. I really am sorry,”  Sammi stayed frozen, only following Nikki’s pacing with her eyes. “I’ll-I’ll-I’ll flush it down the toilet. Okay? There’s only a little bit left, I’ll flush it,” stuttered Nikki, rubbing his chin with anxiety.

“If I give it to you, you’re not gonna run?” asked Sammi, stepping towards the bathroom door. Nikki shook his head, reaching out to Sammi for his special box. In one safe swoop, Sammi ran to the bathroom, slamming the door shut with the lock. Nikki banged on the door hard, yelling out profanity to Sammi. Sammi ripped open all the little baggies over the toilet, feeling gross from the residue that stayed on her finger before finally flushing. She didn’t know what to do with the needles, jumping at the sound of Nikki hitting the wooden door harder. They looked dirty and used, afraid of even touching them. Sammi dumping everything from the box onto the floor, seeing the two needles crack. She stepped on the glass carefully to avoid the sharp metal points.

Sammi had a feeling Nikki would put his hands on her again once she opened the door, standing with complete balance as Sammi unlocked it. From all his body weight on the door, Nikki fell flat on his back against the cold bathroom tile, seeing his needles broken and Sammi looking down at him. He felt like shit for his outburst, catching the sadness in Sammi’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” Nikki mumbled under his breath. Sammi crouched down to Nikki, pushing away his hair from his face with a frown.

“Promise me you’re not gonna try to get it again?” begged Sammi with a whisper. Nikki lifted his upper body up, cupping Sammi’s face with his rough hand. Sammi only sank deeper into Nikki’s tough, giving him the look that affected any man. “Please?”

“I’ll try, Princess,” muttered Nikki, pressing his forehead against Sammi’s. Nikki kissed her forehead right before bringing Sammi’s lips to his. Sammi was hesitant with the kiss yet still fell right into Nikki, wanting him. Their lips danced perfectly in sync together, tongues slipping past each other to grow more in passion. Nikki’s hand trailed down Sammi’s chested, feeling her  left breast fit perfectly in his hand. He began slipping his hand under Sammi’s blouse until she pushed him and stood up over Nikki.

“Nope. Nope. I can’t,” said Sammi, walking out into the dimly lit bedroom. She flipped her hair to one side, Nikki quickly jumping up to follow Sammi. “I can’t just jump on you after my shit with Vince,”

Nikki scuffed at Sammi, gliding his hands on Sammi’s waist to pull her closer to him. “I don’t care about Vince. If you need to be under someone to get your mind off it, it’s perfectly fine,” Sammi pushed Nikki away, rolling her eyes at his words. “Oh come on, Princess you’re telling me you wouldn’t want to take your mind off him. Especially with someone who already knows you oh so well?” said Nikki, dropping feather light kisses on Sammi’s neck. Goosebumps rose on Sammi’s skin, trying her hardest to stand against Nikki.

“Can you really know what I like from only one time?” teased Sammi, tilting her head up with a coy smile. Nikki raised an eyebrow to Sammi, matching her attitude. He lifted Sammi up by her rear only to roughly toss her on his bed. Sammi yelped in enthusiasm, a smile coming on her face. Nikki ripped off Sammi’s heels, moving right above to take her smile away with his lips. Sammi buried her hand in Nikki’s hair with a light grip as their kisses turned hungry. The bassist's hands moved down on Sammi, untying knots that held her top together, slipping the fabric off.  

“Getting daring about not wearing bras anymore are we?,” joked Nikki, kissing down Sammi’s neck & chest until he reached her breasts. Sammi sighed in pleasure, shutting her eyes at the feeling of Nikki’s tongue dance on her nipple. While Nikki’s mouth stayed on Sammi, his hands went down, unzipping her pants as he slid them down with Sammi’s thong as well. Sammi pulled Nikki by his hair to bring him to her eyes, smirking at him while he scowled. In his way to gain dominance back, Nikki placed his hand right between Sammi’s legs, forcefully spreading them open. His finger teased Sammi’s clit ever so lightly, smirking at the sound of her gasps. Sammi arched her back off the bed with a moan, holding onto Nikki’s arm as he stayed playing with her slowly. He realized he didn’t like to rush with Sammi, Nikki enjoyed seeing Sammi become hungry for him, almost begging. Nikki also loved leaving lovebites in places only he knew if Sammi was fully clothed. He sank his teeth on the top of her breast as he inserted one finger into Sammi’s pussy, fingering her slowly gaining louder moans as a reward.

Sammi pulled up the hem of Nikki’s t-shirt, running her hand up Nikki’s chest. “I think you’re wearing too many clothes,” suggested Sammi, moaning as she did Nikki’s belt. Quickly Nikki stripped himself down to his boxers, Sammi having the pleasure to slip them off him. Sammi brought Nikki down to her lips as he rested right between her legs, hands feeling his toned back muscles to then squeeze his butt. Nikki chuckled under his breath, teasing Sammi’s slit with his hard dick. He smirked to hear Sammi hold back a moan as Nikki slowly inserted himself into her with complete ease from her wetness.

“Uh god,” gasped Sammi, throwing her head back against the pillow. She wrapped one leg around Nikki’s waist, beginning to take rhythm of their hips. With a tight grip, Nikki held onto Sammi’s leg, picking up his pace on her. He hid his face in the nape of Sammi’s neck, heavily breathing on her skin. “Oh Nikki,” moaned Sammi, scratching down Nikki’s back with her sharp nails. “Like it just like this, Princess?” Nikki uttered into Sammi’s ear making a shiver run down her spine. She nodded with pure ecstasy as Nikki rammed faster into, making her curl her toes from pleasure. Her moans became louder & louder, signalling she was so close to cumming as Nikki was. They were in sync the entire time, never missing a beat of their hips meeting faster and faster.

“Fuck!” gasped Sammi, feeling a relaxing numb run all over her body. A short moment later, Nikki groaned in relief while Sammi gave light kisses on his neck. He pulled out of Sammi, dropping himself right next to on the bed with a heavy chested. Sammi rested her arms above her head, breathing heavily with a dopey smile on her face. Nikki brought Sammi close to his chest, his fingers drawing figure 8’s on her bare forearm. They stayed silent for a good while, Sammi messing with the pendant of Nikki’s necklace. A necklace Sammi randomly bought him for his birthday. “I can’t believe we just did that,” mumbled Sammi on Nikki’s chest, still smiling.

Nikki chuckled, trying his best to stay relaxed right here. “You knew what you were doing coming in here dressed to kill,”

Sammi rested her chin against Nikki’s chested, playfully smirking at him. “I knew it would get your attention talk,”

“I really am sorry about grabbing you like that. I’ll make it up to you,” muttered Nikki, playing with a lock of the brunette's hair.

“Oh the sex wasn’t your way of making it up to me?” jokingly asked Sammi making Nikki smile with her. “It’s okay, just try to keep your promise and maybe you’ll be rewarded,”

“Oh?” asked Nikki, raising an eyebrow with his infamous smirk. “Is this gonna be our dirty little secret then?”

Sammi shuffles up, tenderly kissing Nikki and feeling his hand cup her cheek. She could feel the difference of kissing Vince to Nikki immediately, their personalities coming to light from under Sammi’s touch.

“Just don’t fuck it up, Nik,”

“I’ll try princess,” muttered Nikki, moving them both on their side. Nikki wrapped his arms around Sammi’s waist, spooning her as he hid his face in hair. Sammi kissed Nikki’s hand one last time before drifting off to sleep.

[justjessame]

Put Me In Coach Chapter 31

After Eric and Steven reminded Negan of just how much they took mine and Trey’s safety, emotional or physical, Negan told us that there were a second set of rooms down the hall from the ones he called home.  Shooting me an almost abashed glance, he mentioned that they were furnished with more of OUR furniture.  

“At least they don’t have my underwear in glass cases with flowers and candles,” I muttered, feeling at loose ends since Trey had taken to Negan’s arms and lap faster than he’d ever taken to a stranger in his entire short life.  I watched as MY son bounced happily on Coach’s jean clad leg, grinning at me like the silly toddler he was.  

“Speaking of shrines,” Eric offered, rushing over to the boxes, bags, and totes that Negan’s people had brought up for us.  I raised an eyebrow when Negan’s eyes met mine.  I had no fucking clue what Queen Eric had in store.  “AH HA,” he sounded triumphant and a glance at Steven showed me that he was looking at his lap in bemusement.  “THIS, bitch, is shrine worthy, NOT whatever nasty bits and bobs Coach has stored under lock and key.”  And in his hands, catching the fluorescent lights overhead, and shocking the living shit out of me because I hadn’t seen him sprint it along with us on our mad dash from Negan and my home, was the fucking frame he’d given me for graduation.  “Where should I put it?”

After dinner which Negan had brought up for the five of us, and a LONG conversation about that frame, Negan took Trey and his uncles to show them their rooms.  I started after them, but he stopped me.

“Amara, why don’t you take a hot bath?”  I stared at him, sure that he’d lost his damn mind.  “I’ll be right back.”  I watched him rock Trey lightly in his arms and once more kiss his soft curls like he’d been doing it forever.  

“You BOTH had better be right back,” I smiled at my little boy, whose dark eyes were locked on mine, even as he giggled at the bouncing of his new best friend.  “He’s only had one night out of my sight, Negan, I won’t make it two.”

Eric rolled his eyes.  “She acts like we don’t know which end his damn diaper goes on, but WHO fucking cleans up his vomit?”  I gagged a little at the memory of Trey’s first real vomit, nothing at all like the spit up I was used to.  “Exactly.”  He tipped his finger under Trey’s little chin.  “Like Uncle Eric and Uncle Steven don’t know things, we know tons of shit, don’t we, Boo Boo?”  Trey giggled again and it was my turn to laugh.  “I think Coach wants to make up with you, princess,” the tone was clear, mount him or I will and I shook my head.

“Still a thirsty little bitch, aren’t you, Eric?”  A glance at Negan told me that he was planning on leaving the final decision up to me.  That was rare.  “If he makes so much as a tiny little complaint-”

“Then we’ll be pounding on your door harder than Coach plans on pounding into you, OK?”  Another eye roll and I sighed.  “Trust us, Mara, you both need this.”

“Fine.”  I rushed up to kiss Trey good night, promising him that all he had to do was say the word and he’d be right back with mama.  And then, harder than when I’d left him with Steven and came with Negan to save a random person’s life, I watched them walk out the door of our new home.  

Inside the bedroom, our bedroom, I found the en suite bathroom easily enough.  Shaking my head again, I saw that not only had the asshole brought ALL my clothing, shoes, and accessories, but he’d also gutted our bathroom.  All my things, including our towels and washcloths, were carefully arranged, just as they had in our first home.  It boggles my mind that he remembered where everything had been placed, that he’d even kept the tiny crystal bobbles that weren’t useful, but I’d thought they were pretty enough to decorate with.  On top of the counter, lay a plush towel and beside it, clearly wanting to remind me of better days, sat the same baby doll nightie that I’d worn on our first night in our house.  

Taking my time, even after hearing him return to our rooms, I soaked in the deep bathtub.  I had so many questions.  The other women, for instance, where were they?  He mentioned that he hadn’t wanted to wash the linen from our bed for as long as possible, but did that mean that he’d been forced to because their perfume had covered my own?  This tub, was it where they’d soaked?  I knew, regardless of how much he wanted us to start over, or pretend that the redhead and then his multiple partners didn’t exist, I had to know more.  If only to make this work, I had to know how much of himself and OUR lives he’d given them.  

I braided my hair when I finally got out of the bathtub and dried off.  Then, as carefully as the first time I’d put the nightie on, I pulled it over my head and smiled at the fact that it still fit perfectly.  The panties, how certain I’d been that they were ruined, slid up my thighs as easily as once upon a time.  Taking a final look in the mirror, I saw the mark that his teeth had made on my neck and shook my head at how much and yet little he’d changed.  One final touch, a spritz of one of my favorite perfumes, and then I took a deep breath and opened the door separating us.  

He was staring out the window behind our living room chairs.  The leather jacket had been gone once we settled in for dinner, and Lucille was propped up next to the bed.  I took a  moment, brief though it was, to study Negan.  The jeans, the boots, the t-shirt, and God help me that scruff, had I ever really stopped loving him?  

“Penny for your thoughts,” he whispered, turning to face me, almost the entire room between us.  

I swallowed and felt my lips fall into an easy smile.  “‘The opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference.’”  I offered, and watched his brow furrowed in confusion.  “It’s a quote that just came to me,” still whispering, even though Trey was with my best friends on the other end of the floor.  “I thought I didn’t love you anymore, but that was stupid.”  He started toward me, careful and slow.  “I could never stop loving you,”  a huff of breath, “it’s the only constant in my life.”  

“I’m sorry, Amara,” he was directly in front of me, his fingers brushing my cheek, and I realized he was wiping away a tear that I hadn’t noticed falling.  “I will spend the rest of my fucking life proving how sorry I am, how much I-”

I reached up and stopped him with a finger on his lips.  “I know, Negan, I do.”  I sighed, and moved away from him, toward our sofa.  “Come here,”  he sat and I curled into his lap.  “I have questions, will you answer them?”  

“Anything,” he offered, and so I asked, and he answered.  

We spent hours hashing out what had happened, what would happen now, and where the other women were.  He seemed to truly understand that I NEEDED the reassurance that this wasn’t a whim, that he would be completely sated by having ONLY me and that he understood that I wouldn’t share him with anyone else.   Once we seemed to run through the litany of all of my fears, including whether they’d been in our bed (a ‘no’ so loud I worried that Eric would be busting down the door to make sure we were alright), or our bathroom (seriously, he was pretty fucking appalled by the thought of them being within touching range of anything that was MINE), he finally picked me up and carried me to our bed.

“If you want to just sleep tonight,” I could see how much the idea of lying next to me again, even without sex was something he yearned for as much as I did.  “Then that’s fine with me, sweetheart.”  

Looking up at him , I bit my lip.  “Negan, if you’re not naked and on top of me in the next-”

I’d never seen a grown man lose his clothing as fast as Negan did, his mouth locked on mine and then those panties I’d been so impressed hadn’t been ruined during the first wearing were ripped and toss somewhere behind him and then we were joined and I swore, as I arched into his body and he swallowed every noise I could hope to make, that I’d die before we were parted again.  

[ilovemygaydad]

Dance, Dance

Part Three: Fairy God-Patton

Based off this post that you really need to read for context!

Pairings: Analogical and Royality (past sleeplogical)

Characters: Virgil, Patton, Logan, Roman, Sleep/Remy, Deceit/Dominic, October/Toby, September/Ember

Warnings: domestic abuse, swearing, sexual humor, crude comments, bullying, making out, abusive deceit, mentions of vomiting (just one word), step parents, food mentions, and possibly something else

A/N: hey so i just wrote a ton on this bus ride to a comp so that’s fun so here have some stuff

Tags: @adultmorelikeadolt​ @disneyfanatic77​ @logan-smarter-than-you-sanders​ @punsterterry​ @mycatshuman​ @fluidityandgiggles @sadpunkrat @theunoriginaldaisy

Masterlist | Ask Blog | READ ON AO3

“Patton, I don’t think I’m going to go to the ball...” Virgil didn’t dare look up from where he was picking away at his nylon tights. He already knew the look that Patton was giving him; he didn’t need to see it.

“What?! Virge, I’ve been working on our dresses for two weeks! You can’t cancel on me the day of!”

“I know, but come on, Pat. It’s Valentine’s day, and we don’t even have dates. It would just be miserable. Guys don’t even know that I exist. At least you’re cute!”

The glare that Patton gave Virgil was hot enough to melt steel. He pushed himself off of his elbows and into a sitting position on Virgil’s bed. “It’s a masquerade! Nobody will know who you are, and you can just flirt with cute guys.”

“Oh my god,” Virgil sighed. “It’s even worse because it’s a masquerade! First of all, you can’t even tell which guys are cute because they’re, you know, wearing a mask.”

“Hush. Let me tell you how this will go. We go to the masquerade ball, and you’ll be able to just be you instead of a fabrication of yourself made by this lame-ass high school hierarchy! Not to mention that you don’t even have to worry about making a fool of yourself because no one will know who you are if you don’t want to reveal your identity. You’ll find some guy who can dance well and looks super hot, and it’ll be--”

Virgil cut him off with a laugh. “Patton, dude, we have got to practice you breathing during rants.”

“Don’t distract me. You’re going to the ball, and that’s final, kiddo.”

“Yeah, righ--shit! I forgot to start cleaning!” Virgil jumped up from his chair and ran out the door.

“Bye!”

“Daddy!” Toby screeched, walking into where Dominic was getting a massage. “We were on our way to get manicures--you know, for the ball?”

“And?”

“And I heard Virgl talking about going to the ball!”

Dominic pushed himself up slightly, looking at his twins. “Oh, no… That won’t do at all.”

“Make him clean my room!” Ember said.

“And my closet! I think something died in there,” added Toby.

“Oh, no. I have a very special place for him to clean…”

“Virgil!”

With a muted groan, Virgil glanced up at Dominic. He was dressed in that stupid yellow bathrobe that he wore after massages, and he had equally ugly slippers on his feet. Virgil fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Next week is the twins’ sixteenth birthday--”

“Wait, didn’t they turn sixteen last year?”

Dominic pursed his lips. “Yes, and they will continue to turn sixteen until I tell them to stop. Anyway, you need to have the menu in order by tomorrow so that I can approve it. Oh, and I’m going out clubbing with what’s-his-face tonight, and it’s my turn to throw the afterparty. We will be back by midnight, so I expect that this house will be absolutely spotless upon my return.”

“Dominic, I’ve cleaned every inch of this place.”

“Oh, no, you haven’t.” Dominic smirked. “You’re going to clean my bedroom. Follow me.”

If he hadn’t promised Patton that he’d stay alive through senior year, Virgil probably would have dropped dead that instant from sheer horror. Slowly, he pushed himself up; his feet numbly moved to follow Dominic up the stairs. In the ten years that he’d been living with Dominic, there hadn’t been a single instance where Virgil had gone into Dominic’s room. This was completely uncharted territory.

And, holy shit, it was awful.

Mounds of clothes in all shapes, sizes, and colors were scattered around the room. Old pizza boxes and take-out containers littered every surface, and, god, there was rancid food just laying on the floor. Natural light wouldn’t even filter through the blinds because they were so coated in dust, and the overhead lamp was barely any better. Virgil didn’t even know if this could be classified as a bedroom--it looked and smelled more like a dump.

“Dominic.” Virgil winced as his voice squeaked. “I’d need heavy equipment to clean this place. For example, a flamethrower and thirty gallons of bleach.”

“Don’t sass me, smarty pants! I can still take away your school privileges, too. You can say goodbye to those trendy little friends of yours. Or, should I say, friend, Mr. Not-So-Popular.” Dominic laughed at his joke and turned to leave, but he slipped on something and stumbled. A fucking fish stick. “Oh, and clean up these fish sticks. They’ve been here since Lent.” The door shut as he exited so violently that dust fluttered down from the ceiling fan like gray snow. Virgil sneezed.

“Gross.” While picking his way to the bed, Virgil examined the room. It was so much more disgusting up close than it was from the doorway. Gingerly, so that he wouldn’t accidentally touch anything that had the possibility of killing him, he sat down and picked up the phone, dialing Patton’s number.

“Hey, kiddo! How’s it going?”

“Pat, I can’t go to the ball. Dominic’s making me clean his room tonight, and there’s no way I’ll get done in time.”

“Oh my god,” Patton’s words were slightly jumbled, and Virgil was pretty sure that he was eating a cookie. “You’re in his lair?!”

“Dude, there are species of bugs in here still unknown to science. It’ll take me days to get this done--not even including whatever hell Dominic puts me through for not getting it all clean tonight.”

“I think I have an idea--” Patton was cut off by a click.

“Hello? Virgil, when I said no phone, I meant the landline, too!”

Virgil panicked, not wanting to bear any more punishment. “Sorry! Pat, I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you on Monday.”

The phone slammed down on the dock with far more force than Virgil expected, and he flinched back. Something sticky and wet was suddenly under his hand. Gulping, he looked back and saw melted chocolate all over the silk sheets. Virgil felt lucky that it wasn’t some expired pizza, but it was still not ideal.

With a sigh, Virgil stood up to gather an entire cleaning service worth of supplies.

The doorbell rang at around nine thirty. Virgil had barely made a dent in the mess, and he’d honestly resorted to just throwing everything into garbage bins to burn. Eight of them were full already. Eight.

Virgil opened the door. “Patton! Hey, how are--Patton, please don’t tell me that those are our dresses.”

“Sorry. They are!” Patton smiled unapologetically.

“Dude, I can’t go. End of story.”

“What if I could tell you that you could go to the ball, and the room would be completely clean when you get back?”

Virgil paused, looking quizzically at Patton. “I’d say that you’re amazing, but, Pat, you can’t stay here and clean alone. That wouldn’t be fair to you.”

Patton’s grin widened. “Who said that I was alone?” He stepped out of the way, and three adults came into view. One was tall with purple hair similar to Virgil’s, the next was slightly shorter with a bright orange beanie, and the last was adorably short with colorful hair. “Virgil, meet my cousin’s boyfriend and his friends. They own a cleaning company, and were nice enough to help. Guys, meet Virgil.”

The tall one spoke up, smiling sweetly. “Oh, you’re going to the ball? That’s awesome!”

Virgil nodded as Patton spoke again. “We sure are! Thomas, Joan, and Talyn are going to clean for you. They’re the sweetest, really. Well, they’re super weird, but they’re nice, too.”

The one in the beanie scoffed. “Yeah, as if you aren’t any better! Plus, Thomas is pretty normal.” They nudged the smaller one. “Talyn is pretty weird, though. They don’t really have anything to say otherwise.” Talyn punched Joan on the shoulder in retaliation, but they both laughed.

Virgil smiled as he watched what was happening. As much as it hurt to see such a healthy, family-like dynamic, he was really happy that Patton had such wonderful people in his life. As soon as the bantering died off, he showed the cleaning crew upstairs. Just before he opened the doors to the bedroom, Virgil glanced back. “It’s a mess in there. I’m just warning you now.”

“Oh, that’s alright!” Thomas said. “Our motto is ‘there’s no mess that’s too messy!’”

Virgil shrugged and opened the doors. Bins lined the walls, and most of the mountains of dirty clothes still remained. It looked the same--if not worse--as it did when Virgil had started six hours earlier.

“Holy shmokes. That… That’s too messy, Patton.”

“Thomas, you promised!” Patton threw on his best puppy eyes, and Thomas all but groaned in complacency. “Thanks! I love you!” In a flash, he grabbed Virgil’s hand and sprinted out of the bedroom to Virgil’s room in the pool house.

“Geez, Pat, slow down!”

“I can’t! We’ve got to get ready!” The door to Virgil’s room slammed shut behind them, and with shining eyes, Patton held out one of the clothes bags. “Get dressed. We’re going to that ball.”

Part Four

[nashbashwithshells-blog]

God, people can suck. Like really suck.

When I look back at the beginning of that relationship, I see this 20-year-old girl lost in the midst of college. Moving into my first apartment, trying to figure out what I wanted my life to look like and probably developing some questionable drinking habits. I was young, never been in a “real” relationship, naive, and definitely a people-pleaser. On top of that, I had this very college-girl mindset that I had to be an adult and prepare for life after graduation and find a guy and find a job and get married, the whole nine yards. Looking back on it now, it’s like shit. Everything really was set up so perfectly for him.

The beginning of the relationship wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. In fact, I would say it was pretty great. We started dating right before the summer between our junior and senior year. I remember how excited I was when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I could barely contain myself. I spent at least every other weekend out at his house in Holly, Michigan through that first summer. We went to the Detroit Zoo, we went to cute little diners for dates, we took walks together, we went on day trips to Frankfurt, Michigan, and when we couldn’t see each other, we’d talk on the phone for hours and send each other stupid gifs back and forth all day. It was like it was out of a storybook and yea, I was pretty happy.

But when we moved back to college for our senior year, it was like things slowly, slowly started to change. The first sign of an abusive relationship is isolation. The abusive partner starts to isolate the other to keep them from confiding in friends and family about the abuse. I mean, it’s not like he woke up on day and said “Alright, so this is the part of the relationship where I isolate you from your family and friends so I’m gonna need you to cut off all contact with anyone other than me and my friends.” Instead, it was a very gradual process over the course of time. In fact, it happened so slowly that I didn’t even notice it was happening right before my eyes. It started with me spending almost every single night at his house instead of my apartment. This then started to affect my relationship with my roommate, who I now never saw. Next, it became my friends. Each friend he had a perfectly orchestrated reason or lie as to why I could no longer hang out with them. Sometimes it was “She’s not your real friend if she doesn’t approve of me.” Other times it was “I heard her say she doesn’t want to hang out with you anymore in class today.” Each one, I believed. Why wouldn’t I believe him? He had never betrayed my trust before. This was the same guy that wrote those thoughtful cards on my birthday and on Valentine’s day and the same guy that surprised me with a cute dinner date after my midterm exam. He was just looking out for me, right? The funny thing about this part of the relationship was that I was 100% allowed to spend time with his friends and the people in his friend group. He had already tricked them into thinking that he was this charming, loving friend of theirs and he knew that if I ever spoke up to one of them, they likely wouldn’t believe me (which I later found to be true). Even when he would yell at me in his bedroom while our friends were downstairs or he would publicly degrade me and belittle me in front of his friends, they would brush it off as just “Josh being Josh.”

This is also kind of when things started to get messy in bed too. This guy wanted to have sex almost every night. I mean, at least four nights a week. Let me be clear here: he never brutally raped or used physical force in bed with me. But he also made it very clear to me that it was not okay for me to say “no.” This is when I first started to see the aggressive side of him that I became so painfully familiar with in the following months. If I said no to sex, he became furious and would spend the remainder of the night accusing me not finding him attractive and blamed me for his insecurities and degrade me in front of his friends for saying no to him. He would go on for days if he had to until I would finally give in. The message became crystal clear to me. If I said no to him, I would pay for it and so I quickly learned that this just wasn’t an option. Or sometimes if I said no to him as he tried to start things with me or even right before we were about to have sex, he would pretend he didn’t hear me or just completely disregard the comment. When I look back on this, I just feel this intense level of discomfort take over my entire body. I can feel it in my toes, in my chest, in my thighs, in my stomach. God, it just sucks. So anyways, back to the isolation part.

Then, it came my family. This one was definitely the hardest for him and this is where a lot of the controlling part of this relationship comes into play too, so buckle up. My grandpa died in February so the beginning of our second semester of senior year. Talk about poor timing, right? You see, my grandma had made it very clear that she didn’t want any of the grandchildren’s significant other’s to attend my grandpa’s funeral and we were all pretty much in agreement to this. None of them had even met my grandpa, so why would they drive all the way out to St. Clair, MI to attend his funeral? Well, Josh certainly didn’t agree with this. He completely twisted it around that my family didn’t want him in their lives and they weren’t welcoming him into the family. Josh very quickly made it known that I wasn’t allowed to see my family unless he told me I could. From here on out, he always had a say in when I saw my family and for how long I saw my family. I even remember one instance about a month or two after my grandpa’s funeral that he told me I couldn’t go home to see my family. My family and I had planned a fun weekend together filled with going out to dinner, going to the movies, spending time together, and even going to a basketball game. It was going to be the first time together as a family since my grandpa’s funeral and likely one of the last time together before I made the move to Nashville after graduation. The point is, this weekend meant a lot to me and he knew that. So naturally, he took it away. I remember sitting on his bed in tears as he yelled at me for wanting to leave him all alone at college while I went home and that it was horrible for me to not invite him and that I wasn’t enjoying my last few weeks at college like I should. Somehow, I always ended up being the one apologizing. I remember sitting in his bed and calling my mom in front of him to tell her I couldn’t come home because he “didn’t trust me enough” to call her later on my own. This is definitely one of the more heartbreaking phone calls I’ve had to make. It was like with each and every day, he drove a bigger and bigger wedge between me and my family. Sometimes I feel like moving to Nashville was just all apart of this plan. 

So. May finally comes and off we go to Nashville. If I could go back and tell myself that this was going to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life, I would. But even if there was a massive billboard outside my apartment that read “Don’t Move to Tennessee” I still would’ve gone. I was so blindsided by the glory of graduating and moving to Nashville and moving in with my boyfriend. Little did I know that the hardest eight months of my life lied ahead of me. My new norm became not being able to spend time with friends I had made at work, not being able to call my mom when I was around him, not being able to talk to any of the guys at work, not being able to go home and see my family. I remember when he would come home from a long day at work, he would find something, just something to get mad at me for. And every time, I believed him and I apologized and I genuinely felt guilty for ever doing something to make him this mad. I had never felt like such a shit human being in my entire life. He made me feel like I did absolutely everything wrong and I was so lucky to have him and often found myself wondering why he put up with me all the time. Looking back at this truly makes me feel sick to my stomach. How did I ever let it get this far? I remember one night locking myself in the bathroom in our apartment as he yelled at me (for God knows what). I still to this day have never felt so genuinely scared of another human being. I mean, he was a big guy, he grew up on a farm and I was just this 140-something-pound girl that has zero way of defending herself. 

I don’t know what it was that final day that made me leave him. It’s not like there was an massive argument going on or anything. Just something in my brain clicked. Still to this day, I don’t know what it was that made me wake up that day and say “I’m breaking up with him” but God, am I glad I did. From that day on, I’ve truly never looked back with regret or guilt and that’s something I’m incredibly grateful for. I’ve never once thought about going back and I never will. But I gotta say, those first few months out of the relationship were far from easy and my fight was far from over. It’s not like I just ended the relationship and all my problems were gone. In a lot of ways, a lot of my problems were just beginning. Those two months I had to live with him after we broke up were just plain shit. I slept at my friend’s apartments and when that wasn’t an option, I’d sleep in my car in the Walmart parking lot (which is still something I’ve never really told anyone, oops). I remember dreading leaving work because it meant having to find somewhere else to go. I’d work from 6:15 in the morning and stay until 5:00 at night because I just truly didn’t have anywhere to go. With that being said, I was still paying rent and I did still shower in my apartment before Josh would return home from work and all of my clothes were still in that apartment. But the thought of having to face Josh truly terrified me. In those two months, when I would be around him, he never actually hit me. He’d grab me, throw things at me, yell me at me and threaten to hit me but he never actually hit me. If I didn’t sleep on my friend’s couches or I didn’t sleep in my car, I think that would’ve been a very different story. I remember some nights when I would see him (mostly in the few days right after the break-up), I never knew which Josh to expect to walk in the door. I could get a furious Josh that had veins popping out of his forehead and got noise complaints called on us from his yelling OR I could get the Josh that would cry and promise change if I came back and even swore he would kill himself if he had to be without me. I still don’t know which one was worse. 

Once I finally moved back to Ann Arbor, I was hopeful. I thought “Ok, now all of my problems have ended.” But again, most of my problems were just beginning. At this time, I was still (yes, STILL), in denial of the fact that I had been in an abusive relationship. (I know, I know.) There’s still so much of it that I’m working through but I’m making progress nonetheless. After a year and a half of being blamed for everything and for being the root of all the problems in a relationship, it’s hard to go back and unpack everything and make the realization that maybe it wasn’t all my fault. Let me rephrase that, it’s hard as hell. Going to a therapist in Ann Arbor has been one of the better decisions I’ve made for myself since moving back here. There’s so many things from that relationship that I just truly don’t want to tell anyone in my life. My friends and family are just so much better off not knowing or maybe just knowing the very surface level stuff. Seeing a therapist has helped me keep all of it from getting bottled up in my head. I’ve felt so many emotions unpacking that relationship. I’ve felt anger, regret, sadness, anger, depression, anger. Did I mention anger?

I feel like I’m getting there though. I’m getting through to the other side of this shit show. I’m finally starting to feel like I can see the light on the other end of this miserable, fucked up part of my life, which is definitely something to be grateful for. Sometimes I think about what life would have been like if I didn’t wake up that one day in October and decide to break up with him but I’m damn grateful that I’ll never know.