#every time i do research on cigarettes i think “i could really get into this”

[eightofpents]

In the 14 years that Emilie and Adrien were both alive, Gabriel did not smoke.

Nathalie thought Emilie thought she didn't either.

(don't smoke kids. it is cool but it's not worth it.)

[starry-bi-sky]

Childhood Friends Danny and Jason

(cw underage smoking / smoking as a form of bonding) (cw Jason thinking Danny killed himself but its only for a moment) (cw depictions of murderous intent? Danny wants to murder the Joker and he's a little descriptive about it)

Now on ao3 :) (and with a response and a third one)

AND ALSO A REMASTERED VERSION THAT YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GO CHECK OUT BECAUSE I WORKED VERY HARD ON IT.

This is… aha. Massive. Word count check: 9k+

this has probably been done before but hey, everyone loves a good trope and I wanted to share my take on this idea. 👏👏 So, Danny Fenton and Jason Todd being childhood friends. The Fentons lived in Crime Alley for a good long while during Danny's childhood. Nobody wanted to fund their research and Jack and Maddie struggled to keep any form of work for a multitude of reasons. Jack worked in construction due to his big build and Maddie had another job elsewhere.

Danny and Jason were friends during that time, really great friends. I'm not super solid on how they met yet but I do know it involves Danny committing petty crime and Jason deciding to jump in and help when he sees Danny struggling. Danny was distrustful (as all crime alley kids ought to be) but they eventually became thick as thieves, committing petty crime together.

While it's all too easy to make Danny the weaker one of the two with Jason protecting him, I actually really like the idea that they protected each other. Growing up (essentially) on the streets means Danny forcibly had to grow a backbone unless he wanted to get trampled all over. He is just as willing to scuffle with the bigger kids as Jason is, and he and Jason regularly fought each other whenever they needed to let off steam, or just because. They were a duo, having each other's backs in tough situations.

(Sometimes the pair of them would sneak out at night and try and get a glimpse of Batman and Robin while they soared through the air. It was like a game between the two of them to see who could spot the dynamic duo first. When they were a little older, Jason would steal his dad's cigarettes and share them with Danny while they searched for Batman and Robin)

So when Danny has to move away when they're eleven years old, it's pretty safe to say that Jason didn't speak to him for a week afterwards. Nothing Danny did could persuade him to otherwise, even when Danny insisted that it wasn't his fault and that he didn't want to move away either, but he didn't have a choice in the matter.

When the week was over, Jason climbed through Danny's window and sat in his room, dead silent and looking upset. he didn't speak until Danny fished out a stolen pack of cigarettes from his bed and handed one to Jason.

(It was a ritual they had where if one of them was upset about something but wasn't saying anything, the other one could then hand them a cigarette -- whether it be the one they were using or a new one -- and that would be an open invitation for the person to vent. The other one who handed him the cigarette wouldn't speak until the venter handed back the cigarette. Then back and forth it would go until the cigarette was gone.)

Jason ranted about how pissed he was about Danny moving, and they promised to try and stay in touch after he leaves. Neither of them had phones, but Danny was determined to send him a letters.

Danny moves to Amity Park and it's... an adjustment, that's for sure. He's angry, grumpy, upset, and every other negative feeling under the sun. He was going to a new middle school with new people he didn't know, away from all of the people he did know and away from his best friend.

(He does however keep his word about sending letters, and mails one out to Jason at the first opportunity.)

He refuses to get along with anyone, butts heads with the teachers, is combative, rude, and openly smokes in class -- which gets him plenty of detentions and a bad reputation. He speaks in a thick Gotham street accent and wears hand-me-down clothes that are too big and baggy on him. (His parents have yet to replace any of their wardrobes as they settle into their new life, and Danny is hesitant to spend the money to get new clothes.)

He only manages to befriend Sam and Tucker because one of the football kids was bullying Tucker and Danny stepped in. It was some blond jerk named Dash and when Dash threw the first punch, Danny broke his nose. Tucker found him later that day and reluctantly thanked him for his help.

Sam and Danny do not get along for the longest time. Sam questions Danny about his upbringing, his accent, his smoking. She judges him for talking back to the teachers despite doing it herself and for ruining his lungs with cigarettes. Danny tells her to fuck off, and when she tries to judge him and Tucker for not being vegetarian, he calls her a privileged brat.

Sam doesn't even look at him for two weeks after, and Danny refuses to apologize. Tucker is caught between a rock and a hard place as his old friend and new friend are feuding with each other.

They... sort it out eventually.

Danny and Jason send each other letters near religiously. Danny complains about Amity Park, and Jason complains about how Crime Alley isn't the same without him. Danny talks about the school and what he's learned, about Sam and Tucker, and how he's been getting into the astronomy books in the library. He steals Jason a book and sends it to him.

When Jason tells Danny that he was adopted by Bruce Wayne, Danny calls bullshit. There's no fucking way Bruce Wayne would even look at Crime Alley, regardless of his charity efforts towards it. But when he checks Gotham news later that week, he's hit in the face with every single news article announcing Bruce Wayne's newest ward; Jason Todd.

Cue freaking out. Jason talks all about living in Wayne Manor and what it's like there. He says that there's a monster library in a part of the house that Bruce says he has free reign over, and that Jason can have anything to eat as long as he asks Alfred to make it and it isn't a desert, and that he has his own monster-sized room that he got to pick out himself and decorate.

(When they both get phones, the first thing either of them do is add each other's numbers.)

When Sam complains about having to go to a Wayne Gala that her parents are dragging her to one weekend, the first thing Danny asks is if he can go with. It surprises Sam and Tucker; Danny was the last person they would have thought wanted to go with. HE hates the rich even more than Sam does. Danny stands firm in his decision, and refuses to elaborate.

"Besides." He says to Sam, with whom he's begun to get along with via 'the enemy of my enemy is a friend'. "Would you rather go alone or with someone you can tolerate?"

She brings him with and convinces her parents to allow Danny to come along, citing that she'll be on her best behavior if they do. They agree, and buy Danny a suit when he says that he doesn't have one of his own.

(He discovers that he hates wearing suit jackets and ties, but vests he doesn't mind. He doesn't like that he has to comb his hair back, but he does to make Sam's parents happy. They give him a crash course in etiquette that Danny's going to forget the next day, and soon enough off they go in a private jet to Gotham)

(he does not tell Jason he's coming.)

he feels mischievous and nervous as they touch down, his stomach swirling as Sam's parents usher them to a high-profile hotel that Danny's only ever dreamed about going into. He feels largely out of place as they walk through the lobby, and falls back on old habits: square shoulders, set jaw, make yourself look like the biggest person in the room.

They get ready in the hotel room, Sam's parents primp and preen for the night incoming, and Sam is dragged into it by her mother. Danny does only what's required of him, and fiddles with the sleeves of his fresh-ironed button-down that's been tailored to his body. He's itching for a cigarette, and didn't bring any with.

Sam's dad helps him with his tie, a bout of kindness that Danny doesn't think is one. Just obligation to prevent Danny from looking like a mess. Sam pesters him again about wanting to come, and his reasons for it, and Danny keeps mum.

He's stone-faced with anxiety as they get closer to the gala, and before they leave the limousine the Mansons rented Sam links arms with him. A form of solidarity that Danny needs as he squeezes their arms together and smiles weakly at her.

The paparazzi are loud, bright, and demanding, shouting questions over questions at them like overlapping tidal waves. Danny ignores them all and focuses on the front doors instead. Sam's parents whisper at the stairs that they are to greet the Waynes first, and Danny's heart leaps to his throat.

His heart is in his ears as they drift closer, Mister Wayne is preoccupied with another rich couple, smiling that charming billionaire smile that Danny saw on every billboard in Gotham, and then some in Amity Park. Getting so close to him feels unreal.

And there by his side is the one and only Jason Todd, who isn't even trying to hide the bored look on his face as he watches Bruce interact with the other adults. He's gotten taller in the year they've been away, and healthier. His hair looks like its been cut professionally and he doesn't look as street kid skinny.

Danny's arm, hooked with Sam's, tightens up, and he resists the urge to rush forward and hug Jason. He watches Jason's eyes sweep left, away from him, and then right, towards him. The air stills for a moment as their eyes lock.

Danny grins toothily at him, lopsided and playful in nature, and sees the moment Jason processes the sight before him. His arm starts slipping out of Sam's at the same time as an ecstatic smile stretches across Jason's face.

His lopsided grin fills out on the other end. "DANNY!" Jason yells, cutting off whatever Bruce Wayne and startling everyone within earshot. There's barely a moment for Bruce to look down when Jason shoves past him and runs at Danny.

Danny yanks his arm out of Sam's, "JASON!" He yells with just as much enthusiasm, and Jason nearly topples them right over when he collides with Danny. His arms wrap around Danny's shoulders, holding onto him tightly, and they're both laughing, spinning around like tops out of joy.

"You didn't tell me you were coming!" Jason cries, sounding accusing. Danny hugs him just as tightly, and laughs when Jason pulls away momentarily to punch his shoulder.

"I wanted it to be a surprise!" He defends, laughing between words as their spinning comes to a stop. They're both reluctant to pull apart, but they do and clutch the sleeves of their elbows tightly. "How could my best friend be adopted by the Bruce Wayne and have me not come confirm it with my own two eyes?"

"I sent you newspaper clippings!" Jason says, narrowing his eyes while his smile betrays his face. Danny quietly notices that his Gotham street accent is faded slightly.

"Oh that's what it was?" Danny's grin turns again, edging into a smirk. He feigns innocence, "I thought that was fire kindling." He has the newspaper clippings hung on the corkboard in his room, proud beyond words about his best friend.

Jason punches him in the shoulder again, hard enough to leave a bruise. "You jackass." He says, ignoring Danny's laughter even when he's holding back his own.

There's a soft, sharp clearing of someone's throat, breaking their attentions away from each other to the one that made the noise.

Bruce Wayne was a tall man, taller than Danny expected, and he looks exactly like his billboards. If less promiscuous than his perfume ads. Danny expects him to be upset with them both for disrupting his pretty rich gala, but instead he just looks gently amused, with an arched eyebrow. Overall though, he just looks fond.

Danny would be the first to admit that Bruce had taken in Jason as a charity case, something to fill the void after his other kid Dick Grayson finally moved out. But Danny’s a good judge of character — or he likes to assume he is — and those are not the eyes of a man who would take Jason in as a charity case. Those are the eyes of a man who actually, genuinely, cares about one Jason Todd.

The wriggly protective thing settles in his chest.

He doesn’t let go of Jason, but he does twist his smile into something a little more polite. Mister Wayne’s eyebrow arches higher, and he turns his blue-blue eyes onto Jason. “Who’s this, Jason?” He has that fancy Gotham Elite accent -- something that sounds like a mix between old transatlantic and faintly British -- that Danny's only heard in passing when he and Jason snuck up to the nicer parts of Gotham.

Jason stares at Mister Wayne, his grip on Danny tightens as his eyes flick to the other onlookers in the room. “This is Danny, B.” He says once his eyes turn back to Mister Wayne. “We grew up in Crime Alley together, he moved to Illinois last year."

Danny can see the uncomfortable expressions cross every rich person's face, murmurs sweeping across the room as soon their uncomfortable gazes turned judgmental and flinty. He's kept track of the tabloids after Jason's adoption, the ones calling him a charity case and looking down on him for being a street kid.

He inches a little closer to Jason, straightening up instinctively, as if they were back in Crime Alley and facing a pack of kids that didn't like them. He can see Sam's surprised expression from the corner of his eye -- he never told Tucker or Sam about where he grew up, although he's sure they had their suspicions.

He looks back to Mister Wayne and meets his blue-blue eyes, his smile has slowly begun to fade. Mister Wayne doesn't miss a beat however, and his smile stays plastered to his face. If anything, it gets a little softer, a little wider. "It's nice to meet you Danny -- Daniel? I'm so glad that Jason has a friend here." He holds out a hand.

Danny eyes him unsurely, and then takes his hand. "It's jus' Danny, Mister Wayne." He says, some of his old accent slipping through as he shook his hand firmly. He would have done it harder, but this was Jason's new guardian, and from Jason's letters he didn't sound too bad. "It's, uh, nice to meet you too. Jason's told me lots about you."

Mister Wayne's brows jump momentarily, he looks intrigued. He looks between Danny and Jason, and claps his hands together softly. "Well, Jay, how would you like to stay with Danny for a while, hm? I'm sure you too have a lot to catch up on."

Hope simmers in Danny's heart, and he glances to Jason to see that same hope on his face. "Really?" He asks, and Mister Wayne nods with a laugh.

"Of course! How could I keep two friends apart? Go on ahead, chum. I'll come get you when the gala ends."

And just like that, Bruce Wayne leaves Jason with Danny, diving back into a conversation with one of the rich gothamites and taking the attention with it as if he were the sun and everyone else a planet orbiting him.

Danny and Jason share grins, and throw their arms around each other with laughter. Danny is on cloud nine, pressing his nose into Jason's shoulder and breathing him in, fingers digging into the back of his suit hard enough to leave wrinkles in his jacket.

Sam demands answers when they finally, for real this time, pull apart. Why didn't he tell her that he was friends with Jason Todd!? Danny slings his arm around Jason's shoulders and keeps him close, and tells her that it was because he wanted it to be a surprise.

Sam's parents have unreadable expressions on their faces, part greed -- Danny is their in to the elusive Bruce Wayne -- and part disdain -- a Gotham street rat. Danny ignores them, they're unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

He introduces Sam to Jason, and Jason to Sam. And off they go to a corner of the room near the buffet table where they can eat and shit talk everyone else in the room in peace.

At some point in the night Sam is called back to her parents to meet some other fancy rich kids her parents want her to get along with, and Danny and Jason go off to the west end balcony to avoid anyone who may try and approach the new Gotham ward.

Danny hops up onto the balcony railing, kicking his feet as Jason pulls a cigarette pack out of his inner jacket pocket, and grins. "Don't tell Bruce," he says, handing the box to Danny first. "He's been trying to get me to quit."

"Hah!" Danny takes one just as Jason slips out a lighter. "That sounds like Jazz. She's been trying to get me to stop since we moved to Amity." Granted, she's been trying ever since she found out before they moved, but now she was even more insistent. "She hasn't found my stash yet."

At the end of the night when the Mansons are leaving and Danny has to leave with them, he walks back to Mister Wayne with Jason to tell him that he's leaving. Mister Wayne mourns his going, and tells him that he's always able to come visit.

"Any friend of Jason's is always welcome to the manor." He says with a blinding grin, pulling Jason close to his side and squeezing him tight. Jason's nose scrunches up, but he doesn't push away.

It becomes a new routine for them. The Mansons are all too happy to bring him with to the Wayne Galas (of which they start receiving more invites to due to their connection with Danny) and Danny is all too happy to spend the evening with Jason again. No matter what, they always end up on the balcony at some point in the night.

And, eventually, Danny is invited to stay at Wayne Manor either for a weekend or for a break. He jumps at the chance when winter break rolls around and his parents start their debate over Santa Claus again.

Danny and Jason stay up late into the night talking or playing video games during their sleepovers, and in the warmer nights they climb out and onto the roof to stargaze. Danny points out constellations - - things he can find in neither Gotham or Amity -- and rambles on and on about space.

There are plenty of times during the Wayne Galas that the event gets attacked by a rogue. More often than he'd like he loses Jason in the crowd, and has later stopped Robin or Batman in his panic to find him.

The first time it happened, he was in tears with terror. He grabbed onto Batman's cape, stopping the man from going back in as he babbled that his Jason Todd was still inside, that he disappeared during the chaos and he couldn't find him. Batman took his hands and calmly told him that he'd find Jason for him, and that he was sure he was okay, but he needed to calm down.

He found Jason later once everything had calmed down, and he screamed at him for disappearing during a rogue attack, if he ever did it again he'll kill him. Then he cried.

The second time it happened, Danny didn't even realize that Jason was gone until everything was already over. They'd been separated before the attack happened. He stopped Robin and Batman before they could leave, trying to keep his breathing under control as he asked again, if they had seen Jason Todd.

"That- that asshole keeps fucking ditching me when these things happen." His voice has an embarrassing wobble in it. "Please-- please tell me you've seen him, that he's alright."

Robin this time steps up to reassure him, that Jason Todd was out of the building. He got him out. "He's probably looking for you too, uhhh..."

"Danny" Danny says, and eyes him up and down. "You're the new Robin right?"

Robin stilled up, and Danny could understand it a little. He'd seen the thoughts on the new Robin online. He wasn't very popular at first. Robin nods curtly, and Batman was shuffled a little closer to him, almost protectively.

Danny grins at him. "Cool." He says, "Me and Jay used to sneak out onto the rooftops sometimes to try and spot Batman and the first Robin, we made it a game." He holds out a fistbump, "Thanks for doing what you do, man. I might not live in Gotham anymore, but I mean it. You're a living legend."

Robin looks like there's something stuck in his throat, and after a beat he returns the fistbump tentatively. "Th- uh, thanks." He stumbles out awkwardly, and then turns away, "Me and B- uh, better go."

Before Danny could even respond, Robin already had his grapple in hand and was grappling away. "You too, Batman." Danny says before Batman can follow.

When Danny sees Jason after that, and weight lifts off his chest and he hits him in the arm again. And then complains that he should have gotten Batman and Robin's autograph, it would have been epic.

By the fifth time it happens, Danny is cussing up a storm when Robin saves him, cursing out Jason and claiming that he needs to put that boy on a fucking leash. "We're a duo!" He scowls when Robin gets him outside, "I got his back, he has mine! I can't have his back when he's got no back to fucking have."

The eighth time it happens, Danny gets held hostage by one of the henchmen. He's become a recognizable friend of the Waynes, and when the Waynes are nowhere to be found, then the next best thing was up to offer. Danny isn't even mad this time around -- just relieved that Jason was fucking off somewhere where he couldn't get hurt.

Robin, however, seemed furious when he arrived, and broke the hostager's jaw with a single flying kick to the face. Jason found him rapidly quick soon after the situation had settled, and apologized over and over again.

Danny slings an arm around his shoulder and laughs that it was fine, Robin saved the day! His legs were shaking with the worn off adrenaline, something he tried to hide from Jason. "I'm just glad it was me instead of you, Jay." He grins. Jason looks like he swallowed a toad.

Jason stops disappearing as often after that, sticking close to Danny's side until the attack was over.

When Danny is fourteen, Jason dies, and his world unravels.

He calls the manor on a late night in April after Jason had stopped responding to his texts. Danny knew that Jason was just recently in a fight with Bruce, but he knows that Bruce loves Jason. He would know where he is, right?

When he calls, Bruce answers with a hoarse "hello?" as if he'd been crying all day, and Danny's blood turns to ice. The anxiety he'd been feeling beforehand doubles in size, and he feels himself stammering.

"Mister- uh- Mister Wayne? Um, I'm calling because Jason--" he hears Bruce inhale sharply on the other line, and his anxiety skyrockets into fear. "--hasn't been answering any of my texts and- and I'm gettin' real worried."

There's silence on the other end, and Danny feels a rock forming in his throat, gross and heavy like he was on the verge of throwing up. "Mister- Bruce? Mister B?"

There's a shaky breath, and then Bruce's voice crackles through the phone. "Um-- Jason, he, he's--" there's a sound like rustling, "he's been killed."

Danny's vision whites out with skyrocketing terror, his mind skidding to a stop. His body rapidly grows hot, and then chills, like a blacksmith striking a heated weapon. "What?"

When the phone call ends, Danny screams himself hoarse. Jazz and his parents come running into his room, his parents equipped with ghost weapons. Instead, they find Danny curled up in his bed, sobbing hoarsely.

Danny almost -- almost -- refuses to attend the funeral, nearly paralyzed with grief. Jazz coaxes him to go, to find closure if anything else, and he drags himself out of bed to go.

He feels numb the entire time. It's closed casket, so he can't even see him for one last time before Jason is buried in the ground. He's silent, and if he think he looks bad, then Bruce looks even worse, like he hadn't slept since Jason died and worse.

Danny grabs his sleeve before he leaves, and when Bruce turns to him with a dull look in his once vibrant eyes, he clings to him tightly. And cries. Bruce clings back just as tight, Danny feels tears drip into his hair.

"Who did it." Danny whispers, voice too hurt to speak any louder, when he pulls back. His fingers curl around Bruce's jacket tightly, desperately. His eyes hurt with tears. "You said he was murdered, B. Please, who did it."

Bruce looks down at him, and for the first time it really does feel like he's looking down at him. His face is blank, and his eyes close in grief. There is no answer, a silent no.

Danny's face twists up all ugly like, and he shakes Bruce's jacket. "Bruce, please. Tell me who did it."

Bruce refuses, his face full of grief.

Danny never returns to Gotham.

Prior to Jason's death and post their reunion, Danny had slowly begun to improve in school. He started caring more, he was putting in more effort, he was doing his homework and was actually enjoying class. There was the bullying from Dash and the A-Listers, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle, he was ignoring them for the most part.

Come Monday after the funeral, and Danny breaks Dash's nose when he starts up with his shit. He withdrew into himself, and it was like he was back to square one again, except this time it was much worse.

Everyone knew Danny was close friends with Jason Todd. So when news of his death finally reached the ears of Amity Park, the students of Casper High School kept their distance.

That following Friday, Danny dies in the portal and comes back. A month later he becomes Phantom, the ghost-fighting ghost. the ghost Phantom wears his hazmat suit partially undone, showing a tanktop he didn't wear in death under the initial suit while the sleeves are tied around his waist. Vicious, glowing lichtenburg scars travel up his arm and neck and torso, covering half of his face while a pair of scientist-like goggles covers his eyes. He's bitter and angry, showing off his death.

Look at me, Phantom's form says, I am a dead child. Look at me look at me look at me. Mourn me. I am a dead child. LOOK AT ME. MOURN ME.

A few weeks later he enters the ghost zone and realizes that he could find Jason. And he spends a weekend scouring the ghost zone for him. He finds Gotham in the zone, and rather than finding Jason, he finds Robin.

Danny didn't know he'd died. And he flies towards him, asks him if he's seen Jason, reveals that it's him, Danny Fenton. Robin stares at him, mouth agape, and peels off his mask to reveal Jason Todd.

They both cry, and when Danny tells him how he died, Jason looks pale in the face. "You didn't- you didn't kill yourself because of me, did you?"

Danny fervently denies it. No, no. He didn't, he didn't. It was an accident. Totally unrelated. But enough about that, what the hell happened? Bruce wouldn't tell him anything at the funeral.

Jason clams up, his ghostly face losing its color, and Danny curses himself. He tells Jason that he doesn't have to tell him, he doesn't have to say anything. They sit in silence.

"It was the Joker." Jason says.

That's all Danny needs to know. He nods quietly. 'I'll kill him.' He thinks to himself, a stubborn set in his jaw. "Okay."

It had always been a plan; a thought wriggling in the back of Danny's mind ever since Bruce told him that Jason had been killed.

Not died. Killed.

Danny wanted the fucker dead the moment he realized it. He just needed to know who did it. He thinks Bruce knew it too, could probably see it in his eyes the moment Danny asked him who did it. He isn't sure if he should hate Bruce more for keeping it from him now.

They spend hours together, just soaking in each other's presence. Danny tries to take him through the ghost portal, to bring him back to the land of the living. But much like Kitty, Jason's form is tied to the zone. Danny promises to visit every day.

And he does. Or he tries to. The grief doesn't go away, but with the comfort of knowing that Jason was on the other side, Danny feels a little better. He tells Jason about being Phantom, and Jason helps train him. It feels like they're kids again and are fighting just because they want to. Its a bout of familiarity in a place that feels unfamiliar. All they need are cigarettes.

And then six months later he loses him again. Danny scours the ghost zone for him for the second time, and this time he doesn't find him.

His haunt is still in the zone though. He didn't move on. He's still here, somewhere.

Danny is convinced that Jason was in the Elsewhereness, and looks for him in between ghost fights and his social life. He visits Jason's haunt every day, knowing that Jason should be able to feel when another ghost enters his home. He does not show up.

(He never thinks that Jason came back to life, and Jason doesn't remember his time in the ghost zone)

When Danny is nineteen, Vlad Masters blackmails him into going to another Wayne Gala. Begrudgingly, Danny goes. He's taller than he used to be, having inherited his dad's monstrous height and his mom's leanness. He has piercings, some of them he got after a lost bet from Sam and Tucker, and he's given himself an undercut.

He still prefers vests over suit jackets, and he still smokes. A little less than before, he sneaks a pack into his pocket before he leaves, along with a lighter. Vlad gives him a dirty look the whole time - he knows.

"Don't give me that look." "That stuff kills, you know" "I'm already dead."

It's like deja vu when he arrives; an awful bout of deja vu, that is. The paparazzi is still as bright and loud and annoying as it always was, and they don't recognize him at all. Something he thinks of as a soft mercy up until one of the reporters asks Vlad who he is.

Vlad smiles and tugs Danny into the camera frame, "Why, this is my godson!" He crows, and shoots Danny a look that is downright smug I'm sure many of you may know him as Daniel Fenton?"

If looks could kill, Vlad would be ash. Danny isn't quite sure why he still agreed to this -- blackmail or no. He felt itchy being in Gotham; jumpy. He's never forgotten his vow to kill the Joker, in fact it was something he still desperately wants.

But the threat of Rath, the name he chose for his evil future self, haunts him just as much as his murderous intent. If he kills the Joker, would he stop?

Danny's almost afraid of what he'll do if he ever lays eyes on the Joker in person. He doesn't think he'll be able to stop himself from wrapping his hands around that stupid clown's neck and watching the light leave his eyes.

He pushes the thoughts to the side, and smiles lopsidedly as cameras and microphones flood his face, reporters yelling over themselves as they clamor to get a shot of the old Wayne family friend.

Danny turns and walks inside without answering a single question, flexing his fingers in and out of fists. Vlad gracefully hurries after him, and Danny can hear his glare burning into his back.

"You told me to come," Danny hisses to him once he's beside him, meeting Vlad's gaze piercingly, "not that I should play nice."

"Don't embarrass me, Daniel." Vlad hisses back, trying to look the upmost calm as eyes turn onto them. "I'll make you regret it."

"You embarrass yourself, fruitloop." Danny shoots back, walking away before Vlad could get a retort in. He sees Bruce Wayne on the other side of the room.

His heart seizes with nostalgia. He hasn't seen Bruce since Jason's funeral, hasn't spoken to him either. He doesn't know how to feel about him, but he'd been keeping tabs on Bruce both as himself and as Batman.

Danny's feet carry him forwards before he can think about it, silently weaving between the throng of rich people vying for his attention. It's only when he gets closer does he see the little shadow clinging to his side: Damian Wayne.

The newest little bird, Danny realizes, and stifles a smile at the surly expression on Damian's face as two older women coo over him. He reminded him of Sam, who had long since stopped coming to these things the moment she was able to.

The feeling of eyes on him turns Danny's attention away from Damian, and instead finds them back on Bruce's, who stares at him with a little furrow between his brows. As if he recognized him, but he wasn't sure from there.

Danny grins crookedly the moment he's within earshot. "Mister B!" He exclaims, slipping into what remained of his Gotham street accent. Recognition flashed in Bruce's eyes, and the man smiled widely. "Long time no see, old man."

"Danny," Bruce says, his name breathing out like relief. He slips between the crowd surrounding him -- who are now watching Danny -- and pulls Danny into a close hug. "It's good to see you again."

Danny hesitates for a moment -- he wasn't expecting Bruce to hug him -- and returns the gesture. "It's good to see you too, Bruce." He admits. Bruce was still using the same cologne that he did when Danny was a kid. He blinks heavily.

He pulls away quickly, clapping Bruce lightly on the shoulder as Damian quickly latches onto his father's side again. Damian glares daggers at him, fingers digging into Bruce's pantlegs like a possessive little kid.

He made Danny's ghost sense tingle in the back of his throat, creeping up slowly like a spider before stopping suddenly before it reached his mouth. It hummed, and then disappeared.

Danny smothered a frown. Since when did Batman work with ectoplasm? “This must be Damian." He says to Bruce, and holds out a hand to Damian -- he doesn't crouch, he had a feeling that Damian would be less than appreciative if he did that. "You've really expanded the nest since the last time I saw you."

Damian's eyes narrow at him. Bruce laughs lightly, "Ah yes, Tim is around here somewhere. I'm sure you'll see him soon."

"Father," Damian says, his voice layered with an accent. He glares up at Danny with piercing green eyes. "How do you know this man?" He sounds distrustful, Danny respects that and drops his hand.

"This is Danny Fenton." Bruce says, and Danny lets him introduce him. "He was Jason's friend."

An expression similar to bewilderment flashes briefly over Damian's face, and he eyes Danny in disbelief. "Todd had friends?"

Oh. So that's how he wanted to be. Bruce had a little elitist on his hands. Danny's smile drops like a deadweight, and any lingering endearment he had hardens like ice in his chest, fury slowly taking its place like a flickering candlelight. "It's not polite to speak ill of the dead, Mister Wayne." He says coldly, his voice made of chips of ice.

Damian blinks, the disbelief disappearing from his face. The closest thing to a recoil Danny thinks he's going to get. He doesn't care. No one speaks about his best friend that way.

"I grew up with Jason, actually." He continues, breathing in slow and deep, trying to keep the ghostly possessive-protective-rage under control. "I was his best friend."

He turns, almost robotically, towards Bruce, and tries not to look so angry. "I'm going to go find Tim, Mister B." He says, and tries to offer up a weak smile for the man. It comes out as a grimace instead.

"And..." he pauses, flicks his eyes towards Damian, and then looks at Bruce. "I'll... try and keep in contact, B. Tell Dick I said hi, alright? I'll see you in a little bit."

Bruce nods, looking vaguely disappointed and sighing slow through his nose. Danny walks away as Bruce turns to address his youngest, and doesn't bother listening in on what he has to say.

He does, eventually, find Tim Drake. He spots him in a crowd instantly - it's hard not to, and he makes his way over to him. He's not sure Tim Drake would recognize him, Bruce didn't at first and Danny had been around him constantly.

Except Tim Drake does recognize him, much to Danny's surprise. They lock eyes and Tim immediately makes his way over to him. "Danny Fenton!" He says and stops in front of him, "What a surprise, we weren't expecting you tonight."

"Tim Drake," Danny replies, smiling a little as his earlier hurt begins to fade away. "I'm surprised you know me."

"There are pictures of you in the manor with Jason." Tim explains, stuffing his hands into his pockets with an easy-going smile. "It's hard not to know you."

"It’s hard not to know you too,” Danny retorts, a sly smile slowly spreading across his face. “Although you’re a lot taller than you used to be, when you were lurking around Bruce and Jason and I.”

Ohhh Danny recognizes him alright. One part due to all the news articles and tabloids on him after he was adopted by Bruce, and the other part because he remembers the little shadow lurking near plants pots and table legs that used to follow him and Jason around at galas just like these.

Knowing that Jason was Robin, he wonders if Jason knew he was there too.

The effect is immediate: Tim’s eyes grow comically large, and a red tint glows at the tip of his ears as he shrinks back like a turtle trying to hide into its shell. “You— you noticed that!?” He hisses.

“I did!” Danny grins, large and wide, stifling a laugh as the red tint spreads over Tim’s cheeks and nose. He looks mortified. Danny coos. “Aww, I thought it was adorable that Jason had a little shadow. I’m sure he would have loved you if you had just come over and said hi. He had a big soft spot for kids.”

Tim snorts and it— it almost sounds derisive? “Sure he would.” He looks sad, and the mirth in Danny’s chest shrivels up like a flower without light. The smile fades from his face, and all that’s left is a strange, staunch reminder that Danny and Bruce weren’t the only ones that probably mourned.

He touches Tim’s shoulder lightly, “Hey, I’m sorry.” He says, trying to look as apologetic as he feels. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m sorry, I miss him too.” Like a fucking limb he missed him.

There’s something that flickers in Tim’s eyes, passing through too fast for Danny to realize what it is. He assumes its gratefulness, because Tim relaxes a little and offers him a weak little smile. “I wish I had talked to him.”

Danny sees an out and takes it, he forces out a short laugh, grinning widely. “I can tell you all about him if you’d like,” he offers, “I told Mister B I’d keep in touch anyways. I’ve missed him and Alfred quite a lot in the last few years.”

“Not Dick?”

“That dipstick wasn’t around often enough for me to form any sort of emotional attachment to him.” Danny says in a half-complaining tone, placing his hands on his hips. “Although I did like his puns.”

Tim snickers, “I’ll tell him you said that then. Nobody likes his puns.”

“Go on ahead,” Danny grins, laughter swirling in his chest and making his core thrum with warmth. Damn, he’s missed this family. “I stand by my decision. Puns are funny.”

“Let’s get a photo then.” Tim says with a hand already fishing in his pocket for his phone. “He’ll be devastated to know that you were here and he didn’t get to see you.”

“Sure.” And Danny sidles on next to Tim, throwing an arm around his shoulders — and making a noise of surprise when his arm was able to fit comfortably — as if he was just resting it on a counter.

He totally forgot how tall he was compared to Tim. Forgot that he’d been looking down the entire time they’d been talking. “Why’d I get my dad’s height.” He complains, and bends his knees as Tim raises the phone with the front-facing camera on.

Tim snickers under his breath, and takes the picture while they’re both smiling wide. Danny immediately stands up, and peers over Tim’s shoulders to look at the picture.

It’s a good one, with the fringe of Danny’s curls falling slightly over his left eye and making the dimple on his right cheek more prominent. He could see the barely-there smattering of freckles he had across his nose, the ones that became more prominent when the sun was out. His smile was lopsided, Danny’s favorite kind of smile.

He whistles lowly, “That’s a good one,” he says aloud, and smiles impishly at Tim when he looks at him. “You should send that one, I look hot in it.”

Tim snorts, his ears reddening as he looks down at his phone. “Yeah sure, no problem.” He says quickly, and Danny looks away when he pulls up the messenger app. He’s never felt comfortable looking over people’s shoulders when they were on their phone.

“I’m gonna go take a smoke break.” He shoves his hands into his pockets and curls his fingers around the box and lighter inside. “I’ll—“

“Be on the west-end balcony.” Tim finishes, the red in his ears darkening as he glances up from his phone to smile embarrassedly. “I know.”

Danny snorts, “Okay.” His voice is thick with amusement. “Let me know how Dipstick reacts, alright?” He backs up slowly, awaiting Tim’s response. Tim merely waves a hand at him, a weak gesture of “yeah yeah” that makes Danny grin before he flips around and marches towards his favorite smoking balcony.

———————

(Tim pulls up the family group chat and loads the selfie into the text bar. His face feels warm with embarrassment even as his thumbs fly across the screen.

Tim: look who i found at the latest charity gala :) [image]

Hee awaits eagerly a response, and finds he doesn’t have to wait long. Dick’s thought bubble appears on screen, then Cass’s — of which it only exists for a moment before disappearing.

Dick: holy shit, is that who i think it is?

Tim responds quickly, and his message sends.

Tim: yep. He wanted me to tell you that he thinks your jokes are funny.

Dick: they are funny

Tim rolls his eyes and thinks for a moment, really thinks. He weighs his pros and cons. And then his fingers fly across the screen again.

Tim: hey Jason are you not gonna say anything?

There’s no response for all of thirty seconds — of which it stretches on to an uncomfortably long minute — and then Jason’s thought bubble appears.

Jason: what do i have to say to a bunch of idiots blowing up my phone in the middle of patrol?

Tim: harsh. do you recognize the guy in the photo?

Jason’s response is instant. Too fast for him to have actually looked at the photo itself. He’s just trying to spite Tim then. Tim doesn’t care, he has the upper hand here

Jason: no and I don’t care, i have patrol

Tim knows he didn’t look at the photo, and yet he can’t help stifle a shit-eating smile and feign innocence

Tim: really? You and Danny used to be so close, color me surprised

His teeth dig into his lower lip, he doesn’t need to in order to hide a smile. But it gives him something to do. Jason is worryingly silent for a long, long time, and Tim can almost imagine him staring long and hard at the selfie. Tim knows he will be later.

Finally, Jason’s text bubble shows up. It exists for a long time, before finally Tim’s phone buzzes with his message alert.

Jason: that’s danny?

Tim feels all too gleeful. Smugness swirling in his chest like kicked up sand as he types his response: yep! Apparently he showed up today, although I’m not sure with who since I don’t see Miss Manson around here.

Damian: Father says to get off your phone, Drake. We are at a Gala and your behavior is most unbecoming

Tim: can it demon spawn, I was just telling Jason that his friend Danny is here

Damian: He can’t be too important if he doesn’t even know Todd is alive

Tim: how would you know that?

Damian: When Father introduced him as Todd’s friend, I expressed my surprise that Todd even had friends, considering how unpleasant he can be. Fenton became quite cross with me after that and quickly excused himself thereafter

Dick: you said what!? Damian that’s not okay

Damian: Father made that quite clear after Fenton left in a huff. My mistake for thinking that Todd had told his ‘supposed best friend’ that he was alive.

Dick: he didn’t even tell us we were alive at first

Damian: He did eventually, didn’t he? Clearly Todd doesn’t seem to care too much about Fenton if he hasn’t even informed him of his being alive at this point.

Jason’s thought bubble quickly pops up, and then dissipates, then pops up again. Tim quickly pockets his phone before he can see Jason’s response. He doesn’t feel smug anymore, just uncomfortable.)

———————

Stepping out onto the west-end balcony feels like a blast from the past. A painful one at that. Danny’s fingers dig into his cigarette pack, and he pulls it out with a sense of bittersweet familiarity.

It feels like a lifetime ago that he once stood here with Jason. The package clunks dully as his fingers scrape against the side, and he fishes a cigarette out of the box before stuffing it back into his pocket.

“Quite the night isn’t it.” He says to nothing, to ghosts of the past, to himself. He turns and sits on the railing, sticking his legs out like a tripping hazard while Gotham’s hot city wind blows through the air.

He looks up and only sees the ugly pollution yellow sky looking down at him. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to him. He loves the stars and yet when faced with a smog that covers it, he feels more at home.

Danny’s fingers find the lighter, and with a few clicks a small open flame appears in existence. There’s a poem here, he can feel it. But he feels too tired to find it.

The cigarette lights, and the lighter dies in response. Returning back to his coffin-like pocket until he needs to use it again. He pulls a leg up, resting his chin on his knee with a heavy, tired sigh.

He soaks in the sounds around him. The ugly city warmth nips at his jaw. The music inside is muffled by the force of two glass doors and walls on all four sides, and Danny can hear late night traffic coming by on the road nearby. It’s a special kind of ambience you can only find on the west end balcony.

Half a decade ago, Danny had played a part with that ambience with Jason. Now it was just him, and Jason was nowhere to be found. It left a hopeless kind of feeling in his chest. An all-suffocating kind of fear that filled him head to toe with an intensity only ghosts could have.

His body winds up like a spring, and Danny holds his breath. When he exhales two minutes later, the spring stutters and jolts, and his body relaxes with a tremble.

He misses Jason. He misses Jason.

Ghosts are emotional creatures. They feel it from their crown to their soles. And emotional wounds never really heal. They scab over and fester, waiting to be picked at again and again so it can bleed as fresh as it did when it first opened.

Danny’s grief is never going to go away, he thinks. It’s clung to him like a parasite; shaped him and molded him. The wound was too close to him when he died, and now it will stay with him forever.

He opens his eyes when his ghost sense tingles, a heavy feeling in his throat that is neither nicotine nor grief. It’s just like Damian’s, but stronger. Potent. Older. It reaches the top of Danny’s throat and sits at the base of his tongue, like a hand about to suffocate him.

He looks up, cigarette hanging off his lips, and the Red Hood drops down beside him. He stands in the same spot Jason once did, and that alone makes the ghostly core in Danny seize possessively.

Don’t you dare stand where he stood, it hisses, coiling around his lungs like smog. Danny grits his teeth and feels his ghost sense evaporate. He pulls the cigarette out of his mouth, and nicotine smoke pours out like a cheap version of his ghost sense.

“Red Hood.” He says plainly, his free hand coiling and uncoiling like cat’s claws against the railing. “A surprise to see you here.”

Danny knows through process of elimination who most of the Gotham vigilantes are: Dick is Nightwing, Bruce is Batman, Tim is Red Robin, Damian is Robin, and Cass is Orphan. There are a few who he doesn’t know, however. Like Batgirl and Red Hood.

It’s fine, he doesn’t need to know. Danny of all people understands the importance of a secret identity.

Red Hood doesn’t say anything, just stares at him as if he’s a deer in headlights. His body all tensed up like he isn’t sure what to do now that he’s here in front of Danny. Like he wasn’t expecting Danny to be here at all.

Danny’s brows furrow. “Sorry, am I in your spot?” He asks, and begins to push off the railing. “I didn’t think vigilantes used the Wayne Hall west-end balcony, I can leave if you want.”

He’s already begun to move towards the door.

The Red Hood lurches in his spot, “No!” He yells, and Danny stops in place with raising eyebrows. Red Hood’s fingers cringe, and he straightens up.

He’s shorter than Danny, he notes. Which isn’t much of revelation. Everyone is shorter than Danny.

“No,” Red Hood repeats, sounding sturdier than before, “No. You’re fine. I’m just stopping here for a quick rest before resuming patrol.”

…Danny doesn’t question it. It’s none of his business about other vigilantes and their practices. He shrugs and breathes out more smoke, “Alright.” He says, and walks back over to the railing to sit on it. “I’m Danny, by the way.”

The Red Hood nods, and a silence falls over them. Danny doesn’t care enough to make it feel uncomfortable, but the Red Hood seems unsettled by something. Lost in thought. He leans his back against the railing similar to Danny, and then switches a few seconds later to a new pose.

He does it again, and again, and again. Until finally he flips over and leans his stomach against the railing, arms resting against it. It is starkly like what Jason used to do, and Danny stares at him long and hard.

He frowns. And says nothing.

When Danny’s cigarette is nothing more than a butt of nicotine, he crushes it in his hand and watches the ash flutter down to the ground. The heat stings his hand, but its nothing his ghostly healing can’t fix.

The Red Hood is already holding out another one when Danny’s hand drifts to his pocket for the box.

Danny stares at him, sudden wariness opening up like floodgates that sit at the bottom of his stomach.

His frown deepens, his eyes flicker up and down at Red Hood. His hands hover over his pocket. “I have my own.” He says, and watches subtly as the Red Hood hides a wilt. As if he’d been expecting Danny to take it.

“Alright.” The Red Hood says, trying to sound unbothered. He retracts the cigarette away from Danny, quiet all the way. He’s looking away.

Danny plucks the cigarette out of his hand, startling the Hood enough that Red snaps back to look at him. Danny yanks his lighter from his pocket. “I won’t say no to a free cigarette.” He says, slightly muffled with the stick between his teeth. It lights.

Silence falls over them again, and when one minute stretches into five, whatever hope that had been digging into the shoulders of Red Hood finally pulls away and leaves him slumping subtly.

‘A ciggie for your thoughts?’ Nine year old Jason Todd whispers one night with an impish grin, holding up a cigarette pinched between his two fingers. ‘I stole it from my old man. He won’t even notice its gone.’

Danny is halfway through it when he speaks. “The Joker killed my best friend.” He says, and watches from the corner of his eye as the Red Hood flinches. Is he startled by Danny speaking, or startled by the bluntness of him starting?

“He beat him to death.” Danny continues, staring stone-faced away from Red Hood. His grief claws up his lungs and burrows into his heart again. His fingers dig into the railing. “He beat my best friend to death.”

The Red Hood is silent, his body as still as the grave. Silence stretches out between them both, and like he’d been thinking, the Hood finally speaks: “How do you know?”

He’s not holding the cigarette, he broke his and Jason’s rule. Danny bounces the stick between his fingers. “His ghost told me.” He says, taking a trembling breath. “His ghost told me so, before he disappeared.”

The Red Hood says nothing, and Danny gathers his thoughts. The ones that had been buried deep next to his core, shoved down ever since Danny learned of Rath and a terrible future where a world is destroyed by one ghost’s hands.

Danny has never said it out loud before. His face scrunches up briefly, and then smooths out when his eyes squeeze shut. “I’m going to kill him, Red Hood.” He murmurs when he opens his eyes, turning his face toward the vigilante. The sound is sucked out of the air.

The Red Hood stares at him, but he doesn’t say a word. Danny pushes on, teeth grinding into teeth as he flips his silvery scarred hand back and forth. Palm up, palm down. “It’s why I haven’t been back to Gotham in a while.” He admits, voice still quiet. “If I see the Joker I will kill him, and I won’t feel bad for it.”

“Not today though,” he says, and closes his hand, “today I’m here on a favor to Vlad Masters. Then after this I’ll go visit my friend. I need to apologize for not seeing his grave in a while. I’ll have to stop by a florist to see if they have any zinnias. Jay likes those.”

He takes out the cigarette in his mouth and breathes out one last cloud of smoke. And then he crushes the cigarette stick under his foot and walks back inside.

[rayraelleaizawa]

They say something hurtfull in an argument

TW: sad, slight angst, fighting

Characters: Shanks, Beckmann, Mihawk

Side note: a bit ooc cause they'd never say something like that but we live for angst

Part 2: Making up after an argument

Shanks

"Why do you always have to be drunk?" i asked him as he woke up with yet another hangover. Being together with Shanks is amazing, he loves you, he gives you everything you could wish for and more, but there is one thing you hate about his beheaviour: the constant drinking.

"Because we are pirates, we have to party" Shanks answered with a grin before he groans due to his headache.

"This drinking will kill you one time, do you know that? It's also a huge downturn in bed when i want to kiss you and all i can smell is alcohol on your breath." You kept on complaining, tired of this. "Alcohol damages your body so much, do you want to die so much earlier or what?" you snapped at him.

"Maybe I need something to make me feel better about your constant bickering." Shanks said with a growl, the grin disappearing.

You halted in your tracks. A look of hurt crossed your face as you shut your mouth close. Sadness welled up inside you at the thought, that you were also a reason why he kept on having this extremly unhealthy habit.

"I'm sorry then" you said quietly and walked out of your shared quarters, now probably only his quarters, cause you werent sure if you want to go back there and sleep next to him.

You were just worried about him, why didnt you notice that you were annoying him with that? You never said anything, helped him out of all his problems that he caused by himself with his childish demeanour, you only scolded him when he hurt himself. He never hurts others, he only lets himself get hurt. And that frustrated you beyond believe.

Didnt he know how much you cared for him? Did he even care? Are you even enough to make him start to look out for himself?

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you hid yourself in an empty room on the ship. You tried so much to accept his drinking habbits, you didnt even ask him to stop, just to not be drunk 6 and a half days of the week, and that every week.

You burried your face in your knees and cried. Where you that insufferable that he hurts his own body just to be able to endure your company? If you left, then he wouldnt do this to himself anymore, right?

Benn Beckman

"Really? Another one?"

You say annoyed as you watch your boyfriend light up another cigarette.

"Yes. Another one."

He plainly answers. You guys had this discussion before. You wanted him to smoke less, he said he'd try to but the amount doesnt get any less.

"Benn this really damages your lungs. Cant you please try to smoke less?"

You asked again, and he sighed annoyed.

"They help me relax."

You started to get annoyed by his short answers.

"You could relax with other stuff. You could take a bath, or i could massage you, or we could just spend time together."

You suggested as he sighed out audibly annoyed.

"And you think after all the work and stress I have the whole day I want to spend it around a person which constantly nags on me and where i cant let my mind settle even a bit?"

He snapped, looking at you angrily. You looked at him with an unmoving face before you adverted your eyes. You didnt want to show him that his words hurt.

"I'm sorry, I didnt know you couldnt let your guard down around me."

You said defeated, turning around and slowly walking away. You could hear him say your name quietly but you didnt want to turn around. You just walked under deck and into your cabin. You sat down on your desk and started working, tears running down your face as you felt a coldness within you.

Does he not trust me enough? I didnt know that I am a stress factor for him.

Dark thoughts pleagued your mind as you tried to just work through your feelings. You tried to not be even more of a burden. Tears ran down your face, some of them hitting the desk and some hitting the papers with the lists and research about the treasures your crew had gotten lately.

Benn works so hard, and I never made him feel better. I just added to his stress. He'd be better off alone, right?

Dracule Mihawk

"Could you please tell me when you plan on leaving?"

You said to Mihawk as he came back after two months without telling you that he'll be gone.

"Why? I have my own free will if i remember correctly."

"Because I worry about you when you just suddenly disappear! It isnt that hard to just leave a note or something when you cant tell me in the face that you have to leave."

You were angry at him. What did he think? He was your boyfriend so why couldnt he just tell you when he left for weeks?

He puts down his hat and went to get some vine but you stopped him. Him not even looking at you makes you feel like you're unimportant to him, that this whole matter is of no interest to him.

"Do you really care so little about my feelings? Or am I just a nuissance to you right now that you cant even stop walking when I talk with you."

He then looked at you, annoyance but also a sign of being unbothered on his face.

"You're acting like a child. If I leave again and dont come back you'll at least know why now."

He said that so matter of factly that you were stunned about his coldness. He moved around you to the kitchen to grab some vine, and you just stood there.

Did he really just say that I am the reason why he doesnt want to come home anymore?

You shook your head slightly, recalling his words again and trying not to be hurt by them. As you hear his steps starting to come back, you hurried out of the room and into your shared bedroom. Tears streamed down your face as you tried to make it make sense.

When did he start hating to come back to you? What exactly was so annoying about you? Why didnt he just tell you that he didnt like your behaviour anymore? Does he even like you anymore?

All those thoughts were running through your head as you packed the little clothes and stuff you owned. You didnt touch a thing that he bought for you. If he wanted to leave and not come back, then you will make it easier for him and leave on your own. That's what he wants, isnt it?

After you finished packing you quietly stepped out of his castle and made your way into the woods. Tears were still streaming down your face, but you ignored them. This was for the best, right?

[kissesfordaryl]

Hey there ^_^ This idea has been eating away my brain for a good while now and you're the only male writer I know, UGH I LOVE YOU

May I please have your headcanons on how Daryl would be like with a metalhead bf who's really intimidating and looks like he came straight outta hell but is actually super sensitive and sweet? Such as first impressions, how Daryl feels about his kindness, etc.

Thank you!! Xx

daryl & his metalhead.

note: honestly had to do a lil research beforehand bc i dont wanna do any metalheads wrong😭 AND HOPEFULLY I DIDNT!! 😕 lmk (n ilyt)

daryl sees you and automatically assumes youre the quiet type- a lone wolf even. you dressed in dark colors and occasionally band tees(which he had no clue of), towered over almost everyone, wore your dark hair long, and didnt warm up to many people. he doesnt go out of his way to talk to you, until youve come up to him.

"y'wanna go on a run with me?" hes staring up at you in disbelief, turning his head left and right in search of backup. youve practically cornered him on the streets of alexandria, big pleading eyes staring at him.

"yeah!" youre nodding a bit too enthusiastically for his liking, "its just... im looking for some parts. my guitars broken, so. but i wont be in the way, i promise!"

he scoffs, and doesnt believe you for a second. but the next morning, hes taken you and one car.

he realizes that every assumption hes made about you is 100% wrong. hes always categorized you as emo in his head, but you were quick to inform him the differences between being emo and being a metalhead. hes quiet for most of the ride, but surprisingly asks you a few questions here and there. his second assumption is that you were quiet. jesus, you could talk his ear off. but in a good way he thinks.

the run is unsuccessful, but daryl gifts you a little pin with a guitar on it. youre enveloping him in a hug, and hes reluctant to return it.

back at home, he pays more attention to you. he gets defensive whenever someone makes a judgmental remark about you, claiming that you're different than what everyone thinks. carol teases him about it: "didnt realize you knew him so well." and yeah. maybe he did. maybe he wanted to. "so what?"

he finds himself coming around to your house more often, letting you teach him how to make dinner and listen to you play(he found your missing part on a run with rick). he enjoys it more than he thought he would, and you joke around and say hes halfway to being a metalhead like you.

"youve already got the hair down." hes sat down at the couch, and youre coming around to sit next to him, a hand reaching out to feel his hair. "we're basically twins."

he huffs, turning away to hide his blush. "it aint like that. just grew out over time."

"well good. i like it."

hes grown attached to you, always spending his free time with you. that also means hes grown protective of you. he constantly lectures you on how you shouldnt just let people say whatever they wanted about you- and that if you wouldnt step up, he will.

you take in a stray cat, and daryl practically has a heart attack seeing how gentle you are with it, pampering it and laying it against daryls chest.

he lets you do stupid shit to him all the time, like dress him up in your clothes or do some light makeup on him. to show your appreciation, you gave him a kiss on the cheek. he freaks the fuck out and has to get carols advice.

your first kiss is all thanks to your lighter: its just you two outside the walls, and hes forgotten his own. youre leaning in close, the fire right underneath the cigarette. your hand is quick to steal it from his mouth, fingers brushing against his mouth. before you can blow the smoke out, hes on his tippy toes and leaning in. the way the smoke blows into his own mouth is the hottest thing youve ever seen.

hopefully didnt butcher this🤞🤞 btw this is such a cute idea im in love

[thefiery-phoenix]

yandere h.c for Sam, too <33

Sure

YANDERE SAMUEL SEO HEADCANONS

There are no words to express how much I simp for this man despite him being a walking red banner lol 

If you've managed to catch his attention, all I can say is RUN. Although that wouldn't really do you much good either since he's the President of the Worker's Affiliates and he does have a lot of influence, being Eugene's right hand man(before stabbing him in the back) does have it's own advantages. You could be a regular cafe worker or a member of the Worker's Affiliates, whatever it is, when he lands his eyes on you the only thought that will be running through his head will be 'They're MINE' 

He's one territorial, possessive, obsessive and manipulative MF to say the least. He has no qualms even going as far as literally THREATENING the people you're close to, friends and family included just so he can be with you. A literal walking red flag, his arrogant cocky smirk itself should be obvious. He wants possess you and make you his completely, he'll fall HARD for you and when he does, he won't be able to come back from that chasm of obsessive love for you. You remind him of a small little prey, so helpless and naive and he likes it that way. Don't get him wrong, he does love you, in his own twisted obsessive manner of course 

Man here has abandonment issues to the core, daddy issues, Gun issues(Lol who doesn't) and insecurities as well but when you comfort him, he's confused at first, he's genuinely taken aback. It's been so long since he's remembered someone taking the time and effort to comfort him and make sure he's doing all right. He'll reply in a calm and stoic manner that he's fine but deep down his heart is racing wildly, he's secretly really glad you're taking the time to comfort him. He'd rather die than admit this but he does appreciate your gesture. He likes how innocent and sweet you are, which makes him want to protect you and keep you safe. With him. Where you rightfully belong 

He's really not above bugging your entire apartment with hidden cameras so he can get a glimpse of your daily life, it's like a window into what you do everyday. He finds it so amusing and thinks it's adorable how you haven't figured out that he's secretly watching every move you do. He'll have his men find out more about you and the amount of information he has on you, he's ready to write a whole freaking research paper about you, that's how well he knows you now. Your social media accounts, your contacts list and yes, even all those fan fiction sites you like reading and visiting...he'll have them all. He'll immediately block all the people he doesn't like, he doesn't want some random pest stealing you away from him. He'll get information on those annoying pesky friends of yours and his mind will be racing of thoughts on how to dispose of them as soon as possible so you'll be his in every way possible 

No matter what, Samuel is ALWAYS around you one way or another. If some random person tries to hit on you or something, the very next day they'll immediately be reported missing. People will start disappearing from your life like flies and it's all HIS doing. He either pays them money to prevent them from seeing you again or he'll just straight up murder them. Though he does lean towards the second option quite frequently. If you try to accuse him of something, he'll just smirk at you and say something like "Sweetheart, you're mistaken. I wouldn't act as rash and unprofessional as this..." Yeah Right

You'll be kidnapped pretty soon because no WAY is he going to stand by and let someone try to steal you from him. You're HIS. You'll wake up on his bed while he'll have his usual standard smirk on his face as his arms are crossed over his muscular tattooed chest and he strides over to you. "Ah good, you're awake...there are going to be some changes to your lifestyle now'' he says in a calm manner as he lights a cigarette and smokes it calmly, like everything is all right after he literally just kidnapped you. Scream and throw as many number of tantrums as you want, he'll just find you amusing. If you want to cry, he might pretend to be slightly annoyed at first but he'll sigh softly as he wipes your tears with his thumb and then whisper in that husky voice of his in your ear to be good for him unless you want your loved ones to be safe. Sadistic MF 

You, of course won't know the reality of what he actually does and he prefers to keep it that way. What you don't know won't hurt you. Though he might be unhinged at times, he has his soft moments with you as well. He likes to hold you in his arms and press soft kisses to the nape of your neck and steal a few kisses on your lips every now and then. His kisses on your lips always leave you wanting for more and slightly gasping for air, he's that good lol. He just likes physical intimacy with you a lot. He might not be too expressive by words about his feelings of love for you but he believes that his actions are enough to make up for them. If anyone else touches his hair, he'd have broken their hand by now but if it's you, he'll have a soft smile on his face and pull you on his lap as he hums contentedly. It really HAS been a while since he's felt so happy and he couldn't have been more thankful since you came into his life 

He'll take you out for dates in fancy restaurants and spoil you with whatever your heart desires. Or if you want to have a quiet night in, that could be arranged too with you in his arms. I seriously pity the poor fool who tries to hurt you or steal you from him though. He will straight up TORTURE them with the way he fights. He loses complete self control when he fights, his mind is like a beast filled with pure unadulterated anger and rage as he breaks the bones of whatever schmuck dared to set their filthy eyes on you. Or he'll just kill them, not after banging their head to the wall over and over again and stomping on their face as he calmly smokes a cigarette (because MOOD) and he'll end up choking the person to death with one hand. After that's done, he'll grumble about how he's got blood on his suit but he's glad to go back home to be with you. Don't question the blood on his suit...just don't, for the sake of your sanity. He does get rather annoyed when they keep screaming for mercy though, he'll just smile at them in an unnerving manner and cut their tongue off to silence them 

Samuel adores you and loves you with all his twisted heart. Deep down he's still a bit insecure of himself. Don't even think of leaving him, it's a death wish. He'll just track your location in a few moments and he'll drag you back home. You'll end up being tied to his bed until you earn your freedom and his trust to move around again. Besides, you don't need to whine and complain so much, not when he's the one taking care of you. He's ready to do ANYTHING to ensure you stay by his side no matter what...

[howlsofter]

Hellfire.

You’ve been working for John Constantine for a little. He’s been too protective to let you learn anything but he wants to keep you close. Just my usual one shot smut with a little plot.

Words: 2.8k

Tags/warnings: m/f penetration, cunnilingus, drinking, smoking, a little dirty talk, choking, idk sex mostly

John Constantine hates being bothered.

But he needs a new driver.

Just temporarily.

He’d found me on one of his previous endeavors, but many already know who I am. Taught of the occult and arcane by a small circle on the streets after my parents passed, my skills are above most.

Not that I ever get to use them with John. He’s worrisome, shaking as he presses his cigarette back up to his mouth, inhaling like it was his last breathe. He is peering outside.

“John, this time please,” I beg as I round up to the building, John doesn’t even look my way, tossing his cigarette to the ground the moment he opens the car door. He rushes inside and I sigh, tapping my fingers against the steering wheel and letting my head fall back.

30 minutes or so and he’s back, staggering with another goddamn cigarette between his lips. He climbs into the car and I drive forward,

“Where to?” I ask, glancing in the mirror. He’s been crashing at mine for this stent, but he’s been talking about something West. Something I could help him with.

My life is in Brooklyn. I pursed my lips together when he told me. I agreed. He knew I would. I’ve been following John blindly these past few months, yet I don’t know if he really gives a fuck about me.

“Fuck,” he spreads out in the backseat, closing his eyes and pressing his cigarette up to his lips, “anywhere. Do you have alcohol?”

That’s code for my place, because I almost always have alcohol. He’s not a terrible house guest. He doesn’t touch my food, he crashes on the couch fully clothed, no blankets no pillows. That’s only if he’s tired, otherwise he sits and, thinks. I guess.

I pour us a glass and leave the bottle in the middle of table. John sits back and retrieves his cigarettes from his pocket, knocking out another and putting it up to his lips.

He lights it before taking a long sip of his drink. He’s sat back in his seat but leaned forward in a long folded over shape. He takes another drag as soon as he’s swallowed the liquid, huffing out and looking around my apartment.

Nothing has changed since the last time he’s been here, he realizes quick and settles back to me. I reach out, “may I?” He seems annoyed but he snatches the pack from his side pocket where he’d returned them.

I scoot my chair over closer as he grabs the lighter. He holds the cigarette up and I lean forward, taking it from his fingers between my lips. I still, following his hands as he takes another long drag, looking at me waiting for him. I raise an eyebrow and begin reaching for the lighter myself. John’s eyes dart to it and he reaches out quick, flicking his wrist to open it and swiftly sparking it up. I inhale just enough to light it before taking a real drag and sitting back.

“Any plans here, John.”

He takes another sip, “always asking me shit. No, there’s no plans. I’m waiting for someone to slip up.”

“I haven’t found anything about the soul stones,” I’ve been researching, asking around, “most people say they haven’t heard of them.”

“Then you’re asking the wrong people.” He takes a hit after every sentence, this man breathes no oxygen.

“Maybe it’s not in Brooklyn anymore?”

“West…” he mentions again, “but it’s just another gamble.” He turns his head away, like he’s tired of the conversation and finally I take another drag of mine. I can feel the nicotine buzz in my body, I only ever palm one off of John occasionally. It mixes well with a little alcohol.

John leans back up, resting his elbows on the table and taking another large sip of his drink. “Are you really coming?” He asks, suddenly so serious. He takes his last sip of his drink, putting it to rest on my tabletop, he flicks his ash into the ashtray I have specifically for him.

“I said I was.” I respond, lifting my own cup, I swirl the liquid around and take a small sip.

“You don’t have to.”

“Do you want me to?”

John puts the cigarette out, leaving it in the ash. “Only if you want to.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“You’re… useful to me. But I don’t want to uproot your life.”

“I have no other life. Do you want me to go?” I’m shifting closer as I speak, John watches me careful, like I’m about to lunge at him.

“None at all?” He almost teases me, I watch his lips form the words, he tilts his shoulders towards me, leaning in.

I’m not going to engage, he tilts his chin up, like he’s going to kiss me, but I know John’s games and I turn my head. Quickly cutting him off to take a long drag.

John wants to roll his eyes, snaking a hand past me to take the short stick from my hands. He takes an equally long drag, burning through the rest of the cigarette before casting it out with his first.

“I want you to come,” he tells me. He says it like I’m holding a gun to his head, but his body is open, pulling me in slightly. I have to tilt my head up to him.

“Then I’m there,” I almost whisper it. He bites his lip for a moment, pats his blazer for his smokes and fills the gap between us. It’s sweet, one careful kiss. I capture it, silently allowing him to continue. He has his stance open, on either side of my chair. He leans in closer, sliding his hands around my hips and pulling me to the edge. I moan against his lips, he we taste the same almost, the same brand of cigarette. He pulls away and leans back, licking my saliva off his lower lip.

“This is your obligatory one minute to reconsider.”

“Reconsider?”

“To reconsider being with me. You have 45 seconds.”

I reach out and wrap my fingers around his tie, pulling him back closer to kiss him again. He stops the count, swallowing me up hold. He pulls me over into his lap and stands, holding me up against his waist.

I’m straddled up against his cock, which poked at me through his loose slacks. He fumbled to my room, forgetting which door it is at first, setting me up on my dresser when we were there. He bites at my neck, sinking his teeth in hard enough for it to hurt. I hiss, going to shove him away. No matter there I pushed or pulled him, he didn’t budge. John secures his arm he already has around my waist, his other hand reaches into his pocket. He retrieves his smokes and sets them beside us on the dresser. He kisses where he was just attacking me, hand sinking into his pocket to retrieve his lighter. My break is short lived, he runs his nose down my neck and delves into a soft spot there. I choke and stretch away from him, knocking his lighter from his hand on accident.

I hear it bounce around on the ground with a few soft thuds then silence. John follows it with his eyes before they snap back to me. I dont know why it’s so embarrassing, I can feel my face burning and John simply moves on. He presses more pretty kisses to my neck, coaxing me again. I give in easy, wrapping my legs up around him. He moves to kissing me again, going to undo his belt. I groan, reaching out to knock his fingers away and do it myself. My shaky fingers fumble over the black leather, pulling it from the matching black belt loops. I wait to break the kiss once I’m done, blinking up at John through my lashes. He takes over, pulling it completely out and dropping his belt to the floor, he’s completely hard now. His slacks sink down his waist without his belt, his briefs waistline visible and the tip of his cock pressed against the edge, waiting.

He sits back up, running his hands along my thighs and yanking me closer to the edge of the dresser. He forces me to sit back when he undoes my jeans, looming over me and nudging my nose with his.

I push my hands flat against the wood, lifting my hips up and letting him slide them off of me. He sinks down, the flat of his hand running from my outter to my inner thigh slowly, making sure they’re well apart before he’s sliding over my panties. I grip the edge of the dresser, looking down at John for once. One hand curves around my thigh, fingers hooking my underwear and holding them to the side with his ring finger, the rest of his hand flat between my hip bones. He presses there with minimal pressure, wasting no time sliding his tongue right between my folds. He opens his mouth wide, running right from my entrance up to my vulva then a few open mouth kisses, his tongue seeking out my clit and pressing in rough circle. He has his eyes closed until he’s found a rythme, looking up at me and shifting his free hand down, palming himself through his slacks.

It feels way too good, really, I’m trying hard not to wriggle out of his hold in pleasure. I can only grind down and shake, unable to rip my eyes from him. I snake my hand into his short dark hair, pulling at it then fixing it to the side.

John’s tongue slips down, exploring my entrance as his hand finally manages to get his button off and he’s exposed himself. He stroked himself slowly, lustfully, trying to fuck me with his tongue.

I switch between his hand and his face, I’m getting closer. His mouth feels better and better each second, I begin to freeze up, focusing on the sensation. I’m almost smirking, I’ve never thought I’d have John Constantine in this position. Jacking off while I grind against his face.

He sees my smirk and he just can’t help but be an asshole. Slowing his tongue, he licks one more slow strip up me before pulling off, he practically rips my underwear off as he stands back up.

I groan, edging myself back from the dresser and cursing quietly, “getting too cocky there, Hellfire,” he warns me, brandishing my nickname he’s almost called me one before. He goes back to holding my hips, lulling me forward as he drags his cock right up against me. His saliva mixed with my pleasure coats his cock and he groans into my ear, “protection?”

“Already casted,” he nods.

He runs his hands up my hips and finally slips my top off, letting it fall with his other clothes beside us in the pile. He undoes a few of his shirt buttons quickly, pulling it off over his head when he’s had enough.

John assumes position. “Hold my shoulders,” he commands, bringing his hips back, one hand adjusting himself and the other holding my side. He presses the tip in carefully, my body rejects him. It aches, I tighten my hold around his shoulders, encircling him closer to me. “Fuck, relax,” he tells me to like it’s easy. I inhale stiff and sharp and he runs his hand around me to my back, “breathe,” he tries again, speaks slower. I do, inhaling again slowly. He’s pushing into me on my exhale, carefully, steady. We both make a noise when he’s, passed the hardest part for me. John is hungry, running his hand up to cup my breast, he sinks his hips into me further.

I lean back on one hand, supporting most of our weight, my other arm is still encased around John. I can’t go anywhere as he fills me up, pushing him away only makes him smile. He gets halfway in before he snaps up into me. His name falls past my lips, not given a moment to regain my composure before he’s fucking me. Quick and rough, his body makes a slapping sound every time we meet.

He groans over me, following the curve of my open mouth with his brown eyes. His pupils blown, he grabs at my neck, encasing his large hand around it and holding me still.

He’s gripping me just rough enough to steady me but I can still breathe. My gasps are raspy against his palm, the pain is all pleasure. I gaze at him through my eyelids, going weak against his grasp on me. I paw at him with my free hand, running the line of his collarbone and trying not to let my eyes shut.

John yanks me forward, my useless hand coming up quickly to his wrist as the rest of my body sits up in order. He speeds up his thrusts, holding me by my neck right up his face. He’s so focused in, there’s not a thought behind those dark eyes besides need.

I let my sticky forehead press against this, eyes eyes dip down, not realizing how hard he’d started choking me. He loosens his grip but only moves his hand when his hips have slowed, scooping me back up while he’s still pressed inside of me. I wrap both arms around him around, barely assisting him in the transition from my dresser to my low bed.

He gets on his knees, falling out of me as he sets me back on the bed. I fall back doll, letting my arms rest above my head as I lift my hips and stretch out. He runs his hand over himself a few times, trying to really take in his view before crawling back up to hover above me. He pushes my legs apart with one hand, still touching himself as he leans over, pressing an open mouth kiss to the soft spot of my thigh. The niceties never last long. Next he’s biting me again, holding my leg down when I immediately begin my escape.

“So pretty,” he hums, running his nose up my leg, licking my hip bone and adjusting himself to press against my entrance. It’s easier for him to slide into me in this position, he grabs my arm when I go to block my blush.

He eases slowly, shuffling to find the best position where he has at least one free hand. He runs it down my side, squeezing my hip and bringing me closer. With his thumb he presses more slow circles against my clit, I lay still and lazy, following his slow motions with my hips as encouragement.

“Am I being good?” I prompt him, my voice scratchy from him grip before. I say it quiet, unsure if he even heard me. But John most certainly did, unconsciously picking up speed.

“That’s what you want?” He snaps up in me, moving his thumb over me with a matching thrust. My hips jut out, trying to push my legs apart further. The same tingling heat building up inside of my groin.

I only kinda nod, too close to be embarrassed. I ghost over the tattoos on his forearm and grip his upper, pleading with him with my eyes. “You’re being so fucking good,” he murmurs, coaxing my orgasm with every thrust, “letting me use you.”

“John,” I whimper his name, trying to get him to keep talking and attempting to drag him closer. He’s getting closer, not daring move from where he is now he’ll spill. His arm is shaky, flexing under my grip. He is losing his breath, mouth ajar.

He sucks in quickly, “fuck, you can cum, baby,” he says it in a growl, edging himself as I spill. My body grips around him and his head falls slack against my shoulder, he bites into the skin there but I don’t even register it past the pleasure that’s hits me.

It rings out through my whole body, John slows, sloppy thrusts as he continues to use me. When I’m settling he pulls out, letting out a delicious moan and cumming. Warm spurts all over my bare stomach, I hum in delight, running my fingers to scoop some up and lick them clean.

John sits up slowly, huffing as he pushes his sweaty hair back. “Fuck, Hellfire,” he mumbles, climbing off the bed to grab his smokes and lighter. I’d knocked it off halfway beneath the dresser. He lights one up swiftly, how he’s done it a thousand times before, and grabs a random shirt off my floor. I don’t protest, it’s dirty anyways. I steal the cigarette from his lips as he wipes me clean.

[alienssstufff]

been thinking about how there was gonna be one more stream where c!slime and c!quackity we’re gonna find solace,,,how do you believe their story ended? (since you are the ceo of dapduo)

With what we currently have in canon here is how that final stream would have panned out: NOTE- the following happens after the HO16 fic, after Wilbur apologises to everyone except Tommy, and the 9/10 LN ending

The beginning of the stream starts with c!Wilbur leaning against the pool balcony area of Las Nevadas in the early morning as c!Quackity joins him, they both look visibly haggard and fucked up (also Quackity is in a wheelchair). It's a very darkly lit scene, clarity only shown by the light of the cigarettes they share. If I were to pin a Hamilton song to this moment it would have the lines from Angelica's 'Congratulations' notably

I look at us and think, "God, what have we done with our lives, And what did it get us?"

Though I don't know if any of them would actually say anything. None of them say anything, as stubborn as the other despite everything they've been through separately, it'd take hell for either of them to truthfully open up to the other about anything let alone themselves. It's stubbornness but it's also mutual, an agreement that neither of them would apologise to the other. Two sides of the same coin, the reflections of eachother in the water being reminders of this. The both of them leave in opposite directions of the shoreline, towards bringing an end to their final arcs.

[ok ACTUAL part with c!Quackity and c!Slime are undercut. I promise]

After the title screen, this new scene actually opens a week prior to the tntduo scene up top. Quackity on his last canon life wakes up exactly where he had fallen from the hotel, a green puddle noticeably on the floor next to him.

In my headcanon, it is implied (offscreen) that out of guilt Slime jumps off the ledge after pushing Quackity - paralleling when Quackity jumped after Slime in the 27/11/2021 finale.  "the consequences will be bitter. I will not fail. Because Quackity from Las Nevadas, we have one thing in common. Through everything we've been through. The same human ruined our lives. Because you are not a good person." -Slime

The camera is a long shot, from POV of one of the deck chairs and it shows c!Foolish hurriedly rushing to Quackity's aid to help him up. [Cut to black]

At this moment in time, there is no war on the server. Las Nevadas instead dealing with a completely new problem that is the slime clones infestation. Security footage showing different places of the country just filled with the clones aimlessly wandering around. Foolish and Quackity, the only remaining members of Las Nevadas left discuss in the now-empty and ruined Amongus research bunker on what to do next. Quackity ponders, thinking about what Slime said to him on the balcony and all the things Quackity did wrong -- and so begins the true reprise of Quackity's lessons.

The general format of this section of the stream being the same as the 27/11/2021 Las Nevadas finale: Quackity says the new (revised) Lesson, and it shows Quackity teaching these lessons to the slime clones. Hypothetically there could also be a scene of Quackity making amends with Kinoko kingdom and him sending the letters to the Syndicate etc.

Meanwhile I would have liked to think Slime, now finally free from... anyone really - spends its time wandering the server interviewing all forms of life and figuring out itself on what it truly means to be human. These wouldn't happen in the one Quackity stream but small bits of Charlie's, every new day starting with Slime watching Quackity from afar. (Featuring this also helps better portray Slime as its own person beyond Quackity's influence). If I were to pin another Hamilton song to this it would be 'It's Quiet Uptown'

ANYWAY the true finale, after having grown in their respective ways - ends with the two of them in the bright dawn at the beach. They go to each other and embrace, crying and happy as the world burns to white :,]

[bwoahtastic]

ow girl nico and jense 💔 do they have kids at the end?

maybe its a surprise and they had talked about it but arent really ready to stat looking actively. but then nico is sick every morning and she feels lightheaded so sebby takes her to a drugstore and gets her some test. she does them in the gas station bathroom and cries her heart out when it comes back as positive.

shes so happy with the news but what would jenson think? they are retired yes but they live such youngster lives, a kid would mean a huge change.

but when jenson finds out? hes over the moon. hes so exited. he wants to be the best dad (like his was) to the kid. he researches, stops drinking and smoking (jenson smoking???? im dead), always has a hand on nicos back

and nico feels so good! glowing with the pregnancy, bum out as it is a summer pregs, hair shinnier than ever. jenson is obssesed, they have sex every day every time.

and when the baby girl is born? jenson is such a girl dad!!! nico is so soft seeing the love of her life being held by the other love of her life. jenson sings to the bbgirl, dances, dresses up as princess elsa and does everything to make his two girls so happy!

Oh plss yes!! Nico feeling sickly in the mornings and just on edge, not like herself bur she can't figure out what is wrong. Seb gets her a pregnancy test cos she knows even if Nico herself is in denial. Nico is so excited about the thought of being a momma but also so worried! What if Jenson doesn't want this? They ate quite enjoying their retired lives fooling around and partying and they would have to change. She is so anxious when she tells Jenson, nose red and tear streaks on her face wnd Jenson thinks she is about to break up with him but then she whispers she is pregnant and starts bawling again saying she wants the baby so bad and she is sorry if Jenson wasn't and Jenson just kisses her to shut her up and then spends an hour kissing her tummy until she giggles again!

Jenson stops drinking and smoking cos also Nico cant do thst now ofc (idk the vibes of them on a balcony at a party sharing a cigarette before they get together? Talking a bit and Nico has Jenson's suit jacket around her shoulders and Jenson teases her gently about her hello kitty lighter) and he is just over the moon and such an amazing support! And nico is glowing once the morning sickness goes away, her hand alwsys on her little bump and she is so excited too!

They have a little girl cos jneson is the biggest girl dad I agree!! Jenson spoils their little princess and alwsys indulges her, wearing princess dresses ro match her when she asks, having tea parties and just being the best role model a little girl could ask for! I think Nico is maybe a bit more strict but the little girl is still very much a momma's girl!

[vespen666]

Campbell Bain Headcanons

these are a bunch of headcanons i have about our favourite loonie!

before we get started I will say trigger warning for SH, Suicide, BD and fire. Also I'm autistic, so i've used some of my experiences as reference. And my friends are bipolar so also took reference from them.

so without further a-doo lets begin!!!

1- He's bisexual but he prefers male/gender-neutral partners.

2- He likes to listen to Queen and David Bowie

3-His primary love language is touch (he didn't get much physical affection when he was a kid) however he is demi-asexual

4-He absolutely adores when anyone plays with his hair or gives him head scratches (especially if they've got long nails

5-He's an insomniac. His sleep schedule is none existent, he sleeps whenever he feels like it wether that be at 5 in the morning or once every two days. He is rarely ever asleep before 1 am

6-He's got ADHD. All that energy and fidgeting doesn't come from being bipolar alone.

7-He loves doing arts and crafts at the asylum. The nurses sometimes use taking it away as a bribe to get him to take his meds if cocoa doesn't work

8-He knows a sh1t tone about stars and outer-space. if you point at a constellation and ask him to name it he'll tell you in an instant with its whole back story and everything.

9-He's got some PTSD from his childhood and watching Fergus jump off the roof.

10-His favourite movie is the breakfast club. He relates to John and Allison a lot and likes to reminisce of his short time in highschool and all the detentions he got.

11-He use to self-harm and still has the scars. He's not proud of it but when asked about it he'll just say "well thats life"

12-When he went to school he was the type of kid to turn up in pyjama bottoms and a hoodie, never pay attention but still somehow pass and he would skip class at least once a week

13-On the rare occasion that he does get to sleep, he moves around A LOT. full on starfish and blanket hogger, he also fidgets in his sleep

14-He quit cigarettes and started smoking w3ed. He said it was to "calm his nerves and help him focus on his creative flow" but eventually with Eddies help he quit that too.

15-He (albeit rarely) gets panic attacks.

16-He'll just randomly set small things on fire when he's bored. Sometimes he accidentally sets himself on fire

17- He hates loud noises unless he's the one making them. He loves to shout and blast his music so loud he can't hear his own thoughts but hates it when other people do it.

19- He loves soft things. He has about 15 stuffed animals at home (his favourite came with him to the ward) and is always wrapped up in a blanket when he watches tv or is reading. Any chance he gets he'll be cocooned in blankets and pillows

20-He either has a God-complex or hates him self to no end. There is no in between one minute he'll think he's the best person alive and the next he'll think everyone hates him.

21-When he was 16 (around the time he was diagnosed) him and his dad had a falling out and he tried to overdose. That was the reason he got admitted to saint Judes

22-He is fascinated by witchcraft but never really tried it himself, just likes doing research on it

23-He considered suicide after Fergus died but decided to continue on in his name and prove that loonies could get jobs and that being manic didn't define him

24-He once tried to die his hair green but decided he didn't like it so he went back to brown

25-His favourite bands are Nirvana and Green day

26-He likes comic books and his favourite hero is wolverine

thx for reading and I'm open to suggestions for Campbell.

[akookminsupporter]

Thank you for answering, it's nice to see someone else agree with me and actually have a small conversation about these issues :)

And you're right, when I sent the ask I was very frustrated and didn't even think about the competition between members... But that's also a thing yeah.

"Now that drug is not constant, they need to satiate that need anyway, that's why many don't mind sharing and spreading videos or pictures of the guys in their free time or their private life." That's a really interesting way of putting it and I think you worded it perfectly. I didn't really think about what caused this big influx of people spreading their private info more - I didn't want to get into it, I always thought it was Mostly due to the new fans. There are of course old fans who have alsways done this and will continue to do it, but as I said, I didn't really do (or want to) research on why they are so horrible to the boys. But I think you explained it really well.

And regarding them smoking or drinking... We are not their mothers to tell them what to do 🤷‍♀️ And I think everyone who spends more than 2 seconds of "oh he's drinking/smoking, that's bad but whatever it's his life" on this, then they need to fucking go outside. Seriously. Go outside. See how many fucking people drink and smoke. You'd be surprised. Let's not even talk about them having sex because that's obviously harder to prove (Jesus I hope nobody proves it with physical proof), but yeah. They do have sex. Get over it. I blame kpop all together for these issues because they also try to brainwash fans into believing their idols are pure and perfect as you said: they don't drink, they don't curse, don't smoke, don't have sex. And maybe the 15 year olds that they debut nowadays really don't smoke or have sex. But we are talking about 26-30 year old men so lmao And Namjoon has been hinting a lot that he has gone through breakups . But of course nobody watches actual content from the boys themselves :) *sarcasm * (that's also why I think people spread the jungkook pictures so much: we literally saw his e-cigarette (?) or whatever its called a few months ago in a live but since only fans watch that, nobody gave a fuck)

Anyway. I agree with everything you said and you really worded it better than I could have. A lot of people I follow always pray for 2025 to come faster (bts coming back whenever) so that these people would leave. And my question is: do you think they would? Considering now that Jin is coming back in June and there is a possibility some of the maknae line won't leave until early 2024 (this is my guess only!) that gives us a few months between the last one leaving and the first one coming back. If they have enough content, both the fandom and solos can survive those 4-5 months. Idk about how much causal fans interact with the fandom, I guess there will always be someone who will leave because they get bored. But do you think there is a possibility at least SOME people will move on? Preferably the bad ones?

Not between members but between their Solo stans.

This may be the last time I talk about this because it really is a non-issue but I don't understand what the big deal is about them smoking or drinking alcohol or having romantic/sexual relationships. Those are normal things that everyone or most of the world's population does almost every day, so why would people expect those 7 men in their twenties not to do it too. The expectations that many have of these men are absurdly unrealistic and it's frustrating that they don't realise it.

A lot of people I follow always pray for 2025 to come faster (bts coming back whenever) so that these people would leave. And my question is: do you think they would?

But do you think there is a possibility at least SOME people will move on? Preferably the bad ones?

I really don't think so. I don't think they will. I think some will go into hibernation and others will pretend that nothing happened and that they didn't say anything stupid. Others will continue to behave in the same way, pretending to be an independent city within the huge country called ARMY.

[bella-goths-wife]

James NSFW alphabet

James x reader

A= aftercare (what’s he like after sex?)

The king of aftercare

You want a snack? Done

You want a massage and a bubble bath? The waters already running my love

He wants to make sure every aspect of sex for you is pleasurable, even aftercare

He doesn’t want you in pain or exhaustion if he can help it

He doesn’t like receiving it most of the time unless it was an extremely emotional session

If he does receive it, he’ll be sure to reciprocate three times over next time

B= body part (his favourite body part on him and reader)

James’s favourite body part on you is definitely your hands. He likes holding them and he loves seeing them on him and feeling your touch. A close second would be your neck because of how much he loves to bit and grab it.

His favourite body part on himself is his arms. He loves how big his arms are and how wide his shoulders are. He sees them as a weapon to protect you with. He also likes his hair because you take care of it for him.

C=cum (anything to do with cum)

James prefers to cum inside but he doesn’t mind facials and he also likes to cum on readers face. When he’s gives a blowjob and cums he adores seeing reader swallow it.

D=dirty secret

James once came across you and faith having sex and saw how much pleasure she was giving you. It sparked a lot of jealousy in James

So after that incident James made sure to overstimulate you to hell and made sure you came at least six times. He also made sure faith could hear you screaming his name.

E=experience (how much experience does he have?)

James has been with you and one other girl. He sees sex as a very vulnerable and personal thing so he doesn’t really want to sleep with someone he doesn’t love.

That’s not to say he doesn’t know what to do though. He did lots of research from books, he tried porn but he didn’t think that would be pleasurable for a girl. He will let you guide him if something doesn’t feel good and he won’t let it hurt his ego, whatever works for you he likes.

F=favourite position

James likes to be sat down while you ride him. He likes that he can control the pace and be dominant while also letting you do what’s comfortable and pleasurable for you. He also likes that you can make eye contact with him whilst doing it. It also makes it easier for him to have a cigarette during sex.

G=goofy (is he goofy or serious?)

Most of the time he’s serious but sometimes he’ll tease you to embarrass you. He would only ever laugh during sex if something stupid happened like the bed broke or you fell off, stuff like that would make him crack.

H=hair (shaved or not shaved?)

James has a trimmed dirty blonde bush. He used to let it grow up but after dating you he decided to start trimming it for your comfort. He doesn’t mind trimming but sometimes finds it annoying and wish’s he doesn’t have to.

He doesn’t mind if you have pubic hair or not, whatever you want he’ll accept. If you do trim he likes a Landing strip because he sometimes find it sexy for some reason.

I=intimacy (what’s he like during sex?)

James is intense during sex, and romantic. He wants to be able to look into your eyes and show you his pure devotion and adoration as he makes you cum. He loves the romance of sex and wants to worship you.

J=jack off (how often do they masturbate?)

He doesn’t really masturbate. James doesn’t really get that horny unless your involved, he’s never really felt the desire to have sex before his relationship with you. He does jack off when he misses you and hasn’t been able to see you in a while so I’d say maybe once every 2-3 weeks. He only really gets horny if your involved.

K=kinks

I could see James with a daddy kink, or any nickname that holds an authoritative title like sir or master. Something to show he’s in control.

He’d also be kind of into spanking or dirty talk because he loves how embarrassed you get when he tells you what he’s going to do to you in detail.

Definitely hair pulling but he’d never admit it because it might stop you doing hair care with him.

L=location (where would he do it?)

The two of you usually do it at his house because his uncle is never home but since he unofficially moved in with max the two of you started doing it in your room at maxs house while max was working at the store.

If the two of you got a moment alone in the cave James would be really into it. Not just because of revenge against your fathers who could catch you at any moment but also because he can rub it in faiths face and make her listen to him enjoying you.

M=motivation (what gets him going)

You.

Literally anything you do will get him going.

As I’ve said he’s not really a horny person but when it comes to you he’s ready to go 24/7

One thing that gets him really horny is when you care for him. He’s never had anyone take care of him before so when you take care of him or doing hair care for him he just wants to rip your cloths off.

N=no (what’s a turn off)

He wouldn’t enjoy a threesome because he already has to share you with faith so sex is the time where he gets you all to himself.

He wouldn’t volunteer pegging but if you asked him he would do it, he would prefer to be in control though.

O=oral (giving or receiving?)

Giving absolutely.

If this man could make it his full time job to go down on you he would sign up immediately.

He finds it sexy when he’s in between your thighs or your straddling his face and you grip his hair and he gives you pleasure

He likes being able to make you cum with no expectation of getting the same treatment. If you offer to go down on him he won’t turn you down but he’s perfectly fine with eating you out and not getting head.

P=pace (slow and sensual or fast and rough)

Most of the time it has to be rough and quick because the two of you are afraid of being caught but if the two of you have time he’ll be romantic and slow

Q=quickie (opinions on quickies)

He’d prefer to take his time and drag it out but he knows that the two of you don’t really have that option so he’d rather have a full session but he doesn’t mind quickies

R=risk (do they experiment?)

James would love to try new things that you suggest at least once to see if it works for the two of you. He won’t experiment with anything that could seriously hurt you or get the two of you caught by your fathers because that’s a one way ticket to death. If you suggest it and he likes the sound of it he’ll try it.

S=stamina (how long can they go for)

If the two of you have time he could do for around six to seven rounds before he’d get tired out

T=toys (do they own toys)

James doesn’t. Again he doesn’t really get horny without you so he doesn’t see the need from them but he’s open to using some on you. As long as you haven’t used them with faith before.

U=unfair (do they tease?)

James is the biggest tease ever. He’ll purposely get you aroused and leave you high and dry sometimes if he’s feeling mean. That’s rare though. He will, however, edge you for hours at a time if you are bratty with him

V=volume (how loud do they get?)

He’s more of a growler when it comes to sex but if you go down on him he lets out breathy moans and whimpers. Only occasionally though

W=wild card (random headcannon)

James has a fantasy that when the two of you turn and are able to fly in human form of having sex on the cave roof or in the air above everybody else. He likes the risk of it and he also thinks it’s would be cool to use his abilities to fuck you

X=x-ray (what’s he packing)

I’d say around five and a half inches non erect and six and a half inches erect with a slightly bigger than average girth

Y=yearning (how high is his sex drive)

Without you it’s extremely low but with you it’s extremely high. If he’s got you alone he’s thinking about bending you over the nearest surface and fucking your brains out around 70 percent of the time but if your not into it he’ll immediately snap out of it

Z=zzz (how fast do they fall asleep afterwards)

He’ll only fall asleep after you fall asleep in his arms but it’s rare that the two of you get the chance considering you mostly have quickies.

Hope you guys enjoyed, let me know if I should do faiths version

Love ya ❤️

[finchers-ipad]

Hiiiiiiiii ^___^ Since ur a tyler has autism truther,.do u have any hcs surrounding that idea? If not u can ignore this 💀 but god I just want to talk to someone about it..

I won’t write a LOT about it right now but all I’ll say is if the narrator had a difficult time finding out he had it….it’s worse for Tyler. Well maybe. Either he got diagnosed as a kid (along with other stuff) or he’s just living up till the age he is now, not knowing or thinking he can even have it.. which I’m sure is not good that he doesn’t know why he is the way he is sometimes. I dunno <_>

hiii!! i’m sorry it has taken me so long to get to this, but i have been pondering this ask for a few days lmao. tbh i don’t have a lot of hcs surrounding tyler having autism (but i would love to hear yours!!). i also have been doing a bit of research to try and find the right terms to vocalise the ones i do have, but if i get things wrong let me know!! (tw: mention of sh)

the couple that i have is personally i don’t think tyler knows that he has it, i also don’t think he knows much about autism and therefore hasn’t identified any traits he has etc. he just knows that he struggles internally sometimes and he doesn’t know why.

tyler doesn’t have many sensory issues i wouldn’t think (looking at the state of the paper street house and the different clothing materials that he always wears). and the ones he does have manifest in hyposensitivity in touch, for example he can feel really under-stimulated in lighter situations this can be him needing to seek different textures and things but this could also be another reason he starts fights and maybe puts cigarettes out on himself.

hyposensitivity also manifests in taste for him, such as seeking out spicy foods and strong flavours. say if he was ordering pizza, i think he would get a concoction of every ingredient on the menu on one pizza (the narrator would be truly horrified at this btw).

i feel like tyler would become really hyperfixated on certain topics and go on rants. like in the film when he is ranting about capitalism and consumerism. he would want to soak up all knowlage about topics that interest him, when he was a a teenager or even as he got older he would spend hours at the library or reading books he picked up at the thrift store, just researching one topic.

also i headcannon that tyler has a random comfort item (i know this is really ooc because of his whole material possessions beliefs but hear me out) something like a really ratty old blanket. and eventually the narrator is like “um tyler can you throw that thing away, it’s gross, we’ll find you a new one” and tyler is just like “i’d like to keep it 😐….it still works”

buts that’s all i can really think of rn :)) as i said if you have any hc’s please share them because i am very curious and would love to talk about it!!!

[inkymoon16]

Chapter 2 - Dusk

Chapter 2 of my fic "Dusk Til Dawn" which can be found on AO3!

Native New Yorker - Odyssey

It was an ordinary day. Nothing out of the unusual. I woke up on time, which I always did, drank my tea, ate my toast, applied my makeup, threw my work uniform on, and was out the door in about forty-five minutes. I lugged my tote bag over my shoulder, which kept slipping off my coat - a ridiculously expensive purchase I had bought one night during a cocaine bender. I quit drugs the next day when I woke up to a fur coat perched on the edge of my bed, a half naked man snoring beside me, and a cat I had never seen before meowing at my door. 

This fur coat was a natural tan color and had cost me a hundred and fifty dollars, of which I certainly could not afford. I walked the four blocks to the diner where I worked, a cigarette perched between my fingers. My work uniform was simple - skin color stockings, and a stupid powder blue collared dress that came to my mid-thighs. I guess the owner wanted the “pretty girls to attract customers” but the only thing it attracted was unwanted comments. 

“Mornin’ Arthur.” I hollered when I sauntered through the door into the mercifully warm diner. 

My manager appeared from the back, carrying boxes from a new shipment, a cigarette hanging from his lips. “Mornin’ Aurora. You can start by sortin’ silverware and filling up those damn ketchup bottles. Closers neglected yet again.”

I rolled my eyes and huffed. The closers could never do anything fucking right. I worked mornings during the week and Friday and Saturday nights. Sunday was my only day off. I put a few quarters into the jukebox and soon David Bowie was serenading me as I rolled silverware into their respective paper napkins. 

As customers started to trickle in this Thursday morning, I abandoned my side work to serve them. The day passed as normal. I got off shift around 5:15 and after a hamburger, I slipped on my fur coat and headed back towards my apartment. These four blocks were often filled with annoying teenagers shouting things out at me. 

Complaints aside, I actually didn’t mind the walk. I relished the crisp air in the colder months and the soft breeze in the warmer months. This walk was a time for thinking. I zoned out and allowed any thoughts in my head to turn over and salivate. It usually took me approximately one cigarette to get home. Sometimes two if it was the summer and I was in a good mood. 

Greenpoint, Brooklyn, of which I called home, was nice enough. I thought back to the expensive brownstone that my aunt, whom I used to live with, owned in Williamsburg. She kicked me out when I was nineteen after she found me passed out in the bathtub the morning after a bender. I ashed my cigarette and walked up my steps to a brownstone that had been split into four different apartments. The flight of stairs up to my second floor residence was always littered with cigarette butts but at least it was safe. 

Once I took off my coat, I brewed a pot of tea. My aunt always had the most disgusting coffee brewing so I never got into that harsh black liquid. I shuddered just thinking about it. I wondered how she was doing. After I moved out, we called each other every now and then for a few months but that slowly trickled to nothing. It’s been two years since I talked to her. 

Our relationship was never that close and that was fine with the both of us. We were more like roommates than relatives. She had her life, I had mine. The only rule we had was to keep the noise down. I moved in with my aunt at ten years old when my mother was murdered. My father was so distraught over her death he fled the country and started a new life for himself. I never really cared too much to contact him. 

Only once when I was 17 did I try to find him but it led to too many dead ends. And that was the end of my curiosity. I found out during this research that my mother was shot during a gang fight when she got caught in the misfire. Sometimes I had nightmares about her mangled body on the street, cold and lifeless. The funeral was stuffy and quiet. I don’t recall much else.

I attended a public school in Brooklyn that I can’t quite recall. Could have been PS 144 or PS 81. I can’t say I learned too much. I had my first job waitressing at 16 and subsequently stopped caring about school. However, my aunt disagreed with this belief. She held education to a high regard and wouldn’t let me drop out. The only time she showed real parenting. I walked across the graduation stage alone and came home to my aunt who was two bottles of wine deep, passed out on the couch watching “Jeopardy” alone. 

We were both addicts and I guess that’s why we didn’t work out as “roommates”. Our front door was a revolving portal for men, booze, and bad decisions. I guess that’s where all my bad influence comes from, but I probably would have ended up the same way either way. 

I sipped my tea and stuffed my hand into a bag of chips. My apartment was small, more like a studio if anything. If you opened the door too fast, it would swing right into the kitchen, which then banged loudly against the counters, a clear design flaw. The kitchen was on the right, a living room/dining room straight ahead. A bedroom with an attached bathroom was on the left. 

All of my furniture and decorations I had bought second hand or taken for free off the street. I saved my money for things I actually cared about, like clothes, coats, shoes, makeup, and handbags. All the second hand stuff made the apartment eclectic and cozy. There was a large window that faced the west, so the setting sun would bring golden light and warmth in the afternoon. My brown tabby cat, whom I had named Stella, was currently in her small bed, sleeping next to the radiator. 

I went to the bathroom to take off my makeup, a sweet relief which could only be closely followed by taking off the entrapments of a bra. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and couldn’t help but to pick at my skin imperfections. Squeezing pimples was a nasty habit that I developed during my early tween years and found that I could never drop it.

My green eyes looked back at me. My lips and my eyes were always my favorite features of my face. I loved decorating my face with makeup. I always just got the cheap shit from the drugstore. Once a year I would splurge on a fancy perfume, usually around Christmas or my birthday. 

I ran a brush through my ginger hair which was slightly wavy, but not curly. I had bleached it once at sixteen but had let it fade since. I was debating cutting bangs now. I went back to the living area and grabbed a pack of Parliaments. 

I stepped out onto the fire escape, lighting a cigarette. I rubbed my shoulders, forgetting the chill. The city ambience washed over my body while I inhaled the nicotine. I had dreams once of being a journalist, imagining myself chasing down stories and criminals. That was quickly buried by the time I turned fifteen. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my life. 

I flicked my cigarette off the balcony and stepped back through the window. I grabbed a knit blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge, put a record on, and sat behind my typewriter. Even though my dreams of being a journalist disappeared, my love for writing never did. When I felt as though I was lost in life, aimless and depressed, I turned to writing. This meant I had dozens of unfinished stories scattered throughout the apartment. 

Most nights I would open a beer and sit in front of the television, watching whatever was on. Sleep would lull my eyes shut after a while and I would stumble to my bed, slip my pajamas on and flop onto my queen size bed which miraculously I had found on the side of the street. I had snatched it up, lugging it all the way home, cursing and crying under its tremendous weight. I saved up to buy a bed frame second hand for it. I did a thorough inspection of the mattress but two years later and I haven’t gotten bugs or itches from it. Being broke makes a person desperate. 

Once my beer reached the bottom of the bottle and my paper ran out of room on the typewriter, I decided to call it a night. I took a hot shower, and got into bed. After a few minutes I felt Stella jump up, meowing her presence to me.

[weenwrites]

Hi! I’m sorry if this is too hard but I never see any representation of Type One Diabetes and I was wondering if you could make a platonic fanfic of Garcello and Y/N, like he helps them go to appointments or let you vent to him about having type 1 diabetes. Also please ask me if you don’t know much about the condition I’m diabetic myself! Sorry for asking-

(I'm really sorry that this took such a long time, but I couldn't come up with any ideas to start the scenario off, so I hope that headcanons are fine. I did some research to write this, but if I got anything wrong about type-1 diabetes, let me know ˆˆ)

As your friend, Garcello would definitely want to help you out if you'd allow him to, so you should expect having chats with him about your condition. He'll ask questions such as: "what can I do to help?" "what would you like for him to do, to help you out?" "if you're experiencing low-blood sugar, what should he do for you?" "what foods can you eat and which ones are off the table?"

For someone so laid-back and easy-going, he does quite a lot of research on type-1 diabetes, but when it comes to actually helping and supporting you, he'll ask you those questions to make sure he's actually doing something that'll help you out. For example, if you'd want him to remind you to check your blood sugar whenever the two of you hang out, he'll try his best to keep that in mind and he'll gently remind you every now and then.

Or if you'd like him to comfort you whenever you feel distressed or if you're in any sort of physical discomfort due to the symptoms you feel, he'll try to help the best he can. In general he'd try and help you relax and do something you enjoy, go out for a walk, or the two of you can sit down and talk about it and rant to him, or if you want to do something else, that's fine with him so long as it helps you out. If your mental health starts to take a turn for the worse as a result of all the stress, he will not hesitate to intervene and talk to you, even suggesting therapy to help.

If you feel any physical pain like headaches or fatigue, he'll offer you some headache medicine or an ice pack and encourage you to lay down and get comfortable. If turning the lights off in the room helps with that, then he'll close the curtains, turn the lights down and dim the room.

He's willing to spend as much time as he needs to in order to learn how a glucagon spray works, or what he needs to do when you're experiencing low or high blood sugar. And now he usually keeps a snack or a drink on him to help raise your blood sugar or help with ketones if necessary.

He doesn't mind accompanying you to appointments, whether it be driving with you there, or walking. And while the two of you wait for the doctor to call you in, he could keep you entertained with a funny conversation, or the two of you could just enjoy one another's company in silence.

Whenever the two of you hang out—and if you like eating out at restaurants sometimes, he'll make sure to ask the server about the carbohydrate count if you forget to. Or if you prefer making your own food at home, he could help you prepare and cook it, but he's no Michelin star chef.

He tries his best to keep an eye out for any symptoms of high or low blood pressure, and whenever he thinks he's spotted one, he'll encourage you to check on your blood pressure. He'll say there's no harm in being too safe.

You already know this, but he has a bad smoking habit, and he sometimes tends to offer people a cigarette. Of course he learns that smoking can be really harmful to your health, so he tries to keep himself from smoking around you and he leaves any cigar pack he has at home. Despite being so neglectful of his own health at times, he doesn't extend the same courtesy to any friends of his. Especially if he cares a whole bunch about them. So in general, he'll make sure to do his best to help you take care of your own by providing whatever support you'll allow him to.

[axkirak]

Till Death Do Us Part│#TheLastofUs

Pairings:  joel miller x Black!reader [From The Last of Us : TV Series]

Major character death/Heavy Angst/Canon Divergence  

Synopsis: You are Sara Miller's mother (who recently divorced Joel) and your daughter was killed. You blame Joel and want to kill him, but as the Fireflies' leader, you need Joel's help getting Ellie and yourself to Vaccine Research Center #TheLastofUs  

AN: I've been away for a while due to being busy with my regular job and finishing up other novels. Plus, translating this fanfiction requires high concentration. However, we've finally reached Part 4, which means we're just one part away from the final. Let's explore together what the secret Y/N been trying to keep hidden from Joel.

Taglist: @flaneurpastel​ (If you want to be added in this fic, just tell me in reply)

➡  Previous : Next

Act 4 : Our Destiny

The colors of the autumn leaves began to unfold gradually, transitioning from yellow to orange, until every tree was dyed vibrant red. The air turned cold, causing you to tighten your jacket.  How long has it been since then? Even you were unsure. Since the outbreak of the pandemic, you haven't really been keeping track of time. But what you knew was that it had been longer than you had anticipated. at least almost half a year. Ever since you, Joel, and Ellie set out on this journey together.

Numerous events unfolded along the way, putting all of you in almost life-threatening situations several times. It wasn't just the infected that posed a threat, but also humans who sought to harm and kill for their own survival. like a cannibalistic group that viewed strangers as nothing more than food. Joel suffered injuries from these encounters, and you and Ellie were on the verge of losing hope. But just in time, help arrived unexpectedly. It came in the form of someone familiar, Tommy Miller, who coincidentally crossed paths with you.

Fate can be quite ironic. You thought so when Tommy told you that it wasn't just you who had a history with Joel. Tommy himself had a bitter fallout with Joel that severed their relationship for a decade. When they went their separate ways, he embarked on a solitary journey and happened to find love with Maria, the leader of the Jackson community. He made the firm decision to settle down here. He never thought he would see Joel's face again, let alone yours. As for Tommy, seeing you and Joel together again felt like seeing a ghost in broad daylight, not to mention the presence of the unfamiliar young girl who accompanied you. It felt surreal to him.

"Thinking back,I tried so hard to make you and Joel fall in love again. But it just didn't work out," Tommie reminisced with a hint of laughter in his eyes. Aside from the deepening lines, the increasing wrinkles, and the graying hair, Tommie seemed unchanged, especially with the smile on his face. "Who would have thought that I would eventually succeed? Even if it took a little longer," he continued.

"Before you start overthinking, this has nothing to do with you. It's all about the mission," you replied. 

Tommy shrugged and turned to the flickering flame of the cigarette held between his fingers. The white smoke spread widely as he exhaled. He caught a glimpse of you through the haze, his face displaying a serious expression that was different from just a moment ago. "So, tell me, what is this important mission really about?" he asked earnestly.

You responded to his question with silence, just as you did with Joel when he first asked you about this.

Although Tommy was not a stranger to you, you still didn't trust him enough to reveal the truth about Ellie being immune to the infection. It was too risky. If this information leaked prematurely, it could lead to worldwide chaos or, worse, put Ellie in great danger. She would become a valuable commodity that everyone would want to possess, just to control the future of the cure.

Keeping these matters a secret for as long as possible is the safest option for you and Ellie.

Before you were willing to share the entirety of the mission with Joel, it took a considerable amount of time for you to fully trust him enough to entrust him with the remaining tasks. This was in case things took a turn for the worse and you couldn't make it to the final destination. You had to persuade Joel for a long time because he saw your mission as just another fleeting desire that would ultimately end in failure, just like in the past. But nonetheless, Joel reluctantly nodded and accepted your plea. He spent hours during the journey with Ellie, teaching her about firearm usage and other survival skills that she should know to protect herself from potential dangers. It proved to be highly beneficial in the future when you had to face hunters and cannibals.

The events that unfolded were harrowing for everyone, especially for Ellie, as she had taken someone's life for the first time. Of course, she was just a young girl, and death was not something easily accepted or comprehended in her first experience. It deeply affected her psyche, more than she let on. Ellie became withdrawn, quiet, and distant. She displayed no intention of disturbing or engaging in conversation, as she had done before. It was as if the innocence in her had been stripped away, along with the person she had killed.

Joel's hard exterior began to soften, and he constantly comforted Ellie in his own way. He spoke to her as much as he could and stayed with her whenever she needed him. Even Tommy was surprised by this and repeatedly questioned you about whether anything had affected Joel's mental state from the recent battles. But for you, who had spent enough time with them, it was not surprising to notice the positive changes in Joel. You saw his tender side towards Ellie as well as the bond that had formed between them.

Once, pain used to be the thing that bound you and Joel together, and now it had become something that bonded him and Ellie as well, without them even realizing it. 

Your silence made Tommy sigh. He did not expect anything more from you, knowing that you wouldn't easily open up. He put the cigarette down on the white porch railing and glanced outside. The afternoon air was pleasant. Women were busy watering plants, while children helped sweep the fallen leaves diligently. As for the men, they were busy handling heavy loads and organizing supplies for future distribution. These ordinary ways of life were once easily visible to everyone over two decades ago, but not now, in a world on the brink of collapse and with humanity facing the risk of extinction.

That made you realize the importance of this mission and understand why people in Fireflies were willing to sacrifice their own lives. They were willing to do anything they could to achieve simple happiness, just like what you see now, which has become something that everyone can truly experience.

Not long after, you saw Joel and Ellie walking towards you. Joel's physical condition had improved significantly, but he still limped slightly as he walked. Ellie walked beside him, moving slowly, and wore an exasperated expression directed at Joel while muttering something. But when she saw you, she raised her hand and waved with a wide smile, looking so vibrant that she almost resembled the old Ellie. You smiled and waved back, while Tommy, who was standing next to you, kept his eyes on you the whole time.

"I don't know what you two are up to—a family role-play?" Tommy spoke without looking directly at you, but you could clearly sense his feelings through his voice and the glances he threw at Joel. "But I haven't seen Joel this happy since then."

You knew exactly what Tommy meant.

since the day Sarah left forever.

Joel had changed since that day, changed enough to make his younger brother despise him to the point of insupportable, and they had to separate and go their separate ways. But in the end, they found each other again and realized how much they truly loved each other. That's Tom's story, which is not much different from yours, after all.

There was a faint smile on Tom's face before it quickly disappeared when he turned back to give you another glance. His large hand reached out and grabbed your arm tightly. His face looked genuinely serious.

"I just want him to be happy. I hope you won't ruin it."

This is something you want even more than Tom does—to make Joel happy again.

But you can't promise that you won't ruin it someday.

You can only hope to prolong this happiness for as long as possible.

________________________________

"Can't sleep, huh?"

Upon hearing Joel's voice, you decided to forget about sleep after struggling to keep your eyes closed for a while. It had been dark in the room for a while, but there was still a faint glow from the bright moonlight outside the window. A gentle breeze swayed the curtains. You turned sideways towards Joel, who was lying next to you, and saw his eyes gazing at you.

"Did I wake you up?"

"No, I couldn't sleep either," he sighed before raising his arm slightly to let you snuggle closer to him. "I was talking to Tom earlier this evening."

You furrowed your brow, unable to help but think about Tom's face and the previous conversation between you and him. "What were you talking about?"

"Tom wants me to take a break from everything I'm doing." Joel lowered his voice, unsure if he should say it, but eventually he spoke up. "He said my body isn't ready for long journeys yet., He's happy to take Ellie and you to our destination."

Your heart throbs with conflicting emotions, one of which is that you don't want to be separated from him even for a moment. You've spent so much time together that you can't imagine a journey without him. And two, you think this could be a good option for Joel and for yourself. Because if you had the choice, you wouldn't want to involve him in this matter.

Deep down, you know in your heart that all of this is not just about wanting to help the world. It's also about your own desire that has brought you and him this far.

"And what do you think?" Your voice remains calm, though trembling, awaiting the answer.

"I haven't given him an answer yet," he says, holding you tighter than before. Joel's arms around your body provide both comfort and reassurance. "I'm not denying that I once thought I didn't want to do it anymore."

"I don't want you to do it either," you finally decide to say. "If you don't want to..."

"It's not like that." Joel interrupts you before you can finish your sentence. "I'm just…thinking. What would it be like if we didn't do it? What would it be like if we stopped right here and chose to stay together?"

You fall silent.  You wish you could tell him how much you desire it to be exactly like that, even more than he does.

However, both Joel and you are well aware that it's an excessive hope. too much for someone who has been shattered and can never return to being whole again.

"I want you. I want Ellie. I want everything we have. I don't want to lose it." 

His face is difficult to read in the darkness, but his trembling voice resonates clearly, causing a pang of pain in your heart. You cup his face, drawing it closer, before pressing a gentle and tender kiss on his dry lips. Your lips then trail gently along his cheeks and forehead, as if your touch could soothe his troubled soul even just a little.

Joel kisses you back before gently resting his forehead against yours. Your gaze meets his in a silent harmony amidst the fearful darkness of the moment.

"I'm afraid I'll ruin it." His voice quivers softer than usual, as if he's wrestling with himself.

You've never seen Joel like this—afraid and vulnerable.

"You won't ruin it," you firmly affirm, conveying the confidence you have in him. "I believe in you."

You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him slowly, savoring every touch and delicately tasting each sensation.  Your eyelids gradually close as Joel lifts himself above your body, his lips pressing fervently along the curve of your neck, reaching your shoulder. while his hands explore beneath your clothes, causing you to shudder with gentle and intentional caresses.

"Are you okay with this?" Joel asks, uncertain and slightly embarrassed, prompting you to reminisce about your first night together, the beginning of your relationship, and all the special moments. It was a magical night for you when you and Joel were younger.

But apart from the passing of time, nothing has changed between you and him.

"I'm okay," and your answer remains the same as it was decades ago.

You remember the warmth of his hands sliding up your hips, just like when you used to dance together in the past. And you remember the gentle touch of his lips that sensually pressed against your bare skin after swiftly removing your clothes. As he runs his tongue along your body, it is still evident that you desire him just as much as he desires you.

His eyes, his breath, his slow movements, the gentle and warm touch, and the way he showers you with love—you want to remember every single detail of it all.

The intense desire and overwhelming joy spread through every nerve cell, causing you to grab onto him, knowing that Joel is the only anchor you have. The calling of each other's names fills the room as you both climax, reaching your final destination together.

Everything comes to an end, leaving only a lingering sense of contentment that reverberates throughout your body. Joel lies back on the bed and pulls you into his arms. You effortlessly snuggle into his arms, resting your head on his broad chest, feeling a complete sense of tranquility.

Fatigue slowly lulls you into drowsiness, but you are confident that you heard Joel say something to you while his lips pressed gentle kisses on your forehead. However, his voice sounded distant and faint, as if it were in a dream, and you have no chance to ask again as you quickly drift into a deep sleep.

________________________________

A few days after that, the thing you feared the most happened.

Ellie disappeared. That's what you heard from Tommy, who had been notified earlier by the scouting unit that a young girl had escaped from the camp along with a horse.

This wasn't the first time Ellie had done something like this. Once, she told you about the time when she was still studying at a military school under FEDRA's curriculum—a place she described as a "miserable hellhole filled with power-hungry maniacs." It was another significant reason that led Ellie to decide to sneak out of school to go on an adventure outside the quarantine zone with Riley. That event ended with both of them being attacked by infected people and Ellie discovering her special immunity

But Jackson's community was not like Ellie's miserable military school. It was filled with peace and tranquility that couldn't be found in any other quarantine camp. And you knew that Ellie wanted to be here. There was no reason for her to choose to run away without telling anyone, or perhaps there was something more that you hadn't paid enough attention to.

Joel was just as puzzled as you about this. He seemed more worried than you. "Damn it, Ellie! What are you thinking?" He muttered loudly after hearing Tommy's words, his voice filled with frustration. But when he turned to face you, you could clearly see the concern in his eyes.

Tommy confirmed with certainty that there were no infected in the surrounding area of the community, so Ellie wouldn't be in danger (you weren't worried because she couldn't be infected). He was confident that Ellie wouldn't have gone far. Moreover, the fact that she didn't cover her tracks while escaping made it easier to trace for someone who was skilled in tracking. The three of you quickly set out on horseback, following the trail. The hoofprints of the horse that had led you to an abandoned house about five kilometers away from Tommy's community

It was still a well-preserved house, a small two-story yellow wooden house that you could imagine belonged to a kind-hearted grandmother who liked to sit on the porch in the evenings. And perhaps some old grandparents and their grandchildren might be living or have become infected inside this house. You quickly dismounted from the horse, keeping your gun close to your pants in case of emergency, and then reached out to touch Joel's arm before he rush into the house

"Give the girls some time to talk, alright, boys?" You said it with a teasing tone, although you knew Joel and Tommy were not in the mood to joke with you. The temperature was over seventy degrees, hot and uncomfortable, making everyone irritable and on edge. "Promise it won't take more than ten minutes, or even faster." You emphasized that when you saw Joel's disapproving gesture.

You made that decision because you knew that Joel and Ellie were similar, except that Joel was more stubborn than Ellie. They had argued and sulked with each other many times, and when both of them were not in a good mood, facing each other now could be worse. It was something you didn't want to happen at all

And another reason was that you believed Ellie trusted you more than anyone else. It was something called a girl's bond, something that men would never understand. You experienced it with Sarah as well. You and your daughter used to have special moments two or three times a week, mostly open conversations, giving advice, and sharing little secrets that only you and Sarah knew. Secrets that you wouldn't tell Joel, and Sarah wouldn't tell her dad. Ellie and you had something similar, and you hoped she would open up to you like Sarah did.

But the situation turned out to be the opposite of what you had thought. Ellie didn't want to open up with you. In fact, she wanted you to be the one to speak to her

"You're going to leave me, aren't you?"

Ellie was hiding in the upstairs bedroom of the house. She was sitting on a small bed covered with a faded pink blanket that might have belonged to a little girl. Her fierce and sorrowful eyes stared at you as you stood by the door. You clenched your jaw and looked at her, confused and puzzled at the same time.

"Why would you think that?"

"I heard Tommy and Joel talking. Are you going to send me away with Tommy, right?"

You took a long, deep breath, feeling a mixture of anxiety and relief at the same time. "Listen, Ellie, Tommy is just concerned, and Joel is still injured. But even if Joel can't go, I'm not planning to leave you with Tommy. We both have to keep moving..."

"There was no 'We' from the beginning!" Ellie cut you off with a mocking tone. "Since you gave me the gun, I knew."

For a moment, you were stunned by her words. sounded like she penetrated deep into your heart, knowing things that you weren't ready to reveal at the moment. "Ellie, I don't understand what you're talking about," you lied. You knew exactly what Ellie meant, but you weren't ready to address it now, no matter how much Ellie wanted you to speak.

You took a step towards her, but Ellie quickly retreated, glaring at you with more anger than before. "Don't pretend to be my mom. You're not my real mom. Not at all," she said bitterly.

If words could hurt, Ellie's words felt like a full-force blow, more painful than any physical punch could ever be.

Ellie was right . She wasn't your daughter, and you treated her like one simply because of your guilt, because you wanted to compensate for the loss of your own daughter.

The shock and pain on your face made Ellie regain her composure. Her posture softened, filled with remorseful feelings as she spoke to you, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay," you lied again, not wanting her to feel any worse than she already did. But this sorrow weighed heavily on you, and you couldn't hide it well. You gritted your teeth, trying to speak normally without bursting into tears. "It's true that you're not my daughter, but that doesn't mean that my concern for you isn't real."

The young girl hesitated for a moment, then lowered her gaze to her own feet. You noticed her reddened nose, almost on the verge of crying. Her posture seemed smaller, and a sense of guilt filled her voice as she spoke to you. "I thought you cared about me because I was the cure for this damn fungus."

"I won't deny that it's one of the reasons, but it's not everything," you said. This time, you moved directly in front of Ellie, and she didn't flinch. You knelt down to be at eye level with her, and gently wiped away a tear from her cheek. "I care about you. And we all care about you. Me, Joel, from everything we've been through together. That's not enough to make you believe me?"

There were minutes of silence. Ellie raised her hand to wipe her tears before sitting still, looking as if she was deep in thought. Her shoulders hunched, and she seemed both calmer and sadder at the same time. "You said you cared about me, but you're going to leave me... just like everyone else in my life," she muttered, as if to herself.

"I never intended to leave you, Ellie."

"No, you're lying." Ellie's voice hardened once again. Her sharp green eyes pierced into yours, as if she were trying to see through all the things you had hidden "I can see it in your eyes that you're lying. You'll leave Joel. You'll leave me. You'll leave us."

You averted your gaze from her. It was painful.

"I'm just scared," Ellie reiterated, her voice trembling. "I'm scared."

"We're all scared, Ellie. Believe me, I have to force myself to sleep every night with the fear of what will happen tomorrow." Your breath was caught with confusion and contemplation. It was easy when fear took hold of your heart, but it was difficult to convey it to someone else. "Afraid of what's yet to come. Afraid of what's uncertain. Afraid of the end of us."

She remained silent, not protesting or resisting. It was a good sign of willingness to listen.

"I won't promise you that we'll be together forever because 'forever' isn't real. You know it, and I know it. Someday, it will happen, and I'm afraid just like you. I just... I just want us to spend as much time together as possible, so that we won't regret missed opportunities and things we've never done."

"Like you and Joel," Ellie muttered softly but loud enough for you to hear.

"Something like that," you smiled faintly. "And Sarah too. My daughter with him. We lost our daughter because she was shot dead."

Ellie's eyes widened with shock, and her face immediately contorted with sadness and pity. "You care about me because I remind you of your daughter, don't you?"

"Yes, but it's also true, just like what you said earlier. I'm not your mother, and you're not my daughter."

"I didn't mean it." Ellie's voice trembled softly. "I'm just angry... I didn't mean it."

"We all do foolish things when we're angry." You placed your hand on hers and gently squeezed it, soothingly. "I've done it many times."

"Are you saying I'm foolish?"

That almost sounded like a sentence Joel used to say to you before, just changing the word "stings" to "foolish." You thought about it, and you couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle. Stings and foolishness—two words that perfectly described Joel and Ellie

Ellie didn't laugh with you. She was serious but also cautious. "So, that's why you're leaving Joel, because of Sarah?"

You hesitated. That wasn't the whole reason, but it was the darkest part of it all.

"And the reason you'll leave me and Joel—what is it exactly?" Ellie continued with her questioning—a line of questioning you didn't want to answer. But you knew she wouldn't stop until you gave her an honest answer. Until you unraveled it for her.

"Love, Ellie. That's a part of love. Knowing when to hold on and when to let go," you paused, surprised at yourself for being able to speak the word "love" so easily. "And no matter what happens, I want you to know how much I love you and Joel."

Ellie lunged forward, almost knocking you off balance as you managed to catch the fourteen-year-old in your arms. You laughed and said, "My back is completely broken." and Ellie let out a half-laugh before wrapping her arms tightly around your neck, clinging to you like a drowning person grasping for a lifeline. Her body trembled with suppressed sobs, and you felt the wetness of her tears against your skin.

"Does Joel know about this?" she asked, her voice breaking the silence that had stretched longer than before. It was a long, quiet moment of contemplation About time, love, and death

"He doesn't know yet, but I'll tell him myself," you replied.

A rhythmic knock on the door interrupted the conversation between the two of you, and you saw Joel standing there, hugging his chest against the door frame. You couldn't read his expression, but you could sense that he wasn't in a good mood. It's possible that more than ten minutes have passed.

He wore a stern expression, and with one hand, he tapped his old wristwatch, the one you and Sarah had helped choose as a birthday gift for him on his thirty-second birthday. He had kept it well. "Time's up. We can go now," he said bluntly.

Ellie quickly slipped her feet out the door to escape Joel, fearing she would have to endure a long scolding from him. But Joel paid no attention to the young girl passing by, only focusing his gaze on you with the same expression as before—a face that made it impossible to predict what he was feeling.

You can't help but feel anxious. Maybe he will hear what you say to Ellie. And if he were to ask you, like Ellie did, you probably couldn't answer him honestly. Even though you've been thinking about telling Joel, it's not the right time yet. It's not the appropriate moment for you and him.

But in the end, Joel didn't ask you a single word about what happened in that house. Throughout the journey back to Jackson’s community, he remained quiet and silent. It was a silence as calm as the sea before the arrival of a big wave. A silence that made you feel uneasy.

Even though he didn't speak, you know he must have heard it.

[andi1904]

Pretty Little Daisys - Chapter One

♡ a/n: Hi guys! I'm so happy to finally be uploading the first chapter of this story :3

Every chapter will have a song associated with it and all the parts in bold will be the characters talking in English, otherwise, the full dialogue and thoughts are in Korean. So sorry for any mistakes, and I hope you like it a lot!! Good reading :)

♡ Chapter Song: Strawberry & Cigarettes - Troye Sivan

♡ Chapter Warnings: mentions of alcohol and alcohol use, mentions of cigarettes and cigarettes use, mentions of enteric feeding.

September.2021

There I was walking on campus, hands in my pockets and blasting Nirvana on my earphones. There’s not much to do when you have two hours of lunch between classes, other than walking around campus and just doing some people-watching. My friends decided to keep on working on the essay we needed to submit about our last class, but since I started it earlier, I was able to get this time all to myself.

The campus is no news to me since I have been here for about five years now. I’ve done an undergraduate program in Food and Animal Biotechnology, at CALS (College of Agriculture and Life Sciences of the Seoul National University) and decided to expand my studies this year, hoping to graduate as a FoodTech. In the beginning, I was pretty much reluctant about what major I wanted to go for, but since I loved chemistry, biology, and food (obviously), thought no other course would suit me. Luckily, I ended up loving this area, and I’m thinking of working on food development and research in the future. It’s a really important area, where I can develop food appropriate for people that are hospitalized and need to be fed by a nasogastric tube. Nurses need to administrate the food, but we are the ones who help to research new types of food that can be turned into a paste thin enough to fit on the tube, while also giving less bad experience to the patient. I developed a love for this type of research in my internship at one company that specialized only in this. I’m hoping I can further my studies since I’m starting a project and research on enteral feeding.

I decided to settle for a little coffee shop we have on campus, especially since it’s a pretty good day and it’s a bright sun at this time. I focus my attention on a group of people, three girls and one boy all in long white coats, while talking to someone who seems like a teacher. I thought health students had only classes on the Yeongeon Campus, not here at the Gwanak one, they’re literally on different sides of the Han River.

I kept my attention on them, and I could make out that they were international students from their looks: the guy was tall and had medium hair with some curls and freckles all over his face. His attire is simple because their coats hide almost every inch of clothing that they could be wearing, but he has long straight blue jeans. The girl next to him is almost the same height as him, with short blond hair and long trousers with some flowers printed on them. The other girl seems the older out of all of them, is black with long braided hair, put on a low ponytail, and has green trousers underneath her coat.

The last girl is the one that caught my attention the most: porcelain skin and a slim figure, she looked like every Korean’s guy dreams. She was the shortest out of the rest of the group, had black stockings with a black miniskirt and white Mary Jane’s. I could only see her hair partly since she was the one facing me, but it was black and seemed long. As for the face, the girl has the looks of a model, like an art painting portrayed by Vincent Van Gough himself. She looked Korean or Japanese at least, with sharp double-lid eyes, a beautiful jawline, a slim nose, and full strawberry-painted lips. Right under her left eye, she had two moles, only adding a unique touch to her appearance. She had the most serious face out of all of them and seemed focused.

I couldn’t tell if she acknowledged that every guy who passed by was turning heads to look at her and I could spare one or two glances in my direction, but I couldn’t tell if she was looking at me or just in my direction. They started walking away, just as I felt a pair of hands gripping my shoulders tight:

-       What are you looking at man? – Mingyu said right behind me.

-       Just thinking why the hell are health students here on this campus, weren’t they supposed to be on Yeongeon?

He turned his away around, picking up the chair from the table in front of us and sitting just across me:

-       Well, from what I’ve heard they’re nursing students from London. I guess they’re here for the next semester.

-       You’re pretty informed on this matter. – and there I rolled my eyes to him – Why aren’t they in the nursing school?

-       I guess it’s because they’re still meeting the campus here, I don’t know. – he said shrugging his shoulders – But I saw you couldn’t keep your eyes off the Korean girl.

So, you’re Korean then…

-       Well, she just cached my attention, I guess…

-       You can get to meet her, – and there my eyes lit for the very first time in a while – she’s probably going to a welcoming party that they’re hosting in NB2 Hongdae.

-       They do anything to go clubbing, but anyway, is it tonight?

-       Yup. I think you should come, Dong-Min is also coming.

-       Fine, I’ll go. Are you going to order a cab?

And he just nodded his head. Guess the universe wants us to meet up fairy.

There I stood, in front of my body-sized mirror, looking at my outfit: all-black attire, Calvin Klein t-shirt with a short-sleeved shirt, wide pants with white details, and a pair of combat boots on my feet. My hair has gotten longer, so I decided to put it on a half-up half-down style.

I think I look nice for a night out…

Finally heard the bell of my dorm ringing and I yelled that I was coming, luckily, I live alone. When I opened the door, there they stood: Mingyu and Dong-Min.

-       Cinderella can’t be late tonight, you got duties to answer to. – Mingyu started, but I looked at him with a question mark on my face.

-       Common, you’ve got to show heaven to the girl. – now it was Dong-Min forming a smirk on his lips.

-       No need to thank me, - and then I felt Mingyu's arm on my shoulders – but I just found out she’s friends with Hoseok and Minji.

Hoseok and Minji, brother and sister.

Hoseok was an acquaintance of the three of us. He had finished an undergraduate and graduate program in Physical Education and just started working at a school where my little niece studies.

On the other hand, Minji is one of our colleagues who decided to take a master’s degree in Biosystems Engineering. We did our undergraduate program together and I guess she was the only type of girl that I could speak to who wasn’t trying to shove her tongue down my throat or other places. Minji was the kind of girl who would give a helping hand, no matter who you were or how you treated her. Even though we ended up in different graduate programs, we kept in touch as much as possible and would try to hang out as a group every time we could.

-       Cool, she might be nice like Minji. Is she going tonight?

And the two of them nodded. We then left for our cab, or the latter we were, the harder it would be to get inside NB2.

As I was anticipating, NB2 was crowded to the top, mostly SNU students. Every university around here frequently hosts parties, and each one of them has its preferred club: ours is NB2. This was a club known for playing great hip-hop, but I think tonight it will be playing more international songs, just because it’s a welcoming party for the new students, and you were one of them.

The security guard gave us the bracelets after we paid our entrance and, luckily, when we got inside the environment was still quite calm, just a few people grinding on each other, but other than that nothing much was happening. We decided to go to the first floor, even though the space is smaller, the vibe is a lot better. And there I finally saw you, also full in black: an off-shoulder short dress, stockings with knee-high boots, and a bow on your half-up half-down. You also had pretty little moon earrings on your ears. I could see you close to the people that you were this morning, but then you started walking away, going to the balcony outside.

-       I know you saw her. Go outside, smoke a cigarette, and talk to her. – said Mingyu, pointing out to the exit sign leading there.

And before I knew it, my legs betrayed me and started walking by themselves while I found myself following you. Then the cold hair hit my face since it was the end of summer and September was already starting to get a little cooler at night. I decided to light a cigarette right in the corner and when I looked up, you were staring at me. I felt my heart in my throat, and it just started beating faster and faster with every step you took in my direction until you were standing in front of me, and I could finally smell your fruity perfume and see how smaller than me you were, even with heels:

-       Light my cigarette? – were the first words that came out of those strawberry lips – I forgot to buy a lighter here.

Your voice was sweet, and your eyes blinked a lot in this spare time, you were probably nervous. I’ve always been kind of keen on knowing new stuff and getting obsessed with it, that’s why I got to understand so much about body language.

I simply nodded and handed you my bluish lighter, with an opened skull with plants inside. You took a second to look at it and expressed a little smile while murmuring “cute”, then lit your cigarette and scurried your body towards mine, against the wall I was in. I decided to not end our conversation with that:

-       I’m Jeon – I initiated focusing my eyes on yours – Jeon Jeongguk.

-       Lee Areum. – you said, looking back at me.

-       You came from London, right?

-       Yeah, – you started adjusting your posture – We’ll stay for 6 months and then we’ll leave to end our program.

-       What program are you in?

-       Nursing with registration as a children’s nurse, final year, and you?

-       I’m in the first year of my graduate as a FoodTech. – you smile at this.

-       That seems cool.

I just loved how you started to speak to me with so much confidence that you skipped formal language and acted like we were the same age. Most girls do that when they’re interested in an older guy, though I don’t know if you did that on purpose or not, you’re not as easy to read as others.

-       Your Korean is pretty good.

-       I was born here. I just moved to the UK because of my degree.

Your eyes start trailing my outfit, stopping at my arm fully covered in tattoos.

-       I like them. Could even tell you were a tattoo artist.

And I found myself laughing at that. You can’t see all of them, but I can show you:

-       I’ve got more, my arm is fully closed ‘till my shoulder. - by this time, I had already finished my cigarette and you had finished yours – Mind if I buy you a shot?

To that, you never answered… Only smiled, picked my hand up, and started leading me inside, to the bar. I could see some guys eyeing us, and I knew they were jealous since you had already found your guy for the night. Mingyu and Dong-min were nowhere to be found, but I couldn’t care more, as I kept my eyes fully on the back of your head. When we got to the bar, you looked at me and asked me if “Fireball shot was ok” for me. I remember that I only drank that once since it was a rush of sugar and it only tasted like cinnamon, but I agreed.

You called out for the bartender and waited a little bit until you asked for two Fireball shots. I paid for them, and it went down as fast as it got on the table.

-       Can you take another one? I pay this time.

And to that, I wouldn’t disagree. Your voice was always so stern and so assertive in your choice, I liked your confidence. This time you asked for a Tequila Rose shot, strawberry and cream flavor, that fitted just who you were. You paid for them and took my hand again while leading us to the dancefloor. You didn’t need words to make me come after you, I just instantly followed.

Then you stopped and turned your wheels on the spot, meeting my eyes and smiling. The DJ started playing Jay Park’s “Mommae” and I finally felt your hands on my arms while we started dancing. You knew what you were doing when you let me only face your back and glued my hips to yours. My hands tried to guide you instantly, though you didn’t need it, and we stayed like that for a while.

It felt like forever, till you stopped for a while and turned again to me. Your eyes met mine again and you started traveling through my face again and again, only stopping on my lips and looking at my lip ring. My eyes instantly fall right on your lips, full and coated with a pretty pinkish lipstick. Before I knew it, your arms traveled their way to my shoulders, your body was being pulled close to mine and you were finally shutting our lips together. I paused for a second but gave in quickly.

You tasted like alcohol and cigarettes but in such a nice way. Strawberry was the strongest flavor, cinnamon was long gone ago forgotten. I bet I tasted the same as you, a taste that would always remind me of you: Strawberries and Cigarettes.

You finally pulled yourself away, staring me deep in the soul and telling me with a stern voice:

-       This is all you get for tonight. I don’t give myself this easily on the first night.

And there I blinked. Never met a girl… no, a Woman like you. You knew what you wanted, and you detailed all the rules here, instead of just letting yourself give in like girls in the past. Then I saw you turning your heels in the direction of the bathroom, but I kept frozen, now looking at your hair balancing at the rhythm of your hips, to the imaginary wind. After what seemed like an eternity of just standing there, I decided to glue myself to the wall near the women’s restroom and wait for you. Didn’t take long until I finally saw your beautiful face and found myself smiling again, such was the power you had.

-       Think I’mma call it a night, – you started – I must wake up early and prepare our next week here.

-       How are you going to the dorms? By cab? – you just nodded – Well, I can make you some company, just so you’re not alone.

-       Fine for me, just going to warn my friends that I’m leaving, don’t want no one disappearing on our second day here.

And we both laugh at that. You bid goodbye to your colleagues and turn back to my direction. This time, I was the one picking up your hand and leading us outside, since I had called the cab while you were away.

Finally, I saw the Orange Hyundai pulling up on the curb, and the registration matched the one on my phone. I opened the door to you, and we both got into the back seat. Your fingers crawled to my hand that had its palm facing down, and I intertwined our hands. Between giggles and little whispers in the ear, we finally made it to the Yeongeon dorms. You seemed so closed off, but now I finally saw you in a different light.

We swap numbers and Instagram usernames finally bidding our goodbyes. You were ready to put on your door code, but I pulled your hand and made you face me:

-       It was nice meeting you.

 And you just smiled widely and decided to steal another taste of my lips. I stayed there looking at you one last time and finally headed over to the lobby of the dorms again, after hearing a door clicking behind me. I sat on the couch there and decided to head home, even if it was still 3 AM. When I finally arrived, time flew by, and I found myself scrolling through your profile countless times.

You were a beautiful woman, my kind of woman.

And I dozed off.

The weekend rolled by quickly, as always. The only difference was that on Saturday evening, my teacher of Advanced Research Project asked me if I could give a little training to you and your colleagues regarding the project I was developing about enteric feeding into children that were under ten years old. It was the biggest project in my life and obviously, I accepted. Not only could I impress you with my knowledge, but you could give me a better understanding of that topic through a nurse’s eyes. Since then, I spent the whole time preparing a little class from the point of view of a FoodTech and preparing myself for the English part, since it was not my best quality.

And I finally stood in front of you again and your colleagues. I could see you guys back into the long white coats and could no longer see your outfits on fully. Finally, I knew all your names and saw you guys properly: the guy, Noah, in a more formal attire than the first time I saw him. The blonde, Olivia, kept her hair in two short pigtails and swapped to little yellow jeans. The taller girl, Sophia, was in a dress this time, almost to her feet.

And you… You were as beautiful as ever.

Dark blue cargo jeans and a crossed white shirt. Hair low on half-up half-down with a claw clip on the back. Soft dangling earrings and a little moon necklace… you must love the moon.

There it stood my teacher, talking to the teacher that’s guiding you guys. From what I can recall they will be planning an activity in a while, that’s the reason they asked me to give a little helping hand in here. I won’t think twice as long as I see your beautiful face again.

I just loved looking at those two moles under your eye, they were so unique. They made you, you… And there I felt my heart skipping one or two beats, every single time you looked my way. Your orbs looked bigger the more I stared at them, and I wondered if noticed that I couldn’t take my eyes off you, no matter how many people were in the room with us… I had just learned your name in English was Amanda, and it made all the sense since it meant lovable or worthy of love, and you were worthy of everyone’s love…

The teachers bid their goodbyes and I was finally alone with all of you. The nerves finally started kicking in when I felt my palms more sweaty than normal, and my heart was on my throat… I want to impress you…

-       So, my name is Jeongguk. I’m in the first year of a graduate as a FoodTech and I’m here to talk a little more about the project I’m developing, which includes a huge study on the process of making the enteric food that you guys administrate through nasogastric tubes. – to that they all nodded, so I think I’m doing a good job – Last year, on my internship to finish my undergraduate program, I stayed at a company that specialized only on this and decided to further my studies on the topic.  

I had to take a little breath, but so far so good. You keep your eyes focused on all I’m saying, that makes me happy.

-       I decided to study how to process better food for children in hospitals that are under ten years old since it’s already a traumatic experience to be fed by a tube. I can’t imagine if I was a kid that young and someone told me I couldn’t eat my favorite ice cream or my huge hamburger for a long time or forever. That’s why we are making studies on how to make the food have a little better flavor.

The session ended quickly, and I got to learn a lot about some tricks you guys have to do in the cases of food administration. By the end, we went to a classroom and did a little activity where we could taste different types of pastes that we produced and then were administered onto the tubes. Some tasted normal, others were terrible, and everyone made the most disgusting faces ever. We were able to take some good laughs from that.

Whilst we were leaving, I had to talk to you a little more:

-       Hey – I said grabbing your hand – So, I was thinking that maybe we could get some coffee before you head out to your duties.

-       Well, we have now about forty-five minutes, so I guess I can give you a little bit of my time.

The little smirk that stayed on my lips looked so well with the shy smile you were giving me. You told your colleagues to meet you at the lobby in a while and we made our way to the cafe. This place just reminds me of the very first time I saw, it when I was sitting in this exact spot, we’re at now:

-       So, what do you drink? – I asked before the waitress came in to take our order.

-       I drink anything, but milkshakes. – you said while looking away – I’m craving, hm… probably a Caramel Macchiato, I love those.

When the waitress came in to take our order, I didn’t even give you time to order for yourself: a medium Caramel Macchiato and a large Caramel Frappuccino.

You weren’t hungry yet, since you had your breakfast at the cafeteria on Yeongeon Campus.

When our orders came, we simply chit-chatted a little bit and appreciated the view, but while you were looking at the campus, I was looking at you… How beautiful you were. I had never seen someone like that, someone that made my heart skip so many beats, but still made it beat faster than it ever did…