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imaginejamesandsirius · 5 years ago

Note

Prompt: Can I get a pov of harry over the years having two dads? Like instead of getting scolded for a prank, he gets a reward or advices on draco?

and “Im not sure if you’ve already receive this because I sent a prompt two months ago. Prompt: Harry’s POV growing up with two dads”

Harry was laying face down on the floor, feeling miserable. Dad didn't seem to care, because other than an, "I'll listen to you when you have a better tone," he just let Harry be sad. Pop would save him, right? Because laying on the hard, cold wood was only making him feel worse, but if he got up, he'd be proving Dad right when he'd first said that all Harry needed was a little quiet time.

The front door opened and closed, and Harry waited. "What's happening here?" Pop asked in a whisper.

"Harry was getting overwhelmed, and when I reminded him that he couldn't yell at me, he decided the floor was his best friend."

"Ah," Pop said, and Harry figured that this was the time where he'd step in. But all he did was pat him gently on the head and keep walking.

Harry made a noise of frustration but didn't move. Now he was mad again, and he didn't want to get in real trouble if he screamed again. After ages and ages of listening to them walk around and move the chairs, he pushed himself up and shuffled off to his room. He'd still have to be quiet, but at least he could do it sitting on his bed.

Hey Dad, can I go to Ron's tonight?" Neville was supposed to be there too, but his parents said it didn't really matter unless it was a whole bunch of people.

Dad didn't look up, bringing the paper closer to his face to peer through his glasses at something (probably on the Quidditch page). "Go ask your father."

Harry shuffled off and made his way to the garage. He opened the door and stepped onto the cold concrete steps, then looked up and saw Pop working on his motorbike, hair tied back. He said that Harry had to get older before he was allowed to ride it, but he'd said that years ago too, so Harry wasn't sure he'd ever be allowed. "Hey Pop, can I spend the night at Ron's?"

"Go ask your father."

"I just asked him."

"And what did he say?"

"To ask you."

Pop nodded. "Uh-huh. Go ask him again, prongslet."

"Okay." It didn't make any sense, but fine, he'd go back and ask Dad again. He went back in the house and walked to the living room again where Dad was now holding the newspaper a few centimeters from his nose. "Hey Dad? Can I go to Ron's for tonight?"

"Er," Dad said, clearly not paying attention as his brow furrowed. "Go ask your father."

"I just asked him," Harry said, a little annoyed. This wasn't a big thing he was asking, he'd been to Ron's a hundred times before.

"Ask him again."

"He told me to ask you again."

"Well go ask him one more time Haz, just for good measure."

Harry scowled at his father, but he still wasn't looking. "Fine," he said, throwing up his hands and turning towards the garage. This time, he opened the door but didn't step down. "Pop, can I go to Ron's?"

"I thought you were going to ask Dad?"

"I did, and he told me to ask you again."

"How rude," Pop commented idly, clearly not meaning it. Harry kinda meant it. "When are you wanting to leave?"

"Before dinner?"

"And when will you be back?"

"Before... lunch?"

Pop nodded, finally looking up at him. "Sounds good. Let me know when you're ready and I'll bring you over."

"Pop," Harry whined, blushing a little. "I'm not a little kid anymore, I know how to use the floo."

"I know you do, but I don't let you wander the streets all by yourself, so you don't get to use the floo all by yourself."

"I'm old enough to do both of those. I'm going to Hogwarts next year," he said, hoping that it would convince Pop to let him go by himself. It was so embarrassing to have his parents dropping him off every single time when he was perfectly capable of doing it himself.

"Ugh, don't remind me," Pop said, making a face. "I'm not happy about that either, but it's not like you'll be traipsing about the town by yourself; you're going to be in school, and it's only once you're thirteen that you're allowed to go to Hogsmeade weekends. I can handle you doing that at thirteen. Not ten. You're too young. Oh Merlin how are you already ten this is ridiculous."

"But I can go?" Harry asked. If he didn't stop Pop, he'd just keep going and going.

"Yep. And don't even think about popping over by yourself because I will come get you back if you try it."

"I won't," Harry sighed. The memory of the time he'd tried that was burned permanently into his brain, and he never wanted to be that embarrassed again.

Dear Dad and Pop,

I got detention. Professor McGonagall looked pretty mad, but you don't think she hates me now, right? She let me on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, that must mean she likes me a little? Wait do you think she'll kick me off? No jokes, I need to know because now I'm freaking out. It was only fifteen points and that's not NEAR enough to get rid of me. I think. Maybe? Merlin, I'm panicking. She doesn't HAVE to keep me on because she was already breaking the rules to get me on in the first place! My quidditch career is over before it could get started :( I'm going to end up, like, writing on an endless piece of parchment for the rest of my life until the day I die.

Anyways, I got detention because Malfoy (Draco, you remember him? What a prick) challenged me to a duel and I said yes only we had to do it after curfew because you're not allowed to duel, and instead of showing up he told Filch and I got caught out of bed. So yeah, Ron's got detention too, which isn't fun but at least we'll be writing lines together. It's supposed to be with Professor Quirrell, and I know he doesn't may that much attention so we'll be able to pass notes or something instead of dying of boredom.

Homework is awful. I can't believe I have to do this for SEVEN YEARS, I'm not sure I'll survive another month of this.

Love you! Harry

James read it, then laughed and handed it over to Sirius. "Your son is a drama queen."

"Our son," Sirius corrected. "Our son is a drama queen." Sirius got further down and snickered. "A very big drama queen. Why did he agree to a duel? Does he even know any spells that he could use?"

"They're eleven, so he could probably use the Jelly Legs Jinx and win," James said automatically, then paused. "We should tell him not to accept any future duels, right? That's something responsible parents do?"

"I think so," Sirius said, grabbing a sheet of parchment for their reply. The responding letter mostly consisted of a mini confetti explosion in celebration of his first detention, an assurance that McGonagall wasn't going to kick him off the team over fifteen measly points when James had easily cost Gryffindor three hundred points in his first year and still made it on the quidditch team in second year, and a reminder to not accept duels until he was at least fifteen and knew what he was doing. They may or may not have attached a list of possible pranks for Harry to use on Draco as payback for narcing on him, but they were merely suggestions.

"I'm going to wrap you in a bubble charm and keep you home so you'll be safe," Pop said, practically suffocating Harry in a hug. He'd hugged him as soon as they came into the Hospital Wing, and he still hadn't let go. Dad had given him a very tight hug, then sat on the bed looking all worried. Harry had thought that was going to be the worst part-- the worried faces-- but Pop was still clinging to him.

"You're choking me," Harry said.

"Yeah and I don't think we can realistically keep him in the house that long. He'd pull a jailbreak, and then where would we be? C'mon Si, let the kiddo breathe," Dad said, tugging on Pop's arm.

Pop finally let go, but it was very reluctant. Then he walked around the bed and cuddled up to Dad, looking like a sad puppy.

"Look Harry, me and Pop talked about it and... maybe we should homeschool you next year."

"What?"

"Last year was fine, you know? Unique sort of situation, you were trying to do the right thing, and it was just the once. But now, well now it's starting to feel like a pattern. I know you're not creating the trouble or summat, but this is the second time in two years that you've had a completely once-in-a-lifetime thing happen and it nearly killed you both times. Last time it was a philosopher's stone, this time it was a sodding basilisk, what's going to happen next year? Dumbledore's phoenix goes rogue?"

"James," Pop said quietly, and Dad shook his head, expression turning half-worried, half-determined.

"Right, just er, we think it would be safest this way. It's not set in stone yet or anything," he added when Harry realised they were being serious and not joking around, "but we- well, we're thinking about it for next year."

"How is that any different than keeping me in a bubble?"

"Lots of kids get homeschooled, it's not that strange. You'd still be able to leave the house and everything."

"What about quidditch?" Even if both his parents and Uncle Moony played with him, that wouldn't be enough for a single team, let alone a game.

"Like I said Haz, it's not decided yet."

"But you're thinking about it," he muttered petulantly, picking at the white sheet covering his legs.

"You almost died. Twice. That's not normal, so we don't get to treat it like it is."

Harry wanted to cry because it wasn't fair, but Dad's voice was getting that edge to it that meant he was getting all emotional and wasn't going to be swayed no matter how much Harry tried to talk him out of it. Oh Merlin he was actually about to start crying. He scrubbed at his face, and now Pop was hugging him again but he didn't mind as much this time.

"I know it seems like the end of the world, Harry," he said quietly, just for Harry's ears, "but all we want is for you to be safe, happy, and healthy. We'll figure it out together, okay?"

Harry sniffled and didn't respond.

"Hey, erm, can Draco come to dinner this Saturday?"

"Yeah sure," Dad said, then paused, whipping his head around comically to look at Harry. "Draco Malfoy?"

"Er. Yeah? Do you know any other Draco's?"

"I thought you hated him."

"Back in like, first year, when he was a total prat," Harry said, shifting awkwardly. He'd known this was going to be awkward as all hell when he asked if Draco wanted to come, but having to deal with it was a whole new level of mortifying.

"Is not a prat anymore?" Dad asked, but it's not as though he had a personal stake in this, he was just confused. All he had to go on was the Malfoy name-- and therefore what he knew about Lucius and Narcissa-- and what Harry told him. Harry had been a touch, er, in denial about his obsession with Draco, but Ron had set him straight (as it were).

"He's not that bad when you get him to use his brain." Once you pointed out the issues with blood purist logic, he started to get over it. It was a bit of a work in progress, but he was trying. He had even apologised to Hermione for calling her slurs, and after it became clear he meant it, they'd started getting along. Sort of. They both liked to be the smartest person in the room, so they had a tendency to butt heads. "You'll see, he's great."

"Okay," Dad said slowly, peering at Harry in a way that made him shift again. "Oh." Dad's eyes went wide, and he had a little smirk on his face.

Harry's face flamed in embarrassment.

"Of course he can come."

Harry was wringing his hands, waiting for the yelling to start. His fathers had never yelled at him before, but more and more often they'd been yelling near him, and with everything going on recently, they might actually yell at him this time. He'd broken into the Ministry, brought his friends with him, nearly died again, gone toe to toe with Death Eaters when they didn't think he should even be dueling yet, and... he'd had his arse saved by them and the other Order members showing up. They were going to be so mad at him for not only getting into this mess, but for dragging his friends into the trouble too. Sure Neville, Ron, and Hermione were all used to this by now, but this was a first time for the others. Ginny and Luna, for example. And Luna had gotten a cut on her leg so bad that she couldn't walk. Ginny had gotten sand from the time turners in the cuts on her hand and now she was having issues with her memory. Not the mention that Draco had specifically not been invited to help the situation with his family, but he'd come along anyways and gotten a bludgeoning spell right in the arm.

And it was all his fault.

Almost all of them had gotten hurt, and it was Harry's fault. Buggering hell, he deserved to get yelled at. Maybe next time he'd be smart enough to leave them all at Hogwarts, where they'd be safe.

Dad came over to him, but Pop was still talking (more like arguing) with the aurors. "You hurt?" he asked.

Mutely, Harry shook his head.

Dad pulled him into a one armed hug, his other hand still clutched tight around his wand. "Let's go home."

"My friends-"

"Are going home too. You'll be able to check in with them tomorrow."

They started to walk, but Harry stopped. "What about Pop?"

"He'll meet us at home when he's done."

"I... okay," Harry muttered.

Voldemort was dead again, and Harry felt guilty for everyone that had died. Felt guilty for everyone that had gotten hurt. He felt... a lot, and none of it was good. Dad had almost died, and Pop hadn't been able to stop crying for three days. When Dad got out of hospital, he'd done a lot of crying too.

Harry moved out, thinking it would help.

His fathers kept calling him to make sure he was still eating and getting rest; he wasn't. They asked him to move back in, and he did because all moving out had done was make him feel worse. His nightmares had gotten worse and he never wanted to leave the flat, let alone cook himself anything decent. Living back at home though, Dad was cooking to deal with stress, and Pop forced him to come along for errands just so he'd get fresh air.

"Hey Pop?"

"Hm?"

"What would you say if I told you I fancy women?"

"I'd ask if there's a particular woman taking up your attention."

"And if I fancy men?"

"I'd ask if there's a particular man taking up your attention."

"And if I fancy both?"

Pop looked over at him and blinked. "I'd ask if you're dating two people at once, because that can be dangerous. Do they know about each other? Cause it's fine if they do, but if they don't, that's playing with fiendfyre, Haz."

Harry laughed, shaking his head. "No, there's not anyone. Not a man or a woman, and certainly not one of each. I was just... I dunno, I guess I was wondering if you were okay with it?"

"Course I am." Pop tilted his head a little. "Were you worried?"

"I dunno. A little."

"Has it escaped your attention that I am married to your father? Another man?"

Harry rolled his eyes, giving Pop's shoulder a shove as he started to feel a little silly for being nervous. "Yeah, I noticed, thanks. Do you think Dad will care?"

"He'll probably ask you the same questions I did."

"Why would you both think there's someone I'm interested in?"

"There was a certain Draco Malfoy that you were eyeing, if I remember correctly."

"You knew about that?" Harry squeaked, cheeks reddening.

"You aren't very subtle, prongslet. Did that ever go anywhere?"

Harry thought about the almost dates they'd been going on, and his blush deepened. He cleared his throat, and Pop chuckled.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo, I'm just taking the piss. Dad won't mind that you like one or the other or both anymore than I did."

Harry cleared his throat again and willed for his cheeks to go back to their normal color. "Thanks, Pop." He'd won a war, been in more fights than he could count, but telling his fathers that he was bi was still embarrassing.

#prongsfoot #james potter #sirius black #harry potter #fanfic #marauders #filled #james lives #established relationship #married #post first war #second war #raising harry #siriuslystarbucks #finallyoldenoughtoreadsmut

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runicpurplepanda · 7 years ago

Text

Updates are Coming, I swear

Long Post Incoming.

I know it’s been ages since I updated things on AO3, and even longer since I updated things here, but it’s not because I haven’t been writing. I have been, it’s just not all been for one story and I don’t post anything until it’s complete.

That said, to tide you guys over until I actually get something ready to post, I’ve got some previews for you, starting with Leggo My Lego Harry Potter, then Word Hunter, and ending with stories that will most likely end up posted under Runic Purple Panda eventually.

I’m writing every day, eventually something will be completely written and posted, I promise. Until then, enjoy your previews:

Leggo My Lego Harry Potter

Old Ideas From Fanfiction.net

Idea 3: 2nd Year - The Polyjuice Potion - Hermione is confronted by Custom Character 1 (Hermione Head with Slytherin Quidditch Body - Pet, time turner, Magic) - alternate older her from another dimension. (Hermione and Granger, Harry and Potter, not yet completed so I can post it.)

Idea 6: 3rd Year - Patronus Charm - Harry goes up to office to get Key, and Death Eater Goyle Sr. comes back down. (This did happen. I kept yelling at the screen "It's a Death Eater, Lupin! Attack!") (currently untitled, not yet completed for me to post.)

Idea 7:1st Year - Privet Drive - Death Eater (Any) shows up at Privet Drive. (poss. while Harry and Hagrid are shopping.) (currently untitled, not yet completed for me to post.)

Idea 9: 3rd Year - The Shrieking Shack/The Time Turner/Freeing Sirius - 'Hermione' turns out to be McGonagall. (This is one of the inspired ones.) (currently untitled, not yet completed for me to post.)

Hermione and Granger, Harry and Potter

(The Alternate Universe versions of Harry and Hermione are referred to as Potter and Granger.)

A sour faced McGonagall led the two Hermiones, two Harrys, and one Ron back to Dumbledore’s office. Dumbledore, on the other hand, seemed even more delighted to find a new double with them.

“Well now, I see I’ll be needing to do some more paperwork for our newest dimensional traveler,” Dumbledore said cheerfully. “Do you foresee anymore students from your universe arriving?”

“Absolutely not!” McGonagall said. “It’s bad enough she cast an erroneous spell at Mr. Potter!”

Dumbledore continued staring at Granger, expecting her to answer. McGonagall scowled at being ignored.

“Well, maybe Ginny,” Granger said. “Your Harry and Hermione have a third friend, and Ginny’s our closest friend outside each other.”

“What about me?” Ron said. “Aren’t I your friend in your universe?”

“You’ve been expelled, actually,” Potter said.

“What!?” McGonagall demanded, giving Ron a glare as if he were the one to be expelled. “And what exactly did my Gryffindor do to be expelled?”

“Well, actually, he was sorted into Hufflepuff,” Granger said.

“Along with Draco Malfoy,” Potter added.

“Ah,” Hermione and Harry said together.

“What?” Ron asked.

“Your temper when Malfoy is concerned is pretty bad,” Hermione told him.

“The first time Malfoy said something about your mother, and you probably hit him,” Harry said.

“Repeatedly,” Granger said, gleefully. “The whole time he was whining about his father hearing about it. You actually broke his face.”

“Which parts?” Hermione asked.

“All of them,” Potter answered. “He spent three weeks at St. Mungo’s getting it fixed. His parents managed to arrange for your expulsion, but they weren’t able to make any charges stick. The rest of your dormmates backed you up on what Malfoy had said, and then told Malfoy later that if he said anything of the sorts about any of their mothers that Malfoy’s parents would never be able to find the body.”

“When Malfoy admitted to what he said at the hearing, his father agreed with his views and your father almost broke his face in retaliation. Would have succeeded too if Mrs. Malfoy hadn’t gotten there first,” Granger said.

“How do you know all of this? A hearing like that would have been closed to the public,” McGonagall said.

“Ginny was at the hearing,” Potter said. “Told us all about it. Now anytime a Slytherin hears the words ‘When my father’ out of him, we punch him in the face.”

“You’re going to be punching our Malfoy a lot then,” Ron said.

“You’re not going to be punching anyone,” McGonagall said.

“So much,” Harry mouthed at them, careful not to let McGonagall see. Hermione rolled her eyes.

Currently Untitled Idea 6 (I’ve been calling it: It’s A Death Eater Lupin, Attack! but that won’t be the actual title.)

Severus Snape was sitting at the desk in his office, sipping at a seventy-year-old firewhisky when Dumbledore’s patronus, a silvery phoenix, came flying in.

“Bring Veritaserum to the Defense classroom. There has been an attempted murder and Harry Potter is missing,” Dumbledore’s voice came from the phoenix.

Snape sneered at the patronus as it disappeared. It appeared that what he had been telling Dumbledore would happen all along had finally happened. Clearly Lupin had let his old friend Black into the castle and then attempted to kill Dumbledore while Black had scurried away with Potter in hand.

Perhaps if he were lucky, all three would wind up dead by the end of the week.

--------------

Snape was disappointed when he got to the Defense classroom and found that Lupin was clearly free, pacing back and forth and giving dark looks to the man tied to the chair – Crabbe senior by the looks of it.

“I presume this is who we will be using Veritaserum on?” Snape asked, gesturing to Crabbe.

“Yes,” Dumbledore said.

“Pity,” Snape muttered. “I had hoped to dose Lupin.”

“Enough, Severus. The Veritaserum, now.”

Snape administered the proper dose, three drops, to Crabbe and then stepped back and waved his wand, “Enervate.”

Crabbe struggled in his binds, “What’s going on!? How did-!?” Crabbe stopped short as he saw the angry look Dumbledore was glaring at him.

“Where. Is. Harry. Potter,” Dumbledore said calmly, despite the anger he was obviously feeling.

Crabbe gulped before replying, “The dungeon! I took him through the cabinet and put him in the dungeon!”

“What cabinet?” Lupin asked.

“The one in your office!”

“That old thing? I could never get it open. I was planning to toss it out, but…I’m not even sure why I haven’t yet.”

“It’s obviously bespelled to insure you didn’t throw it out or open it and find that it led somewhere else,” Snape said.

“Yes, yes, by the Dark Lord!” Crabbe said. He’d give them all the information they wanted; he didn’t want to find out why the Dark Lord feared Dumbledore so much, and judging by the dark look on Dumbledore’s face, he was getting close to seeing why for himself.

“Since Quirrell, I imagine,” Dumbledore said. “Severus, secure Mr. Crabbe in one of our dungeon cells, won’t you. I need to contact Amelia and get some Aurors to search the dungeon through the cabinet. Remus, stay here and guard the cabinet until we return.”

Lupin and Snape nodded. Snape levitated Crabbe, chair and all, and floated him out of the room.

Currently Untitled Idea 7 (This is literally all I have written for this one, so it’s going to be a while before it’s ever ready to be posted.)

Harry was disappointed that the day had ended. He had seen tons of magical things, quite literally in fact, and had absolutely no doubt that the Dursleys would destroy everything that he had bought today and lock him away so he couldn’t attend Hogwarts. Still it had been a nice reprieve from his usual day.

Lost in his thoughts, Harry didn’t notice when Hagrid stopped and ran into his back. “Hagrid? Is something the matter?”

“I’m so sorry, Harry,” Hagrid said. “Very, very sorry.”

“About what?” Harry asked. He peeked around Hagrid’s side and saw a large crowd standing around Number 4 Privet Drive. Many of them were pointing up into the air with confused looks on their faces. Harry looked up. There, floating above the house, was a green, smoky skull with a snake slithering out of its mouth.

“Hagrid, what is that?” Harry asked.

“It’s the Dark Mark,” Hagrid answered. “You-Know-Who’s symbol. He and his followers would shoot it into the sky when they had finished an attack. I’m sorry, Harry, but the Dursleys…muggles couldn’t defend themselves against those types of magic.”

“Oh,” Harry said. He was sad, of course – the Dursleys had been the last of his family, as far as he knew (and they definitely would have sent him to another family member if one was available) – but mostly, he felt relief and hope – relief that the Dursleys wouldn’t be able to destroy his things and hope that he could actually go to Hogwarts. Those emotions were immediately followed by guilt for feeling them when his only relatives were dead.

Harry looked up to Hagrid, “What do I do now? Where am I supposed to go?”

“I’ll take you to Dumbledore. Great man, Dumbledore. He’ll know what to do.”

Harry nodded and remained quiet. Hagrid picked him up and summoned the Knight Bus with his umbrella.

--------------

“Hagrid!” Dumbledore greeted him cheerfully. “How was young Harry’s trip to Diagon Alley?”

“Could’ja conjure up a couch Headmaster?”

Dumbledore nodded and did so, and then was surprised when Hagrid placed a sleeping Harry Potter on the couch.

“He fell asleep on the ride here. We took the Knight Bus.”

“Why did you bring him here?” Dumbledore asked. “Is everything alright?”

“The Dark Mark was floatin’ above his house sir.”

Currently Untitled Idea 9 (This is the one I’ve got the most written for, but I’ve still got a few chapters left to write.)

After chasing away the dementors, Dumbledore returned to his office, where an irritated McGonagall sat holding a rat in a cage while she glared at Snape, still tied in ropes and struggling, propped up in a corner of the office.

“Now that the unpleasantness is dealt with,” Dumbledore said regally. “Is it really necessary for Severus to be tied up?”

“Should he be let loose and make any moves at all, sudden or otherwise, I am likely to curse him.”

Dumbledore glanced between Snape squirming furiously and McGonagall’s eye twitching, and decided Snape was safer where he was, and moved on, “What’s been going on tonight?”

“Earlier in the day, Mr. Potter and Ms. Granger came to me and told me about Severus sentencing Remus to death along with Mr. Black, refusing to listen to the truth.”

“And what is the truth, Minerva?”

Minerva sat the cage on Dumbledore’s desk, “This is Peter Pettigrew.”

“Oh?” Dumbledore asked, but McGonagall could see the wheels turning in his head. “They became animagi to help Remus didn’t they? And of course they switched Secret Keepers but let Mr. Black take the heat. Mr. Pettigrew always was the cowardly type, but to join Voldemort.”

Dumbledore leaned down to peer at the rat, “Don’t bother trying to escape, Mr. Pettigrew. Or you shall find out exactly why Voldemort feared me.” Dumbledore unlocked the cage and floated the rat into a chair, before casting the spell to transform him back into his human form.

“Minerva,” Dumbledore said, not taking his eyes off of Pettigrew, “please summon Amelia Bones. And tell her to please bring some Veritaserum as well. We will certainly find out the truth tonight, and if Sirius Black really is innocent.”

Pettigrew whimpered as McGonagall moved to do as Dumbledore asked.

“Tripsy,” Dumbledore said. A house elf appeared. “Please place Severus in my quarters for now.” The house elf disappeared with Snape, just in time for Amelia Bones to spin out of his fireplace.

Her eyes went directly to the man in the chair and she gasped, “Peter Pettigrew!”

--------------

There is an entire chapter of stuff happening between these two due to time travel events, as well as pettigrew’s questioning.

--------------

Thud.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

Thud. Thud.

“That! Coming from the other side of that wall!”

“In my private quarters you mean?” Dumbledore said.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Amelia stared at Dumbledore with an unimpressed look.

“Oh, I’m not sure. It certainly isn’t the hippogryph that Lucius Malfoy tried to have killed because his idiot son can’t pay attention in class.”

“Oh, well then, I see no reason to investigate. I mean, clearly, it’s not a hippogryph. Why would a hippogryph be in your private quarters, anyway?”

“Exactly. I’m so glad we agree.”

“Would you mind keeping Pettigrew in with, what is clearly not a hippogryph? None of our cells can hold an animagus that small.”

“Of course. I shall insure he doesn’t escape. Tripsy?”

A house elf appeared.

“This is Peter Pettigrew, please place him in my quarters and keep a close eye on him. Don’t allow him to escape.”

Tripsy nodded determinedly and snapped her fingers. Pettigrew was immediately covered in ropes. The two of them disappeared with another snap of her fingers.

“A house elf?” Amelia asked.

“House elves are surprisingly strong creatures. Did you hear about what one did to Lucius Malfoy?”

“No, I hadn’t,” Amelia said with interest. “Unfortunately, I haven’t the time tonight. Perhaps after the Wizengamot meeting tomorrow we can have tea and you can tell me.”

“I look forward to it.”

--------------

Harry and Hermione entered the common room to find an irritated Percy Weasley waiting for them. Some of the students still up started watching the show.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” Percy demanded. “It’s passed curfew!”

“We were with McGonagall and Dumbledore,” Hermione said.

“Do you have a pass from one of them?”

“No.”

“Then I’ll be taking points and issuing you both a detention.”

“No,” Harry said. Now every head in the common room was swiveled in their direction.

“Excuse me!?” Percy said. “I am a pre-“

“Pretty annoying pest right now,” Harry said, cutting him off. “I’ve had to deal with Sirius Black, Severus Snape, and the entire group of dementors currently stationed at Hogwarts attacking me tonight, so take your points, take your detention, and shove them up your arse, Percy.

No, we don’t have passes, because Dumbledore and McGonagall are currently dealing with issues brought up by Sirius Black, Severus Snape, and a ton of dementors attacking us. Ron’s in the hospital wing by the way. Sirius Black broke his leg when he kidnapped us tonight. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m tired, and so I’m going to bed. Goodnight Hermione.”

“Goodnight Harry,” Hermione said, watching him head up to the boys dorm, then she turned back to Percy. “Yes, all of that was true. If you want to confirm it, either look in the hospital wing, go to Dumbledore’s office, or wait until morning. Now, Harry’s got a damn good idea. I’m tired too. Night all.”

Hermione went up the stairs to the girls dorm. Percy stood still from shock in the middle of the common room, jaw hanging down.

“Damn,” Fred said. “I didn’t know Harry had it in him, did you, George?”

“Well, he did jump on the back of a troll for Ms. Granger,” George said.

“And kill a giant basilisk to save our sister,” Fred added.

“So, yes, I suppose I did know that he had it in him.”

“Boy, Perce, you sure are lucky he was tired from fighting off Black, Snape, and those Dementors tonight, or you might’ve been next.”

Percy’s gulp was audible to everyone in the common room.

Other Upcoming Leggo My Lego Harry Potter Stories

A Family Born of Tragedy: A simple game of Keep Away with Peeves, leads to some not so simple consequences.

Bad Press: Rita Skeeter had a nose for gossip, where to find it, and how to best spread it far and wide. Harry Potter just had to rescue his godfather from a Minister who wouldn’t listen, losing his best chance to leave the Dursleys. A terrifying partnership emerges and the Wizarding World will never be the same.

Currently Untitled: Draco messes with the steam release valve on the Hogwarts Express to hurt Potter and his friends, never thinking of the consequences of his actions. Too bad it wasn’t Potter and his friends that got hit with the hot steam.

Currently Untitled: An accident in the Champion’s tent leads to Hermione being in the arena with Harry as he faces the dragon.

A Family Born of Tragedy (The Entire Prologue)

“Trying to enter the girls bathroom are we?” Peeves chuckled. “Naughty, naughty. I’ll just have to lock the door.”

“Peeves! We need to get in there!” Harry yelled. Peeves rolled his eyes. Boys have been ‘needing’ to get into the girls bathrooms for years, only when they were occupied, of course.

“I’ll just leave this up here, shall I?” Peeves said, dropping the key on a tall pile of rubble and disappearing from sight. Most first years would give up now, their prize out of reach, even the Gryffindor ones, but Harry and Ron made for the rubble pile.

“We have to get up there,” Harry said.

“We need a ladder, or some stairs,” Ron said.

Harry pointed his wand at another rubble pile, and wished as hard as he could. Sparks burst from his wand, making the rubble pile change shape into a long ladder. The two boys set the latter against the taller rubble pile, and began to climb towards the key.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Peeves said, appearing just in time to keep the key from the two boys. “How about I leave it over here?” He left the key on a rubble pile much further away, and then cackled, disappearing again.

“Peeves,” the boys growled.

“This isn’t a time for games, Peeves!” Ron yelled.

“Hermione is in there with the troll!” Harry added.

Peeves rolled his eyes again. Boys had come up with many strange excuses to get into the girls bathrooms over the years, but he had to hand it to these two – a troll in the bathroom was a first. But then, Peeves thought, what had caused all the damage to this corridor?

It would have to be a large creature to cause all the damage, assuming it wasn’t caused by the boys themselves. A troll was certainly a possibility. But surely the Headmaster would keep the students as far away from a troll as possible.

It was very likely they were only trying to make a fool of Peeves, and Peeves didn’t like to be messed with. While he would never harm a student outright, he would sure be as annoying as possible to anyone he didn’t like. He was just about to appear and grab the key again, as the two boys had made their way to it while he was lost in his thoughts, when the unthinkable happened.

An ear-piercing scream came from the bathroom, followed by a loud, animalistic roar. Peeves only just appeared in time to catch Harry from falling to the corridor floor.

“A troll you say,” Peeves said.

“Yes, a troll!” Ron said.

“It was supposed to be in the dungeons,” Harry said.

“TROLL!” Peeves yelled at the top of his lungs, flying towards the door. “TROLL IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM! STUDENTS IN DANGER! TROLL!” Harry and Ron followed behind him as quick as they could, having to take the time to unlock the door and wrench it open.

Bad Press (Not an entire chapter but some scenes from one)

“Ma’am, the Minister’s residence is under attack!” an auror eagerly informed her.

“I see,” Amelia Bones said, rubbing her forehead in an attempt to prevent her coming headache. “And is the Minister in the Minister’s residence?”

“Yes ma’am, he is,” the auror said, nodding.

“I see,” Amelia repeated. “THEN WHY AREN’T YOU ALREADY THERE TO DEFEND HIM AUROR!”

“Uh,” the auror said, before running off to join those who had already left.

“I swear, with the budget cuts the Minister keeps pushing on us we’re having to scrape the dregs off the bottom of the barrels. I miss having a legion of competent aurors,” Amelia said to herself. She finished off her paperwork and then sighed.

“I suppose I should go see what’s wrong this time. Maybe I can even convince him to give me some extra money next quarter.”

--------------

Amelia arrived to chaos. The Minister’s residence wasn’t actually under attack, but was certainly being besieged by howlers. Which her aurors were attempting to fight off and losing badly to.

“AND ANOTHER THING!” Molly Weasley’s voice came out of the melee. Another howler bit into Molly’s allowing someone else’s to yell out.

Amelia rolled her eyes and then whistled loudly. Every auror and howler stopped immediately. Amelia sighed again, wishing once more for competent aurors.

“Aurors, fall back! Howlers, your messages are not being received if you shout over each other. Form a line alphabetically by your sender’s name and then go off one by one.” And wasn’t it just peachy that howlers listened to her better than her own aurors did?

“Blanchett, you idiot!” Blanchett had ignored the order to fall back and was being bitten by several howlers. Amelia summoned him away from the howlers. “Howlers, in line now. Someone get this idiot to Saint Mungo’s.

Amelia sighed and then settled down into a nearby chair to wait until the howler conga line was finished with the Minister.

“Oooh, this is a comfy chair,” she said. “You there, Robards. Get me a drink.” Robards sped off to do as she wished.

–

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for a howler to arrive at Hogwarts, especially after the first Weasley child started. What was unusual was the number that had arrived today, not just for the staff, but for the dementors.

All the books on dementors agreed that there was no way to destroy a dementor or cause it pain. Clearly, none of those authors had every tried to send one a howler. The students of Hogwarts couldn’t tell what was funnier – the staff’s pitiful attempts to lessen their own howlers, or the dementors’ terrified screeches as the howlers set their cloaks alight.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who were only let out of the Hospital Wing at noon, had to be regaled with the stories of the staff’s attempts, as the staff had disappeared into their private rooms by then, but luckily, they had managed to see the spectacle with the dementors from the windows of the Hospital Wing.

“The best part,” Ron decided, “was that Mum sent each individual dementor a howler. I don’t know where she found the time, but man, hilarious.”

After lunch, still missing the staff, Fawkes appeared carrying a letter, and landed in front of Harry. As the girls in Gryffindor (and Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, who came over rather quickly) began cooing over Fawkes, Harry read the note.

Harry,

Please join me in my office this afternoon at three for a chat.

Sincerely,

Professor Dumbledore

P.S. Have I mentioned how much I love Chocolate Frogs lately?

“Well, that’s not very informative,” Hermione said. “I assume chocolate frogs is the password to his office?”

“Probably,” Harry said. “And I’ve noticed that Professor Dumbledore is rarely very informative with me. I don’t know if he is with others or not, but he never tells me anything.”

--------------

When the last of the howlers stopped screaming (including the several that had come later and joined the line) at the Minister, Amelia got up from the very comfy chair (she’d have to find out where the Minister got that, because wow, comfortable doesn’t even begin to describe it, no wonder the Minister always left early to come home and sit in it) and went to find him.

“A-Amelia, is, is that you?” he asked from underneath the bed.

“It is,” Amelia said. “Cornelius, we need to talk.”

“About the howlers and that horrible Skeeter woman?” Cornelius asked hopefully, climbing out from under the bed.

“About the dementors and Sirius Black,” Amelia said.

Cornelius grumbled several uncomplimentary things that Amelia chose to ignore since he had just been through a horrible ordeal (and my, some of the senders of those howlers had some very large lung capacity, didn’t they?) and was likely traumatized by the event.

Currently Untitled (Draco Messes With Steam Release Valve) (This is another story that will be tagged with ‘Draco Malfoy Is Not Treated Well’)

“It was only meant to get Potter and his friends!” Draco whined.

“Oh, well, if you were only trying to kill Harry Potter and his friends, that makes everything alright then,” Amelia said, sarcastically. Draco either didn’t hear her tone of voice, or lacked the capability to recognize sarcasm.

“It does?” Draco asked, hopefully.

“No.”

A member of the Wizengamot stood and cleared his throat. The rest of the Wizengamot members stared at him in shock. He vary rarely spoke during meetings, whether they were regular Wizengamot meetings, or court cases like this, and when he did he was invariably right.

“Jackson Everett, isn’t it,” Amelia said. “You have something to say to the court?”

“I believe I can provide a probable motive, since young Mister Malfoy is unwilling or unable to provide his own.”

“I for one would like to hear it,” Amelia said, waving her hand. “Please, if you will?”

“As you all know, I work in the records department,” Jackson started.

“I didn’t know,” Draco whined. They all ignored him.

“After the escape of Sirius Black I did some digging. While I’m having a bit of trouble finding his trial record, I did manage to come up with three other items concerning him that I believe concern young Mister Malfoy’s actions as well.”

“What sort of things?” Amelia asked.

“The first is a request for blood adoption, signed by himself, the Potters, and then Minister Bagnold, as well as the additional attached paperwork indicating that the blood adoption ritual was successful and that Sirius Black was now also a parent of one Harry Potter.”

“Why on earth would he blood adopt the child of the people he was planning to betray?” Augusta Longbottom asked.

“I couldn’t say, ma’am,” Jackson said. “As I said, I’m having trouble finding his trial record and while I’m sure Minister Bagnold would have asked him there, since I can’t find it, I can’t tell you. To continue, the second item I found was Sirius Black’s will. In it, Mister Black leaves a few smaller bequests, but he also declares Mister Harry Potter to be his primary Heir, receiving everything else upon his death, including any titles he may have gained.”

“Which doesn’t matter,” Narcissa Malfoy said, standing up from her spot next to her son. “Sirius Black was disowned from the Black family. There are no titles for him to inherit.”

“Not quite,” Jackson said. “Which brings me to item three – the last will and testament of the previous Lord Black – Arcturus Black. In which he states that he never agreed to the disownment of Sirius Black, so while he may have been kicked out of his home by his parents, he was still a member of the family. He then declares that Sirius Black is his primary Heir, receiving everything upon his death, including the title of Lord Black.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Augusta asked.

“Sirius Black is currently Lord Black, regardless of the fact that he hasn’t come to the Wizengamot to formally declare his title. After his death, his son through blood adoption, Harry Potter, will inherit the title of Lord Black, with the single exception of Mister Potter dying without a blood Heir of his own, in which case the title of Lord Black will revert to the next available magical male in the line of inheritance – one Draco Malfoy.”

“But that means – “ Minister Fudge began.

“ – that this is no longer just a trial for assault,” Amelia interrupted, staring hard at Draco Malfoy, “but for attempted murder and attempted inheritance fraud.”

“There is no fraud!” Draco said. “I am next in line for Lord Black! That title is mine by right! Mother and Father said so! I’ll kill Potter before I ever let him sully the House of Black like that!”

Narcissa and Lucius practically wilted as the full wrath of the Wizengamot fell upon them and their son. Draco was, unfortunately for him and his parents, too stupid to notice that he had practically confirmed Jackson Everett’s theory, and that everyone was angry at him for it.

Currently Untitled (Hermione In First Task With Harry)

Amelia rounded on the rest of the judges.

“Oh dear,” Crouch muttered, having recognized the look on her face.

“This tournament is becoming more and more of a disaster every second it lasts,” Amelia said. “To prevent anymore idiocy out of the judges,” here Amelia gave an obvious pointed look at Bagman’s back as the aurors led him and Rita to the edge of the wards, “I’m going to have to insist you all take an oath to keep the champions as safe where you can and to judge them fairly.”

“That sounds reasonable,” Dumbledore said. It was drowned out by Karkaroff’s much louder, “How dare you!?”

If Karkaroff was expecting a weak-minded, paper-pusher, incompetent Ministry bureaucrat he was sorely disappointed. What he got was a terrifyingly competent and angry Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

“No, how dare you!?” Amelia said. “How dare any of you put your pride in front of those students that are out there fighting dragons and whatever else your insipid little minds thought up for your own amusement! You will take the oath to keep the tournament safe and fair, or you won’t be judging it.”

“You can’t prevent me fro-” Karkaroff began. He was interrupted by Amelia’s wand pointed right between his eyes.

“I beg to differ,” Amelia said, giving him a sickly-sweet smile. “Either give your oath, or march your ass right back to your ship and send someone who will give it in your stead.”

“You can’t possibly – you,” Karkaroff gave a terrified look to his fellow judges. “You won’t let her – you can’t – “

Maxine was watching the quarrel with amusement. Crouch was watching with resigned despair. But Dumbledore stood up, pulling his wand. Karkaroff thought Dumbledore would save him, until the elder man began speaking.

“I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, swear on my magic to make the tournament as safe as I possibly can, and to judge it’s contestants as fairly as possible. So mote it be.”

Maxime followed suit almost instantly, and with one last weary glance at Amelia’s wand, still pointed at Karkaroff’s face, Crouch gave his own oath.

“Looks like you’re all that’s left,” Amelia said, smiling sweetly as her wand gave off a few harmless sparks. Karkaroff gave off what sounded suspiciously like a whimper and began to slowly pull his wand.

“I, Igor Karkaroff, swear on my magic to make the tournament as safe as I possibly can, and to judge it’s contestants as fairly as possible. So mote it be.”

“Thank you Headmaster Karkaroff,” Amelia said, waiting for him to reholster his wand before she reholstered hers. “Shall I get the champions, so that they may get their scores?”

“There is the small matter of us missing a judge,” Crouch muttered.

“Well, that’s easily solved. Bagman was representing part of the Ministry, of which I am also a part of. And it just so happens that I saw all the contestants’ participations while I was in the stand. So, for this task, I’ll fill in, if that’s alright with all of you,” Amelia said. She didn’t bother waiting for a reply before pulling her wand. “I, Amelia Susan Bones, swear on my magic to make the tournament as safe as I possibly can, and to judge it’s contestants as fairly as possible. So mote it be.”

“Let’s gather all of the contestants now, shall we?” Dumbledore said cheerfully, as Amelia took Bagman’s seat.

“One moment please,” Boris said, snapping a few pictures of the five judges. “Alrighty, thank you.” He disappeared back into the crowd, muttering, “Editor’s going to be so pissed I didn’t get one of Bones’ wand in Karkaroff’s face.”

“Ah, Mr. Weasley,” Dumbledore said, gesturing to Ron, who turned bright red at being singled out by Dumbledore. “Would you please go and see if Madam Pomfrey is willing to relinquish her claim on our champions.”

“Uh, yeah, sure, I mean, uh, yes, SIR, yes sir!” Ron stammered out. He then hightailed it for the medical tent.

“Young people these days are so odd,” Dumbledore said.

“I imagine that young people think the same of their elders,” Amelia said.

Word Hunter

Current Series Future Updates (Not necessarily the next update, but sometime in the future.)

Golden Trio (Plus One) Rise Again

Hydravengers

The What Now?

The Golden Trio (Plus One) Rise Again

“Good evening Iruka,” the Hokage said, and upon seeing who was with him, added, “and Anko. I thought this was about the new graduating class.”

“It is,” Iruka said. “I had four new academy students on the early graduation exam list, so I asked Anko to test them separately. I figured she would, er, scare them into going back to class, or at least ensure they were serious about becoming genin now.”

“And now the parents are complaining?” Sarutobi guessed.

“No sir,” Anko said. “They passed.”

“They…passed. Four eight-year-olds passed the early graduation exam?”

“Technically, three eight-year-olds and one nine-year-old,” Anko added.

The Hokage rubbed his forehead, “Which ones?”

“Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, Sasuke Uchiha, and Naruto Uzumaki,” Iruka said. “And there’s more.”

“More?”

“I didn’t know the academy test had been dumbed down so much,” Anko said. “I put them through the same test I went through, instead of the written and a couple of jutsu. They don’t even do taijutsu anymore, it’s horrible.

“Yes, well,” Iruka continued, “they not only passed, but passed with the four highest scores. We even cut out the tests the other students didn’t do, and they still had extremely high scores.”

“Oh boy,” Sarutobi said. “What am I going to do with them? We haven’t had genin that young since the war.”

“Yamanaka came to me before the test, and made a pretty good argument for the four of them being on one team. She cited precedence – you and your genin team sir – their age, and the fact the four of them work best together, and that to break up a team showing such promise for a silly notion such as three genin to a team would be stupid, her words not mine.”

“I see. Most jonin are only prepared for three students though. Four students starts to distract the teacher too much.”

“I’ll take them, if no one else will,” Anko said.

“Unfortuantely, Anko, you’re only a Tokubetsu Jonin, so you can’t take a genin team.”

Anko pouted. The four of them had been excellent students, and she really wanted them, even if they were tiny little hug-monsters.

“However, Kakashi can take a genin team, and I can assign you as his assistant, if that is agreeable to you.”

“Hell yeah it is.”

The Hokage nodded, “Good, and that should take care of the distraction four students usually cause. Kakashi is on a mission at the moment. I’ll inform him of the genin team as soon as he returns.”

“Is he going to agree to take them?” Iruka asked.

“He’s already claimed Naruto for his future genin team. He’ll just have to take the other three as well. Now, how about the other teams?”

“Well, there’s…”

--------------

“Four eight year olds passed the early graduation test!?”

“Three eight year olds, and one nine year old.”

Kakashi stared at him, dumbfounded. Finally, he asked, “When’s the team assignment?”

“It’s already passed. Since there’s four of them, I’ve assigned an assistant to your team to help you, a Tokubetsu Jonin.”

“Hayate?” Kakashi asked hopefully.

“Anko.”

“ANKO!?”

Kakashi didn’t bother changing out of his armor or showering to get all the blood and sweat off of him. Instead he rushed to where he felt Anko’s chakra signature, just on the outskirts of the Forest of Death. As focused as he was on finding Anko, and as tired as he was, it wasn’t much of a surprise that he completely missed the genin team in question.

The genin did not fail to take notice of him, however, or of his aggressive stance when heading towards their favorite teacher.

A wandless, wordless summoning spell from Harry pulled Kakashi back towards them, where Ginny and Hermione both grabbed one of his arms and slammed him face first into the ground. Ron, who had been practicing his chakra control via tree climbing, allowed gravity to aid his attack, landing on Kakashi’s back with his elbow, and several of his clones.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough,” Anko said. “Ten laps around the forest, let’s go.”

The genin grumbled, but having learned that Anko would set snakes on them if they didn’t comply with her orders immediately, began jogging.

“What the hell just happened?” Kakashi asked, groaning as he rolled over to stare at Anko in disbelief.

“Heh, heh, heh. Welcome to Team 7,” Anko said, smirking.

“Fuck my life,” Kakashi muttered, hoping Anko didn’t hear him. Judging by the fact that her smirk turned into an evil grin, she had.

Hydravengers

“So who else knows about this?” Steve asked some time later.

“No one but you, me, and now Stark,” Sharon answered.

“Really, that’s it? You didn’t even go to Fury?”

“I didn’t know who to trust. Even Fury is friends with Alexander Pierce. And I think Pierce is the Head of Hydra.”

Clunk. Clunk. Clunk.

“What in the hell,” Sharon asked.

“That’ll be Tony,” Steve said.

“You sure?” Sharon asked.

“Unless you know someone else with a metal arm?”

Sharon was already walking to the entrance of the warehouse, and missed Rollins getting a foot free and kicking Jones in the leg. Steve held up a finger to his lips for silence. Rumlow was the only one to catch on.

You’re kidding, he mouthed.

Steve smiled and shook his head. Hail Hydra, he mouthed back. The others caught on quickly, and Jones turned pale.

--------------

“So you’re going to kill someone?” Rollins asked. He leaned over and whispered, “Is it one of us? If it’s not me, can I kill them?”

Steve finally tore his gaze from Bucky to give an exasperated look at Rollins, “No, I mean that you’re the only one who likes to kill his free time by killing people.”

“So, no one’s dying?”

“Not today.”

“That mean someone’s dying tomorrow?” Rumlow asked, taking a seat on Rollins’ other side. “Your Bucky threatened to skewer me if I didn’t leave him to cook the burgers.”

“And you just walked away?” Rollins asked.

“He’s the Winter Soldier, Rollins. When he threatens to skewer you, and he’s holding something he can skewer you with, you believe him and get away as soon as possible.”

--------------

“So,” Tony said one day, “It turns out we’re all Hydra agents.”

Natasha choked on her coffee.

That, more than Tony’s statement, shocked the rest into silence. Not even Clint had seen Natasha do something like that, and his kids had done their best to make it happen. Natasha waved off their stunned looks and Tony continued.

“Well, except for Thor, but let’s face it. He’s an alien prince who’s only been on our planet twice. Even Hydra’s not that good.”

The What Now?

“What idiot put dementors on a train full of children!?” Lily demanded. “What idiot places them near a school?”

“Fudge, apparently,” Remus said.

“I’ll wring the bastards little neck!”

“Now, Lily-flower. You can’t just go kill the Minister of Magic,” James said. Lily, who had been heading towards the fireplace, turned to him, glaring. “By yourself, I mean,” James added quickly. “It wasn’t just our sons on that train after all.”

Lily’s glare turned into a smile. A smile that would give Sirius and Remus nightmares for weeks to come (James was immune by now).

“Honey,” Lily said. “I’m going to do some research and then go write some letters.”

--------------

Riot at the Ministry!

Dementors Removed From Hogwarts!

“Your wife started a riot!” Sirius exclaimed.

“I know,” James said, proudly.

“Listen to this,” Remus said. “Sources claim the riot was started by several Lords and Ladies of both Light and Dark families, all of whom have children at Hogwarts. And then this, in the confusion, Minister Fudge was turned into a platypus and no one has been able to reverse.”

“A platypus?” James asked. “Who did that?”

“Probably Alice,” Remus said.

“She does think their cute,” Sirius added.

Future Series Previews

A Genderbended Wizard In Ninjaland: What do you do when Death decides you need to do a job for him before you can pass on? When he replaces your magic with chakra? When he turns you into a girl with bright pink hair? When he doesn’t even tell you what it is you’re supposed to be doing? Harry Potter decides to wing it.

A Simple Case of Chakra Exhaustion: When Kakashi remains unconscious, Team 7 has to train themselves for the upcoming return of Zabuza.

Albus Dumbledore, DADA Professor: “As it turns out Cornelius, I find myself with an overabundance of free time lately, so I’ll be taking over as the Defense Professor. Do give dear Delores my regards, when you inform her that her presence will not be necessary.”

A Genderbended Wizard in Ninjaland

What did girls even do?

Harry had some time to come to grips with his now being a girl (although he could have done without the pink hair). Unfortunately, as he quickly found out, his new family lived in a shinobi village, filled to the brim with suspicious ninjas that would surely notice he wasn’t the girl he said he was.

And that meant he had to pretend to be a girl. Which led to his newest problem.

What did girls even do?

Having been a boy all his life – well, his previous life anyway – he had no idea what girls actually did. He had a general idea, of course. Girls were intelligent – Hermione was at the top of the list of proving that, but even the giggly Gryffindor girls Lavender and Parvati had been in the top ten of their year, every year.

And girls, in Harry’s experience, did not like their hair being messed with. Lavender and Parvati would hex anyone who messed with their hair, and Hermione, on the occasional day she did it up nicely, was even more vicious.

Which led to his next point, when angered girls were vicious; Hermione and Ginny were at the top of the list of scariest angry girls, and not just because they were his best friend and wife respectively. Luna would have been number one on that list, but Harry, and others, usually blocked out the things she did while angry to save their sanity.

That being all he knew of girls, that was what he based his personality on – an intelligent girl, who got pissed when you messed with her hair, and was exceedingly vicious when angered.

He’d do his best to pick up on what else girls were like when his new parents took him to the nearby playground.

--------------

Like in his previous life, Harry was immediately beset upon by bullies when he stepped onto the playground. A larger civilian boy immediately began picking on him. Unlike in his previous life, Harry had the ability to ignore the boy, which the boy clearly did not like. He showed his dislike for this by pulling Harry’s long pink hair.

Harry may not like pink, but he was supposed to be a girl, and girls got mean when you pulled their hair.

The entire playground, children and parents, watched in awe as Harry picked up the boy, spun him around, and threw him into the swings hard enough to send the swing spinning around the bar it was attached to until it couldn’t anymore.

“Never. Ever. Touch. My. Hair,” Harry said, before turning to a nearby girl, “My name’s Sakura. Want to play?”

The girl grinned at him, “Sure! That was awesome! How did you do it? Oh, I’m Ino by the way.”

And so Harry gained his first real friend in his new life.

And a new shinobi rule was passed around – Never mess with Sakura Haruno’s hair.

A Simple Case of Chakra Exhaustion

Kakashi woke up feeling fuzzy. His blurry eyesight didn’t clear nearly as fast as he would have liked. When it did clear, it gave him a view of an unfamiliar ceiling. He struggled to remember what happened for several moments. And then it hit him.

Tazuna. The Demon Brothers. Zabuza. The hunter-nin.

Or more specifically, the hunter-nin that wasn’t a hunter-nin but rather Zabuza’s accomplice, which meant his genin were in danger. He sat up quickly, only to aggravate the injuries Zabuza had given him, and fall back onto the futon with a thud.

“Ow,” he muttered soundlessly. He strained his ears and heard footsteps heading up the stairs, obviously alerted to something amiss by the sound. The door to the room opened and one of his students entered.

“Kakashi-sensei! You’re awake!” Sakura exclaimed. “Hold on, and I’ll get you some broth!” Sakura disappeared again, and Kakashi let out a groan.

Sakura reappeared with a bowl of what was obviously the previously mentioned broth, and helped him sit up to sip at it.

“Zabuza’s not dead,” he finally managed to get out, his voice still scratchy sounding from the period of nonuse.

“We know,” Sakura answered.

“The hunter-nin-”

“-is his accomplice,” Sakura interrupted him. “We know, Kakashi-sensei. They’re not a problem anymore. Neither is Gato for that matter. We had a bit of trouble with a few of Gato’s goons with more brawn than brain, but they’ve been dealt with.”

“Dealt with? How long have I been out?”

“Two weeks. We were getting worried. You were lucky Naruto happens to carry practically everything with him, including a few scrolls with instructions to medical jutsu.”

Two weeks? What the hell had happened in the two weeks he was out? “Tell me everything,” Kakashi demanded. Sakura nodded and began her story.

Albus Dumbledore, DADA Professor

“What about Hogwarts, Cornelius?” Dumbledore asked. “I have many things to be doing to get ready for the new school year, which starts tomorrow.”

“Yes, I’m aware,” Fudge said. “Delores is excited to be starting.”

“Starting where, exactly,” Dumbledore asked.

“Why, the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, of course. Educational Decree Twenty-Two-“

“Allows the Ministry to appoint a teacher only if the Headmaster has trouble finding someone for the post,” Dumbledore said, smiling brightly. “As it turns out Cornelius, I find myself with an overabundance of free time lately, so I’ll be taking over as the Defense Professor. Do give dear Delores my regards, when you inform her that her presence will not be necessary.”

“Wha-what!?”

“Well, as you know, I no longer have the posts of Chief Warlock and Supreme Mugwump to take up my spare time, so I thought I’d pass on my defensive knowledge to the students. The most wonderful idea I’ve had since I thought to try a lemon drop in 1926, don’t you think.”

“But, but,” Cornelius sputtered.

“Well, if that’s all Cornelius, I have a booklist to set.” Dumbledore walked away with a serene smile on his face and a spring in his step.