#every time I hear this song I remember them doing this
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'A Fresh Start 𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐[part v]
powder finally made it to the hangout stage (good for her!), and guess she never really realized how good talking to you one on one would feel. [part iv]
✩°。⋆⸜ 🎧✮ < banger song inspo!!
Powder shuffled along the stone sidewalk, her head down and her hands buried in her worn jacket pockets. The town square was deafening. The noise of it all was something she just couldn’t seem to get adjusted to. Sure, the undercity was loud, people yelling, arguing, running, sounds she was used to, sounds easy to block out. But this?
Easy laughter, happy chatter, meaningless conversation just for the sake of it. It was like a ringing in her ear, irritating her brain as if she wasn’t meant to hear it, like her ears weren’t developed enough to process it.
Looking up at the people passing by she noticed how all of their faces were unfamiliar. Either she’d never met them, never looked them in the eye, or had totally forgotten about them. She wanted to feel bad about it but she just… couldn’t. All the faces here seemed so generic, like NPCs in a video game. Every face just seemed like a blur. Every face but one.
“Powder!”
And suddenly the ringing in her ear stopped. Your face wasn’t like the others. It wasn’t part of the background. It was clear, vivid, impossible to ignore. You were smiling at her, waving like you’d been waiting to see her. For a second, she didn’t move, didn’t breathe, just stood there like an idiot, staring back.
It happened. In less than a week, the interaction she’d dreamed of had… actually happened.
It was a weird feeling, to watch the scene she pictured in her head constantly play out before her in real time. You called her name and waved her hello, because you knew her, because you were here to see her this time, not the baker, not the merchant, not your neighbors. The realization made her lips twitch upward and before she could stop herself, a goofy smile spread across her face. She probably looked ridiculous, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
“Sorry, did I make you wait long?” You asked, catching your breath.
“No, don't worry, I just got here.” She said quickly, shaking her head.
It was a total lie of course. She had been waiting long, long enough to overthink, to second-guess whether she should’ve shown up at all, and to count the cracks in the sidewalk. But it didn’t matter now. You were here, and somehow, that made the waiting feel insignificant, like it had been worth it.
You smiled, not questioning her answer, and pointed down the street casually. “I was thinking we could head down to the river.” you said, like the thought had just popped into your head. “It’s quieter there. I know the noise here can be a lot sometimes.”
Powder blinked, startled by how easily you seemed to know her, like you’d figured out something she hadn’t even put into words yet herself. She hesitated for a moment, her hands still shoved deep into her pockets, before nodding. “Yeah. Okay.”
You started walking, and she followed you without a word, just like she always had. Except this time she wasn’t sneaking around, because you had been walking together. At first, it felt strange. Her pace awkward, her head down, unsure of what to say or do. But you didn’t seem bothered by her silence, didn’t rush her to keep up or pressure her to fill the space between you. You just…walked, calm and easy, without a second thought.
The town square got quieter and quieter, replaced by the faint sounds of nature, birds chirping, the occasional rustle of leaves, and the distant sound of flowing water. Powder glanced up as they rounded a corner, catching the sight of the river.
The water wasn’t super deep where you guys were, she could see the smooth rocks under the water from afar, some sticking out a little. She couldn’t remember if she’d ever seen water this clean or blue. The sun was out, but not in an annoying way. Just enough to keep things warm without making her squint. The wind was nice too, just enough to ruffle her hair, the perfect balance of warm and cool. The only sounds she could hear now was the soft splashing of water and chirping of birds
For a second, she thought about how different it felt here. Like the world had slowed down just for you two. She glanced over at you and caught you smiling, like you’d been here a thousand times, like this was just another day for you.
When you reached the riverbank, you didn’t hesitate. You spotted a bench with a clear view of the water, sat down like it was your favorite spot in the world, and gestured for her to join you.
“See? Way better.” you said with a grin, stretching lazily.
Powder lingered for a second, her eyes flicking between the bench and the water, before finally sitting down. Stiffly. Like she’d never sat down a day in her life, or like the bench might break just to spite her. She looked around, her arms stuck to her sides, half expecting something to go wrong.
But nothing did.
The river kept flowing, and the trees kept swaying. The world didn’t seem to care that she was sitting there, that she felt out of place.
And then there was you.
You didn’t seem to care either, not in a bad way, but in a way that made her feel like it didn’t matter if she was awkward or didn’t know what to say. You were just… there. Sitting beside her, relaxed, watching the water like it was the only thing that mattered.
Powder shifted slightly, her arms relaxing a little. She wasn’t used to quiet like this, the kind that wasn’t filled with tension or internal voices, the kind that didn’t demand anything from her.
She still felt a little off, like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. But for the first time in a while, it felt like maybe… maybe nothing had to go wrong.
“So, how are you liking the town?” You asked, breaking the silence.
She thought about it for a bit. It was such a simple question yet she had no idea how to answer it. Where would she begin? It was nice sure, peaceful, lively, the perfect place to settle, but how did she like it? Guess she never really thought about it.
She liked her cabin. She made it her own and it felt nice to have a place to herself. She liked the market, even though she was always quick to scurry out of there. She liked the kids in town, she’d sometimes linger by a little longer and listen in on their conversations. Sometimes they’d be arguing over something stupid like who won which game, other times they’d be happily chasing each other around. She liked you, of course.
Sometimes she wondered what it would’ve been like if she had moved here earlier, before everything went wrong. It was a selfish thought really, but one she found herself often staying up picturing. Afterall, she knew someone who would’ve loved to play with the kids in town. She would’ve liked you too, would’ve liked this new life.
“It’s nice.” She muttered, keeping her eyes on the moving water.
“Seriously…? That’s it?”
That made her chuckle. She turned her head to look at you with a small smile and furrowed brows.
“What? It is nice.” She exclaimed
You stayed silent, rolling your eyes with a small ‘hmph’ looking away.
“It’s also… new.” She continued after a small bit of silence. “Believe it or not, I’d never seen a forest before coming here… oh, or water this pretty.” she added absentmindedly as she took in their surroundings.
“Oh right, I’ve been meaning to ask. Where did you live before you came here?” You asked curiously as you turned to look at her again.
There it was, the dreaded question. Well, one of them. There were a lot of questions she was dreading. But she figured this one would come up sooner than later.
It wasn’t like Zaun was known for its great living conditions.
She’d be lying if she said she wasn't nervous, she didn’t know how you’d react to her being from somewhere so… Scary? Dirty? Horrible?... she figured any one of those could work. A part of her was tempted to lie, say she was from Piltover or somewhere else that's fancy and shiny, but she knew she couldn’t do that to you, lying now? So early into your conversation? No way. And besides, she doubted she could stomach the idea of calling herself a Piltie.
Her throat felt dry, and her voice came out quieter than she intended.
“I… I’m from Zaun.”
“From where now?”
“The Undercity.”
There was a pause.
“Piltover.”
Still nothing.
She blinked at you, deadpan. “The ‘City of Progress’?”
Your expression lit up in sudden recognition. “Oh! With the Hex Portals?”
She didn’t even have the heart to correct you…
Your confusion confused her, but she wasn’t exactly mad about it. It was... surprising, in a good way. Guess all that worrying was for nothing. She couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of comfort in your cluelessness, like it drew an even thicker line between her past and her present.
“Yeah, I’ve heard of it.” you said, your voice casual like this was just small talk. “Hm. It’s a long way from here, though. What made you leave?”
Her body stiffened. What was it with you and these dreaded questions? She shifted uncomfortably, her eyes darting back to the river.
As much as she wanted to be annoyed at you for asking the one thing she wanted to avoid, she knew she couldn’t. It wasn’t the question that was the problem, it was her answer. Anyone else might’ve taken it as a casual, perfectly normal thing to ask. The issue wasn’t you. The issue was her.
She opened her mouth, trying to come up with something to say, but nothing felt right. Her chest tightened
Thankfully, you seemed to catch on to her hesitation. Your voice softened. “It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me. I get it.”
She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath until that moment. Her shoulders relaxed slightly, and she gave you a small nod, grateful you didn’t push for more.
“Well,” you continued, leaning back on the bench with a smile “whatever the reason, I’m glad you’re here now,”
She smiled again, her heart warm-
“even though you were kinda creepy at first.”
“What!?” Her head snapped towards you.
“Why is this surprising? You were like totally stalking me. Kinda had me worried.” You said casually with a laugh.
“Well- I didn’t- I wasn’t trying to be creepy.” She said defensively. “I just thought you were cool…”
Your teasing grin faltered, replaced by a look of surprise.
You blinked, clearly taken aback. “Oh.”
Powder winced, feeling like she’d just made things worse.
“Oh?” she repeated, nervously twisting her fingers together.
“Sorry, just didn’t expect that.” you said, your voice softer now, glancing down at the ground.
Her eyes darted away. “Was that... weird to say?”
“No, no,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “I mean,” You laughed a little, still processing. “I didn’t think I’d come off as cool to anyone, let alone you.”
Her brows furrowed, she almost looked…offended. “Why not?”
You shrugged, a sheepish smile playing on your lips. “I don’t know. I think I’m pretty average overall. My life’s pretty mundane.” You said looking towards the sky absentmindedly. “No mysterious backstory, no crazy hair.” You finished with a laugh as you looked back at her again, only to be taken aback when you were met with a stern face.
“That’s what makes you cool.” She said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
You just sat there staring at one another. Her face still serious and yours all the more surprised.
“If you say so…”
Powder nodded sharply. “I do say so.”
Then you smiled, like you weren’t sure whether to laugh or say thank you
“Well... thanks, I guess,” you said finally.
. . .
The sun was starting to set now, the gentle sound of the river filled the quiet, and Powder found herself feeling lighter than she had in a long time.
“It’s nice here,” she said, almost to herself.
You glanced over at her. “Yeah. It is.”
You leaned forward, tilting your head to get a good look at her. “We should do this again sometime. Y’know, hang out.”
Powder blinked, looking over at you. The casual way you said it made her chest ache in that strange, unfamiliar way again. “Yeah,” she said softly. “I’d like that.”
You smiled at her, a small, genuine one that made her stomach flip. Then you stood up, stretching contently.
“Come on,” you said, reaching out a hand to her. “We should head back before it gets dark. Can’t have you tripping over something.”
Powder rolled her eyes, smiling back. “I’ll have you know, I’m very good at walking.”
“Yuh huh,” you teased, grabbing her hand to pull her up anyway. “Whatever you say creep.”
“Ugh.”
. . .
"next part will def be out before new years!" i said knowing damn well it wouldnt be LMAO guys pls i have a life outside of tumblr OH MY DAYSSSS shocker ik
anyways sry this took long (i rewrote it TWICE) im actually not thattt happy with it STOP I CAN ALREADY HEAR THE BOOS AND TOMATOES BEING THROWN ik guys im never satisfied BUT TO POST SOMETHING I TRULY LIKE IT WOULD TAKE A WHOLE 2 MONTHS AT LEAST
ALSO THE STORY IS COMING TO AN ENDDD IM HEARTBROKEN TOO BUT BUT BUT DW I still plan on writing for this "au" or wtv, ill make a separate post explaining why/how ;P
THX SM FOR STILL READING I LOVEEEEEE U GUYSSS BYEBYE XOXOXO KISSKISSKISS
p.s ik jinx leaving zaun before act 2 wouldve been pointless cuz she needed the closure i just wanted to write abt her thinking abt it ;P
notes r appreciated ofc (˶ > ₃ < ˶)
[taglist ( ;´ - `;)!!]
@cattjull @kenqki @powderbomb-jinxed @iamastar @lostdreamingwallflower @errorlovernotfound99 @raven437 @cartalige @poncho-fisch @crushh-existz @slxtcity @jinxslapdog @radioheadfan699 @alduinworldeater11 @dulleyeddreamer @alicenasflowers
[USERS I CANT TAG 4 SUM REASON (◞‸◟;)]
@sacrasm-is-my-form-of-attack @wonylvxv @luvs4rc0r3
#ignore the banner pls#PROOF READING THIS WAS A NIGHTMARE#U BETTER HAVE LISTENED TO THE SONG!!#im free!!!!#jinx arcane#jinx#arcane#jinx x reader#arcane league of legends#x reader#arcane x reader#jinx league of legends#jinx imagine#series
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Adoration's Abyss | Bakugou , Stalker Reader
synopsis: He was the untouchable star, and I was just another face in the crowd—until I wasn’t. What starts as admiration spirals into something far darker when love turns to obsession, and boundaries blur between devotion and delusion. You really are different from other girls… but at what cost?
w/c: idk i was hoping for 5k, i hope it reached
warnings: stalking
a/n: hey i wrote this while i was at the beach for five days. update on my life: been getting into poetry and essay writing again. finally had the balls to share my work with my friends and family lol
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The moment I saw him, the world folded itself into something smaller, something manageable, as if the chaos of existence could be trimmed to fit within the orbit of his gaze. Katsuki Bakugou: a name that rippled through crowds like a thunderclap, his presence igniting every room he entered with the ferocity of a supernova. He wasn’t just an idol; he was a phenomenon, a living pyre burning too bright for ordinary mortals.
And yet, there I was. Just another face in the sea of adoration, clutching my ticket to the meet-and-greet like it was a lifeline to salvation.
“Hi, Katsuki! I loved you in—”
He cut me off, sharp as a blade but not unkind. “In Beyond the Blast?” His voice was rough, gravelly—a symphony of jagged edges.
I faltered. Did I seem too predictable? Too common? A sheep in the flock of screaming fans? My heart plummeted.
“Pouts are overrated,” I said, forcing a small smile, my voice softening into something calculatedly vulnerable. “I want to be different. Not just like…other girls. I loved you in the Eclipsed show, but also in Burning Hearts, Live Loud, Infrno's Edge...” I trailed off, naming a more obscure project, the kind only the most dedicated fans would know. I even threw in a few lines about a candid interview he once did, where he spoke about how sunsets reminded him of fleeting time.
His expression shifted—slightly, almost imperceptibly. But it was enough. The ghost of amusement danced on his lips, and he said, “Maybe you really are different from other girls.”
Inside, I was roaring. Victorious. Outside, I laughed softly, demurely. “Maybe.”
I am so much worse.
When I left the meet-and-greet, I told myself it was enough. To stand in his presence, to hear his voice aimed in my direction—wasn’t that already more than most could hope for? But hope is a greedy thing. It feeds on itself, growing hungrier with every indulgence.
That night, I couldn’t sleep. His voice lingered in my ears like a song on repeat, the low rasp of it curling around my thoughts. I replayed our brief exchange in my head, editing and polishing it, imagining what I could’ve said to make him linger just a second longer.
And then, of course, I opened the scrapbook.
It started innocently, as these things always do. A collection of concert photos, magazine clippings, interviews. But now, as I flipped through the pages, it felt insufficient. Two-dimensional. Katsuki wasn’t just a face on a page. He was a force, raw and untamed, and these flattened images could never capture him.
I needed more.
When I heard about his upcoming promotional event, I didn’t hesitate. The tickets were sold out within seconds, but I had connections—or rather, I made them. A fan forum moderator owed me a favor, and I cashed it in without a second thought.
The event was in a sleek, glass-paneled venue that gleamed under the city lights. I arrived early, blending seamlessly into the crowd. I wore my best dress—not flashy, but memorable. Just enough to catch his eye again.
This time, I didn’t bother with the front row. No, I wanted to watch from a distance, to see the full scope of his energy. He moved onstage like a storm contained within the fragile frame of a man. His voice electrified the room, his words sparking laughter and applause.
But every now and then, his gaze flickered over the crowd, scanning faces. Did he remember me? Did his eyes pause, even for a fraction of a second, on mine?
I convinced myself they did.
It was after the event, during the afterparty, that things began to change. I wasn’t supposed to be there, of course, but slipping past security was easier than I thought. People underestimate how much you can achieve when you’re polite, invisible, and just persistent enough to not raise alarms.
He was there, naturally—leaning against the bar, his posture relaxed but his eyes sharp. A few people approached him, but he brushed them off with a curt nod or a smirk that didn’t quite reach his eyes.
And then, somehow, I was beside him.
“Hey,” I said softly, almost shyly. “I’m surprised you’re not the center of attention.”
He looked at me, and for a second, I thought he might not remember. But then his expression shifted—a flicker of recognition, like a match striking against stone.
“You again,” he said.
From that moment on, it was as though I had been given permission. Not by him, of course, but by the universe. Surely this was fate, wasn’t it? To have crossed paths with him twice, in places swarming with thousands of people?
I began to learn things. Little things, at first—his preferred coffee shop, the route he took to the gym, the kind of music he played in his car when he thought no one was listening. These were harmless details, gathered with the precision of a collector adding rare gems to their trove.
But soon, harmless wasn’t enough.
The first time I followed him home, I told myself it was a mistake. I had been walking in the same direction, and it was pure coincidence that his apartment building loomed ahead of me. But then I did it again. And again.
His building was tall, sleek, and anonymous, but I found ways to breach its defenses. A delivery uniform, a borrowed ID badge—small deceptions that felt exhilarating in their simplicity.
I never crossed the final line. I never entered his apartment, though I knew exactly which door was his. Instead, I lingered in the shadows, content to imagine the life that unfolded within.
But imagination, like hope, is a hungry thing.
It’s funny, the way routine can warp into ritual. What began as occasional glimpses became a nightly pilgrimage. I knew his schedule better than my own. His habits—oh, how they fascinated me. The way he left his balcony door slightly ajar, as if inviting the wind—or something else. The flicker of his apartment light in the early hours, suggesting sleepless nights.
Once, I saw him standing there, silhouetted against the glow of his television, shirtless and utterly at ease. It felt intimate, watching him like that. Almost sacred.
He would never understand how much I admired him.
I started leaving small things behind. Harmless tokens—an autograph request slipped under his door, a pressed flower on his windowsill. Gifts that could be explained away if he ever noticed. They were never acknowledged, but that was fine. It wasn’t for him to notice. It was for me.
One night, he deviated from his routine. The precision of his life had always been a comfort to me—a series of movements I could predict and follow like a choreographed dance. But that night, he didn’t go home after his gym session.
Instead, he stopped at a convenience store, and I, foolishly emboldened by months of watching, followed him inside.
He was standing by the drink cooler, scanning the rows of energy drinks with a scowl. His hair was damp, his hoodie slung low over his face, and yet he was unmistakable.
I wasn’t supposed to get this close. Not yet.
But he turned, and suddenly we were face to face.
“Oh,” I said, startled into breaking the sacred silence between us. “Hi. Fancy seeing you here.”
His eyes narrowed. “Do I know you?”
My heart thrummed like a caged bird. Did he recognize me from the meet-and-greet? From the afterparty? Did he know I’d been watching him all this time?
“I’m a fan,” I said quickly, keeping my voice light, casual. “We’ve met before, at your event. Twice, actually.”
His gaze lingered on me, sharp and assessing, and for a moment, I thought I saw suspicion flicker across his face.
“Right,” he said finally, brushing past me with the kind of indifference that only he could make seem regal.
But as he left the store, I caught a glimpse of something in his expression—something that wasn’t indifference at all.
After that encounter, I couldn’t stop imagining what he thought of me. Did I stand out to him? Did he wonder about me the way I wondered about him? The thought was intoxicating.
I found myself becoming bolder. My nightly visits turned into longer stays. I started leaving notes with no name, no context—just fragments of thoughts I thought he might find poetic.
“The stars envy your light.”
“Even storms pause to admire you.”
“You are the reason the sun rises.”
Each one felt like a confession. A prayer.
But then one night, the notes disappeared. When I crept back to his door the following evening, there was nothing waiting for me. No sign that he had read them, or even seen them.
Had he thrown them away? Or worse—had someone else taken them before he could?
The thought burned like acid.
The line between admiration and possession is thinner than most realize. I crossed it without even noticing.
I started taking photos—not of him directly, but of the spaces he occupied. His balcony, his car parked in the same spot every night, the shadow of his figure through the curtains. My phone became a shrine, each image a sacred offering.
But it wasn’t enough.
One night, when I was sure he wasn’t home, I found myself standing at his door. My hand trembled as I reached for the handle, testing it. Locked, of course. But locks are just puzzles waiting to be solved.
I didn’t go inside—not yet. But I stood there, breathing in the faint scent that lingered in the hallway. It felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, the abyss yawning beneath me, daring me to jump.
The day it all unraveled was unremarkable. A sunny afternoon, ordinary in every way—until I saw him again.
This time, he wasn’t alone.
She was tall, elegant, with a laugh that rang out like silver bells. She touched his arm as they walked, her presence so seamless beside him that it made my chest ache.
The world tilted, sharp and unforgiving.
How dare she? Didn’t she know? He wasn’t hers to touch, to smile at, to laugh with.
He was mine.
I followed them, of course. Through the crowded streets, past the bustling cafes and shops, until they arrived at a small restaurant. They sat by the window, their faces illuminated by the golden light of the setting sun.
I stood outside, watching, my reflection in the glass overlapping with theirs.
For the first time, I allowed myself to hate him. Not just her—him. For being so blind, so careless, so utterly indifferent to the devotion I had poured into him.
You’re supposed to be mine.
The thought felt foreign, even to me. But once it took root, it spread like wildfire.
That night, I found myself back at his apartment building. The familiar routine should have soothed me, but it didn’t. My heart was pounding, each beat a war drum, as I stared up at his window.
The light was on. He was home.
But I wasn’t standing there just to watch anymore. I wasn’t there to leave notes or flowers or to bask in the glow of his existence. No, this time, I had crossed the threshold.
I waited in the shadows until the lobby door opened. A tenant stepped out, their face buried in their phone, oblivious to my presence as I slipped inside. The elevator doors gleamed like a portal to another world.
His floor was silent. The kind of silence that feels alive, pulsing with expectation. My footsteps were soft, my breath shallow, as I approached his door.
The lockpick trembled in my hand, but I’d practiced this moment a hundred times in my mind. The faint click was both satisfying and terrifying.
And then I was inside.
It was everything I had imagined and nothing like it at all.
The apartment was minimalist, almost sterile, with only a few personal touches—a jacket draped over a chair, an empty mug on the counter. The air smelled faintly of him, a mix of cologne and something darker, more primal.
I moved slowly, reverently, like a pilgrim in a holy place. My fingers traced the edge of the kitchen counter, the back of the sofa, the spine of a book on the coffee table.
And then I saw it.
A framed photograph on the bookshelf. It was him, of course, but not alone. She was there, too—the woman from the restaurant, her head tilted against his shoulder, her smile soft and radiant.
Something inside me snapped.
The sound of the front door opening shattered the silence.
I froze, the photo still in my hand, as his voice echoed through the apartment.
“Yeah, I’m home,” he said, his tone clipped, probably on the phone. “I’ll call you back.”
The click of the call ending was deafening.
And then he saw me.
For a moment, neither of us moved. His expression was a kaleidoscope of emotions—shock, anger, disbelief.
“What the—?” he started, but the words died in his throat as his eyes dropped to the photo in my hand.
“I just wanted to understand,” I said softly, my voice trembling. “Why her? Why not me?”
His jaw tightened, his hands curling into fists at his sides. “Who the hell are you? How did you get in here?”
I stepped closer, the photo still clutched against my chest like a shield. “I’m the one who’s been there for you. Watching, supporting, loving you when no one else understood.”
His face darkened, the anger in his eyes hardening into something sharper, colder. “You need to leave. Now.”
But I didn’t move.
“You don’t see it, do you?” I whispered. “How perfect we could be. How much I’ve given up for you. She doesn’t know you like I do. She’ll never understand you the way I do.”
His voice dropped, low and dangerous. “Get. Out.”
But I wasn’t afraid—not of him, not of anything. Not anymore.
“I’m not leaving,” I said, my voice steady now. “Not until you see me.”
The argument escalated quickly. His anger clashed with my desperation, the two of us locked in a battle neither could win. He tried to push past me, to call for help, but I grabbed his arm.
“Don’t,” I said, my voice breaking. “Don’t do this to me.”
He wrenched free, his movements sharp and unforgiving. “You’re insane.”
The word hit me like a physical blow.
Insane.
After everything I’d done for him, everything I’d sacrificed, that was what he thought of me?
I don’t remember much after that. The emotions—rage, heartbreak, betrayal—all blurred together in a red haze. I remember the sound of something shattering, the photo frame hitting the floor. I remember his voice, shouting, but the words were lost in the chaos.
And then, silence.
When I came back to myself, I was standing in the middle of the room, my chest heaving, my hands trembling. He was gone—whether he had fled or whether I had…
I couldn’t let myself think about it.
The apartment felt different now. The air was heavier, the shadows deeper. I looked down at the shattered photo frame, the glass shards glinting like tiny stars.
I picked up the photo, carefully tucking it into my pocket.
It wasn’t over. Not yet.
Katsuki would understand eventually. He had to.
After all, no one loved him like I did.
The room is cold, sterile. The kind of cold that seeps into your bones, reminding you that you’re somewhere you don’t belong. A single light hangs overhead, casting harsh shadows on the walls, and the mirror on the far side reflects nothing but my own weary face.
Well, not just my face.
I know he’s there, standing on the other side. Watching me. Listening.
The officer across from me clears his throat, his expression caught somewhere between pity and disgust. “You’ve said enough. We’ve got everything we need.”
But I’m not finished. Not yet.
“You don’t understand,” I say, my voice soft but steady. “It’s not what you think.”
He sighs, flipping through the file in front of him. I catch glimpses of photos—my notes, my gifts, his shattered photo frame. Evidence, they’d called it. Proof of my “obsession.”
“Help me understand, then,” he says, leaning forward, his tone patronizing. “Because right now, it looks like you broke into Katsuki Bakugou’s apartment and—”
“I didn’t break in,” I interrupt, my voice rising just enough to startle him. “I let myself in. He left the door open for me. He knew I was coming.”
The officer’s brows knit together in disbelief. “And why would he do that?”
I smile, leaning back in my chair, feeling the faintest flicker of triumph. “Because he needed to see me. To finally realize who I am.”
The officer shakes his head, muttering something under his breath before standing. “You’re delusional.”
The voices outside the interrogation room are muffled, but I can still hear fragments of their conversation.
“She’s nuts. Every detail she remembers—it’s like she’s been living his life alongside him.”
“Obsessed, more like. Did you see the journal we confiscated? She knows what time he brushes his teeth, for crying out loud.”
Someone else laughs nervously. “Poor guy. No wonder he’s freaked out. She’s on a whole other level.”
But then I hear his voice—low, gravelly, and unmistakable.
“She’s different.”
The laughter stops.
“What do you mean?” another officer asks cautiously.
There’s a pause, and I imagine him standing there, arms crossed, that signature scowl on his face.
“I’ve had fans follow me before,” he says, his tone unreadable. “They scream, they cry, they cross boundaries. But this one… she’s worse.”
His voice drops lower, and I lean forward, straining to hear.
“She’s worse because she actually got under my skin.”
The officer returns to the room, his expression stony. “This is over. You’re being transferred soon.”
But I barely hear him. My eyes are on the mirror, on the faint outline of movement behind it. I know he’s still there. Watching. Listening.
“I’m not sorry,” I say, directing my words to him, not the officer. “I’d do it all again. For you.”
The officer exhales sharply, shaking his head as he gathers his papers. “You’re a real piece of work.”
He leaves, and for a moment, it’s just me and the silence.
And then the door opens again.
I feel him before I see him. The weight of his presence, the intensity of his gaze—it’s unmistakable. He doesn’t sit, doesn’t speak. He just stands there, arms crossed, his crimson eyes burning into me like fire.
“You really are different,” he says finally, his voice low and sharp.
I smile, the kind of smile that comes from knowing you’ve won something no one else ever could.
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” I whisper.
He doesn’t reply. His jaw tightens, and for the first time, I see something in his eyes that wasn’t there before. Not anger. Not fear.
Something darker.
Something that looks an awful lot like acknowledgment.
End.
a/n: another reminder to never stalk people. i didn't write this to romanticize stalking, however, this idea's been weighing in my head and i knew i needed to write it down somewhere. here is somewhere. k bye.
#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x you#bakugou imagine#bakugou fanfiction#bakugou headcanons#bakugou scenarios#bakugou#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugou#mha katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha scenarios#boku no hero fanfic#boku no hero angst#boku no hero imagines#psychological horror#tw stalking
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Shadow X GN Reader
Intertwined
Based off of one of my favorite Dodie songs Shadow has a nightmare and you comfort him back to sleep lot of hurt/comfort with lots of sweet cuddles.
-Enjoy
It was his thrashing that woke you up. with the sheer amount of trauma it was never a bother to you, his nightmares. you were used to them at this point it. Still seeing the love of your life suffer at the chaos in his own mind made your heart break just as much as the first time you saw it.
you learned to proceed with caution, waking him up prematurely could cause him further confusion which would only make the situation worse. sometimes as much as your hand pressed against his back was enough to calm him down no waking up necessary. unfortunately, tonight was not one of those nights.
Shadow bolted upright out of bed letting out a cry of agony his eyes shot open as tears began to stream soaking his face and dripping onto the bedsheets below.
"Hey, hey, hey, I'm here it's okay." you leaped into action speaking gently as you made your way into his line of vision. "Take a deep breath it was just a dream. you're safe, I promise."
Shadow obeyed as you gently cupped his face wiping the tears from his eyes. He was shaking whatever he was dreaming about really must have messed with his head.
you wrapped your arms around him attempting to steady him. he buried his face in the crook of your neck wrapping his arms tightly around you, as if you were to disappear if he let go.
You waited for him to speak. It always took him a moment to collect his thoughts after a particularly bad nightmare.
"Are you sure you're safe with me?" He finally broke the silence.
"What? Of course I am, What makes you think that?"
"I know that people want me for my power, they can't hurt me, they know that, but what's keeping them from hurting you? Eggman he took you, tortured you, and let you die in front of me. all while I was powerless to stop him."
"That's not going to happen Shadow."
"How do you know?"
"Because, You won't let it, and neither will I, you trained me to protect myself remember?"
"yah but-"
"There will always be a but my love. Being with you, being with anyone really, there is always some sort of risk. I chose you and will continue to choose you despite those risks. Not because I don't care about them, but because every second you're in my life it makes all of those risks worth it. Feel this." You placed his hand on your chest so he could feel your pulse. "I'm still here, see? and you're here with me, which means no matter what even if an enemy crashes through that door right now I am still safe because were together."
"I still worry about you."
"I know, and I'm grateful just relax and lay with me for now, tell me everything I want to hear it you don't have to go through it alone.
You laid down, Shadow following suit placing his head on your chest so he could hear your heart beat, the rhythmic thumping calming him as he wrapped himself around you.
'Skin. Heat. Hair in your mouth, feet touching feet. you and I, safe from the world, though the world will try.'
you stroked the top of his head feeling him melt into you as your hand moved along his silky quills.
"You know you're the only one who can do that right?" He commented
You giggled "Yah, I Know"
You felt him smile against you.
'Numb, Fine, You create the rarity of my genuine smile. So breathe, breathe with me.'
Shadow began telling you about his nightmare, all the horrible details of an event that would never come to pass. He told you about the anxiety he felt when he couldn't find you. how he hated himself for letting you get hurt even though it was just a dream. he didn't want his mind to go there it just did on it's own.
'Can you drink all my thoughts cause I can't stand them'
Shadow wrapped himself around you further, as if he were trying to merge your bodies together, so you would never have to be apart again.
"I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you on my watch, I can't lose you, not in the way I lost everyone else."
"I know dear, that's why I won't let it happen."
'Intertwined. Free. I've pinned each and every hope on you, i hope that you don't bleed with me.'
the more shadow talked the more at ease you felt him become, his grip loosened on you as his muscles relaxed, his head grew heavy against you easing you into a relaxed state as well.
When he was done you thanked him for telling you everything, you reassured him that everything would be fine, as long as the two of you worked as a team which seemed to comfort him.
'I'm afraid of the things in my brain. but we can stay here and laugh away the fear'
you hummed mindlessly as you stroked Shadows head lulling him to sleep, you followed suit not long after. The rest of the night was silent as the two of you slept in each other's arms, fighting off whatever nightmares came your lover's way.
#shadow the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog x reader#shadow x reader#shadow#x reader#sonic fanfiction#not beta read#hurt/comfort
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We need a pp4 for many gay reasons but specifically because I need a Chappell Roan mashup from the Bellas
No because hear me out, the Bellas are back together for some kind of reterospective thing for worlds, say it's been like idk 30 years since the first worlds competition and all the past winners have been invited back (so in addition to the collegiate comp there's also like an all stars thing going on) Beca hasn't seen Chloe since she moved in with Chicago and is a little salty about the whole thing tbh, but it is what it is and there's plenty of bonding and shizzle going as everyone reunites and rehearses like the old days ft. Captain Posen and her "if we don't win I'm jumping out of that specific 20 storey window" 2attitude (because get out of my face with that "I hate performing" bullshit)
ANYWAY let's not get onto the character assassination in pp3 we'll be here all day... so Aubrey is in charge as usual and tells Beca to put together a mashup setlist, y'know back to their roots and what they do best while badgering Emily for an original song to put them over the top. Beca's like bet here's my gayest mashup to date it's all Chappell Roan songs and Aubrey, who has had to put up with this pining bs for YEARS between Beca and Chloe. sees her opportunity and choreographs it so Beca and Chloe have no choice but to sing lesbian indie country pop practically right in each others mouths and when Beca goes perhaps a little too hard during good luck babe in rehearsal Chloe pulls her aside like "um... do you have something you need to say to me??"
Which of course leads to Beca exploding and word vomiting every feeling she's had for the last decade in the midst of the argument that they're having, and when she shows no sign of shutting up or pausing even in this tirade of emotions Chloe just kisses her. That works, and once Beca remembers how her brain works she manages to ask Chloe about Chicago learning they broke up ages ago which Beca would know if she hadn't have been avoiding her like an idiot
Cue a lot of teasing and "FINALLY!" from the Bellas who have been watching on, they go back to rehearsals, Aubrey making Beca and Chloe the centre of their choreography to showcase their chemistry and making them world champions for the second time, Beca and Chloe go back home together and start doing the damn thing they should've been doing this while time, maybe a flashforward or two with their wedding etc, roll credits as Ben Platt's cherry on top plays us out because we all know without Benji there wouldn't have been a franchise to begin with
Oh, and the Bellas finally win a riff off.
#pitch perfect#bechloe#did i think that would turn into a whole movie pitch??? no.#so i have any regrets about it??? also no.#see what chappell roan does to me???#all this born from listening to femininomenon and thinking the bellas would absolutely rock this as a performance i want them to do a mashu#anyway yeah you can all back to your days now thanks dkfgjlfdkjg
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Trust | Loki x Gn!Reader
Hello!!! It's been awhile ;) I just finally finished Loki S2 and I haddd to write something angsty, because apparently that is how I cope. I love Loki with all my being it might actually be unhealthy. Sooo requests are open!!! For any character on my ML. I finally got medicated so now I can actually complete projects? Crazy.
Master List
𝐋𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Song Rec - Sailor Song, by Gigi Perez
Warnings: Angst, Season 2 Loki Spoilers, No use of Y/N, Gender Neutral Reader.
Desc: Loki’s internal struggle while knowing what the right thing to do is. But how can he leave you?
Words: 739
SPOILERS FOR LOKI S2 BELOW
⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆
What is it when people say, “Trust me,” that makes others immediately not want to trust them?
Loki didn’t know, and he didn’t think he’d ever understand it, especially due to the title he carried. The God of Lies and Mischief. He wasn’t one deserving of trust. He had always refrained from asking people to 'trust him'.
However.
The words came tumbling from his lips before he could think.
But, instead of laughing in his face at the pure absurdity of his ask. Your eyes softened. Your hands had reached for his face, brushing the sweaty hair away from his forehead. You had nodded.
You had given him your trust without a second thought.
“I trust you,” you had whispered, and his world stopped. It’s not like he hadn’t heard those words fall from your lips a thousand times before. But now, with zero explanation, zero communication, no promises, no plans, you had trusted him.
From nothing you had trusted him.
He felt like melting, your hands brushing against his forehead. He didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want to leave you living on without him. But he knew what he had to do, he knew that the only way you could exist was this. It was his last option.
Trust him, he had tried.
“Don’t go where I cannot follow.” You had said to him, once, long ago, and now here he was. Going somewhere where your mortal soul could not follow. No matter what, he would be alone. He would be leaving you alone.
His hand found your hips, his forehead falling upon yours, “I love you, My Lady,” he whispered, his eyes closed, breathing your smell in. Absorbing your presence for as long as he could. And technically he could. He had spent the past few centuries trying his best to make it so you survived, where you survived together. Looping space and time for longer than he could even believe. But for you, it had only been a matter of minutes. He had the luxury of seeing your face for as long as he had wanted, as long as he desired. You only got to remember this version of him. This was the last version you would ever see.
His eyes snapped open, pulling his forehead away from yours, before leaning in to kiss you as his eyes fluttered shut once more. The kiss was slow, passionate, a final goodbye.
You had felt it, your hands going up and around his neck, pulling him closer than ever before. His hands moving from your hips to cup your cheeks gently.
Loki’s heartbeat slowed as he finally pulled away, gazing into your eyes. Oh, your eyes. He hoped he would never forget the color.
“I love you Loki.” You had finally whispered back. You had tried to mask the sadness, the sorrow you felt. But he knew you better than that. He could hear the crack - the shattering, that happened within you in that exact moment.
It was almost impossible to look away, he studied every feature. He stared for so long he felt like he could see your soul in you, the way it pulled for him. He might just dissolve into your gaze, he’d never seen anyone look at him the way you were now.
Mournful at the loss of him.
So as he stepped back, he broke your gaze. In that moment Loki turned, and walked down the stars.
Mobius and Slvyie noticed, both of them rushing the stairs, almost pushing your rigid form to the floor as you watched Loki's back move down the stairs.
He couldn't turn back to you, if he did, he might turn back time for a millennia, just to see your face. To let things play out, over and over again.
Just for you.
But that was selfish. Selfish of him to not let you experience time and space the way it was supposed to be played out. Live your life, the way you wanted it to be. It would be selfish of him to face you forever, while you only got mere seconds.
He turned, seeing Mobius and Sylvie at the stairs, banging on the door for him, yelling for him to come back. Begging him that this was not right.
“I know what kind of God I need to be.”
And there he went, where you could not follow, but yet trusting him to do what he knew was right.
You trusted him.
#loki#loki laufeyson#marvel#marvel x reader#loki x reader#Loki laufeyson x reader#loki imagine#loki oneshot#loki x reader oneshot#thor ragnarok#loki imagine x reader#loki laufesyon x reader#x reader#thor#thor a dark world#thor odinson#thor love and thunder#frigga#thor the dark world#thor 2011#loki series#tva#loki season 2#loki season 1#loki series two#loki two#loki one#loki season two#loki season one#loki angst
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Apple Scruff Carol Bedford’s “relationship” with George Harrison Part 2
After returning to London in May 1970, Carol’s story becomes more “intimate” I would say as her “relationship” with George continues. The Apple scruffs witness the break up of the Beatles and the drama between everyone and even describes an incident where reporters physically attack George outside the studios and the scruffs help remove the reporter and get George to his car to escape, also making sure no one else attack the other members when they leave the building.
There are a few odd interactions with Mal but he was known for hitting on the scruffs. Margo warns the others that Mal uses your interest in one of the Beatles to make his own pass. I’m aware those incidents are described Living the Beatles Legend.
After staying almost all night outside the studios, the scruffs decide to call it a night and head home. Carol states on her way to where she’s staying, George’s car pulls up beside her. During this interaction, George gives her a book; The Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda. There's been a few people that have said that George would give out this book to friends and family.
“I want you to remember something that will help you,” George said, seriously. “God is in you and everyone. We all have God in us.”
The next day, Mal finds Carol and asks her if she read the book yet and said that George was “anxious” on her opinion of it.
There’s interaction Carol and George was when Carol was heading to her bus stop after leaving the studio. George’s car pulls up beside her and offers her a ride home, which she says yes to. It’s sad conversation, both of them are talking about depression and he talks about the pressure of being a Beatle and his lack of privacy. Carol offers him a number to a clinic where he can talk to someone about his depression. I can see one of them venting to a fan or to someone who will listen especially with everything that was happening during that time. Unfortunately, Carol just had to tell the others about the car ride and the talk they had which she shouldn’t have done. It’s not their business.
“This is special. You’re the only one of us to get close to one of them. […] I’ve had loads of conversations with Paul but none that personal. George was treating you like a friend. […]”
Jumping ahead to the day where Mal asks the girls to come into the studio. Entering the control room and are played the song Apple Scruffs for the first time which they was in awe. They thank George for the song and even gift him flowers later.
The 1970 Christmas party part was a little crazy to me. Carol sent George a letter, thinking he was making fun of them by coming out of the studio saying how “warm” it was in there and it’s cold outside. (No one making camp outside girly. That’s on you lol). During this conversation, it almost feels like a "confession" scene that George says while drunk.
“He [George] gently pushed me into a narrow area where the filing cabinets made a small box square. […] George stepped in front of me and leaned against the wall. He then pulled me closer in front of him. […]
'If you think of me, I'll be there. I'm with you always, in here.' he tapped my breast gently and removed his hand. 'I'm not sure what you mean by that. it would be impossible to "get over you." Every time I turn on the radio, I'll hear your voice. [...]". “I’ll [George] always be with you. We’re apart of each other. I wrote a song about us the other day. It goes like: I, I, I love you. You, you, you love me. We’re together always. We’re in each other. You don’t need to see me walk out of a building, do you?”
Who knows what happened at the party but drunk men can say pretty wild stuff.
As the story goes, Carol continues on with her small moments with George and her relationship with the other scruffs.
One of the craziest things she said in this book is implying that George wanted to start an affair with her by moving her into a LA apartment so he can visit her without the media finding out which of course doesn’t sound like George at all but this is Mal telling her that this is what George wants, only for Mal to force a kiss on her. So either Mal was telling the truth or wanting her to be vulnerable to make a move on her.
After this, she decides she needs to stop “waiting” outside the studio for George and move on with her life which is understandable. She does what she can to avoid him and the last time she saw George was when he entered the A&M Records (where she was working at the time) when he was creating his own label Dark Horse Records.
I know people don’t like Carol’s book and say she lied about most of the things in her book but I found it interesting and I’m not taking it to heart. I remember reading something about George being upset about the book, but I can’t remember where.
It does at first feel like reading someone’s diary but it takes a turn half way through. It does read a lot like fanfiction and if it was, it would probably do well on Wattpad to be honest.
Excerpts from Waiting for the Beatles and photo from fellow fan.
#the beatles#george harrison#1969#all things must pass#john lennon#paul mccartney#ringo starr#apple scruff
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Against the Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)
And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!
Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush
I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours
The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart
"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"
"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"
"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"
"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"
"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."
"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."
"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."
Fast Car (Tracy Chapman)
You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere/Maybe we make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere/Any place is better, starting from zero got nothing to lose/Maybe we'll make something, me myself I got nothing to prove
So I remember when we were driving, driving in your car/Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk/City lights lay out before us/ And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder/And I-I, had a feeling that I belonged
You got a fast car/Is it fast enough so we can fly away?/We gotta make a decision/Leave tonight or live and die this way
"I know it's an obvious one but YOU try playing it without crying I dare you"
"I cant explain the yearning but this makes me howl"
"OH GOD the longing!! The yearning in the recurring central image of the narrator and her lover on the highway, feeling this sense of limitless possibility and incredible hope!!! And then the verses take us with brutal efficiency through the collapse of their marriage, the way that the cycle of poverty stomps down on their hopes, and how with nothing left, the narrator does what her mom did and leaves!! Leaving the kids to experience the same thing she did growing up!! But it’s all punctuated and bookended by these callbacks to that central iconic memory of hope!!!!! But by the end we realize that the last line “leave tonight or live and die this way” offers only the illusion of a choice: when the narrator first runs away and later when she leaves her husband and kids, she’s still fulfilling her role in this cyclical generational story. God!!"
Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others
Fast Car submitted by @smallboyonherbike + @uchihasasukeofficial + @all-our-exploring
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youtube
it's that time of year again
#you're welcome!#every time I hear this song I remember them doing this#doctor who#amy pond#karen gillan#arthur darville#eleventh doctor#matt smith#rory williams#dw#christmas#Youtube
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Reminds me of “The World Was Wide Enough”, a song from the musical, Hamilton!
youtube
#sonic movie 3#sonicmovie3hype#movie shadow#movie sonic#I’d imagine Movie Sonic being Alexander Hamilton and Movie Shadow as Aaron Burr 😭#🎶The World Was Wide Enough Sayonara… Shadow The Hedgehog🎶#Movie Shadow: 🎶 I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory Is this where it gets me on my feet several feet ahead of me? 🎶#🎶 I see it coming do I run or fire my gun or let it be?🎶 🎶There is no beat no melody 🎶#🎶 Sonic a young hedgehog whom I consider an uneasy ally and had our first rivalry Maybe the last face I ever see 🎶#🎶 If I throw away my shot is this how you'll remember me? 🎶 🎶 What if this sacrifice is my legacy? Legacy what is a legacy? 🎶#🎶 It's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see 🎶 🎶 I wrote some notes at the beginning of a song someone will sing for me 🎶🎶#🎶Earth you great unfinished symphony it was too much of a Mad Mad Mad Mad World for me 🎶#🎶 You let me make a difference a place where even weird technicolour space alien orphan children 🎶#🎶 Can leave their fingerprints and rise up I'm running out of time I'm running and my time's up 🎶#🎶 Wise up eyes up I catch a glimpse of the other side 🎶 🎶My creator my father Gerald Robotnik is on the other side 🎶#🎶 He's with his granddaughter Maria who’s on the other side Teach me how to say goodbye 🎶 🎶 Rise up rise up rise up MARIA! 🎶#🎶 My best friend my sister I’d love you to take your time 🎶 “I'll give them a chance to be happy…”#Company: 🎶 he uses the very last of his chaos energy- Movie Shadow: “CHAOS CONTROL!” Movie Sonic: “WAIT!”#Movie Sonic: “He was unable to maintain his super transformation form any longer” “I tried to stop him but he punched me away”#“I get a drink” = “I get a chilli dog 💀”#🎶Aaaah Aaaah Aaaah 🎶#“I hear cheering in the streets” 🎶Aaaah Aaaah Aaaah 🎶#🎶 They say Gerald and Shadow Were both at her side when she died 🎶#🎶 Death doesn't discriminate Between the sinners and the saints it takes and it takes and it takes 🎶#🎶History obliterates in every picture it paints It paints me and all my mistakes 🎶#Movie Sonic: 🎶 Before Shadow The Hedgehog feel down to Earth he aimed at the sky He may have been the first one to die 🎶#🎶 But I'm the one who paid for it I survived but I paid for it 🎶 🎶Now I’m the “hero” in your history I was too young and blind to see 🎶#🎶I should've known I should've known the world was wide enough for both The Ultimate Lifeform and me 🎶#🎶The World Was Wide Enough For both The Ultimate Lifeform and me… 😭🎶
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sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.
#Using randomly gendered words because that’s me now but hey#Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else#It STILL sucks to always be grouped along with ‘girls’ just because of your voice and realize#You CANT hit that. You can’t hit the mark for ‘girl’. You’ll never achieve that without like. Hrt#Just say THE VOCAL CLASS. Like. Sopranos sing with this. Tenors with this. Bass with this. Etc#Then it doesn’t hurt! But nooo instead they’re looking or ‘sing with the other girls’ and you fucking can’t#And it gives you a crisis at age 14#Anyway all I know is when other people who were assigned female at birth and aren’t on something they changes ones voice#and just happen to have born with the same deep ass voice as me. It makes me proud to hear them use it#Because not enough people do. It’s like we’re all collectively embarrassed or something#I see so many sad posts from teenagers posting their dream roles and the reason they won’t get it is ‘girl’#and it’s like. I remember being that kid. Never able to get a female lead because of my voice. Never able to get a male lead because of gir#Even though my voice and appearance could easily swing male. Nope! You’re GIRL. So you’re doomed to background forever :)#I got 1 lead role and it was when I was at my most feminine and was also for a villain that was a fat hag#I LOOOOVED playing her im aunt sponge forever. BUT. Never getting one again after that… showed me. Something#More gender blind casting and more songs just written for tenors please#doing just ONE of those things would probably solve the issue#But both please because I’m greedy and I want what I couldn’t have for every kid today#(And also me in the future in adult community theatre. Haven’t had time/too intimidated so far but I WILL go back)#And before anyone questions the language on this post. I STRUGGLED with how to word it#TERFs begone. I love trans people. I am nonbinary and some form of intersex (pcos).#I just word it this way because of like. Where we all start#Whether we stay GIRL girls or realize we’re somewhere in between. It crushes us either way to have the ‘wrong’ voice to do anything#Because it did me at first. And I’m otherwise GLAD to be confusing#I’ve come to love my deep voice it baffles others and they never know what to call me it really helps the whole ‘what am I’ presentation#But. In terms of certain things. Like being in theatre in the deep south#It certainly does not help and can be disheartening#Especially back when I was younger and more self conscious#lion’s lair
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#every once in a while ill go back after cleaning up music on my phone and relisten to old rock songs then redownload them#but im thinking. how the fuck did 3/4 of my immediate family listen to disturbed. just one song but huh#actually maybe 2.. also trapt? who the hell is that anyway we all just know headstrong 😭#i redownload and delete and redownload it all the time LMAO#skilet and three days grace and OH breaking benjamin we all listened to a lot too#and i say 3/4 bc i dont know what the fuck my dad likes? pit..bull..? lmfao..? thai music?? im so confused#FALL OUT BOY ALWAYS HITS#also that fucking. roach last resort shit. my brother still has it in his spotify playlist and it always makes me laugh so fucking hard#anyway i do rmr skillet and breaking benjamin being big bc we all liked it. also how did we all like disturbed but now none of them listen#to rock sob sob#also i used to share three days grace and fucking hollywood undead to my younger cousin??? what was wrong w me for sharing HU...#HE DOESNT REMEMBER IT THO?? its really funny LMAO#also evanescence but i found more songs on my own and ofc we together only kinda had uhh 2 songs#NUMB ENCORE.. I TOTALLY FORGET ABT IT AND IT BLOWS MY MIND EVERYTIME IT RESURFACES IN MY HEAD HOLY SHIT#BANGER but anyw my point was uhh smn smn sharing music is great and im happy we all bonded over rock before lol#44597#IDK I FORGOT HALF WAY IN 😭 GO ROCK!! im redownloading some of the shit i dont have again LMAO#OUGH ALSO NOBODY CARES BUT ME AND MY COUSIN R SO 06 ALL HAIL SHADOW PILLED#THAT WHEN MY BROTHER PLAYED THE OG ALL HAIL SHADOW I KID U NOT I WAS LIKE IS THAT A COVER WHAT VERS IS THIS#SORRY IM SO CRUSH40 PILLED I LITERALLY PLAYED SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG ON THE PS2 AND ON AN EMULATOR?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT#/LH BC ITS STILL GOOD BUT THAT IS NOT MY JAM. 06 IS WHERE ITS AT#crush40 was so good for sonic songs though esp all hail shadow and ungravitify OUGH crush40 versions r like almost always my fav#wait with movie and year of shadow ppl r going back n commenting all over this old yt upload of all of me from 11 years ago LMAOOO#dude they have to give knuckles kickass rap songs again PLEASE unknown from M.E makes me laugh so hard BUT ITS NOT BAD#AND PUMPKIN HILL ok that wasnt tehcnically his but it literally TALKS ABT KNUCKLES. ITS LITERALLY ABT HIM BRO#that ones funny to me bc my cousin loved it sm and he was legit like trying to hear the lyrics but he couldnntt#a ghost tried to approach me AND GOT MARRIED??? 🤨🤨 i cant take this song seriously ASLKDJS#CHECK YES JULIET.. JUST REALIZED MY BESTIES USED TO LIKE SOFT ROCK WITH ME?? they dont listen to that at all anymore omg
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i can't remember what it's like to just casually listen to music from lots of different bands/artists all the time without getting severely attached to just one and wanting to only listen to them for a large amount of time
#me#i did that when i was a teenager#i had one big mix playlist#i don't even remember how i felt at the time#i think i was just trying to learn more bands by listening to a few songs from each one a lot#and i just threw them all into one playlist and played it nonstop for a while#and kept adding more things to it#but i don't think that lasted too long either before i got attached to one#and my boyfriend is the opposite of me#he likes having a big list of different things#he will rarely listen to a whole album#i loooove albums#if i'm gonna listen to something from a band i'll probably want to hear more from that same band#because it's like#that song just put my brain into whatever place that band created in it#if i listen to a song from a different band that feels like it's changing to a different place in my brain now#because each band has its own brain slot#and i like to stay in one place for longer than just one song#it's like too much traveling back and forth in my head otherwise and feels exhausting after too long#if any of that makes sense to anybody other than me#even just having my sudden memory of rooney and going back into that for a day or two was like.#yes but also no because i need my russ back#the speed at which i started missing russ was like. immediately. and it increased in intensity the more time i spent on them#hoW DO PEOPLE LISTEN TO MANY DIFFERENT THINGS EVERY DAY? i just can't#(i do love learning other music and having it sent to me though but that's different. everyone should send me songs)
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recently reminded myself how much i loved day6 and i've just been having sm fun rediscovering old favorites and listening to new songs and just falling in love with them all over again-
#making this post cause all of sudden 121U started playing and i was just so happy hearing it- i love that song (fun fact: remember us#youth pt. 2 used to be my favorite album until the book of us gravity came out~ i happily own both (along w/moonrise))#kate's ramble of the day#anyways if you want some fun transitions~ deep in love to how to love by day6 is sm fun#and then run to me by the bee gee(s) to everyday we fight- to sweat by zb-1#i'm not kidding i have sm fun making these transitions~ it's literally my lifeblood here currently#(i also i actively try not to tag groups that the post isn't about tbh)#day6 will always hold a special place in my heart- every day6 will forever be my holy grail- to experience a new song every month?#ugh- will forever crave waking up on the 6th day of the month for a new day6 song- (hehe the one time where they didn't post#til the following day?)#idk i can talk about them forever- but alas my old bias ended up being an asshole so i now happily bias our lovely drummer#kate rambles#i saw someone on ig say the love 'everyday we fight' and it took me so long to listen to it and now i'm obsessed with it- i love it sm#but my favorites while we're here and i rarely talk about them are: what can i do- days gone by- headache- 121U- time of our life#365247- Not Mine- love me or leave me- and ofc the holy grail- my creme de la creme: Wanna Go Back
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ok i have like. the very rough outline for this animatic.
#my post#ripposting#really just need rhe quotes now bcus i know what parts of the song are which fights#oh my god. im gonna have to animate combat.#*frantically pulls up sad.ist* GIRL HELP HOW DO I DRAW FIGHTING#<- uses them as a ref for like every animatic i do lol#i just realized actually. this wasnt intentional but i totally am amking a sa.dist-style animatic rn#its even set to a 2w.ei song ToT#but anyways im sosososo excited for this :DDD the first 48 seconds are just them arriving at the BLOCK#BUT their pirate oath from what binds us is playing. ooo can i do effects on the audio? bcus i kinda want it to be abit echo-ey....#but yeah and then chip as tay is all like 'we need to get these pirates inside!!' and the guard goes 'did we ever get a name for this crew?#and then theres like this moment of silence. and thats where chips gonna go 'the r.iptide pirates :)' and then BOOM LOUD MUSIC#thats where they fight shrek. i dont remember what that monster was i always called that fight the shrek encounter. then the hall w that#pirate dude!! then the tundra!! oh big j... then its MEAT ROOM TIME!!! and then DESERT ROOM!!!!! at 2:02 is when they start attacking each#other in the desert room :3 then its the center with drey!!! and then theres a quieter slow part. thats where nfw goes.#the song actually ends there but i looped part of it so it gets loud again :3 thats where the running away happens!! and then as it fades#out again thats where theyre safe on the ship and jay screams at her dad even though hes too far away to hear it and shes all like 'IM GONN#BE THE BEST GODDAMN PIRATE YOUVE EVER SEEN!!' and chip goes 'i dont doubt it sureshot :]' CRIESSS anyways then very quietly as the audio al#fades out gill goes 'im glad you got to shoot me' and jay goes 'me too lol' and that is where we end the animatic 👍#its like 4 1/2 minutes long pray for me guys
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Hey btw are we all aware of the fuckin. GPS geocaching thing Lord Huron did to promote Vide Noir the first time around. Like that hasn't become forgotten knowledge yet has it
#no one promotes an album like lord huron#i was thinking back to when i yknow first got into them and when i used to play with the vide noir phone line when it was still up#and i was remembering how bummed i was that my brother got to do the whole hike for a sneak peek of wait by the river#and of course i was too late for that but#jesus i need to know that the lh fandom hasnt forgotten#that this fuckin band#legit sent people to specfic coordinates in specific parks#just to get them to hear a bit of a song#AND WE DID IT#WE DID THAT WE LET THAT HAPPEN#i guess i gotta hand that one to them#lord huron is the king of the gimmicks but they never fall on deaf ears yk#we eat that shit uo every time#as we SHOULD
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i love making jrock playlists by adding random spotify recommendations i highly recommend
#just remembered how much i love yrsk#every time i hear her voice i swear#i can't explain how i feel#anyway i have a 3h+ playlist of mostly songs i don't know and maybe 5 i do#i think i will end up liking all of them#hopefully#anyway this is the end of my tiktok songs phase#i love having a slightly diverse music taste of jrock and indie#and also kpop sometimes#it feels nice to have options
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