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heyyyharry · 3 years ago

Text

Happier

(inspired by happier by Olivia Rodrigo)

Word count: 2.4k

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Part 1: Drivers License

Part 2: Deja Vu

A/N: I edited the original lyrics to match the POV :)

Harry had come up with a thousand scenarios of how this day would play out. Actually, he’d been thinking of this day since the moment he’d received the news. He didn’t dare to hope that she’d say yes to coming back for a sequel. He’d been sure that they would write her character off, give a lame excuse for how his love interest could not make a return and make his character forget about her completely to move on with a new girl in town. It would have been great if it was that easy in real life. Once someone was written off the script, they were gone for good. Real-life relationships were not that simple. Goodbye didn’t mean ‘never see you again’. You would still share the same friend circle and social bubbles, and it was worse when you two worked in the same industry. Harry didn’t know how he’d lasted a year without running into her, not since the Grammys.

“Didn’t you two date?”

“No.” Harry shook his head, but his eyes stayed glued on Y/N from across the room. She wasn’t looking his way, too busy saying hello to everyone else. “No,” he repeated, more to himself than to his co-star. “We didn’t.”

“But she wrote an entire album about you,” said the other twin. What was her name again? Lulu?

“Luna!” cried her sister, Lex. “You can’t ask him that!”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry said with a tight smile, slightly annoyed by the blonde twins, but he didn’t want to seem like an ass on the first day of filming. “And I don’t know if it was for me. You should ask Y/N.”

“Ask me what?”

Harry flinched when he looked up and saw Y/N padding towards them. She hugged the twins, who seemed way too excited. Harry guessed they were Y/N’s fans. They gave off crazy fangirl vibes, probably just pretending not to know the drama to interrogate him. He couldn’t blame them for assuming he was the villain and definitely could not blame Y/N for portraying him as one. It was more important that he knew who he was and how much he had changed since his last relationship. Maybe they could finally be friends.

“Were they bothering you?” Y/N asked him once the twins had left.

Harry nodded. “They’re your friends?”

“Oh, I met them last year on tour. I’m surprised you don’t know them. They were on Disney.”

“I don’t watch Disney,” Harry admitted with a smile. “Well, not today’s Disney.”

“Understandable.” Y/N nodded and bit her lip. She seemed guarded with her straight back and hands hidden behind her. She eyed him up and down, quite subtle yet noticeable. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good,” he said, nodding slowly. “You?”

“Yeah, but mostly tired because of tour.”

“You’re done?”

“Yup, last night was the last show.”

“Nice.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Nice?”

Harry blinked. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” Y/N giggled. “You still sound very...you.”

“Well, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, you should. But it’s been a year so…I mean, you haven’t changed much.”

“Right,” he said lowly, his eyes falling to his feet. Harry supposed he should say something else, perhaps bringing up another random topic to discuss, but all he could think about was what had happened between them. Things had been messy, hadn’t they? How could they go back to before that? Before her first song about him. Before he’d chosen someone else over her.

Or he could talk about her new relationship. She’d been in a happy relationship for almost six months, right? No wait, hadn’t they broke up two weeks ago? He wasn’t sure because he hadn’t been catching up. If they’d broken up, he’d sound like an ass to even mention her ex’s name. He should just stay quiet.

“I’ll see you later?” she said, gesturing at her stylist who was waiting by the door.

Harry could ask her right now -- the reason she’d agreed to film the sequel to their first movie together. He’d heard from a very reliable source that she’d specifically asked her agent to decline any project that he was in. So did this mean they were good? That she didn’t hate him anymore? He could have gathered his courage and got the answer right then…

“Yeah, see you.”

...but he didn’t.

And so she gave him a smile and a little wave, then happily returned to her stylist.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N!”

“See you, Annie!” Y/N said as she put the rest of her things into her tote bag. Her new driver had got her schedule mixed up, and so she had to wait here for another half an hour. She was in no rush. It had been a light first day, and she’d had a fun time getting to know the new cast members and catching up with old friends.

She sat on the sofa in the lobby, legs crossed, texting her best friend about her day. She’d purposely left out the short off-screen conversation with Harry, and her best friend didn’t even bother to ask. In their world, he didn’t exist, and his name was censored in every conversation like a curse word that was even worse than ‘cunt’. Nevertheless, she didn’t hate him anymore. She was doing just fine on her own, being busy with her career, and she’d been in a happy relationship after her fall out with him.

She and the guy, a model, had broken up two weeks ago due to long distance and some differences that they could not change. They had ended on good terms and decided to stay friends. They said you could only stay friends with your ex when you still had feelings for each other, or you had never loved each other that much in the first place. For her, it was probably the latter. Her previous relationship had been more platonic than romantic, apparently. So she had nothing but the best to say about him.

As she was going through her camera roll, just reminiscing about the past, she heard footsteps approaching and looked up to find Harry. He offered a smile and gestured to the spot beside her on the sofa. “May I sit here? My ride is late.”

“Yeah, sure.” She hurriedly scooted over.

“Good job today,” he said. “You were great.”

“Thanks, so were you.” She smiled, and they both looked away at the same time. This was so awkward. She hated small talk. She’d never had to have small talk with Harry. Conversations with him used to be so easy and natural and silly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t them.

“Can we just be normal?”

At first, Y/N thought she’d been the one who’d said it, so when she realised it’d been Harry, she was speechless.

He swallowed and sat a bit straighter, still not looking at her. “I don’t want us to be weird and awkward.”

“Okay,” she said.

He cleared his throat. “Wanna try again?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, not to sound like an ass but when Joey kept forgetting his lines, I was so pissed off, I could throw a chair at the wall.”

“Right?!” exclaimed Y/N, feeling free to have finally broken out of her shell. “Like, he doesn’t even have many lines. I know he’s new but damn...you can’t get far if you don’t learn your goddamn lines.”

Harry shook with laughter. “Oh God, we sound like dicks, don’t we?”

“Maybe.” Y/N laughed, covering her mouth. “But you know what? We can’t be nice in this industry. It’s impossible.”

“Shhh, if someone heard this, we would be into big trouble.”

“Oh please, I’ve had worse articles written about me than ‘Y/N speaks facts about her lazy co-star’.”

Harry tossed his head back and cackled. “The worst one I’ve got this week was ‘Harry Styles hates therapists.’”

“What?!” Y/N gasped. “No way! That’s so stupid!”

“Right?” Harry rolled his eyes. “I could get all my therapists to speak up for me but I’m kinda immune to bullshit now.”

“Therapists? Like plural?”

“Yeah, one in every city.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.”

Y/N rubbed her hands onto her legs. “Rough year?”

Harry’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned back. “You have no idea.” Then he swept his hair out of his eyes, sucked in a breath, and finally looked at her. “I wish I could have talked to you, though.”

She bit her tongue, knowing what she was about to say next would disappoint her best friend so much, but she had to. “So do I.”

Harry looked taken aback before his lips curled into a smile. “It’s silly, isn’t it? I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I feel like I know everything that’s happened to you except that I don’t.”

What he’d just said might make no sense for most people, but Y/N knew exactly what he meant. She nodded and wetted her lip. “You only know as much as everyone else does.”

“Yeah, I got updates on you from the news and our friends.”

“Same.” Y/N smiled back. “I hate how they write articles about your new haircut but not mine.”

“I like your new hair colour.”

“Thanks. I like your new car.”

Then they both burst out laughing. It was fun and also a little bit strange that Y/N didn’t feel the same anxiety talking to him as she used to. It must be because they had grown and were now meeting again as better people.

“Damn, my ride's here,” Y/N said as she read the text from her driver. “I gotta go now.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry stood up and followed Y/N to the entrance. “Hey, just wondering--”

“Yeah?”

“Am I...am I still blocked?” He looked a bit flustered as she tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “On your phone. Because I remember you having my number blocked--”

“I unblocked you on your birthday.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” Y/N shrugged. “I should’ve sent you a happy birthday text but...I didn’t want your girlfriend to get the wrong ideas.”

“My ex.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They smiled at each other one last time before saying goodbye. Y/N knew it was silly, but she was hoping he would go after her.

Ding.

A notification popped up when she was in the car. She was almost home, and it was from Harry’s number. He’d sent her a link with a message that said, “Hope you like it :)”.

Curious, she tapped on it and was directed to an audio file titled ‘Track 5’. The upload date was last year. About two weeks after their short conversation at the Grammys.

Hurriedly, she fumbled inside her bag for her iPods and put it on before she pressed play.

“Hey, Jeff, I couldn’t sleep so I wrote this song. Listen and let me know if it should go on the album.”

Then came the piano intro. It sounded good, so Y/N wondered how it hadn’t ended up on his last album.

But when he started to sing...

We ended a while ago Your friends are mine, you know, I know You've moved on, found someone new One more guy who brings out the better in you

And I thought my heart was detached From all the sunlight of our past But he’s so nice, he’s so funny Does he mean you forgot about me?

Oh, I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

And does he tell you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen? An eternal love bullshit he might not even mean Remember when you were with me I meant it when you heard it first from me

And now I'm pickin' him apart Like cuttin' him down will make you miss my wretched heart But he’s charming, he looks kind He probably gives you butterflies

I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy I wish you all the best, really Say you love him, baby Just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on him I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

The song was for her. He’d written it when her new relationship had gone public. Y/N sat there, staring blankly ahead until the honking of a car tore open her inner peace, and reality came crashing back in. The driver dropped her off at her house. Instead of going inside, she stood on her front steps and replayed the song one more time. When it ended, she decided to text him: Why didn’t this make it to the album?

She didn’t know where he was now, but it showed ‘typing’ in less than a second, as if he’d been waiting in their chat since he’d sent that link.

You would’ve hated me, Y/N.

True, she replied. Still, I would’ve loved the song lowkey. And added, I love it btw.

He took so long to type that it was driving her crazy. She flopped down on the concrete stair with her phone clutched in her hands, her heart thundering against her ribcage. Anxiety popped like a balloon when his message appeared: Were you happier?

She reread it again and again.

No.

I wasn’t either, he responded. I kept getting deja vu.

Ha, nice reference.

That song is my guilty pleasure. Love listening to you roasting me on loop.

That last message made Y/N bury her face into her palm and giggle like a fool. She thought for a second and wrote: I could come roast you in person now if that’s what you prefer. I think we’ve never had a proper roasting.

Can we meet, Y/N? Or are you busy now?

No, not busy.

Great, I’ll pick you up.

Just tell me where, she responded with a smile on her face. I got my drivers license now :)

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic

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tennessoui · 3 years ago

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oh my god literally every single prompt on that list is gold and i'd love to see your obikin take for all of them. hmmm... if i had to choose i guess first 13. co-stars au?? thank you lots of love !!!

ah bless!! thank you so much!! i'm slowly working my way through most of the prompts on that list so you might see many many more before I'm done with my ask box. I think after two more, I'll put em on ao3 to keep em more organized too. this has been soooo fun!!

13. Co-Stars AU(/7. Fake Relationship AU)(2.5 k)

“No.”

“Ani, darling, you can’t say no.”

“Don’t call me that. And secondly, I can. I just did. This is my personal life, the company has no control over that.”

“While you’re filming its movie and it’s giving you money, you’ll actually find that it does, Anakin.”

Anakin sits down heavily on the bench outside his trailer, leaning forward until he can put his head in his hands. He wants to run his fingers through the mess on his head, but they’re in between takes right now and the make-up department will definitely kill him if they have to fix him up again.

“Asajj, please. You know how hard it was to get to come out as bisexual. If the first person I date after that is a woman, no one will remember! It’ll just be completely erased, and I’ll be Anakin Skywalker, Playboy Actor again.”

“But you do like women,” Asajj points out. “So either way, you’d be confirming your sexuality.”

Anakin sighs and leans his head back against the metal of the trailer. “And it would be different if I was actually in love with Padme, but she’s just my co-star and--”

“Anakin, she’s your co-star. You’re in a blockbuster movie where you dramatically save her life and then kiss her as the credits roll. This is just business. You like her. You’re friends. Think of it less like dating, and more like going to grab lunch together. And coffee. Maybe a fancy dinner. Several times a week.”

“For how long?” Anakin asks, resigned and despairing and hating the fact that he ever got into acting.

Asajj sounds relieved. “Just until the movie’s out and sales are doing well.”

That could be months. That would be months. “And I have to?” he asks.

“Yes,” she says. “I’m sorry.”

Anakin doesn’t say it’s fine. It doesn’t feel like it is fine.

“They’re not looking for anything to be confirmed. If asked about your relationship with Padme, tell them you think she’s a great woman and you’re enjoying spending time with her. No comment on any sort of serious relationship.”

“Because a break-up afterwards might hurt the chances for a sequel?” Anakin asks drily.

“Exactly! We’ll get you a head for the business yet, Anakin. Okay, I have to go, but I’ll send you the information now, just so you know what you’ll be expected to do. We’re thinking a dinner tomorrow to start things off strong, and then slow afterwards!”

She hangs up before he can say anything else and he slumps back boneless against the metal trailer. God.

It’s not that he doesn’t like Padme. Ventress is right. They were friends before this project and Anakin knows they’ll be friends after as well. They genuinely get along, and it’s probably one of the reasons Anakin was cast in such a big name production: the chemistry between them when they’re acting is undeniable. She’s one of his favorite people in the entire industry.

“Anakin?” One of his other favorite people in the entire industry asks hesitantly from in front of him. “Are you alright?”

“No,” he says.

“May I sit?”

“Yeah,” he says.

Like he’d ever turn Obi-Wan Kenobi away.

“Are you wearing your costume?” he asks, without opening his eyes. Obi-Wan’s playing the villain of the movie, and Anakin has a hard time focusing on anything else when Obi-Wan’s around him wearing that skin-tight white turtleneck and cape combination, with his hair slicked back and fake glasses perched on his nose.

Obi-Wan sounds amused. “No, I’m finished for the day. Heading home now. You don’t have to see how silly I look today.”

Anakin smiles slightly, despite everything. In one of his better acting moments, he’d told Obi-Wan that his costume was distracting because it looked so funny on him. Really, it was just hot.

(Of course, Obi-Wan had taken his criticism seriously and gone to the director and the costume department. They had decided that it would make Obi-Wan’s character more threatening if he pushed up his sleeves in almost every scene to reveal heavily tattooed forearms. Anakin had hated himself and his big stupid mouth for days afterwards.)

“Is...there anything I can do to help, Anakin? I hate to see you like this,” Obi-Wan places a hand gently on Anakin’s knee, and Anakin has to fight a shiver at the touch.

They’d met at the script-reading for the movie, a handful of months ago. Anakin had set two clocks in his head the moment their hands grasped each other and Obi-Wan smiled charmingly up at him. “So you’re the one to kill me?” He’d winked. “Tall order.”

One clock signified the weeks it would take for him to fall in love with the older man. The starting number was pitifully small, but Anakin had been watching Obi-Wan’s movies and interviews for years before meeting him. He’d known something about the man, which of course had paled in comparison to knowing the man himself. They’d spent two weeks choreographing the steps of the final fight scene, just the two of them in a repurposed ballet studio.

Looking back, Anakin isn’t sure how he’d survived. And he had never wanted it to end.

Which is the other clock, still ticking down in his head. The moment filming ends, and they go their separate ways. They’ll probably keep in touch, but Anakin won’t see him constantly, won’t be able to lean into the weight of Obi-Wan’s hand on his shoulder, his knee, sometimes even on his cheek when he leans down in between takes to tell him how good of a job he’s done.

“Anakin?”

“Sorry,” Anakin snaps to the present. “Sorry. I was in my head. I. I don’t think so, no.”

“Oh,” Obi-Wan says, tensing his hand as if he’s planning to remove it, which Anakin wouldn’t appreciate in the slightest.

“My agent says that the executives want me to date Padme. To drum up hype for the movie. Because I guess people will think it must be good if the co-stars start fucking each other?” He runs a hand across his face. “Um. Sorry, excuse my language.”

“Anakin, I’m forty-one, I think I’ve heard someone say fuck before,” Obi-Wan sounds amused again.

“Yeah, I just. Don’t want to? I guess maybe--I mean you probably didn’t see, but I came out as bisexual a year ago, and I haven’t dated anyone since, and I just know the way the rags will write about me and Padme if we’re seen together. And it’ll be like I just. Never came out.”

Obi-Wan makes a sympathetic noise but doesn’t interrupt. It’s one of the reasons Anakin loves talking to him.

“And my agent just sent me this contract, or I don’t know, list of things I have to do because there’s no way for me to get out of this and it just makes me feel trapped. But they don’t even want me to confirm if we're dating or not dating, they just want to create rumors about it, but it’s my life. I want to do what I want to do with my life, date who I want to date.”

“Do you...have anyone you want to date?” Obi-Wan asks, hand stilling from where he’s been casually rubbing circles on Anakin’s knee.

“No,” Anakin says too quickly and then grimaces. Does he really get paid for acting? He’s always so terrible at lying.

Obi-Wan hums. “I could...take a look at whatever papers your agent sent you?” He suggests. “I’m obviously not really an expert, but I have been in the business a fair bit longer than you.”

“You’re not that old,” Anakin responds by rote, but hesitates, curious despite himself. “You wouldn’t mind?”

“I’ve nothing planned tonight except to have a glass of wine and pet my cat, Anakin. It would be a pleasure to help you any way I could.”

“Okay,” Anakin says, reaching out to lay his hand gently on top of Obi-Wan’s. He’s never done that before, never responded so openly to Obi-Wan’s touches. It’s an amazing thrill.

Obi-Wan flips his hand around until they’re holding hands, basically. In the middle of a public area. God, Anakin’s letting his crush get the best of him when Obi-Wan isn’t even gay. “Thank you,” he says, standing up and pulling away from the older man. It’s the right thing to do. The last thing he wants is for Obi-Wan to think he’s...predatory.

A harried looking crew member spots him as he stands and gestures to him to get back to the set. He smiles ruefully at Obi-Wan who gives him an unreadable expression but also a soft goodbye.

Later, in between takes, he forwards Obi-Wan the emails Asajj sent him, both the papers and the message at the top that says “dress nice for tomorrow at Delfino’s!” followed by a little smiley face he can’t believe she’d ever mean.

He knows nothing’s going to come of it, but. But he has to try.

----

Padme’s dressed to the nines in front of him. He’d compliment her outfit, but he’s already complimented her hair and her make-up, and he thinks she’ll scream if he continues to act as stilted as he’s being now.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs quietly after the waiter leaves with their drink orders. “I know I’m being--awkward. I just.”

They’re seated in the middle of the restaurant, and Anakin knows there’s two paps already outside, taking pictures through the windows. The rest will have arrived by the time they pay the bill and leave. It’s a circus and he’s the main event.

“I understand,” Padme responds, the angel that she is. “I don’t particularly want to be doing this either.”

Anakin presses his hand to his chest, jokingly wounded. “What are you trying to say, Padme, my beloved, my dearest?”

She laughs and he does too, but in the back of his head he can hear the sound of a camera’s shutter clicking. Everything feels fake, and he feels like he’s about to crawl out of his skin.

A hand lands on his shoulder with startling familiarity and for a second he thinks it’s a very brave member of the wait-staff, before Obi-Wan Kenobi is swinging into his field of vision, pulling up a chair from god knows where and sitting right in between Anakin and Padme, never once removing his hand from Anakin’s jacket.

“Sir--” someone says in distress, “This is a two-person table.”

Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow and looks down at the table. “Well it certainly can fit three, so I would go as far as to say that tonight it can be a three-person table. Anakin, what did you order to drink?”

“The house white,” Padme supplies when Anakin makes no move to respond, instead choosing to gape at Obi-Wan like a fish out of water.

“Excellent choice, darling,” Obi-Wan says, rubbing at his upper arm absent-mindedly. “I’ve never been here, tell me. Do you serve a good seafood dish?”

The waiter stammers. “We have an acclaimed oyster platter, sir--”

“Oysters?” Obi-Wan smiles at the man, all teeth. “The aphrodisiac? What are you trying to get these kids in the mood for?”

Anakin blushes. “Obi-Wan!” He hisses, aghast. Obi-Wan’s eyes cut to him for a second before he smirks back at the waiter.

“I’ll take the oysters for the main course,” he says dismissively.

Somehow it’s that sentence that tips Anakin off, more than anything else he’s done tonight. Obi-Wan spends hours talking to the people that run the crafts table. He would never be so cold or rude naturally. He’s...playing a character, one that Anakin recognizes as being the villain from their movie (although without all the blood and murder).

Anakin only recedes into personas when he’s nervous about something. Can the same be said for Obi-Wan?

Padme, at least, looks amused. “Hello, Obi-Wan,” she says. “I see you’ve decided to crash our very romantic date.”

“Well that’s interesting, isn’t it?” Obi-Wan replies, turning to face her but keeping his hand on Anakin, although it slides down to rest on the crook of his arm. “I had Anakin send me the paperwork, mild curiosity, you know how it is, and I realized the strangest thing while I was reading over it.”

“Oh?” Padme asks.

“It never states which co-star Anakin should be seen with, just that he must be seen with a leading actor. And I don’t want to focus on the numbers here, of course, but in the rough-cut of the movie, I have thirty-four minutes of screentime. And you, my dear, have thirty-two and fifteen seconds.”

“Tragic,” Padme says, taking a sip of her water. "You may be considered more of a leading actor than I am."

“Certainly,” Obi-Wan gives her a friendly smile. Anakin is still stuck on the fact that Obi-Wan is here, that he read the paperwork, that he’s arguing semantics for the purpose of--of--

“And I suppose you’re here to offer yourself as a replacement?” Padme asks, leaning her head on her hand as she watches the two of them.

“Only if Anakin wouldn’t mind,” Obi-Wan says, turning to face him.

Anakin isn’t sure what he’s thinking right now. “But you’re not interested in men.”

“I am,” Obi-Wan says.

“But...you’re not interested in me.”

“I am,” Obi-Wan says.

“You are?”

“Excuse me,” Padme says. “I’m going to go to the restroom.”

“We’ll wait to order until you come back,” Obi-Wan reassures her, without taking his eyes off of Anakin.

Anakin bites his lip and hesitantly brings his hand up to sit palm up on the table. Obi-Wan doesn’t hesitate to intertwine their fingers again, like they had been just yesterday.

“I’m a very private person, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says quietly, all traces of any sort of persona dropped from his voice. “I’ve never come out, never wanted to. But I was so proud that you had when you did. And I--well. I suppose. You already get to fake-kiss Padme on screen, I thought that perhaps you’d like to try to fake-kiss someone else for a change.”

Anakin ducks his head and gathers his courage. He can’t not ask. A fake relationship with Padme would be awful, but one with Obi-Wan? That would be torture. Cruel and unusual punishment. He’s still reeling from the information that apparently Obi-Wan does like men and apparently he likes Anakin enough to come out for him.

But does he like Anakin enough to touch him and mean it? He has to know. He looks up at Obi-Wan’s earnest face from beneath his eyelashes. “What if I want to real-kiss you?”

Obi-Wan blinks, and a smile breaks out across his face. “Then you don’t even need to have to ask, darling. Kiss me all you want, if you’re okay with a clingy old man in your bed.”

“Not that old,” Anakin argues, smiling so hard he’s afraid his face will crack in two. “But I don’t want to kiss you tonight.”

Obi-Wan turns solemn, although his grip on Anakin remains tight. “We can go as slow as you’re comfortable with.”

“Oh, you can have me later,” Anakin says, waving his free hand in the air. “I just don’t want our first kiss to be for the cameras.”

Obi-Wan catches Anakin’s palm and brings it up to kiss lightly. “You’re right, Anakin. That should just be for you and me.”

The rough brush of his lips over his skin causes Anakin to shiver. He’s never felt so on edge, as if his body is a live-wire. “Good thing you ordered the oysters,” he mumbles, blushing bright red as Obi-Wan laughs loud enough to fill the whole restaurant with its sound.

#asks #my fics #obikin #the next prompt is gonna be wayyyy more angsty so enjoy the fluff rn is all im saying #prompt fill

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professorchaos · 3 years ago

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For the ask game, Butters!!

Why I like them

most well developed kid aside from eric, SO fun to piece together continuity for, hilarious and adorable and comes with a hell of a lot of emotional weight. easy to project onto. very misunderstood (something which in this case rather baffles me, but only ever serves to make me love a character all the more)

Why I don’t

can be very ignorant, and parrots bigotry in a way which can be excruciatingly embarrassing to watch and doesn't always quite hit the mark with humour.

Favorite episode (scene if movie)

pretty much every butters episode is amazing like honestly... i don't know. they're all so good! butters' very own episode is classic though

Favorite season/movie

i really love her in the seasons before her official debut as a main cast member (4 and 5). but everything until season 12 is my favourite! i also really really liked his role in the black friday trilogy. paladin butters is so so funny lol... but tbh there isn't a season i don't like butters in :D

Favorite line

torn between "i don't think i'm very happy. every night i fall asleep to the sound of my own screams, and then i always get woken up in the morning to the sound of my own screams. do you think i'm unhappy?" and "if i'm bicurious, and i'm made from god, then i think god must be a little bicurious himself!"

Favorite outfit

professor chaos you are so everything you don't even know. you are so everything

OTP

bunny is the only ship i actually really do ship romantically but it'd be like a 15-20 year long angsty slowburn <3 aside from that i like a lot of other ships with butters though! he was very cute with charlotte...

Brotp

main 5 always, especially with eric and kenny but also very intensely with stan and kyle respectively. DOUGIE (i see dougie as kinda like butters' little brother). bradley from cartman sucks. jimmy and token. craig... tweek... bahir... hell you know i just think butters should (and does) have lots of friends (: !!

Head Canon

hehe the very obvious ones that i think i make clear all the time are that butters is autistic and has ADD, and that they are transgender (specifically, something like bigender or genderfluid). i think that their identity would change a lot throughout their life, but they would always try to live authentically and with conviction... i also think they are that kid who really likes stickers and crafting (glitter gel pens and stuff EVERYWHERE), and do better in hot weather than cold (due to living the first few years of their life in hawaii and semi-regular trips out to california).

Unpopular opinion

it's kind of unpopular in itself to have butters as a favourite character but maybe even more so to love him for the repressed weird twisted little kid that he is, so... i guess my unpopular opinion is that i think you can be both angry and kind. the black and white discourse of "soft butters" vs like "bad boy butters" is very silly. you can want both a motorcycle AND a tamagotchi, guys!

A wish

please get a cute legendary card in phone destroyer and please let there be a lot more butters content in the future. no matt and trey it WASN'T enough get back in there and make that tfbw villain sequel

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

eh... i dunno. i can think of a lot of things but... that's just general south park stuff lol. don't become worse than you are as a show bc i wanna keep watching

5 words to best describe them

someone call child protective services

My nickname for them

ahh i like the leo thing you know... leopold / leo has a lot of meanings that i think he could find some symbolism in when he's older (:

#ask games #thanks for asking! this one is always difficult heh

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 4 years ago

Note

I feel bad for JK. He's the jealous BF in every pairing. I say support who you want, but if JM came out tomorrow and said come out of your imagination about Vmin (The way V did about TK) or V went on camera saying his and JM's relationship was awkward (The way JK did about V), I would pack it up. Yet Tkrs continue to disrespect Tae and JK. Sometimes JKrs too cause they also cast JK as the jealous, insecure boyfriend. Too bad, neither group sees One half of their ships are in love with each other

This turned into a bit of a rant, I hope you don’t mind...

Leaving aside my opinions on T*ak*ok and J*k*ok as “romantic ships” and focusing just on the actual people, or more specifically on Jungkook (as well as those who use him for their ships in toxic manners), I very much agree.

Jungkook is a good person, a kindhearted one at that, he works incredibly hard, he’s incredibly hard on himself, holds himself to a sky high standard, and is a perfectionist at that, he tries his best regardless of what it is he’s doing, his heart is so big, pure and filled with love not only for his hyungs but also for ARMY, even though some have done him incredibly dirty in the past, and others continue to do so to this day and chances are they likely won’t stop any time soon. Jungkook is also a romantic, someone who believes he will hear bells when he’ll meet/look at the person he’s destined to be with/his one true love, someone who wrote Still With You for ARMY and tried his best to convey his emotions just right, who even has the word tattooed on his hand, is someone who’s sensitive to smells, likes doing laundry and snuggles against his hyungs when he’s cold. He cried and was inconsolable when Hobi temporarily left Bangtan, recorded a song cover in 30 minutes simply because Namjoon said the song would fit his voice, and he painted a pretty painting for Hobi simply because he asked him for it.

Remember when Jungkook was a guest on Yoongi’s ‘radio’ in May 2020? How nervous he was and how he felt the need to explain himself and apologize to ARMY for potentially having upset us, even though, realistically, there was nothing really there for what he would have to apologize and with how some were quick to throw him under the bus (again), if anyone should’ve apologized, it would’ve been those people. To this day Jungkook continues to rarely be on social media, rarely posts a selca and goes on vlive even less, and honestly, I completely understand him. I would do the same, though I won’t pretend that I know his exact reasoning.

Like you said, there is a large portion of shippers (not all of them, of course, but I’m specifically talking about the bad ones here, and my opinions on these shippers have no connection whatsoever with my opinions on and love for the maknaes and their bonds, just so we’re clear) who have created this alternative reality version of him which shares no resemblance with who he actually is beyond the name and body. Somehow, they’ve created this jealous, possessive and toxic version of him that constantly feels the need to mark his territory, gets angry and has controlling tendencies toward either Jimin or Tae (oddly enough I haven’t seen that happen as much when he’s shipped with a member of the hyung line), depending on which camp you ask. How long did it take for “JK was so jealous” analysis videos to appear after RUN episode 128 and that moment of Tae kissing Seokjin’s cheek? An hour, two?

And if that’s not what they are doing, they overs*xualize him to the point where it just feels gross and so dehumanizing it crosses every imaginable line. Or they infantilize him as though he were still the teenage boy we got to know when they debuted 7.5 years ago, which is especially ironic and weird when the people who do this are younger than him.

Of course this isn’t just an issue with Jungkook, it’s something that happens with all three of the maknaes, but I feel like it happens a little differently (or manifests itself differently) for each one of them, and Jungkook, being involved in both of the main big ships, basically has it worst. He isn’t treated as someone they love or admire, not because he’s part of their ship but because of his talents and other qualities as idol and human being, but as basically a human Sim that shippers project their own fantasies onto. They lack respect and the bare minimum of human decency. They don’t care about him as person, barely care about his music if they can’t find a way to connect it to their ship, they just want him to look pretty and act accordingly so they can continue living their shipper lives and search for “proof”, even if sometimes that means twisting reality, ignoring context, and making someone out of Jungkook who he really is not.

And honestly, just like you, if Tae or Jimin would come online and say “get out of your imagination” about vmin, I would accept that immediately and move on. Sure, I’d be a little sad and surprised, but I wouldn’t look for ways to twist their words to create some kind of false deniability of their statement, wouldn’t try to find some kind of loophole that would allow me to ignore their words and continue doing what we do. But, unfortunately, many don’t think that way. Clearly.

At some point, I think, some have forgotten why we are here in the first place, as well as the fact that Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung are actual living, breathing human beings, and not fictional characters. We are here, first and foremost, for their music, since that’s what got us interested in them in the first place, right? Or at least that’s how it should be, though I know visual stans are a thing, and apparently shipping stans also seem to be a thing that exists. And sure, shipping is fun, having a pair you particularly like together for one reason or another, because you think there might actually be something there, like we do as vminnies, or because you simply like their dynamic, but the moment your entire existence as ARMY is merely revolving around your ship and finding ways to prove, against all logic and contextual evidence, that they are real, even if it means disrespecting the people that are part of your ship, as well as the other five people in the group they love more than anyone, that’s when you’ve gone too far. Way too far.

We know how much Jungkook loves the members, how much he respects them, and we know he had a bit of an awkward rough patch (at least partially) with Tae, since they told us about that, and he enjoys spending time and being silly with Jimin, and yet ship camp one and two have no issue disrespecting, belittling, badmouthing and erasing his friendships with either of them, or basically flat out calling him a liar (or a BH controlled puppet with no free will or ability to speak out when he doesn’t like something) because what he said about his friendship with Tae doesn’t fit their agenda.

Jungkook is basically stripped of all agency, humanity, free will, and everything else that makes him a person, an idol, and just an extremely talented and kind individual. They even try to take away his name despite the well-known fact that Koreans don’t change last names. It’s upsetting, unsettling, and wrong on every possible level.

I couldn’t care less which BTS duo others ship, I’m not the kind of person who will go and try to convince others that I’m right and they are wrong because, for all we know, we could all be wrong, but I think the least anyone in the shipping world can do is have enough restraint and humanity in them to show a bare minimum of respect for the people they ship and treat them like human beings, not Sims or dolls. Especially since we know the members are aware of all of this to some degree because there is no way they didn’t notice all the comments during vlives across the years, didn’t notice the videos on YouTube (we know Jungkook looks up reaction videos etc), and didn’t notice the posts on Weverse, after all we had Tae tell off a shipper.

All I really wish for is for people to see and treat Jungkook as the good, kind, intelligent and talented person he is. Ship him with whoever you want, that’s none of my business, but please respect him and see him for who he is, not who you’d want him to be so there would be more drama to theorize about. It’s the least he deserves. It’s the least all of them do.

#answered ask #answered ask by admin 1 #Jungkook #BTS

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lizacstuff · 4 years ago

Text

SCK Asks: Episode 38

(asks under the cut)

Anonymous said: happy edser just HITS different. maybe it's because we've been so deprived of them together and blissful, it's such a joy to watch. i had a silly grin on my face during all their scenes. sure the tumor cloud is looming over our heads, but this episode only laid the foundation for that and then went into romcom mode, which i really appreciated because we've been bogged down for SO LONG with heaviness, it was nice to just take a breather.

OMG! Yes, all of this. And I’m not sure if it’s happy Edser that hits different, or if it was whatever magic and sparkle these writers injected into this episode that made it hit different.

The magic was BACK. The sparkle was BACK. These writers took the most ridiculous scenario idea (these two famous architects deciding to solve a murder) and just made it sing. I grinned through the whole thing and laughed out loud, A LOT.

This was the first episode in ages where I wasn’t watching the clock and waiting for some uncomfortable or unpleasant moment or scene to occur. Instead watching was pure joy and no anxiety, even with a tumor diagnosis.

There was so much good Edser in this episode it’s hard to know what to talk about. I loved every moment they were on screen together.

Anonymous said: I have to hand it to you, you said that the reason they were doing this pregnancy story is so that we could find out that Selin and Serkan never slept together. ngl I wanted her to suffer more, but as long as she’s gone I’m fine with her punishment being the humiliation of having to admit that in front of Eda.

Ha! Yes, I have said that all along, and I’ve never been more relieved to be right. They really went the extra mile with having Selin spell out that it hadn’t happened. With the English subs it almost sounded like they had never, ever had sex, even before. If so, I could actually believe it, their prior relationship seemed to be very business like, like they were each other’s safe, convenient date to business and family functions, and it wasn’t emotional or physical for him.

After the gross story around Selin, and how much damage she did and how much she got away with, this was not nearly enough comeuppance to sate my thirst for her pain. These writers started this story and introduced Selin’s role in it, so it’s not like they 100% inherited something they had nothing to do with. However, between Bige’s limited availability due to her father passing, Sarp Can having covid, and the way the other writers drug it into the ground, I’m also just happy it’s over and will deal with this being all we get, plus, while she didn’t get punished adequately, she did take her lumps. It’s humiliating that Serkan went around acting incredulous to everyone who would listen that she could be pregnant because he never touched her, even while she was his fiancé. I mean that’s a shrinker. Can you imagine agreeing to marry a man who you knew didn’t want to touch you? Everyone now knows her sad, pathetic desperation to have him under any circumstances. Yikes.

And as you say, she then had to stand in front of Eda and Serkan and admit he didn’t touch her. Admit that Serkan never wanted her, and it’s humiliating that everyone at Art Life knows what she did and thinks she’s a monster. Serkan finally knows she’s an awful manipulator who tried to trick him, and in the end she gets an unplanned pregnancy with a man who doesn’t love her and whom she doesn’t love. So it’s not like she’s winning by any stretch of the imagination.

(Though I really wish everyone knew (mostly Serkan and Eda) that she sabotaged Eda’s presentation. It’s important for the characters to know that she can’t be trusted professionally as well as personally... but oh well.)

Anonymous said: Two things: 1) I kinda love it even more that they got the tattoos before he found about the illness.. idk why but it was even MORE romantic. Also does this mean they're kinda sorta engaged again since the reason she said no in the first place was Selin? and 2) I need more of that "ring for love" bell ASAP. My jaw actually dropped when he lifted her up since we were deprived of it in 26.. please more breaking of family structures!!

Oh I agree, I found it very romantic they went and got the tattoos and the only impetus was their desire to have a symbol of their love. I already love those tattoos so much, and I love that they sat their designing them together. They really do signify the ultimate commitment.

I’m not sure if they’re engaged or not. Maybe they’re in a place where it’s obvious they’re going to get married, they both know they’re going to get married, but we’re still going to get one more proposal to make it official?

As for the ring for love bell, when and where did he get that!? Hee. And yes to more breaking of the Turkish family structure. That lift and twirl through the living room was... HOT. And it was just so effortless, there are just no words at times for how good Hande and Kerem are, I’ve really never seen anything like it. They don’t really have time to rehearse on set, or limitless takes or the time to really block and perfect things, but they’re just so good together they make magic happen every time they’re on screen. Amazing. Enjoy this kids, because you probably won’t see anything like it again.

Anonymous said: With the nature of these shows, Eda and Serkan will not a blissful happily ever after without something hanging over there heads or some new drama until the show actually ends. So if the new angst is Serkan's potential illness, I'm down for the potential angst it'll create.. it's already a good sign that, although he hasn't told her about it yet, he's not pushing her away in fear, but instead the opposite. I also don't think, and really hope not, him keeping it secret rn won't cause trouble.

Yes, I like that even with that heavy health news hanging over the episode, it was still light and funny and romantic and had that old sparkle. That tells me that they’re going to strike the right tone with this story which seems to be a very carpe diem thing with Serkan.

It didn’t bother me that he didn’t tell her. First, he told the doctor that he didn’t want anyone to know until he had a diagnosis. That makes sense, why worry her, or any of them, before they know. I’m sure I would feel different if he was pushing her away because of the diagnosis, but since he’s holding her close and just seems to want to spend time with her, without that heaviness hanging over her head, I’m okay with it.

Also, as seen in the new fragman, if this story is an excuse to get them out of the office and put them in all sorts of scenarios together it would otherwise be hard to justify, bring it on. Let’s see how far down the list of things to do they can get!

Anonymous said: i know no one reaaaally cares because they're not most people's favorite side characters, but it's really much nicer to watch aydan and ayfer scenes now that they're both on "team edser" and have become really good friends. i swear, the AAA trio scenes were so unbearable to watch when they were fighting over him and i was fast forwarding through all of them.. at least i can sit through team "united" aydan/ayfer scenes.

They’re actually enjoyable scenes now! I love that they’ve become actual true friends, best friends really, and along with Seyfi I love their little trio. Love that Seyfi and Ayfer were being so supportive about Aydan rekindling something with Kemal. And I agree that we can root for them when they’re working for Edser’s well-being and happiness. I just hope Aydan doesn’t do something stupid if there begins to be some question about Serkan’s parentage.

Anonymous said: the scooby doo gang ending had me laughing so hard i was tearing up when more and more people kept sneaking in and eda and serkan were getting more and more exasperated. erdem accidentally using flash took me tf out lmao. i love when sck does comedy with the whole cast and not just the usual "comedy" characters.. they're some of my favorite scenes! both "asking for the girl" scenes come to mind.

You could see Erdem using the flash coming from a mile away, but that still didn’t blunt the comedy when he actually did it. So funny. Also Engin not recognizing Eda, imagine him thinking Serkan is there with some rando woman. I also love the full cast comedy scenes, they are so much fun and really should be utilized as often as possible.

The scene where Edser walk back into the house and Aydan and Kemal were there paying their respects had me screech-laughing! So so so funny. Both sides being incredulous that the other was there and wanting answers! I also enjoyed that Serkan obviously put Erdem in charge of Kemal’s project, because he wants that project to go away. Unfortunately for Serkan, I think it’s going to take more than Erdem to drive Kemal away.

Anonymous said: Everyone is saying serkan planned the whole thing, do you buy into that? Idk would he really put everyone in a gunpoint situation where they don’t know it’s fake? Cause that’s some potentially trauma inducing stuff. Also I have no idea where they’re going with this, since it’s been a 4 day break from set which is kind of worrying. And do you know why Melisa wasn’t in the ep? I know Sarp can got Covid but wasn’t Melisa posting with cast members on her story throughout the week?

Wow, this is a lot of negative energy and fretting after a really good episode. Deep breath. Since you sent this, we know that Hande and Kerem have been shooting for 2 full days at a romantic looking beach location for 39, so it looks like Edser has some sort of mini-getaway. I don’t see any reason to be concerned about the 4 day break last week. (now the fragman’s out, hopefully that puts your mind at ease)

No idea why Melissa wasn’t in the ep, other than the way the ep was structured with the supporting characters, if she had to miss the ArtLife shooting day then I can see that they would have had to write her out of the full episode, because most of their scenes were there and it set up everything for the rest of the episode. So perhaps she was in quarantine for a Covid exposure, maybe she was legit sick/injured (she has had a foot thing) or maybe she had a conflict for that one shooting day. No idea, but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. Also her absence gave us Ferit/Melo scenes and I’m 100% behind that, give us more of those!

As far as if Serkan planned the whole thing, he did look pretty smug and relaxed while sitting there at the end, but he also wasn’t planning for the whole group to tag along and make a mess, lmao. We’ll have to see.

Anonymous said: Do you think bad ratings makes sck in danger of being cancelled or do you think high social media engagement keeps it safe?

Friends, I don’t know anything about the Turkish system, but it seems to me that SCK will either go through May or extend into summer and end then, regardless of the ratings. We shall see. As I’ve said before I’m not going to engage in the fretting and worrying and discussion on this topic because no fan really knows what they’re talking about and there is nothing we can do to change what will happen. So just enjoy the show while we can, the news on when it will end will come when it comes.

#Sen Çal Kapımı #Sen Cal kapimi #edser #sck episode discussion #sckask #sck 1x38 #asklizac #anonymous

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chisatowo · 3 years ago

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One last post before I go to bed, I'm gonna let myself indulge in the comfort media™ and let myself share some things I love abt every main bandori character :]

Kasumi: goddddd starting off with one of the big ones..... She's just so. Yeah. Y'know I remember seeing someone say that she was very easy to read as a character with depression, and tbh I didn't believe them at the time, but after reading through more bandori stories and poppin'party song lyrics, I soooo get it now. Tbh, she might be one of the bandori characters I can relate to the most, and I find a LOT of comfort in her. I also love how much of a flirt she can be, it's very funny.

Arisa: I loooove how much she clearly loves her friends and just..... How they've clearly improved her life so so much and she definitely knows it at least to some degree. I also love her dynamic with nearly every character she interacts with, and she's also just very funny all around

Saya: welp time to go back to my "I have depression and am tired of only getting like 2 flavors of depressed characters in media" chair. Saya is another character that I can deeply relate to, and I think shes genuinely one of the best written bandori characters I love her sm. Also, as I have said with all characters before and all characters since, she is soooo funny strong contender for funniest bandori character imo honestly Saya's sooo underated from a comedy perspective vmfndjfmd

Tae: yes. I like you. What a wonderful silly guy. Tae was actually my original favorite poppin'party member, and tbh for the first lil while she was the only one of their band I was even slightly interested in dndbdjcnshf. I looooove her design a LOT and she also has some of my favorite outfits of the cast, and also again, hee hoo funny

Rimi: I mean, she's ok I guess. Her design is nice, and she's nice I guess, but idk she doesn't rly stand out amongst the crowd. Where's she on my favorites list again? Wait. What do you mean she's my 3rd favorite????? How did this happen?!?!?!?! Ok but in all seriousness though I literally cannot think of a way to properly get across how much I love Rimi. She's like my #1 kin of all time and also just. Idk I literally cannot think of a single thing to say abt her but you have to trust me she's perfect and amazing and I love her.

Ran: ah yes, Ran, my poor little meow meow, the most pathetic wet cat in bandori. I love Ran oh so dearly, I will bully them relentlessly but also I do genuinely find so much comfort in them, they're one of The comfort characters to me. Specifically in relation to my autistic Ran hcs, it's like 65% projection and the only reason it isn't 100% is because I refrained from also giving them my adhd fndjdnsjrnd

Tsugumi: mannnnnn Tsugumi. Tsugumi. Sure is one of the characters ever /pos. I have SO many Tsugumi thoughts, again mostly projection, but also I just. Rly like Tsugumi in general. I think what rly appeals to me abt them is that I can relate to a lot of their feelings of inadequacy, and I can't help but slip and project onto them a lot.

Tomoe: ah yes, one of the first bandori characters outside of Kaoru to get me deeply invested in them. I don't talk abt Tomoe as much as I should tbh, I rly do love her a LOT and she's probably a good 20% of the reason bandori stuck with my like it did. I LOVE her design, and also I just rly like her personality in general. I love how much she tries to look out for the people around her while not always being good at it, and I think I desperately want those glimpses of anxiety from afterglow bs2 to be explored more, which reminds me I should REALLY get to reading afterglow bs3 soon I'll do that at some point

Moca: yeah I guess I like Moca a lil bit. Just a tiny bit. It's only my number one favorite character of all time, no big deal. Anyways, Moca makes my brain feel like a can of bees, it just. Fuck man Moca is so good. Probably one of the best written characters in bandori in my opinion, and just. Man does a lot of Moca's issues hit rly close to home for me. I love pretty much everything abt Moca, but I will never get over Moca's arc, especially the aspects of it abt Moca actually deciding to try and work through its self loathing issues, I think that is probably what hit me the hardest.

Himari: yknow, Himari actually used to be one of the bandori characters I cared abt the least, but she's REALLY grown on me over the past few months. Like she'd probably be the character that grew on me the most since my first impression of them if it weren't for Rimi dnrjfmdgfh. She's another one I have a hard time wording exactly why I like them sm, but I think a big part of it is that she's soooo fun to analyse once you start to dig more into her character. I honestly doubt she was meant to be analysed this heavily, but that will not stop me from wanting to study her under a microscope. Also, my sibling loves her and I associate her with him a lot so that also gives her points

Aya: ah yes, the og poor little meow meow. Aya was the first pastel*palletes member I got rly attached to, and then I though of he/him lesbian Aya hc, and then I started thinking way too hard abt him in general fndirndg. I love how pathetic and sad he is, and I also just. LOVE how he interacts with every one of his bandmates, both from a character dynamic perspective and from a narrative one. Also, he's stupid and I love him

Eve: Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eeeeeeeve. I have many thoughts abt her. She's another one that took me a LONG time to rly get attached to, but man. She's got her hooks in my brain now and I will never stop being pissy by how underutilized she is by both the writers and the fandom fmdbdjfndu. Like don't get me wrong, she's not never utilized, but I think it's fair to say that on the whole she's one of the characters the writers take the least seriously. But back to being positive, I REALLY love how she's just. Such a good foil to Chisato specifically, and I also just love how despite having been burned by the flames of the spotlight before, she still pushes for things to be better, because even if it seems unrealistic, if things could be better then it's worth it to at least try. I've been thinking abt her a lot lately if you couldn't tell fmfkfndjd

Maya: she is simply sooooo autistic and transfem like y'all have no idea. It's honestly amazing how easy it is to read her stories with a trans lense, and I just generally rly like her writing, with like some minor complaints but that's not what this post is abt djdnsjrneg. Also!!! I love her casual wear designs SO much!!!!! She looks so cool and pretty and I just love her design sooooo much. Also I think she and Eve should hold hands

Hina: you. You. YOU. This little fucker makes me feel SO many emotions she is just sooooo autistic and her writing is just. SOOOO good. I can and will talk for soooo long abt her story, just. Man. As a person with both autism and adhd who was often hated or infantised amongst it's friend groups over the years, I can relate to Hina's issues soooo much and her story means so so much to me because of that. Her dynamic with her bandmates is just everything to me, and she also just parallels the others so well, and god pastel*palletes is just so good as a whole

Chisato: why hello there second favorite bandori character. I sure have written a few character analysis things abt you. And by a few I mean a lot. Just..... Man Chisato is genuinely soooo interesting and they might honestly be the most complex character in bandori writing wise. Like even beyond their more obvious complexities, there's a surprising amount of other subtler details of their writing that manages to stay consistent and make a lot of sense with their character. If you've followed me for a decent amount of time you've probably seen at least one of my Chisato character analysis posts, so I don't think I need to go on too long fnfndjrnf

Yukina: shakes her violently /pos. Yukina is another character that I only rly started high key adoring more recently, but I've always liked her quite a lot. She is the second of the poor little meow meow trio among my top ten, and she's just. Such a funny pathetic little guy who I adore. I wish I had more to say abt her, but idk what else to say she's just my poor little meow meow

Rinko: Im sooooo sorry Rinko honey I like never talk abt you but mannnn your design and voice are both soooo pretty and also you have some of the best cards.... Also I personally think she has some of the best dynamics with characters outside of her band of the bunch, and I can't help but be surprised by just how versatile of a character she ended up being. I honestly initially thought she'd be super boring, but she is honestly rly fun to read abt, although I will admit I prefer her in stories not completely centered on her.

Ako: Ako my bestie Ako my beloved. Well first and foremost, she's the owner of my favorite singing voice in bandori, so that's good for her, but also I just rly like how fun she is. Her design, her voice, her personality, she's just a rly fun character and I almost always like seeing her around in any given story. Shes also my siblings favorite character, so bonus points for that.

Sayo: ah yes, the issues haver. Tbh I haven't done as much deep character analysis with her as with other characters, but I still personally rly like Sayo and will defend her to the death from people who overly demonize her. I will refrain from going on that rant though for now, and simply talk abt what I like abt her. She's just. Such a deadbeat loser /pos. Like she's what I mean when I say I want more deadbeat loser fail women in media, she's just such an idiot loser dork and I love her so much for it

Lisa: aaand here's number 5 in my top five. I would go into detail on why I love her but that would get real personal real fast so I'll just summarise it by saying this; whatever is wrong with me and whatever is wrong with her is the same and I want her to see a therapist sooo bad

Kokoro: ohhhhhh Kokoro. My sweet darling Kokoro. I've always rly liked her, and Im glad to because she rly helped put me in the right headspace to analyse bandori characters, because she genuinely is SUCH an interesting character that DOES have layers, but it's just hard to notice if you try to read her stuff like you'd read more long and angst heavy media. Just because she isn't secretly miserable all the time doesn't mean there isn't depth to her, because there genuinely is a lot and I rly like that abt her. She's a very fun character to analyse

Misaki: mannn I love Misaki a lot actually. Like, I feel like shed be the sort of character 14 year old me would rly like, and for once I don't mean that in a bad way fndjdmdjr. She's of course very funny, being both just some guy in a very wacky cast while also being low key also a dumbass but in denial abt it, but I also love how she rly does genuinely love hello happy world. Like, I feel like it's a bit to common to think of Misaki like she hates the band and it's members, but she isn't just a ball of endless negativity and I like to appreciate that now and then since a lot of the fandom doesn't lol

Kanon: ah yes the character I have the worst takes on by far /hj. Well ok its mostly contained in aus but still vdndndjdbd. Not focusing on that though, the more time goes on the more I just. Rly rly like her arc. Like, idk there's something abt how hard she works to not just be more confident, but to be a good person who helps people and lifts them up like Kokoro did with her that I just love a lot. Tbh, it's probably because of those bad takes I mentioned before, since that particular arc stands out a lot more in my mind next to two au versions of her I have in particular that uh. Could rly use those messages fmdjdnsjv. But yeah, I simply think she's neat (<- is holding back just oh so much rn so people don't get mad at it)

Kaoru: ah yes, the beloved of all time. Kaoru is like. The entire reason I first got into bandori so that alone is a pretty big plus rnsjrndy. But also, to get real sappy for a moment, Kaoru's whole thing abt like. Self love and allowing yourself to acknowledge every version of yourself, and understand that they are all deserving of love, it just. Genuinely means so much to me, and I wish I had a story like hers to see when I was younger and going through some very intense self loathing issues. Also gay gay homosexual gay.

Hagumi: the character ever Im tired of everyone pretending she's uninteresting actually!!! Similar with Kokoro, she DOES have a lot of depth, she's just not easy to analyse if you're expecting the stories to spoon feed all her issues to you. Anyways, I love how she manages to be written as a person with a lot of anxiety, which is often worsened by her being very high empathy, but it's not presented in a way that makes it seem like her happiness is pretend. She finds a lot of comfort and confidence in her friends and in hello happy world, and it's hard to tell if you don't know what to look for but she genuinely is doing a lot better now mentally than she was before. I love her very dearly.

Mashiro: I love this dramatic gay loser who only gives off the illusion of not being dramatic because she's an anxious person. First things first, god her design is so fucking pretty man and I loooove her voice sm too.... And also, I rly like how she manages to be a generally kind person while still being kind of an ass sometimes, and I like how that's a thing actively acknowledged by the narrative and how it's something she's trying to improve on, and on that line I like that it's not something that just disappeared after morfonica bs1, it honestly makes her feel like a really well rounded character that actually like. Has to put effort into being better and stuff. Idk I just think she's neat

Rui: love this bastard sm she's just soooo full of issues. Like, I rly rly like how morfonica bs2 brought up that Rui's act of maturity is ultimately just an act, and how because of how much she's just been playing that guessing game of playing adult, she genuinely doesn't know how to deal with any of her emotions, even positive ones. And yet, shes still somewhat aware of how bad it is for her, but doesn't know how to change that or even if she can, and trying to reach for that is scary to her. She didn't just join morfonica to stand around and be mean or whatever, she does genuinely want them to change her mind on there being other options for her other than her cage of "logic", and while she still does have a ways to go, she is making progress.

Tsukushi: firstly, I love her voice and design a lot. Secondly, I just like her man I don't think I could rly tell you why but she's just rly likable to me idk. It might just be me relating to her as a fellow eldest sibling short king™, but I just think she's really relatable and is just funny. Also shes shorter than me so Im legally allowed to make fun of her for being short, ha short

Touko: and the last of the top five, here's my dear ol number 4. Look at me. Look. Look at me. They have so much fucking adhd man like I cannot overstate this enough they have so much adhd I relate to them SO hard and also they're just. So undiagnosed with so many mental issues that I also have so I just legally have to adore them ok

Nanami: bingus my beloved. Her design is just soooooooo pretty man and also kitty faced characters are my favorites design wise so thats many bonus points for her. She also just has sooo much autism, and I also rly rly like her dynamic with Rui. I want to cradle her in my arms like a cat

Layer: and it's time for the last of the poor little meow meow trio, and lemme tell you, Layer is very hard to talk abt for me dnsnsjdnsh. Like I love them so so dearly their my favorite ras member by a long shot but like. Idk what to say other that she's just a deeply pathetic loser and I wanna shove her down a flight of stairs and shake them like a soda can /pos

Pareo: absolutely superb you funky little lesbian. Anyways Pareo is one of the best written characters in this damn game and just. Fuck man after having been in a fandom where 99% of the gay coding was just blatant bigotry, coming into bandori was such a nice fresh breath of air, with Pareo being one of the biggest reasons why. She's a great example of a lesbian coded character that very clearly was intended for sapphic people and was written by sapphic people and is actually written like. Well. Like I was gonna say even if her being a lesbian can't be canonically said, but like she literally has used explicitly romantic language to confess to Chu2 so idk what to tell y'all

Masking: love this lil loser. I find him soooo funny but to be fair that's partially from me just stamping my siblings humor onto him rndjvtndhd. Also, yummy yummy tasty design, probably one of my top favorites tbh. I swear I have more to say abt him but it's 4 am and my brain is melting Im so sorry Masking I love you

Lock: loser idiot loser I like this dork sm. Lock has just sooo many good dynamics with people, with their relationships with Asuka and Ako being my personal favorites, and I also just like their personality in general. Again Id have more to say but it's 4 am Im so sorry sweety

Chu2: I'm gonna try to overpower the exhaustion just a lil bit for this stinky kitty because god damn do I ADORE Chu2. Like, she's another very very strongly adhd coded character in bandori, and also canonically sapphic so that's also cool, but I also rly like her for similar reasons that I like Mashiro, that being that she has issues that she's working on, but shes clearly having to put actual work into it. This is amplified by the fact that she's like 14, and has mostly had to raise herself and doesn't know how to deal with a lot of this stuff on her own, and like. It's ok that she needs support, but I also like that she's not treated like she can just get away with being a shithead all the time, her actions do have consequences and she does realise that. I still need to go check again if ras bs2 has any good fan translations yet soon, I am thrilled by all the concepts in it I've heard of so far. Chu2 demonizers dni /srs

#rat rambles #bandori #Im not tagging every character its 4 am and my brain is melting its just not happening gn

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 5 years ago

Text

Humans are Space Orcs “Christmas.”

wrote this based on a request for fluff, so I have delivered the fluff. There is a certain group of you who will probably be a little bit made at me when you finish :)

But here is the token Christmas episode, and I hope you all like it

“Alright, try it now.”

“But Commander, I'll have to pull power from the reactor core.”

“I said do it airmen, did it sound like a question?”

“Yes, sir.”

A sudden eruption of lights exploded about the mess hall, and down the hallways of the ship, thousands of tiny twinkling lights. Krill, having been walking to speak with the Commander paused at the entrance to the room and spun around in wonder. Lines upon lines of lights had appeared out of nowhere to be projected around the walls of the room and down the hallways of the ship. They weren’t bright or anything, instead an almost delicate yellow in color gently twinkling like the light of distant stars.

“Get those overhead lights off,”

With a loud thud, the lights switched off, casting the room into the warm ambient glow of those thousand twinkling lights. He spun in a circle staring up at the ceiling, shocked to find a mosaic of falling snowflakes, which faded and vanished before hitting the floor,

“Give me more fall-off on that snow airman. Tomorrow better be magical or someone is getting their ass fired.”

He turned his head again eyes widening in geater wonder as they fell on the center of the room. The flickering, projected hologram of a massive tree. It was one of those furry looking earth plants that could reach higher than thirty feet tall, though this one only nearly brushed the ceiling. It stood in the middle of the room decorated by hundreds more twinkling lights, yards of red ribbon and shiny glass balls. Atop the tree, there was projected the human caricature of a star glittering with firelight.

Tongues of phantom fire licked against the far wall, under a mantle of stone and brick.

Krill turned in another wide circle as the strange lights flickered around him, reminding him strangely of the space walk he had gone on with the commander so long ago, stepping out into the darkness surrounded by stars, alone in the vastness of space, but where that had been cold and distant, this was a close warmness that filled him up from the inside and made him feel oddly warm.

Soft footsteps behind him and then a pause.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

“What is it?’

“Realistically, more than four thousand years of pagan-christian and corporate tradition.” Krill looked up to find the array of glittering lights reflected against the human’s bright green iris. His voice grew soft, though it stayed warm, “More romanticized…. This is…. Home. This is childhood and imagination, and family wrapped in a box and tied with a bow. This is being warm when its cold and loved when you’re alone. This is comfort on the edges of space when earth is a trillion lightyears away and you may never go back.”

“Feeling a bit poetic today I see?’

The Commander shrugged, “Maybe a little…. Kind of homesick too.” he sighed, “This is the first year I won’t be celebrating Christmas with my family.”

“Christmas?”

“Yeah, I’m not exactly sure what it meant to other people, but when I was a kid, it was mostly just a day to celebrate our family…. Mom loves Christmas, she goes all out every year, even when things were tight…. She always managed to make things special. One year dad snuck out in the middle of the night and left reindeer tracks in the snow to convince us they had been there.”

“Er, Reindeer?”

“Ah, never mind. I’ll tell you about it later. Important thing is getting everything ready for tonight. If you want to see the real magic.”

Krill stared at the commander as he walked away not entirely sure what the hell that was supposed to mean. He was trailed by a rather grumpy looking Glados. In the past few months the adaptid had grown to the size of a medium sized dog, and the Commander was, more and more, forcing her to walk on her own, Which she didn’t much like.

Krill glanced around at the lights one last time before returning down the hall and towards the medical bay. All across the ship crew members were busy putting up decorations, stringing strange fluffy streamers over the exposed piping.

One crew-member, in a red and a green hat with a bell on top was hanging strange plants from the tops of doorways. He looked on in confusion before stepping into the medical bay greeted by Dr. Katie, who was wearing a red and white dress with a matching hat and striped leggings. She looked like a peppermint stick...

“Good evening krlll, are you ready for christmas?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Other than it's some sort of human holiday.”

“Yeah, it’s the one day of year where people get together and give each other gifts and stuff. To some people it means different things, simply a family day or to celebrate religious figures. Just sort of depends. Some people don’t celebrate it at all, but the Commander seems pretty big on christmas, so why not.”

“Why are you dressed up like that?”

She winked at him, “Because I’m an elf silly.”

“You know this is almost the first time in half a year in which I have no understood a single word coming out of your mouth. She simply winked and continued on her way whistling happily.”

Of course the night came, and out of Character Dr. katie curled up on one of the hospital beds and fell asleep leaving Krill alone in the half darkness. He spent the rest of his time on the internet looking up information on the so-called holiday. What he found was a tangled mess of pagan-cristian-and corporate traditions just like the Commander had suggested. A lot to do with saints and demons and more information than he was willing to read all the way through at this moment. He wasn’t a xeno historian after all.

The night wore on, and he sensed a strange stillness in the air around him caused by the ambient light leaking in from the hallway, warm and fiery.

It was close to two in the morning when a knock came on the door to the medical bay. Dr. Katie stirred and sat up adjusting her dress as she ran over motioning Krill after her. Curiously he followed after her, stepping into the hall to find….. More than a strange sight. There was Conn, draped all over in glittering tinsel to add to his flowing ribbons. A couple other humans were dressed in the strange red and green costumes with pointy hats and bells on their shoes. Waffles, the dog, was sitting just before the door wearing a fake pair of antlers, her tongue lolling happily from one side of her mouth. Sitting with her were the three adaptids in similar states of dress glados looking cowed but a little more than miffed to be there. Both of them were covered in bells as well, and all of that strangeness arrayed around the weirdest thing of all, a very large fat man in a blindingly red suit, and big white beard.

He moved forward ad Dr. Katie hopped over to join the strange party grinning and giggling as she patted waffle’s head. The dog licked her hand, “You make such adorable reindeer.” She reached down to pat Glados next, and the adaptid sulked, but didn’t try to bite her as she might have done with someone else.

“HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!” Said the big fat man, and looking up into his eyes, Krill suddenly grew very suspicious. He had only ever seen a shade of green like that on one human.

“What the hell have you done to yourself.” he demanded.

Adam raised an eyebrow, though most of his face was covered by a beard, “I have no idea what you’re on about.”

Krill was horrified, “Look at you…. How…. how do you gain that much weight in such a short amount of time. Are you mad? Are you ok? Are you going to die of a heart attack in the next fifteen minutes because something tells me this can’t be healthy.” He glared at the human, “When were you going to tell me that humans could just spontaneously gain an enormous amount of weight. Whatever this is, it is an immediate medical emergency. Plus the beard, some serious hormonal dis-regulation I can’t even begin to imagine what sort of-”

“KRILL! Its a suit, a costume, I didn’t just spontaneously gain weight.” The human adjusted his beard voice sounding more normal now that he wasn’t trying to make it deeper, “I’m Santa Claus?

“And who is that supposed to be?”

“Well, he is the physical embodiment of the spirit of Christmas. Legend says, he lives at the north pole, and works with the elves making toys all year round. He keeps to lists, and on one list appears the name of all the well behaved children, and on the other list appears the names of the naughty children, he will check both lists twice, and there is no point trying to trick him because he sees everything. And then on the night of Christmas, he gathers all the presents into the back of his sleigh, which is pulled by nine magical flying reindeer. Then, he takes all night to to fly all around the world delivering presents to kids. Most of the time he comes down the chimney, if you have one. He will fill stockings (socks) hung over the fireplace with small toys and then put the big presents under the Christmas tree. If you were a bad kid than he wouldn’t leave a present, but a lump of coal instead. Generally it is recommended that one leaves some cookies and a glass of milk out as a thank you, oh, and carrots for the reindeer.”

….

There was silence for a long moment, “What in the name of beelzebub's balls kind of story is that.”

Even through the beard he could tell that Adam was frowning, “Stop being such a Grinch. It’s a great story, to help kids behave, and keep the magic alive for a little while before you become and old cantankerous adult that doesn’t believe in anyone or anything anymore.”

“And what is a grinch.”

“A grinch is an angry green person who hates to see other people happy….. Arguably they also hate corporate Christmas, but I digress. Scrooge is also someone who doesn't get the point of Christmas, and both are definitely insults, now come on. You are joining me and my elves while we go deliver presents.”

Before he could protest, he was presented with pointy hat with a bell on it, and forced to follow as they wandered silently off down the halls.

Adam pulled out a clipboard, “Alright everyone, our list here says that approximately 85% of the crew celebrates Christmas, but we will still be delivering presents to everyone because we are nice and that is what we do. Nobody is expected to join in tomorrow but everyone is invited because we aren't trash humans.” Glados and Waffles walked at his heels as the rest of the humans followed behind lugging large bags over their shoulders, “Alright Katie, you’re with me in filling the stockings, the rest of you are charged with leaving a trail to the mess hall where the actual presents will be, one for everyone at least, no one is left out. Corporal, you get the people who don’t celebrate Christmas, and just leave the gifts outside their doors. Make sure to leave the notes for them as well so they know they are invited if they want to come.”

“Yes s…. Ur Mr. Claus?”

“Damn Straight.”

“What about the Drev?”

“I am including them in the list of people who celebrate simply because I want them to have the experience once before they decide whether they like it or not. Everyone should get the chance to at least choose.”

It too nearly the next few hours to get things done. Krill Accompanied the Commander, Conn, waffles, and the Adaptids as they jingled quietly up the halls slipping into rooms where crew members had been instructed to leave socks hanging from their bed frames.

On more than one occasion Krill watched as a very confused human, light sleeper, sat up and watched blearily as they exited the room with a confused look on their faces. Some seeming even amused. The heavier sleepers didn’t notice a thing.

They reached the Drev and Marine quarters at some point towards the end of the night, making it through one relatively quickly, but just as he was about to step into the last room, Glados growled and snapped at his boot.

Commander…. Santa? Looked down and harrumphed, “Someone here is going on the naughty list.” Katie and Krill leaned forward as a light shined down on the delicate silver trip wire cut across the door.

Katie snorted, “Coal.”

Quietly, he stepped over the line and into the room Glados leaping behind him. “Alright which one of the naughty children is trying to capture St. Nick?”

Krill turned on his thermal vision and could see the vast majority of the marines were not sleeping.”

He turned to look over at Krill and Conn, who motioned in the direction of one of the beds. He walked quietly over leaning next to the ear of the ‘supposedly” Sleeping marine, “I see you when you’re sleeping Ramiez .”

There was an eruption of uncontained giggling around the room, which was rather strange coming from the large, muscular humans.

“Oh…. kinky.” A muffled voice whispered from somewhere.

More giggling.

“Is that you Santa?”

“Guess who's getting coal for Christmas.”

He turned towards the door.

“Wait, wait, Santa, wait! I have a question. “

He paused in the doorway raising his eyebrows at the marines who were sitting up, “What?”

“How did you get here without reindeer?”

He wagged a finger at them, “Very carefully. You better thank my elves, they had to get degrees in engineering, physics and rocket science to get me here. And what is worse, my Star-sleigh was pulled by a bunch of snarky starborn led by that one.” He pointed towards Conn, “he almost guided us into a black hole, so you better be nice and leave me out some cookies next year.”

He stepped over the tripwire and back out into the hallway allowing the door to shut closed behind them.

Outside there was a trail of tinsel and strange footprints leading away from the doors and down the halls. He left the bag just outside the door with the rest of the stocking stuffers in it, not ever having intended to leave the marines with just coal.

They took one last jingling run up and down the halls for effect before retreating to the mess hall where they promptly passed out on bean bags by the holographic tree in front of the holographic fire.

Glados crawled up onto the fake belly and curled up there glowering at anyone who got to close. Waffles and the other adaptids curled up just to the side.

***

Sunny woke up early the next morning thinking how odd it was, that strange tinkling sound in the middle of the night. She sat up looking over at the sock she had been asked to place in her room. She had been forced to borrow it from someone considering she didn’t wear socks, and was surprised to find something sticking out of it.

She wandered over and tipped the contents into her hands surprised to find an earth flower, and some miscellaneous items of use for her work down in engineering.

Curiously, she opened the door into the hallway idly munching on the flower, and found a trail leading from her door and down the hall. The scene surprised her, and she wasn’t entirely sure what to think. It clearly had the intention of being followed, and curious, she followed finishing off the flower as she came around the corner dropping the stem in surprise when she saw the room before her.

Hundreds of holographic lights, a tree, fire, piles of blankets and beanbags and lounging humans half asleep. Conn was floating up near the ceiling trailing tinsel. Krill was hovering beside the tree looking more than a little confused. Dr. Katie was moving wrapped gifts below the tree dressed like a peppermint stick.

Adam….. Well Adam was peeling off a suit that added about two hundred pounds to his frame. It seemed as if there had also been a fake beard and massive coat, as far as she could see. Took him a few seconds to wriggle out of the boots and oversized pants dumping them on a chair close by leaving him in a white shirt and military issue olive green pants.

He looked up from where he had dumped his costume and grinned at her.

She walked closer.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Erm…. Merry Christmas?.... What’s a Christmas.”

“Apparently it’s a human holiday perpetrated on the idea that a magical fat man in a red suit, flies around the world on a magical sleigh pulled by magical non-flying flying mammal to deliver presents to children who were good…. Oh also he watches you when you sleep.” Sunny stared at Krill in confusion.

Overhead Conn was mimicking voiceless laughter.

“Don’t mind him, he's being a little grinch as usual. Come on, we’re just waiting to give people time to show up, and then we are gonna open presents.”

“How did you manage to get something for everyone?

“Well I asked for help number one, but number two, what else am I supposed to do with my money. I mean I have a place to live, a place to sleep, entertainment, food, anything a guy could as for, so I just threw a paycheck or two at it. Otherwise its just sitting in my bank account collecting dust until I can find something dumb and nerdy to spend it on…. I thought…. Well I thought this would mean more than getting myself a light-saber or something.”

She stared at him for a long moment, “You are such a…. Sap.”

He smiled, “Maybe a little. I mean it's not much, anyway, but it made me feel good.”

She paused, tilted her head, and then hugged him. He seemed a little surprised one eye peering up at her from a four- arm embrace. He didn’t say anything until she let him go and he stepped back to look at her, “What was that for?”

“You…. well. You… deserve it. And I don’t think you get reminded enough.”

She thought she saw a little bit of red creeping up his neck and he looked down at his feet, waving it off, “Nah, if you knew what went on inside my head, you wouldn’t say that.”

She decided not to argue with him, humans were horrible with accepting compliments sometimes. Instead she found herself sharing music with him as they lay on one of the beanbags waiting for the others to arrive.

He had his eyes closed appearing as if he was sleeping through she knew he probably wasn't . At some point he adjusted himself so that his head was resting on one of her arms, using her like a pillow. A few more people started to trickle in, including the marines, one of which, Ramirez, was wearing bright red footie pajamas and walked over to claim a bean bag just to the wide.

Adam opened an eye and looked over at him, “What the hell are you wearing.”

“My footie pajamas.”

“Yeah I got that…..”

“Don’t diss the footies..”

“ Yeah sure, anyway what would have happened if I stepped on the trip-wire?” Sunny lifted her head at the mention of a trip wire.

Ramirez grinned, “it would have been pretty glorious, that’s what, but guess you will never know.”

“Rude.”

A few of the other marines wandered in blearily, CJ, Davis, and maverick who took a seat cross-legged on the floor her short blond hair sticking up in all directions like the open wings of a bird.

Finally The commander determined it was time and began handing out the presents, first to the more introverted people, who he figured could take their present and head off if they really wanted. A few of the non-Christmas-people showed up just to hang out causing a sort of slow trickle in and out of the room almost constantly.

Krill and Conn were both presented with gifts, Krill who just happened to get a little cube that was advertised as holding about a million different puzzles of all different types and at varying levels He seemed pleased, though he insisted on his patrol through the room to make sure the humans weren’t doing anything stupid.

Conn was presented with some sort of hand-held gaming system, actually relatively cheap compared to what they used to be.

He loved it.

ANd based on Commander Vir’s smug expression, he had done it on purpose, probably to keep the starborn out of his head.

Sunny was standing at the back of the room watching the humans rather fondly, as well as the other Drev, who seemed to be enjoying themselves as much as the humans. Her brother and Maverick were causing trouble across the room and nearly giving krill a conniption. Watching all of this, she still noticed Adam approaching from the side holding one last box.

He held it up, “One more present left.”

She turned to face him, “For you.”

He held it out, “Well you, obviously….. I sort of waited till last because…. Well you technically got more than everyone else. My Mom sent a few things up, and I just added her gift to mine.”

Sunny took the box and looked up in surprise, “Your mom…. But she…. She hates me.”

A small smile, “I think she's come around. It’s just taken her a while. I think this is supposed to be an apology. It's pretty cute, I think you should wear it.”

Out of curiosity, she opened the box and looked inside to find a piece of fabric neatly folded on top. With her upper hands she reached to unfold it, whatever it was it was made out of very warm material, “What is it?”

“I guess it's called a cowl. She thought it would be something she could make that wouldn't get in the way of you wearing armor, and, since you guys sometimes wear capes, it would also go with that. Here try it on.” He took it from her hands standing on his tip-toes to pull it over her head and shoulders. Turned out it was pretty much just a hood, unattached to anything and that really only covered the head and shoulders.

She peered out form inside, to see him grinning.

It was a funny picture, though she could see out, really the only think everyone else saw was the end of her snout/beak peeping out from under the hood. She lifted her head, and the hood fell a little further over her eyes.

He laughed, and helped her pull it back a bit, “She thought since you guys are more… warm weather creatures, that you could probably use one of these on our expeditions.”

“You should tell her thanks, from me.”

“I will.”

She looked back down inside the box and was surprised to find it was full of different kinds of flowers. She looked back up at him in surprise, “How did you get these out here.”

“Wasn’t easy, tell you that.”

She leaned down snapping one of them up rewarded with a very light fragrant flavor. It was pretty nice, but then she looked back at Adam to see him smiling nearly dropping the box when she realized, “You! Where is your present. Didn’t you get anything?”

He just broke into a smile, “Sunny, I’m friends with like seven different kinds of aliens, I Command an entire FLEET of spaceships, and have like 300+ friends. I got my childhood dream, so what else do I need?”

She paused sure he was right, but also feeling bad.

They stood there together, looking out at the room when Ramirez glided past still in his footie pajamas. As he did his eyes widened a bit and he paused a slow grin spreading over his face. Adam gave him a very confused expression, but Ramirez just shook his head and pointed up before gliding away.

In confusion both Sunny and Adam looked up.

Sunny tilted her head.

“What is that?”

She turned her head down to look at Adam and found the man’s skin changing color again. “Er….. it’s…. That appears to be…. mistletoe .”

She lifted her head again to stare at the strange plant, “Oh….. like in that Christmas movie….”

“Yeah…. Like in that…. Christmas movie.”

“Oh.”

They both looked down at about the same time. The way the Christmas lights interacted with the UV patterns on his skin, turned the usually blue, turquoise pattern on his skin almost electric lightning blue. The green in his eyes was more potent with the way the light refracted in them. Little twinkling lights danced over the polished surface of her bright-blue carapace.

He didn’t look away.

Neither did she.

And then a small brown shape came screaming from nowhere cutting between them. They both stepped back in shock, and Krill roared past grabbing the plant from where it hung, “Reeeeeeeeeeeeeee! NO, NO, NO, NO STUPID IDIOTIC HUMANS HANGING POISONOUS THINGS WHERE ANY OTHER STUPID HUMAN MIGHT EAT THEM! I WILL NOT HAVE IT YOU HEAR ME. I WILL NOT” and then he went roaring away trailing laughter in his wake. Slowly Sunny and Adam turned to look at each other before doubling over racked with fits of laughter. Adam ended up on the floor leaning against the wall, just below where Sunny propped herself.

Just when they thought they'd stop laughing, they started up again.

“Damn…. Crazy…. Bastard.” Adam Wheezed crawling to his feet

“Did you hear that sound he made?”

“Yeah, classic Krill….. Anyway.” He paused shuffling his feet, “Wanna go, push Ramirez over or something?”

“Sounds fun, I’m in.”

“Sweet.”

By the end of the hour, Ramirez was upside down in a pile of bean bags everyone laughing at his expense.

All in all, it was a pretty good Christmas

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peek-mag · 5 years ago

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On Suffering/Salvation

It’s been difficult to discern how to feel about all that is happening in the world at the moment, and that uncertainty has kept me away from responding to the handful of messages asking for advice on doing just that. But in a moment of clarity a course has been cut through the mental clutter, and so I’d like to offer my paltry sentiments here.

At first, admittedly, there was a novel thrill of life being completely upended. Of so many questions and such abrupt changes; all of a sudden out of work with millions of others, strongly urged to stay inside. It was reason to commune more regularly with the people I always guilt myself for not communing more regularly with–my parents, siblings, best friends from my hometown. In that sense, there was a comfort in being on a sinking ship, dancing with the band. We were all headed somewhere entirely uncertain together.

I am, most certainly, an introvert by emotional nature. I am quite comfortable holed up at home, with books, cats, tidying, little creative projects. We live near a wonderful park, and the slow emergence of spring has offered chilly, sunny walks by the river where, when it edges near 60° you’d be hard press to think anything was amiss, save for the surgical masks and gloves donned by stroller pushers, joggers, and dog walkers.

In that sense, much feels unaltered. Without logging onto Twitter, switching on CNN or talking to a particularly anxious family member, there is little outside the window to suggest that something terribly wrong is afoot. The air feels calm, though we know it’s a deadly sort of calm. Because of this knowing there has been much to take stock of and tally gratitude for on a daily basis. I have my health. My friends and family have their health. We have enough food. We are able to make ends meet. Those simple truths, when all else has been snatched out from under you, are truly enough. Which is what musings on this pandemic seem to unearth for those of us who, while interrupted, are not on the edge of disaster. There is so much to be grateful for, and they are unsurprisingly the most simple things: food, shelter, love, and sunshine.

How anyone can fix his gaze on anything else perplexes me. Sure, there are frustrations, there is the economic depression to be bothered by, the complete failings of our government, the violence that is the capitalist system, the thousands that are dying daily, silently and alone. But from where you stand, when you take stock, how do things fair? I find it troubling that our minds tend to rest and dwell in such negative spaces, when if the scope is pulled back and our lives are placed in context, we are doing alright. As a society, there are holes, we are hurting, but as individuals, often, we are doing alright.

We cannot help, it seems, but to focus on what hasn’t clicked into place yet, or that which has become slightly unhinged. It is something rather perpetual in our nature. We, as humans, have this odd and pernicious tendency to–while having the capacity to achieve happiness, health, and safety–thwart our own advances to such aims with every generation, through every millenia. Even when no immediate threat is posed to our daily lives, even when we ourselves are safe and met with the essentials, we are unable to unburden ourselves from a narrative of suffering.

Humans, it seems, and as philosophers have narrated, are obsessed with our own suffering (I’m surely not the first or only to this point. In fact, I’d say required reading on this subject would be this article from The School of Life). We will, without fail, create conflict with our societies and daily lives even when, with a different narrative bend, the same circumstances could well be quite peaceful.

I have been considering this for some time, having observed with close proximity individuals intent on their own stories of suffering, and being guilty of the same in some small way I’m sure. There seems a real threat to abandoning something that seemingly speaks so directly to one’s identity. Depression, loss, financial struggle, past abuse, loneliness, neglect, rejection–we experience these things almost universally, with varying degrees of seriousness and for varying lengths of time. And often it seems the habit is to wear one’s suffering as a badge of honor; not as though having survived means now being that much stronger, but as though the suffering itself is an indelible mark of achievement.

As a society, we have romanticized the notion of suffering; we are so drawn to the idea of suffering that we cannot look away when we see it, and we cannot give it up when we experience it. Having suffered becomes something so essential to the fabric of social validity that we lock our stories of suffering to our identity, and carry them with us throughout the remainder of our lives–quite often when we are in truth far from them. And while the burden of the load strains our backs, we fear nothing more than simply putting it down and walking on.

There is a very real threat present in the world right now, one that presents itself in the form of an infectious disease, one that presents itself in the form of economic instability, or perhaps near ruin for some, and one that presents itself existentially in how we view the society that supports (or doesn’t) our daily lives and our relative place within it.

For many, this crisis may have illuminated how insignificant to the larger whole you really are. But that is unlikely, as each of us stands at the center of our own orbit. In fact, for most people there may be the urge to make this totally personal, something that is happening to you, with the other billions of people in the world as mere background cast. It is another failing of the mind to be unable to consider with any real gravity the lives of people it has never met and play no immediate consequence on its reality.

But if ever there is a moment to do so, to consider the lives of people one has never met, I’d say this is it. You feel lonely? Yes, I’d say we all collectively feel lonely at the moment. People sharing beds likely feel lonely curled next to each other at night, and medical workers in packed hospitals likely feel lonely as they near the end of a twelve hour shift, and the journalist attempting to report the truth certainly feels lonely, and the mother now tasked with homeschooling three kids most definitely feels lonely, and lost, and mad; and the thirty five year old with a new baby at home, hooked up to a ventilator but likely to die with no one near him save for anonymous, hurried ghosts in PPE feels perhaps loneliest of all.

The paradox of loneliness is that we all often feel it all together and all at once. Because to be truly understood is something that perpetually eludes us. There is real consequence to not knowing oneself, and often loneliness strikes an especially unnerving chord when the only companionship one has is with a stranger. For that reason quiet reflection is perhaps one of the most essential, grueling, and under-appreciated endeavors we can undertake.

I don’t think one needs to be particularly useful or productive at this moment, a dangerous impulse under normal circumstances and increasingly more so now, but I do think if nothing else one can take stock and find gratitude.

To focus on your suffering is to get this wrong, in my book. This is not a moment to dwell in the space in one’s mind where woes collect in the dusty corners. This is a moment to truly assess all that one has to be grateful for. There is always a story with a happier seeming ending to yours, there is always an achievement just over the horizon to place one’s hopes in, there is always something missing… if one is set on viewing the world that way. But there are boundless small gratitudes for the taking if one can fix one’s gaze on the glow of the sun that rises and sets without fail each and every day, on the subtle changes as the earth pitches on its axis, on the myriad of ways humans are infinitely complex and frivolous creatures. There is so much within one’s self to explore–there are so many worlds accessible to you through books, movies, music, and your own imagination. There is no shortage of magic hidden inside of the folds of everyday life that it would be a savage mistake to sit healthily inside this global catastrophe and think only of the ways your poor silly self is suffering.

I think perhaps the patience I typically have for the understandable nuances of the human condition has dwindled as a cacophony of complaints echo throughout the collective consciousness. Can we not edge ourselves ever so slightly to a more elevated field of existence? Can we not see our species collectively under duress and think only of the ways we are inextricably tied to each other’s fates? Of then considering what contribution we have, spiritually, to this greater whole? Of shedding any notion that life is meant solely for our own consumption and amusement? That we are deserving of every joy only so that we may under-appreciate it, cast it aside, and insatiably demand the next?

The antidote to your suffering is gratitude. Gratitude does not diminish the very real problems in your life; gratitude does not demand that you grin and bear pain that exists in your mind or body; gratitude does not alleviate that which you may be ignoring. Gratitude simply shifts the balance of your perspective to one that is rooted in all that you have, and all that you are, rather than all that you are lacking.

Rest here, rest in this place of gratitude. Let this be your grounding, your starting and ending place each day, your salvation.

#lonlinesness #coronavirus #pandemic #introspection #nomi #nomileasure #millennial

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rpgmgames · 5 years ago

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February’s Featured Game: Ressurflection

DEVELOPER(S): charlottezxz ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: Fantasy, Cartoon, RPG WARNINGS: Paranoia, fear and tension, mild swearing and blood. SUMMARY: Ressurflection is a Fantasy/cartoon RPG set in the fictional universe of the Arbvar and taking center stage primarily at the coastal city of ‘Horizon Bluff’. Its story and game play are heavily character driven, with its narrative divided into two parallels told both within and outside the mirror itself. Ressurflection’s core themes draw from our inevitability of fearing death, and that at some point or another, we all must accept it, and to treasure what’s really important in the time that we have.

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *charlottezxz: Hiya this is Charlotte, lead game developer for Ressurflection! I’m some silly, overactive drawing monkey who works a lot with Narrow on Ressurflection! I’m always sketching and conceptualizing monster bois, taking a lot of inspiration from various games, primarily monster hunter! I’ve had avid interest in the Indie scene for a while now and a lot of the great friends I've made have been due to it and a lot of my recent favorite games have come from it! I would have had Narrow say a few things here but he’s hiding in a corner somewhere!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *charlottezxz: Ressurflection started out as what can be described as two separate stories. Myself and Narrow wrote our own stories and every so often we swapped over ideas or combined them together with each other. One day I said to ourselves ‘You know what? This could work quite well as a game rather than just a story’ so eventually Ressurflection was conceived, around the idea of a mythical mirror capable ‘Ressurflection’ the title of the game. We’ve gone through quite a few iterations of the story before it came to its current form and to be honest if we even showed or compared them side by side they’d be pretty unrecognizable as the same thing except for certain characters, locations and the mirror itself to identify its primordial form having any kind of ancestral relevance to how it is today. As for what Ressurflection is about, I think our synopsis can get that across quite nicely! ‘Horizon Bluff has always annually held its ‘Legend of the Wyvern Glass’ festivities. The Wyvern glass was a long lost mythical mirror, once fabled for its power of ‘Ressurflection’ and coveted by a kingdom now all but gone. That is quick to change however with the arrival of the Roulette Runner’s circus to the coastal city of Horizon Bluff. Trouble is soon to set in motion not just the kingdom’s sudden reappearance but the entrapment of one of their own acrobats within the mirror silver. Yet things are soon to worsen...with the spread of a purple ‘corruption’ across the city and the fact that our most unfortunate trouper is far from alone within the mirror, finding himself at the mercy of its ‘Mirror Maiden’. > The apparent all powerful manipulator of its realm…’

How long have you been working on your project? *charlottezxz: Conceptually we have been working on it for 4 years which is hard to even fathom, however that’s more tinkering around the idea for the story and conceiving it as we learnt the engine. The blog itself is hitting its 4th birthday in February! Ressuflection’s development went on as i attended university, so its always been a side lined hobby of ours.Steam says 108 days worth of hours in the engine and most of the game progress other than concepts has been done in 2019. So I could say 4 years for the ideas/stories and concepts and a year of that for actual game making!

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *charlottezxz: We each have our own inspirations, Lost Odyssey, Final Fantasy 9, Xenoblade Chronicles, Monster hunter and many older PSX titles such as Medievil, Tomba and Heart of darkness are great influences and inspirations to me personally. The dark, dangerous environments of Heart of darkness contrasted by some innocent characters, the monster designs in capcom’s franchise and the storytelling and themes with a cinematic approach to cut scenes found in some of FF9, Xenoblade and Lost odyssey, a lost game stuck in the recess of the xbox 360. There are many more but these spring to mind first and foremost. Narrow himself draws inspiration from games such as Earthbound, the Persona series and FF10!

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *charlottezxz: We started the project in VX ace to begin with, until MV released. It was in Ace that I experimented learning RPG maker and in the early days of MV too. Although before Ressurflection’s time i also dabbled a bit in XP. MV seemed more in line for what we wanted, as i really wanted to try animating beyond SV sheets and do more, with Java being a bit more flexible and the scope of it being able to allow dragon bones later. However it hasn’t been without its hiccups! Part of that is the sheer amount of time you underestimate games and certain elements to take in their development. That and everything that comes with it, streamlining, trimming the fat...in the past week alone i spent days optimizing pictures, sounds and music in the game to cut down the staggering file sizes they were. So far they have retained their form without being as costly on the MB! Since I do the vast majority of the game development myself, everything takes a lot longer to develop. You underestimate all the little things to consider and that you may need later. By the end of development, I hope to have the vast majority of the game consist of custom assets and be able to truly call it something that is ours. Though that path is long ahead we won’t stray too far from it.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *charlottezxz: The game itself has always been a story-driven RPG at its heart, although certain game mechanics have been scaled down or developed further from puzzles to battle flow. As mentioned previously, the story has changed considerably which changed the direction of the overall narrative and gameplay as a whole. Certain characters and scenarios have been culled completely too. At its start the story wasn’t as heartfelt nor was the scope of the story all that big - Oh and the game had a time limit, a bit like Majora’s Mask! But it is a lot more meaningful now and we hope that you will enjoy it when the time comes.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *charlottezxz: It has been just myself and Narrow for the majority of the development but we reached a point where we wanted to reach out to find a musician for our game. We eventually came across Geoff who has done the majority of our music up until recently. However we have had friends help and contribute along the way such as Harry helping sprite some NPCs for me, Bart helping formulate and do some math balancing, Vaijack has also contributed to music making him our second musical boi and more on the way, our preliminary demo testers( it would take a little to list them all) and more peeps i’ll be sure to credit!

What is the best part of developing a game? *charlottezxz: For me it has to be conceptualising all the little ideas we have and bringing them all into being. This is especially so for any monster and character bois! I spend a lot of time visualizing and planning the design of areas, locales and creatures. Would this thing live here? Why would it be this way? If this is a historical town wouldn’t it have x and x? Then when we ultimately put it together, and all the pieces of the puzzle line into place and then you can just...experience, the final thing, that for me is the best part in developing our game for me.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *charlottezxz: I learn best by doing, so more often than not I just dive into things, including the engine blind and tussle around with it. It’s a silly way of doing it, but I've often found myself learning more that way than following tutorials. Although in any game I've played, RPG maker or not, i do like to ponder and deconstruct scenes within them. The Witch's house, Pocket Mirror, Dreaming Mary, Mad fathers and Ib are all wonderful games that are great to learn from, dissect and understand what makes and made them tick. This applies across any game I've played or intend to play! I look at game making as one giant puzzle with lots of intricate little details that need to be solved, it’s more fun and engaging that way!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *charlottezxz: There’s some characters I like a great deal, but i can’t talk about as it would be spoilers to the plot, that and it’s hard to pick any overall favorites. Charm comes across as a fun character to write for as she’s quite witty and sarcastic, the kind of dialogue that comes a bit too naturally to me. She’s a budding magical prodigy of the circus under the tutelage of Jerine. She bigs herself up a lot but isn’t quite ready to deal with the problems of the adult world just yet, as much as she strives to get into it. Then there’s the likes of Ashley as well, she’s the loudest circus member and a close friend to Zakai, its ringmaster. She’s a super hard working down to earth country girl who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty and jump into the thick of things. Honestly I love all the cast, but there’s those two for now!

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *charlottezxz: I would say ideally we should have had all our ducks in a row before we dove into development. My development style is very messy, especially since when we started development we had a lot of learning ahead of us. That combined with focusing on a lot of coursework and real life things meant I often forgot how we made things for consistency. This has improved considerably since i started getting more organised now, keeping lists and things tabbed for reference. My desk has bits of paper kept with it with information I need to retain. I forget far too many things for my own good, but now I'm taking better count measures! I would advise anyone to keep tabs of important information about your game such as consistent sprite style sizes, resolution size, x and y positions of certain things and important variables and switches.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *charlottezxz: There’s a few ideas bounced about to do side stories for some of the cast of characters in the circus, such as before they became one and the origins of how certain members joined the circus essentially the ‘First Stringers’ and ‘Second stringers’, these being those that joined afterwards. These would be great to do as small little episodes added onto the game post development, but currently they are just ideas and won’t be given too much thought until the game is either done or close to fruition.

What do you most look forward to upon finishing the game? *charlottezxz: My most hopeful thought is for people to enjoy the game and have as much fun and interest in it as myself and Narrow have had in creating it. It’s the kind of game we want to make and hope that the characters and story chime with people enough for people to see the journey through to its end! It’s a big scope of a project but i have endless enthusiasm for it, no matter how long it takes it will get out there at some point!

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *charlottezxz: That the games story and overall feel doesn’t quite hit the right notes, it's always a little back concern. From a technical perspective I would say that the game might have some oversighted bugs or critical crashes that slip under the radar or not run as smoothly on other PCs on release. We will do our best to optimise the game as much as possible for MV and squash those pesky bugs during testing, but it is on our minds often as a niggling fear.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *charlottezxz: Gut everything from the base project that you know you most definitely will not be needing and give all your files smart tags and naming conventions. It would be great if MV allowed for sub folders, but it does not so naming your files smartly is key to finding what you need. Any of these files you know you will use often in certain ways, make them common events and call for those in events and cut scenes. This saves you mass editing them later. With naming conventions this could be Actor_1_Hurt or Chapter_1_NPC. Anything you want at the top of the list name it with _ to begin with. The bigger our project gets, the more important this has become for us and we hope it serves other inspiring devs well all the same.

Question from last month's featured dev @rojisroomrpg: How do you keep yourself happy and healthy when making your game? *charlottezxz: I’m normally a happy-go-lucky person, so I'm rarely not happy when working on Ressurflection. It's the happy little hobby I devote most of my spare time to. However, recently i would say my hands, wrists and neck have been hurting from spending a little too much time drawing assets and pieces for the game. Taking more breaks and spreading that time with other activities in between has helped to ease that pain and i would like to advise any dev to do so for their own health, including always having one or two bottles of juice, water or whatever beverage always at hand to sip at as you dev away!

We mods would like to thank charlottezxz for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Ressurflection if you haven’t already! See you next month!

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#ressurflection #gotm #game of the month #rpgmaker #rpg maker #rpg maker games #ressurflection game #gotm 2020 #2020 #february 2020 #february #indie games #games

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taronunwin · 5 years ago

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Can you rate everything that Taron has been in from your most fave to least fave? And giving your reasonings why for each eating. I know this might be hard to do since all of his work has been exceptional. I’m asking just because I need more Taron content to watch!

OH GOODNESS. Anon, this is a bit cruel, like making me pick my favourite children. Except I have no children. And I do not like children. I digress. I’ll do my best.

I haven’t seen most of the voice projects Taron’s done so I’ll just list what I have seen and I’ll rank it by things I love/need to watch vs. things I’m okay with watching less often, sort of thing. This is mostly spoiler free but there are a few things that dance on the line. I’m sorry, but it’s really hard not to explain what I love without getting into that territory.

Deep breath. Here goes.

1: Rocketman

When I watched Rocketman for the first time, it was one of the last of Taron’s films I had yet to see because I was the least interested in it. I wasn’t an Elton fan, I don’t care for musicals usually, and I’m not really keen on movies set in the 60′s. So there were three strikes against it and I honestly expected just to start it, click through, and move on because Taron didn’t look hot (I thought then). But by the time he got to the ‘My name is Elton Hercules John’, I was invested. Wholeheartedly. Even when Taron wasn’t on screen, I cared deeply for the young Elton. I was rooting for him, grieving with him, and feeling his pain and triumphs. That movie is an experience unlike any other and by far the best movie I have ever seen in my life. The pure joy that radiates from it… it’s hard to explain.

2: Kingsman: The Secret Service

I’m not a Bond fan myself, I’m not really an action spy genre fan, so, again, I didn’t really think I was going to love this movie. But when Lee Unwin jumped on that grenade, I sat up in my seat a bit. That wasn’t the beginning I expected. And then when his son showed up later, stuck in a life that was so miserable and far from what he wanted, my heart broke. Eggsy had so much depth and went so far beyond just a ‘kid from the wrong side of the tracks’ kind of backstory. The details about him being in gymnastics and giving it up because his mum had married a good-for-nothing creep who influenced him more than he wanted to admit, being borderline brilliant and doing so well in school, only to give that up, too, because what was the freaking point in even trying when he was stuck in a world he wanted desperately out of. And then, when that opportunity presented itself and he was able to join the Marines, the first time in his life he really felt like he had some control and could follow in his dad’s footsteps, his mum wouldn’t allow it because she couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. So Eggsy was utterly stuck. Until…

3: Robin Hood

Oh, Robin. I think we all have a very special soft spot for the first character we fell for in an actor’s filmography and Robin is it for me. I had seen Testament of Youth in early 2019 with my teary eye on Kit Harington but I loved Edward. However I had no idea that Robin was Edward when I started watching, I just like historical movies and thought Robin Hood looked interesting. When I started, I was pretty smitten by Rob right away but as the movie progressed and the story got more convoluted, I became less interested and actually turned it off. But I couldn’t stop thinking about Robin. So I started watching it again and boy did I fall hard. The movie itself? A stupid, fun, absolutely enjoyable ride. Robin? Well, that beautiful boy is the love of my life.

4: Billionaire Boys Club

I’ve seen a lot of negative things about this film, not just in regards to a certain cast members, but in general and frankly? I don’t get it. I know I’m probably watching it through rose-coloured glasses but honestly, I really, genuinely love this movie. I love Dean’s charisma and charm, how much he loved Joe and wanted the best for him—for both of them. I love Dean’s darkness and how his character gradually yet drastically changed over the course of the film; how he started as just a passionate, excited, enthusiastic young man and ended in such a different place, even willing to give up something and someone that meant so much to him because desperation drove him to do something he would have never imagined himself doing in the beginning. I loved watching the relationships fray and bonds dissolve and I especially loved watching Taron play Dean’s darkness so realistically, paying special attention to how he portrayed Dean’s growing drug addiction. Also? Dean is really hot. There’s no way of sugarcoating that.

5: Kingsman: The Golden Circle

I love Eggsy Unwin. I mean I love him. Like I-would-take-a-bullet-for-him kind of love. And though the charm of the first movie being his transformation from street kid to Kingsman isn’t really in this film, it’s still such a fun ride. My favourite parts are mostly the quieter moments, the little scenes where we see Eggsy, less as a Kingsman and more as himself. His struggles, his doubts, the times where he’s shaken and isn’t really sure of anything anymore. But what I love about Eggsy is how fiercely he gets back up every time. Doesn’t matter what is thrown at him, he will take it all and become stronger.

Also… “Let’s make this fair,” Eggsy says, tucking his right arm behind his back and effectively evening the playing field with his one-armed opponent before he engages in a to-the-death brawl with the man he trained with until snapping his neck with one. hand. still. tucked. behind. his. back.

6: Testament of Youth

I hate this movie so much. But I also love this movie so much. Edward is one of the sweetest angels there ever was and I adore him with every fiber of my body. And watching his story… well… it makes me more unhappy than I’ve ever been. Does that stop me from watching it? No. But it does limit the number of rewatches. It’s one of those movies that’s so perfect for a sad mood. Like when I need a good cry, oh my goodness, I need look no further. But looking beyond just the emotional nature of the movie, Taron’s performance is so so beautiful. Watching Edward’s boyish innocence peeling away to show the more hardened, deeply hurt and disillusioned young man as the war’s grip on him tightens? Honestly, it’s stunning.

7: The Last of the Haussmans

A play? Really? What’s that doing on this list? Well, let me tell you. Taron’s character, Daniel, affected me very deeply and I’m not even being silly. This list is already too long so I’ll spare the details but Daniel… he got me. He’s such a sweetheart, so genuine and pure and good and earnest and wonderful and the kiss scene, well, I don’t even know how many times I’ve watched it. The tenderness he displays, the sweet uncertainty and awkwardness yet visibly bolstering himself so he can do what he’s so unsure about… oh, Daniel. For it being one of his first public roles, I am consistently amazed by how good Taron is. Daniel’s awkwardness does not feel like Taron’s discomfort. Daniel is entirely his own person with his own story and struggles and watching his story unfold is a really lovely thing.

8: Eddie the Eagle

This sweet, fun, encouraging, uplifting, charming movie, oh, how I love it. Though I have to be honest, it isn’t one of those movies I just need to watch like every month or two. I love enjoying it with other people and seeing their reactions but it’s not one that I crave at any given time. Even still, Eddie is a pure sweetheart and I love him and his heart-filled, passion-fueled, wonderful story.

9: The Smoke

I’m actually kinda surprised where this landed on the list, but let me explain. Dennis Severs is so much like Eggsy in terms of being a very layered, three-dimensional, incredibly deep and fascinating character. I love him. Nay, I adore him. I loved watching his ups and downs, his gut-wrenching revelations and triumphant success as he strove hard to free himself of the bondage of his past. But the show itself? It’s, same as Eddie, not something I feel drawn to watch at any given time. It’s intense, very intense, and asides from Dennis’ story, I didn’t really connect with any character, other than Kev. So in terms of watchability and enjoyment of the project overall, this ranks lower, but in terms of Dennis and his importance to me? Well, he ranks much higher ❤

10: Legend

So the first time I checked out this movie, I skipped through, searching for Taron. Next time, I skipped through again. Then I bought the movie and actually watched it, and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Ignoring the obviously impressive feat that was Tom Hardy playing both main characters, I loved the relationship between Reggie and Frances and found myself caring quite a lot for them. I don’t know that I’ll ever watch it in full again but I do skip through every so often for Teddy and thoroughly that little psycho.

11: Sing

I’ve mentioned that I don’t really watch much of Taron’s voice work because I find it annoying to hear him but not be able to see him. That’s my ultimate problem with Sing. While a very enjoyable movie and one I’ve watched a few times all the way through, I don’t necessary care enough about the other characters to want to watch it from start to finish. I’m happy just skipping through for Johnny’s story, but there’s always that nagging feeling of knowing Taron is back there somewhere, looking breathtaking, and I can’t see him. And for that, I must place this sweet movie at the bottom of this list.

This honestly took hours for me to write and perfect but I think I’m good with it now. Phew!

I’m so sorry, anon, I’m absolutely certain you were looking for like two sentences to explain what I liked or didn’t like about each of these but instead you got a mini review. Whoops.

#Anonymous #Tracy's thoughts #Ask #Taron Egerton #If I got paid by the word...#No one signed up for this and I'm sorry #Believe it or not I tried to be brief

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dandeaix-oomph · 5 years ago

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two four six o fucking one

Ogata doesn't blink. "Only members of the production company are allowed."

"I was told I could come for a viewing."

"No," says Ogata, "you can't."

Koito hates this man. "I'll pay for everyone's supper," he bargains.

"No."

"I'll also get boba," Koito adds. Ogata still doesn't blink, but something has shifted in his eyes that convinces Koito he's on the right track. "I can get them right now, in fact. Or coffee too. Whatever. I'll get them if you'll let me in."

"The good boba?" Ogata clarifies. "The one near the ramen place? Not the one near the engineering campus?"

"The good boba," Koito promises, immediately pulling up the food delivery app on his phone. "So do we have a deal?"

"Buy a ticket for all three days of our showing and I'll consider it."

"Fine."

"Then deal." Ogata swipes his pass; the keycard reader pings and glows green. "After you."

Koito doesn't bother to thank him. He walks down the corridor. The backstage of their university theatre isn't big, and Koito has enough friends in the performing arts to know that most performers prefer to linger outside the hall or watch the rehearsals in the audience's seats. "Tsurumi is here today, right?"

"Obviously."

"Just to be sure," Koito supplies, "Tsukishima told me that sometimes Tsurumi leaves them to practise alone."

Ogata clicks his tongue impatiently. "Then shouldn't you ask before attempting to bribe me?"

"Hey! I'm not here for only Tsurumi!" That is only ninety percent of the reason. The other five is Tsukishima, and the rest is because Koito is bored. "So he's here?"

"Yes."

"Huh." Koito wonders if that means rehearsals are not going so well. He decides not to probe. "What's your role again? Tsukishima didn't mention much about this production."

In fact, Tsukishima has stared at him with such weariness when he brought up the topic that Koito decidedly aborts that line of conversation.

Ogata halts. He does not look impressed. "Do you even know that we're doing a musical this time?"

"I know that much," Koito huffs. "Les Misérables right?"

"Yes. I am playing Enjolras."

Koito double-takes. "You? Enjolras?"

"Yes, me. And Tsurumi is playing Javert. In case Tsukishima didn't -" At this point Ogata infuses a certain mockery into his tone, "- tell you. Again."

Koito hates hates hates Ogata Hyakunosuke. "Oh, he definitely did tell me that much," he sniffs, "as well as his schedule, and that he has casting problems."

"That's just some actors being unprofessional," Ogata dismisses. He pushes the door open. "Now head down the stairs and keep out of everyone's way."

"You don't need to tell me that," Koito grumbles, hastening down. The door to the hall opens and a burst of frigid air slaps him in the face. Someone's turned the air-conditioning too low again.

He picks a seat in the second row, near the aisle. Sugimoto is there too; from what Koito remembers, it’s because Kiroranke has to stay behind and can't drive Asirpa and Enonoka home.

But if outsiders aren't allowed, then couldn't Sugimoto wait outside too? He can pick them up after they are dismissed from rehearsals. That's what Tanigaki does, and he's dating Inkarmat -

Oh. Koito sees what's going on here. It seems Ogata is a little bitch who doesn't bother masking his favouritism.

Their theatre group have framed itself as a sort of service-oriented production, wherein their projects' ethos is to provide affordable yet quality theatre experience to the community.

The production team itself is mostly made up of members and alumni from their university's various theatre clubs. Some, like Tsurumi and Kiroranke, are past professional performers turned coaches, their careers punctuated with the occasional contract acting. Others are members of the public that volunteered, including some elderly and more importantly, at-risk teenagers who figured they like the familial solidarity of this production team.

Community theatre, Koito thinks. Has a good ring to it. At least, it certainly appeals to potential sponsors. Koito knows this. After all, Koito's family is one of their sponsors.

Tsurumi is on stage now, his voice loud and powerful, his tone angrier and angrier until it swallows up Kiroranke's firm baritone.

"Every man is born in sin," he sings, "every man must choose his way."

The light dances off the edges of his cheeks and the strong lines of his back; arresting, mesmerising. There is power in every gesture, power in every tremble of his voice, and the audience gapes awestruck at him, looking up in worship of this man, great as a deity.

(And Koito he, he can't look away.)

"I think this scene is pretty much done,” Kiroranke is saying. “You can stand to be a tad more hysterical, but this is good too."

"I'll keep it in mind." Tsurumi stretches his back. "We’ll skip Asirpa's scenes too, there’s not much issues there. Let's focus on what needs focus. Run through the previous scenes: the earlier one with Fantine's death isn't satisfying."

"Respectfully," Inkarmat cuts in. She has been sitting cross-legged at the end of the stage. "It is hard for either of us to express the sincerity of a scene that tragic when both of us hate each other."

"I don't care about that," Tsurumi dismisses. "You are both professional actors, so I expect you to act like ones. Sort it out."

"Excuse me," Tsukishima calls out from a seat near the back. Koito hasn't noticed him, and startles. "But this is the first time we've seen such genuine animosity on set. We are too close to the deadline to pin our hopes on them working this out."

"I can switch with Inkarmat," Igogusa offers, "if necessary. I did Fantine before."

"But I prefer Inkarmat's voice for Fantine's solo." Tsurumi shakes his head. "Never mind that, we'll proceed as is for now. Let's take a ten minutes water break, and we'll do Scene Nine Heart Full of Love after. Our syncing for it has been horrendous."

Here’s the thing: when he is a young boy, Koito watches Tsurumi act on stage, and falls in love.

For the next three days, he whines about wanting to go into acting to his family, but got bored on the fourth. So he makes it a point to keep tabs on Tsurumi’s acting career, and attends every show that is put up.

Then he grows up, goes to university, and decides that he wants to experience living on campus.

Koito has already been living alone, even if it is in a loft at a highrise that his family bought. It’s only a fifteen minutes drive from the university, and two hours away from the family mansion.

But to actually live in a college residence is a much different experience. His brother has told him stories about it, about how it can be a mess but also how it feels like something of a coming-of-age ritual. Koito is curious, so Koito applies for campus housing.

Three things happen.

Firstly: he ends up rooming with Tsukishima, a graduate student.

Secondly: he lasts six months.

Thirdly, and most importantly: he finds out that Tsukishima is in the same theatre production as Tsurumi.

The rest, as they say, is history.

Tsukishima does the sets, so even during the break, he looks distracted enough that Koito has to snap his fingers repeatedly by his ear before Tsukishima comes back into the moment. "Sorry, you were saying?"

"I got everyone some boba. From the stall near the hotpot place, not the one near engi'," Koito repeats, "but I got you your special order."

"Thank you," Tsukishima says as he accepts his drink, but the frown doesn't go away even as he sucks up the taro balls.

Koito folds his arms. "Hey," he begins, in a bid to distract, "Tsurumi pretty much call the shots huh?"

"He is technically our director." Tsukishima kneads between his eyes. “And producer. He’s split that role with me since he’s acting this time. Thankfully, we have Kiroranke and Inkarmat around, but they are feuding. I told Tsurumi that even though we are only a small independent production, we need to find more stagehands because of our choice of play - but no, it’s all casting and finding the right actors and making sure they live up to their potential -”

“Don’t say that,” Koito defends, “this gives you much more control on what goes on, right? Isn’t that good?”

“What makes you think the actors are not all obnoxious egomaniacs?” Tsukishima points out tiredly. “We have the same problems every year. I told him we should have done black box this year and expand from there, but Tsurumi has a vision.”

“Maybe if you delegate more -”

“I did.” Tsukishima covers his eyes with a palm. “Usami is frighteningly competent, although the Nikaidou twins could not be given any autonomy. Also, I was planning to promote Tamai to assistant stage manager, but he dropped out last week." He drinks his boba stressfully. “We almost borrowed some crew from the university, except Hijikata has made it clear that he is not loaning out anymore students from the drama club.”

Koito does not know enough about theatre production to make more comments. “What if I hire some professionals? I mean, my family is a sponsor.”

“Then this would not be an independent charity production anymore. But thanks.” Tsukishima finishes his drink. “Right, I think I need to go check on the techs. If anyone starts crying, I’m off to the gents.”

“Why would anyone - ” Koito tries, “Tsukishima? Hey, don’t run away. Tsukishima!” but Tsukishima has already slipped away.

Koito wanders back into the hall. Everyone tries to keep food off the stage, but Ienaga is munching on a doughnut while gesturing aggressively at the props, and no one is going to argue with Ienaga.

He turns towards the seats and - never mind, Sugimoto is fussing over the kids as Shiraishi shares some silly anecdote with them again, while Ogata - Ogata? - hangs his arms over the back of the seat adjacent to Sugimoto. Koito doesn’t understand what is going on. Koito doesn’t want to understand what is going on.

Then he sees Yuusaku standing by the fire exit and understands anyway.

(Frankly, Koito doesn’t understand what it’s like to hate his family. He loves his family. His brother is great and charismatic and his mother is affectionate and funny, and while there used to be some hostility with his father, that has passed after adolescence too.

But in the end, that’s none of his business.)

Koito hops up onto the stage in the end. He ignores Usami’s grin and heads straight for Edogai. “Hey,” he calls, “you do costumes, right?”

“Yes?” Edogai lowers his notebook. “Is there an issue?”

“I like what you did with Javert’s costume,” Koito tells him seriously, “it’s arresting.”

He spends the rest of the break discussing costumes edits until Tsurumi calls for them to clear the stage, get back to work now, and Koito returns to his seat.

Sugimoto turns to Koito. “Have you seen them rehearse this scene before?”

“No.” Koito leans forward. “Have you?”

“Yeah. Thing is, all three of them don’t have a strong enough presence to complement each other, so Tsurumi has been pretty unhappy about it. I tried coaching Umeko on her gestures to make up for her voice, but there’s only so much she can do.” Sugimoto pauses. “However, Yuusaku has been stepping up. Apparently Ogata gave him tips.”

“Ogata?” Koito is usually not this much of a gossip. “I thought he hates Yuusaku?”

“He does, but Tsurumi made him help Yuusaku.” Sugimoto chuckles. “He can’t say no to that, can he?”

That is devious. Koito knows there is a reason why he is so mesmerised by Tsurumi. “I bet he’s pissed.”

“Fluffed up like a cat,” Sugimoto agrees. “He -”

“Silence from the house, please,” Tsurumi announces, and Sugimoto immediately faces back towards the front. “Thank you. This is Koito’s first viewing; it won’t do if you keep distracting him, Sugimoto. Koito - apologies for not greeting you, I’ve been busy.”

He noticed me! He noticed! “No worries!” Koito shouts, feeling a little light-headed. Sugimoto shushes him.

Tsurumi smiles from the stage. Smiles at Koito, god, the brilliance of his smile, the soft curve of his lips - “Right then, let’s continue. We’ll run through the scene one time, and then repeat once more with music.”

Koito sinks back into his seat. He’s ready to combust.

Solemnly, Sugimoto reaches over to the box of unclaimed boba and passes a cup to him.

And then Umeko cries when Tsurumi yells too harshly at her.

Tsukishima makes eye contact with Koito from the stage. His eyes resemble that of a man who has walked in and out of hell.

Koito considers getting Tsukishima some vouchers for that spa he likes so much.

For dinner, Inkarmat volunteers to greet the delivery man.

“What’s going on?” Koito asks, and receives a round of sniggers.

“Tanigaki works the night shift for this eatery,” Ariko explains. Cikapasi nods fervently.

“Right,” Koito says slowly. “I see,” and mourns for his empty stomach. Sympathetically, Ariko passes him a bag of chips.

They get their dinner eventually. Tsurumi asks Koito on his opinions about the musical, you are our sponsor after all, did we meet your expectations?

Frankly, the musical can catch fire midway and implode in a fiery wreck for all Koito cares. The only thing that matters is that Tsurumi is involved. “Of course,” Koito answers excitedly, “it’s great!”

Tsurumi smiles again. “That’s good,” he says.

Koito feels like his heart is about to leap out of his chest and perform a pirouette.

Then they finish their dinner, dry-run one last time, and the kids have to go home. Practice grinds to a halt as Sugimoto waves his goodbye, gives Shiraishi a half-hug, and whisks the children away.

Koito fiddles with his phone, posting weird selfies on his InstaStory and Snapchat and snorts when people comment ridiculous answers on his guess where I am poll. He barely notices when Tsukishima sits down on the seat beside. “I imagine it must be pretty boring.”

“Hm?” Koito shrugs, putting his phone away. “I think it’s fine. All rehearsals have their boring parts. At least there’s drama.”

Tsukishima exhales deeply. “I don’t like this kind of drama.” His head lolls when he leans back, propping himself up by the elbows. "Will you be coming over again?"

"I don't know." Koito pouts. "Will Tsurumi want me here?"

"Well, you are a sponsor."

Koito lets out a long-suffering whine. "Then what can I do? I can't impose, no matter how much I want to see him!" He slumps against a seat, cheek resting on the back of his arm. “I just want to hop on his dick.”

“I know, Koito. I have known you for two years and five months.”

Koito eyes him. “You keep track of that?”

“It’s not hard,” Tsukishima dismisses, “I simply subtracted the months from the first day of the academic year when I was a graduate student.”

“Smart.”

“Not smart, just sensible.”

Koito makes a face. “Too practical. I don’t want to know whether I can come over, I want to know if Tsurumi will want me to come to rehearsals.”

“And like I said, he doesn’t not want you here,” Tsukishima returns, “but based on personal experience, I would advise against coming over too often. It gives everyone unnecessary stress.” He pauses. “The boba is good though.”

“I’ll get it again the next time I’m over.” As his mother always says, if they have the money to spare, then they might as well use it to cheer up other people.

(People-pleaser, his father has chastised lightly even as he hands over the month’s paycheck. This, Koito thinks, must be why Koito Heinojou decides to pursue a second major in social work.)

"You're not unwelcomed, Koito," Tsukishima emphasises. "I am glad that you're here to show your support. But when money is in the picture… you get it, don't you?"

"Yeah, don't sweat it." His wealth may have made him insensitive at times, but he isn’t stupid. Rich people are snakes, or at least surrounded by them; dealing with them and their assistants take a certain amount of astuteness. "I'll give you a heads-up a few days before I come over."

"Thank you, Koito. I really appreciate that."

Koito waves a hand. "It's no problem."

It takes five days.

Tsukishima frowns. "Didn't you say -"

"I forgot," Koito lies. In actuality, he has decided to pop by on a whim, and is further emboldened when he meets Inkarmat on the way up. "Anyway, Inkarmat says it's fine.”

“Sure she did,” Tsukishima counters dryly, “and did she tell you that Tsurumi would only be coming in later for an hour today?”

“What!” Koito doesn’t know that. “But he will be here?”

Tsukishima simply shakes his head. "If this is going to be a regular thing," he informs, "then you'd better make yourself useful."

Which is how Koito finds himself at the backstage, helping touch-up what little make-up has to be put on for characterisation purposes.

"Eponine's make-up," Inkarmat mutters, hovering over Igogusa, "must smear just right. She is a little rough around the edges, so her makeup must reveal that."

Koito carefully curls Igogusa's lashes. "This is stage-acting, not a film, you know? The audience will be watching for big movements. They won't be close enough to notice the details."

"Even if most of the audience won't see it, some of them can," Inkarmat chides, "and most importantly, as actors, we can feel the difference. So smear it carefully with your fingers - she wants to be a lady for Marius, but this isn't who she is, and deep down, she knows that too."

For a while, the only thing that can be heard is the white noise in the background. Then: "Inkarmat," Igogusa remarks softly, "you should be the one playing as Eponine."

Inkarmat shakes her head. "Tsurumi knows what he's doing," she declares. "Right, now I'm going to try and get into Fantine's headspace to see if her impressive kindness can tamper down my aggressiveness towards - you know. Catch you later." She turns to leave, only to pause to nod firmly at Koito. "Do your job."

"Of course!" Koito rubs the kohl onto Igogusa's eyelids. He'll give her the hottest smokey eyes that'll rival those beauty youtubers - which he knows for a fact that he can definitely accomplish, because he is added into their group chats and spends spa day with them.

"Koito," Igogusa says, later, when Koito decides to do her hair too because he fucking adores that volume, it has so much potential for elaborate hairstyles - "You are a very good friend to Tsukishima, aren't you?"

"Buh-what? I mean, I try." Koito contemplates this. "I feel like it's mostly Tsukishima being a good friend to me."

Igogusa laughs, light but throaty. "He does that," she agrees, "but that also shows that he cares. He only mothers the people he cares about. So if he cares about you…" Her face splits into a brilliant grin. "You must have been a good person. Thank you for being there for him."

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damn-daemon · 5 years ago

Text

Critical Mass Preview 2!

So because today was a crap day, I decided to do another preview because I deserve it.

@moonagedaydreamstuff Told you!

Comments and suggestions welcome!

Armitage Hux was always hit with a swell of anticipation whenever he had an audience with the Supreme Leader. He wouldn’t call the feeling nervousness – that would imply he had performed in such a poor fashion that it warranted fear – but there was always a modicum of unpredictability to the meetings that left him wary of any outcome. That unease always increased whenever Kylo Ren was present. The Supreme Leader’s lap dog was always chomping at the bit. His enjoyment of the chaotic always seemed to counter the First Order’s vision, but so long as he obeyed Snoke, Hux could hardly complain.

Well, he could, just not to the Supreme Leader.

Even though he was light years away, Hux could feel the Supreme Leader’s power pulsating in the room. He’d once witnessed him raise Kylo Ren’s lightsaber for a closer inspection, and he himself had only been a hologram projection at the time. It was that sort of power that made him confident to take on Kylo Ren’s far more contained abilities in person.

He entered the chamber slowly, precision in every step, hands tucked behind his back. Behind him, Hux had no doubt DV-7892 was doing the same. He could hear her footfalls echoing his, loud, confident, a soldier on parade. She performed well.

Kylo Ren was sitting on a small bench at the base of the projection, watching them carefully, his lightsaber in hand. Surrounding the room were four of his ‘knights.’ They were quiet, conspicuous things that always seemed one breath away from attempting to strike him down, but they straightened at his arrival, their weapons at the ready.

Hux heard the small click of DV-7892’s blaster safety.

Now that would be something to see.

They came to a halt at a respectable distance, the hologram of the Supreme Leader looming over them.

“General Hux, I have been told Knight Squadron has dealt with your little problem.”

He felt that smugness rise in him, casting a glance at Ren. “Yes, Supreme Leader, the nuisance has been dealt with. There should be no more interference with construction. The base will be completed on time.”

“Precisely as I foresaw. The Republic’s time in the light grows ever shorter,” Snoke replied, allowing himself a deep chuckle. “It seems that your little project is beginning to bear fruit.”

“Knight Squadron has become an elite force of no compare,” Hux said, taking a step forward. He eyed the knights against the walls, wondering if they understood the concept. They never spoke, and at times a distant part of his mind toyed with the idea that Kylo Ren had ripped their tongues out. “There is no target that they cannot eliminate; there is no system that is not within their reach. The Resistance, the Republic, all their hapless soldiers pale in comparison.”

Kylo Ren had snapped his head up. He looked ready to say something, but in the presence of the Supreme Leader, he kept his mouth closed.

“We shall see,” Snoke said slowly, stroking his chin. “Step forward, trooper.”

Hux stepped aside, allowing DV-7892 to pass. Like she had been instructed, there was no hesitance. Aside from himself, Supreme Leader Snoke was to be the only authority figure she obeyed. Kylo Ren would not get an inch from any member of Knight Squadron.

DV-7892 took a knee, swinging her blaster around so it would not make contact with the floor.

“So this is the commander of Knight Squadron. What is your designation?”

“Deevee Seven Eight Nine Two, Supreme Leader,” was her reply. Clipped, quick, no wavering in her voice.

“Rise, and come closer.”

The stormtrooper did as she was commanded, standing and stepping forward to the edge of the hologram. Kylo Ren was directly to her left, watching her.

The Supreme Leader did not appear satisfied.

“Closer.”

Though he was not given to such strange abilities, Hux could still feel a sudden change in the room, as if all the air had rushed out. DV-7892 was suddenly dragged forward by an invisible force, before being lifted upward, leaving her to float in the air, seemingly unassisted, at eye level with the hologram.

At first, DV-7892 struggled, no doubt overcome with an urge to fight off whatever had gripped her – it was how she had been trained after all – but quickly the trooper came to terms with the inevitable and let her body go slack.

The helmet lifted from her head, falling to the ground with a shattering crack.

“Such a fascinating specimen.”

“She is afraid.”

Hux turned to Kylo Ren, who had since stood and was watching her form float above them, silhouetted by the lights of the projection.

He dare interfere…

“Fear is necessary in all that we do, Kylo Ren,” Snoke chided, turning DV-7892 from side to side, observing. “Do not be so quick to dismiss it.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“Your trooper is indeed well-trained,” Snoke admitted, lowering DV-7892 slowly. “But I am forced to wonder if you have denied this unit their full potential.”

Halfway from the ground, the invisible force holding DV-7892 disappeared, dropping her. His trooper reacted in an instant, turning into the fall and rolling into a safe, seated position. From there, she returned to her kneeling position, breath heavier, but wordless.

“This unit is already more than capable of destroying our enemies. Any further abilities would be redundant.”

“Perhaps. They will have the opportunity to prove themselves soon enough,” Snoke said, glancing about the room. “Leave us.”

The soldiers all knew who was being addressed. Kylo Ren’s knights immediately made for the exit. DV-7892 rose from her position, moving to retrieve her helmet off the ground. When she stood, a sudden bolt of red crossed her path. Ren had activated his lightsaber and was holding it out before her, the chaotic nature of the thing sparking and hissing as it struggled to exist.

DV-7892 did not move. She did not look at Kylo Ren; she stared at the red of the saber, waiting.

He deactivated the weapon, allowing the stormtrooper to leave, her helmet tucked under her arm.

“The Resistance is growing in strength,” Snoke said as the door shut. “Every day they grow more confident of their abilities. Though they are nothing in the face of our order, they must be kept in check. Skywalker must be found.”

“The Knights of Ren have turned up nothing but rumor and superstition,” Hux noted, watching Kylo Ren step beside him before the Supreme Leader. “Allow my squadron to locate the general.”

“I may have given the barest praise to your little unit, but don’t mistake that for trust, General,” the Supreme Leader warned. “The Knights of Ren are tested and loyal. They will handle Luke Skywalker.”

The hologram faded, bathing the room in darkness.

“You put too much faith in your child troops,” Kylo Ren said as they exited the chamber. “My knights are far more powerful than your insignificant mind can imagine.”

“As I seem to recall, it was troopers who eliminated the Jedi Order,” Hux countered as they stepped into the hall. On one side stood the knights in their strange assortment of armor, each an individual, lacking in uniformity; on the other stood DV-7892, helmet still tucked under her arm, staring forward as she always did. “Perhaps you are the one with too much faith.”

Kylo Ren stared at him, a brief moment of attempted intimidation, but the ridiculousness of his helmet reduced the affect. He’d seen the face beneath the mask; he wasn’t impressed.

The knights walked away then, off to cause trouble in some distant part of the ship. Hux took the opposite route, listening as DV-7892’s steps fell into sync with his.

Knight Squadron was what Kylo Ren failed at: a true representation of the First Order. Loyal, efficient, the steady presence in the chaos. His knights would fail him again, he would fail the Supreme Leader again, and Hux would be there, waiting. When Snoke finally cast him aside, he would be there to succeed, and to prove that the silly notion of the Force was as archaic and ruined as the practitioners who had died defending it.

. . .

D’Qar

There were times that Leia regretted choosing this system.

Her staff agreed it was the best choice available: isolated, but not far from friendly space, uninhabited by any sentient species putting collateral at a minimum, and was relatively unheard of by most. Not to mention the climate was more than agreeable. She couldn’t imagine this group occupying a planet like Hoth.

It wasn’t that they weren’t capable – she trusted these men and women with her life – but they were young, eager, unaffected by this war for the most part. They did not know the Empire, or the kind of desperation that the Rebellion had been driven to while at the brink of annihilation. Hoth would seem cruel to them.

But when she looked across the lush landscape that served as a temporary home to the Resistance, Leia could not help but feel a pang of familiarity. There were no looming, ancient towers of a long forgotten race, yet at times, Leia felt as if she was back on Yavin 4. There were days she could have sworn she heard Chewbacca calling down the halls, or Luke chiding R2-D2.

Or Han…

Even Poe Dameron, who had been raised on Yavin 4, often spoke of the similarity between the two worlds. Sometimes, he said, he found himself looking for his old home, but only on the long days, the kind when he’d logged too many hours in the cockpit rather than his bed. They all seemed to be doing that as of late.

There was a terrifying repetition to it all. A nameless evil on the rise, a Republic too weak or unwilling to stop it, and her family caught in the middle of it all.

What was the point? she would find herself asking, late at night when the mantle of general came off and she was just Leia again. What was the purpose of losing so much just to find themselves here again?

That was when she felt the most vulnerable, a young princess again, who had just watched her world – and everyone she loved – disappear into the void of space.

But there were good times, worthwhile moments, years that warmed her, when she had a husband and a son that she loved beyond words, a brother she could rely on, a family again.

And despite the pain it caused her now, Leia would give up those moments for nothing.

The sound of someone climbing caught her attention.

A patch of curly, dark hair appeared from the hatch beside her, entering the lookout tower. It seemed she wasn’t the only one who took solace in this particular spot.

“No need to tell the guard to take a break, Commander Dameron,” Leia remarked as the wide-eyed pilot noticed her presence. “Seems I’ve already taken care of that for you.”

He was still in his flight suit, a bright orange beacon against a sea of green. Black Squadron would have just come back from Lothal, chasing old rumors. No one had sent her a message regarding their return, so she assumed there was nothing more to say about it. Fruitless leads seemed to be the only thing they chased these days.

Poe smiled briefly. “So I’ve been found out.”

“No,” Leia replied with a shake of her head. “You’re just not the only one who can appreciate the view.”

And it was a stunning one.

The base itself – first constructed at the tail end of the Galactic Civil War – rested in the valley of a small mountain range, the peaks jutting toward the near constant cloudy atmosphere, the trees at the summits almost always covered in mist. When the sun set in the evening, the sight was always something to behold as the last light of the day refracted off the fog, giving the area an otherworldly glow. That was the view they found themselves taking in now.

A local bird flew by in the distance, casting a long shadow across the land.

“I used to love nights like this back home,” Poe said, sounding wistful as he leaned against one of the tower walls and crossed his arms. “I’d sneak over to the old ruins and mess with the derelict equipment left behind, pretend I was General Dameron of the Rebellion.”

He chuckled softly. “It wasn’t so far off from the real thing. You were still there, telling me what to do.”

Leia sighed, allowing herself a moment to relax. “When I was twelve, there was a festival being held in Aldera. I may have lost the privilege to attend the event, and I was very sour about the whole thing.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Poe watching her carefully, a small smile growing on his face. She couldn’t remember the last time she had spoken about home. It certainly hadn’t been to anyone outside her small family, but the young pilot reminded her of so many in her life. He was a good kid, if a little brash, though hadn’t they all been that way at some point?

“The night was warm, just like this one, and I could hear the sounds of music and laughter drift all the way up to my balcony, which was actually very impressive given how high my room was. I moaned about it for hours until my friend, Winter, finally gave in.

“You see, we were the same age, and nearly identical. All it took was a well-placed headdress and I was off to the festival, while Winter pretended I had fallen ill.

“We got caught, of course, but it was an exhilarating twenty minutes.”

Poe began to laugh at that, shaking his head. That was the thing about every newer generation: they never believed that the one before was capable of doing anything they did. Perhaps it was better that way, but Leia didn’t mind letting a story or two slip on occasion. Sometimes, she simply needed it.

Besides, she hadn’t thought of Winter in…so long.

How she missed her.

It fell silent for a time. Together, they watched the sun dip below the horizon.

“We didn’t find anything, General.”

Leia sighed. “I know.”

“That’s not to say that there isn’t anything to be found. Luke Skywalker is out there, and we’ll-”

“It’s okay, Poe,” she replied, laying a hand on his shoulder. If there was one thing Poe had plenty to spare, it was passion, and while it was good at a time like this, she also worried for him. The highest heights meant the most dangerous of falls, and she had seen many a person broken over the years. “I know we’ll find him.”

The pilot nodded once, returning his gaze to the landscape. It grew dark quickly, with a few lights from their distant outposts peeking through the trees. She smelled rain on the wind.

Sometimes, in the calm like this, Leia thought she could feel something. Luke always tried to teach her the ways of the Force, but that hadn’t been for her. Between reestablishing a Republic and motherhood, she’d had enough on her plate to balance, but even so, she had become aware of something…different. She had been acutely aware of her son’s emotions as he grew up – which had been as advantageous as it was detrimental – and could always tell when Luke was nearby. Han had been a bit more difficult – a characteristic he had been immensely proud of – but sometimes, she could feel him just as well.

But not now, she thought. She would reach out with whatever it was, and only feel emptiness on the other side.

“Things are about to change,” Leia said aloud, briefly forgetting that she wasn’t alone.

“Is that the Force everyone always talks about?” Poe asked.

“No. Experience.”

#also trying to make Hux less...well Hux #not much Demo here #but Leia makes everything better #critical mass #demo

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letterboxd · 5 years ago

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Murder, He Wrote.

“They say casting is 90 percent of directing and it was really true in this case.” Knives Out writer and director Rian Johnson tells us about the intricacies of whodunits, the joys of over-analyzing movies, and—yes—Star Wars.

From Hercule Poirot’s debut in an Agatha Christie novel in 1920, to the hard-boiled detectives of the 1930s, to the Pink Panther comedies, the whodunit was a perennially popular film genre—until its decline in the 1980s, when true-crime re-enactments took over. But, with Knives Out, writer/director Rian Johnson (Looper, Star Wars: The Last Jedi) is on a mission to reaffirm the whodunit’s rightful place on the big screen—and casually reinvent the form while he’s at it.

Knives Out has a gobsmacking ensemble, with Christopher Plummer (as writer Harlan Thrombey, the victim), Ana de Armas (as Marta, Thrombey’s nurse and confidant), Daniel Craig (as Benoit Blanc, the famous private detective who shows up to query Thrombey’s apparent suicide), and Lakeith Stanfield (as the investigating Lieutenant Elliott). Making up Thrombey’s extended, entitled family are Jamie Lee Curtis, Don Johnson, Chris Evans, Michael Shannon, Toni Collette, Riki Lindhome, K Callan, Katherine Langford and Jaeden Martell—all well fed by his wealth and determined to protect their piece of it.

It’s a Rian Johnson movie, so Noah Segan shows up as well, in perhaps his meatiest role yet, as a cop working with Stanfield. There’s also a delightful cameo from Frank Oz.

Rian Johnson directs Ana de Armas on the set of ‘Knives Out’.

Despite the lack of big-screen whodunits of late, there’s no shortage of audience enthusiasm for them, as evidenced by our ‘Murder Mystery’ Showdown, a great starting point for anyone looking to delve into the genre. Letterboxd members who have already seen Knives Out are very much enjoying what they see, with the film boasting a giant 4.2 average rating (at time of writing).

This is one of those films where you can just tell how much fun the cast is having, an aspect that Letterboxd member Wes nails in his review: “I’d really, really, really like to believe that Rian Johnson gathered all these actors in this giant house, hid some cameras everywhere, hit record, and none of what we saw was fictitious.”

Demi Adejuyigbe writes—in his charming Letterboxd review of the time he lunched with Johnson (!)—that the film is “absofuckinglutely phenomenal”. He marvels at how Knives Out stays one step ahead of what we expect from a whodunit: “How do you fool an audience that has come to be fooled? Johnson is so deftly able to get that joyful, wondrous reaction out of me by expertly controlling every aspect of the script and the direction in a way that makes it clear he sees the entire process as a symphony that he’s conducting, where the audience is just another instrument being played.”

Or perhaps Patrick Willems best encapsulates the joys of the film when he writes that Knives Out is “a movie as good as its sweaters (the sweaters are excellent)”. (The most popular sweater has its own story, here.)

When we got in a room with Rian Johnson recently, we naturally wanted to learn how he juggled such an impressive ensemble whilst navigating the twists, turns, and more twists of Knives Out’s plot.

Chris Evans and Ana de Armas wearing sweaters, Rian Johnson not wearing a sweater, on the set of ‘Knives Out’.

You’ve often talked about your lifelong love of the whodunit genre. How did you go about making your own? Rian Johnson: It’s very interesting, the whodunit genre. It’s one of my favorite genres. I love all the things about it. I also kind of agree with Hitchcock. Hitchcock hated the whodunit genre. To Hitchcock, the danger of the whodunit is: it’s a lot of build-up for one big surprise at the end, and that’s not very satisfying or fun. That’s why he was all about suspense. He would give the audience information early and then you’re in suspense and not just crime-solving. He would also mislead the audience, so you’d think you’re getting all the information early. And enough so that you’re leaning forward, you’re not sitting back. That’s Hitchcock’s whole deal.

So for me, what was interesting is: can I put the engine of a Hitchcock thriller in the middle of a whodunit? Have a whodunit that then turns into a Hitchcock thriller that turns back into a whodunit? That was kind of the starting point for me, from a genre-wonk point of view.

So then I started filling out, okay what would that actually mean? I’m talking around it because I don’t wanna spoil anything, but, okay if we did this and then that could be interesting. And then I started zooming in bit by bit and filling out what characters I would need for what plot points. All the details come later but it’s as ‘big picture’ as that.

Jamie Lee Curtis, Christopher Plummer, Don Johnson and Michael Shannon in ‘Knives Out’.

Were there ever any alternative outcomes in play? Not really, because I didn’t really work, like, “if this happens, then that happens, then that happens”. I worked it like a satellite map. I zoomed back. I work in little notebooks and I have to draw one line and see the entire plot along that line. So it’s not like a game of Clue where I can pick out different solutions at the end; it’s kind of set because the shape of the whole thing determines a different kind of ending from the very inception of it.

Watching this, I thought about your film The Brothers Bloom, as that’s another ode to a somewhat specific genre—the con-artist film—in which your affection for that kind of film was also evident. How challenging is it to write and shoot films in genres you grew up loving? Any time I’m attacking a genre it’s because I deeply, deeply love it. The heart of it for me is always trying to distill the thing I love about it and set that as the goal-post and then find my own way to it. Whether it’s the con-man movie with The Brothers Bloom, or Star Wars as a genre, or this, it’s always about trying to get to the heart of what I love about something and then trying to put that on the screen so the audience will have as pure an experience of it as possible. And sometimes to give the audience the purest experience, you have to shake it a little bit, because… we’ve seen so many versions of it over the years that the audience can kind of ignore it. So sometimes you have to put it in a different context, like with Brick, with film noir or something. But the intent is always to give the audience the most sharp and vivid experience of what’s at the heart of it for me.

This film is a blockbuster of chemistry. Was it difficult to cast? Once we got Daniel on board, no. Once he was the centerpiece, I think everyone wants to work with him so it was like a snowball. Because then we got Michael Shannon, and everyone wants to work with him. And Lakeith Stanfield. So, no, the cast came together very, very quickly, just like everything else in this project. With these actors, my job is easy. They show up on set, they clicked in so easily. They’re such pros. They say casting is 90 percent of directing and it was really true in this case.

Lakeith Stanfield, Noah Segan and Daniel Craig in ‘Knives Out’.

Speaking of Daniel Craig, his character is a microcosm of the film in that he is not in any way like any detective that has come before, yet you cannot help but think of precedents. Were you consciously trying to make him unlike Hercule Poirot? When I started writing, I actually kinda got myself in trouble because I was thinking too much about Poirot. I love Poirot so much and I think I was thinking too much like: how do I make my Poirot? And so I started doing all this sort of quirky stuff, and throwing all these quirks in there, like maybe he has an eye patch and a peg leg maybe. It was just silly. And so finally I said “this is so stupid”, and I pulled all that stuff and I just said: “I’m gonna write this character very straightforward. The way that he needs to be for the script. And I’m gonna give him a Southern accent, because then he’s a fish out of water in New England. And then whoever I cast, I’m gonna believe that they’re gonna inhabit that character in such a way that he’ll be unique.”

I think what Daniel found—that is exactly what is at the heart of Poirot—is Daniel found kind of what’s funny about the character. Beyond the accent. He found the self-inflated, clownish aspect of him, while still maintaining a humanity and an intelligence, which is really what Poirot is. It’s why Peter Ustinov is my favorite Poirot—he gets what’s funny about the character. And like Columbo or like Miss Marple or any of the great fictional detectives, it’s that element that makes you not quite take him seriously until it’s too late and they’ve solved the whole case. I think that’s what Daniel keyed into more than anything else.

This feels like a film that people are going to pore over the details of, as they did with Looper. I love it because that’s part of what I love about those kinds of movies. First of all, let’s separate them, because with time-travel movies, the notion that a time-travel movie can make sense is absolute nonsense. So time travel is much more like the spells in Harry Potter than science, and anyone who thinks otherwise is fooling themselves. Except maybe Shane Carruth. Shane is the one person who can actually figure out time travel. Everyone else, it’s kind of like a fantasy element more than anything else.

Ana de Armas in ‘Knives Out’.

So with Looper, I felt like I had to have it make narrative sense, but I didn’t feel the pressure of it having to work in every little detail, because it can’t. Whereas, it’s a little different with a whodunit because every screw has to be tightened and I can’t leave any loose ends. I do want people to be able to re-watch and dig in. But I’ll be a little more sad if they find things that don’t make sense. I’m sure they will, but it’ll actually make me a little sad if they do, because I’ll be like: “I messed up there”.

How do you feel about your films being subjected to that kind of scrutiny? I think it’s fun! That’s the thing: for a certain kind of moviegoer, that’s the pleasure you get—it’s almost like the kid who if you hand them a radio, you’re gonna wanna take it apart. If that’s what someone loves about watching a movie then I think that’s fantastic. I’ve done that with certain films. I’ve watched them over and over and tried to analyze, so I get [that] that’s part of the pleasure of it.

How are you feeling about your Star Wars experience? As a filmmaker, as a Star Wars lover, it was the best experience of my life. Everything about it. Writing it. Making it. The people I got to meet. The places I got to go. The experience I had putting it out. The last two years interacting with the fans has been so rewarding and so fantastic.

I feel like I always have to say that the bad part of that gets written about a lot because it’s interesting to write about. From being in the middle of the hurricane, I can tell you that 95 percent of my interactions with fans are absolutely lovely. That’s not to say they all even like the movie—some of them don’t, or some of them have issues with the film—but they’re all engaged and respectful and so deeply engaged in it in a way that when you make movies you only dream that people will engage with something that you made on that level. So no, for me, the whole thing top-to-bottom has been the most beautiful experience I can possibly imagine.

Rian Johnson directs Joonas Suotamo on the set of ‘Star Wars: The Last Jedi’.

Something that I know in my bones from being a Star Wars fan since I was five years old: everybody has a slightly different version of what Star Wars is to them, absolutely. That’s why I’m excited that stuff like [new Disney+ series] The Mandalorian can exist. The more Star Wars stuff we make, the more there’s gonna be a spectrum that gives different people the things that they want. But we also have to recognize that nothing is gonna give everybody what they want, and somebody is always gonna be upset.

What George Lucas did originally was make a movie that was straight from his heart, and expressed exactly what this world was to him. And expressed emotional truths in this world in a way that was resonant for him personally. I feel that every filmmaker who comes to Star Wars, that’s their job. Their job is not to take a survey and to see what is going to have the broadest demographic appeal. Their job is to speak from their heart and make a thing that resonates with what Star Wars is for them. And I think the more diverse filmmakers we have doing that, the more diverse Star Wars movies we’ll have, the more people will hopefully be happy and the less yelling there’ll be all around.

‘Knives Out’ is now in theaters. Comments have been edited for clarity and length. With thanks to Studiocanal.

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