#every other piece was like. thousands of dollars
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
DAD AND DOLLARS -p.js-
pairingâ dad!jay x money struggling fem!reader
synopsis: The hot rich dad next door needs a babysitter? Sign you up.
genre: smut minors do not interact, dilf au, slight age gap (jay is in mid 20s while reader is in early 20s), p with plot, p with feelings
wc: 12.9k
-all warnings below cut-
warnings: slight jealously, profanity, kissing, alcohol consumption
smut warnings: unprotected sex (just donât that), p in v, praising, dirty talk, oral (fem rec.), fingering, squirting, breeding kink, creampies, usage of nicknames (doll, good girl, sir)
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You looked dead center at your laptop to see the ridiculous total number summed up. Over thousands of dollars of student debt is yet to be paid off and youâre not even halfway done.
You closed your computer shut because if it was out of sight it was out of mind, at least for the time being. You sighed, rubbing your temple hoping to soothe the ache forming but the sudden loud beeping of a truck backing up disrupted your train of thought.
The annoying blaring sound only worsened your headache that it felt like it was going to explode any second. Your eye twitched, you were already running on 2 hours of sleep, you hoped to at least get some sleep in before working until late in the night.
Standing up from your table, you walked over to the small window that allowed just enough space to see outside but your eyes narrowed seeing someoneâs back quite literally blocking your view. You quietly mumbled under your breath before wacking open your door.
You currently were in no mood to deal with any solisticing today.
âLook-â You began but quickly stopped when you see the scene before you, a manâa hot man at that, not much older than you or at least you assumed carrying a little girl who resembles him
His hair perfectly combed back showing off his forehead and neatly done undercut with his sharp jawline that looks like it could quite literally cut you in half, a nose bridge all tall and mighty as he wore a simplistic nude pink button up that managed to make your knees weak.
Not a lot of people canât pull that color off but he sure as hell can.
What stood out to you the most was the jewelry that shone in the sunlight blinding you. Just from the mere pieces of jewelry alone, you could practically feel the success flowing through and out of him.
The jewelry the little girl wore outcompeted each and every single one you could ever own. And yet, that wasnât enough to make you peel your eyes away. You hadnât realized how long youâve been staring until the said little girl pointed it out.
Embarrassed, you finally looked away and the mysterious man cleared his throat. âAh, if you'll excuse my daughterâ
Wait what. Daughter?!
You held yourself back from dropping your jaw. Even though you were assuming he wasnât much older than you, he already has a daughter, a young one at that and youâre over here stressing over student debt. What stressful time you must be having.
âWeâve been up since this morning moving in, so she is a little antsy. Please do forgive us for disrupting youâ
Anyone would be if theyâve been up since morning to mo- Wait Moving in?
It mustâve shown on your face because the male in front of you lightly chuckled but it wasnât like the usual chuckles that you hear from other guys. It was rather deeper, more mellow and rumbled out of him and it twisted your insides out.
âWeâve just moved in next doorâ He adjusted his daughter into one arm hoisting her up with ease while his free hand extended a hand to shake with yours, âPleasure to meet you, Iâm Park Jongseongâ
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
Another exhausting day, another terrible pay.
Youâre genuinely wondering how youâre going to manage to just make it by this upcoming month without falling into a hole and never coming out of it.
Your current job isnât nearly enough to cover all your expenses in the slightest but thereâs such a shortage of job opportunities that youâre stuck there until some miracle falls into your lap and presents you with all the answers to your prayers.
Rubbing your shoulders, you twist your head side to side to feel the crack of your neck relieving you from the tension in it but thatâs when you hear the deep faint voice thatâs been taunting your mind ever since youâve heard it.
Before you could even prepare yourself or more like jam your keys into the lock to rush in before getting caught you hear the small greeting for you, âHi miss!â You nervously gulp before turning around replacing your mumbled breath with a sweet smile towards the little girl holding her dadâs index finger with her small hand
âWell hi there!â You cheerily returned her greet with a fast wave, your eyes remained trained on her not daring to look up to her father hoping there would be no interaction between but the universe was not in your favor today
âComing back after a long day?â His voice filled your mind again and you held back a nervous smile not trusting yourself to speak only left you to nod at his words
Your eyes rose higher until you caught him and he gave a tight smile and you swore your heart mightâve exploded right then and there. It was something so simple yet it had your mind reeling.
You awkwardly touched your neck making it seem like it was sore when in reality you were making sure you still had a pulse.
âSay goodbye honey, sheâs had a long day at work. Iâm sure she needs some restâ Jay softly spoke to his daughter who looked up to your shaky eyes and raised her hand to wave goodbye to you
Your heart melted as you happily waved goodbye to her.
Too caught up in the moment, you seemed to have forgotten the very man you were successfully ignoring for those few seconds his daughter had your attention, âMake sure to rest wellâ
Before you could register the words, they were already walking past you in hushed whispers. Your mouth hung open trying to figure out a response that didnât embarrass you.
âThank you Jongseong. Same to youâ You opted to say through the few second turmoil and when he turned around hearing your voice, itâs corny to admit but it was like slow motion
Everything seemed to be forgotten about as you were solely focused on him. The earrings that hung from his ears, his folded up sleeves exposing his forearm and watch until you saw his beautiful smile. A warm genuine smile.
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
âWoah- Hold on. You mean to tell me that good looking man I saw on my way here was your neighbor?!â Your friend shrieked once you broke the news to her
Supposed to be an important study session for your upcoming exam somehow turned into a 3 hour talking session, laptops and papers discarded.
You groan at your friend's words, hate having to be reminded that he was indeed your neighbor. So close yet so far from you.
âHe dresses so damn good, looks like he has a lot ofâ Your friend rubbed her fingers together with raised eyebrows making you roll your eyes, âPlus I saw him with his little sister, heâs such a good brotherâ
âThatâs his daughterâ You unconsciously said and you didnât realize until you took notice of the silence from your friend who stared at you like she had just seen a ghost
âYou mean to tell me that was his daughter with him..?â You nodded your head and your friend nearly fell off of her chair at the sudden revelation, âHoly shit⊠Youâre living next door to a dilf!â Your friend screech as she stumbled in her seat over to you
You jumped when she clasped your hands into hers, hopeful eyes staring directly into you with a certain mischievous gleam you knew far too well.
âSo when are you getting on that?â Your friend raised an eyebrow and you shot her a confused look
âGetting on what?â
Your friend had to take a minute or so to just look at you in amusement but not in a good way.
âYou mean to tell me you havenât even thought about getting together with him ever since you saw him?!â
You yanked your hands away before lightly pushing her away shaking your head. âHeâs either married or at least seeing someoneâ You said trying to make it believable for yourself more than for herâbut you always noticed the lack of band on his ring finger every time you saw him or any sign of anyone else living with him besides his daughter
âI didnât see any ring on his fingerâ Your friend shrugged her shoulders, tilting her head to the side
So he must be seeing someone. Because thereâs no way that he is single and roaming the streets just like that.
You quickly went to grab your discarded laptop to move on from the topic. This was enough talking for today about your undeniably hot neighbor who just so happened to be a dad.
Your friend suddenly slammed your laptop shut. âWhat are you doing?â You asked but saw her finger pointed directly towards you
âNo bigger question is what are you doingâ Emphasizing the you in her sentence
You stared at her dumbfounded, making her groan in annoyance.
âWhen was the last time you went on a date?â You opened your mouth to respond, âI mean an actual dateâ You closed your mouth right up
âExactly! Itâs been so long since youâve been treated, why not indulge in this nonsense just a littleâ She squished her thumb and index finger together showing basically no space in between them
âIn case you forgot, Iâm a broke student trying to get by till the end of this month. I donât have ti-â
âYeah yeah I know. You donât have time. You donât have the money. You donât have new or fancy clothesâ Your friend cited the same excuses youâve given to excuse yourself from anything thrown your way, âBut donât let it stop you this time. I have a good feeling about this oneâ She softly hummed with a soft smile hoping you take her words truthfully
âHeâs most definitely seeing someoneâ You softly muttered
âAnd if heâs not?â
The question made you think. Even if there was the slimmest chance that he was in fact single and was not seeing anyone, why would he look your way? You donât have much to offer.
âHeâs a dadâ You reminded but her soft smile dropped into something more menacing
âWell thatâs just the cherry on top, no?â
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
âWhat would I do with you?â Your friend chimed, wrapping your sweater over her, it was well past midnight and you finally concluded your study session after all this time and you couldnât wait to fall asleep
âYouâd be walking yourself out in the freezing coldâ She chuckled at your response knowing it was the truth but she happily skipped ahead but stopped in her tracks raising and hand up to stop you
Before you could ask anything, she pulled your arm to where she is and thatâs where you see Jay. His little girl fast asleep in his arms, her puffy cheeks squishing against his broad shoulder as he carefully closed the door shut wanting to make as minimal noise as possible.
He locked the car and stuffed his keys into his trench coat and right when he turned he caught sight of you and your friend looking, he furrowed his eyebrows immediately noticing how you werenât wearing a sweater even though you were clearly cold from the shiver you let out.
Instantly you gave a quick smile to him not sure why he furrowed his eyebrows towards you but he kindly returned your smile with his own before walking past you and your friend still making sure his daughter was still fast asleep.
As he walked past you caught a whiff of his musk cologne and you wholeheartedly wanted to delve straight into it. It made your head woozy, it wasnât strong enough that it was overbearing but it was strong just enough that made sure his presence was embroidered into your mind even when he was long gone.
âOhâ You heard your friend murmur and you turned to look at her dazed expression staring at where he once stood at the side of his car, âYou actually got a double D living next doorâ
âDouble what?â Pure confusion written over your face and she rolled her eyes as if it was the most known thing in the whole wide world
âHello, a double D! A father who has money. Dad and dollars!â
Youâve just had a revelation.
âYou my friend have a hot and rich double D living next door to youâ
âYouâre unbearableâ You scoffed but you gasped when she lightly hit you
âThatâs youâ
âBut I am being so serious right now, you better get on that man before I doâ Before you could retaliate her sentence you heard faint shuffling coming towards your direction and to your surprise, you turned to see Jay coming back minus his daughter
âOhâ He stopped in his tracks seeing you and your friend, âYouâre still here?â It easily could be mistaken as a harsh slap to the face but his tone was soft and gentle that there was nothing to it besides true curiosity
You opened your mouth praying that something coherent would come out but your friend knew better than to trust you and let you figure it out on your own. Especially when he was right there.
âShe was just being such a kind friend and walking me outâ Your friend softly patted your back and you mentally cursed at how cold her hands were against your thin covered back
âWhat about you? Coming out again?â Your friend tilted her head and you had to hold yourself back from dragging her away
âHave to bring the grocery upâ Jay lightly waved the car keys before unlocking his car as the trunk slowly opened
âWe can help you!â Your friend suddenly chimed in and you felt all color drain from your face, you just werenât sure if it was from the cold finally getting to your numb face or how he stops walking and turns around
âYou want to help?â He raised an eyebrow and your friend eagerly nodded and threaded closer to him, when his eyes moved from her onto you wanting to see if you were coming along you remained frozen in place
All the time you were merely in his presence, your body shut down on you as you became just a hollow vessel. He expected a responseâany response from you but when he was received with nothing his lips formed a thin line and nodded his head.
âW-wait of course sheâs going to helpâ Your friend awkwardly chuckled before walking back over to you, âIt must be the cold getting to her. Silly her for not wearing a sweaterâ
You came back to your senses when your friend smacked your arm and you winced feeling how your spiky skin was far more sensitive to touch from how long youâve been out there.
Yet, you didnât have any chance to collect yourself as she dragged you with her in front of him as she gleamed with a smile. He blinked at the sudden appearance of you in front of him while you gulped harshly trying to keep your thoughts sane.
Even up close, your eyes looked over his face, never able to settle on a single feature until you landed on the slightly chapped lips but moved your eyes up to catch his eyes. Under dim lighting he looked phenomenal.
âAlright letâs get those groceriesâ Your friend peeped
You looked away from him down to the ground before softly nodding your head. You were going to help gather some bags but you stopped when you felt a weight place around your shoulder. You looked down to see the trench coat over your body.
Turning to face Jay, he gave a gentle nod. âYou need it way more than meâ His voice rumbled throughout your mind earning the gears to shift inside you by his voice and gesture alone
His eyes examined you in his coat before softly smiling to himself at his thoughts, âNext time make sure to bundle up before going out. You can catch a cold easilyâ
The cold that was once lived in your body faded away into pure warmth and it was all thanks to your neighbor living next door.
It hadnât taken long until all the groceries were brought into his place in one trip. Your friend huffed, shaking her head as if she had run a marathon.
You softly chuckled at her state and softly padded her back to help regulate her breathing again. Underestimating her energy after hours of studying finally caught up to her.
âWho⊠Goes grocery shopping at this time?â Your friend pants
âI guess thatâll be meâ Jay chuckles earning a curious look from you which he catches, âThereâs not enough time in the day that allows me to properly shop and get everything I need, especially when Iâm with my daughterâ
âSounds like you need a babysitter-â Your friend starts but abruptly stops, you looked over to her and saw the same mischievous look on her face and it sent unease to rest in your stomach
âA babysitter would be niceâ Jay lowly sighed but waved it off, grateful to spend time with his daughter despite his busy schedule, âI just havenât had the time to properly look into thatâ
âWell look no further because I know the perfect babysitter for youâ Your eyes widen and youâre suddenly pulled forward once again and stood in the middle of Jayâs place looking like an animal caught in headlights staring right at him
âW-wa-Whâ You tried to speak but nothing came out as you tried to adjust to what your friend just offered, who she just offered which was you
âYou?â Jay sucked his teeth as he looked at you noticing how his trench engulfed your body and unconsciously you straightened out your posture, âJust for uhm precautions⊠Why would you be a good babysitter?â
The sudden light hearted demeanor from him changed instantly and you couldnât blame him. Two random girlsâone of them your neighbor who you barely speak to, was just offered to take care of your daughter just like that. Youâd be surprised if he didnât do this even if itâs late at night and heâs still yet to put the groceries away.
âI-I wonât mind looking after your daughterâ You explained as best as you can as you felt Jayâs piercing gaze on you. Adjusting his jacket over you, your eyes flickered around, âI live right next door so Iâll never be far- Plus my schedule is pretty flexible even with schoolingâ
âAnd I mean itâll benefit you in the end right? Iâll do everything I have to do to properly take care of herâ
âI'd like to help you outâ You managed to give a smile the moment you made eye contact with him which you hoped didnât creep him out, âI mean- You know to make sure you donât get burned out so quickly and have time to focus on yourself! Trust me I know how it feels and itâs not funâ You awkwardly chuckled and you could hear your friend smacking her forehead behind you
His eyes never left yours and it felt like he was able to read every thought in your head. There was a moment of silence and you wanted to lay down in a hole and never show your face again. You nibbled on your lip as you watched Jayâs hard gaze on you.
He let out a sigh nodding his head, âAlright. When can you start?â
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
Running around gathering your belongings into your bag still making sure to be as quiet as possible in order to not disturb the sleeping child in your bed.
You picked up a sudden dropped shift with the expectation of receiving a higher pay for the unexpected inconvenience. You could really care less for the ungodly hour youâll have to work, money is money and you desperately need it.
And right on time, you heard the faint knock at your door and you knew it was none other than Jay picking up his daughter.
This was only your first week babysitting her, the first time awkward but easy but after the 4th day it was better than the first timeâmuch better or at least you thought it was.
At your door, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath before carefully opening it to reveal Jay on the other side of it. A striking simple black suit that pierced your heart like an arrow as he adjusted his watch.
He raised his head to the sound of the door opening and gave a gentle smile making warmth spread across your chest. The silly little infatuation is driving you mad.
âHi Jongseongâ You greeted him, moving to the side just enough to welcome him in, âShe was a little more tired today. Sheâs sleeping right now, just give me a second and Iâll go get herâ
Without even being able to say a word, he watched as you disappeared. Normally, his daughter would be full of energy ready to greet him at the door when it was time to be picked up.
Keeping his lips in a straight line, he looked around your place noticing it was simple but homey. It spoke loud of who you were as a person which heâs come to realize, he doesnât know much of.
He only knew the basic things about you but nothing in depth that could make him stand out in your life. He let out a deep sigh at the thought and rubbed his nape but stopped seeing you carefully carrying his daughter.
Her head rubbing against the juncture of your neck, her small arms wrapped around you and the fondness you looked at her with when she let out a small whine when you tried to hand her over to him.
Jay isnât one to think of anything when seeing someone more specifically a woman holding his daughter but something bloomed in his chest as he watched you whispering in her ear making his daughter pull her ahead away from you to him.
He opened his mouth with a smile and extended his arms which his daughter easily slipped into from yours to his. âHi sweetheartâ He gasped as she quickly knocked her head into his chest and curled into her fatherâs embrace
You handed over her sparkly pink school bag towards Jay which contrasted his attire but you think it suited him quite well and found it more cute.
âThank you so much for looking after herâ He softly said and just hearing his soft voice made your knees want to buckle but stuck with just waving it off as nothing
His eyes looked you up and down and took notice of your clothing. Rather than the comfy clothes you wore the first time he came to pick up his daughter, you wore more formal clothing this time a jacket wrapped around you with your bag hanging off your shoulder and phone in hand.
Your phone vibrated and you looked at it to silently curse under your breath which didnât go unnoticed by him. âIs everything okay?â He asked and you forgot that he was still there for a second
You replaced your frown with a quick smile, âYeah, I just have to head out soon for my shiftâ
Jayâs eyebrows knitted together, âA shift? This late?â
âWhatever can pay the billsâ You sadly chuckled and shrugged it off not noticing how Jay stared at you perplexed, he just got off his shift and here you were going to yours
âHow are you going to get there?â
âWalking but if Iâm lucky I can catch a busâ You explained but noticing time passing by you donât think the chances are high
Jay remained silent, contemplating something as you walked them out. His daughter stirred awake when you locked your front door. You quickly apologized and tried to soothe her back to sleep but she looked between you and your dad with sleepy eyes. âWhere are you going?â Her voiced slurred with sleepiness
âI have to go workâ You softly explained but she tried to reach out to you shaking her head
She mumbles something ineligible and you softly giggled before stroking her head leveling with her whispering a soft goodbye again. Jay watched all of this unfold between his daughter and you, the same bloom in his chest forming all over again.
âI can take you thereâ Jay spoke before being able to comprehend his own thought process,
Your hand dropped to fall to your side. His eyes widened as he stared at your shocked expression
What the hell is he saying? His mouth opened and closed trying to follow up his statement but nothing came out. But his daughter seemed to understand him better than he understands himself. âYes!â Her energy suddenly boosted up at the thought of being able to spend more time with you
Jay stared at his daughter, shocked at her quick interest, he looked over to you and saw the shake of your eyes before letting out a strained laugh. âI donât want it to be an inconvenienceâ You said
âRidiculousâ He chuckled not realizing how it made the harsh thump in your heart hard to ignore, âPleaseâ His voice softer than the first time
How could you say no to him? Well easy. You couldnât.
Jayâs car reflected his personality perfectly. Nice and sleek, the black shining leatherâReal leatherânot some fake leatherette to taint his car. His daughter and your happy chatter filling the car as he follows the GPS to your job.
One could easily mistake the dynamic. Easily. His foot slowed down on the brake pedal coming to a stop in front of the shops that illuminated in bright colors, 24 hours.
â24 hours?â He softly muttered not thinking youâd pick up on it but hearing your light sigh he moved from the sign to you who had a small smile
âLike I said. Whatever pays the billsâ You said, âThank you for the ride I really do appreciate itâ Your smile growing before turning your body in the seat to reach out your hand to the little girl in the back
âDonât give your dad a hard time mhm?â You hummed which caused her to pout her lips, trying to reach other to grab your hand to keep you longer but the restraints of her car seat kept her in place
You shot Jay a different smile. Something warm and tense before stepping out of the car, waving goodbye to them before heading into your job with slack shoulders.
How couldâve he have been so naive, selfish, just so stupid. Youâve been taking care of his daughter while heâs been at work. Picking her up, cleaning up after her, making sure to give the proper meals needed all whilst welcoming her into your place easily, allowing her to sleep in your bed even holding back from taking regular scheduled hours to look after her just to end up working ungodly hours just to get money.
Money that shouldâve been in your bank account from the first hour you looked after his daughter and yet, he hadnât paid you a single dime.
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
At the same time you heard the knock of the door. âRight on timeâ You said while standing up and making your way over to the door which you expected her to follow suit
You opened the door just enough, âHi Jong-â But it slammed shut in front of his face
Your jaw dropped letting out a loud gasp to see his daughterâs hand on the door, a deep frown on her face before clinging onto your leg, shaking her head. âDonât want to see himâ She huffed
Knitting your eyebrows you crouched the door peeling her off your leg to hold her arms. âNow that wasnât very nice to do but why donât you want to see him?â You softly asked but you let out strained a yelp when she launched her arms around your neck
You wrapped an arm around her, hoisting her up. âIâm going to open the door okay?â The lack of response from her made your lip tug to the side before opening the door again
Jay rubbing his creased forehead stopped. You gave an apologetic confused smile but he gave a tired smile in return almost as if he expected it. âItâs time to go back homeâ You whispered into the little girlâs ear but she let out a whine, roughly shaking her head and only held onto you tighter
Confusion written over your face as you tried to peel her off her body into Jayâs but she wouldnât budge.
Letting out a deep sigh, he ran a hand through his neat hair. The locks slotted through each crack easily, messily ruining the sleek style into something far more loose.
Awkwardly shaking your head from that thought to look at Jay. âWhy donât you come in?â You motioned him inside just like how you always did
How you welcomed him so easily when he hadnât welcomed you like that showed the constraint he held himself up to. Sighing heavily as he walked in, you closed the door behind himârocking the girl in your arms who hadnât looked at her father once.
âMake yourself comfortable Jongseongâ
âI feel like weâll be here for a whileâ
And after hours of quite literal utter silence in your place, Jayâs daughter finally fell asleep in your arms.
âSheâs asleepâ You softly whispered to Jay who immediately perked up from the chair, sleepy eyes seeing his daughter happily laying against your body, a content smile on her face while in your embrace
âOh I didnât know you were sleeping-â
âNo, it's fine. Iâm sorry I fell asleepâ Jay tried rubbing his hands over his eyes to wake himself up
âStressful day?â You softly questioned, it was a little invasive but the lack of sleep infiltrated your regular thought process that you spewed anything that came to mind
Jay stayed silent for a moment, his hands moving away from his eyes to look over to your droopy ones. You still managed to have a smile plastered on your face, especially to him.
There werenât many times he could be vulnerable, not when he has to prioritize his daughter over everything, to make money which is never an issue for him just to make sure his daughter could have anything and everything she could ever want.
A need to fill the void that no material could ever fulfill.
âJust a littleâ He deeply sighed, his back sinking into the seat again, his arm resting against the armchair
You nipped at your lip, âWant to talk about it?â Each word smaller than the last not wanting to overstep a boundary with him but it was an invisible opportunity that heâs been wanting, waiting for so long
âThatâll be niceâ
As you laid Jayâs daughter into your bed, he stayed next to you the entire time. He knelt to the ground, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, mumbling something inaudible for you to hear before stroking his cheek with a saddening gaze.
He tugged at your sheets making sure she was fully covered before turning to face you. You looked at him with complete utter fondness and he stopped his movement. His gaze remained on you for a split second longer than he wanted trying to pull back his wandering thoughts from going deeper.
Clearing his throat, he knelt up from the ground which brought you out from the haze that you were. Your eyes widened as his eyes never left yours and you quickly turned a heel, âI-I have some wine, do you drink wine? Is wine good?â You rambled
Jay stared at your figure. He let out a deep sigh which soon grew into a small smile when you turned around to face him. The light behind illuminating your figure. âWine is perfectâ
Jay sat across from you, his usually strict attire now messed up. Three unbuttoned buttons from his shirt. Sleeves rolled all the way up to his elbow, his hair out of his slicked style to a messy middle part. Legs barely spread open, his lower body pushed forward as he twirled the wine left in his glass.
âSheâs upset with me todayâ Jay sipped drops of wine out of his glass before resting it onto his lap, âI mean I donât blame her. I promised that her mom and I would take her out butâŠâ He sighed heavily
The mention of the mother made you suddenly tense. The first time you ever heard anything about her, neither did Jay or his daughter ever speak of her in your presence.
You gulped harshly, shifting on the couch. The material under your body is clinging onto your skin somehow. Itâs a normal reaction right or maybe youâre overthinking. It must be the alcohol seeping into your system already even though you hadnât taken a sip yet.
âWe both got caught up in work so we had to reschedule but I had to be the bearer of bad news and when I had to break it to her, of course she was upsetâ
âIâm actually surprised she didnât complain to you about it. She made it very known that she was upset at me and her motherâ Jay sadly chuckled to himself, his eyes trained on the wine glass
âItâs not your faultâ He quickly looked to you surprised to see the disagreement of opinion, âI mean- Thereâs some things that we canât controlâ
âEspecially when you and your wife work-â
âSheâs not my wifeâ
Defying silence surrounds you and Jay. He was quick to rebuttal the assumption and it tingles something in your gut.
âMe and her mother co-parent. We were young and reckless and everything just happened before we even realized it and now we have our precious little girlâ Jay chuckled looking up from the wine glass to look at you, a certain glint in his eyes.
âBut weâre not- Iâm not marriedâ
You couldnât look away from his eyes. They were enticing, captivating you deeper into the very thing you were holding yourself back from. Jayâs eyes never faltered from yours and you wondered how.
Trying to snap yourself from the moment to ground yourself in reality because even if he wasnât marriedâJust co-parenting, he has to be seeing someone.
âO-Oh I seeâ You said, his eyes boring straight into yours
You harshly gulped while trying to ignore the bubbling warmth of hope soaring through you. A voice deep inside your mind voicing out your deepest desires.
Feeling as if Jay could see right through you and hear these thoughts made you shift in your spot again. What if he could hear them? What if he thinks itâs strange?
Through the slimmest possible lens, what if he felt the same way.
âStill donât blame yourself for it⊠Iâm sure sheâll understand sooner or later. Maybe take her out to help somewhat ease the situation until you and uhm her mother can take her outâ You offered some advice as best as you could
Jay remained silent listening to you. His eyes finally look away from you and you let out a silent sigh of relief from the release of his hard gaze.
âTaking her outâŠâ Jayâs voice was barely above a whisper, he twirled the wine once again deep in thought
You stared at him, anticipation slipping deep into each crevice as possible in you until he spoke up again with his eyes looking back up to you, âDefinitely will have to do thatâ
There felt more to his words than the surfacing original topic of it yet, you couldnât place your finger on it.
âYou know she talks about you a lotâ You were the one to look at him in shock
âReally? I hope itâs good thi-â
âAlwaysâ He interrupted taking another sip of the alcoholic drink to slip past in his throat, âItâs always good thingsâ He smiled towards and there was the same warmth you felt whenever you with him grow 10 folds
âIâve been meaning to give this to you. Iâm sorry that itâs taken me so long please forgive meâ Jay shuffled through his discarded jacket before pulling out an envelope leaning over to slide it over to you
âWha-â His shirt fell just enough that if you dared to look longer you could see the necklace dangling and past it was his sculpted chest
You pulled your eyes to the envelope and grabbed it with shaky hands trying to hold back from showing the burning of your cheeks. Your palm clammy trying to open the envelope but slipping every time.
You continued to try opening the envelope but soon Jayâs calloused warm hands engulfed yours. You jumped at the sudden contact but not enough to pull your hands away. Looking up to him, his face is daringly close to yours.
Able to feel his breath brush against yours, you smelled the hint of wine but it made your insides churn in a rather dark way instead.
âSlow dollâ His voice slurred and fluttering, âTake it nice and slowâ
His fingers clasped over yours, guiding your movement in carefully opening the envelope. Holding your breath as he made your fingers slip into the envelope slowly slotting your fingers to grab the thin paper inside to pull out.
There was a slight shudder rumbling out of your breath causing him to slip up a smirk. Your eyes widen in pure shock as you read over the words on the paper or more like check.
A check written out to not even a hundred dollars but instead 2 thousand dollars.
âI-I- Jong-Jongseongâ
Your mouth fell slack as you tried to find any words that could form at least anything in the slightest but nothing came out. âWhen are you free?â He whispered, his nose bumped against yours, his eyes looking deep and searching in yours
Your hands fell down with his on top, âIâd like to take you outâ
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
An all black outfit. The button up something you hadnât seen before. It accented his shoulders that screamed to you, his daring built back that your fingers itched to claw at. His more relaxed but styled hair with the singular falling in front.
Jay looked so good but he wasnât staying. Instead he was going out while you were staying at his place to babysit his daughter like you always do.
And yet, selfishly you shouldâve made some lie that you were busy and wouldnât be able to babysit his daughter.
But the look in his eyes swooned you and the silent hidden excitement from him landed you right on his couch with his daughter plastered against your side having to watch her dad finish getting ready.
âPlease call in case of anything. Itâs just some job party, nothing important. They always host themâ He rambled trying to diminish the past excitement he had, âActually you know what? Iâm not going anywhere, Iâll just stay with you bothâ Jay said beginning to take off his watch
âJayâ You simply said which made him stop, he looked over to you letting out a deep sigh, âGo to it. When was the last time you were able to enjoy yourself?â
Two weeks ago when I took you out is what he wouldâve said if he had the courage to.
That day two weeks ago had been the highlight of his social life that heâs had in years. Always being so focused on working and taking care of his daughter, he never paid attention to anything outside of it until you came into the picture.
He can remember it so vividly almost as if he were to be reliving it again. Your sweet smile greeting him and his daughter. âHiâ He breathlessly let out seeing you
He awkwardly fumbled with his suit as you took notice of his different style of hair different from the usual one you see him in. Instead of the usual strict sleek hair, it was loosely done, his hair moved to each side to expose his forehead slightly.
âHi miss!â You looked down to see his daughter dressed up as she crashed her body onto your body in a bear-like hug looking up to you with sparkly eyes
Letting out a heartfelt chuckle, you stroked her head before looking up to Jay with a gentle expression. Heâs never been bothered with seeing others with daughter and yet, everytime with you, he feels a twinge twist in his chest watching you and his daughter.
âDaddy give her your gift!â His daughter chirped making him flinch at the sudden spotlight on him, you tilted your head in confusion and he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck before straining out a laugh
He pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and your smile dropped before quickly growing into a bigger one. You nipped at your lip to hold it back anymore but it was near impossible.
âGuess the surprise is ruinedâ He softly murmur but you shook your head at his words and grabbed the bouquet
âIt caught me off guard so I think itâs a successâ You chuckled before grasping the bouquet, âTheyâre beautifulâ You admired the flowers while he only looked at you
Jay was floored. âYeah I knowâ He mumbled under his breath going unnoticed by you
âThank you Jayâ You looked up to catch him staring at you with a certain sparkle as he looked at you, he let out his own smile and if it wasn't for his daughter tugging at his hand, he wouldnât have gotten out of the daze he was in any time soon
Instinctively looking at his daughter, he gave two fingers for her to hold and she looked over to you with her hand open. Instantly you knew what she wanted and allowed her to grasp your fingers.
âLetâs head out shall we? Our reservation is soon-â
âDaddy worked hard!â His daughter chipped in cutting him off, âAlways on the phone talking to people for itâ His daughter spoke making the tips of Jayâs ears turn bright red as you stifled a laugh
âOh did he now?â You raised an eyebrow looking over to Jay who hadnât said a single thing to rebuttal the accusation, it was true, he wasnât going to deny it
He wanted everything to be perfect and by the end of it, it was indeed perfect. Jay held his sleeping daughter in his arms, your hand wrapped around his bicep able to feel the slight bulge of it as he walked you to your front door.
Jay felt accomplished. The day was filled with nothing but laughter and chatter minus the exception of sudden silence when many people mistaken them as a beautiful loving family out to dinner which always left Jay in a ringing frenzy until you snapped him out of it everytime.
He didnât know why the usage of family with you, to have you be mistaken as the mother of his daughter or as his wife left him hot and his heart pattering against his chest.
âThank you Jay for today. I had such a wonderful timeâ You smiled brightly and he was growing too accustomed to see your beautiful smile towards him
âIt was my pleasureâ He gave a tight smile as he felt sudden jitters all around, âIâm sure she enjoyed it tooâ He gestured towards his sleeping daughter
You nodded your head, a look of contemplation in your eyes before unlocking your door but right before you opened it, you quickly spun around and planted a peck on his cheek before fumbling with the door behind you.
Jay froze for a moment and just before you could slip through his fingers he strangled out a sound to stop you. You turned around, a faint dust of blush heating your cheeks as you lowered your gaze.
He gulped harshly not thinking this far ahead but knowing he had to come up with something, âI-I uhm if you want to of course- Iâd like to take you againâ He jumbled his words together until some sentence was formed
He anxiously looked at your dropped expression as you raised your head to look at him and heâll never be able to forget the chuckle you let out as you nodded your head softly biting back your smile.
The beating of his heart reminded him of what it was like to feel like a little kid having their first crush ever all over again. It never bothered him not feeling this in a long time but now being able to experience it again, it felt nice.
And yet, somehow he never managed to gain any courage to see when you were free. Excusing it to be poor scheduling with his working hours and you taking care of his daughter and schooling hours with the very few work hours you snagged just for extra pocket money even when he offered to pay triple the amount heâs been already paying youâWhich was nearly 3 thousand dollars daily.
Money is not an issue for Jay, never has been and never will be and heâs more than willing to cover all and any expenses you may have. His only issue is not nearly having enough courage to ask you again.
âDonât worry about us, you know we always have our own fun here. Go have yoursâ Your reassuring voice reminded him of reality as you smiled through a fake smile
As wonderful the idea was if Jay stayed in that exact same outfit and didnât go out for everyone to throw themselves at him. You knew it was unreasonable, these job parties are probably hosted in the first place with hopes that he shows up to at least one of them.
Ignoring the bubbling gnaw in your stomach twisting your stomach inside and out, Jay lets out a defeat sigh, clicking his watch back on and dusting off the imaginary dust off his clothes.
âSay goodbyeâ You whispered and Jayâs daughter smiled widely waving goodbye to her dad who stared at her and you in complete awe
He walked over, his hand resting on the armchair and leaning down to kiss his daughter on the forehead. In the process the same musk cologne filled your nose making your head dizzy and having him in closer proximity made your heart thump out of your chest.
His side profile was nothing but sheer perfection. You nibbled at your lip as you examined his features up close, always finding yourself in this very position. And yet, he was beyond reach.
Your lips tugged downwards but tried to replace it with a smile when Jay pulled away and looked over to you. His eyes boring into your wavering ones like usual, there was a split moment of hesitance. You gulped trying to ignore the patter of your heart.
Instead of saying goodbye, Jayâs breath shakily fanned yours with a staggering thing smile plastering on his face, âSee you soonâ
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
He expected the party to loosen every fiber in his body but instead his emotions were only heightened ten folds. Every passing second heâs looking at his watch counting down the milliseconds waiting for what seems like a reasonable time to leave.
Sighing heavily, he shakes his head. He shouldnât have listened to you. Heâd rather spend tonight with you and his daughter watching whatever you guys put on.
Swashing the drink in hand not having taken a single sip from the moment he arrived, his arms resting against the rail as he overlooked to see everyone enjoying themselves. He let out another heavy sigh just to check his watch again.
âMr. Park you look tensedâ He looked up to see his employee leaning against the rail next to him giving him a sly smile
Being the boss he is, he dropped his sullen face to give a professional smile. âDo I?â He sucked his teeth letting out a quick stifle laugh
She giggled at his remark like it was the funniest thing ever said, âIs it perhaps about your daughter?â She tilted her head and Jay didnât like the fact she carelessly mentions his daughter
However, giving the benefit of the doubt, he assumes it must be the alcohol in her system noticing the nearly empty glass at hand.
He lets out an awkward laugh and tilts his head to the side giving no response. âOr is there stuff happening at home? Yâknow I would love to help out in anyway I can Mr. Parkâ The employee rubbed her hand up and down his arm slurring her words together
His eyes followed her movements and carefully pulled his arm away checking the time, âWill you look at that I have to get back home to my girlsâ
âYour girls?â The employee muttered to herself in confusion but she wasnât able to dwell on it anymore when Jay took away the glass with a small smile
âDonât drink anymore tonight. Make sure to rest properly and take some medicine in the morningâ Jay nodded his head and easily turned his heel walking past the other employees who all wondered where he was going but none dared to ask
It didnât take long for Jay to get back to his but on the drive home, he was in pure contemplation. His elbow resting on the open window, feeling the night breeze fanning his face as his fingers played with his lips.
He possibly couldnât. He shouldnât even be thinking about you in this light and yet every time he sees you, he feels like heâs experiencing his first crush all over again.
Jay rushed out of his car once he parked it. Standing outside his front door, his hand raised to softly knock against it. After a few seconds of waiting which felt like an eternity. The door opened with your soft voice. âJongseong?â
Right when the door was opened wide enough, Jay stepped in not forgetting to lock the door behind him. He knew his daughter was fast asleep considering the time. It was just you and him.
You stared at Jay confused at the lack of response from him but you gasped when he suddenly grasped your hands, feeling the familiar calloused feel of them scratching your skin.
He looked deeply into your eyes and you nearly felt your heart burst out of your chest. Thereâs always been an underlying feeling thatâs been infiltrating him from the moment he first met you.
A pretty, money struggling woman that he wants as his to bask away into the sunset and take care of forever.
Jayâs hand held your lower back, his other hand holding the middle of your back flushing you against his. You let out a small squeal the moment your bodies clashed. His breath fanned over yours and the very faint smell of the musk cologne caused a shiver to run up your spine.
Youâve never seen him like this. So raw with emotion, yearning eyes, a tug at his lips. âJa-Jay?- Jongseong?â You stuttered not knowing how to address him in this moment, your heart thumping out of your chest
He drew in closer, his lips closing in on yours, âCall me Jay. Call me Jongseong. You can call me whatever you wantâ
âJust call out to meâ You felt his lips grazing yours before he softly planted them against each other
Your squished hands shivered but they carefully climbed higher until they reached his sharp jaw as you pushed further into his lips. Jay let out a pleased sigh feeling the reciprocation. His hand on your mid back traveled to grasp the back of your head.
His hands turned your body, his body filling in any empty space that dared to be left behind. Your hands squeeze in between under his arms, grasping onto the behind his shoulders in a desperate need.
Your mind was reeling, not a single thought in it besides the dadâThe hot dad next door, Park Jongseong.
His tongue gilded against your lip, begging for entrance. You easily allowed him to explore your mouth. His teeth tugging at your bottom lip in a haste making your squeal.
âGoing to have to be a quiet dollâ However, he wasnât sure if he could keep up with his own words, Jay felt drunk when he was kissing you
Your lips grew swollen from how long heâs been kissing you but not once did he stop, the lack of oxygen would never stop him from kissing you.
The tips of your fingers dug deeper into his shoulder causing him to let out a loan groan at the feel. If there was one thing he was sure of, it was how badly he wants to make you his.
Jayâs arms loosened around your body enough to make his hands land on your hips to carefully guide your body deeper into his home that now always welcomes you in.
You allowed yourself to melt in his embrace. Every touch felt like fire against your skin, your arms flailed to wrap around his neck making sure not even for a second did his lip ever leave yours. Your teasing fingertips entangled in his hair.
Jay bit your lip to keep himself silent through the dizzy feeling of your tugs. The moment you reached his bedroom, the door closed shut as he quickly pushed you onto his bed, never detaching his mouth from yours.
His body slotted between your legs, as you wrapped around him. Holding him to keep him closeâdaring for him to get farther than just a few centimeters away only to drag him back in.
The feel of lightheadedness was finally catching up, through the few milliseconds that you both stopped to change positions were you able to properly breathe but it was taken away when Jay crashed his lips back onto yours.
The same repeated motions felt like an eternity that you never wanted to escape from. Jayâs hands holding your waist tightly while yours traveled playing with the back hairs loving how they run perfectly in between.
Jayâs been kissing you like a starved man who has been deprived of any sense of touch for so long which wasnât far from the truth. One final tug at your lips before the wave of air filled your lungs through a loud pant.
Gasping for air contrasted the pucker of your lips ushering more kisses. Jay let out a deep chuckle, his thumb rubbing at your sides now planting softer pecks on your lips with a side smile tugging at his lips.
âMoreâ Your voice slurred, âPleaseâ
Your breathless pleas only fueled him further. Who was he to deny your desperate pleas.
âTalk to me. What do you want, doll?â He hummed in the juncture of your neck, his mouth leaving feathering kisses in its wake
The simple nickname leads to the attempt to squish your legs together, forgetting how Jay rested in the middle. He caught your attempt and let out a chuckle.
âYou like being called doll or do you like the fact that youâre my doll? Which one is it, mhm?â An unexplainable courage taking over him that he couldnât remember why he didnât ask you out from the moment he knew what he wanted
You could feel the smirk radiating off of him and you rolled your eyes which didnât go unnoticed by him. He sucked in his teeth, his hand grabbing your chin with force to make you look at him.
âNow donât be a bratâ He tooted before letting out a smirk, âUse your big girl words, which is it?â
Already have succumbed to him and his words from the moment you saw him standing at your front door. âYour dollâ You softly said
Pleased with the words, he let go of your chin to capture your lips with his, the kiss softer than the first one. His hand gilded higher up your side. You moaned in the kiss, happy to feel his lips on yours again.
Your hands wrapped around his neck to keep him in place, âLet me spoil you dollâ He murmured, your lips grew in a smirk which he felt, his hand tightened on your waist as if in a warming
Pulling away with a heavy pant, you looked up to him with curious eyes which captivated him, âI spend a lot of money you knowâ You snapped your fingers, âJust like thatâŠâ Your voice becoming lower than the last
Jay let out a laugh, his head dropping, âWell can you waste my money as quickly as I earn it?â His head raised when he questioned you
You froze at the retaliation. You nervously gulped before letting out a shy smile. You shook your head. Jay hummed in satisfaction at the response before planting kisses at the side of your neck. âDidnât think soâ
Closing your eyes, you lose yourself in the sensation. Your body contorted with each of his feather kisses, you bit your lip loving each second of his mouth on your body.
While they moved lower and lower while his hands managed to slip under your shirt feeling your burning bare skin under his touch. You let out a louder gasp than intended when you felt his hand cup at your breast through your bra.
Your eyes shot open only to see Jay looking up to you with a gleam and smirk written all over his face. His hand dragged from under your shirt to your legs, his fingertips gliding until he reached the waist of your pants.
You let out a shaky breath, his eyes pleading for permission. You slowly nodded your head. âWhat a good girlâ He whispered the praise before dragging your pants down
The air caught in your throat but quickly noticing how he was leaving the sticky undergarment clinging to you, you stopped his hands from moving any further.
Jay immediately stopped and looked at you with worried eyes. He retracted his hands away and began to pull away but right when he was going to speak, you engulfed his hands to bring them back.
Stretching out his fingers, you looped them under to grab everything. Jay froze feeling the fabric of your underwear at his fingertips. He looked away with wide eyes to you but you gave a reassuring smile before allowing yourself to melt back into his bed.
âDonât be so shyâ You whispered loud enough for him to hear, he let out strained chuckle before nodding his head
He pulled down every piece of fabric in one motion. You unconsciously squished your legs together, âItâs okay doll. You donât have to do a single thing. Iâll take care of youâ He softly reassured as he pried open your knees to expose you to him
You closed your eyes shut while your hands fisted at his sheets. Jayâs eyes zeroed in on the glistening entrance that invited him to devour. Opening his mouth with a big breath, he went in and placed an open mouth kiss on your core.
You squealed and jumped from the contact but Jay hooked his arms under your legs before you could fully pull away from him. He groaned at the taste of your captivating arousal on his taste buds. His tongue glided over your folds lathering and mixing his saliva with your arousal.
âJong-Jayâ You breathlessly let out as one of your hands grabbed a fist full of hair, tugging at it while Jayâs mouth sucked and sucked practically all wetness from you
Jayâs groan vibrated from your core all the way to your head, infiltrating it with ease. No response to your calls of his name as he continued to lap at your pussy. Shivering with each kiss and suck, you let out a loud gasp when you felt the intrusion of his tongue teasing your gaping hole.
Jay immediately pulled away, the string of saliva connecting his mouth to your soaked smeared entrance, you nearly came to the scene.
âShhh doll, have to be quiteâ He brought a single finger over his mouth, a smirk played on his mouth seeing the fading string on his lips, his finger glided over his swollen mouth
It collected all that was left over and Jay brought the finger into his mouth, tasting the lovely essence of you. He lightly hummed before bringing his finger out and gliding it over your mouth. âOpenâ The tone stern made you listen without hesitance
Seeing how easily you opened your mouth to welcome the singular finger in without any resistance had his pants grow tighter. Your tongue swirled around his finger, your eyes never letting go with his. He smirked wildly as he pushed his finger further down your throat.
A dark cloud consumed his mind. The rationality he tried to maintain drifted further away. You tried to take as much as you could, feeling how his fingers went further down.
âLooks like you can take stuff wellâ Jay sneered, a crazed looked in his eyes before you began choking on his finger, feeling the flesh reaching the back of your throat
Pulling his finger away, your mouth closed in on it, letting it out with a pop when his finger left the warmth of your mouth. His finger now covered in your saliva, he admired it.
Looking back at you only to see the wide hopeful eyes you stared at him with a loopy smile. âBeautifulâ He whispered softly to himself before lowering his head back down
Expecting or more like anticipating the feel of his mouth again, you let out a louder gasp at the slip of his two fingers into your gaping hole. âWas just calling to be filled. I couldnât ignore itâ Jay muttered breathlessly as your walls clenched around him, âI promised to take care of you, didnât I?â
âJ-Jayâ Your hand tried to grappled with his wrist but the drag of fingers near lying slipping out just to slip back him made you stop
Knuckles deep into you, he pulled out again just to shove them back in, repeating the same motion over and over again. The squelch of your arousal and the quiet pants let out, your mind became hazy quickly, âQuiet dollâ Jay whispered
Before you could retain a sense of awareness to respond, his mouth attached to your swollen begging bundle of nerves and the first suck made you let out a loud moan.
Your hand flew to cover your mouth and with wide eyes you stared at Jay who froze. The single beautiful noise he heard made him smile against you.
He looked to see you covering your mouth, worried filling your eyes. Your chest rising and dropping. His freehand traveled up to replace your hand with his own. His thumb stroked your cheek, a sharp look in his eyes.
Maintaining a good pace, his fingers pumped into your welcoming entrance, never forgetting to curl and scissor you open. You let your moans fall into his hand, muffled more and more, the more he pressed down harder.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head feeling the flick of his tongue on your clit as if it were the sweetest treat to ever exist. The stimulation made you shake and back arch just for him. Breathing as best as you could through your nose with each calculated and careful rub to the nerves had you fisting fisting at his hair while your legs wrapped around his head latching him onto your pussy.
âSo fucking sweetâ He murmured to your muffled moans, âGive it to me doll. Be a good girlâ He knew you were on the edge, the pulse of you around his fingers was the near indicator, sucking him more and deeper into you
âJayâ You wail in his mouth before lightly biting on his palm to keep quiet as best as you could, âJa-Jongseong!â You let out louder when suddenly a gush of release shot out of you as you came over his fingers with a tight clench that forced his fingers out of you
Jay moved his fingers over your folds encouraging more of your juices to be released as he slurped as much out of your leaking entrance as he could, not wanting a single thing to go to waste. His tongue only add more to your sensitivity as you body contorted even after it finally came to a stop, âHelping you outâ The kisses were only constant while your whines and heavy pants continued, combining together
He stopped with one final kiss before finally pulling away and releasing your mouth from his hand. Your mind trying to comprehend and come down from the new height of pleasure, you let out a loud relieved sigh with a hidden shudder of satisfaction.
Seeing his smeared cover chin and loopy smile he had on his face made your chest flutter, âYou okay there?â Jay lightly chuckled at your weak nod, âBig girl words doll. You know how to use themâ Jay rose to hover above you
âFuck me Jayâ
Jay smirked letting out a hiss âWasted no time and used such nasty wordsâ
âThink you can be quiet for me?â Jay hummed trickled down your mind straight to your pulsating hole waiting to be filled
Nodding your head quickly and covering your mouth with your own hands made Jayâs lips tug to the side in pleasure. Jay fumbled with his belt, his eyes never leaving your lingering one and managed to free himself from the restraints of his pants with a strained sigh.
Your eyes widened zeroing in on the prominent bulge that was daring to burst any second, âLet me help youâ He whispered replacing your hand with his
Titling his head to the side admiring the scene beneath him. Sprawled onto his messed up sheets that heâll have to change after this, a daze filled look in your eye and his hand lightly covering your mouth.
Jay used his freehand as best as he could to free his raging hard-on thatâs been deprived for many years. Your eyes watched his every move to see how his cock sprung against his abdomen, having your jaw drop. A very much leaking tip and small twitches at the freedom and something that was bigâvery big.
He felt the slack of your mouth and chuckled to himself feeling the pride swell his chest. âWhatâs wrong doll?â He murmured when removing his hand waiting for some type of response
Your mouth opened and closed trying to form some type of articulating thought but nothing came out. âThink you can handle all of it? Can you think of taking me all in here mhmm?â Jayâs hand rubbed over your stomach in a slow manner
âThink you can be a good girl and stay quiet while I fuck you senseless?â
You were able to feel the thumping against your chest that you feared he would be able to hear. You donât think in your wildest dreams would you be able to take someone like Jay. Yet, now in your wildest reality, youâll tryâwell more like you will.
You tugged at Jayâs forearm whilst maintaining eye contact with him. The soft tug at your bottom lip as you threaded his hand to cover your mouth. You nodded your head as your eyes looked at him with greed. âWhy donât you find out?â
To your shock, Jay softly tugged his arm away from your hold. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he tapped at your leg, âTurn aroundâ
Seeming getting used to your jaw falling slack, you looked at him in shock but didnât hear an ounce of sputter in his tone. Not wanting to risk being left all hot and bothered even though you knew Jay wouldnât dare. You were not testing his patience today.
With a harsh gulp, you flipped your body over. Jayâs hands hovering over your hips before tugging them up before you could fully lay them onto his bed. Your upper body pressed into the mattress, feeling the messed up sheets sticking to the side of your face.
Your hands fisted at the sheets at the new exposure you had for him while your cheeks burned in shyness. He rubbed your hips in awe, pulling one of your cheeks to the side to get a glimpse of the arousal covered crevice. âIs this all for me doll?â
âA-All for you. Just youâ
His other hand grabbed the heft into his palm before aligning at your entrance. âRemember to keep quietâ He reminded, âTake a nice big deep breath for meâ
You followed his instructions but before you could fully respond you felt the larger intrusion of his tip to your gaping hole making you silently gasp. The stretch compared to nothing youâve ever felt before and would possibly never.
âFuckâ You breathlessly let out as Jay continued to sink himself deeper
Jay tried his best to not ram himself entirely into the delicious confinement you provided but it called for himâwhile sucking and welcoming him inside.
âS-shit taking me so goodâ He muttered as quietly as he could, âCould stay inside you foreverâ
You felt like you were being split in half just by his cock alone. Your ragged breaths followed after another trying to remember Jayâs advice and not get lost in the sensation.
You peered over your shoulder as best as you could to see how Jayâs looked to where he entered you. The sheer consecration and control made your mind stutter.
Without a warning, in a single thrust, your body jolted forward and you felt full. You gasped loudly, the sheets crumbling more under your clamped hands and body. Your lip shivered as you tried to keep your noises to a minimum.
âJ-Jayâ Your voice cracked trying to get adjusted to your walls being so stretched out by him
âItâs okay, I got youâ His reassurance filled your chest with warmth, taking a few breaths to regulate your body, you weakly nodded your head as you dug your head into the mattress to muffle yourself, âSuch a good girlâ He uttered softly tracing your back
Moving his hips once, he quickly got lost in the sense of you wrapped around him. His thrust left you nearly empty only to be filled the next second. Each precise move was calculated to each maximum pleasure possible for you. Nearly able to feel his tip already hitting deep to your g-spot, poking to your insides in a teasing manner.
Your muffled moans fueled Jay further to the edge. He gripped at your hips, his slow pace now picking up only slightly. You were taking all of him and he never felt prouder. âTaking me like such a good girl, so damn proud of youâ
Feeling like your head was submerged in water, you relished in his praise. The senses that were always on high alert whenever he was around came crumbling down and became filled with him.
âF-for youâ You blabbed against the sheets and Jay managed to hear it making him tap at your lower back as he carefully placed his body onto of yours to melt as one
Each thrust led you further into the mattress, your mouth opened leaving small moans in its wake, leaving your mind blank to only focus on the fulfillment you had inside.
Turning your head to the side, you let out whined filled pants. âTake it doll- Not a fucking soundâ Jay grunted darkly into your ear
Your mind tried to recall the words just said to you. But deeper and stronger was the desire to let Jay know how he was making you feel. Feeling you clamp around him harder and the silent pants soon became quiet moans.
âT-Too good. âm sorryâ You mewled as he continued to thrust into you, âSo good, can-canât help itâ Your body meshed as he continued
You took a loud deep breath while a whine rumbled out of your chest when he suddenly stopped his thrust, âAs much as I would love to hear youâ Jayâs sudden harsh thrust caught you off guard with a yelp, âYou need to be quietâ Each word followed by another harsh thrust that touched nearly every thing imaginable inside of you
Your broken wails were muffled by the bedding once again. Seeing the recoil of when he and you meet only fueled a carnal desire in him more. âGonna breed your sweet pussy dollâ
âYouâll be so full of meâŠWill you like that?â Jay grunts having the calculated thrust embodied your mind and body just for him
His words added to the fire that was consuming your body whole. You nodded your head roughly. âRemember what I said. Big girl wordsâ Jayâs voice lulled into your ear, âWant me to fill you up thatâll you feel it inside of you? Until itâs moving around in you with each step you take?â
The obscene noises only grew louder against his bed as you tried to form a proper sentence to please Jay. âY-yesâ You pleaded as best as you could, âPlease Ja-Jayâ
âWhatever you ask for dollâ Jay snapped his hips harsher, as you clawed at the sheets for support, âTaking me so fucking good- Bet youâll take everything I give youâ
You weakly nodded your head, âWill- F-For youâ You murmured
His thrust grew frantic and irregular, his constant grunts filled your ears. The more you clamped around him, not daring to let him go of the welcoming embrace you had around him drew him nearer his organsm.
âDoinâ so good for meâ His hand held onto your body when he felt you tightened as you let out the loudest moan of the night as you came all over his cock
Your body shivered as you entered a state of pure bliss. âTake it- Just a little more for me. Be a good girl for meâ His praises slipped passed your gaze and deep into your heart making the clench you had on Jay limit his range of motion but it was enough to have him snap and paint your pink velvet walls white of him.
A low groan slipped his mouth as he halted his thrust to properly fill you to the brim just like how he promised. He watched how you pulsed around him but none of the cum dared to fall out as you took everything he split into you.
Jayâs chest rose up and down, softly pulling out his semi hard cock out of you hearing the small hiss you let out at the sudden emptiness. Your body laid face first on his bed, your body rising and falling with each heavy pant. He smiled softly as he helped you turn your body around to face him.
There he realized his biggest mistake as he saw you masked in an afterglow. Your mouth was slack slightly opened, quiet whines fell out every now and then, your half lidded eyes staring up at him.
His eyes traveled to where he once was inside of you to see the few clumps of cum that spilled out. He cooed before quickly scooping whatever he could to sleek it over your folds before pushing it back in where he left it.
You whined loudly and slightly jolted at your sensitivity being tested when his fingers entered you again. âYou did so good for me doll... Youâre such a good girl for me. Iâm so proud of youâ Jay planted a messy peck against your cheek, âLetâs get you cleaned upâ He whispered
As he was going to remove his fingers out of you, you consciously tightened around them. You lazily shook your head unable to articulate proper sentences that wouldnât lead you back on his cock again which ultimately failed, âWant your cockâ You slurred catching Jay off guard as he let out a strained cough
âWha-What was that doll?â
âI want your cock again sirâ
Like a switch went off in his head. Jayâs demeanor changed. Never knowing the single usage of sir could alter his mind forever. Instantly needing to give you moreâmore than anything you could ever ask for, wanting to spoil you rotten until you grow sick and tired of him.
He needs to fill you up until you possibly couldnât hold any more of his cum in you. Softly prying your legs open, he aligned himself at your entrance again gaining your attention at how he easily complied to your request. âNo need to ask me twice dollâ
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
The faint bristle of wind coming in through the slightly ajared window, the direct sunlight shining through caused Jayâs face to flinch before groggily opening his eyes with a low groan.
Normally, his daughter jumps on his bed to wake him from dreamless sleep during the weekends. Yet, it was different this time. He managed to wake up on his own to no ruckus but instead a peaceful morning.
Attempting to stretch out his limbs to release some of the tension and drowsiness from it, he stops when he hears the muffled grumbles and faint sound of crinkling sheets. Tilting his head to the side, there he saw you and his daughter basked in the sunlight right next to him.
His daughter coddled in between while you laid against his numb arm, both sound asleep. He fondly smiled to himself before placing soft kisses on each of your foreheads, careful to not stir either of you awake. This was all he could have ever dreamed of.
âMy beautiful girlsâ
ââ
#enhypen jay smut#enhypen smut#jay smut#park jongseong smut#park jay smut#enha smut#jay park smut#park jay x reader#park jongseong x reader#enhypen jay
157 notes
·
View notes
Text
THE WOODCUT I WAS GONNA BUY JUST GOT TAKEN OFF THE WALL OF THE STUDIO IM so sad
#i spent the past three months debating whether to buy it or not (300 dollars is a lot)#but it was so fucking good and i kept thinking about it#and this is so on me i just should have bought it!! when i got the chance!!!!#my friends are gonna try to get me the artist's contact info so i can reach out and see if it's still available#but guys im so sad this piece of art has been living in my brain rent free for a while#and 300 dollars was A STEAL#every other piece was like. thousands of dollars#and this was the best oneeee why did i hesitate#probably cause. it's still a significant amount of money but UGH#this is not a real problem tbh sorry for complaining#it just made me slightly sad cause i was looking forward to going to goodwill and finding a cute frame for it and all that
1 note
·
View note
Text
Yeah, hi. Not gonna lie taylor, I do kind of agree. You're definitely a part of the problem.
#yes she isn't the worst person in the world#but people with much less are doing a lot more than she is and that is embarrassing for her#she has the means to do a lot about a lot of things. like if she WANTED TO. SHE COULD DO IT.#her and plently of others#but they haven't :/#AND IT'S EMBARRASING FOR ALL OF THEM!!!#so yeah some of you will have to swallow that pill#your precious taytay doesn't care that children are being blown to pieces :/#and she doesn't really care about you :/ bc if was happening in your city she would ignore you too :/#she just wants to use you under the guise of being a girls girl so she can get her hundred thousand dollar paycheck after every show :/
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
living in some dingy apartment building because it is all you can afford on your income unless you want to eat danimals yogurt and saltine crackers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. the stern landlady lives on the first floor, and some neighbors blast music on weekday nights (even if they didn't, the walls are paper-thin. you know more about the cambrian period than you'd like to, thanks to room 105) but it's a modest roof over your head and while the darkened grout lines in the bathroom are permanent, at least there's hot water.
until there isn't. and the landlady has mysteriously gone on vacation for the next two months.
what used to be a cathartic cleansing has now become your torment. every other day is hair wash day which means you're bent over the cold, porcelain edge of your tub, back screaming in protest and pain shooting up your bruised knees even though you've sacrificed one of your very nice pillows to avoid exactly that.
and showering is torture. the icy cold water feels like a thousand tiny claws scraping over your tender scalp, sinking into your trembling shoulders. you don't wait for your body to acclimate, just hastily scrub yourself as clean as you can and hop out, your chattering teeth and shaky breaths echoing through the tiny bathroom.
it's like this for a week and a half, a whole 10 days of suffering with showers so cold it feels like shards of ice biting into your goosepimpled skin when it stops. warmth bleeds into the stream of frostbitten water. finally, it soothes instead of stings. your coiled, tense muscles gradually slacken with relief, with unadulterated bliss. steam rises, the tips of your fingers and toes tingle as if thawing. gratitude wells in the corner of your eyes.
if you had any money you could afford to give, you would to your savior, but every dollar you own is earmarked for the bare essentials. so, with your thick, warm bathrobe cinched around your waist, you pen down a little heartfelt note to stick to the bulletin board downstairs before heading out for work.
thank you, whoever you are, for fixing the boiler. i could kiss you <3
when morning comes, you use one of the dull, golden tacks that previously held a lost pet flyer (sorry, bilbo the hamster, but it's been a year) and pin your note up.
only to come home and find it gone, a torn corner all that remains. maybe it's karma for your callousness towards someone's pet. (justice for bilbo.) you shrug it off, giddily skipping up the steps to wash off the day's stress with hot water.
but before you even hang your keys on the wall, there's a pounding on your door, hard enough to rattle it in its frame. and the masked man you see through the peephole isn't familiar. against your better judgment, you clear your throat before cracking open the door. "yes?"
the piece of paper he's holding in his dinner plate-sized hands seems incredibly smallâ and it's your note.
"i fixed the water." oh. "'m 'ere for wha' 'm owed." owed?
"i'm notâ um. the kiss. it's just a figure of speech." the thick muscle of his bicep coils as he crosses his arms over his barrel chest. he's a very large man, as broad as your door.
if you slammed it closed on him, he'd probably leave it hanging by its hinges. that's not worth a measly kiss.
"okay. but on the cheek since i never specified where so it's dealer's choice."
he huffs out an amused breath but complies, hooking his thumb under the edge to pull up his balaclava just enough to expose his stubbled cheek. he's got a couple of scars; thin, slightly raised. run along the sharp edge of his jaw and disappear beneath the fabric.
he leans close, enough to hear his steady, slow exhales. he smells of dirt. salt. something smoky, tangy-- like on new years, minutes after the clock strikes 12.
your hands cradle his face as you rise to your tippy-toes, wetting your lips and crane your neck-- but he snaps his head to the side,
and takes the kiss he was owed.
(he takes a screwdriver to the ac unit next. wire cutters to the fuse box. nails to your tires. anything that'll inevitably lead you back to him. you tried paying him with dinner but the only thing he was interested in eating was your cunt.)
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#cod mwii#cod mw2#simon riley#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley x you
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
how can i take your order? all you have to do is pick a dessert, drink and driver/character of your choosing! are you in the mood for a mille-feuille or a big slice of chocolate cake! please, please, please indicate who you want me to write about!!
the servers are from the following: formula one, call of duty, baldur's gate 3, haikyuu, one piece, jujustu kaisen, detective comics (dc), marvel comics (but i am open to any other fandoms you might have in mind! please do not hesitate to ask!!)
i do also accept polyam relationships! (pairing + reader), up to about four people! just to make it manageable on my end!
all orders can be made to the inbox for @bunnys-kisses and i'll get your order together asap! also let me know if you want it extra sweet or a little more spicy !
mille-feuille: âthatâs it, fuck, thatâs a good girl.â
butter tart: "let's ruin ourselves for anyone else."
sugar pie: âgonna let daddy hear ya?â
zebra cake: "well, what do we have here?"
carrot cake: "swallow it. all of it."
millionaire shortcake: "if they saw you now, you'd be the biggest shame to your family."
pots de crĂšme: "if a picture is worth a thousand words, then i could probably get a million dollars for this photo."
oat flapjacks: "i'm not scared of you."
persian rolls: "it's mandatory i finish. you getting to finish is a treat."
spice pie: "i didn't know it was possible to be a liar and a slut."
mushroom pie: "if you don't shut up. i'm going to shut you up."
lemon slice: "i'm sorry, what was that? i canât hear you over all that noise youâre making."
swiss roll: "everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. so i guess that means i own you."
pumpkin pie: "i've met strays who were more obedient."
pastry braid: "your job is to make me cum. now get to work."
sausage roll: "i wonder how much i could get for photos of this cunt."
pithivier: "if you don't behave, i'll let the boys take care of you."
tiramisu: âmy little slut to ruin.â
sponge toffee: "aw, is someone mad that they can only cum because of me?"
pull-apart bread: "i love you"
powered sugar donuts: "marry me."
blueberry bars: âgonna make you a mamma and you're gonna make me a daddy.â
pudding chomeur: "i don't share."
ice cream bars: âdid you see the way he was eyeing you? he need to know you're mine."
chocolate cake: "do you feel that? that's what happens when i think about you all day."
soufflé: "i'll be gentle."
fried dough: "i know virginity is a stupid concept... but i want to take yours."
apple pie: "now be good and beg. thank you."
vanilla cheesecake: "where are your manners?"
berry trifle: "wrong. try again."
maple cream pie: "either you wear the necklace with my name on it, or wear my bruises around your neck."
s'more: "The accent gets to you, doesn't it?"
belgian waffles: "i cum in that every night."
pancakes: "if you bite me. i'll bite you back."
loaf of whole wheat bread: "you're going to shut that mouth and take me."
jos louis: "does someone need a daddy?"
maple taffy: "oh my god you're stupid."
snowballs: "don't worry, drug tests aren't till next week."
shortbread cookies: "and who does this belong to?"
flan: "i'm not possessive... i'm obsessive."
peach cake: "if you spill a drop, we start all over."
angel food cake: "if he fucks with me again, i'm finishing inside of you."
red velvet cupcake: "if you don't like being called a whore, then stop acting like one."
mince pie: "i'm not jealous."
banana bread: "i'm going to fuck that sweet pussy of yours until the only word your little brain can form is my name."
crumb cake: "if you just listened, all of this could've been avoided."
chocolate chip cookies: "you're beautiful when you smile, but you're the prettiest when my cock is in your throat"
nanaimo bars: "who's my pretty girl? c'mon say it."
coffee cake: "knees. now."
sourdough bread: "i'm going to breed you."
blueberry muffins: "i don't think it'll fit."
pound cake with strawberries: "you know i hate going over rules, but just because i like seeing you embarrassed, i'll tell you them again."
croissant: "i wonder if your father knows what happens during the off hours. if he knows you're here with me."
crepe: "pretty girl."
french toast: "you're trying to make me jealous!"
churros: "if you don't shut that little mouth of yours, i will stuff it full. okay?"
shortbread squares: "you're just mad that that my cock fits perfectly in you now. must be a blow to the ego that we're a perfect match."
savory pastry: "let your brother find out."
sweet pastry: "i'll make it all better."
eclairs: "the family's precious little girl. under me like a slut."
boston cream pie: "yeah, i'll use protection."
bagel: âgonna paint you with my teeth.â
crostata: âstupid slut, this is what you wanted huh? wanted me to fuck you like i hate you.â
tres leches: "i wonder if your brother know i cum in you."
peanut butter bars: âscratch me, bite me, just mark me sweetheart. show them Iâm yours.â
eton mess: "be careful. your breath smells like cum."
scones: "but what if they see us!"
english muffin: "aw, is someone crying?"
honey cruller: "i forget how small you are sometimes."
banana split: "don't look at me like that."
beer brownies: "stick your tongue out anymore and you'll look like a dog."
fudge: "your father is pissing me off."
sticky toffee pudding: "the only way this is ending is you getting pregnant."
hot cross buns: "don't hide your face from me. i'd hate to have to tie you up."
brownies: "you're so much more agreeable when you have something to occupy that mouth of yours."
chocolate mousse: "the only necklace you need is my hand around your throat"
tim bits: "stupid little thing."
fruitcake: "i'll make tonight special."
cornmeal muffin: "i need you most."
devil's food cake: "you're my most unhealthy obsession."
crĂšme caramel: "oh. you thought you were getting away from me?"
banana & chocolate muffins: "i'm only doing this because you need to learn how to behave, rules are rules, and you need to follow them."
custard tart: "i've never done this before."
cinnamon rolls: "no one needs to know."
mango sorbet: "you are by far the dumbest thing i've ever fucked. how did they even let you graduate?"
date squares: "you look better with my marks on you."
figgy duff: "if i buy it, will you stop pouting?"
spicy upside down cake: "let's play a game: don't get caught."
cream puffs: "let me finish inside."
profiteroles: "come away with me. for a week, together. anywhere you want, we'll go."
with a side of:
coffee: rivals
tea: semi-public/public sex
juice: cockwarming
mocha coffee: breeding kink
bubble tea: daddy kink
a vodka shot: rough sex
sparkling water: gentle sex
coconut water: alternate universe
energy drink: doggy style
champagne: sugar daddy situation
hard lemonade: possessive behaviour
espresso shot: dirty talking
a glass of wine: cowgirl position
ice capp coffee: werewolf au
bloody mary: vampire au
martini: mafia au
frozen latte: dumbification
frozen lemonade: consensual non-consent
cranberry juice: mean!character
glass of water: aftercare
chocolate milk: tenderness
milkshake: size kink
pina colada: pregnancy
cider: body worship
mai tai: loss of virginity
margarita: unprotected sex
mint julep: punishments
chai: biting/hickies
earl grey: big cock
fishbowl cocktail: protected sex
tonic water: age gap
matcha latte: collars/bondage
root beer: filming/recording
soda: jealousy
americano: oral sex
whisky: degrading language
vitamin water: dom/sub dynamic
irish coffee: high sex
sangria: drunk sex
dark roast coffee: sub!character
dark hot chocolate: sub!reader
iced tea: accidentally launching relationship
lemon water: university/college au
naked & famous: bimbo/ditzy!reader
on the house: author's choice!
ORDER UP!
#bunny speaks#smut prompts#formula one#call of duty#bunny writes#call of duty modern warfare#reader insert#call of duty smut#call of duty x reader#simon ghost riley#john soap mctavish smut#captain john price smut#captain john price#john price#phillip graves#kyle gaz garrick#charles leclerc#max verstappen#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
áŽáŽÊÉŽ áŽáŽ ÉȘÉŽáŽáŽ ÊáŽáŽÊ ê±ÊáŽáŽ | J. WY
» PAIRING : Wooyoung x f! Reader
» SYNOPSIS : The times when your aged-up husband fucked you dumb
» TROPE : Established relationship
» GENRE : Filthy smut
» WORD COUNT : 2k
» CONTENT/WARNINGS : Aged up! Wooyoung, Mob boss! Wooyoung, Age gap (10 years), dom/sub themes, face slapping, spanking, rough sex, degradation, dumbification, slut shaming, dacryphilia, voyeurism, Consensual filming, daddy kink, use of nicknames, possessiveness, public sex, breeding kink.
Despite what everyone assumed about your relationship with your ten-years older mob boss husband, youâd say the assumption of him being too old to fuck your pussy right was the most offensive one of all. To say Wooyoung had the bigger sex drive in your relationship, was more precise, for he fucked you in various different places, positions and times. And he managed to leave you practically broken every time, leaving himself to pick up the pieces and fix you up again just to fuck you into oblivion.
There is not a thing about you that is not hot for your mob boss husband, and he made sure to show you off just enough.
But no matter how blissfully Wooyoung fucked you into submission every time, you had to have some of the favourite times. Times when Wooyoung did nasty things to you, to satisfy his own lust.
Despite being oh so possessive over you, always making sure to leave his marks on you, Wooyoung surely loved showing you off to his mob members. Often taking pictures and videos that showed how he fucked you dumb into nothing but dumb puppy at his use.
So when he had your arms weakly wrapped around his shoulders, looking like you were minutes away from breaking in his hold as your pussy stretched to the maximum by his cock. He just had to take a video of his pretty wife. His left hand rested on your shoulder, pointing to the mirror for which you had your back facing. His other hand caressed your hair, ever so gently, before sliding down to your ass. You knew you had it coming when his hand squeezed your ass tightly, before pulling away to land a slap on your skin. âYou think they are going to love your little whimpers, kitten?â
You barely realised you had turned into a whimpering mess when Wooyoung landed a continuous series of harsh spanks on your now red bottom. Wooyoung moved his hand back to your neck, pulling you away from the crook of his neck. He cursed at the way your face had turned red, little tears at the end of your eyes, clearly showing how much Wooyoung had teased you for the night.
Finally giving into your plea which had turned into a mantra for the night, he finally jerked his hips up, causing you to jump up in shock. âSeems like fingering my slut till her cum ran down my hands wasnât enough, was it?â You finally break into a puddle of loud moans and whimpers. Leaving series of babbles at how good it felt and pathetic begs to fuck you hard.
Wooyoung sets his phone on the coffee table next to your couch, placing it as though to give it a perfect view of his dick hammering into you. âSo much for training you into a good little slut, canât even fucking handle being cockwarmed.â your face controls to protest back, âWas a good slut, daddyâ but it barely makes it out coherently. Wooyoung leans down to press his lips against yours, gently kissing you, while his hips slapped against your ass. Only for him to pull away the next moment to land slaps across your face. âLetâs see what they will think about that, princess.â
The next morning, while you had your head rested against the thousand dollar pillows, Wooyoung slowly caressed his semi-hard cock, reading the messages San and Mingi sent.
Debating whether or not to fuck you awake, as his jealousy clawed at him despite a voice in the back of his head telling him to let you rest. In the end, he had you on your stomach, fucking you slow and deep as he snapped another picture.
Wooyoung
All mine to fuck. <3
If Wooyoung did not send anything to them, he would have them watch the both of you live. So for some odd reason whenever he took you to one of his club meetings, to âdrink and have funâ, it mostly ended up with you on all fours to take him or his cock shoved down your throat while everyone either just watched or had their dicks out shamelessly masturbating to the sight.
And it was certainly odd that Wooyoung made you drink something before you go. But it was too much to care when your cunt dripped so wet, almost making a stain through your jean skirts. Knowing it was not a new thing for any of them to find you cock drunk, you decide to mount his thigh, not caring that a waiter was staring wide-eyed at you.
Your pussy rubbed against the friction of his jeans, your hips shamelessly bouncing you up and down on his thigh all while the room went silent. It is not a surprise when Wooyoung reaches up to your face to slap you, hard. The sound resonated throughout the room, but it did nothing to stop your hips from grinding down onto his thigh. âFucking shameless. You look so pathetic right now, brat.â
There was barely any true malice evident in his tone, but oh the degrading words did not help your condition. âDonât care, daddy. Want you to fuck me right now, please.â You draw out your plea, taking his hand to move it to your pussy. Wooyoung surprisingly leaned back as he let you continue your pathetic little stunt. You slide your wet folds over his thick fingers, messily trying to ride them.
Oh was the expression of utter disbelief looking good on his members as they try to wrap their minds around the current situation. Wooyoungâs eyes wander over to theirs, over your shoulder before your whine pulls his attention back to you. âPlease daddy, pussyâs so wet for you, just want you to fuck me. Gonna be a good slut, please.â It wasnât just Wooyoung who knew exactly how to break you, a pathetic series of begging and pouty whines from you was enough to make him have you on your back with your thighs pressed to your chest.
I mean, how could he ever deny his good little slut when sheâs begging at his mercy? But he would be lying if he said he didnât like overstimulating you in front of them either, to the point your hands almost come down to caress your pussy from the amount of abuse. Only for him to grab your arms and make you hold them up again as he leans down to lap at your swollen lips.
When you first started dating Wooyoung, he knew you were extremely inexperienced, for he was the first one to teach you how to suck a dick. So it was not a surprise for him to find out you were a pillow princess through and through despite years into your relationship. As much as it was supposed to bother him, Wooyoung liked the idea of you completely relying on him for pleasure.
And he for sure loved proving his theory. So when he found in deep slumber, all while your skirt rode up leaving your white oanties on display for him. He just had to rub little circles on your clit to make it nice and wet for him, but applying minimal pressure so as to not wake you. But oh shoot! He had to leave to meet dealers at his house office minutes ago. Wooyoung felt so âguiltyâ about leaving his princess all wet and ready, leaning down to kiss your thighs gently, âBe a good girl for daddy, okay?â
And thanks to the camera Wooyoung had set up in your bedroom, he could stalk your every movement when you woke up. Funny how he thought he would focus on anything that the dealers would say when the sight of desperately holding the vibrator against your pussy to find the spot, or your fingers trying to reach deep only for your attempts to go to vain.
Frustration was bubbling in your blood, your slick covered hands searching for your phone, hitting the top contact. As if on cue, Wooyoung heard his phone go off, and as soon as he picked it up, he was met with your frustrated pants. âDaddy! Where are you?â you didnât mean the sentence to come out so bratty, but could you help it when you itched for a relief, down desperately. Wooyoung almost contemplated on coming to you in an instant, but of more preferably by being fucked into the sheets. âWatch your tone, brat.â Wooyoung involuntarily raised his eyebrows, surprised at your outburst. There was an immediate whine on your end, almost sounding like a wail. ââM so fucking wet daddy, really tried helping myself.â Wooyoung could hear the sobs coming up to your throat, and gosh did it make his cock harden in his briefs. Your fingers found their way back to your womanhood, grinding course he loved watching you suffer a little too much.
âMaybe continue humping your little fingers just like that. And youâll get to have daddyâs cock deep inside you again.â To say Wooyoung was shameless was an understatement. He absolutely had no hint of embarrassment in his tone for talking like that in front of everyone. Before you could let out another whine, he hung up on you, a subtle smirk hanging on his face as he set his phone down.
Wooyoungâs dick ached to be buried inside you, his eyes almost never leaving the screen except to answer some questions. So when Wooyoung finally walked past your bedroom door to find you only minutes later, to find you laying pliant on the bed. The sound of Wooyoungâs footsteps immediately had you on your knees, waiting for him like an obedient kitten. Knowing there was a plea in the tip of your tongue, his one hand moved down to wrap around your waist, while the other found home in between your thighs. The fluttering touch of his long fingers against your dripping folds had you moaning into the kiss.
âSuch a tempting pussy.â Pulling away from your lips, he pushed you down on your back, hoisting your legs up and apart. His middle and ring finger slamming inside you without a warning, knocking the air out of your lungs as you gasp. Your face contorts into a fucked out expression that has Wooyoung grasping your neck tightly.
âSo patient for daddy, werenât you princess?â Your mouth formed an âoâ, your eyes rolling back when his fingers penetrated the sweet spot over and over again. Moving his hand from your neck to push away hair gently, before tugging hard on it. âDumb little mutt, your slutty pussy of yours can never get enough.â
Wooyoung pulled out his fingers just when a trail of liquid spurted out of you, causing your hips to twitch in place. âSo fucking messy, youâre just a dumb little pet at my mercy.â
One thing about the way Wooyoung treated you while fucking you was he was unpredictable. His soft gentle touch on your body could turn into a harsh slap, hard enough to leave his hand imprint. But why did he do this? It was to simply see the way you would let out a little gasp, or the way tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to hold it in. but it was mostly for the latter. There was nothing Wooyoung wouldnât do to see tears running down his pretty slutâs face, stinging your cheeks thanks to his harsh slaps.
But there was nothing unpredictable about Wooyoung when he caught sight of a rather younger guy, around your age, standing next to you at an absolute close proximity, his hand on your lower back which was exposed thanks to the deep cut in your dress. Anger was un understatement, to say the least. His hand grasped the back of your neck tightly to tug you back into his arms, his figure towering over you from behind. âAs much as I hate to interrupt conversations, I believe my wife belongs with me.â
There were red marks of spanks and slaps, dark purple hickeys adorning your neck, and your abdomen almost bulged out thanks to being filled up by loads of cum twice in a row. It was safe to say you look the epitome of dishevelled mess. âThink that little fucker could fuck you this good? Think he can wear your pussy out like I do? Huh?â his hand squeezed around your throat barely allowing you to respond, âNo daddy, j-just you. O-only you can fuck m-me this hard.â Despite being pleased with your answer, his hand came down to swat at your bottom again. âMy slut is so pleasing, maybe I should let you cum again.â
#ateez#ateez smut#wooyoung#wooyoung smut#ateez imagines#ateez smut imagines#ateez hard hours#ateez x reader#ateez x reader smut#ateez hard thoughts#wooyoung x reader#wooyoung scenarios#wooyoung imagines#wooyoung smut imagines#dom! ateez#dom! wooyoung#dom! ateez x reader
667 notes
·
View notes
Text
simon riley, reiji namikawa, toji fushiguro, chrollo lucilfer, GOJO SATORU, john price
âso what do you think, do you like the pink one more or red?â you ask sweetly. he stares you down, not saying a single word but making a soft head tilt, accompanied with a grunt at the frilly pink skirt you held in your hand. âthink the pink suits you better, real pretty on you.â you immediately perk up, rambling on about how you agreed and really loved the pink one as well.
he canât focus though, why in the living hell would he be able to focus as you stood, half naked in front of him, bouncing around and giddy about the new outfits you bought. youâd somehow convinced your boyfriend to let you have a mini fashion show as he flipped through the channels trying to find something decent to turn on.
he didnât think you were serious even though this happened to be a common routine between the two of you. every single time youâd come home after spending thousands of dollars on new skirts, shoes, and bags begging him to let you show off your new additions to your wardrobe. and every single time youâd end up pressed against the couch, bed, counter, anything you were next to quite frankly, with your new piece scattered somewhere across the room as he fucked you to tears.
âgoin around spending my hard earned money, just to look like some whore for other men, huh dove?â he knew that wasnât true of course, always encouraging you to spend whatever you wanted on yourself. he loved to see you happy, this was just his excuse to have a little fun.
but every time you seemed to fall for it, whining in between thrusts about how, âno, only for you! promise itâs just for you daddy, only wanted to show yo-â. before you could get anything else out a hand snakes around, clamping over your mouth. âshh i know dove, just teasing you is all, skirt made you look so good just had to find a way to get you out of it, you know how i feel about âem.â
#lowkey bimbo reader#this is so simon riley coded#he was in my mind#but tbh this could be toji too#or namikawa#anybody tbh#toji fushiguro smut#gojo satoru#matsukawa issei#john price smut#simon riley smut#ghost x reader#gojo x reader#jjk imagines#jjk smut#hxh smut#cod x reader#call of duty smut#cod smut#âïž
501 notes
·
View notes
Text
nothing happened in the way i wanted part 1
author's note: okay so let it be known that my FAV emily henry book is happy place (if you want a deep dive into my personality, if you want to know the inner workings of my mind, read the book) SO with that being said, this fic was inspired by that masterpiece. plus i've fallen down a matt rabbit hole as of late. just a warning, this is a LONG ass fic (74 pages and 30.3k words, not a brag, i kinda regret that it's this long bc my brain hurts) so pace yourselves okay? thank you for being the kindest people ever!! this is finished, but tumblr said what i wrote is too long. so i'm posting it in parts lolol.
summary: a year has passed and you are no closer to understanding why matt ended things and you have every plan of avoiding that thought until he comes back in town for the offseason, then suddenly he's everywhere.
pairing: matthew tkachuk x reader
warnings: ANGST, friends to lovers to exes to lovers, mention of sexual assault, attempted sexual assault, drinking, depression, panic attacks, let me know if i missed something!
after
despite being back in st. louis for six months, summer still felt like it came too fast. your thighs started sticking to the seats from sweat about three weeks ago. summer used to be your favorite season because it meant you had unlimited access to the love of your life, you werenât sharing him with his teammates or his crazy schedule.
but he wasnât yours anymore. matthew hadnât been yours in six months and some change.
the second you entered your parentsâ home, you tossed your keys into the bowl and slid your shoes off. itâd been six months since you moved home, and it still didnât feel like a space where you belonged. you walked into the living room without so much as a hello from either of your parents, both of whom were posted up on the couch. they werenât talking to each other, just letting the noise from the news fill the room instead of conversation.
âhey,â you greeted, plopping down in the recliner.
âhow was work?â your mom asked.
you shrugged, not quite having the words to convey how mundane it had been. you were working on restoring a piece for this rich couple who lived in the same neighborhood as the tkachuks. it wasnât in too bad of shape, given the fact that you were the one entrusted to work on it. if it was actually something incredibly complicated, your boss wouldâve found someone else more experienced to do it.
when you entered art restoration and conservation, you thought it would be mindless. art had always been an escape for you, a chance to remove yourself from your racing thoughts. you thought that by entering the art conservation field, you could add onto something, enhance the beauty that was lost over the years of damage, instead of creating something from your own experiences.
but no one told you how hard it would be after your breakup, that you would have to learn how to pour bottles of chemical solvent into a glass when your eyes were blurring with tears. no one said anything about how you would spend hours hunched over, fixing the problems in paintings that only served to remind you that while you could mend a masterpiece, you were unable to stop and patch up the problems in your relationship. no one spoke about how you would inevitably relate to the paintings that came to you in shambles, the only difference being that clients would pay thousands of dollars for their paintings to be restored to their former glory, your ex let you fall apart alone in a city where you had no friends outside of the ones youâd made through him.
but how could you communicate that to your mother? to your father? both of whom stayed in an unhappy marriage for the sake of optics? how could you tell them that itâs been months and you were still no more over your ex than the day it ended? how could they understand you? they stayed together out of convenience, out of a fear of ending their marriage only to never find someone else.
it had been six months since your relationship ended, and you were no closer to understanding why.
âjust a mundane day,â was all you said instead. ânothing to write home about.â
both of your parents hummed.
âdid you have dinner already?â you asked.
âwas gonna order pizza,â your dad said.
your mother scoffed and rolled her eyes. âno alan, we had plans to see chantal and keith tonight for dinner.â
you wanted to throw up.
you werenât sure what you were expecting, maybe some loyalty from your parents? though, they werenât fully privy to all the information about the demise of your relationship with matt, so maybe you couldnât expect them to stop hanging out with his parents, especially when said parents were such great people.
âoh,â was all you could say.
âyouâre more than welcome to order takeout and watch a movie,â your mom commented, like you needed permission to make yourself at home when you were actively living there. âiâm sure ronald would appreciate your company.â
you glanced at the tabby cat who was perched on his cat tree. personally, you had no issue with ronald, but he liked your mom and your mom only. though on occasion, he would allow your dad to pet him.Â
âiâll figure something out,â you said.
your mom hummed before she stood up to go get ready while your father stayed on the couch. it was only another ten minutes before he got up to change quickly, and another five before they left the house without so much as a goodbye.
before
you were incredibly aware that you didnât quite fit in. your mom drove you to school in a beat up 1997 toyota camry which looked incredibly out of place among the bmws and audis. your mom offered to walk you in, but she was wearing her scrubs from her night shift and her face looked tired, so you declined the offer and got out of the car yourself.
it shouldnât have been as daunting as it was, but your old school wasnât as prestigious as this one. your previous schools in cedar rapids had been public schools. no one was wearing a uniform, and most of the backpacks worn came from the same walmart in your old neighborhood.Â
but your parents had decided they wanted a better education for you, even if neither of them had the money to fork out thousands of dollars for a private school. your momâs parents, however, were loaded. they were more than willing to fork out a small fortune for your schooling under the conditions of your family uprooting your lives to missouri. you were too young to realize what a sacrifice that was, you didnât notice the snide comments your grandparents made about your fatherâs choice of career or your motherâs choice in husband.
you didnât see your grandparents any more than you usually did since youâd moved to missouri two weeks ago. theyâd been out of town on a trip to rome up until three days ago and hadnât reached out to have dinner or hang out at all.
not that you cared at the age of nine, you were more focused on unpacking your room. but now that you were standing in front of the giant school alone, you felt like you shouldâve been more concerned with how nice your school supplies were.
a kind woman greeted you at the entrance of the school. she smiled and introduced herself, though you couldnât hear her over the roaring in your ears. she stood next to a blond haired blue eyed boy who was your height.
âare your parents here?â you werenât sure how you heard her over the noise in your head.
you shook your head. âmy mom had to go home and my dad is at work.â
the woman blinked. âis today your first day?â
âmom, itâs everyoneâs first day of school,â the boy groaned.
âi wasnât talking to you, matthew,â she said, though her eyes never left your own.
âi just moved here,â was all you said, albeit a bit quietly.Â
âwell, you can walk in with us.â She placed a warm hand on your back and ushered you inside next to her son.
you took notice of her nicer clothing compared to your momâs scrubs or your dadâs tattered khakis, though the womanâs clothing wasnât as ostentatious as other parentsâ.
âdo you know your teacherâs name?â the woman asked.
you nodded and showed her the crumpled paper in your hand. the night before, you were wracked with nerves and wrote your teacherâs on a blank sheet of paper and doodled around it. even at nine years old, you were concerned that youâd somehow forget. you couldnât be more grateful for it now.
the womanâs face lit up. âoh how lucky! matthew look! youâre in the same class.â
matthew for his part, tried to look happy about it, but his eyes kept wandering to the hallways, like he was looking for people he knew. you felt bad for even being in this situation. you missed your friends from iowa and the light up shoes you used to wear before you were given a uniform.
matthewâs mom pointed out the classroom that was supposed to be yours and walked both you and matthew into the room. unlike her son, who immediately found his friends to do elaborate handshakes with, you stayed by her side. she was a stranger, sure, but she was more comforting that the classroom of fifteen other nine and ten year olds.
the woman sighed and bent down a little to look you in the eyes. âitâs gonna be a good day, sweetheart,â she said. âmr. terry is a great teacher, heâs really kind.â you werenât sure how she would know that, but you werenât going to call her a liar. âand if you need anything, ask matthew. heâs been going here since kindergarten, okay?â
you nodded.
mr. terry walked over and introduced himself. he had dark skin and a bright smile, showing you to your seat. your name was on a card with fun stickers on it. next to your seat, you saw matthewâs name. now it wasnât necessarily an unpopular name, there were three matthews in your third grade class, so you werenât holding out hope that it was going to be the matthew you walked into class with. but two minutes later, he was plopping down into the seat to your left.
matthew looked almost startled to see you sitting next to him, but when the shock wore off he gave you a crooked smile and stuck his hand out. âiâm matt,â he said, like you two didnât walk into class together.
you shook his hand anyway and gave him a shy smile and told him your name, just in case he didnât see it written on your desk.
if it was even possible, his smile widened. âpretty name,â he said.
after
youâd watched a movie and half of another one by the time your parents walked through the front door. ronald jumped off the couch to greet your mother while he ignored your father.
âoh,â your dad said. âyouâre still up.â
âiâm about to go to bed,â you replied, though you didnât move from the couch.
âdinner was great,â your mom commented. âchantal and keith said to tell you hello.â
your gut twisted at the mention of their names. you loved his family, you really did, but the mention of the family that was almost yours stung when you looked at how your parents acted like roommates on the best of days.
you remembered summer days spent in the tkachuksâ backyard, watching as matt and brady chased each other while taryn tried her best to keep up. you remembered your dad picking you up from their house, and how you begged the entire ride home for a little brother or sister. he looked at your through the rearview mirror and said âwe already achieved perfection, why mess that up?â
but you were grown now. you saw how their marriage barely survived raising you, and they were probably being smart by not risking your upbringing just to have another child.
you bid your parents goodnight and headed up the stairs to your childhood bedroom. it looked less like the office it was converted into when you moved out originally. you didnât fault your parents for taking advantage of your absence, you, like many people your age, had zero intentions of ever moving back in until an unfortunate set of circumstances happened to you.
and thatâs what life had felt like lately:
unfortunate.
unfortunate shit just happening to you.
it wasn't late by any means, but you were surprised when your phone vibrated with a text message. maybe it was the fact that you hadnât really befriended anyone since moving back that had you flinching at the shock of someone other than your parents (or grandparents) texting you.
you unlocked your phone and opened the message, sighing when you read its contents.
emma:
hey girl! just checking in to see if youâre still good for this weekend? no worries if you canât make it!
you dropped the phone on your stomach and groaned into your hands as soon as they made contact with your face.
years of dating matthew meant youâd grown closer to brady and taryn and by proxy, bradyâs fiancĂ©e, emma. youâd already committed to being a bridesmaid and bought the dress before your relationship with matt ended. when emma found out, she called immediately and gave you an out, said she wouldnât take it personal, that she understood if it would be too hard.
but you remembered the countless conversations had about planning your weddings while the both of you watched the loves of your lives try not to kill each other from your spots on the back porch. and you could hear it in her voice, how much it meant to her that you would be there even if she didnât want to push it on you. it didnât matter that only one of you was getting the wedding you planned. the bets made on whoâd get married first were obsolete now.
you wanted to text her back and say you were busy, but you hadnât seen her much since her and brady came back in town. when the senatorsâ season ended in april, he and emma spent some time with her family and attended the playoff games for the panthers. now that the panthersâ season ended two weeks ago, all of the tkachuks were back in town which used to excite you.
now it just filled you with dread.
no, itâs not like you lived in the same tax bracket as mattâs family. you didnât go to the same grocery stores unless you were tagging along. no, there was a comfortable distance between your neighborhoods and st. louis was filled with two million other people that the odds of running into him were slim.
but your anxiety preferred zero odds rather than a slight chance, and it made the logic that was once screaming at you sound like a small whisper.
you sucked it up anyway, though. seeing emma and the other bridesmaids was better than staying in your room and staring at the ceiling.
you:
iâll be there! canât wait!!!
and maybe you used too many exclamation points. maybe you were trying too hard to prove something no one would believe if they took longer than a split second glance at your face. you were a horrible liar, that hadnât changed. you were just hoping by the time the weekend came around, youâd be too busy to focus on any of the pain.
before
the summer after keith retired, the tkachuks took you and your family on vacation with them to turks and caicos. your parents were stressed initially about the trip, but you were filled with nothing but excitement at leaving the landlocked state you called home.
missouri had slowly wormed its way into your heart. when your family moved, there was never a thought in your mind that you would ever come to love it like you did with cedar rapids. there was no way youâd ever consider this place your home. but then you met the tkachuks.
itâd been nearly three years since youâd first sat in that seat next to your best friend in mr. terryâs fourth grade class. now, you were splashing around in the waves with matt and brady while your parents looked from the shore.
school had been different the past two years, with matthew going to an all boys school after fifth grade while you stayed. it took some adjusting to being without him the entire school day. you didnât want to think of yourself as codependent, or clingy, but mat was your best friend. it was an adjustment, having to make new friends in the same school.
now that wasnât to say that you never saw matt. after your initial introductions, chantal offered to take you to and from school if your mom or dad dropped you off at their house in the morning. both of your parents jumped at the idea. your mother, who worked as a night shift ICU nurse, reveled in being able to go home and go straight to sleep. your father, whose job as an electrician required him to be on job sites early in the morning, didnât mind it either, he had to be up early anyway.
and sure, you had to wake up earlier than you used to, but you got to eat breakfast and pretend like you were a tkachuk most days of the week (with the exception of the days your mom was off). keith would ruffle your hair as he passed you in the kitchen. taryn would race matthew for the seat next to yours.
the tkachuks felt more like your family than your own some days.
especially now when your parents went on a date that keith and chantal paid for while they stayed back at the beach house with you and their children.Â
all six of you were seated around the coffee table with the game of life laid out in front of you. the evening started out with a game of uno, but that game got out of hand quickly. it took brady reversing the order and hitting matt with a draw four before your best friend lunged over the table to tackle his brother. while keith broke up the boys, chantal cleaned up uno and instructed you and taryn to pick out the least competitive game you could find.
which is how you ended up playing the game of life.
even though life had to be the least competitive game you knew, matt and brady still managed to argue over it, even going as far to rant about how unfair it was that they had to pay for home insurance. keith and chantal had just chuckled and told them to enjoy childhood while it lasted.
you found yourself smiling and laughing along.
you werenât quite sure who won, or how anyone ever really wins the game of life, but the moment mattered more. taryn went upstairs with keith to get ready for bed while brady helped his mom in the kitchen pop a bag of popcorn. you and matthew were responsible for cleaning up the game.
âare you having fun?â he asked.
your smile was so wide, it hurt your cheeks. âiâm having the best time. this is by far the best vacation iâve been on.â
âreally?â he smiled.
you nodded emphatically. âmost of my family vacations have been spent with my grandparents.â
matt grimaced, already aware of the testy relationship your mom had with her own parents. âwhenâs the last time you saw them?â
you had to think for a moment, while your grandparents technically lived in st. louis, they were often out of town or ignoring your familyâs existence altogether. with the exception of the last saturday of every month, when you and your parents were practically obligated to eat dinner with them. you didnât notice their judgmental comments when you were younger and mesmerized by the giant dollhouse they bought for you.
but you were older now. you knew that there were terms and conditions attached to the cellphone they bought for you on your twelfth birthday. you heard the disdain in their voices when they talked down to your father and mother for their life choices. you werenât an idiot, you understood that every compliment they gave you was a way for them to make your parents feel inferior in comparison.
you werenât a child to them, you were a pawn in a game you never asked to play.
âwe saw them about a month ago?â you shrugged. âtheyâre on vacation until halfway through august.â
matt hummed. âi think weâre gonna visit momâs parents before school starts back again.â
to your credit, you did your best to look happy for him, even if it meant that you wouldnât see him for a week and a half. you had other friends in town! in fact, you befriended a girl named simone when you started middle school. maybe you could call her when you get back to st. louis?
evidently, your little act wasnât convincing enough. matt nudged your shoulder with his. âyouâll be fine,â he said. âyouâre probably annoyed from how much time weâve spent together this summer. you need a break.â
you couldnât help but smile. âi could never get tired of you, matty.â
he blinked, almost at a loss for words, it felt like. but you shouldâve known better, because he was holding up his pinky a beat later. âyou promise?â
you locked your fingers together. âpromise.â
after
itâs just emma and her friends and taryn, you thought. you already know all of these people. thereâs no reason to be stressed out.
which, to be fair, your inner monologue was right. you had absolutely no reason to be standing in front of your closet debating what to wear for as long as you had.Â
before you could stop yourself, you were hitting emmaâs contact and putting your phone on speaker. the dial tone rang out through the room while you waited for her to pick up. you were seconds away from ending the call when her phone sounded through the receiver.
âhey! whatâs up?â
you exhaled. âi donât know what to wear tonight.â
emma said your name through a laugh. âweâre not going anywhere fancy, i swear. itâs just dinner and then weâre going to a bar.â
you frowned. âso tarynâs not joining us after dinner?â
âno, she has other plans after dinner anyway. she said she was meeting up with some friends from high school.â as if she could see the hesitance on your face, emma spoke up again. âbut you know all the other girls, itâs not like youâll be hanging out with strangers.â
and she was right, you were in a groupchat with the other bridesmaids and found all of them to be quite pleasant.
âlook, if youâre still stressed about what to wear, just wear jeans.â
âokay, but how nice is this restaurant?â you were rummaging through your closet. âbecause iâve worn jeans to restaurants that werenât supposed to be fancy and i found myself criminally underdressed.â
âyeah well, iâm better at communicating than matt is.â a gasp sounded through the receiver, like emma had just realized what she said. âoh my god, iâm so sorryââ
âitâs fine, youâre not wrong,â you said, forcing out a laugh even as your heart painfully squeezed in your chest.
âi really didnât mean to,â she sighed. âiâm sorry, that was rude of me to bring up.â
you shook your head even though she couldnât see you. âitâs fine, emma, i swear,â you said even though there were tears pricking in your eyes. âiâll have to face the music eventually.â
âstill, it was insensitive of me to say that.â
you cleared your throat. âdonât worry about it, iâm a big girl.â you pulled the phone away from your face so you could sniffle for a second without drawing any unnecessary attention. âso jean shorts tonight?â you asked.
there was a brief silence before you heard emmaâs soft sigh over the phone. âthat sounds perfect.â
before
matthew kissed you for the first time when you were hanging out with mutual friends after school in eighth grade. youâd been dreaming about that moment for years ever since sixth grade when you realized matt was handsome and the flutters in your stomach werenât just from nerves anymore.
both of you were at your friend morganâs house sitting in her basement. she happened to live in the same neighborhood as matt. so after school, you rode home with the tkachuks like you always did and then walked to her house.
morgan was the first of your friends to get a boyfriend and she wasnât shy about telling everyone. it was easy to be jealous of her. while you hadnât known her as long, your other friends had made it clear sheâd garnered male attention since preschool. so there was no surprise that sheâd announced at school earlier that week that she was dating someone from mattâs school.
hence the party in the basement.
morgan was the one who suggested truth or dare. she had all ten of you circle up on the carpet and sit criss crossed. you were keenly aware of how mattâs knee was touching your own, you could feel the heat even through your jeans. he was leaning back on his hands, with his right hand directly behind your back,in your delusions, you let yourself pretend he was doing it to be closer to you.
âalright!â morgan cheered. âwho wants to start?â
no one said a word.
you made the mistake of looking around when you caught morganâs eye. at the sight of a growing smirk on her lips, you quickly diverted your gaze.
âc'mon, no one wants to go first?â she hummed. âfine, iâll go. babe,â she started calling thomas babe a week ago. âask me, truth or dare?â
the only word you could use to describe the look on thomasâ face was besotted. without hesitating, he asked her the question, smiling when she grinned back at him. morgan chose dare, because she wasnât âboring and lame.â
thomas dared her to kiss him. there was a collective groan when she leaned over and kissed her boyfriend. the second she pulled back, morganâs eyes flitted over the rest of the group, looking like a tiger about to pounce. the two of you made eye contact and the corner of her lips raised in a smirk that was gone as quick as it came.
you prepared yourself for the worst, recalling how you let it slip that you have a crush on matt. and morgan, while she wasnât intentionally cruel, had all but shrieked when you told her. so you didnât think sheâd out you to be mean, you wouldnât put it past her to attempt matchmaking.
but her eyes skipped right over you and focused on simone. âtruth or dare?â
âtruth,â simone replied.
morgan rolled her eyes. ânerd,â but she cracked a smile anyway.
the game went on pretty effortlessly, you even got brave enough to do a dare (thankfully morgan never got the opportunity to ask you). it ended with morgan asking matthew. the smirk she had earlier, appeared as she made eye contact with you before setting her sights on your best friend.
âtruth or dare?â she asked.
you immediately knew which option he was picking, matt never backed down from a challenge and had been choosing dare all night.
âmatthew, i dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.â
your stomach dropped as did your gaze. you couldnât look anyone in the eye, you didnât want to see matt kiss another girl, you couldnât. you wouldnât do it.
a moment passed when you realized matt hadnât moved an inch. he was still leaning on his hands, with one stretched behind you. all it took was a quick glance at matt to see him already staring back at you.
âno,â he said, eyes still locked on your face.
morgan blinked. âwhat?â
it was only then that his eyes left your face to look morgan dead in the eye. ânope. i wonât do it.â
she guffawed. âbut you have to!â
matt shrugged. âi donât want to.â
âbut you lose if you donât!â
he shrugged yet again. âoh well.â
your head snapped up to look at him in confusion. âmatt,â you nudged him.
âwe gotta go anyway,â he said, before he stood up and reached out to you. you took his hand, albeit hesitantly before he dragged you up the stairs and out of the house onto the street.
a cool breeze was blowing which inadvertently caused you to shiver. matt, who still hadnât let go of your hand, tugged you further into his side. your heart sank when he dropped your hand, only for it to skyrocket when he threw his arm around you.
âwhy didnât you do the dare?â you asked. the curiosity was killing you, even if you believed the real answer would be even worse than not knowing.
matt shrugged like he had been all night. âi didnât feel like it.â
you blinked at him, staring at his profile while he guided the two of you back to his house. âyouâre literally the most competitive person i know. youâve never intentionally lost a game. last week brady dared you to drink that gallon of milk and run a mile, which, if i must remind you, you threw up not even halfway through.â
matt laughed. âthat was funny. but whatâs your point?â
âmy point is that kissing someone is way less work than running a mile and throwing up. so whatâs up?â
he wouldnât look at you, his gaze fell to the ground where he kicked a rock. âdidnât want it to happen like that.â
you blinked at him, refusing to move your gaze from his profile. âdidnât want what to happen like that? itâs just a kiss.â
he shook his head and stopped walking, grabbing your wrist when you kept moving. matt tugged your arm so youâd turn around and look at him. âit wouldnât be just a kiss,â he said.
âwould it mean more?â you asked, but he didnât say anything. âmatt?â your heart was beating against your chest. your hands shook at the idea of him wanting to kiss someone. you went through the list of people in that room. it wasnât morgan, heâd told you weeks ago that he didnât like her like that when you asked. could it be simone? she looked like a goddess on a bad day. her dark skin was flawless and free of blemishes and her faux locs were always perfectly styled. she didnât even wear makeup on a regular basis.
oh god. did he like simone?
your gut twisted at the idea, of him falling in love with the closest friend you had at school. you could learn to be happy for them, simone was great and matt would adore her if she agreed to go out with him.
you snapped back into it when you felt mattâs thumb rub across your pulse. âmatt, would it mean more?â
he shrugged again, still not looking at you, just the part where your hands were joined. âwould it be a problem if it did?â
now it was your turn to be confused. âwhy would my opinion matter? iâm not the one youâd be kissing.â
matt blinked at you once, then twice. âyou canât be serious,â he said.
âwhat do you mean?â
âyou canât be that blind. thereâs no way.â
âmatt, what are you talking about?â
he dropped your hand to run both of his over his face and groaned. âthere's no way you donât know.â
âknow what?â
matt fixed you with an intense look, one that had you squirming in your shoes a little. in all your years of friendship, you werenât sure he'd ever stared at you that way before. a hockey game? sure, but you?
âmatt whatââ
âi like you,â he said as plain as day, like he didnât just flip your world on its axis.
you blinked, you were pretty sure you stopped breathing. âwhat?â you whispered.
matt stepped closer to you, close enough that your shoes were touching. âi like you.â
âso why didnât you kiss me when morgan dared you to?â
âi didnât want it to happen like that,â he admitted. âdidnât wanna kiss you in front of everybody.â
you could feel the heat travel up your neck and to your cheeks. âand what about now? would you kiss me now?â
âwould you let me?â
words failed you, you could only nod. matt hesitated for a moment before pressing his lips to yours. it was clumsy and awkward, and in the middle of the sidewalk two blocks away from his house.
but it was perfect.
after
you ubered to the restaurant before emma could suggest meeting at the tkachuk house. every single one of the bridesmaids knew you and matt were no longer together, all of them banding around you and offering support from thousands of miles away. so you didnât think any of them would even hint at meeting at the tkachuk residence if they were as considerate as you believed them to be, but you wanted to avoid the sympathetic looks that would be thrown your way.
most of the bridesmaids were there by the time you arrived, the only exception being taryn. the entire table greeted you with bright white smiles, emma stood to give you a hug that you enthusiastically returned.
it felt great to be back in the company of people your age. despite being back in st. louis for quite some time, you still had yet to make any more friends outside of emma and taryn, both of whom you didnât see that often because of who they were relationally attached to.
unfortunately, youâd lost contact with many of your friends from high school because of the distance. if you could go back, youâd slap yourself in the face for thinking matt was going to stick around longer than simone or morgan.
but how were you to know he would leave and wouldnât want you to follow him?
you swallowed that question down and took a seat at the table. you sat next to a brunette named stacey, the other seat on your right was left for taryn, you assumed. there were already two bottles of wine sitting in a bucket of ice on the table. part of you considered pouring yourself a glass immediately, but you remembered the plans were dinner first, bar later. so you settled for water.
it was only a matter of maybe ten minutes before taryn was led to your table. you stood up with the rest of the girls and waited your turn to hug her. taryn saved you for last, smiling bright and wide when the two of you finally made eye contact. you squeezed each other tightly as you hugged, unspoken words being communicated.
ânow, before anyone looks at the menu, i just wanted to let you know, itâs on brady tonight.â emma held up her hand as mouths began to protest across the table. âhe insisted, and we wonât be taking no for an answer.â
and maybe you shouldâve protested a little harder to look more sincere, but your job wasnât paying you well enough to afford a 70 dollar steak and drinks.
the table breaks up into mini conversations while everyone was looking over the menu. you were doing the same when an elbow nudged you from the right. you glanced over at taryn who wasnât even trying to hide the fact that she wanted your attention, it was something youâd always admired about her.
âlong time, no see,â she said. but before you could respond, she spoke up again. âhow have you been?â
you shrugged and moved your eyes back to the menu to look busy. ânothing has been going on really, just working.â you cleared your throat and hesitantly made eye contact again. âand you? what have you been up to?â
taryn shifted in her seat, a tell you knew was coming. you werenât a stranger to where sheâd been the past few weeks, you still followed her on instagram, you followed all of the tkachuks on instagram, even matt. so you knew sheâd just gotten back after the panthers lost in game five of the finals.
you nudged her with your shoulder and gave her a small smile. âitâs okay, iâm not gonna burst into tears if you mention him.â
taryn smiled. âiâm exhausted, we were traveling everywhere for matt it felt like. it was cutting into my workouts.â
your jaw clenched at the mention of his name, mainly to distract you from feeling the ache in your chest, but you kept a pleasant look on your face anyway. âyou still have the rest of the summer for your workouts, though. summerâs barely started.â
taryn nodded but she didnât say anything for a moment. you started to shift in your seat when she reached a hand out and squeezed your own. âi miss you,â she said sincerely. âit hasnât been the same without you around.â
âtaryn...â
âyou know, youâre still in, like, most of our family photos hanging on the wall. mom and dad havenât taken them down.â
you werenât sure if that made you happy or brought you pain.
âi begged them not to, youâre in too many memories for us to just forget you.â she cleared her throat and looked back at her menu, giving you a break from the sincere staredown the two of you were having. âthey ask about you all the time, but they didnât want to impose, mom especially. said sheâd understand if you never wanted to see them again.â
you tried reading the menu through blurry eyes and pinched your lips together so no one would see them tremble. âiâve been meaning to get coffee with your mom,â you said, though you both knew it was a lie. youâd made yourself scarce for a reason.
âsheâd be happy to see you again, she just didnât want to overstep.â
you nodded, still not looking at the girl you fully believed would be your sister one day. âiâll text her.â
the waiter came by moments later to take your orders. thankfully, the tears had cleared up out of your eyes. as soon as youâd cleared your throat, you were telling the server your order without your voice shaking.
you bore the grief well, you thought. you laughed when everyone else did, smiled when appropriate, and asked follow up questions. socializing wasnât hard, years of galas and charity events as mattâs plus one had trained you well for moments like these, so long as you avoided the eyes of taryn and emma, both of whom knew you better than anyone else at the table.
emma paid with bradyâs card like sheâd promised earlier. unfortunately for you, thatâs when the anxiety started to come back. taryn was leaving after dinner, too young to go to the bars with the rest of you, and according to what emma had told you, she had plans with friends.
the group left together, with taryn waving goodbye as the rest of you headed to a bar three blocks away. your hands were shaking, so you shoved them in your pockets to hide the trembling.
itâd get better once you got a few drinks in you, you told yourself. youâd loosen up soon enough.
emma opened a tab with bradyâs card and you immediately started going in. the group started with a round of shots, but you were quickly ordering more than just tequila. it was only a matter of time before your vision started lagging and your brain began buffering to keep up with what was happening.
you were on the dance floor, grinding against a stranger, who thankfully, was keeping their hands to themselves, when emma tugged your arm, giggling. âeveryone else has left. and i think itâs time for us to go,â she slurred, a giant smile on her face.
you allowed yourself to be tugged away from the stranger. âhow do you know?â you asked, fumbling over your words like trying to catch a bar of soap with wet hands.
emma smiled and pointed at the bar where brady was, you assumed, closing out the tab. seeing him in the flesh had your heart stuttering. the anxiety was kicking back in, hitting harder than it did when you were sober. you hadnât seen brady since november, or was it december? the months had blurred together just like that one scene from new moon.
but now you were seeing him in the flesh, and he was getting closer as emma tugged you over to where he was. brady was just slipping his card back in his wallet when the two of you got to him. he looked up and smiled at his fianceĂ© before he even realized you were standing there. the lovesick smile dropped but it was quickly replaced with shock before it was transformed into a smile you couldâve painted from memory.
âhey!â he said just loud enough to be heard over the noise. âi didnât think you were coming tonight.â
if you were sober, youâd see that statement as a warning, preparation for what was to come. you wouldâve noticed the way his eyes kept darting to the entrance of the bar, but you didnât. you were just happy to see him for the first time in a while, feeling the semblance of home youâd been missing for months.
if you were sober, you wouldâve remembered that brady and his brother were a package deal. you wouldâve known that the nights brady wasnât spending with emma, he was spending with your ex, and when emma had inevitably texted (or brady offered) her fiancĂ© to pick her up, that he was more than likely already out with his brother celebrating his upcoming nuptials.
if you were sober, you wouldâve noticed him walk through the door because your eyes were always drawn to him. you wouldâve known it was him by the smell of his cologne, instead of waiting for him to slap his brother on the shoulder in greeting.
if you were sober, you wouldâve made a break for it the second he started approaching you, emma, and brady.
but you were drunk off your ass, and all you could do was stand there like a dumbfounded idiot while matthew brendan tkachuk glanced around the room.
brady shifted on his feet a little, bracing for the moment you both knew was coming. the moment where matt saw you for the first time since november 29, when he played calgary. youâd imagine to brady, it felt like watching a car accident happen in real time. to you though, you were the accident. you were the one getting hit by a bus going full speed. you were rooted to the spot, taking in every feature of mattâs face that youâd missed over the last six months, waiting for him to see you.
if you were sober, you wouldâve run away by now, knowing that being that close to him would do nothing for you.
but it was too late now.
matt finally glanced at emma, then brady, until his eyes landed on you. the smile on his lips from the song that was bumping through the speakers dropped almost immediately. he recoiled, took a small step back, almost as if he was shocked to see you there at all.
you felt like an idiot.
you werenât sure how long the two of you stared at each other before you took a deep breath and stared at your shoes.
your hands were shaking again.
you shoved them in your pockets again.
mattâs eyes darted to your shorts at the movement, his eyes scrunched together in what looked like concern, but you brushed that thought off before you could convince yourself he still cared. but you could feel his stare on you, even as you looked around and avoided eye contact. you felt like an ant, with mattâs gaze being the magnifying glass that was burning you with a beam of sunlight.
âdo you have a ride home?â brady asked. your head whipped back around to look at him and emma.
you shrugged, already feeling more sober than you were two minutes ago. âwas gonna uber.â
matt scoffed. ânot happening.â
out of nowhere anger bubbled out of your chest and out of your mouth. âexcuse me?â
matt fixed you with a hard stare, one you didnât shy away from. âyouâre not ubering home on a friday night drunk as hell. itâs not happening.â
âi think you lost the right to make my decisions six months ago.â you refused to say his name, refused to know what it felt like to have it back on your tongue even though your heart was crying out to utter those two syllables again.
brady interjected before the disagreement could escalate. âi just wanna make sure you get home safe,â he said. âcan i drive you home?â
you glanced at the man you used to know like a little brother. you saw the sincerity in his eyes, the concern.
and maybe it was the love for brady and emma that had you accepting. or maybe it was the alcohol. you nodded your head and let emma lock arms with you as you were led out by the tkachuk brothers.
you found yourself in the backseat where you used to hold hands with matt when you went on double dates with brady and emma. the two of you used to tease the younger couple when they did literally anything romantic. if brady so much as grabbed emmaâs hand, the two of you were gagging in the backseat âchoking on their pdaâ all while knowing brady and emma have caught you in more compromising positions before.
but it wasnât like that this time around.
you slid into your usual seat in the back before emma could offer up shotgun to you. maybe if you were more selfish, youâd accept, but you werenât going to let your friend sit away from her fiancĂ© when you could just suck it up.
the space between you and matt felt too suffocatingly small and yet it still felt like you were on two opposite sides of the globe. you thought about taking a risk and throwing yourself out of the moving vehicle, but there was still a wedding you were both in. you needed to figure out how to tolerate being around him if you didnât want to cause a scene later in the summer.
you just had to make it to the end of july, then you could go back and pretend like december 16th never happened, like the past nine years of your life never happened. like you never fell in love with your best friend, like you never met him and his mother in fourth grade, like your parents never moved you to st. louis. like there werenât traces of your failed relationship in every scrapbook in your parentsâ house, like he wasnât tied to every significant moment of your childhood.
you felt like the bundle of christmas lights that youâd sworn you put back in an orderly fashion the previous year, only to pull them out and realize you had an entire project on your hands to detangle them all.
except in the end, none of the lights worked anyway.
you could hardly remember a time where your life wasnât deeply intertwined with matthewâs. you thought itâd lead to something, to marriage, to raising kids together, to celebrating his retirement, buying a home close to his family, and growing fat and old together.
you hated the idea that you went down that road only for it to be a dead end.
brady pulled up outside your house. you were unbuckling your seat belt and throwing the door open before heâd even put the car in park. you were doing your best to get to the front porch before anything else happened, but as hard as you tried, you were still a little too drunk. you were stumbling up the driveway and to the front door, all the while trying to figure out which key was the key to your house.
a car door slammed in the distance before footsteps followed.
you knew the sound like you knew the sound of your motherâs sadness. you wouldâve recognized his footfalls anywhere.
in your haste and anxiety, you dropped your keys. you squatted down and nearly tipped over at the rush to your head. mattâs hand shot out before you could grab the keys while his other hand grabbed your elbow and pulled you into a standing position. he led you to the front door and with ease, found your house key. he unlocked the door but didnât move to open it. you could feel his stare on the side of your face, but you refused to look back.
his touch on your skin felt like it was burning, and part of you wanted to rip your arm out of his grasp, but you couldnât.
you justâ
couldn't.
matt said your name quietly, but you just shook your head, willing the tears to go away. he didnât get to see you cry, didnât get to know that his actions had absolutely wrecked you. he tried again, but you inhaled and jerked your arm out of his reach before you opened your front door, grabbed your keys, and shut it in his face.
you barely made it into your bathroom before you threw up.
before
you were bouncing on your toes at the airport. mattâs plane landed fifteen minutes ago, and you were anxiously waiting for him to round the corner.
mattâs first year with the ntdp made your relationship a little difficult, though, you thought it would be harder than it was. modern technology definitely made it easier on you. matt would call you just about every other night, and if he couldnât, matt was texting you whenever he had the freetime.
the last time you saw each other was when you and the tkachuks spent your spring break in ann arbor to visit, and that had been over a month ago. thankfully, youâd managed to convince your mom to let you check out of school early to wait for him.
âsomeoneâs excited,â taryn teased, bumping her shoulder into your side.Â
âhoney leave her alone,â chantal chided. âweâre all excited.â
âiâm not,â brady grumbled. not even a beat later, keith was slapping the back of his head.
moments later, matt walked around the corner with his bags in hand. you fought every urge to run to him, deciding he probably wanted to greet his family first. and he did, you watched as he hugged his mom and dad first, moving the taryn, before punching brady in the shoulder.
you were nervously playing with the hem of your school issued plaid skirt as you looked on, suddenly feeling out of place. but it didnât linger because in a blink of an eye, mattâs arms were wrapping around your waist and tugging you into his chest.
a sigh escaped your lips, one you didnât even know was held hostage in your chest. maybe you were being dramatic (you were almost 16, after all), but it felt like the part of you that was missing was just returned.
âmissed you,â he mumbled into your neck.
you couldnât help the smile that graced your lips.
matt didnât let go of you, even when everyone started walking towards the car where keith parked. your hand was tightly grasped in his own, forcing brady to carry the other bag matt couldnât. to make up for it, you offered to sit in the back of keithâs escalade so brady could have more leg room. matt ended up grumbling about it, but it was clear he wasnât going to let you sit in the back next to taryn when he hadnât seen you in weeks.
âi ruined my perfect attendance streak for you,â you said as you traced the veins of his hands.
matt smirked. âi messed up little miss perfectâs squeaky clean record? how will you ever get into college now?â
you ripped your hand from his and shoved his shoulder, barely restraining yourself from cussing him out. âshut up,â was what you settled for because while taryn and brady had most definitely heard their fair share of curse words, you didnât want to be the one on the receiving end of chantalâs disapproving look, even if it meant keith would be fighting for his life to hold back laughter.
all four of you, keith and chantal excluded, all but scrambled out of the car when it pulled into the garage. you and matt grabbed both of his bags before bum rushing into the house and up the stairs to his room.
âleave the door open!â chantal called from the first floor.
you didnât need to see his face to know matt was rolling his eyes.
âiâm tempted to ignore her and just slam and lock the door,â he grumbled.
you dropped the bag you were holding and guffawed. âyou wouldnât. you love your mom.â
matt dropped his bag and immediately took the opportunity to grab you by the waist. âand i love you.â
you almost giggled, but you didnât want to make a fool of yourself so you beamed instead. the first time he said those words was a few months ago over facetime and it still made you giddy as it did then.
matt pressed his forehead against yours. âyouâre not gonna say it back?â he asked.
you blinked, still smiling. âwhat?â
âyou're not gonna say you love me back?â
you shrugged, knowing it would get under his skin. you knew the consequences. âhm,â you hummed. âdo i need to?â
matt rolled his eyes so hard you thought they mightâve gotten stuck in the back of his head. âquit being smart.â
and maybe you shouldâve given up, maybe you shouldâve let it go and say those three little words youâd said countless times before. but teasing him was way too much fun to pass up when you hadnât seen him in months. so you pursed your lips and hummed again. âi seem to recall you saying you liked how smart i am. something about being the beauty and the brains?â
and out of nowhere, taryn popped her head in. âwell matt for sure wasnât going to be the beauty, and heâs never been the brains,â she smirked.
matt let go of you and marched over to the door, all but slamming it in her face.
âmatthew brendan tkachuk! that door better be open!â chantalâs voice carried up the stairs had you lunging across the room and whipping open the door in a hurry.
âsorry mrs. tkachuk!â you called out before turning around and glaring at your boyfriend. âyouâre a menace.â
matthew smirked and pulled you close enough that you were chest to chest. âbut you love me.â
âi love you so much.â
after
the hangover you had the next morning was probably the worst you ever remember having. well, until you remembered the night matt broke up with you, that was the worst one.
you turned over in bed, picked up your phone, and saw multiple texts from emma and brady alike, both ranging from âit was great to see youâ to âiâm so sorry about last night.â you groaned and dropped your phone back on the nightstand.
last night, when you thought about it, hurt more than it shouldâve. you saw him for the first time in the flesh and it looked like he was fine, like he didnât completely upend your life six months ago when he ended things. part of you wondered if he could see through you, through the illusion of your happiness and to the core where you were just as fractured as you were december 17th.Â
the rest of the weekend continued with you doing little to nothing but eating and binging trashy reality tv shows. when your alarm went off on monday morning, you contemplated calling off, but got dressed instead.
âyou look like hell,â was the first thing frankie, your mentor and boss, said to you. because of the nature of your relationship, you felt comfortable flipping him off, even as he passed you a cup of coffee. ârough night?â he asked after watching you take a hefty sip of the hot beverage.
ârough weekend,â you grumbled.
frankie gave you a small smile and patted you on the back as the two of you walked to the workspace. âwanna talk about it?â
you recognized performative kindness when you saw it. while you firmly believed frankie cared about you and your wellbeing, you also knew he didnât want to hear the sob story of how you ran into your ex drunk at a bar, at least, not at 8am. so you shook your head.
âi looked at some of your work on the bradshaw familyâs piece so far, and i was impressed. i do have some notes, but for the most part, youâve been doing a great job.â
you did your best to smile gratefully, but you werenât sure it translated. âi really appreciate your guidance on this, and the trust you have to let me work on some of these projects.â
âyouâre very talented,â he said. âyou ever thought about creating something for yourself or someone else?â
there wasnât a word to describe the noise that came out of your mouth. was it a nervous laugh? a squeak maybe? you didnât know, and neither did frankie.
âwhat?â he asked. âwhy is that so scary?â
you shrugged as the two of you made it to the workspace. normally, you would start by pulling out the supplies you needed to begin working on the bradshaw piece, but if frankie met you at the door, it was because he wanted to have an impromptu meeting first.
âi feel like iâm good at fixing things,â you said. âmaybe not creating something from thin air.â
âyou have so much talent,â frankie replied. âi hate to see it wasted on fixing and preserving someone elseâs work when you could be doing both. it could be your art that people hang in their houses and pay thousands of dollars to preserve.â
you nodded, but kept your eyes on the table, studying the wood grain and tracing the pattern with your finger.
âi donât think iâm capable of that anymore.â
frankie reached over and squeezed your shoulder. âjust think on it, okay? couldnât hurt to just think on it.â he walked out a moment later, giving you space and time to queue up music and get started on the day.
you opened spotify and pressed the play button on your liked songs without even thinking about it. not even two seconds later, you regretted your decision. the soft tones and beats of frank oceanâs thinkin bout you echoed through the room and slammed against your chest. you immediately switched the song and found a classical playlist to listen to instead.
but the tune wouldnât get out of your head.
not two minutes later.
not thirty minutes later.
not after your full eight hour shift spent hunched over your workstation.
not even on the drive home.
frank oceanâs voice permeated every fiber of your being.
it was simone who first showed you the song in high school. you remembered liking the melody enough, but you didnât get the lyrics. and why would you? you were in love with your best friend who loved you back. even though you were fourteen and too young to even think about marriage, you knew matthew was going to be the person you ended up with. it was him or no one.
and now it was no one.
now, you listened to the song play over and over in your head, the lyrics resonating with you deeper than ever before.
you pulled into your driveway, completely unaware of what cars were parked in the street. theyâd never mattered to you before. why would they now?
you sat in your car for a few minutes, taking a deep breath while you worked up the courage to go inside. when you finally got a grip on your emotions, you opened your door and grabbed your bag. you were too busy fumbling with your keys to notice anything amiss until you were on your porch and a pair of shoes came into sight.
âhey.â
it took everything in you not to scream. you dropped your keys and nearly dropped your bag. matthew stood on your front porch with his hands in the pockets in his shorts like he was innocent of any pain or suffering heâd caused you. he was in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and you hated yourself a little bit for thinking heâs attractive like that.
âwhatâre you doing here?â you hated how hoarse your voice sounded, like a low quality audio recording where things sounded muffled and broken.
âyour dad wouldnât let me in.â
âgood.â
matt sighed and ran a hand down his face. âcan we not do this?â
ânot do what?â you asked. ânot act like you ended things for no damn reason?â
âif youââ
âwe dated for nearly ten years and you decided to end it over a five minute phone call. and you still think youâre entitled to my time?â and maybe you shouldâve been kinder, maybe you shouldâve been more civil. but you hadnât seen or heard from him in months (until a few nights ago) and he just turned up out of the blue? expecting you to do what? forgive him? move on?
matthew said your name delicately, but not in the way he used to, like saying your name was a luxury he was honored to have. no, he said it like you were going to break, like you were fragile, like he wasnât the sole cause of your pain. âpleaseââ
the anger was draining out of you quicker. you were exhausted between work, and frank oceanâs stupid song, and the other night.Â
âwhat do you want?â your voice cracked on the last word. âwanna ruin my life a little bit more? put the final nail in the coffin?â
âno,â he shook his head fervently. matthew took a step towards you and looked something close to devastated when you stepped back. but it didnât make sense, he ended it, he had no right to look or feel that way. âi just wanna talk.â
âsix months,â you said, doing your best to keep your voice clear. âyou had six months to say something. what could you possibly have to say now that you couldnât then?â
âi know we didnât end on the best of termsââ he started, but it was cut off by your scoff. you turned your head away and used your palm to wipe at your eyes before you crossed your arms over your chest. ââbut i donât think we should let this ruin brady and emmaâs summer. weâre gonna see a lot of each other and i donât want things to be tense around them.â
you took a minute to really look at him. blonde frizzy curls, blue eyes that wouldnât leave your face. he hadnât changed one bit.
one summer, youâd attempted to count the number of freckles on his shoulders. you got up to 87 before you gave up.
and yet you felt like you were standing in front of a stranger.
there were so many things you wanted to say, so many things youâd dreamt of screaming at him, but now that he was here, in front of you, asking something of you, you felt drained, tired. you used to crave his presence, now it felt like a leech.
you loved him, but he was sucking the life out of you.
so you nodded. you nodded and said âokay,â before you walked inside your front door and left your heart on the porch.
you pressed your back against the door and slid to the ground, pulling your knees to your chest. there was no telling when you started crying, or when your dad joined you on the floor, hugging you as close to his chest as he could.
âwhy wasnât i enough?â you sobbed into your knees.
your dad petted your hair before he pressed a kiss there. âyouâre more than enough, honey. but you canât make anyone love you if theyâre not willing to.â
âhe used to!â you wailed. âhe used to love me!â then, in a smaller voice, âwhat changed?â
a beat of silence, then your fatherâs somber, quiet voice. âmaybe he did.â
before
âso what are your plans for after high school?â ms. meyer, your high school guidance counselor sat across from you at her desk. her stare was kind, but unwavering.
youâd already applied to notre dame, knowing thatâs where matt committed. so when you answered, it was confident. it had been your plan since matt said yes to the school. âiâm going to notre dame and majoring in art history.â
âdo you have any back up schools?â
you nodded. âucla and the art institute of chicago.â
ms. meyer pursed her lips. âyou know all of those places are highly competitive, right?â
âmy transcripts and resume are impressive and I did really well on the SAT and ACT. i think iâll be able to get in.â and you were, you were pretty confident as they come when it came to academics. any school wouldâve been lucky to have you, that much you believed.
ms. meyer nodded. âi understand ucla and the art institute, both of those schools have incredible arts programs, but why notre dame? it doesnât seem to fit with your aspirations.â
âoh,â you laughed under your breath. âthatâs where my boyfriend is going.â
your guidance counselor blinked. âyouâre incredibly smart and gifted, iâd hate to see that talent wasted when you could be developing it elsewhere. what do you want?â
âi want to be with matthew.â
ms. meyer sighed and gave you a sympathetic smile, you werenât sure why though. youâd never been more sure of anything. âhoney, can i be honest with you?â she didnât wait for your response. âyou have so much talent, so much to offer, iâve seen many girls come in here, putting off aspirations for their significant others only for that relationship not to last.â
âi know weâre young,ïżœïżœ you started, already feeling the heat rise up in your chest. she didnât know anything about you personally, she didnât know about you and matt. âbut weâre gonna make it, i swear.â
ms. meyer nodded. âof course you are.â she cleared her throat and adjusted the papers in front of her. âso, notre dame...â
after
you weren't exactly sure what compelled you to do it, but at dinner a few nights ago, your mom had asked about what happened to simone, your friend from middle and high school. so you reached out, though it made you feel like you were contacting someone to join your mlm.
it legitimately surprised you when simone replied to your facebook message. the two of you made plans to get coffee on saturday.
and now it was saturday.
you werenât getting coffee until 9:30, but you were awake and staring at your ceiling at 7. youâd done the due diligence of stalking simoneâs profile, so you knew she was married with two kids who looked just like her. she worked as a data analyst for kroger and her husband was a public defender. she met her husband in college and they got married shortly after they graduated from grad and law school respectively.Â
if you were a better woman, youâd admit you were jealous. jealous that she got what she wanted in the end. but when you put that aside, you still felt overwhelming happiness at her station in life, regardless of how yours turned out.
you kept scrolling through her social media until it was eventually time for you to get up. you stayed to facebook, not even wanting to bother with going on instagram and accidentally stumbling across one of the tkachuksâ posts.
it was 9:10 when you finally finished getting dressed and ready. you came down the stairs and threw a goodbye over your shoulder before grabbing your crossbody bag and your keys and running out the door.
despite your sprinting and nearly running red lights, you were still five minutes late. you came into the coffee shop, gasping for air after sprinting down the sidewalk from your parking spot.
the second you entered the business, simoneâs hand lifted and she smiled brightly, calling you over almost immediately. she stood to greet you, and like no time had passed, pulled you in for a hug.
âitâs so good to see you,â she said. âwasnât sure if you still liked an iced chai latte, but i got one for you.â
âoh my god, yes,â you gasped before taking a seat and taking a sip of the beverage.
she kept smiling, which made you feel lighthearted for once. most people kept looking at you with pitying eyes, but simone saw you for more than the grief of the last six months. she had to know about it, she just had to, but you thanked her for not bringing it up in the first minute of your conversation.
âhowâs work going?â
you shrugged. âitâs mostly tedious, but itâs been fine. what about you? working for kroger? thatâs a huge deal.â
simone shook her head. âitâs just a means to an end, a way i can pay for my familyâs lifestyle.â
âbut are you passionate about what you do?â
she shrugged lightly. âitâs a job, itâs not my life. not everyone is going to work a job that fulfills them. my husband? he loves being a public defender, and heâs good at it. me though, as fun as analyzing data all day sounds and as helpful as it is, getting to have a job that doesnât come home with me is probably my favorite part of it.â
you nodded along like you understood. and maybe you didnât do a good enough job at being convincing because simone sighed.
âi wanted to wait to ask this, but i canât hold it in any longer. howâre you holding up?â
it took you several seconds to answer her question. your mouth open and closed multiple times. âiâ i don't know.â you sank back into your seat and picked at your cuticles. âitâs been a shitty few months,â you admitted. âyouâd think iâd be over it by now.
simone shook her head and leaned in, arms braced on the table. âyou two were together for a decade, whatâs a few months in comparison to that?â
you shrugged. âi saw him the other night, when i went out drinking with the other bridesmaids. it was like, i don't know, i got dunked in an ice bath or something. he looked completely unaffected and i couldnât breathe.â
simone whispered your name.
âbut iâm fine!â you asserted. âiâm trying to be.â
simone nodded. âso what do you do now?â
you couldâve kissed her feet for the change in topic. âiâm working in the art restoration and conservation field.â
simone blinked. âyouâre restoring art? do you like it?â
you shrugged. âmost days, it can get repetitive, but thatâs what i like.â
your friend sighed and fixed you with a soft, sympathetic look. âbut is that what you want to do for the rest of your life? restoring someone elseâs art? doing something repetitive? you are so talented, i hate to see you wasting that talent restoring someone elseâs work.â
âitâs not a waste! itâs incredibly difficult and some things deserve to be preserved.â
âbut some new things deserve to be created.â simone leaned in closer, her forearms braced on the table. âi think it would do you some good to start creating something again, even if itâs shitty. and you think you arenât ready, just try something new. a new bar, a new hobby, a new man, something new.â
your stomach twisted at the thought of going on a date with someone other than matt, but simone was right. it had been six months and he seemed to be doing fine, it was your turn to start moving on, to find yourself again.
so you nodded. âwe should do this more often,â you said. âiâve missed you.â
simone smiled. âiâve missed you too, iâm glad youâre home.â
you talked for another hour about everything the two of you had missed over the years of you being elsewhere before she had to leave and relieve the nanny at home. simone hugged you goodbye and texted you her new number before she left the coffee shop.Â
the drive home was quiet because you were pondering the things sheâd said. you werenât sure you were ready for making your own art, you sure as hell werenât ready to go on a date. but maybe you should try.
maybe you were ready to put yourself first for once.
before
the biggest argument youâd had with matt was after you found out he wasnât playing at notre dame at all, he was going to play for calgary.
you felt so stupid for committing to that school when you shouldâve known your boyfriend was talented enough to skip it altogether. maybe you shouldâve taken a gap year, then you wouldnât have to be doing even more long distance in two different countries.
the two of you never argued, or maybe never was too strong of a word. you hardly ever had a disagreement if you thought about it long enough. most of the time, you suppressed the disappointment and the anger, shoving it to the side because you were surely being dramatic.
but now you were standing off to the side, waiting for your name to be called to cross the stage at your high school graduation, and you wished youâd said something to convince matthew to delay settling into his new calgary apartment with one of his teammates.
but you swallowed your disappointment and pride and just dealt with the fact that he wouldnât be there.
it was fine.
just high school.
you were snapped out of your reverie when your name was called. you smiled and walked across the stage. when you dreamt of this exact moment, you always thought youâd walk with grace, that all noise would cease to exist as you honed in on the sheet of paper youâd spent the last 13 years working towards.
but it wasnât like that.
because you heard one specific voice above all the others. as your principal handed you the diploma, your eyes searched the crowd and saw him.
matthew standing up and yelling with his family next to him. he had a sign, the words you couldnât read because there were tears forming in your water line. he was pointing at you and kept yelling and clapping, hooting and hollering like it was his full time job. your parents were smiling, though they were seated, and your grandparents were stone faced clapping like they were at the masters tournament.
so you kept your eyes on him, even as you walked back to your seat. you might have stumbled, tripped even, but all you could see, all you could feel was him.
you were back in your seat by the time the person calling out the names spoke again.
âplease hold your applause until the end.â
you could hear his scoff, even from your seat.
your leg bounced for the rest of the graduation ceremony. you didnât even register the turning of your tassel. you just couldnât wait for it to be over so you could be in mattâs arms.
as soon as the ceremony concluded, matt was shoving his way past families, nearly taking out an elderly gentleman in his quest to get to you. on the other hand, you were being pushed to move farther away from him as the procession of students filed out of the gym. you kept looking over your shoulder to find him, but it looked like brady had caught up to him, wrangling his older brother to follow the crowds outside.
âoutside!â brady pointed.
you nodded.
as soon as you got through the gym doors, you were booking it outside into the sunlight. it blinded you momentarily, but you whipped your phone out seconds later to see if matt had texted you where heâd be. you pulled up his contact and were seconds away from calling him when arms wrapped around your waist and lifted you up into the air.
a squeal left your lips until he set you down a moment later. you spun around in his arms and before you could say anything, matthew was kissing you like no one else was around.
when the two of you finally needed air, you pulled away. âi thought you were in calgary!â
matthew scoffed though there was a large smile on his lips. âyou thought iâd miss my favorite girlâs graduation? calgary can wait, your high school graduation only happens once.â
âiâm glad youâre here,â you whispered.Â
âme too, baby.â
unfortunately, matt pulled away so you could hug your parents and even your grandparents who were standing off to the side. taryn and brady pulled you into a group hug afterwards, with taryn going on a tangent about all the fun things the two of you would have to do before you left for school.
but brady was taking your graduation cap off your head to ruffle your hair as matt grabbed your purse and took your car keys out. keith and chantal were offering to pay for a celebratory lunch while your grandparents gave an irish goodbye. your parents were smiling, you were tucked into mattâs side, and brady and taryn were bickering andâ
everything was perfect.
you wanted to freeze that moment, that sensation in your chest, take the saccharine feeling and bottle it up and store it on your bookshelf.Â
and if you couldâve, you wouldâve savored the sensation of mattâs lips pressed to your temple while both of your dads discussed the best route to get to the restaurant.
but you had no idea how the future would turn out.
you thought matt was forever.
after
you were on a double date, or at least, hyping yourself up to go into the bar and meet up with simone, her husband, and a friend of theirs. you didnât want to be a bitch, but you also didnât want to send yourself into a panic attack. simone had suggested just entertaining something with someone, didnât even have to be serious, it could just be sex.
you could do that, right?
just casual sex?
the thought was nauseating. youâd only slept with matthew, no one knew your body like he did andâ
you stopped yourself before you could go down that rabbit hole.
your hands shook as you stepped out of your car and locked it. maybe you shouldâve gotten an uber, but then again, you werenât really planning on drinking like that. you were hoping youâd still be sober enough to go home.
the music in the bar shockingly wasnât as loud as you expected. it wasnât the bass bumping, ass grinding bar like the ones matt used to take you to after games. even still, your palms started sweating as you looked around. you spotted simoneâs natural hair across the room and made your way towards her.Â
her husband, stephen, stood to greet you first, followed by simone, then lastly your date. a guy named andrew who was a partner at his firm, the youngest on his team.
his handshake was firm, but there were no calluses on his palm. his hair was slicked back with what you guessed was a pomade.
he was so unlike matthew it was alarming.
but maybe it was for the best.
you smiled and took your seat next to simone, you sipped on the water in front of you.
âwe didnât want to order drinks without you just yet.â
âthank you,â you mumbled just loud enough for everyone to hear.
âitâs nice to finally meet you,â andrew started. âsimone spoke highly of you. she said youâve been friends since middle school.â
you felt bad because simone didnât really say much to you about him. if you were a gambler, youâd assume it was because she didnât want you to back out. you barely even knew him and you were already comparing him to matt.
which wasnât fair, you knew that. andrew deserved to be a human without the baggage of your last and only relationship determining how you viewed him.
you would try, at the very least for simone. at the very most, youâd try for yourself.
ânice to meet you too. i heard youâre a partner at your law firm? how is that going?â
oh god. you were so bad at this. asking about work on a friday night?
but he smiled. his teeth were perfectly straight and white. you'd bet your last dollar that he'd never needed braces, not like you did.
you hated yourself for thinking of the gap between matthewâs teeth.
âitâs going well,â he said. âlot of work, but i managed to get enough done this week that my friday was free. i wanted to meet the âbest artist on planet earth,â according to simone.â
âoh i donât know about that,â you flushed.
simone scoffed. âdonât downplay yourself.â she turned to look at andrew. âyou should see the art she created in high school as a teenager. it was so impressive.â
âwhat medium do you like working with the most?â he asked.
âmostly acrylic.â
andrewâs eyes lit up. âdo you have any photos of your art? iâd love to see your work.â
you shook your head, feeling a little embarrassed at all the attention. âi donât really paint like that anymore. i work in art conservation now, not a whole lot of time to create something new.â
âthatâs such a unique career! what does your average day look like?â andrew leaned forward a little and took a sip of his water.
you told him a little bit about what you did. about how you spent hours hunched over a painting and fixing the smallest problems in hopes it would satisfy the client.
âyou mustâve gone to some prestigious art school for that. if you donât mind me asking, where did you go to college?â
your spine stiffened. âuniversity of calgary.â
and just like you anticipated, his face twisted in confusion. there was no logical reason you shouldâve gone out of the country for a regular school. it would be one thing if you went to an art institute, but you didnât.
âwhy calgary?â he asked. âseems a bit random, if you donât mind me asking.â
you shifted in your seat and wouldnât meet anyoneâs eyes. it wasnât until you cleared your throat in a sorry attempt to get the lump out, that you spoke. âitâs a long story,â you said. âthought i had a future in calgary.â
andrew, to his credit, knew when to not ask questions and changed the subject immediately.
the rest of the night passed in a blur. you were only halfway present, your mind reeling at how you wasted those years in calgary waiting for a man who would dump you as soon as he moved to a warmer state.
he, quite literally, left you in the cold.
andrew offered to walk you to your car, an offer you accepted because it was dark and st. louis.
âi had a great time tonight,â he said. âit was really nice to meet you. youâre even better than simone and stephen said.â
you gave him a small smile. âit was nice to meet you too.â
andrew shifted on his feet. for a moment, he didnât look the part of the youngest partner at his law firm, he looked like a boy. âi was hoping maybe youâd want to do this again? maybe get some dinner?â
your throat felt like someone had force fed you cotton balls. but then you thought about how pathetic your life had been the last six months, how pathetic it was going to be when you flew to new jersey to be in the same bridal party as your ex.
you refused to be pathetic any longer.
which is probably why you smiled (albeit shakily) and said yes.
before
you were bouncing on your toes in the hallway as you waited for matt. it was a brutal game, and he spent a good portion of it in the penalty box, mostly for minor things, but one incident was for fighting. which wasnât atypical, but youâd never seen him that keyed up before.
and given his reputation, there were any number of things that couldâve caused the fight itself. two weeks ago, matt had fought someone for being too forceful with one of his teammates, which after years of watching the game, was on par with the sport and your boyfriend.
because he fought so much, you werenât necessarily surprised whenever he did. sure, you flinched when he was punched, knowing how badly it would bruise, praying to whatever higher power existed that he would still have all his teeth. but usually, matt wasnât trying to fight everyone on the ice at all times.
tonight was different.
safe to say, you were a little anxious waiting for him to come out.
you werenât exactly sure about what was said on the ice to get him so riled up. the worst youâd seen was when someone on the other team said something about taryn. you used to think that was the angriest you ever saw him. and it was.
until tonight.
you could feel the energy rolling off of him in waves as he exited the locker room. usually, after a win, matt is relaxed and easy going, but despite the victory from tonight, he was tense and pent up, frustrated even.
âhey,â you said, meeting him halfway.
matthew didnât respond, just dropped his bag and wrapped you up in a hug, tucking his head into the space where your neck met your shoulder.
âyou okay?â you asked.
he nodded. he squeezed your waist once before letting go, taking your hand instead. âready to go?â
the car ride was silent minus the music matthew had playing through the aux. his hand rested on your thigh, though the grip was particularly tighter than normal, especially after a win. part of you wanted to ask, the other part not wanting to spoil the rest of the night with your curiosity.
but this was the man you loved. and it hurt you to see him this upset.
normally, you wouldâve left well enough alone, but you were going back to notre dame in two days and didnât want to spend the rest of your time walking on eggshells around him. you couldnât help him if you didnât know what was wrong.
âwhat happened?â you asked when the car came to a stop at a light.
ânothing,â he grunted.
âyour team won and youâre still grumpy, matthew. so tell me, what happened? i want to help you.â
âthereâs nothing to help.â
âmatthew,â you groaned. âiâm only here for two days, can you just be honest with me? i donât wanna waste the rest of my trip with you being upset when i can help youââ
âthen go back to indiana!â he all but yelled, ripping his hand off your thigh so he could shove it through his disheveled hair.
your jaw dropped. in all the years youâd known matt, he'd never talked to you that way. and you werenât starting a bad habit by letting him think he could ever do it again. you unbuckled your seat belt and grabbed your bag. you tugged on the handle of the door. âiâll see you at home,â you said.
matt scoffed. âdonât be dramatic.â
âiâm not being âdramatic,â matthew. youâre being an asshole.â you braced yourself for the cold as the door opened and let in a cold breeze.
matthew called your name, but you ignored him and slammed the car door shut. it was a little petty, considering how matt had berated his siblings over the same thing.
a car honked, probably because the light had turned green and matt was still sitting at the light, looking at you.
a cold wind blew and for a moment, you thought about hopping back in the car with matt, but he was pulling away and your pride wasnât ready to take a hit just yet.
his car sped away until, with an efficiency you only wish you had, he parallel parked in a spot just up the road.
âget in the car,â he called, slamming his car door shut. âitâs too cold for you to be proving a point.â
âand what point am i trying to prove, matthew?â you asked over your shoulder.
you kept walking.
âwould you please stop walking and just get back in the car?â
you kept walking.
a hand reached out and grabbed your wrist, you mightâve shrieked had it not been gentle, had you not recognized the scent of mattâs cologne.
gently, he turned you around.
âbaby, just get in the car. you donât even have to talk to me. don't even have to look at me if you donât want to. iâll sleep on the couch or something, but itâs not safe for you to be walking home alone.â he ran his thumb back and forth over your pulse point in a soothing manner.
you kept your eyes on his hand. âwhat happened during the game?
he sighed, shoulders sagging like they were tired from carrying the weight of the world. âthey were talking shit.â
you blinked. âand thatâs different....how?â
with the hand that wasnât holding your wrist, matthew pinched the bridge of his nose. âthey were talking shit about you. saying you deserved better and shit.â
âmatthew, you know thatâs not trueââ
âthey called you names.â his voice was dark, angrier than you'd ever heard before. âthings iâm not comfortable repeating.â
a shiver went down your spine, for matt to be that upset made you uncomfortable. you didnât want to think about what they said, you didnât want to dwell on it any longer.
âwell,â you said, voice feeling small and weak in your throat. âwell, we know itâs not true, so it doesnât matter.â you tried to make your way back to the car, but mattâs grip on your wrist stopped you.
âbut it does matter,â he insisted. âwhat they said, i get it wasn't true, you and i both know that. but iâm not gonna let anyone talk shit about you, i donât care who they are.â
your eyes finally met his own and in the blue you saw determination and conviction there. you started towards him and wrapped your arms around his waist.
âi love you, matty.â
he kissed the top of your head. âlove you more.â
after
âwhere are you going?â your mom asked from the couch.
your dad looked up from his james patterson book to squint at your outfit: a square neck black dress. âare you going out?â he chimed in.
you felt sheepish, like the fifteen year old girl going on her first solo date, no parents picking her up because matt just got his license. âremember that guy i went on a double date with?â
âwith simone and her husband?â you mom asked.
you nodded. âweâre going out again, just us tonight.â
your mother gave you a small smile while you dad kept staring. âhave fun, sweetheart.â
your dad, however, put his book down and looked at you above the rim of his glasses. âare you gonna be okay?â
âalan, this will be good for her!â
but your dadâs eyes never left your face. âyouâll call if you need something?â
âandrewâs a good guy, dad.â or at least, you were assuming so. youâd only met the guy one other time and he seemed alright.
but you could see the look in your fatherâs eyes, you could hear what he wasnât saying.
so was matthew.
you swallowed and nodded at your parents. your phone pinged with a notification that your uber was outside. âiâll be back.â
the drive to the bar was silent. usually, you wouldnât have taken an uber, but you were unsure how drunk you would get tonight. the date could go well, it could be everything you wanted, even if all you wanted was matthew.Â
but you were prepared for the worst. you were prepared to drink until you couldnât see straight just to get through the night.
andrew was a nice guy, but he wasnât who you wanted.
and you hated yourself for it.
the uber pulled up to the bar. and simply because he didnât kidnap or talk to you, you gave the driver five stars.
andrew was waiting at a high top table for you, a glass of water ready to go. you waved at him and carefully made your way across the room, avoiding people and drinks and people with drinks.
âhey,â he greeted.
you gave him a small smile. âhi.â
âwas traffic bad on your way here? i wasnât sure, given that itâs friday and what not.â
you shook your head. ânot too bad.âÂ
câmon, think of something. say something. anything.
âcrazy busy tonight, huh?â you wanted to facepalm. that was what you came up with? all the words in the world and that was what youâ
âyeah,â andrew cut off your mental tirade. âi think some famous guys are here tonight, heard murmurs of it.â
you nearly broke out into a cold sweat. âd-do you know who?â
andrew shrugged. âi didnât ask, i just heard someone talking about it when i was getting a drink.â then, like he finally realized, he snapped. âdo you want anything? i can grab it for you.â
you gave him your drink order with a smile. he tapped the table with his knuckles before promising he'd be right back.
you traced the grain of the table with your finger, allowing it to feel the grooves and water stains left from other customers. it felt awkward, sitting by yourself with no one to talk to. andrew said he'd be back, but the bar was busy, it could be ten, fifteen minutes before he'd come back.
your phone buzzed.
simone:Â
howâs it going?
you smiled despite yourself.Â
you:
heâs nice. he went to get me a drink.
you put your phone down to look around the bar. it was busier than normal, or at least, what you thought was normal.
you were scrolling through your social media feeds when andrew finally came back. he had your drink in hand with a smile on his face.
âsorry, the line took forever,â he said.
you glanced at the bar to see a small crowd of people. âdoesnât surprise me,â you said. âfridayâs are usually busy.â
âyeah especially when thereâs two hockey players in town. heard someone at the bar talking about it, thought you might wanna know. simone said you were a fan?â
your stomach dropped to your feet. you took a hefty sip of your drink to avoid andrew seeing a frown on your face. there was a chance that it was a blues player still in town, but your gut knew better. if you were a betting woman, you'd bet your last dollar on it being brady and matt.
you wanted to throw up.
instead, you chugged the drink.
âwhoa, you okay?â andrewâs eyes widened a little, maybe in concern, but there was something about the smirk on his face that said otherwise.
you gave him a shaky smile. âjust fine. can i get another drink?â
he smiled immediately and got up to get you another.
and another.
and another.
your vision was blurring a little when you tried to cut yourself off, even as andrew was sliding another glass in front of you. you threw the drink back again, not even blinking at it.
matt and brady could be here. it was too soon to see them again, you weren't prepared to see them again. maybe if you drank enough, youâd black out and forget all about tonight.
but then andrew was grabbing your elbow, he was leading you towards the door, encroaching upon your personal space. his lips were on your neck, whispers of what he had planned for you.
your skin crawled, you wanted him off of you, but your arms were sluggish, you were tripping over your feet and he was the only thing holding you up.
âno,â you slurred. âlemme go.â
but he either didnât hear you or was ignoring you because he kept dragging you to the door.
then the panic set in.
it felt like it came out of nowhere, but maybe the surmounting panic was always there like a loyal friend. you tried squirming out of his grip, shoving at his chest, but the panic was building the longer he held onto you. your head was shaking furiously, your mouth doing its best to protest, but it was like the alcohol made your tongue heavy.
âlemme goââ you tried shoving one more time before you heard a shout in the distance.Â
âhey!â you werenât aware of the people around you being shoved to the side, you were unaware of the rage surrounding you. you were unaware until andrew was ripped away and you were being shoved into another body.
âmatt heyââ
brady. you were right, brady was here.
god you loved brady.
âbrady?â you slurred, smiling lazily up at him. âyouâre here! whyâre you here?â
with one arm, brady kept you pressed to him, but he wasnât acknowledging you. his eyes were focused on his brother holding the collar of your date.
oh. your date.
there was no rhyme or reason for the feeling of horror that washed over you when you realized what almost happened before matt and brady showed up.
you were gonna throw up.
or pass out.
you werenât sure when you started hyperventilating, but it felt like the walls were closing in. was the music always this loud? was matt always that loud when yelling? you wouldnât know, he hardly ever yelled at youâ
âhey,â bradyâs gentle voice sounded it your ear, but it was like you were hearing it from underwater. âhey, breathe, itâs okay. youâre safe now.â
the funny thing about hyperventilating is no one wants to be hyperventilating. itâs similar to worrying in that telling someone to stop worrying is ineffective. brady telling you to breathe wasnât helping because it wasnât like you wanted to be light headed and struggling to get oxygen.
your mind was just racing with the thoughts of what almost happened.
were your hands shaking? or was the world just rocky? was it the alcohol? why did andrew give you so much? was he planning onâ
oh god.
oh god.
âmatt!â bradyâs voice again sounding like a deep echo in a cave, one you could barely hear. âmatt, i think he got the point, she needs you.â
did you?
but it didnât matter what you thought, because you were being gently pulled into a pair of arms you wouldâve recognized anywhere. you could be deaf, blind, and mute, you couldâve had your nose plugged so you couldnât smell his aftershave and you still wouldâve known it was matt. his arms were the only ones that felt like home.
maybe it was the way your head tucked under his chin perfectly, or the way you could hold your own hand when you wrapped your arms around his waist. maybe it was the way matt tried to fit you into his ribcage whenever he hugged you.
âhey,â his voice was quiet, hoarse from the yelling probably. âyouâre okay, iâve got you. nothingâs gonna hurt you, not while iâm here.â his lips were on the top of your head, mumbling the words into your hair.
âheâhe was gonnaââ
matt was shushing you, running a hand up and down your back. âdo you wanna go outside? get some fresh air?â you nodded against his chest, a place you used to lay your head on at night.
matt walked you outside, brady not far behind. he was supporting most of your weight. you were still incredibly drunk even if the event that just happened sobered you up a little.
your hands were still shaking, your knees a little weak, though you werenât sure what the original cause of that was. if it was from alcohol, the sleazy date, or just being held by your ex, you werenât sure.
what a year tonight has been.
your heartbeat slowed down as you listened to mattâs. his hand continued to rub your back in long lines.
âyouâre okay,â he continued to say. âiâm not gonna leave you. youâre safe right here, baby.â
your heart soared at the pet name until gravity kicked in and you were right back where you started.
rock bottom.
you pushed away from matt, now that your heart rate had decreased. you stumbled a bit from the lack of stability, but you managed to right yourself before matt could get his hands on you to help you balance.
âyou okay?â he asked.
âno,â you mumbled, shaking your head despite the world feeling like it was spinning too fast already. âno. iâm not okay.â
matt took a step towards you, it was like watching a film in slow motion, seeing his face fall as you immediately took a step back.
âbaby iââ
âstop! stop calling me that!â you yelled even as your words slurred, throwing your hands up in the air before pulling at your hair. âyouâyou donât get to call me that, not anymore. and you certainly donât get to ride in like some white knight coming to my rescue either!â
âwhatâre youââ he cut himself off before running a hand down his face. âhe was going to hurt you, i wasnât going to let that happen!â
maybe it was the alcohol that made you more honest than normal. âwhy? you donât seem to care what happens anyway?â
âwhat the hell are you talking about? i would never let someone hurt you, not if i can stop it.â
âbut you had no problem hurting me? leaving me in a country alone?â
mattâs jaw dropped. âyou canât seriously be comparing the two. heâhe almostâhe had every intention ofââ but he kept cutting himself off. and by the looks of his clenched fists, it was hurting him more just thinking about it.
and he was right, what almost happened with andrew and what actually happened at the hands of matt were two different things, but it hurt more from matt, the man who swore heâd be at your side, to love you through it all. heâd dropped you like a bad habit and was expecting everything to be normal again? like you hadnât spent over half your life completely in love with him?
you sighed, your shoulders sagged, all fight evaporating your body once more. âthanks for help, iâll see you around.â you turned on your heel and nearly ran into brady, whom you forgot was even there.
âlet me drive you home,â brady said. ââs the least i could do.â
brady at least let you sit shotgun this time, with matt in the back. and when he pulled up to your house, matt was the one to walk you to the door like he had many times before.
âcan we talk?â he asked. âsometime this week? or next? or whenever you're free?â
you looked at him, really looked at him. his hands shook at his sides and you longed to hold them in your own to steady them like he did for you earlier. âwhyâre you doing this to me? why canât you just leave me be?â
matt stared at you before he pressed his lips together. he looked off to the side almost like he was looking at brady waiting in the car or a scrap of self control, or maybe just the right words to say. âi donât think iâm capable of letting you go.â
your voice caught on the words in your throat. âi need you to try, matt. because i canât keep doing this. you canât call me baby when iâm not your baby anymore.â
he nodded. âjust one conversation, i promise.â
you should say no. you should just let it go, but you didnât think you could deny matt anything if he really asked for it. âokay,â you said. âjust one conversation.â
#matthew tkachuk imagine#matthew tkachuk x reader#matthew tkachuk#nhl imagine#nhl imagines#nhl blurb
582 notes
·
View notes
Text
both sinners (part two)
pairing drugdealer! rafe cameron x female reader
rating explicit 18+
content warning drug use
summary as a stripper, youâre well aware that someone you know could walk into the club at any moment. when rafe is your newest customer, youâre actually glad to see a familiar face.
{ masterlist }
*+:â
:+*âââ*+:â
:+*âââ*+:â
:+*
When Rafe wakes up in his bed, bits and pieces of last night drift into his mind.
He remembers watching you on stage. And touching you while you danced on his lap. And going upstairs with you.
And at the end of it all, asking for your number. But he canât place if you actually gave it to him.
When he finds your contact info in your phone, heâs relieved. He wants to replay last night. It felt like a dream. He texts you: when are u working next?
You eventually reply: lol you asked me this like ten times last night
Rafe: and whats the answer
You: friday
His lips twist in frustration. He canât wait that long.
Rafe: are u coming to my party tonight
You: wasnât planning on it
Rafe: well plan on it
You look down at your phone in amusement. Youâd overheard the girls at work talking about this in the dressing room before. Some customers do this - they get infatuated by a stripper, by the fantasy of you being their plaything.
Unless the customer is a creep, going along with it is basically a guarantee of a steady flow of cash from them. The thing is, you donât really have to play it up. You genuinely had fun with Rafe.
You tease him in your reply, texting: hmm fine i guess.
Youâd been at Rafeâs house for parties a few times before, but every time, the vastness and luxury of his home nearly jolts you.
The place is swarming with partygoers, music loud and conversations louder. Youâre with your group of close friends, some fellow dancers and some not, as you make your way through the crowded foyer.
When you spot Rafe sitting on a couch, counting and fanning out $20 dollar bills of what youâre sure is his drug money, you let your friends know youâll find your way back to them.
When you approach him, you put a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looks up, a smile spreading on his face as soon as he realizes itâs you.
âDo I owe you for the bump last night?â you ask him. He stops to think about it.
âYeah, actually, you do.â
âNo problem. I made a lot of cash last night,â you tease. Nearly half a thousand dollars solely from him, to be exact.
He takes your wrist and pulls you down onto his lap. You giggle, placing an arm around his shoulders as he encircles you in his arms, the cash now a bundle in his fist.
Heâs so damn possessive. And grabby.
âYouâre not paying me back that way,â he murmurs to you. You smirk, looking down at his mouth.
Rafe is already getting hard. The feeling of you on his lap, your ass pressed against his thigh, your short dress, that smile⊠Fuck.
âDidnât see that coming,â you say sarcastically.
He cradles your jaw to kiss you. He loves the feeling of claiming you in public like this. Thereâs something so fucking hot about being the one youâre choosing to be with when so many other men thirst over you.
âWhat the fuck took you so long to get here?â he rasps.
âDid we make an appointment?â you flirt. He grips your thigh hard, biting his bottom lip.
âGet up,â he says, shuffling beneath you. Excitement tingles through you as he stands and takes your hand to lead you through the groups of rowdy people.
On the way upstairs, a guy stops Rafe asking to buy a gram, but he only pats his shoulder and tells him heâll find him later. Youâre his priority right now.
His bedroom is massive, with floor-to-ceiling windows facing the beach. You can only hear the waves and faint music and your own heartbeat as Rafe shuts the door, making sure to turn the light on.
Heâs going to see all of you this time, with no dim club lighting shadowing any part of your body.
He immediately pushes up against you, his groin at your ass.
âTake it off,â he mutters. Youâre used to undressing for men, but doing it for Rafe is ecstasy. You canât wait to feel him inside of you.
You hike up your dress and pull it off to feel his hands on your bare skin immediately. Heâs rough as he squeezes your tits and trails a hand down between your legs, pressing his fingers up against you.
âNo stupid fucking rules here,â Rafe says.
âNot like youâd follow them.â
He smiles. Youâre right. Heâs been looking forward to fucking you how he wants you to. The handjob last night was mind-blowing, but he wants you entirely, to absolutely ravage you.
Arousal twists inside you as he rubs the tips of his fingers up and down over your panties.
âBend over,â he orders. You obey, feeling his hand on the back of your neck, forcing you down. You put your hands on the plush rug.
Your legs are spread and your ass is in the air as he pulls your underwear down to your knees. His hands run over your bare cheeks, then spread you open.
Rafe exhales sharply. Youâre fucking perfect. He lowers onto his knees and when you feel his tongue against your cunt, you tremor, almost losing strength in your legs.
âDonât move,â he says against you. With your hands and feet on the floor, he starts to languidly lap at you. His tongue dips and glides, his breath hot against you with his fingers still digging into your flesh.
Youâre dizzy. From the pleasure. From the way your body is bent over. From the ache you feel for him.
One of his hands slides off your ass, and within moments, you feel two of his fingers push into you.
âShit,â he groans in a whisper. He starts to scissor his fingers, earning moans from you. âYouâre so fucking tight. I donât know if Iâll fit.â
From the way his cock felt in your hands last night, youâre not so sure, either.
âWeâll make you fit,â you say through shallow breaths. Rafe grins to himself. That was the best thing you couldâve said.
You feel him withdraw his fingers. The sound of him unzipping his pants makes you arch your back in anticipation. Big hands push your hips down to guide you onto your knees.
You bite your bottom lip, drunk on the feeling of his fascination with you. Heâs going to take you right here on the floor; he couldnât even wait another few extra seconds to get you on his bed.
Rafe strokes himself, hungrily looking down at your slick core. He pulls out the condom he was keeping in his back pocket specifically for this, opening the package and rolling it on.
You look back once you hear the crinkling of the wrapper.
âThey make those in your size?â you purr, stroking his ego. At this point, youâre professionally trained in making men feel good about themselves, but right now, youâre genuinely complimenting him because you want to.
Rafe breathes a chuckle, his hand running up and down your back. Heâs never had a girl flatter him like this. Heâs not usually rendered speechless, but you have the power to do it to him.
He lines his tip up against you, his groin stiff, avidity consuming him. When he starts to push into you, he feels you tighten around him. He throws his head back with his mouth agape at the feeling of you squeezing him.
âTell me to stop if I need to,â he says gruffly, slowly sinking in.
âOkay,â you breathe, his hands cupping your hips. The pressure is unreal as he gets deeper, and you feel your body tense.
âWait,â you say, head hanging. You breathe in and out slowly, feeling his thumbs rubbing over your skin as he waits for you. After a few breaths, youâre ready.
âOkay,â you say. âKeep going.â
He continues to slowly dig into you and once he reaches in to the hilt, his hips against your ass, you wriggle to get used to him.
âGood?â he huffs.
âYeah,â you say, rocking back. He smirks at the way youâre pushing against him. He pulls back, then drives back into you, pleasure filling him.
His pace quickens and soon heâs slamming into you, the sounds of your wet skin slapping together and your heavy breathing taking over the room.
Rafe feels nothing but pure euphoria as he fucks you, looking down at his cock disappearing into your perfect cunt. Your ass shakes with every thrust, reminding him of how you danced last night, of how he wants to keep coming to the club to watch the way you own the stage and writhe on that damn pole.
He cums in hard, long pulses, his fingers digging into your hips so hard that it hurts. Once heâs done, he watches the way your dripping cunt slowly wanes after being stretched out by him.
You turn to look at Rafe as he stands and pulls off the condom, his load pooled at the end of it. He is absolutely disheveled. His hair is a mess and sweat sheens his forehead.
âGet on the bed,â he says through heavy breaths.
You go to lie down on his plush sheets while he gets rid of the condom, and when he comes back, he lies on his front and immediately dips his head between your legs.
You arch your back and breathe out a sigh of surprise. He actually wants to make you cum, instead of only chasing his pleasure. Youâre glad heâs not as selfish as his ego makes him out to be.
You dig your fingers into his soft hair as he runs his tongue up your middle. When he starts to flick it over your clit, he looks up to make eye contact with you.
The way your lips part and your brows furrow in pleasure is so fucking pretty to him.
Youâre on fire as he licks and sucks, his hands resting on your inner thighs to keep your legs spread wide.
âYou taste so fucking good,â he rasps.
âYeah?â you moan, feeling like youâre withering beneath him.
âIâm the only guy youâre seeing, right?â he says, hopeful, already angry at the mere idea of you fucking around with other men.
âRight,â you say. He nods and continues to work his mouth on you, his jaw getting sore, until an orgasm rolls through you.
When Rafe watches the way you tremble and hears the way you whimper, he decides he wants to make you cum whenever he gets a chance to simply so he can watch you do this.
As you come down from your peak, Rafe takes out his wallet and drops a few $100 bills on the bed beside you.
âYou donât have to pay me,â you impulsively say. Damn. It might be stupid to turn down any money heâs willing to give you.
âI want to,â Rafe says to your relief. Maybe youâll get used to his money, he hopes. Itâll keep you around.
He looks down at your naked body with a satisfied grin. He always thought you were hot when he saw you at parties, but had he known fucking you would be like this, he would have made a move a long time ago.
Or heâd have gone into that strip club much sooner.
He waits for you to get dressed before you head downstairs together. He continues to party and sell coke, not letting you leave his sight.
The following Friday night, you sit in the club dressing room, putting the finishing touches on your makeup before your shift.
When you step out onto the stage, you canât see the audience clearly, but you know Rafe is watching. He told you he would be.
Rafe sits near the back, sipping a drink, watching you in amazement. Youâre in a flimsy, sheer pink dress. Itâs hiding absolutely nothing. He canât believe he gets to fuck you.
This is a new, conflicting sensation. He likes that so many men want you and only he gets the satisfaction of being inside you, but so many eyes on you makes him jealous at the same time, like these strangers even imaging fucking you is too much.
Maybe he canât take this like he thought he could.
He watches you writhe and grind and twist on the pole, his dick hardening. Heâs definitely fucking you after you clock out.
When you saunter off the stage towards a booth of older men, something ugly twists in his stomach.
This was inevitable. This is your job. Youâre going to dance on other guys. Of course you are. But nothing he tells himself makes it better.
Rafe canât look away, even though he should.
You smile at the stranger, your hands on his shoulders as you say something to him. He watches the man dip a bill into your bra strap.
Rafe takes another swig from his glass, the alcohol cold in his mouth.
When he sees the man reach to squeeze your chest and you swat him away, rage consumes him. He stands up quickly, still trying to somehow restrain himself, knowing you probably deal with this shit all the time.
But the man tries to grab you again.
And thatâs fucking it.
Rafe rushes to the booth and grabs the motherfucker by the collar, his fist meeting his jaw hard.
(part three)
if you want notifications on when i post my fics, follow @xorafe-library and turn on notifications đ
#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#obx smut#rafe fanfic#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe fic#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron and you#rafe cameron and reader#rafe cameron and y/n
669 notes
·
View notes
Text
And I Wouldnât Marry Me Either
Pairing: Tom Holland x singer!reader
Synopsis: you release some songs about Tom after a disagreement ends in a breakup
Masterlist
âMarry me.â
âRight now? But I just got comfortable.â Tom mumbled into his pillow with a sleepy smile.
âIâm serious.â You whispered through a laugh and shook his shoulder. Tomâs eyes slowly opened and he could see the blurry outline of you lying next to him in your bed.
âWhat?â
âIâm just thinking.â You began. âWeâve been together five years.â
âIâm aware.â Tom laughed and snuggled back into his pillow.
âSo we should do it. We should get married.â You propped yourself up on your elbow to look at him.
âWe are married. Everyone knows youâre my girl.â Tom said without opening his eyes and pulled you into his arms. He tried to go back to sleep but you still wanted to talk.
âI know.â You laughed. âBut I want to make it official.â
âWhat, in Gods eyes and all that? I didnât think you cared about that.â He laughed dismissively and rolled over. You sat up fully in the bed and looked down at him.
âItâs not about that. I want the flowers and the dress and the rings. Donât you want that?â You asked and shook him a little to clue him in that you were trying to have a serious conversation. You watched Tom shrug and roll onto his back to look up at you.
âI donât know. I always found weddings kinda dumb.â
âWhat? What do you mean dumb?â You forced a laugh and tried to hide the disappointment in your tone.
âI mean, like, theyâre not even legally binding. Itâs this whole big celebration that people spend their life savings on just to get drunk and slid rings on each other fingers. You still have to go to the courthouse to get married and even thatâs just a piece of paper.â
âOh. I didnât realize you felt that way.â You laughed shortly and picked at your nail polish to look busy.
âI didnât realize you felt a different way.â He said and rolled back onto his stomach. Tom closed his eyes to go back to sleep and you felt your heart sink in your chest. You got out of the bed and opened the curtains a little to distract yourself with the view. You touched the silky white curtains and smiled to yourself as you thought of all the pictures of white dresses you had saved on your Pinterest throughout the years.
âIâve always dreamed of my wedding.â You said over your shoulder. âI think every little girl does at some point. Every rom com I grew up on ends with the perfect fairy tale wedding. I always wanted that. I wanted my happy ending.â
âBut those are just movies. I bet half those couples wouldnât last in real life.â
âBut itâs sweet that they plan that special day together and then get to celebrate their love in front of all their family and friends.â
âYeah, all that planning just so they can get divorced before the first year is up.â Tom snorted. âI think the whole idea of weddings are stupid. I mean, you spend all that time and money planning for a one day event that people will just attend for the free booze. Plus, women starve themselves for months and spend thousands of dollars on a dress theyâll wear once? It doesnât make any sense.â
âWow. Tell me how you really feel, Tom.â You laughed shortly and folded your arms to glare at him. Tom sensed your tone and sat up in bed to pay better attention.
âI just think itâs all so ancient.â He shrugged. âIâm surprised you donât agree. Weddings cannot exist without all the bullshit sexist traditions. I mean, the white dress to symbolize the brides supposed purity, the father of the bride literally âgiving her awayâ to another man after being asked permission to get engaged in the first place, and then to top it off with her taking his last name because sheâs now his property or something. Itâs all so trivial and perverse.â
âIt doesnât have to be like that. Those traditions may be rooted in old fashioned thinking but I think itâs sweet to ask for my fathers permission. And yeah, I do want my dad holding my hand and walking me down the aisle. Heâs not giving me away to be another manâs property, heâs standing by my side as I enter a new chapter of my life. Which is why I want my mama right there on my other side. Plus, lots of people hyphenate their last names nowadays. It doesnât have to be this monstrous sexism fest youâre making it out to be.â You rolled your eyes and walked into the bathroom that was attached to your bedroom. Tom frowned when you shut the door. You usually left it open a crack when you did your morning skincare routine, but today, you were shutting him out. Tom got out of bed and walked into the bathroom to see you. You didnât look up at him as you washed your face.
âCome on. Are you seriously mad because I dissed your rom coms?â Tom said as he put his hands on your hips and kissed your shoulder.
âIâm not mad about that.â You mumbled and brushed him off.
âThen what are you mad about, sour patch?â He teased and kissed your shoulder again.
âIâm mad because Iâve been getting my nails done weekly leading up to our five year anniversary just in case you proposed and you just told me thatâs never even crossed your mind!â You exclaimed as hot tears of embarrassment brimmed your eyes. You stormed out of the bathroom and when Tom processed what you had said, he followed after you.
âI donât believe in marriage, okay? I think itâs unnecessary. Why canât we just live like this forever? Whatâs the difference?â
âThe difference is pretty big. But I guess you donât see it like that.â You shrugged and kept walking away from him.
âCan you honestly tell me what would be different between us if we signed a stupid piece of paper at the courthouse or didnât?â Tom said as he put his hands on your shoulders to keep you in place for a second.
âThe difference is Iâd be your wife and not just the pathetic girlfriend who stayed even though you didnât lock it down.â You raised your voice at him and pushed his hands off of you.
âSo you only want to get married because you care what people think? How romantic.â Tom rolled his eyes at you.
âThatâs not the only reason. I want to get married because itâs important to me. Itâs a public commitment where we promise to love and protect each other forever. I want that.â
âIâm sorry, but I donât. I donât need a ceremony to do that. I can promise you that right here.â Tom calmed down and took your hands.
âBut thatâs not special.â You sighed and withdrew your hands.
âIf you donât find that special then maybe you donât love me as much as you think you do.â Tom said, immediately regretting it.
âWhat?â You whispered and looked into his eyes to see if he was serious.
âLook, darling, Iâm sorry.â He said softly. âI just donât see the point in marriage. I donât need to prove I love you with a ring and wedding. I chose to love you every day. Thatâs enough for me.â
âWhat if itâs not enough for me?â You genuinely asked him as you wondered it for yourself.
âThen maybe you need to stop being so shallow and materialistic and ask yourself if youâre with me because you love me or because you want to play out some childhood fantasy that you saw in a stupid movie.â He shouted.
You both instantly got quiet. You were quiet for a very long time.
âI didnât even mean that.â
âI donât even care.â Your voice cracked as you grabbed your purse and slammed the front door behind you when you left.
âIs this one okay?â Harrison asked, pulling Tom out of his daydream. He replayed that fight over in his head about a dozen times a day. If his mind wasnât occupied by something at all times, heâd perform an autopsy on that last conversation with you to try and understand what he shouldâve done differently.
âWhat?â Tom asked without looking at his friend. He was too busy staring at the seat you always used to sit in at the kitchen counter.
âCan I use this one?â Harrison repeated and held up a muted purple mug as the tea kettle went off in the background. Tom tore his eyes away from your chair and when he saw the mug, all he could picture was your lipstick stain that used to stain it.
âThatâs Y/nâs mug.â Tom said, descending a chill over the room. Harry and Samâs attention was caught and they looked at Tom to see where this conversation was going.
âOh. Sorry. Iâll put it back.â Harry said and quickly went to put it back in the cabinet.
âItâs fine. Sheâs not using it.â Tom shrugged. Everyone looked at each other as the awkwardness became palpable.
âHowâs sheâs doing?â Sam asked and sipped his tea to seem less interested than he really was.
âSheâs good. Shes been recording some stuff at her New York studio. New music and whatnot.â Tom replied. He didnât know this because you told him. He knew this because heâd been stalking your fanpages for every possible sighting of you.
âHave you guys talked lately?â Harry asked.
âNot really. Not since she left.â Tom admitted without looking up at his friends.
âYou guys didnât break up, did you?â Harrison asked, worsening the icy tension. Tom froze at the question for a minute and then shrugged. He didnât really know what the answer was. In the weeks youâd been gone, youâd make small talk sometimes about work and the weather, but it never went beyond that. It was more to be polite. You kept in touch enough to know what the other was up to on a weekly basis, but you both knew you were dragging out something that had died. You wanted Tom to just say it was over already instead of pretending everything was normal, but he was never going to do that.
âI donât know. We left things kinda up in the air.â Tom replied. The boys exchanged glances and Harrison nodded to let them know he was gonna take charge.
âUp in the air?â He questioned.
âYep. Up in the air. Ambiguous. Vague. Open to interpretation. Call it what you want.â Tom shrugged again like it didnât matter, but it did.
âWell what was the last thing you said to each other?â Harry wondered.
âShe said she needed some space and was going to New York. And I said okay.â Tom recalled.
âWhat about before that?â
âI donât know. We didnât talk much in the days leading up to her leaving.â Tom replied and took a long sip of his tea.
âShe didnât speak to you?â Sam asked.
âShe did.â Tom nodded. âSometimes.â
âYou didnât speak to her?â Harrison asked, already knowing the answer.
âI didnât have anything to say.â Tom shrugged. Nobody spoke a word, but all the boys were thinking the same thing. They knew how bad this was, and that it signaled the end of your relationship.
âWhat?â Tom asked when he noticed the shift in vibe.
âIâm just surprised.â Harrison shrugged. âYou guys were never like this. I canât even remember your last fight.â
âWe didnât fight. You canât fight when you donât speak.â Tom said with a sarcastic smile.
âYou should call her.â Harry suggested. âItâs gonna be at least a week since sheâs been there, right?â
âFour weeks.â Tom corrected without meeting anyoneâs else.
âMate, you gotta call her.â Harry said quietly and put his hand on Tomâs shoulder.
âI canât.â Tom shook his head.
âWhy not?â
âShe canât break up with me if I donât talk to her. As long as we donât have that conversation, weâll still be together.â
âIâm not sure thatâs how it works, Buddy.â Harrison said apologetically. Tom sucked in a sharp breath and looked at his friend with tears brimming his bloodshot eyes.
âI donât know what else to do.â He said with a crack in his voice.
âOh shit.â Sam said suddenly, getting everyoneâs attention.
âWhat?â Tom asked.
âSheâs dropping a song tonight. She just announced it.â Sam said and showed Tom your Twitter. Tom took Samâs phone to read your announcement better. Sure enough, you had posted a picture of you dramatically lying across a piano bench with your left hand covering half of your face. You had a ring on every finger except for your ring finger, a detail that wasnât lost on Tom. He handed Samâs phone back and look at the floor.
âYou didnât know about this?â Sam asked, and Tom shook his head. Heâd gone from being the first person you played every song for to finding out on Twitter that you had a song coming out.
âWhatâs it called?â Harrison wondered. Sam looked down at his phone to read the title and gulped.
âWho cares?â Sam forced a laugh and put his phone away.
âWhatâs it called?â Tom asked again.
âYou Donât Know Me Anymore.â Sam mumbled. Tom shut his eyes and hung his head in shame. He hadnât even heard the song yet but knew it was going to be bad news.
âWhen does that come out?â He asked Sam.
âMidnight. Tonight.â
Tomâs friends stayed with him all day until midnight rolled around. At 11:58, Tom placed his laptop on the kitchen table and opened YouTube. He knew you always released lyric videos when you dropped a new song and he needed to reach every single world you said. When midnight came, he refreshed his screen and clicked on your video. The background image was a picture of you looking in a mirror with messy hair. You had digitally added sparkly, purple tears to run down the still image of your face. You played a couple notes on the piano before the lyrics appeared beside your face in your handwriting.
âI wish youâd just put me out of my misery
You already know Iâm at your mercy
I donât know why youâre dragging this out
You have all the power, if thatâs what this is about
Iâm not gonna be the one who walks away
So I need you to say what you want to say
I already know itâs over so just let it end
Please donât give me the pity of asking to stay friends.â
âI donât think we should be listening to this.â Sam said as he paused the video.
âPlay it.â Tom demanded. Sam sighed and pressed play while the other exchanged looks.
âIâve been feeling you leaving
I hate this part more than the ending
The moments leading up when I know your heart has changed
I donât know why we keep pretending
If itâs done just say itâs done
Donât just change your mind and not tell me
I already know so just let me go
Donât just watch as I sit and bleed.â
âI donât think-â Sam began as he paused it again.
âStop pausing it.â Tom cut him off. âPlay it. I need to hear it.â
Sam pressed play again and Tom pulled the laptop over to himself so he could control it.
âCause I cut my hand on that first crack in the glass
I feel the icy air between us when you pass me
So I took your chain off from around my neck
Iâll think of something else your initial can stand for
You donât deserve to see me wearing it anyway
You donât know me anymore.â
Tom didnât realize he had started to cry until his tears his his keyboard. He couldnât see the video anymore from his blurry his eyes had gotten. He wiped his face and leaned on his hands to give the song better attention.
âYou know I would die for you in secret
Like that song I showed you in my car
I donât think you even listened to it
You didnât draw stars around my scars
You drew your arrow and let it fly
Right into my heart and let me die
Actually, I wish that was the curtesy you provided
Instead, you let this love become one sided
And now weâre shattered like a glass that was dropped
You broke my heart until the day that it stopped
You never got down on knee
Even when I crumbled onto both of mine
I wonder if you ever really wanted me
How did you think we were fine?
And at what part did you realize you liked the idea of me?
But who I actually am isnât someone you wanted
I miss who I was before we met
Now I canât go back, Iâm haunted
And you were right not to marry me
If I could walk away from me too, I would
You were right to leave when you did
I know I would too if I could
But Iâm stuck here with myself
Forever scratching and clawing at your door
Keep it all, even my memories
Youâre lucky you donât know me anymore.â
Everyone sat in silence once the song ended. Tom wiped his eyes again but tears just kept falling down his face.
âThat probably wasnât even about you.â Harrison said after a long beat of silence. Tom gave him a look before turning to his brothers.
âWhat do you think?â He asked Harry.
âIt sounds like sheâs hurting too.â Harry shrugged. âI think youâre both waiting for the other to say youâre broken up.â
âWell Iâm not saying it.â Tom stated. âShe has to.â
âAnd if she doesnât?â Sam asked kindly.
âThen we donât break up.â
âAgain, Iâm not really sure thatâs how it works.â
âWell itâs what Iâm going with. Because I canât break up with her.â Tom sniffled and shut the laptop.
âBut you canât go on like this either.â Sam pointed out.
âSheâll come home when sheâs ready.â Tom said, but no one in the room believed him.
And didnât come home for a while.
After another week of silence, Tom flew to New York to see you. He got to your apartment and knocked on your door without any particular plan in mind. You opened it with a smile but when you saw who it was, you tensed up.
âHi.â He said with a sad smile.
âIf you came to to propose to me as some kind of grand gesture-â
âPlease, let me talk.â He cut you off. You sighed and nodded as you leaned against your doorway.
âWe have different opinions. But I donât love or respect anyone more than you. So I am willing to hear your side, which is not something I did last time we spoke about this. I was just listening for what I could rebuttal against. I wasnât actually listening to understand your thoughts and feelings. But Iâm ready now.â He said. You nodded again and seemed to drop the wall that you had put up.
âIt matters to me that we get married.â You told him. âI know you think itâs pointless and doesnât change anything, but it changes things for me. If you picked out a ring, asked my parents permission, and got down on one knee, that would all make me feel special and loved. Those things matter to me in a relationship.â
âOkay. Iâm sorry. I didnât know that.â
âBut now you do know so if you propose, I know youâre just gonna do it to appease me. Iâll always know that you think itâs stupid when I look at the ring.â
âI admit that it found it a little dumb in the past. But it matters to you. And nothing that matters to you can be stupid.â
âI canât get married to you knowing you donât really want it. Itâs not fair to you and itâs not fair to me.â You said and went to close the door.
âBut I canât lose you. My thoughts on marriage literally do not matter to me in the slightest. If itâs important to you and if it is what it takes to make you feel special and loved, then I want it too.â Tom pleaded as he pushed your door back open.
âBut you donât want it. You just donât want to break up.â
âI can put on a tux for a night and suffer through if it means that much to you.â He said with a slight laugh to lighten the mood. Your face changed and he had somehow made the situation worse.
âSuffer?â You asked quietly with a told of your head.
âIâm sorry. That was a poor choice of words. But darling, Iâm saying we can get married. Iâll do whatever it is you want. Why do you still look so upset?â
âBecause you donât get it.â You shook your head. âAnd Iâm afraid you never will.â
âWhat donât I get? I donât understand. Iâm telling you Iâll give you what you want.â
âBut you donât want it too. Thatâs what Iâm trying to say. Itâs the principle, Tom. Remember how disappointed I was that one time when I said I wanted ice cream so we went to the shop but you didnât get anything? I didnât mean I wanted ice cream. I meant I wanted us to get ice cream together so we could eat it and spend time together. This is like that but times a million. You canât compromise on marriage. You either believe in it or you donât. So even if we did get married, it wouldnât mean to you what it means to me. I would always think back to that conversation we had and remember how you really feel about marriage. I keep replaying all the things you said that day in my head. We both know how you feel about marriage and we both know itâs not something you want.â
âSo that one conversation ruined it for you? Completely?â He asked.
âYes, it did.â You answered truthfully. You stared at each other for a minute as both your eyes welled with tears. You both knew youâd reached a stalemate and there was nothing more to be done.
âSo what do we do now?â Tom asked without looking at you.
âI love you. More than Iâve ever loved anyone.â You told him, making him perk up.
âSo do I.â He smiled as tears rolled down his face.
âBut what if thatâs not enough?â You asked him. Tom froze and felt the situation escaping from him fast.
âWeâve been together almost 5 years, darling. Thatâs five birthdays, Christmasâs, anniversaries. You make up so much of my life. Weâre exactly right for each other. Itâs supposed to be you and me in the end. I canât do this with anyone else.â
âAnd I canât do this with you.â You laughed sadly and gestured to him. Tomâs heart dropped in his chest when it became apparent that this was more than just a fight.
âAre you breaking up with me?â
âI think I am.â You nodded. Neither of you could believe the words that were coming out of your mouth but it was too late to take them back.
âDoes marriage really mean that much to you that youâd rather break up instead of just living a long, happy life together?â Tom asked you.
âI guess it does.â You realized. He stood there in shock as you put a hand on his shoulder and brought him closer to kiss his cheek.
âGoodbye, Tom.â You smiled sadly at him and shut your door.
Another month went by and you did not come home. You busied yourself with your music and dove into your next album, but that didnât stop you from thinking about him on midnights when you were left alone with your thoughts. Tom thought about you a lot more often, like every time he saw your face on his TV. He tuned in one night to watch you debut your latest music video of your newest song. His eyes were glued to the TV as the video opened with your back to some brown eyed actor.
âYou say âI donât understandâ and âI say I know you donât.â We thought a cure would come through in time, now I fear it wonât.â You sang with your eyes glued to the floor. The setting changed and you were walking through an apartment that Tom recognized.
âShe filmed this on Cornelia Street?â Tom whispered to himself and sat back on his couch.
âRemember lookin' at this room, we loved it 'cause of the light.â A smiling version of you sang as she walked though the apartment holding the hand of the actor playing Tom. The setting changed again and you were still in the room, but the lights were off and you were sitting alone in the floor.
âNow, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time.â You sang while not looking in the camera. The rest of the video followed in suit. You flashed between happy, golden hued memories with the actor to grey toned solo shots of you sitting alone at your piano or on the floor. The difference in the moods made Tom reminisce on the old times and he wondered how long it has been since he had made you smile the way you were doing in the video.
âStop, youâre losing me. Stop, stop, stop. Youâre losing me.â You sang while looking directly into the camera as a purple heart monitor line ran through the background behind you and eventually flatlined. Tom felt like you were staring right into his soul and realized this was the closest heâd gotten to making eye contact with you in a while. He watched the sad, grey version of yourself split from the happy version and suddenly, there were two of you on the screen while the actor playing Tom ignored them both.
âHow long can we be a sad song till we were too far gone to bring back to life?â The both of you sang while Tomâs counterpart read the newspaper and didnât look at either. He thought of the days leading up to you leaving for New York where heâd be doing exactly that, reading the newspaper to pretend to look busy when he felt you glaring at him. He wiped his face and watched as the scene changed to the three of you at a party. The sad version of you was clinging to Tomâs counterpart defensively while the other version of you yelled at him with a drink in your hand.
âFighting in only your army. Front lines, donât you ignore me. Iâm the best thing as this party.â You yelled and drunkenly stumbled around while the rest of the party watched.
âYouâre losing me.â The grey version whispered into Tomâs ear. He assumed that version represented the part of you that missed him while the other version represented the you that knew it was over. The scene changed again and this time, you were back in the Cornelia Street apartment with an open ring box in the center of the table. There was no ring inside, just a burning flame.
âAnd I wouldnât marry me either. A pathological people pleaser.Who only wanted you to see her.â You said into the camera while Tomâs character threw things into a bag behind you and went to leave.
âAnd Iâm fading thinking do something babe! Say something! Lose something, babe. Risk something. Youâre losing me! Chose something, babe. I got nothing to believe unless youâre choosing me.â The grey version of you desperately said to Tomâs counterpart as she pulled on his arm to beg him to stay. It was like he couldnât see her at all and just kept walking towards the door. The golden version of yourself opened the door and pointed for him to get out while the other version of you jumped in front of him and dropped to her knees to get him to stay. Tomâs character walked right through her and she faded to dust, leaving just the one version of yourself to watch him go. The music stopped and you ended up running after him, but he was already gone. You turned and ran down Cornelia Street but didnât go back into your apartment. You just kept running down the street and turned the block so that the camera couldnât see you anymore. The camera panned out to show the Cornelia Street sign and a violin version of your song by the same name played in the background as the street sign turned grey and faded into dust. The screen turned black and Tom was left alone in the silence.
After another month, he found himself outside your door again. He knocked on it and felt his heart pound until you opened it up.
âTom? What are you doing here?â
âIâm here for you. I came to fix this.â He said simply.
âTom, I donât know that we can fix this.â You said apologetically. It felt amazing to see him, but it didnât change the fact that you ultimately wanted different things in life.
âYou were right. You canât compromise on marriage. And you either believe in it or you donât.â He began before getting down on one knee.
âTom?â You asked skeptically as your eyes went wide. He pulled a ring box out of his pocket and opened it up for you.
âItâs your moms ring. Your dad gave it to her for the third Valentineâs Day they celebrated together in college. She doesnât wear it anymore because itâs one size too small, so she gave it to me when I asked them for permission to marry you.â
âYou asked them?â You smiled in surprise that he had done one of the things you said mattered to you.
âI did. It was a little awkward to find out your mother already knew all about our previous conversations about marriage so you can probably guess how confused I was.â He said with an embarrassed laugh.
âWhat did my dad say?â
âHe said as long as I make you happy, heâs proud to have me join the family.â
âSee? No oneâs giving me away to anyone. Weâre just creating a bigger family for the two of us.â
âI see that now. I see a lot of the points you made. And what your dad said got me thinking.â
âAbout?â
âAll I want is to make you happy. Which is different from agreeing to things I donât want to do to appease you. I do want to watch you walk down the aisle in a dress thatâs been in your Pinterest board since you were 13. I do want to plan the seating arrangement and introduce my weird friends from college to your weird friends from college. I want to plan the entire thing because thatâs something we can do together, and those are my favorite things to do.â
âWhat about the ceremony? And the marriage license? You donât want those things.â
âI didnât at first.â He admitted. âBut after actually thinking about it and reevaluating the opinion I formed before I ever even had a serious relationship, I realized I feel differently. You make me feel differently. I would proudly sign my name next to yours on a marriage license. Because I happen to think our names look pretty good together. And as for the ceremony, I know we canât compromise, but we can collaborate. It doesnât have to be a huge blowout party. It can be the best elements of the both of us. And we can plan it together.â
âThat all sounds very lovely, but it doesnât change the fact that you didnât believe in marriage just a few months ago. Am I really supposed to believe youâve truly changed your mind? What if this is just some grand gesture to win me back that you end up regretting?â You asked him.
âI will never end up regretting promising my love for you in front of our family and friends. Iâll never regret hyphenating our names so that everyone knows Iâm a part of a duo. Iâll never regret choosing to legally attach myself to my vets friend and spend the rest of my life with her. But I can tell you with the utmost assurance that I would regret letting you walk away and become a name I wince at for the rest of my life.â
âYou felt differently not too long ago.â You quietly reminded him. You wanted so badly to believe him, but you couldnât fully trust it.
âI changed my mind. I realized somethings are more important than other things. And that youâre more important than anything.â
Your skeptical expression turned into a coy smile as you slid your hand into the one that wasnât holding the open ring box.
âYou never actually said the words.â You told him, making Tom break into a relieved smile.
âDarling, would you make me the happiest man-â
âEh. Try again. Too cliche.â You cut him off. Tom smiled and shook his head, knowing you werenât gonna make it easy.
âMy love, I donât want to spend another minute as just your boyfriend.â He tried again.
âLame. Thumbs down.â You shook your head and pointed your thumb down.
âWould you do me the honor-â
âYawn.â You interrupted.
âWill you just marry me, you annoying brat?â Tom groaned.
âTom! I thought youâd never ask!â You gushed over dramatically and put your hand over your heart.
âIs that a yes?â Tom asked as he stood up.
âI have to think about it. I donât know if marriage is for me.â You shrugged as he slid the ring onto your finger. You looked down at the ring and remembered the time you tried it on as a little girl and how it didnât fit your finger until now.
âYes. I will marry you.â You smiled as you looked back up at Tom. Tom broke into a grin and scooped you up to spin you around.
âSorry I wrote all those emo songs about you.â You said into his ear, making him laugh.
âItâs okay. Itâs what you do.â He couldnât stop smiling as he set you down. He then pulled you in for a long kiss to make up for all the time you were apart. When you pulled away, he pulled your face back towards him with his hands to kiss your left cheek.
âI see you.â He said, then kissed you right cheek.
âI choose you.â He continued, then kissed your forehead.
âI love you.â He said, the kissed your nose before looking into your eyes.
âAnd I know you.â He told you. You smiled softly and nodded your head.
âYou do?â You asked him. âYou really know me?â
âI do.â
Tag List đ·ïž
@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @serendipitous-amor @tom-hollands-wifey
@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison
@andreasworlsboring101 @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention
@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique
@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @flixndchill
@every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswaveâ â @fiantomartell
@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife
@saysomethingspiderman @smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah
@seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @electraheart-3174 @unbelievableholland
@yourtypicalhotmess @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie
@maybemona @alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom @xo-spidey
#tom holland x reader#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland x singer!reader#tom holland fluff#tom holland angst#tom holland x y/n#tom holland x you
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Heard you were in the mood for some yapping, so here I am lol! That Luke hugging blurb was everything! My supervisor decided that they weren't ruining my life enough, and now ask me to do something and have me completely redo it when I'm finished because they cannot decide on an aesthetic they want. So my daydreams are currently in a "stay at home girlfriend" era lol (please don't judge). Should you decide to quit and give yourself a few months Luke would be the happiest person ever. He gets all day every day with his sweet girl, his favorite person, his bestest friend. He gets pumped at every home game knowing you're there supporting, gets lunches with you to dissect practice or what you've been reading. You try to argue that since he's taken over all the bills, he won't buy you any gifts. He lasts two weeks before caving and buying you something "just 'cause."
âluke!â you screech from the kitchen, causing your boyfriend to come running, socked feet sliding on the hardwood floor.
âwhat? is everything okay? whatâs wrong?â he rushes out, frantic eyes scanning you for any sign of a crisis.
when they fall on the large, open box on the island youâre standing behind, he knows heâs been busted.
âcare to explain?â you cock an eyebrow at him, gesturing to the cardboard box.
luke rubs the back of his neck with his hand, thinking about how to drop the news without you blowing up.
âwellâŠitâs a bag,â he starts slowly, walking towards you.
scoffing, you roll your eyes. âyeah, i can see that itâs a bag. care to explain why thereâs a two thousand dollar designer purse in our apartment right now??â
when luke saw the handbag online the other day, he knew it was something youâd love.
you always talk about how much youâd love to have a good, quality purse, and he couldnât think of anything better quality than designer.
with you having finally agreed to his offer of taking some time away from work, he was on cloud nine always having you around. he loved seeing you in his jersey at every home game (and several road games, too), and he loves how you meet him at the rink most days so the two of you can catch up over lunch or brunch, after morning skates.
one of the things he didnât love about you not working, however, is the fact you told him no gifts for the time being.
luke has never been someone to spend his money on himself. he allowed himself a few frivolous purchases when he signed his rookie contract, but he really only spends his money on things he needs.
for the first few months of your relationship, luke refrained from buying you anything too crazy. a twenty for coffee here, a fancy dinner there, but nothing like what he started buying you once you knew he wasnât just throwing his wealth at you.
he started showering you with random pieces of jewelry and trips and shoes and literally anything else he saw that he wanted to buy for you.
you told him to stop, once, loving how thoughtful he was and how well he knew how to pick out a gift for you, but you didnât want him blowing through all of his contract money on you.
at first, he listened. the gifts stopped and you basked in your victory. but then, the gifts changed from physical gifts to trips, concert tickets, experiences.
as long as luke was able to experience the âgiftsâ with you, you didnât care to reap the benefits, because you could convince yourself he wasnât spending his money on you. you were just a tag along on plans he wanted to do himself.
âyou did say you wanted a good bag to use, so i thought iâd surprise you,â luke shrugged, hoping if he doesnât make it a big deal, you wonât think it is one.
âyeah, i was thinking something along the lines of a tote bag, maybe a leather backpack, not this,â you hold the bag up, refusing to take it out of its protective packaging.
âwell, this is good quality. and itâll last you a long time, so really itâs something you specifically talked about needing,â luke defends himself.
groaning, you start pacing in frustration. âluke, we agreed when i took time off that the money you were spending on me had to stop. youâre already funding my existence right now, so thereâs no reason for you to spend any more money on me than is absolutely necessary.â
luke walks over towards you, stopping your pacing. âhoneybee, calm down. i was just trying to be nice. you seemed a little down lately so i wanted to surprise you with a little pick me up.â
you take a deep breath, calming yourself down. youâre not trying to be a bitch, because you do like the bag, you just donât want luke wasting money on you now that youâre not contributing to any of the bills.
âluke, a âlittle pick me upâ is a coffee, or some ice cream. not a handbag that costs more than what i used to make in a month,â you place your hands on lukeâs forearms, his hands resting on your shoulders while heâs crouched down to be eye-level with you.
âwell, in all fairness they were grossly underpaying you at your old job,â luke ignores the point of your statement, earning another roll of your eyes.
âluke,â you warn.
luke stands tall again, letting out a sigh of defeat.
âyouâre right. i should have asked you first. iâm sorry,â he starts, looking up at the ceiling. âbut iâm not sorry that i bought you something nice that you genuinely need, even if you think it was too expensive,â he finishes, looking back down into your eyes.
you let out your own defeated sigh. the bag is really nice. and you couldnât have picked out a more gorgeous one if you tried.
âjustâŠdonât go so swipe happy next time. if you want to do something nice for no reason again, candy will work just fine,â you step back from luke, grabbing the bag again, allowing yourself to actually unbox it this time.
âno promises,â luke winks at you, walking around the island so he can see the awe on your face as you inspect the bag, knowing the matching wallet is already set to be delivered later this week.
#i donât know if i like this but here it is#alliyaps#luke hughes#luke hughes fluff#luke hughes fic#luke hughes fanfiction#luke hughes x you#luke hughes x y/n#luke hughes oneshot#luke hughes blurb#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes fanfic#hockey#new jersey devils#nhl
234 notes
·
View notes
Text
MY HEART RETURNS
summary. your love is pursuing his dreams as a violinmaker in italy, leaving you to wait for his return. genre. slight angst. fluff. based on whisper of the heart. warnings. some crying. reader feels lost and alone and like she's not good enough :( not proofread. pairing. zhanghao x fem!reader. wc. 1.3k. request. no. a/n. tiånxīn = sweetheart btw. ofc hao is already perfect for the role of seiji cause he plays violin (also he looks like seiji fight me). for all the other writers out there (even tho i don't ever plan to get properly published) we all relate to shizuku so much :') her struggles are so relatable and i just love whisper of the heart so much i think its such a beautiful and underrated ghibli movie. divider by @/aquazero.
The night air nipped at your cheeks as thoughts swirled in your head. Hundreds of worries, feelings, and uncertainties followed you wherever you went, and all you could wish was to be back in high school when everything felt a bit easier. Back with Hao to occupy all your thoughts and in turn take your mind off of everything.
Sometimes you wondered if waiting was really worth it. You were doing your best to pursue your dreams, do well in your final year of university, and throw yourself and your work at different publishers, hoping that one liked you enough to give you a chance. But you felt like a constant failure in comparison to your boyfriend. Youâd always thought opportunities were more beneficial than school. Hao only seemed to prove that to you.
He was working in Italy, getting valuable skills from the masters. You were still stuck in your hometown, going to the same university everyone else in your family had gone to, trapped in the same system. You wanted to get out, prove yourself, do something meaningful with your life. But did you even have the talent to? Were you even worth it?
On nights where your thoughts just wouldnât leave you alone, you grabbed a handful of Haoâs letters and walked up the hill back to the spot where you used to watch the sunrise with him. You missed him more than anything. Without his presence, you felt lost. There was no one to ground you, no one to reassure you, no one to believe in your flimsy dreams.
You hadnât received a new letter in a while, and you were starting to wonder if it was a post issue, or if Hao was too busy to write. You hoped you would get one soon. It was the start of Winter already, and a breeze blew past you, causing a chill to run up your spine. You hugged Haoâs old jacket closer on your body. It must be even colder in ItalyâŠ
You slid one of the old letters out from its envelope. You were always careful to keep everything intact. From the colourful wax seals to the elegantly written address, to the coarse texture of the fancy paper, everything about it was precious to you. Hao was always meticulous, and his presence could be felt from every detail of the card.
TiĂĄnxÄ«n, how are things back at home? Lonely.Â
How is your writing? Did you finish the last 3 chapters you were struggling to write? I finished the final draft last Saturday. Are you proud of me?
Iâm doing well here, although I never stop missing you. At least one feeling is mutual.Â
Itâs the beginning of Spring as I write this, and the flowers are starting to bloom. Every pink bud reminds me of you. How are you always so romantic, Zhang Hao?
I taught some kids how to hold a violin properly the other dayâ one of them almost dropped it. I swear my life flashed before my eyes. If they had broken it, I couldâve gotten kicked out. They donât know that theyâre handling a piece of wood worth thousands of dollars. As much as it scared me in the moment, spending time with the kids cheered me up. Childhood innocence is an endearing thing, donât you think? It is. Is it bad that I wished you had gotten kicked out just so I could see you sooner? I want you to tell me everything about Italy with your own voice.
Iâm starting to find beauty in things that used to annoy me. Itâs a strange feeling, but I think I could get used to it. The flowers used to only make me sneeze, but now theyâre a gentle reminder of who Iâm living every day for. Children used to get on my nerves, but now I can only think of your baby pictures. I keep working hard every day hoping that Iâll get a break to come visit soon. Iâve been saving up for tickets. Hopefully before Winter, Iâll be back in your arms. Itâs Winter now⊠I miss your arms around me.
Ever yours,
Hao
You could only sigh and blink back the tears that had formed on your waterline. Why did he make you miss him so much? You sniffed, from the emotions and from the cold. It was getting even later in the night, and while you didnât want to leave your special spot, you also needed sleep.
When you got back to your cheap apartment, you sprayed some of Haoâs perfume on your pillow and changed into pyjamas. It was funny how much time went into hunting for the exact fragrance he wore; but you had been thankful for it every single day since you bought it. Any way you could to bring traces of him back to your home was worth it. You fell asleep hugging the pillow tightly and hoping that he would grace you in your dreams.Â
A soft puff of air hit your nose making you scrunch it up. It woke you out of your slumber, but not enough to open your eyes yet. You were in a confused bleary state trying to figure out where it came from. You definitely didnât leave the fan on in the middle of Winter, so whyâŠ?
âTiĂĄnxÄ«n, wake up.âÂ
You blinked your eyes open slowly, furrowing your eyebrows as the view came into focus. Light from the morning sun shone through the window, cascading down until it hit the side of a face. Haoâs face.
âAm I still dreaming?â You whispered. A lump formed in your throat at the thought that you wereâ you must be. How could he be right in front of you? He was still far away in Italy.
He shook his head, a smile splayed on his lips. He moved closer, his weight dipping down on the bed. You could only stare, memorising everything about him. His eyelashes fluttered as his gaze dropped to your hand and he reached to hold it. His hands were warm and the skin of his palm was soft, although his fingertips were roughened by calluses after years of playing strings. He cupped your cheek with his other hand, brushing his thumb against your skin.
âI missed you. Iâm sorry it took so long for me to come visit.â He frowned slightly as he saw tears start to build in your eyes. You squeezed his hand, as if still deciphering whether he was actually real. It had truly been years since he had first gone for his apprenticeship and then got accepted full time to make violins and teach. Although you had communicated through letters, it could never compare to being with him like this.Â
âItâs okay.â You tried to steady your voice, force the lump in your throat down, blink back the tears. But you couldnât with him right there.
âDonât cry.â He wiped your tears carefully, his touch soft as always.
âKiss me. Please?âÂ
And he obliged. He would always do anything within his power to see you happy. If you told him one day to fly to the moon and bring you back a piece of it, he was sure he would find a way, just to see you smile. The feeling of kissing him again was indescribable. Youâd forgotten how it felt to be kissed by his soft lips, how they melded with yours like a dream. As if you two were meant to be.
You knew you always were. Your love story, although it sometimes felt tragic, was like something out of a fairytale. You would never forget the lengths Hao went just to get your attention. How ambitious, determined, and caring he was. He was your constant motivation to keep striving to be better.Â
It was hard to live for your dream while being so far apart from him. Part of you knew that he would have to go back. Maybe in a month, maybe in only a week. Maybe sooner than that. Your heart would break once again saying goodbye to him.
But, for now, as he kissed you in the morning sunlight on your bed, you felt your heart healing from his touch. The long years away from him were a small price to pay for moments as precious as these.Â
âł zerobaseone taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @eternalgyu,, @okshu,, @chewryy,, @haecien,, @sobun1est,,
@emmylksblog,, @talkingsaxy,, @thesunsfullmoon,, @chenleszone,, @sxmmerberries,,
@cupidslovearrows,, @dimplewonie,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @mjupis,,
@kangtaehyunzzz,, @nonononranghaee,, @forever-atiny,, @nicholasluvbot,, @stantxtforabetterlife
#ficsăăâË°#chrimata#zhang hao#hao x reader#zhang hao x reader#zerobaseone#zb1#zb1 x reader#zerobaseone x reader#zhang hao imagines#zhang hao scenarios#zerobaseone imagines#zerobaseone scenarios#zb1 imagines#zb1 scenarios#hao#hao imagines#hao scenarios#zhang hao fluff#zhang hao angst#hao fluff#hao angst#zerobaseone fluff#zerobaseone angst#zb1 fluff#zb1 angst
166 notes
·
View notes
Note
"You are nothing but a toy for me to fuck, little lamb. Now open your mouth for me, or I will break your jaw opening it myself."
đđđ
Well... as you know, this escalated quickly.
Title: Sacrificial Characters/Pairings: Minotaur!Bucky x Botanist!Female!Reader Word Count: 3.5k Summary: If it seems too good to be true, it always is. Always. Too bad you had to go to the remote jungles of South America to learn that lesson.
Content/Concept Warnings: DARK, lulled into a trap, human sacrifice, dubious consent/fuck or die, public sex/exhibitionism, size kink, monster fucking, face fucking/oral male receiving, vaginal fingering/fisting, breast worship, rough fucking, possessive/pet, praise kink, dirty talk, cum play, marking, cream pie, choking
Additional Notes: Thoty time with @rookthorne... she's only responsible for enabling me when my monster thirst reared its head. Wicked entry for @buckybarnesevents WEEK ONE of Hot Bucky Summer: "What Should I Wear?" and my third square of @buckybarnesbingo K1 "Fuck or Die."
When you told your friends, family, and former colleagues about the research grant and fellowship you had been awarded in the weeks leading up to your departure that it was too perfect, clearly somewhere deep in your bones you had known.
Eighty thousand dollars a year for three years, travel covered, visa approved, fully furnished accommodations provided, and a book deal for the discoveries and research studying flora in a largely undocumented and remote part of the jungle on another continent.
No scientist got a deal like that.
The only downside was the isolation of the location. They had electricity and running water, but you would only be able to go into town for internet every few weeks.
But the part of you that had grown up watching Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, LOST, and the deep space missions of Star Trek who had far too many plants in your apartment and in your tiny office at the university had beat back that downside. It was only three years, and after living through the strange isolation of the pandemic, you knew you could manage this where you wouldnât be isolated from people, just for short stints from your old life.
And though you had good pieces and good people in your life, you were desperate to get away from the suffocating societal expectations you felt like you werenât living up to while so many others around you were â marriage, kids, white picket fences, career accomplishments, tenured professorships, promotions, raises, overnight influencers, travel vloggers.
This was something no one you knew had ever done.
Everyone raved about the adventure ahead of you.
Everyone had been impressed.
You had conquered in the accomplishments department with this for the year, no question. Your older sister with her third child on the way and your younger brother and his Premiere League football contract could wallow in your shadow.
This was a golden opportunity for a research botanist still in the early years of their career.
Kneeling on the ground in the middle of the jungle with your hands folded in your lap, head bowed, surrounded by a village of people who all should have known better than to follow ancient superstitions, with a dozen or more guns trained on you in nothing more than lingerie, you were living a nightmare.
All of it had been a baited trap.
No one would even question you falling off the grid before it was too late, and even if they did, these villagers could say one day you never came back from the jungle.
And it would be true.
One afternoon and evening, a good dinner, a sleep youâd yearned for thinking it was the jet lag, and then youâd awoken screaming as the first strip of wax had been ripped from your skin to discover you were naked with a half dozen people attending to all aspects of your grooming, preparing you to be their human sacrifice for the beast that lived in the jungle.
You were past the crying and pleading.
The no WIFI had been a lie, too.
Everyone in this small village looked and acted like they lived in the present day except for this one thing.
The belief that if they did not provide the beast his human sacrifice that they would not survive his terror.
âThen why donât you just leave?â you had implored.
âThis is our home, our loved ones are here, our ancestors are part of this place, and,â their leader and the head of the research foundation paused â almost faltered before continuing to explain, âthe sacrifice of one stranger will guarantee us safety for many, many years.â
Everyone else had been instructed not to speak or listen to you from that point on in the preparations.
Nails trimmed, buffed, shined. Luxurious oil that smelled delicate and heavenly rubbed over every inch of your skin from the neck down. Hair partially braided to stay out of your face with the rest left natural. Color applied to your lips. They didnât bother with eye makeup. No jewelry.
You had been wrapped up in a linen garment that was not quite a robe but not quite a coat to be transported to the ruins of an old stone dais in the thick of the jungle but deprived of it and then pushed onto the sacrificial area, left only in the sapphire silk of a bra and panties delicately lined with lace.
After hours being poked, prodded, and prepared by strangers in a strange land in a state of dread and disbelief, you thought you were numb.
You had endured too much to think you were hallucinating, but that you now all waited illuminated by literal torches with fire made this seem almost like a season of Survivor gone horribly wrong.
But then you heard the hushed wave of whispers at the rustle and rumble of something approaching through the thick vegetation of the jungle and adrenaline shot through your veins. It didnât inspire fight or flight. You were frozen, fixated on the beast that would finally appear and seal your fate any moment now.
It made no attempt at arriving quietly, and when it finally appeared, there were collective gasps and cries from the people gathered to watch the sacrifice, though no sound fell from your lips.
The reaction was more than warranted, and a whisper of a thought flashed through your head that you were surprised no one had screamed. Maybe they were too terrified to scream, worried they would draw the beastâs attention. You wanted to scream, but your chest was gripped in fear.
The thick, furry legs of a bull, down to the cloven hooves, and a girthy tail with a tuft of dark hair at the end, swishing slightly as he walked. There was a loincloth tied at his waist that â rather than providing modesty â inspired anyone whose gaze lingered there to imagine the bulge nudging conspicuously beneath. Not that anyoneâs gaze would linger there for long, for the rest of him was altogether imposing. Only the tallest of the villagers might hope to measure up to the base of his sternum â the sternum that anchored the torso of a man with shoulders more than twice the width of a human. Skin golden from the sun stretched over muscles that burst and rippled over his chest and shoulders, extending down his arms. You could see a litany of angry scars littered up and down his left arm.
Great bullâs horns rose and curled out of his head, possibly longer than your own arms. He had a mane of long, glossy but mostly unruly brown hair, with a couple of braids, that fell past his shoulders. Though the rest of his physique inspired fear, the true terror was perhaps the face of this man beast â it was terrifyingly handsome. Strong jaw, stubbled beard, a crease between his brows, and piercing blue eyes. His expression was drawn into an ominous grin.
He was in no rush as he walked into the ring of the villagers.
âWeapons down,â he growled.
There was almost no hesitation â their purpose had been to keep you in place anyway. Though the fear in the air was palpable, the tone of it seemed to be turning to some sort of reverent fear now for everyone else.
What inspired this unquestioned obedience from an entire people? People youâd seen with smart phones as abundantly among them as any other place on earth, though youâd been advised to shut yours down and leave it behind since it would be of next to no use to you in the jungle. They were right â but had left out the true reason and made it even more believable for you to seem only cut off to those back home, not lost and gone forever.
His enormous legs took the step easily up onto the dais, and his eyes were now fixed only on you. He stopped at the foot of the altar where you were presented for him.
âWell done,â this was meant for the people and their leader.
Then he reached out and the fingers of his large hands traced the strap over your left shoulder, then along your jaw, tilting your chin to look straight up at him. âAnd your choice is set?â
âMy â my choice?â your voice cracked, but you felt it was a miracle you even found it.
Your confusion must have been evident, as his eyes flashed with anger and her rounded on the man who had facilitated all of this. âYou did not tell her anything, did you?â
âI thought it best if ââ
âIt is not your job to think. The thoughtlessness of your people is why weâre here at all,â he snarled. Then he turned back to you.
âNo time for stories now. Iâm a minotaur called Bucky; a lost soldier cursed long ago to this state. Suffice it to say II must be satiated or the village will be subjected to bloodshed and desolation in the face of my wrath. Theyâve chosen you, but you can choose your fate: fuck or die. Iâll take your throat, or Iâll cut it and drink your blood in front of everyone.â
Your chest heaved in trepidation. âHow is that a choice?â
âIs it not clear to you?â
âHave others chosen death?â
He nodded. âOr they refused to choose.â
You opened your mouth then closed it again.
âDo you wish to die?â
You thought your tears were spent, but you could feel them welling in your eyes. âNo.â
âThen claim your choice.â
You took a shaky breath.
âSay it!â he barked.
You flinched, but managed to spit out, âFuck.â
âPerfect. Open up.â
âIn front of everyone?â your voice was barely above a whisper.
He nodded. âThey will remember and mark this sacrifice. It will be the reason they continue to breathe.â
You spread your knees a part so you were still kneeling and sitting back on your heels but his to take like this.
âThatâs nice but not what I meant.â He tugged his loincloth and dropped it to the ground. You whimpered, afraid of the enormous size of his cock and ashamed at the lick of heat that flared in your core at the sight of him. He leaned down closer, put a hand at the back of your neck, and slapped the side of your face with his rigid length. âYou are nothing but a toy for me to fuck, little lamb. Now open your mouth for me, or I will break your jaw opening it myself.â
This drew a handful of muted gasps from the onlookers. You saw a spark of something new in his eyes at this reaction.
He was pleased at their reaction.
You dropped your mouth open for him, nervous knowing you could not take all of him, embarrassed to be on such display in front of these strangers, but wanting to please him.
Wait, you thought, wanting to please him?
He shoved his cock into your wet mouth, shoving any other thoughts immediately out.
âSuck.â
You did.
âJust like that,â he said. The hand on your neck moved up to cradle and command the back of your head. He slowly began to fuck your mouth but with only a small motion, encouraging you to continue sucking just that first bit of cock as it was in your mouth. He still was in no rush. It felt like a power play â not wanting to show impatience or lack of restraint in the onset of this sacrificial claiming.
As he continued to speak now, his voice was low, intended for you. âGet ready for more.â
You looked up at him and tried to nod your head ever so slightly. He smirked, then he brought his other hand up under your jaw and to your throat, wanting to feel himself using you. He groaned and briefly closed his eyes. His tip hit the back of your mouth, and you spluttered. He pulled out slightly, giving you half a moment to recover, then forced the point again, holding himself there while you adjusted. He opened his eyes again, locking back onto yours, and a thrill of terror shot through you again. That was only the preliminary.
Now he would truly begin.
That look was all you got. Keeping the one hand at your throat, the provided the anchor to begin truly fucking your throat, not in a rush, but he picked up the pace. You placed your hands on his thighs to steady yourself. Your muscles initially gagged in protest, but he persisted, stroking your throat with his fingers as well, coaxing you to relax. Tears spilled down your cheeks. You concentrated on breathing through your nose and the steady gaze he kept trained on you. Soon you were taking more of him than you thought you could. He quickened his thrusts into your mouth. Your fingers stretched into the fur on his hips, mewling as he continued to use your mouth.
A few short grunts with the last thrusts were the only hint before he came, shooting his hot spend in your mouth with an unrestrained howl that shook the crowd to their core. There was no way for you to swallow everything, but, if anything, seeing his cum spilling down your chin made him grin.
Then he raised his head to address the villagers. âRemember that you gave this human to me. I will do with her as I please, and you will never see her again. Hope that you never see me again in your lifetime,â his voice carried, his power unquestioned in the clearing. âIf you are lucky, the children you left home today will not see me in their lifetimes either. All of you go now. What happens next is not for your eyes.â
They followed his instructions without hesitation, all of them eager to be gone from this cursed place and their collective and ignored shame.
They left the torches â no desire for a souvenir.
And now you were alone with him, the light of the flames flickering over every inch of your exposed skin â which was almost all your skin, the lingerie only for show.
With the hand that was still anchored at the back of your head, he roughly angled you up sharply to look directly up at him, and tipping his own head forward he loomed in all his height above you, a truly searing heat in this look. âI meant what I said: you are mine, and I will never allow those vile villagers to see you again. Youâre mine to do with as I please.â
He stooped down to claim your mouth in a kiss. His large thumb brushed the remaining spend from your chin and then moved down your throat to brush it over your collar bone, rubbing it in. He pushed his tongue between your lips, and you opened your mouth for him again. His tongue was too big for your mouth, too, but the more he subjected your body to the largeness of his being, the more you seemed to seep into him. He used his tongue to wrap around and tangle with yours, stroking it with his, now and then slipping it further down your throat, teasing, choking, mimicking the actions of his cock not long before.
When you were truly gasping, he chuckled darkly and pulled away, you leaned forward, lips chasing his, and then you shook your head, trying to restore some logic.
Failing.
Bucky easily tore away your bra with his brute strength. âLay back for me, lamb.â
You shifted, legs aching from resting on them in that kneeling position for far too long. He noted the care you took in moving your limbs and rubbed the muscles up and down a few times. Then he pulled your hips to the end of the alter, flush against his cock, which was already semi-hard again. You hummed as he pushed against your still-clothed core.
His hands moved from your thighs up your sides, stoking the desire surging through your body, moving up your waist, thumbs brushing up against the underswell of your breasts, then flicking over the nipples, bringing them to little peaks before diving down to lave one of them with his tongue and suck, rolling, twisting, and pinching the other with his hand. Then he moved his mouth, and as he latched on to the other nipple, his hands worked the lace and silk panties off your hips and down your legs before tossing them away. He rutted up against you again, slow but persistent pressure against your core again, but now with no barrier he felt your arousal slicking up your entrance. When you began working your hips against him, seeking more friction, fisting your hands into his hair, he moved a hand between your legs, stroking over your labia and pushing one of his fingers right into your cunt, making you keen immediately from the force and fullness.
âGoing to ruin you, lamb, but donât want to hurt you.â He was brutal, but only because he was a monster by nature, not because he was heartless. âGotta work your tiny pussy open so you can take me like you were meant to.â
As before, he was patient, making up for the impatience mounting inside you as he worked his fingers into you, circling, questing, stretching, twisting. When he pushed three fingers in he could tell it was a lot, but he knew he needed you to easily receive four if he was going to get to fuck you on his cock the way he wanted. All through it, he was relentless in overwhelming you in other ways, continuing to worship your breasts, but also murmuring praises against your skin, and threatening and promising filthy things that you couldnât even respond to.
When you were thoroughly primed, aching for him, a mess with tears and begging for him, he finally realigned his hips between your legs, forcing your thighs wide to accommodate him. He bumped the head of his cock against your throbbing clit a couple of times, making your whimper repeatedly. You were lost as you lay splayed out above him, eyes tightly shut, hands reaching for him, desperately pleading his name over and over. He bent down to you again, relishing the feel of your breasts brushing against his chest for one more moment before sinking his cock into your cunt with a brutal thrust, pushing clear to the hilt, making you scream. It was wicked, and he knew it, but also knew how much he had worked up your body and your mind, and he was rewarded as you arched beneath him, and wrapped your arms around his neck, adjusted your hips, and then rocked against him, clearly seeking more.
Holding you at the precipice of pleasure for so long meant you crashed into your first orgasm very quickly as he pushed his cock in and out of your, âtight heat, little lamb, taking me so well,â he cooed. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, shuddering as he fucked your through it, groaning at the feel of your walls around him. âNo one else will ever have this cunt now,â he vowed. âYouâre mine.â
âMine,â you echoed without thinking, not knowing it was exactly how he wanted his pet to feel about him. He pushed you over the edge into another orgasm and then spilled his hot seed inside you not long after. You were beyond spent, at that point, and less than a minute after he scooped you up, tucking your legs around his waist, you dropped out of consciousness, and went totally limp. He kissed the top of your head, then shifted you to sling you over his shoulder for the trek to his lair â your home. Heâd secure you there, then go back to the get the wooden crate of the belongings you had shipped ahead of you and the bag you had traveled with â both were supposed to be deposited and waiting in a cave, the final part of his negotiations for acquiring his new human from that village and their foolish leader. Humans were delicate creatures with peculiar needs, after all, and he was determined to keep you content and fucked out until you were devoted to staying with him until the end of your days.
But the last hour had exceeded even his own expectations. He suspected he wouldnât have to try very hard to keep his little lamb.
NEXT PART: Do You Remember
"haunting thoughts" on Sacrificial for the Dark Forest Fest
brief insight into what reader's life is like now
physical appearance of Minotaur!Bucky
easy and challenging parts of writing the fic
the writing of the story from concept to completion in one night
â Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#minotaur bucky#monster fucking#bucky barnes x you#dark!bucky barnes x reader#tw: dubcon#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bbb2023#buckybarnesbingo2023#hotbuckysummer2023#terato#terato fic#minotaur smut#minotaur x reader#female reader
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I was recently fortunate enough to win an auction for a piece of Wedding Peach merchandise I've been unsuccessfully trying to win online for years (at this point, literally decades) and it got me thinking about how lucky I am to not be starting my collection today.
Prices for all older, more obscure magical girl items have ballooned over the past ten years but Wedding Peach merchandise is definitely one of the worst offenders. It's not uncommon to see single manga volumes going for 10k yen, 20k yen or more for the picture books, and let's not even touch on the amount the toys go for (literally several thousand dollars a pop).
In an ideal world we'd have better access to the series itself at least (the Japanese release of the DVDs and manga, for example, are in high demand due to the manga being out of print for something like 28 years and the DVDs being a relatively limited run from 25 years ago). I understand it's unlikely that we'll be getting more fun toys or merchandise for the series, but it is truly bleak when people can't even access the series itself.
This isn't some lost media type thing, this is just capitalism and it solidifies why I feel a sense of duty to ruin my own collection in order to archive what I have. If my house burns down or washes away in a flood, I truly don't think I can restart my collection and have a fraction of what I have now ever again. It's too expensive and too time-consuming, I simply don't have another 25 years up my sleeve to dig through every possible website to try and find scraps of 90s Ciao magazine issues.
In that sense I feel like I should share what I have with others while I have the opportunity. Even if a teenager today falls for Wedding Peach like I did as a kid, they would need to be extremely wealthy to get these pieces together and I just don't think your ability to own the core of a series should come down to wealth alone.
Goodness knows I'm not wealthy and I had very little growing up, hence my collection took decades to get where it is now. I don't want people to have to endure all that just to see a picture book from 30 years ago or to see an obscure illustration from a Ciao paper bag given away for free in 1994.
The efforts of fans keep series like this alive long after most companies have dismissed their long term profitability (although I do see you Germany with your beautiful hardback manga editions and I thank you).
Not everyone wants to break down their collection for the benefit of others and I respect that (there are some things in my collection I don't want to pull apart either), but I appreciate the efforts of those who do and aspire to do better with my own archiving as I work to get Weddingpeach.net updated to celebrate 30 years of the manga series.
#personal#ramblings#OK was truly rambling there#pics are previews of some upcoming 1200 dpi scans#but archiving itself isn't just media files#it's sharing factual information like release dates and staff names#that can get pushed down in AI search results or largely ignored unless preserved#it's sharing your enjoyment of a series with others and what files you have#it's above all retaining passion for something long after profitability and general interest has waned#anime collecting#archiving and media preservation
164 notes
·
View notes
Text
a/n: hey everyone! iâm so excited to bring this piece to you all. this goes along with my sugar daddy collab! <3 i hope you all enjoy this! đ«¶đ»
pairings: kokonoi hajime x fem!reader
warnings: nsfw, smut, sugar daddy!koko, age gap (reader is 21 and koko is 25), oral sex f!receiving, mentions of oral sex m!receiving, unprotected sex, use of pet names (baby, pretty thing, baby girl, good girl, princess), some degradation, light choking, car sex, edging, creampie, possessive behavior, kinda angst (?), very fluffy koko.
synopsis: youâre a college student looking to buy the things you want. koko comes to your aid and is able to grant you every wish you desired. from handbags to makeup that was worth more than anything you owned, he gave you it all. you have a long list of items, but what happens when you ask koko for his debit card and not just one item?
head over heels ft. kokonoi hajime
Your eyes shifted over the many items in your shopping cart. The time displayed on your laptop screen showed that it was nearly one oâclock in the morning. You were fully aware that you should have been peacefully sleeping in your bed by now, but you were far too deep in your shopping to even think about any shut eye.Â
Summer break was fast approaching and your university classes were soon coming to a close since the end of the semester was nearing its end. With that idea in mind, you grew sort of lazy and only did so much homework before feeling completely burned out. It was a common occurrence with many students your age. Your brain knew that the end was coming, so it set you into a certain mode where all you wanted to do was shut down and not do anything else. It was difficult, especially for the professors. However, you were passing all of your classes with high Aâs and you had no reason to panic. You always kept up with your schoolwork like any proper student would, and now you were celebrating with a little retail therapy.
With break on the horizon, you had the desire to buy new things. Whether it was new clothes, a fresh new set of shoes, or just some makeup, you wanted to splurge a little. It wouldnât hurt to have some new additions to your closet, right?Â
Unfortunately, like many students you attended college with, you were quite broke. You had a part time job, but none of that money was able to go to things you wanted. You often had to save your checks for proper necessities like groceries and gas for your car. Sure, your roommate assisted with food and other things along those lines, but you didnât want her to bear the brunt of it all. In the end, you were only left with a good one hundred fifty dollars. Sometimes, if you were lucky, you would have close to two hundred, but those weeks were rare. It was difficult to save, but the circumstances were never in your favor. You honestly couldnât wait to graduate, but that left you with debt that would take you years to pay off.Â
Now while that did stop you a majority of the time, you had an alternative option for buying the things you wanted.Â
A little over three months ago, you and your friends were all hanging around inside your dorm. Your conversations were casual until your friend, Emma, had suggested downloading this app that involved meeting sugar daddies. At first, you were completely blown away by your friend's statement. You and your friends tried to protest that the app was probably a scam, because you had seen those types of things happen before. Youâd offer them your banking information and then all of your funds would be taken from you in the matter of minutes. Plus, there were tons of weird men on those kinds of apps. Sometimes they would completely lie about their status just to receive whatever they wanted. Emma completely shut you and your friends down, and offered proof to help her case. When she brought it to the table, you were astounded. There had been multiple men that had sent her almost a thousand dollars each. She even claimed some didnât ask for naked photographs, and they just sent it with zero hesitation behind it.
At first, you were stunned.Â
Of course, that kind of offer seemed almost unnatural from how Emma made it look. A majority of the time those people were scammers or they wanted some kind of sexual advance for payment. Nowadays you couldnât trust such a thing, but Emma had the proof. There were men sending her all kinds of money, and to be honest, you wanted in on that. You would have to do some digging is all.Â
Once your friends had gone back to their own dorms, you decided to download the app. You chose some nice photos of yourself for your profile and began swiping on the plethora of men on your screen. It was almost like a sugar daddy tinder. For the first few minutes, you were met with lots of older guys. Some of them could have been your fathers age, so thatâs why you decided to change your age range. Though, you had lots of discouragement for a while. A majority of the guys were genuine catfishes and you could tell by their profiles. The obvious cropping and misinformation was a clear sign of that. Some of them seemed like genuine creeps too. The one that looked promising almost always had a flaw along with them, and it was becoming quite annoying. How did Emma manage to discover the right men? This had to be pinned against you because all of the sugar daddies on that app were fucking weird.Â
To be frank, you had started to believe that it was unlikely youâd find anything promising. The men you did have conversations with were disgusting or it was obvious they were trying to steal your debit card information.Â
That ultimately changed when you came across a certain profile that seemed almost too good to be true.
Koko, 25
You were just about to delete the app when you came across the manâs profile. It was already almost two in the morning, but you were enthralled by the man on your screen. He was quite handsome and he seemed to live a very luxurious lifestyle. Your eyes widened when you saw that he was sitting on a Mercedes with many other cars beside it. He was so dreamy with his black and white hair that was dyed in different sections. There was a single earring that hung from his right ear, and there was even a photo of him sticking his tongue out. He owned more than your college tuition and car payment combined. It was hard for you to believe that a man like him was on such an app, but the most shocking thing was that he was only five miles away. Meaning, he was very close to you. It almost seemed like a fucking trap with how perfect it looked on the outside. There was no way this man was real. Behind the screen, there must have been a fifty year old man sitting in his crusty boxers.Â
Despite that, you took a risk and swiped right on the man.Â
You went to bed and didnât ponder the app any longer. You assumed that if he was real, he probably wouldnât bat an eye at you. Heâd just keep swiping and leave it as that, right?
Wrong, so very wrong.
The next morning, you awoke and checked your phone as usual. You had notifications from your friends or random emails from your professors, but what you didnât expect was a message from that app.Â
Koko sent you a new message!
Your heart dropped inside your chest when you saw the message for the first time. You thought you were just having a dream, but Koko had actually messaged you. You immediately went to open it and see what he had said. You were honestly expecting one of those usual scam messages that are insanely filled with random emojis, but it was the exact opposite of that.
Koko: hey pretty thing <3Â
For a little while, you contemplated replying to him. He could be a catfish for all you knew. He could also be trying to sweet talk you into taking your money, so you had to play it cool. It took you a while to actually trust the man behind the screen, but he eventually shared his phone number and the two of you began to frequently chat throughout the day. Koko had revealed he was a businessman. He never specified what it was, but he informed you that he made lots of money and he wasnât married so there was nothing to spend it on except for himself. He was about four years older than you. The only reason he joined the app was to find someone to share that cash with, and thatâs exactly what the man wanted to do with you. Koko also proved he wasnât a scammer by any means and he would be willing to buy you whatever you wanted.Â
But, at a price.
Koko had proposed a deal for you both. He had no problem being your sugar daddy by any means. He told you that if there was anything you needed from him, he would buy it with no hesitation. However, he wanted something in return. There was a reason you were his sugar baby.Â
Koko offered to give you what you wanted after you had sex with him, or gave him something in exchange for your item. He told you that the higher the price of your gift, the higher you would have to work to receive it. It was quite a shock to you to hear such a thing, but you did want a sugar daddy. Koko had even mentioned he would never force you into a situation that you didnât want, but he wanted you to keep your end of the deal no matter what. At first, you were unsure of it all. He was a handsome guy, he made lots of money, and all you would have to do was fuck him to have anything you so pleased. It was nerve wracking, though. You were going to be intimate with a man who was older than you, and he was going to give you anything you wanted after? There was a lot to ask, but you werenât sure how to bring it up.
After a long phone call with the man, you had fully agreed to the terms he set for you. Koko had also explained to you that if at any point you would like to terminate it, he had no issue with that. You were relieved to hear such a thing. At least he wasnât some deeply obsessed man who wouldnât let you go if you asked.
The very first time you wanted to buy something, you were nervous. You were on Sephora, browsing the different eyeshadow paletteâs or lipsticks you thought would fit nice on your skin. You had placed a few items into your cart. Your eyes drifted to the total and your chest practically started hurting the moment you saw it. It came out to $157.67. Part of you wasnât so sure if you should ask Koko. It was his money, and you would always feel bad whenever any friend or family member spent money on you. You knew you wouldnât have to give Koko a single cent back, but what would he say? There was a chance he would laugh at you and say no to the offer. It would piss you off, yes, but that thought was lingering in the back of your mind. You hesitated to send him the message with the total, but you eventually pressed send and left your phone to sit and wait. Your heart was racing so fast that you thought you would have had a heart attack back then.Â
Within minutes, you received a reply, and his response made shivers ghost down your spine.
Koko: send me a video of you fingering yourself <3 and send me the link afterwards
After a long while of internal panic, you eventually sent Koko the video. There was silence for a little while on his end. You hoped that he didnât somehow block you or he just lied to get what he wanted. There was a chance Koko had completely set you up, and he was going to steal the video for his own personal benefit. God, you prayed that wasnât the case.Â
Though, after ten minutes, Koko replied with a screenshot of your order. He also praised you for what you had sent him. He claimed you were one of the most beautiful women he had ever laid his eyes upon, and those comments made your cheeks burn with embarrassment. For a man who was only supposed to be your sugar daddy, he seemingly had a lot to say about your appearance. You werenât complaining about that factor, though. You would have much rather had him commenting on that than being a weird creep asking for more. He was gladly proving himself as a respectable man, and you had gotten a new present out of it. You were very satisfied with that, and all of those worries that had you anxious disappeared once he shared that he had purchased your makeup.Â
You frequently sent nudes to Koko for whatever you wanted. You began receiving many gifts and random packages that filled your room quicker than you had expected. It wouldnât be an overstatement to say that Koko was spoiling you rotten with his money. He didnât seem to have much of a problem with that either. Any time you would protest, he would shut you up by sending you random payments. You could never argue with him either. He was quite stubborn at times.Â
Eventually, there came a point where you both desired to meet one another.
He planned a nice date for you two. He offered to pick you up and he even proposed the idea of taking you shopping afterwards. If you didnât have extra studying to do, you would have taken the opportunity to go and buy some things with him. However, you declined due to your own personal things. You were very nervous to meet him. This would be the first time you saw him in person, but you had this urge to finally see the man who had been giving you money. You were all over the place when the evening arrived. When he messaged you that he was outside, you almost completely chickened out and told him you didnât want to anymore. However, with the help of your friends and your roommate, you were able to face Kokonoi Hajime in all of his glory.Â
You didnât expect to see such a fine man, but what you werenât expecting the most was sleeping with him that night.
The dinner had gone quite well between you both. Koko was polite, handsome, and overall a gentleman with you. The place you went to was divine and you would have never expected you would have eaten at such a great restaurant.Â
Things quickly changed once the two of you had gotten into Kokoâs expensive BMW. The atmosphere had shifted and there was this ache that formed between your legs. It could have been the aroma of his luxurious cologne, or the way he gripped the steering wheel as he drove. It honestly felt like this man had casted a spell on you. You just couldnât stop yourself from kissing him at the red light. One thing led to another, and you ended up in Kokoâs high rise apartment with your legs thrown over his shoulders. The sex you both indulged in was like no other. Koko wasnât anything like those lame college guys you hooked up with. He showed you what it was like to actually fuck someone, and it only left you craving more of your sugar daddy. He worked wonders on your body, and he knew exactly where to touch you to have you melting within his grasp. You only craved more of him as the days went on, and eventually, you two started seeing one another more often.Â
Whether it was giving him a blowjob for a new pair of heels, or letting him eat your pussy until you made a mess on his face, Koko was intoxicating and you only wanted him at the end of the night.Â
You chewed on your bottom lip at Kokoâs contact. You had no idea if the man was still awake at this dead hour. However, you decided to snap a photo of your total and message your sugar daddy. If he didnât see it at that hour, he would probably see it the next morning and decide what to do.Â
You: koko, i want these
You: [image]
You clicked your phone off and sat there for a few minutes. There was silence from your phone, so it was just a waiting game. You hoped he was awake but you werenât forcing a response right away. You were very patient with him. Koko had a busy lifestyle, so it was understandable if he was exhausted after a long day.Â
Those thoughts you had were interrupted by the vibration of your cell phone. You reached for it and was surprised to see that Koko had texted you back.Â
Koko: for sure baby
Koko: you better let me pick you up đ€ that price is highÂ
Your eyes grew wide at his request. It was late, very late. Your roommate was asleep in her bed already and you technically werenât supposed to be wandering campus at that hour. Sneaking out wouldnât be that difficult, but knowing how Koko was in bed, you knew you wouldnât be home the next morning. Usually, you would decline and say no, but you hadnât seen Koko at all much recently. Not gonna lie, you needed your fix of him and you wanted to see his handsome face. It wasnât like you could message him randomly to fuck. He probably wasnât into something like that.Â
You: okay
You: atp i deserve your debit card đ
You were joking when you sent that reply, but you brushed that aside to go and prepare yourself for what was to come. Koko didnât live very far from your university. He worked in the city which was not a far drive from campus, but you hardly drove there unless you absolutely had to. Koko also would pick you up. He honestly considered you his little passenger princess because of how often he would come and get you. He always picked you up in a different vehicle, though. Sometimes, he would let you pick the car he would drive you around in. It was such a luxury being Kokoâs sugar baby. You couldnât ask for anyone better.
You paused in your motions when your phone vibrated again. You grabbed it off of your bed and stared at the new text messages Koko had sent to you.Â
Koko: my debit card? you really want that baby?
Your eyes widened at his reply. As much as you wanted to say no, having his card on you would give you easier access to getting the things you wanted without having to wait.Â
You: i was kidding haha
Koko: iâm serious
Koko: do you want it? i donât mind handing it over
Shock coursed through your veins at his reply. You said that as a joke, yet he sounded incredibly serious about it. You could never take Kokoâs debit card like that. He often told you he had many due to having such an incredible amount of funds, but having one sounded dangerous. Though, it sounded like such a great idea.Â
You: really??
Koko: yes princess
Koko: but thatâs a serious trade.. if you want it you know youâll have to pay up.
You knew full well thatâs how the deal worked. He wouldnât give away something unless there was a price at hand, which was understandable. You wondered what that might be. Koko could make sex more intense depending on the price of the item you desired. Usually, anything above two hundred was always going to involve a meet up. Whether it was just oral sex, or actual fucking. You fully assumed now that Koko was going to ask to meet up. You had no issue with that, of course, but the thrill of the situation made your thighs clench together. He was a man full of surprises. He showed you things in sex that no other man was capable of, so this could be a situation you would never forget.Â
You began typing a response to the man. It was already nearly two oâclock in the morning, so you had to make a decision quickly.Â
You: okay, i want your debit card koko
Sending that message was the reason you were in the situation you found yourself in now. You should have expected Koko to be the person he was, but you hadnât expected him to pull over into a parking lot after he picked you up. You were in the backseat of his Mercedes with your thighs spread apart and his face deep between them. His tongue was buried into your pretty cunt that he had been wanting to taste for the last two weeks. Fuck, he missed you so much. He never could properly admit it out loud, but Koko wanted to see you more often than he should. You were always engraved in his mind at work. He would often fight with himself on sending you a message about your day, or simply asking what you were up to. He shouldnât be thinking that way, but you were too difficult to resist.
Your head was lying against the cushion of his seats. Your fingernails tugged and pulled at the strands of Kokoâs dual colored hair. One thing about Koko was that his head game was one of the best. He slurped and sucked on your clit with such ease, and it drove you up the wall. There was nobody else that could make you feel the way Koko made you feel. âK-Koko..! Ah.. yes! Right there!â you wiggled your hips upwards to gain more traction against his tongue. You were getting lost within him. All you could think about was him and only him.
The man shifted his eyes up at you. His pupils were slightly dilated from lust, and the pure sight of you made him only more turned on. Koko honestly couldnât believe that such a fine woman like you ever gave him the time of day. You were perfect in every aspect. He couldnât ever imagine himself involving another woman, but you. He honestly wondered if you felt the same way about him. In some ways, he hoped that deep down you did. Koko liked to believe that he gave you it all. He spoiled you rotten with his money and gave you all the sex you desired. He didnât care what it might be. He would do anything for his precious sugar baby. âYeah..? That feel good, baby girl? Heh.. you always taste as good as you look.â he used his thumb to rub circles on your clit that was swollen. You were a dripping mess when he took your panties off. It was amazing what he could do to you in just a matter of minutes. His presence alone winded you up.
He then attacked your cunt once again. His tongue swiped over your sensitive bud, earning several sharp gasps from your lips. He lapped up any slick that appeared on your pussy. He was practically eating you like you were his last meal. Koko was making you feel like you were on fire. His actions were the very thing igniting that spark within you. He could only smirk at the delightful noises that were slipping from your throat. He could listen to you like a song on repeat.Â
Kokoâs cock was aching inside his sweatpants. It was taking all of his strength to not completely ravage you, but that need was there. He was begging to be freed from his boxers that felt like they were closing in on him. Kokoâs hold on your thighs tightened and his tongue began to move quicker, sending bolts of electricity along your abdomen from the pleasure. Your breathing had become quite heavy and your hold on his hair had tightened. He could tell that you were absolutely enjoying yourself right now. It only stroked that ego he had deep within him. He averted his gaze for a brief moment to stare at your stunning features that were twisted with pleasure. The expressions on your face made him smirk while he ate you out. He couldnât wait to be inside of that pussy he loved so much. He craved you more than he would like to admit. Sometimes, he would find himself jerking off to your videos or photos you had sent him. His fist never compared to the way your pretty cunt would suck him in.
You were close, so fucking close. Koko could make you cum by just eating you out, which was honestly a talent. The knot inside your belly was tightening with every motion of his tongue. All you sought was that burning desire within yourself. Koko could tell by your body language and your voice that you were about to reach your peak. He wasnât ready for you to cum yet. He wanted you to be wound up just a bit more before heâd allow that to occur. Plus, you were only ever allowed to cum on his cock.
Koko then retracted himself away from your cunt. A mix of his spit and your slick covered his chin, to which he wiped off with his hand. You whined at the loss of contact, and the denial of your orgasm. He could be so unfair sometimes with you. âKoko.. I need you..â you took his hand into yours, intertwining your fingers together.Â
He could see the desperation in your eyes, and in your voice. Koko then kissed your palm and smiled at you with those nice teeth of his. He thought you were so cute like that. All whiny and needy for him to be inside of you. He wasnât going to let you wait any longer, because as much as it sounded selfish, he wanted to fuck you too. It had been far too long since the man had played with his favorite girl. He missed you more than anything else, and all he wanted was your presence near him. âIâm here, baby.. donât you worry.â he then leaned down towards your lips, pressing a small kiss onto you. It was sweet, and tender.
Koko pulled away after a few seconds. He then began to untie the loops of his sweatpants, pulling them downward so he could free his cock that had been aching to be freed since he took you into the backseat. Some pre-cum leaked from the tip, which he wiped off with his thumb. He tossed them somewhere in the front seat and plopped down in one of the seats. He motioned for you to come towards him. âCome here..â he patted his lap, eyeing you like you were his prized possession.Â
You sat up, maneuvering yourself onto his lap so both of your thighs were on either side of him. Kokoâs hands settled on your waist, taking in the touch of your soft skin. He could never get enough of how delicate you felt underneath his fingertips. It was like he was touching flower petals, silky and smooth. You were the prettiest one in the garden though. Koko positioned himself at your soaked entrance. He glided his tip against your folds, causing you to softly moan from the friction. You were so fucking wet. He loved seeing what he was able to do to your body. Seeing you up above him made his heart swell with warmth. You were like a goddess in his hands. He couldnât believe that someone like you wasnât in a relationship, or at least talking with someone. You deserved love.Â
Could he be the one to grant that?
After some small teasing of your slit, he pushed himself inside your pussy. The two of you let out noises at the contact. Your hands squeezed at Kokoâs shoulders, holding onto him as he guided your hips onto his cock. You were so tight. You hugged his dick so well that he could almost moan from how great it was. He never got tired of how your cunt felt. âKoko..! So big.. fuck..â you looked down at his shaft that was filling you up and stretching you to almost your limit. He was big, probably the biggest youâve ever taken.
Once he was fully bottomed out, he began to thrust into your cunt. The angle was just perfect for him. Your tits were practically in his face, and every little movement caused them to bounce. If he could, he would tape every single moment of your sexual encounters. He could watch them like movies and be able to recall every little detail. Koko groaned at how nicely you sucked his cock in. He held your hips firmly and would occasionally squeeze the plush of your ass. You were just too fucking good. He never was exhausted of fucking your brains out. You were completely in utter bliss. This felt much different than before. You werenât sure why. You assumed that maybe it was because you were both fucking in his car or maybe because you hadnât seen Koko in weeks, but that didnât matter. All you could focus on was the gorgeous man who was buried into your guts right now.
Kokoâs pace began to increase. He found it much harder to hold back now. He had these urges that needed to be released, and after all, you were going to earn his debit card once this was all set and done. He wanted to fuck you so good that any time you stared at it you would remember what he made you feel that night. âFuck.. so good, baby.. takinâ my cock so well. Youâre such a good girl..â he gritted his teeth. âYouâre my good girl, yeah? Tell me baby..âÂ
You stared into his lustful eyes. The pleasure in your gut was so good that you were beginning to lose focus on the situation. He was grabbing and touching you in all the right spots that made you like putty in his hands. âMmph! Yes.. ah! Yes, Koko..â you whined, pressing your forehead against his.Â
The heat inside of the car began to gradually increase from your actions. Sweat was clinging to your skin, and some of Kokoâs hair was sticking to his forehead. Neither of you gave much care to that fact, because you were too lost in the moment to even think about that. Koko couldnât help but stare at you. Your pretty face was all contorted with euphoria and your gorgeous body was so smooth within his hands. He couldnât think of a greater image. He knew the night he fucked you for the first time that he wanted to see you again. He didnât want someone like you to slip through his fingers, so thatâs why he continued to pursue you. There was so much to like about you beyond the sex. Your personality, your smile, that beautiful laugh. He could name so much more, but itâd take him years to finish. He knew it wasnât right. Thinking of his sugar baby as something more, but he couldnât help himself. You were a drug he couldnât stop coming back to.
Kokoâs hand went to wrap around your throat, keeping your head in place so you made eye contact with him. He squeezed slightly, blocking some of the air from entering your lungs. Your nails scratched into his skin from the lack of oxygen. âShit.. so fucking good fâme..â he looked into your cloudy eyes. âFuck.. you like being my slut..? Whoring yourself out for my money.. fuck, I love spoilinâ you, princess..â
All you could do was nod and let out a small whine. He then released your throat and smiled to himself at your reaction. He knew no matter what you would always love spending his money on shit you wanted. He didnât care how much it was either. He loved what was to come before the purchases. Though, the after made him even happier. Seeing your smiling face when he buys you gifts makes all the darkness in his day disappear. âK-Koko..â you leaned your head downwards so it was now buried into his shoulder. âFuck.. love being y-your slut!â
Koko couldnât hide the smirk that had written itself on his features. Of course you loved it. You always slithered back to him and thatâs exactly how he knew. He decided to speed things up and begin fucking you at such a rough pace. His tip rapidly pressed against your g-spot, making white stars appear in your vision from how intense it was.Â
It was momentâs like this where Koko didnât want the night to end. He wished he could fuck you like this all of the time, but that only happened whenever you needed something. That was the deal, after all. He didnât want to overstep your boundaries and possibly cause problems in your agreement. Koko had his urges, though. He wanted to randomly arrive at your place and just have you all to himself with no sort of item being the sole reason why. It sounded selfish, he was well aware of that, but you were the first girl to ever want to see him for a date rather than just a hookup. Sure, sugar daddies often treated their sugar babies to dates at divine restaurants, but to Koko that was something special. He knew that you probably thought of it as something common, but he never did that with just anyone he came across. Dates, sex, money, all of those things could make Koko easily attached to somebody else. Despite his brain telling him not to, he wanted you.Â
He wanted you all to himself.Â
He knew thinking such a thing was wrong, but the thought of someone else spoiling you with their money angered him. Seeing your body in all its glory and only toying with you made him want to go after whoever that might be. He was the only one who should be giving you the things you wanted. He should be the only one pounding your pussy until youâre almost squirting onto his cock from how great it is. You were his sugar baby. You shouldnât rely on any other man but him to give you what you need.Â
Koko reached forward to hold your face with his one hand, forcing you to look at him. Your eyes were half-lidded and you had this gorgeous fucked out expression on your features. His eyes flickered from your face then towards those glossy lips. âYouâre mine.. right, princess?â No one is better than me..â his voice was deep and sort of hoarse from how much he had been groaning and grunting.Â
Your walls quivered around his cock, earning a breathy chuckle from Koko. He didnât think you would have such a reaction, but it turned him on so much. You liked when Koko was possessive over you. He had no idea, but he was for sure going to use that to his advantage. You were making such a mess on his dick too. âY-Yes, Koko! All yours.. ah!â you nodded your head vigorously at his question. You only desired more from the man. He was making you feel things that nobody else has ever made you feel.Â
Your orgasm was creeping up on you. The pool of heat inside your gut was reaching its boiling point, making you all the more needy for Koko. He could feel your walls clenching and closing around his cock, making his own pleasure increase from how tight you felt. His favorite part was watching you reach your high, because your reactions were just so sexy. He loved making you cum like the little slut you were for him. His hands gripped your hips tightly, allowing him to fuck himself upwards into you at that same pace that would send your mind into a frenzy. He was abusing your g-spot only allowing his name to slip from your plump lips. His balls were smacking against your puffy clit, making all kinds of lewd noises inside of the car.
Koko leaned in and captured your lips onto his. A sloppy kiss erupted between the two of you. He swallowed down any moans that came from your throat. He almost chuckled again when he felt you struggling to kiss him back. You were both chasing your releases, becoming so desperate for one another. Koko almost bit down on your lip from how close he was, but he refrained and pulled away. âGonna cum..? Câmon, baby, cum on my fucking cock..â he leaned towards your ear, nibbling on your skin. âShiittt, âm gonna cum inside this p-pretty cunt, pretty thing.â
You let out a cry of pleasure as soon as that knot snapped. Your orgasm hit you hard. Your whole body trembled and shook, sending shivers down your spine. Koko squeezed your hips hard enough to leave bruises when he reached his own climax. The way your pussy spasmed and clamped down on him made his high come faster than he had expected. His cum filled your walls, creating a mess that consisted of your arousal and his around his cock to make it seem white.Â
You let yourself slump onto his body. The two of you panted, trying to recover from your orgasms. A layer of fog had blanketed the window and both of you were quite messy. Koko rested his arm around your waist, placing his chin atop of your head. In all honesty, he didnât want to let you go home yet. He wanted to sit there for a few minutes just bathing in your embrace, because he knew the moment you went home he would go back into his empty bed and imagine you lying beside him in his sheets. He also feared possibly staining the seats of his car by pulling out, so he decided to just keep himself inside you for a little while. Neither of you had anywhere to be at that moment.Â
There was a comfortable silence that surrounded you. It was broken when Koko cleared his throat and reached for his wallet that was in the pocket of his sweatpants he had discarded earlier. He opened it and removed his debit card from the many spots he had in his wallet. He also reached into it and pulled out several one hundred dollar bills. âThis is for you, baby.â he then reached under your shirt and shoved the bills into your bra. He also slid his debit card along with the cash. You were surprised to see him put them there, but it was Koko of all people. He always had the ability to catch you off guard.
You looked down at Koko. You seemed quite tired and he could sense it from your lazy body language. You were so cute when you were sleepy. âThank you, Koko..â you touched his cheeks with your hands, rubbing your thumbs against his skin. A smile made its way onto your features from his gesture.
He pecked your lips, bringing your body closer to his. Your touch made him melt from how warm it was. âAnything for you..â he buried his face into your neck, inhaling your natural scent. His mind only thought of you for the rest of the evening. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, you would see him as someone more than just your sugar daddy.
#summer speaks#SugarDaddyCollab#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers fanfiction#tokyo revengers smut#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers x you#tokyo revengers x y/n#kokonoi hajime#kokonoi hajime x reader#kokonoi hajime x you#koko#koko smut#koko x reader#koko x y/n#koko x you#anime fanfiction#anime fanfic
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
The classism in the "music gear" scene is fucking atrocious. So many people will shit on other people for using affordable gear as a way to justify within themselves that dropping $3,000 on a guitar was a smart financial move.
About 3-4 years ago I joined a band and a month after I joined we went on some video podcast. Play a few songs, do an interview, something I've never done before but it seemed like it'd be fun.
I wasn't able to really get a word in during the interviews (stuttering/speech impediment/anxiety issues ran wild) but I was able to speak up whenever the host went around and asked us what our favorite instrument/gear brands were. Weird question, but alright buddy.
I've always been a fan of cheaper gear. You don't need all sorts of expensive shit to get the sound you want. So when he asked my answer was "Squier" and the dude just started laughing. Because who possibly would prefer one of the cheaper brands??? (Keep in mind this douche had a whole wall of the absolute worst looking collection of custom shop BC Rich guitars you've ever seen.)
Eventually he backed down once I started arguing with him about it, but his immediate elitist attitude really struck a cord in me because I see that shit all over the internet in music communities. "Oh you only like Squiers/Epiphones/Harley Bentons because you can't afford BIG BOY guitars like a $5,000 Gibson".
Fuck right off with that shit. Why would I pay thousands of dollars for a guitar when I can get something that works amazingly for me for just a few hundred dollars? The extra money I save by not dropping 4 figures on a guitar or amp goes towards paying my bills, feeding my kids, just trying to fucking live and exist.
At this point I've had to sell 99% of my music gear after over a decade of following the gear chase. I only have a "cheap" acoustic I bought several years ago for $350 and it's the best guitar I've ever had. I love my little busted neck Hummingbird to death.
I'm much happier now than I was when I had a huge assortment of pedals and guitars to choose from. The Gear Chase is designed to make you want to spend more and more money in an endless pursuit of finding that "perfect" piece of gear. Guitar companies, partnered youtubers, influencers, and all sorts of advertisement campaigns are purposefully trying to misguide you into thinking you NEED their product. It's marketing and capitalism at work and so many musicians fall for it every time. I fell for it for years before I got completely fed up with it.
Go out and gig with your Squier Bullet Strat and a cheap amp you found at a pawn shop, fuck anyone that gives you shit for it. Go ahead and record with whatever you have at your disposal. Put out an album that's comprised of Voice Memos you recorded on your phone with just an acoustic and your voice.
Music, like any art, is about way more than what you used to get there. It's how you express yourself that really matters. Don't listen to the elitists and marketers telling you the only way you can authentically reach your creative vision is by buying their snake oil.
317 notes
·
View notes