#every mentally ill person needs their emotional support cat

[ironspidersblog]

Bucky and alpine

[patchiko]

Thank you for responding 😭😭😭 lol he IS a runner dog. Leave the door open for even a tiny bit and he’s gone in the blink of an eye.

So speaking of dogs/cats do you think AK Jason would ever get a pet?

I’ve always thought of Jason as a dog person (I think in the comics it’s mentioned he had a dog named sparky and he had a pitbull (❤️) in RHATO) but as for AK Jason I don’t really have any thoughts on a pet situation. If he did get a dog I could see it maybe as a move for mental or emotional support… (I mean I got my own dog so I could have company, learn responsibilities and get exercise. I love him so much 🥺)

But ohhhh just thinking of Jason coming home and the dogs going nuts cause “dads” home just melts my heart

(Gunna be 🌻 anon in case I do any future requests haha 😂)

FIRST OFFICIAL REGULAR ANON THIS FEELS SO COOL!

🌻 anon, in my brain he has or gets a dobermann. (mainly bc i have one) BUT UR SO REAL, a dog’s responsibility and bond is something he slowly comes to accept and love AND UR SO RIGHHT HIS DOG WOULD LOVE HIM SMMM

THIS GOT SO LONG SO IM JUST TURNING IT INTO

Ak!Jason Todd With A Dog Headcanon

I think a dog would be really helpful with Jason accepting love.

I think at first itd be hard to him but as the dog grows, jason starts getting it. Why people love having animals so much, their simplicity of love, loyalty, and innocence becomes a virtue to him.

the routine and companionship <3

jasons dog ends up being the reason he has to get up everyday, a responsibility that isn’t based on the foundation of a legacy but a bond, a seemingly simple bond.

nothing over the top either. a simple transaction of ill give you anything you need and ill give you everything i have.

and once he comprehends his dog’s loyalty, and how much his dog gives him and the little he gives his dog compared to as much as hes given others

ITS SO OVER, HE’D LIGHT UP 80 MFS IN A WALMART PARKING LOT FOR HIS FUCKIN DOG—

just him thinking about the fact how such little things can turn into an oddly complex relationship

realistically this dog doesn’t even get to see most of his life, but he’d be there for all of the dogs

and then he gets it, how much it means.

FUCK I LOVE MY DOGGG MY BABY MY BABY

and your honor, he’d love a dobermann so much.

OKAY, a lot of people see Dobermanns as big scary breeds but i have one and he is so the opposite (turns out a lot of dobermanns are)

The whole reason Dobermanns couldnt be uses as war dogs anymore is because of how loyal they are. They couldn’t function properly if they weren’t with the person that trained them.

They latch onto someone and will only ever fully listen to that ONE person.

So I think a dog like this would be really nice for jason, with this along with thinking about how much mine helped me out / the way mine improved my mental.

yes im projecting bc i love my dog so much

Dobes are high maintenance when it comes to exercise, so i think Jason would really enjoy the scheduling one puts him on.

one walk should be an hour and some change long and they need at the very least TWO of these a day

so i think i like that it gets him outside and he gets to bond with his dog without having to do some over the top play session

jason also canonically did track if I’m not wrong, and because of him having a military schedule, i can totally see him doing morning jogs or just some random long ass walk with his dog at like 4AM

My dobes follows me, even if i move to a separate part of my couch he always moves to lay by my feet. so ill think of Jays dog just laying in a room where he trains, jason just enjoys the presence of his dog.

NOT TO PROJECT ON HIM TOOOO MUCH but jason definitely has full blown conversations with his dog, or just randomly starts venting to him

and the dog always does some silly shit that has him biting back a smile

or the dog just rests his body against his and jason just feels like its listening so he just keeps goin

idk if you guys every see a dobermann get excited but they start running around and they look like a stupid deer and Jason can’t not smile at it.

makes jason feel especially good when he comes home and the dogs so excited

jason could come home after the worst night shift in his fuckign vigilante life and can’t help his smile bc of the way his dog runs up to him

he’ll be so fuckin annoyed but as soon as his silly long faced ahh dobermann run up to him, hes cheesing so hard.

especially bc of the way the dog slips around bc of his smooth tile/wooden floor

Dobermann also have weirdly distinct and human personalities, a long with being smart as shit so i think itd stimulate jasons brain a lot

jason would try to teach his dobermann to be more of a guard dog, but the dobes would only show his training when hes protective of jason. Everything else, he just like jason is just.. standing.

his dog is also awkward, but i also think his dog has anxiety, more specifically attachment anxiety bc Jason spoils the shit out of him.

projecting so bad but jason could be having a mental breakdown and his dobes will come up to him and start whining for a walk, and that walk, that schedule just helps jason get back on track so much.

gets his gears turning, just the sense of normalcy he finally is getting.

he stops crying while leaving the house or getting ready to go, by the end of the walk, hes still sad, really fucking sad, but a calm kind of sad, he doesn’t wanna punch a wall, or fight someone, or drown himself in whiskey, he just wants to lay down with his dog and go to bed.

and then when he gets home he continues his dogs routine

he gives him water and food, he checks his paws for glass of anything stuck while he drinks or eats so he’ll stay still because his dog always waddles away if hes not pre-occupied, he’ll wipe his dogs face cause its always so wet and messy after he eats, and they lay down on a his couch and falls asleep.

:( loves his dog sm, just grounds him

and what kills jason about it, is the dog probably doesn’t even comprehend that.

he’d literally die for his dog.

dobes just walking up to jay and wanting his affection and jason will always at the very least rest his hand on his head which for most dobermann’s is the only thing they need.

the first time jason ever really felt connected to his dog is when it comes up to him and lays by him while he’s sitting on the floor after a bad night, he likes it because the dog has the full ability to go lay on a bed or his couch but he chooses to cold, hard floor, just because jasons there.

just how mundane it is having a dog makes him feel so normal kefhidjdkd kisses him

i love dogs, i like dogs with training issues, i like dogs that get a little more nervous then others, i like dogs that have been through something, i like dogs that seem just a little more human then other dogs. i love dogs

anyway heres my dog

sniffle sniffle sob sob laying on the floor with my dog as we speak, requests / inbox is open if you wanna drop something

[lantur]

end of year wrap up,

This time last year I felt so much dread. 2022 almost broke me. It challenged me in ways I didn't think were possible and pushed me to and past my emotional limits. This time last year, I felt debilitating anxiety, because I knew what 2023 had in store for me. My father was terminally ill and I knew he would die this year.

Everything I feared came to pass. My dad began hospice at the end of April and he died in early May. It was even worse pain than I thought and feared it would be. Looking back at it now, the grief was like an out of body experience. It changed me as a person and I will never be the same as I was. I lost whatever bit of "innocence" I had seeing what my dad went through at the end of life.

The first half of this year was awful. And yet so much of my year was suffused with love, surrounded by love, that protected me when I needed it the most and lifted me out of the darkest time. My friends coming over to my house and me going to theirs. Voice chats and video chats and texts with my long distance friends. Traveling with friends, being reminded that there was beauty and joy in the world, and the ability to let go of the daily pains and sorrows and fears and anxieties.

Every day, my husband and my cat made home a sanctuary, caring for me and comforting me.

This year, I effectively lost both of my parents, but I don't feel alone. I feel loved and supported by the family I chose.

I'm one year into a challenging new job that has tested me emotionally and mentally, and pushed me to grow professionally. I started and finished a novel. I turned 31.

In August, I got back into weightlifting. In November, I started learning Spanish. I'm excited to carry these goals into 2024 and see where they take me. My check-in point for measuring progress is going to be the end of Q1.

I'm entering 2024 without the terrible fear that I had last year. I know that the coming year will have some major personal and professional changes and challenges for me. These are changes that I choose, that I feel ready for - not things that are forced on me, that I have to deal with. That makes a difference.

I'm grateful that amidst all the challenges - and there have been many - I've had this safe space to share my struggles and my triumphs. I hope that 2024 brings all of you good things.

[the-vodka-came-diluted]

I don't know how many people still look at this account, but I thought I would give a bit of a life update :]

Im turning 21 in June and i'm doing much better than I was when I was on here, I'm still disordered and anxious, but less than I was. I ended up going to counselling summer last year 2 days before my birthday for my mental health as my anxiety was getting to the point where I had started developing agoraphobia, through that I ended up on Sertraline for the anxiety and depression as I was also still incredibly suicidal.

Things have been going a lot better since then, R (previously E), someone I had posted about alot, and I are best friends still, I accepted through counselling and improving myself that what I felt for him was actually infatuation caused by my mental health and a need to feel loved, they've done a lot of self improvement as well, and addressed the things they said to me, I forgave him a long time ago and things have settled now, sometimes when you put two mentally ill ND queers in a close friendship from a young age, shit gets messy and then you mature and become best friends who can trust eachother again.

Someone else I posted about, F who was my ex at the time, came back into my life and I realised she was the only person I had genuinely ever felt a romantic connection to, which sounds silly when you read everything I said about R before, but as I said, mental illness is wild lmao I was convinced I had to end up with R or I would be alone, he was the only other openly lesbian/queer person I knew from the age of 12 with similar experiences to me. F came back into my life and things have been going so much better since then, we spent over a year talking again and eventually confessed to eachother, she helped me leave my abusive mums house and we currently live together with our 2 cats and her emotional support dog, I love her more than I can express on here, I never thought I would get to be in a relationship like this where things are so calm and and loving, instead of blowing up at eachother over things, we sit down and talk about why something has upset us and how we can change it in the future, she's my whole world and even though it's not even a year being together again, I'd gladly spend the rest of my life with her 💜

As for things with my mum, she has just recently gotten out of a toxic relationship, things blew up a while back before I left, she got violent and police were called, so I left with a lot of encouragement from F and others. A lot of the cause of her becoming even more shitty than she already was, was her at the time new bf, she was drinking every day with him, abandoning my younger siblings and leaving them to me days at a time to drink with him, being homophobic, and was getting more and more physical and while she has hit me before, she hit me and my brother for being gay, which honestly hurt so much more than any punch or slap or shove she had thrown before. She was also doing a lot of shit to me mentally still that I had just had enough of. Through it all I kept trying to support her and help her leave her dickhead bf, in the end it was better for my own sake to leave, i think if i hadn't i wouldn't be here right now despite my MH doing much better than it had been. She recently had to call the police on him for causing her physical harm, and she reached out to me, while I'm still wary of her intentions, it seems like she's on the road to healing as well, she apologised for making me feel how she did for most of my life and says she's going to start counselling and wants to rebuild our relationship when I'm ready. Even though she was a big part of why I am the way I am, I'm proud of her for getting help and the fact that she has addressed how she treated me has given me a lot of closure.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this, I know "it gets better" stories are cringe and annoying, but it genuinely does get better. I still have my down days but much less of them and less intensely. I still have derealisation and dissociation episodes, but I don't think of my CSA trauma much anymore or have as many nightmares, I'm with someone who relates to and understands my traumas and mental health, theres no pressure to be intimate bc she's also ace, I'm a few months clean of SH and F reminds me how proud she is of me being clean, I don't abuse substances like alcohol or my sleeping meds or drugs that are offered to me and haven't in a very long time, apart from nic maybe but it's not in a self destructive way and I love my fruity air, don't judge, at least I'm not still smoking weed every day or snorting MDMA or downing pills offered to me in the woods at night to feel like a real alive human 😭💀 I've cut out a lot of toxic people and friend groups, and my dad and I are talking again and he's so supportive of me, things really do get better when you give them a chance 💜 I hope ya'll are doing well too :]

Oh! And F bought me a binder, so now I'm a lot less dysphoric too, she's honestly the best :']

That's all I have to say really, ik I'm just ranting to the void rn but i hope this inspires at least one person who sees it :D

[catnherthoughts]

"who am i?"

talking about my identity. am i a lovebug? maybe?

what lights me up?

the sun, taking a little nap, having a drink; like a coffee or a yerb. being with friends. listening to music. writing. thinking about the philosophical possibilities. children. finding a new show. LOVE. boys. being found attractive. learning languages. reading on occasion. doing schoolwork on occasion. dressing nice. smelling nice. working out. lifting weights. animals. going to parties. kissing. talking online. feeling emotions. i like drinking water. i like alot of things. to make my soul light up? maybe when im driving and listening to tunes. dancing around. candles. nice foods. using chopsticks. cute things. words on paper that make me feel in my soul. kisses on the cheek. a vase with flowers. having painted toenails. ill come back if i think of more

what drains me?

sometimes just being alive tbh. overwhelming amount of work. having bad hair. pimples. sleeping too much (but its so nice). MEN! being with some people for too long. being depressed but its a mental disorder. having too much to do. being sick. a lot but its hard to put into words. I feel drained almost every single moment of the day. I feel as if im constantly trying to beat the drained feeling. i am so tired always. my eyes always have huge bags. i wonder why this is. my back hurts and i always just feel so sad. drained is me.

what are the things that are most important to me in life?

i think love and being loved. i love love. also being able to support my mother. i want to be able to buy her a home one day. i think that there is a lot that she needs to work on. there is no way that i can fix her but i think that if she just has a little home to her own she can make it work. the only reason that i am still here is because of her. i want to make her proud. to see that it was all worth it. being able to be successful in the future is also important. having an apartment with a cat or having a house with my family is something i crave. i also value kindness and being a good person. i value the persuit of knowledge

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

watched the playthrough. thoughts and spoilers:

ryuji is really sweet but the game does him so dirty. for real

also funny how ryuji's persona progression was pirate (ok makes sense) >> the monkey king (i suppose it works thematically?) >> diego (mr worldwide?)

i shouldnt judge personal progression based on pokemon evolution but it is silly to me. just a bit. like makoto's was a bike that became a transformer that went back to being a cooler bike...haru's was a lady -> skull lady -> big dress lady

i wish ann's persona fit didn't. look. like that...i get why it could be justified narratively but like. come on

makoto is crazy useful gameplay wise but an absolute shit driver narratively

it's so funny how every single big bad here can be traced back to the biggest bad, a bald man with a political agenda

actually how most of the bad people from behind the scenes are just old rich men. accurate i suppose

also funny is how akechi is depicted as ultra handsome but he's just a cookie cutter anime twink

the protag is also a cookie cutter anime twink but because he wears glasses he just looks normal. superman clark kent type physics

he doesn't even need those glasses. what's the point

the gameplay itself was fun to watch. it was overstimulating in its excess of anime and sometimes bewildering in its mechanics but the music was good and i like the menu ui design

the romance options piss me off. why does the protag have the option to romance his teacher and not ryuji. sigh

poor haru. her confidant line involves her admitting she may or may not have a crush on the protag and the options essentially boil down to 'i want you' to 'die'...is there not a nicer way to let her down please

i love futaba she is just like. me. i want nothing but the best for her she is like a sister tome. also her splash art is so cute

the voice acting is really good. like i was watching with the english dub but the voice acting is really very good, especially akechi's va

they never explain how a phone app suddenly started letting people into the mind palace system. was igor busy typing out java on his thinkpad. did development get outsourced

akechi???

also i dont understand how exactly shido's support team somehow manipulated the metaverse to make everyone forget about the phantom thieves...there was some stuff about a god in there and a big cup but i think i blanked out during this part. or maybe they had nothing to do with it and im just jumping the gum

mona gets three fakeouts about his death so everyone has to feel sad about him three different times. ryuji gets one fakeout and they all beat him up in the street can we give this boy some justice

i like how p5royal gives the protag back his annoying ass toxic boyfriend but also a mentally ill girlfriend yayyy <33 diversity win your polycule is fucked up

mona only just finds out he can turn into things other than a bus in literally the last arc before they all lose their powers for forever, further proving his status as the most useless player on the team

i like how the last confrontation with dr maruki involves just slugging him as hard as you can

dr maruki's hair looks way darker to me in the anime cutscenes than in the game

'me and my emotional support toxic tulpa situationship boyfriend'

i finally understand why i kept seeing heartwrenching yaoi fanart every february second now with themes around departure death betrayal and guns etc

the ending is very sweet. though im a little confused on why they had to take separate cars to get to the train station so they wouldn't get tailed...who is tailing you? and why?

akechi???????????????

fuck that cat

tl;dr: it was fun. i am now sick in the head

watching a persona 5 playthrough

[actualbird]

peanut is luke's ESA (emotional support animal)

wc: 797

so in main story 5.3, i remember mc saying something about peanut in her internal monolog. something along the lines of like "peanut is a very well trained bird and it's not usually a species of bird one would get as a pet. was peanut given to luke by the NSB?" and i was like probably not! i really doubt that even the most well trained of birds can do very much in the missions that luke has shown himself to have taken (aka missions that expose him to DEADLY GAS THAT KILLED ALL HIS TEAMMATES AND NEARLY KILLED HIM) so for a long while, i figured luke just got peanut as a pet himself

but then today i was like. HM. NOPE. ACTUALLY, THE NSB COULDVE GIVEN PEANUT TO LUKE. just not for investigation purposes, but for luke's shitass mental health

the NSB gives Agent Raven a pet bird as an ESA, an emotional support animal

i know theres a lot of memes about this, the classic "sir, thats my emotional support fictional character" and i do love those memes. but also ESAs are very very helpful in terms of aiding the recovery/treatment of people with mental illness. it's not a cure all and definitely not something that all people will find helpful, of course, but for many, it can really frigging help (TRUST ME, i used to work for an animal assisted therapy health service, ive seen how much of a difference it can make for a lot of people okay).

ESAs have a lot of benefits like lessening anxiety and/or depression (and thus lessening physical symptoms of those things), providing companionship to lessen loneliness (which can exacerbate many mental illnesses), and in general just create this relationship of clear and mutual love which is great all around.

another thing that makes ESAs great is the fact that theyre domesticated animals and thus, they need to be taken of.

enter luke pearce.

hes great. hes awesome. hes smart as hell and skilled in combat and has probably killed people in the past and we just dont have a canon number for his body count. hes also got SUCH A TERRIBLY LOWLY VIEW OF HIMSELF that has been present even before he acquired his terminal illness. and to make all that worse, aside from aaron, luke is alone. he's away from mc and is probably already thinking of not returning because his job is violent and he needs to be violent and he cant let her see him like that.

luke doesnt see much value in himself and has little attachments. what happens when a guy like that ends up having to go on dangerous missions?

you get somebody who gets the job done and gets it done well but does it in a manner that pays no heed to his own safety. im pretty damn sure luke was getting a new stab wound like, every other month.

aaron is so stressed. HES SO STRESSED!!! and while aaron is a surgeon, he can definitely see that luke's mental state is gonna run his physical state into the ground. aaron has tried to get luke into therapy but luke always refused and when the NSB made it a requirement, luke was the MOST UNCOOPERATIVE MFER EVER. luke clams up when anybody tries to get him to confront the self destructive aspects of his personality!! hes always on guard!!!

but then one day aaron sees luke happily playing with some stray cats.

and aaron has a eureka moment.

he calls up some therapists, he pitches his case to NSB higher ups about how giving agent raven an ESA will absolutely totally help him stop being 1 inch from death after missions, and the NSB greenlights it because god they cannot lose agent raven since hes really frigging good

enter Peanut the Myna bird, the NSB sponsored ESA for the world's most depressed secret agent

luke, for the first week, is so so pissed at aaron for this. but then by the next week, hes stopped giving aaron the silent treatment. by the third week, luke is sending aaron pictures of peanut like, every frigging hour

and the change is noticeable. it's not perfect but...

luke takes care of himself more and is more careful not to get into as many life threatening injuries because now he has a little chirpy bird he needs to look after, something that relies on him and needs his care and also ensures he isnt alone, something that he loves and loves him needs him to come home

in short

luke: i am your best agent but i hold myself at such a low value that im basically suicidal in every mission

nsb: not allowed. heres a bird

luke: I WOULD DIE FOR THIS BIRD

nsb: ...try again

luke: I.....WOULD LIVE FOR THIS BIRD

aaron, from the sidelines: //THUMBS UP!!!!!!!

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: Baymax!

Recently I watched Baymax! – a series of animated shorts on Disney+ set in the world of Big Hero 6. This show follows the titular robot as he roams through San Fransokyo, on a never-ending quest to provide free healthcare for all. It’s completely adorable and heartfelt, and consistently funny. Best of all, each episode presents a different physical or mental health issue and handles the situation with refreshing frankness and thoughtfulness. Neither the illness nor the patient is ever the butt of the joke – with the possible exception of the cat who swallowed a Bluetooth earphone, but then an unhappy cartoon kitty will always be funny. Baymax’s clumsiness and literal-mindedness are this show’s primary source of humor – he is a robot after all, and basically just a balloon with legs. He is also, evidently, incapable of giving up; though his patients protest, Baymax will provide care.

I’ve seen some important opinions online from disabled people who have pointed out that Baymax’s tenacity is a flaw. Simply put, it is not a good thing for a healthcare provider to refuse to take no for an answer. Reflecting on the movie Big Hero 6, Baymax will only shut down if he is told, “I am satisfied with my care.” He does not respond to a simple, “No.” The Baymax! shorts portray Baymax’s unshakable determination to help people as harmless and laughable, instead of as an issue with medical consent. In the real world, many patients – especially people with chronic illnesses – are talked over instead of listened to when it comes to making important decisions about their wellbeing. This can lead to both overmedication and undermedication, and just plain improper treatment.

I see where these viewers are coming from. At the same time, Baymax does respond to “no.” He refuses to give up on solving the problem, yes. However, in every episode, when the patient shows that they are not okay with his methods, Baymax changes his methods. For example, when Sofia, a twelve-year-old panicking over her first period, shoves away the video about tampons and hides in the bathroom stall, Baymax quietly passes her the box of beginner pads, and he adopts a significantly calmer and gentler tone for the rest of the episode. Baymax tries a variety of exposure therapy options for Kiko, and he completely changes his approach the moment she mentions her deceased husband, recognizing that this is not simply a phobia. Baymax repeatedly demonstrates that he is listening to his patients, using their own words in his responses to them – telling Kiko to “live a little,” and suggesting that Mbita “be courageous.” When Cass is stressed out to the point of accidentally hurting herself again over Baymax’s attempts to run the coffee shop, Baymax expresses remorse and takes the blame for her injury. The one time we see Baymax completely refuse to take no for an answer is when it’s a matter of life and death for the patient – when Mbita is experiencing anaphylactic shock.

In each short, the upshot is that what the patient needs even more than treatment is someone to acknowledge their emotions and tell them that everything is going to be okay. Baymax fills this role, and he also gives them the tools and information they need to help things be okay. This is a good story to tell, but it is not the only medical story. Not everything can be fixed with band-aids, shenanigans, and a lollipop.

An excellent next step for this show would be to include a story where someone tells Baymax, “I do not consent to your care” – perhaps because they have a chronic illness, something that cannot be “cured” and the person already knows how to cope with. The person could tell Baymax that they have had enough of medical professionals acting like they know everything even though they’ve never actually lived with the condition. This would give Baymax the opportunity to recognize that this is a problem he cannot “fix,” and that he is the kind of support that this person needs right now. Baymax could encourage the person to find a community who understands their experience, and he may help them find a chat room or support group for people with the same illness. And he’d bump into things with his big balloon body, and offer everyone a lollipop, and things would be happy in the end. Because that’s the kind of show this is.

[some-dr-writings]

Nekomaru, Kazuichi and Gundham’s Tsundere S/O got into a fight

Nekomaru Nidai:

·       “Y/N!?” “Ah, it’s you. I’m surprised I didn’t hear you already. Surprised you weren’t talking as you always are.” You huffed, glancing away from your boyfriend, wiping blood off the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand. You sat on the ground, leaning against the back wall of the building. Your face was covered in bruises, and your clothes were completely disheveled, scuffed, slightly torn, with smudges of dirt smeared across it. Nekomaru kneeled before you, gently yet firmly he held your chin between his thumb and pointer finger, just barely tilting our head. “Sloppy, how did they get this kind of damage on you? Did you lose focus?” “Tch, you should see the other guy. I still got in a few hits. Good ones too.” “… Hmm, come. I’ll patch you up and we’ll strategize! I’ll even give you a special variation of ‘IT’!”

·    ��  “It’s not like you to get into fights like this.” You simply watched; eyes unwavering from Nekomaru as he wrapped a small ice pack around one of your many bruises that littered your body. “Are you feeling ill? Even the smallest of bugs can affect an athletes’ judgement! Even sleeping in slightly later can be a sign! Though… I don’t see anything wrong with you.” Then his gaze met yours. “It’s mental.” You glanced away signaling to Nekomaru that he had hit the nail on the head. You were speaking a lot less than usual, just a few snarky comments. Before he could get a read on what it was you mumbled something. “What? If you’re going to say something, say it with conviction! No holding back!” He then roared, likely being heard for miles around as evidenced by your ringing ears and the sight of many flocks of birds suddenly taking flight, far beyond the window and even the walls that surrounded the school. “Those assholes were talking shit about you! Spewing insults and rumors they had no idea of!” “So, they took your temper to their advantage, no wonder you’re so beaten up.” “I’m not a fighter so it doesn’t fuckin’ matter anyway!”

·       Standing up Nekomaru smiled, placing the supplies back into the first-aid kit. You flinched, feeling the heat raising to your cheeks. “I-it wasn’t for your sake, dumb butt! As if I’d let some trash speak poorly on anything related to me. As if I’d date anyone less than perfection.” Then your cheeks completely flushed red as you froze for a moment before suddenly abruptly standing up. “A-any way! I’m… Going… somewhere! T-TO TOWN! TRAINING, PARKOUR! DON’T WAIT UP!” Before you could dash out the room you felt a hand place itself on your shoulder, his other hand cupping your cheek, turning you to face him. He then smirked, leaning his forehead against yours. “I love you too. But!” He then took a step back. “If you’re going out to sweat out your emotions, you’ll need your manager there, so I’m coming along too!” “O-okay, fine whatever, you can come along, I guess…”

·       Nekomaru couldn’t help but adore seeing that ever darkening blush, as you tried hiding your face, concealing that wobbly smile, even if you were absolutely failing to do so at this point. No matter what, he’s was going to be by your side, supporting you however he could, whether you wanted it or not! You were his partner, and he was determined for you to keep being amazing, to surpass him in every way!

    Kazuichi Soda:

·       “Hmm? Two thirteen!? Where did the time go!?” Kazuichi nervously ran a hand through his hair, seeing how early it was, meaning he had worked nonstop through the night. He quickly set about packing his tools and other supplies, fretting about upsetting you by messing up his sleep schedule… again. He especially felt guilty for how much effort you put into helping him live a little healthier and not spend so much of his time tinkering that he keels over from malnutrition or lack of sunlight.

·       Rushing to the house he tripped over himself when dashing out of his workshop, crashing into a wall in the process. It was… a rather chaotic crash, hearing a deep, resonating crack through his head. He winced feeling his nose in great pain, something cascade from his nostrils. He also noticed how he suddenly couldn’t smell anything; not the rain, or metal, not even motor oil though he had gone nose blind to it long ago. “Oh, shoot.” The guilt only piling on, now he was going to worry you senseless. This was just… fan-freaking-tastict.

·       The very least he could do was not wake you so early in the morning. Though trying to hide this would only worry you more so he’d tell you about what happened after you had woken up. As quietly as he could Kazuichi slinked through the house, tiptoeing into the master bathroom.

·       Suddenly a pair of ear splitting screams pierced through the air. “Kazu-baby!?” “Babe!? WHY ARE YOU BLOODY!?” “WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR FACE WAS RAN OVER BY A TRUCK!?” The last thing Kazuichi expected to see when turning on the bathroom light was you in the room when it was dark. You both were panicking, you holding Kazuichi’s face, examining his bloodied nose, as Kazuichi held your face noticing how strangely your nose matched his with that red gushing from it. You also had a lot of cuts and bruises riddled in your flesh to match it.

·       After fretting over one another, making sure any and all wounds were patched up, you and he sat side by side on the end of the bed. “What happened to you!?” “Well…” You sighed, your features seeming to grow heaver at the mere thought of whatever happened, sending a deep pain to shoot through your husband’s heart. “I was out for my nightly jog. On my way back home though I was mugged. I managed to escape but this person thought it was a good idea to just keep going after me, so I kept just jogging for a while, even after I thought I lost them, I… didn’t want to lead them home so I just kept going and going, and… I… had been through enough tonight and I didn’t want to deal with the police so I… I skipped going to the hospital. But I didn’t want to wake you up, so I decided to try patching myself up with the lights off.” “Y/N!” You hated seeing the worry in Kazuichi expression, so you immediately took his hands, squeezing them tightly, interlacing your fingers together. “B-but I’m okay! I swear! But what about you? I thought you’d be in bed by now.” “… Uh… I was working, realized how late it was and tripped into a wall when rushing back into the house-“ “Oh. My. Goodness. I’ve married an idiot!” “But what you went through was more important! How are you feeling? Are you sure you’re alright? Are you hurt anywhere else?” “No, no, I’m fine! But Kazu-baby, you need sleep if you smashed into a wall with enough force to break your nose! Come on, let’s just get to bed.”

·       Neither of you got to bed that night, too worried about the other to do so. “Hey, Babe… Want to just cuddle and watch a movie? I…” “… I could really use that tonight. And maybe we could just have a cat nap in the day.” “Heh, yeah. A day lazing around with you sounds fantastic.” So gently he kissed your temples, scared of hurting you, but needing to show you in even a small way how much he cared.

    Gundham Tanaka:

·       With a groan Gundham stirred from his rest, realizing his phone vibrated so much it had fallen off the bedside table, screen side up, lighting up the whole room to which Gundham hissed, shielding himself behind the quilt and sheets. Slowly he crept out, reaching his hand over the bed, patting the ground till his fingers felt that smooth device. Squinting his eyes, he saw he had gotten many messages from you, but the last one simply said ‘never mind. You better not wake up because of this.’ Well… too late for that. Almost every message was a variation of ‘please pick me up’, but then the last few realizing that because you were texting him to pick you up because the buses didn’t run this late, Gundham would probably be asleep by now. Stiffly he sat up, lightly stretching before going to the closet.

·       Walking into the rain, that soft pitter-patter that surrounding him caused him to wonder if by chance it was raining where you were… Just in case he brought a second umbrella, keeping it tucked under his arm… It was also rather chilly out so he brought an extra coat… He also wasn’t sure if you had brought any shoes suited for rain and puddles, so he brought a pair… And from the texts it seems you have been up for a while so perhaps you’d be hungry, so he also brought some leftovers in a small container with him… And maybe- Gundham abruptly shook his head at his own behavior. He needed to get going, not constantly going and in and out for something else… But maybe- “No! Enough of this!” With renewed conviction he strode down the sidewalk, not looking back.

·       It was a rather long walk to be sure, it’d take an hour by train or bus so Gundham jogged along, occasionally checking his phone to make sure he was heading the right way. The Devas huddled in the scarf, snuggled into Gundham, concealing themselves in that warmth, a few occasionally chattering. “I agree, this is entirely too strange, but that’s exactly why we must make haste.” The splashes of his feet against the puddles rippled and warped the reflection of those bight city lights that were drawing ever nearer as Gundham dashed past.

·       Once at the edge, where the streets and towering buildings met Gundham had looked down for but a moment, checking the apartment address when two of his Devas poked their heads out of the scarf, sniffing the air as one lightly nipped his neck. “Huh? My love is…” With a firm nod he began to follow their directions and dropped the phone into his pocket.

·       “Y/N…” You didn’t move, simply glancing at him for a moment. “I told you not to wake up.” Your voice was so horse, so quiet, that even the softest patter of the rain drowned your voice out, Gundham had only understood your words being your Soul’s mate, having been with you for so long he could have predicted it should he have tried too. There you laid, curled up into a ball, hugging your knees to your chest on a bench in the park, under the dead light of a lamp pole. Gundham kneeled before you, holding out the umbrella, himself getting out from under it’s protection in the process before opening the second one for the Devas and himself. You sighed, sitting up. “Since you’re here anyway, I suppose I’ll accept your company. Not that I needed it, I, I’m fine… Just… forgot the time is all.”

·       That little blush that dusted your cheeks suddenly flared up feeling the warmth of the coat that surrounded you and seeing the small container of chicken teriyaki held out before you. “T-the hell did you bring this for?” “Nourishment is a necessity for building up strength, and we have quite a ways to traverse before we’ll return to our domains.” With trembling hands you took the container. You took a bite, slowly chewing it, taking in all the flavors… You tried holding it back, but quickly those tears mixed in with the rain that dripped down your cheeks. “it’s not good cold…”

·       The tears that came pouring out, through hiccups and sobs you shoveled in bite after bite, all the while, Gundham taking off his coat and scarf, draping them over you. “Why, W-why do I even try anymore? I do everything they want, and they STILL blow up in my face! Why does mom always take their side!? I try to get along with her new partner, but they just never will try with me! AT LEAST I’M TRYING TO MAKE FATHER’S DEATH EASY ON HER, SO WHY DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE THINGS SO DIFFICULT!? WHY IS MOM WITH SUCH A JACK ASS!? WHY… why can’t I have my mom back? Why does she have to glom onto that fucking jerk!? Can’t she see they’re just taking advantage of her!? I… why? W-why.” Even as you hugged yourself, leaning forward, he didn’t dare move as you rested your head against his shoulder.

·       Not saying a word you sat up, only now noticing the rain boots that were placed before you. As you placed them on, Gundham closed one of the umbrellas. He stood closely beside you as the pair of you walked along. “… you didn’t have to come.” “I know.” “It must have been a real pain to get up so late.” “It was.” “And to walk all the way out here.” “Jog.” “That’s even worse.” “It certainly was.” “… thank you.” “…” A light pink dusted his cheeks as he took a step closer to you, now shoulder to shoulder. Though exhausted and feeling like you were on the edge of both blowing up and collapsing, the gesture pulled at the corner of your lips, drawing a soft smile from you.

[mg549]

rainbow high but they each have distinct and varying styles

hi im putting my Disscusion under the post cause ik lots of ppl just wanna rb the art but also i have Thoughts

-ruby’s style is the strongest in the series imo. they designed a butch lesbian and nobody told them ig. my only slight change was giving her cowboy boots cause if shes from “the country” then she should... actually... look like shes from the country. maybe its just cause i grew up in nc but i would love some southern rep from a character where being from the south isnt their whole Personality. anyways i think she should wear western style button downs is all im trying to say

-bella... her style is ALL over the place. since she is a set designer i wanted to make her a theatre kid!!! her style is somewhere in the 40s/50s zone of vintage inspired so that way she has a definite Range of styles and silhouettes to choose from! im a sucker for the new look bc its so Shapes but i could also see her pulling off some long wool circle skirts and peasant top blouses! i also gave her some hearing aids and braces which you can probably only see if you zoom in dhjnf

-poppy got the biggest design overhaul of anyone. i kept the butterfly theme and nothing else fbhdjd. since her music has some definite funk energies i wanted to give her a 70s inspired look with some glam platforms and denim overalls! i think we deserve bellbottom pantsuit poppy. i also changed her hair bc literally the rh main cast all have practically IDENTICAL hair styles save for the direction theyre parted in. i wanted to give her those anime butterfly headphones but toned down slightly hdsjdnd oh and! shes also wearing glasses bc once again we get a whole cast of characters and not one of them is wearing glasses like smh literally like half of all ppl wear glasses?? anyways in terms of personality i wanted to keep her bubbly but instead of just making music thru like Divine Inspiration i think she should take a more realistic and nuanced approach!! show her nerding out abt music theory and talking about the themes her pieces represent and the stories they tell

-sunny’s design is Mostly the same! her hair is slightly changed, i wanted it to match the cover she drew for winnerz! i also made the rainbows on her outfit pride flag colors, and gave her some button pins on her jacket! every Token Anime Kid ive ever met has buttons plastered all over their bags and jackets and its a nice touch that gives her some more Character i feel

-jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade. jade. i wish she had kept her dark lipstick. and also that she wasnt just billie eilish. and that she was the token goth of the group. her stitched up shirt is inspired by a shirt i wore in high school! it was from the 90s and SUPER beat up to the point where it was literally disintegrating so i just sewed up any new holes that would form with contrasting thread it was a Look. i hc her as wearing contacts bc when she tried wearing glasses she got upset that she couldnt show off her makeup as much gvhbnf! i also gave her a spider necklace bc i think she should still like spiders BUT i HATE the jokes abt “therapy tarantulas” bc only dogs and like 10 horses can actually be service animals and the whole thing w people lying about their untrained dogs/cats (or worse, exotic animals that they should not even own) being service/therapy/emotional support animals just so they can bring them in public is!! Really Bad!! and it hurts people who actually do need service dogs bc untrained dogs are well. untrained and set a bad example for how service animals will actually act! and owners who print out fake certifications also make it harder for disabled ppl bc it leads to store owners thinking that theres some sort of paper they can ask the owner to flash to prove the service dog is trained when that. is not actually true and theres no such thing as an actual certificate for this. if a service dog company offers a certificate/card/whatever to show authority it is specifically for disabled people to do when faced with this issue and has no actual official meaning. and ANOTHER thing that bothers me abt this joke is that.. Therapy For What? it would be really cool to see a canonically mentally ill character as a protagonist for a doll line! it would be fantastic to see them opening up that conversation for neurodivergent kids and their parents! but we have no indication for that at All just haha funy therapy spider :| anyways jade is an nd lesbian my canon now

-skyler is punk now! shes a fashion major and i think it would be a really interesting character to explore, someone who is shy but dresses really flashy and tough! i also changed her theme material from denim to the blue leather she wears at the party bc im biased towards alt fashion. her hair was really fun to design, with a big Cloud of Fluff at the top and long braids underneath bc get it!! its Rain Cloud Shaped :] i dont have much else to say bc this design is def in my Comfort Zone of styles. anyways we stan andershaw here they literally are in love

-vi vi! i didnt change much bc i dooooooont really know that much about influencer/mainstream fashion tbqh... i Did give her That One Halter Top Style that literally 2 other of the main characters are both wearing instead of a loose 1 piece dress tho. i also decided she should be into holographic fabric bc its very Sleek and Future Is Now and Influencercore. i also think the sleek tight fitting holo shirt/skirt is a good contrast to Big Fluffy Fur Jacket. she also has a prosthetic leg idk i just thought it would be a good Touch 

overall rh def has some MAJOR problems with diversity in all aspects and it shows in their fashion design as well! if you put the characters in black and white save for a few patterned pieces they would all be interchangeable and i honestly think that its representative of the larger problem! maybe i do follow the monster high design philosophy that every piece should only make sense on the character its from, but the fact that they cant even diversify FASHION despite it being a Fashion Doll Brand really Says It All.

[ginkgomoon]

Victor’s Aura- A Character Aura Study

This post is my take on Victor’s aura, taken from my knowledge and intuition to depict what kind of aura he has! I did one on Gavin, as well as Gavin’s astrological birth chart so if you haven’t seen them, you can read them after this post!

What is an Aura? “Aura” by the dictionary is “the distinctive atmosphere or quality that seems to surround and be generated by a person, thing, or place”. 

It’s essentially the electromagnetic energy field that surrounds all living things. It’s the magnetic field of vibration like how a lighted candle is lit and how a scent or perfume surrounds a flower. In fact, it’s correctly described as an extension of the body. It’s a part of every cell. Your aura can be affected by anything, including traumas, memories and emotions. It can tell us a lot about a person’s mental, physical, emotional state, vitality and path of life. Habitual thoughts, emotions and even illnesses can be clearly revealed. If a person changes their long standing thoughts and emotions, the aura will too reflect that. 

Victor’s Aura There are many layers to the aura but let’s start off with the “ground” colour. This is the main colour that dominates the aura both in size and intensity. It’s arguably the most important colour as it shows what the person should be doing in their life. 

Victor’s main ground colour is dark yellow (keep in mind this is not defined as “murky”- when someone is lost and muddled in their life). People with dark yellow as their ground are confident, well adjusted and analytical. As a result, they take life one step at a time, one goal at a time, ensuring every project is seen through properly to completion to avoid problems and setbacks later. They are patient people, setting their worthwhile goals in no hurry to reach them, as they know without a doubt that they will obtain their deserved reward in the end. They prefer to do things rationally and in a logical manner, especially at work where they are required to make use of their good memory and love for detail. As they are ambitious and persistent, they often take up roles of leadership, responsibility and of importance. From his corrections on MC’s reports to the food he makes at Souvenir (that is insisted to be cooked according to certain temperatures), Victor is no doubt a detail-oriented leader even whether if the goal he wants to achieve is related to work or not. 

MC: It’s a sort of mark that can be left in literature or in a photograph… and I can feel it. Victor’s eyes are lowered. In his clear and tranquil eyes, there are ripples of light and shadows. Victor: Such as? The smile tugging at the corner of his mouth is clear, and I ponder this seriously. MC: For example, the way I write proposals has changed. The format of my proposals has changed. The indent of the first line, font size 15, 1.5 spacing between lines… it’s the format you find most pleasing to the eye! Victor’s eyebrow quirks. Victor: That’s all? MC: There’s more! I’ve become so much more picky with food. I never used to complain that food tastes bad, but eating at Souvenir has cultivated my palate. Now, when I eat even Michelin meals, I feel as if something’s lacking… -CN Exhibition Date 

“What happened with SE is just an example. We’re from different businesses and different fields. There’s no need to compare yourself with me. Also, I’m older than you. When you’ve reached my age, you might attain the achievements I have today.” -CN Night Meeting Date

“Slow and steady wins the race” is the moral that they live by, but sometimes adhering to this credo may frustrate others as they can be so analytical and detail oriented at times- usually at great lengths. A cute little add from the Tender Regards Date around the concept of snail mail, time (Victor’s evol!) and the goal of always reaching your destination in the end demonstrate this this motif in Victor’s relationship with MC.

“Looks like you should have received this Future Mail. Apart from supporting your event, I’m only going to do this once. This will not be repeated. The things I want to say to you are all in this videotape. It only belongs to you.” -CN Tender Regards Date 

“When will you finally understand? It’s all right. I’m patient. I’ll wait for you to see the light slowly.” -Rooftop Date

Although they have feelings, they only ever reveal it to people close to them. They enjoy the detail and technicality of conversations and find it hard to talk about their emotions. Victor’s Exhibition and Tender Regards Date are very useful sources of information in relation to these topics, as it displays Victor’s deep emotions of affection to MC and highlights the importance of expressing emotions to those you love. Dark yellow aura peoples’ greatest lesson in life is to be more emotionally open, and when do they do, it usually occurs later in life. 

“The writer wrote it down herself - “The time I spent loving someone, not a single second of it was wasted.” I rarely hear such words leave Victor’s mouth, and it makes me feel a little surreal. In my memory, we very rarely talk about the topic of ‘love’. Maybe it’s because he rarely says what’s in his heart. Maybe it’s because I’m used to being thick-skinned. We never have the opportunity to seriously understand the meaning in these words. -CN Exhibition Date 

“Do you still remember the special episode on “Feelings” from before? Actually, this theme was inspired by that episode. Giving gifts is a common way to express how one feels. But it’s not that easy to send a gift to the future. With Future Mail, the sender can convey their feelings and surprises in this gift to the other party across time.” -CN Tender Regards date 

People with dark yellow as their ground enjoy system and order such as routines at work and in their home life. This is applied to Victor’s strict schedules in his day to day life, such as taking on what time he sleeps and when he gets up to go on his morning jogs. They need to consider new ideas before grudgingly accepting them. This is especially applied to when Victor always says “just this once” to MC when he’s being “childish” with her (but we really know that isn’t the case, he knows this all too well, too). 

“Because a certain greedy cat always says she wants to eat something sweet after dinner, I made pudding before leaving the house. Do you think this is a mark of how I’ve been changed?” -CN Exhibition Date 

Next is Victor’s “radiating” colour. This represents his interests and motivations. It adds strength to the ground colour. They can work well in harmony, some can conflict. 

I would take Victor’s radiating as violet. Violet is a very highly spiritual colour, as people with this colour as their radiating will have a very spiritual take on life, as they are deep thinkers who like to analyse everything and think matters though logically. They are also naturally intuitive. Violet radiatings have the ability to come up with unique and unusual solutions to problems. As they enjoy learning, they have the potential to become experts in their field of endeavour- which is no surprise for Victor as he’s basically an “on top of the world tyrant” in the industry of finances. In addition, they feel things deeply, but rather operate things on an emotionally free level- again with the ground aura traits to enhance this! However, Victor too, has a high EQ despite this.

“I’m no different from you. There are many things I cannot do or force to make happen. It’s okay to not be strong, it’s okay to not do well. You don’t have to bottle up your emotions.” … “I won’t tell you to keep holding on no matter what difficulties you face. That isn’t realistic. There will come a time when you will become an even better version of yourself who will have enough courage and experience to deal with all of this.” -CN Colours of Rain Date 

Overall, Victor’s aura of darker yellow and violet depict him as more of a straightforward kind of person, hardworking and articulate, however soon we realise there’s more to what we see of Victor, like how MC thinks that Victor comes off as a “heartless CEO” throughout the main story chapters but he slowly warms up to her whilst determining to prove her wrong. Victor is wise, and doesn’t bother to put in his personal efforts to where it’s not needed, but when it’s up to him- he strives to go all the way for perfection and with the best of his ability. He spends a lot of time in deep contemplation to determine his plans of attack which allows him to execute them well. His values and worth ethics will always in the end allow him to make time for MC, no matter how busy he is :) 

And lastly…

Victor leans against the window, his face still written with distaste, but he does not attempt to remove that childish-looking blanket. He brings the red cup to his lips and gently blows on it. The warm light encases him, softening the aura surrounding him. His outline also appears gentler. He doesn’t look as impossible to get close to. My eyes land on Victor, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He puts down the cup in his hands, lowering his eyes, as though deep in thought. This is a Victor I have never seen before… In this moment, he seems to have put down his stubbornness and distant aura - becoming someone within reach. Only now does Victor finally feel my gaze. He raises his head to look at me. -CN Warm Date 

All of a sudden, he lifts his other hand gently. A water droplet pelts onto his palm, as though pulling him into the pattering rain. Seeing this, I find myself subconsciously frozen in place. Because of the enshrouding misty rain, the Victor before me appears warmer and more tender than usual. -CN Tender Regards Date 

It always has and always will be MC to see this side of him- the tenderness and the willingness of how he opens up to her- his aura willingly to embrace hers too. Fun fact- auras can deflect off one another if you’re with someone you dislike. But when it’s with two people in love, their auras connect, combine and produce an even brighter and bigger accommodating aura for the both of them. He’s certainly living working towards to achieve his greatest life goals- both in his businesses and being with MC, striving together to make great changes and milestones in their respective industries. Without a doubt, she has helped Victor’s aura grow, expand and shine the many rays through his doubts, allowing a light from within to burn brighter and evolve him into more of the brilliant, hardworking and tender man we know today.

[bitchesgetriches]

Auntie bitches, I come seeking advice but not the financial kind. My best friend moved out of her parents house a while back and in with her brother at their (since passed) grandparents house. She has a chronic illness and depression so I know keeping up with housework and chores is hard but,, it’s to the point where I’m wondering if I need to stage an intervention with her parents. I’m 95% sure her pets are being neglected. I visit her a lot and she never mentions her bearded dragon. When I checked on him the other day his tank was filthy, his heat lamps completely off and cold to the touch. He had some weird discolorations on his skin that I’ve never seen before and don’t appear in previous pictures of him. I asked her when she last checked on him and she kept dodging the question and would not give me an answer and couldn’t be bothered to actually come inside the room and look at him or check on these dark black spots. She has a kitten that she adopted a bit after thanksgiving that lives cooped up in her super messy bedroom and is only let out a few times a day (The kitten (Callie) and brothers dog have never been properly introduced or socialized to each other so it’s just stressful and scary for Callie.) The bathroom connected to the bedroom has liter scattered absolutely everywhere and the rug reeks of piss. Her box is always way too dirty for such a small cat (speaking as a cat owner myself). Her tiny (read Concerning-ly small) 3lbs cat has more poop and pee built up in the litter box than my 9lb tabby produces nearly a week. So it obviously hasn’t been done in a while and is absolutely never done when I visit her multiple times a month. The stinky rug has been like that for at least a month. I can’t count on her older brother for help bc he honestly doesnt take care of his dog properly either since he has depression as well and is severely overweight, basically obese. I’m scared for her pets, I’m genuinely worried that I’m going to find her bearded dragon dead one day. She loves her pets and would have never let any of this happen before she moved out, but now I just feel like she’s lost all standards of living for herself and her animals. She genuinely believes that having pets is one of the very few things keeping her from ending it all but I’m worried that she’s just not in the right mindset to have her own pets and hasn’t been for a while. She and her mom have a messy, mostly bad relationship. On the flip side she and her dad have a good relationship, so I’m wondering if I should go ahead and call him and ask if we can talk in person. I just feel hopeless, I grew up with her and through her depression diagnosis at a pretty young age so I’m used to depression rooms and perpetually messiness but it’s gotten bad. The rest of the house is messy but not that bad, the dishes are forever piled up in the sink, her brother and I have expressed concern that she literally never leaves the house and constantly has every single blind/curtain pulled in the house and spends hours, if not basically the entire day on the computer gaming.

I almost didn’t answer this, since it’s really not our area of expertise. But mental health and pets are, like, two of our main interests outside of personal finance so I couldn’t resist.

Your friend needs immediate help. If she’s struggling with depression (and possibly a gaming addiction, or relying too heavily on gaming as her only outlet), then she probably can’t see that her neglect of her pets is abusive. She needs to consult with a mental health professional, and she needs the support of people in a position to help her.

Which leads me to: that person might not be you. In fact, the best help you can provide her with is getting her parents involved. The only other thing I’d do is to sweep in and do what you can to set the animals up for better health. Because one person’s mental illness should not put another living creature in pain and distress. But again: it is OK if you aren’t the person to give her all the help she needs. You’re her friend, not her parent or her doctor.

This is probably controversial, but... I have a big problem with those who allow their mental health to negatively affect children or pets in their care. I know this isn’t necessarily fair, but it stems from my friend’s daughter being neglected by my friend’s ex-husband, who blamed the neglect and emotional abuse on his bipolar disorder. As far as I’m concerned, the best thing he could have done for his daughter at the time was to relinquish custody, but instead he held onto custody until the state had to get involved. It fucking sucked. And if I’m being honest, my bias in this scenario has me saying that your friend should have her pets temporarily removed from her care. 

Ok, this was probably horrible unhelpful, so I’ll just end with a link to some of our mental health advice:

Ask the Bitches: "How Do I Protect My Own Mental Health While Still Helping Others?"

Our Master List of 100% Free Mental Health Self-Care Tactics 

[one-abuse-survivor]

Is it wrong to be very angry at my sister for certain behaviors of hers?? we're 98% sure she has OCD, so she will constantly wash her hands, ask if anything touched her, clean her stuff if it's been contaminated etc. I don't care about her hand washing, but it almost always leaves the floor wet. I don't care that she cleans all her stuff, just feels a little insulting when she does it after I touch something. I don't care if she is worried something touched her, but she asks all the time. (1/3)

She doesn't really clean up either, she leaves her dirty dishes and trash in her room and our mother has to clean up. She never puts away her clothes, when she knocks towels out of the closet cause the hand towel in the bathroom is contaminated she never cleans it up. She uses a new towel every single time she bathes. Also whenever she asks is anything touched her she will not let it go until you answer her. She won't even pet her cats, and she wonders why they like me more. (2/3)

I know it's probably very shitty of me to get mad at her for doing this stuff, especially since she's got a chronic illness and (probably) OCD. But I can't help it, and I feel like a hypocrite for being mad about certain things cause I haven't swept my room in months cause of depression and executive dysfunction. It doesn't help that she's kinda a jerk to me a lot so that fuels my anger. I don't know if I'm just looking for reasons to be mad, but I have got to stop cause it's not her fault (3/3)

Hi, anon.

I want to start by saying I'm glad you know her behaviour isn't her fault, because from what you've shared here it does sound like she's struggling a lot. I really hope she (as well as you) is getting all the help and support she needs to handle her symptoms.

I don't think emotions are ever wrong per se; I think what we do with them is what matters most, and this is no exception. Sometimes, when people close to us struggle with mental illness, it's frustrating. Sometimes anger can arise, and I don't think suppressing it and trying to "stop" ourselves from feeling it is helpful for anyone, because bottling up our emotions more often than not ends up backfiring.

That being said, anger and frustration don't justify how we act toward others. That's why I think it's important to find ways to let it out/express ourselves without causing harm. From what you've shared here, I think that's the best you can do right now, nonnie. That, and establishing any boundaries you might need that are doable for her right now.

I also think it's worth reminding yourself that her symptoms aren't a personal attack on you when these feelings appear. When she cleans something after you touch it, that's most likely a consequence of her fears and struggles (and possible obsessions), and not a reflection of what she thinks of you. That doesn't mean it's not allowed to hurt, but I do think reminding ourselves that other people's mental health issues aren't about us can help to rationalise our emotions in situations like this.

I hope things get better ❤

[thanatophobia-thoughts]

Trigger warning: Suicide.

One of the death anxiety groups I’m a member of has banned all talk of suicide. Even the allusion to suicide. Given that plenty of people with thanatophobia also suffer from suicidal ideations (I’m not one of them), I find this to be strange that suicide would be banned from the conversation, but nothing else, like health anxiety, the passing of other people, etc., is.

I do not encourage suicide in any circumstance, however I’m not here to police anyone against it, either. Many humans want a dignified death, and we offer this to our pets through euthanasia, thinking we are making the “right decision” for them. Having been previously suicidal, and understanding the pain of dignity loss, terminal illness, and much else, I am not here to say suicide is bad in every single circumstance. I will say that it is not a choice I encourage, and I would rather people find alternatives, but life is what it is, and I’ll not take a dignified death, or a choice, away from a person, either.

Sometimes, that choice is all that keeps us going.

So I am here to talk about how the choice to die is important today, and why I think that discussion needs to exist, in general.

I tried to kill myself when I was much younger, multiple times, for what I now consider very stupid reasons. Among them was, in fact, to punish the people I thought should care more about me in life, knowing they would suffer if I died, and realize how important I was to them. Others were the more usual, the pain of growing up and changing roles, status, and much else, in life. Everything was out of whack, and I didn’t have a good support group back then, nor was I telling anyone what was wrong with me. Despite wanting to punish people for not caring, I never let them know that I wanted them to care more, that I needed more, because I was caught up in stoic ideations of never letting anyone know you have weaknesses.

I’ve grown past that.

My dad’s told me he’s considered suicide, when he was a caretaker for his father. I’m aware, as well, that he doesn’t want to be in the same state as his father, and would rather commit suicide – this, while professing to want immortality, and being afraid of death.

He’s more afraid of having someone wipe his ass for him, than he is of death. He’s more afraid of losing his dignity, and having people remember him in that final, worn down, disease destroyed, state.

I would rather wipe his ass, and have him carry on to see what comes next, although, I’d really rather not be in that position, either. I know the kind of mental drain that will be. The emotional drain, to see my father reduced to that – but there was a time in my life when he was changing my diapers. Fair’s fair, right?

I know that him knowing he has that choice is important to him, and I’m aware that he might take it one day. It won’t be a reflection on how well I took care of him, or even of how little I meant.

In some ways, it will be because I meant too much for him to inflict the burden of himself on me any further.

It’s a thought that’s hard to cope with, when my brain goes off on imagining scenarios of the future, where we all end up at our worst.

I think he might last a while longer, because he knows it is an option. Because he knows he can, I believe, he won’t, for quite a while.

It’s hard to explain that contradiction to someone who hasn’t experienced it.

When I was getting over my suicidal ideations, I found power in knowing I could. I found power in writing characters who suffered similarly, knew they could, and found reasons not to. Created timelines, “I should live this long, to see this movie, and then I can check in with these thoughts again”. “I should wait until my cat dies”. “I should” “I should” “I should”.

I should became a mantra that turned into I can.

And “I can” is powerful.

I can commit suicide. Yes, I can. I absolutely can, any day, any time, for any reason. I have no desire to do it, but I can, if I ever have that desire.

But, if I ever do have it, I should wait for my cats. They’re only 6 years old now. I think they have 10 more years, at least. I should live that long, because I made a promise to them that I would be their forever home. So I will be.

And then ten years pass. I can commit suicide – but now I’m 41. Maybe my brother has children, or maybe I’m finally preparing to visit Japan. Maybe I started a new book series. I should attend to these things first, and then maybe, maybe, maybe.

And then I’m 81.

I can commit suicide.

But, maybe I should first go get breakfast at IHOP with the family on Sunday first, and hear my nieces and nephews make fun of me for drinking decaf.

And then I’m 85, and I have cancer. I can…but maybe I want to try and be 100, now that I’ve been told I can’t. And then I die at 87, from cancer, no choice of my own – and yet, it was, all along. Because at any moment I could have made the choice to stop things early.

I’m afraid of death.

I don’t want to die, although I have craved it in the past. I know others who are afraid, and crave it, at once. I don’t envy them – but I think they can find power in knowing it is a choice, even when it doesn’t feel like it at times.

Even when the pain seems insurmountable, and it feels like the only choice is to end it – it is a choice. And I think “I should” statements are powerful in those moments, to remind us of the choice, and help us make the best one in the moment.

Even if it’s “I should wait until I have finished my drink”, “I should wait until I have cleaned the dishes so someone else isn’t dealing with the mess”, “I should take a shower first”.

A mantra of “I should” can keep you going forward.

And so I think, discussion of suicide should be a part of thanatophobia, because of the people who suffer both. Because someone in one of the groups committed suicide and couldn’t talk about it, because any allusion or mention of it, was banned. Because this dual suffering of fearing death and thinking death ends all our pain, is a terrible thing to endure alone, especially when the fear creates so much pain, and is so constant, so unending, that death seems preferable even when it is our greatest fear.

[tohruhondablog]

🐱🐭 🍙 🐶🐍 🍙 🐮🐴 🍙 🐯🐏 🍙🐰🐗 🍙 🐉🐓 🍙 🐵

What is Fruits Basket & Why to Watch It

Spoiler free!

What is Fruits Basket

Fruits Basket (フルーツバスケット, Furūtsu Basuketto) sometimes abbreviated Furuba or Fruba (フルバ), is a Japanese manga series written and illustrated by Natsuki Takaya. It was serialized in the semi-monthly Japanese magazine Hana to Yume, published by Hakusensha, from 1999 to 2006. It is compiled into a total of 23 tankōbon volumes. (Fruits Basket Wiki)

Fruits Basket (2019) is the reboot anime adaption of the manga of the same name by Natsuki Takaya. The 2019 anime faithfully adapts the entirety of the manga, along with a completely new cast and staff from the original 2001 anime. The series streams on both Crunchyroll and FunimationNow, while Funimation holds the license to home video rights. (Fruits Basket Wiki)

Synopsis:

Tohru Honda is a high schooler who has just lost her mother, meaning she has now lost both her parents. She doesn’t want to bother her living relatives, her grandfather and few of his relatives, so she determines she will support herself by living in a tent. She manages for a little while, until the owners of the land, Shighre and Yuki Sohma (her classmate), discover her living there. Shigure invites her back to his house to determine why she was living in a tent in the first place. After learning her reasoning, it is decided she will stay with them for awhile in exchange for much needed cooking and cleaning around the house. In the midst of this discussion another Sohma relative Kyo arrives. Chaos ensues and Tohru accidentally falls into him, which turns him into a cat. She panics, thinking it was her fault, and bumps into the other two who also transform into animals. The Sohma's then explain to her that their family is cursed to transform into the 12 animals of the Zodiac, plus the cat, if they’re embraced by a member of the opposite gender. From here we follow Tonru as she lives her live with the Sohmas.

Why Watch Fruits Basket

My main reasons which I will go in depth on are these: the characters, the plot, and the animation and music.

Tohru Honda, Kyo, Yuki & Shigure Sohma

The characters

Tohru is an amazing main character. You will hear me time and time again mention that I highly relate to her in many ways. I will include a post introducing myself which explains why I feel qualified to give analysis from her perspective later. Yes, she is clumsy and a bit naive at times, but she is also incredibly mentally and emotionally strong. She manages to maintain an almost entirely positive and driven outlook, despite the grieving process she is currently going through. She is a wonderful person who truly cares for and puts others before herself. She will be a friend to anyone that will let her. In fact, her two best friends are a reformed former member of an all female gang, and a goth girl with a psychic power that has caused people to fear and avoid her. The friendship between them is incredible. They’re the perfect example of how women should love, support and build each other up. The Sohmas are also very interesting, because they have all suffered so much trauma from living in a family that is inherently abusive, due to the nature of their curse. This show may be considered a shoujo/romance and also has some great comedy, but don’t let it fool you. It’s very dark at times, showing the backstories of mental illness and trauma from almost every major type of abuse. The characters are not at all one-dimensional. The theme of this show is growth and change, and all of the characters grow in incredible ways. The various relationships between Tohru, the Sohmas, and the students at her school are very unique. Even minor characters are developed well with very real emotions and personalities.

The plot

The Zodiac curse is interesting all by itself, but the concept of growth and change is so much fun to watch. You’ll be rooting for the characters to be their best selves and live the happy lives they deserve. The plot is never what you’d expect and there is never a dull moment. The comedy never ceases to make me laugh, the romantic moments make my heart beat faster in my chest, and the depictions of trauma are informative and taken very seriously. There are very few shows, anime or otherwise, that can give me real physical chills from the emotions shown in them. Fruits basket has given me chills countless times. I can’t promise you that you won’t cry sometimes, but I will promise you that if you give this show a real chance it is worth all of the hype it gets. I can’t tell you how much this show has helped me learn about myself and others, and process my own traumas. This show addresses mental health in a very real, yet entertaining way that is easy to understand. I think almost anyone can relate to at least one of the characters, and I believe everyone could benefit in some way from watching. Also, if you’re a guy that happens to be reading this and are skeptical of watching a shoujo/romance with a female main character, don’t be! I have known guys that were extremely entertained by this anime, and could also relate to the male characters. Just don’t turn away from it for those reasons alone.

Animation and music

All I can say is that they must have had a high budget, because they did not hold back on providing the highest quality animation and music. The characters and scenery are absolutely gorgeous and breathtaking. The music is catchy and enjoyable. I love the soundtracks so much, I listen to them regularly.

In closing

I hope that by reading this I have convinced you to at least give Fruits Basket a try. I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I and many many others have. There is a reason that this manga is one of the most popular shoujo of all time, as well as the 2019 anime being one of the most watched of the anime season every time a new season airs. The Internet Movie Database (IMDB) rating for it is also 8.5/10.

Thanks for reading!

🍙 Tohru’s twin (@lunastellanova)

Feel free to DM me or send an ask if you want to discuss!

🐱🐭 🍙 🐶🐍 🍙 🐮🐴 🍙 🐯🐏 🍙🐰🐗 🍙 🐉🐓 🍙 🐵

Tohru Honda's tumblr masterlist here

This blog contains Fruits Basket edits by myself (@lunastellanova), re-blogs of Fruits Basket information/art/fanfiction ect, and meta from the perspective of Tohru Honda.

[newhologram]

I know only a few of you are on IG so I wanted to give an update here on the past few days. I am doing this knowing the potential risk but I need to also record where I'm at right now in case anything weird happens.

My week has been like this so far. Sunday: Family Member 1 misplaced their Xbox controller. They kept asking me if I knew where it was, each time growing more and more aggressive. I don't have an Xbox, I reminded them. I have my own controller for my PC. But they kept knocking loudly on my door. They followed me outside where I was vaping and tried to accuse me of I don't even know what. Pawning off their controller? FM1 said, "Is there something going on that you're not telling me? SOMEONE'S messing with me!" Later that night they and their gf were making dinner. FM1 suddenly knocked harshly on my door and said aggressively, "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE OVEN MITTS" in an angry voice. I was already stressed from them harassing me earlier about the controller. I came out of my room, heart racing, and told them I had not used them that day. I helped find the mitts, which had fallen behind the trash can because the hanging hook had broken. I went to bed on edge, feeling unsafe and targeted, wondering why my family member was suddenly acting so paranoid and accusing me of misplacing their things... Something they actually have done to me my whole life, denying it until the moment my item is found, when they suddenly remember they did move it there (or accidentally throw it out/destroy it). The controller ended up being some random place in the living room. Monday: I went to leave for my acupuncture appointment. My booster seat/pillow thing was missing from my car. Not in the trunk or anything. I cannot drive without it. I'm too short to see over the steering wheel. I called FM1 and they have no idea where it could be, despite the fact that they drive my car every day. FM1's gf helped find it, in the garage. But I still had an epic fucking meltdown, sobbing the whole way to and from my appointment. I just cannot handle people moving my shit and disrupting my schedule like that. And it just hurt so much more knowing that FM1 was so awful to me the day before about their stuff being misplaced. I'm always having my personal belongings, my feelings, my personhood, disrespected. It hurts deeply. When I got home I stressed to them that this is my car, and my accommodation should not ever be removed from it under any circumstances. It was after this that I decided it was time to hold a family meeting. I called Family Member 2 and 3 over to the house. I read a long letter to them in which I told them about the talks I have had with my therapist, psychiatrist, and another psychologist. Even though I cannot be formally assessed and diagnosed at this time, I am being treated for autism. I detailed to my family my entire life of trauma that is traced back directly to my autistic traits, and my needs not only not being met, but being outright denied. I was denied empathy most of my life for my sensory issues, my pain, everything. A big part of this is gaslighting. Even if it's unintentional or not malicious, gaslighting is incredibly traumatic. Especially when it comes to my sensory issues. I have had even more problems with overstimulation the past year which means I can barely sleep, so my daily naps are even more important. I try to coordinate my naps when there is less activity in my house. But if I'm in a ton of pain and extra sensitive and ask for quiet, that's when I get in trouble and a fight happens. That's when FM1 tells me I "need to be realistic" and "can't expect the whole world to shut up for you"... when I'm literally saying "I have a migraine and need to rest, can you please not play loud music or slam cupboards in the kitchen for a few hours?"

I was emotionally neglected and abused by both parents. A lot of it is just the result of their own trauma that they have not dealt with... But I have also been physically threatened and assaulted by them at different times, though it only happened those specific times. (They won't ever admit to it though.) The emotional and mental abuse still goes on in my home. I am not allowed to have emotions. I have been told "STOP. WHY ARE YOU CRYING. LIFE'S NOT FAIR. WHEN YOU GET OUT IN THE REAL WORLD YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT" over and over--like... in response to me crying about my pet dying, or in response to me crying bc I'm in horrible pain from my chronic illnesses, or crying after my usual yearly ER visit. I am also not allowed to have boundaries. I have tried to communicate with FM1 that these things hurt me deeply. And their response is basically, "YOU'RE SO UNGRATEFUL. I PUT A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD!" and threats such as "BETWEEN TAKING CARE OF YOU AND GRANMDA, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING TO DRIVE OFF AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN!" or "I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU"-- y'know, in response to having a disabled child. Ouch. The message is clear: I am nothing but an inconvenience and a burden to my family. I still have nightmares about them abandoning me, or abusing me more. I think in their heads they think that they love me. But this isn't love. If I try to talk to them about how dangerous it is for them to say things like that to me, they say "I never said/did that." Which brings us back to the gaslighting: I said that every time they gaslight me and tell me that my emotions/thoughts/experiences aren't real, it triggers me so badly that I self-harm and become suicidal.

I was very clear with them: I said that I can no longer have that in my life because one day it will kill me. I don't wanna die that way. I want to live. I have very bad PTSD and it's something I have worked on for 8 years but it has been worse the past year with so many disruptions and FM1's worsening narcissistic traits. I gave the choice to them. I said if they gaslighted me again that they were making the decision to not be in my life. Because this is about preserving my life. I'm trying not to die here. I'm literally trying to save my own life, even if that means not having a relationship with my family. They accept that I am autistic... But they then took turns gaslighting me. When I pointed out, "that's gaslighting. that's exactly what I just said in my letter. What you're doing is gaslighting" they went even harder on it. They said my experience and my trauma is "not in line with reality". They also said I "need to be reasonable" with the boundary that I'm setting (meaning: they don't believe in boundaries at all). They tried to guilt trip me with, "you can't cut someone out of your life because what if they DIE and then you FEEL GUILTY??" (I mean, what if I killed myself because you keep hurting me? Wouldn't you feel guilty about that?) They also guilt tripped me with "well we TRY to invite you to family stuff, and we try to include you, but you never want to go..." um... I guess they forgot I am chronically ill? Sorry if I don't have the energy or pain tolerance to drive an hour each way to a loud family party after I've worked all week? I cried and cried, I said this is exactly what I told you that you do to me and how it endangers my life... and you're doing it... while telling me you don't do it to me... They were all weird and told me "we love you and would do anything for you!" except... I guess, not gaslight me constantly? Idk. I felt so trapped. I felt so hopeless. I was up all night crying. I wondered, "Why is the idea of me having distance from them somehow worse than me being dead? Why would they prefer that I die rather than set a boundary that will save me?" And then I remembered: I had set the terms. They broke them. You do this, you're out of my life, because me being alive is more important than us having a relationship which will eventually kill me. I'm not trapped. It doesn't matter if they think they can prevent me from setting this boundary because they can't. I'm in charge of my boundary. So I blocked them on social media, as well as their phones. I have to unfortunately keep FM1 unblocked bc I live with them, they drive my car, and they look after my cats while I am at work. If I didn't have so many great things happening behind the scenes, if I didn't have my cats, if I didn't have amazing friends and followers who are supportive and kind... I can definitely see that I would have ended my life that night in some alternate timeline. That is how much pain I was in from them doing that to me. Them literally trying to gaslight me into not setting a boundary. I mean it would've been so ridiculous on their part, can you imagine? Me: Hey family, when you gaslight me, it makes me suicidal. I don't want to die, so either you stop doing that, or we can't have a relationship. Family: UHH NO *gaslights me anyway* Me: ok *kills self* Family: *surprised Pikachu face* Like???? Would they really have been shocked because it seems like they should have known since I told them directly? And that just shows that they really don't take my pain seriously at all. They think I'm overly sensitive and that my trauma is not real. That would have been a painful wake up call for them. I told my therapist all of this. And she agrees that this is good, this is going to not only ween them off of me but also allow me to focus on all the good stuff I have going on. I have to get moving. So much stuff has been lagging because I'm constantly recovering from them triggering me. I'm going to focus, and heal, and gtfo of here. Thank you for your support and for never invalidating my pain.