#every day like “these are my tasks!”
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I love having a friend to text back and forth "I have a chore to do!" and "I did a chore!"
#very helpful#every day like “these are my tasks!”#and congratulating each other for small amounts of progress
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i miss when i used to write like mad and read poetry and try painting and singing and explore the random things of the world and then i remember i still can ! attention span and doomscrolling is not the forever, u can regain that time for your brain, you can learn to do it all again, all it takes is trying bit by bit
#for me it’s trying to put my phone down to do an actual task every day like cooking or playing guitar etc#to go outside & feel !!#k
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happy pride month guys
#epic throwback to my first post🔥#ok fine i admit it i fw doubleeye.... a lot...#my other punchline for this was peepers going “captain tim kill him” like the task manager kill him img#but this one fit the occasion better#i have a hc that they ask him “yk what that means” literally every slightly important day#its national enchiladas day peepers yk what that means 😈#thats why hes so done#woy#wander over yonder#save woy#pride month#art tag#meme tag
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the executive dysfunction is not going to win today. i am winning. pay no heed to the fact that i am on tumblr writing this post instead of doing a task. i am winning. i am winning. i am winning.
#the good thing about having a large volume of individual tasks is that there are going to be several that are not as hard as the hard ones#so i can procrastinate the hard ones by doing the easy ones and still feel like i'm being productive#i've actually been very productive this week it's just that most of that time was spent on something VERY low priority#like no one asked me to do it and it wasn't urgent. and it took several days. but it was easy#one of the things i have to do today is schedule sales demos with 14 different vendors 😩😩😩💀🔪explosion explosion explosion#the only thing worse than attending sales demos is giving sales demos. at least i don't have to give them. could be worse#ugh but you know the thing where after a sales demo the person you talked to sends you emails every week asking if you will#pwetty please buy their product. i'm going to have that for 14 vendors. and only one of them will win#battle royale in my inbox#executive dysfunction#my posts#f
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im so emotionally attached to jason grace it's not even funny atp. i literally think about him all day, I'm not exaggerating pls someone tell me they feel this way too ����💨
#i actually might need to stop posting jason grace content for a while bc it's getting overwhelming lmao. the hyperfixation is REAL#I have so many ideas about him to post that i had to write it down on my notes app 😭#it's gotten so bad that I have attention span issues to do real life tasks bc I just wanna keep talking abt jason's character all day-#i actually went like 1/2 months without a jason grace hyper fixation. that's around the time I was inactive on tumblr#but these past few weeks the hyper fixation is hitting me harder. I'm pretty sure you can tell by how many posts i spammed this week#the fact that the jason grace x reader community isn't as active as it was back then is also not helping my hyperfixation at all#there used to be HEAPS of them every day that I looked forward to reading them every morning now I can't even see 2 in a week#i used these fics as an 'aid' for my attachment and still kinda do#also don't even get me started on how his death devastates me every single day omg like I feel genuine RAGE#pjo fanfic#pjo#pjo hoo toa#pjo series#percy jackson#percy jackson fandom#jason grace#pjo hoo#pjo fandom
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WHY AM I ALWAYS WAITING FOR SOMETHING. I COULD BE ON MY DEATHBED STILL YEARNING FOR MORE
#what the HELL IS MY PROBLEM WHAT DO I WANT. STOP WAITING I WAIT FOR EVERY DAY AND TASK TO END LIKE#theres SOME SORT OF REWARD OR GOODNESS AFTERWARDS. THERES NOT THIS IS IT!!
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genuinely am not sure how I'm expected to get enough sleep, go to school, do all my assignments, study, exercise, keep up with dishes and laundry, keep my house clean, shower everyday, buy groceries, prepare 3 (healthy) meals a day and eat them, and not explode in the process???
#I am in school 50+ hours a week#it takes me 35 minutes to walk to school every day#i have sleep apnea and losing any amount of sleep catches up with me insanely quickly#like?! what?#this is not even including 'accessory' tasks like taking care of my cats and like. spending any amount of time at all with my partner?#days need to be longer or expectations of me need to be less!!!#oh also. find any time to go to the doctor if i need lol#inescapable hell#not even including hobbies! or getting therapy! or anything to keep my mental health in check!
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i was somehow born to the two most freakishly self-disciplined people on this planet earth who seem to have no clue that they are the outliers. unfortunately what this means for me is that whenever i am not freakishly self-disciplined they act as if i have failed spectacularly instead of behaving like a normal human being
#boycritter et al#they both get up at 4:30 am everyday and then work out everyday and then run their business#for which they are the sole two workers and completely set their own hours and dictate their own responsibilities#and stay completely organized and clean and eat healthy and perform every hygiene task they need to do every single day#LIKE IM NOT JOKING. EVERY SINGLE DAY.#my dads daily schedule is like. 4-530 am work out. 6-9am work. 9 am make breakfast then work until noon while eating#actually no he walks the dogs at 11#lunch break from 1230 - 1 pm. (has a salad) then back to work. make protein smoothie w rice cakes (in the smoothie) at 430 pm.#(have smoothie while working)#work until 6pm then start making dinner. 630-7 dinner.#7-8 back to work. 8-9 tv. 9-10pm back to work usually or sometimes watch tv#10 pm he goes to sleep#oh also he has a standing desk he doesnt sit down while he works.#my mom ate NOTHING but boiled vegetables for 3 months to 'heal her gut microbiome'#like im not exaggerating they are INTENSE
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How Hermes talks about Luke to others: (the most adoring, protective, forgiving father you've ever met, full of praise and admiration, refuses to give up on him no matter what crimes he commits, defends him to the heroes and begs them to show him mercy, utterly crushed by regret for his own failures)
How Hermes talks to Luke:
#it's so funny (and sad. but let's use the funny lens this time)#he gets angry with annabeth - an incredibly traumatized child - for not running away with luke to help him escape kronos#after luke had kidnapped and tortured her for days and tried to kill her best friends multiple times#meanwhile at NO point does he ever visit luke himself to try to get him out of the cult#his continuous neglect throughout luke's life was a primary reason he could be pulled into the cult in the first place#the only time they spoke luke said 'please do one simple task if you love me at all' and hermes DIDN'T DO IT#and then the moment luke left he was like 'oh my poor son. i love him so much. i wish i could stop him going down a terrible path'#the thing luke asked him to do was tell him about his future in order to avoid the terrible path!#like hermes. come on.#what are you doing?#how do you have all the good dad traits internally and then spectacularly fail at the actions every time?#luke castellan#hermes pjo#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians
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#he just said “you know- i dont really care that youre neurodivergent! it doesn't really affect me!”#and he means it as a positive but like. are you fucking kidding me#i struggle every single day because of how my neurodivergence affects my life#i have no close friends in real life because my autism makes me noticibly “off” when people get to know me#everyone holds me at arms length. friendly- but they never want to hang out#my anxiety makes me incapable of doing tasks like “asking a question at the grocery store” and “calling my own job where i know everybody”#but dont worry. it doesnt affect him so its fine#im. god.
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there is something very sad about Peg just wanting to tell BJ about her day to day life, the mundane things in the house that need to be fixed and the funny things that happen to her, all things he would've enjoyed hearing about or would've handled with her if he'd been there, and having absolutely no idea what effect these letters actually have on him
#mash#peg hunnicutt#bj hunnicutt#hi I need to be in my feelings about the Hunnicutts#because I keep seeing posts about Peg's letters acting like she's deliberately setting him off somehow and they annoy me#she is literally just describing her day to day life she is filling pages with mundane chores and tasks and encounters#telling him every little thing that happens that made her laugh#because she loves him and misses him#and she wants him to know everything that's happening while he's away#she has absolutely no idea that BJ loses his goddamn mind over some of these#how would she know how he gets over the gutters? the kitchen flooding?#those are day to day things that just happen#all she's doing is rambling on in letters because she has to tell him every little thing every day because she loves him#she's writing these things thinking he'll just smile maybe have a laugh#because thats what he would've done when he was home with her#and thats why its so sad#she doesn't know these things dont make him smile#she doesnt know how much he's changing#she doesnt know how much he's already changed
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Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?
#It’s got to be the schedule keeping me on task at work#I love microdosing strict routines (not having an actual routine for the day; but having routines for small tasks#which piss me off if I can’t carry them out precisely the way I planned)#For instance: If I’m asked to paperclip a bunch of stuff together with multicolored paperclips of various sizes#I cannot just indiscriminately pick paperclips from the container because that is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The colors must fit the theme of the assignments; and the colors must alternate in a specific order#and the paperclips must all be the same size#If I’m asked to dump out and clean containers of writing utensils I am going to sort them by type and color#whether you like it or not#Black permanent markers have their own container in a different section from the blue permanent markers#Dry-erase markers are not to be mixed with permanent markers because they are easily confused and it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#Do not fuck with the system. It’s the only organizational skill I have and by fucking GOD I’m going to use it in EXCESS#I stuff and fill out envelopes the exact same way every time because if I do it any other way it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The stamp always goes on last to minimize monetary waste if there is a mistake#Now you’d think my room is squeaky clean and organized because of how particular I am about these small tasks#Right? Right?#NO IT IS NOT. It looks like a bomb went off. Cleaning the room is a big task which cannot be accomplished within two hours#therefore I have discarded it as anything I need a routine for because it would take too long to come up with#and it is very hard for me to do things like that without instructions or a sense of consistency#So I simply don’t#“After five years the dust doesn’t get any worse” correct; but the mold certainly does#I am convinced half my problems with organization as a kid would have been solved if I just had a hamper#“We have a clothes chute; you don’t need a hamper” Maybe you don’t but I DO#I want one now; but I’m going to use it as incentive to get an apartment#because that’s another thing I need to smuggle and I have too much already
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having another one of my job-related crises
#where are the jobs for blokes that do fuck all. where are they!!!!!!!#i am quite literally looking for jobs where you do nothing. you do not understand how much i dont want to do anything#granted my current job has a certain amount of doing nothing in that i have the time to look for jobs where i do nothing#but i want to do even more nothing. do you understand#if i lived on my own i probably would consider some weird night shift job#but its probably better i have the routine i have living during the day like a normal person#despite the drawbacks of my cursed routine#where are those jobs i see people making tiktoks about where you do fuck all in the office and send like one email a day. id kill for that#my dream is to be paid for like. mostly sitting somewhere where i can work on my needlepoint#id even do mindless data entry. PLEASE pay me for mindless data entry i love repetitive tasks. if you let me listen to music im unstoppable#ive come across a couple data entry jobs but i think they always require a college degree#and its like oops sorry i never had the time or money for that! still dont! however i can promise you my autism is qualification enough#my dad talks about the market research jobs he used to have and how for like the entry level jobs there#there was clearly so much goof off time they were playing early computer games and shit#but there were like so much more data entry jobs that i guess are obsolete now bc of technology#and its like yes technology good but theyve destroyed an important job category: jobs where you do fuck all#whenever i have one of these crises i also check out gigs n jobs on craigslist and unfortunately everything there seems so sketchy#like every 'personal assistant' job sounds either super pervy or like im going to get serial killed#i should get paid a million dollars a year for doing nothing at all i think#anyway once again my only option is my successful director dreams. would be great if theyd actually happen#<- guy that doesnt spend enough time actually working on creative works in progress#well anyway. such is my mental state today thank you for your time
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I'm YOUR idiot.
#and he'll stay his idiot#“you knew what you were getting into when you said yes. this is on you now.”#he's married to him and makes it his problem lol#i like to think mandark loves to show off he's married. especially to dexter.#gets sad and pathetic when drunk when he sees dex have a ring and forgot they're married. now he's sobbing his rival is taken by “another”#married dexdark is just lovely to me.#mandark doing any and every task with having the need to flaunt his ring#being engaged to him is insufferable i imagine.#also drew that hand wrong and exploding myself now#was supposed to finish this on valentines day but got lazy. i had too much stuff that day anyway#i want to do comics again but my hands and arms are fucked. i lost feeling in them off and on the these days without doing much lol#your also looks weird like it's misspelled but it's not??#dexter's laboratory#dexter's lab#dexdark#mandark#dexter#flame draws
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Momoe can (:
#she’s the tragic backstory upstart genius just hanging around in the background like a ticking time bomb (:#when will we ever find out more about her!#to have been there the day of the dad reveal…#maria momoe#momoe maria#oofuri#ookiku furikabutte#big windup#jesus every time I try colouring it’s a sisyphean task and then I give up. not helped by my current computer monitor being bad#AH. WAIT A SECOND. DID I DRAW HER AS A LEFTY. WELL. we’re turning this drawing around and going straight home
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yesterday my doctor was like "there are service dogs for eds and pots that might help!" and that's great and everything i'm sure they're very helpful and wonderful but frankly after seeing the kind of vet bills dogs rack up i think i will be sticking with my largely useless but cheaper (thus far) cat. also dog licky noises make me want to rip my ears off.
#not to mention the initial many thousands of dollars for a service dog#i haven't even passed out in a while it's not like i'm at huge risk of whacking my head on concrete all the time#even cat grooming noises make me lose it i have to turn the fan on every time its the worst#reese is not completely useless of course he does perform emotional service tasks and sometimes he eats flies. it counts#i will say there was a very tiny and adorable dachshund puppy in the other day and i was like ok i could be convinced to have one of those#his parents were lesbians too which was enriching for me personally#me
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