#every dance team should put as much effort into their exs as these two do

[findthatsynchronicity]

Anna Cappellini/Luca Lanotte

Clair de Lune

[let-them-read-fics]

Yours Truly (Pt. 2)

Requested By: Some of you!

Pairing: Jisoo x Fem!Reader

AU: College

Word Count: Part 1 -> 9,786 // Part 2 -> 7,433

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Pining, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Here's the second and final part of the imagine, gang. I hope you enjoy the adventures I wrote for you! Let me know about your fav part(s)!

♡ Happy Reading ♡

Part 1 -- Click Here

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

5.) Epiphanies

A Week Later

"Yuqi, why the hell did you drag me here? I'd so much rather be writing…" you shove your hands further into the pockets of your hoodie and look at her with a scowl. Rows of people fill the bleachers around you, everyone excited for the football game that's scheduled to start soon. Happy couples sit together all around the stadium, and the sight only works to remind you of how weird things are with Jisoo right now.

"One: it's a Friday night and you need to let loose, and two: I wanted to come, so you have to tag along by default. The rules of friendship are very simple, Y/N," she trails off, tilting her head at you with a smile. 

"Well I am gonna go get some food," you imitate her, "Do you want anything?" You stand from the bench and look down at her, noticing how her permed hair sticks up in a few different places. You smooth it out for her as she answers, "Nachos, please." 

"Alright, dork. I'm sure the line's kinda long, but come look for me if I'm not back in 20." She pats your butt as you leave, and you just shake your head with a smile. 

"--I know! Did you hear about Lee's new girlfriend? I heard she got in a fight with his ex last ni--"

"I'm fucking starving bro."

"Yeah, they totally hooked up at Jackson's party!"

Various conversations work their way to your ears as you walk towards the back of the line, but you attempt to not get too invested in the gossip. As welcoming as your school tends to be, even it has its fair share of scandals and drama. You've never been one to care about rumors though, and you don't plan to start now.

"I heard that Jisoo likes someone." 

Funny how plans can change in an instant, don't you think? 

You can't find it in yourself to ignore the childish desire to eavesdrop, so you listen in as the line slowly shifts forward with each new customer served, doing your best to be inconspicuous. 

"Supposedly she's been into them for a while but they don't know about it. I guess Lisa is planning to get them together tonight or something, I don't know." You recognize the brunette speaking as Seulgi, a dance major that you share a couple classes with. She's talking to Yeri, whom you've seen a few times in passing. 

That must be why she was defensive about the kiss; she has feelings for someone else. 

"Ooh, that'll be interesting. I can't say that I'm not disappointed, though; now Jisoo's gonna be off the market." The shorter girl frowns, basically reading your mind with her statement. You've never fooled yourself into believing you have a chance with Jisoo, but knowing that she'll be whisked away by some lucky classmate of yours definitely isn't an easy pill to swallow. 

You pass the remaining wait time by imagining who that person may be. Jisoo has a lot of friends, but you've never seen her around campus with any particular love interest; she always puts her studies first, deciding that her education is far more important than any potential relationship.

You remain lost in your thoughts until it's your turn to order.

"Hey Y/N, what can I get for you?" The cashier greets, resetting the register as she grins at you. 

"Hi Yeji," you smile back, happy to see your old friend again after what feels like forever. Your busy schedules have kept you from hanging out much lately, but seeing her now is something you're grateful for. "I'll take two waters, a medium nacho, and 1 hot dog, please." 

"You want everything on it?" She asks in reference to your last request, assuming you still stick with the order you used to go with in your childhood. 

"You know it. And make sure to--"

"--spread the toppings out well. I remember, girl." She says with a wink, turning around to get started on your order. The familiar interaction warms your heart, aided by the idea that some things never change. After she packages your things up in a convenient little container, you thank her and pay, walking away with a promise to meet up at the school's café next week.

About halfway back to your seat, something unexpected happens.

"Rosie, we can't buy out the whole place. This is the 4th trip we've taken back here and the game hasn't even started yet!" You freeze as you round the corner, almost dropping your food as Jisoo's low voice sounds off nearby. 

"Unnie, I didn't even get to eat much of the other stuff at all! Lisa and Jennie stole it and shared it with everyone else," the artist pouts, rolling her hands into fists at her sides like a toddler. 

"Fine. But this is the last trip I'm taking." She warns, rolling her eyes when the Australian attacks her with a flurry of kisses. "Yah! Let's go before we miss something." She says, pushing her off of her with a smile on her face. 

Even her voice makes your heart ache, and it reminds you of what her kiss felt like against your lips. It was short, no doubt, and barely there; but the sparks remain, waiting to be reignited anytime she's around. Maybe you're just destined to pine.

----

"There you are! I was literally about to go steal some food from Shuhua because you were taking so long." 

"Yeah, yeah," you say, sitting down beside Yuqi with the cardboard box in your hands. "You're lucky I love you enough to pay for this. Now I'll have to survive on 3 grains of rice and ramen for the next few weeks." 

"Oh, the struggles of being a broke college student." She says woefully, clutching her hands together in front of her chest to add to the effect. 

"Precisely," you agree, scooting closer to offer her some nachos. When she tries to greedily take the whole tray of them, you're quick to stop her. 

"Ah, ah, ah," you warn, pulling her wrist back down. "We're sharing, chica." She huffs, but eventually settles down and decides to shove her face full instead of protesting anymore. 

Now, with your best friend happily eating, you relax and begin to prepare yourself for the match. 

--

"LET'S GO!" You shout with Yuqi, chanting together as your school's anthem echoes throughout the stadium. The rival team has been behind the entire game, but they closed the gap in the last few minutes and now it's neck and neck. Your band plays loudly to encourage your team, and it seems to be working; they manage to repeatedly hold the others off and keep them from scoring. 

It's the start of the fourth quarter now -- the home stretch. With their spirits still high, your team continues to keep victory out of their opponents hands. The black paint underneath their eyes is really streaked now, showing all the effort and sweat that they've put into the game so far. A beautiful sunset just previously gave way to a rapidly darkening evening sky, allowing some stars to peek out now.

"My high school team sucked; this is epic!" Yuqi says, making you laugh. You tear your eyes away from the heated game to say something to her, but all thoughts soon disappear from your mind and you stop mid-sentence. 

She notices your sudden silence and looks at you, only realizing what's happening once she follows your line of sight. Jeong is standing against the metal fence that borders the track, mingling with everyone at the bottom of the bleachers. That doesn't bother you, but what you see next certainly does; you spot Jisoo beside him, giggling at something he said as he tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. 

"Oh shit," Yuqi breathes out, fully grasping the weight of the situation now. She doesn't even attempt to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he knows how in love you are with Jisoo and yet there he is, flirting away. He's the only other person besides Yuqi who knows of your feelings for the brunette, and you really trusted him with it. Clearly that was a mistake. You blink a few times and set your jaw, quickly looking away as he moves closer to whisper something in her ear over the noise of the crowd. 

"I'm gonna head out to the car. Just let me know who wins," you mumble, brushing past her on your way toward the exit. You know there's no way you'd be able to focus on the game anymore after seeing that, so going is your best option. She catches your arm before you can slip away, and says, "Wait, I'm coming with you. And don't even try to tell me no; I can always watch highlights later. I'm not gonna let you be alone right now." 

Knowing it's pointless to argue anymore, you nod once and wait for her to gather up her trash and coat. "Let's go," she says, taking your hand after tossing her garbage in the can conveniently placed at the end of your row. She squeezes it a few times for reassurance, and a bittersweet smile works onto your lips at the gesture. 

You don't notice how Jisoo's eyes follow you, every fiber of her being yelling at her to go after you. She hates seeing you sad, and although she isn't 100% sure of the reason for it now, all she wants is to cheer you up. 

"So, Jisoo. Do you have any plans after the game?" Jeong smirks, quirking a brow suggestively at his own question. Jisoo grimaces, saying, "Yeah, I do. I have to study." She tries to find you in the crowd again, but it seems that you've already slipped away. 

"We're throwing a party tonight, you should come." He leans a little closer to her, but she takes a step back. The only reason she's even talking to him right now is because Lisa introduced them, and it would be impolite not to. She turns him down, yet again sneaking a glance around the stadium. 

"No wonder Y/N's too chicken to ask you out; you're hard to get, but I don't mind a challenge." Her head whips around at his statement, heart regaining that familiar uptick at the mention of you. "What?" She blinks, not believing her ears. Surely she was just hearing things. 

"I said I don't mind a challenge," his words come out slightly slurred, and the effects of the alcohol he's been drinking are beginning to show themselves in all the wrong ways. The more he talks, the less Jisoo can stand him. "Look, Jeong -- I'm not interested. I'm sure there are other girls here that would love to get to know you, but I'm not one of them. Now, if you'll excuse me," she says, turning her body to the side to maneuver around him and get to the stairs. He lets her go without another word, his pride too bruised to come up with a more fitting response than a muttered insult. 

She makes quick work of getting to the parking lot, where she spots you approaching Yuqi's car, head hanging a bit. Seeing you upset saddens her, and she's determined to find out what's wrong. 

"Y/N! Wait up!" The shout catches your attention, and you slowly spin around. Jisoo begins to jog out to you, and a scoff slips past your lips (though you don't put much effort into stopping it). You're hurt, and half of the reason for your pain is staring right back at you like nothing happened. 

"What do you want, Jisoo?" You sigh, not looking forward to where this conversation will most certainly go.

"I want to talk, Y/N." She's in front of you now, scanning her eyes between yours to gauge your reaction. 

"What is there to say? Just go back to talking to Jeong; you looked like you were enjoying yourself." She can hear the jealousy laced in your tone, and things finally -- finally -- begin to click for her. 

"Is that what this is about?" She asks in reference to your sadness. The question isn't accusatory at all; she's genuinely trying to piece things together. 

A disbelieving laugh leaves you at that. How is she still so oblivious? "Yes, Jisoo, it is. I just had to witness someone who I thought was my friend flirt with my crush. So yeah, that's what this is about." Sensing that she doesn't know what to say, you decide to conclude things for her. This is already pitiful enough, and you'd rather spare the both of you from having the "it's not you, it's me" talk. 

"Look, I get it. You don't like me back, and you were only trying to be friendly by inviting me to the rehearsal that night. Just please, for the both of us, forget it even happened. Forget all of this. It was a mistake, and I won't do it again."

Jisoo hates that you're jumping to conclusions without even knowing her true feelings; you automatically think that she couldn't possibly feel the same, and you use her moment of silence as a form of evidence to prove that. The complete opposite is true, though you'd never give her enough time to straighten out her jumbled thoughts and tell you that. 

She finds her voice when you turn away, and she reaches out to touch your hand. "Stop, you've got it all wrong." Your eyes glance down to your intertwined hands, but you wiggle out of her grip with a heavy sigh. Over your shoulder, you shakily say, "You don't have to pretend for me, Jisoo. I'll be alright. If he makes you happy, then so be it." 

With that, you get in Yuqi's car and tell her to drive away, leaving Jisoo to deal with the sinking feeling in her chest that worsens as the car's tail lights grow dimmer and dimmer in the distance. You're gone, and she really has no idea how to come back from this. 

6.) Broken Hearted

The next few weeks were hell. You avoided Jisoo as much as possible, too embarrassed to face her after what happened and too weak to be close to her again. You'd surely fall even harder if you allowed yourself to grow any closer, so you didn't take the risk. How could you? Falling alone isn't an enjoyable experience, and you've been teetering on the edge of no return ever since that afternoon at the daycare. 

It was hard enough to escape her hold -- her face was everywhere, plastered on ads and bulletin boards all throughout campus, on reminders and sign ups for student council. You used your sick days in order to hide away in your dorm and block out the world, only being comforted by Ryujin when she wasn't busy with her own life or Yuqi when she could spare a few hours. They always made sure to care for you as much as they could, knowing first hand how tough heartbreak can be -- especially with the added stress of schoolwork. 

One person you thought about often was Jeong. Every time he'd cross your mind, dirtying up your brainwaves with the mere notion of himself, you'd grimace. He didn't deserve the attention, and yet you couldn't help but question why he did that to you. He hadn't reached out since that night, likely due to Yuqi giving him a piece of her mind after the game. He made it clear that he wasn't sorry, and that if given the chance, he'd play his cards even better and hopefully score a date with Jisoo. 

Maybe that was the worst part of it all. Hearing that it hadn't just been a stupid thing he did because he was drunk; he realized the weight of his actions, and he'd do it again, over and over, without caring about how you fit into the equation. That football game was simply a turning point, hidden in plain sight as an unassuming night for you to hang out with Yuqi. But you learned more then than you had ever intended to; Jeong's selfish, and he probably never even cared for you in the first place. The idea of that makes you feel dirty -- like you wasted so much of your time with such a horrible person, sticking up for him and defending his name when he wasn't around when he never even deserved that in the first place. You wish you would've known who he really was back then; you would've stayed away. 

Unbeknownst to you, Jisoo was struggling much like you -- minus the whole "betrayed by a best friend" situation. Every time that she showed up in class, she hoped with every piece of herself that you'd walk through the door and grace the room with your presence. You seldom ever did, though -- but when you ran out of free days of absence and were forced to attend class in order to keep your grades up, you never even uttered a word to her. She'd make it a point to ask questions in class, hoping that hearing her voice would bring something out of you, as yours did to her. She longed to talk to you again, if only for a minute; but your resolve remained strong, and her determination grew weaker as the days went by. 

Being the person she is, though, she knew giving up wasn't an option. After a few weeks of that cycle, greeting stands were placed at the front doors of each complex on campus, manned by different members of the council. She came up with a story for the administration on the fly, using her people skills to convince them that it would be good for student morale and getting more people to join clubs. It was a great effort, but she underestimated your avoidance skills; you thwarted her plans again, slipping right through her strategically linked fingers. 

Eventually, she lost hope. She exhausted every option she knew to try, and the girls ran out of new ones as well. Seeing their unnie so upset saddened them, and they did all they could to cheer her up in any and every way they knew how. 

7.) Premiere Night

"Y/N, get up. You're gonna shower and get dressed if I have to force you to do it myself." Yuqi commands, blasting into your room and flipping on the overhead light that shines far too bright for your liking. 

"Mmm," you groan in protest, not even bothering to roll over. 

"I mean it; don't test me, you know I'm true to my word."

"Why, Yuqi?"

"Because we're going to the performance tonight. The big show that everyone has been going on about is premiering, and you're coming with me to see it."

"I can't do that." You say, her words sobering you up from your sleepy stupor.

"I know who the lead is," she informs, already knowing about your reasons for being hesitant, "and that's precisely why we're going. You can't keep living like this, so either go get your girl, or agree to be friends with her and work past what you're dealing with." 

"You sound like a mom at the end of an 80s movie."

"80s movie moms are valid, so I'll take that as a compliment. Now go!" She shouts, shoving you off the bed. You tumble to the floor in a heap of blankets and pillows, still managing to hit your funny bone as you let out a pained groan. 

"Remind me to slap her later, Ryujin." 

"Will do." She salutes, reaching a hand down to help you up. With one last glare at an annoyingly bubbly Yuqi, you head to the bathroom to shower. 

----

"How do I look?" You ask, looking yourself up and down in the skinny mirror attached to the wall. 

"Is it gay if I say I'd ask you out?" Yuqi asks with a smile, fanning herself animatedly when you strike a pose. 

"Very much so, yes." 

"Well, hand me the rainbow suspenders, then." 

You push her over with a laugh -- the first real one you've shared in a while -- and wrap her in a hug. 

"Thank you, for real. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you." You say against her shoulder, pulling back to look at your roommate and add, "Either of you." The three of you settle in for a group hug and tell a few more jokes before Yuqi finally drags you out of the dorm. 

----

"How does it feel to be back in society?" Yuqi whispers, leaning in close to you to read the seat numbers printed on your tickets. 

"As lame as ever." You add, amusingly unenthused. 

"You're never gonna convince Jisoo to date your dumbass with that attitude." She retorts, feeling a little guilty when she sees your expression change upon hearing her name. You're afraid to see where the two of you will stand at the end of the night, so saying it's still a sore subject is the understatement of the year. 

"I'm messing with you, dude. If she doesn't want to be with you, then it's her loss; but I highly doubt that's the case. I've heard she misses you a lot." For once, Yuqi's words are halfway encouraging to hear, and you let out a light smile. 

"Well I'm prepared to worry about that whole situation later. For now, let's find our seats and enjoy the show." Your best friend quickly agrees, and the two of you squeeze through the crowds in the aisles to get to your row. 

----

"Jisoo, I promise you'll do well. You've been practicing for months; you've got this," Soo-hyun says, rubbing his co-lead's back in reassuring circles. The certainty in his deep voice gives Jisoo some semblance of security, and she stands to look at him with one final, nervous sigh. Stage fright has never been this big of an issue for her, but the size of the crowd and the idea that you might be out there scare the hell out of her. She wants you to be there with all of her heart, but she doesn't know if she'll be able to handle watching you walk away again. The past few weeks have been torture, and she misses your presence and witty remarks more than she ever thought possible. 

"Thank you, Soo-hyun. I'll meet you out there in a couple minutes, just let me collect myself."

He nods and says, "Take your time. I'll let Mrs. Choi know," before leaving and shutting the door behind himself. Now alone again, Jisoo digs through her personal bag that lays neatly on the small futon of the dressing room. When her fingers come in contact with that familiar material she's spent hours staring at, she bites the inside of her cheek and unfolds it for the millionth time. Multiple poems and blurbs litter the page, accompanied by cute doodles and cartoons here and there that give it a personal feel. She's spent the time away from you methodically working through the different writings, restraining herself from reading all of them in one setting so that she can have new content from time to time. 

She's down to the last one, now, and a surprising sort of realization hits her when she reads it. It instills within her a sense of determination -- determination to get you back and set things right, one way or another. She makes a plan to find you after the performance.

-- After The Performance -- 

It was even more spectacular than you ever imagined it could be. The school spared no expense in getting the best props, employing the most skilled technicians on hand, and recruiting the best artists that the school had to paint the backdrops. Everyone behind the scenes worked tirelessly to produce the best show possible, and their efforts really paid off. 

And, of course, you can't forget the actors. 

The entire cast was incredible, their talent matching some of the world's most sought-after stars. Every part was played to perfection; even the smaller, supporting roles were acted with passion, really bringing the piece together as a whole. The production left you wanting more, too inspired and awestruck by the amazing performances to be content with just seeing it once. So, after numerous calls for an encore, the cast returned to run through a few of their key scenes. 

---

As the cast takes their final bow, large cannons placed on either side of the stage shoot out bursts of colorful confetti, and you watch it flutter down around them. Some try to catch a piece or two to add to their scrapbooks, wanting to have a trinket from their college years, while others just hug each other and twirl around with content smiles on their faces. The crowd continues its loud cheering, and eventually you find the courage to sneak a glance at Jisoo.

To your surprise, she's looking right back. 

Her eyes hold a mixed softness; she's proud of herself and glad that you came to support her on such a big night, but part of her wants to escape the busyness of it all and tell you everything she's been feeling. She'd be content with looking at you forever, she realizes, as she studies you. You're the true star in her eyes, always shining so bright and making everyone feel at home whenever they're around you. She hopes you know how special you are. 

Mrs. Choi approaches the cast from stage right, gathering their attention to congratulate them and commend them for their performances. Jisoo reluctantly looks away from you, unsure if it's the last time she'll be seeing you tonight. The thought upsets her, but there isn't much she can do about it right now; so, she gives her attention to her professor and flashes that smile that makes everyone weak in the knees. 

You knew it was just a matter of time before she'd be pulled away and immersed in some conversation about the show, but the selfish side of you never wanted her to look away. No matter how confusing things may be because of all of your unresolved issues, she still looks at you like she always had before -- her gaze is kind, albeit bittersweet, but it's full of care. Seeing her like that makes you feel like even more of an asshole than you already do -- maybe you should have just listened to her at the game. Running away was an immature choice, rooted entirely in your own sadness in that moment as you deprived yourself of any explanation she could've offered, though you can't judge yourself too harshly. The situation is complicated, and you still don't know whether to hate yourself for running or go easy on yourself in light of what happened. 

When Yuqi sees you stand up and shuffle towards the end of your row, she sends you a warning look. 

"Dude, I'm not gonna run away. I'm literally just gonna step outside for some fresh air, I promise." She visibly relaxes, no longer having to prepare herself to wrangle you back into the seat. 

"Fine. But if you aren't back in 15 minutes I'm coming to track you down. You really need to talk to her." 

You sigh, nodding in agreement. "I know, trust me. Just let me get my thoughts together first." She sends you off to do just that, but not until the two of you complete the special handshake you made up all those months ago. 

---

Brisk air rushes over your skin in waves the moment you exit the side door of the building, automatically sending goosebumps to raise in its wake. It feels nice, though; it grounds you, and works to cool off your heated skin. The atmosphere inside was thick with the tension you've been feeling ever since what happened that night at the game, and its effects were only heightened by the raw performances of the evening. Passion and longing were the driving factors of the play, ironically, and many of the scenes drew eerie parallels to your current situation. So, it's no wonder that you're thankful to step away from it all for a bit.

You greet a few stray audience members that're puttering around outside as well, opting to walk down a little further away from them and lean against the building. The wall's brick material feels rough against your back, lightly scratching it whenever you shift your weight from one foot to the other. You don't mind it, though; it's oddly nostalgic, somehow. 

When you hear the door open again, you think nothing of it. The metal hinges latch just the same as they had for you, so there's really no reason for you to even look up. However, that all changes when you feel someone's eyes on you.

Unprepared is leaps and bounds away from being a fitting statement to describe how you feel in that moment; Jisoo stands merely 10 feet away from you at most, right next to the stage door that she just came out of. Her hands fiddle with the drawstrings of her costume, seemingly always needing to be occupied when she's nervous or unsure of herself; it's a habit you've picked up on after seeing it so many times. 

The longer you look at her, the more you want to look away; she's so beautiful it hurts, and the silence is eating away at you. You can't blame her, though; neither of you know what to say or do, and the only thing you seem capable of is staring at each other. When you break the intense eye contact you were sharing to turn away, only intending to take a minute to collect yourself, Jisoo is suddenly set in motion. 

She's afraid you'll leave again, and she's prepared to fight even harder for you this time.

I love you as the stars love the night sky

A fateful, cyclic romance

A game of eager greetings and reluctant goodbyes

Those words -- ones that you remember penning one day in class while completely entranced by Jisoo -- roll from her lips effortlessly, as if she had spent time committing them to memory. She had, in fact; whenever days passed without her even catching a glimpse of you, she always found herself unfolding that note again, tracing a finger over the curve of your unique letters as she reread the poem. It always brought her comfort to think that you were in just as deep as her, and a similar sense of hope blossoms in her chest now when she spots an unbelieving smile tug at the corner of your lips as you slowly turn to face her again. 

You're still into her, and she's falling even deeper at the realization. Maybe she didn't lose you after all. 

She takes calculated steps towards you and breathes a sigh of relief when you stay put, not showing any signs of running. The wheels in your head are going into overdrive now, turning and churning as you process her little recital, and she prays with all of her heart that you won't be upset once you put two and two together. 

"How did you…"

"You dropped it one day, and I picked it up. I meant to give it back to you, but I guess I just never got around to it." She feels a little guilty for keeping it as long as she has, but it's served as a way of keeping you close during your time apart. Those bits and pieces of you, scattered around on that page, encapsulated by the annotations and doodles you so kindly left behind, have stayed in her heart. Ever since she discovered it all that time ago, it's never been very far from her; she cherishes it more than you'll ever know. 

"You didn't show it to anyone, right?" Your voice is laced with worry, lowered a bit to keep others from overhearing. 

"No, no! Of course not. I just… kept it for myself. You're really talented; I couldn't stop reading your stuff." 

"Thank, I guess?" You awkwardly chuckle, still a bit rusty on how to interact with her after everything. Plus, to be fair, having your crush read one of the love letters you wrote about her is a bit unheard of. Newfound territory, you think to yourself.

"How long?" You ask after a minute of silence, only realizing how loaded your question is after it slips past your lips, turning into a puff of steam in the chilly atmosphere. "How long have you… felt that way about me?" You quickly add, "Assuming that you feel what the poem says, of course." 

An amused smile tweaks her lips at how cute you are. "I do, Y/N. I always have; ever since that afternoon at the daycare." 

"Really?" The question is quiet, full of childlike disbelief. 

"Really. It was always you." She says it freely now: unafraid.

The sentiment is sweet, but memories of the football game come flooding back and you're reminded that as much as you want to skip this next part, you still have things to discuss. 

"What about Jeong?" 

"What about him?"

"Did you ever like him?"

"No. The girls thought so, but it was just a misunderstanding. That's why Lisa introduced us at the game; she thought I had a crush on him, but I told her that you were always the one I was looking at. I told all of the girls that, after that night." 

Her confession renders you speechless -- only capable of listening and nodding every now and then. She takes advantage of your silence to finally explain herself and tell you everything she's been dying to. 

"I didn't know you felt the same until our talk in the parking lot. I mean, I was hopeful after some of the moments we had, but I didn't know for sure until then. I wanted to beg you to stay and hear me out, but you left before I had the chance."

You blink a few times as the reality of her words begin to sink in. "I had no idea…"

"Yeah, well…" she trails off, unsure of what to say next. She's forgiven you for walking away, knowing you were just hurt, but the whole situation still left a bad taste in her mouth. So much pain could've been avoided for the both of you if you had just listened.

"How did they take it?"

"They yelled at me for waiting so long to tell them, but then they tried to help me get you back. Remember those student council booths?" She leans in a little closer to ask that last line, her lips pulling to the side in that iconic smirk of hers. 

You audibly gasp and point at her animatedly. "I knew that was you!"

"Mhm, pulled some fancy-sounding excuse out of my ass to convince the board, and boom; 20 brand new tables set up the next day. I still can't believe you managed to slip past them, though. I mean, c'mon, have you seen how talkative those kids can be?" 

"Trust me, it wasn't easy," you laugh with her. "I had to sneak to the back entrances like a drug dealer." 

"I can totally see that." 

"I'm dedicated, what can I say?" The stupid hair flip you do makes her laugh even harder, clutching her stomach as those beautiful sounds slip past her lips. 

As your shared laughter eventually turns into soft chuckles, she smiles at you, saying, "I really missed this. I missed you, so so much." 

"I've been a wreck without you, Jisoo. It's honestly embarrassing." 

She looks at you with something new shining in her eyes, and she carefully contemplates what she's about to admit. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course." 

"I rarely cry, Y/N, but I did over you. So you have no reason to be embarrassed. It seems like both of us were pretty bad off." She looks down after saying that, scuffing her foot against the concrete of the sidewalk. Being vulnerable isn't usually easy for her, and she never really lets people see that side of her -- not even the girls. She feels like she has to stay strong for them to keep things running smoothly, but she fails to realize how important her own feelings are. You're different, though; she feels like her entire collection of secrets would be safe with you, and you make her feel secure enough to be open like that. 

When she feels you step closer and hook two fingers underneath her chin, her eyes dart up to yours and her heart speeds up. Your other arm hesitantly wraps around her waist, giving her plenty of time to step away and deny you. You've spent so much time convincing yourself that she couldn't possibly want someone like you that you're genuinely surprised when she steps further into your embrace, pulling your arm tighter around herself. 

Her right arm comes to rest loosely on your shoulder as her other hand caresses your forearm, rubbing various patterns against your smooth skin. "I tried so hard to get you to pick up on my flirting," she starts, playing with the baby hairs at the nape of your neck as she holds you close. "Every touch," she runs a finger down your arm, leaving a trail of electricity in its wake. "Every look," she moves her hand from your neck to your cheek, cupping it sweetly as she gazes into your eyes. She strokes your skin with the pad of her thumb, smiling beautifully when she feels you nuzzle into her hold even more. 

"And that kiss…" she says, sounding breathless at the mere thought of it. "I wanted it to last forever." 

"Why didn't you tell me that, then?" You ask, not even a trace of anger in your tone. You're determined to let go of all the hurt and fear that your misunderstandings have caused, opting instead to finally get the answers you've wanted for so long. "After I came back from putting Aera to bed you were just… different. And then when you said it was just a part of the script--"

"I know. I was afraid that if I let myself have you like that -- if I let you in all the way -- there'd be no going back." When she sees the confusion building in your eyes, she continues on. "I don't usually let myself get distracted; I can't afford it. You know how seriously I take my studies." You nod, recalling the numerous times you've found her in the library until it closed, studying hard for the exams everyone knew she'd ace. "But you wiggled your way past every line of defense I ever put up. You became my favorite distraction." A dopey grin tugs at your lips at receiving that title, and you subconsciously hold your head a little higher.

"But I wasn't prepared for that. You make me feel things that I've never felt before, and I really didn't think I could afford to let myself have you. Not fully, anyway. I could deal with a crush; I told myself I could keep you close enough that I wouldn't miss you, but far enough that I could keep myself protected."

"What changed?" You ask, smoothing your hands over the small of her back, feeling the heat radiate from her skin. They've worked their way under the hem of her shirt during your conversation, subconsciously seeking to share her warmth, and Jisoo has been acutely aware of it the entire time. 

"When I saw you walk away like that I didn't know what to do with myself. I've had people leave before, so it's not a new thing; but I never missed them like I've missed you."

A bittersweet, melancholic look settles on your face at that; she deserves every good thing that the world has to offer, so knowing that you played a part in her sadness -- whether it be direct or indirect -- disheartens you a bit. 

"But you're here now, and that's all that matters." She says, leaning her forehead against yours. 

"And I'm not going anywhere," you affirm, holding her even closer than before. She brushes her nose against yours with a quiet sigh, relieved to be in your arms, caught safely in your warm embrace. If falling feels like this, she's more than okay with it. 

"Can I?" You ask, glancing down to the heart shaped pillows you've dreamt of having against yours again. 

She nods, uttering a soft, "Please", as she tilts her head to the side in expectancy. You close the remaining distance, bending your knees slightly to tighten your hold on her waist and pull her flush up against yourself. Both of her arms wrap around your neck now, occasionally coming down to tilt your head and allow her better access, or run her fingers through your hair. It's sensual and meaningful, but an air of urgency hangs in the air, thickening it the longer her lips are on you. Both of you are making up for lost time, so it's no wonder you're so eager. 

She takes your bottom lip between her teeth as she backs you up, pressing you against the brick wall that you had migrated a few steps away from during your conversation. If she were kissing anyone else, perhaps she'd care about the strangers staring, or what they might say; but as she stands here, feeling your hands explore her body in the ways that she's dreamed of and your lips kiss her senseless, that's the furthest thought from her mind. Her hands grab at the collar of your shirt, balling the material up in her palms as she pushes her lips against yours from a new angle. 

When you eventually pull back for air, you can't help but say the phrase that's been sitting on your mind for weeks. "I love you." 

Her heart speeds up to match yours, both of them racing as you look at each other with giant smiles on your faces. "I love you, too. If you hadn't already guessed that," she chuckles, leaning up to kiss you again. This one's more innocent, though -- full of giddiness as you replay each other's declaration in your minds. 

"Y/N L/N IF YOU AREN'T OUT HERE--"

Yuqi bellows loudly, blasting through the side door and out into the chilly night air. The metal smacks against the wall from the force she exerted, and you physically cringe at the sound. Jisoo does the same, quickly pulling away to find out what's going on. 

When Yuqi's line of sight settles on the two of you, her eyebrows raise and a smirk lands on her lips. "Well, well, well. Looks like my work here is done," she says, cocking her head to the side self-assuredly when she sees how swollen both of your lips are and how mussed your clothing is. You send her a look that she registers as "Get lost", and she retreats back into the performance hall with her hands raised in surrender.

"Idiot," you mutter under your breath, shaking your head as you watch the door close behind her, its poor hinges still recovering from her assault. Jisoo's giggle makes you turn back to her, finding a breathtaking smile forming on her lips. "You're so cute," she coos, poking your cheek, "especially when you blush like that." 

You fight the bashfulness that attempts to take over, managing to cock a brow at her and say, "Hey, watch it -- I might not be so kind in my next poem if you don't stop teasing me." 

"Aww, don't be like that, baby." 

She tenses up after realizing she let that pet name slip out at the end, but your smile only widens. 

"Say that again."

"Baby," she drawls in her signature sultry tone, stepping closer to you again. 

"Mmm, I could get used to that." You hum against her lips, pressing yours to them at the end of your statement. 

"Good, because there's more where that came from." 

"Oh yeah?"

"Mhm," she settles into your arms again, looking into your eyes with so much love you nearly swoon. "This is only the beginning for us." 

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Welcome To The Pack: Sing My Song

Part One

Summary- 6.2k Steve Rogers x You. Having you back makes the Alpha very happy, and has a hard time keeping his hands to himself. Which you don’t have any issues with that. Shuri continues her work with you, and making progress everyday, enough so Steve hopes to take you on a run through Wakanda. Bucky and his team are drawing in on Brock, but will they be able to take out the ex Alpha and his bitch for good? Warnings- Smut and Violence. Divider made by @firefly-graphics​

A/N- Im breaking this into 2 parts. Its long and I feel like its just a lot to handle all to once. So next chapter will be posted soon. As always, Thank you for sticking with me and The Pack, I hope you all enjoy. As always feedback and your thoughts are encouraged, I’m always open to hearing what you all think and would like to see for them in the future. Happy Reading 🐺❤️

Chapter 8 / Pack Masterlist

You scanned over the crowd, but you still couldn’t see Steve. There were so many people passing mingling, and the room was huge, fit for a palace. You closed your eyes instead and tilted your head slightly to sort through scents, inhaling for him. It made you wish your Little Wolf was back, she would have honed right in on your Alpha. But you could do it on your own, Steve would stand out, woodsy pine and iron, it would stand out from so much of the panthers that the moment you found it, your body curved into it, craving to find the source. Your eyes slid open to look once more and that's when you saw him. His long powerful strides coming towards you, blue eyes roving all of you as if he hungered, all Alpha Male, all your Alpha Male. The white button up was stretched taut over his chest, and the black slacks, crisp, his hands were shoved in his pants pocket for now. Glancing up you could see his hair swept back from his forehead, and underneath his eyes were honed in on you as if stalking you down. In a way he was, as large as Steve was, he weaved through the people with one thing in mind. You. It was simple, and a fitting look for Steve as you felt your breath hitch a moment. His hand swept through his hair, and you could see that he still had a look of surprise on his face, as well as pleasure. Steve seemed to like you looking like this, and that alone made you bite your lip a bit shyly and glance down momentarily, but the moment he paused in front of you, his slight rumble from his chest drew your attention to his warm heated gaze all for you. 

“Little One, you look beautiful.” His hands immediately slid along your side, and stepped in closer, your head tilting up to meet him. 

“You really do like it? Natasha swore up and down that wearing blue would be the best choice.” Your fingers danced up the buttons of the white shirt while Steve circled an arm around you, there was music playing and the two of you started to barely sway while talking. Steve’s hand pressed against the small of your back, heated through the thin fabric of the dress, and you leaned in against him. 

“She was right, reminds me of sitting out on the deck under the night sky when you're wearing this blue.” He assured you and grasped your chin lightly, kissing you deeply. “Come, we must mingle with the Panthers, I know Shuri has been waiting for you.” He nuzzled you gently before tucking you into his side. Already the Alpha felt calmer, more in control having you at his side. The Wolf preened being able to show off the Little One at his side, and Steve had to agree that it did something to him to be escorting you around. 

The night proceeded, and although the function was formal, Steve couldn't seem to keep his hands off you, letting it slide from the small of your back to the curve of your ass, pulling you aside onto the open balconies to steal nipping kisses. You were sure that there was at least a red mark on your neck from where he couldn't help himself, the lash of his tongue and a touch of his teeth making you whimper excitedly while you two were just out of sight. Steve hissed in your ear. “I can't wait to get you back upstairs, make you all mine where I don't have to share you with anyone else.” 

You would tug on his shirt with a whimper, and brush your own lips against his ear. “Still have to play guest Alpha.” And you would lead him back inside, your hand swallowed in his, together getting lost in the crowd, going back to dancing with one another and being introduced to members of the king's guard and other leaders of the tribes following the King. Steve currently got caught up in proper military techniques when you split a way to go to the bar, opting to switch from the liquor they had been serving you to ice water. Tipping your head back and drinking deeply, the ice cold water cleared the parch from your throat when you heard Natasha sidle up to you. Her pale cheeks flushed red from dancing, and her lipstick slightly smudged. 

“Been having a good time Nat?” you smirk, and she winks at you. 

“Just as much as you have been. I've seen you disappearing with Steve every chance you two can get. Plus your lipstick is smudged. More than mine I'm sure.” Natasha pulled out a compact from a wrist bag and handed it over. Grabbing a napkin off the bar, you used a dab of water to clean yourself up. 

“You were right, with this dress, he can't help himself.” You admitted quietly to Natasha so no passersby were aware of their conversation. “I don't know how much longer he's going to want to stay.” 

“Then don't.” Natasha turned around to keep an eye on the crowd, Smirking as she caught the eye of someone. “Speaking of the devil, and he shall appear. Hey Rogers, looking for someone?” she grinned teasing at the Alpha as his hand slid up your back and cupped the back of your neck, his fingers massaging the column loosely. 

“Not you, but there was a panther over on the other side of the room, wondering where you disappeared to.” Steve motioned over his shoulder with his free thumb, and Natasha finished off the last of her drink at the bar. “Then I shall go, I had promised him I wouldn't be long.” She leaned over, pecking your cheek with a grin. “Enjoy your afterparty Y/N.” Before Steve could shoo her away, she disappeared from sight, and you turned towards Steve, sipping from what was left of your glass of water. “Thirsty Alpha?” you held up the glass and he groaned. 

“I am thirsty, but not for water.” He pulled away the glass from your hold and pulled you in for a deep kiss, taking your breath away. Pulling away before he got too carried away, Steve dipped his nose in against your neck, growling possessively against your pulse when you started to arch into his body, the whisk of fabric between you two reminding you both that you were not back home. 

You and Steve put in some more effort to mingle with the others, but once you nudged against Steve's shoulder about an hour later, whispering into his ear that you were tired, Steve nodded while placing a kiss against your temple “Give me a moment to excuse us.” He left you for a moment at a table to bid T’Challa a good night, and thank the queen for her hospitality. When he returned to the table, offering his arm to you, you grasped it lightly and moved to a stand. “You ready Little One to go up?”

“Yes Alpha” You stifled a bit of a yawn, that made Steve chuckle and together you headed for the elevator to the top floors. 

 Back in the room, Steve was quick to pin you up against the door once it shut behind you, his mouth heavy and demanding on your neck. It had been torture for Steve to wait to be alone with you after T’Challa brought up the idea of future children. It made him heated thinking about it, wanting to bury inside you, watching you come undone all for him. Add that dress that clung to all your curves he was becoming familiar with, well it made him left with a hard on that was driving him crazy. 

You tilted your head back to let him inhale you and leave his own scent, his beard rough against your flesh while burning a trail in that way that made your knees shake and your body want more. Your fingers nimbly tug at his shirt until buttons popped across the floor and you pressed hands against the muscular wall of his chest, and around to his bare back, digging your nails into the muscles jerking in response. “Steve, you feel so good.” you panted his name and he lifted his head up enough to look at you. “Get me out of the dress.” You flipped around so he could undo the ties and he tried. Fuck he tried. But there was just so much, and Natasha tied it so tight, his fingers wouldn't cooperate in just this moment. Giving one frustrated growl, Steve yanked hard once and the fabric ripped, making you gasp. 

“STEVE! This was Shuri’s dress.” You giggled softly, and he drew it off, his hands grasping against the globes of your ass through your panties, making him growl in a teasing manner as he pulled your ass back into him. 

“You tore off my buttons.” He hissed against the back of your neck while pressing his groin into you, clearly able to feel the outline of his cock through the fabric of his slacks, making you tilt your head to look at your Alpha over your shoulder. “I will buy her a new dress.”  

“You should probably replace the shirt as well, right? We did borrow it for tonight.” You giggled softly. Steve gave a sharp laugh, amused with your attitude and he gave a sharp nip to your neck which made you yelp with a laugh as his arm circled around you to lift you, bringing you to the bed. He let you bounce on the mattress while he worked on getting his pants and boxers off with a sense of urgency. You twisted and laid on your back, watching Steve while you pressed your hands against your breasts and arched into your hold as you teased your nipples through the fabric of your bra, saying his name again. “Mmmhh, Steve.” 

Finally ditching the last of it, he grabbed your ankles and dragged you down the bed a bit. “Little One, I don't think so. Only one allowed to touch you, is me. Only one to get you off is me.” You gave a playful pout as his shoulders parted your thighs open till you spread them. Giving a inhale against your clothed core and running his tongue over your soaking cotton panties, you wriggled as another rush of wetness filled you. “Fuck you smell so good, just like sex.” growling out as his fingers found the elastic band holding it all together and snapped it sharply, making you yelp at the sting while he peeled the wet cloth away from you.  

“We are all about destroying all the clothes today Alpha?” You lifted your head to look at him, biting on your lip as he dragged his tongue along the red mark the snap of the band had caused.  

“When you look and taste this good, you don't need them Little One.” His eyes lust blown, lips wet and bright red where he had dragged them against your skin. Your gaze followed him as his tongue buried into your folds while his hands pressed against the back of your thighs, folding you back. 

“Oh Fuck!” You cried out, feeling your body stretch tight with the way he folded you and his tongue tease your sensitive cunt while he groaned and growled just enough to vibrate through you. A tug at your clit had you snapping your back and twisting to find something to grasp and Steve angled a forearm against the back of your knees to keep you open for him. Fingers soon started to stretch you open, adding to the full sensation he was demanding from you. At first your hands sought to grip the sheets, but it wasn't useful to tug on them. Instead you pushed your fingers into his hair, pulling harshly and rocking your hips to grind yourself against his face for more. Steve’s beard burned your thighs and sensitive folds roughly, causing you to cry out once in a while. But he didn't stop till you were locking around his digits, rush of your juices escaping to coat his tongue and lower jaw. He wouldn’t stop though, if anything when you came, he doubled his efforts, his mouth and fingers working you through it to the end when you collapsed back against the mattress. 

“Steve you gotta stop for a moment.” you tugged gentler on his hair, trying to get him to lift his head. But his eyes lifted and you shuddered from his look. Steve had no plans on stopping yet. 

Fingers twisted to stroke your walls, and just the motion made you want to do just as he asked for. He nipped the back of your highs he had held back, worked down to sink his teeth in plump ass cheeks enough to leave a playful imprint before going back to tease and suck on your clit. 

The Alpha had you coming once again, locking around his fingers, and he nuzzled against you while lapping your essence with satisfaction. “So good Little One.” His beard dragged a moment along the back of your thighs, leaving a trail of yourself in its wake. It was only then that Steve let your legs fall back and his hands framed your hips to slide you up the bed, pressing kisses and gentle bites to your fluttering stomach till he had you where he wanted you. Steve pushed himself up your body to drag that soaked beard along your skin, biting just hard enough to make you jump slightly, whining his name. 

“Alpha” 

He rumbled from his chest in pleasure hearing you call him Alpha, his hands palming your breasts through your bra, and working your bra down enough to expose your breasts. “Yes Little One?” He asked before he claimed a nipple, sucking and tugging on it, pressing a finger back into your heat, spreading slick and teasing your spot only his long fingers could reach. He was bringing you high again, rather quickly as you never came back down from before. Your whine turns needy, your fingers grasping at anything, his back, his shoulders, his hair. None of them could quite save you, not when he was looking at you while swirling the tongue over your nipple until they were hard peaks, so sensitive that you were arching into it over and over “You're going to make me cum again.” 

A particular hard suck made you shudder as he smirked. “That's the goal Little One. Your not leaving till I’ve had my fill and I fuck you good. Seeing you dolled up like that made the Wolf hungry.” He promised, before switching to the other, and his weight across your body kept you in place while you came again all over his hand that was pumping and grinding your cunt. 

“Steve, oh I need a breath.” you said in a gasp, your hands fisting in your hair as you tried to drag air into your lungs. But he didnt give in yet. Sliding up the rest of your body, his lips interlaced against yours, tongue that was warm and still tasted of your taint took control, and at this point, you just hung on, trying to draw air where you could. Only when you were gasping for air against his lips did he lift away from you, taking a lingering look at you. 

Steve’s eyes were like caresses all on their own, taking his own sharp inhale to enhance the moment before his gaze fell back to yours and a smile ghosted his lips. “You look beautiful tonight, especially right now, all dazed and breathless Little One.” His hands eased along your hips and twisted you to your stomach, lifting your waist up so your ass was raised above you, his palms cupping your curved globes and letting his fingers sink in. It was no secret that Steve loved seeing you in this position, and truth be told it was one of your favorites as well. It reminded you of your heat with Steve having you this way, and you felt him for days afterwards. His marks would be left on your hips, and every time you caught sight of them in the mirror following that heat, you were excited, turned on knowing he couldn't contain himself, having sent him into a rut.  Here you took a breath, drawing it deep and humming in satisfaction when he leaned over you to place hungry kisses against the back of your neck. 

“One day when you're ready,  I'm going to give you the bite Little One, I will take away the memories of these scars. Of those hands.” His nose traced the back of your neck, dropping your head to let the sensation fill you. “These will be the only ones to trace your skin, hold your body still. The only one to love you like this.” 

How badly you wanted just what he said, curling your fingers into the pillows you were pressed against and took a dragging breath. You wanted to tell him to do it, you wanted it, you only wanted his bite to be the one that mattered on your body. But you didn't want to do it without your Little Wolf, the bond belonged to both of you. 

“You promise?” You whined, shivering wherever his hands traced you, and his mouth laid claim to the curve where your neck met your shoulder. “When the time is right?” 

“As long as you will have me Little One.” He growled as his cock pressed against your cunt, and so easily stretched you open for him, your head was thrown back and he wrapped a hand around the front of your throat while he thrusted himself in further. The stretch, it felt so good that tears formed in the corner of your eyes and you arched back to meet him, pressing yourself to accept all of him. Steve set the pace, rutting behind you with a slap of hips against your ass, and shared grunts and groans between you. You were pressing your chest into the mattress till he pulled you up to your elbows, shifting your angle and tilting his hips to grind into you, you gasped when he pressed against your spot. 

“Again Steve- fuck- right there, fuck!” 

“Such a dirty mouth on you Little One.” be licked along your neck and you whimpered when he obliged, now aiming just for that spot over and over till you were crying rather loudly in pleasure, tears streaming down your face and sobs of incoherent words falling from you. Your cunt squeezing and flexing around him for relief, to feel him spill in you. 

“Fuck, your right there.” He hissed out from clenched teeth, and his hand slipped around to press against your lower stomach to feel his cock drive into you, swelling and pulsing as he pressed down making you whimper once more at the sensation of how full you were. Steve could have came right there hearing you whimper at him like that, knowing he was taking you apart just to bring you back together. It was then he let his hands fall lower between your thighs pressing and rolling your clit, making you buck underneath him.

“Alpha, Oh-!” you cried out, and Steve just growled in response, a loud animalistic sound ripping from him.

Your nails dug into the pillows until you pressed a knuckle into your mouth, biting down. The rush, it was fast coming, those coils in your belly snapping one by one till you locked around him, flooding him and half collapsing if it wasn't for his hold on your throat. “So good Little One.” Steve grunted in your ear, and moaning softly to let him know you heard, his thrusts started to slow, groaning as he dragged his cock through your swollen cunt. His breaths heavily against the back of your neck and his chest pressed hotly against your back . 

Steve's hands grasped your hips and straightened to chase his own rush, sure to fill you with his own seed, the drive to fuck a child in you made both him and the wolf happy, and he let those images drive his hips forward till he started to tilt over the edge, with several hard thrusts that pushed you hard into the mattress beneath you, the air from your lungs escaping in a harsh gasp. Steve's release painted you with his seed, pushing it deep to the womb. “Fuck Little One, I’m never going to get enough of you.“ He groaned as he sank to drape over your back and his weight kept you pinned there for a moment as he came back to you. Nuzzling your neck, he wasn't able to move away, the knot still buried deep, but he could relieve the pressure on your back. 

“I'm gonna roll us a bit.” He huffed against your shoulder and you whined as he tipped you and him to your sides, spooning behind you now while you still were catching your breath. 

Your face was pressed into the pillow for a few moments, until you tilted your head to breath, drawing in the sex filled air, heavy with the scent of your sweaty satisfied bodies. You could feel the rasp of Steve's chest against your back, his hands pressed to your hip keeping you drawn back against him while the feeling of his knot was still holding you to him. Your hand reached back for his, weaving your fingers through his and bringing it to wrap around your midsection. 

“Alpha?” You said softly, and you could feel him nuzzle the back of your neck, scenting you as he hummed in response. 

“Are you okay Little One?” he shifted enough so that he could kiss your shoulder. Gentleness compared to his mouth before on you. 

“Yes, I am fine.” You tilted your head to look at him over your shoulder, your fingers squeezing with his just a bit. Your Little Wolf would have been so proud, and how you wished she could have been with you for this. “I love you Steve Rogers, Alpha. My Alpha” 

Steve's eyes widened, although he had felt this for you well before Pierce, or what he felt was love, it was so very different this time then it was before with his ex, he had never wanted to push you into feeling the same way. But hearing those words fall so easily from you, he knew what it was. You were quick though to press your fingers against his mouth before he could say anything. 

“Dont, you don't have to say it back. You don't have to Steve.” Your eyes flickered over his before you settled back down, Steve gave an open mouthed kiss to your neck, his tongue pressing against the thrum of your pulse, just barely grazing his teeth against the very spot he would give you the bite once you say you were ready for it. 

“Y/N, Little One, I love you too, my Omega.” You shivered a bit hearing him call you Omega, his omega. It was a term honored for someone truly special to an Alpha. You could feel your heart almost ache hearing him. 

Steve never pulled out, you ended up drifting to sleep like that, your Alpha wrapped around you, inside you, your head cradled on his bicep. His other arm was splayed against your stomach as he held you close to him, his nose buried in your hair. Both of you are satisfied and at ease. The dreams that night, Steves Wolf continued howling for his Little Wolf, and you saw pale flashes of fur in your mind and barely audible howls back to him, or were those just his echos? 

Days turned into a week, and daily Steve would bring you to Shuri’s lab, then back to the room to rest as you would be tired. Her technology was fascinating to Steve, Him and Natasha would watch Shuri work from just outside her lab. Steve didn't want to be far from you, and Natasha was keeping an eye on her Alpha. When Shuri got to work, large images would be portrayed before her, and it didn't take long for both the wolves watching to realize that they were seeing an image of your mind, the electrical current of your thoughts and memories, your brain telling your body what to do. Shuri chased each one with intense concentration till she would isolate it, figure out what the charge was for and right the issue. Each day a little more would happen. One day at lunch with Steve and Natasha, you suddenly grasped Steve’s forearm in surprise. “I saw her, she wouldn't answer me, but I saw her.” You would say, your eyes snapping shut to seek her out. Natasha paused mid bite with her food, and Steve turned towards you. 

His hands cupped your face and a soft rumbling demand escaped. “Open your eyes.” They sprang open for him to search them, sure that the Little Wolf would make herself known to him soon. A spark of yellow, a soft howl for his Wolf. Anything, but nothing yet. “She will be back soon, a little more everyday.” Steve assured you afterwards. 

And it happened again, Steve was gentle in his love making that night. His hands clasped against yours that were pressed on either side of your head, rolling himself in and out of you as you withered beneath him with soft cries and moans. Chanting his name in that soft whisper the closer you were about to come for him like it was a way to keep yourself from falling apart beneath him. 

He flushed kisses down your neck and chest. Keeping his thrusts slow and deep, letting you feel that stretch and drag of his cock through your channel. It was an afternoon of lazy lovemaking for you both. No desire to reach an end, but enjoying the feeling of each other.  Your legs ached with tension when they locked around his hips, the rest of your body stiffening underneath him while arching your chest into his. You head tilted back into the pillows and instead of your passionate cry, you howled instead. It started out in a soft tone and rose sharply till you collapsed underneath him, your eyes opening to show hints of yellow. You were too dazed to even know what happened, and Steve didn’t say anything while you were like this. He dropped his head to yours, catching your lips to kiss you while he found his own ending, lowering himself to keep you secure between him and the mattress while you clung to him. 

Afterwards you were laying against his chest, his hand sliding up and down your back, and your breathing telling him you were asleep. Steve thought back on that intimate moment, and how you had let yourself go to your wilder side. 

<She’s close. I can smell her coming back.> The Wolf said excitedly, his muzzle lifting to smell for her. <It will be the Full Moon here soon, she will want to run.> 

Steve's head dropped against your head, inhaling deeply. Sure enough you smelled like you always did to him, soft honeysuckle and fresh ferns, but there was that other distinct scent. You. You and Your Wolf. She was coming back. 

Just a few more days. Your right. Just in time for the Full Moon. We will speak about it to T’Challa. 

When Steve did bring it up with the Panther, he was more than understanding, as his people used the Full Moon to do their own gathering. “Of course, if she is ready, You, Natasha and Y/N feel free to go anywhere in Wakanda. No one will stop you from your Run.” 

Elated with this news, Steve was sure to thank him profusely, and go tell Natasha. A knock on her door and she opened it, ushering him into her room. You were curled up on her couch, currently using a phone to talk to Sara. 

“Just here and there. Steve said he noticed her the other night. I’m hoping for it any day now. I really do miss her.” Catching Steve’s scent, and hearing him greet Natasha, you turned back to your phone call. “In fact he’s here right now. Would you like to talk to him?” You questioned while unfolding from your spot, and approaching him. His arm held out so you could tuck into him while handing him the phone. “It's Sara, she was just checking in on us.” 

Pressing the phone to his ear, he could hear his friend's sleepy voice. “Hey Alpha, Y/N tells me you all are really doing good in Wakanda.” 

“Yes, we are. I know Natasha’s been enjoying the extra sun for sure.” His gaze turning to the red wolf, who now was sporting a tan, she grinned and nodded, speaking a bit louder. “I might just stay, there's this one Panther Sara, who is just… whew!” 

Steve scowled at her while you laughed, hiding your face in his side, and Natasha had no shame in her Cheshire Grin. 

“You would fit right in here, you're basically a feline now Romanoff.” Steve replied with a shrug, feigning he wouldn't care, but both you and Nat knew better.  

Sara on the other end was howling with laughter, Sam could be heard in the background. “Go back to sleep!” A shuffle sounded, and a click of the door signaled she left the room to Sam. 

“How’s Sam liking you two being the stand ins?” Steve turned it back to the conversation. 

“Oh he grumbles and complains, but he's just fine. You know Sam. We have this place running just fine till you and Y/N come home.” 

“And Bucky, Clint, Wanda and Pietro?” Steve questioned, almost hesitant. He hadn't heard anything from Bucky since he arrived, and had hoped Sara at least had. But the sound of her voice was soft. 

“No Steve, nothing. I have left several messages. To be honest, I'm getting worried about them.” 

Steve and the Wolf didn't like that, a slight rumble brushing through the Wolf in worry for his packmates. Torn between wanting to go back to find the group, and making sure you had everything you needed to bring back your Little Wolf left him unsettled. “I don't expect to be here much longer, if you don't hear from one of them in a few days, send out a call to the packs nearby. Maybe one of them has seen the group.” 

Natasha sat on edge of the couch, near you listening intently. Once Steve hung up, she got up. 

“Let me go home. You two are fine without me now.” 

Steve hesitated and you shrugged at him softly from behind Natasha. It seemed like a good idea, as he had said before, they shouldn't be here too much longer. and the Alpha nodded. “Starks jet is still here, go and see if they are okay. If Brock did something to any of them… “ He led off in a growl and Natasha nodded, going to gather her stuff. You pushed off the couch and went to Steve, rubbing at his rumbling chest and looking up at him. 

“I'm sure they are okay Alpha.” you said, and he nodded, letting his hands ease along your back, the simple move making him relax, regain his calm.  

“I'm sure they are just busy on the trail.” 

Busy was right, Bucky watched out front of where they found Brock and Alanna, holed up. A series of trails finally led them to here, in this suburban looking area where every house looked exactly the same. The last place Brock would have thought they would look for him, seeing how he hated people as much as he did. It was exactly what Bucky suspected him to do. 

<Clint and Wanda are out back, Pietro with us. It's probably the best time to storm the place. Most of the neighborhood is at work.> The White Wolf cautious to his surroundings, as vigilant as his human counterpart. The beast craved to be more hidden, out of sight. Right now Bucky was leaning against the door of the car with a pair of binoculars, scoping the place out for any sign of movement. Any sign of Cassandra still being alive. 

I hate to go in when nobody is there, we will just blow our cover and they will be gone again. I can smell them easily, but I can't tell if anyone is inside. 

There was a slight crackle to Bucky's earpiece. “Barnes, we just had a curtain move upstairs and Alanna looked out. She’s at least there, and I doubt she would stay all alone.” Clint's voice came over. Pietro looked at Bucky expectantly, waiting for him to make the decision. 

<He’s in there. Rumlow is a son of a bitch, but he's untrusting of anyone, including a bitch he claimed as his. He won't leave Alanna alone with Cassandra. He knows Alanna is a jealous bitch.> Bucky pondered the White Wolf’s words a moment and then responded to Clint. “You and Wanda go in the back, we will go in the front. Watch yourselves.” 

Pietro and Bucky left the van, quick to go across the street. Bucky heard a loud bang of a door, and his foot also connected to the front door, ramming it in as they entered. Hoping for an element of surprise, expecting it actually. What they weren't expecting was several smoke bombs to go off, their senses overwhelmed with the burning smoke. Clint tried to get up higher, above it while rushing up the stairs, a boot connected to his chest to push him back down. A masked Rumlow leaping over the bannister and landing in front of Bucky. “Fuck, good to see you again Barnes.” He laughed muffled into his mask while he went after the White Wolf, who was still coughing and trying to catch his breath. He was able to match Brock's throws, blocking them, and giving off his own while he wheezed in more of the gas. 

From behind Alanna went for Wanda, who was trying to summon enough of a breeze to dislodge the gas, red sparks shooting around her, but a swing connected behind the woman's head before she even knew anything hit her, and Wanda was down. Pietro was doubled over coughing when he happened to notice Wanda collapse nearby and made his way to his sister. He leaned down next to her to slide his arms underneath her to bring her out of the house, when Alanna caught him unaware as well, Pietro collapsing next to Wanda. Alanna was quick to pull out two sinister looking collars from her back pockets, and latched them around each person's neck while calling out. “two out of four Brock!” 

“Get the fucking archer!” He snarled as he blocked Bucky again while the two men moved crashing around the room. Both of them tripping over living room furniture and trying to get the upper hand against the other. Bucky faltered for a second, hearing that two of his team were already taken out. Brock took that moment to send him sprawling back to crash into a bookcase, sending its contents scattering.

Alanna paid no heed to who was getting the upper hand between Brock and Bucky. She had her order from her Alpha, and that sent her scrambling to get to the staircase, and up the stairs to take care of Clint. Looking up she didn't see any sign of him, and fear of where he might be made her and her wolf hesitate in a cower for a second. She knew she wouldn't be a match for him. Not single handed.  Smirking she turned back to Wanda and Pietro, who were now collared, and starting to come around. “Sobaki.” Alanna called them dogs in Russian, and they both turned their attention to her, eyes lowered and vacant as they stared ahead, waiting for her command. 

“Ahh, that's better. Go get Clint and put this on him.” She handed Wanda another collar, and barked out. “NOW!” 

Without hesitation, both the siblings went racing up the stairs, and Alanna could turn her attention to Brock and Bucky, who were both evenly matched. But Bucky was starting to get the upper hand, placing more hits to Brock, instead of blocking. Taking advantage of his opponent getting tired, using his speed and size to back him up, leaving him no way to escape. “Where is she?” Bucky screamed his question as he started to corner Brock, his teeth bared at the ex alpha. 

Brock spit blood off to the side while dragging his forearm across his mouth. His whole demeanor changed from a scowl to a red stained grin, his face going hard and cold as he squared his shoulders, a smirk sliding in place. “Cassandra your sweet little village whore? Is that who you're talking about?” Bucky closed the gap between the two, a hand flipping a knife out from a holster at his side, and pressing the blade to Brock’s bobbing adam’s apple.

“You tell me where she is Rumlow, and I might kill you quickly.” Bucky threatened.

[liibrii]

Chapter 3: In the light, your name

Ojiro Aran x fem!reader

Series Masterpost || Ch. 1 || Ch. 2

wc: 4.7k

warnings: time skip spoilers, swearing, internalised guilt and shame, intrusive thoughts, self doubt, drinking.

a/n: this only took forever cause I got carried away (what a surprise). if you wanna be tagged in future chapters lemme know, and as always feedback is greatly appreciated! 

A step forward, two steps back. Like a dance, just like his mother taught him, dancing and laughing back home, only this dance holds no joy, only cruel turns and twirls and your hand slipping from his as fate whisks you away.

“One Ace special coming up!“ Osamu places a plate of freshly made onigiris in front of Aran. They look amazing, as if taken directly out of one of those fancy cooking books. The practice had been especially gruelling that day and yet Aran has no appetite. All he wants is to go home and sleep. He would have, if Gao hadn't dragged him to the newly opened Tokyo branch of Onigiri Miya.

More out of politeness than really being hungry he takes a bite. It's good, much better than ones he remembers Osamu bringing to practice. “Woah, this is tasty!“

Osamu practically beams at Aran's praise. Even he has changed, notices Aran. Has he grown a little? The grey of his hair is gone, and he smiles so much more. Aran doesn't remember ever seeing him so talkative.

Has everyone changed so much while he wasn't paying attention?

While chewing he pulls phone from his bag, in some silly hope there'd be a message from you. But the screen is empty and seeing his screensaver is almost a mocking to his hopes. What else did he expect? People don't always mean what they say, but a storm doesn't mean to blow away roofs either.

Lost in his thoughts Aran barely takes notice when Gao says his goodbye and other customers slowly start leaving.

Osamu closes the shop then places two more cans of beer on the counter. Without much enthusiasm Aran opens the can and pours the fizzling liquid into a glass. Which drink was it, third? Fourth? For a moment he considers telling Osamu everything. About you, how he feels and how he screwed up. Just to get it out there. But Aran knows Osamu talks to Atsumu, and Atsumu never learned what keeping a secret means. So he blames his sour mood on practice.

 Even if Aran was a good liar Osamu'd see through his little ticks. They've been the same ever since elementary school and so obvious; the nervous scratching of his nails, rubbing of his neck. Ever since he'd grown a beard he added rubbing it to the list.

“I should probably get goin',“ says Aran before downing half the glass in one long gulp.

“What's a few more minutes?“ Osamu doesn't bother pouring his beer. “I'll clean up later. Don't have any other plans anyway.“

A low chuckle leaves Aran's lips. “Life goin' that good, yeah?”

“Could say that. Could be far worse. How about ya?“

Aran massages his temples. He's getting light headed and still he takes another long sip. “Like ya said, could be far worse. Had a rough couple weeks. Women, ya know?“

Osamu hums and nods, wisely. “Women. Got dumped, did ya?“

“In a way...“

“What happened, did ya forget her birthday or somethin'?“

Aran laughs. Oh no, he knows exactly when your birthday is. “Said somethin' stupid.“

“Just somethin'? If she gets upset so fast then maybe she's trouble.“

“Wasn't like that. She trusted me and I... had a bad day and took it out on her.“

Osamu takes an onigiri Aran hasn't touched yet. “Have ya apologised?“ He asks with his mouth full. “Should start with that,“ he continues after Aran shakes his head, “treat her to dinner. I know some good restaurants if ya want. Or better, cook somethin' yerself.“ He opens the browser on his phone. “What's her favorite food?“

Aran tells him. “Whichever recipe ya find I can tell ya right now I can't cook it.“

“I found a few even Tsumu can make,“ laughs Osamu still scrolling through his phone. “What's she like? More into fancy stuff or more homey? Fried rice's easy but not very fancy, more of a safe bet. Maybe with an omelette. I can show ya how to make it to look like a panda. Success guaranteed!“

“How can omelette look like a panda? It's yellow.“ 

“A yellow bear then,“ Osamu shruggs before putting away his phone. “Does she like bears?“

“Does- I ain't sure...“

“Ya don't know?“

“No! Why would I? Is that what ya ask folk ya take on dates?“

“Usually I ask what they think about apple curry.“

“I don't think she likes apple curry... Or maybe she does...“ He gloomily stares at the empty glass in front of him. “Gimme one more.“

Osamu obliges and pours him one more, deciding this is the last one for him. Aran's eyes are getting glassy and he dreamily observes the white foam before downing half the glass.

“We went down to the Kamakura beach,” he says, scratching at his immaculate fingernails. “She looked s' pretty in the sunset... She likes sunsets... I think. Ain't sure 'bout anythin' these days.“

“Everyone likes sunsets,“ nods Osamu. “Never trust people who don't like seein' sunsets. I'm tellin' ya, buy her some udon. Or bring her here, I'll give ya a special discount.“

Aran bursts into laughter. “He'll know then...“ Osamu leans his head to the side, wondering what his old teammate meant by that. “She's ex of a friend.“

“Ow,“ is all Osamu says. That explains everything. You don't date a friends' ex. “Sorry. She sounds great.“

“Yeah, yeah she is... Kinda almost like a whasit's called again, kotatsu? Warm...“ He's just blabbering now, his mind a hazy labyrinth of disconnected thoughts. He misses you, he misses you so bad, and he fucked up, and he doubts cooking you a dinner would repair the damage he's done. Once it would be pretty easy to bribe you with the right snacks but you've changed. You've changed so much he still fears he doesn't know you at all. “Hey Samu? Hav' I changed?“

“Yea? I doubt the old Aran-kun wouldda come to me for advice.“

Corners of Aran's lips perk up. Why is his glass empty? “Yer a good guy ‘Samu. Can ya call me a taxi? I've got practice t'morrow.“

He has to stop visiting Onigiri Miya on the evenings Aran thinks on another morning after drinking and talking with Osamu till late night hours. The cool breeze of the early morning hours is refreshing but isn't doing anything to ease the hammering in his head. Sky without a cloud promises the day to be sunny and hot. Aran's just glad he found his sunglasses ad that the gym has air conditioning.

There's a distant ringing in his ears. Ringing that doesn't stop and causes other people on the train to send him sideway looks. It's because his phone is ringing but he's too focused on trying not to throw up to notice. He only does so once he's walking the short walk from the train station to the gym. Seeing your name over the 'missed call' almost makes him drop the phone. He calls you back, frantically tapping his fingers on his arm, hoping you'll pick up. You don't.

The sun is too bright. Pouring rain would be more appropriate to his mood. Aran's glad he can hide from the warm rays inside the gym. No matter his mood volleyball always takes his mind off things, and even now he hopes it will help him see things more clearly. The thought of you has become a wind chime, singing at every little thing that makes him think of you. Staying focused on the ball in front of him is harder than expected. But first and foremost he's a professional volleyball player with a new season just around the corner. He can't let his team, his fans down. Since your first year of high school you've been his supporter too. He can't let you down.

When his phone rings again he’s in the middle of receiving drills and this call too goes unanswered. Instead your message waits for him.

           (9. 45) Aran are u free this Sunday? the shrine down the street is holding a festival. wanna come?  

A wide smile spreads over his face. He's more than happy to come he writes back, his smile spreading even wider when only a few moments later you text him place and time.

“Ojiro what are you looking at?“ Gao peers over his shoulder and Aran quickly puts his phone away.

“Nothin'“

“Nothing, ey? Does the nothing have a name?“

Aran rolls his eyes and heads for the showers, ignoring the teasing laughter of his teammates. Honestly, he's too excited to see you to care.

Aran glances on his phone to check the time. Five more minutes and he'll be only ten minutes early. He kicks the small stone form the pavement onto the road. Then he straightens his shirt. Maybe this colour wasn't the right choice after all, maybe you would've liked the red one better. Once in passing Akagi said red looked good on him. He sends you a short message, letting you know he's already here.

Minutes later he catches the sight of your figure manoeuvring between visitors flocking towards the many stands. “Sorry, I got worried all the best mochi'd sell out,“ you apologise, pointing to plate full of different kinds of mochi in your hand. “Samu isn't here yet?“

“No.“ His heart clenches. He didn't even think about the possibility of you inviting anyone else. “He's probably just late,“ he quickly adds, “let me call him.“

“Always late,“ you complain, “tell him I got his mochi but if he doesn't appear soon I'll just eat them myself. Want one?“

He declines the sweet and you shrug. While he waits for Osamu to pick up he avoids looking at you. The call goes unanswered. “I'll send him a message.“

“Tell him every minute he's late is a free onigiri,“ you mumble, your mouth full of delicious mochi. “And he's paying for drinks. I saw a stand with soya smoothies up the street. And a stand with takoyaki.“

“Have ya mapped out all the food stands?“ chuckles Aran.

“Well you know Samu, food is his best motivator. You sure you don't want one?“

He gives in and takes the matcha one. He watches with a fond smile as you stuff an entire mochi in your mouth.

“What?“ you mumble when you catch him staring.

“Ya look like a hamster.“

You roll your eyes in an effort to cover the smile creeping on your face. “Very funny. How's life?“

“It's fine,“ he nods, awkwardly.

“Good.“

“Yeah.“ He rubs his chin. The beard is getting a little long. He glances over at you. He should say something. But what? “I'm really sorry about what I said,“ he finally utters. “I do care. About you.“

“We all say things we don't mean, right?“ The soft look in your eyes makes his throat tighten. He hurt you and yet here you are. Reaching out, again. “It's all water under the bridge. Besides, I really missed hanging out with you. So, where do ya wanna go?“

“Shouldn't we wait for Osamu?“

“Nah. It's his fault for being late, he'll find us. And he better buy us those smoothies. Want one more mochi? You should really try the chocolate one, it's amazing.“

Never again. Aran doesn't want to see you hurt ever again.

The festival is crowded, which is to be expected in Tokyo, and he keeps an eye out for you. The last thing he wants is to lose you somewhere in the sea of people. He stays close, quietly delighting in seeing your excitement over different attractions of the festival. A few times your hand brushes against his, sending a shiver down his spine.

Osamu never shows up, messaging about an hour later he got stuck at work, promising you both as many onigiri as you'd like the next time you come around Onigiri Miya. “A shame. I was hoping to hang out with him while he's still in Tokyo.“

“He'll have time in the future,“ says Aran, doing his best to ignore the pang of jealousy in his chest.

“Probably. But will there be fresh soya smoothie for him to treat me to?“

Aran buys you the smoothie you so crave, grinning upon seeing your excitement. You walk around the festival grounds and from time to time he steals sips of your smoothie. You pout and nag he should buy one for himself but don't stop him. 

As night falls you search for a good place to watch the fireworks from. Just after they start Aran puts his hand on the small of your back to gently push you forward so you'd see better. But you don't budge and he bumps into you, his chest to your back. The sounds of festival fade, as if the crowd disappeared and all that remains is you, looking at him, fireworks reflecting in your eyes. The softness of your gaze causes his heart to do somersaults. You snicker and flick his nose.

Tease, he thinks and tickles you. He wishes he could properly put his arms around you and rest his head on your shoulder. He wishes he was here as more than just your friend. He wishes he alone would be enough of a reason for you to always have the same soft look in your eyes.

But if Kita, the perfect Kita Shinsuke, Kita who knew you better than anyone wasn't enough, how could he be?

His hand lingers on your arm for a heartbeat longer. He could try, he could always love you with all he has and hope you'd love him back, hope he could be enough. But if he failed... he'd only hurt you more, wouldn't he? And you've been hurt enough.

During lunch break his phone rings and his hearts jumps, hoping it's you. But instead Osamu's name is written over the screen. A bit disappointed Aran picks up.

“Aran-kun whatcha doin' this Saturday?“ Not even a'hello'. So many years and still so rude.

“Practice till afternoon, then watchin' a movie.“

“Amazin'! Want some company?“

A boys' night out? Why not? It would be nice to spend some time with someone who wasn't his teammate. “'Course.“

Osamu laughs. “Knew ya would. I happen to know someone interested in a blind date. I'll tell her to meet ya at the cinema.“

“What? Osamu I'm not really one for blind dates-“

“The ex of a friend. She's Kita-san' ex, isn't she?“ Aran's silence is an answer enough. “Ya asked me for advice. This is it, go out, try meetin' someone else. Whatever you want to have with her it won't end well.“

Aran knows. He knows all that. He knows you returning his feelings would be the worst case scenario. Sooner or later he'd have to tell Kita. “I know,“ he says. “I know that.“

Osamu doesn't answer immediately, waiting if Aran will add anything else. “Just go on this one date, see how it goes.“

“I'll think about it.“

He does think about it. The entire day in fact. Meeting someone new would be nice and who knows, she might be the one he's waiting for. A part of him, the guilty part that's been way too loud in the past weeks, stays firmly against the idea. Searching for the right one when you're right here. What if this blind date is just a crazy fan who somehow found her way to meeting him? And what about you, it asks? It would be cruel wouldn't it, leading you on while going on dates behind your back.

But he isn't leading you on, Aran argues with the voice inside his head, you're just a friend anyway. He cares about you yes, but only as a really good friend. Osamu is right, you should never be more than that. You're Kita's ex. And you don't date your friend's ex. So why break his heart further?

           (17.48) I'll go on the date. send me time and place.

That's the thing about making plans, the moment you make them something else comes up. Just the following day his phone rings, making his heart flutter when he sees your name.

“Hey.“ Your voice alone makes him smile. “I, uhm, I have a request.“

No beating around the bush. It makes Aran wonder if you've been hanging with Osamu so much you picked up his habits. “Oh, do ya?“

“Yeah. It’s is a bit awkward... Listen, I have a very important exam next week but my roommate's gonna have her boyfriend over for the entire weekend. Let's just say earplugs aren't helping and leave it at that, yeah? So, could I maybe crash at your place till then? I just need a quiet place to study. I can sleep on the couch! Or the floor, I really don't care!“

“'Course ya can,“ says Aran without hesitation.

This is how we finds himself sitting with a bunch of your notes in his lap, you leaning on his back explaining one of the questions. There are at least 4 empty mugs on the desk of his living room. He hopes you've left some coffee for breakfast.

He's amazed by how naturally you fit into his life. Almost like the space beside his shoes in the closet was meant for yours and the jacket hanging beside his was always meant to be there. You've even found your favourite mug already. The bedroll on the floor of the living room is the only reminder you're only crashing at his place for a couple of days. If you asked he'd let you stay longer.

The next morning you wake up the same time as him, sipping your first cup of coffee for the day, half asleep and draped in the hoodie he strategically left on the counter last night. You don't even raise a brow when he takes your phone and asks you to unlock it. “I'll send ya a playlist. Just some classical music. It's good for studyin'.“

“Sure,“ you answer in a groggy voice. “Have fun bouncing the ball around,“ you wave him off when he gets ready to leave.

Your sleepy face makes him smile for the rest of the day. Practice runs longer than usual and he returns late, stepping over two stairs at the time. The lights are still on when he enters but there's no answer when he calls out. He finds you behind the desk, so absorbed in your notes you don't notice his approach. When he places his hands on your shoulders you jump and shriek. “Aran!“ You remove your headphones. “Do you want to give me a heart attack?!“ He laughs and you smack his leg before he sits on the floor beside you.

“Is the material so interestin'?“ He looks over your many notes and pushes an empty mug to the edge of the table.

“I was listening to music,“ you rub your eyes. He notices they look a bit reddish. He takes your phone and clicks the play button and music continues. It only takes him a moment to recognise the piece.

“Dmitri Shostakovich, Waltz number 2. My mom's favourite. Used to dance to it with dad every Thursday.“

“That's sweet.“

He stands up and offers you his hand. “Come, ya need a break.“

You take his hand without question, only raising your brow when he places his left hand on your back. “Ya have to put your hand on my shoulder,“ he grins to your more than apparent confusion.

“Oh, right,“ you mumble. “I can't really dance you know. Not waltz at least.“

He gently holds your right hand in his and gives you a reassuring squeeze. “Don't worry, I'll teach ya. I start with my right foot forward, ya step back with yer left, yep, just like that, then my left foot forward,“ you jump in surprise when he turns you around, “and the first turn, now yer right foot forward, then left, and turn. See, it ain't hard.“

“Easy for you to say,“ you disagree, your eyes fixed on his feet and your mind preoccupied with trying not to step on his toes.

“Just follow my lead,“ grins Aran, gently pulling you a little closer.

He counts the steps and beats in his head and step after another you relax and follow his lead. All those Thursdays when dad wasn't home and mom pulled him into taking his place are finally paying off.

“I didn't know you could dance so well.“

Aran laughs at your words and gently pushes you into a twirl under his arm. “I guess there's a lot ya don't know,“ he says when he pulls you closer again. 

You follow his steps and soon begin catch on the slightest of his moves. Music changes but you don't let go so you dance on through his living room, off beat and saying quiet 'Sorry's,' every time you step on his toes. The way your brows furrow when you mess up is adorable but Aran doesn't give you the time to ponder over the mistake, pulling you into the next turn with ease and certainty of someone who has danced these steps countless times.

When the last song ends Aran leaves his hand on your back. You're so close, your hand in his. Looking and smiling at him. His eyes linger on your lips. It would take so little to close the space between you. So little that would change so much.

He pulls away.“ Do ya want tea?“

“Don't I always?“ you muse and head to put the water on, then open the cupboard but the last cups stand on the highest shelf and even on your tiptoes you can't reach them. Aran gently pushes you to the side and reaches for them. “Here.“

He pours himself a glass of water then pulls his phone out to check the time. Shit. The blind date. That's today! He glances over at you, making your tea, humming the melody of the last song you danced too. His heart drops.

What is he doing? He can't... This is getting out of control. He clenches the glass tighter. You're so close, he wouldn't even have to fully extend his arm to tap your shoulder. If, right here and now, he told you how he feels, how would you react? He lifts the glass to his lips. Probably not in the way he wants you to. A leap of faith, one that could take him anywhere. To the love of his life, he thinks watching you stir, or to the stone to shatter the friendship you both tried so hard to rebuild. A risk he doesn't have the courage to take.

The half empty glass he leaves in the sink draws your attention. You watch Aran head for the bedroom and you don't think much of it. It's his apartment, he can do what he wants. It's only when almost ten minutes pass that you decide to poke your head through the door to see what he's up to. The clothes he's wearing certainly aren't what one would wear for staying at home. “Going somewhere?“ you ask, curious as to why he's wearing a pretty alright polka dotted shirt.

“I have a date.“ He awkwardly fixes his collar. He doesn't want to meet your eyes.

There's a short silence before you answer. “A date? In this shirt?“

Your judgemental tone makes him turn. “What's wrong with this shirt?”

You scrunch up your nose. “It gives you that,“ you wiggle your fingers, “successful businessman in his forties looking for a wife vibes.“

“What's wrong with that?“

“What's wrong with-?! Aran! You're a professional athlete!“ You enter his bedroom and start looking through the closet. “Don't you get invited to fashion shows and stuff? One would expect you'd get some fashion sense purely through osmosis. Ouch!“ you yelp when he playfully smacks your shoulder. “Here, this one.“ You hand him a shirt of dark violet colour.

He takes it from your hands and inspects it. Then he hands it back. “I like this one better. And I'm runnin' late already anyway.“

You shrug and hang it back. “As you wish Mr. CEO. Wait, are you bringing your date back here?! Shit, I need to clean up my stuff.“

“Relax. I'm not bringin' anyone back. It's a blind date anyway. Ya keep studyin' alright? I'll be very disappointed if ya don't get the highest mark.“

“What do you mean a blind date? Damn, I didn't expect that from you player boy,“ you tease and it's a distraction enough for Aran to miss the forced smile.

“Osamu's idea.“

A small “Ah,“ is all you reply at first. “Get going then, being late is the worst you can be on the first date!“ You push him out of the room. “Have fun, don't say anything stupid, and don't only talk about volleyball.“

“It's not my first date y/n, gosh, stop bein' such a mom. Why are ya so excited anyway?“

“Probably too much caffeine.“

When he returns you're still up. You have two cups of tea ready before he even takes his shoes off.

“So, how was it?“ You push the cup across the table. “Come on, come on, no need to be shy,“ you grin, “tell me!“

Aran rolls his eyes at your sudden excitement. “It was nice, but nothin’ special,“ he tells you.

“Just nice?“ You tap your fingers on the table. Aran recognises the rhythm, it's one of your favourite songs. You sent it to him a few days ago. “Dating must be harder now that you're famous,“ you say, absent-mindedly. “Or is it easier?“

Before answering he takes a cracker from the bowl on the table. “Harder,“ is the answer he settles on. “Ya never know if they're attracted to ya or yer status. What about ya?“ He focuses on chewing crackers and taking small sips of tea, anything to keep from glancing at you.

“Ah you know,“ you sigh, “have enough other problems at the moment. College is messing with my head enough already. Why put another person in the mix?“ This time Aran doesn't miss how your voice trembles, and how you rub your forehead. Maybe you just have a light headache. You do look exhausted.

He changes the subject, feeling the talk of dating is quickly approaching dangerous territory. “How are ya feelin'? With studyin' and all?“

You lean on your hand. “Could be much worse. It's just a lot. Probably should have started with studying earlier.“

“But with work ya didn't even have enough time, right? Don't be too hard on yerself.“

“Actually, I quit. I thought it would help me focus on studying,“ you say upon seeing his questioning gaze.

“Ya know what will help ya study better? Some good night's sleep.“ He takes your empty cup. “I'll do the dishes, ya go ready for bed. No talkin' back,“ he points his finger to your face, “ my house, my rules. No stayin' up past midnight.“

“It's one in the morning.“

“Past time for ya to go to bed then young lady.“

After that you don't protest and before he even finishes doing the dishes you're snuggled on your bedroll and half asleep. Seeing you fills him with warmth. He could get used to this, coming home to you every night. He turns the lights off.

When he lays in his bed he wonders what's with the sinking feeling in his chest. There's anger. Why were you so excited for his date in the first place? Why did you look almost disappointed when he said it was nothing special? He hugs his pillow, thinking he'd much rather it was you in his arms. You must be soft. If only you'd be here, his nose filled with the scent of your shampoo. Teeth of shame sink in his heart. Why does he have to feel like this?

He wants you to be jealous. It's so damn childish, he knows that. It's something his teenager self felt when you hugged Kita after a game but only gave him a high five and a head pat.

How long is he going to keep lying to himself? He's in love with you. Not the you he remembers. You here and now. You sipping your fourth cup of coffee, you frantically flipping through notes wearing one of his old hoodies. That at least hasn't changed; you still steal any hoodie you can get your grabby little hands on. Not steal, he corrects himself, borrow. You borrow them. For an undetermined period of time.

He buries his face in the pillow. You're not the always cheerful manager he remembers anymore. But you are still you.

Tag list: @aonenthusiast @rosecaffelatte @kara-grayson04

[mikauzoran]

Lukadrien: Zebras Can’t Change Their Stripes: Chapter Seven

Read it on AO3: Zebras Can’t Change Their Stripes: Chapter Seven

“Aren’t you done yet?” Luka half laughed, half groaned, banging his head against the bathroom door.

“Perfection takes time,” Adrien informed primly from within. “It’s my first show. I want to make a good impression.”

Luka clicked his tongue. “Perfect Fifth, they’re going to love you, but you take longer in the bathroom than my ex, and I still need to do my makeup.”

There was a beat before Adrien tentatively asked, “…Are we at a point where we can make jokes about your ex?”

Luka contemplated this for a moment and winced, admitting, “No. No, I actually don’t think we are.”

“…Okay. That’s okay,” Adrien assured, opening the bathroom door.

Luka, still resting his head against the door in question, nearly fell over into Adrien.

Afterwards, he was equal parts glad and disappointed that he hadn’t crashed into his roommate because, if he had, Luka would not have been able to control himself.

As things stood, Luka got an eyeful of Adrien in ripped, black skinny jeans and punk couture topped off with messy, wild hair and a generous helping of eyeliner.

Luka’s temperature shot through the roof as all the blood in his body rushed south.

A frown slowly knitted Adrien’s eyebrows together as he watched his friend closely for a reaction and didn’t seem to get a positive one.

“…How…do I look?” he pressed tentatively, beginning to shift his weight uneasily back and forth, fidgeting under Luka’s intense gaze.

Luka was preoccupied with fantasies of pushing Adrien up against a wall and sticking his tongue down Adrien’s throat.

…Better yet, Adrien pushing Luka up against a wall and sticking his tongue down Luka’s throat.

“Is it that bad?” Adrien demanded, beginning to panic as he took the shocked silence the wrong way. “Did I put on too much eyeliner? I’m sorry. I should have asked for your help, but I thought I knew what I was doing because I’ve seen the way you dress, so I thought—”

“—Sorry. What?” Luka cut him off, managing to shake himself loose from his daydreams. “I’m sorry. I spaced for a minute there. What are we talking about?”

Adrien blinked twice slowly. “…Um… Do I look bad? You were staring.”

“Oh! No! Nonono,” Luka assured, waving his hands in an attempt to clear up the misunderstanding. “Sorry. NO. You look great. I was just…”

Some of the blood deigned to come back up into his face to make him look like a cherry tomato.

He cleared his throat. “Sorry. I’m a little out of it. You look perfect. I love you—your eyeliner. And the hair,” Luka covered, mentally smacking himself.

“Oh,” Adrien responded uncertainly. “Thank you? I was kind of going for a Chat Noir vibe.”

“You look amazing.” Luka finally got it together and replied with an earnest smile. “You really nailed it. Jacob and Josie are going to coo and fuss over you.”

“Are you going to coo and fuss over me?” Adrien hummed, resting his forearm on the wall and leaning so that he very much resembled Chat Noir: lithe and predatory and very dangerous to Luka’s sanity in such tight clothing.

“I don’t think your ego really needs it,” Luka countered, “but I’ll consider it if you don’t make us late and we have a few minutes before we need to leave for the show.”

Adrien pulled out his phone and winced at the time. “Looks like my ego will have to wait to be stroked because we’re cutting it close as is.”

“Pity,” Luka sighed, not sure if he’d dodged a bullet or been deprived of an opportunity.

 True to Luka’s word, Josie and Jacob did, in fact, coo and fuss over Adrien when he and Luka arrived at the bar where they’d be playing.

“Look at him!” Jacob exclaimed, showing Adrien to Marc like a prize being revealed on a gameshow. “He’s so precious! He looks like a real baby punk!”

Josie shot Luka a lascivious grin and quietly teased, “So, how are you holding up with him wearing those pants?”

Luka took her by surprise by answering honestly: “I’m going out of my freaking mind. Thank you for asking.”

The smirk promptly dropped off of Josie’s face to be replaced by a look of concern. “Luc, are you okay?”

Luka shook his head. “Adrien is the guy Marinette never got over, and Adrien had feelings for her too in the past, so when they meet up again, I can only guess at what will happen.”

Josie winced. “That…really sucks.”

“Yeah, so there’s no point in letting my feelings for him come back only so he can break my heart too,” Luka sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Kind of hard with him looking like that.”

“Everything okay?” Marc called out, drawing Jacob and Adrien’s attention to Luka.

Adrien’s eyes narrowed, and he came over to touch Luka’s cheeks and forehead, testing for fever. “Are you still feeling out of it, Orpheus? You do feel a little warm.”

Adrien’s hands on Luka’s skin only served to make Luka’s temperature jump an additional degree or two.

“I’ll be all right. Thanks,” Luka lied, slipping out of Adrien’s reach. “Probably just a twenty-four-hour bug. I’m going to go start the equipment check.”

Jacob opened his mouth to comment, but Josie caught him by the sleeve and whispered in his ear.

Marc quirked an eyebrow, and Josie repeated what Luka had told her for him as well.

Collectively, the group grimaced.

“What’s going on, guys?” Adrien inquired, looking back and forth worriedly between Luka’s retreating back and the rest of their bandmates.

“He’s just feeling a little depressed and hopeless right now,” Marc explained with a sad but kind smile. “We’ll have to figure out some way to make him feel better and lighten up a bit.”

“We should do something fun together,” Jacob agreed, going to sling an arm around Adrien’s shoulders. “No need to worry about it now, though. Right now, we just need to get through the show.”

Adrien nodded as Jacob led him over to the equipment to prepare for the performance.

 “That was amazing!” Josie squealed, throwing her arms around Adrien as soon as they made it off stage.

“I can’t believe we pulled that off without a hitch,” Jacob laughed giddily, carding a hand through his spikey hair.

Marc rolled his eyes, giving everyone pats on the back. “I mean, we have been practicing every day this week for hours.”

“Still, Adrien was incredible,” Luka chimed in, giving Adrien’s arm a squeeze. “That was flawless.”

“Not completely flawless,” Adrien protested sheepishly. “But thank you. Seriously. Everyone…”

He looked around at his bandmates with an enormous, grateful grin. “Thank you so much for your patience with me this week. Thank you for letting me be a part of your group. This was really a team effort, and I never could have done it without you.”

“Aww. He’s so modest,” Jacob chuckled, pulling Adrien into a side hug and ruffling his hair.

“You could have managed without Jacob,” Josie snickered, giving the bassist a teasing elbow.

“Josephine, play nice,” Marc sighed in exasperation, shaking his head with a fond smile.

“We should celebrate!” Josie announced, pointedly ignoring Marc’s reprimand. “Who wants to get some drinks and dance?”

“Me!” Jacob’s hand shot up, and he proceeded to bounce up and down in place. “Me-me! Me!”

Luka winced. “I…can’t. I drove over here, and I need to be able to get Adrien home safe.”

“I could get you guys home,” Marc volunteered. “I need to bow out so I can go tuck my little girl in, but I can come back later and drive you home.”

“Hold up,” Adrien demanded. “You have a daughter?”

“I’m surprised he hasn’t shown you pictures yet,” Josie scoffed.

“Her name is Antoinette,” Marc gushed, beaming with pride. “She’s two years old, and she’s the best thing I’ve done in my entire life.” He whipped out his phone and navigated to his photos.

“Aww,” Adrien cooed as he looked at the picture of a pale toddler with ink black hair and even darker eyes in a green party dress with her arms wrapped around a fluffy white Maltese. “Marc, she’s adorable!”

“Thank you,” Marc preened. “I wish I could take the credit, but that’s all my wife Wakana.”

“Her smile is yours, though,” Adrien observed.

“You are the sweetest thing,” Marc laughed, patting Adrien on the shoulder before turning to Luka. “I should be back in about an hour, but you can stay later, if you feel like it. You feeling emotionally well enough to drink responsibly?”

Luka’s teeth sank into his bottom lip. “Maybe?” he fibbed.

Honestly, he was on the edge and could easily go either way. It could turn out to be a fun night with friends or the start of another drunken grief spiral.

Marc pursed his lips.

“Don’t fret so much,” Jacob chided, clicking his tongue as he slung his arm around Luka’s shoulders. “You’re no fun, Maman. I’ll look after Luc.”

“This does not inspire confidence,” Marc sighed.

“I’ll keep an eye on Luka,” Adrien volunteered. “I don’t drink, so I can play babysitter and make sure everyone’s okay until you get back, Marc.”

“Thank you,” Marc replied, only slightly exaggerating his relief. “I feel better leaving an adult in charge.”

“You don’t drink?” Josie pressed, ignoring Marc’s slight as she looped her arm through Adrien’s.

Adrien shook his head and smiled in embarrassment. “Yeah…I kind of don’t like not being in control. It’s dangerous, making yourself vulnerable like that. It would be different if we were somewhere safe and it was just people I trusted, but…”

Josie’s eyes narrowed. “Chéri, are you okay? Who hurt you?”

Adrien shrugged, averting his gaze, still not quite ready to admit that he’d been on the streets until just a few days prior.

Luka broke away from Jacob and went to Adrien’s side, resting a hand on his shoulder and looking him in the eye intently. “We don’t have to stay, if you’re uncomfortable. Just say the word, and I’ll take you home. It’s totally fine, Perfect Fifth. I don’t mind, honestly.”

“No, no,” Adrien assured, waving away Luka’s concern with one hand. “It’s good. I’m not uncomfortable, but thank you so much for always being so considerate. I appreciate it. No, I like dancing, so I have no problem hanging out with everyone.”

Luka let go of the breath he’d been holding, and the tension slowly faded from his body. “Okay. Good. Just let me know if you start feeling uncomfortable, though. Any time. I want to make sure you feel safe.”

Adrien smiled brightly, gratitude and affection filling his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Can we meditate for a moment on the fact that he calls him ‘Perfect Fifth’?” Jacob demanded, unable to hold in his laughter. “That is the sappiest thing, and I’m kind of jealous because I never got a cute pet name like that when I was dating him.”

“Ouch,” Adrien snickered, pulling away from Josie to wrap his arms possessively around Luka. “Sucks to be you. Guess Luka just loves me more.”

Marc shoot Luka a pitying look as he wondered if it were really okay to let Luka drink that night after all.

Meanwhile, Jacob cackled. “Ow! I am wounded. Even more so because it’s probably true.”

“So…if you’re Luka’s perfect fifth,” Josie puzzled, “does that make Luka your tonic?”

Adrien hummed softly in thought, not noticing as Luka tried not to spontaneously combust in mortification.

Not for the first time, Luka thanked the heavens that he was taller than Adrien so that Adrien couldn’t see the look on Luka’s face as Adrien embraced him.

“I mean…yeah,” Adrien replied softly, resting his head on Luka’s chest. “Luka’s always been my ‘tonal center’ in a way. Whenever I felt frazzled or lost as a teen, I knew I could go to him to help me find my way again…so I guess he is my tonic.”

“Aww,” Josie cooed. “That’s adorable. I was teasing, but you are just too cute.”

“Yeah,” Jacob sighed with a shrug. “I know when I’ve been beat. You win, Adrien. I could never say something that gooey with a straight face. You and Luka deserve each other.”

Adrien made a move to pull back to reply, but Luka hugged him in tighter, afraid that how he felt for Adrien was written plainly all over his face and that if Adrien saw it, he wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing a flat with Luka anymore.

“Sorry,” Luka whispered, burying his face in Adrien’s hair. “That’s…That’s really sweet. It means a lot to me that you think of me that way.”

“Of course,” Adrien chuckled, not minding the affection in the least. “You’re one of the few people in my life I’ve always been able to count on.”

“Okay, seriously,” Josie huffed. “Who hurt you? Who do I need to go beat up?”

Adrien broke away from Luka and turned to placate Josie. “It’s really not that bad. Please don’t assault anyone on my behalf.”

Luka turned away and quickly attempted to compose himself.

Marc gave him a questioning look, a silent offer of assistance, but Luka shook his head.

Jacob quirked an eyebrow.

“I reserve my right to assault whoever I determine deserves it,” Josie insisted indignantly, reaching out to ruffle Adrien’s hair.

Adrien gave up and submitted to Josie’s attentions with a small sigh and a reluctant smile. “Thank you, but I really am fine.”

“You’ll never convince her of that,” Luka informed, briskly changing the subject. “Let’s go get some drinks, shall we?”

 Luka had regrets.

At that moment, his regrets were named Whiskey and Adrien.

More specifically, Adrien’s dancing.

Adrien dancing like that while wearing skinny jeans that reminded Luka how he had worshipped Chat Noir’s butt back in the day.

Luka didn’t really dance, but Jacob and Adrien had hit the dance floor, and seeing them together made Luka irrationally jealous, so he’d gone over there and started dancing with Adrien…and the alcohol in Luka’s blood was trying to convince him that it would be a good idea to tug Adrien in gently so that their bodies were pressed flush together and then kiss him for all he was worth.

Objectively, Luka knew that this was a very, very bad plan…but the way Adrien was swiveling his hips gave Luka ideas that would be easier to shake if he were sober.

And Luka was not sober.

“Where did you learn to dance?” he asked over the music in an attempt to distract himself from the bad ideas.

Adrien’s face flushed. “Mostly Chloé. She had alternating phases where she was really obsessed with pole dancing, belly dancing, and burlesque.”

“Oh,” Luka replied dumbly.

“Alya taught me a little too, though. Nino tried, but our styles are different,” Adrien elaborated, body flowing like liquid to the beat as he spoke. “I don’t think all of my lessons in ballroom and Latin dance count, but…I’m sure you’ll recognize where I stole this cute butt wiggle from.”

Luka did indeed recognize Marinette’s patented butt wiggle, and it made him feel all kinds of things he didn’t want to feel.

“Is that Marc over by the bar?” Luka asked, craning his neck as if trying to get a better view.

Adrien frowned and stopped dancing to look too. “…I don’t…think I see him?”

“I think that was him,” Luka lied. “You go ahead and keep dancing with Jacob and Josie. I’m going to meet up with Marc and take a seat.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Adrien inquired uncertainly. “Want me to walk you?”

Luka shook his head, needing to get away so that he could stop feeling so much. “Nah. He’s just over there. I can make it across the room by myself. You keep having fun, Angel.”

“O…Okay,” Adrien replied, still uneasy as Luka smiled reassuringly before turning to go.

Luka was quickly swallowed up by the crowd, and Adrien couldn’t quite relax after losing sight of him.

Luka made a beeline for the bar, numbing himself with more alcohol.

Fortunately, Marc really did show up within a few minutes and found Luka before too much harm could be done.

“I take it the evening took a turn for the worse?” Marc sighed, gently taking Luka’s glass away from him.

Luka groaned, resting his forehead on the counter. “I’m in love with him. I never stopped loving him, and now he’s going to start dating Marinette, and I’m going to have to pretend to be okay with this, to be happy for them, and I can’t do it. I can’t do this.”

“I think you’re catastrophizing,” Marc informed softly, reaching out to rub soothing circles between Luka’s shoulder blades. “I know it feels hopeless now, but hang in there, okay? Things will look a little less dark in the morning. You’re going to get through this.”

Luka shook his head.

“Shhh,” Marc cooed, giving Luka’s shoulder a squeeze. “Yes, you will. You’re strong, Luc. You’re tough, and you’re going to make it if I have to drag you out the other side.”

 “What happened?!” Adrien gasped, stunned at the state he found Luka in fifteen minutes later.

Marc winced. “I think the alcohol suddenly hit him all at once.”

“Luka, are you okay?!” Adrien was at his side, fussing and carrying on, in seconds.

“No,” Luka moaned.

“He’ll be okay in the morning,” Marc promised through a doubtful grimace. “Or…at least by tomorrow evening. He just needs to throw up and sleep it off.”

Marc’s reassuring words did nothing to loosen Adrien’s pinched frown.

“Don’t worry,” Marc soothed, reaching out to rest a hand on Adrien’s upper arm. “He’s going to be okay. Trust me.”

Slowly, tentatively, Adrien nodded.

 They packed Josie and Jacob into a cab to Josie’s house to take care of one another for the night and then loaded Luka into the backseat of Luka’s car, most of his weight supported by Adrien.

“You’re beautiful,” Luka purred as he played dazedly with Adrien’s hair. “So pretty.”

“Thank you,” Adrien replied self-consciously, not sure how to respond. “You’re pretty too.”

“You’re going to-to hurt me,” Luka chuckled darkly.

Adrien gave a start. “No, I’m not. I would never do anything to hurt you, Luka.”

“Not on purpose,” Luka hummed, dropping his head to Adrien’s shoulder. “Not on purpose…porpoise.” He laughed at that.

“Not on porpoise,” Adrien agreed, still feeling like he was on shaky ground.

“…I love you,” Luka snickered, giving Adrien’s neck a wet kiss.

Adrien gasped, his nerve endings lighting up as his stomach flipped involuntarily.

It wasn’t like the other times Luka had said those words or given Adrien a platonic kiss on the cheek or temple or forehead. It felt different and wrong and right all at the same time.

Adrien wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.

“I…I love you too, Luka,” Adrien answered in the most conversational tone he could manage.

Luka only laughed, further unsettling Adrien.

When they got back to the apartment building, it took both Marc and Adrien to awkwardly trundle Luka up the stairs, down the hall, and into his bedroom.

That accomplished, Marc turned to Adrien with a delicate smile.

Adrien recognized it as the kind of smile he’d often received when the person smiling was about to attempt to manage Adrien.

His defences automatically went up.

“I think I’ve got it from here,” Marc informed with a tired sigh. “Thanks for your help.”

Adrien blinked, thrown off balance. “Uh…you’re welcome. I was actually about to say the same thing to you. I think I’m okay now, if you want to go home.”

Marc shook his head. “It’s okay, Adrien. I’ll stay with him.”

It sounded like a polite implication that Adrien should leave, and Adrien wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Luka had repeated over and over again that this was Adrien’s home now as much as Luka’s, but, suddenly, Adrien was feeling like an intruder all over again.

He turned to Luka. “Orpheus, do you want me to stay with you, or do you want Marc?”

“Marc can stay,” Luka grumbled out from under the arm he had tossed over his face. “Go ahead and go to bed, Perfect Fifth.”

Adrien pulled away, averting his gaze and wrapping his arms around himself. “Well…okay, then. I guess I’m no use here, so…um…I’ll just be in the other room if you need help finding things or something.”

“Thank you, Adrien. I’m pretty familiar with the house, though,” Marc replied with a strained smile.

“Right. Of course,” Adrien muttered, cheeks bursting into flames of humiliation. “Sorry. I’ll just…I’ll get out of your way.”

He’d gotten halfway to the door before Marc caught up and caught Adrien by the shoulder.

“You are not in the way, Adrien,” Marc assured gently, quietly so that Luka wouldn’t hear. “I have no doubt you’d do an amazing job of taking care of him. It’s not about you being capable or not. It’s just that he’s going through some stuff, and he wouldn’t want you to see him like this. He cares about what you think of him, and he doesn’t want you to see him as a mess.”

Adrien’s eyes rounded as he saw the sincerity in Marc’s expression.

“He doesn’t care if I see him gripping the edges of the toilet seat and puking his guts out,” Marc explained, “but he’d die if you saw him like that. He wants you to respect him and think he’s cool and all that.”

Adrien gave a soft snort. “I do respect him and think he’s cool.”

“Good,” Marc chuckled tiredly. “I’m glad to hear that…but he probably still wouldn’t want you to see him like this…you know?”

Adrien stuck out his lip in a pout but begrudgingly nodded anyway. “I just want to help, though.”

“You have been helping,” Marc assured, resting his hands on Adrien’s shoulders. “Everything you’ve done for him since you moved in has been tremendous. Trust me. I’ve seen him before and after you coming back into his life, and he has been doing so much better these past few days. You are a miracle worker…but I think it’s best if I take this one tonight…if that’s okay?”

Reluctantly, Adrien agreed. “…Yeah. I don’t like it, but I get it. I’ve…I’ve not reached out for help before when I needed it because I was afraid to let people see how bad things had gotten, so I do get it.”

“Good.” Marc gave Adrien’s shoulders an encouraging squeeze before pulling back. “You can help out again in the morning. He’ll need breakfast and aspirin and plenty of water. I’ll turn him over to you in the morning, but I’ll go ahead and take the night shift, all right?”

“All right,” Adrien affirmed, finally feeling a little better about it all.

So long as Luka still needed him. So long as Adrien wasn’t in the way.

“Perfect Fiiiiiifth,” Luka groaned deliriously.

Adrien was back at his side in an instant. “I’m here. What’s wrong? What do you need?”

“I love you,” Luka choked, and it sounded more like a lament than an affectionate remark.

“Love you too,” Adrien answered anyway, leaning in to press a light peck to Luka’s forehead. “Marc’s going to take care of you now, so you be good, okay? See you in the morning.”

“I love you,” Luka repeated balefully.

Adrien gave Luka an encouraging smile and patted him on the shoulder. “I love you too. Feel better, Orpheus.”

On his way out, Adrien sent Marc a worried look.

Marc did his best to inspire confidence and optimism, but Adrien wasn’t easily convinced.

Needless to say, no one slept well that night.

[taleofharrison]

We can try | Luke Hemmings

Summary: Reader realizes she might be wrong about the idea he had about Luke. (College!AU)

Warnings: none really

Requested: Idea given by @girl-toxxic​

Word count: 1559

A/N: not sure if this is what you wanted but I like the way it. Also I’m crying over superbloom it was pure art and it was beautiful also Luke studies engineering as a major because I saw on twitter or here don’t remeber exactly that he was good at math and I think engineering involves a lot of math so yeah but whatever enjoy.

MASTERLIST HERE 

It had been a long month you had to change college because your dad got another job in other state and your family wanted you close to them changing school wasn’t hard since you had great grades it’s not that you were a the typical nerd cliché who avoided parties and everything that was fun you just had your priorities clear and partying wasn’t on the top of the list. It was hard to believe but you found a perfect balance between college fun and your studies.

You knew that adjusting to new teachers, new classmates and new buildings would be hard you felt nervous and anxious luckily on your first week you met Ashton who happened to share a class with you he even took you to the building where the class would take place he was nice and kind to you so when he told you he was part of a fraternity surprised a lot.

Your feelings had been hurt badly by a boy who belonged to one he was sweet at the beginning then his true colors showed and the relationship quickly became toxic and though you’d denied it, he was one of the reasons you agreed to transfer plus studying in California didn’t sound like a bad idea.

“Would you like to come to a party this Friday?” Ashton asked out of the blue as you two walked outside the classroom “my fraternity is organizing it”

“A party? At your frat house?” you questioned again “I don’t think that’s a good idea I have to study-”

“Don’t try to play the cliché nerd card here” he cut you off “I’ve seen you partying and honestly I don’t how you keep your grades”

“As flattered as I am by that” you smiled “I try to not hang out around frat boys anymore you’re an exception”

“Just because an asshole dude broke your heart it doesn’t mean all of us are like that” he said “Come on it’s gonna be fun bring a friend or two if you want and my friends are nice”

“Fine I trust you” you sighed in defeat. “I’ll be there”

“Awesome!” he giggled “guess I’ll see you there”

The day of the party came and you thought on making up an excuse not to go like you were sick or something but you just couldn’t bail on Ash he looked so happy when you agreed and he was one of your best friends. So, you decided to put on a little make up and just have fun.

When you got to the party Ashton rushed to hug you a red solo cup filled with what you thought was some kind of spiced punch he guided you through the crowd to meet his best friends.

“This is Michael” he pointed at the DJ and he just nodded in your direction “and this is Calum but I’m sure you’ve seen play football he’s the team captain”

Calum hugged like if you had been friends for a long time “Ashton talks a lot about you is great to finally meet you”

Aston chuckled at his friend’s behavior “Mind if I leave you alone? I have to look for someone”

“Not at all” you smiled “I think I’m going to get a drink”

You crossed the dancefloor to get your drink you recognized a guy there dancing, you’ve seen him around, he was on the football team with Calum you’ve never talked to him you only knew his last name was you knew who he was, you knew about his reputation he was really popular among the girls on the campus which only made you surer that you had avoid him.

“Hi” Luke spoke to you making you turn to face him “I’ve never seen you in my frat parties”

“Observant” you rolled your eyes “I’m just here for a friend”

“And would you like to go I don’t know somewhere a little bit more private?”

You were more than ready to turn down his offer when Ashton’s voice interrupted your encounter with Luke.

“Awesome now you’ve met all my friends” Ashton exclaimed wrapping around your shoulders.

“He’s your friend?” you questioned with wide eyes.

“Yeah and one of my best friends I must say” he said nonchalantly “now we can all hang out together”

Ashton left you alone once again this time with Luke “So you’re the famous Y/N Ashton always talks about…guess I’ll see you around” he chuckled once again.

Weeks have passed since the party and your friendship with Ash and his friends, however you had a wall you didn’t really put that much effort on getting to know Luke which hurt him he wanted to get to know you too, you seemed to be a pretty cool girl from what he could get.

A groan left Luke’s mouth once again “I can’t any of this mate” he complained to Calum.

“Then what did you choose to study engineering?” Calum asked clearly amused by his friend’s frustration.

“I don’t know it sounded like fun when I started” he answered “what am I gonna do? The finals begin in a month and I’m not getting any of this calculus shit”

“I can ask Y/N to help you” Ashton shrugged “she’s pretty good at this”

“Do you think she will?” he asked “she doesn’t seem to like that much”

“She’ll do it if I ask her” Ashton assured “and I know she even helps the classmates she dislikes; she likes to help”

“I guess that could work” Luke sighed “thanks mate”

Luke was the first on to admit that maybe he didn’t give a first good impression at the party plus people often talk about him in the hallways but he was heartbroken and he thought that maybe a bunch of girls and parties might help him out but he was wrong he realized that now, he realized how unhealthy it was and he had been trying to be and feel better.

You told Ashton you could start classes with Luke the next day, you wanted to make the most of this and to end with this quickly as time went by you found yourself getting to know Luke and you’d denied but you were thinking that maybe you should’ve been friends with him since the start. He even learned your coffee order so every time you met up to study, he already had yours.

“Why?” he asked out of the blue one day.

“Why what?” you questioned frowning not following what he meant to say.

“You always hang out with my friends, but you just try to avoid me or ignore me” Luke explained “my question is why, you seem to hate”

“I know you Luke, don’t wanna get hurt”

“You barely talk to me how can you say you know me?” Luke scoffed.

“You are the kind of guy who’s sweet and charming but at the end of the day girls are just another game for you to play”

“I get it now” Luke said connecting the dots together “some boy broke your heart and now you think I’m like your ex”

“Oh, and you aren’t?” you retorted.

Luke abruptly closed his book and picked up his stuff getting up from the table.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you demanded “Luke we haven’t finished”

“Oh, I think we have” he replied “You don’t know the first thing about me”

“Luke your exam is in a week and we still have to review-“

“Forget about it” he interrupted you “I think I can make it on my own thank you”

Needless to say Luke didn’t show up to the rest of your study sessions it disappointed and broke your heart just a little maybe you were wrong, maybe you shouldn’t have said those things, maybe you misjudged him.

A week after the finals Luke came to your apartment you were pretty shocked when you saw him with your coffee order in hand, but you let him in anyways.

“I brought you this” he said giving you the coffee “I hope you haven’t changed your usual order”

“It’s perfect” you smiled “What are you doing here?”

“I haven’t seen you around” he shrugged “which is weird since you’re always with my mates and I wanted to tell you that I got 80% in my calculus final and I’m sure it could’ve been higher if we had kept studying so thank you for that couldn’t have done it without you”

“It was nothing” you said “I like to help”

“I also want to say I’m sorry” he said “I was rude to you and you just wanted to help and-“

“I should be the one apologizing” you interrupted him “I misjudged you and I should’ve gotten to know you more I shouldn’t have assumed you were like my ex”

“In your defense I didn’t give you good first impression at that party” he said “you were heartbroken you just wanted to protect your heart, I get it been there”

You nodded looking down.

“Let me make it up to you” he offered “let me take you celebrate I didn’t fail calculus because of you let’s get a drink”

“As in a date maybe?” you teased.

“If you want it to be a date…”

“I’d like it to be date” you said making you both smile.

[du0tine]

well, fuck.

this isn’t great. frankly its horrible.

it’s never fun being suspended so high in the air with the harsh winds blowing roughly in your direction forcing you to seek shelter against the icy and snowy mixture of rock that sits atop the towering mountain.

to be honest, had it been any other day this would’ve been thrilling. being up here in harsh conditions, struggling to hold on and testing my mental and physical capabilities would’ve been so much fucking fun.

but there are days where you just imagine the rope that holds you up so high, snapping and slicing against a sharp piece of rock as you plummet to your death. the sky is the last thing you see, the butterflies in your stomach going mad from the sudden drop and you can’t help but think, “im going to die.”

most people, in this case: climbers that is, don’t want to die. they understand the risks, they know that given what they do things are bound to happen and im someone who understands that concept very well. but some of us are just so desensitized to the point that death feels like nothing, we’re used to losing team mates, friends and lovers. i just didn’t understand why i wanted for it to happen to me so much.

climbing is a large part of my life amongst other things; friends, family and other significant factors. all pieces both large and small that factor into what i call my life, something that i can’t help but be grateful for. but sometimes i realize life is fleeting. i realize just how short it is and sometimes i realize that, you know what? im okay with dying. whether it be today, tomorrow or the day after, i understand that death is inevitable and sometimes i just yearn for it to happen a little faster.

it often comes and goes, starting with tears and ending with cold, blank and rather monotone eyes gazing into the emptiness. i don’t know what it feels like exactly, the physicality is easy to understand but when i have to put into words its too hard. but it feel freezing cold, isolation hurts, solitude is pain. im all alone with nothing and no one and in fact, i do think im alone despite everything.

i just know im alone.

i have so many people in my life but it’s hard for me to understand why they’re here, it becomes difficult for me to keep them in my life. i find it hard to continue to speak with lifelong friends, keep in touch with cousins and other family. my parents and siblings (my brothers only being 3 & 5) being the only people i can speak to without feeling so choked up.

i speak to people ive met here (tumblr) but it never goes past a few conversations that occur from time to time and to those i do talk consistently with i can’t help but feel like i annoy. sometimes people reach out to me for advice, for guidance and of course, i aid them. it only pains me a little to never be asked if im okay in return but whatever right? as long as the people are happy, then im happy.

here in nepal, it’s been nice. people are nice. the way of life is one that no one takes for granted and it makes me feel out of place, like a spoiled brat who just yearns so much to escape but i try my best to just take a deep breath and indulge. the buddhist culture here makes me understand the ways of life, living alongside other climbers and watching sherpas dance to the tune of death, twisting around and just barely sneaking past almost every time.

despite how beautiful it is with the towering peaks, glaciers and fields of luscious green grass. death holds a strong presence here, one that’s covered by the tourism and clusters of climbers. but one that’s never ignored, everything being worshipped. pooja ceremonies being held for safe journeys and honouring the beautiful land, the mother of it all with offerings. mother nature is honoured and yet, she still plucks us one by one.

last year on my winter expedition i met a boy, well a man. someone who was 12 years older than me, someone i grew to have feelings for that in fact were reciprocated. despite seeming inappropriate, it was all consensual, it was positive and perfect. there was no dirty intention behind it and despite the large age gap it quickly flourished into a sweet, relationship but i found myself growing distant.

we were both sponsored by the same company which is how we met, the both of us being skiers and climbers. people who understood the dangers of venturing out into the wild, knowing what it meant to leave it all behind and pursue your wildest dreams.

he was perfect for me and yet, i broke up with him while living in nepal. i didn’t know why i did at first and it took me a lot of thinking. a lot of time being alone and realizing that throughout my whole life id been accustomed to supporting myself, knowing that there was no one else for me but me. perhaps it was the mixture of dreadful trauma id faced when i was younger, things i never told anyone, things that i only now realize just how bad they were.

regardless, the past is the past and i know i can’t let it hold me down and yet it’s just so hard to keep living when you know just how gravely you’ve been damaged. but i always tell myself that there’s someone out there who’s got it worse, someone who hasn’t stopped suffering from the day they’ve been brought into this world and until this very day.

like them i also wander the earth and yet i have an advantage, one that i should never take for granted and that being that everything that had happened, is over. i shouldn’t let it bring me down and ruin all the good things i have now.

so anyways, what lead to me ultimately breaking down was when i found myself like i mentioned before climbing upwards, fifteen pitches ahead in the air with my team around me. belayed upwards as i find myself freezing momentarily when the snow from above comes falling down, raining down on me as the wind whips me in the face.

it felt so cold, i couldn’t help but press my forehead against the wall and look downwards at my dangling feet. my hands were numb, my ice pick wedged into the snow and ice, my toes just barely warm. i just found myself observing how far away the ground was from where i hung. the distance from where i spiralled about to the ground was like how disconnected i felt from the earth. physically i am here but mentally im lost. where am i? i don’t know, maybe ill know someday? but what if i just don’t try anymore and let it all go, the place im in isn’t a bad place to die in fact, it’s beautiful.

but i can’t let myself plummet to the ground in front of people i know, i can’t traumatize them. i can’t be selfish and hurt others, id already done it once and that was to the man i loved.

pushing forwards we finished climbing, taking in the air at the top and looking down at everything. feeling like we were in fact on top of the world when really this was only one of the peaks we decided to acclimatize to in preparation for the everest/lhotse push that would happen in the next two months.

the feeling was the same as always, a feeling of satisfaction. you feel unstoppable at the top of the mountain, like there’s nothing and no one in your path and yet for the first time i felt anxious.

i felt like i was going to throw up. it didn’t feel great to be up here, i didn’t know why at that moment but when we began rappelling downwards i couldn’t help but think about how cold hearted i was for breaking up with him. there was no reason for me to do so and yet, i just did. it wasn’t right and it took me sometime to realize why. i needed to make sure i could at least put in the effort to do something.

the trek back to base camp was agonizing. i felt like i couldn’t breath properly, falling out of tune with my surroundings and just marching forwards. my team looking like blobs of colourful parkas. silently i felt myself weeping and just feeling like shit. i hated this.

it was embarrassing, i always made sure to peel myself apart and cry when there was no one around and yet here i was crying with people i knew and got to know around me. one of my leaders, who was a single mom that was a total badass in the mountains and one of the best ski mountaineer ive met (she’s also my team lead) spotted me falling apart and staggered behind to talk things out with me and i began to find comfort in consolidating in someone.

this was something i never even did with my own mother. this was the first time i looked for guidance in someone who’d lived longer than me and understood how grief, sadness and just a clusterfuck of emotions works.

with every step i took i slowly pieced the answers i needed for my puzzle piece and now here i am sitting inside my tent typing this foolish rant. my fingers lingering over the call button of the contact id for my ex boyfriend.

i think ill call him and apologize.

it’ll be a good first step.

update: things have been solved (relationship wise) but i don’t feel too good mentally nor physically. unfortunately, i received heartbreaking news that my bestfriend passed away and i feel lost. i don’t know what’s going on, what’s going to happen and i just feel guilty and pathetic. despite that comment, the less people see this the better, it’s not good energy and it’s just negatively going to affect others but i can’t dip without an explanation.

things are on a queue.

[ladyseaheart1668]

Endless Summer Book 4 : Daughter of Vaanu (Chapter 48)

Description: On La Huerta, Estela and Zahra mount a rescue--and make a startling discovery. Tagging: @endlesshero1122 @mysteli @feartheendlesssummer @whatmcsaid @xo-endlessmayhem-xo @tigerbryn11

Chapter 48 : Galatea

Sean

I probably could have chosen my words better. When Lundgren lets go, Jake's knees buckle and he collapses into a heap on the concrete floor. Lungren makes a move toward us. Unfortunately, I feel like he's called our bluff. I'm aiming a rifle I don't think I have the will to use. Michelle and I ended up using the pepper spray canisters on the guards' belts to incapacitate them. And before I can work up the will to pull the trigger on the weapon I'm actually holding, Lundgren is swinging a fist at me. Luckily, this is the moment when instinct kicks in. I drop the rifle, duck under his arm, and twist to throw myself onto his back, catching him in a headlock.

“Michelle! Help Jake!”

I keep my arm firm around Lundgren's neck even at he struggles against me, squeezing in an effort to cut off his air supply. We're almost evenly matched. I've got a couple inches on him, and he doesn't have the high-tech exoskeleton he sported on the island. But he's also spent the last five years in a military prison. And when he throws himself backward into the wall, crushing me between it and his body, I feel the impact. But I'm not letting up. Not until he goes down. I tighten my grip and time slows around me like I've taken the sap of Elyys'tel. Lundgren is starting to sink under my assault. I can feel him losing strength. Then there's a flash of movement on the edge of my vision. Lundgren goes rigid for a moment before his  legs give out and he crumples to the ground. It registers that

Michelle is beside me a moment a moment after the touch of her hands one my arm and shoulder prompt me to let go of Lundgren. I look dazedly down at the groaning, growling pile of ex-navy jackass at my feet. In the dim light, I can faintly see blood collecting beneath him. Michelle puts and hand on my cheek and turns my face towards hers.

“Are you okay, babe?” she asks softly, stroking my face. It takes a moment before I can nod.

“Yeah...what...?” I nod faintly at Lundgren.

“Screwdriver.” I look over at Jake, smirking as he braces himself on a table at the back of the room. “Right in his gut. No one messes with Maybelline's man.”

I feel my stomach clench. The light in the room isn't great, but I can still see how battered Jake is, and the trickle of blood down the side of his head isn't at all reassuring.

“Shit, man, are you okay?”

He nods, even as I can see him swaying. “I'm fine. Not the important issue right now.”

“No, you're not fine,” Michelle says firmly, moving to brace him. “I'm not ruling out the possibility that you're dealing with a concussion, so we need to get you someplace safe ASAP.”

“Not without Mike,” Jake answers flatly, but he doesn't fight her support.

“No one's talking about leaving him behind,” I assure him. “But...what do we do about this guy?” I nod down at Lundgren.

“...We...shouldn't leave him alive, should we?” Michelle asks uncertainly. “He knows too much about the island...”

“But killing a man who's supposed to be dead already and leaving his body doesn't seem like the best option, either.” I meet Jake's eyes. “...Jake? You wanna weigh in?”

I feel surprise ripple through me when Jake shakes his head  “I don't care what happens to him. I care about finding Mike. And Alodia and Diego if they're here. ...We have to figure out where they are. If they're here...”

“...Well...this door locks from the outside,” I point out. “We don't have to decide what to do with him yet.”

“You're right. We don't. Maybelline, if you're gonna insist on being my crutch here, I suggest moving or else I'm going without you.”

“Try it, and my husband gets to carry you.”

“Don't think I won't do it,” I warn, trying to keep my voice light. Honestly, I don't think Jake can make it very far without support. I don't know how we're going to get out of this place. I don't know where we are or how far we are from anyone who can help us. But at least as we leave the room and lock the door behind us, we've got one enemy fewer to get in our way.

Zahra

The plane is about where we expected it to be, on the little-used airstrip near the bunker that I think has been abandoned since well before our summer vacation from hell. Torres makes me and Estela hang back while he and his team search it. As we both expect, they come out of the search empty-handed.

“All clear in there.”

“Yeah, we could've told you that,” I reply peevishly. “Do you really think they're gonna keep our friends on a plane when there are deserted bunkers and compounds all over this island?”

Torres ignores me, looking at his team. “Looks like it's a private jet, but it's probably been converted from a commercial passenger plane. We'll get the tail number and run it later, see if we can't figure out who the owner is.” He turns his eye to Estela. “Have any planes in your company fleet gone missing recently?”

Estela scowls. “If they had, don't you think I or my brother would have included that information somewhere in this investigation?” she asks impatiently. “You seem to keep forgetting that these are our friends you're trying to find.”

“I haven't forgotten,” Torres sighs. “I only have the details I was provided. I need to make sure I'm not missing any information.”

“Well, if you're done wasting time, maybe we can show you to the bunker now? Where they are most likely being held?”

Torres meets her steely gaze steadily, but I can see he's bristling internally. Still, he manages to clamp it down. “...Lead on.”

We're hardly 'leading' anyone, since Torres insists on walking right alongside us. But he does allow Iris's drone to hover ahead at least. Abruptly, Iris's drone stops moving forward, and her hologram flickers into view.

“Zahra, an image discrepancy has been detected.”

Okay, that's a new one on me. I get that she's trying to act more computer-like than usual, but that's just confusing. “...What do you mean an image discrepancy?”

“Your surroundings have been altered since the last known satellite image was taken. Other data cannot account for the change.”

“Uh...okay...can you point out this image discrepancy?”

Iris's hologram is replaced with a red laser light that dances over a boulder, partially covered by some foliage. Through the leaves, I can vaguely make out some markings on the stone that look like they might have been done with white spray paint.

“...The fuck? That looks like graffiti...” I move to push back the leaves and freeze. It's not graffiti.

“Oh, shit...” Estela hisses under her breath.

“What is it?”

How do we explain to the military guy that someone has tagged a rock on La Huerta with two Hadean zodiac signs? And that those two signs are mine and Estela's?

“...It's...code,” I finally say. “...When the twelve of us were prisoners on this island, we came up with a code to communicate in secret if we ever got separated.”

“But this...painting is recent?”

“Yeah. We've been over every inch of this island over the last few years, and this is definitely new.”

“So, what do these symbols mean?”

Estela and I exchange a glance. She clears her throat. “It would appear we are on the right track. We should keep going.”

“Hold on now,” Torres protests, frowning. “Why do you think those symbols mean we are on the right track? And who do you think left them?”

“I am hoping that our friends left them.”

“Really. You think whoever kidnapped your friends just let them have a can of spray paint to make pretty pictures on a rock?” Neither Estela nor I can really say anything to that. And as our silence drags on, Torres' frown deepens. “...What do those specific symbols mean?”

Finally, Estela sighs. “...They mean us. Me and Zahra. A dragon and a crow. Those were our code names.”

“Dragon and Crow?”

“Yes.”

“...So...someone who knows your code basically spray-painted your names on this rock. …Which means they not only know your old code, but they knew that someone else who knew the code was going to be coming. More specifically, they knew it would be the two of you.”

I sigh. “You're no slouch, Torres. I'll give you that.”

“Look...I don't think I can let you two continue with us. It's all just smelling too much like a trap, and I don't want anything to happen to you.”

“Yes.” Estela's voice was ice cold, her gaze colder. “It might be a trap. Or it might be that our friends knew we were coming because of all of us, she and I were the ones most likely to come when everything was eventually traced to the island. Because the twelve of us know each other intimately. Better than we know or will be known by anyone else, including our own selves, in our entire lives. Because for six goddamn months, we went through hell together. We had no support from the outside world. And even after we were finally freed, our Alodia spent five years trapped in stasis here. And who eventually found her? We did. Our little family. Not the Coast Guard. Not any authority. Us.

“It was people in authority who threw Jake McKenzie and Michael Darwin in prison when they were innocent, and it was we who fought for their freedom. It has been the people in authority who have failed us time and time again, and it has been our family that has prevailed. So tell me, Torres, why you believe for a moment that Zahra and I will leave this entirely in your hands?”

Torres is silent. I can tell he is digesting her words. I can also tell he isn't totally moved by them. In the end, he's still an authority figure, and she and I are civilians here by his leave.

“Listen, Torres,” I chime in. “This island is legally Estela's property. Hers and Aleister's. You're really here on her invitation.”

“Pretty sure probable cause is in play here,” Torres counters.

“Yeah, sure. Probably. You could probably get away with forcibly escorting us back to your boat and placing us under guard, too. ...But then you'd be down a few men, and the guidance of our drone. And meanwhile, we'd be doing everything we could to get out and get back in the search because we want our friends back. Do you really want the extra hassle and headache of trying to fight us on this? Or wouldn't it simply be easier to make us promise we'll hang back when the shooting starts?”

Torres rubs a hand over his face, swearing under his breath. “Fuck me. This is insane. I don't know why I'm even trying to negotiate. Why am I even considering this?!”

“Because you're not an idiot. You know we're right. Or at least, you accept that you might be wrong.”

“You have to swear you'll stay out of the way if things get violent!”

“We won't make your job harder.”

“You already are.”

“No,” Estela says firmly. “We're not. And I am pretty sure you're smart enough to realize that.”

Tahira

I'm getting tired of the endless, unchanging landscape. Mile after mile of dusty, barren land lacerated by giant, jutting crystals under a vast, cloudless sky, and everything some shade of purp,'le or pink. In spite of how long I have been hiking through what looks like a desert, I'm not thirsty—except maybe for the sight of something blue or green. My legs aren't tired. All I feel is the same fiery pain in my side and the cold over the rest of my body. I can't seem to shiver, though. But while I cannot say the pain lessens as I continue on my way, it does seem to get easier to ignore. Possibly because frustration is starting to distract me. What the hell am I actually looking for?

“Vaanu? Vaanu! Are you there?! Can you hear me?!” There's no answer but the wind. Or...whatever passes for wind in this weird head space.

The first change in the environment comes on subtly. So subtly that I don't perceive it until I am actually in front of the deep red outcropping of stone in the side of a mountain that wasn't there before. Now, I'm not what you would call a gamer. But I have played video games before. Typically, when something changes in your environment, it's a pretty strong hint that there's something important there. This certainly feels like a video game. No matter how I turn my head, I can't seem to see how big the rock wall is, or how high it goes, as if nothing has been rendered but this wall of stone in front of me. ...And now the smooth, sloping path that begins under my feet and winds around the edge of the mountain's face. Okay. So this crystal headspace isn't going to actually let me see where I'm going. I attempt to take off, just to see if I can, but clearly it's not going to let me do this the easy way, either.  In frustration, I slam the side of my fist against the rock wall. The vibrations go through me in a vaguely painful wave. I don't think I do any real damage to myself, but I also don't do any damage to the stone. Out in the real world, a blow like that would have left a dent in the stone. In here, I'm basically the same as I was before I encountered the Prism Crystal.

What changed that day?

Vaanu's voice barely startles me, but the question gives me pause. “...I got my powers. I claimed my birthright.”

And in what way did that change you?

“Well, after that I could fly. I had super strength. I was more resilient.”

So your body changed. Not your spirit.

“Well...fundamentally, I guess not.” I pause for a moment. “...I'm not exactly in my body right now, am I. I mean, I am, but...this body that's walking through the crystal dimension isn't my physical body.”

Vaanu doesn't reply, but he doesn't really need to. This body I'm walking with doesn't have the powers my physical body does. I'm going to have to do this the hard way. But I'm not giving up now. One foot in front of the other, I make my way up the winding mountain path.

Jake

I think Michelle was right about Lundgren knocking something loose in my head. I'm finding it a little difficult to follow her and Sean's logic as they lead us through the unevenly lit corridors of whatever compound we're locked up in. I know we're looking for Mike. I know we don't know if Alodia and Diego are here. I keep wanting to ask if I'm remembering that right, but I've also got enough presence of mind to know Michelle will get concerned if I admit I'm feeling foggy, and then she'll waste time trying to assess me when it can wait until we're clear.

Sean has to take out a couple more goons along the way. I'm not much help, but I do manage to get a pistol off one of them. There's fewer guards than I would have expected. I don't know if it's because Rourke and Lundgren are working outside the law and therefore have fewer resources, or if the four of us just don't register as important enough prisoners to Rourke for more than a handful of guards. It's probably a little of column A, a little of column B. Limited resources means he's probably got less of his resources on us, and more on Alodia. ...Oh, god...Alodia...

“Jake.” Michelle's voice is soft, but firm as she briskly pats the arm that I've got draped over her shoulders. “You still with us?”

“Y-yeah,” I manage to stammer. “Still here.”

“Good. ...You're breathing pretty hard. Are you feeling tired? Any pains when you breathe?”

I don't dare shake my head. “Nah,” I lie. “I'm fine.”

“You're absolutely sure?” She sounds like she doesn't believe me, which doesn't surprise me, but it does annoy me.

“I'm fine enough to keep going,” I reply with an edge in my voice. “I'm worried about my wife. I'm worried about Mike.”

“...Guys?” The tremor in Sean's voice distracts her from whatever she was going to say in response.

“What is it?”

“...Are either of you seeing what I'm seeing?”

I force myself to focus and follow his gaze toward a patch of grubby concrete on the wall bathed in a harsh, florescent glow. ...No, toward the half-illuminated metal door in the wall. ...And the three familiar symbols carved crudely into the door's metal jamb, one on top of the other. Aquila. Pavo. Lupus.

“...What the fuck...?” I hear myself mutter.

“Are those the only signs?” Michelle asks. Sean steps up to the door, squinting as he runs his hand over the shadowed surfaces of the door frame.

“No other signs that I can make out. ...Just ours. Just the three of us.”

“...Is that so weird?” I ask. “You don't think they kidnapped the three of us together just coincidentally, do you?”

“Coincidentally, no,” Michelle concedes. “They clearly planned it. But I did figure there was an element of convenience there, too. I expect of the three of us, you were the one they really wanted secure, and Sean and I are just a bonus they grabbed because it was most convenient to get you when you were picking us up.”

I don't know why I am annoyed by her assessment since I think she's probably right, but I am. It takes willpower to grit my teeth and resist the urge to say something smartass in response.

“Well, clearly, there's something for the three of us behind that door. I don't think we should ignore it.”

“I agree,” Sean says, pulling out the ring of keys he nabbed off Lundgren. “You two stay back.”

For once, no one's arguing with Sean's hero antics. I may have a gun on me, but I'm not very confident in my aim at the moment. Best thing I can do for everyone right now is hang back and let Michelle be my crutch until I've got more of a hold on myself. But then Sean finds the right key and the door swings open. When I see what's inside, that good sense goes out the window.

“Mike!”

I pull sharply away from Michelle, ignoring the way my vision bends as I stagger into the open cell and drop to my knees beside my friend. He's alive. I can tell that right away. He sucks in each breath through clenched teeth, and each exhale comes out as a moan. Sweat runs down his ashen face in rivers. The acrid, metallic stench of fresh-spilled blood is turning my gut. I don't dare look at the source. I got enough of a glimpse at his thighs to know that his bionic limbs have been violently removed—either cut off or torn out—and the wounds crudely cauterized to keep him from bleeding out. Michelle is already at his other side, examining the damage. I grip Mike's hand. It feels wet. From sweat or blood or both, I don't know. And I am not keen to find out.

“Hang on, buddy. We gotcha. You're gonna be okay.”

Mike's eyes flutter open, and he focuses on my face. His lips part in a painful, forced smile. “C-course I am,” he murmurs tightly. His voice is painfully hoarse. “You know me. I'm like a cockroach. Can't be killed.”

I can't help but snort. “You know, Mike, I can't keep using the Captain America nickname for Sean when you keep Bucky Barnse-ing on me.”

“Hey, fuck you, Grandpa. I have two arms.”

“I stand corrected. Now let's see if we can find your legs.”

“Trying to find them would be a waste of time,” Michelle says grimly. “He's going to need new ones anyway, and it's more important that we get him to a hospital as soon as we can.”

Mike winces as he turns to look at her. “What's the damage, Doc?”

“Hard to know the full extent of it at a glance, but their method of cauterizing is frankly medieval. It's keeping you from bleeding out for the moment, but you've still lost a lot of blood, and the extensive tissue damage presents a significant infection risk.”

“Yeah, I don't think they were real concerned about minimizing damage when they ripped my legs off,” Mike says wryly.

Sean suddenly stiffens like a gazelle that's caught the scent of a lion. Michelle and I are immediately at attention.

“What's wrong?”

“...Footsteps,” he murmurs. He gets to his feet, moving to press himself flush against the wall beside the door and peer through. I put my hand on my stolen pistol. I'm not in my best shape at the moment, but like hell I'm gonna not fight if it comes to that. But then his face lights up. “Estela!”        

Sure enough, Estela's voice answers him. “Sean!” And in the next moment, she's come barreling through the door, followed by a handful of guys in Coast Guard uniforms. Sean and Estela catch each other up in a fierce hug before Estela pulls back and rushes over to the rest of us to kneel at Mike's other side.

“What's the situation? What does everyone need?”

“Mike and Jake need medical attention,” Michelle informs her. “Jake may have a concussion, and Mike's lost a lot of blood. Where are we? Can we get an ambulance? How did you find us?”

“...I think I have a guess at the answer to the first question,” I murmur, not taking my eyes off the uniforms. “U.S. Coast Guard. Not cops. ...We're on the island, aren't we.”

Estela nods. “Specifically, one of the compounds in the south eastern jungle, near the older airstrip. They were apparently buried and patched over with data or something, but Zahra eventually found the blips in the security that meant someone other than you had crossed the security field. And given the timing of those blips, we had to investigate.”

“'We'? Is Zahra here, too?”

“Yes. She...she's investigating another part of the compound. At a fork in the hall, we found my sign etched on one path and hers on the other.” She turns to meet my gaze. “...Andromeda was etched beside hers.”

Zahra

From the start, I had a feeling our Hadean zodiac signs showing us the way wasn't actually the work of our kidnapped friends. From Draco and Corvus being the only symbols drawn to the way they were perfectly placed to guide us to an entrance where there weren't any hostile forces, it was all just too...neat and orderly to have been done by anyone actively being held prisoner. And if it wasn't done by our friends, that means it was done by someone else with a connection to the island and the Catalysts, and I'm really just blindly trusting that they're friendly at this point. The Endless supposedly died almost nine months ago, but who the hell knows with her. She might have known all this was going to happen. She might have known since Alodia first reappeared that some of her Catalysts would be kidnapped and held on the island, and that Estela and I would go hunting for them. She might have set this all up before her death. And for all that she's annoyingly cryptic, and for all that Alodia seems to hate her, I'm quite affectionately inclined toward the crazy old bitch version of Alodia.

So, now I'm wandering the abandoned halls of the compound, following my Hadean zodiac sign with Iris and about half of the Coast Guard crew that originally accompanied us, in hopes that the path I'm on leads to Alodia. Hers is the only other sign besides mine and Estela's that we've found etched here so far, which has me a little concerned. Four other Catalysts plus Mike have also gone missing. But maybe Alodia's being held separately from the others. Maybe she's in some high-tech prison cell that needs an expert hacker to get her out of.

“Zahra, I am detecting unusual amounts of electrical activity ahead,” Iris informs me.

“Well, good. Unusual is kinda what we're all looking for here. Iris, can you trace it?”

“Affirmative.” The hologram disappears and the drone goes whirring down the hall with a soft beam of light emitting from the front to illuminate the dim corridor ahead. When she finally slows down and stops in front of a door, I feel a knot growing in the pit of my stomach.

The door has Alodia's Hadean zodiac sign on it, all right. But the door is ajar, which doesn't give me a good feeling about what might be on the other side. Alodia might not be there. She might never have been there in the first place, or she might have escaped. ...Or worse, she is in there, but there was no reason to think she could get out under her own power. I brace myself and push open the door.

Thankfully, I don't find Alodia's mangled corpse on the floor. What I do find are a computer terminal and a bunch of monitors flickering with blue static.

“...Ooooookaaaaaaaaay....” I puff up my cheeks and blow out a breath. “Right. Iris, help me out here. What am I looking at?”

“This terminal was manufactured by Rourke International in 1995. Model V@N8091CH@2139. Serial number one-six-six-eight--”

“Okay, not really what I was asking. How about this: Iris, can you access the hard drive?”

“I'm sorry, Zahra. But this console is incompatible with my system.”

“Right. Well. It's all up to me, then. Iris, are the computer and monitors connected?”

“...Affirmative.”

“Is the console on?”

“Affirmative.”

“Great.” I crack my knuckles and flex my fingers before resting the pads on home row. I press a key, and the static disappears from the monitors, replaced by a blank home screen. Right. Let's do this. Blank home screen. No password. Obviously bullshit. No way I won't have to work for it. And sure enough, all the files are locked behind layers of encryption and code. I let my fingers dance over the keys feeling sweat beading on my forehead as I dig through the data like an archaeologist.

“...What are you looking for?” one of the Coast Guard asks hesitantly.

“I'll know it when I see it,” I snap. “Now shut it and let me work.”

It takes awhile. Longer than expected. Long enough that when I finally feel like I can take a breath and turn around for a second, Estela is there, supporting Jake, who looks a good bit worse for wear. I frown.

“Jake, you okay? Were you alone? What about the others?”

“Torres and his guys took Sean, Michelle, and Mike back with them,” Estela explains. “Mike's really bad off. They've already radioed for a helicopter to take him to a hospital. They'll radio someone in this group when they need the clearance code.”

“What about Alodia?” Jake asks. “Estela said you found her sign...”

“Yeah. And it led me to this room here. No sign of Alodia yet, but I'd bet money there's something on this hard drive that'll clue us in. In fact...” I turn back to frown at the screen. “I think I might've found something. ...'halcyon.exe'...”

“...'Halcyon'?”

“It means 'idyllic', I think,” one of the Coast Guard sailors says. “It's generally used to describe a time in the past that's regarded as preferable to the present. ...I think it's also a bird.”

“Well, whatever it is, it's the first .exe I've hit on digging through this hard drive. Might as well see what it does.”

I open the file and hear the ancient console whir and grunt like it's clearing its throat. The screens all go dark, save for the brief flicker of an hourglass wait icon on the main monitor. Then a familiar face fills the screen and I feel my heart stop.

“...A-Alodia...?” Jake whispers, his voice breaking.

Yeah, it looks like Alodia on the screen, but there's something way off about her. She looks more like a video game character version of herself than a person. A really well-rendered video game, to be fair. Like, complete mocap, expert rendering and all. Detroit: Become Human-level graphics on a computer from the same year as Toy Story. The still image suddenly blinks, and the mouth spreads into a Stepford wife-like smile.

“Welcome,” she says pleasantly, grinning like the robotic lady in the airline safety videos. Her voice sounds like someone took a voice sample from Alodia and built a text-to-speech voice out of it. “I am Galatea, Artificial Intelligence. Observe the flashing light on the console below and present Rourke DNA beneath the scanner.”

We turn towards Estela, who has already passed Jake off to one of the sailors and is making her way to the console. “I hope mine is enough...” She holds her hand underneath the scanner for a moment. Galatea blinks and smiles.

“DNA sample accepted. Welcome...Estela Montoya.”

“Wait, what?!” I yelp. Estela snatches her hand back like the scanner burned her, turning to look at me.

“What? What is it?”

“This computer console is from 1995! Did Rourke even know you existed that early? Let alone that you were his kid?”

Estela frowns, answering me with the suspicious way she eyes the Alodia-looking image. We've all probably got theories about Galatea and this old-ass computer console, but like hell we're going to discuss them in front of the Coast Guard.

Galatea's images freezes for just a moment, like her program is having some trouble loading on the ancient operating system. When she speaks, her voice skips like a scuffed CD. “Vooooooooooice mmmmmmmmessssssssssage for...Top Gun. Available. Voice recognition activated. Please say password clearly into the microphone provided.”

Jake has already stumbled over to the console and begun searching desperately for the microphone. I find the bulky desktop microphone on its side behind one of the monitors and hand it to him.

“Have any idea what the password is?” I ask. The way he stares at the microphone makes it pretty clear he doesn't.

“...The message is to Top Gun,” he says slowly. “Not Wolf, or Lupus, or Jake...”

“Maybe try--”

“Princess!” Jake says into the microphone before Estela can finish. Galatea tips her head like a confused puppy, and smiles again.

“...Password accepted. Playing message for...Top Gun. ...The Hydra is a myth. Look for the triumvirate. Crassus has betrayed Caesar and Pompey. ...JAKE!” The sudden emotion in Galatea's voice makes us all jump. Even weirder is that her face suddenly shifts from Stepford Wife to genuinely looking scared.

“Alodia?!” Jake cries, trembling. Just as quickly as it came on, the genuine emotion is gone, replaced by the Stepford smile, and text-to-speech voice.

“The roots of the great tree run deep. My father was not alone...” Galatea's expression starts to distort, her mouth twisting into a grimace. I swear I can see tears in her CG eyes. “...It hurts...”

“Princess!” Jake grabs the monitor, shaking it in frustration. “Alodia! Can you hear me?! Answer me!”

“Jake!” Estela and I pounce, dragging him off the console.

“What's happening?! What the fuck is happening?! Is that her?!”

“Calm down!” I order sharply. “Give me a chance to figure it out, will ya?! Iris, I'm gonna need to get take that hard drive back with us, see if we can't work out what this message actually is!”

“In the meantime,” Estela says, firmly taking hold of Jake and slinging his arm over her shoulders, “we're going to get you out of here.”

Jake looks back at the screen. “...No...”

“Jake, listen to me. Even if that is somehow her, she isn't physically here. And if she were here, she'd agree with me that you're hurt and you need to be taken care of.”

“...Jake...” Galatea whimpers. “...I love you...”

I feel myself tense. I just know that's gonna send Jake into a frenzy again. But to my surprise, he just dissolves into quiet sobs. He seems to have lost his will to fight, because he allows Estela to lead him away without any further fight.

I turn to glare at the computer screen. “Okay, Galatea, you CGI bitch. You're going to give up your secrets to me one way or another. Because as far as I am concerned right now, whoever sent you can go to hell.”

[lust-kth]

BTS Reaction: When He Confesses His Feelings

Pairing: BTS x Reader

Warnings: None

Genre: 100% PURE FLUFF

A/N: This is my first reaction and I am trying to write as often as I can. So I do hope y’all enjoy and stay tuned for my next post! 

Kim Seokjin

He’s usually a confident man whenever he does anything. But when it comes to you, he’s a whole mess. His long-time crush on you has gotten to the point where he can’t be without you anymore. One night when he walks you home after a night out with your friends, you can’t help but notice he’s quieter than usual and it makes you worried.

“Jin? Are you okay? You haven’t said much all evening and I’m worried something is up.”

“Ah I’m okay y/n, it’s nothing really. No need to worry about me.”

He gave you a quick smile before looking back down on the ground but you grabbed his wrist and he was taken aback by your sudden action.

“I’ve known you since we were teenagers so I know when you’re lying. Please tell me the truth Kim Seokjin.”

The use of his full name made him sigh and he looked deep into your eyes then cupped your cheek, making you blush unintentionally.

“You really want to know y/n? I’m in love with you. I know I shouldn’t because our friendship could be ruined and I don’t want that. But I thought it was time you knew.”

He dropped his hand from your face when you bit your lip, feeling stupid you didn’t see it from the beginning but then you laughed, confusing him.

“Damn it Jin, that’s all it was? Well then, I think I should tell my truth as well…I’m also in love with you.”

His eyes widened and he grabbed your hands, the biggest smile etched across his face. He couldn’t believe it, he finally got the girl he’s loved for so long.

Min Yoongi

Meeting Yoongi was a total coincidence. You met while you were looking for equipment to work on your music and he happened to be at the same store you were, both of you looking for the same launchpad since you were both rising producers, which became a great conversation starter. Flash-forward to 2 years later and you’ve been close friends since, working hard on music and you’ve been so high in demand, you two decided to work together to create your own label. In those 2 years, you developed a crush on Yoongi but never acted on your feelings because he was your friend but also your business partner and you didn’t want to ruin things. One afternoon you were finishing a sample for an artist when Yoongi knocked on the studio, letting him in and saw he brought food. 

“I bought tteokbokki for you cause I know you haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“Wow Min Yoongi, you really are very considerate of my health. My heart is melting.”

“Yeah yeah, come on eat up.

”You took the bag of food and started eating while Yoongi sat at your computer and listened to what you were working on. He nodded in approval.

“That’s coming up really nice y/n. They’re gonna love it.”

“Thanks Yoongs. And thanks for the food too, I was starving.”

“Yeah no problem…look y/n, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you and usually I don’t speak up about my feelings but I really need to get this off my chest and it may ruin our friendship but at least I know that I said it…I like you. I really like you a lot and every time you come into my studio, my whole day gets better and there’s no one else I’d be doing any this with but you.”

You stared at him, unable to believe you heard the words you’ve been wanting to hear for so long, then you scooted closer to him and laid your head on his shoulder. 

“I like you too Yoongi.”

In that moment his heart fluttered in excitement and held your hand in his. He finally had the courage to confess the love he had for you since the moment he met you.

Jung Hoseok

You and Hoseok became fast friends when you met at a dance competition. Your dance team was up against his, yet despite losing to him, you found him interesting and wanted to work with him. Your dance teams got together every week after that and the two of you choreographed all the dances, being impressed by both your skills. At this point you integrated both your teams to be one and y’all were training hard for an upcoming competition. You and Hoseok were practicing your parts while the others were resting and he watched closely to the movements you were making with your body, suddenly getting flustered. He knew he found you attractive but never acted on his feelings since you two had a good thing going on. No this time he saw how focused you were and how much effort you put into your dancing. You noticed he wasn’t going the same rhythm as you so you stopped.

“Hoseok? Everything okay?” “Oh uh yeah sorry. I just spaced out for a moment.” “Alright. Well let’s take a 10 minute break and we’ll come back to it. Mind coming with me to get more water?”

He nodded and followed you out into the hall outside where you refilled your water bottle and looked over at him, noticing he was staring at you.

“What?”

“Y/n…I think I should say this before we go back. The reason why I haven’t been able to focus is because you’re distracting me. In a good way though. I really like you and I want to take you out for dinner.”

“Really? Umm yes of course! Wow I didn’t expect this. Here I thought I was gonna be the one to ask you out.” “Wait, you were gonna ask me out? So you like me too?”

“Yup. Did I do a good job hiding it?”

“Yes you did. Alright then, I’ll pick you up at 7 tonight.”

After the two of you walked in hand in hand, your friends taking notice and gasped. 

“It’s about time you two got together!” 

Kim Namjoon

He was your college algebra tutor since you had a lot of trouble with the subject and couldn’t study by yourself. Your upperclassmen recommended him to you so you reached out to him and y’all would meet up every Tuesday and Thursday in the library. You were so intrigued by him and felt yourself falling for him every time you saw him. It was soon finals time and you were on your last study session with him before your algebra final, reviewing everything you had learned. 

“So then what would x equal in this equation?”

You worked though the problem, biting your lip and showed him your work.

“x would equal 4?”

“Umm not quite. Here let’t try again y/n.”

“I’m never gonna get this Joon. I’m gonna fail this fucking final. I know it!”

“Well if that’s what you think, then I guess I’m a bad tutor.”

“No it’s not that, it’s me. My brain sucks. Like I do get some concepts but this is really kicking my ass.”

He shook his head and rubbed your back to comfort you. The sudden contact made you blush when he smiled, showing those dimples that made your heart dance. 

“No don’t sell yourself short. You can do this, I believe in you. This is probably inappropriate right now but maybe after your math final, you’d like to join me for ice cream to celebrate you finishing up your first year of college. Maybe like a date, because I really like you y/n. From the moment you walked through those doors.”

You sat there with your mouth open a little, was this really attractive, nerdy guy really asking you out. How could you say no to him? Plus you knew you liked him too.

“Alright then, it’s a date Joon.”He mentally high-fived himself, happy he scored a date with the girl of his dreams. 

Park Jimin

You’ve been friends with Jimin since you were kids and you grew up together doing the same things. You cared about each other very much so when one day, your boyfriend of 1 and a half years decided to call it quits, calling you a cheater because you spent so much time with Jimin and you did your best to explain to him that he was just you best friend and nothing more. Unfortunately your ex didn’t see it that way and broke off you relationship with no regrets, leaving you devastated because you loved him, or so you thought. That night you cried your heart out and called Jimin over to your house since you didn’t want to be alone and he arrived within 5 minutes of calling him. 

“Oh y/n. He’s a piece of shit. He must have been really jealous and insecure to assume you were cheating on him. Forget that jerk.”

“But I loved him Jimin! I really thought he was the one.”

His heart broke for you, but it also broke for himself because he knew you would never love him the way he does. He wrapped you in his arms tightly, his face nuzzled in your hair as the familiar scent of your strawberry shampoo hit his nose and at that moment he couldn’t keep his feelings bottled anymore. 

“Y/n…I know this isn’t the right time to say this but…I like you. I like you more than a friend and when you were with this jerk, I wished it was me you stayed up late talking with, I wished it was me giving you flowers and gifts, and I wished it was me you would say I love you to.  I would treat you better than he ever did, and who else knows you more than I? So, if you want, I’ll leave.”

He released you from his arms and stood up to walk away but felt your hand wrap around his wrist. He was surprised and looked at you as you wiped your tears away. 

“Please don’t go Jiminie…look just give me some time and we’ll talk about this okay? I’m not rejecting you at all, in fact I’m glad you told me.” 

“I would never break your heart y/n. I promise you that now.”

He kisses your hand with his soft lips and lays you down so you can get some sleep, never leaving your side the rest of the day.

Kim Taehyung

Taehyung was one of your work best friends. He made your day in the office much more tolerable with his jokes and that boxy smile you loved so much. One day you sat in your cubicle, bored out of your mind with all the amount of work you had to finish before you left for the day. Your head was hurting and all you wanted to do was shove the papers in your boss’ face and walk out the door, but of course you couldn’t do that since you needed the job to eat and have a roof over your head so you put up with it. Moments later, Taehyung’s head appeared overhead and you looked up at him. 

“What can I do for you sir?”

“Eh nothing, just wanted to check in with you slick. You nearly done? It’s almost 5.”

“Pshh I wish I could say I was, I think I might have to stay over time.”

“Well I can keep you company if you want.” “Oh no Taehyung, you go enjoy your Friday night. I’ll be fine.”

He pouted, knowing you’d give into his offer with that look on his face. You sighed and gave him a warm smile in response, not having to say another word as he disappeared back into his cubicle for the remaining half hour. 5 o’clock arrived and everyone except the two of you left, your work nearly done but you still had to input the information onto your computer. Taehyung was on his phone, glancing up at you every few minutes and took in the sight of you. To him you were one of the most hard-working women he’s ever met and he felt upset you weren’t appreciated as well as you deserved. Finally after an hour and half you were finished and you looked over at Taehyung who was asleep and you felt bad he stayed more time than he needed to, but mostly thankful for him keeping you company. You looked at him a little bit longer, appreciating his facial features, especially that cute little mole on his nose and shook him gently. 

“Taehyung, time to wake up.”

“No 5 more minutes mom, I was just about to tell y/n I liked her.”

Your eyes widened in shock. Did he just say what you thought he said? Taehyung liked you? Not that there was a problem with that, you liked him just as much.

“Umm Tae? It’s me y/n.”

He jumped up instantly, realizing he said that and felt his cheeks flush red with embarrassment. He did not just confess to his crush while half asleep.

“Shit, you didn’t hear that right?”

“That you liked me? Yeah I did.”

“Fuck, I wanted to do it properly.”

“Tae, no worries. I like you too.”

“Really? So then would you like to go out with me tonight?”

“Absolutely.”

Jeon Jungkook

Jungkook was one of your online friends you met through gaming. He was the one you would play with almost every day and you grew closer as friends. You really hoped to meet him one day but you lived in different countries and you had no way to get to him. Except one day when y’all were talking on Discord, he surprised you saying he got money for his birthday and wanted to spend it on a plane ticket to go see you. You definitely wanted that more than anything so you two were quick to make plans and he arrived in your home country a month later. You picked him up at the airport and showed him around your hometown, doing everything you enjoyed. At the end of the day, the two of you went over to your place and started playing Overwatch. You couldn’t believe he was actually here playing video games next to you. When your team won a few matches, you took a break and sat on the couch with him.

“Damn if only you could stay forever. This is so much more fun.”

“I agree. Thanks for showing me around y/n. I just really wish I had more than a week with you.”

“Me too. I’m gonna be so sad when you leave.”

“Then we should really make the most of it then.” 

The rest of the week you and Jungkook were together, you mostly played video games but you also went out and enjoyed the nightlife. It was soon the day before Jungkook had to leave so that afternoon, you helped him pack as you felt tears starting to come on. 

“I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay here playing video games with me all day."

“There’s nothing more than that. You’re the only one who really understands me…I won’t find anyone else like you back home…”

“Jungkook…” 

“Y/n, I need to be honest. I’m in love with you. I have been for quite some time now and I should have said it earlier but I was afraid. Now I don’t want to leave you.”

You started crying, your feelings for him starting to come up to and you hugged him tightly. There was no way you were going to let him leave after that confession but you knew he had to go home. 

“I’m in love with you too…god this is so fucking hard.”

“I know…but I’m willing to do a long-distance relationship if you are. We’ll video chat every day and I’ll text you whenever. I don’t give a shit about the time difference. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.” 

He kissed your head softly and you held each other for as long as you could.  

[malereader-inserts]

More Than Exes

Fandom: Riverdale Pairing: Archie Andrews x Ex!Male Reader Summary: A story of loss and gain Word Count: 2282

Archie was a man of many ladies and many men.

But, amongst his many exes, there was one that he was always hung up about. Veronica was a great girlfriend and the sex banged but there was someone he longed for more, a spark he vaguely remembers and the pouring rain that puts out his blazing fire.

He longed for you.

You and he were the It couple, before Veronica, before Jason’s murder. It was a strong relationship, have their ups and downs, someone who loved him for his personality and looks because he wasn’t as ripped as he was before summer. You were his everything as he was with you. But, news travels fast that you were moving across seas and living in France, you didn’t know when you were coming back and you knew that the distance would eventually break you two apart.

“If things are still there, maybe we are meant to be, Arch,” You softly spoke, running your hand through his hair.

“I don’t want you to leave, (Y/n).”

“I know, babe, I don’t want to go.”

No one spoke of you when school started, people missed your stupid grins and loud proclamation that you adored Archie Andrews. They missed you, the ball of energy, the person that screams the loudest during a football game or clap the biggest during music performances.

Everyone just made no effort to mention you because your presence was missing, the atmosphere was quiet.

When Archie got with Veronica, most people knew it wasn’t going to last because Archie still takes a moment to look at the trophy winners cabinet to look at your smiling face, a victorious win for the water polo team. 

Archie smiled when he was with Veronica, but he grinned when he was with you.

Archie often looks to Betty and Jug’s relationship, remembering the adventures you and him would venture off to. Archie often stays awake at night remembering small details, he hides photos and love notes away from Veronica.

“You have to move on, Archie,” Betty spoke with their windows open and they spoke across.

“I miss him,”

“But, what about Veronica?”

Archie’s favourite moment with you, or at least the one that stood out to him the most. The one that repeats over and over again in his head. Was the night before you left to live across the pond, a night you last shared as a couple.

You were lying on his shoulder, the midnight moon looming over you and shining through the small parting of the curtains. Your arm was slowly coming numb as it comfortably wraps over Archie’s shoulders, at your hand was held by his hand.

His head rested on your shoulder as you both stare at the ceiling, the silence was calming as the only noise to be heard was the soft breathing that matched the occupants of the bedroom.

“With you, I’m comfortable. I know I can talk about anything or sit by your side in complete silence. You see me at my worst but only talk about my best. I can be happy about my biggest achievements, while you know my deepest insecurities. I’m comfortable with you, and you should know that means everything to me.”

Archie hums as he listens to you because you had more layers to a loud lover. He found a passionate romantic as you dance with him in the kitchen whether it was upbeat or slow, or how he was often treated to fancy meals, or how Archie found himself in a soft but full of fire kisses.

Archie knew your true insecure side, how you feel like you are not enough for him or how things might change between you two when you leave. Archie knows your likes and dislikes.

But, he also knew that you kept a list of his favourite food at each restaurant you visit, so you know what to get him when he wasn’t by your side. He knew that you keep a box of his love letters as he did with yours. 

“Some say love only feels right if you get butterflies. I say that’s bullshit. Whenever I’m with you I am calm and at peace with the world. Yes, I’m still the wild animal I’ve always been… but everything inside me is quiet and my heart is full of love. I feel like I can stop running, for once. And let me tell you: to me, that is so much better than butterflies.”

“Don’t go pouring your heart out now,” He warns, “Because I might start doing that and we may cry, and we can’t be two loved-up boys loving each other.”

You snort a laughter as Archie grins to himself.

“You fuck me up, Archibald Andrews,” Archie grimace of his full name being used but he felt your lips against his hair, “Maybe I’m scared because you mean more to me than any other person. You are everything I think about, everything I want.”

“I know,” Archie breathily spoke, “I love you.”

There was a silence, the last thing he remembers that night was him slowly falling asleep and your soft calming murmurs of love one last time.

“If I could trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday, I would.”

It had been almost a year and so months since you went. Archie was soon turning seventeen and the last time you saw him, he was sixteen with skinny arms. Archie had just got out of his court trials and the expose of the underground fight club had let Archie breathe a little.

But, when he had Veronica by his side, his mind wandered if his situation was different if you were around. There would be no obsession between the father and daughter of the Lodge household, Archie wouldn’t be in a hot mess.

“You know, I think you should break things with Veronica,” Jughead suggested as Archie hung around at the trailer, surrounded by Jughead and Cheryl whilst Betty distracted Veronica for a best friend day out.

“I agree,” Cheryl nodded, “You’re not you anymore, Archie, especially without him.”

“I don’t want to hurt Veronica-”

“You’re hurting her more if you don’t break things with her, it’s obvious that you’re still in love with (Y/n), either break up with Veronica or move on,” Jughead advised as Cheryl tightens her smile and nods.

“I haven’t seen you more in love with anyone else but him,” Cheryl continues, “It’s obvious that you guys are meant to be.”

“I just feel lost without him-” Archie sighs, “You know, I often think would everything be different if he just didn’t go.”

“Of course,” Cheryl spoke, as she watched Archie slump in the chair and stare at the fire, “You know, this is just one small test of your love when he comes home maybe everything was just there, just how you left it.”

“You’re just looking for something you and him had in Veronica, and if you keep doing that you’ll burn out,” Jughead advised, shrugging his shoulders, “V is great but you know she’s not the one.”

“But-”

“Do you love (Y/n)?” Cheryl interrupted.

“Well, of course,”

“And how do you know?”

Archie looks at her, his eyebrows furrowed together confused for a moment because he wasn’t thinking when he was speaking, Cheryl and Jughead knew he spoke from the heart when he had you in his mind. Whilst he had Veronica fooled for thinking all his loves songs are for her, it was the soulmate across the waters.

“Because my soul knew him far longer than I have. All I know is I’ve never felt anything this deep. I know that whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

Veronica never thought that there will be the day that Archie Andrews would break up with her. Hiram Lodge vowed to ruin the Andrews boy because no man should walk on earth that dares to hurt his mija.

Archie felt relieved, some sort of weight was lifted off his shoulders as he told his dad about it, his dad looked at him before nodding. Fred Andrews knows his boy and knows love. If his son was able to get his happy ending then he’s going to encourage him because he never did get his happy ending.

Archie had a fresh breathe of air as he was welcomed to school on Monday, the news travelling fast in the grounds. Many of his teammates teased him, congratulating him for being single, some hinted if he was going to find you again.

Everyone knew that there was no better pair than you and him, you were his anchor, his biggest fan, his best friend, you more than his boyfriend. He was more than your boyfriend, best friend and another half. 

People call them soulmates, you two were lucky to stumble into each other’s lives early on. Was love young? Absolutely. Was love foolish? With every fibre it was. But, lovers know love and you wouldn’t trade it for any other.

Veronica and Archie remind friends, or at least civil as they could be. But, Veronica couldn’t help noticing how much Archie smiled more, or how he joked often, she noticed how he continued to make love songs without her in his life.

Veronica knew Archie didn’t love her like she loved him and that broke her.

Veronica was smart, she was a tough cookie, but it pained her to find out that her friends and cheerleader gang all knew that relationship was going to sink.

No one told her why.

It had been a month since Archie and Veronica broke up.

Tensions were there but there was nothing that they could do. Christmas had past and there were the harsh winters. January was often the hardest time, with the severe snow and unrelenting cold, it was almost impossible to function. 

Archie, Veronica, Betty and Jughead walk down the hallway together, behind them they heard gasps and quickly hushed murmurs. Betty looked over her shoulder before jugging on Jughead’s hand, they both twirl around with grins on their faces.

“Archie?”

Archie stopped at his tracks as he spun on his heels, facing someone he had longed for. Archie made a step forward as Veronica looked confused, behind her friends. Her eyes gazed on you, she found nothing special about you but Archie?

Oh, how he could barely breathe, but oh when you had smiled everything had realigned for him. The world made perfect sense to him, the skies were blue and the warmth radiated from you.

When your (e/c) stare at his brown eyes, you had fallen in love with him once again. You use to think brown eyes were uninteresting until you gazed upon his and you suddenly realized all the potential brown held, you saw houses, books, playgrounds, forests, river beds and hiking trails. Your future flash before you in shades of brown.

The feeling was still there as if days, weeks, months had passed was nothing. A familiar spark that Archie craved and that excitement course through him. Your soft gentle eyes held adoration for your lover, you craved for his touch, his hugs and electrifying kisses.

“(Y/n)?” Archie breathes out, afraid it was one sadistic dream.

Everyone watched, just two lovesick boys standing in the hallway, it was one cliché plotline - Jughead would agree. But, this was the only couple that they truly cared for because everyone some take decades to find their other half, but you two were rare high school sweethearts.

“I’m home, mi amour.”

Archie bolted into a sprint as you laughed, catching him into your stronghold. Archie breaking the hug, touching your face making sure you wouldn’t disappear through his fingertips.

“You’re home?”

“I don’t think you can get rid of me for a long time, Archie. I’m staying and the next time I leave, I’m having you by my side.”

Archie beams, a smile that Veronica has never seen, as she watched Archie smashes his lips onto yours. The hallway erupt to claps and cheers as she watched two lovers reunite, a grinning kiss that held desperation and love, something she could never achieve with Archie.

She watched how Kevin and Josie cheer, Kevin breaking out the phone to update the whole town of the lovers’ long-awaited reunion. Reggie was cheering the loudest, praising that his favourite couple was back on. Cheryl and Toni beaming happily as Betty hugs Jughead closer. Veronica looks at Jughead, who was softly grinning at his best friend.

Veronica looked at her ex and his apparent ex-boyfriend.

“I never stood a chance did I?” Veronica questioned to Jughead.

Jughead rips his attention to Veronica, her shoulders deflated as she wished that she was in your place, but she didn’t know the story of you and Archie, she didn’t know what it was like watching your relationship bloom and how painfully obvious that Archie Andrews and (Y/n) (L/n) was going to get married in the future.

“(Y/n), he’s different, he’s all Archie ever needed and wanted.” Jughead spoke softly, “There’s nothing comparable with their love.”

“What’s so good about (Y/n)?”

“It’s not what’s so good about (Y/n), it’s what’s so good about them. They bring equal love, passion and grace…”

Veronica looked at him confused as Jughead turns his attention to his best friend and his boyfriend, he smiles gently at Veronica.

“They find home within each other, no matter how long they’ve been separated or how different things have changed. Love is where home has blossomed, things just haven’t changed. So, no. You never stood a chance.”

“Oh.”

“Some exes are more than exes, they’re best friends, biggest fans, and ultimately soulmates.”

[shirayuki-wisteria]

I’ll Accept All Your Flaws If You Accept Mine

Zenyuki Week, Day Six: Insecurities

Title: I’ll Accept All Your Flaws If You Accept Mine

Cotillion Arc Part III

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing in this fan-fiction except my horrible grammar and writing skills. All the characters or cities mentioned in this fan-fiction belong to Akiduki Sorata unless said otherwise. Any references to real people or places are purely coincidental.

Synopsis: The Cotillion Ball is happening presently, and Shirayuki starts to become plagued with doubts. What if she embarrasses Zen and everyone realises that she’s had a commoner upbringing? What if a noblewoman proves to be everything she isn’t?

What if Zen realises she isn’t good enough?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Shirayuki put the finishing touches on her outfit—a hair ornament that had a counterfeit yura shigure replica on it. She pinned it tightly into her bun. Together, her outfit looked flawless—a almost-all-red dress specially made for her that came in at her waist and flowed out elegantly from her hips onto the floor. The neckline was, in plain terms, a bunched-up circular twine of fluff that resembled a thin sown-on muffler. Two white streams of seems went from below her neckline to the hem of her dress, light purple thread sown into them to form a beautiful purple-and-white pattern. Everything from the waist up to the neckline was like a semi-corset, fitting around her waist seamlessly, the yellow gossamers subtending to the white seams. To top it all off, at the cuffs of her dress, a dark-purple, velvety drapery fell gracefully onto her wrists, covering most of her hands.

She suddenly heard a knock on the door. It must be time to go!

When she opened it, there stood all of Zen’s aides and her best friends; Kiki, Mitsuhide, and Obi.

Surprise showed clearly on her face. “You all are here!”

Obi nodded. “Yep, we sure are! We were ordered to escort you to a specific section of the ball reserved only for the royal family. Master’s waiting for you as we speak.”

“Shall we take our leave, then?” Kiki asked politely after Obi finished speaking.

The young redhead gave a small nod. “We shall!”

They started on their way to the ball, making small talk as they did so.

“As always, you look nothing short of beautiful, Mi’lady,” The ex-assassin complimented her.

She smiled back at him. “Thank you, but the credit should go to the wonderful maids Zen assigned to help me with the Cotillion. I couldn’t have done it without them.”

“So, Shirayuki, how do you feel about being Zen’s date?” Mitsuhide asked seriously as they turned into another hallway.

“Honestly?” She asked rhetorically. “Very nervous. I’ve never been to a Cotillion before.”

Kiki gave her a slight smile. “Zen was so happy when he told us that you were his date to the ball. We just knew that he’d man up and finally push your relationship forward.”

A tinge of a blush appeared on Shirayuki’s face. “I-I’m happy he did so, too. I’m just worried I’ll do something wrong…”

“You want to know what Zen said after he told us?” Mitsuhide asked oratorically. “He said that he was glad you two were finally taking matching footsteps in the same direction. For a while now, the two of you have had to deviate from your normal paths, you to Lilias and Zen to the Northern Checkpoint, and as a result, been at a standstill. It’s nice to see you two haven’t stopped wanting to be at the other’s side.”

Before she could answer him, the foursome abruptly stopped in front of a door. They were now at the door to the ball!

Obi opened the door before standing beside it. “After you, Mistress.”

She gave a small curtsy to him. “Thank you, my good sir.”

The party of four all let out a soft chuckle at this zany exchange before Shirayuki stepped into the room and waved goodbye to them. “See you all later!”

“Will do,” Kiki said in response.

“Have a wonderful time!” Mitsuhide replied next.

“Be sure to give me all the mushy details later!” Obi last, but not least, responded with. “I need something to tease Master with!”

She shook her head as another chuckle escaped her lips, turning her back on them and making her way towards the ballroom floor. She heard the door click shut behind her as she stopped and looked around for any sign of platinum-blonde hair.

Where could he be…?

A lock of silver hair caught her eye as she surveyed the room. There he is!

When she focused on him, she realised that he was at a table, talking to an elderly noble and who she assumed was his daughter. When Zen caught sight of her, he waved her over to them with a smile on his face. She happily obliged.

“Shirayuki!” Zen said warmly when she arrived at their table. “Won’t you come sit with us?”

“Yes, please do,” The noblewoman replied curtly.

Zen quickly introduced the noblewoman as Malory de Fauré, daughter to Felix de Fauré. Malory wore a beautifully designed black frock that flowed down to brush her heels, seemingly hugging her every curve. The cuffs of her dress were cut off about her wrists, flowing loosely onto her hands. Gold bands encircled her elbows, gold thread lining her square neckline. Two gold seams came out from her hips, coming together to form one seam as it stopped at the hem. To complete the outfit, a black necklace—no doubt containing her family crest—encircled her neck. The darkness of her outfit contrasted nicely with her blonde hair, matching her dark, black, beady eyes.

The young redhead had taken the last open seat, which coincidently was right next to hers. “So, what should we talk about?”

“We were talking about how great it is that Prince Zen was made the ruler of the North,” The noblewoman responded, “but I guess we can move on to another topic.”

“How about how great this ball is?” Zen suggested. “The food is nothing short of exquisite, and the prep team who decorated this ballroom did a magnificent job!”

Shirayuki nodded in agreement. “They did an outstanding job doing so.”

“Well, of course, they did!” The noblewoman stated. “This is the Cotillion Ball, you know. They wouldn’t hesitate to pull out all the stops to make sure it’s nothing short of breath-taking!”

“Right…” The herbalist murmured back, her gaze moving to the floor as annoyance started to brew in her eyes. Must she be so conceited?

“Anyhow, what are we doing here, talking?” The Second Prince asked half-heartedly in an effort to save the conversation. “We should be out there, dancing!”

Everyone nodded in agreement. “Let’s go!”

The two girls went to the dance floor, accompanied by Zen, but the elderly nobleman had to stay behind since his feet were hurting.

“Prince Zen, may I dance with you?” The lady asked sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

The silverette gave her a slight smile. “Sorry, but I already planned to have my first dance with Shirayuki. You’re welcome to wait if you’d like.”

The blonde gave an almost unaidable huff before pivoting on her heel and taking a seat nearby, her eyes glaring at the young redhead. She turned to the musicians and whispered something to the main one and he nodded at her request.

“Do you think she’s angry?” Shirayuki whispered quietly to him as she put on hand on his shoulder, the other one clutching his hand.

“I dunno,” Zen said indifferently before shrugging, placing his free hand on her waist.

Try as she might, Shirayuki’s movements were not graceful in the least. Though she never stepped on his toes, she couldn’t fully understand the rhythm of the song being played, so she was off-beat quite a few times. Zen tried his best to make her seem graceful, but she wasn’t giving him much to work off.

The song finally ended, along with their dance. She gave Zen an apologetic look. “Sorry I didn’t do too well…”

He waved her off. “It’s all right. We’ve never practised with a fast-beat tempo like this, so I can’t expect you to know how to. You tried your best.”

Shirayuki opened her mouth to say something, but Malory walked up and interrupted her. “What was that?! You have the coordination of a blind bat!”

The blonde woman grabbed Zen’s hand, pulling him to the dance floor. “I’ll show you how it’s done!”

The silverette, unable to do anything but allow himself to be dragged, gave the herbalist a contrite look. The music soon started playing and the two began to dance. True to her nature, the noblewoman elegantly twirled and pranced about to the measure, giving no trouble at all to Zen. In fact, after a minute or so, he looked like he was beginning to enjoy himself. Quite unlike how he was when he danced with me…

She felt as if the measure would never end, but it finally did. When they both came back to her, Malory gave her a smug look that seemed to say, “See? I totally did better than you!”

“Would you two like to go receive our plates now?” Zen asked, clearly sensing the tension and wanting to break it. After they all agreed, they strode over to the refreshments table and help themselves to extravagant food. Upon seeing the heap stacked onto Shirayuki’s plate, Malory gave her a sharp look of disapproval. Her own plate only held two varieties of food while Shirayuki’s held a little bit of everything.

To try and remedy this, the redhead tried to eat as a lady would but made a mistake.  Instead of using the Dessert fork for her dessert, she mistakenly chose the Fruit salad fork for her use.

The noblewoman couldn’t be happier to jump on any mistake she made. “That’s a Fruit salad fork, not a Dessert fork!”

Shirayuki stopped midway in what she was doing. “Oh, right! I chose the wrong one! My deepest apologies!” She ruefully blushed as she fumbled about for the Dessert fork before plunging it into her slice of vanilla-and-chocolate cake.

Mr. Fauré just gave a slight chuckle. “It’s quite all right; it happens to the best of us.”

“It’s still not ladylike,” Malory hissed under her breath, just loud enough for only the redhead to hear.

“And neither is acting so arrogant,” Shirayuki muttered under her own breath. She didn’t realise that what she said was heard by anyone until a glass was knocked over, spilling its contents all over her pretty dress. The drink, unfortunately, was a thick mixture of certain fruits, so it slid down her dress when she stood to wipe it off.

“Sorry!” Malory said apologetically, but the look of triumph in her eyes proved otherwise. “I didn’t mean to knock it over; I’m just clumsy!”

Tears began to brim in the unfortunate redhead’s eyes. “Yeah, I bet!” She ran out of the ballroom as fast as she could, ignoring the stares of everyone around her. She didn’t stop until she couldn’t run anymore, ultimately ending up in a secluded hallway. She was leaning against a wall.

Where am I? She thought as she looked around. As far as she could tell, this hallway hasn’t been used for a while. That’s just fine with me!

She sank onto the floor, covering her face with her hands as she cried. She heard her own sobs being echoed back to her due to the great acoustics of the palace.

“Are you all right?” She heard an unfamiliar voice ask uncertainly.

She turned around to the direction of the voice. “W-Who are you?”

She had originally thought that this hallway was a secluded part of the castle, due to the lack of activity, but perhaps she had been wrong. What exactly is within this hallway, anyhow?

“I’m Harut--Haru,” The blonde woman hesitantly answered, seeming to stutter on her own name.

“O-Okay, Haru,” The young redhead tried the name out with a hiccup, “I’m Shirayuki.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Shirayuki,” Haru said sweetly, “but I don’t believe you’ve answered my question.”

“Oh!” Shirayuki said as it dawned on her. “For the most part, I’m all right. Just a bad night, I suppose.”

“May I help you?” The blonde lady asked tentatively. “I’m not sure why a beautiful woman in a dress would be crying in an abandoned hallway, but I’d like to at least be of assistance.”

“That’d be nice,” She said after a moment, letting her help her up.

“My room is just around the corner,” Haru informed her, taking her arm in hers as she helped her down the hallway.

Now that the herbalist was close enough to survey her, she realised that the woman had hair so blonde, it appeared almost white as it cascaded down her back, and blue eyes so light blue, they appeared semi-grey. The frock she wore was a simple, light-blue frock that loosely—but gracefully—fell to her shoes. She’s so pretty!

“Here we are,” The blonde lady said after they had stopped at a door. She turned the knob and twisted it open before assisting the redhead inside. She shut the door behind them when they were both inside.

Shirayuki’s mouth was open in awe as she looked around the room. “Room” wasn’t the best word to describe it; “apartment” would fare much better. Her bed was much bigger than she, having a semi-rooftop constructed into it. Beautiful paintings covered the walls, making the room seem lively. The space of her room was a magnificence all on its own; it was practically twice the size of her our apartment. Who is this woman?!

The woman quickly directed her to the bed, insisting she take a seat. “Please wait right here as I go to get a few supplies to help clean you up.”

The young redhead did as she was told, sitting patiently on the bed as she waited for her. Her eyes surveyed the room some more as she did so. A specific portrait caught her eye; it was a portrait of the woman and an unfamiliar man. The woman was painted younger in the depiction, but there was no mistaking her. The man beside her was a blonde, same as she, but his hair was a bright blonde; he also wore his hair in a ponytail since it was so long. His eyes were a piercing blue as well, but his were a dark-sapphire blue. Looking at Haru smiling up at the man, it suddenly dawned on her that this was the woman’s true love.

I wonder what happened to him?

“Sorry for the long wait!” Haru apologised as she came out and went towards her. “I have everything we need!”

She began using a soft cloth to gently wipe away her cosmetics. “Would you like to talk about why you’re upset?”

Shirayuki hesitated for a moment but decided to come clean. “I went to this party for nobles with someone I really liked, and another girl kept trying to show me up in everything we did to prove she was a better match for him than I. She got so sick of me that she spilt her drink on me and claimed it was an accident. I ran out of the ballroom before she could put salt in the wound.”

The blonde lady let out a gasp. “That’s terrible! Ladies ought to not behave that way, especially when confronted with issues concerning a potential love interest!”

“I wish she felt the same way,” The red-haired herbalist admitted exasperatedly. “I’ve tried to understand her, but it seems like she’s only out to hurt me. I’m afraid that by her proving she’s better at everything I’m not good at, he may want to be with her instead.”

“Don’t fret over it,” The kind woman said as she put the cloth down and began unfastening her hair to brush. “Women like that make fools out of themselves when they to make fools out of their competition. If your love interest is the least bit smart, he’ll realise she’s nothing good for him.”

“The thing is… he has a higher status than me, and as such, needs someone who will look good by his side. I’m afraid that he’ll realise I’m not good enough and want someone more ladylike,” She admitted sadly as she felt tears begin to brim in her eyes once more.

“If that’s the case, then why would he be with you? It’s because he cares about what you are, rather than who you are.” The kind words warmed her heart.

Shirayuki smiled. “Thank you, but how are you so knowledgeable about things like that?”

Haru stopped midway in what she was doing—brushing her hair—before taking a seat next to her. “When I was young, I met a certain man who had a… status as well. He didn’t care that I was a commoner and he wasn’t; he cared about me, not about what our statuses were. I wanted to be with him, but I knew that if I wanted to be by his side, I’ll need to have the status to afford that. I applied to be a lady-in-waiting and managed to get accepted. After working hard for more than a year, we were finally able to get together when I received a noble rank. That was the happiest day of my life.”

She motioned towards the portrait. “We had that drawn on that very day, not wanting to lose a single moment. Even after he passed, I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” The redhead said solemnly.

“Don’t be,” The blonde lady said before jumping up from the bed. “I have two sons because of that love, and I don’t regret a single moment of any of it. Neither should you.”

A smile formed on Shirayuki’s lips. “I won’t. Like you, I’m trying to get the necessary rank to be by my love’s side without hurting his reputation by working hard. I hope that someday I’ll be proud enough to be by his side without any doubts.”

Haru gave her a wide smile. “That’s the spirit! Whoever you’re in love with is a lucky man, indeed. If he leaves you for that charlatan, he ought to go find a doctor to heal him.”

They both laughed, neither of them any longer sad. Happiness showed clearly in both of their eyes. Suddenly, they heard voices talking outside of their room.

“You’re positive that you saw her come in here?” A familiar voice asked.

“Yes, with a blonde woman,” Someone else said.

The door was opened in one twist, and standing before them was Zen.

He let out a relieved sigh as he caught sight of Shirayuki, but his eyes widened as he stared at Haru. “M-Mother?!”

[jaimistoryteller]

Team DoubleOh Fic Masterlist

Since commenting earns points and not everyone has read every bodies already posted fics, here is a list beneath the cut of those posted before the Fest begins. That way we have an easy way to pick/go to our team mates fics and comment or rec to our hearts contents

Organized by writer

List of Writers:

amottledrose (thebookworm214), beaubete, brookebond, Castillon02, Gwyllion, hippoprima, Iambid (Flantastic), IAmVengeance (Venstar),  JaimiStoryTeller, opalescentgold, sunaddicted, timetospy

amottledrose (thebookworm214)

Been Waiting My Whole Life (For Someone Like You) - Q takes independent IT contracts and James works as a security guard. All Q wants to do is start over in London after time working abroad, but he never could have imagined he would meet a blond, ex-Navy officer with a sense of humor and a ridiculously cute pet lizard.

Snapshots - James Bond and Q- perfect for each other even if they don't always know it.

00Q Jukebox - Music inspires many to write, and that's what it's done here. Each chapter will be the title of a song that in some way influences the content of the chapter. The story will be a series of short stories and one-shots featuring everyone's favorite Quartermaster/Agent. Some might be AUs, some might be angsty, others will be so high on crack/humor that hopefully you cry from laughing. All of them are inspired by the songs that give each chapter its name.

Unplanned - A glimpse into Q's mind, someone who never planned on ever loving anyone.

Double-Oh Doctor - It's dangerous to work in R and D, especially when things catch on fire.

Be The One You Bleed - Set back in Medieval England, James Bond takes the throne after his parents die, but there's more danger in his court than even he suspects. During the celebration of his coronation, a young traveler arrives: a strange man with pale skin named Q...

We Fell - An RP about Q, the angel tasked with guarding MI6, and Bond, the spy who loves him.

What's Said in the Silences - James and Alec are ex SAS who now work at a bakery in Oxford. Bond is struggling to adjust to civilian life after a career ending injury retired him from duty. Little does he know that he will soon meet a young bookshop owner, the enigmatic and curious Q.

Smile - His favorite memory of Q

Holiday Memory - It's James and Q's first real Christmas together since they began dating, and the agent is slowly remembering something that he'd forgotten a long time ago, buried under loss and pain.

Strangers on a Train - Two strangers meet on a train. Sometimes it's just as simple as that.

Happy Holidays - Q is feeling a bit like the grinch with all the holiday cheer, but James can fix that.

You Are Beautiful - After years of being together through missions and strife, James and Q are finally getting married! The big day is not without its struggles, particularly since both men are nervous about the actual event.

The Way of the Glamping - Q surprises Bond in Japan. Bond surprises Q in return.

Leavin' on a Jet Plane - James returns from a mission gone wrong and discovers something about Q.

In sickness and in health - In light of recent events here in the US, we decided that we needed a fic of James taking care of a sick Q. And that turned into all sorts of fluff :)

Kitten Q comes out to play - BDSM pet play James/Q/Alec

Pop Goes the Weasel - Memorials for fallen agents are typically somber affairs. Then James Bond gets up to speak.

Hand Talk - What better way to welcome James home than with unexpected sex?

My Fault - It was never going to be. It never could be.

Unrequited - Q knows falling in love with James Bond won't be good, but it doesn't stop him trying.

Longing - It's hard when you've been left behind. It's even harder when you blame yourself.

Second Chance - Dreams

My Skin the Colour of your Eyes - Eve sets up James and Q, not knowing about their soul mate marks.

A Kiss and a Good Scotch - James has to rescue the Quartermaster after he's kidnapped. But there's more to him than what appears on the surface.

The Hacker and the Hit Men - (I Am) Q is an up and coming hacker (and a Submissive), living next to married Doms James and Alec. When Q stumbles on something he shouldn't have seen, he has to go to his neighbors for protecti

Caring Goes Both Ways - (I Am) Set after "The Hacker and the Hit Men" Q wants to help James and Alec with their work, and he learns quickly that his Doms have a penchant for getting intro trouble.

Migraine (Prequel) - (Retirement Bliss?) Q sometimes suffer migraines from his long hours in front of his screens. He usually pushes through them. Set before the main events of the rest of the series.

The Tummy - (Retirement Bliss?) James and Q are retired now, and James is feeling self conscious.

Lazy Afternoons - (Retirement Bliss?) Cuddling on the sofa is a nearly daily activity now.

Mad Scientist - (Retirement Bliss?) Q likes to tinker...

Bail - (Retirement Bliss?) Just because they've left MI6 doesn't mean they've left the memories behind.

Gardening - (Retirement Bliss?) Everyone has to have a hobby.

Kitten - (Retirement Bliss?) Turing is getting older, so he needs a companion.

Chores - (Retirement Bliss?) Arguing over chores and picking up

Dancing - (Retirement Bliss?) Q discovers a secret James has been hiding for quite a while.

Touch - (Retirement Bliss?) Timetospy's headcanon of how James and Q comfort each other. It looks like a hug but it means so much more.

Strays - (Retirement Bliss?) James is something of an animal whisperer. Q thinks it's hilarious.

Watch Over Me - (Retirement Bliss?) All this time and James still can't properly believe that Q is really his.

Contemplation - (Retirement Bliss?) ames isn't he only one contemplating old age. Q does too.

Constellations - (Retirement Bliss?) James loves stargazing, but Q is easily distracted.

beaubete

The Witches of MI6 - An old spell made in a youthful temper, an old sea witch managing in a new era, alone and broken. Old and new clash together within MI6.

Skuld - Dread is knowing a man will hold your heart in his palm before you meet him.

Within Me - “I need it.” / Here, Q could play coy. He could pretend not to know what Bond means. He could be cruel, could mock Bond his obvious weakness. Instead he hums thoughtfully, considering. “Yes,” Q agrees. “You do."

2016 LDWS fics! - (ficlets and drabbles ) A collection of six drabbles from the 00Q Last Drabble Writer Standing 2016.1 - genre: canon; theme: game; 100 words / 2 - prompt: "bet you didn't expect this"; 200-250 words / 3 - genre: AU; prompt: trope role reversal; 300 words / 4 - prompt: fantasy; 150 words / 5 - genre: historical AU; prompt: trouble; 250 words / 6 - prompt: trust; 300 words

Prompts and Bites  - (ficlets and drabbles ) A collection of all of the prompt fic and fic bites that are too short to be on their own but long enough to archive.

In the Shadow of the Forest - (Here, There be Dragons) - Written for the 00Q Reverse Bang 2015/2016! / Sent to the edge of the world to look for dragons no one believes in, Sir Bond finds something.

A Year And A Day - (Here, There be Dragons) - Bond has lived with his dragon for a year now. A long, chaste year.

In Memoria Res - Memory is a tricky business. / After Franz's machine, the cup of Bond's mind becomes a sieve.

Only Style - Q takes the job because it's a ridiculous fluff job with an even more ridiculous salary. Things only get more bizarre from there.

Hands-On Approach - What if the scene in the ski lift had gone differently?Spoiler-tastic, obviously. [Noncon Warning]

[...and tons of other stories, because beaubete has 77 posted Bond fics! -Cas ]

brookebond

Control - What else was he meant to do when he got caught? {DARK FIC}

Exposure - Bond is a photographer. Q is a model. What more do you need to know? (There is lace involved.)

Tangled Hearts - Nothing's ever easy when you work an almost 24/7 job, have a department to run, a boyfriend, and a cat to feed. Then there's the ever unruly 007.

No Accounting for Taste - Even though soulmates were common, James had been content without knowing who his was. He was happily married to Anne, the loveliest person he had ever encountered. She put up with all his bullshit and they were expecting a child. Things don't always go to plan though, and when complications arise during birth, James may just end up on his own after all.

Say yes? - (Diamonds are Forever) It’s Christmas Day, Q’s favourite day of the year, and Bond is nervous as fuck. He wakes Q up at 6am and Q is drowsy, half asleep when Bond starts asking questions.

Mr & Mr Bond - (Diamonds are Forever) Q and James get married.

Free to a Good Home - (Diamonds are Forever) Q has had enough of Bond's shit and puts flyers up in Q-Branch.

Another One Bites the Dust - (Diamonds are Forever) Bond has lost something rather important.

Castillon02

If I Had a Functional Pancreas I Could Love You - Q fears that revealing his diabetes will make Bond think less of him. Bond surprises him. (Fluffy just-established relationship fic.)

Pre-flight Jitters - Q experiences some flying anxiety and Bond offers him a (chemical) solution. Fluffy ficlet.

Wild Nights Should Be Our Luxury - Q decides that he and Bond should start having sex. Bond avoids choking to death on cannelloni

Luminous Beings Are We - In an effort to persuade Q to accept him and his feelings, Bond learns the way of the nerd and creates a special Halloween cosplay.

No Cock Tuesdays - Bond, Q, and Madeleine are snowed in and anticipating some hot OT3 sex. Only one problem: Bond’s cock is not cooperating.

And I laid me down with a will - Bond knows where he wants Q to be when the world ends. He finds him at Q Branch instead. (Written for the h/c prompt "World Explosion.")

Rubbish Flirts - Bond and Q’s first sexy weekend together ends with a bit of practical domesticity.

Post-coital Breakfast - Bond convinces Q that he had only the purest of motives when he snuck downstairs to make French toast on the morning after.

Tanner's Mission - Tanner goes on a mission to thwart his arms-dealing doppelgänger. Bond goes undercover and tries out a new form of transportation.

In the Office - Q makes a mess of Mallory in his own office; Mallory enjoys the hell out of it.

A Case of Good Etiquette  - Having recently moved into Q's house, Bond returns from a mission to find that his first welcome home has gone a wee bit awry.

Waiting for Spectre - Fills for MI6 Cafe prompts on Tumblr, written pre- and post-Spectre. Chapter eleven: Felix helps Bond on a mission; Bond wins a bet. James/Felix ficlet

It is not the wine that makes us drunk - Bond, Moneypenny, and Tanner take Q out for drinks to celebrate the end of a very long day. Fluff ensues, including Q's glasses getting passed around like a party favor and Bond having an honorable intention.

Q Branch Professionalism - Q finds his staff acting inappropriately.

Exit, Pursued by a Bear - One of Bond's targets tries to hide in the wilderness.

The Trick is Slick Code - Bond decides to woo Q in a way that Q will surely understand--with technology! Meanwhile, Q strongly suspects that Bond just wants a new Aston or something

First Cat to Feed - (Cats to Feed) The story of how Q, with a little help from Bond, acquires a cat after Skyfall.

Worth Killing - (Bond Women Loving Women) Camille finds out that Mr. Greene’s boss has a daughter working with Medecins Sans Frontieres in Bolivia. She pays Doctor Swann a visit, hoping to find leverage and discovering something else.

For Want of a Moneypenny - (Bond Women Loving Women) Moneypenny changes the course of events on Silva’s island. Séverine lives.

Sparks in Six Saloon - (Bond Women Loving Women) Moneypenny helps out a woman who’s gotten on the wrong side of Mr. Greene. Old West AU.

Due Donne a Roma - (Bond Women Loving Women) MI6 and Lucia Sciarra both need the Spectre goons in Rome to go away. They work out a deal that involves Moneypenny.

Acceptable Loss - (Bond Women Loving Women) Field agent recruit Moneypenny starts dating Fields and learns a hard lesson.

A Conversation in Heaven - (Bond Women Loving Women) In the afterlife, Vesper asks Severine an important question.

Motivation - (Bond Women Loving Women) Yusef’s captors instruct Vesper to make a drop in Bolivia. Camille gets curious about why someone from the British treasury would walk into a known criminal hang-out.

Table for Two - (Bond Women Loving Women) The Treasury sends Vesper to Macau; the people who hold Vesper’s leash send her to meet Séverine.

A Question of Commitment - (Bond Women Loving Women) Back before Ms. Dowar had been an MP, she’d asked M to call her “Claire.”

Gwyllion

Five O'clock in the Morning - Written for the 2017 00Q Last Drabble Writer Standing.

Hello Weekend - Written for the 2017 00Q Last Drabble Writer Standing. Prompt: Transform, genre-fluff, Fibonacci number sentence per paragraph construction.

Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fire - Written for the 2017 00Q Last Drabble Writer Standing. Prompt: AU “I must be dreaming.”

Sputter - Written for the 2017 00Q Last Drabble Writer Standing. Prompt: Bright.

Nothing Gold Can Stay - Eve goes on holiday alone and picks out the perfect Secret Santa gift for Q.

2020 - Written for the 2016 007 fest Last Drabble Writer Standing. Prompt: Dare hurt/comfort

My Little Finger - Written for the 2016 007 fest Last Drabble Writer Standing. Prompt: Dialogue only

My Heart Will Go On - Written for the 2016 007 fest Last Drabble Writer Standing. / Prompt: Fusion “I expect you to die.”

Big Spoon - Written for the 2016 007 fest Last Drabble Writer Standing.

Prompt: wager. First word beginning with "M." Second word beginning with "I." Last word must be "six."

Blackbird - James Bond didn’t need anything or anyone. He had already lost the war that circumstance had waged against him. When his affection for Q flared, he got the love he never had, and the home he never knew he was missing.

Baby - Written for alby mangroves’ Lip Service – the Panfandom Commentfest.

hippoprima

Give and Take - Q wants and gives all that he could (exploding tech, hidden feelings, secret fears). Then he realized he should just take instead because Bond was more than happy to give.

A Bit of Supernatural in Your Life - Daemons are supernatural manifestations to meet human desires and expectations and MI6 decides to summon a couple of them to join its employment roster, such as one for protection, one to replace a lost Quartermaster. Bond's inextricably stuck dealing with them for better or for worse because that's how his luck is.

Iambid (Flantastic)

Le Beau Garçon - Bond comes home from a mission to Q.

Oh, Won't You Be My Valentine? - Q has a crush and asks Bond to help him out.

Completely Plastered - After a mission in Bruges goes horribly wrong, Bond finds himself confined to Medical. / In which Bond is a bloody awful patient, Eve is a crafty cow, Tanner is oblivious and Q has some wonderful ideas about how to relieve a 00's boredom.

Never Fearful - In a post-apocalyptic world where technology is a thing of the past and magic runs riot; James Bond, a warrior cleric of the Palace of Vauxhall, is the ultimate fighter.  / Will his bone-deep hatred of magic prevent him from protecting House Emisyx’s last, best hope for peace? And what is the deal with the kid with the goggles anyway?

Beholder - Bond's own concept of beauty.

One More Bruise - It’s been eleven hours since M changed the status of field agent 007, Commander James Bond, from ‘Active’ to ‘Missing in Action’.

Silence Is Golden - James Bond is a porn star who's been in the business for years. Q is the newcomer who's been drafted in as his co-star.

La Rata - Fourteen years ago James Bond lied to the man he loves and now that lie has come back to haunt him. / As the time approaches for him to confess what he did, he thinks back to the events that led to them meeting

Blacktail - When M loses patience with the way that James Bond conducts himself while out on missions she thinks she has the ideal solution. She has no idea she's about to change the agent's life forever.

All I Am - Finally falling into bed together after months of flirting, Q has a confession to make. Q seems to think his secret might scare Bond away. Bond thinks all his Christmases have come at once.

The Birthday Girl - When Eve Moneypenny’s birthday celebrations go wrong there's one man she can rely on to make everything better - her friend, Bill Tanner.

Breathe With Me - When James Bond goes back to MI6 following his disastrous relationship with Dr Madeleine Swann, Q wants nothing to do with him. / Then there's an accident in Q-Branch...

Lumos - Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry holds its secrets well.  Born six months after the famous battle in which Voldemort was defeated, James Bond is just weeks away from leaving the school when he stumbles across an unusual portrait of a young man.  Who was the mysterious ‘Q’ and why does James get the feeling that the painting is in terrible danger?

The Valentine Dinner - Bill's determined to make Eve a lovely dinner for Valentine's day. Unfortunately things don't go exactly as planned...

The Glastonbury Sprite and the London Spy - A chance encounter at the Glastonbury Festival leads to a passionate relationship between James Bond and Thomas “Q” Holt. / When James's true identity is suddenly revealed and it abruptly ends their relationship, James realises that he is in love and he will do everything he can to try to prove it to Q. Even if that means digging into his twin brother’s past.

Kissing It All Better - James visits a poorly Q.

2017 Last Drabble Writer Standing - A little collection of drabbles which I wrote for this year's competition over on MI6-Cafe's page on tumblr.

This Is Our Beginning, Coming To An End - (Devotion) Following the aviation accident which killed his family, Q uses a wheelchair. Fiercely independent, this is the story of how he fell in love and the three times he allowed James Bond to carry him.

I'm Right Where I Belong - (Devotion) After four years together, Q and James are as happy as they have ever been. This is never more evident than on a rare day off spent together. Although the dark repercussions of their employment are never far away, even the quietest day can be filled with surprises.

Dress Up In Dreams - (Devotion) James and Q's lives are turned upside-down when a kidnap plot sees them both taken, hundreds of miles apart. For Q it's a battle of wits and survival. For James, it's as much a fight against his own demons as the people who take him. [rape/non-con]

The Evening Shift - (Devotion) James Bond, from three different perspectives.

All Of Our Ghosts And Secrets - (Devotion) Following on from the events of Dress Up In Dreams, James and Q's relationship is struggling but a terrible injury turns out to be a blessing in disguise as they are thrust into a series of life or death events.

Grabbed By The Ghoulies - (Halloween Fun) Q takes dressing up for Hallowe'en far too seriously...

That's Just Wizard - (Halloween Fun0.) Just what did happen in that deserted office?

The Assumption - (The Surprises) Unbonded Alpha James Bond would lead a pretty solitary life if it wasn't for his Beta friend Q. They get on well and Q always knows the best restaurants. However James soon learns that Q is full of surprises...

The Homecoming - (The Surprises) What was supposed to be a straightforward covert op for the alpha James Bond turned into an extended, deep undercover mission.  Almost six months after leaving England he returns to London and the omega he was forced to leave behind; his beloved Q. / He thinks he’ll surprise Q by turning up unannounced in the middle of the night. As it turns out, Q has a much bigger surprise waiting for him...

The Arrival - (The Surprises)  It’s been a hectic time for alpha James Bond since returning home and finding out that his omega Q is expecting twins.  On leave from field work, James has spent his days trying to make up for lost time by being as close to his mate as possible and learning all he can about the intricacies of giving birth.  Unfortunately all his training hasn’t quite prepared him for things not going quite according to plan…

The Nanny - (The Surprises)  Three gorgeous pups and James and Q are still surprising each other.

IAmVengeance (Venstar)

The Subterranean God of MI-6  - The mind of a God is never still, even when it’s forgotten what it once was… Q flickered between himself and Hades on the way home, the riders in his train giving him wary looks and space, something about him now unsettled them. The kindly grandparents pulled their purses and coats close around them. The large youths pushed their earphones further into their ears, trying to lose themselves in the sound of their music. Small children peeped shyly out at him from over their parents shoulders. Those same parents would glance back and then quickly pull their children down to face away. Q kept his head down as he exited the tube station and made his way to the entrance to his building, bypassing the elevator and running up the stairs, where he finally stumbled through his doorway.

Getting A Word In - Some days, Q is so busy that James feels like he just can’t get a word in. Maybe it’s just the right word in or maybe it’s the right place.

Just Checking - You can’t have it both ways, much less three. I’m either a Wizard, or I’m...

Ping! - Old people and technology. Somehow 007 had accidentally group texted him and 006. There’s an attachment included and being curious in his little soul, Q opened it...

Inhale, Exhale - It was supposed to be routine, simple bodyguard duty for the Quartermaster of MI-6...instead it ended in a series of mistakes.

A Price -Death came to me on sock footed feet, stepping softly and silently across the hall floor, for it seems that Death didn’t care to wear shoes. For the MI6-cafe challenge for October.

Just Dance - Q walks in on some agents, absolutely killing it at Just Dance 4.

Banner Graphic for rivermoon1970 - IT'S A BANNER. THAT'S MY SUMMARY. YO. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

Good King James - A short re-telling of one of my oddly favorite Christmas carols, Good King Wenceslas.

The Boffin and The Badass - a rewrite of a holiday favorite, The Holly and The Ivy. Sing along! inspired by Rigel99's pics titled "The Boffin and the Badass"

The Greatest Responsibility is to Hide the Truth... Because Superpowers Suck. - Sometimes the greatest responsibility is to hide the truth from the ones you think you know. Other times, the greatest responsibility you can have, is saving each other’s asses. Bond has a secret that he doesn’t want anyone to know, it’s what fuels his “resurrection” hobby. Okay Alec knows, but they’re besties, he was bound to find out! Q is suddenly hit with a secret that he doesn’t want anyone to know, except for his cats and Rufus the roomba, or else he could be stuck in a lab forever and not as it’s Supreme Overlord! A failed kidnap reveals what the urban hero and the supreme lab rat have in common. They must get their shit together and work as a team, for the greater good and a bit of kissing.

Memoirs of a Quartermaster - You can wish for a different beginning for your ending, but sometimes you’re not allowed that luxury. In Japan, a pair of siblings are sold by their fisherman father. One to a geisha house (okiya) and the other one, to a brothel. Along the years of training and failure, one sibling escapes from the brothel where they lived and the other is left alone, becoming indebted to their okiya. However, years later, he earns the opportunity to become a taikomoshi apprentice, with the help and support of a successful ally. While still a young man, he falls in love with The Commander, at a chance meeting. Years pass before they meet each other again...

Growing Up - Now, it wasn’t that James couldn’t remember how he passed most of his youth, it’s just that it wasn’t very pleasant. So he chose to forget, like we all do.

There's Always Cats - It used to be a lonely walk, but with the discovery of two little fluff balls, Q's valentine's day might not be spent alone.

Demons by Candlelight - if you summon it, it will come.

The Bond Letters - Q has a whole notebook filled, with private writings, all about James. James was unaware of this, until he stumbles across a small, ratty, tatty notebook that was so at odds with the pristine and crisp Quartermaster. James was never supposed to ever find it or be aware of how Q really felt, but spy is always a spy. Now James can't help but wonder what it would be like to actually be on the receiving end of something so powerful outside of the journal writings.

Summer Bucket List - bond has a list. a list of things to do that will be done. he also has a reluctant quartermaster

1000 Paper Things - there's an old Japanese legend that if you make 1000 paper cranes, you get a wish. for james, well, he only has 999 paper things. not sure if it counts but q seems to think so.

The Witches of MI6 - An old spell made in a youthful temper, an old sea witch managing in a new era, alone and broken. Old and new clash together within MI6

The Origin of R -There comes a time, when your past catches up to your future. For Adam, the future Quartermaster (although he totally doesn't know this, sssh don't tell him), this is how his meager beginnings at MI6 collided with R’s rebellious nature, and how she came to be. Desperate to escape a situation of her own making, R turns to an old hacker mate and drags him through his own worst case scenario of past meeting present...they adopt a trusty 00 agent along the way, or perhaps, he adopted them.

Mission to Invite - (Mission Transcripts) It was just supposed to be the weekly read through, followed by Tanner summarizing the bullet points to M. Unfortunately, Mallory had requested unedited copies of the most recent missions, regardless as to if they were complete. 007 and 006’s joint mission had been part of that call for transcripts.

Mission to Date - (Mission Transcripts) Another transcript review by Tanner and another job of reminding a couple of agents that the Quartermaster of MI-6 is NOT a customer service agent or a call...center...girl.

Mission to Play - (Mission Transcripts) The minions need reminding that the deadly agents are not playthings, especially the Double ohs. Alec continues to try and be helpful.

Mission to Sell - (Mission Transcripts) Q’s eyes closed and he listened to the two agents as they left the safety of the hotel room for the unknown risk of the auction. To sell, perchance to buy - ay, there’s that rub. For in that sell of death, what dreams may come? Q twisted the lines of Hamlet for his own purpose. Slowly he began to work at his bindings.

Mission to Steal - (Mission Transcripts) The minions looked around the room, there were very few of them left in the branch. There were a few other double-oh’s in the field presently, but 006 and 007's mission was the only active mission that was currently going tits up, with one of the most important and heavily guarded assets in dire straits. They looked to R and she began to give orders.

Smile - (2017 DRABBLES FOR LDWS) post-SPECTRE

The Trap - (2017 DRABBLES FOR LDWS) Demons keep the wings of angels that they kill as a prize.

Transformation - (2017 DRABBLES FOR LDWS) MI6’s ruler Queen M, sent Q, his protectors, his feline advisors and Q's true love James Bond into the future to be reborn through the power of the LEGENDARY QUANTUM OF SOLACE. Q and James can transform into the SPECIAL GUARDIANS OF MI6. They fight for love and justice, and in the name of MI6, they’ll punish you. (DON’T LOOK AT ME LOOK AWAY!!!)

When the Sky Fell - (2017 DRABBLES FOR LDWS) That which we are, we are; made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. When he is gone, I work my work, but he is still mine.

JaimiStoryTeller

Seducing Q - Bond comes to a realization that he wants his quartermaster for more than just a night and sets out to win him over.

After Seduction - Originally called Teasing, changed the title when I decided to add other drabbles to this

Stillness in Silence - (Bonds of Friendship) Doctor John Watson runs a rather unique practice, its entire purpose is to help those who are deaf or mute, either by birth, illness or trauma. Sherlock is brought to his practice by his concerned older brother after he spends months refusing to speak. Things do not go as planned or expected for any of them.

“It’s for me.” 1 -  (Bonds of Friendship) Prompt: Somebody says “it’s for me” - whether a question, statement, or demand. Have fun!

Flash Fics Set 1: 2- (Bonds of Friendship) Prompt: You get into your car one morning only to have your GPS inform you that it forgot all directions and needs your help remembering them.

Phrases Said 16 -  (Bonds of Friendship) Prompt “Have you lost your damn mind!?”

Phrases Said 19 - (Bonds of Friendship) Prompt: “I need you to pretend we’re dating…”

Bad Advice - (Bonds of Friendship) Q is in need of some advice and decides to ask his best friend for it.

Christmas Preparations - (Bonds of Friendship)  Jasper and Jim set up the flat for Jasper's first Christmas with his partners.

Different Paths - (Paths Taken) Soulmates Alec Trevelyan and James Bond find themselves at odds when Alec is given a mission that he assumes that James knows about. But they’ve both been betrayed. James’ briefing isn’t the same as Alec's. Alec’s life undercover is hard, and becomes harder once he learns his soulmate has been killed. Feelings of guilt and anger cause him to fight back against MI6 for his loss. When James turns up unexpectedly, he is shocked to find his soulmate is still alive - a soulmate who attempts to kill him and sets a chain of events into motion that he never would have expected.

Night Out - (Paths Taken) Time stamp event during Alec and Q living in Paris

Wrong Answer - (Answers Verse) Nine years is a long time to be undercover and the longer Alec's mission drags on, the harder it gets. He doesn't expect the teen he is given to actually change the course of his mission, but that's exactly what happens

Through the Ages - (Answers Verse) A series of short stories about James Bond, Alec Trevelyan, and Q over the years in the various life times. Each one is complete as is and will include which tags belong to it in the notes at the top of the story.

“It’s for me.” 5 - (Answers Verse) Prompt: Somebody says “it’s for me” - whether a question, statement, or demand. Have fun!

Deciding His Future - (Real Legends: Moments in Time) Aiden's a young adult now and its time to decide what he wants to do with his life

Interesting Person - (Real Legends: Moments in Time)  Aiden's observations lead to him meeting one of his classmates he finds interesting

Q's Gift - (Moriarty Twins) Q's twin decides to do something about his love life for their birthday, it definitely doesn't go as anyone expects.

Lost in the Echo - (Legends in the Multiverse) Alec's thoughts over the years

Diverted - (Legends in the Multiverse) What if Jon met James first instead of Alec?

Of Unicorns and Fate - A unicorn goes searching for the others of his kind, along the way he meets those who would both hurt or help him, and a most unexpected thing, he finds himself in love

Cuddles and Threats 6 - Prompt: laying in bed with each other, one whispers “I could beat the shit out of you” and the other says “I know”. Thoughts?

Around the House 19 - Prompt: Must use these words: Screwdriver. Curtains. Phone. Chair

Phrases Said 1 - Prompts: “Who crawls through someone’s window at 4 am to go for ice cream?!” and “Before you decide to murder me, let me explai n

Our Soulmates 7 Sentinel Verse 1 part 1 - Prompt: Soulmate AU

Our Soulmates 11 Sentinel Verse 1 part 2 - Prompt: Soulmate AU

opalescentgold

Sugar and Kisses - In which Q is (terrifically) bad in the kitchen, James is sweetly indulgent (with ulterior motives), and Q and James are (very much) in love.

For His Wallet - Bill doesn't know what he's done to deserve this. It's all Moneypenny's fault anyways. Christ, who has this much money?

Redamancy - If you write something on your skin, it will show up on your soulmate's skin as well. James doesn't quite fall in love over physics discussions and cheeky book quotes and coding and riddles inked onto his skin, but he comes close. And then he actually meets Q.

sunaddicted

Meow - Cats - James never was fond of them.

Tea Party For Two - "Good afternoon, Q. May I help you with your little predicament?"

Unspoken - It’s as normal as they get and they’re both fine with it: in the end, they don’t need words to profess their love.

Il Marionettista - He hadn't expected things to be the same as when he had walked out of MI6, his mind clouded by the illusion of a happily normal life and Madeleine's sweet perfume - 007 wasn't naïve: MI6 moved at a dizzyingly quick pace and those who didn't manage to keep up disappeared, promptly replaced by someone who supposedly was more competent

Shade: Blood - Q's head snapped upwards so quickly and forcefully that the protesting of his vertebrae was clearly audible and jade-green eyes burned with incredulity "What?! I don't do fieldwork"  / "This is going to be so far from fieldwork that I'm wondering whether we'll even be payed" James smirked, folding his hands behind his back so that he wouldn't give in the itching need to comfortingly pat those messy curls - somehow, he knew Q wouldn't appreciate it.

Lovers' Spat - James smiled cheekily, icy-blue eyes twinkling "Have I told you lately how adorably fluffy your hair is?

White - As James watched Q and Danny shriek like bloody children in the snow blanketing the park, courting pneumonia with childish glee, he couldn't help remembering the quote from the TV adaptation of "North and South" his lovers made him watch and think that Thornton was wrong: hell definitely wasn't snow white.

Hole In My Head - There's a hole in Q's head, where Silva used to be and that now he's trying to fill with James' presence

All About Us - “He looks delicious, doesn’t he?” Raoul smiled sweetly, his lips seductively brushing against Q’s earlobe and fingers possessively tightening onto his jutting hipbones. / [...] / “I think he needs to be gagged” Q offered quietly, leaning back in Raoul’s embrace as if to find a new position to better contemplate the way sunlight was painted over that tanned skin, stretched taught over deliciously powerful muscles.

Burning Ink - The day the youngest Quartermaster ever in the history of MI6 and the legendary 007 shook hands in front of a vaguely mocking and depressing painting by Turner, they both ignored the simmering heat burning a name on their skin. / [...] / The day a desperate young man like any other in London and an early riser jogger brushed fingers while swapping a bottle of water in the cold and humid air of a grey dawn, the surprise was so great that their paths immediately parted and left them to wander alone the city with the feeling of having let luck slip out of their hands.

Lingerie - "Wow" James couldn't prevent the three words engorged with admiration and lust from escaping his suddenly dry mouth "Wow" he praised again after uselessly and desperately gulping down nonexistent saliva: the vision offered to him truly was worthy of such honest and bare admiration.

#improper use of marshmallows - Q was bored to death, alone and sprawled on the still unmade bed, gorging himself with sickly sweet and gummy marshmallows and the tablet propped on his stomach to better watch stupidly cute cat videos

Yellow -  00QAD - Relationship

Hearts In Atlantis - "Stop frowning, mi querido, or you'll get wrinkles" Raoul ruffled Q's curls passing by, leaving a freshly baked biscuit by his elbow - a white chocolate and almonds concoction designed to uplift bad moods "You're usually not so pensive after having just woken up" he pointed out.

Bottled Happiness - "You do know that you don't need to bring me presents?" Q inquired as he caught Bond leaving a neatly wrapped package at the corner of his eyes. / 007 smirked and moved the little box in front of the boffin, who still was focused on the screen of his laptop, its light and algorithms reflected on the smudged lenses of his spectacles "I just want to show my appreciation for your hard work, Q"

Blossomed Hope - "Are you okay?" she kept asking and no, Q was not okay - very far from it. But he lied smoothly at her with a smile, not trusting his voice not to betray him if he let it out his vocal chords "You could come to dinner: James has been telling me how he misses your takeaway nights here in Q-branch"

Violet Hour - The first breath of fresh hair burned down Q's throat and he gasped, coughing and laughing with exhilaration at the same time while he spied at the horizon with half-closed eyes, the brilliance too much to stand for his pupils used to the darkness of the ocean's depths. His pale arms were thrown open up towards the sky, seafoam sliding down his wrists as if the ocean itself was having difficulties with letting its fairest child go; not that the flimsy hold would have ever been able to hold Q back, not once he managed to peel his eyelids open and the vastness of the world was forever seared in his retinas - an invisible brand of ownership.

00Q LDWS - I realised I never posted these so, here they are

Selfish Prayers - "Why do they always make them look like glorified whores?" James muttered, shivering as he remembered the late High Priest - an odious fat man that had been made leader of the Cult at the questionably venerable age of sixty-seven - thusly clothed; at least, he was thankful that the new High Priest was such a finely boned and handsome boy.

Royal Presents - Saying that James Bond wasn't a particularly big fan of Christmas would have been a pretty big understatement: he quite detested it, in fact, and tried to avoid anything to do with it - especially at work, which was the reason why he always requested to be sent out in the field, preferably in a country where Christmas wasn't celebrated.

Shattering Stars  -  James selected a piece by Rachmaninoff he knew Q was particularly fond of and tried to pretend everything was fine.

Twisted Games - "Last time Bond fucked you, the whole floor heard you" Silva tutted reproachingly, reaching over to spoon some cream into his tea. / Q merely arched an eyebrow: it wasn't as if he cared whether anyone knew about the little arrangement he had with Bond - and neither should his colleagues care, since having a sexual relationship with the agent didn't prevent him from doing his work. Anyway, it was widely known that Bond was his favourite agent: the fact that they were fucking couldn’t have changed that much people’s already malicious opinions "Jealous?" / "You don't even know where that cock has been"

Ode To The Broken - "Grow a pair, Q" 002 snarls over the comms, gritting her teeth as she scales the wall just using her pigheadedness and a huge amount of luck. / Q rolls his eyes: she could have easily used the elevator - after all, he could control it easily "Of what? Boobs?"

00qad LDWS - What it says on the tin

Feathers In My Head - (Tumblr Kink Meme) Josephine Bond. Of fucking course, Q should have bet her favourite sweater on it: the woman not only made heads turn with her natural and sensual beauty, enhanced by her colourful attires and heeled shoes, but she also conjured a nervous atmosphere with her reputation of ruthless assassin clinging to her even in the safety of MI6.

Break Time - (Tumblr Kink Meme) "I just want to know one thing" Q panted [...] "Why do we always end up having sex in my office?"

The Odd One - (Omega!Bond series) "James, you're painful to watch" / "Don't watch then" James shot back, turning on his side to have a look at his arse: he knew it looked good but instead of being plump, its cheeks were toned and firm.

One Of A Kind - (Omega!Bond series) To be honest, James had never particularly been fond of cats [...] but Q and the cats came together as a package deal and James had welcomed them all in his flat, which no more was depressingly bare.

E.T. - (Alien!Q series) "That's... a mouthful" James pointed out rather uselessly. / "You can call me Q" the other said with the poshest accent James had ever heard in his life - keeping a startled laugh from escaping his throat was quite an hard job.

Rainbow - (Alien!Q series) James had some bad mental associations with red: it was the colour of blood - freshly spilled or already drying - and of gore; it was the colour of Vesper's sundress when she had drowned under the scalding Venetian sun of an Italian summer; it was the colour of Q's skin whenever he was hurt and in pain.

Comets - (Alien!Q series) "Will you stare at him for much longer or are you dragging him home any time soon?" Eve asked, a teasing grin appearing on her lips

Octopus - (Alien!Q series) "What is it?" He inquired [...] / "It's a lifejacket: it will keep you afloat in case you fall overboard" / "Does it come in another colour?"

timetospy

Riding in Cars with Spies - (la Vie en Rose) Riding along on a test drive with James Bond is never a good idea. /  Unless it turns out to be the best idea Q has ever had.

Slippery When Wet - (la Vie en Rose) He took the last few steps to the door, paused a moment, then burst in, assuming his firing stance and scanning the room. The refrigerator door was open, and he could see someone bent over, rummaging around in the crisper. / “Oh for the love of….” / He recognised that arse. He could pick it out of a lineup, should the need arise.

Acapulco - (la Vie en Rose) Something is missing in Bond's idyllic retirement, and he can't place what it is...

Descent - (la Vie en Rose) Q had been tiptoeing around the flat on eggshells or weeks. The tragedy was that Q was still on that beach, hundreds of kilometers away, lost along the dark shore as he tread over the remains of the battered and broken bits the ocean had seen fit to throw against the sand. It hadn’t been eggshells under Q’s feet as he tried to navigate himself back to the wreck of his happiness, a sand castle that the tide had reclaimed and broken into nothingness. No, it had never been eggshells. It had been the ever-widening drifts of the remnants of his life ground into his raw soul without mercy.

I'll Be Seeing You - (la Vie en Rose) A drink. He needed a drink. Maybe it would shake something loose from the cobwebs that were his unreliable memory.

Acapulco (Reprise) - (la Vie en Rose) Madeleine frowned. She turned and re-entered the bedroom, stopping at the dresser to retrieve her mobile. As she reached for it, a small slip of paper caught her eye. It was tucked underneath the vase filled with day old flowers, a routine she had adopted in futility to inject some kind of joy into the room that had become their battleground.

Writing on the Other Side of the Wall - (Either Side Will Do, 00Q) What happens when you drop a heavy bag through your neighbor's wall? Head wounds and dinner dates, apparently.

Writing on the Wall - (Either Side Will Do, 00Q) What happens when you drop a desk through the wall of your flat? Q's about to find out...

Before My Eyes - “He must choose,” Death had said in the slow, raspy voice of wind through dead leaves. “And since you knew him in life, you are the one to give him this choice.” / Why me?” / “Because he loved you.”

Tease - It’s been a long day. Which isn’t an excuse for shouting, really, but Bond is leaning against Q’s desk, hands shoved into his pockets, which does things to the front placket of his trousers that Q would rather not be thinking about at the moment, but can’t seem to ignore, and his frustration is leaking out of his mouth.

Save Our Souls - The first time I save your life, it’s an accident.

007 Fest Ficlet Collection - The following ficlets are what I created during 007 Fest 2016. They were based on a prompt list I created - one quote for every day. The ficlets run the gamut from crack to angst to tooth-rotting fluff, so each one has a small content explanation in the notes. Fic rating is for only three or four of the 30 ficlets collected here. Most are T/M.

00Q Last Drabble Writer Standing Contest Entries - These are my entries for the 00Q LDWS contest held for 007 Fest in July 2016.

Cup cakes and anniversaries - Q makes cupcakes to celebrate, but James ruins his plans. Or does he?

For the Love of Peach Pie - After discharge from the Royal Navy in 1946, James finds himself adrift with no clear future. Hoping to find direction, he travels to America./ In which Q is a mechanic in a small Midwestern town, M runs a diner, and life still isn't as simple or peaceful as anyone would like.

A Face in the Dark - When Q suddenly vanishes, James tries everything to find him with no luck.

[prowlingthunder]

WIP Meme

So I was tagged by @badwolfgirl01 who clearly doesn’t believe me when I say I have all the projects to do. How do you put nonsense under a cut?

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Title: Deus ex machina, chapter 3 Notes: The partially-finished Chpt3 has been in my WIP for... a long time. I’ve been squinting at it for a while. Poke it once in a while. Read previous two chapters on Ao3

Eventually he got a few fake IDs that said he was a bit older than he was, which was okay because he looked it, and he started tending bar. The owner had been surprised when Desmond mixed up a drink from barely-there memories, mentioning that it had been many years since the man who'd known how to make a Bloody Templar had retired from the scene. Been kidnapped, you see, and then when he came back he'd done a bit of work and then finally gave his resignation.

He asked Aita. Aita told him, “That was you, before. But I couldn't fit into your life. I tried.”

Fandom: Harry Potter, Saint Seiya Title: A Mother’s Love, chapter 6 Notes: Crossover. Not enough to share here. It’s been stalled for years, since waaay back in my FF.net days. I don’t like to let things die, but it’s hard juggling RL and everything else. There’s been some interest shown in this recently and I’ve also found my old notes, so we’ll see where this goes.

Fandom: Harry Potter, Ronin Warriors Title: Harry Potter and the Light of the Moon, chapter 4 Notes: Crossover. Not enough of the chapter to share. See above reasons for hiatus. Unlike AML, there’s been less interest in this, but I actually like the plot for this a trifle better than AML and my notes are a bit better for this one too. I’ve been poking at it trying to resurrect it from the dead.

Fandom: Mass Effect, Gundam Wing Title: Minor Troubles Notes: Crossover, 2/6 posted on Ao3. The other chapters are slow-going but in existence, though they’re all arguing for Chapter 3 and I’m not yet comfortable sharing the hot mess with ya’ll.

Fandom: YuYu Hakusho, Ronin Warriors Title: Roses in Stained Glass Notes: Crossover, Chapter 2 in progress, Chapter 1 on Ao3. I have to do some more research and designing of the grounds, various people on the area, hammer the plot out a bit more. So far the only thing to share is a teaset, which isn’t enough to spoil you guys with.

Fandom: Outlaw Star, Gundam Wing Title: The Ripple Effect: Desert Rose Notes: Crossover, Part 1 on Ao3. I wont call it a chapter because the next part isn’t a direct continuation of what we’ve got, there doesn’t seem to be a directly-after section for the current posted in my brain. Go figure.

Fandom: Fallout 4 Title: The Devil’s Luck, Chapter 3 Notes: Chapters 1&2 on Ao3. Chapter subject to rewrite, because current writing doesn’t feel quite right.

The inside of the Memory Den was lipstick-red, the color women used to press to letters before they sent them to their sweethearts in the war. It was a shade of red that made his heart ache, just a little. His Nora had started wearing it after they had come home from Alaska, partly to draw attention away from her cheeks, partly to fit in better with the housewives who had surrounded them in Sanctuary Hills. A rather failed attempt to make nice with civilians.

Silas tried to ignore the way McCready watched him. There were a lot of questions in that blue gaze that he wasn't prepared to explain, though he thought he knew what all the questions would be if the younger soldier spoke them out loud.

The memory den? Are you sure? You know what they do in there, right?

He was sure. He had to know for sure if it worked like the rumors said it did. He had to know.

Fandom: Fallout 4 Title: Hell Hath No Fury, Chapter 17 Notes: 1-16 on Ao3. 17 is partially written but not enough to be posted, even with HHNF standards.

Fandom: Fallout 4, Fallout 3 Title: Big Town Blues Notes: Oneshot. Doesn’t yet cover enough of what I want it to cover to be considered even half-complete. Still working! RJ takes Duncan to safety, outside the Commonwealth. The only place that’s safe? Big Town.

“Awe-J and his son--”

“Duncan.”

“Awe-J and Duncan awe hungwy.”

Duncan waved a little over Mac’s shoulder. Tewwy blanched and dropped the nose of his shotgun at once, as if just noticing the child for the first time. “You’ve a child?”

“Startled the fuck out of me too,” MacCready tried, smiling as disarming as he could manage. “Didn’t know I’d made a baby until my wife gave birth to him.”

Tewwy sucked a breath, setting his shotgun down on the table while he moved to pull a pot off the fire. “Billy, you should let mayor know as soon as possible. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure your friend and his son get breakfast.”

“Save some fow me!” Biwwy cried gleefully, nearly dancing on his way back out the door. Tewwy shot a hand motion at his retreating back that Mac didn’t know.

“Ignore him. He’s always hyperactive before breakfast. Have a sit, let the little one down?” The offer sounded pretty genuine.

MacCready moved to a crouch and started unstrapping Duncan’s harness from his back. The little boy let out a whoop of delight; partly for being let loose, partly for the truly divine scent coming from Tewwy’s pan. He had to snatch him by the harness before he went and got under Tewwy’s feet. “Ma,” Duncan whined plaintively.

“It’s not ready yet.”

“He sounds hungry,” Tewwy commented. Mac winced.

“We ran out of rations yesterday.” That hurt to admit. Especially to a stranger. But MacCready wasn’t above wheedling and emotional manipulation to get food in Duncan’s belly.

“Oh my.”

Fandom: Fallout 4, Fallout 3 Working Title: Radstorm Notes: Oneshot. I don’t like the way it reads, but I haven’t quite managed a rewrite that I like yet. It’s not... floaty enough? McCready gets radsickness.

It hurt. Everything hurt. His stomach roiled, guts twisting into knots, and rolled, vomiting over the edge of the cot. He could feel his clothing cling to him, wet and sticky like the blanket, but even that had chased through his bones to leave him weak. He flopped back on his back, hip aching, and tried to find air that wasn't going to melt his lungs.

People talked, background noise of the clinic, and he listened to them and couldn't make out the words, but the sounds helped. Something cool pressed against his flesh, against his head and against his chest. Lucy tugged at his shirt. He blinked up at her, dizzy; reached to find her fingers. She brushed his hand away.

Lu-- 'm hot.

Lucy paused for several heartbeats-- too fast, much too fast, he was too hot and he had to cool down. He heard her fiddling with something. The coolness on his head was ice against a fire. He could feel it drip into his hair. "You have a fever. Don't worry. We'll fix it."

Missed you. She looked like she had when he last saw her, all kitted up to go help mungos who didn't deserve it, stained white cloth at her throat to hide an old scar. She didn't respond to him, cut his shirt down the sleeves and pulled it out from beneath him. He realized, distantly, that he wasn't wearing his scarf. She must have taken it already.

Hot, he whined, and Lu ignored him in an effort to keep working.

Fandom: Fallout 4 Title: Line-dried Laundry Notes: Oneshot, Lupercalia fic. Incomplete, needs some touch-ups. No porn, promise. Nora and her brother back during soldier-days.

"Do you know why we're here?"

Nora did, and told him as much. The rest of the men were eyeing each other in confusion.

Major Rye dipped his hand to her, offering the table.

"You're evaluating us, and our brothers, sir. You're feeding your sister a heat suppressant to ensure her heat holds off while you judge the roster as worthy or unworthy."

Hawken furrowed his brow. Opened his mouth to say something, and decided to keep his fool mouth shut.

Major Rye had a pretty face; strong features, brown eyes, tanned skin. The crinkle around his eyes was a smile. "Very good. Officer Nedved and his brother are our escorts. The four of us will be spending the next two days with your squad to ease the transition. If all goes well, we'll retire to a breed room."

Nora didn't know if it was BreedCom policy to take a whole team off duty or not. She doubted it. Especially since they were front-liners, were Army not Recon Marines, they were a pack within a pack but it wasn't so tight that they couldn't handle without a member or two...

There was something else Major Rye and Officer Nedved were here for, and it wasn't just to rope them into a heat-shack.

Fandom: Fallout 4 Working Title: N/A Notes: Demon-summoning AU, the next in Every Word a Promise - Sil at a Summoning.

[Is this one yours?] Puck asks, words a whisper of wind through his hair. It's like a caress. A part of Silas resents him for being here; a part of him is exulted. Puck is a spirit of deceptive magic, a woodland sprite for twisting, winding paths that get lost in the woods, shaded corners and cool spots where the snake will strike if someone steps. But he is trustworthy, if the words are asked correctly. He never makes a bargain he will not keep. He never offers his strength if he will not be entertained-- and the dead bring no entertainment, for Puck.

Puck is all smiles and honeyed words, a willow swaying in the wind, or the aspen, quaking, but strong enough not to come undone.

Silas can't say anything to him without seeming crazy, so he nods; this one mine.

The thing about forest-spirits, they're all trees standing alone. The woods only truly exist when they come together.

Fandom: Fallout 4 Working Title: All The Things I Didn’t Say Notes: Oneshot? Y7 fic, because Sevan needs love too. This is my... second or third rewrite of this, and I’m not sure I like it yet. Y7 contends with his human counterpart.

The few people he'd run into the Commonwealth hadn't batted an eyelash at the thought that he wasn't the true Silas King. They had greeted him as if he had been. They didn't know.

Silas King knew. He knew what he was and what he wasn't, and Y7 might have gotten the drop on him if he had been more careful, perhaps, or if Silas hadn't seemed to have been expecting him, or.. maybe a thousand other things. Maybe if the rouge coursers hadn't been in town. Maybe if he hadn't followed him down into the Vault.

Maybe.

Maybe.

He hadn't been prepared to have to outwit an unaware subject. He hadn't been prepared to have to handle Silas King in a verbal chess-match, when he had been trained to deal with him physically. Father had some sort of upset against him, which Y7 was not privy to, was not prepared to ask, and did not care to know. It wasn't his business who Father did and did not have issues with.

My son sent you, didn't he?

Fandom: Fallout 4 Working Title: N/A Notes: The one death fic for Sil I haven’t bothered to finish yet and may have to re-poke...

Last night's dinner wants to revisit him. Silas swallows it back down fiercely, ribs screaming in pain. Plants both palms on the ground beneath him and shoves, pushing himself up, gets a knee under himself. Fire sears across his chest. Bones grind, broken. The pain threatens to swallow him.

I can't die like this. Not like this. The enemy is still alive; he wont let himself die until he's dealt with them, wont lay down like a dog and let them have their play. He wont, he wont, he wont. Damned raiders.

Calculatedly, not the best plan he'd ever had. But he couldn't just let them take his men. The Minutemen trusted him, they were his subordinates, his command. Maybe them being his soldiers didn't mean the same thing, here in the future, but it meant plenty to Silas. He refused to die before he got them the keys, got them their weapons--

Fandom: Fallout: New Vegas Working Title: [Inside Pandora’s Box] Notes: Oneshot, Lupercalia fic, wolf’s perspective of waking up at Doc Mitchell‘s.

"Easy there, girl. You and your lady are safe now."

There is still pain. Pain in her chest, and Hope remembers a bullet taking her there when she'd lunged at cigarettes. She still wears the muzzle they put on her, but she cannot blame the old man for trying. Even the shamans will tie off a wolf's jaws when they or their sibling are injured. A wolf cannot help to bite, in hopes of warding away more pain.

Her sister's mind is a quiet blanket of nothing in her mind. That worry holds more pain than Hope can ever feel in her own body. She reaches out, careful, prodding at the pack-sense, but the man is not of the People, he is a stranger utterly, and Hope cannot speak to him, cannot ask him, does my sister yet live?

He'd said you and your lady. Hope does not often have much of her namesake, but she hopes.

Fandom: Fallout: New Vegas Working Title: N/A Notes: Pandora walks the Divide and bristles a lot. Will continue it as I replay more of New Vegas.

Couriers knew each other, and the Post knew them. A courier from the Legion could march into any Post in the Mojave and ask to kip down in the middle of NCR space, and not only would they get a bed and a hot meal, but they'd get a night watch too. She'd heard-- knew, in her bones-- that the same was true for couriers from the other side of the war, who had business through the Legion. The penalty for harassing or harming a courier in the Legion was death. There was a reason she had been able to walk through Nipton unscathed.

There was a reason she could walk anywhere. 

The Legion would protect her regardless of her business, and the NCR would protect her as long as her business was their business.

Fandom: Fallout 3 Working Title: Outsider Notes: Oneshot of Jay feeling homesick and a little like an alien outside the vault. 

Jay tries not to be, but he is a bleeding heart and he knows it. Still, he does not give them money. He gives them food, and water, and a change of clothes, and a map. For those who want more, Jay has given enough. For those rest who weep with joy, Jay has given them the world.

And that scares him more than he wishes to admit, because they look up with worship and admiration, or they look on him with curled lips twisted in bitter venom. He does not know these people. He does not understand them, because they are not his people.

His people do not want him.

Fandom: Fallout 3 Title: The G.O.A.T. Notes: Oneshot, going to rewrite because it’s choppy and mostly notes but I do rather love it. What it says on the tin. Likely to contain Jay/Butch porn in the rewrite.

He was given a folder and a passcode to his new quarters, and Officer Mack led him there.

Turns out, Vault 101 had a chapel. Who knew?

(Apparently the Chaplain was supposed to be celibate and chaste, according to the Vault 101 charter-- among other things on the list the Overseer had given him, not all of which sounded like good ideas-- but Jay forgot about that rule the moment the king snake decided to help him move his things and break in the new mattress.)

Fandom: Fallout 3 Working Title: (Best laid plans) Notes: Slowgrow Vault fic between Jay and Butch. We’ll see how long it takes to actually write...

The Doctor would probably kill him in the morning. But damn it, he was so tired of being referred to as Junior, as Little James; at least if he changed his hair, he couldn't look just like him.

He had been thinking about that all week, but all he could think about now was the feeling of Butch's gloved fingers working at his scalp, the echo of nothing a quiet lull. Butch had put a towel over his shoulders, but he'd had to strip down to his waist to lessen the risk of getting it on his vault-suit anyway. Butch had admitted to never dying someone's hair before, when Jay had asked.

Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Working Title: N/A Notes: The next fic in Suddenly: An Army. So far it’s mostly hand-written notes and false starts, but it is in progress. Prompto takes Ignis to meet his family.

Fandom: Gundam Wing Working Title: N/A Notes: A clonebaby genderbender AU where it’s Dad and Seven Daughters.

There were three ways to keep a secret that Nate knew.

The first was to keep it totally to yourself. That wasn't going to work for Nate, exactly, since his secret wasn't some intangible thing.

The second was to tell only one other person-- get the secret out of your system-- and then kill them. Two could keep a secret if one of them was dead. This was also not going to work for Nate, though he would happily kill anyone to keep his secret secure.

The third way was tell everyone.

Fandom: Lord of the Rings Working Title: Wolflords Notes: A fire-watch child from Gondor dreams of Elves and their wolves

Giayl had known the fable of elven-wolves. Of course he had. Maybe his family wasn’t scholars-- he and his family had been looking after the watch-fire for generations-- but the black land could be seen in the distance, and on especially calm nights, there was claim the orc-wolves could be heard. Giayl didn’t know he believed that one. He much preferred the stories of of the elves and their wolves, sunshine-gold and moon-bright silver, midnight blue dappled with stars, all long-lived and all elegant and graceful like the elves themselves. Eternal.

Fandom: Lord of the Rings: Online Working Title: Caran Dagra Notes: Imorrael’s mortal son joins the American Military. James finds unexpected friends there.

“It's from my mother,” he offered to their silence, pulling out a just-as-new piece of card parchment.

Aeglirann, son of Imorrael, she wrote in her flowing, looping script. He had been reading Elvish for enough years it was easy to decipher. Not that there was a lot of it. Take this and know you are mine.

He sat the card aside, face up, and ignored the trio as they read it. He peered back into they envelope instead, then tipped it up into his palm.

A piece of ash-wood fell into his fingers. A simple oval slice, about as big as a quarter, with a penny-length shard of blue in the center, gemstone fused to heartwood. A small hole had been punched through the wood, and the whole thing had apparently been coated in clear resin to hold color.

Fandom: Mass Effect Working Title: Star-light, Star-bright Notes: Bobby Shepard and her wolf-queen, Danica, deal with the nonsense that is their life.

But then, it was hard to love anything more than she loved Danica, the sun-gold she-wolf that she was. An Alliance wolf from a strong line, a little temperamental but bred for endurance, strength, command. A bloodline that traced itself beyond the birth of the Alliance, beyond the deaths of the last trolls, beyond, beyond, beyond. Back before time. Before space.

Before the first wolves touched minds with the first wolf-brother. Certainly before wolves ever took to wolf-sisters. But Danica had decided that Bobby was going to be hers before anything else, before the chain of command or the loyalty of a pack. Bobby belonged to Danica, and Danica belonged to Bobby.

And when they did get a pack, when they cycled through training and ended up with a team, they didn't... quite fit in, but Danica would duck her head and Bobby would salute their team leader, and they would make it work.

When the Batarians attacked while on leave, Danica glowed bright as a star in the pack sense, and Bobby glowed with her, and beneath them, around them, people rallied under instruction and discipline of a wolf and Danica and Bobby dug in their heels and decided, no more. No one else.

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Title: Black Cats and Broken Mirrors, Chapter 5 Notes: Chapters 1-4 on Ao3. All the actual words I’ve got for chapter 5 is handwritten and everything else is notes. So I’ve nothing quite to share with you for chapter five, except suffice to say, Felix is unhappy.

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Working Title: Wolfthreat Notes: This is going to need some rework and some more polishing, but overall I do like it and so I’m not anywhere near done yet. Why you gotta be frustrating, Soldier Harris? Lupercalia fic.

“Mister G!”

Giles had the good grace not to have been holding a cup of tea, this time. But his smile was wide and a little tired, and the book in front of him for once had nothing to do with demons or magic or anything like that. Not that Alexander accounted Son of None as a good book, but in a world without the Slayer, any literature at all making it's way whole and accounted for to the Hellmouth was a godsend, and comic books took their time making it around the Wolfmount.

Most places didn't want to deal with them.

Other wolfpacks didn't want to deal with them. A wolfpack living on a Hellmouth had to be considered pretty much gone, and anyone who stayed for more than a rotation wasn't considered fit for duty anywhere else, because everywhere else was tame and Sunnydale broke lesser wills to live.

Alexander had been here since he was born. So had Aurore. Neither of them were going anywhere, and if they had to teach the people coming in, that was okay too.

Fandom: Attack on Titan Working Title: N/A Notes: OCs everywhere! Because I couldn’t ever help myself :3

The girl brightens for reasons John can't fathom, except that she looks way too happy her brother is leaving. “Yes!”

Faolan then looks at him, and smiles again. “I'll keep Adam safe, okay kid? You can count on me for that.” John blinks and then nods, slowly, while Adam huffs and punches Faolan in the arm. “Ow! What was that for?”

“I don't need protection; you seem to be forgetting who had better scores!”

“So what? I still kicked your ass in hand-to-hand.”

“Titans are people-shaped, not people-sized!”

John doesn't know what any of it means, but it's not actually that reassuring.

Adam says goodbye to him again before he and Faolan are heading back to the other soldiers. When the bell tolls, the girl, Adolpha, is waving again.

“Come back soon! I'll be waiting!”

John takes the ferry back into Rose and makes his way home, and Adam's right; he doesn't really notice that Adam's not there. Adam hasn't been there for years.

Fandom: Space Pirate: Captain Harlock Working Title: N/A Notes: Logan contends with the difference between love and loyalty, and who is worth either.

The words Mom had said, clear and crisp in his childhood, had been the root of much Logan had done in his life. He had always tried to live by her words; not to never do anything he might regret, but to never regret anything he would do. Never to give his loyalty away to the first bidder-- and Mom had been big on loyalty, true, but the lesson had always struck with him the most, there in her garden.

Loyalty, Mom had said, is not love. Love is different. Love can kill you, if you let it; it can strangle those you care for. It can swallow you, and tear you apart from the inside. Which isn't to say it isn't beautiful or wonderful or precious. Love is... mistletoe. It flowers and blooms, and it only grows bigger with each passing year, so long as it has something to feed off. But mistletoe can kill you, if you eat it.

But loyalty is the most beautiful thing, because love just happens, but loyalty... Loyalty is a choice.

Logan had always loved Nami, he guessed. Like a parasite, they had just grew together. But Nami had married Ezra; Ezra, who had a stable job in the military and was moving up in the world. No one had any doubts he would make it to the top of the command bracket; he might even get a seat on the Gaia Coalition's Counsel. And Logan loved Ezra, the love of two brothers raised together, so close they might have been one person.

But he had been loyal to Ezra, too. He had never taken Nami to bed, even though he loved her. Even though he'd had his chances, every time Ezra was out on deployment. He'd longed every time he saw her that she had picked him instead, but every time he saw Ezra look at her, he just seemed so heartbreakingly happy...

Fandom: Thor Working Title: All the Little Children Notes: Lupercalia fic. Thor deals with the aftermath of Loki’s fall, sheltering his brother’s children from the wrath of their grandfather.

I could have done it.

No, Loki.

Time and time again, their father had charged the both of them with great quests, feats so impossible that they were nothing short of heroic. Feats only the princes of Asgard could accomplish. It was a hard pill to swallow, hearing his own words out of Loki's mouth. Loki, who had never debased himself so far as to say I could have. Loki, who was given impossible tasks, do not let the Giant finish the wall, and Loki who always came through for their father.

Thor failed occasionally. But nothing felt more terrible a failure than watching Loki let go of the All-Father's staff.

He couldn't save his brother.

I couldn't save mother.

The words echoed loudly through his head, sharp and full of piercing pain, his agony put to voice. But he had never called Loki mother. A sharp knocking on his chamber door jerked him from his reverie and he turned his head, blinking at it. He had talked with his father, after the Fall; Thor, listen to me, Loki was a frost giant, you did the right thing. It would not be a servant at the door, for after the conversation he had explicitly told them he would not be bothered. No courtier would risk it, would dare. He was to be alone.

I couldn't save mother. I couldn't-- I tried.

The knock repeated, more urgent.

Fandom: Overwatch Working Title: N/A Notes: McHanzo timetravel shenanigans. Because why not let them timetravel to meet kid!McCree before he’s their McCree...

There was also a frog on the third bench, complaining about the radio station. Jesse was pretending not to hear him talk. There were only two channels this far out in the middle of nowhere, and the only reason Jesse hadn’t picked country was because half of them were nursing injuries and the other half were fatigued to hell and back. New fangled rock and roll wasn’t was good as the classics, but it was still heavy on the drums and guitar riffs.

Mama had sworn by them. Lucio was just going to have to chill.

Fandom: Overwatch Working Title: N/A Notes: McSymmenji fic that’s had several false starts but I think I finally have a good one for. It’s just going to be longer than planned...

Fandom: Overwatch Working Title: N/A Notes: McHanzo Gift-fic, in progress, with a slice of bodyguard and worldbuilding. Probably wont post unless the recipient clears me to, but.

Not that Hanzo isn’t still otherwise. He is. He is the stillest thing Jesse’s ever seen, calm as a frozen pond on a bright-moon’d winter’s night. There’s no wasted movements with the man.

There aren’t many with himself, but Jesse knows when he’s lying and he’s always lying if he says he doesn’t have a flair for the dramatics. Which he does. There is a reason he keeps flash-bangs in his arsenal.

He’s American, after all. Nobody does fireworks like America.

Nobody does Hanamura like Hanzo, either. That’s why they’re here.

Though frankly, Jesse’s getting real sick of Hanamura.

Fandom: Ronin Warriors Working Title: N/A Notes: I’m thinking about a third done, honestly. There’s some more things I want to cover before I post this, even if this section feels complete save for a name.

"Arashinoumi."

Yulie's head snapped his way. "Huh?"

"That's her name. Arashinoumi."

Stormy waters, Mia noted. Like white-water rapids, or seafoam.

"Arashinoumi.." Yulie blinked again, glancing down at her. She sat primly in front of him, dark eyes looking up at him patiently. He stretched his fingers out, careful, aware enough that she wasn't a house pet or a tame dog. "Can I pet her?"

"She's waiting for your name," Torrent gentled. "She says you can pet her after."

Fandom: Ronin Warriors Title: Blood and Ashes Notes: Hariel/Arago Lupercalia fic that’s undergone several rewrites and false starts. Urgh.

“If we should be careful,” Hariel ventured, listening through Inferno’s ears to the fact that Arago had not left. “Then why are we still here?” He knew the answer, but Inferno reaffirming it would secure the knowledge. There were so many reasons.

Because a human and his wolf-brother had slain a dragon and tiger. Because one clanless samurai had slain an emperor. Because there were no properly bonded packs in Suzuran, just Bonded, scattered few and far between. Because this man had killed his blood-brother. Because the pair of them were from beyond the gates; humans from the ancestral home of humans, humans that were short-lived but burning bright. Because Inferno was a bitch, and Hariel was a bitch’s brother. Because it had to be lonely, being a pack of one.

“We want to meet them.” Inferno gave him a wolf-smile and nudged at his elbow with her nose, begging affection. He reached out and rubbed her behind the ear, where she liked it best. “They are young puppies, and they are full of curiosity. All we have to do is wait them out.” Not their tactically best plan, but she was right, and that was what mattered.

Fandom: Ronin Warriors Title: Coal Dust Notes: The next in Ink Stains On Paper, covering Ryo and his role in this world. I’ve had a bunch of false starts on this as I try to find the right way to do it, but I think I’m finally getting close.

Fandom: Ronin Warriors Title: Kagome, Kagome Notes: I need to rewrite part of the first bit, and finish the third and fourth bits. Go figure. Seiji-centric, covering a return to New York, dealing with the events of the OVA.

“Hey man, you ruined my shot!”

“My apologies.” New Yorkers, he thought, moving to the side of the alley; he pressed himself up against the wall, fingers unconsciously finding the ridges between mortar and red clay. It felt rough and filthy against his skin, catching at his clothes and hair like grasping hands, reaching to pull him in and under...

The stranger's camera flashed again and at once Seiji flung himself away from the wall, covered in goose-flesh; sharp amethyst eyes hunted the stained structure for the offending limbs.

There was nothing there to see.

“Hey.. hey man, you okay? You lost or somethin'?”

Fandom: Star Wars Working Title: Supernova Notes: Oneshot. Original Characters, Not A Canon Character In Sight, Eury deals with being a teacher and explaining what the Force is.

“The Force is in everything?”

“Everything,” he confirmed. “They are the stars, and all the space between the stars. The stars make light so we can see them, and the space between stars does not. Sometimes the space between makes stars, and they light up like other stars. And sometimes the stars go dark,” sometimes they explode. Sometimes they turned into planets. But those were things his little girl didn’t need yet. “But they’re still stars.”

“You and mommy are stars?”

“And you.” He leaned down to tap their noses, prompting a sleepy giggle. He hated having to explain it, but better she learn now than later, even if he would just likely end up teaching her again tomorrow. “You are a little star too.”

Fandom: Star Wars Working Title: Monsters in the Dark Notes: Oneshot. Original Characters, Not A Canon Character In Sight

(He remembers: You would condemn an innocent to death? You would cast yourself into the darkest of the dark, the murder of the unborn, and you would do it in the name of the Jedi? You fear the dead so much you do not know to fear the living! I refuse this, I defy it! This is an innocent, and it will live, you will protect it and it will live, Oriole, protection of the innocent is the keystone of Jedi teachings and this one you shall not break!)

(He was a Sith and the same way he would let her fears fester so she would come to him, accept his care, love, and affection, he would break her will to save his child. No matter what he had to do, no matter how Dark it made him.)

(He was a Sith. He did not fear the Dark. He thrived in it. Let any who dared to cross him try and see what monsters it made of men.)

Fandom: Star Wars: The Old Republic Working Title: N/A Notes: Oh. I forgot I had started this. Zabrak bounty hunter appears on the screen!

At least her father was with the Republic. If he'd have been on the other side of the war...

Well. Jeeri could safely say at least that they did more work for the Republic then they did for the Empire. The crews overall moral compass meant that Republic jobs spoke to the morals louder, and there was also that the Republic usually offered better pay, or at least jobs that were more or less straightforward.

Didn't mean that all jobs were Republic. The lab of horrors was a nightmare in her mind, never shaken. Sometimes Empire jobs were honest. Sometimes Empire jobs were things she would have done on her own, the Republic trying to win their war the wrong way. If she got paid for it... well.

Well. At least they didn't get caught. And her conscious was clean.

Fandom: Sword Art Online Title: This Is A Bad Plan, Chapter 4 Notes: I, uh, have notes on Chapter 4, but nothing written otherwise. Fic is a “SAO becomes real and some players read that book but tried it anyway.” Read Chapters 1-3 on Ao3

Fandom: Voltron Working Title: N/A Notes: The Keith-centric sequel to In The Wind (Or Lack Thereof). I’ve had an unfortunate number of false starts with this one, go figure... 

Fandom: Ronin Warrior, Dragon Age Working Title: Dragons Breath Notes: Crossover. I think I’m going to flat-out rewrite this.. Sequel to Sympathy for the Devil

“But if you come with Morrigan and I, who would take care of the mabari?”

Flemeth had wrapped the king in Chasind clothing, which Cailan had kept; a wrapped tunic bound together with a sash, and a loose pair of trousers.  The blue looked good on him-- not bright, but not dark either.  It managed to make him stand out less then his armor, which had probably been the point.  ...not that they did not stand out a good deal anyway, but until they figured out what Loghain had told to Fereldan, it was best they not announce that the king still lived.

A part of Alistair was selfishly glad he was alive.  Another part entirely was horribly frustrated by it.

It could have been worse.  The Darkspawn could have killed him; he wouldn't have even had the chance to give the other a proper funeral.

“Maric could come with us!”

...it was amazing that he had named the beast after their father.

Fandom: Final Fantasy X, Gundam Wing Working Title: Like Shooting Stars Notes: Crossover. Parts of this I like, and parts of this I’ll cut, but the idea is super shiny and I’m definitely running the whole way with this.

Wakka and his newfound, impetuous (but cute) Blitzball player had brought a young woman in from the surf when they had come back to the village. Yuna had saw her out of the corner of her eye during the Summoning, swathed in white, with hair lighter than Yuna's, but not nearly anything as pale as the young Blitzer's chocobo-yellow. She had watched, Yuna thought, leaning against the posts that made up the door of the Lodge, but by the time the Summoning was over and Yuna could look, the lady in white had vanished. Back inside, maybe.

The townspeople had demanded her attention, after. She hadn't been able to disappoint them, even though she had wanted desperately to rest.

She did see her again later, though, around the village fire.

Fandom: YuYu Hakusho, Naruto Working Title: Foxkids Notes: Sequel to More Precious Than Gold

Gaining custody of an orphan wasn't easy in Konoha. Kurama wasn't sure how he had thought it might be-- maybe because it should have been, because it would have been in the youkai. It would have been nothing; just his desire to pick up a child no one else cared for, scruff him and carry him back to the den. Easy.

Apparently in Konoha it required paperwork, and a large amount of it, and no small amount of Kurama's clever lies.

Fandom: Star Trek, Ronin Warriors Working Title: N/A Notes: ...I have no excuses for this that do not include a lot of things I don’t want to tell anybody. Moving on.

"Spread the word that we're not to use the torpedos, either."

That catches Spock completely flat footed. He stares at Seiji, bright-eyed and surprised, and it strikes Seiji as familiarity too. He looked so much like friends he had lost a long time. Maybe it's the shape of his face. He's not sure. It takes a moment for him to bring himself back to some semblance of control. "It is illogical not to use every weapon at our disposal." Which was Vulcanese for Spock asking why, even though he knew perfectly well why it was illogical in this situation. Bomb an enemy home world? Over a single escaped criminal? That would start a war, no questions asked.

Fandom: X-men, Ronin Warriors Working Title: Dragon Teeth Notes: Kenshin becomes a teacher at a certain school. In need of a rewrite.

Fandom: The Hobbit, Ronin Warriors Working Title: N/A Notes: The one where Seiji becomes Bilbo’s live-in house-guest after the Fell Winter and is still there when a specific wizard shows up to cause trouble.

Fandom: Gundam Wing, Invasion America, Final Fantasy X Working Title: Unlikely Notes: Relena, Auron, and Cale survive the first day of the zombie apocalypse. In theory.

“Do you know where we’re going? You seem quite lost for an earth-man…”

Talking. He’d been doing that since he woke up. Auron kind of wished he’d stop or go back to being unconscious. Certainly he’d been easier to carry. “Steenrade,” because he had figured out already that answering questions gained him some measure of quiet during the march. “The capital of the Sanq Kingdom.”

Cale-Oosha nodded. “Is that the capital of the world? I had meant to go there to meet with the king.”

“Queen,” Auron corrected. And the Queen of Sanq had once been Queen of the World, if his ventures in the local political system were correct. But that was nearly an elected position; like the Maesters. From the sound of things, the young woman hadn’t been Queen of the World in a long time.

Fandom: Gundam Wing, Naruto Working Title: N/A Notes: Shikamaru, Temari, and space colonies.

"Welcome to the outside world, Mister and Missus Nara. I see you have both arrived in civilization in one piece." At Missus Nara, Temari grinned. She produced a pair of paper from the fold of her robe and Agent Chang accepted them, breaking the seals pressed upon the first, reading it over, before then doing the same with the second. Dark eyes peered over at them when he was finished. "So you are the two they sent for the Winner job?"

Which sounded like something the Fifth Hokage would name an op, if they still let her name ops. The winner job. On paper it had struck him weird, but on paper they were going to be sent to protect important person, name undisclosed, delivered upon arrival. Now, out of Chang's mouth, it sounded like a person's name. Which... well. Okay then.

Fandom: Gundam Wing, Pacific Rim Working Title: N/A Notes: Unattached to the Hellfire universe. Dunno what I’ll do with this...

Because Catherine hated kaiju, and she hated the rangers that fought them, and she hated the mess it all caused, but No Name had carried the letter with her name on it for the last six months, the one with an attached but out-of-date photograph by at least a year, the one that had told him that she didn't have a firm address, she worked for the circus that was trying to eek out a living in these times, and make people forget the troubles of giant monsters for a little while.

She picked him out of the crowd for knife-throwing, probably to see if he would flinch. They didn't say a word to each other then, but he waited around outside the tent after her acts finished, and the first thing she did was slap him.

And then she burst into tears, and hugged him.

Fandom: Gundam Wing Working Title: N/A Notes: A GW daemon au fic I don’t know what I’ll do with...

Self-conscious, Jesse drew his hands into his sleeves a bit further, leaving the folder open on his desk. The owl whoooed. Jesse blinked. “Pardon?”

The owl's face pinched a bit, and the creature seemed to twist, becoming horribly small. The new recruit recoiled as it turned itself into something closely resembling vampire horror-stories. “Whooo are youuu?” Female tone and pitch, rolling tones that marked the owl's own accent, after a fashion. All daemon had them.

“Err... Agent Jesse.”

“Ahh. Sooo youuu are the newww boy.”

Well. Yes. But he wasn't sure why he needed to tell her that. “And you are?”

“None of youuur business.”

“Zulaykha, be polite.” The bird hmphed, even as the blond caught Jesse's attention once more. Gone was the business suit, replaced by a proper Preventer's uniform, ZERO stitched into the name placeholder.

I also have scraps/notes for:  -- Another part in my Dragon Age Every Warden Ever series called Hounds of Gray. -- Scraps for a Fallout 4 Sil introducing X6 to Sanctuary. -- Notes for a With Bundles of Forget-Me-Nots verse fic, direct sequel to In Memory -- Notes for another part of Differences -- Scraps for an Invasion America fic for Nebrija and Arzu fic, two original characters of mine. -- Scraps for an Invasion America fic for poor Briggs -- The Stan sequel fic to Aitai  -- The Hanzo/Yuuma prequel fic of Aitai -- The sequel piece of Quadrature, covering Seiji’s recovery and where Halo is -- Notes for the eight Invasion America prompts I still owe  -- A short cutesy few hundred words fic for Fallout 3 character Joan  -- Notes for the Ronin Warriors prompts I owe -- The sequels to Le Dragon, Step One, Silence is Golden, Confabulation, Here, There Be Dragons, Can’t Take You Anywhere, Lords of War, Pack and Pups (What’s Mine Is Mine)  -- The mission fic sequel to Tango Sigma -- Notes for the Hellfire series, chiefly a vs Kaiju fic -- Notes for Kaiju Blue/Titan Red, Upon the Apple Lotus, Dogtags, First Words, Instinct, Like Good Soldiers, Dirt  -- Notes and scrap for several fics inside the Teeth and Pawprints universe -- A hypothetical fic for Stars Which Never Were, as well as a potential second chapter to Of Empty Streets and Seasalt

Things I May Never Post:  -- An unfinished pre-Vault Fallout 4 A/B/O fic that feels like it needs an overhaul to be less bad porn and more world-building. -- A couple Fallout 4 fics I was writing with a soul-sister who I am currently going through a rough patch with. -- A Kingdom Hearts fic I started with a soul-brother who is no longer talking to me.

AND IN OTHER NEWS, Things Not Fanfiction:

I have twelve novels in progress, in various stages, but still. Twelve. One of them is mostly finished and will be my July Camp NaNo project. The others are in various stages of disarray and or worldbuilding.

[mveloc]

Days of Why and How

Chapter 5

Author’s Note: We finally get a little taste of Delphine's back story. Enjoy ;)

She pushes her way past the hordes of club goers, sweaty bodies slamming into her as she tries to make herself as malleable as possible in an effort to evade them. The atmosphere is thick, the lighting dark with quick flashes emanating from the dance floor and the walls nearly shaking, pulsating with loud, droning music that’s blaring over the speakers. As she makes her way deeper into the club, she’s all too aware of white eyes following her, of silver-grey hair flashing in her periphery.

This was never her scene.

She always feels uncomfortable every time she finds herself back here, but the matter is urgent and she knows that on a busy Friday night, this is where he’ll be. When she finally makes it to the unmarked door at the very back of the club, two intimidating men standing guard, she offers them a curt nod and they respond in kind, stepping aside to permit her entry. She pushes through the door and steps into the office, the temperature instantly dropping as she leaves the mugginess and noise behind.

“Delphine,” Aldous Leekie greets her from behind his desk, eyes fixed on her. “I wasn’t aware you’d be visiting tonight. I managed to catch you on the cameras. You should have called ahead—I could have had a car sent for you.”

“It’s fine,” she dismisses him.

He sizes her up with a quick scan of his eyes and she brings herself closer, stopping just in front of the large desk. He gestures for her to sit, but she declines his request and peers down at him with a furrowed brow.

“It must be serious if you’re coming all the way down here yourself. Is this about the DYAD job?” he inquires.

“Yes—and no.”

He cocks a brow, slowly rising from his desk.

“Well, now I’m intrigued,” he says calmly, pouring himself a drink from his private liquor cart. “Do share.”

Her body tenses. She wonders just how she should break the news to him, how he will react. It’s hard for her to know for certain since his feelings surrounding her ex-girlfriend have always been murky, but she hopes for the best possible outcome.

“Cosima is out,” she finally says.

She searches him for a reaction but finds none. Instead he takes a drink, tipping his head back and allowing the liquor to slide down his throat.

“Cosima?” he asks, as if the name is the liquor dancing on his tongue—subtly familiar.

She wonders if he’s toying with her; certainly he must remember Cosima. Even though it’s probably been years since he’s heard her name and he never really worked that closely with the hacker in the first place, Cosima’s downfall had been loud and violent (at least in her mind), and so it was impossible to forget or ignore.

“Oh, yes,” he finally mutters. “That’s right.”

She keeps her gaze fixed on her superior, trying to gauge his reaction. Even after the flicker of recognition in his eyes, he doesn’t seem enthused over the news she’s shared—not angry or happy or nervous or disappointed. He wears the same impervious look as usual.

“And how do we feel about that?” he asks, turning the conversation back around.

Now he’s the one regarding her curiously. They’ve grown to know each other quite well over these last five years—well enough for him to know that Cosima is, perhaps, the most defining element of her life. Taking him up on his previous offer, she drops into one of the black leather chairs adjacent to him with a visible frown.

“She never should have gone down in the first place. It was a mistake—my mistake.”

Even after all these years—after all of his coaching and everything she’s had to sacrifice—her feelings still haven’t changed; it was a grave injustice five years ago and it still remains so, perhaps even more than before now that she’s met with her former lover and had a chance to survey the emotional damage that’s been done.

“No,” he adamantly disagrees. “Involving her in any of this was the mistake. We both knew she wasn’t cut out for this line of work.”

“That doesn’t make it right,” she mutters beneath her breath, head hanging low.

He pours a second glass of bourbon and makes his way around the desk with the drink in-hand, passing it to her.

“Nothing about this is right or wrong. I thought you would have figured that out by now.”

She stares into the glass with a tightening grip.

“Don’t lecture me, Aldous.”

With that, she closes her eyes, tips her head all the way back and downs the liquor in a few long gulps.

He laughs.

“What?” she asks, confused by the suddenness of his laughter.

He shakes his head dismissively, reaching for her empty glass again to take it away.

“You sound like your father,” he explains.

She ignores his comment, shaking it off like a bad case of fleas. Suddenly emboldened, she rises to her feet again decides to get back down to business.

“We could use her on the DYAD job,” she suggests.

She knows Cosima is furious with her, that she probably wants nothing to do with her, but she also knows what she felt in that alley before her ex-lover darted away—a spark. They had both felt it. There was no doubt in her mind.

“I thought you said you were taking care of it?” Leekie counters.

“I am—and in my opinion, she would be a great asset.”

Dragging Cosima back into this may not be ideal, but how is she supposed to just ignore the fact that the only person she’s ever loved is within her grasp again? Sure, the circumstances aren’t perfect, but she’s always trusted her gut and her gut is telling her that she should stay close to Cosima, that she shouldn’t let her go again. If she had only listened to her gut in the first place instead of Leekie and his “expertise,” Cosima never would have ended up in prison and they’d be sipping cocktails on a beach somewhere far away.

“Associating with her now is too risky,” Leekie warns her. “Use the team you’ve got.”

“You told me that this job was of the utmost importance,” she argues. “Cosima is the best. Perhaps she can even tell us who hired her in the first place—knowing who we’re competing against could prove useful.”

He pauses, taking a few moments to mull over her words.

“I’ll consider it.”

She could leap for joy, but instead she maintains her composure, responding with a simple nod. She doesn’t want Leekie to think that she’s straying down the wrong path, that she’s too invested in Cosima; it had taken her so long to gain back his trust the last time and she doesn’t want him to doubt her commitment.

When she leaves the club, she finds herself lost. She usually spends her weekends wrapped up in work, but ever since Sarah and Cosima’s interference with the DYAD job, her work has been on hiatus and so she’s left with too much free time that allows her thoughts to wander.

They inevitably lead her back to Cosima.

She wonders what her ex is up to, if Cosima’s thoughts are plagued by visions of her the same way hers are; she can’t close her eyes without replaying their most recent conversation on a loop in her head. Cosima had told her to stay away and while she wishes she could, she simply finds it to be an impossible task.

It’s settled.

She finds herself pulling into the parking lot nearest to Bobby’s—a bar she hadn’t set foot in in Cosima’s five year absence. It was strange returning to it after so long; not much had changed in terms of decor or ambiance and walking in to find Sarah and Cosima together again at their usual table had thrown her for a loop. She takes a deep breath before pushing through the door for the second time in less than a week, hoping to find Cosima inside. She quickly scans her surroundings, eyes combing over the layout and finding no sign of the petite brunette. She approaches the bar, wondering if Cosima is working tonight. Her question is answered when she feels a gentle tap on her shoulder and turns around.

“She’s not here.”

Bobby greets her with a sour expression, waiting to see how the blonde will react.

“Oh,” is all she manages, deflating. “I was hoping to speak to her again. I didn’t want to leave things on such a—well—I didn’t want to leave things the way we left them.”

Bobby folds her arms over her chest, unimpressed.

“Well, you made that call a long time ago.”

Delphine sighs.

“I know that.”

She drags herself away from the judgmental bartender, ready to leave. As she makes her way to the door, she notices one of the pool tables clear out and some phantom force pulls her back in its direction.

She hasn’t played in years.

Not since Cosima.

She just didn’t see the fun in playing against amateurs anymore and after Cosima, she couldn’t look at a pool table without feeling a pang of guilt—a jutting reminder of her cowardice. She picks up a cue, twirling it in her hands as she familiarizes herself with the feel once more. She glides a hand over the surface of the table and can almost taste the gin and tonic, the tartness of a lime on her tongue.

She smiles.

“You wanna play?”

She looks up to find a rather benign-looking man reaching for the other cue, offering her a smile. She isn’t really in the mood, but she has nowhere else to be and so she caves, nodding in agreement.

She clears out about half a dozen challengers before the other patrons take a hint, steering clear of the shark in the water. She expels another sigh, running a hand through her hair and putting her cue away.

“Guess some things don’t change.”

Bobby is standing behind her again with a tray of empty glasses and beer bottles.

“Looks like you’ve been cleaning up over here,” she remarks. “How much have you made off these suckers?”

Delphine shrugs.

“Nothing.”

Bobby seems surprised by her response.

“What? You not playing the fast game anymore?”

It’s a fair question. She could have made at least a few hundred bucks off of these unsuspecting challengers and yet the thought never crossed her mind tonight. After Cosima, the thought of playing for money seemed way too… mundane. Not to mention that her current work made sharking people in bars look like amateur hour.

“I didn't come here to run a job,” Delphine mutters. “I just wanted to—”

She stops herself.

Why did she really come here tonight?

“Never mind.”

She moves to make her way past the tattooed woman but finds herself drawn in once again.

“Hey. Hold on.”

She stops, turning back around to shoot Bobby a quizzical look. The bartender looks troubled, like she’s being torn between two heavy choices. Eventually she breaks.

“If you wanna speak to her, she’s going out tonight.”

Delphine blinks.

“Out?”

“Yeah. With Sarah and Felix,” Bobby clarifies. “They invited me, but I’ve got a business to run, so…”

Delphine nods slowly.

“Do you know where?” she asks.

“Felix said he wanted to dance. Cosima said she wanted to check out someplace new,” Bobby tells her. “There’s a club that just opened up in the Village about a month ago, so that’d be my bet.”

Delphine offers her a genuine smile.

“Thank you, Bobby.”

Bobby shrugs her off.

“Don’t tell her I told you or she’ll kill me.”

+ + + + +

She miraculously manages to find street parking about half a block away the club which is already in full swing by the time she arrives. She had made a quick stop at her place first, deciding to change into something a little more appropriate for the venue. She still isn’t sure what she’s expecting, uncertain of how she should play this; should she waltz right into the club, find Cosima and attempt to initiate conversation? Cosima would most likely shoot her down, especially if Sarah and Felix are there to offer support.

She must get Cosima alone.

Does she go inside, find Cosima and hang back until she sees an opening? What if there isn’t one? What if Cosima or Sarah or Felix spot her before she spots them? Does she risk making a scene in front of all those people? Is there even a right way to do this? Delphine groans, leaning forward to rest her head on the steering wheel.

Cosima can protest all she wants, say she never wants to see her again, but Delphine knows what she felt—there’s still something between them even after all these years. She knows she’s in no position to make demands, but she has to know what it is. Even though Cosima’s erected a strong defence as a means to deter her, she also knows that her witty ex-lover has more to say and she needs to hear Cosima’s piece; no matter how detached or unaffected she acts, she knows that Cosima is hurting, that the only way she’ll ever be able to heal and move on is if she gets it all off her chest.

The blonde owes her at least that much.

Delphine lifts her head again. She steadies her breathing, deciding that this is the sort of job that can’t be planned out. She’ll have a better idea of what she’s dealing with once she gets inside and finds Cosima. She closes her eyes, collecting her thoughts and preparing to take the plunge, but the second she reaches for the handle to open the car door, she freezes.

Cosima comes spilling out of the club, arm wrapped around another woman. There’s ease in her smile, in her eyes. There’s laughter on her breath. They pull away to the side, away from the line of people waiting to get in and Cosima’s companion digs through her purse for a cigarette, lighting it. Delphine watches as the two converse playfully and she feels her heart retch, her grip on the steering wheel tightening until her knuckles are pale. Cosima leans in to whisper in the woman’s ear and they laugh even more, their smiles grow broader.

Delphine quakes.

+ + + + +

“You’ve been crying.”

She sniffles, wiping her nose on the sleeve on her shirt. She hugs her knees to her chest even tighter, pressing her forehead against them. Her eyes are red and puffy and have been for hours—ever since she learned of Cosima’s fate.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

She feels herself spiralling down, down, down the rabbit hole until she can’t make sense of who or where she is anymore. She feels hollow and yet so very full—full of rage and regret that crash against each other like waves against a cliff, carving out pieces of her. She sits motionless on the floor of her lifeless apartment, waiting for the descent to stop.

“There’s nothing more you can do, Delphine. This is out of your hands,” Leekie tells her.

His words roll around inside of her head for a minute.

“Is it?”

He stops pacing, staring down at her through narrowed slits.

“Cosima isn’t dying,” he informs her. “She’ll be out again in a matter of years—maybe sooner for good behaviour.”

She springs to her feet, fury getting the better of her.

“Her life is ruined! Don’t you care?” she screams, her eyes filling with tears once more.

His composure never falters.

“She made her choices, just as you made yours and I made mine,” he tries to rationalize. “We all knew what we were getting ourselves into when we started down this path.”

“Except she didn’t!” Delphine argues.

Her chest is heaving now, tears coming in full force.

She always knew there was risk involved, but somehow, the threat never seemed quite real until she felt the trap snap around her ankle. Even now, she’s still shellshocked—unable to make sense of just what went wrong and how it all spiralled out of control so quickly; one moment they were on top of the world, planning for their future, and the very next she was watching Cosima getting dragged away in handcuffs, their future turning to ash right before her very eyes.

“Cosima never wanted this! She—she tried to tell me so many times, but I just wouldn’t listen!” she bellows. “She wanted out because she knew something like this might happen and now here she is, suffering the consequences of my actions!”

This was her fuck up.

It didn’t seem right that Cosima should have to pay the price.

“Stop selling her short,” Leekie snaps. “She deserves more credit than that.”

He steps closer to her, placing his hands on her shoulders to steady her, to try to get his point across. He speaks to her sternly like a lecturing father.

“She isn’t some motherless doe who came wandering in for the final act. If she had really wanted out, she had plenty of opportunities to leave—but she didn’t,” he tells her. “She didn’t because she made a choice—a choice to see this through.”

She shakes her head violently.

“For me!”

Cosima had made this choice for her. She doesn't remember ever asking her to, but then, did she really have to? It was well understood from the very beginning of their relationship that they were a package deal—where one would go, the other would follow. She had led Cosima down this path with the knowledge that whatever happened, they’d be together.

Only they’re not.

“Probably,” Leekie shrugs. “But even if she made that choice for you, it was still hers to make.”

“I… I have to do something,” she says, her thoughts racing anxiously.

It can’t be too late. There has to be something she can do to fix this. She racks her brain for a solution, for some sort of scenario where they can both walk out of this together.

“There’s nothing you can do.”

Maybe he’s right.

Maybe “together” is impossible right now, but there must be some way she can help Cosima; she can’t just leave her to rot in a cell that’s meant for her.

“I could turn myself in,” she suggests, her voice weak. “I could—”

“Listen to yourself, Delphine,” he stops her. “You’re letting sentiment get the better of you. You’re smarter than this.”

She doesn’t care.

“Turning yourself in isn’t going to change anything. Throwing your life away isn’t going to help her and even if it did, do you really think that’s what she’d want?”

Maybe he’s right.

Even though she never asked her to, Cosima had taken a bullet that was meant for her. In a perfect world, she would trade herself for Cosima, but she knows that there’s no guarantee such a sacrifice would work out the way she’s hoping; after all, Leekie had promised her that Cosima would never serve a day behind bars and now here they are: all of their plans blown to shit. He was supposed to have the lawyers, the connections, but none of it made a difference in the end. “Unforeseeable factors,” he had told her; no matter how much thought and care goes into a plan, there’s never a guarantee that it’ll work out the way it’s been envisioned.

She can run through scenarios in her head until her brain exhausts itself, but there’s no way to know if any of them will play out the way she imagines them—if they’re possible realities or just hopeful delusions. She bursts into tears again, falling forward into the older man’s arms as he holds her steady.

“What do I do?”