#eventually I’m going to unfollow all spn blogs

[eileenleahyswife]

Turns out I love con weekends because they make me so angry that I become very productive irl and become temporarily normal about the show

[imbellarosa]

✨30 Questions✨

Thank you for the tag @lascitateognesperanza 🖤🖤🖤

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag blogs that you’re contractually obligated to get to know better.

Name: Bella

Gender: Female

Zodiac: Gemini

Height: 5’7

Time: 10:31 am

Favourite bands: All Time Low, The DMAs, The Goo Goo Dolls, the Marianas Trench, etc. 

Favourite solo artist: If you had asked me this question two months ago, I would have said Bob Dylan. HOWEVER! ‘Copy’ put it over the edge, it’s Louis Tomlinson

Last movie: Soul! 

Last show: I rewatched Love Victor beginning to end but I’m IN THE MIDDLE of my spn rewatch 

When did I create this blog: 2016! Wow I’ve been here FOREVER huh

What do I post: art posts, poems, supernatural, lyrics and analysis, inside jokes with friends, funny stories, etc. My blog is a mess but you name it, I’ve got it, and I’ve got it tagged hahaha 

Last think I googled: “CVS pharmacy in *city*” hahahaha I have to go pick up a perscription and I forgot the address

Why I chose my URL: it's an inside joke with myself and i’ve had it since high school, which is to say that it is my original URL 

Following: oof too many. I never really unfollow so! 

Followers: way more than I ever thought I’d have! But I love you all! 

Average hours of sleep: 6 hours, usually, 7 if I can get them

Lucky number: 28

Instruments: a bit of piano, but I’m not very good

What am I wearing: a green school T Shirt and black PJ pants! 

Dream job: really no clue, but I think something working with children, eventually. 

Dream trip: The one I’m taking this summer WAS my dream trip but it’s now a big Life Change so that doesn’t really count anymore haha - probably back to El Salvador, preferably this week. New Years there is always SUCH a celebration

Favourite food: Pupusas con curtido! 

Nationality: American

Favourite song: ooooh idk, there are SO MANY, but I think right now Only the Brave by Louis is the top one! 

Last book I read: I listen to a lot of audiobooks, do those count?? If so, the I finished ‘Anxious People’ by Fredrick Backman a bit ago and if not, then I finished The Enigma of the Return by Danny LeFerriere recently too! Both brilliant books 

Top 3 fictional universes I’d live in:

Sherlock Holmes 

Star Trek 

I’m gonna steal my friend’s answer here: “Harry Potter (don't @ me, I know JKR is a transphobic bitch but I doubt I'll ever stop feeling sappy about Hogwarts)” 

hiiii okay so if you want to do it I’m tagging @always28lou @queenlokibeth @evilovesyou @divingdreamerscurse @holyshit and anyone else who wants it! 

[allalrightagain]

A bunch of people are leaving tumblr/fandom right now, and I want to take a quick second to talk about where I’m at in that process.

I’m not going anywhere for right now. I’ll be around as much as I ever am, which is sporadically, because this is my space to step away from the real world when I can.

At some point that will change, either as I move into other interests or away from tumblr entirely. My harry potter posts have been and will continue to be tagged hp, and I’m open to tagging for anything I don’t already.

For those who are stepping away, I’ll miss seeing your urls/art/writing/etc, but I’m happy you’re doing what’s best for you.

I’ve already distanced myself from supernatural, and I plan on continuing to do so. I’m in the process of slowly unfollowing the blogs that are posting mostly/all spn— at this point the drama causes more stress than fun, and more frustration than stress to watch my whole dash disappear into the whirlwind of whatever the day’s drama is.

HP, on the other hand, has given me the space to actually write for the first time since I graduated college, and the first time I’ve had fun doing it in much longer, which on a personal level feels miraculous.

I don’t think I’ve hidden my thoughts on this but in case it hasn’t been clear, I don’t support her transphobic, racist, misogynistic, ableist, or homophobic opinions, causes, or remarks. There are a lot of problems within the books themselves, starting with bad writing and the peek into her worldview, but I do think it is possible to engage non-monetarily with the work without condoning these things.

I don’t have any specific plans to leave hp fandom right now, but I do anticipate leaving it behind eventually. I’ve got a few more stories left to tell first, and I write really slowly :)

This blog will stay around no matter what, and will continue to tag for any fandoms or requested tags.

A post script on anon hate:

Don’t do it?

Seriously if you’re showing up in anyone’s inbox to call them names or suicide bait etc, unfollow me now, this blog is not friendly to you.

[woosansang]

Salty Ask List

Do 1 to 6 (except 3 if you don't)

oof i’m gonna have to sit here with a list of my fandoms open in front of me so i can choose wisely lmaoo but thank u for asking magalie i love u <3

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

supernatural: it’s not fandom specific, but any inc*st ships i just don’t get. like people going batshit crazy about the spn finale because sam and dean touched foreheads? please that’s fucking gross, stay away from me.

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

marvel: tony x steve. i’m too much of a sucker for steve x bucky to multiship sdjfkahjldfs

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

IT: yes. but i think it was a mature response to the situation. there are some people in the IT fandom who share a very different opinion on some things to me (and many others - it’s sort of a divisive subject lol), and after seeing some posts and fanfics that made me really uncomfortable, i simply unfollowed a whole bunch of people. and i have spoken to some of them! and they are lovely people! but i have a different opinion to them on a few fandom-related things and we both clearly feel very strongly about it and some of their opinions made me feel very distressed (for whatever reason lol i try not to think about why) so i stopped interacting with their blogs. it was never about them as people, it was about their takes on a ship, and that was it. i have nothing against them as people, although others do. lmao ppl in the IT fandom probably know exactly what i’m talking about

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?

stranger things: yeah m/leven lol. i suppose i can see why people might ship them... if they’re really shallow and think teenagers kissing = soulmates but like. anyone with a brain and eyes... can see that... no?

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

star wars: i cannot believe i’m going to say this in public... actually i don’t want to lmfao i’m too much of a chicken and i don’t want people to come for me. there’s a certain pairing that i used to silently enjoy a few years ago but the fandom is crazy and i didn’t want to be seen as crazy and i sort of felt the need to distance myself from that and eventually it turned into a pairing that i resented and now i can’t stand it.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

harry potter: yeah god so many. i was a young and stupid teenager when i started reading fanfiction and living on tumblr and the hp fandom was at its peak online since the last film had just come out. and for whatever reason, back then i despised romione. i have no idea why. i was obsessed with dramione and i was reading and writing fics and and i could not understand why people shipped romione so hard. now though, as a reasonable adult, i like both lol. i’m not active in the hp fandom anymore but anything i see on my dash that’s about romione i think it’s all cute now. yay for jazzy’s character development i guess

Send me salty asks!

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

My 2019 Blog Review

Today's the last day of 2019, so I thought it would be fun to dig through my archive and reflect on my blog activity over the past year. I am doing this on my phone but once I have access to a computer again, I'll put this all under a cut. I just can't do it on my phone.

Jan 2019

- Tumblr's background color changed and apparently I'm the only one who liked the change.

- Kingdom Hearts 3 release -- of course, this was a huge thing in my blog at the time. Afterall, I'd only been waiting 15 years for this game. And while I definitely had problems with the game, it also had some very memorable moments that I loved...like Sora punching Davey Jones (I never ever want to forget that moment).

- I began my adventure of learning Japanese. I'm doing pretty good so far.

- The Mummy (Brendon Fraser) appreciation. Occamshipper apparently doesn't like these movies but I love them. I met some great people because I told occamshipper that whereas they didn't like The Mummy Returns, it is in fact one of my favorite all time movies.

- Lots of rambling about my love for Lucy Heartfilia and the Nalu ship from Fairy Tail.

Feb 2019

- BoA Appreciation. I love K-Pop and BoA is one of my all time favs.

- The Vic Micnogna scandal. Honestly, I don't really care about what's going on with the trial, what bothers me is the stain that was left on Funimation because of it. The voice actors really alienated the fanbase in this scandal and I didn't like that.

- Power Rangers appreciation. I love Power Rangers and unironically, too. My favorite power ranger is Adam from Mighty Morphin.

- Within Temptation's new Resist Album dropped and I loved it. I love these epic stories they tell with their albums and the vibes they give.

- I watched the Mythica franchise and my appreciation affair for Zombie Girl began.

- Ronon/Keller appreciation. I loved this pairing so much and I'm super sad the show never did more with them.

- Legacies Reviews. Apparently people find me funny? I have a sense of humor that people enjoy?

Mar 2019

- Emily Bett Rickards revealed she would not be on Arrow for its final season. I was really depressed a out that and I got a lot of hate from comic book fans for daring to say that I like the character of Felicity Smoak.

- Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles appreciation. One of my favorite anime/manga of all time.

- I was a victim of credit card fraud because of Creation Entertainment and then they tried to deny they were at fault despite hundreds of their customers reporting credit card fraud all at the same time. They eventually retracted their statement but because of this, I will probably never go to a Creation convention again. They're way overpriced and I certainly will not entrust my important info to them again.

Apr 2019

- Shadowhunters final season started airing and they went from irritating to just plain boring. Seriously, the season's biggest crime isn't how misogynist and racist it was, it was that it was completely nonsensical and boring for me.

- The release of Taylor Swift's and Brendon Urie's collab of ME! and I seem to be the only one that seems to legitimately love that song (even the "spelling is fun" part, RIP you beautiful lyric, alas, you were too good and pure to last in this hateful unfunny world of judgemental culture).

- The X Family appreciation. This is one of my favorite Taiwanese dramas and definitely my favorite series in the KO franchise.

- I broke up with the main SPN meta community (otherwise known as the Positive Police). We just didn't see eye-to-eye. I didn't appreciate them lording over the fandom telling people what they should and should not ship, telling people what they should and should not like...and they didn't appreciate me saying so. Lots of blocking went on and I'm still eternally sorry for the people that got blocked by these big fish because they simply liked my posts.

May 2019

- Game of Thrones crappy ending. What is there to really say about it? It was terrible and misogynist AF.

- Ezra appreciation from the Natural Oneders TFS at the Table D&D campaign. Ezra Lockwood was my favorite character and I'm not okay with how he was written out of the campaign.

- I was quite angry about Dean destroying Chuck's guitar like Dean was a 5-year-old child angry that he didn't get his way (seriously, Dean needs to be sent to time-out).

Jun 2019

- Quicksilver and Dadneto meta commentary from FOX 's X-Men franchise. So much lost potential there, unfortunately (thanks, Dark Phoenix).

- Orca appreciation. They're beautiful, majestic creatures and I love them, they might be my spirit animal.

- Someone unfollowed me because I wasn't giving enough attention to real-world problems. Essentially, I wasn't woke enough I guess. But I'm sorry, if I want to feel all righteous and justicey, I'll watch the news. Social justice and politics are not primary focuses of this blog.

- Godzilla King of Monsters was fantastic.

- Chuck TV Series appreciation. I love this show and I miss it dearly.

Jul 2019

- Veronica Mars Season 4 discourse. Essentially I hate what happened to Logan and what it means for Veronica's character moving forward.

- Played Love Island The Game and had way more fun than I probably rightfully should've had.

Aug 2019

- Re-watched Sailor Moon and then watched Sailor Moon Crystal. Both shows are so much fun. Plus, I love Sailor Jupiter. I love Jupiter's personality and her power aesthetic is badass to match her personality.

- Taylor Swift's Lover album dropped. I might be in the minority but it actually ranks pretty low on my list of Taylor Swift albums.

- Skillet's Victorious album dropped a d ot was a huge disappointment for me.

- I found watermelon to be my new favorite post-workout snack.

Sep 2019

- I watched The Untamed and I absolutely adore this show. I started watching more chinese dramas because of this show. And whereas I haven't found something I enjoyed quite as much from the chinese drama list, I've still greatly enjoyed a lit of the shows...but they still have nothing on The Untamed. The Untamed is just so good.

- Lover Fest was announced. And it was real shady the dealings that were going on with this. It actually kind of made me wary of actually wanting to see Taylor live.

Oct 2019

- I began the Korean drama, Extra-Ordinary You. I haven't finished it yet, but I plan to. I wanted to wait until the entire series was done airing. It does really interesting things with tropes and I greatly enjoy this show and can't wait to to return to it.

- Sherlolly appreciation. Rediscovered my love for the Sherlock/Molly ship from Sherlock.

-Leverage appreciation. Absolutely fantastic show. Highly recommend it.

Nov 2019

-Psych tv series appreciation. Another one of my favorite shows of all time.

- I wrote a Dean Winchester endgame meta. It was fun.

Dec 2019

- Kamen Rider Den-O appreciation. My favorite from the Kamen Rider franchise. I've been re-watching it and it's so much fun. Sato Takeru is amazing in it and the fact that this one of his first acting jobs and he's able to pull off doing so many different characters is seriously amazing.

- SPN finally brought us an angel/vessel dynamic in the form of Adam and Michael and it was amazing.

- The Jumanji re-make appreciation. I love it and The Next Level is just as good as its predecessor and I'm anxiously awaiting the next film in the franchise.

- My thoughts on why I'm single. Mainly because I'm lazy and I just don't feel like doing through all of the work involved in dating.

There you have it. That's 2019 for me. It had its ups and its downs but blog wise, I think I had a pretty good year.

[lliaq]

I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I guess it’s finally time to make some changes.

TL;DR: not purely a SPN blog anymore, ‘not spn’ tag goes away, not going to turn multifandom but you might see more animals, nature pictures and random shitposts (basically what it’s already been for a little while now), gonna be cleaning up my dash and unfollowing some people (nothing personal)

horribly long winded explanation below

A few weeks ago I opened tumblr, as one does, and scrolled for a bit and saw some spn related news and the only thing crossing my mind was “huh I really don’t care anymore” and that was kind of a bittersweet realization.

This show has been with me for literally half of my life. I started watching when I was 12 and I’m 24 now. That’ actually crazy to think about. Without getting too personal, my teenage years were pretty turbulent and SPN was the one thing that was always there, the only solid, steady thing that didn’t change - and I honestly don’t know where I would be today without it, or if I would be here at all.

You know, looking at it now it’s hilarious, but I was actually a Sam!girl in the beginning - how the times have changed. I mean I was 12 and thought he was cute lmao, but then I get older and more observant and I started seeing myself in Dean a lot more, and he’s always going to have a special place in my heart. I mean, personal feelings aside, he’s such a great and multi-faceted character. For someone who loves stories that’s always something I’m going to be drawn to.

Supernatural also taught me English. Obviously, I didn’t learn only through SPN, but it did help a great deal. I actually remember, 4x05 was the first time ever I watched something in english without german subtitles and I was so confused. I could barely keep up lol But I stuck with it and eventually got to the point where I could just watch the episodes as they aired, instead of waiting for dubs and being like 2 years behind - so hooray for that

It also led me to video editing back in the day (good ol’ windows movie maker days), and then again many years later. It inspired me to learn how to make graphics and gifs and draw. It’s given me a way to express myself through a variety of mediums, something that I’ll always be grateful for.

I actually kind of stopped watching once. Like, I was still watching, but it was more of a “it’s running in the background while I’m doing other stuff” kinda thing, you know. So I just missed a lot, but it was still there in my life, still present. I don’t remember exactly when this was, but I think it was somewhere around the end of S7/beginning of S8, and I didn’t get really back into it until early S11. I was going through a rough patch - and guess who was there, just like all the times before? Yup, SPN. So I rewatched everything from S1 and then I binge-watched convention panels and that was the first time I’d laughed in months.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to properly put into words how important this show has been for me throughout such formative years of my life, and later when I was struggling. The way I used to watch Baby when I was feeling anxious because the way it was shot made me feel like I was there in the car and it made me feel safe during a time when I didn’t even feel safe in my own home, or the way Carry on My Wayward Son hits me with a full blast of over a decade worth of emotions every time I hear the opening chords. It’s a lot of little things like that that have accumulated over the years into something beyond words.

But - things change, they always do. And look, I don’t want this getting into wank territory, but I also want to be honset. The direction that Dabb has taken the show is too far removed from what it used to be. I think he’s an okay writer, and I think he’s a bad showrunner. Those are two completely different pairs of shoes and I don’t think the second one is right for him. But that is just my opinion. At the end of the day, it is what it is, and whatever Dabb is doing - it just isn’t for me. So I’m taking a step back, maybe two.

Keeping up a blog solely dedicated to something that I’m barely interested in anymore just seems like a collosal waste of time and energy and I just don’t want to do it anymore.

As a result, I’ll no longer be tagging things as “not spn”. I will still tag other shows/movies accordingly, altough I don’t think you’ll be seeing that much of those anyway - I’m not really active in that many other fandoms. Most likely it’ll just be less Supernatural and more pictures of cute animals and scenery, shitposts and some other odd things here and there. Basically, I’m going back to what this was before SPN took over. Either way tho - if that is not your cup of tea, or if the tag change is an issue for you, feel free to unfollow me, no hard feelings And speaking of unfollowing: I’ll be doing that as well, because I just want less SPN on my dash (especially stuff that isn’t Dean). So if we’re mutuals and I unfollowed you: it’s nothing personal. I just want to be happy with the content on my dashboard again. As far as content creation goes, I’m not sure yet. Frankly, SPN has been the very opposite of inspiring for me for a while now, but we’ll see what S14 brings, I guess.

Okay, this got way longer than I intended (not that I’m surprised) but I guess it was nice to just say this all before I move on.

It’s been a wild ride, Supernatural, and you’ll always have a place in my heart, but it’s time. Thank you for everything

[sharkfish]

some words about wank-brewers

This is a post about my own wankiness, wherein I conclude that I don’t like it and don’t like to be involved, and then also talk about some wank happening lately. I recognize this is at least a little hypocritical.

When I was a young person — I would use the word “kid,” but to be accurate, I’m talking from about age 12 to beginning of my 20s — I was an asshole on the internet. There are perhaps worse words you could use to describe me, and past!me would probably deserve it.

To paint a slightly more specific picture, I belonged to an online horse-related community. It was similar to fandom tumblr in some ways: there were far more actual users than any one person could know or interact with, and many of them stayed in their own small circle, but there was a smaller group of highly-active people, and among those an even smaller group of people you might call, in fandom jargon, “Big Name Fans.”

I was one of those people. The site is pretty much defunct now, but I do know that as late as ‘17 (nearly a decade after my reign), there were people who still knew of me and my merry band of delinquents. We were Mean Girls, and I was Regina George. 

I’m being flippant, because that’s who I am, but I am not proud of this. I was a mean person. I hurt people. I stole fake money from children. I lied about almost every single aspect of my life — when people say “you never know who someone is on the internet,” they’re talking about people like past!me, who maintained a persona that bared very little resemblance to actual!me. I introduced a whole slew of young country folk to issues of queerness, fought with people about gender neutral pronouns, and was a stickler for calling out people who didn’t bother to find Creative Commons-licensed images for their edits/artwork (still stand by this btw).

And I ran a blog that was very well-known in the community, even to people who didn’t know me personally. It was a burn book. There were positive posts, too, and some of the people were in on the joke, but there were also plenty of people who were just trying to have a good time and I decided to make that difficult for them, much like the people I now frown upon for giving negative reviews of fic. Mods handed out temporary bans to me constantly, but I always talked my way out of it with admin.

I thrived on the wank of it. I was hurt by some of the meanness sent my way — though it was certainly well-deserved — but any attention was better than none. Sometimes it upset me, but I also knew what the analytics looked like on my stupid blog when I spun more drama.

I look at people like past!me now and think, “Really? This is how you want to spend your limited time and energy here on earth? Get a fuckin hobby.” Maybe I’ve forgotten that for some people, that kind of shit is their hobby.

I was — still am — a pretty sick person, both mentally and physically. I’m a mess now, but at that time I was dying to be anyone else. I was very, very sad and very, very alone. These are not excuses, but I understand now how my illnesses could’ve sent me in a direction that led to this behavior. I understand now that I wanted to feel like I mattered in some small way, even just the tiniest of craters on the surface of the world, even if my name was only said in a negative light. I had a captive audience, and it wasn’t difficult to start a witch hunt, so I did, over and over. Like, for years.

Maybe this is why I have so little tolerance for wank now. I unfollow people pretty quick if they seem to be getting their rocks off on starting shit with people they could just block or ignore. That’s no longer how I want to spend my time & energy. My current hobbies are way more fun.

I typed all those words for 2 reasons:

1) This is something I don’t talk about often because I’m ashamed of it, but it seemed like maybe eventually I should make a Statement, to myself if nothing else;

and

2) I feel like there’s a bit of a spidey sense for wank-brewers, the kind of people who stir up shit just because they like the way it smells. I know the tools & tricks of that trade. I like to think I can spot people who are being at least a little bit disingenuous in the way they present themselves and their circumstances.

@unforth-ninawaters has gotten a lot of shit lately for saying something that’s always been tickling at the back of my mind — that maybe Euclase isn’t being entirely honest or candid about the abuse she receives. For the while that I did follow her, almost every one of her posts made me go ??? because it just… does not make sense. The claims about what is happening to her don’t make sense within the context, her reactions do not make sense if the claims were true, and her supporters are rabid in a way that only starts more hurricanes of bullshit that, interestingly enough, keeps her name (and art) at the forefront of our minds (specifically the spn fandom; she seems to have a particular hard-on for us, but I have no concept of how well-known she is or isn’t in any other space).

Unforth did a pretty good job outlining some of the stuff that has always seemed off to me about The Euclase Situation that you can see in her “wank” tag, but — well, from the pov of a Former Internet Asshole, I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion that Euclase may be one of our ranks. Spinning things is easy, and it’s even easier on the internet, and even easier still when you have a platform, when people already respect you in one way (for example, your contributions to fandom via art/fic) even if they don’t know anything else about you.

I was Regina George, and then I grew up a little (let’s be real, not that much, but at least a little). The idea of hurting people is viscerally painful to me now, and the idea of wasting hours upon hours to be a “Big Name” anything is exhausting and stupid. But we all have our own journeys at our own pace. 

Lastly: I apologize on behalf of Internet Assholes everywhere for the way we may have treated you, dear reader, in the past, present, or future. You most likely didn’t deserve it and just got incidentally swept up in bullshit while we tried to counteract our own imagined or real inadequacies with name recognition. It’s not you; it’s us.

[println-archive]

warning for tumblr user epiphanct

disclaimer: most of what happened between us was on now deleted quotev/quizazz accounts and my old blog that i deactivated after getting stalked by someone irl. all the screenshots i can give are from our email conversations, but i can get some testimonies from people who knew her about how she treated me in public and what i told them at the time it all went down. 

(@stillwritinghaikus & @sadcryptid knew me and eli most of the time, but @gafou was there towards the end and can say what they were like the few times we all hung out also only contact these ppl off anon, they don’t all want to be involved too publicly but agreed to be included as character witnesses to who eli is-- there are other people but i don’t have ways to contact a lot of them because we fell out of touch over the years)

anyone who has followed me for long or knows me knows i still deal with panic attacks, issues in relationships, issues with self worth, and nightmares because of a bad ex-girlfriend.

me and eli (i think that’s what they’re going by now and i believe they use they/she pronouns now) were best friends and on-again off-again since 2013 up until some time in 2017. consistently from 2014 until 2016 (i tried to detach from them in late 2016 so we talked significantly less and i would ignore them when they got angry or anything), they emotionally abused me. 

tw for incest, daddy kink, and emotional abuse under the cut-- don’t harass her about the things regarding incest or daddy kink because most of that is from when they were 13-15, i’m only including it because its a testament to what type of person they are and something that is available in our email chains to prove. i was complicit in a lot of the incest rp/kink but at no point was i legit into it, i just never called them out on it and i went with it

we met when they were 12 almost 13 and i was 13 (i think) on our first accounts on quizazz (now quotev), a quiz and story-making website, because they spoiled fred dying for me in a post about harry potter. 

from then we started talking and eventually became best friends. things were mostly normal and healthy overall for the first year until i got into my first relationship w/ someone. they started to get possessive of my time and over me but i thought it was normal and it pretty much was especially when i found out why-- they confessed to having a crush on me. i got permission from my S.O. at the time to be poly and date both of them but eventually i dumped my S.O. for eli alone. it was around when we became exclusive (when they were 13 and i was 14) that things went from normal messy teenager dating to controlling my entire life

they would get angry when i went to sleep, saying that i had to stay up for them or giving me the silent treatment the next morning if i went to sleep when they didn’t want me to. they didn’t limit asking me to stay up to when they were unstable either, most of the time their reason was that they wanted to rp. they would snap and withhold affection from me if i went to sleep on accident or my mom took my laptop away so i would go to sleep. at some point it reached the point that i was missing days of classes in a row because i was sleep deprived and throwing up in the mornings from stress and lack of sleep. i told them this and they still didn’t stop.

they would also control what i posted on my blog or what i had my layout look like on quotev, because if they didn’t like what it was they would claim we had nothing in common and should break up or they should unfollow me or they should block me. most notably, when i made a sideblog for taylor swift posts at some point i started spending most of my time on that blog because taylor swift was a hyperfocus at the time. i switched that blog to my mainly active one and made it a multifandom with a focus on taylor swift, and they got mad at me for posting so much taylor swift. to placate her, i changed it so i only posted taylor swift in my queue and then, finally, i just ran a multifandom blog and avoided reblogging anything about taylor swift more than two or three times a week. i need to emphasize here: i never tried to make eli talk to me about taylor swift after they made it clear they didn’t like them, i didn’t talk to them about it and i didn’t require that they interact with my posts or anything. they just didn’t want me to post about my interest. this also happened with pokemon and homestuck, but to a lesser extent-- the fight was over once i changed my layout from having art for them, i was still allowed to post some.

we broke up sometime in late 2014 for good, but they still made all of my decisions. they were possessive and called me theirs, they didn’t like it when i liked girls who weren’t them, and only let me show affection for them. i was allowed on relationship other than eli, and only because they approved of her and set me up with her. in the end, we broke up because, with eli’s manipulation and forced dependence on them, i was still in love with them. then, within the month of breaking up with this girl, eli switched the script completely and would randomly go through bouts of anger where they would give me the silent treatment and vague about me for still having feelings for them.

they also made it very clear that they got to pick who i could and could not be friends with. most notably with my then best friend dani (@sadcryptid, dont message them publicly abt this). when they found out i was talking to dani in any capacity-- whether i mentioned her or posted something about her-- they would give me the silent treatment or yell at me about it extensively. this went on for YEARS (two? i think) until i ended up dropping dani for entirely unrelated reasons (we’re cool now). when, briefly after, i made friends with a girl who went by luna (who sexually harassed me so eli ended up being right but they didn’t know about that at the time), they lost their shit guilt tripping me into dropping luna too because they wanted to be my only close friend. another time my friend irl confessed to having a crush on me and eli made me talk to her less and said i was theirs

they also briefly shipped reylo and wincest, i have no idea if they still do but i know they did as long as i knew them, and shipped nico from percy jackson (a canon gay character) with their girl oc. (they had a whole breakdown when nico was confirmed gay, saying it ruined the books for them)

they also would give me the silent treatment whenever something good happened in my life-- when i got tickets for the nebraska comic con, or got to see taylor swift, they would give me the silent treatment or yell at me

they had an incest kink to the point of making up ocs to be their twin and older sister, only agreeing to human aus for michael/lucifer from spn if they were related in them (until they changed their mind to getting angry at me for suggesting them), and had a literal daddy kink-- not just into calling their partner daddy but to the point where they would propose rps where their self insert was the literal child of michael and they would have sex. 

they also liked professor/student plots, especially in harry potter with professor snape and their self inserts.

so here are the screenshots now, for your ref in the screenshots, they’ve gone by “mya”, “lottie/charlotte”, “wren”, and “matt”. they also have an oc other than the fake siblings that come up a few times named “juliet” and one named “holly” and one named “casey”. i know that the screenshots don’t have proof of everything i’ve outlined, like i said above most of it happened on accounts that have since been deleted or deactivated so i only have what i could find in my gmail.

i’ll add more screenshots as i find them

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hey you, during the course of this season i Have seen more and more people leave the fandom or grow disinterested in spn, and im confused why that it. I get why maybe s12 wouldnt be a fave season but if I look at the wank and bads of the previous ones (destiel fiasco in/out the show s9, charlies death Dean cruelty to Cas in s10, Dean/baby love interest s11) s12 didnt really do much that would drive people away en masse I feel? Yet it seems like more people left it :(

Heya! :D

Idk, maybe it was that more vocal people drifted off? I always feel like people’s attention spans are usually only a few years or so. I mean, I feel like I’ve been in the fandom a Long Time and I’ve only been here since the end of season 9, so really this is only my 3rd hiatus, and coming up to 4th year watching with fandom, on a 12 year show I’ve been watching for nearly 10 years, for the most part as a moderately casual viewer… I think I clock up about 5 years major interest and then drift, based on me vs several other things like how invested I was in LotR or Harry Potter or Animorphs, or whatever (to go back in time to my pre-teen interests :P) and it’s not a bad thing and I still love 2 of those franchises and have engagement in them but back to being a casual fan (if “religiously watches LotR at Christmas” is casual allowing for cultural/social stuff, but I’m not composing Legolas/Aragon smut in my teenage journal in secret code any more :P) 

Anyway the season 8 bubble of fandom could be deflating about now - that’s long enough for people to feel they’ve given the show their full attention and it’s still going so it’s getting tiring. That’s the major feeling I get - people are exhausted and we had a baby boomer fandom around season 8 so that ~generation~ of fans is now reaching the natural end of its attention span in a very human natural way. But there’s a ton of new or newer fans who are still enjoying the heck out of it, and the fandom’s still huge and full of people with a commitment to the show or ships. And some people don’t work like that and are loyal from start to finish or commit to TV shows fully to see them to their end. I would dump a show I was getting bored of but come back to watch the end later in a big marathon to find out what happened, but Supernatural hasn’t given me a reason to get totally un-invested until that time… I suspect a lot of people will watch the entire show ONE DAY but don’t want to do fandom and give it all their leisure time any more either.

[under a cut for meandering rambling]

But yeah I think you’ve named some pretty big mass exodus moments (I would like to clarify “Dean/baby” is “Dean/Amara-as-an-infant” right? Because Dean/Baby totally was a thing in 11x04 and it was GLORIOUS :P) and I feel like I DID lose people from my dash all through the time I’ve been watching. Heck, I hit up fandom right after 9x18, and started following people, and that was the JIB of “we don’t play it that way” so I immediately was following several abandoned blogs and I’d barely even started to get to know the landscape :P I feel like people HAVE been jumping ship the entire time and I remember most of those instances as sadly clearing several favourite people off my dash or turning them into different fandom blogs that I eventually unfollowed out of confusion… 

I don’t know, I think people leave when they want to leave because as long as you like the core of a thing and it holds your interest, you can forgive or ignore or scowl at but hold out for better the bad bits and problematic parts. I’m sort of weary of them killing all the women and PoC but I’m still at the stage where I identify it sucks, but I still care too much about the main characters that I’m sort of stuck on this ride with them. 

(I have 2x21 paused on the screen next to me right as Sam meets all the special children, aka introducing Lily the lesbian who dies horribly as a disposable red shirt to show how awful this situation is, and Jake, a black guy whose power is being super strong and to fall to Azazel’s manipulation, kill Sam, and then get killed with extreme overkill by Sam. In the same season he set the cops on Gordon, also a black man who was really aggro and cruel, but in the next season becomes a monster and Sam kills him also one of the most brutal kills he has up there with Jake. Basically, the show’s always had some issues and if we carried on watching all the way to season 12, well, apply self-reflection, but at this point if you’ve been watching as long as I have, you just kind of accept the show sucks at certain things, and for ME personally it’s not kicking off the sort of weariness that others felt about Billie and Alicia and Eileen being killed off this season)

… I don’t really have a point, expect about the demographics of fandom during season 8 getting to the end of their interest now. I don’t think EVERYONE who did will leave, and we’re getting fresh blood all the time, but I think that’s just part of the nature of being in fandom. I don’t think season 12 is particularly bad from my experience, although some pretty high profile bloggers have gotten exhausted - again, they’ve been maintaining blogs and producing content since single digit seasons so they’ve contributed a LOT to the fandom and there’s a fatigue about contribution as well… 

That’s partially why I meta and gif and write fic and occasionally make random shitposts… I don’t want to burn out because any one of those things on its own can get pretty boring, even writing fic. Or especially, idk, as a writer I tend to bounce around projects, so this is keeping me weirdly focused on writing my original fiction on one side of my brain and fan fic on the other and it seems to be a better way of splitting my attention… But I digress. :P 

I know how to manage my own brain to some degree but I have a lot of time to contemplate and self-reflect on why I’m in fandom and what I get out of it, and mostly I just conclude I’m bored and house-bound and I’ve found a few tried and tested things that get me some positive attention in a non-weird rat with a pleasure button way like people running hate blogs or something… But I know my own head and that I can get bored of stuff so I marathon a lot of other shows and think about other things than fandom stuff as much as possible and just let this be the gutter my brain drains into when my attention span is too shot to hell to do anything else and I just want to slump over a keyboard and do the easiest activity I know bar playing Animal Crossing for hours. 

Other people with busier lives and actual jobs and energy and limbs that don’t just randomly stop working when they do anything for more than 5 minutes and so on might not be casual fans but they make a certain space in their life for fandom and get out of it what they need but it’s a high quality demand thing so if their carefully allocated me-time isn’t rewarding them like it should it’s totally their right to go find another OTP to amuse themselves with a fandom producing stuff they want to see and a media source that’s giving them what they want immediately and in a way they don’t have to “look for scraps” as some people were saying about Destiel in season 9, 10 and 11 while things were thinner on the ground.

And as one of the too-much-free-time fandom contributors, I’ve got an enormous luxury to stick out things people who don’t have time for being jerked around or over-analysing to find what they want to see have… Although I’ll try and pass on my thoughts for the people with less time to think them to try and help them enjoy themselves as much as possible :P Anyway I think a whole range of reasons happen that people might get fatigued of the show especially as lives change and people blogging enthusiastically one day might get a job or a new relationship or a dog or SOMETHING and just not spend quite so much time online and then discover they don’t NEED to spend so much time on fandom, and drift naturally… Then try and find some reason on the show they’ve stopped watching, but often it’s just that things look worse after time away when the spark has started to fade because it’s not being nurtured in the same way any more. 

And 12 years is a LONG ASS TIME to be invested in something, so I think in general the fatigue or changing interests is all over the place and we might see it more and more as people drift… People who might watch it all as a catch up one day maybe a year or two after the show ends, but just don’t have the patience to stay in fandom and put in that energy over and over and over. 

Also the show is in a really weird place where it has some of the best writers it’s ever had in Berens and the newbie writers, and Dabb’s doing some fascinating things with the plot, but Buckleming are the executors of the story, in several interpretations of that phrase :P And there are people who skip MotW and find them unimportant or would judge the season on the plot, not the heart of the story… It’s a pretty precarious place, quality-wise. I think season 11 and 12 are a proper like, silver age revival of the MotW (with Nancy Won and Robbie giving last season a massive boost) where I think those episodes are really innovative and interesting, and the writers are being allowed a lot of freedom to play on THOSE canvases, but while the character development and *reasons* for the story have been fascinating and important, obviously 5 of the plot episodes this latest season were Buckleming and crucial to watch to know wtf was going on, even though the writers of those episodes seem to have such a terrible problem with hating the audience (literally, it’s in their scripts and off-screen comments), the genre, second drafts, common human decency towards characters and understanding why they’re important, pacing, you name it… :P So the show literally has 2 faces these days and depending on which one you see when you think of season 12, probably defines how you feel about the show as a whole and all that. I treat the plot episodes these days as a necessary evil between episodes written by people who actually like the show and care about it and its characters (see also: my non-stop sobbing about 12x22 since it aired)… But seeing the other face can really cast a cloud over the show and I’ve seen it make people wonder why the other writers even try. (I mean Perez did an incredible salvage job on Crowley in 12x15 only for it to immediately get yanked away again the next time BL wrote him and I think only they really got to play with him for the rest of the season, meaning all that work to make it seem important and thematically relevant that Perez had set up in 12x12 and messed with in 12x15 ended up being for nothing and Dabb had no time to do anything deep with Crowley, because 12x13 turns out to be the big Crowley & Rowena farewell episode, except for how it flubbed the entire premise of Grand Send Off Episode a la 7x10 or something despite all the ingredients being there…)

I am just rambling now so… Gonna hit post. Hope this makes sense :P This is just my interpretation of how people are feeling/how fandom as an entity seems to work, so it’s pretty subjective and others might feel very differently especially people who have been in negative echo chambers while I’ve built myself a reasonably positive one plus SENSIBLE and CONSTRUCTIVE wanky criticism that doesn’t go off the deep end :P