#eventually I do plan to rip and clean up all the sprites I can

[mizukagami-takamagahara]

Annon-Guy: Where did you get those Kokonoe Astral Sprites from?

Think this means other Alternate Costume Sprites for Es and Lambda are around?

Those Astral sprites were ripped straight from the files of BlazBlue Alternative Dark War!

Though we didn't see them all in the game while it was running, nearly all characters in the files had at least one (usually two) additional costumes. They're in various states of completion, though. For instance, Kokonoe also had a costume showing her in a Kaka Clan style jacket, but that outfit doesn't have any battle sprites. If you're interested, you can see all her art here!

As for Es and Lambda, yes! They both have costumes that were implemented and playable in Dark War! Lambda's only costume (finished or otherwise) was her non-combat uniform, as seen in the storymode of the main games. You can see some of her gameplay here!

I don't have any full sprites from her Astral that I can share yet; some characters, like Kokonoe, have full Astral sprites on their character sheets, while others (Es, Lambda, most) are in pieces that need to be edited together.

Here's a few complete sprites I could find on her spritesheet, though!

Es' costume from Lost Memories was implemented into the game, but I've been unable to find any videos of it. Here's one of her sprites, though!

Her outfit from Code Embryo is also in the files, but I don't remember it ever being added to the game. It does have battle sprites, though, so here's the same sprite pose for this costume!

[angelic-holland]

What We Deserve // th x fem!reader college au

request by @jennypizzaholland : Heyy😊 could you write one where tom and the reader are playing truth or dare with some friends and the reader finds out that her boyfriend cheated on her zshe gets really angry and tom is there for here? Then she goes to his house to chill and smut happens? I'm sorry if its too much 😢

Summary: You are at the cast party of the theatre show you and your friend Tom had just finished when you find out something that rips your heart in two. Tom is there to comfort you.

notes: including everything but the smut because I felt like it didn’t really fit. Let me know what you think, like, reblog, comment, and follow for more content. 

warnings: mentions of sex, mention of cheating, fluff and angst

word count: 3k

“Alright you guys, my place for the cast party,” Wendy says as you are all lounging in the dressing rooms, finished with strike and waiting for the tech director to let you go.

“Let’s check in with Ben first,” you pipe up, knowing he’d want you to do a once over as Stage Manager to ensure everything was clean and you wouldn’t get charged a cleaning fee by the rental space.

You make your way to the stage, “Ben! Where are you?” You shout, squinting up at the booth.

“Hey! Y/N, we just gotta bring these lights to Kate’s car, it’s a two person job so you can send everyone home. Great work tonight.”

“You too buddy! Wendy’s throwing a party, maybe we’ll see you there?”

“Yeah!” He shouted and you made your way back to the dressing room, almost screaming when Tom jumped out from behind the door to scare you.

“Fuck off Tom,” you laugh, grabbing your backpack, “we’re all set guys, let’s get outta here,” you watch as everyone files out the door, Wendy asking if you’ll be at her place. Tom leans against the wall as you confirm.

“Yeah, just wanna do a quick once over, I’ll see you soon.”

Wendy leaves and you walk through each dressing room, picking up trash that the actors left behind, they always fucking left some mess for you to clean up.

“Tom, are you going to follow me around or are you going to help me clean?” You ask, crossing your arms as Tom grins down at you, grabbing an empty water bottle off the table.

“Here?” He laughs.

“Why didn’t you go with the rest of them?”

“It’s late, didn’t want you walking to Wendy’s on your own.”

“Thanks,” you laugh, tossing the trash out and shutting the green room lights off, grabbing the flowers your boyfriend Luke got for you, to congratulate you on your amazing show.

“You did amazing tonight, can’t recall you missing any cues, except when Jordan forgot his line that cued you but he’s an idiot.”

You giggle, “not so bad yourself Tom, even for a boring show like Three Sisters.”

“Honestly don’t know how I didn’t fall asleep on stage.”

“Kate almost fell asleep in the booth,” you say as you start to head towards Wendy’s place, Tom following alongside you. He was a really nice guy, who you’ve come to be really good friends with throughout the rehearsal process for this show and your fall show.

“Think you wanna do this next year?”

“What? Stage manage?”

“Yeah, theatre.”

“Sure, love it, gives me a break from school, got me a pretty good friend.”

“Me?” He asks, stopping in his tracks and grinning at you.

“Nah, Ben,” you joke, Ben was a friend but nowhere near as close to you as Tom was.

“Rude,” he scoffs as you turn on Wendy’s street.

“Whatevs,” you shrug, “Where the fuck am I gonna put these flowers?”

“They won’t die if you just leave them by your bag at her place during the party.”

“Good idea,” you say, knocking on her door.

She opens, squealing at the two of you and urging you inside.

“Already a little drunk?” You laugh and she nods, holding her red cup high.

You and Tom leave your backpacks in the front entrance, kicking off your shoes too.

“What are you all up to?” You ask as Wendy leads you down the hallway to the combined kitchen and living room.

“Well we’ve got alcohol and mixers here,” she says, pointing at the choices on the counter, “and some of the cast is playing truth or dare in my room, the rest of us are hanging out up here.”

“Truth or dare? Now that could be fun,” Tom laughs, pouring himself and you some sprite.

“I guess? Yeah let’s go check it out,” you say, taking the cup from him. You both preferred not to drink, not a fan of hard liquor. A part of you was still in stage management mode and wanted to make sure everyone was staying safe and feeling okay.

“What up what up?” Tom asks as you both walk into Wendy’s room.

Piper, Diego, Quentin, Sarah, And Rachel were all sitting in a circle on her floor, laughing with red cups in hands.

“Hey!!!” Quentin greets you both and they all shuffle around to make room for the both of you in the circle.

“Hey Tom, truth or dare?” Diego asks.

“Hmmm, dare.”

“I dare you to chug your cup right now.”

He smirks at you and raises his eyebrows at Diego before drinking his entire cup, his face scrunching up in a fake scowl to pretend he’s got actual alcohol in there.

“Dude!” Diego laughs as Tom shows him the empty cup.

“Alright, uhh, Sarah, truth or dare?” Tom asks.

“Dare,” she says.

“I dare you to do a handstand.”

“A HANDSTAND? I’m so drunk right now I don’t know,” she says standing up, stumbling a little bit. You all scoot farther away from her as she prepares herself. She was a dancer, been doing handstands for ages so it wasn’t something she couldn’t do. After successful doing a handstand for a few seconds she plops back down on the floor.

The game goes on for a little bit, as the drink flows between the rest of the group the questions and dares are a little more out there.

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Quentin asks.

“Truth.”

“When’s the last time you had sex?”

You laugh, of course they’d want to know, “uhh end of last week? Right before tech since we’ve spent all our time in the theatre but don’t worry Luke and I will make up for it tomorrow,” you blush, you had planned to spend the day at his dorm, his roommate conveniently gone for the weekend.

“Damn girl get it,” Sarah laughs.

“Truth or dare Tom?”

“Truth.”

“Oh my god y’all are so lame!” Piper moans, “don’t gotta chose truth all the time.”

“This is literally the first time I’ve chosen truth Pipes,” Tom says, rolling his eyes.

“What’s your biggest fear?”

“Probably spiders, Diego, truth or dare?”

“Dare!”

“I dare you to kiss anyone you want right now, with their consent of course,” Tom smirks, looking at you. You both knew that Diego had a huge crush on Quentin, and Quentin liked him too. Maybe they’d finally get their heads out of their asses.

He blushes and looks over at Quentin who’s sitting next to him, blush on his cheeks as well, looking right back.

“Can I, can I kiss you?” Diego asks and Quentin nods, leaning over to quickly kiss Diego before sitting down again.

Sarah is howling with laughter, “finally!”

“What do you mean finally?” Diego asks.

“You two have been dancing around each other, stupid crushes and can’t even articulate how you feel when you’re in THEATRE, you should know how to get your point across.”

“Yeah yeah shut up Sarah,” Diego laughs, “truth or dare Piper?”

“Truth.”

You and Tom look at each other, after she made fun of both of you for choosing truth.

“Who’s the last person you had sex with?”

“Luke,” she slurs, giggling a little.

“Luke?” You ask, brows furrowed, she obviously must mean some other Luke, there’s plenty of Luke's here. Not your Luke, Luke Winters.

“Yeah, like three months ago why?”

You can feel your heart beating faster in your chest.

“Luke Winters?” You hear Tom ask.

“Yes?” Piper asks, sounding confused as to why you’re both questioning it.

You stand up, legs shaking, running out of the room, you can hear Tom following you, people calling after you but you can’t take in what they’re saying.

You rush out of the apartment, you hear Tom tell Wendy you’re not feeling to great and he’ll take you back to your dorm.

“Y/N, wait, come here, you’re gonna get hit by a car! Stop!” Tom shouts, grabbing your shoulder and turning you towards him.

You’re crying, tears running down your face, he pulls you into a hug as you sob.

“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s gonna be okay,” he says, holding you tight.

“I need to, needa talk to him, need to figure this out.”

“Are you sure you want to?” He says as you pull away from him.

“Yes, cause maybe, maybe Piper was lying.”

“Exactly, so why don’t we go back to your dorm, calm down, and talk to him tomorrow morning?”

“No, I need to talk to him now,” you say, pulling out your phone.

“Y/N, you don’t want to do that,” Tom says, taking your phone out of your hands.

“Give it back Tom,” you say, reaching for it but he holds it over his head.

“Y/N, this is a conversation you need to have with him in person.”

“Fine,” you say, stalking off.

“Where are you going?” He says, jogging after you.

“To his dorm!”

“Y/N, come on, it’s late, this can wait.”

“No, no Tom it really can’t.”

“Okay, at least let me come with you, mediate.”

“Fine,” you say, giving up as Tom falls in step beside you, handing you your phone back. You notice that Luke has texted you.

Luke: you were so great tonight, can’t wait to see you tomorrow

You frown, tears welling up in your eyes again. Ignoring him you shove your phone in your pocket and you and Tom walk in silence towards Luke’s dorm.

You get in, waiting for someone else to show up so you can swipe you in, you only have access to your own building.

You make your way to his dorm eventually, knocking on his door. Tom stands to the side, leaning against the wall, watching your demeanor.

You’re shaking, you’ve stopped crying, hands clenched into fists at your sides.

“Y/N, hey!” Luke says, swinging the door open.

“Did you?”

He looks at you confused, you push your way into his dorm room, Tom following behind you.

“Whoa, Tom, hi to you too I guess?” Luke asks, shutting the door, “Y/N, what’s going on?”

“Did you fuck Piper?”

He sighs, nodding.

“What the fuck?!” You scream.

“What do you mean what the fuck?”

“You had SEX WITH SOMEONE, WHILE WE’RE DATING?! AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY?”

“Y/N, we, I, we never said we were like in a closed relationship, I figured you knew that.”

“A CLOSED RELATIONSHIP? AREN’T ALL RELATIONSHIPS CLOSED? WHY WOULD WE HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP?”

“Because we’re in college? Because nobody stays committed to just one person in college, yeah we’re dating but it’s not like we can’t see other people.”

“Oh, and that’s something you just decided? You decided that our relationship was open without even bothering to, I don’t know, ASK?”

“I thought that was a given.”

“A given? A fucking given?” You’re screaming, you don’t give a fuck if his entire floor hears, if the entire dorm building hears.

“Y/N, let’s talk about this, it doesn’t have to be open if you don’t want it to be.”

Before you realize what you’re doing you’re slapping him, and Tom is dragging you out of his room.

“I don’t want to see you, talk to you, EVER AGAIN ASSHOLE!” you shout as he slams the door, Tom’s arms around your waist, practically carrying you down the hallway.

“Y/N, listen to me, please, calm down, you’re too angry right now,” he says as you try to wiggle out of his grasp. He’s whispering in your ear and you try to calm your breathing as his arm’s loosen their grip.

“He, he, just, I can’t believe him,” you are still seething as you leave his dorm building, Tom’s arm still around your waist, trying to calm you down, rubbing your side and whispering in your ear how everything’s going to be alright, everything will be okay eventually.

He guides you back to his dorm building, you don’t even realize you’re standing in front of his door and not your own until you look up and see the wrong number.

“You don’t want your roommate to see you like this,” he says, unlocking his door.

Everything was happening so fast, you thought you really liked Luke, you weren’t going to say love because you’ve only been together for 7 months but, you wanted him to meet your parents, you wanted to be with him for a long time. You’re still shaking, don’t know whether to scream or cry so you let out a short shriek and break down, sobbing as Tom wraps his arms around you, dropping his backpack and your own on the ground, letting you cry.

“It’s gonna be okay, shh, cry it out, let it out,” he mumbles against your head. He holds you as you cry, until you literally can’t cry anymore and he still holds you as you shake.

“Come on, let’s sit down,” he says, guiding you to his bed.

You sit down, looking at your hands on your lap, trembling.

“You know, he’s a fucking idiot, nobody just decides a relationship is open before talking with their partner,” he says, sitting next to you and holding your hand.

His thumb rubs the skin of your hand, trying to calm you down. He did it often, if you were studying and got anxious, if you were anxious about a cue you were practicing with him. He’d take your hand in his, just holding it, a small comfort. It always worked, and tonight was much the same.

“I don’t, I can’t believe Piper never said anything, never even mentioned it, ‘hey I fucked your boyfriend’.”

“I mean, to be fair she probably thought you knew and just didn’t want to make things awkward.”

“Oh god, his entire fucking dorm heard me didn’t they?”

“So what if they did, he’s an asshole, deserves it.”

“Thanks Tom,” you sigh, laying your head on his shoulder.

“Any day sweetheart.”

Before you can recognize your own movements, you’re turning towards Tom, kissing him. You’re not sure why you’re kissing him. You’re upset, you’re mad at Luke, you sort of want to forget about Luke. He pulls away from you after a few moments, it took everything in him to actually pull away.

“Y/N, you’re not, you’re not in the right headspace, you shouldn’t be kissing me right now. You’re upset about Luke, you don’t want to do something you’ll regret.”

“I wouldn’t regret this.”

“Why don’t you calm down and rest, think about this, about, everything, okay? And if you still wanna kiss me later, you can kiss me then.”

“You’d want to kiss later?”

“Yes but that’s not the point, you can stay here if you want, my roommate’s back home for the weekend.”

“Can I, can we rest together? Can you just hold me?” you ask, staring at him.

“Of course,” he says, “lemme find you something nicer to wear to sleep than those jeans and shirt.”

You nod and he gets up, looking through his drawers and pulling out a few pairs of sweatpants and a t-shirt for you.

“I’m gonna get changed and brush my teeth, you can change here okay? Will you be alright?”

You nod as he hands you his clothes.

You change after he leaves, checking your phone. There’s more than a dozen messages from Luke but you ignore them all and block his number. You’re fucking done.

Tom knocks, “you decent?”

“Yes,” you say, crossing your arms in front of yourself, he gave you one of his university t-shirts, they gave one to everyone when you first got here, all extra large so it was pretty big on you.

He steps back in, “I think I’ve got an extra toothbrush,” he says, rummaging through his bedside table.

“Thanks Tom,” you say as he hands that and the tube of toothpaste to you.

You brush your teeth in the girls bathroom on the floor before making your way back to his room. He’s lounging on his bed, phone in hand. He places it down when you get back, patting the spot next to him. The dorm beds are twin beds, not leaving much room for the both of you so you lay next to him, letting him wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you into his side, your leg wrapping around his.

“Try to get some rest,” Tom says, kissing your cheek.

And you do, you fall asleep rather quickly. It’s been a long day, it’s incredibly late and you just had your heart torn in two.

Tom however stays awake, thinking about the events that unfolded. Thinking about how you kissed him, thinking about how he wanted to keep kissing you, thinking about how he didn’t want to take advantage of your vulnerability so he stopped. He wanted you to be in the right state of mind while you kissed him, which admittedly was something he thought about often.

****

You woke up to the feeling of Tom’s hand running up and down your arm, drawing circles into your skin.

“Hi,” you smile at him and he smiles back.

“Morning.”

“Morning it is,” you say, relaxing in his arms.

“Have a good sleep?”

“Yes, was nice to forget about all the fuckery that happened last night.”

“Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah, I guess, I guess I wish we had been more communicative, Luke and I, wish we told each other everything, kinda like you and I, wish he didn’t keep secrets, wish I don’t know, he told me he hooked up with Piper, so I could’ve broken it off three months ago.”

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Yeah but what do I deserve? If I’m stupid enough to not even realize he slept with someone else, what the fuck do I deserve?”

“You deserve the goddamn world sweetheart. Wish you would understand that.”

“You’re too good to me.”

“It’s what you deserve.”

“You know, this is cheesy as fuck but maybe that book was right, what was it? The one that says we accept the love we think we deserve? Maybe I went along with Luke because I don’t think I deserve any better.”

“Sweetheart, how can I make you understand you deserve the world?”

“Dunno, gonna take time,” you shrug, laying your head on his chest.

“Well I’m glad that’s something we’ve got.”

[game-meak]

A Proper Postmortem

Maybe?!  Heck if I know how to actually format a good post but let’s try.  As game development went on for almost four years, this is probably gonna be long... and also give away basically the whole game oops!  Read on with caution.

Sometime around July 2014, a month after the initial release of my first game, my room was being remodeled and I was stuck with nothing for free time but a garbage laptop I could do anything on, an old flip phone, my sketchbook, and my 3DS.  So beyond playing an obscene amount of Animal Crossing and Tomodachi Life, I at some point went “hey, what if I made a second game starring the kids.”  So I started trying to plan it out!  And it went

absolutely nowhere that I intended it to go!!!

For instance, this is the very first page of sketches.  This squirrel was supposed to be really important.  It’s not.  I don’t even KNOW what’s up with that duck.

A thing I like to think about before I set off making any of the story, assets, or scripts for my games tend to be themes and motifs.  And I kept circling back to a very important, very personal “theme.”  Without using the internet at large as my therapy couch, I was emotionally abused and taken advantage of multiple times in my life and it greatly impacts how I interact with people to this very day, as you’d expect events of such a degree would.  Particularly, I kept thinking that the RPG Maker fan crowd tends to skew young and be in the teenage range and at ages 14-16, I could’ve used something to help.

Of course, my entire thought process isn’t necessarily one of charity and selflessness.  It was also a way of me expressing what I’d dealt with in ways I’ve only ever communicated with my friends who were also victims of the same circumstances, the closest I would let myself come to personal stories and retellings with a cover of plastic children and wild adventures.  It was also in some ways a way of me verifying to myself that something ongoing was, in fact, bananas and should not have been happening, but that might be another story for another time.

As you can probably guess, Haze and Seal came into the picture since I needed to make two characters who would have this struggle.  A lot of decisions came about because of my personal experience.  They’re 15/16 because I was at the time of the incidents that primarily inspired me to make this game.  They’re both nonbinary because I am.  They love anime because I did (and do...?!)  One of their friends is even directly modeled off how one of my friends looked in high school.  To that degree, I guess someone, somewhere can call them self inserts.  But they’re also not, since I didn’t want to just do a personal retelling with fictional characters.  I’d just write a memoir or something at that point.

Haze’s design came first, and then Seal’s was sort of made as a foil to them.  Haze’s “colors” are pink, black, grey, and red.  Seal’s are teal and light purple... and also black.  Haze had a rabbit motif (which got toned down as I went on), Seal had an owl motif (which is now just a single mention in their list of likes...), etc.

Though in the beginning, the story was entirely different.  Initially, everything took place in the neon-ish areas with black sky and reflective, celestial water (that I, very eloquently, call “spacewater”).  The idea was that Haze and Seal were beings from another dimension and that their “fighting” was causing a rip in the universe that the kids stumbled into and therefore got wrapped up in this mess.  I had an entire script written and started making assets and when I went to sum up the game’s plot in a neat paragraph, I realized... I hated it!!!

So I chucked all I had done by that point writing-wise and started again.

In fact, I rewrote a lot.  After the first it was mostly small tweaks and adjustments, but the biggest ones (and the ones that still present a challenge to me!) usually involved trying to make Seal feel like a believable character.  I had shown an early draft to someone who said that Seal felt too much like trying to get back at someone, so I scrapped a ton of their lines and tried again.  I still worry whether or not they come across too Strawman-y, but I’ve done the best I can and whatever criticism people have can apply to my next writing attempts.  It’s very hard to separate yourself from subject matter you feel really personally attached to.  I don’t want to write them in a way that you immediately hate them, or hate me for writing such a blatant “villain” character, but in a way that you can formulate your own thoughts.  That said, though, I am violently allergic to people who call Seal a “tsundere,” even in jest.  So I guess I want people to have their own thoughts as long as it’s not that specific one...! (;;;;)

You may be thinking “heck, this is a lot of paragraphs in and you haven’t even brought up gameplay thoughts” and yes... that’s very true.  Shamefully, for a game where I thought “I should definitely, absolutely focus more on making it a Fun Game than a walking visual novel” I might’ve actually dropped the ball in that area.  I’d like to think I was more adventurous than I had been with my first game.  Some parts do kind of fall into the “walk to the next cutscene, find a key to unlock the next cutscene” pit, but I did put effort into figuring out what I could do with RMXP.  My obligatory “please don’t use this engine here, people thinking of using RPG Maker” statements here.  In the final product, though they’re very simple, I’m most proud of the chalkboard puzzle and the paint sorting puzzle.

Even if, y’know... I somehow neglected to include the letter “k”

Speaking of, I’m not sure if this is a general RPG Maker thing, a “man I hate RMXP” thing, or a “meaka cannot gamemake” thing, but I had several event/puzzles just up and quit on me a few times.  Like they would work fine for months and months, but one day I’d go to them and just nope, suddenly they’re not working, sorry.  Copy+pasting the event to a new map wouldn’t work, so I’d have to manually redo the event.  One of them was the chalkboard puzzle.  The other was the sliding puzzle when Tony is by herself.  Which I’m also aware slows the game down a ton, but I have legitimately no idea how to fix that... I tried and I could never get to to not lag like crazy.

Like I said, I started in July 2014.  I’d shipped the game off to my beta testers in March 2018.  A vast majority of that time was spent creating the visual assets since everything you see in the game is custom.  All the sprites, all the tilesets, every little pixel of it.  All me!  Needless to say... it was very exhausting and very time consuming. I grossly underestimated how much time I thought it’d take.  I never accounted for the very real possibility of burnout, which is incredibly silly considering I was making something entirely by myself that was also an occasionally difficult subject matter...!  There were quite a few weeks where I touched nothing because I couldn’t bring myself to and even a few times where I just considered deleting everything and cancelling the project.  I knew I’d be mad at myself if I quit, especially as I got later into production, so I just tried my best to make sure I didn’t turn it into a huge chore.  Obviously, there were parts that were more tedious than others, but this game really is a very large labor of love that I put a lot of my heart into.

Part of that time is also a little bit of indecision.  Did you know I went through 3 possible title screens?  I sure did!  I’ve also publicly posted about redoing both Haze and Seal’s bust sprites before.  I almost redid all of the kids’, too, but I didn’t wanna get caught in the loop of remaking everything, so I opted to just leave them as they are.  Most of them don’t bug me as much.  M...most of them!

I’m hopping back on the Story train since obviously that was my main focus, but the decision to have Seal sort of “reveal” their true nature (or at least have a jealousy-related anger burst) to Octavio as an animated cutscene was one I’d decided pretty early.  Which is also why, unsurprisingly, I was debating getting voice actors for a hot minute.  But I wouldn’t have used it anywhere else in the game, so I opted not to.  I also wanted to keep the file size low, but that wound up not happening so much, h-haha...   For someone who uses the only engine without native support for videos, I sure do like making animated cutscenes, huh.

Anyway.  This scene originally bridged Octavio’s section of the game to Pablo’s, which would’ve been (for some reason) in an abandoned hospital.  But that didn’t pan out because it didn’t fit what I wanted the game to be and also by switching the order of the two, it builds up more tension(?) on the kind of character you expect Seal to be.  I hope their very first “fuck off, maybe” took someone out there by surprise!

This also was the point when I decided I wanted to commission an original soundtrack, since nothing quite got across what I wanted at the time.  Which is when I put out my silly ad post and somehow managed to get the amazing ProjectTrinity to compose for me...!  I’m still amazed by the sheer quality of music he made for my little RPGMaker game.

Having the teen characters curse was also something I waffled on for a bit.  Clearly, I dwell on the important things as a writer.  I wanted it to contrast the cutesy, kidlike way the siblings talk and also the sort of squeaky-clean image the witches (particularly Seal) present to the kids by contrasting how they talk to each other, most importantly how Seal talks to Haze and their other friends.  I did have the same issue with the Mother in my first game, but I opted to not have her curse at all either since she’s childish in her own way, too.  But that’s not for THIS game’s postmortem, get otta here!!!

I also very much was set on a “battle” with words being the final event of the game.  Though I had a hard time imagining what that would be initially, but eventually arrived at a sort of fake battle system that was introduced in the mine.  The setting for this battle changed with time (everywhere from the park to the academy and in between) was considered...!  The dirty secret is that while I did like the decision to make it take place in the voids between worlds, I also sort of did not want to draw the staircase in the witch academy.  Originally, the kids would’ve also helped Haze “reach” Seal (who was putting actual obstacles in the way), but I guess in my own way, I wanted to give Haze the ability to confront Seal on their own, one-on-one.  Or something like that...!  I also didn’t want to add too much needless backtracking.

I’m... unsure what other point I really want to make, so I guess I’ll end this here unless anyone has anything in particular that interests them they’d want me to answer!

All in all, this game means a lot to me and took a chunk of my life to make and I really hope it’s able to reach at least one person who might need it, even if it’s only a little. 

To all of you who gave it a try, thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart.

A shameless link to the game:  [itch.io] & [RMN]

[ageeksnerdyworld]

Know My Weakness

Characters: Khalid Asfour and Kairo Asfour 

Word Count: 3, 805

Trigger Warning: Death Mention, Violence

Notes: Another backstory. I’ve finally realized that writing things phonetically makes things better because the text alignment of Tumblr posts totally flips Arabic so it turns into nonsense. And as always The Cyber World and the viruses therein belong to @voiceoflarka

Summary: Kairo Asfour is determined to put his past behind him. To prove that he's better than who he used to be. And that all begins with saving his son. Click that read more if you’d like.

~~~

Kairo Asfour woke up before the sun rose. He didn't even think twice about it as it was an old habit he’d kept for longer than not. He sits up on the thin mattress and laces his fingers in one another. Cracking his knuckles he stretches his arms behind his back. With a light yawn he rubs his chin. The scratching sound tells him that his beard that has gotten fuller than he realized. Rubbing a hand over his face he fully shakes off the last throngs of sleep from his body. He pulls the thin blanket off and steps onto the cool, sandy, ground.

He crosses the short distance to the small wooden table that sits on the right side of the tent's interior.

He kneels on the ground and pulls a dust colored canvas bag out from under the table. Untying the brown leather cord that seals the bag he shoves a hand inside. Blindly searching in the dark of early morning he removes a couple articles of clothing from inside. He quickly changes into a pair of thin, cream colored, pants; deep pockets on either side. Tossing the dirty pair into a nearby wicker basket, which is fuller than he realized, he makes a mental note to do the washing soon. Hooking his fingers under the cloth he starts to peel the olive green shirt off his chest.

The shirt is halfway off when his long, tan, fingers graze a scar.

He freezes for just a second.

Kairo ultimately pulls the shirt off and looks down at his abdomen. Honey colored veins map the surface of his skin; lining his muscles and accentuating their definition. But the deeply indented scar breaks his carefully toned form. It remains as a constant reminder of his past.

Of his foolish mistakes.

The scar itself runs along his right side; curling around his back. It stops just above his right hip. Running his fingers along he winces at the memory of the pain he felt when the wound was inflicted.

He remembers the man’s sharp, angry, yellow eyes shining in the dark of night. The way the tiger virus gritted his teeth as he dragged the blade through Kairo's skin. The deep honey color of his own soul residue as it poured from the gash in his flesh. He also remembers the man’s soul residue as it leaked from the fatal wound; coloring his outfit a dark green. He remembers the light, and life, draining from the attacker's eyes.

Years, maybe even decades, have passed between then and now. Despite that the scar glows brighter than the rest of his veins.

Once his mind is back in the present Kairo shakes his head and blinks. He quickly puts on a deep navy short-sleeved t-shirt. Letting out a light sigh he pushes the small bag back under the table. Rising to his feet he turns back to where his minimal bed lay.

His dark brown, almost black, eyes pass over his mattress and look to the one that lies next to it.

A small, tan skinned, boy lays curled up under a blanket. His tiny fingers poke out of the dark cloth. His hair is a mess; sticking out at the oddest angles. The boy’s face was peaceful and innocent. His chest slowly raises and falls with deep slumber.

Kairo almost doesn't want to wake his son.

Did you really think you could leave your true self behind? Move on and do something good with whatever time you have left? You're a fool, Hisada. You'll never really change and he will pay the price.

The voice of his conscious mocks him. And in the deepest caverns of his heart Kairo agrees.

Tiptoeing to the side of his son's bed he crouches next to him. A smile forms as he watches his son sleep. Reaching out he brings a hand to the boy's head. Softly stroking the boy's dark hair he whispers quietly.

"Come on, meherya. You cannot sleep the day away."

"La baba," the boy says with a tired groan. He turns away from his father's touch.

Kairo pulls the blanket off the boy and grabs his shoulder. He gently lifts his son into a sitting position. The boy's eyes blink slowly. His mouth opens wide as he lets out a long yawn. Kairo leaves the boy's side to fetch him a change of clothes.

"I'm tired baba," he says.

Kairo nods; "I know, Khalid, I know. But there is work to do."

He passes the clothes to the boy and tells him to get dressed. The child nods and Kairo slips on a pair of sandals. He reminds Khalid that he will be just outside. As he leaves a ray of early morning sunlight glinting of a metal surface catches his eye. But Kairo ignores it and steps out into the early day.

The air is crisp and cold.

He looks out into the desert; watching the sun slowly rise over the sand. Coloring the dark sky in oranges, purples, and pinks the sight is breathtaking. He shifts his gaze to the right but remains still. Then he turns his eyes to the left. No one can be seen for miles in either direction.

Even though he knew they were completely alone he remains vigilant.

"Pretty," a small voice calls from behind him.

Kairo turns around to see his son staring wide eyed at the sky. The sunlight shines off the boy's face; lightening his tan skin. His mouth is open in a wide toothy grin of childlike wonder.

Kairo reminds himself that this, his son's innocence, is why he has to do what he has planned.

But, he says to himself, it can wait.

He takes his son by the hand and leads the boy to a large boulder that shields their tent from the harsh desert winds. He lifts the boy on the top of the boulder. Patting his son's hand he ensures that Khalid is steady before climbing up himself. Once they're sitting side by side Khalid curls up to his father. Kairo puts an arm around his son and pulls him close.

Together they watch the sun rise.

After they head back into the tent. Kairo gathers a few things. Khalid helps by carrying two plates as carefully as he can. Father and son make a small fire together a few yards away from their tent. When the fire is going Kairo carefully sets a rack over the flame and puts a pan on the rack. He makes sure his son is far enough to not get burnt accidentally but close enough for him to keep an eye. Kairo makes eggs with feta cheese.

He calls Khalid over as he plates the eggs.

Reminding the boy to be careful, because the eggs are very hot, he takes out a thick pita out of a bag by his feet. Ripping it in half he then rips one half into halves again. Handing the young sprite a fourth of the pita he takes a fourth for himself. Returning the uneaten pita to the bag he ties it closed before he begins eating.

His conscious whispers sinisterly; Time is not on our side. Don't you dare pretend that it's alright.

That was the last thing she ever said to him. And in the end she was right. The words bring on a wave of memories he can't stop. He stares off, chewing mindlessly, past his son and into the empty desert.

The vision, the memory, of his wife blossoms in his mind's eye. Meherya Nucati was still as beautiful as the day they met. Her smile is even brighter, and more soothing, in his memory. She was the light of his life in those days. A pleasant presence that cut through the dark and harsh reality he lived in. It was impossible to hide the truth of his work from her. She was far too smart to actually believe his lies. And then there was the reason they had met in the first place.

Her mother hired Kairo to kill her.

And Meherya paid the ultimate price in the end. She knew that trying to hide out was pointless. The organization that was after Kairo would find him eventually and they wouldn't stop until they did. They would send droves assassins just like him if they had to. But he was too stubborn, too confident in his own abilities, to take her fears into consideration.

She was murdered right next to him and he couldn't stop it.

It had been three years since then but the memory was as clear as the sunrise.

That day she wasn't feeling well so she stayed home from work. Even with her nose red, skin pale, and hair messy Meherya was still the most beautiful person he ever met. He insisted that she stay in bed. He could handle taking care of her and Khalid until she was better. It was going to be fine.

They barely made it through the morning when it happened. Kairo was in the kitchen, with the baby on his hip, making breakfast. He softly sang one of Meherya's favorite songs to the boy. When breakfast was ready he carefully carried a plate to their bedroom. He pushed the door open with his hip. Stepping into the room what he saw made him drop the plate of food in shock.

Meherya lay on the floor slumped against the left side of the bed.

Her hair was matted against the right side of her head; stuck there with soul residue. The clothes she wore were now stained a light mint green from the slash across her throat. That mint green color was entirely gone from her veins which were now dark black. Her eyes and mouth were still open so it seemed she had some final thoughts for her killer. Kairo now realized that she wasn't sick. She had been poisoned.

Only the poison didn't take the way it should have, it seemed. That’s why his wife was brutally slain in their marital bed. Kario knew that the fact of killing her where they lived, ate and slept together, was a message. A message that was clearer than it ever would have been. As he turned Khalid away, and knelt down to close Meherya’s eyes, that message rang through his mind. It played like a broken record; repeating over and over.

You failed. You tried to protect them and you failed. You’re not safe here.

Their son was barely even two.

Kairo owed it to his wife, and her memory, to save his son from his past.

He thought about all of this as they cleaned up. Taking the dishes and the laundry to the nearest water source Kairo remained silent. He could feel his young son's curious eye on him as they walked. His mind was still on the daunting task at hand. He didn't save Meherya and he needed to change that.

He would start today.

No more holding back.

Kairo didn't say anything until they were back at the tent. Together father and son began to hang the laundry on a thin wire that ran from the tent to a pole a few feet away. The wind was calm for the moment so they didn't have to struggle against it. While his son was attaching clothespins to a sheet Kairo ducked inside the tent. When he returned he had two wooden scimitars in his hands. He set them down quickly and rushed to help finish hanging the laundry.

When that was done Kairo knelt down so that he was eye level with Khalid.

He firmly placed his hands on the boy's shoulders. But when he started to speak he found that his voice faltered. Khalid asked him if he was okay and Kairo smiled; squeezing his shoulder just a bit harder than before.

"I'm going to teach you how to protect yourself," he said when his voice came back to him.

The young boy's eyes went wide with excitement. A beaming smile painted his face.

"You think I'm ready?"

Kairo shrugged as he picked up the scimitars. He told his son that there was no time like the present. It was better for him to learn now rather than wish he had.

Without warning he swung one of the wooden swords at his son. Khalid quickly ducked out of the way; truly afraid. Kairo praised him and then attacked again. But this time he swung with both scimitars. He raised one high in the air while swinging the other low. Khalid moved out of the way of the overhand attack but wasn't prepared for the other. He fell on his back as his legs were swept out from under him.

Kairo helped his son to his feet and fixed the boy's stance before going back into the impromptu training session. The fourth time the boy fell Kairo harshly shouted at him to take this seriously. His survival would depend on this.

"People do not like what they do not understand. And most of those people try to destroy what they don't understand."

"What do you mean, baba?"

"They don't understand that people can change. There are many things I have done in the past that others do not forgive. If they need to they will hunt you to get to me."

Kairo Asfour closes his eyes and hangs his head in shame. The wooden scimitars go lack at his sides. His stance relaxes; fully losing the defense. Khalid senses that his father has darker secrets than what he already knows. Darkness that has shaped him into the man he is today.

That forced him into a life of hiding.

"You're not like that anymore," Khalid says with tears in his eyes.

"They do not see it that way, habibi," his father says; regret ringing through his voice.

"Now, get up," he commands the harsh cruelty returning to his voice.

The young boy doesn't hesitate. He quickly scrambles to his feet and readying himself. Holding both hands, tightly clenches into fists, in front of his chest he was prepared for the next attack. His eyes narrow and he clenches his jaw.

~~~

Khalid wakes up the next morning being harshly poked in the shoulder. The object feels round and hard and cold against his skin. It jolts him awake and he opens his eyes to the deep darkness of early morning. Or maybe it was the middle of the night? He couldn't know for sure it was too dark. So dark that he could barely make out the silhouette of someone standing next to him.

All he can really see is the faint glow of the virus's latte brown veins.

A muffled voice harshly says; "Move it, kid."

Afraid and confused the boy scrambles to his feet. The muffled voice orders him to move again. He hesitates and is once again pushed by the strange cold object as its shoved into his back. Khalid exits the tent with the stranger behind.

Stepping out into the dark desert his eyes are now adjusting to the night.

He sees five more viruses; all with faces covered by balaclavas and masks. One is standing alone as if waiting for something. The other four are surrounding his father. Two are holding his arms back while another seemingly ties him up. One of which has a knife to his throat. The blade surprisingly shines, from the glow of the viruses' veins, in the dark. Before he can cry out Khalid is harshly shoved to the ground in front of the lone masked figure.

His hand hits a sharp rock and a cut forms on his palm.

A bit of his salmon colored soul, bright in the stark black of night, starts to come to the surface.

"Found this one asleep in the tent," the voice behind Khalid says.

"Interesting," the figure replies.

The man kneels down and harshly grabs the boy's chin. Digging his fingers into Khalid's skin he narrows his eyes; glaring. He shoves the young sprite's face to the side and surveys the boy's expression. Khalid quietly winces in pain; trying not to show it. The man’s mouth curls in disgust and looks up at Kairo. Their eyes lock and his expression shifts into a devilish grin.

"I had no idea you were a family man, Hisada. That seems highly contradictory to your line of work."

With that he forcibly shoves Khalid's face to the ground and crosses to the others.

"Look, whoever you are, your fight is with me. Not him. Leave the boy."

“Oh, believe me, you deserve way worse. But, this is the only way to really hurt you,” the man says as he pulls his balaclava off his face.

His hair is cut short, eyes are dark, and his face is clean shaven. Everything about his physical appearance is virtually perfect. He looks young, serious, and very proud of himself. A dark smile forms on his lips as his hand reaches up once again. His fingers run through something invisible and the edge of his jaw glimmers and shines.

The man’s fingertips cut through the image as he reaches for his ear. The gloved fingers curl around the back of his ear and pull away with a small device. It’s gray in color and shaped like a hearing aid but much more flat. A small circular light shines on the tip of the device; flashing red.

Kairo nods, slightly impressed, knowing exactly what the device is.

The man’s real skin is a bright white. Mauve colored veins crawl all over his neck. A few veins poke out from under the black finger-less gloves. Short cropped, army-style, silver hair blends into his skin at the base of his skull. Dark, brooding anger, clouds his moss green eyes. But that proud smile still curls the edges of his mouth.

“Paul? Paul Saakar?”

“Long time no see,” he says.

“Leave my son alone,” Kairo replies threateningly.

Saakar ignores him; “You thought you were finished with us when you killed my father, but, that was just the beginning. I took up my father’s position.”

He rolls up the sleeve of his left arm; revealing the underside of his forearm. A silver inked tattoo colors his white skin. In Kairo’s memory there was just a viper curled around a skull. But now a crown hovers above the head of the snake; the mark of the guild’s leader.

“I lead the Vicious Vipers and you know what exactly happens to anyone who crosses me. Did you really think I’d let that go? I’ve spent the last two years following your trail and I do have to say you are a hard man to find, Hisada.”

Kairo sighs and hangs his head.

“You found me,” he says. “Do what you want but, please, leave him be.”

“The Vicious Vipers will never be defeated. Cut off one head.”

“Isn’t that hydra?”

Paul Sakkar ignores Kairo’s comment once again; “You took the most important person in the world from me. It’s about time I return the favor. You’ve killed your last victim, Hisada.”

He turns his head to the man who stands over Khalid. The man holds the boy down; a knee shoved into the kid’s back. The muzzle of his pistol is up against his leg.

The leader of the assassins gives the man a slight nod. 

The man shoots the boy in the leg. The bullet enters through the front, creating a hole on impact, and exits through the back. Small, fracture like, cracks explode at all angles from both wounds. Soul residue begins to slowly seep from the wound. Khalid screams as the bullet enters and then again seconds later when it exits.

He grits his teeth against the pain.

Without hesitating Kairo frees himself from the grip of the two men. Slamming their heads together he knocks them out. Twisting the other man’s wrist he forces the knife out of his hand. Brandishing the knife Kairo rushes Saakar. In response to his struggle four more shots are fired at his son.

“You’re going to regret that,” he whispers to Saakar.

Kairo pushes the blade into the man’s neck and slices his throat.

Within a few minutes all of the men Saakar brought with him are dead. Kairo doesn't even take a second to survey the violence at his front door. Instead he rushes over to his son. A small puff of sand shoots up as he kneels by Khalid. Taking his son's small hand in his own he squeezes it. Giving Khalid's hand a kiss tears stream down his face. He apologizes over and over again. This was the exact thing he wanted to prevent.

That's when he sees the damage.

Khalid's leg has been destroyed from the knee down.

Pieces of his leg, small shards really, cover the sand. So much of the boy's soul has been oozing from the wound that his veins have dimmed. The color glows fainter by the second. The sand underneath is deeply soaked with Khalid's soul. His eyes are shut and his mouth hangs open slightly. Kairo is completely stunned and horrified that anyone could do that to a child. But the shock last only for a split second as he gathers his thoughts and rushes inside the tent.

Kairo comes back mere minutes later with a long piece of cloth and a wet rag. He uses the rag, as quickly and carefully as he can, to clean the area around the wound. Then he unfurls the cloth and starts to wrap the wound. When he's satisfied with the tourniquet he places a hand on the boy's cheek.

Rushing back inside he throws a few necessities into a canvas bag and throws it over his shoulder. Then he grabs a long scarf and wraps it around his face. Pulling it over the bridge of his nose he goes back outside. He covers Khalid’s face with a cloth as well. As the winds pick up around them sand whips against Kairo’s covered face. He hopes the wind doesn’t pick up into a storm.

Kneeling down he gingerly slides his hands under his son's back, being mindful of the injury, and picks him up.

"Rest my boy. Rest, it's going to be alright."

As he trudges through the sand Kairo softly whispers a message, a prayer, to his wife. He doesn’t know if she’s listening. He doesn’t know if she can help. If he was honest with himself he’d admit that she was right. That he should’ve listened to her. Maybe then things would be different. He knows there’s nothing to be done about it now. So he does all that he can.

He braces himself against the harsh wind and pushes on.