#event | valentine's ball
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mcrcki · 11 months ago
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here i come with another MASSIVE event plotting / starter call (this time with over 20 characters bc who even am i) !! before i get too much into event stuff, i just wanna put up some housekeeping things so i'm not just repeating myself over and over in the discord : i will be dropping almost all of my pre-event threads. meaning, i will only be keeping the thread if it is an active plot that needs to be continued because we aren't at a place to infer the ending. i am just so utterly overwhelmed with my number of drafts that i really need to just start fresh, so i'll be using this as my chance to spam the heck out of y'all's calls and get way more threads that i actually have muse for. i'm sorry if we had a thread you really wanted to continue, i just need a fresh start. now for housekeeping for my call, as always this will be capped. i wanna write with everyone but i can't if i get a million requests from one person so!! the cap is three starters per writer!! blind date starters will not count towards that cap. otherwise, please LIKE for plotting messages, and REPLY for starters (pls specify muses unless previously discussed!!)!
in the meantime, if you wanna see what my clowns are wearing, please follow this link to my pinterest :))
alani tiure | star wars | blind date w. cami o'connell ( 3 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : imma be so for real and say that they think they're absolutely too good for this lmao, their dad is a crime lord in the city, and really they're just here to take advantage of some free drinks and maybe check in on some clients. her date is going to have to be okay with her being slightly stuck up but will absolutely be down for some dancing despite it. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : sofia robbin sloan torres, ellie williams, cami o'connell
beatrice | over the garden wall | date w. wirt ( 1 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : going with her favorite boy loser, wirt. definitely here just for the free party and to do something fun, now that she's human again she's taking advantage of all the things they missed out on as a bird. will definitely be here to make friends, they're a little rude at times but i promise they're kind when you get past the kind of rude exterior !!! down for shenanigans !! potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : xiao chiye
branwen | a court of thorns and roses | blind date w. enola holmes ( 1 / 4 )
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she/her pronouns : winnie LOVES THIS, she hasn't gotten to have fun in pretty dresses in ages, she was still young the last time they were able to have any kind of formal party so they're really enjoying this. she wants to see everything this party has to offer so she'll be dragging her date around everywhere, wanting to take it all in potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : he xuan
daniela dimitrescu | resident evil | blind date w. jeremy smith ( 2 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : ok tbh, daniela only came to this and signed up for a blind date to possibly grab an easy snack. they're a man-eating monster idk what anyone expected here. but tbh, once they saw the girl she's actually simping over (and will not make a move yet for one reason or another) they're going to be flirting and going so far to make her jealous, it doesn't matter with who tbh. also open to some absolute chaos if you wanna do something Bad potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date (for murder purposes)
starters : myri tiure, henry creel
danika fendyr | crescent city | flying solo ( 3 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : listen danika like.. just got here, she's just getting used to the city and her memories again with her friends, since so much happened back home. she's spending the majority of her time crashing her bestie's date, for various reasons, but will be out on the floor dancing and drinking as much as she wants, enjoying the hell out of a free party potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : bryce quinlan, apple caramela, hunt athalar
elain archeron | a court of thorns and roses | date w. lucien vanserra ( 2 / 4 )
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she/her pronouns : this is elain's first ball in the city, and she's very much looking forward to a night where she can just dress up in a beautiful dress and dance with her husband. things have been... rough with her family unit so she's just happy to let loose a little bit and enjoy everyone's company and dance the night away potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : lu junyi, lucien vanserra
evangeline ennar | throne of glass | blind date w. choi nam ra ( 2 / 4 )
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she/her pronouns : evangeline grew up in a high fantasy world, getting dressed up in fancy clothes for a ball is all she could've hoped for coming here, and now she's old enough to really enjoy it, she is going to be having the best time for real. will be helping her mom glare at her not dad, but other than that, she would love some friends so just dance around with all night potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : choi nam ra, aedion ashryver
kaya dura | star wars | blind date w. lola flemming ( 2 / 4 )
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they/she pronouns : kaya is not really in the dating and dancing mood, they are still getting over their ex after a very hard breakup, where her ex killed her and all that fun stuff. so, they're really trying to like.. get themselves out there and get over her, so they signed up for this blind date and are forcing themselves out into public again. will probably get drunk for the first time and just want to forget everything to have fun potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : kaiden monsula, kasil monsula
keelan cardulo | fourth wing | date w. mira sorrengail ( 0 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : lowkey her and mira's first public appearance as a couple, especially after everything that happened back home that resulted in keelan's death, she is very much looking forward to getting to dance with their girlfriend and just enjoy that. is a bit anti social if they don't know you, so when mira is inevitably somewhere else, find them hanging to the shadows potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters :
leia organa | star wars | date w. han solo ( 3 / 4 )
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she/her pronouns : mom and dad night out!!! leia's a mom of six now, and while ya know four of the six are adults with some having children of their own, and the other 2 are less than six months old, she just wants to have a little fun. the past year has been.. hard. and despite being the president and having to be here for this ball, she would so much rather be home right now, avoiding all the memories that valentine's day now brings out in her mind. last year was the worst night of her life and she will in fact be drinking a lot to forget all that bastilla did a year ago. #thereturnoffloorgana potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : din djarin, ahsoka tano, winter celchu
louise vance | harry potter | date w. thea hughes ( 4 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : a party???? hell yeah lou is gonna be there, they love this whole vibe. will 100% be testing the limits of security and trying to ride the t rex skeletons and any other shenanigans they can get into. they're here with their best friend in the whole world, thea, and they're definitely just friends, if you see them slow dancing really close that's just what besties do potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : thea hughes, emmeline vance, bucky barnes, willie
marlene mckinnon | harry potter | flying solo ( 2 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : marlene lowkey is working this, and will be having fun but trying to stay focused on her job. she's unaware currently so, they'll just be hanging around with whoever is kind of hiding in the outskirts of the party, could absolutely be convinced to dance/will flirt given the chance, but mostly just here to have a fun day at work potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : dora tonks, esther mckinnon
morrigan | a court of thorns and roses | date w. cassandra dimitrescu ( 2 / 4 )
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she/her pronouns : this thing with cassandra has been a bit of a whirlwind romance, and she's found herself really swept up in the other, and will absolutely be spending a lot of her time in their arms. but considering how her family life has been lately, she will also be checking in on family and doing what she can to make sure reporters aren't going too wild with everything going on with rhys and her family. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : cassandra dimitrescu, rhysand
omega archeron | star wars | date w. kirei monsula ( 1 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : if i had a nickel for every time one of my muses is on a date with their best friend and convincing themselves it's not a date, i'd have 2 nickels-- anyways, omega will be here, fulfilling her role as senator archeron's messy as hell kid, and drunk as shit nearly getting kicked out for shenanigans around the maze, and also perhaps drunkenly making out with their best friend kirei that they've been pining after for years. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : hunter
rosemary winters | resident evil | flying solo ( 1 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : now for my girl that knows she's in love with her best friend but her best friend doesn't know her and is here with another girl!!!!! honestly rose will be in a corner getting so drunk, glaring daggers at mouse's date and wanting nothing more than to be the one dancing with them. please come try to drag them out of this slump they are sulking HARD potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : lyra ayala
rowena ravenclaw | harry potter | date w. hunter ( 1 / 4 )
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she/her pronouns : rowena is uneasy after the last masquerade that happened in the city, and last valentine's day, and will be spending a fair amount of time at hunter's side until she realizes that this is actually safe, that things are normal and she can cut loose a little. will be spending a lot of time dancing and mingling, happy to talk to anyone who needs some friendly conversation, even if she may just info dump at you. is VERY excited that this is at the museum and may spend more time wandering the exhibits than actually dancing. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : arnold
sella palpatine | star wars | date w. allana solo ( 4 / 4 )
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she/her pronouns : oh sella is LIVING FOR THIS. valentine's day is her fucking holiday and she will be making up for how hellish the last one was. considering the fact that her and allana have yet to have a single good date on a holiday, she is going to be spending as much time as possible making her girlfriend twirl her around the dance floor. if anyone needs a dancing partner, sella will also let you spin her :)) she is just here to get a little tipsy and enjoy all the love in the air potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : rey palpatine, steve rogers, sion val palpatine, allana solo
sophie hatter | howl's moving castle | date w. howl pendragon
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she/they pronouns : once again, sophie has been dragged to one of these parties because their husband loves these things far more than she does. howl dressed them, and as long as he agreed to a babysitter, sophie agreed to come to this. they are not the biggest dancer, a bit too self conscious to put themselves out there like that, she doesn't like drawing attention to herself. which is difficult when your husband is wearing a glittery pink suit but... potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : cindy moon
sorrel blackbeak | throne of glass | flying solo ( 2 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : i am planning on letting sorrel get their memories back during the event so she's going to be having a little bit of a time trying to find the rest of the thirteen and reunite now that her memories are back. once that's sorted though, she will be a little anti social but if someone asked her to dance, they're not one to say no. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : asterin blackbeak, manon blackbeak
tatum riley | scream '96 | blind date w. conrad fisher ( 2 / 4 )
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she/her pronouns : tatum is just trying to put herself out there, to enjoy some good things in the city, even if she's a little on edge with just throwing herself into a blind date roulette, she knows she's gotta get out of her comfort zone so she's going to make the most of this party and enjoy the heck out of it. even if that means someone's gotta drive her ass home cause she's gonna be gone potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : sam carpenter, jake wheeler
vesta starkos | star wars | blind date w. riley matthews ( 1 / 4 )
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she/they pronouns : listen vesta is unaware and super normal right now, and she wants to dance with a pretty girl. even if she's a little sus of all the people who keep staring at her like they know her, they just wanna dance and have a little fun, to cut loose instead of thinking about school. is up for some shenanigans and drunken adventures if people are down potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : ramona flowers
victoria sutherland | twilight | date w. james witherdale ( 2 / 4 )
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she/her pronouns : vic will never pass up an opportunity to dress sexy and dance on her mate, she has absolutely zero shame and does not care who is watching them. she also loves to use these events as a perfect little hunting ground. vic will probably be upset that it's not turning into a nightmare but, she can make it a nightmare if she really gets that bored. until then? she will be annoyingly hanging all over her mate all night. potential plots ➛ drinking (not alcohol) || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date (for a drink ;) )
starters : heidi volturi, bella swan
violet sorrengail | fourth wing | date w. xaden riorson ( 2 / 4 )
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she/her pronouns : did violet show up to this ball 90 minutes late, looking very flushed? yes. is she going to talk about it at all? absolutely not, her siblings are here and her friends can infer what's going on. now that she's here, vi will be happy to dance and enjoy the party with her friends and just get a few moments of normalcy considering the ticking timebomb her life has turned into, she is going to be savoring any moment of normal young adulthood with her family and friends thank you potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date
starters : sgaeyl, xaden riorson
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mcrcki · 10 months ago
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"so it'll be almost easier to help them at the hotel." there had to be a bright side to this. and if she couldn't find one, charlie was sure as shit going to fucking make one. if that started with just knowing that her hotel could help people before they even died? then that was where it would all grow from. even if all of this came crumbling down when the angels decided they had had enough being cast out, or if the exterminations started here? then it was worth it for a few months.. she had her family, her friends.. wasn't that enough for now? her father's comment caught her off guard, bringing her out of that moment of finding an upside as confusion flashed across her face. "those angels are not stronger than you, dad. i watched you take down adam with barely a punch.. if they showed up here, do you really think they could beat us? when they'd be so worried about all the humans around?" charlie knew, in comparison to even her friends, she was naive, she was too optimistic, but if the angels came to hunt them down, charlie figured they would at least stand some sort of chance.. they didn't have the same numbers but would all of them come down to attack if they were on earth? "i got through to emily! i had their attention! we were so close, dad! emily and i were getting through to them, adam and lute fucked it--" maybe it was all a loss, maybe it didn't really matter in the end, but she had changed just one angel's mind that day.. maybe she could have done more with more time. but as her father spoke again, as he explained the situation, charlie felt her face falling. "they really hate you that much?" she knew the stories, she knew her father's reputation, but to twist the story so that he was the villain? when all he had done was protect her.. "i can't let you take that fall, dad. not alone. i'm just as much to blame as you are." she wouldn't let any of her friends be the ones in danger, but if she could stop her father from bearing the brunt of that? she would. a sigh followed his request, nodding. "okay.. but i'm not staying on the sidelines forever, i can handle this, okay?"
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the optimism she had for every situation she found herself in... fuck, had he been like that once? had he been this hopeful for their situation when he was young? if he had, he'd lost it long before she was born, but he'd do whatever he could to keep her from being crushed in that same way. she didn't deserve to go through all of that if he could prevent it. "it can't be as bad. not everyone here uses free will to kill and destroy everything they can." and he can admit that he'd been wrong about some of the denizens of hell, but some of the others... he didn't think they even desired redemption, much less were capable of it. "i know it's not, but there's only so much we can do. they're more powerful than we are." and while he'd support charlie's goals, he held no illusions about their ability to go to war and win in their current state. "we should be! but they'll never listen! you've seen that with your own eyes now, all we can do is fight to protect the ones that want to be better and hope that we can prove you right." his expression turns serious, looking charlie directly in the eyes. "i guarantee you his armies spread a very different story in heaven. if it comes up, i killed him, do you understand me, charlie? adam being killed by a low level sinner makes them look bad, and they'll be more willing to attack us. no one would doubt i did it, and it'll come down on me, not you and the hotel." he'd take the fall, he would have killed adam if charlie hadn't stopped him, and he'd severely injured the exorcist before his death, so if it came down to him facing the consequences or charlie and her friends facing them, he knew which he'd pick. "yes, exactly. we can try, but i don't want you to risk yourself until we understand the situation we're in, okay?"
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mcrcki · 11 months ago
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"this is kinda lame, right? i mean, do they really expect all of us to pile in here and then nothing happens? when was the last time we've all been summoned into one building and the whole place didn't erupt, cause i'm actually going to be a little pissed if it's just a regular gala." daniela said as they sipped at their wine, leaned against the column nearest to them.
@mischiefxmuses for henry creel
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mcrcki · 11 months ago
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"oh we are so late--" violet looked down at her phone as she noticed how empty the front hall was, her other hand locked in xaden's as they made their way into the party, that was very much already underway. "do you think anyone is going to notice if we just slip in now?"
@tragcdysewn for xaden riorson
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mcrcki · 11 months ago
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"so.. you came with your girlfriend?" sella hadn't seen her brother much, the last time they spoke she knew she had sort of gone off on him over the self loathing that was going on. but, she just wanted a normal night. one night where her and her family could get alone. "what's her name again? ashlyn?"
@mischiefxmuses for sion val palpatine
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mcrcki · 10 months ago
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"yeah, i guess that's a good way to look at it. i just keep thinking about all the other parties that've gone to shit, ya know?" if nothing else, rose was a little on edge over the whole thing, worried something was going to go wrong. "yeah, not tonight at least." she followed his gesture towards ororo, smiling. "oh, she's very pretty--"
"Nothing wrong with coming to these things solo. An opportunity to meet people." Charles smiled at her. He spent most of the time not in a couple that he had grown used to being solo. "Well it's good to see you so I'm glad you're not sitting at home alone." He adjusted his posture in his chair. "I am yes. Her name is Ororo." He motioned towards where Ororo was.
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mcrcki · 11 months ago
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"well, at least they try to keep this place entertaining enough." vic said as she moved to sit beside heidi, untouched glass resting in front of her, having only grabbed it to keep up appearances. "enjoying yourself, heidi?"
@drvcxrys for heidi volturi
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mod-jazzy · 10 months ago
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Happy Valentine's Day! - Love Alaxia
He hasn't ever given a card before, he had a friend help him pick it out and was unaware of the puns until this exact moment. Help him (dont) Enjoy some flowers and a small bouncy ball (that came with the card)
[ Inaris belongs to @inaris-pokemon-world ]
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mcrcki · 11 months ago
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"hey, sam." tatum smiled as she came to stand next to the other, having not had a chance to actually talk to the other in a few weeks, wanting to check in on her again. "how're you doing? come here with a date or?"
@drvcxrys for sam carpenter
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mcrcki · 10 months ago
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her arm is caught in his grip before she can react, before she can get any sort of distance between them and her heart leaps into her throat. narrowed eyes scan between his grip and his blaster, nostrils flaring as she tries to calm the deep seated fear, one that she'd locked away long ago. cad bane had become something of a boogey man to omega, a man that haunted her mind, that he would come back to make up for all the lost credits her escaping had caused.
"keep the safety on and we won't have a scene." she responded finally, yanking her arm free from his grip as she moved to sit down again, knowing there was no backing away from this. she'd have to face it one way or another. "if you're looking to catch up with the rest of the bad batch, i can go grab hunter now. i'm sure he'd love to see you, bane. otherwise, i think you'll find you have no friends here."
Cad Bane had waited for this moment. The feeling of satisfaction when it had dawned upon Omega that he had found them. They had cost him a job, and that meant costing him credits. He never forgot those sort of things. There was no Bad Batch of clones here this time, and there was certainly no Fennec.
He grabbed his side, it wasn't enough to throw him off his game, but it was surely enough to make him agitated. He grabbed their arm quickly. He tightened his grip to their arm as he let out a callous smile. With a swift movement, he lifted his jacket enough to show his signature blaster, making sure it was only in the view of the two of them. "I'd like to not cause a scene." He said with a sense of mockery, "I just want to catch up with an old friend, maybe learn the whereabouts of some of our other mutual friends."
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actuallysaiyan · 11 months ago
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ActuallySaiyan's St. Valentine's Day 2024 Event!
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Forever, until my life is through Girl, I'll be loving you forever
Welcome to the St. Valentine's Day event of 2024~ This is dedicated to all my lovely moots and supporters and readers, but a very special thank you to @loko4koko who is such a sweetheart and really amped up the excitement for this event!
Start sending in your requests now and they will be posted on the days leading up to Valentine's Day! Please note that any requests not finished before the big day will probably not be posted! Thanks for your understanding!
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Rules:
Please follow the rules that go according to my blog, you can find them here
Please be as concise and clear in your request as possible.
Pick one of the prompts/scenarios from the list below. 
One request per person please.
Pick a character/blorbo you’d love to spend Valentine's day with! Here is a list of fandoms I write for
If you aren’t sure if I write for that character/fandom, feel free to message me/inbox me beforehand just to make sure.
Be sure to mention if you want NSFW or SFW.
You can choose whether or not Character/blorbo will be taking the place of the main character of the drabble or the reader will.
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Prompts/Scenarios
Please note that the drabbles that result of this might not be accurately depicting the prompts. These are just ideas to get the story going.
Reader/Character is making some chocolates for their loved one on Valentine’s Day!
Reader/Character wants to spend Valentine’s Day alone, but their loved one is going to change their mind on that!
Reader/Character plans to propose to their loved one on Valentine’s Day!
Reader/Character writes their loved one a Secret Admirer’s note and tries to deliver it discreetly. They are caught by their loved one!
Reader and Character share a loving Valentine’s Day kiss they will never forget!
Reader/Character begrudgingly go to a speed dating event and meet their loved one!
Reader/Character tries to plan the most romantic Valentine’s Day, but everything falls through and they have to try and improvise to impress their loved one!
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dorelia23 · 11 months ago
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I'm not actually mad about this one because I would be willing to talk about the person I love for eight hours.
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daydreamsfm · 2 years ago
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                he’s  been  dedicated  to  his  plan  since  he  entered  the  event.  brown  hues  circulating  the  place  as  his  ears  stayed  alert  to  what  those  around  him  were  saying.  hand  is  quick  to  reach  out  ,  grasping  tightly  to  the  sleeve  of  the  other  ,  pulling  them  into  the  coat  closet  with  a  slightly  strained  effort.  “  fuckin’  hell  ,  it’s  like  you’ve  actively  been  hiding.  ah  —  no  !  no  ,  don’t  give  me  that  look  ,  tayo  abiola.  you  will  stand  here  and  you  will  talk  to  me.  ”  hand  pressed  tightly  against  the  door  ,  refusing  the  other  exit.          (   +   @tayoes​   )
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mcrcki · 11 months ago
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"so do i get to still ask you to dance, or are you sticking by your date's side?" the specific word came out a little more bitter than daniela had actually planned it to, raising an eyebrow at myri as they appeared beside them. maybe they had signed up for the date after hearing myri did just to make them jealous, though it wasn't as if dani would admit that to.. well, anyone. not even themself. "your choice."
@wvsteria for myri tiure
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mcrcki · 10 months ago
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"dinosaurs it is then." daniela wasn't into this whole thing, and really just wanted something fun to do with her food before they ate, but maybe it would be easier to just get into it. "i think it's through here."
Jeremy nods. "Works for me. Could see the dinosaurs." It feels obvious blind dates aren't Jeremy's thing. Or if it isn't. . .Jeremy discovered it's not his thing."
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peapod20001 · 1 year ago
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Bro I’m </3 thinking too hard </3
#vent#ugh. artfight. bullshit. fucking shit#I would rather have banter with my friends than draw for people that don’t care#but alas. the all consuming art game#I love drawing for people in theory but I hate how it makes me feel. do you understand what I mean by this#idk what it is but the fact art fight starts TOMORROW has me feeling like a worthless sack of shit#and that feeling is only heightened by the fact that everyone is going to be invested in it while I fucking crumble for what? the 3rd?#4th year in a row?? god. fucking sucks. I get so in my head with this bullshit every year. but I want to do it#ugh. awful. and I feel worse when people make me things and then I don’t get to send something back#awful gross beast. and now I’m just feeling worse thinking about other things. I’m so overwhelmed#and not a damn person to talk to cus 1. there’s no one to listen and 2. I can’t articulate my feelings! I don’t understand myself!#the only reason I know how to act is because I do research for my fucking characters! I’m my own fucking character!#and I wish someone was there to make me feel special like how I (hypothetically) make my ocs feel!!#ugh. whatever I’m cool and fine and dandy and NOT on the verge of tears and I’m going to eat fucking jellybeans#am I going to have a breakdown every time there’s a Holliday or event? I canNOT be caught feeling like a fucking ball of lint every#valentines day dawg. I can’t be that person. I already did that one time too many ok#how’s it feel to have people enjoy talking to you? cus I’m either too much or not enough for people
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