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Soulmates (Hirai Momo & Myoui Mina x M!Reader)
I FINALLY finished writing this. I'm done, I'm never writing a one shot this long again.
Read part 1: Love Warning (smut)
Word Count: 7,004
1 month after the events of "Love Warning"
As you were sitting in your office you got a phone call on your office phone.
"Hello?"
"You know what I'm calling for Y/N."
You took a deep sigh, hung up the phone, and made your way to Momo's office.
Ever since you took back the job you quickly realized why you wanted to quit in the first place. The only thing keeping you was the promise of sex with your boss.
Knocking on her door you waited for her to say "Come in." before you went in. "Go ahead close the door and lock it for me Y/N." she told you and you obliged.
"What's wrong Y/N is something on your mind?"
"It's nothing." you state as you make your way over to her.
"You suck at lying just tell me Y/N."
"No really I'm fine."
"I won't let you lick my pussy ever again if you don't tell me what's bothering you. Now tell me what's wrong."
You sighed, there was no getting past her. "Look it's just that I feel like doing this job is wearing me down. The only thing keeping me here is-"
Momo cut you off "Shh no need to say more Y/N I understand. I'm sorry I never paid much attention to your needs. How about you take a week off and I'll have Mina cover your work. Will that work for you?"
"Would that really be fine?"
"It'll be fine. Don't worry I'll let Mina yell at me."
"But who will take over Mina's work?"
"I can do it."
"No Momo I can't take a break if it means that you will have a bigger work load."
"Y/N I'm your boss and it's my job to make sure your mental health is okay. So please let me do this for you."
You knew there was no convincing her otherwise.
"Alright."
"Go ahead and go home and I'll go ahead and call Mina to tell her about her work change."
"Thank you Momo."
You walked out the door and headed to your office to grab your things before you went home.
"H-Han? Why are you in my office?"
"I've been looking for you Y/N."
"Why?"
"I just wanted to check up on you. Lately you've been behaving a little more ... I don't know how to say this without it coming off as weird but I feel as if you've been a little more depressed recently. I just wanted to check up on you maybe ask if you wanted to hangout with me on my lunch break."
"Han I don't know what to say."
Even if you didn't say it you were a little touched by the fact that Ji-sung noticed your struggle. Even Momo who you saw every day didn't notice. Though it was likely that she didn't notice cause she was too busy giving you head.
"Shit did I miss the mark Y/N? I'm sorry that was unprofessional of me."
"No Han it's fine really. But I should tell you that I got a week off from work so my mental health should be fine."
"I'm glad to hear that. Just call me if you ever need someone to complain to."
"Will do."
Suddenly Han's phone buzzed and he pulled it out to check it.
"Damn it."
"What happened?"
"Lee Know is upset I didn't finish my work yesterday."
"Good luck with that."
Han left the room and you started to collect your things.
When you finished collecting your stuff you started heading out but before you could even make it out of your office doors you ran into yet another coworker.
"Mina what are you doing here?"
"So you're going on break for a week?"
Ignoring your question to ask her own ... typical.
"Answer my question first asshole."
"Feisty today huh? Would you do the same if I was Momo?"
"Quit yapping and get to the point."
"Don't you know patience is a virtue? But fine I'll cut to the chase, do you live alone Y/N?"
"Yeah I live alone."
"Good give me your address now."
"Why?"
"Don't you think it's time for you to call someone else your mommy? Momo is focused on giving you pleasure but no one has focused on giving you pleasure. I just want to give that to you."
"What's your relationship with Momo?"
"If you give me your address I'll answer your questions."
"I'll text it to you Mina."
"It wasn't that hard now was it Y/N?"
She smiled at you before she left your office.
You still had many questions to ask her. What was her relationship with Momo and why was she so interested in you?
"I'll think more about it when I get home." you thought to yourself.
-
Once you arrived home you went straight to bed exhausted from the work you've been doing without even bothering to change your clothes.
Before you could fall asleep you heard a knock coming from your front door not long after you laid down on your bed.
"Who the fuck is knocking, why can't they leave me alone?"
Getting up and making your way to the front door. You opened the door and saw Ji-min (Karina) on the other side.
"Karina why are you here and not at work?"
"Today is my day off. The real question is why are you here?"
"I'm on a week break."
"Why?"
You didn't want to tell more people than you should. Karina was the type of coworker that couldn't keep her mouth shut about anything. Not long after she mistakenly thought you hit on Mina she started to talk about it with everyone which started a rumor that you had a crush on Mina.
A few of your coworkers brought it up to you and you had to explain the situation to them. Though you were unsure if the rumors ever reached Momo or Mina.
"I just want a break from work."
"I feel that. So how's it going with Mina?"
"Karina!"
"What? I just want to know if you took any of the advice I gave you."
"Are you just here to bother me?"
"No I'm not, how about you let me in your house."
You moved out of the way and let her in. Karina walked in and walked around your house.
"It's rather small no?"
"Yeah, well I don't want a big place."
"Won't you get bored if you stay here all week?"
"I'll manage."
"Y/N that's sad. How about we go to an event at the end of the week?"
"Event?"
"There's an event going on tonight down the street called "Soulmates". A select few of people will be accepted and get the chance to mingle with others who were accepted."
"I'm not interested."
"Come on if your not going to talk to Mina you might as well try to see if you can get a girlfriend."
"I'll think about it."
"Today's the last day they'll take submissions though!"
"Whatever just sign me up yourself."
"No you have to do it yourself!"
"Why?"
"Because they'll want to interview you."
A low groan came out of your mouth and you knew Karina wouldn't leave you alone unless you agreed.
"Let's go then."
"Would it kill to be able to relax?"
...
Once you arrived at the place where the "Soulmates" event would be taking place Karina led you to the registration area.
There weren't as many people as you thought there would be but then again today was the last day so most people probably already signed up beforehand.
Once it was your turn you walked into the room and sat in front of a woman who was holding a clipboard.
"Please state your full name and what sex you identify as."
"Y/N L/N and I'm a guy."
"Do you prefer Men, Women, or Non-binary?"
"Uhm ... Women I think."
"What's your current occupation."
"I work as a secretary."
"Can you state for which company?"
"Tdoong Entertainment."
"A lot of applications from people who work there it seems." The woman said as she wrote on her clipboard.
"Wait there are others who signed up from the company?"
"Can you say who else who works at Tdoong Entertainment signed up for this event?"
"Sorry sir but I can't share that."
"That's fine."
"Anyways let's continue, so what would you say you're looking for in a partner?"
"Well..."
-
Once you finished answering all her questions she let you go and you met up with Karina.
"So how did it go?"
"I don't think they'll accept me."
"Why not?"
"I feel like she wasn't impressed by my answers."
"Don't say that Y/N I'm sure you'll be accepted."
"By the way the lady mentioned that other people from the company have signed up for the event. Do you know who else signed up?"
"Well other than me I have no idea who else could have signed up."
"I guess it's not my business regardless."
"Want to hangout at your place Y/N?"
As much as you wanted to tell Karina to go home you didn't want to sound rude by denying her offer.
"Sure let's go."
You and Karina headed back towards your house and you told yourself that you didn't really care if you got accepted. After all your having sex with Momo who you find attractive after all. Sure you both aren't "Official" but who cares?
Though you might not want to admit it you really wanted someone who could understand you and support you emotionally. You didn't care about sex with Momo, if she couldn't understand you were experiencing emotional distraught until you directly told her was she really your soulmate?
Once you both arrived at your house you went to sit on the couch and Karina followed you.
"So what are we doing Y/N?"
"Can you just leave me alone?" is what you wanted to tell her.
"Let's just watch a show yeah?"
"Okay, what do you want to watch?"
"How about you pick?"
Karina grabbed the controller sitting on the table and turned on your T.V. "What genre are you feeling?"
"Anything."
She gave you a sly smirk and put on a movie.
You didn't necessarily care about what she put on. Sitting back and closing your eyes trying to finally get some rest.
Unsure of how long you had your eyes closed you were suddenly waken up by the feeling that someone was wrapping their arms around you.
"Karina what are you doing?"
"Look at the movie Y/N."
Looking up to see the movie you saw it was a couple who were talking to each other in a bedroom.
"What about it?"
"Keep watching."
You kept your eyes on the movie but had issues hearing and watching the movie because you were still a bit hazy after waking up.
As the movie went on it suddenly turned explicit as the people in it were quickly discarding their clothes and were being intimate with each other.
It made you a little hot watching such an explicit movie to begin with but now you were watching it with a coworker.
Your cock was getting a bit hard and you were getting worried Karina would notice.
"Can we skip this scene? I'm not a big fan of explicit movies." You asked but Karina didn't answer your question.
Out of the blue you felt hands on your thigh. You looked down and saw that they were Karina's and they were inching closer to your cock.
You were getting nervous and tried to take her hands off of you but you weren't able to pry them off.
Karina's hands were now directly touching your clothed cock and your face was burning red. For the first time since her hands were on your thighs you turned to Karina.
"Y/N you know you can ask me for anything right?"
Unable to control your urges you latched your lips onto hers.
A heated exchange between both of you started and both of your tongues started exploring the others mouth living in the moment.
Your hands reached up for Karina's breasts and you gave them a firm squeeze which elicited a moan from her.
She wasn't about to forget about her own desires and started to rub your clothed cock which made you let out a low groan.
Now your heated exchange was getting sloppy with saliva pouring out of both of your mouths. You pulled away and now rubbed your tongue with Karina's as you changed your hand to the other breast and started to rub them.
You really wanted to tear off her clothes and feel her naked body. Karina however was already ahead of you. She started to pull up her shirt making it half way before you helped her take off the rest, throwing it, and leaving her in her black bra.
Reaching around her body you unclasped her bra letting them fall to the floor. Not wasting your chance you shoved your face in between Karina's breast and used one of your hands to squeeze her ass and the other you used to rub her clothed pussy.
"Ugh ~ Ah" Karina moaned. Her voice echoed throughout your house. Your tongue started to run all over Karina's massive breast and you were determined to make them sopping wet.
Karina moved her hands down your body and slid your pants off your body. She grabbed a hold of your hardened cock through your underwear and started to quickly pump it.
Your face was shoved so deep into Karina's breast that you were basically suffocating but in all honesty you wouldn't mind your final moments being spent in her breasts.
Karina however wasn't about to let that happen and pulled you away. You took a big gasp of air as you were finally able to properly breath for the first time since you shoved yourself in her breasts.
"Why did you pull me away?"
"There is still so much more pleasure to have."
Karina removed your underwear and her remaining clothing then proceeded to sit on your cock. "Ah your cock is stretching me out so damn good Y/N."
She started to ride you moving herself up and down. It drove you crazy how good her pussy felt.
"I bet Momo never fucked you this good!"
She could. But you didn't want to tell Karina that Momo fucked you better due to the fear that she might stop.
"Y-yeah ... totally."
Both of you were now sweating and you took the chance to lick her nipples which were being covered in her sweat. But did you even care?
"Your breasts are so soft and addicting."
"And you can play with them anytime Y/N. Just give me a call and I'll come right over."
Your cock was twitching and Karina took notice. She sped up her movements and you started to suck on her breasts harder.
Wrapping your hands around her body to pull her closer. The intense moment carried on for a few more seconds until both of you ended up cumming on each other.
Both of you were now sweaty and filthy. Your stress from your job seemingly faded as you released your cum into Karina's pussy.
The key word being seemingly. Truth be told sex was only a temporary fix. Eventually it would all come back again eventually and the stress would be stronger.
Though you weren't thinking of that at the moment. Your only concern was the woman who was sitting on you.
Karina stood up and reached out her hand to you.
"We're not done."
Even though you were exhausted you did want to have another round with her.
You grabbed her hand and she pulled you up. Both of you were having issues keeping balance while standing so you were both leaning on each other for support.
She led you to a wall and bent over for you. "Go ahead and fuck my ass Y/N."
Shoving your hardened cock into Karina you messed up her insides. Thrusting in and out at a rapid pace you were fondling with her breasts as you messed up her insides.
"Why do I listen to you so much?"
"Y/N is now really the time to ask these questions?"
You gave her breasts a rough squeeze.
"I just don't know if going to the soulmates event is a good idea."
"You're never going to get the chance to go if you don't cum in me."
Forcing yourself as deep as possible into her ass you came inside of her. Your cum was spilling out of her making a small puddle on the floor.
You pulled out and made your way back to the couch to fall asleep.
-
There was a loud banging on your door that woke you up. You checked the time and saw it was 2:30 AM. Who could be at your door at this hour.
Making your way to your door you opened the door and saw Mina on the other side.
"Why are you here?"
Mina's face went a little red.
"Why do you sleep naked?"
"What are you-"
You looked down and noticed that you didn't have clothes on. Suddenly you remembered that you had sex with Karina.
Quickly closing the door you rushed to your room and quickly put some clothes on. "Karina must have left after I fell asleep."
Going back downstairs to open the door for Mina and let her in your house.
"So do you sleep naked or were you having a one night stand?"
"Neither."
You led her to your kitchen and both of you took a seat.
"You don't have to lie to me."
"I don't owe you anything."
"Whatever, I'm here to answer your questions that you've had for me. After all that was apart of the deal for you giving me your address."
"Oh yeah."
"So what do you want answers to."
"How did you know Momo was going to have sex with me?"
"Are you talking about the first time you came to talk to me in my office?"
"Yes."
"I have history with her."
"What history?"
"Well ..." She took a deep sigh.
"I didn't think I'd ever tell anyone this but I guess I have to now."
You were still sleepy after getting woken up at night but you forced yourself to stay awake. You had to know more about Mina.
"Look before you were hired I had your position. I dealt with the same shit you have to right now and just like you I got tired of the job. I was going to quit and similar to you she begged me to stay ruining her health all for the sake of the company."
She suddenly stopped talking. Taking a moment to collect her thoughts. "Do you mind if I grab a glass of water?"
"Go ahead."
Mina got up and got herself a glass of water. Taking a sip before she continued.
"I was worried about her just like you."
"So does she do this with everyone?"
"I don't know but I don't think so."
"What happened next?"
"Well I did the same thing you did. And she also had sex with me just like you. She promised to do it with me whenever as long as I stayed. But then you were hired."
Mina gripped the glass cup. Taking another sip before continuing.
"Since you had more qualifications than me I got demoted and the deal I had with Momo was off and her focus was all on you."
"Is that why you didn't care about her?"
"Yes that's exactly why. Truth be told I only offered having sex with you for my own benefit."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I figured that if you preferred having me over Momo then I could convince you to quit and I would be able to be her secretary again. That way I could have Momo to myself."
"Wait were you just going to leave me after you did all this."
"You want the truth?"
"Yes."
"Yes I would have left you if my plan succeeded."
"I appreciate the honesty but damn."
"Well I originally came her to have sex with you but I'm sure you don't to after hearing it is only for my benefit."
"We could do it for fun."
"Yeah right Y/N. No offense but I don't like men."
"I understand. You're free to sleep here though I'm sure your tired."
"No I'm good."
"Suit yourself."
"I'll see you next week Y/N."
"See you."
Mina left your house leaving you alone once again.
"Guess I can scratch her off my potential "Soulmate" list."
The next day came and you weren't sure what to do. You settled on laying on your bed watching a movie when you suddenly received a message on your phone.
"Congrats Y/N you've been accepted to attend the "Soulmates" event happening at the end of the week! For further details please click on the link attached to this message"
You looked at the message and finally made your decision.
"I'm going to the Soulmates event."
-
The week flew by and you were waiting for the day the soulmates event would start.
On the day before the event was going to start you heard a knocking on your door. You went to open the door and to your surprise you saw Momo.
"Momo? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
"I'm having someone else cover it. Besides I think we need to talk anyway."
"Talk about what?"
"You see I've been thinking and ... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."
"What could you possibly be sorry about?"
"I should have realized you were struggling much sooner. And since I didn't I feel like I've been neglecting you in that way."
Your eyes softened. You never blamed anything on Momo after all you were the person who made the decision to stay.
"Don't say that Momo none of what I've been going through was your fault."
"But it is my fault."
You pulled Momo into a hug and held her tightly into your arms.
"Don't say that Momo. You have done nothing wrong but I wouldn't mind if you paid a little more attention to me."
She hugged you back and smiled.
"I can do that for you."
"Thank you."
"Hey Y/N I know that the company is going to be closed tomorrow but I won't be able to be with you tomorrow."
"That's fine I'll be busy myself tomorrow also."
"Really what for?"
"Personal things."
"Okay well take care alright."
"I will."
"See you back to work Y/N! And hopefully with a better mental state."
-
Today was the day the soulmates event was scheduled to happen. You got yourself ready beforehand and were now making your way to the event.
Once you found a parking space you started getting a little anxious. "What if I'm not satisfied with my soulmate? Or what if I don't even get one?" You thought to yourself but you tried to reassure yourself that everything will be fine.
You got out of your car and made your way inside. Once you stepped in you were directed to a room where other participants were.
"The event will start in just a few minutes sir. Feel free to chat with the others though."
Once you were in the room the quickly recognized a few of the people who showed up.
"Momo, Mina, Han, and Karina are all here?"
You didn't recognize the others.
You sat down at a chair next to someone you didn't know.
"Hey my name is Choi Ji-su but you can just call me Lia. What's your name?"
"Names Y/N nice to meet you Lia."
"Based off looks who do you have your eyes on?"
A bit out of the blue question and you weren't sure how to answer.
"Well ... no one really. I think everyone looks equally beautiful."
"That's such a boring answer you know."
"Well who do you have your eyes on?"
She pointed at a girl who was sitting at the far left.
"Her."
You looked at the girl Lia pointed to and you have to admit she was attractive.
"Hello everyone I'd like to welcome you all to today's soulmate event. Everyone here was selected by us. We wanted people who were different to have a chance to mingle with each other. Hopefully you all find a soulmate."
As the woman scanned the room she suddenly had a look on her face. "It seems someone didn't show up. I'm afraid to say that one of you will be walking away without a soulmate."
Everyone started to make their own count and realized she was right. A feeling of worry overcame everyone, after all no one wanted to be the person who left without a soulmate.
"Well regardless we'll move on. So first we'll let everyone have a chance to introduce themselves and then we can move on."
She left the room and everyone looked around to see if anyone would take the lead.
"Well I guess I'll start and we can just go left. Hello my name is Myoui Mina."
"My name is Kaito Yuki."
"Hirai Momo."
"Han Ji-sung."
"Yu Ji-min but I go by Karina."
"Kim Nam-joon but you can call me RM."
"Y/N L/N."
"Choi Ji-su but you can also call me Lia."
"Hwang Yeji."
The women walked back into the room and handed everyone a piece of paper and a pencil.
"Alright everyone I've given you a piece of paper and a pencil. Based on first impressions write down someones name. The person who has the most votes will get to choose 2 people to have lunch with on the top floor. Everyone else will eat here in the dining room. Feel free to write your own name. Give me your paper once you write down a name."
Nobody wrote down a name right away. It seems like everyone is putting some thought into their choice.
Yeji was the first to write a name down and give it to the lady. Afterwards more people started writing names and turning them in. Only a few people still hadn't written a name and you were one of them.
You were struggling to pick someone. There was no way you could find your soulmate based on luck.
"If I had to pick based off my limited interactions then I would have to pick..."
-
"The winner of the popular vote is Mrs. Myoui Mina. Mina once you pick the two people you want to take to lunch with then our staff can escort you to your room."
After Mina quickly scanned the room it wasn't long for her to pick.
"Momo and Y/N."
All three of you were led upstairs and into a room. "Feel free to have a moment to look over our menu. I'll be back in a bit to take your orders."
You and Momo sat next to each other while Mina sat across both of you. The room was silent, everyone was waiting to see who would be the one to speak up first. The silence was deafening.
Momo eventually cleared her throat.
"So Mina why'd you pick us?"
"I feel that I need to ... 'discuss' a few things with you."
"Uh-uhm."
"What are you talking about?"
You stayed silent.
Mina let out a sigh "Momo ... I love you so much. I don't want you to be with Y/N anymore."
Momo's cheeks turned red.
"I - I didn't know you felt that way Mina."
"You're so pretty Momo will you be mine?"
"What's pretty about me?"
"Your soft well kept hair, pretty face, and those massive set of-"
"Screw it Mina I can't wait any longer: kiss me."
Mina got up from her seat and rushed over to Momo. Her tongue slid into Momo's mouth. She put her hands inside of Momo's shirt, sliding her hands up and feeling Momo's abs.
"You're so strong Mo."
Momo smiled at Mina's compliment. She wrapped her hands around Mina's head and pulled her as close as she could.
Unsure of what you should be doing you kept watching the scene unfold in front of you. Part of you felt weird for watching them be intimate with each other but the other part of you couldn't muster up the will to look away. But you couldn't help but notice the difference in the way Momo had sex with you and how she's having it with Mina.
Mina raised her hands up Momo's body. Momo moaned into her mouth as she did so.
Before Mina could finish her foreplay a knock came on the door.
Quickly Mina got off Momo and rushed back to her seat.
"Have you three decided on your order?"
-
Mina and Momo were chatting with each other while you just kept your thoughts to yourself. Momo noticed and decided to rope you into their conversation.
"You want to join us next time Y/N?"
Looking up you saw Mina made a face of disgust at Momo.
"Why are you asking Y/N if he wants to join without asking me first? I don't want to have a threesome with a fucking guy."
"Mina it's rude to invite Y/N and not include him."
"I only invited him here because he was the only other person I knew. I'm not about to have some stranger watch us have sex Momo."
"But Mina-"
"What are you telling me you actually like men?"
"Well no but I kinda made a deal with him."
"Psh fine."
Momo leaned towards you and whispered into your ear. "Between you and me you're not that bad."
Not that bad?
"Th-thanks I guess."
"By the way Y/N if your filthy cock even lightly brushes me I will rip it off your body with my bare hands."
"R-right I understand."
"Damn Mina that's more harsh than I ever went with you or Y/N."
-
Before the next round of voting everyone had to make a gift and give it to someone. The three options were making a ring, mug cup making, and making a perfume.
Making a mug sounded bland but you weren't confident in being able enough to make a ring so you settled on making a perfume.
You sat alone for a long time and were a bit worried you were the only one to pick it until you heard footsteps coming into the room.
"It was Y/N right?"
"Kaito why are you here?"
"Couldn't leave you alone here."
"Well thanks for keeping me company."
"No problem."
You didn't want to sit in silence for the whole time so you decided to make some small talk.
"So where are you from?"
"I'm from Fujioka. I'm a student there actually."
"Really?"
"Yeah ... so where are you from?"
"I'm from ..."
"I've never been there but I'm sure it's nice."
"So who are you interested in?"
"Probably Karina, she was really caring and nice at the lunch we had. What about you, who are you interested in?"
"That's a hard question."
"Why's that? Momo and Mina had lunch with you did neither of them peak your interest?"
"More like they peaked each other's interest."
"Lesbians?"
"Yeah."
"That's good for them. But I guess you're a bit disappointed huh?"
"Its not that I'm just worried that I won't find someone."
"I understand how you are feeling. But maybe the person who your supposed to end up with is someone you haven't met or someone who you're least expecting."
"I don't know Kaito. I mean I was kind of in a relationship but I didn't feel happy afterwards. Only certain moments brought me joy."
"Well maybe you should look for different people. Those who can give you those feelings of happiness as much as possible."
"Thanks for the advice. I'll try to keep it in mind."
You couldn't say someone has necessarily brought you true "happiness". But then again...
-
When it was time to give someone your gift you thought back to Kaito's words.
Who has brought you the most happiness? Is that even measurable? But when you looked at their eyes. You felt relief almost a calming feeling. You walked up to them and handed them the perfume you made.
"Is this for me?"
"For you."
"Th - thank you Y/N I don't know what to say. I wasn't expecting this from you."
You simply smiled when you looked at their face.
"No problem. Besides I don't think I've felt better than when I was able to be around you."
-
Before getting to have everyone pick a soulmate everyone got a chance to talk to someone they wanted to.
Everyone picked the person they had their eyes on and it slowly reached your turn.
"Y/N Momo has requested to speak to you."
"Coming!"
You were led to the room and were left alone with Momo.
"Why'd you request to speak to me?"
"Y/N I know we talked yesterday but I just wanted you to know that I'll try harder for you."
"What are you saying?"
"I - I know you probably don't want me as your soulmate. But I just want you to know that I know I can't pick up on minor details but if you ever wanted to be in a relationship with me then I'd try harder to understand your emotions."
"Momo ... what about Mina?"
"I love her. But I was hoping you'd be okay if I switched between you and her."
-
You were second to last and you took your chance to talk to Lia a bit more. You weren't expecting your name to be called but to your surprise.
"Y/N someone has requested to speak with you."
"Who could possibly request to speak with me?" you thought to yourself. Momo is the only person who you had a romantic connection with so you weren't sure who would call your name.
"H - Han?!"
"Y/N its been a while huh?"
"Why'd you call me up here?"
"Well I just thought I'd get your advice on something."
"Go on."
"Well I was speaking to Karina but I also have been getting close with Yeji. I just don't know who to go for."
You chuckled
"Why are you laughing?"
"I just never thought I'd see you so worried about a relationship."
"Come on I can be fun to!"
"When you first asked to hangout with me I thought you would take me to a brothel."
"Y/N you wound me. You think I'd go to a brothel?!"
"You wouldn't?"
"Unless your taking me I don't think I would. Would you go to one?"
"Who knows maybe I'd go if you were there."
Han's face went a bit red.
"Oh how romantic, I see why Momo likes you Y/N."
"Come on you have to admit that it wasn't that bad of a line!"
-
The way people would pick there soulmate was the following:
One contestant would stand in front of the room looking away from everyone else.
The people who want to be with that person would stand behind them.
The person at the front would then turna round and pick who they want to be their soulmate.
Since only 9 people were there it seemed like one person would go home alone.
It was Mina's turn and only you and Momo were left.
"Let's go Y/N." Momo reached out her hand to you.
Begrudgingly you took her hand and both of you stepped up.
When Mina turned around she was a bit disconsolate to find out Momo was holding hands with you. She knew that if she wanted Momo you would have to also be there.
"Is it fine if I pick these two?"
The staff was rather surprised. No one has ever asked to take two people at the same time.
"Well ... I don't see why not."
Both you and Momo rushed up to Mina and hugged her.
"Ugh you idiot get off me."
Momo let go and backed away.
"No not you the other idiot!"
You couldn't help but laugh.
-
All three of you went to Momo's house after the "Soulmates" event ended.
"I don't get why you want Y/N to be a part of this Momo."
"I owe it to him."
"Just don't come near me Y/N."
Momo and Mina started undressing.
They both wanted to have sex but Momo didn't want to leave you behind.
You started to take your clothes off and Mina looked away.
"At least do it out of my eye sight!"
Once you all got undressed Momo jumped onto Mina.
"Mina you have such a pretty face. Will you let me ruin you?"
"Do whatever you want."
Momo started to give her hickeys. Roughly pressing her lips onto Mina and sucking to mark her. Mina rubbed her fingers on Momo's abs. They weren't as defined as hers but she loved them regardless.
"Your body is so precious Momo I'm so glad I can have you."
Not wanting to be left out you made your way onto the bed, being careful to not accidentally touch Mina and grabbed onto Momo's breasts while having your cock pressed against her back.
"Uh I love your hands Y/N!"
"Your breasts are so big Momo I want you so badly."
Momo had a rather big ego now that both you and Mina were fighting to give her pleasure.
Mina kicked you off the bed and wrapped her legs around Momo's waist. "Don't pay attention to him. Focus only on me."
She pulled Momo in closer and their breasts were pushed up against each other. "Mina I love you." Momo said as she reached for Mina's ass.
You got back on the bed and penatrated Momo's ass with your cock which made her yelp.
"Agh!"
"Momo are you okay?"
"I'm fine Mina."
Momo went down to Mina's breasts and started licking her nipple. "Your body tastes sweet."
"It's only for you to use Momo. Please use my body however you want."
Mina pressed her fingers on Momo's clit lightly and got Momo to moan. She felt the vibration on her nipples.
You sped up your thrusts into Momo's ass and Momo put her fingers into Mina.
"Please Momo go faster I want to cum on your pretty fingers."
Momo smiled and ran her fingers down Mina's sides. "Mina I want to enjoy your body as long as I can."
Mina was breathing rapidly.
Momo switched her attention to Mina's other nipples and started to squeeze the other.
She inserted 4 fingers into Mina and she took in a big breath of air.
"Ah! Momo keep going!"
She started to thrust in Mina at a steady pace and Mina started seeing stars.
Pulling your cock out of Momo you went next to her and pulled her head up.
"What do you-"
She wasn't able to finish speaking before you pressed your lips onto hers.
"Your lips are so soft."
You rubbed your tongue around her lips and Momo put her hand into Mina's mouth making her gag.
Mina's gagging faded into the background as your kissing intensified.
You stood on the bed aligning your cock to Momo's face. Momo took your cock in her warm mouth and ran her tongue around your hard cock.
She was sloppy with it making your cock wet and slippery making it easier to slide in and out of her mouth. You grabbed Momo's head and shoved her into your cock.
Tears ran down Momo's eyes and she was choking on your cock.
Mina wasn't happy with you stealing Momo's attention. She shoved four fingers into Momo.
She was getting overstimulated. Momo got your cock out of her mouth to get a breath of air. She choked up a lot of spit and it fell onto the bed sheets.
"Put your filthy cock back in your pants Y/N. This doesn't involve you."
Mina grabbed Momo and dragged her on top of her body wrapping her arms around her. She switched their positions so she was on top of Momo.
Putting one hand on Momo's breast and using her other hand to shove her fingers in Momo's tight pussy. Thrusting rapidly so she reaches her high faster.
"Mina your so-"
"Perfect? I know Momo don't worry you'll start seeing stars soon."
She sucked on her nipples twirling her tongue on her boob. Momo loved how Mina used her body.
"Momo your so perfect."
She came on her fingers and Mina licked her fingers. "Mhm you taste amazing Momo. I only want to eat this every day."
Momo was glad with the worship she was receiving and started to repay her. Momo put her pussy on top of Mina and shoved her fingers in her again.
Mina licked her pussy shoving her tongue deep into her. Momo couldn't handle it and gave up on thrusting in Mina and started to lick her pussy also.
This scene in front of you was making you horney to the point you started to pump your own cock to make yourself cum.
Momo came all over Mina's face. Mina squished Momo's butt while licking all of Momo's cum that she could reach with her tongue.
Not too long after Mina came all over Momo and she passed out afterwards.
"Momo that was amazing."
"I know Y/N. Want help with that?"
You nodded your head and Momo once again started sucking your cock. She used her hand to fondle your balls.
"Do you really think a three way relationship can work?"
"Of course Y/N I'm your soulmate just as much as I am Mina's."
Pulling out your cock, semen covered Momo's face.
You collapsed into her and she wrapped you around her arms collapsing onto the bed.
"I'll take care of you from now on Y/N."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can you find out who Y/N gave his gift to?
Starring: You Mina, Momo (Twice) Karina (Aespa) Han (Stray Kids) Yeji, Lia (Itzy) Kaito (Jujutsu Kaisen Phantom Parade) RM (BTS)
I apologize if towards the end the pacing felt more rushed. I got tired of working on this and just wanted to move on.
I didn't even proof read this because I'm just so sick of this.
#twice#twice smut#smut#twice x reader#twice imagines#female idol smut#girl group smut#kpop smut#momo smut#mina smut#karina smut#aespa smut
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Priorities
Pairing: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Illness/comfort
Summary: When Quinn gets a text from you 2 hours before his game, he shows where his priorities lie when he drops it all for you.
Series: Teacher Reader series
Notes: I am not very well atm and I had to drive home dizzy from work the other day, the idea of Quinn being there to help has been stuck in my head so have some self indulgence from me.
A kind of sequel to In Sickness and in Health but you don't need to read that to read this.
Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)
Writing Masterlist
He's already at the rink getting ready for the game in the locker room when his phone goes off. You don't actually ring him, clearly doing that thing you always do where you're trying to not bother him on a game day, instead you send a quick text message. He expects the usual:
'Good luck on the game today, baby!'
Instead, the text he gets has him picking his phone up and calling you back in an instant, worry clouding his judgement and making his hands shake slightly.
'Hey, so guess who's being sent home because she's dizzy and can't breathe? I had my head between my legs for 20 minutes, definitely can't stand and teach. Have a good game x'.
You drop the good luck at the end like he's not supposed to be worried, like you've just casually told him about the weather and not that you we're struggling to breathe.
It doesn't really matter that Tocc is giving him the look, the one he reserves for when he's annoyed at the boys, or that half the locker room have stopped their own pre-game, pre-warm up routines to watch their captain frantically call you. He's pacing back and forth, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waits for you to pick up the phone.
"Quinn?" You sound so incredibly breathless its like listening to an asthmatic 80 year old who's smoked for half their life. Except you don't smoke and you're not asthmatic or 80 which makes the whole situation about 10 times worse because you shouldn't be struggling to breathe. You should be doing better today.
You've been ill, he knows this, a chest infection he forced you to get meds for on the weekend. Meds which should have started working by now, a heavy dose of antibiotics and steroids which were supposed to have helped. You'd felt well enough this morning to go in and give work another go, but he regrets letting you do that now. Clearly trying to stand up in front of teenagers and talk was not something you should have been doing, not when the school day had only started half an hour ago and you were already being sent home.
"Baby, are okay?" You're sitting on the front steps of the school with all your things when you answer the phone to Quinn's worried voice. You keep telling yourself you just need a minute, just a minute and then you won't feel so dizzy, won't feel so breathless. Just a minute and the tingles in your fingers will go and your hands will stop shaking so much. Just a minute and then you can drive home and get into bed.
"Y-yeah, I'm...I'm just breathless. I'll be okay...they're...they're covering my...my lessons and..." You stop for a minute, taking big deep breathes, you sound so laboured on the phone that Quinn can't help but clench his phone tighter in his hand, "and I'm going home now." Your breaths are wheezy, just like Saturday, in fact he's certain you sound worse.
"How are you getting home?" He knows the answer before you say it and he hates it before he even hears it. You're dizzy and breathless and there is no way you should be driving home at all, but he knows you. Self-reliant to a fault, a martyr, always pushing yourself past the point of no return because you think you're fine, because you convince yourself you're fine. Because you don't want to inconvenience anyone or cause more problems. You ask to little of people around you, expecting barely anything despite all you give.
"I'm...I'm going to...to drive."
"No. You're not. I'm going to come get you." You want to protest a lot more than you do if you're being honest. But, you're so tired and it's so hard to breathe and students wandering in late to school are staring at you like you're having a break down. So your protests are relatively lacklustre by your usual standard. That actually worries him more.
"It's...there's like 2 hours before the game...you've...you've got warm ups soon." You hate the idea of him missing warm ups or god forbid the game, all because you were too stupid to realise you shouldn't have gone into work in the first place.
"So, I'll get you, take you home and come back to the rink and play. I'll walk to the school tomorrow and collect your car so you don't have to worry about it. But, you aren't driving, baby. If you even try to get in that car I will being fucking pissed. I love you, you do not get in that car." You know he's serious in that moment, not just because he's very rarely angry at you or anyone but himself, outside of the rink, but because he's got that clipped tone he only uses when he's serious. This isn't a request, it's a direct order and you have no intention of disobeying it, not when you know he's right...not when it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside that he's so insistent about your wellbeing.
"But, what...what if you miss warm ups?" He loves how much you support him and his hockey, he always will, but he hates that your first thought is that hockey should come first. His girlfriend can barely breathe right now and he quite honestly doesn't give a flying fuck if he misses warm ups. The team had to pull themselves together at some point and you came first. Always. If they couldn't manage warm ups without him then what was the point of paying them so much money?
"Warm ups aren't my priority, baby. You are. Do not get in the car. Do not drive. Do not move. I'm leaving right now, okay? Just sit on the steps of the school and take deep breaths." He's already grabbing his keys, not even bothering to change out of his gear other than putting some proper shoes on so that he can actually drive. He knows it'll spark some speculation and rumours, Captain of the Canucks storming out of the arena 2 hours before puck drop in full gear except his skates, but he doesn't fucking care about that right now.
"...Okay...thank you, Quinny. I love you." You say it because in that moment you have never felt so loved, to have someone drop everything, something so important, to come get you...Maybe its the meds, maybe its the breathlessness, the infection, but you feel like crying a little because of how sweet he is even when he's bossing you about.
"I'll see you soon, baby. I love you too."
He doesn't waste time once he hangs up, just turns straight to Tocc and tells him, "I'll be back."
The look he gets is a mixture of disbelief, frustration and confusion and he really can't blame Tocc for it. Not when Quinn is the captain, the player that seems to make a massive difference on the ice, and he's about to run out the doors 2 hours before the game? Yeah, he knows Tocc doesn't want to hear it.
"Quinn, where you going? We have a game in 2 hours?!" He knows he's going to be cutting it fine with Vancouver traffic and getting to your school, the apartment and back to the arena, but he's not letting you drive. He could live with missing a game, losing a game, but he couldn't live with himself if he let you drive home and something happened. His job was to look after you, if he failed at that? What was the fucking point?
"Tocc, I'll be back. I promise. But, right now my girlfriend is unable to breathe and dizzy and I'm not letting her drive home, okay? Sooner I leave, sooner I come back."
Maybe it's the insistence on Quinn's face, the reality that if he was forced to stay he wouldn't play well anyway. Maybe it's that you and Tocc get along and he can see a hint of concern in the other man's eyes or maybe Tocc just trusts him that much. But, he actually agrees to let him go. Not that Quinn could really be forced to stay. They'd have to tie him to the bench.
"Okay, I'm trusting you."
"Thanks."
Quinn ignores every single person he storms past, every employee, every fan outside, every person with a camera that starts asking him where he's going as he starts his car with one destination in mind. Maybe he seems rude, maybe he seems standoffish, but he doesn't really care because right now you are sat on the steps of a school struggling to breathe and he just wants to see you and get you home and into bed.
He doesn't even care that he knows Tocc is going to be questioned about his absence or that he can already hear his phone pinging with notifications from social media, most likely people asking where he was going and speculating.
'Just saw Quinn Hughes storm out of Rogers Arena in full gear, finally got fed up of his team?'
'Um, is anyone else panicking that Hughes just left the arena like 2 hours before puck drop?'
'Captain Lexapro has officially lost it with this team, just stormed out of the arena!!'
He tries his best not to break any traffic laws getting to you, despite the fact he has a lead foot that wants to press harder on the accelerator. But, he knows you'd hate it and you'd worry more about him getting a ticket, so he just grips the steering wheel tighter until he's turning into the school car park.
He doesn't try to park in a proper space, just pulls up as close to you as possible before hopping out. Your head is between your legs, shoulders rising and falling in laboured breaths and he feels like he's been punched in the stomach at how bad you sound.
"Oh, baby..." He's kneeling on the dirty ground within seconds and you try, through broken gasps to tell him he'll get his hockey socks dirty, but he doesn't listen to you, just reaches to pull you into a hug.
"Let's get you home, okay? Tomorrow we're going back to the doctors, okay?" You're leaning your head into his shoulder so heavily that he's worried you might actually pass out. It's like the moment his arms wrap around you, you just give up on holding yourself up. In truth, that's kind of what happens. You just want to lean into him, soak up the comfort of your boyfriend lighting petting your hair and whispering into your ear.
"Don't y-you have...practice?"
"I think I can fit the doctors in around practice, baby..." He doesn't tell you, but he'd forgo practice for you. He doesn't care about anything but how you're doing and you're not okay. Quinn can see that better than anyone.
"Alright, up you get..." He stands first, hands reaching for yours to help pull you to your feet. You sway before him like you're on a 16th century galleon in a thunderstorm, forehead plonking on his chest heavily, "Atta, girl. There we go." He just strokes your hair and back while you wait for the dizziness to pass, he knows each second will make him later to the arena but he's not going to rush you when you're struggling just to stand without fainting.
"Alright, let me get your stuff and then we'll take it one step at a time, baby, okay?"
"O..okay...one step...at a time." He tries his best not to let go of you completely as he bundles your work bag onto his shoulder. Quinn is as quick as he can be with it, before pulling you under his arm and helping you inch step by step towards the car.
It's slow going, every few steps you get a little dizzy and he waits for you to nod before he pushes you forward again. You're drained, dark circles under your eyes and skin losing some of its usual colour by the time you reach the car.
Quinn had purposefully pulled up the car with the passenger side facing you and you're thankful not to have to walk around the car as you brace yourself against the door for a moment. Quinn helps ease you into the seat, reaching over to put your seatbelt on for you and adjust the headrest so you can lean back. It eases some of the weight in your chest.
"Nearly home, okay, baby?"
You just nod, exhausted as his hands cup your cheeks tenderly, spreading a soft sort of affection through your already aching chest. He's so gentle as he looks down at you, fingers rubbing circles in your cheeks, but he looks so worried and you feel so guilty because he shouldn't have to be that worried.
"You've been so brave, baby, you're so brave...soon you'll be in bed and you can watch the game and sleep, okay?" He knows you'll want to watch the game if you're sat at home, mostly because you watch every game he plays even if its on catch up, but also because he knows it'll reassure you that he made it back in time.
You nod again, blinking up at him so tired that he can't help but frown.
"Atta, girl. My brave girl." The kiss Quinn presses to your forehead is short and sweet, not lingering but filling you with warmth and lightness even as he closes the door on you and gets into the driver's side.
You miss his comforting touch and as if he knows this, his hand reaches for your thigh at any given opportunity when it isn't in use to drive. The stability of it, the comfort of just having him there is so welcome and helps you to relax back into the seat as he drives.
It's just as hard work getting you into the apartment, thankful as ever that the elevator actually works, but once you're in, Quinn feels ten times lighter.
"Right, lets get you comfy, baby...you want one of my jerseys or a hoodie?"
"Jersey...the....the black one, please."
"Okay, sit down, there ya go, good girl.." He watches you the entire time from the corner of his eye, scared you'll lean too far forward from how you're hunched over on the edge of the bed. He tries to make the entire thing quick, reaching for his black jersey, the extra big one that he bought home because you liked how it dwarfed you and even dwarfed him.
"Arms up, baby..." He helps you out of your work blouse and your bra, slipping the jersey over the top quickly to avoid the shivers you start shaking with.
The worst part is getting you to your feet to get your bottoms off. Quinn helps you rise to your feet before kneeling in front of you, dragging your hands to his shoulders for support as he helps you inch out of the remainder of your work clothes. Your fingers grip his shoulders so tight that he's certain you might leave bruises but he doesn't really care, just happy to get you comfy and help you into bed.
You're bundled under as many blankets as he can find, plus the heated blanket you got at Christmas. A big jug of water beside the bed, snacks piled high because he is not having you try to go all the way to kitchen without supervision right now.
"You want the game set to go on?"
"Y...yes, please...wanna watch you play." He turns the television on, setting it to the NHL game set to go live in less than an hour now and he knows he's going to miss warm ups at this point. Tocc's probably blowing up his phone and he knows he's cutting it fine...but you look so small bundled up in bed and he actually hates the idea of leaving you alone. He hates not having his family near all the time as a general rule, but in that moment he hates it so much more. If his mum or dad had been near he could have asked Ellen or Jim to check in on you, instead you were going to be all alone and he hated it.
"I'll score for you, yeah? You can watch me score and maybe we'll win and then I'll come and make us dinner. That sound good, baby?"
"Perfect..." Quinn smooths your hair back from your face, tucking a strand behind your ear even as he uses it as an excuse to feel your temperature. Not unreasonably warm which reassures him a little that you're at least not feverish.
He just keeps sitting there next to you, stroking your hair and caressing your cheek to the point that as much as you're loathe to get him to stop and to leave, you have to remind him he can't stay here. He has a game he's already running late to.
"You...you have to go, Quinn...I'll be okay..."
"If you're not, you'll phone 911, right?" He smooths your hair back again, in truth he really doesn't want to leave you there like that. Even as you seem to be breathing a little better now you're lying down. He considers just not going, if they lose they lose...but he knows he can't. He's captain, he promised he'd be back...and you'd be unhappy with him. He might be your boyfriend but the Canucks were your team and you'd likely make him sleep on the couch for a week.
"I promise...just go win for me?"
"Okay, sweet girl." He presses a last lingering kiss to your forehead, before getting up to leave. But, he still lingers in the doorway for a moment until you push him to go.
Once he's out of the apartment he's rushing. Barely any time and honestly when he finally gets back to the arena and gets his skates on he's surprised he's just in time to go out on the ice for the anthem...cold, not warmed up in the slightest, not ready at all to play a game, but willing to.
Tocc stops him as he's passing the bench to get to the ice, "Cutting it fine, Hughes!" despite the gruff tone, Quinn can tell that Tocc is just relieved that Quinn's back in time. As are the guys who all look at him with varying shades of relief as if they'd been freaking out the entire time. Which they probably had.
"Told you I'd be back." Quinn says it with such confidence, even though inside he knows he nearly missed the entire game. To be honest if you hadn't forced him out the apartment then he'd probably have been late at best.
"How is she?" Tocc's voice is soft, concerned and Quinn appreciates it. He appreciates that as a coach Tocc doesn't just care about how much they cost or how well they play, he cares about them and their families too...and you're included in that, ring or not.
"Not good...but safe at home."
"You need practice off tomorrow?"
"Please, I need to get her to the doctors..."
"Done. Now go help us win the game." Tocc gives him a clap on the shoulder before pushing him out onto the ice and just like that Quinn slips into captain mode.
Locked in like he always is even if his legs don't feel as loose and his stick feels a little less familiar in his hands. Knowing you're home safe helps, he can put the thought of you to the back of his mind, knowing you're safe in the apartment, comfortable and surrounded by everything you need.
You find it hard to focus on the game, but force yourself to, determined to watch Quinn play and to see the goal he intends to score for you. Maybe it's silly, there's no guarantee he'll actually score, but you can tell from the moment he's on the ice that it's one of the few things on his mind. Shot after shot after shot, a determined series of attempts that remind you how important you are to him even as you lie wheezing in bed, eating as much chocolate as Quinn put out for you.
It's part way through the first period with one goal already to Vancouver thanks to Petey that the issue of Quinn's disappearance pre-game is raised.
"Quinn Hughes was nearly late to the game today, the captain missed warm ups but that's certainly not stopping him now!" Shortie's voice rings through the room, a familiar cadence that makes you feel comforted.
"No, it's not, Shortie, do we know why Hughes was late?" Dave responds and for a moment you can't quite comprehend that you've managed to cause this much of a ruckus.
"It hasn't been confirmed and you know I'm not much of a gossip..." You have a little giggle a Shortie even as you are the topic of conversation because it's not really much in the way of gossip and it's so silly.
"But?"
"Apparently he had a family emergency, his girlfriend is very unwell and he dropped everything to go get her."
"Well, that's just.."
"Romantic? Sweet?"
"I was going to say so unlike the Quinn Hughes we used to know, the one who only thought about hockey." You think back to Quinn when you first met, how everything had been hockey, hockey, hockey. You hadn't minded, your own love of the sport meant that you could handle it. But, it's true...Quinn had been rethinking his priorities ever since you started dating, where he might have prioritised hockey once, he'd started to prioritise you. You're not entirely sure at what point you became that important in his life, but it made you feel warm and fuzzy all over.
"I think it's a good thing, that's a sign of growth, just like Hughes' shot!" Shortie cuts himself off as you watch the camera pan to Quinn, following his agile movements across the ice as he skips past the other team's players as if it's as easy as breathing, "He's in past the defence, he lines up the shot and an unassisted goal for Quinn Hughes! Vancouver goal!"
You smile wide as you watch Quinn grin, celebrating with his team in a series of hugs before he finds a camera. There's a moment where you know he's grinning at you, for you, a cheeky little wink sent through the screen as if to say 'told you I'd score for you'.
"I suspect that one was for the girlfriend, Shortie."
You watch the entire game, trying not to nod off to sleep between periods. While you can't cheer and you certainly don't have the energy to celebrate too hard, every Canuck goal makes you feel lighter and brings a smile to your face.
The end result of a 5-2 win to the Canucks makes it easy for you to drift off as the game ends and the waiting for Quinn begins.
He's running off a high when the game ends, even more so when Boeser offers to take over press duties so Quinn can get back to you quickly.
The apartment is quiet when he comes in, "Baby?" not a sound comes back in response and he's careful to move quietly through the apartment to the bedroom doorway.
You're fast asleep, breathing heavy but nowhere near as bad as earlier in the day, you're surrounded by chocolate wrappers and he's quiet as he picks them all up and puts them in a bin, replacing them with the puck he scored with on your bedside table.
He tiptoes back to the kitchen quietly pottering around to make some dinner for you while you're still asleep, nothing fancy but protein, carbs and veg. The sort of thing that's definitely boring but also definitely what your body needs right now.
"Baby, time to wake up...I've made you dinner." He's gentle when he wakes you, soft fingers down your cheek as you stir awake, blinking up at him bleary eyed. Quinn helps you sit upright, the tray of food settling neatly in your lap.
"Where's...where's yours?"
"On the table, you want me to eat in here with you, sweetheart?"
He's moving before you finish nodding, grabbing another tray and his plate before joining you on the bed. He spends most of his dinner watching you eat, making sure you're not leaving large amounts and that you're okay.
He's happy about the win, happy about the score, but he's mostly just happy to be back with you and knowing that you're eating and you're okay, if not well.
Quinn's quick to tidy up your trays and even quicker to get back to you and get into a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, sliding under the covers with you and pulling you into his arms.
Your cheek rests against his chest, the steady thump of his heart a soothing sound that helps some of the anxiety about being off work ease off. Quinn's fingers caress circles and weird shapes across your arm and shoulder as he tucks you tight against him, legs twined together. Every so often he presses a kiss to your forehead, your cheek, the top of your hair, as if reassuring himself that you're okay and he's got you.
"You scored..." You mumble into his t-shirt, a small smile working it's way to your lips as his hand moves up to run through your hair, stopping at your scalp every now and then to scratch lightly until you feel like purring even if that purr is more of a wheezy rumble.
"Mmm, for you, baby." Quinn smiles down at you, another kiss pressed to your cheek.
"T...the wink?" His smile weakens slightly at your still stumbling breathlessness and the wheeze and crackle that accompany it.
"Just for you, sweet girl."
"I'm...I'm proud of you, y'know?" You smile up at him so sweetly that he can't help but feel certain in his choices today. Yeah, nearly missing a game was rough, and maybe the press are going to be dicks about it and maybe he would have felt guilty if he'd missed the game or they'd lost...but he knows he'd skip a million games if it meant you were being looked after, were safe.
"I know...and tomorrow you're going to show me how proud you are by letting me take you to the doctors again."
"Ugh..." You groan, hiding your face into his chest like that will stop him from dragging you to the doctors. Your stubbornness normally cute but in this moment less so.
Quinn cups the back of your head until your looking up at him, green eyes meeting yours with a pleading stare that makes your resolve tremble and shudder. "Please? I'm worried about you, baby...I was really scared when I got that text from you."
"Yeah?" You hate that you worried him...it's that worry that makes you concede that maybe you need to go back to the doctors and maybe as much as you hate it, you'll do it, for Quinn.
"Yeah. I can replace hockey, I can play another game if I miss one. But, I can't replace you. Let me take you to the doctors."
There's a beat of silence as he pleads with you, eyes soft, worried, gentle, thumb stroking soothingly across the base of your neck and you can't really deny him this. Not when you know you'd feel exactly the same if the roles were reversed, not when he nearly missed a game for you today and went in completely cold turkey to win it.
"Okay...as...as long as you keep cuddling me."
"I think I can do that, baby." You curl back into his arms like the spot was carved just for you and in that moment Quinn Hughes knows that you have fully hit the top of his priority list, no ands, ifs, buts or maybes. You could ask him to quit hockey tomorrow and he'd do it. He'd do anything for you and that should be terrifying, but it's not because he knows you'd never ask too much of him. If anything you ask too little.
#huggy bear writes#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes/reader#quinn hughes#nhl imagine#nhl x reader#teacher reader x quinn
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Tiny Surprise(GiuliaGwinnXBühlReader)
Warnings: pregnancy, failed IVF tries mentioned, mental health struggles
You were getting quite frustrated. cause this was the third IVF try and once again it didn't seem to have worked. The Test you took a while ago came back negative. Both you and Giulia were quite sad and you felt like you failed her. Coming to terms that you would have to try again but over the last two days you had a weird feeling that you maybe should take another test. You didn't want to tell your wife though because you didn't want to get her hopes up.
So when she was out to go shopping with your sister Klara you took the Chance and grabbed three more pregnancy tests you still had left. You took one after another and they all said pregnant around 5-6 weeks. You started crying but also smiling. You were having a baby. You couldn't wait to tell Giulia. You quickly went to hide the positive tests & quickly went to the Bayern Campus to get a FC Bayern Munich romper for the Baby. You pretended it's a Gift for a friend cause you didn't want anyone to know yet. Giulia should totally find out first and she had to tell the coaching staff soon because you didn't want to risk anything and you sure couldn't play soccer without a risk of getting hurt or the baby getting hurt. Well and you wanted to tell Klara. Cause she was your sister after all.
You got home quickly after also buying a cute little box. You put the romper in there, the three positive tests and a note that simply said:'Hi Mommy'. Then you put it on your bed. Waiting for your wife to get home. Which she did around 20 minutes later. "Beautiful? Are you Home?" Giulia called out. You walked out of the bedroom, making your way over to her. "Hey Love. How was your shopping Trip?" You asked her, kissing her softly. She kissed back. "Good. I got some new pillows for us & new blankets!" She told you. You smiled sheepishly. "I have something for you!" You let her know. She hang her jacket up and took her shoes of by the door. Palcing the Shopping bags aside. "You have something for me?" She asked, looking a bit confused. "Yes! It's on the bed!" You took her hand and lead her to the bedroom you shared. "It's in the box." You explain and sit down on the bed with her. "Can i Open it now?" She was still confused but also curious. "Yes you can!" After Giulia got a reply from you she slowly opened it. And started crying right away. "You are pregnant?! So it worked...oh my god! Babe you are pregnant! We are having a baby! There is a Baby growing inside of you right now!" She was all over the place with her thoughts. "Yes, my Love we are having a baby!" You told her and teared up as well. The two of you hug for a few minutes before she kissed you and gently placed her hand on your stomach. "Hi peanut. It's your mommy here! We are really excited to meet you. Your Mama is the best and i just know you gonna be like her." Giulia talked to your stomach. And you gently played with her hair.
After you Guys cuddled for a bit you made an appointment at your gynecologist to have a Check up which you thankfully had just the next day. And it was before practice so you also had time to figure out your next move. If you possibly make up an injury before telling the team or sharing the news with them so soon.
The next morning the two of you got ready to see your Baby for the first time, which was so exciting. Giulia even filmed the moment you got to hear the Heartbeat for the First time. You indeed were 6 weeks pregnant. When the doctor took a moment to check though he went quiet for a moment which had you worried. But then he turned to you & Giulia who was holding your hand gently. "Congrats it's twins!" He told you and both of you started crying even more. "Babe we are having two Babies?!" You told your wife. Sobbing, squeezing her hand softly. She kissed your forehead. These are amazing News!" Finally after all the heartache you had to go through the two of you got what you always wanted. Before you left you got some Ultrasound Pictures that said Baby A and Baby B on it.
The two of you got a shirt made at a Shop that said 'Proud Aunt of Twins'. You talked about it in the Car that you would tell people now and be honest with them. The Shirt obviously was for Klara. You got a nice Box for it . Put one of the Ultrasound Pictures in it and the Shirt in top of it.
When you reached the Campus the two of you went to talk with Alex. Since he was the headcoach you wanted him to know first. You would now tell Klara and your teammates before the rest of the staff would find out.
You texted your sister and asked her to come to the medic room. But you told her everything was fine you just wanted to have some privacy to tell her something important and unfortunately all the conference rooms were booked. She quickly made her way there. Looking really confused when she saw you and Giulia smiling gently at you holding out a Box. "Hey sis! Let's make this short. This is for you!" Klara sat down on a Chair. Putting the Box in her lap. "You two are acting Strange." She told them. "No we don't" Giulia replied. Your sister opened the box & took out the Shirt but noticed the Ultrasound Pic right away. "Oh my god you are pregnant!" She placed the Box on the table and ran over to you and your wife, pulling you in for a hug. "Indeed. Currently carrying twins!" You explained to your Sister. "Twins?! Sis that is awesome! Congrats to the two of you!" Klara was offer the moon for you. The three of you talked for a few minutes and hugged alot.
You decided to announce your pregnancy to the rest of the Team today. So Klara put the 'Proud Aunt of Twins' T-Shirt on and walked into the changing room, you and Giulia walking right behind her, holding hands. Lea was the first one to notice the Shirt and put things together. "Oh my god! Congrats!" She said and run over to you and Giulia. Hugging both of you. "This is so exciting! We are getting not one but two FC Bayern Munich Babies!" Klara told them and the whole thing ended in lots of Happy tears, a group hug & the team congratulating the two of you.
You and your wife couldn't wait to welcome your tiny surprises into the world.
#womens soccer#woso x reader#GiuliaGwinnXBühlReader#womens football#dfb frauen#fc bayern munich women#giuliagwinnXReader#soccer
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You Are My Sunshine [1]
Pairing: Jax Teller x Fem!Reader Word count: 5.3k [Series Masterlist] [Jax Teller Masterlist]
Summary: Recently released from a stint in Stockton Prison with a few of the Sons, Jax is still struggling with Tara returning to Chicago over a year after he killed Agent Kohn for her. When he returned to Charming, Jax noticed a coffee shop had sprung up across the street from Teller-Morrow Automotive and the clubhouse, oddly finding himself watching the strangely cheerful owner through the windows. One night he feels drawn to step inside, but he's left even more confused when the owner feels like the embodiment of sunshine itself. Jax quickly realizes that the more he visits her shop, the more at peace he finds himself.
Warnings/tags: 18+; sunshine!Reader/grumpy!Jax (somewhat), fluff, angst, friends to lovers, eventual smut, canon divergent, canon typical violence (more tags to possibly come)
a/n: Not everything will be true to canon in this little series, and this first part starts out in Jax's POV. I just couldn't resist the idea of Jax with someone so bright and bubbly bringing some happiness his way. As a note since I'm newer in the SoA fanfic scene, I always do my best to refrain from adding physical descriptions to Readers, but they are still some form of a character personality-wise. Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!
Placing the cigarette between his lips, Jax flipped open his lighter and held the flame up to the tip of it. He was itching for something right now–a smoke, a drink, a fuck, a fight. He couldn’t quite tell the difference anymore. Everything felt the same–a neverending blur. The days had all begun to bleed together ever since he and the guys had been released from Stockton the other month.
And everything felt the goddamn same as it did before he'd gone in.
Taking a drag on the cigarette, he pocketed the lighter and leant back against the brick of the clubhouse behind him. Laughter and blaring music was pouring out of the building, the noise always far too loud to be contained by the structure. The Sons were partying again tonight, celebrating a successful closure of a deal from earlier in the day. But for some reason Jax hadn’t felt like partying. The air in the clubhouse felt suffocating, which was why he’d stepped outside into the balmy summer night for a cigarette instead.
As a trail of smoke curled its way upwards from between his lips, Jax stared vacantly across the otherwise empty lot, his eyes landing on the line of motorcycles across from him. His mind inevitably wandered back to Tara while he smoked, something it often did ever since she’d reappeared in his life over a year ago just to disappear all over again. Running away. That's what she had always done best.
He hated that he couldn’t get her out of his head even after all this time. But what he hated even more was that part of him still felt like it was holding onto the ridiculous hope that she’d come back to him. That she might wake up one day and return to Charming and somehow just accept him for who he was, who he'd always been. But that was a fucking bullshit hope and he knew it.
Jax’s jaw clenched in irritation, his fingers tightening around his cigarette as he drew it back up to his lips for another sharp inhale. It was impossible not to think that Tara had used him just to get rid of Kohn knowing that he’d be sympathetic to her situation. Knowing damn well that Jax would never have just walked away when she came to him for help. And it pissed him off that she’d played him like that–that he had let her play him like that. Especially when he’d been so fucking vulnerable after Abel had been born with all of his health complications weighing on his mind.
He had needed her in return, but Tara hadn’t cared about what Jax was going through. She hadn’t cared about the fact that until that moment, Jax had never killed like he'd killed that night for her. Every time before had always been for the club–for self-defense, retaliation. But that night? That night it had been out of love. It had been because he'd been protecting someone he cared about. And Tara had thrown him away a second time right afterwards, not even bothering to think about how any of it had affected Jax.
Movement across the street caught Jax’s attention, breaking through his spiraling, agitated thoughts. His head turned as he stood in the dimly lit parking lot, pulling the cigarette away from his lips and blowing out a plume of smoke as his eyes landed on you across the street through the large glass windows of your coffee shop.
Honest Coffee. You’d opened it at some point when he and a few of the Sons had been doing a few months in Stockton, but ever since he’d gotten out, he’d found his gaze drawn across the street to that building more times than he’d ever willingly care to admit. And he wasn’t entirely sure why, either. Jax was not the kind of guy you’d find sitting inside of a coffee shop sipping on some fancy ass, overly sweetened and overpriced bullshit cup of coffee. That wasn’t his thing. So of course he’d never actually ventured inside the shop that had opened up across the street from the clubhouse and Teller-Morrow Automotive.
But for some goddamn reason he couldn’t help but look.
The entire place stood out amongst the old, worn brick buildings beside it. You’d painted the exterior brick white and hung up some bold, black sign with the shop’s name on it above the entrance. There were even a few little tables and chairs on the sidewalk out front along with writing on one of the large glass windows that read ‘Support your local caffeine dealer.’ Which, for some goddamn reason, amused Jax to no end considering your shop was located across the street from actual arms dealers.
And there were plants. Goddamn, the amount of plants. A few large potted ones sat outside by the front doors, and there were a handful hanging over all of the large open windows. And, from what Jax had been able to see when he’d ridden past the place multiple times, you had plants on the tables inside, too. So many fucking plants it was like you were making coffee in a damn jungle. He didn’t understand why you had so many or how the hell they always looked like they were thriving. He’d often heard Gemma even compliment the goddamn plants the few times she’d stopped over to get herself coffee.
But it wasn’t entirely the plants or what you’d done to the building to make it appear so warm and inviting in downtown Charming that had him constantly staring across the street. It was you, if he was being honest with himself. You were always working there. He’d already come to assume that you were more than just a barista and that you actually owned the coffee shop with how frequently you were there. And you were attractive, that wasn’t even remotely a question. But you were nothing like the women at the clubhouse, or Redwoody, or Diosa. Where most of the women he’d encountered in his life were all rough and hard edges, you always seemed so soft and sweet. Like a warmth just radiated off of you everytime you smiled.
And you were always fucking smiling over there. Whenever Jax watched you through the windows, whether he was outside having a smoke with the guys or by himself, you were guaranteed to be standing somewhere in that shop talking to someone with a smile on your face. Despite the fact that he didn't understand how one damn person could smile so damn much in a day, he’d sometimes found himself wondering what it would be like to see that smile up close, to have it directed at himself. There was just something about it, even from this distance across the street, that made it look different from any other smile he felt like he’d been given in his life. Like it was real and not covering a hidden agenda.
Jax took a final drag on his cigarette before tossing it to the ground beside his feet, crushing it out beneath his shoe. His eyes were still on you through those large glass windows as he did. It looked like you were closing up the shop for the day. You were alone inside, the entire place empty as you swept the floor with a broom. But it almost looked like you were dancing as you cleaned, your hips swaying as your lips moved. The corner of Jax’s lips twisted upwards faintly at the sight. Who the hell were you? You were cleaning in an empty shop in downtown Charming, all alone just after sunset, across the street from the disliked and notorious motorcycle club, and you were dancing as you swept?
Who the fuck looked so happy to be cleaning?
Without even thinking, Jax pushed off the wall of the clubhouse and let his feet carry him away from the party raging behind him. An incredulous look was etched across his usually hard features as he began to cross the empty street and make his way towards your coffee shop. Eventually he came to a stop just outside of the front door, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans as he watched the back of you for a minute through the windows. Unquestionably you were inside dancing and sweeping as you listened to–what Jax assumed as he stood just outside–stupid coffee shop music. An amused huff came out of him as he shook his head at the sight.
Not even bothering to check if your shop was closed on the hours listed on the door, Jax slipped a hand out of his pocket and pulled it open. No bell chimed to alert you of his presence, meaning you continued your cleaning and soft singing to yourself with your back facing him, completely unaware you had a customer. A smug smirk tugged at his lips as he sauntered further inside the shop, making his way over to the counter near the register before resting an arm against the white countertop. He leaned his weight against it, crossing his ankles as his head cocked to the side, his blue eyes fixed on you.
Christ, you looked adorable. Not a thought he often had about women. Usually he went for the ones at the clubhouse barely dressed in much of anything who were always very eager to spend the night with him. Even a few of the girls at Diosa and the pornstars at Redwoody that had sometimes caught his eye would never have been called anything close to ‘adorable’ by Jax. But you just looked so goddamn sweet and you hadn’t even noticed him standing behind you staring.
Clearing his throat, Jax figured he should probably alert you to his presence. He didn’t want to scare you, which he had a feeling might happen if you turned around and spotted someone that looked like him just quietly watching you.
“Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so damn happy sweeping a floor before,” Jax called out.
The way you startled at his voice, spinning around abruptly with a soft, surprised gasp while throwing a hand over your heart, had a pleased grin growing on Jax’s face. You looked so surprised with your wide eyes and parted lips. He almost wanted to laugh, but instead he bit his bottom lip and held the sound back.
“Relax, darlin’. I’m not here to rob your coffee shop,” he teased.
Almost immediately your expression shifted, the look of surprise disappearing and being replaced with a friendly smile that lit up your entire face. The sight of it did something to Jax, taking him by surprise. Because it was nighttime, you were alone in your shop, and here Jax had stood unannounced behind you, and yet your reaction was to just smile at him like he was some old friend you’d been expecting to see?
A soft laugh fell from your lips as Jax watched you turn around towards him, leaning some of your weight against the broom handle in your hands while your eyes took in the sight of him. He noticed the way you'd briefly scanned his kutte, but that kind smile remained stretched across your pretty mouth when your gaze once more met his.
“I wasn't thinking you were going to, you just startled me,” you answered. “You're extremely quiet on your feet, you know.”
Jax chuckled at the comment, his grin growing a little more amused. If only you knew the half of it.
“I may have been told that a time or two,” he replied, his eyes still taking you in without a hint of subtlety.
“Well,” you began, a playful lilt to your tone, completely unbothered by his gaze, “you know what they say about strange men showing up unannounced after closing, don’t you?”
Completely thrown by the unexpected teasing question coming from someone who looked as sweet as you, Jax couldn’t fight back the small chuckle that managed to fall out of him. “No, darlin’, I don’t. What do they say?” he asked.
Your perceptive eyes, which were still lit from the warmth of your smile, watched the way Jax continued to lean so casually against the countertop. You didn't appear even remotely fazed by his presence here and he found that so incredibly odd.
“That they want a coffee,” you answered matter-of-factly.
Jax raised a brow curiously at your response, your smile somehow widening even further on your lips. You were not what he'd expected–and he'd already expected you to be something sweet and nice. But it was almost like you were more than even just that. It felt like the goddamn sun was shining on him when you smiled at him, and he didn't know what to make of it. No one in Charming that was an outsider to the club was this kind and friendly to its members. Most of the town had a healthy fear and a good amount of disdain at this point for the Sons.
But not you, apparently.
“Thought you were closing?” Jax asked, shaking the thoughts from his mind as he eyed you curiously.
You laughed lightly yet again, turning and resting the broom against the shop’s counter now. “Didn't stop you from sneaking in, friend.” You glanced over your shoulder at him, completely genuine in your question as you asked, “So, would you like a coffee?”
An amused noise of disbelief rumbled out of Jax. You spoke to him as if he was any other goddamn customer coming into your shop. He'd never been treated so normal before.
“Guess if you're offering, sweetheart, then yes,” he finally answered. Jax moved over, lowering himself into one of the chairs at the small counter as he watched you make your way around it. “Though I can't say I'd normally be caught dead ordering anything from a coffee shop.”
Coming to a stop in front of him just on the other side of the counter, your head tilted curiously to the side as you studied him closely. Jax stiffened under the weight of your gaze. It almost felt like you were seeing right through him with the way your eyes ran over his face so carefully. As if you were really taking him in. He wondered what you saw when you looked at him, but then that damn sweet smile was plastered across your lips again before you were speaking.
“Then I'm honored to be the first. And,” you continued, the sound of your voice somehow temporarily soothing that constant burning rage inside of Jax, “I'll even make it on the house. Free of charge this time.”
Jax blinked back at you, stunned into silence for a moment. But then he shook his head, waving a hand at you. “Not gonna let you do that, darlin’. I can pay for a coffee.”
“Didn't say you couldn't, I'm just trying to spread some kindness. Looks you've had a rough day,” you replied, a softness in your voice that wasn't there a moment ago. But then the bright, playfulness was back as you pointed a finger at him. “You look like a regular coffee kind of guy. No creamer, bit of sugar. Am I right?”
“I…yeah,” Jax answered, a little taken aback at how quickly you'd read him and how easily you spoke to him. “Yeah, I am.”
“There's sweetener on that counter behind you,” you said, gesturing at something behind Jax before you turned around.
He glanced briefly over his shoulder at what you’d pointed out before he focused back on you. Watching in silence, his eyes remained on the back of you as you started on his cup of coffee, but his brows soon furrowed as he watched you work. He'd never seen someone make coffee the way you were doing now. What in the hell were you doing?
“Don't you just...have a machine, sweetheart?” Jax asked slowly.
A soft laugh came from you as you worked, your back to him as you answered. “Pour over is better than drip. I promise.” Glancing over your shoulder, you smiled at him once more. “Just trust me.”
Still baffled and confused as to what in the hell you were doing, he couldn't help but to keep watching you in silence, completely confused as to how in the hell you were making him what should be just a simple cup of coffee. He really never had stepped foot into a coffee shop before–a big chain one or a locally owned place. He didn’t even know why he’d crossed the street and come over here in the first place, especially with the party going on at the clubhouse where he was supposed to be.
Lost in his thoughts, Jax’s eyes inevitably dropped down to your ass, taking in the shape of it in your jeans. His head tilted appreciatively to the side as his attention focused on that instead of trying to understand the strange pull he'd felt to step inside your shop once and for all tonight. His tongue slipped out, running along the length of his bottom lip as he took in the unobstructed view before him. You filled your jeans out damn good.
“So you got a name, friend?” you asked, your voice breaking through his thoughts. “Or am I just supposed to keep calling you ‘friend’?”
Jax found himself mentally chastising himself at your interruption, his eyes moving back to yours as you turned around, leaning your back against the counter behind you. There was a sincere expression on your face, like you actually cared to know who he was, and that had him feeling guilty for the way he'd just been looking at you. You weren't like the girls he surrounded himself with, you were actually good. He shouldn't be eyeing you like that. There was no way in hell you'd ever be interested in a man like him, and you definitely didn't look like the one-and-done kind of girl.
“It's Jax,” he answered. “Jax Teller. You got a name, darlin’?”
A small smile curled the corners of his lips upwards when you gave him your name so easily. He had a feeling this was one of the rare times he wouldn't just immediately forget a woman's name after she'd given it to him.
“You always this cheerful, darlin’?” he asked next, unable to resist the question that had been gradually growing in his mind the longer he sat here. “Or is this some professional, friendly barista persona that you throw on when you're here at work?”
Jax watched as you turned around to the back counter against the tiled wall again, picking up the strange glass container you'd just made the coffee in before pouring it into a to-go cup for him. You were quiet as you worked before turning around and crossing the space over to where Jax was sitting. Reaching a hand out, Jax accepted the coffee from yours, but when his rough fingers brushed against your soft ones, he felt the corners of his lips twitch.
“Owner,” you said softly, your hands resting on the countertop. “Not a barista. And it's not a persona I throw on for work, this is just me.”
Jax’s brows drew together at that as he got off his chair and made his way over to the counter by the entrance to add in some sweetener to the coffee. How the hell was anyone just that friendly and cheerful naturally? Without it being a front? But as he stirred his coffee, wandering back over to the counter and taking his seat again, he noticed that you looked sincere.
“How the hell are you this friendly to everyone?” he asked, sitting back down in the chair at the counter, his coffee momentarily forgotten.
“Because I like being nice,” you simply replied.
Jax made a face at that answer. Who the fuck liked being nice all of the time? That had to be bullshit. There had to be people you didn't like, people that you weren't quite so kind towards. People like him who definitely didn't deserve an ounce of kindness.
“Bullshit,” Jax argued, eyes narrowing at you in suspicion. “There's gotta be rude customers you aren't such a ray of sunshine towards, right? Bad people you don't want in here?”
He watched as your fingers lightly drummed against the countertop, your smile smaller but not gone from your lips. Almost like it was just a permanent fixture on your face.
“I believe everyone deserves some kindness,” you answered genuinely after a moment, holding Jax’s gaze. “Because you never know the weight of what someone is carrying on their shoulders. And sometimes, all someone needs is a kind word or a smile in their day.”
Jax just sat there in silence for a moment, staring at you like you'd just said the most absolutely ridiculous thing. And honestly, he felt like you had. You looked so naive and innocent standing there behind your counter full of those goddamn plants you appeared to love so much.
“You realize who I am, right?”
The question had slipped out of Jax without much forethought, but he was curious now. Were you somehow that oblivious as to who your shop was across the street from? Was that why you were being so friendly to him?
“Yeah,” you answered with a nod, your eyes focusing behind Jax at the clubhouse through the window for a second before returning to him. “I've seen a lot of you with those…vests? Over there across the street.”
Jax couldn’t stop the chuckle that rumbled out of him. Vests. That was cute. Jesus, you really weren't part of his world at all, were you? You probably had no damn idea about the pistol in his “vest.”
“Kuttes, darlin’. They're called kuttes,” he told you as he drew his cup towards his mouth while he spoke. “They're a bit different and more important than just some vest.”
Jax took a sip of the hot coffee, entirely planning to continue his explanation about how wrong you were about the kuttes, but he was taken off guard by the drink. He hadn't expected it to taste as good as it did. He'd drank coffee before–a shitload of it most days because Jax was no stranger to sleepless nights even before Abel came into the picture–but this didn't taste like the acidic, burnt trash that he'd grown used to masking with sugar.
The sound of your delighted laugh drew his gaze back up to your face. A bright, amused smile was shining back at him. The sight momentarily had Jax forgetting about everything–the coffee, the kuttes, his anger at Tara, the clubhouse party he should be getting back to. All he could do was stare at you, taking in the sight of your smile and the way it felt like it had somehow warmed him more than that hot coffee ever could.
“Is it good?” you asked, gesturing your head towards the cup in his hand. “The coffee?”
Blinking a couple of times, Jax looked back down at the paper cup warming his hand, attempting to return to his senses. “Yeah,” he answered. Roughly clearing his throat, he snapped out of whatever it was that your smile had just done to him. “How the hell do you get your coffee to taste so damn good?”
A pleased smile spread its way across your face when Jax looked back at you. He liked the way a glimmer of something–pride, maybe–reflected back at him in your eyes.
“All about the roast and the extraction, Jax,” you replied. “Fresh, good quality beans that have just been ground make a world of difference. But I'm glad you like it. I've always said a great cup of coffee can help make a bad day better.”
Jax chuckled again, shaking off that weird sensation from a moment ago and drawing the cup up to his lips for another drink of the hot liquid. Goddamn, is this why people paid more instead of just making it their damn selves? Did it actually taste that much better from a coffee shop?
“Maybe for some people,” Jax mused as he lowered the cup, his eyes fixed on you behind the counter. “But I don't think a cup of coffee is gonna do a damn thing to fix my problems, darlin’.”
Unfazed by his attitude, you simply shrugged a shoulder in response. “You never know, maybe you just haven't had the right cup of coffee yet.”
A smirk tugged at the corner of Jax's mouth. You were adorable. Naive, but adorable.
“I don't think coffee is the solution to anything other than how damn tired I am,” he disagreed.
Loud shouting from across the street caught both of your attention from the shop, the noise interrupting the conversation. Jax noticed the way your eyes darted to the window almost instantly before he sighed and looked over his shoulder behind him. A handful of the guys were outside drunk and having a smoke in the clubhouse lot, a few of the hangarounds clinging to them in their short shorts and crop tops. The sight of them out there was sobering. He knew he should get back to the clubhouse, especially now with how he was beginning to feel a little guilty that he'd interrupted you trying to close your shop.
Turning around in his chair, Jax entirely expected to see some sort of judgmental look on your face at the Sons and the croweaters across the street. It was how everyone outside of the club looked at them. But there was only a hint of genuine curiosity before your gaze shifted back to him in front of you. His brows furrowed faintly together at that, but he quickly pushed the growing questions away. It didn't matter.
“I should get back over there,” Jax told you. “Make sure those shitheads don't cause too much trouble. And I should let you finish closing up.”
He rose from the chair at the counter, his lips straightening along his face as he got to his feet with his coffee in hand. For some reason, he found he didn't really want to go back over to the clubhouse, though. Whatever frustration he'd been feeling before he had walked over here tonight had somehow just vanished within the short time he'd spent sitting here talking to you. Something no amount of drinking, fucking, or riding his bike had even managed.
“You're right, it's well past close for me now,” you admitted, glancing at the clock on the wall behind yourself.
Another pang of guilt flooded Jax at your words. It was completely his fault that you were here so late now because he had stupidly walked in here for…he didn't even know what. Except that smile returned to your face again almost immediately, as if you weren't even upset that he had interrupted your night.
“I'm curious about something, sweetheart,” Jax found himself saying, his eyes narrowing at you as he spoke. “Would you have kicked me out at some point tonight, or are you too nice for that, too?”
Another small, casual shrug came in response to the question. “Eventually, yes,” you answered. “I do need to eventually go home and sleep before coming back here tomorrow morning.” You paused, that look on your face like you were seeing straight through him briefly returning before you continued. “But you looked like you needed…something. Figured a coffee wouldn't hurt, at least.”
Jax stood there staring at you, just taking in what you had said and that warm, friendly smile. It didn't make sense–you didn't make sense. And he wasn't sure how he felt about the way you seemed to actually see him. It was unsettling.
“You're an odd one, sunshine,” he murmured.
Almost instantly, a delighted laugh met Jax’s ears as he took another sip of his coffee. As he swallowed the drink down, his own lips couldn't keep from drawing themselves upwards at the sound.
“Sunshine?” you asked, both of your brows raising back at him.
Bottom lip rolling between his teeth, Jax bit back the grin threatening to spread across his face as he nodded slowly. “Yeah. Sunshine,” he repeated. “Suits you. You're so goddamn friendly and nice.”
“Well that's a new one for me,” you told him.
There was something different about the smile on your face now, but Jax couldn't quite place what it was. He'd never had a woman smile at him like that before. Not even Tara.
The thought of Tara was like a kick to the chest, a jolt of pain shooting through Jax. His expression abruptly fell, aware that all the usual thoughts he'd had about her after she had left him a second time were going to come back and hit him hard the second he walked out of your shop.
“Right. I should let you close,” he replied tersely.
Giving you a nod in goodbye, Jax's mouth felt dry as he turned around towards the exit. A confusing mix of thoughts were swirling in his mind now.
“Goodnight, Jax,” you called out behind him.
The sweet, soft tone gave him pause as he rested one hand on the door handle. His blonde brows drew together, jaw clenching tight as that familiar rage and darkness inside of him felt like it was clawing its way up his chest, threatening to spill out of him in the form of some rude comment that would knock that friendly smile off your face. He didn't deserve you treating him like this. He was a terrible person. He knew he could prove it to you with just a few simple words, but before he could open his mouth, you spoke again.
“Feel free to stop in again sometime,” you told him. “You're welcome here anytime just like anyone else, Sons’ President or not.” A soft noise almost like a little laugh came next before you added on, “Preferably when I'm open, though.”
His body went rigid at that pleasant, melodic little laugh of yours. Slowly, Jax turned to look over his shoulder at you still standing behind the counter. You were indeed over there smiling, but the urge to be an asshole just to show you what kind of man he really was–that he shouldn't be treated like everyone else–disappeared almost immediately at the sight of it. How the hell did you keep doing that? Keep disarming him so easily with just a goddamn smile?
“I'll keep that in mind,” he muttered.
Without giving you a chance to say more, confused as to the weird effect you seemed to have on him, he pushed the door open and stepped back out into the summer evening. The noise from the clubhouse across the street carried its way to Jax’s ears as he began to make his way back over to where the Sons were smoking in the parking lot. He took another drink of his coffee as he went, his thoughts briefly straying to you and that entire strange encounter he'd just had.
There was just something about you that was so damn unfamiliar to Jax. You were all light and warmth, like the embodiment of sunshine itself. Nothing like anyone he'd ever met before in his life and it intrigued him as much as it bothered him. For weeks he had been watching you through your shop window wondering what it would be like to have you smile at him like he'd often seen you smile at all of your other customers, and now he knew. It felt like the summer sun finally rising to start the day after a long, dark night. And Jax found himself oddly craving more of your warmth, suddenly not giving a shit if he got burned in the process.
#jax teller x reader#jax teller x you#jax teller#jax teller fanfiction#sons of anarchy#soa fanfiction
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How I purposefully tr1gg3r myself.
Before I get into this, WARNING. This is for edblr/ shedblr. This is totally a roleplay. I’m writing a book or something. This is a space where everyone is safe, and I’m in a community where I’m on the road to recover. BLOCK, DON’T REPORT
Now, let’s get into what you came here for.
Obviously, scrolling twitter and tumblr. You get a bit desensitized to this type of content after a while so, I often switch it up. My all time favorite is watching TikToks of skinny WIEIAD.
Measure yourself and focus on your goals. Instead of thinking how far you are from that 20-inch-waist, think of how much closer you’d be if you started now. No time like the present.
Get a crush. Fictional or not. I always gaslight myself into thinking that whoever wouldn’t love me if I was unhealthy & overweight.
Manic episode. This may not work for all of you. But I don’t drink a lot of coffee and when I do, I get hyper. So down like three of those a day (after like a week of not having any caffeine) and be super productive. Convince yourself that working and getting things done gives you all the dopamine you need. (My screen time lowered to 6 hours last manic episode I had and I was omading + working out everyday.) Also making a big change in your life can spark a manic episode. Basically become euphoric. Manic episodes can last for months.
Look at triggering media. Books/movies/tv shows. I love watching British diet documentaries. There’s tons out there and I mayyy have a post revolving around this coming out soon!! *wink wink* I will link it when it’s out!
Think of how I’m just like my shit parents.
Think of that one bitch at school and how I have to be better than her. (For context, she’s a massive fake and has done some horrible things to me even tho she struggles w her mental health too. This isn’t blind hate towards this girl.)
Listen to certain songs that I associate w cvtting or starving. Here to stay by Korn is one of my favorites for s/h. Fiona apple & CSH is one of my faves for ⭐️⭐️ving.
Cvtting Punishment for being hungry or a reward for not eating. Either one. I don’t recommend starting s/h because of this, though. I’ve never been able to fully recover from it (duh)
Bodychecks. This kinda goes along with #2 but I just love looking at my arms and feeling over my hipbones and comparing it to my highest weight when I couldn’t feel any of my bones.
Pinterest. Obviously amazing for thinsp0000 and diet plans but I love watching those gym influencers workout. It makes me really motivated to look like them. Also looking at artwork of EDs triggers me.
Do it for your 13 year old self type shit. Your younger self wanted to feel confident and skinny right?? Heal your inner child nod become skinny. I HOPE THIS HELPED A LITTLE!! Remember that all of these won’t work for everyone. Find out what triggers you. And BE CAREFUL. Don’t die plese. Don’t push yourself too hard!! And DRINK WATERR!! Most people with restrictive Eds suffer dehydration (or die from it in extreme cases) because we get a lot of moisture from food. So sip from that bottle, beautiful person.
#skinandbones#ana rexx#b0n3sp0#m3ansp0#3d f4st#3d but not sheeren#neetcore#3ating disord3r#tw ana bløg#tw a4a#tw 3d vent#tw an0rexia#tw ana mia#tw ed ana#tw ana rant#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw edtwt#tw mia#tw restriction#tw skipping meals#tw thinspi#eating disoder trigger warning#ana tip#i just want to be thin#i need to be th1n#ed nonsense#ed blr#ednotedsheeran#i wanna be sk1nn1#shedtwt
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Simon never thought retirement would appeal to him. The routine, the camaraderie, the purpose; he’d never envisioned a life where he’d be content to leave it all behind. But when Johnny got shot just a couple months after their wedding, barely surviving and unable to keep his spot with the 141, Simon hadn’t hesitated to resign and focus on nursing his dove back to health.
Now, three years and countless hours of physical therapy later, Johnny is doing much better. He’s never going to be fully back to how he had been before, and they’ve both accepted that; he’s alive and able to keep up with Simon and the twins, what more could they ask for?
The twins. Bright eyes, brighter smiles, and hands down the center of the mens’ world. The day the adoption had gone through was the second time joy had ruined Simon’s eyeliner, an accessory he never thought he’d care for but found himself rather enjoying, much to Johnny’s smug amusement. Ava and Derek, nearly four years old and currently looking at the elephants at the zoo like they’re eldritch horrors just waiting for the kids to let their guard down to pounce. Neither Simon nor Johnny had ever seen either child so wary before, and it was a struggle to keep from laughing at the frankly impressive side eyes being thrown in the direction of the enclosure. Like dogs hearing the word “bathtime”, ready to bolt at the first sign of movement in their direction.
Some animals go over better than others: the penguins are an absolute hit, Derek loves the giraffes while Ava looks ready to cry, and the reverse occurs in the reptile and bug house; both laugh themselves nearly sick at the monkeys, watch the big cats with quiet awe, look at the flamingos like they’re aliens, and the hippopotamus is met with a resounding *absolutely not*. It was mostly okay until it opened its mouth, then both kids had to have a break at the petting zoo area and an ice cream to calm them down.The day is long and tiring in the best way, much better than either Simon or Johnny had hoped for. There are no tantrums, few tears, and neither kid seems too affected by their missed nap, the excitement of the day keeping them alert and happy. Everything’s going quite well, maybe even a little too well, but neither man is willing to voice it lest they jinx themselves. Of course, the universe has other plans, and as Simon is paying for the toy each child picked out in the gift shop, he hears a familiar wail and curses under his breath, hurriedly grabbing the bag and receipt and thanking the cashier before walking quickly outside where Johnny had gone ahead with the little ones to get them settled in the car after picking out their toys so they wouldn’t have to wait in line too.
The sight that greets him has him frozen in his tracks for a moment, blinking in sheer befuddlement. Johnny’s knelt on the ground, two small bags of Cheerios scattered around the trio, Derek clinging to his side and absolutely losing it bawling as Johnny holds Ava back by the hood of her jacket, their daughter fighting his hold and screaming, apparently entirely prepared to 1v1 a peacock while her brother sobs behind her. Shaking off his surprise, Simon makes his way over and crouches down with them, gently extricating Ava from Johnny’s grip to give his husband the ability to comfort the crying boy clinging to him. Turning her so she’s facing him instead of the bird she looks ready to pluck and fry herself like an overgrown ostentatious chicken, he speaks in a calm and steady voice to guide her to calm down, to help her regulate her emotions. “Hey, let’s take a sec, deep breaths, love. Take a couple deep breaths with me, that’s it, there we go. Gettin’ worked up won’t solve anything, everything makes more sense with a clear head.”
Once he’s confident she’s not about to wring the neck of the nearest kaleidoscope goose, he lets go of her to start gathering the remaining cheerios that haven’t already been scooped up by the demonic feathered vacuum. “What happened, bug?” He asks her, keeping an eye on her in case she changes her mind and decides that violence is, in fact, the answer.
In the most indignant, incensed tone he had ever heard from his normally sweet and kind little girl, Ava snapped, “Flamboyant fuckin’ twat stole Derek’s snack!”
For the second time in five minutes, Simon freezes for a moment to try to adjust to the situation. He can hear Johnny poorly suppressing wheezing, choked off giggles behind him, and even Simon himself is struggling to keep a lid on his own amusement. “Well,” he mutters under his breath, “guess we haven’t been as good at watching our language around them as we thought…”
@ladyswiftpaw your request is complete, enjoy the fruits of my carpal tunnel 🙃
If anyone has requests, please by all means request them! The more detail the better but I'll make do with what I have, I'll write for just about any fandom and most scenarios, I'm really enjoying getting back into writing. Please feed the gremlins in my head so they may multiply!
#cod#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soapghost#soap cod#family bonding#gentle parenting#idk i thought it was cute#request
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how we feel about call of duty kaiju horror?
(I’m watching a Godzilla movie tonight so✨)
-🫀
it's the fact that you knew exactly what you were doing with each keystroke that's killing me here
vibrating at a speed imperceptible to the human eye: i feel pretty normal about it.
okay i'm at a low point mental-health-slash-hope-in-the-world wise rn which means ofc i've been thinking about my sweet baby puppy, godzilla, a lot recently. just something about a larger than life monster of our own making come to visit hell upon us that's rather apt, you know?
so originally i was just gonna ramble about that as a response to this - and how easily you could plug an elite squad of soldiers into that formula, make them the focus as they fight back against the kaiju. do it kinda like shin godzilla, maybe, where it's more a procedural than anything to highlight the incompetence of their orders - the us versus them, versus it; where the pieces are government/military officials, civilians, and of course the kaiju. and then bring it back around to what they have to resort to to actually get the job done. trusting the people most effected by the actions of their overhead, and all that. which i'm super into, but knew wouldn't necessarily have made for a good fic. and then beloved @stellewriites did what she does best and seduced me into writing a little snippet after suggesting the focus be more on the after-effects, like a cloverfield situation.
and she was fucking right, but unfortunately that's not what i ended up doing here because i saw kaiju horror and blanked out a bit writing an action scene lmao.
shelling, active fire, hand to hand combat. nothing prepares you for something like this.
hell, even falling out of a hele hadn't been this bad - hadn't instilled within him this fear, just before drop, all kitted out and ready for action. as if anything on their persons could actually defend them from the screeching behemoth below. offense had been unofficially deemed hopeless. not even the stealth bombers had done any good, their blast zones only succeeding in creating more debris, more shrapnel. more rubble to bury the first wave of casualties.
they'd been assured there wouldn't be any more bombing, not while there were boots on the ground trying to minimize the growing death toll, guiding the frantic packs of terrified civilians looking for refuge.
gaz was fairly sure they had told the first deployment the same thing.
it's a struggle not to assess his team, so he doesn't fight it. takes in their expressions as they hang out the open side of the blackhawk, faces underlit by flame and heat. they look grim, worse than he's ever seen them. but cap's voice is still his standard surly growl over the comms when he tells nik to bring them closer to the… thing.
ghost is the only one brave enough to question him. "price?"
"just want a better look," the captain grumbles, as if the scale of it could even allow for some sort of misunderstanding.
"it's a big ass lizard, cap," gaz supplies, unable to hold his tongue as the creature looms closer, nik's steady hand bringing the hele up and over its head, outside of the range of its relatively short arms. "what more do you need to see?"
price eyes him, chill of his gaze turned gunmetal in the thin light. a warning. "don't know enough about it to be fightin' it."
"are we fightin' it then, cap?" soap, borderline hopeful. like he thinks he can save the world with a well-placed sticky bomb, even after everything he's seen.
"you saw what it did in pari -!"
price cuts him off. "might have to. should know more about it."
like it's got an achilles' heel they'll be able to spot while dropping, their flare lights casting a grim red glow over the mountainous mass of plates and scales. they ring it as best they can - a valiant effort to keep their paracords untangled. from each other, from the mess of wires clinging to the skeleton frames still standing. from it. gaz lucks out, manages to draw its head. his flare light casts eerie shadows on the smoke behind it, jagged cuts of spiny bone that reach like fingers skyward, as if to pluck the circling hele from the air like no more than a noisome fly hanging over head. there's a gradual slope across a heavy brow, its face wide-set and surprisingly flat, as if evolution knew it wouldn't be snuffling around in the dirt for food no matter what hellish recesses of the earth it had crawled out of. he sees the teeth first, blanched and deadly in a mouth that gapes slightly, soft pink tissue glinting with drool in the wan, flickering light. the shape of it seems to shift in the smoke, disorienting in its incomprehensibility. gaz tracks the nose - up, in, across -
the eye rolls, a ring of sclera giving it an unexpected humanity. it's beady, the iris the same dark, muddy sort of gray that blends with the rest of its plating. defensive evolutionary traits. against what, gaz did not want to know. it flickers red and orange in the light. alive, wary. a thick nictitating membrane draws back, reveals a depth of color which can't quite hide the pupil - nor the way it dilates, trained on him.
it ducks his head as he falls, assessing just as much as gaz is. he reaches for his gun, automatic, and the ridge of brow above its eyes twitches, lowers. there's a series of pops, loud enough to hear even above the thunder of air in his ears, and then a light flickers to life in its gullet, electric blue and feeble in its infancy.
debrief hadn't mentioned bioluminescence. he decides he does not want to be the first one to find out what that's about.
tipping himself forward, he propels himself faster. his angle widens, brings him around the creature's side a bit, out of its field of view. he follows along its broad flank, dipping past huge, clawed hands which curl as if in disgust as he passes. he pulls his chute somewhere around its hip, tries to plot his land despite his general lack of visibility. he's just settled on a gap in the buildings up ahead when the air stirs, a quick updraft that rocks him where he hangs, sending smoke swirling as something slices through it, maybe twenty meters above the ground. he keeps his eyes peeled for another jumper, cautious about mixed lines even though he should still be well away from soap's position.
but it's not another jumper. he sees it first in the reflection of a busted window, shatter-proof glass left hanging concave in its frame. light catches in it, a sporadic wisp refracting through the crumple points, pulsing with movement. electric blue.
he casts about for its source, finds it off to his right. it slips through the air like a knife, smooth and deadly enough to have him running through a list possible drone types he may have run afoul of. he comes up short, though he wouldn't be surprised to learn they'd resorted to test tech. last thing he needs, though he doesn't start to seriously worry until another one appears, just slightly larger, moving in sync with the first. they arch out and around to his left just as another flickers to light directly before them. again, slightly larger than the last - though maybe a little bit closer to it as well.
the next one is heralded by a quiet humming, low enough he thinks he's imagining things until his feed starts crackling with static. he pulls his cords so he can face it more fully, and the chain of lights whip away from him, circle back behind the creature with enough force to shift the air again, unexpected draft pulling him up, up.
the beast faces him, turned fully with a deadly kind of silence kyle hadn't expected. its mouth hangs agape, faint blue light leaking from between its teeth, painting the surrounding smoke blue until it looks like xenon breath, just as fatal. the aura seems to build around it, and it takes gaz much too long to realize its being backlit, the strange lights gathering behind it until the smoke all around glows blue and white and it bows, sinks to his level with an open maw. the light in its throat crystallizes into a cold white while building in intensity, lock step with the intimidation display climbing over its shoulders, the massive plates there flickering to life, veined with phosphorescence.
he'd be nowhere in life if he hadn't learned to listen - when needed, at least.
suspended as he is, his options are limited. he yanks at cords that do nothing, the air gone so still in the creature's deadly silence that it won't even let him fall. like a vacuum, just waiting for the collapse.
"fuck. shit," he hisses, panic building.
the thing shakes its head, an audible rumble building alongside the deafening hum of static. gaz pulls his emergency release and feels his stomach fall before he does, tumbling away after it with flailing limbs, unable to even right himself into a controlled dive before he's catching his full weight on his shoulder, the composite hull of a hele groaning under his mass before the world tilts sideways once more, flops him onto his stomach where his cheek grinds into dirt and metal runners.
"flare!" a thick accent calls from over head, and kyle has just enough wits about him to recognize that the thick trail of red crawling along the floor of the hele is coming from him. he draws a knee up, hands swatting uselessly at himself in search of the strap that keeps the flare tied to his ankle, smoke filtering through his mask until he's -
it's hard to tell what happens first, the blinding light or the g-force which crashes into the hele from above - pushes it down even as he stays in place, colliding with the ceiling hard enough to knock the remaining wind out of him. alarms erupt all over the dash, the noise of them blotted out by a stillness in his ears, as if they'd been submerged - an immense pressure against his eardrum which stifles even his own pulse.
until it didn't, sound rushing back in a cacophony of sirens and shrieking metal, the creature's roar only drown out by the dull sound of impact and the sudden build of force that follows, glass shattering as buildings shook and crumbled. nik curses, something in russian. flare smoke builds in the cab but it doesn't even matter, not when the debris outside the windshield is so thick nik can't even see the approaching church until he's almost gone through the belfry. he banks right, hard, and gaz has a panicked moment of free fall as the open door he'd already fallen through twice today rolls to meet him and he slips through it once more, fingers barely even managing to catch on the frame before he's falling again, a two story drop into the blessedly bare church courtyard with a winded huff, vision tunneling as he stares up uncomprehendingly at the streak of light that's pierced the sky, the burning after-image of a gale force he simply has no framework for.
when he wakes up, it's to a world on fire.
if anyone is interested in that kinda post apocalyptic world, lmk. i don't wanna do any sort of series here but kaiju are my lifelong hyperfixation so i'm always happy to ramble about this sort of setting :)
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Dear Tiger, I have always recommended your blog to many people who are interested in the X-Files. My recommendation goes something like this: “Brilliant analysis, well-founded opinions, without unnecessary judgments about the actors' private lives. But beware! The blog is very fond of David and can't be impartial. It's not hostile, but, even unconsciously, it minimizes Scully's importance and Gillian's talent, to the detriment of Mulder and Duchovny. Imagine the blog as if it were a proud mother talking about a beloved child, extolling (and greatly exaggerating) their qualities, and ignoring their flaws. In conclusion, if you allow for this fierce protection of David, it's one of the best - if not the best - blog about the X-Files.” When I read his analysis of the questions posed by Anon, I couldn't help but smile and remember this recommendation of mine. Duchovny is lucky to have such loyal and positive fans, who get to see the best version of him, always. An excellent 2025 to you Tiger, I'll always keep coming back and recommending your blog.🥰🥰 PS: On this particular topic, I think about 85% of your analysis is correct - but there's about 15% that I disagree with, I think it's more of a speculation/interpretation favorable to Duchovny, than exactly the reality.
I was reading this feeling all fuzzy before I got to the "impossible to be impartial" bit. XDDDD
Ah, well. Do I come across as partial? o.o Hm, I can tone down my language in future if needed-- don't mean to come across as if I hero worship (or mentally coddle) DD. His personal life isn't intertwined with mine, for one; and he's also a man who behaved selfishly, made terrible mistakes, and didn't learn gratitude until AA. He's probably still selfish because all humans are; but he's also made personal changes, has grown a lot, and continues to prove-- via his work and actions and interests and mindset-- that he isn't regressing. I give him the charitability I hand to any other person I deem 'good' and 'doing their best'. Ultimately, I just get super happy for others who are trying and are succeeding or are on the path to their own version of success. :DDDDDD
I will say, you do raise a point I've been mulling over: I don't talk about Gillian as much as I do David solely because I haven't found a blog that gives me all her work/projects/interviews/etc. up front. Though I will stipulate that I don't see the sense in taking his side over hers-- there aren't sides in their relationship to me. And I'm fond of her, too! :))))))) She did incredible work on The X-Files, and incredible work afterwards. And she powered through the 90s as a divorced, single mom with mental health struggles, which is worthy of an award. Again, I simply have less easy access to her work. I do heavily disagree that I minimize GA's importance and talent, unconsciously or not: she's part of a team; and she carried the show on her back in David's absence. That more than wins her a medal of honor. Moreover, Scully is irrefutably a woman so forward-moving and inspiring in her own right that the Scully Effect was created in her honor. (She also inspired me to take better care of my nails. Her manicures are spectacular.) You can't have the show without her.
Now that I've got my comments out of the way, thank you so, so much for dropping in to let me know your thoughts! Your words were (and are) so kind; and the knowledge that you spread my work to others, and that they might enjoy it, too, is... it's wonderful. And if you have to buffer my blog ahead of time however you need, go ahead. As long as others know what they're getting into, I suppose. XDDDD It really does mean the world. We all have days where we wonder if we're just shouting into a void; and some days the void is wider and darker than others. But knowing that you and others think my meta is worthwhile... it puts a lot into perspective. And being described how you've described me is.. thank you. So, you know what? I'll wear "loyal and positive fan" with pride, even if you punch on "Impartial"-- it's how you honestly see me; and I'm not at all offended about that. Now that I've thought about it, I'm downright amused.
Lastly, disagreement is always welcome! If you want to share, I'd be curious to know what the particulars are-- it keeps me on my toes by forcing me to double check my own opinions. >:DDDDD
I'll definitely be rereading this ask in future when the void gets bothersome. Thank you, thank you!
#asks#anon#I feel called out XDDDDD#I guess I'm more lenient in my language because I don't find DD doing something currently objectionable#that's completely dependent on others' moral or ethical barometer so I 100% understand the disagreement there#and I've had horrific “aha” moments that completely topple previous meta ideas that took hours (or months) to construct#so I'm far from perfect#if I get in conflicts with my own past notions of course I'm gonna have flawed takes >:DDDD#I do “amp up” my personality here because I view this as me providing entertainment to others#in real life I'm more... flat? realistic than optimistic?#(I thought I was an optimist... then I came across an optimist recently#nope not that)#so perhaps my overtly cheerful nature tends to detract from my overall credibility... but it's staying >:DDDDD#rambling aside-- if you're reading the tags thank you again and again#you're very tender in your description of me despite our disagreements; and I'm appreciative :DDDD
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here's a question do u guys think elena will ever reach #1 in the world. and not by "happenstance" through other players getting injured or something similar. like winning another grand slam and/or more 1000s etc. and accruing enough points to faithfully surpass whoever is #1 at that time? and DONT say it depends on her health bc thats a given. i mean peak elena rybakina do u think she is #1 inevitable or no. explain pls.
#no bald option u have to choose one or the other#im conflicted.#she can beat both iga and aryna in 1v1 matchups but getting no1 really takes consistency more than anything else#which is the one thing i think elena majorly lacks#even when she's not struggling with health#re: losing to blinkova at ao when i thought she was gonna win the whole tournament#i dont think she'll be like a long time running no1 if she does get it#but i could definitely see her getting it for the short term if she wins wimby again (which i think is very much achievable)
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You should’ve see my face when I read ‘feminine’. This is why you will never get me to join that fandom. Do they not know that Shonda Rhimes is a BLACK woman who has made it her mission to be the sole reason why loving v Virgina doesn’t get overturned that woman lovers her a swirl. You’re not going to get a same race relationship out of her for main character. Also Micheal is John’s cousin why would he be white.
And let me stick this one here talking shit about this fandom I’ll drop this screenshot here. Let’s not try to remember what twitter thread or tweet this was from it’s two years old. Saying that Simon was a dark skin lead is crazy and they knew that not what op meant by dark skin women
#anti bridgerton#anti bridgerton fans#bridgerton#fandom racism#don’t read to much into to the tags#and ppl wonder why rege jean page left and won’t come back hell marina left because she had to put herself in a mental hospital#but this is the fandom she cultivated and wanted ig#if she wanted a more ‘tame’ fanbase she would’ve adapted a regency era book from a black author not one that was racist#but then again she did create greys anatomy and we all know how that fandom is#they wanna say the quiet part out loud with tiptoeing around so bad#every regency era show with black fans are racist because the buccaneers ppl hate alisha bø’s character for breathing#and someone on tiktok just abt called the mixed dude a slur and told the main character to go with theo so she could live a fantasy#remember when ruby baker (marina) said that the ppl behind the show did nothing to protect amongst other things#and ppl said she was being ungrateful and were chewing her up unintentionally proving her point#you can only see ppl calling and being excited for you characters to die of suicide for so long before it gets to you#remember when ppl were arguing with ppl who said it would be in bad taste to kill off marina via suicide#when her actor was going through mental health struggles then those same ppl when they found out she was leaving#got excited because it meant that the show was sticking to the book and going to kill her off even tho she left for mental health reasons#possibly brought on by this horrible fandom
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Primrose: It just feels like something happened that wasn't supposed to, you know? Something in him died that night, Fress. *voice wavers* I don't know how to bring him back.
Fresca: ... I once felt the same thing about you, Rose. It took time but you came back to us. Maybe all we can do right now is wait for him to ask for help.
#ts4 legacy#ts4 storytelling#ts4#berry sweet sims#pastel rainbowcy#dream bpr#dream gen 3#fresca de sandia#primrose dream#the big thing rose is worried about here of course is andromeda#if hib really starts to struggle it opens the door for her to make contact and potentially even worse#just like we saw with primrose when she was younger#hooray mental health allegories!!#also fresca ;-;#she's reliving some painful memories rn
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Aaooughh razclem on the brain
#they’re sosososo interesting to me#I hc that Clem had a crush on Raz back at camp#also that he got attached to Raz since from what Raz says abt his dad before meat circus ( ie him being anti psychic )#Clem related super hard bc his own dad is very anti psychic ( also just an overall abusive person )#so when he actually meets Augustus in that short period of time before RoR/Pn2#and finds out that he’s actually a decent person#Clem is kinda crushed bc he thought he had someone who had a similar struggle to him#which festers into a bitter jealousy when he’s older#which isn’t helped by the fact when Clem joins the intern program Raz is kinda dead set on trying to help Clem with his issues#bc Raz feels really guilty for not realizing back at camp#( he doesn’t do the walking on eggshells thing like he did with Crystal though )#but due to Clems attitude he starts to get worn down#Crystal even warns Raz not to push himself to help Clem at the expense of his mental health/well being#bc she herself was in a very similar position before she and Clem had their falling out#but Raz doesn’t listen and eventually Clem goes too far and makes a really nasty remark about Razs family ( possibly maligua related )#and Raz loses it#he and Clem get into a huge fight and after that they avoid eachother or get into arguments with eachother#I have many more thoughts abt this but I’m gonna run out of tags lol#psychonauts#clem foote#razputin aquato
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watching a youtuber talking abt a horror movie and itis so obvious when somebody has only talked to mental health professionals for like. depression or anxiety* . bc shes sitting here like Woah i dont understand this guys like engaged to a therapist why doesnt he understand that someone being mentally ill doesnt mean theyre an evil scary person... I am sorry to say this but even being a mental health professional doesnt mean you dont think mentally ill ppl r evil and scary and gross
*this is an assumption on my part bc this yter has never talked about having anything other than those afaik Obv its her right not to just in my experience and the experience of other ppl ive spoken to . it seems like if you have pretty much anything other than those and talk to a therapist you would not have this idea that mental health professionals are like. inherently understanding and whathaveyou
#idk if im wording this right. what i mean is i was having a conversation with my most recent therapist and i planned to talk abt some of my#thangs and then she started talking abt how psychopaths r sooooo fucking scary and shes glad none of her parents r psychopaths and i was#like ohhh this is not a safe space suddenly . <- idt i personally am a psychopath but i think its 1. just disgusting to say something like#that ever 2. esp as a mental health professional 3. why r u telling me at all abt yr other patients its . unprofessional to me. but idk.#that combined with some stuff she said abt bpd and etc. rly made me like Oh i can not talk to this woman abt any of my actual serious stuff#and that wasnt the first kind of experience ive had with a person like that like. ive talked to therapists abt my dissociating in the past#and like. ive never felt safe to discuss my hallucinations even when they were rly rly rly bad last year bc i like. some of these therapist#were surprised when i said i struggled with hygiene bc of the depression like. guys cmon ... idk. thisis not a particularly thoughout post#i just thought abt it while watching the video#idk so many youtubers i watch talk up therapy sm and im like Happy it helps them and im happy like. etc. and obv idk what all goes on in#their lives but im kind of sick of ppl talking abt talk therapy like itll fix everything for everyone ever. like im not talking abt just#being like Oh therapy helped me etc but a lot of ppl r like I dont get why ppl dont go to therapy like 1 money 2 like. idk man. the psych#industry is so evil it like. makes me so mad. IDK all of this is halfthoughts im just talking recreationally#oh another disclaimer bc i worry i came off weird by specifying i only mentioned idt im a psychopath bc the sentence b4 that seemed like i#was implying i was. i wasnt trying to be like IM not one of THOSE GUYS i just didnt want anybody to get confused. ok sry
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sometimes I believe that My tendency to avoid telling My family when I'm having health issues is just the result of avoidant cognitive distortions, but then I actually do it, get told that it's "normal" and/or a lifestyle issue, and realize the real cognitive distortion was expecting help at all -_-
#personal#I'm struggling to breathe and My heart rate is high. inhaler doesn't help. go tell My mom about it and she says#1. try again. 2. drink water. 3. eat a mint. 4. I'm getting fat#and then last time I told her about this same issue she said#1. I have anxiety from too much silence (I'm auditorily hypersensitive? noise gives Me anxiety not the other way around)#2. I'm so sedentary that it's only natural that standing up would give Me tachycardia (I obviously stand up multiple times a day everyday)#3. I don't need a therapist (which I've been asking for) I need a physician#and it's just a ton of excuses to deny what I'm saying. because how is it just in My head but I need a physician?? make up your mind#am I crazy or sick. it's literally just whatever makes Me look like I need the least intervention in that moment#medical neglect is a bitch man. it's not even that she doesn't want Me to be healthy. she absolutely does#but she just never wants to believe that it's THAT bad. I can't have anxiety because it's just cabin fever#I can't be delusional because I'm just spiritually gifted. I can't have an arrhythmia because I'm just fat. so on and so forth#she constantly doubts that I'm doing anything for My health on My own (I literally asked for a fitness boxing game this christmas#and yet she doesn't believe that I exercise in My own time until I outright tell her)#and never believes that I'm suffering beyond something that can easily be solved. it's so patronizing#she acts like I've never heard of breathing exercises for anxiety or exercise for hypertension. everyone knows that!!#you acknowledge that I know so much EXCEPT when Me being knowledgeable on a subject would mean that I'd be able to recognize when My health#is failing. once she said she thought I had hypochondria as a child and I increasingly believe that influences how she sees My health today#she said she never told a doctor because she didn't want Me to be dismissed in adulthood and yet she does that same thing to Me#and honestly I do get anxious about My health! I developed contamination OCD when I was fucking eight!#but that doesn't mean that I'm just being compulsive whenever I suggest a need for medical/psychiatric attention!
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#okay but being abused as a disabled person feels an extra layer of helpless#I’m stuck with my shit ass mother again and I’ve had two low episodes in the past year#she keeps threatening me over them#threatening to bring up a video she took of me against my consent years ago to throw at my doctors#and make them go after me for my episodes#im already furious at myself over my disabilities bc I struggle to even speak to people in a normal way#I just spill this mess at their feet and then continue to spill and it’s so stupid??#and. now she’s getting power over me again#it feels so ruinous#she’s attacked me every fucking time I lose consciousness around her#and she’s demanding my glucagon be a needle so she can stab me over it rather than spray powder up my nose#I cannot help what I do when blackout and seizing#I am scared and helpless and have no fucking control#she holds it against me the very few times it’s happen though#I’m so lightheaded and spinning out over it#I have to figure out how to find control over my health#over how I speak#I’m contemplating speech therapy or something when I get away from her again#but we’ll see#for now I gotta work on it on my own
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If I hear one more fucking person act all surprised that I’m disabled and then immediately cite my weight as a reason for their shock I’m going to lose the plot
#“oh but you’re so skinny!”#I hear this about as often as I hear “oh but you’re so young!”#and it’s WORSE than the age comment#because no. I am not healthy because I am skinny.#even before!! when I was healthier! IT WASNT BECAUSE I WAS SKINNY#I’ve always struggled to gain and keep weight! I’ve been underweight or just on the border of it my whole life!#the day I really looked at myself and registered that my stomach wasn’t completely flat I fucking celebrated#I look forward to gaining weight. I celebrate gaining pounds. I do not WANT to be small and skinny enough for the next wind to knock me over#stop equating skinniness with health#do not fucking tell me that I look “healthy” when you’re not LOOKING AT ME#when you don’t see the heavy bags under my eyes#or the pressure point bands around my wrists#or the heavy bruising wrapped up and down my leg#or my too-thin wrists. or my too-pale skin. or my too-broken body.#I am not healthy. I will never BE healthy. but I will also likely never not be skinny#learn the difference or do not fucking comment about it#SORRY!! just! a pet peeve of mine!!! :D#got stopped today by an old classmate who has always been oddly nosy about my business and health#I should’ve told her to just fuck off before she even got to the point where she started making comments on my appearance but#oh well#spotty speaks#vent post
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