#even well intentioned adults can make spaces dangerous for minors.

[blueratgrmln]

🌟OPEN DISCUSSION about the 2020's era of shipping culture, Sonadow in the Sonic Fandom, and how well-intended activism can circle back to the language and violence of oppressors 🌟 (Broken down into PARTS for the sake of readability and my own attention span lol. >>>FULL ESSAY HERE<<<) (>>>PREVIOUS PART HERE<<<)

PART 5

LANGUAGE AND VIOLENCE OF OPPRESSORS

Now is where I will delve into the connection between Sonadow shipping (and overall shipping) debates and how well-intentioned activism loops back into mimicking oppressors. Thinking about how Sonadow is historically important to the Sonic Franchise, the Sonic Fandom, LGBTQ+ Sonic Fans, and maybe even video game history as a whole, I feel major discomfort and even dread when I see so many people (particularly those that are young) throwing around very serious accusations at (fellow) Sonic Fans and (fellow) Sonic shippers. Accusations supporting pedophilia or pedophilia itself is one of the most egregious. I've seen it thrown at Sonadow shippers, Vector x Espio shippers because Vector is 20 and Espio is 16 (despite it being another extremely popular LGBTQ+ headcanon-ed ship due to lack of representation), and even Knuckles x Rouge because Rouge is 18 and Knuckles is 16. It strikes me as counterintuitive and unnecessary at least, and actively dangerous at most/worst, seeing fellow Queer people utilizing the morality-policing, fear tactics, surveillance methods, censorship mindset, and rhetoric/language of our oppressors and using those things against the people in their own communities. Realizing that long-time Sonadow fans who felt inspired to come out and be unapologetically Queer because of that specific ship have been facing harassment and slander from fellow Queer people (who are likely younger than them), getting called "pedos" or "dangerous" or "suspicious" or "unethical" over the mere act of creating representation and Queer Joy with fictional characters and seeking some sense of comfort while surviving homophobic environments...bluntly, my stomach is churned and my blood is boiled. The last thing we need in this rapidly backwards-turning world is more in-fighting within the broader LGBTQ+ community that distracts our thoughts, emotions, time, energy, organizing, education, community-building, and activism away from the oppressors who are causing us real-world tangible harm, suffering, and death.

A random teenager on the internet drawing fanart of Sonic and Shadow holding hands, or even random adults on the internet drawing suggestive art or outright porn of these characters, is NOT going to be the catalyst that rapidly or gradually normalizes pedophilia or inspires worldwide support for unethical relationships. And yes, this includes content about the "weirdo/unethical/dark" ships that are found in the shadowy fringes of the internet and Fandom spaces. I am uncomfortable with a lot of it myself. But those ships and the people that engage with them ALSO can't have the same level of impact and reach (key words: Same Level) that real life oppressive systems have to cause widespread suffering. The key difference that makes widespread abuse possible is that the real life oppressive systems are disguised as wholesome safe environments that develop trust and closeness with community members. Those oppressive systems and the harmful people that support them are usually NOT on the freaky/dark/weird fringes of society, they don't outwardly appear that way, and they demonize the "degenerates", not associate with any such label. The Catholic church institution is a big example, the institution covering up uncountable cases of their clergy members abusing minors while those clergy members are positioned as a pure, trusted facet of society that people actively look to for guidance, safety, and belonging.

At NO point am I ever going to say that everyone online is perfectly pure and that we should ignore everyone's behavior online. When we do encounter legitimate creeps causing harm to real people (not watered-down definitions of what being a creep means) we absolutely need to call them out and keep each other safe. HOWEVER, by pitting fellow Sonic Fans, fellow Queer people, fellow shippers against each other with this blanket "us vs them" mentality that overshadows the real life patterns and signs of how widespread oppression and real world harm happens, we end up accomplishing a lot of what our oppressors want anyway: divisions, distractions, and outright mimicking the violent language and behaviors that they display toward us at ourselves. This is the point where well-intentioned activism goes wrong and circles back around to oppression without meaning to.

Many people are super-duper-sure that they have dismantled all of their -isms and -phobias and now identify with labels and movements that are on the right side of history. But all of us STILL need to be aware of the fact that our thought patterns, behaviors, logic, and emotional responses can be tied to previously held beliefs and mindsets, and they can sometimes carry over and linger in our minds even after significant "character development". This is true even if we don't immediately realize it and think that we are a "safe person" within our own marginalized communities and for other marginalized communities. It can be really hard to identify if/when that is happening sometimes, but it is pertinent that we are actively checking in with ourselves, listening to constructive criticism, and cross-analyzing whether we are unintentionally mimicking the language, behaviors, and violence of our oppressors, and what effects that can have on the people in our shared communities and the people we care about.

PART 6 HERE

[these-written-reveries]

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@jslittlebirdie (Misc. content w/a focus on L!Joker & fluffy/soft J fics 💜)

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@ghosttownwherenoonegoes (Stranger Things/Eddie Munson/Uncle Wayne blog -lots of fics! 🖤)

@jokerownsmysoul (Arthur Fleck/Joker blog -beautiful fics 🤎)

[pillatedcompills]

People never learn.

The chances of a minor being groomed on the internet are always there. But it isn't always an adult. Most adults should already know better than to engage in such behavior, however older teens and new adults most likely do not. Young teens and even preteens are often exposed to nsfw content by older teens. The act of grooming can happen with any age range, even if there is no age gap. In todays time , it's more often for a young adult / older teen to groom a younger teen. The act of minors being in nsfw spaces do not always lead to grooming, well at least not the typical standard way grooming is viewed. Minors who are exposed to nsfw content at a young age, and go on to talk about it with other minors when they are older is an apparent thing. The odds are always unlikely, but most of the time the dangerous behavior is coming from minors themselves. In the grand scheme of things, its always likely. However older kids have a habit of seeking out younger kids, and to infect their brains with rotten degeneracy. Weird and grotesque content, fetish and deplorable material. It's only natural at this point , the cycle of abuse never ends. People don't learn, people don't change. Due to the fact that people don't understand or listen.

Mistakes are made, and people don't stop to think what they're doing. Its only culture at this point, and its a sad culture. Grooming culture is something that many people can't grasp. Grooming doesn't have to be just with romantic or sexual intentions. A power imbalance, a chemical imbalance. Anything could happen, and that's the sad truth. No matter how old you are, no matter how young you are it happens. Most people aren't aware, they grow up and repeat the same behavior shown to them. If a cycle of abuse starts, its unlikely to end. It goes on and on, without consequences. Without fear, without anything of need or use. Nothing can compare to the people you've learn to trust, using you and manipulating you into going through with horrid acts. Acts of lust, degeneracy , depravity and genuinely putrid behavior. Sure it's only natural at that age, however it should never be something that you actively share around. Self sabotage is a common thing, and its genuinely heartbreaking. The thought of this same unstoppable cycle, that will continue to occur. A cycle of trauma and abuse, something that can't be helped.

Because adults don't try to educate kids, the biggest danger is not the adults. It's the kids themselves, because you wonder where the behavior came from. The behavior stems from every instinct that goes on from a childs brain. Getting upset and not understanding that the problem is not just your own. Not making sure that you're protecting others, and instead actively making it so people know. Desperate attempts to shut down a long cycle, something that cannot be stopped. You can only sit back and watch as teens younger than you, and even older than you engage in reckless behavior, and end up harming their fellow peers.

It's a shame that it has to be this way, its only culture. Culture at the end of the day as they say.. Never changes.

[brendonuriegotcancelled]

Brendon Urie Allegations

TW: SA claims

Coca Cola Zero Festival 2009

Kam at Capetown Ostrich Farm

April 13, 2009

Another story that sounds totally real…

let’s debunk it.

Not only were Kam and Leah’s accounts created within the same few days, they were both removed from twitter and deleted their statements.

Kam is alleging they met Brendon going to catch the train home from Coca Cola Music Fest. Which, is a statement bizarre on its own. There’s no way he would just be walking around after a festival. The band had an entire trip planned including safaris and tourist outings because it was the first time they had ever been there.

Yes, you met him when you were on your way to the train station…. Except for the closest train station to the Ostrich Farm is a 4 hour+ walk.

A minor wouldn’t be driving, and South Africa is the 3rd most dangerous country in the world. There wasn’t Ubers in 2009, you would have to take a taxi to the train station, and really someone this young would most certainly need to be accompanied by an adult.

Where they “met” isn’t actually said in this allegation and the person is very vague about details, but if they had been in public with a security guard, why would he be standing there just asking the most bizarre inappropriate questions? None of this makes sense to begin with “he tried to make out with his band mates” is taken straight out of archive of our own, honestly.

Anyways…. The first image is from the show they claimed to be at

The second image is from the next day in Cape Town Square. Brendon stayed in Cape Town overnight. While this person claimed to be catching a train out of Cape Town.

More importantly, Brendon had been in the music industry long enough at that point to know not be outside where fans would run into him after shows. His security has prevented this for years at festivals, venues etc.

Kam deleted and deactivated their account when they were questioned & “surfaced” again

Though people will try to say this was just one of Brendon’s fans trying to make him look better.

The thing that stands out most to me is that at this point he had just started dating his now wife Sarah, who he pined over for 8 months because of the connection they had with one another when they met in 2008, at the time she had a boyfriend but they were brought together 8 months after meeting when she was single and have been together ever since. You can hear Brendon talk about how he met his wife below.

Brendon and Sarah started dating on February 14, 2009 which was 2 months prior to this allegation. He was absolutely enamoured by her for months before he even got to be with her. Ain’t no way he’s going around making comments to underage fans in public. Ridiculous. Sarah mentioned on a stream once as well that they had to be talking all the time when they first started dating and couldn’t get enough of eachother. Which is common when you first start dating someone.

Other loose allegations.

Death Walk: There was a user who claimed he touched her during the Death walk. This is a public very enclosed space where people are literally touching, licking and kissing Brendon without his permission and someone said they felt him grab them. Even if they did feel that how do they know it was him? Or that it was intentional? If you watch any death walk video he is singing with one hand and the other is used to touch hands with the audience and give hugs. At this point people were just making shit up as they went along. These aren’t even remotely verified.

Meet and Greet: Someone claimed he touched their hip/buttocks area at a meet and greet? Again in public? This is the most anxious dude ever, he’s already nervous to meet everybody. If you know him at all, you know he wouldn’t do this.

Here is a video of him talking to a fan who told him someone touched her while she was holding hands with her boyfriend. “It should surprise me that dudes are still pieces of shit… wow, that’s fucked up”

He tends to keep his arms above fans waists as well. If he does put an arm around them it’s initiated as a hug usually or it’s around their rib cage area.

Here’s a video from 2017 of a fan meeting him. He is very sweet and attentive but never inappropriate. He asks them questions and does everything to make them feel safe.

Facebook Allegations

A user came forward saying they had a close friend that spoke to “Brendon” on Facebook and that he “tried to ruin” their music career and sent nude photos of them to other guys. The screenshot is a text message conversation with the poster and her friend who claimed the sexual relationship they had over texts with Brendon Urie. This was a weird one, and I’m not gonna talk too much about it but I will say that Brendon has never had a Facebook account. He even made a vine back in 2013 scrolling his own name on Facebook, cracking the joke “I don’t even have a Facebook”

As I said in allegation 1, this was speculated to be Chelsey Lynn who catfished Ryan Ross (Panic’s former guitarist) in 2013. You can find the link in the first allegation post or even Google it, lots of information there. I ran out of media again but if you’ve seen anything from katkalling or oscarsass in any articles, this is what I am referring to.

While posting about this, user katkalling has a conversation with Breezy Weekes where Breezy fully states that she suspected Brendon of cheating on Sarah. WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY infuriating and ridiculous. This is another reason fans were upset about the way Breezy handled everything and still are.

What we do know is that this allegation had no proof either (only a text message from the friend who made the claims) if there was any validity it was certain to be a lie or was a catfish.

Brendon did talk about his allegations but it was a brief note at the end of addressing the Zack allegations.

Brendon stated the allegations were untrue and that he doesn’t know why they were put out there, but that his fans safety is his number one priority, always. You can listen to his full statement in the link above but here’s the clip about his own allegations.

This was it, these were the “sexual assault allegations” against Brendon Urie.

Educate yourself, educate your friends. Brendon did not deserve any of this and though this may be coming from someone who is a fan, the first two allegations made were from anonymous throw away accounts with features of fanfiction criteria & the last one was either completely made up or someone was pretending to be him to that girls friend.

I will talk about the problematic things he’s done, and the things he’s apologized for moving forward. I hope that this blog helps others see things for what they really are, and not to believe every single thing you read online without proof.

This was a tough one, I had to listen to his statement again and ended up in tears.

I love all of you.

Thanks for following me and being receptive to my evidence.

You can find part one of the allegations here

[my-darling-boy]

Genuinely asking, isn't self-diagnose with a condition kind of dangerous? Because legitimizing self-diagnosing opens a door to many malicious people who would want to exploit the fact they can self-diagnose? And in turn, make the space of autistic people worse?

Was going to skip this, but I’m writing a LONG response because I’m VERY exhausted with the amount of misinformation I see on this “self dx is dangerous” take, so buckle up and allow me to info dump.

Recently, authentic_autism_advocacy, an Instagram account run by a supposed medically diagnosed autistic woman was discovered to be a non-autistic woman, Connie Manning, posing as a medically diagnosed autistic person to spread hate and anti-self diagnosing speech. In reality, she is a neurotypical mother who regularly uses her autistic son for clout; she also turned out to have a hand behind CalmWear, a brand of sensory compression products designed for disabled people. Not only had she been spewing hatred towards other autistic people, she had been accusing well known AFAB autistic tiktokers like beckspectrum of faking being autistic and threatening self diagnosed autistics and saying they are a danger to the community, and engaging in other incredibly discriminating behaviour. Yes, she herself was a neurotypical person posing as a medically diagnosed autistic to perpetuate hateful rhetoric about self diagnosed people and used her voice to speak OVER autistic folk for financial gain and exploitation of autistic people, including her own son. If you want to read this roller coaster of a story, an autistic person wrote an entire article on it with tons of screenshots and sources.

So let me make one thing clear to you.

The purpose of actually, genuinely self diagnosing is not done to attract attention or to parade around and exploit other autistic people. Self diagnosed autistic individuals have recognised due to difficult life circumstances, financial hardship, bigotry and stigma within the medical/legal world, being a minor, lack of insurance, lack of proper access to safe care facilities, being denied assessment due to incompetent or biased practitioners, and/or any other obstacle that they may temporarily or permanently be barred from diagnosis. Self diagnosis does NOT instantly mean a person is posing for clout, nor does it indicate a person is trying to wring money from assistance services or exploit other autistics. And nts who use self diagnose with intentions of harming the community? That’s NOT self diagnosis, that’s abuse of something meant to aid people blocked from medical care or financial means to that care. All we can do for autistic people, no matter who we perceive them to be, is treat them the same way we would any other autistic person. Because the moment you start deciding by your own book who deserves respect and who doesn’t, you’ll be on a slippery slope to locking out thousands of autistic people from the community. If it’s discovered a person like Connie is literally abusing the system of self dx to intentionally mislead the community, by all means, we must hold them accountable. But you cannot simply go about granting and revoking access from people just because someone lacks a diagnosis or doesn’t fit your idea of what being autistic looks like, especially if it’s based on stereotypes.

Moral of the story? Isn’t it ironic how anti-self dx people will 100% believe a user who claims to be medically diagnosed but shows no “written proof” of it, yet always demand written proof from a self dx person? It’s almost like even anti-self dx people can’t tell the difference between someone who is medically diagnosed autistic and someone who isn’t. Well, that’s because they can’t. While there might be common traits, autism has no set model, it is a spectrum, no autistic person is alike; Policing self diagnosed people about their self diagnosis isn’t a form of protecting the community. It’s a form of gatekeeping. If you find yourself granting instant acceptance, without asking for proof, to a person insisting they are medically diagnosed like this neurotyical mother, but then prohibit self dx people from entry entirely on the grounds of not showing proof of medical assessment, you are upholding a double standard. This is why policing autistic people’s diagnosis, self or not, is inherently useless.

So here’s the thing... instead of asking people to stop self diagnosing, what you should instead be asking yourself is, “Why do people self diagnose? What kind of medical system could possibly be in place where people feel they need to resort to self diagnosis rather than get an actual diagnosis?”

Well, it’s mainly common knowledge among most of the autistic community that diagnosis is NOT easy to come by.

One of the main reasons why people cannot get a diagnosis is due to financial/insurance reasons. It’s reasonable to estimate that by the end of 2020 almost 30 million Americans alone were without health insurance. I’ve heard costs out of pocket for an autism diagnosis are between $500-$6000. If a person or a family cannot afford health insurance—which by the way on average is around $5,400 a year for a single person and $13,800 for a family here—where are they supposed to pull out $6,000 to get screened?

You might be asking, “Well aren’t insurances supposed to cover disability?” Sure, there are options for disability care through health insurance—not even going to get into that—but like a lot of things in the US, this is a severely flawed system. A lot of private health insurance will stop or limit coverage for an autism diagnosis or assistance services once a person reaches 18 to 21 years old. In most states, coverage has a higher chance of being denied to autistic adults coming with the added age cap or ONLY covering ABA, an abusive, manipulative “therapy” used to force social compliance and trait suppression on autistic people. The fact that ABA, a conversion therapy, is covered, but little else, shows exactly what insurance companies think of autistic people: they’ll only cover us if we want to learn to be “normal”. This can leave many undiagnosed autistic adults who cannot afford analysis, insurance, or safe assistance services with nowhere to turn. If I was not on my parents’ insurance, there is NO WAY I would EVER be able to afford a diagnosis. I don’t have $2,000 lying around. The MONEY ALONE would prohibit me from getting a diagnosis, no matter how many autistic traits I presented.

When I was going through this system years ago to start a diagnosis, I was shocked to find no therapist within three hours of me was accepting adult patients. “Up to 18 only” their websites would say. And in the event I had found one (1) that accepted me as a then 20 year old with X insurance, and that person refused me diagnosis, I would be out of options unless I planned a 5 hour drive which may have also led me to another biased screener. A person seeking self financed assessment can waste thousands of dollars therapist hopping.

People will say, “Well I live in X place, and where I come from, it’s covered!” Well the reality is that everyone in the world does not live where you live. It’s not realistic to assume everyone is in the same position as you or your family to afford care or access the same resources as you. When you say, “Just go out and get a diagnosis! It’s not that hard!”, understand you are speaking from your personal vantage point where screening may be easily accessed or easily covered/is free OR you have no personal knowledge of what that process is like yourself.

The second thing that bars a ton of people from being diagnosed is the fact that when autism was first discovered, its research was HEAVILY centered on white, cis, heterosexual men. The idea that autistic people are ONLY cis, white, heterosexual men carries on to this day. If you are an outlier to this stereotype, your chances of being misdiagnosed with something else or refused diagnosis skyrocket because so-called “professionals” don’t know how to observe traits in any other person besides a cis, white, heterosexual man, and refuse/fail to recognise the endless ways in which a person can be autistic. ALL the time I hear how AFAB people will go in to get screened only to find out their screener does not believe AFAB people can be autistic, because yes, sexism and anti-lgbtq+ ideas play a huge role in the incredibly outdated diagnostic process, because autism is still believed to be an “AMAB only” thing. People report going into a therapists office and being asked questions like, “Do you like going outside? Do you like having friends?” and being told that if you agree with either of these, you cannot be autistic because criteria at some places is so backwards, you can’t even say you enjoy conversation without failing the test. Other things commonly heard during the analysis are screeners telling someone they are too smart/articulate to be autistic, gas lighting them by saying they are mistaking their symptoms for something else/making them up, telling a person they seem normal, dismissing clear autistic traits by saying they’re unique “superpowers”, or intentionally misdiagnosing a person as ADHD INSTEAD of autistic. People on social media have also pointed out what influences racism has on the diagnostic process as well and how lack of research and understanding of autistic POC contributes to under-diagnosis and stigma has only contributed to refusal of care and under-representation of POC in the disabled community, as one autistic Black woman points out on Instagram, “I found excellent articles that support and validate my feelings and experiences, but I could find no research on autistic Black people.” Additionally, because research has primarily been done on young men, this means anyone who is not a cis man and is over the age of 18 and is seeking a diagnosis has a much higher chance of not receiving one because screeners don’t understand how autistic traits may present differently in adults, especially since adults are very likely to mask. Some autism screeners are so against autism they have told clients they would only diagnosis a person autistic if it was their last resort to avoid “placing a burden on their shoulders”. These reasons are largely responsible for why autism is incredibly mis/under-diagnosed. This ask would be the length of a novel if I included every single type of discrimination and mistreatment during the evaluation process alone, but understand it can be incredibly biased, sexist, transphobic, racist, or just flat out ableist. And guess what? Though this process can take as little as a month to get sorted, that is rare. The assessment SHOULD be very short. But a lot of autistic people have reported their diagnosis took more than 2-4 years because of having to waste time, energy, and money hopping from therapist to therapist looking for someone to take them seriously, as many autistic people compiled on the actuallyautistictiktoks page on Instagram point out.

The last thing I want to touch on is this idea that people have that self diagnosing is dangerous. “What if someone self diagnoses and they take advantage of services that are meant for autistic people?” ...The Big Things you think I am going to take advantage of as a self diagnosed autistic person, like scholarship money for instance or SSDI, I do not have legal access to without a formal diagnosis. I cannot waltz into a law firm and ask for a $5,000 scholarship for autistic people without a diagnosis, because they WILL NOT give it to me!

Let me tell you some of things I’ve “cruelly taken advantage of” as a self diagnosed autistic person. I bought glasses with blue light protection, because screen and fluorescent lighting at work and even natural blue toned light from the sky lowers my threshold for some sensory input like noise and social interaction; wearing them to work everyday has improved my sensory thresholds incredibly. I’ve talked to my manager and told him I’m autistic and that I have a hard time understanding vague direction and may need to step away briefly on occasion to tend to a shutdown before a meltdown comes on at work; he had no problem with this. I use subtitles; sometimes I have trouble processing audio or reading facial expressions and tone, and being able to see the words displayed on the screen gives me a significantly better understanding of what I watch. All my life, I have been having meltdowns which I had mistaken for mental breakdowns or panic attacks and having access to resources that walked me through preventative methods and tips on what to do if I have one has been ENORMOUSLY helpful to me. All my life, I was trying to deal with them thinking they were something else; becoming aware of this and accepting that they are in fact autistic meltdowns has helped me not only go through them, but has helped me redirect stims which at their worst previously had me hitting and clawing my arms, slapping my face, and even hitting my head. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wait 4 years for a diagnosis to use resources I could be using to make my life more accessible right now!

People will say, “Oh well yeah, I don’t mean You are one of Those Types of self diagnosed autistic people, you clearly sound/look autistic, I’m talking about other people.” The thing is, there is no broad “sounding/looking autistic”, that’s stereotyping, and you can’t demand everyone who interacts with you show you their Autistic Card, because again, not everyone is able to be diagnosed, especially given the mistreatment and stigma present towards autistic people in the medical field! And what made you ask for their diagnosis? Because they “don’t seem autistic” to you? Why didn’t you ask for their diagnosis? Because they “seemed autistic” to you? By denying anyone who doesn’t have a diagnosis resources they may very well need, you are denying assistance to thousands of people who are without means to be diagnosed. And I am SO tired of seeing comments online on self diagnosis posts that “people don’t know what they’re taking about” as if they know us personally, like are you me? Are you my doctor I’ve consulted? Did you watch me academically research and consult with other autistic people about being autistic for over 3 years? I’m tired of “well, one time a self diagnosed person laughed at my actually autistic diagnosed friend...so all self dx people are evil” because there is ZERO correlation between a person being self assessed and their behavior towards a non self assessed person. The fact both those arguments are in use whenever self dx comes up is yet another form of gatekeeping.

Self diagnosing autism is not begging for attention or Evil Criminal Money Funneling Schemes. It is a result of a deeply flawed medical and insurance system that has failed to give proper attention and care to those who need it, it is a result of resources not made available, of safe support systems not there for kids and adults alike. You want to talk about what’s truly dangerous? How the hate group Autism Speaks has been parading itself around since 2005 as an advocacy group for autistic people and has been misusing millions of dollars worth of donation money and promoting stigma and hatred around autistic people; no autistic members are present on their board. How Sia and her new film Music was nominated for 2 Golden Globes despite it replacing the original autistic actor with a neurotypical actor, using offensive stereotypes, and using the main autistic character as a prop, and featured an extremely dangerous bodily restraint scene on an autistic person having a meltdown in public and featured very insensitive content due to Sia’s lack of consulting with autistic people to make the film (spoilers in that article).

Instead of policing autistic people, whether they fit your idea of what an autistic person is or not, redirect your efforts and your energy to dismantling systems and holding others accountable for perpetuating harmful stereotypes about autistic people that are legitimately dangerous on such a scale that they have created insurmountable damage to the autistic community. But I guarantee you, worrying over whether your classmate is “faking it” will not do any justice to the decades worth of discrimination autistic people face still today.

I understand. You care about the community, you don’t want autistic people to be exploited or taken advantage of. I don’t want to be exploited and taken advantage of as an autistic person, and I don’t want that for others! But I also understand that when we self proclaim ourselves as judges of random autistic strangers on the internet or start accusing people of faking or demanding to see medical paperwork from people when the basis of our suspicions is “this person doesn’t look like my stereotyped view on how I think an autistic person should act”, THAT is when you really run into trouble. Because if you are allowed to deny self dx people entrance into the autistic community, what’s stopping you from thinking you have the power to deny ANYONE entrance into that community?

And there is power in self diagnosis for many autistic people. When the evaluation system is literally rigged to set you up for failure and put you through unnecessary hardship, self dx is a self affirming, empowering tool to take back control from a process designed to gaslight and crush you. The evaluation process was NOT formulated by an autistic person, nor was it made to be inclusive of all autistic people. Until the evaluation system in place for autistic people is safe, accessible, and free to ALL, you have EVERY right to self diagnose.

[deoxyrebornucleic]

Actually, I know what I'm going to use this blog for.

Howdy, call me Yoshi. Around 2 years ago now, I ran a Monster Prom writing blog called damien-lavey-is-a-power-bottom. I wrote NSFW fanfictions and headcanons about Monster Prom characters on this blog, and when I deleted it I had over 600 followers, one of whom was a writer on the Monster Prom team.

The Monster Prom fandom was the kindest, most respectful fandom I ever took part in. I love the community and the devs, and I hope everyone reading this post understands my intentions in coming forward with this.

First off, I have a confession to make. I started the Monster Prom blog at 15 years old. The first NSFW post was made when I was 16, and I continued writing for around a year and a half, deleting the blog when I was 17.

I lied about my age multiple times because I knew what I was doing was wrong and that I could get people in trouble. I deeply apologize for what I did. I was hypersexualizing myself through my writing as a trauma response, but even so, what I did was not okay by any means. I am not mentioning my trauma as a means to guilt trip, but as a means to explain what was going through my head and why I chose to ignore the harm I could do.

What I did was wrong, I understand and accept that, and I apologize to anyone I could have possibly hurt. But that isn't the only thing I want to come forward about.

When I was 16 years old, the user @/theotakufairy, also known as Mari, reached out to me via DM's and we began roleplaying sexually explicit content between our OC's and various Monster Prom characters. Mari was 19, turning 20. I remember drawing a picture of her and the character Damien LaVey holding hands as a birthday present.

This continued for around a year and a half. I did not come clean to her about my real age until after I deleted the blog and she found me on Discord. These are the messages I sent her.

I was under the impression that Mari thought I was an adult all this time.

I was wrong.

Mari clearly states that she knew I was a minor and continued to write nsfw things with me, and that she has done the same thing with other minors.

She justified her behavior by saying that I was 17, and not a baby, but it had begun when I was 16 and she knew that. She also said that other minors were doing far more NSFW things than me and made me feel safe, as though I hadn't done anything wrong.

Let me be clear; I absolutely did something wrong. I invaded adult NSFW spaces as a minor and not only was that wrong on a moral level, it was also dangerous for me and everyone I interacted with.

The Monster Prom blog is now deleted and I have no record of our conversations in those DM's, but I do have messages from her on my personal blog dating back to August of 2019. I was 16 at the time and we had already been chatting and roleplaying for a few months.

I fully admit that what I did was wrong and that I put myself in a dangerous place, but Mari knew everything and continued to take advantage of me as a vulnerable teenager.

I often vented to her about my home life, how my parents were divorcing, the abuse I was going through, etc. Her response, more often than not, was offering to roleplay as an escape to get my mind off it. These roleplays were often sexual in nature.

Mari knew fully well that I was a vulnerable, traumatized teenager who was lying about their age to act in NSFW ways online. She knew for over a year and said nothing to either stop me or steer me towards more healthy coping mechanisms, and instead she took advantage of me.

I know she is in at least one fandom that has a lot of minors in it - the Danganronpa fandom. Please, if you are a minor, do not interact with her. She is predatory. Get away as fast as you can, block her on everything. Keep yourself safe.

I will be tagging this with tags from both the Monster Prom fandom and the Danganronpa fandom since I know she is active in both fandoms. Appropriate trigger warning tags will also be there. If there is a trigger warning tag you feel I should add, please let me know and I will add it as soon as possible.

Again, I'm sorry for any damage I did while I was operating the Monster Prom blog. I was in the wrong, I paid the price, and I'm ready for any backlash I may recieve. It's worth it as long as people are sufficiently warned about Mari and her predatory behavior.

I turn 19 tomorrow. I hope coming forward about this helps me move on so I can start healing, not only from this, but from the things that lead me to Mari in the first place.

Thank you for reading. Stay safe.

[vega-482]

-No i wasn't in the position yuo were in, some months ago when I was banned from a server, I was somewhat in the position Shina is in right now, but fortunately I was not being seen as a pedo or groomer, just maybe as a stalker of sorts

-I think that whenever we make an announcement about someone on the internet, it is our responsibility to choose our words carefully, especially each time we point out big mistakes or bad actions someone has done. Whenever I've had felt the need to voice out my concerns about someone's wrongdoings, I've always remembered and had in mind that said person could be sent harassment or death threats, because I've seen it happen countless times, so I always try to be careful on how I handle those sorta situations with the people I inform about it

-What i would have done is what I stated in the previous paragraph, plus what I've done in the past is explicitly saying not to harass the person and just block them and move on, as well as not being ambiguous about the actions they have made (which I have done in many instances) describing everything in full lenght and adding context from both my part and as much context I can from other parties involved, and try to narrate the acts chronologically and with as much detail as possible

-I am not entirely sure of what your age might be, but being on the internet not only in the english speaking part, but in multilingual spaces since I (unfortunately) was very young, so yes I've seen people trying to pass their kink content as sfw, especially when being in the furry fandom for an incredibly long time, both in the english speaking part and in my own country. However if you were to look at shina's nsfw pieces you'd notice that she doesn't even draw mpreg or portrays anything similar in the pieces that were purposefully made to provoke sexual arousal. And even after being told that the fic was never meant to represnt kinks or anything of the like, you insisting that it is, in my opninion is just reading too much into it. Just because you see a piece of media having something that could be considered a kink to many people on it, doesn't mean that was the intention of the author. (like hypnosis in many cartoons, etc)

-We have already stated that the drawing was NOT meant to be seen as romantically either, but I guess we can't keep discussing this if you keep insisting that it is (even if that was not the original intention of the drawing)

-While I do agree that shina has had some troubles with overstepping boundaries, and I agree that can be potentially dangerous for minors (like the minor reading a nsfw fic they shouldn't) my statement remains that it wasn't her intention to porposefully enfanger minors, and that it all could've been resolved in a better way, which it unfortunately wasn't, and now all of this is the consequence of the poor handling. -I wouldn't say misinformation was spread, but as it has been said thousands of times, the wording of the anouncemente WAS misleading, which ultimately made people panic and think shina was being accused of being a pedo/groomer. And no one here is excusing shina's behaviour, it is being acknowledged that she did fuck up badly in many instances, but also there were fuck ups in the other side as well, which is not being acknownledged at all.

And speaking of "twisting intentions" we've said many times the filk fic is NOT a kink fic, nor the drawing was meant as anything romantic or literally "an adult marrying a child" but you'll just stay adamant with seeing them as being purposefully bad

I’ve received notice that there was a callout on me in the Stanley Parable Creator’s Club server and I would like to address it as I am a bit tired of people talking behind my back. I wasn't contacted by anyone from the server directly about the issue. 

The specific accusations were that I openly discussed a fic with NSFW themes to a minor, shared NSFW fic online without properly warning it for minors, and encouraged a self insert ship of one of my Narrator designs with a minor. 

These accusations are false, or blown entirely out of proportion. I have never intended to hurt people nor endanger minors and based on screenshots I've received, people have been spreading even more extreme misinformations, like me being a groomer. I want to tell the story with the mentioned earlier things, in hopes to clear up this matter and stop the harassment me and people received. 

1) Sharing NSFW Fic Online

I have been informed that I posted a link to my fic, "A broken promise", without a proper warning. 

I did put appropriate warning in the tags, however I did forget about archive warnings options and I misjudged that the T rating would suffice. I also had only mentioned the rape in tags and not in the ao3 warning. I will be more careful when publishing work in the future.

I've deleted the links on my posts and privated the work, as I do not want anyone else to get possibly harmed.

2) Filk

I was informed my never written fic was discussed in the discord as well with a completely incorrect premise and I would like to mention the idea to give people more insight into what it actually is supposed to be, despite the fact that it was never actually written. 

Filk (Fernator's milk) is based on a joke someone made from another fic of mine, "Bon appetit 1.5 - Chicken soup is served " where Stanley buys milk and pickles, and we called it pilk. Somebody made a joke that this is like a pregnancy craving and I decided that that would make a funny CRACK fic premise. Again, I never have written this fic, and the only place it ever existed was in a series of messages in a private discord.

The whole point of crack fics is that it has a stupid premise. In here, it was one of my Narrator's, Fernator, telling Stanley he would make him pregnant. I know that this sounds like the problem, but that was just a premise.

What really happens in the fic is that Fernator tells Stanley about human reproduction but after that, the majority of the fic is a sfw adventure on how viruses, bacteria, and plants reproduce. 

With bacteria, Stanley just gets copied, with viruses, Fernator creates a computer virus and it doesn't work so they move on, and with plant, the title filk comes in which is milk with fern spores in it. It ends up just in Stanley's foot. The end goal was for them to just get the cutout Baby as their child and then, the main fic that I talked about would end. After a while, they would realise they didn't really succeed and would try to make something, pouring filk onto Fernator and creating Pickle Rick.

The accusations of this being a non con confuse me as Stanley is happy to be brought onto this journey and there are no actual sexual activities involved in this not written project. 

3) Art with minor

One person was very supportive of one of my Narrators, Jester (they drew him a bit), and even started to call him their husband. Since they're my friend, I wanted to make them happy, so I drew something I deemed wholesome and platonic. They also took my drawing this way. 

In my eyes at the time, when I made the art, I never thought of this 'ship' as anything other than admiration for a design. 

However, that context got lost when they reposted my art on that server with my permission. 

I now see how people could think otherwise and I will be far more wary about this topic in the future.

However, while the announcement didn't use the exact word 'groomer', it highly implied it. I feel wronged for that as I received a lot of harassment in my direct messages. 

I would like a statement and an apology from the announcers because their words caused a lot of harm.

4) Conclusion

I want to finish this off with being honest about the mistakes I've made of not properly checking sfw spaces - which started all this - and talking about suggestive matters within them. The fanfiction link was certainly a slip up but I will be more careful in the future of what I post. 

However - I also want to say that it's not okay to harass people who got involved in this.

I myself have received false accusations already and seen my work be misinterpreted. I only learnt about this through buds giving me a notice and I do ask, if a similar situation would ever occur, which I don't plan on, to message me directly first about my mistake.

In the future, I will remember to double check where I discuss my fic ideas and I'll do everything in my power for this situation not to repeat. 

Thank you for reading.

[cryptidcircuslife]

Hi unofficial compilation of Getting Away From A Place tips

this is tailored to a specific situation so please do your own research for stuff more specific to you

running away tips subreddit

Short Term Preparation:

These are the things you can prepare now if you have to get out fast and unexpectedly

Do not tell anyone about your plan other than those directly involved in helping you.

Make a plan for your cash. You don't want to access an account your family can access or freeze. Slowly withdraw money and hide it if it's at risk of being taken. Withdrawing it all the day you leave will raise a red flag and have you on camera (atm or bank), if you even have time. As a legal adult, you may be able to get away with this because you aren't doing anything against the law. Just make sure to do it before your family finds out about you leaving. When you leave, if you don’t want to be traced- don’t use cards.

For hiding paper cash- you know your house and its occupants best. Determine what objects you have that won't be thrown away or tampered with by someone, and if they have a hollow space, store it. I used to use opaque pill bottles, hidden pockets or bindings in notebooks, the linings of old dvd or game cases, water bottles, gum cases, (all of these put in clothing or backpack pockets), opening the lining of coats and backpacks and hiding it inside of that, inside of hygeine products like the hollow part of a deodorant stick. Inside old electronics. in the stuffing of a plushie. Underneath the insoles of shoes you dont wear often.

Even if your money isn't at risk of being taken, store some of it separately anyway for emergencies.

I heard the bare minimum for running away with no destination or job is $1k. Judge for yourself your needs.

Get a backpack. Waterproof/resistant is better, but any is good. Don't pack it yet, so you don't arouse suspicion. But test out packing it to see if everything fits, and unpack it. Modify some hidden compartments so that when you travel, you will have places to hide your IDs and Cash- it's necessary so no one steals it. You want to travel light, regardless of your situation, because packing and carrying a ton of stuff takes time and you don't always have time on the day you leave.

Get a secondary bag. I learned the hard way that a backpack doesn't fit everything you'll need. Especially with amenities, food, clothing, personal possessions.... A duffel bag, one of those canvas grocery bags. A tote. Something to hold by hand.

Packing lists for running away are surprisingly similar to emergency evacuation pack lists.

Clothes to pack: 1 short sleeve shirt. 1 long sleeve shirt. 1 pair of pants. 7 sock pairs. 7 underwear pairs. 1 jacket. Some winter gear if you can, because nights will always be cold especially if you are stuck outside.

Hygeine to pack: deodorant. toothpaste. toothbrush. floss. baking soda if you’ll be on the road for a long time. Special products you may need- cream for a skin condition, sunscreen. I recommend a small essential oil bottle as a bug repellent, and some have antibacterial properties to help you/your clothes not smell musty af, and they're safe on the skin.

Must-haves to pack: you should have your social security card and another form of ID, like a state ID or drivers license. Pass port if you have one, and birth certificate or a copy if you can. Your cash. A map of your state/region.

Valuables to pack: bring a few things to keep you entertained that are small. A small book, or a notebook and pen. Try not for anything too heavy or bulky. Any survival gear you may own (sewing kits, first aid, multitools, matches, lighters).

If you will be staying outside, get a sleeping bag. Thermal blanket for cold temps.

Food to pack: bring healthy nonperishable food. Junk food won't do much for you on the move. Go for granola/protein bars, dried fruit, meat bars, jars of nut butters, canned food. A water bottle. Bring all medication you need.

Stuff to wear on you: go for baggy and multi-pocketed stuff. Don't wear your favorite clothing if you don't want to be identified, and make sure they blend well into the environment. Grey is the most unnoticeable color, then black, then neutrals. If identification isn't a problem, only wear and pack your favorite things. Wear comfortable and travel safe shirt and pants. Wear a hoodie or tie it around your waist so it doesnt take up bag space. A hat. Keep some cash in a hidden pocket if you can. Wear comfortable sneakers you can move around in for a long time and is good for the weather of where you live. Keep your self defense on you - knives, pepper spray, etc. (and learn the laws for those in your area)

Note: Storing some of these supplies around or in hiding places won't be too weird. Keeping the 'valuables' in the backpack won't be too strange to anyone either. Keeping everything nearby so you can quickly dump everything in the bags and go is a good idea. But Do Not Pack the clothes until the day you leave. clothes are a warning signal for leaving. And you cannot let them find out about your plans, especially if you are in a dangerous place.

Last note: know these are flexible to you. You can add or change stuff, as long as you have the most important things.

Long Term:

These are the things you can prepare for better

Save as much money as possible. You can secretly sell things.

Research more about what you may experience, be that attaining financial independence or how to train hop and live on the streets temporarily. Look at other people's tips for running away, or their experiences. Research moving out tips. Research specific to your area or where you will be headed. Libraries, shelters, charities, support organizations, 24-hour restaurants and locations. Research ticket prices, gas prices, etc. Apartment search. Be sure to remove those from your history. Cleaning it entirely may be suspicious if someone monitors that.

Build a budget and a food plan for how you will use your savings on the road.

As an adult, if you manage to get hired secretly for a job in your target location, you can apply for housing there, too. You will get set move-in dates and can give dates you can start working that work with your runaway schedule.

If you're running away as a minor, you can't stay with friends. However, as an adult you can. If someone is trying to find you, you'll have to be careful still.

If you need to leave fake trails because someone might search for you, there are some excellent resources by people trying to hide from domestic violence. The main tips are leaving fake trails in cities far away from wherever you will be- job applications you have no intention of following through on, apartment applications, phone calls, internet searches, purchases, etc. These can go more in-depth.

If you will be tracked, figure out how to get a burner phone. These are pretty cheap, and so are their service plans. You may want to consider this anyway to pay for your own service if your phone is taken off the existing one. Write down phone numbers you want to keep.

Make sure you have the proper amounts of medications you will need.

Be careful with this one, but figure out if you have any smaller hard-to-replace valuables that you want to bring to your new life but can't pack for your method of travel or might get stolen. Only do this if you have a place you are going to, and are going to get a job and housing there. Make a plan with a trusted friend to hold on to a few things you cannot carry in your bags and arrange for them to be mailed or picked up later. Only do this with one or two things that are easy to carry, because you will need to get it to them somehow, right? dont do this if you don't have the methods or the time before your runaway day. A good example is that I don't want to replace my laptop but I can't tow it through town and across state lines on a train. my friend can take care of it until I am settled.

Tie off any loose ends that you need to. This can be waiting for a responsibility to be gone, waiting for a last paycheck, or attending something you wanted to go to one last time.

Delete old accounts, and eventually deleting your emails and social media associated with your identity.

Note: The best thing you can do with time is make your supplies as efficient as possible, and plan. plan plan plan.

Schedule your leave date. or a range of leaving dates. But know sometimes it can be unpredictable. Make it a day when no one is home- especially if it's a dangerous situation.

On Runaway Day:

Hopefully you have a small window of time where you are alone.

Make sure you’re wearing all your runaway clothes you have prepared.

Pack your backpack and duffel bag quickly.

Leave a note, even if you don't want to. This is important, because you don't want a search for you because someone thought you were kidnapped or murdered. This way, officials can pretty much ignore it since it was voluntary.

Don’t look nervous or afraid while you are out, since that’ll draw unwanted attention.

If you made a plan for someone to pick you up, or to meet someone, make sure they are punctual. Don't meet right in front of your house if possible. Go a few streets away or somewhere less noticeable. Again, make sure whatever you bring is easy to carry so you move fast and no one tries to steal it.

If unfortunately you have to leave very quickly and haphazardly, leave anything not immediately important to survival behind.

Buy your burner phone with cash. Add your written numbers to the contacts. Create your new email and social media from there. If you're hiding, don't take pictures of yourself. Don't use your real name or information. Keep private accounts, and don't interact with anyone who will give you away.

If you have other travel plans, make your way there. Head to your safe places, your shelter, wherever you have planned. You are in your new life.

Once You Are Out:

Take care of your immediate needs. Find resources for food, water, and shelter.

Start accessing any support resources, regardless of what your situation is. In a town I lived in, there was an LGBTQ+ resource center that had entertainment/food/clothing/education clubs/showering/laundry/other amenities and programs for both lgbtq+ and homeless youth. I also took part in a gift drive for a specific minority that I qualified as, which gave me a lot of food.

Start working towards your future goals. Start job searching, and from there being able to secure housing. Start making friends. build a support structure. i hope it goes well

Rebuild your supplies and closet when you have the location security to do so.

[witch-apologist]

Glimmer and trauma:

I know I bring up Glimmers flaws and mistakes a lot (in order to combat people who pretend they don't exist *ahem*) but I want to make one thing clear: Glimmer is one of my favorite characters out of anything ever. The most well intentioned, carefully brought up, Brave and steadfast people, and she is /deeply flawed/ just like any other person.

With that out of the way Here is My Glimmer defense post, not to absolve her of her mistakes but to point out that like many characters (cough cough Catra) her flaws stem from her circumstances and the people around her.

This is gonna be a long post so

CW in depth talk about Abuse, Trauma, and manipulation.

Glimmer is such a complex and good character. From the beginning we can see that she is someone who deeply cares about the material conditions of her people, willing to go up against her resigned mother to stand up for her people. Glimmer is worried about the state of her people/the rebellion while her mother is worried about Her. Ever since the loss of King Micah it is heavily implied that Angella has been in some ways, over protective of Glimmer. This over protection (I have personal experience with such parenting) has protected Glimmer physically but has stunted her growth wrt maturity. We see someone who is (while age is not confirmed I would say the youngest she could possibly be at start is 16, either way based on concurrent maturing/aging i think she's likely the same age as Catra)

She has led a relatively sheltered life, her only Close in Age (and really, only) friend at the start is Bow. Bow is a very good friend and has a good head on his shoulders. But he's only one person. Much like Adora, He too cannot fulfill all of the emotional and social needs of his best friend, because he too, is just a person. She is surrounded by Older People who dismiss her ideas, and in some ways, baby her. She is somehow old enough to hold a leadership Military position, yet young enough that her consequence for insubordination is grounding. When she is given a job in the war its in a remote location and a position that is supposed to be safe while giving the (very fragile) illusion of her being old enough to make her own decisions. If one accepts this job as a metaphor for college then it quickly turns into that Angella is the type of parent to treat a college age kid almost the same as a high school aged one. It is not unheard of for young adults to get "grounded" by their parents (Especially in families/cultures where adults children still live with their parents after turning 18.) It's not my place to say whether this is a good approach to parenting or not, BUT it does mean that Glimmer is still very much reliant on the guidance of her Mom, whether she is still technically a minor or now is a young adult. This causes Glimmer to be emotionally stunted, especially when Her mother does not listen to her ideas and automatically shuts them down instead of giving her the space to air her thoughts even if Angella ultimately disagrees with them. This causes Glimmer to resort to doing things behind Angellas back. This is a prime example of the presence of the Horde not only causing deep psychological issues for HORDE children but for rebellion children as well.

This dynamic leads to a very unfortunate situation. The trio go to the Crimson Waste without Angellas knowledge. This trip results in Adoras capture and the Horde having She Ras sword which is what is needed to set off the Portal. Glimmer, desperate to save Adora and get the sword out of the Hordes grasp, Makes a deal with the Devil, or Rather, a very Manipulative and abusive woman. This is fueled by Angellas mistake to keep vital information from Glimmer in the name of protecting her. And by the time the truth comes out she is too focused on trying to get Glimmer back in line to explain exactly why Shadow Weaver is so dangerous. Now Shadow Weaver offers an enticing offer, not only a way to save Adora and the rest of Etheria, but also a way to connect with her (presumed) deceased father, and power needed to stand against the Horde. Glimmer is in a desperate situation with no support. And she takes the deal, this Deal allows them to get into the Fright Zone but, it also worsens Catras mental state. Catra has not only had her lifelong, completely unresolved and still ongoing, trauma triggered as well as once again experiencing abuse at the hands of Shadow Weaver. This pushes her once again down the path of darkness and is the nail in the coffin of the Portal being set off. But this post isn't about Catra so let's get back to Glimmer. To recap while Glimmers choice is essentially the only choice she could have made with her overprotective Mother, who will not risk anyone else's life to save Adora, actively shutting her down, and no other way to get where she needs to go, it actively contributes to the setting off of the Portal. This Portal is where Angella, as far as we know, meets her end.

This change leaves Glimmer without her mother, who she has been reliant on, and makes her a prime target for Shadow Weavers manipulation. She preys on Glimmers floundering without maternal guidance. She no longer has someone older and maternal to take guidance from OR be defiant of.

Now here's where things get really interesting. Whether she, or the people around her, or the audience, actually realize it, Glimmer feels /guilty/ she directly disobeyed her mother and as a result, lost her. To be clear its not Glimmers /fault/ that Angella got stuck in the Portal but she contributed to the domino effect and even if no one can put their finger on it that is eating Glimmer ALIVE. So she overcorrects. With the fact that refusing to listen to a Maternal figure led to such a devastating loss tugging at her mind, Shadow Weaver makes her move. Shadow Weaver knows exactly what to say to to get into Glimmers mind. She knows exactly what strings to pull to get Glimmer to start listening to her. And Glimmer now has a void she desperately needs to fill, and guilt stemming from her own rebelliousness. So now she's listening to a Maternal Figure who does not have her best interest at heart. And has a history of psychologically (and physically) abusing the younger people who follow her. Suddenly Glimmer is Shadow Weavers Golden Child.

Concurrently Adora becomes Shadow Weavers scapegoat. Which also lines up with HER guilt. Which stems from the fact that her blindly following the guidance and advice of her own Maternal Figures (Shadow Weaver and Light Hope) also contributing to the domino effect of Angellas death. As well as finding out Light Hope had been lying about the nature of her mission, once again she was fooled by a maternal figure who wanted to use her for destruction, and as a result lost the one honest Maternal figure she's had So now she's against listening to anything Shadow Weaver and Light Hope have to say. Which while a wise move, now puts her into direct opposition to Glimmer. Enough about Adora this post is about Glimmer but the Adora context is needed for this.

Now Glimmer is being pitted against her own friend by her friends childhood abuser, she's also shutting put her longest lasting friendship. Glimmer is now, because of Shadow Weavers manipulation, alone. She's desperate to fix things, desperate to beat the Horde, desperate to regain some semblance of control over her life, All of this while with the weight of the entire rebellion on her shoulders, and she's cracking under the pressure.

Now with Shadow Weaver stoking her Ego and pitting her against her support system, Glimmer now feels like she knows what's best for the entire rebellion and is refusing to listen to anyone but Shadow Weaver, which as we all know (Adora better than anyone) is a very very bad idea.

On top of all this, Glimmer doesn't know what to do with the guilt she feels, so she deflects. She blames it all on Adora because Adora is a very convenient scapegoat because she stands in direct opposition to the person who is making Glimmer feel important and listened to. This creates a further rift between her and Adora.

And all of it comes to a head with the reveal of the Heart of Etheria, a huge weapon that has been stealing the magic of Etheria and storing it in the center of the planet. Glimmer who has felt the immense loss of the Hordes colonization of her people realizes the war has been held back for AGES because ANOTHER group of colonizers stole power that rightfully belonged to her own people. And while Adora and Bow are focused on the fact that the weapon could destroy the entire planet, Glimmer is focused on the fact that her rightful power has been stripped and she has a war she needs to win. And because this entire season Shadow Weaver has been purposefully driving a wedge between Glimmer and everyone else, she cannot listen to reason.

Now because Bow and Adora must follow their conscience to go save Entrapta, and Glimmer will not back down, they are separated. Pushing Glimmer directly onto the path of going to set off the weapon herself.

Once the weapon starts to activate Glimmer realizes her mistake too late. She desperately tries to save the situation, hoping maybe she can destroy the Black Garnet and shut the weapon down, but she can't. It's Adora's decision to not be a tool for destruction and shatter the sword that gets it shut off.

Glimmer is now at rock bottom, where Catra also is, when they get kidnapped by Horde Prime. Now they are in space with the only other person on the world who can come close to understanding them. Ironically, these two people who have never felt anything more than animosity for each other, are exactly what each other needs to put them on the path to redemption.

Glimmer now comes back to the squad and at first she tries to have things go back the way they were, but quickly finds out thats not possible. And now with the hindsight she needs she knows how to address it, by letting Bow work through his feelings without her trying to force it, but not giving up entirely and being committed to being a better friend.

For all its flaws, SPOP really is a beautiful show.

[biot08]

FFXIV Character Sheet

with love given to @bluespiritfire (original here!)

Name: Zoissette Vauban / Zo

Age: High 30s

Pronouns: She/her

Birthdate: I forget, but it’s on her in-game paper doll

~~PLACE OF ORIGIN~~ Race: Ishgardian Wildwood Elezen Hometown/city: Ishgard Current residence/popular haunt: Work for the Maelstrom, so has barracks space in Limsa Lominsa. Works for Gage Acquisitions, so sometimes crashes on the couch at their HQ in the Goblet. Her parents still live in Ishgard, and so she can also couch-crash there

~~APPEARANCE~~ Eyes: Brown Hair: Black with purple highlights Hair type: Straight and thinnish Hair style: Short undercut Body type: Athletic, the wiry kind; muscles of steel cable Height: Tall Skin: Light brown Facial features: Nothing notable Body features: Shortish ears for an Elezen

Favourite/commonly used clothes: That beautiful skirt and jacket combo that Tataru made for her when she is being casual. The heavier dark jacket and sabatons that Tataru made when she has serious business knight work to do.

~~SKILLS~~ DoL/DoH Dabbles in the entire list of DoL/DoH skills for self-sustainability purposes, but has no real talent for any of it

~~COMBAT~~ Main discipline Gladiator/Paladin (she will never refer to herself as a Paladin; her training is that of an Ishgardian knight); her other main discipline is arcanist/scholar

Secondary/Tertiary/Extra Classes Red mage and machinist (in-game, she also has NIN, but that’s more because I like the class and less because it’s appropriate for the character)

Fighting style She shifts between hard-and fast and defensive/protective as a knight. She appears reckless to the inexperienced, but she very much knows what she is doing. As a scholar, she is tactical, and very wait-watch-and-see.

Any difficulties with magical/physical disciplines? Red mage is the only magical discipline she is extremely good at, because it relies heavily on her physicality (channeling with precise rapier work) and on her personal mana pool. She is awful at drawing in external aether. Her magics as a scholar also lean heavily on her ability to work with the summoned fairy construct to do the bulk of the aether work while she performs the necessary manipulations and calculations. As a result, she was merely a middling arcanist, but is a very good scholar.

~~PERSONALITY TRAITS~~ Analytical, cunning, curious. She can be impulsive, but it is not because she is not considering the consequences, but often because she is very interested in what they will actually be. She is very self-assured in general.

~~LIKES~~ Environment: A warm home with a warm fire. She does find Ul’dah’s dry environment endearing after the snowscapes of Coerthas post-calamity. She tolerates Limsa. Weather: Warm days Flavours: Nuts greens meats and fruits Textures: Cotton or wool Favourite Dish: Meat pot pies of any sort. They can be well made, and that’s great. Or the can be mediocre, but easily portable and reheatable on the front lines, and that’s also great. Favourite Colour: Purple Favourite Sound: The utter silence of the soundscape during a lull on the front of the dragonsong war provides her with strong mixed feelings that have turned nostalgic. The way snow dampens sound and makes for a particular kind of quiet night is eerie, but dragons tend to be very loud; as a result, the eerieness was overridden by the knowledge of a promise of a good night’s rest Favourite Smell: Hot meat pie straight out of the hearth Favourite Place: The little fort outpost she was ‘in charge’ of and responsible for for a great deal of her adult life. She can’t go back, but she has fond memories of the place Favourite Holiday: The new ones they’re inventing celebrating the  end of the dragonsong war and the beginning of a new promise of peace

~~DISLIKES~~ Environment: Snowy environs. She’s had enough of that for several lifetimes. Weather: Snoooooow Flavours: Gamey. You get a lot of gamey meat on the front. Textures: Weirdly, finds silk to be entirely too slippery Least Favourite Dish: Ishgardian knight hardtack. It’ll feed you, but you’ll regret it the entire time. Least Favourite Colour: White, though she has no strong opinion here Least Favourite Sound: Bells. Too many alarm bells in her life. Least Favourite Smell: No strong opinions here Least Favourite Place: Coerthas. Even though her most favourite place is there Least Favourite Holiday: Doesn’t really have one, though she ignores several; this is less dislike and more apathy

~~HOBBIES~~ Reads voraciously, both for research and as a hobby. Finds working out invigorating. Does not skip leg day. Never saw a mountain that didn’t need someone to at least attempt to scale it. Pretty fond of fucking around (and often finds out, which is also fun)

~~RELATIONSHIPS~~ Parents/Legal Guardian/Parental Figure: Mother and father. While no longer Ishgardian nobility, the Inquisition merely stripped them of house titles and colours, but did not excommunicate them. They live in the repaired parts of Ishgard now, as commoners Siblings: Second oldest of seven Children: Nope Romantic: Single, about to be complicated (for tax and guild fee purposes) Friends: Picks up acquaintances easily enough, thanks to an easy going personality and willingness to just generally roll with things. Has few truly close friends, though, due to having a tendency to keep a bit of a distance. Loyal for life once past that point, though. Rivals/Enemies: No rivals, but there are definitely people among the noble families of Ishgard who she would count as enemies. Not enough to truly go after or do anything about, but people who she is, at best, cold towards if she ever has to interact with them. She gets on well with Alphinaud, as the two complement each other, his diplomacy making up for her lack of it, and her foresight making up for his frequent naivete. She snarks with Y’shtola and the two often banter like old maids. She merely has a working relationship with Thancred, but it’s not cold; it’s just not a close friendship, either. Tataru finds her vexing. Estinien and her have a deeply shared understanding that comes from both being front line participants in the dragonsong war. Krile and her do not understand one another, and tend to settle for just being cordial. She finds Urianger likeable, and gently needles him at times, and doesn’t always realise when he’s doing it back.

Any special gestures of affection they have with people in their life? She will, without fail, ask Lennier if he’s been working out, and will swoon when he performs physical feats (squats, pushups, etcetera) nearby.

~~HAVE DEALT WITH/IS DEALING WITH~~ Definitely has some PTSD. Also, her entire family has gone from lesser nobility to commoners with a status that, until recently, left a bad mark on their name (their status as a minor house was lost when the inquisition found evidence that some members of the family, cousins in relation to Zoissette, were hertetics). She keenly feels the disruption of life in Ishgard due to the end of the dragonsong war, but does not quite know how or what to feel about it.

How are they dealing with the most prominent of the above? How does it affect their in day-to-day life, if at all? She sleeps lightly and poorly and generally pretends she doesn’t have a problem

~~ODDS AND ENDS~~ Notable Weapons Not really. Any sword is still a chunk of metal made with lethal intent

Notable Mounts An Ishgardian raised Chocobo, of course, for the most part. If she is travelling into danger, the Magitek armor, while defanged, is still a walking tank. If she has to fly somewhere, the manacutter from the Ironworks is just plain fun to fly

Notable Minion/s She has come to value Midgardsomr’s council and will travel with him as he is willing

Keepsakes/Mementos ... the Fortemps Shield.

Chronic Illnesses or Disabilities None

Education Level The same schooling most Ishgaridan noble family knights get to enjoy. She did a lot of self-study, because she found it interesting, but it was also part of a continuous bid to try to be accepted in the astrologian guild; however, due to House politics, she was never accepted. Fortunately, when she left home due to the situation after the inquisition investigation, the Limsa Lominsan arcanists were more than happy to take her on and guide her studies further. Generally her studies started with things she thought would be helpful for the war effort; history, strategy, logistics, and tactics. Since then she has dabbled in any of  dozen different subjects, learning few of them deeply, but being at least conversational in a great many of them

Habits I should probably come up with some!

[shyrose57]

Related Drabbles: This

Haven’t the young suffered enough? Have the people of this server not destroyed them plenty? He is the protector. Perhaps it is time he acts like it.

Or, DreamXD really just wants to let the kids of the server rest. He probably could have gone about it better.

Featuring lots of flower symbolism.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Through all the wars, bloodshed, and betrayal, one thing had always remained constant.

The minors stick together. 

You can hate each other, you can destroy each other, toss each other around, but when the adults start up another war, you make sure your aim slips a little when you’re fighting another kid.

When fire arcs in the sky, and the world shakes as sides are picked and hearts are broken, you don’t forget that your first loyalty is to the ones as young as you.

This is how it’s been ever since the first drop of blood was shed with cruel intent. This is how it’s been since the first two children were executed for simply being the messengers of a country seeking freedom.

It’s a promise forged in exhaustion and sorrow, but it has never faltered. The adults have failed them, and sometimes, they might do the same, but not when it counts.

Never when it counts.

So, as Purpled stood at the edge of Snowchester, taking in the sudden appearance of flowers that really had no business growing in the cold climate, and the strange shimmer to the air around him, he knew he had a choice to make. 

Did he enter, or did he turn away? Risk his own safety for a vague message? Or leave, possibly risking the health of his fellow minors?

He sighed, and stepped forward.

It was never really a choice in the first place, it wouldn’t do to delude himself. 

The change in atmosphere was almost instant, a wave of warm air rolling over him. The purple-loving boy narrowed his eyes, taking in the change of scenery. 

Very little snow lingered in the once winter-like town. In fact, there was almost none, being melted by the heat. Now, flowers and other greenery crawled all about, looking as though Persephone had decided to walk through, bringing spring forward with each step she took. 

This wasn’t normal. Even with an absurd amount of bone meal, Tubbo wouldn’t have been able to accomplish this much-it didn’t even make sense that he would. Purpled clearly remembered him talking about the charm of the snow, not even two weeks ago, a light to his eyes that he’d been relieved to see again.

His grip on his sword tightened momentarily, before relaxing.

If he wanted answers, he’d just have to go get them. And if the others were hurt...well, there were methods to make sure whoever had done so wouldn’t have much luck remembering who would cut them down. 

And hurting enough to not consider trying again for awhile.

He marched forward, brushing past the alliums that leaned into his path. 

“Tubbo? Tommy? You guys here?” He called out, fingers not straying from his blade. 

“Purpled! Over here!” 

Tubbo. He sounded alright. There was no pain in his voice, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything-they’d all gotten good at hiding their pain. Showing weakness was dangerous, after all. 

He turned towards the direction of the voice, following it to the center of Snowchester. 

Whatever he was expecting, it wasn’t this.

Sitting at a small table were the other three, all looking the slightest bit out of it. Both Tubbo and Tommy had a slightly sleepy droop to their eyes, as well as flowers in their hair. Ranboo was squished between them, looking ruffled and wary as he leaned away from a two toned carnation that seemed determined to wrap around his arm. He’d either yet to notice the ivy climbing his leg or he’d given up on getting it off. None of them looked harmed, though. 

Across from them was a tall man, clad in dark green. 

Purpled raised an eyebrow, sidestepping a lilac bush trying to latch onto his leg.

“What’s Dream doing here?” He asked, letting his hand wrap around his sword. It very clearly wasn’t Dream. If the wings and the lack of the mask weren’t enough, his posture told him everything he needed to know. 

Dream’s posture was confident. Bordering on arrogant, even. It was well-earned, but you could tell it had gotten to his head. He was self assured in his strength, but there was also always a touch of tenseness to it. The slight paranoia that he could be taken down. Equal confidence and fear made his muscles taunt, his back straight, his eyes unblinking.

(Power corrupts, as they say)

This man was confident too, but there was no tenseness to his posture. It wasn’t exactly relaxed, but it wasn’t worried either. It simply was. No concern or fear. Simply...existing. Plus, there was an aura about him, a feeling he couldn’t pinpoint.

No, this wasn’t Dream. He knew that. They knew that he knew that. 

But, hey. People don’t tend to like being mistaken for others-especially if they’re aware that that person isn’t well-liked. And he needs to know who this is before he makes any moves. 

The stranger looks at him, and for a brief moment, something like a smile is present on the blurry face.

“Greetings. I am DreamXD. I wish to speak with you.” 

Huh. Strange name for a strange person. Possibly fake, possibly real. It was hard to read the man.

Dropping into the small space left beside Tommy on the bench, Purpled didn’t blink when the taller boy sleepily leaned on his head, only crossing his arms and not taking his eyes of this XD.

“I’m listening.” 

Flower Symbolism:

Alliums: Good fortune, patience, humility.

Two Toned Carnation: Parting, I cannot be with you.

Ivy: Fidelity(not letting go of what it’s attached to easily), eternity, friendship, anxious to please.

Lilac: Growth, ignorance to knowledge, innocence to wisdom, confidence.

Basic Plot: After a bad first impression on Ranboo, the minors of the server sit down to explain things to XD. Purpled, wary but unwilling to risk the others’ lives, comes to Snowchester, and enters, taking note of the strange occurrences about. He meets the others at the center of Snowchester, and decides to hear XD out. There are hints of a stronger bond between the youth of the server than shown. 

Now XD has to persuade a young assassin that he can help, and has his best interests in mind-which won’t be easy, with how unintentionally off-putting he is, and his original impression on the other three. 

Wish him luck.

[foundthe8wing]

Okay, doing this over here because my main tumblr is usually a place for me to vibe and I don’t want all the bullshit tied to that account, but basically: I’m really angry and disappointed with the dndads cast for how they’ve put a lot of the minors in their fanbase in danger. Everything below is a repost from twitter (with permission from the OP, crypticjoy), and I’ll link the thread in a reblog. 

Under a cut because it’s long and potentially triggering (content warnings for grooming, sexualizing minors, and sexual assault)

[OP tagged the relevant cast accounts; I added slashes here bc I’m not sure if those same urls exist on tumblr and I don’t want to be randomly tagging people over here]

5:49 PM Sep 5, 2020

“I don’t usually do this, but: the way that the cast of @/dungeonsanddads engages with their audience is actively dangerous to minors, and they need to get it together. (cw for discussion of grooming, sexualizing minors, sexual assault)

First off, there are some iffy jokes and situations in the podcast itself. I’m not going to get into all of it right here, but have a google doc: [doc will also be linked in reblog]

Yes, the kids in #dndads are fictional, but that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t affect real kids listening. a. it normalizes talking/joking about kids in that way and b. There’s a lot of inconsistancy and confusion on the lines they draw--

Paeden saying “baby” is weird but Ron sitting in Terry Jr’s lap isn’t? I’m confused. You know who the fuck relies on that type of confusion and unclarity? Fucking predators

And I’m not saying every in-character decision has to be perfectly moral or acceptable, but the way the cast, out of character, discuss what’s weird and what’s not sends a lot of mixed messages. And that’s legitimately dangerous.

So then you take all of this, and you add a patron discord server that lets nsfw discussions run virtually unchecked--you create a fandom space that allows adults to discuss kinks, and porn searches, and just, all this other stuff, with teenagers...

... and it becomes a breeding ground for grooming and abuse.

The creators aren’t responsible for babysitting their fanbase or for how people engage with their content outside of their spaces (though, again, I’d urge them to be very careful about what kind of messages they’re sending)

But  they ARE responsible for taking basic steps to keep the spaces that THEY create and engage with safe.

“But the rules for the server say 18+!” The rules say you have to be 18 *or have parental permission.* They also say to keep things PG-13. That’s vastly different than establishing something as an adult-only/nsfw space.

“Minors shouldn’t be joining/listening anyway!” The cast can’t control who listens and neither can I, but there’s a difference between knowing teens are listening to you discuss sex with your adult friends vs facilitating conversations between teens and adults on those topics.

“If people are uncomfortable they can just leave.” First off, this situation isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s unSAFE. Second: fuck that. It’s not on minors to set and maintain boundaries about this stuff; a lot of them literally do not know how

Not because they’re stupid, but because they’re young and inexperienced. It’s the responsibility of adults to set and enforce healthy boundaries around sexual discussions, and this particular group of adults has done a fucking terrible job

(Maybe don’t encourage listeners to DM you about kinks! Maybe especially don’t do that when you’ve communicated, intentionally or not, that making and escalating sexual jokes is a really good way to get a reaction from you guys)

I get that they didn’t expect to have so many young listeners, but to be aware of that fact and make no adjustments whatsoever is irresponsible and it WILL lead to someone getting hurt. Does their “young, thirsty, female” audience only exist to them when they can laugh about it?

And let’s be absolutely 1000% clear: this isn’t an issue they’re unaware of. The stuff I’m talking about is an ongoing problem with how their server is run, but it came to a head with one specific situation very recently:

They released a bonus, patron-exclusive episode about the dads taking the bdsm test. Given the general state of the server, I was worried about where those discussions might lead, so before it dropped, I reached out to @/anthony_burch to express my concern

He told me he raised the issue with @/fwong and Ashley, meaning at least three members of the dndads team were aware of the situation, and decided it didn’t warrant any type of preemptive action on their part

(alternatively, it means Anthony lied, which would be a whole separate issue)

[Image ID: a discord DM conversation from Sep 1, 2020, between a crossed out username and reverendanthony. It reads: 

OP: heyyyyy have you guys considered that releasing an episode focused on the bdsm test is almost inevitably going to lead to a bunch of 15 year olds sharing their results in your server because you might want to get ahead of that before someone gets hurt

reverendanthony: oh holy shit, really good idea

OP: thanks, I know it's easy to veer into that territory just because of the nature of your show but I wanted to bring it to your attention because I figured you don't want to create a situation that's like, actively dangerous (and for the record I'm willing to discuss what I think would make it safer but I'm also not going to assume you want/need my input, obviously you can handle it however you see fit)

reverendanthony: No, thank you for bring it up, I really appreciate it -- I just raised the issue with Freddie and Ashley

OP: Good to know, thank you /End ID]

I’m not overreacting. I have seen this shit happen, to my friends and to myself, and watching the dndads cast take absolutely no meaningful action to prevent situations like that from occurring directly under their noses makes me fucking livid

I can guarantee that the #dungeonsanddaddies fanbase includes both predators and survivors of abuse, grooming, etc (including those currently living through it), and I need them to think very, very hard about which group they’re prioritizing.

And I need that choice to be evident through more than just their words, because it doesn’t fucking matter how much you “really appreciate” that I brought up my concerns if you do fuck-all to address them.

It doesn’t matter how many times you say the word “consent” if apparently everyone was okay that “Darryl gets sexually assaulted” was almost a plot point played for laughs.

(His dare from Scam  would have been rape, straight up. Just because no one said the word doesn’t mean it wasn’t coercive and gross).

I’d like to think the @/dungeonsanddads cast isn’t intentionally encouraging abuse, but they’re sure as hell enabling it, and they needed to get their shit together ages ago, because they’re not the ones their negligence hurts.”

Quote retweet by OP 6:51 PM Sep 7, 2020

“So, they updated the rules for the patron server, but I want to be really clear that from my perspective, it’s way too little, way too late. 

The new rules don’t adequately address the core issues and they certainly don’t absolve the cast of the harm they’ve already caused. 

[Tweet includes 2 screenshots: one of a bot asking people to click thumbs up to confirm they’re 18+ (or have a parent’s permission) and agree to the rules, and one that includes two of the rules. It reads: 

“This is an 18+ space. Them’s the rules: per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Use language as if you’re at your parents dinner table. Don’t get people in trouble because of your SPICY POSTS. Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!”]

(and before anyone says I should bring up my concerns privately, a quick refresher on how well that went last time I did it:) 

[links back to the “(alternatively, it means Anthony lied . . .)” tweet from the original thread]

So hey, @/fwong, some thoughts:

1.The rules are vague and unclear: what /exactly/ do you mean when you say “NSFW content is not allowed!” when the content of your show itself is so often nsfw? And how are you planning to enforce this?

Does it mean you’ll shut down the MBIC conversation that is literally just kink discussion? I need you to be clear on where the line is, because, again, predators rely on that confusion. Don’t give them a gray area to play in. 

For an example of a more clear policy, it’s pretty easy to say, “yep, ‘Henry gets pegged’ sure is a sentence we said on our show and you don’t have to pretend it’s not, but if you’d like to discuss it in any more detail at all, you need to move”

2. Remember how I said I needed to be clear on whether you’re prioritizing survivors or predators? While I doubt it was intentional, the language you’re using here is prioritizing predators.

It’s not “don’t get people in trouble,” it’s “don’t make people uncomfortable.” It’s “we all have a responsibility to make sure this space is safe for everyone, especially the younger members of the community.”

You’re setting people up to be afraid of expressing concerns for fear of “getting people in trouble” or “inciting unnecessary drama.” Even if it’s not what YOU meant, it’s very easy for those words to be manipulated, so +

You absolutely have to be explicitly clear that if someone expresses their discomfort, you’ve got their back. Being safe is more important than being polite. 

3. I need every cast member to take responsibility for their own actions. I’ve gotten no indication from any of you that you understand the ways in which the in-show things I brought up were harmful.

Acknowledging that harm is important not just because of the immediate effects of that content, but also because it implicitly sets an example for how similar complaints should be dealt with going forward.

When someone says “hey, I was uncomfortable that you seem fine with the Glennary ship, because she reads as very young to me,” I don’t need a dissertation on how the perception of characters can evolve due to your improvisational nature

I need to hear “oh, I interpreted her differently, but you’re right, we should have been more clear, and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Because your responses to your own mistakes set the tone for any other situations like that going forward.

How comfortable is someone going to be with coming to you, or Ash, or any of the mods about someone making them uncomfortable if they’ve seen that when people call YOU out, they’re argued with and shut down?

Don’t tell people you’ve “made it clear that you won’t go there” when they tell you that you ARE there. Listen to them and do better. 

Set the expectation that people will be respected when they raise their concerns. “If you want to come at me you have to bring the heat” is not an appropriate response on a subject that made people genuinely uncomfortable. 

In essence: set people up to be supported and protected, not dismissed. 

[It’s like a matriosche of tweets over here. This one links to another thread, also by crypticjoy. That thread reads:

A non-comprehensive guide to keeping discord servers safe for minors:

1. Make designated channels for nsfw/18+ discussion. Generally speaking, this is a lot more effective than banning those discussions altogether, because it’s a lot easier to say “hey, can you move this conversation?” than “hey, I need you to stop”

In fandom spaces, it’s usually a good idea to have separate channels for talking about nsfw fiction vs discussing your personal sex lives.

2. Give everyone minor/adult roles; make sure your 18+ channels are locked to people who don’t have an adult role. It’s important that there’s more of a barrier there than just checking a box.

3. NSFW channels shouldn’t necessarily be a free-for-all; be aware of people’s boundaries and respect them (for example, r*pe jokes aren’t funny or okay, even if you’re not making them around kids)

4. Explicitly state in your rules that people should feel free to come to mods if anyone is making them uncomfortable. Actually listen to people and resolve the situation if they do approach you.

5. Make it clear that creepy behavior via DMs or other means is also not tolerated--you can’t control what people do outside your server, but you can make the choice to not allow people like that in your space

6. Make sure mods are on top of things BEFORE people have to say anything; sometimes being a mod means being willing to be the “asshole” who shuts things down before they get out of hand, even if they’re not asked.

Be generally aware of signals that people are uncomfortable or that things are escalating too far, and address those situations sooner rather than later.

*It should be noted that safety involves a lot of components beyond just containing nsfw discussions; this thread just happens to be focused on that one specific element.

oh also! It's a good idea to provide resources on grooming so people know what to look out for [links to some resources; again, this’ll be in the reblog]]

So, @/dungeonsanddads, if you’re interested in anything beyond just having a flimsy excuse you can point to to cover your own ass, I’m gonna need you to try again.

Sorry I can’t be nicer about it, but I’ve given so many benefits of the doubt I could be running a successful charity, and this isn’t an issue I’m willing to drop. 

10:02 PM

Thought I was done but actually I've got a few more questions: to what extent were @/HeyBethMay, @/WillBCampos, and @/mattLarnold included in conversations about this issue/the new rules? Is this something your whole team is involved in?

Have you discussed what you're doing on a team and individual basis to keep your fan interactions safe, and are you on the same page about how much it matters? Are you holding each other accountable? Is everyone okay with where this ended up?”

[eloisevisualculture]

the hypersexualisation of young girls in the media

The abuse and use of children for an adult’s personal gain is an issue that has always existed, regardless of the existence of the internet and the media. But the propagation of this platform (social media, entertainment or fashion magazines) has lead to a whole new sets of problems like the hyper-sexualisation of children, particularly young girls. The dictionary Larousse defines “hyper-sexualisation as “in society, the fact of giving an increasingly important place to sexuality, by multiplying references to it in the public space (media, advertising)”. In some cases this has been so normalised that criticism of these portrayals can be described as purist and excessive. What is the consequence of hyper-sexualisation of children in social media? The purpose of this essay will be to discuss the way the different ways children are sexualised in media and advertising and the effects it can have on their lives. It is not uncommon to hear the phrase “they grow up to fast nowadays” when referring to the youngest generations, as a result of their exposure to the media. Of course if the only thing young girls had to fear from acting like ‘grownups” was wearing makeup earlier in life, then there would be less cause for concern. Unfortunately, the dangers always revolves back to struggle of the ill- intentioned praying on the weak and easily influenced, and the continued danger of a patriarchal mentality passed down through generations. In the highly publicised fashion industry for instance, that holds a great influence on our society, there have been many instances of very young girls chosen as models, and put into adult life contexts. A notorious example is the 2011 edition of Vogue Paris, who published photographs of Thylane Lourby-blondeau, a 10 year old model who was pictures, in revealing clothes, makeup and jewellery, lying on a bed and looking at the camera with a sultry air.

It sparked a controversy and brought up the issue of the hyper-sexualisation children. Many people and parents stated that it was inappropriate and dangerous to picture a young child in an undeniably sensual light, and that directing a shoot to appeal to post-pubescent men, while the child was too young to understand the implications.  Thylane Loubry-Blondeau, on the cover of Vogue Paris, 2011, January edition Others defended it simply as ‘art’, the portrayal of a girl playing dress up, which ultimately does little to justify morals. Art was also the excuse Irina UNESCO gave after photographing and publishing albums of her daughter in sexual, pornographic scene, also nude, from the age of 4 to 11. In an interview with the purple magazine, Ionesco reflects on how her mother used her for years for her own personal gain and career, her works being widely known because they were so scandalous; “She would put make-up on me when I was a child. I slept very little, didn’t go to school. She took erotic photographs of me and made me act in erotic films, of which I was the subject. It wasn’t just about the photos — her entire approach was abusive. Sometimes she would send me to other photographers. She’d say: “You’re going to see such and such a photographer. It’s not great, but you’re going anyway.” It was becoming very dangerous.”(Ionesco). One of the disturbing things about the work Irina published about her daughter is that it is still available to purchase today, and even praised for it’s artistic value.

Eva Ionesco in her adult years has described in detail the “loss of childhood” and the life long effects she had to deal with from being sexualised and abused from such a young age “You were thrown into a world of adults, of nightlife, sex, and art very young — from the age of 12 or 13. And in one of the most liberal periods we’ve seen so far in terms of morals.” She went on to write a film inspired by her childhood and relationship with her mother. As with everything, it is important to avoid blind censure, and condemn anything without a deeper understanding. It is very easy to doggedly pursue a cause and become set in our opinions, and not allow freedom of expression to well meaning individuals, if their children are understanding and willing participants. The artist Sally Man was criticised for publishing nude pictures of her children. They were done as a celebration and a chronicle of her children’s evolution, childhood and slow progression to adulthood, and were done with the children’s understanding and consent, as was made clear in an article in the New York Times “The collaboration of the children in their mother’s work is apparent to anyone who spends time in their company. They are impish, argumentative participants, not robots. (When a photographer asked them what kind of portrait of their mother should accompany this article, they shouted, “Shoot her naked, shoot her naked.” She did.)”(2015).

Sally Mann put the safety and wellbeing of her children above personal gain, choosing to publish her photo album ‘Immediate Family”, when the children would fully be aware of their choice. “I thought the book could wait 10 years, when the kids won’t be living in the same bodies. They’ll have matured and they’ll understand the implications of the pictures. I unilaterally decided.” (2015). One of the effects of the explosion of social media, and their ease of access, is that young children know have the ability to not only watch content that might not be suitable for age but to create content themselves. On Tiktok for instance, there is a lot of content based on visual, and sensual appeal, like women doing suggestive dances in revealing clothing. Women who are old enough have the experience and sense to be fully aware, and take distance themselves from the comments, they are doing it for their own enjoyment. Young girls watch these videos and see the adulation and attention these influencers get, and want to try it out for themselves. Dr Elaine Kasket explains this system on TikTok is artificially amplifying a natural phenomenon. Unfortunately, the same ease of access that allowed the children to post these videos also means that the people who want to abuse them can see them too. Not only do they write inappropriate sexual comment in the comments, or encourage more extreme behaviour for their own benefit, they also get in touch with the minors, and message them privately. Dr Kasket explanation is well illustrated by the 2020 film Cuties shows the traumas and effects of young girls lives governed by social media. This film portrays the journey of a young eleven year old Amy, as she joins a self organised preeteen dance group and is confronted with a whole new world of social media, pressures to be sexual and grown up.

"Teenagers are naturally interested in taking risks and they’re naturally interested in finding out about sex and The sexualisation of young girls is an issue which can be confused, but is also linked to their natural desire to imitate their mother, or older siblings. Every single child has tried at some point to act like their parents. But with the rise and ease of access of social media (instagram, TikTok), children have access to whole new world, and many try to imitate what they see on these platforms. discovering themselves as sexual beings and exploring that. "They are open to flattery, they are open to seduction, they are open to the verification they get from the hearts they get and the likes they get”. (2020, The Sun)Unfortunately, the same ease of access that allowed the children to post these videos also means that the people who want to abuse them can see them too. Not only do they write inappropriate sexual comment in the comments, or encourage more extreme behaviour for their own benefit, they also get in touch with the minors, and message them privately. Dr Kasket explanation is well illustrated by the 2020 film Cuties shows the traumas and effects of young girls lives governed by social media. This film portrays the journey of a young eleven year old Amy, as she joins a self organised preeteen dance group and is confronted with a whole new world of social media, pressures to be sexual and grown up. Through their imitation of sexualised adult women on the media, young girls inherit patriarchal and misogynistic ideals that superficial beauty determines their worth.The child beauty pageants are intensely popular in America, and raise a lot of money for charity. They parade toddler and young children in false nails, high heels, heavy makeup and heavy wigs, and are trained like performing animals to smile, pose and wave at the camera. 

Naturally, many people argue that the simple fact of wearing makeup does not affect the girls in the slightest, and while that is true on the surface levels, there is much more than meets the eye. By dressing them up in all these gowns, and covering them in makeup and accessories to make them look “prettier”, the young girls are being taught that their natural appearance is not enough, and  moreover that they need all these additional to get praise and win in life. 

These little girls might enjoy looking “ like a princess”, but they are also adopting restrictive and superficial beauty ideals, and learning the all importance of appearance. Naturally, it is important to avoid completely vilifying pageants, they are not always the traumatic experience described by anti pageants or even shown behind the scenes pageants show. In her article for The Cut Goode collects the testimonies of other pageant stars and they are a mixed bag. Some describe that they have fond memories of competing, as ' bonding experience with their mother. An other used the platform to raise awareness about suicide, after her mother took her own life when she was 10 years old.But most often pageant are for the parents gain, and while women and mothers are often the ones organising them, they are, unknowingly or not transmitting the pressures of performative femininity to their daughters. Perpetuating a patriarchal and misogynist mindset in which Women must prioritise their appearance above all else, as the only thing giving them value. 

And this cult of appearance and the emphasis on changing your appearance too fit the standards is the reason why eating disorders are so common in young girls and women. It could be argued that this is not the same as sexualisation of young girls, but beauty ideals and sexualisation are often intrinsically linked, especially if children are trying to abide to rules set by adults.  While this essay has been essentially focussed on young girls, because they are the most targeted and at risk, the sexualisation and perpetuation of beauty ideals gives a toxic example to a future generation of men. Young boys are taught from a young age that pretty girls must look a certain way.

Conclusion:The sexualisation of children is a topic that is heavily discussed, by those against it and those who deny it’s existence or effects. The fact remains that sexualisation along ever occurs for an adult’s personal gain, or benefit.Little girls want to be pretty and attractive, but it is rarely for themselves.Admiring and wanting to be an adult is the most natural thing in the world, it is just tragic that they incorporate toxic ideals of femininity and beauty at the same time.

Bibliography

COTTAIS, C. LOUVET, M. (2021). The dangers of the hypersexualisation of young girls: a stolen childhood​. ​growthinktank.org.​ ​[online]​ Jan. 2021​. at https://www.growthinktank.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/The-dangers-of-the-hypersexualisation-of-young-girls_-a-stolen-childhood.pdf(Accessed 8 apr 2021)

Woodward, R. B. (2015) ‘The disturbing photography of Sally Mann’. The New York Times. At:https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/19/magazine/the-disturbing-photography-of-sally-mann.html(Accessed 5 apr 2021)

Cuties (2020) Directed by M. Doucouré. Available at: Netflix (accessed 20 April 2018)

Ionesco, E.(unknown date) ‘Eva ionesco’. Interview with Eva Ionesco. Interviewed by O. Sham for The Purple Magazine, Paris issue num 32At: https://purple.fr/magazine/paris-issue-31/eva-ionesco/ (Accessed 9 Apr 2021)

Good, L. (2012) ‘I was a child pageant star: Six Adult Women Look Back’. The Cut. (November). At: https://www.thecut.com/2012/11/child-pageant-star.html (accessed 18 April 2021)

Hall. D. ‘How ‘supercharged catnip” Tiktok is fuelling the sexualisation of young girls an exploitation of teens.’ The Sun online. At: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10941512/tiktok-catnip-sexualisation-teens/ (Accessed 18 April 2021). 

[moonstone27ls]

Ducktales finale spoilers

You’ve been warneddddddddd

Warning

Warning you againnnn

Sooo Ducktales will be ending soon my thoughts? Not as sad as when compared to Rise of the TMNT, Venture Bros, Brooklyn 99 (though it had a good run considering), Drunk History, Dark Crystal Age of Resistance. Though there are rumors Darkwing Duck is gonna be rebooted.... uhh maybe excited? I'd say maybe becauseeeee again its on a streaming service... and no for anyone's future question don't have Disney+ and have no intention of getting it why? Cause I'm broke/on a budget and I can't buy every stupid streaming service for the sake of a few shows.

But I'm getting off topic the show in general... sorta sad but sorta not. I'll be honest some eps of Ducktales in the last season didn't fit well with me. Some felt uhh very cliche/or readable, some felt kid dumb (but its a kids show so you're gonna get a few of those more than once), some felt like they were uhh if I had to compare like when you'd watch Adventure Time and you'd be "WTF was that one for". I wouldn't say dark you're just "that one felt random". Sometimes thats not bad but heh depends on the taste.

There are a few things disappointed we didn't get to see one Donald & Della's ACTUAL parents interacting with their children, GRANDCHILDREN. Don't get me wrong their interactions with Scrooge was nice but we barely got one ep with family that WASN'T him. You'd think given what dangerous work they were involved with we'd see a flashback or actual talk of their parents talking to them. Especially with Della being a single mother oO. Kinda feel it slightly unrealistic that they'd just sit and do nothing (and no there's no sign they're dead so they should be around) when their daughter disappeared into space. I mean maybe it'd been nice to see a few eps of past Donald getting advice from his mother Hortense how to raise the triplets. Heck would have like to see Hortense & Matilda's relationship.

Second the triplets father would had been nice oO. Yes he does have a father. All these fan ships but no one actually wondering "hey who's the boys father?".

  Third would had been nice to see more of Violet's family life. I mean whats the point of giving her "dads" if they never have a role beyond background character. Heck would had been nice to see a day of Violet and Lena's life with their fathers. Yes probably to the viewers it probably would had been boring but whatever 8B.

Four uhh I dunno explore space more? Maybe actually see some of Moon's home. I'll be honest that episode of "Moonlander on Earth" ep always bugged me. While I could believe some of the moon aliens wanted to stay on earth. I'm not convinced an entire planet thought Earth was so amazing they'd just stay there forever. People are fickle things, I can believe some wanted to stay like a vacation. But I feel at some point some, like Penny wanted to just go home. And I always found it... disturbing that no one attempted to really listen (no I don't count Webby cause that was written more of an experience lesson than "oh I miss home"). I mean the McDucks have all the money in the world, thats how Scrooge spent almost all his fortune finding Della. I'm just not convinced Scrooge and them thought "Hey we got extra rockets if they wanna go home we'll let them". No it was "oh they'll never get home, lets not bothering asking or giving them those extra resources. I think the show MISSED a good opportunity to let Penny go home (as well as others). And since Fenton or Gyro are often considered so smart they couldn't make a special teleport device JUST for them or ways to keep communicating with the moon. Thus meaning they could have explored space. And while some might argue "yes we needed Penny for the finale" (minor spoiler). She didn't DO anything she and Goldie were mostly used for cameo purposes. Sooo wasted use there.

Hmm anything else....  would have LIKED to seen more eps with Gandra/Fenton but hey if that Darkwing Duck spinoff is a thing maybeeee Gizmoduck will make special appearances and Gandra/Fenton can double date with Morgana & Drake(yes I wanted her to make an appearance I liked her goth look). Uhhh I don't think we ever got a Selene & Della interaction. (So far no eps were really... well friendship stuff. I mean I got a small fraction (if that) with Gods on the Block ep but it was near the literal END)

Also wish we could had more from the old show cameos Kit/Molly, Rescue Rangers, Goofy... pft plus I'll be honest before the show ended would had loved an actual cameo of Goofy, Mickey & Donald just alll together. Pfttt omg I would had loved a Max & Roxanne cameo date/wedding (yes I shipped them).  Haha more interactions would had been fun. And while I enjoyed the Talespin sorta crossover... could had more (and yes sorta ship Kit/Della. heh sorta more of a crackship haha). And lets be honest that Molly cameo was wasted potential. I mean would had been cool to see Baloo & Becky. Though I understand to a degree why we didn't. At least with Baloo.  But ahh well what can you do.

  And same with Daisy and Donald buttttt gonna take some of the finale as something. I'm just gonna say it left enough for my imagination to think "they're having a happily ever after soon". Uhh another minor spoiler with Ludwig revealed not to be dead (which I'm glad)... just disappointed he wasn't in the credits or given more interactions with Scrooge. Yeah I know they weren't BEST friends or anything but I dunno I do associate them as friends.

Anything else... uhhh would had been nice to see more of Boyd and Doofus family moments too. I mean I dunno consideringgggg that life probably was better for Doofus' parents now that they had an ACTUAL loving child. Be nice to have seen more scenes. I mean heck that last ep with Doofus... uhh jumping? I assume it meant Doofus had closure and accepted his fate? So I dunno would had been good to see him and Boyd bond more. Heck I'd like to have seen his parents' telling Gyro in finale (yes minor spoiler) take care of "our" son.

Nowww onto the finale gonna put spoilers soo warning here.... as for the finale it was... good. I'm not gonna say "Oh it was the best everrrrrrrr". Nah it was pretty good given their budget or whatever. Yeah some felt rushed and all those cameos while I appreciate the thought felt wasted potential. I mean I get why budget/timing etc. Just saying you know could had some Goldie/Scrooge moments, more Lena & Violet, Webby friendship stuff. I mean heck when they were all "released" (and judging by that cube system) there was a lot we don't really see where they go or how the Ducktales group got everyone where they originally belonged.

What did I think of Webby's so called surprise... uhh mixed. Bigger picture wise kinda explained that need to be so clingy. To a degree I sorta agree with the split fans I like it and I don't like it. But I get it the writers NEEDED something for shock value cause lets face it they ran everything else. I say a part of me didn't like it cause I was kinda hoping this version would show us Webby's real parents. And I'm not fully convinced that photo was just a fake or some random relatives Beakley took to shut her up. 

I think she sounded genuine when she said "I missed a lot". I admit when the whole "oh she's made from FOWL" was becoming obvious. I thought Beakley was subtly hinting that her daughter made Webby. I dunno could see that happening seeing that this whole ep was hinting at adults who did NOT think of their actions effects (yeap Scrooge, Della's choice to go on that rocket, Bradford's granny traumatizing the dummy), I thought "Ohh sooo she felt neglect and rebelled or fell for the enemy". But anyways yeah I still think Beakley probably DID have a daughter. Where is she? I dunno, thats kinda the whole point. Either she died or like Donald did with Scrooge, broke away from her family. I really believe whatever the reason, her daughter's gone from her life and Beakley deeply regrets she wasn't a more attentive mother. She probably to a degree saw Webby as her second chance to do better by her.

Hmmm lets see anything else.... as dark as it was with what Bradford did... not really shocked. And while he was obviously a villain I think his background did prove a point. But I could be thinking of Dean Venture and Dr Venture's childhood. Not every kid is built or for that matter wants an adventure life. Bradford was a product of his well intentional but neglectful family. Had the triplets or Donald not wanted this life that could had been them. Thankfully it wasn't 8B.

I admit the part with the villians at the end was quiet surprising. Not because they turned him into a bird pft. But because technically they saved Scrooge but heh I get it, chalk it up to either "they don't like to be used" or "Bradford was so terrible he was beneath even their level". Just somewhat made me wish Magica could have found Poe or something (I liked his design and voice actor). 

 And super glad we didn't really lose a lot of villains. I dunno I wanted Phantom Blot & Pepper to escape, fight another day stuff. And I kinda think to a degree thats why we saw that dumbed-down clone of Bradford. He's gone but that clone could get "smarted" up to stir more trouble 8B. Maybe I dunno.

Heh but all in all I enjoyed this finale. Its was wayyyy better than Star and Tangled's finale, no flippin' drama :P. I mean I suppose you could call Donald & Daisy leaving drama? but no not really cause literally none of this bothered me. The credits kinda gave me that nostalgia of how this show got so much attention. So while it was rushed maybe and it had its flaws. All in all it kept up with the heart. Soo I enjoyed the credits a lot good way to say goodbye

(just putting that gif there cause I liked it 8B)

Anything else....KEITH FREAKING DAVID, another reason to give this finale a point best flipping part I’m just sad I have no gif to use XD

[no-whump-on-main]

My Experiences and Safety Concerns on the Whumper Gathering and Niji  Discord Servers

      A content warning for this post: I am discussing a real case involving sexualization of a minor and predatory behavior by an adult. Please proceed with caution if you are sensitive to these issues. I remain as vague as I can be throughout the post while still accurately describing what happened and capturing the gravity of the situation.

     I want to start this out by saying I hate cancel culture. I hate it, I hate witch hunts, I hate call out posts, I hate bitching about people on the internet for no good reason.

     But I draw the line when there is a reason. I draw the line where other people, especially minors, are legitimately at risk.

     There have been many posts on the topic of the Whumper Gathering server. Two that explain the situation well are this one and this one. I won’t pick the server itself apart piece by piece here, as I only intend on sharing my own experience there and why I am so concerned for everyone still in the server, and for those who interact with its’ owner, Yume.

     I first joined the Whumper Gathering server in November of 2019. Back then, it was a welcoming place, serving as a hub of roleplay and character discussion. There were a few bumps along the road, but they were routine server issues that Yume handled delicately. Everything was fine. I made close friends there.

     The issues involving me began around the end of January. Yume approached me on the 31st asking if I’d like to be a moderator of the server. I accepted quickly, overjoyed to be a bigger part of the community that I loved so much.

     Unfortunately, that conversation was when everything started to go downhill. The first instance where I felt incredibly unnerved by Yume’s behavior toward me was when she asked this incredibly off-handed question right after I agreed to be a moderator:

     I am a minor. At the time that this conversation occurred, I was thirteen. Yume was completely aware of this, she knew it from my introduction in the server, yet she still somehow considered it appropriate to ask me a question with romantic implications.

     I was extremely confused and taken aback in the moment. I just laughed it off because I didn’t know what else to do.

     Yume’s conduct toward me did not stop or change after that. If anything, it worsened. After I made one joke in the server implying that I wanted to go to college to be a trophy wife, she gripped onto the name for months, and called me HER trophy wife hundreds of times despite the original joke having nothing to do with her. I was too afraid to call her out on how inappropriate it was for her to talk to me like that when she was an adult and I was, by every definition, a child. I tried to drop hints that I was uncomfortable, and while it isn’t her fault for not being able to read between my lines, even when I did finally gain the courage to flat out say I was uncomfortable, she completely brushed me off. A few examples of this behavior are below, the last being her excusing her behavior after I finally told her I didn’t want to be called her trophy wife. *Please note that the names and profile pictures of others involved in the conversations have been crossed out, because they did not consent to being involved with this post in any way, and did not do anything wrong.

    These are just a FEW examples. Again, I don’t want this to be a witch hunt, so I am only providing necessary examples and not leaving unnecessary screenshots to gawk at. Also, there is a 10 image limit per post and I’m trying to fit everything.

     More rather disturbing screenshots that go further than the “trophy wife” deal:

     The first: Completely unpromtedly implying/saying that she wanted to cuddle with me, at the time a 13 year old. I just wanted to talk about bringing my blanket to school.

     The second: Calling me the “titty police” and going on to talk about me in relation to breasts further. 

     This is just what happened in public chats.

     One of the scariest instances of her conduct toward me happened in a moderator chat. I do not have any screenshot evidence for this, because Yume deleted the entire moderator chat after people began to call her out for her behaviors, but I do have the word of the other former moderators who witnessed this happen.

     Soon after I was appointed as a moderator, we had a situation with a user making inappropriate sexual comments/requests in our roleplay channels. This person by all means could’ve been considered a predator. Yume quickly decided that this person needed to be addressed. There were 3 adult moderators at the time, as well as myself and another minor moderator. We all banded together to figure out a message to send to this person as an immediate warning to stop their behaviors.

     Everything went well until it came to who had to send the message. By now, only Yume and Kekune, Yume’s best friend, were online, along with myself. Yume immediately said that her anxiety was too bad to send it, and said it wasn’t a possibility. Kekune also counted herself out on the grounds of simply not wanting to. That left me, a minor, to go privately DM an adult who was breaking rules in an NSFW manner. I was clearly uncomfortable with the situation, but was pressured into it by both Yume and Kekune and guilted about Yume’s anxiety until I gave in.

     Later into my time as a staff member, when I was a promoted to a co-admin, Yume refused to turn off the “administrator” permission for my role. This meant that I could see all of the server’s NSFW channels. I immediately muted and collapsed them, and told her that I was uncomfortable even being able to view them, but she refused to change the permission for weeks because she preferred to just click administrator and it was anxiety inducing for her to do the permissions individually.

     Yume has also engaged in multiple explicit NSFW roleplays in main roleplay chats and refused to move them to a section where minors could not view them, but I will not elaborate because though I was there and witnessed it, it was not a personal matter to me.

     After I finally left the server in July, Yume proceeded to gossip about me privately with other adults and spread misinformation to the members in her server. I have had multiple adult acquaintances tell me they had to shut Yume down from ranting about me to them on many occasions, and rationally, I can assume there’s many more people Yume talked to about me who did not tell me. Below is a screenshot of Yume spreading blatant misinformation about me in the main chat of Whumper Gathering, saying I sent her hate anons when I could not have possibly done so, since she blocked me.

     Again, I want to reiterate this is the surface level of things. There have been many, many more instances of Yume behaving inappropriately toward me or speaking about me in an inappropriate way. 

     What makes this worse is Yume and some members of her new staff team’s responses.

     Yume adamantly denies any wrongdoing and mongers people around her to agree with her by guilting them with her anxiety, triggers, and sex repulsion. She repeatedly tries to use her asexuality to excuse her actions, or to say that she couldn’t possibly be a predator because of her trauma. She denies every aspect of this situation and blames me.

     She blatantly lies about stopping calling me her trophy wife, as the nickname usage did not stop until I left the server and had no further contact with her. She also completely makes up me implying all asexual people are predators. That never happened. She calls my statements contradictory and tries to explain away her actions, taking no personal responsibility for the situation. She tries to use her sex repulsion as an excuse, and does not own up to being at fault for any part of the situation.

     This is just one of her many, many “apologies”/public statements.

     I rejoined both Whumper Gathering and Niji in July with the intention of shedding light on how dangerous of a person Yume was. Niji was originally an RWBY fandom project, but quickly devolved into Yume’s side server and personal venting space.

     I was met with the support of many members, both in Niji and Whumper Gathering, but Yume’s new mod team (not any of the mods I worked with, there was a mass walk out shortly before I rejoined; this is a newly hired set) had some particularly disgusting responses to me. I was attacked, called a liar, and demeaned, particularly by Kekune. Kekune, who is also an adult, said extremely nasty things to me and completely defended Yume and her actions while also flat out attacking me. She blamed me for everything in relation to Yume while trying to garner support from other server members.

     As you can see, Kekune not only excuses Yume’s behavior, but lies about the facts of the situation, and blames me, the literal child in the situation, for every aspect and states that I should‘ve prevented myself from being sexualized by an adult. “She didn’t mean it like that” is just one of many excuses made during this conversation.

     This entire situation has been extremely emotionally and physically exhausting for me. I’ve put off making this post out of fear of backlash, but at this point, I am more concerned about general and minor safety of the whump community than about whatever hate I may receive. There are many, many other horrible behaviors and things Yume has done in the WG and Niji servers; these are just my own personal experiences, as I think the posts I linked above do plenty of explaining, and I don’t need to beat a dead horse.

     My message and point with sharing this is simple. Do Not Interact, particularly if you are a minor. If you are still in WG or Niji, leave. Yume is a dangerous individual, as are many of her mods.

     Yume has over a hundred side blogs. The ones I know she uses most are @/whump-dream and @/midian-alexandra. I urge EVERYONE, particularly minors, not to interact with her or either of her servers. It is not safe. You could end up gaslit, manipulated, and/or verbally abused. It’s not worth being there for entertainment or to “watch the drama.”

     All of the above words are mine and mine only. No one else edited this, or even saw it before I posted it publicly. You are welcome to reblog for signal boost if you’d like, but I ask that you please do not add any comments and message me privately with any concerns, because I do not want this to turn into a witch hunt or a flame war against Yume or her staff, and again, this post is 100% from me. Please be safe, friends. The whump community is meant to be safe and welcoming and individuals like this prevent that from being the case.

-Sara (nowhumponmain)

[hwajin]

people aren’t coming for you because minors are interacting with your nsfw content, people are just giving you advice on the safety of minors online. you are giving these kids a platform to rant about their personal lives, family problems, and sometimes, letting them send pictures on your asks and you post them. i know you think you’re giving these children a “safe space”, but what you’re doing could be dangerous in the long run. if a pedophile and someone who’s psycho enough comes across your blog and sees all of these asks from minors, they can do a lot of damage, not only to you, but to your mutuals who are minors as well.

minors interacting with nsfw is a whole other discussion for another time, but all we’re doing is reminding you about setting boundaries. if you want to talk to them in detail, maybe do it in private. blasting out family problems and stories about personal lives in extreme detail is never safe, not even for people who aren’t minors. kathy, i’m not coming for you nor am i angry at you. i’m here, as one of your followers, to remind you about the possible consequences of all of these.

ok i- so this is like- general information i guess, where i try to explain one last time what i think about this whole minor thing because i'm honestly tired of it, and i don't wanna come at anyone, at all, it's not my intention to be rude. first of all, with this whole thing you might make the minor uncomfortable and feel like they shouldn't be on my blog when there's literally no reason to not be on here. second, this minor has their own blog, their own anons who are adults as well, their own content. if pedos really wanted smth from them, they would not be looking on a blog of a 18yo. third, you don't know anything about me, or this minor, other than the fact that we interact in my asks. we do, actually, interact privately as well, even more than we do on here since it's more convenient, and in private we talk about way other stuff then on here. of course, still sfw and still responsible and reasonable, simply slightly more personal due to the privatness. minors are not babies. they know how much they can share, they know their own boundaries and my boundaries, which, yes, i have on my blog. i, before every ask, think about if it's safe to post, if it's safe to talk about, if it's safe to make public. there are minimum a 100 asks i decided not to post, even tho this minor did not tell me to do so, and where i decided to rather talk to them in private. believe me, i do know my and their boundaries, and they know mine. i'm an adult myself, i know what i'm doing, i know about the problem that minors might bring, but this is simply not the case on my blog and i hope i made it understandable.