#even though we live basically in the same city like she has the same time as me

[des-fangirl]

Hey guys could you please tell me that if i have bad vision it's not like, the end of the world AND I CAN STILL LIVE LATER AND EVERYTHING im kinda panicking about my eyes again and my ophthalmologist appointment is pretty soon :'] i feel like my vision has gotten worse this year so i really don't know how to calm down (

[savanir]

DP x DC prompt [3]

during one of the final psych evals at Arkham right before he gets to be released, the whole thing wrapped up so tidy, just a little relapse which involved a robbery. Getting sent back to Arkham, but he got to stay at the asylum so long that he no longer has to serve a prison sentence, score!

But during that eval his overseeing psychiatrist recommended him to have a change of scenery, some fresh non polluted air.

Riddler was rather convinced the guy was making this recommendation to everyone in Arkham in their own weird way to convince them to just leave Gotham and become someone else's problem. should he notify Batman about it somehow? nah, it’ll be more interesting to see how this is gonna turn out in the long run.

But can he leave the state? Can he even leave the city? he never really bothered to look into it, at least not legally, up until now if he felt he needed to leave for one of his plans he just did it.

Turns out he can, it’s a whole hassle and a half though, first a judge and then a probation officer and he’s pretty sure both were like “what the hell is this psychiatrist guy thinking!?” but at the same time, shrink probably knows what he’s doing (WRONG) so he’s allowed to go visit out of state family or whatever.

he had to wear this nice ankle monitor though, Wayne Enterprises™ tech, not overly bulky but still very present. real fancy, and a fun extra challenge heh.

now as for a good reason to leave New Jersey he’s going to need distant relatives, and he finds some, great grandpa walker also has a son, who had a son who had a daughter Madeline, who married some guy Jack Fenton, and she lives somewhere out in the boonies Illinois. great he’ll visit her.

far enough away in all sense of the word that there is no way she knows anything about him. it would be best to call her first though, be polite about it.

“hello, you have reached Fenton works, this is Maddie speaking” 

“Riddle me this-” ah whoops, habit, oh whatever, “we don’t share parents, but certainly a part of your life, from laughter to strife. Who am I?”

there is a pause …  he’s going to be a bit disappointed if she hangs up if he’s honest.

“cousins~” comes the cheery reply.

“correct! the name is Edward Nygma, we are distantly related you and I and well-”

“oh you simply must come visit!” 

well this was rather easy, perhaps a little too easy, but she lives in the midwest so maybe just going with whatever some guy says over the phone is normal there? stranger danger not really a thing in a small town where everyone knows everyone?

things start to make a little more sense once he gets there and he’s starting to think some things might run in the family. like a preference for the colour green and weird hyperfixations and genius bordering on insanity. Though that remains to be seen, Jack does not seem like a very bright light after his very enthusiastic welcome.

their kids however are observant and sharp. young Jasmine is wasting no time trying to psychoanalyze him. and the boy, Danny, he had not really meant to and he swears he’s sticking with calling the kid Danny so he wouldn’t seem overly familiar, but he might have called him little bird a couple times now.

but that’s all whatever, he’s playing nice here. and he doesn’t even have to worry about his eccentricities tripping him up because this place is insane.

There actually is a local teen vigilante active but he seems about as loved as he’s disliked. and the ghost boy’s enemies are basically all his own kind, which another crazy thing to now know about. ghost. they are real actually, how is Gotham not completely overrun? and how do they even work? and where do they keep coming from?

Edward might be getting a little sidetracked here. He had fully intended to sneakily get his next big game plan underway all the way out here, ankle monitor be damned. but he hasn’t made any progress at all.

Instead he’s been listening to Madeline and Jack to maybe figure out what the deal is with these ectoplasmic entities, he has to know, at this point he might go crazier if he doesn’t. 

He’s making Jasmine promise him not to get her doctorate in Gotham, he’s going back and forth with space riddles with Danny.

so yeah the whole thing kinda just became a vacation, maybe the psychiatrist had the right idea after all? hmm nah, probably not. but this is fun. He’s thinking about recommending this place to some of the others.

It's different enough to get the vacation feel, but enough crazy shit happens to make it all feel like home.

it is not until Maddie wants to talk with him about potentially switching the position of godfather of Danny to him rather than some weird rich friend of theirs that Edward realizes he might have lost the plot somewhere

Apparently the little bird basically begged them with a powerpoint presentation on how he likes Edward so much more than that Vladimir guy. 

And honestly, the fellow sounds like a Dracula Lutho so even if it’s kinda sad Edward can understand why he’d be considered a better option. Even if the guy has more money and a huge company that makes him said money. And it’s not like the Fentons know about his Riddler activities.

Thinking it over, Edward does think that Danny would like Gotham and Wayne has that space program thing right? The kid is definitely smart enough for that (Nygma certified), and yeah Edward does quite like their space themed back and forth. So, fuck it, why not, what is the worst that could happen?

He doubts Maddie and Jack are gonna kick it any time soon anyway out here in the boonies, it’s just a title thing, a stamp of approval or something.

he should have known he was going to eat those words later… he had this whole beautifully elaborate trap set up for the whole Batclan, and he was just getting to the good part when his phone went off.

Had to put the whole thing on pause cause that particular contact wasn’t gonna get ignored. He did promise to be available.

If the whole thing he had planned now went tits up he could at the very least laugh later at the reactions of the bats as he told them to “hold up one second, I have to take this.” while they were all in various perilous positions. 

Sadly he did have to go, he had a very distressed godson to pick up.

[6ix9inewiturmom]

Show And Tell- Matthew Sturniolo

Summary: When matt takes your virginity and shows you how to make yourself feel better about not being so experienced in the sex world

Warnings: Smut, Inexperienced!sub!reader, Experienced!Dom!Matt, praising, cursing, use of Y/N, Oral (fem receiving), P in V, Unprotected sex (Safe sex is great sex, cause you don’t want that late text that I think I'm late text- Lil Wayne), TW! brief talk of emotionally absent parents!

A/N: i absolutely love writing sweet Matt, but what i love writing more is MATT THE MF MUNCHHHH!!

psa: DONT STEAL MY WORK!! THIS BELONGS TO ME MYSELF AND I!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ever since Middle school Nick, Matt, Chris, and I have been inevitable. Their mother, Mary Lou, has always taken me in as her own, considering I was the youngest out of 5 in my family, and my parents had me later in life, as soon as I learned how to care for myself, they quit raising me and only came through in times they ‘needed’ to be parents. Mary Lou was the woman I called my mother. whenever they went on a family vacation I always went with them. To the mall? I went. She basically had Quadruplets. When the triplets moved to LA, we were all over 18, and I was more than ready to leave my parent's house even though I had pretty much moved in with them for how much I stayed over, so I moved with them. I offered to get an apartment close by, but all of them collectively agreed and even argued with me about it, so now we all live in the same house.

Today was pretty much a normal day in the house, very calm, no one was filming, and we just did our own things. Matt and I had no plans, Chris went out shopping with some friends, and Nick had meetings and then dinner plans with Tara for a collab idea which left Matt and I at the house.

“Cant believe that you and my mother BOTH collectively agreed to let me walk out of the house looking like that” Matt said laughing showing me a memory that popped up on his moms Facebook page.

“To be fair you were dead set on wearing that entire outfit and your mom and I both knew we couldn't talk you out of that” I said laughing back and throwing my hands up in defense.

“That's when I dated Cassie too, how gross,” he said giving himself the Ick.

“She was the town whore, what'd you expect,” I say giggling at my comment.

“You know I never asked, whatever happened to Jackson? I just recalled he spread some rumor about him taking your virginity, and a bunch of other stuff, and you came to the house crying and Mom was comforting you and you never spoke about that again” he looks over at me as my head hung low looking at my hands.

Jackson was a guy I ‘dated’ junior year of high school, he took me on one date, it was very nice and he seemed amazing, though I should've listened to Nick when he told me Jackson was no good. After our date instead of taking me home he insisted on talking more and drove to the park in the middle of the city. His intentions were not pure. Jackson tried every which way to get me in the backseat, I rejected many many times that night and made some excuse on how I was on my period and that immediately grossed him out. Come to find out, as soon as we got back to school he spread a rumor around the entire school that he had taken my virginity and told the school I was into weird kinks. I knew I couldn't go to my mother about that because she would have taken me directly to the health clinic to ‘check if I was still pure’ so I went to Mary Lou, i and made sure to tell her to tell the boys not to bring it up to me and try their best to shut it down.

“I uh thought i told you about what happened?” i lied and nervously laughed.

“Nope,” he said popping the ‘p’ “I'm pretty sure I would have remembered something that important to where my own mother had to come to me, Nick, and Chris, and tell us not to talk to you about it, plus I mean it's been 4 years if you don't wanna talk about it I understand,” he said reassuring me.

I've always felt comfortable with all 3 of them, and always had a special relationship with all of them, and trust them with my life. I never went to them about this because I was embarrassed I was a virgin, I wasn't gonna tell them I didn't lose my virginity, considering both Matt and Chris came to me about sex advice I didn't want them to look at me any different for not being experienced enough so I lied and told them that Jackson did take my virginity but I wasn't into the weirder stuff Jackson accused me of.

“Fuck” I mutter under my breath. “Okay so, I just wanna say one thing before I tell you what actually happened between Jackson and me” I look back at him with nerve piercing through my body.

“Y/N, you know you can tell me anything” Matt adjusts himself to face me.

“So don't judge me,” I start taking a deep breath. “So Jackson made up that entire rumor,” I take my bottom lip between my teeth.

“I’m extremely confused” he scratched the back of his head laughing.

“God this is embarrassing” I place my head in my hands “fuck it, so he didn't take my virginity at all, and obviously the kink thing was a lie” I look up at him who still has a puzzled look on his face.

“So if Jackson didn't take your virginity then who did? Cause you basically swore off dating after him” he raises his eye brows in confusion.

“No one, Matt, I'm a uh Virgin” I drop my head down in embarrassment fiddling with my fingers.

“No fucking way, you gave both Chris and me AMAZING sex advice, stop fucking with me Y/N/N” he said laughing.

“Matt I'm being for real,” I shoot him an awkward smile “and please the sex advice ain't nothing, I know what I would like so I kinda made an assumption and by the looks of it, I'm guessing it worked” I nervously laughed.

“Holy shit,” his eyes go wide “why haven't you, you know?”

“It's hard for me to trust people, especially with something like that,” I shrugged my shoulders “When I hit puberty, my mother gave me a ‘save yourself till marriage’ talk instead of informing me of my body she scared me from sex, but I had gone to your mom one day when you three were hanging with Nate and she actually gave me that kinda talk and more or less told me to always make sure I felt safe and in the hands of someone I trust, and Jackson did neither of those things” I continue to fiddle with my fingers.

“You trust me right?” he says curiously

“Matt don't be stupid, yes I do” I lightly giggle. “Why is that even a question?”

“ah fuck it, never mind” he brushes it off.

“No, no, I told you something that no one knows so come on speak up,” I lightly push his arm.

“I was gonna say I could teach you a couple things about sex but i ain't too sure you'd be down for that anyway” he shrugged his shoulders turning his body back towards the TV.

“What if I was down?” I look at him through my lashes.

His head jerks in my direction, “actually?” his eyes light up.

“Matt do you know how embarrassing it is to be an almost 21-year-old who's never had sex,” a soft giggle escaped my lips.

“Have you ever like, touched yourself before?” he said slightly cringing at his words.

I was a little taken aback by his curiosity “I mean yeah, once or twice” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Did you like ever finish from that?” he shifts his body back in my direction. “I know this sounds a bit invasive but I promise if you want to do this I have a reason for asking these questions” he placed his hand on my knee.

“No… it just um” I swallow the lump in my throat “I just couldn't..”

“So you've never experienced anything sexual?” the curiosity in his voice makes me feel safer and know he's not judging me and is actually caring enough to ask and not just crawling on top of me and getting down to it.

“Nope,” I say softly

He slowly nods “Do you want to learn?” his voice goes soft.

“H-how?” I stutter out.

“Obviously if you feel comfortable enough with it, I could be the one to show you, If you catch my drift” he sends me a reassuring smile.

“Y-you would take my virginity?” I ask nervously.

“Only if you want me to” his voice trails off

“What about Nick and Chris? God that would be awkward if they walked in or something, oh my god I don't want them to think any-” he cuts me off

“Woah slow down, it's okay, they won't be back till like 9, and it's 4 now, we'll be okay kid” he laughed rubbing soft circles with his thumb over my knee. “Do you want to do this?”

I nod softly. “No this is important to you, I want your verbal consent that this is okay” he moves closer to me.

“Yes, please, I want this, all of this,” I say softly adjusting my body closer to his.

He smiles leaning closer to my face and softly pressing his lips against mine. My eyes fall shut and I turn into jello as I feel the way his hand that was once on my knee moves up toward my hip. A small smile creeps upon both of our lips. I softly pull away.

“Can we not do this on the couch?” I say laughing a little

“Absolutely,” he stands up almost immediately and picks me up bridal style walking into his room and kicking the door open as I giggle like a kid in a candy store.

He carefully sets me down on his blue silk sheets crawls on top of me and presses his lips onto mine once again making a soft groan travel between our lips.

“Can I take this off?” he says softly playing with the hem of my shirt.

“Yes” I bite my bottom lip

He smiles down at me and pulls my shirt off leaving me in my bra. He hooks his finger under my bra strap rubbing his finger up and down just looking down at me. “You're so beautiful. I don't ever tell you much” his comment makes a soft pink shade appear on my cheeks.

He leans down again kissing me and pointing his tongue out for permission to enter, my mouth opens slightly as his tongue explores my mouth, and this time his hands start to grab at my covered breast. “You can take it off, Matt” I giggle between kisses.

He gave me no response but his left hand held my lower back and his right unclasped my bra letting it fall right off my shoulders. He pulled away from kissing me and looked down at my breast in awe. “God you're Fucking beautiful” he mutters.

His mouth begins leaving kisses down from my jawline to my collarbone and stopping at my breast looking up at me through his lashes almost asking for permission without asking. I shoot him a smile and nod and his tongue licks softly across my nipple sending shivers down my spine. He smirks to himself attaching his mouth to one of my nipples and slightly tugging at my other. He sucks and nips at my nipples taking them between his teeth every now and again. My breathing gets heavier at the sensitivity and my head falls back as a soft whimper falls from my mouth.

He lifts his head up and places himself between my legs to unbuckle my shorts, shimmy them down my legs, and throws them with the pile of clothes next to the bed. He admires my choice of underwear today, smirking as they're unironically his favorite color, purple, with a tiny little bow right up top. He hooks his finger at the top of them sliding back and forth before sliding them down my legs leaving me bare beneath him.

“such a pretty fucking pussy” he groans out. he leans his head down and spits down onto my aching pussy. using his thumb he slowly moves up and down.

“Holy fuck” I gasp out.

Matt chuckles and moves his body down where his head is now between my legs. His thumb is still slowly going up and down he begins kissing down my thighs on both sides. “I want you” he places another kiss on my thigh “to tell me” Another kiss “What feels good to you alright?” he places a kiss right above my clit.

“O-okay” I say nervously

“And please don't be afraid to tell me to stop” he gives me a reassuring smile.

I nod sending him the same warm smile. He starts to place a soft kiss on my clit before flattening his tongue on my pussy and licking a stripe up and groaning once the taste of me hits his tongue.

“Oh, Matt” My breathing hitches and I throw my head back in pleasure.

His tongue begins to flick up at a faster pace making moans spill out of my mouth, his eyes are fixated on me and how my body reacts to his mouth pleasuring me.

“Fuck you're so fucking good at this” My fingers run through his hair forcing his head deeper into me.

He moans into me sending vibrations through my body as my hips jerk up and my eyes roll back. His lips attach to my clit sucking on it a little causing a squeal to fall from my mouth.

“Fuck i-i I think I'm gonna cum” I stutter out as an unfamiliar knot forms in the pit of my stomach

“Mhm” he mutters before lifting his head “Let it go sweet girl” he lowers his head again taking my clit between his teeth and flicking upwards on it.

“Oh my FUCK” I scream out when that knot snapped a wave of euphoria pierced my body and my orgasm dripped out of me making Matt move his body to watch it happen.

He wiped his mouth using his arm smiling “you okay baby?” he chuckled.

“Fuck” I breathe out “If that's why people are sex addicts I see why god damn that was amazing” I smiled up at him.

“I'm not even done yet” he smirks lifting his shirt over his head and throwing it across the room.

“Are you 100% positive you want this?” he asks as he stands up removing his belt.

“This is the first decision I've ever made that I'm 100% positive I won't regret,” I say as I watch him remove his pants and free his cock with his tip red and throbbing for attention.

He climbs back and moves me farther up on the bed. “Fuck there's no way that's gonna fit in me, that's fucking massive,” I say as my eyes stare at his cock.

“It'll fit baby” he chuckles “shit I don't have a condom,” he says rummaging through his bedside table.

“I'm on birth control, you don't need one” I smile up at him.

“Are you sure?” he smirks.

“Yes Matt,” I smile batting my lashes up at him.

“Okay then” he brings his hand up to his mouth and spits in it before gliding his now wet hand to coat his aching cock. “I gonna go slow, inch by inch and you tell me when to move, and tell me if it hurts too much I'll stop immediately,” he says aligning his cock with my entrance.

“Okay,” I breathe out.

As his tip slowly enters me I hiss. “Are you okay?” he says with a concerned look on his face.

“I'm okay just hurts” I reply biting my lower lip.

He slowly enters another couple of inches. Watching how my face nuzzled up at the new feeling. Then he slides in another few inches. After a couple of minutes, he's fully bottomed out. “Look at that, you're doing so fucking amazing,” he says adjusting himself closer to my face and brushing loose strands out of my face.

“Y-you can move,” I say nodding slowly.

He smiles before slowly thrusting out and moving towards my hips as the pain I once felt turns into pleasure in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, matt fuck faster please” I plead gripping his biceps for support.

“God you're so fucking tight” his pace speeds up as he lowers his body and begins kissing my neck and groaning into me.

“S-so fucking big” I moan out.

He rolls his hips towards mine and slams them into me. His grunts become harsher. “Fuck” he growled in my ear. “I love the way you feel wrapped around me” he moans in my ear which is almost a whimper.

“Matt” I scream out as his cock finally and repeatedly kisses my G-spot.

“Someone close eh?” he lifts up sadistically grinning at me.

I nod vigorously as my legs begin twitching and shaking around his waist and that knot forms in my stomach for the second time tonight.

“Cum all over my fucking dick baby, I know you can do it,” he said as his thrusts become sloppy.

With just his words that knot snapped in my stomach and formed a white ring around the base of his cock as my cum coats his cock. With a couple more thrusts he nuzzles his head in my neck and paints my walls a shade of white. He slowly pulls out careful not to hurt me.

“Fuck you're amazing” I breath out coming down from my euphoric state.

“Yeah? You did fucking amazing,” he smiles down at me laying next to me and pulling me into a cuddled skin-to-skin hug.

“Thank you matt” I mutter into his chest.

“No problem sweetheart” he kissed the top of my head. “You know I'd do anything for you” he softly whispers making me smile and nuzzle into him more.

“Do you want me to run you a nice bath? Or you wanna go get food? What do you wanna do, cause we got about 2 hours till Nick and Chris come home” he pulls away looking at me.

“We can shower and I can cook for us” I smile at him.

“Perfect” he smiles at me and picks me up bridal style again to carry me to the bathroom.

The way he cared for me, I knew I made the right decision. Losing my virginity to the man I knew I could trust.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N pt 2: TY TO THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS!! BECAUSE THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE!! anyways i hope you guys are having an amazing evening, afternoon, morning, or night!! and i love you guys!! 🩷🩷

[pollymorgan]

Teacher Negan - The Football Game - Part 1

Warnings: A very large age difference and of course, smut

Oh, and very important: It's all fiction of course! Please, my dears, use condoms and don't go with old men! :-P

That my mother has to move several hundred miles away with my aunt to open a beauty salon, especially before the last year of my high school, was initially a big shock for me, but now I also see the advantages it brings. First of all, I finally get out of my little town, and there's also the immediate proximity to my cousin. Cassady is 5 years older than me, to be exact 23, but we have always gotten along great. Another advantage is that I no longer have to see my ex-boyfriend every day, since we are no longer in the same class. Plus, I still have almost the entire summer vacation ahead of me to enjoy life to the fullest, like now at this football game. If I were to say I love football, that would be an understatement, because it feels like every American does. For me, it's an absolute dream to live in the city of my favorite team. That's why I'm wearing the appropriate hoodie over my dress and, of course, the matching cap at the game.

The atmosphere in the stadium is absolutely insane and totally captivating. Even if my cousin doesn't really see it that way and only came along because of me.

Now we just have to push through a horde of men to get to our seats. And then hopefully it will start soon. Even though the game will really become secondary. Because the atmosphere alone is reason enough to be here.

Getting to our seats, however, proves to be more difficult than expected. We each have two large beer cups in hand and somehow have to get through this crowd. But the line at the drinks stand was huge, and I didn't want to spend the start of the game waiting in line. So we planned ahead. I almost managed to get to my seat unscathed, when suddenly this guy turns around in a flash. Everything happens so quickly that I can't react anymore, and so I spill half of the beer on him and myself. The tall stranger initially looks at me very angrily and is about to scold me, but then his look suddenly changes as his dark eyes meet mine.

"What the hell.. oh, sorry.. I didn't mean to spill your drink, ...can I offer you a new one? Of course, only if you're already 21.." He starts to grin, and his perfectly white row of teeth shines through his silver-black beard.

I'm still a bit overwhelmed by the whole situation and look bewildered at the large wet spot on his black shirt under his dark jacket. Guys my age are never dressed so well. Only maybe for a funeral or a prom, and I've never been to either.

"I'm already 22.." I say somewhat defiantly, and according to my fake ID, that wouldn't even be a lie.

"Perfect.." he concludes.

He turns around to hand me a full beer from the drinks available behind him. I take it gratefully, and finally my cousin and I can sit down exhausted in our seats.

Immediately she whispers excitedly in my ear, "Did you see how that guy looked at you? He's at least twice as old as you and basically undressed you with his eyes .. pretty cringe..".

I look at her innocently, "Cringe? I actually find him quite cute!"

"Cute?" she asks in surprise, rolling her eyes.

The stranger sits down in the seat right next to me and toasts us.

"Thanks," I say again.

"No problem, pleasure to meet you, i’m Negan!"

"Sam.." I stammer somewhat clumsily.

Then everyone turns back to their groups. After a while, I'm engrossed in conversation with my cousin again, but the guy next to me has put on such an intense cologne that it lingers in my nose the whole time. It smells so ruggedly masculine that it almost drives me crazy. Whenever I have the chance, I shyly glance to the right, but he doesn't look at me anymore. I'm strangely disappointed, so I try to push that thought aside.

The game is running fantastically. My team is winning, which makes me so euphoric that I even infect my cousin with it.

After the game, as we're getting ready to leave, someone roughly grabs my arm. I startle briefly, then look back into the dark eyes that send a pleasant tingling sensation through my entire body.

"Do you and your friend maybe want to come with us to a bar to celebrate the victory a bit?" he asks with a deep tone, and I feel my stomach vibrating at his words.

Suddenly, my cousin's voice snaps me out of my trance. "No, sorry, we have to get up early..".

I look at her puzzled.

"Um, actually... apologize for us for a moment!".

The stranger seems to be thoroughly amused by this situation.

I turn to her and whisper in her ear, "That sounds fun... come on, let's go with them!"

"With these guys?!" she says a bit too loudly.

Startled, I turn around, but he is engrossed in a conversation again and apparently, thankfully, hasn't noticed. After a seemingly endless discussion, we agree that I will go to the bar with them without her. But only with the promise to be reachable on the phone at all times.

Reluctantly, Cassady bids me goodbye with a hug and whispers in my ear, "Take care of yourself... and don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Since my cousin has quite a bit of a checkered past, I don't even feel guilty promising her that.

When I agree to go with them, the stranger firmly takes my hand to guide me through the crowd out of the stadium. I'm initially a bit shocked by this strange situation, but fearing to lose him among the crowd, I interlock my fingers tightly with his and let him lead me out of the stadium.

The three of us, along with another man, take a seat on the backseat of a large black Audi. The men in the car are engaged in lively conversation about the game. Fortunately, I understand quite a bit about football and can engage in some discussion without sounding dumb, even though everyone else present is probably 30 years older than me.

After a short ride, we park in front of a small bar.

As we enter, the smell of smoke and alcohol greets me. The men take a seat at a round table, and I excuse myself for a moment to go to the bathroom.

There, I take off my sweater and am quite glad that I'm wearing a short black dress underneath. I take off my cap and let my hair down, then adjust it and try to fix my makeup a bit. I take a deep breath a few more times, looking at myself in the mirror. Then I go back, determined. But the table is empty. Startled, I look around, a thousand thoughts racing through my head.

But then I hear someone call out, "Here we are!" The voice comes from the billiard table. Relieved, I see Negan sitting on a sofa in front of the others. I walk purposefully towards them.

Two are already playing, and the clattering of the balls drowns out the conversations in the entire bar.

Since the couch is already occupied, I take a seat on the armrest next to Negan. He unabashedly looks me up and down and then offers me a beer.

"You look damn good..." he says directly, making my heart skip a beat and my cheeks blush.

After the men finish their game, I challenge him. He accepts with a smile, probably not expecting that I practically grew up at the billiard table. As he takes his first shots, he realizes it's not as easy as he thought, which pleases me.

Watching him concentrate more on the game makes me proud, and he looks even better doing it. As he leans closer to make his next move, he unexpectedly gives me a rather strong pat on the backside.

"Hey, unfair move!" I protest immediately, which only elicits a tired smile from him, but sends a strong tingle down in my lower abdomen.

But I manage to win against him, albeit very narrowly, which clearly annoys him. Afterwards, he has to endure some teasing from his buddies. Resignedly, he sits back on the sofa, and I proudly perch on the armrest again.

During the next round with his friends, we engage in animated discussions about their gameplay and continue drinking our beer. After a while, Negan starts touching my bare shin. At first, he just places his warm hand there, but then he starts stroking it slowly. The touches of his large rough hands are so gentle that they give me goosebumps. I enjoy this feeling and what it does to me to the fullest. I'm disappointed when he lets go of my leg, but only to offer me a vodka shot that the waitress had placed on a large tray in front of us. The drink is much needed, as my mouth feels incredibly dry.

We clink glasses, and I down the shot in one go. The sharp alcohol burns in my throat and then warms my stomach, shooting straight to my head. I can tell that Negan is watching my every move closely.

As soon as I place the empty glass back on the table, he puts his hand on my thigh.

"You look so damn sexy drinking it all in one go, do you like swallowing other things too?" he whispers unabashedly.

I almost slap him out of reflex, but as I look into his grinning face and his lustful eyes meet mine, my whole lower abdomen tightens, and I can't help but smirk. We gaze at each other for a while, and then I decisively say, "Why don't you find out.."

Without warning, he pulls me onto his lap, and before I know it, I'm straddling him, and he immediately starts kissing me. His lips are incredibly demanding. I place my hands on his cheeks to try to control the situation somewhat, while I completely forget everything around me and simply ignore the stupid comments from others.

His fingers trail down my back purposefully, immediately gripping my buttocks tightly. Then he presses me firmly against his pelvis. Excited, I breathe against his open mouth as I feel his penis getting harder and pressing strongly against me.

Sensing my hesitation, he whispers softly, "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Nothing.. it's just pretty big.." I grin, feeling a bit embarrassed.

He smiles contentedly and presses me against him again, then gently kisses the sensitive skin on my neck and says in my ear, "Oh, don't worry, pretty princess, I'll order a taxi for us now, and then we'll go to my place where I'll pamper you so much that your little pussy will get nice and wet for me, and then my big, hard cock can slide into you slowly and effortlessly. How does that sound?"

His deep voice and direct manner drive me crazy. I nod decisively and kiss him again. I then take his right hand off my butt and guide it under my dress, directly between my legs.

"I'm already so wet for you, feel it!" I reply somewhat shyly.

His fingers deftly shift my panties aside, while his eyes scan my face precisely, enjoying every reaction from me. Slowly, he skillfully glides his middle finger through my cleft, causing me to involuntarily flinch.

"You're such a naughty sweet girl!" he remarks amusedly, as his finger leaves my most intimate place again, moistening my lips with my wetness. He then kisses me again, passionately sucking my taste from my lips. "You taste incredibly good.." he says contentedly.

[bobbile-blog]

Not sure if anyone’s said this yet but now that we have Laterano events plural I’m fascinated by their (imo) very deliberate choice of protagonists, and there are almost a couple of layers of narrative going on there. I struggle a little figuring out how to get this into words but specifically I think they’re chosen to be people who can carry a narrative without contradicting the orthodox morals of the church. There’s a LOT of vaguely anti-authoritarian rambling below the cut so please kindly bear with me and my English major brain.

I can’t really start there though. One of the reasons this is so brain hurty is how deeply it’s woven into the storyline, so to start, I have to verbalize how Laterano and Arknights writing more generally is different from other, similar settings. Because like, I hear the words “morally negative church in a grimdark setting” and my brain immediately shuts off. Come on, that’s so far beyond low-hanging fruit, if you’ve seen any grimdark setting ever you know exactly what that looks like. And sure, it was fine the first two or three times you saw it, depending on your tolerance for that kinda thing, but it gets boring quick and even when it was new it was kinda uninteresting story-wise. “Religion is always fake because it inspires hope which means everyone who takes meaning from it is either a corrupt grifter or naive and misled” isn’t just edgy nonsense, it’s also basically useless as an actual critique. It tells you absolutely nothing except how to tune out a particular kind of story, and a story that tries to get you to hear less is doing its job wrong.

So, Arknights does something different. Instead of denying the premise of the church entirely, it actually takes it at its word. Laterano is, in almost every definition of the word, a paradise. It is basically unmatched in terms of actual quality of life, with its only competitors being the Durin cities and maybe Aegir, and is worlds apart from now much the rest of Terra sucks. More than that, though, the paradise is specifically tailored to the worldview of a religion with a strong central authority - when I say it takes it at its word, I mean the authoritarian bits too. Laterano is a city that lives in perfect order and peace because everyone follows the law perfectly and they all understand each other and never fight. Empathy is really important for this, as it allows for a believable amount of superhuman societal order. Laterano has very little crime, political drama, or quarrels in general. It’s the promises of a strict higher authority actually taken at face value: everyone follows the rules and that means they have effectively unfettered freedom, because they don’t want to break the rules and therefore they can do anything they want.

Laterano is specifically written to be a believable paradise in a setting that has none, so that when the story then turns around and criticizes that setting, it has significantly more weight. Even when the promises of paradise are taken at face value, there are still issues that cannot be addressed because the system is inherently flawed even in the imaginary scenario where it works. Even worse, the problems that poke holes in the imaginary perfect scenario are the same problems that they face in the real world, like “how do you deal with the interpretation of scriptures” and “hey there’s this racism thing I keep hearing about should we be worried about that or what”. Because of the way this imaginary perfect system works, we then look back on our real world in a new light and understand it a little better. It’s good critique.

Okay so how did we get here and what does this have to do with the protagonists? Well, this starts with Fiametta in Guide Ahead, because she’s a really weird protagonist. This is a cold take at this point but despite being the character on the front of the box, she has very little to actually do with the central conflict of the event. Most of the conflict is handled by Ezell first and Andoain second, and Fiametta mostly putters around putting holes in people until the finale where Andoain receives the answer he’s been looking for, he turns to explain it to the world, and he runs into the only person in the whole of Laterano who does not care about his motivations or his revelation. Her role, in other words, is to replace the climax of Andoain’s story with her own, and in doing so she makes it much harder to actually get a resolution and a meaning out of the story (this should not be taken as a criticism of her character, let me cook). Guide Ahead’s ending is hazy, with only small piecemeal resolutions to its conflicts, and for the longest time that was just the way the event was written and it stood on its own.

But now, Hortus de Escapismo is out and the monkey brain see patterns. Specifically, with the choice of protagonists. Because Executor is definitely different from Fiametta as a protagonist, but there’s one particularly important connection between the two, and that’s that as I mentioned in the beginning, they allow for stories don’t contradict orthodox morality. Fiametta we went over, as she’s uninterested in any of Andoain’s morality and just wants him dead. Executor, though, is purely focused on his mission and views the world through that lens. He only wants to achieve his objective, and while helping the needy is in line with the stated objectives of the church and he does do so when able, it’s secondary to his assigned task. He does change as he gets further into the story, and we’re not gonna ignore that, but we’ll be back to it later. What I mean is more that he is designed as a person who is able to lead a story that doesn’t contradict with the morals of Laterano. He sees the injustice and suffering around him, but that’s not his job, so he doesn’t need to solve it to have a complete story with a happy ending.

This is where it really gets complicated, so I apologize if I don’t explain this very well. I see this as us dealing with multiple layers of fiction: the events of the story, the perspective of the church, and our perspective as readers. Back to the first point - authoritarian institutions almost always use stories to sell people on their brand of order. Simple stories, simple enough that even calling them myths seems like overselling it a little, your “Saint George slays a dragon” kinda thing. This is the point of the second layer, the perspective of the church. I don’t really have an in-world justification for this layer - maybe you could make the argument that it has to do with Law’s perspective on things, but I don’t totally buy that - I think it’s more in a weird narrative transition space for people who don’t read very carefully. Regardless, Fiametta and Executor’s shared indifference to the questionable circumstances surrounding them is designed to let them tell a story to prop up the existing order. Their protagonist status and their missions are specifically constructed to allow them to ignore the suffering around them, and as such ignore the larger questions that might poke holes in the larger order. They’re both playing out the story of Saint George, where they go and find a bad guy and kill them and that’s all there is to it. The story is designed and told specifically for that “that’s all there is to it”.

But, as we said earlier, this is a good critique, and as such it intentionally undercuts this story with the third layer: what we actually see as readers. We are shown the suffering and the injustice, and then get to see our protagonists ignoring that to pursue their goals. This is what gives Guide Ahead’s ending its unique texture, which sets it apart from every other event with a vaguely unresolved ending. We have seen the actual issues with Laterano, and also watched our protagonist explicitly ignore them in favor of her own story. It’s unsatisfying in a way that only really makes sense to me if we as the readers have an understanding of intentional authorship. Whether it be Yvangelista XI or Law or The Actual Real Life Pope, there are issues here that we want to see a resolution to but people are choosing not to address them. Again, it’s good critique. Not only does it push the reader to unpack and understand the actual real-world technique, but it also helps blunt it. You have just seen a plot and protagonist ring uncharacteristically hollow. You then look around to see why that is, and you realize there are many things that should have been resolved that weren’t. The next time you see a story resolve with that same hollow-ness, you know where to look. Surprise! Harry Potter was propaganda the whole time. It’s okay, it was never good, you were just twelve.

I guess the last thing is where we go from here, because Executor’s story breaks this mold somewhat. In Hortus de Escapismo, he has to deal with a mission that isn’t actually bounded by his normal rules, and because of that he actually does have leeway to help the people around him. He starts as someone who is totally mission-focused, but by the end of the event he’s done a total 180 and is blocking Oren’s attack, which makes the mission harder but helps the non-mission-critical civilians of the monastery. He breaks from the rigid thinking of “kill the bad guy and that’s all there is do it”, and gives his attention to the people he isn’t supposed to see. I think this is an indication of the direction we’re going to be headed in the future with Laterano events. The events aren’t going to get better - they’re going to keep being just as morally murky and complicated as in the past - but the characters are going to get better at handling it, and when they do, they’re going to actually start to change things for the better.

Goddamn that was a lot of writing for 1 AM. I still have a. Lot of thoughts on this event with stuff like empathy and Lemuen and Federico being an autistic icon(my beloved) but I’m going to leave things there, I think, because if I write for any longer my phone is going to crash when I try to post this. Anyway if you actually made it to the end thanks for listening to me rambling and I hope that made sense. Cheers.

[rayroseu]

Azul was freaking SCARY during this part Ngl lmAO imagine blasting this guy with your most powerful spell and he starts laughing like a maniac with hollow eyes and SHOTS you unexpectedly with an even more POWERFUL spell😂😂😂

I would love more insane Azul ✨✨✨✨ being businessman prim doesnt suit him as much as this lol

Also I FELT this part lol its really nice seeing Rollo get beaten up after his nonsense 💥💥👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 Go get him board game club‼️‼️

I love the buildup towards this part. Malleus was written as if he was intimated by Rollo during the fight, but then his mask of being "weak" falls off and its actually revealed that he is not intimidated by Rollo at all, in fact the way this scene's vibes gives off??? He was looking down at him, with his 'plans' and his stupid delusion about antagonizing him.

I love when TWST reminds us that Malleus is a king. ✨✨

He hides off this personality that he truly believes he's too superior than anything, that he's undefeatable.

Not gonna lie y'all, I think Malleus won't be defeated by the flowers, he emphasized this from the start, that he's fighting Rollo because the flowers will be problematic for Briar Valley, but not him yk.

Plus, this is Meleanor's kid😂 Mother didn't birth a weak dragon‼️

I think this part also mirrors in Book 7 where the Silver Owls was convinced they caught Meleanor but she just laughed at them and declared that they'll decimate every human in her sight for being insulting as to think they can ravage her land and defeat her lol.

Also the fact that Henry basically narrates her as if she's the villain of humanity by calling her a witch... It parallels to Rollo seeing Malleus (even though he didn't do anything) as the root of all evil yk.

Also possible theory for the Kind Bellringer and the Just Judge??? We all know that their story is written more peaceful here than the Disney movie.

But one thing that's strange is that No one knows what the Bellringer was fighting for even if he's considered a hero of Fleur City-- at the same time, we don't know how Rollo even got the flowers (aside from studying ancient flora)--- Basically, Fleur City lore has many plotholes and no one knows what it is and why is that-- Its like Briar Valley history...

We know the crimson flowers are a reference to the scene where Quasimodo released lava around the Notre Dame to prevent Frollo from entering....

What if in Fleur City as well,,,, Quasimodo (as the Kind Bellringer here) rebelled as well against the Just Judge (Frollo) as well?? But the Just Judge is instead credited as "the saviour of Fleur City" because the evidence of the Bellringer acrually being the saviour is burned up or smth, thats why Fleur City's history has many gaps in them...

Also the Just Judge being the actual villain in the history but remembered as a hero now because of misinformation.... It matches Rollo's punishment that he'll forever be complimented by the actions he didn't do, and its up to his guilt whether he can stand living as a fraud who actually harmed the same people thats highly regarding him rn.

LMFAO GRIM????? DONT BULLY GRANPA TREIN??? YOU SILLY 😭😭😭😭 I wanna hug Grim he's so cute in this event.... My unruly son 💖💓💖💓🥹

The gargoyles are so cool🥹🥹🥹💖💓💖 How does Malleus differentiate them... 💥

Also this makes me wonder.... Why Briar Valley doesn't have talking gargoyles??? Isn't Briar Valley a magical nation??? Talking non living things should be a norm for them lol

but Malleus feels like its his first time ever with a talking gargoyle lol

ISNWIHBDHIWHID HE REFERRED TO HIMSELF AS "MAL" .... CAN YOU BE MORE CUTER THAN YOU ALREADY ARE 😭😭✨✨🫶🏻✨🫶🏻💓💖💖💖💖

he really loves nicknames rather than "titles" because people who gives him nicknames isnt shackled by the expected decorum of meeting him-- therefore these people are not acting and they are sincere with talking with him, it helps with the connection and feeling like he belongs 🥹🥹💞💞💞

I COULDN'T RESIST COMPLIMENTING GRIM AAGHHH MY CUTE AND ADORABLE AND HANDSOME SON YOU ARE MOST PRECIOUS THE ADORABLE HERO OF FLOWER CITY 💓💞💖💓💞💖

I love how Grim ran the moment he heard that someone is doing a celebratory toss lol The goofy running sfx lol 😂😂

I love how teasing Silver and Sebek was here lol Threatening to toss Idia in the air omg.. He's traumatized already from walking the stairs lol The way Sebek and Silver can be unexpectedly playful... it feels so... "Lilia taught this to them didnt he..." 😂😂😂

WAAAAHHH YUU CENTER ATTENTION YAY YAY 💖💓💞💖💞💖💓 i love how he used his sultry smile here though lol .... He knows we waiting for his undivided attention yiiiee✨✨✨💞💞💞

Also i hate this translation part.... In the twst JP Malleus dialogue shows the specific lyrics of "Make a Wish" hes singing rn but in TWST EN IT DOWNGRADED TO JUST " *SINGING* "l

also on the twistune, twst JP shows the lyrics but on twst en, theres none.... I don't get why they arent translating it... This game is for people who dont understand Japanese?? So its natural youre going to translate everything for us non japanese to yk... Atleast understand without googling for translations???

YEAAA PHOTOGRAPHER YUU HERE THEY SHINE 📸📸📸📸📸😎😎😎😎 be proud your mages still have magic crowley lmfao 💥💥💥

Also i hit the image limit now... But i love the Cinderella reference from Trein's dialogue ✨✨✨ that Yuu taking pictures of the ball can make the other uninvited students more jealous lol

Its a reference to how Lady Tremaine plotted against Cinderella just for her to never attend the ball... ✨

I like this event ngl, but I feel like Rollo's story was kind of rushed ngll jdnfiind we never found out why he's so angry at Malleus, how did he even come to the conclusion that killing Malleus is killing magic, bruh...🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Malleus is not even the top 1 strongest mage??? 😂😂

Also i feel like this event was made for Idia instead, it felt like Idia was the main character imo...

I just feel like the event couldve given their dynamic more light because its so intriguing that they went to similar trauma but have different outcomes...

In a way Rollo is what Idia wouldve become if he continued tormenting himself for Ortho's death alone...

He said to Rollo that "is removing magic what your brother wouldve wish?" I think thats very telling that even if its tragic that Robot Ortho's creation was fuelled by Idia's grief and defiance that Ortho is forever gone, it was suitable for Idia's pain to remind himself that Ortho wouldve wished he goes on... as is very telling of Book 6's ending about Ortho's refusal on Idia's suicide by going with him on the Underworld...

also because I think Rollo would need some person like Idia whos blunt for regular reality checks just so he wouldn't blinded by his delusion again and ransack the world 😭😭

[headspace-hotel]

a friend of mine said that the environment would be better if everyone lived in cities and basically left the rest of the natural world alone... i felt like there was something wrong with that argument but i really dont know enough about it to have a real point against it. i might be biased though cause i love being around nature and want to be able to live rural without killing the environment? idk im just wondering if she's right and how to live in a way that isnt negatively impacting the world

love your blog btw, it's been the thing that's helped me understand ecology for once

the idea that humans Are Bad for the ecosystem—not that particular activities or practices have particular negative effects, that just humans existing harms the environment—is in fact the worst idea ever

I mean, first of all, where does your friend think food comes from?

"Food" is one of the problems. It's one of a lot of problems. Some other problems include "all other natural resources besides food" and "human rights."

It's not just your friend, this kind of thing has been suggested in varying ways by self identified "leftists" a bunch of times, and I genuinely hope they're mostly random laypeople who can't really be expected to know more than they can learn from being terminally addicted to Twitter, because otherwise I will call them "dumber than a sack of hammers" in those exact words.

No offense to your friend. Your friend is a laypeople. And sadly, non-experts end up with ass-backwards ideas about how conserving the environment works, because of all this commonplace nonsense about humans being a cancer upon the planet. I'm not angry about those people, just sad.

But my serious answer is—The world's most intact and best managed ecosystems are found on land owned and managed by Indigenous people, who do what with the land?

LIVE ON IT.

And these groups of people learned to manage and care for the land how?

BY LIVING ON IT.

Conventional (white, Western) intuition holds that human management of an ecosystem should reduce biodiversity, but what science shows—I mean what study and observation and data and more study and more observation and more data shows—is that indigenous land management practices can do better than Nature can on her own.

I mean, for one thing, if you don't live in a place, you don't observe it every day. You don't see how the ecosystem and its inhabitants change over time. You can't learn about it, and therefore you don't know about it.

Disconnection from nature is ignorance about nature and ultimately apathy towards nature, and that's the worst and most disrespectful thing we can do.

And like I hope it's clear that even in the imaginary scenario where everyone lives in a city, even if this was possible (it's not), the city dwellers who are separate from nature are living a silly little lie. You're part of the ecosystem. Don't like it? Go become a rock in space.

The electrical signals moving through your brain right now are rays of sunlight that were soaked up by a plant that grew in dirt. Do you know fruit? Do you enjoy fruit? I enjoy fruit, I'm drinking a smoothie right now! That fruit y'all love so much was pollinated by a bug.

A bug did that for you! Because you're family! Because you're part of this world, because you belong to this intricate and ancient community of living things that need each other, that were shaped by evolution to need each other, and nature cannot abandon you.

But more on the cynical side of things, even if you don't know where the hell a berry grows or how, someone has to grow and harvest and ship that berry to you, someone who has to live somewhere, and you should care who is doing it and how they're being treated and paid, and ultimately you should want for them the same things you want for you.

Urban life is just rural life with extra steps my friend.

Like, @ all the "put everybody in cities" crowd, what is the plan here? Fancy ass indoor aquaponics systems notwithstanding, we're not technologically at a point where we can just, like, build giant multi-story factory buildings where we grow food under special lamps, and even being at that point wouldn't make it a good idea. With all the hype about solar power, you'd think people would look at plants (have been using solar power just fine for like a billion years) and think, "Neat how those things can just make food when you stick 'em in the sunshine."

I'm sorry, I'm never going to be psyched about technological innovations that are like "We took a plant and put it inside."

There is so much I could say here. The brainrot in the wake of "cottagecore" discourse where a bunch of well meaning white people got convinced that farming was racist. The idea that rural people are somehow more complicit in colonialism than urban people, and that rural land is, I don't know, landier than urban land, and the correct and moral thing to do if you live on stolen land is to....what? Live on land that has a protective layer of concrete in between it and your racist feet?

Land ownership is a whole fucked up beast, but you're not cultivating a non-exploitative relationship with land by living in a city. There's just extra steps in between you and the land.

"Homesteading" as seen on cottagecore boards on Pinterest has a lot of white supremacist wet dream mixed in, but listen: It is not only okay, but GOOD, to want to live in close relationship with the land, with the food you eat, with the trees and plants that fill your lungs when you inhale. It's IMPORTANT. It's VITAL.

What has to change is that this relationship can't be based on ownership and dominance. Ecosystem is community and that ain't it.

My ancestors were colonizers, the land I live on right now was violently stolen, the ecosystem that once was very carefully managed so that it flourished with life was ravaged, and I don't even know the names of most of the life-forms that ought to be here. What now?

You belong to the ecosystem that takes care of you. You can't wash your hands of this and run away.

I feel like I'm getting off topic, but it's very much on topic actually. What I hope for the future is that we would stop entertaining the silly little lies that imagine we can just...opt out of participation in something that is underneath our every footstep and in our every breath. It would make us feel pure, but it wouldn't be real.

I do think that forcing people off the land that is their home is bad, in general. I don't think those people have to be indigenous for this to be bad—and successfully claiming otherwise is a bit of conundrum, since as far as I know, the political and social phenomenon of indigenous identity has a lot to do with the being forced off your land thing.

Obviously people like me don't have the same deeply central cultural relationship to the land, but the "we should all just go live in cities and leave nature to itself" proposal implies that such relationships are unnecessary or even bad.

I've said this before but I find it weird when environmentalists accommodate indigenous ways of life in their visions of the ideal future as like...a special exception granted because it's like, the nice thing to do for a historically marginalized and violently oppressed group. Not because there is value or merit in those ways of life. Like "Oh I guess indigenous people should be allowed to hunt because it's part of their culture" ????? And it's part of their culture because...why?

Maybe because it's a sustainable way of doing things and has been for millennia???

Like don't listen to me, look at the research, indigenous folks participating in ecosystems and managing them worldwide know what they're doing and the rest of the world should be looking to them as examples. Key word here is participating, because you can't competently manage an ecosystem with your head all the way up your ass with the idea that you're somehow not part of it.

Humans aren't a cancer upon the planet. It's capitalism and colonialism. It's the practice of seeing the world as a disposable resource to be exploited.

Humans lived in the place I called home for 15,000 years. Within the past 200 years, almost every forest was razed to the ground, and almost every large animal extirpated or damn near to it.

"Humans" did that! These humans are so terrible!

But I have to remember.

There are descriptions of this place from before that, and they describe a lush, teeming heaven-like paradise that the adjectives provided by English trembled to capture, so perfect and bountiful that the observers assumed this land was never tainted by Adam's sin.

Humans did that, too.

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 8

Eminem x FemReader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : Y/N reconnects with an old friend and her sobriety is seriously challenged.

Tags : Angst, Comfort, Fluff

CW : Bullying, Alcohol, Drugs, Mentions of nudity

TWO WEEKS LATER

To say you had a bad week would be an understatement. It was a terrible one : everything that could go wrong basically did, except for the moments you spent at the studio. 

As it often happened, you missed Simon terribly. You were feeling touch-starved, and you just missed being in a relationship. Granted, you had amazing friends, but it just wasn’t the same. Work wasn’t a piece of cake either. You’d had to attend several faculty events and, as was often the case in academia, almost everyone over-indulged on alcohol. You found yourself missing the days where you could party and dance the night away. You had never been much of a party-girl, but now that you were sober, you missed it sorely. You were supposed to work on your doctoral dissertation but found no motivation to work at all. 

Only three things were able to get you out of your bad mood : the few hours a week you spent at the studio, dinner time every evening with Talia and Jamal, as well as the perspective of seeing an old friend who was coming back to Detroit. 

Two weeks prior, after Marshall brought you back from the studio, you had received a text from an old friend named Cassie. She was the first person you befriended at Michigan State University, four years ago, when you were an exchange student. Your friendship was the living embodiment of “opposites attract”, as she was everything you weren’t : funny, easy-going, sociable, the life of the party. It was also a good partnership : you helped her study and she helped you socialise. She was the one who took you to some parties and showed you cool places in the city. In a way, she was a good influence : she pushed you out of your comfort zone. Whenever you were with her, you found yourself to be more bold. Unfortunately, you hadn’t seen her in a while, as she moved to another state to follow her then-fiancé, now ex-husband. Cassie had texted you to tell you she was coming back to town and that she’d love to see you. Generous as ever, she offered for you to spend a couple of days in her suite at a fancy hotel, promising you a good time and some spa. You were extremely happy to see her again. When she left, you had tried to keep in touch, but she seemed extremely busy. Now though, she was considering coming back to Michigan after a divorce and was actually in town for a job interview. 

Her offer for you to spend a couple of days with her was also a nice way to give Talia and Jamal some space. They would never admit it, but you figured they would appreciate spending some time at the house, just the two of them. There was only one drawback : Talia seemed a bit wary of Cassie. You knew she never liked her, but being the classy lady she was, she refused to drag you into their drama. She simply told you to enjoy yourself. 

On Friday night, you joined Cassie at her hotel, after she was done with her job interview. She seemed ecstatic to see you. 

Ma chériiiiiie, she shrieked as she took you in her arms. It has been so long ! 

I’m so happy to see you, you said sincerely. 

I have planned the most amazing weekend for the two of us, she said giddily. 

Really ? What do you have in mind ? 

First, we’re going to have a nice five stars dinner brought up to our room, and tomorrow, I’m taking you to the Spa, shopping and then, I was thinking we could go to a party together, she explained. 

That is a lot, Cassie…, you said. 

My treat, she assured you. Let my divorce settlement money be useful ! 

I can’t accept that. 

Of course you can ! You’ve done so much for me, baby, it’s time I paid you back a little ! Some people I know are throwing a party and you’re going to love it. 

You hummed. Cassie was a ball of energy, as always. You half expected her to be depressed because of her short marriage that just ended, but she was beaming with happiness. At dinner, she explained that she caught her husband cheating with a colleague. She got a lot of money from the divorce and was ready to move on. She had always been like this : always seeing the positive side of things. During the conversation, the talk shifted to your breakup with Simon, although you didn’t go into much detail as to why the relationship ended. Cassie was your friend but you didn’t want to either bore or worry her by talking about your struggle with pills. If you were being honest, you also didn’t want her to think poorly of you. As amazing as she was, you knew she could be a little judgy, at times. 

It’s a shame that you guys broke up, but maybe it’s better this way, she said. You can do better anyway. 

Do you really think so ? you asked as you bit your lip. 

Of course. I mean, he was great and everything, but I don’t know… You could probably do with someone a little more fun. He was always so serious, she said. 

I don’t know… I liked that about him, you said with a sigh. 

Of course you did, she continued. But I’m sure we can find you someone better. The party I’m taking you to tomorrow will be the perfect place for you to find a man. 

I don’t need to find a man, you scoffed. 

Of course you do, she giggled. It’s been months since the breakup. And knowing the good girl you are, you probably haven’t got any action since. You don’t want spider webs to grow in your vagina, now, do you ? 

You almost choked on your water. God, she could be so straightforward when it came to sex. Or any other topic, for that matter. Once again, she was the complete opposite of you. Anyway, you didn’t bother responding to her comment about the good girl you were. And you were absolutely not going to mention your movie night with Marshall. Thankfully, the conversation shifted once again to another topic. After all, the two of you had a lot of catching up to do. 

You barely got any sleep that night. Not that you weren’t tired from your week - you were actually exhausted - but you spent the whole time talking to Cassie and catching up on her life. This girl had a talent for making life seem exciting and glamorous. She always had things going on, always being the one with the most amazing stories to tell. You felt a little dull, next to her. 

The next day, you started by having a fancy breakfast in bed before she dragged you to do some shopping. The department store is where you noticed she was seriously intent on spending money. She kept on grabbing items, not even bothering to look at the price. Meanwhile, you failed to find anything. You either didn’t like it or it was out of your price range. Eventually, she decided to take matters into her own hands and initiated a makeover session with the pretext that you needed to look fancy for whatever party she wanted to take you to. Of course, it was Cassie, so you weren’t exactly surprised when she told you it would be extra. She insisted that you try on a Sandro black dress, even though you weren’t convinced. It was on the shorter side, with sequins and definitely showed a lot of skin. Not to mention that it was extremely expensive. You liked shopping and dressing up as much as the next girly girl, but you didn’t come from money, so spending $300 on a dress wasn’t something you considered. However, to her, it seemed like it was no big deal. She didn’t even blink when the sales assistant told her about the price. “We’ll take it”, she simply said, before asking for bags and shoes to match the dress. Once again, she spared no expenses. The shoes she selected for you to wear were from Jimmy Choo, costing almost $800, with a matching clutch that was just as expensive. She even went the extra mile and selected a pair of gorgeous diamond earrings to complete the outfit. She was extremely happy with the outfit. So much so that you didn’t really dare tell her that you felt ridiculous in these clothes. It was the least “you” outfit ever. “If Talia could see me, she would laugh in my face”, you thought. But at the same time, Cassie was so generous and confident that you wanted to give it a try. After all, maybe you needed to get out of your comfort zone. After the shopping spree, you went to get pampered at the hotel spa. You both got your hair done, as well as beauty treatments for the face and body. You had to admit it felt good. Plus, she seemed to enjoy giving you the princess treatment. To be fair, you also enjoyed getting it. It wasn’t every day that you could get a massage, a facial and a new hairdo. 

The both of you went back to the room to get ready for the party. You didn’t know much about it, other than the fact that Cassie was extremely excited to go. It was supposed to be held in an exclusive location, with “only the best people, food, music and drinks”. When you stepped out of the bathroom, she clapped and shrieked in excitement. 

You have never looked so sexy, Y/N !!! If I had your ass and your breast, I’d dress like that everyday ! 

You were glad she liked it, although you thought you resembled a Bratz Doll. You hardly ever wore makeup anymore, but there you were, with eyelash extensions, foundation, bold lipstick and, hell, even highlighter on your cheeks. Not to mention the outfit. “The dress is too tight, too short, and the heels are definitely too high”, you thought. 

Are we sure about the heels, Cass ? You asked nervously. I might break an ankle, here… 

You’ll be fine, she said. Plus, God knows I’m not one to criticize, but… You’re way too short to wear anything lower anyway. 

And there was the thing you liked the least about Cass : the way she would sometimes ignore your insecurities and dismiss them. Back when you were in school together, you couldn’t count the times when she would comment on your acne scars, your hair or even your weight. But she was your friend and you knew she meant well. It was her own way to care for you. She had your best interests at heart and she wanted you to be nothing but the best version of yourself. Besides, you knew that she was just as hard on herself. She was constantly under her own pressure to look good, do good and be with good people. But that was what made her thrive, so you figured that, maybe she was right. 

You look stunning and those basketball and NFL players are going to get in line to get your number, she said as she placed a strand of hair behind your ear. 

You look amazing too, you said with a shy smile. 

I know, she giggled. 

But wait… You mentioned… sports players ? Who exactly is going to be there ? Do you know them ? 

You’re getting in your head, baby, she chuckled. I know a few people. As for the others, it’s just a few friends we haven’t made yet. Anyway, I have something for you. 

She grabbed her handbag and took out a vial. 

I know how nervous you can get in social settings. This will help you relax. We are going to have the best night ever, she said with a wink. All you have to do is inhale this. 

She placed the vial in your hand and you looked at her, intrigued. 

What’s that ? You asked. Essential oils ? 

Almost, she hummed. Just trust me, ok ? 

Do you promise it’s nothing weird ? You asked as you bit your lip. 

I would never give you anything dangerous, she said as she rubbed your shoulder. You trust me, right ? 

You nodded with a smile. Of course you trusted her. 

Now, let’s have a glass of champagne, just the two of us before leaving, ok ? We didn't even toast to our reunion last night !!! 

I shouldn’t drink, you said as you avoided her gaze. I’ll have water but go ahead. 

Don’t be a boring, Y/N, she giggled. God, you can be such a dud sometimes. One glass, it won’t kill you. I’m going out of my way for you to have a great time, here. 

You felt your heart strain. You didn’t want to be ungrateful. After all, she was more than generous to you and she did go out of her way for you to have a memorable weekend. You didn’t want her to think you were a dud. Besides… One glass of champagne was ok, right ? It wasn’t as if she was handing you some pills or offering for you to snort cocaine in her hotel room. Plus, it was Cassie, of all people. You took a deep breath and sighed. 

Right. I’m sorry. Champagne sounds lovely, you said. 

She smiled and ordered champagne from room service. When it came, it wasn’t just two glasses : it was a whole bottle. Cassie laughed it off. You had your first sip of alcohol in months. You were never a huge drinker, but you had to admit you sort of missed it. You made small talk as you sipped on your glass and she told you that one of her motives to go to the party was to see a guy she had a small crush on. Some Pistons player, apparently. This made you smile. Cassie had always been quite the seductress, even though she got engaged and married quite young. She was the flirty type, even with you. This was part of her persona, and people were here for it. She was the very definition of irresistible. The girl you befriended, that you knew you could never be. You knew there was nothing wrong with you and, most of the time, you were ok with who you were. As years went by, you had come to appreciate being the rather shy, sometimes dorky girl next door who could be seen as quite cute when she made an effort. You would never be an ethereal beauty like Cassie and you were fine with it. Before you knew it, you were on your third glass of champagne. 

We’d better go, you said with a giggle. I’m on my third glass already. 

You’re right, we’ll have plenty of bubbles to drink when we get to the party anyway, she said. 

Not quite what I meant, Cass… 

Just enjoy the evening, baby ! Now, time for you to use that vial. Just put it close to your nostril and sniff, ok ? she directed. 

You nodded and did as she said. After you were done, she did the same. Less than a minute later, you were filled with a sensation of euphoria and relaxation. 

I don’t know what it is, but this is the shit ! You giggled. 

I know right ? If you feel anxious, just do that again. I promise, you will have a great time ! 

A car took you to the party. It was definitely a fancy event. You didn’t know anyone, but Cassie did, and she introduced you to some people. You ended up discreetly sniffing the magic vial a couple of times, taking some time to relax. Before you knew it, you were standing alone as your friend was in deep conversation with a handsome gentleman who, you guessed, was her crush. 

I can’t believe such a beautiful woman is standing here without a drink, a man said as he placed a glass of champagne in your hand. 

Thank you, you giggled. 

The stranger was quite handsome. He was tall, blonde, with gorgeous hazel eyes. He was dressed in a tux and arbored a charming smile. At that point, you were just a little tipsy and definitely relaxed. You greeted him with a smile and thanked him for the drink. 

May I say you look absolutely stunning, he complimented you. That’s quite an outfit.

Thank you, you said with a smile. You don’t look too bad either. 

I don’t believe we’ve been introduced, yet. I am Jared. 

Nice to meet you, Jared. I’m Y/N, you said as you extended your hand. 

You expected him to shake it but he took you by surprise by kissing it, which made you all giddy. You made small talk and he told you he actually played for the Detroit Lions, taking no offense when you confessed that you had no idea who he was, and that you didn’t watch a lot of football. 

So, what brings you to this fundraiser for the Detroit Sports Teams ? he asked. 

Oh, is that what the event is ? you chuckled. I had no idea. Actually, my friend Cassie brought me here. I was promised champagne and a great time. 

I’ll be honest with you, this fundraiser is mostly an excuse for people to drink and dance, he said as he winked. 

You chortled and kept on talking to him. He was easy-going and very sociable. You could tell he was flirting with you and you liked it. It was very flattering to have such a handsome man take an interest in you. You also began to feel more confident in the outfit Cassie had chosen for you. Some people joined the conversation. Apparently, they also played for the football team. All of these men were good-looking and you found yourself considering getting a season ticket for the games. You would have been more interested in sports if you’d known how great the players looked. Eventually, the conversation turned to sports and you took it as your cue to leave, figuring that if Jared wanted to talk some more, he’d find you in the crowd. You sniffed the vial again and found Cassie. People were starting to dance and she dragged you to the dance floor. Had you been completely sober, she wouldn’t have had a chance, but you were far from it now. Whatever potion she had you inhaling was working its wonders when it came to deprive you of your inhibitions. You were more confident in your moves than ever and you danced with her. The both of you were soon swarmed by an army of suitors and you gladly obliged them when they offered to dance. You were having a great time and it was the magic of Cassie : she managed to turn you into a lovable, sociable creature. Hell, you even gave your number to Jared who had found you on the dancefloor and begged for a dance. He promised to call but, unfortunately, he had to leave. You were having yet another drink and talked to Cassie when her face suddenly changed. 

Holy shit. How do I look ?! she asked. 

You look gorgeous, as always, you giggled. Why ? Is your crush here ? 

Better, she grinned. Look, it’s Eminem !!! 

You turned your head in a dramatic move and saw Marshall talking to a couple of people. He was wearing black jeans, sneakers, a black tee-shirt and the Saint Laurent jacket you liked so much. Far from the tuxedos some men were wearing, but definitely an improvement compared to some of his daily outfits and usual sweatpants. As always, you thought he looked amazing. You were shocked, though. He was the last person you expected to see here. 

He is even hotter in person, she squealed. I have to introduce myself. Come with me, she said as she dragged you across the room. 

Your heart was pounding but you didn’t have time to protest. He saw you arrive, hand in hand with Cassie and his eyes seemed to widen, not that you could be so sure because, at this point, you were drunk. But thankfully, you were also too relaxed to care, thanks to the stuff you had kept on inhaling. 

Hey, Y/N, he said as he gave you a quick hug, looking suspicious. 

Hey handsome, Cassie said seductively. I didn’t realize you knew our beautiful friend here. I’m Cassie. 

Hi Cassie, he said as he politely shook the hand she extended. Yeah, I know Y/N. 

“Or at least, I think I do.”, he added in a lower voice, still staring at you. You smiled at him but his comment left you puzzled. Of course he knew you. You were friends. Why would he say that ? You looked at him as Cassie talked to him, complimenting his music and telling him how insanely talented she thought he was, though you couldn’t remember her listening to hip-hop. Ever. 

Now that I know that you know Y/N, we simply have to hang out. Don’t we, ma chérie ? she said. 

Of course, you said shyly - somewhat uncomfortable that your friend was flirting with your Marshall.

Sure, he said with a blank face. 

I have to go to the bathroom, she said. Y/N, hold my glass, will you ? 

She quickly disappeared and you were left alone with him. You smiled shyly. 

I didn’t know you’d be here, you said in an attempt to make small talk. 

I didn’t know you would be here, he replied. What are you doing here ? 

Same as you, I guess, you giggled. 

I’m here for work, he clarified. 

Oh well, I’m not, you shrugged with a smile. Cassie took me here. By the way… She thinks you’re hot. 

You weren't too sure why you were telling him that. Probably because you did not have much inhibitions anymore. You couldn’t help but chortle at the absurdity of the situation. 

Good for her. Now… Care to explain why you’re clearly drunk and dressed like a ho !? He groaned. 

You opened your mouth to reply but found yourself unable to say anything. Did he just insult you ?! You were about to retort something when Cassie returned from the bathroom. 

Now, Marshall, she said as she took her glass from your hand without even glancing at you, I happen to be free for a dance. 

Yeah, he said. I…

He was cut by someone who came to him before he could even continue. You were still a bit stunned. Cassie, however, shrugged off and took you to the dance floor. 

You’ll have to get him to call me, she giggled as she resumed dancing. 

Y-Yeah, you said, still a bit stunned. 

Dance with me, baby, she said as she took your glass and placed it on a table. 

She took your hand and you soon forgot about Marshall’s insult. You were rolling your hips to the beat of the music. A man placed a hand on your waist and danced with you. It was very sensual and you found yourself a bit giddy and turned on, not too sure why. Cassie was doing the same with another man. At that moment, your soul had left your body. Or maybe you just experienced being raw and free for the first time in forever ? It felt like you were on fire. Cassie gestured for you to come closer. 

You’re having a great time, she laughed. Look at you, all sexy ! 

I feel great, you giggled. I’m super horny, too. 

That’s the poppers, she chuckled. Wanna drive them crazy ? 

Poppers ? Is that what she gave you ? Before you knew it, she was kissing you. You were a bit taken aback but returned the kiss anyway. You liked women as much as men, for sure, but you had never thought of your friend like that. Yet, you found yourself kissing back, because you just felt like it. You were turned on, having a great time, and she was gorgeous, so why not make out with her ? You were laughing as you broke the kiss. Before you knew it, the guy you were dancing with was kissing you. You giggled as you danced with him some more. You had never felt more beautiful and desirable. Your thoughts were interrupted when someone in the crowd grabbed your wrist. Marshall. He didn’t look too happy. 

Come with me, he said firmly. 

Not a chance, you giggled. I’m dancing here. 

No shit, he groaned. Just come, Y/N. 

So that you can insult me again ? I hardly think so, Em, you said as you rolled your eyes. 

That’s not a fucking question, he groaned on your ear as he pulled you closer to him. 

Before you could protest, he was holding your hand, walking you out. Cassie followed you. 

Where are the two of you going ? She asked. 

I’m taking her home, Marshall said curtly. 

Oh… then why don’t you take us both home ? She offered with her seductive signature smile. 

You were stunned and you looked at the two of them. Was she offering… a threesome ?! Your eyes were wide open wide and you felt like a deer in headlights. 

She needs to sleep, Marshall said. 

I’m fine, you groaned as he shot you a death glare. 

Whatever, Cassie said. We can figure out who does what when we get to your place, she added with a wink. 

Oh, I have it all figured out, he assured her. I’m taking Y/N home. You can catch a ride to… wherever it is that you’re going. 

You were about to say something but the room was starting to spin and you almost lost your balance. The heels were definitely too high. 

Careful there, Marshall said as he placed a hand on your waist to secure you. Come on, I’ll take you home. 

Whatever, Cassie sighed. Call me tomorrow, chérie ? 

You nodded and walked out as Marshall was holding you firmly by the hand. The cold, fresh air made you shiver and he sighed before placing his jacket over your shoulders. 

I think someone’s following us, you slurred. 

Yeah, that’s my security, he groaned. Look down, now. 

What ? You asked, a bit lost. 

Fuck. Just look down, he repeated in an annoyed tone. 

You did, as you thought that maybe he was going to show you something, but you saw a flash from afar. Someone was snapping pictures as you got out of the event. Your head was still ducked as Marshall led you to a van that was waiting. He helped you get in before entering the car as well, followed by the two security guards. You felt insanely small, as they were huge and took a lot of space in the car. He told the driver to go to his place. 

You’re not taking me home ? You asked. 

I’m taking you where I can keep an eye on you, he grunted. 

That’s totally unnecessary, you said blurringly as you rolled your eyes. 

That wasn’t a question. 

You sighed and looked outside the window. You threw a glance at Marshall, who was fuming, his fist clenched into a ball. Your head was still turning and you didn’t feel too good. 

I need to get out of here, you mumbled. Can you stop the car ?! 

Will you just shut up for one fucking second ?! He snapped. 

I’m gonna puke. 

Shit. Stop the car now, Marshall said to the driver. 

Immediately, the vehicle piled and you hit your head on the window. One of the bodyguards opened the door and you ran outside before puking on the side of the road. Marshall followed you and stood next to you. You were doubled up as he held your hair. When you finally stopped puking, you looked at him with teary eyes. 

I’m sorry, you mumbled. 

He rolled his eyes and shook his head before leading you back to the car. 

Do you hate me ? You whispered. 

No, he groaned. We’ll talk about it when we get home, alright ? 

God, my head hurts, you croaked. 

He sighed and gently pulled you so that your head rested on his shoulder. 

There.

Thank you, you whispered. 

The rest of the drive was silent and you were almost asleep by the time the car dropped you at Marshall’s place. 

Can you walk ? He asked. 

You nodded and took a few steps but almost collapsed. These damn heels had you feeling like a baby giraffe taking its first steps. 

Come here, he sighed before carrying you bridal-style. 

As you walked through the door, he carried you upstairs to a bathroom. 

You need to shower, ok ? There’s a bit of barf on your dress… 

Ok, you muttered. Marshall, I-I’m sorry. 

You were on the verge of tears and your bottom lip was quivering. His look softened a bit. 

You can barely stand so I’ll help you with the shower and the undressing, is that alright with you ? 

You nodded. He made you sit on the floor before helping you undress. You grunted as he freed your feet from the shoes. He fumbled with the zipper of your dress, which was apparently stuck. 

Fuckin’ zipper, he muttered. I should cut this thing. 

Don’t, you whined. It’s new. 

He groaned as he finally managed to unzip you. You were finally naked on the cold floor of the bathroom. The dress didn’t allow you to wear any underwear. You noticed his surprise, but he didn’t comment. In any other circumstance, you would have felt embarrassed, but you were too drunk to care. You were actually thankful he was able to help you get out of these clothes, as you wouldn’t be able to undress on your own.

Alright, now let’s get you to the shower, he said softly. 

You nodded and tried to stand. Although it was easier without the heels, you weren’t too secure. He helped you stand and led you to the shower. 

I’m going to take my clothes off. It’ll be easier. Are you ok with that ? 

You nodded silently, not really daring to look at him. As minutes went by, you were feeling more and more ashamed of yourself. 

Hold still. Don’t fall, he directed before taking his clothes off, staying in his boxers. 

He went back to you and held you firmly so that you wouldn’t fall before turning on the shower. The water was flowing on your bodies. You tried your best not to fall but Marshall had to hold you with one hand while helping you wash with the other. 

Fuck it, he grunted as he turned off the water. I’ll just draw a bath, ok ? 

He drew a bath and helped you settle in the huge bathtub. 

Are you alright ? He asked gently, concern all over his face. 

You hummed and he started to wash your back. 

You’re not getting in ? You asked. 

Don’t worry about me, he said. Try not to drown, alright ?

I’m just saying, you might as well get in. You’re all wet already. 

He shrugged and finally joined you in the bathtub, settling right behind you so that you rested between his legs, while holding you tight so you wouldn't slip.

You know you could have taken your boxers off, right ? 

We’re not doing that, he sighed. 

Just saying… I know what your dick looks like, anyway. 

He scoffed softly and resumed helping you wash. It was actually easier now that you were in the bathtub. 

Marshall ? 

Mmmh ? 

Do you hate me ? You asked under your breath. 

Yes. I loathe you. That’s why I’m taking care of you right now, isn’t that obvious ? He asked sarcastically. Of course I don’t hate you, Y/N. Why do you even ask that ? 

You said I was a whore. 

I didn’t say that. I said you were dressed like a ho, he corrected. 

You turned your head to look at him. 

What ? You’re going to deny it ? He asked with an eyeroll. You weren’t even wearing a fucking thong. 

That’s mean, you said. You can’t wear underwear with that kind of dress. Otherwise, it shows. 

Oh so that’s what makes it not a ho-dress ? He mused as he lathered your arm with soap. My bad, sorry. You definitely looked like a nun, then. 

You rolled your eyes. 

Why were you even wearing this thing ? He asked. 

Cassie said it looked good, you shrugged. I mean, obviously, you disagree, but… 

Never said so, he said. 

You said I looked like a ho !  

Once again… no one said hoes can’t look good, he chuckled. I mean… you sort of have to, if you’re a ho, I guess ? Otherwise you’re not a very good one. 

You let out a drunken giggle. 

So you think I looked good ? You asked. 

Yeah, the prettiest ho I’ve ever seen, he grinned. It’s just… it doesn’t look like you, you know ? 

Maybe it should look like me, you shrugged. 

What the hell do you mean ? 

I look better like this, you said. 

Nope, he replied as he shook his head. You don’t. 

You don’t think so ? 

I think you’re beautiful as is, and that you don’t need to look like a whore, a ho or whatever. Or to act like one, for that matter, he said. 

Hey ! 

He shrugged as he stared at you. 

Was I acting like a ho ? You asked sheepishly, suddenly unsure about the whole evening. 

I don’t know. I guess, sort of, he said. Seriously, though…What was with all the kissing and grinding like you were in heat ? 

I don’t know, you admitted. Cassie gave me that vial to sniff. It made me all light and happy and…horny. 

Seriously ? Poppers ?! He sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. 

You swallowed dryly. 

She told me it wasn’t a big deal, you said. 

Let me guess, this genius is also the one who convinced you to have a drink ? 

… yes, you admitted. 

He groaned and shook his head. You looked down in embarrassment. 

I just wanted to have a good time, you said sheepishly. 

Yeah, because breaking your sobriety and making out with people is the only way to do that, right…? 

The comment about how you had failed to stay sober caused you to break into tears. 

I’m sorry, you murmured as you sobbed. I… I thought it wouldn’t count ? 

What ? He asked, confused. 

I mean, I figured that, it’s not pills, you explained as you kept sobbing. 

That’s not how sobriety works, Y/N, he said as he shook his head. You know better than that.

Tears kept on flowing. It felt like you would never stop crying. 

I fucked up. Everything. I’m a failure. I’m so sorry, you cried. 

Come here, he said as he pulled you in his arms. 

He held you and you rested your head in the crook of his neck, as you kept on crying. After a few minutes, you managed to calm down. 

Better now ? He asked. 

Yes. I’m sorry, you muttered. 

It’s ok to cry, he said as he stroked your hair. Now let’s get you dressed, ok ? I don’t want you to be cold. 

He got out of the bathtub first and helped you up. You were a bit more level-headed and managed to stand up. He wrapped you in a towel and told you not to move before disappearing for a minute, coming back wearing sweatpants. 

Put these on, he said as he gave you some clothes of his to wear. Let’s get ready for bed, ok ? 

You’re not taking me home ? You asked as you yawned. 

It’s late and Talia and Jamal are either asleep or having sex, he shrugged. So I don’t think we should disturb. Plus, you’re still shit-faced so I should keep an eye on you. 

You nodded and got dressed. His clothes were comfy. You also enjoyed the smell of his detergent - it was a smell you associated with him. You looked at yourself in the mirror. 

I look like a house elf in your tee-shirt, you pointed out. 

Come on Dobby, he chuckled as he shook his head. To bed, now. 

I can’t sleep in my makeup, you said. Do you have anything I could use to remove it ? 

He opened the cabinet door and managed to find some makeup removing wipes. You were wearing so much makeup that it took a while for you to take it off. 

You don’t need to use that much makeup, he pointed out. You look better without it anyway. 

I hate wearing it, you confessed. 

So… why the fuck do you look like a stolen car that’s been painted over ? 

I don’t know. I wanted to look pretty. Cassie convinced me.  I mean, I know I’ll never look as good as her, but… 

That’s true, he said. 

He looked at you and inspected your face, his fingers tracing your cheeks. 

You look better than her, he added. 

You felt yourself blush. You could tell he was being honest. It was the first time anyone ever mentioned that you looked better than Cassie. 

You don’t think she’s pretty ? You asked. 

Nah, she looks good, for sure, he said. But she looks too… whatever. Doesn’t matter anyway. 

It kind of does, though, you replied. 

Why is that ? 

She likes you. 

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. 

No she doesn’t, he said matter-of-factly. 

She thinks you’re hot and she wants you to call her, you replied. 

She likes Eminem, he explained. She has no idea who I am. I know she’s your friend and shit, but she basically threw herself at me, just because I’m famous. If I’d been a random guy, I’m not even sure she would have given me the time of day. 

You’d still be hot, you pointed out. 

He shook his head with a smile. 

Doesn’t matter, he said softly. I’m used to it, you know ? I can tell this type of thing from a mile away. Not to mention she was ready to drag her drunk friend into a threesome… 

It’s probably a misunderstanding, you said to defend her. I mean, she’s my friend, she wouldn’t… 

I know it sucks to hear it, Y/N, but you became an afterthought for this girl as soon as she saw a possibility to suck my dick. That’s not what friends do. 

He sighed and rubbed your shoulder. 

Also, friends don’t give their sober friends poppers and champagne, he pointed out. 

To be fair she didn’t know I was sober, you said. I didn’t have the heart to explain that to her… I guess it’s my fault. 

He hummed and shrugged. 

We’ll talk about that tomorrow. I’m tired, you’re exhausted, and it’s time for bed, he said. 

You almost giggled when you heard the unintentional rhyme. He led you to the adjacent guest bedroom. You felt a bit sobered-up but he was right, you were exhausted. You settled under the covers as he sat next to you. 

Thank you Marshall, you said as you stared into his blue eyes. 

Oh so you’re calling me Marshall now ? He said with a grin. 

Well, that’s your name, you said confused. 

You called me Em, at the party, he said. 

Well people also call you that, you pointed out. 

You don’t. 

You shrugged. 

Yeah, so ? 

I don’t like it, he said. Not in your mouth. It doesn’t feel right. I don’t mind about the others, but… For you, it’s Marshall. 

Ok, you chuckled. I won’t call you Em if you don’t call me a hoe or piss me off, then. 

Deal, he said with a smile. 

Marshall ? You asked. 

Yes ? 

Can I have a hug ? 

He simply nodded and took you in his arms. 

What am I supposed to do now ? You asked. About this whole sober thing ? 

For now, just sleep, Y/N. We’ll talk about it tomorrow. When you’re completely sobered-up and well-rested, ok ? 

You nodded, thanked him and closed your eyes. You felt his fingers in your hair, gently stroking your scalp. It was all you needed to fall asleep.

[aangarchy]

Netflix atla live action review ep 1-3

So i was able to watch the first three episodes and i wrote down some thoughts. Strap yourselves in, it's gonna be a big post. There's a lot i don't like, but it's not all negative. So let's get the negative out of the way first, then we'll get to the positive.

The cgi is abhorrent. Especially the green screen stuff where a lot of movement is happening. I'm specifically referring to the scenes of Katara and Sokka in the canoe as well as the Omashu railing system, and anytime Aang is flying on his glider. The bending may be better than the original live action, but it's not good either. Bending for me was always gonna be impossible in live action. I never feel like there's any connection between the moves the actor is making and the cgi element. In animation it's much easier to make the two connect, but an actor is basically staring at nothing and moving their hands around a bunch, hoping post will make it look good. This show also fell prey to the "ball of water is consistently losing water and yet remains the same shape and size" trap. I think out of all the elements the airbending looks the best and the earthbending so far the worst. The Avatar state looked very janky as well, some shots looked like there wasn't even an actor there anymore and it was all animated. And not animated in a good way either, some of the movements were way to wobbly, reminding me of that weird broom flying cgi in the first harry potter movie where the character is flopping about awkwardly bc it's badly animated. The animals also look pretty weird to me, i can barely tell where Appa's face is most of the time. Also for some reason they have momo making monkey noises instead of lemur noises? Like he legit sounds like a chimpanzee? I wonder what that's about.

The costumes are very hit or miss. They're very bright and i've often seen them fit awkwardly on the actors. Suki's headband was practically sliding off of her head while doing a fight scene, and in Omashu an extra's headscarf literally slid off of her head as she walked out of frame. Don't even mention Bumi to me either, that guy looks absolutely insane to me and i mean that negative. I can't suspend my disbelief enough to pretend that's a real guy. I liked Suki's makeup however, and i really like how they did Katara's hair and outfit. We got our first glance at Ty Lee and Mai too, and i like that Ty Lee is basically a carbon copy of her cartoon outfit.

Some story choices are.... interesting. Some of them, i'm not sure whether i like them or not yet. I'm confused as to why they combined three different stories into the Omashu storyline. We have Bumi, Teo and the Mechanist, as well as Jet all piled up in the same city, and somehow Zuko is there as well. The Jet story happened way too quickly, and i'm confused as to why Sokka was so upset at Jet's betrayal when he hadn't even spoken to the guy at all, he didn't even know his name. I don't like the choice of having everyone split up in Omashu. There was a lot of focus on Katara and Sokka and Aang barely appeared. I will say i really loved the no bending fight Aang and Zuko had in Omashu. Such a shame that their choreography barely got any time to shine due to the fight scenes being edited like marvel movies to hide mistakes. This has me excited for the blue spirit episode though!

I don't like the way they revealed that Aang is the Avatar in the watertribe. Why is Gran Gran the one that immediately knows? Just bc she's old? I liked that Aang revealed it himself in the original, but in this one it's just Gran Gran telling everyone who he is and Sokka not even believing her.

Then there's the opening for the first episode. I have very mixed feelings. I like that they showed the bond between Gyatso and Aang, and i liked the way they switched between Gyatso's last stand and Aang falling into the water. I'm sticking to my guns however with saying that we didn't need to see the attack on the airtemples play out. I liked it being this mysterious event that happened so long ago it's become legend to anyone alive today. But now, as a viewer, we have more information than our main characters. It also took away from the emotional turmoil of Aang finding Gyatso's skeleton. In the original, there's still this slimmer of hope, are they really dead? Could some still be alive? Only for it to be ripped away then and there. Now the audience already knows Gyatso is dead, we know what Aang is about to find. They also didn't really linger on Aang's emotions after this, like at all? He buried Gyatso and basically went "alright where to next?"

There also seems to be a lot less bonding time, making the relationship between the characters in episode 1 and 2 very weird. Katara and Aang barely had one conversation in the first episode, and Katara was already talking about Aang changing her life and helping improve her bending after only one day. It feels very weird and forced. It gets better by episode 3, but it was definitely bad in the first two.

I'm gonna say it again but i'm mad about Sokka's sexism arc disappearing. Suki was angry at Sokka for just comparing her skills as a warrior to him, when she hadn't even seen him fight yet. She also starts out as being weirdly enchanted by Sokka just bc he's an outsider. He's not even attractive at all, and they're trying to sell him as some sort of heartthrob. I like their bonding time while they trained, but i don't like how immediately Sokka is hung up on her. He still needs to meet Yue, and idk about you but to me it would be weird for him to already like one girl, and suddenly jump to the next.

I'm not sure why Kyoshi is being Aang's main Avatar guide here? I always figured it should be the Avatar right before you that would do the job, so why did Kyoshi get to Aang before Roku? And why did she already give Aang the speech about saving the world? What else is Roku gonna do? I know we get the Hei Bai story in this show, so what's the point of the Hei Bai story when it doesn't lead to Roku's dragon coming to Aang to warn him about the comet? I'm not mad at this btw, genuinely just confused. I don't understand the point yet.

Onto the acting, once again very hit or miss. So far Gordon (Aang) has been one of the best. He's a very good representation of Aang's character, and i like that he brought out Aang's sassier side right away. Kiawentiio (Katara) so far has been really good too, and i like her chemistry with Gordon. I was prepared for Ian (Sokka) to be much worse than he ended up being, and a lot of jokes in the first episode did end up landing for me. Unfortunately the opposite is true for Dallas (Zuko), i was expecting his performance to be better than what it ended up being. It's not bad per se, but definitely less refined than i was hoping. Same for Paul (Iroh). I don't like the way he delivers some lines at all (especially the Jasmine Tea lines, it's way too forced, i don't actually believe he likes jasmine tea rn. In the original uncle barely mentions which tea he's drinking, and only once asks for jasmine tea bc it's his favorite. Otherwise he always just says "cup of tea" and never mentions the flavor. Idk why but the emphasis on jasmine tea really bothered me lol). I really liked Azula so far. Elizabeth brought a very cutthroat energy, which is precisely what i'd expect from a character like Azula. Daniel Dae Kim was also just everything i was hoping for and more. I'm hoping to see more of him (for his acting... no other reason.......)

Idk why but i was elated at seeing the cabbage merchant and hearing him say the line. Best moment of the whole show so far (and that's saying a lot i think lmao).

The music is very good. Some of the placement of the more dramatic music is a bit awkward? Like moments that i feel should have a low quiet melody seem to have a more dramatic flow which makes the scene lose emotional value to me. Maybe that's just my preference though. I like the nods to the original music throughout the show, especially for Kyoshi, the fire nation theme as well as the avatar theme, and then the exact same credits music as the original. I love the more epic/dramatic version of the avatar theme.

Overall, i am enjoying myself. I wasn't expecting greatness from this adaptation, and so far i'm remaining kind of neutral i think. It's not absolutely horrible, and i'm not cringing every five seconds. Of course it's never gonna compare to the beauty of the original animation. That's always going to remain untouchable to me. And this adaptation obviously does not come close at all. But it's fun, i guess, so i'm gonna keep watching.

[guplia]

Hello anon! First of all, thanks for the ask! (asks? idk I received three anon asks at almost the same time, it would be weird if they didn't all come from the same person lol)

fix recommendations? read mine /hj Sure! Just note that while I've enjoyed a lot of wips, I'm only gonna recommend completed fics rn.

Okay! Here's all I can remember rn:

"Clouds" by youngmoInactive (fanfiction.net):

Original summary:

"Even though he's a hero, he's still a human. CONTAINS CHARACTER DEATH. A nice look into Kai's perspective as he watches a close friend slowly lose a fight for his life."

Okay all I've gotta say on this one is that IT MADE ME CRY. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Obviously I can't speak for everyone who read this fic but I think this will hurt Lloyd lovers. I have re-read it so many times to the point where I have half the fic memorised word-by-word. This is a must-read.

(if you're on the phone it's better to add "m." To the start of the URL)

"a day in the life of a fatherless child" by holographicknife (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"lloyd has a panic attack *confetti* title suggested by my friend lol loosely based on a crack rp between friend and i   Warning for: mentions of suicidal thoughts and medication, explicit descriptions of a panic attack, including tight chest, difficulty breathing, nausea, and headaches. Proceed with caution."

This is a Kai And Lloyd fic, and I love Kai And Lloyd fics! Specifically ones where they address Lloyd's trauma from Morro and where Kai comforts him. So if anyone's into this sort of stuff I'd recommend it!

"A Courageous Escape" by Lilac_Lily234 (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"In the midst of possession Morro hatred flows freely as he seeks to make Lloyd suffer for taking what he believes as his rightful title, but his cruelty know no bounds; Lloyd however refuses to give up but knows that time is running out, and in his desperation will find either salvation, or death.  - I don't own Ninjago, this is an au"

Ahem... once again, Lloyd goes through pain. A season 5 canon-divergent AU, from which my favourite part was... you guessed it! Lloyd having a panic attack and being comforted! But it's still a cool story besides too, season 5 being one of the best seasons imo.

While this fic is finished, the AU is not but I think this one has a good ending on its own.

"Out for revenge" by lloyd_slander (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Harumi’s plan to resurrect Lord Garmadon failed, during her time in Kryptarium prison she heard about Morro, the master of wind, and guy who had managed to make Lloyd’s life a living hell. Wanting revenge, she doesn’t stop from anything, not even from getting Morro back from the dead. Or The duo we always wanted, but never got. Lloyd is in for a hard time. Head the tags, guys!"

Okay. This one is rated Mature for drug usage and blood (there was nothing sexual though)

So it's a Morro traumatising Lloyd fic again, but this time he's with Harumi! So it's double trouble for Lloyd! (things go VERY BAD for him >:3)

Honestly I can't say much except read the fic, the summary's right there lol.

"Revealed" by Nation_Ustria (Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Lloyd Garmadon is used to being hated. That's just how his life works—if someone knows that he's the son of the warlord who attacks Ninjago City on a weekly basis, they hate his guts. That's why he's made sure that his team—the only people he's ever been happy with—don't know who he is behind the mask, with the small price attached that he doesn't know their identities, either. It's not like they know each other's, anyways, so it's not a big deal. But then they find out. The fact that Lloyd's elemental power makes him an empath doesn't help, either. Basically the premise of the movie pre-reveal with show elements and personalities, and Lloyd's Green Power is him being able to sense and be influenced by the emotions of those around him."

Okay so here's a fic without Morro! (that's cause it's in the movie-verse) Another type of fanfic I like reading is where Lloyd in tlnm keeps his identity secret from the other ninja and it ends up getting revealed (like this one.).

I've seen this fic being recommended more than once and it's one of the fics with the most kudos in the entire fandom on AO3! So 2000 others agree with me on how awesome this fic is!!!

"What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger" by @crystaleclipse10 (CrystalEclipse on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Lloyd batted Red's hand away. “’m fine.” His head pounded, but at least it was quiet and dark. His hair tickled his nose. “What happened?” “We…didn’t get out in time,” Red whispered. “The missile exploded. We got everyone else out, though.” Lloyd relaxed and slumped forward as pure relief washed over him. They’d done it. They’d beaten Garmadon’s game. They’d freed the civilians and survived. Didn’t feel great, though. ~OR~ Lloyd and Kai get trapped under a building when it collapses, both injured. Angst and bonding ensue."

So it's another tlnm au fic! And this one has Kai And Lloyd bonding specific so I like it!!!

As I was reading this when it was still being updated I was very excited every time a new chapter would come out and my heart hurt for Lloyd each time! It IS worth the read! Just note that while tis fic is completed, the au is not.

"Officer Smith, Do You Copy?" by @hijabiwriter (same username on Archive of Our Own):

Original summary:

"Everyone has their reasons for becoming a police officer. Maybe they were forced. Maybe the profession stood out to them. Maybe they had some experience that prompted the idea of becoming a police officer. But that's only a few reasons. There are others, too. Like for instance, one of these officers is out for revenge."

This fic is entered around Nya, who's a police officer alongside Jay, Cole and Lloyd (for some reason Zane is not in this au/fic). Anyways her dark secrets are explored in every other chapter alongside the progressing story, and of course, an explanation is given to everything in the end.

On a personal note this is the fic where I left my first comment on my Ao3 account lol (the historic moment is on chapter 13!!!)

"Too Late to Say Goodbye" by @greenamethyst16 (same username on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Kai gets stabbed and Lloyd helps him... :D"

I think length-wise this is the shortest fic on the list but that doesn't make it bad!!! Basically Lloyd downplays his injuries and there are consequences... :D

"All the ways I say "I love you"" by @ninja-knox-ur-sox-off (Leonardo_Charles_BlueWood_21 on Archive of Our Own)

Original summary:

"Cole loves his team. They're his family and he does everything in his power to keep them safe and steady. He does his best to let them know he cares about them in every way but one.  Or  Seven times Cole couldn't quite say "I love you," and the one time he could."

Note: This story can only be read if you're logged in on AO3.

I like this fic because it encouraged me to remind my own irl friends how much they mean to me. In this story Cole believes that he's "the rock" of the team, and hence he doesn't show his emotions much. He's never told even one of them that he loves them and thinks that they deserve better than him. So stuff happens after that :D

Okay, I've read a lot more than this but this is all I'm gonna write about now cause I'm tired and I think this post has became too long. But if you wanna read more just check out the profiles of the writers! I haven't read everything myself but most of them have other good Ninjago fics to read!

If I've tagged you or mentioned your fic and you want it removed just let me know! I have no problem with removing it! :D

[wolverineluvr]

Soft yandere David x reader

TW: Slight angst, ooc David probably, size+strength difference, a few uses of Y/N, after time skip, stalking, fem!reader.

WC: 1.2k

You were practically rushing around this morning, in a hurry because you have a job interview. You woke up late, had to make breakfast for your little sister, bring her to school, and now, it's finally after the interview. You hope you got it. You already work as a bartender, but it's just not enough to provide. Especially now that your rent has been raised.

As you walk, spaced out and thinking, you bump into someone. You freeze and look up from the ground, and you have to crane your head to look at the man. Your heart practically stops in your chest. The guy is, to say the least, huge. And you don't live in the best place, though practically none of Night City is necessarily "the best". You're terrified. The man looks tired and annoyed, his eyes are narrowed and his eyebrows are furrowed as he looks down at you.

"I-I'm so sorry." You choke out, quickly backing up from the man. His expression stays the same for a minute, before it softens. "Nah, it's good. We both should've watched where we were going." The man says, smiling a little. "Um..yea. Thank you." You reply. You thought he was going to be livid and have a much, much, worse reaction than he really did.

The man just smiles a little more and holds out his hand for a handshake. You hesitate at first, but take his hand and slightly shake it. Your hand is miniature compared to his. "I'm David." The man, who is now known as David, states. "Oh um..I'm Y/N." You clear your throat as you utter, but David just nods. "Nice name. Well I gotta go so, I'll see you around?" David lets go of your hand and begins to walk past you, turning his head back a little to hear your response. "U-Uh..Yeah." You murmur, and David smiles as he walks off.

David was right, only he sees you a lot more than you see him. He excuses his actions with the thought that, well, Night City is dangerous. He's just making sure you're okay. There's no harm to it. He just needs to protect you. You have no cyberware, he assumes you couldn't afford it even if you wanted to, do you want cyberware? Is that little girl your kid? If so, how young were you when you got pregnant? What's the girls name? He's sure she needs a father figure in her life, right?

The next time you bump into David was a few weeks later, he smiled down at you and asked if you wanted him to help you home. It was pretty late. And he doesn't seem like a bad guy, but you didn't say yes. You barely know him! David jusr smiled and nodded. He gets it. If he was in your position he wouldn't have said yes either. But still, he followed you after you left, making sure you didn't realize he was there. He doesn't want to call it stalking, he's just making sure you're okay, but yeah, he basically stalks you.

Eventually, after a few months of purposefully bumping into you, the dates not too far apart but not too close either, you considered David a friend. You started planning some hangouts if you had some free time. He learned that the girl, Nana, is in fact not your daughter, and she's 7. You brought Nana with you when David invited you somewhere or vice versa, and she was shy at first, but she grew to like David.

David was with you while you worked every now and then, just stared at you as you poured a shot of liquor for a customer. David walked you home after your shift ended, 12am. You offered to let him stay, and so he is. You don't have an extra bedroom in your apartment, and you know the couch isn't very comfortable, so you added that he could sleep on your bed if he wanted. He was ecstatic. Up until he realized that, 1, you'd be sleeping on the couch and 2, your bed nor your couch allows him to lay down comfortably. But he was still optimistic, he got to be around you, and you trusted him enough to sleep in your house.

You gave him two blankets and a pillow when he said he was fine with sleeping on the couch, and now it's dark, he's sitting on your couch, a blanket hanging off his shoulders and another covering his lap.

He can't sleep. Maybe because of the fact he's sitting, or maybe the fact he's been left alone in the dark with his thoughts; He doesn't blame you for either, he gets why you can get a bigger couch or a big spare bed, and why you can't keep the TV on for very long. But the real reason he can't sleep, at least to him, is because you're so close to him, just down the hallway. But at the same time you're so far away, he's in the same small apartment as you, yet can't even catch a glimpse of your face right now.

David tries to be optimistic again, at least he can protect you and Nana if something happens. Because you certainly can't. He admires you even more for the fact that your only Cyberware that is installed is for communication and the basics, not only because you couldn't afford any Cybernetics, but because you don't want any. David's thoughts are back to the fact that you're in another room. How do you look when you're sleeping? Maybe you look peaceful, blessed with the sweetest of dreams? Or maybe your face is contorted in fear, your mind riddled with terrifying nightmares? 

David stands, quickly folding the two blankets you gave him and placing them on the couch. He quietly walks down the short hall and is faced with your closed door. He tries to excuse his actions, what if someone broke into your room? He's just checking. He opens the door.

David is met with a rather small room, even for this apartment, the only thing in it is your bed, closet and photos of Nana as well as drawings from her taped onto the wall. He searches for you through the darkness, he can see you easily so he steps closer. He's rather quiet for someone of such large stature. Once he's beside your bed he just stares for a little. You don't look peaceful nor fearful. You just look...troubled and tired, yet so beautiful. Just like always. Even in the few hours of sleep you get, you don't get a break, your mind is still riddled with thoughts of paying rent, waking up on time, feeding Nana, paying the babysitter, making sure Nana is okay. 

You don't deserve to have to work two jobs and get a small amount of sleep before the cycle repeats. You don't deserve to have had to drop out of school so you could take on jobs and pay for you and your sister's necessities. 

He sighs and moves his large, cold and metal hand up to his face and kisses the thumb lightly. David then reaches down with the same hand and brushes his thumb against your cheek as he simultaneously crouches down beside the bed. He makes a promise to himself. To his mother, to Nana, and to you.

No matter who else he fails or has to hurt, he'll watch over you.

He'll protect you.

Notes: This was a request for my Cyberpunk Edgerunners book on Wattpad !! I love him

[dessertpanda]

PART 2 to my Goku x Reader Series ❤️

“An Invitation to Bulma's Birthday?” Y/N asked, as Goku read the letter out loud. “Yeah, Gohan brought it when we were training” Y/N was currently helping the boys with their math homework, explaining how angles work. “Interesting… Should we go?” She was unsure, which made sense since they’ve been basically blacklisted from that group for a good while now. “Can we Y/N? Pretty Please??” Goten was looking at her with hopeful eyes, puppy dog eyes if you will. “Me and Goku will talk about it, see what the best plan of action is” She looked to Goku for a little back up but it seemed he was lost in his own world. “Should we really go though? I mean, what if another fight breaks out?” Trunks asked while heading towards the kitchen. “True, but Goten it’s been awhile since you’ve seen your mom right?” Y/N returned her attention to him. “Y-yeah it has been, I’m still scared to be around her alone” He confessed, slightly embarrassed at his cowardliness. “Then it’s settled” Y/N looked towards Goku whose eyes were blown wide surprise that she changed her mind so fast.. “W-wait, we haven’t even talked about it” He argued unsure if this was smart or not. “Goku look, it’s been forever since Goten has seen his Mom, and he needs her” She gently grabbed Goku's arm so they could talk in another room. “But he has you, he calls you mama sometimes” Goku emphasized on Goten calling her Mom. “Sometimes like when he’s exhausted or just had a bad dream, he’s only looking for comfort” Y/N sighed shaking her head “Look, I know how hard it is to have a bad relationship with you parents, Obviously” Goku brought her into a hug of comfort, ever since the incident she been a little more sensitive about her parental situation. “I don’t want that for him, and if the best way for him to talk to her is with us around, then we have to bite the bullet” She pulled away from Goku taking his face into her hands. She could tell how uneasy he was about even the thought of seeing Chi-Chi again and Bulma to add to it. “Okay, as long as you’re there to keep me grounded I think, I think I can manage” He took a deep breath and grabbed her hand in his. Y/N has been noticing that little soft moments like these have been happening more and more recently. It scared her but at the same time gave her a little bit of hope that he might feel the same for her. “Okay,” She pulled away, heading back to the boys. She grabbed the invitation off the coffee table and read it out loud. “It says" You are invited to Bulma's Birthday Cruise, Location City Doc, be there by 12:00 pm, August 14, Dress is casual formal, RSVP by August 5. Hope to party with you” Y/N finished looking up at the faces of them all. “So, how do we RSVP?” Trunks asked, ignoring the fact that they have to RSVP today. “Umm Goku when did you get this?” Y/N asked, “Gohan gave it to me yesterday” “Ugh, They obviously don’t want us there” Trunks groaned “They gave it late in hopes that we wouldn’t be able to attend” He said pointing out that very obvious fact. “How are we going to RSVP? None of us has even talked to them in months' ' Goten was confused on how exactly they were supposed to do this. “And I don’t train again with Gohan till next week” Goku said with his hand on his chin “What about farther? Train with him today?” Trunks asked, “No, I trained with him yesterday as well” “Ugh, I have an idea but I really don’t want to” Y/N groaned and started to walk towards her bedroom. The boys sat patiently waiting for her return, intrigued as to what the plan was. “Call Old Man” The sound of ringing took over the living room as she returned. She took a seat next to Goku, laid her head on his shoulder and set the phones on speaker. “What the hell do you want?” A gruff voice whispered from the other side. “H-hey dad, It’s Y/N” She said calmly “Yes, I’m aware, Like I said what the hell do you want?” You could hear his thin patients through the phone. “Well. we’re calling to RSVP for the party” Y/N said gaining a little confidence as Trunks took her hand.

“WHAT” two other voices were now introduced to the call. “Chi-chi and Bulma?” Goku mouthed to her. She responded with a head shake “Yeah, there will be 4 of us, Me, Goku, Trunks, and Goten” She said smiling at the boys. “Um Yeah of course I’ll make sure to write your names down on the guest list” Vegeta said, “Perfect, I’ll see you then” She was about to hang up “Y/N wait” Vegeta called before she could hit the red button. “I’m assuming I’m on speaker, take it off but pull Kakarot so he can also hear this” They could hear shuffling on his side, as if he was moving rooms. Y/N followed in instructions, and pulled Goku right next to her face so he could hear through the phone. “Listen carefully, I want to talk to you about something when you get here, just us 3 I owe you an explanation and an apology” This surprised the Duo, “Also Chi-Chi, she’s umm what the Earth word.. She’s become a ?” He questioned his wording. Y/N tried her best to surpass the giggle. “At the party, I warn you two she is going to do all her power to make Kakarot jealous… She really hates you and Goku so just know.” There was silence for a moment. “ I just wanted to warn you so she doesn't ruin whatever that two of you have together, Okay” Now that surprised both of them. “VEGETA GET IN HERE” Bulma's voice boomed “I'M COMING WOMEN” He yelled back just as loud. “Okay, I’ll see you later” He said before hanging up. Both were too stunned to speak, finding out that Vegeta thought they were dating? “So I guess to them we are a thing?” Goku asked “Y-yeah, I’m sorry about his warning” She felt bad, as if Chi-Chi could betray him anymore. He sat still for a moment until he jumped up “Let’s do it!” Goku suddenly had this determined look on his face. “What exactly are we doing?” Y/n was definitely lost “She’s trying to make me jealous, lets fake date, so then she’ll think to back off” Y/N couldn't help but roll her eyes. “Where did you get an idea like that?” “A movie,” Goku admitted. “Please, It could be really fun, Plus we can get the boys to play along, Think of how badly they hurt us” He was now giving puppy dog eyes, practically on his hands and knees. “Never took you for the revenge type, but I don’t know” She was conflicted, sure it would be fun and hilarious to mess with them but would it hurt her even more after it was all done. “Fine, let's ask the boys” She caved.His stupid puppy eyes were just as good as Gotens “If they agree then we will be the “Perfect” family” She gave a small smile, giggling at the mischief they would be doing. “YES” Goku was exhilarated that she agreed. “Boys, we’ve been thinking” Y/N looked to Goku to finish “Would you guys like to go to the party?” Goku was secretly  praying they would say yes “HELL YEAH” They yelled simultaneously. “Okay so it’s a yes but we need to get some more formal clothes, other than training” Y/N said grabbing her coat so they could leave now. “But Y/NNN  I don’t want toooooo” They wined and moaned. “Last I checked None of you even have polos, plus it will be fun and we can go eat after” she tried bribing them. “FOOD?/FUN?” Goku was excited for the food while the boys were happy to hear fun. “Yep, get dressed, let's go now” She sent the boys to get dressed and waited outside for them.

+Mini time skip+

The boys shopping was relatively easy considering Trunks wanted a Pink Polo, Goten got a green polo as to be opposite of Trunks and Goku decided to wait till Y/N got her dress so they could go matching. "Okay Boys seems like you two are set now we just gotta get my dress" Y/N smiled while paying for the boys shirts. They wondered the mall for a little seeing if a store was to catch their eyes. "Oh Y/N what about this one?" Goku pointed to a store with lots of fancy and formal dresses at the window. "OHHH this looks perfect" Y/N quickly rushed into the store. "Hello there and welcome to Arias formal dress shop, Would you like me to set up a room and help with your outfits?" The store lady asked. Goku and the boys followed in soon after. "Oh a family trip, how lovely" The little shop lady clapped her hands "I'll get a room ready Right away" she then rushed to show Y/N her room and pick out of dresses she thought would looking good on her. "You boys sit here and your mamma will come out to show them" The man they assumed to be the shop keepers husband, handed waters and pointed to a couch in front of a makeshift runway. "Oh, so cool" They thanked the man for the drinks and took their respective seats on the couch. A few minutes had passed when the shop lady came out from the dressing room door. "We present the first dress" She did little jazz hands as Y/N stepped out in a deep blue dress, that had little stars on it. "Oh wow Y/N that looks amazing" Trunks smirked at the beauty of his sister. "I like it" Goten added smiling brightly at her. Goku got up and did a small walk around with his hand on his chin. "I uh sorry Y/N but that color just" Y/N frowned at his comment. "It looks great on you but doesn't it kinda remind you of Vegeta?" he asked shaking his head. A look of realization spread across her face. "Oh i guess so yeah, Okay lets try to stay away from the Blues?" Y/N took his comment to heart and asked the Shop keeper to continue their search. To which she happily agreed to. The next dress was a dark Green, with a little lace on it. "No, not my favorite" Trunks was quick to turn that one down much to Goten displease. "I personally liked that one" He muttered. But non the less Y/N went to try on the next one. This dress was pink and had little white hearts on it. "You look like that mouse character" Goten stated. "NO WAY THAT ONE LOOKS AMAZING" Trunks argued. "HEY YOU WOULDN'T LET HER MATCH WITH ME SO SHE CAN'T MATCH WITH YOU" Goten yelled back.  "Hey" Goku hollered sternly, "What have I said about fighting?" He looked down at the two. "Only do it with our fist not our words" They said looking down but then glaring at each other. "Right, but settle that later" Y/N said with her hands on her hips. "Yes ma'am"

After another hour of trying on dresses non of the boys could agree on one. "Okay this is the last dress" The shop keeper said, her hair out of place and breath slightly heavy. Y/n walked out in a deep red dress that complement all her curves and had slight glitter scattered on it. "You look" The young boys stared "Perfect" Goku was quick to finish, getting up to stand next to her. "This one, this is the dress" He said making her do a spin. "YEAH IT'S PERFECT" Trunks got up and flew around his sister admiring the dress. "Yeah Y/N this is the best one" Goten followed after Trunks. "So this is it?" Y/N Asked looking at herself in the mirror running her hands over her curves. "Yes, this is it" Goku said smiling at her through the reflection.  "Alright let's get checked out and head home" Goku said before the Shop lady stopped him. "WAIT, I have a matching dress shirt for your husband here" she said handing Y/N a shirt that matched the dress exactly. "Oh, perfect now we have everything we need for the party" Goku said quickly trying on the shirt to make sure it fits. "Yep and we match, how cool" Y/N giggle hooking her arm around Gokus. "And for such a lovely family, I'll give you a discount" The man checking them out smiled brightly. "Oh thank you so much" Y/N bowed.

"BYE THANK YOU" The small fake perfect family walked out the store and out the mall to head home. One they arrived at home they put their party outfits away and Y/N began to cook dinner. As their night came to a close, Goku was starting to like acting like a family again. Specifically with Y/N who fit into the roll perfectly. He looked up into the bathroom mirror and smiled seeing Her things spread about her side of the counter. He gently picked up her perfume and took a deep whiff of it. He found it intoxicating but he didn't know what these feeling where exactly. "a-am I falling in love with my best friends daughter?" He asked quickly looking up at the mirror again to stare at his reflection as if the answer was awaiting him there.  He chuckled before setting the bottle down, "I guess I am, but this is nothing like Chi Chi" He smiled and began walking out to the front room where she where waiting for him. As he walked in he smiled at Y/N and the boys "Because this is real" he muttered under his breath. "What was that Goku?" Y/N asked glancing up at him. "mm Oh he-he nothing, just remembered I forgot to grab jeans" He giggled, scratching the back of his head. "Oh, thats okay I can just order you some" Y/N smiled, opening her arms so Goku could lay with her. He set his head on her lap and smiled looking up at her. "I love you Y/N" He said. Y/N heart flutter, this time was different that all others, the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice. 'He really does' Y/N thought a blush and butterfly forming. For once since they began living together Y/N knew she could return those words and they would have the same meaning as his. "I love you too Goku". To this Goku smiled brightly up at her.

HOPE YOU LIKE IT, :) HAVE A GREAT DAY AND REMEMBER TO EAT,DRINK, AND LOVE YOURSELF BYEEEEEE

[tangledinink]

If you want to answer, I have some questions for the footsquad au bc it seems so cool.

Is there any romance?

Will we get to see splinter in this au?

Do the boys still love Lou jitsu?(bc Cassandra was oblivious but foot lieutenants knew his movies)And do the boys retain any of their old interests.

And are they all the same ranking within the foot? Bc the show made some jokes about the hierarchy and one of the positions was like toe or something lmao. So I’m curious if any outrank each other or Cassandra or even where April falls!

April was kind of a sister to the turtles in the series. Is it still like that or has the dynamic shifted or changed in some way?

I feel like this is a lot but I just really like the idea of this au. Hope you have a good day!

Ah yes!!! I would!!! Love to!!! I love talking about my AU's hehehe.

Is there any romance?

Perhaps.

Will we get to see Splinter in this AU?

We absolutely will! He plays a fairly significant role! He currently lives alone and as inconspicuously as possible in the Hidden City. He has no idea that any of his sons survived the lab explosion that mutated him, but he may or may not end up running into someone at some point who happens to be familiar with them...

Do the boys still love Lou Jitsu? Do they retain their old interests?

Absolutely! Punch Chowder is their collective favorite. They have had many movie nights with Lt. and Brute in the past and probably will continue to do so in the future! Casey doesn't really get their obsession (they're good, but not that good,) but has watched all the movies with them anyway. The boys do have a lot of the same interests! But... slightly to the left? Mikey still loves art and graffiti-- New York is littered with the Foot Clan's symbol, which doubles as his tag. Raph still loves wrestling, and he usually gets his fix by visiting the Battle Nexus to watch competitors tear each other limb from limbety-limb. Donnie still loves tech and science, though with a lot more mystic elements mixed in. And the Foot Clan doesn't mind if he makes bombs! They even encourage it! :)

Are they all the same rank in the Foot?

More or less! They're all still young and relatively low ranking amongst the organization. Casey is the 'leader' and is considered in charge of the rest of them, but that basically went kind of like this:

If you were to organize them by rank, it'd go Casey -> Raph -> Everyone Else, with most of the rest of the clan above them, save for other, newer recruits. That being said, the turtles sort of hold a special, unofficial 'rank' given that they've been with the clan since infancy, and this unspoken status also extends to Casey and April (to an extent) by association.

April was kind of a sister to the turtles in the series. Is it still like that or has the dynamic shifted or changed in some way?

Kind of! They're all definitely still super close, but they met April much later in life than they did in canon. April also had to go through a huge adjustment period when she ran away from home and joined the Clan (duh) which led to their relationship being a tiny bit volatile/strained for a period of time until she settled in. (April also ended up growing very close with Casey during this time. The brothers have been with the Foot for basically their entire lives; this has always been their world. But Casey remembers when she first joined the Clan. She had to adjust, too.) They all definitely consider her their best friend and would do just about anything for her. And if you asked the boys if they have a sister, they'd still say yes-- and then they'd point you towards Casey.

[possibilistfanfiction]

For a prompt: honestly, I’d love to see more of outsider’s perspectives of Ava and Bea, like you did with the shopkeeper and her wife.

[tbh this has basically everyone u would want to see!! lol - 10k ao3 here]

//

yasmine

camila and beatrice have been video chatting often lately, and have figured out something encouraging,  you think. you try to understand everything, but it seems like, especially when jillian is on, they're speaking a whole different language. sometimes you're a little blown away by the both of them still: camila is brilliant at anything to do with technology, and kind, and funny; beatrice is brilliant at, well, just about everything, and, even though she's been working steadfastly to research how to get ava back, she still has sunkissed skin now, light hair and freckles. sometimes you see a flash of a tattoo on her wrist.

it hadn't really surprised you, to see ava lean forward while the whole entire world was ending and kiss beatrice — a little awkward, for you, but mostly achy. you haven't ever cared about sexuality, but you definitely don't when it comes to the two of them: because there's harm and then there's duty and then there's love.

one day you're sitting with camila, pretending to read more than actually reading, when beatrice facetimes. you know this because, honestly, sometimes you're a little nosy. it's fine; you helped save the world and sometimes the ocs, with incessant and constant training, gets kind of dull.

when camila answers, beatrice is crying. from what you can see, she's in a sports bra, you're pretty sure; you're scared, for a moment, that she's hurt, or that something really bad has happened, but then she's laughing and say, 'ava's here; ava's here,' and camila starts to cry.

'she's — she's okay?'

and then, a literal fucking miracle, ava's face — the same as you remember; so pretty and with a friendly smile — pops up on screen.

'holy shit,' camila says, and then she's laughing too, her eyes filling with tears. 'hi, ava.'

'hey,' ava says, then crams in next to where beatrice is sitting on the couch, practically on her lap, but you can't really begrudge them. beatrice is in a pair of sweatpants and, indeed, a sports bra; ava has, ostensibly, changed from whatever outfit she came back in, because she's wearing a big soft t-shirt and a comfortable pair of shorts. maybe that's what she wore in — wherever she was, but you're pretty certain those are beatrice's clothes. 'yasmine too, hello.'

beatrice is still crying and smiling and ava leans into her side, runs her fingers gently under her eyes to dry her tears.

'— how?' is the only thing camila gets out: are you okay?; do you remember us?; do you want to kill us now?; how long have you been gone?; are you still the ava we know?; what is going to happen to this world now? sits in your chest, but ava just shrugs.

'i heard bea, all the time.' beatrice blushes slightly, but she just tucks her face into ava's arm from a moment. 'and all of you too. but, bea, the strongest. i think it had something to do with her being in the ocean, maybe? and the city of angels.' she turns to beatrice. 'a little on the nose, don't you think?'

'oh yeah,' camila says, 'that's it, definitely the only reason.'

beatrice rolls her eyes but ava just smiles. 'and because she loves me, i suppose.' she scoots even closer to beatrice, who sighs happily. 'something just — spit me out, i guess. right in bea's living room. which, if i do say so myself, is way better than cat's cradle, no offense.'

another miracle in a series of miracles beyond belief. 'wow,' you say, and there's a beat of silence before everyone is laughing again, camila wiping tears.

'anyway, maybe you can come to us, tomorrow?' ava asks. 'i don't — i would like to stay here, if i can. if that works. at least for a few days.'

'you're — you're healed?' you can't help but ask.

ava nods. 'lots of scars,' she says, but then shrugs, and beatrice runs a gentle hand up and down her spine. 'but yeah, i'm good, as far as i can tell. not old as fuck, either, which rocks.'

'we can come tomorrow,' camila says, then starts crying all over again. 'i can't wait to see you. both of you.'

ava grins. 'yeah, don't come too early, though. i have plans.'

beatrice really blushes then, coughs into ava's shoulder.

'i will be sure to let beatrice know before coming,' camila says.

ava's smile is way too bright, all of a sudden, and beatrice groans and you kind of want to cover your ears before ava says, 'that's what i'll be doing tonight.'

'goodbye, ava,' camila says, even though she laughs. 'i love you, so much.'

ava leans into the camera, like she wants to reach through it. 'i love you too. i am — there are no words for what i feel, seeing you all again. and how much i missed you.'

'well, have fun tonight,' camila says. 'please don't tell me any details when we visit tomorrow.'

'this one time, i'll spare you.'

'thank god.'

//

keiko

you meet her on an otherwise unremarkable monday afternoon. you're running through your forms before the advanced adult class you teach, and when she walks in, you notice her immediately: muscular in a cutoff tank, in a way that's unassuming and speaks to years of training specifically in martial art, a calm expression on her face. her hair is back in a meticulously neat bun, and, when she sees the wall of bo you've spent a few years collecting, her shoulders relax and she lets out a big breath. vanessa is at the front desk and, while she's the best to go out in weho with, she's not the most knowledgable.

'hi,' you say, stepping up beside the desk. 'i'm keiko.'

she offers her hand and shakes firmly, calluses similar to yours. 'beatrice,' she says. 'pleasure.'

'can i help you with anything?'

'i'm hoping to join a dojo.'

'well,' you gesture to, in fact, the dojo behind you, 'you've come to the right place.'

she grants you a small smile.

'we have classes, all levels. would you like me to show you around?'

'that would be wonderful, thank you.'

and you had shown her around; you had sold her a monthly trial membership — a few advanced adult classes and some time for open practice — and a gi and obi — she'd calmly informed you that she's a black belt, and when she came in the next afternoon for the advanced class you teach, you had felt immediately embarrassed when she runs through forms with the kind of power and ease you had only seen a few times in your life, even at the olympics and world championships.

'that was a great class,' she says, far too kind a compliment for someone who is probably the one person you've met since you retired a few years ago who could beat you in a competition.

'you are — incredible.'

she shoulders the compliment with reluctance. 'i haven't trained in quite a while.'

'that is honestly insane.'

she laughs, after a moment. 'a much needed mental health break,' she says. 'but it felt good, to return to this, in this way.'

'do you — i saw you looking at the bo the other day,' you say, and you don't miss the way her hands twitch. 'would you like to use one? i have to clean and close up, anyway.'

she hesitates, but then, 'are you sure?'

'absolutely,' you say. 'pick any one you want; you can train over there, it's got the best view of the ocean.'

'that's very kind.' she's solemn, and a little quiet. 'thank you, keiko.'

she walks, barefoot and at home in her gi, and runs her hands gently over each bo. she picks a medium length one, black and sleek and heavier than your favorite, and then takes a deep breath and starts moving so beautifully you can't even quite follow it. it's mesmerizing, and you watch until she slows and then sets the bow on the ground and, to your surprise, sniffles. she wipes tears off her cheeks and you quickly start cleaning, granting her as much privacy as possible. she takes a deep breath and then takes the bo and walks back over to the wall.

'if i find one of my own,' she says, 'can i store it here? it's all right if not, of course.'

'you're more than welcome to do that.' you don't quite know what to say to her, the most talented martial artist you've ever seen in your life, who never competed at any events you know of, randomly in your dojo, who had just cried running through forms with a bo, small and coiled tightly. 'and, honestly, you don't have to feel like you need to come to classes. you're more than welcome, but i think you're beyond anything i would have to teach you.'

she laughs after a few seconds. 'i really did enjoy it.'

'maybe thursday we could spar? i'm here in the morning.'

she seems to weigh it, but then she nods. 'that sounds fun. thank you, keiko.'

you get to know her quickly: the way she moves and her favorite forms and the first time she throws you, you lie on your back in a little bit of shock: you haven't lost in years. she just stands calmly and offers you a hand. 'who are you?'

she just laughs.

you get to know her, as the days go along. you get lunch, one day, and you flirt with the host and the waiter — 'i love cute boys,' you say, 'what can i say?' — which amuses her.

'my partner is a flirt,' she says, but the smile slips from her face before she can stop it. she clears her throat. 'she's very sick, right now,' she says, quickly, as if to avoid your questions. 'but, still,' she says, sitting up a little straighter, gathering herself, 'a flirt.'

you learn not to ask about her partner; you learn that she surprisingly loves pepperoni pizza and beer; you learn that she's rich and lives in a beautiful house on the beach, but she's generous and lowkey, especially compared to everyone else in los angeles. she works in tech for a firm in spain — the details vague, but that's tech anyway — and, when you offer to let her teach a kids class, she smiles gently and accepts. she's patient and seems to enjoy correcting their form and teaching them kata one step at a time; she encourages them and makes sure to teach, quietly, that the goal is never, ever to harm, only to protect. she's one of your best friends, quickly, and is also impossible to beat whenever you spar. she goes out with you and your friends in weho one night, gets very drunk and turns down what feels like an entire club of women, and then tells you, on your couch at home while you give her a glass of water, that her partner’s name is ava, and that she’s kind and smart and beautiful and loves to dance. she doesn’t cry, but she curls up, small and sad; you haven’t mentioned it since.

one day, beatrice texts you, early in the morning, Hello! Ava's treatment worked, so she's back with me now, for the foreseeable future.

it's very businesslike, but she's always a stiff texter, and you know how excited she must be, how relieved.

Hopefully forever, she sends, and you know you're right.

you meet ava a few days later, hanging onto beatrice's side when she comes to the dojo after a few days off. you realize, in one flash of a moment, clear and sacred, that you really have never seen beatrice smile before — not until ava looks at her when she takes her bo off the wall with the softest expression. devotion; adoration. love. beatrice blushes and returns it, a smile in full force so powerful it knocks the air out of you slightly.

you also realize that you've never seen beatrice show off before, and you decide, right then and there, you're never sparring while ava is watching. you can lose, sure, but being humiliated is not on your to-do list. when you tell ava that, as she watches beatrice in a little bit of a daze, she just laughs. 'she's incredible.'

'yeah,' you agree as beatrice swipes the bo along the ground so hard you think she could break an ankle, then stands without a breath in between. 'she is.'

//

ray

the second time you meet ava, she's in a tiny bikini, bright orange, with a wispy gossamer coverup that you're sure beatrice bought just for her. it kind of makes you laugh, and it's barely warm enough to be out without a sweater, let alone in a bikini, but ava waves when you come in from the whitewater. bea is still waiting at the outer break, exhausted this morning for reasons that made her blush and you had laughed, delightedly.

'your girl is taking forever to catch anything today,' you say.

ava almost glows, you think, at your girl. 'we didn't get much sleep last night,' ava tells you with a wink. you grin and high five and then offer her a spot on your towel after you unzip your wetsuit and pull it down to rest along your waist.

ava is beautiful. you had wanted to know her, for months, and finally, she's here — young and so, so pretty; small and surprisingly muscular. you would never say anything, but you know she had been sick, and there are scars all over her body, puckered and angry still, shiny and pink. you know bea doesn't care, and you don't either, but ava moves a little gingerly and you fight the urge to ask if she needs help. she settles, eventually, legs stretched out in front of her and her palms behind, leaning back into the sun, face turned up toward it. she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in, then slowly lets it out.

you notice beatrice about to catch a wave, and you're happy when ava seems, like a sixth sense, to open her eyes just in time. bea is talented: balanced and strong and had learned to surf on a short board and relatively big swells quicker than anyone else you'd taught; when she’d shown you her bo one day — mostly because it was just out on her coffee table — you had been both very turned on and a little terrified. she’s the most gifted athlete you know, and so it’s no surprise when. she rides the biggest wave of the day all the way in, kissing the lip a few times, and ava sighs.

'she's so hot, jesus christ.'

'no comment.'

she laughs. 'we didn't get a ton of time together, really, before i... got sick.' she pauses, looking at beatrice collecting her board in the whitewater. 'she was scared. but now, it's like —' she shakes her head — 'i just love her so much.'

'yeah,' you say, a little teary for your friend. 'i can tell you, without a doubt, that she loves you too.'

ava grins, then stands and walks toward beatrice, who lets ava pull down the zipper of her wetsuit with gratuitous hands, a kiss to the nape of her neck, and then grabs beatrice's hand and laces their fingers together. 'wanna come over for breakfast?'

'i would — yeah,' you say, 'i would really love that.'

you step in, quickly, once ava cracks an egg so hard it goes all over the counter and beatrice only looks on in adoration.

'you're a disaster,' you tell her, but she just shrugs. ava is still in her bikini and cover up, and beatrice's hands sit on her hips while you fry some eggs and chop up vegetables to make a passable pico. she smiles into the crook of ava's neck and they make you a little breathless: a happiness that quiet; a love that big.

//

ayanna

you've been working at this coffee shop for a week now, and every morning, the hottest woman you've ever seen walks in, clearly just from the beach, and orders the same thing in a british accent that makes you want to groan. you're new to this part of los angeles, which is bougie as hell. it's mostly white influencers who order overly complicated drinks for no reason, but the pay is above minimum wage and your manager has worked with your class schedule easily enough.

plus — beatrice.

she's quiet, exceedingly polite and always tips at least twice of what her drink costs. she smiles and has freckles and you burn your hand more than once sneaking a glance at her strong arms and tattoo on her wrist and, eventually, a new one on her shoulder and collarbone that you had seen because she's decided to make your 6:42 am better by wearing a cutoff tank and shorts today.

'good morning, ayanna,' she says, and it's fucking electrifying that she knows your name, even if you have a nametag on your apron — it still counts.

'hey, beatrice. how were the waves this morning?'

she leans against the counter, just slightly, and you will yourself to keep your cool. 'how much do you know about surfing?'

'nothing, really.'

she laughs, not unkind. 'well, in that case, the outer break was far, which means i had to paddle a lot, but the waves were beautiful. can't regret it.'

'uh,' you say, super smooth, 'regular order?'

'yes,' she says, 'and can you add a chocolate croissant? oh, and an olive oil coffee cake. thank you.'

beatrice doesn't seem like the kind of person to eat a croissant and a coffee cake for breakfast, but who are you to judge: that sounds awesome, frankly. you tell her your total and she tips, like always, excessively, and then collects everything with a kind smile.

'have a great day,' she says, and you're too flustered to say anything other than an extremely eloquent, 'same.' mohammed laughs at you from where he's unpacking more to-go cups and you flip him off before you greet the next customer.

/

it's a few days later when your routine gets broken by another beautiful woman, who seems a little in awe of this stupid, trendy coffee shop, but beatrice wasn't in yesterday and it's already 7:19 and she hasn't been in today. it's not that you expect her, really, but she is the best part of your shift, so, whatever. you can have a harmless crush if you want.

'hi,' this new person says, and then reads your nametag. 'ayanna, what's up?'

your mind blanks, because you're pretty much face to face with an angel: she's small and lively and has pretty, delicate features and her hair is pushed back beneath a bright pink beanie, just at her chin. her hands, playing with a small, elegant black wallet, are delicate too. 'nothing,' you get out, 'just, you know, work.'

she smiles. 'yeah, i'm a bartender. opposite end of the day, but i get you.'

you glance down at your screen, just to have something to do other than stare. 'so, what's your order?'

she gets out her phone and reads off iced coffee with cold foam, and then locks it and inspects your pastries. 'can i get one of each? i want to try them all.'

you laugh, something fond and a little ridiculous about that, but you say, 'sure thing. what's the name?'

'ava,' she says. 'thanks.'

mohammed rolls his eyes at you while he gets the iced coffee ready and you put each pastry neatly in a to-go box, because ava is right there and you certainly hadn't needed to get her name. but whatever, she's gorgeous and it's early. ava tucks the box of pastries under her arm. 'ava, tell me which is your favorite the next time you come in.'

ava seems delighted by this. a good sign. 'sure thing,' she says, and then waves.

/

the next morning, it all comes crashing down. there's horrendous traffic, even at 5 am, and you barely make it on time. there's a rush of rude ass customers way too early, and you spill a shot of espresso down your apron.

but, then you see beatrice, and it's wonderful, and perfect, and so great: you're ready today, to ask for her number; you can do it. but then you see ava walk in right behind her after holding the door open, and it's like slow motion when ava bumps into beatrice's side and laces their fingers together and places a sweet kiss to her shoulder. you know there are flowers that sit there, under her hoodie, gorgeous in their greyscale, and ava seems to know as well.

'ayanna,' beatrice says, the biggest, most contented smile on her face, 'good morning.'

you nod and smile, although you're a little crushed. 'hey, beatrice. and hi, ava.'

'hello!' it's way too early for this kind of cheer but it's a little infectious.

'this is my partner, ava,' beatrice says, as if it wasn't horrifically obvious.

'back from quite the business trip,' ava says, looking at the pastries again. 'very remote, no sweets. gotta make up for lost time, you know?'

beatrice blanches a little but ava looks at her sweetly and she recovers. 'can i get my usual, and whatever chaotic order ava wants?'

ava laughs. 'my favorite was a tie,' she says, 'between the chocolate croissant and the olive oil coffee cake. which, i know, beatrice, you had said, but whatever, okay?'

beatrice smiles. 'okay, ava.'

they both, despite their bickering, are so tangibly happy your spirits lift. you'll take the L, if you have to, for people to have what they clearly do. they overtip, as always, and then take their leave.

'ouch,' mohammed says. '0 for 2 this morning.'

you sigh. 'more fish in the sea, i guess. gotta keep the faith.'

he laughs. 'that's the spirit.'

//

jillian

'okay,' ava says, sitting up as best she can with a grimace, 'if bea can't get into bed with me, what about you?'

you spare a glance for beatrice, who only rolls her eyes in amusement and underlying sadness: ava is in pain, to the point where she can't walk, can barely sit or lie down. she's on muscle relaxers and pain medicine so she's comfortable, but it's complicated and tedious, to try to fix her spine — or, more realistically, stabilize it — without killing her.

'how about we see how you're feeling after surgery?'

ava groans. 'that's so boring, jillian.'

you walk to her bedside and take her hand, squeeze it gently. 'ready?'

ava takes a deep breath, braver than anyone you've ever known in your life, time and time again. she looks at beatrice, who bends down and kisses ava gently. ava tucks a strand of beatrice's hair behind her ear and then cups her face. 'in this life.'

beatrice nods. 'in this life.'

'i love you, bea.'

beatrice kisses ava's forehead, eyes closed in reverence. 'i love you, ava.'

ava looks at you and then nods, teary and afraid. 'ready.'

other than your son, you have never been as determined as you are now. you control all of the tech to make sure ava is fully sedated but still alive, that the halo is dormant enough to allow the surgeons to work on her spine without it healing their interventions immediately. it's kind of a miracle, you think, that it all works — but, then again, it seems that ava is prone to miracles. it goes smoothly, without a hitch. ava will have chronic pain and limited mobility, at least some days, during flares — but it will be manageable. it will be livable.

beatrice is asleep when you bring ava back into the room, wheeling the bed as quietly as possible. she stirs, exhausted, from her chair, and you get to tell her — and then, after, a crowded room of ava's people, ava's family, waiting nervously — that it had gone as best as it could. you were sure she was alive, and that she'd wake up, and that, as far as you can understand, her pain would be significantly reduced. ava deserves more than that, much more, but it's what you can give.

you wake beatrice gently, a squeeze to her shoulder. you tell her first, because ava loves her: 'she did great. everything went as perfectly as it could.'

beatrice sniffles and then stands and hugs you. 'thank you,' she says, strong and calm and trembling with the force of it: the love of her life, safe and cared for.

'hot,' ava rasps from bed, and beatrice laughs and lets go of you and hurries to ava's side, takes her hand.

'hello, darling.'

ava lifts her hand and cups bea's cheek, and then wiggles her toes under the blanket. she grins up at beatrice, then grins at you. 'it worked?'

'yes,' you say, and it can't bring back your son and you can't fix the world, heaven or hell, but this — this — you can do: 'it did.'

//

mary

'hey,' you say, softly, when you notice beatrice start to stir on the couch. she presses her nose into the pillow behind her head, then the couch cushion, and then reaches up and rubs her eyes, scratches above her ear, and scrubs a hand over her face and blinks dazedly.

'a new shift?' beatrice looks around at the walls and windows darkening, trying to gain her bearings. she's in a hoodie and shorts, comfortable and soft, a pair of pale pink socks on her feet, her broken leg in its brace propped on a few pillows. ava had carefully draped a soft blanket over her, but beatrice had thrown it mostly to the side in her sleep.

'we're not working, beatrice.' you say it kindly, though, and offer her a glass of water with a metal straw ava had shown you proudly in one of the drawers in their kitchen. she sips greedily, without any embarrassment — maybe she's on pain meds enough to not care; maybe she's known you for so, so long it doesn't matter; maybe she's been shown a degree of love you have known only once.

she pats your hand. 'i know.' she wrinkles her nose. 'where's ava?'

'i threatened her to take a walk.'

beatrice laughs. 'glad to know she still understands who the best of us is.'

you want to argue with her — you're the best of us, beatrice; you always have been — but her head lolls to the side on the cushion and her eyes are fluttering open and closed. 'i like your haircut,' you offer instead. you wonder, with pride, what she's learned about herself, what she's let come forward that she's always known.

she smiles softly. 'yeah?'

'yeah. you’ve got a great soft dyke vibe going on. looks good on you.'

you’re not sure about the word, but you love her and you understand. and — she grins. ‘that’s the goal. androgynous and comfortable. i — i’ve grown into what i want, i think.’

'speaking for myself, i love to see it. it’s a whole vibe.’

‘yeah.’ she looks down and fiddles with her phone case for a second, not coordinated like usual. 'hey, so, feel free to tell me to fuck off forever, if you want, but one of my best friends is... basically the best.' she squints, focusing so intently and still producing a mildly incoherent sentence. it’s charming. 'i know there's no one that could — i know, mary. i know. but i think you'd like her.'

your heart aches, because beatrice lost ava but she came back; because beatrice has hurt all the same. and shannon wouldn't have wanted you to shut yourself off from the world. 'she's hot?'

beatrice laughs delightedly, pushing herself to sit up further. 'very, very hot. if you need backup, just ask ava.'

'ava thinks everyone is hot.'

'true. but, most of all, me.'

she says it with such stoned confidence it's hard to even tease her. 'okay,' you say, 'when should i meet your friend, then?'

beatrice gets out her phone and slowly clicks through a few screens, then squints. 'she'll be here in twenty minutes for dinner.' she holds her phone close to your face, not at all steady, but you do make out your name and then ray making the best birria ever (for ava) one right after another.

'should i stay for dinner, then?'

she grins. 'i think i'm falling back asleep. so you should definitely stay. she could use some company.' she stares into space for a minute. 'let me send ava a voice note so they know not to pester you when they get back.'

'maybe a text?'

beatrice just shrugs and sends a meandering three minute long voice note, sort of explaining the situation but mostly proclaiming her undying love, and so you follow up with a coherent text saying, beatrice wants me to meet your friend. if things are going well, can you not third wheel? you owe me, and ava responds with a, FUCK YEAH!!!!! you're the best and ray is the best!! bea is a genius, and then, i'll make up so many totally valid excuses to leave you two alone, and, finally, the patio is very romantic. dig into bea's stash of very expensive wine and whiskey too, in my honor.

you laugh, and tell beatrice that ava was excited about the idea.

'speak of the devil.'

ava puts her tote down when she gets in the front door, a bouquet of flowers poking out from it. 'mm, not quite.' she kisses bea on the top of her head and then proceeds to do the same to you, although you swat her away. 'try god's favorite angel instead.'

'i will never.'

beatrice looks at ava, adoringly, too much for you to stomach sometimes. 'want to go to the balcony? i can nap out there just as easily as in here.'

'totally,' ava says. 'mary, have fun with ray. you can text me when the birria is finished and i'll just pop by to grab some for us. but she really is awesome, even just as a friend.'

'a spontaneous blind date,' you say, although you do have a few butterflies in your stomach. it doesn't feel wrong, to go on a date, although you do feel sad, and longing, because you had something beautiful and it didn't last. but, still: 'this better be as fun as you promise.'

'it definitely will be,' beatrice slurs, and ava looks at you amusedly.

'okay, you're way too high to be trusted in this situation. let's go.'

'i don't need help,' beatrice says, although it's a full task to watch her sit up and get her crutches from their resting place against the side of the couch. but she does it, slowly and unsteadily, and ava puts a careful hand to her low back when she wobbles. but then all is well, and beatrice tries to wink at you and fails, and it makes you laugh. 'have so much fun, mary.'

you promise to try, and you pick up the book ava had been reading earlier, pretending to do something with your hands as you hear them bicker as they very, very slowly make their way up down the hall, but eventually a door closes and it's quiet. hey shannon, you pray, as you often do, i might kiss someone else soon. sorry. but i think you would be happy in this life, especially if she's hot. ava is annoying, but so good; you would be proud of her. beatrice you're always proud of, i know it. i love you, in the next.

it settles something inside you, and when ray lets herself in their front door, your breath catches a little: she has a mess of black curls cut to her ears, and tattoos down both arms, a linen button up only fastened halfway up her chest, a few chains sitting there. she's smaller than you, and she tucks her sunglasses into her shirt and then smiles.

'hey,' she says, 'i'm ray. she/her pronouns. beatrice sent me a very incoherent voice note that her "hot friend mary" was here, finishing out a business trip, and that i should woo you by making dinner tonight.' she holds up her grocery tote. 'hopefully you're mary, because you are in fact very hot.'

you laugh. 'well, i don't know about the last part, but i am mary. beatrice and i go way back.'

'amazing.' she settles, familiar, at the kitchen island. 'do you like to cook? beatrice and ava are disasters.'

'i love to cook.'

she grins. 'good,' she says. 'birria is their favorite, so it's good to know, if you'll be around for a bit.'

she's beautiful, and her forearms are strong and her hands quick when she starts to lay out the ingredients. you tell yourself to be brave: beatrice and ava and their big house full of love, overlooking the ocean. so you stand next to ray, elbows bumping for a moment, and she smiles at you in a way that makes you feel electric. 'i think i just might,' you say.

she nods down at the onions she's setting aside, but her smile doesn't fade at all. 'well, if you want help looking for a place, let me know. unless you want an insane house like this, in which i can't help at all.'

you laugh. 'it is beautiful, though.'

'yeah,' she says. 'i love it here.'

you think, as you let ray explain tasks and her great-grandmother's recipe, as you open a few windows and hear ava's laughter waft in from outside, like the sweet spices you add to the meat, as ray squeezes your hand, just once, after you finish chopping cilantro.

you might kill ava when she comes in to get their plates a few hours later and quips, 'oh good, you're already betrothed. congrats!' before walking away. you throw a chip at her that falls disappointingly short, but she laughs, and you think you just might love it here too.

//

angela

you're finding a table on the patio of your favorite wine bar when you see beatrice sitting at one near the railing, alone, writing in a journal. there's a part of you that doesn't want to interrupt but she's quiet, whenever she stops by for lunch with ava, and she reminds you a little of noel.

she looks up when you stand near, and then genuinely smiles. 'angela,' she says, and stands very properly; it's a breath of fresh air to see young people with manners still. 'what a nice surprise.'

'i can see you're busy.' gesture to her journal. 'so please feel free to say no, but would you mind if i joined you?'

'not at all,' she says, and then pulls out a chair for you before sitting back in her own and closing her journal. 'to tell you the truth, i haven't even ordered any wine yet.'

you laugh, charmed immensely already. 'well, shall we split a bottle? they have my favorite chardonnay here, if you like that.'

'i — yes,' she says. 'ava is working this afternoon, so that would be wonderful. i appreciate your company.'

she's a kid, you realize, all over again with a pang in your chest: when ruth had told you that she had invited someone in her early twenties to come to water aerobics, but then you had met ava and all of your frustration had gone by the wayside. 'likewise.' the server comes, one of your favorites, and asks happily if you'd like your typical glass. 'a bottle, instead, tommy,' you tell him, and he salutes with a grin, which makes beatrice laugh.

'you like this spot?'

'i do,' you say. 'it gets good light.'

she seems to understand what you mean, because she leans back and lets the sun rest on the planes of her face peacefully. ava hadn't stopped talking for days about beatrice cutting her hair, months ago, even more excited than when she herself had shown up with pale purple hair — ridiculous, in a way, but she had been happy and young and so you grant her it all. beatrice's has grown out a bit by now, which ava still talks about, and her muscles, and the freckles across her nose, all exuberant young love — but you can tell, you've always been able to tell, when someone feels comfortable in their skin. the utter joy of being a space where someone can become.

'i love the light here,' she says. 'i grew up in london, and then switzerland, so i've come to appreciate the sun.'

'my wife wanted to move here for that reason alone.' you laugh. 'we met in oakland, but she was so set on los angeles.'

beatrice seems deeply unfazed by wife, and thanks tommy for pouring her wine after you taste yours. 'how long were you together?'

'fifty-four years,' you say. 'married for fifty-two of them.' you roll your eyes. 'legally, for eleven, but i never cared much for that distinction.'

'of course,' she says. 'and, not to sound trite, but i'm sorry, for your loss.'

and it had been a profound one: you had no idea how to get up each morning, until ruth had dragged you to this ridiculous water aerobics class. so you smile, gently. 'noel was a light in this world. the breadth of that love — i wouldn't trade a single minute.'

she swallows, glances down and swirls her wine. 'i can only hope to have the same, with ava.'

you reach out and squeeze her hand. 'if it's all dependent on love, i'm certain you will. ava adores you.'

she sighs, looks into the sun again. 'i used to be a nun.'

you can't help but laugh. 'did you really?'

beatrice nods, and waits a moment before she laughs too. 'it seemed like the only thing that would keep me safe, from — from myself, i suppose. but then, of course, i met ava. a divinity, i suppose, more than i could've ever imagined, really.'

'noel was a reverend,' you say, and remember the benedictions she prayed at your feet: her neat suits and short hair and round-rimmed glasses as she got older, the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes when she smiled.

beatrice smiles. 'would you like to tell me about her?'

you would, very much so, and so you do: you met at a protest when you were nineteen and she was twenty-one, and you kissed her two nights later underneath an apple tree just starting to blossom. she put you through law school, working three jobs, and when you finally got a job at a firm and ferociously worked your way up — for her — she went to divinity school. you had many children — beautiful boys in love with each other; beautiful girls in love with themselves — pass through your home, often showing up at noel's church with no family anymore. you fed them, and you had to watch so many of them die. and then — and then the world healed itself, in one particular way, and it was never easy; it has never been easy. you married noel once, in your garden, with your friends, and you married her again in her own church, years and years later, the rainbow flag outside and the stained glass the same kind of holy. it has been hard, and sorrowful, but it was worth it. the joy was worth it.

you see the gentle set of beatrice's shoulders, the way her chest is flat beneath her shirt, and you know she understands.

she sniffles and wipes under her eyes and then squeezes your hand tightly. 'i don't quite know what to say, but — thank you, for sharing. what a beautiful love.'

you clear your throat. 'yes. but, noel made me promise not to live a boring life, or to withhold any of my love. so if you have any aunts who might be interested —' you wiggle your eyebrows — 'please let me know.'

she laughs. 'unfortunately, i don't. but i'll be on the lookout.'

you make a big show of acting disappointed. 'well, i know you're taken — not that that has always stopped me before — but i'll take pity on ava. i like her.'

beatrice blushes, all the way to the tips of her ears, and you grin.

you finish your bottle of wine together, and she tells you about judo and aikido and about ava's new interest in geology; she asks about your greyhound rescue, malcolm, and his newest sweaters. she pays the bill, despite your protests — it's a particular joy of mine to use my homophobic parents' trust fund for queer gifts and adventures.

'bring ava, for dinner sometime,' you say. they have a house on the beach and a love that's so safe, so bright — but the world harms and harms and harms, and they are your children too.

'i would love that,' beatrice says, quiet and grateful. 'i would really love that.'

//

dakota

training service dogs is, in your opinion, the absolute best job in the world. your organization focuses on multi-purpose dogs, for medical and psychologic assistance, often both. it's a challenge, especially if handlers aren't fully equipped. but sometimes, it's your favorite thing ever.

when you first meet ava — and beatrice — you're charmed immediately. ava has a cane but sits down on the floor without hesitation to take korra into her lap, who immediately pinch bites but nuzzles into ava's arms anyway. 'bea,' she says, 'oh my god.'

'her name is korra,' you say, and beatrice laughs, just once, when ava perks up. 'she's small enough that you could change it, if you wanted to, but —'

'i love legend of korra,' ava cuts in. 'bisexual heroine! sick back tattoo. hot brilliant rich girlfriend.' she soots beatrice a wink, which makes her blush. 'i am not changing a perfect name for a perfect girl.'

'well then,' you say, 'do you mind if i sit with you and walk you through the plan?'

'oh,' ava says, 'i can get up. i just got excited.'

you wave her off. 'i like to play with her too. she's so sweet.'

'bea,' ava says with a grin, relieved that your decision was exclusively about the dog and nothing to do with her disability, 'you wore your old jeans just for this occassion.'

beatrice sighs, but she sits without any hesitation and melts, a little, when ava puts a squirming korra in her arms. 'hi, sweet girl,' she says, and runs her hand along korra's soft head and her feather-light spine. then she looks at you, 'do you mind if i record you? just audio. i know you'll give us all the instructions, but i find it helpful to have all forms of processing available so i can understand best.'

ava shoots you a glance sideways, trying not to laugh, but you keep it together. 'sure.'

beatrice and ava come in every session, five minutes early, with korra making incredible progress. eventually, ava comes by herself and happily explains that she's learned how to drive with hand controls on the days she needs to, which is fucking awesome. when you tell her that, she laughs and nods.

korra is a rockstar with her positive reinforcement training, and ava reports every time some new milestone she's reached. you'll work with the both of them for at least another year, but — 'you've done such an incredible job already, ava.'

ava shrugs, scratches behind korra's ears where she's happily sitting by ava's chair, calm and panting a little because she'd just worked on some difficult commands. 'i love to learn.' she shrugs. 'and i really love korra. i guess it's just — it is what it is, right? life and pain and whatnot. and, anyway, she helps.'

korra licks your hand when you offer her a small bite of a hot dog, and you swear she smiles at you. 'yeah, i know she does.'

//

marcus

Just do me a favor and look over the project before you roll your eyes at me, ekugbe texts you. admittedly, she is one of your favorite architects to work with, but she's also your ex. It's a good friend of mine, she follows up with, as if that's a plus. whatever. It's something you'll find meaning in, I promise.

it's annoying, because she's probably right, you think, and then she's definitely right when you open her email a few hours later and see detailed, gorgeous plans to redo a house on the water so that's it's ADA accessible. it's sleek and all clean lines, perfect materials planned; the owners, beatrice gu-knight and ava silva, you read, had clearly spared no expense in their plans, and, inevitably, ekugbe's mock ups are beautiful. you sigh. I'll meet with them, you text. you type out, But not because of you and then erase it, mostly because you sister keeps telling you that you don't need to send out more negative energy into the world.

you call beatrice's number the next day, and she's very proper and very british, and when you meet her at the house later, you're kind of in awe at how stunning it is already.

'we bought it as is,' she explains, 'but my partner, ava, needs it to be accessible for wheelchair usage now.' she doesn't sound sad, not a single regret at having to change one of the simplest, most well-designed and amazing houses you've ever seen. she's inches shorter than you but commanding still, straight backed and quietly confident, dressed in simple linen pants and a t-shirt, a cardigan thrown over her shoulders, a dark green beanie and lighter green glasses, barefoot — rich in the understated way that some people in los angeles are, palpably and casually, and you know that anything you need will be there for you, right away.

'i'd like to keep the doors to the patio, for sure,' she tells you, leading you on a tour. they space is designed to be indoor/outdoor, with doors that open all the way to a small hot tub and a giant patio. 'i'm sure you saw the blueprints ekugbe drew up — and, by the way, sorry, i know you have a complicated past, but she really did say you were the best, especially with projects like this.'

'it's totally fine,' you tell her, and when you see the release of tension in her shoulders, you genuinely mean it. she explains that they'll want to move the primary bedroom and bathroom onto the first floor, down a hallway that currently has two offices. you've contracted on many houses this big before, so the space is something of a blessing. 'that won't be a problem, especially since it doesn't look like the wall between them is load bearing.'

'great,' beatrice says. 'that's what ekugbe told me, so it's good to make sure.'

you go through the rest of the house: they'll need a wheelchair lift along the stairs, which won't be hard to install because it's just one staircase, straight up to a big enough landing that there won't be any issues. she wants to redo their kitchen and bathrooms entirely, so that everything will be reachable and safe. it'll be a huge project, but one you feel — even though your head is spinning at changing a house like this — is important. is a labor of love.

'ava and i will be here for the next two weeks, and then in europe for a few months. what do you think a reasonable timeline is for you? i would like to set up a rental for us, if you need longer than that.' it's not snooty, although the words are. it's matter of fact, just a series of tasks and logistics.

'as long as materials come on time, especially if we order them now, i should be able to do it in that timeframe.'

'wonderful,' she says, and clasps her hands in front of her chest, an endearing gesture. 'well, please send over anything to sign and payment methods, and let me know a start date.'

'will do.'

'also, marcus?'

'hmm?'

'can i help you blow the wall out?' she grins. 'i've always wanted to. i have four black belts, if that helps.'

you just laugh. 'yeah, sure. why not?'

/

ava sits in her chair, pretty, in the same linen pants that beatrice had worn the other day, which is kind of funny and kind of sweet. she looks significantly more sad than beatrice about the state of their house, though, as you lay down tarps in the office to protect the floors.

'i swear i only agreed to this because bea promised you'd let her use a sledge hammer.'

'it'll be beautiful, when it's done.'

she sighs. 'i really do believe you. just, a bummer, you know?'

'my brother uses a chair,' you tell her. 'i like projects like this. and, plus, this house is amazing no matter what. your patio almost brought me to tears.'

she laughs. 'yeah, we fell in love with it right away.'

beatrice walks in in a cutoff tank and work pants, practical boots, and ava groans.

'best roleplay of my life,' she mumbles, and beatrice rolls her eyes.

'thank you for letting me have a little fun, marcus.'

'of course.'

'do i need a hard hat?'

'definitely not,' you manage without laughing, and hand her a sledge hammer.

ava watches, riveted, as you and beatrice go at the wall a few times, and then beatrice pauses and looks toward ava. 'want to get a few hits in? it's very cathartic.'

ava hesitates.

beatrice just pauses, patient, and then says, 'unless your back is hurting, i know you'll be strong enough. it's not that heavy.'

ava grins and wheels forward eagerly, lifts the sledgehammer and then nods. beatrice offers her her safety glasses and then backs away to the threshold of the door. ava swings, just fine, and gets a good chunk of the wall to break off from where beatrice had already been working, and she laughs and looks back at beatrice with a happy, relieved expression.

eventually, your crew takes over, and beatrice and ava take their leave to a rental for a few nights before they go do whatever they're doing in europe. the house comes together beautifully, it really does.

at the end, you call ekugbe, maybe for drinks.

it surprises you, the light you're able to let in.

//

mari

'do you think i'll be faster than bea?'

you laugh, show ava where to put her hands on the wheels of the racing chair for maximum and most efficient torque. 'with practice, for sure.'

'gross,' she says. 'why not right away?'

'it just takes a little getting used to. but i'm certain you will, if you enjoy it.'

'well, you're ripped, so i'm enjoying it so far, that's for sure.'

you roll your eyes; you know both beatrice and ava well enough to know that ava's flirting is fun and entirely harmless. but, still, she's beautiful, so you allow yourself to preen nonetheless.

ava lets out a big breath. 'okay, let's fucking go, right?'

'i'll ride next to you for now, and then you can race beatrice.'

'sick.' she pushes a few times and picks up some speed, and you watch exactly what you'd felt yourself the first time you'd gotten into a chair like this: a big smile spreads across her face as she rounds the corner of the track without any problems. when she slows down you do too, and you're worried for a second before she just sniffles and wipes her cheeks. 'this is... this is so fun?'

'yeah,' you say. 'it's kind of the best.'

'as a kid, after i got hurt, and then, you know, after things started to get worse for me lately, i — i didn't think i could do this, ever. it's just — i feel so full. and so fast!'

'i didn't think i'd get to do this either, after i got hurt.' you'd had a complete spinal cord injury, when you were twenty, a car accident that wasn't your fault. your whole life had changed, in a split second — a track scholarship and rock climbing and snowboarding and judo evaporating, just like that, when you woke up from surgery, or at least that's what you thought. but your big sister had sat by your bedside and researched inpatient rehab, and financing, and outpatient rehab, and then, a fucking miracle in your life: paralympic racing. it's led you to do everything you loved before, just creatively, and, 'now i have four gold medals, so, here we are.'

'yeah,' ava says. 'here we fucking are!'

you reach over and high five her, and you look over to where beatrice is sitting on the bleachers; even from far away you can see her gay ass little smile at ava's joy.

'also, the gold medals?' ava says. 'extremely hot.'

you laugh. 'do you ever stop?'

ava shakes her head. 'hardwired, i'm afraid.' she frowns. 'unless, of course, you're uncomfortable, in which case i will stop immediately.'

'oh, no,' you say, 'keep going. it's fun.'

'i'm an excellent wingwoman, at any time. you just let me know.'

'i'll take you up on that soon, i'm sure.'

she laughs and takes off again, getting the hang of her form and how to lean into turns. eventually, she calls beatrice down from the bleachers; beatrice is probably one of the most terrifying athletes you've ever met, but ava's pretty fast already. they race a few times, laughing by the end, trash talking incessantly, beatrice eventually leaning down to kiss ava, both of them sweaty.

'last one back to the bleachers has to do the dishes tonight,' ava says, and takes off full tilt. she barely stops in time before ramming into the stands, but beatrice is laughing too hard to come anywhere close. it's joy, you think, in the hot sun. real joy.

//

mother superion

'so,' ava says, fidgeting in front of you, shifting from one foot to the other, rocking up on her toes. she's gotten older, a few years enough for you to be able to tell the subtle differences.

'yes, ava?'

'okay, i know this is stupid and antiquated, but, well...'

'is this a crisis of any kind?'

she shakes her head.

'then just breathe.'

she takes in a deep breath and lets it out, then sits on the bench next to you when you pat the space. 'i love beatrice.'

'i know.'

'i, well, i guess i'm asking you if i can marry her? i want to propose, and i'll do it, whatever you think, but — it would mean a lot, to me, to have your blessing.'

you hold out your hands and wait for her to take both. there is something holy in her back, something that you had thought was the most sacred thing in the world until you met her. but there is something holier, consecrate, in the way she loves — beyond the highest order you have ever known. in the way she loves you all, and life, but especially in the way she loves beatrice, one of your favorite people in the world. she died for it. you know, in a way that makes you ache, she would do it again.

but the war is over. the war is over, and you have watched them both become.

'there is nothing in this life that would make me happier than to bless your marriage, ava.'

'oh,' she breathes out, runs a hand through her hair, long now, with the tips dyed pink — just for fun! — and then smiles. 'okay. well, great. just gotta get bea to say yes then.'

you don't want to be unkind — you can feel the halo humming with ava's very genuine nerves — and so you don't laugh. instead, you ask, 'do you have a plan? a ring?'

ava lights up, and the halo's hum shifts to comfortable, warm. they'll go to switzerland, she tells you, and pulls up a picture of the ring on her phone — simple and elegant and handsome, all at once. she wraps you in a hug as you tell her so.

'i love you, ava,' you say.

she sniffles. 'i really love you.'

you feel the halo against your hand, through her sweater. 'please send me a save the date.'

//

'ava,' you say, as ava paces around their bedroom. 'bea is going to be right out there, waiting for you. after everything, you cannot possibly be nervous about this.'

she shakes her head. 'about marrying bea? definitely not.' she's in her dress, flowy lace and cotton, off-white because i'm certainly not a virgin, she had said while she was looking, and than had laughed and winked as you had rolled your eyes. 'i'm worried about the halo going off.'

you want to laugh, so hard, but it actually is an issue: most of ava and bea's friends and family don't know anything about the halo, mostly for their protection. 'i'm sure you can get all the glowing out on your honeymoon.'

ava does laugh, then, relieved. 'that's for sure.'

and it's beautiful: you get to stand in front of the altar your friend built for her partner, and you get to pray for their whole lives to be full of this stunning, soft love. they say their vows, and beatrice cries the entire time, which eventually makes ava cry, and then you cry, and then you all laugh.

'by the power vested in me by god, and the state of california,' you say, 'i now pronounce you wives.' ava laughs, delighted, and turns to bea, then looks at you impatiently. you roll your eyes. 'go ahead,' you say.

ava wastes no time, leaning forward to capture bea's lips in a sweet kiss, which beatrice lets linger long enough for a few good-natured wolf whistles from the crowd. ava kisses bea's forehead and they smile, alone in their own universe, before turning to everyone. there are cheers and you're pretty sure everyone was crying.

you get drunk on champagne at the reception and cry even more when you see beatrice in her tang jacket, when she tells you that you were right: there's no shame in loving ava; there never has been. and, a miracle, ava is hers. there are things more certain to you than faith.

'your marriage is going to last annoyingly long,' you tell her. 'i'm sure of it.'

she holds you tight. 'i'm sure of it too.'

//

salma

your aunts are the fuc—freaking coolest. not only do they visit often, but you get to visit them in california, where they live in a big house on the beach and sometimes take you to disneyland. your aunt bea teaches you to surf, and your aunt ava teaches you how to make a bunch of virgin cocktails — which you find very fun — and they both sit and do puzzles with you whenever you want, even if your brother gets bored.

your grandmother — you guess, you never met her and you've never even talked to her, but she was your dad's and beatrice's mother — dies one day. you don't really care; she apparently was a huge asshole to your aunt when she was little. your dad picks you up from school like normal, and you wait impatiently for asaad to make his way out.

your dad takes you to get ice cream and then tells you that she died. you don't care, which is maybe bad, but you don't owe her anything. people can be mean for no reason, to someone like you, to someone like your aunt bea, so you don't care.

your dad is quiet for a few days, and then your aunts visit. you do a little double take when your aunt bea takes her beanie off and her hair is shorter than you've ever seen it, but you hug her quickly, as tight as you can, your head reaching the middle of her chest — when your cat died in third grade your mom had taught you about grief, how it lasts a long time and it's okay to feel, how different cultures have different ways of expressing it. you hug your aunt ava too, and she ruffles your hair and cups your cheek. 'what's up, beautiful?' she says, and it makes you feel it, from someone so pretty: beautiful.

when you get older, your aunt bea will help you change your pronouns, and pick a new name — peace, you decide on — and she calls you her niece, which you love. when you get older, she'll be even more amazing to you, the way she's so kind in a world that hasn't been, the way she loves your dad and your brother and your mom, the way she loves your aunt ava.

for now, it's late and your aunt ava is asleep in the guest room, and your dad had kissed your forehead and gone off to the bathroom he shares with your mom. you go downstairs to get a glass of water, and you see your aunt sitting on the couch, peacoat rumpled and very still and, if your dad's breath was anything to go by, probably pretty drunk.

she looks up when she hears you, and then smiles gently, a little unfocused. you sit next to her, rub your hand along her buzzed hair with a laugh, and it gets her to laugh too. 'you look cool.'

she kisses your forehead. 'that's very kind.'

you play with her fingers, with the ring there, warm even though it's cold outside. 'you know,' you say, 'you've made the world safer for me.'

the sound that leaves her is between a laugh and a sob. you want to be smaller, just for a moment, so you could climb into her lap like you used to when she was little.

'i'm really sorry your mother sucked balls.'

then there's definitely a laugh: 'did aunt ava teach you that?'

you grin into her shoulder. 'i can neither confirm nor deny.'

she tugs you to her, buries her face in your hair for a moment and then wipes her cheeks.

'i'm glad i'm like you,' you say, the best you can for now.

'oh, darling,' she says, then swallows so she doesn't start crying again, you're pretty sure, 'i'm so glad. you are such a light in this world. don't let anyone let you believe you aren't wonderful.'

'i won't,' you say, a prayer, like you kneel and understand with your mom; a promise.

'and, you can always call me.'

'ew, on the phone?'

she laughs. 'or text, if you must.'

you burrow into her side even further. 'i'll call, aunt bea. i always will.'

//

g-d

of course, if there's anything you know, it's blessings.

you know beloved; you know holy. people call you by different names, all falling short, all trying to grasp at you. you know beloved, and worship, and belief.

you look down on them sometimes, because you can. ava — her name the familiar of eve; the meaning in a sacred language, life; something divine against her will in her back; one of your children who had faced more cruelty than she should have — laughs, every day. even on days that hurt for her, she smiles and she laughs and there is a love there: for your world, for its waves and the sun and stars and moon; she, too, sees that it is good. beatrice, gentle and unsure and certain, prays to you still, and to ava, which you don't begrudge her. she worships every day, the most faithful on earth.

of course, there are things you let run their course, the small joys and small miseries: swimming in the ocean, chocolate cake, the first fall of snow; traffic jams and broken wrists and lilith. there are some things even you can't entire shift: ava's broken back and the heaviness in beatrice's mind sometimes. but you watch them, from time to time, in their house on a beach that brings them wonder, when they visit the mountains and fall asleep in front of a warm fireplace, listening to a record that skips before you step in and turn the machine off.

you'll let them grow old together, of course — greying hair and ava's impatience with politics and beatrice's stiff knees in the cold. there's time, for the halo and for all of it, but ava died to save the world, once. ava died for love, and she lives for it too.

in this life, they say to each other, quietly and often. you let things run its course but you step in, from time to time: you will give them peace. they'll want more of them, greedy, and perhaps you'll let them — and the next and the next and the next.

but, of course, this life, this life — you make sure it's a good one.

[randomnameless]

Land 3 and 4 done!

Elves and furries!

Or the worst double standard with Alcina's tragick backstory while Gary eats scraps, and Reimann puts devoted Fodlan fans to shame with his bias against subhumans!

Elheim was...

Very green compared to Drakengard lol, however the interactions between the characters felt... stale.

I mean, compared to the constant back and forth + exposition from Virginia about how cities are different from Cornia, who is Gilbert, the people living in the desert and all, for the first part of the plot, we just follow Rosalinde, a dark elf, to meet her sister so she we can save her from the bad guys, and ask her where is the second magic mc Guffin ring.

Sure, we rescue some villages and characters along the way, but they aren't, imo, as integrated in their setting as the Drakengard ones. Still, we find former thieves/brigands/bandits Alain decided to spare in Cornia - and apparently they want to turn over a new leaf, so when their old gang wants to sell elf ladies (young and not so young) as slaves, they rebel and we deal with them.

I guess the difference in setting/atmosphere is due to Drakengard, well, being conquered by the bad guys, but it feels like they just conquered it and left it there, not really caring about it.

In Elheim, they're still around - it can be sort of explained by the fact that Drakengard was conquered 6 years ago (Cornia, Alain's home was done in 10 years and Bastorias was subjugated 8 years ago) when the conquest of Elheim is supposed to be more recent? - but I guess it plays/is due to the main boss of this area's agenda -

Unlike Cornia and the small villages here and there, or Drakengard and the large cities sprawled on mountainsides, here the cities are located kind of far from each other, with a lot of forests/green/lakes/small mountains around - it makes for long maps without a lot of stuff to seize, but at the same time, it means you have to check your stamina more frequently so it's different enough to be a regional difference compared to the previous setting.

The units are... something - all jokes aside, having units deal both magic and physical damage was a nightmare for my poor 0 res armors lol, but I reckon they can be kind of useful with the proper setup, too bad the "proper setup" was something I never found and actually, I like how the game still gives you "human classes" enemies too (from the evil empire, like a red loldier) so you're not only fighting against elves, but also against the same kind of enemies (albeit promoted) than you did before, and they use mixed teams like ones with elves and humans, to make you sure have to still rethink your strategies and can't send the same team you used in the former land and expect the same results.

The BGM though... is sort of there - a bit disappointing compared to Drakengard's but I got a newfound appreciation after hearing the final boss' theme The Witch's World, it's not the banger Heir of the Dragonlands was but the fantasy/dream TWW conveys made me realise what Elheim was all about (hell those titles have a meaning lol) :

Drakengard's final theme is all about Gilbert reclaiming his castle and being the true heir of his country, not by birthright but when push came to shove, he stood up and restored the country. Which is why Drakengard had some exposition and character drama centered on Gilbert, his family and helping him.

Elheim is, as sad as it is... all about Alcina's fantasy/dream, her downfall and a sense of tragedy, both because of what she used to be, and what she actually did for the sake of her dream.

Regarding Alcina, I'll try to keep the sodium levels to minimum but :

@megafan1993 I know your comment wasn't under an Unicorn Overlord post lol, but this is basically my feelings regarding Alcina, and the comparison with the boss of the following arc stings even more, all things considered.

Who is Alcina?

A witch who acted as the court witch/mage of Cornia (MC's land!) who has the "uses magic to not grow old too fast but will eventually" syndrome, and was around during the time of MC's grandpa, a dude named Gerard.

King Gerard knew how to use his sword very well - to the point of being called a sword saint! - and liked to use it "for the good of the people", but he was the kind of guy who didn't like doing King work, found his coronation a nice distraction and didn't like when his PM modified his bills/papers etc etc. Pissed with the life of a King, especially since he felt like he couldn't do what he wanted, he left the land, without warning anyone, to explore "Cornia" and see what her people needs, only taking Alcina with him : effectively ditching the country - but no worries, his father was still around !

Exploring the land, Gerard finds himself in an ambush/skirmish against Drakengard - the neighoubing nations with whom Cornia has had border issues/problems for centuries - and takes an arrow meant for Alcina, thus dies unceremonously.

Alcina returns to Cornia and people are starting rumours, like how she had been the king's "favourite" and how the situation sucks, because now Gerard left his kid daughter* (whom he never mentionned even once in all of his voiced lines) Ilenia (MC's mom) alone to assume the role of the ruler of Cornia**.

Now, Alcina was pretty much in luf with King Gerard, so much that when Ilenia faces a rebellion (aka the prologue) and asks for her help, Alcina accepts to help her, because Ilenia is King Gerard's daughter.

Then...

Ilenia is supposedly "dead", Cornia has fallen and the Gharnef-like Baltro tells her (or she deduces it herself?) that his magic doesn't turn people crazy, but use people as mediums to put foreign/other souls inside them and take control of the bodies. It's more like a channeling magic.

Seeing the possibility to be reunited with her Gerard-poo again, Alcina switches sides and joins with the evil Zenoiran Empire, but she has her own agenda you see?

Alain lived peacefully on a small island because Alcina, who knew where he was, never told anything to the evil Zenoiran Empire people. It's not out of the goodness of her heart, hell no. Alcina had an interest in keeping Alain alive... because she planned to use him/his body to channel Gerard's soul inside - with the added bonus that Alain is a pallet swap of his grandpa.

She knew Gerard would most likely despise her for using his grandson as a medium to bring him back (from the lines we got spoken by the guy, I doubt it, he never mentions his kid!children not even once, why would he suddenly care about his grandson?) but she just wanted to hear/see him one last time sad uwus

(which raises a fucking giant red flag, Alcina who knows this and knows Ilenia's body isn't around, would obviously have guessed she was too, used as a medium for a Zenoiran soul much like Renault and Hodrick! So, with that knowledge, she wouldn't have tried to find a way to save her? Especially since she came to her in her "direst time of need" in the first place! I guess seeing Gerard >>> saving his daughter, after all the man himself never gave a fuck about said daughter...)

I don't have the exact timeline, but Alcina then accepts to march on Elheim - which resisted the Empire because they elves protect their land with a magical forest, and only taught a select few humans they are friendly with and trust a lot how to cross it, but could never have guessed that Alcina would later turn on them! - and leads the evil empire there with a dude named Gary, the land is conquered and while Eltrinde, the current elf leader (the eng/european script comes up with a lot of "exclusive" elven words, in the script she's called a turenos (??) but the jp!audio just has her be a "miko", I guess mikos don't sound elvish enough to the western lolcalisers and of course they couldn't translate her title by the word "sibyl", aka her class name :/) surrendering to avoid casualties...

Nothing is heard about her, save for Rosalinde (Eltrinde's twin sister!) who worries about her, and we believe when we face her that she's also possessed like the other people we used to fight against (by, and it'll later be revealed, ancient Zenoiran souls channeled by Baltro's magic in those bodies) but no, Eltrinde was possessed by... Alcina herself!

"But why would she need an elven body? She already has hers!"

Apparently, given some clues here and there (Yana - Alcina's apprentice - rapport conversation with Rosalinde), we can surmise that Alcina wanted an elven body to get a longer lifespan without needing to use the dangerous "rejuvenation aka turning from a dried old fig to a stripper" spell.

Tl;Dr : Alcina wanted to have her romance/spend time with Gerard again, using Alain and Eltrinde's bodies as mediums, even if it means dooming the elven kingdom and the world in general -

And oh boy do we see the elves being doomed, because while the two other human countries had a suspicious "plague" going on, here Baltro - like our beloved Riev - drops any sort of subtelty behind his title as a necromancer, and revives elves he previously killed to fight the party, which enrages both Eltrinde and Rosalinde (a feat, because so far their plot mandated interactions where very lackluster, their reunion scene had no pathos or similarity to the Drakengard brothers or even Virginia reuniting with her long lost cousin!) and they swear to take him - and Alcina - down.

Ultimately, after Baltro rewarps away like the good dark mage he is, we fight Alcina - who saved both Alain and Eltrinde from Baltro and prevented a game over lol because she still wants their bodies for her uwu ritual - and both the map song (witch's world) + her various FB's and ultimately Yana asking her to rest in peace after she's killed participate in selling us the "tragic/doomed by love" vibe about Alcina, like, the tragedy is about her, this arc is about her, hell, the entire Elheim plot is about her.

I guess I already let some salt flow lol, but even if this isn't as hamfisted as Hresvelg Grey, I felt like this was a disappointment and a bit of a letdown compared to Drakengard's story.

Double-standard hour : I was loitering on redshit to find some stuff and I saw so many people trashtalk some dude called "Gailey" that I wanted to know what was his story and...

(FR-wise at least, "Gailey" is Gary lol.)

So, Gary was Unicorn Overlord's take on FE8's Carlyle, without the sympathy he had for Joshua.

Gary was very devoted to Queen Ilenia and part of her guard, when she "died" - pretty sure that if Alcina knew, she would never told him the truth - to him Cornia died, because there's no Cornia without Ilenia as its ruler.

So Gary accepts to work with Zenoira because his queen is dead, apparently he does this conquering stuff well enough to be distinguished during the Drakengard campaign, and is sent to Elheim with Alcina.

Alcina however is the main villain while Gary is a sidekick, and is relegated as such which pisses him - and he knows she is the one possessing Eltrinde! - but our party arrives, and he wants to take our head.

It doesn't work, apparently Galvius (the evil emperor who conquered everything and is the red emperor !) doesn't like it when his troops lose and Gary knows that if he returns to him, he'll be executed, but also can't remain in Elheim else the rebels will kill him and can't escape from that land due to the magic forest surrounding it (the one no one could cross save for elves and their trusted friends!).

To get rid of the magic forest, Gary thus decides to burn the "super magic tree" that gives power to the forest and fairies living inside who are also the source of power for the elves.

Alain's party finds Gary and kills him... or at least planned to do so, because he runs away after we rekt him and is actually killed by one of his soldiers (who wanted to bring his head to Galvius and explain that if the rebels got them, it's only because Gary was incompetent!). He has last words not to Alain, but to Jeigan Joseph and the other former members of Cornia's knights - they ask Gary why he betrayed and it's here that he tells them that he never betrayed Cornia, because Cornia died when Ilenia did, thus he had/felt no attachment/reason to fight for Alain.

He has the last word to Joseph though - who pulled a Finn when he escaped with kid!Alain while Ilenia fought (apparently to her death) to give him an opening - saying Joseph has no right to judge him, because when Ilenia was fighting for her life (and apparently died), Gary was by her side until the end (he was in her team) fighting for and with her, while Joseph ran away.

And we know - after Virginia's sidequest - that Joseph still feels guilty about having left Ilenia and escaped with Alain, wondering if their places couldn't have been reversed and if she should be the one alive, but he listened to her orders back then (something he doesn't reveal to Gary!).

In a nutshell, Gary had most likely unrequited feelings for his queen, did his best to save/protect her and fought with her, but when she died he felt like his world did and from that point dgaf about the world or what it was supposed to become.

Alcina... most likely had (unrequited ?) feelings for her king, felt like trash when he died and she couldn't save him, thus abandonned her job and while she did help his daughter at one time, in the end she was willing to see the world and her king's family burn to get another chance to live her love story with him.

They are pretty similar, but somehow treated differently when both did horrible stuff, however only Alcina gets the "tragedy sad uwus" framing when Gary dies unceremonously.

Yeah :/

Not find of that plot arc.

In their rapport conversations, the elves are more interesting than what their plot interaction led to believe and I liked the devs adding maybe like 70% of the elven npcs around being sort of assholish and quite biased because Alain'n'pals are "humans" and have a huge superiority complex regarding the rest of the continent (watermelon time for that one NPC who calls Bestrals "unclean" or "corrupted" like dude, what do you have against bunnies?).

-------

I heard Vanillaware rushed the ending of the game because they had a money problem or something, and well, Bastorias shows it lol.

We have maybe 5 plot quests - sidequests you are supposed to unlock way way later lol - and a cast of 3 characters who talk in turn, but don't really exchange or interact with the NPCs or the rest of the cast found there.

So yeah, I can see where the rush was lol

And yet, I still prefered the Bastorias arc -

First because while the maps are also as empty as the Elheim ones in cities and all, well I sort of prefer the "vast snowfields" vibe to the "large forests" one, even if I confess I really liked seeing/talking to the various people around - even if it was only for a sidequest (tfw a dude wants to sell Laguz slaves).

Second, because the BGM is both relaxing and yet foreboding/mysterious enough to keep you focused, even if I confess, I pressed + during some fights when wereowls were busy giving each other blue points lol

Oh, and werefoxes were... I won't judge people based on their kinks, but personnally, I was kind of weirded out by their sprites, like when I can crack jokes at F!Elven Fencers like "if they fall on their back they can't stand anymore like turtles if you flap them over", werefoxes are just... uh yeah. Not my cup of tea.

Plot-wise, Alain wants to get rid of Zenoira in this region too so it will diminish their forces (ludonarrative point : if you don't do Bastorias and go to the final map, Reimann pops us as a reinforcement unit with the feral plot characters you're supposed to meet in Bastorias, aka feral!Ramona and feral!Morad :( I guess Yunifi died alone, I hope she wasn't killed by her adoptive parents !) but everyone realises that there's some "illness" or stuff that makes some Bestral go mad/feral (does this remind you of something?) and while some pop up as yellow units who attack everything on sight, through the plot we later learn that it's not "illness" at all!

Much like the best Gharnef out there (sorry for your poll @crushednugget, but I believe science should have won!), Reimann - a former Cornian noble who was part of the band of traitors who sided against Ilenia in the prologue - uses his science + a magic rock to turn the animal people in feral versions of themselves to control them, and calls himself a genius while also revealing that this magic rock that those lowly subhumans only thought was a shiny rock that belonged to the lion (thus royal) tribe was actually the magic rock that makes people able to control the Bestrals (the subhumans).

We even have one rapport conversation from Joseph, that suggests that Reimann might have been involved in trafficking/enslaving/experimenting on subhumans before the game's events, as he was already trying to get his hands on Bestrals during Ilenia's reign!

Unlike Izuka though.... Reimann is betrayed by one of his "allies" - much like Gary! - who was... under his suit of armor... a bestral himself!

(Cucumber lolcalisation point : Eligor, when first met is talking to this place's Batta the Beast and at one point is pissed/haughty/upset and calls Batta a human - but in the jp!audio, I didn't hear any "ningen" mention at all. Eligor blows his cover in the us/eu script, but not in the jp version!)

Eligor is a rat bestral, and Bastorias has some sort of hierarchy/class system based on which kind of Bestral you are - cats are fishermen, owls are the "wise mayors", bears, foxes and wolves are fighters (but polar bears are selling weapons!) goats are innkeepers etc etc.

While it's upsetting that we never hear anything from the numerous NPCs around about the "rat tribe", given how Bastorias is presented we it's not that farfetched that rats were indeed seen as lesser or not as important/valuable as lion bestrals.

The Rat Tribe was captured by Baltro who used them for experiments to make them sturdier/stronger, everyone lost their mind save for Eligor who seems to be thankful to Baltro-sama to give him the means to reach his dream : become the King of Bastorias even if he is a member of the rat tribe.

As Morad (a lion!) tells him though, while his dream and ideals about making Bastorias a place for everyone to live with pride etc etc, he still tells Eligor that he resorted to stupid/ridiculous methods (aka mind controlling and sending hundred of bestrals to death fighting against each other and being a fucking member of Zenoira!) and would have prefered if they worked together, to which Eligor tells him that he dgaf, because even if it only lasted for the duration of the final battle, he finally got what he wanted being the King of Bastorias and commanding people thanks to the shiny magic rock.

No uwu sobest for Eligor unlike the gallons of tea we had to drink for Alcina though, maybe that's why i can appreciate this arc more lol

I think the nod to the reveal about Eligor being a rat and this arc wasn't the lolcalisation adding shit, but the sidequest with the... Rock Rats - former bandits Alain spared in Cornia lol - when you recruit/want to recruit the leader who's basically Robin Hood, he tells you that even if Alain started his quest with 5 people and thus isn't like the other evil Nobles (tm), you should always worry about someone who started from scratch and managed to become a leader, because they will cling to power and forget why they wanted it in the first place.

...That's basically Eligor's story, as told by another, metaphorical, rat!

Battle theme a Fleeting Dream is the general Bastorias overworld theme, with imo, the earlier feelign of something ominous being played/schemed and its climax - it's the same mystery/foreboding feeling we got in the overworld map, but with a feeling that "something is going on". A good catch for Eligor's plot and this arc in general, even if it was rushed.

Anyways after his death, more plot reveals - Morad the friendly (uhh) lion we met who acted as one of the main characters from this arc was actually a human changed in a lion with the power of the shiny magic rock, and the human girl, Yunifi, who was adopted by Ramona (owl mom) and Morad (lion dad) is very heavily implied to have been a lion princess herself, but turned in a human!

Nod to Fodlan discourse : upon finding Reimann's notes and researches about how to use the shiny magic rock to control bestrals - everyone in the cast agrees with Ramona's suggestion to burn those notes!

No "uwu censorship BaD" or "creature masquerading as a human is attempting to hide knowledge to keep humans ignorant!" -> those "researches" are basically some "how to perform mindcontrol and turn people against each other in 5 steps" lessons, so they are destroyed for the sake of everyone, the shiny magic rock will forever remain a shiny magic rock, and not a tool to control the minds of anyone else.

Gameplay wise :

The Bestrals have a gimmick where they are more powerful/get more mobility during nighttime, but some of their classes are more similar to the human ones than the elven ones.

I still have to use/play around the werefoxes and the werewolves, so far I only used the lion, the bear and the owl and while I know Yunifi has an unique class and can be built in a certain way to be completely broken...

I don't have enough medals to make more than 3 teams of 5 characters rofl - but I'll definitely try to play with some builds!

----

Oh and in general, I guess i forgot to mention in the "this was rushed" part, but while we can see the rush - I still am flabbergasted at some details the devs added like, hm, the fact that when you use a skill that summons rain in Bastorias - aka tundra land - you don't get rain but snow!

Or the completely random stuff I just noticed today (tfw after 50h you still notice and learn something knew), when you pick a squad captain, the sigil/banner for that squad in the "battle screen" is the one of the "captain" of that squad!

So yeah, even if they're fighting in Alain's Liberation army, some characters still retain their identity and banners - Gilbert's team has the Drakengard sigil, Eltrinde/Rosalinde has the Elheim one and... Travis has the Tricorns (his bandit/merc group!) one lol

*Given how Virginia is Alain's cousin and Ilenia's niece, it means Gerard must have had two kids, assuming primogeniture works, Virginia's parent, must have been younger than Ilenia which means Gerard basically left his two children and role/duties as a king behind him because he was upset that people were disappointed in him/kept on meddling with his duties as a king.

**Through various supports and lines popping up here and there, we learn that while some people loved Ilenia and thought she ruled wisely and justly, some other people were very critical of her, given how she became Queen young and wasn't as battle-hungry as her dad before her : Tl;Dr, dying like a moron after ditching his throne, Gerard abandoned his daughter who had to face the same adversities - if not more - than he did, but she pulled through. I'll have to check the audio when I'll reach that moment to see if there's hidden salt, but she has a line to Alain in the True Ending where she's basically all "I'm not going to miss my son's coronation" and, well, with the knowledge that Gerard was crap, I wonder if Ilenia resented him a bit lol

[dg-outlaw]

Emotional Damage. Worse than the Joker?

After sitting with Batman #138, I got to thinking about how much emotional damage Bruce inflicted on Jason with what he did to Jason. Working through some things myself lately, I thought more about fear and how it relates to survival, endurance, and the hang-ups we have that affect our lives. But less about me and more about Jason Todd.

Yes, I know there’s the idea that it’s all Zur-En-Arrh and not really Bruce, but still. If there was something to snap Bruce out of whatever battle is going on in his mind, mentally altering (without consent) and "abusing" his own son in such a deep way, should’ve been it.

I know some have cited how adrenaline kicks in during all sorts of activities and scenarios (and not just in times of violence or aggression), which is true, but what I thought about was how much adrenaline and will has played a part in Jason’s overall survival as a character.

As a boy who grew up in Crime Alley with a drug addicted mother, Catherine, that he cared for often, his childhood was probably filled with fear. But giving into fear is something that likely doesn’t help you survive in Crime Alley, especially when Jason became orphaned. He fended for himself, took care of Catherine until she died, and then took care of himself. He was probably afraid all the time, but he pushed through with adrenaline, cortisol, and whatever else he needed to survive.

Then Bruce happened. As Jason Todd he was given a bit of peace, but then it was back to survival mode as a Robin—though likely a choice he made with Bruce’s approval because what little boy wouldn’t want to be Robin? The role of Robin alone is all about adrenaline, survival, and combatting fear.

Then there was the Joker.

We all know the story, but I think about it again as I see posts about the young actress who played Ahsoka in the live-action series and how it helped some contextualize the idea of child soldiers and just how young Ahsoka was during the Clone Wars. The same can be said for the Robins. So now we can think about a young, scrawny boy, alone in a warehouse getting beaten nearly to death by a psychopath with a crowbar. Again, fear, loneliness, and potential loss of hope. But Jason endured, and even in the end tried to save himself and his mother through use of adrenaline and sheer force of will.

Flash forward and Jason is suddenly alive, still broken and bruised but basically buried alive. More fear and another chance to let it finish him off, but Jason doesn’t give in. He pushes fear aside, breaks through his casket, and crawls out from his grave. Again, still a teenager and still alone as he wandered the streets, confused and hungry. All of this to say that Jason is fucking survivor, probably more so than Bruce (IMO).

Bruce may have harnessed and used his fear, but he suppresses it. Jason owns it, lives it, and has had it looking over his soldier for as long as he can probably remember. It probably whispers in his ear all the time and says, “You’re still just a scared little boy and you’re going to die. Just give up.” But he doesn’t. Yes, he’s easily written off as the angry one or the one always pissing everyone off, but I think that’s just his defense mechanism. It’s the wall that hides his fear, but unlike Bruce he wears his heart on his sleeve and isn’t afraid to let his emotions out, even when he tries not to. I want to believe those behaviors are Jason venting his fear and anger so they don’t consume him or so he doesn't get hurt, even if he doesn’t always do it in the most healthy of ways.

So yeah, for Bruce to think that somehow Jason is going to live some happy American Dream in Metropolis (God forbid any aliens or bad guys attack that city, something that never happens), then Bruce still doesn’t know his son.

In way, whether it’s all Zur-En-Arrh’s doing or not, turning Jason’s adrenaline into crippling fear, taking a core part of him that has kept him alive and fighting all these years, is worse than what the Joker did.

So I don’t think any amount of Bat or Big Belly burgers and hugs will fix that. My only hope, based on the description for Red Hood, Issue #2: (JASON TODD PREPARES FOR BATTLE! Batman's plan for Jason Todd backfires…but in a good way? The Red Hood prepares for the final battle of the Gotham War…but what will he have left when the dust settles?!), is that Jason finds a way to overcome Bruce’s programming on his own. I think if Bruce created a failsafe for the failsafe, or if one of the other Batfam members helps him, it’ll cheapen his character. I’m fine if someone is there to support him, but I think if the writers want to respect Jason and show his strength as a character, it’ll be Jason doing the work to prove his will is stronger than Bruce’s when he beats the fear programming. We even see this in a different way in Urban Legends when Jason was able to fight off the Cheer gas to save Bruce.

But for now, when I see this.

I’ll think about this Bruce and Jason instead.