#even though like 3/4 of my followers have been inactive for like four years

[greatwrath]

I really want to update my theme/pages, because I realize it's been like seven years since I started this blog, but it is so much work and I don't have time like I used to when I was a teenager.

[knighteclipsed]

happy anniversary!!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is. Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing! Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Template originally by Neffi!

Name: Kano!! (i often stylize it as 'kano!!' bc lowercase and exclamations cool)

Pronouns: they/it/he (but really, so long as it isn't 'she/her' and it isn't unclear who is being referred to, i don't really care what i'm called 😂)

Birthday (no year): May 6th!

Where are you from? What is your time zone? I've got Haitian heritage, but I was born and raised in Georgia of USA! Timezone is still TOAST✨

(more under the cut,)

How long is your roleplay experience? As long as my TOA experience pretty much :joy: (So, uh, basically just over 2 years HAHA) I did do some roleplay on like. Amino when I was 11. but i didn't really enjoy it or do it much willingly haha

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? My sister was super baller (she would do Minecraft roleplay on her computer) :sungals:✨

How were you introduced to TOA? Dewa's Dimitri art showed up in Tumblr's Dimitri hashtag!! I scrolled through the blog, saw it was a roleplay one, and my Instagram-pilled mind thought she had stolen someone else's art :crylaugh: (I, uh, quickly realized while trying to confirm that the art style was consistent and the subject matter was too niche [thinking of Dimitri dancing with someone at the Ethereal Ball], so whoever this 'mun' person was must've just been really good haha) Over the course of roughly 4 or so months, I learned how narrative rp worked, encountered some of the other blogs in TOA and even followed the masterlist itself! I ended up joining when I saw the previous Linhardt had just been booted for inactivity fdnsjkfnsd

Do you have any pets? Nope! I do have a plant though. I named her Vyse (yes, after the Valorant agent HER PETALS LOOK LIKE VYSE'S METAL FLOWERS) 💞

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) Spring! Winter is much too cold for my taste, and summer is good but certainly pushes my tolerance for heat haha. My birthday's in spring though, which tiebroke between it and autumn haha.

What is your IRL occupation? I'm a college student! (The job search is real.....)

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? Writing. Reading. Roleplay 😂 (Offering actual info: I love programming! I draw a lot. I like making/listening to music. Love and light <3)

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Baldur's Gate 3 GWAHAHA. (i have a lot of unfinished saves on other games tho: Hades(? made it out several times tho), Triangle Strategy, and the first Ori fnjkdjskf)

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: i don't. pokemon. i did once use Mew (the discord bot) tho and i really liked my Wartortle :] i also have a giant holographic Espeon card and the eeveelutions are unsurprisingly my bias GWAHAHA Honestly tho my answers are probably the same as last year--dragon and dark. Squirtle, Wartortle, Gible fndsjkf

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! (Optional bonus challenge: if you filled this out last year, try not to repeat what you said back then!) I shared my programming endeavors last year! Also some math stuff so--I play a shit ton of D&D. I've got three regular campaigns going on; might be four if my workload isn't too much :weary: I DM one of those games and am a PC in the other two--the fourth would also be a game I DM, which is why I'm working with my schedule to solve this fdnsjkfn

How did you get into Fire Emblem? Played Smash Brawl on the Wii, was suggested by Kai (WHO WRITES KLIFF RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) to play more characters than just Sheik, and while he was wrong to suggest Ike, he was right about Marth. Later I followed him to Fire Emblem Heroes, then Sacred Stones, and then Three Houses--that's when I properly became an FE fan haha.

What Fire Emblem games have you played? Finished (in order): Three Houses, Sacred Stones, Engage Started (in order): Shadows of Valentia, Awakening demo, Binding Blade in Japanese, Binding Blade in English, SOV again, Genealogy of the Holy War, Awakening (the full game), also Shadow Dragon in English--that's it i think :joy:

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: First was Sacred Stones! My first finished was Three Houses tho haha. Favorite is one of those two or Engage idk GWAHAHA

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! I think Valter successfully stole first place, then Dimitri, Amber, Diamant, and then Linhardt or Selena (FE8) fndsjkf

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! Dimitri! I picked his allegiance in FEH as a joke (I wanted someone to ask and myself to respond 'he's pretty :]' bc imo it'd be MAD FUNNY but then we got 3H for real and I ended up liking him a lot GWAHAH)

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 Dimitri. Diamant. no one else i don't think but maybe if I ever play Fates something might happen with Kaze 😂

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: N/A - Fates: haven't played but it would probably be Kaze - Three Houses: Dimitri; Yuri is the next on my list but if we aren't looking at my completionist ass he'd be competing with a Dimitri rerun 😂 - Engage: Diamant! And probably Diamant again haha

Favorite Fire Emblem class? idfk i told someone Mortal Savant recently. it might be Wyvern Knight tho they're scrunkly :softsmile:

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? Either a sword user or a mage! I would be playable, and I'd be strong in magic stats while pretty weak physically. (Imagine a swordmaster like that fgndjsfnsdf) No idea what class specifically but I'd probably be unpromoted on recruit!

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? (Black Eagles, Blue Lions, Golden Deer, Church of Seiros, Those Who Slither in the Dark, unaffiliated civilian, other - for example Almyran) Blue Lions. long live King Dimitri 🙏✨

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? Boons - probably Reason and Authority? Banes - Heavy Armor fndjkfn maybe Axes as well!! Budding Talent - Flying (the fear of heights go crazyyyy but i do love the thrill 🥺)

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? (Firene, the Kingdom of Abundance; Brodia, the Kingdom of Might; Elusia, the Kingdom of Knowledge; Solm, the Queendom of Freedom; Lythos, the holy land of the Divine Dragon; Gradlon, the desolate land of the Fell Dragon) I'd be a Brodian sniveling about the cold 24/7 (affectionate)

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔(separate letters, to-ah, other?) Separate letters! It's intuitive to me.

Current TOA muses: Valter and Selena (FE8)!

Past TOA muses? Linhardt as of last moon, Colm as of a year ago in two days!

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Linhardt! And I could totally see him coming back, but he'd need a longgggg nap first fndjksnf

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) People with really strong emotions seems to be the trend? Even in the case of Linhardt and Selena (who are generally more muted in their expression), they have strong determinations; characters that are particularly tragic are also to my liking. (Also if their dialogue is scaaaaawy I'll probably end up liking them HAHA) Not really changed since last year haha.

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? Not really? Though I will say my ability to write Selena is kind of a miracle; I generally have a difficult time understanding femininity and womanhood, but maybe it's that Selena is trans that makes it a lot more intuitive to me dfnjksf Either way, she's a good bridge into woman writing I like her a lot :softsmile:

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) Last time I just wrote I like dialogue! With the question slightly rephrased--I like confrontational scenes a lot actually fndjskfnds I realize a lot of folks find confrontation difficult/stressful to navigate, but I am mildly insane and slurp that shit up onb!! Say something absolutely horrendous! Slam someone into a wall (or the floor or some furniture) GWAHAHA!! (For the sake of transparency: Don't actually just walk into my inbox and start fighting my muses. I value the narrative a lot and would rather it come from somewhere and not be Too much fndsjkfnd I talk about this on Valter's mun page especially.) I like when characters don't get along! It's interesting! I love conflict! The big downside to this being my favorite is that you have to be really careful to navigate people's boundaries, but I'm willing to sort that out--just chat with me!! I only bite friends!!

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? Two answers for my present muses: for Valter, I want him to betray Maria (bc he's a fucking asshole and I want him to deal with the consequences of that fndsjkfns); for Selena, I'd really like a Glen here :oldplead: (this is not a scenario but genuinely if she found out Glen died actually she would be very sad!! get her with the emotions 🫵)

Favorite TOA-related memories? Nat and Dewa recognizing me as the Linhardt reserve just because I kept liking all of Dewa's stuff (including an arena thread with Nat's Linoan) 😭😭😭, Sirius rolling Valter as his liege in KKE, Colm getting dressed up by old ladies par Lloyd (Midsommar), Ree asking N if he was okay with writing body horror (Unscripted), Selena failing to kill "Vigarde" (AO), Valter and L'Arachel taking a million years to leave a burning classroom!!, Linhardt's Whole Friendship with Sophia, Linus slamming the Moonstone into a wall (and the floor), Valter getting chased by a giant Pikachu (Midsommar), Selena and Mlear :softsmile: (and by extension: Selena meeting Flear :crylaugh:), Valter beefing with EVERYONE (and also maybe stabbing Alfred? (he didn't)), Colm and Pelleas friendship 🥺, and the list goes on!

Present or past tense? Generally past tense? It changes mid-post a lot though; actions my muses are actively committing as present tense, but actions immediately past are generally. past. fndsjkfn It makes sense to me i prommy 🙏✨

Normal size text, small text, no preference? No preference! But I write in normal text unless asked to write otherwise; I don't take issue with the default size

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 Chat y'all already know.

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n and ranboo

this is an extra part to the great adventures series

summary: part two to the angst imagine (the not so great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo) it’s a happier ‘ending’ please read what is written in bold

this is an “alternative ending” around 15 years into the future this doesn’t mean this is actually how the series is going to end im writing it now and including it as part of series as their friendship is already established i can confirm y/n and the group are going to have a happy ending when the series eventually comes to an end this also does not mean the series is anywhere near the end i plan on continuing the series as vlogs come out, i feel the need to confirm this now love between y/n and ranboo in this imagine is completely platonic

it had been about a month since you last streamed whereas ranboo continued to stream a few days after the fallout as he wanted to make sure you were going to be okay. even though ranboo knew this huge fallout would eventually happen, it still hurt him, especially since he knew there was no way to prevent it, the four of you in the same house mixed with the stress of being some of the most-watched content creators made living rather difficult. it was like walking on eggshells as you didn’t want to interrupt someone's stream, then there was the additional stress of obsessive fans finding out where the four of you lived, you still remember that day very vividly. you were sat in between tubbo and ranboo watching the office whilst Tommy was in an interview when you received a message from your mod.

Chris: hey y/n I received this message earlier I don’t want to scare you, but maybe get the locks changed. someone sent a message claiming this is your address *image of message from ‘fan’*

it didn’t take long for tubbo and ranboo to receive a message from their mods saying the same thing

“holy shit...”

“chances are Tommy has the message too. we shall go check around the house when Tommy is done with the interview.”

luckily no one ever showed up to the house, but the fact some people were so obsessed to the point they found your address was enough to put everyone in the house on edge. and now it was just you and ranboo in the house. you didn’t feel safe as even though ranboo promised to not let anything happen, you didn’t wanna risk it.

“we should move. there’s no point in having such a big house for two people, what are we going to use the extra space for heh? hide and seek with people who have our address. no thank you. I say we move leave this mess behind and start completely over, hell I’d feel safer in the us and that’s saying something”

ranboo agreed the house didn’t have the happiest memories attached to it anymore, it hurt walking past the hallway as it would bring back the memory of him crying into the crook of y/ns neck whilst tubbo left the house.

“let’s do it, I’ll do an early stream then we can look for houses. go take a shower. I’ll stay close to the door so you’re safe, then you can stay in my room whilst I stream, you can join me if you would like.”

“you’re being very protective all of a sudden...let me guess you got the message from our mods announcing the obsessive fans are at it again?”

“go take a shower.”

“no.”

ranboo ended up picking you up, carried you to the bathroom and turned the shower on before putting you on your feet.

“quick shower I’ll see you later.”

and with that he left the room shutting the door behind him, 30 minutes later you got changed and followed ranboo to his room ready to join him whilst he streams

“hey boo, can I join you? I kinda wanna get into streaming again.”

“I'm so glad you asked, I was going to do a face cam stream, if that’s okay?”

“of course.”

you grabbed his mask and glasses whilst he locked the door so you were both safe. “here you go.”

“thank you.”

the pair of you started the stream and it was honestly going well, you were having so much fun you forgot about all the negative things currently going on, you began to understand why ranboo continued streaming as for those 2-4 hours of streaming it felt as though everything was back to normal. 3 hours later the two of you ended stream and Twitter went crazy. tweets ranged from fans talking about how ranboo was streaming with you, how Tommy was in chat, and how tubbo was modding as people who mentioned anything about their address being leaked were banned by tubbo. the one thing that caught ranboos eye was fan art and a picture of you both from the stream captioned ‘they’re platonic soulmates your honour’ ranboo went as far to like, retweet and comment on it.

ranaltboo: glad you liked the stream it was great having y/n back, think I might make them play tattletail next stream

definitelynoty/n: isn’t that the Furby game that terrified you in 2021? bring it on boo!

Twitter went crazy over this interaction, you had finally come back to social media after months of being inactive, and it looked like you were here to stay. a month later you and ranboo moved out of the house and sold it to your aunt and her wife and their three adopted children, you explained the situation and even changed the locks for them all before they moved in.

“Please do tell us if anyone shows up who shouldn’t be. we changed the locks as you were aware- oh hello little one.”

you noticed one of their children decided to cling onto your leg

“I like your hair it’s colourful!”

“Indeed it is.”

“WOAH A GIANT!”

the little girl let go of your leg and ran to ranboo asking to be picked up, unsure of what to do he looked towards you. however, you were too busy laughing about the fact he was compared to a giant.

“I'm so sorry uh if you want to pick her up you can, you don’t have to.”

“pick me up, tall man... I want to be taller!”

ranboo ended up standing next to you with an arm around your waist whilst the child sat on his shoulders happily playing with his hair.

“ranboo do not drop that child.”

“I didn't- I didn't plan on it y/n.”

eventually, it was time to leave and the child reluctantly let go of ranboo.

“bye-bye!! hope to see you soon!”

soon enough you were at a smaller house, far away from the old house, leaving behind the negative feelings. it could only get better, a week later the pair of you had settled into the new house, it finally felt like home. you and ranboo were now streaming full time again, safe to say the two of you were thriving and closer than ever.

“so I’m thinking if I hit the sub-goal today I’ll let chat pick what colour I dye my hair.”

“make it higher, and I’ll let you cut my hair.”

“Are you being serious? oh my god!”

a few minutes later you took to Twitter to announce you were going live.

y/n: kidnapping children in the sims with ranboo psst check the subgoal.

within 20 minutes you had hit the sub-goal, chat ended up picking another random neon colour for your hair.

“right hair dye and the cutting stream will be this weekend, now let’s go back to kidnapping.”

tubbo, tommy, and jack felt awful for what happened and went back to the house where you used to live, hoping to see you there so they could apologise, tubbo knocked on the door only to be met by a young child.

“my sister watches you on twitch!”

“oh that’s lovely.. are y/n and ranboo here?”

an older woman came to the door.

“oh no, I’m sorry dear they both moved out, but they left this box and said to give it to you if you returned.”

“do you know where they moved to?”

“I'm sorry dear, I'm not allowed to tell you that information for safety reasons.”

“I understand, thanks anyway.”

they ended up going back to jacks where the three of them had been staying.

“We should open the box.”

tubbo opened the box and emptied the items onto the floor, inside was the rocks y/n handed tubbo from every trip, photos of the group, a necklace y/n had gifted to Tommy a day before the argument, and a hat y/n had taken from jack during a trip to a zoo.

“what the fuck!”

“holy shit!”

“they really kept all these in hopes we would come back?”

“and now we’re too late.”

it was now the weekend you and ranboo were ready to stream, you stood leaning on ranboo who was significantly smaller than you as you lowered the chair he sat on.

“starting stream...now.”

after the starting soon intro played, you explained what was happening to any new viewers or people who didn’t watch the stream.

“so I’m about to become Edward Scissorhands...I love that film can we watch it later?”

“yeah mhm sure!”

you didn’t know this but your ex best friends were watching and ever so often would show up in the chat.

“so boo, what are we doing with your hair today?”

“just a trim please darling?”

“This is y/ns hairdressers you get what I’m capable of!”

you ended up doing a pretty good job of cutting ranboos hair, even he was impressed.

“I didn’t doubt you for a minute!”

“mhm sure thing please don’t mess up my hair tall one!”

soon enough you had the dye on. 45 minutes later you left to wash it off, leaving ranboo to entertain stream,

“chat I think I missed some of their hair it’s okay, I own scissors, I’ll just cut it.. speaking of they did a great job, didn't they? I honestly expected them to mess up.”

a few minutes later you joined ranboo again and spent the next few hours talking with chat. tubbo, tommy, and jack stayed the entire time. they loved the fact you and ranboo were able to stay close after what happened, Tommy noticed you were still wearing the necklace he got you many years ago and spammed them chat with him tubbo and jack

Tommy: THEYRE WEARING THE NECKLACE!!

jack: so what? they clearly don’t wanna talk to us.

tubbo: shut up listen to them.

“chat why are we spamming platonic soulmates?”

“they’ve been saying it all over Twitter, look on trending y/n.”

you started to blush slightly at all the amazing artwork soon enough the stream came to an end, after saying goodbye the pair of you sat together going through fan art. unfortunately the one that caught your eye was this one twitter post where the artist had created a drawing of a piece of paper with you, ranboo, tommy, tubbo, and jack, however the paper was ripped separating you and ranboo from the others, captioned ‘it was never meant to be’ this clearly upset ranboo as he took off his mask and glasses placing them on the desk before going straight to his bed.

“boo…are you okay?”

“Are you tired of me? are you going to leave next?”

“what? no of course not! I could never get tired of you, why do you ask?”

“everyone else has left..i thought they cared about us, i knew it would happen eventually and i couldn’t stop it, i’m sorry, y/n, please don’t hate me.”

you sat on the edge of the bed looking down at the floor,

“come here.”

you watched him roll over to face you.

“you know there’s no one else who I'd rather spend the rest of my life with, right…if i hated you i wouldn’t have moved house with you. it’s not your job to fix everything and make everything better, you’re a streamer for christ sake not a therapist.”

“i guess so.. can we watch that thing you were on about for ages.”

“edward scissorhands? “

“mhm!”

you could tell he wanted to be distracted, so you agreed and put the film on, towards the end you began to get upset due to how overwhelming everything was.

“Why are you crying?”

“poor Edward.”

“come here.”

ranboo pulled you into a hug you laid there crying into his chest, he knew that wasn’t the reason you were crying, but he wasn’t about to make you tell him, luckily it didn’t take long for you to stop crying as ranboo quickly distracted you.

“ranboo..”

“yeah y/n?”

“I feel bad i didnt realise how much pressure was on you whilst everyone was arguing.”

“Hey, it’s okay, is that what’s upsetting you?”

“mhm.”

“don’t blame yourself, i’d do it all over again to keep you safe and happy..then again i didn’t do a good job on keeping you happy.”

“you did..you were always there for me even when i gave up on social media, you shared your room with me after i started receiving creepy messages from that obsessed fan, hell you even went on adventures with me even though it was clear you hadn’t been sleeping, just so we could spend time together and forget about what was happening. you mean a lot to me boo.”

“i love you.”

“i love you too bud, I’m tired.”

“go to sleep, it’s been a long day.”

“okay.”

“you just staying there?”

“yes.”

“oh, oh okay, goodnight.”

about a year later the two of you were still thriving, ranboo got you a promise ring a few months earlier.

“heh what’s this for?”

“as your best friend i promise to stay by your side and keep you safe and make sure that you’re happy, in other words you're stuck with me till the end of time.”

“boo…i really don’t know what to say.. thank you so much!”

“you don’t have to say anything!”

you ended up going out to buy him a promise ring when he started the stream and decided to take your cousins with you now that they were a little older. ranboo was doing a facecam stream when the door slammed open revealing you covering your three younger cousins ranboo not realising you were hiding them from the camera, instinctively stood up covering the camera

“ranboooooo!”

“yes you three and y/n ,what do you need?”

“we would like to watch a film!”

“Okay, i’ll go put one on, y/n will you entertain chat?”

“sure thing boo boy!”

once they left you sat fixing your hair forgetting you were wearing the ring chat noticed this and went crazy, so did Tommys group with tubbo and jack.

tubbo: that’s a ring, right??

jack: yeah looks like it.

Tommy: holy shit I always thought if anyone was gonna get married it would be tubbo and y/n, they were inseparable.

tubbo: hilarious.

jack: it could just be a ring, no one mentioned marriage tommy!

Tommy: we should congratulate them.

jack: at least let them explain fucking hell.

soon enough ranboo came back into the room,

“sorry one of them found it hilarious to steal my glasses...”

“they’re little shits i swear to god but i love them.”

you both noticed chat going crazy and both looked at each other before laughing.

“i'm sorry, i can’t take you serious in the mask and glasses!”

“i can’t take you serious with neon hair, but here we are!”

“rude!”

you and ranboo quickly put an end to the rumours,

“no we’re not engaged or married, it is a promise ring. no they’re not our children, they’re y/ns cousins they just spend a lot of time here..chat stop calling me and y/n parents and comparing us to phil that’s not..that’s not how it works okay!”

“parent arc!”

“y/n, don’t encourage them!”

“it’s a little bit funny!”

soon enough the bit came to an end and eventually ranboo ended the stream.

“hey boo look what i got you”

you handed him a little black box, inside was a ring similar to yours

“i promise to always stick around and be here for you”

“oh my god”

ranboo tackled you into a hug thanking you several times for his rings. you and ranboo were living your best life meanwhile jack, tommy, and tubbo were stuck dealing with the guilt of what happened, but they’re weren’t giving up that easy. they wanted you both back, that’s when you received a notification, tommyinnit has sent you a message request: hey y/n can we talk..please?

taglist

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @augustine-is-joy @c1loudee

[avnkin]

Not What It Seems ( d.m )

Summary: Draco starts spreading rumours about you and you demand to know why.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x fem!reader

Word Count: 2k ish

Warnings: angst and draco being mean

Author’s Note: here’s my first draco fic!!! i’m currently working on 4 others, one series, two requests and a one shot that i’m 8k words deep into,, please continue sending in requests i love hearing your ideas and writing them out!<3 PSA I wrote this in like an hour so it’s not my best work lmao I just wanted to post something since i’ve been so inactive (not my gif)

You and Draco had always had a sort of rivalry going on between the two of you. Everyday in class he’d throw a snide comment directed your way which you’d send right back with a remark of your own.

Everyone had gotten used it by now the teachers hardly bothering to intervene whenever you two were having one of your ‘arguments’ in class.

It had been a monday when the rumours had started. You’d been walking to your charms class when you noticed the abnormally large crowd of Slytherin girls stop and stare when you walked past, whispering in each other’s ears while they not so subtly pointed at you.

You’d thought nothing of it since most of those girls hated you and made damn sure you knew it so that wasn’t anything new, but the stares and giggles had continued on for the rest of the day and not just from the Slytherin’s but the other houses as well, what the hell was going on?

When you’d finally made it to your last class of the day you’d grown fairly sick of it. Hermione had taken a seat next you which was when you knew something was definitely up since she always sat next to Ron and you to Harry.

She’d given you a worried glance which you’d returned with one of confusion.

“Why is everyone acting so weird?” you finally asked noticing the lingering stares from your fellow classmates who quickly looked away whenever you made eye contact.

“I was actually coming to see if you knew” Hermione had hesitantly replied, shuffling uncomfortably in her seat.

“Knew? knew what” you inquired feeling the tiniest hint of nerves as you watched Hermione bite down on her, lip carefully contemplating her next words.

“There’s been this rumour... about you” Hermione cautioned, it was obvious she didn’t feel comfortable telling you this but you didn’t care continuing to press on her. 

“What rumour?”

“Well it’s just people have been saying that you’ve been- uh sleeping around” she spoke the last part of her sentence quietly as she looked down onto her lap “please don’t think I’m judging you, I would never do that what you do in your own time is entirely your business and no one else’s, it’s just to bad nobody at this school seems to be familiar with the word privacy- but anyways, I just wanted you to hear it from me rather then anybody else”

Your eyes widened at her words and you suddenly became very aware of the students that we’re still staring now knowing what they were thinking made it ten times worse.

“What? why would anyone think that” your voice wavered even though you felt like you knew exactly who had started the rumour, Malfoy.

He’d seen you with a fellow Slytherin boy the other night, you knew that because you’d made very awkward eye contact with the platinum blond once you’d entered they boys dormitories.

It hadn’t been anything like everyone seemed to think, but you couldn’t go telling people that you were sneaking around with a boy who was helping you cheat on your tests.

You hadn’t been doing well in school so you saw no harm in paying someone off to do your homework or work on spells that would enable him to talk to you during tests and tell you the answers. Your family was wealthy which was why you knew they wouldn’t question the missing money.

You figured that Draco had been watching you whenever you’d sneak into the Slytherin common room but decided to keep it to himself until today apparently.

When he walked into the classroom accompanied by his usual entourage, you gave him the deadliest stare you could muster which he only replied too with a wink.

It infuriated you that he’d been spreading such lies about you, who did he think he was? Even if you had been sleeping with the boy it wasn’t his or anyone else’s damn business.

Since the teacher had yet to arrive you angrily stood up stomping towards Draco, wanting to get more than a few things off of your chest.

When you finally stood in front of his desk you slammed both your hands down on the wooden surface causing him to turn towards you leaning back in his chair his signature smirk resting on his lips.

“Anything I can help you with Y/L/N” his voice was smooth, as if he didn’t have a care in the world, asshole.

“You can stop telling lies about me for starters” you chided, rolling your eyes once you heard the ‘oh’s’ from around you, clearly you’d caught the attention of the rest of the class.

“They’re not lies and you know it” he challenged now sitting up fully in his chair.

“Yes they are and why do you even care Malfoy? Are you jealous” that sentence seemed to throw him off as he uncomfortably shifted in his chair his body language changing in mere seconds.

That’s when you realized you’d hit a soft spot, smirking before continuing “oh I get it, that’s it, you’re in love with me aren’t you” you teasingly pouted leaning forward on his desk to rest your chin in your palm smiling innocently up at him.

A bright pink tint appeared on his cheeks as he took in a deep breath giving you a warning glare which you ignored even though you knew you were skating on thin ice.

“Poor Malfoy can’t even get the girl he likes”

That’s when he seemed to snap, quickly getting up pushing the chair from behind him causing it to almost fall to the floor but Zabini’s arm had caught it just in time.

He placed his fingers on the desk in front of him, all embarrassment seeming to fade off of him as he looked you up and down, his signature smirk now back on his lips.

“Believe me Y/L/N, I don’t want you and neither does anyone else so any guy who says he’s interested in you beyond just fucking you is full of shit”

You’d been expecting him to say a lot of things but not that. You stood frozen for a couple of seconds, this was probably the first time you couldn’t come up with anything to say.

His words had cut deep and the chortles from the students around you weren’t helping at all. You felt tears beginning to brim in the corner of your eyes but you didn’t dare let them fall, you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d hurt so you just shook your head before heading straight for the exit of the classroom.

“That was a low blow Malfoy, even for you” Hermione glared at him before hurriedly standing up and following you out into the hallway.

Draco didn’t melt into the cheers and laughter of his friends like he usually did, instead he sunk into his seat ignoring everyone around him.

He knew what he’d said wasn’t true but he’d been so blinded by jealousy when he saw you enter another boys dormitory that he’d gone to Blaise and told him that he wouldn’t be surprised if you would have gone through the entire Slytherin house by the end of the term.

He truly didn’t know why he did it and a sudden guilt creeped onto him as flashes off your hurt face lingered in his mind.

Tears were now fully falling down your cheeks, you felt embarrassed and humiliated, he’d given all the students yet another thing to gossip about without a care in the world.

“Y/N!” Hermione’s voice sounded from behind you causing to you quickly stop and turn around gladly accepting the comforting hug she engulfed you in as soon as she reached you.

“He’s full of shit Y/N don’t you dare let someone like him be the cause of your tears. You are so much more than his stupid comments believe me” you nodded letting her wipe away your tears.

You stayed out in the hallway for a couple more minutes but when you saw professor Snape walking past you, you didn’t feel like getting yelled at for being late as well so you and Hermione quickly followed after him.

As soon as you walked into the classroom all eyes were on you but you ignored them keeping your head held high as you walked back to your seat not daring to look over at Draco.

After class had finished you felt much better having spent your time with ‘the golden trio’ letting them cheer you up, your embarrassment long forgotten as the four of you made your way into the Great Hall for dinner.

You’d been walking behind them having been to caught up in your own thoughts when you felt a hand wrap around your wrist pulling you into an empty corner of the hallway along with them.

You let out a yelp as you were pressed against a wall a hand coming up to cover your mouth. You quickly looked up at your assailant only to be met with a pair of grey eyes you weren’t expecting to see, Draco.

“Calm down it’s just me”

You immediately pushed him off of you “Is that supposed to make feel better? God you’re such an arse” you scoffed attempting to walk away from him but he grabbed your arm again pulling you back in front of him.

“Y/N please hear me out” he pleaded, the mention of your first name startling you a bit, not once in all your years at Hogwarts had he called you Y/N.

“Y/N huh, that’s new” you folded your arms over your chest glaring up at him.

He ignored your words as he fiddled with his fingers clearly trying to think of an apology good enough for what he had said earlier.

“Shit, Y/N- I mean Y/L/N, I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have said that it was stupid, I-I hope you know I don’t actually think that, It’s just when I saw you with him I got so mad, I don’t know why I-I didn’t mean it-“

“You didn’t mean it? Well that sure as hell didn’t stop you from saying it in front of the entire bloody class” you cut him off now resting your hand on your hip.

“I know, I- I don’t know what to say except that I’m really sorry” he shook his head before he turned to walk away from you, but just as he was about to round the corner you called out after him.

“I’m sorry for what I said as well”

He stopped dead in his tracks before slowly making his way back to stand in front of you, you were now very much aware of how close the two of you were and you almost invontarily backed into the stone wall causing him to take another step towards you.

“Well you weren’t exactly wrong”

“Oh so you were jealous” you teased looking up at the platnium blond who already had his eyes glued on you a small smile resting on his lips

Instead of answering he surged forward pressing you even harder into the wall, his hands wrapping around your waist as his lips connected with yours.

Your eyes widened at his actions as you stood frozen against him which he seemed to notice after a couple of seconds quickly pushing himself off of you.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have-” you cut him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down to meet your lips again.

He hungrily kissed you back his arms wrapping around your torso before travelling down to your hips pulling you even more into him.

“What on earth is going on here” professor McGonagall’s voice suddenly sounded from beside you causing the two of you to quickly jump away from each other.

“Oh- uhm sorry professor we were just- uhm” you tried to come up with an excuse turning your head towards Draco hoping he would help but he just stood frozen like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Detention, both of you for the next two weeks”

[strawberrylemonz]

A Mother for Two

Welcome to the continuation! As always, time to dedicate these chapters! Hope you all enjoy, especially @applepie1000

@petrichormeraki I will fist fight you lmaooo /j

Part 3

Part 4 [CURRENT]

Part 5

------------

“You two sure you have everything you need?”

“We’re sure, Xisuma, jeez. It’s not like we’re leaving for good, we’ll be back by tonight.”

Grian snickered as Tommy was swiftly swatted on the backside of his head by Xisuma. Huffing, the boy griped as the group walked over to the portal leading to the Hub. As Xisuma gave the two another look over, Grian finally spoke up.

“Tommy and I will be just fine. We’ll just set up the fliers, get supplies, get our asses back here. Done, easy work.”

“Yeah, easy work!”

“Nothing is easy work when the two of you are together for too long. Just don’t cause too much trouble, nothing more than usual.”

After bidding farewell to Xisuma, the two boys walked into the portal. Instantly, voices chatting with each other filled the silence. The two stepped out of the portal and into the Hub. Players of all kinds here entering and leaving several portals. As the two made their way through the portal transportation section, Tommy examined all the portals. 

Hermitcraft

Stampy’s Lovely World

Pixelmon

MCC

Hypixel 

Cops and Robbers

There were so many portals to so many places. He had only been through the Hub to get to MCC. He was always focused on getting to his destination that he didn’t stop to look closely at every other portal around him. Stopping in his tracks, he stared at a ruined portal. It was grand and beautiful, but falling apart. It was cracked and broken, no longer activated. The giant sign above it proudly held it’s name, keeping the world from being forgotten.

SMP EARTH

Grian was walking when he felt something off. Turning around, he noticed that Tommy wasn’t following him. Tilting his head and looking around, he saw that Tommy was just standing there, staring. Excusing himself as he pushed passed the crowd, he eventually made his way to his brother. Before he could get onto his brother for immediately separating from him, he saw what his brother was looking at. Making a humming noise, he nudged Tommy before pulling out a large banner. Tommy nodded in understanding, and helped Grian unravel the banner. Working with haste, the two strung up the banner on the inactive portal. Once it was secured, they stood back and admired their work.

GRAND OPENING!!!! 

HERMITCRAFT PROUDLY PRESENTS:

INNIT AN ADVENTURE?!

We, in Hermitcraft, happily invite you to join us in the opening day of our latest amusement park, Innit an Adventure! Created by our very own TommyInnit, we encourage you to spend the day with us! Come join us as we make unforgettable memories! Keep an eye out for festival week, and join us for a wonderful night of dancing! 

Are you innit with us?

“Looks great!”

“Of course it does, we made it.”

“Yeah yeah, lets just finish the set up.”

Smiling, the two boys set up two podiums underneath the banner. Taking out a good amount of pamphlets and fliers, they neatly set them down on the podiums. Content, the two began to walk away from the portal as people began to stop at the ruin, murmuring in excitement for the adventure park. 

“This is going to be a success, I can already tell you that. Good job, baby brother.”

The two laughed as they made their way through the portal Hub. Grian noticed some people he recognized and waved them over, already pulling pamphlets out of his bag. Tommy laughed as he looked around, fliers in hand, searching for anyone who was willing to get one. That’s when he saw it. Gulping, he quietly walked up to a neon green portal. 

DREAM SMP

Reading the sign attached to the portal, Tommy saw that only whitelisted people could enter. He was whitelisted. He could walk in, right now, and possibly lose his final life tied to the world. Shaking his head, he snapped himself out of his thoughts and scoffed at them. He liked it in Hermitcraft, he didn’t want to leave it for a terrible past. He didn’t have to worry about permanently dying in Hermitcraft. He didn’t have to worry about losing his shit or having said shit used against him. 

“Although...”

As Tommy mumbled to himself, he eventually came to a final decision. Nodding to himself, he crumbled a couple fliers and chucked them into the portal, sending them to the SMP. It was common knowledge that, even though people couldn’t enter, they could send items. With the fliers crumbled up, it would appear as if random passerby’s just threw trash in, making it easy for Tommy to deny inviting them.

Tommy knew that he didn’t want to go back to his past, that much was crystal clear. But what was stopping his past from going to him? If they missed him as if and wanted to see him again, they would need to make the effort. Humming with approval, he walked over to Grian, who was finishing talking to his acquaintances. 

“Hey, big man, maybe we should send some of the fliers and pamphlets into the portals.”

Grian thought for a bit, before nodding in agreement. Taking half of Tommy’s fliers, Grian gave him half of his pamphlets. Nudging towards the main server, he explained his plan.

“I’ll handle the portals and the travelers, okay? You go out and hang up banners and set up more podiums. Meet me at Feast Street for lunch, okay?”

“Okay, okay, calm down. I can do this, I’m not useless.”

“Far from it. See you later, Toms, love you.”

Tommy stood in silence, watching his brother walk away. His brother’s proclamation of love had caught him by surprise. A smile formed on his face as a warm feeling bursted through his chest. Looking around, he found some crates nearby. Standing on them, he inhaled before hollering out.

“GRIAN!”

He saw his brother turn around, confused. He felt his face flush as a couple of strangers faced him as well. Ignoring them, he yelled out in confidence through the crowd.

“LOVE YOU TOO, BIG BROTHER!”

He saw Grian laugh, a big smile painted on his face. The two exchanged waves of goodbyes before turning their separate ways, ignoring the cooing noises from the crowd. Tommy laughed as he situated his satchel. Nodding, he made his way down to the capital city.

--------

Things were going great for Tommy. Do take note of the use of past tense, just pointing that out there. Now, Tommy was being scolded as if he were a child again. For Nether’s sake, he was 18! Yet, here he was, being scolded for something he didn’t do.

“I swear that I didn’t do shit!”

“Then why are you being so defensive?”

“Because you’re accusing me of crap that I didn’t even do!”

Apparently, according to the stupid shopkeeper that was currently giving him a hard time, some kids were going around and stealing stuff from the shelves. Due to the stress, the shopkeeper immediately accused Tommy of being apart of that group of kids. She wouldn’t let him leave, even after he explained himself. So there he stood, feeling like a helpless child once again.

“Is something the matter?”

Tommy turned to see a petite woman standing behind the shopkeeper, arms crossed. Despite her height, or lack of it, she seemed very intimidating. At least, that’s what the shopkeeper seemed to believe.

“Oh, ma’am, my apologies! I was just reprimanding this deli-”

“My son. You’re reprimanding my son.”

“Son???”

“SON??? WHAT???”

“What is she doing?”

“NEW PARENT POG???”

“Huhhhhhh??????”

“FINALLY OBTAINING A MOTHER, POG???”

“MUMZA???”

“MOTHERINNIT???”

Tommy perked up at this, peering over at the lady once more. The shopkeeper seemed flabbergasted at how blunt the woman was with her. The woman, however, stayed firm with her stance and gaze. 

“You’re son, ma’am?”

“Yes, my son. How many times do I need to repeat myself? I sent him in here to buy some fresh fruit to snack on before lunch, but I now see that was a mistake.”

“W-Wait, no! Ma’am, I didn’t-”

“We will find a different shop to go buy fruit at, instead. Do think about things before acting. Here,”

The woman grabbed a flier and a pamphlet from Tommy, handing it to the shopkeeper.

“You can make things up to both me and my son by telling shoppers about this. Now, we shall take our leave. Come on, dear.”

The woman held her hand out to Tommy, who nodded his head and took it. She led him out of the store and to the street, ignoring the apologies coming from the shopkeeper. Once they were a good distance away, she let go.

“Sorry about that, but you seemed stuck with her hounding you like that. I was going to ask for a flier or pamphlet, but figured I should help you instead.”

Tommy blinked a few times before laughing alongside the woman. Chat was laughing alongside them, taking a liking to the mysterious woman who had saved their little pogchamp.

“Ah, I should introduce myself. I’m Kristin, very nice to meet you! I’m originally from SMP Earth, but I somehow ended up here many years ago.”

“SMP Earth? Holy shit, I’m from there, too! I’m Tommy, by the way. Well, my actual name is Thomas, but everyone calls me Tommy. I’m from Business Bay, but I eventually became the youngest prince of the Antarctic Empire.”

“Youngest prince? Are you Phil’s brother?”

“What? Nah, he adopted me as his son.”

Tommy was startled as the woman, Kristin, began choking on air. Alarmed, he pat her back as he gave her a water bottle he had on him. After a while, she raised her hand and nodded, indicating that she was okay.

“Wow, he has a son. The world is ending, hah.”

“Four, actually. He has four sons.”

“Oh my god, I’m going to have a heart attack.”

Tommy laughed before asking what was on his mind. Judging by the breezy feeling that moved across his starry face, he knew that Clara led this woman to him.

“How do you know Phil?”

Kristin’s face brightened up as a small blush painted her cheeks.

“Er, how about I tell you about it as we walk?”

“Better yet, why don’t you tell me and my older brother about it over lunch?”

--------

Grian was not expecting Tommy to come back with an older woman. He didn’t mind, however, after hearing how she saved his brother from the shopkeeper’s rage. Laughing, he ruffled the younger boy’s hair. 

“Haha, you found a mother!”

“We’re brothers, so wouldn’t that make her our mother? Sheesh, dumbass.”

Kristin laughed out loud in the background, holding her stomach and she doubled over. Tommy happily smiled, very glad to have someone appreciate his language. Once they all gave proper introductions and a reason as to why Kristin was with them, they all got food and sad down at one of the outside tables.  After getting a few decent bites into their meals, Tommy spoke up.

“So,  how do you know Phil?”

“Ah, yes, that old fart-”

She smiled as both boys snorted at that statement. Taking a bite out her bread roll, she waited for them to settle down before. Nodding her head, she continued.

“It’s true, he is! Anyways, I knew him when I lived back on SMP Earth. I was, well, am the princess of a smaller kingdom back there. Phil’s parents had started a small kingdom of their own, the Antarctic Empire. My parents, along with his, arranged for the two of us to be married to one another. I would have usually thrown a fit at an arranged marriage, like I always did when they brought up suitors, but Phil and I actually liked each other, so we agreed. I disappeared before the wedding, however, fell through my mirror and into a hardcore world. Once I made it out of there, I ended up here. Been here ever since.”

Grian started choking out of surprise. Tommy and Kristin both moved quickly to help him, worried. Once he gave them a sign that he was okay, he adjusted himself.

“You’re Queen Kristin?”

“Queen?”

“Yeah. I read it in one of the books in the archive when I was younger. Although you disappeared, you were still married to my dad, and the two kingdoms were merged into one.”

“What?”

Kristin stared at Grian, confusion and disbelief painted her face. Suddenly, she groaned and hit her head against the table. 

“This explains why some of the things I bought took way too long to finalize! My last name has been Minecraft this entire time!”

Tommy and Grian shared a look of disbelief. This was the only thing she was concerned about? Being married to Phil wasn’t troubling or shocking news to her at all! Suddenly, Tommy’s eyes widened as he gasped, pointing at Kristin. 

“WHAT THE FUCK?! THAT MAKES YOU MY ACTUAL MOTHER.”

--------

Kristin helped them finish setting up banners and podiums. She also aided them in passing out fliers and pamphlets to passing people. Once they ran out, she walked them over to the Hub. As they stood at the entrance portal to Hermitcraft, Tommy hugged Kristin, who ran her fingers through her head. She may have been new to the whole mother thing, but her caring instincts were enough to comfort the young boy.

“I wish I could come, I really do, but I’m not on the list. I’ll have to wait until opening day.”

Before Tommy could whine, Grian spoke up. 

“What if we got you on the list? Would you move in, then?”

Kristin laughed as she pat Grian’s shoulder, a smile painting her face.

“Of course! I just found out I had family! You guys aren’t getting rid of me that easily. Here, take this. If you guys get me on the list, use this to get to my house.”

Tommy brightened up as he was given a compass labeled Kristin. He nodded as Grian promised. 

“Bye Kristin! See you around!”

“Bye Tommy, Grian, I’ll see you two soon.”

The boys watched as she walked away, a pep in her step as disappeared into the crowd. Nodding to each other, Tommy and Grian went home.

[oftincturedwords]

Tagged by @ourlordapollo & @ezras-channel-rat ( thank you both so much for thinking of me to tag ! i appreciate it ! <33 )

I tag @flosimo , @snidgethex , @pain-in-the-asguardian , @bisamwilson , @lindir , @theancientvaleofsoulmaking , @hexagonaldecency , @alexpenkala , @inspirationmerls / @merlevum , @garbria , @quietspace , @wallywastaken , @wecomrades , @yuzukimist , @winterinhimring , @legolas--thranduilion , @newtness532 , @zelsisi , && whoever else wishes to do this , i tag you !

1. Why did you choose your url?

i thought it was clever since i enjoy writing & writing involves being crafty with your words , thus ‘of’ , 'tinctured’ meaning slight trace of something , & ‘words’ so words with a slight trace of something , a flavour or tinge

2. Any side blogs?

no , i don't use sideblogs. nothing against them though , just never got into using them

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

ten years ^^’ thus far agdjfkfl i’ve been here since i was fourteen years old , but this blog specifically is only four years old

4. Do you have a queue tag?

as much as i do use the queue feature i should have a queue tag but i don't have one. a majority of the posts on my blog though are from the queue , i use that feature very often so perhaps i'll create one some day , i'll have to think on it

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

well , i started this blog because i wanted a personal blog to just reblogged whatever i wanted & have a place for all the fandoms i like

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i just really like william bush from hornblower <3 plus paul mcgann in period clothing & smiling ??? how could i not have him as my icon agdjfkgl

7. Why did you choose your header?

it's q from the daniel craig 007 bond films , spectre to be specific , because i liked the screenshot & thought it'd look good as a mobile header ; plus i rather like q , we have the same fashion tastes & spend rather a lot of time in front of computer or working on projects agdjfkfl as well what's not to love about ben whishaw ??

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

hmm i'm not entirely sure but i believe it's this one

9. How many mutuals do you have?

100+ i think ? i've not counted

10. How many followers do you have?

250 but this number fluctuates near daily so don't quote me on it

11. How many people do you follow?

2956 ^^’ but a lot of them are inactive & that task to go through them all to unfollow is just too daunting now to even consider , i've had this blog for awhile now & hadn't kept up with ensuring the blogs i followed were active , now it's just piled up

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

i guess , maybe if you count the posts i make about writing that i think are funny ? not certain though ...

13. How often do you use Tumblr everyday?

nearly every day , but i do skip some days if i’m busy or am too tired , so more often than not every other day to every two days i guess is more accurate

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no , i haven't ever had a fight nor argument with any other blogs

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

it rather depends on the message though that's being said in the post

16. Do you like tag games?

yes very much !

17. Do you like ask games?

yes i love those as well !

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

i’m not entirely sure because i'm not entirely sure what tumblr famous equates ? how would one go about determining that ?

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

no , not any crushes , but i have some that i consider friends & absolutely brilliant / talented people such as @pain-in-the-asguardian , @flosimo , @snidgethex , @lembasbrad , @inspirationmerls to name a few that i've converse/ed with

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Never Too Late 2

Warnings: noncon sexual acts (later in series)

This is dark!Steve Rogers and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You’re turning forty and life seems to be forging ahead on its one way track, that is until you meet Steve Rogers.

Note: Things are... going. But I’m doing my best.

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

It was about time you started doing something. Past due, you’d say. Your body was screaming for it. You were no longer the college grad who could sit and eat potato chips to her heart’s desire. Or the thirtysomething in denial of the looming 4-0. No you had stepped upon the threshold and you felt and saw the changes which came with another decade.

And yet, the simple act was daunting. Your old beat up sneakers squeaked as you descended the stairs of your building to the street. You wore a pair of thin track pants you’d bought years ago on the unspent whim of a New Years’ resolution. Your sports bra was new and uncomfortable; the tank top a bit too tight for your liking. 

You did your best to stretch outside. You kicked your foot up against the brick and lunged a few times forward and back. Your muscles were stiff from inactivity; from years of neglect; from time. You hopped in place as worked up to your departure. 

You began at a slow jog. You reached the first corner out of breath.

You were old. Accept it.

You continued and wove your way to the park where few others paced themselves around the fountain and winding paths where happy owners walked their happier pets. Another breather as you gasped. The sweat gathered under the cotton shirt and created a humid tent in the pants. 

You gripped your hips and stared ahead. Keep going. You pushed off your heels and bent your arms as you fought your way through the tension in your chest, the burn in your lungs, the ache in your knees. One day at a time, it would get easier. You hoped.

You wondered how you’d manage to fit in your new regime on workdays. A morning run would mean even earlier days; likely shorter nights. You’d have to make it work. You didn’t have another ten years to wait around; if you did, it might be too late to change.

You were tired. Of the years passing like second. Of the tedium. Of nothing happening. Of failed hopes. Of pointless relationships and temporary stability. You weren’t where you wanted to be and you’d likely never get there but there were other desires in life. Other achievements to be made.

Your mother could resent you for your singleness; your lack of familial bliss. She could not begrudge you entirely. Not if you bettered yourself. Not if you turned it around and tried. Not if you set aside your passivity for proaction. Because it was your life, not hers.

When you got back to your building, you were ready to collapse. The old elevator was still out of order. It’s old grated doors marked with an X of tape and a handwritten sign. You dragged yourself up the stairs and stumbled inside. You downed a glass of water and splayed over your single armchair. Your heart slowed as you flipped on the television and checked off day one in your newly downloaded app.

👟

Day two. Exhausted and still sore, you made yourself go. You had an hour before you had to be back to shower and ready for work. The day seemed even longer ahead of you. Eight hours at a desk in pain, dealing with the frustrated public. It was worse than you could imagine. Your night was spent with an ice pack and half-dazed.

Day three, four, five. A tic in your phone which barely felt worth it. Six almost saw you giving up as you ambled around work with splints in your calves. Seven, another day off, but you still had work to do. You pulled on your freshly washed track pants and a loose tee. The last days of summer approached but the heat had yet to relent. 

You took your usual route to the park. You stopped at the entrance and stretched a second time. You found it was helping. The pain was duller, the aches less spread out. You set off and found your step. A week and you could already see the ounce of improvement. Well, inside more than out.

You measured your breaths as you neared the curve shrouded in trees; leaves still lush and aromatic. Soon enough, they’d darken and drop. Time was like footsteps. Each one forward took you further from where you were and yet you could feel like you were standing still or come to a startling stop that left you hurtling into the void.

Like then. Your worn treads slid over the ground as you collided with the unexpected runner coming your way. Your eyes had been above him, staring at the rounded tree tops and their sprawling branches. On the early morning hues that cast the sentinels in a placid mural.

You stumbled back, your hands reaching back to catch yourself but you never met the ground. Two thick hands caught your upper arms and steadied you. You looked up, both surprised and not by the face staring back at you. Both familiar and not. After so long in the city, the last two weeks had seen as many run-ins with Steve Rogers. More, now.

“You,” He smiled as he slowly released you, his fingers tickled your arms. 

“You.” You echoed dully. 

“Small world,” He chuckled.

“New York isn’t that small,” You said. “You must think I’m some weirdo.”

“Or maybe I’m the weirdo?” He ventured. “Didn’t peg you as a runner.”

“Wow, thanks,” You scoffed. “And I’m not. Well, wasn’t. New hobby.”

“New?” He raised a brow.

“One week,” You shrugged. “Not much and I’m sure once it’s cold, I’ll go back to my sloth,” You said. “Uh, sorry about… wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“Not at all. Neither was I.” He smiled. 

“Well, I, uh…” You looked past him, “Have a lot to go.”

“Can I join you?” He asked. You squinted at his eagerness. 

“Weren’t you going…” You pointed over your shoulder.

“I just do circles,” He said. “Doesn’t really matter which direction.”

“I’m not very fast.”

“It’s not a race.”

“Alright,” You threw your hands up, just wanting to get it over with. “But if you feel like leaving me behind, don’t think it’ll bother me.”

“Come on,” He turned so he faced the same direction. “It’s always easier with company.”

You exhaled and righted yourself before you fell back into a jog. He kept pace beside you. You could smell his sweat. You tried to keep your breathing quiet.

“I used to run with my pal Sam but… he joined a gym.” He said. “So, new hobby?”

“Hobby is putting it… nicely,” You huffed. “More like trying to make up for my own laziness.”

“It’s never too late to make a change,” He preened. “You got any other hobbies? Maybe something you enjoy more?”

You glanced at him. Your chest hurt but you didn’t want to slow down.

“Cross-stitching? Tetris?” You offered. “Nothing special. Just… life.”

“How’s work?” He asked.

You were silent as you kept running. You listened to the sound of your foot falls as your breath came faster.

“I--” You came to a stop and turned to him as you touched your side. “Forgive me for being a bit--confused but--” You gulped. “Don’t you have friends? Super friends?”

“Co-workers,” He said and his hands went to his hips. “Oh, maybe you already have enough friends then.”

“Look, I’m forty, I work the same job I had sixteen years ago, I live in a box, and I’m falling apart,” You shook your head. “Not many people are trying to be my friend. All my friends have families; obligations.”

“Well, it sounds like we have a lot in common,” He grinned. “So we should be great friends.”

You frowned. His optimism was irksome. His refusal to be rebuffed more so.

“Friends?” You repeated darkly.

“Maybe just running buddies?” He suggested. “I do get a bit lonely out here with just the chipmunks.”

“Steve.” You uttered.

“And I think you need someone to keep you on the right path, hmm? I’ve been told I’m a great motivator. Bit of a hard ass but I’ve got a talent and I use it.”

You considered him. He was right. An app wasn’t going to keep you going forever. Already, you were tempted to drag the little icon to the bin. Already you were tempted to sleep in. Already you were succumbing to failure. 

“You sure?” You asked.

“What time do you usually run?”

“Well, weekdays, I head out at six, back home at seven, then off to work,” You explained. “Weekends I get an extra hour of sleep.”

“Alright,” He turned and set off. You followed. “I can’t promise every day. Lots of work out of town but weekends at least.”

“You really don’t--”

“Maybe if you start saying yes, you’ll find what you’ve been looking for,” He intoned. 

You grumbled and pressed your lips together. He was right. You hated that he was. Something about this man both intrigued and disturbed you. He was kind but with a hint of pushiness. You just couldn’t decide if his insistence was merely clueless or something more deliberate.

👟

Another week and the mornings were easier, though the days continued to drag. Steve met you again on Monday and Tuesday but Wednesday he was gone. You didn’t mind so much but he returned on Saturday. He waited for you at the park entrance, a wrapped box in his hand. You were curious but not nosy.

You slowed as he greeted you.

“Hey,” He smiled. “I didn’t realise until after I’d gone that I had no way to tell you I’d be away.”

“It’s fine.” You assured him. “Think I managed just fine on my own.”

“Work,” He said. “But a quick mission so I can’t complain.”

“I saw you on the news,” You looked towards the fountain that stood further inside the park. “I figured.”

“Still, I think maybe… I’d like a more direct line.” He pulled out his phone as he kept the box under his arm.

“Are you asking for my number?”

“In case anything happens,” He said. “I mean, we’re not strangers.

“Sure, but…” You wetted your dry lip with your tongue. “Okay. Um, I don’t have my phone on me but I can give you my number.”

“Great, I’ll text you.” He unlocked his cell and carefully keyed in your details as you recited them. He replaced the phone in the strap around his bicep. “There. Your very own on-call hero.”

“Right,” You nodded slowly.

“Oh, and…” He grabbed the box from beneath his elbow. “Happy belated birthday.”

“What? Uh, I can’t. You already--”

“A cake? Really. Everyone should have a cake on their birthday.” He held out the gift. “And presents too.”

You looked at the small square box. You chewed your lip and shifted your weight on your feet.

“It’s really nothing special.” He urged. “If you’re wondering, July fourth,” He pointed to himself. “So you’re in the clear.”

“Steve--”

“I already got it and… it’s not really my colour,” He shoved it closer. “Please.”

You slowly took it as you gave a quiet thank you. You carefully slipped a finger in the crease of red wrapping paper and tore it open. A dusty pink smart watch shone back at you. You blinked and looked up at him.

“The guy at the store said you sync it with your phone and it can count your steps and all that. Send you reminders.” He rubbed his neck. “I thought it would be useful. Especially when I’m away.”

You tilted your head at him then looked back to the clear plastic window of the box. It was expensive, you could tell. 

“It’s… a lot.” You said. 

“It’s a gift. It’s not about the price tag,” He shrugged. “Come on. Try it on.”

You scratched your hairline and muttered. You went over to a bench and sat as you worked at opening the box. You took out the watch and admired its round face. He offered to do it up for you and you turned your wrist over. He secured it and you held up your hand as you looked it over.

“You like it?” He asked. “They had gold but I liked the pink.”

“Nice color,” You affirmed. “I guess… I guess I can use it.” You lowered your arm and hid the watched with your other hand. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing. It’s what friends do,” He stood and gathered the packaging. “You don’t need all this, do you?”

“No,” You stood. “Thanks.”

He tossed it in a bin surrounded by hedges and you neared.

“Well, should we get going?” He asked.

“Yeah. Maybe an extra lap today?” You said. “Push myself a little.”

[causticsunshine]

twenty questions

tagged by @are-you-quite-finished-giovanna thank you babe!! 🥰

1. why did you choose your url?

simply put i adore louis and i like purple and it just rolled off the tongue lol, but i also had a list of possible urls i also liked and i had to snatch this one up while i could!

2. any side blogs?

yes i have four....i'm not one of those 'everything goes on main and you can deal with it' type people.... but i have an inspiration blog @prickelndauge (art insp, lots of fashion, cool photography), an art-only blog @swmpwxtch, one just for spooky/creepy content because i'm really into horror manga and scary movies and that kind of stuff but i keep it off of main because i know a lot of it can often be triggering to others! (i also don't post much there but @bonepickng) and one for art references, life tips, random resources, and more donation sharing @am-ref!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

soooo long i thought i'd be gone by now tbh. i know i signed up in 2011 after just browsing the site through random blogs and tags for ages, but i didn't start actively using my own account until early 2012!

4. do you have a queue tag?

when i actually remember to tag things i have queued i'll use 'i'm sleep queue' because all my early morning posts everyday are queued....i am an insomniac rip

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

keeping up with my interests better! i was like 15/16 at the time so it made sense. back in Ye Olde Days much like now—i really have come full circle lmao—it was mostly just for 1d and then some random tv shows/franchises i just to see content of semi-often, as well as finding cool art!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

rn it's just a regular pic of louis! as much as i like using my collages or little edits as my icons, you can't see much of anything and it looks too busy sometimes (but also the photo i have rn....i am always thinking thoughts about it soooo)

7. why did you choose your header?

it's pretty! i wanted everything to follow a color scheme + i love embroidery and fancy gowns!

8. what's your post with the most notes?

ok i thought it was gonna be one of my old larry chibi doodles because i know a few of them hit 1k+ notes, but i deleted those in 2017 and apparently now it's this 6 year old like....funky photo study i did of dan howell from 2015 when i still watched him and amazingphil a lot?? i mean at least it's something i was once proud of lmao....there's a few art posts i have with semi decent notes that i pretend i Do Not See

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i think rn 40 something so not very many, although i unfollowed a lot of people i was moots with when i left my last fanbase so that's probably why 😬 i've been meaning to check out more HL/ot5 people though!! i love mutual interaction but i'm afraid of being annoying if i'm any degree of attentive

10. how many followers do you have?

overall i have almost 2.4k rn, but there's a decent amount that are totally inactive or at least don't interact with me so it feels like....a lot less lmao but since re-joining 1d i've already made up like all the people i lost when i left my other fanbase of almost three and more so thank you for actually liking my work and maybe me as well 🥺💗

11. how many ppl do you follow?

around 370 rn!

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

half of the stuff that comes out of my mouth is a shitpost fdngjkdf like my tags are bad enough lmao, no one needs to properly share the bs i have to say

13. how often do you use tumblr?

pretty regularly rn but there are times i'll go completely MIA depending on what i'm into/how busy i am!

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog?

in the past i have had some....issues with other people i've met on here but never directly had confrontation with them? most of the time that's happened i figure it's been one-sided though because i can get irritated with certain behavior really quickly—like i always say my heart is big and open but my bullshit tolerance is dangerously low—but when that's the case i'll just unfollow or block without saying anything?

although back in the day there was one instance (and seriously if anyone remembers this you deserve a medal because this shit was Ridiculous) where i kinda but not really called out another 1d fanartist who posted untagged noncon fanart they'd done of at least two of the boys, and then acted like it was no big deal (like. 1. those are irl people my dude and 2. untagged noncon art?? in front of my salad??) and their friends kept defending them for it and tried to come for me claiming i was a proponent of Purity Culture when i'm not and literally all i said in my post on it was that in my own opinion it was kinda fucked up to draw noncon art of real life people—not characters played by actors! but actual real people as themselves—in the first place, but if you felt the need to post highly triggering content like that the least you could do was tag it accordingly

but i think that was the last time properly so i guess times within this fanbase are still chaotic as ever just in a different way?

15. how do you feel about "you need to rb this" posts?

Annoyed™️ like don't guilt trip me over a post lmao i do what i want !!

16. do you like tag games?

YES i love to talk about myself after years of trying not to show any personality online out of fear of judgement dfjkngdf

17. do you like ask games?

yes! i want to do them more but i'm always afraid of reblogging one and then getting nothing and looking like a Fool :'(

18. which one of your mutuals is tumblr famous?

i guess i have a few moots that are kinda well-known or at least get good interaction within the community we're a part of? also isn't that phrase kind of an oxymoron at this point adfjkdf

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

not past platonic friendly affection lmao but honestly what is it like to have a realistic crush on an actual tangible person versus someone in the public eye who doesn't even know i exist.....it's been so long and i am so lonely please send help

20. tags?

@niallnailme @bolitodequeso @milkcurls @exzouis @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk @got-my-devotion @aliensyndrome uhhh anyone who'd like to please consider yourself tagged by me! literally if there was an 'all my moots' button i'd just pick that lmao and as always no pressure/sorry if you've already done this and i haven't seen!

[thesportssoundoff]

Lists ‘N Stuff: The Top 10 UFC WWs from 2010 to 2019

I like lists! It’s my thing these days I guess. I started doing this particular list because my attempt at creating the top 10 boxing welterweights of the 2000s was pretty much DOA given how most of the guys you’d expect (Cotto, Mayweather, Pacquaio, Mosley) all jumped around weight classes so frequently in that era that I’d either be left removing Floyd (who fought thrice at the weight) or Pacquaio (twice) or trying to justify how Carlos Quintana and Louis Collazo were actually really genuinely top 10 welterweights. I figured I could extend that to just 140 and 147 lbs but at that point I gave up. Instead let’s jump sports and go right to MMA which I’ve been chronologically bullshitting about on here since 2012. Just HOW good was the UFC’s welterweight division from 2010 to 2019? Well let’s do the hard work!

Couple of caveats here:

-This is strictly based upon 1) your fights at WW only and 2) your fights ONLY in the UFC. Guys who were fighting outside the organization don’t have those fights count against your record.

-There’s a FIVE fight minimum to be eligible. This is primarily due to not wanting to have to deal with “What about Conor/Nate/Nick?!” questions. 

-Unless a fighter actually popped positive on a drug test, I did not try to  dock anybody who I suspected of being on PEDs. We know the UFC was the wild wild west for most of this era so rather than be the equivalent of the guy who swears RDA is on steroids because “Well he started winning then he lost!”, I stuck to the facts. 

Honorable Mentions:

Colby Covington- As much as we all may dislike Covington for what he does and says, the fact of the matter is that Colby Covington is a genuinely good welterweight. Wins over Robbie Lawler, Demian Maia and Rafael Dos Anjos are his two big punctuation marks but this is also a guy who gave Kamaru Usman hell for an extended period in their title fight and holds a bevy of solid under the radar wins over the likes of Max Griffin and Dong Hyun Kim. I could see somebody putting Covington on their top 10 and I wouldn't begrudge them at all. I just couldn't cross that bridge on my end.

Rafael Dos Anjos- RDA is probably a top 10 all time lightweight and one of the greatest fighters of the 2010s but I still think I prefer RDA's dominance as a lightweight. As a welterweight he got off to a tremendously hot start in the weight class punctuated by a win over Robbie Lawler but from then on? It's been a pretty dry run. Since the Lawler fight, RDA is 1-4 and the pattern is pretty much out there. If you pressure him early and prevent him from getting a good feel for the space and pace of the fight, he's a pretty easy touch. He's gritty and durable but he basically exists now to test if you're ready for the big step up. I'm not a big fan of the gatekeeper label for dudes like RDA so I prefer the term mini boss. He's the guy who checks to see if you're ready for the big boss.

Leon Edwards- Leon Edwards is 10-2 and coming off a career defining win over RDA and yet he's not in the top 10? Against fighters who have better records than him?! To begin with, Edwards has a looot of dead air on his resume. We're talking about guys who weren't even relevant at the time of their fight. A green Vicente Luque and Bryan Barberena were his good wins but not exactly top 10 worthy, especially given the UFC roster bloat. There's also only one guy on the top 10 list who did NOT get at least an interim title shot and that guy beat him up in a backstage fight so it's not like I could squeeze him in. I also have to admit (unfortunately) that Edwards is sort of a dull fighter who tends to get overlooked on lists like this.

Jake Shields- I don't think there's anything wrong with Jake Shields sneaking onto this list. Shields' run as a welterweight in the UFC was a 4-3 jaunt (that felt like the 100 year war) with wins over some damn good fighters but mostly in close contested score card-y fights. On paper though wins over Woodley and Maia SHOULD get you into the top 10 though so again, if he's on yours then fine. No shame in losses to Hector Lombard, GSP and Ellenberger.

Jake Ellenberger- If you remove the last five fights of his career when he was just sort of being trudged out there because “He hit hard so he can always win a fight!”, Jake Ellenberger has a spiffy record of 9-6 with wins over the likes of Jake Shields, Josh Koscheck and a not exactly cooked Diego Sanchez while his losses are to the likes of Rory Mac, Robbie Lawler, Wonderboy and the generally underrated Martin Kampmann. Not a top 10 for the decade even at that point but the rise of the elite four in Colby, Masvidal, Usman and Woodley and him continually getting fights over and over and over haven’t been kind to him. Ellenberger, Kampmann and Carlos Condit are the three guys who will always be sort of forgotten by modern fans who deserve their just due.

------------------------

1- Georges St. Pierre Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 6-0 Record in title fights- 6-0 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-0

So in hindsight, GSP's resume is not exactly all that hot. Dan Hardy, Jake Shields and Josh Koscheck all pretty much faded out of relevancy shortly after their title fights although GSP probably ended Koscheck's career. GSP's record is a mere 6-0 and he pretty much sat out the Woodley/Lawler/Hendricks era of MMA minus a cameo to claim the UFC's middleweight crown. Ignore that part of his resume and instead remember that GSP tore his ACL on TWO separate occasions and there were genuine questions about his ability to come back and fight. Not only did he come back but he came back with basically the same style that made him a legend slightly tweaked and amplified to overcome his lack of explosiveness. GSP will always be viewed differently because he didn't finish fights but again, he was pretty much cooked physically well into his early 30s due to repeated knee injuries. What's more? GSP should be #1 overall if only because he is one of the few guys in MMA who was able to continually dictate his own terms. He was able to pick who he fought because for years he fought EVERYBODY there was to fight. He was able to choose where he fought because he was the UFC's biggest draw before the rise of Conor McGregor. He beat Hendricks in a close fight, realized his health took priority and retired. He started a media war with the UFC and won that too. Then he returns, coaxes the UFC into giving him a middleweight title fight, wins that and then realizes that he doesn't have to fight anymore against what was at the time a rising crop of genuinely bad ass middleweight contenders like Robert Whittaker, Yoel Romero and the likes of Weidman, Jacare, Gastelum, Rockhold and so on so forth. GSP got in, got titles, got paid and then got out when the situation didn't seem right to him. That's #1 shit.

2- Tyron Woodley Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 9-3-1 Record in title fights- 4-1-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 4-2-1

To quote the always esteemed "Tyron Woodley is just going to continue to piss people off." Woodley's UFC reign began with him bombing out Jay Heiron on short notice and then he followed that up by smelting Jay Heiron and then sort of stumbled over his feet to the tune of a 2-2 record. After his loss to Rory MacDonald in June of 2014, Woodley went on one of the welterweight divisions more impressive tears with wins over Dong Hyun Kim, Robbie Lawler, Stephen Thompson and Darren Till to name a few. Woodley's fights were either really great (Thompson I, Till) or really awful  (Thompson II, Gastelum) with very little in between space. His 4-1-1 record in title fights and 4-2-1 record against competition on this ledger paint the picture of one of MMA's best neutralizers and one of the greatest resumes of the 2010s. Woodley's 2019 pretty much hit the skids as he lost to Kamaru Usman in a blow out and then pretty much disappeared with hand and shoulder issues. Woodley's probably approaching the back 9 of his career but I would be stunned if he wasn't in the top 3 welterweights all time even when the NEXT decade ended. All hail MMA's greatest nuisance.

3-  Robbie Lawler Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 9-5 Record in title fights- 3-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 4-2

I remain a sentimentalist I suppose. The latter days of the Lawler era are painful in large part because years of wars and a style that willingly sacrificed rounds 2 to 4 finally caught up with Robbie Lawler. He just sort of fell apart which isn't too surprising since from December 2013 to Jan 2016 he fought NINE times with FIVE of those fights going a full five rounds. From that period of time Lawler has  win over Rory MacDonald (twice), Carlos Condit, Jake Ellenberger, Matt Brown, Johny Hendricks with FOUR fight of the nights and FOUR UFC title fights. Robbie Lawler spoiled us to believe welterweight fights were always awesome because every fight he was in WAS awesome. The latter era of Lawler is pretty sad. Woodley beat IMO the last image of a prime Robbie Lawler but after that I think it's fair to say the fire was gone. He probably deserved to lose to Donald Cerrone as well if we're being honest. The one brief flicker of light was against Ben Asken in a fight I thought he won prior to Askren pulling out a sub in a rally come from behind 1st round "win" dare I say. Lawler has had a lot of injuries, a lot of inactivity (he fought the same number of fights in 2014 alone than he has since the start of 2017) and sometimes the magic just runs out.

4- Kamaru Usman Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 11-0 Record in title fights- 2-0 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-0

Next to Wonderboy vs Rory MacDonald, Lawler vs Usman was a tremendous struggle for me. Kamaru Usman's steadier and had more of a balance to his career. Even if he had slipped up once or twice prior to this, Usman's overall dominance is stupendous. Wins over RDA and a bunch of good welterweights like Leon Edwards, Sergio Moraes and Colby Covington are good enough to get you on the list but getting into the top 5 requires you to scalp Tyron Woodley in a blowout. Usman's here because for most of the early portions of his UFC career, he was borderline brutal to watch and his competition was pretty blegh/eh/meh. Usman's rise really took off in after the Emil Meek fight and the Woodley/Covington back to back performances vaulted him up the rankings big time. The fun part with Usman is seeing how high he'll go when this list is re-done in 2030 or so. By the time we hit 2022 or so, Usman could have wins over Masvidal, Edwards (again), Covington (again) and potentially a whole new banner crop of welters.

5- Stephen Thompson Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 10-4-1 Record in title fights- 0-1-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 3-1-1

If we decided to rank these dudes in order of politeness, Thompson and Maia would be fighting for the #1 spot. Sometimes I wonder if Wonderboy is forgotten when we discuss the best UFC fighters to never win a title. On this list alone, he beat Johny Hendricks, Jorge Masvidal and Rory MacDonald. He gave two tough title fights to Tyron Woodley while holding the title of having arguably the biggest disparity in title fight quality in said title fights. He'll probably never live down getting smelted by a pudgy lightweight in Anthony Pettis and that alone could've been enough to knock him down the charts I suppose. I wonder how the WW division would've changed if Wonderboy arrives in, say, 2010 or so as opposed to 2012. He's just never had the gear to go out and take a tough fight away from the other guy which is why he lost twice to Woodley and suffered that kind of brutal decision loss to Darren Till.

6- Rory MacDonald Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 9-4 Record in title fights- 0-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-4

Rory entered the UFC in 2010 and was gone before 2016 was over. In six years, he has one of MMA's most impressive resumes with a whose who of fights against the elite of the elites. He fought Robbie Lawler twice, Carlos Condit, Demian Maia, Stephen Thompson, BJ Penn, Jake Ellenberger and Tyron Woodley and that's all without looking it up. He'll always be defined by the war vs Robbie Lawler that basically broke him beyond repair. Rory may not be a top 3 WW but of the ten names on this list, he's arguably among the more culturally significant to the MMA landscape. Rory is without question one of the best welterweights of his era and I also think he's one of the few dudes who did it while almost certainly without steroids. My hat is off to him.

7- Demian Maia Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 12-5 Record in title fights- 0-1 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-3

So when I originally did this list, I had Demian Maia MUCH higher up. Like above Rory higher. Maia being ranked above Rory Mac sounds like a bit of a crock given how MacDonald beat Maia BUT I'm also accounting for long term career relevance in a sense. Maia's still having competitive fights at WW (pause on that Burns fight) and beating up on dudes sometimes 15 years younger than him while Rory is 3-2-1 since leaving the UFC and 3-4-1 since 2015 ended. That said when you factor in the Woodley performances for each guy plus Rory's prime being so magnetic (and the win in the H-2-H matchup, I made a switch). When you consider how utterly one dimension Demian Maia is, it's a testament to how insane that dimension is that he's up this high.  Maia has wins over list guys Carlos Condit, Jorge Masvidal and relatively dominant performances over dudes you'd recognize like Ben Askren, Lyman Good, Neil Magny, Gunnar Nelson and then undefeated Ryan LaFlare. His losses are to genuinely legitimately awesome fighters like Rory MacDonald, Kamaru Usman and Tyron Woodley.

8- Johny Hendricks Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 10-6 Record in title fights- 1-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 2-3

Hendricks is another dude who had an unceremonious ending to his career. From 2011 to 2015, he was genuinely at worst #3 in the welterweight rankings. We're talking a resume loaded with guys like Josh Koscheck, Carlos Condit, Martin Kapmann, John Fitch, Matt Brown, GSP and Robbie Lawler all on the docket. I went back and watched Hendricks vs GSP for this and still come away thinking Johny got jobbed. Hendricks' career will always be filled with question marks and what if's. We'll never know whether he was on steroids and we'll never know what would've happened if Hendricks would've kept himself in shape more consistently to avoid the ballooning up that eventually fucked his body up.  We'll never know if he would've beaten GSP in a rematch or how he would've done had the rumored Nick Diaz vs Johny Hendricks fight that was in talks for 2015 (the one which led to Anderson vs Nick Diaz) would've panned out. Hendricks is a what if but the fact he is a what if while also being a top 10 welterweight for a loaded decade of great fighters is a damn testament to how big of a whirlwind he was for the beginning of the decade.  

9- Jorge Masvidal Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 7-5 Record in title fights- 0-0 Record against other fighters on the list- 0-2

Jorge Masvidal makes it onto the list primarily due to his run on the back half of the 2010s. Regardless of how you feel about Darren Till, Nate Diaz and Ben Askren, those are three of the most impressive wins of 2019. He was in the running for 2019's FOTY (I believe he WAS my pick) and is having a seriously impressive second half of his career. Even his losses are all in pretty damn close fights minus Wonderboy who just casually pieced him up. The reason he's so low is that the two guys on this list that he fought, he lost to. Masvidal historically has been a guy who can feast on the lower portions of (insert division/rankings here) but when it comes to the step up, he never actually takes the next step in fights he can CLEARLY win. If he ever fights Kamaru Usman, he could move up higher on the list and if he wins then we need to talk about Masvidal as having a Bisping-esque career resume.

10- Carlos Condit Record in the 10s (Jan 1st 2010 to December 31st 2019)- 6-8 Record in title fights- 1-2 Record against other fighters on the list- 1-5

If Carlos Condit had simply retired like he planned to after the Maia loss, he would've retired 6-5 with wins over the likes of Rory MacDonald, Nick Diaz and Martin Kampmann from 2010 to 2019. Instead his resume was littered with rough losses in three straight fights against substandard competition. Carlos Condit's run from 2011 to 2013 is stuff of legend but the tide clearly turned after tearing his ACL vs Tyron Woodley. He had one big turning back the clock performance vs Robbie Lawler in a fight I still to this day feel like he won. Condit's body and lack of significant pop in his hands just put the ceiling on his career. Condit's back 9 of the 2010s are ugly but on the front leg, he was the first dude to beat DHK, the first to beat Rory MacDonald, beat Nick Diaz, gave GSP his toughest fight in years and IMO beat Johny Hendricks. Also come on now dudes. If you think Condit wasn't on this list somehow then you don't know me.

[rugessnome]

I'm going to pretend @overlyelegantstranger tagged me... 1. Nickname: Mouse is my longstanding online nickname, and for a bit less, DT (for Darth Tenebrous, actually, given my URL) ...actually I spelled Adrien the way I did because I've an OC who shortens her (different) name to "Ien", but I haven't found it convenient to introduce, nor convinced myself it refers to me. 2. Zodiac sign: I'm supposedly a Taurus; actually the sun was in Aries at my birth, and while those often suit me in tumblr astrology, I resent the assigned nature of it all so uh... also no. 3. Height: Five four, maybe five foot five if I'm lucky and standing particularly straight 4. Hogwarts house: Mostly Ravenclaw, with some Slytherin sympathies and a newfound appreciation for Hufflepuff. I will actively resent Gryffindor colors unless you tell me they're actually Shuos (even though I would probably be a Nirai, if anything, in the hexarchate. But I love certain of my foxes.) and/or somehow Sith. 5. Last thing I googled: "Nebuchadnezzar poisoning", because @piermanwalter reminded me of an anecdote in The Disappearing Spoon about how the eating grass thing might have been prompted by inadvertent poisoning. I didn't remember which element; turns out it's lead AND antimony. 6. Favourite musicians: Idk; Over the Rhine are up there, and lately The Mountain Goats. I've also seen Belle & Sebastian and Camera Obscura in concert, so I suppose they're up there. Vienna Teng, Regina Spektor... This is an incomplete list. 7. Song stuck in my head: the phrasing of this question keeps putting some song I don't even really know that has "over my head, over my head" in it? But really it's OTR's "And Can It Ever Be?", with which I am a little obsessed anew, because: "This night is so dark/this night is silence, and very little fear/tell me that this welcome peace/isn't dancing with the ghost of future tears" 8. Following now: four hundred ish? I'm going to check and come back and edit. The vast majority of whom are inactive and/or not personal blogs. 9. Followers: I think this is around 500, although I am/may be long overdue for a purge of spam/porn blogs 10. Do I get asks: Mostly only when I ask for them. But occasionally. 11. Amount of sleep: I gravitate towards about 8 hours. I am practically nonfunctional normally on much less than 6, and lately, thanks to um... anxiety, even getting by on 6 is difficult. 12. Lucky number: ...in some ways π, in some ways e 13. What I’m wearing: Star Trek ~lounge pants I made from Enterprise/"Star Trek" print fabric, and an oversized t-shirt I got when I participated in a litter cleanup 14. Dream job: uhhh something involving as many as possible of: sci-comm, math or programming tasks, a result helpful to people, and maybe a bit of domestic travel now and again?? Idk, I seem to change my mind on this frequently and don't really have a good or set idea. 15. Dream trip: I think the idea I'm most into at the moment is one day, hoping the present situation doesn't actually end service for good, is riding the uh "Empire Builder" Amtrak route through the northern US. Aside from that, I recently went to West Virginia and western Pennsylvania and would enjoy going back and also I am (except for quarantine concerns) almost always up for a road trip to Michigan. 16. Favourite food: this is not something I am good at deciding. There are too many good ones. Something, such as I had for dinner, involving potatoes, corn tortillas, and some peppers and tomatoes (or tomatillos in something else) and cheese as seasoning is my idea of great comfort food. I appreciate a good meatloaf but I also really don't mind eating vegetarian meals on a regular basis, given they're something I like. 17. Instruments: um. I can kinda play a few pieces, with idiosyncratic timing, on keyboard/piano and that's about it. I don't fluently read music though I might be able to work through something in treble clef. I recently acquired a cheap ukulele but I am struggling with tuning it, or understanding how it's used in songs or... 18. Languages: rusty, at best I was almost capable of halting conversation, German and Spanish. I have the Duolingo Latin tree but I don't think it's um... that extensive. I have learned a little Russian and beyond that just... too many interests, without much time being devoted to any of them. 19. Favourite song: I'm into "And Can It Ever Be?" anew, as I said above; also more recently "Your Honor" and "Ghost of Corporate Future" off Soviet Kitsch (aand, a bit awkwardly, "Hotel Song"). "You Or Your Memory" "Dance Music" "This Year" and "Up the Wolves" (which is to say that basically the larger part of my album rotation lately is Soviet Kitsch, The Sunset Tree, and Till We Have Faces)... 20. Random fact: I have been watching retro computer repair videos lately (Adrian's Digital Basement esp) and they've made me kinda want to learn to solder. Though I'm not sure whether I'll look into this before we're past current events or not. (Probably I'd start with some of the kits from Evil Mad Scientist Labs) 21. Aesthetic Standing in a broad-shouldered greatcoat surveying a wintry landscape, perhaps feeling powerful, but with a note of melancholy and humility to it. Welcoming a dear friend in, pet in arms, with an array of beautiful if homely chopped vegetables and prepared ingredients inside waiting to be cooked up. A hobbit math professor relaying an algebra theorem or a physics application. Walking near a wetland in a flannel, among the trees and wildlife.

[fisherfurbearer]

17 Questions

Tagged by @poikilomatters !! Well tagged my main blog but this is what I use most lol.

Rules: Answer 17 questions & tag 17 people you want to know better

Nickname: I don’t think I have one?? I guess folks sometimes call me Bri (pronounced like the cheese) in person but I’m indifferent.

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Height: 5′ 3.75″ exactly

Hogwart’s House: Hufflepuff!

Last Thing I Googled: “native snakes in the united states” I love learning about native fauna and flora. Also recently finished reading up on a lot of Good Stuff about coniferous trees and also turkeys for some reason. Also I usually have something like 140-160 tabs open at a time, for research purposes. Right now its 11 windows and 198 tabs but that’ll go down shortly after I finish reading about Native Snakes. c:

Song Stuck in my Head: “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” by Creedence Clearwater Revival...they sure do love singing about the rain!

Following and Followers: Following 512?? Some are probably inactive these days though I’ll have to go through them. Followers on this blog is 462! And none of them are bots, which I viciously block!! And any not-nice folks (t.erfs, etc.) or blatant porn blogs.

Amount of Sleep I Get: These days, way too much...usually get up around 11-12ish and frequently get tired around 3-4 pm and sleep until like 6-9 pm. It’s really not good. But I do get a LOT done in the brief periods of time I’m awake, so that’s good!

Lucky Number(s): I’m not sure!! I don’t believe in lucky numbers, just numbers that “look” nice/clean. Ex. Anything that ends in 0 or 5 is great. If it has to be below a dozen, then any even numbers below 12 or odd numbers 3 and 5 look “good.”

Dream Job: It’d take too long to talk about but I basically want to have a small farm/orchard and conserve native heritage livestock and plants, as well as historically important or ancient breeds/strains, and do a lot of hands-on conservation work for our local forests and rivers...might even attend Mont Alto in a few years if things go that way, and get an associates in Forestry. Really just want to work with Trees and Animals, especially Bugs and Reptiles and Livestock and Birds and what have you. Ideally mostly from home or in the field, self-employed mostly with art on the side. But I’d love to work with other folks too and do some fieldwork.

Wearing: Shorts and a gaudy floral shirt from walmart.

Favorite Song(s): UHH there are too many so I’ll just list the sort of CDs I have in my car off the top of my head...let’s see...

- Billy Joel (my FAVORITE!! I have an old four CD collection, I’m only missing a few songs!!)

- Electric Light Orchestra (I HAVE ALMOST ALL THEIR SONGS, MR. BLUE SKY ISNT THE ONLY ONE!! MOST PEOPLE ARE MISSING OUT ON SO MUCH!!!!!)

- Metallica (Just a couple CDs...recently got Kill em All, it’s alright just so low quality)

- System of a Down (like 2-3 CDs worth I unironically love their music, very ahh...aggressive compassion??)

- Rage Against the Machine (I think it’s The Battle of Los Angeles? Not my favorite but I think if I heard more I’d like them a lot)

- Rob Zombie/White Zombie (sometimes too not-nice for my liking but the songs I dig I REALLY dig)

-Baby Metal (THEY’RE SO GOOD, I LOVE THEM)

- Creedence Clearwater Revival (my current favorite for those long drives along the river!)

- Johnny Cash (two CD collection, missing a lot of songs though that I’d love to have)

- Elton John (only Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, which is my favorite album by him. I’ve listened to it so many times)

- Billy Eilish (what can I say, she’s frickin’ great)

- Tom Lehrer (not a conventional one but I have a burned CD collection of his from an old friend from years ago and I still love it to bits, just take with a grain of salt and remember it’s supposed to be ripping satire)

- Allan Sherman (same thing as Tom Lehrer, old burned CD from a friend, frickin’ funny, think if Weird Al was a thing in the 1950s)

......also been on the hunt for Of Monsters and Men, Florence and the Machine, and David Bowie for ages but I can never find them. Also Dragonforce, I unironically LOVE Dragonforce, as well as Rhapsody of Fire and Gloryhammer (I’d CRY if I found Space 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards on CD, that’s my FAVORITE)...they’re all such Big Mood. I also might be forgetting some but I think that’s pretty complete, I have Varied Preferences but it’s mostly Chill, Jivin’, or Metal.

Instrument(s): Own a ukulele but I haven’t picked it up in ages

Favorite Author(s): Ray Bradbury, by far, although my favorite NOVEL is One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and my favorite DRAMA is Waiting for Godot  by Samuel Beckett. I also enjoy Ursula Vernon’s work, she was a big inspiration of mine when in middle school-high school.

Favorite Animal Noise(s): The peeps/songs the button quail make, the squeaky toy and buzzing powerline call of grackles, Mr. Jinx’s meows (rip in rest old man), spring peepers, catbird calls, and mockingbird noises. Also Hagrid’s hisses are very amusing too.

Aesthetic: Tank top + overshirt + jeans...instant outfit, ready for anything. Also comfy dresses.

Tagging: Oh man I don’t know a lot of folks...uhh! @craftingwithcat @eclectus-mom and whoever else wants to do this !! ! !

[yeonchi]

Thinking about the future of EDGN

I’ve never asked a lot out of my fans over the years, but to some of my close fans (you know who you are), I’d really appreciate some helpful advice because this is an important decision I’m making that will affect both you, the fans, and myself.

To cut a long story short for a tl;dr, I no longer enjoy posting about the voice languages in localised Japanese games because of some recent events and realisations and I want to retire from the English Dubbed Game News page altogether.

It’s been about five years since I started all this with the Koei Warriors Rant Series and since then, everything I’ve done that’s related to English dub has brought me nothing but hate. I know it’s a bit of an exaggeration and some of my close fans may have something to say to the contrary, but I’ve been feeling quite negative lately and because of that, I think it’s a brutally honest summary.

After ending the Dub Logistics series, I thought the one thing I could do to repay my fans for their support over the years was to continue posting on EDGN. Personally, I think I’ve done enough already and also, as I said in a post back in August, I’ve been having doubts about the future of the page and what I want to do with it given my current interests. There are several factors that led to me having these doubts, which I’ll be outlining after the break. (I can’t even put horizontal lines in my posts with the rich text editor now, thanks Tumblr)

1. I was never interested in any game outside of the Koei Warriors series or any game I played in the past (eg. Dissidia Final Fantasy).

This really shouldn’t be a surprise to my fans because in the past, I’ve rarely posted anything outside of the series I was interested in, including the aforementioned series. If I came across something by chance and liked it, then I would do some investigation into it, but these days, the spark just doesn’t want to light up anymore.

I’ve never really taken the chance to buy new games because my family doesn’t believe in buying things that aren’t important and as such, I took that mantra to heart. While I never brought a PS3, I did get a Nintendo Wii, but I traded it in later for a Wii U and not a PS4, which I still regret to this day. I pirated my PSP, DS and PC games (let’s face it, who doesn’t) and played with emulators on my computer. I only got a Steam account to play Team Fortress 2 (laggy though it was on my shitty computer) and I never brought anything from it, which made it difficult for me to add friends on there (not that they really cared in the end).

By extension, this applies to anime as well, which is the reason why I never post anything outside of the same few animes on the Waifu Network or on my Facebook pages. My belief on sexism in anime has also contributed to this disinterest; the only reason why I’m still posting the same few animes is because I’m still somewhat interested in them and I’m grateful for how they inspired some personal projects of mine.

2. Various factors have led me to lose interest in video games, including the Koei Warriors Series.

The reason why I started my dub crusade in the first place was because of Warriors Orochi 3 (Ultimate) and Samurai Warriors 4 not being dubbed. The reason why I decided to jump ship was because of Dynasty Warriors 9 being dubbed, just not with the same cast I had grown to love. I know that there were extenuating circumstances for the latter, but given everything that happened between that time, my hope that the old English voice cast (since Dynasty Warriors 4-6/Warriors Orochi 1-2) would return to voice that game (and other future games) was gone.

In addition to the previous factor, I started to find myself with more commitments than I had in past years, along with some different interests that I picked up along the way. At first, I didn’t feel like playing games because of my commitments, but eventually, it got to the point where I didn’t want to play most video games again because of the disappointment I’ve experienced from Koei Tecmo. Learning about all the things that AAA gaming companies do to reduce expenditure and increase revenue turned me off from video games as well. In my opinion, it wasn’t so much a boycott (per se) than it was a loss of interest.

3. The original group of people who inspired me to start writing these rants are now gone.

I know I’ve had other fans since the start of all this, but the original group had a special place in all this because of it. There were four people in the original group, who I met on Koei’s original Facebook page, and they were as follows:

The first one did comment on my older stuff, but he left quite early, possibly since DW8E’s release. I saw that he deactivated his account some time in 2017.

The second one had a YouTube channel and he was an admin on one of my Facebook pages for some time, but then he left after a period of inactivity without any explanation.

The third one was the more prominent because of his LGBT status and mental health issues. In the middle of 2015, he announced to everyone that he was deactivating his Facebook account because it was a burden on his mental health. He reactivated his account some time later, but he deactivated it again in September 2017 and hasn’t come back since. During that time, I saw a post from him stating that he was going to take a lot of pills and commit suicide. I reported it to Facebook in the hope that it might encourage him to find some help, even though I remember him stating that nothing works for him anymore. When I noticed that he hadn’t come back to Facebook months after he deactivated his account the second time, I assumed the worst.

The fourth one, also known as the family man or “the last one standing”, deactivated his account in June this year. We never really talked much, but as I said in this post, I’m still grateful to him for helping me find the new weapon and Musou information in DW8E when the Koei Wiki didn’t have it yet (because the game was just released at the time).

4. The impact of the feud’s aftermath still haunts me to this day.

When I agreed to end the feud on a mutual understanding a couple of years back, I promised myself that I would quickly move on from the troll behind it and not keep reminding myself of everything that happened. However, I’m a person that’s prone to anxiety when I think of worst-case-scenarios and at times, I found myself thinking about what would have happened had my Facebook account been deleted just because a troll couldn’t take the L when he got owned by someone half his age (compare that to Leafy who made terrible criticisms of people who are older than him, then claimed that he can hide behind the fact that he is younger than them). Him coming back out of nowhere earlier this year didn’t do any favours for anyone either. Regardless of that, I’ve got my bottom ground and I’ll continue to live on it regardless of what anyone else thinks of me.

I’d like to take a moment to digress and talk about cancel culture and political censorship. Because both parties in the feud weren’t exactly that popular (we had our own little fanbases, but that’s it), me and the other party “cancelling” each other (admittedly) didn’t seem to have as much an effect as we had hoped. Other factors that contributed to this could be that cancel culture (an extension to call-out culture) wasn’t that much of a thing two years ago and when the other party tried to cancel me, he made no attempt to spread the word to his fans. It was likely that he was trying to show mercy, but that doesn’t explain why he kept reporting my posts relating to him and current events in Hong Kong, knowing that I would eventually get banned if I didn’t call him out on it. I was as much a victim than I admittedly was an offender of cancel culture.

Following the feud, I’ve become wary of social media censorship because I experienced what it was like for someone to get petty and get people deplatformed by mass reporting them. Other pages like meme pages have suffered the same fate in the past (mostly because people take certain jokes too seriously), but despite my hopes, it didn’t seem like Facebook was going to do anything about the petty mass-reporting of those pages. Recently, however, I’ve been seeing news on tech companies being grilled over the censorship of conservatives and President Trump criticising them for the same thing. I’m not saying that I’m supporting Trump backing the pages that are being censored (conservative, far-right, alt-right, you name it), but I hope that this can hopefully extend to random meme pages being reported for petty reasons.

5. Ever since I decided to stop being toxic, I found myself conflicted when confronted with more toxic comments to the point that I’ve started to become paranoid over negative criticism.

When I decided to change the #NoDubNoBuy page to EDGN, I hoped that the hate towards my page would be reduced somewhat, but I never expected that it would be gone entirely. Since then, three people have made negative comments on the page; one was a girl who saw one of my posts being shared on a private group, misunderstood the (new) purpose of the page and despite her attitude, was still somewhat respectful, one was a Europoor dub hater from Spain (from what I’ve seen and learnt, Europeans tend to be sub fans and/or dub haters because of their English comprehension and ability to read subtitles) and one was an Americuck soyboy dub hater who pointed out about “crybaby fans” (”fans” as in the gatekeeping term “fake fans”, never mind my theory that people, especially men, who call other people, especially other men, “crybabies” are actually spreading toxic masculinity) who liked stuff to be Americanised but didn’t acknowledge the Japanese origins.

I’m gonna go off on a tangent and do a bit of an ad-homimem here (but it’s alright because I’m going to rebut his point next) and point out that I called the Americuck a soyboy because he had quite a long beard, but to be honest, if I called everyone who had beards “soyboys”, that would make people like Count Dankula and Sargon of Akkad “soyboys” as well, so it’d be a pretty slippery slope if I didn’t clarify who I was talking about.

Now, I’m going to move back on another tangent and rebut the soyboy’s point, because I think this is a pretty important point to address. No one is saying outright that they want Japanese games to be Americanised in terms of cultural references (if 4Kids has taught us anything). Saying that Americanisation is responsible for bad dubbing is a bit like blaming video games for causing violence. If someone says that they would like a game to be dubbed into English in localisation, then it is presumed that they want the dialogue to be dubbed in addition to the text being translated (or “dublated”). Any cultural changes made to the game or the dialogue are entirely the responsibility of those who made those changes, like the gaming companies who censor stuff for Western audiences, so if you’re complaining about a Japanese game being too “Americanised”, don’t take it out on dub fans because chances are that they didn’t want the dub to be too “Americanised” either.

Completing the square and going back to the original tangent, I didn’t post any of their comments to the dub hater comments album because I had deleted it after the feud in the hope that I wouldn’t be as toxic as I had been before. You can probably already see how toxic I would probably be if the above responses were posted on the page and directed back at them, which would mean that I’m not upholding myself to the standards I wanted to follow.

6. I’m becoming more and more concerned about current events to worry about things like English dubbing in video games.

If you’re someone who has unironically thought that I was making a big deal over something you thought was minor, then this is going to sound very ironic for you. From all these years of learning and research, I’ve attained an expansive world view and while I have made jokes about current events in the past to lighten the mood or express my anger, deep down I’m actually concerned about these things, particularly in regards to Hong Kong during this politically sensitive time.

For some reason, my desire to make posts has decreased because in addition to the above factors, I’ve been getting more and more worried about current affairs. Granted, the point of things like anime and video games and the Internet is to provide an escape from reality, but in the end, I guess that you have to face it whether you like it or not.

Making the decision to stop posting on EDGN hasn’t been an easy one, but all the factors I described above have gradually made it easier. Like the Undub page did, I had considered changing the focus of my page to merely report on the voice languages of games without saying whether we approve or reject it because it isn’t dubbed in English/Japanese; that is, we report on them with an unbiased viewpoint. Not adding excessively biased pro-dub comments on our posts has made it more neutral, but in the end, it didn’t stop the dub hater cucks. I should point out that one of the reasons why I wanted to change the #NoDubNoBuy page to EDGN was so that we could reduce the amount of hate we were getting.

What was the original goal of me starting this dub crusade? If you have read my rants in the past, then you will have picked up my hopes that Japanese games would be localised to the West with full Japanese and English dubbing and that if game companies couldn’t achieve that, then they should apologise and explain why. Would I say that I achieved or failed to achieve this goal? Not really, because over the years, I learnt a lot about the video game and voiceover industries and gradually realised that it’s not as straightforward as I had initially hoped. To be honest, it was kind of stupid of me to hope that gaming companies would say anything straightforward about this, but on the other hand, I learnt that gaming companies are like politicians as well; they say the things they want to say and not the things people want to hear.

To my fans, particularly my close fans, feel free to send me your opinions about my decision, however if you’re trying to change my mind, then I’m not sure if it can be changed so easily. If you think that I haven’t lived up to what you expect from me, then I’m sorry, but in the end, I have to think of myself as well.

If I could say one thing to the dub fanbase, I want to ask why no one else has ever tried to do something like EDGN. You have your groups and pages on social media and yet, it had to take two people pissed off with the dubbing direction of gaming companies to do it. Granted, that was how the Undub page started, with the lack of Japanese voices in localised games, and yet they didn’t get as much hate as my page did.

If there is anyone out there who wants to follow in my footsteps and make a page like EDGN, let me be the first to give you my blessing because I’m not going to be like the Undub page when they discovered us and point fingers for copying their posts when in the end, games are the same to everyone. While transparency regarding voice languages has increased over the years, there was never a place where dub fans could know about what games were dubbed in English. You don’t have to be like me and make a series of rants about why some games aren’t dubbed, because I’ve already done it, but instead, I suggest going the unbiased route as I stated earlier. Of course, you don’t have to follow my advice - it’s your page, after all.

My plan is to retire from EDGN at the end of the year. I have 12 more games in the backlog, all with English voices, and I’m hoping to post them all on the page before then. I probably won’t remove myself as an admin (because I think there’ll be some petty, obsessed cuck who’ll dig out my posts and make a rant series on me or something), but I’ll probably have it so that I can forget about the page as time goes on.

With this, my dub crusade has come to an end. Once again, to the fans, I’m sorry and I thank you for your support. As always, it is your choice as to whether you wish to continue following me, whether on Facebook or Tumblr, after my retirement.

[kasienda]

2018 Fanfic Year In Review

1 List of fics completed this year: 8!! Though I might be cheating by including each reveal as its own fic, but to be fair to myself, each reveal is a self-contained story, so… I think it counts!) Going it Alone – finished the last two chapters in 2018 after almost a year with no updates! It’s still surreal that this is a finished product!  Box of Chocolates – Series of One-shots for @mamousaweek 2018!  Reveals - where various characters (usually UsaMamo) figure out someone’s or each other’s identities: Touch Gratitude Unworthy Secrecy Fatherhood Disappointment I also started these two new gems: Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes - my dive into writing comedy Coming of Age - sequel to Going it Alone that loosely follows the Black Moon Arc of the anime and manga.  And I pulled off a whole single update way back in February for: Invisible Wounds - Kind’ve a medical drama that includes a romantic plot for Ami x Zoi. And has some major feminist themes (that I mostly haven’t gotten to yet...)   2 Number of words written: 77,816!!!!!!! Holy shit! That is so much higher than I thought it was! It didn’t feel like that much! I have felt sooooo slow. (I apparently just have too many projects going at once, so it often feels like I’m not making forward progress). I’m so excited. Thank you for making me do this @floraone​, if only for this revelation! 3 Your most popular fic: Going it Alone – this story has twice as many hits, comments, follows, and faves than the next runner up in my writing library. To be fair though, it didn’t collect all of those in 2018 as this story took me four years to complete. I think Coming of Age and Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes may surpass it, as they have way more follows/faves than Going it Alone had in its first year.  4 Your personal fav: Coming of Age – I know I’m not that far into this one. I truly think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, but goodness, I love this story – both what is already there, and where it’s going.  5 Your fav scene: Right now? Probably the opening chapter of Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes. But I reserve the right to change my mind! I just like the dynamic of mixing Usagi into Mamoru’s head. It was so fun, especially when he has absolutely no clue what is going on. It’s an easy piece for me to read over again and it still makes me laugh!  6 A fic or scene that challenged you: What fic doesn’t challenge me?! Invisible Wounds and Coming of Age both feel so big!! And that feels overwhelming at times (So did Going It Alone when I was in the middle, so there’s definitely hope!). In Invisible Wounds I feel like I’ve JUST finished the intro arc (assuming a three arc structure) and it’s already 33k words long! Sheesh! And with Coming of Age, I’ve barely dipped a toe in and it’s already stretching me because I really want it to live up to the vision in my head, which is EPIC!  And then there’s Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes. This is a romantic comedy! And comedy is HARD and not my natural genre at all, especially when I don’t want it to fall into the category of crack fic. I love how light hearted a fun it is though! And I am so proud of it, even though I have to fight for every bit of it, or maybe I’m so proud of it because I have to fight for every bit of it!  7 A line of writing you’re proud of: Again, it’s hard to pick. Let’s go with this exchange… “I love you too Usako,” Mamoru whispered back. “Are you okay?” “I am. It’s just much easier to imagine now.” “What is?” “What it must have been like for you,” she confided. “After your parents died.” His arms around her tightened. “Let’s make it different for Chibiusa.” 8 A comment that touched you: Guys! There are too many. This month it has been FuN FiFi. This person has slowly methodically gone through every one of my stories this past month, and left a gushing review on each of them. This was the last one they sent just this past week completing my library. I haven’t had the energy to respond, but after a few days of crying, and then a few days of pulling my hair out, these were the absolute best pick me ups. 

Pia Bartolini was another that sent me so many reviews for lots of different stories, and got me writing again after a period of writing inactivity. 

Whenever @floraone​ starts rambling with everything in caps. Like you can just tell how overcome she is with all the feels – it just rolls off the page EVEN IN HER REVIEWS! 

Here’s something similar from @queenrisa14​! Where you can just tell, this fic touched her. That means the world to a writer. 

And this last one holds a truly special place because it’s from my sister. She knows all my fandoms – we were obsessed with them together growing up! And yet, she doesn’t always read them right when they come out. And then suddenly I’ll get a million reviews from her or better yet, a phone call and we’ll talk about my stories and these characters for hours! Cravings for Chocolate Milkshakes was inspired by one of these phone calls.

9 Something that inspired your writing: Honestly? Mostly life probably. I wrote the majority of Going it Alone over two years while feeling isolated, depressed, inadequate, and hopeless. You can bet Coming of Age already channels (and will continue to do so) my experience as a parent, and Invisible Wounds is definitely a product of spending too much time in hospitals and learning to become some kind of nurse myself for my medically complex son.

A lot of the reveals and one shots, I feel were inspired here on Tumblr. From people sending me ideas and prompts! From lovely artwork and fan art. From brainstorming sessions with @floraone​, @tinacentury, and my husband​. Also from comments and reviews!! I cannot tell you the number of times getting a gushing review after a long time of silence has specifically sent me opening up all the story documents determined to finish something! 10 Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc): Can I go back up to that word count?! My life has been insane (and hard) this year (especially since June), and just to see that I never stopped writing through any of it, even though it felt like I didn’t have any time, well, that just feels really good!!

[mistress-of-the-obvious]

Thoughts On Hikaru Quitting Spacecraft and Idle Speculation

Hikaru quitting Spacecraft was surprising and also not. Her message months back stating there was “more behind the scenes” could have meant anything.

It could have meant that she was happy, working on a single, and to please wait. It could have meant she was unhappy and planning to leave Spacecraft when her contract was expiring…that could also have meant she was working on a single since we didn’t know when that is. I just sort of shrugged.

Since that message I have been very unhappy when I’ve seen Hikaru and Wakana. Hikaru’s message was deliberately vague and the idea the she was miserable counting down the days to the end of her contract was heartbreaking. The fact that she was clearly getting email, snail mail, and messages sent to her directly asking what was going on because Spacecraft, her own representative company, refused to explain even a tiny bit and thus refuse to do their job upset me. She was clearly upset enough to write a message about and yet Spacecraft never addressed it. I don’t doubt Wakana is getting similar mail.

In more strangeness, Yuuka Nanri is still listed on Spacecraft’s official site. There is going to be a big anniversary event for Flying Dog with FictionJunction Yuuka. This is pretty big news as she’s been inactive since 2016. Nowhere on the site. She has her own little site that while it has its own domain name has the same design as some of the other sites hosted by Spacecraft. Last news: 2016. Her blog has an update from September saying she’ll be at the Flying Dog event. I suspect her to disappear from Spacecraft’s roster either before the event or sometime after.

In the case of Yuuka, I didn’t think much of it before the event as she went inactive when she became married and had a lot of health problems going back to 2013 slowing her career. It’s pretty typical for Japanese society to expect women after they get married to have children and thus be full time mothers. That is changing though, especially as not all married Japanese women want to or do become mothers.

So when I first saw Yuuka some months back, it was “Wait a minute…oh she’s retired and they’re keeping her on there because she’s still technically under contract. If Spacecraft were to terminate her contract before it was up, they would owe her money.” Now, there’s this event…and they aren’t promoting her.

Going back to Keiko’s trademark claim, I have some new information where the results are rather curious.

I found this great youtube channel called TheJapanChannelDcom. It’s by an Australian man with a Japanese wife, children, and has been living in the Nagano region for over a decade at least. While enjoying the channel, I found a video that indirectly dealt with Keiko’s trademark claim.

There was a video dealing the then potential breakup of the huge group SMAP (you can see the video here: https://youtu.be/gPBgFZYu9iw). SMAP was a boy band. The now former members are in their 40s and in everything. Movies, tv shows, and at the time still active in their music group. Their talent agency was Johnny and Associates sometimes referred to as Johnny’s. The group broke up in December of 2016 and it was all over Japanese news.

The big rumor at the time was that four of the five members wanted to quit Johnny’s, but still continue in some fashion together. Fans were worried for three reasons: 1) the trademark was owned by Johnny’s. 2) Johnny’s could make their lives very difficult, as they are a very powerful talent agency. 3) There is a stigma of shame surrounding leaving a talent agency, mostly if you have been with one for a long time. This is the perception that the agency built the talent up and that the talent owes it to the company to stay.

What happened was one member stayed with the agency, one went on to something else, and three went to another agency called CULEN. It seems it’s theirs as right now CULEN is just listed as them. They also have a website called atarashiichizu. At this time they are promoting their individual works and have not released anything together, but it’s only been almost two years.

So what does this have to do with Keiko? Typically a talent agency will decide they want a music group or singer and hire them. They trademark the name and choose the songwriters the singer/group will work with. They also work to have a contract signed with a record company. I might be wrong on a few details, but that’s the general picture. The only thing different with Spacecraft was Yuki Kajiura and whether she owned any of that trademark. The fact that after Yuki left, the name Kalafina continued suggested it was owned by Spacecraft.

Would Keiko not know any of this? Highly doubtful. Not only was speculation regarding SMAP all over the news in late 2016, there were also negotiations with Yuki Kajiura and Spacecraft prior to her leaving that affected the group. Knowing how active Keiko was in her advocating for both herself and Wakana and Hikaru (we see this in the 10th anniversary film), she would have kept tabs on it. This on top of the fact that she was signed with Spacecraft with Ayaka Ito for Itokubo. She seems like she has a good idea how the Japanese entertainment industry works.

Even if she didn’t know, the company she hired to represent her would be able to find out if anyone registered that trademark. As someone who has dealt with civil court paper work here in the US regarding my mom and my uncle, I can tell you lawyers and law firms don’t make much money filing these paper work claims. Most of the fee goes to dealing with the bureaucracy. I doubt Japan is much different. In fact, Japan’s bureaucracy seems worse. They would tell her not to waste her time and theirs…unless there was some other point.

What that point was, I don’t know. What we do know is that after she formally told Spacecraft she was leaving, a few days later she filed that claim. Unlike Kaori’s long blog post when she left or Hikaru’s handwritten letter, Spacecraft posted Keiko’s mere one paragraph statement for her. Then there was the letter released for Harmony 4 where people thought it sounded like they were blaming Keiko. While I wouldn’t quite go that far, it was cold in the English translation.

Japan is interesting in that there’s this spectator sport regarding apologies. When a celebrity screws up, like in the case of a member of SMAP a few years back, whom was caught being drunk in public at night, said celebrity will publically apologize on television. People will watch and discuss this apology: how good it was or wasn’t, whether the person bowed deeply enough, whether they meant it or not, etc. Celebrities will be sent on apology tours on various shows.

With this in mind Spacecraft was at best completely tone death at worst they’re arrogant. Since new management took over they have lost 12 people. Most this year. It’s not just people associated with Yuki Kajiura but also long established voice actors.

Based on the little bit I know, what happened with Yuki Kajiura and Spacecraft is that the new management wanted to add restrictions to her. The previous administration let her do what she wanted for the most part.

With Keiko I suspect something similar. Again complete speculation on my part. What we know is the official line is that Keiko didn’t see a Kalafina without Yuki Kajiura as the songwriter. We know this isn’t quite the case as there was that interview where Yuki revealed she was taking a step back allowing them to use other songwriters, she would likely contribute a few songs, and be more of a manager and mentor.

One thing I found surprising was with the tabloid news articles, which were highly accurate, was the statement that if Keiko had stayed they would have headed to the recording studio early this year. Of course, the three of them were touring all last year, so where would they have the time to vet songwriters and find out how well the interaction is…unless Spacecraft wanted to manage them as a standard pop group where they were the sole deciders. If they were being controlling with Yuki Kajiura, why wouldn’t they do that with Keiko, Hikaru, and Wakana?

I suspect this in part with how Hikaru opened her letter, “I, Hikaru, left Spacecraft on good terms (paraphrasing)…” Why would she say that unless someone left not on good terms recently? Again that’s speculation, but we do have some albeit small bit of evidence Yuki and/or Keiko didn’t exactly leave on the greatest terms. She certainly wanted to squash any rumors before they started.

Interestingly, I also suspect that Wakana has more freedom with Spacecraft being solo since there is less money and expectations.

As far as more idle speculation on my part:

Yuki stated recently she has 18 new songs done for a project and is still at the studio recording more. I suspect Keiko to pop up in some of those songs. It might even be a Keiko centric project.

The reason why Hikaru has a Twitter and was interested in having an Instagram, is in part because she’s floating going solo. She maybe in some FictionJunction concerts here and there, but she’s more interested in going solo. Yuki stated she was considering going solo for some time. Also based on her massive support, about 6,000 followers within around 24 hours, not only fans but Yuki, FMB members, Atsuko from Angela, and a director from Animelo concert series, tells me she’s in good position. It also tells me that industry professionals have an idea what was going on with Spacecraft and didn’t like it.

I find it interesting that while there has been an announcement for Wakana’s new single, there has been nothing about an album. Based on her tour setlist she already has enough original songs for an EP. I’m curious what record company she’s on. Is this a new contract or is she piggybacking on Kalafina’s? That might be the reason why Spacecraft refused to fold the group. They are still listed on Spacecraft’s site as though they’re active. It will be interesting to see if the next Harmony magazine contains the name Kalafina on it or if it turns into Wakana’s fanclub. Simply put, I wouldn’t be surprised if Wakana’s contract ends sometime next year and she chooses not to renew.

If Wakana leaves, I do not see a full reformation of Kalafina. While this can be done under a different name, the three of them do not have the finances to form a special group like the three former members of SMAP (which even they have not yet released something together yet). Instead, I anticipate things like the three of them performing an old Kalafina song or two during a FictionJunction concert or a song released by Yuki Kajiura here and there that is essentially a Kalafina song (Wakana, Keiko, Hikaru and Yuriko and/or Remi as assist).

Be on the look out if Keiko tries to go after that trademark claim after Spacecraft drops using Kalafina. I’m not sure if she will or how long a trademark needs to be inactive in Japan to file a claim, but it will give us a good idea if she filed this last one for mysterious unknown purposes or not.

I suppose that’s enough silly idle speculation on my part. Much of this stuff we will never know and frankly don’t have a right to know since all of this is very personal.

[thearkhound]

Letters to the MSX

Letters to the MSX (MSXにおくる手紙/MSX ni okuru tegami) is an article that was published in the final issue of MSX-FAN magazine (dated August 1995), in which the publication sent out a questionnaire to various people within the video game, computing and consumer electronics industries (from companies such as Micro Cabin, Compile, Game Arts, Sony and Matsushita), asking them about their involvement with the MSX and their thoughts about the platform, which was being discontinued from the market after 12 years in the market.

Originally I only intended to translate Hideo Kojima’s answers to the questionnaire, but then I decided to do the whole article because not only does it bring a lot of insight to the MSX culture in Japan, but it also provides a picture of how the computer industry was back in the mid-90′s and where it was heading. This is why it took me a while to publish this translation (and why I have been inactive on Twitter for almost a month now), since it was not only quite a long article, but there’s also quite a bit of technical jargon and idioms that I wanted to make sure I would get right.

Anyway, I hope that you will enjoy it.

Introduction

We sent out this questionnaire to as many companies as possible who were involved with the MSX via fax or PC. We wanted to publish the thoughts of the people who were involved during that period. We do believe this will lead to our next step.

The contents of the questionnaires are as follows. Please read them fully and compare them.

The text has been printed the way it was sent to us, but editor’s notes have also been in parts that we believe might be too difficult for some readers to comprehend. The text after the red circle is written by the editorial department to introduce the developer who answered the questionnaire, followed by their answers to each question. If the answers to question 1 and 4 given by the person in the previous section, then “same as above” will written in its place.

MSX-FAN Final Questionnaire

Company’s name

Name and current department

Job(s) during the MSX era

Most notable MSX products by the company

Your most nostalgic MSX moment and why

Words you wish to impart to MSX-FAN readers

Bonus/ Secrets, inside stories or such you wish to share

Tokihiro Naito

We can’t help but feel from reading Mr. Naito’s comment that the MSX was a machine that everyone made good use of. With such powerful talents, his games have served as an inspiration to numerous players. Before long, people learn about the enjoyment of creating games just like Mr. Naito... We feel it’s quite a wonderful chain.

T&E Soft

Tokihiro Naito, Development Division

DD Club/Pattern Editor Programming and Manual Manuscript Creation, Undead Line/Game Design. Hydlide/Game Design and Direction, Hydlide 3/Main Programming, Rune Worth/Game and Direction. I feel there were more projects (I’ve worked on), but I don’t remember any of them.

3D Golf Simulation, Hydlide series, Laydock series, Daiva, Psy-O-Blade, Rune Worth, DD Club, T&E Disk Magazine, and more

Laydock/ The truth is that I want to talk about everything I’ve worked on, but this particular title left the most lasting impression. This had an unexpectedly short development time, meaning that it was released even before the new MSX hardware. However, the developing target was pretty unstable, and with the hardware and BIOS specifications changing everyday, it led to a difficult development period. The person in charge was all (^ ^;

The MSX was a very interesting job for me. The MSX was probably the first time I was introduced to the concept of a VDP at such an early stage. Since the MSX was also the first machine I’ve ever experienced the use of sprites with, it was personally very fun. Even though MSX-FAN might be gone now, I hope many people will still use the MSX as a starting machine for programming or for making CGI.

DD Club contained a tool called SPEN, which was not a product by the company. It was actually a hobby program I designed in my home for over two years. At any rate, the name stood for Special Pattern Editor for Naito. This program was given free of charge to T&E Soft as my dedication to them./During the development of Laydock, I received a new BIOS-ROM from ASCII almost everyday, but every time the BIOS was changed it would cause the game to stop running, and we had to cool out the prototype MSX2 computer with a paper fan while programming as soon as it was overheating./ The 800 kanji fonts for the MSX1 version of Hydlide III that were on a 7x8 pixel format were in fact created by me. Were they hard to read? I’m sorry if that was the case./ There are many more unrevealed inside stories, but... (Editor’s Note 1: We this much content, we can’t publish this letter without cutting off some parts. Hmm...) (Editor’s Note 2: Hmm, I wonder if the other editor has seen that one last sentence.) (^ ^;

Akira Misoda

In the MSX world there is Micro Cabin. Nothing else needs to be said. We are grateful to them for many things. We thank them for porting Princess Maker to the MSX. And in addition to providing software for our supplemental disks, we learned many things from Mr. Nakano as the lecturer for our Picture Story & Movie Classroom articles. Producer Misoda has made an effort to backup all the above. I don’t think the Princess Maker port would’ve happened without his influence.

Micro Cabin

Akira Misoda, 1st R&D Department

Producer & Programmer of Campaign Daisenryaku. Programmer of The Tower of Cabin. Producer of Princess Maker.

Fray, Xak, Xak II, Maison Ikkoku, Urusei Yatsura, Daisenryaku, Super Daisenryaku, Princess Maker, Illusion City, The Tower of Gazzel.

This doesn’t have anything to do with the MSX version specifically, but Xak was the first game I programmed desperately after I’ve joined the company. I gave the rough source code to Mr. Nakatsu when he joined the company to produce the MSX version, but I’m still impressed that such a difficult code to understand could be ported so well.

The MSX is a hardware that has raised many people. There are quite a few people at Micro Cabin who used to be MSX users before joining the company. With the proper knowhow, you could make games on the MSX without having to purchase any expensive add-on (compared to other platforms). In that sense, it’s such a great loss that another platform that has produced game-making geniuses (!?) is disappearing from the industry. I might be exaggerating a bit, but... I really feel that way.

I’ve worked on the MSX prior to joining Micro Cabin. I did around four outsourced jobs from three different companies, and two of them were for Micro Cabin.

Yasuhiko Nakatsu

Programmers are said to stay up all night, tend to run away and are all unusual men, but there is no one who makes good products that keeps his deadlines, sleeps on time, and provides gentle guidance to everyone. We at the editorial department asked for such a person to serve as our lecturer for our picture story show articles. We are grateful to Mr. Nakatsu for everything he did to us and we apologize for asking too much of him. We are truly sorry for that.

Same as above

Yasuhiko Nakatsu, 1st R&D Department

Planning, programming, writing

Same as above.

I have many fond memories of software that came out on the MSX. Among there was this software called Su**s Gri... Oops! I’ve almost mentioned something I shouldn’t. My bad. My bad. Personally, Illusion City was my most memorable game when it comes to the most hardships I have to endure.

Thank you for publishing my articles after such a long period. For those who are not good at programming at BASIC, please look up any back issues and try your best at creating a picture story. The MSX was a machine with many ways to enjoy oneself. I look forward to future activities with the platform.

I was the one responsible for raising the memory of the A1-GT to 512Kb. Thanks to that, the machine was able to play MIDI without the burden of access time. I’m truly grateful at everyone in Matsushita.

Hitoshi Suenaga

Rather than introduce the person, I thought it would be more fitting to introduce his projects. He’s a talented genius responsible for the character designs in Micro Cabin.

Same as above

Hitoshi Suenaga, 2nd R&D Department

Xak 1, Fray, Daisenryaku, Illusion City

Same as above

Xak 1, since it was the first MSX project I ever worked on after joining the company.

I am grateful to everyone who supported our work, as well as everyone answered the questionnaire. While it’s sad that the world will go on without the MSX, I will still use it for my hobbies and personal work. In fact the character units in the 3DO version of Konpeki no Kantai were drawn on my MSX computer and then converted to the console.

If you want to be honest, if ASCII had asked for my input, I would’ve balanced out the hardware specifications of the MSX turbo R a bit more and I think the platform would’ve been around a bit longer. When I learned about the MSX turbo R’s hardware specifications after unveiling conference, I began crying on my bed... I’m serious! The MSX2 was a serviceable upgrade from the MSX1, but after that...

Katsuya Nagai

Mr. Nagai made one MSX software after the other while in Micro Cabin thanks to his love for the MSX and the effort he made to program every day and night.

Same as above.

Katsuya Nagai, 1st R&D Department

Programmed the opening and ending of Xak I. Also made the fighting minigame in The Tower of Cabin.

Same as above.

I was involved with Xak I as soon as I’ve joined the company.

Even though we are no longer making MSX games, we hope you’ll still support Micro Cabin in the future.

The Fray vs. Pixie minigame from The Tower of Cabin was ported from the PC-9801 version and I got to draw the animation patterns of a special move that was planned for the game. However, not all the animation frames could fit into the game’s memory, so I ended up using the regular patterns instead.

Naoko Arakawa

When talking about the TAKERU software vending machines, there is Ms. Arakawa. She was always full of energy when we met her during events. She even worked together with our editorial staff on the Sorcerian port, which is a project that brings us deep memories. She also worked on Sorcerian Relay, which is included in this final issue. Since it’s just a relay race game featuring characters from Sorcerian created by the editorial staff, it might not be anything special, but... We would be grateful is she re-releases more classic MSX software via TAKERU.

Xing

Naoko Arakawa, TAKERU Executive Office (sales division G)

Sales promotion of MSX software for TAKERU

Sorcerian, BURAI Vol. 2, ect.

Thanks to the news announcement from MSX-FAN, our game reprinting project attracted attention from many users, which evolved into the TAKERU Meisaku Bunko (Masterpiece Library) series. We;re now re-releasing PC-9801 and X68000 games on TAKERU as well, becoming an important pillar of our service more than ever. I think it was all thanks to the planning of MSX-FAN and our MSX users.

I truly salute MSX users for their passion, enthusiasm and creative urge. While we gathered many games for our reprint series, there were still quite a few things that left a bit to be desired (like why we didn’t include games from a certain company or why we didn’t include a particular title). There were many games that did not come out on TAKERU due to various circumstances, so we apologize for that. From now on we’ll do our best to have software reach MSX users via TAKERU, even if it’s just a few game. Please support us.

I have strong memories of sneaking out to see the A-Bomb Dome while I was en route to the MSX Festival in Hiroshima. On another occasion, I was photographed by a professional for the first time when I was interviewed by Mr. Tokita and Mr. Sasaya. The photo looked like a portrait than any normal photo. It’s one of my most treasured possessions.

Akkii

Falcon is a company that undertook a substantial role in the porting of Sorcerian that MSX-FAN and TAKERU (Brother) helped produce. Their president, Ms. Midori Ito, while working for Yamaha to promote the MSX, unexpectedly ended up becoming a programmer herself and before long she ended up marrying Mr. Kazuhiko Ito, who was employed at Micro Cabin at the time. The two ended up forming their own software development company. Answering in this section is Mr. Moribe, who was the lead graphic designer.

Tierheit (aka Falcon)

Akkii, Planning & Development Department - Development Section 2

Pixel art, debugging, intermediary with TAKERU’s executive officer, and many other jobs

Sorcerian, Sengoku Sorcerian, Pyramid Sorcerian

All of it, of course. It was the first company I’ve joined and the first job I was employed at.

The ending of Sorcerian was very anti-climatic. I’m sorry about that. Of course, the MSX is a hardware that exists because of its users. Even if this magazine will no longer be in print, the MSX scene will remain active as long as there are users, especially when it comes graphic designing (personally). Good luck!

Well there’s something I want to say, but... Oh no!

Yoshihide

I often used to go to the MSX Fair. I used to work at Osaka, bu moved back to Tokyo along with my wife last year. I want to know if the secret title was Dragon Spirit or Valkyrie.

Namco

Yoshihide, Consumer Sales Department - Promotion Division

MSX software sales and PR activities (including planning). Since there weren’t that many people, I did a bit of everything.

Return of Ishtar, Xevious: Farland Saga, Pac-Mania, ect. We also did the Disk NG series too.

For Xevious, I remember doing a bit of everything ranging from joining in the planning, production, advertising, distribution, sales and public relations.

I wish good luck to everyone involved with the MSX at Namco (including our users).

There were many games that we announced, but didn’t get released. On one hand I think it’s regrettable, but on the other hand it’s a bit horrifying.

Masamitsu Niitani

It’s because of Disk Station magazine that the MSX became an interesting world. It’s because of them that we had the Puyo Puyo series and Carbunkle. With its low-price, the fun-packed Disk Station was a brilliant plan that managed to rejuvenate an industry that has hit a rut. It was always a pleasure to deal with President Niitani himself when calling the company, even if it was the middle of the night.

Compile

Masamitsu Niitani, President

Planner, Producer, Graphic Designer, Programmer

Guardic, Madō Monogatari, Nyanpi, Golvellius, Rune Master, Adventure of Randar, Disk Station

Disk Station

Let’s walk with the times

I want to talk to Mr. Nishii of ASCII about his thoughts on the MSX.

Yoichi Miyaji

The founders of Game Arts got their start as part-timers at ASCII back in the old days. Because of their talent, they quickly formed their own company, where they gave birth to Thexder. At any rate, we had a chance to seriously think about developing for the MSX with Mr. Miyaji.

Game Arts

Yoichi Miyaji, President

Producer

Thexder, Fire Hawk, the Gyuwamburaa Jikō Chūshinha series, the Sum series

The debugging of the MSX-BASIC rom was carried out back when the founders of Game Arts were employed at ASCII. I think the BASIC was made extremely well.

I treasured the MSX like it was my own child. I did my best with the belief that the MSX was a better hardware than the Famicom (NES). It’s been more than 10 years (ed’s note: 12 years precisely), the age of the Famicom is over now and it’s time to let the MSX go too. It’s truly been a long time.

Satoshi Uesaka

Mr. Uesaka was the one who originally created the card concentration game called Card Desu as soon as MSX-FAN started including supplemental disks on each issue. It had an edit function in hopes that it would lead to a series of edited works, but not many edited versions were made and the whole thing amounted to nothing.

Same as above.

Satoshi Uesaka, Section Chief of Development

Producer, Director, Programmer, Pixel Artist, Scripter... I did many things.

Same as above.

The Sum series ended with 14 games that were released in a span of a single year.

Never forget your dreams, even when they end. (plagiarized)

Kamiji

BIT2′s president Mr. Kuribayashi was observing various creative tools for the PC-9801 one day when said that he would make his own versions to surpass them on the MSX. So he ended up making the CGI tool Graphsaurus, the FM music tool Synthesaurus and the MIDI tool Midisaurus. Without these tools there would’ve been no CGI contest on MSX-FAN and no MIDI Sandogaza column. In Mr. Kuribayashi’s place, this questionnaire was answered by saleswoman Ms. Kamiji.

BIT²

Kamiji, Sales

Accounting

Graphsaurus, Synthesaurus, Famicle Parodic

When they started putting all their efforts into the Turbo R and GT was when the MSX started sinking.

We still wanted to make MSX software, but since not many people were buying them anymore, we had to discontinue them.

Toshikazu Awano

While persistently providing software for the MSX, he also provided his invaluable insights on the MSX during the MSX Symposium (see our June 1991 issue). It seems he got into this world from the records industry, but has since be transferred into KOEI’s U.S. subsidiary and is now busy selling English versions of the Nobugana’s Ambition series for consoles.

Koei

Toshikazu Awano, Koei Corporation (of America)

Head of Sales

Nobunaga’s Ambition, Romance of the Three Kingdoms

Nobunaga’s Ambition II came out when I’ve joined the company and since it sold pretty well, it left me with a strong impression.

Our company used to sell MSX soft until very late, but when we discontinued them, we suddenly receiving porting requests from MSX users. Many of them were specifically middle and high schoolers with a strong sense of appreciation.

Tatsuo Matsuda

As someone who greatly loves the MSX beyond all else, he aspired to turn it into a machine that gives everyone the opportunity to bloom their talents. That is, even if you’re not rich or you live in a rural area, you should be able to use the MSX to awaken your hidden talent by creating CGI and music or get the opportunity to express yourself.

ASCII

Tatsuo Matsuda, Multimedia Department Promotion Manager

Promotion for MSX Sales

MSX

We have shipped over 4 million home computers to young people around the world, including Japan.

I want you to become smart Japanese people with unique personalities who could work around the world.

There are still many people using the MSX around the world. The MSX should be classified as a computer, not a game console. I’m very pleased that many people have learned about computers from this platform and have found employment through it.

Hitoshi Suzuki

Everyone who was involved with MSX has called him a genius. Without his genius, perhaps MSX wouldn’t had gotten such a good BASIC program. Nevertheless, he’s a truly wonderful person with a sense of humor who made Basic-kun as a side-project

Same as above.

Hitoshi Suzuki, Director of Digital System Division and Silicon Software Development

Listener to Mr. Matsuda’s complaints and causing uproars at parties.

I haven’t really done that much (Ed’s Note: He did a lot. Many of the programming for tools and systems used by the MSX were done by him.)

Yukiko Okada’s suicide haunted me. (Ed’s Note: At the time of her death, she was appearing in the advertising of a certain company.)

Our youth is a brief moment that only shines once. The memories that have gone through all of us at a rapid-pace will shine within me forever. And on my deathbed, I will utter “Em...Ess...Ex” as my last words.

There’s a huge mouse in Osaka. (Ed’s Note:It seems that the three main proponents of the MSX platform (Mr. Yamashita, Mr. Matsuda, Mr. Suzuki) once went to a business trip in Osaka. Nobody truly knows what happened there, but it seems that Mr. Matsuda was nicknamed Mr. Mouse after a certain incident. Don’t tell anyone, you meanie!)

Shingo Tamura

Mr. Tamura joined Sony at the midst of the audioboom. He was responsible for the famed live recording machine Densuke. Afterward, he became involved with the MSX and was in charge of the PalmTop. Even though Mr. Tamura is the section chief with a scary reputation, he’s actually a romantic who likes the stars, nature and soba noodles. We thought about what Sony means as a company with stuff such as sending mail through the internet in this day. Is it linked to their merchandising? We also wanted to emphasize the MSX’s side as a cool PC.

Sony

Shingo Murata, Planning and Development of Merchandising

Sales Chief of Planning and Development of Hardware, Software and Peripherals

The HB-55 was the first HiTBiT promoted by Saeko Matsuda. The HB-F1 was a budget-priced MSX2 computer that retailed at 32,800 yen. The HB-F1XD is an MSX2 with a floppy disk drive that retailed at 54,800 yen. In terms of games, there was The Wiz, which was perhaps a famed Sony original.

There was a software called Igo Club that was an online go game, and a Kanji Video Titler. There was also a BASIC-learning kit aimed at an industrial-level (after applying for the correspondence education, you would be sent an MSX with a handbook).

Every middle schooler who got their start on the MSX dreamed differently from Famicom owners. They could learn how to program or how to make a software run to their own accord. They continued in their creative endeavors now, even now as adults. If they can have home terminals like that in the 21st century, I think we can once again stir up some creativity. As long as people have dreams, we’ll embark on new challenges.

We tried to make and sell all kinds of products. The hardware is a business that really ought to make use of the software. With that in mind, we couldn’t make the DC machine (Ed’s note:a portable device) because the resolution was a bit overly optimistic and there were too many constraints. I would like to thank my subordinates, editor-in-chief Ms. Kitane and her staff, and my good friends at Sakurakai (Ed’s note: a liaison between multiple MSX hardware manufacturers that gathered once in every month, where they would improve on the good points, reflect on the bad ones and collaborate with each other. It was last held in May ‘95), even if they would normally be suspected of bid-rigging. And of course, everyone at ASCII. It was thanks to the MSX that I had a bond we all of the above people. And what would become of Mr. Kurami, our MSX historian at Sony who served as our walking encyclopedia? Thanks!

Naoya Kurami

Mr. Kurami is a delicate perfect fit for Sony’s corporate image. Everytime he received a call from our editorial department, he always winced momentarily whenever it was some kind of difficult call... Despite that, he seems to have what appears to be a poster of Saeko-chan...

Same as above.

Naoya Kurami, Vice Director of Planning and Development of Merchandising

Planning and Promotion of hardware, software and peripherals

Same as above

I don’t know if it can be said that its directly MSX-related, but do you know the stock-trading computer HB-T600 or the online go software Igo Club? Either way, studying stocks and studying go was a painful experience. And considering all that, the results were not quite good.

Well, for better or worse I spent the last ten years of my life working on the MSX. With this information now out on an MSX-related magazine, I feel a bit embarrassed. By the way, I own a train poster of Ms. Seiko Matsuda (advertising for our HiTBiT computers) as a souvenir from the past. I thought about selling it for a high price... I would like to thank all of editors at MSX-FAN and all of its readers. It’s been such a long time.

Hideaki Yagami

We, at the editorial staff, get the impression that the people at Matsushita are very serious and diligent. Both, their hardware and software are designed with the need to bring enjoyment to their users without betraying their expectations. Only Matsushita machines are strong against instantaneous blackouts and their PACs (Pana Amusement Cartridges) might had been a manifestation of that mentality. Under such circumstances, Mr. Yagami  (who is also skilled at skiing) was pretty good at gaining the trust of the software house (not just for the debugging meetings) and still is to this day.

Matsushita

Hideaki Yagami, Software Development Department of the Interactive Media Division

Development & Planning of Software at the Pana Amusement Production

The FS-5500F2 is famous for being the first MSX computer with 2 disk drives. The FS-A1 was a budget-pridced MSX2 that retailed 29,800 yen. The PACs were MSX cartridges containing S-RAM backup. Other products include the CF-XXX series, the FM-PAC, a Bowling System and an educational system aimed for Russia (that’s a secret)

The AshGuine series were a series of games starring the first character made by our company. We made the games all-night at the development site with the developers from the various companies involved to decide on the content of each game, their packaging and the posters.

When the MSX was brought to this world, a personal computer meant for the users something that could run the program they made, not just the packaged software they bought from a store. In today’s world, computers take many shape in order to support the needs of the world, but in spite of that it’s no longer easy to program by yourself, even if you own a PC. Even though PCs are becoming much closer to humans now, I can’t helped but feel a sense of nostalgia when the distance between them was more primitive, that is to say when a PC was just a programming tool. Back then the PC was the embodiment of a user’s dreams full of possibilities. It could be said that people who lived through the era when PCs were born are living witnesses of a valuable era that brought fruit to a trend of rapid creation and evolution. Keep those memories of freshness in mind and continue dreaming, seeking the possibilities of new challenges.

I wonder if there was any other unified effort between multiple home electronics manufacturers to promote a unified standard (MSX). MSX-FAN may have ended with this issue, but for the hardware manufacturers I think it was an era of everyone pursuing the dream of a single unified standard of PC. To all the companies that provided software, I’m truly grateful. I’m also grateful to Ms. Kitane and the rest of the editors of Tokuma for being there until the end. And finally, I would like to thank of all the MSX users who supported the platform.

Kazuaki Hiraga

Mr. Hiraga was suddenly put in charge of the MSX in a matter of months and became a familiar figure in ten years, leaving quite an impression. He has the personality you would expect. He plays Gekitotsu Pennant Race pretty well too. He also planned to lend out MSX computers to a culture festival. Thanks to that, he experienced a “ghost incident” in the Kanazawa Inn. At any rate, he held a mini-4WD competition to bring excitement to the event and played games with other users. In a sense, he was a familiar and energetic face to the MSX.

Same as above.

Kazuaki Hiraga, Software Development Department of the Interactive Media Division

As a member of the PAP, I’ve worked as a contact for various software providers and at the same time I was involved in the development of original software and peripherals (such as the PACs). I also planned  and managed nationwide events. I was Pana Amusement Club member no. 0001! By the way, the Amusement Club began business around the time Vampire Killer came out

Same as above.

At the beginning many hardware manufacturers created MSX machines, but in the end it became a fateful confrontation between Matsushita and Sony. Right now our Panasonic-branded products are selling quite well, especially our TVs and videos, but our no. 1 product in Japan is the “A1″. This symbolizes the magnitude of expectations that Matsushita applies to its products.

Looking at the current software industry, there are quite a few people who joined the industry from the MSX, so I feel it’s a big deal. in that sense, I appreciate all those people who are still passionate about the MSX and I’m eagerly awaiting even more people to become experts in the field of software development.

Thanks to the MSX, I have a nice family (ed’s note: Mr. Hiraga met his wife when she was the host of an MSX event. They now have a child together). It was also fun to go through various events nationwide and talk to representatives of software houses and magazines. Everyone gave it their best during the 4WD races in particular. (ed’s note:Mr. Naito of T&E Soft is known for using a turbo mode technique that connected batteries in a serial format.) One of the packaging illustrators for the AshGuine series was the now-famous Teppei Sasakura (who at the time was an unknown). Looking at the prices of Mr. Sasakura’s works recently, I tried to look for the original painting, but it’s nowhere to be found. Ah!

Masao Ito

Mr. Ito is an obliging person who planned out products he thought of while working on Matsushita’s hardware designs. If things are any indication, we believe he made the FM-PAC by embracing a headfirst approach. Within the people at Matsushita who supported the MSX until the end, Mr. Ito has been patiently answering various questions from our editorial staff up until this final issue.

Same as above.

Masao Ito, Planning and Selling of Foreign Software for the Interactive Media Division (I’m making 3DO stuff now).

First I worked on hardware designs. But then I acted as a jack-of-all-trades, examining the MSX standards at the same time. At the the end, I was responsible for product planning, as well as in charge of designing domestic and overseas systems.

Same as above

In Russia, I almost got arrested by the Moscow police one time after spending several consecutive nights bowling there.

The MSX was a cost-effective platform. It was useful in various ways if you knew how to use it well. While the MSX’s days are numbered, its ideal still remains true. The concept will surely be revived in the future (don’t hesitate to ask in which form).

I did quite a lot of things, but for some reason I am still an unknown in this industry. The PAC and FM-PAC cartridges were possible thanks to me! By the way, I’m still waiting to receive my own PAC and FM-PAC from the company.

Yuya Iwakiri

Mr. Iwakiri is a gentleman who organized many MSX events that gave us the chance to gather everyone. He supported up us until the end.

Same as above.

Yuya Iwakiri, Public Relations Department Editorial Department

As a professional, I’m a latecomer to the MSX when I was employed in 1989. In my private life, the first MSX computer I touched was a so-called King Kong word processor, which was a unique experience. Because I came from an advertising background, I focused on the planning and organizing of MSX fairs, where I involved in the creations of catalogs and advertisement (thinking about it though, the job was rather lonely since MSX-FAN was practically the only MSX-focused media remaining by that point), as well as the promotion and advertising of word processors (such as the UI series and the SLALA model).

Same as above.

For me, it’s perhaps the FS-A1GT, which ended up becoming the last MSX machine ever produced. The slight hopes of everyone who had an affection for the MSX, such as Ms. Kitagane, whom I have a strong rapport with, and the various celebrities (in every sense of the word) from all sorts of software house starting with Mr. Tanaka (director general of Micro Cabin), were gathered thanks  at the nationwide fairs thanks to this machine. Until the bitter end, there was hope for another model, hope for the uncertain future of the MSX... Even though I knew how it was going to end, I still couldn’t help but feel a sense of bitterness when it was over. It was like falling in love with someone you were forbidden to, like a feudal lord and a peasant or Romeo & Juliet...I thought about why I was given a job during such a moment.

There’s always one way or another to do things because of the mischief of the age. I don’t want to ponder any “what ifs”, “perhaps” and “if only”, but just like life, I still wonder if the MSX could ever return to the starting line... I’m sure everyone involved with the MSX is thinking this as well. In this age in which Microsoft is now threatening IBM’s grasp of the PC market, it would wonderful to imagine the MSX engine from Japan taking over the world.

My kids (ages 6 and 4) play all sorts of gaming platforms. The Game Boy, the Super Famicom and the 3DO. But they really like MSX games over everything else. Perhaps they inherited my preference and nostalgia for MSX games... DNA is quite a scary thing. Anyway, I’m truly grateful to all the MSX fans around the world! Until we’ll meet again.

Masayuki Takeuchi

“Study hard and play hard” is a saying that suits this person. That’s because studying and playing are truly above-average.

Same as above.

Masayuki Takeuchi, Interactive Media Division Software Development Department Promotion and Planning Section

Planning for advertising and sales promotion.

Same as above

Before PCs became widespread, we put out the first MSX word processor with a built-in printer, which was a pretty successful product. Another product we put out was the A1, a budget-priced MSX2 computer sold at 29,800 yen. In order to promote the A1 at the time, we did several publicity campaigns such as a truck that traveled all over the country and the advertising character AshGuine. They were pretty memorable ad campaigns.

I'm sorry that it’s over. However, I’m truly grateful that people still appreciate the MSX to this day.

There was a golf game from Hudson that was pretty popular where you could switch between a professional and amateur mode. There was also a shooting game called Zanac, in which I made a bet with another employee named S-kun, who offered me a yen for each point I made. He owes me 2.4 million.

Taro Sugimoto

Even though Panasonic has officially ceased advertising their MSX computers in our magazine, they continue to publish advertisement for their U1 word processors. Perhaps they did out of obligation, but I feel they cherish their users more than that. Some members of their MSX development team has since moved on to the 3DO, but they still demonstrate their power even in their word processors. Because my nickname among my seniors was also “Taro”, I would often ignore people calling me out during MSX events if they didn’t attach my surname.

Same as above.

Taro Sugimoto, I.T. Division Commercial Affairs

I was doing promotion and advertisement under Takeuchi, Iwakiri and Hiraga, all whom I’ve received regards individually. In particular I was in charge of the MSX game events that were held once in every season. Since I was employed by the sales and promotion department, I never got around to making my own product, but I did write a utility book for an A1 peripheral. As a freshman employee at the time, it was my first experience with a PC, so it was extremely memorable.

Same as above.

The above-mentioned event. While I still organize events nowadays, the MSX Festival was the basis for everything. I used to travel all around the country, ate various delicacies and became acquainted with various representatives of software publishers, including Ms. Kitane, all whom have become valuable assets to me. I still treasured the t-shirt and sweatshirt that were produced for those events.

I’m currently in charge of advertising and managing promotion for our word processors and MSX-FAN could help us out by published our ads in each issue... I think. I’m sorry.

While organizing an event in Osaka, there was lack of manpower, so I helped out while wearing a sweatshirt. I was already in my second year within the company and I ran into a college acquaintance at the venue and he asked me “you’re still working as a part-timer.” Anyway, please support our word processors.

Hideo Kojima

When one hears the name Konami, a mountain of memories pop up. Konami has been releasing software vigorously since the beginning of the MSX’s lifespan and they always had an amazing quality to them. We have wonderful memories of games such as the fun Antarctic Adventure and Space Manbow, which turned out to be a good game despite constant delays thanks to the commitment of the developers. It seems that Konami carries the philosophy during development that one has to observe games that are hits or duds, and understand why they sell or not. As a result, Konami has created the most splendid games in the world. In such circumstances, Mr. Kojima created a new kind of game with a scenario for the PC market that wouldn’t had been possible in an arcade environment.

Konami

Hideo Kojima, Development Section 5

Planning, writing, direction, and a few character designs

For Kojima: Metal Gear, Snatcher, Solid Snake. For Konami in general: the Nemesis series, the Knightmare trilogy, Yie-Ar Kung-Fu, Space Manbow, Penguin Adventure, The Goonies, and many more.

My most memorable project was the original Metal Gear. Back then I was a rookie who didn’t know to distinguish between his right and his left, so I didn’t know how to make a game at the time. I didn’t even know how to get assistance from people. I had no credibility as a planner (since my previous game proposal got rejected). I think it was pretty reckless of me to create a new type of game. I had nothing but enthusiasm to drive me.

With the MSX, there was a sense of “learning together” and “living together.” In particular, I was full of feelings that I shared with players during my youth. My game development career was never in the limelight, so I don’t know how much the sincere opinions of all my players have encouraged and supported me. Even now I’m still encouraged by the correspondences of players from those days. I think there’s some sort of coexistence that goes beyond the framework between a receiver and a sender.

Each year new talent enter the game industry. Among them are many people that choose this path by being inspired by the MSX. At the very the least they inherited a burning passion for the MSX. The users (receivers) and developers (senders) will always remember the “sensation” of that time. If they have “pride”, then I’m sure the game industry will move towards a good direction.

[queenie435]

From the Alchemy Library

The Stone of the Philosophers

by Edward Kelly

The Stone of the Philosopher

Though I have already twice suffered chains and imprisonment in Bohemia, an indignity which has been offered to me in no other part of the world, yet my mind, remaining unbound, has all this time exercised itself in the study of that philosophy which is despised only by the wicked and foolish, but is praised and admired by the wise. Nay, the saying that none but fools and lawyers hate and despise Alchemy has passed into a proverb. Furthermore, as during the preceding three years I have used great labour, expense, and care in order to discover for your Majesty that which might afford you much profit and pleasure, so during my imprisonment - a calamity which has befallen me through the action of your Majesty - I am utterly incapable of remaining idle. Hence I have written a treatise, by means of which your imperial mind may be guided into all the truth of the more ancient philosophy, whence, as from a lofty eminence, it may contemplate and distinguish the fertile tracts from the barren and stony wilderness. But if my teaching displease you, know that you are still altogether wandering astray from the true scope and aim of this matter, and are utterly wasting your money, time, labour, and hope. A familiar acquaintance with the different branches of knowledge has taught me this one thing, that nothing is more ancient, excellent, or more desirable than truth, and whoever neglects it must pass his whole life in the shade. Nevertheless, it always was, and always will be, the way of mankind to release Barabbas and to crucify Christ. This I have - for my good, no doubt - experienced in my own case. I venture to hope, however, that my life and character will so become known to posterity that I may be counted among those who have suffered much for the sake of truth. The full certainty of the present treatise time is powerless to abrogate. If your Majesty will deign to peruse it at your leisure, you will easily perceive that my mind is profoundly versed in this study.

(1) All genuine and judicious philosophers have traced back things to their first principles, that is to say, those comprehended in the threefold division of Nature. The generation of animals they have attributed to a mingling of the male and female in sexual union; that of vegetables to their own proper seed; while as the principle of minerals they have assigned earth and viscous water.

(2) All specific and individual things which fall under a certain class, obey the general laws and are referable to the first principles of the class to which they belong.

(3) Thus, every animal is the product of sexual union; every plant, of its proper seed; every mineral, of the mixture of its generic earth and water.

(4) Hence, an unchangeable law of Nature regulates the generation of everything within the limits of its own particular genus.

(5) It follows that, with reference to their origin, animals are generically distinct from vegetables and minerals; the same difference exists respectively between vegetables and minerals and the two other natural kingdoms.

(6) The common and universal matter of these three principles is called Chaos.

(7) Chaos contains within itself the four elements of all that is, viz., fire, air, water, and earth, by the mixture and motion of which the forms of all earthly things are impressed upon their subjects.

(8) These elements have four qualities: heat, coldness, humidity, dryness. The first inheres in fire, the second in water, the third in air, the fourth in earth.

(9) By means of these qualities, the elements act upon each other, and motion takes place.

(10) Elements either act upon each other, or are acted on, and are called either active or passive.

(11) Active elements are those which, in a compound, impress upon the passive a certain specific character, according to the strength and extent of their motion. These are water and fire.

(12) The passive elements - earth and air - are those which by their inactive qualities readily receive the impressions of the aforesaid active elements.

(13) The four elements are distinguished, not only by their activity and passivity, but also by the priority and posteriority of their motions.

(14) Priority and posteriority are here predicated either with references to the position of the whole sphere, or the importance of the result or aim of the motion.

(15) In space, heavy objects tend downwards, and light objects upwards; those which are neither light nor heavy hold an intermediate position.

(16) In this way, even among the passive elements, earth holds a higher place than air, because it delights more in rest; for the less motion, the more passivity.

(17) The excellence of result has reference to perfection and imperfection, the mature being more perfect than the immature. Now, maturity is altogether due to the heat of fire. Hence fire holds the highest place among active elements.

(18) Among the passive elements, the first place belongs to that which is most passive, i.e., which is most quickly and easily influenced. In a compound, earth is first passively affected, then air.

(19) Similarly, in every compound, the perfecting element acts last; for perfection is a transition from immaturity to maturity.

(20) Maturity being caused by heat, cold is the cause of immaturity.

(21) It is clear, then, that the elements, or remote first principles of animals, vegetables, and minerals, in Chaos, are susceptible of active movements in fire and water, and of passive movements in earth and air. Water acts on earth, and transmutes it into its own nature; fire heats air, and also changes it into its own likeness.

(22) The active elements may be called male, while the passive elements represent the female principle.

(23) Any compound belonging to any of these three kingdoms - animal, vegetable, mineral - is female in so far as it is earth and air, and male in so far as it is fire and water.

(24) Only that which has consistency is sensuously perceptible. Elementary fire and air, being naturally subtle, cannot be seen.

(25) Only two elements, water and earth, are visible, and earth is called the hiding-place of fire, water the abode of air.

(26) In these two elements we have the broad law of limitation which divides the male from the female.

(27) The first matter of vegetables is the water and earth hidden in its seed, these being more water than earth.

(28) The first matter of animals is the mixture of the male and female sperm, which embodies more moisture than dryness.

(29) The first matter of minerals is a kind of viscous water, mingled with pure and impure earth.

(30) Impure earth is combustible sulphur, which hinders all fusion, and superficially matures the water joined to it, as we see in the minor minerals, marcasite, magnesia, antimony, etc.

(31) Pure earth is that which so unites the smallest parts of its aforesaid water that they cannot be separated by the fiercest fire, so that either both remain fixed or are volatilized.

(32) Of this viscous water and fusible earth, or sulphur, is composed that which is called quicksilver, the first matter of the metals.

(33) Metals are nothing but Mercury digested by different degrees of heat.

(34) Different modifications of heat cause, in the metallic compound, either maturity or immaturity.

(35) The mature is that which has exactly attained all the activities and properties of fire. Such is gold.

(36) The immature is that which is dominated by the element of water, and is never acted on by fire. Such are lead, tin, copper, iron, and silver.

(37) Only one metal, viz., gold, is absolutely perfect and mature. Hence it is called the perfect male body.

(38) The rest are immature and, therefore, imperfect.

(39) The limit of immaturity is the beginning of maturity; for the end of the first is the beginning of the last.

(40) Silver is less bounded bu aqueous immaturity than the rest of the metals, though it may indeed be regarded as to a certain extent impure, still its water is already covered with the congealing vesture of its earth, and it thus tends to perfection.

(41) This condition is the reason why silver is everywhere called by the Sages the perfect female body.

(42) All other metals differ only in the degree of their imperfection, according as they are more or less bounded by the said immaturity; nevertheless, all have a certain tendency towards perfection, though they lack the aforesaid congealing vesture of their earth.

(43) This congealing force is the effect of earthy coldness, balancing its own proper humidity, and causing fixation in the fluid matter.

(44) The lesser metals are fusible in a fierce fire, and therefore lack this perfect congealing force. If they become solid when cool, this is due to the arrangement of their aforesaid earthy particles.

(45) According to the different ways in which this viscous water and pure earth are joined together, so as to produce quicksilver by coagulation, with the mediation of natural heat, we have different metals, some of which are called perfect, like gold and silver, while the rest are regarded as imperfect.