#even though it was 30 years ago and he was a ding dong

[sixeyesgojo]

New Year's surprise

Summary: You spend New Year's Eve with your favorite people. Something catches you by surprise...?

Pairing/Characters: Team Gojo + You

Word count: 2,3k

Content warning: -

A/N: crossposted on AO3 // published on New Year’s Eve + written for Megumi’s birthday // I tried to make it funny back then but now that I am reading it again... crrrrriiiiiiiiiiinge. I also used honorifics here to show the banter and relationship between the characters.

ou have been looking forward to this stress-relieving day for a month now. It was a well-deserved break for all this work you've been doing lately.

Last week particularly wore you out from using your cursed technique, the ability to manifest and manipulate light, repeatedly as the curses kept getting nastier and more annoying. Being one of the handful of Jujutsu Sorcerers was a pain sometimes. Just like Nanami, you hated working overtime but it was bound to happen as the branch you were working in was not exactly what the youth of today wanted to do - let alone even know of - understaffed as ever.

Not that you minded being on missions but sometimes you feared that your co-teacher, the most praised and famed Gojo Satoru, wouldn't properly teach the kids in your absence. You weren't even a teacher to begin with but some time after graduation, your teacher Yaga Masamichi - now principal of Jujutsu High in Tokyo - had asked you the favor of supporting that idiot Satoru... just in case. It's not like you could decline anyway, nobody else was up for the job, so you accepted. As time passed, you truly grew to love this job, especially this year's first-years had you enamored with them.

So it happened that your dear friend and ex-classmate suggested a Christmas party, which also served as Megumi's surprise birthday party, at your house. Coincidentally, this friend happened to have white hair and regularly wore a blindfold to work. Coincidentally, he was deemed the strongest. Coincidentally, his name was Gojo Satoru. “Do I not get a say in this, Satoru?” you had asked, your back facing him. His blunt answer was a simple “nope.”, which earned him a whack to his right shoulder. “I've already told the first-years about the time, date and location,” the man grinned sheepishly. And he knew you wouldn't be able to decline if it was about your beloved three students. You had no choice.

“Well, Satoru, since it's come to this,” you leaned in close to whisper in his ear, “why don't we use this opportunity to throw a surprise birthday party for you-know-who?”

The white-haired sorcerer grinned, “Sounds like you've been planning this all along, if you ask me.”

You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly. “Nobara; but give me one or two days - I'm still quite busy,” you said. He gave you a thumbs up before replying, “Then I'll handle Yuuji. Give me a second.”

He clapped once. Then, the man was gone from your sight. Like a poof.

Being able to communicate without words was one of your favorite things about Satoru's and your friendship.

And so, a little over a month passed ever since you and Satoru made that agreement. It was easy for Satoru to convince Yuuji but you had known from the beginning that it took a little more coaxing for Nobara. In the end, you also successfully managed to lure her in. Even though you had to postpone it, it ended up being a New Year’s Eve party instead.

Damn these higher-ups, giving you a 4-day mission a day before Christmas Eve. You have looked forward to this party too, it saddened you greatly to have it postponed. Fortunately, your students and Satoru decided to wish you a merry Christmas via video call. It was truly a delight on such dark days. Besides juggling your two jobs, you've also been preparing for the party diligently. After all, you didn't want it to be a flop.

It wasn't exactly easy to convince the higher-ups to let you and Satoru take a day off from missions and frankly, you didn't convince them at all; you both just ditched them, probably pushing them onto Nanami or whoever was on hand (sorry?). As for lessons, Satoru managed to persuade principal Yaga that you and him were planning an “important extracurricular class”. You weren't sure if Yaga had actually bought the excuse or just let it slide. It did not matter anyway, who would dare to stand in the mighty Gojo Satoru's way? Moreover, you rivaled this man in both stubbornness and authority. Nobody stood a chance when the two of you planned to see a plan through.

You've been cooking (and baking) since morning while Satoru was dancing around your house to decorate it. After all, he was no help in the kitchen and his long limbs made it easy to reach high places, so he was forced to placed in charge of decorating by you.

“Satoru, when are the kids coming again? What time?” you called out from the kitchen. A head popped up by the door, “8PM, so two hours from now,” it chirped. “Megumi will come half an hour later, as planned,” he added. “Good. That's plenty of time.”

It was not plenty of time. You should have known. Something was bound to go wrong. Especially with the way this idiot was skipping through your home with his lanky, long limbs. Of course, he'd knock over some things, including a big filled vase in the living room. There was screaming (from you) and roaring laughter from the culprit; chaos ensued as you chased the tall man around your house with a broom. “GOJO SATORU, WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS,” you yelled. “What happened to ‘plenty of time’?” he laughed, simultaneously running for his life.

“You dumbass, I would have been done with cooking a while ago if you didn't knock my shit over so I had to help clean this mess!” you shrieked and stopped running. Satoru looked back - he knew the look on your face: you were done chasing him around. Gulp. You took a step back with your right leg. “I ain't a pokemon trainer but I'll make sure to at least catch you, Gojo-sensei,” you said, just loud enough for him to hear, as a string of concentrated light appeared in your hands. The man on the run knew you weren't able to hurt him thanks to his Infinity but he knew damn well, you could at least restrict him.

Like a lasso, you threw rope in his direction. A clap. More claps. He was teleporting away from you. Yeah, things like this frequently happened with the two of you. “Multiply,” you murmured and your rope did as you commanded. It took the form of a spiderweb... or a fishnet.

“Stop running, so it will be easier for me to catch you, Toru-chan~”, you called.

“Ain't no way,” he said as he ran and turned his head to stick out his tongue. You clicked your tongue. Inhaling deeply, you positioned your leg even farther back. This kind of felt like the Olympic Games or something.

Using the force, you threw out the glowing net. In reality, you knew it was just a second but the moment seemed to stretch in your eyes. “Would it be a good catch today?” You almost heard the fishermen say at the riverbank.

The moment your net connected. The sound of a plop on the ground. Yes, it was indeed a good-looking catch, you mused. Not that your net actually touched him, thanks to his ability, but at least it caged him like a cocoon for the time being, only leaving out the head.

“You look so smug,” Satoru commented, pulling a face. The cocoon vibrated against him, compressing made difficult due to Infinity. “Of course, I just caught a big shiny Magikarp,” you retorted. “Wait, are you calling me useless-”

Ding dong. The sound of the doorbell had your eyes almost popping out of their sockets. A sigh left your lips and you stuck the light to a wall as you trudged your way to the entrance door to let in Yuuji and Nobara. At least you could expect some real and less chaotic help now.

The first thing that greeted them after putting down their presents in the living room was the sight of their white-haired teacher dangling from the ceiling by a mysterious, seemingly sticky and shiny rope thing. “Sorry to ask, sensei, but… did we interrupt something here? Or would it be better not to ask?” Nobara asked, Yuuji was agape. “Yeah, we were-” Satoru started but you quickly shushed him.

You shook your head, “No, but Gojo-sensei couldn’t refrain from pranks, so here we are.”

“Oooookay,” Yuuji said, still flabbergasted.

“So guys, we aren’t quite done yet. Me and Gojo-sensei require a little help… especially in the kitchen,” you said as-a-matter-of-factly.

“Sure, I’ll help in the kitchen then,” Nobara volunteered. The pink-haired boy raised his hand, a sign that he also wanted to help: “I can set the table.”

“Perfect! Nobara and Yuuji, come with me. We have 30 minutes until Megumi will be here. As for you, Satoru, you better clean the mess you made,” you commanded as you shot the cocooned man, who was smiling innocently, a sharp glare. With that, you and your two baby ducklings left the living room.

You showed Yuuji the cupboard where he would find everything he needed, from cups to plates, bowls and whatnot. Nobara helped clean the dishes while you finished up what you were doing before. A few finishing touches were left. Christmas music started playing in your house as you heard someone pace in your living room. Satoru was probably hanging up the remaining Christmas lights in your spacious living room. After all, it was clear as a day that the man would be able to free himself after a few minutes.

You and Nobara made it just in time: 28 minutes. Your pink-haired student, Yuuji, did a surprisingly excellent job, setting the table as beautifully as you had imagined. The dishes were laid out on the table, just waiting to be eaten.

The eagerly awaited guest arrived no sooner than expected, unlike a certain someone, even bearing presents as it seemed. “Christmas is over, why did you decide to play Christmas music?” Megumi remarked, not sounding like he was over the moon.

“Woah, Megumi, you look as grumpy as always!” his male teacher noticed.

“Lighten up a little, will ya?” Nobara added, while the adorable Yuuji gawked at the bag of gifts Megumi had brought with him. “Oh, stop it, you two. Megumi is just not that good at outwardly expressing his emotions,” you defended… and the student didn’t know whether that was an insult or not.

“You brought presents? So cool!” Yuuji was delighted, still looking at the bag and not even paying attention to whatever was happening, until Nobara tugged on his arm to lead him to the dinner table.

Dinner was a little chaotic; everyone was excited, some things were spilled, a lot of words were exchanged, a little banter happened, gales of laughter echoed through your four walls. It was joy. Chaotic joy.

Finally, it was time for the presents. After everyone received their presents, a malicious grin appeared on Satoru’s face from what was to come. Yuuji’s face also had a tinge of mischief to its expression. Yours and Nobara’s face were straight up devilish, the eyes in particular. All of you were looking at him.

An uneasy feeling rose in the dark-haired boy’s stomach. “Run as fast as you can,” it told him and his foot twitched a little, which was not missed by Satoru at all.

“Oh no, you’re not going anywhere!” Nobara exclaimed, then ordered Yuuji to restrict Megumi (which he did) as you put one of Satoru’s blindfolds on your poor, baffled student. Satoru forcefully stuffed Megumi’s mouth with one - then two - mochis to prevent him from making any noisy ruckus. All he heard was feet shuffling through the room. After what felt like an eternity of nervosity to him, the blindfold was finally lifted and Yuuji loosened his grip on his friend.

Unitedly, the four of you, who had planned this surprise for him, wore party hats and chanted, “HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU, FUSHIGURO/MEGUMI.”, holding more presents for him into his face. “Ooh, he is embarrassed!! Look at him, look at him~” Satoru teased and Megumi looked away, a blush spreading on his face. “Am not,” he attempted to retort before being ushered to open the gifts by Yuuji. One by one, they were unwrapped, revealing a nonfiction book from Yuuji, a comfortable hoodie from Nobara, a pair of brand new headphones from you and–…

“Gojo-sensei, I do not mean to impose but…”, you breathed out. “...is that a maid costume?”, Megumi finished what you wanted to ask. “Hell yes, I thought our Megumi would look so nice in it!” Satoru had that shit-eating grin on his face.

Silence.

“Sensei, can you hold him so I can give this perv a good beating?” Nobara asked as she turned to you. “Sure,” you replied with an innocent-looking smile. You heard someone cracking their knuckles. “I’ll help you,” Megumi said. So the sound came from Megumi. “Wait, wait, guys!” your same-aged friend fretted, head whipping in Yuuji’s direction, silently asking for some help. The latter rubbed his head, debating whether he wanted to be a part of this mess or not. He ultimately ended up trying to help his teacher but couldn’t tear away the glowing restraint you put upon your co-teacher.

However, before anyone could land a hit or be saved, a menacing roar could be heard. It was followed by multiple phones ringing and someone banging on your door. “Please, Y/N-san, it’s very urgent! A grade 1 curse is in the city… with a few of its friends!” It was Ijichi. For a moment, everything stood still and you looked at everyone. Satoru spoke up loud enough for Ijichi to hear, “We’ll head out.” He nullified your light technique.

You looked at the man and nodded, heading out with him.

“Wait, sensei, we are coming too,” Megumi said, his face determined as he, Nobara and Yuuji followed the two of you outside. “Fine by me, but don’t die on me,” you said.

[frobin]

Okey serious question here. How much do you actually believe that Oda ships Frobin? Like do you think he actually have like doodles/sketchs of them in a pairing kind of way? like for the strong world film riding the motorbug? (Personally i would love it to be true but he has stated one piece isn't about romance in that way)

Hey there anon! Thank you so much for your question and I hope I can answer it seriously enough. Also once more sorry for the late response. I felt like a question like that needs some research and that is what I did these last few days.

So... I think I'll start with the tl;dr because that way people can read that and ignore the rest.

So, long answer short: I 100% believe that Oda has one or more sketchbooks with drawings of his characters that are absolutely self-indulgent. I am 98% sure that he has drawn Franky and Robin in a romantic way at least once (and supported the ship). I am 80% sure he still is shipping FRobin.

Little disclaimer: I actually have no idea if any of this is true. I pull everything in my arguments out of my own experiences and knowledge and since I'm not a 46 year old Japanese Mangaka my perspective might be WAY OFF.

argument - reason- example - conclusion... behind the cut (or in the google doc)

So, why do I think that Oda has a secret sketchbook?

Simple answer is that he is an artist. He is drawing a lot and no artist will publish everything. That can have multiple reasons like imposter syndrome or because the artist thinks it’s not good or interesting enough or they just forget. There are even more reasons I forget and every person has their own.

For Oda I can imagine two big reasons as to why he would keep secret sketchbooks.

First: He is a horndog. You can skip this part if you don’t want to read about it, to the second reason.

Anyway, we know thanks to answers in the SBS, the way he likes to draw big-breasted women and how some of his characters are classified as perverts that he can be considered one too.

Let me show you a few of a few lewd SBS questions he likes to answer in a funny way:

Chapter 228, Page 46

D: How are ya, Odacchi? I know how much you like getting butt-naked, so this must be a favourite season for you. <3

O: Yes, yes. I just LOVE getting completely naked. In the summertime, after I take a bath I just run STRAIGHT OUTSIDE!! And when the girls' softball team running on the sidewalk looks over at me, they say, "Yup, it's really summer now!!" ... AS IF!! I'D GET ARRESTED!!!

(x)

Chapter 433, Page 68

D: If Lady Robin can use her Hana Hana Powers to make any part of her body sprout somewhere else, does that mean she can do it with her ample bosom as well? "Nyurin-zaki" (Breast Sprout) Boy, I'd like to take a hit from that sometime... P.N. Ero Ero no Mi Devil Fruit User.

O: "Ichirin-zaki" (Single Sprout) "Nirin-zaki" (Double Sprout) "Nyurin-zaki" (Breast Sprout) Very clever!! NO IT'S NOT!! STOP THAT!! I'm sure she CAN do it though ♡

(x)

Chapter 798, Page 64

D: Oddachi, I'll give you a pornographic book, so please answer my question. Sanji won't allow anyone to waste food, but what will he do if a woman does so? P.N. Smoker's Cigar

O: I think he would grab the plate and eat it up. Now please give me the pornographic book.

(x)

Nowadays I’m sure there is a focus on those lewder questions compared to the beginning because that is what 13 year old boys laugh about and we all know that is Oda's main demographic (of course).

I think a very good picture of that is given by Tekking101 in his breakdown video of SBS Volume 100.

“Let’s get diving into these questions (...) now, this is a huge moment. I mean, not many Manga manage to reach 100 Volumes, Okay? Now I know Oda usually starts these off with questions relating to boobs and things that don’t really… you know, aren’t really relevant but you know, this is a big celebration so we’re gonna dive right into it. I bet the most important things that we need to know about the One Piece Story are right here in these pages, okay? I printed them out. That is how important this is. So let’s start off, shall we? Epic voice, Barry!

‘Mister Oda, there is a UFO over there with huge big-breasted beauties on it. That memorable 100 Volume of the SBS is about to begin.’

[pause] Yeah, like the first five of these are all related to boobs in some way. You know what Oda? Sticking true to your guns! Godspeed, Sir Oda. Godspeed.”

(end at around 2:30)

So, Oda is a man who likes beautiful women and who draws.

Coming to the conclusion that he will draw his own characters in suggestive poses, naked and even doing adult stuff is not hard.

Obviously he would not show these sketches just around. He would probably keep them in a secret sketchbook that he keeps at a safe location. Maybe his wife and some close friends know about it? Maybe it is his and only his little secret.

I don’t think it would be unlikely to learn about this years into the future, maybe the next generation of Anime Fans will hear about this.

And it would not be the first time that something like this happened.

Not that long ago the daughter of Osamu Tezuka - groundbreaking Mangaka, known for his works of “Astro Boy”, “Kimba the white lion” and many more - found his adult Furry art. Source; Japanese article;

It’s a fact that many Mangaka did indeed start their career with art of the more risque kind and/or as doujinshi artists.

So again, I have no doubt that Oda, a known pervert, has one or more secret sketchbooks with „the p0rnography“ in it. Is there only hot stuff in there? Not necessarily.

The second reason to keep a secret sketchbook would be to collect information in there, that could be considered canon but he is not willing to use it in the Manga. Maybe they are not important enough or will be used later.

What am I imagining here? Anything that could be considered too weird for the normal sketchbook but isn‘t too risque. Funny things that might still not be „appropriate.“

Like a sketch of the male Strawhat ding-dongs with the sizes beside it. All the lewd jokes the fans did about Luffy's stretching qualities? I’m sure Oda thought about them too and drew that in the past if he had the time and it made him laugh enough.

But also maybe there are scenes in there that never made it in the Manga. The Strawhats interacting with each other in their daily lives, ideas for colorspreads and maybe chapter-titles. Oda probably has noted/sketched down a lot of unofficial stuff somewhere.

Another example, even an artist like Oda himself would have needed to exercise drawing two people kissing. Why not use Characters he thinks that might work out together?

Why not Franky and Robin? I would imagine he sketched up a few panels of Franky and Robin having a romantic date, going shopping together in Dressrosa, having a conversation that we never got to see because it was too on the nose.

Which brings us to the second point of me being very sure that Oda had drawn FrankyXRobin at one point.

I’m sure in those sketchbooks there is at least one drawing of them doing anything couple-related together. Again it does not have to be downright nasty but it could be them holding hands, kissing or even just Robin leaning onto Franky while reading, like all those fanarts that exist out there.

It’s not hard to imagine. Even for other Characters I think that is possible

And there might even be proof for that idea. The sketch of the Strong World movie you also mentioned, anon. The one movie that can be considered canon is Strong World. It was basically written/directed by Oda. Shiki the antagonist had an appearance in the Manga.

This sketch is drawn by Oda. Robin is holding onto Franky.

Can it be read as romantic? Yes. Can it be read as Robin holding onto Franky because there is nothing else to hold onto? Also Yes. But couldn't she just have used her power to keep herself secured on the bike without holding onto Franky? WELL YES. Could Oda never have thought in these circles like I do right now? I hope he did not because I hate it and I don’t wish it upon him.

In the movie Robin is NOT holding onto Franky. Now the really interesting thing - that is neither proof pro nor anti FRobin - is that we can see the sketch provided by Oda as a “between the scenes”.

In the movie Strong World the old trio is collecting information at the Pirate assembly. The next time we see them they use the Batta GT-7000 to slowly approach the destroyed village, which had been ravaged by the animals, and start to look for their friends. No need to hold onto Franky and no need for Brook to lean back. They are looking around.

The sketch is clearly not the same scene as the one we see in the movie.

In conclusion the drawing is indeed a between the scenes drawing. And yes if there exists one, who is to say there aren’t more?

Talking about Animal-Bikes...

Is there any meaning about the fact that in the opening scene (that is part of the talked intro after the opening ‘We Go’ - a huge thanks to antiherofangirl, ccb0nnet, JFL_Estudios and Maems, over at twitter!) Franky and Robin build another grasshopper-based vehicle? Maybe not but I still feel like it’s quite a callback.

Where did the idea to put this in the beginning come from? a) an editor had the idea inspired by Strong World; b) maybe it’s another sketch that Oda provided.

Neither seems very far-fetched in my opinion.

So yes, I am very sure that Oda has drawn things that we would consider FRobin.

Now to the last point (the first being Oda having a secret sketchbook, the second me arguing that Oda might have drawn FRobin).

As I said in the beginning I’m very sure that at one point Oda did and kinda that he still does ship Franky and Robin. Because even though every Interaction of two characters can be depicted as romantic or platonic, Oda used ROMANTIC TROPES with Franky and Robin.

They have never kissed on screen but we had

finishing each other's sentences

coordinated clothes

one using the others lap as pillow

hand on cheek caressing

and we can’t forget that Robin had answered Franky's invitation to ride on another animal-themed bike with a heart.

Edit: I didn‘t say anything about „no romance in OP“ so ask again if you want me to talk a bit about that. Sorry!

Those are things an author of Oda's level would not write or draw without being aware about how teasing this is. He has to be aware that every single line he draws will be analyzed to the end of the universe and back. People earn money by saying their opinion and interpretations about the Manga on Youtube.

These interactions are not something outlandish like “There was once an Anime Scene in which Robin was wearing something blue and exactly 28 episodes later Franky was wearing something violet and then 39 episodes later they both stood beside each other for exactly 69 seconds.”

Whenever I think about these facts, things that are not about interpreting but are factual, black ink on white paper but also about the little things, about how Frank and Robin help each other to become better, how they support each other… I want to say YES! ODA IS 100% on board! While in reality I’m 80% sure and 20% of me is wondering if I’m not actually analyzing too much into it. If maybe he really is abandoning ship. Maybe I will become the person who will curse his name and throw my Mangas and fanfictions in an active volcano?

I don’t know and it’s impossible to say what is going to happen.

And with that I've concluded this answer, and it only took me around 2k words and four days.

[moonflower-31]

Midnight Visits - Spencer Reid x Reader

Requested? No

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: None

If you were going to be honest, you seriously missed your boyfriend.

Not just ‘I haven’t seen him in a few days’. No. You hadn’t seen him in over two weeks due to the onslaught of new cases back to back. And to top it all off, your boss had made you take those two weeks off since you had so much vacation time built up. So you were bored, lonely, and without any sort of human contact. Sure, you had your roommates, but they liked to bring around frat boys who would do nothing but grab your ass and call you sexy. You weren’t a fan.

Finally, you had gotten the text that read

Just getting off the jet now from Manhattan, but you’re probably asleep. So I’ll come visit tomorrow. - Spencer<3

So now you had the dilemma of having to hear your roommate and the new guy she brought over going at it while trying to sleep while your boyfriend refused to come over.

While it was also true that you could just text him and tell him you were awake, you didn’t want to. Besides, who would ask their boyfriend to come over when there’s a very dick-headed alpha male in the other room? There would either be a pissing contest, or one would scare off the other. And you loved Spencer. You truly did. But you doubted that either situation would go in his favor.

You grabbed the (f/c) pillow from the side of your bed where you had kicked it and pressed it against your head in hopes of drowning out the god-awful sounds just across the hall. You knew you and Spencer weren't even that loud!

You stared down your phone from where you had placed it on it’s charging port hours earlier. You had already had 3 hours of restless sleep when your roommate decided it was the perfect time to start moaning her head off. It was now about 12:30 in the damn morning. And you wanted actual sleep so that Spencer didn’t scold you in the morning for not getting adequate sleep.

Unfortunately for you, the phone never buzzed. Nor did the sounds ever stop. In fact, they only got louder. You didn’t know how your other roommate even slept through the nonsense. But she did.

You threw off the pillow in anger and crossed your arm in a huff. This was stupid. You knew exactly where your boyfriend lived. His apartment wasn’t that far from yours. So you could take a quick trip down to his place. Any place that was quieter than your apartment currently was heaven to you. That and you wanted to see him. Even if you might be disturbing his beauty sleep. Ah to hell with beauty sleep. You wanted him and you wanted cuddles. And you wanted them now.

So in the moment you settled on this plan of action you grabbed your earbuds, phone, charger, and your shoes. You slipped on your soft flats and began to hurry to the door before you heard the tell-tale moan.

Your skin erupted in goosebumps as soon as you entered the cold, Quantico night air. You shivered and rubbed your arms up and down. You’d think the summer nights would be warmer.

But instead of turning back around in favor of warmth over comfort, you began your trek down the 5 or 6 blocks to Spencer’s apartment. It wasn’t that bad. And besides, you always carried a small taser on you. Good for zapping a creep in the balls and getting away quick. Yes, Spencer had given that to you.

 

About 15 minutes or so later, you finally made it to Spencer’s apartment building. It was a tall and quite frankly, large building. You wondered how he even afforded his apartment. But then again, he worked for the FBI, he’s probably got those luxuries. Lucky bastard.

You look up at the building and shiver from a passing breeze. Whelp. No turning back now. You look down and towards the sliding glass doors, and begin your walk inside.

Once inside you saw the lobby was basically empty. So you instantly found the elevator and pressed Spencer’s floor. When you got inside and the doors closed, the nervousness and the reality of what you were doing set in. What were you even going to say to him when he opened the door? If even that? Would he be annoyed with you? No. No, you and him had been together for two years. Thick and thin. He wouldn’t be annoyed. He was always happy to see you.

You took a deep breath, and by the time you came back down to earth from your worries, you had made your way to Spencer’s door. You swallow nervously and raise a fist to knock. Once, twice, thrice. You then began to fumble with the phone in your hand and it’s charger. Curse your anxieties.

But before you could chicken out and basically ding-dong ditch your own boyfriend, the knob turned and the door opened to reveal a very tired, but happy to see you Spencer. “Hey.” He greeted, his eyes already full of love at the sight of you.

You immediately feel all your anxieties and worries fall away at his gaze and incoming smile. There was nothing for you to worry about. “Hey yourself. I just… Uh… I couldn’t wait to see you. Sorry if I woke you. That and my roommates are assholes.” You explained. He let out an amused chuckle and shook his head as he smiled at you warmly.

“I’m sure they aren’t that bad. Though I will have to thank them for getting you so bothered as to seek me out.” He teases. “My bed feels lonely, you know.” You giggle.

“I’m sure it is, Spence. Why don’t I come join you? We can cuddle too. Doesn’t have to be just sleep.” You suggested, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively. He raises an eyebrow at your expression and smirks.

“You knocked on my door at 1:12 am, to cuddle?” He teases, giving you a questioning look.

“You complaining, doc?” you tease back. Spencer shrugs at this, finally giving in and opening the door enough to let you in. You grin childishly and race inside, your arms immediately wrapping around him and squeezing him tightly.

“Missed me, huh?” you nodded with a huff, puffing out your cheeks as Spencer put his hand on your head. Yes, you were shorter than him. And he liked to tease the ever loving crap out of you for it.

He chuckled in response, reaching down and picking you up. You let out another giggle and nuzzle closer to him. He carried you to his bedroom, in which you had definitely seen before. He laid you down on his mattress, pressing a kiss to your forehead after he did so. You felt a slight blush appear on your cheeks at the affection. Even after all this time, he still got to you.

Then he turned and headed towards the living room. You huffed and crossed your arms. “What? Are you willingly putting yourself in the doghouse, Spencer?” You tease. You hear a laugh from the other room before Spencer returned with a small, blue, and hard backed book that had small golden embroidery that you recognized. You widened your eyes in recognition and scooted back towards the pillows. You loved when he would read to you before bed. Especially Edgar Allan Poe’s poems.

“I still don’t understand to be put in the ‘doghouse’. I know it’s a metaphor for getting in trouble with a romantic partner, but it still confuses me. H-however the first writings of the saying originate from the Criminalese in 1926. The origin though is more prosaic than the peter pan theory. Meaning someone who is put out into the cold. But it still doesn’t fit.” He explains, taking a seat next to you on the mattress. You smiled up at him as he shared with you another fact that you didn’t know. You loved it when he rattled off on statistics and explanations that not everyone knew about. It was one of the many things you loved about him.

You snuggled closer to him without any interruptions, not wanting to bother his thought process. He soon after wrapped an arm around your frame and held you close. “Either way, I was just going to get this book. What poem were we on?” he asks you. You roll your eyes. He already knew. He’d memorized the whole damn book.

You gently hit his arm teasingly. “Spence.” You warned. He chuckled and kissed your forehead again.

“I know. Just teasing. I know you like this.” He reminds as he opens the small poem book in his large hands. He clears his throat gently and begins to read softly to you. You look up at him tiredly. Now that you didn’t have much distractions or noise, you realized just how tired you were. And just how tired Spencer looked. You laid your head on his chest and listened to his voice tell the short story of Anabel Lee.

“It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea that a maiden there lived whom you may know by the name of Anabel Lee.” Spencer began, his voice deep and soothing to your ears. His eyes moved down the page slowly so as to read it slow enough for you. “In this maiden she lived with no other thought than to love and be loved by me. I was a child and she was a child in this kingdom by the sea. But we loved with a love that was more than love, I and my Anabel Lee.” He continued, adjusting his arm a bit. His voice was still just as warm and loving as it was when he began, lulling you even closer to sleep.

“With a love that the winged Seraphs of heaven coveted her and me. And this was the reason that long ago in this kingdom by the sea, a wind blew out of a cloud, chilling my Anabel Lee.” He continued, his eyes tired and slowly drooping with stories of a case I would most likely find out more on tomorrow. “So that her highborn kinsmen came and bore her away from me to shut her up in a Sepulcher in this kingdom by the sea. The Angels, not half as happy in heaven when envying her and me. Yes that is the reason, as all men know in this kingdom by the sea, that the wind came out of a cloud by night, chilling and killing my Anabel Lee.”

You felt your eyelids closing tireously, although you fought back as you tried to stay awake long enough for him to finish the poem. But his voice was so calming, and you just felt so safe, warm, and protected in his arms. You wondered what it was like for him.

 

“But our love was stronger by far than the love of those who are older than we, of many far wiser than we. And neither the Angels in heaven above, nor the Demons down under the sea, can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Anabel Lee. For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of the beautiful Anabel Lee. And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes of the beautiful Anabel Lee.” Damn his voice was so soothing. You were already almost asleep. How did he even stay awake with a voice like that?

“And so the night tide I lie down by the side of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride in the Sepulcher there by the sea, in her tomb by the sounding sea.” Spencer finished, squeezing you tightly as he closed the book and placed it gently on the nightstand beside him.

“Hey Spence?” You ask tiredly, blinking up half lidded at your boyfriend. He turned his head and gave you a questioning look. You smiled and began to mumble. ��Am I your Anabel Lee?” You asked sleepily. Spencer smiled at you and let out a happy sigh.

“Yes you are. Now sleep, (Y/N).” He insists, running a gentle hand through your hair as a relaxer. You smiled sleepily and snuggled even closer to him, happy with his answer.

He yawned and turned to the lamp, turning off it’s light before turning back to you and wrapping both arms around you. He was glad you’d stopped by for an impromptu visit. You made his bed less lonely. And he already had missed you terribly. He really had to thank those roommates of yours though.

Then the idea came to his head. If he was so lonely in his bed without you, why didn’t he just ask you to move in with him? You two had been dating for some time now. And he did want you around more. He would have to think about it some more but he was sure he wanted to ask you. But for now, he was going to enjoy the gift of having you nestled gently in his arms. Right where you belonged.

[plutoswrath]

horror for each sign

(Warning: explict description of violence and disturbing scenes.)

Aries: Gruesome:

I sit in the living room. The TV is turned on but there is no sound but the endless noise of the static. Black and white orbs mix into my vision and the walls are painted red. It mixes beautifully with the minty wallpaper, now adorened with red roses.  Mother was so annoying. Always telling me to move aside from the TV (’Stop watching TV!’). So I took the hammer Mother usues to tender the meat with. She sat in front of the TV. And I smash the hammer towards her head. Tendering her head like a fine filet. (Splatter. Splatter. Splatter. Crimson colored splatters everywhere). Mother is quiet and in my head everything is very loud. But then my favorite TV show comes on and I sit in front of the big, static scene. I forget Mothers now very well tendered head behind me. I am not bothered, being just by myself. 

Taurus: Tragic:

This appartement is a nightmare to sell. I’ve had some tough cases and some tough clients, but this is...nothing I was prepared for. Nothing about appartement 26 seems off at frst. It’s rather small, I could even say it has the potential to be cozy and warm, but there is something eerie clawing on your back, as soon as you enter it. Not to mention the figures I see in the corner of my eye and in the mirrors sometimes. The carpet is old and smells like somebody desperately tried to clean it over and over again in order to cover something up (murder maybe?). The bed always looks as someone just sat on it, even though I made it minutes ago. I learned not to put my keys on the shelf because they will go missing and reapear on strange places (behind the shower curtains). I am doomed because I am bound to this appartement. There has been a number that keeps calling me and asks if it’s still avaible, we made an appointment for a visit, but no one appeared. I can’t call them back, the number isn’t avaible (that’s what the voice of the Lady at the other side of the receiver whispers). But this number keeps calling me, every Friday at 12pm. I know something happened there, but at this point I don’t dare to search for answers.

Gemini: Disastrous:

Once there was a man, with a house big enough for him to live, too small for a family to grow. The man drew a picture of his family every day - 4 people. Happy and smiling, eating dinner at the kitchen table. The man brushed his teeth every night before lying down to sleep and combed his 4 puppets hair.  Humming, humming. He loved his puppets, dear companionship they were always there for him where did my family go? No need for a family I told her to stop shouting at me as his house is too small to grow one. Because he is alone and forever and will be and will not seek out for a real life company what do you mean they aren’t my children? Ding dong. I open the door and see a child a child that is not mine. I will refuse to accept that they aren’t mine I am alone and will keep me company, yes come in, I will buy some cookies, sit down on the couch, you want to look at my puppets?

Once there was a man, with  a house big enough for him to live, too small for a family to grow. But enough space for a small family of puppets, now combing 5 heads every night before lying down to sleep. 

Cancer: Cruel:

It is 08:30 pm. in the deepest of winter. The sun has set a long time ago and the world outside is warpped in a thick blanet of glistening snow. Four children brush their teeth before lying down to sleep, as they hear someone climbing down the stairs and opening the door. 

“Children, lie down, will you? Uncle Vitja will tell you a nice story before you go to sleep, okay? Since your mother and father are still in that restaurant they mentioned earlier they told me to help you fall asleep. Of course I prepared a nice story from Russia, what kind of question - oh, just hear what I have to tell, okay? Have you ever heard of Baba Yaga? No? Ha! I thought so, now, listen closely..never, never go alone into the forest and be disrespectful to nature, you hear me? Baba Yaga has her eyes and ears everywhere and somewhere she will watch you when you try to pick all the flowers from the fields or demolish the trees with a knife; yes I am looking at all of you! You are closeby teh forest, so pay attention! Her hut can’t be found since it stands on chicken legs and wanders around. Also you can’t enter even when you find it, because it turns around when sensing intrudors. But you’ll notice if its her shack even when it looks normal because the garden is adorned with human skulls since she likes eating us. Huh? What are you looking at me? I only tell the truth! She is one with the earth and one with life and death; she decides who needs to die and who doesn’t but this all...makes her hungry at times, it’s exhausting you know and the flesh of humans is so tender....”

Uncle Vitjas eyes run across the room as he turns to the opened window. 

“Rule number one: never leave your windows open when your parents aren’t home. Yaga smells the bad spirit of mean children!”

And his eyes turn red and his nose long. His back shrinks and his skin turns to bark. The teeth long and metallic. The children are in shock and fear grips them tightly as the old womans long finger hover over to them. They can only hope for their parents to come home soon. 

Leo: Mad:

“Manot? Dear, is that you? (.....) Dear, don’t be mistaken, I am sorry for troubling you with my calls lately, but I am so far away and I needed to hear you voice (.....) Oh silly, have you forgotten how to speak? I called your mom yesterday because I read that you couldn’t bring yourself to look her in the eyes after stealing the money she put aside for your fathers surgery (...) Oh- so sorry, I know you told me not to read your diary, but please, put those dangerous pills aside and come to me - no rehab needed, just my ever lasting love that heals you (............) Manot...now, don’t be mean. I wouldn’t break into your home if you would just give me the keys like I asked you to in my last love letter!! Pay attention to my words and you wouldn’t be so troubled all the time!! Stupid bitch, igoring me and my love as always, why do you think you’re higher than me? (.................) Can’t say something? (...............) Hello? (.......crrk.........) Hello? Are you recording this? Just wait till I come home! Hope you don’t fall asleep without me, hehe, mind it if you could put on those sweet mint colored panties you wore back than as you graduated? I loved these...ha..... (....). Well then, I need to go to work now. See you soon love. Bye.”

Virgo: Cold:

Our Grandmother used to tell us stories about her old school. Stories I like to tell my friends when we sit together for a drink after work. She has always been a funny woman, she’s been a clever kid that liked to trick her teachers at times and told me she never got into trouble because of the ‘funny’ old man (a monk to be specific) that apparently no one saw except her. The school (having been a monestary in the past) was old and full of history. And the kids gave the dead walls new life. And so did my Grandmother to this dead man who never talked but stood in the corner, pointing to opened windows  she snook out when her teachers turned away. Or directing her to the funny old photobooks of former students in the big library. He never left the grounds of the school though. She was young - 8 years old maybe - and felt special to have made such an ‘unique and special friend’, that she never thought about the fact that it could’ve been a ghost. So I asked her if he was nice. Her smile turned crooked and she looked out of the window as she answered: “I think he was once, but he was lonely for too long. One day I walked down the hallway and he pointed to staircase to the cellar or our school - something we were forbidden to go to under any circumstances because of the gigantic oven that stood there. Well, as idiotic as I was I followed him, but right in front of the doorway I stopped. His smile was off and he pointed into the black room where the giants red and orange mouth of the oven smiled at me. I felt the chance in the air and left, shaking my head. He looked angry and sad at the same time. Later that day one of our students went missing. And they found him. 2 days later, his ashes and bones in the oven. I am glad I was smart enough not to walk into the room that day and I never saw that monk again.”

Libra: Erroneous:

‘I love you, I love you’, I whisper as I turn the knife in your chest and stab into you heart for more than a thousand times. All the times I told you I loved you, I revisit those memories and breath heavily as I remember our first kiss. ‘Ah, your eyes are beautiful..’ So I plunge them out and put them in a jar, I place them on the top of my bookshelf so I can look at them and you can look at me when I lie down to sleep.  I  f e e l  t h e  w a r m t h  o f  y o u r  b l o o d  o n  m y  b o d y  G  o  d   y o u  f e e l  s o  g    o      o         d. I love the way you looked at me and you loved my smile so I engrave it into my skin, on my face - forever. I place my hand on your chest and the open wound allows me to toucg your heart. I smell you and feel you.

          I                                         l  o  v  e                                                y o  u. 

Scorpio: Demonic:

‘It is him who writes the names behind our wallpaper, when our little daughter tells me to look behind it. He is the nightmare that keeps her up at night, the monster underneath her bed, the long black hair that is tickling me in the shower. There is a shadow I feel standing behind me, someone breathing in my neck; the wind that is closing and opeing our doors and the force that drags me from the couch every time I try to sleep there. The feeling of someone standing behind me and watching how the blood begins to pump under the constant pressure in our own precious four walls.  There are eyes inside of the dark- A pair of two red eyes accompanying me everywhere. They are placed in every little black corner in our house. I see them in the reflection of the TV and the computer screen. They are bloody and since weeks our sleeping room smells foul. And it is I who brought him here in order to bring you back, my dear, and I brought sin over our love, over our home, over the one I swore to protect. And I will continue protecting her - in heaven.’

Love, Helena

(To whoever finds this: leave the ruins of this home and never come back.He will follow.)

Sagittarius: Bloody:

I once visited this town on one of my trips. It was small and far away from the next bigger city, but people from all around it swooned over the restaurants that has been there for several generations - apparently it served the finest meat in town. So naturally, I ordered a table for one the following day and tried a steak myself. Indeed, it was fine - very fine, tender and beautifully pink colored in the middle. I am confused though: I haven’t seen any fields with cattles or any farms on my way to this city. Nor do they have many tourists here; so how does this restaurant survive over the years? Then again, my uncle is an ivestigator and told me that near the next biggest city that is two hours away have been reported people that went missing over the past 50 years. And seemingly, they never reappeared. But they cases went cold since there were almost no hints or tracks. 

Oh god .

.

.

What am I eating?

Capricorn: Sinnful:

Day after day he cared for the old cathedral, being the only Pastor to talk to for the old village, in the dark times of WW1 being the voice of sanity that bring clarification for the desperate citizens. “God”, he asked one day, knees on the ground, “why does his happen to us? What did we do, our small village, to deserve being conflicted in this war?” God -  knowing that the higher sense of the things happening aren’t for this man to understand, the pastor knowing for sure that it is evi, tempted people creating chaos on earth - kept quiet and knew this was an inner war he had to fight for himself. The devil - listening as well - being sneaky and answering the man instead: “You want to know?”, he asked alluring. The pastor cried. “Yes..all this blood and murder..” Content the devil whispered into the ear of the Pastor, telling him all the sins of the people in town, showing him that there is no such thing as innocence.  No, every time someone dared to go to the confessional, it was not the Pastors voice answering him. Something dark devoured his soul that night, letting him lose hope in good and moral. And he shamed them. And he pushed their souls to the cliff in times of gruesomeness. And no one dared to put a foot into the church, even after the war. Because an old, bald man with bloodstained eyes wrote hieroglyphics on the wall at night, talked in gibberish and dared to haunt everyone who stepped into this holy place with their sinfull souls. 

Aquarius: Immoral:

24.11.2017. Day 23. I didn’t leave the labor for almost a month now. I am not interested in eating. I don’t want to sleep. I just...can’t stop hearing those screams of this...abstrusity the doctor shot two days ago.  I think he lost his mind. He thinks creating live is like cooking: grabbing some ingredients that seem to get along together and putting it all into one mixing bowl - hoping for the best. But that’s not it. That’s against nature, that is...disgusting. He is whispering names to those dead mutated baby animals. (Sophie, wasn’t it?) He hopes for them to live, but how are they supposed to live if they can’t even move their limbs? I wonder now, how far will he go? I am afraid he will test on me. I am a female, perfect to give birth to whatever he wants me to. I need to find a way out of here, before I become one of his subjects. He looks at me always a little too long at times. And he complimented my wide hips once.  I will hide this letter somewhere safe, so he won’t find it, but please, if someone’s gonna find this and me, nurse ▇▇ ▇▇▇ is no more, please, stop this madness. He has a cellar I am not allowed to go in, God knows what he is keeping in there, since I already know where he is keeping the animals. To whoever reads this, stay safe, don’t be fooled by easy money making like me.

Pisces: Otherworldly :

Mom doesn’t believe me.

She doesn’t believe that there is a Boogeyman in the closet, with yellow eyes and long, long fingers that tries to grab little children in their sleep. She doesn’t believe that when I close the door behind me, I can hear someone scratching at the other side of it. She doesn’t believe that there is someone standing in front of the window at night, that’s why I close the curtains always for her and force her to look away when the dark figures in the mirrors try to scare her. Mom hates the footsteps at night, but I just try to catch those bats that get into our attic every night. He sends them and tries to scare her so much so that she falls down the stairs and breaks her neck. 

Mom didn’t believe me back then and years later after I died in this house she still tries do deny the evil in it. But I am here to protect her. Even tho she is afraid of me, I love her and will forever be by her side. 

[slit-the-rasceta]

For you, I’ll stay | III: The Soldier

written by — @slit-the-rasceta // @monoluvie​

BREAK AND ENTRY AT THE HILL January 10, 1996, Wednesday

YONGSAN-GU, SEOUL — Dispatch calls to the Seoul patrol at around 11:00 PM last night, January 9, reported a break and entry at the executive subdivision, The Hill. To those unfamiliar with the residential area, The Hill is publicised as the most upscale, private subdivision in the greater Yongsan area. This places it as one of the more heavily guarded places in the district as it houses mostly political and affluent residents.

Officers arrived at the scene of the crime at approximately twenty minutes past the time of the distress call. According to the police, the call was made by Assistant Inspector Lee Yuna as she arrived at the house of the Minister of National Defense, Kim Dongjin, taken on the record, the Assistant Inspector confirms that it was indeed the Minister’s house that was broken into, she adds that this was not a case of mere breach of property, but also of assault and possibly attempted kidnapping.

The victim was the Minister’s 19-year old daughter, Kim Jiho, who was found by the Minister himself at their garage—bruised, bloodied and unconscious. Medics arrived soon after to treat the family for shock as well as Ms. Jiho for the severe wounds she sustained.

When asked about the suspect or the possible motive, Assistant Inspector Lee refused to give any comment and closed the scene from further media personnel. — THE SEOUL DAILY

132-12 Cheongdam-dong, Gangnam-Gu, Seoul The Miroh Brotherhood House (미로 일족 집) January 10, 1996, Wednesday 5:00 hrs.

In the silence of their mansion, he sits with a posture so straight one would think he had never experienced the feeling of bowing down to someone. He was wearing a double-breasted suit with fabric that gives off a sheen as the dawn peeks through the blinds, and with not a stray hair in sight, he looks every bit of the capo famiglia, albeit he’d rather be called just “Hyung”—although never “Chan”.

His underboss, or capo bastone, is the singular exception. “Chan.” his voice is level, knowing full well what their leader is up to so early in the morning.

“They’re like a bunch of ants, Woojin,” he sighs, folding the newspaper and placing it back on the mahogany coffee table—as though it was pure entertainment to see the police force scrambling just to give a decent statement to the press. “One break in their routine and they end up in chaos, it’s hilarious.”

His light chuckle only earned him a glare from his right-hand man. “You really shouldn’t mock them, you know.” he shakes his head, hands pocketed. Although he must admit that he too, found it amusing—the SMPA’s inefficiency, that is.

“And why not?” Chan stands, smoothing out the creases of his suit jacket. “They can’t even trace a simple phone call, besides, I think I’m allowed to revel in some form of gratification while this is all happening. It’s not every day that you come across this.” he picks up the documents that they retrieved from the Minister’s home office.

That was the main objective, after all; In order of priority, their operation centered on first, retrieving all the vetting intel of every legislative electoral candidate and second, on replacing that intel with a carefully-curated message for the Minister.

—

Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency, Jogno-gu District. January 13, 1996, Saturday. 13:30 hrs.

Her eyes were bloodshot, and her neck was strained, but she had finally figured it out, after three sleepless nights, and a minimum of three cups of coffee per day, she had finally sorted things out. On the first day, she had successfully detailed the night’s events in proper order—down to the time the security system was breached and the moment the wiretapped phone lines were restored to normal.

On the second day, she had returned to the crime scene and taken statements from a secondary victim, the maid, and from eyewitnesses who reportedly saw a suspicious-looking van parked at an empty lot near the residence of the Minister, and finally, on the last day, she realized how that 19-year old girl fit into all of this.

She had pieced everything together as soon as she heard the new development on the case earlier that day.

“Assistant Inspector,” one of the officers-in-training had called her, knocking on the glass door before stepping through the threshold of the conference room. She had been the only one left on the floor as everyone took their lunch break. It was something she was used to doing, and since the briefing with the Minister was due on Monday, everyone knew that she would be cooped up in the conference room anyway.

“What is it?” she asks, not turning around to face the younger boy.

“The Minister called.” his voice was level, but there was a slight undertone of worry, she turns her head so quickly she almost got whiplash. “What did he say?”

“He said…” the officer trails off, hesitant, but at the grave look on her face, he  gulps and continues. “The Minister said he found out just now that on the night of the assault, the perpetrators also broke into his home office, cracked the vault and took the documents.”

She quirks an eyebrow at this; how could the Minister only know of this now? Surely he noticed that the documents were missing that same night or at the very latest the day after? Did he have an oversight or was he waiting for something?

“What kind of documents?” she asks, shoulders squared and lips pressed in a thin line. If she was being honest, she hadn’t the slightest clue what they could possibly want but if they were detailed enough to carry out such an elaborate plan, it would have to be something concerning—at the very least, national governance or those with high-enough security clearance to even keep such a paper trail in their own home.

“Vetting documents…” the officer said, handing a list of names over to her. “Of all the electoral candidates for this year’s legislative elections.”

—

51-7, Gocheog il-dong, Guro-gu, Seoul. Assistant Inspector Lee Yuna’s Residence. January 14, 1996, Sunday. 02:00 hrs.

Her apartment was on the seventh floor. It had been a routine of hers to take the stairs instead of the elevator, no matter how tired she was, but she had checked out of the agency at almost 2:00 am, and while the commute back to the apartment complex wasn’t too taxing, she knew that she had no more energy left to walk six flights of stairs.

The elevator lobby was empty, the stone flooring gleaming as the lights bounced off of its surface, she had pressed the arrow pointing up, but the current elevator cabs were still making their way to the ground floor. While waiting, she heard footsteps echo across the lobby, but thought less of it because she had gotten used to crossing paths with one or two night owls, or sometimes, the occasional delivery man.

She was living in an upper middle-class apartment complex where most of the tenants either had middle management positions in their own jobs, or were a few people away from getting the position of their boss, but that didn’t mean that they wouldn’t order takeout or come home in the early hours of the morning.

Just as the sound of the footfalls stopped, the ‘ding’ of the elevator cab opening snapped her out of her reverie, she had been thinking about the case throughout her whole commute home—it was the small things, like the public service announcements at the train station or the elevator ding just now, that kept her on her toes; granted, she was practically sleepwalking, but she made sure to give herself some pockets of lucidity before she finally falls flat on her bed.

As the elevator doors closed, she looks up, and sees a man wearing an all-black attire and a navy blue baseball cap. He was just standing there, hands in his pockets and stance at ease.

However, something about him sent a chill through her spine. Her mind traces back to the sound of footsteps a while ago, but she belatedly realizes that she had never seen that guy in their apartment complex before.

Thoroughly awake—and downright unnerved, she brisk-walks towards her unit as soon as she exits the elevator. At the last turn, she feels her pulse quicken as she senses something shuffling at the end of the corridor. Immediately, she double-locks the door as she safely enters the apartment.

By this time, she’s dropped her attaché case and file folders on the floor, one hand trembling over the holster at the small of her back and the other still perched over the brass doorknob. The entire apartment is silent, yet she could feel her heart threaten to burst through her ribcage and her breathing spin into an irregular pattern of inhale, exhale, exhale, inhale.

Realizing that there was nothing to be worried about, she focuses on her breath, and closes her eyes, removing her hands from the holster and doorknob. After a few minutes, she was finally able to match her breathing with her heartbeat. The deeper her inhale, the slower the exhale—the calmer she became. Gradually, she felt a warmth travel from her nape to the soles of her feet, as though her shadow had somewhat become a spectre of positive light behind her.

She felt calmer and calmer, all thoughts of the case drifting away momentarily as the brief surge of adrenaline after bolting away from that disturbing (not to mention, obscure) force brought her down an unprecedented high, she began to vocalize her breathing, inhaling from the nose and exhaling from the mouth.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Somehow she heard her breathing becoming louder, even though she had only controlled it to the point where it was no more than a few decibels higher than a whisper.

Curiously, she felt her breathing form some sort of echo, as though after the sound of her inhale or exhale, a ripple was heard throughout her apartment—like a follow-through of another breath being expelled.

And then, she hears it again. This time, a full beat earlier than her, as it grew louder and louder, she felt the unease build up again, and just when she moves to turn her head, the sound of the breathing is redirected straight to the shell of her ear, the warm burst of air sending goosebumps rising all over her skin.

“It took you three days?”

Her breath caught in her throat. It was a man’s voice. Her knee-jerk reaction was to reach for her gun, but she flinches instead, giving him purchase over her entire upper torso. He snakes one hand through both her arms and locks both behind her back, with his other hand unclasping the gun and tossing it halfway across the room.

This time her breathing skyrockets into an erratic, rollercoaster-like pace. She knows she is about to experience another panic attack, but she also will not let her assailant get the upper hand.

She charges backwards to the wall with a force enough to elicit a grunt from him as he momentarily loosens his grip over her arms. She wrestles away and scrambles for the gun in the dark. After making out the shape of her handgun, she reaches for it just as her assailant is about to pick up her files.

They both stand at attention, her gun pointed at him. He was the epitome of sleek and composed—the lines of his body fluidly melding into one resolute silhouette. Meanwhile, her entire figure was shaking and her aim was for sure aligned with the peephole instead of his actual figure. She realizes now that he was standing by the doorway—where her things were, and she was by the terrace, the telephone an arm’s reach away.

She contemplates on making a dispatch call to any patrol officer in the area, but realizes she couldn’t risk that move with him having more than one of the advantages. He’s got immediate access to the exit as well as all her files about the case—she assumed that was what he was asking about earlier, and he could easily just pick up the files and still have enough time to flee the scene before any unit actually comes.

No, she has to play along with the deadlock—at least until she manages another plan.

“What do you want?” she doesn’t stutter but there is a relatively distinct lilt in her tone.

“You’re asking the wrong question,” he gives a one-shouldered shrug, hands still in his pockets. Just as she was about to lower her gun, he moves forward. She takes a step back, almost as if he had taken an entire lunge across the room.

Thoroughly confused, she feels her grip on her handgun quiver even more, as he keeps on taking step after step towards her. Finally, he stops, a few feet away from her. He holds onto her gun. She hesitates for a second, not wanting to lower her gun down. But he reaches for the safety, pulls it back and realigns her gun to his face. “You are going to shoot me after all, right, Ms. Inspector?”

He takes a step back, letting the moonlight wash over the both of them.

“So,” he puts his hands back in his pants’ pockets. “Might as well make the question count before you take a shot.”

Baffled at his nonchalance, she squares her shoulders. If he’s actually giving her an opportunity to shoot him at such close proximity, she might have a chance at severely wounding him, after a beat, she stiffens her hold on the gun, supporting it with her other hand. She’s thought of a question to buy her some time to get a proper shot.

“What do you want with those documents?” she squints, hoping to make out some features of her assailant.

“Hm,”  He hums in response, looking up to the ceiling as if in thought. “Close enough.”

Almost instantaneously, he disappears from her direct line of sight. Before she could register what was happening, he knocks out the gun from her hand as he bolts up from a crouching position, reappearing a hair’s breadth away from her.

The sting from his blow renders her dominant hand useless. Thrown off balance, she has no time to recover as he takes advantage of her open form and holds down her entire arm with one hand and envelopes her throat with the other.

He lifts her up a few inches from the floor—his russet irises turning into gold against the moonlight. He slowly clenches his hand around her throat, revelling in the sound of her chokes and gasps. Despite her attempts at clawing on his arm or prying his fingers off, tears well at her waterline as she feels herself slowly lose hold of the present moment.

“A broken wrist,” he says, and snaps her entire hand backward. She wants to scream but she could barely breathe as it is. “And a few minutes of unconsciousness should be enough answer.” he says, but she can barely make out his voice.

Her world slowly began to fade into darkness as he let her drop to the floor with a dull thud.

He walks towards the entrance, picks up her files from the floor and tucked it inside his inner pocket. He was about to leave, his hand was already holding the door knob but he spares her a second glance, and catches sight of the telephone.

“You should have called when you had the chance.” he says to himself in the night’s silence. “He was patrolling your area tonight.” He closes the door behind him, walking back to the parking lot.

[mysilentmemory]

10 YEARS AGO, SUPER JUNIOR’S 'SORRY, SORRY' CHANGED K-POP FOREVER

THE SONG NOT ONLY CATAPULTED SUPER JUNIOR TO STARDOM, BUT IT REVOLUTIONIZED K-POP — AND EVERYONE FROM SEVENTEEN TO NCT HAVE COVERED IT

On any given day, fans of K-pop groups rally on Twitter to get their faves noticed. Whether that’s trending hashtags to get them onto social media charts or to win actual awards, you can’t escape their passionate presence on your timeline. And though social media has always been an integral part of K-pop fandom, it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that K-pop stan Twitter became a force to be reckoned with. K-pop groups regularly dominate Billboard’s social chart, and now even brands stan Loona. But in order to get to that place in the digital space, a lot of ground had to be broken, and it can be traced back to exactly 10 years ago.

In terms of Hallyu (Korean pop culture) history, 2009 was an iconic year. Some would even argue it was a more impactful era in terms of K-pop reaching audiences outside of Korea than 2012’s “Gangnam Style.” According to an unpublished survey collected by Korea Creative Content Agency USA in 2014, the majority of K-pop fans in the States (39.5 percent) started consuming K-pop earlier than 2009, as opposed to 26.8 percent between 2012 and 2013. PSY might have turned himself into a viral phenomenon, but 2009 was a launch pad for a lot of what K-pop is today.

The year also marked a pivotal time in the internet age, which helped the globalization of Korean music. By 2009, YouTube and social media platforms had already started making K-pop content like music videos and choreography videos more accessible to consumers. This accelerated the spread of information — and dance crazes — to the world. One of the first male acts to set off a dance craze on social media was veteran K-pop group Super Junior with their 2009 mega hit “Sorry, Sorry.”

Released first as a digital single and soon followed by an album of the same name and the music video on March 12, "Sorry, Sorry" not only catapulted Super Junior to Hallyu stardom, but it revolutionized K-pop itself.

Right from the start, the song says what it’s all about: dance. Packed with a repetitive chorus, chant-like hooks, and auto-tuned vocals, “Sorry, Sorry” utilized the pop formula of the day to perfection and delivered an earworm. The album debuted at No. 1 on one of South Korea’s most important music charts, and the song topped the charts too. It also reached No. 1 in other countries like Taiwan and Thailand, and it landed in the Top 10 in the Philippines. In Taiwan, “Sorry, Sorry” spent 36 consecutive weeks at No. 1. For a lot of older K-pop fans, "Sorry, Sorry" was an entry point, thanks to the countless flash mobs — a very 2009 trend — and dance covers uploaded online from Malaysia to Indonesia to even a prison in the Philippines.

Sorry, Sorry signaled Super Junior’s coming of age, not only sound-wise, but conceptually. Their sleeker, more sophisticated neutral color palette showed a more mature side to the SM Entertainment group, who made their debut in 2005. They shifted away from the visual kei-inspired concept of previous songs like “Don’t Don” and “U” — a major trend at the time — and instead embraced an aesthetic that would inspire the next decade of K-pop. The focus on the choreography highlighted Super Junior’s strengths in numbers, which helped popularize the idea of larger-sized male groups (think ZE:A, SEVENTEEN, and The Boyz). Not to mention, the virality of a point dance had been something representative of girl groups at the time, but after “Sorry, Sorry,” male groups like SHINee (“Ring Ding Dong”) and 2PM (“Again and Again”) followed suit.

And Super Junior were pioneers in other ways as well. They were the first K-pop group to feature a Chinese national in its ranks, and though he constantly ran into setbacks for being a foreigner and eventually left the group, Hankyung (who now goes by his Chinese name Han Geng) opened doors for all non-Koreans in the idol industry today.

ailblazers in the global music industry by collaborating with Latinx artists Leslie Grace and Play-N-Skillz on the English-Spanish-Korean banger “Lo Siento” — and with Reik on “Otra Vez” — becoming the first Korean act to enter Latin Billboard charts twice.

Due to mandatory military enlistments, departures, and other issues, Super Junior’s lineup has been changing for the better part of a decade. The act’s current active members are Leeteuk (real name Park Jeong-su), Kim Heechul, Yesung (Kim Jong-woon), Shindong (Shin Dong-hee), Eunhyuk (Lee Hyuk-jae), Lee Donghae, Choi Siwon, and Kim Ryeowook. Once Cho Kyuhyun wraps up his service in May, Super Junior will have a fixed lineup active for the first time in 10 years.

Nowadays, "Sorry, Sorry" is almost like a rite of passage for newer groups, with everyone from EXO to SEVENTEEN to NCT, and even BTS, GFRIEND, and TWICE — together with Leeteuk, who's become a favorite on Korean variety shows — covering it. The song is also a frequent pick on competition shows like Produce 101, where all but two members of the winning “Sorry, Sorry” team ended up debuting in the popular temporary group Wanna One.

To celebrate 10 years of Sorry, Sorry and its lasting impact on K-pop today, let’s take a look at some of the standout tracks that made that album so iconic.

"Sorry, Sorry"

The song that started it all. Whether it’s the catchy melody, the ddan-ddan-ddans, or the continued use of "shawty" and "sorry," good luck getting "Sorry, Sorry" out of your head. And when you pair it with an equally memorable “point dance” of rubbing your hands in an apologetic manner, it’s no surprise that every K-pop stan on YouTube — and in the idol industry — has this song and its choreography on lock.

Produced by SM Entertainment’s in-house producer Yoo Young-jin (Red Velvet’s “Bad Boy,” NCT U’s “Boss”), Super Junior changed up their sound for this single. After exploring alternative rock, they went for an R&B and funk-infused dance track, a trait that would come to characterize the group for years.

"It’s You"

Following up “Sorry, Sorry” with something just as good must’ve been difficult or even impossible to fathom, but Super Junior pulled through. Two months after “Sorry, Sorry,” the group dropped the album’s second single “It’s You.” Written and produced by E-Tribe (Girls’ Generation’s “Gee,” Loona’s “love4eva”), “It’s You” is a more mellow approach for a dance and contemporary R&B song than “Sorry, Sorry.” It features a clapping beat, a haunting repetition of the phrase “it’s you” in Korean, and a balanced harmony of the members’ voices. The track also marked an important era in Super Junior history, since it was the last single to feature all 13 members of the core group in a music video (Hankyung left the group by the end of the year and Kibum went on a permanent hiatus). Upon release, “It’s You” reached No. 1 on South Korea’s then most popular social media platform, Cyworld.

"It’s You" has been revamped recently and the group — whose members are all well into their 30s — now perform it at their concerts with new lace blindfolds, which they take off mid-chorus and use as a prop. And though it still sounds distinctly 2009, the song has aged beautifully.

"Why I Like You"

There’s always that one song on an album that fans wish was a promotional single but unfortunately isn’t. On Sorry, Sorry said track is “Why I Like You.” Though performed as a b-side together with “Sorry, Sorry” on music shows, it deserved way more attention. Super Junior are the kings of, among many things, the dance-ballad, and “Why I Like You” is their crown jewel within that genre.

"Monster"

Before EDM took over, laser synths on a pop-R&B hybrid were everything in K-pop. And “Monster,” with its dark, Timbaland-like moody production, perfectly encapsulated the sound of an era. It’s a major throwback sonically, but “Monster” is undoubtedly an underrated deep cut.

"Heartquake (feat. TVXQ!’s U-know Yunho & Micky Yoochun)"

 [VIDEO LINK]

One of the group’s many sub-units is Super Junior-K.R.Y., which stands for Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, and Yesung, who are the group’s main vocalists. On Sorry, Sorry, the trio were given their own song that featured their SM labelmates U-know Yunho and Micky Yoochun, then both part of TVXQ! "Heartquake" is a mid-tempo heartbreak ballad with a hip-hop influence thanks to U-know Yunho and Micky Yoochun self-written rap verses.

CR:mtv

[nochuuuenthusiast]

approval

hi guys! i’m so sorry... this series is taking me forever to edit and perfect ahhh! i’ll try to post the next part of this series sometime this week (maybe friday~ ish)... okay well here you go, and i hope you have an amazing day :)

plot: jungkook gets your parents’ approval

genre: fluff

word count: 2286

(a/n): peep jungkook’s elephant moles... hehehe so so so cute !

He was pacing back and forth of his large closet, thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

What if they secretly don’t like me? What if they think i’m not good enough for her? What if they don’t give me their approval?

Just at the thought of disapproval, Jungkook sweat even more. His hands were becoming more and more clammy.

You and Jungkook have been dating for 3 years now and Jungkook had already made up his mind: he was ready to marry you. It’s not like he wasn’t ready before (in fact, he had already been seriously thinking about marrying you since the first year you guys started dating), but both of your busy schedules never allowed him to sit down and plan everything. And despite his hectic idol life, he knew that he was more ready to marry you now than he’ll ever be. He was committed to you. He loved you. And because he loved you, he needed to confront your parents first.

You guys had talked about marriage before but it was always in a lighthearted way-- not anything serious... at least in your eyes. Jungkook recalled a memory of your second anniversary when you walked along the Han River, holding hands, as you talked about your future together. He was trying to subtly get your insight about marriage and was trying to ask you questions in a “hypothetical manner” so that you wouldn’t think that he was being serious... and it worked... you had no clue.... and Jungkook got exactly what he wanted.

“(y/n)ah... how would you like to get proposed to?”

Jungkook was trying his best to be subtle... he didn’t want you to get freaked out and think that he was going to propose to you anytime soon.

“Ahaha well... when I was really little, I always imagined my proposal to be reallyyy romantic... and private. I don’t think I’d want to be proposed to in front of a crowd... I’d feel to pressured and I think I would be too embarrassed to appreciate the moment...” Note taken.

“And I mean... this is really cheesy but 10 year old (y/n) always dreamed of being proposed to on top of the Eiffel Tower during the nighttime... with a beautiful view of Paris in the background. I’d be staring off into the distance, enjoying the view... and when I turn around, I’d see him on one knee with a sparkling diamond ring in his palm, but at the same time... 10 year old (y/n) never thought about things realistically so I don’t think that would ever happen...” you rambled on by yourself while Jungkook admired your words.

“But now that I’m older, I’ve set more realistic expectations... like a complete surprise with bouquet of the prettiest pink and white flowers and some wine... hehehe... I know... my expectations have totally downgraded... but hey, it’s still pretty romantic.” At this point, you didn’t even care if Jungkook was paying attention or not... you were just having fun fantasizing about your imaginative proposal.

“But before any of that happens, he has to get my parents’ approval first. They’re so important to me and I love them so much... if he didn’t ask them for permission first and I found out... I would feel like I betrayed them,” you said in a more serious tone. Second note taken.

“But anyways... these are all hypotheticals anyways,” you said, trying to shift your focus away from the topic of proposals.

Jungkook listened intently and made sure to keep all of this information stored in his brain... he knew that it would be useful later...

And now that Jungkook was one step closer to asking you to marry him, he was beginning to recall of those memories again. He knew he had to ask you parents... he knew how important their approval was to you... and he especially didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable if he didn’t ask them for permission.

They’ll like me, right?

Jungkook has met them several times before, but for some reason... he was feeling more insecure with himself today. He had no idea what they would say and he didn’t want to mess anything up since he knew his heart would rot away if he didn’t marry you. You were too important to him. He’d never loved anyone more than you.

Jungkook continued to pace back and forth inside of his closet... trying to formulate the perfect outfit. He didn’t want to look too formal... so no tuxedo. But he also didn’t want to look too informal... they would think that he didn’t view this as important... so no jeans. After what seemed to be half an hour of concentrating on his outfit, he finally decided on wearing his dress pants with a loose white button up shirt. He sprayed his lightest-smelling cologne and touched up his hair so that it didn’t look like he just woke up.

5:00pm. It was time. Jungkook told your parents that he would be at their house by 6:00pm and have dinner with them. His hands couldn’t have been clammier than they already were.

He stared at this reflection in the full body mirror one last time to see if he had any imperfections, and when he couldn’t detect any, he went to his shoe rack to put on his cleanest shoes. Jungkook grabbed his keys and a bottle of water... he’d be needing it if he started to get sweaty and nervous again.

He let out one big sigh that had been building up since his nerves began, and headed out the door. Finally. The day has come. I’m one step closer to my goal. My future.

It took Jungkook 30 minutes to arrive at your parents’ house and another 20 minutes to get the courage to walk up to their door. This was the most anxious he had already felt.

He had already asked his members for their advice about a week ago when he first told them that he had bought a ring and that he was going to marry you... at least he hoped he would... he wouldn’t know until after this day was over.

“You’re gonna be fine Jungkook... they love you... they’re gonna say ‘yes,’” Namjoon said.

“Yeah Jungkook... you’re gonna be okay,” Jimin chimed in.

“Aww our maknae is all grown up... he’s getting married~” Jhope said.

Despite their reassurance, Jungkook was still doubtful. He didn’t know what to expect from your parents. Who knows? What if they never liked him from the start and they were just being nice to him without ever expecting him to marry you. They did always seem skeptical about his career... he had a feeling that they though that being an idol as someone’s main career was unstable and risky. Because he was an idol, he always thought they thought of him as incapable and not good enough for you. Maybe he was just being paranoid.

Jungkook closed his eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. He reopened his eyes. This was it. He had nothing to lose.

Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong.

Within a matter of seconds, your mom opened the door and welcomed Jungkook with a hearty smile. He bowed instantly and began to take off his shoes before entering the house. He always loved your mom... she reminded him of you...

“Oh Jungkook! You came! We haven’t seen you in such a long time~ come in, come in,” she said as she ushered him in.

“Wahhh~ Jungkook~ how did you get more handsome from the last time I saw you! I watched your new music video by the way! Bangtan, fighting!” she said merrily as she laughed by herself. Even her laugh reminded him of you...

Jungkook received the compliment your mother gave him and he took a seat on the sofa... he shook his legs as he waited for you father to appear. He never knew what your father thought of him... he was very protective of his one and only daughter...Jungkook was intimidated from the very beginning. 

“HONEY!!! JUNGKOOK’S HERE! COME DOWNSTAIRS~” Your mom yelled so that your father was notified that Jungkook was here. 

Phew... deep breaths Jungkook, deep breaths... In. Out. 

His palms were sweating profusely. He wiped the sweat on his pants. 

Jungkook could hear your father walking towards him from the hallway of the small home. Jungkook prepared himself for the worst and stood up to greet the man who would soon determine the course of his life with a simple “yes” or “no.” 

“Nae~ annyeonghaseyo~” Jungkook gave him his 90 degree bow. 

“Oh~ Jungkook~ nice to see you,” your father greeted him when he saw Jungkook.

“Come sit... you said you wanted to talk to us about something,” he said as he walked with your mother to his seat in the living room. 

You rmother placed a bowl of fruit on the glass coffee table that was in front of the seats and Jungkook took a seat across from them. He wanted to seem as formal as possible... their approval was the only thing he needed right now...

“Yes, um...” Jungkook was fidgeting with his thumbs underneath the coffee table. “Um... well, I’ve been with your daughter for quite a long time...” He couldn’t believe he was doing this right now. 

Your father put down his fork on top of his napkin and leaned back against his chair to concentrate on Jungkook’s words. He scrunched his nose in concentration and Jungkook didn’t know whether he was disliking his statement or not... well... there was no turning back now... 

“And I love her very much... So much to the point where I’ve decided that I want to marry her... but I know how much you both mean to her so I came to ask for your permission for her hand in marriage.” Jungkook’s heart had never beat as fast as it had at that moment.

Your father and mother looked at each other and Jungkook’s couldn’t tell whether they were upset or excited... he needed to know... his heart was about to burst open... and the silence wasn’t helping either. 

Please, please, please, please, please... 

Your  father looked into Jungkook’s eyes and saw pure desperation and nervousness. He knew that Jungkook loved you. If he didn’t love you... he wouldn’t look this desperate or worried... he knew that he was meant for you. He had seen it before... He saw when Jungkook hugged you from behind when you were feeling stressed about the project that your boss told you to finish earlier than the due date. He saw when Jungkook kissed your knee when you fell over and scraped it because you were wearing high heels. He saw when Jungkook would let you rest your head on his shoulder as you slowly drifted off into sleep. He saw when Jungkook stared deeply into your eyes and whispered “I love you” to your ear when you were fast asleep. 

He saw all of this from a distance and he knew that Jungkook treated you like an angel. He knew that Jungkook loved you. He knew that he couldn’t ask for a better son-in-law.

Although your father never seemed to give any reactions towards Jungkook, he only did that to see if Jungkook would still want to be with you after seeing how emotionless he could be. And indeed, Jungkook had enough courage to still want to be with you. 

“Jungkook...” your father looked at your mother as she gave him a small nod. “Of course... you have our full permission. Treat her well. She’s too precious to let go. We know how much you love her. And we also know how much she loves you...” 

Jungkook lifted his eyes and didn’t know how to contain his happiness. 

Did I hear that right? They gave me permission...

“I’m looking forward to the wedding, son,” your father said as he smiled. 

“Yes sir... I promise,” Jungkook said firmly and smiled in glee. He couldn’t believe it. He got their permission-- what he wanted most in life. He was ecstatic. 

“Do you have the ring with you?” your mother asked, curious to see what kind of ring he bought for you. 

“Yes, I do, actually.” Jungkook reached into the front pocket on his pants and reached in to get the diamond ring that he bought a month ago from the most expensive jeweler that he could book. 

“Oh my goodness~ look at the size of that diamond! (y/n)’s gonna love that,” your mom said as she continued to stare at the ring. 

Jungkook had spent a pretty penny on the ring but he did not feel even the tiniest bit of regret... you deserved it and he loved you too much... he felt the urge to spoil you. 

"I wish (y/n)’s father would have gotten me a ring like this~” your mother teased. “Why don’t you take a look at Jungkook and learn how to be more romantic for you wife,” your mother said as she shifted her attention towards your father. 

“Hey! Your ring was just as nice as this... it was very expensive, you know that?” your father responded.

Jungkook couldn’t help but smile and laugh at their playful banter. He wanted you two to be like your parents in the future... loving, even after years and years of marriage. 

“Okay well if that’s all settled then, let’s go eat... the food’s getting cold,” your mother said. 

Everyone stood up from their seats and headed towards the dining table... I still can’t believe this is real... I’m gonna ask (y/n) to marry me. 

[artofaboythatoncewas]

Devilish Deals 3

Libra: Offered cool-ass, hellfire bullets. On my route to work, there’s several things I always remark a subtle difference of change in whenever I pass them by: The color of this single window that portrays a lovely dining room scene, the angle the traffic lights hang at, and the name engraved on a rather fancy mausoleum to long-dead celebrity. I can’t tell if I was endowed with a foresight to detect the incredibly subtle, or if it’s an involved process like deciphering anagrams. Regardless, certain messages have been changing to be something that corresponded with recent events within my life. Two years ago, a supply that was supposed to arrive at six in the afternoon was late by another six hours: I checked outside the coordinates they gave me, and I ran only to find out that the site was abandoned. The truck was still there, but it was torn nearly in two and the books were gone. Witnesses had nothing to say before casting their attention to darker corners, alluding that something had happened here that they didn’t want to tell me. [,] The morning after, I passed by that window and it was tinted an irradiated yellow that reflected just enough sunlight for you to avoid seeing what’s behind it. Then, I passed by the traffic lights and they hung at an unusual angle that was 30° facing north from where they’re positioned normally: Not only this, the second light was duller and quite hard to make out. Finally, the mausoleum located in the bottom-right corner of the local cemetery said that it was honoring Yisrael Katz, who — last time I checked — was still alive somewhat. I was passing by the first two attempting to avoid how they were calling to me until I got to the last sign: At that point, I had to ask someone. So, I got off my horse and approached a gravedigger in the cemetery… But he refused to look towards me and instead to arbitrary corners: Indicating that someone was there I couldn’t sense. Suddenly, I was back on my horse towards my workplace as usual. […] Later I was approached by crossing guards who took their duty very seriously, though the ones that stopped me didn’t wear brightly colored vests and actively carried military weaponry. That was something that wasn’t out of the ordinary, so I forgot all about the paranormal disturbances from earlier and I continued on with my day… that was until today where the crossing guards weren’t carrying assault rifles. [,] «Cool, that’s… actually quite interesting. Spare me another story will you?» Heh, and here I was expecting the same old sarcasm from you.

Cancer: In a bus. It was a cold, drowsy morning: One that told you God listened to too much loud music and it started giving him early symptoms of tinnitus. Here, we zoom into a quiet corner of the Patagonian landscape into a somewhat isolated townscape that’s aching with the fog that surrounds it: Even the dry plateaus felt misty this morning. In the center of this village, the statue of Blessed Whoever stood as unquestionably incompetently as you’d expect, decorated with the linings of bird defecation. From its mighty stone finger pointing eastward, there could be seen a low-end shopping center that served as the fourth quadrant that made up the village square. All was quaint except for two villagers having a troublesome argument near the fountain. There’s nothing else for us to do here as eavesdroppers from inside the walls, — the one they just so happened to lean on when they began to fuss — so we’ll take whatever information we can receive from the outside. [,] Peer into a life you were never meant to understand and ask yourself questions: Why are they arguing? Are the typical, emotionally logical reasons why it’s occurring, or is it strange, esoteric reasons? What’s the tone of voice being used by each party? Are they pious people or secular snakes? Is it about the, uh, family business? […] We’ve been eavesdropping for so long that the sun has turned a noticeable fifteen degrees in the sky. And for as much as the sun had turned, the conversation had turned for the worse. Both of the voices were becoming louder and more parched as the subject matter shifted from academic performance to finances. Each party is becoming more thoroughly stubborn in their assessments. It seems that it’s in our interests that no compromise is reached if we’re continued to lay near this building and pretend we’re only homeless in the moment. You lived long enough to know that getting too far up one’s own ass is a very real thing, and you’re aware of the epiphanic powers that one’s inner self holds in how the reconsiderations never leave the space where the self feels trapped oftentimes by their own causation. We’ve spent long enough invading privacy; let’s leave, Kokin: We’ve done enough amoral narration for now. […] Oh, I meant this literally; I have no idea why you thought I was talking about arrogance when I mentioned shoving one’s head up their own ass.

Virgo: By dancing for them. Like the band Paramore (whose recent work was pretty good; I don’t know why so many think it’s lackluster just because it’s not traditionally punk), we must complete an arbitrary number of world-records to the tune of a new power-pop track. <Bluma turns toward the crowd of unamused city-folk gathered around her rather dignified soapbox.> I see you must’ve all come here for a reason, and we mustn’t disappoint. <A small coughing can be heard in the back of the crowd, and another person reacts with disgust over the cougher not covering their mouth with their shoulder.> Before we perform, we must list all of the feasible, previously uncontested world records that we’ll attempt to perform today. Refer to the whiteboard above me, read it, and understand the potential records as its followed so you don’t become confused during the process. <The whiteboard is shown, and all the records are written in a dried, green marker that makes the text hard to read.> [,] For those who still can’t grasp it, I’ll read them out: 1. The highest stacking of Starbursts. 2. The fastest time to teach a child how to comprehend Baudrillardian thought. 3. The farthest-reaching skipping stone. 4. The most amount of ding-dong-ditches in the span of six hours. 5… <Those of the audience who wanted to see some action left as they became bored through the persistent listing, adding to Bluma’s plan.> [,] Now, those of you with the proper faith left to trust us, we’ll be performing in T-minus sixty seconds. I’m Bluma, and this is my band: Gamerghazi. «Wait, was this supposed to be a concert? I thought it was just a demonstration.» <Bluma drops down from her soapbox and kicks it into the crowd, indirectly hitting the one who asked that question.> Well, actually, it’s not really a musical band: It’s an unclear organization of people that doesn’t fit into any neat category, so I just call it a band for simplicity’s sake. I named it Gamerghazi after an existing indie band from Canada. <The questioner, now on the ground, responds> «Oh okay, that’s neat.» […] <While in the midst of completing the second record, Bluma triggers a supernatural event> In that moment of silence that broke everything — and broke more world records for me than any of those Guinness books I stole in my childhood — I felt like I was in a space of reality completely tailored towards who I’ve become to be over this quarter of a lifetime. There was a serenity that I somehow knew wasn’t meant to be there, and had to come at the cost of removing the presence of others to restore a sense of balance. It’s as if all of those years of listening to the powerful anthems of contemporary pop music — that which was calling for world domination via style alone — made all the sense in the world to me. <Bluma awakes to find out that she’s been accused of faking the first record by using non-traditional flavors of Starburst.>

Sagittarius: For some job experience. I forgot what time this took place… It seems to have shifted so much, and I feel like someone can live on the same planet that I do but be a hundred years ahead in terms of how quickly than can coordinate action. There’s someone out there who’s an exact pinpoint reflection of myself and the path of life I’m tracing out, and that almost everything about them is identical to myself, yet having such varying differences in how they merely comprehend knowledge. They’re probably some sorta silicone-based lifeform, and they probably have a civilization that chose to etch its language into a more insane physical material through a process I can’t even begin to imagine… Might be that they live in a solar system the same as ours, only that they inhabit a slightly modified version in which Venus became the most hospitable place for life. They likely would’ve inhabited Ishtar and had a funny accent compared to those on the island of Tellus, but they’re too self-conscious to admit they have their own funny way of pronouncing Lakshmi words. «Let me guess, you’re projecting your desire for exploration on fictional worlds again, aren’t you?» <The atmosphere of the scene is settled in with the intrusion of Swayo’s words make their case. The exposed comfort of the campfire lights the entire scene, and Rossouw lowers their flask of gin. It was a far call from the nakedness of the AC back at home-base: Something that she had to finally accept as her new home and pass on by as if she’s never had a concept of stable living.> I feel like too much time has passed between your friendly intrusion and my monologue, but please, sit down and gaze further with me. [,] It’s not often that I engage in these; I generally despise sit-downs that I didn’t form myself because I’m paranoid that they’re gonna attempt to redirect me rather then the preferred: That I redirect them. But, I’ll make an exception for you because you broke my focus, and that warrants the punishment of getting to know me. «Uh, I just wanted to ask about your shirt.» Then why the comments from earlier? I was gonna make this at least somewhat heartfelt and now you’re just proving my point that any glimpse of peace I can have is just ripped away by people who didn’t even mean it, God. <The fire begins to die and the gin in Rossouw’s bottle begins to reach its last drops. The wind that feels like an AC returns at the small sense of comfort she had began to dissipate into usual expectations. It was a close call to the nakedness of the AC back at home-base.> [,] I’m gonna pretend you didn’t interrupt me...  You’ve seen it on the news, and you’ve heard it in stories of abduction, sometimes we’re just granted with biological technology around us that grants us something that pushes us “ahead” in certain areas. «Where did you get that shirt, though?» I feel like too much time has passed… in general. I hope my otherworldly self has a home.

[hey-hey-chan]

Unexpected Beginnings - Jisung

 Ummm,, Idk what I wrote but i just got some inspo.. yeah :)

“Y/n, do you wanna come out with me? I’m going to buy some groceries.”

“Mom, I’m fine. Just go.” I heard her stand still at the door and I knew she was silently hoping I would change my mind. 

The sounds of the soft wind hit my windowsill and the leaves piled up on the edges. 

“Really? We can get some hot chocolate-”

“Mom, please, it’s fine. I wanna stay home.” I wished to tell her in a soft, kinder way, but I felt my tone come out as rough and angry. I felt my heart pound faster with fear, anger, and regret. 

I couldn’t watch her face as she left, losing one of her many battles with me that she fought daily.

The door shut softly, making me feel even more childish at my outburst. I was left alone in the house, meaning I could move freely and finally feel like I could breathe again. 

I plugged in my earbuds, blocking out the loud rustle of the trees covering my window.

I loved and hated this feeling. 

This feeling of being completely and utterly alone. 

On one hand, I love being able to do anything I want, I love being able to dance and sing without anyone hearing me, I love to talk to myself as loudly as I can, be able to cry as loudly as I can. 

But also I hated this feeling. 

The feeling of complete fear of my abilities. Of what I could do to myself, alone in my house. The fear of how angry I could feel at myself. The anger of people constantly leaving me. 

Yet, I preferred this over being surrounded by people, preferred this over to seeing hundreds of new people a day. 

My family thought I was weird.

I talked, joked, thrived in social settings at school. I had many friends, I never stood alone in a lunchroom or at a school dance.

Yet they never understood why I felt so alone, why I felt so mad at everything all the time. Why I slowly pulled away from my friends that loved me. Why I felt so alone now. 

And to be honest, I had no answer to that either. 

I took out my earbuds to adjust the cord that was tangled around, the wire had to be separate and none could overlap each other. It made my mind freak out when anything on my desk sat on top of each other, each cord spiral had to be complete straight. 

Then, I heard an unfamiliar noise outside my window. My curiosity and concern got the best of me so I poked my head closer to the window.

I saw a large white truck staring back at me; I crinkled my brows together, wondering what such a vehicle would be doing here. 

Suddenly, I heard more noises making my heart jolt in fear. It sounded like a girl and a boy laughing from outside. I slowly raised my head and saw a family of four walking out from a separate car. There was a mom and a dad along with a boy and a girl. 

“Finally we’re here! That only took like a gajillion years!” The young boy yelled. He walked over to the large truck and started to pull things out of it.

A new family? No one’s moved here in years. Actually I’ve never seen someone move here, ever. 

Ignoring the anxiety creeping in my heart at the thought of new interactions, I slowly closed my blinds once again and walked back to my laptop. 

Then as I was distracted by my music, I felt my phone buzz. 

Will be home a lil late, my friend got a flat tire and wants me to stay with her. r be ok? -Mom

I’ll be fine, there’s still some pasta in the fridge.

:) ok go to bed early - Mom

I felt my heart dance happily at the thought of having the fort to myself for a few more hours.

Ding Dong.

I heard the unfamiliar sound of my doorbell ring across my house, making my heart clench at the feeling. 

I set down my earbuds, but then paused in my chair. If I don’t answer the door, maybe they’ll think no one is home.

“Hey, I know you’re home! I saw you close your blinds!” Dammit. 

I quickly made my way to the door, but before that, spilled the laundry on the ground to make me look like I was preoccupied. 

I mustered up my courage, trying to remember how to interact with people, and then flung open the door. 

The boy who stood in front of me was about my height, not shorter, but not that much taller. He had almondy, yet slightly lavender hair, which made me wonder what compelled him to do that. Despite all his handsome features sticking out, his casual smirk drew me to that conclusion.

“Um, hi, sorry I was doing the laundry.” I lied. He nodded, nonchalantly sticking his hands in his pockets. I studied his movements and came to the conclusion that I would do anything to be as casual as this guy. 

“Oh sorry, I’m a bit much at first, but I’m sure you’ll get used to me.” Before I could respond to that, he stuck out his hand “I’m Han Jisung. You can just call me Jisung. I just moved here from Mongolia and my parents are making me greet everyone.” 

I nodded awkwardly and shook his hand, hating every single minute of the physical contact. 

“I’m y/n. And I’ve lived here my whole life.” He abruptly shook with laughter, making me feel like I said something funny, even though I don’t think I did.

“You’re funny, y/n. Well, I have to get back to moving, see you around?” I knew I wouldn’t, but I nodded nonetheless. He smiled and waved. 

“Ok then, bye!” I waved back and slowly shut the door, secretly hoping the boy wouldn’t come back. 

He came back the next morning. 

“Hey! Y/n!” I froze in my 3 steps of walking out of the door. I slowly held my uneasiness as I saw the boy in a dark brown V-neck and jeans with a large backpack on his back. 

“Hey Jisung, you go to Seoul High too?” He nodded and smiled. 

“Yup, I’m a senior. You?” I gave him a slight grin while trying not to trip on my way to the bus stop. 

“Junior.” I answered. He nodded. 

“Cool, but by the way, the bus stop is the other way, shouldn’t we take that to get to school?” I faltered in my steps at his words. 

“Um, I walk to school.” I answered lamely. He gave me a confused smile.

“Ok, but why walk when you can just take the bus?” I held my normal facade and shrugged.

“I just like walking, it’s a beautiful morning.” I noted. I wasn’t lying completely, the sun was shining despite the cold chill of the morning air.

“Ok, but what do you do when it rains?” I gave him a small chuckle.

“It’s only a 15 minute walk.”

“But it’s like a 3 minute bus ride.” I shrugged once more.

“I like walking.”

It was a painful 15 minute walk, but only painful for me. Jisung kept blabbing and talking about his life and himself as we walked, which made it much easier for me to respond with few words, hoping I would bore him. 

“What classes do you have?” The boy pulled a crinkled paper from his pocket and straightened it out while also dumping it into my hands. 

“I have no idea, look for yourself.” I gave him a dramatic look and he laughed. I scanned the paper and raised a brow.

“We have first, fourth and fifth together.” I stated blandly. 

“YAY! THAT MEANS I ALREADY HAVE A FRIEND IN 3 OF MY CLASSES!” He practically screamed his words in the courtyard, making many students pan over to look at us. 

I sighed and faked a smile.

“Yup, how lucky. Now, let’s go before we’re late.” I noted. He trailed after me, making the girls and boys wonder what was my association with him.

“You know, I was a bit nervous moving to a new school, but you make it a lot easier. Thanks y/n.” Unnaturally, my heart skipped at the beat at those words, making me blush and also feel guilty at wanting to rid of him.

“No problem dude. You’re gonna fit in fine.” And this time, I wasn’t lying. 

“Hey, who’s the new kid?” I turned around to face Sooyoung, a girl I hadn’t talked to in forever. 

“Oh, he’s my neighbor. Just moved here from Mongolia.” She made an “o” with her mouth and nodded. “Is he single?” I chuckled at her words and shrugged.

“No idea, why don’t you ask him yourself? He’s friendly enough.” She scoffed and shook her head like I was crazy.

“No way! Then he’ll think I like him.” I rolled my eyes.

“Well aren’t you?” She said nothing and I turned back around to face the front of the room, feeling smug at my accomplishment. 

I looked around to see Jisung and saw him already talking to the most popular group of kids in school. I rolled my eyes internally but yet was somewhat thankful he wasn’t going to bother me anymore.

Yet I couldn’t deny there was some sadness that he wouldn’t bother me.

“Ok class, so, I’m sure you all know that we have a new student. Please introduce yourself.” Jisung stood proudly at the front of the class and smiled.

“Hi, I’m Han Jisung. I just moved here from Mongolia and I’m a senior.” The class clapped for him, despite never doing that for anyone else before. 

“Good, now, take a seat next to y/n. Y/n please-”

“Oh no, I know who she is.” Jisung winked at me, turning my face red, and then my face turned much redder once the entire class turned to face me. 

This was going to be a long rest of the school year.

Finally, it was the end of the school day. I felt unsure whether to wait for Jisung or to leave on my own. I didn’t know if he had any plans or if he wanted me to stay behind. 

Ugh, I hate changing my routine. Now I’m going to get home later, maybe around 3:30 so I’ll have less time for homework and to listen to music. Maybe I’ll just finish all my math today and leave my-

“Y/n!” I heard Jisung yell with a group of boys behind him. I froze at his voice and the amount of people. “Don’t wait up for me, I’m going out ok?” I slowly nodded and gave him a thumbs up when I snapped out of it. He smiled and nodded, the other boys curiously glancing at me.

And once again, I turned around to walk home, alone. 

That was the first 2 days I met Han Jisung. 

That was 2 months ago and yet the boy still pops up uninvited, making me freak out every single time, although, I’ve gotten somewhat used to it. He usually pops in on Mondays or Thursdays; I’ve always thought those days were odd. But I’ve grown accustomed to them. 

That’s why when he knocked on my door on a Friday night, I was highly confused. 

“Hey y/n!” Differing from his casual clothes, he was wearing a black V-neck and tight jeans, making him look more attractive than usual. His hair was nicely styled and his smile even seemed to glint more dangerously.

“Um, it’s Friday.” I stated. He raised a brow, crossing his arms.

“I mean, yeah, which means there are parties tonight.” I chuckled and shook my head.

“Yeah, that’s true.” He wiggled his eyebrows, making me slightly uncomfortable but I laughed anyways.  

“Ok, do I have to beg you to come to this party with me? It’s supposed to be the one before spring break, aka the best one yet so HAVE to go.” I raised a brow. 

“Um, no.” I even flinched at my response, but he snapped before I could finish my thought. 

“Wow, just a no? Not a no thanks? Not a no thank you? No explanation?” His quick responses make me fall into a silence, unable to respond. My face turned cold and hot and I rubbed my hands on my jeans, hoping to calm me down.

He scoffed and flipped his hair back. 

“Whatever dude. You always seem to turn me down whenever I ask you to hang out or to do anything fun. You know what? I’m done asking you y/n. Have fun being alone.” With those words, he stepped off my porch.

But I couldn’t help but hate myself for feeling more relief than regret. 

I sat in my room, isolated from the world with my earbuds in. I hadn’t seen Jisung in 1 and a half weeks, well, I briefly saw him at school, but he never talked. I felt some sadness at his cut ties, but also I felt better from them. He would never understand me or who I am, it’s better that he left.

“Y/n honey? Me and Mrs. Park are going out to see this dance performance thing and we have an extra ticket because Mrs. Lee couldn’t come. Do you wanna come?” I shook my head.

“No, I’m fine.” I waited to hear her faint footsteps, but I didn’t hear them, making me spin in my chair. 

“Y/n, come on, I dont want to waste 200 dollars. Just come with us, it’ll be fun.” She urged. I felt my heart twist and my face turn hot.

“Mom, I don’t want to go. Just go have fun together.” I responded calmly. She tsked, leaning against my doorframe.

“Well, I would hate to waste 200 dollars.” She added. I ignored the guilt and anger flooding in my body and snapped back.

“I didn’t buy the tickets. I don’t want to go.” I blinked twice and she still wasn’t gone from my room. I then heard a loud sigh.

“Y/n, please don’t fight me on this. All you do is sit at home and listen to music, that’s so boring and I’m pretty sure it’s not good for you. You only go outside to go to school and-”

“At least I go to school.” I noted. She sighed, frustrated at my behavior. 

“Ok, yes you go to school but because you have to. You never go out and have fun like normal kids. Even that boy stopped coming around, let me guess, you turned him down too many times?” I didn’t respond to her immediately, thinking of how upset Jisung looked that night.

“I’m not a normal kid, Mom.” I heard her make an upset noise with her mouth, making me feel even more anxious.

“You’re not but at least make an effort! All the other parents wonder why you weren’t at this party with their kid or why you weren’t at so and so’s house for a hangout or why you don’t go to the big functions in our community! And I don’t have an answer for them, do you have an answer for them?” 

I felt her anger radiating off of her, making me even more upset that I couldn’t go anything about the way I act or how I felt. Tears slowly fell from my eyes at my her disappointment. 

“Stop crying, there’s nothing to cry about.” I started to cry harder at her words, unable to control them now. I heard her say nothing at my tears, probably blaming them on lack of sleep or stress. 

“You know what? Stay here then, I don’t care. Just don’t come to me when you regret it later. Also, don’t forget we have that community service event tonight, be ready by 6pm.” She turned away angrily, not even closing the door like she usually does, making me even more frustrated at myself. 

I jumped as the door slammed shut. I didn’t hear the familiar buzz of the lock, meaning she left it unlocked. I shook with anger at myself and at my mom. I stood to go lock the door and then turned to enter my own room, but not before I heard a knock on the door. 

I knew that knock, it was the same one Jisung used. I felt myself cry harder, trying to will myself to stop, but it wasn’t working. Instead of answering the door, I carried myself to the bedroom and tried to turn on my music.

“Y/n! I know you’re in here please, I just want to talk to you!” He yelled impatiently. I ignored the sound and instead just plugged my music in, forgetting about the outside world momentarily, yet I couldn’t ignore that Jisung was outside my house. 

Forget about it, he can just go home, he’s literally 2 steps away. 

After one song, I felt curiosity get the best of me. I made my way downstairs and opened the door slightly, expecting to be staring at my doormat, but instead I was staring at Han Jisung. 

“Y/n-” He paused when he saw my face that was probably puffy and red. I instinctively closed the door on him but I heard shouting soon follow. “Y/n, what is the matter? Please? I swear I’m not mad anymore, just let me in please.” 

I felt more tears drop down my soft cheeks; I didn’t want to let him in, but also I was done hiding my emotions from people.

I sighed and opened the door again.

I was immediately greeted with a big hug; I instinctively flinched away but he shut the door, making me nervous as it wasn’t locked. 

“Lock the door.” I stated quickly. He backed away and raised a brow. 

“Well, I didn’t come to do that y/n-” I sighed and wiped my tears as I reached over him to lock my door. 

“It’s not that, I’m just... paranoid.” I said awkwardly. He paused slightly but said nothing to my statement. Kids hate it when I lock doors, I guess it makes them feel locked in while it makes me feel safe. 

We stood in silence for a few moments, unable to move or to speak.

“Are you ok?” He asked. The question caught me off guard. Was I ok? I mean, I wasn’t hurting, I wasn’t dying, I was breathing, I was alive. I was getting good grades, I had an ok life. But did that mean I was ok? 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Now please leave.” He chuckled and ruffled his hair.

“You’re crazy if you think I’m going to leave you alone when you’re crying and I saw your mom run out of the house like she was going to blaze down the whole city.” His words were light but his tone was full of concern which brought more tears to my eyes. “Hey tell me what’s wrong.” He pinched his eyebrows together, peering closely at my face. 

“Nothing’s wrong with my mom. There’s only something wrong with me.” I blurt. Before he could respond, I did first. “Well, she just doesn’t like it when I stay home all the time, I guess that’s something you two have in common.” I added with a lack of bitterness in my voice. 

I slowly backed away from him, feeling the close proximity was too much for me. I heard him sigh and shake his head.

“Ok, but I mean, I guess then I get why she wants you to go out and have fun like a normal kid but-” I shook my head in frustration and groaned.

“You know what? You’re right. If that’s what you came here to say, you can leave please.” I whispered out. I felt overwhelmed at the situation and turned to walk away from him. 

“Hey, that’s not what I meant-”

“No! It’s fine, what you said is right! I should go out more, interact more with more peers and whatnot. This was stupid. You can just go I’ll be fine.” 

I wished for him to walk out of my door, yet he stayed still. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. I shrugged, hoping minimal responses would urge him to go. “But y/n, you know she’s right. I just moved here and I can tell you don’t have friends you hang with outside of school. I’m not saying this to be mean or anything but, it’s just not normal. I’m just worried about you.”

“Is there anyone you can like, talk to?” Somehow, I started to laugh at his words. 

“Really? You’re going to ask me that when you also walked away?” I groaned in frustration, feeling upset that I was letting my feelings get in the way.

“You know what? Just leave please, I don’t want you here anymore.” 

“No please, ok fine, you’re right? Is that what you want to here? That you can just stay in your house all day? That it’s ok?” I shook my head and felt tears well up again. 

“I’m trying to tell you that there’s something wrong with me and you should just stay away from me. You’ve been doing that fine for 2 weeks.” I turned away from him. “But it’s fine, I’m seriously fine with people leaving me, I’m used to it.” 

“You know what? You don’t even make an effort to go out with your mom or other people! And then you get mad when they leave you? That’s absurd! Y/n, you’re a lot different than I thought you were.” 

Finally, the boy turned to leave. He walked slowly towards the door, as if he was still pondering the idea. 

“No one listens.” I blurt suddenly. Jisung stopped in his tracks, and turned to face me.

“What?” I regretted the words as soon as they left my lips, but it was already out.

“No one listens to what I have to say. And no one asks the right questions.” I whispered out. I had no idea why I was spilling my emotions, yet they seemed to flow right out when I talked to Jisung. 

“I listen-” 

“No you don’t.” I said one last time before walking away. I wiped my tears and slowly backed away from the situation. I slowly sat on my bed and kept the door open so I could hear him leave. 

But unexpectedly, I saw him enter my room. I raised a brow as he took a seat on my bed. 

“What are you doing?” I asked. He sighed while making himself comfortable on my bed. 

“You said no one listens to what you have to say, so, I’ve decided not to become a part of no one.” He rested his head against my pillow and closed his eyes. Then he opened one. “Are you gonna start?” 

I paused, thinking of what to say. 

“Are you really gonna listen to me?” He gave me a soft smile responding to my quiet words. 

“Of course. And I’ll be the first person to listen to you. Now tell me what’s on your mind. Make me understand you.” 

For a moment, I wished to take back all the things I yelled at him, I wished that I had a more interesting story to tell, but I guess I’m only in high school. My life is only beginning and so are my newfound relationships.

“Ok where do I start?” I mumbled. 

“Hmmmm,” but then clicked his tongue once he found the answer. “Start with the story of your first boyfriend.” I don’t know what I was expecting him to say, but it wasn’t that. 

“Umm, that’s easy. I haven’t had one yet.” I chuckled. I saw him smile, making me curious what he was thinking.

“What?” He shrugged.

“Nothing, I mean, that’s nice so I can fill that story up.” He turned over smugly on the pillow, but then I processed his words.

“Wait what?”

[snugabugabunny]

I started doing 30 days a little bit ago but I missed some days and then didn't finish because some stuff happened and also, I'm not a 24/7 regressor and I even go chunks of time without regressing and I only use my blog when I am regressed. Soooo I'm just going to answer a bunch of these in a kinda long post!

1. Yes, I sleep with many stuffies actually! I have so many and I put them around me often. I recently got a Mickey and I love his texture!

2. I don't have a cg. I have a lot of chronic health problems so I live at home with my bio mom (who knows I openly enjoy childlike things, but not specifically that I regress). Because I rarely go out, and rarely interact with others even online, I haven't ever had a caregiver. A few years ago a considered asking my (now ex)bf how he felt about it but when I sort of tested the waters about his thoughts on regressors it... didn't go well so I never brought it up again. Also my bio mom does help me with some things, but she does that because of my health issues and not because I'm smol.

3. Aquarium! I like the museum and the zoo a lot too, and also just going to the mall, or target! But the aquarium is my favorite and I miss it!!

4. I don't use a paci, for a few reasons but mostly I don't tend to regress that young. I do have chewelry though! I use that when I'm big also.

5. Blue! I also like red! And green! And sometimes purple!

6. Stuffies! I love blankies too and have a handful of baby blankets, mostly because I am Very sensitive to textures and hate certain ones, but I like a lot of baby ones. I have so many stuffies though. I've loved them all my life and I still buy new ones when I find ones I love.

7. Fall! But I do like spring for how sunny it is, even if I normally stay inside.

8. I like watching movies/YouTube/TV and sometimes playing games (switch, board games, in phone games). I used to really like to color but one of my health problems affects my hands and I usually can't color very much.

9. Coloring better than drawing! When big, I'm kind of an artist, and so it's still hard for that part of my brain to turn off when little. Coloring doesn't matter how it looks but I can be perfectionist about my drawings.

10. It changes! I love love love Little Mermaid! Also Aladdin! And Lion King! When Tangled came out I watched it every day for months. Same with Moana.

11. Donald! At least out of the main crew. I also love Mickey and Goofy. I've always loved Eeyore. And Sully. And Tigger!

12. Probably Ariel + Eric, I love both! I like Belle and Beast too.

13. Octonauts is a top fave. I watch a lot of YouTube and less TV shows though.

14. I really like Fred Jones from Scooby Doo

15. Yes, I have a dog! He's a big white husky and I call him "silly butt" so often he responds to that just as much as his actual name.

16. I've always really loved dragons so probably one of those!

17. Tigers or Sharks!

18. I have many. It depends on the day to which one I snuggle or bring with me around the house. Most of them are baby blankets, one is a star wars blankie, and some are Cloak brand blankets (they're so big and usually silky-soft)

19. Lavender is one of my favorite smells! I also have a pain relief blend with lavender, peppermint, wintergreen, and more that I love! I also just got some candles and oils from Magic Candle Company and their Jungle Cruise scent (I think it's call Jungle Boat) is one of my new favorite smells!

20. I think it was Spiderman! And iron fist! It was a few months ago during a better day

21. Crayons! Sometimes markers and colored pencils!

22. I'm an Aries! But my moon is cancer and rising is aquarius which are both water signs! Which makes me a weird Aries sometimes!

23. Disney stores!!! It's like a little piece of magic! I live pretty far from either park (though Disneyland is my park) and it's nice to visit something like that without having to have a lot of money and travel. But sadly the one that's near me closed as part of a lot of closures Disney did. Now the closest one is at least an hour drive away and I don't like that mall as much. Also I do like build a bear but they don't always have things I actually want, especially cuz each store has different critters. I got Nala the last time I was in a Disney store.

24. Fave games... Hm well I'm deeply attached to Kingdom Hearts (even if I haven't finished the 3rd game). I really love the Dark Pictures Anthology games! They are spooky and werid but I am sometimes a spooky baby.

25. I really love fruit! Applesauce and fruit leathers are easiest for me to get myself, but sometimes my mom will help me with a clementine or cutting up an apple. Sometimes I have pudding, or dry cereal.

26. Juice! All different kinds!

27. Chocolate!!! I had ding-dongs for breakfast the other day when I was regressed early.

28. Lots of stuff and weirdly at the same time very few things. I have some pretty bad social anxiety, and also generalized anxiety. And yet there aren't as many specific things I fear. I really don't like creepy crawlies (spiders and most bugs) but I can deal with them, and when I'm outside I just leave them alone! I'm usually very paranoid about sounds and stuff but that fades when I'm regressed.

29. I'm really bad at finding something "unique" to talk about! I don't feel like I have any random of cool skills. I am also limited by my chronic health conditions and so I don't have exciting or relatable things to talk about very much... How about... I am super nerdy! I have a bunch of fixations that cycle around and they are all like, TV shows or movies or books or genres or games. Ummmm also I just bought my second official Mermaid tailskin. I have a mermaid tail my friends and I made a long time ago, but last year I finally got a monofin and actual professionally made tail! And I just got another tail to go over the same monofin. I don't have anywhere to regularly swim near me :( but I still really wanted a more bright/colorful tail than my first one!

30. This is gonna come off as odd maybe but being in a lot of pain can put me in little space. My chronic pain can fluctuate and sometimes when it's really bad or multiple of my issues are bad at once I involuntarily regress. It helps me stress out less and deal with my pain in a more simple way. And that it's okay if I need to cry. And it helps me get distracted by simple stuff and stop focusing on my pain level.

Thanks for getting to know me if you read this stupid long post! Also thanks if you just liked it because there's a picture of mickey and my dog!

[fandom-blerd-life]

Black Lightning 1.05: How Do You Feel About Latex?

Previously on Black Lightning, we met Tori, the alliterative addition to the Tobias & Tori evil duo, Anissa explored her new powers, and the kids in Freeland got hooked on a brand new drug called Green Light.

Hellooooooo (Mrs. Doubtfire Voice™) and welcome to another recap of Black Lightning! We’re 5 episodes into this season and there are no signs this show is slowing down. In fact, they’re still introducing new and exciting world-building elements that I 100% did not expect! But as usual, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Last week, Black Lightning got to test out some new electric vision and this week, Gambi hooked him up with some flying action! (Well, it’s closer to a hover than a fly, but the guy’s been gone for 9 years, he’s got to ease in.) During a test flight, Black Lightning notices a kid trying to evade police capture. It turns out, he was high on Green Light. I think the more important note about this scene though, is the fact that the officers were prepared to shoot the kid, even though he was unarmed. And Black Lightning--and in turn, the show--calls them on it. Sure, this kid was tweaking worse than me before my morning coffee, but if the officers felt as threatened as they claimed, they could have tased him first. Once again, small moment, HUGE statement being made by this show. Black Lightning subdues the kid with a lightning blast and uh oh, it looks like he’s having some head pain. Surely it’s just a fluke and won’t come up again.

I don’t know what kind of operation Gambi is running here, but while he’s down in the Lightning Lair, his shop is empty AF upstairs. Not an employee in sight! That can’t be good for business. However, that doesn’t deter Tobias and Henchlady (yay! She’s back!) from making their presence known. Tobias and Gambi trade insults and threats about Black Lightning’s identity, but before our villains leave, we find out that Tobias has some kind of anti-aging serum running through his veins. ::record scratch:: Say what, now?? Tobias doesn’t age? How old is he? Where did this serum come from? What kind of side effects does it have? Is it magic? We all know magic ALWAYS comes with a price! I have questions, show! One person who is not giving up any answers though, is Gambi. We’ve seen hints of his shadiness in previous episodes, but it’s clear that Gambi’s hair is filled secrets upon secrets, including some kind of deal between him and Tobias.

Meanwhile, at Pierce Palace, Anissa is deep into research about enhanced abilities. Like many superheroes before her, she turns to Generic Search Engine dot com. She’s basically one step away from an unstoppable WebMD spiral, when Jennifer barges in to borrow one of her sister’s jackets. I love the Pierce Sister banter in this scene soooo much. They give each other shirt like only sisters can. “Are you watching porn?” I mean, come on! The Pierce sisters are very important to me dot tumblr dot com. Anissa gets back to work, and discovers that 30 years ago in Freeland, 9 kids with enhanced abilities just disappeared.

There are a few things in this episode that are just so quintessentially Black and 2 of them happen at the roller rink. I don’t know about you, but the rink was a staple of my childhood. I had and went to countless birthday parties there. Not only that, roller skating has been a staple in the Black community for decades. It has roots in the Civil Rights era when rinks would have nights specifically for Black folks to come and skate to rhythm and soul music. It gave them a place of their own to have a good time and skate to their own music. We got to see a glimpse of that time in this episode, with the addition of smartphones and a good old-fashioned girl fight. While Jennifer is finding her perfect selfie light, two girls come at her after consuming a large amount of Haterade™. They throw several insults Jennifer’s way (including a low blow about Khalil), but Jennifer claps back with the Blackest of insults by calling out Lana’s crusty ash knees. Only on this show will the thing that sets a girl off be someone else saying they’re ashy. Amazing. Just so perfect. Anyway, Lana lunges toward Jennifer who fights BOTH Lana AND her friend without breaking a sweat! Could it be? Could there be three Pierces with abilities??

Back at the drugstore where Anissa threw a grown ash man across 3 aisles, Jefferson overhears a man pleading with the cashier over medicine he purchased for his sick daughter. Jefferson steps in to help and loses his temper when the cashier takes no responsibility for the situation. That pesky headache is back but this time, it comes with glowing eyes. Huh. Maybe this will be a big deal.

Anissa is still in her research rabbit hole, but learns that when those kids disappeared, there were a series of canceled articles that would have revealed a vaccine to be the source of those enhanced abilities. The editor of the Freeland Gazette who nixed the stories was David Poe, and the reporter who broke the stories? None other than Alvin Pierce, Anissa’s grandfather. DUN DUN DUN. Alvin was murdered and his murder was never solved. Anissa is 100% a Murderino and wants to get to the bottom of this.

Jeff hits the streets again as Black Lightning, but this time it’s to check out an address that could lead them to the Green Light supplier. One of my favorite things about this show is how gorgeous the camera work is. There is a shot of Black Lightning in this scene that damn near took my breath away. Clearly, not everyone in Freeland is excited that Black Lightning is back, because he is greeted by a racist white guy wielding a shotgun. This douchenugget threatens to shoot Black Lightning’s “Black ass” because he know he’ll be seen as a hero. Black Lightning doesn’t let that get to him and blasts douchenugget until he finally admits the chemicals at that address are to make Green Light, and the guy in charge of it? Joey Toledo: Tobias’ right-hand man.

Back in the Lightning Lair, Jeff is pissed at Gambi for hiding the fact that Joey Toledo was still around. In the middle of screaming at Gambi, Jefferson just...falls over. Down for the count. I guess maybe he should have paid a liiiiiittle bit closer attention to those headaches! The writers even had him taking headache meds the last two weeks! But Lynn comes to the rescue and after doing a workup on Jeff, determines that there doesn’t seem to be a medical cause for these headaches, but she wonders aloud of it could be Black Lightning. As if on cue, lightning surges through Jefferson’s body, the monitors go crazy, and he wakes up.

It’s been a bit since we’ve checked in with our villains. What are they up to? Well, Tobias is being arrogant AF and Tori is trying to talk some sense into him. Something tells me he shouldn’t be so cavalier about Lady Eve’s power, because later in the episode, we see Tobias open an envelope filled with dust in a wonderful callback to last week. But Tori isn’t all negativity; she’s also got good news. She found Eldridge and it’s flashblack (I meant to type flashback, but this typo is too hilarious to fix so I’m keeping it!) time! We see a young Tori and an exactly the same age Tobias being berated by their father Eldridge. Specifically, Eldridge can barely stand to look at Tobias’ “pale ass.” Now, I’m not saying Tobias’ #DaddyIssues justify his villainous journey, but Eldridge’s behavior toward his children was atrocious. Hey Tobias, might I suggest some therapy? Perhaps in lieu of, I don’t know, straight up murder?? Think about it.

Meanwhile, it’s time for a little Daddy/Daughter, Superhero-to-Superhero quality time! Anissa wants to talk to Jefferson about her grandpa, his father. At first, he’s hesitant to have this conversation and even snaps at her. But he softens, apologizes, and comments that Anissa has a lot of her grandfather in her. That no matter what, Alvin always did the right thing. That must have been exactly what Anissa needed to hear, because she marches right into the Freeland Gazette to meet with Mr. Poe. They have a cordial conversation and Poe speaks fondly of Alvin, until Anissa mentioned those missing kids. Mr. Poe promptly kicks her out of the office and Anissa is left frustrated and confused.

I wasn’t even going to mention this next seen with Black Lightning and Henderson, but Black Lightning referring to the burner phone he gives Henderson as the “Black signal” had me cracking up too hard for me not to call it out.

Back at the Pierces, Lynn is checking on Jeff when DING DONG, they have visitors and OMG IT’S LANA AND OMG DOES LANA HAVE TWO MOMS? These ladies are not pleased about their (?) daughter’s broken wrist, but Lynn and Jeff manage to talk them down and even end up chatting and laughing with them! At least, until Jennifer comes home. Lynn is ready to serve her daughter some punishment and even drops a “You really wanna play with me right now, little girl?” And y’all. When I tell you I got chills. I could HEAR my mom saying that exact same thing to me when I was younger. You can go ahead and add this to yet another thing that makes this show so damn Black. Jeff, on the other hand, can barely contain his pride when he finds out the Jennifer managed to hold off TWO girls without getting hurt herself. That move costs him though, because somehow both he and Jennifer are on the receiving end of a Lynn Verbal Takedown.

Anissa, our Persistent Polly over here, decides to go back to the paper to get some information out of Poe. He knew she would be back because he had pulled a box of files for her. That box came with a warning though. Alvin had tapped into something huge that Poe wanted nothing to do with. Whoever these people are, they’re still watching, and Poe warns that Anissa will get killed if they find out she’s looking into this. 

Tobias and Tori roll up to Eldridge’s place, and Tobias greets him with swift punch to the face. If you were hoping the years had softened Eldridge, well, you would be incorrect. He throws more insults at his children and even expects praise because he stayed when their mother left them. This is such an interesting story choice. There are so many stories where we hear about Black fathers just up and leaving their children, and rarer is the case where the mother leaves. It’s because of that, Eldridge wants credit for sticking around. He’s not like the other fathers. He stayed. What he fails to realize though, is that even though he stayed, the life he gave his children was no life at all. Tobias goes in for a hug, Eldridge takes the bait, and ends up with a broken back. He’s going to die and he’s going to die slowly.

Back at the house, Jefferson joins Jennifer as she watches track. Jenn is frustrated to be on punishment when all she did is defend herself. Jefferson responds with a quote, “The one thing you can’t take away from me, is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me.” He wants his daughter to realize that defending herself is about regulating her emotions and fighting only when necessary. And then, because they’re the cutest things ever, they throw around Star Wars references and they hug and I LOVE THEM OKAY.

While Anissa goes through her research, she comes across a bunch of articles about Tobias, and a key to a storage facility. Obviously this is a chance for her to suit up and test out those new skills of hers but OH NO, she has too much ass for her cosplay suit! LOL listen. I appreciate this so much. Too Much ass is a real thing and should be treated as such. Time for a new suit! Anissa heads to the store armed with a fake name (Monica) and almost as much sass as her stylist. Cut to a fashion show/montage that I watched...an unimportant number of times. (It was a lot. It was many times.)

She goes to the storage facility rocking her new suit, new hair, and a painted on gold mask. I love that the show is taking their time with an “official” reveal of Thunder. We get to see Anissa exploring her powers on her own and she’s even calling herself a superhero! Once she smashes into the storage unit, she finds a mysterious vial in a safe.

Henderson was able to contact one of Joey Toledo’s old girlfriend’s and even though Gambi tries to talk him out of it, Black Lightning goes to find him anyway. It turns out, Joey Toledo is the Tobias’ henchman from last week who used brass knuckles to kill the Medical Examiner! The two fight, but Black Lightning’s headache comes back just in time to give Toledo the upper hand. We end with Black Lightning on the ground struggling to get up. You might even say, that he could use a spark. (Credit to @CloneNic for that one because LOL)

So, what did you think of And Then the Devil Brought the Plague: The Book of Green Light? I know personally, I wish we got to see our girl Grace, BUT we did get our first taste of Jennifer kicking ass! As always, I’d love to hear from you! You can find me @njnic23 on Twitter. And huge thanks to @punkystarshine for all her advice and editing!

[yvocaro]

Time for another Handheld Gaming News article. What stood out to me in the world of casual handheld gaming?

This was the second week of the Olympic Games in PyeongChang. Now I’m not a sporty type in any way. In fact, normally I’m not even interested in watching sports of any kind. And getting active myself doesn’t extend any further then trying to walk 10.000 steps a day and an occasional bike ride. (Remember, the Dutch are a bike riding people!)

But there’s something calming in watching the Olympics while doing other things, a cozy kind of feeling when you know so many people all over the world are watching too.

But let’s get back to games of another kind!

Fantasy Life Online once again delayed

Could be that Level-5 is being picky, or because delivering an ace mobile title for Fantasy Life isn’t easy. But the new game Fantasy Life Online is once again delayed. I mentioned the game a year ago when it was slated for release in April 2017.

Since then, the game entered a beta test towards the end of 2017. After this test, Level-5 announced that they would yet again delay the release of Fantasy Life Online to ensure quality of the game. The developers want to improve Fantasy Life Online visual presentation, as well as the user interface.

Below is a bit of the Beta test gameplay. Looks good already, but better is always great!

Atelier Marie Plus on mobile in Japan

Who can understand the release schedules of game developers? Remember how I mentioned the upcoming Atelier Online for mobile? That one was pushed back: originally announced for the end of 2017, but now we know no more then ” somewhere in 2018″ or so Gust tells us. The reasons are “to expand functionality for a wider range of users to play, strengthen the infrastructure technology, and improve the quality of the overall game”. I don’t even know what that means?

Well, it seems that to keep the fans happy, the first ever Atelier game: Atelier Marie Plus: the Alchemist of Salburg. This game was the first in the series in Japan, released in 1997. And now, it’s reworked to fit on mobile.

It revolves around Marie who starts out known as the student to have the worst grades in Salburg Academy history. While she starts out pretty terribly, she continues to constantly work on improving herself. After countless failures, her instructor Ingrid decides to go with a different approach by allowing her to open her own Atelier to practice alchemy outside of the academy while continuing her studies. Marie has five years to create an item using her own skills, and if satisfactory, she will graduate when the five years are done.

For now, the game is announced for the near future in Japan only.

The Little Dragon Café is announced

Aksys Games announced this week that The Little Dragons Café will be released on the Switch this upcoming summer. Dragons sound interesting to me right away, but what caught my attention was that the game was made by Yasuhiro Wada. And that is the game designer behind Bokujō Monogatari, the game series that was originally Harvest Moon and is now called Story of Seasons! Could potentially be a game to look out for!

Read what we know about the game here. 

Otome sequel Code Realize: Future Blessings for Vita

I didn’t play many Otome, visual romance games, but the one that still stands out to me is how much I enjoyed Code Realize: Guardian of Rebirth. Now the sequel is coming, Code: Realize Future Blessings for the PlayStation Vita on March 30 in 2018. This one continues the original story. But there’s another game coming too on the same date, this time for the PS4: Code: Realize Bouquet of Rainbows. The one for the PS4 is a compilation of the first game and fan-disc epilogue.

Revenue Nintendo mobile games compared

Nintendo’s Fire Emblem Heroes the companies most successful mobile game to date, earning an estimated $295 million in worldwide player spend during its first year ( source: Sensor Tower Store Intelligence data.) This is a lot more then what Super Mario Run managed to bring in, but there’s still a long way to go when you look at giants like Pokémon Go or Clash of Clans.

Clearly, for Animal Crossing Pocket Camp, they are still trying to find the right balance between gameplay and income for the company. AC only brought in a quarter of the income that Fire Emblem garnered in its first two months. 

Yonder: the Cloud Catcher Chronicles still up for pre-order

Still no official word, but I just checked. Amazon.DE still has this interesting sim game up for pre-order for the Switch for the end of May. In the style of Breath of the Wild, this is an open world adventure game with a variety of locations to explore. The ultimate goal is to become the champion of Gemea and save it from an evil murk, which can be done by contributing to the island and taking on tasks such as farming, crafting, cooking, fishing and brewing, and forming relationships with townspeople.

Read a bit more about it here. 

Ni no Kuni II: I want it on the Switch! 

There are times when I’m drawn to contemplating buying a PS4. I know, it’s not a handheld device, and I’m not good at making time for console gaming. So I’d better abandon that idea. But every now and then a game comes along that makes me want it: this time it’s Ni no Kuni II is close to release: March 23!

Ni no Kuni II is in development by Level-5, with participation from former Studio Ghibli animator Yoshiyuki Momose and music from Joe Hisaishi who composed the soundtracks of many Ghibli films. The game follows Evan Pettywhiser Tildrum, the young ruler of Ding Dong Dell who is dethroned by a treacherous coup. In his adventure, he’ll meet new friends in Roland, Tani, Batu, Lofty, and many others that will help Evan build a new kingdom free of strife while uniting the world of Ni no Kuni.

I played one Ni no Kuni game before, on my Japanese 3DS, and loved the art style. (Read my thoughts on that game here)

For now though, I can only hope Ni no Kuni II makes it to the Switch at some point too.

Releasedate for Detective Pikachu 3DS is close

A Pokémon game of another kind: Detective Pikachu has you cracking cases. The game follows a peculiar talking Pikachu who, despite not being as powerful and nimble as other Pikachu of his kind, is rather intelligent and claims to be a great detective. One day, Pikachu encounters a boy named Tim Goodman, who is able to understand what he is saying.

The two begin working together to solve various mysteries revolving around Pokémon in the city. After their first meeting, the two begin to chase two Aipom, one with ketchup on its hand and the other white paint, who were causing trouble by harassing citizens and stealing jewellery. And that’s the start of their sleuthing together.

On March 23 you can start playing the game in Europe and America, and enjoy the benefits of the big Pikachu Amiibo: you can view all the Pika Prompts you’ve seen or might have missed from the chapters you’ve already cleared. The game has 150 short animated movies telling the tale, a nice way to get stoked for the Detective Pikachu movie that is currently filmed in London.

Updates for Animal Crossing Pocket Camp keep coming

Hardly a week goes by that there isn’t an update for Animal Crossing Pocket Camp. Last week we got the ability to change the terrain around your camp. You can do this after you have reached Level 13 in the game. It costs a leg and a bone, so I feel Nintendo has to include more customisation options before I shell out for that, but it’s still a good addition.

Plus, they teased a Fishing Tourney coming to Saltwater Shores. Special new fish will appear just for the tournament to please Chip. He will be happy to gobble them all up!

Nintendo and Bloomingdales team up

Bloomingdales and Nintendo announced that they’re teaming up for the company’s spring campaign which is titled “Let’s Play.” The campaign launches on March 10th.

I checked it out, and although the items look good (I’m referring to the trunks, of course), I am wondering: why no ladies’ clothing items, Bloomingdales??

Well, I guess that’s enough news for this week. This has turned into a huge article! I’m going to go back to finding shrines in Breath of the Wild, and visiting my Pocket Camp daily.

What are you playing this weekend?

Handheld Gaming News week 8 Time for another Handheld Gaming News article. What stood out to me in the world of casual handheld gaming?

[abbyharlow]

I’m writing out of anger and maybe a little bit of sadness. As 2017 is coming to an end, I’m remembering how excited I was at the end of 2016 to have a great new year. For the most part, 2017 has been amazing and has treated me quite well – until it didn’t. The past two-ish months have been an extremely chaotic shit show. I’m willing to give you the low down. Brace yourselves; this is going to be a long one.

As October came to an end and November started, I felt fine. School was kicking my ass, but I’m a good student and I continued to carry on. I was proud of how I had been able to handle all of my stress with my crazy housemates, fat work load and financial issues in a way most people probably wouldn’t be able to. Imagine how fucked up I felt when I started hearing from one of my very best friends that people were expressing concerns about my well being. I have worked for THIRTEEN YEARS to get to where I am today and it felt like all of the hard work that has almost killed me at times was just ripped away from me. Stolen. Two of the girls expressing their concerns had no right to do so because they barely know me. They wanted to call my mom to tell her I needed help…they don’t even know my mom. When I heard this, I told my best friend that if they had done this, my mother would have just laughed and said something along the lines of, “Okay girls, thanks for the call.” I called my mom to tell her this and guess what? She laughed. I think what pissed me off the most about this situation was the fact that these girls are not even my friends and felt the need to go tell someone else about it. If they knew about my past, I would understand. But they know nothing. What hurt the most was I was in the best place I had been to date, and it wasn’t good enough for them, which means it might not have been good enough for anyone.

I told myself not to overthink this situation, but with my amazing mind (sense any sarcasm?), I couldn’t let it go. I was damaged. I felt like I needed to be a better everything but I had nothing to use to do this because I had already used up everything I had to get to my perceived great mental state. What made everything worse was the fact that my best friend who I live with was concerned I wasn’t okay because these other girls were concerned, which burdened me with the task to check on her all the time. She loves me so much that when she worries about me, she worries too much and it effects her mental state negatively. This is turn effects mine negatively as well. I hated that she expressed all of her worries about me to her mom. My best friend in high school also did this, but her mom is the woman who has bullied me since the minute she met me in kindergarten. I believe that I first felt suicidal because of the way this mom treated me for all of elementary, middle and high school. (Fortunately, I did leave this mother’s daughter behind half way through high school. I spent eleven years waiting for her to stand up to her mom for me, and she never did.) My current best friend telling her mom everything about me reminds me of the one person I hate in this world, and all it leaves me with is a brick constantly spinning in my gut.

I think I was able to reassure people I was okay. Unfortunately, this only lightened my stress load for a bit because during this whole disaster, I couldn’t concentrate on school and kept asking for extensions on assignments. I am now facing these assignments over winter break. Who in the hell would want to continue school for an extra four weeks? Thank you to everyone who stressed me the fuck out and made me feel anxious and depressed because you thought I was anxious and depressed when I wasn’t. You suck.

Thanksgiving arrived, and I saw how sick my aunt had become. She was diagnosed with cancer five years ago and fought so, so well to get better. She was not supposed to make it but she pulled through like an absolute champion. The week before the holiday, she was fine. Then her disease hit her out of nowhere like a truck. On December 1st, my aunt lost her battle with cancer. I am still struggling to accept that five of my cousins have lost such a beautiful mom.

One day later, on the night of December 2nd, I broke my ankle in four places. Long story short: I was walking home with my best friend, wanted to ding dong ditch our friend’s house, ran down the front porch stairs, and fell off the last step into a small pothole in the grass. I think it was probably about time something seriously bad happened to my ankle. After hurting it so many times tap dancing for ten years, it was tired of all of the strain.                                                  [This is the morning after the break]

I went to the hospital the next morning, was put in a splint, and was sent on my way. Thankfully, I only had one more week of school. I finished the week out thanks to Sierra giving me rides to and from campus. On Thursday, I came home. On Friday, I went to the doctor’s and was told I needed to have surgery. Okay fine. Then I was told I was not allowed to go to Cabo in a week. Not fine. I cried and was a little bitchy but left accepting the fact there was no way I would be able to fly and spend a week on the beach six days post op.

That Friday afternoon, my family and I left town to go to my Aunt’s funeral and to spend the weekend with my family. It was emotional, sad, happy, overwhelming and fun all at the same time. I am just so glad I was able to be there with all of my cousins, aunts and uncles.

Monday the 11th was surgery day. I went in with my mom and brother at 10:30 am to be ready for operation at 11:30. 11:30 am became 6:30 pm. My surgeon was stuck in another surgery where he said things went from bad, to worse, to disastrous. Thankfully, his patient survived the operation. I am proud of how calm I was during my long wait, but my mom claims the nurses gave me something for my anxiety. I don’t remember being wheeled out of my room and into the operating room but my mom did take a video of me forcefully pushing the door all the way open for my doctor and then waving goodbye with my eyes half open. Surgery was a successful hour and a half long procedure. I was woken up thirty minutes early though because I wasn’t breathing very well. Story of my life. Because I was awake before planned, I was conscious while a doctor was putting a nerve block in my leg. I’m so glad I don’t remember this however. A nerve block is a catheter which drains medicine into my body in order to numb my nerves in the desired area. I think this bad ass mechanism only worked for a day. Post op days three, four and five were excruciating. Yesterday I found out that my splint was digging into one of my incision sites. For the past week it has hurt like a bitch and so the nurses took my splint off and put me in a boot ten days early. Bless their souls. I still can’t walk until the 29th, but as long as my pain isn’t unbearable, I’m cool with it.

Overall, I would highly advise against breaking your ankle and getting surgery because it debilitates you in so many ways and leaves you feeling depressed and bored out of your mind. I am actually tired of laying down, sleeping and watching TV and movies. I can’t drive (which might be good because I therefore cannot go out and make more stupid decisions), but I hate having to rely on other people to help me get places…not that there are many places I want to go to when I can’t walk. I weened myself off of the prescribed hydrocodone I have been taking the past three weeks and finally got over the withdrawal symptoms. This whole experience has really humbled me. I never really stopped to think about how hard life must be for those who can’t use certain parts of their body. I am just thankful I will get to walk again, unlike so many others who will never have the ability to walk again.

Below are some pictures of my ankle surgery and recovery process.

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And I'm not able to get up. I'm writing out of anger and maybe a little bit of sadness. As 2017 is coming to an end, I'm remembering how excited I was at the end of 2016 to have a great new year.

[movieexpert1978]

Furrballs

Day 30 Idol Challenge Christoph Waltz 

anon:  Cutest prompt ever “Hey honey…did you seriously adopt another kitten?” Prompt taken from a Dialogue Prompts post made by @pleasepromptme  

So I changed things up and decided to use Johannes from Weihnachtsmann gesucht because of all the animals present. Enjoy!! 

The dogs barking at the door announced the arrival of Johannes.

“Stop it! Get down!” Johannes pleaded placing his hands up to stop the three dogs from barking. They licked his fingers with their tails wagging as he took his coat and bag off. “Elisa!” He called out. He called out again when he didn’t get an answer. She must have been outside look over the farm animals. He went out the back door with the dogs happily running outside, but staying away from the horse, Curtis. Elisa was looking over the cow they were fostering named Coco for her brown skin.

“Hey!” She waved as she kept brushing the cow.

“How is everyone?” He asked coming up to her.

“Everyone’s good. Curtis is going to his forever home tomorrow. I checked them out, these people have some beautiful land along with a few other horses to keep him company.” She explained.

“That’s wonderful.”

“Buuuuttt…”

“Oh no, what is it now?”

“Ummm…I took in another cat.” She blushed.

“What? We already have four!” Johannes gasped.

“Hey those guys are adopted. The new guy is a kitten that needs to be fostered.” She explained.

“Oh no…not a kitten.” Johannes grumbled with a facepalm.

“Hey! I see you snuggling up to the other cats all the time so don’t give me that!” She argued.

“Oh alright as long as we only foster it.” He nodded. She finished brushing Coco before they went inside. They had met about three years ago. Johannes was divorced from his ex-wife Marion, who went off with another man. He decided to sell his pet shop and moved out of the city and met Elisa by accident. He was driving by her land to get home when something almost ran out in front of his car. He slammed on the breaks and watched as this young woman was chasing after a dog. He parked the car and chased after them to help with a little bit of a bribery in the form of a snack for the pooch who happily came over to him and gave him plenty of kisses.

“Oh thank god.” She gasped grabbing the dog’s collar and attaching a leash to the loop. “Thank you so much. I’m so sorry for the scare back there.” She said still gasping.

“It’s alright. At lease everyone is safe.” He smiled at her.

“I’m Elisa, this is ding dong.” She grumbled pointing to the dog who looked up at her with a smile making Johannes laugh. “Oh alright his name is Steve.” She said patting his head.

“Hello, I’m Johannes.” He said shaking her hand.

“Hopefully my dinner isn’t eaten so if you’d like you are more than welcome to join me.” She suggested. “As long as you don’t like too many animals.”

“I used to own a pet store.”

“Awww, how cute. I’m a veterinarian. I foster a lot of animals and work from home as a lot of pet owners come to me.” She explained.

“Wow that’s lovely. I’d be happy to join you.”

Three years later, Johannes was a secretary at the clinic that hired Elisa and they were still fostering and rehabilitating animals for forever homes. They went inside and Johannes finally caught whiff of the soup she had been making all day. It smelled very warm and inviting as she closed the door behind the returning dogs. He looked around the furry faces and finally found the new comer. He picked up the little black kitten who meowed at him as it stared at him with golden eyes.

“Her name is Velvet.” Elisa said as she made a bowl for him.

“Hi Velvet.” Johannes smiled as he curled the kitten up in his arms. He kept smiling as the kitten started purring and he felt the other cats rub across his legs. She got the bowls on the table and glared at the animals who looked up at her.

“Go lay down!” She ordered, pointing away. The dogs immediately went to the living room where they did lay down. The cats just looked at her curiously before going their separate ways. Johannes put the kitten down before he sat down to eat. “How’s the clinic?”

“Busy, but everyone’s doing very well. It’s all just appointments for shots.” He explained.

“Yes, that’s good.” She nodded. They ate in silence for a few moments before they started speaking again.

“The soup is wonderful.” He complimented.

“Thank you. I made a full pot so if you want take some to work tomorrow.” She said before she yawned. “Ouch!” She laughed as she looked at her leg to see Velvet climbing up into her lap. She sniffed her bowl before curling up on her lap and falling asleep.

“I think she likes you.” He teased.

Xxxxxxxx

The summer months had faded into fall and the house was a bit quieter now. They only had one dog which was a German Shepard named Kaiser, who’s adoption would be happening next week. Coco and Curtis were gone now, leaving her barn empty for the moment. Johannes looked around the living room and Velvet was snuggled up next to Kaiser. The cats were used to all the dogs, but he figured they were grateful for the small crowd now. Elisa was typing away to answer some emails as they had the TV on.

“Oh darling?” Johannes called out playfully.

“Yes honey?” Elisa replied just as playfully.

“Is Velvet going to get adopted any time soon?”

“Her paper work just got put in since she just got cleared from being neutered. It might take a while though, black cats don’t exactly have the best chances of being adopted.” She explained.

“Why not?”

“Black cats have a bad rap given how they’ve been portrayed in movies. You know all that supernatural stuff.”

“Ooooh…that’s weird.” Johannes huffed.

“She’s going to miss Kaiser.” She said looking at the two.

“Yeah, that’s why you got the substitute right?”

“Yup.” She finished up her work and closed the computer. She looked over at him and she gave him a kiss, which he returned for a moment. Only to pounce on her as they fell onto the couch laughing and kissing.

“You’re amazing.” He said between kisses.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She laughed.

“Oh thank you.” He huffed.

“Can we go to bed? I want you to hold me.” She spoke quietly. She had been very busy these past few weeks as she had been called into the clinic because some sick animals needed surgery. He could tell she was exhausted as he brushed the hair from her face.

“Let’s go.” He said taking her hand. They were quick to change and crawl into bed with both of them holding each other.

Xxxxxxxx

Winter was fast approaching as Johannes shivered getting inside the house. Velvet was there to greet him with her golden eyes and happy meow. They weren’t fostering any dogs at the moment, but Elisa feared that might happen after the holiday season because families ended up dropping off pets that had been given at presents. It always made her sad. She was going to be a little late tonight so he started with dinner as he looked over some paper work. He blinked in surprise to see an adoption paper for Velvet stating that Elisa had adopted the cat. The door opened and closed prompting Johannes to speak.

“Hey honey…did you seriously adopt another kitten?”

She came into the kitchen and froze with wide nervous eyes as he showed her the sheet.

“Uummmm…noooo.” She blushed nervously.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We put up notice on our website for Velvet right away. No one hardly looked at her page, not even after her shots were done and she was neutered. I couldn’t just send her away to another clinic.” Elisa pleaded.

“Elisa I’m not mad. I just wanted you to tell me first that’s all.” He said calmly patting her arms.

“Sorry.”

“Meow!”

The both looked to see Velvet looking at them and Elisa laughed as she picked up the cat into her arms. She was much bigger now, but still had that kitten like energy. She put her down and Velvet went off to snuggle next to a stuffed toy German Shepard as she had indeed missed Kaiser.

“Well I guess the only thing to say is welcome to the family Velvet.” He shrugged.

“Thank you.” Elisa said happily and hugged him.

“You need to stay away from kittens.”

“But they’re my weakness.”

“I know! I’m going to start looking for that parrot I keep talking about.”

“No way Johannes!”            

[x-avantgarde]

SHINee World V - Hong Kong Experience!

So hello everyone owo I went to Shinee's World V, Hong Kong stop's concert!! (This is a Kpop post, I know but I will be back for vkei in the future! So please stay tuned!!) :D I bought the tickets really late orz and so before I start, I would like to apologize because I don't really know SHINee that well (I know them but I wasn’t a Shawol or anything) and I went because my mom likes Taemin (and SHINee) a lot XDD  (beware of this long ass post haha (it’s 2000+ words orz)

So we arrived at the venue at around 2pm? The merchandise opens at noon but I had this lesson that ends at noon so... We had lunch before we went to the venue (and the place is super far lol, but it's super close to the airport). Me and my mom took the airport express line from Kowloon (Elements?) to Asia World Expo and it was actually pretty quick (~20mins?). But the fare was super expensive OTL (though you get a discount if you show them your concert ticket).

There were A LOT of people lining up for the merch when I got there, but I wanted to get the light stick so badly (because I don't have one? XD) so I just lined up (like whatever haha). The line was super long, the merch was outside but the lines looped into the area where the standing went and waited. Around 30mins in the line I met people from my school lmao XD (so awkward bc we're actually not close?).

There were these people who approached us and asked us when we were in the line about whether we wanted light sticks or not (because they had "a bunch"). It was super fishy so I didn't get any, there were many cases in Kpop concerts where people sold fake light sticks :/// The official ones sold at 80HKD each but those people sold it at 60HKD each :////

After approximately two hours and fifteen minutes, I finally managed to get the merchandise :D Around halfway through the line, the staff gave us this sheet to write down what we wanted. In the end, I spent around 500HKD lmAO. I told myself I would only get the light stick and that was it, but you know what? I ended up getting an Onew fan, Onew key chain and these postcards (rip my money haha but it was so worth it). The Onew key chain is super duper cute!! owo (and yes my favourite member is Onew ouo)

It was around 4pm when we finished getting our merch, so me and my mom decided to go into this (kinda bad) cafe / restaurant place to sit down and eat something. I didn't eat anything because I literally just ate lunch three hours ago X"D Around 4:15, people were starting to line up. There are two places where you can go into the venue, one is on the ground floor, (for people in standing (who already got in) and people from the seating (block 5-13 (aka every block)) in the first rows. (A-M)). I was in block 10 row L so I had to get in on the ground floor.

Around 5:00 we went to line up and get ready to get in. The security was super strict and there were these Japanese girls in front of me who got cut off because they found a camera (but the girl said she went to disneyland and that's why she bought it). They took super long T___T until they finally managed to check my god damn bag. I bought a small-ish backpack but they literally took out everything T______T I understand that they didn't want any cameras inside the venue and stuff, but... uhhh really???

Me and my mom managed to get in, and we walked up the stairs (finally) and found our seats!! :))) On our seats, there was a pack, which included an balloon, a fan (double sided with a member's face) and this banner in Korean //orz what does it mean haha//. I got Key's fan so it's okay /but ugly sobbing because I didn't get Onew T_T/.

It was supposed to start at 6pm but they were super late (because Taemin had this earpiece problem so he kept apologizing during the introduction / first MC T___T (like CHILD ITS OK (let me give you a hug lmao). When the fans sat down, it felt super unreal, and it all felt like a dream. When the lights dimmed and we started screaming and chanting, "SHINEE! SHINEE! SHINEE!" They played a video (to our disappointment haha).

After that Shinee cAME OUT :DD They started with the song Sherlock and it's super good XD But I didn't warm up yet so I was kinda stiff and I didn't scream and all. (For some reason, I felt super awkward). But I was waving my light stick, just enjoying Shinee performing :))

The next song was Married To The Music and I was starting to get more hyped :) I lowkey sang along XDD I think they came out in suits or something (i forgot orz). Then the next song was Juliet (and the chorus is so catchy?!?!) After these three songs, it was MC timeeee! ^^ they started talking about how they haven't been to Hong Kong for a long time (around four years??) so they were really happy to be back. Key mentioned about how HK food was really good or something haha.

(Starting from this part, the order of the songs are going to be all messed up). They changed clothes somewhere after the MC or something like that (they changed way too often!!). I got more warmed up as Reply came up :DD Everyone sang along to it (and dude it's so good hahaha). You know how people would scream when a member's part comes up? That was me when Onew's part came up XD But it felt like I was the only Onew fan in my section because when Onew sings there were nearly NO ONE screaming T__T (It felt lowkey awkward because I would only be hearing my screams hahaha).

Then midway they changed into casual and I swear, Key looks SO GOOD in real life. During Lucifer, I was so hyped hahahaha. Key took off his white jacket because it was "too stiff and too hard to dance in it", and also he was like, "I look better without it". OMG XDD And guess what was underneath his jacket? A grey sleeveless shirt. SLEEVELESS. HE LOOKED SO GOOOD OMG. XD In the middle of the setlist /forgot which song orz/ he made the hand heart and it got onto the mini screen on the side. I got /shot/ in the heart owo.

THIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE CONCERT FOR ME HAHA. OKAY. During some song, Minho winked and gave this smooch towards the crowd OMG. AND IT WAS LIKE WINK THEN AIR KISS. /DIES/ WHEN HE DID THAT, I LITERALLY SPAZZED OUT ON MY SEAT HAHAHA, I WAS LIKE 'WHAT IS LIFE?' (He is so extra?!?! X"D)

In the middle of the setlist, (ESPECIALLY DURING Everybody), I got super duper hyped and screamed like crazy whenever it was Onew's part X"D (and also when their choreography was super cool). LIKE WHO CARES, I'M HERE TO HAVE FUN BITCHES XD During Everybody, these Japanese girls (again XD ikr, they have a lot of Japanese fans haha), also got super hyped XDDD Even though we weren't supposed to film, no one honestly gives a shit? (including me lmao). I filmed for around 30s in total XD (just to document the hype and it's the only thing I can hold onto after the concert T_T (other than the merch)).

They also performed Why So Serious, 1 of 1, So Amazing, View (that was aWESOME), Ring ding dong (the crowd was so high XD (including me hahaha)), Prism, Feel Good (CLIMAX OF THE CRAZINESS HAHA), Shift (don't really remember anything XD (except the fact they performed this song). The atmosphere was so awesome!! :))

In around the first quarter? Two members changed first, then the others went. Key, Minho and Taemin stayed first X"D Minho or Key was like, "I'm wondering if any of the members off stage are eating right now (referring to Onew and Jonghyun)" XD Then Onew and Jonghyun came back, wearing silk material / soft / shiny fabric clothes :DD it was so cool haha. (I think they also performed Dream Girl but I don't remember what happened T_T).

(I'm listening to SHINee's songs while typing this up so ahahahahaha) They sang a lot of the slower songs during that silk material clothing part XD (whatever you call it haha). Onew and Jonghyun also sang a duet-- Please Don't Go. This song was so touching and T_T //feels// Onew's voice was so sweet <333 /melts/ (Jonghyun's voice is also good <33) Hopefully Jonghyun's not sick or anything because he struggled a lot with hitting the high notes T___T especially during the duet and Replay QAQ

During Feel Good, oh my... oh my... The lyrics in the chorus, "I can make you feel good" X"D Everyone sang along in that part and I was kind of hesitant but I GAVE UP. So I also sang along and that was sooooo fun. This was one of the songs I like hahahaha. Though I wished they performed Tell Me What To Do because Jonghyun's voice in that song is GREAT.

There were a lot of Key and Taemin fans hahaha. Whenever it would be Key or Taemin's part, girls in my section would be screaming ahahah (like me in Onew's part X"D). And Onew's smile just melts my heart ouo Taemin also did a solo performance, he performed Sayonara Hitori (in Korean). His costume was so cool (there were these ribbons(?) that are sewn onto his sleeves, so whenever he spreads his arms it would look kind of like wings :D There were also these long stripes of red fabric hanging from the ceiling. There were also smoke(?) in the floor to make it even more dreamy <33 When my mom heard that song, she shook my arm excitedly and said, "This is my favourite song from Taemin!!" /lmao/ It was super cool and I enjoyed every single second of it /and I lowkey sang along because it's so good hahaha/

Skipping to Aside!! It was actually when we were supposed to blow up the balloons (which had led lights inside of them). I struggled a lot (because honestly I've never successfully blown a balloon before... until now XD) but the crowd looked super good because of the flashy balloons :DD Even Jonghyun was thankful for what the fans had prepared :DD (because he mentioned it in the ending speech).

Skip skip skip, time for chanting the encore! The fans actually started singing happy birthday (in Korean) to Shinee (as it's nearly their 9th anniversary!) ^_^ Every time we want to start over again (by singing happy birthday), we would all laugh as we don't know when we should start singing again haahaha (if it makes any sense XD). They came out in the moving carts (LIKE FINALLY?!) and the crew played So Amazing in the background. I really wanted to get one of their signed balls (that sounds wrong LMFAO /i'm sorry/) but I didn't manage to get one T_T because Onew and Jonghyun actually tried throwing some to my section but they didn't manage to throw it pass the crew (bc the crew was sandwiched between my section + the moving carts) OTL

/HIGHLIGHT NUMBER 2/ Since Minho was the only one on his cart, he actually stopped in front of my section (directly in front of me) and did the hand heart (like the one you make the heart with your arms + head??) towards my section XD I cried ahaha, and you know what? Before I knew it, MY HANDS AUTOMATICALLY DID AN ARM/HAND HEART BACK TO HIM. HE WAS SMILING SO BRIGHTLY OH MY GOSH. (No one in front of me did a heart back so it's actually possible he might have seen me in the corner of his eyes /dies from happiness/ /but it's okay if he didn't actually see me because giving a heart towards my section is already good enough <333/)

They did the ending speech and they reminded us to support Key's new drama <33 Shinee also told us that they will be back soon (isn't that what all the overseas idols say lmao). And it ended! I was so sad T___T they played a video (or some MV /i forgot/) and in the end the screen said "Thank you and love you" XD It was really touching but my mom had to ruin the moment and said, "Yeah, more like thank you and love your money" LMAO.

It was such a great experience and I have definitely fell in love with Shinee :D (who wouldn't if they attended Shinee's concert haha). It was so different from Visual Kei's lives and I might be doing a comparison in the future so please stay in touch with me! <3

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 22nd April 2018 - Nicki Minaj and David Guetta Edition

Let’s just get on with it.

Top 10

Alright, so we do have a new number-one, with “One Kiss” by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa jumping up two spots to claim its throne only a week after its debut. I mean, I’d rather it be this than what it was two weeks ago, but this isn’t really that much of an improvement over what is now at the runner-up spot.

Yes, that’s right, Drake’s “Nice for What” has fell off of its debut – which is something I didn’t really expect to happen. I think it will regain its position sometime, however, and you can quote me on that.

At number-three, going down a single spot from its runner-up position last time, we have a song.

“Paradise” by George Ezra creeps up a spot to number-four.

“These Days” by Rudimental featuring Jess Glynne, Dan Caplen and Macklemore continues its slow descent to number-five, which is okay – it had a good run.

“Friends” by Marshmello and Anne-Marie still won’t budge at number-six.

“Lullaby” by Sigala featuring Paloma Faith has strangely moved up two spaces to number-seven.

“Feel it Still” by Portugal. The Man, similarly to “Friends”, won’t move out of the number-eight position.

“Psycho” by Post Malone featuring Ty Dolla $ign has moved up a spot to number-nine, probably because of the next spot’s absolute freefall.

At number-ten, we have “This is Me” by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble barely holding on after a three-spot tumble.

Climbers

So, the top 10 is pretty stable, but is anything shifting up in the 30 less popular songs? I mean, not really anything that notable. Off the debuts, we have “Answerphone” by Banx & Ranx and Ella Eyre featuring Yxng Bane moving up seven spaces into the top 20 at #18, as well as “Mad Love” by Sean Paul featuring Becky G and David Guetta up 14 spaces to #25. The big story here, however, is definitely Cardi B’s swift 17-space uptake for “I Like It” with Bad Bunny and J Balvin, now at #23. I can see this becoming a big hit.

Fallers

There were a lot of earlier 2018 and even late 2017 hits that fell this week, but none of them all that big. We had “Breathe” by Jax Jones featuring Ina Wroldsen down five spaces to #27, “IDGAF” by Dua Lipa down seven spaces to #28, “SAD!” by XXXYIKES down five spaces to #29, “A Million Dreams” by Ziv Zaifman, Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams down seven spaces to #33, “Sanctify” by Years & Years down six spaces to #35, “Never Enough” by Loren Allred down eight spaces to #36 and “All the Stars” by Kendrick Lamar and SZA down five spaces to #39. It should also be noted that “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran is now being credited as the duet version with Beyoncé as it goes down five spaces to #38. The BBC and Charts Company are very inconsistent about that.

Dropouts and Returning Entries

Now, we are gathered here today to mourn the losses of “Dreams” by Ruti from #14, “Wasted Times” by The Weeknd from #30, “Pray for Me” by The Weeknd and Kendrick Lamar from #32, “Fine Line” by Mabel featuring Not3s from #35, “I See You Shining” by Nines from #37, and finally, “Dancing” by Kylie Minogue from #39. Nothing terribly tragic or even important here, and no returning entries, so I think we should get straight into the new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Like I Do” – David Guetta, Martin Garrix and Brooks

Two David Guetta tracks debuted this week and I’m going to assume right off the bat that they’re just bland EDM or electro house tracks with a pitch-shifted hook and a tropical tinge.

What? Did you expect it not be exactly what I expected from David “I Made One Good Song, Let’s Do It Another 72 Times” Guetta? No, but I am somewhat surprised by how punchy these house synths are in the drop, with some alarm sounds for good measure and pounding percussion, as well as that throbbing bassline. The pitch-shifted vocals are repetitious and assumingly a sample, but they fit in the synth noise that is the verse’s instrumental, which also has some subtle... tambourines? Damn, Guetta, you really went all out for this. Yeah, I’m sad to say this about a track I was so downbeat about, and to an extent, three artists I don’t care for, but, yeah, this is pretty damn good. Exciting and straight-to-the-point dance music, with all artists having a damn good jab at it.

#37 – “Flames” – David Guetta and Sia

Now, this is more what I expected. A flat melody with some extra tropical synths and Sia being completely wasted. Sounds like David Guetta, right? Well, not really. It’s got a chugging guitar melody to back it up, a steady drum pattern and Sia is underused but still kills it as always. I especially love the chorus, where it goes into a burst of celebratory, triumphant electro-pop, as Sia sees how many ways she can mispronounce “flames”. It’s not amazing, and neither is “Like I Do” for that matter, but man, I’m surprised by how much I like this, considering my distaste for Guetta’s music in the past. I hope Sia has a new album out soon, by the way. I’ve missed her.

#31 – “Barbie Tingz” – Nicki Minaj

You do not know how hyped I have been to listen to these two new Nicki Minaj tracks. I don’t tend to bother with pre-album singles, but since I kind of have to for this show, I gave these two a shot to see if my expectations are met. Honestly, this production is somewhat underwhelming. Tribal drums would usually be an immediate appeal for me, but it’s drowned out in reverb and a weak droning circus-synth that they call a bassline. I like the constant ad-libs, though, they add some flavour - and Nicki’s still great on the mic as always, with some decent rhymes as well as the fantastic flows and unique delivery we all know her for. I wanted to like this so much more, but sadly, Nicki’s new producer can’t keep up with the woman herself. I’m still excited for her new album, of course – I love Nicki’s personality and skill as an MC enough that I could probably listen to a whole project of disappointing tracks and give it a positive score.

#30 – “German” – EO

Andalé, andalé, EO, EO, uh-oh! What’s popping tonight?

I have no idea who this EO dude is, but like Nines from last week, the dude sure has a joke-bank of names. Seriously, these British faux-reggae rappers need to start working on their stage name game. Oh, yeah, the music – well, I’ve talked about this song before. At least, I think so. I’ve heard this autotuned croon with some mediocre lyricism, weak reverb-addict dancehall production and steel pan/trap snare combination for the percussion a few times before. Hmm... Let’s just say that if I wanted to listen to German music, I’d go for Kraftwerk.

This isn’t even in German, it’s just about foreign jewellery, foreign cars and foreign women. I mean, why German? It’s not stereotypically a luxurious country or anything; you’d expect a rapper to say that their cars and their girls are from like France, right? Is that just me? I don’t care – skip this trash.

#26 – “Chun-Li” – Nicki Minaj

Is that a man singing with an incredibly nasal nose or a bee buzzing for that synth? I can’t tell. Either way, Nicki is steps ahead from her served production as with “Barbie Tingz”, with intimidating, albeit melodramatic, spoken interludes and catchy fire bars, some of it being pretty impressively freestyled... which you can tell with the “Call me 2 Chainz, name go ding-dong” line. Yeah, that’s pretty questionable, but otherwise, yeah, with some less underwhelming production, this would have been a certified banger. As it is, it’s just some dude blowing his nose over an otherwise bland trap-rap track. Nicki, get some better dudes behind the keys next time, because this newly-hired guy isn’t doing too well.

#20 – “Let Me” – ZAYN

Oh, my God! It’s the lead single from former One Direction member turned R&B bad boy Zany Milk’s sophomore album... even though he released two singles prior but let’s just presume those were for buzz. This is the real thing! It’s going to be amazing! It’s going to be ground-breaking! It’s going to be a trap banger with production that is breathtaking and not watered down! It’s going to have meaningful, conscious lyrics that do not mention vanilla ice cream! It’s not going to have Zayn’s skin-crawlingly weak falsetto! It’s not going to have a jumbled mess of a chorus! It’s going to be a powerful, triumphant “stick-it-to-the-man” anthem with experimental instrumentation and a rebellious attitude to the lyrics! It’s not going to be the lazily trend-hopping BS that Zayn otherwise decides to sing on! It’s going to be new, fresh and exciting! Yeah...

Nope.

Conclusion

Nothing here knocked my socks off, but nothing here forced to me to put shoes on and go out for a walk. Best of the Week goes for “Like I Do” by David Guetta and co., with his other single with Sia, “Flames” getting the Honourable Mention. Worst of the Week is pretty obviously “German” by EO, with Dishonourable Mention going to “Let Me” by ZAYN. Nicki Minaj doesn’t take anything, which is sad because I thought she’d bring home Best of the Week. We’ll see how that album is, though, in a few weeks. For now, see ya next time!