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#even though i want nothing more than to talk to/make friends with people
barcaatthemoon · 3 days
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friend of the bride || lia walti x reader ||
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You hook up with Lia at your best friend's wedding.
MINORS DNI, 18+, Smut warning.
You knew about Lia. You had never played against Lia, but you knew all about her. It was your job to know about football, both international and domestic. She hadn't played in the NWSL, but you were a pretty big Arsenal fan even before she had joined up. But even before then, you had heard people in the business talking about the Swiss player.
It made sense that she'd be in the bridal party. Lia was Ana's best friend, and maid of honor. In a way, you thought it was wild that the two of you weren't better acquainted. Obviously you understood Ana being hesitant about introducing the two of you. You were a bit of a womanizer to say the least, even if you had settled down quite a bit since starting your gig as an official NWSL commentator.
"Excuse me, I don't know if we know each other. I'm (Y/n)." You could feel Ana's eyes on you as you approached Lia. There weren't many people that made you nervous, but your best friend's new wife was definitely one of them. The two of you had been teammates years ago whenever Ana played on the Thorns, and maybe, just maybe, you had seen a spark all those years ago.
Nothing had ever come of it, and you were happier because of it. Ana was cool, and she definitely would have hated you whenever you transferred across the country at the end of the year. You weren't a native to New Jersey, but Rutgers had offered you a full ride, so you counted yourself as a bit of a Jersey girl. Sky Blue wasn't perfect by any means, but it was definitely the place that you had wanted to retire playing for.
"I'm Lia, and no, we haven't been properly introduced," she said. She outstretched her hand, and you took the offering. Behind you, you could practically feel Ana attempting to burn holes into the back of your head to deter you. "My friend is watching us."
"If I'm being honest, I don't blame her. She's heard stories of how I can be at weddings." Bashful wasn't something that normally worked well with you, but Lia found the blush cute. It became obvious as she patted the chair in front of her that she knew a bit about you. Ana had to have warned her before either of you arrived in Seattle for the wedding.
"I've heard stories of how you are away from weddings. I get it though, life feels a bit more special with all of this love in the air," Lia said. You thought that she was sweet, and a part of you was about to back out when she grabbed onto your wrist. "I fly out tomorrow afternoon, and I'd hate to leave without as many good memories as I can get."
"She'll kill me if we leave together," you told Lia. She glanced behind you and waved at Ana. You did everything in your power not to turn, but Lia seemed amused by whatever was going on behind you. "Is she being mean?"
"Not at all, but you should say your goodbyes and get your coat. I'm in room 615," Lia told you. She slipped her key card in your pocket, and you wondered how long she had been watching you. Lia left first, leaving you to sit there stunned for a moment. It was hasty, but you said your goodbyes and promised Ana that you'd be safe with her friend. She was a bit dismissive, but you didn't miss the little twinkle in her eye. If you had any more to drink, you would have considered that she was happy about you and Lia running off together.
It seemed almost too good to be true that Lia's room was on the same floor as yours. You made a quick stop at your own room to shed your suit jacket and make sure that you still looked good. Your room was only a few doors down from Lia's, and you wondered if she had seen you at all over the week. The entirety of the wedding party had been flown in several days earlier than all of the other guests, and you doubted the maid of honor had been an exception to that.
"You left your jacket. That's a shame, it looked good. At least I can still do this," Lia said as she grabbed you by your tie and pulled you into the room. You stumbled a little, but caught yourself as Lia's arms wrapped around your shoulders. She was still in her dress, but without her heels on, you were a couple inches taller than her. "You know, I had always hoped you would find your way to the WSL. I would have liked to play against you."
"I bet we could have had a lot of fun together." Lia seemed to catch onto the hidden meaning of your words quickly. You were a bit surprised by her forwardness as she kissed you. It was welcome, as was the feeling of her hands pulling your button out from where it had been tucked into your pants.
The women you hooked up with had all definitely wanted you, but they were rarely as confident in themselves as Lia. She was sweet and gentle, but it wasn't submissive in the slightest. She took what she wanted without overstepping, and it took you several moments for your brain to kick in and join her.
"Take my dress off," Lia told you. You didn't hesitate for even half a second to turn the Swiss woman around. There was a little clasp by the small of her back, and once it was undone, Lia let the dress slip off from her body and pool onto the floor.
You could see that her chest was bare, but that did nothing to prepare you for the sight of her. She stood in front of you completely topless. You weren't being subtle in your staring, but Lia didn't seem to mind it. She let you keep staring as she pushed you back onto the bed. Lia climbed onto your lap, and there she sat straddling you as she looked down at you.
"There are plenty of more comfortable places for you to sit," you started. Lia showed her amusement with a little half-smirk. Normally, your jokes garnered a bit more of a reaction, and the fact that she hadn't given you one made you want to try again. You wanted to impress this woman with every part of you, and you had no idea why. Nobody was supposed to mean this much to you, not for a single night anyway.
"I'm already practically naked on top of you, lines aren't necessary," Lia told you. You nodded and swallowed, somewhat nervous as she stared at you. It was like she was studying you, less out of curosity, but more in the way a predator would study its prey. "You're wearing too much, and I'd hate to ruin your very nice suit."
You nearly let out a whine as Lia moved off of you. You scrambled off of the bed and hastily undressed yourself, not caring that for a moment, you were more bare than she was. Lia hummed in appreciation as you stood in front of her, completely naked. She guided you down onto your knees in front of her and leaned over her own lap to kiss you.
"Show me what you can do. I hope everything I've heard about you is true," Lia said. Even after she broke the kiss, you didn't stop kissing her. Your mouth moved all over her neck and jaw, occasionally stopping to mark a couple of hickeys for her to take as a temporary souvenir. You were a lot less careful with your marking whenever you got to her chest, sucking as many love bites onto her skin as you could.
Lia tried not to rush you, but you could tell that her patience was growing thin. She ground herself against the palm of your hand as you cupped her over her underwear. You let out a pleasured groan at the feeling of her heat through the fabric. You could practically feel her arousal growing as she moved against your hand.
"More, I want more," Lia told you. You took your time teasing her as you took her underwear off. Your face was buried into the side of her thigh when your attention was pulled by a frustrated growl. Lia looked down at you with a look so sweet that you almost got whiplash from the way her hand balled into a fist around your hair.
You let her guide your face, only sticking your tongue out to give her something to seek out. Lia loosened her grip when she felt your lips wrap around her clit. Her thighs clamped around your head, holding you against her as she rocked her hips back and forth gently. You pried her thighs apart to make room for your fingers to tease at her entrance, stroking over the hole with the promise of penetration.
This time, Lia didn't have to ask or tell you to keep going. Once you got into your groove, everything came very naturally to you. Lia was moving wildly on the bed, each buck of her hips punctuated by a little creak of the bed. Between Lia's moaning, the bed creaking, and the absolutely obscene sound of your fingers fucking in and out of her, there wasn't a moment of silence.
"That's it, right there. Don't you dare stop. Oh fuck!" Lia exclaimed. You felt a sharp tug to your hair as her other hand wrapped around the back of your neck. You could feel her nails dig into your skin, but the pain of it just made your eyes roll back in your head a little. Above you, Lia's body held you close even as she tried to squirm away from you, torn between wanting to stop and wanting to see just how hard you could make her cum. Ultimately, she ended up pushing you away just a couple minutes later as her body began to approach overstimulation.
"I think you did a number on me," you muttered as you rubbed at the little nail indents on the back of your neck. Lia sat up on her elbows, just enough to see her reflection in the TV. She looked gorgeous to you, disheleved in the most perfect of ways. There was no denying what had just happened, not when you looked at Lia.
"I can do a lot worse," Lia laughed. You clammed up a bit at her words. You had no idea what was wrong with you because Lia shouldn't have been getting to you this badly. She was practically a stranger, and yet, you didn't want to just gather your clothes and run off to your own room just yet. "If you ever find yourself in London, message me. Now though, I think you should get going. Guests are going to be back any moment now."
"I've never been asked out and kicked out at the same time. You are something else," you said in disbelief. Lia could tell that you weren't angry, and just to keep it that way, she walked you out. A part of you wanted to linger, but aside from a pretty chaste kiss, Lia didn't give you the opportunity. You just had to hope that you'd catch her before she ran off the next day, but even if you didn't, you couldn't be mad about how your night went.
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bomber-grl · 2 days
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Deku Dating hc!! ୨ৎ
Pairing(s): Izuku Midoriya x Gn!Reader
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Creds ~ first divider: @/khaer 2nd divider: @/strangergraphics-archive Art: @/xuune/kaiihuna or @/_kaiihua on twt
HE IS SO FLUSTERED OMG
Not even an exaggeration, the moment you confessed it was like blud went into cardiac arrest
Once he regained his wits he reciprocated your feelings all in a couple of stutters and accidental muttering
How charming
All sarcasm aside, it really is endearing
Yknow how most of the people in class 1-A are unnecessarily weirded out by his muttering
Plus how Deku is more often than not, called names by his own fandom 💀
Well he thinks that way about himself too
Sure you get along more than just fine but seeing him apologize for being more than a little nerdy is shocking to say the least
I mean if anything his “weird” and nerdy self is literally part of his charm and you make this known
Reread that first bullet point for a hint to how he reacted to you telling him that
Anyway
It’s likely you guys met at UA
I mean it’s where he’s made the most friends at (if any) and the only reason he talked to you was either it was inevitable or he absolutely fan boy-ed over your quirk
If you guys had some sort of romantic connotation and you had to fight against each other in the sports festival he’d be pretty conflicted
Although, you’d probably not want him to hold back
If anything he’s just sorry about the whole ordeal 😭
As a boyfriend Deku is shy(?)
I mean just look at how he reacted to technically a none romantic gesture and just interaction - he’s definitely going to be flustered for the majority of you two hanging out
Overall he’s really sweet
Like genuinely it’s surprising that he’s never actually been with someone in a real relationship before
If you disagree… look at him in the beginning of the anime 😭💀)
At most he was probably jokingly asked out or asked out on a dare in the past
I do think that hero life would sort of interfere with romantic relations for you both(assuming ur attending UA)
So there’s times where meeting up or just hanging out would be difficult
But when you two can hang out- it’s really nice
You’re either going to fast food restaurants, going shopping or doing anything really-
These outings are similar in the fact that they all often end in you both fighting some villian 😭
There is this one instance where before the dorms were introduced- you and Izuku had stayed to train or clean- whatever it was at school
He got a call from inko and upon finding out you (someone he does nothing but yap about to her) were around, well, she figured she’d invite you for dinner
Queue you finally meeting Inko and if you’re nervous and want to get a gift of some kind Izuku is kind of laughing but also happy that you want to “impress” her
Even though she loves you already
When you meet inko, she’s is buzzing with as much nervous energy as Izuku is
Funny how similar they are
The dinner goes smoothly and if anything she just approves of you more
Now eventually dorms get introduced and so does sneaking around
Don’t tell me no one in class 1-a wouldn’t sneak around- they’re high schoolers and you can’t tell me they wouldn’t just want to have stereotypical sleepovers
Among those who would sneak around is you
Izuku is less likely to because he’s a bit shy and if he’s ever caught- God kill him now 😭
So ofc you end up sneaking to his room
Which sorta backfires because he loves all might and all might is just staring at you in every direction you look.
The merch is just too excessive
Even then, a sleepover is too much for him and in Izuku fashion- he gets flustered
It takes awhile for him to chill 😭
Holding hands? In the hall way?
If you manage to hold hands for 5 seconds before Iida or Bakugo mention it then you’ve got a personal best!
(Iida because he says no PDA, and bakugo cuz him and his big ass mouth always got something to say)
——————
A/n: hope u liked! ^^
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snowball-doie · 2 days
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| pairing: virgin!sub!Jisung x fangirl!Dom!fem!Reader
| warnings: 18+ MDNI. Corruption kink (ish). Blowjob. He's a lil lost in the sauce.
| wc: 5.5k
| aurora's note: shout out to @floresmu3rtas for being my co-conspirator for this one. pt 2 coming soon on her blog hehehee
| part two (written by @floresmu3rtas) // part three
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What an odd turn of events the night of your concert took… On the way to the stadium, you and your friends talked about getting burgers after the show to cure your inevitable post-concert depression, and once you were in bed, you’d sit down in pajamas and go through all of the freebies you guys collected. It sounded like fun. After all, you just spent hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars going to see NCT Dream live for the first time ever, so why wouldn’t you go early to collect freebies, record all the videos possible, then go home and reflect on the fun night with your friends? But on your way out of the show, you were stopped. A security guard came out from behind  the barricade while the crowds slowly shuffled towards the exit, and he approached your friend group directly. He wore all black and a mask to cover his face… It was leagues different from the stadium’s security who wore bright yellow shirts and looked like they wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed instead of having to make sure some idiot fangirls didn’t try to climb onto the stage.
“My boss wants to talk to you,” he said directly to you, unflinching when you were struck with so much confusion that you looked around at your friends for an explanation they couldn’t provide.
“Am I in trouble?” you asked.
“No.”
So, albeit reluctantly, you handed your bag of freebies and your lightstick to your friends before following the man through the hole in the barricade that was covered up by stadium security once you were in, and you were casually led backstage where the staff was working to take down the set in order to transport it to the next tour stop in two days. Every once in a while, the security guard would glance over his shoulder to make sure that you were following him. Of course you were. There were so many staff members running around that you feared getting lost or dragged away in the chaos of it all, so you stuck close to him. When he dove into a side room, you followed. Standing there was a manager you recognized from Twitter posts of the members at airports— He was Jisung’s manager, specifically… And beside him was a woman you didn’t recognize, but she welcomed you with a smile even though the manager and the security guard didn’t.
“Welcome,” she said kindly. Your anxiety was eased by her somewhat. “Sorry for jumping you like this and everything, I know you’re probably confused and a bit scared.” You blushed in response, unsure of what to say. Were you in trouble… Or… “One of our bosses wants to talk to you privately later, but our job is to make sure that you’re okay with talking to him, and that whatever kind of… conversation… happens, that it stays private between the two of you.”
Oh?
She gestured to the manager who put a small stack of papers on the coffee table that sat between you and them. “I’m a lawyer for SM, and this is one of the managers for the group. If you’d like to talk to our boss as much as he’d like to talk to you, we’re here to witness before anything else happens that you sign these papers.”
You stepped forward to find what you already knew in the back of your mind since you were stopped with your friends, yet you refused to admit it until you saw the words “NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT” typed at the top of the document. Fuck. Okay… Sure… It was happening… The unrealistic Y/N type of story you read a million times over on the internet somehow graced your reality, and of all people, it seemed that it was Jisung who wanted to “talk” to you… Fuck. Shit. Okay. Fuck.
“You don’t have to sign, if you don’t want to. I want to make that clear,” the lawyer continued.
“No, I’ll sign,” you replied quickly before your thoughts could catch up to your mouth. You blushed at your eagerness. It seemed a bit pathetic to jump at the opportunity so quickly with little to no information from the other three people standing in the room— And why the hell did Jisung want to “talk” to you? What the fuck was going on!
The lawyer smiled and sat on the couch beside the coffee table, and she gestured for you to join her, so you did. The security guard remained at the door, and the manager sat across from you. “All this legal nonsense basically just states that you can’t tell anyone about what happens tonight between you and any of the members of the group and any staff members, including myself. You can’t record audio or visuals of any situation. You can’t post any details on social media. If you break any of these regulations, then the company has the right to sue you for breach of contract, and there’s usually a fine involved. If any kind of pornography were to be recorded and/or distributed, you’ll be sued by the company for breach of contract and distribution of revenge pornography.” She chuckled nervously to mirror your own reaction, then she put a hand on your shoulder to comfort you. “I know it’s overwhelming. Again, you don’t have to sign, and you’re free to leave at any point. And you should know that if anything illegal happens, you do have the right to go to the police, and you won’t be sued for breach of contract. Okay?”
You nodded vaguely.
“We’ll give you a few minutes to read and decide if you still want to sign. After that, if you sign, we’ll take you to see our boss. If you don’t want to sign, that’s alright too, we’ll just help you find a way home, alright?”
You nodded again.
“Okay.”
She gestured to the security guard and the manager who stepped out of the room while she went to a mini fridge in the corner of the room so that she could grab a soda as she scrolled through her phone, pretending not to hover in order to give you space to make your decision. You’d be stupid not to sign, right? If you were ever allowed to tell your friends— Which, obviously the NDA in front of you was airtight, so you wouldn’t be able to, but… If they knew, and if you didn’t sign, they would slap you silly for fucking up the chance to spend time with Jisung. You had to sign. Of course you did. Right? Shit. Reading the document made it scarier because the whole situation was becoming all too real.
Ah, fuck it.
You picked up the pen next to the papers, and you flipped to the last page to sign. The lawyer immediately looked up and pocketed her phone, striding to return to you so that she could collect the signed papers.
“Alright, I’ll have the security guard outside take you to the hotel the boys are staying at. I’m sure you understand that you’ll be led there discreetly, and once you’re there, you can’t tell anyone about what happens. Yes?”
You nodded again. “Yes.”
“If something happens, though, if you need anything, here’s my number.” She handed you her business card. “And don’t forget, you can always say no… And, um… If you need to leave, you can.”
You stared at her. Was it wrong to sell your life away so carelessly like that? She was distributing her warnings like there was prior experience, and you hoped that it had nothing to do with what you were about to confront. Still, your legs carried you to the door where the security guard was standing, and once the manager in the hallway noticed the signed papers, he walked off to go handle something while the security guard turned to lead you through the corridors of the stadium to the backstage garage. There, a black van was waiting with the engine running. The security guard climbed in, and you followed, then another guard closed the van’s door. With two brief thuds on the backside of the car, the driver started off out of the garage.
The drive to the hotel was a silent one. Neither the driver nor the security guard sitting next to you said anything. While you stared out the window, asking yourself what was going to happen, the security guard texted on his phone. You wondered if it was about work, if he was texting the manager or Jisung about where you were, and that you’d signed the NDA, and that you were shaking with anxiety. How many girls had they done this with? How many different girls had Jisung spotted in the crowd, despite the bright stage lights that made it next to impossible to see anything at all 
At the hotel, everything was just as quiet as the car ride, most people already asleep or at least in the comfort of their rooms, save for the one employee at the front desk in the lobby who only greeted you with a smile as you passed by to follow the security guard to the elevator. No one joined you on the way up to the seventh floor. And no one interrupted you as the security card swiped the key to the sixth room and opened the door for you to step inside.
“He’ll be here in about ten minutes.” That was all he said before closing the door on you.
So you waited. Awkwardly. Standing in the middle of the hotel room, the bed a mess from what you assumed had to have been his mid-day nap before the show, his suitcase left open on the luggage rack at the foot of the bed, his toiletries neatly sorted on the bathroom counter. Boredom struck fast, and though you certainly didn’t feel comfortable touching anything, you decided to look around a bit. He used Crest toothpaste, and whitening strips, which shocked you, truth be told. There were a plethora of hair and skin care products that all had Korean labels, so you were unsure what they were all for.
Before you knew it, the front door was opening, and in walked Jisung Park. He hesitated in the doorway, the door still open, the security guard and his manager standing behind him. For a moment, he stared at you in silence. While you were still dressed to the nines for the concert, Jisung was already in a matching set of gray sweats and wearing his glasses instead of contacts. The only remnants from the concert were the sparkly stickers on his cheek and his stage make up.
He turned to whisper something in Korean to the men behind him before he quietly closed the door and stayed with his back turned to you for a minute. You were suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious. There he was, an idol, the idol of your favorite group, and yet you couldn’t seem to jump with excitement because of his mundane reaction to having a woman— A fangirl— waiting for him in his hotel room. Were you not what he wanted? Did he mean for one of your other friends to be pulled out of the crowd?
Then, with swift, quick steps, Jisung walked right past you without a second glance. Maybe he was acting so casual because he was used to it, and it was you who was doing something wrong. Were you supposed to be on the bed already? Or waiting on the couch? Were you supposed to look at him or keep your eyes down? Were you supposed to greet him or was the whole exchange meant to be silent? Maybe he just wanted to fuck you then toss you to the side like idols were rumored to do.
Jisung let out a shaky sigh. He turned to you slowly, finally sending a smile in your direction before bowing at the hip and introducing himself in English… As if he needed to explain to you who he was… Only hours prior you’d been screaming his name at the top of your lungs while fighting to get his attention in the sea of other fangirls. Of course you knew who he fucking was, why else would you have signed that NDA? Still, you did the polite thing by introducing yourself briefly and quietly, unsure if he really cared for your name or not.
He stared at you for another moment. “Do you want anything? Water? Soda? Alcohol? I can order room service.”
You shook your head. “I’m alright, thank you.”
And then he stared at you again. “You’re a fan, yes?” He walked to the mini fridge to pull out a soda. You nodded. “Am I your favorite?”
“Yes.”
He blushed down at the can in his hand while he struggled to open it. You noticed then that his hands were shaking and his foot was tapping against the carpet nervously. He looked almost as anxious as you.
“Sorry, I’ve just...  I don’t know what I’m doing. This was a bad idea, I think… Fucking Jeno…”
“Hey, listen, we don’t have to do anything.”
Jisung looked at you suddenly, the panic in his eyes wavering with the little bit of hope provided by your words. “Jjinja?”
“Yeah.”
He exhaled deeply. “I’m sorry about all this.” He set down the soda, abandoning the thought of fighting to open it any longer. “Was, um, was the show fun?”
“My friends and I had a lot of fun. It’s the first time we’ve seen you perform live. Did you have fun?”
“Yes.” His English seemed mildly limited, so he kept his answers brief in order to not embarrass himself, not that you would’ve minded.
Silence lingered again, the two of you unsure of what to do with yourselves. Eventually, Jisung figured it was more comfortable to pass the awkward time by sitting on the couch, his coke defrosting on the table next to him. Did he not like you? Did he not want you? Was he too shy or nice to kick you out? You wished he would just say what was on his mind rather than leave you to fend for yourself, flailing desperately in a situation you had no familiarity with. So in an attempt to figure out what he actually wanted, you poked the bear.
“We could try one thing, if you wanted.”
Like a deer lost in headlights, Jisung continued to stare at you with wide eyes behind his glasses. “Like what?”
“I could give you a blow job.”
He choked on air.
“But if you don’t want to, we can just talk… Or I can leave… Whatever makes you happy.”
“I wouldn’t know,” he muttered under his breath, looking down at his fidgeting hands. 
You didn’t really catch what he said. The quiet volume of his scared voice and the broken English made you reconsider if you even heard it at all.
Warily sitting next to him, you pried, “What do you mean?”
Jisung bit his swollen bottom lip. “I’ve never…” And then he rubbed a cool palm on the back of his neck to keep it from turning red with embarrassment, even though it was far too late. “I’ve never, um… Done that.”
For a moment, you wondered if there was a language barrier blocking you from understanding what he really meant. Then he looked at you with those wide, innocent eyes, and you knew the truth. He really hadn’t… Not even a blowjob? Or fingering a girl? Was that why he was so shy with  you— Not because you were a fan in his hotel room? You couldn’t help but laugh with relief. Jisung’s face fell and his body slumped with defeat.
“I’m not laughing at you!” you promised through one last giggle. “I thought you just didn’t like me or something.”
He panicked. “No, no! I think you’re really pretty…” He smiled through a blush that made him avert his gaze once more. “Jjinja… Geundae…” The cogs in his brain were working to find the right words in English. “I am… embarrassed… I don’t know what to do.”
“You wouldn’t have to do anything.”
That made him appear more self-conscious.
“I could teach you.”
It looked like he was about to pass out when you said that, endless possibilities forming behind his eyes that were slowly glazing over with lust. His eyes were so cute. When he looked like he was silently pleading for you to do just that, because he couldn’t bring himself to say the words confidently, you just about swooned thanks to the cuteness aggression twisting in your stomach. It was a wonder how a guy like him was a virgin with no experience. Since he was an idol, you just assumed off the bat, and because of the lawyer’s concerning warnings at the stadium, that he’d pulled aside plenty of girls and fucked them into different hotel mattresses then had them escorted out once he was done. But no. It sounded like maybe some of the others were used to that, but not Jisung. His bouncing leg and fidgeting hands over his lap directed your attention down to the erection growing in his sweatpants. Was he really that worked up just at the thought of having a fan blow him off? He should’ve just said so the second he walked through the front door instead of making you think he was regretting asking for you.
Still, you triple checked for consent before daring to touch him. “Do you want to?” It was as simple as you could make the question for him.
“Ne— Yes! Yes…” He cleared his throat uncomfortably.
Finally, with a smile, you inched closer to him on the couch, his body tensing up slightly in response, but he didn’t move or say anything to stop you. You stared at his lips while he stared at your tits. Obviously you’d worn something revealing in the hopes of getting your silly Y/N moment, but it was a pipe dream at the time, and now it was your reality.
“Here.” You took one of his shaky hands from his lap and lifted it to your breasts, guiding him to press his palm over one of them. He let out a shaky breath that made you feel the warmth on the tip of your nose. “Have you ever kissed anyone?” He nodded quickly. “When?”
“In high school… And once at the company… And… on New Year's Eve.”
He remembered all of his kisses? Adorable.
“Kiss me, then.”
Jisung hesitated, his breath still hot on your nose; But with a light squeeze around your covered boob, he leaned in and pressed his plump lips against yours. That was all he did. He pecked you, but he didn’t put effort into making out with you, with or without tongue. Maybe that was all those silly kisses in the past had been. So instead of interrogating him more, you took the lead, showing him how to do it properly by tilting your head the other way then sticking your tongue into his mouth. Jisung moaned followed by another squeeze that made you mewl in response.
It took him a bit to learn. The noticeable hesitancy in his kisses and touches indicated that he was worried about scaring you off at any moment, but you tried your best to encourage him by leaning more into him and squeezing your hand over his so that he would massage your breasts more. Of his own volition, his other hand went to your chest as well. You grinned against his lips before drifting to kiss his sharp jawline that all your friends fawned over in group chats, then you left a trail of kisses down to his neck. You knew that you couldn’t leave any marks. As fun as it would be to leave a hickey there to let the rest of the world know that you were the first person who ever got him off, it would be more of a hassle to cover it with makeup and hide it until the bruising subsided than it was worse. She’d probably get yelled at by his manager or the group’s lawyer. So you refrained from doing everything you wanted…
Instead, you left gentle, fluttering kisses that made Jisung moan up into the still hotel air. He was so sensitive. Had no one kissed the rest of his body before? Had it only been his lips? Surely whoever it was at the company that kissed him— Perhaps another idol— or whichever lucky dunk girl kissed him on New Years thought to kiss his neck and collarbones. How could they not? His skin was so perfect, and the contrast between his natural skin tone and the makeup he was wearing made your head spin. You thought about what he would look like bare faced… Unfortunate that you would never get to see it up close. The best you were ever going to get was him in sweats and stage make up, his erection in full throttle in his pants.
Your hand moved from your own lap to his knee, causing Jisung to jolt slightly and whimper. You turned to kiss the other side of his neck. Jisung’s thumbs tried to stimulate your nipples over your clothes, but there was simply too much fabric in the way, so he whined again and went back to massaging them. However, his movements came to a standstill when you ran your splayed left hand up his thigh before settling directly over his hard-on.
“Ssibal,” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut.
Your free hand grabbed his chin. “Look at me.” So he did, his eyes glossed over with so much pleasure that he couldn’t open them all the way. When you palmed him briefly, Jisung let out a gasp and hunched forward slightly, his eyes really struggling to stay open for you now. “Does it feel good?”
“Ne.”
As your hand found the drawstring of his sweatpants, you released his chin so that you could slide off the couch and fall to your knees, multitasking between undoing his pants and crawling between his legs that he spread in order to accommodate you while he leaned back against the couch. Jisung watched you studiously. You could tell that behind those glasses of his, he was trying to memorize every detail of you and what you were doing for his spank-bank. The way you looked up at him through your lashes while you expertly untied his pants and helped him lift his hips so that you could pull his sweats down to his ankles. The way you teased him over his boxers for a minute just to get a visceral reaction out of him that made you giggle. The way you took off his underwear so easily. And, of course, what that first touch around his cock felt like.
Jisung’s hands balled into fists around the hem of his sweatshirt. “Fuck—” When your thumb ran over his tip, he shivered and squeezed his thighs together. “Fuck—“
You grinned. Poor thing already couldn’t tell left from right or up from down. Perhaps you could remind him by slowly pumping your fist up and down his length. Jisung wasn’t exactly what you expected. In all the fanfics you’d read about him, and all the times you speculated with friends, you never really stopped to imagine anything beyond his length. People liked to say he had a big cock. He did. Though, much of it had to do with said length you always theorized over, while his girth was just enough to fit in your hand that was wrapped around it. His tip was a dark shade somewhere between brown and pink, and the rest of him was dark and veiny… like his shaking hands. 
“You can touch me,” you told him.
His hands remained clasped around the fabric of his sweatshirt. You saw a bit of hesitancy, a twitch like he wanted to touch you, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it for whatever reason, so you continued what you were doing, jerking him off slowly until you saw precum seeping out of his tip. You grinned before licking it up suddenly. Jisung groaned and jerked again, his hands reaching to touch you before they retreated to his sweatshirt again. You watched him through your lashes as you replaced your fist with your mouth wrapped around his tip, your cheeks hollowing before you sunk down. His body couldn’t keep still. Even though you were trapped between his knees, his legs were desperately trying to close in around your shoulders, and his feet were tapping against the carpet at the same fast pace that his long, veiny fingers were fiddling with his sweatshirt.
As you came up for air, your hand pumped him slowly, and you asked with a grin, “Is this okay?”
He nodded desperately. “Please don’t stop.”
You obliged his pathetic plea, your mouth sinking back down, taking in his entire length until your nose bumped his shaved pubic bone. He whimpered like a wounded puppy, but his hips bucked up gently to encourage you to keep going. So you did. You found a steady rhythm switching between sucking him off and jerking him off, making sure to swallow every bit of sticky pre-cum he leaked into your mouth. He was covered in drool, but he didn’t seem to mind since it provided more lubrication for you to go faster and faster, prying the cutest, most pitiful moans you had ever heard in your entire life. Honestly, by the looks and sounds coming from him, he wasn’t going to last much longer. Virgins. They were always the most sensitive and eager to cum quickly.
“Gidarida— Ssibal, I’m cumming, fuck—”
There it was.
Jisung bit his lip and bucked up into your mouth while holding your head down. With his strong hold on you, all you could really do was use your tongue to rub against his cock while he rode out his orgasm. The amount of cum that filled your mouth was slightly surprising— You tried your best to swallow, but you were running out of air, until he finally released you, giving you a chance to lift up and breathe before cleaning up the mess dripping down his length. He slumped with an exhausted grunt.
After catching his breath for a moment, he opened his eyes to look down at you while you were wiping your lips with your thumb. “Are you okay?”
You nodded with a smile. “Yeah.”
“Sorry if I… Um… If you couldn’t breathe…”
You laughed out loud. “I’m fine, I promise. Did it feel good?”
Jisung blushed a bright color of red while nodding. He lifted his hips so that he could put his pants back on before raising his hood over his shaggy black hair.
When he noticed you moving to stand on your feet, Jisung leaned forward to offer his hands for you, which you gladly took, using his strength and leverage to push yourself up; However, once you were up, Jisung didn’t move you to the couch like you wanted, nor did he start leading you towards the front door like you half expected. No, Jisung acted like a gentleman, leading you to the bed where he had you sit down comfortably.
“I have some clean clothes you can wear if you want to be more comfortable,” he offered shyly.
Now it was your turn to stare like a deer lost in headlights. Why was he offering his clothes to you? How could he offer up something like that so freely— Then again, maybe wearing his clothes was more tame than sucking him off after only just meeting him for the first time.
“Sure.”
Jisung turned to his suitcase on the luggage rack and he began digging around for some clothes.
“And I’ll take you up on that water now,” you croaked.
Jisung nodded obediently, rushing to the mini fridge to grab a bottle before handing it to you then going back to looking for clothes. He ended up retrieving one of the merch shirts available at the stadium earlier— One that you actually bought despite your achingly empty wallet— and a pair of gray sweats eerily similar to his. After handing the clothes to you, he whispered something about going to wash his face in the bathroom in the meantime. You watched as Jisung timidly scurried to the bathroom, closing the door behind him, either for his privacy or his own, you weren't too sure, and then you heard the sink running. For a good thirty seconds, you were paralyzed on the bed, holding his clothes in your hands, staring at the couch you’d just given him a blowjob on. Jisung Park had only kissed four people in his lifetime, and  you were one of them. Even worse, you were the first and only person to ever suck him off… The first and only person to ever make him cum… What the fuck…
You forced yourself out of your trance of disbelief so that you could change before he was done. You folded your own clothes neatly since you’d probably have to wear them out of the hotel later, but you kept your underwear and bra on for safety purposes. Besides, it was his clothes you were wearing, you felt too awkward to go completely naked underneath. And as you were taking down your hair, you heard the water shut off followed by Jisung asking if he could come out. When you told him it was safe, the door reopened and he stepped out.
He gulped when he saw you. “You really are very pretty.”
To hide your blush, you drank from the water bottle he gave you. Jisung moved across the hotel room, initiating the next segment of the night where he laid on his side in the messy bed, leaving plenty of space for you while he watched you anticipatingly.
“I thought you didn’t want to fuck.”
“I don’t,” he said with the most amount of confidence you’d heard from him all night, even in comparison to when he was on stage. “I just don’t want you to leave yet. Is that okay?”
The way you easily slid into bed, setting the water bottle down on the bedside table, was enough of an answer, but you still entertained him with a quiet, “That’s okay.”
Jisung shifted as you both worked to pull the covers up your torsos to keep warm. “I was going to wear that shirt for sound check tomorrow,” he admitted with a nervous chuckle. “It was the only clean one I had left.” You panicked, immediately sitting up to take it off while apologizing for being an inconvenience, but Jisung reached out to stop you. Both of you paused with his hands on your wrists. “It’s okay. I like seeing you wear it better.”
You looked away from him due to your own self-consciousness as you laid back down with him.
Both of you settled in the bed comfortably, his elbow propped on his pillow so that his hand could hold up his head while he stared at you. Part of you was too overwhelmed to look at him. Mere hours ago you’d been cheering at his concert as a stranger, and now he knew your name, and you’d sucked his cock. You weren’t really strangers anymore. But you weren’t friends or something other than that either. You were just an awkward one night stand that he would remember as “that one time in a hotel on tour” the next time some lucky girl would ask for his history before taking his virginity. Whoever she would be, she was damn lucky, and she didn’t even know it yet… It was a shame it couldn’t be you, honestly. Not because he was an idol you loved, but because he was so adorable, and hot, and well-equiped to fuck you. The idea of teaching him everything there was to know about fucking a girl, corrupting his innocent, bashful mind made you wet, but you had to clench your legs shut to make sure he wouldn’t find out or get suspicious after you’d change out of his clothes. Whenever that would be. Did he expect you to stay the night? Why else would he give you his clothes? What would the morning look like? What would everything after the morning look like?
“Have you ever thought about visiting Korea?”
You shrugged. “Sometimes. I don’t have money like that though. Not yet, at least. Maybe one day I can go— I always wanted to see a concert there.” You giggled at the thought.
Jisung smiled back at you, his hand falling out from under him so that his cheek could hit the pillow while he continued to stare. He didn’t say anything else. You waited for him to instigate another conversation, and you wished that you could think of something to talk to him about aside from idol life or his personal life. You weren’t sure what was appropriate. But by the time you decided to ask him if he had any pets, Jisung was sound asleep next to you, a content smile still plastered to his face. You smirked and brushed his bangs out of his face.
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sourrpatched · 4 hours
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38. Long Chat (wrdc 1.7k)
You put the pot in your hand down recognizing the man in front of you. “Oh my god what are you doing here?” You said sharply. “I thought you went out with the rest of them.”
“No, I stayed behind to clear some thoughts.” He said with his arms still up as a shield protecting himself. “You put the pot down right?”
“Yeah you’re safe.”
He let out a breath he was holding putting his arms down. There was an awkward silence as you both stood looking at one another. You had planned on holding off talking as much as you could but it seems like the world had other plans for you.
“I’m sorry for bothering you, i’ll just head back to my room so I don’t get in your way anymore.” Jaemin said with a forced smile. He turned away but before he could get away you spoke.
“Wait.” He stopped in his tracks. “Can we talk?”
The best part of summer in jeju island was that once the sun went down so did the temperature. Hot afternoons became bearable, and the atmosphere was warm in a way where people would spend the whole night out partying. You’d had enough of that since two nights ago, so here sat you and Jaemin on some beach chairs beside the pool at the beach house with left over beers from the fridge on a table.
It was quiet as you both sat admiring the light reflecting from the water in the pool. You could tell Jaemin felt uneasy, he had opened his own can of beer about five minutes ago and still hadn’t taken a sip. You felt guilty even though you were the one who had pulled him for a chat in the first place.
You took in a breath before ripping off the bandaid, figuratively of course. “Jaem, I’m sorry.” He looked at you puzzled but before he could speak you continued. “I was kind of avoiding you and I realize that it wasn’t fair to do but I really just needed a moment to get my head together.”
He gave you a genuine nod. “You don’t have to explain yourself, i’m sorry for expecting anything to happen between us.” He could hardly look you in the eye.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m just really sorry. I like you a lot but I should know better than to pressure you into anything more than just being friends.” He stared down at the ground and though the lighting was limited, you swear you could see his eyes begin to water.
“Jaem–“
“I understand you not wanting to talk anymore. Don’t worry, when we get back i’ll put in my two weeks notice and I’ll get out of your hair.” His voice came out broken and he still refused to meet your gaze. He slowly began to sit up from his seat.
“Jaemin wait.” You pulled his arm keeping him from walking away. He turned to face you though he looked everywhere else but at you. You could tell there were tears welling up. “What’s this really about?”
He only shook his head taking a deep breath. “I’m really sorry.” You grabbed onto his face pulling his attention from the ground to yourself. “Hey, it’s okay please just tell me what happened.”
“Woah, what a fucking bitch.” You sat down, feet in the pool while Jaemin sat next to you.
He let out a dry laugh. “She wasn’t wrong.”
You felt a surge of anger, how dare she ever make this man feel anything other than happy. “Jaemin, she was very wrong.” He looked at you then.
“Ever since i’ve met you, you’ve been nothing but helpful. Every movie we’ve watched together, every volleyball game we played, even walks on the beach you’ve been the best company I could ask for.” You could see the smallest doubt in his face so you continued.
“Jaemin, do you know why I’ve been avoiding you? It had nothing to do with you, it was because I needed a moment where I could reflect on the new feelings i’ve had ever since i’ve met you.” He looked confused. “I had to talk to Jaehyun because even though I once loved him I needed closure so that I could move on and pursue the feelings i’ve had for you for a while now.”
You felt your face get warm at your blatant confession. “Me and Jaehyun would never be able to work ever again. When he left me to pursue his career one part of me felt like I hated him for leaving me and the other part only felt guilty that I wanted him to choose me over his career.”
“That’s not your fault. You loved him. It’s no wonder you wanted him to stay with you.” He gave you a sympathetic look.
“Yeah and I can say the same for you. It’s not your fault that I was avoiding you. I realize I was only pushing you away because I was scared to lose you the way I lost Jaehyun only it mattered more because the way I feel about you hasn’t ever been the way I felt for him.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you, Na Jaemin, are enough to me. You’re more than enough for me. I didn’t notice it before because it was so different but I like you. My heart beats every time you’re around, I look for you the moment you’re not by my side, and I even find myself jealous when you’re laughing with Hyuck instead of me.”
He lets out a laugh, “Hyuck?”
“Don’t even ever mention that to him.” You covered your face, full of embarrassment. His hand reached out to yours this time uncovering your face.
“Hey, look at me.”
You opened one eye at a time, still too shy to meet his eyes. He smiled at you this time very genuine. It only made your face hotter and this time you couldn’t blame it on the alcohol.
“I like you Y/N. Ever since the first time we met I couldn’t help but feel like I was drawn to you. I wasn’t even jealous of you and Jaehyun,” He paused for a moment, “Okay, well I was a bit when I found out he wrote a whole song for you but that’s it.”
You let out a chuckle. “I heard it. Very nice song but I don’t think that’s enough to rekindle anything. I don’t think I could feel anything for anyone but you.”
He blushed at your words. “Dammit I was supposed to be the romantic one.”
“Right, please continue.”
“The point is, I was scared that you didn’t feel the same. I’m always scared that i’ll do something that’ll change how people feel towards me but I think i’m willing to take that risk if it means I can be with you in the moment.”
“All i’m hearing is you’re so down bad for me.” You say teasingly.
“I’m glad you’re finally catching on.”
You can’t help but really take in the moment. Here you are right on the edge of a pool, the moon shining down on the two of you. A part of you is really happy that the world had you face him earlier than you planned, who knows how that talk would’ve played out before.
You can feel his gaze on you and it only makes you giddy. There’s no use holding back anything anymore so you move closer to Jaemin. “The moon is beautiful tonight isn’t it?”
“If the moon in question is you, then it’s always been.” You’re unsure when the gap became smaller between the two of you but here you are looking him in the eyes. Jaemin quickly glances at your lips and you smile knowing exactly what’s next.
“You gonna keep staring or actually do something?” Within a second he clears the space between the two of you catching your lips on his. You can feel the softness of his mouth as he kisses you so gently and intimately.
You pull back looking him in the eye still feeling the lingering effect of his lips. He looks lost in your gaze. Liking his lips while smiling to himself. His smile is quickly replaced with shock the second you playfully push him into the pool. You jump in afterwards poking your head out of the water only to find him smiling at you.
“What was that for?”
“I’m sorry I had a burst of cuteness aggression and pushed you too hard.” You say laughing. He joins you in your laughter pulling you closer to him in the pool.
“You’re lucky you’re so cute.”
“I’m also lucky to have you. We’re dating now by the way.” You say straight forward.
“Of course, but just so you know there’s no getting rid of me.”
“Hmm there’s not even a thirty day return policy?” You tap your finger on your chin playfully.
“Nope,” He says popping the p, “All sales final.” He pulls you in for another kiss. You can’t help but smile into it, this time he’s much more desperate with the way he kisses you. As if he’d been wanting you his entire life.
You feel his tongue tease your lip asking for permission to deepen it. He’s kissing you so much more passionately than before, you feel like you’re drowning in him which is ironic considering you were both standing in a pool at the moment.
Right when you feel like you have no more room to breathe he pulls away. You let out a small whine at the loss, cringing at the way he was able to pull that noise out of you.
“I think they’re back already.”
“What?” You’re lost in thought before realizing he meant the rest of your friends made it back to the beach house.
Ugh so much for alone time.
“We should get out and shower, don’t wanna get sick from being in the pool this late at night.”
You groan at the thought of leaving him. “I’m not ready to let you go.”
He lets out a small chuckle. “It’ll only be for a moment, unless you’re looking to shower together?” He raises his eyebrows at you.
You roll your eyes shoving him away. “You freaking perv.”
“Hey you suggested it.”
“Ugh well you’re my boyfriend so I guess i’m stuck with this now anyway.”
He giggles softly, “Boyfriend yeah? Could you say it again?”
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A/N ➼ late chapter but i hope u guys enjoy it! btw i’m debating on if i’ll be participating in some fun october posts but we will see 🤔
taglist: @yyangj3lly @junviadinho @pnkified @mystverse @daegalfangirl @girlz4jaem @222brainrot @multifandomania @hamjwis @nanaxwi @haechansbbg @lampcults @urlocalbeaner5 @onlyhyunjin @neoskzluvr @pastelzindecana @nctrawberries @tommina @sunghoonsgfreal @rakshithanotrao @chaerinmin @injunnie-lemon @neocults26 @busy-daydreaming02 @nosungluv @alethea-moon @candied-czennie @iamsimplyasimp @channnaa @hyuck-me @clean-soap @nessaassen02 @lionzyon @neozon3nha @stqrgr7 @scarredrose25 @polarisjisung @l4narecl1pse @minniesbae
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fleshengine · 3 days
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What happened to your friend does sound awful, but it doesn't sound like something that's actually unique to trans women. Someone making false claims after a bad breakup and people believing claims of victimization are fairly normal occurrences across the board, especially since people do generally believe it's praxis to believe all victims immediately. The fact that your friends came around in a matter of days is a better than average result.
Hi Velvet, I think this is the second or third time you've come on to one of my posts where I talked about transmisogyny and tagged it as such. Those posts don't get a ton of traction, do you just like... patrol the transmisogyny tag or something?
Anyway I do not feel a need to clarrify myself to you. But I will add that there were a lot of details that I didn't add to the post, stuff I will not be discussing, that solidifies my belief that it was an example of transmisogyny. I'm not at liberty to talk about some of it, and for the rest I honestly just do not care enough to defend myself to you. I lived my life and you read a rant about it.
That aside, do you know how many transfems I know who have been made out to be rapists/mentally ill after they broke up with their partners? Do you want me to list all the normal occurences across the board that have made me personally terrified to show others intimacy? Why is it that when someone says "that trans girl is a rapist!" people believe her but when trans girls say "we keep getting called rapists, this sucks" we get people like you telling us that it's normal to be made out into a charicature and systematically cut off from your entire social group?
Now that I've got that out of the way, let's dig into your word choice.
"What happened to your friend" this voice is so passive it's going 45 in a 50. "What that guy did to your friend" is much more direct and active, that's a sentence fragment that drinks orange juice with its breakfast. I probably would've accepted "what was done to your friend" because even though it's passive it still emphasizes that someone did something wrong. But you didn't even do that. Instead you completely removed the idea of fault from the equation, no one did it, nothing caused it, it was divine intervention that my friend nearly lost their entire support network.
"does sound awful" it doesn't sound like anything. It is awful, through and through. I hate the man that did it even though my friend has forgiven him.
"better than average result" average what? Messy breakup or transfem targetting rumor mill? It was a better than average result, I can attest to the average and it's not good. I'm glad I was there to sway people back to reality.
Moving on, you only addressed one of the two things I mentioned. I said "break up with a trans woman and unperson her" and "unperson any trans woman who's minorly annoying." You completely skipped the whole "a guy tried to tell people I was a gaslighter because I asked him to stop calling my friend a sociopath" bit. The post wasn't even saying that what happened was specifically transmisogynistic (it was), I was literally just talking about how stuff I was hearing mapped onto my life.
I also find it interesting, how you put this in an ask instead of a reblog. A reblog puts whatever I said on your account, an account I've heard you regularly use to support transmisogynists. I'm happy to talk to you more, genuinely I like to argue and you seem interesting enough. But I want what I say on your account. I'm not going to respond to another ask or reblog on this one until you reblog the original. Here I even got you a link.
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clarisse0o · 2 days
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Camp Wiegman-Part 81
Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle
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Alternative Universe: Military School
Words: 5K
Masterlist
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Sunday, April 17th; 2:30 PM - Porto Beach.
“So, how’s it going with your in-laws?”
I’m gazing at the horizon when Alexia's question drops. We decided to have a relaxing day for this first day of vacation in Porto. Jenni is exhausted from the work at the gym, and she wanted us to start off slowly... Well, as slowly as we can, I guess. Alexia and I are soaking up the sun on our towels, while Lucy and Jenni have decided to play a game of volleyball not far from us. It’s hot today for an autumn day, so it’s the perfect opportunity. The beach isn’t crowded, but the sun has brought out a few people anyway. I get it. It’s nice to enjoy this unexpected warmth.
“Well... I had a strange conversation with my mother-in-law this morning.”
“Really? Was it at least in a good way?”
“Oh yes, yes. She straight up told me, ‘Welcome to the family, Ona,’” I mimic in a deeper voice.
Alexia bursts out laughing and props herself up on her elbows. She looks at me through her sunglasses.
“Oh wow, that’s classic. Honestly, you didn’t land the best mother-in-law... Jenni’s parents are lovely compared to her.”
“They seemed pretty nice last night, that’s true. Is it going well with them?”
“Totally, yeah. They’re adorable to me. According to them, I’m her longest relationship... I didn’t know how to take that.”
“I can imagine.”
I laugh before we lapse into a silence. I gaze at the sky where a few clouds are floating, but not enough to cover the sun. It’s strong today. I had to put on sunscreen just in case. With my fair skin, I burn quickly.
“You look like something’s bothering you.”
I sigh and turn my head in her direction. Unlike me, O seems to tan easily. I’m a bit jealous of that. I wish it would happen to me too.
“I think Lucy is hiding something from me.”
She furrows her brow.
“Go on. Why do you think that?”
“She made some vague comments last week, and she’s been acting weird since we got here.”
“Really? I don’t find her behavior different.”
“She’s tense, and I don’t know. I can tell something is bothering her.”
“And do you think there’s a particular reason?”
“I think she went through something here that she’s trying to hide... Or maybe forget. I don’t really know. She barely talked to me about her life here.”
“You sound pretty sure of yourself.”
“It’s a gut feeling. Maybe I’m wrong.”
“Well, ask her.”
“It’s more complicated than that. I don’t want to push her, you know. I feel like she thinks whatever she reveals will change everything between us.”
“That’s silly.”
“Yeah... I know, right?”
I groan and lie down on my stomach. I’m trying to alternate so I get some color on both sides. My friend quickly follows my lead, sighing at the same time.
“I don’t know what to say. Maybe there’s nothing at all. It’s just a feeling, after all.”
“Hmm.”
I’d like to believe that’s the case too. Unfortunately, I don’t think it is.
“And what about you? How did it go between Jenni and Alba? And the party we missed? Was it good?”
She laughs and nods her head. I rest my head on my arms, making sure I can still keep my eyes on her.
“Surprisingly, everything went well. Maybe our big fight wasn’t for nothing. Alba was calm.”
“That’s great!”
“Oh yes, totally. It was a bit tense during their first meeting at the party. Jenni wasn’t comfortable at all at first. Not only did she have to face Alba, but it was also the first time she saw all her students again as my girlfriend, you know?”
“It’s hard to picture her feeling uncomfortable, though.”
I tease, but Lucy reacts the same way. It must be strange for them.
“She was, I swear,” she teases back. “It was funny to see.”
“I bet. Anyway, I’m glad everything’s going well for you. So, how did it go?”
“My sister was cool. She was also a bit tense, but everything went well. They shook hands and, as the evening went on, they started talking.”
“Like, big sister talk?”
“No, no. Alba was genuinely interested in her. Like, she wanted to get to know the person I’m with, you know?”
“Wow. Cool. And our friends? How did they react when they saw Jenni?”
“Shocked,” she laughs. “They didn’t understand anything until they connected it with the school story. No one saw it coming.”
“I can imagine. And last week? Did you all stay together as planned? I think that’s what Alba wanted.”
“Yes. Misa and her helped us out with the gym. I think Alba appreciated that she had such an ambitious project. Plus, it seems like playing tough girl bonds them together. They even managed to laugh together.”
I giggle, burying my head in my arms.
“Well, that’s good then... Everything’s finally falling into place.”
“Yeah. We’ve made so much progress, you and Lucy are going to be surprised. Some furniture is already in place now. It’s totally different from when you left. Oh, and, you were right about one thing. Misa isn’t so bad after all.”
I laugh heartily. She finally understood. Her week must have been interesting. I almost regret not being there.
“I know,” I replied.
I have to admit I’m quite surprised after Alba’s outburst when he overreacted. He managed to reassess himself before the meeting. That’s good. Things are getting back to normal. It was about time.
“But still, something was missing.”
“Oh yeah? What?”
“You and Lucy, of course! I can’t wait for school to be over so she can finally spend time with them. You two were really missed at the party.”
“There are only three weeks left now. We’ll manage to hold out for what’s left.”
“Definitely.”
“Just three more weeks...”
I sigh and close my eyes, burying my head between my arms again. All’s well that ends well, finally. I feel reassured. I can go back to relaxing. However, this peace doesn’t last long. After just a few minutes of tranquility, a wet body comes to lie against mine. I gasp at the coldness it brings. When I open my eyes, I spot some brown strands mingling with my blonde hair. I have nothing to worry about when her lips come to kiss my neck.
“You’re wet,” I mumble, making my girlfriend laugh.
“Sorry, I wanted to cool off before hiding your body.”
“Hiding it, huh?” I giggle.
“Well, yes. A group of guys has been watching you a little too closely for a while now.”
“Oh really? Then it’s better to chase them away,” I tease.
“Exactly. Make some room for me.”
“You really can’t just take your towel, can you?”
I grumble, but I still move to the side to let her lie under me. I half-drop onto her with a sigh of contentment. Actually, no. It’s more comfortable this way. Lucy giggles as she wraps her arms around me.
“No, I can’t. You’re starting to get sunburned, though. Are you sure you’re from Portugal?” she laughs.
“Put some more sunscreen on me instead of teasing.”
“Anything for my princess.”
She wiggles around to grab it from our bag above our heads. Once she gets it, she spreads some in her hands before rubbing it on my back. I enjoy her little caresses as she applies the lotion.
“Thanks,” I murmur.
“It’s my pleasure.”
“So, guys, what are we doing tonight?” Ale asks.
“It’s already planned,” Jenni announces.
“Oh yeah? And what is it?” she asks curiously.
- "Well, that’s up to Lucy to ask."
- "Oh, so you’re doing things behind my back now?"
- "Nonsense. I had the idea, and Jenni approved it this morning," she defends herself.
- "And what’s this idea?"
- "Well... I thought of you. I remembered that you like football matches, and there happens to be one tonight."
- "A football match?" Alexia comments. "What a great idea! It’s been ages since I’ve seen one! Did you get the tickets?"
- "Yes, this morning..."
I smile at Lucy, who's been watching me the whole time. I can tell she’s gauging my reaction. The last time I went to a stadium was with my father.
- "That’s a great idea," I tell her.
I kiss her to accompany my words, and I can feel her relax immediately. Her arms tighten around me, and I rest my head against her chest. I smile at Alexia, who has a small smirk.
- "Well, you two look even closer than before... It was already hard to top that, but now..."
I chuckle softly, snuggling against Lucy. She’s right. I think we’ve reached a point in our relationship where there’s no turning back. If a breakup ever happened, it would be devastating.
- "Hmm... You’re right."
- "What did you do in Lisbon last week?"
- "Not much," Lucy replies. "Lots of rest, hikes, and evenings at the beach."
- "Hmm, hmm..."
Her smile grows, and I roll my eyes with a small laugh. I have a feeling she’s going to grill me when we’re alone.
- "Hey, there’s an ice cream vendor passing by. Do you want one?" Lucy offers.
It seems like I’m not the only one trying to dodge the conversation, which makes me laugh again.
- "Good idea, I’ll go with you."
- "Yeah, go ahead, run away instead of telling us what’s changed so much between you two!"
We laugh heartily at Alexia's playful shout as we walk away. I kiss Lucy, who holds me tightly with her arm around my shoulders.
- "I love you," she whispers to me while I’m still giggling.
Sunday, April 17; 9:45 PM - Stadium.
Everyone is shouting around us, Alexia being the loudest. The atmosphere is wild. I don’t remember it being this intense. Lucy had a great idea, and I’m so glad we’re here right now. She’s the best girlfriend. I never thought she’d remember such a small detail I’d told her a long time ago. It’s just a league match, but the fans are giving their all for their team.
- "I can’t believe it! How did she miss such an easy chance!?"
- "I didn’t know she liked football this much," I whisper to my girlfriend.
She laughs, watching my friend who’s now standing, fuming. She’s one of those people who hate when the home team is losing by just one goal.
- "Me neither."
- "Pff! Unbelievable," Alexia says as she sits back down beside me.
- "Sweetheart, maybe you should calm down a bit," Jenni tries to soothe her.
I can’t hold in my laughter anymore, and neither can Lucy. This scene is just too funny. It seems I’m also witnessing a very uncomfortable Jenni.
- "But seriously! Even I could do better than them!" she says, crossing her arms.
- "Oh, really?" I tease.
- "Hey, don’t laugh. I played football for a long time in high school. The only issue was that we kept changing schools."
She crosses her arms and continues sulking.
- "Oh, I didn’t mean to upset you," I giggle. "I didn’t know you played football."
- "Well, now you know. But seriously, this amateur team can’t even equalize," she continues with exaggerated gestures.
This time I burst out laughing. She’s clearly making our night.
- "We really need to think of bringing her along every time we go to a match," I say to Lucy.
- "Oh no, please don’t," Jenni begs from her other side.
The poor girl’s going to have to endure this for a while longer. Halftime eventually arrives. Lucy and Jenni had left a bit earlier to grab something to eat since we hadn’t stopped anywhere before. Alexia has finally calmed down, though she’s clearly upset that her team hasn’t managed to close the gap.
- "So, are you finally going to tell me what’s up with you and Lucy?" she asks.
- "Tell you what?"
- "Don’t play innocent," she says with a mischievous grin. "Something’s different, I can feel it."
- "There’s nothing special, I assure you," I giggle. "I think being away from school has been good for us."
- "Did you tell her about Feli? You know... what she doesn’t know yet."
- "Briefly, yes. She had a feeling, but she cut me off. I think she doesn’t want to know, and that’s fine with me."
- "So, Mapi was wrong in the end."
I chuckle and nod.
- "She doesn’t need to know. Otherwise, she’d be upset."
- "Mum’s the word, I promise," she says with a wink.
I smile sincerely at her. There are perks to being close to two friends at once. If I can’t tell one something, I can tell the other.
- "The important thing is that you were able to let it out. I’ve never seen you so relaxed. You’re at peace."
- "She’s made me feel at peace," I reply.
- "Have you been able to enjoy her company?" she asks, raising her eyebrows suggestively, making me laugh.
- "Stop," I say, blushing.
- "What? You’re not going to get shy about this now, are you?"
- "And what about you and Jenni?"
- "Oh no, no, no. This isn’t about us. Your situation is more complicated."
I roll my eyes. Well, she’s not wrong, but she doesn’t need to remind me. To make her think otherwise, I respond:
- "Well, actually, this trip has been very... fruitful. We’ve enjoyed ourselves... especially in the evenings."
- "Really?" she says, surprised.
- "Oh yes. Lucy is a goddess," I admit, blushing again as I think back to our nights together.
She laughs loudly.
- "Wow... She must have really put you in some kind of state for you to blush like that."
- "Stop, it’s not funny."
- "It’s crazy, though."
- "What is?"
- "Well, a few months ago, she hated me for getting her best friend kicked out. Now she’s dating a student, and we’re even spending time together at her place. I seriously never saw that coming."
- "I believe you."
- "I’m so glad you came to the school. It’s the best thing that could have happened to me. Not only do I have a best friend now, but you’ve completely changed my circle. Everything could have been so different without you."
I smile sincerely at her. I totally understand what she means.
- "I know exactly what you mean. If I hadn’t come here, I’d probably still be in my room, feeling sorry for myself. Or who knows, maybe I’d have left home again to go back to drugs."
- "Don’t say that. I don’t think you would’ve sunk that low."
- "You’re wrong. I think I would have. I had nothing to hold on to before. Now I have Lucy, Mapi, you, and everyone else. And let’s not even talk about my future. I never would have worked in the arts without Lucy."
- "As they say, ‘if’ changes the world. We were lucky that only good things came our way. Not everyone gets that."
- "That’s true," I sigh. "In the end, the school has every reason to exist. It really does work miracles."
Alexia laughs, nodding in agreement. Unlike me, she’s believed in this from the start, but I’m only realizing it now. It’s a good thing it exists. When you're surrounded by good people, everything changes. You lose that hatred for the world. You only see the good. That’s how I feel right now.
- "Do you already know if you’re going to meet Lucy’s family? Jenni told me they all live nearby and that she’s close to them. She thinks you’ll be meeting them soon."
- "Are you reading their minds or something?"
- "Why do you say that?" she teases.
- "When we got back from the beach to change before meeting you, her parents told us they’re organizing a big barbecue. They want me to meet everyone."
- "Really? That’s cool."
- "Yeah... I hope you’ll be invited. That way, you can support me."
- "Oh, I don’t think you need to worry."
- "You just said she’s close to them. What if they don’t like me? What do I do?"
- "Well, nothing at all," she giggles. "Lucy loves you. She’s not going to leave you over that."
- "Hmm..."
"Don’t make that face. I’m sure they’re going to love you. »
- We’ll see.
- You managed to win over her mother in just one day. I think you’ll be able to handle the rest of her family, right?
- Yeah… You’re probably right.
To be honest, her mother is quite something. Even Alexia noticed it after just one meal with her.
- Anyway, all that matters is that Lucy loves you. She’ll never let them bring you down. She doesn’t let anyone do that.
I sigh softly. Now that I think about it, she’s right. Lucy always takes my side, as long as I’m doing the right thing.
- Is she just as nervous about meeting your family? Because she’s going with you to your mother’s wedding, right?
- Yes, but I don’t think so. She hasn’t mentioned it. On the other hand, she’s more anxious about meeting my friends. Well, she already knows them, but you know… being the “commander” and all, she’s not exactly at ease.
- That’s strange, I think… I’ve been thinking since you talked to me this afternoon.
- About what?
- Well, you know, about that feeling you have regarding Lucy.
- And?
- Well, we’re in their hometown, right? What did you do the first time you went home during your first leave?
- Uh…
I frown, trying to remember. I’m not sure where she’s going with this, but I’ll play along.
- I spent time with Mapi, and we went out the next night.
- Exactly. They lived here until at least high school. Don’t you find it odd that Lucy or even Jenni never talk about their friends here? Of course, they have friends in Manchester, but they should have some here too, right?
The thought strikes me. Indeed, Lucy has never mentioned her friends. There’s Jenni, of course, but that’s it. Otherwise, she only talks about her family.
- Hasn’t Jenni ever talked to you about it either? I asked her.
- Well, no, but I’d never thought about it before. Only after what you said this afternoon.
I nod.
- It is strange, indeed...
- I’ll help you investigate if you want, but for now, we’d better change the subject. They’re coming back.
- Thanks, but it won’t be necessary. I’m sure Lucy will talk to me about it when she feels the need.
I turn to see them climbing the stairs. When they reach us, we stand up to let Jenni sit next to her girlfriend. I sit back down at the same time as Lucy, taking my drink and hot dog from her.
- Thank you, that’s sweet.
I give her a kiss, which she accepts with a smile I can feel against my lips. I appreciate that we still show affection for little things. It really expresses our feelings.
- You’re welcome.
- We almost got caught, comments Jenni. There were already a lot of people.
- It’s fine, the second half hasn’t started yet.
- Well, just barely, I point out to them.
The players are returning to the field. It’s crazy how everyone’s eyes are glued to their seats.
- Cool! Finally.
- Please, babe. Try to calm down. Our neighbors are going to lose their patience at this rate.
It’s true that we’ve had several disapproving looks between Alexia’s shouts and our laughter.
- Hmm… Anyway, I’m hungry, she says, taking a bite of her hot dog.
We eat ours while watching the second half. Alexia seems to have taken the hint because she remains much calmer during this time. Maybe it’s because the team managed to equalize as soon as they came back. It’s past eleven when the match finally ends. Everyone is in high spirits, singing along after the team’s victory. Alexia is in total euphoria.
- They fought like tigers! It was amazing.
- So, there’s no stopping her, I tease softly.
- At least she brings good vibes.
I snuggle closer to Lucy, who keeps me close against her. A huge crowd has formed to exit the stadium. It’s a good way to avoid getting lost on our way out.
- We could still go for a drink, my friend suggests.
- Oh, it’s almost midnight, her girlfriend points out. We’re all exhausted.
She looks at us for support. She really seems drained. After all, she’s been working non-stop to get the gym ready to open on time. It must be something, considering she still works another job to cover her rent.
- Well… Why not? Lucy responds. Our car is downtown anyway. Unless you’re too tired, Jenni.
- You’re abandoning me now? I thought we were supposed to stick together!
My girlfriend chuckles softly.
- Sorry, but I thought it was a good idea.
- Come on, babe, Ale pleads. You’re not going to be a party pooper, are you? Even Lucy said yes!
She sighs, running a hand over her head.
- We won’t stay long, I assure her.
- Fine, she mutters. Let’s go then. But I really don’t want to stay out late. I won’t be able to keep up all week otherwise.
- You’re amazing! I promise we won’t stay long!
She leads the way, almost skipping. Lucy laughs at Jenni’s exasperated look.
- Really, Lucy? What’s gotten into you?
- Oh come on, relax. It’s just a beer. You’ll have time to sleep tomorrow morning.
- Hmm. You’ll pay for this.
I smile as I watch them closely. I know they’re close, but I think I’m starting to understand why now… I just don’t know the reasons yet. I hope Lucy will tell me soon, otherwise I’m not sure I’ll be able to resist investigating, and I doubt she’ll appreciate that.
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asharkapologist · 2 days
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Fandom Opinion Chart + Explanations Under the Cut
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I love Giulietta, it's as simple as that,,, her character growth from her selfish attitude towards her sister before the game, to trying to make her way into high society, to returning to her roots but finding love in a man supposed to be her enemy, to trying to stop the gang war that takes almost everything from her, to later leading a resistance against a dictator is incredible to watch. She's the real main character of Crimson Banks and Capital Peak idc. She endures so so much heartache, I cried both times I played In Love and War, that case genuinely makes me feel ill, and yet she manages to get back up because she's just that strong. I hope she was happy after the game ended.
On the other hand, I despise Jack. He makes several sexist comments throughout the game (I've half a mind to compile them to prove my point), and I have no idea how someone as immature and annoying as him managed to get a job in Interpol. His relationship drama with Asal is insufferable to sit through, and the way he constantly whines about her in South America and North America months after they broke up made me want to throw my phone, especially with the awful way he treats her after she's stabbed and almost died. And then in Travel in Time, he's just boring.
I initially didn't like Samson at first because he killed one of my favorite characters for a stupid reason (accompanied by a confusing message--how was Malcolm supposed to know Archie's death was targeted towards him?) but now I love him because his plan was so dumb and he's fun to meme on and he's REALLY hot.
Nebet is like my favorite main antagonist and it's so sad that she's gone for like two whole districts because even though I saw it coming, her betrayal HURT. Like 99% of s6's writing effort went into her, and she would have been a good antagonist even if she hadn't returned after killing her father, but the fact that she comes back and kills her younger self because she changed in exile makes her such an interesting character. I want to know so much about her, her thoughts while she was working with the team, and especially her epiphanies in exile, how she changed in exile and decided to turn against her parents and their goals. That's incredible fanfic material. She's also incredibly beautiful just LOOK AT HER.
Trevor Finn sucks. Fake af shark "expert" who probably just gave himself that title after watching Jaws but never bothered doing any research about sharks because he just spews misinformation and stereotypes about sharks that aren't true. For some reason, Pacific Bay really hated sharks. But other than that, there's not much else to mention about him, when with Jack I at least have stuff to complain about.
I realllly don't like Rozetta and do NOT think she was redeemed, even if Denise was a greater evil. I feel like people brush over the fact that she was KIDNAPPING AND TORTURING HOMELESS PEOPLE TO DEATH. She abducted who knows how many people and conducted horrific, torturous human experimentation on them that only one person (Zoe) survived, and nothing indicated she felt any remorse for those crimes, she only started fighting against Denise when Denise betrayed her and her friends. And even though Zoe escaped, Rozetta started the chain of events that led to Zoe's death. However, that being said, Rozetta is really, really pretty.
Archie is a millionaire and yet he dresses so drab. Lawson isn't as rich as Archie, and yet he dresses more fancy. Also Archie's collar looks weird and like his tie would be strangling him or something
I don't really talk about Penelope, but she (besides Nebet) is my favorite main character of s6! I relate to her a lot because we both like history and writing. I think we'd get along great talking to each other about story ideas, fangirling about fandoms, and talking about history.
Seamus x Giulietta is my favorite because Giulietta is my favorite character and I'm a sucker for tragic, star-crossed lovers. Got really emotionally attached to them even though I knew they wouldn't have a happy ending. Honorable mentions go to Arthur x Bernadine, Archie x Elisa, and Hope x Gwen.
Speaking of Hope x Gwen, they should have been canon instead of Gwen x Pierce. I hate this ship so much. Hope and Gwen had much more chemistry, and the FIRST DISTRICT in s7 proved why Gwen and Pierce wouldn't work out, and then out of nowhere Pierce shows up??? And gets back with Gwen randomly??? Huh??? And they have a kid??? Why. Hope was RIGHT THERE if you wanted someone to comfort Gwen after her mother's death and the complicated relationship she had with her.
I also don't talk about her as much as I should, but I love Priya! I love her character arc, her relationship with Zander is very sweet and well built up throughout the season, and her being a werewolf made her character arc all the more interesting. She's also just a very genuinely kind person, and I feel like she would have been a really good chemistry tutor when I was struggling with it in school lol
Given how annoyed I get with classmates and coworkers who are poor communicators, I would despise being around someone like Frank who's always late, drinking whenever he can, and who treats his female boss incredibly disrespectfully. Plus he eventually becomes a corrupt police officer and yeah, not a fan of those. Wouldn't want to be around one irl. He certainly needs professional help, but I am not the one to give it.
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leslutdepointedulac · 9 months
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I'm thinking of turning my asks on because I've been on tumblr for about a year now but despite that I haven't really interacted with people properly in this fandom and I'd very much like to, and I'm sorta hoping that by doing this maybe it will force me out of my shell a bit and get me to talk to some people instead of just existing in the aether 😅
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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sonknuxadow · 5 months
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they werent lying that knuckles series barely has knuckles in it
#i pirated that shit Btw just so we're clear. also gonna talk about it a little bit in the tags#nothing too spoilery but also might not wanna read if you want to go in knowing absolutely nothing? idk#anyway he WAS a main character still he was present for a decent amount of the first couple episodes#but the amount of screentime he gets just starts dropping after that . hes barely there at all in the second half ???#and it feels like theres a lot of scenes mostly focusing on wade and his problems and not near as many for knuckles and his whole deal#overall it feels more like a wade show with knuckles in it than a knuckles show with wade in it. which sucks#and human characters having plot relevance isnt the problem here i dont mind human characters at all i think they can be really fun#its the fact that the human characters are taking over the story and spotlight when the show is called knuckles#and all the marketing makes it look like knuckles is the main focus#and i also would have preferred if they just went with a differnet character to be knuckles' human friend#because i dont particulraly care about wade. and the knuckles (and sonic and tails) i know would not be friends with cops </3#well at least the story wasnt knuckles training wade to be a better cop like a lot of people were expecting but thats like.the bare minimum#also aside from the issues relating to knuckles' screentime (or lack of screentime) i thought the ending was unsatisfying#regardless of all that though there WERE some parts i enjoyed or found kind of funny or whatever. because knuckles so cutesy as always#knuckles being a cute little guy is the most important part of the show actually#and i liked the parts with sonic tails and maddie even if they were only there for like 5 minutes#(i really wish those three had gotten more screentime. i feel like they could have easily worked in at least one more scene with them)#and its a minor thing but the opening sequence is cute. was honestly expecting just a title card or something#overall the show is just . kind of okay i guess. not the worst thing ive ever seen but still disappointing ? idk how to explain..#my expectations also werent very high in the first place#so maybe im being a bit more generous than i would have been otherwise. idk#and i definitely would not recommend this to anyone who already dislikes the sonic movies . youll probably hate this more#like people who thought the human characters got too much screentime in the second movie would lose their minds if they saw this
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mintaka-iii · 11 months
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My mental health can't possibly good if an essay on the found family trope gives me such an indescribable feeling of hollowness and yearning
#Generally I know things are bad when some media is unbearable to consume#It's weird because I'm not overtly anxious and I'm less depression paralyzed than a few months ago#But I'm so terrified and hopeless about grad school applications that it's affecting my whole psyche#Even though it's not even a problem in my current life#It's just unbearable to think about or work on and it has been for like two years#Which means it's kinda hard to make any kind of meaningful change that would make me LESS terrified and hopeless#So I don't FEEL anxious or ACT anxious but I'm scared to death and compartmentalizing it#Also I've been in this town where I know none of my friends for more than a year now and also it's so small and I'm so fucking lonely#I don't FEEL lonely like it's not acute and I'm calling and texting people really frequently#But then I never realize I miss my sister until I see her again#And I didn't know how much I missed seeing all my friends irl until I did#Exactly twice in the past year#So there's clearly multiple things fucked up in my subconscious and they're affecting me but I can't directly get a handle on them#Also I want nothing more than to get an astrophysics PhD but it's SO much more competitive than physics#Cause the programs are so small#So do I apply to what I want and increase my chances of being rejected AGAIN#Or do I try and write essays about being interested in something I'm not really#No matter which program I get into I can probably do work in the other in actuality#But I feel like I can't apply to a physics program and exclusively talk about all the faculty I want to work with one department over#And most places don't let you apply to both
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jeezypetes · 2 years
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Ahhhh the job I thought i didn’t get bc they never got back to me after my interview (which I thought went really well) just reached out to me bc apparently the person they tried to hire backed out.,.. and now its gonna be like another month of wondering if I’m gonna have to decide if I want to move to another state where I don’t know anyone. And i was kind of relieved when i never heard back bc I’m really happy here with my family and gf and friends but the fact is my job here is a contract with very slim hopes of developing into a real job with benefits and i live with my parents bc i love them and our house and our town but i know i have to seriously consider this opportunity bc it would be a good career move and i want to live a rich and interesting life. But I don’t want to talk about it with anyone irl because my dad has covid which has been my number 1 fear since the start of the pandemic (he’s 71 and immunocompromised but he’s doing well and not needed the hospital) and I just want to be able to only worry about that I can’t even talk about the job thing which i drove myself and everyone around me crazy with already back in October. Which is why I’m just posting it vjfdhk I’m being tormented by forces beyond my control i feel like this is the sort of thing it would be really helpful to believe in God about
#like people who say He has a plan which i guess is comforting but his plans are so inscrutable they may as well be random. but some people#think he wants the best for us??? which seems so unlikely to me I can’t even try to believe it#anyways i think my dad willbe fine but I’m worried about long term health issues which would make it really really hard to move away bc my#mom is already basically disabled. and i want the house I want it so bad but I can’t afford to buy it from them bc our neighborhood has#gotten sooo much more expensive then it was when they moved here in the 80s and i know they’re planning on selling it to fund their#retirement. but i love it here so much I want to live here forever and die here but its not realistic and maybe it would be easier if i#moved away and put down roots somewhere else and then it will be less painful when they sell the house and less painful when they die#i just want things ro stay likethis forever I’ve#spent so much time these past few years walking around this neighborhood its like the veins in my arms i can live other places i have for#years but they never get this deep im so scared for the futuy#future but there’s absolutely nothing i can do to stop it. except kill myself i guess but it’s#not nearly at that point yet ckgdf it would make a lot of people very upset. it is sort of comforting to remember though i have that option.#god i hope they don’t offer me the job I’m a wreck just thinking about it#i really haven’t made any special efforts to reach out to them or anything. obv I wasn’t their first choice i have no idea if I’m their#second. i think they really liked me but I’m guessing im younger and less experienced than other candidates#hi if ur reading this btw its me a stranger on the internet and you know something my closest friends and family don’t know. congrats#I’ll talk to someone in a few days when my dad is feeling better. really hope my mom doesn’t get sick too she’s been coughing a bit but#testing negative. idc if i get covid i actually hope i get it bc that will prove I didn’t give it to my dad asymptotically#that’s not a secret i toldmy mom she was like jesus Christ don’t think like that
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 2 months
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katsuki doesn’t like when his idiot loudmouth friends (as they insist on calling themselves) call him.
and especially not when you’re napping.
his face that had been calmly drifting through his feed with eyes occasionally drifting to your sleeping form in his arms, scrunches up when he sees a call from kaminari. he scoffs and quickly swipes the notification away, seeing the missed call notification and sighing in relief when he sees that you’re still undisturbed and dreaming. he’s about to press a kiss to your forehead but his lips barely make contact before his phone rings again.
this time he growls, quickly hanging up but the damage has already been done. you’re awake and he swears he’ll kill kaminari with his bare hands next time he sees him.
“shh, shh..” he shushes softly, you whine a little and he feels his heart tremble. fuck do you look cute when you wake up, even though you swear otherwise but you’re stupid and you don’t know what you’re talking about.
“mm..who is it..?” you mumble, going to rub at your eye but he stops you, placing your hand right where it originally was and threading his fingers with yours, he presses a kiss to your forehead.
“nothing, s’no one.” he ensures softly against it, “jus’ some random extra that’s got the wrong number.”
you whine again, disapprovingly this time and your eyebrows furrow, you raise a hand up to press against his cheeks. “you shouldn’t..” you interrupt yourself with a yawn and katsuki thinks you’ve never looked cuter “you shouldn’t call people extra’s, katsu..s’not nice.”
he has half a mind to roll his eyes, you wouldn’t say that if you knew who was calling he’s sure, but he simply leans into your touch and decides to hold his tongue, though a snort manages to leak out.
“okay, baby. won’t do it anymore, i promise. go back to sleep now, yeah ?” he soothes and you thankfully offer him a sweet “mhm.” and a nod and after a bit of him pressing his nose to your skin and his rough palms on your cheek you’re out like a light again. he huffs a sigh of relief, slowly managing to untangle himself from your grip and walking off to sit on your office chair.
it feels colder now and katsuki wants nothing more than to go lay back down into the little love nest you’ve made on your bed, he sighs again and presses his phone to his ear. his foot taps angrily against your padded floor when he hears ringing and an unmistakable voice through the speaker. his eyebrows furrow and a scowl forms on his face.
“i should fucking kill you dunce face.”
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wonderthor · 3 months
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your neighbor sukuna who lives in one of the apartments upstairs may be a rough and dangerous man, but he’s funny and nice to you, so you become friends anyway. you even develop a little crush on him, and when he calls you little pet names like sweetheart and doll, you start to think he might like you too. one night you decide to go out for drinks, and as he drinks more he lets out more about his past and you learn he is a little more dangerous than you thought. he talks about how he broke into people’s houses at night all the time to steal their things and when he finally did get caught and locked up, he had probably broke into over 200 people’s houses by then.
“that’s crazy, but you wouldn’t get that lucky with me though”
he sets his beer down, raising his eyebrow at you in question.
“what do you mean?”
“i mean that im a very light sleeper, always have been. and there’s no way you couldn’t break into my apartment without me knowing it.”
he picks his beer back up and takes a swig before looking back at you with a smirk.
“you sure about that?”
you confidentially smirk back at him.
“oh absolutely. i get woken up if the wind blows a little too hard against the window. i even woke up that one time i had a mouse in my apartment and i could hear it scurrying across the floor. i would definitely hear you open my door and walk around.”
sukuna taps his fingers against the bar counter with his head in his hands and his eyes still on you, thinking.
“how about we make a bet.”
“a bet? on what?”
“if i can get into your locked apartment and into your bedroom without waking you up, i win. if i do, you win.”
“and what do i get when i win?”
sukuna chuckles at that, almost like a villain’s laugh.
“i wouldn’t worry too much about that.”
you roll your eyes at him.
“oh please, you sound way to confident in your impossible chance at winning.”
he laughs at you again.
“i am. there’s a reason i was able to break in so many people’s houses while they were still in there without getting caught. it’s kind of my specialty.”
you take another sip of your drink and lean back.
“your specialty, huh? and you still haven’t mentioned what we get if we win.”
“what do you want?”
his tone caught you off guard for a second, getting deeper and more serious without you expecting it.
“u-um, i don’t know. you can pick.”
he smiles at you again, a devious smile this time as he leans in closer to you.
“if i win, i get to do whatever i want to you. if you win, you get to do whatever you want to me.”
time stops for a minute and you don’t realize that you’re just staring at him until after several seconds.
“what do you m-mean by that?”
he leans back to hold his beer and his playful demeanor is back.
“well according to you, you won’t have to worry about that, right?”
a couple of days went by and you were still on edge. you mentally slept with your eyes open and even kept your bedroom door cracked, just in case you really couldn’t hear him come in. even though you knew it was just a bet and a silly little game, you couldn’t stop your heart from pounding against your chest. maybe because you still didn’t really know what he said meant. and there was also the eerie feeling that you were essentially waiting for him to break into your apartment, like a real robber. like the robber he used to be. and even though you knew he wasn’t dangerous to you and wouldn’t hurt you, you were still admittedly a little scared. you truly didn’t know what to expect.
it had been a couple of weeks now and you were sure sukuna was fucking with you. whenever you saw him in passing, he was his normal playful and flirty self, and mentioning nothing of the bet. you were starting to think he was kidding, just making that up to scare you and mess with you. or you also thought he could have just forgotten, since he was drinking a little and couldn’t have forgotten all about it.
but little did you know that you were playing right into his hands. he was waiting on you to lose your edge, to slowly get comfortable enough again to slip into deep and dream-filled sleeps. that’s why you didn’t expect it, why you didn’t expect to lose.
when you woke up one night, you felt your heart fall out of your body and your eyes almost jump from their sockets. there he was, in your apartment, in your bedroom, on your bed, leaning over you on his hands and knees. when he saw that you were awake and too stunned to speak, he smirked and leaned in closer to you until his face was just inches from yours.
“guess i win, sweetheart.”
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i'm just like ugh i gotta figure out where to get this x ray and when i should do it this week and i'm just worried about walking in without an appointment even though it says you can and like them not having the machine or a person to do it or whatever since i went into one place on the list already and they did not have x-rays
and then i've got this birthday thing which idk where it's going to be so idk if i should take a lyft or not and then i'll have to either exercise in the morning or choose that as my skip day
and then i'll just be worrying about my test results and not knowing if the doctor is going to call before my follow up or WHAT is going to happen and i just. cannot relax.
i just want to be done with doctors i really fucking do like just tell me what's wrong and let me be DONE like this follow up is gonna be the eighth fucking time i've seen a doctor in some form since all this weird shit started and if i don't get any answers i'm gonna be mad. i mean i'd rather not get bad news of course but i figure things are already mildly crappy in my body so like it's not like i can't get used to that i just can't stand the idea of it getting worse
#personal#like it'll be nice to see my friends but idk i'm just like too stressed#i thought it would be okay to say yes bc i hadn't gotten horrible news yet#but i just have that ugh i don't feel like being social rn especially bc i know people are gonna be asking what's going on#and i really don't like talking about it bc if i DID have answers it might just be like ah well it's not that bad#but since i don't have answers i keep thinking of how horrible it might become and everything it might take away#including my ability to say yes to plans every time they come around which already is a rarity#like how much less could i end up seeing my friends when this is the only person who ever actually asks to see me#i feel so bratty but like. why does no one else include me in anything except for their birthdays if that#this one friendship that i kind of assume is over doesn't really bother me but at least i sometimes got invited to hers with everyone else#though there were plenty of hangouts that i knew happened seemingly often without me#but yeah at least when she was in the mix i had a chance even if they weren't hangouts i particularly enjoyed#like it was better than nothing#and this year has already been so hard that feeling like i'm even more isolated than i was the couple years before#just makes it all that much more impossible#i just want to be thought of and like i know i do plenty of thinking about loved ones without reaching out#so it stands to reason it works the other way around#but the thing is i very rarely initiate plans so i know i'm not like inviting one person and never another or whatever#whereas SOMEONE has to be making the plans and i'm virtually never invited#i used to have the luxury of being invited often enough that i didn't have to go to a random hangout if i wasn't up for it#and now it's not like that and i have to say yes when i'm too mentally exhausted. who knows what the physical limitations are gonna be now
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daincrediblegg · 6 months
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no you know what I'm going to scream about the stuff I talked about in the tags of this post publicly
I'm tired of the well-meaning "don't feel bad if your work only gets 20 notes your genius is what counts and do it for you!" bullshit. I've had a good handful of friends who have straight up DEACTIVATED in recent months because their work was not getting reblogged AT ALL. No, it wasn't from lack of not being well-liked, no it wasn't from lack of trying to make sure it was getting out there to the people they knew would engage with it. It was because no matter how much they were praised privately for their work, when push came to shove, absolutely NOBODY reblogged it and gave it the audience that it was due, and I'm tired of people shoving the "unsung genius" narrative as an excuse for it. Nothing excuses that. And the boop event really proved that.
because I know given the opportunity, indiscriminately pressing a button (sometimes 10 thousand times, as I did) is not beyond this website's capability. y'all loved doing that. and look at what it wrought. nothing but love and affection and happiness. just from a couple of quick clicks of a little paw button. sure. nobody knew who you booped but the other person (which is how likes used to work on this website, btw). there was an element of anonymity to it. but that is kind of the core of this website that no other social media platform still has: the ability to be anonymous. and hyper-curating a blog on here like you might on twitter or instagram to project an image is simply not viable. and hey. you wanna know a secret: literally nobody cares what you post or whether it goes with the "theme" of your blog or not. yeah. I know. CRAZY concept in this day and age. but literally. I myself have reblogged things that have had nothing to do with whatever I am currently fixated by and you know what happened to my follower count? not a damn thing. in fact, I actively try to reblog things specifically BECAUSE it's my friends who made them (even though I'm not always good at KEEPING UP WITH HOW MUCH THEY POST @prismatica-the-strange will NEVER GO UNRECOGNIZED by me).
And you know what fucking sucks? I have to deal with this too. surprise right? you ever wonder why I reblog fics or art I post like 20 times the day that I post them? do you ever wonder why I ask about tag lists and beg for asks all the time? IT'S BECAUSE EVEN I GET LIKE. 5 LIKES ON THE THINGS I POST. AND THE REST OF THE REBLOGS ARE MINE SO I CAN MAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SEE WHAT I MAKE GET TO SEE IT. and I say that knowing that I'm certainly not an unpopular blog, or an unpopular writer. I know that people love the stories that I create. Hell, half of the people that I've talked to about lady terror have told me that they consider her to be canon (AND EVEN SOME!! THOUGHT SHE WAS!!! WITHOUT EVEN HAVING WATCHED THE SHOW! WHICH IS STILL SO SO WILD TO ME!!!) But especially in the last 4 years (which really dates this phenomenon), my posts, no matter how well received they've been amongst people I've talked to about them directly, I still go into the notes and at least half (often more than half) are MY reblogs to make sure people saw what I posted. and it happens every single time, and I can't tell you how much it crushes me considering that it used to be that I would be able to post it only once, and people would reblog it sometimes even HUNDREDS of times.
It's not about popularity. it never has been. it's not about anxiety. or shifting website cultures. even if you lurk, the simple fact is, that if you want people to keep making what you love. you have to reblog. your theme won't suffer because you reblogged a fanfiction that you really admire. your posting won't be ruined because you reblogged some fanart from someone in a different fandom. really. I promise. and if people do unfollow you for that? who needs em. followers come and go but you should NEVER have to cater to them. on this website it has ALWAYS been the other way around. lean into it. make it yours. put stuff you ACTUALLY WANT to be seen and that you love and appreciate on your blog. no matter how old it is, how new it is, no matter how niche or off-theme it is.
so please. if you really want to show your appreciation for someone's work? you reblog. it's really as easy as that. check the tags. add some when you reblog if you like. but please for the love of god reblog. it's as easy as booping and even more rewarding for the people who you reblog from. if you want to let someone know that their work is genius and appreciate it? show it. reblog. then DM them if you're too nervous to say what you want to say but not in a public forum. but for christ's sake. REBLOG.
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