#even though i just wanna draw stupid lil guys being stupid lil guys and i think its expected of me to draw stupid lil guys

[moeblob]

Mym........

[whore-era]

delinquent!ellie williams headcanons 18+

has the MEANEST MUG FACE at everyone but her close loved ones, especially you. she shows you the softest side to her bc you naturally just draw it out. ellie will literally have the grouchiest face, but once she sees you, it will be all soft heart eyes around you and you only! everyone else though? fuck them. they will get a bitch face and a middle finger thrown their way!

is guilty for always manspreading, but it's okay because it kinda stirs something inside you anyways. you guys will literally be anywhere, and she'll sit with her legs spread with her hands behind her head and you'd find yourself walking over and plopping yourself on her lap.

is extremely territorial and possessive of her girl, but not in a way where she's controlling you by any means. ellie is aware of how gorgeous and sexy her girl is, and while she has no problem with others looking, she draws the line at people approaching you. you would be at a party, talking with your friends, occasionally looking across the room at her. while giving each other loving glances, some guy approaches probably saying "hey girl, you lookin' finnneeee as hell tonight, you wanna get outta here?" and she'll already be behind him, fists balled up and hissing, "get the fuck away from my girlfriend."

would absolutely beat someone's ass for you. if someone is disrespectful to you or looks at you the wrong way or god forbid, lay their hands on you, it's automatically on sight for her. "but you should'a seen the other guy, babe. he's got it worse," she'll say, as you're sat on the sink with her in between your legs, tending to her small cuts and bruises. "what'd i tell you, els? you can't keep getting into these stupid fights because one guy says something dumb about me." "yea, baby, i know. i just hate when people say shit about you," she coos, "you're absolutely fucking amazing, and everyone should know that by now." you both end up kissing in the bathroom and it always ends up with you being bent over the sink taking her strap-

you would CONSTANTLY be on her ass about everything. since she does have a short temper, you always find yourself having to check her and and lecture her a bit, and she lowkey kinda loves it? ellie thinks you're hot as hell taking a little bit of control and telling her what to do, and every time you do have to lecture her, she'll look at you with desire in her eyes and respond with "yes, ma'am", "alright, baby, whatever you say", "mhm yes, baby m'listening" even though she quite literally is hyper-focused on how sexy as fuck you look lecturing her rn.

always putting her hands on you! whether it's rubbing your ass when she's cuddling you, holding your hand when you're out and about, or putting her hands on your hips and waist when she wants to be close to you. 

showing how she feels about you in actions rather than words. ellie has a tough time expressing how she feels for you directly in words, and sometimes her message that she’s trying to send doesn’t always sound…right. so she’ll do little acts of services for you like picking up lunch for you on days when you’re extremely swamped with work and assignments, organizing your books and backpack when you fall asleep on your desk from studying, picking up your favorite snacks when you need a lil cheering up, and helping you take off your clothes when you’re extra exhausted from the day. 

always assuring you’re safe. ellie will always make sure you never have to travel alone and tries to walk you to and from class, but if she’s busy she’ll bug dina to do it. she’ll always ask where you are and who you’re with just to make sure you’re safe and alright, periodically checking in with you with texts (even tho it can be a lil bit annoying but u never say anything bc u know she’s just worried). baby u ok taking the bus alone? yes els i’m fine babe. u sure? i can come get u rn. no my love u don’t need to do that. swear. yk what babe let me ask dina if she can- ellieeee….

a/n this one was rly short my apologies ;P

[angelmartinez2022]

story one

 ok.. so i never really use this blog for much. So I've decided to start using it to get some of the crap echoing in my skull out. Maybe if I write about these feelings, confront them and drag them out into the light of day

they will go away. My family is basically nuts. Long story short. 

My father was a very good man but I think he was too caught up in enabling my mom's bad behavior. My mom was what I now realize a very selfish person, concerned with only my sister and my sister's children. Many times to the exclusions of my own needs. I have a lot of other stories.. but ahh right now I wanna get the story of this lil fella outta my head.

That's right folks.. A bloody green ranger toy. HOW may you ask, does a green ranger toy play into the chasms of my mind ? Really simple. This lil guy is a reproduction of the original. See the lil hasbro dealy down in the corner?

But many years ago back in the summer of 1994, I had some extra money from my baby sitting and dog walking jobs. Relying on my folks for money was after a certain point just plain stupid. I had to rely on them for insurance and a few other things, but spending money. Fun money, and yah even clothes and food, no. NOPE. My pride got the better of me and I got sick of listening to people ( mom) bitch about what I ate, how much clothes cost, and how sorry and wasteful I was. I really got kinda tired of it. It's not that they refused to provide it. They did. But it came at the price of having to hear her constantly criticize me. My weight, what I ate, What i wore. So my brain simply went to the place.. WELL.. if I stop asking them to provide these things. They will lose that control. So I just started getting my own things. That was the situation the summer that the original of this lil fella came out. Originally he was about half of what he is now, 13.00. So he would have been like six bucks. (Yay inflation!)  There was a mall on the hill that had Kaybee toys in it. Despite the fact that I was a teenager myself, I enjoyed the show a lot. And this lil asshole in green spandex was my fave. I loved green, I loved dragons, And Pretty boy mc fluffuly hair was kinda cute. So… yah He was my fave. So thinking not much of it I brought this lil fell as a model to help me learn to draw them. Fast forward to that fall. See my sister had gone off and gotten knocked up back when I was Ten.. Par for the course with people of my mom's religious persuasion. It is The DUTY of the younger family members to help when the older sibling has a baby. Especially when she comes home from whoring around out west, without a penny to her name. She came home with her demon spawn in her belly and my childhood effectively came to an end. For around six/seven years I had been putting up with it. My sister's child, though he claims he loves his auntie now, was EVIL. I have scars from where this lil asshole assaulted me.  Maybe I should forgive him but I refuse to forget. Specifically this incident. For some ungodly reason. My parents decided that weekend we were all going to spend time at the grandparents house out in the small town in eastern KY. I HATED it. I was basically Belle in that town. Girl with a brain stuck in a town that only values a woman on how many babies she can crank out and how fast. To this day they hate me because I, after finding out I was fucking sterile, chose degree's over children. Not even bothering to account that Children are an impossibility for me. Nope, being a pregasaurus rex is all that matters there. That is how your value as a woman is determined in that family. My dad's family wasn't as bad, due to my Grandpa Jim being very progressive and very education oriented. Honestly without my Grandpa Jim, I'd probably have gone stark raving mad when the occasion came to visit this town. BLEH. 

So this weekend.. because I wanted to work on some art and drawings. I shoved my lil green buddy there in my bag and took him with me so I could practice drawing his shield and stuff. So picture that.. Someone minding their own business .. with their own toy… not bothering anyone else and working on a drawing. Peaceful right? That peace was very quickly shattered. Noa, the demon seed of my sister had never noticed my lil green ranger toy there before. Sometimes he and I watched the show together when I was forced to babysit the lil shit. 

So he liked the show too. He spots my toy sitting on the table as I am drawing him and comes up. Promptly reaches up onto the table.. takes my figure and starts to make off with him. I Stop him, take Tommy back and tell him. "No kid, that's mine. You can't have it." "but I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant  it!!" I tell him no again and then pack up my drawing stuff and head up stairs to get some peace and quiet. It does not last long. I'm on my bed now drawing, and here comes my sister. "Did you take that toy from Noa!" She shouts.. pointing at the green ranger that I remind you, I paid for and was mine. "NO," I tell her flatly, "HE tried to take it from ME." "Well," She huffs, "GIVE IT TOO HIM." "No," I replied, "no, it's my toy and he can't have it. They sell them at Kaybees, when we get back to civilization just go get him one." "NO give it to him now!" She snarls, "You're too old for that anyway." "Well I don't care if I am too old for it," I shrug, "I paid for it, It's mine. If he wants one, buy him his own." I proceed to pick up the toy and shove it back into my bag. "You either give me that toy or You're gonna get it," She tells me. I ignore her and go back to my drawing. She storms off down the steps and not 10 minutes later I hear my mom standing at the bottom step, screeching like a fucking banshee.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!" At the top of her lungs, "GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND YOU BRING THAT BABY'S TOY WITH YOU!!" 

My dad is out with my Mom's father some place so I am aware that I am caught in there with all my female relatives on my mom's side of the family. Mom, Sister, Nanna, and Auntie. I know I will be ganged up on the moment I go down stairs. I make a point of leaving Tommy in my bag and head down so that the yelling can start. Start it does. For a good thirty minutes. Basically telling me what a selfish lil brat I am for not giving my nephew that toy. HOW horrid of a person I was for hogging the item that I PERSONALLY paid for and not giving it to him. I tell them he can't have it and promptly get slapped in the face by my mom. I am not the five nine amazon that I am now. I was a bitty lil 17 year old that was about two sauce packets tall. And my mom knew how to slap someone and make it hurt.  She slapped me so hard my nose tried to bleed. Then told me that IF I didn't go get the toy she was gonna slap me again. All of my female relatives backed her up. I told her NO.. Got slapped again and she went and got the toy out of my backpack herself. She then asked me if I was going to give it to Noa. I Once again told her no. So she told me in no uncertain terms that If Noa couldn't have the toy. Neither could I. She tossed my Green ranger into the trash. Had my Auntie bag it up in front of me and haul it out to the trash can. Eventually Dad came home and saw the red hand print and found out what had happened. Told my mom she had no right to make me share something I had paid for with my own money. Or simply take it from me because the demon seed wanted it. He went to get it but by then it was too late. The trash had been picked up and my green ranger was gone. He offered me the money to replace the toy but I told him no. The same thing would just continue to happen as long as Noa and my sister were around. Mom would take their side and the things I loved would keep dying. It was a long time before I ever saw that toy again. A year ago I saw one on hasbro and my darling husband asked me , without knowing the story actually, if I wanted it. This was because he knows my love of power rangers. He got me the reproduction and it sits on my desk  for the world to see. To pay him back this year I bought him the white one because that was his favorite. But he never had it taken away, just never got one. So yah.. Proof that my mom, sister , auntie and nana were fucking nuts. They destroyed my power ranger toy because I refused to give it to my nephew. Plain and simple.

[loopeyfluff]

OHHHH MEEE FRIEIKCING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

YOU!!! YOU DID IT!!! YOU CAPTURED THE SCENE SO WELLL WAHGGHAHA I LOVE THAT SCENE SO MUCH AND U DID IT SOOOO MUCH JUSTICE GAHHH!!! You used screentones sooo well in every panel, it really enhanced the look of the whole thing so much!!! I especially love how the screen tones look in page 4,,, arueghghe. I know we collectively bemoaned over how hard it was to adapt fics, but when Gyro writes

"Warm and content"

I FEEL THAT EXPRESsED SO CLEARLY AND SO WELL THAT IT STRIKES MY SOUL WITH ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD. AND ALSO I CAN FEEL HOW MUCH ZORO LVOVES LUFFY IN THIS PANEL CAUSE ITS FROM HIS POV. LIKE. OMFG LUFFY LOOKS POSITIVELY DREAMY!!!

nono Im getting ahead of myself let me go in order u _ u

first of all, brilliant open. when trying to adapt a scene, its sooo hard sometimes to pick where to start drawing!! cause like,,, omg i wanna draw this entire scene but i wud literally die... I think u not only chose a great part to start this whole comic off with, but the whole mystique behind the line

“I never ask you for anything, you know,” he says, not taking his eyes off the barren valley below. It’s easier that way.

is conveyed really well with how u paneled zoro's eyes outta sight! (pretty ironic with how zoros eyes are the only things described XD) << but srsly, artistically what a great decision >:3c AND ALSO you're so good at drawing luffy being the most unserious goofy lil guy ever even in the most serious of situations and I'm so glad that u never stop delivering thanku sm OTL

I wud love to squish his cheeks he looks so stupid!!!!

I actually rlly like how u layout the second panel too, with how u position the speechbubbles? IDK I get really nervous sometimes with putting speech bubbles in places cause I hate covering things up and also gahhh you also need to consider the best way to position things so people read em in orderrr,,, but u did a real gud job there, all that important action is definitely very visible in frame >:) GET SMACKED

oh and yeah, to save time so this doesnt become 2 monstrous of a cute lil adaption project, ofc ya gotta cut out some small tid bits like luffy humming thoughtfully or him snickering against zoro's palm, but all of that personality of goofy luffy is translated so well with,,, how goofy loofy u draw him XD So what im sayin is, i think u were real efficient and thoughtful with how you adapted these things :)))

and GAHHH THE ATMOSPHERE CHANGE !!! AND THE WAY U DREW ZOROS HAND LOWERING TO HIS LAP HERE, IT LOOKS SO GENTLE LIKE HES CARESSING LUFFYS FACE TOO. GAHHHH!!! I just, I ADORE THE FRAMING OF THOSE 3 PAGES!!! it really feels like its just the two of them in this vast world, nothing else to disturb em. its very calming.

Luffy stills, anyway, though—because of course he understands. And when Zoro lowers his hands to his lap, Luffy has chewed and swallowed, quieted to listen. Content to lean against his shoulder in the sunshine, staring out at the horizon to wait while Zoro straightens out the pieces of what he wants to say into something like order. Because even though they can talk without speaking, sometimes the important things need to be said out loud—made just a little more real.

Its true, that these types of lengthy paragraph descriptions cant be translated over to an art adaption without losing the explanations behind it all, but the way you captured the atmosphere of it all, is really, really breathtaking.

AHAHHAHA THE OUR DREAMS AT DUSK HAPPY MEMORY BUBBLES!!!!! Thats actually such a clever way to incorporate them into the fic I ADORE how you used them here!!! GAHHH

Zoro leans back on his palms—curls his fingers in the grass and imagines it’s Sunny’s deck against his skin. For a moment, he misses home.

IM ACTUALLY FREAKING OUTTT WAHHH THATS SOOOO CLEVER!!! I CANT THINK OF A BETTER WAY YOU COULDVE ADAPTED THIS WOWOWOWWW!!! UHFDSUHFGSDFSADFRASDFGSDFSDUHFSD IM GOING TO GO EXPLODE INTO A BAJILLION HAPPY BUBBLES RN GAHHHH

my heart actually physically clenched- and it still clenches every time i read over pages 3 and 4,,, i think i had to put down my phone for a bit and like,,,, cover my mouth with a hand cause it was just too cute for my soul,,, omfg,,,,, ahahah u trlly did just dedicate a whole page FULL of panels, methodically showing luffy falling back and stretching zoro into a real goofy smile XD I love how you paced this, because page 4 hits so much harder with all that gentle set up!! Seeing luffy lay all cutely on zoros lap,,,

and Zoro can’t help it—he snorts out a tender kind of laugh

Yeah I wouldnt be able to help it either man!!!

Anyways, its actually really interesting to see how you paced this comic because like, its a great adaption of course!! BRILLIANT!!! but it works sooo well as a stand alone comic too, even if you havent read the source material. The line about luffy beaming isn't super emphasized in Gyro's writing, it's more of a one off comment backed up by all the other lines of luffy being cute in this scene. But the way you've paced it out, the reader has to really get HIT IN THE FACE by the energy friggin BLASTED OUT FROM HIS SUNSHINE BOY SMILE.

In the original fic, Gyro doesn't need to necessarily emphasize that cause we've been seeing how much zoro treasures luffy from all the way at the start of the fic!!! but I feel like just as a standalone comic, you establish just how precious luffy is from the impact of those panels on the fourth page. and this allows for the final heartbreaking lines that zoro says on the last page to really really stand out and hit just that much harder...

no notes here... this is a good zoro ^^^

And Luffy goes utterly still while Zoro breathes.

YO I SEE HOW THE SECOND PANEL DARKENS THERE. AHHHHHHH ATMOSPHERE CHANGE!!!! ahahah, but I would just like to stop again and say that oughghgh this comic is so so dreamy!!! I love the lil sparks that you put across all the panels on this page, it makes all the panels flow together even more smoothly. It like,,, quickens up the pace of reading I feel? I could draw an entire lil Sin Cos lookin ass chart with how well I feel you control the reading pace in this comic man. gahhh anyways this is a funny stupid exciting moment, FAST READ, and then we slow down the pace again as zoro finally expresses the words weighed on his chest...

QUICK SIDENOTE, the font u use for the LICK sfx conveys just how positively disgusting zoro is i love it. omfg.

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osfsfjfajdsfsdfiaiwfjfsfsdksijisggfdsfdsgdfgie. i dont. i dont think i can convey how lovely i think the last page is in proper words. i just. im tearing up just looking at it. When I read that scene in Gyro's fic, my heart broke, and the fact that you've done such an amazing job of adapting it,,, MY HEART IS BURSTING WITH JOY!!! AND ITS NOT EVEN MY FIC XD!!!!

Amazing job man :))) you knocked it outta the park!!!! (seriously tho I think u've peaked with ur screentone usage in this comic cause woaawhhhh it looks so stunning,,,)

Fanart for a snippet of my most favorite heartbreaking moment from swordsmans's fic bone-breaker ospreys mate for life (rated E)

[jisungsgirl]

cake and kisses

pjs x reader

just a lil bday fluff for my favorite boy :) 

wc: 1426

warnings: none!

(*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

“Dude, it’s gonna be so good,” you smiled proudly, hands on your hips as you watched the cake finally slide into the oven.

Wiping the flour off his forehead, Jaemin looked up at you in mild disbelief. “Whatever you say, y/n. This better be worth it. I’m never going to use an,” he paused to inspect the object in his right hand, “...adjustable rolling pin again.”

“See, that’s what you say now! But once everyone realizes we are master bakers they’ll be asking us to do the cakes for everyone else, and for some reason you decided to work in a group of 23 men, so choose your words wisely.” 

“Why are you so confident in your cake? Didn’t you tell me just yesterday that you basically never stepped foot in your kitchen at home?” He eyed you suspiciously. Mildly flustered by his question, you racked your brains for something quickly. 

“Baking can’t be that hard,” you turned around, hiding your pink cheeks, “I’m smart enough, this shouldn’t be hard for me. I can follow a recipe! I think. Anyways, don’t jinx it!” you paused to chastise him, your head snapping back up to glare in his direction. Dusting yourself off, the two of you continued bickering as you slowly helped the objects around the kitchen find their way back to their respective cupboards. The sound of a door opening caused both of your heads to snap up, but tilt in mild relief as you realized it was just Renjun coming back. 

“Hey guys, oh, what are you making?” 

“Jisung’s birthday cake! For tonight!” 

“Oh?” Renjun looked between the two of you, a glint in his eyes. Minutely, you tried to shake your head from side to side, warning your best friend that your baking partner was utterly oblivious to your, uh, ulterior motives. 

“That is so caring and loving of you two. Wow. Jisung will be so happy that you put in all this effort for him. You must really care for him!”

Oh he was so dead. 

Meanwhile, Jaemin just shrugged. “Of course I’d help make a cake for my bro. And y/n was so insistent I help her, since I’m the only one with any hope in the kitchen, that there was no way I could turn her down. But of course I love Jisung! You wanna help frost later, man?” 

“No, he does not.” you tried immediately, but Renjun was already beaming and nodding his head. Some best friend. 

_ As far as you were concerned, seven o’clock rolled around all too fast. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you questioned why you’d even bothered to get ready. You knew they were filming Jisung’s birthday surprise for a YouTube video to be posted later, and you and the boys wouldn’t get to hang out without cameras until much later in the night. Feeling your phone buzz, you accepted the call. 

“Hello?” 

“Just because I know your stupid love-stricken self is probably pacing right now, I wanted to ask if you wanted me to film his cake reaction on my phone and send it to you? I know you won’t get to actually see him until later.”

“Thanks Renjun! I’m not in love with him, though! I’m just. I just like him, okay?” you could feel your cheeks heating up again and suppressed a groan. He never failed to make you so nervous, even just by being brought up in conversation. 

“Whatever you say, y/n,” and you could practically hear the eye roll through the phone. You didn’t have long to wait, not even twenty minutes later and your phone pinged with a video message from Renjun. You hurried to open the text, internally cursing yourself for being so eager. Pressing play, you sat on your bed and bit back a smile. 

“Happy birthday Jisung!” Lights were flicked on to reveal a tall boy standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by the other six members of Dream. At one end, Jaemin stood, beaming, holding a cake. Your cake. You had frosted it in a light green, (of course you knew his favorite color), with white piping and trim. In the middle, you had written a simple ‘Happy Birthday Jisung’ but included a little drawing of a cat on the side. 

The two of you had begun texting a lot more frequently over the past month, as the boy was seemingly showing a genuine interest in getting to know you. The other week he had asked you about any pets you had, which had of course launched you into telling him all about your cats back home and sending him many, many iMessage doodles of both of them. 

In the video, as Jisung slowly pulled out the candles, preparing to cut it and share with his friends, he suddenly looked closer at the cake. Squinting, and then opening his eyes in surprise, he stood up straight and turned around. 

“Um, who made this cake again?” 

“Me!” Jaemin smiled and waved at a camera, before putting his head on Jisung’s shoulder and adding “with y/n’s help.” 

Your stomach flipped as you watched Jisung cough twice, eyes still wide, before throwing on a smile for the cameras and now- you rewound the video. Was he blushing? After watching the clip of Jaemin tell Jisung you had made the cake five more times, you decided that you were not making it up and he was, in fact, blushing. As you closed out of the video, you read Renjun’s text underneath. 

“Definitely don’t think this is going to make the final cut. Take care of him!” 

You didn’t think it was possible for your heart to squeeze even more. 

__

“Happy birthday Jisung!” you smiled as soon as the door was opened. Jisung stood before you, smiling down at you. Flustered, he was staring resolutely right below you, not making eye contact. Watching the pink crawl up his cheeks, you leaned forwards and wrapped your arms around him in a hug. Breathing in his scent, you tried your best to ignore the way your heart squirmed as his hands rested around your waist. You could feel him smiling into your hair, and you grinned at him as you tilted your head back. 

“So, what’s it like being twenty?” 

“Ah, stop it, stop it. That sounds way too old for me.” He waved your words away as he stepped back, allowing you entry. Slipping out of your shoes, you giggled as he continued talking, telling you about how his friends surprised him today with a cake. Catching himself, he paused for a moment and looked down at you. 

“Actually, can I ask you something?” 

“Of course,” you shrugged, smiling, doing your best to hide the fact that your heart was currently trying to break its way out of your chest. 

“Did you… make that cake for me? Jaemin said that he made it, for the cameras, but then told me that really, you were the one who got all the stuff and baked it. It was, um, really good. Just so you know,” he was looking down again, his cheeks undoubtedly pink. 

“Oh, yeah, I did! I’m glad you liked it, Jisung. I just wanted to do my part for your birthday, you know. Celebrate you.” And now it was your turn to feel your face turn pink. You were mortified at your sudden inability to even talk to your friend without heating up. Doing your best to look up at him, you fought to calm your face. 

“So! Did you, ah, wish for anything?” you tilted your head. Finally, Jisung brought his eyes up to meet you. Without breaking his gaze, you finally realized how close you two were. Jisung was less than a step away from you, looking down at you in the empty room. Suddenly, you felt a soft hand on your jaw, tilting your face further up. 

“Um, can I…” his voice came out shakily. Nodding, you lifted yourself up and watched as his eyelids fluttered closed. Finally, your lips pressed against his as his arms surrounded you. You stood there, his arms cradling you as you softly kissed, over and over again. You weren’t able to stop yourself from smiling, however, and he pulled back gently to look at you. 

“Wow, look at that, my wish came true.” 

Hiding your face, you gave him a soft shove. “Park Jisung, that was so lame,” but you couldn’t stop a few laughs from escaping. 

“Hey! I was being serious!” 

[mypersonmyg]

The Misery Chick | MYG

thank you to my favorite @kimtaehyunq for the wonderful banner, ily you talented cutie <3

pairing: Yoongi x reader

genre: fluff, a lil tiny bit of angst, college au

wc: 5.2k (issa short one)

warnings: language

summary: maybe yoongi has a fat crush on you OR he notices, that’s all

a/n: happy birthday to the one and only min yoongi! i am so so fond of him and i couldn’t not write something for him, so I hope you enjoy :D and as always feel free to send in drabble requests for the fic and blah blah blah...

honorary tag: @gukssunshine​

masterlist

To wonder about the quickened stride of the beating appendage in Yoongi’s chest, would be to question the routine catch of gaze to the lone figure at the far end of the classroom, dwarfed by cuddled fabric, consumed with the rapid turn of the lengthy page. His arm rests atop the desk’s surface, supporting the chin that minutely dips with your every flicker of expression, the parting of your lips in gasp mimed by his own. His eyes are glazed under bright light, lids threatening to blink, the passage of time too fast, but oh so slow. 

Yoongi’s knowledge is second hand, rumblings of your demeanor spread through the vine of dialogue that floats coincidentally through his ears to connect with the edges of his brain, chewed and regurgitated without second thought. He holds his refusal to high regard, refusal to believe that you’re nothing more than a student, disgruntled by circumstance. It’s not simple attraction that guides his mind to the eye of logic, the region of reason, though it was the peak of initial interest.

He notices, and that’s all. 

He notices the round of your puffed cheeks that follows a particularly surprising piece of narrative. He notices the seat left empty between you and the wall, open but not a forced invitation, and he notices the way your posture straightens when someone grazes a hair too close. He notices the deflation of your shoulders when you’re left without pair during lessons framed with the inopportunity of interaction forced to simulate the false reality of reality itself. He notices the things others are blind to in their half squint, though the picture is still blurred like the edges of a polaroid. 

The numbness of his wrist, angled by the rest of his chin, draws him from captivation despite motivation to outlast the congregation huddle before you, their fronts focused toward him, his view obscured by obligation of association. His lips form the curvature of amiability necessary for pleasantry, neck craning to the defense of blue jeans offending his locked gaze.

“Can you stop staring so hard? She’s gonna eat you alive,” Hoseok’s finger nudges at the round of Yoongi’s jaw, urging his attention completely away from his person of interest. 

“Fuck off, you don’t even know her.” 

“Neither do you, despite your dedication to staring holes into her side every chance you get. They don’t call her ‘the misery chick’ for nothing, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile.” The jab rubs the wrong direction, Yoongi’s hand landing with a thud to the thick of Hoseok’s skull. “Come on, it’s a joke.”

“Maybe to you, and to everyone else, but she is a person. You guys just don’t look beyond what you wanna see because then she’s more than just a good laugh.” Every utterance of the moniker draws is lips to a downward twitch, fists balling in the pocket of his hoodie or scraping at the fabric of stressed jeans. It’s knowing that if he’s heard it you have ten fold, the thought harboring the wish that he could fold you inward, close to the beat of his chest to shield from the displeasure of words half baked with stupidity and the ignorance of hilarity. 

“Well not everyone wants to see her between the sheets.”

Interruption of the education saves Hoseok from the verbal spar pending within the fire engulfing Yoongi’s pupils. A place of love harbors the words of war, he knows this, knows that Hoseok’s plan is to rile to the point of action, but he’s driven to the brink of insanity by twisted words of encouragement. The kindest person on the planet playing into the stereo of broken records hurled toward the edges of your delicate framing, . 

Yoongi’s hands curl around his pen, ballpoint and already dancing the page, jotting words flown from one canal to the other and back to the atmospheric toxins of brains shorting caffeine. His sleeves are suddenly burning, neck itching with the heat of nerves crawling outward from within the confines of his collar. He glances toward Hoseok staring absently at Yoongi’s decorative scrawl, raising a brow to colliding gazes.

“Is it hot?” Yoongi puckers in mumble, swiping at the skin kissing the fringe sweeping his eyeline. Hoseok’s head careens in the negative, averting gaze to the front of the room, professor droning about the coming assignment, a project that Yoongi barely catches wind of. 

The plague responsible for his discomfort of familiarity is comfort enough to stop the distant tremble of shoulders keen to the stare that meets his eyes from the room’s opposing side. He jolts, or rather the calm of his heart picks back to pace, when his eyes meet irises reflective of his own.  They’re gone as soon as he finds them, but he’s confident that the cool of his neck is confirmation that sanity isn’t all lost. 

“Dude, could you take your notes? I’m gonna need those later,” Hoseok nudges at his forearm, limp from distraction. Yoongi hurries to scribble missed lecture, patient for a lull in speech to make room for declaration. 

“She was looking at me.” 

“What?” 

“Y/n, she was looking at me. I saw her...I felt her.” 

“Maybe she was just staring off into space because this class is a snooze-fest.” Hoseok speaks through the timing of yawn, perfectly punctuating his point. “She probably doesn’t even know you exist. Though, I guess everyone knows you exist, so maybe she just doesn’t care.” 

The words aren’t false, Yoongi’s following his beyond the definition of quaint, his celebrity following him from the rush of the court to the thrill of the keys. He’s hard pressed for a moment of peace, but he often finds it here, lost in you. 

“I’m serious.”

Yoongi sighs an audible defeat, Hoseok’s dropped lids and the rest of his chin atop folded arms a clear sign that his mind is beyond the classroom and beyond Yoongi’s own romantic woes. The end of the lecture appears miles from the start, the wave of dismissal a spell releasing its hold on the shackles chaining the  ghoulish appearance of sleepless students. 

Yoongi has worked himself to the brink of decision by the end of the lecture, sure enough that his stride to your desk will prove a build in the shy tint of his cheeks when he musters a faint ‘hello’. The pan of his half thought out plan doesn’t sort as well as he hoped, the rush of legs scurrying for the door tripping him up in his rush to the chair where you patiently filed notebook to bag. 

His vision is blurred by the passage of sweaters and hoodies, emblems emblazoned on sleeves and beanies sagging from the tips of bedhead. Hoseok follows after his stride in a confused wake from the desk that housed his sleepy head for the last seventy minutes, stumbling along with the drag of feet on tile. 

When destination is met, your chair is neatly housed, your figure nowhere to be found, Yoongi paces back, his sizable sneaker just scuffing the metal recline of an adjacent chair. 

“What are you doing?” Hoseok clutches the muscled fabric of Yoongi’s shoulder, stopping near disaster following the weighted displacement of the two. 

“Nothing, let's get lunch.”

The passage of days are a haze in the midst of the craze of midterms and Yoongi’s attempt to find reason to believe your glance was more than a passing innocence. The press of his back to his mattress, sheets freshly laundered, linens, scented of the artificial makings of fresh lilac courtesy of Jeongguk, are used to his mid-day collapse for a pre-study snooze. He’s swallowed whole beneath the dense of his comforter, fingers curling into the soft material, lips emitting a sigh of satisfaction. 

The buds in his ears are a dull hum, white noise to saturate the crevices of his brain still vibrating from the surge of knowledge consumed at the twice rapid pace of the semester’s schedule. His lids are aflutter, pupils rolling to the dark precipice, the unconscious already tugging at the bits of his subconscious manifested to snooze.  

The muscles of his pillowy cheeks fight upward against the smush to the firm cushioning of his mattress, arms cuddled around the decorative cushion of deep blue. A pitched giggle echoes in the receptors of his brain, bouncing against the walls, a comforting sound. It’s foreign though, the melodic stutter, yet it engulfs his chest with the warmth of affection, his stomach turning with nerves of the giddy sort. 

He teeters on the edge of more, features dancing between streams, a waterfall blur. Yoongi aches for the reach, his physical and metaphorical being extending from the depths of his full size bed, yearning for the exploration of the four walls and beyond. He can swear his fingers graze the soft of skin, the trace of lip curved in sensuality just visible through sleepy haze. The giggles grow in volume, almost as if guided toward his hasty reach. 

“Jeongguk, shut up!” Yoongi falls forward, just catching onto the ledge of his dresser, quick reflexes doing wonders for his physical well being, but the skip in his mental and the stop of his heart are undeniable. 

He's heard the voice a handful of times, an arm eagerly shooting to respond to a professor’s quarry, the hidden mumblings that he swears he’s the only one to pick up on, his smirk almost never enough to stop impending chuckle.

It’s you. 

He knows, but can’t quite grasp that just beyond the barrier of belief, past the door sealed to keep from disturbance you’re somewhere laughing with Jeongguk. He listens for a moment, unmoving, to attempt a deciphering of your intentions, but laughter has turned to the inaudible mumblings from the room across the hall.  He’s silent in his trek to the door, pulling it on rusted hinges, cringing with every scrape of copper and wood. 

He slips down the hall on tiptoe, unsure if you’re attune to the other members of the house, but not ready to face you if Jeongguk’s door swings back to reveal the occupants of the small cubical. Yoongi makes way to the kitchen, surprised to find the rest of his roommates crowded into the sizable space, each occupied with their own endeavor of strewn textbooks and half frozen toaster strudel. 

“Well well look who’s awake,” Jimin sneers playfully in Yoongi’s direction, drawing attention from the rest of the room. 

“Bet I can guess why,” Taehyung snickers, glances exchanged with a conspiratorial air, the shift of Yoongi’s feet not unnoticed by his personal tormentors. “We told Jeongguk he might wanna keep it down, we know how you like your rest.” 

“Jeongguk didn’t wake me,” Not the correct turn of phrase, realized just moments late, the flicker of pupils raising with the feigned ah ha! Yoongi side steps them all, settling on the sphere of orange grabbing his interest from the bowl on the table, plopping into the nearest chair. 

“Oh he didn’t? Well what other reason could you possibly have to forgo your pre-study nap, hmmm?” Jin pokes at the slightly greened peel of Yoongi’s fruit, hand smacked away with haste. He withdraws to card through his hair, lengthening by the day, framing his face with more beauty than should be allowed by the ethereal senior. 

“I was hungry, s’all.” He tosses scraps with each peel of fruitful flesh, eagerly sliding bits of tangerine past his puckered lips. Anything to keep his mind from the fresh dose of giggles eating at his brain like a love bitten parasite. “Who—umm, who does Jeongguk have over.” 

“Oh, Kookie has a friend over? We had no idea,” Namjoon hums, glasses perched to the bridge of his nose, arms eaten by the sleeves of his hoodie. 

“Maybe you recognize their voice? I mean, you’re the only one close enough to hear it.” Hoseok’s grin is shit eating, half hidden behind the length of his hand, fingers curling in position at the tip of his chin. 

“Oh, oh! I think I recall him saying something about a...Y/—hmmm was it…” Taehyung fakes stumbles over the name, tips of his fingers tracing the glass of his crumbed plate. 

“Y/n.” Yoongi speaks through teeth clenched, his cheeks rosy from snatched sleep and the scrutiny he’s placed himself under, the heat of a lamp concentrated in the five pairs of eyes trained on his every movement for their amusement. 

“So you do know her, why don’t you go say hi?” Jin pats him with vigour, the sound of an echoed frame permeating the air of what Yoongi has affectionately titled, friendly toxicity. Those same muffled voices grow with the trek down the stairs, threatening to give way with each step. Yoongi lifts his eyes from his half eaten fruit for the first time since he sat down, daring them to say a word out of turn with a single look. 

“It’s pretty quiet considering seven guys live here,” Your voice is audible from the front door, Yoongi’s grip tightening, juice spilling down the crevices of his hand, soiling his shirt sleeve, palms already sticky from the stress. “I have one roommate and, as you’ve seen, she can be loud enough for the both of us.” 

“I’m just as surprised as you are actually. I know Yoongi is probably asleep,” Yoongi sinks into his chair, knowing glances threatening to drop him straight through the wooden surface. “The rest are probably out.” 

“Yoongi?” Your voice strays a bit, Yoongi’s lip twitching, unsure what to think of the sudden strain in pitch. 

“Yeah, do you know him?” 

“Oh, um...kinda? Not really, we share a class together, but we’ve never talked. I’m pretty sure he’d think he’s too cool for me anyways. You know, ‘misery chick’ and all.” Yoongi levels a stare at Hoseok whose arms lift in readied defense, though his own face conjures frown at your words. Your attention clearly never spotting the longing with which he’s leveled you for the past few months. 

“You’re not the ‘misery chick’,” Jeongguk’s voice holds firm reassurance, something Yoongi wishes he could give you, but he’s glued, too curious for the thought of impromptu interruption. “People are just jerks. Besides, Yoongi-hyung isn’t like that at all. He likes to pretend he doesn’t know how cool people think he is.” 

“Guess I’ll just have to take your word for it. I have to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow, Koo.” 

The door closes, Jeongguk just as soon rounding into the kitchen, tracks dead when there are six pairs of eyes trained on his figure. “Wha—have you all been here the whole time?” 

He only takes pause momentarily, his stride leading to the fridge, a juice box of all things pulled from metal confines. The naked eye would never guess the soft interior of Jeongguk, his features contrasting with the boots swallowing his feet and the tattoos eating his arm, tracing his digits. But he’s the walking embodiment of the careful youth painting each man posted in the room, a piece of him nursed by a piece of them with each day passing. 

“Yeah, we’re just hangin’ around, Jeonggukie.” Hoseok shrugs, ruffling the base of Jeongguk’s wild curls. 

“Well you’re doing it pretty quietly, Y/n thought it was weird.” 

“Are you guys dating?” Jimin’s question is thrown with abandon, eyes trained on Jeongguk with absolute focus, Yoongi sending a glare toward the silver haired fiend. 

“No.” Jeongguk pays little mind to the question, too busy squeezing every last drop from the box clutched in his fist, doe eyes glistening with concentration. “We met last semester in lit and she’s really cool so we started hanging out. You guys should meet her sometime, she doesn’t have a lot of friends because of this dumb rumor that she’s ‘the misery chick’ which is ridiculous because she’s one of the nicest people I’ve met here.” 

“Yeah, you can bring her over any time.” Namjoon encourages, book lowered to the table, face scrunching in mental agony when he realizes the corner of his novel is soaked with the spill of orange juice. 

“She said she knows you from class Yoongi, but she doesn’t think you’d like her. I think you would though! Maybe you should try to talk to her next class.” 

“Yeah,” Yoongi readily agrees, new found vigor in his speech. “Maybe…” 

Over the next several weeks, Yoongi is sure that coincidence isn’t what found his stare locked to yours, Jeongguk’s overheard conversation clearly leaving your interest peaked about Yoongi who was forced to make his own gazes less frequent for fear of being caught. His first sighting after he floated the walls of his home like a ghost in haunt was next lecture. 

The nerves that ate at his skin the first instance of your curious scan was turned bearable by the itching of excitement to his every nerve, skin alight with the tango of possibility traversing his very being. His attention was wayward, standing at the head of the class, scooping the pages required for lecture from the overflowing desk, a minute ‘excuse me’ cutting through the thick of his cogged brain. 

“Yes?” Was his response, regurgitated dumbly despite the forming line waiting for him to budge to his waiting seat. 

“Uh...could I get by...papers.” He smiles, unintentional, but the effect is the duck of your head, refusal to meet his eyes under such a heated gaze. He’s left to stare a moment longer before the snag of his sleeve, Hoseok forcing him away, calming the mob of students too impatient to momentarily still for the fruition of his romantic interest. 

Lately, your exit from class seems somehow quicker than usual, the practiced haste too much for him to master, another obstacle to his formal introduction. Though it seems your professor can read the tension that hovers the expanse of the classroom, a thread itching to be linked by two lovers, one unknowing of the delicate pull she has on her soul suitor. 

“Okay!” The professor stands at the front of the room, barely holding the attention of the class, barely holding Yoongi’s attention until he speaks once more. “Instead of a formal midterm, I want you all to complete a joint essay, yes you heard me correctly! I want you to pair up and write an essay on the topic of your choosing—as long as that topic is related to the course.” 

Yoongi perks up, ignoring the telltale that Hoseok hopes to grab him as soon as the class is dismissed because Yoongi has a plan of his own. 

“Of course I won’t force you to choose a partner, I know some of you prefer to work alone. But no more than two people to a group. Now I can see that you’re all on the edge of your seats, but I’m feeling generous today, so you’re dismissed, but your pages are due on my desk beginning of class Monday!” The final words of the professor send the class into frenzy, those who were paying attention quick to grab hold of their half and those who weren’t suddenly catching up and scrambling for someone who’ll make do.

“Hey, we’re partners, right?” Hoseok looks at Yoongi hopeful, but Yoongi already has his sights set on you, watching everyone link up, resigned to working solo. 

“Nah, I’ve got another partner in mind if that’s okay with you.” Hoseok catches the drift rather quickly, wide smile forgoing slight disappointment at his loss of the sure A on his midterm. 

“Go for it,” Hoseok gives a light shove forward, much appreciated by Yoongi whose heart threatens to burst from his chest, sure that the nerves are painted on his face like a slice of Van Gogh. He’s just in time, your hands shoved into your pockets, ready to leave the suffocation of a space smothered in unwelcome. 

“Hey.” Yoongi can see the uncertainty, your eyes glancing to either side to ensure that he is certainly addressing you. 

“Hey…” 

“So, this midterm thing is kinda weird, right?” He can already see the snicker on Hoseok’s face, though his friend is posted at the door opposite him. Your own lips quirk, his only thought of coherency aimed at how cute the action is. You rock on your heels, he notes your style isn’t far off from the bones of Jeongguk, hoodie black and heavy boots ready to stomp through endless waves of the nauseating sea of university. 

“Yeah...I guess it’s a little unconventional. But great for people who get test anxiety,” You humor him, hands withdrawing from jeaned confines to gesture wildly to the room void of anyone but the three remaining vessels, two of which are engaged in unlikely exchange. “Did you need something?” 

“Huh?” 

“Sorry! I don’t mean to be rude, but I have a class to get to and I have a thing about being late. I figure there’s a reason you’re talking to me seeing as we’ve never actually talked before…” You catch yourself in ramble, tripping over phrases whilst Yoongi watches without missing a beat. 

He’s incredibly taken with the way the words flow without pretense, a nice change to the closed off demeanor people falsely associate with you. He would listen for a lifetime to the things you have to say, hopefully with the clasp of finger and longing glances. Your intent is nonsense, nerves eating away at the buds of your tongue. To him it’s a poetry specially curated, a tickle to his throat bringing forth the soft laughter that halts your speech. 

“I’m sorry, you go ahead I’m just...nervous.” 

“No no, don’t apologize, I like listening to you,” He coos when you smile, quick to recover before your eyes, wide and attentive find his own once more, now notably softer, safer. “I love your smile too…” 

“You’re not so bad yourself…” Soft spoken and not altogether sure is the way you speak, your class long forgotten, a blip in rear view shadowed by the shining beacon before you. “So…?”

“Right, right...I was just wondering if you’d maybe wanna work together?” Despite compliments and hinted flirtation you’re taken aback by the offer, your eyes skirting Yoongi completely, raising question to the figure station by the exit. Hoseok offers you a smile you can’t help but return his thumbs raising in the affirmative. 

“He’s all yours,” Hoseok assures, taking his leave prematurely, Yoongi still waiting for confirmation. 

“No pressure, just thought I’d ask. I think we’d work well together,” And I wanna know you, he withholds for fear of frightening you more so than the sudden acknowledgement already has.

“Well I don’t know about that, but yeah I’d love to if you’re sure.” 

“I’m positive. Wanna meet at my place after school?” 

“Sounds good.” You pull your phone swiping at the screen before passing it over. “Just text me when you’re free.” 

“I’ll text the address,” He knows it’s unnecessary, just taking precautions to shield from the admission of his eavesdrop the last time you occupied the residence. You wait until you’re once again clutching the spherical confines of your devices, checking and double checking that all digits are present, not unfamiliar with the harsh reality of falsehood buried beneath genuine interest.

“Oh, I actually know where you live. My friend Jeongguk is one of your roommates, so I know my way.” 

“Well I’m sorry we’ve missed each other, that it took me so long to say hello.” Yoongi’s legs lead him half a step closer, an accidentally purposeful close of the gap between, your eyes avoid the bottom half of his face, focusing instead on the bill of his cap and the dark hair tickling the edges. 

“Guess you’ll just have to make up for it somehow.” 

“Guess I will.” 

Your visits to Yoongi are routine over the next week, the laughter filling the hectic halls caused by him rather than his roommates. He’s seen more of you in a week than he could’ve hoped in a lifetime, even more confused about the way you’ve been outcast by a majority of your major. He’s awed by your lack of reaction to the judgement of peers, often citing it as a joke, sarcasm lacing the words. 

It’s the day before assignment is due, you’re perched at Yoongi’s desk, he’s laying on his bed, tossing his basketball in mock free throw simultaneously with his toss of ideas while your fingers type vigorously in final draft. 

This particular evening leaves you alone with Yoongi, the other members of the house trying and failing to convince you to join for their weekly outing to the nearest bar where they would no doubt drink their weight to poorly prepare for the week to come. Yoongi was swift to opt out, much preferring your company to the stench of stale beer and jokes poorly executed by Jin after he downs his fifth shot. 

You were insistent that he let you handle the rest of the paper, just pages standing between you and your final product, but he’s too fond of the way your post-its decorate the shelf over his desk, different colored notes for every paragraph, the ink of your pens highlighting each point in magenta saturation. He’s obsessed with the way you hunch to close to the pages of your textbook while scolding him for getting too close to the screen of his laptop in the next breath. 

He can’t help the thought of what could be, close calls and a hair’s breadth stepping between you all week. It’s the price of seven roommates and a lock loosened with the jiggle of a handle. The hesitancy that still fills your pupils despite the easy way his words lace with genuine interest. 

Yoongi remembered what it was like to notice, deciding that it’s much better to experience you. The moment is delicate, your soft suggestions and argumentative replies tossed with a hint of tease lacing the bite of your tone. He doesn’t try to hide the smile that breaks the mold of his face, lips dampened by the press of gums prominent from healthy reach. 

“Can I ask you a question?” He raises, your fingers slowing against the keyboard, chair swiveling to offer full attention. “Does it bother you...the whole ‘misery chick’ thing?” 

He’s not sure what possesses it, but he is sure that knowing will make things easier, break a barrier that to him doesn’t exist. He knows your breath is baited, knows you’ve been waiting for the pull of the rug, so he offers a tug, a comforting teasing sort of thing to ease your mind and close the gap of misunderstanding that he could never blame you for. 

“Can I ask you a question? Do you believe the whole ‘misery chick’ thing?” You counter, scooting along hardwood until your knees are pressed to his mattress, sinking into the cushioned flesh as far as it allows. Your stare is careful, not expectant of the negative or offended by the positive. “It’s okay if you do, just don’t lie about it.” 

There's a sadness in your delivery and Yoongi notes it immediately. Your attempt to hide the twitch of your lip and the anxious fold of your hands in your lap don’t escape him. Your tone is even, your eyes much the same and he wonders how anyone could ever believe it, he’s grateful that he never did. 

“Not for a second.” He responds almost immediately, waiting for any lingering doubt on your end. It never comes.

“Good.” Is your reply, just as even as the question itself. Your shoulders relax, posture not as stiff as before. “It does bother me, not as much as it used to, but it does. It bothers me that they don’t like that I’m not like them. I don’t mean that in the whole ‘I’m not like other girls’ way, but I’m just not Cathy college, you know? I don’t get excited about parties and drinking, I don’t need to go out all the time to have fun, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you if you do, but I don’t and because I’m not like everyone else I have to be ‘the misery chick’.

He’s sure you don’t realize it, but Yoongi see’s the build of tears in your eyes, unshed but there and it breaks him. Breaks him that something so trivial could be the defining factor of someone’s experience, that you can hide it so well at the cost of your own happiness.

“I mean, it’s college, you’d think that people have better things to do than come up with reasons to ridicule someone, but I guess I have too much faith.” You finish, glancing up to find Yoongi all ears, lips etched in frown. “Sorry, you didn’t ask for all of that.” 

“People suck.” Is all he says, hand extending toward you, inviting you to join him on his island, silent but sure. You crawl the length of the mattress, your back pressing the headboard, fingers laced with his own, warm and sweaty from nerves, yours or his neither of you are sure. 

“People do suck.” 

“I know what’ll make you feel better.” He offers, thumb running along the jagged edges of your knuckle, skin kissing skin. You lift your head, half leaning on his shoulder so your eyes meet, a reflection of picture perfect, a record in perfect sync. 

“Yeah?” 

“You should go out with me.” Yoongi doesn’t expect a snort, but the response is exactly what he receives your head averting to conceal your laughter, hands shielding your face from the expanse of an ego deflated by the graze of your accidental needle. “Why are you laughing?” 

“No I’m not—I just—you’ve been looking at me like I’m completely insane all semester! I didn’t think you liked me, I thought you were looking right through me...I kinda thought you were just coming to class high every day.” 

“I don’t even smoke, those were not the eyes of a stoner, they were the eyes of a man who’s very fond of you.” Yoongi defends his position, his usually dormant stare now bugged to exaggeration, unavailable for serious consideration. 

“My mistake, though I don’t know whether to be weirded out or completely flattered.” 

“You better be so flattered that I can see hearts in your eyes because you were pretty quick to agree to be my partner for this project!” Yoongi keeps the charade, glad to lighten the tension and draw from the heaviness of the previous conversation. It’s not a chapter that’s closed, but the beginning is the build and he’s planning an entire novel with you, so he figures his time isn’t limited by the tick of a clock nearing the midnight hour. 

“I heard I’ve got a sure ‘A’  and I’d be an idiot to pass that up.” 

“You could get a passing grade in your sleep, you can’t fool me. But you can go on a date with me.”

“So you, cool guy Min Yoongi, want to go on a date with me, ‘the misery chick’?” You gasp, hand clutched to your chest, Yoongi’s hand catching hold and bringing it to his own, to the beat of his heart, the bass begging for a melody that only you can satisfy. 

“More than anything.” 

“Well when you put it that way I have no choice but to say yes, but to be clear, I’ve definitely seen you looking at Hoseok with that same look in your eyes so you might wanna sort some stuff out first—”

[shurisneakers]

shut in [4]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, threats

Word count: 3.7k

A/N: greetings everyone!! how are we all doing? i have nothing to say here tbh so anyway stan sam wilson being a lil shit whenever possible. 

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!! also if you want to be on the taglist, it’s mentioned at the bottom of the chapter.

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

“I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Alright, thank you.”

You hung up the call, trudging back to the house, discarding the battery along the way.

The air had a chill to it and there was an occasional breeze that went past, rustling leaves providing an eerily comforting background score. The temperature tended to rise as the day went on but nights were especially cold due to the abundance of trees. 

Even though the stress of the situation you were in constantly consumed all your waking thoughts, you still found the time to appreciate how beautiful your surroundings were. 

The last few days were barely memorable. Sam and you tended to stay out of each other's way unless your meal time coincided or you watched the local news together. The schedule had worked out favourably.

He wasn’t very hard to live with.

Most of the time.

His commentary and small jokes were never-ending but were not as unwelcome as you initially thought. It brought some much needed light into your otherwise dreary day. When it came to figuring out how to do laundry due to your now extended stay or whose turn it was to do it, things got a bit messy but were resolved quickly.

He used to disappear often for hours on end. You never concerned yourself with going after him to find out where he went, figuring that unless he was hatching a plot that led to your demise, he was entitled to his own privacy. He’d return a while later, calmer than when he left.

It was fine. Nothing to write home about. Neither of you were dead yet.

“What are you doing on the bed?” You were reconsidering your last thought when you walked into the bedroom to resume your self-interrupted sleep, only to find him face down on the sheets. “It’s my day today.”

“Just give me some time. I’ll be out of here soon enough.” His voice was muffled as he spoke into the sheets.

“You can take all the time you need tomorrow when it’s your turn.” You swatted at his legs, earning a grunt of chagrin from him.

“Go eat some soup and maybe you’ll calm down,” he fired back, unmoving.

“Today’s not soup day. Which you would know if you paid attention to our schedule. That we made. Together. The same schedule which says it’s my turn today.”

He groaned, shoving his face deeper into the pillow. “My back’s killing me. Just give me a few.”

“Why, what’d you do?” you asked curiously, letting go of his leg.

“Combat training. Took a few beatings, fucked up my spine.”

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“It comes and goes.” Sam finally rolled onto his back, giving you a view of his face. His bone structure was amazing, even from quite possibly the ugliest angle you could have over him. “You should’ve seen the other guy.”

You just stared at him as he linked his arms behind his neck, elevating his head to look at you. He had a small stubble that was starting to grow longer. You wondered if he would shave it. He looked good regardless.

“How’s your beloved?”

“Huh?”

“The person you keep sneaking around to talk to on the phone. I’m not your dad, y’know. You can talk to them inside the house, ‘m not gonna ground you,” he quipped, a small, teasing smile on his face.

“He’s not my lover. Just... an acquaintance.” You felt the awkwardness starting to set in after you trailed off. “Anyway since you’re awake, we need to talk.”

“‘Bout what?”

“What happened that day. We’ve been avoiding it but we need to figure out what went wrong. Or at least a clue.”

“Okay,” Sam agreed, wincing as he sat up straight. “How do you want to do it?”

“Just talk me through how you got put on this mission and what exactly happened that day, I guess.” You took a place on the bed, leaning backward on your hand for support.

He nodded, delaying for a second to collect his thoughts before beginning.

“So basically-”

The sun was particularly relentless that day.  

The ringing bell above the door of his favourite coffee shop was a welcoming sound. The barista smiled at him in greeting, asking if he wanted his usual to go.

His park bench was empty as it always was. Sam liked to think of it as a small gift from the universe; the fact that it was perpetually unoccupied.

He liked to sit there and watch people’s day go by. His iced coffee-

“I don’t really require that much detail.”

“Patience. I’m getting there.”

It was arguably one of the most peaceful days he had had in awhile, and he was hoping to keep the streak going. Nothing seemed like it would phase him, not even the phone ringing, drawing his attention away from the scene in front of him. Caller ID didn’t trace who it was.

“Hello?”

“Wilson.”

Sam gripped the cup so hard he thought it might spill over onto his jeans.

“I told you not to call me, Ransone.”

“But honey we had such a good time last night,” he faux cooed, “You know I have needs-”

“I’m not getting involved in your stupid organisation, Vincent. I told you I’m done,” Sam broke in, not wanting to waste time listening to his stupid dramatics.

“Listen here, Wilson.” The swift change in his tone was looming, threatening. “You’re done when I say you’re done-”

“Wanna bet?” Sam took a sip of his coffee. “I thought we made it clear in Detroit that we’re done. Honey.”

He added the last part out of pure spite just to get a rise out of him. Much to his glee it seemed to work as Ransone let out a deep exhale before continuing.

“That was before we found out there’s a mole in my gang. I want you to kill him.”

“This is way below my pay grade. Have one of your interns do it. Your shitty murder warehouse hasn’t seen much action in a while.”

“This is Pierce we’re talking about. If he’s working for another organisation, his ass is going to be so guarded, these kids couldn’t wouldn’t even get past the gate. Besides, you know my murder warehouse is for special guests only-”

“Man, it must suck real hard to be you right now,” Sam didn’t wait for him to complete his sentence. He finished the last bit of the drink he had left, gathering his things before standing up. “Find someone else. I’m out.”

“You might want to reconsider that. We found him.”

He stopped in his tracks.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sam said steadily, grip on the phone tightening.

“I think you do, though. Had us fooled for a while there, thinking he’s dead. A little more research, some cash into the right pockets and boom! There he is, clear as day.”

Sam felt a chill go up his spine.

“He doesn’t know we know. We’re just keeping an eye on him for now.”

“If you even fucking think of touching him-” his fists were balled up, struggling to keep his anger from rising.

“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t.” Ransone laughed. “I’ll just have one of my interns do it.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Ransone. It’s not somethi-”

“Do this hit and I’ll leave him alone,” Ransone interjected. “You’ve worked so hard to pull him from our radar, Sammy. It would be a shame if it all went to waste.”

Sam’s jaw clenched. Suddenly the day didn’t seem as bright as it was a few minutes ago.

“I’ll text you the details. You tend to leave me on read so I thought I’d make it more fun. Do you want the confetti with the message or the lasers-”

Sam just hung up the call, feet firmly rooted in his spot. He had no idea what he was going to do.

The notification of a new text alerted him. Pierce’s address along with the exact timeline of when he’d be home.

It was across the country. If he botched the mission on purpose, Ransone wouldn't be able to find him for a few days at least, much less reach him. He could go on the run-

‘Do it or he dies.’

His train of thought was interrupted by a picture that made his blood boil.

Especially when it exploded with the stupid confetti effect.

“Okay, basically he threatened you with something to go do the hit.” You didn’t ask him what exactly he was threatening him with and Sam didn’t really elaborate.

“Yeah. Didn’t leave me with much of a choice. He’s batshit fuckin’ crazy anyway, I knew he’d do whatever he felt like.”

“So you ended up going.”

Pierce didn’t seem to get many visitors. Not that anyone could be blamed, this guy was one of the biggest pieces of shit Sam had had the misfortune of meeting.

Over the two days he had staked out in front of the mansion to find out if this guy had as much security as Ransone had boasted of, Sam had come to the conclusive truth that no, he very much did not. He had a standard home security system which was lacklustre compared to the rest of the house.

Maybe he just assumed that being a senior member of the mob would garner some fear to his name. Dumbass.

He found the tall shrubbery surrounding the property to be out of the line of sight of the camera, and climbing it wasn't very hard. He landed softly on the manicured lawn, adjusting his gloves and checking his surroundings before pulling his gun that was secured in the waistband of his pants.

He removed the safety, keeping it close to him as he stalked through the front yard.

The red car parked at the side earned an eye roll from him. If he had one, there was no doubt there’d be more. He just had to find a basement or garage.

Walking around the house, he kept close to the wall, searching for any opening to the basement.

It didn’t take long before he found a set of stairs to the exterior entrance of the basement. He checked to see if anyone was around before making his way down them. The lock was unsurprisingly easy to pick.

The basement was mostly dark save for a few strategic lights placed to highlight the magnificence of his several race cars. The man was moved slower than the second coming of Jesus. The cars just seemed like an overcompensation.

The switchboard was not difficult to find. He pulled open the cover, glancing at the switches before turning all of them off, plunging the whole basement into darkness. If his security system was as outdated as Pierce was, it would have turned off along with the rest of the house.

“Oh, that’s why the cameras weren't working when I showed up.” Bits that seemed amiss were beginning to place itself together the more his story progressed. “I assume you entered the house through the window on the side?”

“Sure did.”

Your guess was right. He’s the reason why it was ajar by the time you arrived.

As soon as he entered he had his gun raised. Scanning the room as he went past, his senses were dialed up to eleven. If he was really under the protection of Serpentine, they were doing a terrible job. He had gotten in completely unscathed.

As he made his way deeper into the house, the sound of some movie playing became louder. But he had cut off the power supply to the house.

His eyebrows pulled together tightly into a frown, he made his way down the hall towards the sound. No one was in the dining or living room he canvassed.

Finally, Pierce’s silhouette became clearer. He appeared to just be sitting there idly while a smaller screen played in front of him. It wasn’t a TV, just an iPad.

If Pierce was asleep it would just make the job easier. Gun raised, Sam made his way into the room silently.

Pierce was still. Sam raised the gun, taking a step closer.

A floorboard creaked.

He immediately cringed, shoulders tensed as he came to an immediate stop. It seemed like forever as he waited for Pierce to wake up, to brandish a gun and try and defend himself.

He didn’t.

Taking a step to the side, Sam moved diagonally. Each one was slow. Ready for any sudden movements from his end.

He finally stopped in front of Pierce.

A bullet hole in his forehead. Eyes open. Chest still.

He was dead.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Sam breathed out, lowering his gun. Pierce’s glassy eyes stared blankly ahead. He didn’t look like had been dead for too long.

A soft thud in another room made his head snap up. It was in the same direction from where he came.

He silently moved backwards to the corner of the room, hoping that the darkness was enough of a disguise as he saw someone stalking down the hallway.

“And that’s when you come in. Thought you were comin’ back to make sure he was dead.”

“I had just got there. Saw that everything was off, and just assumed it was a power outage.”

“What about you? How’d you end up there?” Sam had his legs crossed, leaning forward to listen to you.

“Ransone told me that there was a spy who was sending information out for nearly two years. Needed him gone and he wasn’t sure if his other agent would show up-” you mentioned to him- “I guess that’s you. Told me I had an opening at 8pm. When I got there, the CCTV was off. Found the window open so I just used that.”

You were replaying your memory, step by step to remember what exactly you had seen. 

“Heard the movie playing, found no one when I went down the hall. I saw the car keys on the island, which came in handy later. Entered the room, pushed his head with the gun and he just slumped over like a damn rag doll. That’s when you made your grand entrance.”

“Got one chance to make an impression. Had to make sure I looked cool, emergin’ from the shadows and whatnot.”

“It doesn’t make sense though.”

“Ouch. Thought it was pretty legit, actu-”

“No, no-” you waved him off. “Not your entrance. The henchmen thing.”

He paused, mulling over what you said. “If he was working for Serpentine, he would have been more careful. Why did they show up after he’s dead?”

“I don’t think they work for Serpentine. If Pierce was giving them information, they wouldn’t kill him.” You had good reason to be confident about that. You thought you did, from previous assessments.

“Unless they were scared that he’d switch again,” Sam suggested. You looked up from your fidgeting fingers to him. “Didn’t want any of their secrets going back to Ransone. They got to him before we did.”

“Why’d they shoot at us then? If they killed him and left, why’d they wait for us to show up? Why did they try to kill us?”

“I think we’re ignoring the important thing here,” he paused. You looked at him expectantly, prodding him on. “How did they know we were coming? They should have killed him and disappeared but they expected us.”

You tilted your head. “Are you saying-”

“There might be more.”

“Pierce might not have been the only one,” you finished. “There are more spies.”

“Tipped ‘em off. Told them we were going to be there.”

“And killing us was just to poke Ransone with a stick,” you murmured, eyes downcast, fidgeting with your fingers again. “But that just seems random. It doesn’t make sense.”

“None of this makes sense, sweetheart.” Sam scoffed, leaning back again.

“We’re missing something. There’s something wrong.” You looked at him. “If it’s just a random attack, why did they release our face to the whole fuckin’ country? Why are they specifically targeting us?”

“Finishing what they started. Covering all their tracks from that day. If we’re not dead, we’re a liability.”

“What if it’s not Serpentine at all? What if it’s another gang?”

“Serpentine has the most motive.”

“We don’t know that.”

He looked at you incredulously. “I think there’s substantial evidence to suggest they fuckin’ hate us. Besides, they’d want me dead specifically.”

“Why?” you inquired, eyes narrowing.

He opened his mouth like he was going to explain but closed it a second later, leaving you guessing.

“Fine, but it doesn’t mean they’re the only ones who do.” You made a point to ask him later or at least conduct your own research into it. 

“Okay,” he said, shifting to lean on his elbows, “who else could it be? If Pierce was working for Serpentine and Ransone found out, sends someone to kill him, it’s essentially an attack on one of their own members. I’d say that's a pretty good motive.”

“I don’t know. Hydra doesn’t like us either. There’s Ten Rings too. But Serpentine just doesn’t work out.”

“How are you sure?” he asked. “You a spy for them too?”

You rolled your eyes at him as he raised his eyebrow. “It doesn’t make sense. What if we’re missing something? Did we go through everything?”

“I just went through my entire story down to the most irrelevant details. Twice. Nothing’s missing on my end.” He pushed himself off the bed, taking a long stretch before looking back at you.

“I think we should do it again. Just to make sure.” You rotated your torso to look at him. “We can figure it out-”

“You’re going to lose your mind if you keep at this any longer for today. Take a break.”

“I can’t take this lightly. Everyone’s out there looking for us and there is no one we can trust-”

“And going through our stories for the third time today is going to solve that how?” He had his hands crossed over his chest like a stern parent.

“I’m sorry but our faces are probably plastered in every damn police precinct in the country,” you snapped, “And I think that us remembering something some stupid detail might actually help rather than, I don’t know, taking naps and eating sandwiches. So no, I’m not going to drop it. Because I actually want to get out of here.”

You didn’t mean to sound so angry with him. He had told you everything twice already and patiently answered questions that you had. You didn’t think he was lying. You had no way of knowing but you hoped that some sort of allegiance was being formed between you both.

There was silence for a minute, leaving enough time for the guilt to creep in when he didn’t fire back. It’s what you expected.

“I’m not asking you to drop it. I’m saying take a break,” he said calmly. “You’re thinkin’ enough for the both of us anyway.”

You let out a small exhale, forcing the edge to retreat from your voice.

“I’ll be back in a while.” With that he turned around and left the room. A few minutes later you heard the backdoor open and shut.

Great.

You massaged your throbbing temples, eyes closed. He was right. Your mind wasn’t clear and you had been at this for hours. You wouldn’t be able to think critically.

Or at all.

You dropped back on the bed, grabbing a pillow and pressing it to your face. The coolness of the fabric felt nice.

You just let out a sigh, turning to your side to hopefully get some sleep.

_____

You woke up what seemed like hours later to a dark room.

It took your eyes a while to adjust stepping out into the hallway illuminated by the light in the kitchen.

“Hey,” Sam’s voice rang out. “Made you a sandwich.”

You rubbed your eyes groggily, looking where he was pointing. Sure enough, there was a sandwich on the table. He sat at the seat adjacent to it.

“Thank you.” You contemplated sitting next to him for dinner. It would be a first.

In the end you just grabbed your plate, giving him a half smile before making your way to the couch. You settled on sitting on the floor instead, leaning your back against the foot of the sofa.

The TV was already halfway through playing Megamind so you just let it continue, mindlessly chewing on the bread. As far as peanut butter sandwiches go, it wasn’t all that bad.

“Wilson,” you called out sheepishly, eyes not leaving the movie. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. It wasn’t right.”

“It’s okay.”

How he let go of it so easily was beyond you. The sandwich was surprising too, but you took it, not wanting to change his mind. He couldn’t have poisoned it. You had checked his stuff.

You sat in silence for the rest of the movie. Your mind kept slipping in and out of thought but it was a comfortable atmosphere you found yourself in.

After the credits started rolling, you went to leave your plate in the sink. Sam brushed past you, grabbing the blanket at the foot of the couch, launching himself onto the cushions.

“What are you doing?” you asked, puzzled as he snuggled in.

“Going to sleep?” He tilted his head to look at you.

“Use the bed.”

“It’s your turn today.”

“Your back’s fucked up. I’ll take the couch.”

He didn’t budge.

“Go on.” You mentioned to the room with a shrug of your shoulder.

“You’re not going to let me argue, are you?”

You pressed your lips into a straight line to hide a smile, shaking your head lightly.

“Well, okay.” He let out a small noise as he got up. “Guess I’m sleeping business class tonight.”

Sam walked past you, careful not to bump into you. You swapped places with him, making your way to the couch, readjusting the blanket that was haphazardly left there.  

“Y/N.” You peered at him from the corner of your eye, only to fully turn when you caught his gaze. “I appreciate it.”

You just nodded, tossing the blanket over yourself as he switched off the light.

Next part

[digitalprophetsworld]

I wanna add onto a few of these ;p I love seeing headcannons about him ...

He definitely has a few documents of stupid lil stick figures in various scenarios! Sometimes they're fighting, sometimes it's just a walk/run cycle.

He's definitely the pirating master when it comes to wanting to watch some older cartoons for nostalgia. (He says it's for nostalgia... even if he's not technically that old.) He probably has a playlist on YouTube for all the dumb/edgy shit he liked watching.

Definitely games when he isn't supposed to... no one has caught him though.

SUCH a hogger! He loves laying on a couch or sitting criss cross in the middle to take up as much space as possible. I imagine he's not much of the type to take a bunch of food, but if something he likes to eat is in stock, he's definitely snagging 80% of it.

He's definitely been confused as human once or twice or a cosplayer of his own twin brothers.

Despite staying in his cam room a bunch, if he starts to feel shitty or gross while just sitting around, he takes it as a sign to work out his body a bit. He'll do push-ups, sit-ups, etc. It helps his figure and bad posture a bit, and afterward, he feels a little less shitty! He doesn't really have a consistent schedule, though.

People are definitely a little scared of Legacy. Especially older guests who watched him develop into who he is now. He's mad, he can get loud, and he's aggressive if pushed to that point — not a good look, really. R-T is sick of him and his temper.

He definitely wishes he could be his older self sometimes. :c If he ponders on it too long, he'll get urges to ask R-T to let him back out with his brothers, or maybe ask his brothers to let him patrol with them, promising he'll never make another mistake. But he knows he's fucked up in his code, so he just fantasizes all of this instead of acting on it.

Legacy is always quiet in a conversation unless it's about a topic he liked or he's talked to directly. He's asked if he's okay, and he just, "...I'm fine, just listening." He is listening a little... but he's mostly zoning out.

GODDDD HE'D HATE ALTER ERROR LMAO. He'd think it'd be fine. It's just another version of himself, nothing special, but the Alter Error starts to talk about media he likes, and Legacy has a hard realization that this guy is NOTHING like him!

He's definitely still very strong aside from being cooped up and not working out 24/7!

I could see him being a caffeine addict... he's more of an energy drink type, though. Coffee is rare, but if there's some leftover from his brothers, he doesn't mind pouring the rest in a mug. (P.S. useless fact, he likes sugar in his coffee and ONLY uses chocolate creamers.)

He is far from a talker! Legacy is more of a listener or the type to just zone out in conversation. Especially if it's R-T or someone he just doesn't like. He's used to it after all.

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to yap about him again! I'll draw him soon and respond to questions on him...

⭐🚨 Legacy Headcanons thread! 🚨⭐

A few headcanons I thought about and wrote down in my notes before about him!

• Legacy makes small scribbles on his paper documents. He gets so bored in his office that he randomly makes little doodles on the paper. (He either does stick figures or those little circles face. Or maybe he'll write an extremely big, bold letter with a lighting or multiple exclamation mark with a pen. He pressed his pen so hard that ink spilled out and got disappointed & irritated w the mess he made)

• He probably watch web cartoons from the 2000s or 2010s stuff. (Ex: Your favorite Martian, dick figure, etc. He probably once watched some early edgy cartoons animation on YouTube too.)

• He may or may not play some flash game on his computer, but whenever someone walks in to check up to see him doing his paperwork, he'll immediately switch tabs.

• He's a hogger for everything. Take up most of the seat (placing both of his legs on an empty spot), steal foods (if he can even eat), etc. his family hate him for that.

• Back then, when he was his old self, He always had trouble asking for help from both his boss (R-T) and his siblings (Larry & Lawrie). With Larry, he's able to communicate and get assistance, but Lawrie on the other hand, he couldn't speak up since he thinks he'll annoy him. There was a time where he was proven right when Lawrie just bluntly told him no and walked off. But when he does help him, it can be a little frustrating since Legacy has trouble understanding and has to repeat himself several times.

• Due to Legacy's appearance & personality, people would often forget that he's a robot and not a human. His face looks very similar to a human being with his white eyes. Even his attitude and not following his code like he was programmed to is a contributor factor for people mistaking him as a human.

• He's a bit out of shape due to being inside his room, sitting in his chair, and overall him being lazy. He just doesn't have the energy like he used to before. Doesn't help the fact that at times, he can feel sluggish as well. And that chair basically gave him a bad posture and felt a sense of soreness in his back or something.

• People are scared of legacy. Not in an intimidating way like his brother Lawrie or unnerving like R-T, but moreso in a concerning way. (Ex is him interrogating a criminal and failing to get an answer out of them that at one point, he snapped & randomly slammed his fist onto the table, flipped it over before he dragged them and threw them out of the theme park. All in a matter of seconds. There was also time where he trashed the interrogation room out of anger and proceeded to shout at the suspect causing them to flinch and panic. Even his brothers had to tell him he was taking it too far and took over for him. R-T then got mad at Legacy over how he dealt with the person in the room and lectured him.)

• At one point, Legacy would even think about his earlier days and maybe get nostalgic over it so he could make himself feel like shit in his current day.

• He has commitment issues. After all, he never had an actual long lasting relationship & has a history of repeated failure. To add onto that, he also has avoidant attachment issues. Even if the relationship lasted long and he was happy with the person, he would get anxiety and overthink so much that he ended up being the one who leaves early and cut them off. He would feel bad for the other person who didn't do anything wrong, but I guess he wanted to call it off quickly before they can do it first. In other words, he has to be the first person to run & ghost them.

• Pre-version legacy used to be soft spoken and a bit of a gentleman toward the guest. Perhaps has a bit of shyness in him, but he has that enthusiasm to make up for it. Even the smallest confidence helps him as well!

• Pre-version legacy would often get taken advantage of by guests to get out of trouble. Him spotting the visitor trying to steal merch from the gift shop and confront them about it? They could just lie about how they were gonna pay for it and make him feel like shit for falsely accusing them of stealing even though that was the case. He would feel embarrassed and apologize to them for the misunderstanding. In other words, he was gaslighted by the guests. Since then, it made him overthink the situation he's witnessed and would often have his siblings & boss getting mad at him for letting them get away.

• At one point, Legacy was willing to leave his room on his own at night to look around the theme park and admire the scenery. After all, being inside the room can get boring and mentally draining, so why not go out for a little night stroll?

• Legacy may or may not feel like he wants friends. He's used to being on his own and he doesn't mind the loneliness and independence, but he would feel awkward whenever someone is nice toward and offered to let him hang out w them. Legacy would always say no before he eventually budged in and let them take him. But it's not like he'll do anything with them at all tbh. Speaking of which-

• He's that one friend in the group where everyone could be talking to each other, jokes around and such meanwhile he's just silently sitting there watching them interact as his mind drifts somewhere else. (People would often mistake him as being sad when he wasn't.)

• Literally the mf that would only have cameos, appears in the background/sideline, and have a small second of screentime with no dialogue and it would actually fit his character.

• If he were to meet his glitch version (Alter Error), he would be EMBARRASSED- He would avoid him and cringe to himself seeing the version where he's dumb, very socially awkward, overly chummy, and a nerd who's very much a weeaboo.

• He would kinda have bad hygiene? I mean like if he were to get his clothes dirty up by the mud, he would just get a paper towel and wipe it enough for it to look like it disappeared and continue on with the stain on his clothes without getting a new pair. He'll only change clothes when the stain mark is very noticeable or the smell is so strong he has to get another pair.

• he might feel the muscle soreness from his chair after getting up or waking up from his seat. (He has to stretch his body & arms to relieve the stress. He would also reach against his back with his hands and push it to crack his bone and get him straightened up)

• Despite the laziness making him out of shape, he is still a bit strong! He can push himself harder if he has the motivation too and keep up with his brothers for a good amount of time until it's over. He can even help assist with heavy objects and such for the employees.

• Possibly a caffeine addict? He only drinks coffee but never water (to be fair, he's a robot, but at the same time, the promo w Larry and Lawrie shows Larry holding a cup of coffee in his hands so maybe Legacy could consume food. Idk tho.) Or maybe he just drinks a lot of soda instead.

• He rarely talks at all. In fact, he's often very quiet and only speaks when he needs to. After all, he doesn't communicate with people that much and often gives a short response as stated before. He's just very reserved.

⭐End Of Thread (Bonus fanart at the end!)⭐

[hanemiso]

Wish I Were Tohru

>>> a sohma yuki x reader <<<

genre: lil fluff, lil angst??

warnings: none

song: heather by conan gray

synopsis: you’ve been able to get close to the Sohma and become close friends with him. you have feelings for him, but you’re pretty sure he has feelings for Honda Tohru.

a/n: I love this boy and he needs love, I AM HERE TO SUPPLY LOVE 🥺❤️ honestly Yuki is my favorite from Fruits Basket, Haru being a close second and Kyo a close third!! I just don’t see enough Fruits Basket content on here so I thought maybe I’d make some, but this one is kinda shitty ngl. It was long but it just doesn’t feel like my best work. But, I’ve been working on this for a while, so I thought I’d post it anyway heh :)) I guess this means I officially write for Fruits Basket now!!!

It all started the 3rd of December, when your feelings for Yuki made themselves apparent. On that winter day, you were freezing because you weren’t wearing a warm enough coat and Yuki gave you his sweater while you two walked to school. Your cheeks warmed up quicker than the rest of your body as he smiled at you and wrapped his sweater around your shoulders. With a close-eyed smile, he warmly said that it looked better on you than it did on him; those words struck a cord in your heart, and from then on you accepted the fact that you had fallen for the boy who had become your closest friend.

Of course, you got shit for it from his fan club and they relayed all the rules of the fan club to you during lunch. But after that incident, some of the girls from the fan club began asking Yuki for his sweater, to which he shot them down nicely. That small action didn’t go unnoticed either, and made you feel like he only ever did that for you, and made you fall even harder for the Sohma.

It’s been months since that instance, and you haven’t said anything to him about your feelings because you didn’t want to look like another one of the girls from his fan club desperate for his attention and love. But, seeing as you two have grown closer and you’ve gained enough confidence to do something about your feelings, you decided yesterday that you would confess to him today.

You walk up to him in the hallway during passing period, slightly shaking from nerves, and get his attention by calling his name. He turns around and smiles at you, earning you a glare from the class president who was talking to him earlier.

“Oh, l/n-san, hello!” Yuki greets warmly. 

“Hey Sohma-kun! Can I...” you start, but trail off as you see his eyes drift away from yours and land on someone behind you. You glance behind you and see Honda Tohru, your friend, walking down the hall with Uotani and Hanajima. When you look back at Yuki, you can see his eyes follow her figure as she passes, gazing softly. Seeing that makes your heart drop, along with your confidence level.

When he looks back at you, you shake out of your thoughts and quickly say, “uh, sorry, I meant to tell you I’m busy after school so I won’t be walking home with you guys today.”

A look of confusion crosses his features briefly, but is replaced with a smile as he answers with, “Oh, alright. I’ll let Honda-san know.”

You thank him with the best fake smile you can muster before quickly walking down the hall to your next class. When you’re far enough away, your smile drops, as does your gaze. You definitely took notice of how Yuki’s eyes seemed to brighten as he watched Tohru walk by, brighter than the blue sky. It was a look you were sure Yuki never bestowed upon you, but you understand why. Obviously, Tohru is very pretty; definitely a sight for sore eyes. She’s so kind and thoughtful, among other things, Her personality draws people to her, and you can understand why. And because you can understand why Yuki would gaze at her like that, your confidence plummeted and your confession got caught in your throat. But you didn’t want Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru to know your mood was gloomy, which is why you chose to walk home alone today.

They shouldn’t see you in such a down mood stemmed from jealousy; it’s not fair to them and it would only make you as mature as his fangirls. Jealousy is not a flattering color, after all.

On your walk home, the moment replayed in your head. Your brain kept trying to pick apart his facial expression, hoping to find some solace in the evidence of a misunderstanding. Finding optimism in the hopes of a misunderstanding, you walk along the street with your head held high, deciding to try again tomorrow.

.

.

But, oh how unfortunate you’d be this week.

The next morning, there’s news of chilly weather for the rest of the week, right when it was starting to warm up a little. It doesn’t matter much to you, seeing as you grab a nice coat this time to keep you warm. You walk out the door and see Yuki and Kyo standing in front of your house, waiting for you to join them on the walk to school. Their attention turns to you as you approach them, and they greet you. As you greet them back, Kyo shifts his stance a little to reveal Tohru standing behind him with a smile on her face...and Yuki’s sweater pulled over her uniform. The same sweater he had given you to wear in December. The sweater you thought he had only given you to wear.

And yet again, your confidence plummets into the floor. All you can do to keep your mood seemingly high is smile and remain silent on your walk to school. Yuki and Tohru are caught in a conversation the entire way, which Kyo sometimes comments on, but Kyo notices how quiet you’ve gotten and how you won’t make eye contact with any of them. He ruffles your hair, causing you to look up at him in surprise because he doesn’t do that unless he’s trying to lift your spirits.

“Do you wanna...talk after school?” He asks, turning his head away from you.

You smile, knowing he’s trying to give you support. Kyo was always like that; he does care a lot, but he doesn’t always know how to show it.

“Yes, thanks Kyo-kun.”

.

.

“Alright, spit it out.” Kyo says, leaning against the wall.

You sigh, turning your gaze to the ground as you try to explain everything to him. It all sounds really stupid to you when you say it out loud, like it’s not a big deal...but it feels like one. It feels like he’s messing with your emotions, but Yuki’s not the kind to do that intentionally. Once you’re done spilling your guts to Kyo, he continues to stare at the tree in front of him as your hands begin playing with the ends on your skirt.

“It’s stupid, I know. And it’s not like I hate Tohru-chan, I could never. She’s such an angel, I can understand why you’re both so drawn to her. In fact, it wouldn’t be surprising if Yuki was in love with her. I just...I wish...”

I wish I were Tohru.

That’s what you wanted to say. Jealously really is an ugly shade.

“Uhm, never mind, Kyo-kun! It’s nothing, I promise. I shouldn’t be complaining like this; I shouldn’t burden you with this nonsense, especially when it’s about someone you dislike.” You add quickly, concealing your true feelings with a close-eyed smile.

Kyo looks at you with wide eyes, surprised at your change of attitude. Sure, he doesn’t really care about anything that has to do with Yuki, but when it also concerns you, a close friend, he cares a lot. The fact that you tried to invalidate your feelings pisses him off, but he tries putting that aside as he faces your retreating form.

“W-Wait, y/n-”

“Uhm, let’s go Kyo-kun! I’m sure you don’t want to be here any longer than you already have to.” You smile at him, taking steps towards the school gates.

That fake happiness; the facade you’re hiding behind to mask your hurt feelings, it’s definitely becoming more transparent to Kyo as all the words you uttered about the issue swirl in his mind. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s at a loss for words. He’s never cared about Yuki or what’s going on in his life, so how can he possibly give advice on an issue concerning him?

As you both walk in silence in the direction of your homes, Kyo replays your words over and over in his head, trying to think of something to say to encourage you in some way.

“L-Listen, don’t give up so easily y/n! Just tell him how you feel, I mean you’ve come this far! You know how much I hate that rat, but he’s not...a bad guy. And if I’m wrong and he breaks your heart, I’ll break his stupid face for you!”

You look up at Kyo in surprise, cause you know that must’ve taken a lot out of him to say something semi-nice about Yuki. He doesn’t dare make eye contact; his head faces away from you as his shoulders tense and he balls his fists. Something about how reluctant he is to admit it makes you laugh, and your laugh causes his eyes to widen as he looks at you.

“What? Are you laughing at me?!” He exclaims.

You shake your head with a soft smile on your face, a genuine smile.

“Nope, nothing of the sort. Thanks Kyo-kun, I won’t give up on my confession! Yuki and I planned a study session for tomorrow, so I’ll plan to confess to him then!”

“Good.”

.

.

After you changed out of your uniform at home, you set off for the Sohma residence. It’s not a long walk from your house to Yuki’s, so you slow your pace a bit to take in the scenery and steel your nerves.

After talking with Kyo yesterday, you hadn’t exactly figured out how you were going to tell him, or even when. Lucky for you, the study session you both had planned a week ago was an early one; close to right after school, maybe about an hour or two off?

After trekking up those myriad stone steps, you knock on the door of the Sohma residence. After a couple seconds, you hear Shigure’s voice on the other side of the door as he slides it open.

“Ah, y/n-chan! Hello!” Shigure greets with a smile.

“Hi Shigure-san, is Sohma-kun here?” You ask, smiling back at him.

“Oh, Yuki-kun? He’s been gone for about an hour or so with Tohru-chan. I’m not sure when he’ll be back, but would you like to wait for him here?”

Oh. He’s out with Tohru. Even though you guys had plans. It’s likely that he forgot, but it’s not like you guys made these plans a while ago; it’s been a week!

Your smile falters a bit, but remains on your face as you answer Shigure with, “Oh, I see. Thank you for offering, but I think I’m just going to head home then! Have a good day, Shigure-san!”

You bow to him before turning around and stopping in your tracks. At the top of the steps stands Kyo, staring at you with confusion written all over his face. You walk up to him and smile before trying to walk past him.

“Wait, y/n, what happened? I thought you and the rat were studying today.” Kyo asks, causing you to halt.

You bite your lip, swallowing your emotions, before turning back to Kyo with a pained smile and answering with, “He’s out with Tohru-chan right now. It’s fine, he probably just forgot. I’m just, uh, gonna head home now. I’ll see you tomorrow, Kyo-kun!”

Kyo stands there in disbelief as he watches you walk down the steps. He’s pissed now; after he admitted the rat wasn’t a bad guy, he does something like this. To his close friend, of all people! Don’t you mean more to the rat than anyone else?

Kyo grits his teeth as he runs to the house to ask Shigure where Yuki and Tohru are. Shigure gives him the vague answer of a certain shopping district across the city, and Kyo sets out to find Yuki to set him straight. The image of your sadness seeping into your smile is burned in Kyo’s mind, making him even more upset.

Kyo makes it to the shopping district about a half hour later, running from shop to shop. He asks store clerks if they’ve seen anyone matching the descriptions of Yuki and Tohru, but each one says they haven’t. Hours pass before Kyo approaches the last store and sees the silver-haired male standing outside with Tohru by his side, looking like they’re having a grand time. Kyo runs up to the two and grabs Yuki by the collar of his shirt, causing Yuki to stare at him in surprise and annoyance.

“You stupid rat! How thoughtless are you?!” Kyo starts, tightening his grip on his shirt.

“Let go of me, stupid cat.” Yuki deadpans.

“Does y/n mean nothing to you?! How dare you treat her like trash!”

“What are you talking about?!”

“You ditched your study session with her today to go out with Tohru! Do you enjoy hurting her or something?! Cause you seem to be doing that a lot lately! Do you not care about her?! If you don’t, then why don’t you just say it to her face instead of making her sad every day!”

Yuki’s eyes widen as realization hits; he totally forgot about the plans he made with you today. The guilt he feels outweighs the anger swirling in his chest every time Kyo accuses him of not caring about you. He pushes Kyo off of him and hands Tohru the bags in his hands, all except for one.

“I’m sorry, Honda-san! I have to go!” Yuki apologizes quickly before sprinting out of the shopping district.

Yuki scolds himself for being oblivious to your feelings as he runs down seemingly endless streets. Yuki always cared for you; you were the one close friend he had before Tohru came into his life. Lately he’s noticed that thoughts of you are all that consume his mind at night, and the way he feels different around you than around anyone else. But, our poor Yuki has never felt this way before; he doesn’t know why he feels like this or what to do about it.

But when he heard that he forgot about his plans he made with you, and how that hurt you, he felt like the lowest of the low. How could he skip out on plans with you? How could he hurt you?

The sun begins to set as more tears adorn your notes. You weren’t really sure why you were so upset; it’s okay that Yuki is happy with Tohru. It’s not even a big deal that he forgot about your plans...so why did it hurt most to think he forgot about you? All these doubts begin swarming your head, causing more tears to fall, as you hear knocks on the front door.

You quickly wipe the falling tears as you walk to the door, trying to compose yourself for whichever visitor stood at your door. Your eyes widen as you open the door to see a heavily panting Yuki standing in front of you. You quickly plaster a smile on your face as you attempt to greet him.

“Sohma-kun? Are you alright? What are you doing here?”

“l/n-san, I’m so sorry! I completely forgot about our plans today and went shopping with Honda-san. I never meant to make you sad, I just-”

“Yuki-kun, can we...talk? Somewhere else? Let’s, uhm, go for a walk real quick.”

You grab a pair of slip-ons by the door and head outside, leading Yuki to a nearby kid’s playground. You both sit on the swings and silence envelopes you two as you gather your thoughts. Yuki stares at you as you stare at the ground, waiting for you to scold him or do anything to let him know you were fine.

“Yuki-kun...I still remember the third of December; me in your sweater, you said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew...how much I liked you. How much I still like you. I remember how every girl from your fan club asked you for your sweatshirt, and how I felt special when you turned them down. But, I’ve seen the way you look at Tohru-chan when she walks by. And I get it, Tohru-chan is very beautiful. What a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky. And I’ve been noticing lately how your gaze on her lingers, and how your face softens when you speak to her. You gave her your sweater to wear, too...not that it matters, I guess. Anyway, as my feelings for you continue to grow, I begin to see...and understand, how and why you like Tohru-chan so much. I mean, she’s an angel! She’s so kind, thoughtful, and caring...I understand why you’d want her. And why you wouldn’t want me. I mean, why would you ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater; it’s just polyester. But, you like her better. And I’m able to accept that, as long as you’re happy, Yuki-kun! I just...sometimes...I wish I were Tohru-chan.”

Yuki stares at you in disbelief as you continue staring at your feet, a single tear falling from your eye. He really is oblivious. His brain can’t even begin to compute the misunderstanding going on here. After all, he has feelings for you too. So, just how did it end up so bad, he wonders. He finds it so hard to believe you reciprocate his feelings, and that while trying to find a way to confess to you, he was hurting you instead.

“I-I love you, Yuki-ku-” 

Yuki’s body moves as if on instinct, kneeling in front of you with his hands caressing the sides of your face. He smashes his lips against yours, only realizing what he’s doing once he feels you kiss him back. He pulls away almost as quickly as he placed his lips on yours, a blush creeping onto his face. You stare at him with wide eyes as he collects his composure and wipes a stray tear from your eye.

“l/n-san, I...I love you, too. What you saw between Honda-san and I is a big misunderstanding, and I’m sorry not seeing how I was hurting you. I’ve been spending more time with Honda-san this past week because she was helping me figure out a way to confess to you. Shigure suggested making you jealous like the love interests in his romance novels, and I honestly don’t know why I listened to him; I knew it was a terrible idea. But, that’s why Honda-san was wearing my sweater yesterday. When I thought that didn’t work, Honda-san suggested getting you a gift, which is why we went shopping today. I was so caught up in trying to make you happy that I forgot we made plans today. And instead of making you happy, I made you cry. Love isn’t really a feeling I’m fond of; I’ve never really experienced feelings this intense before. It took me a while to realize you were the reason my heartbeat quickened; why my stomach did flips, why warmth would spread in my chest. But when I found myself wanting to be with you every waking hour, I panicked. Truth be told, you’re the person I hold closest to my heart. I don’t let people in...from experience. There’s so much darkness that doesn’t reach the surface, so many things I can’t say just yet. But I will tell you in time, because you’re the person I trust most, and I’m learning slowly how to let people in. In the meantime, the one thing I can say with certainty, is that I love you...and I want to make you happy, if you’ll let me.”

Yuki takes your hands in his and smiles warmly at you. Worried that words will fail you, you nod with a grin on your face. The night air sends chills down your spine as you gaze happily at the boy in front of you. Yuki takes notice of the goosebumps rising on your skin and smirks a little, pulling his hands away from yours to grab the bag on the ground next to him.

He hands it to you while saying, “I have a feeling this’ll come in handy right about now.”

You take the bag from his hands and open it, revealing a familiar sweater. You press it against your chest, smiling at Yuki. You look down at his sweater and realize he's wearing the same one; he got you a matching sweater.

“You just looked so cute when you wore mine...” He smiles shyly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I love it, Yuki-kun! Thank you!” You exclaim, throwing it on.

It was just polyester, but it now meant more to you than you thought it ever could.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers GRAND EDITION for Switch ;; More, Blood ー Yuma Dark [Prologue]

Monologue

ーー That burning feeling inside my throat,

is the sole thing which vividly remains in my memory.

Crackling flames flare up. 

People scatter about, tears streaming down their faces

as they call out someone’s name.

And I, ran straight towards

said fire.

It’s hot. So incredibly, unbearably hot.

Yet, I desperately dashed forward.

Swallowed by the flames and smoke, 

I could barely still see my own feet with my dried out eyes.

I could barely even breathe,

as the heat assaulted my throat.

Even so, I attempt to shout.

ーー Wanting to find someone.

ーー Wanting to save someone.

???: ( ...Who? )

( Who am I looking for amidst the flames? )

???: ーー ...ar!

???: ( I don’t know. I can’t remember. )

( Who was I searching for? Where was I? For whoーー? )

???: Bear!

ー A young Yuma wakes up and finds himself in town

Lucks: You’re awake?

Bear: ...Boss...

Lucks: Are you okay? You were groaning in your sleep again. (1)

Bear: Yeah...

*Rustle*

Bear: ...What’s with that face, huh? Whatcha grinnin’ for?

Lucks: It’s because you always look like you’re about to cry when you sleep. What’s wrong? Did you dream about your mommy again?

Bear: ...As if! Don’t treat me like a kid!

Lucks: Haha! My bad, my bad! Come on, eat this. It’s today’s grub.

ー He throws some food at him

Bear: ...Where did you pick up fresh bread?

Lucks: I didn’t pick it up, I secretly took it. Of course...Making sure nobody saw me?

You should hurry up and learn how to steal food (2) without getting chased after as well. I’m sure you’re fed up with getting beat up after being caught?

Bear: ...

Lucks: Well, it’s a common beginner’s mistake. Come on, just take a bite already. I’m sure you’re starving after tossing and turning around in your sleep?

Bear: ...Thanks for the food.

Lucks: Now I think about it, quite some time has passed since you hit me up, huh? You still can’t remember anything?

Bear: ...Nothing.

Lucks: I see. Well, if only it was that easy, huh? Have your burns healed yet?

Bear: They’ve gotten way better thanks to the medicine you gave me.

Lucks: I see. Isn’t it rough to be missing your memories?

Bear: ...Well...It is, but...

But, I don’t want to force myself to remember either. I feel...comfortable staying here with you after all.

Lucks: You get to eat without getting beaten up as well, huh?

Bear: ...That’s not what I meant!

Lucks: Haha, I’m joking. Well, if that’s what you want, you can stay here as long as you’d like. The gang likes you as well.

It’s just...Things may not stay this peaceful for long.

Bear: Did something happen?

Lucks: There’s been suspicious movements amongst one of the gangs at the neighboring city. The one lead by that nasty guy sporting a mohawk (3).

Bear: Aah, that idiot whose hair looks like a chicken’s?

Lucks: Yeah...He has already done a number on three of our gang members. If they won’t back down, we won’t be able to avoid a conflict forever.

Bear: Hmph! I’ll take them on at any time! They may think they’re strong together, but they’re no match for us!

Lucks: Haha. When it comes to your built and vigor, you really are formidable. You’re totally one of us now.

...Honestly, I know that continuing doing this won’t solve anything.

Bear: Boss?

Lucks: Say, Bear? Do you like this city?

Bear: ...What do you mean?

Lucks: Exactly as I said it. Take look at those worn down streets and houses. ...This city has started to rot.

All of the aristocrats and politicians keep on running their mouths about revolution or reforms and how it’s all in the best interest of the people but...This is the reality we have to face.

In the end, it’s only the rich people who get to benefit of it. (4) On the other hand, the number of children like us who end up on the streets is only rising. 

But no matter how ashy and grey the city gets, only the sky is still...

Look, it’s this blue...Underneath the blue sky who doesn’t belong to anyone, status or family does not matter.

I believe that all humans are equal and deserve to be free.

...However, I am also aware that such utopian dreams will never come true in this rotten city.

Bear: ...

Lucks: That’s why I’ve decided I will guide this country towards the right path.

To achieve this, I have to fight my way to the top. Of course, using a method other than violence.

Bear: ...Seems like you have a long way ahead of you.

Lucks: It’s frustrating but I’m still a child right now. I’m not stupid enough to think I can win against adults who have political power. I know that this will be a long fight.

But you know, I also want to know just how far a single orphan raised in the filthy slums can go.

Now that I’ve told you all of this, you’ll have to watch me till the very end, Bear. From your VIP seat right next to me.

Bear: Hah, I just hope you don’t drag me into the grave with you.

Lucks: Just give up if that happens. You were out of luck, getting picked up by me.

Bear: ...Guess so. I do feel like I owe you one. 

A huge debt, for giving me a place I can call my own...That is.

Fine then, I’ll stick with you. Until the day...This world changes.

ー The screen fades to black

Yuma: ( Exactly, that was our dream. )

( For us brats who had no money, let alone power, changing the country, or even the world, that was the real Utopia. )

( ...However, it’s strange. )

( Boss, I’m sure you can do it. That’s what I ended up thinking. )

Monologue

A city thorn apart by the destruction of war.

in the very corner of the slums laying in the very back of said city,

that is where I lived at that time.

About my life before that,

I could not remember a single thing.

At some point, I found myself laying on the ground,

of this filthy back-alley. Why was I here? 

Where did I come from?

I did not even know who I was. 

That’s the kind of situation I found myself in.

ーー Yo, what’s up?

A young boy called out for my puzzled self,

greeting with a tone,

as if we had been long-time pals.

That was Lucks.

ーー Got nowhere to go? 

Come with me then.

The moment he spoke those words without asking about what happened,

without a single hint of hesitation. 

I was at a loss for words, 

deeply moved by this boy.

I felt indebted, as well as respect for him,

even a little envy...

But the most accurate way to describe it, would probably be admiration.

And that is how,

I decided to live alongside this person,

who was the leader of a gang.

Based on my physical appearance,

I was given the nickname ‘Bear’.

ー The flashback ends as the scene shifts to the hallway

Yui: Haah...

( It may have been decided by drawing a card, but how could I have picked such a scary-looking person... )

( He punched me when I was brought here, and he goes around calling people ‘Sow’... )

( I wonder if I’ll be okay, having someone like that watch over me...? )

Yuma: Hold it, Sow! (5)

Yui: ...!

Yuma: Don’t just be wanderin’ ‘round like ya own this place! If ya wanna have a look ‘round, at least ask me for permission first!

Yui: ( Speak of the devil...! )

Yuma: Che. Ya really not tryin’ to hide that you’re displeased, huh? ...I’m not exactly thrilled to have to babysit ya either, ya know!?

But well, guess I have no other choice. 

Oi, I’ll only tell ya this once so listen up. These are the rules attached to becomin’ my personal toy.

Yui: Toy!?

Yuma: I’m not wrong, right? My own toy which I can use as I please, whenever I want to. That’s what ya are, right?

Yui: I-It’s my first time hearing about that...!

Yuma: Do I really need to go out of my way to tell ya? That’s what Sows (6) are for, right?

Yui: ( ‘Toy’ and ‘Sow’...That’s just too cruel... )

Yuma: What? Got a problem with it, huh?

Yui: R-Rather than a problem...

Yuma: Aahn!?

Yui: ...!

( Uu...Yuma-kun really is scary with that tall physique and loud voice of his...! )

Yuma: ...

*THUD*

Yui: !!

Yuma: Can’t hear ya very well!? This toy came with a mouth, didn’t it!? Speak up a lil’ more, aahn!?

Yui: ( He’s even more scary when he towers over me like that...! )

I-It’s...nothing...

Yuma: Che, you’re so annoyin’. If ya can’t say, don’t try and mutter a halfbaked response.

This is exactly why I hate chicks who just stand there pissin’ their pants the whole time.

You’re on the same level as a farm’s pig if ya can’t even voice yer own opinion out loud.

Listen up, Sow. Watchin’ those kind of people makes me gag.

Yui: ( He doesn’t have to put it so bluntly... )

( ...However, it’s true that I’m frightened and that I can’t talk back... )

Yuma: Haah...What a fuckin’ pain in the ass.

If it turns out ya don’t taste better than Sugar-chan, I really got the short end of the stick.

Yui: ( Sugar-chan...? Could he be talking about sugar cubes? Also, he’s eating them plain... )

( I wonder if he likes sweet stuff...? )

Yuma: Well, I’ve got no other choice now that I’m chosen. There...!

Yui: Ow...!?

( He strongly wrapped his hand around my throat...!? )

Yuma: Woah there, don’t make a fuss. I’m actually holdin’ back so I don’t snap it in two.

If ya struggle too much, I might end up puttin’ in some strength.

I might just break yer neck even if I didn’t mean to?

Yui: ( I don’t want that...! )

( But it hurts and it’s hard to breathe, so I can’t just keep still...! )

*Thud*

Yuma: Did I not just tell ya to keep still!? ...Che, ya really are a pain. Come on!

*Rustle*

Yui: ( ...He loosened up a little. It’s somewhat less painful like thiーー )

Yuma: Dont get the wrong idea.

You’re a damn infuriatin’ woman. But it seems like ya are the chosen Eve after all. I’ll handle ya with care for now.

Well, either way...Ya chose me. Even if it’s a drag, I can’t alter said truth.

Yui: ( I didn’t choose him myself though... )

Yuma: That being said, ya better try yer best to become a toy to my liking, capiche? 

Yui: Why...me...?

Yuma: Hah. Haven’t those Sakamaki’s already treated ya badly plenty of times anyway?

Yui: That’s...

Yuma: What? Tryin’ to play hard to get now? Don’t cause me any more trouble!

*THUD*

Yuma: Come on. If ya understand, do as I say. If so, I’ll treat ya decently. Hehe.

Yui: ( ...! )

Yuma: Looks like ya don’t like the ring of that? Heh. Perfect. 

Ya should have just been honest back then. Don’t be havin’ regrets now...!

ー Yuma bites her

Yui: !!

( Ow...! He suddenly...! )

Yuma: Nn...Nn?

Yui: ( Uu... )

Yuma: ...Haah...Heeh...Guess this is to be expected of Eve? Ya taste quite nice.

Nn...Hah...Amazin’...The blood’s so sweet...Just like sugar...No, even sweeter?

I wasn’t lookin’ forward to havin’ to watch over some chick’s sad ass but...Hehe, in this case, it might actually be kinda fun.

Yui: Please, stop...

Yuma: Hah, already havin’ regrets? Didn’t I tell ya...!?

Yui: Uu, ah...!

Yuma: ...Hah...

Yui: ( He keeps on thrusting them in and pulling back out...I’m becoming numb from the pain... )

Yuma: Hehe...I think it’s annoyin’ when a woman goes quiet after I yell at her, but I don’t dislike chicks who keep silent durin’ this kinda thing?

I wouldn’t mind if ya expressed yer desires, or let me hear some nice cries...tho!

ー He pushes Yui away

*Rustle*

Yui: Kyah...!

*Thud*

Yuma: I’ve had enough. I’m sleepy too so I’m done for today.

Well, guess now ya just have to try yer hardest to be in my good grace, huh?

Yui: ...

Yuma: Hehe...See ya, Sow.

ー Yuma leaves

Yui: ( ...No matter where I go, I always get treated like this. )

( Although I still can’t believe...I actually want to have my blood sucked myself. )

( If I could, I’d honestly love to go to a world without any Vampires... )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) The verb うなされる or ‘unasareru’ refers to both ‘having a nightmare/bad dream’ as well as the noises and movements accompanying it.

(2) He uses the term ‘to supply’ or ‘to raise’ here, but it is obvious from the context that they are stealing food. 

(3) They describe his hairstyle as トサカ頭 or ‘tosaka atama’ with ‘tosaka’ referring to a cockscomb.

(4) Literally he says they are the ones who ‘get to suckle the sweet nectar’. 

(5) そこの or ‘soko no’ is a set phrase shouted when you want to stop somenoe in their tracks. You will often hear it being used by the police and such when they spot someone suspicious. Usually it is combined with 君 or ‘kimi’, in which case you can translate it as ‘You over there!’. In this case, I had to alter it a little because he uses Yui’s nickname ‘Sow’. 

(6) The word メスブタ or ‘mesubuta’ technically means ‘Sow’. However, it is also a common slang word to call somewhere a ‘whore’ or ‘slut’.

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

<- [ Yuma prologue ] [ Dark 01 ] ->

[alice-dont-break]

hello this is shameless smut pls enjoy!! kinda fluffy and oops sorry idk how to write smut for them without giving ant a little bit of top energy

cw: post-pregnancy body insecurity at first and then just filth

Every Inch | Janthony Smut

When Anthony got home from work, he first found his 6-week old baby sound asleep in the bassinet in the living room. He smiled, but tiptoed upstairs immediately because despite wanting to stare at her cute little face, waking her would be disturbing the rare peace and quiet his wife was surely savoring. When he got upstairs and entered the bedroom, he found a pile of Jasmine’s clothes on the floor and a light on in the bathroom. Intrigued, he peeked his head past the door and laid eyes on the most stunning silhouette he’d ever seen.

Jasmine was standing in front of the mirror, fully undressed, looking over her shoulder at her reflection.

“Wow,” he breathed, getting her attention.

“Oh, hey sorry,” she said. She hugged herself and reached past him for the robe hanging off the door, but he gently caught her wrist. He stepped her away from the door, and took in the delicious sight in front of him.

“Damn, baby, why would you ever say sorry for giving me a look at this work of art. You admiring yourself... can I join?”

“You can stay but I’m not admiring,” she mumbled, rolling her eyes. She tried to twist away, but Anthony grasped her other hand.

“Hm?” He didn’t want to push her, but he couldn’t ignore the sadness in her eyes.

“I’m just... I don’t feel sexy anymore. Ever. This is so stupid but I literally made my mom watch bubba for an hour today so I could go to Victoria’s Secret and even with brand new sexy lingerie I felt disgusting. Do I even turn you on anymore? We haven’t done anything since...” Her voice was weak and shaky, and her lips were tightly pursed.

“Baby... baby girl you turn me on like crazy. God, look at you... you’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen,” he crooned. “I just didn’t wanna rush or hurt you, but I hate that you aren’t seeing what I see. Can I show you babe?”

Jasmine furrowed her brow, but reluctantly nodded. Anthony then led her by the hand back to the mirror, where he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. He nuzzled up to her shoulder as they both looked at her reflection. As Anthony looked her up and down, his eyes smouldered with lust.

“God, where do I even begin,” he groaned. “I mean, the easiest is your face. Your eyes just stun me, whether they’re soft and you’re laughin’ or looking at our baby, or piercing like your mad or tryna rile me up.”

Jasmine’s cheeks had flushed red and she tried to look away, only to be brought back to center by Anthony’s thumb on her chin.

“Your skin,” he continued while caressing her cheek with the back of his hand, “just flawless.”

She leaned into his touch and let a weak smile escape.

“Mmm and your lips, baby,” he smiled. He cupped her chin with his fingers and brushed over her supple lips with his thumb. He was dying to kiss her, but knew once he started he’d never stop, and there was too much more he wanted to say.

“Your hair, your curls... gorgeous through every state of being.” He smiled into the side of her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo, then nipped at her ear and trailed kisses down her jaw and neck.

“And your neck,” he whispered, sending chills down her spine, “because it lets me get the sexiest moans from you.” Proving his point, he sunk his teeth into the tender flesh, hard enough to melt her without really hurting, and she threw her head back against his shoulder as a soft gasp escaped her parted lips.

He chuckled into her collarbone, and continued exploring her skin with his mouth and hands, covering every inch of her upper back, shoulders, and chest with attention. Jasmine was fully flushed with a little bit of self consciousness, but also awareness of the heat growing between her legs. His hand wandered back down from her shoulders to her waist to pull her back flush against his chest, before roaming back up to cup her breasts.

“God, and these... Jas you know I’ve always been an ass guy, and trust me we’ll get to that, but I’ve never seen anything sexier than these tits ever since you were pregnant. They’re so big... huge... and I love how just a little attention like this,” he mumbled as he circled his fingers around her nipples with a slight pinch, “gets such a reaction... god Jasmine I could spend all day just working your tits.”

As he talked, he was kneading the tender flesh with the palms of his hands and kissing her shoulders, and Jasmine could have sworn she was going to start dripping down her inner thigh. Her buds were pebbled and she writhed under his touch as he brushed over them.

“And baby, I know you’ve been self conscious about this area,” he said more softly, letting his hands slide down her waist and hips to land just where her baby bump had been only a month ago. He peppered kisses to the seam of her neck and shoulder as he rubbed his thumbs over her hip bones. “These curves are a work of art. Your shape is stunning, Jas, it’s so sexy whether you’re a million months pregnant, one week post-baby, or whatever else. I like having something to grab, too, but don’t think I haven’t noticed your abs comin’ back.” he winked with another soft bite to her earlobe and a squeeze around her hips.

Jasmine was leaning against him now with her head thrown back on his shoulder, as his mouth, his raspy voice, his touch all left her trembling. He took his chance to turn her sideways to face him and reached down to grab her ass with both hands.

“God, this ass, baby... ugh it’s just so fucking sexy. The way it’s so perfectly tight and round, especially when you wear them jeans I like, but then bounces when I’m fuckin’ up into you... or when I’m taking you from behind with my fiery handprints all over...”

Anthony was testing his own patience now, and cut himself off with another bite to her shoulder. He gestured for her to jump up and hoisted her so her legs were wrapped around his waist and his hands were gripping her thighs.

“Your legs baby, they’re so strong and toned, and even though you’re short enough to tuck right into my side, they look long and sexy and I just want to mark em all up your inner thighs... show anyone who dares to look at you in a tight lil skirt that you’re mine.”

While he spoke, he carried her slowly out of the bathroom and over to the bed. The whole way, she could feel his hardened bulge pressing against her, and was sure there would be a wet patch where her core met his waist.

When he reached the bed, he dropped her down and hovered overtop so he could whisper in her ear. “Now can I show you the next part of you I think is sexy?” He rasped. Jasmine was breathless, and could only nod eagerly. After a chaste peck to her lips, Anthony sank down to rest between her thighs, which he spread open with his hands splayed across her caramel skin.

“Mmm, this pussy,” he growled against the meeting of her leg and her mound, letting the vibration of his words send shockwaves through her already electrified body. “Always so wet and needy for me. God look at you baby, you’re fucking soaked already, hm? All for me?”

Jasmine nodded and moaned a “yes”, as Anthony chuckled.

Slowly, he prodded his tongue to part her folds, and licked a slow stripe all the way up. The sound she made was slow, husky and pained. She was already aching for more. “Your taste, babe, your juices are the sweetest damn taste in the world.”

He continued to take his time, drawing long strokes and tasting every inch of her core, until his tongue started circling her entrance. As soon as it poked inside, her hips bucked, begging for more, though a whimper was all she could muster. He used one finger to gather her juices, then slowly pressed inside.

“So fucking tight, soft walls squeeze me so tight, even when you’re nearly screamin’ and you’re asking if it’s too much, you take me so, so good baby.”

“Another,” she moaned loudly, “please.” Anthony smirked and happily obeyed, adding a second finger to her wetness.

He thrust slowly in and out, before pausing to scissor his digits and feel the stretch of her velvet insides. Her breath hitched with every movement and he wondered how much longer she could last.

“Baby hold it together, I haven’t even gotten to the best part. The sexiest part of this perfect pussy is this adorable little bud,” he grinned, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to her clit.

“Ant,” she breathed desperately.

“So sweet, so sexy the sounds I can get out of you with just the slightest touch,” he said. Anthony pointed his tongue and started flicking the sensitive area, as his fingers continued to probe deep inside. “Seriously the cutest little thing I’ve ever played with.”

“Anthony,” she moaned again, her voice growing more ragged and hungry with his every move.

“Mhmm baby... and the sexiest thing of all, my love, is how you look when you come undone.”

He heard the faintest gasp escape her lips, so with a final smirk he wrapped his lips around her swollen bud and suckled lightly as he curled his fingers deep inside her. With his free hand, he reached up and rolled her hard nipple between his fingers, as her moans became more like screams. Within seconds he felt her soft walls tighten around his fingers, and her thighs lift up off the bed.

“Ant I’m gonna... I’m gonna...”

“I’ve got you,” he purred, “come for me, princess. I’ve got you.”

Jasmine fell apart. Every sliver of tension that had been building for the past two months came undone as a wave of fire ravaged her senses. Her back arched and her head flopped back with a loud and luscious sigh, as her pussy fluttered around Anthony’s fingers. He continued gentle kitten licks to her most sensitive area as his fingers lazily moved to ride her through her high. Suddenly, Jasmine felt a massive release and Anthony felt a flood wash over his fingers and chin. He was entranced by the effect he had on her body, continuing to press with his fingers, and let his tongue roam downward to taste her juices, until Jasmine was fully limp beneath him.

When he was certain there were no more aftershocks to rock her, he pressed a final kiss to her warmth and climbed back up to hover over her face. With both hands cupping her cheeks, he leaned down to kiss her forehead tenderly.

“Did I...” she asked timidly between heavy pants. Her cheeks were flushed red, and Anthony added to their warmth with soft, wet kisses.

“Squirt? Yep,” he smirked, obviously proud of the new level of pleasure he’d unlocked for her. “That was new... and maybe the sexiest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”

“Ant that... that was... oh my god.... i need to...” As she struggled to form sentences, she seemed to be making a move to repay the favor, but Anthony just put a firm hand on her shoulder.

“You aren’t going anywhere, babe,” he teased. “You look so utterly fucked out that I’m genuinely worried you may have trouble walking all week despite not actually having had a cock inside you.”

Jasmine’s eyes were still slightly rolling to the back of her head, so Anthony just chuckled at her grumbles and gave her a chaste kiss. “Stay here, love, gonna get you a cloth. You’re literally soaked in your own cum.”

“Later... show you lingerie... s’new,” she murmured.

“Whenever you’re ready love, but not before a nap. Besides, as excited as I am to see it, I don’t know how you could possibly get any sexier.”

Instead of protesting as she did earlier, she looked up at Anthony with a faint, adorable little smile that warmed his heart.

When he got back from the bathroom only twenty seconds later, Jasmine’s eyes were closed with her mouth hanging open just slightly. He couldn’t help but chuckle at how absolutely worn out she was, so he just let her sleep. As the mother of a six-week old baby, she needed it with or without a mind-blowing orgasm. After using the warm cloth to wipe down her thighs and through her folds, he grabbed a blanket to drape over them as he laid on his side and pulled her close. With a quick glance at the baby monitor to ensure the little one was continuing to cooperate with his unplanned mission, he leaned his forehead against her temple and peppered little kisses to her cheeks as her heavy breath lulled him into a trance. He rubbed the soft skin at her waist as he kept pulling her tighter into his side, and focused on giving her all his warmth, comfort and attention, with the hope that she’d be at least slightly coherent again when she woke up.

[everyothermouse]

A lil group portrait of the time au adventuring gang!! Them <333

Basically tol fucked up as a kid and is now on the run from the law, but realized that since his life was so crazy he could live off of telling stories of his wacky adventures. When he met Jay he wanted him to come with him, and when he found out jay couldn't come cus he was virtually a demon/god/magic magnet he decided he NEEDED to bring him to capitalize on how it'd make more cool stories. And yeah it worked so since then he's been collecting wackos to aaa go crazy aaaa go stupid (and also bcus safety I numbers or whateva, pop and pip are also criminals and pastel and jay are crimes against god <3) more about each individual under the cut!

Doin them from left to right :)

Pastel: died when she was messing around with some friends and got stuck under a big rock and left to starve. But because of a fluke in the underworld her God decided to resurrect her, a right usually only belonging to saints. Because of this she's now poorly pretending that she totally did something to deserve being revived (she tells a different story every time someone asks, she thinks it's funny) to avoid being persecuted for suspected witchcraft. She met Jay when they were both drunk and they had fun fucking around in the city, and she spilled the beans to him that she was revived for no reason. She regretted it, but jay didn't kill her because even though he's religious he knew what it felt like to be magically cursed and have everyone be pissed at u for it. Also she's really funny with jay so tol begged her to come with them to add more Comedy(tm) to his memoirs

Pop: a time traveller and angel who is trying to hide both of those facts but only really succeeding at hiding the time travel thing. When they were a kid they traveled to this time with his friends Lustre and Cherrybomb, but when they were attacked by the vicious royal guard they weren't able to escape without leaving Lustre behind. Cherrybomb super repressed that memory, and while pop recovered from some minor injuries they vowed to never time travel again. Yeah they only kept that up until they were like 15, but they still couldn't bring themself to go back to when they left Lustre. But now they're 26 (well technically they're like 33 but in their time their supposed to be 26) living with their boyfriend cherrybomb and have years of time travel experience under their belt, and they're ready to go back. Except they can't go back because they created a travel block for themself by accident because of how upsetting the event was, so instead they traveled as close as they could, about 10 years in the future of the time. Now they search for any form of closure, all they need to know is what happened to their friend, and they will do whatever it takes to find this out. But angels aren't super welcome in the past, especially not with uncut wings, so it's not exactly easy for them to navigate this time period. But after a while of their search they met two lovely children (well young adults), a demon and a "cursed" (nowadays they call em spiritually gifted) and felt so bad for how much the world seemed to be against them they decided they could travel with them, just for a bit, to protect them. They tried not to get attached. They failed. They're in it for the long run now aren't they TwT also as they explore this time and learn more about the gods, they start to realize that they might... be the God of longevity???? Or at least an older version of them became them? Time travel is fucked man

Btw Lustre plays a big role in this plot, her hyper futuristic knowledge, 'blessed' white eyes, and strange God gifted clothing would all lead to him rising to a much different role than fugitive rather quickly, but they're not who this post is about ;) also I'm gonna go bottom to top for the 3 in the middle let's go

Lune: just a little guy :) lune is a young rancher/gardener who worships the God of the wood, who kind of goes missing sometimes and is lowkey the least loyal God but shhhh he loves them. Lune and tol were childhood friends (along with their pal cleo) but on one of their little excursions tol took something very important to a very powerful king, and refused to give it back. As retribution the king destroyed their entire town, and cleo put all the blame on tol, tol and lune both knew lune had to take the side against tol in order to not have the town turn on him. So yeah he moved with the town to bring up a brand new farm, long awaiting the day when tol would come home and say that things were OK and they could settle back in town together, hopefully with cleo too. That didn't happen, but tol did come back and peer pressure lune into part time adventuring with him! So yeah generally lune just runs his lil farm and prays, but when tol comes to pick him up he gets a chance to go be free to act batshit crazy, just like when he was a kid 🥰

Pipes: DEmon! One time lune and tol had a little squabble so lune was like 'im gonna get a new best friend and ur gonna regret this' and tol was like 'yeah right, u live with a bunch of criminals right now no one's gonna wanna be ur bestie dumbass' so lune just walked into a cave at night and dragged out this little nonverbal demon because demons who live alone in caves don't have high standards for friends. Even tho it was just a ploy to make tol jealous lune went super hard on it and now pipes is actually friends with the gang lmaoo

Tol: like I said with lunes, stole something important from a king as a kid, monarch got pissed, blew up the town, town got pissed at tol for it, and since then he's been on the run because he's too stubborn to give back the damn thing (they could have just attacked HIM for it, but since la queen decided to fuck with his town, his family, tol thinks he doesn't deserve to have it back.) He had to run from town to town and got into a lot of danger in his attempts at finding places to hide, but he lacks fear and tended to fight stuff off. As a kid he found that he could get enough pity to be welcomed into towns if he told people he had to fight a monster to get there, so he told stories at every town and camp he went to of his hardships. But as he got older, those he stayed with beckoned him to keep talking, and more and more people said they had heard of his adventures. And that's when when it clicked, his shining ticket to true freedom wasn't a place, it was his stories. They gave him food, shelter, fun, memories, a life. So he made it his mission to never settle down, to make his life as crazy as possible and to talk about it as much as possible, and if he ever ran out of energy to adventure, he'd spend the rest of his dying days writing and writing his entire life story. He thought this was a life he'd live alone, but one day he sought refuge in jays little lonely house because he thought it was abonded, luckily though Jay had just been praying for a second chance at life and decided that considering the timing, tol must be that second chance. So yeah jay patched him up, found out on his monthly supply route he was harboring someone very wanted, and took care of tol even harder because he didn't know or care why he was wanted, he just knew that anyone who had a drawing of them as a child on a wanted poster definitely didn't deserve it. So yeah they're besties now.

AAA I wrote out a really long description for jay but tumblr glitched and I lost it :'O ble here's a shorter rewrite cus I'm not writing out that whole thing again >:P

Jay: brought up in a church village,, he was born with the curse, which allows him to tap into magical properties very easily, and be very easily controlled, manipulated, and possessed by them. This allowed him to be very connected with his god (the god of longevity) but also meant he was often treated as a security risk and a monster by the adults of his town since he could let in evil spirits so easily. He spent most of his time praying and he became obsessed with acting on compulsions (repeated prayer, overscrubbing, scratching himself, touching religious things until he felt like he touched them "right") because he believed they were messages from God and would prevent him from becoming evil (look he was a teenager and everyone told him he was a monster his whole life leave him be.) He gets possessed twice, mage as a rep of the town is like "either have ur cursed removed or leave town forever" (uncursing is only hypothetically possible, it's hella dangerous) and he's scared itd sever his connection to his god so he leaves and he's upset bcus his entire life plan was built around his church, so now he's livin alone on a hill and leaving like once a month, he stays up there and sews and prays mostly, he sort of works on himself and becomes vaguely mentally stable, so he prays for a second chance at life since he lost his original path and needs a sign where to go, and then boom tol shows up and the rest is history. Now he has his own little family and things are going great :) other than the still getting possessed like once a week but shhhh

Pip: in between the entrance to hell and the religious central of the continent is a little town that sides with neither. They mostly fuck around and find out, and in this town lives a monster researcher and her less formal wife, pip! Pip is just a silly goofy little guy livin life, and when the crazy bunch shows up she feels like he's finally found her people :3 and for the first time the group gains a member who's begging to join them as opposed to the other way around

Ya and together they all go on wacky lil adventures with demons and monsters and monarchs and what not.

Tldr pastel is a funny lil dead guy, pop is a time traveller and the Adult of the team, lunes a lil farmer man, pipes a hobo demon they picked up off the side of the road, tols a little criminal demon adventurer, jays a religious weirdo who tol dragged out of his hermit hut, and pips an insane little guy

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

My mind was plagued with thoughts of the episode where the kids think Perry laid an egg and the comic where Perry saves a baby platypus from Doof, and that got me thinking: what if Perry was actually a dad to a baby platypus? One possibility is that Perry wouldn't want his child to become an agent at such a young age and would rather have his kid decide if they want to do it when they're older, but I believe that either way, the young platypus would inherit Perry's anthropomorphism.

oh my god I’ve never even thought about Dad!Perry before 🥺 I thought his relationship with the Flynn-Fletcher kids was wholesome but that has some real potential to become the superior relationship

obligatory “read more” to save everyone who doesn’t care how I feel about Dad!Perry

Okay first I gotta ask how we think this would happen. Is it the egg from Perry Lays An Egg that hatches, except it really is a baby platypus and Perry ends up taking it in because no one else can? Or is it Perry taking one of Doof’s platybabies home? Or is it trans!Perry laying his own egg? Or Perry has sex with another platypus (that’s such a weird thought lmao) and somehow he becomes the sole guardian of the egg? As the numero uno “Perry is an asexual demibiromantic platypus” stan, I kinda like the first or second one, but I also feel like the platybaby should be related to him? But at the same time Phineas and Ferb is all about how family don’t end in blood so maybe that’s not important?

Anyways onto Dad!Perry because holy shit I’m excited to explore this

I’m gonna start at the end of the ask by saying that I feel like anthropomorphism isn’t genetically inherited; I feel like it’s something that’s taught. It’s kinda a nature vs nurture type thing so I guess it’s more a psychological debate than anything, but if I had to channel my inner English teacher and draw evidence from “the text” (aka the show), I gotta bring up the koi from Attack of the 50 Foot Sister that were just kinda vibin in the neighbors’ pond at the beginning of the episode and then Monogram had to make them agents to avoid a lawsuit and by the end they were saving Perry’s ass? Which is relevant to literally nothing except that I think any baby animal Perry raises, regardless of whether or not they’re related to him by blood (or even by species), will probably turn the lil baby into an anthropomorphic lil platybaby just because of all the human and human-like influences

And now the elephant in the room (cue OWCA Files Agent E joke): how does OWCA react to the news? Which I guess is really a follow-up question to how OWCA finds out in the first place. I think we can all agree that Perry won’t want to tell them. It’s not like he sees the other agents as friends that he wants to invite to the baby shower. But Monogram would want to know if there’s a new player in the Flynn-Fletcher house not that he knows who lives there now; that’s Carl’s area of expertise. Would he have to tell them? Is there a protocol for that? Especially if it’s just an egg he picks up from The Tree™ in the backyard. That’s basically just getting a new pet, right? And sure, Monogram would want to know, but is Perry legally obligated to tell him is the question.

But Monogram has to find out one way or another, and given that Perry is the best of the best, Monogram is going to want his kid in the club. Perry would 100% say no, too, but I don’t know if it would be because he wants his son (yes it’s a boy platybaby no I don’t know why) to have his own say in his future; I think Perry would consider OWCA too dangerous for his son. I mean, we saw what happened when Phineas, Ferb, and Candace got mixed up in his job: they were almost eaten by a goozim and the tri-state area was almost taken over by an evil dictator. He would definitely want to keep his son out of that scene if he could. At least all the dangers at home are Phineas-and-Ferb-sponsored, and unlike OWCA, they would make sure he didn’t get hurt.

Buuuut Monogram is also a dumbass and doesn’t know how to take no for an answer, so he’d keep pushing. It has to be a well-known fact around OWCA that changing Agent P’s mind about anything is not an easy feat, so maybe when Monogram realized it was a lost cause, he’d try to go around Perry’s back? Maybe while Perry was at work, he’d head to the Flynn-Fletchers’ house (or send Carl again like Undercover Carl) to try to get the platybaby alone? He could explain what OWCA is and that he would make a perfect candidate. I doubt Perry would have told his son about OWCA in any detail yet other than the fact that he works there and that’s where he goes every day, so this would all be new and interesting. And then Perry either comes home when Monogram or Carl is talking to his son about OWCA or his son brings it up himself, and Perry is fuming because he made it very clear that he didn’t want OWCA anywhere near his family. 

And now I can’t help but wonder if that would cause bigger problems between him and OWCA? What if that’s his breaking point, and he just flat-out quits because if they can’t respect his very few boundaries, he doesn’t owe them anything? And assuming the platybaby didn’t come from Doof, maybe that’s how they meet? Somehow he finds out that the reason there’s a new agent working his case is that Perry’s out on “permanent paternity leave” or something, and word gets back to Perry somehow (maybe Pinky heard it through the grapevine and told him? idk) that Doof wants to meet him? And Perry’s kinda wary buuuuut at the same time, Doof isn’t his nemesis anymore. If you take OWCA out of the equation, aren’t they just friends? 

WAIT A SECOND

IMAGINE HOW NORM WOULD REACT TO SEEING A BABY PLATYPUS

LIKE

I DON’T KNOW WHY

BUT NORM WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS BABY PLATYPUS

and Doof would get kinda annoyed because “He came here so I could meet the baby, you know,” and usually that’s enough to convince Norm that he’s doing something wrong, but this time Norm is just like, “But I love him?” And Doof expects Perry to back him up and he probably should but at the same time, his son looks so happy with Norm? Without OWCA’s training, he still has that platypus aspect to his personality that comes from both his animal instinct and how the Flynn-Fletchers treat him, so he’s just kinda snuggled up in Norm’s lap and Norm is just petting him?

And this is probably after he’s shown some human-like features and Doof knows that he’s about as human as Perry, so he asks, “Does he like being pet?” and Perry nods because duh of course he does and Doof just kinda looks at him for a moment and he’s like, “Do you like to be pet?” and Perry just fuckin decks him because no he does not yes he does and Doof just nods like, “Okay, fair enough.”

AND THEN VANESSA WALKS IN???

and she had absolutely no idea this was happening she’s about to go drop her stuff off in her room for the weekend and Norm’s like, “Look at my new friend!” and Vanessa thinks it’s gonna be something stupid but she walks over and sees the baby platypus and she starts freaking out because holy shit Perry is that yours? and obviously she needs to know literally everything there is to know about him because this is her nephew now and she will not take no for an answer.

And I feel like OWCA really wouldn’t like this? I mean, Perry completely severed ties with them over this platybaby, and now he’s bringing his son over to DEI at least twice a week to see his former nemesis? And idk what they would do about it because I don’t think there’s an actual protocol for this, but Monogram is Very Sensitive™ and he won’t stand for this.

Also and I’m totally just spit-balling here but what if, because the platybaby is kinda also being raised by the Doofenshmirtzes (and the Flynn-Fletchers but idk if that would make much of a difference here bc he has to pretend to be a mindless pet around them like his dad), he gets the best of the human and animal experience all in one, without all the shit Perry had to deal with from OWCA? And what if that somehow leads him to be able to speak? I don’t quite know how that would work, mostly because I don’t really know what prevents Perry from speaking, but we already went into that back in May so I’m not gonna go there again lol

okay I’m pretty sure it’s been over two hours since I started working on this ask but I can’t help it because this is literally such a cute idea fjdshflakfa I don’t even know if I’d be content reading this like I feel like this is just something I want to write. I kinda want to see how Phineas and Ferb would treat him, and if they’d treat Perry any differently now that a) he’s a dad and b) there’s a new platypus for them to love. I also want to see how Candace would handle probably falling in love with the platybaby but still getting annoyed by Perry. I really want to see what Vanessa and Norm’s relationship with the platybaby would turn into. Idk so much about the Doof/platybaby relationship though; I feel like I’d be more interested in how this affects the Doof/Perry dynamic instead. Something about Doof makes me think he wouldn’t be as easily swayed by the platybaby as everyone else, but the fact that Perry would now be a dad just like him would probably make him unreasonably happy. And that’s not even touching upon how different life would be for Perry now that he has a son, and he would obviously adore the little guy with his entire being, but, like, he has a son? How is he supposed to deal with that?

also I really should’ve given the platybaby a name to make this more readable and it’s a little too late for that but I hereby decree that his new temporary name until such time as this fic gets written is Horatio (unless y’all wanna hit me up with your platybaby name ideas because I would love to see them?) so welcome to the Dwampyverse, Horatio :,)

[hanamakkiss]

Pros and Cons

Matsukawa Issei x reader

summary: Being childhood friends with Oikawa and Iwaizumi had few perks, it's all worth it when one of those perks came in the form of one(1) Matsukawa Issei.

Where Matsukawa gets a nickname.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

a/n: yall rmb y/n talking about a hot vb boy? yea also makki is a lil shit but everyone loves him  UPDATE: reuploaded sorry😓😓😓

You had made it a point to visit trainings whenever you were free now.

Always popping up whenever the coaches left, Matsukawa’s eyes were instinctively drawn to you when you entered, not that it was hard, considering how much ruckus you made.

After greeting everyone generally, you spent some time chatting with OIkawa when you head whips around to-

Kyoutani?

Oh right, this would be the first time you met him after anticipating it for so long. Matsukawa gestures to Makki about your actions and the two of them pause to watch the show.

Prancing over to the cropped blonde, excitement coming off in waves, "Kyouken! I've heard so much about you! I-"

"Stay away from me." he practically growled.

You froze in your tracks.

"Huh?" your head tilts, taking a step towards him.

"Why?"

Another step.

The growling intensifies, "Or else."

"Or else what? What are you going to do to me?"

Another step.

You're standing directly in front of him now, eye to eye. The sound of balls impacting a gym floor has ceased. Matsukawa tenses, holding his breath.

A second passes, then five.

Kyoutani turns and sprints out of the gymnasium.

Jolted by the sound of feet slamming against the floor, you turn around, head resting on your palm, "Oh dear, I don't think he likes me very much. What a pity," you basically spat the last word out. The contrast between your words and your sinister smile sends shivers down his spine.

Wow. He lets out a low whistle, that sure was something. For a second there, you had the same menacing aura Oikawa sometimes sported. He doesn't know if the stuttering of his heart was fear or attraction.

Somewhere nearby he hears Oikawa's laughter get cut off by a yelp and a stern warning. ("I told you to stop influencing her! Now look at how weird she is!")

Makki comments what he thought, “What, the fuck?”

“Amazing, isn’t she? I thought her that mysELF-“ Oikawa is cut off by a blow to the stomach.

“Shut up, stop looking so proud of yourself, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi scowls.

By this time you had made your way back to them, all smiles. “Sure hope I get to talk to him again someday,”

Makki snorts his water out.

The morning for the study session arrives.

As Matsukawa strolls to your house, he briefly wonders how the day might go. He figures it might become a little awkward if it was just the two of you, so he's thankful that Makki would be present.

Your house comes into view when the devil himself texts him.

He doesn't have to wait long before he got his answer. Just as he presses the doorbell, his phone chimes again.

Ah fuck. He doesn't even have time to curse him before the door is swinging open.

"Hi," you greet him, "welcome, to my humble abode," you usher him in with a flourish.

Ah shit, he takes off his shoes, here we fucking go.

Making his way to your bedroom he takes note of the frankly absurd number of houseplants that filled the place. Every free window, corner and crevice was stuffed with greenery. He vaguely remembers a flourishing garden in the front yard too.

Entering your room was no different, every available space on your desk and windowsill had small succulents and tiny flowering plants. He takes a moment to study while you set up the floor table.

“Doesn’t... having a lot of plants diminish your oxygen level at night...?” Your head whips around, scowl already in place.

“That’s just a myth. Plants don’t produce enough carbon dioxide at night to suffocate, otherwise how would forest animals survive?” The agitation with which you reply clues him in that you got this question too often.

“Also, if that works I would have already died,” you add on as an afterthought.

His eyebrows shoot upwards as he blinks slowly, “Um, alright, good to know?”

You grin in response, patting the floor next to you, “Sorry about the mess, I don’t have many friends who visit,”

“Judging by how much time you spend with us, I was starting to think you didn’t have any others,” he teases, eager to clear the awkward air.

“Eh, that’s true,” you shrug, “you guys are kind of my only friends in Seijoh,”

Oh shit, did he just overstep? He cringes inwardly when you interrupt.

“Why else would I spend so much time with a bunch of idiots?” the playfulness of your tone allows him to relax.

“Considering how well you mesh with us, doesn’t that make you an idiot too?”

Your smile drops, making a noise of indignation as your own joke is played against you. He just laughs as he avoids your smack, opening his textbook.

The previous conversation still weighing on his mind, he contemplates asking you about it.

“What is it.” You don’t even look up.

“What?”

“I can feel you staring at me, and your finger tapping is really loud,” looking up, you scrunch your face at him. “If you wanna say something, just say it.”

“Mmmhm alright then, if you don’t mind, are you on bad terms with your classmates?”

You stare back blankly, “Not...as far as I know?”

“Do you not hang out with any of them?” Are you not friends with them? You sense the unasked question.

“Well...” you trail off for a few moments, contemplative, before looking him in the eyes, grimacing.

“It’s... kind of due to Kawa?” at his confusion you rush to explain, “Not that he did anything! It’s more of... us being so close? Even platonically,” you scratch the back of your neck.

“They’re nice until they find out I’m close friends with Kawa and Iwawa. Then they either outright hate me, or get close to me in hopes of a better chance with him. Not all of them are like that though! But, at a certain point it’s easier to avoid that problem entirely rather than sifting through. Some girls look really nice, I just don’t know how to talk to them, I transferred in so late, after all.” you laugh sheepishly.

He hopes he isn’t letting his indignation show on his face.

“Does he know?”

“God no, that’s kind of a bastard thing to do, isn’t it? Hey, did you know I can’t have any girl friends cause they’re all crazy over you? That’s kind of fucked up yea? He can’t even do anything about it.” You wave a hand in the air, dismissing the idea.

“What about Iwaizumi,” he tries.

An incredulous look, “You think he would understand that? He barely even looks at girls! Actually, now that you mention it, a sizeable portion of the girls who befriended me had a crush on him. Guess it’s because he’s intimidating,” you nod along to your own words.

“So you’ve just been alone this time?” He can’t wrap his head around it.

“I haven’t been alone! I’ve got you guys, don’t I? I wouldn’t change that for anything,”

The look of happiness you pin him with causes his heart to flutter, but he’s not entirely convinced.

Sensing his unease you soften, “Besides, there’s only a few more months left, I can handle it,”

He exhales his frustration, letting the topic go. Nothing much he could help with anyway. The only thing he could do now was stay by your side, if you need him.

“Thank you for your concern,” You pat his hand comfortingly, the sides of your lips tug upwards, and you speak the next words gravely. “But,” breath bated, he waits for you to continue.

“sometimes, it really do be like that.”

He attempts to flip the table, causing you to scramble for cover, choking on your laughter as you do.

The two of you fall into a steady rhythm, asking each other questions here and there.

A few hours pass when both phones chime, breaking your concentrations, “Oh! Makkun’s at the convenience store now, whaddya want?”

He tells you his order and while you type it in, he observes your figure.

You’ve got a thing for nicknames, he’s always wondered about it.

“Hmm? What? Oh, yea, I guess I do, what about it?” Looking up, your gaze is pointed.

“Huh?” Shit, did he say that out loud?

“You said I got a thing for nicknames? What about it?” You leaned towards him, a teasing grin forming.

He feels himself begin to instinctively draw back before forcing himself to still. “Just like Oikawa, was what I meant.”

At this, your grin deepens, “Well, duh. Who do you think he got it from?”

Interesting. He nods in understanding.

“Well,” he drags the word out, mirroring your grin, “you don’t have a unique nickname for me, are we not close enough?”

Your smile turns into an O as you process his words. He’s right, you never really thought about it.

“Huh. I guess not. Do you want one?”

Stupid of him to admit, but he didn’t expect you to ask him that, and he takes a moment to decide. Did he want a special nickname from you? Is that asking too much? Moving too fast? Just as he’s about to reply, you make the choice for him.

“You know what? I’m gonna give you one anyway. Just give me some time to think.”

He just shrugs, accepting, and goes back to doing his work.

Some time passes and he sneaks a glance at you. A cute furrow nestled between your brows, you doodled in your notebook.

“I’ve got it!” You slam your hands on the table, shifting to place more weight on your knees, leaning far across the table now.

His pencil slips out of his hands from the sudden eye contact.

“How about,” you pause for effect, so close now he could count the light freckles on your cheeks, “Issei?”

The sound of his name coming out of your lips causes his brain to short-circuit. He never knew it could sound so sweet.

“Well?” You probe, “It’s kind of a cop out but I like how it sounds,” you sound it out a few more times with different intonations.

He thinks he might die.

“Hey, you okay? If you don’t like it you can let me know, yanno?”

“It’s fine,” he chokes out, “go ahead.”

“Great! Then-“

The doorbell rings.

“Oh! He’s here! Be right back!” You don’t wait for a reply before leaving.

Matsukawa has never been more thankful for Makki’s impeccable timing. Lucifer used to be an angel, he supposes.

He passes a hand over his face, willing his cheeks to cool down.

He composes himself just in time for Makki and you to enter.

Makki lets out a hum of appreciation, “Mad oxygen in here,”

He turns to you, “Say, isn’t it bad for you at night?”

“Oh my god, do the two of you share one braincell?”

[harryxmac]

Horny and Hungover

MASTERLIST

warnings: SMUT

in which, harry and you wake up new years day, horny and hungover

__________________________________________________________

Your eyes fluttered opened, you had to blink a couple of times to get rid of the blur that coated your eyes. The van above Harry’s bed spun too quick for your head to comprehend. It ticked ever so few seconds, which bugged the life out of you.

As you watched the fan, you suddenly became way more aware of your current state. Your sweaty body, the pounding headache, fuzzy tongue and the ache without even moving. 

As you watched the fan tick along, you felt your head become heavier. You moaned in frustration.

“Darling? I think I’m dying” The man beside you speaks. You tilt your head to catch a glimpse of the body.

You knew who it was, surprised you had both made it up to bed together rather than being scattered across the house made you giggle a little. Harry’s tanned, tattooed torso sat idle in the sheets, the sheets barley leaving him decent. 

“You aren’t dying”

Memories of the night before, flooded your mind. Singing with Harry’s and yours friends, counting down the seconds until you entered a new decade and the drink, oh the drink that entered your body. 

You remember on top of his breakfast bar, standing and screaming at his friends and family as his shakes a bottle of Dom just seconds before midnight. 

You were elated to say the least last night, but remember Anne shaking her head whilst laughing at her normally conservative son. 

Harry was too buzzed to care, trying to get everyone to join him on the breakfast bar, but no one would, which left Harry pouting and looking at you. For he knew that no matter how crazy or docile he was, you’d support him. His crazy was yours, and his calm was yours. Visa versa.

Being on top of the breakfast bar, screaming ‘Happy New Year!’ as Harry pours the champagne worth £ 500 in your mouth.

“Nope, I’m definitely dying, the world won’t stop spinning”

“That’s the fan”

“Oh, yeah”

You giggle at your boyfriends stupidness. But nevertheless, can't help but turn your body to face him.

Granted, right now, after the night you guys have had, you both look a little disheveled. But, you can’t help but still find your boyfriend absolutely gorgeous.

“Can’t believe I drank that much” You sighed.

Harry turns his head to look at you, smiling his pearly whites to you. He raises an eyebrow, almost to mock you.

“What! Totally didn’t intend to” You smiled.

Harry stares back at the ceiling to admire his fan once more.

“Surprised we didn’t end up shagging, you’re always up for a shag after a few drinks” He smiles.

Harry moves down to adjust his cock a little under the thin sheets.

Its true, it's been known that the two of you always end up a little horny after a few drinks. Like the time you shagged in Nick’s upstairs bathroom because too many glasses of wine later and you were  both making love heart eyes at one another.

Or the time at Anne’s, when you’d gone there for a BBQ with full intentions to come home and snuggle under Harry’s bed sheets. But, Harry ended up having too many beers to drive, so you opted to say at his Mum’s. However, Drunk Harry meant Horny Harry. Which ended up you being pounded into his old childhood bed.

But, yet, this New Years Eve, you ended up in bed, like normal people.

“We could have had a shag, I don’t remember anything after the breakfast bar” You suggested.

Harry pauses for a moment, almost like he's trying to gather information of last night's events to see if any of them left you two in bed hot and sweaty and begging for one another, they didn’t.

“Definitely wouldve’ remembered shagging yeh.” He concludes.

You notice Harry begins to grow a little uncomfortable under the sheets, a prominent dick tenting at his expensive sheets.

You reach your hand to go under the sheets, only to move it across to come into contact with his cock, holding it in your hand, you feel the heaviness of it sinking into your hand.

Harry hisses at the touch, yearning for you to do a little something now that you’re here.

“Babe” He breathes.

You watch his facial features as his face tenses when you move slightly, or how he bites his lip a little too tight when you rub your thumb over his tip.

“Maybe we should reimburse ourselves, you know.” You suggest, Harry’s nodding before you can even finish your sentence. 

You raise yourself a little, to move onto his legs, to perch their comfortably. You head spins a little, but you are sure that you’ll be fine once you see Harry putty beneath you. 

You sit on his right thigh, rubbing your naked sex along his thigh, just to give him an idea of how wet he makes you.

Harry’s eyes bulge as your slick pussy grinds itself down on his toned thigh. With his cock still in your hands as you repeatedly stroke, he feels as though he might just explode. 

“You like that?” You whisper. Harry nods.

You feel yourself catching your clit as you grind down on him, moving just right so you keep rubbing it against his thigh, right over his tiger tattoo that you always make sure he knows you love.

“Fuck, blimin’ ‘ell” You groans.

“Harry” You groan.

Harry knows what you’re asking. He knows you need a little help to get you where he is at, at his state of pure bliss.But, the selfish part of him wants you to carry on, but he needs to fuck you.

He taps your hip lightly to signal you to lie back down, and you do so.

His cock springs up to his tummy when you let go to move, and the feeling makes him tense, he’s not sure if its the loss of contact or how fast it sprung up.

He moves to tower over you, you’re naked. Deliciously naked and Harry knows that if he wasn’t moments away from cumming on you (in you he hopes) that he would take each sweet moment of the new day in the decade to kiss every inch of your skin so he can say that your decade started by you being worshipped.

But, this isn’t the time for that. He can’t think about how sweet your neck would taste as he suckles on that spot, or how could your perfume is that's lingered on your skin nor can he think about how you take sharp breathes in when he kisses down the valley of your breasts slowly until he comes face to face with your beautiful mound.

No. He needs to fuck you. Fuck you hard and fast so that depsite the fact he can’t worship every inch of your skin, he can bliming well fuck you well at the start of the decade.

Now you are the one that's putty. Underneath him you can’t think about anything but him. He consumes you. 

Harry holds his cock in his hands, tugging himself a little, to poke his red head at your entrance, trying to see if you are wet enough. Sure, his thigh was dripping with your arousal, but he likes to get his tip ready too.

Slowly he steps in your tight pussy, ensuring to go so slow just to wind you up. He knows he has succeeded when you grab hold of his shoulders tighter, drawing him closer. 

“Harry” You moan.

Harry’s in another world to even consider giving you what you want. He knows that teasing you is the easiest way to make you cum. Because by the time that he’s pounding into you, you’ve thought about him doing so for such time that you’re already close.

Harry begins to thrust, moving his hips at the most perfect pace for you both. He moves his hand down from beside your head to touch your clit a little. Slow circular motions mixed with the way he’s quickly pounding into your.

You feel yourself sinking lower and lower into bed and he pounds faster and harder each time.

“My heads fucking spinning and I can’t tell if its my hangover or the fact that this feels so fucking good” He moans. 

You laugh momentarily before the feeling of his thick big cock inside your pussy consumes your every thought. 

“Yes Harry” You moan, feeling yourself coming closer.

“Wanna come for your Harry?”

“My Harry?”

“Your Harry, always baby”

“Harder”

Harry gives his every effort with the last few minutes promising with each thrust you make you cum.

And, with every fibre in your body exploding you cum. The euphoric state takes over every inch of your body. Harry’s still moving inside you, trying to reach his own bliss, and sure enough, seeing you all fucked out against the bed, he cums minutes after.

“Fuck” Harry says. 

He’s still in you and he doesn’t want to move. The feeling all over his body is tingling and he doesn’t think he’s ever felt like this before with anyone.

“Harry you need to move, I need to pee” You say, Harry groans in frustration. If he had it his way, he’d stay in you all day, keeping his cock nice and warm.

But, slowly he moves out of you, his eyes tightly shut because it feels so good, even moving his cock out of you.

He watches you lift from the bed, being a little wobbly on your legs as you walk to his en-suite. Harry lays back, moving the covers over him again. 

He stares at the ceiling, that ticking noise becoming annoying now that Y/N’s mentioned it.

When he hears to knocks at the bedroom door, he grasp the sheets a little tighter, knowing he’s still that little hard.

“Yeh?!” He calls. 

Peering round the door, Anne comes into eye contact with her son.

“Um. Just wanted to let you know that I’ve grabbed some breakfast, are you and Y/N joining us?” She asked.

Harry began to feel his face turn a shade of red. 

“Yeah, we’ll be down in a minute.” He smiles a little.

“Clean up a lil, yeah?” She asks.

Harry nods.

“Yeah”

[teacup-baphomet]

G/t Drabble (Crash landed on a hostile planet trope but NOT via the a tiny vulnerable human in a planet of mean powerful alien bigs route)

tw: a bit of censored cursing. Uh. I’m not sure what else. Maybe broaching of sensitive tops such as sexuality and religion. But not really. Mostly it’s just rlly dumb word play/lame humor and a confused alien being confused (and kinda freaked/troubled due to the confusion? you’ll see if you read it i guess). there is some sad lorg boi times. idk. no romantic relationships. just a shaky friendship is forming between a crash-landed big-arse alien (a human! *gasp*  i woulda never guessed something as vile as that o: ) and one of the much smaller, very much not human locals. most want to kill the poor dude who got stuck on this planet of hostile lil guys who think he’s a monster and immediately decide they much off him asap. so like having this one ally is kinda important to him. But it’s hard. because. lots reasons rlly. culture differences. the language tech can only do so much. the size diff creates definite issues because trust is hard in general. and trusting a big being that could easily cause havoc on your planet mostly just cuz he /seems/ nice is not a very good foundation... there is much to learn between the two before they can be truly good frens. so uh good luck to them lol *raises glass* I mean. I don’t think I’ll ever write these two again. but I’m sure they’ll end up good friends. probably.

Anyway without further adieu, here have a disappointment (read: attempt to be creative but i’m kinda lazy tbh and still kinda bitter I can’t draw for more than like 10 minutes before I start spacing out :/ )

"We are called humans or the scientific name is homo sapiens" spoke the large alien, Lyle.

"Homo sapiens? That is rather long, is it not? Why is a "scientific name" even a thing? Why would that be necessary? Scientific name versus what kinda name? Emotional name? Why are these science names two words? Seems annoying. What is wrong with just calling yourselves simply homos? Or something else just as nice and concise. Straight to the point if you will. Probably. I... Uh.. I obviously don't know what exactly is the purpose of a scientific name as i already implied... Sooo..." The much shorter – and much scalier- native being (called Torrynts) awkwardly looked off the side to stare at the plain, blank, siding of their dilapidated, isolated house as if it were the most interesting thing in the entire vicinity. Which it wasn’t of course. There was a f***ing alien 15 times their size only a few them-sized lengths way…

 Lyle gave his new comrade – and only friend on this gawdforsaken planet that mostly wants him dead- th pondering, and possibly ironically, rather colourfully scaled Torrynt by the name of Kyvlar a bemused look, bordering on coy.

"Huh. 'Straight' to the point you say?" He paused with a small snort. "Well, my not-so-statuesque friend, do I got news for you~"

Kyvlar suddenly blanched, giving a Lyle a look that was like a knife to the heart while blurting out. "Wait, wait, wait! Hold up! We? There are more than one of you? Here? On this planet? Were you just a distraction the whole time. Oh... Oh no.... Have we really been victim a secret homo invasion this whole time! I-"

 Their panicked monologue was interrupted by a most horrendous noise. Like a slowly dying tornado with the hiccups or something.

"STOP. Stop I-I can't. I can't. This is too much much!" Spoke Lyle with his hand covering the bottom half of his  and his eyes scrunched shut.

 'Welp,' thought the Torrynt, 'This is the end. This is when I die. I should have known better than to immediately put my trust in such an enormous obviously dangerous specimen. Ho-'

 Kyvlar’s dramatic internal speech was interrupted when the alien surprised them by uncovering the his face, revealing a huge grin. ‘They weren't upset? Huh?’ The Torrynt blinked owlishly at the human in confusion.

 "Sh*t, bite-size (Kyvlar noticeably paled at the impromptu nickname not 100% the foreign joking tone, well it would have been noticeable to someone their size at least), I know you don't mean to, context-wise, but you reminded me of my great aunt Karen when my Uncle Todd and Uncle Copper decide to have their friends over along with relatives for a gatherin'."

Plastering on a faux distraught look and blatantly mocking tone, he  continue with exaggerated hand gestures. "Oh no, it's the...the...," he paused with snort, "... the homo invasion... No, no, no... Not here... not in this... this good, Christian neighborhood. Aren't just two of them enough? Oh woe is me!" The alien dropped the mocking tone and smirked towards the smaller being. "Heh. Good ol' great aunt Karen could never remember Uncle Todd was Jewish and so was the majority of that neighborhood.... It’s where my Uncle Todd was raised actually…"

 The said smaller being just stared blankly at the homo-no-human they supposed as just “homo” meant something else, they weren’t sure what else, beyond just something else.

 "Uhhm. Wh-what? U-Uhm, so what exactly is “homo” then? And what’s Christian? And Jewish too. What’s that? Are... Are those other types of -uh- intelligent, sentient creatures on your planet? Y-you know, b-beside hom-er-h-humans? Or are these subtypes of humans? What kinda are you? What is a great aunt? or Uncle? Does the great indicate a larger size? Oh gawd, a-aren't you humans b-big enough regularly? Oh... W-wait. O-or are you a great- uhm- great aunt, was it? E-er, g-great something? Ohhh. Zyntall (Torrynt swear). I'm sooo confused r-right now... " The timid tiny being, sighed in frustration before their eyes snapped open wide in a panic, and they did an immediate one-eighty with their behavior, and it was off all their previously trust, as wavering as it was, vanished in an instant, squeaking out a quick "sorry. oh, Z-zyntall... I'm so-so-sooo sorry. I-I hope I d-didn't offend y-you or anyth-thing... p-please, oh please, don't hurt me" while gazing everywhere except towards the much larger alien, hoping desperately the 'bite-size' nickname was just a bad joke...

 Clearly they not only didn't get what so hilarious about the whole thing but also thought he was a monster prone to violence – still. Lyle sighed, all the mirth that was previously in his expression draining out of him leaving him with an uncomfortable grimace on their face. How disappointing... They really wish there was another human here to share in the jesting. But alas, that was not meant to be. At least as far as they knew there was no "homo invasion" in the making. Lyle wasn’t naïve. He knew humans were easy to slip into a gray moral state, at best. The role of villains at worst. And many of his kind would likely take advantage of a planet full of tiny, vulnerable people. Lyle couldn’t help but inwardly cringe at the thought, getting nervous about something that wasn’t an issue. At least now. Currently, human-wise, it was just him on this distant planet. And as far as he knew, no one - well, no other human at least- had any clue where they were. It probably just seemed he simply disappeared. Never to be seen again most likely. Trapped on this random alien planet in scenario that is akin to some sort of a personal hell of sorts.

'Wow. Hello, major depressive episode that’s making me overly dramatic. I haven't seen you since I was - what - eighteen?' thought Lyle regretfully. Calling this planet a personal hell was probably a bit over the top. But still, he couldn’t even seem to keep the trust of his single native ally. It only adds to his feelings of lonely isolation. And he feared his lonely angst will only get worse and worse. But only time will tell.

Giving a small sigh, he mentally prepped himself to try and get back his small friend’s trust. At least he was able to laugh for a wee bit earlier. It had been so long since he had done such. It was nice. Hopefully next time it will not lead to a backtracking in his attempted friendly ships with an open local, or even worse, a hostile local. The little laser guns that native being had stung like a b*tch. It reminded him when he got bit a couple times by some fire ants during a vacation as a child.

-----------

So yeah these were rando improvised characters made on the spot.

But Lyle is a guy (he/him. He’d be chill with they/them too)

And Kyvlar is… a Torrynt. So like they/them I guess. Torrynts don’t have genders. Like at all. I guess they hermaphroditic (intersex if talking by human terms but not really as they are capable of reproduction and they aren’t human so… I dunno… Not even sure if hermaphrodite is a useful term. As idk if hermaphroditic animals, in nature, are capable of reproduction… I don’t think so? But I’m not sure tbh…). There is no variants like there are with human “sex”. And male/female concepts are 200+% foreign to these wee reptile-like aliens (albeit warm-blooded minded, so perhaps more draconian than reptilian idk. Also aliens being described as reptilian gives me hives due to a conspiracy theory that is like super bigoted actually n’ stuff. Very yikes. Don’t want to talk it about it rlly…). Their reaction would def be “wtf. That’s the weirdest sh*t ever” to such a thought as male n female binary dynamics & whatnot. No exceptions. They’d be like why a lot of you guys limiting yourself because of whether or not you are a potential offspring vessel or not. I don’t understand.

So Yeah. Uh. Anyways.

Their conversation about this prolly (or close to this):

Lyle: Hi. I’m Lyle. Just some random dude form Earth I guess.

Kyvlar: a random dude what?

Lyle: uh. I’m a dude. I guess I meant that I’m a boy though dudes don’t really have to be boys I think. But not to derail too much… Yeah. I’m a man/guy/boy/brosef, whatever you wanna call the male gender. Please not by brosef actually, heh. Anyway. Yep. A boy. That is what I am. Uh. How about you. I can just tell… you ….you have uhm two legs. Oh damn. Wait. That sounded so stupid. I wouldn’t assume your gender or anything. I just… You don’t look exactly human so..uh. UGH. Nevermind. I don’t even know where I was going with that... Heh. ANYWAY, so yeah what’s your gender is what I’m trying to say. Sorry I’m awkward as f***. I’m not used to socializing much. Been doing deep space sh** on my own for a few years now and.. uh.. yeahhhh….

Kyvlar: *stares blankly*

Lyle: Uh. Yeah. So. A Gender? Do you, uhm, have one? Or…????

Kyvlar: Uh. I think so? I mean I’m mostly a day-by-day I’ll figure it out then type but I, I really want be able to fix my home up. I want to learn to cook. Kinda suck at it now. Uhm. I guess… Uh. I should probably help you get on good terms with my people so they stop trying to kill you. You seem nice n’ stuff… so yeah. There’s that. I could use a little more purpose in my life. Not to-

Lyle: wait. Huh? What are you talking about? Are you talking about an agenda?

Kyvlar: Yes????

Lyle: *snorts* I didn’t say an agenda. I said a gender. As in A. Gen. Durr. Like are male or female or maybe something off the typical binary track??

Kyvlar: Uh. Er. Huh??? I, I’m so confused right now…

Lyle: Hooo boy. I’m so not prepared for this discussion at all.

-----------

One of these days I’m gonna have a character that’s silver-tongue and smooth af and not some bumbling awkward doofus (*cough* like I am *cough*).