angelmartinez2022

[angelmartinez2022]

[angelmartinez2022]

story one

ok.. so i never really use this blog for much. So I’ve decided to start using it to get some of the crap echoing in my skull out. Maybe if I write about these feelings, confront them and drag them out into the light of day

they will go away. My family is basically nuts. Long story short. 

My father was a very good man but I think he was too caught up in enabling my mom’s bad behavior. My mom was what I now realize a very selfish person, concerned with only my sister and my sister’s children. Many times to the exclusions of my own needs. I have a lot of other stories.. but ahh right now I wanna get the story of this lil fella outta my head.

That’s right folks.. A bloody green ranger toy. HOW may you ask, does a green ranger toy play into the chasms of my mind ? Really simple. This lil guy is a reproduction of the original. See the lil hasbro dealy down in the corner?

But many years ago back in the summer of 1994, I had some extra money from my baby sitting and dog walking jobs. Relying on my folks for money was after a certain point just plain stupid. I had to rely on them for insurance and a few other things, but spending money. Fun money, and yah even clothes and food, no. NOPE. My pride got the better of me and I got sick of listening to people ( mom) bitch about what I ate, how much clothes cost, and how sorry and wasteful I was. I really got kinda tired of it. It’s not that they refused to provide it. They did. But it came at the price of having to hear her constantly criticize me. My weight, what I ate, What i wore. So my brain simply went to the place.. WELL.. if I stop asking them to provide these things. They will lose that control. So I just started getting my own things. That was the situation the summer that the original of this lil fella came out. Originally he was about half of what he is now, 13.00. So he would have been like six bucks. (Yay inflation!)  There was a mall on the hill that had Kaybee toys in it. Despite the fact that I was a teenager myself, I enjoyed the show a lot. And this lil asshole in green spandex was my fave. I loved green, I loved dragons, And Pretty boy mc fluffuly hair was kinda cute. So… yah He was my fave. So thinking not much of it I brought this lil fell as a model to help me learn to draw them. Fast forward to that fall. See my sister had gone off and gotten knocked up back when I was Ten.. Par for the course with people of my mom’s religious persuasion. It is The DUTY of the younger family members to help when the older sibling has a baby. Especially when she comes home from whoring around out west, without a penny to her name. She came home with her demon spawn in her belly and my childhood effectively came to an end. For around six/seven years I had been putting up with it. My sister’s child, though he claims he loves his auntie now, was EVIL. I have scars from where this lil asshole assaulted me.  Maybe I should forgive him but I refuse to forget. Specifically this incident. For some ungodly reason. My parents decided that weekend we were all going to spend time at the grandparents house out in the small town in eastern KY. I HATED it. I was basically Belle in that town. Girl with a brain stuck in a town that only values a woman on how many babies she can crank out and how fast. To this day they hate me because I, after finding out I was fucking sterile, chose degree’s over children. Not even bothering to account that Children are an impossibility for me. Nope, being a pregasaurus rex is all that matters there. That is how your value as a woman is determined in that family. My dad’s family wasn’t as bad, due to my Grandpa Jim being very progressive and very education oriented. Honestly without my Grandpa Jim, I’d probably have gone stark raving mad when the occasion came to visit this town. BLEH. 

So this weekend.. because I wanted to work on some art and drawings. I shoved my lil green buddy there in my bag and took him with me so I could practice drawing his shield and stuff. So picture that.. Someone minding their own business .. with their own toy… not bothering anyone else and working on a drawing. Peaceful right? That peace was very quickly shattered. Noa, the demon seed of my sister had never noticed my lil green ranger toy there before. Sometimes he and I watched the show together when I was forced to babysit the lil shit. 

So he liked the show too. He spots my toy sitting on the table as I am drawing him and comes up. Promptly reaches up onto the table.. takes my figure and starts to make off with him. I Stop him, take Tommy back and tell him. “No kid, that’s mine. You can’t have it.” “but I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant  it!!” I tell him no again and then pack up my drawing stuff and head up stairs to get some peace and quiet. It does not last long. I’m on my bed now drawing, and here comes my sister. “Did you take that toy from Noa!” She shouts.. pointing at the green ranger that I remind you, I paid for and was mine. “NO,” I tell her flatly, “HE tried to take it from ME.” “Well,” She huffs, “GIVE IT TOO HIM.” “No,” I replied, “no, it’s my toy and he can’t have it. They sell them at Kaybees, when we get back to civilization just go get him one.” “NO give it to him now!” She snarls, “You’re too old for that anyway.” “Well I don’t care if I am too old for it,” I shrug, “I paid for it, It’s mine. If he wants one, buy him his own.” I proceed to pick up the toy and shove it back into my bag. “You either give me that toy or You’re gonna get it,” She tells me. I ignore her and go back to my drawing. She storms off down the steps and not 10 minutes later I hear my mom standing at the bottom step, screeching like a fucking banshee.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!” At the top of her lungs, “GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND YOU BRING THAT BABY’S TOY WITH YOU!!" 

My dad is out with my Mom’s father some place so I am aware that I am caught in there with all my female relatives on my mom’s side of the family. Mom, Sister, Nanna, and Auntie. I know I will be ganged up on the moment I go down stairs. I make a point of leaving Tommy in my bag and head down so that the yelling can start. Start it does. For a good thirty minutes. Basically telling me what a selfish lil brat I am for not giving my nephew that toy. HOW horrid of a person I was for hogging the item that I PERSONALLY paid for and not giving it to him. I tell them he can’t have it and promptly get slapped in the face by my mom. I am not the five nine amazon that I am now. I was a bitty lil 17 year old that was about two sauce packets tall. And my mom knew how to slap someone and make it hurt.  She slapped me so hard my nose tried to bleed. Then told me that IF I didn’t go get the toy she was gonna slap me again. All of my female relatives backed her up. I told her NO.. Got slapped again and she went and got the toy out of my backpack herself. She then asked me if I was going to give it to Noa. I Once again told her no. So she told me in no uncertain terms that If Noa couldn’t have the toy. Neither could I. She tossed my Green ranger into the trash. Had my Auntie bag it up in front of me and haul it out to the trash can. Eventually Dad came home and saw the red hand print and found out what had happened. Told my mom she had no right to make me share something I had paid for with my own money. Or simply take it from me because the demon seed wanted it. He went to get it but by then it was too late. The trash had been picked up and my green ranger was gone. He offered me the money to replace the toy but I told him no. The same thing would just continue to happen as long as Noa and my sister were around. Mom would take their side and the things I loved would keep dying. It was a long time before I ever saw that toy again. A year ago I saw one on hasbro and my darling husband asked me , without knowing the story actually, if I wanted it. This was because he knows my love of power rangers. He got me the reproduction and it sits on my desk  for the world to see. To pay him back this year I bought him the white one because that was his favorite. But he never had it taken away, just never got one. So yah.. Proof that my mom, sister , auntie and nana were fucking nuts. They destroyed my power ranger toy because I refused to give it to my nephew. Plain and simple.

[angelmartinez2022]

if 6 months of quarantine has proved nothing, it’s shown that the dad from The Shining was a weakass lil bitch

[angelmartinez2022]

[angelmartinez2022]

[angelmartinez2022]

story one

ok.. so i never really use this blog for much. So I’ve decided to start using it to get some of the crap echoing in my skull out. Maybe if I write about these feelings, confront them and drag them out into the light of day

they will go away. My family is basically nuts. Long story short. 

My father was a very good man but I think he was too caught up in enabling my mom’s bad behavior. My mom was what I now realize a very selfish person, concerned with only my sister and my sister’s children. Many times to the exclusions of my own needs. I have a lot of other stories.. but ahh right now I wanna get the story of this lil fella outta my head.

That’s right folks.. A bloody green ranger toy. HOW may you ask, does a green ranger toy play into the chasms of my mind ? Really simple. This lil guy is a reproduction of the original. See the lil hasbro dealy down in the corner?

But many years ago back in the summer of 1994, I had some extra money from my baby sitting and dog walking jobs. Relying on my folks for money was after a certain point just plain stupid. I had to rely on them for insurance and a few other things, but spending money. Fun money, and yah even clothes and food, no. NOPE. My pride got the better of me and I got sick of listening to people ( mom) bitch about what I ate, how much clothes cost, and how sorry and wasteful I was. I really got kinda tired of it. It’s not that they refused to provide it. They did. But it came at the price of having to hear her constantly criticize me. My weight, what I ate, What i wore. So my brain simply went to the place.. WELL.. if I stop asking them to provide these things. They will lose that control. So I just started getting my own things. That was the situation the summer that the original of this lil fella came out. Originally he was about half of what he is now, 13.00. So he would have been like six bucks. (Yay inflation!)  There was a mall on the hill that had Kaybee toys in it. Despite the fact that I was a teenager myself, I enjoyed the show a lot. And this lil asshole in green spandex was my fave. I loved green, I loved dragons, And Pretty boy mc fluffuly hair was kinda cute. So… yah He was my fave. So thinking not much of it I brought this lil fell as a model to help me learn to draw them. Fast forward to that fall. See my sister had gone off and gotten knocked up back when I was Ten.. Par for the course with people of my mom’s religious persuasion. It is The DUTY of the younger family members to help when the older sibling has a baby. Especially when she comes home from whoring around out west, without a penny to her name. She came home with her demon spawn in her belly and my childhood effectively came to an end. For around six/seven years I had been putting up with it. My sister’s child, though he claims he loves his auntie now, was EVIL. I have scars from where this lil asshole assaulted me.  Maybe I should forgive him but I refuse to forget. Specifically this incident. For some ungodly reason. My parents decided that weekend we were all going to spend time at the grandparents house out in the small town in eastern KY. I HATED it. I was basically Belle in that town. Girl with a brain stuck in a town that only values a woman on how many babies she can crank out and how fast. To this day they hate me because I, after finding out I was fucking sterile, chose degree’s over children. Not even bothering to account that Children are an impossibility for me. Nope, being a pregasaurus rex is all that matters there. That is how your value as a woman is determined in that family. My dad’s family wasn’t as bad, due to my Grandpa Jim being very progressive and very education oriented. Honestly without my Grandpa Jim, I’d probably have gone stark raving mad when the occasion came to visit this town. BLEH. 

So this weekend.. because I wanted to work on some art and drawings. I shoved my lil green buddy there in my bag and took him with me so I could practice drawing his shield and stuff. So picture that.. Someone minding their own business .. with their own toy… not bothering anyone else and working on a drawing. Peaceful right? That peace was very quickly shattered. Noa, the demon seed of my sister had never noticed my lil green ranger toy there before. Sometimes he and I watched the show together when I was forced to babysit the lil shit. 

So he liked the show too. He spots my toy sitting on the table as I am drawing him and comes up. Promptly reaches up onto the table.. takes my figure and starts to make off with him. I Stop him, take Tommy back and tell him. “No kid, that’s mine. You can’t have it.” “but I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant  it!!” I tell him no again and then pack up my drawing stuff and head up stairs to get some peace and quiet. It does not last long. I’m on my bed now drawing, and here comes my sister. “Did you take that toy from Noa!” She shouts.. pointing at the green ranger that I remind you, I paid for and was mine. “NO,” I tell her flatly, “HE tried to take it from ME.” “Well,” She huffs, “GIVE IT TOO HIM.” “No,” I replied, “no, it’s my toy and he can’t have it. They sell them at Kaybees, when we get back to civilization just go get him one.” “NO give it to him now!” She snarls, “You’re too old for that anyway.” “Well I don’t care if I am too old for it,” I shrug, “I paid for it, It’s mine. If he wants one, buy him his own.” I proceed to pick up the toy and shove it back into my bag. “You either give me that toy or You’re gonna get it,” She tells me. I ignore her and go back to my drawing. She storms off down the steps and not 10 minutes later I hear my mom standing at the bottom step, screeching like a fucking banshee.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!” At the top of her lungs, “GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND YOU BRING THAT BABY’S TOY WITH YOU!!“ 

My dad is out with my Mom’s father some place so I am aware that I am caught in there with all my female relatives on my mom’s side of the family. Mom, Sister, Nanna, and Auntie. I know I will be ganged up on the moment I go down stairs. I make a point of leaving Tommy in my bag and head down so that the yelling can start. Start it does. For a good thirty minutes. Basically telling me what a selfish lil brat I am for not giving my nephew that toy. HOW horrid of a person I was for hogging the item that I PERSONALLY paid for and not giving it to him. I tell them he can’t have it and promptly get slapped in the face by my mom. I am not the five nine amazon that I am now. I was a bitty lil 17 year old that was about two sauce packets tall. And my mom knew how to slap someone and make it hurt.  She slapped me so hard my nose tried to bleed. Then told me that IF I didn’t go get the toy she was gonna slap me again. All of my female relatives backed her up. I told her NO.. Got slapped again and she went and got the toy out of my backpack herself. She then asked me if I was going to give it to Noa. I Once again told her no. So she told me in no uncertain terms that If Noa couldn’t have the toy. Neither could I. She tossed my Green ranger into the trash. Had my Auntie bag it up in front of me and haul it out to the trash can. Eventually Dad came home and saw the red hand print and found out what had happened. Told my mom she had no right to make me share something I had paid for with my own money. Or simply take it from me because the demon seed wanted it. He went to get it but by then it was too late. The trash had been picked up and my green ranger was gone. He offered me the money to replace the toy but I told him no. The same thing would just continue to happen as long as Noa and my sister were around. Mom would take their side and the things I loved would keep dying. It was a long time before I ever saw that toy again. A year ago I saw one on hasbro and my darling husband asked me , without knowing the story actually, if I wanted it. This was because he knows my love of power rangers. He got me the reproduction and it sits on my desk  for the world to see. To pay him back this year I bought him the white one because that was his favorite. But he never had it taken away, just never got one. So yah.. Proof that my mom, sister , auntie and nana were fucking nuts. They destroyed my power ranger toy because I refused to give it to my nephew. Plain and simple.

[angelmartinez2022]

What they mean to me..

I like rainbow high dolls. i have a lot.. This will update with time..  Violet Willow This pretty lil lady was my first rainbow high doll. The one that, with that pretty purple hair and sweet face broke through the, I refuse to buy these dolls wall. The moment I took her out of that box i realized how much i was gonna love these dolls. Her hair was amazing, her out fit so detailed. She reminded me why i loved dolls so much in the first place. She brought back that connection to my Gramma, as I sat there and thought about what Gram Mavis would have done if she could have had one of these dolls. I was HOPELESSLY HELPLESSLY hooked. Ruby Anderson She was the second doll to catch my fancy. I have always loved red, and shades of red. That pretty red hair of hers was what drew me in. Finding her on sale on amazon was a bonus. It made me want her that much more when i saw she was on sale. Contrary to popular belief in my family, No one GIVES me the money for these things. I get out there and bust my butt, working even when i am sick sometimes, when i should be home in bed to  make the ends meet. When those ends do meet and i have a lil left over, its nice to indulge in something sweet and innocent as these lil dolls. That’s what ruby means to me when i look at her, I made the ends meet for another week and she was my lil reward. Poppy Rowan She was the one i waffled on, i stared at the screen and tried to convince my self is it ok to get her? Will i be able to afford her? She is the one i held off on the longest, saving money  lil bit here, and there to make sure I had enough that Buying at 25+ dollar doll was not gonna  put a dent in my finances. It made me happy when i added that last five bucks to my amazon gift account and ordered her. Like ruby pop’s is a doll that shows not only can i make the ends meet but that I know how to scrimp and save to get what I want with out hurting my self, or anyone else.

 Sunny Madison Yah this chickie was a real wild card, yet again a purchase on the ama of zons because i saw her on sale. I dont care if the box has a scuff. It was 10.00 off. I really didnt care much for her until i got her into my hands. OOOOOO BOY… never get them into your hands if you are waffling . That is the most sure fire way to loose the battle. The moment i looked into those sweet lil eyes of hers, I knew i was lost. I had to keep her and i loved her. She’s the one that I didnt expect to love but wound up cherishing. 

Jade Hunter Well folks.. This lil  lady was the one that I DIDNT want.. I have never been much a fan of green. (Unless your tommy oliver..back off man hes awesome) It’s one of those colors that i can take or leave. So i was on the fence about her for a long time. Eventually i had a lil extra cash.. And she was the last one i needed in the group. Much like sunny, once i had miss jade in my hands she stole my heart. There is something so sweet about her face. I’m not sure what it is, maybe its just her personality from the show as well. This is why i HAD to have winter break jade too!

Skyler Bradshaw Well this lil lady is a fun case. I have been at my current place of employment for a while. About three years. On regular basis they like to hand out 100.00 gift cards for I dunno reasons?  Well i had one that I had used for some groceries, but i had about 40.00 left on. Skyler and one of the hair mazing prom perfect dolls became my purchases with that left over fourty. She is just such a gentle soul when i look at her. I love the colors of her hair and the look of her clothing. And Everytime i look at her i will remember that silly gift card and how she was a reward from work. 

Amaya Raine I got the second version of this lovely girl first. I actually wound up with two of her because I wanted one for her cheer out fit and one for her every day look. Also she was ten bucks on amazon, so i found the second one just irresistible. She is indeed as lovely in person as she is in the cartoon. I love her sweet personality and demeanor, she is a lil cringy and awkward but i love her none the less. She reminds me of my self a lot. I was the awkward lil kid in high school and so i can totally feel that. Plus the rainbow thing, any other meanings aside i have always loved rainbows. They were always a symbol of hope to me, and looking at her just makes me feel hopeful ya know?

Ok whos next??? Ooooo… Bella Parker This lil lady was the one that I had a tiff over with a mom in the local target. I rare day that I was working first shift, and I got off early enough to go get her. Besides being one of the only ones i paid full price for, yah i wanted her THAT badly. I LOVE PINK. She was the one of the two that got a mom pissed off at me.  I went over to the home of  yea old bullseye and pulled this lovely lil lady off the shelf. Turned and found a woman with a “karen” hair cut glaring down her nose at me. I Looked at her, blinked and then asked her what her fucking problem was. Yah sorry lady, not on the clock, NOT being paid 14.00 and hour to be nice to you. I’m gonna swear at you if you piss me off. She went on a tirade about how awful it was for a grown woman to be getting dolls, and it was just shameful. I told her to go fuck her self and breezed past her and went to pay for my lil pink beauty.

[angelmartinez2022]

What they mean to me..

I like rainbow high dolls. i have a lot.. This will update with time..  Violet Willow This pretty lil lady was my first rainbow high doll. The one that, with that pretty purple hair and sweet face broke through the, I refuse to buy these dolls wall. The moment I took her out of that box i realized how much i was gonna love these dolls. Her hair was amazing, her out fit so detailed. She reminded me why i loved dolls so much in the first place. She brought back that connection to my Gramma, as I sat there and thought about what Gram Mavis would have done if she could have had one of these dolls. I was HOPELESSLY HELPLESSLY hooked. Ruby Anderson She was the second doll to catch my fancy. I have always loved red, and shades of red. That pretty red hair of hers was what drew me in. Finding her on sale on amazon was a bonus. It made me want her that much more when i saw she was on sale. Contrary to popular belief in my family, No one GIVES me the money for these things. I get out there and bust my butt, working even when i am sick sometimes, when i should be home in bed to  make the ends meet. When those ends do meet and i have a lil left over, its nice to indulge in something sweet and innocent as these lil dolls. That’s what ruby means to me when i look at her, I made the ends meet for another week and she was my lil reward. Poppy Rowan She was the one i waffled on, i stared at the screen and tried to convince my self is it ok to get her? Will i be able to afford her? She is the one i held off on the longest, saving money  lil bit here, and there to make sure I had enough that Buying at 25+ dollar doll was not gonna  put a dent in my finances. It made me happy when i added that last five bucks to my amazon gift account and ordered her. Like ruby pop’s is a doll that shows not only can i make the ends meet but that I know how to scrimp and save to get what I want with out hurting my self, or anyone else.

 Sunny Madison Yah this chickie was a real wild card, yet again a purchase on the ama of zons because i saw her on sale. I dont care if the box has a scuff. It was 10.00 off. I really didnt care much for her until i got her into my hands. OOOOOO BOY… never get them into your hands if you are waffling . That is the most sure fire way to loose the battle. The moment i looked into those sweet lil eyes of hers, I knew i was lost. I had to keep her and i loved her. She’s the one that I didnt expect to love but wound up cherishing. 

Jade Hunter Well folks.. This lil  lady was the one that I DIDNT want.. I have never been much a fan of green. (Unless your tommy oliver..back off man hes awesome) It’s one of those colors that i can take or leave. So i was on the fence about her for a long time. Eventually i had a lil extra cash.. And she was the last one i needed in the group. Much like sunny, once i had miss jade in my hands she stole my heart. There is something so sweet about her face. I’m not sure what it is, maybe its just her personality from the show as well. This is why i HAD to have winter break jade too!

Skyler Bradshaw Well this lil lady is a fun case. I have been at my current place of employment for a while. About three years. On regular basis they like to hand out 100.00 gift cards for I dunno reasons?  Well i had one that I had used for some groceries, but i had about 40.00 left on. Skyler and one of the hair mazing prom perfect dolls became my purchases with that left over fourty. She is just such a gentle soul when i look at her. I love the colors of her hair and the look of her clothing. And Everytime i look at her i will remember that silly gift card and how she was a reward from work. 

Amaya Raine I got the second version of this lovely girl first. I actually wound up with two of her because I wanted one for her cheer out fit and one for her every day look. Also she was ten bucks on amazon, so i found the second one just irresistible. She is indeed as lovely in person as she is in the cartoon. I love her sweet personality and demeanor, she is a lil cringy and awkward but i love her none the less. She reminds me of my self a lot. I was the awkward lil kid in high school and so i can totally feel that. Plus the rainbow thing, any other meanings aside i have always loved rainbows. They were always a symbol of hope to me, and looking at her just makes me feel hopeful ya know?

Ok whos next??? Ooooo… Bella Parker This lil lady was the one that I had a tiff over with a mom in the local target. I rare day that I was working first shift, and I got off early enough to go get her. Besides being one of the only ones i paid full price for, yah i wanted her THAT badly. I LOVE PINK. She was the one of the two that got a mom pissed off at me.  I went over to the home of  yea old bullseye and pulled this lovely lil lady off the shelf. Turned and found a woman with a “karen” hair cut glaring down her nose at me. I Looked at her, blinked and then asked her what her fucking problem was. Yah sorry lady, not on the clock, NOT being paid 14.00 and hour to be nice to you. I’m gonna swear at you if you piss me off. She went on a tirade about how awful it was for a grown woman to be getting dolls, and it was just shameful. I told her to go fuck her self and breezed past her and went to pay for my lil pink beauty.

[angelmartinez2022]

story one

ok.. so i never really use this blog for much. So I’ve decided to start using it to get some of the crap echoing in my skull out. Maybe if I write about these feelings, confront them and drag them out into the light of day

they will go away. My family is basically nuts. Long story short. 

My father was a very good man but I think he was too caught up in enabling my mom’s bad behavior. My mom was what I now realize a very selfish person, concerned with only my sister and my sister’s children. Many times to the exclusions of my own needs. I have a lot of other stories.. but ahh right now I wanna get the story of this lil fella outta my head.

That’s right folks.. A bloody green ranger toy. HOW may you ask, does a green ranger toy play into the chasms of my mind ? Really simple. This lil guy is a reproduction of the original. See the lil hasbro dealy down in the corner?

But many years ago back in the summer of 1994, I had some extra money from my baby sitting and dog walking jobs. Relying on my folks for money was after a certain point just plain stupid. I had to rely on them for insurance and a few other things, but spending money. Fun money, and yah even clothes and food, no. NOPE. My pride got the better of me and I got sick of listening to people ( mom) bitch about what I ate, how much clothes cost, and how sorry and wasteful I was. I really got kinda tired of it. It’s not that they refused to provide it. They did. But it came at the price of having to hear her constantly criticize me. My weight, what I ate, What i wore. So my brain simply went to the place.. WELL.. if I stop asking them to provide these things. They will lose that control. So I just started getting my own things. That was the situation the summer that the original of this lil fella came out. Originally he was about half of what he is now, 13.00. So he would have been like six bucks. (Yay inflation!)  There was a mall on the hill that had Kaybee toys in it. Despite the fact that I was a teenager myself, I enjoyed the show a lot. And this lil asshole in green spandex was my fave. I loved green, I loved dragons, And Pretty boy mc fluffuly hair was kinda cute. So… yah He was my fave. So thinking not much of it I brought this lil fell as a model to help me learn to draw them. Fast forward to that fall. See my sister had gone off and gotten knocked up back when I was Ten.. Par for the course with people of my mom’s religious persuasion. It is The DUTY of the younger family members to help when the older sibling has a baby. Especially when she comes home from whoring around out west, without a penny to her name. She came home with her demon spawn in her belly and my childhood effectively came to an end. For around six/seven years I had been putting up with it. My sister’s child, though he claims he loves his auntie now, was EVIL. I have scars from where this lil asshole assaulted me.  Maybe I should forgive him but I refuse to forget. Specifically this incident. For some ungodly reason. My parents decided that weekend we were all going to spend time at the grandparents house out in the small town in eastern KY. I HATED it. I was basically Belle in that town. Girl with a brain stuck in a town that only values a woman on how many babies she can crank out and how fast. To this day they hate me because I, after finding out I was fucking sterile, chose degree’s over children. Not even bothering to account that Children are an impossibility for me. Nope, being a pregasaurus rex is all that matters there. That is how your value as a woman is determined in that family. My dad’s family wasn’t as bad, due to my Grandpa Jim being very progressive and very education oriented. Honestly without my Grandpa Jim, I’d probably have gone stark raving mad when the occasion came to visit this town. BLEH. 

So this weekend.. because I wanted to work on some art and drawings. I shoved my lil green buddy there in my bag and took him with me so I could practice drawing his shield and stuff. So picture that.. Someone minding their own business .. with their own toy… not bothering anyone else and working on a drawing. Peaceful right? That peace was very quickly shattered. Noa, the demon seed of my sister had never noticed my lil green ranger toy there before. Sometimes he and I watched the show together when I was forced to babysit the lil shit. 

So he liked the show too. He spots my toy sitting on the table as I am drawing him and comes up. Promptly reaches up onto the table.. takes my figure and starts to make off with him. I Stop him, take Tommy back and tell him. “No kid, that’s mine. You can’t have it.” “but I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant  it!!” I tell him no again and then pack up my drawing stuff and head up stairs to get some peace and quiet. It does not last long. I’m on my bed now drawing, and here comes my sister. “Did you take that toy from Noa!” She shouts.. pointing at the green ranger that I remind you, I paid for and was mine. “NO,” I tell her flatly, “HE tried to take it from ME.” “Well,” She huffs, “GIVE IT TOO HIM.” “No,” I replied, “no, it’s my toy and he can’t have it. They sell them at Kaybees, when we get back to civilization just go get him one.” “NO give it to him now!” She snarls, “You’re too old for that anyway.” “Well I don’t care if I am too old for it,” I shrug, “I paid for it, It’s mine. If he wants one, buy him his own.” I proceed to pick up the toy and shove it back into my bag. “You either give me that toy or You’re gonna get it,” She tells me. I ignore her and go back to my drawing. She storms off down the steps and not 10 minutes later I hear my mom standing at the bottom step, screeching like a fucking banshee.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!” At the top of her lungs, “GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND YOU BRING THAT BABY’S TOY WITH YOU!!" 

My dad is out with my Mom’s father some place so I am aware that I am caught in there with all my female relatives on my mom’s side of the family. Mom, Sister, Nanna, and Auntie. I know I will be ganged up on the moment I go down stairs. I make a point of leaving Tommy in my bag and head down so that the yelling can start. Start it does. For a good thirty minutes. Basically telling me what a selfish lil brat I am for not giving my nephew that toy. HOW horrid of a person I was for hogging the item that I PERSONALLY paid for and not giving it to him. I tell them he can’t have it and promptly get slapped in the face by my mom. I am not the five nine amazon that I am now. I was a bitty lil 17 year old that was about two sauce packets tall. And my mom knew how to slap someone and make it hurt.  She slapped me so hard my nose tried to bleed. Then told me that IF I didn’t go get the toy she was gonna slap me again. All of my female relatives backed her up. I told her NO.. Got slapped again and she went and got the toy out of my backpack herself. She then asked me if I was going to give it to Noa. I Once again told her no. So she told me in no uncertain terms that If Noa couldn’t have the toy. Neither could I. She tossed my Green ranger into the trash. Had my Auntie bag it up in front of me and haul it out to the trash can. Eventually Dad came home and saw the red hand print and found out what had happened. Told my mom she had no right to make me share something I had paid for with my own money. Or simply take it from me because the demon seed wanted it. He went to get it but by then it was too late. The trash had been picked up and my green ranger was gone. He offered me the money to replace the toy but I told him no. The same thing would just continue to happen as long as Noa and my sister were around. Mom would take their side and the things I loved would keep dying. It was a long time before I ever saw that toy again. A year ago I saw one on hasbro and my darling husband asked me , without knowing the story actually, if I wanted it. This was because he knows my love of power rangers. He got me the reproduction and it sits on my desk  for the world to see. To pay him back this year I bought him the white one because that was his favorite. But he never had it taken away, just never got one. So yah.. Proof that my mom, sister , auntie and nana were fucking nuts. They destroyed my power ranger toy because I refused to give it to my nephew. Plain and simple.

[angelmartinez2022]

@PrincessCadence2012

have officially given up on hasbin hotell and hellofaboss. Because it has developed Home stuck syndrome. By this i mean.. The fans... The cosplayers, the role players, the bloggers, ect, out there on places like tumblr... see these characters that doo horrid things.. and think its ok to emulate it. BUT.. when you emulate it back, and tease or display the same behavior they get mad. They dis play the bad behavior of the characters in real life. Its disgusting and I had it with home stuck and ive had it with this.

[angelmartinez2022]

[angelmartinez2022]

if luke and leia were born during the clone wars

like, during season 4, not after when everything went terribly wrong

- Padme, 6-9 months pregnant, rushes into combat all the time. Anakin has an aneurysm. “YOU ARE A SENATOR. HOW DO YOU GET SHOT AT ALL THE TIME???” and yet she never actually takes damage because she is ~flawless~

- officially, Padme’s children have no father. In an interview with the press, she said “I wanted a baby, so I acquired one” and that’s that. unofficially, anyone with the Force knows Anakin is the father. Honestly, anyone with eyes knows Anakin is the father.

- because you know how Anakin and Padme are the least subtle secret couple? Yeah, that goes out the window when she gets pregnant. Anakin kisses her mid-battle and smooches her back at camp and watches her with stars in his eyes and professes his love for her all the time. When Padme asks about this, he just shrugs and says “well they haven’t kicked me out of the order yet!”

- which is mostly because of Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is deliberately pretending he didn’t see his former padawan makeout with a senator. it’s like, okay, he knows he’s supposed to do something about this, but they are in the middle of a war, and if they have to kick Anakin out of the Order right now for knocking up a senator then they will lose this war. Obi-Wan has more important things to worry about than Anakin’s libido. 

- KIX  👐 TELLS  👐 PADME  👐 THERE  👐 ARE  👐 TWIN  👐 BABIES  👐 IN  👐 THERE  👐

- speaking of the clones, oh man, they are so fiercely protective of Padme. She is their general’s lady and their senator and they would gladly die before letting her or her babies get hurt.

- (but also, preggars Padme makes them sad, because will any of them ever get that for themselves? probably not–they were made to die, and with the rapid aging…but maybe one day…)

- Rex has absolutely had to go get weird food combinations in the middle of the night for his general’s wife. absolutely. that is in Rex’s job description.

- also you thought Padme gave effective speeches before? Imagine pregnant Padme giving speeches about needing to end the war for peace for the future. 110% approval rating comes from soft pregnancy glow.

- the twins are born on a battlefield in a camp where there’s blasterfire and smoke not two feet away. Obi-Wan is there, and he intends to tell Anakin and Padme both that he’s sorry, that they’ll get the twins for a little while, but they’ll have to go to the temple, they’ll have to be raised in the creche–

- but then luke is born, and the Force screams at Obi-Wan this is your padawan and obi-wan goes “oh” softly.

- also, Leia comes into the world and Ahsoka watches and goes “oh look it’s my padawan. I mean I’m a padawan myself but that girl is going to be my padawan some day this is rad.”

- so Anakin relaxes a bit, ‘cause the Force is going to take care of its grandchildren okay, it wants it’s favorite son to be happy.

- which means Palpatine has lost any and all chance of converting Anakin to the dark side. It will never happen now.

- i’m not saying that after they are born, Anakin and Padme strap a twin each to their back and then head out into battle, but Luke and Leia’s first lullaby is the sound of blasterfire and lightsabers

[angelmartinez2022]

story one

 ok.. so i never really use this blog for much. So I've decided to start using it to get some of the crap echoing in my skull out. Maybe if I write about these feelings, confront them and drag them out into the light of day

they will go away. My family is basically nuts. Long story short. 

My father was a very good man but I think he was too caught up in enabling my mom's bad behavior. My mom was what I now realize a very selfish person, concerned with only my sister and my sister's children. Many times to the exclusions of my own needs. I have a lot of other stories.. but ahh right now I wanna get the story of this lil fella outta my head.

That's right folks.. A bloody green ranger toy. HOW may you ask, does a green ranger toy play into the chasms of my mind ? Really simple. This lil guy is a reproduction of the original. See the lil hasbro dealy down in the corner?

But many years ago back in the summer of 1994, I had some extra money from my baby sitting and dog walking jobs. Relying on my folks for money was after a certain point just plain stupid. I had to rely on them for insurance and a few other things, but spending money. Fun money, and yah even clothes and food, no. NOPE. My pride got the better of me and I got sick of listening to people ( mom) bitch about what I ate, how much clothes cost, and how sorry and wasteful I was. I really got kinda tired of it. It's not that they refused to provide it. They did. But it came at the price of having to hear her constantly criticize me. My weight, what I ate, What i wore. So my brain simply went to the place.. WELL.. if I stop asking them to provide these things. They will lose that control. So I just started getting my own things. That was the situation the summer that the original of this lil fella came out. Originally he was about half of what he is now, 13.00. So he would have been like six bucks. (Yay inflation!)  There was a mall on the hill that had Kaybee toys in it. Despite the fact that I was a teenager myself, I enjoyed the show a lot. And this lil asshole in green spandex was my fave. I loved green, I loved dragons, And Pretty boy mc fluffuly hair was kinda cute. So… yah He was my fave. So thinking not much of it I brought this lil fell as a model to help me learn to draw them. Fast forward to that fall. See my sister had gone off and gotten knocked up back when I was Ten.. Par for the course with people of my mom's religious persuasion. It is The DUTY of the younger family members to help when the older sibling has a baby. Especially when she comes home from whoring around out west, without a penny to her name. She came home with her demon spawn in her belly and my childhood effectively came to an end. For around six/seven years I had been putting up with it. My sister's child, though he claims he loves his auntie now, was EVIL. I have scars from where this lil asshole assaulted me.  Maybe I should forgive him but I refuse to forget. Specifically this incident. For some ungodly reason. My parents decided that weekend we were all going to spend time at the grandparents house out in the small town in eastern KY. I HATED it. I was basically Belle in that town. Girl with a brain stuck in a town that only values a woman on how many babies she can crank out and how fast. To this day they hate me because I, after finding out I was fucking sterile, chose degree's over children. Not even bothering to account that Children are an impossibility for me. Nope, being a pregasaurus rex is all that matters there. That is how your value as a woman is determined in that family. My dad's family wasn't as bad, due to my Grandpa Jim being very progressive and very education oriented. Honestly without my Grandpa Jim, I'd probably have gone stark raving mad when the occasion came to visit this town. BLEH. 

So this weekend.. because I wanted to work on some art and drawings. I shoved my lil green buddy there in my bag and took him with me so I could practice drawing his shield and stuff. So picture that.. Someone minding their own business .. with their own toy… not bothering anyone else and working on a drawing. Peaceful right? That peace was very quickly shattered. Noa, the demon seed of my sister had never noticed my lil green ranger toy there before. Sometimes he and I watched the show together when I was forced to babysit the lil shit. 

So he liked the show too. He spots my toy sitting on the table as I am drawing him and comes up. Promptly reaches up onto the table.. takes my figure and starts to make off with him. I Stop him, take Tommy back and tell him. "No kid, that's mine. You can't have it." "but I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant  it!!" I tell him no again and then pack up my drawing stuff and head up stairs to get some peace and quiet. It does not last long. I'm on my bed now drawing, and here comes my sister. "Did you take that toy from Noa!" She shouts.. pointing at the green ranger that I remind you, I paid for and was mine. "NO," I tell her flatly, "HE tried to take it from ME." "Well," She huffs, "GIVE IT TOO HIM." "No," I replied, "no, it's my toy and he can't have it. They sell them at Kaybees, when we get back to civilization just go get him one." "NO give it to him now!" She snarls, "You're too old for that anyway." "Well I don't care if I am too old for it," I shrug, "I paid for it, It's mine. If he wants one, buy him his own." I proceed to pick up the toy and shove it back into my bag. "You either give me that toy or You're gonna get it," She tells me. I ignore her and go back to my drawing. She storms off down the steps and not 10 minutes later I hear my mom standing at the bottom step, screeching like a fucking banshee.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!" At the top of her lungs, "GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW AND YOU BRING THAT BABY'S TOY WITH YOU!!" 

My dad is out with my Mom's father some place so I am aware that I am caught in there with all my female relatives on my mom's side of the family. Mom, Sister, Nanna, and Auntie. I know I will be ganged up on the moment I go down stairs. I make a point of leaving Tommy in my bag and head down so that the yelling can start. Start it does. For a good thirty minutes. Basically telling me what a selfish lil brat I am for not giving my nephew that toy. HOW horrid of a person I was for hogging the item that I PERSONALLY paid for and not giving it to him. I tell them he can't have it and promptly get slapped in the face by my mom. I am not the five nine amazon that I am now. I was a bitty lil 17 year old that was about two sauce packets tall. And my mom knew how to slap someone and make it hurt.  She slapped me so hard my nose tried to bleed. Then told me that IF I didn't go get the toy she was gonna slap me again. All of my female relatives backed her up. I told her NO.. Got slapped again and she went and got the toy out of my backpack herself. She then asked me if I was going to give it to Noa. I Once again told her no. So she told me in no uncertain terms that If Noa couldn't have the toy. Neither could I. She tossed my Green ranger into the trash. Had my Auntie bag it up in front of me and haul it out to the trash can. Eventually Dad came home and saw the red hand print and found out what had happened. Told my mom she had no right to make me share something I had paid for with my own money. Or simply take it from me because the demon seed wanted it. He went to get it but by then it was too late. The trash had been picked up and my green ranger was gone. He offered me the money to replace the toy but I told him no. The same thing would just continue to happen as long as Noa and my sister were around. Mom would take their side and the things I loved would keep dying. It was a long time before I ever saw that toy again. A year ago I saw one on hasbro and my darling husband asked me , without knowing the story actually, if I wanted it. This was because he knows my love of power rangers. He got me the reproduction and it sits on my desk  for the world to see. To pay him back this year I bought him the white one because that was his favorite. But he never had it taken away, just never got one. So yah.. Proof that my mom, sister , auntie and nana were fucking nuts. They destroyed my power ranger toy because I refused to give it to my nephew. Plain and simple.

[angelmartinez2022]

OK.. HOW far up his ass has  merrick got that fucking pool cue? SERIOUSLY!!

[angelmartinez2022]

What they mean to me..

I like rainbow high dolls. i have a lot.. This will update with time..  Violet Willow This pretty lil lady was my first rainbow high doll. The one that, with that pretty purple hair and sweet face broke through the, I refuse to buy these dolls wall. The moment I took her out of that box i realized how much i was gonna love these dolls. Her hair was amazing, her out fit so detailed. She reminded me why i loved dolls so much in the first place. She brought back that connection to my Gramma, as I sat there and thought about what Gram Mavis would have done if she could have had one of these dolls. I was HOPELESSLY HELPLESSLY hooked. Ruby Anderson She was the second doll to catch my fancy. I have always loved red, and shades of red. That pretty red hair of hers was what drew me in. Finding her on sale on amazon was a bonus. It made me want her that much more when i saw she was on sale. Contrary to popular belief in my family, No one GIVES me the money for these things. I get out there and bust my butt, working even when i am sick sometimes, when i should be home in bed to  make the ends meet. When those ends do meet and i have a lil left over, its nice to indulge in something sweet and innocent as these lil dolls. That’s what ruby means to me when i look at her, I made the ends meet for another week and she was my lil reward. Poppy Rowan She was the one i waffled on, i stared at the screen and tried to convince my self is it ok to get her? Will i be able to afford her? She is the one i held off on the longest, saving money  lil bit here, and there to make sure I had enough that Buying at 25+ dollar doll was not gonna  put a dent in my finances. It made me happy when i added that last five bucks to my amazon gift account and ordered her. Like ruby pop’s is a doll that shows not only can i make the ends meet but that I know how to scrimp and save to get what I want with out hurting my self, or anyone else.

 Sunny Madison Yah this chickie was a real wild card, yet again a purchase on the ama of zons because i saw her on sale. I dont care if the box has a scuff. It was 10.00 off. I really didnt care much for her until i got her into my hands. OOOOOO BOY… never get them into your hands if you are waffling . That is the most sure fire way to loose the battle. The moment i looked into those sweet lil eyes of hers, I knew i was lost. I had to keep her and i loved her. She’s the one that I didnt expect to love but wound up cherishing. 

Jade Hunter Well folks.. This lil  lady was the one that I DIDNT want.. I have never been much a fan of green. (Unless your tommy oliver..back off man hes awesome) It’s one of those colors that i can take or leave. So i was on the fence about her for a long time. Eventually i had a lil extra cash.. And she was the last one i needed in the group. Much like sunny, once i had miss jade in my hands she stole my heart. There is something so sweet about her face. I’m not sure what it is, maybe its just her personality from the show as well. This is why i HAD to have winter break jade too!

Skyler Bradshaw Well this lil lady is a fun case. I have been at my current place of employment for a while. About three years. On regular basis they like to hand out 100.00 gift cards for I dunno reasons?  Well i had one that I had used for some groceries, but i had about 40.00 left on. Skyler and one of the hair mazing prom perfect dolls became my purchases with that left over fourty. She is just such a gentle soul when i look at her. I love the colors of her hair and the look of her clothing. And Everytime i look at her i will remember that silly gift card and how she was a reward from work. 

Amaya Raine I got the second version of this lovely girl first. I actually wound up with two of her because I wanted one for her cheer out fit and one for her every day look. Also she was ten bucks on amazon, so i found the second one just irresistible. She is indeed as lovely in person as she is in the cartoon. I love her sweet personality and demeanor, she is a lil cringy and awkward but i love her none the less. She reminds me of my self a lot. I was the awkward lil kid in high school and so i can totally feel that. Plus the rainbow thing, any other meanings aside i have always loved rainbows. They were always a symbol of hope to me, and looking at her just makes me feel hopeful ya know?

Ok whos next??? Ooooo… Bella Parker This lil lady was the one that I had a tiff over with a mom in the local target. I rare day that I was working first shift, and I got off early enough to go get her. Besides being one of the only ones i paid full price for, yah i wanted her THAT badly. I LOVE PINK. She was the one of the two that got a mom pissed off at me.  I went over to the home of  yea old bullseye and pulled this lovely lil lady off the shelf. Turned and found a woman with a “karen” hair cut glaring down her nose at me. I Looked at her, blinked and then asked her what her fucking problem was. Yah sorry lady, not on the clock, NOT being paid 14.00 and hour to be nice to you. I’m gonna swear at you if you piss me off. She went on a tirade about how awful it was for a grown woman to be getting dolls, and it was just shameful. I told her to go fuck her self and breezed past her and went to pay for my lil pink beauty.

[angelmartinez2022]

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

[angelmartinez2022]