#even though he wasnt so he wanted to do something to change that. idk. stuff like that wouldnt bother him but it would get annoying

[autoboros]

i remember you mentioned something about Kim's spikes being fleshy but could he in theory make them sharp in some way? do they have any function outside of looking really freaking cool? also i would love to see what Kim's swim form looks like but i understand if that's extra work and you don't want to do that at the moment

Hmm... in actual vampire squids, their cirri (the spikes) are soft and fleshy, I don't think they can make them sharp or anything. They do use them when threatened by basically inverting their arms over their bodies so the spikes are on top (like what Kim has done) to look scary, but they aren't actually used physically as far as I know. But ignoring real life cirri, maybe his spikes could get stiff if he gets really tense

As for his swim form - given that he can't produce ink, I'm not sure how it'd exactly work. Buuut, just because it's fun, I gave him one anyway. I think he'd probably feel leathery due to the lack of ink coating his body

[hisaame]

hi hi! Could you do a Scaramouche x fem!reader with angst to comfort? Specifically with reader having issues on how they view their body?? ((Like their insecure)) preferably modern au plss

first time writing on request yippie!! hii and ty, i hope this is what you've asked for!! <3 also im stillll new to writing and stuff, so im praying im good for now!

╰』ˋˋ"What do you mean you aren't pretty?" «

ˎˋ╰⪼Scaramouche x fem!reader ˎˋ

[angst with comfort] — modern au,,,

『warnings: body negativity, cursing, body touch, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader being like half naked (NO SPICY STUFF THO), idk what else to add im not good at warnings.... 』

— Scaramouche simply couldnt understand.

How could you, a pretty girl with the body of a goddess, possibly think you look less than he thinks?

It was in the afternoon, you had invited Scaramouche to come over to your dorm, since it was the weekends and you had no subject to study, you finished two exams last week. So you wanted to have a nice day off, where your lover would be there.

But before that you decided to take a shower, u have already been outside with your friends Hu Tao and Yanfei, spending time with them since they were from another school.

You hated your bathroom. Why? Because the mirror there was huge.

Slowly taking off your clothes, its almost impossible to ignore your reflection. Its there no matter where you turn—seriously, its like they made the dorms' bathrooms like this on purpose, just to make you feel even worse about yourself as if before wasnt already enough.

You cringe at yourself once you took off your clothes. You should hurry up in the shower—but something made you stay in front of the mirror, criticizing yourself with your own thoughts. Turning a bit to the side to look at other various parts of your body, finding nothing decent or enough for yourself. You sighed, you should be positive right now, school isnt in the way and you should be relaxing.

With a glare at your own reflection, before getting into the shower quickly, turning on some warm water. Showers should be relaxing, but as you washed your body, using soap, making there be various white bubbles on your skin, they smell quite nice, and are certainly fun to play with.

But the feeling of your own hands on your body distracted you. The way you felt under your own touch, it somewhat... Disgusts you.

Finally—once you were done with showering, taking a towel and wrapping it around your body, shivering as the cool air hit against your wet skin. You dried off your hair, brushed it out, trying not to stare at the mirror too much. Maybe you're just too judgemental. Maybe you're not as bad as you think?

After you were done with your hair—you must not have noticed, but there was a sudden knock at your bathroom door. Then it opened up to reveal Scaramouche. Well, he peeked through it first to check was he invading any privacy.

"Damn, this was the last place i was gonna check. I came here like five minutes ago." Scaramouche sighed in relief to seeing you, not at all bothered by the fact you're only in a towel. He pressed a kiss to your lips as a greeting, ruffling your half dry hair.

Though, you looked uncomfortable. Not with the fact your lover had come into the bathroom while you were in just a towel, but the fact your body was pretty exposed to him, and you thought, what id he judged you? Maybe not out loud, but what if he was thinking about it?

Noticing your discomfort, Scaramouches eyes widened for a split second at his realization, then spoke up, "i can leave if you want—to wait for u to get changed." , he gave you a half smile. But you told him its alright. Why? You wanna just push him away.

At your answer, he smiled softly, nodding. Maybe you just needed him here, after a hard week. What he thought was different than what you thought. Seeing this as a nice opportunity, he went behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, his chin on your shoulder as he gave you a goofy, lazy smirk, looking at the mirror where you two can be seen. Maybe you should've kicked him out...

"You always look so pretty after showering—like all clean, pretty, and u smell nice." Scaramouche mumbled, as if shy to admit. "wait i said pretty twice. Replace one of those words with 'gorgeous' then." You couldn't tell if he was flirting with you or genuinely fucked up with his words.

But the way you looked at him with almost surprise at what he said, his eyebrow raised as his expression changed.

"Why do you look like i fucking said i discovered the moon and flew to mars? Dont you know youre pretty?" He said, his usual personality showing. He doesnt exactly like being all mushy, but for you, he's a sucker. So he's nicer...

Maybe it was finally time to admit it. He was your lover anyway, and you trusted him. You nodded slowly, then immediately looked away, regretting what you just did. That... Shocked Scaramouche! You, not pretty? Were you high!?

".. Huh? Did someone tell you you're not pretty? Ill fuck them up. Who was it?" He narrowed his eyes, his embrace around your waist tightening. His protective side definitely was showing. But once he didnt get a reply, seeing the way you frowned and refuses to look at the mirror, he realized the situation.

"... [y/n]? Dont tell me you tell yourself that..." Scaramouche sighed. Figuring you werent comfortable with the mirror, he turned you around, so you can face him again. You even thought he was prettier than you will ever be. Well, he's here to prove you're better than you think!

"[y/n]. I know i dont say this a lot, but you're gorgeous to me. God, these words sound so cliche.. But its true. You're the most gorgeous, pretty, beautiful—fuck, what else—cute, adorable girl i have ever met. Okay?" Scaramouche stared into your eyes. He definitely wasnt the best at comfort, but he wants to try his best—for you.

Then he softly smiled at you. "Hey, lets get you dressed up and we can talk about how magnificent you really are?", he kissed your nose, hos face flushing immediately right after as he lead you out of the bathroom, talking to you along the way.

"You may have your flaws and all that, but thats what makes you, you. You know? I like your flaws." Scaramouche admitted, blushing like an idiot when he looked away once he told you what he thought.

Soon enough, you were dressed, dragged to bed by Scaramouche who quite literally forced you to be the little spoon this time. You could barely hear the tv over him talking about how pretty he thinks you are.

Yeah, if anyone even dared to even joke about you being 'ugly', he's getting suspended because of reasons you know what happens.

♡

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you do A, C, I, G, K, L, and P for EJ in the fluff alphabet? It would make me reallyyyy happy :3

Fluff Alphabet w/ EJ!!

ive been waiting for someone to do EJ you dont understand!!! i saw this earlier but the power went out when i finally had time to sit down and get to writing </3 my apologies as for other stuff/for everyone else, requests are still open, and the fluff alphabet will be open indefinitely!!

ATTRACTION- Honestly I think you gotta be a real catch to end up as Jacks partner, considering his entire hermit thing... I personally think that he separates himself from society after he becomes Eyeless Jack via a funky cult sacrifice thing... which he was kinda pretty much unwillingly roped into. I think he would want someone who's capable of taking care of themselves, and perhaps someone whos smart. maybe even lower maintenance. its not that he doesnt want to treat you as you deserve, its that sometimes he cant given he sometimes legitimately goes feral (though this is only really due to him pushing off his needs, blood frenzy type deal for when he pushes off eating people, can get real ugly). understanding as well, he needs someone whos willing to be understanding of his position and current predicament and know that eventually jack is going to fully not. be there anymore one day (possible angst idea? ooo?) but also even before the whole, demon thing, jack wasnt the most cheery or social and things definitely havent changed

CUDDLING- hes really cold so thats good for hot nights! not good for cold ones though </3 but hey maybe you guys are somewhere where its perpetually hot. as for the actual act of cuddling, he prefers to be the big spoon. likes sleeping closer to the door, kinda makes a barrier of himself for you in case someone were to come in. which is unlikely since if this were his place, its literally a cabin in the woods in bumfuck nowhere, but the point still stands. only engages if youre asleep or ask for it. if youre the one holding him, he kinda. freezes still and doesnt dare move. poor dude, hes so scared hes going to bite you or something

GIFT GIVING- since he lives in the woods and doesnt have a job he cant exactly go out and give you gifts. he also isnt fond of taking belongings from victims, since he already takes pieces of their bodies. coughs. anyways, i think hes more of an act of service person (will talk more about that in L)

INJURY- youre in luck, he had plans to be a doctor, thats what he was going to college for! plus i think he had a little fixation on medical stuff in general growing up. little hc that his other choice was to be a microbilogist. idk, i can see it. but i dont think it needs to be said that neither became reality. but he does know how to treat some injuries and illnesses! so youre both in luck! but how does he react, emotionally? honestly, as long as youre not bleeding while hes in his frenzied state hes more than willing to help you... although its more so because he doesnt want the scent to trigger anything in him... he cares about you, i promise! its just that ultimately its better he doesnt go feral on you- now if he was the one injured hes already patching himself up... oh but imagine convincing him to let you clean up a wound he got while trying to do his thing.... ouuuugh... let the man be vulnerable, let him be taken care of... ueueue... anyways- yeah

KISSES- he doesnt wear his mask when hes at your place or his cabin- in fact he only really wears it when hes 'hunting' or 'prowling', so!! loves kissing your cheek. will absolutely refuse to kiss you if hes just ate, though, let him wash his face and brush his teeth first. and change his clothes. he likes being kissed anywhere; forehead, mouth, cheeks, hands, ect ect ect. now in terms of frequency i dont think he likes it too often, but that may be some internalized thing about no longer being worthy of love or something but hey who am i to say (loudly winks)

LOVE LANGUAGE- as previously mentioned, acts of service is how jack shows his appreciation and love for you. need something done? hes on it! need to do some chores but dont feel like it? you dont even need to ask! stuff like that, hell, even if something doesnt need to be done he will probably tinker at it and try to make it better if its an appliance or something that can be upgraded to be more efficient and effective. when it comes to receiving he likes words of affirmation, this man has been through hell and hes still going through it, so reassuring him that you still love him even though hes changing makes things a little less scary

PET NAMES- he likes calling you babe and baby. he likes being called hon! doesnt really do petnames, he finds saying someones name intimate enough... which honestly i kinda agree with, i kinda hate how utilized it is in romantic media. just two characters loving each other, sharing a moment, and one softly utters the others name in a sweet tone. GUH!!!! anyway

[fictionfixations]

Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)

Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)

(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)

imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA

and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)

and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.

i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)

we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')

(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!

HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)

AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)

maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc

but like COME ON.

the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)

ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance

also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.

..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.

anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh

okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')

"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)

we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic

we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?

he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)

heres the book 5 one btw

"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)

And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?

So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why

or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)

like. okay back in book 5

"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"

"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)

He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then

which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.

this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment

AGHHh

nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother

"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)

who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him

like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.

and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)

but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.

"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)

also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)

and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."

like. COME ON.

Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."

and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?

AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw

he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.

i got a lot more worked up than i meant to

[xaeydnquartz]

Part of me kinda wants to stop DMing my first and current campaign? IDK just need to vent

So, brief expo. like many, got into CR during the pandemic (mainly due to "The Legend of Vox Machina" which lead to me actually bingeing the all 3 campaigns) During which time a friend (who was in my immediate friend group but like the rest of my friend group, i didnt really feel close to) told me that he was really into CR as well. As a fresh new critter, i was stoked. Was able to share my blossoming love of CR with someone (FINALLY!) during which we both mentioned how D&D looked so much fun and that it would be really great to be able to play and ooo what if we got our friends together and played.

After which we discussed, if we did, who would be DM? Seeing as how none of our friends really played D&D our talk lead to either my friend or me and after asking the question "Which do you think you would prefer more?" It was clear i would try my hand at DMing (i like lore in games, and i like storytelling, and im a tad bit of a control freak at times, lol)

Anyway, we eventually got in touch with our close knit of friends, and though i intended to be a standard 6 we suddenly had an 8 party party (and that was with me having to tell even less close friends there wasnt room).

Feeling it would still be manageable (as there was precedent that i could pull inspo from, CR) i began planning a rough idea of a campaign and working with my friends to create their characters and running a session 0 so we were all on the same page. You know standard stuff.

-Fast Forward to current date and time-

It has its stressful moments, but i still am able to enjoy the time with my friends for the most part (though theres a lot of times were ive never felt lonelier) Which brings me to the whole point of the post, my need to vent to the void about this loneliness. Nobody really gets in touch or interacts with me at all. Not to talk about the campaign or even collab on their characters. The most i get are occasional critiques about how i could have done something better couple sessions prior and request to add another person to the 8 person party. When we have sessions, people show up late quite often, leave early quite often, have to cancel as they have other things they are doing (even though we planned and scheduled weeks prior) and even when people are there they somtimes feel like they arent always present. i already feel extremely distant from all of them as they all live closer to each other while i live on the totally opposite side of the state and theyve known each other way longer than i have, but the minimal interactions they have with me, the DM/GM of all people, just continues to add to all of it I know we all are busy with our lives, and that compared to those things D&D is really not that big of a deal or important. And i get that, it is just a game afterall, but it still manages to hit pretty hard

I've communicated my feelings through our time of this campaign, if im being honest, maybe not this indepth. I mean, its partially because i barely see or talk to them (again life gets in the way) but also because i feel extremely guilty for putting this kind of tension to something we are all supposed to be enjoying and relaxing to. Its especially painful as most recently 2 players, who said they would get in touch with me about changes possibly being being made to their characters, never got in touch in anyway shape or form, and its been about a month now? And session is in a week...i didnt even get much as a reply back. Idk, its been almost about a year now and i felt i just needed to get this out somewhere other than debating myself.

Thanks for listening tumblr.

[dandyshucks]

realizing i wanted to ask - how did u first fall in love w/ guzma (irl) ? :o (@dmclr)

ougghh (/happy) Clara you always ask such good questions omg 🫶

umm... okay so. i should give a general "abuse CW" label i guess fjfkdl but I'll keep it vague and to a minimum of mention! also putting it below the cut because I RAMBLED SO MUCH, SORRY IN ADVANCE

tumblr kind of went crazy for the guy when the anime finally introduced him in 2019 (it took SO long to get to him, over 100 episodes in the su/mo arc 😭) and at first i didnt think much of him rly, but then somehow eventually (a few months later) i found out through osmosis that he's got trauma going on and my ears kind of perked up a bit LOL

(underwater just to set it apart from the rest of the post so it doesnt blend in and get confusing fndkdl) screenshot of the post i rbed where i first mentioned liking him fdsjkl

around the same time, i was having some realizations about my own experiences with childhood and family etc, and there was some other stuff going on in my life (also. the plague started so uh. that too.) that was just kind of culminating in like. A Lot of stress and fear and stuff. so seeing this character who has experienced somewhat similar things was ... comforting in a way? shared experience or something, idk. plus I've always been a sucker for misfit archetype characters, especially if they make a little family out of other misfits :')

another big part of the intrigue (because my crushes always start with a sort of 👀 phase fdsjkl, I have to think somebody is interesting in some way and want to find out More about them, and then feelings develop from there) for me was just the fact that he was Angry. like... the way I've personally learned to deal w abuse has been to always be meek and fawn. so seeing someone who went in the opposite direction, to become angry and strong and defiant instead, was SO fascinating to me and I was very curious to learn more about him.

so I looked into him more, loved what i found, related to him a bit, accidentally by some random occurrence stumbled upon some bf audios of him somehow??, wished he were real so we could hang out, thought about how I'd act around him and started to feel a little flustered about it ... it's all downhill from there once u reach that point smh 😔😔 (/silly)

for a long time i didn't really fully step into s.elfship territory w him - i dabbled a little but he wasnt The Focus™ in my brain yet. also we (as a system) have had a host change since then, so there was a previous juno that was not Me (even though we kept the same main name between us two parts), and they didn't like the guy as much as Current Me does djfkdl - theres also some ... relatively significant personality differences between the two versions of Juno, so I think Juno2.0 (me) meshes with him a lot better now than Juno1.0 did in 2020/2021

and then last year, i found and joined the s.elfship community and um. I absolutely did not mean for him to become The Main Guy and never would've guessed he would be, but... well,, we dont always plan things i suppose, feelings just happen 😭

anyways. it maybe seems kind of messed up but his ~tragic backstory~ is what drew me in initially bc it helped me feel less alone and scared when i was Going Through some pretty major shit lol. and then after that, i just kind of took the character base that pkmn had in place and ran with it to build on it and sort of make my own version of him that I could be friends with and eventually fell in love with ^^;;

TL;DR it was a mix of timing, similar history of abuse, intrigue bc of our opposite reactions to the abuse, and um... the way he is like,, strong and builds a safe place for other young ppl who feel unsafe or not accepted in general society fdsjkl

i get embarrassed talking abt it bc ppl seem to really hate it when abuse victims are weak in any way and need help, but ... i do really like that he is strong in some ways and would be able to give me a sort of safe place to let my guard down and receive help and care (as shown by the way he provides a safe place for the grunts, all the misfits and outcasts of Alola) ^^;;;; honestly kind of a Big part of it for me (and for pretty much all my s.elfship dynamics) is that he is able to protect me and care for me, because I have not like. experienced that ever. at least not properly. when your parents are the ones being abusive, you not only do not experience protection and care but you're also being actively hurt in some way by the people who are supposed to keep you safe. so to be freely given care and safety is kind of crazyyyy to me LOL, that is something i like a lot about him :')

OKAY RAMBLE OVER. i really tried to keep this as short as i could but,, brevity is not a strength of mine (esp when it comes to him) LOL. THANK YOU for the question !!! its fun to look back at how it all happened tbh :]

[wiihtigo]

CASEY NATION RISE 7, 9, 17, 20, 23, 25

ask game

7. What’s one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

i used to think that she didnt care much about the art of actually acting and cinema and stuff and for her it was more about just being famous and it didnt matter how. i think that was partially because although i knew i wanted her to lust for fame and money the acting dream was kind of just randomly decided on. i thought i could easily swap it out with modelling or singing or something and it wouldnt make much difference. but the more time ive spent with casey, the more i see her as a true lover of movies and art....which i think leads in well to her endgame job being a script editor rather than an actor. her true talents lie behind the screen even if she herself doesnt see it...

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

whats a girl to do - cristina

a post canon (after nell dies) caseys life anthem:)

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

well i was going to blame it entirely on you that nell dies and i had no say in that but i suppose i did come up with her emotional reaction to that myself, which causes me a lot of slow damage pain. SO I GUESS THAT..the fact she pushes michelle away after it happens is really depressing to me because thats literally her only friend left and only possible pillar of support, but she pushes her away because she hates everything and shes mad shes not nell and shes mad at her family and wants to explode. I think she'd be marginally less suicidal if she stayed friends with her.....

I guess also pulling from alternate realities the one where she dies is pretty fucked up. and very painful. and nell doesnt even make it to her to cradle her in her arms. SAD

20. Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

yyessss. at least when he and nell start getting lowkey. no. highkey #serious. early in their setup he wouldnt gaf if nell was married to a businesswoman in russia.but when they start ummmm [redacted] then hes like waittt. lol waittttttt lol wait. lol. WAITTT. gets a little annoyed when theyre at the doom patrol warehouse party and jayna from the wonder twins tries to get ladybugs number. THATS MY BODYGUARD..GET YOUR OWN. it manifests in that he'll get clingy to nell and mean and passive aggressive (or just aggressive) towards the person pissing him off. will be petty and spiteful (sees some poor scared nervous young lesbian trying to say hi to nell so he slides in and nuzzles up to her shoulder in public to let that sstupid kid know to go away)

idk why he does this. if you asked him if he liked nell he would say And what has she done to MAKE me like her

23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

lol GRIEF. little casey has never experienced a death before nell! not even a pet death. she has no idea how to process those feelings or cope with them in the slightest. she goes like catatonic immediately after the fact bcuz shes so completely shocked and wasnt prepared for it at all (lowkey thought ladybug was too awesomeand strong to ever get got. stupidd)

on the complete flip side, also .....l-l-l-l-l-l-l--l-l-l-l-l-l...LOVE. or at least feeling a smidge of serious romantic attraction to someone. in canon end she never gets to deal with that bcuz she only realizes it after nell died and then promptly buried everything related to nell deep inside a hole. but in nyc nell simply has an epic near death experience where hes hospitalized and thats when casey is like fuuuuuuuuuck that scared me. DO I LIKE HER? she acts a bit pathetic and tsundere abt it which is endearing to me personally. maybe scares nell a bit. its cute to me though <3

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

shes not a good person </3 shes selfish and mean and doesnt care about other people </3 bent on revenge and hating </3 genuinely not a good guy </3 i love everything negative about casey the most

i also think secretary characters are sexy.

[blackheart-6]

dess-ember day 31/31

hi yall

today i bring my final entry!! i cant believe i made it

its a dess ref, but after the events of deltarune, where i imagine she will be freed

fun fact, i actually made the dess ref i still use exactly a year ago, so thats neat ^^

im not sure if I will keep this design for her being older (the age i usually draw her as is like 15 or 16), but i feel like it turned out okay

i made her a researcher (she researches things to do with souls and magic, things that exist in deltarune but arent really known about in my headcanons), but im unsure if it was the right choice. i imagine she got stuck with gaster in the code for a couple of years, but before that she didnt know what she wanted to do with her life. the way I see it, the gaster in the code with her is the one from undertale, so he has a lot of knowledge on magic and stuff, and learning about it was interesting and helpful for her, and after she got out she wanted to share her knowledge and learn more.

as i said, i dont know if this was a good choice of career, considering she wasnt really the type to become a researcher, but she also changed when she was in the code, so idk. i might change it later.

and for her design, i tried to keep her unruly look as much as possible, despite her job. i changed her hairstyle, keeping it short but giving her a side part and little hair pieces in front of her ears.

i also gave her glasses. i imagine shes needed them for awhile, but she didnt want to look like a nerd 😂 now shes just accepted her fate. i also gave her piercings on her ears, just as a callback to some of my older drawings of her, where i gave her piercings there too.

for her outfit, i gave her a pair of basic dress pants, and a turtleneck (because i love turtlenecks a bit too much lol). and then i gave her a green jacket/coat thing, cause i had to keep her with green, ofc.

and for accessories, i gave her a watch (to match with noelles watch), and i gave her a bracelet with noelles sweater colors. i also gave her a white ring on her left hand, because when i looked it up that was where aro rings were (i hope thats accurate lol).

and thats it, my final entry! its so weird that im here, i didnt think i would make it. i thought id get bored, or too busy, or run out of ideas or something, but i made it. there was a lot of struggle sometimes, and there was ideas i had planned that i never got to, but i feel like it really helped me, having this month. ive definitely gotten better at drawing dess, and i feel like my anatomy and posing had gotten better ^^. though, i dont know if ill do this again. it was difficult, and next year ill be in college, so i might be too busy. i guess we will just wait and see 😁

during this month, ive also thought a lot about dess in general. i have so many thoughts and ideas involving her, yet we still have such little knowledge on her. its weird, i have this whole dess created, but one day she will become obsolete, and we will see who dess actually is. i dont know how to feel about it. but, until we actually see dess, i plan to keep drawing my dess, and i might keep drawing her after we see dess, it just depends. even if im nervous to see her, i cant wait either!

but thats enough of my ramblings, im sure nobody read all that, so for a tldr, i just talked about why i designed older dess like that, my thoughts on my dess-ember, and my thoughts on dess ^^

i hope yall have a wonderful new years!! 🥳🥳

[yourmoonmomma]

Hi!

I’ll definitely consider changing therapists! thank you for the suggestion. I’ll give it another session to see how I feel and then look elsewhere if needed.

Therapy is strange..Idk I’ve always been comfortable with my emotions (it took a lot of internal work during my younger years). But, when it comes to therapy, I struggle to get words out and I’m really panicky. I’m not sure if this is because every time I would show emotions with my ex he’d tell me I was living in my head or just bringing up the past? I cried so much during the relationship when he would get really distant, and I just remember him just watching me. No words, nothing. He would say it killed him inside but idk actions will always be more valuable than words.

Continuing on from that point. Lately I’ve been feeling like it was all my fault, that I was the one who treated him badly. Every time we’d argue it was always because I bought something up and we’d go in this cycle. But he was a good guy, kind, loyal, and I think he tried. This ofc, just makes me feel like trash because maybe I didn’t appreciate him? I see things on social media like “if your ex did any of these things you deserve better” and it’s stuff like cheating, following other girls on socials, name calling etc. He didn’t do those things, we struggled on the emotional side of things..Did I ruin something good? The guilt consumes me a lot. Even when it ended he told me I was asking for too much and his family was more important. I still don’t know what I asked for other than to have more than one date a month and consistent communication..

I keep asking everyone if it was my fault, truthfully I feel like I ruined it all. I replay the day before the breakup where I knew from his eyes that the love wasnt there but he still said he loved me. It really haunts me. I’ve been asking a mutual friend of ours to let him know that I want a final conversation where I can admit my faults and guilt. This friend said he won’t do that because I was treated badly, and i need to hold my self respect. Deep down I know I was horrible, no one seems to believe me.

Bleh sorry for the rambling, I should ask though, how have you been? I hope you’re taking care of yourself and staying hydrated! -🐼

Hi lovely!

I'm glad to hear you're open to doing that <33 I've seen probably close to 10 therapists in my life, and of those 10, only 2 (one of which is my current therapist) was the perfect match for what I needed. It can be discouraging sometimes, going through so many, but when you find the one that fits your needs, it's worth it!

Actions ARE more valuable than words, and I'm sorry he didn't respond better to your emotions :( You can always say that to a therapist though! Something like "sorry, I just need a few moments to gather my thoughts, I'm feeling something, but I'm scared of saying it/unsure of how to say it/can't name the feeling". You're allowed to sit there with your feelings until you can express them!

Just because someone tries doesn't mean they were right for you. They don't have to cheat to still not be the person you should be with. If it was good, it wouldn't have ended. I understand that guilt or fear or worry, but there will be a better person that comes along for you, I'm sure of it. You are NOT asking for too much by asking for more communication or more dates. You just need to find someone who also wants those things, or is willing to provide you with those things. That is not too much to ask, especially from the right person.

I don't believe you were horrible, but I am sorry you feel that way. If you were, it's important to know it takes two people to end a relationship, in most cases. It sounds like you were willing to work on things, if he was willing to work with you, and he wasn't. No matter who is "horrible" that's all it comes down to. Faults or not, a good thing or not, he wasn't willing to continue working on the relationship.

Don't be sorry for rambling, that's what I'm here for <333 I've been okay though! Jayson surprised me with a new phone after I smashed mine, so I'm very happy about that :3 Been eating way too much it feels like lately, especially for how broke we are lol, but it's been nice to cook & eat food. I hope, despite everything, you're taking care of yourself too <3

[theclampdown]

dump of scattered lad:iw thoughts because i have. a lot to say about the game. i have not proofread this at all. these r just my opinions please don't me mad at me lol

[IT WAS NOT GOOD]

im able to put up with a lot of stupid bullshit in media i like so its pretty impressive that this game pushed me to my limit in what im willing to let slide lmao

i do wanna say that i actually really did enjoy playing it though, i think it smoothed out a lot of what i found annoying about 7 (mostly the leveling system and skill jumps and stuff) and added a lot of new content. i did like the new map and i thought they did a pretty good job making it feel different than the other areas of the game. the battles felt very fun and were challenging but didnt ever really feel like a slog for me which is usually my biggest gripe with games that involve leveling like this but i had a good time! loved his fucking scooter. to be quite honest.

enjoyed the drink links and party chats and party bingo and stuff they were very silly but it was enjoyable! did really like the party members overall but ill talk on that in a sec

also ill say it ran much better on my shitty laptop than most of the recent games have which is definitely a bonus. my graphics for rgg7 were so fucking awful but i didnt have to change a single default setting for this one so idk i guess the only plusses for this one is that the gameplay rocked and they optimized their shit a lot better. like it genuinely was enjoyable to play

unfortunately the story was just dumb. i cant even say it sucked shit it just felt stupid.

the initial premise wasnt even bad tbh. ichiban and co get fucked over due to ~society~ or whatever and perceptions of ex-cons and such, coinciding with ichiban seeking out his mother since her identity was left pretty open ended in the last game. like not bad at all imo. idk how they fumbled it that bad. Actually i do know how. they just overshot it too much. they could have just kept it to something related to that like with the seiryu clan and ebina/hikawa whatever. that could have been interesting! unfortunately the tie in with whatever palekana was doing just turned the story in a completely other direction in a way that just didnt make sense? i just found that whole part of the plot shallow and difficult to suspend my disbelief about. and this is the same series that had the whole baseball betting and idol concert as a serious plot point in the 5th game so maybe my standards are too high but idk that actually felt meaningful even if it was stupid and silly. this just didnt make sense and felt too overblown. i think in general my problem with the series as of late is that its conflicts reach Too High and are Too Grand and concern world governments and massive schemes and shit in a way that takes away from anything actually interesting thematically.

in terms of character i actually did quite like tomizawa and chitose and i think they were good additions and balanced well with existing characters. at the same time though i feel like the game kind of forced their friendships with ichiban too early and it made it feel kind of flat. i also feel they lost the plot with tomizawa a tad as to Why he was even sticking with ichiban at a certain point (ie what stakes he had in the conflict after he got what he wanted out of dwight). but i did like him. i thought the rest of the party members from the last game all factored in pretty well otherwise and i VERY much enjoyed having seonhee as a party member this time she rocked and i think they made the right choice including her. And also her being bisexual?

sorry quick seonhee break. anyway. my beef with characterization otherwise was like 80% with kiryu. Personally i believe his ass shouldnt have been in any of the games after the 5th game at least because im a hater. if they were gonna kill him off to retire they shuold have let him retire in the 6th game and not come back. Okay fine they had to give him his stupid cameo in 7 but that was supposed to be him 'passing the torch' to ichiban and then he could go fuck off again. THERE WAS NO REASON FOR HIM TO BE A CENTRAL PLAYABLE PROTAGONIST IN ANOTHER GAME. LIKE EVER. GAIDEN ASIDE. THEYRE DRAGGING THIS MANS CORPSE AROUND THEY'RE WEEKEND AT BERNIES'ING HIM. on the one hand i was nostalgia baited by them intentionally making parallels to rgg1 and also the whole memoirs thing unfortunately because i see 1 mention of haruka and lose my mind. but if they were gonna make intentional parallels wrt lani and haruka then they should have put their whole pussies into it and leaned into it and explored it bc as it was it just felt shallow. the cancer thing was okay ig they did explore like why he was refusing treatment so much and him seemingly accepting his death while everyone around him was trying to drag him out of it but idk. it was just okay to me. but just with kiryu being there in general it was just so annoying because i specifically just want him to fucking retire. i dont care about him. every game for the past 4 games has made it out to be kiryus last and they keep bringing him back and its just tiring. i dont careeeee. will say takaya kuroda did another phenomenal job voicing him though. and the black shirt black slacks and belt was doing somehting for me. Who said that.

on the topic of lani and also akane i wish they would have explored that more since akane is half the premise as to why ichiban is stateside and they insisted on the paralel with haruka for lani. like i just felt like they got very little screentime when they were arguably pretty plot central characters. like why did they get less dialogue than like fucking yamai. i wish they would have explored akane and ichiban more specifically though that one cutscene of them actually talking was really sweet

SPEAKING OF YAMAI. in a vacuum i honestly did like him he was kind of funny and i respect him for his taste in women and his weird little ragtag syndicate. i feel like hes nishitani part 2 if nishitani was in literally any way enjoyable or likeable and not a piece of shit (wasnt there a nishitani in gaiden or something?) but i cant explain my thinking often. but the treatment of yamai and his syndicate vs wong tou and the ganzhe vs dwight and the barracudas jsut stood out to me as. particularly not good? yamai and co as the japanese group were portrayed as very sympathetic and were fully humanized and fleshed out. wong tou was characterized decently well i think and was given a point of sympathy with his son and like literally everyone betraying him. but was also killed pretty quickly and the ganzhe otherwise were portrayed as just being infallibly loyal to bryce. and the barracudas and dwight were portrayed with no nuance whatsoever and were arguably seen as the most violent of the three organizations. which tbh i think definitely has something to do with the barracudas being largely Black and brown otherwise (its noted in narration that they consisted of all nationalities and ethnicities but in practice in the game most of their models seemed to be men of color). because rgg studios has shown its ass time and time again to be generally racist and colorist and nationalist. that really stuck out to me throughout the game tbh

i dont want to speak on this as much just because i dont want to talk out of my ass but it also gave me a bad taste in my mouth that the big evil cult palekana utilized indigenous hawaiian religion and language but was also run by a white guy. also was not a fan of some of the job options such as 'fetishized depiction of a hula dancer that resulted from american tourism and imperialism' and such. was just not good.

side note i just thought the whole palekana brainwashing cult deal was stupid it was just dumb. not in a fun way. maybe thats just me being a hater but it was just STUPID and far fetched. it was like the part in rgg5 (sorry to always bring up rgg5 but actually im not sorry because it was a good game) where it revealed that there never was a nagoya family and everyone was fucking with shinada specifically. which was silly then but this was just worse. it didnt really make bryce any more formidable or hateable as a protagonist it just fell short in any of their efforts to make it believable and to raise the stakes in my humble opinion.

the daigo and saejima and majima tie in was also jsut kind of stupid. I just cannot believe they would have ended up in a fishing shack like that. Saejima definitely i would see him fucking off somewhere like that. but i just dont see how daigo or majima would end up there man it just doesnt make sense. i thought their goodbye in rgg7 was kind of dumb and if the game leaned more into the struggles of being an ex yakuza or ex con trying to reintegrate into a society that wants nothing to do with that, maybe their story could have been more interesting! unfortunately the game went another direction and their inclusion felt stupif and it just felt bastardizing of these characters that have also kind of been weekend at bernies'd for the last few games. I just cant see daigo being there. Daigo wheres your fucking mom. Can you call her. She misses you. Shave that ugly beard. Just leave the damn country at that point all of you.

this is not a problem unique to this game but i hate how allergic they are to making these characters look their age. i appreciated that they made kiryus hair gray but his haircut was stupid though tbh he looked quite nice when he put it back up at the end and looked probably closer to his actual age. saejima and daigo were pretty okay. WHY IS MAJIMA ALWAYS SO DAMN SMOOTH i know hes been doing like coke since the 80s he literally should not be looking like that. actually did love the part where they were support party members in the finale sequence though it was just really fun. but they shuoldnt have been there at all. All of you go retire.

in terms of the finale honestly ebina/hikawa was kind of right tbh. and i think the game wanted me to agree with him in a sense? he was right to hate arakawa these games will never make me like these deadbeat father figures (except genda he ruled) but what i didnt agree with was kiryus whole... deal at the end. i dont know. i dont think he was ever wrong for fucking off out of the tojo clan and i definitely dont thing he was wrong for not taking on the responsibility of chairman and trying to 'change things' or something like its not literally a massive criminal organization. wasnt a big point of this game that people should be allowed to leave the criminal life and reintegrate in society? so why should the game be blaming kiryu for fucking off from being chairman in the first game to do exactly that. we COULD be blaming him for never actually cutting ties with the tojo clan fully and always having one foot on each side and not ever doing much but trying to maintain the status quo through that rather than change anything. which honestly would make much more sense than blaming him for not trying to do anything as chairman. but i digress. i guess. wild that this was like one of 4 or 5 times that this man has ever cried on screen and its him cradling another man on the floor and then passing out.

the fact that they didnt have the haruka reunion on screen is criminal i was so fucking MAD. they HATE ME SPECIFICALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

and the ending with eiji made no sense to me in a lot of ways. that was the major part of the plot that they didnt wrap up very well besides just having his ass go to jail -what for? collaborating with the yakuza? that wasnt clear to me. i get it that they were trying to show how manipulating or releasing information can sway public opinion very easily. but how did he grow his hair and beard that quick how much damn time had passed??? is that a nitpick? maybe. i did just have to go on the wiki for a plot summary about him if that shows how it was kind of unclear how he ended up in that position. but also tbf i am usually having to go on wikis after i finish rgg games because im stupid and these games are annoyingly complicated. #1 media understanderrrr

with eiji otherwise he was an okay twist villain but the wheelchair thing was just stupid.

why bring back sawashiro anyway i truly didnt see a point to it. i dont think it needed to have been him at all in that role it could have been any other new game character. Did like how everybody took every opportunity they could to dunk on him though

in general the theme wrt atonement and doing over. on the one hand i always believe you get a second chance and i think the 7th game already did a good job showing it with ichi and co. but i always am annoyed that their insistence on atonement must be done through the legal system because im a communist but also in-universe its stupid because of how often theyve shown that the legal system is innefficient and corrupt and i know theyre never gonna challenge the status quo like that bc theyre a generally reactionary series overall but like. its annoying. im over it. im not. anyways back to the theme of atonement i dont think its really bad at all but the rest of the game didnt make me feel anything enough for it to mean something.

liked that the theme of friendship was once again so prominent though and that the cast was dragging kiryu out of being a lone wolf kicking and screaming. did make me smile admittedly. the whole thing with saeko. honestly i was willing to just let it happen after a certain point ichiban is allowed to be happy i guess . the ending was just. i dont know. it would have been silly on its own but after the trainwreck of the rest of the game i was just sitting there like. ._. they hate on my man ichiban for his communication styles and his comprehension of directions and subtleties i guess. though they were right to criticize his stupid ass proposal lmao

sorry i forgot about this point earlier but the whole seiryu clan -> bleach japan thing was also fucking stupid and i found it very diffiuclt to suspend my disbelief for that ie i did not. it was just out of left field and lame and didnt really fit in well with the message of atonement I DONT KNOW like i dont care about believability in a lot of ways their machine gunning the millenium tower again theyre always blowing shit up and doing silly action movie stuff i dont care about that. their plot point choices just tend to be stupid.

side note. the kashiwagi and kiryu initial conversation was genuinely so fucking funny. their more genuine conversation made me tear up actually. sniffle. theyre brothers.

i think im running out of steam here i think i hit all my major points that i didnt like in the game. tldr it was very forced and many of its plotpoints werent believable, and it lacked direction and a strong message in the end, and it bastardized a lot of recurring characters and generally was very flat emotionally. was fun to actually play but it was just stupid.

they could never make me hate you ichiban.

screenies dump

whatever. everyone play rgg5

shinada palate cleanser

[penumbrialhexandroga]

I put this in a discord chat im in but i wanted to put it here too. Today i got diagnosed by my therapist with c-ptsd.

Hhhh today is a day of surthriving. Had therapy this morning and was rough, but i was able to communicate some of my frustrations well. Got some clarification on stuff. Like he said forget about any of the schizophrenia stuff, i dont have it, so thats a relief. He said for a clinical dx i do have CPTSD. And that my episode that id had before when i started seeing him was a dissocaitive episode. So it was nice to get clarification on that i was thinking it was like a psychotic or manic or something but dissociative makes sense with what all went on. Ugh gah but then talked with a real young part and stuff coming up and just ugh fuck i hate. People. Just very heavy. Having things validated. But im so grateful for the coping mechanisms ive developed. Hhhhhhh fuck its just hard. Heavy heavy heavy. Just trying so hard to keep every thing contained so i can get through work. Thank god for Work Mode 🙏. Id been dxed with ptsd already but i did suspect it was cptsd but man having that validated by a therapist ugh i just feel like ive been taking punches and punching brick walls >.< idk i just wanted to express this all somewhere. "Put it out there"

Thats what i put in the chat earlier.

Idk i wanted to write about it i guess. He was saying too how like a diagnosis yknow its fluid it can change. Which im fully on board with i know it can only really be a snapshot of your current whatever experiences. But one thing i really appreciate about getting that dx and that validation and assurance is that it supplies me the language to tell my story. I realized that that was one issue that i had with how generally non-pathologizing my therapist is. Its also something i appreciate about him though, but i just felt like i couldnt really. Like not even tell my story but know my story. I felt lost and confused and uncertain about what my experience was and how i fit in with the world and people around me.

Who really am i? What defines me as an individual? It helps me answer these questions more fully. Not to say my diagnoses are all that i am or can capture the complexity of me as a being.

Its incredibly validating to do this work. I feel alive and autonomous in a way i never really have before. Some of the parts i work with are so so young. If i wasnt doing this work with a therapist i dont think i would really be able to do it. So im very grateful for my circumstances that allow me that. Although i can tell my therapist wants to do more frequent sessions, but it is expensive and insurance sucks so. Idk. Is what it is.

Ugh but this work also fucking sucks and makes things so so hard. But i know im better for it. Gahhahahshbsgdgdgdhd.

Oh man im also really glad too he labeled what that episode was. I was thinking it was a psychotic or manic and maybe i had bipolar, bc some of my family has been dxed with that. But no he said it was CPTSD. and a dissociative episode. Which man even just writing that out again its just. I cant even really identify how it makes me feel its just this kinda hmmm pressure?? Electrical flux? Along the back of my head.

Im grateful for being able to communicate better with my parts too. I was able to get across some things today that i havent been able to for a while and im glad things went well, even if it got tough. Really friggin tough. I know im moving in the right direction.

Id already been diagnosed with ptsd but that was through my psych who specialized in autism and idk it didnt really sink in. Its different now getting diagnosed by someone who knows me very well, ive been seeing him for like over two years now, so i have a lot of trust in his oppinion. But gosh so many raw nerves. Plus its c -ptsd which like, doesnt mean its worse than ptsd or anything lol some people seem to think that but thats more what i was suspecting. It just made more sense to me than standard ptsd with all the dissociation. But i feel really validated and seen and heard and hmm self assured even! Which is so rare for me. I feel like there was a lot of movement and change today. So this post is really just to commemorate it all. Getting diagnosed with cptsd tho, for me its very different than it was getting diagnosed with autism. Maybe thats because of meeting with that part right after tho :/

[kingofdersecest-2]

i want to ask your thoughts on which homestuck ships do you think should have been canon at the end of homestuck?

Whoo boy. I could be a smartass and say something like "Every girl gets with Dave" because Dave is the best partner for every girl, and I can prove it with science and logic. Or I could say Dersecest, cause thats my OTP. But ill take this more seriously and look to what I think could be the ships closest to canon that arent just fucked up. Let GOOOOOOOO. Ships I like DaveJade - Yep, we're starting off strong with this one. Good ole fashioned Davejade. They like each other, have good history together, have good on-screen history too. They kinda got together in HS2, but in this version theres no dog dick, they do have Yiffany, though they call her Ruby instead. They have a nice satisfying life together. Good vibes. JohnRoxy - More good vibes. Sometimes just having two people who genuinely like each other and have good chemistry is all you need in a ship. You dont need problematic or spicy ships. Neither of them are trans obviously, because as it turns out, letting someone who finds a candy bar in a cave somewhere randomly change the gender identity of a character is retarded, actually. VrisRezi - Toxic co-dependant girlfriend ships LESSSSGOOOOO. Terezi and Vriska are in such a weird fucking will they/wont they phase throughout the entire comic. They did kind of get together, at least dead versions of them, who I think just died? I dont remember. Anyway, yeah the living versions get together and make each other miserable and happy at the same time. Meerkat - HS2 sold me on this ship. I dont know why, but I like Meenah and karkat together for some reason. Ships I dont like, but canon circumstances would make them get together anyway. Rosemary - Ugh...the worst ship in homestuck. The boring spice lesbians. The ship that expects you to have read every rosemary fic on Ao3 to stand in for the ships development because theres hardly any in canon, and these motherfuckers got married. As if the canon stuff wasnt boring, the meta about these two creates the most insane discourse. Rose is bisexual, but thats often erased to make her full gay. Kanaya is.....a member of an alien race that does not even know what a lesbian is, but somehow still is one. Yeah, sure ok. Kanaya's questionable sexuality breaks the lore of her own species. Thats impressive. DirkJake - My two least favorite characters in homestuck. I hate dirk and jake, so naturally they should be together. Characters I couldnt figure out, so they are forever alone. Jane - Man, I used to like Jane. Then the writers caught Trump Derangement Syndrome and decided to turn her into him for some fucking reason. I have no sympathy for the Homestuck 2 team and they deserved every bad thing that happened to them for the travesty that was Jane's character assassination. Fuck em. Pre-HS 2 Jane was awesome and she was so goddamn cute when she blushed at Dave saying she was hot. I think DaveJane is a good ship, but he is with Jade. Idk, maybe they can share him. Is that weird? Probably! Jane is too good for Jake because he sucks. And theres no one else i like with her. So yeah.

[the-s1lly-corner]

What do you think would happen if jack got to interact with his old non demon self? Maybe via memory shenanigans or something IDK

I feel like if he saw himself before the events that led him to be a demon he'd basically be like

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRcmmsLx/

Eyeless Jack interacting with his past self

ooooo okay so i saw this last night when you sent this in but it was late and i didnt want to write something while i was tired so !! here we are!! not going to dive into any scenarios on how he meets up with his non-fucked self so! this might be a little shorter + might add some more eye jack (get it?) hcs... idk we'll see ehehe

okokok so jack hcs before he got wrapped up in the cult... i think i mentioned this somewhere but jack was studying to go into the medical field, so hes fairly knowledgeable on things regarding the topic... also its a little funny but messed up that he has to utilize his passion to gather kidneys and other human bits (which he genuinely detests in my take, hes still human in there and has his humanity and stuff)

even before everything jack wasnt much of a social person, preferred to keep to himself in his dorm, rarely spoke to his dorm-mate though was friendly with him

likely gets roped into the cult thing after befriending one of the members, be it they were a student or lived in town is up in the air for now but one things leads to another and...

had heterochromia, one dark brown eye one lighter brown eye! had very bad eyesight, though.. needed glasses to read stuff. i like to think he kept one of those little cloths in his pocket... i think he keeps those on him out of habit even after losing his eyes

that also brings up a question; despite being eyeless many people write that jack can still see (at least with what i interacted), personally i write that hes partially possessed and thats the reasoning he can still see (among the other bodily changes happening to him) ...though im unsure if he still retains his bad eyesight shrugs whatre you guys' thoughts

okokok onto actually meeting his past self.. a lot of feelings

i think above all the other feelings he would feel mad. real mad, i mean he was tricked into something. he finally decided to try to be more open and friendly to others only to get punched in the face and twisted into this thing

lots of feelings and thoughts

its like how when you see something so upsetting you want to destroy it, or harm it in some way. i think it would be the same with jack here, just to... himself..

i think every now and then, on the rare occasion he sleeps... he has dreams where hes back where he was before everything. always wakes up irritated on those nights

but if he had to actually interact with his past self... like actually be able to talk to him and stuff... i do think that even through his rage he would be able to collect himself enough to warn his past self

though that imposes time line stuff and things gumming up and im not about to touch that... though this entire prompt implies something going on but... at least thats assuming this isnt an illusion and it really is him but

shrugs

tldr; very very angry and tries to change the past even if he knows nothing can be done

[yourinterestisnotcringe]

i hope this isn't too much, but i'm nosy! do every odd-numbered smosh question :]

Aah! XD Thank you 😌❣️

Here you go (this got so lengthy omg sorry).

1. Ian or Anthony?

The age old question huh?

You know what? I was asked this before (on a more shallow level I guess but it still fits) and I will repeat myself: "Anthony has Perfect Hair and is very attractive to me. But i was very much very intrigued by Ian as a whole from day 1 and that hasn't changed." (quote by me, sometime between july and now)

On a less shallow level: I relate to Anthony a lot regarding lots of things and respect his journey very much. But Ian - idk what it is, I was drawn to him since day 1 and can also relate to him on several levels. I genuinely find him hilarious. I also know/knew and like(d) people in RL that are very much like him. (Or, at least the way he makes us perceive him.)

3. What's your favorite channel between main/pit/games?

I replied to this here.

5. Do you have a favorite Smosh video? What is it?

I just thought to myself: why did I reblog this ask game? Why am I doing this to myself? I generally am VERY bad at answering questions about favorite things. I cheat all the time. I have several favorite Smosh videos, depending on the criteria. But I'm gonna go with the answer that is probably the most boring one:

Pokémon Theme Song from 2005. (rip)

To me it symbolizes a lot of things and without it I probably wouldn't have found Smosh - or I would've, but a lot later. It evokes many good feelings in me and finding it for sure changed some stuff and influenced me, even though I didn't know it at the time. Lot's of momentous things happened to me in 2006, discovering Smosh via this video was one of them.

7. What is your favorite series on Smosh (main channel)?

Let's do This! !! Followed by uh maybe Pokémon in Real Life, Funeral Roasts and Interviewing Exes.

9. What is your favorite series on Smosh Games?

Would you believe me if I told you that I was stuck on this question for like half an hour? T_T I really like many series on that channel and they did so many different things... And in the end it's still a tie. It's the very basic (?) and classic Gametime w/ Smosh and the very uh, basic (?) Board AF :')

11. What's something you want to see come back?

Easy: Let's Do This! :')

13. Do you ship anything/love any friendship pairs?

I'm actually fine with any ships, romantically or platonically. If I watch any combo long enough and imagine them in random situations I can see them as a ship (platonic or otherwise), or a intriguing combo at the very least. I do enjoy content about Ian &/ Anthony, and pretty much other popular combos. A combination I've seen less of and that I love is Tommy + Ian and Courtney + Ian. However you want to interpret this, I love their dynamics and what my head provides me with about them. As a sidenote and apart from any shipping business: Courtney's and Ian's friendship is very very dear to me, if you (general) have any clips/interview/audio/whatever where their friendship is being shown/the topic, feel free to send it to me. I would be so so grateful :')

15. What castmember do you think you are most like?

Ok so I asked my sibling because I wasnt sure about this. And they said: Ian, Sarah (we both miss her dearly and we'll count her as cast for this) and Amanda. I agree tbh.

17. What do you want to see now that Anthony's back?

Summer/Winter Games :')

19. Is there a video/series you really loved when you were younger?

Lunchtime with Smosh! 🥹 (Ian is Bored too..I know, this is cheating ;_;)

21. Did you ever watch Smosh the movie?

Yes! More than once 🤭😆

23. Tell me an unpopular Smosh opinion.

I'm more excited for the concept and existence and bts of Food Battle returning than for the Food Battle 2023 video itself. Don't know if that's an unpopular opinion though. I'm very exited and am looking forward to it very much, and it looks very good. But I enjoy the Food Battle series on a rather meta level and am not as emotionally involved as with other stuff.

25. It's food battle time. You picking a pink frosted sprinkled donut, or some stick-shaped food?

Thank youuu!!

[Smosh Ask Game]

[jackienautism]

Now I’m really curious about your thoughts on the other counselors. I don’t really have any strong opinions on them much tbh idk why. Maybe it’s the whole “horny teenager” trope or something

(finally getting around to this. sorry for taking so long dfkldg)

yeaaaah fair enough dfgjndg thats exactly why i get pissed off playing the game tbh. it just becomes so convoluted with this romantic whatever bullshit that it gets SUPER TIRING...... but that's ok though bc silas kaylee and caleb need someone to love them unconditionally right?

anywho! i appreciate you wanting to see my other unfiltered opinions on the characters kdfgdfjg bc gosh do i have a lot. especcially for TQ bitches. as i just ssaid,

i AM going to get unfiltered and potentially brutal so if anyone is your ultimate bestie i recommend not reading (abi and laura are safe though of course<3) (mainly because nothing about either of them necessarily irritated me LOL and im easy to irritate)

im going to reference my thoughts on the characters from a note i wrote after playing through like ? chapter 4 for the first time. but honestly not miuch has changed. and just to preface this a good portion of my negative opinions come from the campfire scene in chapter 2 LOL like. when i first played the game i began disliking like more than half the characters here alone

//

dylan: talked about him here (its not positive)

//

nick: i just think hes a prick who doesn't deserve abi 🤷 of course he was given the short end of the stick in terms of screentime, but its kind of funny bc kaitlyn has a similar amount of Actual walk around time and she's there like. the entire game LMAO so yeah that pisses me off. nick has 3 moments where you play as him, and kaitlyn has 5/6, depending on how you separate her section in chapter 10. they both have the same amount of Get To Explore And Walk Around time though, which is a whopping total of one thanks guys. anywho. even before he began acting like a creep i didnt like him lol... and no surprise but it all stems from chapter 2...

long story short, i dont doubt that nick actually cares for abi and likes her but i think in the grand scheme of things it mostly has to do w/ him wanting tits and ass... sort of similar to mike's whole deal... and i believe this based on the bullshit he pulls w/ emma. yeah he says that "tHiS mIgHt NoT bE a GoOd IdEa" and yet he still plays along despite dylan saying that 2 people can kiss AS LONG AS everyone consents. he could've gotten out of the situation. and yet he fucking didnt. i dont care if he didnt realize the consequences of his actions, if he TRULY liked abi he wouldnt have done this shit in the first place. "ive had my moments, im not proud of some of the stuff ive done" DOG YOU JUST HAD A MOMENT AND YOURE NOT EVEN FUCKING APOLOGIZING TO THE PERSON YOU HURT!!!!!! idc if it technically wasnt totally his fault. he still was involved in humiliating and upsetting abi. all he blames it on is playing alonog with emma's plan to make jacob jealous and aside from that just being such a shitty anf fucked up excuse in general, its not even ???? true?????????? GOD. IM SORRY. THE WHOLE SITUATION MAKES ME SO UPSET

//

jacob: as said in my previous TQ / UD rankings... i really flip flop w/ him alot. however im def leaning towards neutral to dislike NGL. i HAAATED his whole thing w/ emma like incredibly so. however. i did feell real bad for him during chapter 1, despite already knowing that he was the one to bust the truck up and keep everyone there another night. i felt bad despite already having a reason TO dislike him. kaitlyn was being mean for no reason. nick and dylan were being mean for no reason. it's just... it's almost like he was being used as the group's laughing stock. but as time went on i just continually became less and less willing to sympathize . hell, he's just a INFINITELY less sympathetic josh... of course seeing him crying and upset in ch 3 was sad, but at this point i don't really know what he expected im sorry. he really dragged all these other people into his bullshit with emma. and it's more than clear how emma feels about their relationship, of course emma wasn't great either with him, but jacob isn't an angel ... EITHER in this situation. of COURSE he couldn’t have known that the night would go the way it does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that fucking up the truck was a shitty move regardless LMAO as said previously, i HAAATe how fucking possessive he is of her. like when nick tells jacob that he could see what emma wantss? and jacob just laughs it off? it's so fucking stupid dog. character wise though, he of course has a lot going for him and i can see why people find appeal in him. especially seeing hwo many stereotypes theyre subverting, in terms of jacob showing emotions and shit. but for me personally, it's a no

//

ryan: my man🤝 even after all this time.... i find him very respectable and i very much appreciate him. similar to my deal w/ abi, even his more "asshole-ish" moments / dialogue choices (aside from a few off the top of my head LOL) are like. justified... and in character... like. him being so pissed off at and wary of laura? like????? laura is my beloved but this random girl just popped out of nowhere, killed one of his closest friends, and now wants to kill what he has of a father figure? like yeah id be acting like ryan too if i were put into his situation LMAO yeah you can be annoyed w/ his actions and behavior, but in context? the way he's acting is understandable and justified. it doesnt DESERVE criticism, because there's nothing to criticize! he's acting as any normal person would! of COURSE it's annoying how he doesn't BELIEVE laura, that's a whole other can of worms, but overall he's allowed to be a pissed off little bitch. and him potentially going against the whole party idea? that line of dialogue is just more in character for him i will not accept any other answer. it makes no sense that he'd suddenly go against chris' word. and it PISSES ME OOOOFF seeing how the game still like ? has ryan show up to the party despite being adamant against it.

ANYWAY.... ppl don't appreciate his autistic swag like i do. "he has no character" "he's boring" TO YOU. y'all rly see a character mainly speak in a monotone voice and rarely smile / show expression and go. yeah he's boring . do you not see the like . connotations of that. like be for real. he’s like. one of the only few genuinely good ppl here lmao and seeing how chris says that ryan is one of his fave counselors and how he TRUSTS him enough to hold all this responsibility + have all these in depth talks w him it’s just. you see what kind of person ryan is just from that. and how so far ryan is the only character (while you’re in control) who’s able to interject whatever bullshit is being said at the moment it just. i’m sorry. he’s just a good guy. i respect how he’s willing to go against the bulk of the group during the whole party or lodge thing. i also respect that he’s willing to put a fucking end to dylan’s invasive fucked up truth question. i KNOW that it all depends on the Player to choose these specific options BUT. they just fit ryan’s character more so🤷 what can i say. fuck everyone else

//

max: my bf (real)

laura: my gf (real)

abi: me (irl)

//

emma: in my original note i said that i was leaning torwards neutral to dislike lmao....... oh have the turns havbe tabled. anywho. i think shes such a stupid dumbass bitch. she's so funny for no goddamn reason. i am shoving her down a flight of stairs. i love her character sooo much. i hate how she acted with jacob (despite most of it being her people pleaser side Showing but, that's a whole different conversation i am willing to have). she's suuuuch a beloved but gooooooood god i draw the line at being such a shitty friend to abi. that's my biggest complaint when it comes to emma and her actions. i understand that she has a moment where she's like "you're my best friend, i need you" and i fucking eat that shit up but almost everything else that happens and happens prior..... just goddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

to get started. most of this is gonna be nitpicky and personal shit, so if you think it's small and shouldn't be addressed, then you're probably right LOL im just ultra sensitive to this sort of stuff due to past personal experiences. ANYWAY!!!!!! you know the little teasy comment emma makes towards abi after you avoid hitting the squirrel? how she's like, "this is her first time asking a guy out like EVER"? it makes me wanna beat her up fr kldfggnfg bc it's like... it's not a thing to joke about... i see sooo much of myself in abi meaning i see her as autistic and that's just. you know how much being autistic hinders those sort of abilities? i obviously can't say for sure but, seeing how abi later talks about people wantingher to interact w/ others better? hence why she went to summer camp in the first place? i'd say that probably isn't too outrageous to think...

and sort of continuing off that same topic, when abi is having trouble choosing someone for truth or dare, how emma is just like. "ding ding ding, my turn!" LIKE. AS HER FRIEND. WHO PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT HOW MUCH ABI STRUGGLES SOCIALLY. DON'T YOU THINK SHE'D BE LIKE? "OHH ABI JUST PICKK ME" INSTEAD OF HUMILIATING HER? LIKE. BC THERES SOOO MANY DIFF WAYS OF MOVING ON AND HELPING ABI OUT....... GOING ABOUT IT THW WAY EMMA DID ISN'T THE WAY TO GO......... ESPECIALLY KNNOWING HOW SOCIALLY ANXIOUS ABI IS.... anyway. while we're on the campfire scene, it's so fucked why she chooses to kiss nick lmao like ok yeah it may work in the end (potentially) but its still ?????????????? girl you know how much abi likes nick (SUPPOSEDLY) why go about this shit in the most destructive way possible? and what makes me even MORe mad is that. they dont even ever address this scene ever again???? despite it being such a huge and humiliating and probably traumatizing moment for abi??????????? YES they're able to have a more in depth andf heart to heart conversation about their relationship. but its not fucking enough! bc that fucking stupid ass dare and its outcome was the catalyst for the rest of the night's events lmao! imagine beign brushed aside and seen as a social fucking experiment for your entire life. which is something im SURE abi has felt and experienced. and emma, her best friend, LITERALLY CONTRIBUTES TO THAT!!!!!! ITS SO FUCKED AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY. i could probably go on about this topic but ill leabe it for a separate post i guess anyway if i were abi id be fucking pissed off and upset

her character means so very much to be like her whole people pleaser and "curate myself to each individual person ive ever met to keep them fromn leaving me" resonates so so much with me and i love it so much. ive talked about this b4 in a previous post but i can only imagine how lonely she feels, acting the way she acts. no one will ever truly know who she is. shes in a constant state of performance. every single person she's ever met has a different perception of her in their head. and, in one way or another, it's all wrong!!!! i love you emma mountebank i love you abigail blyg

//

kaitlyn: i wont even lie i instantly fell in love w her after hearing the INSANE shit she says fnsjfjsnf esp felt it after the “jacob go upstairs. jacob get bag. kaitlyn moves on with her goddamn life” fell in love fr. and her whole stupid monologue after jacob was like "yeah i mean, what did i expect would happen?" SHES LITERALLY INSANE. but. like. i was not and still Am not happy w how she treated abi during the campfire scene though. due to 1. her telling abi to basically hurry the fuck up despite seeing how much she was GENUINELY struggling, and also potentially knowing about her social struggles prior. bc they're friends. right? and 2. just coming up wiht the dare in general lol it was such a fucked up thing to do and as ive said w/ emma, the fact theyre unable to actually jhave a convo abt it later is suuuuper dumb and shitty imo. esp seeing just how upset abi got, and the most fucked up thing is, neither kaitlyn NOR emma seem to show any remorse for it!!!!! that's just so fucked up

anywho. hate how both of their asian girls (emily in until dawn) are characterized as bossy and very. my way or the highway. it’s actually real fucked up in that light. fuck you supermassive. y’all are lucky that these 2 characters are their respective games’ baddest bitches . i SUPPOSE it isn’t THAT as big of a deal in this game bc. there are like. objectively more unlikable characters (in the guys AND girls) so kaitlyn doesn’t stand out as much (as emily did. she was practically written to be hated. bc NO ONE ELSE was as strong personality wise as her. i suppose jess comes close but 1. i think ppl shit on her for other stupid shit anyway SO and 2. she effs off for more than half the game) but it still doesn’t make it ok lmao. bc it’s a trend that is very :/ mmmmmmm. even if it’s not that much of a cliche stereotype for asian women, seeing them write both of their asian girls ALMOST THE EXACT SAME WAY is a bit sussy goddamn baka. went off a bit there lmao. anyway. i’m a weak pussy bitch and after she softened after abi returned freaked out i 😭 i love you. more positive (and NON GUY related) interactions between the girlies please. i literally love her relationship w/ abi so much it's so interesting to me.

and just... to talk about her character real quick, i mmentioned in my tier list that her character frustrates me. and you wanna know why? ive talked abt this b4 but her character is basically a watered down emily davis. and i say this bc. they both overall are the same archetype. except. in kaitlyn's case. there's really no reason for me to like ???? feel bad for her? djjfggkj LIKE. THERE'S LITTLE TO NO SUBSTANCE TO HER CHARACTER.... AND THERE CERTAINLY ISNT MUCH TO FEEL SYMPATHETIC FOR..... i say this bc. almost all the other TQ characters have this moment of ): aw, here's why i should care about and feel bad for you. BUT KAITLYN????? NEVER REALLY OUTRIGHT HAS THAT MOMENT,..... it's almsot like they threw her in there and threw in her characteristics last second.... nothing's really established w/ her. you just. you just keeo finding new stuff about her as the game goes on. like. oh. shes a good shot. oh. she cares about abi. and shit like that. im probably explaining this so terribly rn but hopefully some sense can be made from this scramble. it's just.... thye toook away the interesting aspect(s) of emily'scharacter (her anxiety, her fear of death, her complex to be protected while being fully capable of protecting herslef in times of danger etc etc) and thus gave us kaitlyn. to me she just. she isnt that interesting character wise! there isnt much there for me to grow attached to! people only like her bc shes associated w/ dylan! like shes one of those characters where you sort of HAVE to mold and shape into something that's familiar and Good

re reading htis it really sounds like i don't like her fdjkdg BUT I DO I PROMISE.... i gotta stick w/ my asian girls

//

abi but for real: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 do i even need to say anything? its like supermassive made a character purposely JessCore or something like that. i like. haven’t gone In Depth abt why i got so fucked up over what everyone else did to her during the camp fire scene but. know that it hit a little toooooo fucking close to home. like. I Could See Me Sitting There In Abi’s Spot and it HUUUUUUURT!!!!!!!!!!!! like ): seeing her avert her gaze and how she was fumbling over her words i ))): LIKE. AUGHH. esp after being asked THAT question? since not sleeping w/ anyone by this age is seen as “abnormal”? i could feel that so bad man ): no one deserves to be singled out like that. esp not a VERY much autistic girl who is pretty clear to be on the “outside” of the group. bc she’s not “normal” or not “like everyone else here” and it’s just. fuck you all fr choke. enough of that. i just. she’s so fucking cute too? like girl i love you so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! her lil like. expressive noises and shit are so awesome and make me happy fnsjfjsf you only see them like twice BUT. you don’t really see that from the other characters. so basically: stims. autism. yeah. they rly made abi a little TOO realistic nd relatable fnsjfnnsf but ohhhh man do i love her oh so much. after the camp fire scene i was just. she’s my friend now fuck all of you

//

laura but for real: I MISSED HER AND MAX SOOOOO BAD WHILE PLAYING THROUGH CHAPTERS 1 - 6 SKLDDFJDF i was literally so upset and sad seeing that they werent at camp after the prologue. du eto like literallty all of the characters getting on my nerves I WANTED THEM TO COME HOME SOOOO BAD.... AFTER THE CAMP FIRE SCENE EVERYTHING WENT DOWNHILL AND I MIIISSSEED THEM SOO MUCH i needed them back for real. other than that though, i dont have much to say about laura. i mean of course she's my BELOVED i mean look at my user but. yeah! i think about her often and project some anger shit onto her<3 specifically towards travis for specific and personal reasons<3 even if it's not like character stuff or w/e i think about, i often just rotate herin my mind. i love her so much. plus she's literally a combo of emily and sam aka my 2 fave UD characters how could i not love her?

//

max but for real: i honestly dont have much to say abt him? and i suppose he and laura arent /technically/ a part of the other counselors since they never, yk, showed up. but w/e fdfjgndg i think he's neat. i honestly thought he was like one of the only Good Guys of the game when first playing through,. and that still holds true! i still see ryan as a great guy too though. max just seems like such a good partner and guy in general and i love him. don't necessarily think about him much but as i said before, he's my bf (real)

[anime-related]

I just finished Stars Align/Hoshiai no Sora

There are spoilers in this post. Do not read unless you have watched it all the way through to the end.

I have a lot of thoughts on the finale.

First of all, it makes me think that it was the plan all along. If the writers were rushed into finishing the show and just stuffed that in there for no reason, I dont think it would be so tightly fit in there.

I think it was supposed to have more of an arc though. Maybe (definitely) something to do with Toma. I mean, they both threatened it for each other, I think Toma was supposed to be involved.

Maybe Toma got hurt by him. Maybe Toma kept staying at their house just in case he came by (and perhaps for a taste of escapism from his own home life) and he wasnt happy with it.

I have a couple cenarios running through my head. Either Toma has Maki hide for trauma reasons, or for some reason Maki is out, leaving Toma alone in their apartment.

Kenji spouts some bullshit about how if Toma doesn't want Maki to get hurt, he'll have to take it for him, or basically just hurts him to get through to the money— something like that.

Once Maki finds out, that's what triggers it.

Or, alternatively, Toma is the one to do it. I think i like this idea more, simply because it's already stated in the show, but I also think it's less likely.

Shame on me for reading so far into it, but I feel like the act of legitimately killing his own father is symbolic of Maki's growth as a person. He's moving on. He's making a life for himself.

I'm not going to lie and say I'm upset that he killed his father. I am glad that sob is canonically supposed to be dead. I just think they rushed it because they didn't have much of a choice.

I know a lot of people choose to ignore the finale, which I 10000% understand and respect, but I'd like to write a season 2 directly following the ending scene.

Okay, well, maybe not directly following. I don't really feel like writing a murder scene. But right after that.

It's really upsetting that the show ended so soon. Hell, even if it ended like that and then got a renewal I'd be happy.

And genuinely, I care less about Maki's home life when I say that. He got closure. His father is gone.

I want to know how Toma and Ryouma handle their new home situation. I want to know if/how Futsu meets his bio mom and what she's like, and how their family dynamic might change.

I want to know how Tsubasa deals with his father, and see more of his relationship between him and his brothers. I think it's a crime that we don't see much, if any, of Itsuki's current home life. Who does he live with now, do we even know?

I wan to see Yu come out to their family and friends, see them wear a skirt to school. I want to see the diverse reactions that come with being nonbinary.

I'd like to see what happens with Nao and his mother. Maybe she gets murdered too, idk (/hj). I want to see Shingo's relationship with his sister and mother.

I want to see how Mitsue finds a new audience with her art. I want to see more of Shou.

I want to see more queer anguish and crisis.

I want to see how everyone reacts to the information that Toma initially paid Maki to join the team.

There's so much stuff that they weren't able to tie up in the end. And while I'm glad they tied up Maki's story with his father (and I do think that was the best choice out of the ones I listed in the short time they had), there's still so many questions I have.