#even though he couldn't resist developing that relationship either

[the-crooked-library]

"Louis and Armand were still in love in Dubai!!" "Louis and Armand never loved each other!!" - no. it's worse. they were on the precipice of something good, but Armand couldn't recognize that, so he ruined everything they had, right when Louis had actually come to love him. the love was there for a fleeting moment and it was ruined irreversibly, never to return, even after decades they'd spent together out of desperation and spite. it's worse and that's the point

[bellaxgiornata]

Can't Run from the Truth

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings/tags: 18+; light angst, embarrassment, confession of feelings, happy ending, a smidgen of fluff and implied smut

Summary: After finishing a hunt, you and the Winchester brothers end up at a local dive bar in an attempt to wind down from the evening, though it doesn't take long for you to quickly find yourself drinking down your feelings while Sam flirts at the bar. But when the truth about your feelings for Sam accidentally comes to light, you panic and find yourself immediately ready to split ways with the brothers.

a/n: I'm back on my Sammy bullshit and couldn't resist a little one shot while I'm working on my series for him (Always Waiting for You). Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

Chewing the inside of your cheek, you absently spun your partially drunk bottle of beer between your thumb and index finger, your chin resting in your other hand. The growing chatter of the dive bar filled the room around you as your beer sloshed back and forth inside the bottle, your attention only somewhat focused on the way Dean was discussing the hunt you'd all just finished–a poltergeist that had been haunting a young couples’ new home.

Truthfully your attention was elsewhere tonight, keeping you from focusing on anything that Dean was saying as he sat across the sticky, wooden table from you. Vaguely your mind registered the sound of him laughing at one of his own jokes, but you were too busy watching Sam where he sat across the bar drinking down his second beer. You could see the dimples visible in his cheeks as he nodded his head, smiling wide at something the attractive brunette who'd struck up a conversation with him shortly after your arrival had said. You couldn't help but notice how close she was sitting beside him at the bar, either. 

Jealousy flared within you as you watched the pair of them continue to chat. Honestly you couldn't fault the young woman for her obvious attraction to Sam or for the way she was openly flirting with him. You weren't stupid, you knew exactly how handsome he was. It wasn’t as if both brothers didn’t always catch the attention of women whenever you all stopped in a new town. That wasn't exactly new to you.

But you also knew Sam was far more than just his outward appearance. He was an incredibly smart and compassionate man, having a bigger heart than most anyone else you'd ever met. He was selfless and courageous; the amount of times you’d firsthand witnessed him putting someone else’s life before his own had been too many to count at this point. But he was also sensitive, funny, and thoughtful. Whenever life on the road had begun to take its toll on you, Sam was always the first one finding ways to cheer you up over the past few months since you'd joined the brothers hunting. 

As much as you’d hate to admit it, even just to yourself, you'd grown to love all of those traits of his over the time you had gotten to know him. Because inevitably you had gone and developed strong feelings for Sam. Ones you couldn't deny existed any longer even if you constantly did your best to keep them to yourself. Which was why you were currently sitting at the table and sulking on your barstool as you drank down your third beer of the night, your eyes glued to his plaid back. 

It hurt to watch him flirt back with the woman. Every boyish grin he sent her way tore at your heart, and the way her hand often lingered on his shoulder or his thigh when she spoke to him had you gnawing your cheek even more aggressively in an attempt to keep from crying. You wished you had the courage to ever just tell Sam how you felt. Wished he would want to pull you aside after a hunt and smile at you the same way he was smiling at this complete stranger.

Releasing a dejected sigh, your hand abruptly gripped the neck of your beer bottle. Life on the road hunting never really presented the opportunity to have relationships, which was something you knew from your own experience over the past few years. And while you were quite aware of the fact that neither brother seemed too interested in forming serious attachments to anyone because of that, you also knew Sam. You knew it wasn't a secret that he longed for a normal life, one free of hunting. You always quietly wondered if he would ever eventually fall for one of these women he randomly met and occasionally flirted back with in one of these towns. It wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility after all. Would he ever consider getting serious with one of them?

Something lightly smacked into the beer bottle in your hand, the resounding clink the glass emitted jolting you out of your thoughts. Your eyes flew from the view of Sam's plaid shirt stretched across his broad back and came to land on Dean sitting across from you. There was a knowing albeit annoyed look you didn't quite appreciate drawn across his face.

“Seriously?” he asked, raising a brow at you. 

“What?” you asked him.

Dean shot you a flat look. “Did you hear anything I just said?” he questioned. “Or were you too busy staring at Sammy over there?”

Heat burned your cheeks at Dean's blunt accusation. You were immediately embarrassed that he had somehow noticed what you'd actually been doing while he’d been talking, but you clearly weren't about to admit you had in fact been staring at Sam. Shaking your head gently from where it still rested in the palm of your left hand, your gaze dropped down to where you once more began awkwardly fidgeting with your beer bottle.

“I wasn't staring at him,” you lied. “I'm just spacing out. We were up most of last night researching the case, remember? I'm just tired.”

“Uh huh,” Dean replied. He gestured a hand at your beer bottle as he asked, “Is that why you're drinking so much tonight then? Because I've noticed that you always drink more when someone gets a little flirty with my brother.”

“I do not,” you grumbled, eyes still downcast.

You heard the way Dean shifted in his stool across from you, emitting a noise of disbelief at your response. Out of the corner of your eye you saw him raise his beer to his lips before taking a drink. You kept your eyes averted from his, focusing on the table in the hopes that he couldn’t see the truth written on your face if you didn’t make eye contact with him.

“That's your third beer,” Dean pointed out a moment later, lowering his bottle back to the table. “I know you only have one drink at most after a hunt. But usually you’re the sober one. Now tonight some chick is over there being handsy with my brother, and here you are downing your third beer already.” 

Twirling your beer bottle even more nervously at how observant he was, you heard Dean sigh before he shifted again in the barstool. Leaning forward towards you, he rested his elbows along the table looking anything but ready to drop the topic. Clenching your jaw, you continued to avoid his gaze–though you could certainly feel the way he was staring at you now.

“I see how you are around Sam. It's painfully obvious you like the guy,” Dean continued, his tone far softer. “So why the hell don't you just tell him already?”

“Because I don't like him,” you retorted. 

“Oh come on,” Dean shot back. “You definitely drink more whenever we stop somewhere and some chick flirts with him. It’s happened more than enough times for me to know it isn’t just a coincidence.”

You shrugged weakly, still refusing to meet Dean’s eyes. “Like I said, I’m just tired. And it’s been a long day. That poltergeist did throw a mirror at me. I think that warrants me trying to have a few drinks to unwind for the night.”

Sam had also very meticulously and tenderly cleaned and bandaged the cuts you’d received on your bicep from the glass shattering immediately after the fact. The memory of his gentle, warm hands on your skin as he’d taken care of your wounds after the fact had been worth the injury in the end, but you'd rather face a vampire nest alone than voice that thought aloud. 

“Bullshit,” Dean challenged. “I see the way you smile at him. I see how you sneak looks at him, especially on long drives. The way you laugh at his jokes–which are terrible, by the way. We all know I’m the funny one.”

Rolling your eyes, you shook your head. As Dean continued on, you raised your beer from the table, taking a deep pull off of it as you turned your head over your shoulder and focused on the window to your left. It was getting fairly late now, the nearly full moon hanging low in the night sky. Just across the street you could see the Impala parked out front of the motel the three of you were staying at tonight, the red neon of the bright sign catching your attention.

“He likes you, too, you know,” Dean told you. 

You huffed out an unamused, bitter laugh at the thought. “Now that is some bullshit, Dean,” you muttered, still focused on the motel across the street. “He sees me like you do. As a little sister.”

“Are you kidding me?” he snapped. “Do you not see the way his face lights up whenever you stay up late with him to research a case? Or how excited he gets when you help him search online newspapers for a new job?”

“Because you never want to,” you replied, finally turning your attention to Dean. “I can’t let him be the only one doing all the work when we're on a job. And I’m sure he just appreciates getting the help.”

Dean pulled a face at you, shaking his head. “That’s definitely not it, I think I know my own brother. I mean, the man gets heart eyes when you find us a diner that has avocado toast on the menu.”

“Well we don’t all enjoy eating greasy burgers constantly,” you argued back. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

Across the table from you, Dean’s eyes narrowed. Something smug crossed his features next and you found yourself growing a little more nervous at the sight. You didn’t believe him in the slightest about Sam, but you knew he was far too right about how you felt. And you didn't like that one bit.

“Then what about those times I’ve seen you both share a bed?” he questioned, that smug expression still on his face. “Countless times I’ve woken up to take a piss and I’ve found the pair of you cuddled up together looking rather cozy beneath the sheets.”

Your cheeks burned again as you ducked your head awkwardly, once more avoiding his probing gaze. Truthfully you’d never known what to make of those mornings yourself when you and Sam had woken up in bed wrapped around each other. Usually you both profusely apologized before one of you–usually you–bolted to the bathroom. And then nothing further was ever said after the fact.

“It’s not intentional,” you weakly replied. 

“You know,” Dean began in a cocky tone, “out of all the times I’ve shared a bed with you, we’ve never woken up like that. Pretty sure that says something.”

“No, it doesn’t,” you firmly countered.

“Just admit it already,” he pushed. “Stop trying to deny it. You have feelings for him.”

Eyes snapping shut at his determined persistence, your hand tightened hard around the neck of your beer bottle. You could feel the alcohol in your system beginning to cloud your mind, making you more easily irritated with Dean than you normally would’ve been if he had brought up this subject when you hadn’t already drank so much. 

“At the very least, you can admit it to me,” he continued. “Both of you are so damn stubborn, but I already know–”

“Yes, fine!” you snapped, eyes flying open as you glared across the table at Dean. “If it gets you to finally shut up about it, yes! I like Sam, alright? And I can’t stand watching him flirt with other women whenever we’re out because yeah, I wish it was me instead. So I drink a little extra to try to ignore how much it hurts me. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

You were fuming as you glared at Dean, your jaw clenched tight as he sat there with a self-satisfied grin on his face. The sight of that grin confused you, somehow further growing your irritation at him and this topic. If he'd wanted to get a rise out of you tonight, he’d certainly succeeded.

“What?”

At the sound of the voice coming from just beside you, you abruptly stiffened in your seat. Mouth falling open as your eyes widened in shock, you instantly recognized that voice. Sam was apparently standing beside you and no longer sitting over at the bar, meaning he most likely had overheard what you'd just angrily admitted. Your heart immediately began to race in your chest, your palms beginning to dampen with sweat as embarrassment flooded you.

“Yeah,” Dean said, that amused little grin still on his mouth as his eyes glittered with mischief. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, actually.” His attention shifted to just over your shoulder, his expression never wavering. “Perfect timing there, too, Sammy. I’m guessing you caught all of that?”

Panic soon mixed with the embarrassment you felt, your body still rigid where you sat in the bar stool. You didn’t dare to look at Sam behind you as the urge to bolt out of the bar hit you strong and hard. 

This whole situation was mortifying. How were you supposed to go back to the motel and sleep in the same room with either of them after that? How were you supposed to share a bed with either of them? Or continue to even work together? It was one thing when you could pretend you were just friends with Sam and he had no clue about your actual feelings, but now that he knew? You felt like you were going to be sick with the way your stomach was twisting and churning.

You needed to get out of the bar. You needed to get away from the Winchesters. Far, far away.

Releasing your death grip on your beer bottle, both of your hands landed down hard on the table. Abruptly you pushed your bar stool back, the legs screeching along the bar floor. That roiling, sick feeling inside your gut only intensified as the seconds passed. As you rose to your unsteady feet, those beers in your system causing the room to spin just a little around you, you caught the way Dean’s expression finally changed. The smug, self-satisfied look shifted to something like concern as his brows drew together.

“What’re you doing?” he asked.

“I need to go,” you blurted.

Grabbing your bag from off of the bar stool beside you, you flung the strap of it over your shoulder. Still avoiding looking at Sam who’d remained entirely silent, you spun on your heel towards the bar’s exit and made your way straight to it. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Dean exclaimed behind you. “Where do you think you're going?”

You didn't respond. Instead, your sluggish and somewhat inebriated mind was quickly trying to piece some sort of escape plan together. Maybe you could call a cab and get a ride to another motel for the night. You could probably book a flight and head out to Bobby’s place tomorrow and get yourself sorted with a vehicle with his help. It wasn’t like you’d needed to hunt with the Winchesters, after all. For now you’d go back to the motel across the street and grab your duffle bag and wait for a car to come pick you up. When you were safely away from the brothers you’d shoot Dean a text to let him know you were planning to do your own thing so he wouldn’t worry–but you weren’t going to mention going to Bobby’s. You didn’t need them showing up there on you.

Pushing the door of the bar open, you exited the building in a hurry, still ignoring the sound of Dean calling after you. The cool air of the late summer night brushed over your cheeks as you briskly made your way towards the street. The bright red neon of the motel sign was like a beacon of safety right now, drawing you towards it and away from Sam and Dean and the disaster that your night had unexpectedly taken. 

It was quieter outside of the bar as you walked, the lack of extra noise allowing the panicked, anxious thoughts in your head to grow even louder. You couldn’t believe Dean had been such an asshole tonight, intentionally goading you into not only admitting you had feelings for his brother, but pushing you into confessing it within earshot of him without you even knowing. He’d ruined everything by doing that. 

And now you were left with no choice but to go back to hunting alone again. Just you by yourself. The thought had tears pricking at your eyes. Ever since you’d decided to work together with the brothers, hunting and living life on the road had been far less lonely, even if you’d had to deal with your one-sided feelings for Sam. But now it would once more just be you again. With no one to watch your back or shoulder the burden of driving. No one to play amusing games of twenty questions on long car rides, to keep you on your toes with ridiculous pranks, or to keep you company as you ate all your meals on the go. No more Sam to shoot you warm smiles that never failed to brighten your day, or to help patch you up whenever you got hurt.

Roughly wiping the back of your hand across your cheeks, you attempted to remove the few tears that had fallen. With a soft sniffle you fought the urge to continue crying down as you approached room number eight, the room the three of you had rented just before heading over to the bar for a few drinks. Unzipping your purse, you stuck your hand inside and dug around, feeling for the room key. It was a moment before your fingers found it and you pulled it out of your bag. 

Quickly unlocking the door, you pushed it open and stepped inside, shutting it behind you a little harder than necessary. Wasting no time, you tossed your room key onto the small, round table positioned next to the outdated and worn armchair in the room before making your way over to your bag where you’d earlier tossed it onto one of the queen beds. Taking a moment to unzip it, you made sure everything you needed was still packed inside. Satisfied that everything was still there, you sat down onto the end of the bed before reaching back into your purse. You pulled out your cell phone and unlocked the screen, but you hadn't even had a chance to search for a local car service before the motel door swung open. 

Head darting over your shoulder at the abrupt noise, you were surprised to find Sam's tall frame filling the doorway. He stood there staring at you for a moment, a hard to read expression on his face as his lips thinned into a straight line. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding under his gaze. You saw Sam's focus shift to your duffle bag where it sat at your side on the bed before his eyes dropped down to the phone in your hands. It looked as if he'd winced before he focused back on you. 

“What’re you doing?” he asked softly.

Swallowing hard, you watched as he entered the room, carefully closing the motel door behind himself and leaving the pair of you very much alone. You could feel your heart beating harder in your chest as he slowly made his way across the room towards you, another pained look on his face when he saw the room key you'd tossed onto the table.

“Are you…leaving?” he asked slowly, his sad eyes meeting yours once more.

Awkwardly biting your bottom lip, not sure you could trust your voice, you nodded. When his expression further fell, you felt like someone had punched you right in the stomach. He looked so unexpectedly hurt at the news.

“Why?” he asked next, voice barely above a whisper. “Why would you leave?”

Silently you watched as Sam lowered himself onto the foot of the bed next to yours. He was looking at you with such raw emotion on his face that it had you feeling tears beginning to well in your own eyes again. You couldn't understand why he looked so upset, which only had you feeling guilty for almost disappearing on them without a word tonight.

Shrugging lightly at his question, your eyes dropped back down to your phone that you were clutching tight in both of your hands. You didn't want to have this conversation, especially not with Sam.

“Because you weren't supposed to hear any of what I’d said to Dean,” you quietly confessed. “And now things are going to be awkward and weird between us.”

“What do you mean?” he pressed. “How would things be awkward and weird?”

“Because I like you!” you blurted, your watery gaze flying towards where he sat on the other bed. The beers you'd drank earlier had fully loosened your tongue, the words easily flowing from your mouth now that Sam had already learned the truth. “And now you know that I don't just see you as a friend or a hunting partner. And I definitely don’t see you like a big brother despite you and Dean seeing me like a little sister. And that’s embarrassing , Sam! You weren't supposed to hear any of that! Now there’s no way that I can just keep traveling with you both. I can't sit in the car with you for hours on end pretending I don’t have feelings anymore. I can’t share a motel room with you, let alone share a bed with you ever again!”

Sam's eyes narrowed, his dark brows furrowing at what you'd said as if he was confused. But just as he'd opened his mouth to say something in response, you barreled on, not giving him the opportunity as the words continued to spill out of you.

“So I'm just going back to hunting alone,” you told him. “I think that's better for everyone. Certainly better than making everyone uncomfortable by continuing to work together. I’d rather go back to being on the road by myself than–”

“Whoa, hang on,” Sam said, raising a hand and finally cutting you off.

You paused, eyeing him nervously as he waved his hand in the space between the pair of you. He was shaking his head, his features tightened together as if he was in thought. 

“So you're what? Just going to run away now?” he asked. “Without even saying anything first? Not even a goodbye or an explanation?”

Your gaze guiltily dropped down to the phone in your hands. “I was going to send a text,” you murmured.

“Did it ever occur to you at any point to hear what I might have to say?” he questioned. “That maybe you might be wrong?”

Pulling a face, you glanced back up at him. He'd leaned closer towards you from his place on the end of the other bed, a softness reflecting in his hazel eyes that you hadn't ever seen before in them. It had your heart nearly skipping in your chest. 

“Wrong about what?” you asked.

A small, unexpected smile pulled at the corner of his lips, something about it seeming almost timid. Your stomach nervously flipped inside of you at the sight of it. Vaguely you wondered what he could have possibly meant, but you remained silent, lost in the tender way he was staring back at you. A way he’d never quite looked at you before.

“That I view you like a little sister,” he answered softly. “Or that things would be weird between us now that I know how you actually feel about me. Wrong about needing to run off and be on your own again because things would be uncomfortable.”

“But Sam–”

“And wrong to think that I don't have feelings for you,” he finished. 

You sucked in a sharp breath at his words, your lips parting in surprise. For a moment you were too shocked to speak, stunned into a brief silence as you studied that unfamiliar look of fondness on his face. It wasn't one you'd seen before. 

“You–you what?” you stammered out.

Sam’s smile widened a little more, the shyness disappearing from his face as he nodded. “I’ve had feelings for you for a while now. Ever since we finished that exorcism out in Georgia.”

Face scrunching up in thought, your attention dropped back down to the phone in your hands as you tried to think back to when you’d all last been in Georgia dealing with a demon. It took you a moment to finally recall the job.

“But that was…months ago,” you said slowly, your eyes once more meeting Sam’s. “About a month after I officially joined you guys on the road back at Bobby’s.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, rising up from his place at the edge of the bed. “Truthfully I’d had a crush on you when we first met in Indiana. During that haunting we all wound up accidentally working together.” 

Sam crossed the small space between the beds before carefully sitting down on the bed beside you. The weight of him dipped the mattress once he sat, causing your body to inevitably slide a little towards him. Heat crept up your neck at his close proximity, aware that his thigh was mere inches from yours now. Trying to keep your breathing even as it started to come in a little shallow, you averted your gaze from his, setting your phone off to the side of yourself.

“I…didn’t know that,” you said.

“I didn’t want you to,” Sam admitted. “Figured I probably wouldn’t be seeing you again after that, even though we’d all exchanged numbers once the job was finished. But then you’d unexpectedly shown up at Bobby’s months later looking for help with a vamp nest. And when we’d officially decided to work together after that job–” Sam shrugged, his shoulder lightly bumping against yours as he did. “Well, I figured it would be easier to work together if I kept my distance.”

“So you mean,” you began slowly, turning your attention back on Sam at your side, “that all this time you’d actually felt the same?”

“Yeah,” he answered.

“But–but what about the women I’ve seen you flirt with?” you asked before you could stop yourself. “The woman at the bar tonight? That waitress the other week in Kentucky? I thought you liked them?”

Sam quirked a brow at you, his head tilting a little to the side as he shot you a questioning look. “What about that guy who bought you a drink last month in Texas? Or the police officer in Montanna who gave you his number? Were you interested in them?”

You frowned at his question, shaking your head. “No,” you told him. “It was just nice to be noticed for once, I guess.”

Sam grinned at you, laughing lightly as he did. “Yeah, I know the feeling.”

A silence fell between the pair of you, your mind racing at everything you’d just learned tonight. You hadn’t expected the night to go the way it had, especially with Sam showing up and admitting that he’d also had feelings for you. But as you sat there trying to process everything, you realized he was steadily leaning in closer to you on the bed, his eyes occasionally flickering towards your mouth. Once more you felt your pulse quicken.

“So now what?” you asked him.

“Well,” Sam began in a hushed tone, his eyes once more dropping down towards your lips before meeting your gaze again, “I’m guessing you’re not still planning to run off on your own, are you?”

He leaned in another inch closer and you found yourself struggling to form a coherent thought. Was he doing what you thought he was? Was he going to kiss you?

“No,” you breathed out.

“Then how about tomorrow morning I take you out for coffee?” he suggested. “Before Dean wakes up. Just you and I?”

He’d leaned in even further now, his face so close you were actively refraining from closing the small distance between yourselves and just kissing him. You could feel the soft exhalations of his warm breath brushing over your cheek every time he breathed and it was making you dizzy.

“I’d like that,” you whispered. 

The corners of his mouth curled even higher before his hand rose up, gently grasping your chin with his fingers and carefully tilting your mouth towards his. His nose lightly bumped against the tip of yours and your eyes instinctively closed at the touch. Tongue darting out to nervously lick your lips, you could feel how hard your heart was pounding, feeling as if the organ itself had somehow jumped up into your throat in anticipation of a kiss.

After a moment you were unable to hold back any longer, his warm breath still rhythmically cascading over your skin had already driven you mad with want. Losing the battle against your self-control, you leaned in and finally connected your lips to his. The kiss was somewhat hesitant at first, your mouth moving carefully against his soft lips as if you were unsure of how he’d react at first. But Sam’s mouth responded to yours with such a firm certainty that you soon melted right into him, your body sinking closer to his on the mattress. His fingers quickly released your chin, his hand soon coming to cradle the back of your head as he kissed you more passionately. There was no denying the way he felt about you with the way his lips were moving against yours right now.

Losing yourself in the moment, your hands flew up and latched onto his broad shoulders. Nails digging into his plaid shirt, you drew him closer to the front of yourself as the heat of his body warmed you in more ways than one. He smelled so good–like a mix of leather from the Impala’s seats, a hint of something like cedarwood from his soap, and a bit of gunpowder from earlier’s hunt. You couldn’t seem to get enough of him, your own mouth heatedly matching the pace of his.

Sam’s other hand was soon gripping your hip tight, tugging you towards himself and almost straight into his lap as his tongue slid along your bottom lip. You’d only barely loosed a faint moan against his mouth at the feel of it before he gradually pulled away, breaking the kiss. Chest heaving as you’d tried to catch your breath, your eyelids slowly fluttered open. Sam’s face hovered just before yours, an obvious flush to his cheeks as he grinned back at you. You couldn’t fight back the smile that broke out across your own face at the sight.

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” he confessed.

“Yeah,” you said, still attempting to catch your breath from your place now halfway in his lap. “Me too.”

“So uh,” Sam began, clearing his throat a little as his hand left its place cradling the back of your head, both of them now gripping your hips firmly in his large palms, “does this mean we always get to share a bed now?”

Nails still digging into his solid shoulders, you shot him a grin. “If you want,” you replied. “But does that also mean it's not weird if we actually cuddle in bed now?”

A wide smile broke out across his face, somehow making him look even more handsome than usual. The sight nearly knocked the breath out of you. 

“Definitely not weird, no,” he answered. 

Easing your grip on his shoulders, you tentatively wrapped your arms around his neck. When he only continued to smile back at you, you relaxed even further against him.

“So…should we head back to the bar?” you reluctantly suggested. “Let Dean know everything is good?”

“Nah,” Sam said, shaking his head. “He'll figure it out. I think I'd rather enjoy the rare alone time we have suddenly found ourselves with.”

Arching a curious brow at him, you watched as a mischievous smile slipped onto his mouth and lit up his face. Without warning, his hands on your hips tugged you forward and entirely onto his lap. A soft, surprised gasp fell out of you as your arms wrapped even tighter around his shoulders, keeping you steady after the abrupt movement.

“What're you up to, Sam Winchester?” you asked, gazing down at him from your place on his lap.

“I guess you'll just have to wait and see,” he said, shooting you a wink. 

A light laugh escaped you before it was quieted by Sam’s mouth once more crashing onto yours. All thoughts of anything but the way Sam’s large hands had begun roaming their way beneath the back of your shirt quickly left your mind.

[lightningonatether]

Why c!endersmile were actually friends

ALTERNATIVELY TITLED: my crazy thesis on two bad bitches with not a single moment of screentime fueled purely by my own insanity

ALTERNATIVELY alternatively titled: to all loreheads please be nice i dont usually lorepost. feel free to engage though

So my return is courtesy of litchi, who mentioned c!endersmile like once a month ago, and got me thinking about them so hard I couldn't just walk away.

Namely, litchi reminded me of a few theories I have concerning c!endersmiles relationship, that I developed back when i was watching the SMP live. This might make my recollection of some events a little fuzzy, but everything should be canon compliant cause I was thinking about all this as I watched.

I was already watching ranboo pretty regularly at the point the prison arc started, I cant resist a really weird guy with horrible debilitating anxiety. I already thought the whole hearing dreams voice in his head was really interesting, but as the prison arc evolved it became clear that ranboos relationship with dream wasnt just some hallucination inside ranboos head and actually had some substance.

My theory really started to develop into what it is now with the explosions on the prison roof which led to the lockdown and tommys death; these were confirmed to be set by ranboo in his enderwalk state. He was one of the only people online at the time, ranboo found tnt in his inventory afterwards, and I think dream also told sam he knew ranboo did it at some point, although I can't find the exact stream.

At that point it was obvious that enderwalking ranboo held a different set of beliefs, alliances, and likely more memories than the "awake" ranboo we saw most of the time on streams, and was acting against amnesiac ranboos wishes. The explosions above the prison along with the reveal that ranboo had been regularly visiting dream in prison confirmed that dream and ender!ranboo were some sort of allies.

At the time, my assumption was that ranboo had simply made an attempted prison break. It wouldnt be a stretch to assume, if ranboo had visited regularly, that he would have noticed the poor conditions and tried to break his ally out. However, after the confirmation of the staged finale, and a better look at cdreams motivations(wanting to provide protection for punz, separating himself very publicly from his only known ally to keep them safe) the idea that enderwalk ranboo, an ally of dreams, would go against dreams explicit wishes to stay locked in that prison began making less sense.

It would only make sense if either:

enderwalk never knew about the plan or

enderwalk knew about the plan but went against it anyway

1 is a very tempting explanation. c!dream rarely lets anyone close. even punz, who knew the plan intimately, wasn't aware of dreams true motivations to bring the server back to a peaceful time before conflict. but..... it didnt sit right with me.

Two reasons for this: I know some people may have stopped watching/never watched ranboo lore, but towards the end of the prison arc, ranboo began seeing flashes of "lessons" appear on screen. These lessons all had that utilitarian and paranoid feel a lot of dreams actions/reasoning have, like "dont trust anybody"(paraphrasing, thats just what i remember the core of that message being) or "never hesitate to gain a favor from someone, you can use it to get something from them later". anyone remember technos favor to dream? It was heavily implied these lessons were meant to be from dream, directed at c!enderwalk. This would mean the two spent a significant amount of time together. not only that, dream was sharing his *life philosophy* with ender!ranboo. thats not just something dream would share with anyone, and implies a close allyship at the least. its almost like he was teaching a pupil. yeah, sure, some of his lessons were a little fucked up and weird in that dream sort of way, but he was looking out for the kid. and it seems that enderwalk wasnt hesitant to act on those lessons either. he promised to keep a shulker safe for foolish, gaining a favor, and didnt sign a single one of those prison visitation waivers, on top of sam discovering they were corrupted into enderian when he checked LMAO.

This alone would be enough to persuade me enderwalk HAD to have been let in on the plan, at least so he wouldnt cause any problems (such as trying to get his ally out of prison).

but the other reason is... ranboos stated philosophy against conflict. he doesnt like sides, he wishes they wouldn't exist. I remember watching a stream and nearly jumping out of my seat when he told chat he just wished the server could just be one big happy family! because that is nearly word for word what a bunch of loreheads were saying about dreams motivations at the time(and now obviously lmao). if we keep in mind their contact for those "lessons", ranboos visits to dream in prison, AND the fact that dreams and ranboos motivations coincide on a level even Above dream and punzs(punz seemed to have been unaware of and also not particularly motivated by dreams wish for peace) i cant really imagine dream not letting this guy in on the plan.

which leaves us with 2) ranboo tried to break dream out against dreams wishes.

Maybe ranboo was just an ally and chickened out after he saw dreams mistreatment in prison and went against the plan, but... dream missed him after sam barred him from visiting. he asked sapnap to deliver a note to ranboo(just a smiley face, likely with the hopes of triggering an enderwalk) despite fearing for his ally punz enough to lock himself in prison. it feels reminicent to how dream sounds when he comments on george not visiting him once. like he missed a friend despite trying so hard to separate himself from the ones he'd had.

Maybe ranboo tried to break in because he saw a friend being mistreated, and couldn't leave the plan stand.

And that kind of makes sense doesn't it? that dream, someone whos paranoid about how peoples connection to him puts them in danger, would choose an amnesiac who spends most of their time terrified of dream, and wouldnt remember any of his plans or their friendship to use against either of them in the first place?

[harmonized-disarray]

the things im reading here are really saddening.. this week's episode was a really good one, it finally unraveled the mystery surrounding one of the main characters, and also explained how we got to where we are now. It was fun, it was emotional and it was intense. as well as a declaration of intentions for the characters.

agatha and billy are now standing on equal ground. they're seeing each other face to face (mostly. because there's still more agatha backstory to discover) in the sense that the sigil is broken, the jig is up, and even though at this point they both have issues with each other, they know they still have to work together to get through the road. It's a mutually beneficial treuce.

This happening now is necessary to lay the groundwork for their actual development. Agatha being visibly pissed at him but still telling him he is a witch?? And a survivor?? That's such an interesting fucking moment!!! It's an interesting dynamic and it's so well done!!

It's episode 6! Which means there are still three whole episodes left. Have you people not watched the mid season trailer? (If you actually haven't I won't say anything specific but read at your own risk) the show is still about agatha. It's been about agatha (all along [i couldn't resist.]) Come on now, haven't you all watched wandavision either? It's the same people doing this show and the structure is pretty similar. Have a little faith.

I get wanting to see your favorite characters and their every interaction but that's actually not what the show is about. Is Rio a crucial character of this story and her relationship with agatha a huge deal on this show? Of course. But so is Billy. That's why we needed this episode, because he is important to the story and to agatha herself.

I don't know. To me it's just pretty obvious that the whole thing with Agatha and her past is going to be the big BIG emotional climax because it is the big BIG foundation that makes Agatha, Agatha. It's quite literally the point. To know how Agatha got here, what she wants, what she's willing to give up, to do, in order to get it. Whether she can actually be good or not. Whether this is a redemption story or not. Whether she changes, if the road changes her this time. Whether she forgives Rio or not. Hell, even if she lives or dies. This is what the show is about. Every episode has shown us a different part of Agatha up until now, even this one. And so, the remaining episodes will be the same. They'll be the answer, just like this episode was the answer to Billy's questions (who is, again, crucial to the story, Agatha as a character and a part of the coven). And I believe that will include the coven's history, rio, nicholas, and of course Agatha.

[Also, i find being upset about the heart a little silly. The note had a black heart that symbolized Billy because due to the sigil, he couldn't say his name to the others, Lilia could not write a name she couldn't know or remember. To AGATHA (and the viewers) the black heart symbolized Rio, because that's what black hearts remind her of. That's why she had such a visceral reaction to it, why she hid it from 'teen' and refused to accept it. BOTH things are true and that's fine. It's good writing because it made sense back in episode 2. It makes sense now in episode 6. And it was never an actual lie.]

[slytherinstories]

Resisting You PT.2

Description: Mattheo Riddle a known player and flirt has his sights on you. You two couldn't be more opposite: him only wanting casual flings and you wanting a relationship. Its a disaster when you start developing feelings and he finds out about them. You try everything in you to resist giving in to him knowing he can't be what you want, but how long until your desire consumes you?

Make sure to read part one first! This is going to be a couple part series so be patient for the smut this is a bit of a slow burner. Follow for more stories and I am open for requests.

>>> PT.3

18+, angst, smut, manipulative mattheo

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Since your encounter in the library you have done everything to avoid Mattheo which is proving to be impossible since he is everywhere. The last few weeks have been absolute hell as despite your insistence you don't want a fling with him he hasn't left you alone. Since he found out you did in fact like him he has been nothing but smug and even though you didn't think it was possible his teasing has gotten worse. Unlike in the past when you wore your mask of indifference he sees straight through it now and you hate how he knows the effect he has on you. You can't even get through a class without him whispering something in your ear or touching you in subtle ways which leaves you thinking about him for days.

He knows it as well, that he has wormed his way into your mind, your gaze is drawn to him in every room and you swear he can read your thoughts sometimes. You don't know how he has turned you into this flustered mess every time he is around but you hate him for it. You hate how he plagues every waking moment with a desire you cant satiate. You used to wish to feel like this, how all your friends did with their boyfriends but now you would do anything to not need the one boy that could ruin your heart. You have never even craved someone sexually before so this is whole new territory a plunge into lust completely unfamiliar to you. You feel like you are drowning in his intoxicating energy. Masturbating only intensifies the feeling making you feel even more lonely and your thoughts stray back to his comment 'if you knew how I could make you feel you wouldn't be able to stay away from me.' Have you made the wrong decision?

If you didn't have feelings this would all be so much easier, you could sleep with him and be done with it, satisfying your body but you know it will never be as simple as that. Why can't it be though? Your body tries to find a loophole, any reason to let yourself have him. Everyone else has flings so why can't you? Then there is the flicker of hope even though you know its stupid that perhaps if you sleep with him he may eventually want more but as your past has taught you that is a recipe for heartbreak.

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Mattheo has always been determined but even Y/N is testing his strength. It has been 3 weeks now since the library. 3 fucking weeks and she still hasn't gave in. 3 weeks he has touched himself every day imagining her underneath him. Around her he has his usual cocky demeanor but little does she know how he can't get her out of his head. Not even just sexually either he has always desired her but since she has started avoiding him he misses her presence, the friendship they had. He doesn't get to see any more of those warm smiles directed at him or her inquisitive questions. He sees how much space she took up in his life and without her, he searches for anything to fill it.

She is clearly running from her feelings, putting as much distance between the two to try and forget him. He originally thought cornering her at every chance, whispering those dirty words into her ear would make her snap so she would come to him but it only seems to be driving her away more. He probably would have gave up by now, finding another girl to chase but there is something about her that he can't let go of.

His confidence starts to falter and his mind for the first time entertains the thought of what if she actually doesn't want me? What if I can't have her? Her one requirement was a relationship he thinks about pretending he will try so he can sleep with her and be done with these incessant thoughts but he couldn't do that to her. Maybe another girl but not Y/N. Would dating her be so bad? He shakes his head at the thought inwardly squirming at the thought of someone depending on him.

Clearly he is getting no closer to his goal so maybe its time to switch things up. Give her a taste of her own medicine and see if she really doesn't want him.

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You settle into DADA already dreading the moment Mattheo arrives, having to sit in your assigned seat next to him. You wonder how he is going to taunt you today and you pray he goes easy on you as you are nearing your breaking point, not sure how much longer you can push down these feelings. They have swarmed your mind, taking away any logic to the point you are even considering just fucking him once to get him out your system. For fucks sake when did you start thinking like a boy.

You hear the door open and you turn around watching him walk in laughing with Theo and despite yourself you stare, as always captivated by his smile. He walks over and takes his seat not even glancing at you. Your brows furrow but you turn your attention back to your book. Waiting for snape in silence with him was torture, you clearly not used to this version of him as by now he would already be incessantly flirting. Your knee bounces under the table and you can't stop the words spilling out 'hey.'

He glances over to you 'Hi' he says bluntly. What is up with him. 'You okay?'

'Mhm' he looks back at his book doodling.

'You don't seem like yourself are you mad at me or something?'

'Why would I be mad at you?'

'I don't know your just...'

He looks over a dead look in his eye and raises his eyebrows 'I am what? Not flirting you wanted me to leave you alone didn't you?' There is no longer that playful gleam he has and it sends a pang right through your heart. Your mouth opens and closes not knowing what to say. He turns his attention back to his notebook and you turn facing the front of the class as snape walks in. The whole class he doesn't even look at you once and despite your prayers he would stop you are suddenly filled with an emptiness.

After the lesson finishes he goes over to some blonde girl in your year whispering in her ear causing her to giggle. They walk out flirting and you just stand there with your jaw dropped as Pansy walks over to you. 'What the hell was that about.'

'I... I dont know he didn't speak to me all lesson.' She sees the hurt in your eyes and links your arm taking you out of the class. You know you have no right to be annoyed you have been avoiding him and telling him to leave you alone for weeks. You don't know what is worse his undivided attention or lack of it. It feels wrong seeing it directed onto another girl especially after months of you being his sole focus but you guess he has finally gotten bored of the chase. A part of you screams mine, mine, mine, even when you know the soul crushing reality you are in where he will never be anybody's.

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For the rest of the week he is the exact same towards you, cutting you out of his life like you were nothing. The heartbreak threatens to keep you in bed but Pansy being the best friend refuses to see you like that. So you go through the motions every day with two states at war within you. There is still the festering desire, the pull to him and a need to experience just how 'good' he can make you feel, but there is also the part of you grieving, the realization you can never have him. Too many times you have entertained the thoughts of settling for sex its better to have any piece of him then this nothingness, not even friendship. At least you would still have his attention but you would fear the day he decides to drop you for a new conquest. You were so close to giving in but now it seems he doesn't even want you anymore and your pride will not have you begging. You refuse to chase another boy, the walls you have built up to avoid vulnerability thankfully stop you from acting on your destructive choices.

Avoiding your friend group at the off chance of seeing Mattheo with some girl on his lap you venture to other parts of the castle like the astronomy tower. You sit looking at the view of course thinking about him and are startled when you hear someone walk up. You turn around and breathe a sigh of relief seeing Theo.

'Hey you long time no see.'

I smile softly 'Hey Theo sorry just been busy.'

He walks over taking a seat next to me on the ledge 'Nah I don't buy that.'

'Huh?'

'You are avoiding us or someone actually' he raises his eyebrows knowingly. For someone so ditzy he has always been far too observational for my liking. Mattheo is his best friend though I guess. 'What the fuck happened between you two' He says pulling out a joint to smoke.

'Who' you ask weakly looking drained.

'Come on don't give me that I know there was something going on between you two I have only got half the story from him.'

You sigh 'Y/N you can barely be in the same room as him for two seconds.'

'I don't know Theo it's all just so fucked' he offers you the joint and you shake your head.

'You like him yeah?'

You nod 'so what's the problem then?'

'I like him but he doesn't like me back he just want's a fling or something casual and I know I will just end up with my heart broke so I am not even going there.'

He nods 'yeah he told me as much, you were fine for weeks though why aren't you talking?'

'That's what I don't get out of nowhere he just ignores me and is all over that fucking blonde girl' you scrunch your nose in disgust 'guess he got bored of me.'

He snorts 'Ah it makes sense now' he exhales the smoke and you wait for him to carry on 'he isn't bored of you love trust me, he likes you more then he is letting on.'

'It doesn't seem like it he hasn't even looked at me.'

He stares at me for awhile contemplating something 'Promise you won't tell him I told you this he will kill me' you nod your head in confirmation 'he said something about giving you a taste of your own medicine he is probably just trying to get your attention another way trust me I have tried it plenty of times.'

'Wait what?'

'Trust me he isn't done with you yet I have never seen him this obsessed and he wouldn't just let go of you that easily.'

'That bastard' you say causing Theo to chuckle. 'Right I will leave you to it' he says seeing you deep in thought 'promise you wont let him push you away though I have missed you' he nudges your shoulder.

'I know I wont, thanks Theo.'

'You coming the party tonight? You best be.'

'Mhm Pansy is forcing me either way' you laugh. 'I will see you there.'

'Bye Doll' he says going back, leaving you to your thoughts. You would have never seen through his little act, when he wants to act cold he is fucking good at it. You can't help the thrill that goes through you at the thought he isn't done with you completely but at the same time it doesn't change anything. One thing it has brought you clarity on is that you love him chasing you, despite your protests you looked forward to his flirting and attention. It was intense and disorientating half of you craving him the other half doing what you thought was right. You have so many self imposed rules you would have never dared to break but what if instead of fighting the waves you let yourself be submerged in them. What if you indulged in all you have been uselessly holding yourself back from. You have always been too self disciplined, too restrained. Fun is a foreign words to you and perhaps he could be the awakening to life beyond rules.

You have always been competitive, now its time to beat him at his own game. Two can play at that Matty.

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You sit at the party with a new found energy and confidence in you. You sit with the group not caring about whatever girl he decides to drag over tonight. Unlike the last week when the hurt was evident all over your face you have an unbothered aura, not even giving him the attention of a glance. He must have sensed the difference because you feel his gaze all over you. You are drinking a bit more then usual which you attribute to your new mindset and mostly the nerves. You look around at the table in front of you and frown as all the bottles are empty. You ask the boys if they have any alcohol left and they shake their head. 'Shit that was all we had how have we drank it all' Theo complains.

'Probably Y/N' Mattheo adds in angrily 'She has drank near enough a whole bottle to herself.'

'Excuse me I am sharing with Pansy' you cross your arms glaring at him.

'Yeah and you shouldn't be drinking that much as it is' you just roll your eyes at him.

Draco looks around the room seeing the Gryffindor's with plenty bottles to spare 'fuck sake of course they have some like they will give us any.'

Of course being the only single girl in the group everyone's head turns to you 'What?' you ask. 'But they might give it to you Y/N' Draco implies. I choke out a laugh 'You want me to go steal their drinks?'

'Come on you know Cormac has always had a thing for you I am sure he will be more then willing to share' Theo chuckles.

'Only if you are comfortable Y/N' Blaise ever the gentleman adds.

'No fucking way she isn't flirting with that creep so you can have some drinks' Mattheo says angrily.

Annoyance runs through you not wanting to listen to Mattheo, and you realize this could perfectly work for your plan. 'No I want to I don't mind him and I am not sitting here sober all night'

'Atta girl' Theo says as Mattheo goes to protest 'Y/N!' But you walk off ignoring him.

You walk over to were the Gryffindors are sat and they all look over Cormac beaming brightly 'Y/N hey!'

'Hey Cormac how are you?' You sit next to him smiling. You aren't the best at flirting but you hope the fact he likes you will be enough.

'I am very good even better now, so what brings you over here?'

'Well we have run out of drinks and I happened to see you have a few bottles over here you wouldn't mind sharing a few would you?' you give him your best doe eyed look.

'Let me guess for your Slytherin friends, I would be happy to give you some but they don't deserve any' he glares over at them. You touch his arm gently 'I know they can be dickheads but just think of doing it for me' you pull out your sweetest smile 'please Cormac I would owe you one.'

He smiles at you and you know you have won him over 'Fine but you owe me yeah? How about you repay me with a date?'

Cormac isn't that bad he gets a bit of a bad credit but he has never been pushy with you so you just pretend in your head like you are going out with a friend. You obviously aren't interested but you know how disappointed they will be if you go back with nothing. 'I don't know about a date but how about we go for coffee to start with?' He looks a bit disappointed but still smiles 'Okay sure, take as much as you need' he points to the table. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him in for a hug 'you are the best thank you.' You take two bottles of firewhisky 'I will catch up with you later bye' you say running off.

You wave the bottles as you walk over to the group and Theo picks you up in a hug 'that's our girl' you giggle and pour yourself a drink. You notice Mattheo raging and a thrill goes through you at the look in his eyes. 'So what did you have to promise him' Pansy asks knowing him well 'Erm nothing he just gave me them' you say lying but she knows straight away. 'You liar tell me.'

You roll your eyes 'just coffee but I would have went anyway.' She laughs 'well thanks we owe you one now.'

You sit talking and laughing almost forgetting about Mattheo. You announce you are going the toilet and you make your way to them before someone grabs your wrist pulling you to face them. Of course it is him.

'What are you doing?' You say a bit startled.

'What the fuck was that what do you think your doing with Cormac?'

You try pulling your wrist back but he pushes you against the wall so you can't move. 'Mind your fucking business, what have you decided to talk to me today?'

He clenches his jaw 'Do you like him?'

'Seriously?'

'Do. You. Like. Him.' He says dangerously slow. You look away but he pulls your chin to face him and you grit out 'No I don't.'

'So you fucking promised him a date?'

'It isn't a date its coffee and what does it have to do with you?'

'You are not going I will tell him myself.'

'You can't tell me what to do, who...'

'Yes I can princess' He says interrupting you putting his hand around your throat softly which momentarily shuts you up. He smirks as you go quiet. 'I think you like me telling you what to do' he cocks his head staring down at you. A blush rises on your cheeks and you are just glad for the dark room.

'No I don't' you say but it sounds weaker then you intended. You push his chest trying to create space but he just moves closer his hand caressing your cheek and the other on your waist 'Still resisting me sweetheart?'

'Thought you were done with me anyway' you say trying to sound nonchalant but it came out more bitter.

He smirks 'you didn't like it did you? My attention not being yours, you can play hard to get all you want but I know you will always think of me.'

You glare at him 'Is that what that little stunt with Cormac was, and this little dress you trying to get my attention love?'

'You are so full of yourself not everything is about you!'

'Oh but I think it is' he plays with the hem of your dress 'It is all a sad little attempt to get me to think of you again isn't it.'

You snort 'Like you ever stopped.'

He smiles 'Mhm your quite right, you know I haven't been able to fuck another girl all I can think about is you' he says huskily.

You narrow your eyes 'your lying.'

'No love I am really not I fucking wish I was, I can't get you out of my head' He says seriously his head dropping down to yours. 'Now be honest' he tilts your face up until your noses are basically touching 'have you been thinking about me?'

Before thinking, the alcohol taking over 'yeah' you say seductively.

'I knew it I could see it in your eyes every time you looked at me. You know hard it was staying away from your pretty face.'

'Why did you then' you ask looking a bit hurt. 'You kept telling me to leave you alone so I thought I would see if you really wanted me to. I love a chase but you kicked my ego a bit there.'

'I missed you Matt' you hold his hand stroking your cheek and he rests his forehead against your, eyes closed. 'I know gorgeous I missed you too, you really think I would let you go that easy?' He chuckles wickedly.

'Why do I still want you so much its not fair Matt why can't you like me back then you could have me.'

'Fucks sake love, you know that isn't the issue I am never going to be the man you want I will eventually fuck things up anyway its best we just keep it casual.'

'You like me?' You ask bemused never even thinking that was a possibility. He laughs 'Isn't it obvious?'

'No Matt not really I thought it was only about sex for you.'

'Yeah, yeah it was but... I don't know its different with you I would have gave up a long fucking time ago if it weren't.'

You huff 'I don't get it then why can't we just date I am not asking for your hand in marriage I just don't want you to use me and throw me away when you are done.'

'It never would have been that. You are mine. Whether you like it or not.'

Your core tightened at those words but he doesn't have to know that. You huff 'I am not yours you don't just get to decide that. And how do I know you wont get bored and leave after you get what you want.'

'I could never get bored of you, trust me once I fuck you I am not letting go and you wont want anyone else.'

'I bet you say that to every girl.'

He groans 'You are the most stubborn person I have ever met.'

'I am not stubborn I just don't fall for your false promises.'

'You are never going to believe me, you really think I would do that to you just throw you away when I am satisfied?'

'You have done that to plenty other girls.'

'You are not other girls haven't I proved that. Yes I may have been a dick but I care about you I don't know what you have done but I feel things I shouldn't.'

You sigh also realizing that no matter how much he reassures you that he isn't just using you for your body you will never believe him. You can stand here going in circles but the only way you will find out is if you take the risk which is something your heart is terrified to do. You slowly start seeing it was never a fear of something casual but only being seen as an object, discarded after you served your purpose. You know he will never give you a relationship and your heart hurts at the fact you have to sacrifice that, but isn't it enough he likes you too? It kills you that he is scared for anything more but you see he is trying in his own way, offering you all he knows.

'What are you thinking love' he says looking tortured pulling you from your thoughts. He must see your walls crumbling as a gleam fills his eyes and he moves even closer if that was possible. You already know you have made up your mind but you aren't making it that easy for him.

You pull him in for a kiss which stuns him for a second before he brings one hand to your face and the other your waist pulling you flush against his chest. He deepens the kiss and your hands tangle in his hair causing a low moan to escape his mouth. It gets more and more passionate, his tongue swirling with yours until you pull away gasping for breathe. Why the fuck didn't you do that sooner.

'Your never getting away from me now' he says pulling you back in before pulling away and placing kisses down your neck as you flutter your eyes closed. You are so entangled in one another, weeks worth of desire being released you don't hear someone enter the corridor until you hear a loud cough. You pull away from Mattheo gasping but the grip on your waist remains firm. Across from you is Pansy and Theo smirking.

'So that is were you two went' she laughs 'I was getting worried.' You pull away from him completely attempting to smooth your hair down.

'Back at it again then' Theo raises his brows, Mattheo smirks and you mutter 'Shut up Theo' causing him to chuckle. Pansy your saving grace stopping you from going too fast says 'I am going to bed you coming?'

'Yeah lets go' you walk over to her quickly linking your arms.

'Y/N...'

'Night Matty, night Theo see you tomorrow' you say and quickly walk off with Pansy.

As you get to your room she squeals 'Girl fucking tell me everything now...'

[rovingotter]

I started writing my own version of the Honda Odyssey scene from Deadpool & Wolverine but I probably won't develop into an entire story so I'm just putting it up here. Canon-typical violence/gore.

Logan had just jammed his claws straight through Wade’s skull, into his brain, and out the other side.  Which was rude.  Wade’s vision went fuzzy and then totally dark, and half his body went limp—it was temporary, he knew, but it was always a little unnerving.  Logan had also decided to be extra rude and entirely miss his frontal lobe, so he could still think about how hurt he was by Logan’s mean-spirited rant.

Couldn’t even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper.

Also, he was dragging Vanessa into this? Hello? Not cool.

They were probably getting a lot of blood on the seats.  Whatever.  It wasn’t his car.

Wade’s right arm still worked, so he fumbled for Baby Knife, yanked it out, and plunged it in what he hoped was the direction of Logan’s face, though it probably wouldn’t make it through his stupid adamantium-enhanced skull.  To his pleasant surprise, however, the knife encountered very little resistance.  There was a roaring scream and then a rubbery pop which let him know he’d gotten Logan right through the eye.

Ha! 

He angled it upward, making it harder for Logan to pull away, and Logan jerked.

Logan went still, panting.  Wade was on his back, on the backseat, and Logan was on top of him, crushingly heavy, damp with sweat, chest heaving.  He spoke slowly, through clenched teeth, every word a strain:  “Get—your knife—out—my fuckin’ head.”

“You first, honeypie.”  Wade was kind of impressed that either one of them could still talk.  Though he was kind of having trouble remembering how they’d gotten into this situation.  They were in a car, and Logan was mean.  That was all he could say for sure.

Logan’s claws were still stuck through Wade’s head, Wade’s movements still jerky and uncoordinated, his vision still absent due to the two-inch-thick wedge of adamantium which was very rudely skewering his visual cortex, but he had a good grip on the knife, most of which was now inside Logan’s skull.  And he wasn’t feeling very charitable.  So he wiggled it around.

Logan gasped.  He tried to pull back, jerked again, and went limp, grunting.  “Uh—fuck—hngh…”

Wade knew it was just pain, but those little grunts sounded distractingly porn-like.  But his anger was still strong enough to overpower his spasm of confused arousal.  “Apologize.”  Wade squeezed the word between clenched teeth.

Logan didn’t answer.

Wade wiggled the knife harder, up and down and side to side, feeling its edges scrape against Logan’s eye socket.  “Say it!”

Still no response.  Logan had gone worryingly limp on top of him, and Wade was starting to wonder if he’d made a mistake.  Logan’s brain regenerated just like Wade’s, sure, but brain regeneration wasn’t always as neat or clean as the rest of the body.  Sometimes memories would be fuzzy or missing afterward.  Also, he didn’t fully understand how well Logan’s brain regenerated.  And he’d just pureed Logan’s whole left frontal lobe.  It probably looked like a meat smoothie now.  It was probably leaking out. What if he didn't get better? What if he turned into a feral beast-man and ran off into the woods to live in harmony with nature? Or started shitting his pants? What if Wade had just broken the Wolverine and he couldn't ever move or talk again? No, no, he was fine. This was fine.

Wade groaned.  “Fuck.”

Logan’s claws were still in Wade’s skull, and Wade still couldn’t move his other arm.  Or either of his legs.  Or see.

“Logan…”  He gulped.  “Logan.  We’ll both pull out on three, okay?”  No response.  “Okay?”

Logan made a weird, whimpery little noise. 

“Peanut.  Hey. Can you hear me?  Can you understand me?”

“N-not…good.”

“Pull out.  Just pull out.  Okay? One—two—three!”

Logan’s claws slid out of Wade’s skull with a shhhk. 

“Agh!  Fuck!” he panted.

Wade tried to pull out the knife, but it was in pretty deep, and trying to remove it was more awkward than he’d anticipated, especially without the use of his own vision, which was returning more slowly than he'd hoped.  Logan growled and jerked back before Wade could manage to maneuver the blade free.

“Logan…”  Wade tried to sit up and flopped back down.  His body felt like a bag of mashed potatoes and his vision—though now returning—was foggy.  He reached out, groping at empty air.

Where was Logan?

Wade paused to catch his breath and give his neurons a chance to knit back together.  His head throbbed, dull hammer-blows in the back of his skull. Nausea rolled over him, then faded.

Slowly, he sat up.  This time, his limbs obeyed him and held.

The car was drenched in blood, the seats stained beyond any hope of cleaning, there were little chunks of pink stuff here and there, and Logan was nowhere to be seen.

Wade, still shaky and uncoordinated, climbed out of the car, landing in a heap on the ground.  Logan was sitting a short distance away, on the dirt, staring blankly into space, Wade's knife still jutting out of his ruined eye. He was breathing heavily.  Blood, dirt and sweat stained his suit.

“You know you can just pull the knife out yourself,” Wade said.

Logan didn’t react.  His remaining eye was wide open, glassy.  He was drooling a little.

Wade crept toward him.  He started to reach out.  Logan flinched back.

“Whoa.  Hey.  It’s okay.  I’m just gonna take this out.  It’ll only hurt for a sec.”  He could already see Logan’s squished eye trying to regenerate, but it was healing around the blade—which would, of course, make it extra unpleasant to remove, but such was life.

He gripped the hilt. Then, bracing himself, he yanked the knife out.  Fast, like pulling off a band-aid.  Logan roared loud enough to startle a nearby flock of crows out of a tree. They flew off into the sky, cawing.

Wade started to wipe the blade off on Logan’s suit, then changed his mind and wiped it off on his own. It was red, anyway.  Logan blinked at him, breathing heavily, as his eye slowly knitted itself back together.

"Do you know your name?" Wade said.

After a pause, he muttered, "Logan." He swallowed. "I...I'm Logan."

"Do you know my name?"

"Wade."

"Good. Now count backwards from ten," Wade said. "And then list every prime minister in reverse alphabetical order. And tell me the square root of pi divided by nine."

"Fuck off."

"You're gonna be fine."

[pannman]

Sleeping Together

Platonic!Lucifer x fennec fox Reader, slight platonic! Angel Dust x reader at the end. Let me know If you want part 2 I have some cool ideas for more

Cw: awkward situations ig, I'm aroace so I like unconventional platonic relationships, some swearing and suggestiveness from Angel

Being a small fennec fox demon wasn't easy. You were known for your small size and cuteness. So you were often seen as easy prey. But you also were so cute and incredibly soft that many couldn't resist touching you. You were used to it to some degree. But for some reason you still didn't see this coming.

It was the middle of the night and you had snuck out of your room and crept through the hotel to grab yourself a midnight snack. You were startled by the sound of someone entering the kitchen and discovered it was Lucifer (looking incredibly sleep deprived). You apologized immediately. "Oh sorry I was just grabbing a snack" you explained. "Sometimes I get cravings at night. I woke up a couple times tonight and couldn't get food off my mind maybe cause-" you stopped after realizing that not only was Lucifer not listening but he was staring at you like he was in a sleepy trance.

Not quite aware of what he was doing he kneeled down a bit and reached his hand towards you. He began petting you on the head and behind the ears. You at first were frozen unable to think of what to do before you melted at the touch of being petted. It was a weakness of yours. Before you knew it he had you in his arms carrying you off while scratching behind your ear. He took you into his room and petted you on his bed. He could not stop yawning. You were too comfortable to question what was going on and Lucifer was too tired and distracted to realize what he was doing

You woke up cozily tucked into Lucifer's arms before memories came flooding back and you tried to wiggle free. Lucifer woke up with a moan and noticed his hold on you before releasing you in a panic. "OHHHhhh. My gosh! I'm so sorry... this is-this is weird. I've never done this before" he was extremely apologetic and embarrassed. You calmed yourself and even though it was awkward quickly realized he was being genuine. "It's alright. Let's-let's just try and pretend this never happened" you said trying to make it less awkward. "Yes. Well um... yeah that's probably for the best"

Though you guys acted weird around each other all day it seemed like it was gonna stay in the past. That is until you got a knock at your door at 3 am. You opened it to see Lucifer with bags under his eyes with a nervous expression. "Hi, I hope I didn't wake you..." Lucifer began cautiously. "Whats going on?" You asked. "Look, i know we said we'd pretend like it never happened but I actually have never slept that good in my life. I... I don't sleep the greatest. Especially not since Lilith left. I tried really hard to put it outta mind tonight but I couldn't help it. I was wondering if... if..." He fumbled and turned red with embarrassment and you of course caught on to what he was trying to ask

"A sleepover every now and then couldn't hurt" you agreed careful with your wording as to not make either of you more uncomfortable. "But, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. No hanky panky, no dinner dates" you spoke clearly and strictly. "Wouldn't dream of it. Sooo... platonic?" He responded. "Platonic" you confirmed.

"Also, let's keep this between you and me" you stated. You didn't want people at the hotel (Angel) cracking jokes and you didn't want them to get the wrong idea either. It was something better kept private you thought. Lucifer nodded "of course"

That night led to many others. You and Lucifer spent so many nights together that you started to develop a strong bond. It was an odd relationship but you were grateful for it. That was until one glorious morning you awoke bright and early (as you usually did to avoid suspicion) and you crept out of Lucifer's room so you could head back to your own but as you closed Lucifer's door behind you heard a certain someone catch you in act.

"Wow, never thought you and the big dick in charge would be a thing" Angel grinned as you sighed and turned around to face him. "So how long you two been getting frisky? Man the broads are gonna flip" you wanted to slap him but unfortunately you couldn't reach. "It's not like that" you tried to explain. "Oh please, you sneaking out of his room early in the morning in your jammies? You think I'm fuckinh dense?" He questioned and you let out a heavy sigh realizing you had to tell him the truth or things would get very awkward soon.

You relayed the whole thing onto him. You hoped he would believe you. You knew this was definitely unconventional so you weren't sure. Finally you finished telling him what was going on and how it happened. "Soo... you guys just been sleeping together bit ACTUALLY sleeping?" He sounded surprised but it seemed like he believe you. "Yes" you answered with relief. "...All because you're like... this magical cure for insomnia?" He sounded a bit off when he asked that and you weren't sure why. "Yeah I guess... I don't know..."

"Can I give it a try?"

[foreignswaggersession]

Thank you for your IWTV posts and clearing up misconceptions. Tbh I wouldn't be so annoyed if people weren't constantly determined to do as many bad faith readings as possible when it came to Louis and Armand's relationship. Like of course it was a very flawed and very complicated relationship, we know this! But it's so obvious when a fan is making a post about how it was "completely loveless and devoid of sexual intimacy" solely so their own otp could look better. So many examples that others have already pointed out, including that one take about Louis disliking the first TVD performance, so this means that he hates theater in general and prefers Lestat over Armand (excuse me, what?)

Also more than one person trying to say how loumand had more PDA and not just for Daniel in the Dubai interview. But that this meant "every affectionate gesture between them to ever happen including Paris was just for performance" and was not truly genuine compared to what was with Lestat? Um no shit, Louis and Lestat had more of their love scenes behind closed doors. But also consider the context with how things were in NOLA and Louis having to pose as another person (brother, business partner, etc) because of rumors surrounding him and his lover. How due to racial discrimination he couldn't even get into an opera house without playing Lestat's servant. Then skip forward to the 1940s when he believed he can actually be comfortable doing this openly "Paris was a formative sexual liberation", with him having those casual relationships with other men while cruising. To kissing and being affectionate with Armand in public and not give a damn who is watching or if he's being heckled for it. This isn't even trying to reduce Louis' previous relationships either or say they're less important, more that Louis' comfort with how he expressed his own sexuality and romantic gestures developed over time.

As for Dreamstat... guys he's an extension of Louis' inner thoughts (a complex mixture of emotions before Louis was ready to enter a new relationship), but he wasn't present during loumand sex scenes either... and Louis certainly wasn't having sex with Armand just for Dreamstat to watch??

Despite already knowing what's "endgame" some people still can't allow even a single moment of love, attraction and vulnerability between loumand to just exist without twisting it into something else, or making it actually about Lestat or Daniel while propping up their preferred pairing. good lord, I'm tired of this.

🥰thanks anon! i'm not as familiar with tv fandom so maybe i'm not understanding why people are so resistant to acknowledging louis's attraction to armand (even pre-claudia's murder) when they were together in canon. like in both the show and the book (and not in a future book, devil's minion stans). since when are people not allowed to enjoy different relationships at different times? i think it's silly to ignore or misrepresent whole sections of the plot just to feel like your favorite ship is the more romantic(?) or healthier (😂) ship, i guess? but yeah, recognizing any romance or attraction between louis and armand (especially from louis towards armand) makes some people angry, as though it undermines armand's abuse or any future relationship either party will have.

not much to add to what you said - the majority of fans only care about louis to the extent he cares about lestat, so they focus on dreamstat/lestat scenes in s2 and ignore the many scenes without him. then there are fans that can't let go of their s1 headcanons that conflict with new information from s2 (louis tops sometimes. it's just a fact now. please stop being weird about it.) i also hate the refusal to engage with louis's repeated statements about his changing relationship to his sexuality over time. his sexual preferences are not stuck in 1910, and i don't agree with pathologizing louis topping or having sex with men besides lestat (if you're not into it, just say that, but don't act like there's no evidence for louis enjoying a different sex life in the show).

i'm not a solo shipper and i love thinking about louis so it's not hard for me to imagine louis in multiple relationships (and in various positions 🥵), and lucky for me i get to see that on screen! cause that's what the show is about actually! louis! the titular vampire.

[cambriancrew]

@mandellaeffect

So. It's been several days since this, but we still want to reply. We wrote out a long thing, Tumblr ate it, we rewrote it by hand, and we're just now getting around to typing it up.

And fair warning. We can't talk in depth about this interview and why we said what we said without also talking about the abuse we experienced from our ex. We'll keep it general and nonspecific as much as possible, but please just know, it was REALLY bad. Much worse than what we talk about here. Like we still have PTSD from it bad.

Also it may help to read the AMA we did on Reddit after this interview came out.

So. Our ex believed we either had DID or were demon possessed, and had very ableist views about DID that he used to threaten us with - believed we were dangerous to be around, for instance - and threatened us with involuntarily commitment. He also tried to prevent us from seeing any therapist or mental health care provider other than the extremely bigoted, very out of date pastor/counselor of the church we went to and that our husband worked at.

We worried that he was right, that we might fit the criteria for OSDD-1 because of our failing relationship with him.

But, in all honesty, our relationship had been falling apart for awhile, because he was abusive - obsessed with being the perfect fundamentalist Christian couple, bigotry and all. He tried to make us Crew stop being friends with people who weren't Christians, and people who were queer. He tried to dictate what books we could read - no more science fiction and fantasy even though that's the genre we write and even wrote together with him, or psychiatry books even though we worked in a geri-psych nursing home and what we read was relevant. Tried to dictate what we watched on TV and what games we could play - even though he was a huge Star Wars fan and that has huge Buddhist underpinnings, and played Dungeons and Dragons online a lot which he made us swear never to tell anyone because they might think it was demonic - hypocrite much?

He even got upset that we were talking to people about the issues we were having - he called it "emotionally cheating", regardless of the fact we talked with people we had zero romantic interest in - like our own mother.

Anyway. We DID get a different therapist. And something he said helped a LOT with our concerns about having DID. He said our issues with our husband stemmed from his controlling behavior and emotional and verbal abuse, not our plurality - because after all, there's no mental illness called "supports queer people" nor "prefers to read speculative fiction and books on psychiatry" nor "confides in trusted friends about difficulties".

That said. Our therapist and his overseeing psychiatrist did talk with us about what our husband was pressuring us to do: try to get rid of all of the non-Willows. We had a lot of long, tense discussions about this with our system, and knew exactly what would happen if we tried.

We Willows would have been locked away from the front. Jas, Varyn, and Aery would have taken over as primary fronters, and we knew they'd have no problem with that based on our experiences with playing tug of war for front with them. Without us Willows, we may have developed memory issues, especially if we Willows fought back or resisted. This also would have caused us significant stress which would have triggered our fibromyalgia, and may easily have gotten to the point we would have to stop working because we physically couldn't handle it. And undoubtedly it would have caused us social issues as well, because those three can't mimic us Willows well at all, and prefer to be overt anyway, and probably would have used that to put extra pressure on our husband John: "Sorry, you can't talk to Willow right now. I can take a message to her. When we she be back? Idk, whenever John stops being an ass."

This, per our therapist and psychiatrist, would have been enough for a dx of DID or at bare minimum OSDD-1 - and then our ex would have had a much easier time getting us involuntarily committed. (As he did actually try. Got the state involved and there was a court case and everything.)

Because being endogenic and having tulpas is not what defines whether you have DID/OSDD-1 or not - it's whether there's distress or dysfunction. Doesn't have to be constant, doesn't have to be severe, just has to be present enough to make it harder to function.

Also, we've been in therapy from that time till now, for our depression and PTSD. Those cause us distress and dysfunction. Being plural doesn't - it eases our distress and increases our ability to function. We get worse when we Willows try to do everything on our own.

Also? Tulpas absolutely ARE endogenic - they aren't caused by trauma, and that's all endogenic means.

And. We were not told by Reddit that our headmates are tulpas. When we stumbled on the community, we recognized that what we had done in creating our headmates unintentionally was the same things people in the community were doing on purpose.

We remember sitting down and coming up with the idea of Jas. We remember learning to hear her, in vague images and ideas at first, then longer and longer full conversations. We remember the thrill of first hearing her interrupt our thoughts. We used to have several notebooks and binders full of written down conversations between us, with us Willows doing all the writing for the most part but on occasion Jas would take over just enough to write her own notes - in her own handwriting, different from us Willows' handwriting. We remember meditating to improve our ability to hear her. We remember visiting her in the paracosm, and her visiting us at our writing desk and on the school bus and sitting next to us at church. We remember her creating Varyn. We remember creating Morrie, and when he went dormant. We remember making Tristan&, and when she broke off communication with us - they'll still only talk to Jas.

Point is, we know their origins, all of them. We were there.

There's no "they were there all along." There's no "we don't know where they came from so we just assume they're endogenic." They certainly don't have roles or even the natural abilities of alters - we had to learn to talk with them, we had to learn how to let them front, we had to learn how to switch.

Some of them identify as soulbonds due e to their connection to their home worlds, but "tulpa" still fits too. Even though some of them cringe at the word, as it's uncomfortably close to a term in the paracosm's primary language for something truly heinous.

Point is, Reddit didn't try and convince us of anything. We came to that conclusion all on our own - and not just us Willows, but the whole system.

And per our mental health care team, we don't fit the criteria for a dissociative disorder. We don't even have issues with general dissociation - we score a 10 on the DES-2, and only that much because of questions directly related to plurality, like hearing voices commenting on your actions. (The eternal peanut gallery lol)

Anyway. Back to Dr. Richard Loewenstein - he was told about our origins. He didn't say that our origins were the reason we did or did not have a dissociative disorder. He said it's about distress.

And now that we've long since kicked our abusive ex to the curb (along with the church that turned on us), we don't have even interpersonal issues like we had with him and them. The people we're close to understand and support us. Our health care team supports us, and even encourages us Willows to lean on the rest of our system as that's what's healthiest for us all.

We don't have a mild case of a dissociative disorder. We're not secretly traumagenic.

We're ready and able to even fight for things our ex threatened us with, including our ability to be out at work, our ability to go through the foster-to-adopt program in our state (and our mental health care team is willing to sign off on our ability to do that), and our ability to be free from the threat of involuntary commitment to an institution.

If our ex, the pastor-counselor, several of our ex friends, state medical officials, and more couldn't find enough proof to diagnose us with DID or get us committed, (versus our therapist and the overseeing psychiatrist and our parents), then there's nothing anything y'all can say that will prove what they could not.

[supermarine-silvally]

How about... random facts about ace and yara ♥

aksjdasdkjs Portada my beloveds <3 thank youuuu honestly I could talk about them endlessly

Yara will never, EVER admit this, but she found Ace attractive from the beginning. In an objective sense, or so she would insist. She did legitimately find him irritating as well, but he's a good-looking guy-- she can't really deny that the thought crossed her mind when she first saw his picture in the newspaper Whitebeard showed her about the young upstart pirate who turned down the Seven Warlords.

The Spade Pirates took bets all throughout the development of Ace and Yara's relationship. When they would officially get together, when they would share their first kiss, when they would have their first time together, when Ace would propose, when their first kid would be born... (Ace definitely knows about their little betting pool, Yara does not)

Sometimes Ace does stuff wrong on purpose so Yara will correct him. He gets attention and she gets to feel smart, so it's a win-win.

Yara uses Ace as her personal space heater when she gets cold. She doesn't tell him that's what she's doing, but he definitely notices she becomes uncharacteristically clingy whenever they're travelling through a winter island area. Ace doesn't mind. He gets even more cuddles, so he's actually thrilled XD

I saw a post once about how Ace tends to get along really well with other characters who have daddy issues, even if neither of them are aware of that fact. And when it comes to Yara... let's just say the daddy issues vibes she gave off were so powerful that he instantly developed the strongest case of sexual/romantic attraction he had ever felt LMAO

Seriously I don't know how Yara fought off developing a crush on him for so long LOL this girl has a will of steel (but even she couldn't resist his charm in the end). She knew what he was doing to her and she hated it.

Ace refers to the day that Yara told him she loved him (which led to them sharing their first kiss) as "the best day of [his] life".

Both of them had kissed people prior to each other, but neither had been in love before. Neither of them had ever expected to fall in love, either-- or, perhaps more accurately, that anyone could ever fall in love with them.

Sometimes their method of resolving disputes (e.g. what to have for dinner) is for both of them to call Kotatsu over and whoever Kotatsu chooses wins the dispute. Kotatsu hates being put in this predicament, though, and sometimes he runs away rather than having to choose between them.

Ace carries a copy of Yara's bounty poster around with him, like he does with Luffy's. His brother and his lover are two topics he can-- and will-- talk endlessly about.

[antash]

Everything to Somebody Else (Soobin's pov)

Pairing: Non-idol! Soobin x reader, Non-idol! Taehyun x reader

Genre: Drama

Warnings: soobin's pov, toxic! soobin, bar setting, alcohol, mentions of taehyun not by name, soobin refers to taehyun as bastard (twice), mention of a crowd, implied influenced driving, possessive behavior

Synopsis: Soobin is not happy at the sight of Y/N with another man so he creates a plot. But he's confused when it doesn't go like he thought it would.

Note: i dont think you need to read the other imagines to understand; other than the original (reader pov) version. i highly recommend doing so either before or after this one. it was fun to write soobin's pov, though it wasn't originally to go as in depth of the bar night with tyun; buy what can i say 🤷‍♀️

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Soobin bitterly drank his drink as he watched Y/N interact with a brown-haired male from across the bar. He slammed the glass back onto the counter, not tearing his eyes away from the duo. Soobin hadn't talked with you since Halloween, which was around a month ago. He wasn't exactly sure what had the radio silence from Y/N, and he had become busy with his developing relationship with Moa. Soobin rolled his eyes, the mystery guy was obviously up to no good. And what kind of friend would Soobin be, if he didn't do anything. He downed the rest of his drink before another one; which he chugged as well and setting it onto a random table. He walked his way onto the dance floor, shoving past the crowd of people with his eyes focused on where Y/N was dancing with that bastard. "Y/N! It's been awhile!" he called out once he got close to the dancing pair. Soobin reached his hands out to grab at Y/N's arms, successfully pulling them away from the guy. And if the tall male internally smirked at that fact then no one needed to know. "Hi Soobin" they tried yelling over the music. "You stopped texting and responding to me!" he whined to them with a pout. Soobin knew that Y/N couldn't resist him sticking his lips out like that so he'd be driving off with them soon enough. "Yeah, I've been busy with work". He knew Y/N had to be lying. While he didn't know the extent of this type of job; was being a bartender really all that busy.? Soobin got pushed by someone in the crowd and he took the opportunity to further enter Y/N's space. He looked back in agitation partly from the action and partly from the bold-faced lie. "Are you okay?" Y/N asked, placing their hands onto the blonde's forearms. Soobin shook his head, pouting his lips out further, and adding an 'take me home' to sell the point. He couldn't help the teasing look in his eyes as the two friends had been in similar situations a few times before. Soobin would drink then Y/N would take him home and the two would spend the night together. "I can't. Where are your friends?" Y/N tried looking around the crowd on the dancefloor for his friends, who weren't there. Soobin just brushed the question off as he continued with his begging. It was odd to him that his tactic wasn't working. Before: Y/N and him would have out the bar door by now. They continued to deny each of his request to take him home even as they brought him back to the bar stools. ~ Soobin internally groaned as he saw the brown-hair male find him and Y/N at the bar. He gulped down the water that was handed to him before slumping onto the bar. Glaring at the shorter male as he talked with Y/N, the two of them acting like he wasn't sitting just some steps away. Soobin wondered how the guy had been able to find them, had he been waiting for them or had Y/N texted him. He was getting annoyed at how this night wasn't going according to his plans. ~ As Soobin was settled into the back of the taxi, he felt indignant. Y/N always took care of him, they always put him above everyone else, they always brought him back to one of their places. Who exactly was this bastard that Y/N didn't want to leave him for Soobin!? What the hell had changed in the month since Halloween!? Soobin huffed and crossed his arms as he fully sat up in the seat. He turned his head slight, only to catch the dark figure of two people hugging from the window. The sight managed to piss him off even more as he faced forward. "Pull over". "I'm sorry? What was that, Sir?" "Pull over. Or I punch the seats, the choice is yours?" Soobin said as he looked over at the driver. His eyes were cold as he stared at them, and his jaw seemed tense as he bounced his leg. The taxi stopped which allowed for the tall male to get out. He threw out a wad as he stepped outside before slamming the door. Soobin felt like he could barely hold back the anger that he was feeling as he walked back to the parking lot where his car was. He was not this development. Y/N was interested in him, Y/N was his, and Y/N was sure as hell not supposed to move on to someone else.

[angirasstuff]

Emotional departure.

Near Tankapani Road, Bhubaneswar.

All day, I had been overwhelmed by the thought of leaving this place. I had fallen deeply in love with it. I came with the intention of embracing it, and I did. The anonymity of living in a place away from home, with its familiar people and the bland, repetitive everyday activities, contrasted with the excitement and new experiences the new place could bring. It was something I couldn't resist. There was an irrefutable pain in my chest that I couldn't shake off. The more I thought about it, the more I felt attached to the place, the house, its belongings, its surroundings, every passing moment in time, and even its people (I'm not a social person though).

It was about time to get ready when Dad barged into our room, unexpectedly fitful. He was yelling—no, telling us to get ready, as he had expected us to be by the time he arrived. For your information, the train would arrive in roughly an hour. How often do we see a calm person get angry? I was unprepared. It caused quite a commotion. I had never seen my parents fight, so this caught me off guard. To me, a family was never a comfort place, as I was raised by a single (abusive) parent, my mother. I had, therefore, developed a deep idea of relationships and held it very dearly. Miscommunication is the biggest fear in any relationship, as it is the root of misunderstandings, which lead to the breakdown of a healthy relationship. So this was quite a shock for me. My mom, unable to handle the frustration, passed it down to me through scoldings and emotional abuse. It wasn't Dad's fault either; it had been a stressful day at work, a person died at work site. Imagine how it might feel having to balance work, life, and family all at the same time. It was quite about time to leave, so we came down in no time, ready to depart as the car was waiting downstairs.

You know how people say, "it is both a curse and a blessing to feel everything profoundly"? I guess it is a part of growing up. I am feeling such a wide range of emotions, putting myself into so many people's shoes, understanding so many different perspectives, and experiencing so much more than I even realize. Why is this happening to me? Jharu, our cook, bid us goodbye. I could feel the pain in his eyes as he saw us leave.

I got into the car, crying and smiling at the silliest things. I couldn't bear the thought of stepping foot in this house for the last time, seeing the place for the last time (immediately spotting the celebration sphere at the opposite of the alley), riding this car for the last time, and passing through this alley for one last time.

“I'll miss you, my Scorpio.”

While I was busy wiping away my tears, I saw a groom on his way to his wedding with a band and a number of guests passing through the same road as us. Today is a memorable day in his life. At the same time, I saw an ambulance rushing from the opposite direction. Someone is enjoying the best day of his life, while someone is witnessing the last day of his life. I realized that life is not the same for everyone.

It was time for us to cross the overbridge to get to platform number 3. While we carried the small luggage, our driver carried the largest of them all—the big, heavy suitcase. He squinted his eyes as he lifted the suitcase, and I could feel the difficulty through his facial expressions. He carried it with one hand and walked down the steps until he gasped for breath. I was glad I didn't have to do it. Life is different for everyone. It was very hard on him. Although he'd get paid for every little thing he helped us with, who would involve themselves in such hard labor for some money? The term "social position" explains it all (according to society, not me). I felt pity just by looking at him.

While we were walking, I saw a bookstore on the platform, and joy spread through my eyes. Nothing can make a vivid reader/observer/writer happier than books. I wished someone could see me and understand what I was feeling at that moment, but Dad didn't stop at the bookstore. I realized that Dad doesn't know me well enough to know that I love books. He never had the chance to spend enough time with me in his life, as he had always lived away.

As I'm writing this journal, sitting on the platform waiting for my train to arrive, I see hundreds of things happening to hundreds of people that I could note down. But guess what? I don't have a hundred hands to capture those different moments simultaneously while they're still in action.

My dad tried to make up for what happened by talking to me, but I'm hard to please.

As the train was about to arrive, my dad was confused about whether our compartment would come to the left or right of the platform. We ran left—maybe not this side—so we ran right, with our driver carrying our large, heavy suitcase. Then again, left. The train arrived, and we were trying to match its pace, running with our luggage to B3, which was far to the left. We kept speeding up, and my mom exclaimed in frustration, "How much more do we have to walk?"

My dad replied, "Just a little more."

I laughed.

Here we have my mom, who gets frustrated at the smallest things, and my overly patient dad, who's about to lose his patience due to this woman. What a sweet pair.

*A pinch of sarcasm*

We got into the train, and my dad and the driver went off after lifting up all the luggage, as the train could leave any second. The train started to move, and I could feel all those emotions again. Tears came to my eyes, and I struggled to wipe them away while I watched my dad growing distant (the train was moving away from the platform) until I could see him no more.

[zegrvshvghes]

We may play on different teams or cheer for different people but you’re still my person-TZ11

p2 to you eased the pain, even though you caused it

As I walked into the locker room of my new hockey team, I couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement and nervousness. I had accepted the offer to become the official team doctor for the Anaheim Ducks, which meant that I would no longer be working for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

It was a big change, but I was ready for it. I had grown tired of the same old routines and wanted to try something new. Plus, the opportunity to work with a new group of players was too good to pass up.

As I looked around the room, I saw a few familiar faces. There were a handful of players whom I had worked with during my time with the Leafs and during my time working with certain college hockey teams, but one in particular stood out to me: Trevor Zegras.

Trevor and I had developed an interesting bond over our time in Toronto. He had a “hatred” for me, I soon found out it was because he loved me.

At first, I was hesitant to get too close to him. After all, I was his doctor, and it was important that our relationship remained strictly professional. But as time went on, I found myself drawn to him in ways that went beyond our doctor-patient dynamic.

There was just something about him that I couldn't resist. He had this infectious energy and passion for the game that was so contagious. Every time we talked, he made me feel alive and inspired.

Eventually, I couldn't deny my feelings for him any longer. I knew it was risky and potentially dangerous, but I couldn't help but fall for him. We started seeing each other in secret, sneaking around to avoid any suspicions from our teammates and staff.

It was thrilling and exciting, but at the same time, it was also incredibly stressful. I was constantly torn between my duty as a doctor and my feelings for Trevor. As we grew closer, I knew that something had to give.

So, I made the difficult decision to end things between us. I knew it was the right thing to do, but it was also one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting Trevor, but I also knew that our relationship was putting both of us at risk.

After that, I threw myself even more deeply into my work. I tried to focus solely on being the best doctor I could be, distancing myself from all romantic entanglements.

But now, standing in this new locker room with Trevor just a few feet away from me, I couldn't help but feel a surge of longing. Seeing him again after all these months apart brought back all those feelings that I had been trying so hard to suppress.

Part of me had hoped that I would be over him by now, that I would have moved on and found someone else. But as soon as I saw him, I knew that wasn't the case. I was just as drawn to him as ever, maybe even more so now that we were apart.

At first, Trevor didn't seem to notice me. He was busy talking to some of his new teammates, laughing and joking around. It was easy to see why he had become so popular with everyone.

But then, as if he could sense my presence, he glanced over in my direction. Our eyes met, and I felt a jolt of electricity surge through my body.

For a moment, it felt like time had frozen. I could see the recognition in Trevor's eyes, the same longing that I was feeling. And then, just as quickly, he looked away, turning back to his teammates with a grin.

I knew then that things were going to be difficult. Being around Trevor again, seeing him every day, was going to be a constant test of my willpower and professionalism. I couldn't let my feelings for him get in the way of my job, but at the same time, I couldn't ignore them either.

As the days went on, I tried my best to keep a safe distance from Trevor. I spent most of my time in my office or on the sidelines during games, avoiding any unnecessary interactions with him.

But it was impossible to completely avoid him, especially when he was playing so well. He was quickly becoming a star on the team, and I found myself drawn to him every time he stepped onto the ice.

It was torture, watching him from afar and knowing that I couldn't have him. Every time he scored a goal or made an incredible play, I could feel my heart racing with excitement and admiration.

I was falling for him all over again, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

One night, after a particularly grueling game, I found myself alone in the locker room with Trevor. Everyone else had already left, and we were the only ones left behind.

At first, things were awkward. We both knew that we couldn't just pick up where we left off, that there was too much at stake. But then, slowly but surely, we began to talk as if no time had passed.

We talked about everything under the sun, from our favorite movies to our hopes and dreams for the future. It felt like we were two old friends catching up, but at the same time, it was so much more than that.

As the night wore on, our conversations grew more intense. We started to touch each other, tentatively at first, but then with growing urgency. It was like a dam had burst, and all our pent-up feelings came flooding out.

Before I knew it, I was kissing him, my lips pressed against his with all the passion and longing I had been holding back for so long.

In that moment, it felt like everything was right in the world. I knew that it was dangerous and risky, but I couldn't help myself. I was willing to risk everything, even my career, for the chance to be with Trevor.

And in that moment, I knew he felt the same way. As we kissed, I could feel him responding with every fiber of his being. It was like we had finally given in to the inevitable, that we were meant to be together no matter what.

As we pulled away from each other, breathless and dizzy, I knew that things were never going to be the same. But for the first time in a long time, I also knew that I was where I was meant to be.

With Trevor by my side, I could face whatever challenges came our way. We might be risking everything, but we were doing it together.

And that was all that mattered.

see!! things work out in the end i guess. i <3 trevor zegrussy pussy slay queen👸

[bitacrytic]

Bitaaaaa all this talk of vegaspete and I am missing your fics! Please please would you consider writing for them again? Also what is it that ticks you about vegaspete ( I mean ticks you the right way).

this ask is a trap. this ask is asking me to expose all the inner workings of my devolved brain. even aware as I am, will i ignore this trap?

no. no, i will not.

my first experience with romance fiction were M&B's when I was a teenager and at the time I didn't understand why it was so interesting to watch a woman be taken in by a man who was mean to her, as she was (in one way or another) forced to bare her nakedness to him, or sleep with him against her will, in order to gain protection or money or a ranch, or some other super important thing in the story. and yet, over and over again, I ate that shit up.

yeah, that's the same itch that vegaspete scratches for me. the powerlessness of pete, his inability to leave. I can't explain how that scene in the dungeon scraped my soul because when vegas had his hand around pete's neck while talking to pete's grandmother and pete was weeping silently, I WAS ON CLOUD NINE.

i loved how quickly vegas got attached to pete. i love that he went from saying "let me play with you like a toy," to thinking, "let me make you spicy noodles."

i loved that even though vegas got attached (and even though pete got attached too) vegas never took it for granted that pete had fallen for him. pete kept his back straight. even when he was afraid. and because of how pete didn't fawn over vegas, vegas couldn't just sit back and pat himself saying that pete was his. because pete wasn't. pete may have fallen in love with vegas but he wasn't wearing rose colored glassed. pete was as honest as ever. almost like he was sitting between giving up on living, or believing that vegas was never truly going to kill him.

either way, pete was never totally scared of vegas. not in the way vegas wanted him to be.

did i mention that i loved that pete couldn't leave?

especially when the relationship became sexual. yeah, I know it's weird but for characters like pete, it's easy to succumb to "the dark side" (in this case, fall for the villain) if you're doing it against your will. pete fought vegas because vegas was the enemy. he was allowed to serve vegas as a guard, but letting vegas touch him intimately? liking any of it? that was a betrayal to the first family and pete knew it.

which was why it was incredibly comforting to have vegas do all that when pete couldn't resist.

if we'll remember, vegas already grabbed pete's but in public. But it was different then. why? because pete could move away. and pete did move away. now, we don't know if he liked it, we just know that it was WIERD and he was so shook about it that he forgot to do his job.

but in the dungeon, in the safehouse? he was exposed to vegas for a prolonged period of time when he got to see vegas in a different light. and this time, whether or not he wanted to, pete had no choice but to develop feelings for his captor.

even thought pete was very aware of just how wrong all of it was.

[pentacentric]

Oooh, tell me about "pretty when you cry"....??? 😊

copying some of what i previously answered for the background, since this is from the same series that's already stsrted being published. Things That Can't Be Seen is canon-divergent (but not excessively) AU, wincest, powers/magic-adept sam, heavy on the world-building (there's a bit more backgound and 2 excerpts under the cut)

firstly, i have to say Pretty When You Cry is named after the VAST song not the lana del rey one which i didn't know about at the time (it's also good but a very different vibe). the story's actually about 2/3 done and already ridiculously long. it was also actually originally started to fill a kinkmeme request (ikr) and it got out of control and then i ended up fitting it into the series

it's set during sam's years at stanford. sam's experiences have made him a lot more comfortable with the more extreme side of his sexuality than in the show, and he's lacking a very good idea of what normal is as well. he continues to mourn his relationship with dean throughout, but he meets brady and they become cluelessly reciprocally-pining friends and eventually lovers. they're into kink pretty heavily (sam's subby and masochistic and bratty, brady is brash and has some lovely repressed aggression but is also very empathetic). but also he and brady genuinely love each other. i'll admit this story is somewhat self-indulgent since i discovered i really love sam/brady while writing this. it's like 50% kink, 50% sam/brady banter, 30% world-building, 20% sam being awkward while trying to figure out how to act like a person. it will get around to demon brady and also jess as well

series background: the major world difference is that the hunting community is slightly more structured (though no less dysfunctional or dangerous, maybe more so) and that it includes dedicated magic users within it (though on the fringes and generally with a lot of reticence and, for some, active resistance). the magic and its systems are also somewhat different and much more developed than in the show. as far as the winchester family goes, john never bothers to hide hunting or the paranormal from either of them. sam starts showing signs of powers (and not necessarily demonic) from a young age. there's also a family ritual that involves painting sigils on one's body that is central to the story

excerpts

this is prob more than you wanted, but you get 2 excerpts because i couldn't decide. 1st is some banter between sam and brady because there's a lot of that in the story. the second is one of my favorite parts that shows some of the magic in this world. they're both kinda long, sorry!

excerpt 1:

............

He shrugs. "And, to top it off...I really didn't know if you were into guys, even."

Brady stares at him. "How could you not know??"

"Well, I mean, I never really saw you flirt with men or anything."

"Yeah, ‘cause I was kinda focused on getting into your pants, you know? Um, had my hands all over you? Sleeping together in the same bed?"

Sam flushes. "C'mon, you're pretty affectionate with everyone, so how was I supposed to know?!"

"You really think I treat all my friends like I do you?" Brady shakes his head in disbelief. "Damn, I'm kinda proud that you think I'm that easy."

"Well, you kinda are. Once you get past the do-you-like-me-check-yes-or-no notes stage." Sam grins.

"Maybe I should have given you one of those in the first place." He looks at Sam. "You know what it finally took to get me to man up and do something?"

"Um, getting me desperate and naked and sobbing in your bed?"

"Well, now you're just giving me ideas for later..."

"It's Thursday tomorrow."

"...seriously, you can be such a buzzkill." He huffs. "Sure, that was the spark and all, but the fuse was already primed."

"...you don't prime fuses."

"Well, maybe you don't...you know what I meant, bitch. Anyways, it was Nathan."

"Nathan? What does he have to do with it?"

"Well, what he wants to do is you."

"What?"

"...well, I'm kind of reassured that at least it's not just me you're oblivious to. Anyways, he saw you at The Crucible."

Sam almost chokes. "What??"

"C'mon, Sam, you think you're the only kinky bastard in our group of friends? I mean, you might be the most extreme and all, but, really? Like, tell me you at least know that Tara does photography for the kink scene?"

"..." 

"Oh, c'mon! It's not like she hides it!"

"Well, she didn't show us her actual pictures! When she said sexy photos, I figured, like, standard boudoir stuff, maybe some pinup."

"Nope. I mean, I think she does a little of that on the side, but most of her stuff is pretty hardcore. Beautiful, though. Hot. You should ask her to see it sometime."

"Huh. Wow. But, um...yeah, Nathan saw me at the goddamn Crucible. And told you about it?"

Brady shrugs. "He worried you might be runnin' around behind my back. Said he wasn't sure it was his place to get involved, and maybe we had an open thing going on, maybe at least where scening was concerned, but that if it were him, he'd want to know. When I told him we weren't like that, he was genuinely surprised. Didn't believe me at first, said everyone would be cool with it, we didn't have to hide anything. Once I convinced him, he was all well, I gotta warn you, if you don't go for it, I will. Told me I had no idea what I was missing out on, by what he saw."

"Oh my god. I only went there once, and...fuck." Sam shakes his head, swallows. "I'm surprised he can still look me in the face and act like everything's normal."

"Well, it's not usually your face I catch him staring at.' Brady smirks.

Sam groans and buries his face in his hands. "I think I've hit my RDA of humiliation today."

"Pssshh, Nate definitely didn't think any less of you for what he saw, I can tell you that much. Anyways, he musta seen something on my face, cause he backed off a little on the goin' after you. Said he didn't really believe in the 'calling dibs' thing, but it was clear you and I had something goin' on, even if we were clueless, and that he wanted to give us a chance to get our shit together. Told me not to wait too long, though. That was about a week before you showed up all fucked up at my door that morning." Brady rubs at the back of his neck. "Was gonna say somethin' to you on the night I made you dinner. Chickened out."

"Declarations of love over spaghetti? Very Lady and the Tramp of you."

"Shut up, bitch. You love to suck my noodle."

Sam shakes his head with a grimace of disgust. "No...just no, dude."

"Eh, can't land 'em all...shoulda gone with 'you're the one that's both the lady and the tramp,' yeah? Anyways, it all worked out in the end, obviously. I got my Disney princess." He picks up his pencil and turns his attention back to the papers in front of him. "Still kinda kickin' myself that I missed that night at the Crucible. Sounded pretty fucking memorable. 'S not my usual club, though."

Sam's brain stalls, reboots a few times. "Wait...you have a 'usual' club? You go to kink clubs?? Which ones? When?"

Brady smirks, doesn't look up, though. "Hmm, yeah, but I think that's a talk for another night. Might get us a little worked up, you know, keep us from gettin' to sleep right away." He turns a page in his book. "And it is Thursday tomorrow, you know."

"...I hate you."

"Whatever you say, Sammy." He innocently bats his eyes at Sam, who hasn't moved and is still staring holes into Brady's head. "Don't you have an essay to finish, baby?"

...

The next morning, as Sam's getting ready to walk into class, he feels the buzz of his phone in his pocket. He smiles, pulls it out, sees a message notification. Flips it open, and his smile disappears as he freezes in front of the doors of the Keck Building. 

G (2 new messages)

Gideon.

His heart clenches. Misses a beat, maybe two. He barely even notices the annoyed girl with the curly pink hair that elbows him; absently stumbling out of the way of the flow of students without lifting his eyes from the phone.

He selects the notification, presses the green button.

-Sam. None of your dreams will come true.

He lets out a long, shuddering breath, the relief outweighing the resentment. Thumbs down to the second message, opens it.

-I won't have to hold your debt for long. I'll contact you soon for assistance.

That feeling at the bottom of his gut; that cold, that clenching. It's not fear. 

It's not.

It's just relief that Dean, his dad are ok. Will be ok, for now. Everything else, he can deal with. It's all worth it, for that.

Right?

___________________________

excerpt 2:

............

"So," Brady says, arms spread out, slowly spinning, inviting Sam to take in the whole of the small harbor as if he, himself, had made the sand, waves, and towering cliffs. "This is Gray Whale Cove."

Sam tilts his head back, turning in place to take it all in. "It's amazing." He says, sincerely. "Beautiful."

So maybe he's looking at Brady when he says it.

"Yeah, not too shabby, right? I thought you'd like it here."

And Sam does. It really is spectacular; the slopes and peaks of the cliffs around them a mix of jagged grey stone and ground-hugging green brush, the half-moon of faded gold sand between the promontories jutting into the water on either side of them, the deep steel-blue of the Pacific churning itself through green into foamy white as it thrashes against the sand and crags. The air smells of salt and growing things, but with that base note of mineral you sometimes find in places surrounded by exposed rock. Everything's a little washed over and silvery with the sharp, pale winter sun. His skin prickles in the wind that whips through the cove.

But beyond even that there's a fierce power here that buoys and exhilarates Sam, sets his heart racing. Brady, while he's often so empathetic to the moods and needs of people around him that it still surprises Sam, doesn't have an ounce of sensitivity to the supernatural (and Sam has said a prayer of gratitude for that more than once). But even those without any gift sometimes feel the pull of places like this, without really knowing why. Sam can feel it thrumming through him, ramping up with each deep pulse through him, making his nerves twang like plucked chords, sparking tiny fires in his subtle body. It reminds him of the bass in the Impala vibrating through the seats when the sound's turned all the way up and they're pushing past a hundred on some straight-as-an-arrow, cornfield-choked, midwest backcountry road or a sandswept, broadly curving desert highway in the salt flats of the southwest.

Combined with his already nebulous state from the events of the nights before and today's blessing, he's soaring on it like a leaf in a whirlwind. He can't put away the grin that's cracking his face open. He'd worry about how his eyes must look to Brady (mad, crazy, dangerous) if he could bring himself to grab even a tiny thread of the concrete, the practical world right now. He closes his eyes for a second, trying to center himself a little. If he lets this build too much more he's gonna spin out. Do something dumb and hurt himself or Brady, or, at the very least, the surge is gonna burn through him too fast and he'll be left even more depleted and thinned-out after it's gone.

Regretfully, he pulls up a few of his barriers; not all of them, not all the way. Modulates the rush of energy tearing through him. Less firehose, more broad river to float in. He opens up his eyes slowly, nictitating their astral membranes at the same time, to get a look at the source of the energy swirling through the cove.

It's magnificent. A light-limned nest, a vast net of vital elemental magic and intrinsic etheric energy, woven, knit, exquisitely around them.

The major ley line that skims along the California coast, but only touches shore rarely, intersects here, running right up the length of the beach: a spitting, twisting, living rope of light, pulled taut between the bookend promontories, right over their heads, wide as a 6-lane interstate. But it also crosses no less than six smaller, less-deeply-sourced power lines. They spiral up and over and through the surrounding cliffs and hills; one even snakes up from the ocean floor, through the waves, its light refracting and breaking all green glowing through the turbulent water. But on top of that, there's also the confluence of three fundamental elements—the vast waters of the ocean, the earthy bare rock of the cliffs and hills, and the air of the blue sky high above and the wind funneled down into the cove. They're balanced well, the tension between where they push and pull and merge sending out fountains of branching, fractal luminescence at sudden and irregular intervals. 

Sam doesn't know all the power places in North America, of course, but he knows of the biggest, most important ones, and this place he's not heard of. It's much more modest than many of those famous ones in terms of sheer power. It's doesn't have the gut-wrenching sheer force of the convergence of two major ley lines that some spots have, nor does it have the fulgent potential of a place where all four elements meet in equal power, but the mix of the two types of earth energies makes for a delicious nexus of magics. It makes Sam want to strip his clothes off and bathe naked in it.

Which, considering the few other groups of visitors speckled across the beach, might not be the best idea.

Though he'd bet Brady would appreciate it.

With that thought pulling at the corners of his mouth, he turns and looks at his boyfriend standing on the sand behind him.

He's never looked at Brady before with the astral veil lifted, it's not something he wants to make a habit of in his new, normal life. But he can't resist, just this once, and he's not surprised to find the view just as magnificent as what surrounds him. In his own, entirely non-biased, opinion, of course. Brady's aura isn't simple, but Sam didn't expect it to be. It's tangled, knotted, bruised in some places, in others loops in on itself protectively. But it's bright, and threaded with colors that resonate and shift. And it's warm, so warm. It sends tendrils out in some place, seeking out the light of others; vulnerable, but full of a pure kind of desire to connect. Many of them keep drawing back to Sam, slipping along his edges, under the surface. Their borders melt together briefly when they touch, and Sam lets one of his barriers down, just a little, feels Brady penetrate him, warmth spreading out from where they touch. He shivers; it's so incredibly sensual, intimate; he can't help himself. He surges forward, drops his mouth to Brady's, slips his eyes closed; lets Brady's warm tongue and warm emanations push into him.

Breathless minutes later, he opens his eyes, the mundane world filling them now, all glimpses of the metaphysical tucked away again. Brady's smiling at him, bemused and fond.

"I guess you really needed this, huh?"

Sam smiles back. "I guess I did."

With his boundaries tamped down now, the thrumming energy of the place is muted now, in the background. And, while Sam’s still feeling some of the residual euphoria, it's more of a gentle invigoration instead of the inundation from before. He'll only leave here a little recharged compared to how he felt before, but he's also not at risk of spinning out on energy intoxication.

"C'mon," Brady gestures with his head towards the north end of the cove. "Let's walk a little."

[thelostrainbowthenovel]

*I have no self control when it comes to creating new characters, I swear 😩😅*

But, I am also partially blaming @littlechaoticwitch(sorry lol), for helping inspire this character, as we talked about her concept quite a bit a few weeks ago(and she also came up with her name)! :3 This is Brigit Lumen, and as it may or may not be difficult to tell, she is the twin sister to Apollo~

So, her character concept came about when I was thinking about whether or not Apollo should have any siblings. I thought about giving him either a sister(a reference to his namesake) or a much older brother(a reference to the character that is inspiration for him), but eventually settled on both ideas as I really liked what I came up with for both! :D I fell in love with Brigit's concept the most though, so I couldn't resist developing her a bit more and drawing a reference image for her~ <3

I hope you like her! ^w^ Here's a mini bio for her!

================================================

- Brigit Lumen

. Age: 27

. Gender: demigirl(she/they)

. Sexuality: aromantic-asexual

. Family: Older brother(by 7 years), Apollo(twin brother, younger than her by several minutes)

. Relationships: none

. Abilities: hand-to-hand combat, archery, slight solar/healing abilities(natural)

Citizen of Feor, older twin sister to Apollo. Through all the shit they went through together when they were younger, the one constant that kept Apollo and her going was each other. Being twins, they have always been through everything together, with some of their earliest and fondest memories being when they learned archery together. She joined the army alongside him when they both became of age, and while he retired pretty quickly after his injury, she has stayed working as a soldier and has risen up to a leader position. In comparison, she is more dry, independent, and blunt with her way of speaking. Like her twin, she also is incredibly open-minded and does her own forms of activism and advocacy for issues important to her. Despite often coming across as difficult to deal with, she has a deep care and loyalty to those closest to her, doing whatever she can to protect them and make them feel safe and cared for. Despite judging and not holding any of her thoughts back when it came to all of Apollo's ex-partners, she finds Damini to be a sweetheart and starts rooting for them immediately. This has utterly confused her brother, him not used to her being so nice about any of his previous partners, but he is just so happy and relieved that they get along so well. Even as they starts to turn into low-key worry whenever he finds them playfully gossiping about him.