be-nice-to-your-meatsuit

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

Update. I've entirely given up on losing weight for now. In all honesty I'm bigger than I've ever been. This is because my habits have changed, and because I've been having other health related issues.

Sometimes I'm sad about it because I still have more to unlearn. But mostly? I'm okay with it. It is what is in my current circumstances. And giving up was a lot less hard of a decision to make thanks to fat liberation.

Because my self worth wasn't tied to the success of my weight loss attempt, i looked at the pain i was in every day. I looked at the fact that i was no longer in control of what I was cooking. And went "okay. Right now this is impractical. We're gonna give up on this until i have the other important stuff in my life sorted." And that was that. I didn't beat myself up.

Sooo TL;DR. no matter what size. No matter what your intent is with weight. Be it gaining, losing, staying exactly the same, or no intent at all. It's better if you love your body.

This might be taboo to say on a body positivity blog, but I'm losing weight intentionally.

While I'm not on it *now* (im in the states and on vacation so it'd be unreasonable to try), it was working pretty well.

I'm going for a straightforward calorie deficit. Try to have my activity higher than intake, give or take a bit, don't go lower than a certain amount.

And honestly? Accepting my body as it is, was the ONLY way this was going to work. My motives couldn't be "i fucking hate myself and need to change to be acceptable". My motives were "my snoring is unstoppable and I've tested and tried everything except for losing weight. It causes me pain when I walk too far because of thigh chafing, and back pain sucks" I don't want to be skinny after, hell, I like my soft and curvy self. Going to the actual "healthy" weight according to Bullshit BMI would mean my tiny ass would fly out the window if you hit a bump on the highway.

Being kinder, and loving my body means that I can take it slow, take it at my own pace, and not beat myself up on a day where my goals aren't achieved (i have three. 10k steps a day, 3L of water a day, and stay under some type of deficit. As long as 1/3 is achieved, I'm happy. If 0/3 is achieved, hey i can try again tomorrow. Were it not for fat liberation philosophies, I'd be having breakdown after breakdown).

I can be at this for a month, noticed I've lost 7 lbs and instead of going "WHY AM I A FAILURE I NEED TO GO HARDER ABOUT THIS" i can say "neat! That's about the rate I wanna be going!"

Staying on these body positive and fat liberation spaces made me say "hey, the difference between "good food" and "bad food" is awful. I'm gonna succeed, but I'm not going to cut out any food that makes me happy." I can say "alright, I'm cutting it close to my limit, but fuck it, I'm still hungry so I'll make myself a snack, because listening to my body is more important than numbers".

Losing weight will not make me more worthy. I am worthy at whatever weight I am. For those who it matters to, I'm pretty damn hot, no matter my weight. It will not make me immune from health issues, and this doesn't have anything to do with morality. My health status, if it changes, will be because I'm active and hydrating more, not because of the number on the scale.

I just want less thigh chafing without remembering to put deodorant or some shit on my thighs. I want to not snore while I'm in bed with my fiancé (and yeah sleep apnea apparently isn't it, got it tested). I want less back pain when I'm standing at a till for 4.5 hours, even if I've got the world's best shoes on. It's not health reasons, it's inconvenience reasons.

But I could never be successful about it until i disentangled fatphobia from weight loss. Until i stopped saying "these foods are bad, these foods are good", I was always going to fail. Until i stopped believing I was worthless because of my fat, until i stopped saying "I need to lose weight and do it now because I need to be hot", it was never going to work.

There's still things I need to work on, I'm not totally cured, and maybe some days the ED's gonna influence. Hell, idk if this weight loss attempt will stick, and be successful once I get to my goal weight. But even as someone who's trying to lose weight, fat liberation is so important.

Because without the idea that being fat is totally okay, I'd be unable to enjoy myself in the times where it's absolutely unreasonable to count calories. I'd have my goal as "stick thin" and not "how I look now, just less chafe". By the end of this, I'll still be medically overweight.

And btw I still believe in Health at Every Size. Your weight has no fucking impact on your worth, your health, your beauty, ANYTHING.

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

Being fat, actually fat, with an eating disorder is fucking hell.

People assume you have BED, and if you actually do have BED people are so gross about it. If you have a restricting disorder people get concerned when you start eating more. People get concerned if you start to like yourself. People love to see you fucking miserable, and will completely ignore your misery in the same breath. It makes them feel good. They benefit at your expense through weight stigma.

So many physicians prescribe disordered eating to us. ED specialists in many places won’t even consider how EDs affect us. Our own community uses our bodies as inspiration to hurt themselves. Because nothing could be worse than looking like us, right? How are you supposed to love yourself when so many people actively don’t want you to?

To the fat person reading who needs to hear this, I give a shit if you recover. I give a shit that you are hurting. So many people don’t notice, so many don’t give a fuck, but I do. You deserve better. I want you to eat even if it means you gain weight. I want you to be happy in your body as it is. I want you to feel loved, I want you to feel seen.

If you are fat with BED, I see you. There is so much stigma and it is not your fault. Your weight isn’t “your fault”, you are sick. It’s not a moral failing. You deserve compassion, and the extent to which people project their own issues onto you is awful. You deserve to be comfortable in your skin, and your body is wonderful.

If you are fat with purging tendencies, or with restricting ones I see you too. We get praised for hurting ourselves, or no one notices. I see you. I’m sorry.

I wish so badly the world were more compassionate to you, but if no one else gives a shit, I do. Fight for recovery for me, even though I know that journey can be so, so lonely when you aren’t thin.

To those of you who have recovered, to those of you that may. You are worth it. You may be fat for the rest of your life, and that’s okay. It’s wonderful, your body is wonderful, and I see you and I’m proud of you. Sadly I know many of us recover alone, but I hope you know you aren’t. I’m rooting for you.

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

[Prints!]

(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: Art nouveau portrait, full body, starring a fat white woman with long curling orange hair in a sheer chiton style dress. She is laying back diagonally across the image, knees pulled up and crossed at the ankle, one arm tucked behind her head and the other lifted to lay the back of her hand across her forehead in a swoon. Her long hair flows everywhere behind her, curling every way and drifting off the edges of the page. The background is a circular slice of sky, the bottom edge on which she is lounging. The edges are lines with gold patterned plating and a swirling green leaf design, leading to a topper of green leaves and symmetrical orange and yellow lilies. Brown tree branches curl and twist around the outside, budding with small leaves and more orange flowers. In the center, another bare branch forks like a lightning strike against a cold blue sky with white clouds. /end ID

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

you don't have to apologize for taking up space if you're fat. you don't have to apologize for your appearance if you're fat. you don't have to apologize for your fashion choices if you're fat. you don't have to apologize for eating if you're fat. you don't have to apologize for sitting instead of standing if you're fat. you don't have to apologize for being disabled if you're fat. you don't have to apologize for needing mobility aids if you're fat. you don't have to apologize for needing support if you're fat. you don't have to apologize for being trans if you're fat. you don't have to apologize for being queer if you're fat.

you don't have to apologize for being fat.

fat people are guilted out of just about every experience in life. we're told we're too unsightly to dress and look how we want. queer fat people are made to feel like they can never be their given identity because the scant representation of queer folk that we have always shows a skinny or buff person, never any other kind of body in between. fat people are shamed out of becoming singers because of our appearance. fat people are shamed out of becoming actors because of our appeareance. fat people are shamed out of being chefs because we're fat. fat people are shamed out of sports and athletic activities because we're fat. it's often times difficult to impossible to find a fat role model because we are shamed out of thriving and reaching toward our goals.

you don't have to apologize. you don't have to feel like you "can't" do something because you're fat. if you are disabled, please consider and know your limitations, but being fat does not bar you from hobbies or careers that you want to participate in. fat people can dance, sing, do yoga, body build, cook, run, play sports, act, perform on stage, create art, become models and yes, even find sexual liberation in their fatness. fat people are allowed to be fat without apologizing for it. fat people are allowed to be fat.

we're taking up space and we're not apologizing for it anymore. we are not here solely to appeal to the sexual and aesthetic tastes of thin and "fit" people. we are here to live our lives.

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

romanticise your body

your trans body

your disabled body

your fat body

everything about yourself that you've been told to hate

love yourself in spite of it

the way you exist is amazing

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

Fat people deserve to love ourselves and be confident as fuck.

-Mod Worthy

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

fat trans people. you agree. reblog

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

if you reblog any of my posts about men in crop tops or short shorts and youre like "ill do this when im skinny," i need you to take my hand. sweet summer child, listen to me. you do not have to be skinny to show skin. please be fat and show skin. you deserve to wear what you want to wear, and to be cool in the heat. you do not have to punish yourself for being fat.

im not going to lie- some people will judge you. sometimes you will see or hear them judging you. you have to be able to move on. you are not living your life for them. pleasing them by sweating to death is not going to help you, and it's not going to appease fatphobic assholes. you do not need to make yourself small for them.

there are, on the other hand, also a plethora of people who are going to find you smokin hot, and others who will be inspired by your bravery- whether or not *you* feel brave- and it will make them brave too. there will be fat children who see you and realize they too can have all the autonomy and free will skinny people do. please dont hide yourself.

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

i think weight loss ads should be illegal and im not kidding

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

Hey did y'all ever think about that if doctors blame all fat people's medical issues on them being too fat without proper investigation and then feel justified in neglecting their medical concerns, then statistically more fat people WILL develop and potentially die from serious health issues and it might not actually be because of the fat when everything comes down to it

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.

A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.

Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic?  She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing.  But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great.  She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success.  So - what gives?

His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear.  Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles.  He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses.  You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on.  Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered.  He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit.  That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.

I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way.  I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did. 

It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this.  But no one ever told me.  I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes.  No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.

I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed.  I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to.  No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to.  I guess I just didn’t know.  I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.

I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.

I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.

So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while.  But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not.  Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

It says a lot about our society that vaccines are controversial but an injectable diabetes drug being used off label for weight loss was immediately accepted by everyone without a second thought

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

DUDE THIS LOOKS SO HEAVENLY!!!!!

oh my gods I need that full recipe. I hate scrambled eggs (texture thing), but I feel like I'd devour this in an instant just because it looks so good.

Be SO proud of yourself

this is the first time I eat lunch in a while, mainly bc today I only ate cereal for breakfast and usually I eat something a bit heavier. But I made mac n cheese w eggs mixed into the sauce to mask them and some meat and other things...I'm just glad I'm eating :3

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

Absolutely obsessed with this new lady on display in the renovated MET museum's European collection (my photo)

Duplessis, Joseph Siffred. Madame de Saint-Morys (Eléonore Elisabeth Angélique de Beauterne, 1742–1824). 1776. MET Museum, New York.

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

it's okay to be fat and like to eat. it's okay to be fat and enjoy cooking, baking, grilling, canning, drying or preparing foods. it's okay to be fat and work a restaurant or bakery and enjoy what you do. it's okay to be fat and not ashamed of eating in public. it's okay to be fat, but it's especially okay to be fat and have a positive relationship with food. people are supposed to enjoy eating, it's where we get our energy from, it's a very positive and nourishing experience for our bodies, it's okay if it's positive and nourishing to your mental health, too. fat people are allowed to eat, and we're allowed to enjoy doing it, too.

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

fat culture is thinking you're super fat before getting into fat acceptance but now having huge impostor syndrome and thinking you're not actually that fat.