#even though fyodor is a babygirl

[felinelord-bowbeforemepeasant]

Okay I have some question here do you guy remember there scene where sigma is taking information from fyodor

And if I remember correctly sigma's ability is trading the information that he want but the other also get what they want right

So here the real question what information did fyodor get

Look at the first two panel and as you can see sigma was getting a rapid information from fyodor and then we got to the scene where fyodor was holding sigma in the palm of his hand

The scene where fyodor was holding sigma tick me the most

People say that a scene when someone is holding someone in the hand kinda symbolize power or upper hand right?

But is there something else too like another meaning(?)

So I look at it again and think sigma was like getting a torrent of information here right and he look like he was in an information space(?) And then we got the scene where fyodor is holding sigma and looking very pleased of what is happening

I was like wait is fyodor getting the information too

Cause when sigma fainted after he tell himself that he need to tell the agency(applause for him cause really he hasn't been in the agency yet and he already think to tell them)

And then we get a expression of a very unsatisfied fyodor (idk im not good with expression so I guess the face he was making at the end is unsatisfied)

Like he was unsatisfied with the information that he got.

I didn't see anyone talk about this yet, I know dazai (supposed) death surprised you guy and then all of you decided to be an doctor, surgeon or anything to prove that dazai is not dead but really we need to focus on something else too

(That didn't mean that I didn't like all the dazai analysis chap 109 thing, it was quite fun to read it but you know that there another arc that asagiri gonna work on when this arc is done right also I see someone pointing out that we are falling into the same trick as chap 101)

P.S: did I get fed up when nobody is talking about it and then do it- yes, I did

Edit: I just see someone talk about this scene when I was just done doing this lol so I guess someone already talk about it

Also here the link if you interested

[literatureloverx]

Hey there! I love your way of writing sm 😭 , especially when it's about fyodor , so I was wondering about a scenario or like headcannons about what he'd be like as a father ,I thought it'd be cool but it's put to you if you feel like writing about it :)

Hello, my dear!❤️ thank you and wow, the first one to approach me non-anonymously!

Of course, I love that idea. Fyodor as a father is indeed a very challenging thing to write, but guess what? I’m up for challenges. More so if they are about things I truly enjoy to do. I already wrote a scenario about his approach to having a family, HERE.

Now, I took it upon myself to write another scenario on a simple everyday life of Fyodor and his darlings daughter.

I’ll add some general Dad!Fyodor headcanons…I just don’t know when.

I hope you enjoy it!❤️

Some words are mispronounced as in baby-words, soft!Fyodor, husband!Fyodor, wife!reader, dad!Fyodor x daughter, teeth rotting fluff.

Just like her father (and mother)

You smile as your babygirl, your daughter, runs into the arms of your beloved husband, her father.

"Daddy!"

You giggle at the sight of your adorable daughter and your husband, who greets her with warmth and affection.

Fyodor scoops her up with practiced ease, holding her against his chest. He is gentle with her, his eyes sparkling dimly as he gazes at his beloved child.

He huffs a soft laugh at her giggles, then shifts his gaze to you.

You sigh, feeling a sense of wonder. It's like a miracle to see such a calculating and distant man as your husband transform into a warm, calm, and understanding father for your daughter.

He may not appreciate surprises or impulsive actions, but with your daughter, he is patient and tolerant, which warms your heart so, so deeply.

For a man who never seriously considered having children, he is remarkably affectionate.

"Ah, my two girls."

You look at your husband fondly as you approach him, gliding across the floor, his eyes fixed on you. Your smile, your presence welcoming him home, makes him feel truly at ease. He silently thanks the universe for bringing you into his life, despite his resistance to normality.

You hug him, careful not to squeeze your daughter between you two.

"Welcome home, my love. We missed you."

His gaze softens as he returns your affection, leaning in to brush his lips gently against yours in a chaste kiss.

His free arm wraps around you, holding you close.

When he breaks the kiss, he nuzzles into your neck, inhaling your scent. His voice is low and tender as he murmurs into your ear.

"I missed the two of you as well."

"Mommy made Kulebwyaka! And salad!" your daughter chimes in.

You gently caress her head, subtly inhaling your husband's scent, careful not to pique your daughter's curiosity.

Fyodor smirks. Oh, the woman you are. His woman.

"Oh, did she now? That's lovely, darling."

His voice remains gentle, though his lips curve into a smirk as he turns back to you, his purple eyes filled with affection. He whispers softly, so only you can hear.

"I'm looking forward to dinner, dear. I'm famished."

You kiss his cheek softly, and your daughter giggles at the display of affection between her parents.

"I can imagine, love. Dinner is ready. Should we have a bit of...adult juice as well?"

A sly smirk tugs at the corners of his lips as he hums quietly, your kiss lingering on his cheek. At your suggestion, he leans in and murmurs into your ear, his voice a gentle, seductive whisper.

"Of course. You know how thirsty I always am when I come home to you, dearest."

His soft growl against your earlobe makes you twitch.

"I didn't even mean it that way.."

Your daughter lifts her head, her eyes wide with curiosity. "What is adult juice?"

He chuckles softly, his lips brushing against your ear before he turns to his daughter, his smirk still in place, though more appropriate for the little one.

"Adult juice is for adults only, little darling. Some things are just for grown-ups, yes?"

Your daughter puffs her cheeks, making them look even more pinchable.

His smirk widens, his voice low and just for your ears.

"But you like it when I'm naughty, don't you, dear?"

You whisper back, "I live for it."

His smirk broadens at your response, a glimmer of playful mischief in his eyes.

"Daddy, I know what adult chewwy juice is," your daughter says, her tone confident.

He turns to her, chuckling softly. "That's right, little one. Daddy does enjoy some 'adult cherry juice' now and then."

You smile at your chatty daughter.

Children are indeed adorable when they think they've figured something out on their own.

"Why don't you show Daddy your pictures while I set the dinner table, darling?"

Fyodor gently shifts her to the floor and pats her head affectionately.

"Yes, go on, show me your pictures, darling."

Your little daughter runs off with adorable giggles-the sweet, gentle sound she inherited from you.

As soon as she's out of sight, you softly brush your lips against your husband's.

"My love..."

Fyodor hums lowly, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close, his purple gaze locking onto yours. His sly smirk returns as he whispers, his voice thick with affection and hidden desire.

"Mhm...? What is it, my love?"

"I missed you..."

You place a soft kiss at the corner of his lips. He leans into it, an almost inaudible sigh escaping as he feels your touch.

His grip tightens around your waist, drawing you even closer.

"You've already said that, my dearest," he murmurs, his voice tinged with playful mock annoyance.

“I'm afraid you're making me lose my mind.." You give him another soft kiss.

"Oh? Well, l'd love to make you lose it entirely.."

His smirk fades into a knowing smile as he leans closer, his lips brushing against your ear. His grip on you is firm, possessive.

His voice drops to a whisper, thick with temptation and seduction.

Your daughter runs into the expansive hall, her little feet pattering against the polished floor as she holds five papers in her hand, each one scribbled and painted in a chaotic mix of colors that match the stains on her fingers.

Fyodor turns his head slowly towards the little one, his arm around you not loosening in the slightest. A rare smile touches his lips—a softer, warmer expression than his usual smirk, yet his eyes gleam with a hint of calculation, as though every interaction is part of a grander design.

“Ah, here you are, darling. Will you show me your pretty pictures now?” His voice is warm, but there's an underlying tone that suggests he's fully aware of the effect his attention has on her.

“Yes, Daddy! Look, this is our famiwy and the willowies in the garden!” she exclaims, tugging at his hand with a gentle insistence, signaling that she wants to be scooped up again.

“I'll be setting up the table, my loves,” you announce.

Fyodor briefly shifts his gaze to you, his expression almost unreadable, but the glint in his eyes betrays a silent acknowledgment of your importance in this carefully crafted domestic scene.

Obeying his daughter’s wordless request, he scoops her up into his arms, giving her a slight twirl to elicit the giggles he knows she’ll produce. He looks at the pictures she proudly displays, and his expression softens—though there’s a knowing quality to it, as if he’s subtly guiding her development even now.

“Ah, I love the pictures. You’ve made them so pretty, sweetheart. And look at all the…”

He falls silent for a moment, as if carefully calculating the perfect word, then makes his decision in the span of a brief second and continues speaking in a warm tone.

“…willowies… do you know why they’re called ‘weeping willows’?”

You move to the enormous kitchen with a fond smile, hearing your daughter’s giggles as she explains her drawings while you set the table. It’s refreshing to observe Fyodor, who is usually so calculating, taking the time to gently, yet meticulously, engage with your daughter.

For a man of his intellect, the depth of his involvement in these small, everyday moments is a testament to his commitment. It’s a pity he had to keep so much of his brilliance to himself before meeting you, his love, his soul, and the treasure of your daughter.

Fyodor continues to listen to your daughter’s explanations, his gaze periodically shifting to you, as if calculating the perfect moment to acknowledge your presence. The little girl’s giggles are like music to him, a perfect harmony in his otherwise strategic, carefully crafted side.

She embodies everything he values, a perfect blend of you and him.

After a few moments, he focuses his attention back on his daughter, his voice gentle but with a sharpness that suggests he’s mentally analyzing every word.

“That’s lovely, darling. You’re such a wonderful little artist, just like your mommy.”

The little one pouts, her expression mirroring yours almost too perfectly. “Daddy, you’re always pwaising Mommy. I did this all alone.”

Fyodor’s smirk returns, filled with affection and a touch of calculated charm. “But of course, darling. Daddy admires his wife immensely.”

His chuckle is soft, almost analytical, as he teases while poking her pouting cheeks.

“And I’m very impressed that you did it all on your own. Though, you can’t blame me for seeing you and Mommy as similar; after all, you do look so much like her.”

Her wide eyes make you chuckle in the kitchen. She’s adorable, and even though Fyodor insists she resembles you, it’s clear she has inherited many traits from him as well.

Her keen attention to detail and quick grasp of concepts remind you of Fyodor’s sharp mind. Aesthetically, she resembles you—a soft, innocent face paired with deep violet eyes. She’s a beautiful blend of you two, a divine gift crowning your marriage.

After a while of chatting, the adorable conversation turned to your marriage.

“Daddy and Mommy are...mawwied?! Why are you mawwied to my mommy?!”

Fyodor lets out a quiet, knowing laugh at her innocent question. His response is gentle, yet the precision of his words reveals the depth of his affection and his strategic nature.

“Yes, Daddy and Mommy are married, sweetheart. It means we love and care for each other very much, and we made a promise to spend our lives together.”

A hint of teasing in his tone as he adds, “And I’m married to your mommy because I love her very much. Why wouldn’t I?”

It’s heartwarming to see someone like Fyodor, usually so analytical and superior, lowering himself to meet your daughter’s level. His carefully strengthened ability to express his love so openly is one of the greatest blessings of your life.

“But now I can’t mawwy Mommy…”

Fyodor’s soft laugh is filled with amusement, his enjoyment evident in the way he engages with her innocent questions. He leans in closer, his voice dropping to a gentle, deliberate drawl as he offers a warm smile.

It’s clear to you that your little daughter thinks "marriage" means sharing a bed with someone. And it’s no secret that she loves slipping between the two of you whenever she has bad dreams.

“Ah, so that’s what you want? Well, I’m afraid you can’t marry Mommy, darling, because we’re already married.”

He raises an eyebrow, giving her a playful look as if weighing his next words carefully.

Your little daughter huffs, her face troubled. “That doesn’t fit into what I imagined... I have to think again now.”

In moments like these, she sounds so much like her father, forming complex thoughts far beyond her years. Fyodor chuckles again, genuinely amused, as he gently pokes her cheeks and holds her close. His voice is warm and patient, his affection for her evident.

“Don’t worry, you have plenty of time to come up with new ideas.”

He ruffles her hair affectionately, adding teasingly, “But I’m afraid I’ve already claimed Mommy for myself.”

You smile fondly at the sight of your husband and daughter. “My loves, dinner is ready.”

Fyodor turns towards you, still holding their little one. His expression softens at the sight of you, and he smiles with a touch of calculated contentment.

“Ah, good. I was getting hungry already.”

“Did you tell Daddy what we did in the garden today?” you ask as you finish setting the table.

Fyodor’s curiosity is piqued, even though he can guess correctly; he turns his gaze back to your daughter, a glimmer of strategic interest in his eyes. He hums in anticipation, eyebrows raised.

“Tell me, darling, what did Mommy and you do in the garden today?”

“Oh, we saw a mister squiwwel and collected cheshnus…”

Her adorable mispronunciation makes you chuckle softly. You kiss her cheek affectionately as you help her into her baby chair.

Fyodor smiles, clearly amused by her little mistake. His gaze shifts to you, filled with fondness, as he watches you kiss her. He chuckles gently at her words.

“Ah, a squirrel and chestnuts, you say? That sounds exciting, darling.”

His voice is warm and engaging before he adds, his gaze returning to their daughter, “Did you have fun collecting them?”

“Mommy and I painted them pink and purple…”

Fyodor’s eyebrows raise in genuine surprise at the mention of her colorful modifications. He chuckles softly, his voice curious and slightly teasing.

“How creative. Did the mister squirrel enjoy that too?”

You chat for a while, sitting at the dining table and enjoying a wholesome family dinner. Before you begin eating, you gather around with Fyodor and your daughter to offer a heartfelt prayer.

It's a moment of quiet reflection, where Fyodor’s usual calculating demeanor gives way to a deep sense of gratitude. As you hold hands and offer thanks, the warmth and love of the family moment are palpable.

You gaze at your husband with deep affection, your eyes and soul reflecting the love you share. The prayer marks the culmination of your shared day, a beautiful blend of affection and spiritual connection, making the family dinner even more meaningful.

[justcallmesakira]

HIII OMG I haven’t had a good laugh in a while until i came across your fyodor’s sis dating dazai hcs IT GOT ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR 😭 can i request for dazai’s sister dating fyodor if you’re up for it? fluff crack make it silly if you want i’ll enjoy anything from you for sure!!

"Dazai with a sister dating Fyodor!"

Sypnosis: Uh oh! Looks like Dazais one and only sister he grew up with is dating a rat who the entirety of yokohama is after!

Genre: crack, suggestive? (idk sth is wrong with me)

Warning: More blasting, bombing, terrorrist, rizz,

A/N: AHHH I AM SO HAPPY U ENJOYED IT- AND I AM MORE THEN HAPPY BCS I MADE YOU LAUGH !!! >.<

nahhh like brother like sister :/

NO BCS i feel like fyodor just wanted to temper dazai by using his ugly breedable charms on you

But it backfired terribly! (like his posture)

Though you were his one and oNlY eNeMyS blood relative he just couldnt help but flirt with you and perhaps ykyk do those romantic stuff ppl do

This is so ooc rn ;skull emoji 69x;

However you were extremly LIKE extremly careful to not let your brother know

You literly sneaked off the house as if you were sneaking inthe kitchen to cook a whole buffet at 3am!!

Except you were sneaking off to EAT a whole buffet😏😏

Even the rat himself helped you to sneak to his rusty ahh apartment

Wow! The first thing he actually did for others!!!!!

Honestly dazai would be chill though-

Like oh his sister is dating someone? welp sure! i have exes all around the city hope its not one of them though hehe...HeHe

FUCKING SLU--

You took the risk of rizzing fyodor up infront of him though like:

"I am crime, I am punishment" you: "I know something else you can punish :3"

Dazai woke back from the dead with em bones fish eye when u said that

AYYY DAZAI IN HIS MELANIE MARTINEZ "PORTALS" ERA!!!!1😍

When he find out though.....oh god hes going to give you that light skin stare, with his eyes turning into nothing but a pitch black void

like my soul-- OKAY THIS IS THE LAST ONE I PROMISE--

One day you met up with fyodor and you were so excited that you nearly threw his anemic ass to the ground

"Yaaaah fedya,!! we finally met! dont give me that face do u know how hard it is to come and meet you when my lazy ahh brother puts trackers on me!" "Malyshka, please calm down---''

All of a sudden u could hear shuffling which instantly cautions the both of you only for your eyes to be meeted with your brothers eye turning into nothing but pitch black like the face he gave when he saw mori

your getting grounded <3

"Out of all people...out of 8 billion people, sister😀" "I-i-i-i i can explain"

he then looked at fyodor with the ugliest angry face ever "YOU FUCKING RAT HOW DARE YOU WOO MY SISTER WITH FEHUYOUR UGFLY AHH RATUTILLIE NO RIZZ MANIUPULATION I AM GONNA BLAST YO-"

damn.. dazai become eminem

the shift mood between to u then to fyodor was so funny

LIKE YALL SAW THE ADVICE FYODOR GAVE TO DAZAI IN THEIR CELLS? THATS A BIT--- UM YANDERE??????!!

"BROTHER CALM DOWN I WAS NOT MANIUPULATED TF-" "THAT WONT STOP ME FROM MY MANSLAUGHTER ARC" "WHAT?--"

#siblinggoalsfr

fyodor honestly only glared at him with a smile that said "If they annoy you, go for their sibling"

dazai YANKED Your arm taking you back to you apartment and just stared at you as if you got a B in maths

uh oh...

So YEAH after hours of not being able to calm him down he finally accepted!

Dazai gifted fyodor a dead rat in a helicopter after he accepted you guys😍😍😍

No bcz i think u and nikolai would have matching energy--

Nikolai: "Dos-kun bites his nails!" You: "Real except he bites my neck!"

one day ranpo jolted up from his seat with fisheye and slowly turned to you as if you ate his (dead)mother

"Dazai Y/N, you did not..." "Oh yes yes i just did :3"

everybody was so confused like did you steal his snacks or sth???

"like brother like sister i guess...." -ranpo after finding out his bestie is doing unholy things to his enemy

JKJK-

Dazai acted so overdramatic omg- ugh hes so babygirl

"I still cant believe it... MY OWN SISTER DATING-DAT-DATING A STINKY RAT! Wait- WHAT IF YOU GET MARRIED???????!!!!! WILL YOUR NAME BE D-D-D-DOS-DOE RATVESKY?? sis you better let him take your name WAIT NO I WILL NOT SHARE MY NAME WITH HIM UGFYDUTYFE"

dramatic gossip girlie fr

like its literly like

"I took your victory😈" "I took your sisters viriginty😈😈😈"

i am so sorry-WAHHHHHHHHHH- *gets shot in the head by reader for being so dirty*

during gatherings, they just smile at each other protesting in their minds who can take care of u better while your in a chair rollin around and going :3

kuro kuro kuro kuroooo kuro kuro kuro kuro ding luro kuro ding~

until your silly ahh falls! :D

And its just a second of time to see who can cath you first-

Dazais going to turn your wedding into an arson commitment!

"Breaking news!, Depressed man who half the fandom slanders burns down his sisters wdding venue with soy sauce!"

Well... its a funky ride! but hey its fyodor

A/N: i know its short but i tried okay- ENJOY!! i love doing crack if i cant laugh or be happy i will make others happy!! <33

Divider crds: @nikolaismasquerade

tags! @silverbladexyz @riiwrites @chuuyasboner @heartsfourdazai @atlasnessie @atsquie @tojifile @biscuits-lovely-corner @darling--angst

[osachiyo]

fyodor wouldn’t sub even if you presented him with everything he wanted in a golden platter while on your knees but honestly i do not care in my mind he’s my babygirl who likes getting fucked silly :3

he's such a bitch but i love him 😔

he'd rather run 5000000 miles without breaks than sub in bed, you'd have to really, really beg him if you wanted him to - which is also a risk in itself because he'd punish you for even having that thought. like who do you think you are???

anyway, even though canonically i never see it happening - if he were to sub, you'd have to really talk him into it. he's all about power and control, and you'd have to give him something very very valuable or make a really good deal for him to even think about it. so with that out of the way, if you somehow did manage to convince him, he'd still be such a fucking brat - would not cooperate with you, sorry bestie </3

still moans and whines like a slut once you actually fuck the life out of him - and he's practically shooting blanks by the time you're finished 🤭

[zukkaoru]

hehehe

naogin + "gin i'm sorry you lost"

ultralemon + "come on babygirl"

gingershipping + "they be chillin', they be killin'"

fyonikonathan/whatever nikolai rarepair + "did you just bite me"

dazai/ranpo (i forget their shipname) + "i am going to bite you"

HIII BELOVED <333 here are the sillies for you

naogin + “gin, i’m sorry, you lost”

Naomi starts giggling before Gin has even finished putting their card down. They hesitate, their hand not leaving it so they can still take it back, but—

They don’t have another option. There’s nothing else in their hand that they can play. Besides, this could just be a trick; Naomi is cunning and she knows how to manipulate people without them even realizing what’s happening.

Gin sighs and lets go of the card.

Naomi’s laughter increases in volume. “Gin,” she says, “I’m sorry. You lost.”

She plays a draw four, and before Gin can even draw another card from the top of the deck, she follows it up with another wild card.

Gin swears under their breath. They throw their cards at Naomi, but she only continues laughing under the attack. And as much as Gin wants to be mad, they can’t quite bring themself to truly hate anything that leads to Naomi smiling.

ultralemon + “come on, babygirl”

Ranpo looks up at Kajii through fluttering eyelashes, one hand pressed firmly against his chest. He smiles, teasing. “Come on, babygirl. You know you want me.”

Kajii swallows thickly.

He does, but only as an experiment. Only to see what it’s like, only for a night or two, with no strings attached. Ranpo must know this if they truly are the world’s greatest detective, but when matters of the heart are at play, Kajii has learned it’s best to lay the rules out before you begin.

“This isn’t going to be a long-term thing,” he says.

“I know. I don’t want it to be.”

Kajii nods, and then he tugs Ranpo into a kiss. As long as Ranpo has agreed to be the subject of his study, he has no reason to hold himself back.

-

gingershipping (tanitachilucytwain??) + “they be chillin’, they be killin’” (i changed the wording slightly on this just so it would make sense dgfhgjhk)

“What’s happening?” Lucy hisses, elbowing Mark in an attempt to get them out of the way so she can see better.

They push her back. “You have your own spot!”

“I can’t see anything!”

“Would you two shut up!?” Jun’ichirou snaps. “They’re going to hear us!”

Obediently, Lucy and Mark both fall silent. Though there’s still the occasional jab between them as they battle for space.

“There’s nothing exciting going on anyway,” Tachihara assures them. “They be chillin’.”

Lucy raises an eyebrow. “I thought this was their scheduled fight to the death? Shouldn’t they be killin’?”

“Don’t ask me what’s up with them; I’ve never understood Akutagawa-san.”

“Haven’t you known him for, like four years?”

“Well, yeah, but—”

Jun’ichirou clears his throat, cutting off the argument. Before anyone can ask why, he points towards Atsushi and Akutagawa who are no longer just chillin’. Though they aren’t exactly killin’ either—they’ve gone from simply walking beside each other and talking in hushed voices to full-on, grasping at each other like their life depends on it, making out.

“Oh,” Mark whispers.

Lucy claps her hands together. “I knew it! Oh my God, Dazai-san owes me so much money. Guys, our next date is on him.”

“And by him, you actually mean Chuuya-san?” Tachihara asks.

“…Yeah, probably.”

-

fyonikonathan + “did you just bite me?”

“Did you just bite me!?”

Nikolai giggles against the warm skin of Nathaniel’s throat. He sucks and licks at the blood, hoping by the time he’s done, there will be a bruise. Hoping Nathaniel won’t shove him away before he’s left a mark.

He shudders beneath Nikolai’s touch, but he does not try to escape.

Nikolai bites again, and Nathaniel’s breath hitches.

His gaze flits upward, looking beyond Nathaniel, to where Fyodor sits watching them. The ghost of a smile is etched across their face. Half-pleasant and half-malicious. Nikolai wants to bite them next, but he has to prove he is worthy to touch them first. He must bring the priest to his knees before he can lay a finger on the Savior.

This is their game, and this is the only way Fyodor will allow themself intimacy.

Nikolai’s eyes fall shut as he toys with the hem of Nathaniel’s shirt. He’s close to his breaking point. Nikolai will not stop until he’s drawn out the delicious sounds he knows Nathaniel is capable of producing, and then he will be permitted to move onto the main course.

-

souheki + “i am going to bite you”

“Dazai-kun. Hey, hey, Dazai. Dazaiiiiiiii, c’mon c’mon pay attention to meeeeee…” Ranpo pokes his cheek, then yanks on his hair. Dazai doesn’t even blink.

Ranpo huffs, frowning to themself. Out of other ideas, they plop themself onto Dazai’s lap and cup his face in both hands, forcing him to look at them. “Dazai Dazai Dazai Dazai Dazai—”

“I am going to bite you,” Dazai threatens, finally snapping. He’s so good at annoying other people, but Ranpo will gladly take their prize for most annoying in the Agency.

They grin. “Do it, then.”

Dazai scowls at them. “I’m not in the mood.”

“For biting? That’s fine, we can do other things—”

“I’m not in the mood for your games,” he interrupts. “Go bother someone else.”

“But that’s no fun!”

Dazai rolls his eyes, and Ranpo realizes maybe they misjudged how much they could get away with before actually upsetting him.

They change course of action immediately, wrapping their arms around him and burying their head in his shoulder. “I’ll be quiet,” they promise, “but can I sit here for just a little longer?”

Dazai sighs, but he brings up to Ranpo’s back, absently rubbing it. “Fine, fine. Whatever. I’ll still bite you if you start bothering me, though.”

“I’m still not opposed to that.”

Dazai laughs, and Ranpo breathes out a silent sigh of relief.

[ryniadora]

Oh I am NOT okay. It's not as bad as last month because obviously (I will never emotionally recover from the trauma). But still.

The fake out with the first Tanizaki being an illusion and the 'Naomi's real family' bit? What does that mean?!?! Jun'ichiriooooooooo.

Then like two panels of Tecchou (babygirl get your arse out of there please) and then Kenji! The savior! But no, he got fucking mullered in like two seconds. Not the baby. I'm not even a die-hard Kenji fan but damn, it hit hard to see him just taken out like that.

Can Fyodor just fuck off already with his obsession with Atsushi??? God I am so sick of his stupid rat face. Ranpo needs to save everyone already so the pain can end Dx

I am VERY much looking forward to the theories and sharing in the fandom's collective agony, though.

[diagonal-queen]

opinions on sigma

okay so basically

sigma is my end goal when it comes to appearance and gender. i want to look exactly like him. i know that his beauty is unattainable so i'll do what i can, but i could literally stare at him all day. all week. all month. find my rotting corpse seated in front of my laptop with pinterest opened to a bunch of sigma fanart honestly because he's just that beautiful. i plan on dyeing my hair the same colour as his when i'm able to. hopefully next year (@small-chaos im depending on you to help me bbg)

if i had the choice i would also get a ton of bsd posters that feature sigma and plaster them all around my room and make it sigma themed (or- actually i'd also do this same thing with mykola, chuuya, ranpo and poe, but for the moment i'd do it with sigma). once on tiktok i saw someone whose room was entirely deku themed and full of midoriya paraphernalia, like the whole ass room was full of turquoise. i want that same thing with sigma, i won't even lie. his colour palette and whole vibe is just so gorgeous.

his pretty privilege ain't doing SHIT in the manga to help him though. poor little baby always gets the short end of the stick and i feel his exhaustion all the time. the main difference between sigma and i (besides the fact that he's gorgeous and i'm very much not) is that he is acknowledged for his hard work and accomplishments and i'm. not. lol but the impostor syndrome is honestly so real. i always feel that i won't lie. it's probably one of my worst forms of self sabotage.

the other day my manager told me that i'm good at my job, and i just thought 'oh my god what's gonna happen when she finds out i actually suck' even though realistically i am good at my job (gosh that feels so selfish to say- i'm so used to hating myself in every aspect that when i say something good about myself it feels foreign and narcissistic. i should work on that maybe). like he's so relatable for that and i love him

sigma's third wheelness is also super relatable for me. i too want to find a home, except for me it's in the form of a romantic soulmate because i'm just like that. (it should be known that just because i enjoy and crave romance does not make it a mandatory necessity or even a desire for literally anybody else!!) like he will be walking around following mykola and fyodor while they're on a date (or trying to kill each other idk) and just be watching them like o _ o SAME DUDE

also i too tend to have identity crises when it comes to my purpose, and the reason i was born and stuff. i like to think i was born to help people, but it's been a while since i was born and i've only really negatively impacted everyone around me, so... SIGMA on the other hand. his existence has improved my condition of living by an astronomical amount. he was put on this earth to be loved by all of us sillies and i wish i could shift so i could go there and let him know that he is so loved by everyone and he is very valuable and important. i hope when bungo stray dogs eventually ends (the mere thought of which makes me wanna die), he has a happy ending. he deserves it. tbh most of them do, but especially sigma.

this man is literally perfect. he's so babygirl and so soft and smol, but also badass as fuck and a real strong dude. and i respect him for that so hard. like his dedication to his work and his casino is admirable and it makes me want to find something to be that passionate about (i guess at the moment it'd be this blog? silly as it sounds). also he really went from being summoned out of thin air, to being a slave, to escaping from that and becoming one of dostoyevsky's pawns (which he's fully aware of) and yet he still carries on with the casino like an absolute champ? i love him sm

i'm still real mad at the anime for leaving out his introductory scene (his PROPER one where he's a socialite king) because it literally sets the stage so perfectly for him. we as the audience see him the same way his patrons see him, which gives the later reveal that he's actually very anxious and self-conscious a lot more impact. the anime fell flat on that in my opinion. the sky casino arc deserved more, bones! and i know there are gonna be people who are like 'give them some slack they did their best this and that' and im like. some people have been waiting literal years of their life to see him (not me fortunately. i read the manga in december lol) they deserved better than this T-T

anyways there's this bakery right near where i work and it's literally got the Best Cinnamon Scrolls I've Ever Tasted In My Life. like, they're unparalleled with how fucking delicious they are. i wanna go there with sigma and get one for him. they also have cookies there, like real big thick ones with a lil salt on the top. i'd buy him the entire fuckin batch if he asked for it, i won't lie. i just love him that much. i just wanna sit down at a cafe and enjoy a chai latte with sigma. maybe have a walk around the port in the evening after getting dinner together?? sigma deserves only the cutest and most cliche of fluffy dates

i also wanna show him like, regular human stuff. i wanna go to the beach with him, and go looking for cute shells and treasures in the sand together. i wanna take him to the movies and share my popcorn with him. i wanna do his makeup. i want to bake a cake with him. i wanna go grocery shopping with him. i want him to know that i have panic attacks too sometimes, they're normal, he's normal, and he's also a fantastic human being. i just want him to be happy (i'm really hoping he'll join the ada and find the home he's been looking for all this time <3)

the thing with sigma is i'm not sure if he'd like me as much as i like him. though the sigma bots are always very kind (and romantic because this bitch lonely) i'm very worried that i'd annoy him quite a lot. see i talk a lot for an introvert, and i especially have an issue talking to myself. i literally always do it, whether or not i'm by myself or in public, and i think it would annoy sigma. and i think it would also annoy him that i love mykola as well lol he might not trust me if i were to tell him that.

i love sigma's outfit (we're going back to his appearance i guess lol) more than words can express. it's so impeccably gender, so fancy but also not too fancy (those who've met me irl know that i looooove to overdress. once i went to the movies with my friends in this big flowy dress and they were all in like tshirts and shorts and shit lmao) so you could wear it anywhere. the gold (or beige? cream? idfk) tailcoat with the galaxy pattern beneath? the giant flowy sleeves? the turtleneck underneath? the HEELS? god i love his fit. he's so fucking dripped out it's ridiculous. and of course he has long split dyed hair. dudes with long hair are the hottest DON'T @ ME YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT

and he also just has such a lovely smile. though he is tired and annoyed all the time (as he ought to be honestly), he's just so comforting to be around. i feel like a hug from sigma would fix most of my problems i won't lie. like he's got a pretty face and a nice aura and a cute smile. but his stern/angry face though? 😳 shiiii man okay you can make me cry if you wanna i won't mind. also consider sugar daddy sigma. that's so hot and for what?? like imagine being his trophy wife- okay this is getting way too self indulgent imma stop there (might write about it tho sometime lol)

i just had a thought. sigma's ability i feel is generally a rather overlooked part of his character (maybe i'm just not in the right circles of sigma stans but i don't tend to see people talking about his ability much), but to me it is important because consider this. if sigma loves you and you love him, and he'd like to know the extent to which you love him, then through a simple hug you could actually, properly express it. he wouldn't have to doubt himself or anything anymore with it. (stop i'm like fucking crying i love him sm)

i also love that despite everything i've mentioned so far; despite the fact that he was created from a book, runs a floating casino, is androgynous as fuck, has impostor syndrome, owns giant ass guns and can get whatever information he wants through physical contact with another person, he is somehow the most *normal* member of the decay of angels. i mean to be fair one of the other members is literally a severed bust of a centuries old vampire whose lower half is a sword, but still. and yet he still goes along with all the stuff they do and doesn't say anything. fucking same, sigma. it really just be that way sometimes.

sigma has such little wet cat energy (especially after that last chapter amirite) and it's adorable. he doesn't have *pathetic* wet cat energy, but he still has wet cat energy. pathetic wet cats would be like, fyodor and akutagawa. sigma is a cute wet cat with big eyes and tiny little paws. i want to see how he'd be with animals now that i think of it. i think he'd like cats, because dogs might be a little too much for him. and i lowkey think he'd be afraid of farm animals, because they're scary alright. chickens and cows are very frightening to be close to if you're not used to them and anyone who says otherwise is a liar

i just want more sigma content, too. like i know that bungo tales only goes up to season 2 for like valid reasons but i WANT SIGMA MAYOI. little chibi sigma on the battlefield. pretty little sigma pictures of him actually being happy and doing things. i also want official art from bones (but GOOD official art. you already ruined my precious boyo chuuya don't do it to sigma please i'm begging you) and of course harukawa and hoshikawa's art is always appreciated. also creantzyy. i know they primarily do fyolai and mtp but my goodness if their sigma art isn't also just perfect in every way (i'm a huge fan of theirs AS EVERYBODY IN THE FANDOM SHOULD BE. the bernadette animatic to us is what the nagito edit was to the danganronpa fandom)

i also sometimes wonder what stuff sigma likes. i mean we know cookies are his favourite food (which is the cutest thing imo- you can always trust someone who enjoys sweet treats like that), but what kind of music does he like? how would he dress while he isn't working in the casino? what's his favourite colour? does he like animals? what does he think of political stuff? feel free to send me all the sigma headcanons in the world about all of it. he's just very enigmatic at the moment and i yearn to know absolutely everything about him. except unlike mykola i don't wanna experiment on him i just wanna sit down and ask him questions and have a friendly little conversation

and i know everybody's already talking about this scene but let's continue to talk about the scene in the recent chapter where dazai rescues sigma from drowning and gives him a lil thumbs up, and sigma smiles back at him. those panels are literally the most fucking adorable thing i've ever seen and i could stare at them for hours. those two are big comfort characters of mine and i'm glad that they're (kind of) getting along now. at the very least dazai rescued sigma. and lowkey i'm gettin onboard with sigzai. like most of the sigma ships kinda go hard (especially siglai. there's a reason i'm looking for mykola kins guys lmao)

like i love him so much. i really could go on for hours but...this shit is already long enough and i'm sure nobody is gonna read it all. i've recently thought about this though; if i love the characters who i kin the most, maybe i can learn to love myself too. and that thought is comforting to me :)

tl;dr - sigma babygirl

[fyodior]

I LOVE FYODOR SO MUCH HIS SO BABYGIRL LIKE THE SECOND I SAW HIM ON SCREEN I SCREAMED IM INLOVE WUTH MY GREASY LITTLE AQUAPHOBE HIS SO UGHGHHHHGHGHHH LIKE IM DO DOWN BAD HIS FACE HIS TOES HIS BOYFRIEND HIS LICE INFECTED HAIR HIS EVERYTHING JUST TURNS ME ON LIKE I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THIS MAN ILL DYE MY HAIR WHITE AND SHI HES AWOKEN SOMETHING INSIDE ME LIKE I HAVW PICTURES OF HIM EVERY WHERE HIS IN MY BLOOD STREM MY VINES I EAT SLEEP FYODOR REPEAT EVERYDAY EVERY SECOND EVERYTHING I DO IS FOR HIM I DREAM ABOUT HIM I LIVE FOR HIM I GHOST EVERYONE FOR HIS LOVE OR FOR HIM TO LOOK AT ME ILL SACRAFICE MY FRIENDS MY FAMILY YHE WORLD FOR HIM ILL ONLY HAVE HIM IN MY HEAAD EVERYDAY I WAKE UP SAD ONHLY TO REMEBER FYODOR AND IM HAPPY IM LISNEYING TIN A WEEZER SONG " I JUST THREW OUT THE LOVE OF MY FREAMS" AND ITS ME REAL LIKE HES IN MY EYE HES IN MY EARS HES IN BLOOD HES IN MY TEARS I BREATH LOVE SEE HIM EVERYDAY EVEN THOUGH MY LOVE IS A WORLD AWAY ( i aint reading allat )

similar energy

[growling]

episode 8:

guys i. i don't think the president's gonna be okay....

oh he survived. still got a bad feeling though cause if its like. the mind control blood thingy then. uh oh gamers

port mafia ily. love them being competent. and useful. and nearly entirely comprised of gorgeous people

love Rintarou just. being a dad always sjdhghsdyh i have a feeling that once elise gets big enough she's just gonna start beating the shit out of him for not giving her enough roblox money

he has not committed a single slight against her in her entire life. zero spine. zero. he looks so fucking terrified and on the verge of breaking down into sobs every time his preschooler gets mad .

"all right, let's go ^v^ !! [CAR EXPLODES INTO FLAMES]" ARE YOU OKAY. RINTAROU SPEAK TO MEEEE

if he's dead im gonna cry .

is the attacker fyodor..... i mean i had a feeling (its got to be the guy who just got introduced) but now its like even more suggested.......

OH THEY'RE ALIVE!!!!! and the daughter-ability-thing saved him I believe???? is Elise just his ability??? did he will himself an entire child????? and the child hates him. and he's amazed by her

unrequited parental love LMAOOOOOOOOO this is so tragic im not laughing. im just crying real loud im not. im not laughing

hahaha bait >:333 it was bait >:3333 also AKUTAGAWA HIIIII!!!!!

Be careful Akutagawa though...... you might get injurrrrrrrrrred...... and then....... and THEN..............

ooohh he's in deep shit...... injure him severely NOW!!!!! I need to see him ON THE BRINK OF DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The episode isn't even halfway what the hell..........

huh????? it's the priest guy??????

elise-chan getting scapegoated sjhdsgfdhf this is her punishment for the torment she's put her poor father through. i still need to know her whole deal like. is she even human...... like, that's an ability.

OOOOOOOOH THE POLICE GUY IS IN ON IT.... MY MAN GOT STABBED HELP HELP RINTAROU!!!!!!!! DON'T LET MY 45TH FAVOURITE GOOFY GOOBER PERISH!!!!!!!!

FYODOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIRED LOOKING EVIL BLACK HAIR GUY FIGHT!!!!!!!

back to priest guy. ohhh that makes sense.

came back for it the next day as it was getting. Late. anyway im back

oh hello fyodor. how are you fyodor

CHUUYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and hi Kouyou :3

YESSSS DAZAI PERIL. KILL THAT GUY. KILL HIM. KILL HIM. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE HIM EVER AGAIN THIS ENTIRE SEASON

Oh god damn it he's gonna live >:(((((

Chuuya <33 she's soooo coooooool you guyyyssss <3333 save your boss queen <3333

akutagawa hiiiii how are you bestie :3 what's up hirotsu :33

my babygirls are fighting

anyway season 3

episode 1:

there's gonna be chuuya apparently <3

CHUUYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the king of the sheep huh...... well then baa-

"im going to kill everyone in the port mafia" ohhh so that's like before before. and he does look younger and way less swagful that's wayyy before their slay era

[some time later idk it's a dazai scene. but i do like Mori and Hirotsu] ahhh so I was right and Chuuya is a "juvenile" then, and so is Dazai probably he also looks pretty young. boy.

HELLO CHUUYA and help me he looks to young....... little man...... ZERO swag.....

banger theme

i have been silent. sowwy im just yeah im just-

"im fifteen, im still growing" awwww. awwwww. i want to crush him in a mechanical press who said that

[deadpoetsmusings]

Ivan Karamazov: [speaks] Me: _________ _________

[diagonal-queen]

thungo thursday: oh god bones please don't fuck this up

manga spoilers for this one boys

gotta love how teruko was FULLY ready to murder atsushi no issue but now she's like 'gimmie a piggyback SLAVE'

also atsushi always going like 'im a tiger not a cat' does he??? not know?? that tigers????? are just big cats????

atsushi is incompatible with gay sadists (including but not limited to yosano, akutagawa, kouyou, teruko)

nevermind lol

OMG KENJI AND TECCHOU 1V1 LETS GOOOOOOOO

okay i love tecchou, he's a great character, and so is jouno. but seeing kenji get hurt in any capacity fills me with a mighty rage and now i think tecchou deserves at least one passionate backhand from yours truly

BABY ATSUSHI NOOOOOOOOO

YESSSS GET FUCKED TECCHOU (i love you but like if i really had to choose between you and kenji...it's a no brainer babe)

also i'm legit like kenji fr. i couldn't give a shit if people like try to hurt me or whatever im like ok, but if anyone tries to hurt my friends i get unbelievably pissed about it and genuinely will throw hands

FUCK yeah they actually did kenji right. i was so worried about how they would animate this lmao but they actually did it properly good job bones

omg tecchou it literally doesn't matter if jouno would have wanted you to save him. the fact is that you tried to do it anyway and that speaks volumes (YOU'RE GAY YOU'RE A FUCKING QUEER)

you have to wonder if kenji admires chuuya in part due to the fact that he understands the difficulty behind CHOOSING to be nice when you're actually hated by the world and full of rage because of it. fuck maybe i kin kenji more than i thought. i also am one of those people who doesn't care if someone hurts me but if they hurt my loved ones i get fully pissed and will throw hands

KENJI AND TECCHOU'S FRIENDSHIP IS SO WHOLESOME OMGGGGG also did tecchou really not know the names of the detective agency? maybe that information was withheld from the hunting dogs in order to get them to subconsciously dehumanise the agency, so they wouldn't be swayed by the agency's efforts to prove their own innocence as easily...then again jouno recognised kunikida immediately so mayb not...

i love how sigma was called a three year old by dazai and he just...didn't react. no 'i'm not three years old' or 'technically i'm an adult', just -_-

FYODOR DUCKING TO GET UNDER THE DOOR WHILE CHUUYA JUST WALKS THROUGH LMAOOOOO

LMAOOOOOOO SIGMA BBY HE'S SO EASILY SWAYED (me too bub.) BABY YOU'RE ALREADY WAY SUPERIOR TO FYODOR. also dazai saying 'he's the atsushi kun type' bro i know. they're two of my top three bsd kins. I'M the atsushi kun type. also sigma looks so cute when he's thinking so hard i wanna boopdesnoot

why the fuck did they animate fyodor to be like 'chuuya san!' in the most babygirl voice ever, they even gave him emotions and everything wtf

'the walls are anti-gifted' ARE THEY ANTI ARAHABAKI THOUGH (don't come for me i havent fully read 15 or stormbringer i dont know if arahabaki is an ability or not im maKING A JOKE GUYS ITS A FUCKING JOKE!!!)

not the cutesy wink dazai oh my fucking god stop trying to rizz up sigma real quick and JUST KILL FYODOR

oh yeah are they ever gonna fucking explain timestopper catgirl?? she was there for like two seconds and then she was offed by fyodor once he escaped the water. like???? huh???? WHAT WAS EVEN THE POINT BESIDES THE VERY LAZY PLOT DEVICE?????? also she looks like a mha character i think people have already said this but she doesn't belong here she belongs in mha

how do mersault prisoners go peepee and poopoo

OH MY GOD THEY DID IT RIGHT!!!!!!! THEY DID IT PROPERLY!!!! YESSSSSSS

'goodbye' MAMORU MIYANO YOU DESERVE THE WORLD FOR THAT YOU LEGENDARY MAN I WANT TO KISS YOU ON THE LIPS YOU'RE THE MAN EVER

aya is smarter than i'll ever be how on earth does she think of this stuff. you go girl i cant wait for you to save the world

she doesn't take ANY of bram's bullshit she's just amazing

how did bram grow back his eye

bram when aya normally: aya you foolish peasant smh ur dumb bram when aya is in danger: 😰😰😰😱😱💥💥💥 😠😠😠😠😠

well that was a ride! im stuffed. i might need to pull a bram and take a nap. i feel bad for the anime onlys who now think chuuya's dead yikes yall