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grassbreads · 3 months ago

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I finished Pet Shop of Horrors: Tokyo, and I have some mixed feelings about it as a sequel.

On one hand, it was a lot of fun! I genuinely adore the choice to set it in Kabukicho and have Count D start befriending all the local queer people. I really enjoyed leaning a bit into D's cuter, goofier side, as well as his more benevolent and helpful side. Him running around giving magic pregnancy eggs to lesbian couples and having tea with drag queens is 10/10. Him clowning on Lau Wufei constantly is also 10/10. And I really don't mind that the series went in a more non-horror direction, as I really can see the appeal of that from a characterization perspective. Count D deciding to use his insight (and pets) to prod people in harrowing but helpful ways instead of just setting them up for Thematically Appropriate Death/Misery most of the time like he did in the pre-Leon-and-Chris days is a really interesting choice for him to make.

Also, some of the chapters were genuinely quite good as standalone stories! I loved Deathtrap, Decadence, and Dispatch, just to name a few. And the sphynx cat guy!! The sphynx cat guy is the pet of all time tbh.

All in all, I had a pretty good time reading Tokyo! If nothing else, I was quite consistently delighted by D, and most of the individual chapters' stories were compelling (though a few of the ~animals all along~ twists felt rather forced or contrived).

On the other hand, Tokyo did feel like it was missing big parts of the appeal of the original Pet Shop of Horrors. Some of what I loved about the original, murders or no, just wasn't in there.

To start with, I feel like Count D somehow managed to lose a big chunk of his depth from the original series. His family is barely mentioned at all! I can remember one brief reference to his father (and his father's death), and his grandfather comes up relatively rarely as well (mostly just to hammer home why Lau Wufei can't kick D out of his building). And that's wild! Because D's relationship to his family and his family's purpose was a big underlying part of his character in the original. Even in early chapters when we knew nothing about what the Ds were or how their Whole Thing worked, the manga made that familial element feel ominous and important. But now it's all out in the open, now the audience knows what D is and how his family works, and the thread just. gets dropped.

How does D feel about the death of his father? How does he feel about knowing that his grandfather was secretly observing him the whole time he was in L.A. (and possibly for a long time before then)? Is he still in contact with his grandfather while in Tokyo? How is their relationship now? How does he feel about knowing that his grandfather is raising his new brother/son/reborn dad/whatever the hell you want to call the new D? I get that this is a new series in a new magazine, so D's feelings about the original series were never going to be the centerpoint, but leaving out his connection to these events entirely just feels like SUCH a glaring omission. And if he's purposely avoiding thinking about these things, then show us that!

And as an expansion of that, what about the whole revenge mission D is supposed to be carrying out? In the original series, D dreams of extinct animals and wakes up crying. Masses of animals dying on the other side of the world in a wildfire gives him nightmares and makes him feel like he can hear their screams. He nearly collapses and gives everything up while he's on the run close to the end, but he has a vision that prevents him from doing so. His family's purpose isn't just something pushed on him by his grandfather—it's something he is constantly haunted by. The Ds are not allowed to forget the suffering that drives them.

So like, I am absolutely down for a D that chooses to embrace some small measure of hope and move away from a search for vengeance. I love that, actually. I think it's a great way to show the impact Leon and Chris have on him. But Tokyo gives us absolutely nothing in terms of D actually making and dealing with the fallout of that choice. We see him seeking to help out and protect endangered native species, and he's generally compelled by sole survivors and dying embers of every kind, but that's really all we get from this angle of him.

How does D deal with the pain and sadness and anger that runs in his veins? Does he struggle to justify his shift in methods? Both to his grandfather (if they're talking) and to himself? Does he struggle to reconcile his fondness for individual people and his hope for a redeemed humanity with the continuing degradation of the natural world throughout the 2000s? Does he view himself as a helper of humanity now? Human-neutral? Does he see himself as a guide? It's almost impossible to say, because PSoH: Tokyo just does not tell us.

The suffering of the whole natural world runs in D's blood, and D in the original absolutely does struggle to reconcile that fact with his growing care for humanity and humans. He's still conflicted even at the very end, loving Leon enough to let him onto the ship for a moment, but knowing despite the tears he sheds that he cannot let him stay. But Tokyo!D seems like that contradiction has just ceased to be a problem for him. If he's learned to set aside the fear and pain and rage that runs in his blood, it would be nice to see that development. If he feels he's somehow doing right by his mission as he helps the human and animal denizens of Kabukicho, it would be nice to see that justification.

Overall, in Tokyo, D just never seems to struggle with anything. He seems to have no real problems! He's rarely upset, especially late in the series. He has no difficulties bigger than "can't find a kappa when he wants to" or "passes out after Lau Wufei makes him do too many blood tests." I do really enjoy D's sillier side, and I'm happy to see a version of him that seems happier overall, but taking away all of his struggles just makes him feel like he's had all of his depth sucked out.

The original PSoH has whole chapters where D himself is the "victim" of the supernatural happening of the week (the orangutan in Donor, and to an extent the mermaid in Deep and reincarnation in Dynasty). In particular, though Donor has a tie-in plot for Leon, the chapter's story and themes ultimately all center around D and his painful relationship with his family. Dynasty centers on the Counts' disconnect from humanity and our D's emotional struggle to deal with that despite caring for people more than his ancestors did. Can you imagine getting a chapter like that in Tokyo? A whole chapter about inflicting D with complicated emotions, about making him feel yearning, regret, and grief? There's just nothing like that.

There's the very occasional moment in Tokyo that hints a bit at D's deeper, more serious feelings, but for the most part, he feels like he's been fully reduced to Funny Playful Magic Animal Guy. Even when he's letting darker things happen, handing out brood parasites or giving people nightmares to teach them lessons, his violence is handled as glibly as his dessert shopping is.

And beside my issues with what the change to Count D's writing does to him as a character, I do think Tokyo overall loses a lot of the appeal and atmosphere from the original series with its refusal to take him seriously. If there's one thing the original PSoH is good at, it's creating a sense of intrigue and mystique around the Count(s). We spend a lot of time in the pet shop, exploring its back hallways with customers and seeing D in his element there, and it always treads the line between enchanting and unsettling. The back of D's shop is a seemingly infinite labyrinth of hallways and curtains and ornate doors, and some of the "rooms" he has back there aren't even rooms at all. Customers find themselves in dim, impossible spaces lined with incense and heavy curtains, and they are somehow talked into buying "pets" that they never would have wanted in another circumstance. Even when D really does end up helping his customers rather than hurting them, people are off-kilter in the depths of the pet shop. They're unsettled, and yet they find themselves seduced. D himself is hypnotic and enticing in his voice and mannerisms, the avatar of the pet shop's seduction. It's really compelling on an aesthetic level.

The horror element expands on this, adding that knife-edge tension where we never know whether D is going to fix his customer's life or ruin it. Even as he gets more consistently helpful toward the end of the series, helping a customer may still mean breaking them down emotionally or enabling them to kill somebody else. But even if Tokyo wanted to commit to D getting less murderous, even if the creator no longer wanted the audience to worry D might kill half his customers, that doesn't mean we had to lose all the tension in his store. We get lots of "oh, this is strange" when people enter D's twisting back hallways in Tokyo, and Lau Wufei keeps grumbling to himself about how he has to check the blueprints because nothing makes sense, but almost nobody ever seems frightened by that strangeness.

And when people are unsettled by D, when we do get a brief moment where he's allowed to be enticing and ominous once again, it's always played off. He always returns to the happy silly animal guy again, almost like the thought he could still be truly dangerous is just a self-referential joke. D walks past a suicidal man on the street, senses his desire for death, and entices him back to the pet store, but it's so he can make him dress up as santa. D's ability to conjure up tangible afterimages of a long-extinct past—once used both as a way to maim or kill threats and as a way to cope with the immense grief he carries—is now used mostly as a way to replicate a video game for the side characters.

And speaking of those side characters, I feel like the pet shop itself almost gets sidelined along with D's more serious elements. How many of the chapters in Tokyo center on local wildlife (or local monsters) not actually tied to the store at all? How often is D just a friendly outsider that intervenes a bit to help events along? How often do the supernatural beings causing trouble simply visit D at his shop for a helping hand or a friendly chat, rather than originating from him? And of the stories that do hinge on him selling a pet or "pet" to someone, how many of those are centered on mundane animals?

It's not like D never causes trouble or sells supernatural creatures anymore in Tokyo, and it's not like the original didn't have cat and dog stories or stories where D just happened to stumble on the mystery of the week, but even the chapters centered on mundane animals in the original managed to be quite unsettling at times. Again, for myriad reasons, the pet shop just loses so much of its mystique in its Tokyo portrayal, and I think that's a real shame. The shop begins to feel like a fun curiosity, rather than the story's enigmatic beating heart.

It feels like there's a lot less imagery in Tokyo of D with the pets in their humanoid forms. Those panels were always so unsettling, between the almost-but-not-quite humanity of the designs and the uncomfortable sensuality of them. It was a reminder that the animals filling up the background shots in the shop were all quite sentient and potentially dangerous. It added to that air of heavy, seductive mystique I keep talking about. Leon hears D speaking to others through the shop's door, and he's unsettled when he enters and finds nobody but animals inside. Is Lau Wufei or anyone else in Tokyo ever properly unsettled by the strangeness of the animals in D's shop? For more than a few panels?

Where are Tetsu and Pon-chan? They're there on the sidelines sometimes, making faces and reacting to things, but they hardly ever get to do anything. They have no character development, no real bearing on the plots of any of the chapters. In fact, the only pet that ever gets to be important for more than one chapter is the Egyptian cat kid, and I'm pretty sure that kid is just a cameo from one of the creator's other manga. Why does he get to be more important than the original PSoH's menagerie? Where the hell is Honlon?? And it's not like we ever get a hint that D's setting up shop has coincided with an increase in deaths around Kabukicho, so what does the Totetsu eat?

There's a brief scene of humanoid Ten-chan lounging in D's bedroom with a few other pets and chatting about the problem of the month with D in one of the late Tokyo chapters, and I was honestly shocked when I got to it, because until that point it seemed like Tokyo had forgotten those types of scenes could even be done. Just a small handful more of those moments could have really helped create more interiority for D and the pets and make Tokyo feel a bit more like the original, but instead, moments focused solely on D and the pet store's denizens are few and far between.

The original Pet Shop of Horrors was an episodic, atmospheric series of horror stories and haunting moral tragedies, and those individual stories were tied together and given momentum by the over-arching mystery of Count D and the pet shop, as well as the growing emotional bond between D, Leon, and Chris. It's the story of Leon Orcot trying to understand the secrets of the dangerous, enigmatic Count D.

What is Tokyo the story of? It's not the story of Lau Wufei trying to understand the enigmatic Count D, or it does a bad job of being that if it's intended, because Wufei never actually come close to understanding him. D and Wufei become friends of a sort, but they don't seem to actually have an emotional bond. They're work friends! D cries when he leaves Leon behind, and Shuko, an echo of D, cries when it's time for Chris to move on. D sure as hell doesn't shed tears over Wufei. And Wufei, though he seems to acknowledge that D gets up to some weird mystical shit, never learns anything close to the truth of him.

Tokyo doesn't have the original PSoH's over-arching mystery (or any fleshed-out over-arching plot at all). It refuses to engage with D's more fraught, weighty character and story elements. It doesn't have an emotional core in the form of well-developed, caring relationships between the central characters. It doesn't have much focus on the key members of D's haunting menagerie, since the pet with the most screen time doesn't even live with him. It barely has any of the unsettling, enticing aesthetic elements that give the original so much of its ever-compelling mystique.

What does Tokyo give us instead of all that we're missing? Lau Wufei gets bits and pieces character development, and he has compelling aspects with his hunger for power, his hesitance around romance, and his fraught relationship with his dad, but Tokyo also seems afraid to commit too hard to treating him seriously as an emotional agent.

Wufei was never going to replace Leon, but I do think there's a potential version of Tokyo where he and D could have been allowed to bond in a deeper way. A real friendship with Wufei might have been a way to tease out the more serious sides of D. It could have been a way to flesh out Wufei, to put more emphasis on his character and growth, while also letting D talk about his feelings about Leon and his family with someone.

Wufei is probably the most dynamic, emotionally changed character in Tokyo, and I still can't say he changes that radically between the opening chapter and the end. Chapter 2 Leon would have reacted to the finale quite differently than chapter 37 Leon did. I'm honestly not sure how chapter 3 Wufei would have reacted to his finale with the Kirin. He might have taken the offer, but I don't feel like I have enough deep insight into his feelings on the matter to say. And if Wufei is bordering on static, then D, Chin, and the pets are also static to an almost unbearable degree.

Overall, Pet Shop of Horrors: Tokyo almost feels like a manga that's afraid of itself. It's afraid to dig too deeply into its characters, so everything stays happy and silly, and even the characters' inner conflicts and focus chapters are fairly surface-level. It's afraid of the blood and horror of the original series, afraid to let D be more than a little bit morally complex or get his hands dirty. All the violence has to come from outside sources and give him some vague deniability.

Some of the standalone stories in Tokyo are quite good, the happy new take on D is constantly delightful, and the addition of the culture of Kabukicho is genuinely quite a brilliant direction to take the story. But a ~fun~ character, a brilliant setting, and some good episodic elements do not an overall compelling story make. At least, not when you're writing a direct followup to something that managed to have an overarching emotional depth that worked in tandem with its episodic nature. Maybe I'd have fewer issues with the static characters and lack of overarching connection if the franchise hadn't already established its ability to do those things well, but as it stands, the absence leaves Tokyo feeling unsatisfying, incomplete, and empty.

I had fun reading Pet Shop of Horrors: Tokyo! I think it is, for the most part, a very enjoyable read, especially for a fan of Count D like me. However, despite my enjoying it deeply, I don't know I actually like it in the ways that matter. I don't know if it has much deeper worth as a whole story (setting aside the worth of the better standalone chapters). I don't know if I really approve of it as a followup to the original PSoH.

Tokyo is goofy and fun and intriguing, but I know there's so much more it could have been. There's so much more the characters could have been. D's lack of reuinion with Leon at the end is far, far from the only way in which it feels like it's lacking in any real resolution.

Fun or not, it's just hard to give a full two thumbs up to a story in which the beloved main character barely seems to change or increase in depth between the first and last pages, despite the fact that he has 43 chapters to do so. I know from the original that Akino has the ability to tell a story that's fun and also so much more on top of that, so it's frustrating that the sequel feels like a regression.

#this post was really REALLY not supposed to be this long #but apparently I had a lot more thoughts on this topic than I realized when I started writing #I think the secondary protagonists speak well for their respective psoh incarnations.#Leon Orcot is an annoying headstrong doofus that we love to watch get clowned on #he's also the symbolic embodiment of humanity and our species's will to survive no matter the cost #the crass gun-toting foil to everything Count D is and is supposed to stand for #Lau Wufei is an annoying self-assured doofus that we love to watch get clowned on #end of sentence #and I wish that he. and tokyo as a whole. were a little bit more #psoh #andie reads psoh #pet shop of horrors #pet shop of horrors: tokyo #shin pet shop of horrors

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margoshansons · 4 months ago

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I think based on what Gwayne says in the courtyard that it’s now been a couple of months. He said he’d been traveling for 2 months (?) to get there and I’m pretty sure he was asked to come because Viserys died, Aegon was crowned and a war was started. Alicent also said Visserys died weeks ago in her conversation with Larys.

It’s also Alicent’s first time taking moon tea, the maester as never brewed it for her based on his warnings to her and her reaction to it. I think she would’ve prepared better if she had. She and Criston have been having sex since just days after Viserys died, she hasn’t been taking moon tea to prevent a pregnancy like a morning after pill, there’s a short window of time for that. They were doing it a lot as well- daily and sometimes twice a day, that would cover her fertility window.

Some time has passed since Viserys’s death and it has even been 2 weeks since Criston left. Enough time has passed that she could definitely knows that she is pregnant. The moon tea is now an abortion pill for her and not emergency contraception. Judging by her pain, I think she was definitely in the first ultrasound stage of pregnancy between 5-8 weeks, where you’d hear the heartbeat and they measure the baby to give you the estimated date of conception and a due date.

Time in this show is a big issue though, Jace’s pace to the North from Dragonstone and then the wall from there with people on foot and horse, in snow. Oscar Tully showing up at Harrenhal almost instantly when Riverrun is on the opposite side of the Riverlands. Daemon rows by himself from Dragonstone to Kingslanding before dark. Rhaenyra is gone for days traveling the same distance.

Gwayne’s travel time is the only realistic travel time.

I just wish we got more of an indicator, especially if it is supposed to be within the first few weeks of pregnancy.

I would buy that it takes two weeks for Criston to reach Rook's Rest on top of however long Gwayne's trip is.

THIS map says Oldtown is just over 1000 miles from KL and Winterfell is just over 1600. We know it takes Robert a month to get to Winterfell, along with stops for Cersei and her kids.

Gwayne obviously would be headed to KL at quickly as possible, probably right after Aegon was crowned because Otto mentions sending ravens to Oldtown in The Green Council. He was marching with an army, but there were no wheelhouses, like Cersei or Robert, so LOGICALLY it should have taken less than a month, if we're going based off miles and how long it takes to travel.

If we do the math, a horse travels around 30-40 miles per day. If we're generous and give them 40, it would only take 25 days for Gwayne and his retinue to get to Oldtown. Even if we go the slowest with 30 miles, it's still 33 days.

I would say AT MOST Gwayne takes a month to get to KL, maybe an extra week, definitely not two months.

So being generous, let's say a month and a half has passed since Viserys' death. It is entirely possible Alicent knew she was pregnant, but we have no other indicators that she was other than the moon tea.

As for the distance from Dragonstone to KL....

Going by the map above, DS is 428 miles away from KL. Let's be generous and say they travel by sea day and night (like Daemon rowing), it would still take them 2.5 days AT THE LEAST to get to KL.

But we can say Rhaenyra only sailed by day, not night, which would halve her speed, then it makes sense for her to be gone for a couple days cause it would take her around 5 days to get to KL.

Now this actually lines up with Oscar Tully's travel time, because Riverrun to Harrenhal would take around 6 days. HOWEVER, Raventree Hall (where the Blackwoods are) is the same distance away which means it would be ANOTHER 6 DAYS for Willem Blackwood to get to Harrenhal.

Again, we can explain this away by saying "Oh Daemon summoned Oscar Tully the week Criston left and Willem Blackwood the week Rhaenyra went to KL" BUT WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN IT AWAY.

as for the rest of the distance, Jace could probably make it to Winterfell by dragon in a day, he could make it to the Eyrie in half that time, but it would take a full day to get to the Eyrie from Winterfell on a dragon.

Going to the wall makes this even more impossible, because if they don't travel by dragon, it takes them AT LEAST, with horses, two weeks to get there. If they went on foot with the rest of the NW recruits, so that would take them AN EXTRA MONTH.

Then because we don't see Vermax, we have to assume Jace didn't take him to the wall, which means it's ANOTHER MONTH to get back to Winterfell so he can fly to the Eyrie.

(and it takes three days for a raven to fly from KL to Winterfell, so we can assume the same distance for Dragonstone, which means it's even MORE TIME lost)

It's logical to assume a month and a half has passed since Viserys and Lucerys' death, but that is the BARE MINIMUM.

Because otherwise, we're left to believe Rhaenyra spent TWO MONTHS looking for her son and doing NOTHING after her father's death, because that is the least amount of time Jace could have taken to treat with Cregan and Jeyne.

and that's BAD WRITING.

(btw I used this for helping calculate travel distances)

#house of the dragon #anti ryan condal #hotd critical #everyone say thank you to the wonderful people who provided me with these links #and my calculator for always being by my side

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abloomingsunflower · 10 months ago

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Introducing...Krono in E.L.A!

Basic information:

Krono has been a royal guard for the Light Kingdom for over 15 years. He's quiet, wise, loyal to the ones he serves, yet full of secrets and mysteries.

He's 32 years old, 6'0 ft tall, and there is a possibility he could be trans. People often mistake him for a female because of his long hair, even though he has made it clear numerous times he's a male.

Origins:

Krono is, in fact, a descendant of Lanny. The only one. He is fully aware of this, and fully determined to hide it.

Not much is known about him and his relations, unfortunately. Krono is very mysterious and secretive.

Abilities:

What he shows:

-Sword skills. -Normal strength.

-Knowledge in a few simple spells. -Bone attacks and Gaster Blasters

What he has:

-Immortality (unable to age). -Healing.

-Flight. (He can summon wings) -Photokinesis.

-Telepathy. -Teleportation.

-Superhuman strength. -Superhuman durability.

-Lots of knowledge on spellcasting. -Apportation.

-Shapeshifting. -Seeing the spirits.

-Able to pause time for an hour and/or rewind it to AT LEAST two and a half days before an incident. (His magic has limits, and consequences for himself ofc <3)

-Anddd lets not forget the ones above-

His opinion on other people:

-Dream.

"The king I serve to. I'm glad he accepted me when I offered myself to be a royal guard. I'm..actually surprised he didn't ask any questions about me. Anywho, he's flawed, but so is everyone. At least he's a fair ruler and a kind person to his guards and subjects."

-Hope.

"Ah, a fellow comrade. They have been here for centuries compared to me, we get along pretty well. I like the tea they make. It's truly refreshing to have a normal conversation and tea with someone after so long.."

-Ink.

"The 'mistress' of this palace. Going out every night to meet up with that man, completely neglecting her duty as a wife and a mother. For the sake of the lord, I tried to get her to stop drinking. She still keeps drinking, and I still continue to try getting through to a hopeless woman.."

-Swap.

"I still remember him visiting once..He seemed so happy to meet a new guard. Poor man, disabled because of a greedy tyrant. When I find free time, I should pay him a visit."

-Lux.

"The young princess? ..It's a shame she turned out this way. Spreading rumors, framing her younger brother, even going as far as to killing him. Why..yes, I am aware of the timelines. I am aware of the sins she has done. But I'm trying to not be suspected much."

-Palette.

"I do my best to help him and his friend. Things are certainly not easy for him right now. I offer him advice whenever I can, help him to continue pushing on through in this pathetic world. I even try defending him whenever he gets in trouble. He's a good kid, going through things he doesn't deserve.. I just wish I was around more often, I could prevent his deaths. I'm also trying to keep a low profile as best as I can. I don't want to raise suspicion from others."

-Angst.

"He's the one I should be more careful from. This kid means trouble for sure, can't risk it. That power knows no bounds. I can sense a fragment of *her* magic from him as well.. I don't understand how queen mother gave her blessing to him. Is she still as gullible as ever, even in the afterlife?"

-Passivemare.

"I see him over and over everywhere..He's even going after Iris now. He's a huge disadvantage for me, since he's the one messing with Lux. Good thing I carry salt with me. I am not afraid to use it if he even thinks about getting near me. Survival calls for extreme measures, afterall. "

-Nim.

"The Empress that doomed us all. I believe she is quite upset with my interference in this game. Well, well, let her stay mad. She would do the same if she were in our shoes, wouldn't she?"

-Lanny.

"My ancestor. I still have vague memories of our now ruined kingdom. It's a shame she died, it's a shame the Magic Kingdom got wiped out of history entirely. I still remember how lively it was back then..until those damn wars happened.. Once everything is over, I really don't have any plans on what to do. Should I simply give up, or try to rebuilt the kingdom..?"

-I give up. [Creator said calmly/j]

E.L.A by @anotherrosesthatfell

Krono belongs to me-

#a sunflower in full bloom au #evil lux au #krono [e.l.a]#I felt very lazy so I really didn't bother to write his opinion on the rest #or any fun facts about him-#So have fun reading ;w;

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echologname · 11 months ago

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🚨Overdosing on your inhaler⚠️

The doctor I spoke with said inhaler ODing isn't well researched because most people don't over do it. However, it does happen to some asthmatic individuals, especially during desperate times. This was my experience and I hope to God no one will have to suffer the side effects like I have been the past few weeks. 😭

It started when I got a horrible cold and with my asthma, even a small upper respiratory infection suffocates me. With this big one, I was having asthma attacks too often to sleep for 3 days, the night before I ODed, I fell asleep on the bathroom floor because I needed the steam to sooth my lungs because I COULDN'T catch my breath, I would just keep coughing so much that I'd gag on trying to inhale. So, sleep deprivation was probably a factor in my poor judgement. I was taking Advair, a 12 hr inhaler and I got confused with the Albuterol, a 4 hr that's safe to take multiple puffs of if I NEED it to continue breathing. I was supposed to take 2 MAX of the Advair out of the entire day but instead I took 6 or more (I wasn't keeping track, I was too tired and spacey). That night, (exactly one week before Thanksgiving) I suddenly felt like my whole body was on fire, my heart was racing, I was shaking, pupils were dilated, I felt like I was dying a horrible death and wanted to go to the ER but my mom assured me I was fine and I just needed to wait for the steroids to pass out of my system. So, I just laid on the floor of my parent's bedroom all night going through the worst experience I've EVER gone through (kidney stone is a close second).

I use the Albuterol as a rescue inhaler because it's fast acting, it contains beta-agonists which reduce inflammation and bronchoconstriction to help increase airflow through the tubules in the lungs called bronchioles which get inflamed and restricted due to triggers aggravating them like a virus.

I've never taken Advair before, insurance suddenly decided Dulera (and before that, Symbicort) was no longer supported. Anyway, I misheard the directions when they were given to me verbally (God, the one time my autistic brain is too tired to process, it could have killed me!😵) and thought taking multiple was safe (the directions aren't on the inhaler itself, it's on the box that was thrown out). Anyway, these types of inhalers are only for preventative measures to make the bronchioles less sensitive to triggers and are a corticolsteroid.

So, inhalers aren't a medication that magically makes you less asthmatic, it's artificial cortisol, the stress hormone. It targets your nervous system and purposefully gives you mild stress (if you took the correct dosage, this wouldn't be as noticable) so your body's survival instincts will keep you from suffocating.

If you have allergies, you may be familiar with an EpiPen. They contain epinephrine which is artificial adrenaline and works the same way. Taking a dose of epinephrine is dangerous which is why it's ONLY used in emergencies and why you ALWAYS call 911 after using it.

So, the side effects of inhalers:

From Albuterol's website:

Nervousness or shakiness, headache, throat or nasal irritation, and muscle aches. More-serious — though less common — side effects include a rapid heart rate, called tachycardia, or feelings of fluttering or a pounding heart, called palpitations.

So, that explains a lot. 😨

And for Advair:

Upper respiratory tract infection, throat irritation, hoarseness and voice changes, thrush in your mouth or throat, bronchitis, cough, headache, and nausea and vomiting. In children with asthma, infections in the ear, nose, and throat are common.

I also read that some side effects of an inhaler can be seizures. Thank God that didn't happen.😬

What I've been personally experiencing weeks after the incident:

Coughing and tightness in my lungs and insomnia (how ironic this started because I was coughing so much and losing sleep over it. Now I've hardly slept in weeks). My chest has been hurting like CRAZY non-stop. Headaches and sharp pain for muscle cramps. My kidney where I had a kidney stone 3 years ago aches. Basically, every inch if my body hurts all the time, some parts much more than others. And WORST of all, episodes of reoccurring symptoms from that night where I feel like I'm dying again.

The panic attacks:

I never realized how disabling these Hellish experiences are! I can't function, my nerves are haywire and I feel like I'm in desperate need of medical attention. My chest pain has worsened, heart rate increased, a burning sensation in my chest (I assume it's the nerves themselves being inflamed) and I can't help but shake.

After following up with a doctor:

So, during one particularly bad panic attack, I was on the floor writhing in pain and crying, begging to be driven to the ER. They did an EKG, bedside echocardiogram, x-rays and blood tests and couldn't find anything wrong and diagnosed it as anxiety. Yeah, I've had moments when I'm really nervous or worried and might have called it anxiety at the time but this was WAY worse. It didn't seem triggered by any thoughts, it just happened whenever I'd try to be sleeping or watching a cartoon. It was explained to me that my BODY is traumatized, not necessarily my mind and it's coping and trying to protect itself by replaying the same horrible symptoms. I did follow up with my doctor's assistant who prescribed me anxiety meds and said the anti-depressants my GI prescribed for my IBS would work fine to start taking daily. She also referred to a therapist and I asked for a doctor's note to take my untrained service dog prospect to school with me as an ESA (the ADA only allows public access to fully trained service dogs and NOT ESAs but my school has an exception to that).

It's probably going to take a while to finally feel fine again, but, I'm glad I'm not dead, I learned A LOT and I'm slowly healing every day, even when I still feel awful. Also, I have a loving supportive family and dogs that take care of and comfort me. And I've never been more thankful this Thanksgiving for them and that I'll get to have a merry Christmas with them too.❤️

...

Side note: the day after ODing, I suddenly felt like I didn't have a cold anymore. I hypothesize because my body was under SO MUCH stress, it flooded itself with white blood cells as a response to being in survival mode which KOed the virus. When I had my kidney stone, I was in such immense pain, my white blood cell count was abnormally high which initially concerned the doctors until they concluded it was probably from the pain and stress my poor body was enduring.

#anxiety #panic attacks #asthma #actually autistic #Good God I'm SO glad I'm doing better!☺️

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deadcactuswalking · 11 days ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26/10/2024 (Bruno Mars & ROSÉ, Gracie Abrams, Morgan Wallen)

For a ninth week straight, Sabrina Carpenter holds onto the #1 on the UK Singles Chart with “Taste”. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

content warning: language, references to sex, violence, mental health (paranoia, suicide, abusive relationships)

Rundown

As always, we start our episode with the notable dropouts, those being tracks exiting the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week, we bid adieu to a fair few songs, it was a bit of a bloodbath even if I can see a lot of these making a return. We say our farewells to “KEEP UP” by Odetari, “Pretty Slowly” by Benson Boone, “You’re Gonna Go Far” by Noah Kahan, “Blame it on the Rain” by Milli Vanilli, “Free” by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding, “Angel of My Dreams” by JADE (more on her later), “Carry You Home” by Alex Warren, “i like the way you kiss me” by Artemas, “Belong Together” by Mark Ambor, “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi and finally, “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay.

Much of the reason for our grand list of dropouts would not just be the amount of newer entries we have this week, which span from viral slow-burn deep cuts to sudden smash hits that missed even my periphery, but it should definitely be noted how many re-entries we have this week, though the circumstances for them are quite unfortunate. Former One Direction member and English singer and media personality in his own right, Liam Payne, has passed at 31, having jumped out of his hotel room in Argentina after what is likely a period of intense substance abuse. Payne had recently been in the news for allegations of his own, and his career had never reached the heights of his boy band fame or even his contemporaries, though this still struck a lot of people, especially on social media where TMZ posted images of his corpse. Classy. Payne’s death is the tragic by-product of an industry, a series of labels and plenty of executives disregarding the likely traumatic outcome of being thrown into pop stardom at a young age. There were so many moments in the careers of the 1D boys where it seemed evident that access points to support just weren’t there, or weren’t taken seriously because of the fact they were a famous boy band – you just cough it up, right? It’s the industry, it’s just “how it is”. Chappell Roan has recently highlighted how terrifying pop music can be as a performer, and with Payne passing, maybe there’ll be a second look towards those who could have gotten to him in the years before his death, and simply refused, restrained themselves on the grounds of their own financial bottom line. Preventive measures need to be in place, and whilst I doubt Liam Payne of all people should be the figurehead of mental health struggles in pop music because of his own problematic history and real lack of career growth, he should be a stark reminder that those you forget about in showbiz don’t just disappear… until they do.

Of course, this show is about the chart itself, and ultimately, another awful reminder of how pop music can put you through the wringer is present in our non-Payne re-entry at #69: “Careless Whisper” by the late George Michael. Recently reissued in celebration of its 40-year anniversary, the classic hit spent three weeks at #1 as Michael’s solo break from Wham! in 1984. Possibly the greatest treasure George Michael brought to the nation was preventing Black Lace’s novelty “Agadoo” from the top spot. Sarah Washington’s dance version reached #45 in 1993, and a UK garage rendition by 2 Play featuring Thomas Jules and Jucxi D took “Careless Whisper” to the top 40 once again in 2004 at #29. Just to date these songs, the #1s were the late Meat Loaf’s “I’ll Do Anything for Love” and Girls Aloud’s “I’ll Stand by You”, respectively. The original recording returned for a few weeks in 2017 following Michael’s passing, reaching #44, and it’s back for presumably one week, though a grimly potent one.

Otherwise, we have Liam Payne and One Direction making their returns: as for his solo hits, “For You”, a duet with Rita Ora from the Fifty Shades Freed soundtrack is back at #43, near his most iconic track, “Strip that Down” featuring Quavo at #41, which I mostly remember for being co-written with Ed Sheeran and sounding like Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me”. It originally peaked at #3 for two weeks in 2017 whilst “Despacito” by Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee featuring Justin Bieber was, unsurprisingly, #1. “For You”, on the other hand, which is – quite scarily – new enough for me to have reviewed on its debut week back in 2018, peaked at #8 for two weeks that year, whilst Drake’s “God’s Plan” held onto #1. Oh, and when I say I would have reviewed it on its debut week, I mean would have. I searched, and this is the second episode ever, that I mistakenly deleted in its entirety and replaced with a note essentially saying “whoops!” soon after. I can’t lie and say I wouldn’t do that today.

As for One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful” – which has spent nearly 80 weeks on the chart and was their debut single after their X Factor appearance – is back at #23. The now-iconic, mostly shit debut made the band parade in on first try to #1 on the UK Singles Chart, even if just for one week, and had appeared on the chart much lower but still regularly until as late as 2014. Our other returns from the boys are more sentimental: “Story of My Life” is back at #9, after peaking at #2 in 2013, blocked by Lily Allen’s cover of “Somewhere Only We Know”. My fun fact about this one is that Alvin and the Chipmunks have a cover that adapts their lyrics to be about their relationship with their owner Dave. Perhaps more importantly, however, it was co-written by all of the band members, a distinction it shares with its fellow ballad “Night Changes”, which resonates with fans partly because it is about accepting change that can come so soon and suddenly over the course of your life. I’m no Directioner by any means, but this is a beautiful, dare I say perfect song that has become their most-streamed just through sheer longevity, despite being far from their biggest smash at the time. It’s a slow burn that has the biggest star Harry on lead in the chorus, and ZAYN and Liam trading the first verse (ZAYN leaving after this single’s release), which really helps propel it – alongside the sentiment – to the top of the charts after Payne’s passing. It had a comparatively brief chart run compared to their other big hits in late 2014 and early 2015, only reaching #7 whilst “Uptown Funk!” was #1. There’s something really special about how when one component of the quintet is lost, the devoted fans, now mostly adults, have taken it just one spot higher to peak at #6 this week. Again, I’m no One Direction fan, I never had a connection with the boys like many would have, but this is the best song in the top 40 right now – a selfish part of me aches for a second run, but it’s unlikely it takes off past this week. It would be a beautiful moment though, for a song that in its chorus, defies that fear of change: even when everything you’ve ever wanted disappears at your wake, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Just look forward.

Oh, yeah, we also have notable gains, and you know, 74 other songs in the region I cover, though I could spend a great deal of time on “Night Changes”. However, we do see healthy boosts for “I Only Smoke When I Drink” by nimino at #57, “Bad Dreams” by Teddy Swims at #25, and that’s… actually it. This week’s top five on the UK Singles Chart starts with “I Love You, I’m Sorry” by Gracie Abrams at #5, then we have a new entry from ROSÉ of BLACKPINK and Bruno Mars at #4 with their duet “APT.” which we will get to discussing later. Then it should be more familiar: “Die with a Smile” by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars (again) at #3, “Sailor Song” by Gigi Perez (who has her follow-up ready for next week) at #2 and of course, “Taste” at the top. So if we know how it tastes at the top, what about the bottom? I won’t say that again, new song review time.

New Entries

#75 – “Oscar Winning Tears.” – RAYE

Produced by Mike Sabath

This is the most recent viral sleeper hit from RAYE’s My 21st Century Blues, an album that had more longevity in moderate hits that backed up the smash of “Escapism.” long after that had left the charts. This serves as the first full song on the album after the introduction, or the overture on the live edition, setting out what seems to be the record’s primary narrative, at least in part, that of the constant manipulation of young women being taken advantage of by a manic and unjust music industry, that reflects upon the wider society enabling it. Whilst there aren’t many specifics – RAYE quickly dismisses his details as irrelevant since he’s just one of many men to have taken advantage of her – the track follows RAYE taking a seat and recognising his emotional outbursts in the ex-relationship as fake and full of lies, hence the name. There’s a cinematic showtune-esque approach to the rap-singing of the verses that ends up dipping in and out unevenly thanks to the mixing, but it still rests nicely into R&B, with a minimal shake-up of drums and piano that kicks its intensity up not through drastic changes but through stray details like a wanky guitar or a rattling hi-hat switch-up, eventually forming a mix that clouds up into nothingness. It doesn’t capture the swell it should, despite generally playing into its melodrama, and hence has the stop-start momentum that may fit its content but stilts its potential. There’s a confidence and empowerment to this track that decays on later, more jaded songs, and whilst it may be a good fit for RAYE, it doesn’t have the same touching vulnerability that bases some of her more powerful cuts in reality and adds a heartfelt backlining. It’s a good introduction, but as a single, it falters in really painting a complete picture.

#61 – “Piece of My Heart” – Wizkid and Brent Faiyaz

Produced by P2J, Dpat, Juice Cuice and Drew80HD

It feels like it’s been a while since we’ve seen either of these acts, but the Nigerian singer who helped propel modern Afrobeats into his current global success has teamed up with one of the most influential newer alt-R&B acts for a new duet fusing their styles. We probably wouldn’t have the hits we do without them, especially this year, so there’s a strangeness to seeing the two debut so low, though of course influence and inspiration don’t always translate chart-wise. What I also wouldn’t have expected was how ambitious this track ended up being, with Faiyaz being the main star in my opinion, as he effortlessly blends different vocal inflections and alterations into a slippery Afrobeats rhythm with uniquely hissy and busy drums, sounding really organic under and over the tropical guitars and sliding keys in that first beat. This is the cleanest Wizkid’s vocal mix has… ever sounded, really, and he frames himself as the sweatier, sexual intimacy to Faiyaz’s loving platitudes that importantly give this woman ownership of some of his heart, but restraining letting her have too much. It plays out in the song as a cheesy “I just won’t have enough for myself” one-liner but speaks to the empty, pitch-shifted promises of the intro and Wizkid sounding desperate in his quieter, stifled delivery once the hypothetical of him potentially hurting her come into play. Of course, you could, fantastically, ignore all of that and jam to how gorgeous this sounds as a piece of music, with an immaculate breeze of a mix forming from what should end up at least slightly too busy and chaotic.

With the beat switch into the chipmunk vocal on its second half, subtitled “Sometimes”, we get not just the other side of that loving character, but a grovelling acknowledgement of their flaws. That simple chorus really does get to the crux of it: “Sometimes, I might be a bad version of me”. Wizkid even attempts to link back and reminisce on the intimacy we heard over the first beat that has been subtly diluted with a shakier, frailer arrangement, to no avail before the tape stops. I’m not used to this level of narrative storytelling from Wizkid, especially not in the context of how seamlessly the production forms around it, and although Faiyaz may be the more significant performer here, it intrigues me more into how an upcoming album could shape up if this is the approach he’s going with. I’m kind of taken aback by this lead single, I am really fascinated to where he goes next, even if it may not chart anytime soon. He may have a new fan on his hands here.

#52 – “Fantasy” – JADE

Produced by Mike Sabath

Jade Thirlwall of Little Mix continues to work for solo success, with this being her third attempt after “Angel of My Dreams” was not overly impressive but a resounding success critically and commercially, though its follow-up failed to really climb up the ladder the same way, with “Fantasy” potentially suffering the same fate given its low debut. Is it worth the potential climb up though? Well, despite sharing the producer, it fails to echo either the immediacy or the core clash at the heart of that solo debut single, and whilst JADE is still bringing much more personality than any of the half-formed Little Mix solo singles recently, this borderline pride anthem feels a bit lost. The glittery disco synths meander until they combine into a flavourless dressing, interrupting with obnoxious woozy stabs any actual bassy impact and momentum those verses embracing kinks and freedom could be. Madonna’s Erotica – an unabashed EDM-pop embracing of queer sexuality – is one of my favourite albums of all time and whilst it can be abrupt, cheesy or indistinct, it always knows where it’s going and refuses to chug along into a full, greatly-produced but ultimately aimless mess of keys and stray ideas. I genuinely do not know why JADE or producer Mike Sabath would allow the lead to be so easily drowned out by the production, which then absorbs a wave of tropical-adjacent nu-disco elements that really overfill the mix, rendering it gross in the way that perhaps wasn’t intended. I’m all for over-the-top campness, but the message is quite literally lost in the breathy performance and playful structure, alongside the feathery soundscape. It feels like it’s taking too many detours – or, never really having the punch or strength to its hooks in the first place – before being able to deliver that confidence, rendering it much less impactful, more like a sugary syrup that resembled some form of liberation or resistance prior to manufacturing. On first listen, I just thought this was okay but it might actually be a more detrimental and unfortunate reading of its subject matter than it has any idea how to grapple with. This could be something, it clearly wants to be, but it fumbles far before the point of that potential being heard, let alone fulfilled.

#50 – “Noid” – Tyler, the Creator

Produced by Tyler, the Creator

It’s that season again – and by that, I could of course mean Halloween and the spooky season but I mostly mean the season in which California rapper Tyler, the Creator, after staying relatively quiet for a year or two, announces a project, a new identity or character to play within the persona of for that record’s promotion – if not the project itself – and within a few weeks, he’ll have dropped a few promotional videos and eventually, a full album, mostly self-produced and with exciting hidden features… that’s on Monday, however. Once again, Tyler has eschewed convention by refusing to release on the crowded Friday and instead delaying his album until the Monday, hence the debut for a mid-week single that feeds into the Halloweeny times by focusing on paranoia.

This album’s protagonist, Saint Chroma of CHROMAKOPIA, constantly feels like, for lack of a phrase that doesn’t paraphrase a seasonal one-hit wonder, somebody’s watching him. The music video depicts visions of violence and fear that may not be real but find themselves justified in the lyrics, stretching this fictional personality back to Tyler’s reality where he can draw parallels in between the home invasions still plaguing the friends he grew up with, to the paparazzi’s focus on his 2023 purchase of a million-dollar mansion, in terms of how that can both eat at you and isolate you. Los Angeles’ celebrity culture and his familiarity with the city leads Chroma, or Tyler, to not feel understood in his conflict, with the sarcastic hook expressing envy for those who can just enjoy the small pleasure of watching, feeling, enjoying the simplicities of life. Tyler, however, feels bombarded by the inhuman: cameras, satellites, screenshots – when screens are pushed in front of you and your extensive purchases are news, that same systemic oppression from living in an unsafe neighbourhood returns in a way that may not put you in immediate danger, but reassures how insignificant and statistical you are in the spotlight, with the beat switch segmenting the two sides of life as much as it branches the two together.

Sonically, I mean, it’s Tyler, it’s lengthy and detailed, finding even more ways to develop his typically fuzzy and complete sound into the specific energy he wishes to operate within for a particular album cycle. Zambian psychedelic rock samples texture the first half, with Tyler displaying his barer, flawed singing voice without the coating IGOR granted it, though the “runnin’” he’s been doing for years in his music and the immense vocal layers from his catalogue but particularly that album remain, with WILLOW and Tyler’s separate multi-tracked choirs constantly attacked by that sample of Paul Ngozi reflecting a similar mania in his own native language – crossing those barriers feels particularly potent for a song that’s really about homes. Hell, Tyler’s mother even appears on the interlude threatening to beat up anyone who messes with her son, whose frail, pitch-shifted vocals that follow her defiant words emphasise how much we owe to our households. I love how the second half extends its intensity on pure tedium with Tyler’s nasal drawling out of the “e” sound in “me” over real, but low-fidelity claps. As for the full release on Monday, I’ll be excited to see how powerfully this hits within that context as something so dense as this can be difficult to sift through as a single, and Tyler has definitely polarised audiences with his leads before a critically adored album to follow, so my ears are peeled. Tyler’s releases always feel like an incredibly well-planned and momentous event, where even if I don’t love the album as much as his last, I can respect the growth, and such a complicated song from such a complicated artist definitely deserves a look from the bigger picture. Hell, that may just be the point of his attitude towards fame since at least CHERRY BOMB in 2015. Nearly a decade later, I’m excited to see how his approach has changed.

#40 – “Love Somebody” – Morgan Wallen

Produced by Joey Moi and Charlie Handsome

US country star Morgan Wallen loves to drop these teaser singles so that those who don’t follow his every move never really know when a full new album is coming… until we see 30 tracks hog up the Hot 100 and we know just what has occurred. Regardless of the bloated albums and honestly being much less interesting each new song I hear, I have liked his songs before so there could be something here to enjoy. Shamefully, there isn’t, as this is about as country as a shirtless guy in a flag-branded cowboy hat going around a city as a novelty cowboy who can barely play “Wonderwall” and puts on a silly accent for foreign tourists. There’s almost a morbid appeal to how blankly Morgan Wallen’s singing and melodies “fit” over the chintzy guitars mixed into a synthy pop rock pastiche even AOR radio programmers in 1987 might see as outside of their remit. Morgan’s lyrics, however, are about finding that honest girl he can take back to the sticks, instead of some opportunist using him for the parties and fame, seeing if he can snatch some of his wealth. I’m not sure yet if when writing this kind of bitter, hapless lament about inauthentic women who leave him to dry once absorbing the parts of him that matter to her… he may just be writing about himself, if he’s even writing it at all. Next.

#19 – “That’s So True” – Gracie Abrams

Produced by Aaron Dessner, Gracie Abrams and Julian Bunetta

Gracie Abrams has recently popped up with the deluxe edition of her breakout record, The Secret of Us, which distantly eyed up a second week at #1, a spot currently taken by Kylie Minogue who unfortunately had no new entries this week. Instead, we have what singer-songwriter Gracie Abrams has left on the cutting room floor which, given my disdain for her overly-sanitised and overthought brand of folk-pop, could honestly be a good thing if I wanted something rawer or more compelling. Unfortunately, even the B-sides grow through the machine, and though Abrams embraces her obnoxious immaturity through the writing, much like the promising “Risk”, this doesn’t have the youthful panic, trading it for a stomp-rock chorus that, much like that Morgan Wallen song, borders on kind of embarrassing, especially when it leads into the most brow-raising description of sex I think I have heard outside of rap on the charts. The acoustic rumble is really not that bad, but it’s so stiff in its programming and even its structure, fixated on repeating that annoying “oo-oo-oo” sound with little variation, and all of the muddy swell it accumulates itself in the bridge with the distorted, irritating drums, ends up all for nought when the song refuses to free itself from the shackles of its claustrophobic percussion and inconclusive chorus. One could argue that this absolutely fits the awkward post-breakup teenage drama… but at least when O-Rod did it, it was fun, there were much more unique details than this sexless column of cliché, and most importantly, Olivia Rodrigo is an actor first, and those dramatics, those stakes are palpable in her performance. This song refuses to expand itself beyond petty bullshit even towards its abrupt end, wasting everyone’s time in the process.

#4 – “APT.” – ROSÉ and Bruno Mars

Produced by Bruno Mars, Cirkut, Omer Fedi and Rogét Chahayed

It seems like the BLACKPINK girls are here to stay as solo acts and whilst so far they have definitely gathered much traction in that first week then filtered off slightly, their quest for western pop success that could really last seems to have been solved… by Bruno Mars. I’m genuinely surprised he’s maintained his career well enough to sell these top 10 duets, and perhaps a relative newcomer like ROSÉ makes a bit less sense for him to play off on, but he’s surrounded by certified pop songwriters and producers here too, so a part of me definitely anticipated for a watered-down personality… which is not at all what we got here. In fact, it’s a bratty rush of teenage lovestruck energy that dismisses anything but the “now” in its buzzy, new-rave brashness, not too far from say, The Ting Tings, in its presentation that could be seen as obnoxious if not for its content, all about a drinking game and that immediate lust to be around someone you love. An incredibly percussive track, it balances Bruno’s breathy ad-libs, with a simple cheerleader chant of a beat ripped straight from Toni Basil’s “Mickey”, itself from “Kitty” but that’s another story, that gradually fuses with the guitar-based melodic elements of the track to form something really euphoric. That pre-chorus is such a sticky melody and the verses are so manically repetitive you almost don’t notice Bruno is singing or rapping some phrases in Korean. It almost functions as a bait-and-switch even, with the K-pop structure naturally having you expect incredibly distinct and disparate parts being separated via abrupt transitions and cloyed together as a “song” by an undeniable chorus. Instead, the third cheerleader chant chorus carries on the swell of the pre-chorus effortlessly into a confrontational bridge pairing a soaring guitar lick with stuttering Bruno blips panning across ROSÉ’s reverb-drenched promises that she’s on her way. It may not actually go anywhere, but it settles for the temporary euphoria, the togetherness, in such a cute and for me, unexpected way that I can’t help but find this frankly adorable. It may sour on me with time but for now, I recommend it and I’d love to see this borderline punk track be the BLACKPINK-derived track that ends up lasting.

Conclusion

Definitely a fascinating and diverse week that gave me way too much to discuss, overwhelmingly so, but not one that led me to a breadth of quality like last time, more just intriguing nuances that opened these songs up a lot. Except Morgan Wallen, of course. Gracie Abrams gets Worst of the Week for “That’s So True”, which shouldn’t be a surprise, maybe I really am getting too old for this, but Mr. Wallen swoops up the Dishonourable Mention just as easily for “Love Somebody”, JADE’s safe this week. As for the best, I am a bit of a fangirl, I apologise, there is going to be an inherent bias, but I do think “Noid” is a brilliant, multi-layered song so Tyler snatches Best of the Week, with a delightfully surprised Honourable Mention towards “Piece of My Heart” by Wizkid and Brent Faiyaz, which is honestly a very similar track in scope, form and even some smaller details like vocal effects; weird coincidence.

As for what’s on the horizon, we may see Halsey and Tyler battle it out on the albums chart alongside Megan, Tears for Fears and Bastille, but how much of that will actually translate to the hit parade is unclear. It may be more worth betting on Lady Gaga’s proper comeback single and whatever “Addison Rae” is up to, but time will tell. For now, thank you for reading, rest in peace to Ka, and I’ll see you next week!

#uk singles chart #pop music #song review #bruno mars #apt #blackpink rosé #gracie abrams #tyler the creator #jade thirlwall #morgan wallen #wizkid #brent faiyaz #love somebody #raye #liam payne

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ntriani · 9 months ago

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OQM Playlist: Life During Quarantine #5

A new 'Life during quarantine' playlist arrives while Nick Triani explains why he feels Nick Drake's music might be the most unknowingly prescient for these times. The easing of restrictions in Finland regarding COVID-19 are on the horizon. It looks likely that children will partially return to school in mid-May. I think everyone is chomping at the bit to break this imposed isolation. Social distancing must continue as must any other preventive measure’s – let’s keep a lid on it. Last week I visited downtown Helsinki for the first time in seven weeks. It was a Wednesday evening, around 5pm. The streets were completely empty. The cinema in Kaisaniemi had all movie posters removed form the window and looked like a derelict space. A post-Apocalyptic stillness permeated downtown. Silence, no cars, barely any people. I was cycling as large flakey snowfall descended, the ash metaphor couldn’t have been more prescient. One obvious outcome of easing these restrictions is the already permanent feeling of COVID-19 paranoia. Any sniffle, headache, any presence of an innocent cough automatically raises the stress levels. Let’s now dial those paranoia levels up to 10.

This week I’ve spent a lot of time listening to Nick Drake. His music and loner persona fit perfectly with these isolating times. A constant companion to Drake’s music was mental illness – rarely talked about – even though his story has the hallmarks of a person who lived under awful circumstances. Watching the rather limited and disappointing documentary on Drake’s life A Skin Too Few – one comment by Drake’s father cut through: that although present in the room it felt like “Nick was never really there.” This stands testament to an artist who cultivated a sense of mystery through illness and disassociation. That elusiveness of Drake only adds to the cult surrounding his music – even though for the artist the pain was real, unaffected and ultimately led to his tragic death. Drake was only 26 years old when he passed.

Drake left us a faultless discography: the three albums released during his lifetime are distinctive, melodic, thematically yearning and wistful. Although pretty much ignored on their release, those records (bar the last album, the solo performed Pink Moon) have the mark of quality through association. Various Fairport Conventionalumni play on those first two albums, Richard Thompson the standout. Danny Thompson, then of Pentangle plays bass. John Cale, recently of the Velvet Underground turns up on the Bryter Layter album, as does former Beach Boysdrummer Mike Kowalski. Who can forget Robert Kirby‘s essential string arrangements or the technical team of Joe Boyd (producer) and John Wood(engineer) pristine contributions. Still, front and foremost is Drake’s dulcet voice and guitar, metronomic in it’s intricate exactness, despite the supporting cast, Drake brings everything into focus.

Although nature is a regular theme so is the vantage point of the outsider and an almost completely slow withdrawal from life. We hear this view repeatedly through Drake’s catalog of music and especially on ‘River Man’, ‘Time Has Told Me’, ‘Poor Boy’, ‘One of These Things First’ and in ravaged clarity on ‘Parasite’. The posthumously released tracks ‘Hanging On A Star’ and ‘Black Eyed Dog’ offer more insight into Drake’s fragile state of mind, though more through a feeling of performance rather than the minimal lyrical intent displayed on those recordings. Having lived with these albums for the best part of 35 years, the overused term timeless doesn’t really do this music justice. I never tire of hearing them, but I’m also struck by a real sense of sadness, not just evoked by the quality of the music but of the sense of self-isolation Drake repeatedly imparts in his songs. In 2020, this really feels like the most essential music of these strange times.

#OQM #life during quarantine #nick drake #nick triani #playlist

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dentalservices · 2 years ago

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3 Tips Everyone Should Know About Preventative Dental Care

Dental care is one of those things that we all seem to take for granted. Most of us barely give it a second thought, even though our teeth are one of the most important parts of our body. But what if something happened to them? What if they needed to be fixed or replaced? In this article, we will provide you with four tips that everyone should know about preventive dental care. From flossing to brushing and more, read on to learn everything you need to stay healthy and mobile mouth!

Tooth Decay: The Basics

Tooth decay is the leading cause of dental problems in children and the second most common cause of death from oral diseases. It’s also one of the most preventable diseases. Here are some basic tips to help keep your teeth healthy:

Brush and floss every day

2. Use fluoride treatments (if you live in an area with water fluoridation)

3. Avoid sugary foods and drinks

Tips for preventing tooth decay

Tooth decay is a huge problem in Australia. Every year, more than half a million people go to the dentist St Clair because of tooth decay. And that’s just in Australia! Worldwide, tooth decay is the most common dental disease, affecting over two billion people. There are a lot of ways you can prevent tooth decay, but here are some of the best tips: 1. Brush your teeth twice a day with fluoride toothpaste and an adequate amount of water for at least two minutes. 2. Eat a balanced diet that includes plenty of fruits and vegetables. 3. Avoid eating sugary drinks and snacks often. 4. Visit your dentist regularly for checkups to make sure your teeth are healthy and free from decay.

Prevention tips for other oral health issues

There are a few preventative dental care measures that everyone should be aware of, regardless of their oral health status. Regularly brushing your teeth and flossing (or using a manual toothbrush) are essential for keeping your teeth clean and healthy. Additionally, avoiding tobacco use and drinking lots of water helps keep your gums healthy as well. If you have any other oral health concerns, be sure to consult with your dentist or dental professional for more advice on how to maintain good oral health.

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whack-a-moron · 1 year ago

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That really, highly depends on what you consider "people stealing basic needs" to be.

Walgreens and similar aren't locking down "basic needs" like in the above video because of a few struggling parents who can't afford toothpaste.

They lock them down because of career thieves who walk into stores with an empty basket, empty every product off the shelf, and walk out to resell it and make $60,000 a month off of stolen goods or use baby food to cut drugs. I've worked loss prevention in stores and dealt with it personally, I've seen the interviews of career criminals who were caught doing exactly what I just described, and its those people who are at fault for the extremity of the above measures.

A problem which has only been exacerbated further since COVID, to the point that people had to be criminalized even for legally buying up all of a store's stock to resell, at the risk of public health and safety. Or, you know, not even resell, but record themselves lighting sanitation supplies on fire on livestreams for clicks and views, mocking everyone who was rightly concerned about the health crisis, while people literally got sick and died. I'd argue behavior like that definitely fits somewhere into the "criminal personality" bubble, regardless of whether they stole said items or bought them. Because a criminal personality isn't all about convictions and prison time, its about willingness to destroy lives just because they can and mock anyone who criticizes them for being a shit human being, thinking of everyone else as "inferior" to them while they leave a (sometimes literal) trail of bodies everywhere they go.

And outside of that, I've family and extended friends thereof who work the legal system on the types of classified criminal cases journalists and the public never get their hands on (crimes against children, murders, etc). The work you do is obviously important for society (*genuine), but its a different ball park.

I agree to some extent that nuance matters in sentencing, but being "soft" on crime is a public hazard with much farther reaching consequences than being inconvenienced to push a button for soap.

People can commit to doing anything, no matter how horrendous, as long as they can justify it in their own minds, which makes it primarily an internal problem, not a problem of environment (speaking in generalities, of course. There are exceptions to the rule, but they are just that: exceptions. Samenow discusses this in his works as well that there is a difference between your average person who does something "bad" and becomes remorseful / abstains from doing so again, vs. the criminal who offends without a second thought towards anything but not getting caught).

Or worse, justify it in other peoples' minds. At least its easy to understand the motive that criminals are out to serve themselves and their egos. Enablers and criminal sympathizers are a far worse menace to society and are much harder to understand, in part because most of them don't enough know that they're enablers, much less why they're enablers. Without them, criminals would never get away with anything.

(no, I will never let go that people outlawed the death penalty because "wow, I didn't know death row inmates ate peas and fried chicken just like me! Clearly this makes them just as deserving of life even though they murdered a bunch of other people!")

Really the only thing reading Samenow's works did for me was define cohesively what I already knew (and no, this isn't your opportunity to slap me with "confirmation bias"). Its not something you're going to change my mind on because, as far as my reality goes, everything Samenow discusses in his books lines up perfectly with everything I've seen throughout life.

Not even on a "criminal" level, but on a general societal level of human behaviorism. Including that there are a lot of people who have suffered greatly in life, and not once have they made it their mission to screw over everyone they come into contact with for their personal benefit, while people with every advantage and opportunity woe and cry about how unfair life is to them while they destroy everyone around them.

You get what you vote for

#all that said and as a self declared asshole #I do actually enjoy a good debate when the other side has more than two brain cells to rub together #Its quite rare on this hellsite #anywhere really but here in particular

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blzzrdstryr · 3 years ago

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Yanderes caring for a sick darling hcs - Mondstadt boys edition

Starring: Albedo, Diluc, Kaeya, Venti

[Mondstadt girls edition]

[Liyue boys edition]

Albedo:

As a renowned alchemist, Albedo is very proficient in all alchemical fields, including bio alchemy.

Subsequently, he is also very knowledgeable in the inner workings of the human body, and understands the biological mechanism behind most illnesses and how to prevent them.

Alchemist takes a lot of preventive measures, keeping you on a healthy diet and having you exercise daily. He also begrudgingly lets you out on the walks, with his supervision and far away from any civilisation of course.

He also has a keen eye for changes in your body and he will realize you caught something before you even sense it.

In that case he'll just slip some medicine into your food and you'll get better even before sickness progresses further.

All in all, Albedo is great at keeping you healthy, as your physical well-being is a very high priority to him.

However, the alchemist can become so consumed by his studies that even you temporarily fade into the background.

It’s a very short window of time, but if you manage to get significantly ill, he will blame himself to Hell and back.

You won’t know of his self-loathing though, as Albedo isn't expressive enough, wearing a facade of calmness even if everything beneath it boils and burns

He will quickly find a cure, and do everything to help you feel better as his mind starts to wander into darker places.

Albedo possesses a wide array of knowledge and he knows various cases when simple colds lead to some awful complications that sometimes have cost lives.

Logically he knows it's highly unlikely that you will get that bad, especially under his care, yet the anxious thought remains, nagging at him.

Your illness will be as stressful to him as it is to you. Alchemist's brain will conjure thousands of unfortunate possibilities that could harm you and cut your life short.

Once you recover, Albedo will sigh in relief and rethink his measures regarding your health - he can't let something like this happen again.

Maybe he should start slipping some prophylactic drugs into your food.

Diluc:

Ragnvindr heir is fiercely protective of you, eager to shield your being from any harm possible, including sickness and injury.

Just like Albedo he also takes preventive measures - diet, exercise, monthly check ups, even very short and very supervised walks on the winery territory.

Diluc is a big worrier, he almost always feels low level anxiety especially if it's something regarding your well-being.

He even thought of buying a manor - Dawn Winery, despite its impressive size, is still too small for an inner garden or a courtyard and with a new estate you could walk among greens and get your dose of fresh air without actually going outside, and the possibility of your escape will be lower too.

Diluc also derives some sort of pleasure from caring to you - it’s an act of both love and ownership to him. He will never admit of the latter though, as his feelings regarding your kidnapping are very confused and conflicted - Ragnvindr lies to himself, saying that it was for your protection only. Admitting that he feels possessive of you is admitting that he yearned not only for your safety.

Despite that, Diluc still has to part with you from time to time - he is a busy man having to juggle winery business, patrol Mondstadt streets as Darknight hero and fight against Fatui and Abyss at the same time. He will entrust you in the hands of Adelinde and a couple of other maids who went through a harsh vetting process, ordering them to keep an eye on your health at all times.

He will be more concerned about your sickness than you are, spending ridiculous amounts of mora on physicians and medicine.

The doctor can diagnose with a simple cold, yet Diluc will ask another for a check up just to be sure - who knows maybe the first one has made a mistake, maybe even the second one also misinterpreted your symptoms. Same goes for the treatments, as he has no faith in them either.

He will fret over you like a worried mother hen, but because of Diluc’s usual awkwardness he will fail at displaying his concern, so you will be stuck with even gloomier Diluc looming over you.

He will spend so much time near you he might catch the illness himself.

Diluc will start thinking about buying a manor more often.

Kaeya:

Kaeya isn’t the best at caretaking.

He won’t even believe you at first, thinking that it may be some kind of ploy to fool him and escape. He would absolutely do that if he was in your situation.

Cavalry captain will give you a knowing look every time you cough, sneeze or complain about soreness and fatigue. Who could’ve known that he would rub off onto you?

He will believe you once you develop more severe symptoms, like fever or unstoppable cough, that leaves you shaking and in tears.

Kaeya will jokingly apologize for his lack of trust, but he will be panicking beneath the mocking smile.

A lot of people have abandoned him in the past, and he will view your ailment as you trying to leave him too by dying.

A rational part of him knows that it’s not true, it’s not your fault that you got sick and death is definitely not a way out for you.

He will also reassess the way he views you - despite being talented at interpersonal communication playing on your heartstring and manipulating you into what he wants Kaeya isn’t the best at understanding himself.

Before he thought little of you - you’re a toy, a scapegoat, a stress relief, nothing that holds any significance and cannot be replaced, yet the prospect of losing you puts the whole situation into new light. In less than a day you are mentally elevated from the mere plaything, to someone important, someone irreplaceable.

He won't change the general way he acts around you though, as he thinks of emotional vulnerability and openness as a major weakness to exploit, still being that teasing and infuriating bastard you came to know him as.

Yet sometimes Kaeya will allow himself small moments - things that usually wouldn’t matter so much - a chaste kiss placed on the top of your head, his hand tracing yours, fingers intertwined together. He will also be a tiny bit more lenient when you misbehave.

Unlike Diluc or Albedo, Kaeya lacks funds or knowledge to treat you right away - he can’t bribe multiple doctors into keeping their mouth shut and his knowledge of biology is surface level at best.

He will still try regardless, giving you the same medicine he buys in the rare times he gets sick.It’s a win or lose situation, as his treatment may both worsen and better your health.

Venti:

Venti is acutely aware of your mortality and fragility, memories of thousands of thousands deaths resurfacing everytime he sees you approaching even the hint of danger.

As a result, he is very protective of you, no matter how carefree and childish he may act, as his teal eyes carefully oversee everything you do.

Nevertheless, the sickness, the ailment - this particular aspect of human vulnerability slips his mind - Barbatos, despite his peaceful demeanor, is someone who lived through a lifetime of turmoil - the overthrow of Decarabian’s despotic rule, earth shattering Archon war, Vennessa’s rebellion against corrupt Lawrences.

He always feared that your life would be ended by the stray arrow or a swift sword, not an illness.

Venti will cure you right away using his powers - with gnosis or not, he is still a mighty deity, even if years of absence left him weakened.

Although you’re perfectly fine and healthy now, the bard will still fret over you, scared of your passing.

Expect to have him hovering and being extra clingy for the next few weeks - archon’s life is long and lonely, full of losses and passing, no wonder that he wants to protect you from the whole world.

#yandere genshin impact x reader #Yandere Diluc x reader #Yandere Kaeya x reader #Yandere Albedo x reader #Yandere Venti x reader #Yandere genshin impact #Yandere diluc #Yandere Kaeya #Yandere Albedo #Yandere venti #Yandere genshin #Yandere genshin x reader #Yandere male #Yandere x reader #Yandere #my writing

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versadies · 3 years ago

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Hello!! Can I request a song fic of that Scaramouche concept you thought of(if that is allowed)?? Sorry if this seems messy, You can ignore this if you want. The song can be any of your choosing, but if it required to choose a song, then the song can be "Alec Benjamin - Let Me Down Slowly". Thanks in advance!!

down slowly (songfic)

penpal: omg i honestly didn’t expect someone to request this 😳😳😳 hope you like this!!

pairing/s: scaramouche x gn!reader (reader knows how to sing)

sypnosis: an au where the reader was the original 6th harbinger and the calm, intelligent scaramouche was their right hand man. a tale of how he becomes the scaramouche we know of after a tragic incident that happened to the reader.

warning/s: death, violence, ooc!scaramouche (he's not going to act like the canon one)

song: let me down slowly by alec benjamin

note: scaramouche's role for you is basically like sara to baal but there's romance between the two of you (your age in here is the same as scaramouche's). take note that anything related to scaramouche’s past here is not canon to the actual lore.

this night is cold in the kingdom i can feel you fade away

it was in inazuma when he met you, beating all the fatui agents thinking that they were going to beat you, a "helpless" person.

your cold eyes was the first thing he laid eyes on when he looks up at you.

"and who you may be?" you asked, staring at the man in disgust as you stand up from the ground and pat your outfit. "you must be bold enough to beat down ten fatui agents in front of a harbinger."

while others would've been peeing their pants at the sight of your presence alone, he stared at you as though you're the most divine thing.

you scoffed at his silence. "can't talk buddy?" you asked, causing him to blink a few times before standing up quickly and bow down. "apologies, i-i thought they were going to-"

"fight me? please, if anything they're going to be the ones getting beaten down by me." you cut him off, glancing at the unconscious agents with a sigh, not noticing how scaramouche felt his mouth twitch upward a bit from your comment.

"though i must say, the way you fought them is impressive- even without using your vision and all." you said blankly, adjusting your hat.

"....i beg your pardon?" he asks, causing you to roll your eyes. "do i have to repeat myself? it's not everyday that you have a harbinger praising your skills."

before scaramouche could say anything, you immediately interrupted again, looking at him as though you thought of an incredible idea.

"say.. why don't you join the fatui?"

from the kitchen to the bathroom sink and your steps keep me awake

the man then found himself being a part of the fatui. if there's one thing that makes the fatui less sufferable for scaramouche: it was you, the 6th harbinger of the fatui, the balladeer.

although he had to go through extreme measures to get to his position as the right-hand man, it was worth it being able to be by your side. even if he has to listen to you yelling and cursing at your subordinates all day, it was worth it.

your reputation among the fatui is truly something scaramouche looks up to, the cunning-intelligent individual who can turn the skies to purple and struck opponents down with lightning. not only were you one of the most intelligent but also one of the most powerful harbingers that teyvat has ever seen.

and no, he doesn't care about the fact that you're the most disliked harbinger. to him, you're his savior and the only person he could spend an eternity with.

besides, you brought him something worth living for.

it was the cold atmosphere he felt when you first praised him as a fatui member.

"how are the recruits while i was away?" you asked, walking around the hallways of the zapolyarny palace with scaramouche following behind, making pace with you. "they've been to their assigned positions and i assigned a few of the subordinates to supervise them."

"good." you then stood in front of the doors of where the tsaritsa resides, fixing yourself before taking a deep breath. "you may start preparing our next mission. i'll be back in my office shortly once i'm done talking to the tsaritsa."

he bows. "understood, my lord/lady."

"i'll see you then, scarmouche. keep up with the good work."

don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste i once was a man with dignity and grace

although he was living the dream of being your right-hand man, he often seen people talking about him behind his back. it doesn't bother him, really, but sometimes it gets irritating whenever one mentions your name for such a pathetic conversation.

however, he would never expect a fatui agent to push him off the cliff in the cold embrace of snezhnaya's winter with no sign of coming back. all of this because of how envy the agent is of you "favoring" scaramouche.

it was a miracle that he survived (with major injuries of course) - though, he was astounded that the fatui agent didn't think of taking him to a higher cliff to instantly kill him.

if only he had a pyro vision to keep him warm.

given the circumstances, scaramouche would most likely die from hypothermia if not blood loss. he didn't think this is how he'd died. he thought he'll die from protecting you, or even from old age. but no, he had to die in a pathetic cold way.

it felt like hours, days even. the pain was killing him slowly as he stares at the sky.

however, when he heard familiar footsteps coming nearby followed by a familiar voice calling out his name, he felt relieved, finally allowing himself to embrace the comfort of slumber.

he heard the sounds of your humming when he woke up.

you stopped humming, watching as he slowly wakes up from his slumber. "oh good, you're awake." you spoke up, a dull expression on your face was plastered. "and here i thought i was going to waste my time waiting for my right-hand man to wake up."

"how... how did i get here?" he asked, voice hoarse. you sigh in response, leaning against the chair more. "i was the one who found you. one of my cicin mages reported me that a stupid agent recklessly boasted about how he left you in the middle of nowhere while being injured and can become the next right-hand man." you answered.

his breath hitches at your response. you decided to go through snezhnaya just to look for him?

if scaramouche wasn't in love back then, he's head-over-heels for you now.

"don't think i actually had to drop my responsibilities for you. the fatui agent killed himself before we could get any information on him, so i let my most trustworthy agents to search for you but didn't find you at all. i had to find you myself instead." you said, as if you read his mind. "besides, you didn't die and you didn't deserve what you went through."

he watched as you stood up from your seat. "i'll be taking my leave given that you look okay." you then snap your fingers, gesturing the nurse behind you to treat him. "take your time in healing. just come back to my office when you're okay enough to work."

before scaramouche could say anything, you already left the room, leaving him alone with the nurse.

although he felt flattered that you went around the nation to look for him, all he could think about was how you must've been disappointed that he's weak enough to be killed by a fatui agent.

now I'm slippin' through the cracks of your cold embrace so please, please

the moment he was released from being hospitalized, he started to focus on being stronger - stronger enough to prevent himself from being pushed off on the cliff by a jealous agent, stronger enough to take down 20 agents in less than 5 minutes, stronger enough to protect you -

stronger enough to become a harbinger.

when you found out of scaramouche's new goal, he was surprised that you started helping him. teaching him how to defend himself without a vision.

"if there's one thing i can teach you about being a harbinger, it's better to have nothing to lose." you said to him one day as the both of you stroll around inazuma. "when being a harbinger, there has to be a lot of consequences that one must face. it's better to face them alone than to see someone you care for suffer because of the consequences you caused."

he felt your cold hand as he brushed his fingers against yours when passing documents to you.

"i see..." he said in understanding.

"kill my curiosity but do you not have someone who you consider as your loved one?" you asked, raising your eyebrow in confusion.

scaramouche pauses from your question. indeed he does not have one other than you- but he knows he couldn't say it's you. why would he? he's aware that you'll never look at him the same way he does to you.

you'll never love him.

"i don't, my lord/lady."

and it hurts to know.

could you find a way to let me down slowly? a little sympathy, I hope you can show me

he wonders what would happen to you and him when he becomes a harbinger.

"oh? you're planning on becoming an official harbinger once we get back?" you asked, looking at scaramouche as though he has two heads. you cackled in amusement and comment, "hah! good luck with that, i'd like to see you try."

you took note of how he's oddly silent. "you're being weird lately, what's gotten into you?" you ask.

"forgive me but may i ask.. what will happen to us when the day comes, my lord/lady?" he asks, hesitant laced in his tone.

you furrowed your eyebrows. "the day when you're a harbinger?" he nods in response, looking away from your gaze with a sigh. "i was wondering if... if we could still be together-"

suddenly he felt your cold fingers cupping his cheeks and turns him around to your direction.

he could taste the sweetness of your lips when you kissed him.

it was a short kiss, but he felt like he's on top of the world. is this a dream? please don't wake him up from this dream.

you then wipe your mouth, chuckling at his astounded reaction. "that," you breathed out. "is what will happen to you and i when you become a harbinger."

he felt his heart beating so fast, watching as you look at one of the most dangerous areas of inazuma. "this shall be your last mission, scaramouche."

if you wanna go then i'll be so lonely if you're leavin', baby, let me down slowly

he thought he finally has what he wanted.

"why?" he breathed out, staring at you with wide eyes as though you did something bad. "why did you do it?"

you shakily look up at him, trying to ignore the overwhelming exhaustion from your body. you overestimated yourself in using your foul legacy but you didn't care, all that was in your thoughts was making sure scaramouche isn't in danger.

you will not let the only person who doesn't hate you die.

"i had to." you said weakly. "go, leave this nation. report to the tsaritsa of my passing and take my position."

he shook his head, kneeling beside you. "i refuse to leave you, my lord/lady."

you chuckle lightly. "idiot. the agents will take my body back to snezhnaya, of course you won't leave me." you then look down at your vision, watching its light flickering.

"take my vision with you too."

he felt a part of his soul disappear as the light of your eyes fades away, leaving nothing but your fatigued corpse on his arms.

from that day, he stopped shedding tears.

let me down, down, let me down, down, let me down let me down, down, let me down, down, let me down

he stares at your.. his vision.

as soon as he was announced as the new 6th harbinger of the fatui, your vision glowed under his palm, showing a familiar color of purple.

was this the electro archon's way of mocking him for what happened?

he grits his teeth. out of all the times he could've earned his vision, it had to be weeks after suffering the things he endured to have this position,

and it had to be in the vision you once used before you pass.

"i'll live on for your legacy, my lord/lady." scaramouche mumbled to himself, staring down at your hat on his desk. not only did the tsaritsa appointed him as the 6th harbinger but she also assigned everything you own as his. your title, your office, your unit, everything you once owned was now his.

it was clear to him that he's no longer the weak scaramouche that always follows the balladeer's footsteps. he's now the vengeful balladeer that yearns for the screams of his victims in inazuma, living in your name.

he’s now devoted to the tsaritsa, unknown to her majesty that it was all an act just because you taught him so.

he treats his subordinates the way you treat them, making everyone being weirded out by how he's so much like you. although he despises the gossip that runs through the organization, he really can’t deny that he does act like you,

he has nothing to lose after all.

if you wanna go then i'll be so lonely if you're leavin', baby, let me down slowly

#SAKK:DHK i hope its clear that this is just an au and none of this is literally accurate from the canon version #take note that there were only 6 harbingers during this story!!#scaramouche hc #scaramouche headcanons #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche genshin #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact scenario #genshin impact x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin #genshin scaramouche #genshin angst #genshin x reader #genshin impact au #genshin impact

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cinebration · 4 years ago

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Give Me Peace (Geralt of Rivia x Reader) [Request]

I always had a vision of the witcher where reader is a siren (alternative, land walking type that can still enthrall ppl with her beauty) and her and Geralt always bump into each other over the years. Ppl are always hunting her since sirens are worth a lot of money so he decides to help her. Geralt refuses to admit his feelings are real for her until he figures out that witchers are immune to siren songs. Basically, lots of angst but a fluffy ending! — Requested by anon

I know this was supposed to have a fluffy ending, but it turned into something else, and I couldn’t bear to change it.

Tagged: @bichibibi

Warnings: death

Gif Source: august-walker

Over the span of five decades, you and Geralt crossed paths more times than he had ever crossed anyone’s, Jaskier and Yennefer included. The hand of destiny seemed to be at work, nudging you both into each other’s path every ten years or so.

It started first by the ocean. You had spent much time there in that first decade, drawn to the sea and your marine cousins, the sirens of the water. You were a siren of the land, beautiful beyond measure but lacking the enchanting voice of your sea cousins. You did not call men to their deaths as they did. Instead, your beauty drove men to madness.

Perhaps you were the more dangerous breed.

For the first few years, your beauty kept you safe, as no man who laid eyes on you and met your gaze was safe from your spell. You could topple kingdoms if you so felt with that kind of power.

But there came men and women who coveted the prize of a slain siren, especially one poisoning the minds and hearts of their very best.

Thus came your first encounter with the witcher, Geralt. Hired by the townsfolk, he sought you out on the shores of the sea, where you sat on the rocks in low tide and gazed out over the choppy waters. Careful to avoid your gaze, he drew near, armed not with his sword but with his wits, ready to be enthralled.

Hearing his step on the sand, you glanced at him and paused, stricken by his rugged beauty. Never had you seen a man whose looks could entice you as you enticed others. Though he averted his eyes, you saw their vivid yellow irises glinting in the setting sun.

“Witcher,” you called, “have you come for me?”

He grunted.

“You would kill me for something I have no power over?”

“You’re driving the town mad.”

“They are driven mad by their own desire. I can’t hide myself.”

“They don’t see it that way.”

“How do you see it?”

He cleared his throat, glanced over his shoulder to see if any of the townsfolk had followed him.

Slipping down off the rock, you approached him. He took a step back, shifting into a defensive stance. You ceased, bare feet digging into the cooling sand.

“If I paid you more than they did to protect me, would you?”

The muscle in his jaw flexed. “Only if you leave.”

With a sigh, you looked back over the ocean. You would miss it, but forests and mountains were your home; to them you would return.

The following decade, Geralt heard news of a beautiful woman bewitching men near Brokilon. At first he thought she belonged to the druids that populated the dangerous forest, but as he heard report after report of men driven to madness, raving of beauty and unearthly eyes, he knew the woman to be a siren.

He knew it had to be you.

The villagers sent him forth to kill you. Traveling through the forest on the outskirts of Brokilon, careful not to trespass, he found a small hut near the road, partially obscured by the trees but by no means invisible.

Through a half-shuttered window, he glimpsed you brushing your hair. In the light from the fire burning within the hearth, he glimpsed the faint lines of sealed gills. He had heard that land sirens had come from the sea centuries before, but nothing had offered so much proof as the vestigial, malformed organs on your neck.

“Witcher,” you called, seeing him through the window, “have you come for me?”

He grunted.

“You would kill me for something I have no power over?”

“The villagers don’t see it that way.”

“What am I to do? I can’t hide myself.”

“You could do a better job.”

“Come into my home, witcher, and warm yourself.”

Shaking his head, he unsheathed his sword.

“If I pay you double what the villagers are paying, will you spare me again?”

He considered for a long moment. You stared at his face, but he refused to meet your gaze. Out of his peripherals, he saw something of your beauty. It was stellar, he would agree, but it stirred nothing more within him than he expected when seeing a beautiful woman.

It almost made him want to meet your enchanting gaze.

Discipline and strength won out, but not entirely.

“Yes,” he answered. “Just leave.”

Sighing, you put out the fire and gathered your things, amounting to nothing more than a small sack over one shoulder.

“Witcher,” you called, “I have been attacked twice now.”

He nearly met your eyes, so sharply did he turn back to you.

“Men shot arrows through my window, tried to set fire to my home.”

“You are a monster to them.”

“So are you, but you are allowed some peace.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Few men think they can kill you. Every man thinks they can kill me. There is peace in the former.”

Shouldering your sack, you struck off down the road, fixing your gaze on the mountains.

Geralt watched you go until even his enhanced vision no longer saw your figure, your words echoing in his mind.

In the third decade, Geralt came upon you by chance. He passed a hunting party made of hardscrabble men practically frothing at the mouth with anticipation. They rained arrows down into the ravine from their position on the mountain face, arrows with fire burning at the ends. Geralt would have walked on if one of them had not cried, “Burn, enchantress!”

Geralt paused to look down into the ravine. A small shack leaned against the wall, situated by a thin stream. You stood in stark relief among the basalt, knocking away the arrows with a poor shield. One arrow caught in your thatch roof, caught fire.

Geralt hauled the nearest archer off his feet, slamming him against the cliff face. The other men spun, glimpsed his white hair and murderous glare. They fled, screaming obscenities in your direction.

“Witcher,” you called, “have you come for me?”

He didn’t answer, unsure how to.

Running into the burning shack, you stumbled out with your bag and watched the rest of your ramshackle home burn. By the time it had been reduced to a pile of ash and cinders, Geralt had made his way down into the ravine. He avoided your gaze but stared at the curve of your neck.

“They grow bolder every year,” you informed him. “See?” Slipping off the shoulder of your tunic, you presented a livid scar not many months old. “They will be the death of me—and I have not driven any of them mad.”

“Sirens have gone up in price.”

“I have no money to pay you, witcher, to spare me.”

He grunted. “I wasn’t hired to kill you. This time.”

“Until next time, then.”

“Wait.”

You obliged, dropping your gaze slightly so he could look on your face. Wary, he only glimpsed it before averting his eyes.

“They’ll keep coming,” he said.

“Yes.”

“What…will you do?”

“Nothing. We all die at the hands of men.”

Geralt felt something strange constrict his chest. “You can go to the Edge of the World.”

“The elves have no love for my kind. We are as dangerous to them as we are to humans. But thank you for the advice.”

Geralt watched you follow the river through the ravine and wondered why he wanted to tell you to stay.

The fourth decade, he was hired yet again—by you. You tracked him for miles, following instructions given to you by a man in the town. No one had been bewitched therein, for you had bound your eyes with cloth, preventing them from being enthralled.

Only as you navigated the unused road did you remove the cloth. After a day of unceasing travel by foot, you approached Geralt’s campsite. Roach whinnied as you drew near, but she did not rear or cry out in alarm. Geralt sprang to his feet.

Having blinded yourself again with the cloth, you stood at the edge of his campsite.

“Witcher,” you called, “I have come for you.”

“Why?”

“I am being pursued.”

“By?”

“A group of armed men. They seek me out especially, not solely because I am a siren, but because I am the siren.”

Looking on your face, he saw weariness and fear lining your features. The tops of your eyebrows were drawn together, indicative of your distress.

“I have no coin,” you told him.

“You have to pay me.”

“I feared as much.” Pulling tight your threadbare coat, you asked, “May I at least share your fire? I have a penny to pay you for some food.”

Geralt hesitated. As much as he wished to help, felt compelled to—a feeling that worried him—he couldn’t help but wonder if it was a trap. A slip of his guard would be all you needed for you to enthrall him and make him do as you wished.

“I will wear the blindfold,” you assured him. “You won’t be afflicted.”

Grunting reluctantly, he tossed you a hank of meat from the spit roasting over the fire. You ate ravenously with less grace than he expected. Only then did he notice how frail you seemed beneath your coat, how few plentiful days you had seen since he last crossed your path.

A surge of feeling coursed through him, one he identified with an urge to protect. Protection wasn’t strictly in his purview, as he was more of an offensive weapon than a defensive one. Yet the urge remained as he watched you warm yourself in front of the fire, eerie with the blindfold covering nearly half your face.

“Have you found your peace?” you asked in the quiet.

“No.”

“A pity. But neither have I.”

“You don’t actually expect to find peace.”

You smiled thinly. “Surely I do. In death.”

Geralt nodded.

“There is a madness in driving men mad,” you said. “I can find no solace among people, and so, living alone in the most terrible of ways—among others—I know what it feels like to be driven mad.”

Geralt watched you as you spoke. The firelight flickered shadows across your beautiful face.

“Few sirens know it themselves. They live free in their youth, reveling in their power. Few make it beyond that. But those that do begin to run, and that marks their end.” You shook your head. “None of us choose this.”

Geralt tried to quell the emotions rising within him. He hadn’t chosen his path either, his life. Destiny had worked hard to bring him here, with all of life’s misery and suffering multiplied tenfold for his status as a witcher. If only the rumors of the elixirs and Grasses were true, that they could make him an emotionless monster.

Instead, he silently suffered beside a land siren who knew suffering intimately.

You disappeared by morning. The band of men pursuing you crossed paths with Geralt a few hours later. Choice words and a rough scuffle sent them back home.

In the fifth decade, Geralt felt drawn to the sea. There was no work there by the ocean, but he drifted there anyway, away from the turmoil of the interior. Two miles away from a fishing port, the beach was unblemished, free of humans.

Only you were there, seated upon a rock at low tide, overlooking the serene waters.

“Witcher,” you called, “have you come for me?”

“I have.”

Geralt mounted the rock beside you, sat down on the rough and slimy surface. You stared out at the horizon, knees held against your chest.

He dutifully avoided your gaze.

“Witcher,” you said, “you shouldn’t fear me.”

He grunted.

“I do not affect your kind.”

Frowning, he glanced up, found himself staring directly into your eyes. They were gorgeous, truly enthralling—but though his heart rate spiked at being exposed to your naked gaze, he felt no different than he had upon arriving at the beach: pained and joyous. He couldn’t believe it.

“See? You are unaffected.”

“I…why didn’t you tell me?”

“What good would it have done? You needed something to fear to still consider me a monster.”

He cleared his throat. “You’re not a monster.”

“Neither are you.”

He wanted to say otherwise, but you were staring at him again. Fighting the feelings in his chest, he reached up and brushed away the hair from your eyes, curling the strands around your ear. The faint gills on your neck revealed themselves.

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against yours. You kissed him back gently. You tasted salty, much to his surprise.

When he pulled back, he discovered it was because of the tears streaming down your face. He brushed them away, but you shook your head, holding his hand.

“Give me peace,” you whispered, “and return me to the sea. I was never meant for the land.”

Geralt avoided the ocean for five decades after, but the salty taste of your kiss never left him.

#Geralt of Rivia x Reader #Geralt of Rivia #Geralt of Rivia imagine #Geralt x Reader #Geralt #Geralt imagine #Witcher imagine #Henry Cavill x Reader #Henry Cavill #Henry Cavill imagine #The Witcher #requests

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obeyme-kaidii-writes · 4 years ago

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Period Comfort

All Brothers x gn!MC

NOTE - obviously this story is about people with uteruses. But it’s still gender neutral because more than just females have them. This is based on my personal experience with my horrible periods. Some people may feel differently and that’s ok too. 👍🏻

Format - Headcanons / Scenarios

Words - 1895

Content warnings - talk of periods, but other than that just lots of fluff and cuddles

Prompt/Inspiration - self-indulgent comfort piece, (aka I’m on my period and feeling grumpy)

Summary - You’re looking forward to your date this weekend with your favorite demon when the unthinkable happens - your period starts. The boys drop by to check on you.

AO3

Scene -

Things had been going so well. The sun (well, the moon) was shining, the birds (crows) were singing (squawking). It was a lovely day in the Devildom. Who cares if you had been a little emotional the past couple of days? You didn’t. You had plans for this weekend with your favorite demon and you were not about to let anything get you down.

That’s when you felt it. It must be my stomach, you thought, so you ignored it. Then you felt it again. Is it a cramp? Nah can’t be a cramp, you argued with yourself.

And then you realized what you were doing - it’s the same thing you do every time your cycle rolls around: you try to convince yourself that your accursed uterus wasn’t deciding to shed it’s lining at the most inconvenient time. And you knew from experience, anytime you had that conversation with yourself that that is exactly what was going on, and only disaster awaited you if you continued to ignore your own intuition.

So you dragged yourself to your bathroom, inserted/applied the period product of choice, and popped a couple ibuprofen as a preventative measure, before crawling into bed. It occurred to you then that you should probably message the other residents of the House of Lamentation to inform them they were not to disturb you for a week or there would be...consequences. But before you could even turn on your DDD, there was a knock on your door and in walked….

Lucifer

You were relieved to see it was Lucifer, you knew he wouldn’t pester you.

He had come to check on you, and remind you of your upcoming date

Was immediately concerned when he saw you glaring out from under your bundle of blankets

He asks if you’re feeling ok, and you explain about your situation

He’s not all that familiar with human anatomy, but this isn’t the first time you basically went into hibernation mode

It occurs to him you’ll probably not be feeling up to your date, so he says you can reschedule when you’re feeling better.

Offers to bring you anything you might need, and promises to keep his brothers away so you can rest

Kisses you on the forehead before leaving, but you pull him back for a real kiss. He smirks at you because he knew that’s how you’d react.

No one else comes to your door for the rest of your cycle (except Lucifer when he brings your meals)

Lucifer had to string Mammon up a few times when he caught him trying to sneak into your room

Mammon

You love your precious idiot to bits, but he’s a little clueless sometimes. Like now when he didn’t immediately realize the death glare you shot him when he came into your room unannounced and started talking to you about your weekend plans

Finally stops to see why you aren’t responding and notices the look you’re giving him from under your blankets. His blood runs cold and he starts to panic internally...did he do something? Did he say something?

You have mercy on the poor boy and call him over, he sits on the bed next to you and holds your free hand while you explain what’s wrong

You tell him that you’ll need to reschedule your date, and he’s a bit disappointed at that, but he reassures you it’s fine

Huge sigh of relief from him when he realizes he didn’t screw anything up. Immediately switches gears to wanting to know what he can do for you.

You let him know you really just want quiet and to sleep, and he asks if he could stay, cue the biggest puppy dog eyes 🥺

You tell him he can, but he has to promise to sit still and not to talk. He swears that he can manage that.

To your great surprise, he does. He distracts himself by browsing Akuzon, and you cuddle up next to him for a nice, cozy nap, with him occasionally pressing kisses to the top of your head

Leviathan

Unlike Mammon, he notices you glaring at him immediately and freezes. He knew he shouldn’t have come. You might have been a couple but of course you wouldn’t want him around all the time, right?

Once you realize it’s Levi, you relax a little and smile at him. He’s still nervous so reach out your hand to him until he comes over.

He stands next to your bed holding your hand while you explain to him what’s going on

He really doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do here. Do you want to be left alone? Should he stay? It’s not contagious is it? You aren’t going to die right?!

You reassure your poor panicking otaku that you aren’t dying, it’s not contagious, and that you really just want to rest.

That’s when he realizes that you probably won’t want to go on the date y’all had planned and he’s really disappointed, he can’t even hide it

You kiss the back of his hand, making him blush, and promise you’ll make it up to him

Feeling a little better, he asks if you want to watch an anime or something with him instead and you agree.

He sits next to you in bed with your head in his lap while you cuddle up to his legs.

He gets so engrossed in the show he doesn’t even notice when you fall asleep until the episode is done. He doesn’t want to wake you, so decides he’s just going to be stuck like that forever and picks out one of his favorites series to binge watch instead.

Satan

He raises an eyebrow at you when he sees the look you’re giving him

He notices the bottle of ibuprofen next to your bed and quickly pieces together what must be going on

He does have a basic understanding of human anatomy, but the nuances like your food cravings and self comfort measures are unknown to him

He catches on pretty fast once you explain it though, he may make a couple odd suggestions that he read about once or twice

You let him know that you won’t be able to go on your date that weekend, and he is only concerned with comforting you

Gives you a sweet kiss to your forehead before asking if you need anything, which he’ll fetch immediately

You ask him if he’ll stay with you, just so you can have him close and of course he agrees. He heads back to his room to grab a couple of books for himself, and one for you too, just in case you feel up to reading.

By the time he returns, you’ve already fallen asleep. He’ll make sure you’re tucked in and comfy, giving you another forehead kiss or two.

Takes a seat in the large lounge chair in your room and quietly reads until it’s time for dinner

Asmodeus

He’s the kinda guy that has been tracking your cycle for you. He just can’t help it.

So when he opens the door, he already has some of your favorite snacks and a heating pad in his arms

You’re really relieved to see him. If there is one thing Asmo knows how to do, it’s pamper you! (Besides his other talents of course)

He makes sure the snacks are within easy reach of your bed, and sets up the heating pad for you so you can cuddle with it when needed

Tells you right away that you don’t need to worry about the date, he’s already had it rescheduled.

Asks you if there is anything he can do for you, and you ask if he can just cuddle with you

He’s happy to agree, and crawls into bed alongside you, with you resting your head on his chest.

If you’re feeling up to it, he’ll even brush and braid/style your hair. But if you don’t feel like being touched he’ll just gently hold you in his arms

While you’re sleeping, he does manage to sneak in a few cute selfies snuggling with you. He’ll send you the best ones...once your period is over and he knows you'll no longer be mad about it 🙃

Beelzebub

He is really confused when he walks in and sees how grumpy you look. It kinda reminds him of how Belphie looks when his naps get interrupted so he doesn’t take it personally.

You smile at him once you realize it’s Beel and not anyone else

He comes and sits on the bed next to you, brushing your hair out of your face so he can get a better look at you

You explain why you aren’t feeling well, and he immediately grows concerned. It takes a lot of convincing to assure him that you’ll be fine in just a few days

Realizes that your date will need to be rescheduled and tells you not to worry about it. He just wants you to feel better soon.

When you mention that you have some favorite foods that you crave during this time of month, he is all too happy to fetch them for you

Like seriously - he gets Beel-sized quantities for you, and you’ll probably get sick of whatever it is by the time your period is over, so be sure to ask him to share otherwise you won’t finish it all in your own

He asks if you feel up to cuddling or if you’d rather be left alone (he really doesn’t want to leave you alone though)

If you agree to cuddles, he’ll wrap you up in his arms, holding you securely. It’ll be so nice and warm and comforting you’ll fall asleep really quickly. He won’t be far behind you either.

Belphegor

Doesn’t hesitate to ask you who peed in your Cheerios

You have to laugh at that, and then explain how you’re feeling and why

He realizes right away you won’t be able to go on your date, but won’t say anything about it unless you bring it up. He doesn’t want you to feel pressured.

He also gets a little nervous at first about your health and safety, so expect to need to explain to him that it’s a normal part of human life

He’s still going to be feeling really protective of you though, and will make sure under no circumstances that his brothers bother you. Beel can come visit because he gives good cuddles, but that’s it.

When you mention that you really just want to sleep, his face lights up. Naps are only his favorite thing in the world to do with you, so he’s happy to be able to comfort you this way

You’ll lay on your side and he’ll spoon you from behind. He’ll even give you his cow pillow to snuggle as he holds you. It smells just like him, which you find very relaxing.

For once, he doesn’t fall asleep until he’s sure you’re asleep. Then he’ll give you plenty of gentle kisses to your neck and shoulders before cuddling up to you and falling asleep himself.

His arms will stay wrapped around you the whole time, making sure you stay warm and comfortable.

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iheartbookbran · 3 years ago

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Ok so actually my biggest problem with the whole “Daenerys will burn KL” theory—not even the Mad Queen Dany theory, which is of course very sexist for obvious reasons, but just like, the idea that Dany will ~accidentally~ ignite the wildfire in the city, burning it all to the ground. That, at first, doesn’t sound that bad, but the longer I think about it the more I hate it because tbh it doesn’t do anything for her character? And also… that fate for her is just down right cruel.

Like, the most frequent argument I see on why this would be at all satisfactory for Dany’s arc is basically that it would be a sort of lesson for her about the dangers of unchecked power and the real threat the Dragons can pose on humans and that she shouldn’t use them to fight against other people. And that’s all well and good, excellent message… except that’s not something Dany’s ever really needed to learn? Not anymore that her fellow rulers, which I will touch on more detail later, but in general Dany has seen what the abuse of power can do. Starting with her conflicting feelings regarding Viserys and how she recognizes that even though he was her brother and she loved him, he also abused his power over her as her older brother, her only family and her king; she feels guilt about the atrocities Drogo committed to the lhazarene and tries to help them; she feels so much guilt about not handling things correctly in Astapor that she decides to throw away all her plans to go to Westeros and instead stays in Meereen.

And about not knowing the true danger that her dragons can pose? I mean, this is the same girl that literally agonizes across several of her ADWD chapters because Drogon killed a child, and then takes the extreme measure of caging Rhaegal and Viserion to prevent that from ever happening again. I think she’s at least a little bit aware that the dragons can be dangerous, thank you very much.

Ok so this got long...

Anyways, the only time Dany legit uses Drogon to harm someone and not just as bluff was at the house of the Undying, where she was being attacked, and in Astapor… and like, lmao, that asshole Kraznys mo Nakloz and the rest of his slaver buddies deserved it. Don’t at me. Also, Dany’s hardly the only one with a big magical and deadly beast at her disposal, why didn’t Robb had to go through some horrifying traumatic incident to learn he shouldn’t use Grey Wind in battle to tear his enemies’ throats. Bran will be learning about the dangers of abusing power, but that’s linked to his magic powers and an actual reprehensible thing he’s doing, not the use of his glorified prehistoric dog to kill, which he’s done, just like Robb. By all means let the narrative hold Dany accountable for her mistakes… but her actual mistakes and not shit she has no control over, because she doesn’t have much control over Drogon or the other dragons even though she’s trying to, and that’s very obvious in her last ADWD chapter where she’s delirious and Drogon could kill her at any moment, and she knows that.

The other big argument people make for Dany burning KL (even if it’s by accident!) is that it will teach her about the price of war, that someone as young as her shouldn’t be leading armies and conquering kingdoms, and that fighting for the Iron Throne is not a worthy cause, and I feel like that misses the actual point of her story by a mile. First of all because a) Dany is hardly the only teenage ruler in the story and b) this is a fantasy medieval story, a lot of the characters shouldn’t be doing the things they do, aaaand yet. Also speaking of other teenage rulers with far more power that they should have—Robb and Jon, being the biggest examples.

Granted, Robb and Jon aren’t exactly successful during their time as rulers, they’re literally betrayed and killed by their own men (even if Jon will technically come back for round 2 of bullshit he’s too tired for). But the moral of their stories is not that they lost because theirs was an unworthy cause and they were stupid kids wholly unprepared for their roles. And I actually partially agree! They are just kids, including Dany, and they shouldn’t be responsible for looking after so many others and going to battle, but their cause is still just and worthy, even with all the mistakes they make along the way. Robb didn’t loose because he was wrong in demanding justice for his family or trying to protect the riverlands from the Lannisters and their minions, he lost because Tywin Lannister was a giant coward who couldn’t take him out in a fair fight.

Likewise, it isn’t wrong of Jon to try to incorporate refugees from beyond the Wall into Westeros. He’s not too stupid and honorable to do politics like his father (how I hate when people insult Jon and Ned like that), and while he did some very obvious mistakes that inevitably ended in a coup and in him dying, this is more connected to his inability to let go of his ties with his family (mainly Arya or who he believes to be her), and in isolating himself from his friends and the people he could actually trust.

I’ve always thought that Dany and Jon share a parallel narrative within the story, so while Jon is struggling with that Dany is faced with similar problems. She cages her dragons, that to her represent the only family she has left, and she tries to compromise with the slavers, marry a man she doesn’t love, pretend she’s ok with reopening the fighting pit. While she tries her best to rule wisely in Meereen, it all comes at the cost of betraying herself and her beliefs, so it’s no surprise when it all crashes around her and she’s betrayed and nearly killed. Ironically, it is Drogon who comes to rescue her.

If they are monsters, so am I.—Daenerys II, ADWD.

This is hands down one of my favorite Dany quotes from the whole series, and I hate that it’s been given such a negative connotation in the fandom, when for me it represents Dany’s humanity and compassion at the fullest.

GRRM has a knack for humanizing the ‘monsters’ of his story, for showing the good in the outcasts and the ugly and the scary. He embraces their ‘otherness’ and makes them the heroes of his stories; Arya, Bran, Brienne, Dany, Tyrion, Jon, Theon and many others are all compared to monsters or beasts at one point or another in the books.

Dany sees herself in her dragons, literal monsters in every sense of the word. Later on she faces Drogon inside the pit, and in that moment you could say that she accepts that ‘monstrous’ part of her, and in doing so she’s saved from her fate of dying at the hands of the men who would crucify innocent children and gleefully profit off of the suffering of their fellow human beings while watching them fight each other to the death for their own amusement. Now tell me who’s the real monster in this situation.

But shortly before that happens, Dany is able to see the humanity in Tyrion, an outcast who has been branded as monstrous and unlovable due to his disability all his life, a man who has come to believe in his abusers’ rhetoric about him so strongly that he’s started to act cruel and detached. She saves his life. She sees value in his life when few others would, because she cares.

I’ve always find it funny that the “dragons plant no trees” is—another—example fans use to argue in favor of Dany’s descent into Darkness™ because the actual scene goes like this:

You are a queen, her bear said. In Westeros.

"It is such a long way," she complained. "I was tired, Jorah. I was weary of war. I wanted to rest, to laugh, to plant trees and see them grow. I am only a young girl."

No. You are the blood of the dragon. The whispering was growing fainter, as if Ser Jorah were falling farther behind. Dragons plant no trees. Remember that. Remember who you are, what you were made to be. Remember your words.—Daenerys X, ADWD.

Now am I the only one who finds it at least a bit relevant that it’s freaking Jorah Mormont aka Jorah the Enslaver whom Dany’s subconscious, at her literal lowest moment, utilizes to represent this particular thought, which btw I’ve always interpreted as Dany’s own self-loathing manifesting in her, and this is something she’s actually always struggled with—the idea that she’s not enough and she’s failing. Because above all things, even Westeros or the Iron Throne, what Dany wants is peace, she wants to plant trees.

When Dany made her descent, Reznak and Skahaz dropped to their knees. "Your Worship shines so brightly, you will blind every man who dares to look upon you," said Reznak. […] This match will save our city, you will see."

"So we pray. I want to plant my olive trees and see them fruit." Does it matter that Hizdahr's kisses do not please me? Peace will please me. Am I a queen or just a woman?—Daenerys VII, ADWD.

But of course the world doesn’t work like that, and so long as there’s Jorahs and Tywins and Eurons out there, men who would take the freedom of humans and submit them to their will, Dany can’t have the luxury of peace, just like Jon can’t have the luxury of belonging and family so long as there’s people still beyond the Wall who need his protection.

And I think that’s fine. It’s fine that Dany failed, it will help her develop as a character and realize that there’s no room to compromise with slavers, the metaphorical monsters of the story who do far more harm than the other more literal ‘monsters’ of the story. So that when she has to face down Euron Greyjoy—who btw, there’s a high chance he will end up stealing one of Dany’s dragons via Victarion using Dragonbinder… y’know, as in enslaving one of her children and using said dragon to inflict god knows what horrors, yet not many people ever consider this for some reason?—she will know. When she has to face down the Others, the magical ice fairies with no regard for human life, she will know.

That’s why I believe that it would make absolutely no sense for Dany to have to go through such a tragic and traumatic experience like burning a whole city even by pure accident, over something that’s either never been a problem with her character or she’s well into her way of learning anyways, so it would just feel repetitive. As I have pointed out, she’s already reached one of the lowest moments of her arc. Not saying there will be no other blows for her, and probably the destruction of KL will be one of them, and knowing Dany she will feel responsibility over it no matter what, but that doesn’t mean she has to be the culprit, intentional or otherwise.

#yes i wrote this whole thing because i actually love the ‘if they are monsters so am i’ quote and i’m trying to push my agenda on others #jk i spend like half a minute in an anti dany blog and i was like. war #but i don’t regret it so #daenerys targaryen #stormborn #pro daenerys #asoiaf #asoiaf meta #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls #meta #my meta

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