#even tho will isn't in it
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for wip wednesday, from my stick season au, mike coming back to hawkins and interacting with karen and nancy
When he pulls into a familiar driveway, in front of a familiar house, thereâs a familiar woman standing in the garage. She visibly lights up when she sees him through the windshield and hurries forward to hover by the hood as he puts the car in park and turns off the engine. Karen Wheeler has always been beautiful, and age has been kind to her. Even now, with grief and exhaustion weighing heavy on her spirit, she looks well put together in jeans and a light green blouse. Her hair is blonde with darker roots growing in, her eyes tired but smiling as she waits to greet him. As he steps out of the car and is swept up into her arms, it strikes him how familiar it all really is, how something in him calms at the smell of the detergent Karen Wheeler has used for decades that invades his nose as he buries his face in her shoulder.
âMichael,â she says, doing her best to enfold all six feet of him into her arms and mostly succeeding. âOh, Iâm so happy to see you.â Drawing back, she studies him closely, shrewd eyes taking in his comfy travel clothes (sweatpants and a different colored sweatshirt; he has no one to impress, and itâs unseasonably cold for October) and clearly finding his physique lacking. âYou look thin,â she accuses. âAnd pale. Do they not have food or sunlight in New York?â
âNot for shut-in hermits who spend all day writing,â he tells her, only half joking. âHey, Mom. How are you holding up?â
Some of the light dims in her eyes and she sighs. âItâs just⌠all so sudden. There were no warning signs. And I⌠I keep expecting to hear him snoring in that blasted chair, and the house is⌠quiet.â A shadow crosses her face, but she shakes her head and it disappears. She forces a smile thatâs mostly genuine. âBut not for long!â she continues, moving to help him carry his bags inside and waving away his loud protests. âRobin and the girls will be here tomorrow.â
Mike waits until theyâve entered the house and continued on into the kitchen to ask the obvious. âWhat about Nancy?â
âHey, loser.â
The voice comes from behind him, from a space heâd assumed was empty, and he startles and clutches his chest like heâs the one with a heart condition. Sheâs seated at the table in the dining room, a confusing mess of papers and an open laptop set up in front of her, and she rises from her chair with a tight smile.
He keeps in semi-regular touch with Nancy, receives Christmas cards annually and occasionally stalks her Instagram, but itâs been years since heâs seen her in person. Her hair is the shortest heâs ever seen it, cut into a sassy bob that sways when she turns her head and accentuates her severe jawline. There are marks at the corners of her eyes, the beginnings of crowâs feet that one only gets from constant joy, and she carries them with grace. The skirt of her dress swishes as she rounds the table, and he meets her halfway, reveling in the many inches he has on her now.
âYou scared the shit out of me!â he complains even as he pulls her into a hug.
When they part, sheâs eyeing him with a look he hasnât seen in years but vividly remembers, that shrewd, calculating expression that earned her the nickname Nancy Drew in school. Like everything else, itâs achingly familiar, and he has to swallow down the urge to slip back into annoying little brother mode and pull her hair or something. Instead, he floats her a smile he hopes comes across as genuine, and says, âItâs really good to see you, Nance.â
She offers him a smile of her own, just the quirk of her lip, but itâs the same way sheâd smile when they were little and heâd done something she actually found cute or sweet. Fond. âYou too, Mike.â Taking a step back, she looks him up and down, in exactly the same way their mom had minutes earlier. âYouâre too thin,â she says, unconsciously parroting her as well, and Mike throws his head back with a groan.
âLetâs give him a chance to rest, honey,â Karen chides lightly from where sheâs - yes - pouring out a cup of coffee. âYou want another cup, Nancy?â
âYou donât have to do that, Mom!â Nancy goes to help and Mike takes the chance to peek at the open laptop. Itâs open on what looks like an email, and he gets as far as reading the subject line - âRegarding the obituary of Ted Wheelerâ - before he decides that he really isnât ready for all that yet, and he moves back to his original position just as Nancy rounds the kitchen island to place two mugs on the table, sliding one carefully closer to Mike before taking her original seat with the other cup.
âSo,â he begins, settling into the chair across from hers and ignoring the ache in his ass from sitting down again. âHowâs Robin? And the girls, of course.â
Nancyâs face lights up with a tired but genuinely happy smile. âRobâs great. Sheâs finishing up some work and then sheâs bringing the girls down tomorrow.â
âCool, cool. And the girls?â
Her expression ripples, like sheâs picked up on his deliberate avoidance of using their names, and something behind her eyes tightens. âTheyâre brilliant,â she says, a slight edge to her voice now. âBeeâs well on her way to sprinting. And Laceyâs in third grade now.â
Lacey and Barbara. Of course. He takes a minute to stir his coffee - milky and sweet, he almost canât believe his mom remembered how he takes it. âWow. Laceyâs, what, seven now?â
âEight.â
âEight, right, shit. Sorry. And Bee isâŚâ
âSheâs sixteen months. Mike. You sent her a card in June. With a Toys R Us gift card.â
He winces. âRight, youâre⌠sorry. Iâve been really spacey lately, this deadline is kicking my ass.â
âYouâve been âspaceyâ the past five years, Mike. You didnât even fly out when Bee was born.â
Mike falters. Thereâs genuine hurt in her voice, something he hadnât expected from Nancy. She knows better than most why he doesnât visit Hawkins. Of course, not visiting Hawkins isnât the same as not visiting Indianapolis. He hasnât seen Lacey since she was three. He called a month after the baby was born to offer his congratulations and sent a check in the mail in lieu of an actual gift. The last time they spoke on the phone - before yesterdayâs call, that is - he was just about to start working on his third novel, which meant closing himself off from the world and writing and spiraling and writing and unraveling until he had a rough draft ready to be sent off for its first edit.
That was five months ago.
âYouâre right. Iâm sorry, itâs justâŚâ
Nancyâs glare softens, and she drops her head to rest on one hand, like itâs too heavy to hold it up by herself. âI understand, Mike. doesnât mean it isnât shitty.â
He nods.Â
#tellthatbrookebitch#wip wednesday#stick season au#technically this is a#byler fic#even tho will isn't in it#but!!! ronance#abrupt ending is abrupt#mike wheeler#karen wheeler#nancy wheeler
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king of rizz⢠đĽ
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer#alastor#vivziepop#vivziepopfanart#radioapple#appleradio#rizz#Luci bagged BOTH Lilith and Eve?!#I'm sure that short king has some game lol#even tho it's a bit lame lmao#but Alastor isn't used to that#That's what he gets for being too nosy lol
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working on early horses, i wanted to do a quick sketch to show how small Eohippus was compared to an extant horse (this one is about 150cm tall). as you can see, it wasn't big at all. a perfect little lap horse :)
#i honestly don't even know how i managed to get this one done#was working on it veeeeery slowly#even tho it isn't even insanely rendered#was kinda hard to finish cuz i'm exhausted but i wanna continue working on early horses... hmm.. series? idk#i might do a size chart with them in the future if i draw enough of them<3#barghestland#art#artists on tumblr#paleoart#horse#equus caballus#eohippus#id in alt
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara
They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them
But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd
The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>
#zutara#zuko#katara#atla#book 2 au#my art#i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! đđđ#so this is how i think it would go#it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls#she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire#she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko#and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj#even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!'#it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers#zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her#little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd#n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her#i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really?#zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful#and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald#in conclusion they are idiots your honor
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I can't cry... I want to cry... I feel so much sorrow...
#Something about having an expression that isn't yours. About feeling trapped. Muted. (How I've felt especially in 2023.#Literally unable to cry despite how utterly sad I felt)#It's also not about guilt. It's about feeling other's grief and being sorrowful for them.#candlebell art#fan art#Sun and Moon#I posted this unrebloggable at first. đ
Sincerely interesting to me how it killed the awareness (not sure what word to use) of it#even tho I said I'd change it later. How it got just 20 notes on it's own. xd
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two mimir.. đ¤˛đźđ¤˛đź
#i'm so fucking unwell about them this isn't fair i don't need more tragic yaoi in my life LET ME LIVE FML#they deserved so much better#fuck the âwho would top who would bottomâ argument bc they're minors we should be asking who would big spoon and little spoon ����#kinda wild how we had a sleepover with yusuke and almost ryuji but not akechi đ¤¨#atlus discriminating between boyfriends i see#not even complaining i still think yusuke should've lived with us i started violently sobbing when he said he was moving back into the dorms#that was so homophobic of the devs i was gonna ask him to share the bed next night đ#ANYWAY#persona 5#p5#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws#its two am on a school night i need to sleep bro đđđđđđđđđđ#no school day after tmr bc the juniors and sophmores are taking the sat tho đźâźď¸
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What If.... Cowboy Yelena?
#I am having the THOUGHTS#yelena belova#What If#What if...?#MCU#marvel#i'm tagging this as#Bishova#even tho kate isn't here cos#we know why Ive drawn this don't we#mine#art#MCU art#Marvel art
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Time traveler: *moves a chair*
The timeline:
Textless version:
#This is a Chell and Stanley switch btw#in case I butchered their characters so much they're unrecognizable#SO FOR SOME FUCKING REASON#EVERYTHING WAS AGAINST ME POSTING THIS TO TUMBLR EVEN THO I MADE IT WEEKS AGO#like it ALWAYS fails to upload until now#portal#portal 2#portal chell#chell#stanley#the stanley parable#the narrator#the narrator stanley parable#GLaDOS#Fanart#ALSO I SWEAR THIS ISN'T AI ART I JUST SUCK AT DRAWING HANDS IGNORE STANLEY'S HAND#My art
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Chuuya's reaction to Dazai getting hurt during the Lovecraft fight has always been so interesting to me...
Because it's the kind of worry you'd never expect from a character as gruff as Chuuya, who had displayed nothing but hostility towards Dazai so far. Usually, characters that are labelled as "angry" or "anger issues" (which Chuuya is much more complex than that but you get my point) act more as a tsundere type of way when the one they "don't care about" gets hurt. And show their care in very, very subtle ways (ex. their eyes widen, their mouth parts and closes again, etc) before putting up their front once more.
Chuuya, however, is open, and vocal about it. His worry is clear not only to us, but to Dazai himself, the one he shouldn't be displaying the concern to (as per the cliche). Shouldn't it be some sort of secret that Chuuya does care? Isn't that what skk's dynamic has been shaping up to be until now?
I'm telling you- the way my mind blanked when Chuuya just casually.... showed concern not once, but twice, was a sight to see.
Besides, the context makes it much more confusing, because Dazai isn't some rookie, and Chuuya knows that more than anybody. He was the youngest executive in Port Mafia's history, of course he can handle a hit or two. Of course he'd seen him handle a hit or two, sometimes without batting an eye.
Heck, Chuuya himself was hurling Dazai like a ragdoll in their reunion, which was their last meeting. And you could argue that he was going easy on him, but Dazai has mostly withstood the same damage (as far as I could see), and Chuuya was as bitter as ever.
So that kind of contradicts both what we knew of Chuuya so far, and how their dynamic was shaped to be. I mean, that just makes Chuuya a hypocrite, yeah? What makes him care now, all of a sudden? What makes him care at all?
Well, to me, this backasswards reaction implies one (or more) of the following:
- Dazai rarely got physically hurt during their partnership and thus this is an unexpected thing for him to see (during a mission).
- The four years of separation made Chuuya unsure of how much Dazai can withstand physically now. Also the fact that he isn't in the mafia anymore, aka fighting enemy organizations on the weekly, would naturally make Dazai lose his touch in a way, what prompts Chuuya's reaction.
- Dazai getting taken off guard took him off guard which led to panic. Especially since the situation was (momentarily) out of their depth. Seriously wtf even was Lovecraft?
- During the dungeon scene Dazai was an enemy, while in the Lovecraft fight he was as an ally. The difference might be significant to Chuuya.
- This has always been Chuuya's reaction to Dazai getting hurt regardless of the situation.
- "Only I can hurt him like that" ahh logic
- Asagiri was still experimenting with their dynamic and thus there are some inconsistencies.
This scenario didn't play out again (after their reunion) for me to exactly determine which one is more plausible, but it is 100% canon for Chuuya to shamelessly show his concern and run to Dazai to check on him before properly dealing with their opponent, which I find to be such an appealing layer to their dynamic, and a good spin on the type of character he gets stereotyped as.
Bonus: Dazai also becomes a softy when Chuuya's hurt, especially post corruption. Dead Apple alone displays that multiple times.
All in all, Skk are doing a terrible job at maintaining their 'hostile' and 'antagonistic' relationship post their reunion. Freaks.
#I was too lazy to scour throgh SB and 15 and find Chuuya getting worried again which might prove the last points#tho I think they're the most unlikely#I love them displaying these sort of things openly#for Chuuya it's just natural to be concerned#it's natural to say 'because I trusted you'#and while Dazai isn't as expressive with his care#he never cowers away from calling Chuuya 'partner' after 4 years#or express that how he saved him was 'beautiful'#these things come so easily for them you wonder why they're even labelled as rivals at all#you *can't* give a clear label on their relationship#friends? they hate each other. Rivals? they care about each other. Partners? they haven't been for 4 years.#each one you put on gets contradicted at one point#and that's the beauty and fun of it#thanks for coming to my TED talk#bsd#bungou stray dogs#chuuya nakahara#dazai osamu#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#skk#soukoku#bsd analysis#bsd headcanon#bsd headcanons#skk analysis#bsd meta#J's post#J's writing âđ˝
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Bill hates it when people mention Euclydia. Everyone thinks it's because he doesn't want to hear his home's real name; it's actually the opposite.
Here, have some fic. The naming of Euclydia (among other things), the birth of the Nightmare Realm, and the Axolotl planting the seeds of a trillion-year-long plan to keep Bill from the death penalty.
This is the đFINAL PARTđ of a 9-part plot about the Axolotl in the aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. If you wanna read the others (or look at the art), here's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, and eight.
####
With the immediate crisis averted and the triangle, for the moment, not attempting to invade and/or demolish the multiverse, most of the god militia pulled back. A group remained stationed near the unstable border between dimensions to watch the triangle; but the less powerful gods could trickle back in to get back to their own work, first and foremost the construction workers doing emergency repairs to reformat and stabilize the neighboring dimensions.
The Axolotlâwho, he suspected, would have been arrested himself for interfering if they weren't still focused on the triangleâwove through the crowd until he found the Time Giant; and then swam angrily up to her and demanded, "You used me as a distraction?"
She turned a stone-hard look on him. "That was the agreement."
"No! The agreement was that I'd try to talk him down! We'd only resort to distracting him if I couldn't get through to him!"
"Ya didn't get through to him." The Time Giant nodded at the Axolotl's burned side. "Look at you. Your leg's off."
He looked down at his missing foreleg. He'd been so distracted by the near end of the multiverse, he'd barely noticed the pain. "It's just a flesh wound," he insisted. "I'm an axolotl, it'll grow back!"
She shook her head.
"I would have gotten through to him! You saw me talk him down after an entire army threatened him!" the Axolotl said. "What if I had succeeded, and when we left my tank he found out you already wrote him off?! You never gave me a chanceâ"
"We did give you a chance," she said testily, "and I saw that you weren't gonna succeed." She hooked a thumb over her belt and tapped a finger on her time tape; the stylized symbol of the Time Giants glowed on the side, an unsubtle reminder that she knew what was coming far better than he did. "So I did my damn job."
So she'd sent him in already knowing that he would fail. The Axolotl was speechless for a second. "Butâyou couldn't knowâI got so close, if I'd had just one more try to talk to him..."
"If I'd let you, I'm sure you woulda kept trying until the end of time," she said. "You seem like a good guy, Axâbut you can't save everyone." She pushed past him to get to work. "There's first aid near where Dimension 2 Gamma was. Get those burns looked at."
"They're fine."
She was wrong. He could save everyone. Because he wouldn't stop until he did.
####
"You're replacing it?" the triangle asked petulantly.
"I'm not talking to you," VENDOR said, turned away from the triangle. "You had your chance at diplomacy and you blew it."Â The crablike cop was holding up a clipboard with some paperwork for VENDOR to review, and didn't look pleased to have been temporarily reduced to a secretary.
"I'm just asking a question!"
"We're not speaking."
At the top of his lungsâwhich was, it turned out, very loud and very shrillâthe triangle said in the direction of the reporters, "Oh wow, that's a crazy thing to say about Lady Morgenstern! And talk about obscene! She'd be furious if she could hear thatâ!"
"Shhhhh!" VENDOR rounded angrily on the triangle. "You don't even know who she is!"
"I know her name and I'm not afraid to use it," the triangle said. "You're really replacing my dimension?"
"If I can be left alone long enough to finish signing the authorization paperwork," VENDOR muttered. "The construction crew's already out here and waiting, so if you don't mind..."
"It just seems pretty tacky, replacing a universe just like that." The triangle spoke like dimension he was talking about was just a pawn to be used in a trivial argument about etiquette, rather than everyone and everything he'd ever known. "No memorial or anything? Yeesh."
"So hold a memorial for it," VENDOR said. "We don't have any choice, we have to repair all the fallen walls to keep reality stable. If you'd let us into your hovel to sweep up what's left of your old dimension, it could have at least been incorporated into the new one."
The triangle half reached for his hat, stopped himself, and curled his hand into a fist and thrust it down at his side. "Over my dead body," he said. "Which I'm pretty sure got incinerated! So that means never!"
"You're pretty sure?" VENDOR asked archly.
"It... I had more important stuff to take care of, okay? I'm a busy guy!"
"I'm sure," VENDOR said. "Well, it's too late for any cleanup operations anyway. Enjoy rotting away in your landfill."
"Wow, that's how you talk to a refugee from the biggest disaster ever?" The triangle laughed. "Hey, bet the muckrakers over there would love to hear how sympathetic you are to theâwhat'd you say I amâthe 'last surviving soul from my dimension'â?"
"Let's find somewhere quieter to work,"Â VENDOR said to the cop.
He looked relieved "You got it."
As VENDOR and THEIR impromptu secretary moved away from Dimension Zero, the triangle shouted after THEM, "Hey! How do I vote for Municipalitron!"
Volcanoes on several of VENDOR's planets erupted. THEY whipped around to face the triangle. "You don't! You aren't in my district!"
"Well, whose district am I in? This Morgenstern creep you keep bringing up?" the triangle asked. "How's voting work, do you toss a ballot across the border and I toss it backâ?"
"You're not in anyone's district! If you were, you'd have been arrested already!"
The triangle stared in dumb shock. "Wait, so I don't get to vote for which of you idiots I have to deal with?" He hollered at VENDOR's retreating back, "That's fascism!"
Fuming, VENDOR passed the Axolotl muttering under THEIR breath about showing the triangle fascism; then stopped, abruptly turned to face him, and snapped, "You."
"You," the Axolotl agreed.
"You're an optimistic fool."
Yes, well, he knew that already. He'd been voted Most Adorably Idealistic in his law school yearbook for a reason. "I don't think I like you, either."
"No one does." THEIR camera whirred irritably as they looked the Axolotl up and down. "What are you doing here, anyway? I assumed you'd been sent to figure out who's liable for this whole messâbut no, you only handle afterlife cases, don't you? Who sent you?"
The Axolotl was silent.
Furiously, VENDOR said, "Are you serious?! We could have avoided half this mess if it weren't for you!"
"If it weren't for me, he'd have knocked down the multiverse before anyone realized he's setting the fires," the Axolotl snapped. "And if you had figured that much out, you'd have gotten your cops killed before anyone realized he's a god."
"The professionals here to handle the situation could have figured it out faster if you weren't derailing their investigations," VENDOR snarled. "And arguing about jurisdiction! We could have arrested that that little troublemaker the moment we figured out just what he's doneâ"
"Right after you arrested that kid with the spray can who didn't have anything to do with this?"
THEY growled in frustration. "Forget it! I hope you're happy with your genocidal pal over thereâyou seem about as concerned with public safety as he is." THEY stormed off, the cop with THEIR paperwork chasing after THEM.
The Axolotl watched VENDOR go; then turned to look ruefully toward Dimension Zero.
When the triangle caught his gaze, he formed a heart with his fingers over his top point and called out, gleefully singsong, "Genocide paaals!"
It wasn't exactly the reaction he'd hoped for.
####
The Axolotl was attempting to distract himself from scratching his itchy leg while it regrew by eavesdropping on the triangle. It seemed like the triangle was entertaining himself by darting around the border of Dimension Zero to start arguments with anybody he happened to recognize (except the Axolotl, whom he seemed to be trying to ignore outside of throwing a few odd quips at him.) At the moment, the triangle and the Time Giant were hollering at each other about her decision to reinforce the second dimensions by making them splinter into multiple timelines.
"So you're really willing to sacrifice zillions of lives by letting me incinerate all their parallel timelines?" The triangle laughed in disbelief. "And everyone here thinks I'm the killer! That's not a good look for you, buddy!"
She glanced up from a table full of paperwork to give him a totally neutral look. "You're the one who's willing to incinerate them. You could not do that."
"When I do it, it's justified."
The Axolotl was distracted from the argument as the storm cloud with the apoc agents gloomily blew past him. It was talking into a walkie-talkie as it went: "Yeah, I know he's a nut. But he's a nut that can't throw fireballs outside the border of his dimension, and I've got to finish this report before we can get outta here." He sighed at whatever the walkie-talkie said in response, and said, "Yeah. We'll rendezvous after I have his testimony." It let its tornado suck the walkie-talkie back in and drifted to the Time Giant. "Mind if I steal your conversation partner for a minute? ATTF business."
She grabbed a binder to try to shield her papers from the worst of the storm's rain. "Please. Take him."
"Thanks." It floated closer to Dimension Zero and raised its voice to bark, "Hey! Magister Mentium!"
The triangle looked over mistrustfully. "What?" As he'd talked to the Time Giant, he'd been playing with the fabric of reality, creating a circle out of raw... stuff. The Axolotl couldn't tell what the stuff was, but it looked like it was some sort of animal tissue, except far too uncannily homogeneous to be natural, disturbing in its uniformity. Like a slice of baloney. When he saw who'd called out to him, he rolled his eye and turned his attention to extruding the circle into a baloney cylinder. "Heeey, Officer Fun Police! Here to rain on my parade again?"
"Rain jokes aren't as funny as you think they are," it said. "No, this is Apocalyptic Threat Task Force business."
The triangle's eye narrowed. "What business? Are you gonna complain about my renovations again?"
"No. If you're not about to knock reality down, I don't care what you do anymore," the cloud said. "It's not my business to punish anybody for previous apocalypses, I just want to prevent future ones. Answer a few questions for our incident report and I'll be out of your life." There was an implicit and you'll be out of mine in its tone.
"All right," the triangle said dubiously. "Fffine. Then we're on the same side. I'm not fond of apocalypses either."
It paused like it wanted to argue with that claim, but said, "Good enough for me." It pulled out the soggy notepad it had been using all day, flipped through it, couldn't find a free page, and with a sigh pulled out a tape recorder instead. "You're from Dimension 2 Delta, right?"
"If you say so," the triangle said, lifting his hands in a shrug. "You guys are the ones who named my dimension."
"Uh-huh." Under its breath, the cloud muttered, "Not exactly a name, but... If you're from 2Î, that makes you the only direct witness to how your universe was destroyed."
The triangle paused. "Mm."
"Can you explain what happened, exactly?" When the triangle didn't respond, the cloud added, "I'm not gonna arrest you for it. If we want to have a chance of stopping something like this from happening in the future, we need to know what happened here."
"Uhhh, yyyeah. Suuure," the triangle said.  It wasn't clear exactly how Dimension Zero rearranged, but the view of the eternal dance party simply vanished. There was no sign of the millions of shapes. The music had fallen near silent, just a constant distant low thumping noise, like your heartbeat in your ears; quiet enough that it couldn't drown out the whispery hiss leaking out of Dimension Zero. "It's not like I have anything to hide." Whatever he was about to say, it seemed like he wanted to hide it from his party prisoners, at least.
A bolt of lightning shot through the storm's recorder, turning it on. "You said you were an active participant in the end of the world, right?"
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" He eyed the recorder suspiciously. "What is this, some trick to try to get a confession out of me?"
"Again, I'm not a cop. And you already confessed in front of a thousand reporters," the storm said. "If you were involved, you've got a different perspective than some guy ten superclusters away who only witnessed it, that's the only reason it matters."
"Oh," the triangle said. "Thenâyeah, I was there for the whole thing. Start to finish."
"Great," the storm said gruffly. "Then could you explain in your own words what happened when the universe ended and, to the best of your knowledge, what caused it."
"Oh. Yeah. Right. The cause," the triangle said. "It... it was aâmonster."
"I thought you said youâ"
"It was a monster," the triangle said, more confidently now.
The cloud hesitated. "All right," it said. "Tell me what happened."
The triangle took a deep breath. "Okay. So. It uhâstarted with the third dimension."
"The monster came from the third dimension?"
"No, we were going to the third dimension. But we neededâ"
The hissing background static exploded into a roar.
The void filled with the staticky screams of countless dead voices, pleading for mercy, pleading for it to stop. Death rattles, howls of agony, wails of terror. Most of the crowd of gods outside Dimension Zero fell silent, turning to stare at the disembodied hysterical shrieks.
One voice, strained with pain, rose above the cacophony, crackling, "Emergency services! We need medical assistance! Ambulances, orâpleaseâI don't know what happenedâit's like everyone's internal organs spontaneously ruptured, there'sâthere's hundreds of people here! Some of them are missing parts of their body, they justâdisappeared! I'm hurt too, I don't know what it isâI can feel it inside meâ"
A second voice replied, "We can't send assistance. Everyone's bleeding, the whole city's dying! We can't help you!"
Whatever the triangle said was lost beneath the roar. He didn't even seem to notice it. His eye was filled with static. The word "blood" was just barely audible. The word "mandibles."
Another voice, trying to sound professional, trying to sound authoritative, but trembling with fear, "This is an emergency announcement! This announcement will not repeat! The fire can transmit over radio waves and sound waves! Turn off all radios and TVs! Turn off all radios and TVs and destroy any wireless phones and pagers! Do NOT listen to the screams! Again, the fire is transmitting over radio waves, this message will not repeat, destroy your radio and warn your neighbors!"
The Axolotl saw images flash in the triangle's eye, too fast for him to mentally process one before another ten had gone by: a plane like infinitely thin glass with tiny delicate shapes painted on its surface shattering in a rolling wave; a bleeding body reduced to shards and then the shards reduced to chips and then chips reduced to dust; fire spitting and crackling into every crack split in existence; a light shaped like a triangle. (Was that the light that had blinded the Oracle's seer?)
Another voice gasping, "It's doing something to the gravity, I-I don't understandâwe don't even have the equipment to read... it's like gravity's turned in a direction that doesn't exist! Does anyone know how to stop it?! Our universe is tearing apâ" and the words were cut off with a scream; and the scream was cut off with a sudden silence that was swallowed whole by the other voices.
The triangle had peeled open, shining golden panels stretching out like petals, his mandibles unhinged and curling around his eye in a ring of teeth, like a blooming carnivorous flower, sun-soaked and mesmerizing. God, he was so bright. He shot light in every direction like an explosion that never ended. Like a star trapped in the moment of supernova.
Another voice, shaking with rage, "Did you hear that, you monster?! I told you we weren't ready yet! Why didn't you listen?! I can see the destruction from hereâthe sky's on fire, everything is burning. How could this happen?! YOU killed them allâ" and the rage cracked, revealing the fear and grief just barely hidden underneath, "Remember us. If you're the only one left, you have to remember us. Pleaseâ"
The static snapped off; the triangle's body snapped back into place; his eye snapped back into focus; "âand then they appointed me their god," he said cheerfully, "and here we are!"
And with only a couple more dying cries of pain and pleas for help, the voices fell back to their constant background whisper.
The storm cloud had started sleeting.
The Axolotl had stopped breathing. Just the sound of the carnage was enough to make him sick.
But the triangle sounded perfectly at easeâmore than he had before he'd answered the cloud's question. "So is that all you needed?" He'd resumed playing with the cylinder of meat he'd been constructingâextruding it further, and then, dissatisfied with the results, collapsing it back into a circle.
His hands were trembling as he messed with the cylinder. There was a tightness around his eye.
"What..." The storm cloud let out a low rumble of thunder, ahem, "what... did you say about blood? I didn't catch it."
The triangle blinked blankly at the storm. "I didn't say anything about blood."
It paused. Â "All right, thenâwhat about the other voices? Who were they?"
"What voices?"
The storm stared at the triangle, baffled sunbeam fixed on him; then swung the sunbeam over to the Axolotl. "You heardâ?"
So his eavesdropping had been noticed. He nodded. Oh, he heard, all right.
The triangle glanced between them. "I think you guys are hearing voices," he said. "The only one talking here is me."
He said it like he meant it. The Axolotl was sure he did. Had he not heard the voices?
"Never mind, forget it," the cloud said uneasily. "You said someone... Who appointed you their god?"
"Uhhh..." the triangle tilted to the side as he tried to think. "Pretty much all my people? Yeah. It was everyone!"
"Your people? From your universe?"
"Yup!"
"They didn't appoint you their god," the cloud said. "They're all dead."
The triangle scoffed. "I don't know what you're talking about. They're all in here with me!"
"You mean the mortals from the other universes?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," the triangle repeated, a little slower, warningly. "They're all from my universe."
For a moment, the cloud just stared at him, at a loss. It glanced again toward the Axolotl. The Axolotl had nothing to offer it.
"Is that everything?" The triangle tried to keep his voice peppy, but there was an edge of exhaustion that hadn't been there earlier. (Yeah, him and everyone else here.)
"I guess that wraps up that part of the questionnaire," the cloud muttered uneasily, trying to recover its professional tone. "Just a couple more questions. I need your name. For the report."
Dimension Zero's hissing background static rose again: "The murderer... The name of the murderer... isâ"
"NOBODY ASKED YOU!" The triangle turned and chucked the cylinder he'd been working on into the Dream Realm. He grumbled under his breath, created another circle, and started stretching it out again.
The triangle could hear the voices. Then why hadn't he been able to hear them earlier? Unless he had been able to hear themâand he just... couldn't remember that he'd heard them?
Even if the Axolotl hadn't known about the incomparable trauma the triangle had survived/caused, it would be pretty obvious by now that something was going terribly wrong inside his head. Contradictory stories about his own reality, memories he refused to remember, facts he simply set aside as not relevant. Was he refusing to face them, or was he unable?
From their conversation in the Axolotl's tank, he thought the triangle understood more than he was willing to admit. But the Axolotl might be the only one who knew that.
And that was beginning to give the Axolotl an idea.
"Justâput me down as the Magister Mentium, okay?" the triangle told the cloud. "Everyone'll know who you're talking about."
"If you say so," said the cloud. "What was your universe's name?"
"Its name?" The triangle glanced up from his new cylinder and gave the cloud a perplexed look. "You asked already. You said it's Dimension 2 Delta."
"That's its serial number. Every dimension's assigned one at its Big Bang. But it's standard to let a dimension's own residents choose its name. It makes it more personal." The cloud sounded as though it had memorized this explanation. The Axolotl wondered how many times it had had to take statements from a destroyed dimension's grieving survivors. He hoped it usually got to give this spiel to witnesses of a narrowly averted apocalypse. "Typically the first explorers to leave their dimension get to name it; but the only person ever known to leave 2Î is... you."
"Oh," he said. "Right."
"So, what did your people name your universe?"
He stared at the storm like it was stupid. "We called it... the universe?"
"Everyone calls their universe The Universe," the cloud said. "Followed by The World, The Dimension, Reality, and Home. They're all taken, come up with something else."
"Seriously? You're making me name my whole universe and now you're telling me how to name it?"
"They're not my rules," the cloud said. "If you don't have a native name, we usually name a dimension after the first known explorer to leave it. Was that you?"
The triangle was quiet for an uncomfortably long moment. His gaze twitched away; and for a moment the Axolotl thought he saw another image flash in his eye: a triangle floating in space, eerily serene, dead. His voice was small when he said, "No."
Surprised lightning quietly flashed in the storm's cloud. "Oh. Do you know the name of the first?"
"Of course I do. He's my..." He stopped himself. He said, too evenly, "His name is Euclid."
Obviously, the triangle wasn't speaking a language that can be spoken with human mouths or written with human symbols. "Euclid" is a stand-in word for an unpronounceable name; trying to say the name without the right anatomyâwithout even the right laws of physics and sound wavesâwould only mangle it.
But the rest of the multiverse didn't have the right physics or anatomy either. "Euclid," the cloud repeated, mangling it. The triangle winced. "Fine. How's Euclydia sound?"
"It sounds stupid," the triangle said.
"Well, it's your dimension. Do you have a better suggestion?"
"I..." The triangle floundered helplessly. "That... Okay hold on, I've had a very long..." He floundered again as he tried to figure exactly what kind of time span he'd been having a long one of.
"If you want me to come back later..." said the cloud, who very obviously did not want to have to come back later.
"I don't knowww, gimme a second," the triangle whined. "I've never thought about a universe having a name! It'sâit's fine. Euclydia's fine."
"If you're sureâ?"
"Of course I'm sure," the triangle snapped. "Euclydia. Yeah. Great. Fine."
"All right." The cloud zapped its tape recorder, turning it off. "Thanks for your time."
As it started to hover off, the triangle said, "Hold on! I answered your questions, you owe me some."
The eye of the storm reluctantly swung back toward the triangle. "What?"
He held up the shape he'd been extruding. "What do you call this... 3D circle thing?"
The sunbeam swept over it. "A cylinder?"
The triangle pointed toward VENDOR, who was out at the edge of the crowd answering the questions of some reporters who'd caught THEM attempting to slink away from the scene. "And what are the 3D circle things Coin Slot over there is hauling around?"
It glanced at VENDOR's stock of planets. "Spheres."
The triangle shook his cylinder. "Well, what am I doing wrong, then!"
"I don't know, math's not my thing," the cloud said. "Try rotating it."
The triangle waited until the cloud had moved on; then created another circle, extruded it again, but curled the extrusion around into a circle. He ended up with a shape like a donut. He said, quietly, "Oo-oo-ooh." He sounded impressed.
The Axolotl swam up alongside the storm cloud as it left. "So. Find out what you wanted to know?"
The cloud laughed ruefully.
That was what he thought. "Are the interviews you've been taking classified?"
"No, our reports are open to the public. Anyone can request copies. The database is a nightmare to navigate, though."
"Let me know who to contact for the records on this incident. Especially the witness testimonies."
"I take it you're also planning to go through that noise we just heard with a fine-tooth comb?"
"That's hardly the start of it."
If the Axolotl had been convinced of anything during all his conversations with the triangle today, it was that the triangle could barely begin to grasp just what it was he'd done to his dimension and all the dimensions around itâand he did a very poor job of communicating what he did grasp.
And if the Axolotl could prove thatâif he could build a convincing argument that the triangle hadn't understood what he'd done, psychologically couldn't understand, that even now he only had the fuzziest comprehension of what he was involved in...
Someday, that triangle's sins would catch up to him. Someday, he would be in the hands of the gods of death and justice, and they would have to decide what fate his actions had earned. And when that day came, it would be the Axolotl's job to ensure that the triangle didn't end up damned or erased from existence.
As it was now, that triangle didn't stand a chance in the multiverse of being found innocent. But there was more than one way to avoid a "guilty" verdict.
By the time the triangle stood before a judge, the Axolotl would make sure that the right laws were in place for him to do what he wanted to do.
####
Where there had been swarms of firefighters earlier, now the scene swarmed with construction workers, working on the emergency genesis of over half a dozen replacement universesâcarefully, so that the big bangs didn't do any further damage to an already unstable situation; but quickly. Already every destroyed one-dimensional universe had been replaced. Several half-burned dimensions had been supplanted with oddly-shaped undersized universes that met at the older universes' burned edges; jagged 1D dimensions sealed the gaps between these dimensions like a line of solder between two panes of stained glass.
By now, the flat planes and edges surrounded the zeroth dimension like the sleek shifting surfaces of an infinity-sided die; all except for one last missing wall in the middle of the damage.
Dimension 2 Delta. "Euclydia."
The construction workers were already setting up the scaffolding and equipment to set off another big bang.
As the Axolotl looked at the copious warning signs around the construction siteâ"DANGER! COSMIC EXPLOSIVES" "GENESIS IN PROGRESS"âthe specialized equipment, the veritable army of workers, the mountain of papers the Time Giant had been reviewing earlier to ensure that everything was up to code and nothing would go wrong... he couldn't help but think of the triangle holding the seed of a big bang in his bare glowing hand, threatening to set it off right there. The Axolotl had known it was foolish, but seeing all the workers' preparations put just how reckless it was into perspective. Like a toddler holding a stick of TNT over a campfire.
He spotted the Time Giant among the workers, flickering back and forth across the scene as she tried to literally be multiple places at the same time. When she settled down for a moment over a worktable to double check a pile of blueprints and forms and calculations and even more paperwork, she caught sight of the Axolotl passing by, and tipped her chin up at him in greeting.
He paused, then nodded back to her. No hard feelings. He was just following his principles; and she was just doing her job. They'd each found their own way to help hold up the multiverse.
"Hey," she called out, and gestured for him to come over. As he did, she said, "Your leg's healing nicely."
He glanced down at it. His new toes were stubby, but at least they were back. "I don't like being uneven." He'd take a few more days on his tail. "I'll probably pay for it tomorrow, though." When he finally got home, he'd have to see if he could cancel his morning appointments.
"Reckon we'll all be feeling this tomorrow." She tilted her head toward Dimension Zero. "I've got a message for the god of DIY over there. I think you're the only one he likesâyou mind carrying it over?"
####
It wasn't hard to find the triangle; he was leaning against the membrane around the zeroth dimension, moodily staring out at the third. He seemed to be gazing past all the gods, unfazed by their hubbub. The Axolotl tried to see what he was looking at, and didn't spot anything of note. As far as he could tell, the triangle might as well just be stargazing.
Along with the police tape and the ATTF barrier and the long-forgotten cordons to hold off the reporters, there was now an additional grid of orange cones set up blocking anyone from getting too close to the destroyed wall and the construction site. The Axolotl glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention before he slipped past the cones and swam up to the triangle.
When he approached, the triangle was muttering under his breath: "Stupid, now it sounds like an STD. I should've named it something cooler. Like... Triangletopia. Or the Party Plane. Or MargaritavilleâI bet no one's ever used that one before..."
"Magister," the Axolotl said.
The triangle's eye snapped to him. "Hey, look at that! The pompous psycho is back! If you're even thinking about sticking me back in your 'office'â"
The Axolotl held up his forelegs appeasingly. "I'm not." He wasn't even crossing the threshold into the triangle's turf. "This is the last time I'll speak to you today."
"Finally, some good news," the triangle grumbled. "What do you wâha! Ah-haha! I caught myself, that one didn't count."
The Axolotl decided not to count it. "The Time Giant wanted you to know they're about to set off the big bang where Dimension 2 Delta used to be. You probably don't want to be too close to the wall when it goes up."
The triangle's expression darkened; but he just said, "All right. Fine. Have fun. Not my problem! Just keep the construction noises down."
That was all he'd been sent to tell the triangle; but he added, "If you ever want to leave your dream realm, this is your last chance."
The triangle groaned. "This again? Listen, frills, I already told you I'm not interested! And you don't have the right to drag me out, this is my sovereign god territoryâ"
"I'm not threatening to," the Axolotl said gently. "I justâwanted to make sure you know. If you change your mind later, you physically won't be able to leave."
That gave the triangle pause. "I... don't see why not."
"For something to pass from one dimension to another, it needs a large enough hole to pass through," the Axolotl said. "For a person carrying the mass and energy of an entire universe to cross from one dimension to another... they need a hole the size of a universe. The missing wall where 2Πwas is the size your universe used to be. And now... it's the only exit big enough for you to pass through. Do you understand?"
The triangle stared at him silently. There was that hard, heavy look in his eye. It was awful to see. He did understand.
"If you don't come now..."
"We came up with a way to fit my entire universe into this one," the triangle said. "If I ever want to leave, we'll invent a way to get it back out."
"Your universe didn't fit in without incinerating it."
The triangle tapped the side of his hat with a finger; somewhere inside it was the speck that used to be his universeâthe seed of a big bang. "It's travel-sized now. The next time will be easier."
For the first time since seeing the awful ruin of Dimension 2 Delta, the Axolotl forced himself to turn his fearful gaze chronologically forward. He squinted toward the hazy, far-flung future; and then he gave the triangle, in the present, a sorrowful look. "No, it won't," he said. "But I'll do what I can for you."
The triangle stared sullenly at him, unmoved by the offer. "I don't see what you're getting out of helping me. Everyone else is dying to send me to ghost jail or however things work around here."
"Isn't it enough to help you just because you exist and that makes you worth it?"
"If you ever, ever say something like that again, I'll kill you. I will find a way."
He wasn't particularly surprised. But that was truly what the Axolotl believedâand believed strongly enough to guide everything else he did.Â
The things this triangle had done were too ghastly for even an ancient, experienced god to fully wrap his head around. Without exaggeration, he might have done the worst thing anyone anywhere in the multiverse had ever done.
But.
But if the Axolotl could prove that he, the worst person ever, was worth giving a second chanceâthat he could change, that he could show remorse for what he'd done, that he could be a force for good in the multiverse... then he would have proven that everyone, no matter what, was worth it.
The Axolotl had been voted Most Adorably Idealistic, but he'd never been called soft. His ideals were harder than diamond and sharper than obsidian. He hadn't decided to protect the triangle in spite of the impact that might have on the multiverse; he was protecting him because of the impact it could have.Â
The Axolotl was a god of justice, of monsters, of second chances, and through his actions he could shape what justice meant throughout the multiverse as if he were sculpting clay; and he thought a small, sharp little equilateral triangle would make a perfect sculpting tool.
"In truth, I just don't believe in punishment. Not even for you." The Axolotl lay a forefoot on Dimension Zero's bubble. "But I don't see why you trust me." Because it was clear the triangle did. He'd trusted the Axolotl to judge the character of the other gods. He'd kept looking toward him like he was trying to gauge his own situation based on the Axolotl's reaction to it. He'd admitted the truth about the remains of his universe and his plans for it. It seemed like the Axolotl was the only one the triangle trusted in all this mess.
The triangle thought that over; then said, "You seem like a grade-A sucker."
He laughed. "I'll try to live up to your opinion of me." He had a guess what kind of people this triangle thought were suckers. The charitable; the caring. The people who didn't think that seeing the worth in everyone was a kind of illness.
"You should know, I intend to legally register my tank as a purgatory. I'll probably submit my application before the end of the week. If you claim it as your afterlife, you'll be transferred to my tank for holding while awaiting trial to decide your final afterlife."
"Ugh, now it all makes sense: you're starting a cult! I don't wanna join your cult, frillsâI've got my own."
"But you do want to go straight to your lawyer's office if you're about to go on trial for your sins," the Axolotl said pointedly. "I don't intend to house anyone in my tank permanently. It will just be a transfer place for clients preparing for trial or figuring out where they want to go nextâanother afterlife, reincarnation... You're already technically dead; you can request at any time to come to my tank, and you'll be there."
"Sounds great for your other clients! But I'm not planning to go on trial and I don't want to be in an afterlife," the triangle said testily. "I'm pretty sure we've been over this!"
"I know you don't. I wish you didn't have to face it. But when you have no choice," the Axolotl said. "When you need it. When your time comes to burn like your peopleâ" (the triangle flinched) "âcall me. I'll offer you a second chance at any time."
"Low blow," the triangle muttered. "Don't put yourself out on my account. I'll be fine by myself."
"I'm sure." The Axolotl suspected he'd be putting himself out on the triangle's account for a long time. "What's your name? Your real name."
The background hiss of cosmic noise roared louder. The echoes of billions of erased ghosts said, "THE NAME OF THE MURDERER ISâ"
With a flinch, the triangle cranked the distant dance music louder so it spilled cacophonously out of Dimension Zero again. It was too late, though. The Axolotl had heard the triangle's real name.
He pretended he hadn't. He waited.
The triangle didn't answer for a long moment. "You probably wouldn't be able to pronounce it."
"Maybe not." He'd seen how the triangle had winced hearing the cloud try to pronounce the name of some other shape. "I still want to know who you are."
He wrestled with his words; then finally gave up and asked his question. "What... is this place? We're not in the third dimension. When Iâfreed my dimension, I expected to go up; but we went... down. I didn't know there was a down." He confessed his ignorance in a near whisper, almost drowned out by his own music.
"You're in Dimension Zero." But that wasn't right. Dimension Zero wasâshould beâa point, and it's impossible to be "in" a point. A point simply is. "You are Dimension Zero."
The triangle said, "Then call me King Zero."
The Axolotl considered that. "Yes," he said. "I think that is your name."
Someone shouted, "Clear the way!"Â One worker at the construction site was looking directly at the Axolotl. "That means you! Unless you wanna be boiled frog legs!"
"I'm not a frog," the Axolotl muttered; but, he turned one last time to newly-crowned King Zero, said, "Call me," then hastily swam to the safe side of the orange cone barricade.
"Five, four, three..."
The Axolotl watched the triangleâand the triangle watched himâuntil the detonation. The big bang went off in a flash of light bright enough it would have incinerated anyone in the vicinity had it not been contained to a flat plane.
When the Axolotl looked away from the light, the afterimage of a triangle was burned into the center of his vision.
Dimension Zero was sealed off from the rest of realityâlocking its king in for the next trillion years.
####
When the triangle said his name was "King Zero," of course, he wasn't speaking English. English wouldn't exist for a long time. The name King Zero is simply a convenient translation.
The English word "zero" comes from the French zĂŠro. ZĂŠro comes from Italian zefiro. Zefiro comes from Medieval Latin zephirum. And zephirum comes from the Arabic ŘľŮŮŮŘąâᚣifr.
####
Centuries ago, in the dream of a naive, trusting human, the human asked in Arabic, "What should I call you?" And King Zero responded, "Call me ᚢifr."
And years later, a dreaming human asked in Medieval Latin, "What should I call you, o muse of mathematics?" And of the two Latin words descended from his current Arabic nickname, ᚢifr responded with the one he thought was closer: "Call me Cifra."
A dreaming human asked in Old French, "What's your name?" And he replied, "My name's Cyffre."
Speaking Middle English, he told a dreaming human, "My name's Siphre."
And in Modern English, he told Edward Bishop Bishop, "The name's Cipher. But you can call me Bill."
In a year's time, and two years before his death from sleep deprivation, Edward would write Flatworld, a book about a 2D shape and his Muse journeying up to the highest dimensions; and also all the way down, below the spaces and planes and lines, to the self-absorbed King Zero, buried in the point-sized zeroth dimension, who thought a whole universe was contained inside him.
####
(It's FINISHED. đđđ
Hi y'all, if you just joined us for this Axolotl plot arc, usually this is a post-canon human Bill fic. I took a break from the main plot for one week to post a one-chapter flashback and then it was nine chapters. This bitch is 50k words. It's a novel unto itself.
Anyway if you only showed up for this story about the Ax, it only exists in service of a much longer story; so if you enjoyed this check out the rest of the fic. This is technically chapter 69 (lol). (If human Bill isn't usually your thing, I've been told that this is The Human Bill Fic For People Who Don't Like Human Bills because Bill is clearly very much a triangle unhappily trapped in a human body, rather than just chill with being humanâso you might wanna give it a shot.)
And for the regulars who are already reading the whole fic: OH MY GOD IT'S FINALLY FINISHED, WE'RE FREE, WE CAN RETURN TO THE PRESENT. Listen I love the Ax and his bizarre but unbending morality, but guys. Guys. I miss Mabel so much.
Pre-warning that I may end up needing to skip a chapter or two before the end of the year, because work's piling a LOTTA extra work on me this month and I might just flat out not have time to edit & do art. I'm up at 3 a.m. editing & queueing this post and I was up til 3 a.m. another night doing the art because I HAVE NOT HAD TIME this week to do it any earlier. I did this because I love y'all.
No that's a lie, I did this because I want to FINISH this DANG ARC. That's my birthday gift to me.
Anyway lemme know what y'all think!! đ)
#bill cipher#euclydia#(for the art & the chapter)#the axolotl#gravity falls axolotl#(for the chapter even tho he isn't in the art lmao)#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher#(I'm queueing this at 3:30 am and i'm so tired i almost hit 'post' instead of scheduling it lmfao)#(It's done it's done it's finally done)
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Ren more like rent free in my head!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#14dwy ren#haha what if i made charms of them. what if- w-#the grip this game has on my brain isn't even funny anymore đ its so good tho play it đ
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late morning
#fairy tail#nalu#lucy heartfilia#natsu dragneel#killamonart#could've held back just a lil... lol#tho don't think he really has self restraint like that#mf always doing as he please LOL#also is this a controversial thing to say but like i think that mashima lowkey ships gray and lucy just a bit...#bc of the amount of times he got them paired off and he's taking care of her-- AND I KNOW IT COULD BE JUST HIM BEING A FRIEND#but his actions at times are so... strangely intimate...#even tho he got that whole thing w juvia but sometimes i just think he ended up w her bc.......... she's there#ALSKDFJASL THAT'S A CONTROVERSIAL STATEMENT ISN'T IT...#but like WHY WAS GRAY CHECKING THE INSIDE OF LUCY'S MOUTH WHILE HOLDING HER CHIN LIKE THAT--#you gonna see him do that shit w erza?? no way LOL#anyway ya i'm watching the 100 year quest rn#always catching her when she falls or you see him also shield her...#then again this is also just me enjoying the drama of it all so don't mind me#this aint about him!! this is a nalu post! LMFAOOO#art#fanart#natsu#lucy
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Okay but it's super interesting how
Din = Power = Ganondorf
Naryu = Wisdom = Zelda
Farore = Courage = Link.
Because Din, in the hylian creation myth, created the physical world. Naryu then created the laws - gravity, time, etc. And Farore finally created life - plants and people.
Din created the body, naryu the mind, Farore the soul.
And the triforce and its wielders so perfectly reflect that.
Ganon is physical power, he is big and intimidating and he breaks things. He is cunning and determined, but that's not what he focuses on. He is might makes right.
Zelda is wisdom and cleverness. She is stall tactics and information and team work. She is a powerful mage with a spine of steel, but that's not how she'll win. She is the pen being mightier than the sword.
Link is courage and persistence. He is the wild card sneaking behind enemy ranks, always moving, plunging into terrifying situations head first. He's a phenomenal fighter with a keen wit, but that's not what will get him through his challenges. He is bravery not being the absence of fear but the triumph over it.
They sit in perfect parallels to each other.
And ganon is reborn through his body - his resurrection is immortality. No matter how low he is cast, as long as he has a body he can claw his way back. He can cling to his power, build it ever higher.
Zelda is reborn through the magic of her bloodline. It's the accumulated knowledge handed down for generations, the unique power she must master, the skills she must develop to survive and get her kingdom out the other side intact. Even her name, the knowledge of herself, is handed down from all the way from the very first. Her ancestors knowledge of her future presence, her stability, is what gives her the edge.
Link is reborn in spirit. He is not bound by flesh or blood. Just like his wanderlust soul he can reappear in any time or place. His variation, his unpredictability, is exactly how he fights. It's what makes him so hard to pin down.
Ganons need to build strength means he can't chase after link. Links impulsiveness means zelda can outwit him. Zeldas stationary predictability means she's an easy target for ganon.
But the other direction?
Fire melts ice, ice redirects lightning, lightning burns fire.
And that's the very essence of the triforce.
#It's little details spread across the games like this that just makes it work so WELL it's SO COOL#They're all great at all parts of the triforce but they CHOOSE to focus on the path most meaningful to them#And that's literally reflected in their unique cycles of reincarnation isn't that just AMAZING#And that's why the team up is so important! If they were all working against each other they'd be locked spinning their wheels#If zelda and ganon teamed up link would immediately die and if link and ganon teamed up zelda would instantly perish#It's the link zelda team up that means ganon is the one who kicks it#Also the elemental thing was cool but they do jump around a bit. Like wind is there half the time#In botk the gerudo have lightning and the goron have fire. Farosh still has lightning tho and dinraal fire#In ss lanaryu was the lightning and faron had water like its all over the place thematically. And that's when it's only 3!#Don't even get me started on the 5/7 lots notankyu#But that's the most common group and it's also thematically accurate#Fire being the only one able to self perpetuate with fuel. Can be banked up again. Ice compresses with time but needs the right environment#Lightning go boom đ you can feel the static in the air but you don't know when/where it'll strike and then it's all over#Like fr it's hilarious zelda and ganon are playing the long game and link runs past eats all the pieces and while ganons yelling after him#Zelda checkmates his king. And nobody can prove she wasn't cheating because nobody was looking lmao#Ah the duality of metaphors#ANYWAY isn't that so neat???#Reason no.372 why rhoam was a terrible king he didn't just screw up he did it â¨thematicallyâ¨#If link had been allowed to run off and get dirty and if zelda was allowed to study her interest (like post kingdom fall FOR EXAMPLE)#They'd have won (like aoc) but nooooooo. I've already made a post (or 3) about it lmao I'll be quiet now#loz#legend of zelda#botw#triforce#loz link#the legend of zelda#zelda#loz botw#ganondorf#loz ganon
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love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
#writeblr#warm up#ps edited so it is more clear where âhalfâ of men is coming from:#15% literally don't even touch water#an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP#15+35 =50%#like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap#btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water''#which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes#ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild#i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me#but no they're just confidently wrong.....#182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6#that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week.#ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho#this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded#in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair#or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS.#men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies#i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health.#this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become.#like they don't try to hide it anymore.
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and âdarlingâ is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about âdollâ and âdarlingâ pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc âwell he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everythingâ#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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