#even tho theres really smth wrong

[cheemken]

Oh man thank you for the Drayton angst HHH my heart goes out for him. Like from what I've seen, a lot of people just take his slacker / laziness at face value but from the bits of dialogue, you have room to imagine there's more to this kid.

Hassel advising him to avoid desperately trying to live up to the expectations of others. Drayton being strong enough that Geeta, the Champion of another region was considering in scouting him. He wouldn't have become the BB League Champion without a lot of effort put into it, not in a battle oriented academy. If he was a slacker from the beginning, realistically he wouldn't have made his way to the ranks until he beat the reigning Champion.

There's just a lot of inconsistencies with how Drayton presents himself vs how others view him. Various NPCs expressed their distaste of Drayton but most of them are consistent in saying that his one seemingly good trait is that he's a strong Trainer. It's hard to picture a talented kid like him repeating three years without some kind of cause.

My personal headcanon is that Drayton has that kind of negative perception from the students because of how he acted. One of the strongest Trainers in the academy, coming from a respected family and yet repeated multiple years? Not putting in effort? It feels like a slap to the face of those who worked hard to get where they are. Why is this guy still here if he's not going to try?

Perhaps it's the realization that he can never measure up to his talented family. Drayden being a respected Gym Leader, Iris being the actual Champion of the region--how can he compete? What can he say to those that often compare him with them? Especially during his teenage years, it's not difficult to picture that at some point, he simply gave up. Didn't bother trying for something that might just be a waste of effort in the end.

I have other thoughts I'll share in a different ask as this one has gotten rambly as it is haha

Oughghfhfhfhf your honour this is so fucking real hcnxbxn

Cause being from a family like that and being constantly compared to them would fuck up a mfer man I can vouch for that, and it's just chdmdb it's the fact y'know that there really is that awkward air in his conversations w Hassle and Geeta, like talking abt his family is a sore spot for him but he just hides it well enough that people would just think oh bc he's lazy he doesn't want the responsibilities his family has going on too, especially w how well known his family was in Unova and possibly to Dragon Specialists from other regions, given how Drayden even knows Hassle

It didn't help his sis is the Champion too, it's worse when they compare him to her

And it all leads down to the thought y'know, that he really made an effort when he was younger, but still couldn't live up to the standards of his family, that being a trainer and a strong battler is all he is, and w how Dragon Masters are, I know it takes more than strength to truly be one; especially w how the Blackthorn elder treated Clair too, I imagine it's a similar situation w Drayton. He's a strong trainer, Champion level, but he's just lacking something; that something is now a thing he'd rather not try to find out, cause in his mind even if he did, it'll never be enough, he'd still fall short, so why bother anymore right? His family can have all the titles and recognition that they want, he'd just be there vibing w his friends, least they don't compare him to his family much

[toytulini]

thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.

[seongminiz]

do u wanna talk about prof jiwoong more?👉🏻👈🏻 i was thinking about thigh riding with him… if he sits u on his lap while he’s doing work or smth in his office and makes u get off on his thigh😖😖😖 calling u all kinds of nasty names and mocking u for how u struggle to climax, making such a mess all over his beige trousers.. the wet spot so obvious🤭🤭

- 🧁 anon

yesss omg jiwoong making u ride his thigh ☆_☆

you've been acting a little too bratty for his liking lately , being wayyy too touchy with matthew right in front of him to make him jealous (tbh , it just turns jiwoong on more bc it reminds him that even if matt is ur boyfriend , you'll always end up going back to him 💔) , so when u step into his office expecting one of ur normal hook ups he just .. looks at u with such a disappointed look u genuinely feel ur heart drop . like yea whatever sex with jiwoong is great but u cant deny theres a part of u that seeks out validation from him . u r about to ask him whats wrong , but he simply pats his thigh n u immediately know where this is going . before straddling his thigh u reach for ur underwear to take it off , but jiwoong stops u bc its so much more humiliating for u to cum fully clothed n he knows it :')

the rest of ur time is spent desperately trying to get off on jiwoong's thigh while he works , acting like u r not even there even when u get to a point where you're crying n begging him to help u cum . the only moment jiwoong actually pays attention to u is when u slow down or stop , slapping ur thigh to prompt u to start moving again :3

when u do eventually cum , its such an unsatisfying orgasm u genuinely just want to go home n deal with it on ur own (maybe ask matthew to finish the job ? eheh) , but when u go to stand up jiwoong grips ur waist n holds u in place , making u sit uncomfortably in ur own cum for a while 💔

when he does finish working he'll make it up to u tho , sitting u on his desk n eating u out until u cum properly („• ᴗ •„) but maybe ur still pissed at him , maybe u have learned nothing n this need for revenge has only fueled ur brattiness , n maybe that brings u to matthews place instead of urs , in his bed as hes fucking u so good its really just an accident when u somehow end up calling jiwoong n letting him hear exactly what hes missing out on :3

(kinda went crazy at the end oops)

[princeanxious]

To be fair, I think it's more of a situation of like, fics and aus that have them set in any other scenario outside of sanders sides where they are portrayed as their own characters, wherein remus and Roman are still portrayed as blood-related/adopted siblings/brothers/twins, the whole concept of incest/"twincest" then more accurately applies. And that is primarily what is taboo, especially when it comes to the specific combination of twin characters and fandom, from what i understand? There's likely more to it but that's my general understanding?

Now that I’m mostly out of the sanders sides fandom can I just ask what was up with the whole people saying you can’t ship Roman and Remus thing like what on earth was the difference between that and every other ship if they’re literally all the same guy

[enden-k]

sry if i babble sm abt private life/work its bc i lit dont do anything else rn (having a life ew) but theres just this new guy at work who rubs me the wrong way??

i feel like hes looking down on me bc im pretty genderneutral looking(???) ig and kind of petite and very young looking and stuff so i feel like hes judging and mistreating me a lot bc of that (im pretty sure im actually older than him so idk why he treats me weird). also bc i follow orders and have my own systems i keep strictly to unlike him who kind of just messes up our system and schedules bc hes so overeager he does other stuff instead of finishing his work first

anwwww fun fact is that im pretty buff actually and you cant really see it unless i take off my oversized shirts AHAHA so i get misjudged A LOT and i could tell he was doing that too and treated me weird, like im too good to do heavy or dirty work

so bet how satisfied i felt when i was lifting and carrying shit today thrice the weight and speed he did even tho hes like. twice my size and broader. so basically i did the heavy work of two bc he just kind of gave up when he couldnt keep up anymore and started doing smth else (again) and he also shut his mouth (thank god) when i didnt respond anymore bc he prob could tell he was bothering me. rlly hope he changes his weird ass tone now when talking to me jfc

[sophaeros]

I think I'm hf in the exact same thing as you rn I just found your blog I am also obsessed with band rpf and Casablanca's/hammond jr do u have a kind of manifesto or anything I can read

dude did one of my irls send this or smth..i was literally Just talking about putting together a masterdoc and they were egging me on BSJFJWBS. i mean i'm kinda working on one but no promises bc im terrible w long term projects and also theyre very difficult to figure out

BUT i Will say (and i've seen other random people online agree w me) i think the general timeline is that during the seven years they lived together from 1998 to 2005 jules was down bad for albert but albert didn't realise his own feelings, so the most that might've happened is some fooling around physically. (this is mainly going off of this page from the meet me in the bathroom book where jules says "albert, you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, baby!" insane quote. i could talk a little more about their full quotes but that's another post)

sometime between 2005 and 2013 (possibly 2011 tbh, comedown machine is The gay situationship album but angles touches on it a lot too) they dated twice and broke up both times. im not sure who broke up w who but tentatively i would say the first breakup was more acrimonious while the second breakup might've been mutual.

it's difficult to say anything for sure because most of their songs have songwriting credits shared with other people, so looking at lyrics for clues has a pretty big margin of error since a line might've been written by someone else and not them, yknow? i mean rpf is never a "for sure" kind of deal i could be entirely wrong and that would be fine but. you get what i mean

also one way trigger is the lynchpin for me. i physically cannot imagine a platonic explanation for this poster that uses a screenshot from thelma and louise of all films. not to mention the lyrics like even my Mom raised an eyebrow at "get dressed in your bed while she's asleep." and also it's one of two strokes songs albert has ever played solo with the other being elephant song (at least according to setlistfm, im still trying to find a video of it) (edit 12/08/2034: setlistfm lied to me he did not play elephant song 💔💔💔💔) which was written, surprise surprise, by albert and julian in 1999.

i mean i guess the poster could be them fucking around and having a little laugh but come on what an insane ass joke to make man. i'm gonna make a post later about one way trigger being their specialest little song because it really is

soo like..theres still more i could talk about like one way trigger being written by the albert julian nick trio (which makes me laugh imagining nick mediating their lovers quarrel) [EDIT: ACTUALLY WAIT NO ok it's hard to find definitive information on who wrote what bc different databases have information of varying precision but the canadian site socan which is the most precise so far says only albert and jules wrote the lyrics for one way trigger i'd misremembered. albert julian nick trio Did do call it fate tho which is still kinda crazy !! also jules and albert being the only ones to do one way trigger makes me crazier jesus christ why is this depressing ass song Their Song !!!!] which is the same trio as games from angles. theres a lot i've been thinking about them nonstop for like, what, a month? give or take? my poor friends have to deal w me sending dozens of messages at a time much love and light to them if they read this muah

and thank you for the excuse to be insane on main anon 🥰

[shrimp-dumpling]

twst oc

yes it is i, i have decided i wanted to make a twisted wonderland oc

Here is the beautiful boy in all his colorless glory (i got lazy and if u think the hair looks strange i changed brushes when drawing the hair and got too tired to make it bolder it 😭😭)

And here is his uhh idk reference sheet ig? Not rly but ehh

character: Jol seemed like the quiet type, and that was... not really true? It wasn't wrong, yet it wasn't right either. Actually, he had quite a lot of friends (whom he considers as only acquaintances, with this statement usually false for the other party) and was rather friendly despite his lack of ever smiling. He's a good listener, a good friend too. He tries his best, though often times he would always undervalue his own efforts, an unreliable narrator of his own story.

Name: Jol Ninvale (pronounced Jol Nin-veil)

Dorm: savanaclaw

Class: 3-D, second year

Birthday: July 1st (7/1)

Age: 18

Height: 176 cm (5'9") with his ears (doubt that adds much but i'll just put it there anyway lmao) and without his rollerskates

Dominant hand: right

Homeland: shaftlands

Fav subject: visual arts

Best subject: track & field and potions

Club: gargoyle research society

Hobby: watching the world pass him by, roller skating, gaming

Likes: games especially virtual ones, roller skating, food, bells, etc..

Dislikes: the yellow part of a boiled egg, pain, watching his friends in pain, group projects, pears

Habit: going into places where he probably shouldn't be in because of his Unique Magic and not realizing it

Talent: skating and having really good balance

Flaw: exchanged strength for speed so he's not that strong, doesn't look friendly, undervalues himself

Unique magic: Reawakening reality

Allows him to fast travel to somewhere. It is not teleportation, but with untrained eyes it does look like it

Chant and visual: His ability is called "reawakening past" and his chant would be like smth like "fall through the current past, don't lose yourself in the endless future. Reawakening reality." And when he activates it time would slow and he would fall through the floor like this

So the red line is the floor and when he activates his unique magic it would sorta different dimension under idk how to explain it but under there is like a purple grey version of the world upstairs but theres nothing and its like a sea ig

The blue line represents that he can still see the above and can see where he's going

Its basically fast travel yk bc the space time there is a lot faster

Also he can drag others with him into the "dimension" but he cant keep them there for long bc they cant breathe in there, only he can

time speeds up unusually down there so for the people who got dragged with him they see a faint image of the world downstairs but then they're at their location, its like teleportation and they just run out of breath a little

Oh yeah i chose fast travel instead of actual teleportation bc thats just cooler and makes more sense than just popping in and out of existence without any explanation

And i chose fast travel cuz the oc's a cheetah beastmen and cheetah's are known for being speeeeedddyyyyyy

So yeah :3

further elaboration:

The red is the floor and the blue is the part of the floor that would let him fall through like theres nothing there even tho he can see still that the floor's there

So if he was like in an animation it wouldn't be him changing but it would the background, like idk its those pov changing roblox games yk pls get it 😭😭😭

Anyways i also made a meme about his UM in a nutshell

Beautiful 🥰

Funfact: he has a bell on his foot

jingle jingle

Special mention from the Colorless art: he's so cute right guys

another funfact: his wheels are retractable

[anarchist-aquarius]

my au doesn't really make sense but its fun

so basically my au takes place a little bit after the battle of hackham heath. Halt has became an official ranger for a while, but soon Duncan gets a letter telling him that the old king of Hibernia is dead, and he is invited to Ferris's coronation. Duncan decides to bring Halt, because of Halt being Hibernian. When Halt hears the news, he knows that he cant leave Ferris to destroy Hibernia/make it weak, and goes with Duncan. Ferris becomes king, but on his first day he dismisses half of the garrison at the castle.Halt knows he has to step in and tells Duncan that Halt is the king by right. Duncan helps Halt expose Ferris, and even though Halt didn't want to, Hibernians dont like being lied to. Ferris was hung and Halt became king. Duncan went back to Araluen and told Crowley what happened, and told Crowley that if Gilan still wanted to be a ranger, then be his mentor. Halt becomes king and after stabilizing the kingdom, he begins to look for Caitlyn. When he finds the village she was in, she had a son named Sean. Caitlyn decides to go back with Halt, and he trains her as a ranger so she van protect herself. He begins training many of the archers into Rangers, and eventually, he has about 100 rangers in his kingdom, including Caitlyn and Sean. After about 5 years of Halt being king, he is invited to a peace summit in Araluen, because they were making a treaty with the Skandians, who had began traveling further and further into the kingdoms to raid. Theres sone Halt abd Crowley fluff, Crowley meets Caitlyn, etc. and they make a treaty, and Halt decides to pronounce Caitlyn the queen of Hibernia. Caitlyn becomes queen with Sean as her heir, and Halt moves back to Araluen and rejoins the Ranger Corps. He apprentices Will Treaty and the rest is basically the same, minus the kings of clonmel.

My au is weird but i like it so um yeah

Tell me if i did smth wrong tho 💀

[loving-n0t-heyting]

Smth i was repeatedly told in media and obnoxious discourse that took a long time to register as anything more than a (perhaps understandable) hallucination begotten of jealousy is that a lot of androphiloc women have a manifest powerful sexual/romantic attraction to assholes who will treat them shitty. And to the extent this is true i think it basically sucks for everyone involved. Obviously it sucks for the women who keep dating jerks, and theres been many electrons spilt over how it affects the men who get passed over. But it also doesn't really seem that great for the assholes who keep pulling women/girls with bizarre dating preferences? Not even just in a high-minded "better to be wronged than to wrong" sense either. My general impression of this type of guy is that they tend to be black holes of frustration and resentment and boundless personal entitlement whose lives are not appreciably bettered by being partnered and instead just augment their feedback cycle of immiserating ill will by sucking others into it as fuel

Possibly i am telling pat stories and overgeneralising from far too small a sample tho

[cod-thoughts]

Ghost for the character ask !! (or Alejandro if Ghost was asked already 👉​👈​)

waaaa thank you for the ask omg (i say scared you're in my inbox /lh)

Neither has been asked yet so ill do both i guess lol (this got very long so im adding a read more, i ramble when im bored whoops)

favourite thing about them

ooo this is hard actually but i think the way ghost just is exactly who he is. As traumatised and as gruff as that man is he just kind of does what he wants for himself. The mask, the gloves, the behaviour, its all just for him. no one else benefit and idk i think theres something to be said about that.

least favourite thing about them

hmmm i dont know. This is more of a fandom nitpick than about ghost but a lot of people i think picture him with a certain body and my gym rat ass self is just there like??? theres no shot he has abs hello?? (is this a personal bias? maybe but shhh) I also do wish we got more of his backstory in the reboots or really any backstory at all.

favourite line

OOO this is hard, part of me wants to pick a dad joke but the first one that came to mind is when Soap is introducing them to ale and rudy and Ghost just goes. "Tha'll do." dont know why. but it is pfft.

brOTP

everyone. Ghost is actually just friendly but standoffish to me. I think he'd make friends easy once they get over the fact that its him. Yes he's a loner but that doesnt mean he's lonely.

OTP

this is so hard oooof. GhostPrice is just so incredible i love their dynamic so much but also Ghoap although the most obvious one is kind of hard to deny hmmm. I will say tho NikPriceGhost is an OT3 ive been toying around with and lets just say i LOVE the potential there. (not so secretly think Ghost is a poly king and is actually able to navigate it well)

nOTP

Ghost with any woman im sorry that is a gay man (to me at least)

random headcanon

He has a really really big sweet tooth that he doesnt tell anyone about. (been thinking about this for ghostprice week hehehe)

unpopular opinion

hmmm i guess i said a few while answering the others lmao

song i associate with them

cirice - ghost. Not because the band name but the lyrics are just so ghost. And freak on a leash - korn for the same reasons OH and undertow - tool

favorite picture of them

i just love his eyes holy shit, brown eyes ghost > blue eyed ghost

favourite thing about them

hes just so loyal. Something about that unwavering loyalty is so cool to see even when he's wrong about something he's just loyal to a fault. good or bad its an interesting thing

least favourite thing about them

i cant think of anything, we dont get to see enough of him for me to think of something

favourite line

and who the fuck do you think you are, cabrón. My men are inside!

brOTP

him and ghost. i think they understand each other in a way thats unexpected but welcomed by both.

OTP

alerudy, like come on. To me not only are they together, i think they're each others first everything kind of relationship, theyve been together longer than theyve been without the other, i think thats the only reason for how they act like the other being there is a given without it being implied to be romantic and instead a deep friendship.

nOTP

him and valeria. i get it as exes or smth but i just dont see it in their interactions sorry 0_0

random headcanon

I think he's secretly a musician or a music nerd. Any kind of music at all, he'll try to learn any instrument he can get his hands on and its not uncommon for him to be singing in his office as he does paperwork.

unpopular opinion

i dont think i have any?

song i associate with them

this is actually really hard so im gonna pick artists as vibes or like his favourites: Haken, karnivool, queens of the stone age, the gulls and the marías for when he wants smth soft (i also think him and rudy dance to ale singing something from any of these artists)

favourite picture of them

widows peak my beloved

[residentmara]

a little context for smth, the Astral Express Crew is this train of ppl, not really many ppl keep that in mind (ha, mind), that travels on the path of The Hunt, but the path they travel on isn't important, but they are following in the path of this Aeon (basically like, gods in the game but they're also not gods ?) who had died (I personally believe that the Aeon of The Trailblaze, the one they're following the path of didn't die, because there is nobody who knows how they died, it's unknown if it was at the hands of another Aeon even tho thats a popular theory in game, or if it was killed by a human or what) and they're just following in that guy's path and stopping at worlds when they can't pass, usually bc of a stellaron (cancer of all worlds) on the planets, and they help those planets and continue on their path

Mind (March and Dan Heng)

Mind would be March because of more like her backstory, she was found floating through space in a block of six-phased ice (I believe it was that or it was some 'eternal ice' but I am p sure it was six-phased) which Welt spent ages to get her out of, and I did get my facts a little wrong when I was being autism in dms earlier, her name is March 7th because that's the day the Astral Express Crew (which at the time I believe consisted of Himeko, Welt, and pom-pom (? for Pom-pom)) freed her from the ice, and she didn't even know who she was, so they took to calling her March 7th since that was the date, she canonically puts out this happy, bubbly, personality to cover up this like anxiety and sadness I believe is what Himeko says when you ask about March, but she puts on that personality and smile to cover up those feelings

and Dan Heng because he's smart.. and he also has things in his past that he's running from, he's generally a mysterious kinda guy (HELP IM REACHING DISCORD LIMIT ALR,, THE PRICE OF TYPING THIS ORIGINALL ON DISCORD WTF) theres not many lore rooted reasons that I'm saying Dan Heng for, though he does live in the file room (I think it was called.. words aren't wording but it is like 8:34 at night) and keeps things nice and filed n stuff for the express, he knows a lot about it, he also joined it because he was running from people from his past life / past (I say past life because even though he normally looks human, he's from this dragon looking species I can't spell the name of for the life of me who goes through this rebirth process) and he refuses to really talk to anyone about it, and if you in game ask Himeko about him she doesn't give you much information

Heart (Kafka)

I won't go deep into lore because I don't think we know much of Kafka's lore or she doesn't have too much to go into ig, but Kafka is one of these Stellaron hunters who's goal (you'll never guess it) is to get stellarons, Kafka can appear as this nice person but really she's kinda violent and slightly manipulative (though it is kind of for the 'greater good' in some sense depending on where your morals lie when it comes to lore of the entire game) also she uses a gun canonically when you use her ultimate.. enough proof there /silly

Soul as Himeko or the Trailblazer

tbh I'd mainly say Himeko, we don't really know too much about Himeko, only what you can get from asking Welt, but she found the express when she was a kid blah blah that's not imporant to why Soul would be her, she was there from the start, she knows like everything about everyone on the express, at least all there really is to know, she's the real owner of it, but she is generally who keeps things kinda calm on the express, she's who you trust (which when you put hms as pathos, logos, and ethos, we know who is what, Heart is Pathos, Mind is Logos, and Soul would be Ethos, and if you were to characterize Himeko as one of those, she'd be Ethos because you know you can trust her) + she has red hair

I'd say Soul as the Trailblazer (the Main Character) because that is also the only character you can be 100% sure of in the whole story, also I can kind of draw a connection from the Stellaron that is inside of the Trailblazer (they are generally supposed to just be a storage for it, we don't know why yet because that lore isn't rlly out yet) to the void seen on Soul in like the videos, they both have something that can like 'take over' them in some sense

and Whole as Welt

Welt is someone who also knows a lot about people on the express (not as much as Himeko though) but he generally is like this character that is like the 'dad' of the express, at least in my eyes (that I totally have shh I'm not a Heart fictive what) this is smth you can argue that Welt would be Soul for but he is in and out of the Astral Express this like peace keeper, there is a lot more of lore to Welt because he is a reoccuring in like another Honkai game (I think there is only one other ? but if not he's in the two others, but I cannot remember how mant there is) and I remember seeing something about a comic, but basically if you were to put a face on the express it'd probably be Welt or Himeko, Himeko because she is the actual owner but Welt because he is this powerful figure that has this cohesive story if any of my reasoning for Whole as Welt makes sense

Boom autism explosion pt 2, now I’m very sleeby so goodnight !! -💕

this is unironically the direct reason i got into honkai: star rail

[toytulini]

starting the day off Wrong with. nerds gummy clusters for breakfast,

[gardens-of-may]

ENTRY TWO - chap. 23 to chap. 50

spoilers ahead

AAAAAAAAAAA

that was me singing opera

you wish you heard it

also i can’t stop talking in a british accent because guess is on repeat 

good lord jennifer 

😐😐😐

this book is getting BORING

caves are amazing 😑

WHY IS THERE A CHILD

is the child okay????

eughhhhhhb

fuck you child 

ugh him

I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THERES A CHILD

oop he’s fAcToTuM 

i’m sorry this book is getting more boring by the second 

*an hour later*

the boy’s a liar the boys a liar he doesn’t see ya he’s not think about blahhhh

idk

i’m also currently falling asleep rn so 😗

CHILD LABOR

I DESPISE CHILD LABOR

I HAVE CERTAIN TOPICS IM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT 

AND VHILD LABOR IS ONE OF THEM

*days later* (i wasn’t lying when i said this book is boring)

okay good consent!!!

oop he knows

i thought i was smart for knowing the french

i didn’t know bonne chance meant good luck 😑

it’s like avery is nonexistent and i HATE it

because in the main trilogy, his presence was very shown

but i keep forgetting that avery’s even here because of this shitty narration 

oh hi gray

oh my god grayson in shorts would actually scar me

oh my god

that’s evil

and she’s such a saint 

i forgot that we’re dealing with his dad

oops

technically avery didn’t kill him

so what’s so bad about putting the evidence of what he did against avery out?

i love xander i miss him sm

bonjour!

sisters 

hehehe 🤭 

that’s true tho

sav and gray are very similar 

gray also likes to deny his feelings tho

same bro 😜

nash is the best 

ily him sm 

suspicious 

oh no

was gray told abt the devils mercy thing?

i don’t really know what whom is 

LYRA

AHAHAGAHHAHS

ISVTHAT LYRA

IM GONNA SCREAM

STOP

MY ABAY

IVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HER SINCE I HEARD OF HER AND THIS IS THE FURST TIME I MET HER

OMG

ASSHOLE 😍😍

IT IS LYRA

IM LIT DYING

NEW CRUSH

she’s so funny

that’s one way to deal with mental health 

get a lyra!

no not shorts 😭

ughhhh

i love gigi

lemonade? too sweet?

oh shit

i js realized i can only imagine gray with a british accent 

the aaron warner effect

grayson davenport hawthorne

i find it hilarious that it’s in autocorrect 

“I am so sorry that Avery girl took all of your money,” one of the others said seriously.

“And chose your brother,” another one added.

“And broke your heart!”

“But not your spirit.” The bravest of the girls reached out and laid a hand on his arm”

HAHAHAHA 

stop it’s like a fanclub

what has gotten into me?

😟😟😟

she isn’t a bitch 

her future is probably brighter than your fucking phone screens

oh yeah i forgot

gigi doesn’t know who he is

GIGI NO

GOOD LORD NO

no he is not your boyfriend or anything like that 

GIGI STOP

GIGI UGHHHH

THAT IMPLICATION ISBT 

SAVANNAH IS NIT A BITCH

gigi what cleavage?

gray’s reaction tho

NASH 😍😍

i’m in the rural rn

an ode to nash 

cupcake a palooza? 

ohhhh

WHAT

tallllll

as a 5’5 girl anything above 6’ is tall

seems ugly 

NOOOOO

FUCKING BITCH

UGHHHHHH

THAT BACKSTABBING BITCH

ARGHHHHH

USNT SHE RICH NOW?

a flashback? NOW???

TREE HOUSE YAY 

how tall was jamie at ten?

that’s so mean

yeah what about nash ?

he’s amazing 

okay gray might be perfect and xander can think outside the box but jamie is good at taking and measuring risks 

is that a skill? i don’t know 

js triggering pain and insecurities atp

wait they’re supposed to lose

ohhhh

okay so the point of the flashback is to show why he’s doing what he’s doing

wait what did he do?

ZELLA IS THE PROPRIETOR 

I BET

BET

mr. hawthorne js has a aura that is 

you know

i js read smth kinda sad and it lowk ruined the vibe 

ANYWAY

oh

i had hoped the proprietor was zella

ALREADY KNOW WHAT YOU GOT GOING ON DOWN THERE

sorry 🙂

THE HELL JAMIE

i forgot avery and jameson weren’t married 

i don’t know why i thought they were

GODDAMN JAMIE

oh shut the fuck up

this feels so wrong

WHAT

WHAT DO YOU MEAN 

brother?

ARGHHHHH

UGH

not this

where’s nash then?

AUGGHBBBBBB

EVE THAT FUCKING BITCH

what does that bitch want? 

a boyfriend? not even once she’s six feet under

WHY ARE YOU SYCH A CREEP???

“my existence?”

your existence pains everyone 

AHHHHH

i love gigi

oh shit

😳

anywayyyyyyy

LYRAAAAAAA

oh my god

hmmm

THATS SLATER???

BITCH IS UGLY AS FUCK

i love gigi 🥰

“prone to eyebrow arching, very fond of imperative sentences, blond and broody.”

how cute?

NO IT JUST GOT GOOD

WHAT TGE HELL JAMIE

WHAT HS WRING WITH YOU

i’m gonna kill you 

“oN tHe cOnTrArY-” shut the fuck up

ugh 

that’s terrifying 

i hate him

awwww i love avery tho

I HATE YOU 

WHAT

I THOUGHT THAT IT WENT 

nash > gray > jamie > xander

i think im used to leo

“privileged, prep school boy”

ughhhh

HE WON

i didn’t think he would

oh shitttttt

😣😣😣😣

i’m not describing this

good lord jameson

risk?

OM MY GSIF

oh yeah

his brothers are gonna kill him 😀

why would you purposefully do this to yourself?

that’s cute rohan, but i don’t think so

heheh 🤭 

bitch

what did you do in prague jameson? what?

no you did not 

MMMM-

oh nooooo

AGHGHBBBVBVVVVVVBHHH

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN PRAGUE???

gigi no

ajaksjjw he’s your brother you cannot date him 😭

that weirded me out even typing it

GIGI SYOP

HAHAHAHA

SAV AND GRAY NO

your imaginary girlfriend okay

(it’s me guys)

limes

our forever is limes

mhm

not like that

huh (i took a break if you couldn’t tell)

OH FRIENDLY WAY

UGHHHHH

FUCKING BASTARD

acacia is more of a mom to gray than fucking skye will ever be

good lord

UGHHH

NOW???

anw eight years ago everyone 🙂

this is so traumatic 

yay

[bunnihearted]

⃝ .. 📓 ‧₊˚ 🦢

trying really hard but i cant lie, this hurts like so much actually.... for so many reasons. i didnt only 'lose' the future i wanted and the love i wanted to invest in, but also one of my only two 'safe persons'. which i lost my first one too. and that just stings and hurts x100 worse. esp since i used to believe no one but my mom would ever be a 'safe person' (an avpd thing). i wouldve been like so incredibly lucky if the person i was in love with was also a safe person to me, then smth like a relationship would actually be possible.. but idk maybe it could be possible without that too, just more work ig? but yeah i didnt only lose all that and am not only heartbroken bc someone i truly wanted to be with and love, wont be within my reach anymore. but also.. simply losing a safe person is painful in of itself.

but yeahh. trying really trying bc reality is reality but every single day it all just hurts so much. other ppl might think im insane and maybe nobody gets it, i feel like nobody gets it, but it simply just does hurt. a lot. maybe i just think and feel and operate on different wave lengths than most ppl, but this really did mean so fkn much to me. it was something real and true to me. i could imagine and envision it so vividly i could taste it, and i have never wanted anything more than that. i wouldve and wanted to do everything.... anything.... i dont know i just dont know. bc it was smth so big for me even in the beginning, and the fact that i could even message him every single day.. multiple times a day.. for 3 months.. ppl dont get it but that is like impossible for me. during a week or two i might be able to reply once a day, but mostly im like wow it's been 3 weeks and i havent replied. and yeah thats shitty and i hate that abt myself, but it has to do with my avpd and i have no fkn idea what to do abt it. when i was in school i texted my friends every single day after school and during the night no problem. now thats so hard to me. so the fact that i could do that with him bc i wanted it so bad is a big thing for me in of itself. and i couldve kept going, i wasnt the one who stopped which i always am.. and like this is from my pov, im not one to be mad or upset that someone takes time to reply. i get it. i did get it and i was sad that we didnt talk every day anymore and i felt like i was harrassing him if i wouldve kept saying gm and gn every single day, so i didnt and i wanted to give space and not suffocate... but every single day i wanted to spend every single second with him. im scared that im actually crazy lol...

so... its wild to me to think of but i really couldve just kept going and i wanted to but its not only up to me. i wanted more more more but smth .. i feel like i tried to talk abt certain topics but explained them so clumsily that it got missunderstood and then smth shifted and ... a wall? idk. i dont know. i think and think and think even if theres nothing to do to change the past. but i still go over it obsessively... i wanted more wanted to keep going wanted to evolve it it couldve evolved but then it just stopped and i scrambled to get it back onto the train tracks but idk. i just do not know. what i can know is that from me, i, wanted to keep it going, keep it rolling, until it wouldve naturally ended up in the destination i could see, could taste, wanted. knew and felt it would end up in. thats what i know. i dont know more tho...

i also know that it hurts so bad and im trying to not mind it but like ohmyfuckinggod?????????????? what is wrong with my brain? what is wrong with me????? what normal person does this........

[jello-fello]

Sorry for asking, but

Are you ever going to post on ao3 again?

ty!

yes and no? i have no intentions of posting fanfics specifically (at least RN i can say that), but id like to post original work if there was an audience interested. there's been a major genre shift in the stories i want to write now lol (Cough. slasher psychological thriller / "Is this supernatural or is it psychological" type of story)

i will say tho that i will not be finishing unfinished fics currently on my ao3 rn, sorry. it's just been too long, i'm not really in any of those fandoms currently so i'd have to like. MAJORLY refresh both the source material And my fics and i dont have the spoons desire or time to do that lol. and i will not be writing fics for BNHA ever again in general (however i think its hilarious izuku lowkey looks like a bootleg regen izuku in canon now lmfao)

however! Until we can figure out what wrong w my joints and health i'm physically unable to make any art lol. i type 8 hrs a night at work and even thats excruciatingly painful, so i kind of Especially don't feel like i can write as a hobby now

as of rn. we think its a combo of arthritis and ehlers danlos. shrug who knows.

and health and stuff aside. i am not the same person as i was when i wrote those fics. not be dramatic but im so serious lmfao. theres such a drastic shift in my mentality and beliefs and thoughts that if i were to continue those stories Now i think i would sincerely ruin them. i think the sudden shift in how i write and tell stories would just pull away from the story and i just plain dont want that, you know? and on top of it i DO NOT remember where the hell i intended for any of my fics to go or where i even left off

ALSO ALSO ALSO i've become like. obsessed with being chronically Offline. which. btw sorry if this ask was sitting for a while i have not logged in since the last time i said smth i think i sincerely do not recall

IF i did post fanfics on ao3. ngl. it'd SO be dunmeshi. Laios <3

anyways hope that answers your question and im sorry it answered like 12 other things you literally Did not ask lmfao okay bye!!!!

[coconox]

Why you love Mammon? Of course i'm not judging your favorite or something don't get me wrong here haha:D

I live love laugh Mammon too! And i want to know other Mammon lovers, what is the thing that makes them love him😋

i have quite a few reasons on why i love him so big ramble incoming LMAOHSHFJS

i think one of the biggest reasons is just vibes alone lol. my type in general is usually big brute exterior, soft and silly interior like with nocti from pgr and aki from neural cloud

theres also a common pattern of having the most dorito bod + tiny grabbable waists ive ever seen but thats a whole other topic 💀

+ most of the time theyre all shirtless? 🤨 i keep unintentionally choosing the ones that are/go shirtless more frequently than other chars so thats another weird call out to myself hsjfjskf

legit when i first saw mammon my brain was automatically like "i NEED him." it was literally the same as how mammon fell in love w mc, love at first sight LOL

anyw looks aside i very much love his approach of "i'll be yours and so maybe one day youll choose me." its a nice change of pace from the usual "youre mine and i will do as much as possible to prove youre mine." he ald knows everyones gonna try to claim you, so he found a workaround that stood out from the rest (actual big brain move imo). idk i like the more passive approach of him just letting you go at your own pace and he'll be there whenever

most of his card stories (havent fully read his attacker card tho cause im stuck on needing his sig 😭😭) normally have him submit to you and let you do whatever you like, even reassuring you that no matter how rough (or gentle) you wanna be w him, he'll always enjoy it (cause he gets to spend time w you hHHSHFJSKFK 😭😭🥹🥹🥹) and being rough wont hurt him in the slightest. idk i like being in control in most ✨️spicy✨️ situations and for mammon to be like "do as you please" just makes me very happy :3

hes also just very romantic and sweet and gentle and tHE LOVE CONFESSION IS SMTH I WILL NEVER GET OVER 😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹 you can tell he just loves you sm and as much as he wants to be like "youre mine >:3c" he normally doesnt do that and just lets you be free to do whatever

in one of the chats when you ask if its alright if you see other devils, hes very much ok w it as long as hes your #1 like HSJFJSKDK ?????? OFC YOURE MY #1 MAMMON LITERALLY NO ONE COULD REPLACE YOU 😭😭

also love how he carries mc a lot of the time in card stories, i just imagine he carries them like this

i also like how his greed is portrayed differently from the usual. like his greed focuses more on keeping/maintaining what he ald owns rather than trying to be on the hunt to collect everything (tbf he ald believes everything is his so theres most likely no need to really collect anything in his eyes).

other side note i just love his sticker he sends when he txts ITS SO CUTE HE LOOKS SO HAPPY 😭😭

tl;dr i like how hes very sweet and romantic and gentle despite how absolutely MASSIVE he is ;w;

i could go on and on w more examples but id just be stating the same points over and over again hdhfkskf