#even tho she technically doesn’t exist in epic

[starlitvick]

Athena whump featuring a really awful parent Zeus and amazing sister Artemis

[patrckbrewer]

but like u don’t even write smut tho so what’s the issue

listen i contemplated being nice but nah fuck it.

it doesn’t fucking matter if i write smut or not. what matters is that this shit is for fans and dan levy and noah reid (and every other actor/creator whose work has fanworks) are not fucking fans

i would highly recommend reading this post by @dinnfameron but i want to highlight this section specifically

schitt’s creek is dan levy’s intellectual property (IP) he owns it and he has the rights to do what he wants with it. fanfiction is technically considered fair use but it’s a tricky grey area. because the fact of the matter is that we do not fucking own these characters and if the person who does says “okay we’re done with this” then guess fucking what? no more schitt’s creek fanworks

i don’t know how old you are anon or how long you’ve existed in fandom spaces but i suggest you read up on the history of fanfiction. if you jump to the legality section, you’ll see a few very notable things:

1) in 2003 JKR and warner bros sent cease and desists to people who wrote and published harry potter fics with ✨adult✨ content and essentially forced them to delete any smutty harry potter content.

2) anne rice was so violently against fanfiction that there was next to zero interview with a vampire fics online because she would hit them with lawsuits. in the days following her death, ao3 was flooded with fics dating back 20+ years

3) george r.r. martin has said that he believes fanfiction is copyright infringement and a bad exercise for aspiring writers

you know what things like what happened with JKR and anne rice bringing lawsuits against their fans? it led to people being so terrified of being sued that they were putting disclaimers on their stories that they don’t own the characters and a lot ended with “(creator) please don’t sue”

the fact remains that these aren’t our characters, we have no legal claim to them, and we can only continue to create because dan allows it. he doesn’t seem the type to pull a JKR or anne rice, but it is his legal right should he choose to do so

i don’t give two shits if you think saying the actors should read a certain fanwork is a compliment because it’s fucking not. it doesn’t matter if it’s a short and fluffy drabble, a novel length epic, or a hardcore kink PWP.

it is not fucking for them. it is for us. do not fucking show it to them or even joke about it because that’s how you get people nuking their works and never fucking creating again. stop being fucking freaks and learn the fucking history

[vaguely-concerned]

R-r-r-rewatch thoughts for The Mandalorian S2 Ep2

(or Chapter 10 as they seem resolved to call it)

- can I just express my joy for a moment that in one episode we get peli, the answer to my pleas for female representation in the ‘sketchy middle aged car mechanic’ niche, and a female alien designed with no consideration towards sexiness. (I mean I’m sure there’s someone. There is always someone somewhere on the Internet, is the bitter truth history has shown to us. but it’s not the intention behind the design haha)  

- they do take great pains to deliberately show you boba’s armour several times both in the recap and in the episode itself, so never despair he is very likely still on his way onto our screens once more

- this dude holding the baby hostage wanting specifically the jetpack in exchange is the one (1) break this whole episode gave din lol 

also the Patented Mando Finger Curl of Stress while he talked softly and calmly to not promp this asshole to make a sudden move... the most endearing character tic, I love my space cowboy dad so much 

- fun continuity detail: din is all out of whistling birds now, and you can see it here!

I wonder if he could still use the same mechanism with different ‘ammo’, it’s just not as effective? from the way the armorer spoke whistling birds seem quite rare and it would be an inefficient use of beskar if that’s the only thing it can be loaded with

 - I love how after the last episode, a 50 min epic with a bunch of original trilogy significance and impressive technical achievements and exciting character reveals, I was like ‘yeah okay I suppose that is quite interesting’, and this mess/comedy of inconveniences is the thing that fully makes my brain tip into the obsessive ‘BABY AND DAD SHOW!! BABY AND DAD SHOW!!!!!’ mind state lol

- ah the traditional ‘mando trudging slowly but steadily through the desert’ montage we all love to see (I hope this is going to be a Thing for the second episode of every season from now on) 

Also I assume his suit has some sort of temperature regulation built in and that’s how he didn’t, y’know. die under the blazing desert sun

-

CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT man I love the jawa. also mando doesn’t even glance over at them, really emphasizing how he’s like. done with this entire day (and it’s all barely even getting started din! i’m sorry)

 yodito’s look in this scene tho... he’s like ‘we’ve Seen some shit lady’ (actually I think he’s staring at ‘dr mandible’ like O___o. it’s been a long day for a lil boy) 

you get to see dr mandible’s cards a few times, so I assume anyone who knows the rules of... sabacc? probably? could figure out beforehand that he was in a bad spot. (the star wars fanbase is one of those where I KNOW the rules exist somewhere, and I know people who know those rules exist too)  

- that sound the baby keeps making -- the ‘boo-a’, sometimes with a p-sound at the end -- if that’s the precursor to him saying any variation whatsoever of ‘dad’ or ‘papa’ or ‘baba’ or even ‘buir’ or anything, I will die. I will sink to the ground in a heap and never get up (the way he keeps seeking out gaze contact with the helmet and seems perfectly satisfied with it too... fasdhfaskdjhl my FEELINGS)

- it seems confirmed in this ep that the mandos who died on nevarro did so while holding off the enemy so the rest(probably especially the children) could get away; some of them appear to have escaped. which I guess is a small relief

- 

frog lady stepping out of the shadows and into our hearts

I like that her firm nod after Peli translates ‘her husband has seen them’ lets us know she understands... basic? is that the common tongue thing in star wars there’s just so many to remember across fandoms lol? perfectly well, even if she can’t speak it. 

- mando might be running low on ammo for the pulse rifle, if the fact that he hasn’t replaced the missing cartridge on his... bandolier belt thingy is any indication

ETA: actually ignore me this has been a thing since the literal first episode of the show my brain just had a hiccup lol

- so baby seems to use a little bit of the force to pull the eggs towards him -- I wonder how often he ‘taps into it’ or if it’s always ‘on’ in the background for him. if so I guess there’s no wonder he’s so hungry (but also... kid you can’t end this lady’s entire family line like that one cat who singlehandedly made extinct a whole species of bird! D:)

- din so rarely gets openly angry, he just gets passive aggressive and grumpy. and that’s probably not the healthiest way to deal with things but I love him

- frog lady reacts so strongly to when din sends the ping when nothing else woke her up, I wonder if she can hear more frequencies than a human

- 

hello darkness my old frieeennnddd

- 

proof nr 1508 that din does not starve this baby you guys, he even has his own little tray just the right size for him! as it happens the baby simply seems to prefer eating things that are... still alive in some capacity. which, uh. maybe they can invest in some form of non-sentient crickets or something for him to hunt down and.... oh dear

- 

Look how they massacred my boy

By the way I finally managed to put into words why the Razor Crest -- and particularly the way it keeps getting beaten to hell and back and patched up again --  is so symbolically important and meaningful to me in this show in this post over here! it’s always a great relief to me when I can finally understand what the hell I’ve been going on about all this time and this was one of those lol

-  honestly if it weren’t for frog lady and (more importantly) the baby I think there’s a slight chance din would’ve gone ‘well I had a good-ish run of it for a while there’ and just let the ice claim him haha   

- “Why don’t you come over here and give me a hand. Make yourself useful” This is the one time in the episode I think he crosses the line into just being a dick for a moment (but noticeably the baby isn’t just a little hurt at this reaction, he’s clearly surprised and confused, which means this really does not happen often. after the time mando’s been having recently I guess a moment’s snappishness is understandable haha. he does follow up right after with being much more responsive and attentive when the baby toddles away from him, so it feels like it’s going to be okay)

also the ‘boo-ap’ sound is there again when he’s trying to get din’s attention. just sayin’ 

when din comes over to see the footprints baby makes a declarative little meep like ‘see??? I did tell you!’ haha

- it is very funny that mando is using all his technology meant to track down dangerous bounties in the grungy depths of the criminal underworld... to find a naked lady just chillin’ in a hot spring 

- 

cue the ‘father is evil?’ memes fsadfda. actually the funniest thing about this moment (apart from the fabulous finger acting) is that din actually snatches a few eggs out of the baby’s reach more subtly right before, and that baby only whines for ALL OF ONE SECOND before he goes to sniff around for other food possibilities fkadfhjkds. from my experience with human children he’s a lot less prone to tantrums. yodito doesn’t get mad, he gets even 

- baby running towards din through the hatching spiderlings like ‘DAD I FUCKED UUUUUUP’, din’s little strangled ‘ngh’ sound as he picks the baby up and watches all the creepy crawlies come out... *chef kiss* impeccable 

(that little ‘ngh’ and the soft shocked ‘ah ah AH!’s from when he goes flying at the beginning of the episode... pedro pascal and his voice work for this character gives me so much life. in some ways din has this sort of dignity and grace and in other ways he uh extremely doesn’t. he gets to be cool but also vulnerable in ways a lot of male main characters don’t and it’s probably why I love him so much) 

btw here is that moment when din moves to hold the baby tightly against him with both hands as the big spider appears, because it gets me right in the heart... it such an instinctive thing of holding on to the dearest thing you’ve got before something bad is about to happen

fdsafhsdakjlfhsdkjlhfsdajhf oh my god the baby is clutching din’s finger with his little hand during the chase!!!! 😭😭😭

this FUCKING SHOW has just WEAPONIZED putting in small details everywhere to convey the love and tenderness and attachment felt by a little muppet doll even where only weirdos like me will frame by frame their way through the video to see it I am so MAD

- frog lady going ‘fuck this’ and bounding along is  e v e r y t h i n g 

- din is an amazing shot, though, he doesn’t seem to miss a single one in this whole scene (then again there’s something to shoot at basically everywhere one can take aim so lol)

-

baby hiding behind/half hugging din’s boot as he tries to get the doors closed hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can’t breathhhhheeeee 

honestly every single one of the baby’s proximity seeking behaviours in this ep has me on my knees 

- it’s very unfair to play the heroic happy mando music like everything is going to be fine and then have a huge fuck-off spider drop down from the ceiling and break it off mid-tune, the mandalorian, you have trained me in certain ways and now do you betray me??? how can I trust again

- the camera work in the scene with the new republic guys gives such a good sense of the discomfort of being judged from on high by someone or something you can’t really see -- the glare of the lights blocking out everything in the shots from din’s pov makes it feel like a tense interrogation (the new republic dude who is actually dave filoni has such a look of fondness as he watches din tho it’s kind of sweet)

- ...oh no I think baby was actually considering munching on that dismembered spider leg YODITO NO JUST EAT YOUR KRAYT DRAGON BABY

- hngh this is a weird filler episode and it has my entire heart. I suspect we might get some episodes of a more stationary baby between active ones like this -- you can tell a little bit in this episode that especially having him running around fast is quite difficult to have look natural, they likely save that effort up for when it best serves the narrative  

[inheritorofmemories-archive]

Let’s talk about The Old Guard’s OST

And I don’t mean the songs because I don't have that many opinions on them and I'm sure other people can talk about that better than me, but the music that was written for the movie by Volker Bertelmann and Dustin O’Halloran.

Note: I'm only gonna talk about the instruments, themes and parallels, not really about scales or that kind of more technical details, for the sake of saving time.

Okay so here's an analysis by me, a music nerd that can't help but overthink everything they like. Featuring lots of appreciation for minimalist music and cool symbolism.

Why is the Old Guard’s soundtrack so good and so fitting?

The whole thing is under read more because it’s long

 .

First, the composers.

I don’t know Bertelmann, but I’ve listened to some of O’Halloran’s work (he did The Hate U Give ost). He also worked with Johann Johannsson in the past a big name in the composer and movie soundtrack world (he did Mother!, Prisoners, Arrival amongst other).

O’Halloran cites Arvo Pärt as a big influence in his music. It’s almost all thanks to him and his work that the ambient and minimalist music was born, he’s a huge name. Minimalist and ambient are (to oversimplify it) simple tune, with as little notes as possible, little melody repeated over and over, soft percussion, it embodies the idea that “the less the better”.

What I’m trying to get at is, ambient and minimalist are now very related to the film soundtrack world because by essence ambient is making feel things with less, and that suits the need to uplift images with music that’s not overpowering. (Go listen to Max Richter’s work, he’s one of the first minimalist that was employed in the movie industry, and the Waltz with Bashir ost is amazing.)

Which takes me to this: The Old Guard’s ost doesn’t read like an usual action movie, or super hero movie ost because they used ambient instead of big brass and powerful electric sounds like you’re used to. And that’s what makes it so good for this film. 

.

So, let’s get to the actual ost. We’ll do it chronologically.

The ost has 24 tracks that amount to 46 min, for a 2 h movie that is in the norm. And the thing is, every instrument has a purpose, is assigned to someone or something and when you listen to it, you can understand that the composers tried to push along the director’s intention with the music.

The movie start with shells falling on the ground and Andy’s speech in complete silence, you’re thrown into the movie: it’s serious and it deals with the character’s emotional drive. Then, bam! “We were born alone” comes on and that solidify this idea.

The first track is The Old Guard, and it gives us a couple thing: the team’s music is composed of synthesizers, long notes held over some soft percussions. There’s piano in this track, and the piano=emotions, memory. But we figure that out later.

We find those elements again in the second track, Hotel. This time the synths are more present because Andy is watching the news and feeling bad about it. And the third one, A New Mission feature synth that are more agressive, since they’re on a mission, and what we assume are their peak coordination as a team. They’re as complementary as you can get for the South Sudan mission, that’s what this part show us.

One element that’s import to note: those three tracks all have choirs, faint in the first but in the third they peak, and you can actually hear them really well in the movie. Choirs are the marks of the Old Guard, of the team, and as soon as they dream of Nile, we won’t hear choirs anymore because the team isn’t complete, they need to find her.

This brings us to Nile. The end of Double Bubble and Nile tells us something else, Nile is the strings, and violon. When Andy leaves to get Nile, there’s string with her synth, because she’s her mission. We hear them when Nile speaks to the children in Afghanistan, and when she dies there’s strings and piano.

That’s when we understand that the piano is memory and emotions. There is piano mixed with heavier percussion for Quynh’s track The Iron Maiden, the memory and pain with a typical Old Guard’s instrument, and percussion are great to show the exhilaration of riding with Andy and the fear of being locked in the iron maiden.

In Booker’s track when he talks about his children in the cave, They Grow Old, we also have a piano, because he’s remembering and also feeling grief and sorrow.

And in What If We Don’t Live Forever? when Andy is sitting in the car after Celeste took care of her wound, we hear piano again, because she’s reflecting on Lykon’s death and her own mortality.  But, interesting details, strings join at the end of the track. Has Nile started to influence her character? Who knows, but I’m saying it.

And we have the piano again when Nile drive away when Andy and Booker go to Copley’s, because she’s thinking of her family and feeling guilty about the man she killed and feeling overwhelmed over her new immortal identity.

Also, when Joe and Nicky are taken and there’s only three of them left driving to the mine, we have almost no percussion and very soft synth, because the team isn’t complete, so why would the Old Guard's signature music be?

We do, very quickly, get their music when Nile look at Copley’s board and understand the role Andy and the Old Guard had in humanity, track Montenegro.

Nile get her own song moment with “Going Down Fighting" as she go save the team, and when she frees them, We Won’t Give Up mixes synth with her strings.

And to keep on with the awesome symbolism, in The Old Guard Attack (that moment before the explosion where they take down like 10 mercenaries together) over the sounds we get for them from the first three track there’s strings, Nile’s instrument. The team added her to their music, she’s accepted just like she accepted them with Montenegro when she came back for them.  That’s what we call very cool composition people.

And remember what I said about the choirs being gone? How for the entire movie, after they dream of Nile and Andy yeet herself jump from the train they’re nowhere to be heard? At the end for You Are Going To Help Us, they’re back. Because Nile has chosen her way,  she’s an Old Guard now, she’s part of the family so she gets to have the Old Guard music too.

Just listen to The Old Guard and You Are Going to Help Us, the first and last track. They are very similar in melody and structure, but in the second one you get more prominent strings. Again, Nile’s instrument. Is it subtle enough yet?

I’ve skipped some tracks because once you expose the idea it gets repetitive to mention it from all tracks it appears in, but you get the idea.

Seriously if you have time try to give it a listen, it’s actually really nice. Tho, fair warning, I’m the kind of person that listen to movies and games soundtracks for fun all the time and geek out about ambient music, so...

.

And finally, to come back to what I said, and why this ost is so good, I need to talk about the whole atmosphere Gina Prince-Bythewood gave to the movie.

I talked a bit about it here (long post too, sorry), but the movie isn’t all big explosions and SFX and actions in your face. It’s gritty, dark, and incredibly realist. GPB said she used blood pocket for the Kill Floor scene (The Old Guard - How to Shoot a Shootout- Netflix, at about 3:30 she talks about it) because she needed the gore realism of blood spraying out of them. That’s why there’s no fancy light, neons and colors nor very symmetrical or intricate photography but washed out lights and very minimal outstanding feature and even coloring unless it’s to make a point (there’s a post about centering subject in the shot in The Old Guard going around, like Nile in the elevator at the end, very cool). It’s also why they used wide angle for the camera and the “shaky cam”, the camera that’s moving along the characters with lot of shakes because it’s on the cameraman’s shoulder (think documentaries and things like that, again, grounded and realistic film) and not smoothly like you would see in a Fincher movie for example.

It’s also why the most sober ost works so well. It’s not like John Wick with the guitars of Tyler Bates and Le Castle Vania electro, or the Avengers big brass and epic musics. Not, it’s soft, it’s barely noticeable and it only pushes for more emotions, it doesn’t artificially force any on you. The plot and actor’s acting do that for you.

That’s why I think the ost fit so well, no matter that some people think it’s boring or non existent. That’s the goal, to have a soundtrack that uplift without shadowing, something that's just as dark and neutral and gritty as the photography and themes of death, immortality, humanity, etc.

That being said, go listen to some ambient, it’s nice.

[koganeirou]

me before playing blue lions: haha I’m not like ~other girls~ I don’t like Dimitri and I think he’s boring and basic.

me after playing blue lions: I will die for Dimitri.

I finally finished Azure Moon!! Can’t believe it took me 4 damn months to finish this route. Just like with Crimson Flower, I decided to do a very long write up of my thoughts of this route after letting my thoughts marinate for a bit. There will be spoilers for both Azure Moon and Crimson Flower. Also disclaimer: these are just my personal opinions.

Tldr: this route was so fucking good!!!! I jumped ship from being team Edie/BE to team Dimitri/BL faster than Sylvain jumps girlfriends because I enjoyed this route more than Crimson Flower in almost every way possible. The Blue Lions are my KIDS and I will die for each and every one of them. Blue Lions may not be my first route/house, but this is where my heart rightfully lies. 

I guess the first thing I should get out of the way are the negatives. While this isn’t really a complaint about AM specifically and more so the narrative over the entire game... the conflict between Edelgard and Dimitri seems really stupid and contrived. In other games, war happens because the villain is evil. In this game, war happens because the villain is fucking stupid. Basically, I still ain’t convinced that Edelgard’s war was ever necessary LMAO. She straight up nuked the church’s authority and relevancy out of orbit the chapter before the time skip, so she technically already accomplished her goal; why she still feels the need to go on a savage conquest alludes me. 

Speaking of nuking the church’s relevancy out of orbit, that’s exactly what happened to Rhea LOL. Despite all the church goons clamoring every .5 seconds about how they gotta save Rhea, we literally never see her again at all after the time skip, even at the end of the game. It makes no sense why Edelgard would keep Rhea imprisoned and not kill her, especially when Rhea seemingly served no greater purpose to Edelgard and became completely irrelevant in the war phase.

Edie says some mumbo jumbo of “I weighed the victims of this war against the victims of the world and I deem that there will be less victims of war” like bitch, how??? How do you tangibly quantify “victims of this world”. If she means “people who had a shitty life because of shitty society”, then those people are always going to exist because every society has its flaws. Even if you change society, you aren’t decreasing that number because you’re only solving problems by creating new ones (Edelgard’s specialty). Also the mental gymnastics you have to do to be tortured by an evil organization only to team up with said evil organization to take down another organization that, unless I missed something, isn’t even directly responsible for the death of all your siblings??? In both CF and AM, Edelgard comes off as incredibly thoughtless and illogical in her actions and I can’t help but feel that if she had been just a little bit more diplomatic, then maybe, just maybe, she could have found a better solution without starting a bloody war.

This brings me to the god forsaken chat between Edelgard and Dimitri. Dimitri demanding to know why Edelgard started the war only for her to go “it was the only way” has about the same narrative weight as “Riku why did you become one with the darkness?!” “Because I’m the worst”. Instead of bitching about whose ~ideals~ are better, how about y’all sit down and actually discuss what each person wants to accomplish and maybe figure out a way to accomplish these goals without murdering each other over it? Not that I think Edelgard would accept anything BUT murder, but jesus, this is why you don’t leave diplomatic matters to actual children.

Speaking of why you don’t leave diplomatic matters to children, god that Gronder battle. I get that it’s supposed to be an epic showdown between the three houses that mirrored the mock battle pre time skip but... the Kingdom had literally NO reason to fight the Alliance!!! The reasons they provided to justify why the Kingdom and Alliance couldn’t team up at Gronder was so fucking dumb, especially when two chapters down the line, Claude is knocking at our door begging for help. I will say tho, I never knew how much I appreciated himbo in distress Claude until now lmao.

Rodrigue's death was also really poorly done imo. As much as I liked having Dimitri’s father figure be the one to snap him out of his insanity, (I love found father/son relationships...) how on earth are you guys so fucking incompetent that you let this tiny little girl kill Rodrigue??? It doesn’t help that the exact same thing happened with Jeralt and Monica. This... just ain’t it, chief. 

I think the biggest bone I have to pick at AM specifically is... so what the fuck is the truth behind the Tragedy of Duscur LMAO??? They literally blue balled me by dropping the bomb of “Dimitri’s step mom may have conspired in it” ONLY TO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH IT. I assume that the full truth behind the Duscur tragedy will probably be revealed in VW (I hope) because it involves the slithers but it’s highkey ridiculous that the BL goons... never actually find out what really happened, and why. And I get that the story is about them moving on from their trauma and the past, but they should have at least figured out the actual truth behind it so they can get the closure they deserve???

Despite the gripes I have with some of the writing, unless VW or SS is mind blowingly amazing, this route will easily stand as the best route for me, because.... it is kind of is mind blowingly amazing. I wholeheartedly love character driven stories, and this route absolutely delivers in that respect-- the character writing is amazing and is essentially the heart of this story. To think Dimitri and the Blue Lions were the lord/house I was least interested in at first. Even after hearing people talk about what the BL goons and Dimitri’s character arc was roughly about, I was still blown away by just how damn fucking good it was, and this route exceeded my expectations in every way possible. 

When playing CF, I struggled to connect with a lot of the beagles; I didn’t have that problem at all with the BL goons and the route does a phenomenal job at making me actually give a shit about these characters and their problems. Childhood friend squad (+Marianne and Ashe) are easily my favourite characters in this game by a landslide, and the dynamic between not only the childhood friend squad, but all the BL goons, was just so, so amazing. Watching these characters that are seemingly joined by a single tragedy, rise above all their suffering as they grow, heal, and overcome hardship together is just so... MY KIDS... MY HEART..... I really got the sense of not only their shared pain, but also shared intimacy, care, and friendship. Their support conversations with each other had everything; from goofy and fun, to soothing and nurturing, to painful and harrowing. 

The connections that the BL goons have to the pre time skip missions gave part 1 story so much more meaning, and it only gets better after the time skip. I really appreciate that the BL bean boys actually feel relevant to the main story, and that their input and opinions actually mattered. The cast’s struggle to come to a consensus on the best course of action during the war phase made them feel like actual people with opinions, unlike in CF, where everyone was just a mindless passenger to Edie’s not so merry joyride. This also made Dimitri’s arc way more impactful because the narrative actually holds him accountable for the consequences that his behavior/poor decisions had on others. What I also really liked about the war phase is that you could just feel how war torn the kingdom was and how much everything went to shit after the time skip. I felt really strongly to the characters’ sense of hopelessness at fighting a losing battle as they struggled to keep their home land in tact while everything just kept spiraling out of control and deteriorating further. 

So to see the BL goon beans slowly, one battle at a time, turn the tide of the war and push back against the corner they were backed in, was SO fulfilling and rewarding. The battle of Fhirdiad is probably my favourite battle in the entire game because it felt like all the suffering and toiling that the BL goons went through was finally worth it, and just watching the kingdom slowly heal after being liberated was just such a good feeling. This kind of payoff is something I think CF sorely lacked, since tbh, I struggled to celebrate Edie’s victories with her. Though I do appreciate how Edie’s a much more threatening antagonistic force than either Dimitri or Rhea were in CF too bad Edelgard’s boss battle was pathetically easy and Dimitri shredded through her armor like swiss cheese... at least Rhea put up a slightly challenging fight.

I could gush about the characters all day, but Dimitri? He makes this game, 100%. This truly felt like his story and he was the star of this route. On a superficial level, I’m a basic bitch as well as a slut for angsty boys who have trouble talking about their trauma because I want them to rail me. I fucking loved his feral personality it was just so fun to watch and interact with LMAO 10/10 would let him use me until the flesh falls from my bones. His dialogue in this state is just so demeaning, belittling and raw that it somehow comes a full circle and becomes charming I promise I’m not a sick masochist.

I’m also a degenerate and dimileth is my otp. The way the relationship between Dimitri and Byleth develops over the game truly felt like a bond forged over time. The way Dimitri admits that he couldn’t trust Byleth at first because he was put off by the way they could “kill without batting an eye”, to being so elated when he sees them smile for the first time that he’s completely mesmerized when they starts expressing emotion... oof, talk about otp material. I think what really sold me is the way he’s their anchor after Jeralt’s death; their emotional support both in a traditional sense, but also in a darker sense when he declares he will kill anyone so they desire it because their enemies are his enemies. Character A declaring they’d die for character B? Soft shit. Character A declaring they’d kill for character B? A+ romance right there, boys. 

On a non superficial level, Dimitri’s character arc of his fall from grace and subsequent redemption was absolutely phenomenal. Just seeing how far he sinks, how far he goes, only to see how far he climbs his way back up after hitting rock bottom, was such a roller coaster and I loved every minute of it. I also probably like revenge stories more than I care to admit. Dimitri has everything; blood lust, cruelty, obsession, but also empathy and compassion so extreme that it’s his very own innate kindness that drives him into insanity, which is what makes him such a compelling character in my eyes. The extremity of his psychosis was absolutely heart breaking, but despite everything, him making the conscious decision to change for the better and rise up to fulfill his role as king was just astounding to watch. 

I will say though... maybe I have a screwed up moral compass but tbh Dimitri brutally killing imperial soldires didn’t really upset me because... this is war??? That he didn’t even start?? Everyone is killing everyone??? Even if he never went feral, he’d still be killing because his bloody kingdom is being invaded?????? But I digress.

While I think just how damn avoidable everything was kind of detracts from the tragedy of his relationship with Edelgard, I still really loved how steadfast and unconditional his love for her was (after he stops going feral), and you can tell just how much she meant to him every time he spoke of her. I also love how the dagger kind of becomes a symbolic motif throughout the story, and Edie throwing the dagger at him in the final cutscene as a sign of her wholehearted rejection of him was just fucking depressing, but also very fitting of her character. 

I adore the whole overarching narrative and themes surrounding grief and death, befitting of a war game. How, as tempting as it is to constantly keep the memory of the dead alive, there comes a point where you have to move on and not let your life be ruled by those no longer around. The way that the characters react to the death of loved ones and grieve so differently was a huge highlight of the BL squad’s characterizations, which just makes them feel more alive and human. Honestly, no words can really describe just how incredible of an experience Azure Moon was.

Anyway my order from favourite to least favourite BL goon bean boys are: Dimitri > Ashe >/= Sylvain >/= Felix > Ingrid > Mercedes > Annette > Dedue. (I love Ashe/Sylvain/Felix almost equally LOL)

tldr my experience with Azure Moon:

tfw my second best girl is childhood friends with all the best boys in the entIRE GAME and she settles for a guy with a dead wife, daughter, and most likely triple her age :|.

I’ll be finally playing Golden Deer next, which I’m gonna do on NG+ Maddening so.... hope that goes well!!

[annavolovodov]

ya girl saw the downton movie and has some Thoughts

if you followed me at all from 2011-2015 then you'll know i am firmly Team Downstairs and did not want this movie to happen, just so you all know what position i'm coming from here.

everything below is gonna be spoilery af. if you haven't seen it yet and want info just hmu. if you have seen it and want to talk about it please message me bc i’m always up for chatting about Downton.

okay but the title sequence with the music building and cresting as we come up over the hills and get our first shot of downton... goosebumps. tbh i don't know shit about film making but i can't fault the technical aspects (costumes, music, cinematography). the impact of the increased budget was felt from the very first second.

for the plot i’m gonna split things by character to make it easier. i’ll probably go to see it again and maybe after that i’ll have some deeper Thoughts but i missed being able to liveblog during the film so enjoy my rambling first reactions.

upstairs peeps

everything with violet was iconic. i'm glad that they didn't neglect her relationship with isobel and ofc maggie and imelda played fantastically off each other. pretty much everyone has already highlighted the scene with violet and mary at the end and it tied things up perfectly between them. violet and mary are so so similar and violet has been pushing for her to inherit since before S1. the movie showed us that mary is basically running the estate even if she doesn't get the the title and i can totally see why violet is confident in the future of downton now. that being said, i don't think violet will actually die. maggie has been talking about leaving since 2012 and fellowes obviously put this in as a get-out clause for her should she want to go, but i reckon they’ll convince her to do more. if carson's palsy can be mysteriously cured, so can violet's conveniently vague illness.

i already knew that robert and cora weren't gonna be in it much, but i wish we could've seen cora finding out what was happening with edith and helping her out. it wouldn't surprise me if there was a deleted scene there cause that whole storyline felt a little disjointed. i completely forgot that cora knew about the pregnancy and was so confused at how the queen foud out about it all. i don't think we got anything in robert and cora's bedroom, or anything with cora/baxter and robert/bates, which would've also been very welcome but i guess they can only fit in so much.

onto mary: this may be an unpopular opinion but god i miss her long hair. yeah i know it wasn't the style of the time but her wig in this one was tragic and they need to fix it. i absolutely love that t*lbot didn't exist for a solid 95% of this movie and mary got her rightful place ruling downton. i wouldn't say i’m the biggest mary fan but her arc felt like one of the more satisfying ones of the movie imo.

as someone who has been firmly #teamedith from day one i am delighted to see my girl happy and successful. literally all her outfits were A+ and not to be gay on main but those scenes of her in her nightclothes getting ready for bed gave me my rights. i’m sad that she seems like she's either given up her magazine or has less of a role in it now based on what they said outside???? she did seem unsatisfied with aspects of her position so hopefully she'll go back to doing some writing and publishing cause that was a good fit for her, and if edith and bertie are “modern” enough to travel without servants surely edith moving away from traditional grand lady duties and back to her magazine that wouldn't be an issue. 

the mention of sybil being gone seven years? yeah. thanks for the pain. tom accidentally saving the monarchy on no less than two occasions is the ultimate "congratulations you played yourself" moment but the fact he thought the army had sent someone to check up on him is the level of republican i'm trying to be on. i'm a bit ehhhh on his relationship with lucy, mainly cause i'd rather the screentime given to the newbies had went to established characters. but like sybil/tom was a wholeass epic romantic slowburn spanning several years through a war and across class divisions n shit and meanwhile lucy/tom have known each other for forty eight hours and had three conversations in a hallway so like obviously that’s just gonna pale in comparison????? like it just is???? i guess i don't hate it but it just was a bit unnecessary and the time coulda been spent on better things.

isobel didn't have all that much to do on her own but i appreciated her scenes with violet and i love that she was the one to figure out that lucy was lady whatever's daughter. penelope wilton's facial expressions during some of the exchanges with violet were great. i see lord merton has also undergone a miraculous recovery from his apparently serious anaemia but he also didn't appear much which was a big win for me!

team downstairs aka the ones i turned up to see

as a downstairs supremacist who has watched the screentime distribution in previous fifty two eps of the show, it’s fair to say i had low expectations going in. i expected a grand total of 10 minutes for the servants combined and i think that's why i was unexpectedly happy with what we got. ideally we would've ditched the subplots involving the personal lives of the royals and all the stuff w imelda staunton and her maid but oh well it could’ve been worse and i'll take any breadcrumbs i can get. anyway i'm eagerly awaiting the team downstairs cut of the film one of yall will hopefully make when the dvd comes out. the only part that was far, FAR too upstairs heavy for me was the last sequence of the film after the royals left and i think we would've benefitted from rounding things off with team downstairs after the ball.

so i guess retirement magically cured the palsy carson had, but i guess after matthew’s miraculous recovery anything can happen at downton when it comes to health. Fellowes is getting a free pass for retconning this one cause i cba with more death/loss. mary going to carson for help and him immediately coming to her aid was very sweet. kinda wish we'd find out what he was up to post-Downton (except for his gardening) tho.

i was expected zero carson/hughes content in this movie and yet !!!! and yet!!!!!! we were somewhat well-fed. like carson (incorrectly) thinking he can control the other servants and mrs hughes' "oh that went well charlie, start as you mean to go on" hdjksjs i love them. and the lil scene in their cottage ugh. also we got more of them using their first names and yeah i guess that makes sense given they've been married for a while now but as i said, i had low expectations.

mrs hughes is still like the best person ever but wbk. her vs. the royal housekeeper = iconic. i kinda felt bad for royal whatsherface in some ways because she clearly didn't know who she was up against THE elsie hughes who has vanquished much scarier foes in her time. the other servants were never gonna win that battle.

the 0.5 seconds of baby bates *chef's kiss* perfection. god i am slightly bitter it was only 0.5 seconds given the fuckin multiseason journey leading up to his birth. tbh we should've ditched everything involving the personal lives of the rando new characters and let baby bates have some of that time but fellowes loves upstairs too much to let that happen. the small interaction was adorable though and i'm glad the mention of his name was subtle enough that we can retcon it cause i truly believe anna and bates would've came up with a more creative choice than that. genuinely i'm so curious about their whole living situation and how they cope with a smol child while working full time but i doubt fellowes even considered that so y’know. what can we do. i enjoyed the breadcrumbs but i wanted more.

i did go into this film with the mindset of "something awful will probably happen to anna or bates," cause that's what usually happens in these things but plot twist!!!! we saw them smile on multiple occassions!!!! what a nice change for us all! i swear every time anna bates smiles an angel gains their wings. her scenes with mary were good and i'm happy their friendship made it into the film. you know what else i was happy to see? the EXTREMELY UNDERRATED brotp between anna and baxter. there was a couple of moments with them standing next to each other or talking to each other and it warmed my heart. like yass two of my fave people are friends. it's a big win for me. 

i'm sure i read something about brendan being involved in another project which meant he couldn't film too much (i'm curious to whether this impacted the lack of baby bates scenes?) and while it's true that bates didn't have a ton of scenes, i didn't feel like he was absent which was good.

thomas had the best storyline imo. i don't blame him for being angry that mary brought in carson and it was actually very iconic of him to go off in the library like that. i found it hilarious that while everyone else was panicking at downton he went off on gay adventures. i really wish we'd gotten this "thomas makes a gay friend then discovers the village's underground gay scene THEN gets a boyfriend" in the show cause that would've been SO MUCH BETTER than some of the other stuff that got stretched out across the last couple series (like the love quadrangle with daisy/ivy/alfred/jimmy). like, imagine thomas’ movie plot as a series-long arc. the impact. i liked the guy that was his maybe-boyfriend and i hope any continuation keeps that relationship going.

mrs p and daisy continue to be the mother-daughter duo of the century. i thought both of them were supposed to be moving to the farm post-S6 but i suppose that would've meant they wouldn't be in the film hence why it didn't come to fruition. i guess they could all move once daisy and andy get married. mrs patmore didn't get a great deal to do but i still feel like i saw her a fair amount. comrade daisy was awesome and is definitely me when i see any monarchy-related stuff. somewhere over the last few seasons she's developed into one of the most interesting characters in downton and we don't talk about that enough. andy trashing the boiler was immature af but at the same time i feel like it completely makes sense for daisy to take that as a compliment. it’s just such a daisy thing to do?????

now, there is one thing i kinda fucked up here. while i went into the film with low expectations for everyone else, i fully expected baxley to be A Thing because how could i not and boy did i come out looking like boo boo the fool. i guess baxter and molesley have continued the tradition of Agonisingly Long Downstairs Slowburns which would be okay if we were still getting one season per year but is quite frankly rude when we're on rationed content like this. the first half of the film i thought it was gonna be revealed that they were together or something but then that scene at the end implied they're dancing around each other and my god is it frustrating. i would give so much to trade tom and lucy's romantic subplot for a baxter/molesley one but once again i know that's an unrealistic dream.

definitely not enough baxter in general but that one shot of her, anna and mrs hughes standing in the same frame was worth the price of my cinema ticket. still love molesley even tho he's a monarchist.

in terms of the overall downstairs stuff, i'm euphoric at seeing all these people interact with each other again. as we all know, found family is the best trope and since the servants are literally the epitome of that every moment focussed on them is like chicken soup for my weary soul. was the revolution against the royal servants realistic? no. was it realistic for the two people who came up with most of the plot to be the ones who went to jail for doing literally nothing wrong and would therefore want to avoid stuff that could get them in trouble with an all-powerful family? also no! however, seeing downstairs all working together for a common goal is content that appeals directly to me and i am thankful.

shoutout to the last scene which is the best way the movie could've ended it for me. use of first names AND walking home together? thank u fellowes.

tldr; team downstairs fan who was strongly anti-movie, went in with low expectations, was pleasantly surprised.  there are a shit ton of things i’d change but i just really loved seeing these characters who all mean so much to me again. obviously the only reason this film happened was for financial reasons rather than a desire to continue the storyline (cause the finale tied things up perfectly imo) but i wish they'd done a two-part miniseries instead to ensure everyone gets some screentime. two ninety minute specials every few years would work much better if everyone wants to keep downton going but i guess that doesn't bring the cash in like a movie does.

[whetstonefires]

I have wandered into your tumblr and I want to know absolutely everything about your ideas for Earth 3 Impetus and Motion. EVERYTHING. Possibly the least relevant part of that is the family line, as Earth 3 often has really skewed versions of the characters. Would the first Johnny Quick even have a speedster grandson when he was killed and his blood used to power his successors?

Oh, cool ask! Thank you!

😄 I’m very happy to talk about this but I’m afraid you may be disappointed, because I’m Doing It Wrong. I’ve been working off and on on a bespoke Earth-3 for the past…several years. Production has slowed but not stopped. It’s up to over 300,000 words on AO3 at this point.

The issue that set me off was that tendency to skew; I didn’t like it. I found that, most of the times DC had built into Earth-3 before rebooting again, there were two countervailing currents leading writing decisions. On the one hand to make things As Wrong As Possible compared to the main timeline, and on the other to just make them…arbitrarily different.

Lois Lane is Superwoman, evil counterpart of Wonder Woman, for some reason, woop-de-do; this fits under both categories.

This process worked neither according to the ‘timeline that diverged into a Bad Timeline at some point in the distant past but somehow contains versions of the same people in the same place’ premise of the original Star Trek ‘Mirror, Mirror’ episode, nor does it work according to any direct cosmic principle of inversion, although some of the early versions claimed to.

(See: Mirror Christopher Columbus discovered Europe and then later Evil George Washington conquered England for the American Empire, what even guys. 😩)

Also Earth-3 so transparently existed almost every time it was reinvented as a place to get villains from, and to look bad in comparison to the main timeline, without any attention to making it work internally, which I thought was a damn waste of a cool concept. ‘A damn waste of a cool concept’ drives a lot of fanwork lol.

So for my world, I had the slightly conflicting goals of working as close to that amorphous thing ‘canon’ as possible, and of making the setting stand on its own, as a superhero setting, with internal causality and more or less the usual sort of hero-versus-villain logic. So I inverted the alignments of only superheroes and supervillains, and kept as much as possible of their backstories intact.

This means my stuff doesn’t map onto any canon Earth-3, especially not the one from Forever Evil because that came out after I’d already gotten all the big things pinned down. 😅 Some people get upset about this and come yell at me about how i.e. Owlman is Thomas Wayne Junior. But since I always saw that particular concept as a huge cop-out from looking at how few alterations it takes to turn Bruce Wayne into a spectacular villain, I was like ‘nuts to that’ from the start.

If you’re cool with my relationship with canon, on we go.

-&-

So, Impetus and Motion! I don’t remember what I said on that one post where I remember blathering about it, so forgive me if I repeat myself. ^^

Lineage is the same as canon, technically. I’ll go over it; if you don’t care just skip ahead to the next subsection. 😄

Mirror Barry Allen, the Dash, got his villain name for his signature kill technique of grabbing someone, hyperaccelerating them, and then letting go at the right moment that they get dashed against something immovable and go splat. He dashes people against things.

(His eventual sidekick, Blaze, got his for liking to make things combust by accelerating their molecules. The combination makes them sound like a pair of racehorses, which they did not intend and are very annoyed by when it’s pointed out.)

The Dash is pretty scary, especially because most of the ways he abuses his speed for profit are so low-key nobody even notices (i.e. screwing with the stock market) and he doesn’t need to be a supervillain. He just likes it.

His public villain profile is relatively low for the level of danger he poses, tho, because his town is infested with really dumb superheroes who beat him embarrassingly often, when he actually turns up to fight or is successfully ambushed. And with the occasional exception the scale of his crimes is fairly small compared to i.e. Ultraman.

Keeping him imprisoned is ridiculously difficult, tho. He can’t be completely depowered (because the Speed Force is external to him and all the power dampeners that are used assume they’re trying to shut off something generated internally) and he’s really smart, so it took years of battles to keep him long enough to transfer into a proper cell even, and longer to get an unblurred look at his face.

His secret identity survived so long that Barry Allen was there to comfort Iris West after she was targeted by the Dash on several occasions, and they were married by the time he got ultimately unmasked.

She left him after that and moved back to the future, which she was still from because that’s hilarious, but he eventually tracked her down and promised to reform if she’d take him back. This obviously fell apart eventually, but not until after the twins were born.

I haven’t mapped out the mirror Thawne line. I assume the Thawnes with healing powers who inadvertently adopted Barry’s twin were much nicer in this timeline but idk if he ever became Cobalt Blue or what. I hope he lived to old age. Apparently there have been multiple Cobalts Blue? Idk idc, Flash continuity what even are you.

Everyone thought Eobard Thawne was nuts, but he actually did go back in time and stop the Dash from destroying the world with nukes in a fit of rage, his historical analysis, method of giving himself speed powers, and time machine were all successful. He may additionally suffer from some degree of psychosis, but he wasn’t wrong. (His little brother still exists in this universe because good!Eobard wasn’t the type to manipulate time to erase inconvenient family members. He also doesn’t have the title Professor because he never got tenure, so he just goes by Zoom.)

-&-

Bart is still Don and Meloni’s kid. Frankly I don’t understand those two in the normal timeline, so it’s hard to construct their mirror versions in any depth or even decide whether they should get mirrored. (Probably not tbh.) But I don’t exactly need to, because the resulting Bart is very much the same and thus doesn’t really know them. He was still born with his weird speed glitch that caused him to be raised in a simulation, and eventually time-traveled to un-glitch him.

The difference is that he’s not a nice kid. He’s a two year old who looks twelve and has received all his socialization from reasonably good AI in a world that was not real. Where nothing had consequences. Where nobody was real.

He’s very frightening, is Impetus. Impetuous, wildly powerful, selfish–oddly sweet, occasionally, in the ‘gay and innocent and heartless’ way of Peter Pan, but probably even more likely than Peter to knife someone. He’s so delighted the first time he eats actual ice cream, as opposed to a simulated version, but the ice cream stand is now on fire.

Mirror Bart isn’t so much cruel or even un-empathetic as solipsistic. He’s arrested in the state of an intellectually advanced toddler playing, what’s that game called, the one where the objective seems to be getting in car chases a lot? When was the last time they made a new one, I feel like I haven’t heard it mentioned in ages, it’s a dead franchise isn’t it I’m old. Grand Theft Auto! That’s it. He doesn’t just not understand that danger is real, the way Impulse started out. People aren’t.

Impetus is easily bored and surrounded by NPCs. It gets ugly, sometimes.

He also time-travels a lot more frequently than normal Bart, because he doesn’t really get attached so he doesn’t try to maintain a normal life of any kind, so he pops up all over the timestream.

Jason Blood hated him personally long before Bart had any idea who he was; they have a villain rivalry plagued by causality issues and closed time loops that is alternately epic and stupid as fuck.

And then there’s Thad. Thad’s had a less awful time than he did in canon, I think–President Thawne is not technically a supervillain so he’s probably about the same as in the original timeline, but even assuming Meloni and Don are still out of the picture (probably it’s Barry’s fault in this dimension?) raising a kid as a ‘defense mechanism against a supervillain’ calls for less extreme brainwashing fuckery than raising one to hunt down a superhero.

So he probably behaved a bit more like a reasonable grandparent, simply because the context incentivized him to emphasize concepts like duty and loyalty more, and hatred less. He might even have been able to go public with Thad’s existence, depending on the spin he came up with. Among other factors.

But it was still a depressing, isolated, dehumanizing way to grow up, and it went on a long time, because as per canon Thad has the opposite problem from Bart in terms of how he passes through time. Motion is a 40-year-old man with a 12 year old’s body and approximate life experience.

Thad was already So Tired when he finally got out into the world on his own, and once he encountered Impetus he learned pretty quickly to both pity and fear him.

Even when Thad tries to avoid Bart and just have a life, Bart always crashes back into his existence again, and in the meantime he feels guilty. Because even if he could completely shake off having been raised to see countering Impetus as his whole reason for existence, he’d still feel a lot of personal responsibility to try, because he has the ability to stand up to him in a way almost no one else does, and he knows Bart’s out there resulting in casualties.

Due to all the time travel involved, even having just defeated Impetus doesn’t mean he’s not still out there at an accessible point in the timestream, needing to be stopped.

Impetus results in Motion the way Inertia resists Impulse. They’re very much locked into an action-and-reaction framework that does not even a little bit help with Thad’s clone identity issues.

Except for how the amount of time Thad spends saving people from Bart has slowly created a fairly large body of people over the course of history who know them as distinct entities, and like Thad a lot better. 

Good feels good. ^^ It’s not necessarily the case that this happens, obviously, but with their alignment swap they also ultimately exchanged who’s defined by isolation. It takes Bart a long, long time to even understand that he’s lonely.

[i-see-london-i-see-klance]

Ep 13: The End is the Beginning - Reactions

Here it is, the final ep. And I am all of the emotions...

Final ep. Let’s see if it can dig itself out of the hole. I am not holding my breath

By the way, is Altea secretly the same planet as Earth in the Dragon Ball Z series? Because there’s all these convenient wide open spaces for people to have epic destructive fights without murdering everyone in the world. The non-descript wilderness even LOOKS the same

The sword flies. Of course it does

Where is she even going with that portal?? I thought she’d destroyed every reality but one? Also AGAIN with the ‘willpower through this guys!’ UUUUUUGH

Oh my god NOW what.

Are they dealing with string theory now? Oh. No it’s just more crazy abstract concepts again

So they’re...outside the universe...s??? I think in string theory that technically means they’re in the 10th dimension. Also I’m pretty sure they should be insane if that’s the case. Human minds should not be able to process this. Otherwise I think technically they’re gods now? Existing outside realities, ability to destroy time and space on a whim? Definitely gods now. I would love to see this particular plot point play out but I am 100% sure the show will either ignore it or screw the pooch if they try to deal with it, so my only hope is fanfic

Honerva no! You’re destroying all the concept art that never got used!

What the...you know what. Every time I think this can’t get stupider, I’m proved wrong. A) Why the hell do they suddenly have super wings? B) Those things are ugly as FUCK C) How impossibly massive are they? They dwarf Voltras which dwarfs Atlas which dwarfed the lions which dwarfed humans. Those things have to be the size of a small country. Are you kidding me?

“Humans were flawed too” HOSHIT UNDERSTATEMENT THERE EH?

Okay, this is getting a bit preachy. A lot preachy. “Our differences make us stronger” sure but I’m pretty sure that’s not how alternate realities work. The whole point with an alternate reality is you’re not supposed to interact with it, so not sure how it technically makes you stronger. A great message, doesn’t actually relate to the situation at hand, guys

Okay I am getting a little choked up now. Allura saying goodbye is incredibly heartfelt, and the moments she has with each of the paladins is beautiful. Props to you there, show. Props. You did this part hella good.

Lotor what the hell are you doing there you ain’t no paladin! Get out! He doesn’t even go here!

So...they made Altean Lance a thing…? W h y . . . ? W h a t . . . ?

Big Bang part 2: electric boogaloo

How...did Allura do that? Whatever, fuck it, I don’t care anymore. She and Honerva are goddesses of creation now tho, that’s the truth and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise

Is Keith Galra Emperor now? Can he be the emperor now? I mean, he’s addressing them like he is. Make him emperor guys. This will end well

Is Hunk a cook ambassador? And he’s working with Shay? And Shiro? That’s perfect. What a good boy.

Oh. my. God. MATT. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR.

Aww man no emperor Keith? DANGIT *flips table*

Okay so I was loving the “where are they now” segment and then...just...Shiro OMFG. Where the HELL did THAT come from?? You married your bridge bunny? You scallywag!

Once again, props to the Voltron crew for actually including that moment for Shiro. That’s super sweet. I mean, we have NO IDEA who this guy is other than he was on the bridge, but what the hell. It’s sweet. All kinds of stupid. But sweet.

Oh FUCK YOU with that last shot. I was okay until then, and then the fucking outline of Allura and the lions going to her and FUCK YOU SHOW WAY TO DIG THE KNIFE IN ONE LAST TIME

Okay, so. Final episode. Series finale. It definitely was stupid. The whole finale was pretty goddamn stupid and made no sense and I’m hella angry about pretty much the whole friggin climax. But the last bits were good. They gave closure, gave us a chance to say goodbye to these characters that we’ve grown attached to, gave us a chance to see that they’d achieved happiness. That’s super sweet and cathartic and all very good things.

But the ending was also REALLY. REALLY. FUCKING. STUPID. Like. Really, horribly stupid. I am super glad it’s over and that the last say 5-10 min of the series were good, that’ll be the main thing I remember which is great, but my GOD that was stupid. Seriously. Frustratingly stupid.

Christ. I need to go through these notes again and try to organize them. Overall not a great season to finish off the show, but at least it’s over. Now we can start applying fanfic to fix all the goddamn awful stupid that happened.

I still say Allura and Honerva are goddesses now. Fight me.

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

The Raging Orlando

With all those TV Shows I’ve found out have been done about Renaissance Italy about sex and death and betrayal, I think s High Time we start talking about some candidates for some T Shows Adaptations taken from some works from Italian (Technically Non-Existent) Medieval Literature.

I’ll start with The Orlando Furioso by Ludovico Ariosto (The Raging Orlando, link to the TV Tropes page).

What could be basically considered as a Continuation Fic for The Orlando Innamorato by another author (The Orlando In Love), The Raging Orlando is technically the tale about a christian knight under Charlemagne who in the previous book fell in love with a Angelica, beautiful princess if Catai. In this book, he discovers that she had actually run away with a squire from the Saracen Army (Who had actually sent Angelica to the Christian Camp in order to sow dissent between their ranks) and so decides to throw a full on tantrum over it.

No, I’m not exaggerating or paraphrasing, that’s literally what he does.

Highlights from this and the previous book:

1) Angelica, Princess of Catai, is Always depicted as a blonde blue eyed beauty by most artists, don’t know why. I mean, She is an agent for the Saracen army/The Devil (I could be confounding myself with Tasso’s La Gerusalemme Liberata (The Freed Jerusalem) which had a similar plot) and I can understand them deciding to send someone physically desirable by the Christian Knights but still...

2) As soon as she arrives in the christian headquarters, all the knights start fighting over, starting a Benny Hill worthy chase scene about all the knights trying to abduct her for themselves. The scene ends with a mysterious knight in full body armor coming from out of nowhere, defeating the remaining knights and then abducting the Princess too.

3) Angelica entertains for a moment the thought that this new player might want her for themselves only for discovering shortly after that the Misteryous Knight is actually Bradamante, a woman paladin. Not that that might prevent her from wanting Angelica fro herself still, but still...

4) And so we have Bradamante, Paladin of France. She’s in love with Ruggero, son of the Wizard Atlante and knight of the Saracenan Army, which unfortunately means no Angelica/Bradamante Endgame. Her and Ruggero have a... Complicated relationship. While you might at first think of them as the embodiment of the Enemies to Friends to Lovers Trope, you should more think along the lines of the Kim Possible - Ron Stoppable Dichotomy. Bradamante is the Action Girlfriend and while Ruggero is a quite capable knight, he also spends most of the time either kidnapped or imprisoned.

5) Also, Bradamante battles the Wizard Atlante in duel as he’s riding an Hyppogriff in order to win Ruggero’s Hand, when will your OTP even, really.

6) Unfortunately, the epic love story between Bradamante and Ruggero is actually the side plot to the story despite it being far more entertaining and watchable. The main plot focuses, as the title might suggest, around Orlando’s Temper Tantrum.

7) Alright so, after many scenes and chases, Angelica ends up finding a wounded Saracen Soldier in the woods. She heals his wound as they both sought shelter in the house of an old Sheppard, and of course she falls in love with him. They bang, they marry, and they decide to elope to Catai together.

8) Orlando, meanwhile, is still searching for Angelica in the french countryside. He decides to pass the night at the same Sheppard that gave asylum to the two lovebirds. After making Orlando sleep on the same bed the two had banged on (Not even joking) the Sheppard tells him the two had banged, married and left fro Catai a couple of days ago. This starts’ Olrando’s Temper Tantrum.

9) He gets naked, runs in the woods, and start eradicating trees before throwing them around. Yeah, not even kidding that’s literally all he does.

10) There’s a bunch of other side stories, one of them involving Marfisa, The Saracen counterpart of Bradamante and basically a blood knight, basically going to an Island ruled by Warrior Women with another knight and then deciding to partake on an ancient tradition they have on the island where the only way a man can conserve his freedom and not being enslaved by the Amazonian-Like Society is for him to defeat 10 amazon warriors in combat before bedding all 10 of them on the same night (It shows the author didn’t get out much uh?). She succeeds at both tasks (See, we would even have a Lesbian character who DOESN’T get shot at the end of the story since she manages to survive the whole thing).

11) Also Angelica has an enchanted ring of invisibility and resistance against spells, who later gets stolen and even later gets stolen again by Bradamante.

12) Orlando gets cured of his insanity by having Astolfo, an English Knight, ride the aforementioned Hippogriff to the moon in order to get back Orlando’s Sanity, because apparently the fucker was THAT important. he then kills the Saracen king, ending the war.

13) Like, I’m skipping most side stories here guys the thing is pretty long. Like, 3 to 5 seasons long. The’re also the events of the Orlando in Love that could be adapted, which kind of doubles the duration of the whole thing.

14) Anyway, the book actually ends with the wedding of Bradamante and Ruggiero, which happens after a series of things:

A) The ghost of the Wizard Atlante appears to Ruggiero and Marfisa, Force Ghost Style, before they can duel to the death, revealing that they’re brother and sisters and that he has always loved them and just wanted to protect them. Basically, Star Wars Episode VI.

B) Ruggiero gets captured (Again) this time by the king of Bulgaria, whose son wants to marry Bradamante.

C) Bradamante, who’s pressured by her father to marry the prince of Bulgaria, then decides a tourney over who’s gona win her hand in combat, deciding to participate for her own hand (Pretty standard stuff really) since she doesn’t see Ruggiero anywhere.

D) Unknown to her, Ruggiero was freed by the prince of Bulgaria, who didn’t know he and Bradamante were lovers, and asked him to win for him the hand of Bradamante in duel. Ruggero, the poor idiot, accepts without knowing is Bradamante’s hand he has to win in battle.

E) So we have Bradamante and Ruggiero, both in full armor and not recognizing each other, basically fighting to the death in order to win Bradamante’s hand without knowing anything about anything else. Pretty dramatic.

F) I’m pretty sure the duel lasted 1 day long or something. Pretty badass.

G) Anyway I don’t remember how the duel ends I just know that at some point the Prince of Hungary discovers about Ruggiero’s and Bradamante’s love story and decides to be the bigger man before having Ruggiero and Bradamante marry after adopting Ruggiero in the royal house of Hungary or something.

15) SEE ORLANDO, YOU FUCK, THAT’S HOW YOU HANDLE A REJECTION.

Now, we would have to change some thing of course. Ruggero and his sister don’t have to convert to Christianity in the end, and maybe we can have an actually “race accurate” Angelica, but I think this thing would actually be a pretty nifty series all things considered.

Also, I’d like for a more villainous depiction of Orlando while also having the focus shift from his stories toward Bradamante and Ruggiero’s Love Story. I mean, LUDOVICO ARIOSTO HIMSELF admitted they were the most important part of the story, so why not make it so in the adaptation.

Keep the Raging Orlando title tho, I think it encapsulates the situation perfectly.