#even tho I made this back in March I still kinda enjoy it

[itsmattchou]

like sweet chocolate ice cream !

pairing: seventeen maknae line x gn!reader warnings: probably profanity i swear too much, reader is implied to be shorter than mingyu, canon typical seungkwan violence in chans section, english isn't my first language!!! genre: fluff synopsis: just cute things the boys would do in a relationship! notes: started this thing in march and finally finished like a week ago. first post kinda nervous🥴 shoutout to my beautiful gf for helping me with this!💗

hyung line version

seokmin - has thousands of petnames for you. he knows you have a name. but calling you solely by your name is too boring for him- so he just resorts to petnames. but always using the same ones isn't good enough for him either, as no single petname alone could express his love for you perfectly. so he just uses every single one and switches them up every time: honey, baby, babe, darling, love, sweetheart, sunshine, pumpkin, flower, … you get the thrill. he calls you every pretty word he knows. will get offended if you don't switch up your petnames for him from time to time too.

mingyu - rests his head on yours. no matter how tall you are, there's a good chance he's still taller than you. and he absolutely loves loves LOVES it. he does that annoying thing tall people tend to do- purposely putting stuff you need on the highest shelf so you have to ask him to get it for you (he loves feeling needed)- but his favorite thing he can do because his height allows him to is resting his head on yours whenever he gives you a random back hug. and he does it every time he hugs you. and he hugs you all the time. your head isn't for you to use, it's just "mingyus headrest" at this point.

minghao - remembers everything you tell him about. whatever you're telling him, he is always 100% paying attention. whenever you ramble about something, may it be about a show you like, about the book you've read recently or just something that happened at work- he slurps up every piece of information as if he was dying of thirst. minghao thinks of you as one of the most important parts of his life, therefore he "should treasure everything about you, even your opinion on the sweater your boss wore today" (his words, not yours). you do find it endearing, of course you do, but it's still a bit creepy when he remembers stuff you can't even recall ever talking about…

vernon - only watches shows with you. he is your typical introverted, quality time as love language, chilled kinda guy. he enjoys simply existing next to you, he doesn't even need to talk to you. your presence next to him is already enough for him to be super happy- but he also knows it can get quite boring to do only that. so he just puts a show on for you two to watch! vernon refuses to watch a single episode without you and stops the second he sees you asleep next to him and 100% expects you to do the same thing whenever he falls asleep first. he's always on the lookout for new shows for the two of you to watch and has made a list for it. he really likes to call it "your thing".

seungkwan - is your personal hypeman. this man is simply so fun and precious. he loves when you talk to him about your day, your ideas, your worries, your everything- he also likes that he's able to do the exact same thing with you. but he not only listens, he also encourages you and hypes you up. for every little thing. you wore the green sweater today? AWESOME! you want to try a new lip tint? GO AHEAD! you show him lyrics you wrote? YOU SLAYED! karaoke night? YOU'RE BEYONCÉ! he's so proud of you and can't help but be your lil cheerleader boyfriend. he still gives you the "criminal offensive side eye" from time to time tho. nobody's safe.

chan - updates you on everything. there's nothing chan loves more than spending time with you. dates, cuddling or just silently enjoying each others presence: he's down for everything, as long as it means being with you. of course he can't spend every second of his life by your side (sobbing), so whenever he's not around you he resorts to texting you. "wonwoo hyung just sneezed" "seungkwan hyung just kicked hoshis kneecaps" "seungcheol hyung just told me to put my phone down" he updates you on everything that happened, doesn't even matter how important it is. also has that goofy smile on his face his hyungs make fun of him for whenever you text

[tacky-optic]

OK so i've been in this fandom for well over a year now (since the end of october, ew) and zenigata is still my favorite. so after all this time, i'm finally slapping down some of my thoughts about the version of the loud angry rectangle that runs around in my brain and this nightmare of a franchise in general. as a new year treat.

most of these have actually been in my notes since february or march, made as semi-sporadic thoughts while i trudged through the series. i wonder if it's obvious what installment i was watching/had in mind for each of these, lol. anyway i found these at the bottom of my lupin notes folder back in october, plopped them here, then forgot about them again, oops.

but they're here now! at the very end of 2023! under the cut! you can even read them, if you want!

zenigata is selfish. there is a genuine drive to help people and do what's right, but pursuing lupin specifically? 100% an ego thing. zenigata pursues lupin (the world's greatest criminal) because he feels like he's obligated to (as the greatest cop (and not that he necessarily thinks this about himself presently, but subconsciously)). it stopped purely being 'the right thing to do' after the amount of chases hit double digits -- probably even earlier than that.

so what does he really want to achieve here? who knows, because he sure as hell doesn't lololol.

but seriously tho. it's probably simple human connection. or acknowledgement. he's always operated on a different level from everyone else, likely to the point of boredom and/or unfulfillment, so once he comes across someone that might operate on a level higher than him, of course he gets obsessed. game recognizes game and it's liberating.

he's most likely used to "it's only a matter of time" and not much else, so i bet the realization that "it's gonna be tough to catch this guy, isn't it?" was exhilarating because he NEVER had to think that before. and honestly, good for him. he seemed to have been a different sort of miserable before, but at least this new version allows for some bouts of genuine enjoyment.

he had to have said "because i'm the only one who can" at LEAST once, right? which is true! he is the only one who can. that's why lupin keeps him around. zenigata is the single legitimate threat that lupin hadn't managed to get rid of/ sway to his side and that amuses him to no end. he really likes that stubborn old man. he's great.

it's obvious that his skills would be far more useful and impactful on literally any other criminal case, yet he ACTIVELY CHOOSES to allocate his time to chasing after someone who simply can't be caught. and what's even worse is that he IS the only person who can catch him, maybe even end it all for good, but it's reached a point where he simply doesn't WANT to, solely because the chase is THAT entertaining/enriching/compelling to him. calling it a compulsion is great, actually. he's obsessed, doomed by the narrative, consumed by his ideals, etc. etc, and he's completely trapped by cartoon logic. i doubt he knows anything else.

the dark infatuation is great and all, don't get me wrong, but i really enjoy those bouts where he kinda just exists. he's living his best life, candidly enjoying what's going on around him or the (comparatively) simpler aspects of his job, and all that stuff up top becomes irrelevant, at least for a little while. i don't think he's wholly doomed, per se, just that we won't be seeing an "after" for him in any official capacity. because again, cartoon logic. he's got a role to fill, even if it's an objectively shit one -- but he makes do, and the fact that he is allowed to do other things is enough for me.

y'know, in hindsight, i think the live-action show impacted how i view this guy the most. i really do believe he doesn't have to be defined by his role in lupin's story. at heart he's a chaser, a dreamer. he keeps trying, over and over, and despite everything, he hopes. if he was none of those things he wouldn't even be after lupin in the first place, or lupin would never recognize him as his true rival.

....maybe i'll actually manage to finish some of the wips i have about all that stuff one of these days, lol.

as far as other media goes: parts 1, 2 and 4, tokyo crisis, ep 0: first contact, g vs r, and fuma are all pretty high up there, too. maybe a smidge of koike if i'm feeling particularly angsty, but until zeni's title movie comes out i wouldn't put too much weight on that one.

i'd be remiss to talk about the guy's most popular pairing, right? i mean, i gotta. it's lowkey kinda wild how luzeni never fascinated me to a point where i'd feel compelled to write or draw much of anything for them. they're like, all the worst aspects of fujilup/jiglup smashed together lmao. THAT'S INSANE, THEY'RE INSANE TOGETHER AND IT'S SO GOOD. but nah, jigzeni. we'll, uh.... we'll leave that for later.

my guess is it's because the fandom satiated any itch for luzeni that would've been there otherwise, like, right off the bat. the fics alone are so incredible to me and have greatly impacted how i see zeni in their own right. i should really re-read some of them. and maybe you should too, so--

LIST JUMPSCARE!! i read all of these (and more!!) this year!! and yes, they all involve zenigata!! i don't half-ass this obsession, just like zeni lmao. just be mindful of ratings and tags, ofc. explicits are red but the rest is reader's discretion. and if by the incredibly slim chance any of the writers of these see this, thank you for sharing your works, they're really friggin cool B)

Knave of Diamonds/Thoughts May Dim/Under Your Hat

In The Margins Of Another Life

Sunrise, Sunset

Judo in the Schwarzwald

unsaid/lucky strike/cold hands

The Language of Flowers

With Enemies Like These/All Along The Watchtower/Fair Game

Friends Don't Let Friends Diss The Chef

Fates Entwined

The Many Deaths of Kōichi Zenigata

mean luzeni series/Secondhand Vanity

Disreputable Company

Smother Your Sorrow

Kintsugi/how to hit on Zenigata and not actually hit him

pour déplacer un autre/My Dear Icarus

Fifty-Two, No Longer Counting

Smoke and Moonlight/Off the Record

this doesn't even scratch the surface, hah. i think i might like to read but i can't be entirely sure.

my favorite part of this fandom is probably how moldable all of the characters are; you can pick and choose from so many different types of media and sculpt the finer details however you want, but at their cores the character's fundamentals still shine through. it's how we get those fics and fanarts and even text posts like these going on about headcanons. this cast feels like people that've taken on lives of their own outside of their (frankly problematic) source material and that's super neat.

so at the end of the day, there really is no definitive version of zenigata, or any of the others for that matter; just a handful of constants. all of those bits and pieces from up top are a part of my zeni, in one way or another -- but i like a dozen other zenigatas too, even ones that might go against those points. he's definitely been my favorite for a straight year for a reason. maybe one of these days i'll figure out how to actually finish a story all on my lonesome and you'll be able to see my version of him in action ;)

so that's that, i guess. here's to another year.... and hopefully more lupin content, lol. i might not trust tms but i trust the fandom. it's a small but strong and good one and i'm glad to be part of it, even if it isn't in the most active capacity.

anyway pls keep drawing zeni like twice the size of everyone else lmao. tms are cowards for giving him stick arms like lupin >:((

[dennydraws]

Good Morning, happy friday!

It's friday, my friends :D We made it through the first week of the new year! I wanted to make a big New Year post but it's no longer the first or even the second... xD; there is no "New Year, New Me" kinda deal. It's new year and same ol' me just with more back pain haha xD;;; I only hope 2023 is kinder to everyone and the world as a whole.

So many games... so little time...

There are so many games coming this first half of the year... help! I'm currently playing Tactics Ogre and I'm at the final chapter but keep getting distracted by side content xD;; It's my first time playing TO and going in super blind. Apparently I'm going chaotic route. I'm having fun tho! Really love collecting dragons with my rando beast master I recruited. :D;; I kinda want to do some fan arts but time, energy - they are none!!

I got SaGa Minstrel Song Remaster and by now my friends know I'm a die hard SaGa fan. I've never played this one and super excited to play but couldn't fit it through the holidays and from the looks of it, I may have to play it way way later in the year.

@lumartical showed me Potion Permit and I grabbed it while discounted now I wonder how I can fit this before... Octopath 2 xD;; I was really hungry for another Stardew Valley-like game big time!

Octopath 2 is coming in the end of February, already preordered and super hyped! Not sure who I'll start with yet. I'm eyeing Thorne but the scholar guy or the cleric look super interesting too!

Suikoden 1 and 2 Remasters is apparently coming in March? Already preordered and if you didn't know by now Suikoden 2 is my all time favorite RPG and I will die on that hill. Once the game is in my hands I'm dropping off the face of the planet. XD

And somehow I need to fit FF14 here... h-help!!

Mobile mobile... I'm foaming at how much I love Romancing SaGa Re;Universe (that sure is a mouthful name lol) and in summer I will make 2 years. I mostly post on twitter about my pulls but as a SaGa fan this game is everything I'd want plus extremely generous xD;; I'm super happy for it, it brings so much serotonin.

Octopath Champions of the Continent, another one I play on and off but while I'm enjoying all the lore and stories, the gatcha part is very frustrating. Still I got some faves I'm aiming for, especially this month trying to accumulate 2k rubies to pity someone I really like but...we'll see if I manage XD;; wish me luck!

Okaay super rambled... but being back on Tumblr is making me more open to, just type about things that make me happy!;; Thank you for stopping by! Feel free to poke me in ask box or anywhere really if you want to nerd about games with me :D I hope I get to draw some fan arts or just talk about these more when blogging on Tumblr!

[tryalittlejoytomorrow]

11. What work took you the longest to write?

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

For the A03 wrapped ❤️

Thanks dear! 💜

11. What work took you the longest to write?

Oh, well, this one goes to a story which ended in early 2022 but actually started on March 2020, so, you know...just shy of spanning two whole years (insert loud gasp). I'm still kinda baffled that I did finish that one. There were many highs and lows during the twenty-two months it took me to birth this fic and many times when I almost gave up but in retrospect I'm very proud that I completed it against all odds and despite the lack of feedback it got.

To all the TIU fans who were disappointed/who hated the ending, lbh, this story of mine will always be true canon. It's never too late to go read and love it! Overall it's also probably one of the fics I'm proudest of, all fandoms considered.

But if we talk 2022 exclusively, then it's undercover married in the time of the moth curse fic! Took me four months and there was definitely a moment mid-through when I almost gave it up because of the lack of comments. It took me a little while to get over this feeling and it wasn't a great time for me either so it stung more than usual perhaps, especially as I feel like I did a good job of making this story very different from curse breaking fic despite dealing with the same background of case fic/curse era.

Looking back on it now, I'm happy that I finished it because at least then Nace gets to be one of those ships where I didn't leave the fandom with unfinished business. I put my affairs in order before retiring and there's something oddly satisfying about it. It's like being Steve Rogers and going on a road trip on that sexy bike at the end of Avengers: my work's here is done, lemme chill now.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

I'm actually not really big on rereading myself?? I mostly do it with multichap for continuity or to parallel lines. I do sometimes reread old fics of mine because my memory of them is fuzzy and I find hidden gems in them, or realize I have a pattern about some lines/symbolism throughout fandoms and ships. But mostly it's not exactly something I enjoy doing or do much.

I do reread comments very often tho. That, I do a lot. When I need a pick-me up, I'll either reread all the comments on one story, or reread specific comments from serial-commenters or friends. It's a huge boost and a reminder that even if fandom is made of 99% of silent readers, there's this 1% that does share how they felt and this is what fic writing is all about, right? Making people feel things.

Baby hit me one more time!

[hikorzik]

I also drafted March of the Machine with friends twice this week end ! Once in a regular draft, and once in winston draft. I did well, winning 3-0 in the draft, and 2-0 in the winston.

In the regular draft, I got Hazoret as my rare, and thought like “oh yeah draw power in boros let’s go!” and so drafted boros. Two things tho: both white and red were kinda contested, especially white, except for phyrexian cards, which I wasn’t going for (I planned on doing back up shenanigans) ; and blue and black weren’t picked a lot. This means another player who got a black rare was free to take all the black removal, while other players mostly took green and white cards and blue wasn’t really picked at all. I still won 3-0 a bit thanks to luck, and a bit thanks to red burn ahah! Back up, giving double strike to creatures, good removal and also having the beamtown equip and sword of once and future helped me a lot to go through my opponents’ boards. It was good fun!

In my winston draft, I went for jund big dudes, since I mainly got green cards with big incubate numbers, and also that 8/8 trample hexproof. My opp went for esper, which made black a bit contested, but I mainly took some removal so it wasn’t a big deal. This time I’m using red to have turn on creatures but also a bit of back up, and not for burn. It’s also so that I can play the tarkir battle and the gruul one. It can go reaaaally tall and is also quite satisfying to play.

I must say I wasn’t convinced by the set at first, because I was disappointed (a bit) with the story (even if it did all it could with the alloted time), and didn’t like a lot of the cards (I mean, I have nothing against them but not a lot of them interest me). It has grown on me tho, thanks also to the new eminence commander which is a knight. I was a bit sad too because he’s esper and my main commander deck is Syr Gwyn which is Mardu... But I decided to refit my Gwyn deck into voltron and keep Sidar Jabari as the true knights deck. Tested it yesterday and it runs very smoothly! I think I’ll enjoy playing him in the future. I also have to build out my Gargos deck, my new found love for mono green lol.

[mossnmice]

Here’s the piece I did for the @iamapearlzine !! It was a super fun project with tons of great people!

[lunareclipsa1026]

🌸The Sakura That Bloomed At NRC🌸

Spring is around March 20 - June 21 this year. I don't really have a season of spring where I come from, only summer and rain. So I thought of doing something special since it's around at the middle of Spring season.

So this is based on & inspired by the one scene in Episode 6 of Welcome To Demon School Iruma-kun! Where Iruma grew a giant sakura tree at the school.

This gave me an idea to do a similar scenario like this.

Basically, Yuu has an assignment to make a potion to grow a plant, only for them to grow a giant sakura tree from Yuu's world at Japan.

I also headcanon that the TW world doesn't have any sakura tree and has never seen one before. 

I always love sakura trees and wish to see one in person. They’re just so beautiful to look at. 

So I hope you enjoy! I didnt think writing this is hard

(the tree is gonna be like the one in Welcome To Demon School Iruma-kun btw and the tree is gonna be really big. Like tall that it can reach to the main campus' height)

(The tree grew right here at Ramshackle, at that pink doodle I marked)

Like before, please bear with me on this, I'm not good at writing at these types of things.

The characters may not be accuarate to canon, cause like I said, I'm really good at wrting stuff like these. I kinda suck at it. No hate please.

Anyway, read below!

🌸 ≪✦✧✦✧──●◎●──✦✧✦✧≫ 🌸

It was after school, both Yuu & Grim had received an assignment from Professor Crewel. Them & the rest of the class have to make a potion to grow a plant that they envision. Yuu & Grim were outside at Ramshackle dorm with a potted plant, both of them decides to work on it outside in case something goes wrong, they wouldn't their dorm to be broken.

Yuu & Grim saw some of their classmates do the assignment and the end result, half successful while others not so much, but they're still working on it, even Ace & Deuce are still working on theirs. Both Yuu & Grim gave finished up the potion, now all that's left is to test it if the potion works.

While ready to test the potion Yuu was thinking back at they're home world. While Yuu enjoy they're time at Twisted Wonderland, which made they're life better than before, they still felt homesick & missed the things back home. One of the things Yuu missed was the cherry blossom tree that would always bloom at spring back home, or as it is called a Sakura Tree.

Yuu remember watching the sakura blossoms fall down beautifully in the breeze while eating some dango under the trees. Truly was a sight to behold for them. Even tho it was spring today, Yuu couldn't help but noticed that there were no sakura trees at NRC, I guess sakura trees don't exist in Twisted Wonderland as they thought of it, since they are from Japan and sakura trees are a common thing where they're from.

Yuu close they're eyes and thought about the sakura trees back at Japan, envisioning them & remembering the days where they would alwyas watch the Sakura fall with their mother and taking pictures of the view. However unbeknownst to Yuu, they were holding the potion both them & Grim finished and the potion spilling while they were envisioning the beautiful trees

"Henchman! Snap out of it! The potion is going to spill!" Grim yelled out to them

"!!" Yuu suddenly snaped out of and realizing they were holding the potion while they were in a daze.

But before Yuu could react the potion has already spilled in the pot, all of the potion. Yuu was worried what's gonna happen but for some reason. Nothing was happening.

"Eh? Nothing's happening? Did we did the potion wrong?" Grim asked confused

"I'm..I'm not sure?" Yuu replied in confusion

But then a few seconds later the pot started glowing really, really brightly than the ones they had seen, which left Yuu & Grim surprised as they were confused of this was suppose to happen or not. And then all of sudden an earthquake had erupted.

"Fngah?! W-what is happening?!" Grim exclaimed confused as hell as he climbed up on Yuu, who was startled by this

"I don't know."

And then all of sudden something has caught them as Grim begin to scream as they started to ascend higher and higher. Yuu can't help but look down as they kept ascending higher and looked on what's holding them, which wad a tree branch.

Meanwhile, the NRC students also felt an earthquake as they felt the ground shaking as there was panic, while the dorm leaders are telling them to calm down and evacuate calmy. But then moments later it stopped. But then they all noticed a giant tree at a distance.

Crowley was in a staff meeting & he also felt the earthquake shake and so is the rest of the staff. And then stopped moments later. Crowley was worried about the damages that the earthquake cause until Crewel spoke up looking out the window.

"Dire, compose yourself. I think we found the source of this Earthquake"

Crowley saw the rest of the staff looking out of the window as he went over the window and look out and there he saw a giant tree, that has reached almost to the top of the school that they can still see a trunk from where they're seeing, with a lot of beautiful pink flowers all over it with petals falling down all over the school. Crowley couldn't help but mezmerised the tree, even taking pictures.

"Oh my, what a beautiful tree has grown here at school grounds"

"It seems like the tree grew near at Ramshackle Dormitory" Trein said noticing where the tree is at.

"Well, we'll have to postpone today's staff meeting and investigate this matter. Let us be off now" Crowley said going out of the room as the staff followed

Meanwhile, Ace & Deuce were on their way to Ramshackle when they felt the earthquake, they were startled by this but they noticed that the earthquake is getting stronger at Ramshackle. They couldn't help but get worried for Yuu & Grim, so they rushed over to Ramshackle and when they arrived the earthquake stopped.

When they arrived, they see Ramshackle is still in good condition which they sighed in relief. But they have to call for Yuu & Grim to make sure they're okay.

"Hey Prefect! Grim! Are you guys okay?" Ace shouted out at Ramshackle, but there's no answer.

But after Ace called out he noticed petals falling down from the sky as Ace took a petal and looked at it confused.

"Huh? Are these..petals?"

"Uhh Ace, you may wanna look around us" Deuce said patting Ace's shoulder as he turned around.

And Ace's face became shock, the same as Deuce as they see a giant tree that has nothing but flowers on it and petals fall down to the ground all over the school through the breeze, even here at Ramshackle.

"Where the hell did this tree come from?!" Ace exclaimed in shock

"I think that's where the source of the earthquake came from" Deuce replied looking at it, looking in awe.

"FNGAAHHH!! HELP US! SOMEONE GET US DOWN FROM HERE!!"

"Huh? Is that Grim? Deuce said as he heard a yell

"It sounds like it's coming from the tree, let's check it out" Ace said as he ran over to the tree.

As they go under the tree, they look up and their eyes widened as they see Yuu & Grim on top of a tree branch. Yuu's clothes got stuck on the branch and was hanging on (Like Clara) while looking around, they weren't expecting to grow a sakura tree here, not to mention the size of it, may it’s because they poured the entire flask of the potion and not half of it or even a drop. And Grim is on a branch holding on for dear life like he was gonna fall down.

(Why is the image so blurry dammit 🥲)

Later the staff arrived at Ramshackle and they see Yuu & Grim on the tree hanging on stuck on there. Luckily they manage to get them down from the tree safely as they check if the 2 of them are okay, which they are.

Crowley asked what happened, Yuu explained to them that they were doing Professor Crewel's assignment, how Yuu unintentionally poured the potion while they were in a dazed envisioning and remembering home and then the tree grew.

Deuce then asked Yuu what was this tree, cause they have never seen a tree like this before, same as Ace as he couldn't help but admit that this tree is a sight that he can't look away, even Grim asked his henchman that too.

Yuu explained that this tree was from their home world at their country, and these trees would bloom every year during the season of spring. They also stated that they never seen a sakura tree this big before.

Yuu admits that they felt homesick while doing this project, and how seeing the petals fall down really reminds them back home in their world.

And so, on that day, the tree remained at NRC. The students are amazed by the tree, for it's color and beauty when they saw the tree. They all crowded outside of Ramshackle hanging out together under the tree, watching the petals all down as they watch in awe as it looked magical on that day when it bloomed. 

Grim was amazed by it, it was pretty for him that he wants to hang around under the tree more often than going to class, he couldn’t help himself watching the cherry blossoms fall down. Ooh boy, he’s in for a treat when Yuu mentioned that the cherry blossoms are edible and can be used to make food.

The fairies around campus seemed to like the sakura tree. 

The Ramshackle Ghost also like the sakura tree.

🌸 ≪✦✧✦✧──●◎●──✦✧✦✧≫ 🌸

Deuce look at the tree in astonishment, he had never seen a tree this pretty before, he thought that his mom would love to see a tree like this. He’d definitely enjoy cherry blossom viewing. 

Ace just sit under the tree and watch the cherry blossoms fall while eating some snacks with Yuu & Deuce. I mean, viewing the cherry blossoms falling down together with your friends while eating some treats is relaxing and nice, ain’t it?

Riddle is in awe when he first saw the sakura tree and ask Yuu about it. Riddle would definitely be interested in the sakura tea and the sweets using cherry blossoms as an ingredient, which Yuu, along with Trey’s help made and Riddle quite enjoys it. He just found new tea and treats for the next Unbirthday Party.

Trey is quite interested in the sweet treats that are prepared using the cherry blossoms like the Sakura Manju, or Sakura Mochi. Yuu helps Trey in making them. He likes the sakura sweets and now was thinking of introducing his family to these new kind of sweets for the bakery back at home. Trey would ask Yuu for cherry blossoms when he wishes to make the sweets, which Yuu doesn’t mind and lets him take some cherry blossom.

Cater just takes multiple pictures of the tree and post it on Magicam, he finds it so pretty and photogenic. The posts blew up on Magicam, cause a new tree has been discovered at Twisted Wonderland. He quite likes the salted sakuras.

Leona has now found his new napping spot. He prolly would climb up the giant tree to a thick branch and sleep there. Since no one can bother him up there cause it too high to reach lol. Doesn’t really have any opinion on the tree and doesn’t care, tho it is nice to look at for him, he just won't admit it.

Jack finds the cherry blossoms falling vey pretty. He probably would like to do cherry blossom viewing with Yuu & the rest. Jack would pass by looking at the tree with the falling cherry blossoms while out on a morning jog.

Ruggie like the sakura treats Yuu made for him, new pasties for him to try. Ruggie would prolly eat the cherry blossoms like they’re the dandelions he eats And is currently praying to have mercy on him when he found out Leona’s new napping spot is on the giant tree.

Azul finds the tree really fascinating and ask Yuu for the recipe for the food using the cherry blossoms for Monstro Lounge, in exchange of Yuu getting paid with madols. Which Yuu agrees, they writes down the recipes and give it to Azul. It became quite popular at Monstro Lounge.

The Leech twins like the tree and are really intrigued and fascinated by it. Jade would find the tree quite interesting. While Floyd on the other hand, likes the look of the tree, it looks fluffy. 

Kalim is really, really amazed and has starry eyes on the sakura tree, he especially likes the cherry blossoms falling around, it looks so pretty, that he start asking Yuu questions about the sakura tree. He became ecstatic when Yuu mentioned about a festival back at their world that holds parties under the cherry blossoms as they bloom. He'd definitely love to attend one!

Jamil quite likes the tree, something about. He probably would ask Yuu to teach him on making food that used the cherry blossom, since Kalim likes it and wants to try it, and there's a possible chance that Kalim would ask Jamil to make some in the future. Would come to Ramshackle to borrow some cherry blossom.

Vil really admires the tree for it's beauty and the color, the tree has a certain beauty to it. He became interested when Yuu said that the cherry blossoms have an anti-inflammatory property that are great for toning down redness and irritation for the skin. Vil would definitely wants to try the beauty products that have the use of cherry blossoms and tries to make them. 

Rook is constantly admiring the tree and praising it for it's uniqueness, color & beauty. He's complimenting on how this tree is fitting for the season of spring. When Yuh said that the sakura tree represents birth and death, beauty and violence back in their world, he totally agrees with that.

Epel was in awe when he first saw the tree. He couldn't help but admit that the tree and the cherry blossom falling down is beautiful to look at. Epel would do cherry blososm viewing with Yuu & the rest while eating some apples or apple flavored snacks, & try the food that uses the cherry blossom.

Idia is in awe strucked right now when he firat saw this tree. It looked like something you would see in an anime or manga. He is right now researching about the tree.

Ortho is fascinated by the sakura tree and says that it's amazing and how it looked like something from an anime or manga. He's asking Yuu about the sakura tree & uses for cherry blossoms to add in his data.

Malleus is quite surprised by the tree's growth here at Ramshackle, but he's quite fascinated by it. In his years of living, he has never seen such a beautiful tree like the sakura tree. He's asking Yuu about the tree which Yuu answers for him. Yuu mentioned how people would light up the sakura tree and the tree illuminated beautifully in the night, which Malleus use his magic to light up the tree during their nightly meetings and finds it beautiful. He also woukd like to do cherry blossom viewing with Yuu.

Lilia is interested in the tree, a new tree. A tree that grows once a year in the season of spring is quite intriguing. He's interested to know the history behind the tree in Yuu's world. He would like to do cherry blososm viewing, watching tye cherry blososm fall is a sight to see.

Silver likes the cherey blossoms falling, something about it was so peaceful to watch that it made him fall asleep. He can be found sleeping under the sakura tree while animals surround him & cherry blossoms falling around him under tree. Looks like he found a new sleeping spot.

Sebek marvelled at the "newly discovered" tree that grew in NRC. Sebek is yelling questions at Yuu about this tree. Would probably join in with Yuu & the others for cherry blossom viewing with snacks.

🌸 ≪✦✧✦✧──●◎●──✦✧✦✧≫ 🌸

Bonus:

Yuu & Grim had pass their assignment early after the tree's sudden growth here. Crewel gave them perfect marks on it and had allow both of them to rest easy during the day of the presentation of the assignment.

Crowley is quite marveled at the tree & seeing how it made Yuu feel better from their homesickness, he allowed for the tree to stay, and this was a good oppurtunity for him to proudly show off to RSA.

Crewel is quite fascianted by the tree and wonders what kind of products can the cherry blossoms be used for. Trein seems to be interested in the tree, Lucius seem to like the sakura tree.

Yuu bought a porch swing from Sam's shop (don't ask) & ask Vargas to help in installing the porch swing underneath the sakura tree.

Now Yuu & Grim have a porch swing outside of Ramshackle with giant sakura tree, where they can just sit and relax as they watch the cherry blossoms fall while eating snacks.

It truly made Yuu feel like they're at home again.

[sscoutregimentss]

i know we as a collective society believe in gamer! eren supremacy. and yes, this is a good take. however, may i introduce to you: normie/fuckboy/jock eren with gamer/nerd gf. thoughts under the cut (safe for work, pg-13, also slight snk spoilers for season 3 and up!)

see, eren isnt necessarily a fuckboy. in fact, hes very loyal! he doesnt really think that way about any girls or guys except you. but hes popular romantically and had a reputation for sleeping around before he met you (not that theres anything wrong with that but ya know word travels fast across campus). plus, cmon the dude is in a frat, super hot and has a tongue piercing. he cant blame anyone for thinking he is a fuckboy bc he exudes the energy.

you are kind of the complete opposite. you dont really enjoy parties and you keep to yourself. you're a total wreck when it comes to flirting and your kinda oblivious to whenever people like you. you dont have many friends and are a bigger fan of 2d people than 3d.

either way eren finds you so so so cute. he first approached you at one of his frat parties. your roommates convinced you to come after she said that someone (read: connie) had a dance dance revolution mat, but you kinda just stuck around in a corner staring at your cup once you lost them. he looks you up and down-- your outfit was pretty cute, a short plaid orange pleated skirt, dress shirt, orange cardigan and black beret laying neatly upon your head. and your face... he couldn't help himself but try to talk to you. you were really anxious because wahhh scary sports guy you dont know but he was kinda instantly comforting? in a way? and he was freaking pretty. he looked like a final fantasy character--long haired characters were your type. the rest was kind of history.

a lot of people are shocked when they find out your dating bc you two are so different (some people are surprise eren “dates” at all) but no one dares question your relationship when they see how much eren dotes on you. he has so many polaroids of you in his wallet-- from the many arcade dates you bring him on where you decimate him at almost every game, you awkwardly posing in the hentai section of bookstores, or just candids of you being intensely focused on a puzzle in a game. whenever you guys go out to eat and somethings wrong with your meal, he'll send it back (in a polite way, of course, but hes still assertive.) or if you buy like a figurine and its misisng something hes marching up to the cashier stand for you. he always has an arm around your waist or is holding is hand in yours. sometimes you just cling onto his arm and rest your head on it (hes comfy!!!!! and you are always tired) your both pretty clingy, but you get kinda awkward when you two are around people you know so he just kinda subtly holds you as to not make a scene. its nice. hes comfy.

youve got dual monitors, a pc you made yourself, rgb keyboard, the whole nine yards. all your consoles are up to date and you keep a handheld system on you at all times. you spend most your weekends watching anime and movies and tv shows and your shelves are piled high with books and comic books. eren literally does not understand any of it. when you told him you built your pc he goes "you made all those microchippy things? youre soooo smart babe". when you talk about some of your weirder or more complicated animes he nods along but honestly he gets so lost ("so like, lemme get this straight, the kids dad's wife ate his mom?" "yeah but like she was turned into a titan so she didn't realllllly know it was the dads wife, but like she literally walks past this titan shifter so i think she knew." "thats crazy.") and he will never understand the point of otome games when hes literally right there. he actually has a really bad habit of getting jealous of characters you have a crush on but you just find it funny. sometimes he gets an ego boost when they look like him because even if they look like him he is actually real so they can suck it.

hes rlly supportive tho. erens a rlly passionate person and he loves you a lot so he pours a lot of passion into what you do. if you are into esports/fps games hes cheers you on all the time and does all the raging for you ("BABE THAT GUY IS STREAM SNIPING! HES STREAM SNIPING YOU HEY ASSHOLE STOP CHEATING OFF MY GIRLFRIEND" "eren he cant stream snipe me because i dont stream" "oh i thought that just meant cheating"/"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER?" "eren its okay i can just report him" "NO NO LET ME AT HIM IF HE WANTS TO CALL YOU A BITCH I CAN CALL HIM MUCH WORSE" "um guys im gonna mute my mic for a second if you need me text chat") if youre into cozy games he likes to watch you play and gives you ideas on where to put things. like in minecraft he makes you put a second bed for him even though he doesnt play and he helps you name all your pets. you get a little less intense with cozy games so you sit on his lap and he lets his hair down puts his head on your shoulder and points at where you should place stuff. he still rages though? this is eren jaeger we are talking about. ("aw, she wont move to my island." "WHAT? who does that little ugly squirrel think she is? you think youre too good for MY y/n's island? i'll shave your unibrow off. then we'll see what island will want you" "leave hazel alone! shes cute!"/"dude that hamster guy with the glasses looks like armin" "graham? what? armin doesnt even wear glasses" "no no look at it more" "oh shit youre right") rpgs/otome games are kinda a wild card with how he acts. if its an otome game and the character looks like him he is more into helping you out because it reaffirms to him that you find him good looking but otherwise he is just sulking and calling them annoying ("princess y/n... i know im just a servant, but i want to be with you forever!" "pft. get a load of this guy. clingy much?" "its romantic! youre jealous.")

one of his favorite things to do with you is cuddle and watch anime. usually he lies his face on your thighs or chest while watching and you play with his hair or he holds you in his chest and you play with one of his hands while the other goes behind his head. he grew up on some of the classics like naruto sailor moon one piece pokemon and dbz but he never got super into it until he started dating you. you put him on to soooo many good shows (cartoons, anime, and live action) hes both a crier and he is a get-angrier(?). he gets mad on characters behalfs and you have to pause the show so he can rant about how annoying someone is or he feels so bad for someone so he has to take a minute because hes tearing up. he likes slice of life anime because the friendships <3 theyre so wholesome and they remind him of him armin and mikasa but he also likes shounen because it is entertaining to watch fights. he gets really into them actually. he also has this really bad habit of whenever there is a character with no parents or a dead mom he goes "oh same" or "welcome to the club buddy" under his breath. when theres a cute couple in an anime you both like guys get matching keychains of them unless one of them dies because he thinks its bad luck. his favorite animes are haikyuu, your lie in april and code geass.

you are equally supportive of erens volleyball career. you know all the rules because sports anime and you actually find yourself really liking it in 3d as well (it is lacking in bromance and screaming but you let it slide). you go to all his games and he always texts you before his practices. has a habit of kissing you before games and one day after he kisses you go "gg ez win" as a JOKE but then they like decimate their long time rival marley university and get into nationals (is that a thing for volleyball idk sports) so hes convinced its because you did your "gamer magic". now every time after getting his good luck kiss he interlocks your pinkies and you go "gg ez win" and he goes “yes.” because to this day he doesnt know what it means (he thinks googling it is like breaking the magic)

okay im gonna stop while im ahead BECAUSE I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS ALL DAY I MIGHT JUST GO AHEAD AND WRITE SOME ONESHOTS....

[kythed]

“teenage wasteland.” kuroo tetsurou x reader

4:08pm.

“yo,” kuroo says, opening the door quickly after you ring the bell, “you finally made it.” 

“what do you mean, finally?” you complain, kicking off your shoes and slipping inside. the dry heat of his family home’s living room assaults your bare face, a sharp contrast to the december frigidity outside. “you texted me like ten minutes ago.”

“felt like longer,” kuroo says with a crooked grin. “you want something to drink?” 

“water?”

“I kinda meant something stronger, but sure, water,” kuroo says, filling a glass at the kitchen sink. you furrow your brows.

“something stronger? I’m sorry, but last time I checked we were still underage,” you say, and kuroo laughs breathily — it’s almost a giggle, actually. for the first time since arriving, you notice an odd flush in his cheeks. “oh my god. are you drunk?”

“drunk?” kuroo gasps. “no, no. tipsy, yes. drunk, no.” 

“tetsurou,” you scold, reluctantly letting him pull you towards the hallway. “all those big, bad college boys can’t have been a very good influence on you.”

“I’ve had a stash of jack daniels hidden beneath my bed since sophomore year,” kuroo whispers conspiratorially. “those ‘big, bad college boys’ have nothing to do with it. speaking of which — you want some?” 

you shake your head vehemently and dig your heels into the carpet, realizing he’s trying to drag you into his bedroom. despite being kuroo tetsurou’s official best friend of a decade, you’ve never been inside his room before. you’ve never been inside any boy’s room before, actually — you’ve never been much of a rule breaker. 

(you suppose that’s why you and kuroo get along. you’re forever the straight-laced goody goody, and he’s forever the secretly bad, outwardly good honor roll kid.)

“I don’t drink,” you insist, and kuroo loops his arms around your neck. you stiffen. “and stop being so touchy. it’s freaking me out.”

“what?” kuroo says, feigning offense. “you don’t like my hugs?” 

“no!” you say, and he shoots you an exaggerated eye roll. “you’re being weird. I can probably count the number of times you’ve voluntarily hugged me on one hand.” 

kuroo ignores you, choosing to instead pick you up and toss you over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold. 

“kuroo tetsurou, you’d better quit it before I call your mother!” you pound on his back, a little taken aback to feel his shoulder muscles rippling under your palms as he staunchly marches you into his room. “I do not want to enter your disgusting cave of a room, you teenage garbage troll!”

“getting real creative with the insults there,” kuroo laughs, setting you down and backing up against the door to block you from running out. “come onnnnn. I thought we could play a game of monopoly or something. listen to the radio. finish the bottle before my mom comes home and whips my hide.”

you sigh and perch your hands on your hips. “so that’s why you invited me over.”

“no, no,” kuroo protests, crouching to pull a clear bottle of amber colored liquid out from beneath his bed. “I also just vastly enjoy your company.”

“why not just throw it out?” you ask, gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed. 

kuroo’s room is a lot neater than you imagined it would be — navy bedspread tightly tucked in at the corners, vinyl floor completely clear save for a small rug. his desk is probably the messiest part of the entire room, holding an old, chunky desktop that’s covered in post-its with smudged, scribbled notes, ranging from “email prof. miyazawa about missing grade” to “buy mom flowers to apologize for broken mug.” 

there are a couple posters on the wall, too, one for the japanese national volleyball team, and one for some punk-looking band dressed in an overabundance of leather, ripped denim, and hair feathers. 

“this shit was expensive,” kuroo says, gesturing to the bottle before screwing the cap off and taking a long draught. your eyes widen as he drinks down a quarter of the remaining liquid, his adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow. “I can’t let it go to waste.”

“I think you’ve probably had enough of that,” you say, gently twisting it from his hands. kuroo smiles angelically before coming to tower over you. 

“if you’re not gonna drink it, I will,” he says, reaching out to grasp the bottle’s neck. you hold onto it stubbornly.

“you’re clearly wasted, tetsu,” you say. “just let me throw it away.” 

“I may have a small drinking problem,” kuroo says, “but I’m sober enough to know I’m not about to throw away the fifty bucks I spent on that. give it.” 

“no!” 

“yes.”

“nooooo!”

“yes!” 

kuroo tries to wrench the bottle from you, and you spend a solid thirty seconds wiggling in his grasp before finally pulling it away. in an impulsive attempt to keep kuroo from getting even drunker, you bring the rim of the bottle to your lips and chug the rest of the whiskey.

kuroo’s eyes widen, and he guffaws loudly. “that was a lot of alcohol just now.”

you nod, wincing at the acrid taste, unwilling to swallow — the liquid is still swishing in your cheeks. you move to go spit it out in kuroo’s sink, but he grabs your arm.

“do not spit that out,” he warns. “that’s over two hours’ worth of minimum wage salary. I don’t work twenty hours a week in the wendy’s drive-thru just for you to flush it down the drain.” 

“mmmm,” you protest, breathing through your nose. “hrghhhh mmm mm mhm.”

“I have no idea what you’re trying to say,” kuroo says, obviously trying to stifle his laughter. 

you gesture wildly to your face, and then to the empty bottle, and then back to your face. 

for a moment, kuroo wrinkles his nose, and then slowly smoothes out his expression. a small smile stretches across his lips, and he steps close to you. you’re acutely aware of your personal bubble being popped, as well of the fact that he smells strongly of old spice and mango body wash. 

“I’ll do it then.”

“mm?” you squeak in confusion when he takes your chin in one hand and guides your face close to his. you’re not sure if you’re smelling the alcohol on his breath or tasting it on our own tongue. you’ve never been this physically close to your best friend in your life, and you can firmly say you’re absolutely petrified. you shake your head vehemently as he slowly leans down, tilting his head. 

“calm down,” he says quietly, and in spite of yourself, you do. “I’m just taking a drink.” 

then he presses his mouth to yours, and you freeze. oh, shit. 

kuroo wedges his tongue between your lips, forcing them open, and then he sucks the whiskey from your mouth, one hand keeping your jaw open while the other snakes around your waist. your eyes widen just as his close, almost as if he’s enjoying the kiss. slowly, you close yours too, letting yourself melt into him as he keeps kissing you even after swallowing the liquid. 

it lasts for a good ten seconds before you reluctantly pull away, letting your hands rest on his shoulders. he’s smiling, evidently very pleased with himself. 

“what the hell was that?” you say breathlessly, searching his face. 

“I was thirsty,” kuroo says nonchalantly. “and a little drunk. and you’re very pretty, as far as best friends go.” 

you feel like you should be offended, yet you can’t quite bring yourself to be. you’re definitely flustered, though, and a little embarrassed. (okay, a lot embarrassed.)

“I think, um, I think I should go,” you say, breaking eye contact. kuroo raises a hand to stop you, but you brush him off, bounding out of the room to grab your bag and keys from the kitchen counter. “we can talk about this later, okay? you need to go take a nap or something.”

“no, hey, wait —”

but you’re already out the door and in the car, jamming the key into ignition. you just kissed your best friend. or did you? does that count as a kiss? or was that just kuroo being stupid? your mind spins with useless speculations on the drive home, and as you sprawl out on your bed for an hour afterwards. it’s not until later that evening that you check your phone, greeted by a handful of social media notifications… and a text from kuroo.

with shaking hands, you swipe it open, face immediately splitting into a grin.

kuroo: sorry about that

kuroo: ok, not really

kuroo: I’m not that sorry

kuroo: cuz you’re a good kisser

kuroo: a really good kisser

you: you too

you wait for a moment as the three little dots on kuroo’s side pop up.

kuroo: thanks

kuroo: I was still kind of stupid tho

kuroo: my b

you: you regret it?

your fingers shake in suspense as you await his answer, feeling all the world like a lovestruck fifteen year old. you’re a little disgusted to find yourself suddenly crushing on kuroo tetsurou of all people, but what can you say? maybe falling for your best friend is a little cliche. maybe it’s a little overdone. maybe the fact that you kissed him with a mouthful of whiskey belongs in a cheesy teen movie, but you can’t help but find yourself delighted that it happened. 

kuroo: nope. not at all.

kuroo: not at all.

[phantaloon-books]

Things about Tower of Nero that I want to highlight to remember them forever:

Lu being an absolute badass woman, I just love her too much

Piper McClean being canon wlw, she was actually kissing another girl, we really fell in love in october

Chaos being canonically female (just chaos being mentioned as a deity rather than what's below tartarus)

nobody DIED, like no one on the good side at least?? yes plenty of beings have died throughout TOA, but nobody died in TON?? so many died in TLO and BOO, I expected to mourn someone and I didn't have too??! it made me so happy

solangelo. that's it. solangelo makes me happy.

will being incredibly supportive of nico, and instead of stopping him, going with him on dangerous adventures because he doesn't want to leave him alone. also them treating Nico's PTSD for what it is

WILL SOLACE CANONICALLY GLOWS IN THE DARK. HE'S A GLOWSTICK BABY.

also will just appearing at the gates of the throne room, glowing in rage because someone touched his boyfriend (and tried to kill his dad), and him just marching through everyone (everyone else letting him), just to pick up his hurt precious boyfriend and take care of him.

meg McCaffrey got her happy ending. she's baby, she deserves her family and her happy ending. also Lu being the mother and the 12 children being siblings?? that's one hell of a way to tell nero to fuck off and right his mistakes. we love meg.

dionysus being the best olympian after apollo. the duo content we needed, and now will never get

nico mentioning bob and how he wants to go look for him, because he can still be in tartarus

rachel still being a Total badass and hitting people in the eye with her blue hairbrush thus being iconic

meg acting as lester's anchor and only reason why he didn't let go of the ledge, not falling into chaos, is top tier 'reasons why I cried reading', because if you think about it, Meg is the first ever friend apollo ever had, and them being best friends is everything to me

also apollo choosing to go looking as lester rather than apollo because lester feels like home is on top tier 'reasons why I cried reading' too

again, the only thing apollo did in the end (once he was god again) that could be described as 'godly' was be in several places at once, fly his chariot, and get meg her unicorn

but apollo shooting fucking fire out of his hands is crazy asf, it was so cool. he really got amazing godly powers this book.

rick being bold enough to showcase abusive parenting knowing that a huge porcentage of his readers are minors, helping many realize that they could be in abusive households, and giving them a tool to reach out for help

apollo defeating nero was so satisfactory, because you realize in the end, that nero wasn't really a monster, he was monstrous, but still very much human (if only with some godly power), and pretty useless once he couldn't hide behind props and weapons, his being wasn't powerful, he was just under layers of protection

the jackson/blofis scene was so warm and loving, they really are willing to put their family in danger, baby estelle in danger, to help 'percy's friends' even tho she knew percy didn't like apollo, but she still takes in everyone who needs help, and paul being a loving and accepting husband

sally working on her SECOND novel, she really is having her best life

none of the big heroes from other series having protagonism, besides nico and will, instead giving the other kids from camp halfblood their chance to show they're just as worthy as the "heroes of olympus"

(still I would have loved to see a scene with everyone else, like the heroes of olympus guys, fighting together one last time, just for nostalgia's sake - I legit hoped to see percy and annabeth arriving with chiron in triumvirate tower, but yeah)

the arrow of dodona may have been a dumb, cringey, and slightly ridiculous thing at first, and I personally rolled my eyes everytime it said anything, but it knew what would happen from the start, and without its sacrifice, apollo would have achieved nothing. we stan one arrow

nico wearing a white cowboy hat. idky but it makes my heart swell with joy. he a gay cowboy

y'all know I love Apollo's arch, and I just gotta point this out. his trials, his time as lester, started with him falling to earth, and ended with him getting up after purposely throwing himself off the earth, towards tartarus, almost falling to chaos. that's really clever writing.

the olympians watching over him, and some actually being concerned for him rather than his progress.

poseidon not really giving a fuck about the world or council meetings anymore because percy's not there anymore

athena being the only one apart from artemis who trusted apollo could do it makes me warm fsr

lester deciding that the best way to retell his adventures is by singing is hilarious to me, he really thinks it'll solve everything

Grover not telling percy and annabeth jason died seems so funny to me, he really said "nah it doesn't matter much, field trip, yes"

"hey man" my heart broke in twenty million pieces. like I don't know where I expected to see jason. but that wasn't it. and it hurt me as much as it hurt apollo man.

(also I kinda hoped we would see nico summon his spirit or smth, but I'm actually happy nico realized that jason went by his own choice, and he was in peace, so he decided not to summon him, because it was alright. that hurt too)

kinda love how lester passes out after literally every battle. it reminds you that even tho he's apollo, his body isn't. I'm sure we all would pass out too if we did a quarter of what lester did in the span of 4 days. his body isn't made to endure that, it doesn't even have a halfblood endurance, it's a weak mortal body

the trogs were fucking hilarious. their screeches and grrs, idk there's something ridiculous and so childish about them, it's so fun

really happy that apollo never had a /real/ love interest (reyna doesn't count), cause that wasn't what his story was about. instead he got to make so many friends, and have quality time with them and his children, it's amazing

apollo being thankful people were telling him he'd grown, and was more human, because he realized that was the best thing he could have learned from his time as a mortal

also him saying fuck you man to zeus and his speech, like "no asshole dad, I did learn, I'm not going to see this as punishment, it was a great time in which bad things happened but I enjoyed it." yes, we love apollo not letting zeus win

getting to see what everyone will do now. nico and will figuring out rachel's prophecy, probs saving bob. rachel living her best life away from her parents. leo doing what leo does, always helping those who have no one else. the hunters' open storyline about this fox, possibly hinting at content? piper settling down in a quiet life is what she deserves tbh, she's earned quiet life with a cute gf, wish her the best. Frank and hazel being the best praetors, and I bet they will continue to be so. And annabeth and percy, who chose their happiness over all, at last

kinda wish we got to see someone still really miss jason after apollo becomes god again tho lmao like apollo missed jason more than the others, nico and piper being the exception. I mean, leo is fine and dandy, hazel and frank are okay, percy and annabeth are done mourning... I just we got to see any of them really mourning, rather than reading they mourned. it would have made it feel more emotional

the last conversation and the last words in general. "the sun always comes back" and "we're friends now. call on me. I'll be there for you" that shit got me sobbing my heart out. rick really managed to do right by the books and end it like he should have, unlike BOO. he took what made TLO good and used a similar formula. it's very different from "and for once I didn't look back", but it still fills you with warmth and the feeling that even though it's over, it's okay.

I'm just really emotional, this is all I can think about, but you bet I'm gonna add more when I remember

[whenfatecollides]

Thank you for the svt recs! I've heard a lot of them, but I'm excited to have a better playlist and place to start with them ❤️

and re: dc notes feeling different (not my ask btw!), I feel the same way! I think you put it into words really well. I've sorta seen the same thing happen with the other group I follow behind the scenes stuff for, where at a certain point in their careers (and definitely during the pandemic), things became a lot more "catered" to fandom rather than a group of people hanging out and sharing a really unique and interesting experience together.

Things kinda feel more.. celebrity (?) now? Like, it's much more apparent to me in some notes and stuff that yup, they're celebrities (which.. kinda made maison a sore spot for me in a few ways, but that's a different story!). Which, duh, but it felt easier to find moments of just silliness and human connection in a lot of the older stuff, and I feel like that's sorta a thing that just happens at a certain success point, where maybe people have less of a desire to share every part of themselves on camera than earlier days. Which is fine! I'm all for more privacy for them, but I agree that I'd be happy with shorter notes with some moments where they're having fun and being together than curating messages or whatever to the fandom. I'm a fan because I love their music and performances, and I watch behind the scenes stuff because I care about /them/ and enjoy /them/ and enjoy /them having fun together/, not because I want to feel recognized as a fan lol

which is also probably why twitter isn't the place for me either, I go on occasionally but have to dodge/block a lot of the weirdo fighting and possessiveness. I wasn't on twitter until idk, a year ago maybe to keep up with content better and ehh lol I imagine it's a lot more sore to have been part of the active fandom pre-2019 and then to see those spaces you were in (and building) change so fast.

That being said! Gosh! You have really done so much, and I use that masterpost of content probably weekly just to find stuff I enjoy, it's such a huge help! Your gifs are always god-tier, and I enjoy reading your thoughts about dc stuff. If i think of any gifsets, I'll send an idea your way <3 I haven't gotten to see a lot of concert content recently, so I'm excited to go watch some stuff (I heard the Mexico concert was really really lovely in terms of fan energy and what not). I hope you have a lovely day!

I hope you enjoy it! 😊

and yeah exactly, I think in a way the dc notes just started following more of a vlog format which is understandable with everything that went on at the time. I do agree with the celebrity thing to an extent, in vlives and concerts they still feel the exact same, the levels of chaos have remained unchangeable so far asdkjh I do agree that they’ve been passing off that image more on the dc notes tho. but like I said I do think they’re slowly getting back to the old format in the sense that in the group ones at least we’re starting to get more of those small moments again. tbh I haven’t seen the solo dc notes of the special clips or the practices bc it’s all very similar... I think dcc could’ve done better with the release of the special clips themselves, I feel like at this point the momentum has completely died out for the special clips 💀 I get that they wanted to space it out to make the most of the content but idk I think they could’ve done it a bit better. I was really looking forward to the solo clips back in the beginning of the cb but that was in march/april? and it’s now july and not all of the special clips are out yet........ I think they dragged it out a bit too much specially considering that the first one was released two months ago already :/

but yeah tbh abt twitter I’ve never been that active there, it’s always been a platform that has never really resonated with me much but even then the change has been really felt, but oh well. I’ve come to make peace that if some content is truly important it will reach me one way or another asdkjh

and I’m glad the masterpost is helpful! I’ve been meaning to update it but the motivation for it has been a bit lost on me :’) still thank you for your kind words <3 I really appreciate that some of you take the time to read the things I put on here sometimes 💕

[sub-hoshi-enthusiast]

ahhhh can you do minghao(svt) cumming from getting spanked,;!&:£)):?44) please👀

Here you go! It's a little short and the ending is kinda bad but I hope you like it anyways 😅

⚠️Warnings⚠️: sub!Minghao, fem!dom!Reader, spankings, mommy kink, degradation (just a little bit tho)

Punishment

Words couldn't describe the anger that flowed through you as you took in the sight in front of you. Minghao was almost always your good boy; he never talked back or even thought about breaking your rules.  That's why you were a little surprised to come home to see your boyfriend desperately thrusting up into his hand while the other one covered his mouth to try and muffle the moans flowing from his lips. You stood still in the doorway way for a minute, shocked. A glare took over your features once you finally snapped out of your trance and you slammed the door closed behind you, alerting him of your presence. His hands immediately flew to his sides, grasping the sheets beneath him and trying to cover himself up.

     "M-Mommy! Uhm, y-you're home early." You scoffed, marching over to where he sat. You combed your fingers through his hair and yanked his head back, forcing him to look at you. 

      "What the hell is this? You know you aren't allowed to touch yourself without my permission, so what made you think this was okay?" He whimpered as your grip his hair tightened, fidgeting in his spot.

     "I-I was gonna wait for you but i-it hurt mommy~" He whined, pulling down the blanket slightly so you could see his raging red cock. You faked sympathy with a small pout on your face.

     "Awww, can my baby not get off without mommy anymore?" He whimpered loudly, nodding as best he could. Your pout turned into a scowl. "That isn't my problem. You could've called me and I would've helped you. Instead, you decided to be a little slut and tried to get yourself off; how well did that work out for you?" His face was beet red once you let him go, eyes falling to the sheets beneath him in embarrassment. He looked over at you as the bed dipped beneath your weight, curiosity and confusion in his eyes. "Come here." He whimpered at the harsh tone of your voice, slowly crawling over to you. Once he was close enough, you pulled him so he was draped over your lap with his ass in the air. 

     "W-wha- mommy, no! I-I'll be a good boy, I promise! Won't ever touch my pathetic little cock without your permission again!" He cried once he had realized what you were doing. Minghao had never liked the thought of any punishment, but whenever you had to give him one you always chose edging or overstimulation. He always made sure to avoid spankings because he was fairly sensitive and preferred when you babied him, so dealing with pain was never really his strong suit. This time, however, he had gone too far. You had decided that if this won't teach him a lesson, nothing will. 

     "You're gonna count out loud for me, if you miss one we'll start over." You ignored his whines and disapproval of the punishment you had decided, landing the first slap to his ass. The contact made him lurch forward, setting his hands on the floor to steady himself as pain ripped through him. 

     "O-One." He muttered, ears a bright red from embarrassment.

     "Louder slut." You demanded as you landed another slap on the other cheek.

     "Two!" He cried, startled as the pain made his dick twitch against your leg.

     "F-fourteen!" He whimpered, clawing at the carpet as he unconsciously bucked his hips into your thigh. You stopped for a second to massage his bright red skin, watching in amusement as he tried to get as much friction as he could. You had noticed his movements earlier and had chosen to ignore them; you could also feel the precum staining the side of your jeans, soaking through the material. You slapped his ass again, making him drop his head and keen. You waited a few seconds before tutting at him, grabbing his hair to make sure he listened to you.

     "I didn't hear a number there baby." He whimpered, desperately trying to think of the last number he said. 

     "U-uhm - s-sixteen?" You let out a sigh, shaking your head in disapproval. You pushed his head away as you let go of his hair, making him whine and wriggle around in your grip. 

     "I'm gonna need you to start over baby." You sighed, voice laced with disappointment.

     "No! Mommy I'm sorry! Really really s- AH!" You cut him off with a harsh slap to his ass, forcing the tears that had been building up to finally roll down his cheeks. "O-One."

     He continued to sound out every hit as you had instructed him, openly moaning every time your hand met his bright red skin. Tears and drool covered his face as his precum stained your jeans. He finally sobbed out nineteen, his dick incredibly hard and bright red as it helplessly twitched against you. He was almost pleading for you to stop, squirming away from your touch. He cried out a mantra of 'I'm sorry' as you readied your hand to give one final hit. He stiffened as you spanked him, letting out a pornographic moan as his cum stained the side of your leg. Your jaw almost dropped in surprise as he humped the side of your leg to ride out his high, not expecting him to cum so quickly. He eventually stopped his movements, sniffling as he tried to calm down. You finally snapped out of your shocked state, looking down at your leg as some of the cum dripped to the floor.

     "D-Did you really just-" 

     "I-I'm sorry mommy! I know I'm not supposed to cum without your permission, I'm really really sorry mommy!" He sobbed, looking up at you with watery eyes. You helped him sit up so he was straddling you, holding his face in your hands and wiping off his tears with your thumbs. 

     "No no no baby, it's okay, mommy's not mad, you're okay." You gently told him, repeating your words as the tears stopped flowing down his cheeks. "You alright baby?" You asked, making sure you hadn't hurt him or made him uncomfortable in any way. He nodded his head as he buried his face in your neck, muttering a quiet 'Yes mommy'. You let out a small sigh of relief as you pulled him closer to you. Your hands migrated to squeeze his ass, making him yelp in slight pain. You chuckled at his reaction, moving your hands to rest on his hips instead.

     "I'm sorry baby." Minghao playfully glared at you upon seeing the smirk on your face. "Y'know," you said with a small giggle, "you seemed to enjoy that punishment more than you should have." He whined in embarrassment, pushing at your shoulder and crawling off your lap. You let out a loud laugh at the pout on his lips as he flopped onto the bed.

     "I couldn't help it." He whined, refusing to look you in the eyes as you laid down next to him. You hummed in response, kicking your jeans off and pulling him closer to you. Neither of you said anything else as you slowly fell asleep in each other's arms (not to say you wouldn't tease him about it tomorrow because there was no way you'd let him live this down).

[commanderserwin]

Hello! Umm 😶 may I ask for an erwin x reader its an enemies to friends to lovers trope where they headbutts and are against each other during their early cadets years then erwin got promoted to commander and are secretly smug about it but reader knows and shes like yeah right your eyebrows are still hideous but she loves his eyebrows then she learned about erwins dream, about his father... just do you hehehe I just want a strong reader that go against erwin but they end up together 😘

❯ characters. erwin smith x reader

❯ notes. hello! i’m so so sorry this took a lot! i got caught up with exams then my werdsmith undid half of what this was supposed to be (it was supposed to be an angst/hurt/comfort but i think i’m gona draft that fellas 😔 kinda finished tho sigh) but yes! so sorry, i hope you’re still there and this is okay for you! i hope you enjoy, my love ♡ 

hooked.

The enemy. A simple bond of dislike towards each other that has always left the two of you spewing words left and right, demanding from others who is right and wrong, who is better and the best, who is smarter, faster, stronger— all in the midst of training, and in lectures or classrooms, always looking for confirmation that they are the best. People thought that it was just the two of you being kids— the complete opposites of each other, always striving for the best for the attention of the superior officers, and from the instructors.

Even so, that they would always pair the two of you, put the two of you in the same squad, always pushing and pushing to be together to work things out but things would always get tangled and be turned into a mess but would turn out okay.

“That’s not how you do it,” Erwin commented, tapping your solution with his finger. He began to raise his hand to call on to the instructor but you placed it back down. 

“I know, but it works,” you gritted through your teeth, busy with rereading the letters on the paper, as you pushed it to him. “Check it.”

“I don’t want to get a low remark on this.” Erwin grudgingly accepted the paper, hesitating to write his own name together with yours. But he wrote it nonetheless because it works out.

If that was how things were in lectures, it was the complete opposite during the trainings. Erwin would always jump faster than you, taking your point away from you while you lurched on a branch, angrily flailing your arms at him.

“That was my point!”

“Be quick,” Erwin screamed back, smiling while you flipped him off. He would annoyingly go to you, dusting off of his trousers while you marched forward at him, pushing him away.

“Thief!”

Then, while he watches by the corner of his eyes as you leapt to go back to the group, Erwin would shake his head, checking his gear and ultimately following you.

The friend. A simple bond of understanding that the two of you had already grown apart yet together, placing differences away to compromise, to work together and not against, as both of you started to question the use of hating each other when others are disappearing left and right— living with no promise that they’ll see tomorrow’s sun. The wisdom of growing a little older, the hardships of the work, the understanding.

It all started from that one sleepless evening, until you have memorized the lines and breaks on the ceiling, until you have closed your eyes hoping for the sleep to come but it never did. Little did you know, Erwin was also feeling the same thing. So when your paths crossed in the mess hall, both of you looking for something else to get off of bed, you two found each other.

Erwin sat on the table, a dimming candle beside him while his hands were clasped as he was deep in thought. He turned his head around just as you were about to leave, your eyes met his— and there was sadness swirling with the blues you have come to like.

“Can’t sleep?” Erwin asked quietly, looking at you.

It took you a minute to respond, all wanting to leave or to stay, to be with company or to go back memorizing the ceiling as the sun rises. You nodded, gripping the chamberstick as you rounded the table to sit in front of him.

“There is still hot water left, if you need it,” Erwin said, holding the mug before him. “Should I go make you some tea?”

You shook your head, clasping your hands together tightly, thinking if you should be here. Erwin stayed quiet, sipping his tea every now and then, looking out the windows behind your head, and then going back down to look at his mug.

“Are you okay?” You murmured, meeting his eyes as he looked at you. “Is something bothering you?”

“Just thinking,” Erwin nodded, eyes still deep in thought. He looked at his cup, smiling softly. “Just thinking about my father.”

“Oh,” you tapped your fingers on the table, racking your brain about Erwin. All you could remember was how he would animatedly talk of his father, saying his stories— until you perked up, making Erwin look at you. “I remembered he’s a teacher. How is he doing? Does he still teach?”

Erwin dropped his eyes, noticing the grasp he has on the cup. He raised his head, staring at you, and you knew just from one look that his father was gone. It was too familiar because you have gotten used to looking that way towards the families of your dead comrades.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, “I didn’t know... I’m sorry, Erwin.”

“It was a long time ago.” Erwin nodded, finishing his tea while he glanced at you.

Stories. You smiled softly, tilting your head to the side as you propped your elbow on the table. Erwin smiled back, perking up while you spoke to him.

“Will you tell me one of his stories?”

The lover. A simple yet deeper bond of each other, one that has seen the best and the worst, the hate and love, a bond that has called each other theirs— not the way enemies declared each other as nuisance, not the way friends declared each other as delight, but the way amour runs through the heart and brain.

It was a surprise. All the looks and the late night conversations just like before were normal. It was usual to hold each other's arms when walking in the headquarters, a tug on the sleeve, a hand on the back— everything that has become normal throughout the years.

But it was the fleeting glances. It was the smiles that became so much more, the eyes that speaks beyond the languages of being friends, the lips that has touched once— once because of the courage running through your veins as you placed your hands on either side of his neck, pulling him down to place a kiss as gentle as a feather, but the feeling inside was as heavy as all the weight in the world.

Then he pulled away, his eyes reading your face, and in a second, he leaned down— lips upon lips, twice, thrice, four times, as much as time permitted until somebody has knocked on his office door, calling out for him.

"In a minute," Erwin croaked, his thumb running over your lower lip as you stayed pressed against him, arms wrapped around his neck while his eyes stayed glued to yours. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Go on."

Erwin leaned down again, lips touching yours, smiling, as he pecked your lips over and over again until you laughed in his kisses, pushing him away. Erwin wrapped his hands around your body, until he used his hand to hold your chin steady, placing more kisses until you pulled away, a stern look on your face.

"Not on me," you mumbled against his lips, leaning forward but catching yourself as you patted his chest, "You'll be late."

"I can afford to be late," Erwin said, his thumb rubbing circles on your jaw, "They can wait."

"Just because you became Commander you could do whatever you want," you pursed your lips, clasping your hands behind his neck. Erwin raised his brow, a knowing look on his face, "Don't be too smug about it, Eyebrows."

"I haven't heard that in a while."

"Time to bring it back then," you nodded, brushing his brows as you pushed him away gently, turning him around to push him towards the door, "Okay, go on! Now!"

"Trying to order your Commander around?"

"Go, Eyebrows, or I will kick you out," you pulled him towards you, wrapping an arm around his back, dragging him outside but he was persistent.

Erwin looked down, smiling at how flustered you were, tinge of blush on the apples of your cheeks as you tried to look angry but the soft look on your eyes were telling a different story.

"I could stay."

“No.”

“I could, really,” Erwin placed his weight down, a hand coming up to the door as he looked at you. “I don’t mind.”

“Erwin...” you warned, taking his hand off of the door. “Get out.”

“Why?”

Erwin raised his brows, tapping his fingers on the door while you exhumed feign anger, caught in between wanting him to stay or to leave, and wanting to go towards him or the opposite way because... you just couldn’t handle being too close to him ot else you’ll lose your calm composure.

“Fine,” Erwin mumbled, slowly dropping his hand but you caught it in quick.

“No!” You hurriedly say, raising your hand at him, heart beating so fast that it made you feel so warm, “I mean, yes. Go.”

Erwin nodded, a smug smile forming on his lips as he shook his head in awe for what a flustered mess you were before him. He only realized that when he was about to step out, he felt a slight tug from behind only for you to notice that you were holding on to his shirt, tightly— until you have let go, scurrying past from him as you left him the door dumbstruck, unsure of what he should do next, but knowing fully that he wants to follow you.

Take his steps again as it lead him to you. He would gladly take all your screaming and scheming back when two were cadets— the deemed enemies of the Corps. He was thankful that because when he couldn’t sleep from thinking of his father, he has met you— his father acting like a string to pull the two of you together. He was grateful for the courage you had in you that resulted to the kiss— kisses that he found looking for more. He followed your hurried footsteps like a lost puppy while you repeatedly looked back with a frown on your face, as the distance between the two of you came into nothing as your shoulders brushed upon each others.

Looking straight ahead, you hooked your finger on his little finger— pinching his side as Erwin tried to lean down but you gave a him look, which caused him to straighten up, taking your hand whole in his own.

"Later, then."

[thewhizzyhead]

HELLO SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED MISFITS AND SOME OF YOU GUYS LIKED GRADE 11 (i posted about that musical draft thingy back in march and um yea there have been a lot of changes fjxjf) AND GUESS WHAT DUDES I HAVE MORE MUSICAL CONCEPT SHITS TO RAMBLE ABOUT BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS WAY TOO HYPERACTIVE FOR MY OWN GOOD SO SIT BACK, RELAX AND ENJOY THIS CLUSTERFUCK

@ari-is-anxious have fun with this and i wish you the best of luck in trying to comprehend this-

+ Kasaysayan (which means History) - this is the 2nd musical concept thingy i made (the first one being Misfits) and yea i started thinking of this went I was 14. I kinda wanted it to tell a story of like the entirety of philippine history as narrated by students and i wanted to kinda emphasize how history has many faces and how many different factors essentially blur our perspective of what we view as the past. I also wanted to like draw parallels between what our ancestors have experienced and what we currently experience esp when it comes to sociopolitical and economic stuffs and I wanted to like correct a lot of misconceptions about ph history and provide more insight and info about ph's past (i.e how centuries of colonialism have affected our current culture and overall social mindset esp in regards to our want for validation from foreigners aka the whole #PinoyPride thing; how even though activism and revolution is like the main reason on as to why the Philippines even exists, it continues to be demonized here; the ideologies of some of our revolutionary heroes and presidents and why some of them are dicks; etc etc). Also I wanted to showcase like um PH music, art, and dance and how that has progressed and also regressed throughout the years (*shakes fist at colonizers*) and um YEA YOU CAN SEE WHY I EVENTUALLY AND RATHER QUICKLY DISCONTINUED THIS TJCJSJF THIS IS *NOT* DOABLE AT ALL THSJFHF it could work as a concept album and a one-time performance BUT NOT LIKE A LEGIT PRODUCTION SO YEA FOR NOW IT WILL STAY IN THE DRAFT FOLDER FJXNSJF but yea this idea then led to the next two ideas woo

+ Noli/Fili - started wanting to make this at the start of quarantine so like um march 2020 heck i even made a wholeass word doc for this fjdjdv so it's basically a ph-rock-rap-based musical adaptation of Jose Rizal's Noli Me Tangere (Touch Me Not) and El Filibusterismo (The Filibuster) (yes these two novels are like tne national novels here since rizal is our national here and yea these were originally written in Spanish) but the protagonist of El Fili (Simoun) takes charge of telling Noli's story in Act 1 while Noli's protag (Crisostomo Ibarra) takes charge of telling Fili's story in Act 2. Those two books have very different tones and those two characters have um VERY DIFFERENT world views so i thought it would be interesting to tell one's story through the eyes of someone different and yet also the same to provide a lot more insight on how the events in the novels affected these two protags (there is a Good Reason for this and um Filipinos who studied this in 9th and 10th grade know what i'm talking about fhshf if u wanna um know what i'm talking about and don't wanna read the novels (they are very long) i suggest looking up El Filibusterismo and um yea check out Simoun fjsjf). Like for example, there would be times that Noli's narrator (Simoun) (whose general demeanor is like um a lot more cunning and cynical and a lot more resentful of the events that have happened compared to Fili's narrator) would directly question the Noli protag's (Ibarra) actions while Fili's narrator (Ibarra) (he is a lot more um hopeful and peaceful compared to Simoun) often questions how Fili's protag (Simoun) turned into well um a very cynical and cunning person with a taste for revenge (I am trying my hardest to NOT spoil the novels here gjdjf) and yea because the story is set in Spanish Colonial times here, i wanna focus more on the sociopolitical aspects and problems in the novels and how those still remain relevant here, hence the ph-rock-rap-based music. Also I would like to point out that the curriculum here barely like goes into depth about the subject matter of the novels (esp the sociopolitcal parts) and how said subject matter shaped the characters here and HOW EVERY SINGLE THING IN THIS DAMN NOVEL IS STILL RELEVANT,,,so um basically the curriculum is currently missing the entire point of the novels since Rizal wrote these two with the intent to provide socioecononic and political commentary on the pure shit that many of the Filipinos experienced under Spanish colonial rule,,,SO THIS THINGY IS BASICALLY MY MIDDLE FINGER TO THE CURRICULUM AND ESSENTIALLY MY ATTEMPT TO SHOW MORE OF THE NOVELS COMPARED TO WHAT HAS BEEN TAUGHT TO US FJJSJFV this is gonna be a nightmare to write tho cause wow those novels are jampacked

+ Patron - if this ever becomes a thing, I will consider it the greatest thing i'll ever write gjcjdbc I REALLY WANT THIS TO BE A THINGY AAAA so the plot is barebones atm but it's basically about journalism and activism here in the Philippines (and how both can get you killed fjjsjf i'm not kidding these two can legit get you killed wah redtagging sucks shit and the anti terror law can suck even more shit) and how the youth are expected to be purveyors of the country's advancement and improvement despite the fact that our voices are oftentimes dismissed and even permanently silenced when what we say goes against what those in power want us to say,,,those this is basically Misfit's spiritual successor fjxjdjf both of those musicals share similar themes fjxns so yea expect me ranting about a lot of political stuff here and a lot of talking about the ideologies of past and present politics and revolutions and how those affect the masses and how the masses can shape them in return. There will also be talk on how journalism's role in shaping society and how proper dissemination of information and lack thereof can affect people's mindsets aND HOW JOURNALISM IS OFTENTIMES MANIPULATED TO MANIPULATE PEOPLE'S MINDSETS (STUDENT JOURNALIST AND ASPIRING PROFESSIONAL JOURNALIST'S RANTS GO BRRRRR YEA I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT).

Oh and also this musical is heavily inspired by both the noli and el fili novels and by spring awakening (Everything I Write Will Be Inspired By Spring Awakening dbjxd) in a sense that Act 1's active protagonist (who then becomes Act 2's passive protag) is named Elias and is based on both Elias from Rizal's novels and on Melchior Gabor (which is funny cause rizal's elias is NOTHING LIKE MELCHIOR GABOR SO UM LOOK IT'S GONNA BE HARD TO EXPLAIN JUST UM YEA IT'S MESSY) while the passive protagonist (who becomes the active protag by the end of act 1 and throughout the entire 2nd act) is named Cris Ibarra and is based on Moritz Stiefel and Rizal's Ibarra (more specifically um Rizal's Ibarra's growth into a very different character throughout the events of the two novels).

ALSOOO there is this one concept that made me really REAALLY want to make Patron an actual thingy and that is the existence of um Shadows in the show. Inspired by the voices in Deaf West Speing Awakening, these Shadows can always be found lurking on stage alongside their respective characters like um if Elias is in a scene, his shadow can also be found on stage somewhere. I kinda want them to like represent the characters' innermost thoughts and the other parts of themselves the characters' would like to hide through how the Shadows act on stage and um yea choreography gjsjf Patron is porbably gonna be very dance heavy so um yea it's a bit hard to explain so i'll just point to Alex Boniello and Daniel Durant's Moritz fjxjjf i kinda want it to be like that. The Shadows would be part of the show's ensemble and um yea lots of dancing and prop moving woo also at times they would be singing for the character they are assigned to like um while Elias would be in the middle of doing something on stage, his Shadow would be the one singing in his stead and when his Shadow sings, that's when the character becomes the most vulnerable to the audience because the Shadows often expose their characters' thoughts and worries to the audience that the characters themselves wouldn't really express. So like um the Shadows address the audience a lot gjxjsjd except for one aka Ibarra's Shadow. Instead of addressing the audience, Ibarra's shadow addresses IBARRA directly, often questioning Ibarra's actions (especially their hesitance in Act 1). ig ibarra's shadow is rather representative of what Ibarra would turn into in Act 2 when they take over as the Active protag. But um Ibarra's shadow still questions Ibarra frequently esp in regards to their risky actions so um yea Ibarra's shadow is kinda like the Fates the hadestown wherein they serve to sow doubt but over here Ibarra's shadow is meant to symbolize how insecure they feel in regards to their decisions which well, as the protag, make and break the show. Also um yea the rest of the characters' shadows also start addressing their characters more while the characters themselves start addressing the audience more so woo switcheroo! Also the dynamic that the characters have with each other is similar to the dynamics between the kids in Spring Awakening wherein they are just kids (well in this cause young adults aged 18-20) trying to figure out life in general and all that so woo

(also I would like to note that I really want Ibarra's role to be open to all genders in order to like make a statement that anyone can grow into the character Ibarra becomes throughout Patron but rn hmm i'm still thinking about how that will play out especially given that I kinda wanted Patron's Ibarra to have two love interests here aka Elias and Clara (kiiiiinda based on Maria Clara aka Ibarra's actual love interest from Rizal's novels but um YEA THERE ARE A LOT OF DEVIATIONS GJXSF) but tbh i'm still figuring out a way to make Clara have a much larger role here in terms of pushing the plot cause rn the Elias and Ibarra dynamic have an advantage since um active-passive protagonist switcheroo so I'm kinda thinking of a way to make Clara a secret 3rd protag that is both an active and a passive one? I dunno fjsjd honestly i'm still trying to figure out what Maria Clara represents in the novels cause I know for certain that Rizal did not write her to be a mere demure love interest so um yea WORK IN PROGRESS AND UM ALL IN ALL IBARRA CAN BE PLAYED BY ANY AND ALL GENDERS AND IBARRA IS PANSEXUAL BECAUSE I FUCKING WANT THEM TO BE GJSJJF)

+ Grade 12 - OKI SO LIKE I'VE POSTED ABOUT THIS BEFORE BACK IN MARCH BUT UM I'VE CHANGED SOME STUFF GJXJJD so anyways Grade 12 is well um designed to be a campy-please-don't-take-this-seriously-this-is-just-for-laughs-and-gags musical about 12th graders (i changed the grade to raise the stakes) that makes fun of Filipino TV tropes esp when related to teenagers while also providing a lit more insight on ad to what teenagers go through on a daily basis in terms of trying to grow into the person they want themselves to be while also trying to change to adapt to a world that more often that not goes against them. So yea it's not as heavy as the other musicals, heck I designed this after Preston Max Allen's Carrie 2 musical (dude check it out it has jenny rose baker and it's gold) so woo funsies but i also like this to mean something. Oh and also this is basically me ranting about Everything Wrong In The Philippine Education System (how it more often than not is really detrimental to the students' personal wellbeings through constant overwork and disregard of physical, mental and emotional health issues, its accessibility issues esp the issues experiences by those of the poorer sectors, the um very outdated info at times, how the system perpetuates classism and a shit ton of very detrimental social hierarchy bullshits esp through the implementation of the star sections (speaking as someone who's been in the "lower" sections and has also been in the star sections, I HAVE A LOT TO RANT ABOUT THIS ONE OH BOY FUN FACT I WANTED TO MAKE AN ACADEMIC PAPER ON THIS BUT MY 10TH GRADE TEACHER WOULDN'T LET ME) etc etc) plot is mainly barebones atm but um yea here are some of the updates to the characters: Kyla (formerly named Kate), Noel and Ella haven't changed that much but um I've decided to give the Halos Lagi Nalang number to Kyla and Max (nonbinary student that serves as a foil to Kyla in which Max is constantly being denied opportunities that they want while Kyla constantly refuses opportunities that Max wants; also yea i'll be talking about stories that trans and nonbinary students have experienced in both of my high schools through Max cause i really wanna bring attention to how the trans and nonbinary community is really being shat on despite the um sliiight improvement in the way schools treat the (cisgender) members of the lgbtq+ community; also they are just as ambitious as Ella (i envision her to be like um Draft Eva + Riley jfhdf) um yea major plot pusher woo I'd compare them to Draft Eva + Reese but um I Sincerely And Solemnly Promise To Not Screw Them Over In Act 2 fjjxfj) instead because they will be the ones with queerness being a much bigger factor to their individual plotlines compared to Noel and Ella.

The other main characters are um Marco (typical jock dude who's actually one of the more philosophical and introspective characters in the show; i want to like um highlight the whole sports scholarships debacle, how stereotypes can affect how people are treated in real life and also touch on the machismo culture that's um really being enforced here esp with him being an athlete and all; also he's really good friends with Max and through that friendship he learns that him slightly questioning his sexuality is a good thing so yea), Ruben & Lexi (i don't have that much planned for them atm because woo barebones plot but i do imagine them to be initially framed as the more antagonistic characters and have that like stereotype be taken apart as the show goes on esp considering that both are in the "lower sections" and are um more prone to stereotyping) aND A NARRATOR CHARACTER HMMM WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THIS BEFORE GJXJD oki but this Narrator (can be played by any gender as long as the actor IS VERY FUNNY LIKE COMEDIC TIMING IS A *MUST*) is based on the Narrator in PMA's Carrie 2 but I also want the narrator to be like um more crucial to the plot as the story progresses esp as they interact with both the audience and the characters a lot more so like um it's a bit hard to describe their exact role here because um BAREBONES PLOT FJXJD but altho they can't directly affect the story they are telling (cause so far my plan for them is like um they were a former classmate of 7/8 of the characters here but unfortunately they died due to a car accident), they can and do indeed influence the characters in it and all of the characters (except Kyla) know who they are (especially Ruben) so um yea. Also the solo I have planned for them is called Live On (which is um yea a spin off of Move On fjxjd) and through them, I plan to explore the tragedy of unexpected deaths and what happens to those left behind (this will be based on observations and accounts from many of my former schoolmates) and how many have yet to move on and how they choose to live on despite of that because they know that's what their former classmate, schoolmate, and loved on would've wanted.

SO OBVIOUSLY I OWE GRADE 12 TO SIR PRESTON MAX ALLEN GJXJFJD THANK YOU PMA FOR ONCE AGAIN INFLUENCING MY WORK WOO

+ Concepts - oki so this is the only musical so far that i wanna write solely in English nfjsj so this is inspired by Fun Home in which there are like versions of characters in different ages right? Over here there are 2 versions of 6 characters: the 17-18 year old ones, and the 27-28 year old ones. Through them, this musical will explore two main things: (1) the sad and depressing reality of having to give up one's artistic dreams and passions for the sake of practicality and (2) choosing to take a leap of faith and try to grasp on to whatever chances one may have left to live a life that means more than just making ends meet. Act 1 has the teenagers focus on Point 2 while the adults focus on Point 1; Act 2 has the teenagers focus on Point 1 while the adults end up focusing on Act 2. Once again, um barebones plot with even more barebones characters (heck i dont even have NAMES for them gnxnd) but i think it'll be pretty cool to elaborate upon the shitty circumstances here in the ph when it comes to artistic pursuits and how most of the kids I know are terrified of growing up because they don't want to give up dreaming even though that they know that they have to wake up. I also think it'll be cool to point out thay even though that yea situations like these suck, it'll never ever be too late to pick up the pieces and try again cause at the end of the day, life only ends when you say it will end: there will always be chances, you just need to be gutsy enough to grasp them. Also um yea I originally planned to post like a shit ton of poems this month that would basically be the lyrics of the songs that would go into this musical bUT I'M LAZY SO I'M THROWING AWAY THE POSTING SCHEDULE FJXJSJD anyways here r 2 of the poems/songs that i wanna make for this:

+ In 10 Years - a duet between one of the teenagers and their adult counterpart which is um basically the teen singing their optimistic yet really in-depth and mature perspective on chasing Point 2 while the adult sings about Point 1, wishing that they could tell their teen self about how disappointed they will be; i imagine this to be um kinda like the first version of Dear Theodosia but um more intense maybe fjdjf

+ Run - a duet between two teens who are best friends where one girl tries to convince the other to run and play with her in the nearby playground AND YES THIS DUET IS VERY FUCKING GAY JDJSJDF this was um originally part of Grade 12 tbh and it was supposed to be sung by Lexi and it was supposed to be about a 9th grade event that i personally was a part of where um 9th grade student researchers at a research seminar at a different freaking university took over the elementary students' playground when the seminar finished (I SHALL TREASURE THAT MEMORY FOREVER) and um yea it was basically about holding on to your childhood while you still can...aND THEN I UNINTENTIONALLY MADE IT GAY JFJSJSF Lexi is still getting that song about the research seminar event tho but um it won't be Run cause Run basically turned into a song that's not only about holding on to what's left of your childhood but also to the people you treasure that you know you have to leave behind sooner or later and um yea the girl that the one girl tries to convince to go to the playground agrees to that and then boom go duet stylized after 21 and Alone Now + I Don't Care by freaking preston max allen once again woo (i promise that this won't be plagiarism gndnd) (also altho the two girls have to go their separate ways by their graduation, they eventually meet again at the end of act 2 so woo hopeful ending for the sapphics

OKI THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY FHXHSHD THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG OF A RAMBLE GOOD GOD AAAAA SO UM IF ANYONE ELSE MADE IT TO THE END, I ONCE AGAIN WILL SEND YOU A SHIT TON OF CARBONARA-

[satoniko]

anyways i rambled

November was good, i started substance painter work. It was a tutorial but i learned the software and i think that kinda helped a lot even tho i forgot most of it already. It made me understand the differences between the different texture maps that existed and how you can paint onto each for different material effects.

December was 5.4 release, i didn't do anything. January was Savage tier raidng, i didn't do anything. February i continued raiding and i didn't do anything outside of some art jobs for which i got paid handsomely.

March i spent coping with the year long pandemic and the approaching end of my student status. I start panicking over my weak portfolio and that i need a job to sustain myself. i reflected how March 20 was rough due to my bachelor application and I basically lost the entire 2020 on bachelor panic and i came out with very very amateur work in the end. March April 21 is where i started to slowly pick myself up. I started to think what projects i could do, what i needed, but i didn't do my market research as i should've, and i lowkey wish someone would've just smacked my head and put more pressure on me to just get properly started but alas. In April i started building a Maya animation rig for my character. It went semi successful as the character mesh was broken up at many parts which messed up the skinning massively, but the rig itself is functioning and with okay-ish IK handles, facial rig and tail and ear rigs. I could not animate it in the end due to the skinning issues.

My priorities right now is a well-payed solid job position for at least a year or so to build my social identity as atm i am nobody in this society system.

I gave up on becoming a 3D animator at the start of May.

Throughout May played xiv again and enjoyed fanfest a lot. After fanfest i started raiding e12s daily, the hardest fight at the game at that time. I founded a beautiful raid group in the 2-3 weeks we raided together. June i had trouble with my family, i didn't do anything outside of raiding. I started checking the market possibilities more properly but i could not make the connection in my brain between the market and my skillsets. Jobstress continued on therefore. End of June i went on vacation for a week.

July I came back from vacation and immediately started to check my job possibilities. I started writing down what skills i was lacking for job positions with my titles, i started digging out documentations and tutorials on substance designer and blender as a result. I learned the ways of Substance Designer up to a solid intermediate level. I learned the interface and ways of rendering with Blender, up to a simple intermediate level. I found a mass of Material Art resources and source files that i am still digging through step by step every other day.

I was sure I could make it as a Material Artist or 3D Generalist like this, given that my bachelor project was focusing entirely around shader/material creation for artists to use, but it is hard to find junior positions in that area, and my general 3D skills are very limited around Shader/Material Creation and Level Design with a serious lack of fully self-created 3D environments without majorly relying on other 3D model assets.

I was invited to work at 2 other projects during July. One is a project with friends, the other is a realistic UE game project with old industry people that i used to meet when i still worked. I have started another project with a friend to create Unity assets for the asset store in order to get more environment pieces for both our portfolios done. I feel positive about the Unity assets, but insecure about the UE project as my experiences with realistic textures and models is scarce and very much amateur work. However the people in the UE project are industry veterans, and I learn a lot about optimization from them which prompts me to stay. They were also very understanding of my limited time situation which helped massively.

For now I very clearly want to be a technical person in the pipeline, so i figured that stopping my substance projects for now to refocus on UE VFX and blueprint scripting will definitely be a very good skillset to have on my folio

in the end i just wrote this to reflect on the past months that i've lived thru after my horrific graduation. I'm still upset there was no graduation ceremony, no handshaking,no congratulating. I got my thanks from my both professors over zoom and never saw them again, so the transition from student to graduate was very blurry and confusing. I have also spent a lot of time recovering from my stress injury that i've received throughout the past year, which is probably why i've spent so many months just gaming and resting big time. I was not in a state of health to continue on with work these past months, even though i wish i had just never suffered through this type of burnout so i could've entered graduate programs of different studios in time, but alas. It's still very hard for me to keep a routine up, but at least i know my boundaries a bit better now and I try to handle my limit while not disappointing with the volume of work i present as well.

I'm proud of myself for finishing my academic degree even though the skillsets that i truly needed to get a job have only been acquired through the past month or so. I'll try become a tech artist for now and get really good at UE's blueprint and VFX pipeline in order to advance further into this career.

[dillydedalus]

march reading

kinda forgot about this i guess. anyway feat. uh, magical ships, dubious mental health institutions (plural) & a parisian building with 99 rooms. 

the forever sea, joshua phillip johnson (forever sea #1) i firmly believe that more fantasy lit should be set on ships bc ships are inherently a sexy setting & you could have pirates which are extremely sexy. this has ships (and pirates) and also a sea made of grass? a magical plant sea on which ships sail via magical fires, so conceptually i’m very into it all. the plot is fine, but the protagonist kindred has a very bad case of Main Character Syndrome so prepare for mild annoyance throughout. also while i generally enjoy book magic vs wild magic i wish more works would treat them as two ends of a spectrum rather than ~book magic bad and boring, wild magic cool and *~natural*~. but overall i think this series has potential. 3/5

jagannath: stories, karin tidbeck ([partially?] translated from swedish by the author) really cool collection of sff stories by tidbeck, many of which veer into mild horror and some of which are influenced by swedish folklore and especially swedish fey stories. i enjoyed most of these a lot, especially the existential call centre horror story, the ‘god won’t let me die’ one, and a taxonomy of a cryptid that goes a little off the rails. 4/5

annette, ein heldinnenepos, anne weber a novel in verse about anne beaumanoir, a real person who was a résistance member during world war 2 and later supported the algerian national liberation front, for which she was sentenced to 10 years in prison (she escaped to tunisia and later algeria). she’s clearly a very impressive and interesting person & i conceptually enjoyed the idea of writing a modern hero(ine)’s epic, but i feel like the language could have been a bit more stylized to match the form. 3/5

salvage the bones, jesmyn ward (audio) bleak but ultimately hopeful novel about a black family in the days before and during hurricane katrina, although the focus is on the family dynamics, the 14-year-old narrator discovering that she is pregnant, and the kids trying to keep the puppies their dog china just had alive and well. enjoyed this, altho i did it a bit of a disservice but listening to it a lot of short chunks. 3.5/5

regeneration, pat barker (regeneration trilogy #1) set mostly at a military hospital for soldiers with shell shock during world war 1, this novel explores the existential horror of war, psychological treatment (& the horrible absurdity of treating traumatised men just enough so that you can send them straight back to Trauma Town), and the meeting between siegfried sassoon & wilfred owen. i find i don’t really have much to say about it, but it is very, very good. 4/5

how to pronounce knife, souvankham thammavongsa a short story collection mainly about refugees and migrants from laos to canada, many focusing on parent-child relationships and being forced to work in low-paid jobs, often ones that are damaging to their health. the stories are very well-observed and emotionally nuanced and detailed, but with 14 mostly very short stories, the collection as a whole felt a bit samey, which i guess is something i often experience with short story collections. 3/5

faces in the water, janet frame horrifying semi-autobiographical novel about a young woman stuck in new zealand’s mental health system, moving to different hospitals but mostly from ward to (more depressing) ward in the 40s/50s. while there is a shift in attitudes during her stay that sometimes makes the wards more tolerable, mostly the patients are neglected, abused, and the threat of electric shock therapy and lobotomy always hangs over them. 3/5

the upstairs house, julia fine fuck why did i read so many books about mental health conditions this month??? this is another entry in my casual ‘motherhood as horror’ reading project, in which a new mother develops post-partum psychosis & imagines the modernist children’s book writer she’s writing her dissertation on and her poet sometimes-lover haunting her and her child (margaret wise brown & michael strange, who are real people i was utterly unaware of). this does pretty good on the maternal horror front, but i wasn’t entirely sold on the literary haunting. 2/5

1000 serpentinen angst, olivia wenzel a very interesting novel about a woman struggling with grief over her brother’s suicide, an anxiety disorder, the (non)state of a (non)relationship and discrimination/marginalisation based on her identity as a black, east-german, bi woman (while also being, as she notes, financially privileged). much of the novel is written in a dialogue between the narrator and an unnamed (& probably internal) interlocutor, which was p effective for a novel more focused on introspection than much of a plot. 3/5

atlas: the archaeology of an imaginary city, dung kai-cheung (tr. from chinese by the author, anders hansson, bonnie mcdougall) fictitious theory about a slightly-left-of-reality version of hong kong and how maps (re)construct the city, very heavy on the postmodern poststructuralist postcolonial (and some other posts, i’m sure). in many ways my jam. unfortunately my favourite parts of this were the author’s preface and the first part (fictitious theory of mapping alternate hong kong); the rest felt very repetitive and not particularly interesting, altho i’m sure i was also just missing a lot of cultural context. 2.5/5

under the net, iris murdoch .........i liked the other two murdochs i’ve read (the sea, the sea & a severed head) quite a lot so either i was not in the mood for her very peculiar style of constructing novels and characters or, this being her first novel, she just wasn’t in full command of that peculiar style yet but man this was a slooooooooog. don’t stretch out your modern picaresque with an incredibly annoying narrator over more than 300 pages iris!!!! 2/5 bc this probably has some merit & i just wasn’t into it

the impossible revolution: making sense of the syrian tragedy, yassin al-haj saleh (tr. from arabic by i. rida mahmoud) collection of articles and essays saleh (a syrian intellectual & activist who spent 16 years in a syrian prison) wrote from 2011 to 2015, analysing the reasons for, potential and development of the revolution, as well as some background sociological discussion on the assads’ regime. very interesting, very dense, very depressing. wouldn’t necessarily recommend it as a first read on the topic tho. 3/5

angels in america: millenium approaches & perestroika, tony kushner the page to tumblr darling quote ratio in this is insane (”just mangled guts pretending” and so on) and also it just really slaps on every level. also managed to get me from 0 to crying several times. brilliant work of theatre, would love to see it staged (or filmed). 4/5

life: a user’s manual, georges perec (german tr. by eugen helmlé) 99 chapters, each corresponding with a single room in a parisian apartment block; some chapters are basically ‘here’s the room, here’s a long list of objects in the room, that’s it bye :)’, some are short insights into the lives of the people living there, some (the best, mostly) are long, absolutely wild tales that are sometimes only tangentially connected to the room in question. why are the french like this. 61/99 rooms 

sisters in hate: american women on the front lines of white nationalism, seyward darby (audio) nonfiction about women’s role in white nationalist hate movements, mainly based on the stories of three women who are or have been involved with various contemporary american alt-right/racist/neonazi hate groups, while also looking at general social trends and the history of white women’s role in white supremacy. interesting and engaging if you’re interested in this kind of thing. if you’re both politically aware and internet poisoned, it’s probably not much that is completely new to you but still worth reading. 3/5

starting in april i will be Gainfully Employed (ugh) & thus probably not read as much or read even more bc i have no energy for anything else