#even the cyber space levels

[misterbaritone]

Y’know running through the islands and collecting the various music tracks from old games has helped me realize how forgettable Sonic Frontier’s ost is.

[theresattrpgforthat]

How To Find Cool Games: On Itch.io!

As I drift into a reduced posting schedule, I figured I’d give everyone a peek behind the screen for how I cultivate ttrpgs for recommendations! Some of these tips might even help you find your next favourite game.

This is a long read so let's put most of this beast under a read-more. Keep in mind that many of these strategies work best when you're checking itch.io a little bit every week, and when you're engaging with the platform as more than just a store page. There's a lot of features that you can choose to engage with if you want to find the game for you!

browsing physical game recent releases. This helps me see what’s new and happening, and it helps with a number of things. First of all, I get to see new games pretty much every time I browse recent releases. Secondly, I get a good sense of what’s currently popular in the design space. Thanks to my weekly browsing, I recognize Cy_Borg, Shadowdark and Mausritter as games whose content shows up rather regularly - if you see a lot of products attached to one game at once, that’s a good sign that there’s a related game jam going on (in this case, Shadowdark), or that a game is really resonating with its player base.

sorting games into collections. I personally organize by genre, system, player configuration and (in Games That Intrigue Me) games that I’m personally really hyped about. This works for me because of the nature of my work, but a few collections sorted according to level of interest or game style might work better for you.

Depending on the need, I might have a collection that works specifically for the request - Neon Lights & Cyber Nights is perfect for cyberpunk games, but I might also reference this folder for combat, inventory mechanics, resistance themes, or interesting tech rules. LUMEN is great for folks who want fast-paced games, folks who are looking for certain kinds of video games, or folks who want to feel powerful. If you follow other people on Itch, you'll probably also be able to see their collections, which is a great place to browse.

searching game tags. I don’t typically use the regular search feature, although recently the website did update the toggles to restrict your results to physical games, video games, etc. Instead what I usually do is type what I’m looking for into the url: so in this case, [deck-building]. I might use a couple different wordings, such as [deck-builder] and [deckbuilding] (no spaces). You’re not going to find everything that includes the thing you’re looking for, but you’ll definitely find places to start.

Game Jams! I find these either by looking at the “Jams” tab (although you'll have to wade through video games here) or by noticing that a number of games being published recently have the “for the _” jam in the description. Alternatively, I might be reading the page for a game and see the little “Submission” badge in interaction buttons. There’s game jams for specific systems, game jams for various themes, game jams with special restrictions, and game jams that are titled things like “finish your damn game jam.”

Bundles. I typically buy big-ass bundles and then sort through the games in my downtime. These games are sorted into collections for future reference, and if a game really pops out - into the Intrigue Me folder it goes! And the best part is that I already own it, so if I want to learn more, I can just download it and start reading.

following game designers that I like. This way I’ll get notifications if they release a new game, update an old game, rate someone else’s game, or sort games into their own collections. I also get to see what other folks in the space are excited about - on the day I was browsing, Plasmodics by Will Jobst was really hot.

If you follow me on Itch, you’ll get a notification every time I add a game to one of my non-private folders! Also - you can interact with designers on Itch by liking their updates, and even commenting on their posts, which is a great way to get involved in the design community - and also just make a designer’s day!

[robolvrr]

forged to please. ｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

some mild suggestive headcanons. unhealthy dynamics.

sentinel prime x cybertronian secretary

airachnid plucked you from your filing job with unsettling familiarity. you quickly learned after the debrief that her optics, touch and croons were simply an extension of your shared's prime.

his very attention is shattering.

sentinel has no need for actual assistants. your first few cycles don't end up at his doorstep, so in your confusion of servitude you busy with the boring.

analytics. cancelling meetings as he's constant on the surface, rescheduling abandoned polls. when the lights flick you remain obedient at your desk, digits skimming through glass pads.

you do have a cog. however, you still pale in comparison to your coworkers and do not speak out of turn. you're not a miner nor are you cogless — but there are levels to status and you're still at the first couple of rungs on the metaphorical golden ladder.

little did you know, you're being watched. approvingly, even when your helm dares to dip back when your processors prompt recharge.

everyday, you arrive early. place your holopads in neat piles. slip an energon cube from your stack past your cushy, gray dermas and sit straight in your assigned seat.

frame flawless, as expected by a cog. since you don't race or proctor, you're more on the winsome side.

"them? really?"

"yeah. crazy right?" sentinel lazily watches the filmy recording, nestled camera aimed right in the corner. he can see your chassis. your cog and the ridges between your plating. clean. no mining dust. no scratches.

"look at 'em go. do they know that half what i give them is just.. nothing? they're so... so diligent. it's cute, no?"

airachnid shares a sideways glance.

slowly, your office grows more lavish. you notice changes to your desk arrangement. a golden twist of flora at your desktop. new chair, with cushion - a rarity and a treat. a fresh mug of engex earlier than you arrive.

and even slower, your coworkers start to distance farther than even you pushed them. you're being moved around cycles later, to higher floors. the work is a constant buzz that requires the utmost care and attention to detail.

you once question airachnid as she glides by silently just what you're doing here. you ex-vent when she leans forward, pursing her intake at you.

"don't ask questions you don't want answers to. you do good for him, you'll do good for a lifetime."

straightening, you're left unfortunately with more than before and you nervously return to your desk, with a beautiful view of iacon and an inkling that perhaps your constant promotions weren't as perfect as you previously assumed.

[ quota — increased. overtime required. ]

frustration bites as your digits flutter across keys. the office space, grand and empty and dark fills you with impatience. not that you'd dare show it, on the clock.

you guess that overtime still counts, though you prudently knock over data as you arise before you can coach yourself to calmness. you practically live here. serving, serving, all the blasted time. had you not proved your loyalty?

a watchful gaze peers at your aft when you saunter to the lounge, fed up for the day.

the smile directed your way isn't promising.

oh. so you can misbehave.

you practically live at work now. what started as a few assignments seemed to increase tenfold.

you're working overtime but know you're much too high the chain (and for such pointless, needless tasks) to back out.

you have no friends. no coworkers. the pretty knickknacks and golden pens and job security start closing in more like a gilded cage.

when the comm is received, you're almost weak at the joints. you reset your sight system several times at first because you assume it's a prank.

[ your prime requests your presence over the latest report. arrive promptly. ]

you're stumbling towards the elevator like a cyber mouse.

sentinel shouldn't enjoy the way you lose your professionalism. taking peeks in the slivers of mirror and spark no doubt rattling in that little chest of yours.

he shouldn't, in fact, hired you at all. you were a face along with many admirers. and primus, did iacon adore their prime.

he shouldn't have been seeing how much it took to break your mentality, either. a cruel experiment from a bored god of sorts.

and the recordings. airachnid made it clear her opinions of his.... enjoyment while you worked in element.

sometime in the toying, he's scrutinizing your frame. you barely make it up to his knee. your alt-mode upon a curious search isn't particularly flashy.

is that why he's so drawn to you? because you wallflower yourself, determined to hide despite the haven he's forced you in?

perhaps. or, he just hasn't had his fix yet.

the racers are always fun to play with. they lick, bite and rev when he chuckles his praise.

he's never been in a position of power like this though and taken that step over the line and suddenly, he rubs the kibble on his chin imagining you staring back at him, bent over, servos tied at the back of your waist.

his processor wanders. you, with flushed cheek plates. you, calling him boss. prime. whatever he fancied more. crawling towards him, balancing a glass of sweet, high-grade on your aft while he chats it away.

"my prime?"

sentinel does not turn to you, at first. you can see his wings, large and flawless. when he turns in his seat, you think perhaps the rumors of primes and their bright, piercing neons were true.

he grins. grandeur rolls off his glossa and you're shocked he knows your designation. as if he senses your shock he reassures he knows because he's kept close to your progress.

"you look tired. what good are you if not rested?"

sheepishly, your helm tilts away, tries to avoid the observation by curling into yourself. it's the funniest and most pathetic thing he's seen in awhile.

he leans forward, but not down to you. sentinel just invades your space because it's his.

you're his.

cutting off your stammers because he'd rather hear them in a more fitting context - fit, he wouldn't - his gesture tempts you closer. there is no need for collar and leash, not when this whole city dances at his every word.

you miss how his stare bores into you. peels back metal, cord and wire.

"listen. i couldn't bear my best struggling. but i also have to be firm. this great city, all of your fellow cybertronians, play a part in something bigger. which means... that work can't be unfinished."

he does not miss how you flinch. where are those kliks of rebellion? those whispered utterances of his name and hoping he'd be knocked down a peg?

"it can't slow down. in order to keep the spark of this very place alive, we all keep it turning."

he can sense your guilt. recall all the times you've actually cursed quietly, kicked at your desk, cried in the refreshers. cute.

"so i do have to ask. because if you can't handle it, i would rather you tell me right here, right now. no hard feelings."

the hopeful look almost makes him break out into laughter. and just like you're programmed, you look at him only when he nods, trying to find out what he wants.

"no. no, i can. i want to do more. want to be more." for you.

"then show me."

as much as he wanted to crack you open right then and there, he was curious how you would take his offer.

would you scorn him out like those endless nights? step back and make excuses? or would you surprise him?

his weight slides in the crushed velvet of his towering throne, watching as you bend.

your head meets the floor. his optic ridge ticks towards the sky.

"tell me what to do and your will is mine."

the prime hums.

well, now you're just making this too easy.

robolvrr 2024.

[earthstellar]

Earth Music on the Lost Light: Human Music That Cybertronians Like

we know for a fact that the Lost Light has access to human media, primarily movies, TV shows, and music-- and we know they generally seem to fucking love most of it, or at least find it interesting

but what would everyone's tastes be, in regards to Earth music?

time to talk about music for a long time!!! strap in, enjoy some tunes

we already know Cyclonus has impeccable taste and enjoys some of the best jams the 80s had to offer.

I can't help but imagine Rodimus being given a media archive of Earth tunes to approve for the Earth Dance would only result in chaos

(it's not like he would say no to anything, he absolutely blanket signed it all, it's just an obligatory thing-- or Ultra Magnus tells him it is, solely to keep him away from Important Captain Things that he would rather handle himself or hand off to Megatron, lmao. the shit that really needs to get done)

and this is how Rodimus discovers the somewhat questionable yet amazing genre of "mid-90s underground techno rave mix tapes"

(somewhat related, I still think Testarossa might as well be Rodimus' theme song, although it's not a 90s track and has more of an 80s synth vibe)

Rodimus would love that "computers are the future, fuck yeah let's make Digital Cool Future Music" mid-90s shit, there is no way he would not. it has the exact energy level that appeals to him and is also cheesy and weird and chaotic. and has like 500 different sub-genres, so his selection is endless, lmao.

he would probably find it cute that this is what humans imagined to be the peak of "digital sound" at the time. like lmao this was the best humans could do when asked to create music that sounds like it was made by robots or other mechanical space future cyber lifeforms--high concept!!! he would probably find it interesting and endearing. this is what organics think non-organic music is like!!

anyone acting as DJ at Swerve's on any given night would be so, so mad that Rodimus keeps requesting shit like "DJ MASSIMO ITALO DISCO BEST RAVE TUNES LIVE FROM LONDON 1995" or "DJ ARMPIT SLUDGE FEST HOUSE-RAVE-DRUMS N BASS SET 1996" for them to play, lmao

not individual tracks. the whole album. entire mix tapes of random, somewhat questionable mid-90s techno house rave bullshit.

that having been said, that good ass early 90s trance techno might send him into a spiral depending on his mood at the time, lmao (it's been known to happen)

but at the same time I can imagine him sharing tracks like Solar Quest - Space Pirates with Drift and they'd both just sit there and jam out, but quietly, thinking about shit while sitting in a port window next to each other (this was peak sleepover party techno, Back in My Day-- many deep conversations were had while listening to stuff like this, lol)

Drift would probably find some of Rodmus' recommended stuff to be pretty good for meditation-- although once he finds out about the human drug culture involved and certain concepts of experimental consciousness etc. that surrounded techno/rave and other related genres, it might cause him to pull back a little bit

(until he finds out about kandi culture, in which case, Drift would love the idea of hand-made unique bracelets and sentimental trinkets being made and exchanged at warehouse shows purely out of Good Vibes and Love for Fellow Beings and it turns out actually he fucking loves this shit, a chill vibes based "expand your mind" kind of music subculture appeals to his Spectralist sensibilities and he likes sharing tunes with Rodimus in return)

Drift picking tracks on his own would likely lead him down more of a classic rock road, but more of the chill side of things, more of the folksy type of classic rock -- I can see Drift really enjoying Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum or California Dreamin' - The Mamas and the Papas. or like, Incense and Peppermints - Strawberry Alarm Clock.

I mean, Drift might even go Full Earth Hippie and end up liking Green Tambourine - Lemon Pipers, lmao. in fact I am fairly certain of this.

I can see Drift loving Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In - The 5th Dimension. the whole vibe would probably appeal to him.

he'd quite possibly also like I Need a Dollar - Aloe Blacc, but it hits him in a place that still hurts to think about. so it's in rare rotation.

meanwhile Ratchet would probably be fine with classic rock too, like the good Dad Rock shit, just a lot of tracks from the 70s/80s -- a couple tracks he and Drift could probably agree on would likely lean more into the experimental/psychedelic rock side of things, like White Room - Cream or something like Wheel in the Sky - Journey

Rodimus tries to troll Ratchet by recommending Old Time Rock n Roll - Bob Seger, but joke's on him because it turns out Ratchet loves it, lmao

Swerve would go all out on classic bar jams for the evening playlist. Chill, good shit like Do It Again - Steely Dan.

Megatron would love Sinnerman - Nina Simone; He'd send it to Drift in a command crew level secured data packet, and they would both feel the hell out of this song. They don't need to talk about why. They never mention it to each other.

Megs would also probably love These Old Bones by Dolly Parton (mostly due to the lyrics, rather than the upbeat tune, but he would find it relatively relaxing), as well as 9 to 5 (of course), and similar music. Country from back in the day when country music was more about the struggle of poverty and the working life of rural people. Country music from back when songs told all the untold stories. He can respect that.

He'd listen to You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive by Patty Loveless and it would get him right in the fucking spark. Megatron is the Cybertronian equivalent of an Appalachian miner, god dammit. He understands.

Megatron would also like Johnny Cash; He would overthink Ghost Riders in the Sky and it would depress him, partly because it reminds him of Seekers... sigh.

I think he'd also like Cold War - Janelle Monae. He'd be way into good lyrics; What's being said in a song matters most to him. "This is a cold war, you better know what you're fighting for..." Indeed.

anyway I like thinking about what jams Cybertronians might like from their available selection of Earth tunes

[tailschannel]

Balance and difficulty adjustments featured in latest patch for Sonic Frontiers 3rd post-launch DLC

The third and final post-launch downloadable content update for Sonic Frontiers has received a significant patch late Wednesday.

Released to all major platforms, version 1.41 of Frontiers included several bug fixes, balancing patches, and movement improvements for the last content update of 2023, "The Final Horizon."

Here are the official patch notes, courtesy of SEGA of Japan:

Made Balance Adjustments to Easy Mode

Trial Towers: New level designs have been added.

Towers of the Master: The default difficulty and Sonic's attack level have been adjusted.

Master King Koco's Trial: Your maximum Ring capacity and the health of each Titan have been adjusted.

Made changes to some of the controls for Amy, Knuckles and Tails

The parry window for perfect parries was adjusted to be more forgiving. (The window will be extended even further when playing on Easy.)

Knuckles' maneuverability during gliding has significantly increased.

Adjusted the stats of some special moves for Amy, Knuckles, and Tails after leveling them up

The attack and defense of certain special moves for Amy, Knuckles, and Tails after they level up have been increased.

Made it Easier to Retry After a Game Over

The pink panels in the Trial Towers will respawn after a certain amount of time has passed and you are a certain distance away.

If you make a mistake before a Cyber Space checkpoint and you have to restart from the beginning, the timer will now reset so you don't need to manually restart. (Excluding Cyber Space Challenge)

Various bug fixes, including the issue where audio would not play during sub-events, have also been addressed.

[phantoms-world-and-more]

I like the feral Casper High students trope. So Danny is a senior in High School and his job as a hero is not really needed any more. Amity Park is much more at peace with ghost now. Something happens to Vlad (maybe he fades, decides to go on a very extended vacation to find himself outside his obsession with Maddie, gets locked up by Walker, etc). Danny inherits Vlad's billion dollar company. At first he doesn't want it but then he starts thinking about starting a space program. He can't be a NASA astronaut due to his ghost side not passing normal health levels. But if its his company then he can make the rules and get to go to space. He doesn't want to run the company just focus on his space stuff so he gets his classmates in on running the company. Paulina and Star become the CEO and COO. Valarie is Chief of security with Kwan and Dash as her right and left hand. Tucker is head of R&D, with Sam in charge of charity work. He even gets some ghost to work for him, Lunch Lady is in charge of the staff cafeteria, Techinus is in charge of cyber security and Box ghost is head of shipping. So you have a bunch of 17-18 years olds running a billion dollar company and they are bulldozing the completion with how competent they are.

I love this

[croxot]

MORE Armored Core 6 Thoughts - The Corporate Military Leaders

After coming to the conclusion that Armored Core is my game of the year, I've been thinking needlessly deeply about many little bits of the game. I wanted to put some thoughts out there about the Corporate Military Leaders (V.II Snail & G1 Michigan). More specifically what makes them so different in how the player perceives them -- How their corny characterization makes them all the more engrossing. Spoilers to follow.

Michigan

• Massive blowhard military type, speaks with all the bravado of your stereotypical US army drill sergeant.

• Despite this, he is somewhat endearing. He's still a shill for Balam, but he has a clear level of respect for those under him, and grants even more respect where it's clearly deserved.

• Knows all his underlings by name.

• Will chastise his own men for not showing you enough respect on the mission where you are expected to kill him and his entire force. Seems to take it well despite what's happening.

• Despite his position placing him as one of the defcato villains, there is very little direct animosity to muster for him. By the point in the story where you can decide to kill him, Balam has already lost the race, and Michigan has shown very little ill will towards you personally (even if you've previously betrayed the Redguns).

---

(Quick note on V.I Freud: While Freud is Technically a higher rank than Snail, he's clearly turned over military leadership to Snail, which makes Snail more of the de-facto face of Arquebus. Freud's just an ace who shows up to have a good fight, and otherwise doesn't make much of a show. Which, yeah, that's fine.)

Snail

• The Immediate difference here is that Snail is consistently depicted as conceited and selfish. Where Michigan is on first-name basis with basic underlings, Snail is verbally disgusted with the thought of acknowledging anything or anyone that isn't directly and immediately beneficial to him.

• And that's great because this game ABSOLUTELY benefits from having someone that's so easy to hate. Snail treats everyone around him, including his ranked allies, and even Freud, like dirt.

• He's even worse to you in the sense that he's convinced his type of space-cyber-lobotomy is so much newer and shinier than yours and makes him objectively superior to you. Like calm down dude this isn't a brain damage contest.

• This makes the Liberator of Rubicon Ending immensely satisfying in a way the other 2 endings just don't compare to. The game has spent around 15-ish hours having this guy be a gigantic douche in nearly every line he speaks, and then he shows up to fight you when realistically he doesn't even have to considering the circumstances.

• And so with Rusty's theme blaring in the background, he has an angry breakdown while you send him and his Balteus 2: Scuffed Laser Edition™ directly to the shadow realm. It is the most satisfying boss kill in the game.

[bitingdrivers]

Another post about Bones AU!

hello again! This time I want to talk about the supporting cast: interns, fbi agents and some other guys.

I want to preface this with a little note that my knowledge of american education (and any other) system is very surface level. And all of this is made up anyway, so don't sweat it. also acab

Mr. Alex Albon

Minors in veterinary medicine. The honorary intern on the case where they find a bull penis in the evidence. After that it's revealed that he has 7 cats, 2 dogs and even a horse. After graduating he will probably go work as a vet at the National Zoo.

Alex is bright and funny, he is down to earth, but very professional and smart. Rumor has it he is in some kind of relationship with George Russell.

I imagine he is fine working with corpses, but at the end of the day his heart is in the veterinary medicine, so after a few internships in the lab he announces that he managed to get hours at the Zoo, so he won't be in the lab anymore. Despite that, he still has to help on some cases when no one else can.

Mr. George Russell

Besides anthropology, he also studies archeology and will probably end up in the Authentications Department after graduating.

He is usually interns in Authentications, but a few times he has to help at the lab, when other squints are unavailable. He hates working with corpses and one time is found crying in the lounge after he has to help solve a child's murder.

George is reserved and serious about keeping it professional in the lab. But after you know him better, you will learn that he is very passionate and a big gossip (he probably started that rumor himself)

Dr. Fernando Alonso

Works in Palaeonthology department, but has anthropological education so a couple of times he helps in the lab when there are no avaliable squints.

Since they are both Spanish and share a passion of biology and geology, Carlos and Fernando are good friends and often help each other.

One time he has to help in the lab and one of the Institute's sponsors, Lance Stroll pays a visit. Something happens between the two

The Stroll family

The Strolls are the main benefactors of the Institute and sponsor a lot of it's campaigns. Lawrence Stroll is the head of the family and has a son and heir of the company – Lance Stroll.

Lance is very enthusiastic about the Lab and sometimes likes to visits and hover around to see how the cases are solved. After a couple of times people just accept it and even include Lance in conversations and explain things to him. In return Lance tries to help with fundings and internships. His knowledge in business and other affairs helped solve the cases on numerous occasions (he is very proud of that).

Mr. Yuki Tsunoda

Yuki studies anthropology, but is very passionate about chemistry. He is a food enthusiast and is very interested in the field of molecular kitchen. Despite studying to be an anthropologist, he plans on working in a molecular kitchen restaurant, although he still takes studying and working in the lab responsibly.

Daniel is a big wine enthusiast and dreams of making his own wine one day, so when he learns about Yuki's food hobby, the two quickly bond. Yuki even takes Daniel to a few molecular kitchen restaurants.

Mr. Liam Lawson

Liam is a the first intern to fill the space after Oscar. Because of that the crew feels really weird about him being there. But after a few weeks of working together they became good friends.

Daniel and Liam quickly bond over their shared love of American football and sometimes even play the sport together.

Yes, Liam also thinks Max is flirting with him at the start, but Charles quickly explains that this is just Max being Max (this happened in the show, I swear)

Agents Pierre Gasly and Esteban Ocon

They both work in the Cyber division of the FBI. Their friendship feels weird and strained to the outsiders, but Pierre and Esteban refuse to tell anyone what happened between them. Despite that, they often work together and do it well.

During one of the cases where a hacker is involved, Agent Gasly is put on the case and he and Charles work together to catch the killer. During this time they develop a connection and quickly start dating after (this happenes when Charles and Carlos decide to take a break). But since Carlos is Charles' true love, the relationship with Pierre doesn't work out, but they stay good friends afterwards

Mr. Guanuy Zhou

Guanyu spends a couple of months in America as an exchange student from China. During that time he is given internship hours at the lab and helps to solve a case. He is studying to be a forensic anthropologist in China.

Agents Kevin Magnussen and Niko Hulkenberg

Agents Magnussen and Hulkenberg used to serve with Daniel in military and went through war together. But after Daniel went to Criminal, Cyber, Response, and Services Branch (specifically the violent crime division), Hulk and Magnussen went to National Secutiry. Sometimes they meet to have a few beers together

Valterri Bottas

As one of the best anthropologist in the world, Max is asked to go to Finland to assess and authenticate some very old and important remains. Daniel decides to go with Max (obviously). But in classic Bones fashion a murder happens during their stay and Max and Daniel have to solve it. A local police officer Valterri Bottas helps them with the case.

Prof. Gianpiero Lambiase

Ok so in the show it's established that Brennan has slept and dated her professor and mentor (although I don't remember if it happened after her graduation or during her years in the university)

So I decided why not. Max dated his professor and mentor GP after graduating university. It was brief and they never took it seriously, because it was mainly just lust.

But one day GP decides to visit the lab. Daniel is not thrilled to find about Max's and GP's relationship (but at this point he won't say anything about it to Max).

Agent Sergio Perez

So uh. I kind of forgot about him till this moment and almost hit post lol.

I decided just now that he works in Organized crime division and helps during one of the cases. Sorry Checo, I forgor.

Ok so this is obviously not all the people in f1, but at this point I think it's enough. But feel free to make your own headcanons about how this or that f1 person fits in this au.

[witchofthesouls]

(this is sort of vaguely the Miko x Tarn soulmate AU but could work in any scenario where the TFP kids end up as cyberformed adults)

Which one of the kids guardians do you think would have the biggest crisis about their kid, their little buddy, their partner in crime suddenly being either eye level or several heads taller than them?

I want to say Bee.

Like, Arcee might have a "yeah okay this might as well be happening" moment with Jack, and I think Bullhead would be both relieved that Miko can take an actual hit and be fine and terrified that Miko now knows she can take an actual hit and be fine (Wheeljack would be the one volunteering ways for Miko to get bludgeoned as a way of proving she's a Wrecker to the others that lived, and they'd be amused as how quickly she jumps at it).

But Bee had Raf. And Raf grew more confident over the years, but he was always kind of… quiet. Tried to avoid fights and did everything he could to calm any issues that arose. Damn great at what he did, but always preferred to be at HQ rather than on the field. Which was fine! The jobs at HQ are just as important and needed at those going out on the field.

And then he gets the call from Ratchet. And his friend, his fellow nerd and low key fast car enthusiast is a fucking Predacon.

I'm just going with the Other!AU with Miko x Tarn soulmates and cyberization because everyone there is having issues.

The Autobots' respective little buddies are making each of them really worried for different reasons. Ratchet had tried to prepare them, but nothing can help the old guardians with the newfound reality they're in since they also have similar biases Ratchet has (just not as extreme or set, even so well-meaning intentions can still led to harm).

Ironically, Bumblebee has it the easiest since Raf is essentially still the little brother he bonded with. Raf's Cybertronian root-mode is far more beastly compared to even a Predacon's. More reptilian. A true draconian hybrid. Raf is very much a Cybertronian equivalent, for better or worse, of a 'noble beast' stereotype and fantastical fiction of Ancient Cybertron. Bumblebee has to grapple with the unfortunate truths that Cybertron would never accept Raf. His once human partner would never be able to enjoy the things he loves on Cybertron. He would never set foot in a laboratory (unless Raf was the experiment), or go to shows and races (unless Raf was the main entertainment), or go traveling to across the city-states (unless Raf was literally the pack mule or the gift).

Arcee is now confronted that her kid is now the equivalent of a Cybertronian nudist with his habit of 'dressing down' as he slams on everyone's vulnerability kink out in the open. If Jack is on downtime in the privacy of his own space, then he's wearing sweats. He refuses to go dipping in full armature when swim trunks are available. He's relaxing dammit. Meanwhile, every new Cybertronian is literally inwardly sweating at the new handsome bird casually showing off his protoform as well as judging the Autobots for letting the mech strut around like the most confident hoe. (Miko and Raf really don't understand since Jack is wearing long-sleeves, and Jack is getting a fan club.)

Bulkhead has crisis after crisis after crisis. Miko is not only a rarity in two cases (a War-Forged and a Seeker femme), but she managed to seal the personal loyalty of a Primal Artifact (no one thought that was actually possible, so the Apex Armor is bonded to a new master) and has a Resonant. In a 'con. In Tarn of the Decepticon Justice Division.

And that Miko struck up a weird relationship with Soundwave. Something between learning, antagonism, and pranks. Scratch that, it seems like everyone now has a weird relationship with Soundwave at this point. Even Ratchet.

It doesn't help Bulkhead's worries over Miko taking every lesson of Ratchet's and Soundwave's combined teachings to become a living Cybertronian nightmare of an abomination as she works out the kinks in her yōkai transformation sequences. And her newfound fascination with freaking out new Cybertronians in general. And that she has no scruples against eating people.

(Jack and Raf are of the same vein but are more mindful of different cultural mores and adjust their behaviors as reasonably they can. Miko, however, is the product of a family that's too active Elsewhere, so her morals are a reflection of that.)

[feministbirdcreature]

Why is the content that gets posted in certain “femcel” spaces 99% centred on cyber bullying women (in the case of lolcow) or picking apart every single aspect of their looks (lolcow again and subreddits like Vindicta and Vindicta Rate Celebs).

The users who post in these types of message boards claim to be women and often describe disliking or hating men, so why do most of their comments consist of gossiping about women and picking apart their appearance? This is such stereotypically male behaviour to me that it makes me doubt these posters are even female in the first place. As someone who 1) dislikes men and 2) likes women, I have not felt the need to participate in behaviour like this since I was maybe 12 or 13 years old. If you claim to hate men and be a feminist, why is 99% of your post history bullying women?

Vindicta is on a whole other level. “Billie Eilish is a 3” or “Sydney Sweeney is a 4”. Their irrational hatred of certain features like large breasts or sanpaku eyes. Picking apart flawless women because their eyes are slightly downturned or because their philtrum is 1mm too long. Tell me, why are these supposedly straight women getting enjoyment out of this? Are they even women?

It’s bad enough having to deal with the millions of posts from males criticising women for how they look and now we have to deal with this shit from self-hating borderline male incel-aligned women with internalised misogyny. It’s ridiculous what a large percentage of the content on the internet consists of people just discussing whether a particular woman is hot or not. I want to see this sort of energy extended to male celebrities.

If you are an actual woman who posts in these spaces and participates in this sort of content, I’d love to hear from you what the appeal of these sorts of posts are. I just can’t wrap my head around what enjoyment women get out of picking apart celebrity women. It’s such male behaviour imo.

[riddle-me-fear]

Dear Riddler

What languages do you speak?

And do you have a doctor title or master's degree in any subject?

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Let's see, obviously English, as my mother tongue, then there's Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, German - all of which I speak fluently - I'd say mid-level Greek and Hebrew, I'm still learning those, and a little bit of Russian. Of course I know a couple words and phrases in a large variety of other languages, but those hardly count.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Tshh. Show-off.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Nobody asked for your opinion, Jonathan.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Aight, genius, genuine question: Why do ya know so damn many languages?

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Better. Well, Latin is obvious. French I learned while working with Oswald, since he just loves to surround himself with French women and is generally obsessed with France. Quite useful after the fact, to spy on his meetings and flirt with his assistant to anger him, mh-hm-ha! Of course, I've also visited the country myself, and the locals are much friendlier when you speak to them in their language. Moving on, Spanish is obvious as well. Ah, Italian, because I took quite many trips to Italy, for multiple reasons.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Do these "reasons" by chance have anythin' to do with our local kitty cat?

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Perhaps, perhaps not. Right then, German, oh, there are just too many reasons, from the music, to the inventors, mathematicians, psychologists; To read the works of such great individuals in their original language gives a much broader understanding than to make due with a translation. That isn't just the case with German, obviously, any language I learn is to further and deepen my knowledge in any way, shape or form I can, and learn of the country's history and culture, while I'm at it. Right, Greek and Hebrew, I am learning for that very same reason, and finally, Russian because of too many run-ins with the Bratva to my liking, and I'd rather understand what they're saying to each other, while I'm being held at gunpoint.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Hm, neva had any problems with 'em.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

Lucky you. Next question! Doctor title - nope; Master's degree - yes, two, actually. I've got a master's in Computer Forensics and Cyber Security, and another in Forensic Pathology. Initially - ahah, aaah this is hilarious thinking back on it - I was very motivated to fix the corrupt police system, and tried to achieve that from within.

Jonathan Crane | The Scarecrow

Hehehe, s'ppose that didn't last long.

Edward Nygma | The Riddler

It indeed did not. A person of my incredible intellect would quickly come to realize the GCPD is beyond salvation, something the Gordons still refuse to accept, and have to face the harsh reality thereof each and every time. But my studies were in no way for naught - Now, I have access to the vast digital space of databases the police keeps stored. Sure, they change their security system every year, but it's oh so easy to crack ahahahaha! Aaah, the dirt I have on so many officers, investigators, and what have you... The stories I could tell. If you buy them off me mh-hahaha! Oh, another thing on degrees, though; I'd have even more of them by now, as I am self-taught in quite a number of things. Unfortunately, the university isn't corrupt enough to hand out certificates to criminals. Shame. Not that I need them to prove my genius. They'd just look nice on my wall.

[thankskenpenders]

So I wrote a whole long thing about Amy's tarot cards, but what about, you know... the rest of the Sonic Frontiers DLC? The new alternate story route, the hours of new gameplay, all that?

Having now played it, I'm not sure Sonic has ever had this specific combination of good ideas that make the future of the series look bright, and execution that I fucking hate.

(Full spoilers ahead.)

The good

There's a lot to like here, conceptually.

First and foremost, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy are finally playable in a new mainline 3D Sonic game for the first time since 2006! Seventeen years! We've been begging for this for so very, very long. Nature is finally truly healing from the fallout of Sonic '06. Early on I hedged my bets and expected them to be locked to Cyber Space or something like that, assuming that there was no way they'd be fully playable in the Open Zone. But sure enough, while they're a bit limited compared to Sonic, they're still all full-blown characters with skill trees to unlock and lots of exploration to do.

We also got a more bombastic alternate final boss fight, after the first take on The End kind of underwhelmed. And it's obvious that Sonic Team has listened to our pleas to focus on the 3D platforming over the forced 2D sections, and to reduce the amount of automation in the level design. This update is chock full of Actual Platforming. Wow! I can only pray this means we never get an area as agonizing to explore as Chaos Island again.

Sure, there's still some jank - especially with Knuckles' movement, which is kinda rough. But if this is the stuff they're trying out so that they can refine it further for the next game, then I'm really excited.

On the other hand, good fucking lord is The Final Horizon tedious. And that tedium sapped most of the fun out of it for me.

The frustrating

The new scenario massively increases the difficulty over the base game, seemingly out of a desire to give the hardcore players who were posting speedrun videos and whatnot more of a challenge. It's the Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels of Sonic. This difficulty comes in many forms throughout your playtime, some worse than others, and continues to ramp up over time.

Rather than giving you a tutorial level, the new scenario dumps you directly into a remixed version of the final island and makes you do some fairly precise platforming with Amy, Knuckles, and Tails - new characters with new movesets that you won't have any experience with. You'll also need to find character-specific Koco that give you free levels, because Sonic's friends all start at level one and certain locked moves in their skill trees will be mandatory to progress. They don't even have Cyloop unlocked at the start. And because they're all low level, that means you'd better steer clear of the beefed-up bosses scattered around the map, which will absolutely annihilate Sonic's friends. (I honestly just avoided them and never bothered beating any of them, not even with my high-level Sonic. I have no idea if they're beatable with the others.)

None of this is explained to you particularly well. I spent my first few minutes with Amy wondering why the attack button did nothing, only to eventually think to check her skill tree and realize that I had to unlock her basic attack. If you don't bother to take the time to read through the skill trees, you'll very quickly find obstacles you have no way of getting past with no clues as to what exactly you're supposed to do.

Adding to this confusion is the fact that objective markers often tell you to go half a kilometer into the sky, and you'll have no idea how to get up there because all of the relevant platforms are out of your draw distance. Many objects seem to only pop in for me when I'm within about 60 meters of them, which isn't a long distance for a high-speed open world platformer like this. I was having this problem running the game with high graphics on PC, so I can only imagine how obnoxious it is on Switch. I'd frequently find myself poking around nearby clusters of platforming objects and praying that they'd lead me to a spring, rail, or cannon that would eventually point me in the direction of the floating objective marker.

There were always complaints about the art direction in Frontiers and the way it relies on floating rails and prefab platforms that are visually disconnected from the natural scenery of the islands, but it's even more dire here. The new platforming sections are dense and complex, but they seemingly didn't have the budget to change the topography of Ouranos Island at all, so it all takes the form of these prefabs. It very strongly gives the vibe of a Forge creation in Halo 3, back when there were no blank canvas maps and people just had to make "new maps" by jamming a bunch of shipping containers and barricades together in the sky above one of the default arenas.

I was still more or less having fun, though, despite the jank. It's a big creative swing, I told myself! They're trying stuff out! They're experimenting!

And then I hit the towers.

The towers are agonizing because they're SO close to being great. The logical part of my brain understands why some people love them, but god, I just fucking hate them. The platforming there IS cool! These layouts are cool! The individual challenges along the way are a bit tough, but totally doable. You know what's not cool? Making one mistake and slowly falling 800 meters all the way back down to the ground, forcing you to start over. Because none of these towers have checkpoints. For me, this one decision transforms what should have been a fun set of platforming challenges into a massive, unfun difficulty spike.

I enjoy some masocore platformers, but those are typically games with quick deaths and restarts like Celeste, Super Meat Boy, or VVVVVV. Hell, the Mario games tend to get way more difficult than the average Sonic game, and those are obviously all great. Quite frankly, unlike those games, Sonic Frontiers is nowhere near tight or polished enough to make this difficulty feel fair. Bits of jank that I could ignore in the base game due to its lower difficulty are now matters of life or death. Missing a jump because I boosted off an incline in a way the game didn't like for reasons I don't understand is not fun. Falling off a tower because the camera was pointing in the wrong direction while I was in midair and I couldn't see the next thing I was expected to homing attack is not fun.

And it's such a jarring spike when moving from the base game to the DLC that it feels like the game is suddenly quizzing me on skills it never bothered to instill in me. Maybe if you've spent the last year labbing out the movement tech in this game this is all a no brainer, but for the average returning player it's a kick in the dick.

I'm sure I could've beaten these towers normally if I gave them enough tries. They aren't the hardest thing in the world. But I very quickly decided I had better things to do with my life and turned on easy mode, which adds tons of extra springs and homing attack balloons to make all of the platforming piss easy. I wish there was a middle option between Only Up: Sonic Edition and this extreme hand holding, but when given the choice between the two I gladly picked baby mode. I just wanted to see the story.

(The new Cyber Space levels are also long, challenging, and devoid of checkpoints, not unlike the towers. But I only ever found the entrances to two of them. So I only did two. They're theoretically required, because they give you "Lookout Koco" that you need for... some reason? But in a rare act of mercy, Sonic Team put Cyloop treasure spots that give you free Lookout Koco all over the map.)

As I continued, so many little things started adding up to piss me off. Why do you only reveal like five tiny squares of the map at a time? I would've loved to find all the new 1-on-1 dialogue scenes, but not if I had to do dozens of hard mode versions of the stupid little puzzles and challenges to reveal the whole map. Why does every character need their own unique collectibles? What is this, Donkey Kong 64? Why can't I just grab this EXP for Amy when I find it as Tails? Why can I only manually swap characters by talking to an out-of-the-way NPC unlocked right before the final boss? Why is fast travel disabled? Why are the new vocal themes you hear when playing as Amy, Knuckles, and Tails so monotonous, with a single verse repeating over lo-fi beats ad nauseum? Why is the jukebox feature completely disabled throughout the DLC, even after rolling the credits? Why can't Tails homing attack? Why do I have to wrestle with the camera so much while also holding the jump button to fly as Knuckles and Tails? How many right thumbs do they think I have? Why is this animation for picking up animals in the Cyber Space levels so incredibly slow, and why can I still take damage while it's playing? Why does the stupid starfall event have to make it so hard to see what I'm doing when climbing these towers? Why does this shitty combat trial have a popup that makes it seem like I should be using the Cyloop when the actual strategy revolves around repeated parries? And on and on and on...

The story

What about the new story? Well, there sadly isn't much to chew on here. Most of the DLC has the cast running around and finding different macguffins for arbitrary reasons, as part of some sort of plan to divide up the work on the last island so that Sonic can go train with the spirits of the Ancients and harness the power of his cyber corruption. What the fuck is an Impact Form? I don't know, but Knuckles needs something to do, so go find one.

It's a thin excuse plot meant to make you do platforming challenges around Ouranos Island, with little room for Ian to add any real flavor of his own, even though he certainly tries. Having Sonic meet the spirits of the Ancients who controlled the Titans, who are revealed to directly parallel the personalities of him and his friends, is kinda neat, I guess? It's something. The optional conversations seem to have some fun bits, including both conversations between the supporting cast and additional lore. But again, I only found a few of those because of how tedious filling out the map was.

The writing is also let down by the voice acting - or I guess the voice direction, because I know this cast can do better. Roger's voice continues to be weirdly, distractingly deep as Sonic, which was clearly something that was requested of him just for this game. (For a recent example of him going back to his regular Sonic voice, see this LEGO trailer.) The performances of Sonic's friends are also WILDLY mismatched. This is most clear when they start feeling the effects of the cyber corruption. Knuckles seems to be barely affected at all, Tails sounds like he's moderately hurt and low on energy, and Amy starts completely overselling her pain out of nowhere. The extremely strained performance makes it sound like Cindy's literally being tortured in the fucking booth. I have no idea what's going on over there.

The final challenges

People have debated whether or not things like the towers and the new Cyber Space levels are fair challenges. What's not up for debate is the fact that Master King Koco's Trial is complete and utter bullshit, and I can't believe they shipped this.

Before you can fight the new final boss, the game forces you to do a boss rush of the first three Titans - INCLUDING the pre-Super Sonic climbing sections - with a hard limit of 400 rings. For all three lengthy, heavily scripted fights. Back to back. You can't even cheese it with the leveling system, because you're forced to do this at level 1. This all but forces you to look up speedrun strats for the Super Sonic fights so that you don't run out of rings and fail the trial.

And the real kicker? They changed the parry just for this trial! Originally, you could just hold down the bumpers endlessly and Sonic would ready himself to parry the next attack, whenever that may hit. Now it requires you to do a "Perfect Parry" with specific timing. And you HAVE to hit those parries if you wanna clear this trial and get to the new ending. Miss a few and you're probably fucked. You just have to reset. Time to go through all those fights, all those climbing sequences, all those QTEs, and all those unskippable mid-fight cutscenes all over again. This is by far the most egregious example of the DLC deciding to quiz you on new skills that the base game never required of you, and it's one of the most absurdly unfair things I have ever seen in a Sonic game.

Easy mode does make this trial easier by making the timing window for Perfect Parries much more generous, but that's all the help you get. It's still easy to lose time failing to parry Wyvern's hard-to-read animations, or to lose rings by getting hit on the climb sections, or for things to just fuck up because these fights were always kinda jank. I gave it a few shots. I looked up guide videos. I tried the Quick Cyloop and stomp combo strat that seems all but mandatory. But I quickly decided that, again, this wasn't a worthwhile use of my time. It just sucks. And I really, REALLY didn't want to overwrite all my fond memories of these Titan fights, some of my favorite setpiece moments in any Sonic game, with memories of this shit ass boss rush.

So I cheated! And if you're on PC, you should too.

With the worst hurdle out of the way, I turned cheats back off and moved on to the new final boss. It was pretty cool. It's much flashier than the original fight against The End, that's for sure. It's still kinda annoying, and it requires you to do very specific shit without properly telegraphing it, but it's nowhere near as bad as the preceding challenges. I was hoping for one last new metalcore song to go with the new fight, which we sadly didn't get, but at least the new version of I'm Here is good.

The ending is... mostly the same, with a couple altered scenes that don't really change anything in the long run. But overall the new finale was pretty good. I just wish it hadn't been such a slog to get there.

Closing thoughts

Sonic Frontiers: The Final Horizon wants to be three things:

A patch that adds a new alternate ending that was probably supposed to be in the base game in the first place.

An experimental take on making Tails, Knuckles, and Amy playable again, presumably testing things for the next game. And...

An official Kaizo Sonic Frontiers mod for the sickos.

The thing is, the people showing up for #1 and #2, the main things that Sega hyped up about the update, are not necessarily going to be down for #3. If they had announced some uber-hard new Cyber Space levels for the arcade mode or whatever, I'd be like, neat! And then not play them. I would never touch Master King Koco's Trial if it was an optional challenge. I would leave that for the sickos. But instead, they made the hardest content mandatory for anyone who wants to see the new Good Ending where the final boss gets an actual budget.

I'm mostly left in a state of shock that it shipped like this. I cannot believe they playtested this and decided this was the state The Final Horizon should be released in. That this should be the note Frontiers ends on. That this should be how we remember those Titan fights. That this should be the lingering taste in our mouths as we wait however many years for the next 3D game.

Armchair devs always love to say that things would be "easy to fix," but like... there really would be easy fixes for the insane difficulty and general tedium here! Add a few more tutorial popups explaining what the game expects of you with Sonic's friends. Give the Cyber Space stages and the towers a couple checkpoints. Give the combat trials more generous time limits, especially on the lower difficulties. Remove half of the map puzzles, and make the ones that remain uncover twice as many squares. Skip the startup animation for Knuckles' glide. Let me turn on the goddamn jukebox. Since so much of this update was designed around fan feedback, I can only pray that Sonic Team is still listening, and that they tweak at least a few of these things with a balance patch.

But still, after those many, many paragraphs of complaining... this still somehow makes the future of 3D Sonic seem pretty promising?

Sonic's friends are FINALLY playable again, and the focus is back to proper 3D platforming, rather than railroading players into awkward forced 2D sections in what's otherwise an open world. These are the things that they hopefully want to carry over to the next game. The difficulty? Well, that's just because it's the postgame DLC that's supposed to be the toughest challenge in the game. It's just an unreasonably cruel one of those - an example of how designing and balancing for a vocal minority of your fanbase can really hurt your game. But Sonic Team is onto something here, and I hope that they can learn the right lessons from this expansion and not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

[hauntedraggedyanne]

A collection of small character flaws

All the ones I’ve collected

—always making the conversation about themselves

—lying about something incredibly stupid but they refuse to back down from

—expecting others to pay for them at every store, restaurant or hotel

—subtle jabs at other people that they always respond with ‘I wasn’t SAYING it was bad! YOU’RE the one making ME look bad!’ (Watch one of those ‘alpha male vs modern feminist’ videos or clips for inspiration if you are brave enough)

—messy, except this time they have other people in their space (like a dorm, shared apartment, or any kind of shared living space) so their messiness makes everyone VERY upset

—refusing to understand or learn another friend/teammate/partners culture or background to even slightly understand then

—loud obnoxious voiced people who physically can NOT make a subtle entrance or just simply exist in a room without yelling or eating very loudly

—asks for permission to do absolutely anything even with people who are on the same or even a lower level than they are

—doesn’t listen to music with headphones on in a crowded space so EVERYONE has to listen to them

—Can’t keep a plant alive to save their soul

—Gives up too easily

—Every time they go out to eat with others and they all order their food, they go last so that they can condescendingly ask for a salad

—Acts surprised when someone has a hobby and they’re not monetizing that hobby (ex: crochet. Actually this all about crocheting)

—cyber bully

—Keeps turning the conversation on its head so that they have an excuse to talk about themselves

—The type who compares traumas (oh I’m so sorry your dad’s a terrible person. BUT AT LEAST YOU HAVE A DAD 😭😭😭)

—Never asks for permission to do anything. It stops being cool and bad-boy after a while

—Nonchalant about everything. Even when you shouldn’t be.

—Steals little things for absolutely no reason. It’s not like they’re poor. It’s not like they need it. They just take it.

—They question every single detail about the things you say like they’re solving a murder case. (“Yeah, life has been really tough—“ “IF things have been as difficult as you say, then WHY—“)

—Talks about how unique their music taste is. All the time.

Doesn’t turn their blinker on when driving (or just drives horribly in general)

—“Take a break” for them means 5-8 weeks of doing nothing and telling absolutely NOBODY about this break

—‘No’ does not mean ‘no’, it means a challenge

—Every time there’s a holiday/birthday and the characters VERY CLEARLY tell them what hey want, they go out of their way to NOT GET IT and only get what THEY think the character wants.

(Okay that’s personal but it can foreshadow the characters not actually knowing each other as well as they think they do)

—Never. I mean NEVER. doing group work and then insisting to the teacher they were the ‘leader’ of the group. There’s no excuse.

—Turns every fight physical

—Tries to talk out everything even when it’s WAY too late for that and then acts surprised when the cannibal monster that ate one of their other friends decides to eat them next.

—One of those extreme musician stans. That’s it. I’m just very scared of them.

(If you see any traits that just so happen to go in hand with something you do, I am so sorry I’m not trying to say anything. You’re probably not evil)

[8um8le]

Hiiiii! I hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself! *gently kisses and pats your forehead*

So I see the connections between all the other toons/mall space friends and their corrupted counterparts abut how does moons fit in?

Nerdy hydro and Toon Moon seem SO different from our sc chaotic guy. Did he retain anything from his original code besides the go with the flow attitude similar to hydrokenisis?

Heheh ty for the lov :33

It’s funny cuz when we look at cyber crew, we usually assume Sun would be the brains while 8ot and Moon are the brawns, when it’s actually the opposite

Moon knows where the money’s at, he’s cunning, even getting on Sun’s good side during their scrapyard days to take advantage of Sun’s already built-in combat skills. He’s a fast learner, despite not being a fighter, he still managed to somewhat get on Sun’s level.

Also the moon bot’s shallow emotions makes it easy to financially ascend, and go through decisions that more emotional sensitive people fail to go through. Toon Moon and City Moon have very different personalities, but their “heart” remains the same

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

🤖 Anatomy of a Cyberman

Cybermen are humanoids 'upgraded' through cybernetic conversion, stripping away organic weakness to create efficient, nearly emotionless beings.

🧬 Cyber-Conversion

Lacking any natural means of reproduction, Cybermen rely on "Cyber-conversion" to, uh, recruit volunteers (okay, not always volunteers). Organic bodies are overhauled, trading flesh for metal, inhibiting emotions, and installing pure logic processing for survival, with unquestioning loyalty to the Cyber cause. And there's no going back.

🎩 Varied Cyber-Bodies

There's no one-size-fits-all in Cybermen fashion, but they do keep a few classics in rotation:

The Classic Metallic Look: Shiny and silver. Most Cybermen follow this silver theme, but they've had other styles—black Cyber-Scouts, and even one in wood.

Mondasian Legacy: The early CyberMondans from Mondas had visible circuitry and gauze-covered faces; they were a little more DIY. Later versions from the Mondasian colony ship still retained parts of their human body like hands, and had an eerie, sing-song voice.

🛠️ Features

💔 Emotional Inhibitors: For Cybermen, emotions are nothing more than a liability. So they simply switch them off. Each Cyberman is fitted with an "emotional inhibitor" to keep pesky human feelings—like regret, fear, or the utter horror of their situation—at bay.

🔫 Weapons and Adaptation: Laser-firing helmets, chest-mounted blasters, and adaptive armour make Cybermen formidable. They're also masters at adapting to new threats and sharing it with the hive mind. Speaking of ...

👥 Hive Mentality: Cybermen pride themselves on efficiency, and what's more efficient than a hive mind? Linked by an extensive network, each Cyberman can share information, adapt to threats, and communicate without those bothersome MS Teams meetings.

🔧Self-Healing Powers: The later models could heal almost instantly, and detach body parts entirely. Resistance, honestly, is futile.

⏳Primitive Time Travel: Yes, Cybermen have tried time travel, and while it's more of a space hopper than a sports car, it does mean they'll show up at the most inconvenient times.

⚠️ Weaknesses

Though resilient, Cybermen have notable weaknesses:

Gold Sensitivity: Cybermen have an allergy to bling. Gold clogs their respiratory systems, making it highly effective against them. Mr. T is practically untouchable.

Weak Against EMPs: A strong EMP will disrupt their circuitry, temporarily putting them out of commission.

Explosive Fragility: Although tough, Cybermen are not invulnerable—some well-placed explosives, a bazooka, or a Raston Warrior Robot can bring them down.

Emotional Overload: Either by the Cerebration Mentor, or breaking the emotional inhibitor. If the inhibitor were to break it would be messy, painful, and involve more existential angst than Proust, so it's best not to dwell on it, unlike Proust.

Hive Hacking: Their hive mind is both an asset and a vulnerability. A skilled hacker—or a particularly clever Time Lord—can exploit it to turn their collective mind against them.

Other Lesser Known Methods: Cybermen can also be disabled or weakened by a chemical mixture known as Polly Cocktail, high radiation levels, and the scent of a particular flower from a particular planet (though we have no idea what flower on what planet).

🌌 Eternal Threat

The Cybermen genuinely believe they're doing the universe a favour by spreading the 'gift' of conversion. After all, who wouldn't want to live forever in a buff metal suit? The Cybermen may not have feelings, but they sure have ambition. And with each new upgrade, they're getting closer to making sure that everyone joins the Cyber club.

Gallifreyan Cyberman Biology for Tuesday by GIL

Any orange text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →📢Announcements |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts → Features: ⭐Guest Posts | 🍜Chomp Chomp with Myishu →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[centralcitylibrary]

Response to Death Battle's Bowser vs. Dr. Eggman: Part 3/3 - Analysing the Match-up

Welcome to part 3/3 of my response to Death Battle. This part will focus on my providing my own analysis of the match-up, and my conclusion at the very end of it. If you watched the whole episode, you’ll know that this absolutely required its own dedicated part just to focus on. For the sake of a fair analysis, this will operate on the same standards that Death Battle themselves operate, rather than my usual methods (assuming you’ve seen it prior).

You can find part 1 here, and part 2 here.

This is probably the absolute hardest Mario vs. Sonic MU to decide on. Both sides have so many options, it’s dizzying, and any side could pull out a win from just unveiling one of their strongest weapons at the right time.

In fact, these instant win weapons are so numerous on both sides, that it turns the strength advantage, usually a major factor in any fight, into merely another number on the list of victory conditions. As such, while I will still provide my own strength calculations, I’ll primarily be focused on each of these trump cards, and what options the opposing army has in stopping them – alongside how both combatants could leverage these trump cards.

Let’s first list out the actual trump cards both sides have, just to make things clear:

Bowser:

Castle Bowser – can warp reality on a universal level, given enough time to charge up.

Dream Stone – can erase people from existence, and if broken its pieces can be consumed for Dreamy Bowser, which empowers him based on how many dreams he can absorb – potentially a raw power option if it can absorb enough dreams.

Fury Bowser – can mind control and corrupt others while he’s active in the form, alongside sending people to another world, and lastly invulnerability negation. Requires Bowser Jr.’s paint brush.

Star Rod – can grant wishes and is on par with the Star Spirits, who created the Dream Depot.

Painting (King Boo) – sealing. Anyone who gets trapped in this cannot escape.

Several ghosts – operating under King Boo, their release can destabilise the dimension.

Mind control.

Power Stars & Grand Stars – raw power.

Pure Hearts – raw power (but even more), invulnerability negation.

Eggman:

Metal Virus – transmutes any organic member infected by it into a metal zombie.

Finalised Phantom Ruby Prototype – can create tangible illusions (effectively reality warping) that only affect those the user wants to affect, alongside inverting gravity, creating an infinite army, and banishing others to Null Space (which blocks dimensional travel) – has 4 copies.

Phantom Ruby (original) – the same as above, except it provides its own power source. All Phantom Rubies can only be used by those with enough willpower, which amongst Eggman’s army includes Eggman himself, Infinite, Metal Sonic, and the Hardboiled Heavies.

Modified Phantom Ruby Prototype – can modify memories alongside the above’s effects, designed to alter the planet’s memories – has 2 copies. Can create infinitely sized areas via his Egg Fields, and thus has infinite range.

The Chaos Emeralds – just… so many things. Including raw power.

Mind Control Cannon – mind control.

Jewelled Sceptre – raw power (again).

Reverie – turns dreams into reality (aka real reality warping).

Sol Emeralds – they’re like the Chaos Emeralds.

Cyber Space (Sage) – can trap people within, separating their bodies and soul, and even (slowly) corrupt anyone who tries to save them. Even if they can escape, they’ll be left involuntarily intangible.

Time Eater – space-time erasure (and by proxy, existence erasure), raw power (yet again).

Supreme – raw power (constant showings of raw power).

Now all of these tools should – in theory – be able to instantly end the battle, or at bare minimum instantly remove the opposing side’s standard army, leaving it to just the main 2 to duke it out. However, a vast majority of these trump cards has at least 1 method of dealing with them, usually multiple. These are all of the checks and counters to those trump cards mentioned above (if you’re familiar with competitive Pokemon, those terms should be familiar to you – a check is anything that can prevent an opposing tool from working once it’s actively on the field, while a counter is either outright immunity or can be brought on after the fact to counteract it).

Bowser’s checks & counters:

Transmutation magic (Bowser, Kamek) – can counter the Metal Virus, and can check the Phantom Rubies, Jewelled Sceptre, Reverie, Mind Control Cannon, and Time Eater. Cannot counter the Chaos Emeralds, as the latter are not only able to undo their own transmutation, but still work even while transmutated.

Reality warping (Castle Bowser, Bowser to a lesser extent) – checks the Phantom Rubies’ own reality warping; Jewelled Sceptre, Reverie, the Time Eater, and Supreme. Counters the Mind Control Cannon.

Item theft (Kamek) – checks the Phantom Rubies, Jewelled Sceptre, Reverie, and Time Eater. Because of the presence of both the Chaos Emeralds and Sol Emeralds, attempting to steal either of them without knowing how to control them will destabilise the universe, and Eggman’s knowledge on this fact will prompt him to leave the universe immediately while Bowser’s side dies, letting him gain a technical win. Phantom Rubies will not work for Eggman’s side when stolen. Some of Eggman’s items can check his trump cards.

Power nullification (Kamek) – can check everything except the Metal Virus and Sage, especially the Chaos Emeralds and Sol Emeralds. While both can be restored by positive emotions, Eggman has never done so himself, and likely can’t due to his poor genuine leadership skills combined with his immense ego; leaving Sage as the only positive bond he has in this fight. Counters the Mind Control Cannon, as it does not function without Hyper-Go-On.

Illusions (King Boo, maybe Kamek) – since the Phantom Rubies are all illusion-based, counteracting the illusions should be a functional check to them.

Bowser’s computer brain (Bowser) – yeah his computer brain. It can restore his memories, allowing Bowser (albeit only Bowser) to counter the memory altering effects of the Modified Phantom Ruby Prototype.

Minion Spirit – makes Bowser’s army immune to mind control from sheer loyalty, if they’re devoted enough. Should also apply to Bowser himself, and is thus a check to both the Metal Virus and the Mind Control Cannon.

Existence erasure (Dream Stone) – is a soft check to everything Eggman can bring out, albeit it’s possible for Eggman to send Metal Sonic, or a Replica of Metal Sonic or Shadow into White Space to search for and restore whatever has been erased, if Eggman’s forces can stall for long enough.

Data immersion (King Boo) – is a very soft counter to Sage, by virtue of being the only individual who can directly deal with her when she’s not piloting Supreme. Cannot check Supreme directly, as Sage was unable to hack any of the Titans and could only pilot Supreme because it had no pilot.

Invulnerability negation (the Pure Hearts) – can negate invulnerability granted by the Chaos/Sol Emeralds.

Raw Power & restoration (the Pure Hearts) – can counter Eggman’s strongest weapons by virtue of equivalent power and counteracting space-time erasure (assuming finite values).

Eggman’s checks & counters:

That weird illusion/selective reality manipulation (the Phantom Rubies) – can check Castle Bowser (and Bowser’s reality manipulation), the Dream Stone, and Fury Bowser.

Reality warping (Reverie) – can check Castle Bowser, the Dream Stone, Fury Bowser, and the Star Rod.

Memory Manipulation – can check everything that doesn’t come from Bowser himself, and even remove some of Bowser’s own checks and counters such as Minion Spirit or his allies.

Dimensional travel (Chaos Control, Sage, potentially the Phantom Rubies) – can counter anyone being removed from the battlefield by Fury Bowser.

Item theft (Forcejewels) – can unreliably check the Wonder Flowers, Dream Stone, Star Rod, Power Stars, Grand Stars, and Pure Hearts. Some of Bowser’s items can check other items of his.

Mind Control Cannon – can unreliably check King Boo’s painting sealing, by forcing King Boo to undo the effect. Not guaranteed to work, given the potential of true minion spirit, but given there is no indication King Boo is particularly loyal it should be more likely to work than not. Even if Eggman is taken out, Sage can use the mind control cannon on King Boo to undo it.

Sage – given she’s not a physical entity and is really on the EggNet, she should be able to ignore Kamek’s mind control and send Eggman out of range to command his troops from afar, or take direct control of Eggman’s army – a check.

Neo Metal Sonic – his bio-data copying means that he can become immune to any check/counter that comes from an innate ability of any of the Koopa Troop, which can potentially counter many of Bowser’s own checks and counters.

Damage transfer (rings) – checks Bowser’s Power Stars, Grand Stars, and Pure Hearts, as they allowed base Sonic to survive hits from The End, a being more powerful than even Solaris and Time Eater.

Shield (Sage) – is able to block hits from even The End, serving as a check to the Power Stars and even Pure Hearts.

Raw power (Chaos Emeralds, Jewelled Sceptre, Sol Emeralds, Time Eater, Supreme) counters Bowser’s Power Stars and the Pure Hearts (assuming peak values).

That’s a lot, isn’t it? But if you noticed, everything has at least 1 check or 1 counter to it, no matter how unreliable that check/counter actually is.

Some highlights include:

The Chaos/Sol Emeralds are only checked by Kamek and the Dream Stone, and attempting to steal them will in fact force a tie from the resulting destruction and destabilisation.

Kamek alone checks so many of Eggman’s trump cards that he’ll end up becoming a priority target as the battle goes on.

Metal Sonic, if he’s not shut down by Kamek, can continue to copy more and more of Bowser’s powers based off of the bio-data of him and his army, which means that with enough time he can gain a majority of the checks and counters that Bowser’s army has, and gain immunity from them as a result (albeit that likely came too late for it to influence the result of the Death Battle).

Sage, due to being part of the EggNet/Cyerbspace, can only be checked by the Dream Stone and King Boo, meaning she’ll become a top priority to deal with by the end of the battle. Piloting Supreme ironically makes her more vulnerable, given that if Supreme is destroyed while she’s piloting it she’ll die too.

Bowser’s computer brain is the only true method Bowser has to deal with the modified Phantom Ruby’s memory manipulation, and he’ll need to get rid of it as soon as possible if he doesn’t want his allies turning against him.

Supreme is the most dangerous of the raw power weapons on Eggman’s army, as it came in pre-charged and doesn’t need continued use of the Chaos Emeralds unless it were to get its power drained, and is invulnerable to conventional damage.

Altogether, the sheer volume of weapons plus the fact that every single one of them has the potential to be stopped in its tracks with the right set up means that ultimately this duel is going to come down to a quick draw – who can pull off a broken win condition first. Which, of course, means that stats is the next most important factor to bring up.

And I’ll be bringing out stats twice for each side, a calculated finite value, and their absolute peak.

Power:

Bowser (base):

Finite: 2.28012318407×10^108 Foe – Can defeat Culex, who claimed – after gaining a 3rd dimensional form – to be capable of destroying all of time and space. Assuming this would destroy the entire universe at every single moment in time down to the Planck time, and assuming the universe is as old as ours from Big Bang to present, this is the value required to destroy the universe. Mario (and by proxy Bowser) has gotten stronger since then.

Peak: Infinite – could defeat Culex, who claimed to be capable of destroying all of time and space.

Power Stars & Grand Stars:

Finite: 8.05115087719×10^50 Foe – 284 Power Stars/Grand Stars, with one possessing enough power to destroy the universe. Likely lower, as Power Stars are weaker than Grand Stars.

Peak: Infinite – unspecified boost from every single Power Star and Grand Star.

Pure Hearts

Finite: 2.28012318407×10^108 Foe – their amp allowed Bowser to defeat foes amplified by the Chaos Heart – which is strong enough to destroy the entire space-time of a universe (same as the Culex finite feat). Much higher to an unquantifiable degree, as every universe should bring back a roughly equivalent value.

Peak: Infinite multiverse – could threaten the entire Mario multiverse.

Eggman (base mechs):

Finite: 1.4125×10^48 Foe – can fight with Sonic, who while weakened could defeat the Erazor Djinn empowered by half of the World of the Arabian Nights, which should be comparable to a universe given it resembles Earth and has stars. Sonic has gotten stronger since then, and Eggman constantly upgrades his machines to match.

Peak: Infinite/2 – the World of the Arabian Nights includes an infinitely sized location, which should make the whole universe infinite in size.

Chaos Emeralds:

Finite: 2.28012318407×10^108 Foe – Solaris could destroy the entire space-time of a universe (same as the finite Culex feat). Much higher to an unquantifiable degree, as every universe should bring back a roughly equivalent value.

Peak: Infinite 4th dimensional multiverse – Solaris could threaten the entire Sonic multiverse (Maginaryworld is explicitly confirmed to be 4th dimensional, and when the (weaker) Paradox Prism shattered Sonic’s prime universe into the Shatterverse, it was divided into multiple universe sized spaces with separate space-times and ended with restoring the original universe within the Shatterverse, suggesting that a universe is a higher dimensional construct housing one or more 3rd dimensional spaces within).

Now that was power, and as you can see who’s stronger depends on whether we’re using finite values or infinite values (Bowser handily taking the advantage in the prior category, Eggman taking the advantage in the latter). But as I said before, raw power is not important in this fight, and merely a bullet point on the list of ways they could win.

The real important stat is speed, and well...

Speed:

Bowser:

Finite: 24,450,000,000,000,000 C (24.45 quadrillion times the speed of light) – Mario flew to the trial galaxies – located at the edge of the universe with a launch star (and back with a Power Star), and can react at these speeds (as evidenced by landing on his feet and picking up star bits on the way) – given this happens before Mario rescues Peach from Bowser, each trip should take no more than 6 hours to make, but I’ll be generous and claim it took 1 minute.

I know Death Battle claimed this trip took 3 seconds, but there’s a loading screen both to and from the Trial Galaxies, and when the loading screen ends Mario is already back at the observatory – and the trip to the galaxy features a menu while Mario is flying at high speeds (as evidenced by the moving speed lines), which doesn’t have any time limit to the player selecting the Star, making the true time frame hard to accurately verify.

Peak: 24,450,000,000,000,000 C (24.45 quadrillion times the speed of light) – Mario flew to the trial galaxies – located at the edge of the universe with a launch star (and back with a Power Star), and can react at these speeds (as evidenced by landing on his feet and picking up star bits on the way).

Eggman:

Finite: 48,900,000,000,000,000 C (48.9 quadrillion times the speed of light) – Time Eater erased the entire universe in seconds. Even though we see Shadow sent to White Space in the time it took to raise his hands, and Sonic’s chilli dog landed back in his hand instead of landing on the ground after he defeated the Time Eater, I’ll be strict and assume a 30 second time span. Eggman was piloting the Time Eater, and Classic Sonic and Shadow could each react to this feat happening to them, so by all accounts this should scale to Eggman’s reaction time (and the reaction time of his post-Generations machines). In addition, later in Frontiers base Sonic could react to the Titans, who are themselves empowered by the Chaos Emeralds.

Peak: Immeasurable – regularly battles Sonic, who could restore areas erased from time by the Time Eater with his raw speed.

… Oh. Even with being generous towards Bowser, and strict towards Eggman, Eggman still ended up faster. You could argue that I could be even more generous towards Bowser, or even more strict towards Eggman – and that’s true – however, the opposite is true as well.

If we treat both these feats as generously as possible Eggman’s speed feat should still be extremely close to Bowser’s, enough to have little relevance, while if we treat both of them as strictly as possible Mario’s half-universal trip has a lot more potential time to cross than Sonic’s chilli dog flight.

All of this, of course, while ignoring the fact that Shadow Generations just provided a better speed feat than before with no ambiguity, showing Time Eater erasing the universe in 12 seconds – and no loading screen, so the timeframe is exact. This likely wouldn’t be added into the voiceover, but would absolutely make it into the analysis & black boxes given information from Mario & Luigi: Brotherhood made it in.

And that’s just talking about the finite values, once we delve into their hypothetical peaks that speed advantage just gets exaggerated, and Eggman just speed blitzes Bowser’s entire army and wins for free.

If we exclusively discuss in terms of finite values then Bowser’s strong enough to one shot anything that isn’t a Super tier in base, but only his Pure Hearts form is strong enough to contend with those Super tiers. This raw power gap would also prompt Eggman to rely on his trump cards far quicker than usual (something he already tends to go for), making an incredibly close match, but ultimately one that Eggman should come out on top for.

This in addition to Sage being able to make millions of calculations in a short time span, whose battle strategy is said by Sage herself to be on focusing on the best method of survival, and whose intelligence surpasses even Eggman’s, thanks to her AI nature and being integrated with the Ancients’ Cyber Space.

Or in other words…

Eggman wins.

Thank you for reading my 3 part response to Death Battle – or at least reading any one of my 3 parts, I hope you enjoyed this deep dive into the match-up, and I hope Death Battle going independent means that they can continue to push and evolve the show even further beyond what it’s been this last decade.

Happy independence!