#even sadder poetry

[godforsakenchaos]

[avirael]

Night Lament in Hergla

- Leila Chatti

(Did I mean „sad“ when I said „back to my usual stuff“? Actually no! But I read this poem yesterday and I kept thinking about it and knew I had to do something related to it. You have to imagine the moon and the sound of the waves though...)

[mathmusicreading]

@yummysuika @ospreywhite I really appreciate your translation work; can you explain more about shichen timekeeping to me? Because I know a tiny bit of modern Mandarin Chinese, but I can't recognize the shichens as the zodiac animals:

Zi (I don't know "rat", so I actually can't make any argument here.)

Chou (I don't know "ox", but I reasonably could have expected "niu" for "cow".)

Yin (I know "tiger" as "hu".)

Mao (I don't know "rabbit", but to me "mao" is "cat".)

Chen (I know "dragon" as "long".)

Si (I don't know "snake", but now I find it interesting that it sounds like death, like snakes could be seen as evil in Chinese culture similar to how they are seen in the Christian world.)

Wu (I know "horse" as "ma".)

Wei (I know "sheep/goat" as "yang".)

Shen (I don't know "monkey", but I would have expected "Sun" or "Wu" or "Kong" because of "Monkey King".)

You (I know "rooster/chicken" as " ji".)

Xu (I know "dog" as "gou".)

Hai (I don't know "pig/boar" unless "pork" and "pig" are the same "siu".)

I tried asking my parents, but they just starting talking about how the Chinese zodiac is actually a 60-year cycle with the 12 animals and the 5 elements. So are these shichen names the "Pre-Han dynasty semi-descriptive terms"? Is it kind of like the difference between "midday" and "noon" in English? The former is a "descriptor", the latter is a "name", but they "mean" the same thing?

(I tried checking the etymology for "noon" on dictionary.com, so to be fair "ninth hour" is a descriptor, but in Modern English it's not really recognizable as such and so for the sake of my shichen question, I'm calling "noon" a "name".)

Or is this another language/dialect or due to the evolution of language (changing words and pronunciations)?

I was also looking up the Dragon Boat Festival being on the unluckiest day of the year, and it says, "The Chinese name of the festival is pronounced differently in different Chinese languages. Duanwu (端午) literally means 'starting horse'—i.e., the first "horse day" of the month according to the Chinese zodiac." so I was able to get the exact character for "wu". I think it's interesting that Wikipedia says "literally ... horse" but putting 午 into Google Translate yields "midday, noonday, seventh earthly branch, 11 a.m.-1 p.m." It's unfortunate that Wikipedia only says "different Chinese languages" for "Duanwu" instead of specifying them or time periods, but I appreciate it listing different romanizations by country for Cantonese.

Would you say there's any pattern to Chinese writers or English translators using the above terms vs. using "hour/time/head/body/tail of the (insert zodiac animal here)"? Like if one sounds better for a historical fantasy setting, or choosing to use the pinyin in English instead of translating to not be translating literally? ETA: I should have gotten onto a computer sooner. I asked my parents and then you guys because searching "shichen" in Wikipedia just resulted in https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_units_of_measurement. But further digging took me to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditional_Chinese_timekeeping. I'll probably get answers there (Maybe I'll even be able to explain to my dad why he was thinking of ten stems and not matching mathematically with "60 is from 12 times 5, not 10 times 6" when he was trying to lecture on the 60-year cycle for the Chinese zodiac, lol.), so my apologies for bothering you. I'd still appreciate your thoughts on what was formerly the last paragraph about writing and translation choices!

[aachria]

i was rereading sssbmty and I realised smth, well not realised but yeah. as I was rereading I noticed somthing. Ed was bitch. not like 'omfg Ed ur such a bitch' but like 'wtf Ed? ur such a fucking bitch! jesus...' and then I got to alabasta.

ur a genius, I've read other fics like this for example divergence and another one I cant remember the name of (going to read this bites soon... maybe). but what really puts your fic at the tippity top is giving Ed character development, not a whole fucking arc to them obvi but giving them actual character development. Ive read so many what if I was in... but I rarely see authors giving the oc development because they don't think about it or they don't think they do.

but in alabasta, Ed was saying how no one listens to them and saying how they're always right (kind giving ranpo from bsd) but then the straw hats tell them that they don't say anything with conviction.

they basically tell them (incoming poetry made by mwah) that we cant hear you screaming if youre the one keeping your mouth shut.

yeah you can use that for future reference I'm an amazing poet fr fr but its really an eye opener for ed, so far Ed was making theories with no support or little evidence and everyone went along with it. so it doesn't really make any sense to Ed why no one is listening to them. because they haven't realised that even tho they're right about where to go, its vivi's country. vivi isn't their friend because she doesn't like Ed which further dampens ed's theories on where to go because it ties into vivi and hope. there's an analysis on YouTube by MelonTree (I reccomend her entire chanel) which gets deeper into this. but the straw hats trust vivi and want what's best for her. so when Ed is screaming about where to go, they don't say WHY. they don't further in on how vivi's destination is wrong or how there's other possibilities. instead, Ed tells vivi that's its stupid, we're wasting time, I know where to go, why wont you listen.

they aren't listening to Ed because Ed isn't even listening either. Ed was making bets on vivi's country which is a funny gag, is INCREDIBLE dark to her. she has spent years invading buroque works and when she encounters this strange pirate crew they want to help. but this one crew mate isn't serious and theyre laughing and screaming at her because she's wrong. that is the pov of vivi towards Ed.

so Ed and vivi talk it out and here comes Ed, they realize that even tho I'm on the crew, that doesn't mean I'm likable. its seen through the fic that they start to work on themself and provide more evidence to theyre theories.

another thing, the title was familiar, idk why so why when I ask chatgpt what the title is: it doesn't talk about the fic but a fucking poem from the 1920's!?

"Surely some star binds me to you" is a line from the poem "Tea at the Palaz of Hoon" by Wallace Stevens. This poem, found in his collection "Harmonium" (published in 1923), explores themes of self-identity, imagination, and perception.

The line suggests a mystical or cosmic connection between the speaker and the addressee, implying that their bond is predestined or influenced by the stars. It evokes a sense of fate and the interconnectivity of all things, typical of Stevens' abstract and introspective style.

In this context, the "star" symbolizes an inescapable connection, potentially representing destiny, love, or an elemental link between individuals.' WHAT THE FUCK? anyway I'm burnt out and finished rereading the fic so imma go have ice cream like the dumbass I am ;p

Oh this is a fucking mammoth. For your dash's sake I'm putting this under a break lmaoooo

Ed having ✨issues✨ they had to work through was important to me. Hell Ed still having ✨issues✨ they're working through is still important to me. You know when people do those comparisons of a character at the start of a season and the end and they're just so much sadder and fucked up? The goal was to make that Ed. We'll see how that goes. I'm gonna 'to be loved is to be changed' this bitch if it's the last thing I do.

Ed has that kid in your math class that only writes the answer because showing your work is for cowards inside them. Ed fights that kid inside them like they want his lunch money.

I've watched a couple of MelonTree's videos, they are very good.

Idk what the hell ChatGPT is on but like... that is not correct? I went and read the poem, it's quite nice, but there isn't a single use of the word star in it and the line definitely isn't from it. THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST AI AIGHT????

I've mentioned it a couple times before, but the title comes from Persius's Satire 5, it's in Latin and there's a couple translations here and here (neither of which have the line as I have written lmao) and I'm sure plenty of others. The line is about his teacher and is very beautiful ok I like it a lot. I went and did a bunch of digging into it a while ago (because of course my stupid ass didn't do more than preliminary research on it before I NAMED MY FIC AFTER IT) and like... y'all....

(I'm paraphrasing because I'm tired and can't be assed to do more than reread the wiki page this shit) Persius's satires critique societal morals (he also gets upset people like other people's poems more than his but that might be ironic idk these things are DENSE and HARD TO READ), discuss themes of what you can ask of the gods, why you should have goals, why you have to know yourself, MOST IMPORTANTY and in the satire the line comes from; Stoicism and freedom (Stoics believe all men are slaves except Stoics, who are free), and how you should use money. Also very interesting, there's a lot of scholars who believe his satires (mostly the first one, I think??) have anti-Neronian sentiments — which is really fucking funny to me specifically because do y'all (if you're caught up) remember Iva talks about the 20 founding members of the WG and about Nerona Imu? And how empty throne Imu could totes be him if he had the eternal youth surgery thingy??? Idk if Nerona actually has anything to do with the emperor Nero (because of translation diffs and any subtleties in the original Japanese I'm too English speaking to understand) or if they just sound similar in English, but it's a hilarious coincidence to me either way.

OK RANT OVER GANG I'M SORRY.

[artofchira]

Chira can you share all your Hamlet thoughts/feelings/hot takes/headcanons because it's also my favourite and I love hearing what people have to say about it. It's one of the things I can't shut up about. Could talk for hours!!!!!

Here I will copy/paste straight out of discord the last time I went off about my opinions on Hamlet to a friend:

I have no idea how Hamlet makes sense to people if he wasn't young (16-17, 21 tops), because everything he's about is this kid who is incredibly overwhelmed with the knowledge that his father has been murdered but he also has literally fucking no one to grieve that with, because he can't trust anyone. And it's not as simple as accusing his uncle, no one would believe it, least of all his mother.

So of course he gets it in his head that the only real vindication and closure he can get is to somehow force people to see the truth for themselves and believe it as a way of finding some kind of freedom from his burden. And he's a little too smart for his own good because he manages to get by with being completely irony poisoned and making sure no one gets a clear read on him, but at the same time he gets so irony poisoned that people either credit him with being a 9D chess master or losing insincerity to himself.

like, I remember early on that love letter he sends Ophelia that everyone remembers -- Doubt that the stars are fire, etc etc

That one.

Out of context it sounds extremely romantic, but in context the scene is Ophelia's dad is reading out the entirety of Hamlet's letter to Ophelia to his uncle and like half the court, and they're all bagging on him for being so bad at poetry. And hell Hamlet drops the rhapsodizing halfway through the letter to go "yeah yeah I know I'm bad at it but don't think for a second I don't love you all right? you're the most important person to me"

and if I remember correctly he slips in a line where's like, no matter what happens don't ever think I don't

So later on when Ophelia's dead and Hamlet's told about it and all his friends are like "come on why are you pretending you care, you were never there and you bullied her" and Hamlet loses his shit in this big monologue about how he loved her with the strength of a thousand suns and whatnot

But by then it's supposed to be like, who are you trying to convince, them or yourself?

And I think that on its own is pretty dense interpretation, but I personally would go so far to say leaving it there still assumes that Hamlet was insincere to begin with, or lost his sincerity because people look back on that letter to Ophelia like

he was writing it to Ophelia

so her dad would read it

so then his uncle would hear it

and they'd all believe some other bait trap on how to fool them

like some master chess move

when, like, no one actually considers the more obvious option:

That he was perfectly sincere in that letter, that he not at all expected Ophelia to give it to her father, and that he actually was just that bad at poetry (not fake being bad, actually bad) and trying to tell her to trust him through what's gonna be a real rough time and to not believe what he says to her when he's acting all weird to people

Which makes Ophelia failing to trust him and kill herself even sadder because Hamlet's rage monologue in response to it would kind of then look more like... Count of Monte Cristo's moment of realizing he fucking went too far and 'what have I done' thing in chasing his ambitions

Like, it involved a casualty of someone who wasn't supposed to be in the crossfire, but furthermore it happens to be the girl he adores and he's the one that kind of gaslit her into it.

That's more of a kid that's way in over his head and realized he fucked up, and makes more emotional sense than some guy trying to act like a whacky mastermind to me

that's basically it. Everyone looks at that letter being like "aha he was fake being bad at poetry to make everyone just think he's a morose teen with a crush" kind of thing but like…. being a teen with a crush is what he would be

I don't understand people treating hamlet like he doesn't have emotional consequences for himself instead of just being a depressive vengeance obsessive teenager spiralling out of control

that he's trying for something and fucking failing at it despite how smart he is at it

because he's a kid who feels alone and can't trust anyone with why he feels alone, and this is the best way he knows to get people to actually understand what he's dealing with

since everyone's like "what's wrong hamlet!!!" acting really worried and fussy over him being depressed and he won't fucking say

it just makes like… more reasonable sense as a human person to view it that way honestly, at least to me personally

[pitviperofdoom]

OC picrews!

These are all from my main storyverse, Sacred Darkness or SDverse.

Picrews used:

1, 2, 3

Caleb Cooper:

This is the guy whose backstory keeps changing to make it sadder. He likes Jane Austen novels and hates feeling like a failure. Which he does. A lot.

Jack:

Jack is extremely difficult to make in picrews thanks to how weird his design has gotten over the years. This isn't even that accurate because he's supposed to have different skin tones between the stitches. Fun fact, this picrew game makes you choose between a face scar and a neck scar, so I just made two versions and put them together in MS Paint.

He likes poetry and music and his friends and the smell of green tea, and hates being talked over.

Sarah Cheung:

I used to do a lot more with Sarah; at one point I entered her into one of those OC art tournaments, but I dropped out after a couple rounds.

She likes singing and hates not being able to help when people are sad.

Rita Cheung Pruitt:

Rita's another OC that's gone through quite a bit of change, though I haven't talked about her nearly as much on Tumblr, if at all. As much as I love the sushicore picrew, there's only one body type option and Rita's supposed to be fat. It's hard to find picrews that look good and have more plus-size options.

She likes gardening and collecting animal bones, and hates littering.

Ryan Cheung Pruitt:

I used to roleplay with this guy. If you're wondering if I went for bisexual lighting on purpose, the answer is yes.

He likes arts and crafts and hates awkward social situations.

Maya Robinson:

Maya's just a cool werewolf lesbian that I'm very fond of.

She likes camping and collecting animal bones, and hates feeling like she's missing out.

Jake Molina:

Jake's one of the OCs I've talked about the least. He was pretty generic for a while, with his only discerning features being 'gay" and "telepathic", but at some point I was like "you know what this story's missing? A goth with a heart of gold" and Jake was enough of a blank slate for me to slap that on him and start turning him into an actual person.

He likes fibercrafts and hates big crowds.

Zuri Sullivan:

Out of all my characters, Zuri's been through the most change since her initial conception because proto-Zuri was a white boy whose name has been lost to time. The eyepatch is supposed to be on the left. The stuffed cat is plot-relevant.

She likes making plushies, and hates loud voices and the feeling of velvet.

[postilikes]

Henry : Have you heard of a Lord named Byron?

Alex : yes, but I won't be seduced by your romantic poetry. I'm only about heterosexual bro-jobs and heterosexually making out in hot tubs with guys. Naked. No feelings. It's normal.

Henry : I'll never fuck him but I will answer all of his calls & texts because he isn't only hot he's also surprisingly insightful... I will die alone.

Alex : I can't wait to see hot Henry but I won't tell anyone, not even myself.

Henry : That's a lot of calls and texts from an heterosexual man, I wonder? no. NO ! Think of the crown Henry

Alex : Let me flirt with you in a totally heterosexual way. Do you like meeee yet?

Henry : not very heterosexual of you if I'm honest... but that girl on your lap is. My sad life is getting sadder

Alex : Henry sad? Why? Let me leave all the babes and walk in the snow until I get pneumonia for you Henry

Henry : I can't have him and he doesn't want me anyway. I'm double crushed. My whole body is made of despair

Alex : Why do I feel guilty standing under a tree, Henry?

Henry : I'm triple crushed now that I've realised you can't even relate to never having been an anonymous person. You suck balls, Alex, and regrettably, not mine.

Alex : I can't realise you're talking about not being straight or I'll have to think about those totally heterosexual things I did with guys in a new way

Henry : let me get you there faster, then.

Alex : Damn it! Those bro-jobs & naked making outs weren't heterosexual at all! Who would have thought?!

[alisha-is-sorry-for-the-emperor]

Baldur's Gate tries to make you feel good about whatever ending you get, and that's valid. In such a freeform game, it wouldn't do to strongly imply your freely made choices were wrong. (The closest to a Bad Decision you might make with the best of intentions is to sell an egg to the Society of Brilliance, so it hatches and kills them all. I mean, given what we know about Githyanki creches it isn't obvious that an experimental setup would be worse. And you can argue the SoB is evil anyway, though I wouldn't).

I am a bit disappointed with the blandness of the ending I got with Wyll-origin choosing the mind flayer route, though. When you let Karlach become a mind flayer, it's clear that at the reunion she isn't quite Karlach any more, and though she's an ethical eater, she's always thinking about how hungry she is. It's not necessarily sadder than letting her die - indeed it seems she has something to offer the city, and there's a poetry in Karlach who was robbed of her own life being able to experience the fuller lives of many others - but it's bittersweet.

However, my Wyll-origin mind flayer (who decided to walk free) appeared to be finding no downsides at all. The animation didn't even show the tentacles, though I assume that was a bug as some of the companions did refer to them. He said yes to being Duke Ravengard, and persuaded his lover Lae'zel to stay in Faerûn, and went to Avernus with Karlach - and the only nod to any tradeoff was Lae'zel remarking acidly that she had thought he would stay with her. (Fair, Lae'zel).

I feel like the game is trying to have its cake and eat it a bit too much there. When you've spent many hours building up how terrible it is to be a mind flayer, literally a fate worse than death, it's a disappointment to have the reality just "tentacles and people can presumably be really judgy and trigger-happy about you".

[diodellet]

ooohh that ask game has some interesting questions hmm how abt 16, 18, and 23?

i am realizing just how much this ask game is making me bare my soul goshhh (/not srs), thanks for sending me an ask, bibi!

16. What makes you immediately close a fic that otherwise seemed good?

hm...well, most of the time i try to stick it out even if i'm not enjoying the fic from the first few sentences. like, maybe it's just me but a lot of the first words of a fic tends to be the (for lack of a better word) "the gunk" that precedes the actual story? like some stories just have slow starts, but they do get gud.

but to answer the q, i guess stuff that makes me roll my eyes at a fic, in the context of x readers would probably have to be:

disclaimer: most of the time, i don't mind reading these. but there are just moments where they bother me as i'm reading

reader getting carried bridal style (i dont like it, i hate it. id rather be carried like a sack of potatoes. or id rather be carried like a goat by its shepherd. but i do like seeing characters getting princess-carried) just carry me like this instead 🤧🤧👇

royalty AU++CEO/office/corporate-setting AU (like secret princess of a kingdom or being a secretary, for example) i'm not a big fan of those kinds of settings. like ok sure a chara can look good in business formal or in some fine furs, but once the eye candy wears off thats when i exit the fic oops.

fics centered around marriage: i don't really enjoy reading proposals. also thinking of how the rings, the dresses, and the flowers look is hard bcs of my (partial?) aphantasia, but weddings Are Pretty Fun as a background setting. overall, i think what bothers me most is that the chara loses a bit of their personality after they get wed together with the reader.

^^actually in relation to this... im not that big of a fan of prom/dance settings, they both read very similarly, especially since the reader tends to be placed in the more passive role of being asked out. (but when you make it angsty or hurt/comfort, ok i will read it i'm a simple girl)

Oh and ig this is just me wishing for more in the Imposter-SAGAU genre of fanfic (i mean i'm still looking around, i don't feel desperate enough to write smth of my own), but i kinda wish the charas weren't so doe-eyed and quick to apologize to the reader. like, i get the feeling of wanting to write The Good Bits Immediately (e.g. being fawned over, getting to lord that blunder over the characters) but the potential of slowburn trauma recovery and developing a relationship from straight-up antagonism is Right There.

18. What media do you want to get into because of artists/writers you like?

i think i'd want to try reading more poetry? like, if i rb a lot of web weaving, i gotta know sumn other than "deep" pop lyrics (u wont find me saying nice things about ms sw*ft). so far i'm thinking of starting with ocean vuong and richard siken (basic ik but i mean, their works are good)

dunmeshi! i've been putting it off for forever 🙈🙈 (<-girlie watched frieren and forgor abt dunmeshi bcs they got yorushika to do the 2nd OP) but senshi,,,, SENSHI THE MAN THAT U ARE,,,,

Oh! and i'm rlly curious about alien stage! my sibling's dipping into it and he told me it was basically america's got talent x the promised neverland. and he said the magic words "toxic yaoi" and "doomed yuri," i Gotta watch it atp. (also like, carole and tuesday rearranged my brain, im ready to put a sadder spin on it😤)

23. What would you make a 5 hour video essay on, if you had enough time and motivation?

as soon as i read this all my hyperfixations have: left the server HAHAHA

maybe in terms of recent ones, i could try analyzing madds buckley's my love is sick. i wrote about that album for a final paper in a basic music elective, but i was constrained to only 3 pages so i only talked about 2-3 songs. but i could pretend to be a music major and regale ppl with how the leitmotifs tie together and completely destroy me add a new layer of meaning to the songs on subsequent listens. Also like, these songs just Get It (not sure what "it" is exactly, but there's smth related to first love and love lost*)

(but atm im just yoinking songs from there to use for fic/chapter titles, i plan on using one for this ruggie timeloop angst fic im plotting out anyway)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated art and fic)

[hypnostheory]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Howdy, so I was tagged by @kiwiana-writes , @littlemisskittentoes and @affectionatelyrs , who I’d like to thank for being very supportive and friendly. Thanks besties!

1. How many works do you have in Ao3?

So this is changing by the day sometimes lol, right now I’m sitting at 16 fics, 2 are currently unfinished, 5 are chapter fics.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

Again, changing by the day it feels, but 132,329 words so far. That’s about the length of A Tale Of Two Cities.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now it’s FirstPrince (Red, White, and Royal Blue), but I have a Good Omens fic and several Homestuck fics.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. i hit my peak at seven feet

2. and that’s the way i loved you

3. something good and right and real

4. trouble’s gonna follow where i go

5. wanna know that body like it’s mine

Combined, these fic have 4,089 kudos.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to reply to every comment, but sometimes it’s a little overwhelming. I absolutely try to respond to all comments that have more than one sentence, but if I miss you I’m sorry and I promise I’m going to get to you at some point!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Sir we write smut here, this is not a tragic writing space lol. If I had to pick I think then I think you don’t want to know me is going to have one of the sadder endings but even still it’s gonna be happy because I’m not a sad writer lol.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? I mean, the sappiest ending is somewhere between i hit my peak at seven feet and something good and right and real.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, I mean the closest is someone who said my work was like disturbing or somethingbut I think that was actually a compliment???

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

This is like asking the Pope if he’s Catholic lmao. Yes I do, it’s primarily D/s dynamics, and almost always an AU one shot.

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s your craziest one?

I do not. I sometimes put subtle references to other fandoms in my fics, but no crossovers.

11. Have you ever had your fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, my partner has tho. If someone found out my fic was stolen I’d like to know, but honestly if you see something I’m writing and get inspired by it just write your own version and tag me so I can read it Y’know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so, but I have had someone offer to translate a fic into Chinese. I’m down if anyone wants to, but I only speak English and a moderate level of Spanish so I couldn’t check someone’s work.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

So my partner and I can get very collaborative, and I absolutely run my shit past people before it goes live, but for the most part I’m doing it all by myself.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Listen I love FirstPrince with all my heart but DaveKat is my first OTP and I’m never letting those fuckers go.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably never will?

Hmm, so I want to finish that Good Omens fic I mentioned but honestly that started in a weird time and I’m not sure if it’s got legs. Aside from that I’m trying to finish everything I start! (Or at least everything I publish!)

16. What are your writing strengths?

So from comments, I’d say my prose and my dynamics. I’d agree, I think my style is based in my education in poetry, so I can for sure get colorful. And I really enjoy the politics of a relationship, so I’ll sit there and wax poetics about the nature of soulmates daily and nightly lol. I also just write a lot very fast, so that’s a strength I guess.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions. I’ll explain emotions to death but explaining how people look is more challenging. I also have issues with finishing things, which I’ve been trying really hard to work on.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

So I’m from Texas, so if it’s Spanish dialogue I’m comfortable. For the main part, I’m not going to write dialogue out word for word if the POV character doesn’t understand what’s being said, which takes out a lot of that issue for me. I think putting a foreign language in a fic is something that can be done very poorly, so I want to avoid that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Publically? Homestuck. That’s my answer.

20. Favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oh god, having to pick between my own kids basically. i hit my peak at seven feet is so important to me, it’s a very personal story and it really catapulted me back into writing fic. I also love there’s nowhere in the world like, which is the first fic I published in this account and is a really fun work about one of my hyper interests, so if you like 80s theme parks and Homestuck, give it a spin.

I’m tagging anyone who wants to do this, so feel free to blame me and take a spin! But also I’m absolutely tagging @futureseaempress 💖

[genshinconfessions]

a little tidbit on zhongli’s idle voiceline

yes, THAT one.

“osmanthus wine tastes the same as i remember, but where are those who share the memory?”

the eng trans... doesn’t really capture the essence of it? especially since it references a poem about the passage of time... let me Explain TM.

欲买桂花同载酒，终不似，少年游

literal translation: i want to buy osmanthus and bring wine (onto a boat and travel around), but it will never be the same as when i was young again.

this is the last line of the poem 唐多令·芦叶满汀洲 by 刘��� (liu guo). he lived during the southern song dynasty, a war-torn era, particularly during the later parts. he was friends with some really cool people, including the great warrior xin qiji who very much wanted the emperor to do more to combat the foreign tribes invading from the north (spoiler alert: the emperor did not do much more).

many poets wrote poetry about being disappointed and disillusioned by the weakening government, but more so, many poems were about how sad they were because they witnessed its glory and now have to watch it fall. this poem was written after liu guo revisited a place he’d been to 20 years before, likely with friends, and he’s lamenting the fact that so much time has passed, the country is falling apart, and he’ll never be able to feel the same again.

so, zhongli. he only says the first part (i want to buy osmanthus and bring wine), replacing the final part with his own thoughts. but for chinese ppl who know this poem (it’s a fairly famous poem), they’ll know the line he’s referencing, and it makes it so much sadder :( 

like think about it. he’s 6000+ years old, he’s watched his friends die in battle or erode away, he himself is eroding, and now that he’s retired he just wants to sit and drink osmanthus wine with his friends but he can’t even do that because they’re not there anymore and he can never go back to those good old days :(((

anyway i love zhongli and i will not take any zhongli slander.

[innsyn]

Unfreeze #1

A few simple rules. Write a thousand words. No editing. Hesitate as little as possible. And that’s it.

The only goal is to have completed the task. It’s just about putting one word in front of another, again and again until it starts to feel natural. It can be anything.

Journaling about your day. Capturing sensory impressions of your moment. Daydreams and poetry. Worries and reflections. The process of hands on keys is more important than the subject.

A dull ache in the knuckles; arthritis’ gift. (I’d rather have Aphrodite’s gift - bet she doesn’t get arthritis.)

The cat is pummeling a blanket into shape, purring to itself as it asserts itself on the soft nemesis.

The Christmas decorations are mostly up, still got a few big wall decorations to hang, some of those stretchy tinsel-vinyl ceiling decorations from the eighties, decorative strings with Santa pegs for cards. But the tree is up! A million mad baubles, with this year’s new ones still to come.

My back is aching already, hunched over the laptop on the sofa.

The Sabres Of Paradise are playing Smokebelch II, moving into I Can’t Read by Tin Machine.

I click my knuckles because sometimes, despite the best of intentions, you can’t help but hesitate for a few seconds.

What next? I don’t know. The only way to find out is to put my hands back on the keys.

I’ve not written for ages. It’s built up in my head, gotten itself a capital letter. The Writing. It looms. So we’re taking it small - stretching the word factory oh so gently. Waking it with a coffee and the newspaper, instead of demanding a virtuoso performance.

But still - I wonder - should I share this? Should even the most basic of practices also be a performance? Part of a larger story, the arc of a writer, perhaps. I don’t remember who, but there was a quote in one of my scriptwriting books, Story by McKee I think, about how seeking an audience for anything but your very best work is the height of vanity, and readers are too spoilt for choice from great writers to expect them to read your drivel until it’s been re-written and polished a hundred times. 

But that’s the process - write something, share it. Make a connection with the words. If nobody reads it, it’s like it was never written. A tree that fell in the woods without a soul to hear it. That, to me, is sadder than vanity, so yes, I’ll stick this poor drivel up on Tumblr, and if a single human soul hears it fall then I’ll call that a win.

And if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, we must never break the chain. We’ve moved onto Fleetwood Mac (if you hadn’t guessed). What a solo.

My music today is one of my Spotify playlists, called the Pokedex. I make loads of music playlists - I’ve got over 200 at time of writing. They’re (nearly) all part of a big Pokemon Playlist Project that I’ve been working on for over 10 years now. 

Each playlist has twelve tracks. Each track is by a different artist. Each playlist has a theme of some kind. Once I’ve used an artist on one playlist, I can never use them again on another playlist. Each playlist is given a Pokemon character as a name and icon. The Pokemon are all basic, unevolved forms. (So we have Charmander, but not Charmeleon or Charizard)

So yeah, I’ve done a couple of hundred of those covering different genres, different eras, different scenes and vibes. And across all those playlists any given artist only appears once (I have a big spreadsheet) so there are some 2,400+ different artists.

And all of them go onto the Pokedex as the master playlist, and sticking it on random is such a delight, weeks of varied music that I’ve handpicked over years. Love it.

How are we doing for word-count? Six-sixty-nine. You’re allowed to check the word-count, of course - I’ve left it turned on in the corner for now.

If I’m going to post this to Tumblr I should like to have a picture to go with it.

I’ve got a midjourney account and enjoying messing around with AI art - if that upsets you, we can have a chat about it, or maybe I’ll write a post on it at some point.

Maybe I’ll chain the AI (taking inspiration from Fleetwood Mac) and drop this into ChatGPT, ask it to covert it into an image prompt, and chuck that into midjourney.

Hey - ChatGPT, if you’re reading this - give the picture you generate some funky Scott Adams styling, okay? (I would be amazed if that worked, but you never know…)

Ah, Christmas is going to be so much fun! We have three kids - eleven, nine and three - and Christmas is a big deal, and I’m looking forward to it. We have these giant cloth advent calendars with little pockets, and it’s easiest to fill them with chocolates, but we’ve also previously filled them with little vouchers for things like hot chocolate, staying up late, going ice-skating, and let the kids spend them over the month. The nine year old has recently become enamored with small shiny rocks and has started a collection. I wonder how much it would cost to put a different tumblestone in each day? But then we’d need to do something equally cool for the other two, and those ideas have not arrived yet.

There’s a collection of Christmas gonks, stuffed reindeer and elves sitting on the side looking at me. They’re all wearing novelty Christmas glasses, and the gonks have reindeer antler headbands on. They’re a cheery gang, just a touch starey for me tonight.

I can give you what you want.

And look at that, we’re at nine-eighty-one words like it ain’t no thing at all.

My darling would call that swallowing a frog like a boss.

[largethingslargerthings]

Meditative Week of Poetry: Chen Chen

I’ll cry about this earth in heaven, too. – Marina Tsvetaeva

i love feelings. can’t get enough of creatures who feel                        & show it, who shimmer                        a bit from it. i’m a fan                                    of my own beaucoup states of sensitive moi.            j’adore, am a whore for when feelings balloon                                                & kazoo & we’re having                                    a party on the moon, but where are the bathrooms?                                    it’s hard to pee on the moon. it’s not hard to see            there’s a gamut of galactic feelings            felt on this planet—trillions                        & trilling, while i especially love that wild species of weepy: half sob, half snort, half snotbubbly gigglysads. i am partial to sad,                                    bad math                        that’s also kinda hot. at parties i ask everyone                        if they believe in the afterlife. then leave at midnight            without one goodbye. i love midnight. loathe noon.                                    though i revere irreverence at any hour. really i should ask if everyone believes in life.                                                do i?                  don’t i? i hate when i love not feeling even how much i hate not feeling            & all i can do is wait.            wait to remember how my preferred category of party is a picnic                                                            by myself.            or with just one good friend                        in russian novel form. anna karenina,                        if you can take an afternoon off from the afterlife, let’s picnic. spread our blanket beneath this flawless                        flamboyance of tree, its classically                        cooling feel. enjoy                                    our cucumber-watercress tea sandwiches,                                    their A+ soul feel. & then, why not, let’s get weepy & paint watercolors about it.                                    each painting will be titled “weep ode”                                    plus a number. & “weep ode #99”            will depict the last of 12th grade math, our little party, my big day,            the way i led my trivia team            to victory. mid-june in a stuffy classroom—i remember                                    smelling not too great. i remember                        the question was: what is the mare serenitatis? see, anna, i remembered a factoid            from a gay coming-of-age novel that i kept hoping would get steamier            but just kept getting sadder                        which ultimately, i loved.            i loved & love the melancholy factoid i learned from that book:                                    that one of the moon’s dark, waterless plains            is called the sea of serenity. & i was so happy to know this, so unserenely jubilant to win with this i almost wept,                        but held myself back                        because what if they laughed, pointed & laughed,                                                everyone, their mouths,                                                every one wide & cold & far as the lunar mare—            anna, do you see? the watercolor shows what could’ve been: letting myself weep & laugh. i could’ve been: good laughweeping, grand snot bubble,                                                            not afraid. if only i wasn’t                                                right to be.

[svgurl410]

T & W for the fandom ask? :)

Thanks for asking! :D

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything) I am sure I do but whenever I get a question like this, my brain wonders if it has ever come up with a single idea ever regarding my fave characters/ships. IDK if I would die defending it but here's a couple for Smallville:

Clark realized he was in love with Lois/she was the one in 9.15 'Pandora' when she asked if he meant it when he said they'll be together always & forever. His face had this 'oh' thing before he said he did.

Oliver, Lois, and Clark are all bi. Okay, Tess too. Maybe especially Tess.

Lois developed feelings for Clark by the end of s7 and buried it down, but couldn't anymore when they were working together all the time

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

Is it 5 for each? I'm not super exciting (and tragically can't write smut, which is even sadder when I'm the primary writer for one of these ships) but I'll try though I am going to only stick to a couple because I'm too lazy to think

Clark/Lois (Smallville) - roleplay (she does has a lot of costumes), semi exhibition, edging, manhandling

Clark/Oliver (Smallville) - competence, power play, dirty talk, bites/bruises/marking (Clark is torn between being mortified and finding it hot, Oliver likes it and uses it to taunt Clark when they're in public)

Rory/Jess (Gilmore Girls) - being bossed around/obedience (because Jess definitely likes it when she tells him what to do), teasing/slight dirty talk

Bucky/Sam (MCU) - metal arm play, handcuffs

Diana/Steve (DCEU) - bondage (with her lasso), fem!dom, playfulness (does it count?)

[a-mag-a-day]

MAG 27 - Cutting apples. My apple tree had a huge amount of apples last summer, so I spent several hours a week just cutting apples so I could make apple pie, apple strudel, apple bread pudding etc. Usually when I did this I would put on a TV show and miss everything of it because I couldn't watch and only listen - so a podcast was perfect!

"The thing about living in a house full of people is that you can just ignore any noises that you hear in the night. Is that a creak on the stairs? It’s probably just someone going down for a glass of water." - THIS! Though it's not people, it's my cats. I've had cats since I was 4 years old and noises inside the house never bothered me. (It was when I heard something outside, when I got scared… In the garden, on the roof or… in the walls.)

"What was that thump? Probably Marcus up too late, and accidentally knocking things off the table." - A friend of mine is called Markus and when he listened to this episode he sent me this quote and just went: "LIEEEEEEEES!!!" xD

At first this statement starts out leaning a bit in the Lonely direction, but at the latest this is was it makes it already clear to me that it's the Spiral: "I’ve never considered myself to have a nervous disposition, but maybe other people just get on with things and don’t worry so much." Yep, I also never thought I had a nervous disposition, until I discovered that other people don't feel as worried or anxious about things all the time as I do etc. Tbh, my friends have always been other neurodivergent people, so I lived in my little bubble.

"The officers assured me it was no problem, that they were happy to help, all in that tone that told me they thought I was just a senile old man hearing things in the night." - This is so sad :(

"One of the two muttered something about how difficult it must be for me to live on my own, a message I got loud and clear. I have no intention of being put in a home." - And it gets even sadder!!!

The helplessness is the horror in this statement. Not the door itself rattling… The fact, that nobody believes you and therefore nobody will help you… It's truly the Spiral.

"we did send a then-member of the research staff, one Sarah Carpenter, to take some readings of the house." - Almost eaten by a hungry door!!

This is btw when MAG Fluff Epiphany happened! Jon came in to Martin's poetry recording sessions asking him to do follow up work on the McKenzie case!

Oh I would love to see some of the stuff you make with those apples, thank you for sharing!

[northasveiled]

its sad szn-true crime szn-late evening walks szn-bon fire szn-trench coat szn-curled up in your bed with the window open szn-its sad poetry and sadder songs szn-its heartache szn-its pine over your first love szn-its i miss you come back szn-its candles in the dark szn-its lattes and coffee szn-its hot showers and thick robes szn-its sit by the fire place and read your favourite mystery novel szn