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bugsbenefit · 1 year ago

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It’s because some of us can’t stand fanon mike he’s not will or el at the end of the day it’s not our fault the duffers already messed up his character arc long ago. some of us aren’t really interested in mike like that and to be frank I hate how much trauma people are putting on him as if he isn’t a privileged middle class *maybe cis maybe not* kid with insecurities cause he can’t play hero anymore like he used to. Fanon mike is retaliation to whatever we got the last two season from the character and I get it, but why are we keep acting like he’s important to vecna or the plot like that he’s just els boyfriend and wills crush at this point.

You don’t agree with this most likely but idc I’m just here to let this out for those who sympathize with mike. He’s genuinely not a interesting character and if Will wasn’t in love with him I wouldn’t look his way.

Hello? Will solo stan that doesn't get the show in My asks? more likely than you think

i'm sorry but you clearly sent this knowing i wouldn't agree with you and you don't sound like you want a conversation so... why did you send this? was it just to tell me there's people that don't care about Mike? because shockingly, i know that already, the influx in open Mike hate was why everyone doubled down on his character being important and purposeful last week in the first place

i'm genuinely confused on how you're watching the show, though. i mean, at least you're admitting you're only in it for Will so i guess you're aware of your bias and shortcomings?

also lmao sorry but *maybe cis maybe not*?? are you trying to say being queer in the midwest 80s in a small town with a conservative environment wasn't that bad or damaging or worth elaborating on because he's "probably cis" and the family is middle class? hello? newsflash just in, the queers need to stop complaining about how scared they are of coming out and potential consequences of it, if you're cis you're basically getting cishet privileges anyway. i'm really not sure what you meant to say here, you okay? also, aren't All the characters cis??

the vendetta you have against "fanon Mike" is fascinating tbh. what exactly is "fanon Mike" to you, bc the ask suggests it's just Mike with any motivations and 3dimensional writing orrrr? also thank you for telling me that Mike El and Will are separate characters! i almost forgot! i really needed the reminder that these extremely different characters aren't actually the same person or re-skins. thanks for your service, you really showed the evil Mike-sympathizers today o7

but you know what, sure, i'll indulge this a bit, i like talking about the show after all, you don't have to read this ofc, i feel like we're both aware we won't find common ground here

saying that Mike isn't important to the plot is batshit crazy sorry not sorry. not even talking about s5, it's just plain wrong in general and i'm assuming you haven't seen the show in ages

even right from the beginning Mike is established as the first MC and then proceeds to be the main pov for the entirety of s1. in universe Mike is the parties dm unofficial leader and according to Will "heart of the party", out of universe Mike is the only character that has established relationships and evolving conflicts with every single party member and even most adults like Hopper and Joyce. i don't know how you're watching the show to take away that Mike is unimportant and a support character

ST is an ensemble show and Mike is one of the characters, alongside El, Joyce and Will that consistently fills an MC role. (while also being one of the only ones to outright get referred to as one of the mains by actors and writers) where you got the idea from that Mike is a useless character people are stupid to care about is beyond me

if you're genuinely going into s5 hoping for Mike to be as unimportant and off-your-screen as possible i feel like you're setting yourself up for the disappointment of the century. i feel stupid just listing the reasons for why Mike is clearly going to be an important player in s5 because of how obvious they are but oh well

Mike is the first protagonist ever introduced and the final season that wants to go "full circle" Has to finish his arc satisfyingly for it to work

Mike is Will's love interest, a character that's already confirmed to be more of a main on screen again, so focusing on both parties of the ship is necessary to get them together

also Mike is still in a relationship? if he's supposed to go from dating El to suddenly dating a guy that's also his childhood bff you need to elaborate on his feelings. otherwise Will's romance is also going to fall flat and i'm sure you don't want that anon

Mike is part of the people that only came back to town after everything in s4 went down already and part of the group that seems to be the main focus in s5 (see the hill shot)

also just regarding the hill shot, Mike is center stage here (and also between his two "love interests"), totally accidental i'm sure

also the only character Will told about Vecna being alive in s4 and already swore to kill him with Will, also totally not a s5 set up don't worry

and before i go on here, aside from the writers themselves mentioning Mike as a main in multiple interviews David talked about the s5 mains a few days ago and Obviously Mike is up there along with El, Will and Joyce, exactly the people you'd expect

i don't understand how people are trying so hard to claim that there's nothing interesting about Mike to get into, as if even just s4 itself doesn't go out of it's way to set up an excess of potential conflict for s5

obvious relationship drama with El left hanging after an "i love you" monologue which we didn't see a response to yet

feelings for his best friend while he's still dating his gf

the unresolved painting lie

also the sexuality issue that comes with being queer/gay, that's been going back to s1. also made more severe by the show going out of it's way to repeatedly hammer home that the Wheelers are conservative and don't have close relationships with their kids

"you're the heart", speech about leading the party and bringing everyone together. he can't just face into the bg after Will gave him that talk, there needs to be payoff

the whole hellfire thing that's set up with the members names and faces being broadcast as "satanists" and the potential reason for everything that's been going on ON TV, sure that won't have any consequences am i right?

the Vecna plot itself, s4 makes it a point to have Will tell Mike and only Mike about Vecna being alive and the two of them agree to kill him right before the season ends

and that's just the obvious set ups s4 leaves us with, not even touching on the fact that Mike's pov has been withheld for essentially 2 seasons. which is something you can do and ignore, but only if the characters don't have anything going on during that time. Mike meanwhile changes drastically in these two seasons and we never get to learn what actually happened, why he's suddenly so set on growing up and getting gfs in s3, why he's suddenly such an uninterested bf in s4, why he suddenly feels weird about kissing El in the s3 finale after already having made out with her. there's a lot happening and we only see the fall out of it, we don't get Mike's pov. you call it "bad writing" but that's a picture book writing 101 set up, if you don't see that i don't know what to tell you

but i feel like you said everything already, i'm just rambling because i like talking. we probably won't find any common ground here. you only tolerate Mike because you like Will and that's that. not everyone has to care about every aspect of a show, however, i don't get why you're going to other blogs to tell them about your personal preference and about how you don't like one of the MCs. this is an ensemble show, it's not the El-show, and it's not the Will-show either, both of these takes are equally wrong

i don't know what the ideal s5 would look like to you, but if it turned out Will was the only important thing and the only character we focused on it would be absolute ass and horrible writing

Lucas just lost Max and left him with a shit ton of trauma, also Erica's gone through so much too. Max is still lost in a coma. El is distraught over not being able to save Max and now not find her anymore. Dustin just lost Eddie right in front of him too. there's a military presence in Hawkins now, the hellfire club fallout still hasn't happened, and so on and on. (also things like the "Nancy love triangle" still need time to be resolved too)

there's a lot s5 has to focus on to be a good wrap up for all these arcs. and yes, handling Mike's arc well is also part of that, shockingly

also ending this with a: you know people are allowed to like and care about character even if you don't give a shit about that character, right? claiming a central character with a ton of conflict set up isn't interesting is well withing your right and i won't change your mind on that, i'm aware, but going after people for actually caring about the conflicts the show is setting up isn't the move either. not everyone is obligated to share your views, especially when they're this far out there. and i feel like you knew that going in here

#help what a take #no hard feelings anonie we clearly knew there wouldn't be a consensus from the start here lmao #but oh well i'm still kind of surprised to see these takes ngl #ask tag

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pebblefanposting · 1 year ago

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@princesseuphemia1007 on YouTube

I couldn't agree more about all the family stuff! I always hated how conservatives talked about 'family values' because I know they only mean biological family and that system of family is very oppressive. You never realize how many things in life large and small are gatekept behind having that biological family at your back. If you are disowned or have to escape your biological family because they are cruel or dangerous then it's really really difficult to live, and even when you make new friends it's hard to explain to them why you can't do certain things the way they can with their family connections and they start to distrust you because of that too. I'm really lucky I got adopted(unofficially) into a kind family 2 years ago that actually do treat me the same as they would a regular family member and my life has never been so easy. The amount of difference it makes is indescribable. Especially when it comes to finances. I can finally save money now and I don't have to live in constant fear of homelessness and trafficking. Even if I lost my job today and needed time to find a new one unable to pay rent for a while I would be just fine. No one would kick me out and I would even have free help getting a new job from my new family not because they hate me for losing my first job and want me to make more money for them but because they actually care about me and want me to do well. Which also makes it easier to care about the job I do have already and to do it well because I know it's for a good purpose. If I can make enough money to I also want to make use of the security I have now to help my other long time friends who are still trapped in abusive families and can't escape because they have no where else to go and no way to live otherwise. When people have the freedom to expand their families beyond just who they're biologically related to it makes family into something that can actually be based in love which is how it was always supposed to be.

The new Philosophy Tube video is out )

A Man Plagiarised My Work: Women, Money, and the Nation

youtube

#youtube comments #princesseuphemia1007

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seththemusehub · 4 years ago

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about time for a new one of these...one that has a proper explanation of where I am, and how things are going.

tl;dr: my name is Seth, I’m a queer trans dude with a laundry list of disabilities. I live with a super conservative family that is kind of forcing me back into the closet, despite me being Out of it for nearly 15 years, among worse things. I moved here from an even worse situation, and am hoping to someday move from here to a more stable and happy place with my best friend who lives across the country. I super need help for that to happen while I wait on disability to pull through, which could be any day now, but also could be several years from now, from what I understand of the system.

longer story is basically, I moved from an emotionally volatile home where we constantly struggled to feed ourselves and argued and screamed constantly, to here. I eat much more reliably, and there isn’t shouting, but I am also consistently told I am just not trying when my disabilities prevent me from doing things, am pushed to go back into the closet because family members ‘don’t understand’ and ‘struggle to adapt’ to things like my name change and using words like ‘he’ in reference to me. my stepdad, after knowing full well that I am disabled and struggle to take care of myself by doing basic tasks many days, has expressed frustration with my inability to do basic people or adult things on a reliable basis. my grandfather no longer speaks to me beyond short responses, often ignoring me unless specifically prompted to respond by my mother. and my mother is fond of ‘jokingly’ suggesting that I go without dinner, go back to my room so they don’t have to deal with me, and telling me that I am ‘expensive’ while going out of her way to do anything for me, like pick up meds or buy hair dye that I expressed an interest in obtaining someday after I have money to do so on my own. they’re all strong supporters of Trump, as well.

I’m struggling to feel hopeful for the future pretty often here. I want to leave, but I have nowhere near enough funds to do so, considering I have half of my belongings across the state still, and the place I want to move is all the way across the country, as well as needing funding to get into a place to start. my best friend, Kat, is willing to move in with me somehow. Kat has work, and we’re hoping to get into a house, we’re looking at a few of them, but we kind of need a lot of help, both to get things started on that end, and also to get me from Oregon to Florida.

at this point, we have a few options, and we’re not sure which is more cost effective because everything wants to know how much you have, when you’ll be leaving, etc. etc. and we’re just looking for quotes to aim for at the moment. I’ll need assistance in getting my things packed and moved, so a moving service is likely going to be required, and then I’ll need to get over there, which likely means a plane or train ticket if we have movers take my things all the way there. on the other hand, there’s things like a uhaul, and Kat driving us all that way, which is difficult and stressful, but also means we can stop places along the way and decompress a little bit. there are those storage container things they ship across the country as well, which would also require some kind of transit for me to get there too...

first things first though, we need funds to get a place. it’s super cheaper to buy a two bedroom house and deal with the mortgage than it is to pay rent, where we’re looking. average two bedroom place with the accommodations I need is about $600-800 per month on a mortgage, rather than $950-1500 per month in rent. both are around the same initial cost with a down payment, versus first and last month’s rent, deposits, fees, etc. we’re assuming around $5,000 for a down payment.

even if you can’t donate, you can help by reblogging this, sharing elsewhere, waving down family members with money, @ celebrities, any of that. as for links...

my paypal (has my deadname): https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/seththemuse my gofundme, which I can’t update fully with all of this information because my family has the page’s URL: https://www.gofundme.com/f/moving-fund-assistance

#OOC post is OOC #long post #please help #donations #ask to tag #I want to move so bad #lol save me

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remythologise · 3 years ago

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Hello! I found your blog via you amazingly summarizing all that's going on with the spn drama. Due to my schedules, rl stuff, some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me, my availability to find a place to watch...the rollercoaster I was used to with this fandom was more me binging it in a weekend to going months to over a year without watching it. I still haven't watched the last season(but with a fandom this big it's pretty impossible not be spoiled so I more or less know what happened) BUT oh great one I ask of thee for more information if you have it...other than being busy and whatnot, I'm not really one to keep up with the actors as well. So could you also maybe do a summary of all the stans? I'im seeing terms I haven't seen before. Who is Kelios(sp?)? Hellions?? probably messed it up but like...I guess what are the name of each legion? Who do they have alliance towards? What was their desires? Que paso?!?!?!?

Hi there! 'Some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me' me emotionally quitting Supernatural in Season 7 after they killed Castiel 😂 Anyway I totally get it, I went through the same culture shock mid-last year when I got back into SPN and tried to find where fandom was at! There's really a LOT of lore and content after 15 years though so I'll just do the broad brushstrokes based on my impressions and personal stereotypes PLEASE remember this is oversimplifying groups and individuals to tendencies and I'm very biased! Also important that there are sub-factions within sub-factions - again, I'm simplifying here!

I've also linked to the 'Super-wiki' in terms of some definitions because the Super-wiki has pages for them where the Fandom-wiki does not. Great introduction actually - only in the Supernatural fandom. There are two Supernatural wikis. One, through curation and twitter activity, supports BiBro/Wincest factions and does not support Destiel users. One is more neutral or Destiel-friendly (I don't know that the Fandom wiki has a personality/social media presence per se). You cannot make this up. There is a factional war... within use of fandom wikis.

Destiel faction

People who primarily ship Dean/Cas, love Castiel and (often, although not always) Jack, and the 'found family' of Supernatural as well as the brothers, and like the post s3 seasons too. Hated 15.19 and 15.20 for killing Dean and ignoring the other characters/narrative arc of the show. Nicknamed 'Destihellers' by the Wincest faction as a derogatory term, 'reclaimed' and shortened as 'Hellers', a nickname they use affectionately to describe each other. See more info on nicknames here.

Sometimes also ship ‘Cockles’ (the ship between Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles) although generally speaking they're more respectful of the wives of the actors than J2 shippers, who are notoriously responsible for... a vast series of insane-fan misdemeanours. Historically most were also good at keeping RPF to themselves and not harassing celebrities with it directly, although recently, particularly with younger twitter fans, that has not been the case.

Sub-factions:

The ‘Desticule’ or ‘Destiel tumblr’ - general grouping of Destiel-shipping tumblr users around 20-30 years old, usually LGBT+, most who came back to the show post-15.18 after leaving it for various reasons including getting sick of the queerbaiting. Funniest bitches alive etc. and responsible for the best text posts you’ve ever seen. Can also start stupid discourse and in-group drama when they’re bored.

'POLOL' - People of Lots of Letters, a discord group (of tumblr and twitter users) that ran on the assumption Andrew Dabb was playing a hugely intricate game of 3D chess to do with gnostic symbolism among other things, and would make Destiel canon. Have since had their own factional sub-wars and fallen apart a bit. Some of their meta was and is good and interesting! Some of it was wildly off the mark. Now generally insist that Dabb/the writers were all pushing for Destiel canon and the network is entirely to blame.

Twitter fans (TikTok edition) - younger fans around 18 and younger who (FOR REASONS BEYOND ME) started watching the show around 2018-2020. Definition of 'stans'. Tend to be very loud and aggressive on twitter when Events Happen, which like. I do get, because they've grown up in a completely different media environment and this kind of Dinosaur Politicking around LGBT+ issues is beyond them. Fancam central. Anyway stream #CASTIEL for clear skin!

Twitter fans (AO3 edition) - older fans around 30+ who kept going with the show but either don't have a large tumblr presence or just prefer twitter. A lot of fic writers, GISH-ers, and BNFs in this group. Some of them are very cool and reasonable in their opinions, some of them act like the younger stans. Some of them too accepting of what happened wrt 15.19-20 in my opinion, because, in contrast to the younger twitter stans, they grew up expecting Destiel to NEVER be canon or respected. 'Can't believe we got this far' etc.

Multiship faction

Multishippers or shippers of things not as large as the two main behemoths . Sub-factions based on shipping, e.g. Megstiel and Sastiel. I don't think these groups are very large though, and seem to have very little influence in the Discourse.

Wincest faction

LARGE overlap with the 'BiBro' faction and their opinions, which I'll get to. Ship Sam and Dean romantically. Often pretend to be BiBros on places like twitter and reddit in order for outside groups to take their opinions more seriously. 'Wincesties' etc. are derogatory nicknames given by the Destiel faction.

Sub-factions:

Multiship fans - ship Sam and Dean but respect Castiel/the 'found family'. Politically overlap with the faction of multishippers, I think. I don't have a lot of insight on this group of people honestly, but I know they exist.

Bronlies - the typical BiBro and 'Wincest' shippers most people think of, twitter user 'Kelios' is one of the would-be ringleaders of this faction - typically tend to be older white midwestern women. Historically have been pretty nasty on twitter (leading to Robert Berens, writer who made Destiel canon, occasionally subtweeting Kelios). Also tend to ship 'J2' - and take it very seriously as a legitimate thing that is really real. This is called 'tinhatting'.

BiBro faction

People who think the show should JUST be about the brothers, love Supernatural s1-3 and everything after it should have been just like Supernatural s1-3. Hate Castiel, Jack, and the 'found family'. Largely loved 15.20. Go to literally any comments section on any Supernatural article and You Will Find Them complaining about how the show should just be about the Brothers. Tend to be older, straighter, and more conservative/Republican (and male) fans. (I am aware that the definition of 'BiBro' used to refer to people who just liked the brothers but there's no definitional difference now in the discourse.) The Wincest and BiBro faction are generally much more wealthy than the Destiel faction (they being younger and more diverse/queer/left-leaning in general) and would be the biggest revenue generators at conventions etc.

Sub-factions:

Reddit bros - literally anyone who visits r/supernatural. Well, that's not fair - there are people who post reasonable opinions on there, but it's pretty rare and they get downvoted a lot. Like to talk about 'toxic Destiel fans' 'ruining the show' and how Dean is a straight man who is straight and could never possibly be gay. Might even think the confession was platonic despite all evidence to the contrary. I'm Not Homophobic I Have Gay Friends, But No Gays on MY Show!

Old Guard - group of older fans who overlap strongly with the Wincest faction, but might not necessarily ship Wincest.

GA faction

'General Audience' - These are the group of audience members that aren't 'online' so to speak; most watch the show on TV as a Casual Viewing Experience (are therefore also sometimes referred to as 'casuals'. Mostly their opinions tend towards BiBros, but they have a vast range of baffling views thanks to being Not Online and usually Not caring about Supernatural that much or thinking that deeply about it.

Sub-factions:

People who simply watch Supernatural on TV and then don't think about it very much after that.

I said they weren't 'online' but that's not entirely true; I'd probably classify people on Supernatural Facebook Groups as GA, along with friends of friends who post statuses about how 15.20 was a neat finale that wrapped up the series.

Conclusion

Supernatural is famously the show that appeals to both Republicans and Democrats, literally All Orientations, so there's a WIDE range of factions. However, most warring online boils down to Destiel vs. Wincest/BiBro - the war that started in Season 4 and has simply never ended. In terms of the 'actors' and their stans, in general, Wincest/BiBro fans love Jared, like Jensen, and dislike Misha. Destiel fans love Misha, like Jensen, and dislike Jared. Of course as with everything, there are variations and this is just a generalisation. But that's the summary of it, from my perspective!

This didn't even get into Sam girls, Dean girls and Cas girls. God. Anyway.

Hope that answered your question, anon!

#for some reason read more does not work on my blog main page now? you'll have to click the permalink #season 17 time for a theme change tumblr has broken this one too much sigh #ask #anonymous #this might be the most controversial thing I've ever posted or I might escape with nobody noticing it. Only Two Outcomes #didn't mention any other factional ringleaders because well #I value my life etc.#unironically who will fund me writing the PhD on supernatural fandom etc. etc.#the graphs. the statistics. the sociological insights #kira for ts #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers

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1-lightofjustice · 3 years ago

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Hello! I heard that Andy Domyouji actually has a Dad who used to be the old Scepter 4 un Habari's time and I wanted to know of what you thought about what kind of person his Dad was? 🤔💭

What an interesting ask anon!

We have so little contents about old Scepter 4, but one thing we all know is old Scepter 4 is way, waayy, waaaaaaayyyyyyyy bloodier than current Scepter 4. Can’t blame them tho, with Purgatory being absolute walking human bombs who wreck everything that came to their paths. So, save to say that almost all old Scepter 4 members ever killed/decapitated someone(Purgatory) at least once. I don’t know if it’s my biased ‘Our Scepter 4 are all my precious babies’ feeling, but I can’t imagine our Scepter 4 members kill someone (except Munakata to Mikoto, of course). To imagine puppy Hidaka, calm Akiyama, or cheerful Domyouji decapitate someone is quite bizarre for me, although I indeed watched Side Blue movie when Hidaka, Domyouji, and all alphabet squad hunted for Kusuhara’s murderer.

(If that’s their default mode for someone who kill one of their own, lucky them for having less murderous Red clan to control. Vice versa for Homra a.k.a current Red clan.)

So the first thing came to my mind after reading you question is “Our bright Domyouji but in a clan that require you to decapitate someone on daily basis”. But of course when I think about it again, my imagination of him is not that simple. It’s quite fun to imagine how Domyouji’s dad personality, and I agree with this Ridia’s post although I have some headcanons on my own.

Before we dive to headcanon land, let’s we look at some canon information crumbs about Domyouji’s dad :

Canon content 1

His father was a member of the previous Scepter 4, and entrusted 17-year-old Domyoji to the new Scepter 4. His father, who used to work on the previous “Blue King” Habari, is watching from afar with a certain gaze on Munakata, the new “King of Blue”.

Domyouji Andy Profile

I am not sure about the “entrusted” statement here. Did Domyouji’s dad introduce Andy to current Scepter 4? Or did he just support his son’s decision? Because we know that following Munakata Reisi is Andy’s own decision.

K : Days of Blue chapter 8

Then, about the phrase “is watching from afar with a certain gaze on Munakata” remind me of Zenjou’s behavior toward Munakata and current Scepter 4. So save to say that although maybe Domyouji’s dad in his youth is as boisterous our Andy, after Kagutsu incident he’s more settled down and prefer to watch from afar instead of jumping to front line.

(I think all old Scepter 4 members except Minato twin are like that, they’re just.... tired of fighting, especially after their King’s death. Oh my poor old Blue clan T_T)

Canon content 2

“Did you use it, too, Fushimi-san? Luckily, I myself inadvertently avoided it, my use of PDA being limited at the time due to how strict my family is and all that.” “Having grown up in such a strict house, how come you turned out like that…?” Benzai stared at Doumyouji with utter perplexity written all over his face.

K ~ Seven Stories ~ Piece 13: Fushimi Saruhiko

From the content we know that :

- Domyouji’s family is strict

- Still not strict enough to mold Domyouji into more usual “calm stern dedicated Dojo heir” type.

- Domyouji’s dad didn’t tell Andy about King’s world, because Andy used “inadvertently” meaning he was clueless about true nature of Jungle. Domyouji’s dad should know about Jungle because old Scepter 4 is still active (without Habari) when Jungle started to operate.

Kingdom of Red Chapter 6

-Probably he restricted Andy’s phone with ulterior motive to protect Andy from Jungle.

Canon content 3

Having been born as the heir to the “Kouei style fencing dojo”, he displayed a prodigious talent in swordsmanship since childhood. As his father, who was also his master, put it once before, “It’s not like you altogether ignore swordsmanship learned by training, it’s just that your natural talent takes over way too much from the start. If you were weak because of that, I would forcefully correct it, but in such a talent lies the possibility that you can understand and master the way of sword better than I. That’s why you can remain the way you are.”

It was up to a debate whether or not Doumyouji understood the advice his father had given him the way it was meant, but starting that time, his tendency to do as he pleased became even more prominent, including but not limited to sword practice.

Case Files of Blue, chapter 1

From the content we know that :

- Domyouji’s dad is quite lenient to Andy because of Andy’s talent.

- Regarding raw talent, Andy is better than his dad.

- He would forcefully correct Andy’s behavior if that can make his son weak. So he wants Andy to be strong.

- So Andy’s tendencies to do as he pleased is partly his fault XD

Lastly,

Canon content 4

I can’t find the primary source, but wiki says that Andy’s mom is French. So he married foreign person despite the fact that he’s an owner (or maybe an heir) of traditional Japanese dojo. And Domyouji’s mom love Domyouji’s enough to leave her country and stay in Japan at least from Andy’s birth till he entered Scepter 4. I don’t know about you, but an ordinary Asian like me commonly doesn’t know about France’s legal drinking age without research (Andy hate research), so I assume that his mom told him about that.

Also apparently Domyouji’s heritage is well-know to other Scepter 4 members, makes me wonder if alphabet squad ever met Domyouji’s family or dad before. It’s possible that Domyouji is just so open about his family matter (he’s certainly a blabbermouth, like when he told everyone about Kamo’s daughter issue).

Bonus

The names are Azuma Sohei, Bado Ryoichiro, Chidjiiwa Gaku, Daiba Sadamitsu. All of them, who carry extraordinary light on their bodies and run at speeds that surpass ordinary people, are first-rate players who go beyond the level of simple extraordinary combat personnel.

Before Zero chapter 3

It shows that Domyouji’s dad although maybe quite proficient to handle sword and own a dojo, was not King’s elite personnel, unlike Andy. Before we know that regarding talent Andy is better than his dad so it’s understandable if he can’t become King’s elite personnel but his son can. Wonder what he felt about it.

So, based on those fact, my headcanon about Domyouji’s dad is :

- Quite rebellious for a traditional dojo owner, although probably not as social butterfly as Andy

- To get away from his conservative strict family, he ran to France, and met Andy’s mom.

- He fall in love with his France wife and France sweets like cake and macaroons. Andy inherited his sweet tongue.

- He proposed his wife in front of Eiffel tower, but his family urged him to go home. His wife dutifully followed him.

- He met Habari Jin, was fascinated with Blue King’s “whuush ping ping pow”, and followed him to be a Blue clansman

- Named his sword with weird names like Legbiter or Balmung.

- Probably gave Shiotsu headache just like Andy to Fushimi

- He assisted old Scepter 4 on their last fight with Purgatory, but probably evacuated with Shiotsu when the situation was too dire

- "I wish I knew what they were thinking, both Captain and Fushimi-san!" remember when Andy said that on ROK? I imagine Domyouji’s dad also thought the same when Habari and Zenjou dashed to Kagutsu explosion center by themselves (they were thinking about double suicide, Domyoujis...)

- After Kagutsu incident, he went home and mourned his King’s death on his wife’s lap.

- Probably he urged little Andy to be strong so not only he can defend himself on the dangerous world, but also so he can protect those he cares about.

- He still stayed in Scepter 4 after Habari’s death, so he encountered Jungle quite some times, and prevent Andy to access it in disguise of restricting Andy’s phone.

- When Andy met Munakata Reisi, he saw how fascinated Andy was and he knew that his son already met his King.

- For him his Blue King is Habari Jin and Habari Jin only, but he knew how his son’s feeling and gave him permission to enter Scepter 4 at such young age.

- Probably he told Andy stories about his old clan, so Andy can take some lessons from them.

- He was proud that his son was chosen to be Squad leader and later Special Squad member, but he still worried for his son’s well-being, because probably Habari’s elite personnel got wiped out on Kagutsu incident (hope that we will know more about them on Ground Zero novel).

- When Mikoto almost caused Damocles Down, he had PTSD because it reminded him of Kagutsu incident, so when Andy went home after Ashinaka incident, he hugged his son hard and utterly glad that his son is still alive.

- He saw Munakata’s cracked Damocles Sword and hoped that his son didn’t feel the same pain as he did.

- When Andy and current Scepter 4 members assisted Munakata on his fight with Iwa-san, he felt proud for his son, but also worry and little jealous.

- He was so glad that in the end Munakata didn’t die and his son’s clan fully survived, but again he can’t help but feel little envious.

- Overall now he’s like war veteran with calm and melancholic aura.

#k project #domyouji andy #zenjou gouki #habari jin #old Scepter 4 #domyouji's dad #someone : what do you think of-#me : please sit down in this meta I will-#I just love reading and writing meta #in conclusion I think Domyouji's dad is kinda mix Andy and Zenjou #especially since Zenjou before Kagutsu incident more or less similar with Domyouji #regarding do as he pleased and recklessly jumping to frontline thing #but Kagutsu incident changed everything and everyone #damn you Kagutsu #thanks for the ask anon!

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transjoyblog · 4 years ago

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How to Know Your Sources of Trans Information

Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

Finding reliable information on the transgender experience is tough these days. There is so much anti-trans fear mongering and manipulation of science going on online.

I ran up against this issue pretty recently when I was trying to source some informative books on the trans experience, more for my own edification than anything else.

I'm the first to admit that beyond my own personal experience I do not have a lot of experience with trans people. I have one trans friend, which I have come to find is an incredibly rare thing, even among other trans people.

We tend to be pretty isolated, especially if you are like myself and not entirely out to everyone in your life. This leads to some problems when you want to try understanding your own experiences within a larger context. You know this community is out there, but a lot of the time this community just doesn't have an active presence in your life.

Isolation also makes coming out a lot scarier, and more difficult. A few other supportive trans people can literally save your life if everyone else in your life rejects you, but a community of people like yourself also helps with the little questions that are specific to a transgender experience. Like, what do I say when my family starts asking weird questions? Is it ok to not want to come out to toxic family members? When is it appropriate to pack? Cis people may mean well, but ultimately if they are truly cis, they will not understand what it is to move through the world as a trans person. They just won't.

As a person who would like to better communicate my experience to the people who care about me I wanted a one stop resource to point people to if they are interested in learning more about trans people. So let's start with some generally reliable sources of information on the basics of what transness is, how people come to understand that they are trans, and how varied this experience truly is.

Blog/Journal Articles:

them.us - I recently found this blog to be a great resource for news and informative cultural articles

out.com - Founded in 1992, this magazine has the highest circulation of any LGBTQ+ publication in the United States. This is a great way to get news, entertainment, and culture geared toward LGBTQ+ people.

Gender Reveal - Podcast hosted by the incomparable Tuck Woodstock. Currently on hiatus, so this is the perfect time to binge all 6 seasons of this great podcast that uses interviews to explore what exactly gender is.

TransLash Podcast - Hosted by Emmy and Peabody award-winning journalist Imara Jones, this podcast tells trans stories to save trans lives. They promote trans owned businesses and have a great Instagram page which I think everyone should follow.

Youtube Channels:

CopsHateMoe - Newer channel from a great non-binary creator. Super informed take on the goings on in the greater trans community online.

Jammidodger - Long time YouTuber that produces funny, wholesome, and informative content.

Ty Turner - Very funny, and interesting content from a transman living in conservative America.

Kat Blaque - Offers very salient points on everything from sex and body positivity to pop culture.

NoahFinnce - Good for the younger audience, really helpful content from a personal perspective.

ContraPoints - Great long form content. Very informed perspective on issues ranging from politics to bigotry.

There are, of course, more YouTubers out there and tons of great content, but I am only offering a jumping off point.

Here are some specific recommendations on where to find reliable medical information on the trans experience.

Scientific American (in general, a great source of information) - https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/voices/stop-using-phony-science-to-justify-transphobia/

Science Daily (also a great resource for the latest in research news) - https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/02/200205084203.htm

Mayo Clinic Articles on HRT and Puberty Blockers -

Feminizing hormone therapy - https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/feminizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385096

Masculinizing hormone therapy - https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/masculinizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385099

Pubertal blockers - https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/masculinizing-hormone-therapy/about/pac-20385099

Gender dysphoria - https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/gender-dysphoria/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20475262

Books:

Transgender History by Susan Stryker

Any of the books listed here: https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/center-transgender-health/patient-resources/books.html

General Tips on Sourcing Reliable Information Online:

1. Find the citations. Independently verify if possible. - If you're reading, or watching something that is making statistical or scientific claims there should be a section below the article or video that contains the source of these statistics. If this is not present, the article or video is not a reliable source, as reliable sources are able to be independently verified!

2. Is this information up to date? - This has been important in understanding the trans experience as a whole. While there is not nearly enough research on trans and gender non-conforming individuals, what has been published just this past year [2020] has contributed greatly to building a base of scientific representation of the trans community. A lot of people like to claim there is no scientific basis for the trans experience, when in fact the scientific understanding of gender as a binary has been under scrutiny for years and the most recent research does, in fact, support the biological existence of trans people. (Theisen et al.)

3. Determine purpose and reliability of information. - Some questions to assess the purpose and reliability of an article:

- For whom has this article been created? Scholars, scientists, or for the general public?

- What institution (company, government, university, etc.) supports this information? A news organization is NOT itself, alone, a reliable institution. All news articles should have reliable and properly cited source materials.

- If it is an institution, have you heard of it before? Can you find more information about it?

- Is there a non-Web equivalent of this material that would provide a way of verifying its legitimacy i.e. a regularly published medical journal?

TL;DR:

Skim through the points in this tutorial from Georgetown University on evaluating Internet sources. https://www.library.georgetown.edu/tutorials/research-guides/evaluating-internet-content

I feel I should include a good mental health and suicide hotline from the Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386. They have a lot of experience with LGBTQ+ experiences and have proven helpful to me personally in the past. The trans experience does not preclude suicidality, but they do often go hand in hand, especially in people under 25, for whom this hotline was specifically made.

This is something I feel that people who love trans people don't understand. So, if you are a parent, partner, or friend of a trans person consider how the news of another murdered trans person affects the person you love.

Every few days there are reports of another murdered trans person and it does affect us. It's a constant reminder that the world as a whole is not for us, because no matter how supportive the people in our lives are, there are plenty of people who would like us dead. Consider using the above hotline, or consulting with your local PFLAG organization, if you are unsure how to approach these types of conversations.

Ultimately, I hope this article can function as a jumping off point for deeper research into being transgender and understanding LGBTQ+ peoples lived experiences a little better. Let me know what else I should include in the comments below!

Citations

Medical College of Georgia at Augusta University. "Gene variants provide insight into brain, body incongruence in transgender." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 5 February 2020. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/02/200205084203.htm>.

Journal reference for above article:

J. Graham Theisen, Viji Sundaram, Mary S. Filchak, Lynn P. Chorich, Megan E. Sullivan, James Knight, Hyung-Goo Kim, Lawrence C. Layman. The Use of Whole Exome Sequencing in a Cohort of Transgender Individuals to Identify Rare Genetic Variants. Scientific Reports, 2019; 9 (1) DOI: 10.1038/s41598-019-53500-y

#transgender #information #today i learned #research #lgbtq

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vanquishedvaliant · 5 years ago

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Three Houses and Three Ages; An analysis of the perspective of Time in the ideology of each Lord's Route

META ESSAY TLDR: Each house leader represents the idealized preference of a certain period of time; Claude is the Past, Dimitri is the Present, and Edelgard is the Future. Their routes enforce these time periods as what one should prioritize when making decisions, and what is most important when society is revolutionized.

Playing through Three Houses, it's quite clear that each of the three main Lord routes is a unique story with more differences between them than which maps are cleared or what nation you fight for; each of the stories is rich with themes and symbolism asking questions to careful readers, and offering different solutions based on the ideals and values of the characters you choose to follow.

Many have suggested before some strong themes these routes carry, most notably the question of "Do the Ends justify the Means?", and what place memories of the dead should have on the actions of the living. While these hold true on many levels of the story, it never seemed to fully encompass the whole of what the story had to say.

Reading more broadly across the entire text, I have come to think about their messages on a different alternative angle; that each route and lord is also representative of a method of thinking and decisions making that is based on their perspective of Time, ultimately asking the question of where you should look in time to decide what is right when the world is at the brink of revolution.

I propose that Claude, Dimitri, and Edelgard are each defined utterly by the answer they can be seen to represent; the Lessons of the Past, the Reality of the Present, or the Promise of the Future.

Below, I will go into each character at length and provide specific evidence from the text for my proposal. This breakdown includes detailed spoilers for all routes*.

Claude von Riegan - Correcting the Mistakes of the Past

Claude, heir to the sovereign dukedom of Leicester, is a man defined by the past. Born of the mixed heritage of two different nation's noble castes, he inherited the expectations and responsibilities of both, and neither. This disconnection from both sides frees Claude from each of their cultural momentum, and lets him to step back to see a global and historical perspective without the biases of a man with a true stake in either.

Coming to be known as the 'Master Tactician' and a brilliant schemer, Claude's harsh biracial youth cultivated a careful and contemplative attitude in him. He learned about others so he can act according to their expectations and fill the role that they want from him. As an adult, Claude uses this friendly attitude as a mask for his true intentions in order to gather information, and then uses his detailed knowledge of people, places, and events to manipulate their behaviour to his benefit.

Claude also makes his decisions based on extrapolation of other’s behaviour based on what they have already done in the past, and he values the lessons learned from their failures. Claude is the only lord to express interest in learning about the history of the Church, and why they came to be the way they are. He is the only lord who confronts Rhea, to ask questions about history, and learn most of the truth of the original sins and offenses that lead to the conflicts taking place in his time.

As the war progresses, Claude goes so far as to forsake his own nation's flag to lead his war, and instead flies the flag of the Crest of Flames. Mimicking the army of Nemesis in history, Claude steps into the past and uses established symbols to his benefit, using the popular story of history to rally support for his goal, but revising the positions to create a more positive result.

As we learn about his own motives, he tells the player he wishes to create a land where people from different nations, races, and creeds can live together without conflict. Claude's revolution can be seen as addressing and correcting the history that lead to these conflicts, rewinding the sins of the original war between Agartha and Nabatea to a time when all of Fodlan was said to coexist under Sothis, and stepping back further in his long term view to encompass the world beyond their continent. He wants to build a world where those conflicts in the past were resolved intelligently, with all they've learned since, and to do so, he must learn why and how those events took place, and he uses his knowledge of history to present a story to accomplish this.

At the climax of his route, Claude comes face to face with the resurrected Nemesis, a literal embodiment of the conflicts and mistakes of the past. He faces down this foe with knowledge and planning based on his fighting style and the heroes under his command, and defeats him by anticipating and counteracting his movements in battle, placing an arrow in advance right where Nemesis will attack. He immediately claims that the victory will be hailed by Historians as a new dawn, and the narrative ending text references changing the history of Fodlan no less than four times in quick succession.

Each of Claude's actions are careful, planned, and considerate. He takes every factor into account, learns everything he can from the way things were, and takes action to reproduce the victories, and correct the mistakes others have made in the past. And because of this, Claude thoroughly represents the decision making perspective of learning from Lessons of the Past.

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd - Conserving the Values of the Present.

Dimitri, crown prince of Faerghus, is a man with his eye locked firmly on the now. Burdened by the death of his family in the Tragedy of Duscur, Dimitri is unable to move on from events that happened in his past, and doing his best to do right by the people around him day by day. Dimitri is unable to rest when things he perceive to be unjust happen around him, and is the first to rush into action heedless of the repercussions.

As the story progresses, Dimitri confides in the player that he regularly witnesses vivid hallucinations of his deceased family members, describing them as if they are still there with him even 4 or later 9 years after their deaths. These memories encourage him to act, to find some kind revenge or salvation as he laments that he was helpless and unable to do anything on his own in the moment of that tragedy.

This manifestation of his trauma is emblematic of how he sees the world, still carrying the despair, anger, and helplessness of that time with him and unable to separate things that once were from things that are now, without properly grieving or accepting their fate. For Dimitri, the past is still happening in the present, and no matter what he does, he can't separate them.

Dimitri is determined to act upon this revenge without delay, and eventually confesses that his ulterior motives for all that he does, including attending the academy, are part of an ongoing plan to enact his revenge. When the perceived target of his revenge is revealed to be Edelgard, Dimitri immediately attacks her in that moment, with no need to confirm the truth of past events, or consider the consequences for the future.

As the war progresses, Dimitri's condition worsens and his anger overtakes him. His decisions become extremely impulsive and reckless. He charges into battle with no regard for the safety of himself or others, refuses to build connections with those around him, and is blinded to everything but what is immediately in front of him, acting on it the only way he knows how; with violence.

Dimitri's decision making during the first part of the war phase represents this need for instant-gratification. Dimitri directs the war effort directly into enemy territory, obsessed with achieving his revenge "Now" and either unable or unwilling to consider that his actions will affect the future of his people or his country.

As Dimitri regains composure and works to put the past behind him by learning the truth of the Tragedy of Duscur, Dimitri makes decisions with more consideration, no longer blinded to the past and the future, but now actively choosing the present. He chooses to return to Fhirdiad not for sake of the future or the past, but because his people are continuing to suffer in the now, and he chooses to continue the war in the fight to bring peace as quick as possible. Dimitri's personal values uphold his priority of the present; he values the culture of chivalry that Faerghus currently embodies, fully believing in their established norms of noble knights and a glorious king protecting the weak and guiding the lost, and correcting injustices happening in the present with direct action wherever possible. Dimitri does not believe that the systems that govern their society are inherently flawed, and that problems can be solved by addressing them one at a time.

One such issue he faces is the prejudice against those of Duscur, which is strongly tied to the Tragedy and his personal motivations. Dimitri wishes to correct this injustice, and acts immediately with whatever power he has to further this goal. In Dedue’s paralogue Dimitri will rush into battle to prevent his own nation’s soldiers from slaughtering Duscur troops, and he expresses intent to immediately address the prejudice. However, Dimitri proposes no definite actions for these reforms, showing that while Dimitri is insistent to act, he does not have a long term plan for the future of reconciliation with Duscur, and is taking things one step at a time. Dimitri is not convinced by promises for the future, and he is not influenced by lessons of the past. He values how things are right now, making decisions based on the good and bad with only the information and ideas at hand. And for these reasons, I contend that Dimitri utterly represents living solely in the Reality of the Present.

Edelgard von Hresvelg - Breaking New Ground for the Future

Edelgard, Imperial Princess of Adrestia, is a woman unflinching in pursuit of her goals. Devastated personally and politically by the corruption in her current government and the manipulation of evils from the past, Edelgard turned the trauma of the gruesome torture and suffering she was made to endure into strength, resolving to 'cut her own path' to the future she envisioned.

Edelgard thoroughly rejects the tradition and culture of the world as it is. She sees the suffering of those in the present, and traces it back to decisions of the past. Seeing how the lingering resentment of both the Church of Seiros and the Agarthans continues to damage the world, she rejects both as wrong, and instead chooses to craft new and revolutionary solutions to combat problems and inequalities and develop a plan for a just society free from their influence.

In everything she does, Edelgard is determined to move forward. Edelgard voices respect and even solidarity for those that resist conventions and forge their own paths, even when she is compelled to oppose them, complimenting the leadership of the disgraced noble turned bandit Miklan, and commending the resolve and bravery of Lonato and his rebellion, refusing to treat them as victims for fighting for change they believed in.

Constantly adjusting her plans with new information at every moment, Edelgard frequently changes course when the costs are deemed too high, or the plan unworkable. Edelgard abhors the experimentation done by Solon in Remire, and long plans to turn against the Agarthans that Slither in the Dark, enacting her vengeance on them during the course of the war.

Support conversations with Manuella and Ferdinand display her understanding of the role of faith in the lives of the spiritual, and the need to produce an environment to uplift individuals. She alters her plans for the future to take both into account; dissolving the church without rejecting the Goddess, and developing plans for universal education and training, understanding the role each of these plays in developing a stronger society with educated and enlightened citizens.

When providing support for the player during their moment of crisis and despair, Edelgard encourages them to look forward. The advice she gives is that world will always move forward, and being held captive by the tragedy of the past, or accepting the present as it is is fruitless when time moves forward for everyone. The only thing one can do to change the past, is to do their best to work for the future, and help others to move forward as well. When Edelgard's true plans are revealed, she dictates the manifesto of her revolution; dissolution of the Church of Seiros, and the abolition of the crest-bearing nobility, two traditions of ancient history which continue to define the world in the present and which are perceived to be sources of injustice and inequality. These burdens of the past, the Church's anger and punishment of mankind, and the legacy of the Crests that persists from the tragedy of a society long since dead, are cast aside in favour of putting all thought towards the future. Edelgard goes so far as to declare war; determining that the grueling tax of war and destruction in the present is preferable to allowing suffering to continue across society for years and decades to come. She concludes that moderate change is ineffective; and her experience shows this. Political reform in Adrestia was unsuccessful and was met with a coup that separated her family and stagnated their government, allowing further negligence and evil to thrive. Edelgard concludes that the only way for true change to occur is through decisive action, and the need for change outweighs the short terms costs of lives, finances, and industry that war demands. In her personal affairs, Edelgard encourages others to never be satisfied with how things are, and instead work to improve them for the future. She commends Ferdinand and Caspar for constantly striving to improve themselves, she implores Petra not to settle for what is expected of her, and is frustrated by Linhardt's disregard for the fruits of his efforts. All of her relationships are influenced by her constant forward motion and desire for betterment. Edelgard is unsatisfied with the inequalities and inadequacies of the present, and chooses to reject the decisions of history that led to it, not accepting its effects on the actions of those dictating the future. For these reasons, I contend that Edelgard unequivocally represents working hard to chase the Promise of the Future.

Conflicts Between Each Lord.

With each character's ideology established, we can also examine how they interact with each other, and how their perspectives collide to create conflicts between them.

Claude and Dimitri, despite finding themselves against a common enemy, are not able to properly ally in either of their routes, as Dimitri's total concern for the present blinds him to the possibilities of cooperation. In Dimitri's route, he is impatient to assault the Empire, unable to overcome difficulties in communication caused by an enemy from the Past he is unaware of, and chooses to fight through the Alliance army and destroy it rather than be delayed. Claude later implores him for aid, but the history of the Leicester alliance is sacrificed for the needs of Faerghus' war in the present. In Claude's route, Dimitri is likewise unable to communicate, heedlessly rushing into battle without consideration that his brave war does not match the united front that the Kingdom possessed during its first war with the empire, and is defeated utterly. Dimitri and Edelgard, the most directly at odds, represent the greatest contrast in ideology. Dimitri is unable to reconcile the death and destruction that war causes in the now, and does not believe that violent revolution is just. Edelgard is unable to reconcile the disparities and suffering of the present, and does not believe that allowing inequity to continue to thrive is just. These ideals can be summarized most succinctly in dialogue between the two during the conclusion of Dimitri's route, wherein Dimitri states; "We must defend the present... After all, it is all the we truly have," prompting an enraged Edelgard to counter, "We must trample the past underfoot, and move onward to a brighter tomorrow." Each succinctly states the priorities that inform the core motive of each side of the war, and echo their statements in previous discussions. Claude and Edelgard's conflict is far more subtle and nuanced. These two lords fundamentally share the same goals; the revolution of current society to be more equal and just, but they differ greatly in their methods and reasoning. Claude believes that no future can be built without considering history; a future without the flaws of the present cannot be forged without respecting how those injustices came to be. Edelgard on the other hand believes that true change cannot be enacted while you are still beholden to the past; if you are afraid to discard tradition and history, you can never create something truly new. In each of their routes, these Lords bring their conflict to conclusion, and while their methodology and fates differ, each of them ultimately entrusts the future to the other, with Claude offering the Alliance and his allies to forge Edelgard's future, and Edelgard (via Hubert) informing Claude of the true threat rising up from the past. Their methods and their perspectives conflict, but they both accept the present as unacceptable and seek revolution, whether it be through solving the past, or by creating an independent future.

In Conclusion;

Three Houses is ultimately a story about a societal revolution that spans the continent. It involves breaking the old society into pieces, examining all of its strengths and weakness, and piecing it back together in the method of your choosing. Like a forest fire can cause death and destruction, but also breath new life into its ecosystem, so too does the war in Fodlan provide a means for a new beginning. Through the examples given above, I believe that one of the overarching themes of Three Houses, and questions posed in each of it's routes, is what is most important when you are rebuilding that society in the aftermath. Do you look to the Past, like Claude, and learn from what those in history did right or wrong to make the decisions with thousands of years of wisdom? Do you stick to the Present, like Dimitri, and preserve things the way they are, taking small steps in the now to enact gradual change? Or do you fight for the Future, like Edelgard, making sweeping changes and reforms to create a future that is truly new in the pursuit of betterment. Each of these routes, and each of these characters poses a different answer to this question, without providing any answer that is absolutely correct. The endings of all three of these routes are portrayed as good, happy endings, the most idealized crystallization of their ideology. No matter the player follows, what they decide is what will prevail. There is no wrong answer, and no right answer. Simply solutions with a different priority.

And through these options, a full completion of the game asks the player to decide for themselves; what is really most important to their decisions?

The Past? The Present? Or the Future?

If you've read this far, first of all, thank you very much! This is almost totally a full length literary essay! You're a real trooper. I hope you've gained a new insight on a method of interpreting the story. I think there's a lot of different levels to Three Houses and I believe examining it from all different perspectives with a fair and even approach is important to getting the most out of it. I think it's the mark of a truly great story to provide this kind of depth of discussion, and posing multiple themes and questions that the player can think on.

I've found a lot of the same ground tread over and over about the means to an end, fascism vs democracy vs monarchy; (sorry guys, but that ain't it. Edelgard ain't a fascist, Claude ain't democracy, and Dimitri's a monarch... so....), and I've wanted to take it at a wider angle. The quoted lines from Azure Moon really stuck out to me as incredibly poignant, and when I looked back into Claude more i found more and more reference to his interest in history and learning the truth.

I didn’t go into details with Silver Snow in this essay because... well, it doesn’t have a Lord. It shares half of its route with Edelgard, and half with Claude so it poses many of the same arguments, despite contradicting each other. You could consider Seteth to be a pseudo-lord as a replacement, but It’s my personal belief that the themes and motivations posed by that choice aren’t strong enough to provide a story truly distinct from either Verdant Wind or Crimson Flower. One might argue that Seteth stands for “Upholding Tradition” rather than Claude’s revising it, but I don’t think there’s enough evidence. It’s just as likely that Silver Snow has little message, or simply stands as an isolate rejection to Edelgard’s choices. It’s something to explore another time, but I think the bonds between the three lords are what is most important.

So hopefully this gives some juicy fodder for further consideration, and more discussion to last for time to come! Thanks for reading!

-vanquishedValiant

#fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #FE3H #edelgard von hresvelg #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #claude von riegan #narrative analysis #meta #fe meta #FETH #fe16 #fire emblem meta #analytical essay #essay #long post #Should I have made this 4 different posts?#if anyone knows any FE sites where I could post or link this elsewhere lmk #tumblr is clearly not the best place for it

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punkbuttt · 4 years ago

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I may be just shouting into a void right now, but I’m very much not ok. I know no one is and no one has been for a very long time, but I just need to talk about it in a judgement free zone and I have basically no followers here or anyone that pays any attention so this feels safe.

I grew up in a small town. Very sheltered and conservative. There wasn’t anything around except for grocery stores, fast food chains, one movie theater that popped up when I was 16. To be very clear I grew up in Amish country. Everyone was white. I can recall maybe three students of color in my schools from kindergarten to senior year. I never really paid much attention to politics until maybe my senior year of high school. And even then, I didn’t really give it too much thought. We as a family never talked about politics. My parents are very religious so I have very clear memories of going to mass, CCD, first communion, confirmation. But we never talked politics.

I was a freshman in college when Obama was elected. I very much remember my mom asking if I had gotten an absentee ballot, since this would be my first election and I had just moved out of my home town but hadn’t been able to change my address before moving. I had gotten it, and my mom asked me who I voted for, so I answered Obama and she was shocked. That was when I first realized we were not on the same page when it came to politics.

The first time I can really remember getting into an argument over politics was right after Michael Brown was killed. My mom and I got into it over how Michael Brown didn’t actually attack that cop (won’t use his name) and my mo believes deadly force was justified. Then of course we had multiple arguments when Trump was elected. And I was getting so much blow back from so many family members for going on Facebook and saying “America was never great”. I got phone calls, Facebook messages, texts, and at one point my aunt cornered me at my parents house to tel me how wrong I was and ask me if I was a lesbian. And obviously this year, I got the same treatment once the BLM protests began. I’m very vocal about my support of the movement and again, I received much criticism from my family for it.

But the one person I never really heard from was my dad. It was mostly two of aunts and my mom who would confront me about political views. But my dad never did. Like I’be always known he shared the same views as my mom, I just always thought that it never mattered to him as much. But recently I’ve realized how wrong I was.

At one point this past September I think, a good amount of black owned business owners, mostly women, received very threatening emails saying that their businesses would be burned to the ground and the owner would be horribly murdered and worse. I posted a link to an article about it, saying that we should show these businesses a little extra support. My dad takes so much offense to this, that he sends his first ever Facebook message to me saying that “while it’s sad that this happened, other businesses are suffering too that are owned by whites, Asians and Latinos” so we get into it through Facebook about that. Then, my brother texts me a picture of my dad learning how to shoot a handgun at a shooting range and my brother says he’s feeling really uncomfortable about it. My dad also has a book on how to use a handgun. He’s never really expressed any interest about learning how to shoot, at least to me. My mom seemed very surprised by it too. My dad also bought 2 months worth of MREs to “prepare for the government comes after us” He won’t watch Fox News anymore. I’m not sure what was the last straw, but it’s scary to think that Fox News isn’t conservative enough for him. Now he only listens to talk radio. People like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. And watches their stuff online too. To a point where if he has to leave the room, he puts whatever program on his phone so his viewing/listening won’t be interrupted. And he also believe that the pandemic isn’t serious, that businesses should be allowed to stay open and that our constitutional rights are being infringed upon, so much so that he gave all of us pocket sized constitutions to refer to when “they” come for us. He’s not really an anti maskers because I know he doesn’t fight anyone when going to the grocery store or anything, but as soon as he’s out of the door, he all but rips the mask off his face. And he (nor my mom for that matter) seem to care much about the fact that my coworker and two of my friends’ parents have died from Covid.

And now, he’s posting things on his Facebook (which he used to never do! He would only every like or comment on his children’s photos!) In defense of Trump. He posted a video that claims trump asked the terrorists to go home and that the media will never let anyone see it. But trump made that video hours after that rally. And he fully believes the election was rigged. Part of me is wondering if he had the chance, would he have gone to DC today? Would he have been there? It just seems very likely to me and it’s just... devastating.

The point of this whole post is to say that I’m afraid my dad is beyond reason. I was talking to my sister today and she’s ready to cut him off. I’m not ready for that but I feel like I may have to. He’s defending terrorists. How can he not see that? I love my parents so much, and they’ve done so much for me, and I know that they’re good people. But they’re sheltered. They grew up in a white, small towns and then chose to live and raise a family in another very white and small town. They don’t travel. They’ve only been out of the country twice and both times it was just to Niagara Falls. I could have easily gone the same route but I’m so grateful that I managed not to. It would have been very easy.

I feel very alone right now. I live alone, in a city that even before the pandemic my family didn’t really want to come visit me in. And the pandemic has made it worse, but knowing that my dad and possibly my mom are this far gone just really make me feel so isolated. Like I said my sister wants to cut my dad off, but it’s easy for her because she’s married. So is my brother. They have their spouses and in laws at least. I don’t have that. I have friends yeah but that’s just different. I don’t really know how to describe that difference though. I still miss my family. I still want to see them for the holidays and birthdays. But it’s so hard to go home now. I feel like I can’t even call my parents’ house home anymore. It feels tainted.

If anyone has read this, and made it this far, and is experiencing or has experienced something similar, I hope we can talk. I don’t know anyone who is at this point so I just feel even more alone. I don’t think anyone I know really understands how I’m feeling. And if you can relate, I’m sorry. This sucks. So much. So so so much. I know not everyone has a great relationship with their parents, and while I wouldn’t said me and my parents were BFFs, I know that they love me and want the best for me and would do anything for me. But I can’t take their borderline extremist conservativeness anymore. It just goes against everything that they raised me to be.

All of this is to say I’m just really fucking sad and I don’t know what to do about it.

#there I’m done now #personal #parents #coup #family

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faedawayyy · 4 years ago

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A Useless Guide to the Carmichaels

DISCLAIMER: this is a bunch of headcanons that i’ve come up with. OBVIOUSLY since synn and katie and nadine and meg in a way have characters that are tied to their family...BUt these are my original headcanons for the family, so if things aren’t quite right or sound different, it’s bc they’re my most developed family and it’s the way i’ve written them in canon verse!

SYLVIA CARMICHAEL - GRANDMOTHER

sylvia’s family are russian and came over to england after the war. her father was a general and her mother was a seamstress and she was raised in a very, very conservative and upper-class family. she went and studied at st andrews in edinburgh and that’s where she met hank carmichael, who her father always pushed her towards from the moment he knew of him. sylvia carries a lot of her family values and clashed with her GEN X kids because their ideologies were so different. for example, she sturggled edwin’s sexuality and oliver’s more liberal mannerisms. it doesn’t stop her from trying to “guide” her grandchildren.

HANK CARMICHAEL - GRANDMOTHER

hank was born and raised in england. his father was an extremely wealthy banker, his mother died when he was young but he never really thought about her because his father never spoke of her. he was raised mainly by his aunt while his father worked around the clock. they were an extremely wealthy family and when he was old enough, hank attended boarding school. he never really had parental guidance and his creativity always ran wild. he was trouble at school, but smart enough not to get caught. after he graduated from st andrews and moved in with sylvia, he invested his entire trust-fund into a book publishing business, which is still successful to this day. he’s a huge family man due to not having one when he was younger

second generation.

EDWIN CARMICHAEL

edwin is the oldest of sylvia’s and hank’s children and always worked hard to be a people pleaser. he was often referred to as the golden child and the absolute brightest star in his mother’s sky. from an early age, he showed interest in entertainment which hank inspired and supported.

things changed for edwin in the middle of high school when he decided to come out about his sexuality. he was severely bullied and his relationship with sylvia broke down. he STILL hasn’t got the best relationship with his mother, especially after he married his husband, but they stay civil for the rest of the family’s sake.

he now works in property and lost his confidence in acting when he was bullied.

OLIVER CARMICHAEL

SYNN’S CHARACTER, BUT HERE IS HOW I INTERPRET HIM. oliver is the second oldest child of sylvia and hank. he was rebellious from the start. he never enjoyed trying to live up to edwin’s golden standard, he hated the events and the social climbing. he just wanted to be a regular kid and have regular experiences, but it never happened for him. when he was 18, it hit him that he was an adult and sylvia and hank have 0 influence over him. he took his trustfund, travelled and got the hell out of violet springs. however, just like with everybody else, age caught him up and he ended up settling in london with a woman he met while backpacking in australia. he likes his children knowing their family, so he reluctantly shows up to family events but you’d never catch either of them in violet springs if they didn’t have to be.

JAMES CARMICHAEL

james is the middle child and arguably the most successful of the carmichael’s. he was never the favourite and had a streak in him that caused him to clash with hank from a young age. he was a loveable rouge who grew into a loveable white-collard criminal. he was smarter than he let on and had endless ambition. like edwin, he attended university but instead of picking a profession that hid away from his true ambition, he invested his entire trustfund into a studio in los angeles where he planned to make amazing films...it paid off. he married his wife (patricia) who he met when she worked as a set designer on one of his projects, but it wasn’t all happily ever after. james played around with money a little too much and tried to take out his competition in shady ways. this led to things getting too much for him and he faked his death almost a year ago. all of his family beside mason believe him to be dead.

JOHNATHAN CARMICHAEL

completely synn’s character, the father of theo

SINEAD CARMICHAEL

sinead was the only girl of five children and completely used it to her advantage. she watched the way her brother’s and father knew how to dominate rooms, conversations and other people. she grew up with the mindset that she could have absolutely anything she wanted, as long as she worked (or cheated) hard enough for it. sinead dropped out of school at 15 and almost gave her mother an hernia. she blew most of her trust fund on a sweet 16 and then a sweet 18, anything that was left went on her 21st. she’s a very “live in the moment” woman and cares little for consequences. she actually ended up teaming up with james and starring in a few of his earliest projects before becoming an actress in her own right. she’s blacklisted by a lot of hollywood producers for her refusal to submit and listen to direction. she’s head strong and does what she likes.

third generation.

RUBY ROSINI - ADOPTED DAUGHTER OF EDWIN.

when ruby was adopted by edwin, there was all round excitement from every single member of the family; a little, brown-eyed girl from italy arriving on their doorsteps. she was so different from the majority blue-eyed children who filled the family tree. the cousins all immediately became protective of her and loved getting to know who she was as a person. now they’re grown up, she’s viewed as a cousin and it’s easy to forget that she was ever adopted or came from anywhere else.

THOMAS CARMICHAEL - SON OF OLIVER

thomas is the oldest son of oliver and like his dad, he’s a bit of a free spirit but unlike his dad, he’s a lot more laidback and less likely to clash or argue with anyone. as far as carmichael’s go, he’s quite wholesome and kind and oliver will 100% say that it’s because he was raised away from the madness of their family. however, growing up away from the others isn’t as good in his eyes as it is in his dad’s. he often feels boring and on the outside, he will always do his best to fit in with the other guys and is easily manipulated. as a child, he got into trouble so many times from listening to the shit brody and leo used to tell him to do. even to this day, he’s overly loyal and attached to them because he’s desperate to feel a real part of the family.

KATELYN CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF OLIVER

katelyn is the oldest of the third generation and oliver’s daughter. she’s blunt, witty and doesn’t mince her words. unlike most of the women in her family, she cares little for appearances or staying in certain social circles. she’s a drama teacher in a high school and enjoys living a normal life, but does dip into the funds of her family name every now and then to have a bit of fun. she’s a blast at family parties and everybody is always excited to see what scandalous or stupid thing she’ll do next to annoy her grandmother.

ANASTASIA CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF JAMES

the oldest of james’ children and undeniably the real favourite. she’s an overachiever and type of girl who was good at everything in school and still is; she’s athletic, artistic, academic, a good mother, an amazing business woman, she’s smart, she’s intuitive, she’s healthy and rarely loses in competitions with her siblings or anyone else for that matter.

anastasia has her daughter, darcy, and is engaged to ryder banks. there’s no love there but like her grandmother, she understands the importance of appearances. you’d have to be crazy if you thought she hasn’t had a string of affairs and STILL has them. however, she also has standards and is very selective over who she lets get close.

darcy is her #1 priority and she’ll fight fiercely to make sure she always stays that way.

LEONARDO CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

leo is james’ oldest son and again, like anastasia, kind of set the bar in the early days for the rest of his siblings. when it was the two of them and mason, everything was about leo and anastasia, they grew up in constant competition; leo tended to always fall short of his sister’s achievements. however, as they grew and the two of them came into their own, it was clear that leo was never going to be one to be in the shadows for too long - starting with gaining the attention from girls as he grew through high school. even girls in brody’s and miles’s year were heart-eyes over him and he was a few years older. yet, just like with the rest of his siblings, he was promised and later engaged to somebody that his father handpicked for him to ensure the carmichael wealth wouldn’t dwindle out and fall into the wrong, new money hands. OOC//i could write more but it doesnt feel right bc he’s now katie’s character. obviously i have my own ideas/fiancee for original leo!

MASON CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

mason broke the trend of extroverted, go-getter type kids and ended up being the quietest and youngest of the bunch until miles was born. he was a big momma’s boy growing up, and even though he’s never really felt like the favourite, he always enjoyed the company of adults and quieter environments compared to his siblings who would thrive around kids of their own age. mason is wise beyond his years and it’s a running joke that he was supposed to be born first. he is the only one that knows james isn’t dead and was trusted with this information because even though brody was the favourite by a longshot, james knew mason would keep it quiet and be less affected by the secret. mason both hates and loves being a part of the carmichaels. he loves his family but also hates the madness that comes along with it.

BRODY CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

brody never really had to work to be the favourite of his parents - he just is. he had the right amount of intelligence, cockiness and charm to keep adults on side throughout his whole life. ironically, out of everybody in the third generation, he’s probably the biggest fuck up too but the adults turn a blind eye to it because it’s him. a huge reason he’s favoured by james is because he was clearly enough for charles to allow him to marry his oldest daughter, disney. this was such a big deal for james because charles has a LOT of connections (shady and not shady) in the entertainment industry and he knew the merger between the companies would keep the carmichael legacy in tact for generations. brody usually rises to being the favourite and is slightly smug about it, but he also cracks the most under pressure and has had dozens of meltdowns over the span of his life growing up.

MILES CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

miles is the youngest...son...of james. james has no idea that patricia had an affair and that miles isn’t actually his son. miles has always struggled severely with keeping up with his siblings. he developed common but crippling mental health issues in his pre-teen years such as depression and anxiety. it started with acting out and being a “problem child” but quickly developed in being too scared to leave the house. he locked himself away and wasted away his young years not really interacting with anyone outside of his immediate family. on top of that, he had he achievements of brody, mason, anastasia and leo to remind him of what a failure is...eventually he just stopped trying. these days his siblings are supportive and aware of how he can get. his cynicism is literally his humour and he’s just taking one day at a time.

BELLA CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF JAMES

bella was dubbed the next brody. all of her siblings adore her and so do her parents and grandparents. she’s the second child who can do absolutely no wrong in anybody’s eyes. bella was a young star and worked in hollywood making tv cameos long before she started school. she had two lives; her school and dance life, and her celebrity life. she grew up with more life experience than other kids and this made her painfully cunning. she knew exactly how to get people on side and had whoever she wanted wrapped around her little finger. she and brody were hit hardest by james’s death. bella was all over the place and gained a little weight - something she wasn’t familiar with after being petite her whole life. she’s now just trying to stable herself again.

THEO CARMICHAEL - SON OF JOHNATHAN

SYNN’S CHARACTER

HERA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

hera is the middle child of sinead. she too is inteligent and calculated but she’s also the opposite of the james’s girls. hera has never worked a day in her life and has no intention to. she’s a socialite and just like her mother, does what she wants when she wants to. she lives off of mommy’s money (because her dad bailed on them and honestly, fuck him). hera also came out as bisexual at a christmas party because she knew it’d make sylvia uncomfortable. she’s a wind up and enjoys getting a rise out of people.

OPHELIA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

ophelia is old enough to remember the messy divorce of her parents and adopted her mother’s bad-ass and care free attitude towards it from that day on. she hates her dad for what he did to their family but doesn’t let it hold her back and when she turned 18, she took him to court to keep her name on the inheritance of his million dollar winery business...and won. she’s the trailblazer for her quieter and more introverted siblings. she’s someone who knows she’s gorgeous and uses her looks to her advantage.

LUNA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

luna has always been shy and hid behind the bolder personalities of her sister’s. she used to feel boring because of it but has quickly accepted that’s who she is and she’s happy with it. as she becomes 26, she’s starting to feel extremely embarrassed and insecure about her lack of experience with anybody. yet, her father walking out makes her find it hard to connect with and trust people. she has high standards and no standards at the same time and is really lost in terms of her romantic relationships. HOWEVER, she is thriving in her career and mason has featured her as an actress in many projects. she currently attends rosewell and enjoys the french culture.

DAMUS CARMICHAEL-RUSH

damus is a pastiche of every criminal and calculated act a carmichael before him has committed. he actively seeks out trouble and due to not being able to find his “place” in the family, he seems to like to win the affections of his elders by getting involved in dodgy dealings that they’ve set up - particularly those of james and johnathan. damus gets a rush out of being in on his family’s darkest secrets but he also feels like a spare part - the one who gets put into dangerous scenarios because the others are too precious to do so.

third generation age order: - katelyn - anastasia - leo - thomas - ophelia - mason - brody - hera - luna - ruby - miles - bella - damus

fourth generation (work in progress): - darcy and wren, children of anastasia - fleur and dixie, daughters of brody - victoria and peter, children of mason - jacob and harlow, son of theo

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arlingtonpark · 4 years ago

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SNK 131/132 Review

Hello, my name is ArlingtonPark, and I write SNK meta.

I’ve been doing this every month for three years now.

And I’ve never skipped a month.

Nope.

No siree.

Uh-uh.

(My punishment is that I have to write at least 4,000 words on both chapters now.)

So, we’ve come a long way, haven’t we.

In chapter 1, humanity had given up on itself. Humanity had barely survived the titan apocalypse and everyone was just happy to be alive.

Humanity had to crowd into the walls, but it was better than being outside.

It was better than being dead.

They could have everything they’d ever need. Friends, family, children, food, a place to live. All of it was inside the walls.

Everything you’d need to live a fulfilling life, and many saw it that way.

The Survey Corps would explore the outside world, but they were unpopular and no one took outside exploration seriously.

In chapter 1, humanity was willing to settle.

Then in comes our hero, Eren Yeager.

People in the walls had a job, family, friends, and their needs were generally met, but Eren told them they should want even more than that.

That’s how the story began.

If Attack on Titan had ended with the basement reveal, I would have said the series was obviously written by someone who watches too much Fox News.

Attack on Titan, before the basement, was a story about paranoia. It was a story about outsiders threatening to invade and destroy everything our heroes loved.

The heroes in this narrative are the patriotic members of the military. They devote their heart to humanity, are willing to die for their country, and are put upon by their slovenly compatriots.

And in between the outsiders and the patriots are the fence-sitters. These are people like the general public, and some named characters.

They’re not the enemy per se, but they’re mindset is still regarded as wrong-headed by the story.

Specifically because they are not devoted enough to the cause.

The wall’s denizens are able to live lives no worse than they would otherwise, and they’re satisfied with that, yet the story regards that thinking as insular and complacent.

People like Jean, Sasha, and Hannes are shown to be in the wrong throughout the story, and they only come around to the good side when they learn to devote their hearts.

Jean wanted to live safely in the interior, away from the action. He started off bad because he was only fighting for himself; he became good when he started fighting for his country.

Sasha also wasn’t a team player at the start. She hated that people were moving into her area, even though they were refugees looking for a new place to live. She only straightens out when she learns that she’s part of a larger group and the needs of the group are more important than her own.

Hannes was a lazy soldier who shapes up later in the story. He still died, but the point remains: he got gud only when he learned to be a patriot.

All of the bad guys are the ones who don’t fight hard enough.

The series had a lot of Donald Trump energy to it, with so much talk about People Who Look Like Us But Really They’re Different infiltrating society, and a complacent populace that doesn’t respect the military not caring about a vaguely tangible threat.

Worse than that, honestly. Trump just wanted to build a wall to keep the titans out; for a time, Eren was the hero specifically because he wanted to go beyond that wall and kill all the Mexicans.

Things started going in heavy on the satire in the Uprising arc. Unfortunately Isayama is no Jon Swift.

Japan is constitutionally committed to pacifism and formally renounces war as a solution to conflict.

In Attack on Titan, King Fritz forbids the Eldians from defending themselves because he’s a pacifist who renounces war.

You just know Isayama thinks this is hot shit he’s writing.

But wait, it’s worse!

The King Fritz character is a caricature for the conservative’s boogeyman du jure: the woke progressive.

He obsesses over the sins of the past.

He self-flagellates over it.

He talks endlessly about needing to atone, but also that they can never atone for what happened.

He abhors war even with a gun to his head.

He’s Tucker Carlson’s straw man punching bag. The AOC of SNK.

It’s like Trump wrote this.

Dummy-head King Fritz is practically screaming that modern eldians are guilty of genocide! But I know sins of father should not be visited on the son. Covfefe?

It goes from weird to *eww* when the story associates the wokeheads with barbaric, cult-like rituals. They pass down the Founding Titan by having one person ritualistically titanize and devour the other.

……okay.

So.

You could write a biting satire of left-wing politics, it just wouldn’t look like this. Attack on Titan is always at its worst when it tries to be better than it is.

Real life progressives emphasize past atrocities only because they feel those atrocities haven’t been properly acknowledged. And they talk about atonement because, naturally, if they haven’t been acknowledged, proper penance almost certainly hasn’t been given.

Satire works best when you take something and judge it on terms everyone, regardless of political persuasion, can agree on, thus demonstrating its shortcomings.

Everyone generally agrees on whether a stupid thing is stupid, so if you can successfully take the basic tenants of a position and cast them in a silly light, you’ve successfully made a valid point about that position’s failings. And maybe you’ve won some people over to boot.

SNK isn’t going to convince anyone, and I doubt Isayama was aiming for that anyway. It all reads like catnip for the people who already drank the kool-aid.

SNK’s attempt at skewering wokism is to say that with their mindset, the terrorists win. No nuance or exploration, just labeling people who disagree with you lazy, greedy, unpatriotic.

All the invective of Juvenal but actually juvenile.

I think the undercurrent of unironic nationalism peaks in the Uprising Arc, where the greedy elites are overthrown by the military in a populist coup.

It’s a classic nationalist narrative.

Greedy businessmen who don’t truly care about the country are a common boogeyman in right-wing circles.

And of course the military, being a symbol of national strength and sacrifice, is often valorized by right-wingers.

After the basement reveal, though, there’s been a notable shift in perspective.

SNK definitely takes a more critical view of nationalism now.

Turns out Grisha was part of a nationalist gang, and he was so caught up in nationalistic fervor he dehumanized his own son and only saw him as a stepping stone to racial dominance.

The people of Paradis have whipped themselves into a nationalistic frenzy. The people were calling for genocide against the marleyans.

When the government refused to commit to that, the government that had overthrown its predecessor in a nationalist coup was itself overthrown in a nationalist coup.

Don’t forget the last we saw of Paradis before leaving it: people celebrating Eren’s genocide. While the Alliance is giving their lives to save humanity, Paradis is partying like there’s no tomorrow.

SNK has almost become a metacommentary on itself; a story about how nationalist narratives backfire and only lead to more conflict.

I’m still not prepared to say SNK is fully anti-nationalist, though.

This reads to me like Isayama trying to have his cake and eat it. He wants to send a broadly pro-nationalist message while warning of the excesses of his own ideology.

There are good and bad points to be made about this.

It’s great that the series is covering all its bases.

Whatever its faults, SNK is a series that discusses its themes from multiple angles.

When the series talks about freedom, it talks about it in all its permutations.

Negative freedom, as when Eren wants humanity to be able to live beyond the walls.

Positive freedom, as when Historia builds an orphanage so the kids can build better lives for themselves.

Political freedom, as when King Fritz’s regime is toppled and society is liberalized.

Freedom from external forces, as when the Eldians struggle to be free from discrimination.

Freedom from internal inhibitions, as when Historia overcomes her self-doubt and lives for herself.

False freedom, as when the mainland Eldians delude themselves and think freedom comes by serving their Marleyan masters.

I appreciate that Isayama is willing to put in the effort to showcase his themes in all their variations.

…

Ok, so here’s the bad stuff.

I think the series harps on nationalism a lot because it’s part of a larger theme of self-determination.

SNK is, ofc, a series about self-determination. I’ve already talked about how it’s about freedom; freedom necessarily implies self-determination.

But there are two levels to this theme: the individual and the collective.

On the level of individual self-determination, there is Historia and her arc. She was a slave to other people’s expectations, and she chose to disregard those expectations and live for herself.

This theme is repeated again with individual Eldians like Reiner and Gabi, as well as Armin. These are people who’s ability to lead their best lives is limited by various circumstances.

They are unfree.

Reiner and Gabi are Eldians in a Marleyan dominated society. They want to live their lives and build a better life for their friends and family, but they can’t because of racism.

Armin wants to explore the outside world, but can’t because of the titans.

The theme of the story is that people have a right to control their own course, and they very much have a right to defend, even kill, in the name of preserving that right.

However lily-livered our heroes are, it is always drilled into them that they have to kill to enjoy the freedom they want.

I think Isayama harps on nationalism a lot because he believes that individual rights can be safely applied to groups; that groups have a right to self-determination just as much as individuals.

There is an individual level to freedom and there is a collective level.

In chapter 1, it’s not just Eren or Armin who are unfree, it is humanity that is unfree.

The titans took humanity’s land and humanity is entitled to take that land back.

Eren’s dream was for humanity to stand up for itself, not any one human.

That is a seriously flawed way of thinking.

Individuals are fundamentally different from groups of individuals. You can get away with it up to a certain point, but individual rights and group rights don’t always align. That contradiction is something the series has hinted at, but has never fully dealt with.

Historia’s pregnancy is the prime example. She’s a person with rights, but also possibly the key to her people’s survival.

Erwin’s death was also an example. Erwin devoted his heart to humanity and led them well, but when the time came to resurrect him, the choice was made to let him rest in peace. Erwin was a big asset to humanity, but it was decided to leave him be.

SNK seems to believe that when this contradiction arises, individual rights should prevail. That’s good, because most people would argue that.

But to think of group rights in this way, as being an outgrowth of a general right to self-determination, alongside individual rights, is questionable.

The central conflict of the story is over the rights of Eldians, not as individuals, but as a group. Victory for the good guys is framed as a matter of winning Eldian self-determination.

That is a distinctly nationalist framework, and I object to that.

This is very tricky to write about because it’s natural to think about it in terms of groups.

Eldians as a group are hated, so naturally a solution would be thought of in terms of Eldians as a group.

It’s not wrong per se, but it cannot also be seen outside the light of SNK’s prior nationalist undertones.

I don’t think I’m conveying my thoughts very well, but…it’s just…

People say that SNK completely changed after the basement, but that’s wrong.

SNK is the same series it’s always been at heart.

It is because of this that moralizing about collective self-determination is something that raises eyebrows.

It is almost certainly part and parcel with the series’ prior nationalist urgings.

…

……

(Word count: 2077)

Fuck.

Uh.

Er.

Eren!

Shithead! What are you doing, Yeager?

Eren is a monster.

Literally.

So the truth comes out, and it’s exactly what I expected it would be.

People can disagree about Eren being a nationalist, but no one can deny that he is clearly an avatar for the ideology.

Eren loves his friends. He loves his family. He loves his people.

But just as the archetypical nationalist’s love becomes twisted to justify all sorts of atrocities, so too has Eren’s love become a hellish monstrosity.

Like the archetypical nationalist, Eren can only see the world in zero-sum terms.

“If we lose, we die. If we win, we live. And you can’t win if you don’t fight.”

That is his motto. It’s Paradis or the world. One or the other, but not both. There can be no peace, no coexistence, no compromise.

People have said that Eren has changed, but that’s wrong. This is just the logical conclusion of his exclusionary, nationalist mindset. The mindset he’s had from the very beginning.

Eren describes life behind the walls as undignified. He describes humanity’s comeback as a reclamation of that dignity.

Dignity not in the sense of his personal dignity, but in terms of humanity’s collective dignity.

That is to say he was thinking as a nationalist does even as a kid.

In some contexts, it makes sense to think of humanity as a singular entity. Administrative purposes, for example, or even just to foster a sense of community, but to think of humanity the way Eren does demonstrates a nationalist mindset and all that implies.

For Eren, humanity isn’t just a singular entity, humanity is almost like a living organism. He talks about humanity as an organism that can have indignity visited upon it, as an organism that needs to stand up for itself, that needs to fight.

(By the way, another example of Isayama’s hack writing: the Eldian people are a nation. A group of people bound together by a shared culture and history.

And wouldn’t you know it: the Eldians are bound together by P A T H S, a metaphysical bond through which Eldians can experience the shared history of their race.

This is such hack writing!)

Talking about humanity in this way in this context is very revealing about Eren’s worldview.

In the nationalist’s eyes, the nation is a singular organism whose survival is paramount; the individuals who compose the nation are not as important.

That’s why nationalism tends to lead to so many awful outcomes. The ideology is inherently dehumanizing even for the people the nationalist views as on his side.

But what I like about this depiction is how the series shows the contradictions inherent to that.

Eren may view the survival of humanity, and now Eldians, as paramount, as more important than any one life, even his own, but he’s still a human being who can form connections with others.

I think this is why Eren’s turned on his friends the way he has.

“To fight monsters, we have to abandon our humanity.”

Eren has taken Armin’s words to their logical conclusion: to survive, we have to dehumanize ourselves.

Thus, we end up with Eren pushing his friends away. He knows he has to separate himself from his humanity to be able to do the ghastly things he was planning.

This is the contradiction inherent to nationalism. It takes human emotions and twists it towards inhuman actions.

Not just questionable actions (which aren’t actually questionable, but are framed as such by the story) like Erwin’s strategies, but genuinely inhuman stuff.

SNK may be sympathetic to the ideology, but it’s heartening that the series is willing to be so critical of nationalist excesses.

(Setting aside for a second that nationalism of any degree is in itself arguably excessive.)

With Eren, SNK has taken maxims and morals it previously championed and picked them apart. The series wants us to fight, but now it’s showing us what happens when you fight too hard. The story is almost like a deconstruction of itself.

As far as free will is concerned, I think Eren’s right. He is in fact committing this genocide.

I don’t want Eren to be a puppet to the Attack Titan, or for him to somehow be absolved of this crime he’s committed.

When Eren confronted Reiner in the basement in Liberio, Eren was the one who offered excuses for why Reiner wasn’t to blame for the Grim Reminder. Reiner was the one who shot them down.

I don’t actually think this is correct, but the story frames things like “you were a child,” or “you were brainwashed,” as insufficient to absolve Reiner.

SNK’s morals seem to dictate that Reiner gets no get out of jail free card.

He may have just been a kid. He may have been under duress, but he still broke the walls, so it’s all his fault.

Eren seconded that notion. Reiner said as much, and Eren agreed.

Reiner is indeed a half-assed piece of shit, and so is Eren.

Regardless of the circumstances or other extraneous factors at play, Eren is doing this, and that’s it.

One of the themes of SNK is that we own our actions. What we do has consequences and those consequences, in turn, are reflective of us. They illuminate our character.

Eren owns this.

There is no Attack Titan Svengali to scapegoat or excuses to be made.

Eren is killing billions of people for his race because that is who he is.

It’s who he always was.

Speaking of the series hopefully not reneging on its themes, I really hope Hange is dead and there is no afterlife.

That would be a really, *really* stupid idea.

SNK does not romanticize death.

When Erwin died, he was taken from Levi.

When Ymir died, she was taken from Historia.

When Floch died, he was taken from Eren.

Hange’s death was a tragedy. I understand Isayama wanted to send them off on a poetic note, and I hope that’s all this was.

It’s fine to symbolize a character making peace in death with what they did in life.

I do not want this to be the hint of an afterlife people are making it out to be.

Death in SNK has consequences.

When you die, your ability to contribute to this mortal world is done.

They could have brought Erwin back to fight for them, but they chose to let him die. His death was framed as an honorable discharge from duty.

When you die, the hopes, dreams, and beauty that was your life is extinguished. Everything you’ve worked for and built is out of your hands and in the control of your posterity.

Death is fundamentally a bad thing. The bad guys in SNK are the people who relish in mass genocide.

Marley.

Zeke.

Eren.

Death is momentous to the heroes of SNK, but to the villains, death is but a stepping stone to another, usually self-serving, goal.

Marley wishes death on Paradis so they can solidify their dominance over the world.

Zeke wishes death on the Eldians because he’s bent on taking his self-hatred out on his own people.

Eren wishes death on humanity because he’s been spat on his whole life, and now that he’s big and strong, he wants to flex on them.

Death is a bad thing, but if death means you get to live it up with all your friends and have a happy existence in the afterlife…is death really a bad thing?

I do not want this. No thanks.

…I actually like Hange’s death, btw.

I interpret the “afterlife” as just a poetic send off for their character, and on that level, it’s a good death.

So, I already talked about Eren’s role in the story, I guess I should pad things out with some talk about him as a character.

All throughout the story Eren has been focused on one goal: achieving freedom.

“freedom” is pretty vague though. You can be free in some ways, but unfree in others, and many people would still say you’re free overall.

What does freedom mean to Eren Yeager?

Eren has judged his freedom throughout the story by referencing his circumstances.

Titans right outside the door? Unfree.

Unable to go where he wishes? Unfree.

Victim of racist oppression? Definitely unfree.

Defining something in terms of what it’s not isn’t very ideal though.

So really, what is freedom to Eren?

Freedom for Eren meant being able to see the world.

Flaming water, frozen plains, sandy snowfields.

A lot of people misread this as meaning Eren’s goal was to see the world, but in truth that was just a means to an end.

Seeing the world was a gauge to Eren. It was a way to measure how free he was.

But that still doesn’t answer the question: what does freedom mean to Eren?

Well, in hindsight it was always obvious, but now we know for sure.

“Ever since I was born, there, before my eyes stood those miserable walls. Flaming water, frozen plains, snowfields on sand. I’m sure that the outside world is way bigger than the one inside of these walls. Anyone who saw those things would be the freest person in the world.”

Absolute power.

The power to break down any wall that stands in his way.

Marleyans, warriors, even his friends. Eren is free because he answers to no one. No one can stop him. No one can beat him. He is the god of this world.

Freedom for Historia meant having her autonomy. The power to live for herself.

Freedom for Eren, in stark contrast, meant absolute domination.

Historia was fine with knowing that the whole world hates her guts and wants her dead, but not Eren. Historia would work to survive as best as she could, but she doesn’t pretend that those people aren’t human beings who deserve to live.

Not Eren.

His thought process is if you’re barreling towards conflict and you have the power to wipe them away easily, then why the fuck not?

We have nukes. We have the power to wipe out North Korea. Why the fuck not?

Eren’s solution to the cycle of violence is to be the last man standing in the end.

That’s the type of person Eren is.

Simple and ruthless.

It all comes back to power with him.

Want to end the cycle of violence?

Be stronger than anyone else.

Want to protect your friends?

Be strong enough to do it.

Want to be free?

Be strong enough to claim it for yourself.

And don’t be afraid to step on people to get it.

And that’s Eren in a nutshell.

What about Mikasa?

Let me say that at first I actually hated Mikasa.

She lost her family at a young age and she wants to protect her new one. That’s really sweet, but what really grated me was how utterly incapable she was at compartmentalizing that.

Protecting Eren was her only goal. She didn’t care about anything else.

She joined the military just to protect Eren, and it showed. There was always some friction whenever her orders conflicted with being able to protect Eren.

Her single-minded desire to protect Eren has consistently held her back. Strength isn’t a problem for her; her character flaw is that she cares too much for someone else.

Mikasa has to constantly be kept from flying off the handle whenever Eren is in trouble. When Eren needs rescuing, her brain turns off and she moves without thinking.

Usually someone manages to restrain her, but when that doesn’t happen, she usually does stupid shit.

Levi can tell you all about that.

My point is that Eren is someone prone to not thinking, and when that bites him, Mikasa starts not thinking too, and while that usually doesn’t bite her since she’s Mikasa, it still illustrates a bad dynamic.

The ultimate culmination of this toxic relationship is this story arc.

In 132, Mikasa refuses to say she’ll kill Eren. Instead she’s going to bring the old Eren back.

Like, fucking really?

“That man isn’t Ehreh, the man I love, he’s Eren, the Bad Guy!”

Mikasa is every abuse victim who keeps crawling back to their abuser.

Eren verbally abused Mikasa until she cried.

But instead of standing up for herself, she makes excuses for him.

First she was desperately trying to find some explanation for why he abused her, and now that it’s undeniable that Eren’s a lunatic, she’s settled on the old “I’m going to fix him” excuse.

Strength isn’t a problem for Mikasa; her character flaw is that she cares too much about Eren.

No one can deny that Eren and Mikasa’s relationship has devolved into an abusive one.

Don’t even try it.

I don’t think Mikasa’s confrontation with Eren will be as straightforward as people think.

Everyone expects Mikasa to overcome her unwillingness to kill Eren and do it.

I don’t know if that will happen or not, but I think it’s important not to lose sight of the fact that Eren is the main character and this is his story.

If we really are in a place where the main character is waiting to be killed off so the story can end…that’s pretty lame.

When Eren touched Historia’s hand, he saw the future.

Everything.

His attack on Marley, the Yeagerist rebellion, Falco.

Everything.

Are we really supposed to believe he didn’t see the Alliance coming for him?

That all this time, Eren knew he’d have to kill Mikasa to succeed?

That’s probably why Eren’s POV has been shrouded so much. Obviously this is something he’d be dwelling on a lot.

That’d fuel some good character drama going into the climax.

I think Mikasa will be the one who dies.

Eren is the main character, and it’s his story.

After everything he’s done, he can’t get off easy.

Being killed my Mikasa is too good for him. He’s going to die anyway, and while dying now means he failed, he won’t be able to experience that failure.

Eren doesn’t deserve to die.

No, he deserves to fail, and he deserves to live with that failure.

Eren is ostensibly doing all this to protect his friends, so the only way to truly punish him is to take those friends away from him.

Maybe throw in Historia too while we’re at it.

…That’s a dark note to end this on.

Uhm.

Hey, look!

4486 words!

\o/

#shingeki no kyogin #attack on titan #snk 131 #snk 132 #spoilers

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annoyinglyjovialbird · 4 years ago

Text

Voltron: Next Generation

Dangerous Clashes: III

Word Count: 3245

AN: A little longer chapter today since its my birthday. Thanks!

Whether it was smart or dumb, the guards delivered the armor to Kova's makeshift cell. She spent a few minutes looking it over, then started working. The bodysuit was like a second skin, completely different than the street clothes she wore before.

The tech on the suit was older than anything she had ever seen, but that was the privilege of attending the intergalactic hub on Earth. We mean the Garrison if you're lost.

She was attempting to use a paperclip as a pair of pliers on the location tracker when the door reopened. Ezrid, or Vhix, stood in the doorframe. Kova spared him a glance before returning to her work.

"Are you not going to say anything?" Vhix asked, crossing his arms behind his back.

"Should I?" Kova glanced at him again, noting the scowl that crossed his face.

"You should be grateful for everything we've given you." He hissed. "Most prisoners rot in the cells below, never seeing their home planets again."

"Ooh, how scary." Kova mocked him. "I should be grateful for being put in a janitor's closet. That's rich."

"What are you doing to the suit?" Vhix asked, noticing her position. He was about to cross the boundary. He was about to trigger the explosion before she was ready.

"NO!" She yelled. "Stay away from me!" Vhix stepped back, shocked at being yelled at. "I don't want you anywhere near me!" Vhix found his voice, fixing his dark blue cape.

"Aren't you overreacting, Kyla?" He smiled, talking in the tone you would talk to most children with. She stood up from her place on the floor to at least be eye-level with him.

"I'm not the one our parents chased across the galaxy." She cocked her head. "Am I overreacting?" Vhix had no words. He only looked on with wide eyes. Almost like he didn't know what her parents had done. Without another word the door closed, leaving Kova alone once again.

She had to finish the suit.

Right. Now.

——————

"Cake, cover me!" Caleb yelled over the intercoms.

"You got it!" Cake yelled back, moving his controls. The Coeus had taken another hit. This time, there was a small platoon of ships striking. The Red and Yellow Lions were deployed, against Shiro's orders. The Lions were taking heavy hits, but at least there was no attention at the Coeus.

The Red Lion was zipping past the cruisers, all their shots missing. The Red Lion was fighting its pilot, but Caleb was having none of it. The Yellow Lion, as the densest lion material-wise, was ramming into the cruisers head-on.

Liz and Kenny were readying the Coeus for defense, while Allie cowered in a corner. She would have to come out eventually, but for now, she was staying put.

The Yellow Lion zoomed past the cruisers, either ramming itself through them or leaving them alone for later pickings.

A communication link request was sent to the Coeus, which Liz immediately refused without looking at it. She glanced at Allie, who was covering her pointy ears with her hands, hoping to silence the gunfire.

"Can you guys stop playing and knock them out already?" Liz yelled over the intercom to the boys, who weren't quick to respond. The Red Lion was drawing fire towards the enemy ships while Cake used their distraction and fear to ram them down. In the end, all but one of the ships were destroyed.

Seeing the last cruiser fly away, the Red and Yellow lions released a deafening roar and returned to the Coeus. The Coeus had activated their particle barrier and it would be up for the next few hours until it deactivated itself.

"Now that that's taken care of," Caleb said. The screen on the bridge appeared, showing the paladins inside their respective lions. "What's next?"

"We're going to have to double-check every point we travel to if we're going to make another jump."

"Ugh, seriously?" Cake complained. "That will take way longer than whatever we were doing before!"

"Well, its the only thing we've got right now." Liz was at the head of the bridge, Kova's place, typing away. Kova's console, as it turned out, was the only console with complete access to all files and consoles onboard.

"Griffin's right," Caleb spoke, leading the Red Lion to fly underneath the Coeus. "If we want to avoid another encounter like that, we're going to have to be more careful."

"But that will take ages!" Cake groaned, rolling his eyes.

"It's better than not doing anything," Caleb said.

"Right, 'cause we're still looking for Kova while trying to keep the Coeus intact." Neither Liz nor Caleb were amused by Cake's comment. "Easy enough."

"Speaking of Kova, Griffin, how are we doing?"

"The tracking is still activated, and it shows we're about one full jump away from reaching her." Liz looked away from the camera and console for a minute, staring at something off-screen. She turned back with a sigh. "I have to take care of something now, but all systems are stable and shield will deactivate in a few hours. Until then, just hang on tight." The connection between the Coeus and the Red and Yellow Paladins was cut, and Cake and Caleb were now left alone with only each other to talk to.

Where do we even begin with these two? Cake and Caleb were on different teams since they started as cadets at the Garrison. Kova and Caleb had similar leadership tactics, but they weren't on the same level. Caleb was maybe a few months behind Kova's level of understanding. At nine years old, she repaired a major issue on the Achlys. An issue the top engineers couldn't figure out. Kova was the only thing Caleb and Cake had in common. Beyond that, there was nothing. Cake was half-Balmeran. Caleb was completely human. Cake was raised by his biological parents. Caleb was adopted by the Shiroganes at three years old. Cake lived on Earth after ten years old. Caleb hadn't even been to space.

"This might seem like a weird question, and you don't have to answer," Cake began. Caleb raised an eyebrow. "But didn't Keith have a dog?"

"I, uh, don't know, actually," Caleb said. "Dad and Uncle Lance used to stories, but I don't know if they ever mentioned pets."

"Really? I could've sworn my dad mentioned a dog."

"Huh." Caleb sat back in his chair. If there was a dog, why wasn't it ever mentioned again? "Maybe we could ask Keith about it."

"Maybe." Cake agreed. "Hey, uh, where are you?"

"Under." /Please say it/, Caleb thought. Kova always switched her words and Cyrus copied her. No one did it.

"Under /where/?" Caleb erupted in laughter, while Cake looked around confused. /Then/ he realized the joke.

"Ha ha, okay, very funny, Caleb." Cake said sarcastically.

Onboard the Coeus, Keith and Shiro were sequestered away in Shiro's office. While Caleb and Cake disobeyed orders, Shiro was getting Keith up to speed on everything they had been doing.

"The Fire of Purification was terminated as a threat years ago." Shiro had activated a holoscreen, showing the progression board the team had been working on. They were at the beginning of the current threats when Keith spoke. "I killed Sendak!"

"I know." Shiro took a seat across the desk from Keith. "It seems that some of their former members resurfaced with a vengeance, and began recruiting."

"The Fire of Purification wanted to wipe out every species in the universe if it meant conserving the Galra."

"And that mission changed with the times." Shiro leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "The Fire we're fighting today was led by a half-Galra and is currently being led by a different one."

"The one that might've taken your daughter." Shiro's eyes widened a little, shock written on his face. As quickly as it came, it left.

"Yes. Her status is the reason for the bounty on her head."

"She's half-Galra?"

"Yes, but that's not the only thing." Shiro turned off the holoscreen progression and removed it from his desk. Taking out the tablet Kova had given him when they began this crazy journey, Shiro logged into the Garrison's database. "The students have given her the nickname 'Jax'." Shiro turned the tablet to show Keith the screen. A picture of Kova was on it. Her eyes were like steel, and her features were cut from stone. Her uniform jacket was crisp, and her hair was pulled away from her face in a bun. That was all that could be seen. Shiro turned the screen away from Keith and swiped to view the next picture. It was Kova's log. Her entire school history was there for the men to see.

"Why do they call her that?"

"Her teachers would call her a jack of all trades, then it became Jack. To be fair, most instructors thought she was a boy when they heard about her capabilities. Eventually, the student body would call Jack, then Jax. It stuck."

"Teachers? Instructors? Like, she had multiple people teaching her?" Keith was astounded. Even he didn't require that much instruction, and he was considered the best pilot of his generation.

"Programming, engineering, piloting, was offered private instruction with Commander Holt but declined, and still had time to spend with Lance and our family. Before we left Earth, she was being scouted as an instructor by other schools."

"With someone like that," Keith began.

"She could win wars if she stood on the front lines." Shiro finished Keith's sentence. "Caleb is capable of it, too, but he isn't as hyper detailed as Kova."

"So the Fire wants your daughter, Kova, on their side?"

"More than anything." Keith sat back in his chair, staring into the void. Shiro turned off and put away the tablet while Keith contemplated everything.

"What are we waiting for, then?" Keith said, standing from his chair. A hand rested on his hip with an iconic smile on his face. "Let's get her back."

—————

"C'mon, c'mon!" Kova muttered under her breath. "Change color, you stupid light!" She stood on the dirty mattress in the furthest corner of the room. The garbage bag that held her street clothes was propped against the wall closest to the emergency toilet. The dark gray armor fit Kova almost perfectly, but if she wasn't careful, there could be an opening. Her hair was tied in a braided bun at the back of her head, her helmet screen open. She was trying to change the color of the insignia on her chest plate, but for whatever reason, it didn't. The top of the insignia was blue and the bottom was the original purple.

The sewer was emptying, and her window of opportunity was going with it. Let's all say it now: NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE COLOR OF YOUR STUPID LIGHT!

Heavy footsteps rang through the room. The metal grate was horrible like that. The steps became heavier, the metal groaned louder, and Kova's heart raced faster as they approached her room.

"Screw this!" She finally exclaimed, throwing the paperclip aside, grabbed her plastic bag, and stood at the mouth of the gaping hole. The footsteps had stopped just outside her door. Indistinguishable words were being exchanged between the guards and the newcomer, but Kova wouldn't be around to see it. First went the bag, making a disgusting brown splash on the sewer walls. It was carried only a few feet from the weak current before coming to a standstill. Activating her helmet screen to completely cover her face, Kova took a deep breath.

May Allura give her strength.

She jumped feet first into the hole. The brown, maybe green liquid splashed under her feet, but there was no time to consider what it could or couldn't be. As soon as her boots made contact with the bottom of the pipe, Kova ran, grabbing the plastic bag on the way.

In her now empty room, the door opened to reveal the maniac himself with his second-in-command in tow.

"Where is she?" Yorak asked, staring at the empty room.

"Let me see," Vhix said, pushing past Yorak into the room. His step into the room triggered the boxes of yeast the guards had brought Kova to fall into the buckets of peroxide and dish soap at their feet. As the yeast fell into the buckets, the white foam quickly overfilled the buckets, spilling onto the floor. The metal grate didn't allow the foam to stay very long, but the results were worth it. Vhix was quickly overwhelmed by the foam, slipping on the metal grate. Yorak was fuming, his expression dark. He turned his stone-cold eyes to the guard at his right. The guard, for what it's worth, was rusting their armor at the glare.

"Search the ship," Yorak growled, whipping his head to meet the stare of the second guard. "If she isn't found, it's your lives." Vhix had somehow stood and walked away from the foam. Thankfully for him, yeast doesn't stain. The guards ran down the hallways like their lives depended on it, because they did.

"I told you we should have kept her in a prison cell," Vhix muttered, trailing foam. Yorak sighed, staring at the mess Kova had caused.

"If we did, she would've discovered our plans before she was ready." Yorak stalked away from the room, heading for the bridge. Vhix strode after him, still trailing foam.

"She isn't going to switch sides so easily." Vhix shook his shoulders, then aggressively shook his cape. "She's been taught to be a paragon of power."

"As am I." Yorak turned to meet Vhix's eyes. Vhix was one of few to meet the stone-cold gaze of the Emperor and not shake in fear. The others were either dead or changed.

Down below, Kova ran, drifted, and jumped over pipes, large lumps of something, and tight corners. She simply followed the current. Kova's sloshed steps grew faster as voices grew louder overhead. The desire to live was starting to become her. Out of some misfortune, there was no exit to the sewer. At least, no exit she could use. The water escape through a small vent at the bottom of a wall.

Kova looked up at the metal grate, searching for a means of escape. Another hole was torn into the metal grate directly above the sewer. Another emergency toilet. Tossing her bag through the hole, Kova jumped to grab hold of the edge. The sharp, torn metal pierced her skin through the bodysuit, but it did not break.

She was in yet another janitor's closet, but it was worth it. If the map on the wall is correct, she's about ten feet from the closest exit.

Activating the helmet's shade, Kova walked straight for the doors that led to her freedom. The door opened up, four armed soldiers running past her without a glance in her direction. Quick as can be, she slipped through the doors.

The room was a loading bay, stocked with wooden crates and small cruisers. If she could hotwire one, it would make her escape all the better.

"Hey! You!" A voice yelled from above Kova's head. It didn't sound like either Yorak or Vhix, so at least she was safe. "What are you doing here? This ward is restricted to—" Kova turned to face the man yelling at her. He noticed the blue on Kova's insignia. The light is pretty hard to miss. The man yelling at her stared at the faceless armored soldier with surprise, then anger. "Hey! I found the runaway!"

With a salute, Kova booked it to the doors. The man, completely caught off-guard, panicked, climbed the railing, and jumped to the floor twenty feet below. He didn't chase after her. At least, not immediately.

Three armor-clad soldiers marched in, holding their weapons up. Kova had made it to the wall on the other, the door that should lead outside. One of the soldiers had fired on her, hitting the door three feet from Kova's head. She ignored it, searching for the control switch. It required a password to open it. Another blast was fired, only inches from her face.

Kova turned to see the firing squad. They wouldn't kill her. Of course, they wouldn't. That's a death wish waiting to happen. Yorak and Vhix still want her alive.

One of the soldiers aimed at the wall next to Kova, hoping to ricochet a blast to knock her out without completely damaging her. The soldier's stance wavered, the gun along with it. Kova held her hands up in surrender, but the soldiers made no moves to apprehend her. Not until they were sure they wouldn't be attacked. The soldier's finger was prepared to pull the trigger. It wouldn't take much, just a little push.

The entire ship took a blow, and everyone took a fall. Kova held onto the frame of the door closest to the control panel. She connected her armpiece to the control panel, uploaded her code, and the door opened. As the oxygen was being sucked into the nothingness of space, some of the lighter boxes were being thrown out as well. Kova hoped it was food so they could slow down their pursuit. As the suction pulled everything, Kova braced herself and threw herself out into the nothingness.

Curled into a small ball, she spun until she wasn't sure which way was up and down. Is there even an up and down in space? Kova had been pulled so far away from the ship, she could see what had caused the blast.

The Coeus had come to the rescue, firing heavy blasts to the side of the enemy ship. A particle barrier had been activated, glowing orange. Two figures were dancing in front of the barrier. It took Kova a tick to realize they weren't just any figures. It was the Lions.

Red sped past the entire length of the enemy ship, firing on the windows of their bridge. Yellow was clawing the side Red had left unscathed. Escape pods began to leave the ship, and Red noticed. It took after them, preparing to fire again when a small blast hit their snout. Red turned its head to look for the culprit.

Kova fired again. She was so glad the arm piece had a laser, or she would have been a goner.

Red was hit again between the eyes. Forgetting its original prey, it flew towards the source of the blasts.

As Red got closer, Kova hung onto her bag for dear life. She was floating into nothingness. She didn't want to be like Keith! Lost for ten years until the new generation of Voltron came to find her. They haven't even formed Voltron!

Red stopped before Kova, staring at her figure. What was wrong? Didn't he recognize her? Then she remembered she still had the shade on. Deactivating it, she stared at Red again. Red opened its mouth, and Kova floated into it. The depressurization left Kova lying on the bottom of Red's mouth staring at the top of it. Eventually, she stood and joined Caleb in the pilot seat. He was updating the Coeus on the mission.

Kova placed a hand on his shoulder, to which Caleb lay his own over it. They shared a look, and Caleb turned Red around to return to the Coeus. Kova slept in Red's cockpit until the barrier deactivated a few hours later.

#voltron: next generation #keith kogane #takashi shirogane #igf coeus #yorak #vhix #fire of purification #kovalia shirogane #caleb shirogane #red lion #yellow lion #voltron galra #voltron altean

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pickledchickenetti · 6 years ago

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So I’ve had something on my mind for the last week or two that I’ve been trying to figure out how to best start a post about and coming up short. We all know that I have a tendency to be long-winded, and some of this post is going to be stream of consciousness, at least moreso than my usual longer posts, which I usually wait to start until I have a pretty solid idea of what I want to say and how I want to say it. I may go back and edit this some at the end, I may not, probably depends on how it comes out. (Edited at the end to add: I’m not editing anything. It’s long and I’m not expecting anyone to force themselves through it, but thanks to those who do!) Since this is partially me using my blog as a place to ruminate on some things, I’m going to put it under a read more for those who don’t want to have it clogging up their dashboard.

Lately I’ve had a lot of mixed feelings regarding social media and what voices and mindsets I allow to be a part of my everyday life. I put a lot of effort into carefully treading the line between taking unnecessary negativity out of my social media feeds and creating an echo chamber where I only see people who agree with me. Most of the time, the decision comes down to the tone and intent. If someone is consistently rude, angry, or condescending, with very little useful contribution to any conversation I unfollow them. This applies to people on Facebook who constantly use slurs, post hateful things about people with opposing beliefs or political stances (even if I generally agree with that person’s beliefs or stances) with little attention to facts, and it also applies to people here are just needlessly rude with no real contributions to the overall conversation.

The older I get, the more I find choosing kindness to be a priority in my life. I’m not perfect; I fully admit there are still times when I’m rude or condescending. Sometimes this is an accident, and unfortunately sometimes it isn’t. I don’t like this, and I try especially hard not to be intentionally condescending. Kindness is a choice, and progress takes time.

As I’m sure most of you know, I am often very critical of @kristagay‘s posts. I still stand by many, possibly even most, of the opinions I’ve shared. Kindness is important to me, but it’s also important to me to not let other people’s hurtful words or actions go unchecked when I have the ability to say/do something. (This applies to everyone in my radar, not just Krista.) I have very strong opinions on a number of subjects, but it’s especially important to me to speak up in defense of others in the LGBTQA community as that’s a community I belong to and those struggles are more personal to me.

A little while back, I got a string of anons (many were answered, some were deleted) that made it seem like someone was trying to create some sort of feud between me and Krista. As I said in one of the posts at that time, I was under no illusion that Krista was reading any of my posts that didn’t tag her directly, and had no interest in any sort of feud. Krista does not follow me, and in general does not seem to interact much on Tumblr beyond asks to her and posts she is directly tagged in (or reblogs/comments on her posts of course). I would likely be the same way if I stumbled onto a community of people discussing every little detail of people I was friends with in real life. I would want to set the record straight and defend my friends while also respecting their privacy, and as a result I doubt I’d interact much anyway. I respect her choice to not discuss them at all, even the things seen on TV, and hope she will continue to make that choice no matter how annoying people asking her for info might get. (And to Pickles and anyone else who has crossed the line and sent her intentionally inflammatory messages/questions about the Duggars or hate for the sake of hate, please kindly delete your accounts and learn how to interact with actual humans in a respectful way.)

When I got the string of anons asking me about Krista, I took a step back and tried to objectively examine why I followed Krista, why I continued to devote energy in responding to her posts, and if it was worth my time and emotional energy to continue doing so. The difference I found between Krista’s posts, which do often frustrate me, and posts from others who I have chosen to unfollow and/or block is the intent and context behind the posts.

At the end of the day, Krista and I are very similar. We were both raised in very conservative families/churches, who had different plans for us than the lives we’ve chosen to pursue. We’ve both come to believe differently about God than the churches we were raised in. And we both know what it’s like to have to keep up appearances, especially online, in order to not destroy (or majorly hurt) relationships with people in our lives offline who it’s still important to maintain a relationship with.

There are a couple big differences between us. First of all, I’m gay. I came to believe differently than the church I was raised in largely because I’ve had to just to be who I am and not feel depressed and suicidal all the time. When you grow up gay in a conservative family, life gives you two choices: shut off who you are and spend your life convincing yourself you are who you were told you were supposed to be or do major amounts of soul-searching to figure out who you are and how to accept yourself. When you’re already evaluating one major aspect of who you are and what you believe it becomes nearly impossible to not do that same evaluation on the other beliefs you were raised in. Because of this process, I’ve come to see a lot of hypocrisy and downright lies in the belief system I was raised in. This has pushed me into developing a pretty strong set of opinions, beliefs, and political stances that stand in stark contrast to my family and lifelong family friends.

As a cisgendered straight woman, Krista did not have this huge thing forcing her to do major soul-searching. Despite this, she has done soul-searching, and seems to still be doing it. (It’s really a lifelong process, after all.) She has stepped out into a world that she likely didn’t consider being able to live in as a little girl. She’s pursued an educational and career path that’s impressive for even women who were raised being encouraged to focus on education, so for someone in her church and belief system to get to where she is is monumental, and for that I applaud her. So while I definitely disagree with her beliefs on a number of subjects, and will continue to say so (with thoughtful responses, not just complaints) when I feel her posts call for it, I am doing my best to remember that no one was born perfect, and she is still learning just as much as the rest of us are. I’ve said many times that I really do believe her intentions are good, and I stand by that belief. She’s learning. She’s trying. She may be one of the more conservative voices in our tumblr community, but many of us have admitted we used to be worse than we are now, and she’s come a long way from who she once was too.

The other big difference between us, at least as far as tumblr goes, is that she has chosen to attach her name and face to her posts on here, and I have not. Many of you know who I am, follow me elsewhere, etc. That doesn’t change the fact that publicly, all you see is a food-based username and (currently) a photo of Jana Duggar on a boat. I share my first name, my age, and my general location. While someone who knew me offline could likely piece together my identity if they paid enough attention, I am careful to not overly-identify myself. This relative anonymity grants me the privilege of speaking freely online without worrying about offline consequences. Krista has not granted herself that same anonymity. I’m honestly a little embarrassed that I had never considered before the fact that she likely does not feel she can speak freely on Tumblr. I am very careful what I post on my other social media platforms. When my name and face are attached, I pretty much never mention LGBTQA issues for fear of outing myself and losing family members I’m not ready to lose. I don’t post about the abuses found in many Baptist churches or the lasting harmful effects I feel from my overly-religious childhood. This is partially to avoid a can of worms with a widespread ripple effect and partially out of respect for my parents and their desire to not have to defend me for believing things they don’t even agree with themselves. For Krista, the things she says here can and likely do affect her life offline, and it’s something that’s important to keep in mind when reading her posts.

I don’t say all of this to say that Krista gets a pass for hurtful things she says. We all are still accountable for the things we say, and she has chosen to put herself in the position of having to choose between saying things that will hurt her offline life, censoring herself, or staying silent. There are topics I still wish she would just address openly or not at all. But at the end of the day, she has the same right to censor herself here as I do elsewhere, and I will be trying to keep that in mind going forward. When interacting with her privately, she’s only ever proven herself to be kind and open to hearing what I have to say. In the future, I may give her the same respect I often give my offline friends where I just send her a DM to clarify her intent of a seemingly rude or hateful post instead of just calling her out publicly. We’re all learning, Krista included.

Social media, especially Tumblr, has given in to a dangerous mindset that’s often referred to as “cancel culture”. There are times when it is absolutely the right choice to “cancel” someone. Like I said at the beginning of my post, we have the right to choose what voices to allow into our feeds. We should all take advantage of that right and do what’s best for our mental health. I just think we should also be more mindful of context and intent when deciding whether or not to “cancel” someone. We all say we want young girls (and boys) in fundie communities to get out of that lifestyle and find better beliefs, but getting out doesn’t happen overnight. Many of us have the benefit of getting here after shedding many of our toxic beliefs. For those who aren’t there yet, I hope we will just remember to choose kindness and respect and do our best to be open to educating them without being hateful or derogatory.

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bobbystompy · 5 years ago

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68 Quotes I Enjoyed From 2019

Below are my favorite quotes from 2019. Though most occurred throughout the year, some took place before but were encountered during.

1) “I don’t bitch about Millenials.

John Entwistle once complained that he didn’t understand rap. Pete Townsend said, ‘It’s not our job to understand it. It’s our job to get the fuck out of the way.’

New generations come of age. The older generation’s job is to shut up and adapt.” - @danagould

2) “I can’t do drugs with you until we kiss.”

3) “If you pay me $50 I'll show up to your funeral but stand really far away, holding a black umbrella regardless of the weather, so that people think you died with a dark and interesting secret.” - @DanaSchwartzzz

4) “A human being is a dangerous thing to let loose in a room with itself, when it cannot think.” - Roger Ebert

5) “There are no bad bourbons, only better bourbons.” - Dave Hernandez

6) “You can’t put a dollar in a kimono.”

7) “This is how it was.” - rampant takeaway from watching ‘Superbad’ several years after its release

8) “What if I had been born fifty years before you in a house on the street where you lived / Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike / Would I know? / And in a wide sea of eyes, I see one pair that I recognize” - Ben Folds, ‘The Luckiest’

9) “Learn the rules so you can break them.”

10) “Nobody makes chili for two.” - Stacy Massey

11) “‘Best city in the world,’ I mutter to myself, as i adjust my ‘driving blanket’.” - Chicago resident Deanna Belos, during the 2019 Polar Vortex

12) “Dude, no one’s ever got arrested for listening to Counting Crows.” - Ricky O’Donnell, justifying late night music volume at his party

13) Bill Belichick: We’re going to have fun tonight. Rob Gronkowski: Yes we are. We deserve it. Belichick: You’re damn right. Gronk: I haven’t stepped out in like eight months. I gotta step out tonight. Belichick: I’m with you, man. I’m even going to step out. Gronk: Oh, I like it!

A Super Bowl winning exchange.

14) Center David Andrews thanked Bill Belichick for giving him "a shot".

Belichick disagreed with it.

Andrews: Thank you for giving me a shot. Belichick: A shot? I didn't give you shit. You earned it! I don't give anything.

Another Super Bowl winning exchange.

15) “We elected one of the very worst living human beings to be President, and it's exhausting. Each and every day, it's an exhausting slog, just to exist in a world where that's true.” - Michael Schur

16) “Some of y’all always picked Odd Job when you played Goldeneye and it shows” - @thedad

17) “Any app is a dating app if you try hard enough.” - Z.W. Martin (though he says it’s lifted)

18) "Once you're as woke as I am, you learn to feel bad all the time.”

19) “Everything’s a balance beam when you’re 90.” - John Dingell

20) [I wake up in a world where The Beatles never existed]

Me: Check out this song I just wrote

[I begin playing “Ob La Di Ob La Da” without having first built up years of goodwill]

Crowd of people: Wow, this sucks ass

-- @seanoneal

21) “People change people.” - Corey Matthews, Girl Meets World

22) “The easiest thing to do on earth is not write.” - William Goldman

23) “Dan could be like a difficult uncle. I didn’t love his fire-breathing conservative politics. I didn’t love the transformation that came over his novels. In Semi-Tough, he created two benighted Texas jocks and laid their prejudices bare. He was declaring himself a member of the Mark Twain coaching tree. In later books, Dan seemed to be trying to prove he could still tell a racist joke. He insisted that his memoir—the last truly immaculate piece of writing he delivered—include a tirade against political correctness. When his editor said people might be offended, Dan said, ‘Fuck people.’

There are certain writers whose style you pilfer. Certain writers whose moral fiber you try to inherit. For me, Dan represented a third category: a writer whose aura you replicate—or, failing that, try to stand in for a while.” - Bryan Curtis, on Dan Jenkins

24) “Never marry anything. Never choose. Even in love, it's better to be chosen.” - La Dolce Vita

25) “An uncluttered, uncomplicated happy ending might sound wonderful, but it’s hardly ever satisfying. Because the value of great stories lies in the tension between desire and need, between the yearning for the ideal, and the unshakable conviction that ideals don’t really exist, at least not the way we want them to. A great story should hurt a little when it leaves us. There should be some hope, but that hope should remain somewhere just an inch beyond our fingers, because that’s the truth. Even if you had all the perfect moments in the world, you’d still be reaching.” - Zach Handlen, on the Futurama series finale

26) “You can’t see him because he has sunglasses on.” - Alissa Levy

27) “The cinema is the greatest art form ever conceived for generating emotions in its audience. That's what it does best. (If you argue instead for dance or music, drama or painting, I will reply that the cinema incorporates all of these arts).” - Roger Ebert

28) “‘Are you gonna let politics ruin a friendship?’

Yes tf I am

People talk about politics as if it’s this isolated, abstract concept that only matters at election time. Somebody’s politics is their world view. It’s whether they think certain human beings deserve rights. It’s how they think the world should be. And if somebody thinks that the world should be colder, meaner, less accepting and downright hostile to people that are different to them, then sure as fuck is the friendship over.”

29) “Can the Supreme Court get me mushrooms?” - J-Papp

30) “Any song under two minutes already has a head start on its way into my heart. Just scream at me and then leave me.” - Drew Magary

31) “Long neck cold beers never broke my heart.” - Clemson Tom

32) “I’d just like to point out that the last spoken words of Game of Thrones were:

‘I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel.’”

- @Authoroux

33) “Just once before I die, I want to toss my keys to someone and tell them ‘Bring the car around’.” - Mike Skully

34) “For all the weight they're given, last words are usually as significant as first words.” - Grand Maester Pycelle, Game of Thrones

35) “The best remedy for unrequited love is a trip around the world.” - Cheers

36) [on switching from a hotel to a motel]

Manny: I don't like the sound of that. A lot of amenities disappear when an H turns into an M. Jay: Hey when I met you, you were eating cereal out of a bucket.

-- Modern Family

37) “You and Lindsey don’t want to be ‘estranged’. Estranged is the relationship we want to have with our mothers.” - MegFil

38) “Cigarettes are undefeated.”

39) “My toes are like my fingers on my feet. I can pick stuff up with them.” - Tracy Cunningham

40) “Republicans govern without shame, Democrats shame without governing.” - Bill Maher

41) Sam: I don’t understand the vagaries of the Internet Josiah: Post often, without thought, and you’ll either get cancelled or cancel someone else.

-- Blink-155

42) “Hang a lantern on your problems.”

43) “What a weird web we weave.” - The Situation, The Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

44) “Let the ocean worry about being blue.” - Alabama Shakes, ‘Hang Loose’

youtube

45) “Honesty without tact is cruelty.” - Shelley Rokos

46) “My whole life is the wrong porn link.”

47) “One parent can take care of 10 kids, but 10 kids cannot take care of one parent.” - Joe Gestetner, via “an old Yiddish saying”

48) “There are no heroes in the room.” - Classics of Love, ‘Gun Show’

youtube

49) “If I am a little dismissive, it's only because of my harrowing backstory.” - Mitchell, Modern Family (on why he doesn't like sports)

50) “Every time I’m wearing black, I meet a dog.” - Tracy Cunningham

51) “Shower sex? Why would I fuck in my crying chamber” - @chridollarsign

52) “My theory about quarterbacks, having written about some of them, is you either have to believe in god or think you are a god.” - Mina Kimes

53) “The contradictions of capitalism always manifest in our lyrics if you look deeply.” - Blake Schwarzenbach of Jawbreaker, Riot Fest 2019

54) “Got a ‘hang loose’ from the weakside bartender.”

55) “It’s Jennifer’s birthday always.” - Eric Hutchinson

56) “I can’t think of a less relevant artist in 2019 than Kanye West. A Jesus freak in a MAGA hat. Yeah, congrats dude -- you’re every grandma who watches ‘Young Sheldon’ and mails checks to Joel Osteen now.” - Dan Ozzi

57) “The past and future are in the mind. I’m in the now.” - Tom Brady, via someone else

58) “Sometimes you walk around boring places and you feel like the most exciting thing in it.” - Drew Magary

59) “Sitting is the new smoking.” - Modern Family

60) “I'll straight up fight folks at a book club and discuss books at a fight club I really don't give a shit anymore.” - George Wallace

61) “Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - Rose Garvey via wine country

62) “It’s all ‘ok boomer’ until you need someone who can drive stick shift.” - @OrdinaryAlso

63) “He likes the result of the math.” - Dad, talking about my worst subject frustrating during the process but satisfying in the end

64) Stepmom: Do you want a Bears urn or Alabama urn? Dad: Ask me after they play Auburn.

65) “A cold body carries a warm heart.” - Stefanos Tsitsipas’ Instagram, after his Iceland sabbatical

66) [preparing a dish called the Sandwich of Justice with his friend’s recipe]

"The fun thing about it is when you give it to someone, you can say 'Justice is served.’ That's, uh, Ryan's line. I built my whole life on the backs of my friends." - You Suck At Cooking

67) “Usually three people can keep a secret only when two of them are dead.” - The Irishman

68) “An artist can't control who consumes their content any more than a chemist can control how their chemicals are used once they're created.” - Brian Crooks

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saintmachina · 6 years ago

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What were some parts of seminary that you liked, versus ones you didn’t? I’m thinking about my future (read: freaking tf out) and I know I want to study theology in some way, I’m just not sure how exactly, ya feel?

Thanks for the question! Your mileage may vary: I went to a Princeton Seminary, which I would categorize as a theologically/politically moderate, academic, traditional Western-style seminary. Seminary culture varies WIDELY from school to school, so keep that in mind when choosing between, say, a Princeton, which may be a more insular academic community focused on research and internships, and a Fuller, which may be a larger community more integrated with the surrounding city concerned with practical training for missionaries, worship leaders, and Christian artists. This is NOT to say that you can’t learn to be an awesome worship leader at PTS (I know them) or an awesome theology professor at Fuller, but make sure you shop around for your particular cultural, career, and academic needs.

Things I Loved

The residential experience. Nearly all students at PTS live in beautiful on-campus housing or in apartments specialized for families with children just a few miles away. Living a few minutes walk from the library, my professors’ offices, and the chapel was amazing, especially since students at PTS tend to be sociable with the others who live on their hall. I would often spend my evenings studying with friends in their dorm rooms, and since everyone on campus at any given time tends to eat their meals in the cafeteria together, I formed a strong clique of ten or so people who unpacked my readings + spiritual crises with me at the lunch table.

Spiritual friendships. I was able to make deeper friends than ever before in my life from a variety of denominational and theological backgrounds. We saw each other through vocational shifts, prayed with each other, administered the Eucharist to each other, celebrated birthdays and ordinations together, and stayed up late into the night when anyone needed us. I would literally drive across the country to bail any of them out of jail at a moment’s notice.

The emotional crucible. Seminary is bootcamp for the soul. You get exposed to so many new ideas and theologies, learn how to preach, sit at people’s bedside while they’re sick, pull together responses for every new act of violence in the news, and most of the time, are thrust into a leadership role at a church that is either going under and begging you to save them or so large and thriving that it nearly swallows you whole. Nothing will grow you up like that. I have an insane amount of poise now dealing with other people’s crises, rage, or grief, and that wasn’t the case when I matriculated. Pastors are all making it up as we go along, but seminary gives at least the appearance of sage wisdom under pressure.

Academic engagement with theology. This one seems obvious, but after spending four years in a secular liberal arts university that was tolerant of my enduring interest in religion but didn’t offer me an outlet for it, seminary was balm in Gilead. I loved being able to dig into what I really cared about directly, be that metaphysics, church history, or the Bible as literature, and I thrived being surrounded by other people who cared about it and did the reading and wanted to explore together.

Freedom to research what I wanted. There are plenty of demanding intro-level courses that throw you to the ground and kick you while you cry into your notecards (New Testament, what’s good) but it was fun being on that ride with the rest of your small cohort, and upper-level classes offered chances to research what you cared about. I got to present research on astrology in the book of Daniel, queer American Muslim communities, IVF treatments and theology in Ghana, overlap in myths about Odin and Jesus, and I did an independent research study linking the emergent church to the spike in Millennials re-discovering the Episcopal and Catholic churches.The library was stuffed to the brim with books I would kill for. What a treat.

The melting pot. PTS DEFINITELY has its ideological and admissions biases but they do work hard to create a diverse student body, and I was close with students from so many different counties, denominations, ethnicities, and political leanings, which was enriching beyond belief. It was one of the big reasons I chose a seminary degree. That said, not all schools skew diverse, and I was very specific about choosing a seminary that was explicitly affirming of women in ministry and the goodness and wholeness of LGBTQ+ folks, so I knew that I would be supported by general school policies. Getting that information up front is important.

Access to university resources. This one is PTS specific, but I went to a independent seminary closely linked to and basically on the same campus as Princeton University (they were the same school back in the 1800s until an amicable split, but we’re still cozy). This meant that I had access to Princeton U libraries, free events, lectures, and religious life, and I was a member of the Episcopal Church at Princeton U for most of my time at seminary. People bribe admissions officials or work themselves to nervous breakdown to get access to the resources I had at my fingertips, and I don’t take that for granted.

The aesthetic. If I’m gong to take tens of thousands dollars of loans out for graduate school you bet you’re ass I’m going to be sitting in American Hogwarts while I do it.

Things I Did Not

The cliquishness. This one is a double-edged sword, because I thrived on having a clique of high-functioning. highly-educated pastors who ate at the same lunch table and gossiped about the same people and showed up to campus parties in a gang, but that’s not always healthy. People tended to fragment off by denomination or where they fall on the liberal-conservative scale, and differences can fester that way. Students of color were often implicitly excluded from certain spaces through this behavior. Humans skew towards tribalism to begin with, but when you put super socially-oriented people with strong beliefs in one space where they have to live on top of each other and are looking for low-effort socializing after a long day in the trauma ward, confessional, or picket line, it gets worse.

Imposter syndrome. Maybe it’s grad school in general that does this, but I spent most of my degree fighting off the feeling that I was dumb, lazy, not serious enough about my “calling” or my research, and probably a heretic. Part of my character growth came from learning not to give a fuck about what people who didn’t share my passions thought of them, and from realizing that I wasn’t on the ordination or PhD track like most of my peers, and that was okay. So I grew from this, but it stung like hell. I cried a lot.

No handholding. The professors at PTS were, by and large, old school, and they were busy as hell. While there was opportunities for office hours, most engagement with professors came in the performative form of “a question, well, more of a comment really” during lectures. Students, (mostly men, I’m not going to lie to you) scrambling for a good letter of rec for a PhD tended to monopolize whatever time professors had. I can think of exceptions (Ellen Charry was exceptional and made time for me in her home when I was struggling to unpack antisemitic theology) but it was a far cry from the literature department in my undergrad, where professors were accessible and knew me personally as mentors and friends.

Caregiver burnout. This is my big one, and is the reason I’m still in recoup mode doing the office job thing instead of working in formal ministry. Everyone at my school was a pastor, hospital chaplain, activist, or social worker. We are the people who care so much, and who are constantly doing emotional labor for those around us with no time off and usually, poor personal boundaries. Working in a field where it is your job to hold everyone’s hurt and be the face of God to them while their life falls apart is….hard. It was not unusual for me to work ten hours at Penn on my feet in campus ministry, helping people sort through whether or not they wanted to report their sexual assault, holding mini-interventions about excessive drinking, and scrambling to re-schedule worship night after my volunteer went to the hospital after a suicide attempt, and then ride the train home while my phone blew up with news of a new mass shooting that I would have to help host a candlelight vigil for. You hold your parishioner’s hand while they die in hospice. You watch social services take your client’s children away. You stand still while someone screams at you for being too political in your sermon, or not political enough. You sit down to do the budget only to realize the beloved pastor who just retired had been embezzling. Typical Tuesday.

A lot of the items on these lists are specific to my temperament and the culture at PTS, but by and large I would say it was an amazing experience well worth my time, effort, and money. I pushed myself academically beyond what I believed I was capable of, made the deepest friends of my life, found a home denomination, learned how to effectively care for others and myself, and was met by God in transformative ways again and again. Someday I may get that ordination or work for a ministry nonprofit again, but I have skills now that no one can take away from me, skills I use every day in some capacity.

Good luck in your discernment process, and I pray you find yourself in exactly the place you need to be!

#people of the page #princeton theological seminary #princeton seminary #seminary #grad school #studyblr #gradblr #theology

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