#even just seeing the number is insane ngl

[franeridart]

The Housecat Philosophy - Ep 30

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[david-watts]

you can tell I've gotten so much worse lately because of how I react to a number changing

[neuvistar]

ASS, TITS OR THIGHS?

— featuring ┊satoru gojo, toji fushiguro, suguru geto, kento nanami, choso kamo x fem!reader (all separate)

— warnings / content warnings ┊suggestive obvi, not proofread oops, cunnilingus, uhm uhm use of nicknames, riding, mentions of titfucking, overall suggestive content | 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

— a/n ┊jujutsu kaisen hyperfixation got the best of me guys i betrayed u all and accidentally became a gojo + sukuna liker i’m sorry. apology coming soon /j 😔

𖦹 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

let’s be real here.. i know damn well this guy is definitely a tit man. cmon it’s just this feeling in me that can sense this guy’s love for titties, he’s the number one tit lover guys im telling you! i bet gojo is def the type to stand behind you and tower over you) at random times and slowly slip his large hands into your shirt, squeezing your tits like it’s the most casual thing for him! of course you wouldn’t mind.. so you would just carry on with whatever you were doing. up until he nuzzles against your nape, inhaling your scent as his fingers tug and pinch at your sensitive nipples, smirking against your skin when he hears you whimper at his touch. this guy makes your head spin sometimes it’s actually insane. “ooh. they’re soft.” “that’s how they’re supposed to be, dumbass” ngl i feel like gojo would love your tits for the dumbest reason ever, like since he’s rlly rlly tall i feel like he would like your tits all because “they’re easier to reach” LMFAO he’s so silly! this guy probably love’s embarrassing you sometimes cuz he would grab your tits literally ANYWHERE (if ur fine w it ofc) in conclusion.. he loves seeing you all embarrassed whenever he brings a hand to cup your tits in his hand!

gojo here loves stuffing his face in your tits, he doesn’t care.. it’s the ocean he wants to dive into 2nite lol! anyways sometimes during sweet little cuddle sessions he would straight up pull you up by your hips and press himself closer against your body before leaning down to drown his face in the softness your tits, cmon.. can you blame him? but anyways! gojo loves your titties regardless.. big or small, small or big, he’ll still be willing to shove his face in ‘em! he definitely has a thing for titfucking, you just.. look so hot laying there all sweet for him, squeezing your tits against his hard cock while he thrusts in between them, trying his best not to overdo it. “f—fuck.. they’re so soft.. so perfect. no one has ever fucked your tits like this like i have right, angel? mhm? look at them.. s’pretty and all mine.” he pinched your nipples rather harshly, forcing a whine to leave your pretty lips. “all mine, yeah?”

𖦹 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

look me in the eyes and tell me toji fushiguro doesn’t look like the ultimate ass man ever, cmon tell me! are we really surprised tho? are we REALLY surprised? he looks like the biggest ass man known to mankind it’s not even funny at this point he loves ass he mfing does i tell you. this old hag probably steals a few glances at your ass from time to time whenever you wear a skirt.. or a dress for special occasions, toji cant control himself bro it’s not his fault you had allat back there.. it’s not his fault for looking it was an accident! (no it was not and you knew it) ngl the first time he caught a glimpse of your ass he probably said “damn.” so loudly, loud and clear for you to hear. “damn.” you heard a familiar voice behind you, glancing over your shoulder to see your boyfriend’s intense gaze at your bottom. “i knew your ass was nice but i didn’t know it was this nice.. damnn.” “oh shut up, will you?” idk abt u guys but toji is probably the type to slap it while you walk past him sometimes.. like it’s so unexpected you just straight up flinch and glare up at him, rubbing it to try and ease the pain bc i bet his slaps HURT sometimes

toji 100% a fan of you taking it from the back.. he loves it! i mean do i need to explain further? though he loves seeing your facial expressions to see just how well he fucks you but i feel like he prefers to see your ass and well-defined back. you have this man in a TRANCE. no matter how hard he tries to focus on you, his eyes always manage to wander down to your rear. he loves pounding into you mercilessly like there’s no tomorrow just to see the jiggle physics of yo ass because gahhh dayummmm he loves the way it moves, my guy probably spanks too i’m telling u this dude loves ass, especially yours.. it’s an unhealthy obsession at this point idk what to tell u 🤷‍♀️

𖦹 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

suguru def a thigh man, i don’t even know my reasoning but he just screams thigh man.. like he seems like the type to love them ykwim? like he just loves diving into them any time he gets, holding your thighs against his hands while he pushes them to your chest. he def loves eating you out just so he can feel your thighs caging around his head, he loves how soft they are, how warm they feel whenever he gives them a little squeeze. personally i bet this fucker is probably a lil crazy about your thighs, just a little bit! whenever you sit on his face, he pushes you even more against his mouth. his tongue is talented that’s all i have to say, suguru doesn’t give two fucks if he can’t breath against your overstimulated pussy, he wants you to crush him with your pretty thighs thighs.. he wants your thighs to be the last thing he feels + sees before he suffocates and dies a happy man! suguru would keep you spread on his face, not caring about anything else in the world but you and your plushy thighs around his head. buddy probably eats you out like it’s his last, squeezing and helping your thighs trap his face in between them. god, he loves your thighs

suguru wrapped his lips around your pussy again, forcefully pulling you even closer until his nose was bumping against your clit, was that even possible? “s—su.. suguru!” one orgasm, then the next.. and the next after that, he hasn’t even came up for air.. you were worried at how much your thighs caged around his head, worrying about suffocating further. you tried pulling yourself up, looking down at him as your lips quivered. “suguru you okay?—“ no. he was most definitely not! he was struggling 2 breath but he didn’t give TWO FUCKS!! “your thighs.. feel so warm around me. sit back down, princess. i’m not done.. ‘wanna feel your pretty thighs against me again.” “.. but are you sure? you were struggling to breathe i could feel it—“ “sit, princess. i said sit. do i need to repeat myself?” no siiiirrr 🙅‍♀️

𖦹 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈

ngl out of everyone here nanami is the most “normal” and tamed if this question ever comes along, my guy would probably answer with something like “they’re just body parts. is there even a reason to pay attention to female assets?” uhm. no obviously not but they’re hot ++ the question is important smartass. tbh i feel like nanami wouldn’t really care, he just.. appreciates you for being there by his side, he wouldn’t really care much about your body and what he likes about it, cuz babe he loves everything about you! such a sweetheart! but in all seriousness, i feel like he’d really be into your tits for some reason.. i mean come on! sometimes if he’s feeling a lil extra EXTRA bold be would sneak a few glances towards your cleavage, swallowing the lump in his throat as he notices you didn’t have a bra on that day. nanami would literally fight for his life and try his best to restrain himself n his desires every single time he would see you in any outfit that shows your cleavage.

i bet there was this one time you guys were about to cook together n you needed help with the apron so he helped you tie it, but then his hand accidentally brushed against your breast LMFAO. poor guy would realize slowly after and start contemplating his whole life and life decisions, apologizing to you sincerely and that he didn’t mean to do that! “kento seriously it’s fine, i don’t mind! if you wanted to touch them, you could’ve said so.” “i told you it was an accident, love. it’s not like that at all.” you chuckled at him before grabbing his hand and slowly bringing it close to your tits, making him touch em as the soft skin of your tits melt into his palm. “soft right?” you cooed, wincing a little when you felt his thumb brushing against your hardened nipple. “..mm.” cmon kento ⁉️ don’t be in denial! accept yourself as a certified tittie liker!

𖦹 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

tbh this guy could love all three of these, like there is not a single part of you he loves more than the other but if he really had to choose.. he would probably be fond of your ass, making him a semi ass man despite him.. probably liking all three! but then again.. lemme just say.. i know an ass/tit man when i see one (n he looks like one but my pick for today is ass) poor choso probably caught himself looking at your ass for a whole minute and he had to slap himself for a second to get himself back to reality, he can’t help it! your body is so hypnotic to him. i bet he’s also the type to give your bottom little taps and pokes whenever he needs something from you (damn) ++ my guy is probably a fan of you taking it from the back also, just like toji! listen listen okay. listen. reverse cowgirl position. lemme tell u he gets SOOO flustered whenever you ride him with your back turned against him, bouncing yourself on his cock while he can’t help but look down at your ass and how much it moved (lolz!) and how well your cunt was sucking him in! choso probably the type to bring a hand up to pull your hair, running his fingers through your hair as he tugs your back to him with your back arched, planting soft chaste kisses on your neck

choso doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable in anyway so he absolutely refuses to even plant a lil smack to your ass, even just a soft one! he would hold himself back n wouldn’t do it unless you wanted him too! if you do.. expect a lot of them coming your way because i bet he loves seeing your ass jiggle LIKEEE ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY NO MORE i bet his cock would twitch inside you every single fucking time he would see the jiggle physics of your ass! like i said.. he’s a fan of you taking it from the back! jiggle physics go absolutely craaaaazy 😝🙏

[catboygretzky]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

1/?

👑 girlbossriko follow

how many bro jobs do you think it took before riko moriyama and kevin day realized that uh.....maybe this wasn't just a bro thing

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

how many times do they have to come out and say they're like brothers before you freakos stop shipping them

👑 girlbossriko follow

????? do i know u

#it's a tumblr post about two exy players that you'lll never meet in your life it really isn't that deep

558 notes

💃fox-me-up follow

ngl that newest fox is kinda 👀

#psu lb #exy lb

8 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

The NARRATIVE that kevin day and neil josten have........son of exy! scouting the rookie-est of rookies from fuck knows arizona........no listen you dont GET IT winning is EVERYTHING TO KEVIN and he would risk it on the foxes? And NEIL? who has only played exy for a year! NEIL Gets his attention!!!!! And hes good and he's getting better every game and he keeps bitching about kevin's ex on live tv BUT WAIT!???? NOT QUITE WHAT YOU EXPECT! Bc then neil shows up with a number on his cheek BECAUSE WELL it turns out they've known each other since they were KIDS! how is everyone not insane w me THEY'RE LITERALLY PERFECT

#where r my fellow njkd truthers #how r u all not here with me this isnt even the start #kevneil #210 #psu #njkd

102 notes

☀️ usctrojanny

every smiley blonde striker (jeremy knox) needs a brunette wet cat emotional support backliner (jean moreau)

#jerejean #usc trojans #i'm just saying 🤷‍♀️

58 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

did he just......

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

guys please tell me i'm not insane

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

HE'S NEVER BEEN????? SKIIING???? KEVIN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?????? KEVIN PLEASE

#i i'm going insane i will literally die if someone doesn't explain this to me HE'S NEVER BEEN SKIING?!!!!

407 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

oh....i'm feeling so weak......it'd sure be nice to have a big strong goalie (renee walker) hold me up (renee if you're free on tuesday i am also free on tuesday.........on tuesday this tuesday, any tuesday?)

#literally passing out just thinking about her holding me don't call don't text i'm busy

84 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

do u think if u offered kevin day essential oils to heal his hand he'd beat you to death

#it'd be hard for him bc he only has one hand but he could probably do it #legally this is a joke don't do this

284 notes

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

feeling normal

215 notes

📜 realexyblog

actually exy rpf is fine, i asked kayleigh day herself and she told me it was fine

112 notes

🐋 sexyexy

'exy is a stupid name for a sport' have you considered that a) i don't care and b) it's named that solely so i can make sex jokes about it

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

is he, ya know *mimes jerking off* an ncaa exy player

#i don't believe that straight exy players exist

56 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard!!!!!!! 🥰🥰 short king!!!!🤏🤏😋😋 Awwwwwwww the scrunkly!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗 My boinky boy!!!!!🥺🥺 Crinkly doo,,,,shronkle scrimblo......🥺🥺🥺 rb if you'd scrunkle!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

📖 sapphic-exy follow

he literally killed someone

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#also no proof he did that #yeah there's proof his twin bro killed someone but that's not the same bc theyre different people #almost killing someone doesnt count

807 notes

🐦‍⬛ edgarallenexy

got told i'm problematic for liking the ravens? THAT'S LITERALLY MY SCHOOL OH MY GOD

2 notes

🌸 softexy

Kevin Day - A Study

#kevin day #psu foxes #palmetto foxes #exy #web weave #poetry #psu foxes #palmetto #edgar allen

378 notes

[etheries1015]

I was thinking- what if Vil does one of those celebrity documentaries when he's older? He's settled down with you, you have kids, his career is still going good. He'll talk about when you guys decided to settle down and have kids (the home video clips of him loving his kids 🥲). They'll sit you down and you just radiate loving housewife energy and someone will sneakily catch on camera Vil looking at you so softly while you're recording your part. Him admitting his problems with Neige (and the team interviewed him too but he still has no idea about Vil's true feelings), how he always wanted a role outside of being a villain. Rook having his own interviews being his usual self but also suddenly showing up in your home during filming. Epel wanting to get in on it to kinda reveal the bs Vil made him put up with (and Vil just chuckles cause he still knows he was right) and to promote the farm. And then Vil mentions how he owes Malleus favors (does he reveal he overblotted?). Cue the screen suddenly showing Malleus sitting comfortably in a chair and smiling smugly. And then you notice he's in your home. And he's just like, "Oh, yes. I did Schonheit some favors back then." And it shows some backstage footage of the film crew wondering if they should even try and contact THE Malleus Dragonia to get an interview, and if they do if they actually have the guts to. But before they can decide you pull up, "Oh? You wanna talk to Mal? Let me ask him!" And you just speed dial him and ask and once you hang up he's magically poofed into your home for the interview. He doesn't mind talking about Vil and you but also sneaks in some gargoyle stuff. There's also extra footage of your still young kids hearing Mal is here and running up to him, "Uncle Mal~!!" And you, Vil, Mal, and the kids having a small tea break.

Oh man, what're you doing dropping this beautiful piece in my inbox when you should post it on your page and get the attention it deserves?? Because this is ADORABLE and AMAZING! All the ideas you threw out in here were so cute, Vil finally having the confidence to talk about you and his family, his carreer as a total...plus that Malleus blurb LMFAOOOO, When you're asked what person in your school years affected you most other than Vil or what friends you had that were most prominent, you say "Oh, Malleus Draconia! I think he's king of brair valley right now, though."

Everyone just stares at you in shock, but Vil kinda like "You have his number, right? Call him over." (He did it for the drama...he thought it would be funny for the documentary, and he was right. It became the most replayed part of the entire section.)

AND YOUR KIDS WITH VIL TALKING AND HANGING OUT WITH MALLEUS LIKE OL' CHUMS IS SO ADORABLE. When Malleus comes over, he always has some sort of riches or treasures for your children. He's constantly playing with them. He's your go-to baby sitter and he LOVES it. You being best friends with Malleus while married with Vil HAS to be my favorite thing about ALL OF THIS. It's so adorable i'm sobbing crying shaking throwing up.

The home clips...oh my gosh i'm so soft. YES!! Imagine when the documentary gets released, so many people point out places that they noticed Rook was in the background in the videos when you didn't see them before. It was insane, an entire conspiracy theory trend came out of it.

I like to think you have home videos of VIL being the housewife, cooking in his "Kiss the queen" Apron while holding one of your children on his side and using a spatula to flip the pancakes with the other. He had no idea you released this to the director, it came a shock to him when there was a section of the documentary dedicated to how you felt being married and having kids with one of the worlds biggest stars. He probably cried a little about it, ngl.

PLEASE I IMPLORE YOU reveal yourself!! Or post this!! Because it's such a cute idea and I think you truly deserve the rightful attention! But thank you for sharing, this was such a fun read and I enjoyed exploring / expanding more on it heuheuheu.

[moncharrow]

water polo player! abby

a/n: hey!! i know i said id be posting for ellie first but this thought hasn't left me for a month. i love the though of this oh my god i am feral. thanks for reading! rb or comment to support a lil fic author :) also i'm gonna be referring to water polo as a super gay sport and that's because it is xoxo i mean high contact with buff women. like.

-content/warnings: 1.4k, mentions of contact sport violence, smut scenes (strap, riding abby, nickname 'beautiful', semipublic sex in a locker room, fingering, oral (both receiving), gn reader but has a pussy, mentions of roughhousing in water/ drowning (not really drowning but yk)

men dni.

water polo is one of the most intense sports- it's high contact, rough, with a high probability of being punched, getting a black eye, etc

but when you're as buff as ms abby anderson here, it's not as big of a deal

there aren't really many set positions in wp, but the most important one is center- placed front-and-center of the goal, they're the person everyone looks to to get a good shot

center has to be dependable, strong, and fast

abby is perfect! her drive is amazing (ahem ahem) and she's constantly swimming like crazy to get into position so her team can rely on her

she started in high school, learning the ropes and getting to know the sport

got crazy good, and was definitely a very proud varsity athlete. she knows she's good, so why shouldn't she flaunt a bit?

im gonna be honest she absolutely wore her varsity jacket for way too long during freshman year in college

she joined her collegiate team (possibly on a small grant/scholarship) and met the most amazing team

it's hard to be queer in sports a lot of the time, but her entire team is queer/allied!! she has a space to be herself which she really appreciates

she blossoms on that team

every girl at her college absolutely drops their panties for her im not even kidding. its not even that fun to her because she just wants someone to love, not just a hookup

((that doesn't mean she rejects them all though))

the pretty center draws crowds to the natatorium

and that includes you, of course

you're a friend of the goalie and you're not all that into sports, but once you hear that the hot girl you've been thirsting over in org. chem is there?? it's all over, goodBYE

you are seated right in the action, front row of the bleachers, cheering in school colors, pretty eyes glimmering in the bright sun, sweat drops dripping down the front of your shirt

abby is fully focused on her game but when she's benched she gets a liiiiiittle distracted ngl

like i said though, she's mostly game face

but after a win? she feels like she's never lost. she's pure confidence and she decides to keep the streak going and see if she can successfully get your number

it's slightly awkward because when abby gets closer she sees that wow you are so much more attractive than she first thought when she had chlorine water in her eyes

so she just doesn't ask you out lolol she bails and bugs the goalie about you for the week leading up to the game, asking who you are, if you're coming next time, if you like this or that

her hands are so large and strong from gripping that ball... just imagine what they could be used for !

her thighs are absolutely massive- she has to stay above the water somehow, and the kicking she has to do has sculpted her into a thunder-thigh goddess

eating her out is insane because she fucking clamps down on your head with her thighs LMAO

broad shoulders that you can hold while riding her

strong shoulders that you grip and squeeze onto for dear life every night before a game as she plows into you for "good luck"

-the room is filled with the rhythmic slapping of her skin against your thighs as she grips your hips and bucks up into you.

"taking it so well for me, huh? my little good luck charm..." and you can't say anything. you just whine as you feel every muscle in her body working overtime to treat you just right

the veins in her forearms throb and pop out as she bounces you up and down, touching and squeezing and groping everywhere she can. she looks up at you cheekily, biting her lips and grinning. "there we go, beautiful, look 't you go"

"i'll be sore tomorrow" she says. it isn't a complaint. she says it's her favorite workout

yeah she says she's done but she's also finger fucking you in the locker room during half-time

-"sorry coach, i'll be quick, i promise!" abby lifts herself out of the pool with pure upper body strength, muscles tensing and water dripping off her like some kind of lesbian wet dream. when she promises haste, she means you'll be quick, because you know the drill. you're already amongst the rows of lockers as abby pushes you against them, sliding past your underwear and shoving her fingers in. her thumb is on your clit, middle and ring fingers finding your g-spot immediately and going at it relentlessly. "think you can do 5 minutes for me, beautiful?

-you can because she won't accept anything else. you're cumming all over her fingers, groaning at the overstimulation as she fucks you through it. when you're done, she pulls out, inserting her fingers into her mouth and cleaning them. you shoot her a playful dirty look as she jogs back out the locker room door

-"thanks for the pep talk, babe!" girl.

she wins every game and says it's because of you

it's sweet, but she's just that good of an athlete

but if you met her because you play too? oh get ready for a whole 'nother world

you're her defense during practice, in the trenches with her and jumping over her shoulders to make sure she doesn't get the ball

but she'll do petty shit to fluster you, like turning and kissing your shoulder and holding your hand in the middle of wrestling for position like ???

-"anderson!" the team captain reprimands. she gives a cheeky smile and puts her game face back on, pinching your thigh underwater where nobody can see

water polo players' love language is straight up drowning people. like the coach yells for everyone to meet him in the corner of the pool and instead she's fucking barrelling toward you, wanting to pull you under

when you're waiting to practice throwing the ball into the goal, she'll slide under the surface and tug at your ankles to pull you

when you come back up, she's giggling like a child and acting like it was another teammate

-"abby, i know it was you, you idiot!" you say, grinning

despite not really having jerseys like in other sports, abby will have you wear her team merch with logos

you wear last year's team shirt to bed, her flannel pants to class, her two-piece tops when you go to the beach with her

you go crazy for her when she's in her polo suit. they're tight so that players can't get grabbed, but it's tight in all the right places

it showcases abby's broad shoulders and slutty waist, curving around her chest and tastefully contouring her back muscles

thank god for this sport, you think

she always complains about how the suit rides up her butt, giving her a slight wedgie, but it gives you perfect access to her tight ass

smacksmacksmack

-"can you hold off for one minute, babe?"

-"no."

it's like there's no person attached to that ass. and she's just as obsessed with yours dw! she uses those big hands to grasp your entire cheek and land a harsh slap! on there that makes you jump. she just smiles n laughs

water polo! abby who takes you out to dinner after games and ends up stealing your food because "ohmygodbabeimsohungryyoudontevenunderstand"

it's like she's never eaten

speaking of eating... (im sorry)

she will throw your legs open when she eats you out. if you try to shut them she'll use the full force of her forearms to pin your thighs down and dig her face deeper in your pussy, sucking and licking like a woman starved

who wrote that. i didn't. anyways..

you put her hair up in a fishtail braid for her !! then she'll ask you to put her swim cap on and give you a cute smile when you screw it up

-"i fucked it up! sorry!"

-"babe it looks great" while she's tucking all her shorter hairs into the bottom of it

if her team is winning by a lot, she'll mess around a bit and point at you after she scores a goal, and you roll your eyes and your face feels hot because she's so ridiculous

but you do feel a lil special.

anyways water polo abby mi amor :3333 take me in the locker room

[coffee-430]

May I request Number 3 for Zhongli? It’s just made for him ngl

—100 Followers Event!

No. 3: "Would you prefer to have these chains in gold?" With Yandere Zhongli

Character: Zhongli

Warnings: yandere themes, non-consensual touching, obsessive behaviour, mentions of blood, vague mention of rape

Note: Lemme pretend I just didn't disappear for like a year (?). Anyway, hope this was to your liking!

You've come this far.

No way in fucking hell are you even thinking of going back.

Cuts and blood stained your skin, as your clothes were ripped and torn as you ran through the thick and dark forest of Teyvat. Climbing high ass mountains was definitely a death sentence, so you opted to run through a much less rocky path for your life.

You supposed being hurt by sharp branches and twigs was better than climbing very tall rocks.

Speaking of rocks, you were running away from the man you once thought was the love of your life.

The Geo Archon, he revealed, was insane to the bone and you never would've guessed that. You consider yourself fortunate that you happened to find out all that was happening to you.

Friends and family whom you've cherished ever so dearly, came back with news of them dying horrible deaths— the look and stares of people whenever you pass by was something you did not fail to not notice.

And that just so happens you connected all dots to him, and when you had confronted him about it— he began singing his 'undying love' for you. Claiming he was simply doing what he thinks is best for you.

Of course, you scoffed at that and mentioned breaking up with him. Just imagine the face he made when you made such a declaration.

And thus why, you were on the run.

Running for your life— and quite literally at that.

"Argh—!"

You yelped, tripping on a large root. The jagger ground didn't soothe your fall as you hissed in pain. But you wasted no more time and began to pick yourself back up.

Every stride taken, you pushed yourself harder, determination fueling your movements. The forest seemed to stretch endlessly before you, a daunting maze of shadows and whispers. You knew you had to keep going, had to find a way out before he could catch up to you.

Moonlight filtered through the foliage, revealing tears streaming down your face. Fear fueled your escape, and determination drove you deeper into the heart of the forest.

Zhongli's voice then echoed behind you.

He was faster and getting closer than you thought.

His voice was a haunting melody of anguish and rage. Shadows danced on the trees as he pursued you relentlessly, his footsteps gaining ground. And panic surged through you as you realized the gravity of your situation.

With every step, the forest felt like it was closing in around you, a labyrinth of uncertainty. The thicket became denser, almost slowing you down, but you pressed on, driven by a desperate need for freedom. The night air was thick with tension, and your senses heightened with each passing moment.

Suddenly, a break in the foliage revealed a small clearing bathed in moonlight. Your heart soared with hope, sprinting towards it, the air thick with anticipation. You stumbled out into the open space, chest heaving as your eyes scanned the surroundings for any sign of danger.

Just as you began to relax, a shadow loomed from behind, and you were horrified to see the very God you sought to escape, emerging from the darkness, his amber coloured eyes were wild with obsession.

"To even think of escaping my clutches was such a foolish thought, my dear."

His tone had a hint of growl in it, as if he was disappointed and annoyed at your pathetic attempt.

And before you even think, Zhongli got you cornered.

His godly power showed you just how powerful he was, and a mere human like you didn't stand a chance against an Archon like him.

His eyes glinted with a disturbing mix of desperation and obsession. "You can't escape from me, (Y/n)," he hissed, his hand found itself around your wrist and his grip on your trembling arm was tight.

Your heart pounded inside your chest as you tried to back away, mind racing for a way out. But there was no escape this time. His sheer strength alone was not to deter you hopelessly. You could tell he was holding back, for if he wasn't— he would have already broken a bone.

With no other choice, you were forcibly led back through the forest, each step echoing the surrender of your freedom.

Forced to be dragged back to your little home, your tear stained face looked blankly at the window as you watched the pitter patters of the rain.

No amount of yelling or begging could bring the Geo Archon to his senses, all words spoke of sheer pleading and request for freedom were all met with a kiss added with an embrace so suffocating you couldn't walk for a week, and the sharp threat of killing innocent people if you ever dared to leave him again.

You've come to accept your fate by now.

You couldn't risk having innocent lives die a pointless death just because you wanted to be free. The thought of it— freedom— and their deaths was what you deemed not worth it.

You hate it. You hate how you value the stakes of others instead of yours.

The doors to your pris— room— opened, and in he came. Followed by the sounds of metal clacking as he approached.

The brunette smiles at you, taking in all of your beauty and figure.

"You look wonderful tonight, my love." He complimented, taking a strand of your hair before he placed a kiss on it. "And you've been behaving well, too."

Chuckled the Archon, kneeling down in front of you— in his hands he presents two long metal chains with metal cuffs at both of its ends.

"It's a present."

The man announced, a gloved hand of his traced the length of your bare leg. And you swore you could have heard him sigh a small bliss.

He set down the chains and lifted your leg up, gently kissing your barefoot. In his eyes, he was not the divine being in this room, but you.

His actions made it clear that he worships you like a loyal devotee of a God.

"You've been so good." He whispered, using one hand to pick up the chains he set down. "As a reward, I shall make you choose."

"Would you prefer to have these chains in gold?"

Zhongli looked up at you like a man who found no error in the words he spoke. And then you, a person who can't find to fight back any longer, simply answered back:

"Would gold suit me?"

Amber eyes glinted and a grin was evident on his face. "In your case, my dear, you would look beautiful in anything."

As if you were Cinderella, he slips on the metal chains around your ankles with just the right amount of tightness— fitting you like a glove.

And as the storm lengthened outside, you knew that your nightmare was far from over. Trapped once again in the clutches of an obsessive lover, that you could only pray for a miracle to set you free.

[crimsonxe]

I'm absolutely going to be rewatching v9 cause of it being now on the RT site and me wanting to put whatever extra numbers to it there as I can; but had to skip first to the bonus episode cause ofc I did.

Spoilers below the cut

Love Eddy saying that some of the footage will show up in v10, like ofc I don't know when this was recorded but it reinforces that they're still fighting to keep the show going

Love that the bonus goes across multiple pov's not just one or two

Anyone having doubts on if CFVY would show up, can now rest easy cause they definitely do along with at least Sun & Neptune

Neon confirmed alive o.o

I wish I could pop into the universe to tell Nora her scars are badass >.< I hate the idea of her seeing them as a disfigurement and hope that Ren is pushing her that direction too.

So even Oz has no clue about the Ever After and likely that the Brothers aren't actual the true deities of the overall omniverse. Not to mention getting the impression that he's about as knowing about what the Relics do as everyone else is. Which shoots down many b.s. notions of what he could do to stop Salem. I'd even have doubts on him knowing how the Vaults work.

So the issues between Atlas and Vacuo definitely would be in place (likely including faunus), but on top of that Ozcar fighting the merge.

Ren respecting Jaune and looking up to him even is definitely nice given the backdrop of his words back in v8. Not to mention them doing more showing of his semblance.

Weirdly like the awkwardness between Renora, because of the realness of what they're navigating and that it was something that the writers plan to explore.

Mercury and Tyrian stirring up shit w/ Tyrian being batshit insane as per usual and Mercury being clearly out of his comfort zone

Confirmation that all of SSSN are planned to be in Vacuo, which means there could be Nolan/Scarlet scenes

Seriously Port and Oobleck are like unofficial husbands at this point, wherever one is the other is usually around too xD

My OTP for Willow is Klein, ngl I could support Qrow and her too (especially since ages would be fine), but that look when Klein arrives in the shuttle really sends me back to Willow/Klein xD

God the ["What? How?" -Ruby looking at the flying armada "You sent a message and the world answered." -Qrow] will always hit me in the feels and get watery eyes. Part of that being Jason's performance and only he could do that with his more emotional voicing for Qrow.

Also just want to highlight this, with the black outline cause BB not being subtle at all:

[akookminsupporter]

Hi Rosie! Jimin and Jungkook continuously get insane numbers as soloists and break records together even now that they're in the military. They enlisted together and are always the ones mentioned one after the other or are next together in the charts. When they said your are me, I am you, they took it too seriously.

They match each other wherever they are. It's kinda crazy ngl. Even them seemingly seeing each other as equals and not just the usual hyung-dongsaeng relationship. Having these two as biases keeps you busy. I'm happy that in real life, outside the vileness of social media, I know they are genuinely loved.

Side note, I really wish people would just enjoy AYS as it is. I don't understand how some seem so ungrateful and want more or are frustrated they're not getting what they want from it. We should be grateful that we even have this gifted by them. Imagine having no lives together for the past 2 to 3 years, and then not appreciating almost 8 freaking hours of content?? Sheesh.

OPINIONS.

[f0point5]

I LOVE your opinions about the drivers, especially Lando. They are just so refreshing and almost “opinion clearing” in the way you resonate fact with opinion. I struggle with bringing up my own opinions about Lando due to his fan base, but I 100% agree that Oscar has the potential to, and most likely will become McLarens number 1 driver. I find that Lando tends to crumble under the pressure and it shows when he races because he can only really push himself to 2nd position against heavy hitters like Max or Carlos, and then seems to wilt away and either stay in 2nd without challenging or fall back to 3-5th, while Oscar capitalises. I also find that Lando is the only driver I have seen to publically degrade his team-mates feelings/experiences and I expect that to amp up if Oscar continues to pressure him. As much as I hope it doesn’t happen, 2024 maybe the year that Lando’s dislike towards Oscars success becomes increasingly evident and we see more snarky comments directed at Oscar.

I like Lando, on the whole, he’s fast, but he is a bottler. Of any of the front runners he’s the one you want on the front row with your fave because without fail, he will panic and lose the lead. It’s not an if, it’s a when. It’s often the same with qualifying, which is why I take such issue with “it should have been pole”, because quite frankly it was never going to be pole. He has the raw pace but he chokes at critical moments. I like to think he will get over this but at the same time I think it will be a constant feature of his career (not that he will always choke, but that he will always have a mistake in him, and it will come out from time to time.

Whereas Oscar has yet to mess up in a critical moment and that is insanely impressive in his rookie season, where he’s running up with the big dogs. Ngl I think Lando would have lost that sprint in Qatar, but Oscar was leading a Red Bull and he kept his calm. He has tyre management issues but that’s experience, not pressure. He’s handled the pressure incredibly, and I think next season, watch out.

Sadly, I think this will knock Lando’s confidence even more. He does get competitive with his teammates and isn’t always the smartest about not making that abundantly clear… I don’t think McLaren will looking as great of a pairing by the end of next year, much as I love them now.

[mikasas-biggestwhore]

Attack on Titan characters and their butts: Part 2 ‼️‼️‼️

Once again like before this was just a random conversation with my friend and I just thought the world needed to know our thoughts! Side note: Merry Christmas guys <3

Characters: Levi, Erwin, Reiner, Annie and Bertholdt

This is probably the last part so y’all better enjoy 💜

Levi Ackerman

— Levi most definitely has a fatty from all that working out the scouts do. The thing is that his ass is very firm and there is no plush to it at all

— Like if you grabbed a handful it’s not leaking through you fingers. Your basically grabbing stiffened jello. (These descriptions keep getting weirder 😭)

— Sadly Levi does not have any jiggle. His booty is too firm for it to really have any movement at all.

— HOWEVER IF YOU SMACKED THAT SHIT??? GAHDAMN. THAT SHIT WOULD GIVE HELLA RECOIL

— See this all sounds good and dandy but there is a downside. While Levi has a very smackable ass his booty is shaped like a square :(

— So many men stay having square shaped booties and he’s a victim to this. Tsk tsk tsk

— He does know how to throw it back. He’s literally a Ackerman, of course he does. The only issue is you will never catch Levi shaking his ass sorry to disappoint you

— Ngl Levi is probably aware he has a fatty but it’s more of a inconvenience for him then anything. Like he’s got extra weight from the back of his body to worry about now.

— Side note: If you do try to slap his ass your gonna get your ass beat 🤕

Erwin Smith

— ERWIN TAKES NUMBER 1 FOR THE FATTEST BOOTY IN THE SERVEY CORPS ‼️

— Hear me out guys. Erwin’s butt is just hella fat, it’s plump, nice and rounded, AND DAMN DOES IT BOUNCE

— His ass gives a jiggle with every step he takes it’s actually insane. Like it’s practically a bouncy ball

— DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE RECOIL IF YOU SMACKED IT.

— There would be ripples like water and I mean ripples.

— Everyone is very aware that Erwin has a fatty except for Erwin himself. He’s not completely clueless but he just doesn’t think much about it yk

— “My butt is a lot bigger then everyone else. That’s odd” and then bro will move on with his day. Like it’s only a split thought he has had

— If you ever grabbed Erwin’s ass the fat would literally be leaking through your fingers. Good god

— I’m sorry y’all but even with all this ass Erwin definitely does not know how to shake it. I’m not even sure if he knows what throwing it back is-

— So this man is just walking around with a weapon basically. Erwin’s ass could take lives

— PUT YOUR HEARTS UP FOR DA ASS 🫡

Reiner Braun

— He’s not completely caked up like Erwin but he’s not flat. His ass is most definitely fat but in its own way

— Like Reiner has a very sculpted ass and it’s beautiful (making me tear up just thinking about it). It’s muscular and strong and big

— If you laid on it, it wouldn’t be pillow worthy but it would be a nice and a solid base for you to lay your head down on and have a good nap

— Like his ass is not soft at all but if you grabbed that shit. You would get the absolutely perfect hand full of his ass.

— It would absolutely amazing to squeeze BUT SLAPPING IT??? OH MY GOD.

— Because Reiner’s butt is so firm there isn’t any recoil but the sound it makes is absolutely delicious. Plus the feeling against your hand would have you die and rise to heaven

— Reiner has a very smackable ass. He’s the type of person where if he walks by your like “Damn I just wanna touch it”

— I would argue that Reiner has the best ass to smack out of the whole survey corps. LORD I WOULD LOVE TO SMACK HIS ASS

— Anyways Reiner doesn’t know how to throw it back but he makes up for it by putting himself in the most compromising positions and if there’s anyone near they go absolutely crazy.

— Reiner bent over to tie his shoe? WHAM! Reiner laying on his stomach some where? WHAM! Shit Reiner could just be standing minding his own business. WHAM!

— 10/10 would 100% recommend smacking Reiner’s ass

Annie Leonhart

— Annie does in fact have a fatty and it’s literally drop dead gorgeous. Like damn

— Her booty is nicely sculpted, it’s round, it’s hella fat, and it’s plush like a pillow. You could have yourself a nap on that thing

— Plus it jiggles. It jiggles.

— Shit be having recoil with every step she takes. She could kill a man with that bounce.

— The thing is her booty is small. Like it literally has all the qualities of a perfect booty it’s just not big enough to enjoy fully. So one person at a time (this is to the Annie fans)

—‼️‼️ITS ALL OKAY THOUGH BECAUSE WE APPRECIATE ALL BOOTY SIZES HERE ‼️‼️

— Truthfully Annie doesn’t know how to throw it back and she probably doesn’t fully know what it means

— However she won’t let anyone know that. She makes everyone believe she knows exactly what they are talking about

— Annie has such a remarkably smackable ass but sadly she’ll genuinely kill you and hide the body if anyone even laid a hand on her, especially her booty

—THIS IS A WARNING: Do not smack her ass if your wish to see another day and want the cops to be able to find your body.

— GUYS DONT TAKE MY WARNING LIGHTLY. IM OUT HERE TRYNA SAVE LIVES ✊🏽

Bertholdt Hoover

— Bertholdt is like on the very edge of fatty ground. Like brotha barely made it but he’s in there.

— He’s real close to nothing but bones but there is in fact fat there

— Like if you gave that thing a smack your hand is still gonna sting but the blow is slightly cushioned

— HOWEVER Bertholdt has a very odd shaped butt. It’s not rounded or inverted it’s just very square

— like I said before men already have usually square butts but his is on a whole nother level of being shaped like a square and it’s just boxy in general

— blud could put a cardboard box on his butt and it would just fit perfectly 💀

— Another thing is we all know Bertholdt is anxious most of the time and a habit he’s gained is clenching his buttcheeks from nerves-

— It’s not his fault. He just unconsciously does it and he’s done it so much it’s become an instinct at this point.

— He can’t help it guys :(

—Bertholdt most definitely does not even know what throwing it back is and doesn’t wanna find out

— He’s fine with living his life without ever trying to throw it back. If he did know he would probably be too shy to do it in front of people anyways

This is probably the last one of the butt posts I’m going to do because me and my friend didn’t really talk about any other characters

However if you wanna see what we believe a certain character from AOT’s butt looks like just put it in my requests

I’ll try my best to get to them all 🫡

Link to part 1

[lovelykil]

Hi!! I was wondering if I could request hcs for a volleyball player s/o with killua? (Feel free to ignore this if your not taking requests!^^)

also thank you for feeding the killua girlies 😭🫶

headcanons—

: ➛killua (older ver)

hc; volleyball player s/o

cw; none

note; ofcc munch munch

“I guess you looked.. pretty cool playing..”

let's just say this takes place in a school au 😛

he never paid attention to the girls volleyball team cause I mean he had no reason to, but when you two started dating he found out you played.

which was for the hunter high volleyball team

he may have sneaked into practice just to watch you

he actually thinks you look so cool playing for the games, BUT he won't ever tell you that he just says shit like

"you missed the ball like 2 times"

"you looked so dumb jumping like that"

the whole time you're just like

((￣へ￣井)

"ok fuck you"

lmao noo but he's a supportive bf, doesn't show it at least not like directly towards your face

like he'll be on the bleachers with your number on his shirt, watching your every move with a smile. And when you get earn points for the game he gives you a thumb up in the crowd with a proud smile.

ngl he drags gon to go to your games, wants his bestfriend to see how great his girlfriend is at volleyball. And the ravenette always company's him, cheering you on just as much as kil.. maybe a little more since I mean you know how killua is but 😭

there has been some moments where if you actually lost the game he tells you did good anyway, it was just your teammates who sucked. Then buys you icecream to cheer you up, or any favorite snack you wanted.

or if you did win he pats your head and praises you, he likes seeing your eyes light up whenever he does that.

omg he even sometimes during your games takes pictures of you and posts it on Instagram with a caption like

"at y/n's game, she kinda sucks lmao"

then like 3 minutes later will put

"nvm she's kinda good 😼"

all jokes aside he enjoys watching you play, finds it insanely attractive when you get so focused on trying to hit the ball and the sweat pouring down the sides of your face to show your determination.

[sai-lec]

My god people are so miserable in your tags, trying to find a problem everywhere . And btw haven’t you guys wondered that the vibe was maybe just a bit “off” because Carlos was just probably disappointed that he didn’t win that’s it, no need to insult or blame Charles when he did nothing. He won his race beautifully, so no need to be bitter. Some Carlos fans are being really annoying lately sorry

im ngl i dont even think the vibe was weird charles went to celebrate w whoever was collecting the constructors trophy i can’t remember and both of them gave carlos a spray before carlos went to spray max and they chatted before they left the podium like it wasn’t weird to me

but the main thing is people are always going to be like this in fandom . it’s a form of parasocialism in believing that we as viewers can understand the inner workings of our idols from ‘knowing them’ through the screen and coming to ‘recognise’ what we see as behavioural markers . happens all the time that’s why we end up with prominent shipping and rpf cultures in a lot of fanbases bc of our interpretation of how people interact with one another .

it can become obsessive for people, the majority of fandoms i’ve been in have been centred around real people and the subject of ‘truthing’ comes up a lot- the strict determination of a trait or personality of a person based on a second hand perspective of them, where the f in rpf is made redundant and people start to genuinely believe their headcanons of a person are applicable to their real life person . larry stylinson is knocking at the door .

because of parasocial and truthing behaviours peoples perception of drivers becomes tilted on what will best fit the subconscious narrative they are building- lando for instance i believe doesn’t deserve the mass hatred of mischaracterising as an awful person he’s been getting this season. nothing has changed between this season and the last except for the number of wins under his belt .

last year people felt the same hostility towards max . a few years ago it was lewis . its the relationship to our drivers as a competitor that’s changed . and those that pose a bigger threat receive the harsher penalties to their character .

it’s not an issue with carlos fans . it’s not an issue with lando fans or max fans or charles fans or anyone . it’s an issue of parasocialism that’s prevalent in every fandom for every character ever . we see it more for these drivers because they are top 5 drivers and they have larger fan bases . none of us are the big bad .

sometimes it feels like us vs them and i’ll tell you first i felt that way at the start of the season because genuinely i was being flooded with carlos hate in my asks and people posting the most insane negatively parasocial conspiracy theories about carlos having paid out the media to talk about him as if he didn’t just win a grand prix 2 weeks after surgery and be one of the most valuable drivers on the market for 2025 (i still get heated about that bc it was just plain disrespectful) . and yeah it did feel like it was carlos fans vs the lecfosi . because sometimes we let it be .

we build these insanely negative parasocial relationships with drivers and it consumes us. i’ve had to block ferrari fans for constantly posting carlos negativity and no doubt charles fans have had to block some carlos fans for constant driver negativity. lando fans will have gotten death threats over a race result even though that’s an insane thing to do and so have oscar fans .

everyone is annoying all the time we all annoy each other with our parasocial truthing of drivers personalities and the only way it’s actually going to change is if

1) we all take a step back to analyse our own behaviours and how we engage with negative parasocial behaviour

2) we stop making call out posts of ‘x drivers fans are so annoying’ because all it’s doing is reinforcing the narrative we want to build

[neteyamkink]

I read your Wattpad Series and I’m loving it so far and I was going crazy over chapter 8😫

Anyways this is my first time requesting something so I have no idea how this works or what to say😭but I’m wondering if you can make a nsfw alphabet of neteyam?

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE FEEDBACK!! and ofc i can do that for you <3 ALSO HELLO?? MY FIRST REQUEST IM SO EXCITED

i’m writing this half asleep at 3am and not proofreading plz ignore any mistakes LMFAO

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

neteyam would make sure you’re all cleaned up and everything before he lets you fall asleep. But after all of that, he’ll hold you and brush the hair out of your face and give you sweet kisses until you are asleep. <3

also lots of praise!! “You did so good for me”

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

like I’ve said NETEYAM IS A BOOB MAN!! he will focus on your boobs almost the whole time. licking sucking touching literally anything. he loves em and he holds them any chance he gets even out of a sexual context.

I think his favorite body part of his are his hands! He loves the way he can make you feel just with a finger or two. <3

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

he would only cum after you have and he definitely lovessss to cum on your boobs

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

when you aren’t there to satisfy him best believe he’s thinking of you. He probably can’t even count the number of times he’s been in his bed and night trying to fall asleep and one thought leads to another and suddenly he’s stroking his cock thinking about you and your pretty little lips (both of em)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

he has absolutely 0 experience so you guys kind of just figure out things together. however, he does somewhat know what he’s doing from overhearing the human scientist talk about sex.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

ima have to go with good ol missionary or just you riding him. he HAS to see your face. he just can’t go without it. he thinks the expressions that you make are so cute.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

it’s definitely a mix it depends on what the mood is tbh. If something funny happens he’ll laugh it out with you and he loves talking to you during sex. but if he’s “punishing” you or just going rougher than usual he’s more serious.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

correct me if I’m wrong I don’t think na’vi even grow body hair??? like they don’t even have armpit hair or like beards or mustaches so I’m going to say he has none

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

OH MY GODDD HE IS SUCH A LOVER BOY. like literally he will call it “making love” instead of sex or fucking. he is so in love so almost every time you guys have sex it’s so personal and so affectionate. he’ll whisper sweet things to you and kiss you as much as he can.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

like I said this boy is always horny for you so he will jack off just to the thought of you wayyy too much. he’s just so obsessed <3

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

ngl I feel like he is somewhat vanilla?? idk maybe my mind will change. but he definitely has a praise kink, he loves when you praise him and he loves praising you.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

usually in private places unless he’s in a lil silly goofy mood. even though it’s kind of boring he loves fucking you in your bed nothing can top it. The second best is definitely the beach for him <33

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

moans moans moans!!! he lovessssss hearing you moan like it turns him on so much it’s insane. He loves when you praise him and he definitely has a thing for seeing a lil bit of tears just because you’re so fucked out and happy you can’t control your emotions.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he would never hit you. even if you asked for it he just couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. he’s so sweet <3

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

he is insanely good at giving head. he loves giving more than reviving for sureee. he loves to hear you moan and watch you squirm it’s a hugeeee turn-on. He likes receiving too just a little less, he’ll never turn down head though. he loves the way your lips wrap around his cock, and the look you give him through your eyelashes as tears start to fill your water line. ugh he's in love

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

this one really depends on the mood but I’d say he’s a very passionate guy and loves to take his time and explore every inch of your body and savour every single second of pleasure

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

I think he would rather have proper sex so he can really take his time with you. HOWEVER!! if he is super needy and you guys are in a rush he will definitely do a lil quickie with you.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

if you ask him to do something he will gladly do it he is always welcome to try new things with you and will never make you uncomfortable by asking to try anything. When it comes to risky sex like people seeing you I don’t think he would like it a whole lot just because he doesn’t think anyone should see you in that sort of state but him and he just wants you all to himself <33

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

he will go for however long you want to. even if he is all fucked out but you still want to keep going he’ll sit back and let you ride him. He will never stop before you cum though like literally he will make sure you finish before him.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

if we’re talking about a modern au he would use toys on you if you wanted to. probably just a vibrator or something of that nature.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he lovessss teasing. he will egg you on alllllll day just so when the time is right he can fuck you dumb with all of that tension built up.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I feel like he’d be kind of embarrassed to moan at first, but when you tell him it’s okay and to let it out he’d completely let loose. he wouldn’t be very loud but he would definitely groan/moan in your ear and whisper a lot of sweet stuff to you <3

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

he lovessss talking to you during sex. like he will talk you through your whole climax. HE LOVES IT. and sometimes if you’re human he’ll throw in a little na’vi, and if you are a na’vi he’ll throw in a little English.

 X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

It’s definitely pale blue and I think his tip is a little bit darker. I’ll give him at LEAST 10 inches maybe 12 if I’m pushing it. The girth is pretty regular not too skinny or too thick. he fits in you perfectly <3

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I’d say it’s pretty high. he fucks you any chance he gets, and is always needy for you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As I said, he would wait for you to fall asleep before he does so it really just depends on how long it takes you to fall asleep. If you don’t fall asleep he’ll ask you if you’re okay with him sleeping. Of course, you say yes every time but he doesn’t want you to feel alone <3

[yourthirdparent]

OH MY GOD okay so a beloved follower of mine sent me an ask about my tristan mclean headcanons like in december but i accidentally deleted !!!!!!! the fuckcing ask !!!!!!!!!!!!!! so i'm making it a post. hope you don't mind. also sorry for the wait

most of my thoughts are things i can not share on this blog (this is the Normal blog for Normal things and not the fucked up torture i subject this man to on a regular basis. tbf i hardly post about it on the Bad Posts blog either but like still. can share it on ao3 though check out sleep by imjustheretoreadonefic (don't do that it's not good)) but you can ask about that (if you want, which you probably won't because it is not most people's thing lmao) on my sideblog, yourfourthparent!! BUTBUTBUT i do have some thoughts and headcanons and such that are at the very least decently presentable!!!!

starting off first: i think he's bi! i think he figured out he was bi when he was pretty young (probably somewhere in his teenage years, probably like 15 max) and when he was in his 20s he was very involved in the queer community (his 20s being. in the 80s. sorry.) and was like a big activist. that is until the curse.

the curse being him hitting his big break. stars in some film that wasn't supposed to really blow up but it like Fucking Smashed and suddenly he was like all those guys who do one role and then are suddenly in Everything. cuz he sure is in literally everything. once he starts blowing up ofc he's got folks to help manage his image and at some point they're like haha [lip bite] you gotta stop with that gay shit or straight audiences won't find you marketable. you're already native and folks can hardly handle that let alone you being an active queer activist. you gotta cut that shit out so you can be the next batman or whatever. and tristan's like Well at least i'll make money to support myself and my dying father!

newsflash his father dies of cancer before he gets a chance. tristan's doing his best to avoid thinking about his father's death so he moves out of oklahoma blah blah yk how it goes.

he has piper when he's 33 ! everything's set and he's settled and then piper comes along and like. he's alright. he can handle this. he can be a good father (he's white knuckling the bathroom sink while he says this)

yeah he's terrified of being a shitty father. he does his best to keep her away from the press and keep her Okay for the most part but in order to do that he doesn't get to see her much etc etc. you know. you've read hoo. bleh

when piper starts dating jason he's like Oh cool ! i am about to break down ! cuz like. hey man. he is so not prepared for the reality of The Passage of Time. wdym his daughter is 16. fym tristan's almost fifty. that's so fucked up how is this allowed.

anyways he and jason are like Besties (*shoving my Bad posts to the side*) like they're such good friends they hang out so often even after jason and piper break up they're just Hiding it then. like they have weekly chess meetings and they talk about books and their lives and jason concerns tristan So Much oh my god tristan is so scared for this poor boy What are those tattoos young man Who are these "wolves" that raised you What is this "legion" Are you in a gang Little private school boy are you in a gang. What do you mean your first language is latin.

ngl my obsession with tristan came from my obsession with jason. i made a post like ages ago about how silly it'd be if tristan was jason's gay awakening and i just kept. thinking about them hanging out. and it spiralled and now i'm insane about him sorry. jason will always be my number one but Oohhhhh tristan consumes me.

anyways live tristan reaction when he finds out jason's mom is beryl grace in the middle of showing jason and piper a million old movies (beryl is in one and jason sees her and immediately freezes and tristan's just talking through the movie (hes silly sorry he talks through the whole thing. piper actually likes it because she has a hard time following movies so tristan explaining everything is good but jason is vaguely annoyed by it. he loves tristan to death don't get him wrong it's just that he can't concentrate on the kovie with tristan spitting fun facts a million words a second) when he looks over to see if theyre still watching and he just sees piper fretting over jason who's looking at the screen with a thousand gard stare.

let's go misc things that i want to mention somewhere but don't really fit uhhhh

i have this idea where tristan used to be a drag queen. i don't have any of the details down not a single one but i think about him talking to piper and her friends about the old days when he was a queen. mentions something offhandedly about how he wants to wear more feminine clothing and someone's like "oh are you like. yk. a gamer" and he's like "oh nonono i'm not trans trust me i explored my gender plenty, wore makeup, padded my bra, did drag for a few years, changed my name—" and they're like "you did DRAG ???" and he's like "OH yeah LOLZ i was terrible lol. my team keeps trying to bury it from public view for a reason. those looks were NOT serving !!!!" (he doesn't talk like that but i'm being silly rn)

(you just knoooooow jason was jaw on the floor immediately looking up TRISTAN MCLEAN DRAG TRISTAN MCLEAN DRAG QUEEN PERSONA NAME TRISTAN MCLEAN DRAG QUEEN TRISTAN MCLEAN— the SECONDDDD he got a chance. like staring so hard at old ass pictures of tristan doing drag and realising like Oh maybe i am bi. piper dumped him because she found his search history /j)

i think when his father died he cut his hair but then when it started growing long again it reminded him too much of the past that he Didn’t Want To Think About so he just. kept it short. and it's been short ever since. BUTBUTBUT when piper decides she wants to reconnect with her culture (which she's been mostly separate from because of tristan's own avoidance of it due to memories of his childhood and his father and blahblahblah) it sort of motivates him to do it too. like if piper's gonna do it after tristan entirely cut her from their culture then like. he can too. and it was a big part of his life when he was younger so like. he knows shit. i'm not good at this btw sorry i just have ideas UGSFHADGSF but anyways when piper starts reconnecting he decides to do it too and his first step with like Getting Comfortable again is growing his hair out. it's a smaller step yk he just doesn't cut his hair it's nothing active. (ofc when it starts getting properly long he has a few moments. he has to really confront his grief over his father's death and just the fear of that alone is enough to make him want to cut it again. piper stops him before he does but he has a few moments where he questions if it's worth it)

ik i just said earlier that he's not trans but like sometimes. with characters. i have headcanons that complety contradict each other. that is to say Transfem tristan mclean headcanon. she changes her name to t. just T. t wynn mclean. she goes by t cuz it's something she's already used to (jason called her that all the time before she came out).

these are all the ones i have off the top of my head agh pleaseplease feel free to ask more about any of these !!! (or critique them lmao half of them are. things i suck at explaining because they exist only for hyperspecific scenarios wherein nothing happens but tristan talking to jason or piper LMAO) you can also send in your own headcanons about him or jason or piper because EYE WANT TO READ MORE ABOUT THEM RAAAAGHHH seriously there's so little stuff that features him especially and if you have literally anything at all i would lovelovelove to read it all !!!!!!! sorry for deleting the ask btw i really didn't mean to LMAO sorry to my honourary mutual (i'd tag you but i'm afraid of misremembering who it was LMAO sorry mate 💔💔)

[guardian-angle22]

Tagged by @beautifulhigh & @welcometololaland to list my top 5 Tarlos scenes.

This is really going to show my Season 3 bias ngl.

#5. 2.12 "Don't make me twist your arm."/"Please do."

Their chemistry is insane when they're teasing each other downstairs and then they kiss each other so softly once they get upstairs. I'm a sucker for a good soundtrack moment and there's something iconic about having their house literally light up on fire under them while obliviously making out as Fever by Elvis Presley plays in the background. Peak cinema tbh.

#4. 3.04 "Hey, baby. Breathe."/"Welcome home, TK."

We can all agree to have these two can count as one scene, right? they go back to back. The way TK reached for Carlos as soon as he woke up and immediately noticed that Carlos wasn't breathing right even though he just woke up from a coma, is still groggy, and barely has his eyes open? soulmate shit right there. If you haven't watched this without the music. my god. do it now. & then add in how happy they both look as Carlos leads TK into the loft with his hands over his eyes, and then when TK looks around and you can see on his face when he realizes he still gets to have this despite everything? Beautiful.

#3. 3.18 "For the first time in my life, the love that I feel is infinitely more powerful than the fear of losing it."/"A thousand times yes."

I mean can I even say more about the proposal that hasn't already been said? the urgency TK felt that prompted him to wake Carlos up in the middle of the night. His speech to Carlos. All the little touches throughout. The way they both were crying by the end. It was beautiful and it was perfect for them. (the only way it could have been better is if they maybe stopped to turn on a fucking lamp)

#2. 3.08 "Hey, look at me."/"I love you."

This was their first mutual "I love you" shown on screen and while the context was heartbreaking, it was still so so sweet. Carlos being the loving caregiver, kissing TK's forehead, rubbing his knee, wanting to make sure he eats. The way Carlos tells TK to look at him and he does immediately, even though TK has been basically avoiding eye contact with everyone the entire scene will live rent free in mind for all of time, I'm sure.

#1. 3.13 "Do you have any idea how proud of you I am?"/"You're just so sweet."

Can I put the entirety of 3.13 on the list at number one? Because it's my favorite episode for them. It has so many things. It has them being domestic and flirtatious. TK being distracted by Carlos in yoga clothes. It has them fighting a bit, overcoming those obstacles, and communicating. It showed Carlos as a multidimensional character with flaws like jealousy and pettiness, but then growing through it to come to the realization that he can't be everything that TK needs at the end of the day.

But if I absolutely had to pick just one scene from it, I would chose the opening scene. TK sharing with Carlos about his meeting, finding a sponsor, & the realization of not having Gwyn around affecting his mindset. Carlos waiting up with his adorable glasses, reading articles to educate himself, telling TK how proud of him he is. TK calling him sweet and flirting with him. I just-- 🥰🥰

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Because I'm doing this pretty late in the day, this has made it's rounds through a lot of my mutuals already. so I'm just going to tag a few people that I haven't seen do it yet (no pressure though if you're not feelin' it. but also if you have done it and I missed it let me know so I can read yours!): @morganaspendragonss @ourlegendwillbefitforverse @detective-giggles @noxsoulmate @ladytessa74 @autistic-lesbian-story-lover @tkstrandreyes @pragmatic-optimist @reyescarlos @spencessmile @poledancingghostson @sunshinestrand @mandiiigurllll