#even jack and later natalie

[apollos-boyfriend]

👀

-@10piecechickenmcnugget

i need to read the comics before i fully touch on what i want to do with brian so tim time <33 i've already gotten into what he's up to a bit with the masky ramble but i can never talk about my boy enough <3

he's probably the closest thing the kids have to like. a stable caretaker. and by stable i mean consistent because that man is NOT stable in any way shape or form. in the order of events i have currently he's the first adult to show up and therefore has a much closer connection to the kids, having been unable to bring himself to leave them until jane arrived and gave him a Small break. he was meant to take a week for himself but came back after literally a day (for him, time's wonky at the mansion so it was either like a few days or hours for them) because he got too anxious and stressed about their well-being. he eventually gets better at it but it takes a Good While.

tim just feels a large amount of responsibility because in a way, most of those kids were failed by the system, like he was. it's clear most of them suffer from Some mental health issue, and tim knows what it feels like to be looked down upon and ostracized for not fitting into the norm. and like, yeah, it's not the Exact Same, but spending god-knows how long alone with just the kids and slender's inconsistent appearances made him a bit attached, despite his better judgement.

and it's funny because i don't think tim is good with kids. like at all. he barely considers himself a caretaker because he sees himself as the bare minimum at best. but he was all they had for a long time and even when jane and brian eventually show up to help, they still can't help themselves. it's like how cats have this sixth sense and can instantly swarm the nearest cat hater/person with cat allergies. brian was a camp counselor and dealt with kids for years and jane essentially raised her sister herself but no. they cling to the man with 300 diseases that spends half his time wallowing in self-pity about how he's not good enough for them

[send me a "👀" and i'll ramble about an au]

[sixofcrowdaydreams]

I was incredibly lucky enough to get to visit London and see Next to Normal twice in the short time I was there (and meet Jack Wolfe at the stage door!) But lots of fans might not have the same opportunity, so I wanted to share some details about the production and the changes/additions made to the performance since the Donmar production because I remember eagerly reading as many details as possible once upon a time.

Obviously, spoilers ahead for acting choices and stage directions. (Personally, I love spoilers and knowing what to look for in a production, but if you have the chance to see the show and want to be surprised, this is a good place to stop reading.

First off, Diana is shown as waaaaaay more crazy. Her behavior is far more erratic and there's never a moment when you think she's lucid and in control. Personally, I liked this change because I felt like in the Donmar production she was too... normal? She didn't quite behave as the person who broke down in the market, set the house on fire, crashed the car, and jumped in the swimming pool. Here, I completely believe she did all those things. Diana is hypersexual, ripping her top off as she runs past Natalie in the beginning to go have sex with Dan. She plants a kiss on Henry, to Natalie's utter horror, the first time she meets him. (Dan does not react to this, haha, he's used to it.) All of Diana's interactions with with therapists have an undercurrent of overly flirty, sexual dialog. Obviously, this is one sided and unreciprocated from the therapists. At one point she tells the therapist that she's flattered, but her husband is waiting in the car and it's impossible to see it as anything other than super sexual. (She's kinda into it though...) Diana lays curled on the floor more often clutching her head. You never doubt that she is manic.

Let's talk about Gabe.

Jack Wolfe rewrote the role of Gabe, there's no denying that. Instead of the menacing looming ghost, all American jock ghost, Jack plays him as a soft boy. The ultimate soft boy. And I didn't know it was possible, but he ramped that energy up 100% in this production. Jesus christ, he couldn't have been any more adorable if he stood on stage batting his eyelashes. Not only is Gabe played as a soft boy, he's particularly played as being very child-like. It's quite the duality. He has the body and mentality of a supposed 18 year old. He makes a joke about not taking coke "right now," and taunts his father with the location of the car keys at the beginning of the show. Later he reminds his mother that young people in love are horny.

Yet, Gabe's emotional responses, reactions to those around him are extremely childish. It really struck me how similar his expressions of joy, fear, and anger were to my toddler. Eerily similar. In a new addition, his face lights up with uncontrolled joy, giggling when he sees the music box. (His music box.) Gabe jumps to sit on the counter, and hugs it to his chest as he and Diana listen to the music.

There are moments when he is hurt by watching his parents fight and looks absolutely wounded. Like, shoulder hunched, chin tucked in looking down completely betrayed. Another new addition to this production includes Gabe turning his head away and closing his eyes as his mother flushes her pills down the drain. He does not want to see her do it. The dialog is a little at odds with this action because he still tells Diana that he thinks she's being very brave even though he visibly disagrees with her choice.

Gabe recoils in fear during the "chair moment" in a way you wouldn't expect from a young man. When Gabe and Dan crowd Diana during "I Am the One" she lashes out and grabs the chair, swinging it around, forcing them both away from her. Gabe jumps backward in surprise. But this time he also runs behind the counter, visibly terrified that his mother's anger is directed at him. He ducks as she swings the chair, unlike Dan, who is still on the same side of the counter as her and backs out of the way but continues singing and engaging with her, unlike Gabe who does it from a safe distance.

And when Diana's memories of Gabe, and Gabe himself returns after shock therapy, he unleashes the "I'm Alive Reprise" with what I can only describe as the same chaotic gleeful energy my toddler has when my kid starts evil cackling. It's a loud, full body laugh of delight that no one else takes any amusement in that, but that does not stop the child from enjoying it. It's a wild moment in the production. Gabe literally rolls around on top of the counter in delight at being unleashed.

Gabe is also more physically affectionate toward Diana. He hugs her several times and kisses her head. If he gets the opportunity to touch her, he will. In one poignant moment, Dr. Madden convinces Diana to look at Gabe's baby items and start letting go. Gabe tries to get her attention by attempting to hold her hand in order make her talk to him, and instead of taking it, she walks away and leaves him reaching toward her. He is devastated. In the Donmar production Diana and Gabe sat against the counter and leaned on one another. In this production that moment was substituted for Gabe kneeling on the floor and Diana lying on the floor and putting her head in Gabe's lap. He strokes her hair and reassures her.

Instead of seeming jealous or spiteful toward Natalie, Gabe seems enraptured with her. No sibling rivalry here. He tries, unsuccessfully, to get her attention several times and even places his hand over hers on the counter in a moment of comfort, not that she notices. In this production Gabe does not put Diana's purse or bag of pills in front of his sister, starting her addiction. She finds them herself.

This production solved one of the problems I originally had with "Super Boy and the Invisible Girl" in the Donmar production. In the original original New York run Gabe was played by Aaron Tveit as the very jock, athletic all American boy, which is in strict contrast to Natalie, the dorky anxious sister. At the end of the song Gabe joins Natalie singing, "she's not there," until his voice overpowers her and takes over the song as a vocal reminder that he's the favored child. Obviously, the Donmar production didn't do this because Gabe changed to soft boy energy. So Gabe joining the end of the song, singing at Natalie made less sense that the two are no longer in competition. THIS PRODUCTION instead had both Gabe and Natalie singing the end of "Super Boy and the Invisible Girl" to Diana, which was completely brilliant. Diana curls up on the floor clutching her head as both turn their attention toward her. Natalie stands at the top of the stairs and Gabe stands on the counter, both looming over Diana on the floor (asking her why she is not present in their lives and almost accusing her for casting them in the roles of Super Boy and Invisible Girl.)

Gabe is also present in more moments than the original Donmar production. He lurks in the background of several more scenes that did not feature him at the Donmar. This is an excellent choice. He joins Diana during her therapy session when she is hypnotized. Diana makes the joke about turning the light on at the bottom of the stairs to Gabe, both of them being playful and sharing teasing glances because they doubt the success of the hypnosis. (Jokes on Gabe) As Diana falls further into hypnosis, Gabe becomes less visible on stage until he's completely eclipsed behind Dr. Madden and cannot be seen at all even though he's still on stage standing behind the doctor. Gabe tails Diana through the house like a sad puppy afterward when she goes upstairs and retrieves the "baby box."

Gabe did not "try" to make his mother commit suicide. He grabbed his backpack and a dufflebag and started to walk out the door until Diana sang, "I'd die to dance with you." She had already made up her mind to die before Gabe turns around and begins to sing "There's a World." He seemed to help her after she already made her choice. It was less coaxing her into suicide and more guiding her through it, reassuring her of the what came at the end and how he would be there with her.

Gabe watches while Dan cleans up Diana's suicide attempt. He shows up just in time for Dan to sing the lyric, "And there's no one around," disproving Dan's claim that he's all alone. Now, looking this up, it seems like Gabe is supposed to be in this scene, but I have NO MEMORY of Gabe at this part in the original Donmar production. That could just be my faulty memory though. This scene really strengthens their confrontation later in "I Am the One Reprise." I also have no memory of the "sonogram scene" at the Donmar though I distinctly remember reading about it and was actively watching for the moment when Gabe stood on the upper floor and the curtain dropped, casting him in silhouette reminiscent to a sonogram while Diana listens to the music box. So maybe I'm just not remembering correctly? Still, this scene was also excellent and haunting as Gabe hummed the music box melody. The humming was beautiful and it broke me.

At one point in this production, Gabe almost touches his father, but pulls away first. Gabe, desperate to be acknowledged, stands in front of Dan, who reaches forward to touch Diana. Gabe quickly retreats in fear, and throws himself out of the way to avoid touching his father.

I'm not particularly sure anything changed during "I Am the One Reprise," but it's my favorite scene of the entire show, so I'm gonna talk about it. Because hot damn. Before this moment Diana talks to Natalie and sings "Maybe" While they talk Dan and Gabe are sitting against opposite side of the counter. (Dan in the front on the far left hands clutching his head, Gabe behind the counter on the far right curled into a ball, arms wrapped around his knees, forehead on his knees) When Diana finally tells Natalie (and the audience) how her older brother died, Gabe perks up at the mention of his name. He slowly unfolds, sits up, and listens as if it is the first time he's heard it too. Then Diana sings "So Anyway," and leaves. Both men watch her go. (To my utter amusement, Gabe turns into a prairie dog standing up on his knees -- again, reminding me of my toddler who does the same thing in order to sit up and see better -- as Diana leaves.)

Dan stands and starts singing "I Am the One Reprise" to Diana. But Gabe stands and starts singing the reprise to Dan. Then he gets to, "I know you told her that I'm not worth a damn, But I know you know who I am." And then the music cue drops.

It's so powerful.

For the first time Gabe looks angry. Confrontational. He demands to be recognized by his father while Dan denies his presence and begs him to go away. In a stunning leap of athleticism, Gabe jumps on the counter and grabs Dan from the back. It's almost violent. Dan struggles but Gabe refuses to let go until Dan spins around they lock onto each other's forearms and sing the same verse. It's so emotionally charged. Both actors are cry and yell at each other as they sing.

Then Dan starts to pull away and Gabe desperately reaches out trying to hold him again, but unable to from his position on the counter. He continues to reach out despite Dan growing farther away. it's heartbreaking. Dan finally says Gabe's name and recognizes him. It's all Gabe has wanted from his father the entire show. Gabe is so happy in this moment. They look like they are going to continue talking, but Natalie comes in and asks her father, "It's just us?" Now, I remember the line being "It's just the two of us?" at the Donmar, but it's been a hot minute, so I could be wrong (again). But I like, "It's just the two of us?" better because it forces Dan to deny Gabe once again. Dan deliberately looks over at Gabe on the counter before agreeing with Natalie. And Gabe just... gives up. He got the 10 seconds of acknowledgement he wanted from his father. Dan said his name and Gabe's content with that much even though Dan denies him once again in front of Natalie.

Gabe slowly gets off the counter, touches Natalie's hand, though she's unaware, and walks upstairs like a sad little ascending angel who watches over his remaining family.

Other thoughts:

I may not have talked nearly as much about the rest of the cast, but they were all perfect. I loved everyone's voice. Dan was sooooo sympathetic and I love him more and more each time I see the show. Natalie's voice is gorgeous. Stunning. Diana is an unreliable narrator and I think the audience often forgets that.

There are so many props in this set, it must be a nightmare to restock for each show. The food Diana throws around making sandwiches is real, as is the disastrous dinner. (During Diana and Dan's argument they clean up and Diana just throws the dishware into the trash, not just the food, the pan and bowl too and it feels so in character.) Everything else just gets shoved into the sink, haha. The sink does have running water. The birthday cake seems like a prop though and Diana did her best to keep the candles lit while she raced around the stage looking for her dead son. From the balcony on my first viewing I had a really good view of the baby box and saw the exact moment the "blood" began to leak from it. It happened very quickly before the stage turned around, which made me think the it was remote controlled and not set on a release timer (though it probably could be. Every movement from everyone on stage is extremely coordinated even though they are not dancing.) Sitting closer to the stage, the box seemed to leak from all four corners -- I'm just a weirdo who likes knowing these production details.

The cast popping out of the fridge was way funnier during "Psychopharmacologist and I" because they opened the fridge was used it as an ordinary fridge during the opening song. So it was totally unexpected.

Only one person audibly reacted in the audience to Gabe's death reveal between the two shows I saw. Lol. Everyone else went in knowing.

Jesus christ, I have no idea how the actors wore long sleeves and pants on stage. I sat four rows back on the second viewing and I WAS HOT from the stage lights and I wasn't running around the stage like they were. They definitely were visibly sweating.

A friend pointed out that the cast were using American accents, which I didn't realize. For the most part they sounded fine, especially compared to the interviews where the cast use in their natural accents. The most shocking difference was Natalie's actress -- she had the best American accent compared to her strong irl accent. Dan's actor too! Both Jacks couldn't quite cover up their soft vowels so my American ear didn't realize they were using an American accent when I heard their natural ones so clearly.

There were several stage mishaps the second time I saw the production. The curtain that goes up and down on the upper levels of the stage knocked over the "I'm Alive" microphone stand when it when down, knocking the mic off. The mic popped off and bounced down the stairs and rolled off the back of the stage where production presumably grabbed it. The actors picked up the mic stand and put the mic back on it in the next scene. The same microphone stand fell down again when Gabe turned around and his red backpack knocked it over. He picked it up very quickly.

During my "Psychopharmacologist and I" one of Dan's pill bottles, being used as a shaker, exploded. The actor froze for a second, then kept going as the "pills" scattered across the stage. He just put his empty hand in the pocket of the medical coat and continued. When the song ended, a production manager came out, apologized, and said the stage needed to be reset. All the actors left as the stage was swept. The audience looked at their phones for 5 minutes and then the production started again.

Next to Normal was such a joy to see. Like, yes, I saw it because of Jack Wolfe and he was absolutely a highlight of it. But I was never bored without him on stage. Though I did think "So Anyway" was a bit too long, but that's my personal opinion and the effect of jet lag may have influenced that thought. All of the cast and their voices were incredibly talented and I'm glad to be familiar with the show now.

This is long enough, but if you have any questions about the production, please ask! I am happy to answer questions to help those who might be able to see it in person visualize what happened on stage.

[crushedsweets]

How did the group even form a group? Was it originally Nina and Toby? Or was it Nat and Toby idfk

Plot twist Nina orchestrates this whole thing so she could have friends

the VERY FIRST interactions were kate and toby! then toby and natalie became the first proper duo, with kate occasionally popping up! then jack was someone they all visited sometimes.

YOU ARE SORT OF RIGHT THOUGH! nina is the one who fully secured it as a 'friendgroup'. she would intentionally make plans with everyone, try to get everyone in a groupchat (if they use phones, which is something kate doesnt get till years later LOL), try doing secret santa as a group, etc. without nina, they'd all just kinda be some weirdos who live in the same area and sometimes talk (which is funny considering nina is the only one who never lived in that forest)

[randomperson99sworld]

Hope

~ Chapter 5 ~

Summary: Dean and Sam Winchester save a young woman —Natalie Johnson, from a coven of witches who are after her deceased grandmothers spell book. At first Dean doesn’t trust her, will he ever? Natalie is just simply a woman who gets roped up in the supernatural world from a mistake her grandmother made.

Pairing: Dean x OC

Warning: Age gap, slow burn, smut (not until the later chapters), language, gore.

Word Count: 2,737

A/N: Please feel free to leave comments! I love reading them. This is my last chapter for the night. I’ve worked all day on these lol

A Few Days Later:

Things had mostly gone back to normal between Dean and Natalie, or at least as normal as things got in the bunker. Dean was still gruff with her, his words often clipped and his tone carrying that familiar edge of impatience, but there was something different now—something softer beneath the surface. Maybe he'd been too hard on her. Hell, he knew he had. He couldn't help it. It was how he was wired—tough, gruff, always on guard.

He'd been the same way with Jack. The kid had never deserved the kind of crap Dean had thrown at him, and Dean knew that now. But it was his defense mechanism, the walls he put up to protect himself from losing more people. Still, after that blow-up with Natalie, he'd been trying—really trying—to be less of an ass. It didn't come naturally, but for her sake, and for Sam's, he was making the effort.

A few days had passed since their argument, and there had been no sign of the witch or the Dark Scroll—the cursed spell book that had gotten Natalie tangled up in all this. She'd been working hard, though, tracking leads and piecing together the book's history. Every time Dean walked past her at the war room table, she was hunched over her laptop, scrolling through old records, auction listings, and black-market websites.

"It's close," she'd said more than once. "I know it's close, I just don't have anything solid yet."

The Dark Scroll had a long, twisted history. Used exclusively for dark magic, it had been passed around for centuries, causing chaos wherever it went. Natalie's grandmother had been the last known owner, but since her death, the book had vanished—likely sold off with the rest of her belongings. Natalie was determined to track it down, though, and Dean couldn't help but respect her determination, even if he still had his doubts about her.

That morning, Sam had burst into the war room with fresh news. "We've got a new case," he said, setting down a stack of papers in front of Natalie. "There's something weird going on in a small town just outside of Lawrence. I think it might be connected to some kind of supernatural entity—a Djinn, maybe—but I need your help with the research."

Natalie glanced up from her laptop, rubbing her tired eyes. "Djinn? Like, grant-wishes-but-then-twist-them kind of Djinn?"

"Exactly," Sam nodded, sifting through his notes. "People have been going missing after making wishes at this creepy old wishing well. I need to cross-reference the town's history with known Djinn activity in the area, but I also want you to keep working on tracking down the Dark Scroll."

"Two things at once," Natalie muttered, stretching her arms. "No problem."

Dean leaned against the doorframe, watching the exchange with crossed arms. "Think you can handle that, geek?"

Natalie shot him a look, half-amused, half-annoyed. "I've been handling it so far, haven't I?"

Dean grunted, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Fair enough."

Sam shot Dean a warning look, but there was no real heat behind it. He was starting to notice that while Dean was still gruff with Natalie, the edges had softened just a little. That, in Winchester terms, was progress.

"I'll be in and out, checking with local contacts," Sam said, gathering up his gear. "Dean and I will handle the fieldwork, but we'll need you to stay back and monitor everything from here."

"Yeah, yeah," Natalie waved him off with a playful roll of her eyes. "You know I'm your tech support. I'll handle it."

The hours ticked by, and Natalie found herself juggling two tasks—tracking down leads on the Dark Scroll while simultaneously researching Djinn lore and cross-referencing local legends for Sam and Dean. She wasn't sure how she'd fallen so easily into this routine of remote support and hacker extraordinaire, but somehow, she had.

Sam had gone off to investigate the case, leaving Dean behind with her at the bunker for a few hours. He'd been unusually quiet, working on weapons maintenance while Natalie clicked away at her laptop.

"I think I've got something," Natalie said suddenly, her voice breaking the silence. Dean glanced up from the silver knife he was sharpening, his eyes narrowed.

"On the case or the book?"

"The book," she replied, scrolling through an old auction catalog from a black-market dealer. "It was sold off to some collector in Massachusetts a few months after my grandmother passed. I'm trying to track where it went after that, but... it's slow."

Dean set down the knife, wiping his hands with a rag. He stared at her for a long moment, his face unreadable. "You really think this book's gonna solve all your problems?"

Natalie frowned, not sure where he was going with this. "No. But it's important. You know that. If this witch gets her hands on it, a lot of people could die."

Dean sighed, leaning back in his chair. He knew she was right, but the whole situation still didn't sit well with him. His instincts screamed that they were walking into another mess, another disaster waiting to happen. But that was their life, wasn't it?

"I get that," he muttered. "I just hope you're not getting too wrapped up in this."

Natalie gave him a curious look, sensing a rare moment of honesty from him. "You think I'm in over my head?"

Dean shrugged, his expression guarded. "I think... this life doesn't give a damn about what you're good at or what you care about. It just takes. And sometimes, it takes everything."

Natalie studied him for a moment, her frustration softening. She knew Dean was still processing everything—Charlie, Jack, everyone he'd lost. She could see the weight of that loss in the way he looked at her, in the way he tried to keep his distance.

"I get it, Dean," she said quietly, her tone softer than before. "You've been through a lot. More than anyone should have to deal with. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying. This book—it's not just about stopping the witch. It's... it's about my grandmother. I can't just let it go."

Dean stared at her for a long moment, then finally nodded, his gruff demeanor slipping just a little. "Alright. Just... be careful. We've lost enough people."

Natalie gave him a small, grateful smile. "I will."

Hours later, Sam called in from the field, his voice crackling through the comms. "We found the Djinn's lair. It's bad, Dean. People are trapped in their heads, reliving some kind of twisted fantasy."

Dean cursed under his breath, standing up and grabbing his jacket. "We'll handle it. You got the antidote ready?"

"Yeah," Sam replied. "But we'll need Natalie to monitor the security system here. We need to make sure no one else gets caught in the crossfire."

Natalie sat up straight, already switching gears. "I'm on it."

"Thanks, Nat," Sam said, his tone appreciative. "I don't know what we'd do without you."

As Dean prepared to leave, he glanced over at her, his expression still serious but no longer hard. "Keep us updated. And... good luck with the book."

Natalie nodded, her fingers already flying over the keyboard. "Good luck with the Djinn. Try not to get yourselves killed, okay?"

Dean chuckled under his breath, a rare sound that surprised even him. "No promises."

And with that, he was gone, leaving Natalie alone in the bunker once again, tackling both the hunt for the Dark Scroll and the Djinn case, her mind buzzing with activity. But for the first time, she felt like maybe, just maybe, she wasn't just a liability or a tag-along.

She was part of the team. And that meant something.

As the hours wore on, and the case unfolded in real-time over the comms, she couldn't shake the feeling that they were getting closer—closer to the truth about the Dark Scroll, closer to finding the witch, and closer to figuring out where they all fit in this strange, broken world.

But for now, all she could do was keep pushing forward.

Natalie sat back in her chair, rubbing her eyes as she scrolled through another old auction listing, her mind wandering. She couldn't help but think about how insane all of this was. A few months ago, her life had been completely normal—working as a cybersecurity analyst, living in her apartment, never worrying about things like witches or cursed books. Now, she was smack in the middle of a supernatural war zone, all because of a dusty old book her grandmother had bought on a whim.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, she thought, glancing at the laptop screen where she'd been piecing together the history of the Dark Scroll. She had told Dean this over and over: her grandmother wasn't a witch, not some secret sorceress hiding spells in her attic. She was just a woman who had an interest in the strange and unusual—kind of like the way people collect crystals or tarot cards, even if they don't believe in them.

Natalie could still remember her grandmother laughing when she first brought home the spell book.

"It's probably nothing," she'd said with a dismissive wave. "But it's a conversation starter, at least."

But now Natalie was caught in this mess—hunted by a witch coven because of that book. It was surreal and terrifying, and sometimes, when she was alone like this, she couldn't help but feel a pang of anger and grief. Not at her grandmother, but at the sheer unfairness of it all. If her grandmother had known what this book would bring into her life, she would've never bought it.

And yet, here Natalie was—tied to a spell book she barely understood and a witch who wanted it more than anything. Every lead felt like another dead end, and she was getting frustrated, though she'd never admit it to the brothers.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Sam's voice coming through her earpiece, his tone tense.

"Natalie, I need your help. Now."

Natalie snapped out of her reverie, immediately shifting her focus. "What's going on, Sam?" she asked, her fingers already flying over the keyboard.

"We've run into a problem," Sam's voice crackled. "The Djinn's stronger than we thought. We're in the lair, but we can't get the hostages out. We need more time."

Natalie's pulse quickened. She glanced at the monitors, tracking the security feed she'd hacked into earlier. "I'm pulling up the museum's internal system now. What do you need me to do?"

Dean's voice came through next, harsh and breathless, like he'd been in the middle of a fight. "Get those damn doors locked. Keep anyone else from getting into this nightmare. We've got enough on our hands in here."

"Got it." Natalie's fingers danced over the keys, her mind focused and clear now. She hacked into the security panel, overriding the local control system. Within seconds, she had full access. "Okay, I've locked down the outer doors. No one's getting in or out."

"Good," Dean grunted, his voice tight with strain. "Now we just need to figure out how to kill this son of a bitch."

Natalie continued to monitor their movements on the security feed, tracking their progress through the museum's darkened halls. She could see flashes of movement on the grainy cameras—Dean swinging his machete at the twisted, shadowy form of the Djinn, Sam pulling unconscious victims from their nightmarish dream worlds. They were holding their own, but just barely.

"Dean," she called through the comms, "the Djinn's moving toward the west wing. You need to head that way before it traps more people."

"We're on it," Sam replied, panting with effort. "Just... keep those cameras rolling. If it moves again, let us know."

Natalie's eyes darted across the screens, scanning for any sign of movement. She felt the familiar rush of adrenaline—the same rush she'd always felt when she was cracking a code or hacking into a system for work. Only now, instead of stopping a cyberattack, she was helping two hunters fight off a supernatural threat.

This wasn't the life she'd chosen, but it was the life she had now. And somehow, she was making it work.

The Djinn was relentless. Dean and Sam were moving as fast as they could, but it was clear from the strain in their voices that they were running out of time.

"Natalie, do we have any other exits?" Sam asked, his voice tight with exhaustion. "We need to get these people out before the Djinn circles back."

Natalie scanned the museum's blueprints. "There's an emergency exit in the north hall. It's not on the usual maps, but I can get it open."

Dean's voice cut in, rough as gravel. "Get it open now."

Natalie hacked into the emergency system, overriding the locked doors. "It's done. You've got five minutes before the system reboots. Get those people out."

"Good work, Nat," Sam said, relief clear in his voice. "We're almost done here."

Dean muttered something under his breath—something that almost sounded like praise. Natalie smiled to herself but didn't press the issue. They were in the middle of a life-or-death situation, after all.

As she continued monitoring the cameras, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye—something darting across one of the screens. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Dean, heads up. It's coming back your way."

Dean's heart pounded in his chest as he and Sam dragged the last of the hostages toward the emergency exit. He could feel the Djinn's presence getting closer, the air growing colder and thicker with every passing second.

"Here it comes," Sam warned, gripping his silver knife tightly.

The Djinn emerged from the shadows, its eyes glowing an eerie blue as it stalked toward them, moving like a predator ready to strike. Dean stepped forward, machete raised.

"Come on, you ugly son of a bitch," he growled. "Let's dance."

The fight was brutal, the Djinn moving faster than either of them had anticipated. It lashed out with supernatural speed, knocking Sam to the ground before turning its glowing eyes on Dean.

Natalie's voice came through the comms, urgent. "Dean, you need to aim for the heart! It's the only way to kill it!"

Dean gritted his teeth, dodging the Djinn's next attack. "Yeah, thanks for the tip."

He lunged forward, swinging the machete in a wide arc. The blade caught the Djinn in the chest, slicing through flesh and bone. The creature let out a piercing scream, its body convulsing before collapsing in a heap on the floor.

Dean stood over it, breathing hard, his muscles aching. "That's right. Stay down."

Sam groaned from the floor, pushing himself up. "We good?"

Dean glanced around, the tension in his body slowly easing. "Yeah. We're good."

Hours later, after the Djinn case was wrapped up and the hostages were safe, Dean and Sam returned to the bunker. Natalie was still at her laptop, her eyes tired but alert.

"How'd it go?" she asked, looking up as they entered the room.

"Djinn's dead," Dean said, collapsing into a chair. "People are safe. Thanks to you."

Sam gave her a grateful smile. "Seriously, Nat. You were a huge help. We couldn't have done it without you."

Natalie smiled, feeling a little warmth bloom in her chest. "Well, I try."

Dean leaned back in his chair, rubbing his temples. "So... any new leads on that damn spell book?"

Natalie sighed, shaking her head. "Nothing concrete yet, but I'm close. I can feel it."

Dean huffed, but there was no real edge to it this time. "Yeah, well. Keep at it. Sooner we get that thing, sooner we deal with this witch."

Natalie nodded, her determination renewed. They still had a long way to go, but for the first time in a while, she felt like she was making progress—on the book, on the witch, and maybe, just maybe, with Dean too.

As the night wore on and the bunker settled into its usual quiet, Natalie couldn't help but think that, despite everything, she was exactly where she needed to be.

[kavinam-indra-bharathi]

the various forms of sauron

for those who read my fic sirivennela, i have finally decided to post this series of how sauron keeps changing his form throughout the series (even though i never finished the series, but do not fear, i will not leave without completing it.)

terms to remember- a fanar refers to a corporeal body used by a maia or vala.

taglist- @aarasiswear, @herawell

also, srry for not frequently updating sirivennela, i will try to update sooner, same for song drabbles and navarasa drabbles as well.

and if you have any doubts regarding this post (except why sauron takes up a female fanar at some point, since answering them would be giving out spoilers) pls do ask them in the comments, i will try my level best to answer.

ps: i updated the list after fully fleshing out somethings that will later be revealed in sirivennela, and have added more forms, and made sure that the ones that are more maia like are here and the cat and the others are going to be in anther post, so those who saw it check it again

so, here goes, the list of sauron's innumerable forms:

the smith and liutenent consort of melkor- cody fern

timeline: valinor- glaurung's birth

name: mairon aulendil (later- bagulir) / sauron gorthaur

the mother of dragons (a female fanar)- kate winslet

timeline: destruction of lamps- post glaurung's birth

name: mairon bagulir/sauron gorthaur

the lord of tol-in-gaurhoth - jack lowden

timeline: post glaurung's birth- Dagor-nuin-Giliath

name: sauron gorthaur/mairon bagulir

the one who bore wyrms- meryem uzerli (a female fanar)

timeline: post glaurung's birth- Dagor-nuin-Giliath

names- mairon bagulir/sauron gorthaur

the flame of udun- keira knightley(a male fanar (note that though the actress is female, thefanar is that of a male))

timeline: Dagor-nuin-Giliath- dragor algareb

names- mairon bagulir/ sauron gorthaur

the flame of udun- emily carey(a female fanar )

timeline: Dagor-nuin-Giliath- dragor algareb

names- mairon bagulir/sauron gorthaur

the base master of treachery- merve bolgur

timeline: dragor algareb- dragor bragollarch

names- mairon bagulir/sauron gorthaur

the base master of treachery-natalie dormer (a female fanar )

timeline: dragor algareb- dragor bragollarch

names- mairon bagulir/sauron gorthaur

the lord of the black lands (note that this is a male fanar though athe actress is a female)- joss stone

timeline- dragor bragollarch- tol in gaurhoth

name- mairon bagulir/ sauron gorthaur

the lord of the black lands (a female fanar)- leyla feray

timeline- post dragor bragollach- tol in gaurhoth

name- mairon bagulir/ sauron gorthaur

the aggrieved - charlie vickers

timeline: post tol-in-gaurhoth - glaurung's death (since he occupies a diffrent fanar after nearly dying)

name: mairon bagulir/sauron gorthaur

the mother of the worm of erebor(a female fanar)- elle fanning

timeline: post tol-in-gaurhoth - glaurung's death (since he occupies a diffrent fanar after nearly dying)

name: mairon bagulir/sauron gorthaur

the black hand-aslihan gurburz (a female fanar)

timeline- glaurung's death- fall of gondolin

names- sauron gorthaur/ mairon bagulir

the black hand- nur fettahoglu (note that though the actress is a female , the fanar is that of a male)

timeline- glaurung's death- fall of gondolin

names- sauron gorthaur/ mairon bagulir

the lord of angband (note that this is a male fanar though athe actress is a female)- Beste Kökdemir

timeline- post gondolin- pre war of wrath

names- sauron gorthaur/ mairon bagulir

the lord of angband (a female fanar)- Nurgül Yeşilçay

timeline- post gondolin- pre war of wrath

names- sauron gorthaur/ mairon bagulir

the one who fled (a female fanar) - deepika padukone (a female fanar that he takes to seek the valar's pardon)

timeline- post war of wrath hiding- pre eregion

name- mairon bagulir

the one who fled (a male fanar) - charlie vickers (he takes a disguise as a man to escape)

timeline- post war of wrath hiding- pre eregion

name- halbrand/ mairon bagulir

the seductor - keerthy suresh (a male fanar, though the actress is female)

timeline- pre eregion- eregion (note, form used only to ensnare those who would later become the nazgul)

names: sauron gorthaur/ tar-mairon

the lord of gifts- david tennant

timeline: eregion-pre numenor

names: annatar

a form taken to satiate the curiosity of celebrimbor (a female fanar)- aishwariya rai bacchan

timeline: eregion-pre numenor

names: annatar

the whore of pharazon- sai pallavi (a male fanar, though the actress is female)

timeline: pre numenor- post numenor (note this is his physical form and not the form he takes when he enters another's mind)

names: Tar-mairon/zigur

the zigur- shobhana ( a form taken when he is the priest in the temple of morgoth and not when he beds pharazon) (a male fanar, though the actress is female)

timeline: pre numenor- post numenor (note this is his physical form and not the form he takes when he enters another's mind)

names: tar mairon/ zigur

names: Tar-mairon/zigur

the one who plagues the mind- nissankara mahanati savitri ganeshan (a male fanar though the actress is female)

timeline: pre numenor- post numenor(note that this is the form he takes when he is entering another's mind)

names: tar mairon/zigur

the lord of the rings- jarred blakiston

timeline: post numenor- war of last alliance

names: sauron gorthaur

the lord of the rings- sala baker

timeline- poat numenor- war of last alliance

names: sauron gorthaur

the corpse- luke goss (note that this is his new corporeal form after the incident in dol guldur)

timeline: pre botfa- void

names: sauron gorthaur/ mairon bagulir

[hockeyandhrsepwr]

Silverstone

Je T'aime series

Previous Part: Montreal

F1 Driver reader x Jack Hughes

Two weeks after the Montreal GP, it's time for Silverstone, and the Stanley cup finals heat up

Silverstone weekend doesn’t end well, with you having a slow pit stop & ending up in 7th. You’re frustrated, but at least you still got some points. Making your way through the media pen, you get waved over by your favourite interviewer Natalie. 

“Y/N, how are you feeling after today? I imagine it’s not the result you wanted?”

“Yeah, not what we were hoping for, but we know what we need to work on & we’ll come back stronger after the break. I’m really happy for Mick with his win though. He deserved it.”

“It was great to watch him today. I’m glad to see the result didn’t get you too down. Ready for the summer break?”

“Heh, things don’t go your way sometimes but that’s the nature of the sport. We’re still in a good position point wise. But yeah, well get some work in over the summer in the factory after a little break and try to improve.”

“Going anywhere exciting?”

“Uh yeah, I’m heading back to the US for a bit. My friend Thomas, who I mentioned in Montreal, a bunch of his friends have a lake house that they all go to in the summer during the NHL break. I’ve visited over the past few years, so I’m going over there for a few weeks to catch up & have a bit of a break, then I’ll be back in Maranello for the week or so heading into Zandvoort.”

“That sounds nice! So, it’s a bit of a tradition then, for you to go there?”

“Yeah, so he first brought me 5 years ago, but now I’m friends with all of them too so I’ll go even if he can’t make it. Most of the hockey guys will make an appearance at some point over the summer, bit it’s a bit up in the air who I’ll actually see. It’s always a nice way to recharge though, the area is beautiful.”

“Well, have a lovely break y/n, and well see you in September!”

“Thanks Natalie, you have a nice break too!”

You wave and walk on to the next interview. You can’t wait to head back to Michigan and just chill for a few weeks. But first, you’re going out with Mick to celebrate his win & spend a bit of time together before you head in different ways for the summer. You hoped that you’d be able to make it back to the US and watch Jack in the cup finals, but the Devils have the series 3-0 against the Oilers. They play tonight so there’s no way you’ll make it to what could potentially be the deciding game. If they lose, which hopefully not, you’ll be able to make it to the next one. It’ll be a late night tonight with the time difference, but it gives you time to celebrate with Mick, since he really deserved the win. 

Once we clear off back to the hotel, you get a chance to call Jack. 

“Hey babe, I’m sorry about today” you sigh, “it is what it is, but I’m not here to talk about me. Ready?” 

You can hear the nerves in his voice “Were as ready as we can be. It’s not the end of the world if we lose, but It’d be great to sweep it”

“You’re going to kill it. I just wish I could be there to see it.”

“Soon, babe soon.” You hear someone yelling at him, so you know it’s time to go. “Good luck & fuck the oilers. je t’aime.”

He says it back before hanging up. 

 Knocking on your door pulls you out of your little funk, wishing you could be there tonight. “One sec” you jump up & grab your purse before opening the door to Mick & Esteban. 

“let’s GOOOO” they yell & you smile. If you can’t be with jack, at least you’ve got these guys to distract you from the sadness. The group of you head out into London ready to tear it up. 

Four hours later, you make you way back to the hotel, drunk but not blackout because you need to be able to watch the whole game. You get some coffee, get comfy & facetime Thomas.

“Excited?” he asks when he picks up, showing you his living room in Montreal

“yeah, but so fucking nervous.  Stupid TV won’t connect.”

Yo finally get it to work just before the game starts. You see Jack there and start crying. 

“Babe, what’s wrong” Thomas says in alarm.

“I just, I just love him so much” you bawl, “and I miss him.” 

“Okay Jesus, calm down.” Thomas is muttering “god you’re drunk” You nod, tears streaming down you face as you watch the game get underway. 

Its fast paced & back & forth as Edmonton try & put one in and keep their chances alive. 

No one scores in the first 2 period, your stress rising exponentially. 

GO GO GO GO GO YEAAAAHHHHHH!!! You cry when the Devils score twenty seconds into the third. Then someone pounds on your door. 

“oh shit, you’re in trouble” Thom whispers from the phone as you slowly walk over. 

“y/n what the hell its 4am” Charles whispers. Oops, you forgot he was next door. 

“I’m sorry” You whisper back, “Jack’s team scored” he rolls his eyes. No matter how many times you try & explain it, he doesn’t understand why people enjoy it. “Hey, it’s the finals. If they win, it’s like winning the drivers’ championship with a few races left. If you lose you still have time but it’s better to win as quick as possible.”

“Y/N!” you hear from Thomas, so you turn around. Charles follows behind & jumps on your bed as you turn your attention back to the game. “Who is it?” you ask Thomas as you stare at the fight going down. “Think its Mercer, but It was hard to see” he says as the refs pull the players apart, shoving both into the penalty box as the clock ticks down. 

“McDavid must be shitting himself right now.” You joke. 

“who’s McDavid?” Charles pipes up. 

“he’s basically the Verstappen of the team, the generational talent. But it’s the first time he’s gone to the finals and could win. Now shush.” Putting your hand on his mouth, Thomas is laughing as you focus on the TV, 2 minutes left. Poor Vitek’s getting pounded by shots from the Oilers but nothings getting in. Devils get it back into their end & as the final minute hits Nico smacks a one timer straight through the legs.

“They win right?” Charles says as you sit there in shock. 

“Shut it” Thomas hisses from the phone, both of you knowing that’s it’s not impossible for Edmonton to score 2 in less than a minute. But they don’t and ten seconds left in the game, it finally sinks in

“Holy shit, holy shit. Thomas!!!! They fucking did it.”  You’re losing it, tears streaming down your face but huge smile on your face as the buzzer sounds. Charles is laughing at you as he pulls him phone out and films your reaction. 

“ I can’t fucking believe it. Hes a champion. Where’s my phone?” you’re looking frantically as Charles passes it to you & you pull up the camera. 

“Jack, you did it!!! I’m so fucking proud of you. you deserve this after everything you’ve put in. You’re my superstar and We’re going to celebrate so hard. Tell the boys I say congrats!!” Charles grabs your phone and says “She’s still pretty drunk, so I’m going to get her to bed, but congrats man. She’ll see you soon.” And sends it off. 

Thomas s still on facetime on your laptop absolutely laughing his ass off. “I don’t think I can sleep” you mutter, already laying down in bed eyes half closed. “Too much excitement” the two boys laugh as they both say good night and Charles slips out. You drift off, dreaming about the fun you’re going to have this summer. 

“Fucking hell” your head is absolutely killing you when you wake up, but you have to get going. you’ve got a flight booked to Jersey that leaves at 12. You search for your phone before finally seeing it plugged in. thanks Charles. The first thing you see is,

Jack Hughes secret woman and your heart drops. Did something happen last night? No, you trust Jack. But you continue reading. 

The New jersey Devils won the Stanley cup after sweeping the Edmonton Oilers 4 – 0, ending their series with a shutout 2-0 game. Celebrations took over the Prudential center, and star player Jack Hughes when pulled into an interview said “to win with my brother (Luke Hughes also plays for the devils and was on the ice with Jack when that buzzer sounded) and have so much of my family here means everything. This is what every player dreams of, honestly, I don’t really have words yet.” When asked how he plans on celebrating the win, he mentioned “seeing my girl”. This is the first time we’ve heard of a potential love interest, but it appears she’s busy in her own right as he also mentioned she would’ve loved to be there but wasn’t able to with work. Not sure what work she does, but surely the potential cup deciding game would be worth missing work for. What do you think?

Jesus, why is this “breaking news” when they just won? Surely that’s not the most important thing to report right now. But you know how the media is from your own experiences, so you’re not surprised. You’re pretty used to ignoring the nonsense by now. 

You read your messages from Jack, knowing it’s too early to call him. You start packing up so you can get going, when a knock on the door interrupts.

“He won!” mick yells as you open the door & half of the grid is there smiling. You grin, “hell yeah he did” as you gesture them in. Most of them are sticking around London for a few days, but they’ve come to say bye, since they knew you’d be gone as soon as possible.

Lots of hugs and ‘tell him we say congrats later, everyone’s gone but Mick. 

“you’re going to have a fun summer” he jokes, and you throw a pillow at him. The two of you walk down together so you can grab a cab & go to the airport. 

“See you soon sailor” you hug Mick and go on your way. You can’t wait to get back to Jersey and then Michigan. 

Nine hours later, you’re landing in Newark, exiting the airport to see Ellen waiting for you. Rushing over you wrap your arms around her, both of you excited. She’s going to bring you back to Jack & Luke’s, which is where they’re staying anyway. 

He doesn’t know you’re here yet since you didn’t tell him what time you’d be getting in. He knows you were trying to make it back on the Monday, but not when. 

“They’re probably still asleep” Ellen comments when you’re nearly to the apartment, and you laugh “how late did everything go last night?”

“Oh, it was like 6am by the time they got back so.” “Not surprising” you laugh. 

You park & make your way to the apartment where Jim lets you in. You walk around into the kitchen & see Jack, Luke, Quinn, Nico, Dawson & johnny sat around the counter, drinking coffee and looking a little worse for wear. 

Jack looks up and says “I must be still drunk. I’m seeing y/n.” The rest of the boys turn towards you & laugh. “Not drunk babe,” you say, and it takes a minute but then he jumps up and runs to you, grabbing you and squeezing.

“I missed you so much.” 

“ moi aussi” you kiss him before pulling him over to the table so you can congratulate the rest of the boys and get some food. 

[k-evans-reads]

In Living Color

Chapter 15 - Part Two

Summary: When Natalie Marton, lead character designer for Buzz Lightyear, meets the voice of Buzz, Chris Evans, the sparks are undeniable. But when their work pushes them away from each other, both physically and emotionally, will the sheer differences between their worlds be enough to force them apart?

Pairing: Chris Evans x Pixar Animator OFC Natalie Marton

Word Count: 6,044

By: @k-evans-writes and @ourfinest-hour

We do NOT give permission for our works to be reuploaded, translated, or reposted on any other site. Our work is our own.

Warnings: None.

Previous | Main Masterlist | In Living Color Masterlist

November 25th, 2021

“Okay I think these pants are going to have to be unbuttoned after that meal,” Chris sighed as he leaned back in his chair, looking at the empty dishes scattered around the table in front of him, a slight yawn escaping him as his arm rested across the back of Nat’s chair.  

“Honestly that was a rookie move,” Zach laughed from the opposite end of the table, pointing a finger at Chris as he smirked. “You should have just worn sweats.” 

He held a hand up, informing him, “Normally I do but I didn’t know Hungarians went this hard on Thanksgiving.” 

It’d been a great day already – one that Chris knew he’d never forget. The entire trip together back to Nat’s hometown had been memorable, but spending the day in and out of the kitchen with her father and family, taking the kids on a walk around the neighborhood while Alex and Zach tried to get Jack to nap, helping put together a Thanksgiving meal, all while seeing Nat entirely in her element…. There was nothing like this to Chris. 

Even now, once the meal had been enjoyed, with the big kids patiently playing in the living room before dessert later on, Chris looked around the table. He saw the faces of everyone he’d grown close to in the past few months, but especially in the past week together. Not for the first time, he considered canceling his flight in the morning to Orlando, but he knew it was for the best. His own niece and nephews had spoken to him non-stop about the trip this weekend and he had some obligations to fill there anyways, but he wanted to stay in this bubble with Nat, in the place no one expected him to be right now, giving him a bit more privacy than he’d be afforded normally. He got to walk around with the kids, play with them in the yard, run to the store with Ryan earlier, all without a second glance over his shoulder. 

“Now you’ll know for next year,” Ryan laughed as he ghosted a hand over Jack, then glanced over his shoulder into the living room to check on the kids. 

“I can’t even think about next year,” Alex admitted, her hand resting on Jack’s back as he slept happily against her chest. Chris’ eyes dropped to the baby, shaking his head again as he saw the turkey-covered onesie he was wearing…. Courtesy of his Auntie Nat. “This little thing will be a year old by next Thanksgiving.” 

But Nat spoke up from next to Chris with a shake of her head, decisively telling everyone, “No, I decided that Jack is going to just stay a baby forever. I’m not going to let him grow up.” 

Chris laughed quietly, looking at her with an amused expression while Eric informed her, “I tried that with you and it didn’t work too well.” 

“Speaking of next year though, what are you going to be doing then, Nattie?” Heather asked curiously, leaning forward. “When is Lightyear done?” 

“Well I’m on Lightyear a little longer than I have been in the past because I’m the lead designer for Buzz so I’ll see it through the whole way,” Nat explained with a shrug. Chris listened to her with a faint smile, so proud of what she’d already done on the film and what he knew was only coming in the next few months. He wasn’t excited about the film for any selfish reasons, like finally getting to work with Pixar on a beloved franchise, but instead he was most excited to see what all Nat’s hard work – along with Mark, Jamie, and everyone else he’d met at Pixar – was leading to. “I’m officially done in Lightyear around February or March and then I actually don’t know what I’ll be doing. There’s a few things in the works but I haven’t been assigned to any yet.” 

His voice was quiet as he curiously asked her, “Is there anything you’re hoping to work on, baby?” 

Nat shrugged, thinking over his question for a moment. “I mean, I always like to work on things with Mark and Jamie,” she began with a smile. 

“Your work husbands,” Alex amended with a smirk.

“Yeah I like when we’re all working on the same project because it gives us an excuse to hang out all day at work,” she smiled fondly at the thought of her two best friends that Chris knew were more like family to her than anything else. Nat pushed a stray curl out of her face and tucked it behind her ear before shrugging, “But honestly, I’m not sure. I’ve liked getting to be the lead designer for Buzz but it’s been so grueling so I think it’d be nice to have something a little bit lower pressure but we’ll see.” 

Chris saw the way that Alex smiled as she first looked at him before her eyes settled on her younger sister, “Yeah especially because I have a feeling you’ll be busy traveling to Boston more often.” 

And just the thought of that had Chris’ heart warming. Entertaining the idea of Nat coming back to Boston and spending moments just like this but with his family was enough to have him melting inside, selfishly just wanting Nat every moment of every day and he turned his head to look at Nat smiling softly at him while he honestly spoke, “I like the sound of that.” 

“I want to go back soon,” he heard her sweet voice while his thumb rubbed softly against her shoulder as Nat told her family, “We had a really good time.” 

Unable to stop himself from bragging about the woman he was so wildly in love with, he looked around the table and asked,“Did Nat tell you guys what a splash she made at my friend Tara’s halloween party?” 

“She just sent us a picture of her dressed like a guy and you half naked,” Heather shrugged as if it was commonplace, making the table start to laugh. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a curly head move forward as Nat leaned against the table, putting a hand up next to her mouth as she mockingly whispered, “He just used Halloween as an excuse to show off his body.” 

But Chris felt a smirk cross his lips, knowing that he had a comeback to her statement, reminding Nat, “And you used it to have a mustache.”   

“Yeah how does it feel to know what your girlfriend looks like with a mustache, Chris?” Ryan couldn’t help but laugh as he sat back in his chair, amusement dancing all over his face. 

Jokingly, Chris held a hand out, pulling the family’s attention to him while he managed to keep a serious tone while he teased, “Hey, I thought we agreed not to talk about it? Nat’s insecure about her mustache.” 

With a roll of her eyes and a playful shove to his chest, Nat rebutted, “A minute ago you were ready to sing my praises about your friends liking me so how did the conversation shift to this?” 

“Well when you dress up with a mustache for Halloween, the material kind of presents itself,” he insisted while a round of laughter passed over the table. But as much as he loved teasing Nat, adoring the way she’d shoot those quick remarks right back at him, he wanted to take a moment to tell her family that she loved so deeply just what a splash she’d made in Boston over the one weekend she’d been there. He wanted to tell them about all the texts he’d received, telling him how great all of his friends thought she was.  He wanted to tell them how his sisters had told him that he better not fuck this one up. He wanted to tell them how his mom had tears in her eyes when she told him just how special she thought Nat was and how she was so emotional over seeing the deep love they shared, but in the larger group, he decided to sum it up with, “But seriously though, I’m sure you all won’t be surprised that everyone instantly fell in love with her.” 

With a soft hum right before Eric took a sip of his wine, he finished his drink and commented, “Doesn’t surprise me at all.” 

Chris couldn’t help but lean over to press a soft kiss to Nat’s blushing cheek, just needing to express wordlessly how much he loved her, but once he was sitting upright in his chair, he let a hand fall to her thigh and gave it a soft squeeze while adding with a playful smile, “Although everyone said they loved that she was good at busting my chops so maybe I don’t love that as much.” 

“You love it and you know it,” she quipped right back, completely unfazed by him as she smirked, “You wouldn’t know what to do with me if I was just nice to you all the time.” 

Nodding in agreement before sipping at his beer, he conceded, “It would be a shame to waste all that sarcasm you have stored up,” 

“I’m the youngest, it comes natural.” 

Just as Chris opened his mouth to spar right back, Heather walked in from the kitchen holding a bottle of wine and called out, “Hey muscles, come open this for me,” but when her husband Ryan started to stand up, they all saw her hold up her hand and clarify, “I meant Chris.” 

“Wow, I got replaced so easily,” Ryan just rolled his eyes while sitting back down as Chris stood up and held his hand out to take the bottle of wine that she had and then sat back down next to Nat. 

Heather just shrugged, “Sorry but when I have the choice between you or Captain America, I’m not picking you.” 

As if in cue, Chris tugged at the stuck cork, struggling to get it out before accidentally using a little too much force and causing the cork to crumble in the neck of the bottle.

“Look what picking Chris got you,” Ryan immediately pointed out, a shit-eating grin on his lips. 

Over everyone’s laughter, Zach leaned back in his seat, his eyes far less soft than they’d been as he stared at Jack only moments ago. “Yeah way to go, Evans,” he added. 

Chris held his hands up innocently while Heather began digging around in drawers, finally emerging once she found a small strainer. “In my defense, I normally drink beer!” Chris tried to defend himself, taking the bottle in hand as he and Heather tried to get the rest of the cork out before they strained the wine. 

He caught Nat’s eyes with a slightly guilty look on his face while she shook her head with a smirk. “Wine and him don’t mix well,” she began, and Chris’ cheeks warmed as he realized what she was insinuating. “Last time I had wine with Chris, he almost knocked my teeth out and spilled red wine on my white sweater.” 

“You’re never going to let me live that down are you?” He asked as he rolled his eyes, listening to Heather as she asked him to start pouring the wine into the glasses through the strainer she held.

“Will you ever let me live down locking myself in my apartment?” Nat incredulously asked, her voice raised as he smirked down at the counter while pouring the wine for everyone. 

He glanced up through his lashes and across the room at her, informing her, “Oh definitely not.” 

“Wait hold on, Nat you locked yourself in your apartment?” Ryan asked, a befuddled look on his face.Chris nodded while he and Heather grabbed the wine glasses, carrying them to the table and handing them to everyone. 

“Yeah and I had to climb in her fucking window on the second floor to help her get it unlocked!” Chris laughed as he sat down next to Nat, his voice booming and amused. 

But his language didn’t go unnoticed as Ella’s head bounced up from where the kids were in the other room across the open living space, her eyes narrowing as she called, “That’s a bad word, Chris.” 

As everyone laughed and Chris acknowledged that the eight-year-old was right, he apologized to her. Everyone else was preoccupied with listening to Carson as he slid into the dining area, rambling about some minor disagreement between himself and Ella with a pout on his face when Nat’s hand landed on Chris’ arm. “She’s right,” she whispered, Chris straining to hear her over the laughter and reassurances to Carson. “You better clean up that potty mouth of yours.” 

Chris arched a single eyebrow at Nat, moving his arm so he could grasp her hand as he murmured, “Really? I was under the impression you liked it.” 

“Yeah but you better save it just for me,” she shrugged, taking a long sip of her wine with a slight smirk on her face. 

Once Carson’s plea for justice had gone unfulfilled, he went back to playing with his cousins without another word. Zach turned to Chris and Nat, telling them, “Okay Evans, I want to hear this story.” 

He was more than happy to delve into the story of Nat being locked in her apartment, sparring no detail as he retold everything from Scott having to lift him up to telling all the items Nat had tried to shove into the lock to get it unstuck. The family was all howling as he comically told the story, none of them being surprised by the crazy situations that would constantly befall the youngest member of the nuclear family. But as he kept talking and watched everyone laughing, Chris couldn’t help but just let it sink in how good this felt. How good it felt to be in this family as Nat’s partner, feeling as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 

Chris had dreamt of having a family of his own for a long time. He wasn’t shy about saying that he wanted a wife and kids and had known that for a long time. Deep down he knew that although he had yearned for it, he hadn’t really done a lot to make it happen. He wouldn’t lie, he liked his freedom and being able to do what he wanted, say yes to any project that interested him, and just go straight home to Boston any chance he got. But somehow with Nat, it just didn’t feel hard. In fact, saying no to things or spending time away from home felt easy, as long as he was with her. 

Those feelings were still swirling in his chest as they stayed seated around the table, laughing and talking before the dessert, apparently something their late mother had been famous for making, was brought out and dispersed around the table. Once all the plates were empty and the evening growing later, everyone started to disperse from the table, Alex going to change Jack, Eric being pulled into the living room by Carson to help move his train tracks, Ryan taking out all the garbage while everyone else started stacking plates and taking them into the kitchen to get cleaned up. 

Zach was loading the dishwasher while Nat turned on the hot water to fill up the sink, ready to scrub the more delicate glassware as Chris stood next to her, prepared to dry each one. She had just added the soap in when Lily wandered into the kitchen as the adults moved around to clean up. Chris watched as she lingered by Heather who was folding the placemats to put away but then saw the little girl turn to come over to Nat, wrapping her arms around Nat’s legs as she leaned against her. 

“Auntie, will you come paint with me and Ella?” She asked, her voice more confident and secure than Chris had ever heard it. 

Nat smiled down at the little girl but then nodded towards the sink and picked up a wine glass in her hand. “I will as soon as I’m done with these dishes,” she promised Lily. 

“Auntie Nat! I need your help!” Ella’s loud voice carried through the open space. Chris couldn’t help but chuckle at the smile on Nat’s face and the way Heather rolled her eyes, but as Nat got to the task at hand, he grabbed a dish towel. 

“I’ll be there in a little while Ella!” Nat yelled back, just as Lily went back into the living room. 

“But I don’t know what colors make green!” 

“Mix the blue and the yellow,” Nat instructed, handing Chris the first of the glasses, then quickly amended, “But only use a little bit of blue!” 

Ella was quiet for a moment until her voice yelled back, “Blue and what?” 

With a soft laugh and a nod toward the living room, Chris suggested, “Nattie, why don’t you just go with the kids and I’ll do this.” 

“No, it won’t take long,” she shook her head, hands deep in the soapy water. 

“Baby… just go,” Chris told her, tapping her hip with his hand and nodding his head towards the living room. “I’ve got this.” 

He could see the reluctance in her eyes but when he pointed out how few glasses there were and assured her it wouldn’t take him more than a few minutes, she eventually conceded and rinsed her hands off before going out to fold her frame into the tiny child sized table where Ella and Lily had their paints all spread out. 

Chris meticulously began working on cleaning each and every glass before stacking them on the drying rack. But with each turn of his head, he caught a glimpse of that gorgeous smile that belonged to his Nattie as painted with her two nieces. His blue eyes lingered on the way that each of the girls got up to lean against Nat’s sides as she wielded the paint brush and showed them a specific technique, making their eyes grow wide in amazement before scurrying back to their seats to eagerly try it on their own. He felt his heart melting as they completed what she’d shown them, proudly pointing at their artwork as they looked at Nat for her approval which she poured over them with her praise, noting each thing that she was proud of them for doing on their artwork. 

But when Lily moved over, climbing in Nat’s lap, he knew he was an absolute goner. He didn’t even pay attention to the water running as his eyes stayed fixed on Nat who rested her chin on Lily’s tiny shoulder, their faces resting together as Lily painted. Nat chatted with the two girls while they both worked but he saw Nat’s arms come to wrap around Lily’s waist, holding the little girl on her lap and in a need for affection, Lily moved her hand up to rest on Nat’s cheek, just wanting that soft touch but seemed to forget that she had that paintbrush in her hand, leaving a big streak of red right next to Nat’s eyebrow. 

He saw the look on Lily’s face, eyes wide in embarrassment while Ella watched on with eyes just as wide, knowing they were supposed to be careful with their paint and instead had accidentally started painting their aunt. But he saw the tension instantly diffused on the kids face when Nat just burst into laughter before taking the paintbrush to put down on the table before playfully teasing Lily as she tickled the little girl, her laughter and squeals filling the room as Ella tried to jump in on the merriment. Chris swore he could practically see the deep love shared between them all but it was the other thought that stirred in his heart that had tears starting to sting a bit in his eyes. 

Chris pictured this being them one day. The girl in Nat’s arms being their own daughter with his pale skin and her wild curls and magnetic personality who was giggling as her mother played with her. He couldn’t wait for the day when he’d get to go out to their living room and find this same scene and hear their daughter squeal, “Daddy, help me!” and invite him to join in on the fun. Chris felt like it was right there, at the tip of his fingers, and although he knew that although that moment likely wouldn’t come for a few more years, he wanted it more than he could even fathom and couldn’t hardly wait for that day to come. 

November 26th, 2021

Nat’s brows furrowed as she surveyed the various snack options in Heather’s pantry, trying to decide between pretzels, chips, or popcorn. She could hear her sisters’ laughter from behind her as they queued up the latest episode of their favorite franchise of Real Housewives, but she emerged victorious with a bag of popcorn in hand, turning to head back to the couch. 

Just as she stepped around the kitchen island and into the living room, Alex looked up at her and told her younger sister, “Nat, your phone is buzzing.” 

“Can you hand it to me?” She asked, sitting down on the couch with a sigh. The relative silence in Heather’s home was well welcomed after the last six days of chaos, but with Chris’ departure early that morning – as he slipped out of her bed early that morning, only waking Nat just enough to kiss her and tell her that he loved her before he and Ryan headed out to meet his chartered flight. The rest of the day, once she’d actually woken up, had been lazy and quiet, only more so now as the sisters headed to Heather’s home a few miles away from Eric’s to spend a night alone together for the first time in what felt like years. Meanwhile, Eric, Ryan, and Zach had a night of their own – only with the kids and a newborn in tow – as they watched a hockey game. As Alex glanced down at Nat’s phone screen, Nat told her, “Or just tell me who it is.” 

Heather rolled her eyes as she sat at the opposite end of the couch, a glass of white wine in her hand. “I think we already know it’s Chris,” she reminded Nat.

“You don’t know that,” Nat sighed, but couldn’t help but feel her heart skip a beat at the insinuation as Alex handed her phone over. 

“I think I do,” Heather laughed, quietening as Nat read the message just as the show started. “Who is it then?” 

“...Well… it’s Chris,” she conceded, but the smile on her lips only grew as the show got ignored in favor of Chris. She enlarged the image he sent, turning her phone so her sisters could see. “Look, he sent me a picture of the fireworks at Magic Kingdom! I’m going to tell him that this feels like he’s rubbing it in though, it’s not fair he’s at Disney and I’m not.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t go with him,” Heather murmured, her brows furrowed as she met Nat’s eyes after looking at the picture. “Did he not invite you because it’s his whole family going?” 

“No, he wanted me to go but we decided it might be better if I don’t,” Nat explained, shrugging a bit as she typed out a reply and locked her phone again, reaching for the bag of popcorn. “Chris always has someone recognizing him and taking his picture at Disney World so since we’re still keeping things private, we thought it’d be better if I didn’t go.” 

“I’m kind of surprised people recognize him out of context,” Alex commented as she reached across to dig her hand into the bag of popcorn to toss it in her mouth. “Like I mean, I get Chris is good looking and all that but when he has a hat and a sweatshirt on, I’m surprised people can pick him out of a crowd.” 

With a simple shrug, Heather added, “Well obviously they can because they certainly did on Sunday at the game when that guy tweeted the picture of Chris getting beers in the concourse,” 

“See, that’s what I mean,” Alex pointed out through her mouthful of popcorn, swallowing before commenting, "I'm surprised that people can know it’s him when he’s just at like a regular thing.” 

“They do, and Chris hates it,” Nat muttered, picking a string off of her sweatpants, knowing just how much Chris hated that he couldn’t have a regular life but it was an unavoidable fact and Nat explained, “But it’s just part of his life, unfortunately.” 

Heather and Alex were quiet for a moment and Nat had turned her attention back to the women arguing on the television, but before her full attention was captured, Heather quietly asked, “...Are you okay with that?” 

Nat shrugged, feeling a defensive flare inside of her as she took a long sip from her wine before she reminded them, “It’s not like I have a choice.” 

“Nat… you do have a choice,” Alex disagreed, reaching for the remote before she paused the show. She and Heather turned to face Nat fully, concern on their faces as Alex added, “I mean, are you okay with all of this? Are you okay with living that kind of a life with Chris knowing what it is going to entail?”

Nat nearly shrunk under her sisters’ stares, unsure what caused the sudden concern from them. As her eyes moved down to her lap, she thought over their words – about if it was fair to her to get excluded for fear of their privacy being invaded, for having to live so privately to protect this new relationship between them. In doing so, she found herself going back to what she and Chris had begun calling their ‘bubble’ – where they had privacy, they got to be themselves, all without fear of being shared online for millions to see and critique. All along, they’d both shared that they never wanted to leave that safe space, but Nat suddenly realized that this hiding and secrecy would never stop if that was the case. Being with Chris felt easy in some ways and incredibly challenging in others, but in order to have every bit of each other, one day – maybe even soon – that bubble would need to not exist anymore. They couldn’t be all in without not fearing what may happen if they were seen together, and the hyperfixation on his, and eventually her life would never go away, but that was okay. Because as long as they had each other and trusted that at the end of the day, the only voices that mattered were their own, it’d be worth it. 

“Look, Nattie don’t get me wrong, we all love Chris. Spending time with him this week has really made all of us see how great he is and let us see how much you both love each other,” Heather began, interrupting Nat’s realization and drawing her attention back to her sisters. They were looking at her with the same concerned looks, but Heather’s eyes were worried and protective as she explained, “But I love you and I just want to make sure that you know what you’re getting into with this. There’s a lot more involved in this relationship than normal.” 

“We’re here for you every step of the way, Nattie, but I think it’s something you do need to think about,” Alex told her, a sympathetic smile on her face. Nat knew this wasn’t a ‘We’re your older sisters and have been through this before’ talk, but more ‘We’re worried about what toll this may take on you’ one, and a lump at her throat formed at that realization. “Because if you can’t handle it, it’s probably better to know that now both for your sake and Chris’.” 

“It’s just so hard,” Nat admitted while tilting her head back to rest against the couch, tears stinging at her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat as she poured out her heart to her sisters, “When we’re together here or in Boston, or even when we’re at his house in LA or my apartment, it feels so normal and so… right. But then I mention that I’m going to Disneyland with Mark and Jamie after work and remember that he can’t go. Or when we go out to dinner and he asks for a table in the back. Or we take Dodger for a walk and I see him looking at everyone with a phone out to see if they’re taking pictures.” 

“I know it’s hard, Nat,” Heather sympathized, reaching out to put a hand on Nat’s leg comfortingly, “And I think it’s something none of us truly understand just what it’s like.” 

“...Do you guys think that I shouldn’t be with him?” she wanted to know, wondering if there was something she was missing. Heather and Alex had been more than just sisters to her for her entire life, having stepped in and filled some of the role of a mother to her. She knew how deeply they loved her and only wanted the best for her, making her want to hear their advice and Nat asked,  “Do you think it won’t work out?” 

“That’s really not for us to answer, Nat,” Heather reminded with a shake of her head but then tried to clarify, “And I don’t want this to sound like we’re trying to sway you to break up with him either. These are just facts that we want to bring up because we love you and don’t want to see you get hurt not even by Chris, but just by the lifestyle he comes with.” 

Nat’s voice was full of emotion and she used the sleeve of her sweatshirt to wipe away the tears slipping out of her eyes as she honestly said, “I just love him so much.” 

“We know you do, Nattie,” Alex smiled at her little sister, knowing just how happy they’d see Nat during her time with Chris and was honest when she said, “And seeing you two together makes us all so happy.” 

“It really does,” her eldest sister nodded. Nat looked at them through her teary eyes, Heather reaching over to squeeze her hand,  “We completely see how much you guys do love each other and Chris really, really is amazing.” 

Nodding in agreement, Alex continued, “He absolutely is and he’s so right for you. We just are concerned about the toll the things that come with him might take on you.” 

“If I’m being totally honest, I’m a little worried about it too…” Nat trailed off with a sigh. She’d be lying if she said that she’d never thought about it before, wondering what it really would be like if everyone knew they were dating. Wondering what would blow up online and wondering if she could truly handle it when it came down to it. 

“We know how much you both love each other but I think the question we just want you to think about is if it’s enough. Is being with Chris worth everything that comes with him,” Heather tried to clarify. 

Alex nodded as she looked between them both, pulling the blanket up farther, “We’re not trying to say that it isn’t, we just want to protect you and make sure you go into all of this with open eyes.” 

“No, I know you guys are and it means a lot to me,” she told them, giving them a tiny, emotional smile as she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. With a shuddering sigh, she added, “I love you both so much.” 

Heather smiled as she looked at Nat, squeezing her hand again and assuring her, “And we love you.” 

“And we support you in any decision you make, always,” Alex interjected, trying to quell any lingering doubts in Nat’s mind as a sheepish look landed on the middle sister’s face. “We’re not trying to push you to make a big decision either, we just want you to think on it.” 

Just as Nat began to respond to her sisters, her phone started to vibrate furiously in her lap. When she flipped it over, she was able to see Chris’ name across the top of the screen, just over his contact picture of him, from several months ago, flipping her off with a smirk on his face as he cooked them breakfast back in Los Angeles. 

With a short apology and explanation to her sisters, she slipped into Ella and Lily’s playroom, shutting the door behind her as she answered his call. She wasn’t surprised to see him in his hotel room given the late hour on the East Coast, but the dopey grin on his face as he saw her made her heart race. 

“Just so you know, I’m not forgiving you for rubbing the fireworks in my face,” she laughed, her smile only growing as his own laughter echoed through the phone loudly. 

He smirked, shrugging as he reminded her, “Well you wouldn’t have forgiven me if I didn’t send you a picture either.” 

But before Nat could even think of a comeback, she heard a groan from Chris’ side of the call and before long, Scott’s raspy voice called out, “Don’t forgive him for anything, Nattie. He’s an ass.” 

She smirked to herself as she saw a frown instantly appear on Chris’ face as he rolled his eyes, asking his brother, “Don’t you have your own room?” 

“We were going to watch a movie!” The loud protest echoed through the phone. 

“Well now I’m talking to Nat!” Chris shot back, waving a hand behind him at the door to the hotel room as he plopped down on his bed with a tired sigh. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know I get the shaft when Nattie’s around,” she couldn’t help but laugh at Scott’s protests. 

“Lucky for you, Chris decided to ditch me and not bring me to Disney World,” Nat said a little louder as she propped her elbow on her knee to hold up her phone so she could see her screen easier. 

“I didn’t ditch you! We talked about it!” he loudly protested with an amused grin on his bearded face. 

“No, I’m pretty sure you ditched me,” Nat smiled, the emotional turmoil that she felt only moments earlier now completely washed away as she looked at his gorgeous face. 

Nat couldn’t help but laugh at the over dramatic eye roll and look on Chris’ face once again, but as Scott yelled out a goodbye and left Chris’ room – “Finally,” as Chris muttered – and they caught up on each other’s days, she found herself latching onto that feeling he gave her once again. The feeling that with every microexpression and comment, she relaxed more and more and felt more at ease than she did with anyone else. She knew she still had a lot to learn about Chris’ life and world, and she’d yet to fully know what it’d be like if they did go public, but the only thought in her mind as she looked at him, smiling and laughing as he recounted a story from their day at Magic Kingdom, was that this man was worth any ounce of stress anyone else tried to place on her. 

Once Chris’ yawns grew more frequent and his laughter quieted down, they said goodnight to each other and he promised to call around the same time the next night. She knew there was a giddy look on her face as she left the playroom and headed back into the living room, but Alex and Heather paid her no mind as they restarted the episode, handing Nat a fresh glass of wine and shifting the blanket back to cover her lap. 

As the show went to a commercial break and Alex reached for the remote to fast forward, Nat’s voice quietly admitted to them, “...He’s really really worth it.” 

A/N: We hope you enjoyed a glimpse into their Thanksgiving with the Martons! We truly enjoyed writing it and cannot wait to hear your thoughts ❤️

[kk095]

Casey’s Traumatic Arrest

Casey Mullins was a 34 year old woman with wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, and a nice tan. The cute southern girl stood at 5’5 with a slim to average build, and had a conventionally attractive appearance. Casey had a husband Ryan, a 2 year old son Tyler, worked as a dental hygienist at an office downtown, and by all accounts appeared to have a normal, happy life.

A few nights ago, Casey left work at 6pm as always, and headed into the parking garage across the street. After entering the garage, a man in a dark colored jacked followed Casey to her car and attempted to rob+carjack her at knifepoint. She attempted to reach for a canister of pepper spray attached to her keyring to try and subdue the attacker, but the man panicked and quickly stabbed Casey 3 times- once in the neck, and twice in the chest. Casey’s eyes opened up wide, and she yelped in pain. She took a few desperate gasps while her eyes rolled back a bit, then collapsed to the ground. Casey now laid on the ground next to her car, semi conscious in a pool of her own blood. “shitshitshit! I didn’t mean to kill this bitch!” the attacker said to himself in a frantic, stressed tone, never expecting his crime to escalate to this extent. The attacker tossed the bloody knife into a nearby dumpster, and made a beeline for the staircase, leaving Casey for dead.

Several minutes later, a person heading back to their car from one of the other downtown offices were horrified by the sight of Casey bleeding out in the garage, and called 911. “911, what is your emergency?” a female voice asked. “there’s a woman covered in blood in the parking garage! I think she might be dead!” the caller replied nervously. “ma’am, I need you to remain calm for me. Can you tell me the location of your emergency?” the dispatcher replied calmly. “I’m in the parking garage on the corner of 21st and Atlantic! Send someone now! I think she’s dead!” the panicked caller shouted into the phone. “I have people on the way now. Can you tell me if the woman is breathing?” the dispatcher asked, trying to acquire more information for the incoming responders. The caller slowly approaches Casey’s bloody, unconscious body and takes a look at her torso. Casey’s chest was rising and falling slowly, so she was in fact breathing. “yes! Yes, she’s breathing! You guys gotta hurry!” the caller shouts into the phone. “alright ma’am, I have units on the way, they should be there any moment now. I need you to remain on the line for me please.” The dispatcher replied.

First on the scene was a cop in the area. It was officer Natalie- a cute, Hispanic, 30-something tomboy. Officer Natalie approaches Casey and takes a look at her. “those definitely look like knife wounds.” Natalie says to herself. “did you see anything miss? Do you know who did this?” Natalie turns her attention, asking the caller. “No! I just found her like this!” the caller replies. “alright. You can hang up the phone. Let’s step to the side for a minute and I’ll get your statement. I’m sure you’ve been through a lot this evening.” Natalie replies to the visibly shaken up young lady.

Finally, EMS shows up- the medics on scene that night were Tracy, a cute blonde 30 something tomboy, and Stephanie, a tall, thin, 20-something brunette in a messy bun. The two park the ambulance and scurry over to Casey. Tracy gloved up and places 2 fingers on Casey’s neck on the opposite side of the stab wound to take a carotid pulse. “pulse is weak and thready, and I can see she’s breathing.” Tracy says. Stephanie pulls out a pair of shears and begins cutting off Casey’s scrub top which was absolutely drenched in blood at that point. Casey’s black sports bra was then snipped off, exposing her perky b-cup breasts. While Stephanie continued stripping Casey down to just her underwear, Tracy set up 2 large bore IVs and then set up a 5 lead EKG with a portable heart monitor. “BP’s 50/palp, heart rate’s in the toilet. Let’s hang a bag of fluids wide open and get her intubated.” Tracy called out. Stephanie began setting up the IV bags while Tracy picked up a laryngoscope and a 7.5 ET tube. Tracy navigated the tube into Casey’s airway, but ran into some resistance. Tracy repositioned the tube and continued advancing it. However, the distal end of the tube ended up protruding from the open wound in Casey’s neck. “tracheal avulsion. I think you need to trach her.” Stephanie suggests to Tracy. “Yeah, the trachea is split wide open just before I get to the carina.” Tracy replied in agreement.

At that point it was decided a tracheotomy would be performed in the field. Tracy is handed the surgical airway kit while Stephanie wiped off Casey’s neck with an alcohol wipe. Tracy made a horizontal incision through the skin that was about 1.5 centimeters. The tissue underneath was bluntly dissected and the thyroid was identified so they knew to avoid it. Next, Tracy punctured through the 1st and 2nd tracheal ring with a needle, and was met with a slight hissing sound of trapped air exiting the area. Next, Tracy decided to use a guide wire to keep the trachea partially inflated/expanded to make the insertion of the breathing tube easier. Generally, the trachea and esophagus tend to collapse in on themselves when compromised via injury, and that can make intubation and NG tube insertion more difficult. Next up, the tube was navigated into Casey’s trachea, and into the correct place. Once the tube was in the correct place, the guide wire was carefully removed, and a cuff was placed on Casey’s neck to hold the tube in place.

After the difficult intubation was complete, Casey was placed on a backboard and onto a gurney, and taken into a nearby ambulance for transport. During transport, Stephanie did the driving, and Tracy was in the back taking care of the cute blonde victim. The ambulance sped down the road, lights and sirens blaring, trying to get Casey to the ER as soon as humanly possible. Tracy and Stephanie were doing everything right, but Casey’s condition started to deteriorate further. “shit, no pulse. PEA. Starting compressions.” Tracy called out, shaking her head. She placed her gloved hands on Casey’s chest and began delivering deep, strong chest compressions. Her chest caved in and her belly bounced outward from the brute force of the compressions she was receiving. “1… 2… 3… come on, don’t let that SOB win…” Tracy said, as if she was convincing Casey to not die. “what’s our ETA Steph?” Tracy asked. “gimme 2 minutes. We’re almost there!” Stephanie replied. Tracy performed a cycle of 1 handed chest compressions for a moment while injecting epinephrine and atropine into Casey’s IV line. “got a dose of meds in.” Tracy called out to Stephanie.

Upon arrival at the emergency department, Casey was still in full cardiac arrest. Tracy got on the gurney and straddled Casey, delivering strong, vigorous compressions, while Stephanie wheeled the gurney into the trauma room where Dr Lindsay, nurse Nancy, and nurse Heather waited. “34 year old female, multiple stab wounds to neck and chest. Tracheotomy on scene, lost a pulse en route. Down 2 minutes, epi and atropine x1” Stephanie said, giving the trauma team the rundown of the case. Tracy hopped off the gurney but continued compressions for a moment before Casey got transferred onto the table underneath the large overhead light.

Once on the table, Heather resumed CPR and Tracy stuck around and provided some ambu bagging. “start her on the MTP. I need 4 units of unmatched o-neg, 2 of platelets, 2 of FFP. I think we need a right chest tube as well, so let’s get a chest tube tray set up.” Dr Lindsay ordered, taking control of the hectic situation. Nurse Nancy began scurrying around the room gathering the necessary equipment for Lindsay. The doctor lowered her stethoscope onto Casey’s bare chest and listened to her lung sounds. “ok, no breath sounds present on the right side. That knife probably nicked her lung. I’m gonna need that chest tube tray.” Lindsay called out. Nancy quickly set up the chest tube tray for Lindsay, and she promptly began the procedure. Blood shot out of the tube and onto Lindsay’s yellow trauma gown once it was placed. “what a mess…” Lindsay said, taking a look at her trauma gown. “yeah… you should see how bad that parking garage looks. Whatever that knife hit, it was something major.” Medic Stephanie added, who was watching the trauma code on the other side of the room.

A second dose of epinephrine and atropine were pushed into Casey’s IV line, but PEA turned into an agonal rhythm, then agonal to asystole over the coming minutes. “thoracotomy tray. I need to see what’s going on in there. Nothing’s working.” Dr Lindsay says decisively, knowing the cute blonde was running out of time.

Betadine was splashed onto Casey’s chest, staining it an orangey-brown hue. Lindsay asks for a scalpel, and elects to access Casey’s thoracic cavity via a clamshell thoracotomy. Lindsay made a cut in between the 4th and 5th rib on each side of Casey’s chest, then connected the incision in the center of the chest near the sternum. Lindsay made a deep cut, already slicing through the underlying fat and subcutaneous tissue, so the only thing that needed to be incised was the intercostal muscle between the ribs. Lindsay cuts the muscle and gets a decent opening, then reaches her hand into the cut to move the lung out of the way to make room for the spreader. Next, Lindsay divides the sternum horizontally with a gigli saw as fast as she can. With the sternum finally divided, the rib spreader was placed into the cut, and Casey’s chest was pried open.

Once Casey’s chest was opened, Lindsay placed vascular clamps on the descending aorta near her diaphragm, and on the right pulmonary hilum. Lindsay wasn’t sure if there was tamponade or not, so she felt Casey’s motionless heart for a moment. It felt very tense and rigid, but was still unsure, so she incised the fibrous lining of the heart. Thick, gooey blood immediately exited, and Casey’s motionless heart began to twitch frantically now that there was some space for it to move a little. “she’s in v-fib. Charge the paddles to 20.” Lindsay called out. The large, spoon shaped paddles were handed to Lindsay, and the first shock was delivered. A dull, wet thump was heard, and Casey’s torso flopped quickly in response. “no change, charge to 30.” Lindsay called out, shaking her head.

The internal paddles were placed around Casey’s weakly twitching heart, and shock #2 was delivered. Her body jolted sharply in response, but v-fib was still on the monitors. “nothing. Let’s hit her again at 30. Everyone…. Clear!” Dr Lindsay shouted. The electricity ran through Casey’s dying body, causing her toes to scrunch at the other end of the table, showing of the cute, silky wrinkles throughout the soles of her size 9 feet, as well as the fresh pedicure on her toes. “still nothing. Push epi and atropine, resuming internal compressions.” Dr Lindsay called out, reaching her hands into Casey’s exposed chest cavity. Lindsay could feel Casey’s heart fidgeting around in her hands, but it was very weak at best. Lindsay vigorously massaged Casey’s heart for a bit. “5…6…7…8… still v-fib…” Lindsay counted out loud, looking at the heart monitors.

Dr Lindsay and the trauma team shocked Casey 5 more times, maxed her out on drugs, and coded her for another 15 minutes, but unfortunately, Casey passed away in the emergency department, with her time of death being called at 7:04pm while she was still in v-fib.

The ambu bag was detached from the tracheotomy tube, the chirping, beeping monitors were shut off, and the EKG electrodes were removed from her chest. The remaining equipment was being removed when officer Natalie showed up. “hey trace, hey Steph. How’d our stabbing victim do? Can I get a statement?” Tracy pulled back the curtain to the trauma room to show officer Natalie that basic postmortem care had started on Casey. “damn it. What a shame. I was going through her belongings and it looks like she’s got a husband and a 2 year old at home.” Officer Natalie says, shaking her head, a bit upset over the senseless murder. “did you get the guy that did it?” Tracy asked. “we got him on camera, but nothing yet. Looks like he dumped a knife in one of the dumpsters, so CSI is gonna try to find that and get some prints.” Natalie replied.

At this point, the police are still investigating Casey’s murder. We ask that you keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers, and respect their privacy at this time.

[a-gassy-antelope]

Miscellaneous Tag Game

Made by the one and only @ronald-speirs <3

Thank you for the tag @grumpy-liebgott ! Am I finally doing this after being tagged almost a month ago?....maybe

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

I haven't been many places truthfully. I loved hiking near Niagara Falls and also hiking in the Smokies near Gatlinburg. (I'm going to Alaska later this year so that will likely take the cake for me!)

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

Working 3 jobs while also caring for a terminally ill parent. Not to get too sad, but yeah, that was a time.

Favorite books?

Oof, gonna age myself with this. The Harry Potter will always hold a special place in my heart even though it has aged terribly. Because I am Furniture by Thalia Chatlas made a big impact on me as a teenager. One Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest by Ken Kasey is a favorite classic. Recently Dead Inside by Chandler Morrison kept me very entertained with pure shock value (although I just finished The Slob last night and it by far takes the cake for the most disgusting thing I've ever read)

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

When I think about the people I choose to surround myself with. I am a very open person with those I love. Once someone is in my inner circle I am a no boundary kinda person. Let's cut the small talk and bare all our trauma and then tease each other about it. Let's rot on the sofa together. It makes my heart happy to know that I have people I can be like this with.

Favorite thing about your culture?

...what culture... I could say there's a certain culture of the American Midwest that i love. Mainly the 'midwest goodbye' where you stand in the front door chatting for way too long, then in the driveway then in your car with the window rolled down. Also, ever had a midwestern dessert salad?????

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

Well, my brother is older than me and he was very much ww2 obsessed. So watched Band of Brothers way younger than I probably should've. Probably when I was like 8? When I got into my career there was this song at work that would play and it felt so oddly nostalgic until one day I realized it sounded the intro credit music for Band of Brothers. Then it was put on Netflix and it was all down hill from there. Very different to watch again as an adult vs what I remembered from my childhood.

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

I just finished Dick Winters' memoir not that long ago! I think I'll read Shifty's next!

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

Everyone in b.o.b is my precious baby. See that generic white man? Yep, thats my child. Honestly though there are certain quotes from various characters that just scratches my brain. Buck with: "Your ass?!" Webster with: "You ignorant, servile scum! What the fuck are we doing here?" and the cadence in which he says "Don't salute the Germans!" Liebgott with "Hershey Bar!" Winters with: "What's that? A piece of paper? I dont wanna see another piece of paper" and Speirs with: "You talk to an officer you say 'sir' " (totally not because it made me feel some type of way)

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

I have made Band of Brothers stuff here on tumblr, classic text post as memes. Ao3 I've made Band of Brothers, Star Wars and My Hero Academia content!

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

hm....that's hard to pick a favorite. Meryl Streep is always delightful, as is Gillian Anderson. Natalie Portman? Keira Knightly? ok, ok, maybe I should list a man...James McAvoy. Jack Nicholson. I dunno, I don't like picking favorites.

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

"I paint self portraits because I am so often alone...Because I am the person I know best." This Frido Kahlo quote really sticks with me because I feel like I can relate to being isolated and enjoying spending so much time on my own. I am my best companion and draw from my own experiences and emotions.

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

I am a licensed massage therapist and I work with patients with chronic pain and injuries. I love my job and my patients even though it is a very draining profession.

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

I am a writer! I want to say that I'm open to beta readers but I am also simultaneously afraid of others reading my work and embarrassed that people might not like it. That being said, I am working on a multi part Winnix fic rn.

Three things that make you smile?

My pets: a cat, 2 snakes, 2 leopard geckos and a pink tongue skink

Sweet gestures from my partner (or their dumbass jokes)

Writing!

Any nicknames you like?

Instead of Alex, a friend once called me Al Pal and I'm bewildered that it took me over 20 years to ever hear that.

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

Uhm, everyone???? I love seeing people share whatever they're passionate about or find cute and funny. I love when people love things unapologetically! @grumpy-liebgott, @blueberry-ovaries @lewis-winters @easycompany123@andromeddog @hanniewinnix and honestly so many more!

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

I have two options. Get to my Marine Corps brother who is a borderline doomsday prepper but lives an hour and a half away or die immediately.

Favorite movie?

Again with the favorites? Some of my comfort movies include: Pride and Prejudice (2005), Mamma Mia, Hellboy 2 The Golden Army (specifically 2, not the first one) and Coraline

Do you like horror movies?

Yes! If my above mentioned books weren't an indicator. I love modern paranormal, 80s slashers and any Vincent Price movie

Tagging (no pressure!) : Also, Sorry if you've already been tagged! (does anyone else get nervous tagging people for no damn reason?)

@hanniewinnix, @pettypumpk1n @multifandomfanfic @hbowarandchill @fxxiva

[chronal-anomaly]

meta + found family

Send me headcanons || always accepting tbh

Found family is really the only family that Lena's had.

Maybe that's not entirely true. Maybe one day, there was a bouncing baby Lena and parents that loved her so dearly, it felt like their hearts would burst. That she would be dressed up in baby sundresses and taken for picnics and music in the park. A mother that showed up to gymnastics recitals and tacked her paintings to the fridge. A fiery-haired woman who loved as long as the sun was bright, fierce and whole. Once upon a time, there were dances in the kitchen and pretend-airplanes in her father's arms. Somewhere abroad, a large family who shared her mother's passion for the world.

But accidents happen, and grief is a fickle thing.

Lena doesn't remember the car accident that killed Ciara, doesn't remember the days of grieving later. Conversely, she doesn't remember the grief etched into her father's face, deeper at every interaction. Lena was too much like Ciara, too in love with life and exuding brilliance that it physically hurt him. Who could blame him for retreating into his office work? Who could blame him for saving himself the pain of watching the reminder of the woman he loved so dearly, grow up?

Lena's second family was a group of friends she met at a rock concert she snuck into at 13. A mixture of human and omnic, all reunited by the deep, rocking base and the drive to feel connected in a way beyond. Days continued with this group, time spent graffitiing London, attending parties and concerts, and not a small amount of vigilant justice against the rampant anti-omnic mentalities. But there has to be a point where they grow up and move on, and Lena fell for the trap of military recruitment.

Her third family, and most short lived, consisted of her cohort in the Royal Air Force Academy. United this time over 60 miles runs and broken spirits - and more than a couple broken bones - these were the first people she trusted with her life. She had to, given the circumstances. They were the ones destined to take over the decimated ranks of the Royal Air Force, the next generation against whatever threat the world spit out. But nepotism is a dangerous game, and the prodigy they called Lena Oxton was separated for her skill in the sky. Today, they're still her family - she has lunch with Hamila and Natalie, sometimes - but that boundary had been cast and changed the course of everything.

Her fourth family was with Overwatch. It began with the Blackwatch boys, Cassidy and Genji, being close enough in age to be brothers. Genji mourned with her, their broken and altered bodies, in his own silent way. Eventually that net expanded to include Jack, Angela, Fareeha as a younger sister, Gabe, Ana, Vivian - they all became closer to family, the first people Lena would go to. In fact, Jack was the first one she went to after her first relationship during her time as a Hero exploded in her face ( Lena was too dedicated to her work, a feeling he could resonate with entirely ). When that, too, was lost to her, Lena believed herself unworthy of a family. It was hard to trust, to love again, even for someone with that fiery passion of her mother. Lena sufficed with love for people, for humanity, and animals, and everything else she deemed 'good' in the world. Doing her part to correct wrongs and bring light back into people's days.

But one can reject love, and it still find them.

Her fifth family was another fiery, red-headed woman with power in her eyes and a quicksilver tongue. Emily, international news reporter, covering everywhere where she shouldn't be, including the active warzone made up of the former streets of Belgium in a rogue omnic attack. Lena had saved her then, ignoring the punch to her gut at the beauty of the woman ( as covered in ash and dirt as she was ). However, it wouldn't be until a subsequent, similar encounter that had Lena sprinting to a medic, Emily tucked to her chest as Lena screamed to save her. Lena had visited her in the hospital later, a rare happening for a woman so insistent on the few degrees of separation she was able to maintain. This family, she held tightly, like embracing the setting sun, and so far, Emily has yet to dissipate from between her fingers.

Her final, and current family, is a hodgepodge of different lives lived in different worlds. Family built in the hardship of war, friends made over rucks and arms training and sleepless. Love found in the battlefield. Newcomers and old friends, people that she would happily burn up for just to see them succeed. They've never asked such a thing of her, however, existing in relative harmony compared.

And Lena loves. Gods, does she love them all.

[pureimaginefic]

Trivia

Vicki’s father James was at first an elitist snob who Vicki couldn’t stand

Lisa is named after a girl I went to school with who was a complete bitch

Vicki of course comes from Victoria “Posh Spice” Addams who I hardcore shipped with Brian when I was little, note their last names also being similar.

Incidentally Emily was loosely inspired by Emma “Baby Spice” Bunton

I gave Kevin, Howie, AJ, and Nick a case of SORAS (Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome) to roughly the same as Brian so the high school plotline and the boys’ birth years made sense without being weird (IRL Nick would’ve been 12 and AJ would’ve been 13/14 if Neilson and Adam were to actually exist)

The boys’ names were supposed to be temporary placeholders so I could remember who’s kid belonged to whom until I could think of new ones…that didn’t happen

The boys’ middle names were inspired by my love of horror movies,

Bradley (Jason Voorhees; Friday the 13th)

Neilson (Freddy Krueger; Nightmare on Elm Street)

Kyle (Michael Myers; Halloween)

Harry (Dracula)

Adam’s middle name was originally Jackson as I believed that the killer of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Leatherface’s, real name was Jack (John), turns out it’s Thomas Hewitt, therefore Adam has no ties to any kind of scary movie, which I guess is okay considering he’s scary enough as a person

As far as I know the name “Neilson” IS real I only came up with it because I couldn’t think of another boys’ name that started with an N, completely forgetting the name Nathan existed

Natalie’s last name comes from a guy I was friends with in high school

Mr. Wexler was also the name of the school’s principal in the show “Even Stevens” let’s just say I decided to borrow it

Coach Reinhart’s name comes from my childhood best friend’s maternal grandfather, affectionately known as “Poppy Reinhart”

Forever Your Girl, Pomp & Circumstance, and The Winchester Saga went through NUMEROUS rewrites before their final versions were released

Harry is an amalgamation of Carlton from Fresh Prince, Fez from That 70’s Show, and Steve Urkel from Family Matters

The Winchester Saga has lead to some confusion with people thinking it has something to do with the TV show Supernatural, it doesn’t I was just trying to think of an elite, powerful, snooty sounding last name. I DID create characters named Sam and Dean as a fun Easter egg but they don’t hunt the supernatural, just criminals

The characters Rachel, Chandler, and Joey were NOT done on purpose, I didn’t realize I did it until much later and yes, Friends IS one of my favorite shows 

Incase you didn’t know, Bradley and Neilson are best friends (yes I’m aware of how much I have them refer to each other as such) their relationship is modeled after Brian and Nick’s during the early days of BSB when they were super close

Bradley, Neilson, and Natalie’s friendship was inspired by Shawn, Corey, and Topanga on Boy Meets World

Kevin’s departure from BSB is included in the series with it being mentioned that he’s either in Boston or New York working on movies

Brian’s Christian, good boy persona made me want to make Bradley a snarky, sarcastic, rebellious metalhead  

Neilson is just Nick during his Now or Never era

Mr. Mooney is a faceless character, meaning he’s only mentioned in passing and never actually makes appearances

“Backstreet Manor” as it’s called is big enough to include (at least) 10 bedrooms, an in-home recording studio, a game room, Harry’s lab, and an in-ground pool

While Natalie has a friendly relationship with Kyle and Harry, and is best friends with Bradley, she and Adam have an acrimonious relationship 

Bradley’s car “Christine” a 2008 Ford Mustang convertible gets it’s name from the Stephen King novel of the same name

[notelasts]

canon divergencies

connor murphy - connor survives his suicide attempt. he is hospitalized for a week, and once he’s discharged and back in school, he learns about what happened with evan. he refuses to speak to either evan or jared unless he has to and considers what they did one of the worst things a person could do. he begins therapy at cynthia’s insistence and reluctantly begins to repair his relationships with zoe, cynthia, larry and miguel.

dallas “dally” winston - dally survives being shot. he spends two weeks in the hospital recovering. when he’s discharged, he packs up his things and leaves oklahoma.

dean winchester - dean is canon compliant up to season five. i do not acknowledge any other seasons in my portrayal of dean. dean doesn’t settle down like sam asked him to. he continues to hunt and help people as much as he can.

dolores hargreeves - dolores is human. she and five met in the apocalypse and fell in love. she has no superpowers. she worked with five during their time at the commission. she doesn’t like the hargreeves siblings, as she thinks they’re incompetent and annoying. she would much rather be enjoying retirement than saving the world, but she knows how much five’s family means to him, so she helps him even if she doesn’t like his siblings.

finnick odair - he survives and goes on to help katniss overthrow the capitol. as the rebellion dies down, he returns to district four to raise his child with annie.

five hargreeves - the umbrella academy jumps from the 60s to 2019. they arrive eight days before the end of the world and must work together to once again prevent the apocalypse. this time around, they’re successful. now their biggest challenge is learning how to get along.

gabriel “gabe” goodman - gabe survives and goes on to live a happy life. he gets along with diana and natalie and his relationship with dan is a bit strained, but they’re both working on it.

jack twist - jack survives his accident but refuses to speak about it. he’s more careful about his relationships going forward and he reaches out to ennis one more time in the hopes that he’ll get a ranch with him.

james “jay gatsby” gatz - he survives and continues to hold out hope that daisy will call or return to him.

jeremiah valeska - after jeremiah is sprayed with jerome’s insanity gas, he works with his brother to terrorize gotham. he doesn’t fall into the vat of chemicals. jeremiah, jerome, and the joker do not exist in the same universe. i treat gotham’s canon and the dark knight’s canon as separate universes.

jerome valeska - jerome doesn’t fall off the building. jim gordon pulls him up and gets him to a hospital. jerome stays for one day and then breaks out. he and jeremiah go on to terrorize gotham. jeremiah, jerome, and the joker do not exist in the same universe. i treat gotham’s canon and the dark knight’s canon as separate universes.

loki laufeyson - the loki that thanos killed was an illusion. he winds up on earth with bruce and manages to convince the avengers that he isn’t working with thanos. he helps them to attempt to locate and destroy the infinity stones and then, later, to find them. he also helps rebuild new asgard.

lucy gray baird - she flees to district thirteen and helps the rebellion in secret. she never returns to the capitol and she lives to see snow killed.

medusa - medusa’s story unfolds as it normally does, except she has a friend named iphicles. iphicles has been in love with her since they were children and medusa returns his feelings, but they can’t be together because of her vows as a priestess of athena. she turns him to stone after athena curses her because she mistakes him for athena returning to apologize.

natalia alianovna “natasha romanoff” romanova - she is resurrected when steve returns the infinity stones. she returns to shield and the avengers, training new agents and preparing for any threats that might attack earth.

rey - rey is not in love with kylo ren. rey does not take the skywalker name. rey does not have palpatine’s power of force lightning, nor is she his granddaughter. she is just a force sensitive girl that was abandoned on jakku.

rolf “riff lorton” lautmann - he survives and spends two days in the hospital before he runs away. tony and bernardo are dead and riff refuses to speak to the jets after what they did to anita. all he has is grazi and his neighborhood, but if he doesn’t leave new york, he could very well end up dead.

steven “steve” rogers - steve doesn’t return to the 40s when he returns the infinity stones. he goes back to the present. he gives his shield to sam and works with natasha to help train new recruits.

anton “tony” wyzek - tony survives. he spends a week in the hospital recovering from his injuries. valentina tells him about the jets and riff’s death. once he’s discharged from the hospital, tony takes all the money he has and leaves new york with maria. they end up in massachusetts, and tony starts attending college to study medicine and become a doctor.

[pivotbitches]

I’ve had so much social anxiety since the funeral. I don’t feel like me anymore.

I did dance marathon this past weekend and almost immediately had an anxiety attack when I got to the gym. I had been dreading going the day before and that morning and but told myself that it was going to be so much more fun and the scenario I was making in my head wasn’t real. Then I got there and it was pretty much exactly like the scenario I made up. I felt so out of place, I was alone in a room full of people, I didn’t know what to do or what was going on. I spent a few minutes trying to find and figure out the schedule, because surely that would help but it wasn’t as structured as I thought it would be. I decided I’d go to the bag check but the walk from the main floor to the bottom floor was enough to put me into full panic. I ended up in a bathroom that was away from everyone and just cried and shook and breathed for a solid minute. I was trying to stay there until someone in my group got there so I ended up playing basketball ball for 10 minutes. But dance marathon took over that gym too so I just left and went to hangout with Casi at her house so that I wouldn’t be alone. A couple hours later I went back and ate lunch by myself and then found Natalie and her bf. It was still awkward but was better.

Yesterday, I went back to Casi’s house and watched baseball and some movies with her but then at the end when I was about to leave we started discussing (low key arguing) about minors (13-17) having access to social media and I ended up cutting it off because I was annoyed and felt like she didn’t understand me and then I was driving home and replaying it over and over and started to feel like she thinks I’m broken or something idk. Whatever it was struck a cord and made me want to cry and also made me angry.

I also feel like everything I say rn is bitchy or argumentative. It’s like every thought just comes out and immediately afterwards I’m kicking myself because it came out mean or snarky which wasn’t the intention. But can there be an intention when you just say the first thing in your mind?

Lastly, I feel so inferior. I feel like the “duff”. I stg every time I like someone they end up liking my friend and it makes me feel like shit. Like I’m not good enough and never will be. I like the guy in my lab and have even told my friends about it. Casi came into the lab to study and the three of us talked for a second in between some other conversations. Then this afternoon Jack and I were leaving at the same time and he asked about what she was studying and my heart sank. I know it could just be him making conversation, but she hadn’t been there for hours and he brought her up. It hurts. I also offered him a ride and he declined and that fucked me up a little too, bc if he liked me he would have accepted the invitation.

Now I’m home, and it hit me how empty I feel. And it’s not just emptiness, but it’s almost like I’m in this constant state of confusion (?) where I don’t know what I feel or why I feel like I do it’s weird. I don’t have a desire to do anything. I don’t want to talk to anyone. For the first time, I don’t want to go to therapy, but I know I need to because I am spiraling a little bit. I’m just honestly waiting for it to be dark out and a slightly more acceptable time so I can just go to sleep.

[randomperson99sworld]

Hope

~ Chapter 6~

Summary: Dean and Sam Winchester save a young woman —Natalie Johnson, from a coven of witches who are after her deceased grandmothers spell book. At first Dean doesn’t trust her, will he ever? Natalie is just simply a woman who gets roped up in the supernatural world from a mistake her grandmother made.

Pairing: Dean x OX

Warning: Age gap, slow burn, smut (in the later chapters), language, gore.

Word Count: 1,117

A/N: Y’all are lucky I’m up early cause I can’t sleep. And it’s Fall Break so I have more time on my hands! ;) Happy reading! ♥️

The Next Day:

Dean Winchester sat at the kitchen table of the bunker, staring at a blank spot on the wall. His hands rested on the table, motionless, as his mind spiraled through memories, one after another—like old wounds that refused to close.

He thought of his dad, the way John Winchester had pushed him and Sam into this life, driven by revenge and a mission that was never really theirs to begin with. Then, his mom—twice taken from him. First as a child, then again as an adult after they'd been given a sliver of time to know her, only for it to be ripped away.

Bobby. His gruff, surrogate father who had taught him and Sam more about family than their own dad ever had. Benny, the vampire who had become a brother in purgatory, only to be left behind when Dean couldn't save him. Kevin, the prophet who was too young and too pure for the chaos that their lives brought, gone because Dean couldn't protect him.

Then, there was Charlie. Her loss hit differently—like a knife twisted in his gut. She was family too, and he had failed her. He failed her like he had failed so many others.

He thought of Lisa and Ben. For a while, he thought maybe he could have had a normal life with them. But that was never in the cards for him, and he'd let them go to protect them. But losing them still hurt.

Hell, even Cas and Jack, though alive, felt like losses too. They weren't around anymore—at least not in the way they used to be. Cas was off restoring Heaven, distant, and Jack... Jack had become something more, someone untouchable, someone far removed from the kid who'd just wanted to fit in.

Dean was tired. Tired of losing, tired of being the one left behind.

The heavy weight of it all pressed down on him, threatening to smother him, when the sound of footsteps pulled him from his thoughts. He didn't move, didn't look up, but the footsteps were familiar.

Natalie.

She didn't say anything at first. Dean heard the soft scrape of a plate sliding across the table, and when he glanced down, there was a piece of meatloaf, homemade, with mashed potatoes and some green beans.

"You need to eat," she said simply, her voice soft but firm. She stood on the other side of the table, arms crossed, watching him.

Dean hadn't even realized how long it had been since he'd last eaten. His stomach growled in protest, but he ignored it. "I'm fine," he muttered, his eyes still distant, unfocused.

Natalie shook her head, pulling out the chair next to him and sitting down. "No, you're not. You haven't eaten all day." She offered him a small smile, pushing the plate a little closer. "It's homemade. I'm not a chef or anything, but... it's not from a can, so that's something."

Dean glanced at the plate, then back at her, his expression unreadable. "Since when do you cook?"

Natalie shrugged, her smile softening. "Had to learn eventually. I can't survive on bunker rations forever."

He grunted, pushing the food around the plate with his fork but not really eating. His mind still lingered on everything he'd lost, everyone he couldn't save. The silence stretched between them, thick and uncomfortable, until Natalie broke it.

"I don't know everything that's going on in your head," she said, her voice careful, "but I do know that you can't keep going like this. Skipping meals, getting lost in your thoughts, bottling everything up—it's not helping anyone. Least of all you."

Dean stabbed at the mashed potatoes, not looking up. "Yeah, well... not much helps these days."

Natalie frowned, watching him. She could see the exhaustion in his eyes, the weight of all the pain he carried. She'd only been in his life for a short while, but she could tell Dean was someone who internalized everything, who felt like it was his responsibility to shoulder the burden, to carry the weight of all the losses alone.

"You don't have to do this alone, you know," she said gently. "I know you think you do, but... you don't."

Dean let out a bitter chuckle, finally looking up at her. "Yeah, well, that's the problem, isn't it? Every time I try to let someone in, they end up dead or gone. Doesn't exactly make me want to keep getting close to people."

Natalie's eyes softened. "Dean, it's not your fault."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "Isn't it? Bobby, Charlie, Kevin, even Cas and Jack... I've let them all down. Every single one of them."

Natalie stared at him for a long moment, her heart heavy with the weight of his words. She could see that he was drowning in guilt, in grief, but she wasn't going to let him stay there. Not without a fight. She didn't know who they were, but she knew Dean enough to know he shouldn’t carry that guilt.

"Dean," she said, her voice quiet but firm, "you didn't let anyone down. You've done more to protect people than anyone could ever ask for. You've saved lives—countless lives. And I know you don't want to hear this, but sometimes... you can't save everyone."

Dean clenched his jaw, his gaze hardening. "Yeah, well, that's the part that keeps me up at night."

Natalie sighed, leaning forward slightly. "I get that. I really do. But if you keep holding onto that guilt, it's going to destroy you. And, Dean... you deserve better than that."

For a moment, Dean didn't respond. He just sat there, staring at the plate of food she'd put in front of him, his mind racing with memories of everyone he'd lost, everything he'd failed to do. But then, slowly, he picked up his fork and took a bite of the meatloaf.

It wasn't the best meal he'd ever had, but it was warm, and it was real. And it was something he needed, even if he didn't want to admit it.

"Not bad," he muttered after a few bites, his voice softer now, less defensive.

Natalie smiled faintly, watching him eat. "Glad you like it."

Dean didn't say anything else, but the silence between them was different this time. Less tense. He still had a mountain of guilt to work through, and he didn't know if he ever really would. But for now, with a plate of homemade meatloaf in front of him and someone who actually gave a damn sitting next to him, it felt like maybe, just maybe, he wasn't completely alone.

And for Dean, that was enough for now.

[carnagebleda]

fandom section + natalie pace!

skipping the ones that i don't understand lol

What do you think the fandom for your character would be like? Are they a fan favorite, a love-to-hate villain, derided for whatever reason, or something else?

personally, i think they would be a fan favorite. i think it would've been really cool and grounding to see a sci-fi character going through a common addiction (more common than heroin from a british rockstar mind you) like alcohol and fighting it while being on an island. we didn't see much of the negative sides of being stranded (other than shannon and her inhaler), and we didn't see anyone with diabetes or someone needing daily medications run out like anti-depressants or something like that. it would've been cool to see a character beat alcohol and later heroin cause falling off the wagon does happen and have her come out on top.

What feelings does your character most often instill in their fans? Affection? A desire to protect? Open lust? A love/hate dynamic? Why do you think their fans feel this way?

again this is just my opinion but I feel like people would want to protect her since her brother would've pushed her aside and concentrated on claire and aaron until she got into the island heroin stash. if they look back on the episodes leading up to his hallucinations, they would've seen her struggling in the background but not having the courage to speak up about it. and they probably would've loved seeing her overcome it by helping to get jack from the others and becoming a really good shot with a gun.

By contrast, what would their haters dislike about your character? Is it a petty complaint? A mischaracterization of the character or their intentions? Are they just a woman in a largely male-centric series?

I can see her not being liked because she's so codependent on her brother in the beginning of the series (not like boone and shannon obvi) and not knowing what to do when he's not around with her but eventually finding her place among the survivors was something she had to figure out on her own. i can also see her falling back on her recovery (let's be honest the ableism was very high in the early 2000s).

What controversies/drama would your character incite in fandom?

I can see ship wars for starters or even the pettiness of being a female character with flaws like everyone else in that series.

Is your character the subject of ‘imagines’ or ‘x reader’ style blogs?

not as much as the men but I can see male!readers or even some x readers !

Are there any tropes fandom would put upon your character, for better or for worse?

they would probably always see the twins in a form of addiction even if she survives her brother for years, creating an alcohol anonymous group in the dharma initiative would be a substitute for not talking about the grief his death would've caused her.

What would be the ‘incorrect but wildly popular’ interpretation of your character in fandom?

probably being a mirror to any other character including her brother and claire post s5. she's her own character.

META ASKS IF MY OC WAS CANON // HELLA ACCEPTING // @whitelace

[rockislandadultreads]

Read-A-Romance Month: More New Romance Recommendations

Summer Reading by Jenn McKinlay

For Samantha Gale, a summer on Martha’s Vineyard at her family’s tiny cottage was supposed to be about resurrecting her career as a chef, until she’s tasked with chaperoning her half-brother, Tyler. The teenage brainiac is spending his summer at the local library in a robotics competition, and there’s no place Sam, who’s dyslexic, likes less than the library. And because the universe hates her, the library’s interim director turns out to be the hot-reader guy whose book she accidentally destroyed on the ferry ride to the island.

Bennett Reynolds is on a quest to find his father, whose identity he’s never known. He’s taken the temporary job on the island to research the summer his mother spent there when she got pregnant with him. Ben tells himself he isn't interested in a relationship right now. Yet as soon as Sam knocks his book into the ocean, he can’t stop thinking about her.

An irresistible attraction blossoms when Ben inspires Sam to create the cookbook she’s always dreamed about and she jumps all in on helping him find his father, and soon they realize their summer fling may heat up into a happily ever after.

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by K.J. Charles

Abandoned by his father as a small child, Sir Gareth Inglis has grown up prickly, cold, and well-used to disappointment. Even so, he longs for a connection, falling headfirst into a passionate anonymous affair that's over almost as quickly as it began. Bitter at the sudden rejection, Gareth has little time to lick his wounds: his father has died, leaving him the family title, a rambling manor on the remote Romney Marsh...and the den of cutthroats and thieves that make its intricate waterways their home.

Joss Doomsday has run the Doomsday smuggling clan since he was a boy. His family is his life...which is why when the all-too-familiar new baronet testifies against Joss's sister for a hanging offense, Joss acts fast, blackmailing Gareth with the secret of their relationship to force him to recant. Their reunion is anything but happy and the path forward everything but smooth, yet after the dust settles, neither can stay away. It's a long road from there - full of danger and mysteries to be solved - yet somehow, along the way, this well-mannered gentleman may at last find true love with the least likely of scoundrels.

This is the first volume of the "Doomsday Books" series.

Unfortunately Yours by Tessa Bailey

After losing her job and her fiancé in one fell swoop, Natalie Vos returned home to lick her wounds. A few months later, she's sufficiently drowned her sorrows in cabernet and she's ready to get back on her feet. She just needs her trust fund to finance her new business venture. Unfortunately, the terms require she marry before she can have the money. And well, dumped, remember? But Natalie is desperate enough to propose to a man who makes her want to kill him--and kiss him, in equal measure.

August Cates may own a vineyard, but he doesn't know jack about making wine. He's determined to do his late best friend proud, no matter what it takes. Except his tasting room is empty, his wine is disgusting (seriously, he once saw someone gag), and his buddy's legacy is circling the drain. No bank will give him the loan he needs to turn the business around... and then the gorgeous, feisty heiress knocks on his door. Natalie has haunted his dreams since the moment they met, but their sizzling chemistry immediately morphed into simmering insults.

Now, a quickie marriage could help them both. A sham wedding, a few weeks living under the same roof, and then they can go their separate ways - assuming they make it out alive. How hard could it be? There's just one thing they didn't account for: their unfortunate, unbearable, undeniable attraction.

This is the second volume of the "A Vine Mess" series.

Zora Books Her Happy Ever After by Taj McCoy

Zora has committed every inch of her life to establishing her thriving DC bookstore, making it into a pillar of the community, and she just hasn’t had time for romance. But when a mystery author she’s been crushing on for years agrees to have an event at her store, she starts to rethink her priorities. Lawrence is every bit as charming as she imagined, even if his understanding of his own books seems just a bit shallow. When he asks her out after his reading, she’s almost elated enough to forget about the grumpy guy who sat next to her making snide comments all evening. Apparently the grouch is Lawrence’s best friend, Reid, but she can’t imagine what kind of friendship that must be. They couldn’t be more different.

But as she starts seeing Lawrence, and spending more and more time with Reid, Zora finds first impressions can be deceiving. Reid is smart and thoughtful - he’s also interested. After years of avoiding dating, she suddenly has two handsome men competing for her affection. But even as she struggles to choose between them, she can’t shake the feeling that they’re both hiding something - a mystery she’s determined to solve before she can find her HEA.