#even if u dont think abt it !!!! thats even better !!! bc u just KNOW n u have that skill on lockdown ur rlly good at it
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reel-fear · 6 months ago
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Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
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2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
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5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
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Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
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7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
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He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
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So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
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phagodyke · 7 days ago
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kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room
#ive only slept 4 hours and its a sunday so im probably just cranky and getting irrationally annoyed idk.#but i wanted to talk abt revenant gun bc im enjoying it and havent gotten to discuss it w anyone :-(#i dont wanna post on here bc i dont wanna see spoilers and i dont have anything to say that other fans would find particularly interesting#ik half the arcs of the veilguard characters despite the fact ill never play it bc i like listening to her + hearing her opinions#but damn i guess she doesnt gaf shes got better things to do. im not being fair i get we jusr socialise differently n thats fine.#and ik its not true but sometimes i feel like she doesnt like being around me very much bc shes always halfway out the door#and she doesnt suggest we watch shit together anymore n has turned me down the last few times ive suggested it#but ik shes doing shit w other ppl shes always calling n playing games n stuff w other friends so well maybe its a little true#and she acts so strange around me sometimes like she'll move to the other side of the room if i go open the fridge or whatever#like damn girl im not gonna fucking bite u. whats up with the constant 5ft distance. bc u dont ever do that with other friends just me.#and then it pisses me off when it sort of comes up as a side thing to smth else bc it ONLY ever comes up around other ppl she'll never#bring it up directly with me and she'll blame it on me as if we havent had this conversation multiple times where ive explained exactly#why im weird abt shit sometimes and where my boundaries are and what i would like and then nothing at all changes#like last time she brought it up around another friend she was like oh well we can hug more if u want like no we fucking cant bc u act#like we're magnetically repulsed u hate me being in ur space and only tolerate it when we're around other ppl which is why it makes ME#uncomfortable when she does try to be physically affectionate or whatever bc she 100% exclusively does it in front of others#like man u dont have to put on a fucking performance??? or even worse do it just bc u feel guilty abt leaving me out i hate being pitied#even if ik i very obviously do get hurt at being left out. but thats my problem man i would never fuck w someone elses boundaries#i hate hate hate when ppl have inconsistent conditional boundaries and never communicate what the fucking conditions are so theyre#constantly moving the benchposts around and acting unpredictably like how am i supposed to know where they are!!!!!! please#snd then so embarrassing to pointedly say its bc of MY behaviour in front of someone else like oh ok. u couldnt have told me this before.#in private so we could actually communicatr. sorry this has gotten so off track im feeling so gross this morning and everything is#frustrating me im so tired i feel nauseous ughhhh#okay well anyway. got my list of tasks lets just focus on this shit instead before i spend yet another sunday miserably ruminating#.vent#im not actually mad at her or anything like i said we just socialise differently we have different incompatible flavours of autism#and thats not her fault but its just so frustrating that we cant seem to communicate very well. i think im allowed to be frustrated#anyway yeah sorry im leaving it im leaving it. i should go polish my boots before i shower
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nomairuins · 3 months ago
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bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
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3416 · 1 year ago
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Mitch Marner Media Availability | 11.03.23
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29121996 · 1 month ago
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i prefer posting my thoughts on here i rlly get lost in some void n also i rlly .
#also all of u are just as weird or insane as mw on Some Level 💜#u dont survive on this hellsite qithout being a fuckijg OddBall .#anyway. met a guy wgi knew t1975 tn. he commented on my dhirt and asked my fav sonf#ACTUALLY he asked if my fav song was xhocolate#so i absolutely pulled out a deepcut (this must be my dream - IT is my top 5 so im not wrong#but being out knctje spot like that had me panixking#fav is avtually roadkill#but anyway his was cohoclatw but also guys whixb is Classic taste#he was so cool loved ralkibg tk him#sucked to not get his socials#also im not even . idc what it looks like w me leavinf not long after he does#to be fair i was starting to get bored bc i wasnt drinkijg + pool tables werent Free n it was gettibg Crowded#so i ended up leavinf like 10mins after he left . but i was overstimulatwd at that point#i knew my rwasoning for going up#i wasnt dissappointed . i canbadmit that to myawlf#embracing all the yuxkiness that i feel abt . this like the obessiveness and .#u I now what its doing some good for me in a weird way .#i am ashamed how deeo this well goes ill admit but . shame is a useless emotjon or wtv kurt said#god this show is fucmibg . its damaged my pysche but if ut hasnt . rlly made me take a look at some thibgs sometimes 🤺🤺#but antway . at a point where i can deal with this#and not be too bothered by his appearance or ppls opinions vc it Doesnt Matter. none of it rly fucking matters#its all fucking talk know oje knows SHIT Bt me ans even then i dont xare bc i know myself#well enough and i know . what i can do abd what im aiming for and all of this is just Muck i have to wash off#bc i know what haopenes and i know this inside out better than anyone (i literallt experienced it First Hand)#none of these bitches were even around when it was haopening too like thats whar has me kixking my feet some way#like . i Know these people. i Met them Several times over the last 3yrs. but to them??? i wasnt as Prominent#ubtil like . the last 8 months . maybe 9 .#and same goes w that fucker. not a lot of these ppl Met him until After we split last year lol#minus like . 2 i think? maybe 3 ?#anyway . wild.
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kaisfruit · 1 year ago
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Hiiii loved your first first about kai!
Could I request a one shot or headcanon about each of the ninja and how they would pleasure a fem!reader pls?
How they pleasure you | All ninja x fem!reader headcanons
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a/n: omg tysm for my first ask <3 this is like,,one of the few times ive ever written nsfw so!! i hope its okay :3 also im gonna leave out lloyd cuz ik technically he's an adult but idk it's still a bit weird imo warnings: nsfw under the cut (duh),cunnilingus (cole, zane, nya) , slight size kink mention in cole's part, degradation in kai's part, inappropriate usage of elemental ability (jay), umm thats all i can think of im srry if i missed anything ^^
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Cole
Ugh idec he's a big guy. is that a collective hc that the whole fandom can agree on? i think so
def uses that size to his advantage when y'all are alone together
I'm talking like MANHANDLING
only if u ask tho cuz cmon we all know he is such a caring guy he would always take your wants and boundaries into account
okay, my horrible down bad size kink out of the way-
mans has a big appetite (wink wink)
goes down on you like no other. like, he treats your pussy like it's breakfast, lunch, dinner, AND DESSERT babes
there would be no breaks with him. i cant say this enough, but he is eating you out like a man starved
overstimulation bound to happen srry i dont make the rules
he would NOT ask for anything in return
this man is the biggest giver when it comes to sex oh my lorddd
you're in charge but like he is if you know what i mean?
like he does what he knows you love, but on his own terms
ur in the bed and he's just instantly pinning you down yk using that strength of his, spreading your legs as far as the can go, and boom diving in head first
srry i could fill up like 3 posts of just cole eating you out im that passionate abt this topic
Kai
Plays with your pleasure like it's a damn toy
This man is the biggest tease ever
Though, his teasing does lean a bit towards minor body worshipping bc he's just everywhere
Marking you up with hickeys wherever he can get his damn mouth
Hands? can barely keep track of their movements. One second they're playing with your tits the next he's two fingers deep in your pussy
Let's just say he's taking his time here just to make the actual sex feel absolutely amazing on your end
But rlly it gets him going seeing you all whiny beneath him at his never ending touches
it's a win-win if you think about it
THAT DAMN MOUTH.
kai is not the guy for u if ur not down for a bit of degradation because DAMN
he has to come second place to jay in the yapping awards bc he's always saying smthn during the act
he pays attention though. listens or feels your reactions to every filthy thing he whispers to you.
absolutely ruins u for anyone else. gl w this man yall <3
Zane
He is so damn PRECISE??
Like, how does he know exactly how to touch you in that spot in order to get that reaction?
LOVES i mean like absolutely LOVES fingering you
being able to watch you come undone on just his fingers? god it is everything to him
will also add his tongue into the mix bc even tho hes a robot he cannot get enough of ur taste
just so calculated w every movement
bro made sex into a science 😭😭
tells you how good you're doing for him, how perfect you look, etc.
loves praising you bc it's the honest truth of how he feels about you
tbh 50% of the pleasure he gives u is from the pure love u can feel with every slight touch, every kiss, everything
soft dom vibes iykwim
REFUSES to even try to get himself off if he hasnt attended to you first
also an extreme giver like
he would get rid of entire body parts if it meant making u feel even better during sex
okay thats hyperbole but like
this nindroid has so much love in his robot heart for u and he needs u to KNOWWWW
Nya
A GIRL'S GIRL U ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT IS
she has all of these boys BEAT when it comes to pleasuring u bc of her same gender advantage
her head will stay in between your legs until you are absolutely SCREAMING her name
that fact fills her with immense amounts of pride btw
i see her as giving u a good mix of gentle and rough touches that like come together to make the most intense feeling ever??? if that makes sense
she's so good w her mouth like,,,everywhere
her favorite place to have her mouth is on ur pussy ofc, but she could also give a vampire a run for their money with how attached to ur neck she is
marks litter your neck
she's so good at finding that one little sweet spot that makes your body squirm
tends to multitask as well
like if she's currently a knuckle deep in your hole then you can also probably find her mouth licking and sucking at one of your nipples
everything she does to you is just so confusing in the best way possible
Jay
everything with him is just so fast-paced
he barely gives you any time to catch your breath in between anything
just one thing after another with jay
it mostly comes from his overzealous nature
your body makes him feel like a kid in a candy store im not even gonna lie. there's so much he could be doing he doesn't even know where to start
constantly talking. what did you expect from the motormouth himself?
half of it's mumbles of how gorgeous or how breathtaking you are and the other half is just downright filthy
honestly that second part would be such a turn on cuz u wouldn't have expected it from jay
the first time he used his element on you it was an accident
he didn't even realized it happened at first. he felt you jolt at the sensation and his first instinct was to apologize instantly, but he never even had a chance as he felt how you clenched down on his fingers and the moan u let out would forever be ingrained in his brain
from that point on, he's constantly looking for the best opportunity to let the smallest current just give a little tingle to your skin
jay really knows how to keep things interesting <3
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thatdeadaquarius · 2 years ago
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I found one of your sagau posts about language and got me thinking xD
Reader who knows a lot of languages which gets people confused. Are they speaking in their godly language? Are they really that mad that they switched to another language? Why are they smirking like that--- (Aether/Lumine who understood everything trying so hard not to laugh at people's reactions)
Why did I imagine that after a flowery speech Reader delivers a response so blunt the vine boom sfx can be heard---
Reader trying out flowery speech and failing, while the rest of the people in the background are either A.) Trying to convince you that its alright to talk simply (oh now you turn the tables--) or B.) Some of them fainting in devotion/cuteness because their god looks at them so eagerly for feedback
I heard somewhere that Mondstadt is based on Germany and another post about Snezhnaya (bruh whats the spelling 🤣💀) based on Russia, so I thought that while they speak english they also throw in a couple words of their respective language (or in some drunk cases, full out native language). Cue reader just.... 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️
Bilingual reader who uses full advantage of their knowledge into making puns and jokes to Cyno----
WE CAUGHT ANOTHER ONE BOYS
YES YES THE PSPSPSPSS NEVER FAILSSS🛐🛐🛐
(subliminalmessagingpspspspsscometomeaskscomepspspspspssubliminalmessaging)
___________
DUDE ive thought abt just making it where Aether/Lumine are the only ones who understand English/ur language and like, while u can (or maybe cant for shenanigans) speak Teyvatian (ew theres gotta be a better word for that?) Theres NOTHING as amazing as the bilingual experience of pranking bitches
Eula gives like a whole poetry book of a speech to you guys to be more responsible abt gliding in the city (its cute <3 shes actually very concerned bc you know you would do sm that would worry her, i mean i know im just flinging myself off of every surface all the time, esp in Mondstadt im not using no stairs💀)
And you just... turn to Aether/Lumine and say smth in English and they bust out laughing
(Or worse, u two are giggling like little shits✨️)
Dont feel too bad Eula, they do this to everyone
(Paimon's constantly on ya'lls case abt it)
Like u didnt even say anything rude (probably), as u explained to Eula, but its like this all the time, sm ppl even find themsleves jealous of this bond you two have got, tho whether they are jealous of Aether/Lumine or you is still still hard to tell,,)
IM SO GLAD ONE PERSON OUT THERE GOT THE FLOWERY SPEECH -> YOU REPLY -> VINE BOOM 🤝🤝🤝 THING I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY
Thats deadass like how i imagine half the time it would be like talking to ppl, esp if ur critizing smth that person was doing lmao (like roasting them)
Its even funnier if like, u didnt hear the vine boom so to speak, like u got ur back to the rest of the characters/npcs while ur talking to this one person and u dont even know u just said smth that's got like one person crying laughing
(KAEYA, aether/lumine, hu tao, KAVEH, Venti, childe, Yae Miko, SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER, beidou, off the top of my head)
Another one is just standing there in shock, when will they unfreeze? Only time can tell
(Zhongli, jean, eula, keqing, ayaka, ganyu, kuki shinobu, once again off the top of my head theres so many characters at this point in genshin help)
They're just like,, processing still, theyre probably overthinking everything u say bc to them you give so little information 💀 i can see the like transparent images of their thinking faces floating around them now LMAO
(Alhaitham, zhongli again rip, DILUC, kaeya's also laughing at him not just you his stomach hurts help him, Ei, XIAO, ALBEDO, Ayato but he'd also be muffling a laugh, Kazuha maybe i can also see him just giggling n shit, Kokomi, CYNO, Tighnari but also he'll react like its the funniest joke ever while he's trying to actually think abt it, so he just ends up standing there, thinking outloud, then cracking up over and over again lol)
Oh Cyno u sweet summer child, as soon as u started making puns it was over for him, no one can stop you, even if Tighnari can't understand ur language rn he can definitely just sense there's bad jokes being made, esp if Cyno gets it and his lip like, twitches upward or even worse, he chuckles.
(Tighnari's totally getting onto him for corrupting you)
pLEASE US ACTUALLY TRYING TO SPEAK LIKE THEM 😭😭😭
What a cute image, just some of them reassuring us and some of them thinking its cute for trying, and we look around the room when we try for feedback i know i would 😭😭
If i actually got close tho they better give me a headpat or smth
___________
Anyway THANK YOU for the ask!! (subliminalmessingpspspspspscometomeaskscomepspsps)
That was a BEAUTIFUL✨️ thing to read, got my heart doin backflips and shit 😳😊🥰
God this is so long im so sorry everyone
Cheers,
🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
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i-just-want-to-destroy · 2 months ago
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the last chapter for walking study in demonology was CRAZYYY im so happy you updated. im so curious about what your thought process in writing it and if youre willing to share?? you dont have to if you dont want to btw! but in any case thank u so muchhh
hey thank you! appreciate it
okay super long answer below
honestly this one was difficult. idk if its bc its been a while since i write fics from scratch so i might have forgotten how difficult the whole thing is, but this one was tough. ch 8 wasnt from scratch tho cos i had the drafts since like 2022 or smthg lol
ik the formatting is non conventional in ch 8 and i was aware that itd be hard to read for some people. but i do think abt the readers often when i write.. mainly not what the readers want in terms of storyline (altho ofc i consider this too sometimes lol) but what the reading experience will be like for them.
i.e consider if id written the chapter in a linear, traditional way and narrated the confrontation between 1-A and LoV (or even other wackier “Villains” like godzilla and invading aliens or whatever). the truth is, although def easier to read, that version will be very boring.
(i know bc i tried and scrapped those versions.)
(im sure a better writer can write it interestingly but i am not a better writer.)
the thing w writing these traditional fight scenes is tht im sure — im 1000% positive in fact — that the readers have read it before. there r literally thousands and thousands of bnha fics out there with great fight scenes, on top of the actual manga, where youve read these characters fight their assorted villains. why would i make you read that again, esp when i know i cant do it better? i already know the readers r just gonna skim the chapter if thats the case. ive been a reader, ik what fic fatigue is like — esp with bnha when everythings been rehashed infinity times in infinity different ways.
same thing also applies with even the “metaness” of the fic itself.
i dont want the fic to come off like its talking down to readers, whom i believe alrdy have the instinctual knowledge of what the fic is trying to do. im willing to bet tht the readers have read something similar to this before, like multiverses n time loop n meta stuff, also cosmic horror. i still end up narrating some things even though often i feel im being too explanatory. i jst feel like the readers will know what im talking abt by virtue of their familiarity to the tropes involved.
therefore the least i can do is serve it in an interesting way, aka the fuckass formatting. like although the tropes im doing r done so many times before, at the very least i cld let the readers hopefully have fun by piecing it together puzzle-style with the fragmented formats — so its more of an experience thing rather than jst a lore dump. i dont like lore dumps, they can be condescending.
demonology def doesnt succeed in avoiding that however. in fact its fallen to that exact trap. ch 4 and 6, those r very lore-dumpy. i tried to make it fun w the humor dialogue style but its not perfect. i know tht by ch 8 that tricks alrdy old, and the readers have all the puzzle pieces at this point anyway so itd be even more repetitive than it alrdy is. even so i still feel im being too explanatory esp with the emotional arcs but thats a skill issue on my part
overall i feel demon can be more oblique and “elegant” in its mechanics.
but anyway, it IS crack… it was never meant to promise intelligence, least of all eloquence lmfao. its never meant to be taken seriously.
of course, at this point u can tell that i actually am taking it pretty seriously LOL. i never meant to write meta fiction. i have some gripes w it, namely that i feel meta fiction is used by weaker writers as a storytelling crutch n it can come off as lazy — demon is guilty of this too. but now that i end up writing meta fiction, i might as well fucking commit and try to push it as crazy as i can. if its not gonna be good, at least it can be interesting, or weird.
blah blah im yapping. point is, ik the end product might look very “random” and pastiche as if i was jst doing whatever i wanted … which, true … but it went thru a lot of trials and errors until this final version. you would not believe the amount of time ive rewritten this chapter, due to all those ^ considerations.
however i always knew i was going to start ch8 with the classic mary sue “fanfiction” — that segment was written a long time ago like in 2022/2023?? and mostly stayed unedited since, unlike the rest of the fic which i stripped and repainted and restripped again lol
ok thanks for reading abt my wack anime crack fic writing process that, again, shld not be taken seriously. i will admit however that i do put a lot of effort n heart into it so i cannot pretend i am aloof and disaffected. id be lying if i say its been easy. i consider it a miracle i updated at all. i keep saying its not meant to be taken serious but if i managed to make it even a little bit meaningful, id be very happy.
ah also. bnha ending actually forced me to scrap a lot of things too. but it kinda ends up for the better, maybe.
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seongminiz · 7 months ago
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no PLS yess.. also i don’t want to yap AT you i want ur opinion plsss more switch!matthew i think the dynamic between dom!jiwoong and switch!reader, switch!matthew goes crazyyyy like especially if the 3 of u live together or like matt and y/n are roommates and jiwoong visits… a LOT.
matthew can be a great dom sometimes but also he is such a good subby boy. i feel like he is/could be very obedient to jiwoong and would definitely be sooo flustered and dumb and bratty if jiwoong was provoking him.. like maybe y/n isn’t dating either but jiwoong knows matty likes you, so he’s always flirting with you and coming over to hangout just to piss matthew off but he also knows matthew would never make a move on you on his own because he wouldn’t want to make jiwoong mad at him >:(((( so matthew waits until jiwoong sets up a time for the 3 of you to “get to know each other better” but he’s so mad that jiwoong is getting to touch and kiss you, despite knowing that matthew has a crush on u so he gets so desperate and mean and ultimately subby for you because he wants you so bad that it hurts and he’ll do anything he needs to, to have you, even if he ends up humiliating himself <333333
i just kinda have a fantasy of legal zb1 members like jiwoong, and hanbin, and zhang hao cucking matthew (i think he would go crazy for it, he’d deny it but it’d be such a turn on for him)
- 🧁 anon
no bc even tho i keep pushing the soft dom!jiwoong agenda ,, maybe he was the real mean dom all along bc he lovessss to see matthew getting all upset but not being able to do nothing bc in the end u r not together so ....
went kinda crazy with this one woopsie so im putting the rest under the cut
n tbh cant even blame him bc matthew would look soooo cute all sulky n upset n doing anything u ask of him just bc u got a little too touchy with jiwoong in front of him ,, deep down he loves it tho („• ᴗ •„)
taking from what u said like almost at the start of ur ask , lets say u n matt r roommates , n jiwoong comes over often - sometimes just to hang out with the two of u (mostly just u while matthew sulks in his corner of the couch n acts like a kicked puppy until u give him some attention) , usually to have threesomes . n then theres the secret third option , which is when u - insanely oblivious abt matthew's crush - dont rlly feel like fucking both of them . thats cool thats valid , but instead of going to ur roommate/fwb/pseudo-situationship u decide to just call jiwoong .
he'd be so enthusiastic abt it bc to him thats a double win : he gets to fuck you AND he probably somehow gets to piss of matthew in one way or another
while u , still oblivious as ever , think u r doing a nice thing by giving matthew a heads up abt the fact jiwoong is coming over , poor poor matt thinks u r so cruel .... not only r u fucking his #1 arch enemy , you're also rubbing it into his face like its nothing ?!
clearly , the most reasonable thing for matthew would be just leaving for a walk or something until u r done with whatever u need to do . except matthew is anything but reasonable , n as much as he hates to admit it he does get off to the thought of jiwoong having u all to himself n fucking u in another room while matt cant even look at u , let alone join in .
which is why he'll probably find himself right beside ur door , listening to ur moans as jiwoong fucks u and desperately jerking off to all the sounds u let out . maybe in the hopes of either u or jiwoong catching him once u r done .. he wouldn't mind getting punished for being a dirty little perv :3
also the last thing u said REALLL SO REAL
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tarkenee · 6 months ago
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i wish we could completely divorce the concept of "fighting against the urge" when it comes to intrusive thoughts i feel like even when ppl are rightfully speaking against the sort of "eat a leaf dye my hair pink intrusive thoughts" n trying to be educational it still often leaves the impression that ppl w intrusive thoughts are ticking time bombs who are 24/7 at risk of "giving in" to the thoughts they have but we should respect them bc they havent so far <3
like im not gonna judge the way ppl talk abt their own intrusive thoughts u can do whatever but the sort of explanations like "if my intrusive thoughts won i would be in jail not cut my hair" or "ppl who have intrusive thoughts are actually less likely to do this bc it makes them feel bad n they try really really really hard not to even think abt it!!" just dont seem helpful to meee i get what ppl mean by that and i dont want to tell ppl how to speak abt their own experiences but to a person who doesnt get intrusive thoughts to that degree it's still gonna sound like those thoughts are actually true wants and urges but we're just good at supressing it ? like actually i wouldnt go to jail bc the thoughts arent actually smth that will ever manifest in the real world even if i "stop fighting against them"
literally one of the first things for ocd treatment (at least for me) was trying to accept my intrusive thoughts as smth that exists in my brain and not resist them or try to get rid of them bc that leads to the compulsions and increases the anxiety of them and i think thats smth that should be given more room when educating others, like 90% of the time ppl are "fighting against" the THOUGHT and are not at any actual risk of acting on the thought even if they stop that mental fight. the thought may try to convince them that they have an urge to do smth but at the end of the day it's mostly all abt resisting getting the thoughts, not resisting doing a crime or smth.
bc like i have intrusive thoughts abt violence for example but im also a pretty angry person and theres a huge easily discernible difference between my violent intrusive thoughts (distressing images that actively make me feel awful physically and mentally and want out of my brain) and me wanting to smack a bitch sometimes (smth that i actually have an urge to do but consciously stop myself bc i know better/dont want to hurt the person etc lol)
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narwhalandchill · 7 months ago
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Honestly. thinking back on it (am mega late yes) even though i like. ultimately enjoyed going thru fontaine AQ as an experience in terms of its emotional core and payoff with characters like navia neuvillette n furina having very strong writing and characterization i do think the overall AQ lore and worldbuilding is probably the messiest in the entire game and feels like all of its opportunities and potential was underutilized the most and thats just. Unfortunate
like yes its inazuma thats the most infamous for how shitty and rushed its execution was (and rightly so) and yes it Also had its share of issues with nothingburgers like the whole statue thing going nowhere or how shoddily constructed the entire it-was-all-the-fatui deal was
but i still think it has a stronger ground to stand on like. all aspects of the story if just slightly differently written and centered around better in-lore reasoning and logic. Are internally consistent with the world ya know. and would have produced a good story. like it could be fixed easily. no need for me to go Full Rewrite here but like just to make a point:
a shut-in deity paranoid and trauma-stricken is ignorant to her peoples wishes and enacts an eternal rule that stifles their hopes and dreams. discontentment in the nation (NOT just the vision holders it shouldve been ALL inazumans divided on this i s2g) has been on the rise but only outside forces stoking the flames push it into overdrive as they seek to exploit the unrest to get the gnosis. couldve brought the whole "peoples faith powers the archon" if they wanted to pop off bc then the fatui by sparking the civil war are Directly weakening eis power like Thats solid! less ei was innocent and only the fatui led to the bad stuff more. ei is flawed makes shit choices and leaves an opening for their operations etc etc etc.
foreshadow signoras past and distrust of the gods in like a tense encounter or two early on (ritou maybe?) where she hints at a deeper reason behind her actions. no need to trauma dump just have her like idk mock us for seeking the archons for "help" in finding our sibling slash truth of the world and coincidentally use wording that directly alludes to what we already heard from dainsleif earlier abt the cataclysm and archons sus so its like an Oh Shit. she can namedrop or allude to venti to imply its personal or sth to further recontextualize her actions in mondstadt as well.
and so on. like then fixing the rebellion (ppl join for other reasons than just the VHD so its a more common cause etc maybe some ppl dont care abt the decrees as much but the drafting of civilians into the ever expanding war effort goes too far) and stuff like that. inazuma had the ingredients for a consistent good story they just fumbled it completely
whereas fontaine tells like. a much stronger and more hype emotional core journey for its focal points as u go thru them but also it just. Genuinely falls apart if you poke at the setting and world for a bit too long its really just swiss cheese and that sucks
like as much as i Do love the narwhal in a very normal and sane way i still think story wise it absolutely goes into the signora tier of mishandled AQ boss fights except Even worse than hers bc. signora Fits inazuma even if she was handled poorly. but with the narwhal (and by extension childes entire presence as happy as i was to see him at all) its just... kinda random? and got pretty much brushed aside even during the AQ like we get the opera hall cutscene and then theres a THIRTY MINUTE cutscene with focalors before the actual fight happens like way to just. eliminate any urgency from the situation bruh. and then at the end both the narwhal and childe kinda just got plot deviced into hyping up skirk and surtalogis name drop. which rly fucking sucks. 99.7% of fandom never reads the AQ fight boss drop to consider the narwhals a sentient thinking feeling entity and not just a dumb big pet bc skirk called it that etc.
childe in general i dont think im necessarily like. as negative on the way he was handled as some ppl are (tho the general sentiments are 100% shared) but its still very much like. a disappointment w his lack of presence and voiced lines and in terms of how a lot of the intrigue set up in the AQ Especially the oratrice judgement just got shrugged off all "who knows 🤷‍♀️" like Are You Serious. and also p much using him as a neuvi hype device like . I saw it i knew ppl were going to be insufferable abt it & was right
i also saw a comment talking abt how childe Being the purple guy inside the narwhal just corrupted or sth wouldve given him a more heightened presence during the boss fight and while im a hater of that concept for other reasons (mostly the. narwhal must have malicious designs for ajax thing) i cant disagree with that take in terms of the story aspect. like if the narwhal ate him when he fell back in (which i kinda? assume mustve happened lmao like where did he Go 😭😭) it Wouldve been a much greater moment for sth like that to be there.
But bc i personally dont like the Brainwashed Puppet Angle i think how id have done it is just. sure make the purple guy more reminiscent of ajax n his fight style maybe even FL . But. feature an actual fucking cutscene in the stomach of us realizing its Not Him. but instead its the Narwhal Emulating Him as a spectral summon thingy. bc it ate his dumb unconscious ass for safekeeping or w/e and is now copying his homework of "use a manifestation of the other as a combat technique" (v romantic btw. soulmates real). like DUDE we had childes earlier AQ appearance Actively Bring Up this EXACT thing! he uses a hydro construct mimicking the narwhal as a combat technique bc of how their encounter rewired his brain chemistry. and now the narwhal needs to improv a more humanoid angle to combat in its stomach after it ate us. so like pov ur the narwhal whats the closest point of reference to draw from at that moment?
Oh Right. the guy ur been fighting for 40+ days . Your guy (derogatory) 💀 like they have a telepathic link who knows if it could just straight up cross reference Our combat moves from the flashes its getting from childes memories of seeing us in action and utilizing that.
like it wouldve been so sick and still left the nature of their connection relatively open ended. like it ate him skirk would be separating them at the end and maybe comment on it a bit and his whereabouts during the entire thing wouldve been Way Less confusing. The knight dude being a mimic of ajax' battle technique would thematically connect to the golden house fight and his hydro whale technique and its just. the current electro dude is just so Huh. like its a good jumpscare and i love the OST obviously but it getting No Lore NOR cutscene sucks so bad
(And like if they wanted the combat design to be so that theres no cutscene interrupting the transition between being swallowed and entering the stomach phase just make it an AQ exclusive one. and if we cant have traveler talk and logistics of bringing paimon/neuvi to make the shocked observation of "is that.... him? no... its just an imitation???" or w/e . Just have us FLASH BACK to childes own fucking dialogue as the phantom him is summoned to face us where he mentions 1) traces of the narwhal on him and 2) the basis behind his hydro summon technique. so traveler can have a silent !!!!!! Realization that he got ate or whatever and now his narwhal is stealing his ideas jsjskdksirigkf)
Anyway i swear this wasnt just abt those two im so sorry . but like yeah its just a fucking shame and also the narwhal being just like . Means to an End in the prophecy feels kinda meh but like i dont have a solid idea on how that would even rly be fixed but yeah. underutilized my both beloveds
Back to fontaine general stuff tho i kinda do think that . hoyo almost missed the trees for the forest w it all if u will excuse the mid metaphor . like they told a very strong emotional story w neuvi and furina and navia But it came at the cost of a highly illogical lore and worldbuilding and its just An Issue if u dwell on it even a little bit and its rly a shame
like they were going for this justice theme of maybe AI justicebot is not The Way (TM) and people viewing court as a spectacle rather than a show of justice but then went never fucking where with it in terms of Maybe This Needs Changing . they made that entire champion duelists a thing despite it being So fucking stupid fundamentally like it just relies on nobody with enough raw power to just solo any duelist ever getting into the ring
(no credit for this tho this was a comment thread i ran into on leaks sub. there was also a point made abt how childe dueling and winning against clorinde when hes accused wouldve been such a great moment of like both showcasing clorindes role and linking to their earlier sparring and holding back thing and also that maybe the system sucks when this is possible and while i get the story needed him in jail so he can reunite w his narwhal . im now mad this didnt happen. give him a W in combat hoyo.)
like theres this entire thing about flawed justice in fontaine that is present in the 4.0 story but then it just...... Disappears. Bc AI justicebot was anti celestia archon deleter all along and it finished its job so its no longer a fundamental ethical issue for the legal system and fontaines ppl to grapple with and confront shit like childes sentencing. And furina wanted dramatic trials bc of what she was told by focalors but since she retires its now just neuvillette whos super fair so everything is fixed .
im not as big of a hater of act III as some but like thinking abt these things further makes me like it less and less like Yes they wanted this meropide vs regular fontaine dichotomy explored and all but thinking of it is just. i wonder how worthwhile the opportunity cost was in there (i have no correct answer btw)
bc . if you keep the childe jailed bc justice AI bot. they shouldve shown the people responding to it . bc that entire highly controversial judgement is Literally accompanied by the solving of the serial disappearances case AFTER multiple ""culprits"" had already been imprisoned for it which i actually forgot (thanks same reddit comment for reminding me) like Whats with those people then????? and just. Everything to do with the entire case including childes deal shouldve been a much bigger social upheaval anyway like ik stuff like furinas SQ shows ppl personally affected in the aftermath but i mean in bigger scale.
And Then if we like run a bit with this alternate hypothetical idea of childe no diffing the court system (clorinde im sure youre powerful but like i put more faith in those ruin guards that lasted 4s against FL than u girl) so hes simultaneously kind of a criminal let off scot free but also its so stupid to think a guy thats like 25 at most is involved in a 20yr old solved case it couldve been actual source of political discord. and like if you need to get him to the narwhal for plot reasons its Rly Not That Hard theyre obsessed with each other bro gets pinged a whale call once and its like yes honey we jailbreak for reunion tonight (hes going to throw hands Immediately bc hes the toxic battle maniac one). also yes ik they wrote it weird so technically ajax cant duel after the oratrice decides hes involved which is major intrigue point (that canon wasted but oh well) but like. they couldve written differently idc. he couldve even gone off investigating why AI bot considers him guilty on his own and then jeepers!! speedrun glitchless any% spawned into the primordial sea!! hes missing! but like this isnt a well articulated idea whatsoever lmao im just winging some shit
meropides existence in general was also just weird. again i enjoyed the character writing it enabled for wrio and the HotH trio and despite disliking childe just being MIA i do like how the storytelling around his escape expands on his social intelligence and street smarts still. but as an entity the fortress is just sorta there as a system that Obviously shouldnt be Like this when its literally the other side of the coin to fontaines Already dubious legal system but then they went the whole. its a gathering place for exiles (still a prison)!! a home for those alienated by the surface world after so long (so why KEEP them in there that long)!!!! protectors of egerias secret (okay Sure. but whats the need post prophecy then)!!!! And its like. okay im not about to uhh. overstep my understanding of the risk a chinese company limited by often nebulous and inconsistent censorship would take if they went for a full on prison reform/abolishing angle w the writing like i dont think that was in the cards. But it still means meropide as a system just falls apart if u think abt its existence critically At All and its hard to say whether fontaines writing omitting sth like it entirely wouldve ultimately been better for the overall focus of the story anyway. but yeah
and its just. im sure theres even more that i havent even noted here (logistics of nobody drowning in the flood & rest of teyvat being unaffected etc etc) bc this is just a rant ramble not a coherent analysis but my point in all of this is that the abundance of issues like these just kinda add up so that by the end its kinda like fontaines simultaneously the AQ that id say has the highest highs in terms of its best moments and strongest emotional beats and how much heart it carries . Like im not taking that away from it.
but its also the AQ with like genuinely the messiest fucking groundwork in lore and larger worldbuilding implications whose aftermath leaves the most plot threads barely explored or just discarded altogether by the end and its just?? Such a weird mess like i very much enjoyed it despite the problems and for me it still overtakes sumeru in many aspects but i cant pretend those problems arent there . like consistency of writing and lore accounted for sumeru is still the best AQ
(oh also. the fact that to my knowledge no fucking fontaine NPC Ever reacts to the events throughout the AQ is fucking insane. like other nations could get away w sth like that better but. THE ENTIRE NATION FLOODED. How the fuck arent they talking. ppl in meropide post act IV abt the close call. ppl who saw the narwhal in the opera house in V. Like . HUH???)
but yeah its . A weird situation w fontaines writing as a whole . & yes im giga late to the discussion HSJSJSKSI but oh well thats my brain for ya
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phagodyke · 4 months ago
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was gonna say smth else but this turned into a vent sorry everyone just ignore. typical weekend post on this blog u know how it is here we go👍
#wild ik so many ppl getting married meanwhile im over here struggling to convince myself my friends even care abt me or want me around#pathetic to admit but i cant even fantasise abt someone loving me bc im too insecure n emotionally unstable#my mind just shoots the idea down like whoa. unrealistic. ur incapable of expressing or receiving affection in any way that matters#no matter how badly u want to... and even if someone did well u wouldnt believe them most of the time#gotta get out of the fucking labyrinth first i couldnt inflict this shit on anyone i cared abt#but it makes me so desperately sad sometimes i dont know how im ever going to get out of this ive been trying for years and years#and im a little better at it snd i dont feel like this all of the time i know it just comes around and itll pass again#but im tired of being in so much emotional pain so frequently. and shouldering it so alone. theres such a disconnect between myself and#others and i dont know how to bridge that i don't know how to stop feeling so isolated and unwanted !!!!!! im trying so hard#it doesnt even bother me w relative strangers in my life like i dont get insecure at all around them i like meeting new ppl#bc theres like. no expectations i guess. like ik they dont care abt me personally and idk them well enough to do that either#and its fun but it doesnt satisfy needs that i have like i need to feel close + connected to ppl i need to care abt them + feel cared for#but as soon as i do start to care abt ppl it gets all tangled and i end up getting rly badly hurt over and over. thru no fault but my own#bc im constantly alienating myself and bc i struggle so much w shit like physical affection which is frustratingly rly critical for me!!!!#it wouldnt fucking matter if i didnt like or want affection ik some ppl are fine without i wish it worked like that for me#but nope instead i have to be constantly messed up over my complete fucking inability to express myself in any form#and ik it makes everyone around me so uncomfortable so it just becomes self reinforcing and eventually they drift and leave me behind#and i just do that over and over and over and every time ill tell myself ill do better ill try harder and itll get easier and someone will#and it happens again and right now im at the stage where the abandonment fear is starting to kick in which is awful n paralysing#and usually a precursor to actually being abandoned ehich is always my own fault bc i start behaving so erratically out of fear or defense#its self fulfilling and im trying. im trying so hard not to let it overwhelm me again and not to start acting out and freaking ppl out#and im coping with it okay i think but just hurts me a lot its all internal my rejection sensitivity is gradually ticking up and up#and argh!!!!!!!!! and some days im okay and some days its like this and i dont know what todo when its like this im so tired and in pain#its not even that bad today tbf. once im done typing this to get it out ill be able to do smth else and distract mysrlf for a bit#and then calling friends later too so exposure therapy innit. but itll be fun and i love them but i will probably also feel very bad after#or even possibly during but thats okay ill still manage fine im not going to let it interfere i dont want it controlling my fucking life#i am going to have a nice time and be okay despite it all. even if i do have to fucking battle this every day forever#and even if it stops me living my life to the extent i want and feeling as ok as i want i just have to come to terms with and be ok w it#and im not going to be!!! a fucking asshole abt it!!! i dont want to hurt anyone else thats the most important thing no matter how i feel#thr rest is all secondary and ik i cant help a few little bumps here and there but trying hardest to keep it separate its not negotiable
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grecoromanyaoi · 5 months ago
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so I follow you (ie. I have not come from the callout post, wherever that is?) and I think it's the "people who are closeted not for safety reasons" that is getting people's hackles up. like, I know that I'm not the person you're making fun of wrt closet cases (I don't declare myself a weird transmisogynistic authority!) but not being able to pursue medical transition is a) complicated and b) raw so it's still difficult to see that post and *not* feel like I'm the person you're making fun of, if that makes sense? obviously do with that what you will, and I'm sorry people are being weird at you
like ig what ur saying but its honestly not even abt medical transitioning. its more abt socially transitioning in any capacity. if u dont transition in any way n nobody knows ur trans or even thinks ur trans u obv have different experiences w transphobia than out trans ppl (even stealth trans ppl have diff relationship than out trans ppl, but they mustve been out at some point right). n pointing that out isnt transphobia. n to have a guy that lives 99% of his life being perceived as a cis woman by one and all try and explain to me what facing discrimination as a trans person is like (for example, medical gatekeeping, which they dont experience, or being percieved as trans publicly, or having to face the legal shenanigans regarding sex change, etc.) is highly inappropriate bc thats my experience, not their. its like me as a white person of north african descent walking up to a visibly brown person w an ethnic name and trying to explain to them how theyre wrong abt the racism they face, actually, and i know better. and saying 'hey its kind of fucked up of u to say as a white person' isnt racist, just like this isnt transphobic.
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tomboyyyaoi · 2 years ago
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SOOOOO many more thoughts than last week ok
how much time has passed since ww's experimentation? i like the idea of him not ageing faster but just ageing to a certain point and continuing from there? or ageing to a certain point then being stuck like that? but bc the time is indeterminate and we dont know how old he was when he was sent off (kinda like the manga) im gnna keep assuming hes an adult and not caring♡ not my problem♡ also of we take the fact rollos whole thing was 20 years ago and the doctor still looked the same in both wolfwoods and rollos flashbacks then??? idk, im not jumping to anything yet, the time is still uncertain just like it was in the manga and honestly? thats fine by me im absolutely smelling an age discourse revival and i will be killing myself im abt to be so brutal with blocking new fans i can tell
nick been smoking that zaza since he was fresh out the womb
livio and nicks relationship. im bawling. they r brothers. im on the floor...
legato giving me mean twink vibes for this version im actually loving it hes such a petty insecure bitch "dont talk about my hair" *breaks nicks spine* LMAO i love him, he made me giggle, i love a petty gay villain whos genuinely a threat
meryl REFUSING to let the investigation go. her boss is like "its getting a little too dangerous for us we better scoot back 2 office" n shes NOT having it, her reckless driving and complete dismissal of whatever rob says, i love u queen
THE BACKSTORY SEQUENCES and wolfwoods hallucinations were animated so beautifully... omg.
not enough of livio yet to get a read on his characterisation but. please be a little similar to the manga at least. please.
lil nick n livio r so cute. they r so little. putting them in the blender.
rob couldve entirely been like "no meryl we need to go back" but the fact he still let her drive and still let her pursue the steamer with his only protests being stern warnings tells me hes a little curious to know what the fuck vashs deal is
wolfwood and vash absolutely fucking screaming at eachother. couples quarrel♡
i am SO excited for BDN next week
seems that the gung ho guns are basically blended with the eye of michael at this point, it did click they havent been calling them the gung ho guns so i assume they just. merged them together. pretty cool, not a bad choice
vash being quite cold toward meryl n rob, his honestly really mean response to wolfwood calling them his buddies stabbed me in the heart a bit, but is that a coping mechanism for him to not get attatched or is it an actual effect of him forcing himself to detatch from people so its easier to leave them. ouu. it hurted me a little. it did. EVEN WOLFWOOD CALLED HIM COLD FOR IT AND HE JUST KILLED A MAN LIKE. YESTERDAY
ok thats all i can think of rn gnna go watch the ep again see u all next week
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okkottsus · 2 years ago
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I love reading your analysis of Nagireo!
One thing I was wondering, what do you think of Nagi (foreshadowed) future slump?
I feel like things will get dire for him, and I can't help but wonder how Reo would react.
Nagi feels very... emotionally immature and while Reo can be very fiery and we saw how emotional he can get, he's the one that feels more in touch with his own emotions and has better life experience.
For better or worse, being away from Reo forced Nagi to confront his own feelings more.
I wonder if Reo won't realize they got back together too early and leave him (this time maybe more amicably? Or maybe force himself to leave him) for his own sake.
Ego's dialog feels very ominous... they were very happy in that moment but there is a very sense of "now what?".
thank u so much, i feel like i never express myself well enough esp with characters and relationships im passionate abt so that means a lot 🥺
yeah i get what u mean about nagi's emotional immaturity...in the latest match, when isagi asked him how he was able to make his best play yet a reality, nagi  didnt really understand what had happened. he only wanted to beat isagi, that has been his first goal, the first step to achieve the bigger dream he shares with reo. 
and while he himself couldnt see that, reo was the first to notice despite everything that happened between them, so he created a chance for him to have a 1v1 with isagi. 
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the problem is that, as isagi points out later, if u dont understand how u made something happen, you probably wont be able to be consistent and replicate it (this has been a recurring theme of blk since the start of the manga):
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a goal that u only made happen because u had the person who knows u the best and is your closest friend give you exactly what you need in the moment, has little value in the grand scheme of things. Without a clear goal and reo’s help, nagi wouldnt have been able to do something like that. 
So the next step he should be taking is working on his weapons, instead of relying on the perfect opportunities reo can provide him with.
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maybe its time for nagi to try and catch up to reo, and not only in terms of play-making 
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but also in terms of self awareness 
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i also love the fact that while reo can seem completely selfless when he declares this, he is also completely selfish, cause at the end of the day hes doing this for his dream, for himself. he loves playing with nagi and making him score goals, but his hard work which got him to where he is now doesnt rely on nagi being there, he hasnt abandoned himself in favor of nagi. 
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BUT he still seems to always choose nagi over anyone when they are playing together and even though my shipping heart is tempted, i think thats not a good thing at all... cause their cooperation may be top class, but it also makes them predictable after a while. 
reo has learnt to play without nagi, but he needs to learn how play with nagi without forgetting everyone else on his team. 
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so the way i see it, reo has made more significant progress than nagi, but he still needs to work on seeing the bigger picture when nagi is by his side.
nagi on the other hand has even more things he needs to work on. he shouldnt feel reassured bc of that one (miracle) goal or bc he managed to beat isagi once. if he ended up satisfied with just that, then he wouldnt belong in the world of professional players
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Ego is right when he said that confidence and delusion are 2 different things. Nagi needs the power that will enable him to fight alone in any situation and to obtain that power, he has to confront his feelings, his weapons and his shortcomings. and that demands soul searching, practice and a lot of thinking, all things i bet nagi thinks are a pain pftt.
but i want to be optimistic and think of this as another challenge he (actually, both of them) will have to conquer. im very conflicted though, cause the way i see it, what reo needs to work on now requires them to be on the same team, while what nagi needs to work on requires alone time.
in conclusion, things may have worked out between them in terms of understanding each other, but im hoping they start understanding themselves more; acknowledging their weaknesses and taking the necessary measures to overcome them. 
i do think that reo the way he is now is more likely to realise what needs to be done than nagi, whose issues are the most urgent in my opinion. so i can def see them going their separate ways for a while again, whether its reo making that decision, or nagi, or both of them together (with the latter being the ideal for me).
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octoxicash · 9 days ago
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abandoning down all my twt accs for the forseeable future for real now, wiping my public accs art too sometime today
some thoughts on it bc i feel a bit emotional abt it? is that stupid? over twt?? . idk give me better things to think abt or draw in my inbox or smthn
my OctoXicAsh twt acc was literally my first acc under that name, ig besides my Splatoon 2 acc where i adopted it. like before that it was shit like. CattyKat or smthn. i know ShadowKat or UltimateKat was one at some point. that user is probably still out there somewhere on League or smthn. stupid shit shit like that but not ME yknow?. OctoXic / OtoXicAsh was like my first For Real Me usernames ever and obviously i still use it to this day. so that acc feels special to me ig
it was my first social media platform too (not counting Pinterest bc i didnt use it as a social thing and still dont) and i met my bestest of friends and my now boyfriend too thru the dsmp/mcyt boom in 2021. id say that was my first truely interactive fandom which is an cringeass shit to say at my grown age but my families were too poor to afford a phone for me til i was like 16/17 and before that i just,, wasnt a very adventurous kid on the computer. 2021 jump into twt and fanart was my first step outside of my own bubble, and during the pandemic it became a lifeline. and like. Elon buying twt sealed its grave, there was no doubt abt it but i was def one of those "i go down w my ship" people bc thats STILL my biggest acc by a LONG SHOT and i had made WAY too many great memories and friends to let it go. up until literally today, my priv twt OctoIsYelling is STILL essentially a massive groupchat for me an my friends in an acc form, interactive and communicative while still letting me be in my own page. its better than insta or tumblr in that sense and it was PERFECT before it went to shit
but now the site genuinely barely functions man. its slow and laggy and reloads constantly and eats my battery worse than SKY COTL. AN ACHEIVEMENT. the app just refuses to work at all if i have my phone plugged in for whatever reason and idk how to fix it. i thought it was a me problem for so long until 1 post talking abt it changed everything. like it GENUINELY DOESNT WORK. and it SUCKS. its plauged with adds for a subscription that no one reasonable would pay for and straight up hard alt-right politics. the bots are outrageous like its sooo bad its so bad i havent opened my dms on public acc in at least a yr. sorry if anyone tried to get ahold of me. the algorithm that used to be like at least half decent is now ALL doom and bait and SHIT, its not even rlly worth it to try n cultivate ur spaces now bc no matter what shit u dont want is being pushed in ur face. the transphobia is so unbelievably bad, and while ive done my best to fix my tl its still so ass. THEY TOOK AWAY TWT CIRCLES MY BEST FRIEND 💔💔💔💔 I USED TO USE THAT FOR SHOWING OFF ART FOR MY FRIENDS TO MY OTHER FRIENDS WITHOUT THE ONE WHO ITS FOR SEEING💔💔💔💔💔💔
despite all that keeps going wrong or being fucked over i still held on for so long but i just CANT in right mind stay on the site any longer when its actively feeding its generative ai. ive been small enough and lucky enough to where no one has targeted me and used my shit (that i know of) but now its completely unavoidable and its UPSETTING
i want my big friend gc that was my web of oomfs and moots back. bluesky has hope for me but theres no priv accs and im not comfortable enough to air out every thought i have publicly. idk when privs r coming there but i hope its soon :( i miss old twt so much and i only caught glimpses of it before it was bought out. im so thankful for my time there but i cant help but feel hurt yknow?
idk if anyone else understands me rlly bc ppl have just been so frustrated w the site/app and the cons have def been outweighing the pros, but i still loved my time there. i hope im making sense. it sucks. it feels too personal. thats THE OctoXicAsh and OctoIsYelling accs. that was essentially my journal. :(
i dont have the heart to deactivate my accs esp w the load of history i have on them i RLLY dont want it gone, but ill be wiping my art from my art acc and ceasing all activity on them indefinitely. probably forever. hell.
thank u for reading all that if u did. im feeling sooo fine abt everything in my life rn. everything is falling to peices lately but were sooo fine. we ball so hard
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