#even if they don't appear in season 1 they will have the chance to be in later seasons

[loveharlow]

SEVEN [POGUELANDIA] - FEVER DREAM

PAIRING ‧₊˚ JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS‧₊˚[3.7k] It's been a week since you and your friends were dropped into the middle of nowhere. But the self-proclaimed 'Poguelandia' has served as a break for you all from the drama and chaos back home, but it may also present chances for growth and changes, good and bad...

WARNING(S)‧₊˚ swearing, kie x reader drama (again), omission, mentions of self-doubt, allusions to suicidal thoughts (if you squint), mentions of injuries

NOW PLAYING‧₊˚

A/N‧₊˚ I think I finally found my motivation again so here's chapter 1/3 of Poguelandie before we get into season 3 of SVN, also, taglist ppl, ik it's been acting funky for a minute so I'll see if it works better in the comments, also new taglist people, please use the taglist form in my pinned post to be added, it makes it a lot easier to keep track of new people who want to be added so i don't have to go through my replies and mentions and blah blah blah

˗ˏˋ series masterlist ˎˊ˗

THE SALTY OCEAN BREEZE WHIPPED THROUGH YOUR HAIR AS YOU SURVEYED THE VAST EXPANSE OF THE DESERTED ISLAND, Poguelandia as you’d all claimed it. 

It’d been a week since you and your friends washed up on the shore of the unclaimed piece of land — carving your symbol into a tree and crafting a flag that swayed in the wind. Sure, a chicken in a coconut bra, smoking a J in Crocs wasn’t the most intimidating “stay off of our land” flag but it was something.

You were planted in the sand, next to your dwindling bonfire, watching your friends surf in the water using the poorly constructed boards the guys had made — unreliable pieces of driftwood and lots of twine apparently made an oddly useful flotation device.

Unfortunately, you weren’t able to join in on the festivities. Your personal island nurse, Cleo, basically forbade you from entering the water, claiming the salt water would only soften the scar tissue she’d burned into your leg with a heated knife she’d held over a raging bonfire. The smell of burning flesh and the pain of the scorching metal against your thigh only served as a distant nightmare, making you cringe at the memory. 

“Hey,” A voice appeared next to you, looking up to find Kiara’s bikini clad frame looking down at you, brown curls dripping with sea water. “How’re you doing?” Over the last week, you two had found some common ground. You didn’t expect things to be normal right away, or possibly ever again. But you were glad you could still talk to her. “Need some company?”

You shrugged, a longing smile on your face as you glanced at the rest of your peers fooling around in the water before turning back to her. “I’m doin’ okay, but feel free to join me. …Or did my nurse send you over here to make sure I don’t sneak into the water?” You asked, playfully squinting your eyes as Kie took a seat next to you, digging her feet into the sand.

The girl laughed lightly, head dipping down as the lowering sun illuminated the highlights in her hair while casting an orange hue over the deserted island. “No Nurse Cleo supervision here. Promise.” But the humor in her words didn’t seem genuine, almost like she had something to say. As if something else was on the tip of her tongue. “...How do you feel about her, by the way?” Kiara asked quietly, avoiding your eyes as she played with the grains of sand — letting the materials slip through her fingers.

“Who? Cleo?” You asked, a lopsided smile on your face.

“Yeah, like…do you trust her?” Kie asked, finally meeting your eyes. “Do you think she even really trusts us? I mean, she said it herself — we’re just her better option.”

You simply shrugged, making a face of uncertainty. “I don’t know…I don’t think she meant it like that.” You defended the girl. “I wouldn’t say I fully trust her just yet, but I do think she’s genuinely on our side.” You told your friend, watching as she drew her lips into a thin line, nodding almost as if she expected your answer but still wasn’t satisfied with it.

“...And you don’t find it weird that she just decided to up and run off with six strangers?” Kiara prodded, tone growing increasingly more confused, bordering annoyance. “And then saying she wants a cut of the gold? Like, come on...”

You couldn’t help but chuckle out of mild disbelief. “You don’t find half of the things we’ve done weird? Running from the cops even though we’re innocent? And, like, one-hundred other things that don’t make sense?” You countered, shaking your head. “And her wanting a cut of the gold isn’t crazy, in my opinion.” You shrugged, leaning back on your arms, fiddling with a leaf between your fingers. “I mean, she saved half of our lives. And she’s the main reason we made it off that ship. Without her help, who knows what could’ve happened…”

“I think you’re giving her too much credit.” Kie scoffed, standing from her spot and brushing herself off. You couldn’t help but make a face of offense at words, hearing the clear disagreement and disdain in her tone.

“...I’d probably be dead without her, Kie.” You spoke slowly, eyeing the girl as she paced smally on her feet, rolling her eyes as you continued speaking. “If anything, she deserves more credit than we’ve given her.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that we can’t trust everyone just because they help us. And I think being on this island is making everyone forget the fact that she could still be a threat to us-”

“But she isn’t. She’s stuck here, too-”

“She chose to be.”

“Exactly.” You quipped, tone short. “She chose to come with us and be stranded here. We all did.” You put it simply. “Look, I know we should be weary of who we let around us, but you’re not even giving her a chance.”

At your words, Kiara fell silent, running a tense hand through her mess of wet curls. “None of you get it.” She sighed under her breath, shaking her head side to side. “When she screws us over, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Was the last thing she offered in response to you before walking off into the trees, disappearing. 

You simply shook your head — what could Cleo have done for Kie of all people to have such a disdain for her? Distrust was one thing and that was reasonable. But it was clear that the island girl put a sour taste in Kiara’s mouth. Just days ago, Kiara brought up how much you’d been hanging out with the girl in question, making a joke about being replaced. But maybe there wasn’t as much humor there as you’d initially thought…

“Hey, where’d you go?” Kiara asked, looking up at you from where she was digging holes near the shore, looking for turtle hatches.

“Banana Leaf hunting. Cleo says they're good for healing and she was gonna try to make a bandage for my leg.” You replied, shielding your eyes from the sun as you limped closer to her.

“Well, when you find one, make sure it’s big enough for both of you.”

“...What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing. I just figured it’d be easier if it was bigger considering you and her are like attached at the hip now.” She muttered, side-eyeing you with a slight smile that let you know her words were lighthearted.

“Oh, whatever. Don’t be like that. I just don’t want her to feel like an outcast.” You scoffed with a playful smile.

“Yeah, yeah. Just know you can’t replace me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

…Did Kiara feel that Cleo was a threat to the group…or to her? Caution or jealousy? And if it was the latter, was it platonic or something deeper? You guessed that would always be the question now…

“CAN YOU FEEL IT NOW?” JJ asked for the fifth time as his index and middle finger pressed into the skin below your knee — wide, blue eyes boring into your own. The boy was still slightly damp from surfing as the two of you sat under the shade of a palm tree — your other five friends some feet away, laughing around a bonfire as the sun finally set.

“Yes, I can feel it, JJ.” You reassured the boy once more, rolling your eyes in playful annoyance. “I’m not going to lose my leg, you know.”

“Cleo said to make sure that your leg isn’t cold or discolored and to make sure you still had feeling. I’m just following the doctor’s orders.” He told you, continuing to press his fingers up the length of your leg. “Especially when the doctor has a machete and an attitude problem…” He muttered.

At this, you sighed, throwing your head back. “Ughhh. You too?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow as JJ made a face of confusion —sitting up straighter. 

“What do you mean “me too”?”

“Why is everyone giving her such a hard time?” You asked, tilting your head.

“Who? Cleo?” JJ inquired, sitting down across from you and dusting the sand off of his hands.

“Yes.” You answered. “I mean, she saved our asses when she didn’t have to. And she hasn’t given us any reason to not at least try to trust her. We’ve been stranded for a week. If she had some trick up her sleeve, I’m sure she would’ve used it by now. We don’t really know her and she doesn’t really know us. She’s not as rude as she may come off once you get to know her. But you guys won’t talk to her.” You defended.

“...Well, I was just joking, Princess. Cleo’s good in my book, she even taught me some knife tricks.” JJ chuckled, surprised at how you jumped to the girl’s defense. “And I’m not sure what you mean.” He continued, face contorting in confusion. “John B and Sarah seem pretty cool with her and I’m pretty sure Pope has a thing for her, even if he doesn’t know it. And Kie… hasn’t said much to her, I don’t think.” He pondered, seeming to connect the dots. “Did Kie say somethin’? Is that it?”

“I don’t know…” You started, twiddling with your fingers. “She’s suspicious of her, I guess. She thinks Cleo’s only with us because we’re her best bet and because she’s still holding out on the hope that we’ll get the gold and she basically thinks we’re all being blind to the possibility of Cleo being a threat. And she came at me so… aggressive about it. It was weird…”

“...Are you sure Kie doesn’t have another issue with you?” JJ asked, squinting his eyes from the emerging moonlight as he looked at you. “I know girl drama is usually lowkey.”

You met his eyes as his words registered in your mind. It was at this moment that you realized JJ still had no idea of the real reason for the crumbling of your life-long friendship with Kiara. Or rather the reason for it. And you were questioning whether to speak now or forever hold your peace…

“I noticed you guys kind of seemed off for a while. But I figured it was just something small.” 

“Uh, yeah…” You trailed off, avoiding your boyfriend’s eyes. “Something like that.” You shrugged, jutting your bottom lip out.

“I’m sure you guys will work it out.” He shrugged mindlessly, rubbing a hand up and down your calf. “You always do.”

“...I don’t know, I think it’s a bit different this time…” You said solemnly. It was the first real wave of emotions that you’d felt about the situation. Kiara was in love with you. And your friendship with her would never be the same. It was a strange, unwelcomed thought. Kiara was like a sister to you. To experience the fall of your relationship with her had a particularly rough sting to it. 

“What makes you say that?” JJ asked, pinching his eyebrows together. You didn’t respond immediately, eyes flicking up to his then back down to where they were focused on his fingers rubbing circles into your leg. “Hey,” JJ called to gain your attention, your eyes finally locking with his own. “You can talk to me. You know that, right?”

You shook your head with vigor, pinching your lips together before speaking. “No, no, I can’t. Not this time.”

“Baby-”

“JJ, I can’t.” You said exhaustedly. You wanted to tell him so bad, to get the weight and confusion off of your shoulders. But it wasn’t your place. “It’s Kie’s business. It’s not my place-”

“It is.” He tried, clearly growing frustrated. “Whatever happened is clearly affecting you both. That makes it your place and I’m sure Kie will get over you telling me-”

“It’s not that simple.” You snapped, expression softening when you realized how aggressively low your tone had dropped. Sighing, you continued. “I’m sorry, okay? But it really isn’t that easy, J. It’s really…weird and complicated and-” You stopped your ranting when JJ leaned forward, moving the hand that was on your leg to cradle your cheek.

“It’s okay.” He assured you, offering a light smile before pecking you softly on the lips --- the taste of sea salt lingering faintly. “I don’t want to make things worse between you two, okay? I get it.” He told you, but you could see that he was still, if not more, curious about it now. You realized you may have put yourself into a tighter space than you were sitting in before. Which would only make it harder to get out of. 

NIGHT HAD COMPLETELY FALLEN BY NOW. It was so weird how the days seemed to go by much faster. It was like there was never enough time in the day now to do anything. Where it seemed like the sun never went down when you were being shot at, chased, and kidnapped — it seemed like there was nothing but the moon and stars now.

The boys were starting another fire, since yours had gone out, while you and the other girls lounged around — watching them twirl sticks and blow into the smoke. Eventually, John B sighed, side-eyeing the four of you. “Since none of you want to help, can you at least go and find more firewood? Or something to eat? These fish are only gonna last us tonight.”

“The sun’s gone down.” Sarah quipped, a quizzical brow raised. “Can’t exactly fish in the dark.”

“No, but you can hunt.” JJ retorted, shooting the girl a grimace from his place in front of the growing fire.

“Do we look like hunters to you?” Cleo shot back, twirling her knife around her fingers. “Plus, I thought we agreed the woods were off limits. Tigers, bears, and all that?”

“And there’s no reason to go right now.” You added, adjusting your legs where you were sitting in the sand to be more comfortable. “We have tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that…”

“Normally, I’d agree.” Pope sighed, looking up at the sky where the clouds that did still remain, there but faint, loomed. “But I’m eighty-percent sure there’s a storm coming. All the birds and whatever else will eat all the plants and fruits and they’ll be less fish because of the falling tide. And who knows how long it’s going to last…”

“...Do you guys think we should start looking for ways to call for help?” Kie offered meekly. "It's been a week and I don't think anyone's looking for us..."

“And how would we do that?” JJ asked.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged, sitting up straighter. “This can’t be all there is to this island. There has to be something — a house, an abandoned shack — anything. But…we can’t stay here forever.”

“It’s only been a week, Kie.” JJ dismissed, tending to the fire. He didn’t seem to be fond of the topic of conversation, almost avoidant of it. “I’m sure someone will come soon enough for you.”

“...Why are you acting like that?” She asked, an expression of offense on her face.

“Like what?” He sighed, finally looking at the girl.

“Like you don’t want to leave.”

...A silence fell over the group, looks exchanged between one another as JJ stared tensely at the fire, jaw clenched. It was an unspoken topic among you all — whether you were going to be rescued at some point. Whether you wanted to be. Some people had been taking more kindly to the newfound freedom of island life — you, JJ, Cleo…

The others…it seemed like they couldn’t wait until someone came to swoop you all up. It was reasonable, you understood. But going to Kildare would be like getting thrown back to hell after getting a backstage pass to heaven.

“Why don’t we go see if the trees have started producin’ again? Hm?” Cleo broke the ice, standing up and looking at you, Kiara, and Sarah. “Pope’s right. If a storm’s comin’, best to stock up. A little wander in the dark neva hurt nobody. Come on.” She urged, outstretching a hand to you to help you up that you went to take.

“Hey, no,” JJ protested, eyes fleeting between you and Cleo. “Your leg-”

“I’m fine, J.” You dismissed, using Cleo’s assistance to stand up, mindful to keep your leg off the ground. “I can’t just sit around until someone shows up to save us.”

“I know, it’s just-” He struggled to find words. “Can’t you wait until you’ve healed?” He asked, eyes pleading.

“JJ,” You started, leaning on Cleo for support to keep yourself up. “I don’t think that’s gonna happen out here. We don’t have any first aid or medical supplies. The best thing I can do is let my body try and heal itself. And the best way to do that is to stop laying around like a starfish.” You explained the words Cleo had given you when she patched you up on the first day. “And I’ll have Cleo with me.” You smiled at the girl.

JJ’s blue eyes went between you and the dark-skinned girl, sighing in defeat. “Alright, fine. But take this with you.” He demanded, tossing his Swiss Army knife in your direction, you managing to catch it with one hand.

“We’ll be back.” You smiled, turning to walk away with your girls. “Fire up the grill for us, boys!” You shouted over your shoulder.

“THAT BOY REALLY CARES ABOUT YOU, Y’KNOW?” Cleo spoke, holding a branch out of your way to duck under, guiding you with a hand on your back. The four of you had split in half — Kie and Sarah taking one side of the forest while you and Cleo foraged the other.

“Yeah, I know.” You acknowledged, getting further into the trees. “I just wish everyone would stop treating me like I’m…broken, or something.” 

“Well, your leg is pretty banged up, girl-”

“No, I know.” You cut her off. “But…it’s not just that.” You sighed, stopping in front of a bush to pluck off the berries, handing them to Cleo for her to put into the basket she made of twine and sticks. “...Some stuff happened back at home and I think they’ve been trying to be subtle about it, but I can see the way everyone keeps me in the corner of their eyes. I can feel it. It’s like they’re tip toeing on eggshells but they’re still cracking underneath their shoes. And they have their reasons to be worried, I know that and I appreciate it. But I feel like they’re always helping me or saving me. I don’t wanna be the weak link.” You explained, brows furrowed as you threw the last of the berries into the basket, limping further into the mess of trees with Cleo following closely behind. “I hate feeling like I can’t help myself. And my leg isn’t exactly helping the problem…”

“Weakness is deception.” Cleo said, matter of factly. “I learned that from a close friend.” She told you, looking at you briefly. “It’s usually hidin’ a strength you haven’t discovered yet.” She said simply, stopping in front of the fruit tree as she handed the basket to you and began to climb.

“Well, how am I supposed to find this ‘strength’?” You asked, eyeing the girl as she climbed the bark effortlessly.

“You learn to overcome the weakness.” She said, snatching one of ripe fruits off the vine. “Everybody is weak. It’s just that some are stronger than others. When you’re stronger than everyone around you, of course you’re not going to look weak — brighter lights cast deeper shadows. But the truth is, everyone is a weak link in some way. Strength isn’t about never fallin’, it’s about gettin’ back up every time you do.”

“But what if I don’t know how to do that?” You asked, brows furrowed as you got lost in your thoughts, watching as Cleo dropped the fruit into the basket from the top of the tree. “What if all I know how to do when I fall…is keep falling?” 

“...Why would you do that?” She asked, voice softer than you'd ever heard it.

“...Because it’s easier than getting back up just to fall again.” 

“But you can’t fall forever.” Cleo asserted. “You’ll hit rock bottom eventually. And when you hit rock bottom, there’s nothin'. And you can’t live with nothin', so you have to make your way back to the top eventually. You can never let yourself fall that far.” She spoke, climbing down from the tree. “It’s easier to swim to the surface from five–feet down than it is from fifty.” You pondered on her words, finding a good amount of wisdom in them. The girl stopped in front of you, taking the basket off of your hands. “And you’re lucky.” She added after a moment's pause. “You have a good group of people to help you up. Don’t see their help as weakness. Them people out there are your family. I don’t have that.” 

“They could be that for you.” You told Cleo as the two of you began walking back the way you came, using the moonlight for guidance. "We could be that for you."

“Nah.” She shook her head, eyes looking at her feet. “They don’t trust me.”

“Not yet.” You emphasized. “We don’t trust people easily. You can probably imagine why…” You trailed off, Cleo nodding in response. “But they’re actually taking to you pretty well. Most of them, anyway.” You mentally rolled your eyes, remembering you and Kiara’s previous conversation. “Like Pope?” You continued, moving branches and leaves out of the way. “He’s usually the first to be skeptical. But he seems open to you.”

“Hm...” She hummed under her breath — her lack of response prompting you to look at the girl, the moonlight illuminating the faint redness of her cheeks. You couldn’t help but gasp.

“Oh my God, do you like Pope?” You nearly shouted to which Cleo vehemently shushed you, looking around herself.

“Shut up, loud mouth!” She whisper-shouted lightheartedly. “...And no, I don’t. Boys are stupid. And useless.” She said, although you didn’t believe her. 

“Uh-huh…” You said, squinting your eyes with a sly smile. “...Well, he’s on the market, just FYI.”

“Ughhh.” Cleo groaned, throwing her head back and walking far ahead. “Shut up!”

“I’m just saying!” You shouted behind her, attempting to catch up.

“That’s ya problem!” She called over her shoulder. “Less talkin’, more walkin’, slowpoke!”

“Hey! I can’t help it!” You argued, still trying your best to catch back up to the girl. “JJ will kill you if you abandon me out here!” You joked to which you were met with a playful scoff that reverberated through the trees.

“I’ll put ya lanky, blonde boyfriend on his behind before he can shout for help!” She quipped, a smile thrown over her shoulder. “Come on!”

next chapter >

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

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©loveharlow.

[httpuckdrop]

ashes – day 1

his eyes were stuck on you from the second you entered the club.

it wasn't a completely uncommon thing for you to have men staring at you in public places, especially not when you were out with your hot girlfriends, all wearing tiny dresses with hair fixed to perfection. nonetheless, you were more used to the men only ever entertaining the most gorgeous members of your friend group, and men losing interest after an hour of you not giving a shit about their longing gazes.

this specific one, however, didn't seem to understand the meaning behind your actions. nearing three hours after you first stepped into the room, you still caught him eyeing you up whenever you accidentally looked his way. could he not take a hint?

it wasn't like he wasn't hot enough for you – quite the opposite, to be honest. with his defined jaw speckled with just a faint hint of stubble, a smile that made something tighten in your stomach without him even trying, and those baby blue eyes (so bright they could blind you across the room), he could probably bag any girl in the world. he probably has, too, judging by the way he and his friend seem to think that they own not just the club but the rest of the world as well.

you're familiar with the type; likely some type of spoiled sports guys, celebrating a good game or season or whatever. caps on their heads, beer glasses in their hands, top buttons of their shirts undone. you truly couldn't care less.

the guy left your brain for a few moments when it was suddenly your turn to get your group a new round of drinks. you waited by the bar for a minute or two, and when the bartender was done mixing your round, he calculated the price for you before running off to get the card machine.

you really shouldn't have been surprised by the figure appearing by your side. you definitely should have figured out that he would see this as his chance.

"let me pay for the round." you hadn't heard his voice before, but you didn't need to – or want to, for that matter – look at him to know who it was. a mere shake of your head should've been enough, you thought. apparently not. "you're a group of like, what, six people? can't be too expensive, i'll handle it."

"i can handle it, too," you countered.

"i'm sure you can," he started with a chuckle. "but you shouldn't have to."

taking a deep breath, you finally turned to him, feeling the frustration building up in the pit of your stomach when your eyes met his because who allowed him to be this breathtaking up close? "i'm not looking for some sugar daddy, so you can leave."

his jaw dropped slightly at this, eyes widening and cheeks growing pink – or were they always that color? was it due to the alcohol or just the proximity to you? – but then he shook his head slightly to recover. "that's not what i meant," he said, and you almost believed the genuine glimmer in his gaze. "i just wanted to do something good, i don't know. i'm sorry if that came out wrong."

you couldn't help but nod at this, the corners of your lips curling up at the sight of his hand scratching the back of his neck. "don't worry about it," you assured him, wanting- needing to look away, but not finding yourself able to. he looked young, probably around your age instead of the typical nasty old men who liked to pick up pretty girls and brag about their wallets. his eyes were kind, gentle, the different shades of blue swirling around like a rough sea; easy to get lost in. the brown curls that poked out at the back of his cap were unruly yet soft, and in a weak moment, you found yourself wondering how it would feel to pull your fingers through them.

the bartender interrupted your moment – you weren't sure if only seconds had passed or if it had been minutes, hours – and a breath of relief escaped from you at the beep from the card machine after you tapped your phone against it. at the same time, you really didn't want to go back to your friends. you could spend your whole lifetime just staring at the man in front of you without being bored for even a second. you hadn't yet realized the spell you were under, or just how willing you'd be to agree to anything for him.

after making sure that the drinks were safely transported to your table, the man managed to lure you with him to his own table instead. most of his friends were gone by now, searching for single girls on the dance floor, and the three that were still sat there were too invested in a heated discussion about football to care even the slightest about you two.

he introduced himself as jack, 23 years old but turning 24 in the spring, the middle of three brothers. when you questioned him about sports, wanting to confirm your premature suspicions, he laughed and confirmed that he indeed "works with hockey", but never went any further than that. instead, he asked for your name, told you that it was beautiful and asked where you got it from. he asked to hear about your studies, seemingly authentically curious about your boring homework and annoying lecturers. he asked about your family, your childhood, your dreams.

no matter what story you told, he listened with great intent, that boyish grin permanent on his lips and a laugh never far away. jack looked at you like he was already in love with you; a look you're sure he has practiced for ages.

but at this point, you honestly didn't care.

after this, everything went by in a blur. one second, you were still just sitting on that couch in the club, chatting about anything and everything. the next, you were making out in the back of an uber, his calloused palms searching every inch of skin they could reach under your shirt. the next, your back met the covers of the bed in his apartment, dazed eyes watching as this masterpiece of a man climbed on top of you and leaned down to seal his lips against yours yet again.

his fingers left imaginary traces along your skin, his lips then following the path they'd drawn. you'd been in this position before, sure, but this sensation was new – something about him made it so different from anything you'd felt before. his touch drew out shallow breaths and sweet noises from you as he discovered your body, helping him understand how to please you the way you wanted.

the time spent with jack went on for hours, yet it was over in mere seconds. when he held you against his chest, you wanted nothing more than to stay there forever, to rest your head against him until the world collapsed under your feet, to feel his skin against yours until the end of time.

but you knew that couldn't happen.

so as soon as his low snores filled the air, when his breath became steady and you were sure he was asleep, you swiftly fled from his grasp.

getting dressed in a tight dress and your previously discarded underwear after a night like this was always awkward, and leaving a gorgeous man alone in his big bed always sucked. but you had no other option.

after closing his front door behind you quietly, you let out a deep sigh, as if to let go of what had just happened. you couldn't afford to let it stay on your mind, you couldn't obsess over it. there was no point. if you were lucky, you would never have to see him again.

unfortunately, luck has never really been on your side.

[galaxsims]

🌊 Love Island Reboot Casting Call — { OPEN } 🌊

It's me again~

I'm back!

I've missed Love Island so much and I really wanted to try it out again, only this time in a mansion in Tartosa! (This mansion was built by plumbobkingdom.) I had so much fun with the OG Love Island, even if life got in the way of finishing it. SO! I would love to host Love Island once again and need your amazing sims to do it!

Season One Application open until July 3, 2024! 💕

The application and rules are under the cut!

Rules:

Maxis Match hair only, please! This is because it looks better with gshade lol

Feel free to use alpha skins, though

I love cc, so use as much (or as little) as you want. I don't have all the packs, but I will change outfits and things if they disappear in my game because of that.

Please give a backstory for your sim so I know how to write them!

No occults, please!

Make sure your sim has the following outfits done: everyday, formal, sleep, swimwear, and hot weather!

Feel free to put multiple outfits for each category if you want!

Please tag me in the post so I don't miss it!!

There will be 8 sims in the mansion at a time. If your sim isn't chosen for the first round, they will be one of the sims who comes in later. Whenever a sim is eliminated, another enters.

This challenge will be interactive! You will decide who leaves, who wins the challenges, and, ultimately, who wins the whole thing.

I will be starting this as soon as I have eight sims, even if it's before the application deadline. Keep sending sims even if I've already started--the more the merrier!

I will send you a message for the download link! Or you can just send it right to me. I'll be accepting all sims tbh.

I love drama, so I'm looking for all different personalities, both good and bad!

APPLICATION FOR YOUR SIMS:

Name:

Pronouns:

Age:

Occupation:

Hometown:

Sexuality:

Ideal Type:

Why Are You Applying For Love Island?:

[pankiepoo]

idfk what im doing. thank u @fansblogs for helping with some dialogue editing

Transcript v

Suitcase: Fan?

Fan: Oh- H-Hey Suitcase!

Fan: So- how's it feel to be the season 2 winner, huh?

Suitcase: Heh, it feels… strange- yet… nice. But- are you alright?

Fan: Oh, I'm fine… all fine… except the fact that I'm- y'know, not real! Hah… I just… can't help thinking- was I just made to like the show? How am I even supposed to process that! I'm not sure how I didn't even notice- and I was… well- made to pay attention to the show… or so I thought.

Fan: Just- just look! Ha-ha, oh- an actual fan is ALSO a fan of the show! I mean- my- my first appearance was…. just a little gag. From how they(the viewers) viewed us- to what everyone else was made for- I had been right- we all were just some characters! Just… scripted, and, well- fake. But- but with this whole… "what's real" question, uh… you… did put on a very good speech.

Fan: I dunno. I just- well. I tried to keep the show from being practically- uh… everything? But, I still…

Suitcase: It's... still very important to you. I get that.

Fan: I- ...yeah.

Fan: Even if I know there's more... I'm still kind of- well... I'm still the biggest fan, right? Like- go ask Marshmallow and she's completely cutting ties with it! But- I can't give up the show like that. Would that be fake? To keep that purpose...?

Suitcase: Well... you've put a lot of time and effort into the show, and you still do.

Fan: O-Of course I do! I just- I don't know if that's just... some reflection of MePhone- a-and, y'know, as the #1 fan, that should be a dream come true, right? But- it's kind of... taking away any individuality to the point where I'm- I'm apparently just-

Fan: ...Something to be projected onto- like the egg... gosh, that's really making it hurt.

Suitcase: Even then- you've still built around that. You're more than that.

Fan: I- I know! But- MePhone left to- who knows where! Inanimate Insanity finally ended- and how am I supposed to deal with that?! If- If I was initially made to love the show- and- and there's no chance of continuation- then what do I do now?! I- I can't just- well, just... just...

Suitcase: I'm... sorry, Fan, but- you have to accept that the show... is over, and... that really isn't all you are... you know that.

Fan: I... I guess.

Test Tube: Fan! I need your help!

Fan: Oh- c-coming, Test Tube! See you, Suitcase!

Suitcase: Bye... Fan.

[lizardsfromspace]

Nothing shows off better how TV used to work than The Single Guy

In this Wikipedia grid, yellow represents one of the top ten shows on TV, and green is the #1 show of the year. You may recognize Friends, Seinfeld, and ER. You probably don't recognize any show between them, but they're all yellow

After Friends, NBC mostly gave up on making a block of their best sitcoms like they had in the 80s. NBC also had shows like Frasier and Newsradio, but they weren't on the same night. Instead they filled the time in between Friends & Seinfeld and Seinfeld & ER with...a bunch of clones of Friends, since they wanted to make Another Friends. Most of these shows had more viewers than any TV show today, and most of these shows were series no one liked that got cancelled after two or three seasons

The Single Guy is canon to Friends by the way. It's in the Friends Universe. Because Ross appears on a episode. Imagine getting a chance to crossover with Friends and choosing to feature Ross. But it was their first try at a knock-off of Friends and Seinfeld, and nearly thirty million people saw every episode. But everyone knew none of those thirty million people liked it, so they retooled it between seasons (...to make it *more* like Friends by adding a bunch of friends he talked to in a coffeeshop), and then they moved it to its own night and uh

The viewers did not follow.

But the shift from blocks to exclusively on-demand viewing changed TV in a fundamental way, bc now you have to seek everything out. You can't just be exposed to something new. The whole strategy of building shows up by putting them in between other shows, under the belief people would just keep the TV on between two shows they like, is gone. It seems silly, but most of those shows weren't like The Single Guy. Friends started off in between Mad About You & Seinfeld, and then Seinfeld & ER. A lot of popular shows started there, but also that slot was often given to a show that had Emmys and critical praise but that weren't huge hits. Under the programming block model shows could just exist until they found an audience Cheers was one of the lowest rated shows on TV its first season, and didn't become a top ten hit until its fourth season; Seinfeld didn't become one until season five. Remember fourth and fifth seasons?

That model really couldn't survive streaming, or even the DVR age, and also NBC deciding to fill every free slot with shitty Friends clones didn't help. But this is a part of why streaming services are terrible at producing sitcoms & new series in general, and why Abbott Elementary is airing as its network's only sitcom & sandwiched at the half hour between reality shows

[uranometrias]

goodbye love, you flew right by , spencer reid

this was inspired by the season fourteen episode 'truth or dare'... it's my take on the jeid confession aftermath. listen to ceilings while you read, but don't think too deeply into it, because the story has a happy ending... this is only part 1 though, and it ends on a awkward/angsty note, so sorry. reader passes out from a head blow.

i wanted it to be short, but i have no self control.

you tried to keep your mind on your training, you didn't really have time to panic, you needed to stay calm. you focused all your energy on your breathing, willed your fear away with thoughts of better things. you didn't even want to focus on the fact that spencer was across from you, hands pinned behind his back as he stared up at the manic man that was currently holding you, your boyfriend, and your closest work friend hostage. you believed in your team, and what you were capable of, you knew without a doubt you'd make it out alive.

"casey..." spencer speaks, his voice has matured over the years, rightfully. he sounds so official, and you find yourself sitting a touch straighter at the sharpness behind his words. jj was standing up, eyes glued directly on your captor, her face was pinched up with the proof of her worry. she catches your eye, and looks forlorn, you only hope that she sees the resilience resting in your own eyes, as you try and offer a semblance of hope through your own gaze.

"shut up!" he shouts, and his gun is aimed at spencer. he spits the words out, quickly stomping towards jj as he forced her to the floor.

"okay, okay!" she exclaims, and it's clear that he's hurting her. his patience has run thin, and jj's plan of getting through to him by playing along with his sick 'truth or dare' game was proving to be all for not. your foot unconsciously begins to tap, likely a nervous habit that you have no time to unpack. you're still too busy trying to appear unbothered, it always seemed to tick the unsubs off when it seemed like their bravado meant nothing. that's what you needed. you couldn't afford to let him think that he scared you.

"last chance." and his gun's trained directly at jj's head. "something you'd never say aloud, not even to your friends here." and casey's whirling around to point the gun in your direction, you think it might have been a mistake for him to turn around. when he sees your foot tapping his face contorts, he's annoyed with you, angry with you. your arms are uncomfortable from the way they were taped together behind your back, and the foot tapping has become involuntary.

his reaction is almost instantaneous, and you think you understand why the team's always telling you not to get so lost in your own mind.

casey's grabbing you by your arm and it hurts, especially as his nails manage to pierce through the skin. he seems to be doing it on purpose, yanking you up to your feet as jj and spencer both surge into action. "wait, wait, please-" jj's leaning forward, eyes wide and full of fear for the first time since this whole ordeal began. spencer's scared too, but he hides it much better you think.

"please, don't hurt her." he begs, and you find it a bit annoying that he's brought them to the point of begging, of using manners to appeal to his ego. casey's eyes jump from spencer to jj, and then to you, and he's sneering. he whirls you around, arm looping around your neck as he presses the barrel of his gun directly to your temple. you sing along to your favorite song in your head, using it as a way to stay grounded, it likely made you look like a mad man.

you supposed that it was your superpower, your ability to look death in the eye, and not flinch. the team often mentioned they weren't sure if you or emily was more stone-faced in a crises situation. "oh, you don't want me to hurt her?" he mocks, and you don't look at spencer, no, you keep your eyes on jj, because she's the one that has to play the game. if you didn't know spencer so well, you never would have noticed the slight movement of his arms, he was up to something.

he was fine.

jj was the one in the hot seat, and she needed you to be calm. freaking out would only make her all the more anxious. so you offer her a stern look, a look that expressed that you all would be okay. she doesn't look convinced. "i want your deepest, darkest secret." he insturcts, "impress me, or i'll kill her." and he slams the gun deep into your temple, the action dizzying as you try and maintain your balance. you feel pain blooming behind your eyes. "and then i'll kill him." he nods his head towards spencer, and jj's on the verge of tears.

you have no choice but to watch her, he's given you a first-class seat to the action. jj's eyes don't land on you though, instead she's looking over to spencer. he looks back at her, face pensive, but otherwise calm. she shudders for just a moment, and it looks like she's trying to work up the courage. "come on!" casey suddenly screams directly in your ear, and you flinch violently. it garners both jj and spencer's attention. casey tightens his hold on you, gun at the ready. "do you think this is a joke? do you think i won't blow this bitch's brains out?"

you're not too fond of being called a bitch, and the drama of it all, takes you out of the moment a bit. why were all unsubs so cliche?

jj takes in another shuddered breath, this one bordering on a sob as she takes in a puff of air. it takes her a moment to get her bearings, but then she's looking at spencer again. she offers him a weak smile, and you get a tingle up your spine, it feels like a warning for disaster. "spence..." she says his name weakly, voice harsh as she croaks. he's looking away from you finally, meeting the gaze of his best friend. "uh..." she inhales sharply. "um..." she looks at you then, and you're eyes are wide, confusion swirling there and she's exhaling.

there's a heaviness, a guilt that stares back at you, and you find yourself scared for the first time, but not of casey. no, you're scared of your friend. "i'm sorry." she mouths to you, and you watch as she looks back at your boyfriend, the clear love of your life. you feel dread then, because you know jj, you know her too well, and you know what's coming. why else would she be so worried, why else would she be looking at you with so much shame in her eyes. "i've-" she stops.

spencer's none the wiser, he wouldn't get it until she said it in full. so while you spiraled into despair, he sat patiently, doe-eyes wide and full of whatever innocence he still had left. you wish you could go back to before, you wish you hadn't been assigned to go with jj and spencer, if you were with the team you'd be none the wiser. you wouldn't feel so heartbroken, displaced, uncertain. but you're here now, and all you have to do is wait for the other shoe to drop. jj inhales, and you wish she would get it out. "i've always loved you."

and there it is.

you'd come to recognize the signs and signals of tears, it always started with your eyes burning like you'd been sitting in smoke. your nose stings next, and you bare down harshly on your tongue to keep them from falling. "and i was just too scared to say it before." it's a gut-punch, it would have likely knocked you on your ass had casey not been forcing you to take it all in. "and now things are just really too complicated to say it now." and she's crying, and that's how you know that she means it. that only makes you feel much worse.

jj, for all intents and purposes was a great actress, she could make any story believable, but she'd never been a good 'fake crier'. she could hide every single one of her tells when she spoke, but emotions were harder to manage. you remembered how she'd told you that one day while the two of you were hanging out. you don't know what brought you there, but she'd made it clear, that tears for her were hard to fake. which left you with what? a best friend that was in love with your boyfriend?

"i'm sorry, but you should know." and you'd hoped she'd at least have the decency to look at you. she doesn't. instead, she's still looking at spencer, and you feel like you're intruding. more than that you feel so stupid. spencer's got this look on his face, this shock and awe and confusion that makes you want to vomit, it makes you want to throw yourself to the ground and throw a tantrum. you want to open your mouth and scream, remind them that 'hey, you're here too'... remind them that you were apart of this, that this was a very very bad thing.

hope was not the sort of look he should be wearing, it's not how he should be responding. you don't know what you'd expected, but certainly not for him to look so relieved, not while you were sitting right there in front of him with a gun to your head. he gives her a half smile though, and you crumble. casey's suddenly chuckling, shoulders rocking as they're pulled out of their little moment. "hot damn!" and he's releasing the gun from your temple, holding it like a little prop, as he forced you back to the ground.

you don't resist, your knees slamming into the floor as you conceal your wince, conceal everything.

"now that's what i'm talking about." casey mutters excitedly. "now those are some last words right there..." he nods his head. he then looms over her, gun pointed directly in her face. "but not good enough to save your life-" before he can hope to pull the trigger, spencer has shot him. the shot echoes all around you, but it doesn't seem to pull you from your muffled mind. casey falls to the floor, jj jumping as he lands down next to her. she shudders violently.

then she's looking back at him, at spence. your spence.

you don't like how it makes you feel, that they've conjured this small habit of getting lost in one another. you clear your throat, and they're finally, finally looking at you. jj looks mortified, but you can't read spencer at all. he doesn't look at jj again, doesn't say a word, instead he's looking at you. you should feel something other than rejection, but you don't. not even when his eyes seem to brim with all those feelings that you know he has for you, because now it feels fake.

he's quick in the way he rushes towards you, kneeling as he inspects you like porcelain. his dominant hand moves to gently brush over where you'd been hit with the gun. you don't want him to touch you though, so you pull back, it's more like a hard jerk, like you were frightened of his touch. you try to play it off, pretend it never happened, but you know that he knows. it felt like the beginning of the end, like the prerequisite to something god-awful.

he looks so upset, hurt by the action, but you think out of the two of you, you're the one who's really hurt. "can you just get me out of these, please?" you don't sound like yourself either, instead you sound hollow, like a grieving woman. you probably are, grieving that is. spencer gives you a worn down nod, but maneuvers until he's behind you. he gently tugs at the tape, but it still hurts as it strips at your skin. you bare your teeth, but don't say anything, head hanging low, until he was done. he offers you his hand, you ignore it.

"y/n." jj calls, and she sounds so distraught. you ignore her too, you don't know what other choices you have. the room's not big enough to hide in, so instead you find yourself rushing over to melissa. you think it's silly, to leave the two of them alone while so much hung in the air, but it was better that way. "melissa." you say her name quietly, kneeling in front of her, despite how shabby they felt. "i need you to hang on, okay?" you exhale shakily.

"help will be here before you know it." you promise, and you're pressing on her wound, blood smearing your hands and your fingertips as she winced painfully. you don't hear anything from jj and spencer, but it doesn't make it better. clearly a glance was all it took for the two of them now. you hate the way this has thrown you, you don't exactly know why you're so fearful. jj was married, she had two sons she adored, and a marriage she was happy in. so why did it feel like the confession was the start of something bad.

were you so insecure that you felt like you didn't stand a chance?

you don't want to think about that, it might actually be enough to make you upchuck. instead, your masochistic mind has you chancing a glance back to where it all went down. you see that spencer has taken the tape off her hands. she's looking up at him, and he's staring down at her. you think that you hate them then. the door bursts open a second later, and you're glad. soon enough a medic would come to see to the wounded, and you could get the hell out of dodge.

"we're going to need an EMT, we've got three down." you exclaim. the room immediately jumps into action. you hear the incessant thrum of conversation as everyone jumped into action, and you're more than grateful when you feel someone looming. your mistake was believing it would be a medic, your face falls flat when you're met with the sight of jj. she had always had a bad habit of trying to force the hard conversations. today though, you were determined to stand your petty ground. you avert your gaze, attention back on melissa.

"y/n, please don't do this." she says this quietly, and you hear the genuine anguish in her voice. it doesn't sway you, it can't possibly.

"it's already done." you quip, and you're grateful to have slowed the bleeding of melissa's wound, as a medic takes your place, finally. you stand to your feet, bloodstained hands itching to smear against your jeans, but you refrain. you ignore rossi and tara's questions, not really in the mood to answer different variations of the 'are you alright?' game. you needed air. silly you to think it'd be over just because you'd willed it to be. just as you're stepping outside, you feel a warm hand encompassing your wrist. you don't want to stop, but it's habitual.

"let me go, spencer." you try quietly. you don't want to be that girl, the one that lashes out, and causes a scene. diplomacy was the name of the game. your eyes are glued to the ground, you didn't want to picture him with that stupid hopeful look on his face anymore. you knew that night when you closed your eyes you'd see it over and over. it would taunt you, play on an endless loop while you tore yourself to shreds. what was it about her? why was this happening to you?

"i can't." he replies, and you wish he'd spoken to you earlier. you wish that he had communicated with his mouth, rather than with his eyes. maybe you wouldn't be so far gone. it didn't have to be a big deal, because at least you would have known that it didn't matter. that her confession hadn't changed anything, but he'd stayed silent, and he'd looked at her in a way he'd never looked at you before. you knew there was history, you'd heard whispers from derek and penelope about a football game from years and years ago.

you had never expected for it to matter now.

"you can, you're just choosing to hold me hostage." you mumble, and despite your anger, you can't lash out. you can't be irrational.

"i'm not going to let you leave angry with me." and you hate how he knows you so well. you think it's something you'll miss. "i want us to talk about it, i think that we need to." he says in that voice he often used when he was trying to gently guide you towards the right choice. you don't want to be policed or treated like you were the one that had messed things up. all he'd needed to do was shut it down, all you'd wanted him to do was not look so happy, like it was something he'd spent his entire life waiting for.

"what's there to talk about, spencer? it's happened, okay? let's just move on, before this turns into something it doesn't need to." you shoot back, and he's not convinced, nor is he willing to budge.

"you're treating me like some stranger, as if i don't know you well enough to see when you're lying to me." he's gaining that disappointed lilt to his voice, and you think long gone are all your chances of getting out of this place without it turning into a full blown soap opera meltdown. "we're not going to get anywhere if you can't be truthful with me." he adds, and you don't want a lecture, because you'd done nothing wrong. you were the one casey had held, you were the one that had a gun pressed to your temple.

you weren't the one that made the life changing confession.

"i'm asking you to drop this." you say sharply, and you're hoping to snatch your arm away from spencer. he doesn't let you, and on any other occasion you'd feel so protected, so wanted. now though, you feel claustrophobic, trapped, you didn't feel safe. "i understand that you're trying to preserve our relationship, and i wish i could tell you that this doesn't change anything..." his face morphs, eyes screaming at you not to proceed. "but i just need a second to wrap my head around all this, okay? can you give me that? space?"

to him space always felt like the beginning of the end. he thinks that's why he's determined not to let you go. "will you come back? if i let you go?" and he's already dropped you wrist, so you know that he's not really talking about right now. he sounds uncertain, scared, and it does remind you that there was love he felt towards you. the fear wraps around you, and you're not sure how it really makes you feel. you exhale shakily, and you don't want to give him the wrong answer.

"agent l/n." you're both being pulled back to reality, back to what was going on around you. you note the bleeding gash in his hand, likely from the shard he'd used to free himself from the tape and you sigh.

"i don't know, spence." and it's true. "i'm just a little bit confused right now." you admit. "and my feelings are hurt," you shake your head rapidly. spencer doesn't know how to express the way his mind is running. all he knew was that jj's confession would not be enough to make him want to throw away his time with you. he wanted you to know that you weren't a consolation prize, but he didn't know how to say it now without seeming ingenuine. he knew how it looked, he knew how he'd feel if he was in your shoes.

but, he wasn't in love with jj. he remembered a version of himself that tripped over himself at her gaze, the version that stayed up late at night replaying conversations in his head. a part of that guy would always exist, he couldn't lie and say it didn't. he loved her so wholeheartedly that sometimes it still managed to scare him, but she was an illusion, a fantasy. realistically he doubted they'd make sense in a romantic sort of sense, it was only something to think about... not something to uproot lives behind.

more than that though, he'd never felt for jj the way he felt for you. he remembered the first time you'd waltzed into the bullpen. you'd knocked him right on his ass, took every thought in his head, and made it your very own. you consumed his time, and he was willing to let you. he wanted you to be the only thing that could quiet his running mind, he wanted you to be the only person that could help him sleep. he didn't want to give this anymore attention than it needed, because he was set in his heart. it wasn't a question.

he didn't know why he couldn't just say that. why everything felt so lopsided and off focus now. his lips curve down into a deep pout.

"my head hurts." you mumble, your bottom lip trembling as spencer's frown deepens. he wants to hug you, but after your initial rejection he doesn't know if he can take another one. you feel a bit drowsy, likely a side-effect of the way casey had manhandled you.

"i know, you'll need to get checked out." he says quietly. "you might have a concussion, he really did a number on you." and despite his initial protests, and your earlier reaction, he's reaching for you again. you don't know if you're insecure, or if your profiling skills are allowing to see him for who he is, but the look in his eyes pushes you to relax. his fingers are gentle in the way they cradle your face, and instinctively you're leaning into his palm, cheek pressing against his hand. "i'm sorry." and you don't know which part he's apologizing for.

"can you come with me?" a quiet and still hopeful question. "we could sit together in the ambulance, pretend everything's alright just for a second?" you offer, and you think that's an answer to his question in itself. you didn't know how long it would take to get checked out, you didn't know how long it would take for them to bandage his hand and assess him for other scrapes and bruises, but you could take advantage of it, just the two of you. you could sit in silence, and dance around in that space between love and betrayal.

it was possible.

"y-yeah." he didn't stutter much anymore, so it stands out and makes you want to frown. "we can do that." his expression is torn, and you want to know what's on his mind, what he was thinking. you needed to know, you wanted some sort of sign, anything, that would show you he hadn't given up on you all because jj was in love with him. you hoped you weren't that disposable. "i want to." he adds, and he blinks harshly, almost like he's warding off tears, and it feels so awkward. the usual banter, the back and forth, the flirty remarks that always managed to leave you both shy were all gone.

in a matter of moments.

"good." and at the very least, he's here with you right now. "give me your hand." and you're careful not to grab the one he'd split with the glass, instead stepping around him to pull his clean palm into your slightly stained one. your fingers interlock, and it's a habit, a natural one at this point. "don't think too hard about it." you instruct, and he scoffs at you. he's upset, he's disappointed, hurting, angry, confused, you can see it. all his emotions seem to pile up on one another.

"how can i not?" he asks, and he sounds so tired. "it feels like you're seconds away from telling me that you're done with me." you're a not surprised at the pivot in his demeanor.

"isn't that what you want now?" you've started to walk, and spencer's letting you lead him, not quite ready to let your hand go once you reached the medic that was currently trying their hand at getting your attention. "i mean the girl you've always loved just put herself on a silver platter." you adds with a quiet sneer a second later. "what do you need me for?" you question, and he hates the feeling of his heart mimicking the sensation of pulling and squeezing. it hurts.

"y/n..." he tries, and you shake your head. "you have to know that nothing has changed." he promises, and you scoff. it stops you in your tracks.

"everything's changed!" you hiss. "she's in love with you. jj, our friend. she's been harboring feelings for you for years, but nothing's changed?" you huff, a tear seems to find joy in slipping from your eye in that moment. it's just one, but you know it's a opener to the main event. it's probably because despite everything, he makes you feel safest. part of that safety came an inability to shield your emotions and reactions from him. you'll have to try your darndest to do so now.

you don't really know if you can conceal them, but you don't want them to turn into full blown sobs. a few stray tears were easy to ignore, but the second it became a meltdown you knew you were finished. this wasn't your secret to share, and despite how angry you were with jj, you knew that it wasn't her fault. things were complicated, and you couldn't fully blame her for how she felt. you just wondered if she was biding her time, if she thought she was better suited for spencer than you. did she actually like you?

did she actually believe all that she'd told you regarding your relationship with spencer?

'i've never seen him smile so big' ... 'you guys are actually perfect for each other' ... 'tell us y/n, are you gonna be the one to give spence a few baby geniuses? the boys need some cousins'. your heart aches at the thought of it all being nothing but lip service. but you'd never expose her to the team, you'd never hurt will and the boys like that. which meant you'd have to shape up before the team was back.

"i mean for myself. nothing's changed for me and the way that i feel for you." he presses. "i wouldn't just toss our time together away like that." spencer looks stern as he scolds you. "was there a time that i thought about what it would be like? to be with jj... to-to have her love me back? yes... i won't lie about it." he says, and your face crumples up, and you want to run away. you don't know what he's getting at, but his words don't help as much as he might've hoped.

it causes you to yank your hand away, head shaking back and forth as you step back. "i said that i didn't want to talk about it." and you feel hypocritical because you'd thrown a few rocks to get you to this point in the conversation. "so stop it, okay? we're going to let it go, and we're going to talk about something else." you try your hand at deflecting. spencer's got an exceptional amount of patience, you see it wearing thin on his face, but you're not willing to budge.

"no, we need to talk about this." spencer argues. "i'm not going to pretend with you, and we've been together long enough for you to realize that you don't have to pretend with me, either." he adds. "if we don't now... i'm scared that we never will, and you're- you're angry with me, and i need you to tell me why." he pleads. "if we can't deal with things like this, we'll never make it past the hard stuff." he exhales, "i really want to make it past the hard stuff with you."

"i don't want to talk about it." you feel yourself getting a bit more irrational, angrier. your head feels like it's hurting even more, throbbing as it passed behind your eyes.

"why are you acting like this?" he's growing a bit frantic, he's got abandonment issues, and it feels like you might leave. he's lost a lot of people in his life, he's never been the best with change, he's never been the best with moving on, getting past the hard stuff. he doesn't want to push you too far, but he feels like he's got to hold on tight or risk losing you forever. "why can't you just tell me what you're thinking? if you're gonna vent, why not with me? let me help-"

"i don't want you to do anything for me!" you snap, and you're getting looks from the officers outside. you see rossi and his eyes are directly trained on the both of you. the rest of the team is scattered about, but much like rossi they're looking your way. it's officially become a scene. you run your hands across your face, dried blood caking over your skin, as you press your hands together, taking in a shaky breath. "i told you that i didn't want to talk about it." you remind him harshly.

"y/n-" you don't give him the chance to say much else, because you're immediately cutting him off.

"no!" you're ensuring your volume stays at appropriate levels, especially now that you seemed to have garnered a small audience. tara's still looking, and you know that every so often jj's taking it all in too. you at least owe it to the both of you to not go too far. "i want you to respect that maybe this isn't something you can fix with your extensive knowledge." you proceed. "you're smart as a whip, but boy do you still have a lot to learn about emotions." and you think you might have gone too far. you've definitely gone too far.

your head is really hurting though, and your vision's getting spotty. you don't have it in you to be politically correct, but you see the way his face morphs, how he looks so hurt. he towered over you, but he never looked more like a little boy than he did in that moment. "and my feelings... whatever they may be aren't just something that you can push out of me to make yourself feel better. this isn't just going to go away and be fixed by bed time, doctor reid."

he blinks.

"i wasn't-" he exhales, heartbeat wanting to rise in his chest. "that's not-" he's not prone to panic attacks, but he knew a lot about them. he knew how they could come out of no where, and be crippling. he was panicking, freaking out, mostly because he was being misunderstood. he never wanted you to misunderstand him, especially as it pertained to his intentions and his feelings towards you. "i wasn't trying to manage your feelings... i-" he's trying to breathe. "i just want us to be okay, i don't want to lose you."

you want to reply, really you do. you don't think you can though, because your brain feels like it's about to erupt. your knees lock, and you almost jerk. spencer's eyes widen and he's surging forward to catch you the second you start to fall. it brings him to his knees, split hand be damned. "y/n." and his suspicions about your concussion were confirmed, it makes guilt lash at him instantly. if he'd just bit his tongue, you wouldn't have passed out. he'd let you get too overwhelmed, you'd told him your head was bothering you.

he's so busy beating himself up, and trying to ensure that you were breathing, he doesn't even realize that matt's trying to garner his attention. "hey, what happened?" and he snaps out of it when tara's gently shoving at his arm. he feels like everything's going in slow motion now, he's just concerned about you. that's nothing new.

"i think she has a concussion..." he mutters. "casey-" he tightens his hold on you. "casey hit her in the head." he explains, and he wonders why he hadn't been more diligent earlier. the EMTs are joining next, and he should feel more relieved that you'll be getting the care you need. he knows most times unconsciousness wanes about fifteen minutes from the time that the victim passes out, but it doesn't calm him down. guilt was one hell of a problem.

"she's gonna be alright." tara is telling him, as they're rising to their feet, eyes following the stretcher you were laid out on. "she's a real fighter." and he already knows that, he thinks you're the strongest person in the world, but he should've never pushed you.

"spence!" jj's calling him, and she's approaching before he can reply. "what happened?" she sounds about as worried as he feels. guilt clearly was a dinner for two. "is she okay? w-what's wrong with y/n?" she fires off, and spencer thinks he should be the one talking to the EMTs and not tara and matt, but he can't seem to move. or respond, based on the way jj's face contorts. "spence!" she calls him again.

that snaps him out of his reverie.

"she's got a concussion, it's all my fault." he says what he's thinking. "i shouldn't have tried to force her to talk-" and he hates that right now is the moment he decides to word vomit. "i just-" he looks up at jj, who's got a mixture of emotions swirling in her eyes. "i should have let her go get checked out." he explains.

"this isn't your fault. spence, you're not the one that gave her a concussion. you're not the one that hurt her, casey was." she insists.

"casey's not the one that blew everything up." his retort is quick, and in hindsight, he doesn't blame jj for anything. he knows things are complicated, tricky, weird. but he doesn't want her to be the one to comfort him, and tell him everything was going to be fine. not right now.

"what? are you blaming me now?" jj asks, and she sounds heartbroken. spencer thinks he's getting used to the feeling of his foot being in his mouth. there's a moment of tense silence, a stare off that occurs where neither of them knows what to say. they don't know how to proceed, and he doesn't know why he keeps getting caught in this limbo of not knowing what to say. "i didn't mean to make things difficult." she finally says. "i never-"

they're pulled from this moment by tara. "spencer." and his head turns. "are you going to ride along to the hospital?" and it should've been the natural decision, except he's not feeling particularly ready. he takes a small step back, and it's one everyone seems to notice. the only people that were privy to what went down in that room were you, jj, and himself, and yet it felt like in that moment the entire team was given a front row seat to the obvious aftermath.

something had shifted, changed.

"y-" he shakes his head. "you go ahead." he offers, and tara's eyebrows raise. her shock makes him feel worse, but she doesn't question it. she climbs into the ambulance, and soon enough they're peeling out. his hand still hurts, the gash gnawing at him, but it's a welcomed pain. he'll have to bandage it soon though.

"spence." jj's wearing this look, a mixture of emotions he doesn't want to deal with. "it wasn't your fault." she insists. it doesn't make him feel any better, instead he's forced to come to terms with the decision he'd just made. you'd been taken to the hospital, and he'd stayed behind. he'd stayed behind and been reassured by jj.

you were never going to forgive him.

[seasidefae]

hellooo. i wanted to celebrate 100 followers somehow (thank you for following this yapper who can't drive!) i've been thinking about the carcar wag!oscar au A LOT. but since i don't have enough time and the creative energy to sort all these thoughts out into one 3k word one-shot right now, here are some more headcanons

welcome to the full throttle universe

i aged up oscar a little bit so they have a 4-year age difference. 26-year old oscar piastri, architect extraordinaire, with his passion projects that are mainly education and sports related. he also jumps at any chance to participate in pro bono projects for local charities in australia.

that’s how he met carlos, at a gala in madrid oscar wasn’t even supposed to attend but the company needed someone to proxy, kiss ass and what not, and everyone else was busy. oscar thought carlos was an obnoxious 1-percenter trust fund baby asshole who spilled wine all over him (accidentally), meanwhile carlos is the epitome of that one viral tiktok audio going “blah blah blah proper name place name back story stuff” while oscar is angrily whisper-yelling at him. the cherry on top of it all is when oscar complained about his expensive suit being ruined and carlos went, “i will just buy you a new one.” oscar almost punched him. almost.

oscar hasn’t forgotten about the whole ordeal even a year later when he and carlos met again at wimbledon. again, oscar got tickets from a friend and he was alone. carlos was also alone. unsurprisingly, he doesn’t recognize oscar at first. at that point oscar knows this is the rude guy at the gala but he’s aware that this is carlos sainz jr aka formula 1 driver carlos sainz jr. carlos is friendly and enthusiastic, talking in the general direction of oscar about tactics and carlos alcaraz. oscar blurts out, “i thought you were a golf guy.” that’s when carlos finally turns to him and recognition hits. (the attraction hasn’t changed either) he brought oscar to meet carlos alcaraz after, got his number, and the rest is history.

oscar first started appearing in carlos’ ig stories in the 2024 season. they had a year to really think about whether or not they want to commit. turns out they do. whenever carlos is asked about it, he just says, “oh that’s oscar” and redirects the question when he’s asked for details.

ig stories from carlos:

oscar’s ig is private, as well as all his other socials. he has like 50 followers, just friends and family that have been warned about leaks, so he has no trouble posting carlos.

ig stories from oscar:

has carlos ever slipped? the guy is tight lipped when he wants to. but mention oscar within his vicinity and he’ll have that smile that can’t be helped. people can speculate all they want.

oscar first started showing up to races in australia ‘24 aka 2 weeks after carlos’ surgery aka the race he won. oscar tried to talk him out of racing post-surgery but carlos insisted.

that’s also when the rumors started to really hit. like at first it’s a cute little thing that only 5 people have talked about, and the rest accepted the faceless guy in carlos’ ig stories and post as some rando friend named oscar. probably a childhood friend? his sister’s boyfriend? he’s not even tagged. but after australia, seeing oscar in the garage wearing the red headset, having his lower third be just “Oscar Piastri” when he appears on screen, and greeting Carlos at parc ferme when he won definitely raised some suspicion a lot more. it’s not like they weren’t ready for that. it took countless of meetings with pr people that oscar hated, a decision left fully in oscar’s hands and not carlos’ because carlos understands oscar’s need for privacy. “piñon and him have a lot in common.” going to the australian gp was more out of necessity. (for himself, considering he'll be sick with worry staying at home and wondering if carlos, who was 3-weeks post surgery, would fare okay. he just wants to make sure he's FINE.)

[lucyrose191]

I don't know if you're accepting writing requests, but I thought about it just now.

I don't know if you know that people are talking about Sebastian's “possible return” in 2025 with Mercedes. So I thought you could write part 3 of "a shared story"? Sort of like if the two of them came back, their son appeared. Anyway, it's up to you to write, that's all that came to mind.

A SHARED HISTORY: THE RETURN| S.VETTEL

Pairing; Sebastian Vettel x Wife!driver!reader

Summary; With the news of Lewis moving to Ferrari in 2025, the formula one world is in chaos and Mercedes is left to find a driver, why not ask their for their best to return?

Warnings; Lewis is perceived as a bit of a dick.

F1 Master List , Part 1, Part 2

When something was a constant in your life for so long it was hard to part with the routines that came with it which is why Y/N found herself in her and Seb’s home gym at five in the morning even over a year after retiring and only a few months after having a baby.

It was working well in her favour though because with the addition of the working out she did during her pregnancy she pretty much had her body back the way it was pre-baby.

She was scrolling through her phone to try and find a song to start her workout with when she got a notification from her f1 app and her face dropped as she clicked on it.

LEWIS HAMILTON TO JOIN FERRARI IN 2025

The message filled her screen as she simply stared in shock.

Workout forgotten, Y/N turned around and ran up the stairs. "Seb."

She jumped on their bed and aggressively shook him, "Sebastian, wake up!" She whisper shouted, not wanting to wake the baby. "Sebastian!"

He turned his head over to look up at her with half-closed eyes, "what time is it?" He muttered.

"Who cares? Lewis is moving to Ferrari."

That woke him right up, he pulled the top half of his body into a sitting position and forced his eyes fully open, looking at Y/N in disbelief. "What?"

"It’s everywhere, he’s driving for them in 2025."

Seb continued to look at her in shock, "Is he okay? How could he be so stupid?"

His words struck something within Y/N, knowing how rough her husbands time at Ferrari had been, how she had watched his demeanour shrink throughout the years he spent there, how guilty she felt winning near enough every race whilst the love of her life felt like he was getting nowhere.

It also caused her to think about Lewis himself and the things he had said about his team last season, as though Mercedes hadn’t made him who he was and now he was leaving after one particularly rough season. "Apparently he only told the team two days ago," she muttered.

"No," Seb uttered, not believing that Lewis would tell the team only two days before the entire world knew. "Poor Carlos," he added, knowing how Ferrari treated their drivers when they had found a replacement for them.

"You’d think Lewis wouldn’t have taken that seat considering he knows how toxic that environment is, I hope he doesn’t think he’ll be number one driver just because of his experience," Y/N thought aloud.

"He’ll be very disappointed if that’s what he does think," Seb scoffed, the resentment he felt towards Ferrari breaking through, it was hard not to with not only the way they treated him but the way the fans did too. Their refusal to accept that he was in fact not the problem but it’s in fact the poor communication and leadership within the team.

"I think I’ll ring Toto later, it’s four am in England right now, I doubt he’d be impressed if I rang him now." Y/N smirked.

Sebastian smiled "He’ll probably be up with the news being released."

Y/N hummed in agreement before reaching up to push Seb’s hair back from his forehead, "I’m going to go start this workout before Ansel wakes up, you can go back to sleep, sorry for waking you," she leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips.

"It’s okay, liebe." Sebastian laid back down and watched Y/N walk out the their bedroom, there was no chance he was going back to sleep now that she’d woken him up but she didn’t have to know that.

Later in the day.

"Hi, baby!" Y/N cooed to her son who she held in up in the air, loving the loud uncontrollable giggles that he let out. In the past two and a half months he hasn’t lost those beautiful blonde curls he got from Sebastian, bright white coils sprouted in every direction and with his bright blue eyes, baby Ansel would no doubt be a heartbreaker when he was older.

She laid him back down on the floor and tickled his belly, enticing another round of laughter to burst from him. "God I love you so much, you’re so cute."

"Liebe?" Seb walked into the living room with her phone in his hand.

"Yeah, who is it?" Y/N paused her tickling and allowed Ansel to catch his breath.

"Toto," her brows shot up in surprise at Sebastian’s response, she didn’t have to give him a call after all. "I’ll watch him whilst you speak to him," Seb handed her the phone before picking Ansel up from the floor with an over dramatic grunt and leaving the room.

Y/N places the phone against her ear, "Hello?"

"Y/N! Hi, how are you doing?" Toto’s thick Austrian accent sounded through the phone.

"I’m doing amazing, I’d ask you the same question but I’ve seen the news and I can’t imagine you’re doing great," she sympathised.

"It’s been chaotic to say the least," Toto replied honestly, "I only found out two days ago and I was surprised if I’m being honest."

"He only told you two days ago as well?" Y/N was surprised. "I saw that he told the team two days ago but I thought he would’ve told you sooner."

"I thought he would have too but he didn’t, I’m going to be straight with you, Y/N, I am calling for a particular reason."

Y/N stared at the blank wall in front of her, curious as to what he might’ve called for. "Go on…"

"Have you done much training or simulator work since retiring?" Toto asked absentmindedly.

His question shocked her into silence for a moment before replying. "I trained all throughout my pregnancy and I’ve still been training, I’ve cut back on the neck training but other than that it’s remained the same really and I’ve done a bit of simulator work but not much, I haven’t really found the time to keep that up."

"I understand, you’ve probably been very busy with a newborn, it can be hard," Toto said understandingly.

"I think we’ve been lucky to be honest, Ansel’s quite calm."

"I’m going to be blunt here," Toto told her, "what do you think of becoming a seven time world champion?"

Y/N froze completely at his question.

She knew what he was asking but she just couldn’t allow that idea to simmer in her mind, not when it had taken her so long to become content without racing in her life. "I have a son to take off."

"I know," Toto responded, "and I would never ask you to give that up, I understand completely how he is your number one priority, you have a family to take care of and I don’t expect you to put racing above your family but Y/N, you are the best driver Mercedes has ever had and I don’t believe you’ve accomplished everything you could."

"That’s a very big ask, Toto," Y/N released a heavy breath.

"It’s for 2025, you can sit on it until half way through the season but I can promise you if you agree, it will be a championship winning car." The confidence in Toto’s voice was impossible to miss.

"You’ve already started designing it, haven’t you?" She mused.

"Yes, we aren’t taking any chances of losing in 2025, we want you back Y/N, we didn’t want you to leave in the first place. George is a great driver but he’s only been with us one season and he is not number 1 driver ready yet."

"I’ll think about it but I am not promising anything," she iterated, wanting him to acknowledge that the chances of her returning were very very slim.

"I’m glad you’re at least considering it, take as long as you need," Toto repeated his earlier words and Y/N ensured she would be taking all of the time she was given before they bid their goodbyes.

As the call ended, Y/N felt a heavy wait in her chest, the idea of returning to formula one hadn’t even crossed her mind because she never thought the opportunity would even arise and her and Seb were making their family, the family they always wanted.

She pushed the idea out of her mind and pulled herself up from the floor, she walked into the kitchen and began looking through the fridge for ideas on what to make her and Seb for lunch.

"What did he want?"

Y/N jumped and snapped her head to the doorway where Seb was stood, holding a sleeping Ansel against his chest. He frowned at her reaction because she wasn’t one to be easily frightened.

"Uhm," Y/N cleared her throat and closed the fridge. "He was just asking how we were and telling me about the whole Lewis situation, the parts the media didn’t know."

Her response set off alarm bells in Sebastian’s mind that made him thing there was something else, something she hadn’t been anticipating. "Anything else?" He asked,

Y/N swallowed and looked down at the floor, she could never lie to him about anything but especially not something this big. "He, uhm, he asked me to come back. He wants me to drive for Mercedes again."

Sebastian’s hands subconsciously tightened around Ansel’s body at the news, he stood frozen in the doorway with a blank face as he processed what that could mean. "Wow," it was the only word that expressed what he was feeling right now.

Y/N scoffed out a laugh and nodded. "Yeah."

The lost look on her face tugged at Seb’s heart and he stepped across the threshold into the kitchen and walked closer to her. "Would you want to?" He asked in an almost whisper.

Y/N shrugged weakly. "I have no idea," she replied honestly. "When I retired, I felt lost and I thought that feeling would never leave and I convinced myself I had made the worst mistake I could ever make. I had everything, I was still at the height of my career and to suddenly not be racing anymore…. It was hard, you know that, but then Ansel was born and this new life we have made it all worth it to me. I accepted I wouldn’t be going back but now Toto is literally holding out that seat in the palm of his hand and i don’t know what to do."

Sebastian adjusted Ansel so he was holding him in one arm and wrapped the other around Y/N’s shoulder, pulling her into his body. She rested her head against his shoulder and wrapped her arms around her boys, smiling as Seb pressed a kiss to her head. "How long do you have before you need to make a decision?" He asked.

"Until about halfway through the season, I told him I’d probably need every bit of that time," Y/N muttered before looking up at him. "Can I ask you a question?"

Sebastian smirked, "you just did," he teased causing her to roll her eyes. "Go on." He added seriously this time.

"Would you be okay with it if I did say yes? I’m not saying I want to but I definitely wouldn’t if you want things to stay how they are, without all of the travelling."

It was one of the things that truly made their marriage work, they both understood that it was in fact a partnership and would never agree to something that the other person wasn’t a hundred percent on board with.

He thought about her question for a moment before answering. "I didn’t retire because of the travelling, I retired because I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. I wasn’t meant to be a midfield or back of the field driver and that’s the only place I ended up. If you find that you do want to return then Ansel and I will follow you."

The two of them left the conversation there, not speaking of it anymore for the next couple of weeks as Y/N didn’t want to stress herself with feeling the need to make a decision as quick as possible.

February 2024

"OH FUCK OFF!" Y/N groaned loudly the minute she saw Danica Patrick appear on the screen.

Sebastian tilted his head back against the sofa and laughed at her reaction.

They weren’t even half way through the first episode before she showed up onto the screen and YN wasn’t impressed to say the least. "Why the fuck is she here?"

"She wants to tell everyone what the mindset of an f1 driver is like," Sebastian teased and YN scoffed.

"Oh yes please, let this woman who knows nothing about f1 tell me how I felt when I was in that car for fifteen years. I mean, if they want a woman, ask Susie!"

"I doubt she’d say yes after last year." Sebastian snorted.

"Yeah, that’s true," YN agreed, reaching for the remote to skip until Danica was no longer on the screen.

2nd March 2024

In case Y/N did choose to return to formula one in 2025 she had returned to her full training and diet so that she would have as much preparation as possible which was why the coffee table was filled with healthy snacks, much to Seb’s dismay, as the pair of them snuggled up on the sofa with a now four month old Ansel between them, ready to watch the first race of the season.

The entire weekend her eyes hadn’t left the W15, it hadn’t surprised her that they had incorporated part of the iconic silver design that Mercedes was famous for since it was Lewis’ last season. She had watched the launch of the car and it felt awkward for her, knowing that Lewis was leaving made it feel tense but that could’ve just been her imagination.

The RedBull was a rocket which wasn’t surprising after their success last season, she doubted they had changed much, they hadn’t needed to but what was fascinating was how the W15 didn’t seem so bad in comparison, George was driving that car as if they were one.

Now being able to see the improvement from last year, the confidence she heard in Toto’s voice for next year made sense to her. She believed him in his promise that next years car would be capable of earning her a seventh title and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t now tempted.

"It’s looking good," Sebastian commented lightly, subtly side eying her.

"Yeah it is," She replied, her eyes not leaving the tv screen as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

A month later

Sebastian apprehensively walked into the living room, smiling at the sight of Y/N lying on the sofa with Ansel asleep against her chest, her hands resting on his back protectively.

She looked up at the sound of his light footsteps and smiled before noticing the wary expression on his face. "Hey, are you okay?"

Sebastian swallowed thickly. "You’re not going to believe this…."

Y/N rose a challenging brow, "yeah? Try me."

"Christian just called."

"Horner?"

Sebastian nodded, walking over and sitting on the sofa by Y/N’s feet. "He isn’t resigning Perez next year, he’s offered me a seat."

If it wasn’t for the seriousness of the conversation, the look of shock on Y/N’s face would’ve been laughable. "Seriously!?"

Sebastian nodded and Y/N let out a small laugh, "Wow," she whispered. "Do you want it?"

"I don’t know," he replied honestly. "I understand the pressure you feel under now, to make a decision. I asked if I could think it through, I also have till mid season to give an answer."

His words caused her to smile as a memory flickered through her mind.

"Seb and I entered formula one together and it feels right to leave it together too, it's great knowing that we quite literally went through the entire thing with each other"

The pair of them had never driven in formula one without the other, if they both returned then that connection between the two of them would remain too. It was a beautiful connection that meant a lot to Y/N for a reason she couldn’t really think of.

She didn’t want to lose that.

That one flicker of a memory had solidified her decision in a mere second.

"If you were in that RedBull would it return your drive and passion for racing?" She asked softly.

Seb set his eyes on his sleeping son for a moment as he thought about her question before returning his gaze to hers. "I think it would."

"Would it ignite a hunger for a fifth title?"

"Yes," Sebastian answered immediately and Y/N smiled.

RedBull was an important part of their careers, it was where she had started out and won her first title and it was where Seb had achieved all of his records and titles.

"I think you have your answer, Seb. You just haven’t convinced yourself it’s real."

Three months later, Austria 🇦🇹 (30th June 2024)

Sebastian and Y/N walked through the Spielberg paddock, a seven month old Ansel was attached to Sebastian’s chest in a baby carrier, his face covered from the cameras with a hat.

They waved to the fans as they walked by but didn’t stop to speak or take photos because they had places to be, they entered the pits and walked past eight team garages, parting once they reached the Mercedes garage, Sebastian continued towards RedBull.

Toto Wolff, the man she was looking for, was standing in the entrance and seemingly waiting for her.

Y/N walked up to him with a cheeky smile on her face and stood beside him in silence, the pair of them looking inside of the garage to where the mechanics were working on the car.

"You weren’t lying to me," she eventually spoke, keeping her voice quiet from prying ears.

Toto looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, not understanding what she meant.

"The car," she explained. "It’s going to be worthy of a title, isn’t it?"

She wasn’t talking about the car in front of her, she was talking about the W16, the one that hadn’t been built yet.

"Yes," he responded surely.

"Okay," she nodded, only now removing her eyes from the car to look him in the eyes. "Well, I want to look over your numbers and speak to the designers because I will not be driving a car that looks like a four year old picked it out and I get to choose how the news is released."

She watched as the realisation slowly took over his features, the shock that riddled his face would forever be ingrained into her mind. "Seriously?" He asked, voice filled with a mixture of disbelief and hope.

"Unless you’ve found someone else?" She asked teasingly, knowing he most certainly hadn’t and even if he had, he wanted her more.

Toto quickly shook his head as a smile grew on his face, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Y/N’s waist, lifting her feet from the floor as he took her into a bear hug, the pair of them laughed as he spun her round once in utter joy before setting her back down.

No doubt the media would soon be filled with suspicions and theories about what their conversation had been about and what she had said that had caused Toto’s overly happy reaction.

Just over a month later (beginning of August 2024)

With both Sebastian and YN now giving Toto and Christian the verbal agreement that they would drive for Mercedes and RedBull in 2025, it caused for both them and Ansel to make the move back to their property in England.

The summer break had now begun so it was the perfect time for them to sign their contracts and go through all of the necessary things to get prepared for next season and to get back into the swing of things.

This included deciding on when to announce the information of their return.

Both Sebastian and Y/N had given Christian and Toto the conditions that they wanted the news of their return to be together which meant a combined photoshoot and social media post from both Mercedes and RedBull teams.

It also meant that the two team principals and their heads of social media needed to work together to come to a compromise that everyone was happy with for the release.

They weren’t very happy having to work so close together but both were eager for their star drivers back that they pushed through.

It also meant that both teams were holding a shared secret about the other team.

As of right now the only people that knew Sebastian and Y/N Vettel were returning to Formula One were Christian, Toto and each teams head of social media, and family of course.

As neither team principal wanted to step into enemy territory, it left the announcement photoshoot to happen in the Vettel household.

The pair of them were stood in their living room in front of a black backdrop with their race suits on and since they didn’t have their 2025 helmets yet, they used the helmets they retired with.

Both their visors were up as they rested their foreheads against each other and stared into each other’s eyes with serious looks on their faces, preparing to show to the world that they were back and they weren’t playing around.

"Just cause you have your good luck charm back doesn’t mean you’ll be able to catch up to us."

Y/N and Seb rolled their eyes simultaneously,

"You’ve gotten very cocky after a short lucky streak, get to seven in a row and then we’ll start talking." Toto didn’t hesitate in replying.

"How about instead of comparing cock sizes, you two can figure out a date that we launch this news because you still haven’t came to an agreement." Y/N smiled sarcastically causing Sebastian to laugh at the way they promptly shut up.

"Great. If I have to listen to you two go at it next year then I will whip both your arses, got it?"

The two team principles nodded at her words so she turned back to Sebastian, who was looking at her in amusement, so that they could continue with the photos.

November 2024

It was Ansel’s first birthday today and you and Seb were refusing anything formula one today, the entire day was for your son and you both would give him every bit of your attention.

You and Seb were still 100% serious that he came above everything else and you both would remain stern on that, both Christian and Toto understood that yours and Sebastian’s conditions were that your son came first and that was the only reason you agreed to return.

Ansel didn’t at all understand the purpose of a birthday or opening presents so it left you and Seb to open his gifts but he did have the time of his life playing with all of his new toys.

Y/N still couldn’t believe this was her life. Sebastian and Ansel were her everything and to think if Christian Horner out of all people hadn’t taken a chance on her that she wouldn’t be where she is now is crazy and now she had been given the opportunity to return to the sport that had young drivers lining up to be a part of, she knew how lucky she was and she would never take it for granted.

December 2024, Abu Dhabi

If there was one thing that Christian and Toto had in common it was their flare for dramatics, both wished for the news of the Vettel’s returning to take the world by storm and so they were announcing it the day of the last race of the season which was in two days.

Barely any of the team even knew, George now did which he was thrilled about but Toto didn’t want to tell Lewis the news, Y/N thought he was feeling a bit petty and still a bit hurt from how long it took Lewis to tell him about him moving to Ferrari and just wanted to maybe get one up on the driver.

In the meantime, Y/N was going to take George’s car out for a couple of laps today before free practice and none of the team knew it yet but that was about to change.

The garage privacy barriers were up as the team watched in shock and building excitement as Y/N got into George’s car. She smiled as an immediate feeling of content mixed with anticipation built within her, her body knowing this is exactly where she belonged.

She had her 2022 helmet on so if anyone looked carefully they would definitely know that it was not George inside the car.

"Can you hear me, Marcus?"

"I can hear you loud and clear, Y/N. It’s good to have you back."

"Let’s do this then." She put a thumbs up towards one of the team members to move the barriers, gave a nod to Toto who was watching her with a blank expression on his face, (she thought he might be worried that she’d change her mind after giving this apparent shit box a drive) before she pressed down on the accelerator and left the garage.

Leaving the pits, Y/N grinned as best as she could beneath her helmet as she pressed down further on the throttle, smoothing through the gears as she increased her speed.

As she got onto the straight after turn 5, she heard Marcus in her ear. "How are you feeling, Y/N?"

"Great! Just like riding a bike." She replied, the tone of her voice making it clear that she had a large smile on her face.

"Nice to know you’ve still got it, we never doubted you for a second." Marcus told her before cutting the connection.

Up in the commentary box where David Croft and Martin Brundle were setting up for the weekend, they both looked out onto the track in confusion at the sight of the Mercedes, they hooked up their microphones before speaking.

"And that’s the Mercedes of George Russel on the track, free practise hasn’t started yet so I’m not sure if they’re allowed to be doing that…." Crofty’s voice sounded through the track speakers.

"That Mercedes seems to be driving better than it has all season, they haven’t put any updates on for the final race, have they? Is that even allowed?" Martin Brundle continued.

"Let’s see, are we able to take a closer look at that?" Crofty asked, followed by the screens on the grandstand zooming in on the car as it drove on the track. "…..that is not George Russell’s helmet…."

"Isn’t it? Who’s driving his car?" Martin questioned.

"I’m not sure, I’m also not sure this is actually allowed."

"I don’t think Mercedes actually care at this point- sorry, I’ll rephrase that actually. I don’t think Toto Wolff even cares what is allowed at this point."

"Okay, Y/N, if you could bring it into the pits now, we’re going to keep you in the car until the barriers are back up." Marcus instructed.

"Copy," Y/N replied.

The mechanics wheeled her into the garage and put the shutters down so that no one could see inside as she got out of the car.

As soon as her feet hit the ground she was embraced with pats on the back by happy team members.

George approached her with a smile on his face and was shaking his head at her. "I’m not sure how I feel about this anymore, you’d have managed to put that shit box on the second row with that second lap time." His tone made it clear that he was just joking and he was actually more than looking forward to have her as a team mate.

"I’ve still got it then, that’s good."

"It’s great," Toto’s voice from behind her made her jump and then around. "You think we should tell the team?"

"Now?" Y/N asked in surprise and Toto nodded, gesturing that she could do the honours.

Y/N gave him a toothy smile before stepping forward and climbing on top of George’s car, standing just in front of the halo, drawing the attention of everyone in the garage.

"Hey everyone! I know this season has been quite rough on you all, not just with the lack of results the team is used to but also with the fact that we all know Lewis has made the decision to leave Mercedes and join Ferrari which was as much of a surprise to me as I’m sure it was to you guys and it’s honestly been hard for me to see a lot of you feel a bit lost as to how the team can make a comeback and be on top but I do hope that next year you’ll all be able to see just how great Mercedes is and to hopefully regain that hunger because I know I’m hungry for a seventh title and I have every bit of faith that this team can help me achieve that when I come back and drive for you next year…."

The garage filled with a series of gasps followed by cheers that would definitely be heard from outside.

"…this is a finalised decision, Toto and I have been speaking all year and we’ve both signed the contract and I do hope you’re happy to have me back."

The team clapped and the garage was filled with whistles and cheers again as she finished and climbed down from the car.

"The news is going to be released Sunday morning so if you could all keep it on the down low until then it would be greatly appreciated!" She finalised before turning to Toto and George with a raised eyebrow. "There you go, no turning back now."

And for the rest of the weekend, the entire paddock could see the change in the Mercedes team, it seemed every member had a spring in their step as they walked through the track and they all seemed to have a permanent smile on their faces.

When asked about it they all seemed to give generic answers like ‘they were just happy to be here’ but no one believed it, not even Lewis who was left in the dark and when he asked about it he just got the same response.

But as Sunday morning came, both Mercedes and RedBull was filled with anticipation as the news of the Vettel’s return to the sport was shared across four Instagram accounts; RedBull, Mercedes, Y/N’s and Sebastian’s.

The world was taken by storm that morning, not only by the news of the return but also the fact that both teams had seemingly worked together to keep it under wraps.

Seb, Y/N, Christian and Toto entered the track together that morning and were bombarded with cameras and questions making both Vettel’s glad they had left Ansel at the hotel with Fabian who was going to bring him later in the day.

"Seb! Y/N! When did you decide to rejoin formula 1?"

"Christian, did you boot Perez before signing Sebastian or did tell him you were terminating his contract after you had already asked Sebastian to return?"

"Toto, did you ask Y/N to come back to get back at Lewis for leaving Mercedes?"

"Lewis said he had no idea of Y/N taking his seat, is there a reason you told the team but kept him in the dark?"

The four ignored the questions and continued their way into the track, not batting an eye at the other teams who watched as they walked by, astounded to see the four of them together.

"Feels good, doesn’t it? Success…." Christian smirked arrogantly causing Y/N, Seb and Toto to roll their eyes.

"I’d even go as far as saying we make a good team, us four." Toto added and Y/N scoffed.

"Please, this would’ve been a complete disaster had Seb and I not mediated the last year. The pair of you are a ticking time bomb."

Both team principals sent her affronted looks at her words which she ignored, once they reached the Mercedes garage, Seb leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Y/N’s temple. "I’ll come and get you later before the race and we’ll watch it together."

Y/N nodded with a smile and bid him goodbye.

Both her and Toto walked into the Mercedes garage and were met with whoops and cheers from the team causing her to laugh at their dramatics but she soon stopped at the sight of Lewis.

He was approaching her and he looked quite disgruntled.

"Both of you returning?" He asked.

Y/N shrugged. "Toto asked me and then Christian asked Seb a month later, it was purely a coincidence."

He didn’t look like he believed her but it didn’t bother her too much. "I thought it would’ve been off the cards now that you have a child."

Y/N looked at him in confusion. She thought it was a bit rude that he was bringing her son into a conversation that they were clearing having because he felt left out of the news.

"I wouldn’t have returned if Seb didn’t get approached by Christian, we’ve always been in F1 together and as soon as he was offered I knew that I wanted to come back."

"When was this?"

"I got asked in January, after your move was confirmed." Y/N replied honestly.

"You’ve kept that under wraps for a while then." He said in a tone that could only be described as bitter.

"Because we weren’t sure that we were actually going to return. It was a shock to us as well but it felt right and so we accepted. Toto and Christian agreed to wait until closer to the end of the season for the release so that the press would focus on this season and not next."

Which in her opinion is what he should’ve done.

"The team already knew." He stated.

Y/N nodded. "I told them on Friday that I would be driving for them, it’s really upped their motivation for 2025."

"Why didn’t I know?" He eventually just came out and asked.

Y/N looked at him strangely. "Because you chose to leave the team, Lewis. After today, you have to accept that Mercedes is no longer your team and whatever concerns them is no longer your business either. The teams plans for 2025 have no impact on you whatsoever."

Lewis bit his lip and nodded before walking away, nothing else to say.

Y/N watched after him for a moment. They had been teammates for eight years and had an amazing friendship through that but for some reason she had a feeling that was about to end since she was driving for Mercedes.

Had he really thought Toto wasn’t going to find a driver to replace him?

Just before the race.

Seb and Y/N were standing between the first two rows on the grid so they could be nearby Max and George as they got ready as Martin Brundle approached them for his grid walk.

"Sebastian! Y/N! Could I have a quick word?"

"Go on then," Y/N nodded.

"So, you’ve surprised us all this morning by announcing that you’ll both be returning next season, Sebastian you’re going to RedBull and Y/N you’re returning to Mercedes. We want to know something, anything about the process cause nobody was expecting this."

Sebastian smiled. "It’s nothing exciting. After the news of Lewis going to Ferrari, Toto wondered if there was a chance for Y/N to return and then about a month later Christian also called and asked me if I would be willing to come back."

Martin nodded before turning to Y/N. "After Mercedes’ rough two year since you left, do you think they’ll be able to get back on top next year."

Y/N smirked. "I wouldn’t be returning if there wasn’t a chance for me to become a seven time world champion, Martin."

He seemed to be delighted by the news and nodded, thanking the two of them before walking away to hopefully find some of the drivers.

Sebastian wrapped his arm around Y/N as they started walking back towards the garages. "Where do you want to watch it from?"

Y/N thought for a moment. "We’ll watch it from RedBull."

2025

"Okay, state your name, occupation and your team." The woman behind the camera instructed.

Y/N smiled at the camera and began speaking. "I’m Y/N Vettel and I’m a Formula One driver for Mercedes AMG Petronas Formula One team."

She then leaned forward and stared directly into the lens. "I’M BACCKKKKKK!"

Bahrain. 🇧🇭

"Okay, Y/N, are you ready to become a seven time world champion?" Bono asked over the radio.

"You bet I am." She replied confidentially.

"Are you going to become a five time world champion, sunshine?" Hugh asked Sebastian, using the nickname from when Seb won his first all those years ago.

Seb smiled. "That depends on how nice Y/N is feeling."

Y/N kept her gaze on the lights as each one appeared and as soon as they disappeared she let up off the break and slammed her foot down onto the accelerator, both her and Seb driving along side each other as they approached the first corner.

2025 was certainly going to be an interesting season.

[biblicallyaccuratemoth]

Amphibia has middle child dyndrome next to Gravity Falls and The Owl House

Let this be a lesson to everyone. Send me an ask about some things, and I will reply with a wall of text.

I'm gonna get into some Amphibia spoilers here, so if you haven't seen it, go watch it. The first season is slow, that's not a bug it's a feature.

Amphibia I don't think suffers from middle-child syndrome. Amphibia suffers from expectation issues from the audience, and that comes firstly from when exactly it was airing. Amphibia hit the scene in 2019, 3 years after the end of Gravity Falls (a whole 7 years after Gravity Falls began), during Star vs the Forces of Evil's fall from grace, and less than a year before The Owl House started airing. It was a time when the TV-Animation scene was still much stronger than it is today. Steven Universe: Future was on the horizon later that year, Adventure Time was in its final moments, and there was a lot of expectation about who was gonna be taking up the mantle of the animated show to watch. With Matt Braly, a Gravity Falls alumni, at the helm, Amphibia had a good chance.

And then the first season aired, and people seemed offputt. It's deliberately a lot slower than The Owl House, Gravity Falls, and the other shows of that era. It's quieter. Lower stakes and with less of that dark core that defined TOH and GF. But that's a deception- in reality, Amphibia is just as dark and just as complex. It just hides it.

Season 1 of Amphibia is crucial, but it also misleads the audience. It feels younger than its competition. Episodes are based around seemingly 'simple' morals of honesty, hard work, fixing mistakes, and so on. But the thing that sets it apart is this. Ann learns from her mistakes and becomes recognizeably different by the end of the first season. She's the same person, but her view of herself, her relationship with the Plantar family, and her place in Wartwood have all changed fundamentally. And so by the time Sasha appears at the end of season 1, Ann is no longer the same person that Sasha once knew.

And the brilliance of Amphibia is that, as Ann is doing this, so are Sasha and Marcy. In a way they've each undergone their own hero's journeys, faced challenges and temptation, and emerged from the other side fundamentally changed. And that's where the thematic core of Amphibia becomes clear.

Amphibia is about what happens when people (and members of society) who care about each other have grown in ways that make their former relationships to each other impossible.

Ann doesn't only gain the ability to stand up for herself. She clearly defines her moral compass apart from Sasha and discovers that, even if it's difficult, there are things she needs to fight for and protect.

Sasha is a gifted leader and a brilliant tactician but she's also manipulative and cruel. Underneath that, though, she does care about her friends dearly. She's just perverted that affection into something wholly toxic. Grimes understands her explicitly and encourages both the good and the bad, in her. She becomes stronger, more determined, and more able to bend situations to her will but she does so at the cost of any remaining boundaries she had.

Marcy outright regresses, even if she doesn't realize it. She gives herself fully into the fantasy and embraces her role as the 'heroic' savior from another world, and doesn't realize that she's causing the people around her pain. And that before getting into how she fails to see the danger she's in.

By the time Ann, Sasha, and Marcy find each other again, these changes in who they are have made it so they can't go back to how things were. Ann isn't the pushover she was. Sasha's veneer of kindness (with a genuine undercurrent of warped compassion) dissolves. Marcy isn't engaging with the people around her anymore, at least not genuinely. She's in her own fantasy long before the Core puts her there, and she suffers for it.

Amphibia is a piece of art. Honest and truly. I may prefer the Owl House but that doesn't mean I don't love Amphibia with all my heart. I honestly think it plays its cards so well that it fools the audience at first, and that's a really impressive narrative trick.

[notsofrozt]

So, for y'all "S2 Jayce meets S1 Viktor" hungry folks, here's a list of 5 of the bookmarks I've been collecting (for you specially @maiawhimsicalt) in no particular order and with no particular comentary, my braincells are on strike rn:

1. Of Memories and Tomorrows by Lieyantosh

Post-Season 2 Jayce and Season 1 Viktor, the grief of having lost your soulmate while having to look at his younger version who doesn’t even know you, the endless exhaustion of being a second-hand love and also science.

This fic has changed something in my I cannot describe, and if anyone here even remotely likes Arcane (or even if you don't know the series at all, it's that well written) y'all should read it right know.

You didn't hate me because of what my future self did,” Viktor said, feeling distinctly pathetic. There was a certain vulnerability in this, like he was opening up his ribcage for Jayce to see. “You hate me because I'm not him. Because you came back. And he didn't.”

2. the future came undone by Lieyantosh

Instead of appearing several months after the wild rune took him, Jayce lands in the past and decides to take out Viktor before he can turn into the monster he saw in the future.

This author is just *chef kiss*

3. intertwined, sewn together by lamoureg

Just as soon as the dance begins, it’s over.

In the silver, the faint mist rays of light, he can make out a face. One that’s achingly familiar, one he knows like the back of his hand, yet isn’t familiar with whatsoever. A man, bronze skin pallid and devoid of the life Viktor is so used to seeing. Shaggy dark hair hanging in curtains around his face — a face littered with cuts and bruises, stained with dirt and soot. Heavy set brows and eyes wide in shock.

Rather inappropriately, Viktor’s first thought is oh, fuck. And his second. And his third.

Because staring back at him is Jayce.

If you read this with Jinx and Ekko's song playing in the background you're going to cry.

4. You’re starting to look really weird by anónimo

Viktor lays awake, listening to the steady breathing beside him. The breathing of a man sleeping on his husband’s side of the bed, in his husband’s clothes, with his husband’s face, but who is most certainly not his husband.

This one has a very original concept: the reunion from Viktor's POV. Older Jayce got Ekko'd into his other self's body, so there's a stranger inhabiting his partner. It delves into that whole psychological horror aspect. I love it.

5. Stay Your Pretty Eyes On Course by Neibba

“I do not recall telling you my name.” Viktor stated matter-of-factly. “Yet you know it. Have we met?” Yes. Many times. Practically lived together inside their lab, but he couldn’t tell Viktor that. No, this Viktor had no idea who Jayce really was, and he intended on keeping it that way.

After the Hexcore collapsed, Jayce gets sent back to where it all started, the day he met Viktor, but Viktor seems to have no recollection of him. What happens when Jayce gets another chance, knowing what he knows now.

This author is a writing machine powered by glorious evolution and brainworms. I love this fic, its updated almost daily, and the way the relationship between the two of them develops is wonderful.

I have many, many more saved, especially one shots of S2!Jayce having all kinds of breakdown as soon as he sees S1!Viktor. I'll make another list later when deadlines aren't breathing on my neck.

I hope you like it!!!

[mieldreams]

A Very Berry Christmas

Summary: A certain berry incident leads to finally getting to know the family from down the hall. Could the season's greetings blossom into the start of something sweet?

pairing: single dad!Anakin x single nurse!reader

warnings: lame attempts at humour, brief mentions of barf. a whole lotta xmas puns.

word count: ~4.5k (someone needs to teach me how to not make everything 2k+)

You're sleeping peacefully in your cozy bed when you hear it. Three loud knocks that rouse you from your sleep. Or try to– you have half the mind to simply turn around and pull the covers back over your head and go back to sleep. In fact, that's exactly what you do, maybe this is just some weird dream.

Three more knocks, and they beat down more urgently on your door. That's when your reptilian brain kicks in, instincts taking over as your eyes fly open and you push off the covers to grab the giant candy cane prop you'd gotten on discount that you'd temporarily propped by your bed. It's not that you live in a shady area or anything, but you'd rather take chances on your poor hand-eye coordination with a fake candy cane than face whoever was at your door at– you check the clock on the wall, at 1 in the morning without one.

As you reach the front door you curse the old apartment and your annoying landlord for not installing even just a peephole to see who you'd have to fight off at the witching hour. There had to be some sort of basic requirement for safety in these apartments right? You'd have to check for that later since the more pressing matter was now loudly knocking on your door once again. You're thankful it's only you and that man with the twins on your floor, though for his sake you hope the twins aren't light sleepers.

This time the person only knocks twice before abruptly stopping. Should you open the door or simply walk away now that the knocking had stopped?

Your contemplation doesn't last long as you hear voices through the door, a rough voice telling someone to go back inside followed by loud shushing sounds as you hear a child crying. Curiosity gets the best of you and you quickly toss the candy cane aside to throw the door open and the sight that greets you immediately concerns you.

It's the man from down the hall, Mr Skywalker, and gosh he looks miserable. Though it's not like you'd know what he usually looks like, you'd only ever seen him in fleeting moments – sometimes with the twins, sometimes alone, the only reason you even knew his name was because you'd accidentally gotten his mail once. He's halfway down the hallway between his and your apartment and you assume he's the one who had knocked. When he turns around at the sound of your door opening you realise he's carrying a small boy on his hip who's a little red in the face, eyes still scrunched from crying.

"Oh thank god," he makes his way towards you again, "I know this is really sudden and I apologise for disturbing your sleep, but could you please look after my daughter for a while? I have to take my son to the hospital urgently and I don't want her to be alone, she's very well behaved— won't cause you any trouble I promise—" he's frantic as he explains, "Leia! Can you come out here please?" He's calling her over before you can get a word out, not that you were against helping him.

A girl, just as small as the boy, peeks her head around the doorframe of the apartment down the hall. Her father lightly bends down and wiggles his fingers to call her over. You use the brief moment to observe the man for the first time since he appeared at your door. You take in his sleep-tousled caramel blond hair, the wrinkled white henley that was clearly old from the way it stretched over his broad chest and shoulders despite the buttons being undone, probably bought at a time when he wasn't so...muscley. Your eyes quickly move down before your thoughts can continue down that line only to make it worse when your gaze lands on the strip of skin exposed by his shirt riding up, the prominent v-line peeking above the black sweats that sit low on his hips.

As the little girl slowly makes her way to where the two of you are you quickly avert your gaze. It would be mortifying to be caught ogling her father.

"Sir, if you don't mind me asking, what happened to your son?"

Once little Leia reaches him and takes his hand he turns to you again, "We were making blueberry pie— going to— but Luke ate some of the blueberries and then started throwing up," he worriedly looks back at his son on his hip, tucking him closer as Luke shivers in his arms and curls into his dad.

Looking at Anakin, then back at Luke you clear the remainder of sleepiness from your voice, "I don't mean to intrude sir," you start slowly, "but I happen to know a thing or two about allergies, you can totally still go to the hospital but maybe I can take a look at your son for you?"

When he doesn't answer you get nervous and start rambling, "I know what I'm doing, I'm a nurse you see— I swear, I even have my certification for this– I could show you if you want," You make a move to retreat back into your apartment but Anakin's hand on your wrist stops you.

You gasp when you feel cold metal rather than flesh, eyes going wide as you turn to look at his palm wrapped around your wrist and for the first time you notice that his arm isn't human.

Anakin hears the little sound and immediately curses himself in his mind.

What the fuck were you thinking – grabbing her wrist like that, specifically with the metal arm when it's already freezing.

He quickly apologises before dropping your hand and you look at him again as he runs a nervous hand through his hair, "Could you do that? Would you do that? Take a look at him I mean," if it weren't for the situation at hand you'd have thought his stuttering and awkwardness were cute and holy shit he was so much prettier up close but you push those thoughts aside as your work brain kicks in.

You hope it's nothing too serious and that the poor man doesn't have to rush to the hospital at this hour.

You invite him and his children into your apartment, leading the little boy and his father into the kitchen while giving Leia full access to your plushie collection as you drop a whole bunch of them on the couch to make her a little more comfortable and keep her distracted while you check on her brother.

Though, when you tell her to get comfy she singles out a fluffy highland cow plushie that you'd customised to match the holiday spirit with a mini red santa hat, and then turns to you with big eyes, "Can I read those?"

When you follow her little finger you realise she's pointing at the stack of old newspapers. You shrug, "Sure, why not," you pick up a part of the pile and lay it out in front of her to let her pick.

Whatever keeps her busy you guess. She thanks you for it and you leave her there on the couch before heading to the kitchen. On the way you make a detour to the bathroom to check for any allergy medicine in case it was something mild.

When you walk into the kitchen you notice Luke is no longer crying, rather slumped against his father, cheek squished against his dad's shoulder. Probably tired from all the crying and throwing up, you think to yourself. You place the few bottles of medicine you had grabbed on the counter and ask him to sit Luke on it as well.

You fill up two glasses of water, handing one to Anakin and holding one out for Luke but he simply shakes his head.

"Does he have any allergies or anything like that?"

Anakin shakes his head no, "Not that I know of. And he's had blueberries before but never such a reaction to them," he tells you, worried eyes constantly shifting between you and Luke.

"Did he have any other reaction other than throwing up?"

The man shakes his head no again, "He only threw up. At first I thought it was one of those 'kids puke all the time' things but then he threw up again and complained about his stomach hurting and wouldn't stop crying."

You walk over to the cabinet in your kitchen and pull out an old friend, hiding him behind your back as you walk back to Luke. He was somewhat calmer now but you didn't want him getting upset again so maybe a distraction would be nice, "Hey Luke. I have a little buddy here who'd like to get to know you, he wants to play with you, do you wanna meet him?"

Curious but still shy he slowly nods his head, a feeble "okay" escaping his lips.

You pull out the old dinosaur toy you'd had since...gosh you couldn't even remember anymore. It was a little faded and worn (well loved is what you called it) but he was soft and smelled clean so maybe it would help.

"This is Rex the T-Rex. He says he's really happy to meet you." You wiggle the dino's hand in a little wave. You pretend that Rex the T-Rex whispers something in your ear, nodding like you understand what he wants to convey.

"He says he wants to talk to you, but he's very shy so maybe you can hold his hand to get to know him? He's a doctor you see, so he wants to ask you a few questions, can you answer them Luke?"

The little boy thankfully looks intrigued enough by the old toy, quietly taking him when you place it in his lap and nodding okay once again.

You then quickly start your assessment with a few questions, "Luke, do you feel any itchiness anywhere?"

The boy shakes his head no. You then ask him how he feels right now and only get a 'sleepy' in response. You could never be too sure with allergies, it was different for different people, but judging from everything you knew till now you had a suspicion this wasn't allergies.

"Luke, how many blueberries did you eat?"

The boy holds up his tiny fist, closing and opening it to show you, "just this much."

"You only had that many berries?"

He gives a 'mhm' while fiddling with the rainbow bracelet on his wrist, "I had them after dad washed them, then I had them after they were cold in the fridge then when we baked the crust and then when we were making the inside thing."

You have to stop yourself from laughing as Luke's father narrows his eyes at him, "Luke, how many blueberries did you have?"

The boy innocently holds up his tiny fist again, waving it in his dad's face this time, "this much."

"But you had that much four times?"

"Uh-huh," hearing his dad's tired sigh as he drops his head into his hand is what breaks you, and you can't help but snort.

You move towards the sink to wet a small cloth before taking it over to him, "Here, you can wipe the fruit on his face, the smell of it might be making it worse," then you leave them alone to head to your bedroom to find one of your older sweatshirts that had shrunken in size after your friend accidentally machine washed it when she borrowed it for a Christmas party.

You finally manage to pull out the old garment from the corner of your closet after struggling to pull out one sleeve that was stuck under a heap of clothes, making you fall on your ass when it finally came loose. You get up and dust your shorts off with a glared huff at the pile of clothes that you were too lazy to sort before heading back to the kitchen.

Since you had already decided what to do for Luke's nausea, you ask Leia if she would like some of the ginger honey tea you were planning to make. When she answers with a "yes, please," you smile at her and tell her you'll bring it to her in a minute before entering the kitchen.

Seeing that Anakin has finished cleaning up all the berry stains from Luke's hands and around his mouth you walk over to hand him the sweater, "I think it'll be better to have him out of that t-shirt, it doesn't exactly have the most...pleasant smell." You try not to make a face at the faint lingering smell of barf and blueberries – a combination you know will haunt you for quite some time.

Anakin takes the sweater from you, and you turn around towards the stove to start making the tea, "I think a little honey-ginger tea might help with the nausea, can he have that?" You glance at Anakin as you stretch up to pull out the ingredients and he barely avoids being caught staring at the sliver of skin peeking under from your shirt when it rides up.

He clears his throat, "Um, yeah— yeah he can have it." He glances at Luke who's still toying with the dino plushie you gave him. You turn back around to watch the boiling water and hear Anakin gently talking to Luke as he switches his spoilt shirt for your sweater.

With your back still turned to the two you realise that Anakin has a very nice voice – it's very calm and gentle, a smooth cadence that makes you think you could listen to him forever. You wonder how old he is, he didn't look that much older than you but the way he panicked with Luke made it seem like he was a bit inexperienced with such occurrences. Though you definitely had the advantage of your job to thank for your knowledge.

A soft amused chuckle is what pulls you from your thoughts, making you turn around as you switch to low heat. You see Anakin smiling at his son's form on the counter, drowning in your shrunk sweater that was still too big for him. You notice his gaze fixed on the graphics of the sweater – a 'Sleigh All Day' written above the picture of Santa Clause and Rudolph chilling on a sleigh like it was a beach chair, sunnies on and drinks in their hands.

His gaze then shifts to the sweater you're wearing, a dark blue with a white font that says, 'Birch, please.' with the photo of a sassy Christmas tree and it actually makes him snort. You smirk at him before turning back to the tea as he asks, "How many of these do you have?"

You glance at him from the corner of your eye, still smirking, "Do you really wanna know?"

He shakes his head with a smile before clearing his throat, "I uh- I want to thank you for doing all this. Specifically so late at night, and also— I'm really sorry for barging in on you and disturbing you. Neither of the twins have ever had a reaction like that, they're really smart and absolute angels, so tonight just...scared me a little." His voice fades out at the end and you turn the stove off as you turn to look at him again. He's gently running his hands through his son's hair, somehow smoothing out and messing up his hair at the same time.

Luke hasn't said much in the past few minutes but seeing the little boy almost drowning in your too-large sweatshirt as he's lost in his own play world makes a warmth bloom in your chest. Both the twins seem so well-mannered and calm that you're sure Anakin's right and they really must be angels.

"That's alright. Takes a village to raise kids, right? I'm glad I could help. And that it wasn't something too serious."

"I'm sorry— I feel like I've intruded in your house and haven't even given a proper introduction. I'm Anakin. The little blueberry monster is Luke," he points at his son, playfully ruffling his hair and making him giggle and duck to avoid the attack, "and my daughter— that's Leia."

You smile back at him, telling him your name in return, "It's nice to meet all of you." You turn back to finish preparing the tea, pouring it into four different cups for which you apologize with a grimace, "Sorry they're all...like that. I hardly have people over so I don't really have proper tea cup sets..."

Anakin would reassure you that it was nothing if he wasn't busy trying to contain the immediate smile threatening to grow on his face when he sees his cup – a white mug with the words, 'I just took a DNA test turns out, I'm a 100%' on one side and 'that Grinch' on the other, with the Grinch's iconic smiling face staring back at him of course.

He then takes a look at Luke's cup as you go to call Leia for the tea, not wanting the little girl to be alone in the living room. He notices it's a plain white porcelain with the words 'Wake me up before you cocoa' and a cartoon of a singing chocolate bar wrapped up in a red and green scarf.

You must really like Christmas he thinks.

You hear the little patters of her feet before she shows up at the doorway and you call her over. Before you can ask if she wants to sit next to her brother she's already raising her arms to be lifted onto the counter, and before Anakin can step in you're already lifting her into your arms and gently placing her on the countertop next to her twin who excitedly begins to show his sister his new friend while waiting for his tea to cool down.

Leia thanks you for the help again and you can't help but be amused at the kid's manners. She seems to be very well-spoken for someone so tiny, and you wonder if that's from her father or her mother, which in turn makes you think about these kids' mother.

Anakin seemed to live alone, and you had never seen any woman visiting his apartment, other than the one time you saw the twins with a tan woman in the parking lot when you came back from work, though you're pretty sure you overheard them call her 'Auntie'.

"Ouch, hot! Hot! Hot!"

Luke's tiny yelps snap you out of your thoughts and you watch as Anakin quickly puts down his own cup and reaches out to take Luke's from him, placing it on the counter beside him while scolding Luke with an 'I told you to wait till it cools down—'

Followed by a whine from his son "I did! It didn't have the hot floating steam anymore—"

"—and I told you that you should always check first with a tiny sip."

"But you always drink really hot coffee really fast."

"That's 'cause I don't have time in the morning and need to at least pretend to be listening when someone talks to me."

" I wanna try coffee too—"

Anakin sighs, "—No Luke, you cannot—"

Leia simply sits beside her twin, shaking her head with a soft sigh as she listens to her father and brother argue.

You can't help but be amused by this little family before you as they continue their bickering, entertained by their chaos and curious because—

"Why were you guys baking at one in the morning?" It escapes out before you realise and you quickly bite your tongue, chastising yourself in your mind, ohmagosh you can't just ask people why they're baking at one in the morning.

"—sorry you don't have to answer that, just got curious," you awkwardly shuffle on your feet, laughing in embarrassment before you move forward to take everyone's empty cups to the sink.

"It's okay," Anakin speaks up, "We have a tradition of baking something every weekend for the entire month of December. The twins were craving some pie and it's the weekend so I thought why not? Their mother used to bake the best desserts, I can't live up to that standard but...I try."

His words once again make you curious about their mother but this time you manage to bite your tongue in time. From his slightly breathier tone you can tell that the story here isn't exactly happy so you don't try to pry.

Seeing as the twins were getting drowsy, now that the adrenaline of the chaos had worn off and been replaced by the warmth of the sweet tea, Anakin pushes off the counter, "Anyways, thank you so much for helping us— helping me. And sorry we disturbed you."

You dismiss his apology with a wave of your hand as Anakin lifts the kids off the counter though Luke requests to be carried back again.

"I'm glad I could help. Kids can give real scares to their parents sometimes, I know I did –many times," you joke as you follow the man and his children out of your kitchen to the front door.

Anakin didn't know you too well, just a few casual run-ins that come with living on the same floor. Though he doesn't know how casual he can consider it when you always seemed to be in a hurry of some sort, finding out your job as a nurse makes things make more sense but still, you were a jittery little thing. He remembers that time when he was awake late one summer night, the twins were at Ahsoka's and he couldn't sleep so he'd stepped out for fresh air. He guessed you were coming home late from work, hair a tangled mess and feet dragging on the ground. You were carrying some paperwork and maybe it was the late night shift or maybe it was the dark parking lot but you accidentally ran into a tree near the door to the building, your paperwork falling from your hands. You quickly bent down to pick it up and then immediately started apologising to the tree and thanked it for helping you pick up the papers, then wished it a good evening and walked away.

He also remembers the time he overheard you talking to your friend in the hallway about babysitting their cat, but the next morning when he ran into you at the laundry there were long claw marks running up and down your arms that you quickly tried to hide by pulling down the sleeves of your sweater and a sheepish smile.

"Took my friend's cat for a walk. Some of the neighbourhood strays didn't like that. Almost lost an eye trying to separate those little bastards." "I mean catfights, amiright?" You had joked and he had only stared in disbelief and mild concern, hoping you had at least gotten the scratches checked out for infections.

He also remembers seeing you a few days back, struggling to drag a too-big-for-an-apartment Christmas tree across the parking lot, he would have helped you if he wasn't sure that he'd spook you in the dark empty lot. Though he didn't see the tree anywhere in your living space when he walked in so he wonders what happened to it.

He turns around at your doorway to look at you again.

"I don't doubt it."

Is that a smirk on Anakin's face? Is he messing with you right now?

You roll your eyes, shaking your head with a laugh.

"I'm just glad it wasn't anything too serious, hopefully though we'll keep the blueberry consumption to a limit from now on." You tease as you ruffle Luke's hair. He makes a gagging face at the mention of eating blueberries and it makes you laugh again.

"Guess berry pie will have to be put off for a while, huh?"

Anakin sighs as he adjusts Luke on his hip, pulling his daughter closer as she slips her tiny hand into his, "I guess so."

He looks back up at you and you're once again stunned speechless by how pretty he is, long eyelashes fluttering and pretty thunderstorm eyes rimmed red by the lack of sleep. He is still one of, if not, the most gorgeous man you've ever seen.

You've noticed that Anakin is a somewhat hard person to read. With the diverse variety of people that came to your work and the ones you helped, you had become sort of used to being able to read people. The way they behaved in emergencies alone told you a lot about a person. But for some reason, other than the panic when he first knocked on your door, you couldn't at all tell what he was thinking right now. And considering he seemed to be a first-time father, especially to twins, you suppose the panic was warranted.

Anakin's intense gaze fixated on you makes you nervous, so you let out an awkward chuckle while wringing your sweater paw hands, "I'd wish you an advanced 'Berry Christmas' but I feel like we've had more than enough of those, huh?"

You cringe and once again curse yourself at the lame attempt at breaking the silence that had lulled over and trying to escape Anakin's sharp eyes. You expect him to scoff and walk away from you as quickly as possible and maybe never talk to you again but instead he just smirks and looks down. He catches sight of the giant candy cane decoration you'd thrown aside and shakes his head, chuckling.

He starts guiding Leia and carrying Luke back down the hall towards their apartment and you think you're right, he's never gonna wanna talk to you again. He probably thinks you're some Christmas-obsessed weirdo who makes godawful jokes and he's gonna tell Luke and Leia to never talk to you again as well and—

With his back turned to you, his voice carries across the hall, snapping you out of your thoughts. He enters his apartment and pokes his head out to give you one last look, eyes looking you over once before he smirks, "There's better weapons out there than candy canes." And then his door shuts.

Your eyes widen when you realise he's joking with you and not immediately rushing to report you or something, and you laugh as you close your door.

As you stand in your apartment with your back pressed against the closed door, you can't contain the growing smile on your face. You hope you get to see more of the cute and slightly chaotic family living down the hall.

dividers by @strangergraphics and @tsunami-of-tears

A/N: an advanced berry christmas to everybody! :)

ps. what do y'all call Anakin's hair colour?

[mothknight42]

i think part of what makes the guide and nadja compelling for me is that i genuinely believe, deep down, past the annoying clingyness of the guide and nadja's casually cruel unobservant nature ....... a lot of their tension comes from the fact that nadja feels threatened by the guide. hear me out (below the cut)

nadja spends a lot of the series bemoaning her lack of close female friends. she hates how everyone assumes she hates other women, she gets so excited over girls night, she has that entire arc with jenna that is both 1) a sort of healing for her own past awkward lonely self and 2) a way to connect with and HELP a fellow woman. and yet, when the guide appears - another woman! another VAMPIRE woman! someone she can commiserate with, someone who provides her an out away from the boys, someone who is actually an equal to her unlike dolly or jenna or marwa - she rejects her with swiftness.

and sure, the guide is tight laced and annoying and neurotic. and sure, a lot of the show is a meditation on friendship, and it is clear that our main vampires value friendship highly and don't want to just give it to someone like the guide (a lapdog for the council that tried to kill them, not to mention a complete outsider with shitty people skills).

but the guide loosens up by the time season 4 rolls around! she actively helps nadja with the nightclub and defers to her as mistress! we learn she was SO crazy sexy cool the other vamps forced her into eternal servitude! and as for friendship, the guide is their friend! she tries to help them (nandor's worldwide trip planning, nadja with the nightclub/dolly getting laid, fixing the sleep hypnosis for some examples), she is there for multiple antics, she pays attention to their interests (the fencing scene with laszlo is genuinely so fun) and she clearly cares for them. as much as they dismiss her and pretend not to gives a rats ass about her, they LET her stick around and LET her help and even ask for it sometimes.

so why then does nadja keep pushing her away? the guide is no more annoying than nandor or laszlo or guillermo on a bad day, and quite frankly she tends to be a lot more useful.

but THAT is the problem. the guide is useful. she is powerful in her own right (mist power / fucking around with witch magic / old and wise and experienced, more so than our main vamps). she may be a servant, but she is one with at least SOME sway and connections to the vampiric council. and nadja is terrified and jealous of that.

cause of course she is, right? nadja, the only woman for decades with a group of egotistical men, constantly fighting to have her voice heard and respected - part of her growth arc for season four is her unlocking that killer scream power! it isn't subtle! nadja jumped at the chance to leader the vampiric council, and unlike nandor has no qualms over flexing her power to keep others in line. she was ecstatic to be offered a position on the supreme worldwide vampiric council.

and then nandor constantly undermined her and made a million dumb decisions she was forced to fix. and then the supreme council put her in a useless committee where no on listened to her. and then she came home and had to deal with her family hindering her nightclub plans. nadja is constantly disempowered by the people she loves and respects the most.

and then there is the guide. sure the guide isn't at all liked - but she is respected. she is trusted with important vampiric council duties from day one of seeing her. she has interesting and unique powers. she commands all the wraiths with barely a thought. she is knowledgeable and helpful. even when our main vamp family don't like her, they respect what she knows and what she can do.

in many ways, i think the guide has the kind of unquestioned power and respect that nadja craves - and thus nadja cannot help but be petty and jealous and intimidated, whether or not she is fully conscious of that. (and i don't think she is; dolly's flight from home proved that nadja is not always in touch with her emotions, even when they are intense and impactful to others around her).

and what is the only thing she has over the guide, her special something the guide can never have? her family, and her ability to connect with people. so of course she uses this against the guide. of course she shuts the guide out and makes her feel small and rejects her over and over ...... because secretly she feels LESSER than the guide, and thus wants to make the guide feel lesser.

it is about power, it is about control, it is about nadja never feeling like she has a purpose and meeting someone who has had a purpose for centuries and used it to become smart and powerful in ways she only dreams of.

and of course, the tragedy of it all is that the grass is always greener. the guide would trade it all for a family of her own - for close friends and companions who care about her, who like her, hell, who just acknowledge her! her 'purpose' is a punishment, quite literally! and of course, she doesn't see herself as particularly cool or powerful, so the idea that nadja's rejection of her is stemming from jealousy never crosses her mind. she is a lackey, an overworked servant, a lonely woman desperate for connection surrounded by literal ghosts.

the guide and nadja are of course very fun to look at through a toxic yuri/clingy woman and uncaring object of her affections lens but i definitely think it is deeper than that and, quite frankly, more compelling.

[emeryhiro]

My thoughts on The Book Of Carol Episode 1

-Spoiler-free edition-

I know that some information about what was discussed during the panel has already been posted online, but I personally will try my best to refrain from posting about it since that was what was requested before the episode showing, and the panel.

Setting the tone for the rest of season 2

Firstly, Episode 1 immediately starts the season with huge emotional implications, primarily focusing on Carol and her current mindset. I truly believe that if they keep at this pace, we will have Daryl and Carol on an even field within the spinoff by the end of season 2.

Over the seasons of the main show, we got the chance to see so many layers of Carol, but since the screen time on that show had to be shared with so many other characters, we never got to go as far into Carol's mindset as we wanted to. But after watching this episode, I now know beyond a doubt that Melissa has the talent and Carol has the depth to be a brilliant leading character. She can fill an entire episode with her storyline, and there would not be a dull moment; on the contrary, during the showing, I constantly had chills because of the absolute power of Melissa's performance.

Storyline split ratio

As Norman has already said, The Book Of Carol will not be an exact 50/50 split between Daryl and Carol. There will naturally be slightly more of a focus on Carol, which I found was already so evident in Episode 1. The heavier focus on Carol was done beautifully, and like I said earlier Melissa fulfilled the role of a leading character so perfectly that I couldn't help but be a little disappointed whenever I saw that a scene had changed away from her.

Carol's mindset

Carol's mindset and emotional state had me in a chokehold this episode; I don't think there was a single scene between Carol & Ash that didn't bring me to tears or leave me with chills. As Melissa mentioned in her behind-the-scenes interview for Daryl Dixon episode 6, Carol's journey is about her mindset and how she needs to know that her friend is okay.

This theme is already heavily touched on in episode one and delivered in a way that brought me to tears repeatedly. They utilised a few vital flashbacks and some moments where we find Carol alone, going through some powerful emotional moments that opened old wounds and addressed certain things that were never fully resolved on the main show.

One of the most heartbreaking moments we see of Carol alone revolves around a song that Carol sings along with (to herself); even though the song itself has very simple lyrics, I immediately thought that it fully explains why Carol is prepared to do anything to get Daryl back.

Even before watching the episode, we knew that Carol would do anything for the ones she loves, but this current situation with Daryl truly asks more from her than anything she has ever done before. Still, there is no hesitation within her about how many lines she is willing to cross to find him again.

In all this Carol also showed some immense growth, especially in how she handled guilt and loss compared to her actions and mindset in season 10.

Daryl's change

This is mentioned in the new season's synopsis, so I no longer classify it as a spoiler. The synopsis stated that "Daryl struggles with his decision to stay in France" which appeared to be very true to me in episode 1.

I saw a colder, more aggressive, and mentally exhausted side to Daryl, which is evident in how he handles all his conversations with people from the Nest and how there seems to always be an slight undertone of resentment in his words that he is trying to hide.

Additionally, while watching season 1 of Daryl Dixon, I noticed that the longer Daryl is away from Carol, the more he regresses into his trauma. It's like all progress is being lost, and he's slowly turning back to his old ways, not standing up for himself and hiding in Merl's shadow.

Additional quick takeaways:

Ash is an angel and must be protected

Genet looked scary and really creeped me out at one point, which was really thrilling and showed the possibility of a really interesting villain for the season 2 arc

It appears that (according to Norman) we'll be getting more screen time with some of the other characters, like Sylvie and Losang

Some of the nest members' scenes evoked a sense of impending doom and eerieness, which suggests that there may be more to the Nest than meets the eye, with perhaps something sinister hiding within it.

This episode had gorgeous cinematography, which I personally liked more than season 1's, and I found that it felt richer too.

Episode 1 of TBOC is now, by far, my favourite episode from any of the spinoffs. It shows that when a show about Daryl and Carol is true to its characters, it becomes a natural success and a beautiful piece of the story.

Melissa's voice and influence are clear in how Carol's story is told in this episode. And Melissa herself seemed very proud of the work that had been done for season 2.

Norman teased one of his favourite upcoming scenes, which is of Daryl and Carol bickering like an old married couple, and Melissa teased about her favourite location where they slept and woke up surrounded by horses (I'm just imagining Norman waking up and immediately being terrified)

Melissa was absolutely glowing in person and exceeded any and every expectation that I may have had of her

Conclusion and final thoughts

If episode one is a good example on which to base my opinion, then I'd say that season 2 looks very promising, with the very likely possibility of surpassing the main series in ranking as my favourite show.

It has planted seeds to potentially resolve many of Caryl/Daryl's storylines that were left unresolved in the main series, in a way that's true to who Carol and Daryl are and how even we, as viewers, envisioned it should be.

And in Melissa's words from the panel:

"12 years of The Walking Dead, there was a lot unsaid... we picked some of the core issues and built on that"

All I gotta say to wrap this up is get excited!! The future of Caryl is looking bright!

~~~~

I have also written a full spoiler version of my thoughts, which goes into a further in-depth analysis of specific moments and their significance. However, I will post that once season 2, episode 1, is officially released in September.

[suplicyy]

"Wanna be your muse..."

Artist!Reader x Karasuno [Part 1]

Summary — He discover by chance that you love drawing him, maybe even too much...

Characters — Hinata, Kageyama, Yamaguchi, Tsukishima and Nishinoya.

— Fluff

— Gn! Reader

You've been together for a month now, and him going to your house and vice versa was starting to become a routine. That day, he was the one who went to your house to spend the afternoon.

You were in your room watching a series, when you said you were going to the bathroom and left the room, leaving him alone there. While you were gone, he watched your room, looking at some posters on the wall, books on the shelf, a notebook open on his desk... – a notebook? - he thought. You usually left your desk tidy, so it was rare to have anything "dropped" on it.

He knew it wasn't good to see your things without permission, especially when you weren't there to let him or not, but he thought about taking the notebook and putting it on the shelf with the others. So when he went towards your desk to get the notebook, he didn't expect to see some drawings of him.

Hinata Shoyo

When the boy saw that you drew him, he was SO happy. But at the same time he was also a little embarrassed, because it would never have crossed his mind that you liked drawing him.

And the moment you got back to your room, he almost had a heart attack at that time, not knowing what to say to you.

Do you remember that moment in the first episodes of the season 1, when Hinata was nervous for the match against Seijou?So...that's exactly how he was now.

He kept apologizing a million for having seen your notebook without your permission, please make sure everything is ok otherwise he will faint...

After he calmed down a little, he told you how much he loved your drawings, he thought they were so beautiful!

And after that, whenever he saw you drawing he would stop to watch you and praise anything you were drawing, even if it was just a simple sketch.

Kageyama Tobio

He was so confused.

"Why did you draw him?" "How do you draw so well?" "What do you see in him that you have so many drawings of him like that?" "Why was there a drawing of him as a prince holding you in his arms?"

There were many unanswered questions...

The first thing you saw when you returned to your room was a rosy-cheeked Kageyama staring frighteningly at your notebook.

He even tried to thank you for drawing him, or praise your drawings, but the moment the words left his mouth they were all confusing.

But somehow you understood what he was trying to say, and placed a small kiss on his cheek, which was now redder than ever.

Now whenever you draw, he takes a little peek at what you're doing, secretly wishing that he was the one you were drawing.

Tsukishima Kei

...What?

It was the only thing he could think of at the time.

He watched the drawings you made of him until you returned to the room.

You better be prepared, because Tsukishima was going to tease you about this until the end of the day...

But don't let his exterior fool you, because it may not seem like it, but he was very shy when he saw them.

What affected him the most was the way you drew him – he in person didn't look as pretty as in the drawing – that's what he thought.

So if you drew him that way was it because you saw him that way? That certainly stayed on his mind for a few days.

And from that moment on, whenever he saw you with your notebook he would ask if you were drawing him, with the aim of teasing you.

But if you answered yes, that you are really drawing him, Kei would just stay silent next to you, watching you.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

Poor guy, someone help him.

He would be totally shy about this.

Yamaguchi was always a boy who didn't feel so confident about his appearance, so when he saw the way you drew him, he was thrilled.

But after observing them a little longer, he was happy to know that you like making drawings of him. And just thinking about the work you had to do all that thinking about him, his heart warmed with affection for you.

If you sometime have an art block, he would send you several inspirations he found on Pinterest, because he knows you feel sad whenever you can't draw anything.

And no matter how many times this has happened, Tadashi will always be a little shy when he sees that you are drawing him or for him.

Nishinoya Yuu

Someone hold this boy please, because I'm sure the moment he saw you, he would throw himself at you and hug you.

And he probably won't let you go until you threaten to throw your slipper at his head.

That was certainly the best day of his life.

What do you mean the person he likes most in this world drew him?? He was delighted, to say the least.

Nishinoya would always give you crazy suggestions for you to draw, like him fighting a crocodile and with several explosions in the background.

And of course he would always show your drawings that you made of him to all his friends, telling everyone to feel jealous because he have an incredible partner who draws him so well.

A/N — I decided to separate this one into two parts, otherwise I think it would be too long and it would take longer for me to post..😭😭

— Read part 2 [here] !

[citrineghost]

I absolutely cannot get over - of all the things wrong with this season of OFMD - the abuse apologism.

Listen, hear me out, I understand that they're violent pirates. I understand they brutally murder and kill people and steal their shit and ruin lives. I get it.

The problem is, you cannot make a comedy about pirates and put a focus on the therapizing and emotional openness of the crew, making the fact that Stede showing up has them healing and talking and being emotionally more healthy as a major selling point of the show only to use that therapy-speak as a way of justifying abuse apologism.

They all hurt people, yes. The thing is, they're not supposed to hurt each other. They're supposed to be a family. The violence and abuse is supposed to be outside of the family network. They're supposed to be at home around each other, even if everyone there isn't great all the time and can sometimes be a bit toxic or unhealthy. Overall, in season 1, the message was, "We can get through this together." "Talk it through, as a crew."

Instead, season 2 dives directly into Ed committing atrocities against his own crew, giving most of them some combination of PTSD (which is clearly worse than any they've experienced before, because their personalities and ability to interact with people is completely altered), dissociation, hypervigilance, etc. Then, when they finally beat his ass and try to kill him because of the abuse, Stede fucking Bonnet shows up and is like, actually! I think you all should give him another chance!

The following episode(s) are so fucking hard to watch.

You've got people jumpy around him, terrified he's going to hurt them, all the while Stede encouraging them to just get over it and forgive him. He pushes for Ed to try to "turn poison into positivity." Basically encouraging the notion that if your abuser apologizes and then acts nice, everything should be fine and peachy.

The fact that this is bullshit is mentioned, I believe, only once, when someone noted that Edward didn't even use the words, "I'm sorry," during his apology.

This isn't just perpetuated by Stede, it's also perpetuated by Black Pete. He says to Lucius, "I feel like you're not even looking at me, you're looking through me." and then, when he sees that Lucius is drawing Ed's head on Pete's body (I guess meant to be some comedic take on traumatic fixation), he isn't sympathetic at all, he get's mad that he's not focused on him, and says something along the lines of, "You're so focused on the bad that happened to you but I haven't heard you mention once that you're alive."

This is such a heartwrenchingly common form of abuse minimization that it's nauseating to think about. This idea that, oh, you may be traumatized but actually you're not dead so who cares? Be grateful! Get over it!

And, unlike it being pointed out that Ed didn't say the words, "I'm sorry," this scene is never criticized by anyone in-show. Instead, Lucius appears very guilty and then draws a picture of Black Pete as an apology, telling him he's right.

He wasn't right. That's a fucked up thing to tell someone who was almost killed and then experienced extreme trauma following that. He made the entirety of Lucius' trauma an affront to him. Because Lucius was thinking about his trauma and not him.

Now the worst thing about all of this, to me, is that once this episode is past, it's treated as if everything is resolved. Oh haha funny, Ed walked around the ship with a cat bell on his neck for a few days so he couldn't sneak up on people! So cute and quirky!

It's fucking not! They should have thrown him onto a deserted beach and left him there. I'm not saying Ed should never be allowed to have anything good again in his life, I'm just saying it shouldn't be the crew he traumatized and abused. They don't deserve to have to live with him. They shouldn't be expected to forgive him.

Don't even talk to me about how they made a, and I quote, "Safe Space," and then Ed showed up to it. Like he had any fucking right to be there. When it was a Safe Space meant to be specifically an escape for the people he abused and traumatized. As if he, too, was a victim of him abusing them.

And on top of all of that, the fact that, as he's dying, Izzy is taking all the blame for Ed's actions as Blackbeard - another of Ed's abuse victims - and is treated as if that's the peak of his emotional development. It's not. That was where his development plummeted. He had seconds left to live and he used them to absolve his abuser of his guilt because he loves him and didn't want him to feel as bad when he died.

I was not a fan of Izzy in season 1. He was the biggest cunt on the ship, and he did encourage Ed to be a worse version of himself. But that doesn't mean his cuntiness justified him being mutilated and abused daily. We can only put so much of that on him. Ed had the power to say no. He had the power to be moderate, even. He had the power to be violent and terrible to people outside of their crew. He took Izzy's words and he ran with them - waaay further than he had any conscionable right to.

But this post isn't about season 2 Izzy. It's about abuse apologism, which I feel made up a significant portion of this season's content. And I'm just fucking furious about it.

I'm not saying shows can't have bad things in them. I'm not saying abuse apologism doesn't happen or that it doesn't have its place in media. I'm just saying, season 2 of this show wasn't a fucking comedy. The writers fucking tanked it. Everything that was good about season 1 was stripped of season 2 and everything was plunged into dark-humor tinted tragedy.

You can't base an entire show on the idea of comedically intelligent/modern therapizing language and then use that language to communicate that abusers deserve your pity and forgiveness - not to a queer audience that is probably 90% people who have been horribly abused.

[mjbarrosart]

My Dragon Prince Boards season 7, episode 705, part 1

It's time to talk about my boards for episode 705 of the last season of The Dragon Prince. I did a lot of stuff in this episode, so instead of going in order, I'll divide my work differently for this one, we will talk by group of sequences and not in order of appearance.

Let's start with the sunfire elf side of the plot. As a lot of you know, most of my work in this show was related to the Sunfire elves, and to be honest Janai and Amaya are two of my favorite characters of the show, so every chance to work with them is always a bless.

I did all the scenes of Karim talking with Amaya in this episode. It is hard to explain how I feel about Karim, he is such an idiot, but I am also kinda fond of him because I spent so many hours working on him thinking about his mannerism and motivations. I am fond of him, but I also hate him, hahahaha.

There is not a lot to say about this sequences, they are pretty straight forward. While I can understand why Karim hates humans so much, that doesn't mean he is right about it, and this hate is starting to feel like pettiness, and well fits him, he is a really petty man.

Let! Green! Say! Ass! hahahaha. Its always funny to board this kind of little jokes. I love Green and Amaya dynamics, they are such good friends, and I love how Green is always making sure that Amaya's bluntness is not coming out as "rude". But sometimes I feel he should just translate directly what Amaya is saying, because I don't think Karim deserves special considerations, haha.

That little speech Karim does about how he and Amaya are not the same was interesting to board for me. I wanted him to feel aggressive and menacing, even if his hands were tied. Like he was trying to intimidate Amaya, but she will not bend, she can see thru his BS. I wanted him to trespass into Amaya's personal space, portrait him as the bully he is. He says that his faith comes from knowledge, while the truth is that he leads using fear. Such a pathetic little man.

Another instance where is wish the rigs where able to translate between the expressions from the boards. I wanted him to spit his words trough his teeth when he says "humans are vermin, a plague", like his mouth is full of poison and hate.

But the Amaya, who is mostly motivated by making sure that Janai doesn't regrets the decision of killing her brother, does the right thing and reminds him of the fact that Miyana is pregnant, that there is a future worth to live for. Karim shows some doubts, so Amaya leaves and Miyana enters the stage.

I feel kinda bad for Miyana. I mean she deserves the punishment she got, at the end of the day she betrayed her people. But I feel bad for her, because I think that she honestly loves Karim. Imagine loving such a foolish man. And Karim can not learn a lesson, he keeps being an idiot. He is offered a second chance to be with his family, but the only thing he can see in Miyana is that she is carrying "his heir", and Miyana is right of being offended by that. But she wants to believe that he will made the right choice. And maybe for a minute Karim ponders it. I wanted him to loot vulnerable and maybe open in the final shot, so I made him kneel close to Miyana, laying his head on her belly, close to his child. We know how this will end for him, but for a moment there is maybe hope that he will change... no?

My next scene in this episode is one I am really fond of. Is the one when Terry says that the only person who can stop Claudia is her mom, and Soren is really against that idea.

First, is always fun to have a moment with Terry. I have really small ones during my work in the show, so this one was a blast. Second, I got to have another emotional Soren moment, and that is always nice, because Sores in my boy.

The back and forth of this conversation is pretty straight forward too. What was important for me was what will be the moment that will make Soren change his mind, and support the idea. So I decided to use Corvus for this.

Soren is struggling with the idea of bringing her mother back, even if that means they will have a real shot making Claudia stop. Corvus see his pain, and touch his shoulder. We talked before on how touching is a love language between this two, they don't need tons of words. Corvus is saying "I know that it's hard, but I am here with you". On my boards I had him giving Soren a little nod, they removed that for the final shot, and I think is ok. The nod is not necessary, Soren understand what Corvus means. With his support Soren can do it.

So he gathers strength and gives the drawing to Ezran. I like that in the animation stage they kept Corvus hand all the time on his shoulder. For Soren the idea of facing his mom is one full of pain and conflicted feelings, but he doesn't need to face it alone, he has Corvus at his side (as a partner, friend, soulmate, brother, whatever you see them being).

I love them so much...

The second part of this post is about the last sequence I did for this episode, it is a small one, but one that you could say... brings a "surprise"!

I will posted right away, so stay tuned!