#even if the sane one wins there WILL be horrors over the next couple of months

[lost-technology]

A thought on my mind: I apologise for not hustling butt on getting any new chapters of Survivor's Guilt out for those of you who are reading it in any kind of timely manner. I never had an update-schedule for it, anyway. It was always a pantsted, meandering "working with ideas as they come" fic - although, at this point, I have rough plans in mind for how it's going to go, up until the end. (I want to end it coinciding with the end of Trigun Stampede and upon release of Stargaze, make an entirely new sequel fic if I want to continue the storyline). I've had some hiccups between chapters. When I started it way back, I wrote out one chapter to get the basic idea out - and then I got The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom and was basically just playing that for 2 1/2 months straight (well, not straight, I ate and slept, but you know). Considering that I was grieving a very dear loved one at the time, I really threw myself into that game as a distraction from life because nothing is as good a distraction for me as video games. And then I got back onto the fic and was really chugging along for a while - until I got a much-sought after and needed part-time job. My job took some time from me. It's okay - I've actually worked out storylines for the fic in my head while working! Nowadays, well, I'm an American and our very important Presidential (and general 4 year election for Senators and Representatives) is coming up. I think that even some of you who AREN'T American are paying attention to it because "when America sneezes, the world catches a cold." It's an incredibly important / world shaking one, too, as we have the potential to either have the first Madame President in our entire history or to re-elect an increasingly unhinged, publicly demented fascist who has loyalists in place to actually create a fascist government for him at his behest. I have, so far, kept politics off this blog (my rantspace for it is my main blog), but I am deeply afraid. The U.S. has a very wonky system for selecting a President whereby they don't have to win the majority vote of the actual people, but a series of representative slates of the states and that's how the jerkface that's running for a non-consecutive second term got in in the first place. He Who Shall Not Be Named was BAD years ago (arguably responsible for hundreds of thousands of deaths due to his adminstration's purposeful mismanagement of the Covid pandemic). He's said and done things that SHOULD have gotten him shitcanned for EVER having a place in politics, but...somehow... he's around and has people (such as our Supreme Court) bending over backwards for him and I honestly wonder if he promised his firstborn son as a sacrifice to the Devil or something. Anyway, we're on the cusp of a decision that can go really right or go really wrong - and I have a lot of fears because... well... for all our supposed progress, we remain a deeply racist and sexist country and there are just some elements that have roughly half of us ready to chuck good ol' Democracy away for a potential dictatorship. And I happen to live in THE most coveted "swing state" - Where I live is said to basically decide the Presidency. (And there are people here who are already trying to pull voter-suppression shenanigans). And the advertisements and the signs and... I am losing my mind. (I've EATEN at the McDonald's that He Who Shall Not Be Named cosplayed at. I'm that close to the action).* - *in the past, not on the day, I'm not a supporter. So... too scared, too stressed to write. That's where I am right now. And who knows? The fic may wind up abandoned because I'll wind up being bare-bones survival, looking to flee my country or just jumping off a bridge or something on an impulse. Or you know, getting imprisoned for being in the wrong political party. Or shot for protesting. Anything can happen here.

[ramblings-of-a-chaotic-neutral]

Hello everyone! I'm back with another Merlin au! This one is a horror-themed au for spooky season! Enjoy!

This au is Inspired by the story of King Pedro I of Portugal and Ines de Castro (which is a heartbreaking story that deserves to have more people talking about it), and it's set in a world where Merlin and Arthur are already together in season 3. After a magic reveal gone wrong, Merlin's magic was revealed while Uther was still alive, leading to Uther ordering Merlin's execution while Arthur was away on a hunting trip. When Arthur returns, he's met with the news of Merin's death, but he refuses to believe such horrible news until he rushes into Gaius's chambers, screaming for Merlin, only to find Gaius and Gwen sobbing over Merlin's body.

Arthur is overcome by grief and, after a few hours sitting in Gaius's chambers staring at Merlin's unnaturally still form with tears streaming down his face, Arthur marches off to face his father, to make him pay for his crimes. Uther is, of course, furious over Arthur getting so worked up over a treacherous sorcerer, but Arthur fights him like a madman, fueled by grief and rage.

In the end, Arthur wins the duel, and while the shocked lords and knights watching the whole ordeal were expecting Arthur to run his father through with is blade, Arthur does something that no one expects. He uses his blade to carve open Uther's chest, cutting out his heart, saying that Uther had been so heartless as to take Arthur's love from him, this ought to be his fate.

While the lords and knights were all shocked and horrified at the display, there was little they could do besides acknowledge the prince as their new ruler. Within a couple days, Uther's funeral and Arthur's coronation were organized, but Arthur still felt numb, even as the crown was placed on his head. He could almost feel the empty consort's throne next to him, where Merlin was always supposed to be, mocking him viciously.

But then, an idea formed in Arthur's not-quite-sane-anymore mind. Merlin had always deserved to sit at his side, to be honored as any consort to a king should be. Arthur had to see this through, to ensure that Merlin received the honors that he was denied during life.

Arthur ordered the servants to, under Gaius's supervision, collect Merlin's body, dress him in royal robes, and have him carried to the throne room. There was no way to make any of this right again, no way to make Arthur feel whole once more, but there was a way to make sure that Merlin's memory and all that he meant to Arthur lived on.

When the doors to the throne room finally opened, shocked and horrified gasps rose up from the assembled court at the sight that awaited them. There, being carried in on a stone slab, lay Merlin's pale, prone body, dressed in royal finery from Arthur's own wardrobe. His colorless pallor against the rich red robes created a striking and distinctly disturbing contrast, which was only heightened by the colorful jewelry that accompanied the outfit.

Arthur imagined what a magnificent sight Merlin would have made if he were alive and yearned for such a vision with all of his heart. But the reality of the situation was as grim as the expressions of the knights carrying Merlin's body. Merlin was gone, taking Arthur heart and all of his joy with him, and all that was left for Arthur to feel was somber determination to make at least one thing right: Merlin would be honored and remembered as a king.

The crowd's shocked whispering didn't cease as the procession passed them and made its way towards the thrones, reverently placing the slab in front of the steps to the throne, but they were shocked into silence as Arthur picked up Merlin's body and cradled him gently before carrying him over to the consort's throne and placing him on it with the greatest care.

The court was silenced at the disturbing sight of a limp body sitting in the queen's throne, but horrified gasps shot up from the crowd as the king suddenly turned around to face them, his eyes bloodshot and glaring at them all.

"You, all of you, stood by and let my father do this! And now, you will show your respect to the man you had forsaken. Merlin was everything to me, and I never had any intention to rule without him by my side. Living or dead, if I am king, then so is he."

Arthur slowly made his way back to his own throne and sat down, a picture of royal power. His eyes darted over to Merlin for a second, before shifting back over the crowd. Still, was it just Arthur's desperate imagination, or was there now a slight flush in Merlin's skin that wasn't there earlier?

"Just as you all knelt before me and took an oath of fealty, you will do the same for him. You will give him all of the honor he deserved in life."

At first, the lords in attendance just looked at him in utter disbelief, but the fierce glare Arthur sent them confirmed that the king was being entirely serious. Slowly, each of the lords knelt before the consort's throne, not daring to look up at the disturbing sight before them, and recited their oaths of fealty, feeling the king's burning gaze on them all the while.

Finally, after all of the lords had taken their oaths, a pale Geoffrey presented Arthur with the consort's crown, a treasure that had not been seen by anyone since Ygraine's passing. Arthur gingerly lifted the crown and made his way over to Merlin.

As he stepped closer, Arthur wanted to weep. Perhaps it was some cruel trick his mind was playing on him, put it looked like Merlin's color had returned to him, making him appear like he was only sleeping, like he would wake up and everything would be fine again.

Taking a steadying breath to hold his tears at bay, Arthur finally stepped right in front of Merlin, holding the crown over his motionless head. It wasn't fair, Arthur decided. It wasn't fair that Arthur had finally become king, was finally in a place where he could openly profess his love for Merlin, but Merlin wasn't here by his side to see it!

Still, he could let everyone else see his love for Merlin. Slowly, he lowered the crown onto Merlin's head, letting rest on his limp head. Arthur took a shaking step back, trembling with rage and grief as he looked at Merlin, bedecked in royal robes and wearing the crown that Arthur had always longest to give him. Arthur's own mind still mocked him, making Merlin look almost alive again, like he was only sleeping, when Arthur when that Merlin was gone, and all that was left of him was this pale, empty shell and a terrible hollowness in Arthur's chest where his heart was supposed to be.

Arthur tenderly gasped Merlin's chin, tilting his head up to face him. This was goodbye, Arthur knew it. After this, Merlin would be laid to rest with all the honors of a king, and Arthur would be left ruling over his kingdom alone and heartbroken for the rest of his days. With tears flowing freely down his face, Arthur leaned down and pressed a kiss onto Merlin's lips. Once again, Arthur's mind took pity on him, as he could swear that Merlin's lips were warm with life under his own.

Arthur drew back, gazing at his love's face for what might be the last time, attempting to commit every minute detail to memory, such that Merlin's likeness would never fade from his mind even as the years went by. As Arthur eyes scanned over Merlin's face, however, there was one thing that struck him as odd before his mind caught up to what he was seeing and his heart, which had felt cold and frozen fir days, started beating at a frantic rhythm.

Because Merlin's eyes were open.

(Yes, Merlin was immortal the whole time, but his magic was just taking a while to heal him lol!)

And that's all for now! I hope you all enjoyed this au! Let me know if you'd like to see a continuation!

And, as always, thank you for reading through my ramblings! :D

[curseofaphrodite]

hcs | being married to Regulus Black would include

fem!reader | masterlist

gif source

lots of hugs and cuddles, that man is touch-starved.

for the first couple of months, he'll keep looking at the ring in your hand, as if he can't believe that not only is he in love, but he's married.

to you.

you’ll go to events together and he’ll pat a stranger on the shoulder and be like — “see that woman?” *points to you* “yup, she’s my wife.”

the stranger would look at him weirdly before walking away.

in his defense, he was extremely drunk on any sort of event, because it’s mostly pure-blood crap that he feels obligated to go to.

you may not like these events, but you’re determined to keep your husband occupied so he would stop glaring at random people from his family.

you’d talk about nothings and force him to dance with you, and he’ll do so begrudgingly.

EVERYDAY LIFE 

even after months of marriage, he's in awe of everything you do.

anytime he accidentally wakes up at night and sees you sleeping peacefully, he'll feel giddy as the first day he met you.

speaking of sleep, he's always reluctant to wake up early, because he works late + loves staying up.

this leads to many —  "Regulus let go of me please, I have to go."

"No you don’t," he'll whine and keep you as his prisoner.

not that you minded anyway.

he likes to be in charge of house decor, and he’s so obsessed with making everything ✨elegant✨

you say yes to anything he choose, mainly because you don't care. it’s not like it mattered, you were much more interested in leaving muggle stuff around the house.

REGULUS BLACK AND MUGGLE TECHNOLOGY

regulus loves and hates these.

for example, the first time you left your phone on the table, it started to ring and regulus, who was peacefully applying butter over his bread, yelped and backed away, making the jar fly away from his hands.

he looked around for you, but you had already left for work, so he did some... creative solutions.

first, he tried putting a huge bowl over the phone, but it still wouldn't stop buzzing.

then he wondered whether he should use a spell and blow it into thousand pieces, but came to the conclusion that his wife would not be so happy about that.

so like any sane person, he did the only thing he could.

when you came back, you saw regulus under the bed, sipping tea and reading newspaper with the light of a candle.

“Reg-?”

“Hello.” 

“What’s going on?” 

“The small box wouldn't stop buzzing. I’m just taking precautions because like mother says, if it makes noise for more than ten minutes, it’s probably going to explode.”

you blinked and realized your husband may need more muggle technology lessons.

but his approach to anything included assuming one particular thing — explosions.

when you first shown him a TV, he nodded and stated, “Oh, that looks like it’ll explode.”

washing machine? He had just one question — “Does that explode?”

toaster? — “Why does it explode bread?”

It’s messy to teach him, but fun all the same. 

besides, being in love with him gave you the power to stop yourself from strangling him.

you watch a lot of shows with him, and his favorite included The Queen’s Gambit and Mrs. Maisel. he preferred lighthearted ones and you loved a good horror movie like the next person, so this leads to fights over the remote.

he always wins, but he doesn’t know how to operate it so he’ll hand it back with a frown.

he soon realizes that he loves cameras, and always carries around one with him because it was one of the few things he managed to learn.

he likes taking pictures of you when you’re not looking, something you were self-conscious about. But after seeing the shots, you were convinced that your husband was born to be a photographer.

FIGHTS

you guys don’t fight much, but when you do, it’s mostly out of misunderstandings.

he’s goofy when he’s alone, but he instantly gets insecure when the marauders come over. (which was frequently.)

you have been close friends with them over the years, but they’re still warming up to Reg.

he’ll stay close to you and only talk when necessary. 

when there’s something fishy, like mentions of your ex or his brother flirting per usual, Regulus would scowl and pull you closer, a gesture that didn’t go unnoticed by anyone.

so I guess it doesn't really count as a fight because it wasn't you he was mad at.

then there’re these times when he doesn't realize he’s doing anything wrong, but actually is.

like he might get busy at work, and hardly talk to you for days, which leads to you overthinking.

Once, he only noticed something was wrong when he saw the concern in your voice as you said “I love you” before you slept, almost as if you’re afraid he won’t say it back.

“Are you okay?” He asked, sitting up and turning on the lamp.

“Of course, I’m just tired,” you whispered, smiling forcefully. He wasn't convinced. He raised an eyebrow as if to say ma’am you can’t lie.

“Fine,” you sighed, closing your eyes. “I’m just so exhausted with my own work and when I come home it’s like you’re not here. You’re obsessed with your own job and skips breakfasts, and sometimes even dinner, I just- don’t want to lose you.”

When you opened your eyes again, he was looking at you with an apologetic smile. Then he held his hand out.

That night, the two of you spent hours talking on the roof, looking at the stars and catching up on life. You may not have slept but it felt like everything was going to be fine again.

SMALL THINGS HE DOES FOR YOU

leaving notes on your mirror, mainly stuff like “you’re brighter than a 1000 stars,” — something so cheesy that you have to smile, which results in looking at the mirror to a happy, loved person, and that was what your husband had intended to do anyway.

he reads to you when you’re sick, and picks out flowers from his garden and leave them by your bedside.

knuckle kisses whenever he could, and he adores it when you give him forehead kisses. 

whenever he hugs you, he’ll sigh contently, as if you’re all he needs.

[batfamtv]

I was wondering if you can do a request with Finnick Odair and my oc/me (Hannah). You don’t have to use my name, but it’s Hannah if you do. So here’s some backstory. So Hannah’s father is a district 1 victor of the hunger games, her mother is a stylist and her father lived in the capital now due to district 1’s privileges. Hannah was born and raised in the capital, but was taunt by her parents to be anti hunger games, due to her father being in the games and seeingnn the horrors along with being traumatized by seeing them when she was 8. So her and finnick met while her mother was his stylist in the games. They became friends and caught feelings when they were 16. She was one of the only person who knew the truth about his “many lovers” and she was there to help him through it. They started dating when they were 19 and when they were 21, they were able to sneak Hannah back on the train with them into district 4. The capital tried to get her back, but since this was great publicity and stuff, they just left it because it wasn’t as important. Finnick proposed to her in the capital before the 75th games. She was kidnapped and toutured by the capital with Joanna and Peeta before being rescued by Gale and the others she was also tortured with the tracker jacke serum which made her extremely paranoid. So maybe you can do something where Hannah and finnick get reunited in district 13 after she was rescued.

i would pull you from the tide

finnick odair x f!reader

in between the screams and the pain, you see finnick.

you remember the first time you meet him: young, handsome boy with a playful smile. he didn’t like you at first, thinking you were just another spoilt capitolite, but you and your family were kind, making sure he was being cared for while he stayed at the capitol (snow’s orders) for his ‘clients’.

“hi finnick dear,” your mother had introduced you then, “this is my daughter, y/n. she’s your age and wanted to meet you.” finnick had eyed you from top to bottom, but didn’t say anything other than a stiff nod. you had remained there beside your mother, almost feeling hurt for his coldness, if not for the sympathy you felt for him when he emerged out of the arena.

you also remember the first time he had actually let you in: when you came by his capitol apartment to bring him the stew your parents made for dinner, and finnick was there, crying on the floor. you knew what snow was making him do, and your family have been trying hard to make sure the victors are safe and protected here in the capitol, but you can only do so much. finnick had stared at you then, and you expected him to yell at you, to flinch when you came closer, to shove you away when your arms wrapped around him. instead, he held onto you, and cried in your arms. “i hate it here,” he had mumbled against you, “i hate it, i hate it, i hate it!” and there was nothing for you to say but “i’m sorry” and “i’m here finnick, i won’t leave you alone.”

you saw him every year, yet with another set of tributes from his district. but finnick wasn’t cold to you anymore, instead sought you whenever he had free time, because you loved to hear stories about the ocean, and how one time he saw a huge whale breach the surface of the water, and you felt his youth glowing from him, and you had decided then and there that finnick odair deserves to be happy.

“you should come to district four sometimes, y/n,” he had told you enthusiastically, even though you both knew it was forbidden to travel between districts. the wishful thinking was enough though, as you watch him remember the ocean, and you could see the ocean itself in his eyes, “i know you’ll love it!”

nodding, you ran your hands through his hair, almost smelling the saltiness of the sea in him, “yeah,” you had smiled at him, “maybe i will.”

more of those years go by in your mind, but when you open your eyes, you are still somewhat trapped in time. shivering from the cold, sore from all the beatings, you can hear peeta’s cry from a couple of cells down. you also hear johanna’s voice, she’s calling out to you, wondering if you are still alive.

“y/n?” she asks. “are you there?”

“yes,” you croak, the sound gravelly and painful. you struggle to move closer to johanna’s cell and you can almost see her grinning face.

“good,” you hear her say, “finnick would kick my ass so hard if you died.”

absolutely exhausted and pained, you close your eyes, and more memories come.

you don’t remember exactly when your feelings for him changed, but when it did, it hit hard. you remember staring at finnick, and blushing whenever he caught you.

“were you looking at me, y/n?” one eyebrow raised, he tossed another sugar cube up in the air before catching it in his mouth.

blushing red, you shook your head vehemently, “no! why would i do that?”

he shrugged, “well, i am pretty attractive.”

he tossed another sugar cube, but failed to catch it. hearing your laugh, he turned to face you with a dramatic frown. you only shook your head, “sure you are,” before turning away (absolutely hoping he didn’t see your face burn bright red after you jokingly admitted to him that you did, after all, find him attractive).

he would always smile that teasing and boyish smile before sauntering toward you and making you even more flustered. you remember one night when it was really bad for him, limping towards his apartment because he was hurt by one of his clients, and you had fussed over him, worry etched on your face. you remember him crying against you as you held him, and him whispering to you that you kept him sane. you had fallen asleep like that, arms around finnick odair, silently hoping you could do more to protect him from this life. 

finnick odair had loved you then, maybe way before then, but he didn’t tell you yet.

and perhaps, one of the reasons why he was so reluctant to tell you, and everyone else about what he felt, was because he knew the president would set his eyes on you. and finnick didn’t like that.

you remember the smile on finnick’s face, so so bright and beautiful, when he saw you get out of the train in district four. your parents snuck you out of the capitol to surprise him, and he was both worried and exhilarated. you also remember how nice it was in his district, especially that one night when you both walked by the shore at night under the full moon, when he had kissed your lips so softly as though he was scared to break you. you remember the warmth in your chest that exploded throughout your body when you threw your arms around him and kissed him back.

when you open your eyes again, it’s another day. you’re sure that you’re awake for most of the time, when they beat you up and submerge you under the water, but you don’t remember any of it. something in your mind tells you that you may have pushed those memories away, locked them deep down and all you can remember is finnick, finnick, finnick.

one of the worst days of your life was when he was reaped for the quarter quell. your family had been contacted by plutarch heavensbee immediately after, and you remember how plutarch silently apologized to you that finnick got reaped, and you made him promise to get finnick alive.

“katniss everdeen is our priority.”

“then make him second,” you pleaded, tears threatening to leave your eyes, “please.”

plutarch had nodded grimly, and you promised to yourself that you would do anything it takes to keep finnick alive.

the night before the games, he brought you to the rooftop. you were scared, for him, for the rebellion, for everything. you were scared that everything was going to change.

“not all change is bad,” finnick reassured you as he took both of your hands in his. “for example,” he smiled cheekily, biting his lower lip, “when this is over, we can get married.”

“what?” your eyes widened at his statement. he pulled out a ring, something so simple and yet beautiful (and resembled the one you were sure you saw at a shop while in district four).

“when there are no more games,” he smiled as he slid the ring to your ring finger, “when can get married. build a cottage by the sea.”

you admired the ring on your finger, overwhelmed by the proclamation and enticed by the thought of waking up next to finnick odair in your own little seaside cottage. then you threw your arms around him, pressing your lips on his with a smile.

“this is why you need to win,” you whispered against his lips.

finnick nodded, “this is why i need to win.”

the next time you’re conscious, you can hear peeta’s screams again. you’re too tired to move, limbs too sore to use and so you just lay there. as peeta’s screams for katniss faded into the background, you hear finnick’s voice.

finnick screaming your name.

you remember watching him run aimlessly through the forest, the sound of your voice calling him. “y/n! y/n!”

katniss tried to tell him that the voices are from jabberjays, they weren’t real. but finnick was inconsolable, insisting that jabberjays copy sounds from the source.

“please, let me go!” he had yelled at katniss. “they got her, they got y/n!”

he was panicked, crying for you, and you couldn’t do anything but watch as it went on for an hour. you wanted to console him right then and there, to hold him and reassure him that you’re fine, but you weren’t able to.

you didn’t want to open your eyes, but you hear his voice again. finnick’s not screaming your name, but he is whispering it. something warm covers your hand, and you almost flinch if not for the familiarity of it. when you do open your eyes, you are met by a bright light, almost harsh, but most of all--

“finnick,” you whisper, and your voice is hoarse.

finnick exhales when he looks into your eyes and sees that you’re really here, you’re alive. he cups your hand in his, pressing kisses on it as he tries to keep his tears from falling. “y/n, how are you feeling?”

you don’t know what to tell him. confused as to where you are. tired and sore. relieved to see that he’s here in front of you. in love.

despite all of this, you can only think of one thing. the one thing you’ve always felt whenever you look into finnick odair’s eyes.

“happy.”

finnick smiles boyishly, as he look down, clearly flustered. it takes someone special to make him flustered like that, and it’s always been you.

he reaches over to plant a gentle kiss on your temple, nose, cheek, and then lips. “me too.”

[writingbakery]

“cold moonlight”

i asked the discord server what they wanted to see, & they overwhelmingly voted angst - all i can do is deliver ✨ [taglist; @sparkncharge @redbeanteax @secondhand-trash @keigos-dove @katsukisprincess @jojosmilktea @antigenius @kingtamakimurder @heroheads @yuueimagines ]

[pairing: astronaut!hawks x gn astronaut!reader]

[warnings; space travel gone wrong, debris shower, final moments, character death, heavy angst/unhappy ending]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

space is unforgiving.

twenty three days of isolated space travel has shown you that in waves; freezing, desolate darkness surrounds you at all sides. you found beauty in its cruelty, yes, but more importantly, you found suffering. the only thing keeping you sane was keigo, and even he was reaching his limits.

the pair of you were locked inside a half battered shuttle, floating aimlessly in deep space. Command had stopped answering hails days ago; rations had dried up this morning. a snapped tether was all it took for space to show you just how brutal it could be, if desired; you were certain rescue was a fantasy. the rest of your crew were probably safely entering earths atmosphere now, halfway home and far from the tendrils of the stars. you envied them.

keigo’s kept positive where you’ve gone negative, constantly countering your words - “don’t talk like that now, lil dove. we’ll be soaring through he atmosphere before you know it,” he promises every time, kissing your forehead. at first, it brought you comfort, but now, every word seems hollow, his lips cold against your skin.

he’s been clattering around the shuttle all morning, attempting to find ways to kickstart the thrusters while you drowned in the silence. it’s haunting, how desperation presents itself - an overwhelming need to move, and an inability to do anything but wallow.

there’s never been a silence you could taste before, loud and violent in all its quiet. you’re boneless, weighed down by your guilt and fears; keigo shouldn’t have even been on the shuttle. he’d accompanied you to make the repairs easier, his academy nickname - hawks, red wings inked against his spine to match - following him all the way out to space. you’d never have expected Command to assign you both to the same mission, liability in a married couple in space, and yet.

your bond hadn’t caused the debris shower to snap your tether, or batter your body against the side of the shuttle. you could barely walk, bruised all up and down your body, and keigo had torn insulation to patch your bleeding leg. your bond hadn’t isolated you from the group, or trapped you inside a barely functioning shuttle. space has done that, without care for your desperate pleas of a safe return home.

keigo knocks twice on a support beam to get your attention, pulling you from your drowning misery. he’s half suited up, hair falling in his bloodshot eyes as he holds up a few tools and tattered wire. “i figured out how to get the engines moving. it’s a long shot, and we don’t have a lot of time before the next debris storm hits, but it’s a shot,” he says earnestly, blind optimism flooding his exhausted features.

for a moment, you can’t move, too certain that you’ll die right where you sit regardless of keigo’s hopes and dreams. but his eyes plead with you in a way you’ve always been weak for, and you shakily stand.

“show me.” and he does.

the thrusters are dead, but not damaged, fuel cells not completely burnt out & by keigo’s estimations, hotwiring two sections of the cables beneath the paneling would reroute some of the power just enough to kickstart the engines and propel you close enough to earth to get the ship back into the atmosphere. he was always the expert in that, fiddling & taking apart machinery until it worked again. you’d alwags joked he was your birdbrained mguyver, ready to invent something out of a toaster & spare engine coils at a moment’s notice.

now, his knack for wiring only means one thing; he’s going out there alone.

you put up a good fight, listing all the ways you could help him, how your leg wouldn’t be a burden out there - weightlessness would make the pain of dragging the injury around nonexistent, & you knew this was at minimum a three person job. he’d be out there for two hours at least, & you had no way of knowing when the next debris storm would hit. he’d be all alone, defenseless against the horror that put you in this position in the first place, & you could barely stomach the thought.

all keigo offers you in return is a smile, soft and small and sad in a way you haven’t ever seen from him before. resignation is written all over his face, & you know he’s long accepted the fact that you’re staying in the shuttle, regardless of your protests.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

it’s been over two hours since then, & keigo’s still not back inside the shuttle.

you’re strapped into the pilots chair, frustratedly slamming the controls; no matter what wires he splits and layers out there, the connections aren’t traveling deep enough into the conduits to affect the fuel cells, & you’re starting to worry.

“maybe we should stop here, regroup. we can try again once the storm passes,” you argue into the comm for the fifth time, straining to meet keigo’s eyes through the port window. your words fall on deaf ears again, a wave of his hand confirming; he’s staying right where he is until the job is done.

the sensors start humming, so low and gentle at first that you don’t even register their warnings until its a battle cry, blaring alarms and flashing warnings that would sit behind your eyelids for years, haunting your nightmares until sleep no longer came knocking.

the debris storm was here.

slamming on the comm, you & keigo began yelling at the same time, words spilling over each other like waves; “you have to come—“ “—finally reached the conduit—“ “the storm is coming, keigo fuck the conduit—“ “start the goddamn engines!”!

you fumble with the controls, lining up the engines & restabilizing the conduits; they splutter to life slowly, kickstarted by keigo’s own genius & you laugh — both panicked and relieved. “it works, it fucking works, keigo baby you did it, now please come inside,” you plead over the comm, but your husband isn’t moving with the shuttle, & if you strain your eyes you can see him waving.

“now isn’t the time for jokes, you ass, just come inside—“ he cuts off your frightened rambling, coice just a little sad, a little wishful. “i cut my tether.”

the words ice you down to your core, and if you hadn’t been strapped down in the pilot’s chair you would have thrown yourself out the hatch on instinct.

“you cut—“

“i cut my tether. it was the only way, two of us wouldn’t make it to reentry. too heavy, & the conduits needed fresh cabling. we only had the one tether left. i always told you i’d send you home, didn’t i? that you’d get to see the sunrise again, over the ocean. you love the ocean.” his voice is a little unsteady now, & the farther the shuttle lurches away from him the more static impedes his words.

“you love the ocean too, birdbrain. that’s why we got married on the beach,” you whisper, & he laughs a little forlornly in response. “i love you more than that, though. i love you so much it hurts, & that’s why i’m keeping my promise. i’m sending you home.”

you’re running out of time; the static is all but washing out his voice, & the debris storm is rushing towards him full force. what do you say to the love of your life when you know he’s got minutes left, and you’re safe?

“i love you so much, you idiot. i love you, i love you and your stupid wing tattoos that you cried getting, and the stupid smile you get when you win at uno, and the way you always kiss me good morning, even if you want to sleep in longer. i love you, keigo takami, and im always gonna love you,” you promise, wincing as the static reaches fever pitch. you can barely hear him now, but the few words that filter through strike you hard in the heart.

“love .... pretty eyes..... don’t forget.... ocean waves... i love...” the static cuts out with the rest of his words, & you don’t realize you’re crying until your sobs echo back on the comm link, the signal lost.

he loved you, and you love him still, and even as the shuttle burns through the atmosphere, rocking you violently in the pilot’s seat, all you can think about is his smile, the way his eyes crinkled up like stars just before he left the hatch.

you barely register your impact with the ocean, moving on autopilot, just like the shuttle had; keigo must have programmed it before leaving, must’ve known you wouldn’t have the focus. you always did grieve numbly, and he knew that — looking out for you even after he was gone.

you slowly, carefully pull yourself out of the shuttle and onto the beach you’ve washed up on, sighing in guilty relief as you settle against the sand. above you, the stars twinkle and shine, just like keigo, and you smile through the fresh waves of tears. the ocean kisses your feet, and for a moment you imagine he’s there, his spirit, above and beside you in the waves and the stars.

he’d always be with you there, you think, eyes wet. you’d always have the stars and the ocean, and you’d always have keigo.

the ocean hums to your broken heart, and cradles you as you cry, the water sympthathetic.

for all the pain, however, you know. you know that somewhere up there, amongst the stars, a pair of red wings would circle the earth, & keep you safe, just like he promised.

alone, you watch the sun rise over the ocean, and smile.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[slash-em-up]

Marry Your Monsters Pt. 11

What’s that thing they say about the best laid plans?

------------------------------------------------------

Miranda was beginning to understand how Spann had gotten so far in Jesse’s business.

The woman was a terrifying marvel.

After Lisa and Miranda had agreed to do whatever they could to aid Jesse/protect Miranda/fuck up Preston’s hostile take-over plans, Spann had immediately put them to work.

The pair were barricaded in Spann’s office, pouring over every single contract and document Preston had signed or presented in the last three years.

Well, more like, Lisa was scanning the Organization’s archive and Miranda was reviewing the legal-ese.

Spann had also conjured up Miranda’s bag - and she was more than happy to change out of her shredded, sweaty, bloody dress into a pair of clean jeans and a tee-shirt. Feeling more like an actual person than she had in several hours, Miranda was fully focused on the screen before her - absorbing each tiny detail of the documents and noting anything even slightly suspicious on a notepad. She had nearly filled this one. Preston had been a very busy boy.

It also offered an emotionless peek behind the curtain of The Organization’s dealings - which was the only way Miranda felt she could process things right now. Even so, as dispassionately as it was laid out, it was still hard to read.

God, how could she have been so blind?

She’d been married to a serial-killer for over four years and she hadn’t suspected a thing. It would have been embarrassing if it wasn’t so damn sad.

Throughout their engagement and their marriage, Jesse had seemed dead-set on keeping his promise to make her the happiest woman in the world; and when he’d asked if she’d thought about having a baby she hadn’t hesitated. They’d be the perfect family.

Of course, every couple had their problems - she just hadn’t expected the gilded glow of her own to tarnish in quite the way it had.

It would have been so much easier if he’d just been having an affair.

Her train of thought was interrupted by Lisa laying a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, you doing okay? Do you need a break?”

Miranda gave the dark-haired woman a small smile. Maybe it was because they were in very similar situations; but she’d immediately taken a liking to Lisa.

“No, I think the work is helping me stay sane right now; but I’d kill for a cup of coffee.”

Miranda winced. Well, she couldn’t use that particular hyperbolic statement anymore.

Lisa grinned, giving her stomach a look, then raising an eyebrow back at the blonde.

“And would that be spiked or…”

A small chuckle escaped as Miranda looked woefully down at her pregnant belly.

“Spiked, with a side of jalapeno poppers. It’s been a hell of a day.”

Lisa laughed.

“I’ll get you some hot water and lemon. Basically the same thing, right?”

“Right.”

The other woman left, leaving Miranda to return to the contract she’d been perusing.

She was interrupted again as a loud electronic shrieking sounded out from the hall speakers.

Reflexively, her hands shot up to cover her ears until the reverberating sound of a tearful female voice echoed over the din.

‘Mom! Mom… I don’t…where I… find… PLEASE!’

Fuck, fuck, fuck…

Miranda stood, pacing as quickly as she could toward the office door before coming to an abrupt halt.

This was exactly the kind of thing that would get her killed… or captured… or whatever the fuck Preston wanted with her. Honestly it was like a badly written action movie. Female lead goes off and does something stupid - gets herself taken - hero comes in, guns blazing and saves the day.

The summer blockbuster formula almost made her gag. And she very much doubted that Jesse would be in the rescuing mood if her grand scheme ended with whoever he’d kidnapped escaping.

Miranda paced the room, biting at her thumbnail, waiting as long as she could for some kind of sign that she should take action.

A loud scream echoing down the hall clinched it.

She was about to do something very, very stupid.

-------------------------------------------------------

Jesse sincerely hoped he never had to play poker with Spann. She would win, hands down.

They both sat in Jesse’s office as Spann assisted him in the now pitifully difficult job of shaving his head.

She’d found him standing over the razor and steaming bowl - bare-faced and glaring down at them, trying to work out how he was going to be able to do this himself.

Mirrors were for people with faces… and potentially hazardous self-grooming was for people with two functioning eyes.

God he really was pathetic.

Preston’s assistants face had been blank and still as she’d asked to shave him; which was probably the only reason he hadn’t gutted her simply for walking in on him.

She hadn’t offered him pity or framed it as her ‘helping’ him.

He appreciated that.

It also gave him an opportunity to check in on what his traitorous fixer was up to.

‘It’s not the mask that’s intimidating… it’s the man behind it…’

While Jesse did actually agree with the statement, the fact that is was coming from Preston was pretty fucking hilarious.

‘Kills three people and he thinks he’s Michael Myers…’

“He’s mocking you now? He decides who lives or dies?” Spann sounded disgusted.

‘It’s time for a change in personnel, just not the one Preston wants.’ Jesse signed, tilting his head so Spann could scrape the sharp metal over his temple.

The woman didn’t pause in her careful movements; but Jesse could see the slight tilt of her lips as she absorbed his words.

“You’re making the right decision.”

She gently toweled the soap from his scalp, running her hands over it to check her work.

“This will all go smoothly.”

Jesse stood from the chair, towering over the small woman who’d just earned her place at his right hand.

‘Take care of it; but leave Preston to me.’

Spann smiled.

“Yes, sir.”

Stepping over to his computer, Jesse took great joy in telling Preston he was out - Spann leaning just barely out of the camera’s eyeline to appreciate the look of shock and horror on Preston’s face before he casually flicked his camera off.

If the pair had been paying a little closer attention to their other screen, they just might have seen a shape move awkwardly out from behind a coffin and make their way slowly closer to Jessica and Tommy.

-------------------------------------------------------

This was a bad idea, this was a bad idea, this was a bad idea…

Miranda could have slapped herself for being so impulsive. What the hell was she thinking? Even on her best days she was far from sneaky, and it was even harder to slink around when you couldn’t see the floor to avoid tripping hazards.

She bent down as low as she could to hide behind an open casket lid while she waited for Preston to finish talking to a half-naked girl.

Miranda winced in sympathy as Preston got close to the poor kid. She looked terrified, and with good reason.

The boy Preston had dragged in looked like he was down for the count too.

She wished she’d taken a moment to grab Jesse’s knife from the office - the damn thing was the definition of ‘style over substance’; but it would have been better than nothing.

Thankfully, she was close enough to hear everything Preston was saying.

He really was that much of a prick, huh?

A surprising surge of protective anger flooded through her as she listened to Preston go off about Jesse.

‘Hey, that’s my fucking serial-killer you’re talking about, asshole!’

Miranda groaned silently.

She’d deal with that particular bullshit after the girl was safely out of here… And then she’d deal with the other flavors of bullshit this whole mess had turned up, not the least of which was protecting her serial-killer from the OTHER serial-killer who was staging the murderer’s equivalent of the Russian Revolution.

“This is gonna be over quick, alright? See one way or another, one of us is going to slice you.”

Preston smashed the boys head into the concrete floor before hoisting him up and walking him over to a large bank of computer screens.

Miranda shifted slightly as Preston spoke casually into the still air.

“Hey boss, you ah, you recognize this kid? He was with the girl in Ashville?”

Oh fuck, that’s why he looked so familiar.

He was the boy from the store. He’d been there when Jesse was trying to kill the prostitute.

She had to get them out. There wasn’t any question in her mind.

A sharp beeping from the largest screen brought Miranda’s attention back to the scene. A familiar silhouette filled it, and what Jesse wrote next was… surprising.

YOUR POSTION AT

THE ORGANIZATION IS

NO LONGER REQUIRED.

Then the screen went black.

Preston stood, frozen, staring at the blank monitor for a few seconds as the two captives sat tearfully at his feet.

When he did move, Preston bent down, muttering something to the pair too low for Miranda to hear, before stepping out of sight.

Miranda made her move.

As slowly and quietly as possible, she slipped out from behind the casket lid.

The sneakers she’d replaced her sandals with made the barest of squeaking noises as she tip-toed over to the bound pair.

It would be a lie to say the comical widening of the boy’s eyes wasn’t a little funny - but she supposed it was fair to say he probably wasn’t expecting an enormously pregnant woman with bruises and a bandaged arm to come to their rescue.

If she’d heard correctly, the girl was legally blind… or almost… so she wasn’t surprised that she was a little slower on the uptick than her fellow captive.

But when the girl did notice Miranda had to jolt forward to cover the girls mouth as she inhaled sharply. She couldn’t risk too much noise, and she offered the girl an apologetic look when she finally lowered her hand.

“Sorry.” Miranda whispered.

“What the fuck?!”

Tommy scooted back on his ass to get a better look at her.

“Jesus, lady what are you doing here?!”

Miranda frowned.

“None of your fucking business. Just know I’m here to help. I’m gonna get you out.”

The girl looked up at her with watery eyes.

“I’m Jess.”

That nearly made Miranda snort. Of course she was. Hopefully Jessica would be less trouble for her than Jesse.

“I’m Tommy.”

“And her name is Miranda.”

A voice from behind caused all three of them to freeze, Jess and Tommy looking fearfully over Miranda’s shoulder.

Fuck. She knew this would happen.

“Hello Preston.”

Miranda stood, turning slowly to face the man in black; making sure to keep the kids behind her.

“Did you come back to clean out your office? I heard you got the shaft. Too bad.”

Preston smiled, showing all his teeth as his hands formed into fists.

“Ah yeah, Jesse gave me my walking papers. But what in the world are you doing down here?”

Miranda circled as Preston did, making sure he always stayed in her direct line of sight.

“Me? Oh, you know, bored housewife. Emphasis on the bored. Thought I’d take a little stroll.”

Casually, Preston pulled a familiar bladed tool from his belt, making Miranda’s heart beat faster.

“Well, I’m so glad we could run into each other like this. Pretty fortuitous.”

“…Oh?”

“Mmhmm… see, I think this is gonna go one of two ways. Either your hubby is going to come down here to the rescue - at which point I’ll cut his ugly face off again - and make it stick. OR he won’t, and I’ll carve the fucking baby out of you and let Jesse deal with the clean-up. Either way, it’s time for a little payback.”

As soon as the words left his mouth, Preston charged.

Miranda screamed, uncaring if the whole facility heard her, and ran.

She moved as quickly as she could back towards the hallway, nearly grasping the handle before Preston was on her.

His arms wrapped tightly around her chest as they rammed into the metal, making her yelp in pain and wrap her hands protectively around her stomach as she writhed in his grip, trying everything she could to break free.

Her foot collided with his knee, causing him to hiss out a curse and momentarily loosen his grip.

Miranda shifted, trying to use her weight to unbalance him; but it was too late.

One hand wrapped unforgivingly into her hair and Preston slammed her head into the metal door once, twice, three times until Miranda’s vision began to fade and her muscles relaxed.

The last thing she saw before everything went black was the steady red blinking of a security camera.

[rumowrites]

Those damn pushups

Since my brain apparently isn't wired correctly and @beautifulterriblequeen is humouring my weird antics instead of shutting them down: have some mini Tinkaan trashfic in honour of the S3 trailer

There is a tiny bit of mild sexual content in the last part so skip after the ~~~ if you don't feel comfortable with that^^

~

Rayla was feeling miserable. The whole morning she'd been doing what Runaan called “warmup exercises” with him. Naturally, her uncle wasn't even breaking a sweat while she could feel muscles burning that she didn't even know existed. “Runaaaaan" she whined, forcing herself to do one last pushup before collapsing. “Can we please take a break?”

Next to her, the older elf stopped what must have been his twentieth repetition and sat back on the balls of his feet, arms braced on his knees. “It seems I overestimated your constitution little one. We will have to work on that.” Why did that suspiciously sound like more pushups?

Just as she wanted to object, a familiar figure appeared in the doorway to their house, two cups of water in his hands. “Do you have to be so hard on her?” Tinker asked with a fond smile as he handed each of them a cup.

“I'm not hard, just realistic.” Runaan argued but still accepted the water. “She's twelve. You can't possibly think she could take up the same training you've been doing for years.” Rayla watched the exchange with growing interest as Runaan narrowed his eyes. “Says the only one here not exercising regularly. Training is important.”

“Okay" Tinker crossed his arms with a smirk “It's on. We're doing pushups. If I win, she gets to take it slow. If you win I will keep my thoughts to myself.” Runaan blinked at him a couple of times before holding his hand out with a predatory grin. “It's a bet.”

They appointed Rayla to count in an even pace and both got on the ground next to each other. “Ready?” she asked, and at a nod from both, she started.

“one hundred and twenty, one hundred and twenty one" slowly, Runaan's form began to crumble. At one hundred and forty, his arms were shaking until he finally collapsed as soon as she'd counted one hundred and seventy four. Next to him Tinker was also visibly at the end of his strength but he managed another thirty before sitting back in the grass with a huff. “I-Impossible" Runaan wheezed out, still laying on his back where he collapsed. “Never challenge a smith to an upper body strength test my Moonshine.” Tink laughed, gently patting the others thigh.

“I – hgnh - I want a rematch.” The assassin declared pointing one of his still shaking arms in the direction of his husband. “Of course love, but not today.”

The following weeks, Rayla watched both in horror and in awe as her uncle rapidly upped his usual training routine. He didn't solely stick to pushups though as she might have expected but varied several full body exercises. To “keep the muscle groups from dysbalancing" he'd told her when asked.

All of the recruits were secretly terrified because Runaan was now adamant of using every available minute to train and thus always chose one of them to spar during their lessons. Needless to say the victim usually left with a bit more than a bruised pride.

Their diet at home changed from whatever either of her uncles felt like that day to a plan of lean meats and vegetables. Rayla started to wish she'd never complained that day.

It went on for three months. At some point Rayla was sure either of them would loose their nerves. Runaan because she’d seen him collapse just short of two hundred one too many times and Tinker because all sweets were banned from the house and he usually needed his daily dose of chocolate to stay sane. But it never happened. The smith even seemed to help Runaan rather than work against him.

About three and a half months after the incident, they finally declared it was time for a rematch. Both of them did so scarily well that Rayla suddenly feared for every elf that dared to come between them.

Tinker managed a number of two hundred and twenty seven before giving up which Runaan only barley topped with two hundred and forty two. Glad that this issue finally seemed settled, Rayla decided to visit a couple of friends and leave her uncles to sort out whatever had been going on.

She had just rounded the house as Tinker's laughter sounded through the clearing. At least they weren't fighting, she concluded and vanished in the woods.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tinker stood next to Runaan who was still laying in the grass, a cocky grin plastered across his flushed face. He looked adorable. With a smile, he held out a hand to help him up only to find himself being pulled down the instant their hands locked. He laughed and caught himself on both forearms to not crush the shorter elf beneath him. Runaan smirked before he forcefully flipped them over so he was straddling the smith instead.

Tinker was so used to being the physically stronger one that he couldn't suppress the sharp yelp of surprise at the sudden turn of events. His husband’s eyes darted around the clearing once, making sure Rayla was way out of view before shedding his shirt in one swift movement and bending down for a kiss. He chuckled at Tinkers wide eyes and flexed a bit, leaning back to help him out of his shirt, too. “Like what you see, love?”

The smith could only nod, hands trailing down the other's arm before they were pinned above his head. “Good because I won't let you go anywhere.” The deep predatory growl sent shivers down his spine, relishing Runaan's possessive side.

“I should beat you more often if that is the outcome.” He commented, trailing his hands down his husband’s abdominal muscles that were a bit more defined than he was used to. Tinker could feel them flex under his fingers only to be faced with Runaan's grin as he looked up.

“Gladly.”

[ladylb]

University Style - Marichat May 2019 by Lady_LB Chapter 9

Covers the Prompts: Rooftop Save & Balconies

Adrien was in trouble and he knew it.

Especially since Marinette was quickly ejected from their class this morning after her loud outburst after she had read the article that he may have just said too much about their relationship together.

I really do want to date her. Adrien thought wistfully, technically I’ve already married her, online that is, but I really wouldn’t mind making it real.

It hadn’t helped that Nathalie had come and literally took him out of class just as it was ending so that he could speak to his father, his manager and the PR director for the company. In a way, it was good news. While the article read more into his relationship with Marinette than was true, it described the way that he wanted it to be and that actually was good exposure somehow.

Trouble is, between putting out the publicity fires that had started and getting informed by his team about the next steps etc, Adrien had missed the whole day at school.

The really bad news was he hadn’t been able to get a quiet moment to speak to Marinette or call her and while she hadn’t been mentioned in the article by name, he knew she was recognized during class so they had a very limited amount of time to discuss what ‘we’ meant.

Adrien took a deep breath as he entered his apartment that evening, changing out of his Adrien look into the comfortable guise of Andrew as he checked his messages.

First, he started with the messages for Adrien, since he actually had two phone lines but there were only three messages that mattered on that line from his closest friends.

“Adrien, Adrien, Adrien. The response to this article was ridiculous, utterly ridiculous! They must have taken something out of context because, well, because! Call me when you’ve started to think like a sane person!”

Chloe was always so inspiring.

Alya was just scary. “Agreste! You are in SOoooo much trouble mister! Call me before I have to hunt you down!”

At least Nino was calm and Adrien didn’t have to hold his phone away from his ear during any part of it to hear it. “Dude, Mari is confused, upset and I’m officially warning you that you had better be hiding until the gurls calm down! I’ll try to distract my gurl, but no promises Bro!”

Adrien was surprised that he hadn’t received a message from Marinette.

Then he checked his messages for Andrew and as usual, there weren’t many. But there were only three messages.

“Andrew, Hi. I’m sorry I missed you this morning, our teacher has no heart and I’m sorry I reacted that way and got kicked out and missed you. I kind of knew something like that might happen if I was seen with your cousin, I just didn’t think that I’d be practically going out with him all of a sudden, not that he’s a bad guy, it’s just I’m still a little confused about” – Beep

“It’s Marinette again, and as I was saying, I’m confused about why they think that. I mean, I like your cousin, oh my gosh do not tell Adrien that or I’ll never live it down! Ugh! What I mean is, he ah, has started to grow on me? But I’m still a little mad at him. He can be so cocky and infuriating sometimes, but he can be sweet too. Pfft! And then there’s you! How can I forget you? Adrien must have said SOMETHING to have mislead the press like that” – Beep

“Me again, I’m sorry, I’m probably filling up your voicemail. I’m not ready to talk to Adrien, it’s just, ugh, I wanted to apologize and talk to you sometime in person… there is a reason why I kind of used to have a rule about not dating models. I-I would like to talk to you about it sometime and tell you about it if you let me. Give me a call, if you want to, um, yeah, well, bye.” -Beep

I really should apologize to her in person. Adrien thought, but it sounds like she’s not ready to meet the real me exactly… or at least not all of me.

Adrien walked out to his balcony as he pondered the situation and saw the figure of a woman sitting on the apex of the sorority’s roof.

I’d recognize that figure anywhere he thought wryly, I guess now is as good of a time as any to go and see her, strange she’s so calm. She doesn’t seem upset. Maybe she’s calmed down?

…

Adrien had changed his look back into Andrew, having had to become Adrien to be allowed back at his father’s headquarters during all of their meetings today. Then he had climbed Marinette’s fire escape to get to her meager balcony and then from there climb up onto the roof just like she had probably done.

I still can’t believe they want me to do a public announcement about my relationship with Marinette. Andrew sighed as he gazed at the beauty before him, and I can’t believe that I only have two days to win the heart of my beloved, but she’s not ready to see Adrien yet.

Adrien, as Andrew, looked up at Marinette, she was leaning back and looking up at the sky and the moon as if it had all the answers. Kissed by the moonlight, she looked like she had just descended from heaven.

Well, here goes…

“May I join you?” He calmly called out.

Marinette startled and yelped as she lost her grip and tumbled down the roof.

Andrew was able to brace himself and catch her before they both fell off, as they both caught their breath as he chuckled and told her as he held her close, “I knew you’d fall for me.”

Having not seen who he was, she twisted in his arms and smacked his shoulder lightly, “Cha-!” She exclaimed but then her eyes widened, then she bit her lip, which was just SO, so tantalizing… but not yet Agreste!

Which was when her heard her apologize as she brushed off his shoulder, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize how much you sound like your cousin Andrew!”

Andrew chuckled, “actually, it’s a reasonable mistake. Can we ah, go sit on your balcony to talk? I mean, I don’t mind cat-ching you,” Andrew quickly brushed the back of his neck nervously, “I just don’t want to risk you getting hurt Marinette.”

“Well, I don’t mind being caught.” She smirked lightly at him and Andrew almost lost his balance again. He hadn’t taken the time to change his pants or his shoes from being Adrien and they were not meant for rooftop climbing.

She giggled as they slowly stood up, “come on Andrew, let’s get down from here. I can make us some cocoa.”

Adrien nodded and followed her as she climbed down to her balcony.

…

Ten minutes later they were standing on her fire escape / balcony.

“Marinette, there’s something important that I need to talk you about.” Andrew told her nervously.

She glanced at him from the side, “yeah, me too. Can I go first please? I actually have two things to talk to you about.”

Andrew nodded and waved his hand, “ladies first.”

“Thanks. Well,” she sighed and looked out over the campus or at least what they could see from their position anyway, “I know I said that I don’t date models, and well, I guess after agreeing to go out with Adrien I’ve kind of decided to not follow that rule anymore, I just, well, I hope I don’t come to regret it.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, you see, I made that rule because I’m a closet nerd and fell in love with a guy that I had never met in person online a few years ago. Eventually we even got married in the game, if you can believe that.”

“Actually, I can.” He whispered, but she didn’t seem to hear him.

���Sir Noir he, well, he was someone special and I, I loved him so much.” She swallowed, “I found out that he was a model because he sent me a photo of him and a couple other models, that wasn’t released until like a week after I got it.”

Andrew nodded as he followed along to the familiar story, a small grin on his face as he listened intently. “I sent him one of me with a bunch of my girlfriends, but soon after that, he had less time online. He had mentioned that he had a tough job, as a teenager mind you and it just kept getting worse. He had all these horror stories about working late, sore feet and muscles from standing still for so long, the exhaustion and the extreme and limited diet! I couldn’t believe it. It literally hurt to hear what he was going through and I didn’t understand, not really and well, I took too long to tell him how to contact me and eventually he just… disappeared.” Then she sniffed.

Andrew noticed that a she had shed a tear, for him! He swallowed and wrapped his arms around her brushing her tear away with his thumb, “Oh, Mari… I…”

She sniffed, “shush!” She patted his arm to make her point, “I’m not done and if I don’t say it now, I don’t know how I’ll ever bring it up again.”

He nodded.

“O-okay, well, my heart was broken and I just broke more as the months passed. My last message to him was to ask him to meet me in the game so I could give him my real-life phone number, just like he wanted, but after three months, well, it was time for me to accept that I needed to move on. So, I went through all the stages of grief, and once I hit the acceptance and anger part, well, I wrote off models because it hurt to see what they went through, especially since I couldn’t be there for him.” She sniffed and he hugged her close.

“Anyhow, I’m sorry about taking that out on you, and kind of Chat Noir.” He could practically feel her roll her eyes, “but I’m not ready to talk to him about it.”

“Oh? He ah,” he cleared his throat, “Chat mentioned that he wanted to talk to you, did he do something wrong?”

“Well, he did seem to make the press think that we were about to be engaged.”

“Oh, yeah.” Andrew exhaled, “I really don’t know how to explain how that happened.”

How can I begin to tell her that I’m Sir Noir, Chat Noir and Adrien? Andrew wondered.

Marinette nodded, “Actually, that is the second thing that I need to talk about.”

She leaned back and looked into his meadow green eyes, “your eyes, they’re practically the same as Adrien’s, do you know that?”

Andrew swallowed, “yeah? It must be the family resemblance?”

Marinette smirked a little, “I guess. Well, I need to be honest here Andrew, when I first met you, it was like a lightning strike, I found myself attracted to your sweet disposition and your humor if you can believe that,” he chuckled, “and your kindness. That hour you spent helping me move in at such a crazy time was so, well, you.” She blushed and he grinned at her as she quietly admitted, “I was already attracted to you after so little time.”

Andrew gave her a squeeze and a nod, requesting that she continue.

“Then you had to leave and I start unpacking and find that photo that Sir Noir, my online husband from so long ago, sent me, well, after I wind up having to save your cousin’s Kitty hide from his admirers.”

Andrew chuckled as he interjected, “I know that he appreciated that.”

“I know, but as I was saying,” Marinette’s voice sped up as she began to ramble, “there were only three guys in that photo and one was a guy with the last name of Agreste, and now that I think of it, he, he looked like you and well, Adrien too. I’ve only heard about Adrien as a model before to be honest. Plus, after all this time that I spent with Adrien, I don’t know what to think. I think that I might like him too and it’s so confusing, I don’t even know…” she paused, not knowing how to go on.

Andrew smiled gently with a wide grin, “you like me, and you like Adrien too?”

Marinette blushed as she gave him a small nod as she cupped Andrew’s face. “I feel… so conflicted. I don’t know which guy I like or even if one of you is the guy that I’ve already given my heart too.”

Marinette seemed to steel herself, “Andrew, I’m sorry but I really need to ask you this, because I really need to know, but are… are you my Sir Noir?”

end chapter.... the earlier chapters can be found at the link below

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18716623/chapters/44391187

[whitewolfbumble]

The Fallout - Part Seven (Bucky x Reader)

Summary: You had been a ghost for years, taking down the bad guys from the shadows that had once enslaved you. That is until the Avengers finally caught up with you and yet again your life changed. But your past won’t stay dead and everything starts to shift when a familiar face joins the ranks: Bucky Barnes. He may not remember you, but you certainly remember him.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Slow burn, language, claustrophobic-ness, 

Word Count: About 5k

A/N: And down we go! Some more bits of You/Bucky origin info here. Please let me know what you think lovelies!!

MY MASTERLIST // THE FALLOUT MASTERLIST // PART SIX

The tunnel was intensely musty, completely pitch black, and uneven in all respects. And running top speed through it was a fucking challenge here. You might not be as “super” of a super soldier as the two men you were running towards, but after your years with Hydra you doubted you would pass a drug test.

But you still weren’t a bat. And navigating this blind was disorientating. You did have a small disk-shaped light strapped to your shoulder to somewhat guide you, but with your speed and the sweat in your eyes, it was not enough to spare you a lot of cuts and bruises. Coupled with the fact that you were going so fast and jostling so much, you basically saw what was in front of you only as you were running passed it.

Dodging under a low beam, you raced forward, eyes only half on the terrain and mostly on spotting any traps laid out for you. This one went right to the base so it would be stupid not to set something.

Unless they wanted you there.

You grunted, bring your knees up swiftly towards your chest for a moment as you jumped, trying not to fall as the floor suddenly dropped down a couple feet. You landed- not gracefully by any stretch- without breaking anything though, so win.

Suddenly you skidded roughly to a stop, one leg low in front of you and one bent, hands on the ground bracing yourself. Up ahead there was light. You checked your tracker and saw you were almost there, just another small stretch after a sharp turn. That was what you were seeing ahead of you now.

Okay, get your head in the game here.

Far too slowly for your liking, you walked forward, eyes darting over every inch of the murky, dusty space. It gave you time to calm your panting breath down somewhat.

As you reached the sharp turn you crouched low and looked cautiously around the corner, just the slimmest sliver of your profile visible around the corner. If anyone was there, they would be expecting someone to appear at a normal height, not so far down. It would give them pause before shooting.

But the space was empty. Just another dirty, dusty hallway. So you kept walking, small machine gun out and ready to fire.

You walked like this for some time, heading deeper and deeper until you were at the end of the tunnel and at the base proper. Stopping by the large metal door leading to an empty foyer type room, you pulled up the schematics you had of this base before putting a hand up to the door.

Patchy at best, it looked like you were on the top of two levels, the bottom being much larger than the top. You took in a steady breath, gun ready with your finger just a hair above the trigger. You slowly opened the door and began your mission.

Steve and Bucky had probably made quick work of this floor, set up and looking like an abandoned office out of the eighties. Nothing was out of place in the oddly empty space: no bullet holes or shells from Bucky’s gun, no slashes in the wall from Steve’s shield. And no bodies or blood. Just dingy floor tiles, off-white peeling walls, and the distinct smell of stale neglect.

Your search of this floor was thorough and as quick as you could make it. No traps to your knowledge, and if you had to escape the same way you came in, you knew the best route to do it fast.

A grimy stairwell with railing and steps slick with moisture lead you down to the next level. This one was quite different. The upper level would have been just mundane offices at some point, but the level below was where the experiments happened.

This base had been used largely for imprisonment and human experimentation. You had been here before and from what you remembered, it wasn’t pretty. You didn’t dwell on that much. It wouldn’t help here, as you only had one memory of one room.

Barred cells lined some hallways, others were lined with thick metal doors, their white-painted exteriors a wet and dingy grey-brown with rusted reddy-brown walls that matched the dried old blood on the tables and chairs within. Age had rotted this place, long forgotten and out of use.

The more hallways you slunk down silently, peering into cells with a laser focus, the more you felt your anxiety creeping up on you. And for you on a mission? That was not typical.

This isn’t right.

You couldn’t place what was out of place in all of this. So you kept moving, as silent as the still air around you.

Eventually after some minutes moving through this base like a ghost, you got to the last room in the whole base. It was the furnace room, a large and a complicated mess of pipes and big towering tanks. Again, nothing there. Just that terrifying sound that silence had when it closed in on you.

You had stopped in your tracks by the far wall behind one of those metal tanks to try and collect your thoughts.

This isn’t right.

Okay, no signs anywhere that Steve and Bucky had even entered this base. You knew they had though, as they had said as much before the comms went out. Everyone got into their respective base.

So what the hell? Had they left after their comms went out? But that didn’t sit right with you. They would’ve signaled somehow, figuring you would dig your way through to the base in a heartbeat after not hearing from them.

This isn’t right.

You had no facts, no visuals, no way of figuring out what happened. All you had was a feeling.

So since that was all you had, that was what you focused on.

Yes, this was a creeping fucking place and the silence was all but comforting, but you had been through dank dangerous places before. It was second nature to you and you knew that you shouldn’t be feeling this way. You had too much practice in these kinds of places.

THIS ISN’T RIGHT.

So what’s wrong with it? The emptiness? The cells? The tables with dead blood crusted onto the straps that once held those poor souls down?…

“Shit,” your voice echoed suddenly and loudly in the dank, dark room. "Fuck!"

No, no, no, no, no, no!

You ran top speed, not caring to be quiet or careful anymore, traps or lurking enemies be damned. You took off as fast as your legs could take back towards a hallway lined with those big metal doors. The ones where countless people were held and tortured, like you had been at one time.

You looked in the first cell, then the second, then again down the whole hallway. Running through to the next section, you did the same, quickly taking in the haunted rooms.

And every room you looked in confirmed what was wrong.

Every room may have had a different setup, layout, door, or purpose, but every room in the whole complex was painted the same colour. A red rusty brown.

You swallowed hard and worked to pull up that single memory you had of Vier Gliedmaßen. You had actually dreamt of it not that long ago, that nightmare being the worst of them.

It was the one that featured Bucky, standing in front of you in a concrete-lined cell, with a small barred door the only way out. On the other side of that door were eyes watching, notes scribbled on their notepads as you screamed for help. Not for them to help you exactly, but for Bucky too. Though he never did.

He was hurting you, holding you there while you screamed to be let go, to go back home. But you also didn’t want to leave the cell. You didn’t want to face them again. Impossibly they were far worse than Bucky was.

You didn’t know his real name then, just called him Soldier like they did. Calling Bucky the fake name he had given you always made him hurt you more. You figured he probably killed the man whose name he stole.

You eventually made a name for all of them, the soldiers that came to hurt you again and again. But it wasn’t them- the soldiers- that did it; it was Hydra. They were the ones you hated. They were the ones who did this. And you would rather stay in that cell with the soldiers than face the horrors that they did to you in the name of experimentation. Or the horrors that they made you inflict on others.

The cell they held you in was wet, dank, and concrete. It was painted green, making your bruised, bloodied, and beaten skin look sickly, and Bucky look like some monster, with shadows dancing terrifyingly across his face.

But not a rusted red-brown.

Your memories, however compartmentalized to stay sane, were intact.

They rarely wiped your mind, needing your…creativity in the field, along with the ominous threats and repercussions over the years to have the needed weight. They just pumped you full of something to set you loose, or keep you docile, or keep you in agony and begging them for some relief before it started all over again. Day after day. Decade after decade.

You remembered them calling this place “Vier Gliedmaßen”, the name sticking to your mind as you heard it a few times through the years, conjuring up visions of that cell and that terror. You remembered the overwhelming dirt smell. The dank water pooling on the floor under your bare feet. There was no light beyond the artificial light that patchily lit everything.

You knew the base must be underground, so naturally it had to be this one. Right?

You mentally ran through the other bases and their descriptions from the team. The mountainside base was huge and airy, big enough to easily fit the Hulk, with every room broad, no cells at all, just large rooms of weapons and air support vehicles.

The tech base was one floor, no lower level at all, made of glass and steel. It was half underground but half above. The whole base, start to finish had windows on the upper half of the rooms. They could have updated it? But unlikely. Tech development was never held in the same spot as experimentation as they were resolute to keep it under strict lock and key. You had never been in a tech base while under Hydra’s influence. They wouldn’t have had you or anyone like you near a base like that.

The last base was the one you had been to with Steve and Bucky originally, and nothing there rung a bell at all. It was all above ground, besides the power generator in the basement.

Unless that wasn’t the last base.

Again, you took off running.

“To anyone who can hear, there is another undiscovered base," you said, stomach dropping more with every step. "Repeat, there is another base we didn’t know about.”

You took the stairs three at a time, running up to the top floor as soon as possible. You needed to figure this out fast.

Shit, shit, shit, shit!

“Bucky, Steve… I’ll find you," you practically shouted into the comm. "I will fucking find you. And good luck to anyone listening in that gets in my fucking way!”

If Hydra had captured them and were listening in, they would know you were on your way now.

Good.

You wanted them to know you were coming. You would kill the lot of them before they realized, and you wanted them to know it was you that sliced them open. And if they so much as touched Steve or Bucky it would be so much worse.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., ” you snapped, barely registering the blur of the base as you ran through it. "Tell me you’re still here,

A little light lit up on the wristband. “Here for you, Y/N.”

“Tell me you know where the team is.”

“No, Y/N.”

“Fine,” you breathed heavy, running down to a corridor that held the most exits into the tunnels. “Tell me you at least can still see their vitals."

Your small screen lit up, but the blinking green lights were gone, just grey blinking circles where they had once been. “I can’t seem to find them, Y/N. They’ve vanished.”

“Even Tony?”

“I can’t connect with him.”

“Okay, shit,” you said, boots screeching loudly to a halt as you reached your destination. “The maps of the tunnels, I still have them?”

A map of the tunnels appeared on your wristband. “If there was a base, somewhere in a similar size to the four different Vier Gliedmaßen, where are possibilities within the tunnels?”

“There are four hundred and sixty-four possibilities.”

You took a furious breath in through your nose before strapping your gun back to your thigh holster in favour of unsheathing a knife from the back of your belt. You began turning it and playing with it absently, focusing your frantic energy as best you could.

“Okay, next question, what tunnel leads down the farthest into the ground, that has a dead end?”

“There is one," Finally some decent news. "And an entrance to it is down this hallway, third door to your left, and is the second exit on your left.”

You bolted immediately, kicking in the door, a terribly loud clang echoing everywhere.

“Chances that something base sized could be under it?”

“It’s definitely possible, Y/N.” But not guaranteed.

You reached the door, adrenalin begging you to keep up the pace but you stopped for a moment. Pulling up the map, it did not look like a fun ride. Some sections were almost a straight drop down and incredibly narrow.

“Y/N, I will lose contact with you partially down the tunnel. It’s too deep for me to reach you.”

“Understood,” you said tersely. Fuck Tony and his tech right now. Your heart briefly constricted as you made a promise that you, he, and everyone else on the Team would live for you to tell him that in person.

Then down into the black again you went, praying your hunch was right.

_______

Three kilometres in you hit a first narrow patch. The tunnel had been on a steady decline but it suddenly angled down, the walls getting incredibly close together. It was completely black besides the little shoulder light that bumped and moved with you, causing your focus to be hard to keep. The air itself was dead, stale and it felt like you were breathing in not oxygen but exclusively dust and dirt. Your lungs felt heavy with the weight of it, making this all the more unbearably stifling.

Squeezing through and letting gravity do its part, you let your body fall through, only slight bracing yourself with your hands and feet against the walls. Rock and more dust flew at you, entering your airways and pelleting your face. You wanted speed over safety here though so you kept it up.

Depending on who specifically had taken Steve and Bucky, Hydra could do a lot of damage in the time since you heard from them. The cuts and scraps that riddled you would be nothing compared to that, so you refused to stop.

You hit bottom only making it a few more feet on the rocky ground before you reached another steep decline. This was far more narrow.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

No response.

You would have to be the sole judge on if you fit through. But honestly, this was the only option. In your mind, despite the incredibly huge possibility this was wrong, to you this was somehow the only way to save them.

Tony had mapped out tunnel after tunnel, but this one wasn’t on the radar. It led nowhere, and they were only looking for exits or tunnels leading to the bases at the time.

In the black, you mentally braced yourself for this.

It would not do much with the tunnel walls so close to your body to get claustrophobic now. You didn’t think of the unknown shrinking space below you or the untold tons of dirt and rock above your head.

Far deeper than six feet under, you thought before shutting that down and focusing.

You got into the best position you could to try and see down through the narrow passageway angling down below you. It looks like it was narrowest at the opening, only a few metres until it opened up, if only slightly.

This better be fucking stable enough.

You shimmied yourself into the opening and began your descent further into the darkness. Struggle was an understatement. You felt the walls pushing your breath back into your mouth, feeling the unrelenting pressure of the dirt covering you on every single inch of skin. You could only move your hands and feet, while your legs and torso were pressed flush against the wall, like toothpaste in the tube.

As your hips hit hard against the narrow passage, you tried to force yourself through with your severely limited movement.

With your fucking weapons strapped to your legs and body, this was not going to work. You contorted yourself to try and get a hand down to your hips. Your fingers fumbled in the darkness for a minute before you heard a small click. Your weapons belt that hung loosely around your hips was free.

But the guns at your thighs were in the way and would have to go too.

I better get these back.

You forced your hand painfully down your body, fingers only barely able to touch the clip of your gun holster. You tried and tried to force it down further but it wouldn’t budge.

This wasn’t going to be the end. You were going to do this, find them, and get out a different way. You only had to get through this tunnel.

After minutes your nail hit the clip in the right spot, loosening the holster immediately. After moving your hand over to the other thigh, you managed to get the other one undone in half the time. It hung in place, but loose. With the guns on your side able to move, you have the space to squirm your hips through. As you shimmied further, rocks and roots cutting into your sides, your now loose weapons and straps moved up as you moved down. They clung around your neck and chest as you moved, unable to get past your shoulders.

Feeling with your feet braced on the wall on the way down, you felt the cavern open up, the walls widening, leaving you dangling above an unknown length of space.

Your breathing was contracted by heat and dirt and effort, and you tried to think it through. If there was a large opening or cavern below you, it wouldn’t be that big. You hadn’t seen anything on the map. So again you continued, jaw set painfully hard in determination.

The sound of crumbling dirt and stone was your first clue that this was going to happen fast.

Suddenly the feeling of being constricted finally ended, and immediately relief turned into overwhelming nausea as your body in a split second was falling fast through a wider tunnel.

Quickly you picked up speed, body slamming and bumping and scraping against the sides like this was one big slip-and-slide tube.

As you slid down feet first, you were tossed and slammed against the sides of this slide. Your light was like a strobe light in the dark, being turned on and off, illuminating the sudden curving jutting walls that you couldn’t avoid. The sudden flashes were disorienting and adding to the chaos until the edge of a rock hit your shoulder, liquid warmth erupting as the light broke against your shoulder and neck. In the darkness you tumbled further, not praying you would survive, but praying that this wasn’t the only way out once you hit bottom.

You held your hands and feet out against the wall, trying to brace yourself, groaning with the effort. You had on your fingerless gloves but that was not enough for the sharp stones to shred your fingers on the way down. At some point, the momentum threw you against a dirt barrier before tumbling further.

What felt like years later you finally hit the bottom, skidding to a stop with a hard, dazing knock to your head against the rough, flat ground.

Blinking silent and slow you looked around, trying to take in your surroundings and instinctively scoping for enemies. You tried to get your breathing under control but from either the effort or pain of almost free-falling, it was hard. You stayed low, breathing hard, hand reaching to the gun at your side that was no longer there with bloodied fingers.

Shit.

You were now in a perpendicular large tunnel declining slightly down towards a dimly glowing light source. This hallway was rounded and completely made of dirt and support beams, with tiny lights periodically placed on the walls. Compared to where you just were, this was deliciously open.

So first things first, that was your way out. Secondly, you had literally no weapons on you anymore. Between unhinging some and fall on the way down, they were gone with no sign of them anywhere.

You had the option to either turn left, up the tunnel to what you figured was an exit out, where you could catch your breath, find your team members, or stock up on weapons. Or you could turn right, down deeper into the supposed base where you had assumed Bucky and Steve were, weaponless and bleeding.

If you left now, you were sure there would be no time. You weren’t sure if it was already too late now. The tunnel could go on for kilometres for all you knew. Nothing about this had any degree of certainty to it at all.

So you chose to save your friends.

Quietly you set off down the side of the tunnel wall, weaponless and alone.

_______

This was it. The smell, the look, the feeling… It hadn’t changed in all these years. Wet, green, and dirty concrete lined everything. Large dark metal doors lead the way to room after room, dingy and empty.

You swallowed down where this mentally took you. The past was coming flooding back in the worst way. You had gone in “mission-mode” after leaving the jet, focusing on your actions and not everything that this was bringing back. You tried to keep that focus.

Until you found it.

Silently you peered out around a corner as you silently exhaled. Six Hydra agents, clad in black, standing still and quiet against the wall in the shadows.

You quelled the flash of panic as you realized what this really was. What this really meant.

You were here, in a Hydra base, who knows how far underground, no backup, no one knowing where you were, and no weapons besides your bloody hands to speak of.

All you knew was that they had designed this plan all for you.

This was all to get you here. They wanted you back, and it was like you were running into their fucking arms.

You could wait alone and tied up for thirteen men to kill you in the comfort of the Tower, sure. But walking back into Hydra’s doors was not what you wanted. You hadn’t fully considered what this meant until now.

If they caught you, they would never let you go.

You would be their plaything for the rest of your unending life: frozen until they needed you, drugged until you complied, tortured until you broke. At the end, you had come up with a way to block them for triggering you, but they could wipe you and start again, couldn’t they? Start all over from scratch?

You would be exactly what you were all over again, what they made you. The Siren. The unhinged torturer for Hydra, insane and unstoppable. You would do again everything you had done- torture, kill, drive people mad, ruin countless innocent lives and whole governments.

I’d be their Siren again, you thought with eyes wide and holding your breath.

And there would be nothing that you could do to stop it if they caught you.

You pressed your back flush against the wall as hard as you could, trying to ground yourself in what this actually was about.

This wasn’t about you.

Because if you didn’t keep going, it wouldn’t be you but Bucky falling back in their hands. It wouldn't be you turning into the Siren but Bucky turning into the Winter Soldier instead.

You would’ve failed him. Like you had all of those years. You remembered the question he kept asking you when you first met and how you had failed him then too.

So the choice was run back to Hydra or sacrifice Bucky to them.

Immediately the hair on the back of your neck rose, a shudder running through you. That would never happen while you still had breath to fight. You would never let them take him back.

On that courage of that thought you stood, silently stepping around the corner towards those men.

________

PART EIGHT

________

If you liked this part please let me know somehow! A like or reblog or recommending it or a message! I’d love to know that you’re out there reading this! Thanks loves!

Tags: @seninjakitey @thetimidsarcasticcat @dontpanc @hawkspriing @kanekibooty @elizabeth-rose771 @methefandompanda @bookluver01

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #470

“how can you choose to let the blind see better than you?”

What was the main character called in the last film you watched? Dewey. What would you name your pet snake if you had one? It would depend on its appearance. The snake I have now is named Venus because of her coloration. Do you like peanuts? Only if they're covered in chocolate or in granola bars in small portions. Have you ever gambled? What was your biggest loss/win? No. What was the last movie you watched? Who did you watch it with? Girt and I watched School of Rock together. What do you eat for breakfast? Excluding the rare occasions my mom cooks something, usually cereal or a sandwich. Do you have a Flickr? I do, but it's abandoned. Anything exciting happening in the month of September? No. When was the last time you had an ice cream sandwich? Oh man, it's been too long. I really want one now. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yeah. What was the last thing to scare you? "Scare" is a strong word, but I was very, very nervous to hear what weight I'd gained since my last doctor's appointment. Do you like mustard? Yeah, I do. Do you have a desktop computer or laptop? A laptop. Do you like to play Jenga? I guess? I don't really have an opinion on it. Do you like Fresca? Not very, but I'll drink it if I really want a soda and it's the only option. How many towels do you use after a shower? Just one. Would you ever flash a cop if you knew you'd get out of a ticket? Um, no thank you. What is your favorite thrill ride ever? I don't like those. I'm afraid of puking or fainting. Biggest irrational fear? Truly irrational, probably whale sharks. Favorite movie sequel? Hm. If you had endless funds, where would you buy most of your clothes? Cloak and Rebel's Market. How many jobs have you had? Three, technically. What is your favorite thing to do in your city? Oh hun, fun doesn't exist here. This place sucks. Have you ever gone strawberry picking? Ha ha, yes... but I was a little kid that absolutely gorged on the strawberries instead of putting them in my basket. The person that worked there didn't make my mom pay for what I did or anything, but they made a joke about weighing me to check the damage I did, ha ha. My face was COVERED in strawberry juice. I wish I could actually remember the occasion, but I was too young. How many times have you seen a doctor this month? It feels like a lot. >_< I had to get blood drawn for two different things on separate appointments, I had a follow-up appointment with my primary physician about my weight, I recently spoke to my therapist and psychiatrist... Could you pull off orange hair? I've actually considered like, a light creamsicle orange. I actually edited a photo of me with my current hair style trying different colors, and that tint looked pretty cute. Do you shave your legs? It sounds dumb, but yes, now that I'm in a relationship. I feel obligated to at least try and be attractive by societal standards. I know it seriously doesn't matter, but I would be so inexplicably mortified if he saw my unshaven legs kalsdj;flkasdjwe What type of weather is your favorite? Snowy! Coolest place you've ever been? Disney World, probs. Do you like corn on the cob? Yeah, man. Have you ever waited tables? No. Build your favorite pizza. Soft pan crust, your average amount of sauce and a good amount of cheese with various meats on it. What did you last get fancy for? I wouldn't say I got like, super fancy, but I wore a nice shirt and a necklace when Girt came over for the first time as a couple. I thought we were actually leaving the house to go out to dinner, but the plan was actually to have Buffalo Wild Wings delivered. It was totally fine by me, I'd just misunderstood. Dream pet? A female Brazilian Black tarantula named Black Betty. :') Do you tend to get clingy in relationships? I know I do. What is the last horror movie you watched? It's sad that I don't know. :( Would you be grossed out if your best friend mooned you? No, I'd just be extremely confused lmao. What is the last thing that you drank? Milk. Currently popular song that you can't stand? I have zero idea what songs are popular right now. What is the weather like right now? Too fuckin' hot to be mid-September. Do you have favorite type/brand of pen? I mean, I like the feel of gel pens. I don't know about brands. What is your go-to snack at the convenience store? Some form of Reese's. Popular drink that you dislike? Coffee shocks the most people. What TV show are you waiting on to return/create a new season? None. What is something you currently want but cannot afford? Oh, dear. -_- Do you have sensitive skin? Very. How many toilets are in your house? Two. Do you have an older sister? Three that I know, one that I don't really count because I know nothing about her and have never spoken to her. What color is your mum’s car? White. Do you live in an apartment? No. Cats are usually cuter than dogs right? Kittens are generally cuter than puppies, imo. Where do you keep your kitty litter box? It has to stay in my bedroom, which I hate. Mom insists on in being in here so I don't forget to clean it. My memory is awful, but I'm preeeetty sure I'd remember to give my cat a clean place to use the bathroom if it was kept in the spare room by the door... Are you rude to little children? No; even if I don't really like kids, that is something I definitely avoid. Kids should never lose their hope in or love for humanity, and I would absolutely hate to be one of those people that makes the human race appear unpleasant. Are you a lighter complexion than your father? BY FAR. He's a mailman so is out in the sun nearly every day, so he's pretty damn dark to be Caucasian. I wouldn't be surprised if by his complexion he's ever been mistaken for being Hispanic, because the color definitely fits. Do you like apricots? No. Are banana chips delicious? Ew, that sounds gross. Do you like kinky sex? I wouldn't know, my dude. I've never really explored outside of pretty vanilla stuff. What is one thing you will never do again? Rely solely on another person for happiness. Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? Twice as happy. That's not even a competition. What would your parents be surprised to learn about you? I very legitimately wonder if I would be disowned for how fucked up some of the shit I write is, ha ha. Mom would probably cry if she saw some of even the milder stuff and force the topic to come up in therapy. If you could have been a child prodigy what would you have wanted to be skilled at? Maybe painting? If earth could only have one condiment for the rest of time, what would you pick to keep around? Hmmm... I suppose ketchup. Do you think it’s important to stay up to date with the news? I think it is, but I don't. .-. What is the best present you could ever receive? An all-expenses-paid trip to South Africa to visit and tour with the Kalahari Meerkat Project to meet and photograph the meerkats. :''''''''''') Would you give up one of your fingers if it meant you’d have free WiFi wherever you go, for the rest of your life? Nah. That's what data is for, lol. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A new car for Mom. Giant house in a subdivision or tiny house somewhere with a view? Oh, that is SO easy. Give me the view. Well wait, HOW tiny is the house? My answer would change if it was one of those truly mini houses that would make me feel claustrophobic as shit. What was your favorite Disney movie as a kid? The Lion King. Still is. Do you brush your teeth in the bathroom, or do you get bored & roam around? I roam around. Does your city/town have a little festival/carnival every year? Yes. I never really pay attention tho 'cuz I never go. Have you ever been to an apple orchard? No, but I would love to go. Were there any cartoons your parents didn’t let you watch as a kid? Except "adult" cartoons obviously, no. Could you handle motherhood? No fucking way. Being entirely serious, I think I'd either end up dead or horribly depressed, and the kid psychologically damaged to some extent from having an unstable mother. Like do not get me wrong, I'd try very hard, but I know I couldn't stay sane and happy as a mom. Have you ever touched a squirrel? No. What's better, candles or incense? Incense. What movie did you see the most in theaters? I don't watch movies in theaters twice. It's expensive to go even once. Who played the best Batman? Idk. I didn't watch all the movies. Who’s the best American Idol thus far? *shrug* What’s likely to happen next in your family - wedding, funeral, or birth? Uh, I suppose a wedding? None seem likely any time soon. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Hot. Have you ever taken part in a threesome? No, not my jam. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yep. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? Tarzan came to mind very quickly. What’s your favorite scene from the movie Titanic? Idk, I've only seen it once. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? ... I don't even know what that means. :x Have you ever been snipe hunting? I will never in my life hunt in any way, shape, or form. Do you try to be politically correct? For the most part, but I do believe it's gone too far. Generally though, I try to conform to the "rules" to avoid offending someone. What’s your favorite kind of sea critter? Bottlenose dolphins, various types of whales, sea turtles... I don't think I could pick one. Have you ever tasted locally-made honey before? Does it count if it's from a honeysuckle flower? Do you like to wear toe socks? No, they're mad uncomfortable imo. Have you ever worn bright red lipstick? Yes. Do you think raccoons are adorable, like I do? BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

[dollswow]

Confession

A story from Tsuuli’s pov, at the beginning of his travels. 

Characters: Tsuuli (Zandalari troll paladin), Jaalzek (Tsuuli’s older brother) & Xandarien (blood elf demon hunter, Jaalzek’s boyfriend)

Story: ~2700 words, set several weeks after Tsuuli & Lyrinde meet. Set an indeterminant amount of time before events of shadowlands start.

*

Tsuuli set his pack down just inside the doorway as his brother strode in, looking around. “It’s not bad!” Jaalzek proclaimed, gesturing around the small, but tidy inn room. 

Tsuuli sighed, and shut the door. “You are used to the accommodations in this city, brother?”

Jaalzek shot him a glance, then turned to sit on the bed. “I know, Orgrimmar is nothing like Dazar’alor.” He looked up again and shrugged. “It is not so bad, but it helps to have friends, then you do not miss the comforts of home so much.”

Tsuuli frowned in thought, and set to pulling necessities from his pack. “Xan lives here, no? Quite a difference between having friends, and having a lover to keep you from being homesick.”

Jaalzek laughed, and threw a pillow from the bed at his little brother. “It does help, yes! But Xandarien does not live here. We also are renting some rooms, until we decide where to go next, now that the war is over.”

“Many things to consider, now the war is over.”

“Yes indeed! Such as, will you be returning to Zandalar, after you are done traveling? And why are you traveling alone? What happened to, umm, what was her name? The hunter?”

Tsuuli grimaced at the reminder, and Jaalzek laughed at the face he made.  “Jaal, I thought I told you, we only went out together once, but it did not work out.”

Jaalzek stared at him like he expected more detail, but sat back with a sigh when he realized Tsuuli was not going to explain. The truth was, Tsuuli had gone on exactly three dates with the hunter Onala, a pretty Farraki, until it became clear she was painfully boring. She was pleasant enough, but seemed to have no ambitions beyond getting through the campaign she was on, and settling down to a married life with children and her companion animals. 

Not that Tsuuli wouldn’t mind being married at some time in the future, or start a family even, but he liked a woman with more fight in her. Someone he could adventure with, and fight alongside. Someone who could kick his ass, if they were to fight each other. 

Someone like the feisty elf he’d met up in the mountains of Zuldazar…

“Tsuuli! Are you listening to me?”

“Absolutely not,” Tsuuli replied automatically. He couldn’t help but laugh at the exasperated look on his brother’s face, even as he realized he must have missed something important. Or rather, something Jaalzek thought was important. “What were you saying?”

Jaalzek sighed and raised his eyes and hands, as if praying to the loa for patience. It was a gesture with which Tsuuli was well acquainted. “I was saying, little brother, that Xan and I know a woman, a mage…”

Uh oh, Tsuuli knew where this was going. His brother loved to try and set him up with various women he knew. It was nice, in a way, that his brother tried to look out for him, but he’d never been able to articulate exactly what he liked in a partner, in a way Jaalzek could understand. 

He privately thought it was because Jaalzek did not care for women, that made him such a bad matchmaker. Xandarien might be better at it than his brother, but Tsuuli had his doubts. 

Jaalzek was really getting into his description of the mage, taking Tsuuli’s silence as encouragement. 

He would have to tell him. 

His shoulders sagged. 

“—we can all have dinner together so you will not feel awkward—“

“I met a woman,” Tsuuli interrupted, voice a little too loud for the small room. 

Jaalzek sat back, looking surprised, before he burst forth with a flurry of questions. “You did? When? Where? Is she going on your trip with you? Will she be here in Orgrimmar? What is she like?”

“She is a demon hunter.”

“I thought you said you didn’t care for demon hunters?”

“I did—“

“You didn’t like their ‘Prissy faces and snobby attitudes.’”

“Yes, but—“

“And you always say you like tall women, not ‘Those puny elf girls.’”

“Well you see—“

“I am getting a lot of mixed signals here, Tsuuli. Is it someone Xandarien knows?”

“Well I did not ask—“

“Though I think they all know each other, it is a bit like a cult—“

“She is Kaldorei.”

“...”

“...”

“Tsuuli.”

“Yes, brother?”

Jaalzek stood and left the room. He didn’t slam the door though, so Tsuuli counted that as a win. He went to the bed and smoothed out the wrinkles in the blanket from where Jaal had been sitting, fluffed and replaced the pillow that’d been thrown at him, and stretched out for a short nap. 

He knew his brother, and he knew he’d be back soon. Might as well get some rest before the confrontation. 

*

A single, cursory knock was all Tsuuli got as a warning when Jaalzek returned. His abrupt arrival was softened somewhat by Xandarien following him into the room with a friendly, “Good to see you again, Tsuuli,” immediately continued with, “...well, not literally.”

Tsuuli couldn’t help but chuckle at that, and the wry grin on Xan’s face meant he was better at diplomacy than one would usually expect of a demon hunter. Jaalzek was occasionally pompous and could be overbearing, but Xandarien seemed to be more than capable of handling him. Tsuuli spared a thought for how the two made a good couple, and he was glad his brother found such a bond in the middle of the upheaval of war. Even if he was being a bit of an ass at the moment, standing in the corner, silently waiting for Xan to shut the door.

Once it closed with a soft click, he began to nag, though it was tempered by his hushed tone. “Tsuuli, you cannot consort with a member of the Alliance! Our people have only just joined the Horde. The Kaldorei are one of their biggest ancestral enemies, not to mention our own—”

“How did you meet?” Xandarien’s gravelly voice cut in. “Was it after the armistice?”

“Yes,” Tsuuli replied, ignoring his brother’s sputtering. “She crashed in the mountains, on her way to her departure point out of Zandalar.” He looked at his brother directly. “She had been assisting a team with packing up a base in Nazmir for evacuation, but her mount was injured and in her emergency landing, she ended up finding the grotto. Our grotto.”

Xandarien leaned back, his mouth forming an “O” in realization. He turned to Jaalzek. “You haven’t even taken me there!” he accused. “I’d forgotten, but you told me about it when you were courting me.” He said the last with a smirk, and Tsuuli was reminded of how much he did actually like the man.

Jaalzek was unmoved though. “She told you all of this? Freely?”

“Will it make you happy if I told you she tried to kill me when she first saw me?”

“No,” Jaalzek replied.

“Yes!” Xandarien laughed. “That explains his attachment,” he said to Jaalzek. Perhaps Xandarien wouldn’t be a bad matchmaker after all, were Tsuuli to need such a service.

Tsuuli arranged his pillow behind his lower back and leaned against the wall before speaking again. “She was relaxing in the pool when I walked up, and startled her.” His eyes glazed over at the memory of an angry, naked, and dripping wet elf charging him with glaives out. “She is...quite athletic.”

He must have had a stupid look on his face, because Xandarien guffawed as Jaalzek scowled.

“What’s her name?” Xandarien asked suddenly.

“Lyrinde.”

The demon hunter tilted his head to the side, thinking for a moment, then gasped. “Oh!” He turned to Jaalzek, “I know her, she is exactly Tsuuli’s type. I think you can relax, Jaal.” He ran a hand over Jaalzek’s bicep in a soothing manner. “She’s fierce and unrelenting, of course,” he said with a proud, feral grin, “but one of the most sane of our kind. She does not suffer from her demon as much as many others have.”

Jaalzek stared at his lover for a moment before turning back to his brother. “Exactly how much time have you spent with this Lyrinde?”

Tsuuli didn’t think his brother was ready for full details of what happened when they met, and would have to adjust his story accordingly. “Weeeeelll, after I startled her out of the water and she threatened me,” Jaalzek groaned as if he just realized what that meant about her state of dress, “we spoke for a few minutes to establish that we were not in fact going to fight to the death—”

“You had to bubble, didn’t you?” Xandarien cut in, gleefully.

Tsuuli sighed at the term, but answered, “Yes, I used my Divine Shield. As a precaution.”

Xandarien’s laughing was disruptful, but Tsuuli continued his tale, “After we came to an agreement not to engage in combat, well,” he peered at his brother, “we...occupied ourselves.” He could see Jaalzek’s expression slowly turning to horror. “For several hours.”

Xandarien had to move to a small stool in the corner to sit, overcome with laughter as he was.

*

Later, when they were having dinner in the Wyvern’s Tail, a more remote and quiet inn, Jaalzek finally seemed to regain the fortitude to ask, “So after you and the demon hunter—” He swallowed and started again. “Did you talk after—” He groaned and took a swig of ale.

Tsuuli took mercy on him and replied, “She was reluctant to talk at first, but I think she found me charming.” He grinned at Xandarien, who had been nodding.

“She’s all action, not much talk, that one,” he added for Jaalzek’s benefit. “But, from what I remember, Lyr was not the type to want to stick around afterwards. I know she broke a few hearts during our time at the Temple.”

Tsuuli shrugged, “It took some finesse, but I convinced her to talk to me more, and that is how I learned of her predicament.”

“You mean, you annoyed her into talking to you,” Jaalzek deadpanned.

“If you say so, brother.”

Tsuuli was perturbed that yes, that’s exactly what it meant, but he would not give his brother the satisfaction of knowing it. Besides, he preferred to think of it as persistence. 

“You say you learned this of her, and perhaps she was not being deceitful, but the fact still remains that she is...” he looked around, then dropped his voice to a whisper, “Will you even see her again? Perhaps it was a one-time fling, and you must now move on.”

Tsuuli picked up his mug and drank deeply before answering his brother. Truth be told, he’d feared such an outcome, and Xandarien’s comments made his stomach squirm at the thought of being another broken heart left in Lyrinde’s wake.

He would find out soon enough, he supposed.

“We have written to each other,” he said slowly. “I am meeting her in Dalaran in a week’s time.”

That was the plan, at least. Her letters tended to be shorter than his to her, but he put that down to her less than fluent grasp of Zandali, her very basic writing skills in the language, and probably her strange spectral vision, fel-tinted as it was. It had been about seven weeks of correspondence since they met at the grotto, averaging at a little more than one letter a week. She’d only agreed to the Dalaran scheme three weeks ago, though he’d invited her to meet with him there before they parted ways in Zuldazar.

Xandarien gasped, as Jaal blurted, “What?!”

*

Tsuuli trudged back to his inn after dinner, a little dejected. He could understand his brother’s concerns and doubts, he could. And while he was still positive about the upcoming meeting, and that it would actually happen, Jaalzek’s doomsaying put a damper on the buoyant mood he’d been harboring ever since Lyrinde had accepted his invitation.

In his distraction, he very nearly kicked the tiny vulpera steward attempting to get his attention as he made his way through the inn’s busy common room. “Excuse me!” he yelled over the commotion. “Tsuuli of Dazar’alor? That’s your name, correct?”

Tsuuli looked down into the pointed, furred face, and saw he was waving an envelope at him. “Mail has arrived for you!”

He couldn’t help a fluttering feeling of hope in his chest as he reached down to take the letter, murmuring his thanks. The vulpera trotted off through the crowd on other business with a hasty, “You’re welcome, please enjoy your stay!”

Tsuuli recognized the careful direction written on the outer folds of the envelope and hurried up to his rooms, waiting to break the seal—blue wax imprinted with a stylized crane—until he was completely alone, a true feat of strength in his current state.

Once the door was shut and bolted behind him, he grabbed the paring knife he’d used on a tough-skinned desert fruit earlier, and carefully pried up the seal, keeping it intact as he’d done with all of the previous letters. They traveled with him in a small golden lockbox at the bottom of his pack, one of his most prized possessions.

This letter felt a little thicker than usual, though peering inside it seemed to contain only one sheet of parchment. He pulled it out, realizing there was something packed within the paper. As he unfolded it, a fresh scent of foliage wafted out, brief but invigorating. It smelled of elven magic, like the woodlands of Ashenvale, which he visited once on a short trip to acquaint him and other Zandalari troops with Horde operations.

Two items slipped from within the note, into his lap, but before he could examine them, the brief words scrawled on the paper caught his eye.

I hope this finds you, before we meet. I will look changed, and did not like to surprise too much.

Care,

L

Much shorter than her usual letters, though with the same stilting verbiage, he smiled at the note all the same. Her Zandali was rather impressive, for a member of the Alliance, and her writing was always improving. They could communicate more easily, perhaps, in Common, but she had always made an effort to speak Zandali with him, and once confessed in a letter that she was trying to improve. Having learned the basics earlier on in the war campaign from the vaunted Alliance Spymaster Shaw, she claimed using Tsuuli’s native language with him was helping her more than her lessons ever had.

Shaking off his memories, he looked down to his lap where the items had fallen out. The first was a leaf, pressed and dried, but not brittle. It seemed to be in the midst of turning, but to a shade of evening, rather than autumn. He held it between his palms and, not for the first time, thanked the loa that they’d led him to visit the grotto that one day, after over a year of being away, on the one day he might have met her.

Setting it aside to be put into the lockbox, he picked up what he at first had thought was a chain, but was in fact— 

“Oh!” he couldn’t help but exclaim out loud.

It was a long, thin braid of shimmering white hair, bound at the ends with silken thread.

Smooth and sleek, fine strands as silky as he remembered them, he caressed the lock gently, curling it into a circle, uncoiling it again to marvel at the gift, then finally when he’d had his fill, finding a coin purse to empty out and stow the precious strands in, tucking them in an inner pocket of his vest, close to his heart.

He would find a more suitable pouch later, perhaps in Orgrimmar’s shops, or in Dalaran’s famous trade district itself, once he arrived in the floating city. For now, he felt more at ease than he had since confessing his secret to Jaalzek, and thought he might get a decent night’s sleep after all.

[bittersweetmigraine]

I hate liars. (chapter 3)

Author’s note: I know it’s been a while but IT’S FINALLY HERE. I’m so sorry I’ve had to put my personal life first this past month and had to put IHL on the back burner but hopefully, I should be able to put out content on a more regular basis once I get used to my workload. Hope this won’t disappoint. Enjoy~<3

Genre: mafia!AU, very graphic imagery, mention of rape (if you’re not comfortable with any of those themes, please do not read) // female mc

Word count: 5984 - I got carried away...

Summary: You never really knew how your father got involved in a gang but you knew what he did for a living, for the most part. When a rival gang comes to get what they’re due and your father refuses, everything turns to horror.

chapter one • chapter two

The next morning, you woke up to an empty room. You turned around, looking over at Hyunggyu's side of the bed. The covers were bunched up next to you and you could clearly see the imprint of his body in the mattress. He slept right next to you. But he didn't try anything. At least not after what he had pulled last night. And for some reason, it made you relax a little. In your mind, it was clear he was some sort of sociopath but maybe he wasn't as much of an excuse for a human being as you thought. You sat up in bed, still staring at his imprint on the mattress. In your mind, you imagined him, facing away from you, respecting the little bit of boundary you deserved. And as your mind wavered, going to a place where you didn't absolutely hate him, going to a state of mind where he wasn't the devil incarnate, you had to slap yourself back to reason. This was the same man who shot your father, left him for dead and then tried to rape you, all in the span of a single day. He might have some good moments, he might not be satan 24/7 but he sure as hell wasn't worthy of your wavering heart. He was garbage. An absolute excuse for a human being. And although he'll probably try to change the way you think of him, you'll need to remember your mother's words. "Choose the right allies. Fool the right people." Although they weren't hers, to begin with, you chose to believe those words of wisdom came from your mom. And if in your situation, that's what it took to stay sane, you'll gladly fool yourself into believing your mother actually talked to you while you were asleep. 

Your eyes wandered down the bed, following every line in the satin sheets to the bench at the foot of the bed. It was a small padded bench that went along with the simplistic theme of the room. Your eyes landed on the long rectangular black box, patiently waiting for you. You made your way over to it and took the extremity of the velvet ribbon into your hands. The velvet was soft and felt expensive under your fingertips. You played with the ribbon until it loosened and you put it aside. Tentatively, you opened the box to reveal a massive amount of white silk paper. You pushed it aside and there, in the box, laid a magnificent satin red dress. With a memo on top. 

"We're both invited to the mayor's ball tonight. I get to show off my fiancée while you socialize with the top 1% of Seoul socialites. Be ready by 7 pm. I'll see you tonight."

You put the note aside, your attention going back to the silk red gown. Hyunggyu surely didn't spare any expense. You took the dress out of the box and studied it for a moment. It looked so expensive, you felt like you were in the wrong by simply touching it. Reading the note again, you sighed heavily. This was your life now. Spending your days locked in this gilded prison and your nights hanging by Hyunggyu's arms as he showed you off. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. In this game you're about to play, you either win, or you die. Hyunggyu might have brought you down, but there was no way in hell you were going to let him win that easily.

You put the red gown down and started undressing. As you stayed there, in only your panties, you swiftly turned around, now very conscious of the door that could be open by basically anyone at any point. You weren't sure of a lot of things about your situation but one thing was for sure: for the time being, you were considered a prisoner here. And prisoners aren't allowed any privacy. You turned back towards the dress and swiftly but cautiously put it on. The satin slid right down your hips, the fabric hugging your every curve. The gown fit you like a glove and for a second you wondered whether Hyunggyu secretly took your body measurements while you were sleeping. The fleeting thought left as you heard a knock on the door. You turned around, startled as you saw a tall figure slip in through the door, not waiting for you to invite them in. Then again who were you to believe you had the privilege of inviting anyone in here. You saw a mess of blond hair close the door as he turned around and you recognized Daniel. As soon as he laid his eyes on you, it was like he was starstruck. He couldn't help but stare, his eyes wandering your body, tracing your every curve, wondering how the satin of your dress would feel bunched up in his hands as he cornered you against a wall. But as his eyes made their way back up your body to land on your face, he was met with an expression he wasn't expecting. It was almost like you were mad. Were you? You were. When you realized the man standing in front of you was Daniel, mixed emotions flowed through your body. For some reason, you felt safe and at peace whenever he was around. But he was also the person who promised to keep you safe before leaving you with the big bad wolf himself. He promised he'd keep you safe and you'd almost gotten raped. Was that how he was planning to keep you safe? Was that how he was planning to get you out of here? As those questions ran wild in your mind, he made his way to you, stopping about a meter away from you. His eyes did not leave your face for an instant, studying your expression, every tiny muscle twitch. "You look absolutely stunning." You acted like you didn't care but your heart was saying otherwise. You could feel it beating faster and faster in your chest as Daniel grew closer and as sweet words escaped his plump lips. You tried to keep your composure to the best of your ability and answered coldly. "What are you doing here?" Daniel seemed slightly hurt you'd suddenly be so cold, not exactly knowing what was wrong but feeling something must have happened. You wanted him to understand. You wanted him to get how terrified you had been the night before when he left you to fend for yourself. In only a couple of hours, you had put so much trust in him, in a complete stranger, and you wanted him to know the time of trusting him blindly was over. If he was determined to actually help you, he'd have to prove it. For a second you feared you might be cutting off ties with the only person who might be willing to help you but as the feeling of Hyunggyu's hands ghosted over your body, you realized you'd rather be alone than fighting alongside somebody you couldn't fully put your trust in. As you thought back to the night before, your hands protectively went to your sides, trying to chase away the feeling left behind by Hyunggyu. And Daniel instantly caught the slight change in your attitude. He saw the way you slightly furrowed your brows as you clutched your dress but he didn't dare ask about it. He knew what kind of man Hyunggyu could be. He was the kind of man to take care of his own people. He might be a little hard to get at first, but as long as you don't cross him, he has your back. But with women, he tended to be a completely different man. From a loyalty-driven guy, he transformed into this dog who went after anything that moved. And even though Daniel could swear he saw a glimpse of a twinkle in Hyunggyu's eyes when he looked at you, he knew very well what Hyunggyu was capable of. And if that's what had happened, he'd rather let you come to terms with it and tell him when you were ready.

After a few moments of silence, Daniel shifted in place and cleared his throat. "I'm actually here to help you prepare for tonight." His voice brought you back to reality, escaping the haunting memory of the night before. Your icy stare finding Daniel's eyes as you did your best to look unbothered. "Prepare me for that ball we're supposed to go to? You're going to help me do my make-up or something?" Your icy tone sent a shiver through Daniel but your attempt at looking nonchalant brought a smirk to his lips. "No, no, I'll let you figure that out on your own." He ran a hand through his hair, his fingers landing on the back of his neck as he tentatively looked up at you. "Tonight's pretty important. Some people are doubting Hyunggyu hyungnim's ability to take over the business and he needs you on your best behavior." You scoffed, crossing your arms in front of your chest. This was completely absurd. This man who proclaimed himself your fiancé, dragged you out of your home one day, shooting your father on the way out and decided to take you to a very important ball the next. Daniel sighed seeing your reaction. "I know it must sound completely crazy to you but this is your ticket to get in Hyunggyu hyungnim's good graces. Remember what I'm going to teach you, help him gain some ground tonight with Seoul's finest and he might just give you some more freedom. This is all very sudden, I know, but I need you to keep it together if you want a shot at getting out of here." You couldn't believe the words that escaped Daniel's lips. But then again, this whole situation was so absurd, you felt like this was only fitting. Your mom's voice sneaked into your mind, reminding you to keep your composure, telling you to keep fighting, for them. Your father's face popped up in your mind and you felt tears pricking at your eyes as you thought of never being able to see him again, as you thought of his body rotting on the cold hard floor of the restaurant.  Daniel saw the change in attitude, seeing your vulnerability crawl back up, no longer hiding behind the tough exterior you tried to put forth with him. His heart ached knowing you thought you needed to put up a front with him. But then again, how could you not? He was a stranger to you. He was someone who watched his boss shoot your father in the head without doing a single thing to stop him. How could you not be wary of him? And he felt such a strange attraction towards you. Although he felt like he had known you all his life, he hadn't and he knew he couldn't force that upon you. You needed to move at your own pace and he was ready to give you exactly that. After a few seconds of silence, Daniel started digging around in his pocket. Clutching the leather watch tightly in his hand, he tentatively took it out as he extended his hand towards you. For a moment you didn't really understand what he was doing until he opened his hand to reveal your dad's watch. Your eyes went wide as you instantly closed the distance between the two of you, taking the watch into your hands. You stared at the watch as tears started to silently roll down your face. "Where'd you get that?" Your tone was a mix of sadness and anger and in that moment, he froze in place, regretting everything he had done. Who did he think he was burying your father for you? His heart was beating against his chest as his mouth went dry, looking for the right words to appease your hurt. "I-I went back there." He looked over your every feature, the tear-stains left behind on your cheeks. "I buried your father in the backyard... next to the other grave." He gulped as he watched you caress the glass lovingly, your fingertips going over the crack running through it. Yesterday morning, this watch had been intact and that afternoon, as Hyunggyu decided to stomp all over your heart, he did the same to this very watch. Staring at the crack running through the thin glass, you promised to run your fingertips over this very crack every time you felt your heart waver. Every time you felt like giving up and letting Hyunggyu run the rest of your life, you'd look at this broken leather watch and think back to the day he single-handedly decided to change the course of your entire life for the worst. "I thought you'd want something to remember him by... I hope I didn't overstep." You wrapped the watch around your left wrist, admiring how it loosely fit your wrist. Without looking up at him, you snaked your arms around his waist, grazing his sides as you pushed his arms aside. You pressed your face against his chest, slightly sobbing as you closed your eyes, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. After the initial shock from your reaction, Daniel embraced you in his long arms, his hands trailing the small of your back as he realized the slick red gown was backless. His fingertips grazed your bare skin as he felt goosebumps on your back. "Thank you." you whispered as you hugged him even closer, breathing in his scent. "For the watch. And-" after taking a little pause, basking in his warmth, you slowly moved away, looking up at him as his hands stayed protectively on the small of your back. "And thank you for allowing my father some peace." You stood on your tiptoes as you planted your lips on his right cheek, your arms snaking around his neck as he squeezed you harder against his chest. You placed your head on his shoulder, still on your tiptoes as he let your fragrance embrace him. You let a sigh escape past your lips, feeling a strange sense of comfort and safety wash over you. You opened your eyes and slightly squeezed the back of his neck. "For some odd reason, I feel like I can count on you. Even when I should think you're the devil for associating with someone like him, for a reason unbeknownst to me... I don't." A slight smile played on his lips as the words you uttered comforted him in where he stood with you. You separated yourself from him, your gaze finding his sparkling eyes in a second. "Please don't make me regret that." His right hand went up to your face, tracing your hairline with his fingertips before landing on your collarbone. "I won't. I promise."

You both enjoyed each other's company for a little longer before Daniel had to excuse himself. He told you to meet him downstairs after you'd change and you looked a little confused as you watched him walk out the door. Change into what? Hyunggyu was ready to buy you a gown that was probably in the tens of thousands but he expected you to wear your dirty, blood-stained clothes as long as you stayed here? Cheap bastard. That's when you heard a knock on the door. The young boy you had seen yesterday poked his head into your room again as he had to do a double take on your appearance. You saw a slight blush crawl up his neck, settling on his cheeks as you chuckled and went over to him, the satin of your dress flowing over your curves. Might as well get as many people as possible on your side, right? He stood straight up, only opening the door wide enough to hand you some more comfortable clothing. You thanked him and after taking a last look at you, he closed the door and left you to change, a slightly embarrassed smile playing on his lips. Ok, so maybe not such a cheap bastard. You quickly changed out of your dress and laid it on the bed, hopping into the fitted black jeans and loose black t-shirt that had been picked out for you. Apparently, your future husband was going for the "no one dare look at my fiancée" kind of vibe. You tentatively went outside your room, making your way downstairs. You had a really good sense of direction and even though you had only walked these halls once, you found your way without a hitch. As you reached the bottom of the stairs, someone escorted you towards a brightly lit room where you found Daniel, serving some tea. You sat down opposite him on one of the two huge sofas that took most of the space in the room. Yesterday evening, this room was filled with guns and mountains of cocaine but today, under the sunlight seeping through the windows, it looked as innocent as a room could get. The two huge ivory sofas gave you a false sense of security as the smooth carpet fibers were tickling your ankles. The glass coffee table that separated Daniel and you added this quaint and cozy feeling to the room which didn't seem like the kind of vibe a Mafia overlord would generally go for. "You in the mafia sure love your soft sofas. Is this entire place just tiny rooms where you can chatter over a nice cup of tea?" He chuckled, pushing the cup of fuming liquid over to you as he brought his own cup to his lips. You watched him closely as he brought the dainty cup to his plump lips, sipping on the hot liquid and sighing in content as the warmth flowed down his throat. You observed him, your mouth salivating as you found yourself gulping at the sight. You slightly shook your head before he caught you spacing out and took the cup into your own hands. "It's actually just the one. And the little alcove in between the first and second floor. Hyunggyu hyugnim likes to treat his guest right." He said, looking up at you before putting his cup back down. "Before murdering them." You sipped on your tea as you saw Daniel's face harden from the corner of your eye. "Sometimes." The liquid caught in your throat as you gulped down hard. You felt like you knew what kind of man Hyunggyu was but having Daniel acknowledge it felt like bringing something abstract to life. You placed the cup on your left knee, your right hand reaching for the sofa, your fingertips brushing the soft surface. "Guess this poor bastard doesn't get to live long before being thrown out with blood all over it." "(y/n)." You instantly looked up, feeling the urgency in Daniel's voice. "This kind of remark is fine with me but be careful of who might overhear. Hyunggyu hyungnim likes a woman of character but be careful with your attitude. He needs you on your best behavior, especially tonight." You scoffed, your hand grabbing the edge of the sofa so hard your knuckles turned white. "He needs me on a leash." You felt your heart tighten as you thought back to last night and the threat he had made. Whether you liked it or not, he owned you. "But I get it. I either behave or he'll make me regret it." You sighed, looking at the ground. "Not like he hasn't already." You whispered as a sob crawled its way up your throat. You swallowed hard, trying to keep your composure. "What does that mean?" You took another sip of tea before placing the cup back on the table. "Nevermind." "No. What do you mean?" You felt your eyes start to water as you thought back to the night before. To his hands on you. To his lips, leaving scorching hot marks on your body. You ground your teeth and closed your eyes, not wanting to talk about it anymore. No matter how hard you tried to close yourself off and forget about all that had happened, you couldn't do that. You couldn't just move past it. But you had to. For your own survival. You had to be strong and face all of this head on. "I said, nevermind. Drop it." Your hot and cold attitude left him confused. He didn't know where he stood with you. One moment, you're hugging him with all your might, your arms wrapped around his waist like your life depended on it and the other you close yourself off, refusing any kind of help. It was frustrating and he promised himself he'd get you to open up. One day.

You spent the next two hours learning all the big dogs' names. Daniel made sure you knew how to walk in heels, which was a very entertaining lesson. He didn't put on his own pair to straight-up show you how to roll your hips from side to side but he made damn sure you knew how to. He also made sure you understood that tonight, all eyes had to be on you and Hyunggyu. You had to make every man present wanting to be with you and every woman present wanting to be you. Simple, right? He also made sure you understood that even though everyone had to be looking and drooling over you tonight, you were to look at Hyunggyu and Hyunggyu only. And most of all, you had to look like you were happy to be by his side. As Daniel went on with his "lesson", your heart was burning in your chest, thinking of having to spend an entire evening hanging by his side, getting introduced to everyone as his fiancée. You were going to have to smile and pretend like your relationship was completely genuine and you were head over heels for the man who put a bullet through your dad's skull. Just thinking about spending an entire evening by his side made you shake in fear and anger. But what could you do? Even if you decided to make a run for it, where would you go? You didn't have anyone. Not anymore. There was nowhere for you to run to. You were alone and this, this was your destiny. And following your mother's words, you decided to play this game right.

After Daniel went over everything one last time, he let you get back to your room, telling you to get ready. As soon as you got back, you headed straight for the bathroom, drawing yourself a nice hot bath. You slipped in, the warmth of the water making your skin tingle. This time, you stayed afloat. Your arms on each side of the bathtub, your head laying on the backend, you stared at the ceiling, imagining the bright blue sky hiding behind this boring white ceiling. You wondered whether birds were flying around above you, enjoying their freedom. You wondered whether they knew how lucky they were to travel the world, in search of a place to call home. You weren't ever going to be able to have that now. You didn't have any family left. Your father's men were probably too scared for their lives to try and save you. Or they simply didn't care to even try. One of his guys probably jumped on the opportunity and took over your father's run-down kingdom. You sighed heavily as you thought of your mom and dad. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, the water stilling around your body. You thought back to the words you could swear you heard your mom utter as you were deep in sleep and made a promise to yourself. No matter what happened. With Daniel. With Hyunggyu. No matter how great Hyunggyu treats you. No matter how badly he tries to spoil you with expensive gifts. No matter how fancy your life gets. You promised yourself you would never forget this was the man who destroyed the plans you had in life. This was the man that had decided to single-handedly uproot you from everything you knew and throw you in one of the most dangerous environments you could find yourself in. This was the man responsible for losing the last standing member of your family. No matter what feelings started to bloom, you could never forget that. And you promised yourself you wouldn't. 

You spent the next hour and a half getting all dolled-up. While you were with Daniel, learning everything you needed to know for tonight, someone had bought and laid out on the dressing table all the makeup you could possibly ever need. From three different eye-shadow palettes to six different shades of red lipstick, this was all so over-the-top. You decided to curl your hair, letting them smoothly fall on your shoulders. You exited the bathroom and glanced at the red gown on the bed. You caressed the fabric, sure you had never felt anything so smooth in your entire life. You slipped it on, the fabric hugging your curves just as it had this morning. You looked at yourself in the big mirror through the bathroom door and you couldn't believe the person you were looking at was actually you. Money sure goes a long way to look good. As you admired yourself in the mirror for what felt like the first time in forever, you heard the door click as someone wearing a suit slipped in, a box in hand. The tall figure turned around to reveal Hyunggyu holding a shoebox. He was wearing an all-black suit. Black shirt, black tie, black vest and black pants. His hair was slicked back and in the bedroom light, the scar crossing his face had never looked so... sexy. Your breath caught in your throat as you forced yourself to try and think straight. A smirk was playing on his lips as he looked at you hungrily, licking his lips. Even from a couple of meters away, you could see the pure lust filling his eyes, looking at you like you were a delicious prey. "I knew red would be your color." His eyes scanned over your body once more before landing on your face, a wide smile spreading on his. Suddenly he looked almost... innocent. He looked like any other guy you'd meet at a coffee shop on a sunny Sunday afternoon. Minus the scar across the face. And yet you'd seen his dark side. Or at least a part of it. You knew how terrifying he could get and the fact that you felt your lower stomach tighten as he walked closer to you had your chest shaking in fear. He offered you a hand as he motioned you over to the small bench at the foot of the bed. "Sit." His voice was like pure honey. That's when you realized this man was dangerous. He was a sleeping volcano waiting to be awakened. One day, he was the kind of man to try and force himself on you and the other, he'd act all gentlemanly. He was terrifying. And for some odd reason, although your brain was screaming for your to run for the hills, your body followed every word that dripped from his lips. You did as he told and sat down as he put one knee on the ground and placed the shoe box on your right. He opened it up to reveal red high heels that looked extremely expensive. As he picked one up, you peeked at the bottom of the shoe and realized these were Louboutins. You were never one to really care for fashion items but then again, you never had the means to even try. He helped you put both shoes on before reaching into his pocket, taking out a square velvet box. You gulped as you observed his fingers dance over the red velvet. He opened the little box to reveal a massive diamond ring. You kept yourself from gasping at the sight as he reached over for your left hand, looking up at you before slipping the ring on. As his skin made contact with yours, a shiver ran down your spine and this time, you weren't quite sure what it meant. "Thought I'd make it official." he said, a smirk spreading on his face. You held your hand out, looking over at the massive diamond ring adorning your finger. You felt a heavy weight settle on your chest as you realized this entire situation was becoming reality. Before, you had somehow felt like him saying he'd make you his wife was just his way of keeping you in line. But no. He actually intended on forcefully making you stay by his side. Your chest tightened at the thought, the small waver you might have felt seeing him looking all dapper leaving your body as soon as it had crept up on you. He helped you up and looked over you once more as he offered his arm for you to take. Taking a deep breath, you put on a fake smile as you laced your arm with his. Every time your skin touched his, this shiver would run down your spine and at this point, you didn't know whether this was a good or a bad thing anymore. Your hand wrapped around his forearm as you sealed your fate. As you stared at the ring on your finger, his eyes studied your face. Behind his fierce gaze, his mind was racing. He didn't know what to make of your whole attitude. Half-anxious that you had a plan to completely ruin his reputation this evening, he opted to believe he had actually dompted you and you had become his well-mannered little puppy. If that's what he thought, he'd be in for quite the ride. From the corner of your eye, you saw him staring at you, his brow furrowing. You looked up at him, doe-eyed as you tried your best to plaster a genuine smile on your face. "Let's go." You whispered as you gave his forearm a slight squeeze. A smirk tugged at his lips as he led you out the door.

You looked around and couldn't believe your eyes. This was your very first time in a limousine. A goddamn limousine. The man sitting next to you might have been a monster and a complete excuse for a human being but he sure knew how to go all out. He sat down next to you, leaving a good enough space between the two of you that you didn't feel suffocated by his presence. But as soon as the car started, his hand crept up to your knee and it stayed there the entire way. You couldn't help but stare at his thumb, rubbing circles on your inner thigh as you tried to keep your composure. You knew better than to push him away but you weren't going to play into his game. At least not in private. You might get nominated for a Golden Globe for the performance you were planning on putting tonight, but he should know better than to expect for you to act like his future wife behind closed doors. After about half an hour in complete silence, your mind going in circle over Hyunggyu's touch, you finally arrived at the Mayor's mansion. The right door next to Hyunggyu opened and you spotted Daniel's blonde locks waving in the breeze. You hadn't realized Daniel had come along but then again you should have known. Daniel and Hyunggyu might be at two opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to human decency but Daniel was still his second in command. Hyunggyu exited first, buttoning his vest and drinking in the view of the majestic mansion before turning around to offer you his hand. You looked up at him, hesitant to take his hand at first. You saw his insistent gaze and the crowd of people starting to gather behind him and tentatively put your hand in his. A smirk played on his lips as he brought your hand to his lips and helped you out of the limo. As soon as you stood by his side, his arm snaked around your back, his left hand landing on your bruised hip. You almost winced at the touch, trying as hard as you could to hold it in. You turned towards Hyunggyu, giving him a fake smile as you saw Daniel in the corner of your eye looking upon the scene while closing the car door. Hyunggyu moved closer to you, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered. "Ready, darling?" You could see Daniel looking at you, waiting for a reaction, waiting for you to put on an act. You thought to what he'd told you this afternoon and took a deep breath. Your red lips parted into a smile as Hyunggyu looked into your eyes deeply. You held his gaze as your hand landed on his. A shiver coursed through your body as your skin made contact with his. A smile tugging at his lips from your reaction, his thumb started to draw circles into your hip just like he did in the car and you gritted your teeth, trying to hold the pain in. "Ready as I'll ever be." you managed to say through the pain. He planted a kiss on your cheek as flashes of light attacked the both of you and you finally noticed the armada of paparazzi on both sides of the red carpet leading up to the mansion. You acted coy upon receiving his kiss which seemed to please Hyunggyu and the paparazzi. His lips left your cheek, his eyes gleaming with pride and satisfaction as he seemed to think you had given up control completely. "That's what I like to hear, sweetheart." His hand left your side as he laced his fingers with yours and you felt like you could finally breathe. Daniel appeared from behind Hyunggyu, motioning you both to move towards the steps leading up to the mansion. "Hyungnim, we should be going." As the words left his lips, his gaze was fixated on you. You had never seen such intensity from Daniel. His eyes darted to your hand, your fingers intertwined with Hyunggyu's and you could swear you saw him clench his jaw. As his eyes made their way back to your face, you slightly nodded towards him, assuring him you were alright. You hoped he understood. Before you could make sure Daniel had gotten your message, Hyunggyu was leading you through the jungle of camera flashes as you tried your best to smile for the camera and look happy. You made sure to wave with your left hand, exposing the massive diamond ring that had only been on your hand for about an hour. As you climbed up the stairs to the Mayor's mansion, you looked up at the sky and thought of your mom. With her voice ringing true in your mind, you looked to your right at Hyunggyu and smirked. Game on.

[placetobenation]

Last week, I called for a bit of reflection and honest from the WWE. And I think they delivered a solid week on the rebound.

I’ll admit, it didn’t start well as the first couple hours of RAW wasn’t exactly must see TV with Nia Jax and some questionable booking messing things up. But, Sasha Banks title win and Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre’s Extreme Rules match changed the momentum. Add in The Legend Killer’s new lust for the WWE Championship and they were off in running!

Keith Lee carried the torch over to NXT with a career best promo on Karrion Kross along with a strong presentation in the ring Wednesday night.

And how about SmackDown on Friday! The Fiend unleashed again, FINALLY!

Plus, I’ll say this – the shows “sounded” better with some renewed energy. It’s a good start and no, one week doesn’t make everything ok, but it sure makes everything better than it was 7 days ago.

It’s a positive sign as we head to the year’s next major PPV at SummerSlam. I wonder if the rumors of the WWE trying to hold it outside on a beach or in the NorthEast somewhere in front of a small crowd come true. If nothing else, it would be a visually pleasing change for a night. And what’s with the announcement of a Payback PPV just one week after SummerSlam? Brings back shades of Tuesday in Texas back in the old In Your House Days as The Undertaker took on Hulk Hogan in back-to-back weeks on a PPV.

Star of the Week:

Dominik Mysterio – OK, I’ll admit it’s a bit of a stretch, but damn, that was some nifty kendo stick wielding Monday night. It looks like the kid might be able to handle himself. We’ll see in the upcoming weeks and we’ll have to see if Dear Ol’ Dad sticks around to see it. See what I did there…

RAW

RESULTS

Andrade & Angel Garza defeated The Viking Raiders and Ricochet & Cedric Alexander to win tag team title match at SummerSlam

Nia Jax vs. Shayna Baszler went to a double count out

Bobby Lashley defeated Mustafa Ali

RAW Women’s Championship Match: Sasha Banks defeated Asuka to win title

Murphy defeated Humberto Carrillo

Non-Title WWE Championship Match – Extreme Rules: Drew McIntyre defeated Dolph Ziggler

Loved it:

Drew vs. Dolph II – While I don’t think we needed a rematch one week later, I give big time props to Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler for putting on another amazing match. This time it was Extreme Rules for everyone and they did not disappoint. Kudos to both for putting themselves through another brutal physical match just one week after their first one at the Horror Show at Extreme Rules PPV. Dolph, even in defeat, helps steal the show.

The champ never saw it coming. RKO OUTTA NOWHERE by @RandyOrton! #WWERaw pic.twitter.com/2XJINy7R1N

— WWE (@WWE) July 28, 2020

Randy vs. Drew – The two hottest stars on the men’s side of Monday Night RAW are now set for a collision course at SummerSlam. Sure, once Randy Orton made his feelings for the WWE Championship known at the start of the show, we all knew an RKO was coming to end the night for McIntyre. Still, out of nowhere, a feud that could be one of the year’s best has begun!

I was able to accomplish so much in the last three years, but it wasn’t because of my ability or my strength. It was because of all of the constant, warm support from the fans. I am so thankful I could meet you all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Kairi Sane

pic.twitter.com/BaH2UBi9wn

— KAIRI SANE (@KairiSaneWWE) July 28, 2020

The Main Event – There’s nothing wrong with Sasha Banks and Bayley holding all the Women’s Gold in the WWE! Sasha has earned it now with a win over Asuka Monday night. The odd part of it is that the WWE used Bayley’s attack on Kairi Sane to make it happen. Of course, this tactic has been used time and again over the course of wrestling history. No shame there. It’s the fact that Sane is now gone from the WWE and they let Sane tweet about it during the show. Very strange indeed to those on both screens at the same time. But, mind you, only 13% (give or take) of Americans are actually on Twitter so take it with a grain of salt. It just shows lack of detail. Great feud somewhat overshadowed by a sidelight. Now, what does Asuka do next?

Hated it:

Nia vs. Shayna – Why on Earth did they waste my time with not one, but two segments that settled nothing. Jax just lacks depth on-air and it’s the same ol’ story. A battle between Baszler and Jax would be fine if they just let them go. But, to give me a short brawl followed later in the night by a useless (and short) count out was pointless. If you want them to fight, let them fight. Don’t waste our time.

Why?:

.@WWERollins & @WWE_Murphy went TOO FAR with @WWEAleister…but @35_Dominik went to the EXTREME!#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/3RPkoRte9T

— WWE (@WWE) July 28, 2020

Monday Night Messiah – If Seth Rollins is that influential and The Messiah, why does he only have one minion? You would think after months of saying he’s a cult leader, he would have a bigger following. Plus, what exactly in this continuing obsession with people’s eyes? I was hoping that would be left in the past with Rey Mysterio, but now it’s Aleister Black’s turn as he is on the shelf with arm and eye injuries after this week’s attack by Murphy and Rollins. I guess it’s Dominik Mysterio’s turn to take on the MNM. Let’s hope he continues to bring us to the Extreme with more than kendo sticks. But, it was a nice start for the younger Mysterio.

Intrigue:

Just like THAT, it's official.@Zelina_VegaWWE will lead @AndradeCienWWE & @AngelGarzaWwe into #SummerSlam to challenge @AngeloDawkins & @MontezFordWWE for the #WWERaw #TagTeamTitles! pic.twitter.com/dY1ZilL1IK

— WWE (@WWE) July 28, 2020

Tag Team Titles – I love what The Street Profits bring in and out of the ring and now they have a new challenger in Andrade & Angel Garza. They are so many ways they can go to get to their Tag Team Title Match at SummerSlam too. Maybe we’ll get a Bianca vs. Zelina side story too to make things interesting. Either way, the matches should be fun and if done right, it’s a pairing that could (and should) last on and off for the rest of the year.

Where’s Apollo – C’mon WWE – just be honest and let us know the deal with Apollo Crews. If it was just a neck/disc injury, wouldn’t Crews have done an interview segment at least? Maybe the rumors of Crews having COVID-19 are true and if they are, the WWE would be serving the superstar and its audience better by being honest.

NXT

RESULTS

Io Shirai & Tegan Nox defeated Candice LeRae & Dakota Kai

Johnny Gargano defeated Roderick Strong

Mercedes Martinez defeated Shotzi Blackheart

Non-title NXT Tag Team Championship Match: Imperium defeated Ever-Rise

Isaiah “Swerve” Scott defeated Jake Atlas

Triple Threat Match: Dexter Lumis defeated Timothy Thatcher & Finn Balor to earn spot in North American Title Ladder Match at TakeOver: XXX

Loved it:

"Kross, you have clearly made it a point that you 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 my attention, that you 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 my championship and you've done such extra BULL****!" #NXTChampion @RealKeithLee is PISSED. #WWENXT pic.twitter.com/QinBFDoKDd

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) July 30, 2020

Keith Lee – Hands down, the best promo of Keith Lee’s NXT career. No BS. Straight forward. This killer feud with Karrion Kross and Scarlett will be epic!

That's our champ.

#WWENXT @shirai_io @DakotaKai_WWE pic.twitter.com/cSL3SAw9qb

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) July 30, 2020

Io & Friends – What a start to the night! Io Shirai is such a bundle of non-stop energy in the ring! It was a very strong tag team match in which Shirai goes over Candice LeRae after Dakota Kai leaves LeRae stranded alone in the ring.

Shotzi – I get a smile when Shotzi comes on the screen. Even knowing she would face a tough battle against Mercedes Martinez, Blackheart brings the tank-riding run to the ring. I really want a Blackheart vs. Sasha Banks match if not for the hair color battle alone! She’s entertaining each and every week.

Clunky:

fixed on gold. #WWENXT #TripleThreat #NXTTakeOver @DexterLumis pic.twitter.com/dEddCIWBtB

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) July 30, 2020

Triple threat ending – What was a decent main event and a fine match (how’s that for underplaying the main event!), it sure turned out to be a very clunky finish. With Timothy Thatcher trying to submit Finn Balor and his injured knee, Dexter Lumis puts out Thatcher to get the victory. It’s an easy way to skirt out Balor from being pinned or submitted and it’s another week of a “surprise” winner heading to TakeOver:XXX for a chance at the North American Title. This new land of opportunity is making a look for the underdog winner each week now.

Strong:

When you 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 wanna shut them up. #WWENXT @JohnnyGargano @roderickstrong pic.twitter.com/KllKZGpg9m

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) July 30, 2020

Johnny vs. Roderick – No pun intended, but these two put on a hell of a match.

The Swerve – I like giving Scott some depth and a shot in the arm with a little build-up. I hope it continues and he gets included in a future triple threat to make his way into the North American Title Ladder Match at TakeOver: XXX.

Looking forward to it:

Ready or not, HERE THEY COME.#UndisputedERA #WWENXT @Marcel_B_WWE @AdamColePro @KORcombat @theBobbyFish @roderickstrong @FabianAichner pic.twitter.com/C6q9OiR0tp

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) July 30, 2020

Imperium vs. The Undisputed Era – After a few months on the backburner, we finally get our Imperium vs. TUE match next week for the tag team titles.

A thought:

"Let's figure out a time for he and I to talk. This does seems like a miscommunication." – @PatMcAfeeShow to @TripleH about @AdamColePro #WWENXT pic.twitter.com/qbucAyuf6o

— WWE (@WWE) July 30, 2020

Pat McAfee vs. Adam Cole – While I think it’s a smart idea to bring that social media/reality drama to the TV side with Cole going ballistic on McAfee’s show, it did seem odd that Cole was on the show but didn’t have any comment on it. Something to watch down the road and probably just a product of late editing to the show.

SMACKDOWN

RESULTS

Intercontinental Title Match: AJ Styles defeated Gran Metalik

King Corbin defeated Drew Gulak

Big E defeated The Miz

Naomi defeated Lacey Evans

SmackDown Women’s Championship: Bayley defeated Nikki Cross to retain the title

Loved it:

@SonyaDevilleWWE almost went there! #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/7YsIcy1Hu3

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) August 1, 2020

Sonya’s Surprise – She’s back and not done messing with Mandy Rose! Deville’s dominance continues as she not only beats on Rose, but mocks up her make-up and cuts her blonde locks too! It’s one of this year’s best feuds and I’m glad it is back on as we head to SummerSlam. I’m guessing we get a Hair vs. Hair Match coming soon.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED? #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/qxUW17RjOk

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) August 1, 2020

Firefly Fun House and more – It was stale and then awesome! At the beginning, we’re asking ourselves how many times is Bray Wyatt going to tell us no one is safe when “he,” The Fiend is set free? When’s the last time The Fiend, or Wyatt for that matter, did anything heinous as when he first started out? Then, to end the night, he’s out there giving the mandible claw to Alexa Bliss! Awesome! It’s only a matter of time before she’s trying to turn Braun Strowman in person, right?! Well done!

Solid:

Stay classy, @AJStylesOrg! #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/PsNVaHoriq

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) August 1, 2020

AJ’s Title Match – Nobody really tough Gran Metalik would beat AJ Styles for the I-C Title, but we knew it would be a good match. And that it was. A very solid way to kick-off the night.

BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/R0YbD2s3ny

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) August 1, 2020

Big E – The build to a possible title run in the future begins now for the biggest member of The New Day. A nice victory over The Miz, who seems to be there to put people over at the moment, is a decent way to get things going without Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods. It is kind of odd though how Michael Cole and Corey Graves act like Big E has never wrestled singles before and won. He’s a former NXT and Intercontinental Champion.

Bayley vs. Nikki Cross – A good back-and-forth match that was really never in doubt. Of course, it did get us to plant another seed in the Cross/Alexa Bliss splitting and The Fiend’s attack on Bliss. So, in that, it did its job.

Building the Kingdom?

King Corbin – Is the King about to build a band of merry men around him? Corbin was courting Shorty G Friday night and I’m sure he’s not done. I like the idea of KC being the leader of a not-so-sunshine band.

SummerSlam – Updated Card

WWE Championship Match: Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton

RAW Tag Team Championship Match: The Street Profits vs. Andrade & Angel Garza

Parting Shots:

Moving on – Just in case you were wondering where some of those who left the WWE have gone to these days, here’s an update. The Good Brothers, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows have joined Eric Young, EC3 and Heath Slater in Impact Wrestling. Matt Cardona (a/k/a Zack Ryder) is now with AEW. Lio Rush wrestling this past weekend for GCW.

Coming up this week:

RAW: Drew McIntyre & Asuka respond to attacks

NXT: Triple Threat Match for spot in the North American Title Ladder Match at TakeOver: XXX – Oney Lorcan vs. Damian Priest vs. Ridge Holland Rhea Ripley vs. Dakota Kai – winner gets a shot at NXT Women’s Championship at TakeOver: XXX NXT Tag Team Championship Match: Imperium vs. The Undisputed Era

SMACKDOWN: TBD

Thanks for letting us share our thoughts! Shoot me an email at jcrowe567@gmail.com. We’d love to hear your comments and suggestions! You can also check out my blog, The Crowe’s Nest as we delve into more pro wrestling, sports entertainment and the World of Sports. My apologies ahead of time – I AM a Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics and Bruins fan! If you’re not down with that, I’ve got TWO WORDS for you… NEW ENGLAND

[abadpoetwithdreams]

Nirvana in Fire Episode 4 Reaction

I thought this would be a fast episode to recap/review, but no. It wasn’t. A LOT HAPPENS. Most importantly? This is the episode where we really, finally get introduced to Jing (and, in a way, to Lin Shu himself) and that whole scene is so important!!! Also there’s the subplot with the slave kids, and the threat of Ni Huang’s impending marriage, and now there’s a subplot TO that subplot about her being in danger from someone, PLUS we FINALLY learn what Lin Shu is ultimately trying to do here in the court, and aaaaaahh. So much goodness! I got a little misty-eyed, even? That’s how good it is. It doesn’t bode well for my poor emotions in later episodes. Will this show ever have a filler episode that I can summarize my reaction to in, like, a single paragraph??? I’m guessing not. But I’m okay with that because I’m enjoying it so much.

Back to this episode, episode 4, we start where we left off with the fight from last episode, with Jing Rui getting flung across a table by Baili Qi. The emperor intervenes and stops the fight before anyone (meaning poor Jing Rui) gets seriously hurt, but in the pause afterwards he notices that Chang Su (who DID manage to swallow all that tangerine without dying, I am very proud of him) is leaning over whispering in a smiling Ni Huang’s ear. So of course the Emperor demands to be let in on whatever secret is being told.

And how cute is the sight of Mei Chang Su and Ni Huang whispering mischievously to each other at the EMPEROR’S OWN TABLE, so to speak? The answer, my friend, is pretty dang cute. They look like they’ve reverted to being a couple of children together. Ni Huang’s so comfortable and close with him, it reeeeeally feels like she instinctively recognizes him and it’s like her brain is just waiting to catch up with her heart which is already making her treat him like a lifelong friend, even if she doesn’t consciously realize it yet. Then again, she seemed already so intrigued from the first instant she saw him … I really want to know what he was telling her; I don’t think he was telling her the stratagem he was about to put into play, because he did seem surprised when she caught on so fast, but he could have been acting so idk. Maybe he just told her to follow his lead. Or maybe he literally just told her what he tells the Emperor he was saying: that Baili Qi is a strong but badly-trained warrior who could undoubtedly be defeated by children.

(Chang Su acts embarrassed as he admits this but COME ON. He is LOVING it.)

The whole room gasps. This is a massive insult delivered by an honored guest in front of the most important people in the kingdom. They are electrified with horror, shocked amusement, and intrigue (and, in the case of Northern Yan’s group: outrage).

And Mei Chang Su, THIS TROLL, puts on his meek innocent face and is all “oh, no, I meant no offense at all, we are all friends here, my bad, it is just that I make mistakes like everyone else, I should really learn to think before I speak ohohohoho”

But the ambassador from Northern Yan is having none of it and demands Mei Chang Su produce some children to be slaughtered by Baili Qi right. Now.

(I feel insulted on poor Jing Rui’s behalf that his buddy Chang Su has basically just said to THE EMPEROR that a child could fight better than he just did, and he does actually look a little miffed here, but only briefly. He is a better person than me, this noble sword-boy.)

(Btw, this scene is a good example of how Chang Su has the SWEETEST smile when he wants to. It is an excellent distraction from his clever manipulation, which I can attest to personally because it distracts ME from paying close attention to what he’s saying, so I’m assuming it worked on everyone else in that hall, too.)

Chang Su says ok, but also he’d have to train the kids, PLUS the kids would have to be previously untrained, and Ni Huang catches on almost immediately and starts helping, the end result being that the two of them work together fiendishly well, dancing back and forth with their varying reasons for why the children they pick for the bout HAVE to be taken from the slaves in the palace–y'know, one of which is Ting Sheng from last episode. It’s about now that I started laughing because “oh no he isn'tttt” but yes: he totally is. Mei Chang Su is already setting things in motion to save the kid Prince Jing mysteriously cares about. Brazenly, in front of the Emperor and the entire court. With Meng surely sweating bullets the whole time as he stands beside the Emperor.

Also there’s a great moment when Chang Su pretends to be VERY contrite about suggesting some children could whip Baili Qi, almost to the point of being flustered, and he stammers out some thing about how it wouldn’t be fair to use kids already trained in martial arts, as that would be an unfair advantage to them, and the Northern Yan crew look like they’re going to have a fit and the rest of the hall busts up laughing (except for the Crown Prince who looks upset by this further insult to the foreign group, and for Prince Yu who just smirks like he’s impressed) and in the meantime Mei Chang Su stands there in the midst of this hurricane he created looking wholly innocent and clueless and ugh I LOVE HIM. HE’S THE WORST.

So Chang Su, with the help of his secret ally Meng, manages not only to get the Emperor’s permission to take three kids from the slave ranks to train them, but also gets permission to train them back in his own house, and is given five days to do so. He also hints that the kids might deserve, oh I don’t know, some kind of reward after they defeat Baili Qi? I SEE YOU, LIN SHU. I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING.

Meng picks three kids at random, and Ting Sheng somehow happens to be one of them. Wow, what a craaaaaazy coincidence!

Later, Jing Rui voices concern about the kids’ chances because he is, y'know, sane, but Chang Su is unmoved. He says he is going to have them use a Towering Phantom technique? Sounds impressive. Jing Rui knows of this technique but has never seen it. Chang Su asks does Jing Rui not trust him? Jing Rui promptly replies that he DOES trust his friend, who is so clever and knows so much. It’s painful to hear him say so. Then Yu Jin chimes in by saying that everything must be ok because Chang Su clearly has a plan: if the kids defeat Baili Qi in this mock combat round, Baili Qi won’t have the gall to then say he has the right to fight Ni Huang. That’s a good point. I’m very impressed that Lin Shu is seemingly managing to kill two birds with one stone, here. Very good.

(Speaking of Yu Jin, slight sidetrack meta time: I’m writing this as I rewatch after making it to episode 16 and then stopping, so I have seen more of these boys than just four episodes’ worth. And this is one of the earliest telling moments I’ve noticed where Yu Jin seems to see Chang Su’s stratagems clearly. He doesn’t see any long term goal in them, but he’s good at seeing what’s going on in the moment. It seems to me like the reason why he notices more about what Su is doing when compared to Jing Rui, is that Jing Rui takes Chang Su’s friendship more for granted. They are already friends at the beginning of the show; Yu Jin begins the show eager to meet this legendarily cool pugilist leader, so he’s a bit more removed from Chang Su the person and more calibrated to view Chang Su the persona. Chang Su is just lucky that Yu Jin is such a happy puppy of a person who wants to see the best in people and so isn’t a suspicious sort, otherwise he would definitely have an edge when it comes to figuring out that Chang Su is such a devious plotter and has some dangerous long-term goals; he is too innocent, alas. I also get the feeling that Jing Rui is at a disadvantage here even though he is the more mature of the two simply because he’s grown up surrounded by not one but TWO doting families so he’s just? Used to being loved? (And yet still hasn’t gotten spoiled, bless him.) But being accustomed to being the center of attention/having a positive network around him blinds him to Chang Su’s machinations. Anyway. Yu Jin and Jing Rui are the Most Precious souls in this entire show so far and must be protected at all costs. I dread what’s undoubtedly coming for them. The show wouldn’t make them this Good for no reason.)

Meanwhile, best of friends Meng is assuring the Emperor that it is very possible that Su Zhe might know a secret technique that would enable children to defeat Baili Qi, and also says even if the kids lose it’s a win-win for the Emperor. He also says even if the kids lose, it “won’t be any worse than it is now.” The Emperor somehow finds that reassuring? I feel like insulting a rival nation’s champion, then losing to him in a fight brought about by the insult IS a situation that would be made worse by the loss, but maybe he figures he’ll just punish this random impertinent strategist if things go wrong and so therefore he, the Emperor, is fine no matter what. Whatever.

The next scene starts pretty randomly with one of the less important concubines crying because she has to light candles at the shrine for a dead Empress. Is dead Empress the current Emperor’s mother? I feel like it must be. Anyway she must have been an awful person if her ghost can scare this woman that badly.

Enter Jingmum!! Jingmum (not her name, alas, but I’m using it for clarification sake) offers to accompany and help her fellow woman because she is a good and wonderful person. How much influence did she have over Jing as he grew up? Because he seems like a fantastic guy, but as a concubine of the Emperor I don’t know how much freedom to just be a mom to her kid this woman had. I want to see what their relationship is like.

Oh, and the current Empress is the one punishing the sad concubine for something trivial like bad handwriting or somesuch. This is an interesting detail because until now the Emperor’s favourite concubine, Crown Prince’s mom, seemed much more obviously hateful. This shows the Empress is also definitely not a good person. It reminds me of how Yu scolded those sparring soldiers so harshly back in episode 2. Guess that’s where he learned it from?

“Your arms must be sore,” a way too kind and compassionate Jingmum says to her fellow concubine, after the latter lights some candles. If her arms are sore, she needs to do some lifting, my gosh. Then again, I suppose she doesn’t have anything to do in her life to strengthen her arms, but still. That’s pathetic. Jingmum even massages her arm as they walk out of the shrine together??? What a saint. She says she was trained in medicine before, so I guess that explains things. Have her take a look at Lin Shu, pls. I want him alive longer than two years ok? Make it so.

Thunder sounds and I’m immediately like “SAVE THE BEAUTIFUL DRESSES” but the two women have the same thought apparently and scurry under cover, much to my relief.

BUT THEN. Their run for cover puts them right outside a secluded room where they can overhear a conversation between some old woman and the most evil-looking handmaid I’ve ever seen in my entire life. This actress flat-out sneers every word, and it’s kind of funny. But the conversation itself isn’t funny: they’re talking about some kind of drug that “the Empress Dowager used on Princess Supreme Li Yang back then.” Um. WHAT?! Someone wants to use this drug on someone in secret, and these women are making the necessary arrangements.

Jingmum and weak-arm concubine hurry away before they are spotted, but that sounded REALLY SKEEVY. My suspicions are confirmed when weak-arm concubine, in major distress, tells Jingmum that this is an emergency: that drug they were talking about is basically a date rape drug that was used in the past on the Princess Supreme. Who, I am pretty sure, is one of Jing Rui’s moms???? (Ten episodes later I know that yes, this is Jing Rui’s mom.) WHAT IS HAPPENING. Nothing good, that is sure. Weak-arm asks Jingmum for advice, and Jingmum tells her to keep silent about what she heard. It’s better to play it safe in the palace and not meddle in secrets, she says. This is exactly he opposite of what Jing would say, I have no doubt. So he can’t have spent THAT much time with his mom: enough to inherit her goodness but not her subtlety, I think.

Back at Snow Cottage we are treated to a long montage of the slave children waving swords around with varying expressions of seriousness on their round faces. Fei Liu is doing all the work to train them, and I imagine he’s a brutal but effective teacher. Lin Shu is sitting nearby paying nearly zero attention; he trusts Fei Liu to get the job done. “Make them faster so I can be sure to win,” he instructs, and I’m pretty sure that’s all he needs to say for Fei Liu to do everything in his power to make these kids the fastest children under the sun. I am curious about why he is so very, very devoted to Lin Shu. They’re such an odd duo but so great together.

Lin Shu does start paying attention, however, when Ni Huang shows up for an unannounced visit. Surprise! As always, he looks momentarily stricken to see her, and I wonder if she realizes she frightens him, she seems like she’s always watching him very closely. She looks like she is pleased to have surprised him, but he covers his reaction almost instantly. Ni Huang is here to see the children’s formation they are practicing for herself, and she is very perceptive in her criticism of it as she walks alone with Chang Su afterwards. I love it whenever Ni Huang shows off how smart she is AND how skilled she is in warfare. She’s perfect. She asks if he maybe has something further planned, and he doesn’t answer, like he doesn’t trust himself to reply. Every time she shows how clever she is it’s like you can see that hidden Lin Shu in him fall in love with her all over again and it’s the WORST. Sidenote: Hu Ge has done amazing work in this show so far, but one of my favourite aspects of his portrayal is that you can so clearly tell when shades of Lin Shu are coming out–which is remarkable, when you think about it, because I still haven’t been introduced to Lin Shu. I still don’t know who he IS. And yet I do, because Hu Ge has such a clear understanding of who he is, he’s clueing me in even without that formal introduction, even without convenient flashbacks, or without ever talking about who he was before. He’s wonderful.

Chang Su finally promises he will do all he can to help Ni Huang out of her predicament (one of the few promises he makes that I 100% believe, lol), and she looks thoughtful.

“For some reason,” she confesses as she looks out at the garden, “I actually trust you.”

Lin Shu’s only reaction is a blink that covers a flinch, and it’s like you can see how glad her confession makes him before reality catches up to his relief and turns it all to pain, and then he just. Walks away. No bow, no farewell, nothing. Because he can’t handle this, and neither can I. Ni Huang watches him go, looking strangely triumphant. Point to Ni Huang, I think. She is DEFINITELY on to him.

That night, Jingmum stays up very late sewing some pouches. She’s planning something. The next day (presumably), the delightful grandmother is back!!!! I’m desperately hoping that this time she doesn’t break my heart. Right now she’s all happy because she’s admiring the nice smell of the pretty sachet she has; the other concubines present also have some. Crown Prince’s mom and the Empress are there, too. The grandmother, learning that Jingmum made the sachets, eagerly asks that she be invited into the hall. Apparently her status is so lowly she cannot visit the grandmother without permission?? That’s so unfair. I wonder if the Emperor’s displeasure with Jing is thus reflected onto Jing’s mother, or if she’s just always been a nobody.

(Sidenote: the Empress’ headdress is a MARVEL. It’s been a while since I’ve commented on costumes. That headdress might be my favourite costume piece of the episode. Either that, or Mei Chang Su’s cute white turtleneck thing.)

When Jingmum comes in, Princess Supreme Li Yang is there. She is so sweet? Jingmum offers her a gift of a sachet, too, but then uses that moment where she presses it into the Princess’ hand to squeeze her hand hard, and the Princess immediately knows something is up. This is a code of some kind, probably a “we need to talk” or something similar.

Grand Empress Dowager, meanwhile, has another memory time slip; she seems to think that Jingmum is new to the harem, and is still just as warm and kind to her, because she’s such a wonderful old lady.

And THEN THIS HAPPENS:

“After Consort Chen gave birth, she isn’t feeling very well. You are a medical maid. Since the Lin family sent you here, you must take good care of her.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. As the grandmother says this, EVERYONE gets visibly nervous and the music gets very tense. There is no Consort Chen, the Empress says. She died a long time ago.

The poor old grandmother immediately is extremely distressed, and starts begging for her eldest grandson. What has happened to her eldest grandson? She cries. Nothing good, I think. Darn it, this old woman has punched me in the heart AGAIN. I will never trust a scene with her in it ever again, so help me. The various women flutter around trying to calm her, and order Jingmum out of the hall, saying this is her fault.

Okay: there is a LOT to unpack here. First: Consort Chen. I don’t know who she is, but clearly her death was NOT a natural one. It definitely had something to do with whatever went down twelve years ago. Second: the eldest grandson. I don’t know who he is? Maybe I’ve heard before, but not enough that I recognize his name. Presumably he was also part of that disaster. I’m assuming both he and his mom (?) were implicated in the same false treason that took down Lin Shu himself, because those women looked scared to hear those names brought up. Furthermore, if he was the eldest son, then I’m guessing that he was a main target in whatever plot went down. Third: the Lin family sent Jingmum? So she’s related to Lin Shu directly? (Aside: I know a bit more about how the various families are connected from where I am in ep16 now, but at the time I watched this I was a lot more up in the air.)

Later, Jingmum is visited by the Princess, who made up some excuse about a rash so she could visit the medically-skilled minor concubine. In truth, she’s just there because she got the signal earlier and wants to know why Jingmum wanted to talk. It’s a refreshing change to see Court women sneaking about for the sake of good, instead of because they’re wicked snakey people (looking at you, Crown Prince mom and Empress). Jingmum explains about what she overheard, and the Princess FREEZES. There’s a flashback, and oh my gosh. The princess was given the wine by HER OWN MOTHER???? WHO ARRANGED HER DAUGHTER’S DRUGGING TO ENABLE THE MARQUIS TO HAVE HIS WAY WITH HER???? THEREBY TRAPPING HER IN AN IMPOSSIBLE DILEMMA OF DISHONOR UNLESS SHE MARRIED HIM?? This is despicable. It’s horrific. And I feel horrible for both the Princess and for Jing Rui, who surely knows nothing of this, and ughhhhhhh. It’s so gross. HER OWN MOM.

Anyway, the Princess is first angry that this painful history is brought up, but when she realizes someone is in danger of suffering this fate today, she is first shocked and then turns all to steel. Jingmum tells her only she can save Ni Huang, who is surely the target of the unknown schemer. Many people are desperate to be allied to Ni Huang and her family via marriage right now. Somehow, they have to protect her.

Does Lin Shu know this is going on???? I can’t imagine how he would, but surely he won’t be kept in the dark for long.

Speaking of Lin Shu, the kids are still flailing around with their swords and they look more adept now. Chang Su congratulates them and they all grin back at him and it’s very cute. This has probably been the best week of their lives. Why is he so good with kids??? The cynic in me is like “because he’s good at manipulating people” but I like to think it’s the Lin Shu part of him, not the Chang Su, that connects with them. Anyway, Fei Liu is like an angry, jealous cat until Chang Su, somehow managing to keep a straight face, gives him a very deliberate compliment to mollify him.

And then: Jing is back! And never mind what I said earlier, HIS costume might be my favourite of the episode. Those strong, vibrant colors? That bright red belt? LOOKING GOOD, JING.

The children scamper off to play, but Ting Sheng pauses to smile shyly at Jing before he goes and I melt a little. Jing is here to check on the boy, but also to let Chang Su know he’s researched his background. Is it just me, or did Chang Su look a bit excited at that? He lights up a little at the prospect of finding out how well he’s duped Prince Jing. A little too well, as it turns out. Jing is particularly cutting as he says, funny story, he tends to be pretty ignorant of politics (heavily implying that politics is the Worst), but he has found out that Mei Chang Su is buddies with both the Crown Prince AND Prince Yu, isn’t that interesting? Coming from someone as forthright and firmly principled as Jing, this is a slap in the face. He somehow manages to even turn how he sips his tea into a diss. Chang Su definitely pauses here; I honestly think Lin Shu planned for this, but that he didn’t anticipate how much it would sting to have Jing think so little of him. He CLEARLY cares a lot about Jing’s opinion of him, which might prove problematic to his persona, I imagine. He says he’s not their friend, they just both want him as their ally, and Jing scoffs: surely the great Mei Chang Su didn’t come to the capitol NOT to try to seize power?

No, that is true, agrees Chang Su. He does want to help guide the next Emperor. Jing looks a little disappointed, but not surprised. He asks with pointed restraint whether Chang Su is going to support the Crown Prince or Prince Yu.

And this is the moment Lin Shu has been waiting for, for who knows how long–you can tell that this is a moment he has been longing for–he doesn’t want either of them. I’d like to choose you.

I did NOT see this coming, but the instant he said it I was like YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! He’s not just tearing down: he’s building up!! It’s not just about ruining the people he hates, he is going to beat them at their own game by raising up an Emperor HE wants!!!! Omg. Omg. So hyped. This revelation made me SO. HAPPY. Because it makes the stakes IMPOSSIBLY higher, and it also makes me love Lin Shu even more. Because this is solid confirmation that this isn’t just a revenge story, and I’m just ECSTATIC because this game Lin Shu is playing is also going to be soooooo much more complicated and multilayered than I had anticipated if Jing as Emperor is his end goal. He’s going to have to play the court like a fiddle, and omg I can’t wait to see him work. Plus, I WANT JING TO BE EMPEROR. So I am aaaaaaall in. This is the best reveal ever.

Jing, meanwhile, almost gets whiplash from how fast he turns to stare at the placidly smiling Chang Su. He looks absolutely dazed for a good few seconds, and it’s adorable–and then he bursts out laughing. This poor man.

He sits down and downs a cup of tea like it’s a shot, which made me laugh in the midst of my giddy excitement, ahahahaha, and then, slightly bitterly, Jing lays out plainly to this strategist just how impossible it is for him to reach the throne. His mother is of low rank, he has no noble family connections through her, he has no connections in the world of politics or in any of the various government ministries, he’s spent basically his entire adult life soldiering and so has no worthy connections there, he is not even a high-ranked prince himself even though he’s 31 because, oh yeah, his dad the current Emperor HATES HIM. So, good luck with that, Chang Su. Hearing Jing list all the ways he’s a (supposed) failure made me so sad. I know basically nothing about him as a person, but I know on instinct that he deserves so much better. Again: the acting is so good. Also the music. The Music starts up in this scene and it’s awesome.

Chang Su looks levelly at Jing. I know you are at a disadvantage, he says. But I have no other choice. And for just a second, he sounds DANGEROUS. It’s one of the few times so far, I think, that Lin Shu is speaking 100% honestly, no restraint or hiding behind masks, but pure INTENT, and the depth of the emotion he had in that one line was just–yes. Yes, do it. Take down those who wronged you, and work impossible wonders to get Jing made Emperor. DO IT. I BELIEVE IN YOU.

(Just … Do it without hurting Jing Rui?)

(Meanwhile, the Princess Supreme tries to visit Ni Huang but Ni Huang is away for the day. So much for that storyline for the moment.)

Back at the Snow Cottage, Chang Su tries to pour Jing more tea while explaining his plan, but Jing is stone-cold not having it–neither the tea, nor this conversation in general. I hate how distrustful he is, but it makes total sense from his point of view. Especially since he was connected to the Event™ somehow 12 yrs ago, if not politically then emotionally. Small wonder that he’s so distrustful and defensive! His continuing bad relationship with the Emperor has to stem from then, because he still believes that the people implicated were innocent. Ni Huang also thinks this, seemingly, but she’s more subtle about it so I guess she got a free pass. Jing comes across as a man who has grown accustomed to being always lonely and unable to trust anyone, let alone grow close to anyone, and it’s horrible even though I believe that the way he has frozen up is what has kept him alive this long, I, Claudius style–if the Crown Prince and Prince Yu thought him a threat, they’d surely have taken him out by now because he is not protected by the Emperor’s good opinion–or, well, by anything, come to think of it. Furthermore, his own father could easily interpret any semblance of ambition as treasonous? Because of his apparent sympathy to the people who died a dozen years earlier, it would be a very small logical leap for the already disapproving Emperor to make. His position in both the kingdom and his own family is terribly vulnerable and I can’t blame him for having adapted the way he has. But I don’t want him to be that way??? I want him to be happy. Gah. WHY CANT THE GOOD PEOPLE IN THIS SHOW JUST BE HAPPY.

(Sidenote: I wonder if he has any sort of subconscious recognition of Lin Shu like how Ni Huang has, but if it’s affecting him in an opposite way–making him even MORE guarded and hostile, instead of instinctively trusting this stranger. Based off the music cues and the acting, Lin Shu and Jing definitely have a Past. I’m eager to find out what that Past is, but also–I’m very scared. The more these two interact the worse I’m going to feel watching it, probably.)

Chang Su tells him he wants to support him simply because political success while backing such a hopeless candidate for the throne will make him, Chang Su, look even more impressive than he would if he worked with one of the other two Princes. Jing seems to believe that this selfish, ugly motive is the truth, which is good for Lin Shu’s goals and secret identity, but also–ughhhhhh. Jing also comments on how he cannot understand how people like Chang Su, who are obsessed with political manipulation and power grabs, think. Again–this is the WORST, because Lin Shu CLEARLY understands Jing really well. So presumably Jing would similarly understand Lin Shu if he knew who he was. But he doesn’t, so. Shu just keeps impaling himself on the sword of Jing’s scorn to coax the stubbornly righteous prince into working with him.

(Sidenote: Jing has THE most beautiful eyebrows. They’re so impressive. Truly worthy of gracing an Emperor. Crown Prince’s sad ‘stache shouldn’t stand a chance.)

Finally, Chang Su asks Jing plainly if he WANTS either of the other princes to take the throne. Jing is visibly upset by this and says essentially that if Chang Su is as great a strategist as everyone says, then he should know the answer to that already. Chang Su smiles and says of course he does: he IS the Divine Talent, after all. I still am amused that he even has that name for himself? But it seems to be well-earned, so go ahead and call yourself whatever you like, Chang Su. Does this mean we can say he actually has four names? Good grief.

Jing gets VERY intense and says that there’s no hope of the throne for himself, but he will do ANYTHING if the Divine Talent can prevent those other two from taking the throne. (Actually, hilariously, the subtitles on dramafever have him say he would “pay whatever prince it takes” but I’m assuming he’s actually meaning he’d pay any price, metaphorically speaking, not that he’d bribe any prince. Because that would kinda go against his whole character as established up to this point, so.)

Chang Su tells Jing that Ting Sheng’s freedom will be his first gift to him. If Jing accepts that gift, then they will be partners in this play for power. Jing is clearly conflicted over this, and soothes his uneasy conscience by telling Chang Su plainly that he does not like sneaky, manipulative people like this, so even if Chang Su does help him to the throne, Chang Su isn’t guaranteed any kind of fame or reward. Chang Su–who, again, looked ever so slightly hurt by Jing’s appraisal of his character–says that’s fine; there is time enough for negotiating rewards later. What really matters to him is how Jing’s temperament is different from the other two Princes’.

(Also, the music, you guys. THE MUSIC. WHY IS THE OST NOT ON ITUNES.)

We’ve never met, Jing tells him coldly. How could you know what my temperament is like? Oh, Prince Jing. I have only known you as long as the fake Mei Chang Su has, and even I know what your temperament is like. Also, did Shu slip in saying what he did, or was it planned? It felt spontaneous. He backs off the statement a little, changing tack and instead reminding Jing that if he doesn’t want the other two princes as Emperor, then Jing is the only other possible successor; no other prince is eligible. The scene ends there, but–I think Chang Su has got him. I think Jing is the type that he won’t be able to get those plainly presented facts out of his head, and he’ll talk himself into actually going for the throne just so he can stop his terrible brother’s. I don’t think Chang Su has to push him anymore, he just needed to plant that seed. I’m so excited.

Cut to Marquis Xie, who is apparently having his wife followed??? His wife, who he drugged and raped decades ago???? He can NOT get any worse, what a disgusting slug of a man. Unfortunately he seems like he’s also very clever. Unfortunate for Lin Shu’s scheming, that is; it’s very fortunate for the story because watching Shu work his magic wouldn’t be anywhere NEAR as compelling or as satisfying if he was just given a bunch of straw men opponents to knock down. Major kudos to the show (and, I’m assuming, the novel) for making basically everyone intelligent. A lot of times stories with brilliant protagonists just write everyone else as stupid so that the protagonist just seems smart; making EVERYONE smart is way harder to write, but the payoff is HUGE. Yes, Mei Chang Su does make some Sherlock-Holmes-esque leaps of logic sometimes that don’t NECESSARILY have to lead to what he concludes, but that being said it’s usually pretty solidly done, plus he has tripped up a couple times anyway, so he isn’t always right. I can live with a handful of convenient deductions when the narrative and emotional payoff is this good.

Anyway, back to what I was saying: Marquis Gross is having people follow his wife. He knows that she tried to visit Ni Huang and that she was not successful. I’m curious about WHY he is spying on her, though. Is he just a jealous husband? Or does he have spies tailing other people, too? I would have thought he’d have had Mei Chang Su followed by now, if that were the case.

Back at the Snow Cottage, Meng is peering at Ting Sheng while the boy sleeps. It’s not as creepy as it sounds. Also, I half expected Meng to accidentally drip candle wax on the kid’s face and wake him up, lolll. He nods at Chang Su like he’s confirming something, and once they are back at Chang Su’s tea table–an already iconic location in this show, tbh–he says something about are you sure that slave kid is Prince Qi’s son? And instantly I’m like ohhhhhhh, wait. Wait. Is Prince Qi the supposed leader of the fake rebellion, the dead grandson the old grandma Empress was crying about earlier?? The oldest prince????? Because of COURSE Jing would care about this boy, if so. But the Emperor can have no idea, I would think? Otherwise this boy would be dead, I’m prettttttttty certain.

Lin Shu lays all this out, and Meng admits the boy looks like the dead prince a lot. He then brightens and says, well, at least this shows the gods have a conscience! The look on Lin Shu’s face when Meng says that–somehow, I reeeeeeally doubt he feels the same, lol. Again, Meng asks what happened 12 years ago and how Lin Shu survived, what horrors has he had to go through, to be here alive but apparently 100% transformed? Once again, Shu sidesteps this question. Once again, I am incredibly frustrated. He says the only thing about his survival that matters is that he will not let this life he’s managed to cling to go to waste.

Then we cut to Ni Huang sitting in what I assume is her manor? Her armor and campaign map are on display in the background anyway, nice touch. She’s reading something. Her brother comes in and asks about the children’s chances against Baili Qi (oh yeah, almost forgot about him after that Jing-Shu talk scene) and Ni Huang doesn’t seem like she was that impressed. Her brother is instantly upset and starts to march over to Chang Su’s house in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT (I love this brash kid) but Ni Huang sharply forbids him. She reminds him, too, that just because the kids might not defeat Baili Qi doesn’t mean SHE can’t. I totally believe Ni Huang could take him, because I want to believe in her. She’s amazing.

Back to the Snow Cottage, Meng is aghast at the notion of Jing vying for the throne. He’s definitely worried that this plan will get Jing killed. Heck, IM worried about the same thing! But Lin Shu has an answer–a terrible, terrifying, heartbreaking answer:

Doesn’t he still have me? Leave all those despicable and ruthless tactics to me. If we are to overthrow those evil villains, the innocent are bound to be hurt. At times, we might even have to be ruthless to them. If Prince Jing can’t bear to inflict such pain, I will.

There is a LOT to unpack from this little speech (once I stop sniffling and blink these drafted tears from my eyes). Firstly! Lin Shu knows how Jing is limited by his morals and principles AND HE DOES NOT WANT TO CHANGE THAT. He is not setting out to make Jing into a more ruthless person; he needs Jing to stay, well, Jing, if he is going to succeed in putting a Good Emperor on the throne. Secondly!! STAY AWAY FROM JING RUI AND YU JIN. It seems my instincts that Mei Chang Su somehow befriended Jing Rui for ulterior motives is were correct, ughhhhh. Thirdly!!! This speech comes RIGHT on the heels of his previous statement that never mind what horrific suffering he has endured; the important thing is that he is alive and thus he must not waste his life. This plan of his seems more and more like a sacrificial suicide of both body and soul; he knows he doesn’t have long to live (according to his conversation in episode 1), and so he risks what little time he has left by going back to the capitol and exerting himself far beyond what I imagine is safe, both mentally and physically. Not only that, but he knows good, upright Jing would never stoop to the underhanded machinations necessary to win the throne on his own, so here comes Lin Shu willing to sacrifice his own sense of righteousness to keep Jing Good as well as to make him win. We’ve had enough clues now that I really, really, REALLY don’t think this scheming and manipulating and cold calculatory nature is something that is actually natural to our sickly avenger. It is simply that in his mind the end goal justifies any means, ANY AT ALL, and that includes not only hurting innocents, but also hurting himself. Before Lin Shu throws any innocent or good person to the wolves for the sake of Jing’s success, he is throwing his own self away. Before his body perishes, he is already attempting this suicide of self: now that he has his life, he has to make sure it is not wasted. He exists only to get his vengeance and to eradicate the corruption in his family and the government that essentially cost him his life all those years ago, and this means he exists only to use himself up as a sacrifice to ensure Jing wins this harrowing political game. Meng has commented repeatedly on how this Lin Shu is physically changed. He is trying to hold to an equally drastic mental change. In light of this revelation, all of his scenes with Ni Huang, who is subconsciously drawn to the Lin Shu that’s still in there, are made approximately 500% more painful. UGHHHH.

I’m still not over this scene; I might never be over this scene; but I have to move on, so now we cut to the Princess, Jing Rui’s mom. She tells her maids to cover for her and then makes a spectacularly conspicuous escape from her rooms, heading to the cottage where Mei Chang Su is staying. Seriously, she is still in her fine silks, she’s carrying a lantern larger than her head; all she did was cover her hair with a lovely hood. I don’t know where her husband’s spies are right now? But they should be fired.

But somehow she sneaks successfully to Chang Su’s door. He looks surprised, but lets her in for a chat after Meng stealths away. She’s come to tell him about the plot she was told about to drug Ni Huang. He asks can’t she put a stop to this without his help? This poor woman looks decidedly bitter as she tells him that her high rank as Princess Supreme really isn’t much use. She can’t do anything herself for fear that her husband and children will be implicated, and she doesn’t have anyone to accuse anyway. Chang Su assures her he will help. I really like this woman; I don’t have her name down yet. Li Yang? Something like that. She’s so pretty and her voice is so distinct, and I feel so badly for her. And how brave she is to take this risk in the hopes of saving Ni Huang from what happened to her!

But uh-oh, there’s trouble: the Marquis is on his way to his wife’s empty room. The Princess Supreme’s maids panic, until this utterly fantastic old maid (or governess, of somesuch? An old servant who knows how to play people just as well as Mei Chang Su, anyway) takes the situation in hand. She tells the Marquis his wife doesn’t want visitors. When he protests that but it’s him, though! She responds with oh, his wife ESPECIALLY doesn’t want to see him. Something happened with grandmother Empress today and she saw a room in the palace that reminded her of something that happened a long time ago, soooo …

This scene was brilliant. He backs down SO fast–and almost looks ashamed??? Too little, too late, you horrid man. I have no sympathy for him at all. But as a result of his guilty response (which includes him exhorting the old woman to make sure his wife is well-cared for and then him walking away comically FAST) the Princess Supreme’s late-night visit remains a secret, and she herself remains safe. Or as safe as she can be while living under that villain’s roof. Take out the Marquis, Lin Shu, do it, do it now!!

Chang Su walks the Princess Supreme out of his house to be polite, looking very calm, but the instant she’s gone his smile drops and he runs–or the closest we’ve ever seen him run, lolllll this poor invalid man–back into his cottage. Meng comes out of whatever cupboard he was hiding in (hey–where was Fei Liu this whole time? I just realized he was absent) and is like who could possibly want to drug Ni Huang???? Lin Shu, very deep in thought, says it has to be either the Empress or the favored Consort, the Crown Prince’s mother. And he says they won’t know which it is until one of them summons Ni Huang to the palace.

Aaaaand, end episode! Hoo boy, a LOT happened in this one, and again–it was all really important! Except for the boys training, I mean it’s important that they ARE training but those were the only scenes I felt like I didn’t have to pay attention to reaaaaal closely. Jing moves further into the foreground of the action in a big way, and we FINALLY get inside Lin Shu’s head a little as he shares at least a major part of what his endgame is. The stakes are sky high, everyone, and I worry that he’s not going to be able to handle what must be an immense amount of stress that will only worsen as things progress. He’s already having a hard time around Ni Huang, and he hasn’t been in court very long. Also, this cliffhanger is the most intense one yet, because it involves Ni Huang’s safety. I agree with the Princess Supreme that Ni Huang is clever enough to keep herself safe once she’s tipped off, so I hope Chang Su really can warn her at the palace fight! Too bad she can’t just punch the Empress or the Consort in the face, or something. That would be satisfying.

Next up: Episode 5! Hopefully I can get the post written and posted before my plane flight on Sunday. Also, I have a dance competition on Saturday, so really I would have to finish episode 5’s post by Friday to be able to post it before sometime late Sunday … I will try, but I can’t promise for sure.

Also! Sunday marks the beginning of my 10-day tour of Okinawa, which means my updates here will largely rely upon when I can find wifi. Adjust your expectations accordingly and just be prepared for my replies to comments and asks to be less prompt for a few days. And thanks again, guys, for making this viewing experience such a fun one, despite me putting off watching the show for about two years now? I only started writing these episode reactions/recaps for a couple individuals who specifically asked to know my thoughts, and I never expected there would be more of you out there who would be reading along, too, considering the show ended so long ago! Being able to chat with you all is really enhancing my first-time viewing experience, so thanks for that ^_^

[scoutshonor56]

The Uninvited Guest

Have you ever had an uninvited guest?  You know, the one who promises to help around the house, get along with the wife and kids, stay in the background, kick in some money for food and bills, just until he finds a job and moves out in a timely fashion…

 …and then does none of the above?  Now, 8 months later, the wife is one more “incident” away from filing for divorce, your kids are hardly ever home, and the funds are getting so lean you’re pulling extra hours at work to compensate (and avoid homelife) and even brown-bagging it for lunch.  I know some countries that probably feel that way - it certainly reminds me of our relationship with the Middle East.

 As I watched American troops withdrawing from Syria last week, being pelted with rocks and potatoes, angry mobs of Kurds shaking their fists and holding up signs, I had nothing but shame for my country; shame and anger.  Yup, shocking even those in his own party and members of his cabinet advisors, our reality-challenged Moron in Chief announced that he was bailing on strategic ally, the Ukraine, in his fairy tale effort to spin his own story and “Bring our troops home!”  

 Oh BOY, that phrase has such a positive ring to it! It smells of mission accomplished, implying some sort of victory! Tears and hugs, excited dogs, welcome home parties, and a return to mom’s Sunday beef stew and apple pie with the family!

 Whooo-WEE did that one push the bullshit meter needle into the red; all we’re doing is moving the tokens around the board, and not very far at that.  They are already being re-deployed two steps over, primarily back to Iraq.  This occupation - let’s call it what it is - has become a marathon game of insanity and blood, where there is no end and everybody loses.  It’s an open scrum played on a dangerous field of rock and sand with no rules, no boundaries, and goal posts that were torn down long ago - just make shit up as you go along.

 I know it’s been a long time, so it’s understandably easy to forget, but the invasion of Afghanistan began on October 7, 2001, and soon expanded into Iraq on March 19, 2003.  Meaning in two short years, we will have reached the twenty-year mark, the longest war by far in America’s relatively short history. There are teenagers today who have known nothing but this occupational war.  It has literally become part of our national fabric, background static in our everyday lives; and like an ever-present mild tinnitus ring in your ear, you soon learn to live with it, tune it out.  Put a WE SUPPORT OUR TROOPS bumper sticker on your car and carry on with your day, feeling secure that you’ve done your part.  

 It’s filler for the media when they run short of something more “interesting” to prattle on about, something more eye-grabbing!  This war is sooo old news – it has no cute, fuzzy animals doing funny things, not even any chesty cleavage for God’s sake!  And where are the celebrities, the Hollywood scandals!?  Oh never mind, switch the channel to “America’s Got Talent”, or “Dancing With the Stars”, or “The Voice”…

 Again I ask myself, why is it that America, in all it’s nationalistic hubris and arrogance, simply can’t imagine the horror and hatred generated by military occupation of one’s own country?  What if it was us that had M2 Bradley fighting vehicles and Humvees patrolling our streets, troops banging down our doors, searching our homes, families rounded up in our streets and being harshly interrogated in a language we don’t even understand.  The ever-present “accidental” shootings and beatings, tempers flaring, hospitals, social events, and schools bombed, all justified with the flippant term “collateral damage” - OOPS!  

 Proud cities laid in ruin, jobs lost, and forced mass migrations pushing you here, there, and then back again as the bloody conflict moves from place to place, country to country.

 And I might add this is something we’ve had a lot of practice at over the last century; this is far from the first time we have flexed our misguided muscle in a world that we continue to see through our myopic American eyes.  “Surely everyone shares and envies our values and culture, right?”  Granted, there may have been a time not long ago when this was true, and the premise still holds some validity today, but no ride lasts forever, and this is a new century with a new game that is already seeing a lot of new players.  It’s time this country and its people came to grips with the reality that as of 2019, we comprise 4.27% of the world’s global population.    

Many might say, “Well yes, but we’re liberators, not aggressors…”

 To which I would say, let’s hold off on the flag waving until such results are achieved – until then, and after almost 20 years, the distinction to me appears rather blurry.  Or more to the point, let that call be made by the hapless bystanders and victims caught in the middle; let’s ask them if all the sorrow and rage is/was worth it.  Then let’s be honest and open with the American people and tally up our cost, and then put it on the scales of justification:

 According to a study at the Watson Institute at Brown University, the combined cost of this war in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq so far is just shy of, and soon approaching, 6 trillion dollars; that’s trillion.  

 According to this same study, there have been an approximate total of 500,000 people killed, and that’s not even including another half million deaths attributed to Syria, a bloody skirmish we joined in 2014.  How much of that can be directly attributed to our involvement?  Certainly debatable I grant you, but you can cut those numbers in half and they still represent a staggering figure.  

 According to Military.com a record total of 321 active duty members of the American military took their own lives just last year - that’s almost an average of one a day.  I’m no psychologist, and I’m sure there are a myriad of complex reasons, but quite frankly I don’t find it that difficult to understand the feeling of hopelessness and absurdity as you contemplate a life that you used to know fading from your day to day reality.  Home?  Home will never be the same for you, especially if you are one of the maimed and scarred…

 Maybe I’m being idealistic or naïve, or reading too much “fake news”, or simply not clear on how we keep score in such endeavors, but I’m not seeing much of anything on the plus column here yet…  

 Meanwhile, let’s imagine a parallel universe where America embraces a much more effective and sane method to “win the hearts and minds” of countries in turmoil, who are tipping on the brink of political and social chaos. What if we took a tiny chunk of those trillions of dollars, let’s say 5 or 10 billion, and built schools to educate, libraries, and hospitals.  Sent over professional and knowledgeable advisors instead of soldiers to help with a country’s medical needs, sustainable farming techniques, and developing new industries to generate a stable economy.  How do you think the rest of the world would judge us then?  How many nations would not only become willing allies, but maybe even emulate this humanitarian effort that recognizes we are all people sharing the same planet.

 Now for the bonus feature that enhances life here at home – we could utilize a couple of those trillions of dollars to rebuilt and modernize our roads and bridges, our water management systems, airports, and mass transit infrastructure.  I can’t tell you how many documentaries I’ve watched where American engineers grade all of these areas as antiquated and sorely in need of repair or replacement.  Did you know nearly 85% of our bridges were built before 1970?  Major airports around the world put ours to shame.  As our climate rapidly changes, flood management has now become a major concern here in America.  We could greatly expand and improve renewable energy, making it more cost efficient and readily available.  

 Improve our schools and pay our teachers a competitive wage.  Why would any country not treat the education of its citizenry as a top priority? Schools are the very soil in which we carefully nurture the human seeds of a globally successful and competitive society, critical today more than ever.  According to an international study done by the Pew Research Center in 2015, our educational system rates middle of the pack, or worse – how do you think that bodes for our future in a rapidly changing and developing world? 

And we would still have plenty left over to maintain a robust Defense Dept. 

 Instead, we continue to feed an insatiable Defense budget.  A gluttonous monster that holds sway over our politicians and lobbyists. Last year alone we spent more than the next seven countries combined, and yes, that includes China and Russia. Our military budget for 2020?  $738 billion, and it goes up every year.  

 While we now have a record breaking deficit of over 1 trillion dollars, military spending eats over half of our discretionary budget annually.  Why do we continue this madness of “might makes right”?  Pursuing peace through aggression and intimidation, carrying the biggest club?  According to The Wall St. Journal, America has more than 400 military bases around the world, located on every continent but Antarctica. As of this year we have an inventory of over 6,000 nuclear warheads – now that’s what a call a redundant backup…

 This is exactly the madness that retired five-star general and former president Dwight Eisenhower warned about in his farewell speech at the White House on Jan. 17, 1961. He called it “the military-industrial complex”, referring to the growing and dangerous union of our defense contractors and the armed forces.

 His successor to the highest office in the land, John F. Kennedy, once said:

"And we must face the fact that the United States is neither omnipotent or omniscient - that we are only six percent of the world's population - that we cannot impose our will upon the other ninety-four percent of mankind - that we cannot right every wrong or reverse each adversity - and that therefore there cannot be an American solution to every world problem."  

 Just maybe it’s time to try a little harder at getting along; to lead by example, instead of might.  America first?  Great, I’m all for it - let’s start in our own backyard, because it’s a mess.

[gigiree]

Unlucky Circumstance

It’s certainly a case of Murphy’s Law. It’s certainly and expectedly his bad luck that had caused this.

Or rather he’d blame this entirely on that if Ladybug was anywhere in sight. Beyond all the chaos of screaming teenagers and a city reduced to canoodling, love struck citizens, there’s no sight of red and black.

There’d hardly been enough time to transform before the akuma, aptly named Lovestruck, had broken through the school’s decidedly poor security system. Chat Noir was left with little recourse but to fend him off and corral as many of his unaffected classmates as he could into a safe space.

He leaves Kim behind. It’s too late for the boy. He’s already sobbing into his hands and crying about his one sided love for Alix.

(She’s torn between amusement and something bordering on embarrassment as she runs out the door.)

“Hey, Lovestruck! Your type of love isn’t real! We don’t want it!” Someone shouts behind the screaming/swooning mass of students.

And then he sees her. Awkward, cute, stupidly brave Marinette trying to distract Lovestruck who flies above them on his gilded cloud.

He’s already lobbed a handful of that almost pretty rose gold dust. She tries to dodge, but the dust is everywhere and falls over her in a glittering shower of horror, and Chat is too late.

A resounding NOOOO echoes across the courtyard. Faster than he can move, Alya Cesaire is already in front of Marinette. Her trembling hands are covering Marinette’s eyes.

Alya gives Chat Noir a pleading look, and he jumps into action. He is surprised at how much bitterness and fear has latched onto his chest when the thought of poor, sweet Marinette falling for a random stranger crosses his mind.

It drives him faster. Drives him harder. Makes his baton spin until it seems like a solid flat circle heading towards Lovestruck. It’s fast enough to dissipate any dust thrown his way.

The akuma seems to know that this opponent is too fierce, and while Hawkmoth’s commands echo strongly in his hazy thoughts, the call of love tugs at him. Tells him that Paris is a city of love and lights and that there’s plenty more to spread.

He and his cloud disappear into the blue sky with a whirl of glitter.

Chat Noir grits his teeth and bites back a scream of frustration, his fingers shaking with repressed anger as dials Ladybug again.

There’s no answer, and before the terror can freeze him into stone, he decides to help everyone else.

The police that surround the area have luckily been kept sane and loveless inside their cruisers. They help him round up the lovestruck students and send home the ones not affected. (a huge part of which were students that were in relationships).

And there’s only one question left. Where is Ladybug? —

Marinette, who seems to be the closest civilian friend Ladybug has, looks understandably frustrated. Alya has deftly tied a thin scarf around her friend’s head so that she can’t see and fall in love with someone.

Chat is exhausted and between the inquiries as to where so and so was and whether Adrien was safe or not, he feels stretched thin.

Not to mention, Lovestruck would return for his Miraculous.

And so he asks Marinette for help in finding Ladybug. His worry that she might be among those affected eats away at him…and to give himself credit…it’s mostly the worry that brings the bile to his throat, not jealousy.

“I’m sure…I’m so sorry, I’m sure she’d be here if she could. Something probably happened. I’m going to try and get home to contact her.” Marinette says, her voice cracking and a few tears of frustration dampening the red silk wrapped over her eyes.

Alya miserably pats her back, her glasses tucked into her shirt pocket so that she’s squinting at nothing in particular.

Chat Noir’s scowl softens, and he feels some of the tension leach away to be replaced with exhaustion.

He rubs his forehead in frustration, before answering.

“Hey… you don’t have to be sorry. It’s not your fault and I’m sure she has a good excuse…she’s never let m-…let us down before. We’ll just to have wait for her in a safe place.”

Alya perks up at that, her mouth twisting in a frown of discontent as she contemplates a course of action. Her arms are still wound protectively around Marinette as they sit on a bench in the empty courtyard.

“Can you please take Marinette home? I would if I could, but right now, I can’t see anything without my glasses and I’d rather keep it that way until the akuma is gone. I can’t protect her like this.” She says with a look of equal desperation, her frustration synergizing with Marinette’s as they both slump against each other in defeat.

(I can’t protect you like this either, Marinette thinks in response.)

“You can…you can hide in my room until Ladybug shows up.” Marinette offers him, her mind rapidly concocting a reasonable excuse for tonight when she would have to disappear for a few minutes and reappear as a blindfolded Ladybug.

Chat hesitates at first, looking at the tops of the buildings wistfully…as if any second Ladybug would appear to get them all out of this mess. But it’s wishful thinking, and for once he’s not leaping before thinking.

“Okay, Princess. I’ll take you home and we’ll make a game plan from there.”

And part of his tension is relieved when he sees Nino, without glasses, carefully feeling his way into the courtyard, eyes squinting so hard, they almost look completely shut.

“I’ll be fine then! It’ll be the blind leading the blind, but Nino and I can help each other get home.” Alya says decidedly, already dusting off her pants and standing up.

She gives Marinette a farewell hug, pats Chat Noir on the shoulder…or rather she means to, but she just ends up awkwardly slapping the side of his head and then she’s making her way towards a stumbling Nino.

Marinette looks a bit panic stricken, with her brows furrowed and her mouth working to say something.

Chat Noir patiently waits for her to speak as he hoists her up and drapes her arm over his shoulder, so that he can guide her over the overturned waste baskets and emptied backpacks.

“Is…where is Adrien? Is he okay?” she blurts out, her mouth set into a grimace.

It’s the sixth time he’s heard the question today. But for some reason, it doesn’t give him that same prickle of annoyance. Not that her inquiry had been any different than the others, but there’s something about it coupled with her vulnerability right now.

She’s asking about him even as she’s struggling to walk, even as she’s blinded for the moment.

And once again, there’s that soft inkling of comfort that sets his heart fluttering when he contemplates their burgeoning friendship.

“He’s fine. I saw him get away into his chauffeur’s car during the evacuation.” He lies a little guiltily, as he leads her through a main street.

It’s uncharacteristically empty, most of the citizens already safely ensconced into their homes or offices.

He’s careful, constantly looking over their heads and tucking her into corners so that they’re not easily spotted in the dimming daylight.

There’s one breathless moment. One stupidly wasteful moment where a trashcan had clattered and he’d panicked.He’d whirled her into the alcove of an older building, a little archway decorated with a giant planter.

Hardly any space for the two of them, hardly enough space between the two of them. His chest pressed against hers, his arms vice like and strained around her taut shoulders.

She smells of peonies, some of her hair drifts up to tickle his nose. But he can’t be distracted.

There’s a strength to her that any other day would have made him grin in appreciation. She accepts his help with a graciousness that’s laced with indignation.

But right now, their nerves are strung too high. There’s a dependency she’s not used to. And here he is, earnestly trying to get her home.

There’s many things she loves about her cat, and while they’re not enough to make her fall in love, they’re enough to make her love him.

She looks up at him, first in anxiousness and then, her expression softens into a tender smile.

When he finally relaxes and realizes the noise had come from a pouncing alley cat, she thanks him.

“It’s uh…it’s my duty as a hero…but also, I really like saving pretty princesses. It’s like in the old fairytales my mom used to…” He trails off, and although she can’t see anything beyond the sliver of light at the edge of the scarf, she senses the strain in his form, the hurt that seems to pervade him.

“Umm…never mind. I’m saying stupid things again.” He finally says, and she looks like she wants to say more, but he’s relieved when she doesn’t.

They finally make it to the bakery. The delicate glass doors are nearly shattered with the force of the Dupain-Cheng’s worry as they burst out to pull both Marinette and him inside the safety of their home.

Mdme Dupain-Cheng is smoothing down her daughter’s hair, nearly tearful as she traces the folds of the silk scarf still wound around Marinette’s head.

He feels a little awkward. A lot out of place.

But then he’s whirled into a brief dance of embraces and grateful thank you’s. He’s plied with food and baked goods, and he’s reminded sharply that he had forgotten to eat breakfast and now it was almost 6 pm.

The akuma is still at large. Ladybug is still missing. The chaos of the outside world blares from the television and while guilt eats away at him as fast as he eats away at the grilled beef, practicality wins out as Marinette echoes his reasoning.

They sit now in her bedroom, a pile of cookies and cafe au lait set on a tray on her worktable.

She’s nervously nibbling at the edges of a cookie. He’s already on his third.

He thanks the skies that she can’t see the mess he is right now. Hair messy and eyes wide and scared. Crumbs trailing down his pretty suit as they contemplate what to do next.

“I just…this is terrible…but you can’t fix them by yourself. It’s too much. I’m so sorry. I promise we’ll find her soon.” Marinette tells him with a mystifying certainty.

He can’t see her eyes beyond the red silk, but he’s sure their burning with that familiar quiet strength of hers.

He wants to ask her how she knows for sure, but she’s already rambling off into a tangent about how the akuma’s powers work. Her worry making her tongue loose in a way that’s so typically her, it makes his anxiety well up into a nervous chuckle.

She breaks off, listing her head in his direction, trying to get a better grasp of the noise he’s making.

“Are you…are you seriously laughing right now? This is a serious situation.” She chides.

“It is…it’s just…god, I’m so worried about her and I’m stuck in here and you’re blind for now and Alya and Nino had to take off their glasses to protect themselves and this situation is entirely ridiculous.” He threads his hands worried through his hair, and she can hear her divan creak as he tries to stretch out his agitation.

She snorts, a little self deprecatingly as she fiddles with the edge of her pink shirt.

“You’re not…wrong. I’m sorry I’m such a burden…you should’ve just…I mean you could have just tried to find her without me dragging you here.” She says quietly, and he worries that he’s hurt her.

She seems to make herself so much smaller next to him, drawing her knees up to her chest as she leans her head back against the wall. Her hair color shifts in the light, and it looks almost blue in the soft lighting of her room.

His words almost catch in his throat at the familiarity she prompts from him. But he hates seeing her defeated like this.

“You’re not a burden. You’re just a person who got caught up in the trouble and you happen to be the one that Ladybug trusts the most.” He ventures and he flinches when it’s her turn to laugh.

“You’ve got it all wrong. She doesn’t trust me at all. She relies on you entirely, you know that? She really…she really does care about you.”

He’s entirely surprised by the admission. He takes her bitterness for jealousy that he’s closer to Ladybug than she is.

(But that’s not it at all…she simply trusts him so much more than she trusts herself sometimes.)

The silence almost stretches to discomfort, and he tries to fall back on humor to break the tension.

“I’m guessing you’re not at all tempted to take off that scarf and fall for me?” He jokes. The lifting syllable at the end of his question tells her it’s a joke.

“You’re not the person I want to fall for.” Her mouth twists into a puckered expression of distaste, something torn between a smile and a feigned grimace. It’s just a joke.

“Awww, you’re blushing! Maybe I do have a chance!” He crows.

Its just a joke. And somehow it still manages to cause her heart to batter against her throat, and she hides it behind a quick jab at his shoulder.

But unfortunately, Murphy’s Law is still in effect.

See there was a time where Marinette had posters of Adrien tacked all over her wall…and one of those nails was still left behind during her attempt to remove all evidence of her minor crush.

The nail that caught onto the back of scarf. The nail that pulled it away from her eyes as she surged forward to playfully punch Chat Noir.

And for some terrifying, heart racing reason, she can’t close her eyes.

She can’t because he’s simply too beautiful, his wide, unnatural green eyes shimmering underneath the light. Surprise coloring them the same green as sour grapes and leaves in spring.

Then it strikes her…and it strikes him what’s just happened.

She screams and he caterwauls. She’s already put her face in her hands by the time he’s shouted for her to look away.

In his haste, he’s fallen off the divan and is sprawled painfully on the floor.

There’s quiet. A sudden expectation and almost melancholy (but maybe just the tiniest bit glad) acceptance that the person she’s fallen for is Chat Noir.

Yet, there’s no heart racing. No love declarations or sudden outbursts of singing.

She’s still Marinette…embarrassed and scared and hiding.

Confusion…and then silence.

Chat Noir remembers then. Ivan and Mylene, already dusted and clinging onto each other…but they’d looked terrified, not lovey dovey. Ivan had been comforting her.

And more students escaping, a few couples seeming just fine.

It dawns on him that Lovestruck couldn’t make you fall in love with someone you already were in love with.

It makes no sense at all…no sense unless Marinette was hiding feelings for him…him as Chat Noir.

The question is out before he even has time to bite his tongue. He looks at her, practically defeated and curling up against the wall as she hides her face.

“Marinette…do you…do you have feelings for me?”

She snaps up at that, cheeks burning and her beautiful eyes…like bluebells…aflame with indignation.

“NO! I….I love Adrien!”

Again, the words are out before she even has a chance to think. She claps her hands over her mouth, eyes so wide, they swallow the rest of her face up in terror.

Her plan unravels, and beyond the immediacy of her confession, there’s a feeling of relief that accompanies the mortification.

She’s free for now, in spite of all her questions…in spite of the fact that she might be in love with Chat Noir…

But she’ll have to set that aside until the akuma is dealt with.

“I need some…I need some air. Alone.” She says.

Before he has a chance to process her words, before he’s even had a chance to say anything, she’s bolted.

Up the stairs to the roof of her home, and he can’t move…there’s something like ice crawling up his legs…burning and welcome all at the same time because her words keep resounding.

And when he finally has a chance to move, to say something, he’s following her as fast as he can…but he only manages to catch the red flare of magic. The sweet smell of peonies and luck as Ladybug leaps out into the scintillating city with blazing determination.