#even if people dont give a shit I might still do a couple more just because I like doing it

[whitegoldtower]

I have a little treat for youuuuu! (sorry in advance about the couple of mouth sounds. I'm tired and two glasses of red wine deep ok XD)

Here's a little POV situation of Gwalchmai reading part of what he deems a suitable bedtime story to your LDB (or not, they don't have to be the dragonborn!) over some bread and alto wine in front of the fireplace.

His shadow is monstrously large. You know what they say about mer with big shadows...

... Big robes.

[andy-wm]

i'm wondering how your thesis of "idols will come out when they want" fits into your insane shadow analysis attempting to prove jimin and jungkook fucked in the middle of their travel show (amongst other things)? like do you get joy out or trying to drag someone out of a closet they might not be in? or is it something else? just curious! 😀

Hey wdcmaxy

Since you have the guts to use your name I'll respond :)

So, you read my thesis?

*Sips whisky*

Cool. And you read my insane shadow analysis too?

Hmmm... do you come here often?

Let me answer your question then.

I think we both know the shadows analysis isn't really insane - it's based on very basic earth science. Shadows grow longer as the day progresses because of the rotation of the earth on its axis. You sound reasonably literate so i assume you know this already.

I guess your description of my shadow analysis ( I think I'll name my next racehorse 'Shadow Analysis') as insane is an attempt to discredit the idea that a fair bit of time passed while Tae was out of the house? But that was kinda silly on your part. Even children know that shadows change as the day passes.

Nothing insane about it.

He was gone for hours, no debate.

Now let's move on to the fucking part, and when and how idols choose to come out.

This is actually worth discussing.

As flattered as i am that you think my tiny insignificant blog could be a game changer for anyone, let's be real.

How many people, besides yourself, do you think read my blog?

Serious question.

I'm estimating maybe 100. Double that on a good day. Maybe 300 if i write something REALLY profound which doesn't happen often.

I am way less excited about my impact on the world than you are, because I'm a realist.

BUT if by some strange twist of fate my blog came to the attention of someone whose opinion mattered (I'm not counting you, don't worry) do you think they would take it seriously? Do you REALLY imagine a random tumblr post about shadows could make someone believe that an idol was gay if they didn't already believe it?

Here's a great example of how that wouldn't happen:

You, dear reader.

You're my example.

You came here to tell me I'm speaking shit and that I should pull my head in, correct? My insane shadow analysis hasn't changed your beliefs at all. You're here, throwing a tantrum on my page, because you don't agree with what I'm saying, not because you suddenly believe it.

Or ...

Perhaps you suspect it's true and that scares you. Maybe you can't be absolutely sure I'm wrong and that's why you need to yell at me? Could that be it? Time for a bit of self reflection?

Either way, it's not going to make an iota of difference in the grand scheme of things.

We are all just dust motes floating through time and space, my friend. You dont need to worry so much. The universe is unfolding exactly as intended.

However... There are a couple of things we should agree on:

The fact is that the shadows grew long and therefore, time passed. And Tae was out for several hours. Maybe he went out for a bit of afternoon delight himself? Maybe Jimin and Jungkook played Pokemon Go all afternoon, or prayed, or practiced their English, or braided each other's hair.

Regardless of whether they did or didn't fuck, or how many times, or on what surfaces, the time still passed.

And whether I write my blog or not, people will believe what they believe. And they will be gay or they won't be gay.

And even though I never mentioned anything about them fucking in that post, whether you like it or not Jimin and Jungkook might be fucking right now, as you read this.

One last thing...

Please bear in mind, through all of this, that fucking is not the be all and end all of life. Sure its a lot of fun if you do it right but the notion that it's more meaningful than sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, or giving someone your time and energy, is bullshit.

You can have a roots-deep love for someone and never even think of fucking them. Or you can meet someone in a public toilet and have at it, and leave without even knowing their name.

Sex does not equal love. Fucking is not that big of a big deal.

Unless...

Unless you're fucking someone the patriarchy doesn't want you to fuck. Then its a major issue.

Hear me out.

The need to control who we fuck is based a patriarchal need to control material wealth.

To control material wealth, the patriarchy needs to control reproduction (so they can be sure their wealth stays with their bloodline, because wealth is built over many generations) and to do THAT they need to control womens' bodies.... and to do that, of course they need to control who women fuck. And who men fuck too!

Do you know what the ACTUAL issue is with men who like dick? They don't automatically buy into the patriarchal way of life. (where's the solidarity, lads?)

Why don't they?

Because lifelong monogamy and marriage and nuclear families don't matter as much when you're not equating love with sex, and sex with reproduction. When your goal isn't to accumulate wealth and pass it down to your children.

Same thing applies to women who love women. They aren't focused on being demure and pleasing the men in power. They aren't focused on making themselves wife material. They will challenge the status quo and maybe even (shock! horror!) decide not to have children. How the heck do you make sure your money and power stays in the family, how do you build an empire, when the women are perfectly happy having sex with each other and don't want to love, honour and obey??

And whose fault is all this?

Its got to be the damned queers, right? They're making people think there might be other ways to share your life with those you care about! That's why its important to squash down gayness whenever you can, right, wdcmaxy?

Look at them destroying the fabric of society!

If Jimin and Jungkook ARE fucking every chance they get, good for them. I hope they're balls deep and breathless, hitting all those sweet spots for each other having a really good time.

And if they're not fucking, it actually doesn't matter to me because the way they support each other and share their hearts is beautiful. (I do think they are fucking though)

Truthfully, whatever they're doing, as long as they're happy I'm happy.

Can you say the same, wdcmaxy?

Peace.

[mikalame]

On live

you and tom, its like set in 2023, no hate to heidi but you and tom are married you are back up singer for bill in the band 

Tags:@violentnewmarley @oppopotamus

You place your phone down on the coffee table a vase holding it up write as you sip on your tea you just made you glace and some of the questions beings shown on the screen and most of them talking about where tom was you intentionally ignored it until bill asked where he was and when is “lazy bone ass�� would get up little did bill know you and tom where getting into a bit of a heated make out sesh before bill started spamming you say shit like how you two need to come on and how the people need to see ALL of tokio hotel even tho gustav is never on/online.

 “I am here ladys and gentlemen” tom says in a sing-song tone a complete difrent contrast from before when he was groaning about having to do another live. He slides beside you and moves his arm to be around you neck resting his hand on your opposite shoulder he answers a couple questions and gentely sqeezes your shoulder you look at him and his eyes greet your then look down you follow his eyes and see hes looking and his harden crotch (idk what else word to use ) his eyes flick back up to the camera as not to draw attention to the problem he has, you look back at the camera aswell but slowly move you hand closest to him to slowly palm him through his sweats. After as few miniutes you inch your fingers closer to his waist band grabing both his sweats and boxers and try to pull them down tom fakes and streach and lifts his hips a little bit just enough to get his pants down but not enough for the camera to see his goods.

You look at him as a silent way to ask if he was okay with you doing this and he look as ready as anyone could be for this activity his eyes swimming full of lust you grab him and slowly pump him uo and down tom still talking to the other members and gustav and georg kindly joing the live so tom being more quiet is not as noticed. You spread around his pre-cum around his cock and stroke him faster and see toms breathing speeds up and his hand shake a little bit his hand go to the simble for the filters and he swipes giving him new fliters every second you giggle at some of the funny ones so you didnt look too distracted by what you were doing with your hands. 

You had been doing this for a while now you two had almost been caught when bill had to repeat to tom a question, when tom did answer the first noise he had made was a groan before quickly saying what bill wanted to hear “what was that groan from tom aye” georg raising and eyebrow with a questioning look in his eyes “oh just feeing a bit ill georg no need to get worryed over little ole me” tom says ending the sentence with a chuckle hiding his groan as his cock throbs more frequently sending a message that he was close to cumming . He leans forward and places his hand over his mouth to muffle the groans that are getting louder you stroke harder and tighter going faster you hear a loud groan come from tom and you down to see cum leaking out and lading on the sides of the table and on his sweats you look at toms face and see his eyebrows knitted together and jaw clenched tightly. You look at the screen sending a look off pity to them for tom “___ is tom algs” bill asked “yeah, i think he really not feeling well so sorry that we have to end the live on our part, i feel like tom wouldnt be to happy to see edits of his vomiting over the camera” you chuckle before exiting the live 

“Jesus christ, how did we pull that off” tom says panting between breaths trying ti even out his breathing “yeah ik i think georg might of caught on thank god he didnt say anything else tho” you giggle at toms exspression “we should do that again” you say thinking bout it in your “yeah, sure your the one that gonna cum tho i dont think i can do that again” tom sighs with a smile on his lips. 

[biggie-chcese]

ranking rain code lets plays on how much i enjoy/would recommend them

hi did you know i am incredibly autistic about this game and have watched, in full, several lets plays of it? and im still going? haha yeah im normal. anyway here goes... all lets plays ive watched from best to worst:

#1 Highest recommendation: JustOneGamr. ESPECIALLY for people who are going in blind. im so serious. it's the best way to experience as much of the game as possible without playing it yourself. They go through all of the content, side quests, gumshoe gabs, profiles, DLC, and even most of the flavor text. it's also a no commentary run, which i personally see as a massive boon because they aren't influencing your opinions of the game

#2: Pixel Partners. they've got real good vibes and they actually do the side quests. it's also fun to listen to their theories and see their reactions. they're one of the few who dont spend their time complaining and give more valid constructive criticisms than others. they also have the funniest reaction to the chapter 5 reveal

#3: JohnAwesome. his humor sometimes isn't particularly for me but boy is his lets play enjoyable. also has lots of positive vibes and is generally pretty entertaining. i dont remember if he does side quests but im pretty sure he does. he will easily make chapter 4 even more gut wrenching thanks to a very specific kind of incompetence on his part, which in hindsight is really funny

#4: NyanCave. they're pretty fun and also have great vibes! i like their chemistry a lot. they have some pretty good theories and good jokes, but they will spend a lot of time on responding to chat donations. this is fine like get that bag kings but if you're impatient like me it might get annoying after a while lol. it's especially bad in chapter 5, where the tension dies because of their waifu fight donations

#5: NicoB. I was never really a NicoB fan because he's a bit too loud and high energy for me, but his rain code lets play is still pretty good! he seems to have fun playing the game and even has a few good jokes. i think he does the side quests which is a plus but i could be misremembering. i still quote "and now back to yuma crackhead" to this day so there's that

#6: Faz Faz. This another no commentary run but for people who are in a rush. they go through the game as quickly as possible. frankly, i think these kinds of lets plays are not as good as the ones that go through the sidequests, but hey, it's there if you just want the main plot and gumshoe gabs

#7: Save Data. I don't recommend this one to people experiencing rain code for the first time because they will talk over the cutscenes and dialogue and that will get annoying. they also complain quite a bit about the same things over and over which can also get tiresome (im sorry guys i do Not care about graphics as much as you do). however, they're really funny and it's good for a second or third experience of the game. "this city..." is a highly prevalent vocal stim for me thanks to them. they will shit on on the game often though, so if you really love rain code and dont want to hear that, then avoid this one lol. but you do get to see my art at the end of their vids! that's pretty cool!

#8: Rat Attack. i straight up don't recommend this one. it's easily the worst one i've seen and that's sad because i really love their pngtuber avatars. they're not finished with the game yet and that's probably because they spend so much time ranting and yapping about everything else, or just concocting the most baffling theories known to man and spending wayyy too much time on them. you will also hear a lot of unfunny halara gender jokes sorry. sometimes they are funny in other ways but it's honestly not worth it unless you're like me and keep watching out of obsession for the game.

that's all the ones ive watched in full (so far)! here's a couple others i haven't seen in full but have seen small parts of:

Weeby Newz - she's got some fun reactions from what ive seen and is pretty funny too. i have only really watched her play chapters 4 and 5 though, so i cant give a full opinion. i dont care for yakou fathero as a concept though and she seems pretty heavy on that, but if you like that you may enjoy her let's play. i may go back and finish it soon!

CurtStreamy - genuinely very funny from what ive seen though in chapter 5 his whole crew has a pretty fundamental misunderstanding of makoto's character, which can be a little irritating. either way, most of it is great but his live chat sucks. i still need to watch the rest in full to form a full opinion

CrystAAHHL - ohhh she did Not like this game lmao. she is a based makoto enjoyer though. i only watched the highlight reel though i think watching her full streams would just make me tired. i personally dont like watching lets plays if the person playing isnt having any fun

JazzyGuns - unfinished but she is really funny and has good vibes. if you can cope with her probably never finishing the game then go for it

khee chu - im still in the process of watching this one in full but it's fun so far. i will say CHECK OUT KHEE'S MERCH AND SHINIGAMI X JUNKO ART!!! THE ART IS RLY CUTE!!!!

and that's everything! there's other lesser known ones out there but im just one guy i cant watch em all despite how determined i am to do so </3 above all else i want people to get the game but like, yknow, some folks dont got $60 to spend on a game lol. anyway have fun and happy watching!

[drdemonprince]

Re: an anon from November 15th: do you have advice on how become more comfortable with negativity? Because the White Woman Socialization Brain is strong with this one and I've had a couple of friends say it gives me a tone-policing problem

I'm going to depart from my usual gradual tolerance-building exercise approach here (though all that stuff still applies) and give you a more targeted recommendation:

I think you need to find a friend who can be a bit of a shitty little outrageous bitch in how they speak and emote, but who is at their core a wonderful, reliable, and morally stand-up person, and make a special place for them in your life.

The type of person who is not afraid to be disagreeable, who says "terrible!" and launches into a whole long rant about why when you ask them how their day is going and who will show up to your house with groceries when you are sick and start cooking and cleaning all around even when you've (lyingly) said you do not need the help. The type of person who will teach your nervous system that negativity is not bad, that ruining the vibe is sometimes needed, and that we can be good people even while not worrying about making other people feel good.

You can often locate such people in hard-core activist spaces, as the people steadily Doing the Work for years on end are unlikely to be motivated by soft, tender feelings, because those emotions sure don't keep in that line of work. You can also find them in places like AA programs (or SMART Recovery meetings, etc), support groups, queer discussion groups, book clubs, marxist reading groups, church groups, food kitchens, and any other gathering of people that is motivated by a strong ideological commitment or interest in intellectual pursuits but which can be rather dry or unpleasant in its execution of their ideals. you can also just like, throw a stone in places like New York or Boston or Philly and hit three to five people like these. Even as far out as Pittsburgh or Cleveland there is a lot of them.

Now, if you have chronic white woman everybody must be happy all the time syndrome (which really just means i will *make* everybody pretend to be happy or else im going to lose my shit), it can be tempting to fall in with someone who *seems* like a person like this, but who in actuality is a manipulative undermining abuser taking advantage of your tendency to excuse and downplay their many slights and offenses.

You do not want that. You want someone who can accept criticism just as readily as they dish it out. The kind of person who will fire off at the mouth but then go "oh dammit, youre right, i hate it but youre right" the moment you point out a valid flaw in their logic. Someone brash, but with a heart. Someone who can teach you that conflict is inevitable, and needed, and that saying something weird or off-putting is not the end of the world, and that arguing and complaining can actually bring you closer to someone when it is done authentically and from a place of good faith.

to find this person, keep putting yourself in places that align with the type of person you'd like to be, filled with people who are doing things with their lives that you admire. notice your initial reactions to people. who is off putting? is that a fair judgement? who are you afraid of upsetting? who expresses themselves in a way you'd never, ever dare to? most kind of unpleasant people wont be the special Prickly Friend for You, they'll just be kind of annoying people you dont want to be around. but at some point you will notice, hey actually, this person is a little off and irascible, but i notice they always come through for people. they might not be the most elegant in how they express their views, but when i think about it, i think they tend to be right. over time a person like that will prove themselves through their behavior and track record, and as you get more acclimated to their way of communicating, you'll find your voice of disagreement too.

good luck!

[cruyuu]

Heya mel, i kind of noticed something about Sukuna (im re-reading jjk bc i feel like i missed some stuff)

But if yiu look closely, Sukuna went through the 5 stages of grief, and the last stage we see before he has acceptance (which is why he passed on) is depression. Remember how sukuna in one of his flashbacks looked 'bored' with yorozu? That might have been depression.

Yuuji let sukuna heal, and let him grieve. Which hard for those who have trauma, and sukuna has a lot of "imperfect" survivor. Also, he kinda displays symptoms of c-ptsd, npd, and sociopaths aspd. Yuuji was a nessacity for sukuna to heal.

(Hi wanted to add one more thing im the sukuna is an imperfect trauma survivor anon) He is in denial of yuuji. Him being in denial of a lot of things that dont match his views. Denial is a stage of grief, too.

Hi anon!

I don't necessarily agree with the 'five stages of grief' explanation but there are a couple of okay points you're making. I mostly don't agree because I don't recall ever seeing Sukuna grieving or showing remorse in this manga. Even in in the final chapter, he's pretty much "My life could've gone that way or that way. It is what it is." I like that about Sukuna a lot, and I like how despite being hated and probably estranged from people at that time (which is to be expected due to his form), he never really grieved nor wondered why. He instead just turned to himself and lived a good life (by his own standards). He isn't the type to sit around and mope about it, nor complain or cry about his situation. This, ofc, doesn't mean that he doesn't have trauma or that just because he says he isn't hurting, he isn't but rather that he's written to be strong despite all that's happened to him.

Still, "not showing emotions" could very well be because he isn't human but a curse and hence doesn't function like a human being (or has discarded his humanity). We don't really know, after all.

I see Sukuna dragging Yuuji through hell as a good point tho. Yuuji hadn't turned out cold and bitter but still laughs like nothing had happened to him. The same couldn't be said about Sukuna but then again we don't know exactly how he behaved in his teens or what his childhood was like to really say if he was hurt or if he really didn't give a shit even back then.

Still, Yuuji taught Sukuna that everything changes and that even though it does, some things do not which is what 271 showed off perfectly. You still have Sukuna changing a part of himself (embracing what Yuuji told him) but still being the same old sarcastic menace that many, as well as myself, had grew to love.

[drpeppertummy]

current Details on rufus & russell (i still might change my mind on the names but at this point i probably wont) not kink-related just General Shit

ok so first off since Hell exists in whatever universe i have going on i have to give my little rundown on what goes on there

so like it Is an otherworldly plane and people Can go there when they die but its not like Solely Devoted To Afterlife Shit its more like. if someone goes to hell for bein bad or whatever, their soul or whatever has to go there for counseling/rehab/courses/etc to help them get their shit together & hopefully teach them to do better on the next run. & people who arent responsive to that dont get released until they get it together so theyre Stuck There In Hell. & there are a lot of centers for that but its also like just some place. its like "oh im visiting the east coast bc they got good pizza" "oh im visiting hell bc they got good Soul Counselors" like its their Thing. its their Main Export or whatever. like theres only so many places where dead people can actually go to & be universally seen & recognized (as opposed to here where barely anyone can see em). & then they can get reincarnated or whatever

i think its like a stereotype that people from hell work as counselors but also it Is a very common job there. & since its such a common job there & they take it pretty seriously as Their Thing & its a very respected job, most places are really well staffed so they usually have pretty good hours. no eternal shifts or anything. it can be super exhausting tho esp emotionally & sometimes physically. can even be dangerous its not without risk of harm

rufus & russell are both counsellors & theyre really good at that sort of thing bc theyre both like friendly & patient & understanding & warm etc. theyre both real sweet paternal types. they put people at ease. they dont work at the same place tho

theyre both around 500 (equivalent of like 40-50 in human years) & they have a few kids ranging from the human equivalent of maybe 10 at the youngest to early 20s at the oldest. im on the fence about whether the baby currently in rufus' belly is actually theirs or if hes doing like a surrogacy thing for a younger friend. which is something hes done a couple times since he takes it like a champ, although since people in hell vary wildly in shape, size, etc (not everybody can pass for human. some of them are like jersey devil-type shit. some of them are 10 feet tall. some of them are like giant lobsters. anything is possible) & it isnt always determined solely by genes sometimes it can be rough on him bc Hes Just A Little Guy

russell (tall one) is a big softie & he lovess being mushy romantic & dancing in the kitchen & all that stuff. i think he has kind of a grandmacore thing goin on he loves cute knickknacks & decorative pillows & shit. they both love cooking & taking care of each other & taking care of their friends & neighbors & loved ones. theyre always baking cookies for people & shit. theyre the go-to if someone needs a babysitter. their kids friends always feel safe at their house. theyre real involved with school activities. theyre just all around Good Loving Dads

also one of russells nicknames for rufus is Fussy bc 1. its short for rufus and 2. Hes Always Fussin Over Shit. & they both purr

[sieglinde-freud]

Can I get you started on the derailment of Duncan and Courtney?

what is this, a total drama vent blog now? but yeah you can :) under cut

i think the derailment of courtney is like five thousand times more annoying than duncan but that might j be bc i dont really like duncan (hes fine in island, kinda boring in action (didnt deserve his win idgaf that shouldve been harold there. yes im still mad lindsay went home instead of him in rock n rule), and the entirety of that mid section of world tour just revolving around him and the stupid love triangle drama is SO annoying. and then he makes final five FOR WHAT??? FOR WHAT???? im sick of his ass. what was i talking about. right) but either way theyre both two very major characters so its just really sad to see them both fall victim to horrible characterization? cuz you start in island right and in general island is a lot more grounded than the other seasons and leans more into the fact that theyre all 2000’s teenage stereotypes so in island theyre just the good ol cliche good girl/bad boy couple its iconic, its cute, WAY more entertaining than gwent (but they get a pass cuz gwen was basically the main character of that season. u go girl. go get that bag AND that boring wet dog man) and its just nice. courtney shows signs of being controlling but for the most part duncan’s attitude gets courtney to loosen up a bit and have fun and courtney made duncan a better person.

and then action happens and then courtney is like. rightfully mad she got screwed out of the season after harold gets her kicked off and no one gaf but its like. you can see where this could go and it doesnt look great. not much happens for duncan except he gets more insufferable bc they didnt give him any friends this season? unlike when he geoff and dj to bounce off of now he just picks fights with harold and the other gaffers which IS funny but. basically action is where the red flags start being put up. their relationship is. fine. like i liked it at the time but knowing where it heads is upsetting. anyways

then u get to world tour and theyre close to their island dynamic again (with the exception of gwen being there…) but then duncan quits first episode which i think was actually a great choice bc of how courtney finally gets to stand on her own as a character without him (i actually really like duncney. but her character was always tied to him in some way yk?) and make her own friends and it was looking great! until i see london and everything goes to shit. dude comes back, cheats on courtney, and then everyone on that god forsaken plane gets involved. first of all, ISLAND DUNCAN WOULD NEVER??? no fucking way. not even action duncan. dude was HOOKED on her crazy ass. AND FOR GWEN?!?! who has never been the same since island but thats a different thing. but they had literally zero romantic chemistry. all they have in common is that theyre both alt kids. NOT EVEN THE SAME KIND OF ALTERNATIVE! just alt. ugh. and then courtney gets sent into a spiral which, is a valid reaction to getting cheated on i do not blame her. and w/ someone you thought was ur friend like i GET IT. and i am on her side. but then her character goes back to ONLY EVER BEING ABOUT DUNCAN except this time its how much she hates him and her character just. pauses! she doesnt go anywhere else from i see london until shes eliminated inn… what was it. chinese fakeout? like shes just a hater who makes zero meaningful relationships aside from getting played by alejandro and shes just. like its just. its not good. and to know that any of this only happened bc the producers forced a duncney break up. girl sit DOWNNN

and then all stars just tramples them even more. since when has duncan ever gave a shit what people think of him? jojo siwa acting ass with this “im a bad boy!1!!!!” act island duncan would never. and then courtney. ohh courtney. she got flushed down a toilet force feeding herself ice cream with bird shit on it. all i gotta say (but also. nerfed bc she literally has an iron stomach in chinese fake out. whatever)

i still love them though. well, i love courtney. duncans alright but still neither of them deserved any of that

[query-quadrant]

Wh⛤t should I we⛤r for my first p⛤le ⛤nnivers⛤ry?

It’s mine ⛤nd my moir⛤ils first p⛤le ⛤nnivers⛤ry this sweep. Obviously I’d LOVE to spoil them rotten, so I got us tickets to ⛤ highly renowned st⛤ge perform⛤nce, ⛤nd ⛤ reserv⛤tion ⛤t ⛤ rest⛤ur⛤nt ⛤fterw⛤rd. ⛤s you c⛤n obviously tell, I know wh⛤t I���m doing, ⛤nd h⛤ve ⛤ll of th⛤t covered. 

The only problem is th⛤t I h⛤ven’t the f⛤intest ide⛤ of wh⛤t to we⛤r. 

I’m ⛤n extremely high cl⛤ss violetblood, ⛤nd I refuse to we⛤r ⛤nything th⛤t isn’t floor-length, but my moir⛤il often comments th⛤t this m⛤kes me ⛤ppe⛤r more cold th⛤n I re⛤lly ⛤m. Unfortun⛤tely most of the ⛤dvice I h⛤ve seen online m⛤inly involves we⛤ring g⛤rish p⛤tterns or intention⛤lly messy clothing. 

Do you h⛤ve ⛤ny ide⛤ how I might m⛤ke myself ⛤ppe⛤r more “w⛤rm” or “⛤ppro⛤ch⛤ble” without h⛤ving to dumb down my f⛤shion sense to the likes of mini⛤ture-putters? 

oh finally something i can talk about yeah ok buckle in this shits gonna be long as hell im not even gonna bother with my gimmick here i just wanna talk about clothes for a second

most trolls are dumb as shit and dont give a fuck about fashion and its not even just everyday clothes i mean youve probably seen the shit some trolls wear to dates vitriol emoji

but if youre looking for actually good inspo i have a friend who put out some shit in eclectoskeleton but also theres been some surprisingly good shit in deadliest designs monthly recently

if youre looking for advice from me specifically though then heres a couple things to think about if you wanna wear fancy pale clothes

i dont normally wear this stuff but i do at least have a working thinkpan and know way more than most idiots plus i have super real degrees in quadrantology so some of its probably good advice

colors: obviously going lighter and softer is classic its called pale feelings the pale quadrant and the holidays pale moon night so why not pale colors obviously duh

most trolls stick to blacks and grays and darker shit at least as the base of their outfits most of the time because theyre boring pieces of garbage and also cause its practical i guess

so bringing out those pale pinks or just lighter violets or whites feels special and its something you can do to soften shit up

its pretty it stands out in a crowd and it sets a mood it says i give a fuck about you and i want people to know

but you dont have to stick with that ive seen trolls get a lot of mileage out of shit like wearing a little of each others colors or you can even try their favorite colors for cute personal shit

design:

obviously you already know about shit like diamond motifs but theres ways to do that without just throwing on an ugly little argyle sweater

diamond shapes in embroidery or beading or in lace can look really fucking cute if you do it right

if you can work in moons and stars thats something pretty and obviously pale but not that stupid looking and btw dont be afraid to throw in a little bit of sparkle too

you said you have to wear floor length shit but thats not a deal breaker i mean shit big clothes are classic for paledates and even though youre not gonna be wearing actual palewear you can take those sorts of ideas and fold them into your shit by going for something flowy

i mean yeah bigass sweaters and scarves are classic but so are things like capes maybe its not always "approachable" but it can still say "i pity you or at least probably give a shit about you"

accessories:

anyway speaking of classically pale shit obviously look into pearls the pink ones even kinda look like little pink moons you get it you know what i mean

diamond shaped jewelry is classic but also cabochon cuts are also good to look into especially if you can get your fronds on any pink or white rocks or anything with a little chatoyancy

other shit i forgot to mention or general shit:  if you want you can do matching shit

it doesnt need to be one of those matching half and half diamond necklaces for wigglers or anything just making sure theyre wearing something with the same metal and decorative rock as you are or at least some of the same colors so you look good together is good enough  i got a little into this by talking about stuff like sparkles and moons and all that but just think about pale nicknames when youre thinking about what to wear "moonlight" "starlight" "moonrise" "moonbeam" "stars" "twilight"

all those things are real and actually pretty things that you can take a lot of inspiration from

even shit like "sugar" or just fucking "diamond" or any of the millions of flowers and random pink or white or sparkly things people use

[that-salty-ghost]

One thing I noticed while rereading your fic from beginning to end... "dont be a dick" in end of chapter 19 and "what a dick" in chapter 28. And the descriptions in 28, like defined arms...FUCKIN' GOGGLES‼️‼️‼️, and salt and pepper hair just like cult leader Vik...or should I say FUCKIN' YN????? IDKKKKKK. Not to mention the pain of losing someone, GRIEVING FOR SOMEONE...and him act all detached towards little Vik....please dont make yn don't lose his viktor and vik lose his yn, idfc(you can do it, you probably will, you better...i will cry and still be reading your shit BUT if you're going to do it, please do it FULLY. I mean what I said absolutely🥹🥹let us cry our asses off together🙊🙉🙈) UHMM...HelloooOoO again! I was the last one to write to you anonymously on tumblr and I just opened an ao3 account just to comment on your fic, I haven't done it yet but anyway.. I'm so caught up in the idiocy of these two idiots that I'm just now realizing these details and... I'm like...like...omfg☠️☠️☠️☠️. the music dedicated to each chapter is just salt and pepper to my meal. This could just be the result of my obsession with this fic, but still I lost my mind over your fic, congratulations! YOU MADE IT🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

(Also forgot to mention in our previous conversation that I fuckin' LOVED Kass, so much.)

‼️A very important foil-embellished footnote below‼️

After Arcane, my eyelids dried up. jayvik shit aside, i mean literally. I expect the same performance from you(also i dont hopefully🥲), JUST GIVE ME A HAPPY ENDING PLEASE🫠 I want to see THAT ballsy effect of Yn on the timeline. I believed you had a DAY and you please believe me too. Lots lots lots of love to you and your boyfie again from me 💙💙💙👯🧎🏻🧎🏻🧎🏻

I know this is SUCH A LATE RESPONSE but I just wanted to say this ask brings me so much joy hahaha

I absolutely love what you’ve picked up on, I’ll keep dropping little tidbits and bread crumbs as we go. I won’t give too much away but I can say that the plot gets pieced into some little pockets more and more and I think it does play well with S2 except for Viktor being the mage, I can say it won’t go that direction, so there isn’t the Viktor/Jayce timelines story happening (although I might throw in some jokes about that somewhere for fun, Kass likes to break the fourth wall) Another crumb that I can share is the assistant Viktor is talking about will show up again. He has a name and a role/story, all that good stuff so he’s not just a one shot random occurrence.

I have a couple endings that I’ve been tinkering with but I still really like my original one. I’ll likely publish that first and if people absolutely hate it I’ll publish a second one and have a “choose your adventure” kind of option haha. I think if folks actually read this thing in its entirety they deserve an ending that works for them. That’s the least I can do.

Also welcome to ao3!! I know I have a couple comments still on there I need to get to so if you did leave one and I haven’t answered I’m hoping to get to the rest soon!

I’m so glad you like the mood music too! I’ll keep adding those as well, I had a reader ask for the playlists and I’m hoping to get those out in the next month or so. I’ve got one for the reader, one for Viktor, the assistant has one, Kass even has one lol (fun fact Kass was supposed to be a villain/was going to die and readers loved him so I rewrote part of the plot so he could stay 😭😂) he weaseled his way into my heart too, love that asshole lol

I’ll try to deliver! 🫡 it’s going to be a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions but if I do it right it should all build up into both a love story and a story about self-discovery and care (it’s just as much about the reader as it is Viktor)

Thank you again for all the love, me and the boyfie (he says hi!) are sending the very same your way🧡🧡

Hope the rest of your weekend goes well over there and thank you again for such an amazing ask. When I saw it come through I was kicking my feet—absolutely love what you dug into and cannot express enough how much I love how insightful and clever you and the folks reading this are with your comments and conversations. It seriously makes my day just agahdhshsh thank you :)

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde

Act 6, page 5398

DAVE: whats up with the fish punk troll following kanaya around

ROSE: Seems she's passing through. Kanaya doesn't want her to cause trouble.

DAVE: cause trouble

DAVE: what the fuck could she even do here

DAVE: like kick over an old pile of garbage and cause the property value to fall even lower than jack shit

DAVE: i say let her go nuts

ROSE: Feel free to take it up with Kanaya.

ROSE: But if you authorize her to flip a bitch, just make sure she's nowhere near my chemistry table.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: cant be droppin your vials and shit all over the floor

DAVE: the only one whos got clearance to drop science is me

ROSE: Dork.

DAVE: dont even hate

DAVE: been shoring up my muthafuckin CRAFT over here

ROSE: I know. I've been in the same room, right over there, listening to you mumble lyrics to yourself for the last couple hours.

DAVE: rose you know what sucks

ROSE: Yes.

ROSE: To which sucky thing are you referring?

DAVE: it kinda just occurred to me

DAVE: while i was spitting ill verse to no end

DAVE: i got this weird feeling that i might be getting like

DAVE: a little dated?

ROSE: Is this about Terezi?

DAVE: what

DAVE: no no

DAVE: dont be disingenuous word girl you know what im saying

DAVE: i mean sorta passe

DAVE: like a lumbering pop reference dinosaur

DAVE: remember we are both kind of stuck in 2009

DAVE: so im like popculturally frozen in that period

DAVE: all my references feel like they might be getting a little stale

DAVE: even though the earth ended and all and there was no culture after that point anyway

DAVE: but still

DAVE: i can feel it

DAVE: like in my bones

DAVE: i just know on some hypothetical earth that kept going my shit is starting to get so lame

DAVE: and i know it doesnt matter because its just us here so who cares

DAVE: but i care

DAVE: its a matter of integrity i am a fucking artist

DAVE: like i think if i make one more rap about like some fucking dane cook movie from 2008 to piss karkat off or some tired bullshit like that im going to

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: ill just start feeling like a fraud

DAVE: my game might be drying up rose

DAVE: but its not my fault like im totally hostage to this freezedried backlog of cultural garbage that can never move forward again

DAVE: so i have to pick through it like im looting a fucking tomb while still all tryin to act RAP SASSY

DAVE: like YEAH take THAT motherfuckers

DAVE: OF THE PAST

DAVE: all in your mass graves somewhere in a dead frogiverse

DAVE: i be representing some god damn STANDARDS about your media do you feel me

DAVE: im depressing myself here

DAVE: all im saying is it would be cool to have some fresh shit to work with

DAVE: like just to know

DAVE: to know what the world would be like in the year it would be for us now

DAVE: which would be 2011 i guess

DAVE: wow 2011 really

DAVE: damn

DAVE: i just want to know what would have happened

DAVE: theres so much shit we were primed for

DAVE: it was gonna be exciting

DAVE: like barack obama just turned president remember that

DAVE: we never got to see if he fixed the economy

DAVE: remember how you were dying to see if he would fix the economy you were asking me about it every damn day

DAVE: just joking nobody gave a shit about that

DAVE: but like

DAVE: i never got to check out the next batch of stiller jams and see how bad i could mock them

DAVE: we never got to find out how the midnight crew adventure ended

DAVE: if ever

DAVE: rose

DAVE: ROSE??

DAVE: what the fuck man

DAVE: whyd you go back to your bottles and shit i was right in the thick of hella elocution

DAVE: dont give me that

DAVE: yes

DAVE: uh yeah

DAVE: yes i do ACTUALLY want you to come back over here

DAVE: im waiting

ROSE: Fine. Here I am.

DAVE: wow was that so hard

DAVE: this is what civilized people do rose they fucking talk to each other like actually in each others fucking vicinities

ROSE: You just have a tendency to go on for a while. I assumed we progressed to the traditional mumbling monologue stage of Striderian discourse.

DAVE: no thats not even a thing

DAVE: i was actually like

DAVE: trying to get your take

ROSE: Take on what.

DAVE: i dont even know

DAVE: i bet john would have stuff to say

DAVE: hes probably going through the same frozen fucking caveman from 2009 syndrome as me

DAVE: actually what am i saying the dude is a caveman from 1997

DAVE: hahaha like he could give a shit as long as hes got his cage dvds

ROSE: Oh! I saw him the other night.

DAVE: what

ROSE: In a dream. It was very brief, only a few minutes. I waved to him and then woke up.

DAVE: whoa what was he doing

ROSE: He was fighting Jack. Actually, he was doing quite well!

DAVE: oh man

DAVE: you have to tell me all about this

ROSE: I will. Later, though. I'd like to get back to work.

DAVE: ok when

DAVE: tonight?

ROSE: I have plans tonight. How about tomorrow.

DAVE: plans

DAVE: what plans

ROSE: Just some plans.

DAVE: can i come

ROSE: No!

DAVE: fuck fine

DAVE: tomorrow then

DAVE: maybe ill just dream up my own john tonight and well have an awesome time without you what do you think about that

ROSE: ...

DAVE: fu

[anadorablekiwi]

Okay so i have some questions about knee pain for the people who know more medical things than me

First off: the original source. So years ago my first semester of college, i had tried to fix up my old kid bike. Got it to the college, bike chain snapped trying to ride it across the sloped street and the bike hit my left knee hard. Hurt a lot but wasn’t broken, so we just called it sprained and moved on.

(I’m aware this next part was probably stupid but we didn’t have much choice) I then proceeded to walk/limp with a cane on said injured knee because like I said starting college and didn’t have a choice really. Got some knee braces and moved on.

Eventually it stopped hurting, and now after i get significant exercise (walking a lot especially on slopes, hiking, etc) there’s a good chance one or both knees will be sore (my right knee was used too often subconsciously so now both give me pain issues)

Apparently this isn’t normal? We’re going to get me a prescription refill from an urgent care tomorrow (past prescriber was school health center but I dropped out, next available appointment to get established with my pcp is august, health center closed for the summer before i could get a prescription til then) and my mom suggested mentioning my knee pain since ive been having problems since Tuesday when we went to SF and walked all over the place

I’m not sure if i have the energy for more chaos/things to do and appointments to make, but considering i’m getting a job where I’ll be on my feet a lot that might actually be a good idea?

Honestly i dont even know what I’m asking at this point. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, overstimulated from this past week of almost constant Things To Do and Places To Go, and ive got strong persistent anxiety right now and i dont know what triggered it.

So I’m not doing well to say the least. My brain is Mush, and I probably still have extra brain fog from having finally recovered from covid a couple weeks ago (still been having mild symptoms on and off). Its also really late so my brain isn’t to be trusted anyways

I guess what I’m asking for is general advice? I know @/gemglyph was advising i seek out an orthopedic who specializes in knees, but I definitely am not up to the phone calls or appointment(s) that would entail quite yet.

Would an urgent care doctor be able to help? Or should i just wear my compression knee braces and deal and try to get some rest (more shit to do tomorrow ;-;)? I dont know what to do

[alarrytale]

Hi Marte, I recently came across your blog. Since then, I have been reading your asks and opinions about industry, harry and louis, their brands, they really resonate with me. So first i just wanna say thanks for taking the time and sharing them because it is hard these days to find blogs in this fandom that, like i dont wanna be unfair to people but, still dig below the surface and “theorize” based on wildly accepted facts about industry rather than how their situation make us feel.

Anyway I see so many bloggers claiming that larries don’t have a vital part in Harry and Louis’ fandom in that apparently we are, now, smaller part of their respective fandoms and it doesn’t matter if we stay or not. But I’m having a hard time seeing that tbh, I think larries are more like core-fans of these two men, so I dont know why their teams would wanna get rid of us, i’m aware that their teams are still doing things that may look like to discourage larries but there seem to be also concerted effort in their parts to give larries vague enough content to keep us in the fandoms, just recently, two of harry’s music videos seemed really targeted to larries, especially music for a sushi restaurant, also their timing of releasing daylight where the story and imagery got larries going right before Harry went into another pr seemed intentionally in their part. So I was wondering what are your thoughts about larries’ places in their fandom nowadays? If you have a time and would like to talk about, I’d like to hear your thoughts about that , thank you 🙏🏻

Hi, anon, welcome!

I pretty much agree with you. I think we larries are a large and integral part of both their fandoms. We're very vocal, knowledgeable, funny as fuck but always on our toes. But best of all we have the power to make the rest of the fandom do our bidding. For example make twitter trends, organise successful fan projects, charity donations and so forth. Larries made fitf uk no 1 happen. We promo the shit out of things on behalf of them and their teams. All the puzzles H and L have created for their album promo (eroda and the fitf word scrambles) would never have been solved that fast if not for larries. We're also always the ones to discover album and song leaks first, ever since the 1d days. We are on top of things, and if we want something bad enough we make it happen. We're a force to be reckoned with.

I think both their teams play both sides. I think they want to keep us here for a couple of reasons. Despite us vocally unmasking their showmance attempts, we also do a lot of promo and keep up fandom engagement. For Louis, us larries are large part of his fanbase, so he needs to cater to us. When it comes to both H and L i think they appreciate having fans who sees them, who understands them (their personalities, their lyrics, and when their lying or faking it) and who values them for who they are (as gay people). We are loyal and won't leave them when they come out. A lot of larries are also fellow queers so there is a sort of mutual recognition and understanding there. I think they genuinely care about us. But making money takes presedence most times and us larries often become casualties. We are the fandom black sheep(s), but we wear that label proudly. They'll never be rid of us, i don't think they ever could or would. So even though it might seem like they don't see us or care about us, they do.

[thesugarhole]

quick venting post just as i finally began internalizing 'oh well play the cards im dealt' and try to find some comfort in the life i currently have and making future plans to go for an easier get-by once i have a safety net (savings) its like. im suddenly and steadily bombarded by messages like 'make sure you do what you want now dont let life take you on the predicted path its a risk you gotta take' like fucking hello??? theyre not mutually exclusive to a degree but its also... idk to explain its like if you dont have it planned from 10 years old then you might have some good experiences but its never the life youll want. and its direct conflit with 'never too late to start doing something'

yesterday night for example i opened the 'news' (its more articles full of advertising and soccer than actual news) tab on my phone and there was one like 'tips from CEO who retired at 44!' and it w

boiled down to, quote 'having life planned to the microscopic detail by the time she was 20' (im 27 this year, fucking come on) studied hard, worked hard for the first youthful years, made it to portugal microsoft ceo(?) and amassed enough to retire early.

it was mentioned she lost her parents early (at 50yos, but how old was she then?) that helped push her to plan it like this but like. well first of all i guess im still too bright eyed because i dont believe this ceo thing possible without loosing morals/ideals along the way (ive yet to met a ceo thats not incredibly out of touch and wants to fuck over everyone and everything for their own gain), but i find it harder to believe there was no silver spoon, especially for those first years. granted if shes 44 now she probably had an easier economy then, but hm. millions work hard from the moment theyre born, how come they don't retire at 44?

the investments. there it was. 'oh i invested in real estate and other small things' thats not hard work, thats gambling. and thats the exact moral loss i expected, the way real estate in portugal is now. and god this pisses me off so much what the FUCK does 'invest in real estate' EVEN MEAN?? you want me to buy stocks off some company?? you want me to buy a house and become a landlord?? i dont even have a place for myself, much less for the tourists and digital nomads. and for every one person saying they got rich off investing, oh you gotta invest smart etc theres 10 currently trying and bleeding money and about 30 that already gave up on it. like it genuinely feels like any other get rich quick scheme where its disheartening that it worked for a couple people and those couple people already had money to begin with

idk if any if this is gonna make sense im writing from heart and whatever the text leads but you understand this right. like my current goal is to just find something later on that will pay decent, not make me slowly but steadily give up on it and have personal time for hobbies. and then i get this shit thrown at me. in 4 months ive been broken down enough that the ridiculous honey pot that is 'invest! stocks! etc!' is starting to appeal to me. like i am not going to be different from the other failure cases im not one lottery away from being set for life. and at the very least im not putting money in the machine selling 40m2 studio apartments for 1 million euros to foreigners while throwing people in the streets if they had houses, jail if they were illegally occupying abandoned houses with no roof. fuck sakes

[sieglinde-freud]

6, 13 and 26? :)

OMGGG MAKER OF THE ASK GAME IN MY INBOX HI FAYEE <3 6 already answered soo

13. What do you like most about Fire Emblem?

i would love to lie to you all and say its the gameplay because im super smart and good at these games but if youve read like any of my posts it’s probably fairly obvious its the characters. these little guys make or break the game for me, and i think the fact that fire emblem has so many of them is what keeps me really into the series. theres just SO MANY of them, and i know thats a detractor to some people, but being able to pick out a handful of favs for each game is so fun to me. the fact that the cast changes for each game keeps it fresh i think. and while i do love the gameplay of the series, i think the characters help elevate that too. ive tried playing advanced wars and its a good game, pretty similar to fire emblem, but the same stakes just arent as present when im bossing around a bunch of guys who dont mean anything to me. i dont care. if random soldier in a tank goes down thats not really my problem, i’ll just get another one. but if someone like idk… stahl died during battle? yeah i have sully as a backup, but thats STAHL. theyre DIFFERENT even when they can do the exact same thing. liking characters gives you an incentive to keep them alive and help them grow, and the permadeath mechanic gives you an incentive to actually play well instead of relying on sacrifice strategies even if you know a replacement is coming. just good shit all around. and honestly? fire emblem casts are generally pretty likeable too, at least in my opinion. i could probably count on one hand all of the playable characters i genuinely have disdain for out of like the hundreds available. theyre all just so fun, even when theyre a bit more simple, or maybe even a little TOO complex for a game built around a support system. love em all. they are ALL my little guys :3

26. Come up with a pitch for a new FE title, no matter how silly it is!

i think ive made a post about this once but it still shakes around in my head every now and then. i have absolutely no idea for a mainline fire emblem game (well. yes i do. the idea is that i want vampires in there but thats all i got) but if i were in charge of making a silly little spin off title, i would make it a dating sim. but not just any dating sim: a roguelite dating sim. the idea is that you play as inigo/laslow and your goal is simply to go on ONE successful date. ONE. but for inigo, it’s not quite that easy. you have to go through a few different stages, first you have to get through asking someone out and having them say yes. then you have to get ready for the date. then, the date itself. and as you go through these stages, you can get a couple of boosts to help you out. for example, if you run into gerome, you can borrow his mask. this ups your “mystery” factor, but it decreases your ability to see properly, giving you the “klutz” status. you can bring along a wingman (cynthia, brady, saizo, owain probably?) but they have a set chance to steal your thunder at any time. you can get severa to ask you for advice, but if you’ve been playing bad she’ll turn you down and yell at you, decreasing your confidence. you can pick up olivia’s headband while getting ready, which would increase your confidence. just a bunch of silly bullshit that makes or breaks inigos ability to successfully pick up a date. if your date asks you questions you have 5 seconds to pick a socially acceptable answer. does your date like puns? if you picked up laurents glasses previously you might have a better time reading their expressions to tell. but if you picked up his hat, you look like a doofus and are locked into a harder difficulty automatically. average playtime to complete is 75 hours.

[shoheiakagi]

My unpopular opinion about k is that chitose will have a relationship with dewa cause dewa is the only person who stayed by his side all the way through his break up journey and also despite being close like really close and always together chitose doesn't get bored of their constante company and dewa didn't leave him even when he saw at his lowest and how he became a heartbreaker. So i couldn't imagine chitose fallen for someone else only if he did go to therapy Which i am sure he didn't cause he couldn't t really see that he was in the wrong

Another one is Fujishima and Eric never end up together for one reason is that Eric must been so broken after his traumatic past that if in any case he fall in love it would be not that good for him if something happens in the futur the not near one it will be after a lot of work have been done on him and so i see Fujishima more as his care taker.

(sorry if it's long i was just existed to talk about K)

don’t apologize for the long ask!! im happy that you reached out and felt comfortable with sharing your opinion!! putting it under the cut since it got really long

send me your unpopular opinion/hot take on homra/k and i’ll post on whether i agree or not!

so in regards to your chidewa opinion: i don’t think it’s unpopular? like they might not be popular characters, but among the fans who do like or care about them, their ship is pretty popular. I also do agree with you! I think that chitose needs someone like dewa; someone who doesnt take his shit and will call him out, but is still very loyal and sticks with him during the bad times. i do think that this couple will have a hard time getting together at first. i dont think dewa will have a hard time with accepting his sexuality, but i have a strong feeling that chitose will be in denial for the longest because 1. he’s not ready to get involved in another committed relationship after what happened with his ex and 2. he would deny the possibility of being into men for the longest. I can see chitose cutting off dewa for a while and probably give him the cold shoulder as a result of internalized homophobia.

fujieric: also agree! eric had a traumatic past, so its very unrealistic for him to heal overnight. His journey will take weeks, months, and maybe even years. as sweet and soft fuji is, eric is a lot of work (not his fault at all). so as patient as fuji can be, i can see him getting frustrated with eric’s hot and cold behavior; how eric is so closed off even after all their time together. i like to think that eric slightly improves with the help of fuji (and some of the others like totsuka), but once totsuka passes away, eric finds himself withdrawing back into his shell and getting back into his old (bad) habits like when they first met. and that unfortunately dampens his relationship with fuji. i also hc that because of his past, eric becomes hyper sexual. with his body constantly being abused, he finds sex meaningless, and even uses it as a coping mechanism. so much to fuji’s dismay, eric is casually sleeping around with the most random (and wrong) people, even offering to sleep with some of the other members. so it’d be really hard for fuji to get into a relationship with eric, unless he’s willing to have an open relationship (which he’s not). And honestly, even the most patient person has their limits, so i cant blame fuji for cutting it off with eric (or maybe never even initiating a relationship at the first place), just to preserve his own mental health