#even if julia turns out to be mean or bad i still love her

[coff-in]

GIRLS LOVE GIRLS RAAAAHH—

julia is so sweet, i feel bad that she was pretty much used by andrew as a beard to hide his incestuous feelings for ashley. i used to think that he should get back with julia so he could feel better or something until i realized that i just wanted better for her. that's why i'm dropping a self insert fanfic with 20k— (i'm not doing that yet)

anyway, i love julia. in my head she's emo, she's chubby/plus sized, she watches anime, and would go to comic con or the anime expo with me (but like in europe or smth)

wolfe loves lamb ♡

[glossdebut]

take a bite | MYG ★ 7

✧ PAIRING: yoongi x fem!reader

✧ SUMMARY: Your fledgling career as a music journalist is finally going in some kind of direction that must be on the path to success. Your coworkers like you enough to invite you out on Fridays, your boss is starting to think you’re competent enough to let you score a few bylines, and you’re finally getting the hang of InDesign. All of your hard work, late nights, and complete lack of a social life are starting to pay off… Even if it all came at the expense of the longest relationship of your life. Fine. You’ve accepted the fact that romance isn’t for you, under any circumstances. You won’t risk your career for anybody. Not even Min Yoongi.

✧ TAGS: slow burn, eventual smut, eventual romance, producer yoongi, music journalist reader, neighbors to friends to lovers? you’ll see, reader is bad at feelings, reader is post-break up

✧ WARNINGS: copious amounts of FEELINGS both good and bad, theatre references LOL, world-class meddler kim seokjin, yoongi being hopelessly whipped, angst, smut

✧ WORDCOUNT: 10.3k

✧ STATUS: complete

✧ AUTHOR’S NOTE: WOW. i don't even know what to say... with this chapter, take a bite is officially complete. THANK YOU so much to those of you who have been reading from the very beginning and sending me such kind words. this story means so much to me and i can't believe it's over. thank you again to @love4myg for beta reading this chapter and the last!! everybody go give tanni some love. i love you all! i tried to give this story the ending it deserves so i hope you enjoy the last chapter <3

CH. 7: Wanna Do It All Over Again

You’re a planner, a scheduler. You keep a minimum of six to-do lists at a time. You do your best work when your week is clearly laid out for you within the confines of the neat little boxes on your calendar. So you allot yourself one day to grieve what could’ve been with Min Yoongi, and that’s it.

Your Sunday is spent wallowing, because Rina doesn’t give you any choice in the matter and you don’t have it in you to put up a fight. She seems a little bit like she’s grasping at straws on how to help you, though.

You don’t blame her. Rina had dropped everything to be by your side when your ex ended things, but the remedy for that was pretty straightforward.

There was the initial crying on your part—the intense and nauseating kind that felt like it would never stop, until Rina held you and it inevitably did. After the tears came the anger, the picking apart of every little argument you’d had with him, every quirk of his that had soured from endearing to annoying, and Rina had no problem talking shit. Anger turned into drinking, and drinking led to falling asleep in a heap together on your couch.

It didn’t magically fix the hollowness inside of you overnight, but it helped. Rina had a patented method to make a broken heart a little more bearable.

A patented method that, unfortunately, doesn’t really apply here. Your heart isn’t broken over a failed situationship. You’ve been crying, sure, but it’s more of a passive sniffle than anything else. You can’t bring yourself to feel angry at Yoongi either. Confused, annoyed, disappointed, stupid—all of those you can feel just fine. But the anger just won’t come.

Desperate, Rina defaults to cliches. Cheesy movies, ice cream, face masks—the stuff straight out of a ‘How To Get Over Your Ex In Ten Easy Steps’ article in a teen magazine. She paints your nails while you stare blankly at Julia Stiles’ face on your TV. You force yourself to believe it’s helping. You have work to do, a deadline to meet. So if you need to watch 10 Things I Hate About You with Rina and cry it out to cleanse your brain of Yoongi, so be it.

You refuse to use a sick day in general, let alone because of a man, but you do grant yourself permission to work from home on Monday. Not because you’re still grieving—that’s what Sunday was for—but because you look like you’ve been run over, dumped into the river and then fished out.

With greasy hair and puffy eyes, you set your phone to do not disturb and hunker down in your bed to write your profile on Yijeong. Despite the burn of your laptop on your thighs, you type and self-edit for hours, pausing only to listen to your recording of Yijeong’s interview and transcribe direct quotes. 

You’re able to churn out a subpar first draft before you burn out around four in the afternoon. Your brain is all over the place, and as a result, the profile is nowhere near where it needs to be. But you don’t have it in you to stare at your laptop screen for any longer. 

Rina slipped out this morning and made herself scarce so you could work, so you’re alone. You decide to shower first and foremost, something you’ve been putting off for far too long, and then maybe order dinner if you want to shell out extra money towards a delivery fee. 

Stretching your legs as you stand, you use some of your few remaining dregs of energy to drag yourself out of bed and into your bathroom, finally shedding yourself of the sweatpants and shirt you’ve been wearing since Sunday morning.

Your mistake is looking in the mirror. The few marks Yoongi made on your body are only just barely beginning to fade, still dark on your skin. You trace a fingertip over the bruise he’d sucked into your breast just days before, so recently that you can still conjure a phantom of the feeling of his lips and teeth on your skin. He’d wanted you so fervently then that you’d been sure at that stupid party that he already felt what you did. That he’d just been waiting for you to catch on. 

You don’t know what you did wrong, what kind of misstep you could’ve made to make Yoongi withdraw so suddenly like he did, but you wish you could take it back.

When you finally emerge from your shower, you’re no more energized than you were when you entered. At the very least, though, you’re clean, and you decide to reward your efforts with tangsuyuk.

When you turn your phone off of do not disturb, you can’t help but hope, just for a moment, that Yoongi has texted you today.

Instead, you find that Seokjin has.

[4:42] Seokjin: If you’re not too busy, can we meet?

The anger that had been missing in action floods your senses all at once. 

Seokjin wants to meet you. Seokjin, who you’ve met once. Meanwhile Yoongi, who allegedly still wants to be your friend, can’t send you a cursory text or, god forbid, walk down the hallway to explain any of this to you.

You are not this girl. You have gone through strenuous effort to build very sturdy, very high walls to ensure that you don’t become this girl—the one who loses sight of what’s important to her for a man who will just fuck her over anyway, leave her high and dry. Disappear with no explanation. Fuck that.

If Yoongi isn’t man enough to let you down easily himself, if he’s going to have Seokjin do it for him, maybe you’re better off without any bullshit excuse. From either of them.

You swipe out of your messages, ordering your hard-earned tangsuyuk first. Once the payment has gone through, you open Seokjin’s message again, fingers shaking as you type out your stilted reply and press send.

[5:03] You: i am too busy. and not interested.

Bitterly, you set your phone back to do not disturb. The delivery driver will knock when your food is here, and you couldn’t care less about whatever Seokjin’s reply could be.

★ ★ ★

The rest of the week goes by in a blur, but now that you’re committed to feeling pissed off, you actually feel a lot better. Maybe it’s the man-hater in you.

You hyperfocus on finishing the profile, the words flowing much easier now that you’re done feeling sorry for yourself. Even when you have to write about Suga and his impact on Yijeong’s career, you aren’t the slightest bit thrown off. By the time you’re done, you’re confident that it’s possibly the best thing you’ve written in a long time, and when you hand it off to Rina for feedback she concurs.

On Wednesday morning, you drop the final draft off on Kevin’s desk for approval, and then spend the next few hours helping out where you’re needed. Everyone in the office is in a frenzy to get the layout of Look Here’s next issue together. You spend your day copy editing and calling sources with last minute follow-up questions. 

When all of the articles are squared away, you lurk by the design team in case they need any extra hands. In return, you get to watch the paginator type your headline onto the front cover, which is… a pretty cool moment for you.

You usually hate the week leading up to print day, but knowing that Yijeong’s profile is going to be on the cover, you revel in the chaos of it.

You’re slightly anxious when Kevin calls you into his office right before quitting time, but you try not to let it get to you too much. You know the profile is good.

“Y/N,” Kevin says, tearing his attention away from his computer as you step into his office. It’s a good sign, you think, that he’s looking you in the eyes this time. “Sit down.”

You sit, immediately tapping your foot to try and calm your nerves. “You wanted to see me?”

“I read your piece,” he says, leaning forward in his chair to rest his elbows on his desk. But he doesn’t say anything else.

Um… Okay.

“And?” you ask meekly. He looks at you seriously, and your heart jumps into your throat.

“It was incredible,” he says. Fuck, thank god. “You should be proud of yourself.”

“Really?” you ask, your whole body relaxing all at once.

“Really,” he insists. “It was well-written, informative, personal. I don’t know how you got him to open up like that, but I hope you can keep doing it.”

You blink at him. “Keep doing it?”

“You can expect more assignments like that starting next week,” Kevin says, smiling at you warmly. Holy fuck. “We’re all very impressed with you. We want to give you bigger responsibilities moving forward.”

“Thank you,” you blurt out, unable to contain your excitement. “Thank you, I won’t let you down.”

“I hope not,” he hums, amused, before turning back to his computer. “Go home and get some rest. Print day tomorrow.”

“I will,” you say, standing up in a flash. You want to call—Rina, you want to call Rina and tell her the good news. “See you tomorrow!”

“Have a good night!” Kevin calls as you leave his office in a hurry.

As you walk back to your desk to grab your bag, it feels more like you’re walking on a cloud. Holy fuck. You were right. This piece was your breakthrough piece, and you proved yourself just like you knew you could. Nothing can bring you down right now.

★ ★ ★

As it turns out, Kim Seokjin is not the kind of guy who takes kindly to being ignored. Based on what you know about him, you probably should’ve been able to figure that out on your own. But you certainly didn’t expect him to ambush you outside of your apartment.

You spotted Seokjin sitting against your door as you made it home from work, although he scrambled to his feet when he noticed you approaching. You wondered how long he’d been sitting there waiting for you to get him. He looked like he was well-prepared to convince you to let him in, a pre-planned speech at the ready, but you didn’t give him the chance, wordlessly letting him inside.

Maybe you were still riding the high of being praised by your boss, but you highly doubted anything Seokjin could say to you would kill your good mood. If he wanted to defend Yoongi’s honor, he was welcome to try. 

Your initial impression of Seokjin was that he was boisterous, silly, and a little bit crude. As you sit across from him, all of that still seems to be true, although he seems intent on doing his very best impression of a longsuffering psychiatrist right now.

He sits primly in the armchair opposite the couch you’ve nestled yourself into, his hands steepled together in his lap as he pulls a serious face. It looks strange on him.

“I’d like to preface by saying that you and Yoongi are both being stupid.”

You blink at him, taken aback, until your expression settles into something unimpressed.

“Nice start,” you say flatly.

“You’re perfect for each other and why both of you are willing to throw it away so quickly is beyond me. It’s giving me a headache,” he continues, rubbing at his temples as if to prove his point. “I’m going to play mediator just this once, and then it’s up to you two to figure it out for yourselves.”

“Does Yoongi know you’re here?”

That makes Seokjin snort. “Are you kidding? He’d try to kill me,” he says, crossing his arms. “No, he doesn’t know I’m here. But he told me what happened, and I think there are some things you deserve to know.”

Yoongi told Seokjin what happened. You can’t help the scoff that escapes your lips. That’s nice for him. You don’t even know what happened. Yoongi certainly didn’t seem to feel obligated to clue you into his reasoning for ending things.

“Why doesn’t he tell me those things himself, then?” you ask bitterly.

“Because he’s stupid,” Seokjin says, snapping his fingers impatiently. “Keep up.”

“Okay,” you sigh, equally impatient. You’ve changed your mind. You want to get this asshole out of your apartment as soon as possible. “We’re both stupid. What is it that I deserve to know?”

“Yoongi-yah may be stupid, but he isn’t a bad person.” 

You sit up straight at that. Is he joking? “What are you, his fucking character witness?”

“I’ve been his best friend for over a decade,” Seokjin snaps, clearly tired of your attitude. As if you aren’t justified in having one. “So if I am his character witness, I’m a pretty fucking good one.”

You open your mouth to say something, something venomous at the tip of your tongue, but Seokjin beats you to it, holding his hand up to silence you. “Can you just be quiet for five minutes and let me say my piece? Please?”

Huffing petulantly, you shrug and lean back into the couch, gesturing for him to continue.

Seokjin visibly regroups. You watch as he sits up a little straighter, shakes off the irritation, takes a deep breath.

“For as long as I’ve known him, all Yoongi has ever wanted was to make something of himself,” Seokjin starts, calmer now. “He loved making music, and he didn’t care about anything else. Least of all himself.”

“I got to know him when we were freshmen in college,” he continues. “I’d heard about him from classmates, seen him around, but you know Yoongi. He’s pretty tight-lipped about things, always has been. It’s one of his many faults.”

You scoff, your bitterness cutting through the air. No kidding. That’s how you ended up here, isn’t it? Yoongi’s little omissions, always giving half-truths. The real reason why he ended things with you is just another one to add to the list.

“Anyway,” Seokjin says, his eyes narrowing at you for a moment as he continues. “I was majoring in theatre, and I’d been cast in ‘Into the Woods.’ Yoongi was volunteered by his piano professor to help with the accompaniment, and during our first rehearsal I just remember thinking to myself, ‘who is this scrawny kid who can play Stephen Sondheim with his eyes closed?’”

You wish he’d get to the point already. You’re a sucker for a good backstory, you are. It’s what makes you such a good feature writer. But you’d really like to maintain your resolve in being pissed at Yoongi, if you can help it.

“I was so impressed with him, you know? He does that. He makes everything look so easy. I made it a point to get to know him, and he opened up to me surprisingly fast. I think he needed a friend,” Seokjin continues. “He told me that he was mostly there on scholarships, but he still had to work two jobs to live and pay off the tuition that he did owe. He told me that he utilized the fuck out of the production equipment on campus. He told me that all he wanted to do was make music, and for people to hear it and think it’s worth something.”

Seokjin pauses for a moment, shifting in his chair.

“I think he would’ve done anything to make that happen,” he says, tension in his voice. “I already didn’t like some of the shit he did do, the situations he put himself in, but I think if he knew it could’ve made his dream a reality, he would’ve done much worse.”

Seokjin doesn’t offer up any more information on what exactly Yoongi did, but he doesn’t have to. You gather by the grimace on his face that it must’ve been pretty bad.

“Obviously he made it anyway. You know who he is now,” he says, pausing for a moment. He looks at you seriously. “That comes with its own set of issues, though.”

“Like what?” you ask, disbelieving. 

You feel bad for Yoongi, you do. At least for what he must’ve went through in the past. You know what it’s like to struggle, to feel like you can’t possibly reach your goals with the resources available to you. You’re experiencing that currently. 

But Yoongi is extremely successful now. Artists trip over themselves to get a song from him because they know it’ll chart, that people will go crazy for it. His track record is that good. How hard can it be, living like that? Having people think so highly of you?

“Like people taking advantage of him at every turn,” he says, his words blunt. “People pretending to care about him to get close to him. Even going so far as dating him. Long-term. Or at least as long as it takes to produce an album.”

Oh.

“…Suran?” you guess, thinking back to the party Saturday night. The way Suran kept touching Yoongi, like there had been something there. Yoongi didn’t seem all that uncomfortable, but he’s got a killer poker face. Could Suran be that kind of person?

“What?” Seokjin asks, bewildered. “No, Suran was just a casual thing. He told you about Suran?”

“I met her. Saturday,” you say, waving a hand dismissively. “They seemed close.”

“That’s been done for years. Yoongi cares about Suran, but it isn’t like that anymore,” he insists, shaking his head. “It was someone else. It’s not my place to say who, but it’s the only time I’ve ever seen Yoongi in love like that. Or at all, honestly. He brought her around all of us, which is a big deal for him. Wrote songs for her. Like, not just for her album, but for her. About her.”

“What happened?” you ask despite yourself. You can feel your resolve crumbling, curiosity getting the best of you. Fuck.

“They were out celebrating finishing the album,” he says. “She wanted to go for a walk after dinner. Kissed him in the middle of the street. The next morning, he woke up to pictures of it all over the internet. She’d texted him, too, breaking it off. It didn’t take much brain power to figure out she orchestrated the whole thing.”

You feel a pang in your chest. As hurt as you are, you also know that Yoongi couldn’t have possibly deserved that. Nobody does.

“He threw himself into his work after that—almost never left the studio. Barely ate or showered,” Seokjin says. “I had to put a stop to it. He was going to overwork himself to death, if I didn’t. I had to help him dig himself out of that hole.”

You chew on your bottom lip for a moment, doing your best to ignore how much that sounds like you. How Yoongi was the one beginning to dig you out.

“That sucks,” you say finally. “But I don’t see what that has to do with me.”

“Come on, Y/N. You’re smarter than that,” Seokjin huffs. Big talk from the man who’s been calling you stupid this whole time. “Yoongi hasn’t dated anyone since then. Hasn’t even shown interest. Until you.”

“That’s not what it was, between us,” you insist. “I thought, maybe…” Maybe it could’ve been, you think. You shake your head to snap yourself out of it. “But he ended it.”

“Because he’s stupid,” Seokjin says. “Because he got hurt, and it made him stupid, and when you asked him if he could get you an interview with Yijeong, he was scared that was your endgame.”

What?

Yoongi thinks you were using him? What the fuck????

“I wouldn’t—“ you start, but Seokjin cuts you off. 

“Why do you think I’m here?” he asks, his gaze piercing through you. “You think I couldn’t tell you were going to fall in love with him the moment I met you? The moment I saw you two together?”

Your throat tightens and you have to tear your eyes away from Seokjin. Love is a big word. One you’re not quite ready to contend with, not now.

“…I like Yoongi,” you manage. You can admit that now, even if Yoongi himself never got the chance to hear it. “But just because he got hurt once upon a time, it doesn’t automatically make the way he ended things with me okay.”

“Just talk to him,” Seokjin pleads.

“Look, I listened to what you have to say,” you say, standing up from the couch. “And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t change some things. But I don’t know if I want to talk to him, okay? Maybe it’s better that it’s ended before we got anywhere serious, if we’re both so fucked up over the past.”

“Y/N—“

“Seokjin, I have work in the morning. I appreciate you coming over to tell me all of this, but I’d really like it if you left now.”

You don’t give him much of a choice in the matter. He’s overstayed his welcome. You make it abundantly clear that if Seokjin doesn’t use his own two legs to walk himself out of your home, you fully intend to grab him by the scruff of his neck and drag him out yourself. 

Defeated, Seokjin stands up from his chair and makes his way to your front door. You follow close behind, shutting and locking it behind him before he can get another word in.

When you walk back to the couch, you catch Rina poking her head out into the living room. 

Shit. You hadn’t even known she was home.

Wordlessly, you sink back into the couch, emotionally exhausted. Rina sits with you, repositioning you so your head is in her lap, running her fingers through your hair soothingly. 

You both sit in silence for a few minutes, but you can practically hear the gears turning in Rina’s head. She’s been biting her tongue since Saturday night, being supportive when you needed it, but not pushing. But she was just in your bedroom that whole time, and Seokjin isn’t exactly quiet. You can only imagine what she heard. You brace yourself.

Finally, she breaks the silence.

“He can play Sondheim with his eyes closed?” she asks.

All of the tension seeps out of you at once. You should’ve known better. Of course Rina won’t push you in either direction. She’s your best friend, your Seokjin. Her loyalties will always be with you, and she knows that you need to process everything on your own. 

But she’s also a theatre kid.

“Apparently,” you huff, closing your eyes.

“…That’s really hot.”

You laugh, reaching up to swat at her shoulder. “Not helpful.”

“What are you going to do?” she asks, her voice gentle.

That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? What are you going to do? Seokjin made a strong case for Yoongi, but you’re still mad about how everything played out. You trusted Yoongi this whole time to be honest with you, but you keep being made aware, over and over, of how much he keeps to himself. You aren’t sure if you want to fight to be let in, if it’s worth it. You want it to be.

“I don’t know,” you say finally.

Rina hums, continuing to stroke your hair.

“...Do you wanna watch ‘Into the Woods’?” she asks.

You snort softly, sitting up to grab the remote.

“Only if it’s the one with Bernadette Peters.”

★ ★ ★

When Yoongi got his very first long-term gig as a producer, Namjoon brought him a potted plant as a studio-warming gift. 

Yoongi thought it was stupid at first, because his studio didn’t have any windows—windows would compromise the integrity of the soundproofing—so the plant would have zero chance of survival. And why was Kim Namjoon buying him a plant anyway? New headphones would’ve been better, Yoongi told him. 

But Namjoon had laughed and insisted that the plant—a dracaena, apparently—was extremely resilient. That it could still thrive in the darkness.

“That’s why I got it for you, hyung,” Namjoon had told Yoongi. “It reminded me of you.”

Needless to say, Yoongi became obsessed with the thing.

It was just a small little cutting, just barely starting to grow on its own, so Yoongi researched how to properly care for it and took all of the necessary steps to ensure it would succeed, even in his dimly lit studio. 

He watered it, pruned it, measured its growth. He sent Namjoon pictures of it on a weekly basis. He named it—Eodumie, thank you very much. 

It took a while, but eventually, Eodumie started to die. Yoongi didn’t know why, so he started doing research on dracaena. He’d put so much effort into helping it grow, so it only seemed sensible to figure out why things had taken a turn for the worse. Run into a problem, find a solution.

Yoongi very quickly found out that Namjoon was a little bit dumb, and that the only ‘plants’ that grow in complete darkness are mushrooms. But he still felt like he’d failed. 

When Yoongi is really upset and can’t stop turning a problem over in his head, he resorts to extremely heavy-handed metaphors to help himself make sense of things. 

So all of that is to say, Yoongi has a tendency to kill things before they have a chance to grow.

He thought, because you didn’t want a relationship, that you were safe from it. And you were, because he really was okay with being your friend. He didn’t expect any more from you.

But then you asked him if he wanted to have sex with you, and… Well, everything changed then, didn’t it? Not because he couldn’t keep things casual anymore—if that’s what you wanted, he would do it. He would try. You make it so hard for him to say no to you.

No, everything changed because Yoongi is an overthinker by nature. He’s attuned to the rhythm of the world around him, notices patterns where others don’t. Especially when he’s seen them before.

He gave you his mouth, and then you wanted more. He gave you more, and then you wanted a favor. He gave you your favor, and then Suran gave you his identity. You had your favor, and his identity, and then you were all over him, and Yoongi knows what happens next. He’s heard that song before.

Shit, Yoongi’s made that song before, unwittingly. And he’s not interested in writing another duet just for it to sour like the last one.

Metaphors, again.

The point is, he cut it off before he was in too deep. Sex complicates things. For him. It blurs the lines, and he’d much rather do you professional favors when he’s not also seeing you naked. It’s the only way he can keep being your friend, and that’s what you want.

Seokjin thinks he’s being an idiot. Seokjin can suck his cock. Yoongi was doing what he thought was right.

He hadn’t expected to hear from you. Over the past week he’d thought about reaching out and explaining himself every day. But he wanted to give you space, maybe. Or maybe he still felt a little sore about the whole thing. But then, Friday night, you text him asking him to come over and…  

Now he’s in your apartment.

In all of the weeks he’s known you, Yoongi has never actually been inside your apartment before, he realizes. Is that weird? The closest he’d been was when he picked you up for the party on Saturday. When he’d lingered in your doorway, looking at you in your pretty dress. Fuck, you looked good. He didn’t want to go to that dumb party in the first place, but you in that dress… He wanted to drag you down the hall, get you in his bed. Take it off of you with his teeth. 

It’s devastating that now that Yoongi is finally here, you seem so stiff in his presence. Quiet. Unlike yourself. You’re sitting as far as humanly possible from him on your couch, and Yoongi feels like an asshole. Even when you were literally a stranger, you didn’t feel like this much of a stranger to him. It was instant, the way you’d hit it off. Did Yoongi really make things this way?

“I read your article,” he says, cutting through the silence. Neither of you have spoken since he came in, and the tension is making him antsy. Desperate to break the ice.

What he doesn’t tell you is that he read your article the second it came out this morning, that he’s had alerts on his phone for everything published under your name since the day after he met you. That he drops everything to read it all, no matter what he’s doing.

It was beautiful. It was about one of his best friends, so of course he thought so, but you have such a way with words. It’s another thing you have in common, he thinks. You both have difficulty saying what you feel out loud, but when it comes to work, when you’re writing, it just pours out of you.

“You read my article,” you repeat softly, huffing. Yoongi can’t read the expression on your face, and that bothers him to no end.

“Of course I did,” he replies, brow furrowing in confusion. “I always do. Especially this one.”

“We need to talk,” you say. He watches as you turn your body on the couch, pulling your legs to your chest to face him.

“Okay.”

“I need to talk,” you suddenly correct, voice tight. You take a breath, and then, “Seokjin came over the other night.”

Seokjin… Oh.

Oh, Yoongi’s going to kill him. Brutally. He told Seokjin to keep his nose out of his fucking business and instead of listening and staying out of it, he came over to your apartment? Is he insane? Yoongi’s always thought so, in a mostly loving way, but this is a whole new level of intrusion that he didn’t think Seokjin was capable of, and now he has to die.

“He came here? He had no right—”

“It’s fine,” you say, waving a hand. Yoongi’s unconvinced, but he forces himself to settle, to take a breath. You said you needed to talk, and he’s going to let you. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to text you, so… It’s probably good that he did.”

Yoongi doesn’t see how that could possibly be the case, but he stays quiet. Waits for you to find the right words. 

“This whole past week, I’ve been so… confused,” you start, your eyes fixed on the couch cushion between the two of you. “Confused, and mad at you.”

“I still am, I think,” you continue, lifting your head to look at him. “Mad at you. But I don’t want to be, because I miss you. You said that you still wanted to be friends, but you haven’t exactly put in much of an effort to do that.”

“I wanted to give you space,” Yoongi says. His excuse sounds hollow, even to his own ears.

You shake your head. “You don’t trust me.”

“It’s not that, I just—”

“Let me talk,” you snap, frustrated, and Yoongi’s mouth snaps shut so fast he can hear the click of it. “You don’t trust me, and that’s fine. I get it. But if me asking you for help bothered you so much, you could’ve just told me no instead of assuming that I was using you as some kind of stepping stone and then just breaking things off without explaining.”

There’s nothing Yoongi can say to that. He knows you’re right. He should’ve just said no the second he felt uncomfortable, but it was just so important to you he couldn’t bring himself to not help you.

“I get why your brain immediately went there, but I’m not going to apologize or act guilty or anything like that. Because I wasn’t using you,” you say firmly, crossing your arms. “Shit, Yoongi, all the times you’ve offered to help me I’ve tried to stop you. My car? But then the one time I come to you first, you assume the worst and shut me out. It’s not fair.”

“I know,” Yoongi says, looking down at his hands. “I’m sorry.”

He feels like the world’s biggest piece of shit. For someone usually so observant, he suddenly feels like he’s been blind this whole time. You’ve done nothing but be upfront with him about what you wanted, and still he assumed you were pulling one over on him. He’s spent the past week feeling justified, feeling like he’d done the right thing, but your words have made his entire mindset shift in an instant.

“The night of the party, I…” you trail off. And then you laugh, which makes Yoongi look back up at you. “Yijeong told me I was special. He said that you hadn’t been to an industry event in years, even when he asked you to. I didn’t know that.”

“It was important to you,” he mumbles, sheepish. He didn’t know Yijeong had said anything about him to you. Looking back now, he realizes how stupid that is. His friends are all world-class meddlers. Clearly they need to be, if Yoongi’s this fucking dense.

“See? That right there,” you say, frustrated. “I thought, maybe… I thought you had feelings for me. Non-platonic, romantic feelings. And for the first time since my ex… Did I ever tell you what happened with him?” you ask.

Yoongi had read between the lines. He knew that your ex had a problem with how demanding your job was, and that it’d ended badly, but beyond that he doesn’t know any details.

He shakes his head.

“We were together for almost four years. Almost all through college,” you start. “He met my parents. I met his. After we graduated, we moved in together. In this apartment, actually.”

Yoongi watches you glance around your living room. He knows that look. Years later, he still remembers what his apartment, his studio looked like when they were occupied by someone else. He remembers every detail. 

“I thought we were going to get married eventually. We’d talked about it.” You pull your knees tighter to your chest, looking down. “I got my first job at some shitty newspaper. I worked insane hours and it barely paid anything, but it was a start. I was over the moon about it.”

He holds his breath, waiting for what he knows comes next. 

“He broke up with me after two months,” you say, your voice wavering. “He said it was because he barely saw me, that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me if my job was going to be more important than us. It took him less than a week to move out. Four years down the drain.”

Fuck. It’s awful, watching you relive your pain and not being able to do anything but listen. Because Yoongi hurt you, too. He’s the reason you’re digging this up, that you’re feeling it all over again.

Yoongi looks down, picks at his left thumbnail as he listens. He can’t bring himself to look at you.

Your ex is an idiot, he thinks bitterly. How could someone spend four years watching the way you glow when you talk about writing and throw that away?

“I blamed myself. Why wouldn’t I? He told me it was my fault,” you say. “I haven’t been interested in a relationship since. Why try if I clearly don’t have time for it? The thought of you having feelings for me…”

He hears you suck in a breath, braces himself. He thought he’d done a good job of hiding how he felt about you, even after the sex. But he’d made you uncomfortable anyway. Of course.

“It made me want to try,” you say softly.

Yoongi’s head snaps up, his eyes meeting yours. It’s almost insane, the way his heart starts racing in his chest at just the slightest glimmer of hope. You realized how he felt—feels—about you, and you wanted to try? He wants to interrupt you, to ask what that means, but he holds his tongue. 

“I think maybe I’ve had feelings for you this whole time,” you continue, looking down at your knees again. “And I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. But when Yijeong told me all of that… I mean, fuck, Yoongi. We weren’t even speaking and you read my article. You helped me even though you thought I was just using you to get ahead. When I hadn’t seen you for weeks, instead of thinking I was a bad friend, you offered up your studio so we could work in complete silence together.”

He would do anything. He would do anything to see you glow. That first night in that horrible Western bar you’d both been dragged to, the way you puffed up with pride when you told him where you work—that’s all he ever wants to see.

“I was going to tell you,” you say. “After the party, I was going to tell you. But then you ended things, and I… I didn’t know why.”

Yoongi needs to salvage this. He needs to know if there’s anything left, if you could ever forgive him for being such a stupid, prideful ass. He hopes.

“Y/N…” he starts, but you cut him off.

“You do this thing where you only give me half-truths about shit, and it drives me crazy,” you say, pointing a finger at him in frustration. “All of the secrecy about your job, who you are, how close you are to Yijeong, why you ended things with us. It seriously makes me want to kill you sometimes.”

You’re right. He prides himself on being an honest person, but he kept things from you on purpose. He didn’t want to let you in fully, to let you see him. He didn’t want to get hurt. But none of that was worth hurting you. He’s going to fix this. He’s going to try. 

“Then let me clear some things up,” Yoongi says, sitting up straighter. 

He scoots closer, closing some of the space between you on the couch.

Yoongi has never been good at talking about his feelings, not out loud. In songs that will ultimately be sang by other people, sure, but doing it like this makes him squeamish. He’ll get over it, though. You need to hear this. 

“I’m an idiot,” he says seriously, looking into your eyes. “I’m an idiot for thinking you would do that to me. I was scared and stupid, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I assumed the worst of you, and that I kept things from you, and that I ended things so suddenly. My past isn’t an excuse. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but I should’ve been more open with you, so I’m going to try. Okay?”

You nod once, and he takes it as his cue to continue.

“You were right,” he says, reaching to take one of your hands in his. He intertwines your fingers, staring down at them as he speaks. “About me having feelings for you.”

He hears a sharp intake of breath. He doesn’t know what that means, can’t bring himself to look at you until he’s done verbalizing all of this, but he hopes it’s a good thing.

“I was happy to be your friend,” he continues. “I didn’t expect anything more from you. But yeah, Y/N, I’d be crazy not to have feelings for you. You’re incredible, you know? You’re so smart, so driven, so insanely sexy. I was a goner the moment you introduced yourself to me with a handshake.”

You pull your hand from his, and for a moment he panics, until he looks up to see you using it to cover a tiny laugh. Your eyes are glassy, and although Yoongi hates the idea of making you cry, he feels relieved to know that it’s likely not out of sadness.

“I’m so, so sorry that I hurt you,” he reiterates, pulling your hand back into his and squeezing it. “I never meant to, but I did, and that’s not okay. But if I didn’t completely wreck my chances and you still want to try, I… I promise I’ll do better. I won’t keep things from you, I won’t act without considering your feelings, I’ll do better with all of it.”

You take another shaky breath, biting down on your bottom lip as you process his words. Yoongi feels like he’s going to have a heart attack, tense and pulled taut, but he waits patiently. 

The ball is in your court now, Yoongi thinks. This is your decision, as it should be. If you want him to walk away, he will. If you want to stay friends, Yoongi thinks it might kill him now that everything’s out in the open, but he’ll do it for you. But he hopes—

“No more half-truths?” you ask softly, and holy shit.

“I promise,” Yoongi insists. He holds his breath.

“Then I still want to try.”

Relief washes over him instantly, all of the tension leaving his shoulders at once. He didn’t fuck everything up beyond repair. You still want him. Holy shit, you still want him!

“Fuck,” Yoongi breathes, squeezing your hand again. “Fuck, can I kiss you?”

“You better,” you say, and Yoongi doesn’t waste a goddamn second. Instantly, he’s moving your knees so he can fit himself between them, cradling your jaw to capture your lips with his. 

God, you taste so good. He’s the luckiest motherfucker on the planet.

Yoongi is just happy to kiss you again, to know that you’re his now. But then you make a sweet little sound into his mouth, slide your hands under his shirt, and he pulls away to look at you.

“Baby,” he says, catching his breath. Shit, it feels so good to call you that again. “We don’t have to do anything right now.”

“Are you kidding?” you ask, pushing his shirt up impatiently. Cute. “After you left me hanging last time? In a suit, no less.”

Yoongi huffs a laugh, grabbing hold of your wrists to stop your hands in their tracks. “I’m just saying, we don’t have to rush into anything just because—”

But then you shut him up with a kiss, which he melts into easily before you’re pulling back again. You look so serious. Yoongi likes you so fucking much.

“I want my boyfriend to fuck me,” you say, wriggling your hands out of his grip to keep feeling him up, and Yoongi is powerless to resist because fuck, boyfriend. “Is that too much to ask?”

He shakes his head dumbly, mouth agape. He’s your boyfriend. You said it.

You laugh, pinching his nipple, and Yoongi hisses as he’s yanked out of his reverie.

“Come on,” you tease, standing from the couch and pulling him with you. “Bedroom.”

Yoongi follows you to your bedroom eagerly, letting you drag him by the arm. You take a moment to shoo Pepper off of your bed and out of the room, shutting the door to keep her out, but Yoongi’s patience only lasts so long. As soon as the door is closed, Yoongi pulls you to your bed, laying you down on your back and kissing you breathless. 

He slips his tongue into your mouth, tasting you as his hands slide over your ass to squeeze it. You moan in response, your hips kicking up against his, and he lifts his head to look down at you.

“Tell me what you want,” he murmurs lowly, his lips still brushing against yours. Yoongi thinks he’d give you anything you ask for, especially when you look so sweet and needy beneath him like this.

“Just want you,” you pant, chasing his lips for another kiss. He obliges easily, dipping down to lick into your mouth again.

A part of Yoongi wants to drag this out—really drag it out this time—and tease you until you’re desperate and whining, begging. A part of him wants to see how far he can push you, to make you fall apart so he can put you back together again over and over. But Yoongi’s also not feeling very patient, not when you’re like this. He feels like he’s going to die if he doesn’t touch you right now.

You moan as Yoongi rips your shorts down your legs, arch your back as he slides his hand into your panties to feel you.

“Shit, Y/N,” he groans, sinking his middle and ring fingers into your pussy with no resistance. “Always so soaked for me.”

“Yoongi,” you whimper. God, he’s so addicted to that—the way you say his name when he touches you. If it wouldn’t make him sound like a headcase, he’d ask you to record it. Sneak it into his fucking songs. Let the world know how pretty you sound for him.

“Fuck yeah, let me hear you,” Yoongi murmurs. He sets a steady pace with his fingers, curling them up and thumbing at your clit, and you cry out for him, your face contorting with pleasure. Fucking addicting. “Sound so pretty, baby.”

“M-missed you calling me that,” you whimper, squeezing your eyes shut as you rock your hips up into his touch, and Yoongi’s more than happy to let you take what you need. “Missed the way you touch me.”

“It’s only been a week,” he teases, pumping his fingers faster as his free hand slides over your abdomen and up to your chest to roll a nipple between his fingers. “Am I that good?”

Despite your pleasure, you still reach out to swat at him blindly, and he laughs when your hand connects with his chest. “I hate you,” you complain weakly, but the way your core clamps down on his fingers tells him something else entirely.

“Nah. You like me.” He dips down to lick and suck at your other nipple, satisfaction buzzing through his veins when your hands thread through his hair, grasping at the strands. Yoongi can feel your urgency, can feel how close you’re getting for him in the way your muscles tense beneath him, and he quickens the pace of his fingers in response. “Come on, baby. You gonna come for me?”

“Shit, Yoongi—” you moan. Yoongi feels the tension in your body break, your pussy fluttering as his fingers pump inside of you, and he lifts his head to look. 

You look so beautiful when you come. Fuck, he wants to commit everything about it to memory: the flush in your cheeks, the way your lips part in a moan, your eyes shut tight as you just… take it.

“That’s it,” he groans, slowing the pace of his fingers, letting you ride out your orgasm. “That’s my girl.”

After a moment, Yoongi withdraws his fingers, leaning down to kiss you gently. “Okay?” he asks when he sits up on his knees, studying your face as you catch your breath.

“Mmh,” you hum, nodding. Your body relaxes and you sigh, grinning. “More than.”

“Need a second?” he teases, grinning smugly at how fucked out you look already. 

“Fuck that,” you say, catching him off guard when you suddenly sit up, surging forward to tug his shirt up and off faster than he can react. The second it’s off, you’re going for his pants next, impatient. 

“Fuck, hold on,” Yoongi huffs breathlessly, amused as you struggle to push his pants down over his hips. He stops you, shifting off the bed for a moment to do away with them properly. “Eager, huh?”

“Can’t help it,” you say, laying back for a moment and lifting your own hips to shimmy your panties down your legs. Yoongi can’t help but stare, his tongue running over his bottom lip as he takes in the sight of you. So fucking pretty.

You grin, sitting up again and gently tugging Yoongi closer by the waistband of his underwear. “Yoongi,” you murmur sweetly, and he hums, transfixed by the sight of your hand moving to palm at him through the fabric. “I wanna ride you. Is that okay?”

He inhales sharply, his eyes snapping up to meet yours. He feels his cock twitch in your hand at just the thought of you on top of him, and you smirk. Damn. You’re the smug one now, huh? 

“Are you sure?” Yoongi just needs to check. He wants to make sure that this is really what you want, but he’s already moving to shed the last barrier between you.

“Uh-huh,” you confirm, biting your lip as you glance down at his now-freed length, your hand wrapping around it and pumping him slowly. Fuck fuck fuck. Yoongi is not proud of the noise he makes, the pitch slightly higher than his normal timbre. If he doesn’t get inside of you soon he’s going to lose it.

Mercifully, you let go, your attention momentarily torn away as you shift off the bed to rifle through your bedside table. Yoongi moves to the head of the bed, sitting up against your headboard and taking a second to calm the fuck down. He wants this to be good for you, and if that’s gonna happen he needs to be able to not come as soon as you touch him, thanks.

When you return, condom in hand, all Yoongi can do is watch you as you tear the wrapper open, roll it onto his length. Wordlessly, you straddle him, his hands coming up to your hips to steady you.

“Good?” you ask, and Yoongi nods stiffly. He’s so good. How could he not be, with you in his lap like this? With what you’re about to do? You’ve completely turned the tables on him, and he’s so fine with that.

“Just—” he grits out, squeezing your hips gently. “Fuck, go easy on me, okay? I want it to be good for you.”

“It will be,” you assure him, reaching between his body and yours to guide the tip of his cock to your entrance. “Always is with you.”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow at you. “Not if I come in two seconds like a teenager,” he points out.

“I’d consider it a compliment,” you tease. Yoongi inhales sharply as you sink down just the slightest bit, his eyes squeezing shut. He feels your lips on his cheek, pressing a gentle kiss there. 

“I’ll go slow,” you tack on, and then you start to ease the rest of the way down slowly, stealing all of the breath from Yoongi’s lungs in the process.

“Shit,” he groans, his head falling back against the headboard. You moan softly once you’re finally fully seated on him, and he squeezes your hips to anchor you there, taking a moment to just look at you. “You’re so pretty, you know that?”

Yoongi’s words are rewarded with a pretty flush on your cheeks and your shy smile. “Shut up,” you mumble. His heart squeezes in his chest, a grin spreading over his face.

“I can’t tell my girlfriend how beautiful she is?” he teases, using his grip on your hips to encourage you to move, tearing sudden, simultaneous moans from both of you as he starts to guide you into a slow, steady rhythm. “How crazy she makes me?”

“You can,” you pant, steadying yourself with your hands on his shoulders, using them as leverage to follow his guidance. “Please,” you add, causing Yoongi’s lips to quirk up in a smirk.

“Such a good girl for me,” he whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to your throat. His hands slide from your hips to your ass, groaning as he grips the flesh in his hands appreciatively. “Do you know how often I think about you? About this?”

“Tell me,” you whimper. You sound so desperate for it, for him, and Yoongi is completely awestruck by you. You’re always telling him exactly what you want, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t want to comply every fucking time. Anything for you.

“Can’t get you out of my head,” he moans into your neck. “You’re so fucking—god, you’re so sexy.” Your hips stutter, and he pulls a hand back to smack your ass once, wordlessly telling you to move a little faster. And you do. “So smart, so passionate. Can feel it in the way you write, but not just that. The way you talk about it, fuck, could listen to you forever.”

You moan, clenching around him, and Yoongi hisses, bucking up into you involuntarily. He’s not going to last much longer, he can feel it, but he can also tell plain as day that you’re just as close.

“Look so sexy riding me like this, too. I’m so lucky,” Yoongi says, sliding his hands over your body as he speaks. “This ass,” he says, gripping it in his hands again. “These tits.” Another squeeze, to your breast this time. “Fuck, your pussy. I could write chart-topping, award-winning songs about this fucking pussy.” One hand slides down, his thumb rubbing at your clit in tight circles. You keen, moaning his name. “How wet it gets for me. The way it tastes, how it feels around my cock. Fuck, Y/N. You’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

“I’m gonna come,” you mewl, and Yoongi can’t help the growl that tears from his throat.

“Yeah, come on my cock, baby, fuck, I’ve got you,” he grits out, planting his feet firmly into your mattress for leverage as he fucks up into you. He groans, his eyes squeezing shut as his hips meet your ass, the backs of your thighs, setting an urgent pace.

“Fuck!” you moan. Yoongi must be doing something right, judging by the way your thighs start to shake, the way your whole body goes taut in his grip. “Fuckfuckfuckrightthere—”

It’s still true: Yoongi will never get tired of the way you look when you come. You just let go, shaking and moaning and digging your nails into his shoulders as you writhe above him. He did that. Fuck.

His rhythm gets sloppy quickly and he pulls you as close as he can as he thrusts up into you, his own orgasm quickly following. Stars burst behind his eyes as he spills into the condom, groaning into the crook of your neck as he slows to a stop.

You pull him into a kiss, both of you gasping into each other’s mouths as you recover. When you tear yourself away, Yoongi feels your hands cradling his face, and he opens his eyes to find you looking at him, exhausted from exertion but smiling.

“I think all of those things about you too, you know,” you mumble fondly, thumbing his cheek. Yoongi’s heart skips a beat. “It’s not just you.”

His hand comes up to rest over yours, a shy smile playing at his lips. “Guess we won’t get tired of each other any time soon.”

You laugh, carefully lifting up off of his lap. “No, I guess not.”

It’s hard to tear himself away from you, but Yoongi drags himself off your bed to dispose of the condom, navigating his way to your bathroom easily. Your apartment has the same layout, after all. When he returns, he uses one of your towels to wipe you down carefully.

Afterwards, he climbs into your bed with you, pulling you close, your head on his chest. For a moment, Yoongi tries to think back to the last time he felt this way, but he comes up short. Even in his last serious relationship, it didn’t feel this way. In the back of his head, even if he wasn’t willing to admit it until now, he always knew something was off about it. But this, being close to you like this, this thing you were both so scared of… It feels so right. 

“Seokjin thinks we’re going to fall in love,” you say after a long moment, your voice quiet. Dangerous thing to say, Yoongi thinks, with your head on his chest like this, so close to his traitorous heart.

“Seokjin thinks a lot of shit. Says all of it out loud, too,” Yoongi murmurs into your hair, taking one of your hands to thread his fingers with yours. “What do you think?”

Yoongi knows what he thinks. He thinks he’s already more than halfway there. He thinks this… you and him could really be something. Not for the first time tonight, he holds his breath.

“I think he’s right,” you answer softly, lifting your head to look at him.

As Yoongi looks back at you—his wallflower, his neighbor, his music journalist friend, his beautiful, hardworking girl—all he can think about is that Western bar he didn’t want to go to. The one he was dragged to on some random Friday, not even a wellness check night. The one he could’ve easily said no to going to in favor of staying in his studio instead. Just another thing he owes his friends for, he thinks. This might be the best one, though.

He squeezes your hand.

“Yeah,” he says. “Me too.”

★ ★ ★

EPILOGUE

You didn’t think you were going to make it.

Work has been busting your ass lately, and while you’re endlessly thankful that your career has suddenly taken a sharp turn for the unimaginable—interviewing Lee Chaerin, fucking CL up close and personal, are you joking?—you told Kevin that you had somewhere to be tonight. And that motherfucker still kept you in his office long past five to brainstorm next month’s edition.

Thankfully, you made it out with just enough time to make yourself look presentable in the mirror before making a dash for your car. Unfortunately, you had to forego running home to shower and change clothes, but you did wear a cute sweater and a flattering skirt to work today in anticipation of exactly that situation. Small mercies.

You’re late, definitely late enough for it to be rude, but Yoongi had insisted over and over that this was a completely casual thing.

You love Yoongi, but he’s totally full of shit. There’s nothing casual about meeting your boyfriend’s literal soulmates.

As you stalk towards the front door of the restaurant, you pray that you haven’t completely squandered your first impression before it even begins. Even Rina is making a better one than you—she showed up twenty minutes early. Backstabbing bitch.

Yoongi, ever the gentleman, meets you at the door.

“Will you relax?” he says, exasperated even as he leans in to kiss you ‘hello.’ When he pulls back, he flicks you on the forehead. Asshole. “You texted me your ETA like twelve times. While you drove. This is the furthest thing from a big deal.”

“Says you,” you grouse, slipping your arm into the crook of his elbow easily as he guides you inside. “These are your soulmates. They already love you. What if they hate me? What if they want to burn me at the stake?”

This past month with Yoongi has been nothing short of bliss. You’re both busy, both practically living in your respective workplaces, but sometimes you make time to visit him in his studio and work next to him in silence. Sometimes you come home to find him cooking dinner for you in your apartment and swapping stories with Rina. Sometimes you sleep in on weekends, wake up next to him and admire the softness of his features in the morning, the way Pepper curls up on his chest like he’s been around forever. It’s so good it makes you want to cry. Comfortable. Plus, there’s lots and lots of sex. Sex so good it makes you actually cry sometimes.

“They won’t,” he insists, keeping you close as he weaves through tables to guide you to the private room in the back. “They’ll love you, too. Maybe even more than me. You’re much easier to get along with.”

“That’s true,” you concede with a dramatic sigh, smiling at him fondly. He may be a grouchy hermit, but he’s your grouchy hermit.

When you reach the door of the private room, he stops. You can hear Seokjin’s windshield wiper-y laugh, even with the door closed. “You ready?” Yoongi asks, turning to you with a grin.

“No,” you mumble, pouting. When he runs his thumb over your bottom lip mockingly, you huff at him. “But I guess I have to be, don’t I?”

“Yep,” he says simply, dipping down to kiss you one more time. “It’s gonna be okay, baby. I love you, so they’ll love you, too.”

You hum, grabbing greedily at the front of his shirt to pull him down for one more kiss. “If you say so,” you murmur. “I love you, too.”

You smooth out his shirt and then do a full-body shake to ease your nerves, which makes Yoongi snort. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Yoongi nods, smiling at you fondly, gums showing. You’re damn lucky, you think, to be the one at the receiving end of those smiles. He loves you. It’s so fucking stupid how much he loves you, and how much you love him in return. It’s still new, still a little thing that both of you are learning how to nurture properly, but fuck it’s good.

When he opens the door, the noise of friends inside—both yours and his—filtering out into the restaurant, it’s that gummy smile still lingering in your mind that makes you take a step inside. That, and Yoongi’s voice in your head telling you it’s going to be okay. Because if there’s one thing you know beyond a shadow of a doubt after this past month, it’s that Yoongi will always be honest with you.

He squeezes your hand, and you step inside.

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[sneepity-snoop-snorpity-sneep]

I gotta blabber for a sec about how much I appreciate how unique and SO not-simple of an antagonist Olrox is.

like he's introduced as the Vampire Who Kills Richter's Mom, and it was a straight-up murder. Like he fully sought her out, she was in the process of sending her kid overseas most likely because she knew he was coming - even before we fully get Olrox's side of the context, we can tell that shit was personal. Right down to the vivid green eyes, he's giving weirdly chill disney villain vibes. But the entire rest of the show? He's the dude in the bad guy car of the villain train just sitting and judging (OH is he judging) every other person there.

Olrox tracking down and killing Julia Belmont is the most confrontational we ever see him get. Every other scene he's in? He's watching, assessing, sometimes philosophizing, and eventually pulling his own chess moves, but fighting? Rarely! And the additional context of his character makes him even more fascinating!!

Olrox is really one of the only vampires in both Castlevania and C: Nocturne that seems to hold onto a connection to a human's life - even after he's no longer one. He reminisces to Mizrak about being a human during the fall of the Aztec Empire, he chooses to spend his time more like a human than any vamp since Lisa sent Dracula traveling like a human way back when.

Homeboy crossed the Atlantic by fucking ship, at a time when the trip took literal weeks and weeks and he can't even leave his quarters except at nighttime (granted, idk if he *has* a faster way to cross the ocean but it kinda seems like he'd do the ship trip anyways) he chooses to rent a room at an inn instead of staying at the chateau (and boink a cute human in said room, cough cough), and really seems to avoid other vampires - although I'm not sure if that's cuz he just doesn't vibe with 'em in general, or because he really doesn't vibe with the current hot vampire philosophy of the century, which seems to be very heavy-handled colonialism + elitism

I kinda wouldn't be surprised if it's both honestly - given that the only other vampire we meet besides him who spent time in the americas/new world was a literal plantation owning slaver (and unless I misremember, Annette says there were multiple vampires among the rich in St. Domingue), it seems pretty likely to me that whoever turned him was probably a vamp who had a direct hand in the downfall of his nation - coming to the New World specifically for conquest and to seize resources seems like it would be hella appealing for vampires. It would make a LOT of sense for Olrox's standoffish behavior around the other vamps to go back to him having been turned by someone very similar to them, who was probably not just an enemy to him, but part of this massive wave of destructive change in his human life.

like he really gives an impression of actively disliking and withdrawing from every other villain's motivation in this show - and it makes a lot of sense if my speculating is even a little bit close. The vampire's goals in Nocturne would be very nearly the same thing that drove the fall of the Aztec Empire - desire for power and control, justified by some """""natural order"""" hierarchy which really just boils down to 'we want all of this and we're going to indulge in making up a dramatic jerk-off reason why we're entitled to it, since you can't stop us taking it anyways and we've got time'

Dude seems to make little effort to be vampire-like - we rarely see him revel in his power like many other vampires do, as well as seeing him nonchalantly rubbing elbows with humans. He speaks fondly of a man he loved, who he fell for while said guy was still human, TO the other human he is currently crushing on! And I do mean crush, like he doesn't react to or treat Mizrak like a plaything, almost every time we get an Olrox lore-drop it's because he's talking to Mizrak sincerely about things that matter to him. He LIKE-likes this human, to the point of jumping directly into a fight to whisk Le Crush to safety in front of a vampire so powerful he won't directly oppose her! Absolutely fascinating behavior all around.

MAN but I want to see some flashbacks from this guy - as far as we know, vampirism is completely an Old World thing - Europe, Asia, Africa, every other vampire we've seen in both Castlevania shows has been from these continents. Were there even any vamps there at all before europeans landed on the shores of the americas???? I mean, I've heard of one of the old religions in mesoamerica having a suspiciously vampirelike god, but how would that connect to Olrox getting vampirized as a 30ish Aztec man?

MAN OH MAN but I am looking forward to seeing what Olrox gets up to in s2 -I'm burning to know if he's gonna survive the series or not, because despite him being the first villain we meet in Nocturne and doing a deed that usually gets villains the 'karmic death' ending, overall he's not really being written like a bad guy the audience wants to see go down. especially since he's not actually in opposition to our protagonists and has a vested interest in keeping one of Team Good Guys newer members alive. My guess is he's either going to get a similar ending to Isaac, a villain that we root for who actually catches a break and doesn't die, ooorrrrrrrr he's gonna get a Highly Tragic sort of death

[rabesbabe]

She was soft like silk chiffon

Cassandra Webb x Fem!Reader

Summary: Cassandra webb has never been one for dating. The idea of committing to anyone that isn’t herself is terrifying. And she thinks she’d rather die than make the first move…that is, until 3 girls help her get the courage to.

A/N: sorry for that god awful description but i watched madame web and i want dakota johnson sooo bad… also in this fic Cassie doesn’t get hurt at all after the battle. anyways enjoy! (not proofread)

“So you’re like a feminist?”

You sat in the middle of your brother Ben’s living room staring up at the three teenagers shooting questions at you like you were taking a pass or fail test.

“I guess you could say that, I mean I obviously believe in womens rights? I am one…” You replied to Mattie, who was looking at you with a speculating face.

“So like what do you do for work?” Asks another girl, Anya. Who was throwing popcorn at Julia across the couch.

“Well I own a record store a little more north of here and I’m a EMT just like Ben, Cassie too.” You said smiling slightly at the thought of your store.

“So what you’re saying is you’re kind of cool..?” Mattie says looking at you slightly shocked.

Julia and Anya just laugh at her. And give you a sympathetic face.

“Who’s kind of cool?” Says a voice in the hallway.

“CASSIE!” The three girls jump off the couch and run up to her.

“You didn’t leave us.” Julia mumbled quietly while staring at the brunette.

You leaned against the wall and gave a small wave to Cassie. Her eyes grew wide for a second before she gave an awkward wave back and quickly turned her attention back to the girls.

“So how was Peru?” Asked Anya who seemed to have noticed the awkward interaction.

“Yeah can you like control your powers yet?” Says Julia as she sat back down on the couch with Anya and Mattie following behind her.

You moved down in front of them on a pillow while Cassie sat in front of the TV facing you guys.

“Well it was good. I mean it was really hot I guess.” Cassie said.

“‘It was really hot.’ Thats all you have to say?” Said Mattie rolling her eyes.

Cassie smiled and laughed obviously realizing her mistake.

“Well it obviously did wonders to her hair. Look at it!” You got up and walked behind Cassie gently picking her hair up and moving it behind her as if to show it off.

Flustered, Cassie shied away and barely mumbled out a thanks.

You just laughed and walked into the kitchen to grab some water. As you were walking in the kitchen Ben walked into the living room and said “Obviously our friend Cassie here gets a little nervous when Y/N’s around.”

Cassie rolls her eyes at him as the girls all say “Ohhh.” In unison as if Cassie’s awkward behavior finally clicked.

Cassie knew the girls were never gonna let her live her small (not so small) crush on you down.

Three months later, Cassie and the girls sit in the back of your record store waiting for you to come by. Ever since Cassie had saved them it was like you and her were their new cool aunts. Maybe not legally but definitely in their hearts.

Skimming through records the girls try to think of ways Cassie should confess to you.

“Why don’t you buy her flowers and write a sincere card?” Suggests Julia.

“But that’s sooo boring,” sighs Mattie picking up a David Bowie record.

“I’m not confessing to her because there’s nothing to confess.” Says Cassie rubbing her forehead as if the girls were giving her a headache.

“Cmon Cass everyone knows you might as well admit it.” Anya says using a nickname the girls have been calling her. Which (she’d never tell them but) Cassie loves.

Sighing Cassie thought about it. Maybe they were right I mean it was obvious she liked you. And maybe telling you wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Even if you said no she’d still have it off her chest instead of the idea of telling you constantly nagging her thoughts like usual.

“I’ve got Donuts!!” You say walking into your

store breaking Cassie out of her thoughts.

“It’s like you can read our minds!” Says Mattie who’s basically charging towards you to grab the box of donuts.

“Hey Cassie’s the one with the powers not me! I’m just naturally charming.” You say giggling.

Cassie gets up smiling, to help you with all the stuff you’re carrying.

As you set down your bag and the cup tray of coffee you turn to Cassie and hand her one.

“Thank you.” She says beaming up at you.

You smile and nod.

Unbeknownst to you the girls are making eyes at Cassie desperately trying to suggest to her that she should confess her feelings.

Cassie looks down and sighs, caving into the girls efforts.

“y/n, can we go talk in the break room?”

You look at her confused but nod, while the girls roll their eyes at Cassie. Because now they won’t be able to watch her tell you.

You walk over to the room with her sipping at your coffee. You notice she keeps fidgeting with her fingers and avoiding your gaze.

“So..?” You say expectantly as you close the door behind you once you’re in the break room.

Cassie sighs, “I wanna ask you something but I wanted to ask you over here because I know the girls would make a big deal out of it.” She laughs.

You smile at her urging her to go on.

“I was wondering if you’d wanna go to dinner one day? I know we’re both super busy I mean you own the store and we’re both constantly working with the hospital and stuff but I’d love to take you out one day?” She says looking at the ground unsure of herself.

You laugh, “I’d love to,”

She locks eyes with you and smiles.

Gaining a burst of confidence she comes closer and closes the gap between you both.

You kiss her and back and smile into the kiss.

Finally, needing air you pull away. “I guess all my attempts at flirting worked huh?”

Cassie just laughs even though she had no idea you were trying to flirt with her at all.

When you open the door you hear a loud thud followed by an “Ow” from Julia.

In front of you and Cassie you see the girls all smiling knowingly. Besides Julia who’s rubbing her injured head.

“Were you guys spying on us?!” Cassie says annoyed.

Mattie only makes a catcall whistle in response.

You laugh at the girls and notice a small blush blooming over Cassie’s cheeks.

[friedcheesemogu]

WHY WILLIAM BRANDT IS MY FAVORITE "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE" CHARACTER

This is a presentation I made for my discord last year, mostly for my own enjoyment, hopefully someone else will find it fun.

(I will state up front that it doesn't include anything about "M:I: Dead Reckoning" or any speculation on "Final Reckoning." For reasons.) Grab your snacks, here we go:

Hi. Thanks for coming.

Once upon a time, back in 2011, a friend wanted to go see "Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol." I had seen "MI2" in theaters, promptly forgotten about it, and mostly we were going to this because my friend loved Simon Pegg, and this Jeremy Renner dude was going to be playing Hawkeye in the spring in "Avengers" so we were interested in checking him out. I liked the character of William Brandt a lot, and was very relieved when he wasn't the bad guy.

I then promptly forgot about him for the next 9 years.

In the summer of 2020, my housemate brought home the MI blu-ray set. When he put on MI1, I started off across the room from the TV, slowly crawling closer, climbing over the couch, finally committing to it... and had a great time. I mean, MI2 is hot garbage, but whatever, doves, man. MI3 was solid, and then I saw "Ghost Protocol," and I imprinted on William Brandt. Like hardcore. Like it makes me look stupid.

But I can't talk about him without first talking about...

I. ETHAN HUNT

Have you seen this man? Now you have.

So I see the MI series as a long term character journey for Ethan.

Each movie is different and each Ethan is different, based on where he is in life. (And yes, I know that's also because up until a point they all had different directors, but hear me out).

MI1:

The cocky beginner with nothing to lose. Well... he loses a few things, but by the end of it, he's pretty well set up. He also plans to get out of the game until the very end.

MI2:

Ethan's emo phase. He's becoming better at his job and he knows it, he's careless and rash with himself and with other people. And again he walks away at the end.

MI3:

"I'm trying to be normal." Ethan's gotten older, and is initially out of the field, and he wants to try that, he wants to see if he can have a civilian life with the woman he loves, live in a house, have a dog... He genuinely loves Julia and wants to be with her. Even at the end, I think he still has an idea that he can balance this life with IMF.

But then...

MI4:

This is the turning point. This is the crux of the change.

A friend once said that GP "isn't essential to watch" and my argument to that was, "what the fuck." Let's look into this.

Up until this point, Ethan's attitude has been "I can leave/I want to leave."

In MI3, he even asks Luther to "remember a life before all this," assuming and idealizing that as something better than what he is or what he has when he's with IMF

GP is the first time that Ethan is in it from the beginning. He's not green. He's not on vacation. He's not trying to run. He's been in a Russian Prison for two years and he put himself there. Now we start to see that his priorities have shifted, or at least, his priorities have made it such that he feels/needs/wants to be in the game. And here we find out what he's given up to do it: his marriage, his freedom, his physical and mental wellbeing (inasmuch as Ethan ever thinks about his mental wellbeing, but that's a different post)

At the end, it's the first time we see him walk directly towards another mission instead instead of trying to get away.

This is also the first time he seems to really appreciate his team and hold himself and them accountable to each other. After talking to The Fog, the team that was chosen for him.

...becomes the team he chooses.

(Please take a moment to admire how cute they are, how helpful. Jane Carter, my queen. Benji Dunn, my moppet.)

And part of the team he chooses to finish the job includes that guy that they "inherited:"

He chooses William Brandt.

LET'S LOOK AT THESE FINE BITCHES A FEW MORE TIMES:

*muffled "Crew" by Dessa" playing the background*

This image is my phone case.

Anyway, let's get to the main event: why William Brandt?

II. WILL

I'm gonna refer to him as "Will" from this point on, because this man is my baby. He is tattooed on my thigh. We are close, and every time I think about the fact that he is the only team member who never gets called anything but "Brandt" it breaks my heart. So I'm not gonna do that to him.

Will is unlike any team member Ethan has ever had.

Most people want to work with Ethan. Will would rather be anywhere else. He's an unwilling participant. He doubts his abilities and his usefulness even though he has the training and he knows the job. He's nervous. He's not ready for this. He doesn't want to do it...but he has to. So he will.

Ethan can't read him

Ethan is extremely good at figuring people out, or at least coming up with a rough idea of who they are/what they're after very quickly (traitors notwithstanding). But Will hides his true self perfectly. Well... almost.

Until he was actually fighting for his life, Ethan and the others assumed Will was just baggage. The fact that Ethan pauses mid fight to notice Will breaking a dude's leg is notable, because that's the moment he realizes he's misjudged him completely. Will has the ability to blend in and not seem like a threat, when the truth is, he's as fast as Ethan and can more than hold his own.

This scene is so fast that even though I've watched it about 436 times I still can't follow their hands and MY GOD it's so sexy I want to throw my computer across the room.

Will can pass in both the political world that Ethan shuns and on the field. He works with Hunley while simultaneously subverting him. He's able to do the field work in Mumbai and play along flawlessly in London in "Rogue Nation."

There is no literally reason for Ethan to say "you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine" in that tone of voice while they look each other up and down unless...

Anyway.

2. Will has real and believable pain and guilt

Will spends all of GP working with someone whose life he feels responsible for ruining. Whose wife he feels responsible for killing. He's haunted by Croatia and it's visible on his face when he talks about it to Jane and Benji (thank you Jeremy Renner). His emotions are crippling in a way that has never been addressed before, because they bring up what Ethan has only started to accept at this point: the cost of what they do is that you can lose people, forever. You can lose your faith in the job, in yourself, and sometimes that breaks you. Will, for all his high position, skill, and intelligence, considers himself a failure.

It's also worth noting that he and Jane are interesting parallels: they were both in charge of missions where they fucked up and now have to face their mistakes directly to fix them. But Jane is able to take her anger and her pain and turn it around; it takes Will years to even face it, and that's only under duress. That he rises to the occasion is to his credit, but it's hardly unreasonable to be so shaken by how you've failed that it takes a very long time to pick yourself back up.

3. Loyalty

Something I feel Will never really gets credit for is his loyalty to so many things, even at the cost of his sense of self.

He's loyal to IMF - he never left. Even when he was at his lowest, he did something else within the agency. He committed himself to this and he's going to do it, no matter how much it hurts.

He's beyond loyal to Ethan. Without him, Ethan might not have made it away from Hunley or survived the events of "Rogue Nation." In the tie-in comic "Torn Asunder", it is heavily implied that Will is the one who warns Ethan of when Hunley is getting close. He's on the inside making sure Ethan can stay one step ahead. It's true that Ethan ultimately reaches out to Benji, but that's because Will has a cover that's so deep Luther calls him "a sellout." He's also willing to play the part of the traitor successfully because he's kept Hunley at bay for so long. He also straight up kills someone with a car to save Ethan and Benji (and no one ever thanks him for any of this, by the way).

But he's also one of the few people who ever says "no"

For all his loyalty and commitment to Ethan, he's willing to argue with him -over the briefcase with the codes, over jumping, over what the hell Ethan means when he says "do you see" in the parking lot after Benji is kidnapped- to a point that it becomes more of a fight.

Will is not always right in these situations (or right by the standards of the insane people on the team), but he does have to have things explained, have to be persuaded that this is not some crazy bullshit. He wants the details because he knows those matter -that's his job, to find them, know them, and analyze them. It may seem like he's doubting Ethan when he asks "what happens if you don't make it back," but he's making a reasonable request of someone he knows isn't actually superhuman. Will is well aware that they are both fallible humans, and he takes that into account.

He's just so interesting...

4. Will and Ethan's relationship

Will is Ethan's foil. He left "this life" like Ethan tried so many times, but didn't actually leave any of it behind. He is what Ethan could be if he let the entire weight of his whole life on him (which I'm not saying he should do, not until he has time for a whole lot of therapy) and went "oh my god, what happened, what have I done?"

Will knows how to play by the rules, and thereby how to break them; Ethan breaks the rules to play by his own. Will knows the cost and -for better or worse- lets that keep him from acting; Ethan hopes that if he acts enough it'll balance what it's cost to do it.

Something I think about a lot is this: it's not entirely clear if the Serbian hit squad that "killed" Julia was an actual group of people acting independently or whether the entire thing -and therefore Ethan killing six people- was set up by Ethan and the Secretary. If it's the latter they allowed Will to shoulder the entire blame for the incident (which is super fucked up, by the way). Regardless of whose "job" it was to protect Julia, IMF and Ethan threw Will under several buses. Once he knows this, he could use this against Ethan at any point -a reason not to trust him, a bargaining chip to get what he wants- but he doesn't. Will keeps Ethan's darkest secret and is trusted with it, possibly even before Luther. And he protects it, protects Julia, protects Ethan. Ethan asks Will to compromise everything he is while knowing that Will has the means to destroy him, and Will does it, because he'd rather put himself in danger than betray him. I think that says a lot about him (and again, a simple "thank you" would have been nice).

And of course there's this:

Ethan's life has never been more literally in anyone's hands than Will's. For all the ways Ethan fails to trust him for most of GP, Will doesn't hesitate for a second to jump out the window to save the life of the man who ruined his. And he was fast enough to do it, which I think says a little about his skill level.

(Mad props to Jane too, let's not forget her.)

III. Saturn take the leap

*"Hero" by Faouzia playing gently in the foreground*

Will is the kind of character I find endlessly fascinating. He's got so much going on under the surface, but the surface is so artfully crafted that it's distracting. He's withdrawn, but he's not shy. He's physically adept, but the suit makes you think otherwise. He's obviously very intelligent, and also capable of being a complete salty dumbass jerk. He's sad, and he hurts, but when he's challenged he doesn't back down. He's been watching Ethan's back for a long, long time, and because he didn't get a stupid ending in Fallout, I want to believe he still is.

A word from our sponsor:

If you please, Mr. Cruise:

And I'm so sorry that I've forgotten the source for this one, but it leads me into one of the final, most important points:

DAT ASS

*Janelle Monae's "Yoga" plays loudly and aggressively*

OH HELL YEAH THAT IS MY TWENTY DOLLAR PEACH RIGHT THERE

IV. Thank you!

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope you found it at least a little interesting. Most of this was pieced together from notes I wrote last March that I understood then but past me did not account for future me and so I had to rewrite and rethink some of it. But William Brandt came out of obscurity to conquer my heart and become one of my all-time favorite characters. I sleep with a picture of him next to my bed. Yes I am grown up and pay taxes. This is the form my adulthood has taken.

I'm nervous about coming back to tumblr and still trying to find my footing, but one of the reasons I love fandom and fanfiction because there's so many more stories that can be told outside of the movies., and I want to make them and find them and hear about them. What has Will been doing since the end of RN? Are he and Jane besties? Do they all have movie nights where Benji picks the movie and everyone is like "why have you done this to us?" Let me talk to you about my canon divergence fic where among other things Ilsa is still alive and she and Will are not fond of each other... I personally love Will/Ethan as a ship, and I've dedicated my heart to it (AoT, anyone?), but there's so many options for everyone to pick their favorite character, favorite ship, whatever, and go deeper into them that we get to in the bursts of two to three hours they're on the screen. I'd love to talk with people about them and I'm hoping that I'll get the chance here. And then I can also mention my Mission Impossible dollhouse...

But for now, again, thanks. I really love William Brandt, the end.

[httpknjoon]

(re)starting over again | kth; special chapter

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 1.5k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | the best way to celebrate my birthday is through writing angst lol this is the lastpain for mc and tae for now. see y'all in chapter 11! enjoy reading!

main masterlist | series masterlist

This is probably the closest you two have ever been after the accident. His hand was on your waist while the other held yours. He looked at your eyes looking back at him too. No words were said under the starlit night sky. But it was strangely comfortable this time. He finds it strange not in a bad way. It was strange because slow dancing with you was just so easy. 

How did you even end up in this situation?

Earlier, Taehyung saw you leaving the reception after talking with the newlywed couple. You hugged both Jisoo and Namjoon before he heard you saying you were going. But a lot of guests were still at the reception event, he probably noticed just a few ones going like Julia and her date. Still, everyone is enjoying the celebration when you walk away with your clutch and bouquet of tulips. He followed after you.

“YN,” he called behind you.

You stopped, turning around, “Yes?”

Then, a familiar soft instrumental played in the background, indicating the newlyweds making their first dance inside the venue. As if he hadn’t learned anything from last night, he said the first thing he could,

“Can we dance?”

“Sorry?” you said with an awkward chuckle.

But Taehyung went on. Based on what you said from the night before, this might be his last chance. Might as well take a risk.

He gulped before answering, “Please? Before you go?”

You blinked before sighing, “Okay… Here?”

Taehyung looked around. Since his invite was unplanned, he pointed to the first space he spotted. The space where the wedding ceremony occurred hours ago. The chairs and the whole set-up were still there. You accepted when Taehyung offered his arm to assist you as you two walked to the spot.

“Okay, you put this here. It’s fine.” 

Feeling lighter now, you chuckled when you noticed him being unsure if he should hold your waist. You see his hand lift but he puts it down. So you took it yourself and put it on your waist and just like a long-lost bracelet you wore on your wrist again, his hand on your waist brought waves of nostalgia in you. And Taehyung felt the same thing. Nostalgia. Even though his earliest memory of you is you in his hospital room. Touching you, looking at you, and slow dancing– everything just felt right with you in it.

And he knew that there was something special with you. But he cannot just really point it out now. But he can say how your eyes spark brighter now than last night or days before this.

But I promise you this

I'll always look out for you

Yeah, that's what I'll do

The lyrics play in your head as your thumb draws circles on Taehyung’s shoulder. His soft gaze can surely make you melt but you knew you needed to be strong. 

Looking at Taehyung in this light reminds you of how much he made you love slow dancing. Before meeting him, you always thought it was too cheesy. But this man would always pull your hand to sway you in a song he played or hummed. He would do it unexpectedly; in the times you didn’t know you needed it. And God knows how much you need it now even though the Taehyung in front of you didn’t know anything about these endless memories you have with him.

“And if I accidentally step on your toe?” you asked randomly when he pulled you in for a slow dance on a random Wednesday night.

He smiled as he shook his head, “Don’t worry, you won’t.”

“I will,” you said, looking down to watch your feet.

“My love,” he calls for you, softly pulling your chin up so you can meet his eyes. “You know me so well and so do I to you.”

“So?” you asked, pursing your lips.

“It means we have this wonderful connection and understanding to one another. You can just look into my eyes to know what my next move is. You’ll feel it.” he rested his forehead on yours before he whispered, “Just follow what you feel.”

Now, slow dancing with Taehyung is a bittersweet reminder for you of old memories you’ve been wanting to have again. You miss slow dancing at the most unanticipated time of your day. You miss his blueberry cheesecake. You miss opening your eyes in the morning, just to be greeted by his puckered lips and small snores. You miss hearing old jazz, coming back home. You miss drinking tea with him late at night while talking about each other’s day. You just miss him.

Although the moon and stars are your only light at the moment, Taehyung can see the glistening in your eyes, along with pain and sadness. You turned your head down while biting your lower lip as tears began slipping down. Gently, Taehyung places his chin above your head, listening to your quiet sobs, as you sway along the soft melody in the background. A crack was beginning to form in his heart, and he felt helpless. He wished that the accident just never happened. He knew you and what you two had was more than special. It’s awful to get you through this hurt.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered the words he knew he should say, voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”

He whispered it over and over again, hoping it could make what you feel less heavy, as he planted kisses on your hair. You just listened to his apologies, closing your eyes. Tears continuously slipped down your cheeks. In every sorry he lets out; you nod. It was like your way of telling him that it’s fine. Because he knows that is who you are: patient and understanding. 

“I’m sorry. Let me apologize. I have my faults too from the start.”

You can feel Taehyung’s hand moving from your waist to your back. This time, he’s just hugging you, still swaying.

“I will try harder. Please, please don’t get tired of me yet. I’m sorry.”

This time, you didn’t nod. It took you a few minutes to pull away and look up at him again. Your hands moved from his shoulders down to his arms until you held his hands. It made him feel warm for a second. With tear-stained cheeks, you smiled at him.

“Thank you for this, Taehyung.” you began, softly squeezing his hands. “But I need to go.”

You closed your eyes as Taehyung turned his head down, his heart breaking at the process. You continued,

“I appreciate you trying and giving me a chance to take care of you. But I just really have to go. I need to do this.”

You sniffed, chuckling with a bitter taste in your mouth,  “I really thought I could last months without you saying I love you to me… But how can I do that if you always made me feel loved? I got used to you doing the love part for me that I forgot how to do it myself when you also forgot about me… Now, I needed to learn that on my own.” 

Taehyung is still not meeting your gaze. So you softly lift his chin. Then, you held his cheek with your thumb feeling his cheekbone, comforting him as you told him,

“I’ll go with Julia and Chanyeol tonight since they are driving back home. I’ll make sure I’m gone by the time you get home. Please don’t come after me or contact me. It will be easier for me. We can talk about the house when I get back on my feet again. But for the moment, you can do whatever you want with– Please don’t cry, Tae.” Your voice shakes when tears run down her cheeks. “Please. We need to be apart,”

“A-Am I going to see you again?” he murmured, in a sob.

You pursed your lips before answering, “I don’t know. I honestly hope so. I hope our roads cross sometime, someday.”

Taehyung’s lips formed into a frown and he closed his eyes, tears just streaming freely. When he opens his eyes, he sees you staring at him endearingly with the same sadness in your eyes. With his cheek still in your palm, you stepped closer. Taehyung can feel his heart beating heavier but faster. Everything around him is silent except for the rustling of the leaves nearby and he can only focus on you. He can feel knots being formed in his stomach as your other hand holds his chest. Your touch simply brings warmth and coziness to him. You leaned in slowly and Taehyung closed his eyes. 

Soft and sweet. Those were the first words in his head as he felt your lips on his. He felt a spark of electricity in his system at that moment. It felt right and perfect. He wanted to touch you and pull you closer but you pulled away before he even could. It felt long and short at the same time. Unexpectedly, you two both had tears slipping down your cheeks. His heartbeats were loud, he feared you even heard it. Your lips quivered as you told him with a heavy heart,

“I love you. I love you so much than you could remember, Taehyung.”

With that, you turned your back and walked away.

taglist rules

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

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[letsgetrowdy43]

Can you do fantilli x Hughes sister draft day maybe?

Need you there—

Au Masterlist!!

"It's yours and your family's big day Adam, you've worked your ass off for all of it, I really don't want to intrude on it," she said quietly as her fingers raked through his hair. A content smile danced on her lips as his hand squeezed her upper thigh, his eyes held a pleading look as he caught her gaze.

"You wouldn't be imposing," he stopped his thoughts to place a short kiss to the inside of her thigh, "I promise you, I want you there," he lifts his head off of her lap, a sincere look on his face as he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her shoulder, "it would mean everything to me if you were there alongside me and my family, and it would make me a hell of a lot less anxious too" he pleaded.

His fingers now played with her tank top strap as he repeatedly placed sloppy kisses on her jaw, a laugh erupting from her. "You swear you're family will be okay with it?" "Of course," he said in between kisses, his hands cupping her jaw, "They love you, I love you, we want you there," his nose brushing against her as she leaned forward to finally kiss him on the lips, but he backed away slowly to say one last thing. "And even if they didn't, it's my day, and I need you there," he finally gave in and kissed her on the lips.

She smiled into his mouth, fingers gripping at his cotton shirt, she pulled away and nested her forehead against his, “I'll be there," she mumbled as he moved up and once again kissed her sweetly.

ꕥꕥꕥ

The NHL awards ceremony was held in Nashville, two days prior to the draft, it was a nerve-racking day for the Hughes family as they awaited the outcome of the Lady Byng Trophy in hopes of Jack winning. This meant that her attendance at the draft worked out much easier than she had anticipated.

She had gotten herself a maroon-coloured body con dress, that matched his suit, a detail that she and Julia had worked out to make the couple’s outfits more coherent. Adam was at a loss for words when she appeared at his doorway just hours before his name would be called at the 2023 NHL Draft.

Her hair fell just past her shoulders, curled at the ends, and her makeup was done subtly to really bring out her flawless features.

“You look perfect” he stuttered with a grin as he shut the door behind her, his cheeks warm as he really took in how her dress complimented her curves. Hands finding her hips as she spun around to be face to face with him, Y/n smiled up at him before going up on her tiptoes to place a gentle kiss on his lips, “You don't look so bad yourself” she whispered as his smile grew.

Adam took her by the hand and spun her around to admire her one last time, “where are your brothers?” he mumbled as she grinned at his dazed expression. “Luke is with Gavin and Luca by the bus, and the other two are with our parents,” she said fixing the strands of hair falling into his face. He pulled away slightly panicked, “The bus is here?” “Yes but you still have twenty minutes till you have to be down there,” she said softly as she reached into her clutch for a wrapped gift box, “I got you a little draft present for your big day”

She pushed him down onto the hotel bed, Adam looked at her confused as he held his hands out, and she gently placed the box in his palms. “What is it?” “Just open it you dummy,” she grinned as he ripped the wrapping paper off of it, the smile on his face turning into a look of shock as he pulled out a gold chain.

He looked up, biting the inside of his lip as he stared up at Y/n, whose face was laced with pride, “You got this for me?” “It matches the one you got me for Christmas” She grinned as her finger hooked the gold chain around her neck, a tiny “19” charm that hung from it. Adam's face softened as he pulled her into his frame, his hands found her face as he kissed her softly.

"I love you," he mumbled in between kisses as her hands played with the hair at the back of his neck. She pulled away, her hand now on top of his as she intertwined their fingers, "I love you too," she smiled and kissed his temple, "I'm so proud of you, now let's go get you on that bus."

ꕥꕥꕥ

The Fantilli family found their assigned seats, "sit next to him," Luca whispered to Y/n as she shook her head and pushed him in the direction of the seat next to his brother. "You're his brother and best friend, this is your day just as much as his," she grinned and gave him a side hug before taking the seat two chairs down from her boyfriend.

Her three brothers who had also decided to attend the draft while they were still in town came up to the Fantilli's to congratulate Adam on his upcoming placement. Luke grinned at his younger sister as he watched her converse with Julia and Ellen, a small smile on his face as he watched their families mingling and getting along. A happy feeling for her in his chest, even after his short term of disapproval, he knew at this moment that she and Adam were a forever type of love.

Adam sat down by himself as their two families conversed, and stared off into space as he watched the minutes countdown. Y/n watched him from afar giving him a second to take it all in before she moved down a seat to hold his hand, "nervous?" she asked quietly. "It's overwhelming, but I'm so ready," he said, thumb rubbing against her knuckles as he finally looked at her. "This is your dream, enjoy it all," she said smiling before raising their hands to place a kiss on the back of his.

"I'm still not over how good you look in this dress," he whispered as his eyes raked over her once again. "Yeah?" "I don't think there is a single adjective in the English language that could tell you how hot you look in this dress" he laughed as her face heated up. "I would have been happy with a simple beautiful," she said fanning her face to stop any further appearance of being flustered, “you’re so cheesy.” "Beautiful doesn't even begin to cover it" he mused as he squeezed her hand.

An hour had passed and all of the draftees family's found their seats. The time had come. Nashville's head coach walked onto the big stage and started his opening speech, welcoming everyone who made the effort to come out in support of the draft.

It was well known in the hockey community that Adam was projected to go second or third to either the Ducks or the Blue Jackets, so as the general manager for Anaheim walked onto the stage Y/n couldn't help but find herself gripping the arms of her chair tightly, breath caught in her throat as she watched the man make it across the stage and to the microphone just to call out Leo Carlsson’s.

Her hand reached out for Adams as she watched his knee bounce in her peripheral vision. Two minutes now on the clock for the Blue Jackets

Jarmo Kekalainen cleared his throat as he stood in front of the microphone, "With the third pick overall, the Blue Jackets are pleased to pick from the University of Michigan, Adam Fantilli!" he announced over the mic making the entire family stand up with teary-eyes, cheering as Adam broke out into smiles.

He went down the line hugging his brother first, Luca was teary-eyed as he swayed his brother back and forth, then onto his parents who were still in shock. Finally, he made his way up to his girlfriend who smiled softly at him, tears in her eyes as she pulled him into a hug, "Take it all in, love" she whispered as he pulled away and kissed her quick on the mouth. "I love you, see you later" he couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he made his way up to the big stage, trading in his maroon suit jacket for an blue, white and red jersey, posing for photos before heading off for interviews.

"Looks like you're moving to Ohio," Luca laughed, wiping his eyes as he nudged Y/n. "Always knew I was meant for wag life" she mumbled as Luca pulled her into a hug, "I'm so emotional right now," she said still crying into his neck. "Me too," he laughed as the tears came back.

-

-

-

[franki-lew-yo]

inb4 nicer post than my last one:

I saw Chicken Run 2. It's pretty cute. Definitely not as big a letdown or wasted like a Pixar sequel is.

Keep in mind I think I'm one of the few people in existence who's never itching to get sequels and continuations of my fandoms. I never wanted a Finding Nemo sequel and Finding Dory broke my heart in the worst way; by having unlimited potential and squandering it and the characters I love.

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget doesn't do that, happy to say. Mostly it's just underwhelming.

It's weird. I'm definitely not a better writer than these professional writers, I just find myself going "why didn't you have the characters do/say THIS instead? It would still be cinematic and in character". I'd have to rewatch to give you a play-by-play of exactly what I mean. Overall I'd call that a nitpick. Bigger criticisms, especially when this is a sequel to a 20 y old film with fans who've seen in hundreds of times and know the details:

Hated how they retconed the chicks at the end of the original. You Thanos snapped Bunty and Fowler and possibly some of Rocky and Ginger's children. Also, those little 100% chicks were adorable. I'm okay with Molly being Ginger's only chick, but she'd look adorable as one of these:

Another distracting continuity thing: Rocky gets upset that he can't crow anymore. Even though...he was never a crower. That was Fowler's job. I remember. I get that he's a rooster but my point is that was never a thing Rocky did in the original and that should be been better established as what he does now on the island. Put it among the lines that I think could have very easily been slipped in to make it more digestible; you could have had Rocky say to Ginger, "you gotta let me crow! That's, like, my thing now", implying that he's turned to being the island's crow-er to cope with abandoning his lone-free-ranger lifestyle. See? Small changes of dialogue that can imply so much and give you an idea of all the things you need to know in this newer story.

Even though Fowler did technically do something in the end most of the movie felt annoyed and just there. Really would have liked it if he and Babs were back up and helpful some other way while it was mostly Mac, Bunty, and the rats who went in to save Molly and Rocky. Idk. Maybe it's hard to be the absolute banger of a convenience that is the green aliens and ' the claaaaaw' in Toy Story 3-- needed to utilize him better for the gag and the story is what I'm trying to get at.

Rocky and Ginger's voices were distracting. It's odd because Rocky's is definitely the more noticeably different one that you have to get used to, but I am 100% replacing him considering who was his og voice. I'm mostly mad that in order to free Rocky of the curse they had to take the part away from Julia Sawalha.

This is probably going to controversial here but, um, I really wish Mrs. Tweedy wasn't the Mrs. Tweedy in this. I think it'd be a funnier, more of a "here we go again" gag that they actually find some way to contrive the villain of this movie to be Mrs. Tweedy's relative that just happens to look the same, sound the same AND have the same bloodlust for chickens. Like, the gag is that all of Mrs. Tweedy's family is Officer Jenny/Nurse Joy who are all identical to one another but they're also the Cruella of birds and all have a bumbling husband. Even though it's explained how she got here, it just kind of takes the teeth out of her original defeat and even her one in this film.

I kind of wish Ginger had stayed "colarred" for a longer stretch of time and the rest of the crew had to save her. I feel like Molly being placed in her mother's shoes would have been more dramatic and made the situation all the more dire and dependent on the other characters to think up a plan. Ginger being unable to do anything or "broken" would change it up a bit, provided she still makes the final save in the end.

That pop song during the 'Molly-growing-up' montage was bad and didn't suit the time period and vibe of the movie. It really took me out. Just play that in the end credits.

Mr. Fry never appeared again in his creepy chicken man suit and I kind of really liked the idea of this creeeeeepy farmer basically wanting to be friends with the chickens while dressing as one because he thinks he's more connected to them that way. But no that's just for one scene.

I was also expecting Mr. Fry to turn on Mrs. Tweedy as he noticed her obviously flirting with Reginald. Having the ending twist be that he assists the chickens in their escape or lives among them in a horrific chicken suit with the chickens taking advantage of this would have been right at home.

that's all I got.

[mirasmirages]

Soulmates

Written for @winterbreakadvent

James belongs to @starliight-whump

Contains: nightmares, magic, rejection, magic, aftermath of torture, cauterization, soulmates

3698 words

James had had nightmares for as long as he could remember.

The first big one was when he was five, a dream about fire surrounding him, taller than he was, with no way out. He woke himself screaming and coughing, and it took his parents all night to help him calm down.

For months after that, he dreamt of loss. He didn't know what he had lost, but he was sure it was something important. Something irreplaceable.

His sister had dreams too, but hers were usually fun dreams, about talking to animals and going on adventures. She could go on for hours about her dreams, and when she did, their parents would smile and say her soulmate must live an interesting life.

When James told them about his dreams, they looked sad, and told him it was just a dream. 

Over the years, he learned not to talk much about his nightmares. Most of them weren't very interesting, anyway. They were normal, about going to school or being with his family, but there was always an underlying sense of dread. An invisible monster waiting to jump out at him. But people didn't understand, and he could tell it made his family sad to hear him talk about it, so he stopped.

-

Julia had a party for her twelfth birthday, and one of her friends gifted her a book of spells. It had a blue cover with gold foil details, and all the spells had to do with soulmates. There were ways to find your soulmate, to contact your soulmate, and even to break the soulmate bond. 

James was fourteen, and didn't believe in magic. There was no evidence that it was possible to contact your soulmate before you met them. Still, he sat with the girls as they paged through the book and settled on a double page spread that looked a lot like a Ouija board, but was just called a "communication board."

He watched as they each tried to contact their soulmate and either be disappointed or pretend it worked. It wasn't the least bit convincing, but he played along to be nice.

Everyone had a turn, and James thought they were finally done, when Julia's friend Mary turned on him.

"James has to do it too," she said, and all the girls agreed, pestering him until he sat down in front of the book.

It felt stupid, but they all looked so excitedly at him, he didn't want to disappoint them. So with the tiniest roll of his eyes, he started spelling out a message with his fingers.

"No, James," Julia interrupted. "You have to do it for real!"

"I am doing it for real!" James argued. What he was doing was as real as what everyone else had done!

"No, you're not! You have to mean it!"

James huffed in annoyance. "Fine."

He took a deep breath and put away his annoyance at all of this. He loved his sister, even if she was a stupid little twelve-year-old, so he could do this for her. He thought about his soulmate, and who they might be. What could be happening in their life to send him a neverending string of nightmares. When he met them, he would do everything he could to save them from that. Maybe, if this worked, he could start saving them now.

He released his breath, and started spelling out a message.

Hello

My name is James

I'm your soulmate

He waited for a reply, and even if he didn't believe it would come, he still hoped. He was still disappointed when none came.

"See?" he said, voice going hard to mask his hurt. "It's not real. I knew it wouldn't work."

-

Julia stopped playing with the book after a few weeks, and somehow it made it's way onto James's shelf. He mostly ignored it, because it was stupid, but sometimes, when the nightmares were bad, or when he was sad about something in his own life, he would pull it out and trace his fingers over the letters. Little messages he wished he could tell his soulmate. Stories from his life when he had no one else to tell, or that he hoped he would find them soon. That he loved them. 

Like a secret diary that no one could read, he traced out messages to his soulmate. The nightmares grew worse, a new flavor of fear from before.

One night, when James was eighteen, he woke up in the middle of the night, the sound of a gunshot ringing in his ears.

He pulled the book out from under his mattress with shaking hands and opened it in his lap, taking deep breaths to calm down.

Are you okay?

He spelled the question out with his fingers, wishing more than anything that he would get a reply. Wishing that magic was real so that he could magically bring his soulmate to his room where they would be safe.

And then, for the first time, something happened.

Gold swirled in the air in front of him, spelling out glittering handwritten letters.

STOP

Oh.

James choked on a sob.

It wasn't that his soulmate hadn't gotten his messages.

It was that they didn't want them.

He closed the book and put it back under his mattress.

His soulmate didn't want to hear from him.

He hid under his blanket and cried.

-

That message from his soulmate was the most painful thing James had ever felt. He skipped school the next day and stayed in bed, alternating between feeling devastated and furious. How could they not want to hear from him? Wasn't the whole point of having a soulmate that they would be perfect for each other?

He stewed over this for weeks, refusing to talk about it to anyone. His parents worried about his sudden bad mood, but he didn't explain, just muttered something about nightmares until they left him alone.

It was such a bizarre idea that his soulmate didn't want to talk to him, and once he was able to see through his own hurt, he started to wonder, was it something he had done? His soulmate sent him a steady stream of nightmares, but James hadn't given much thought to what he might be sending in return. Maybe his life was so boring his soulmate wanted nothing to do with it.

He decided that if his soulmate didn't want to hear from him, he would respect that. But since there was no way to stop their dream connection, he decided that instead of messages, he would send his soulmate good dreams every night, to make up for whatever horrible life they were leading.

He took up running, and spent time exploring the outdoors so that his soulmate might see it too. He kept practicing his piano playing even when life got busy, in the hopes that his soulmate would hear. He ate good food, and had fun experiences, and kept his own life from being too stressful so that he would never be the one sending nightmares. 

Even through his increasingly bad nightmares, James managed to lead a good life. He went to college, and then med school, and then got a residency at a hospital near his family. He got a car, and a house. The blue book stayed on his shelf, and sometimes he would flip through it, but he never sent another message to his soulmate after they asked him to stop.

-

He woke up in the middle of the night, rolling out of bed and barely made it two steps before he fell to his knees and threw up.

For a second he thought about cleaning up, or calling someone, but then his body seized with pain, and all he could do was lay there, curled up, his body screaming with pain.

He was going to die.

No. Worse.

His soulmate was dying.

-

It felt like hours before he was able to move again, the scorching pain subsiding, making room in his body for cold and exhaustion.

James pushed himself onto his hands and knees, and made his way to the bookshelf with the book. His hands shook at he pulled it from the bottom shelf. It opened in his lap to the communication board page.

His soulmate had asked him to stop, and he had respected that, but this was different. He put his fingers on the page and traced a message.

Are you okay?

For a long minute, there's no reply.

Are you alive?

Again, no answer.

Please be alive

Please

Just give me a sign

Anything, please

Please

Please

Please

Over and over, he traced the letters, increasingly desperate when no reply came. 

He was sobbing, tears soaking the paper, when suddenly, there was a gold shimmer in the air. There were no letters, but that was his soulmate, giving him a sign. James wiped his tears on his sleeve and traced out more messages.

Where are you?

There were more golden swirls, but no words, so James tried again.

I want to help you. How can I help?

He watched as the gold struggled to make sense. There were squiggly lines that dissolved as soon as they arrived, but then, finally, it managed to spell out a message.

I'm fine

"You're not fine!" James shouted at the words hanging in the air in front of him. His soulmate was dying, and they still wouldn't let him help!

Why wouldn't they let him help? James couldn't understand it, it was so heartbreaking and infuriating. And, he decided, it wasn't their choice.

He flipped through the pages of the book, until he found the right one.

There were a lot of spells in the book. Some were simple and innocent enough, like the communication board. Others were more complex, and claimed to let you see through your soulmate's eyes, or hear through their ears, or to take their place. That was the one James turned to now. Maybe, if it worked, he could find out where his soulmate was, and then he could go there and help. 

If not, well. It had to work.

He got to his feet and started gathering materials. Bowls and herbs from the kitchen, candles from the living room, rowan twigs from outside.

It didn't take long to set up, but every second was another second where his soulmate was alone and dying. When he finally had a small altar set up like the book instructed, he used a candle to light the twigs and herbs on fire, and then he closed his eyes and tried to meditate.

He pushed everything else from his mind and focused only on his soulmate. Remembering the pain he had been in earlier, he invited it back, feeling the leftover pain weighing down his soulmate's body, until their bodies merged and he could feel the cold concrete floor pushing against his cheek.

Opening his eyes, he found himself in a dark basement, only lit by the moonlight shining through a small dirty window.

In the middle of the room was a single chair that had been knocked over.

Groaning, James made himself sit up and take stock of his soulmate's injuries. The pain was stronger in this body, but it was less diffuse. He could feel the bruising in his gut, which were different from the burns on his shoulder, which were different from the cut on his arm.

The arm is the most worrisome. It was still bleeding, slow waves of dark blood in time with his heartbeat. There was a puddle of blood on the floor, and James didn't know how much blood this body had lost. He needed to deal with this immediately.

He used the chair to push himself to his feet. His vision blacked out. When it finally came back to him, his eyes fell on a table under the window. If he could, he would throw up.

It almost looked like the tools laid out for surgery, except that instead of sterile and precise instruments, these were knives, pliers, a hammer, a blowtorch, all covered in varying amounts of blood.

How did his soulmate end up in this situation? Why did James leave them alone for so long, just because they asked? If he had just kept messaging, kept asking, maybe this could have been avoided.

Gritting his teeth, he scanned the room for anything he could use to treat the wound. There wasn't much. Whoever had done this had barely even left his soulmate with clothes on, just a pair of boxer shorts. No belt that could be used for a tourniquet. Even if he had a tourniquet, he doubted he would have the strength to tighten it enough.

There was a sink that turned on pretty easily. James splashed some water on his face and drank a little, then tried to clean some of the blood from the wound.

He went back to the table of torture instruments and didn't quite admit to himself what he was about to do. It wasn't a good option, but it was the best he had.

He picked the cleanest knife in the lineup and turned on the blowtorch. At least his soulmate wouldn't have to be the one to experience this additional piece of torture. The metal of the knife glowed red, and then white along the edge.

Holding his breath, with no hesitation, James pressed the flat side of the knife against the wound.

His gritted teeth were not enough to hold back the scream. There was a sizzling sound, and the smell of cooking meat, and a level of pain he had never experienced before. His eyes were screwed shut, but he had to open them to see if it worked.

It wasn't pretty, but when he lifted the knife away, the wound was no longer bleeding.

He dropped the knife on the table and sank to the floor, dry heaving and sobbing uncontrollably.

It took a surprisingly short time to calm down, maybe a minute or so. This body was too exhausted to sustain his panic, and in a way, maybe that was a good thing.

The heat of the knife kept burning into his arm still. James sat on the floor staring into the air.

There was a door on the other side of the room. Slowly, he realized that this hadn't just happened to his soulmate, someone had done it. Which meant that they might come back. Which meant that James had to get out.

How much longer would he be able to stay in this body? Getting to his feet was enough to make his vision go black again, and he had to hold on with everything he had to not disappear. He barely made it across the floor, and when he reached the door, he realized he had no idea how to break the lock.

It turned out he didn't have to. The door was unlocked, and swung open on unwilling hinges.

The door opened to the outside, concrete stairs leading up from the basement. He climbed them on hands and feet, and didn't let himself collapse when he reached the top, no matter how much he wanted to. He was out, but he was far from safe.

He was outside a small house with broken windows and peeling paint. There was a gravel road leading up to it, and he couldn't see any other houses, just sparse trees and nothing. He couldn't see a car or other signs of people.

It would be a long walk from here to wherever he could get help. James wouldn't know who would be safe to ask for help if he did find someone. Still, he had to get away from here, so he put one foot in front of the other, and started walking away from the house.

He got three steps before everything started spinning, and he fell to his knees, catching himself hard with his hands, and he woke up in front of his little altar.

-

The bowls he had burned the herbs in were filled with water. While James had been in his soulmate's body, his soulmate must have been in his, and they--he?--had extinguished the fire and ended the ritual.

James lay back on the floor and covered his face with his hands. 

It had worked. He had used a ritual from the book, and it had worked, and he had, hopefully, helped save his soulmate's life.

He rolled to his side and reached for the book, flipping it to the communication board.

Are you okay?

The air shimmered in front of him like blotchy ink before spelling out,

Thank you

-

Despite how exhausted he was, James didn't think he could sleep, and staying home all day with nothing to do didn't seem like a good idea, so he took a long shower and went to work.

It was a struggle to focus on work, which was bad when not being focused could mean injuring or killing a patient. Still, James was used to working long hours, and this wasn't that much worse than the end of a 28-hour shift.

He was taking a short break outside when an ambulance came in. There were nurses running out to meet it, but James went a bit closer too, in case they needed an extra set of hands.

The ambulance workers rolled the gurney out of the car, and James felt like his heart was going to stop. He didn't know much about what his soulmate would look like, but he knew one thing. 

The burn on his arm where James had pressed the knife.

James stumbled closer, getting a look at the man's bruised. He gripped the side of the gurney so tight his knuckles went white.

"Excuse me, Doctor?" one of the nurses said. 

James barely heard her.

She touched his arm, pulling him back to reality. He looked at her, then back to his soulmate.

His soulmate was here, alive, in his hospital.

James had saved him.

His soulmate's face was bruised and swollen, it barely hinted at how handsome it must have been before last night. He was awake, watching James with a frown, and then his eyes widened in recognition, and he turned, trying to get away.

James should be used to this by now. It wasn't the first time his soulmate had rejected him.

Still, it hurt.

He lets a nurse lead him away, to a staff room where he sat on an uncomfortable couch while trying to process the fact that even when they met face to face, his soulmate rejected him.

Why would he do that? How could he? James's mind was filled with white noise, but the questions still pushed their way to the surface. How was it possible that James had spent his entire life wanting to meet his soulmate, while his soulmate wanted nothing to do with him?

He took the rest of the day off, and the day after, but he didn't go home. Instead, he sat in the waiting room, hoping his soulmate would change his mind about not wanting to see him.

At the end of the second day, he was losing hope, and by the third day he was considering if he should give up and go home. 

There was a ritual in the book for severing a soulmate bond. Just the thought of it brought fresh tears to his eyes, but maybe that would be the kindest thing James could do for his soulmate.

He buried his face in his hands and tried to imagine it. Not having any more nightmares, and not having anyone out there who would be perfect for him. 

"Hi, uh, Doctor Kennedy?"

James looked up at the nurse in front of him. There had been a few of them, checking on him every few hours while he had been in the waiting room.

"I'm okay," James said, wiping a sleeve across his face.

"That's good to hear," the nurse said. "But it's not that. The patient says you can see him, if you still want to."

-

James entered the room after a hesitant knock at the door. He had no idea what to expect, if his soulmate had really changed his mind or if he was just going to tell James to get lost one last time.

His soulmate was asleep in bed. Next to the bed sat a woman, with brown curls and red lips.

James's heart sank. Was that his soulmate's girlfriend? His wife? What was James supposed to do if his soulmate turned out to be married to someone else?

She looked up and smiled at him. "Are you James?" she asked.

He nodded silently.

"Henry told me you saved him. Thank you."

Henry. That was his soulmate's name. James nodded again, taking a few steps closer. 

Henry looked better now, after his skin was cleaned and his wounds bandaged. The swelling had calmed down a bit, showing the shape of his face more, but the bruises had darkened since the last time James had seen him. 

"He's awake," the woman said, and poked Henry in his side to make him flinch. "He's just being stubborn."

She stood, and held a hand out to James, who took it.

"I'm Maya," she said. "I'm Henry's friend. I'm sorry you have to meet him like this."

That was his name again. James finally knew his soulmate's name! He smiled, and looked at Henry, who scowled at him.

Maya shook her head and gently smacked Henry's arm. "Be nice." She turned back to James. "He's not so bad if you give him a chance," she said. "I'll give you two a chance to talk."

She left, and James took her seat next to the bed. He looked at Henry, and Henry looked back, with wonderful hazel green eyes. This was his soulmate, and James knew his name now, and the color of his eyes, and he was alive. James smiled, and he could feel his eyes fill with tears.

"Hi," he said

Henry's voice was rough when he replied. 

"Hi."

[hughjidiot]

Total Drama Level Up Finale Sneak Peek

Life is still more than a little crazy for me right now, but I am getting work done on the finale of Total Drama Level Up. Here's a brief preview for you all.

After nearly a week, the storm over southern Toronto had finally broken. The gray clouds that once choked the sky had broken into small clusters, allowing the morning sun to shine through for the first time in days. The rain itself had ended sometime in the night, its only remaining evidence being swollen run gutters and puddles that dotted the landscape, soon to be evaporated by the heat of the summer.

Zee took all of this in as he sat at one of the tables in the cafeteria, glancing out the window as he picked at some waffles and took the occasional sip of soda. The silence was broken by the squeaking hinges of the entrance door swinging open; Zee looked over and offered a small smile.

“Morning, dude,” Zee said to Damien, who paused on his way past the table.

“Morning Zee,” Damien said after a moment. “You uh, doing okay? After last night and all.”

Zee sipped his soda and shrugged. “Eh. Still kinda sucks not having Lauren around, but at least I’ll get to see her later today, so I can’t complain too much.”

Damien nodded, hands in his pockets. “Yeah, I gotcha. Listen, I know we haven’t talked much this season, but I wanted to say sorry about Scary. I meant what I said yesterday; I have my issues with her, but I have nothing against you.”

“You’re good, brah. This is just how the game goes. And I know Lauren gets… pretty intense sometimes, and she got a little competitive this year. But deep down, she’s a cool girl.”

Damien shrugged. “Well, she can’t be all bad if she wound up with someone like you. Speaking of which, I’ve been meaning to ask for three days: how did that happen?”

“Well, it started with her wanting to hear about how I lost my leg. Then we just started hanging out, watching movies, getting to know each other…” Zee paused for another sip of soda, blushing faintly. “Then when I saved her from Zombie Robot Caleb, she just up and kissed me. Caught me off guard, not gonna lie. I did a lot of thinking that night about the time we’d spent together, and realized how like, nice it felt to be with her. So the next morning I went looking for her to ask how she felt, turns out she liked me back and… Here we are.”

Damien nodded along with Zee’s speech, noting the sincerity in his tone. As odd as it still felt to hear someone speaking so fondly of Lauren, Damien couldn’t deny the two seemed happy together. And who knew? Maybe Zee’s chill nature would help curb some of Lauren’s intensity. (Or at least, Damien hoped, direct it towards anyone but him.)

“Well I’m happy for you,” he finally said. “Like you said, at least you’ll get to see her today.”

“That’s right.” Zee cracked an amused smile. “And hey, at least you won’t have to face her for the million, right?”

Damien chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, I wasn’t thrilled at the prospect. On that note: nothing personal, but I’m fighting like hell for that prize.”

“I’d expect nothing less, brah. Do what you gotta do, so will I, and may the best player win.”

“Thanks, I’d planned on it.”

Zee and Damien looked up at the familiar scratchy voice. They’d been so engrossed in their conversation they hadn’t noticed MK enter the cafeteria and saunter up to them.

“Last chance to back out now and spare yourselves the humiliation of losing to me,” MK said with a smug smile

Damien barked out a laugh, crossing his arms. “You wish. I got this far; I’m seeing this through to the end.”

“Me too, and I’ve got a lady to win for,” Zee said, holding his soda can over his heart.

“Ooh, the power of love,” MK snickered. “What’s next? You gonna take me down with a Care-Bear Stare? Team up with the others to blast me with a friendship rainbow?”

“Big talk from someone that needed Julia and Scary Girl’s help to even make the finale,” Damien said with a smirk.

MK smirked right back. “Maybe I did. But in the end I’m here and they aren’t.”

[willsimpforanyone]

Jason x Daughter of Hecate

Jason and reader slowly falling in love but Jason is with Piper

ooo interesting okay let's do this

--------------------------------------

"You're sparkling again."

I shook my head, self-consciously grabbing at the sparks flitting around my head. "Shut up, I can't help it."

My sister, Julia, rolled her eyes. "Get it under control, you know you don't have a chance."

Across the arena, Jason sat with his girlfriend, Piper, arm round her shoulders and her head on his. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and my heart squeezed painfully.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." I hated it but Piper was so lovely, always friendly when we'd spoken. I had the uncomfortable feeling that she knew about my crush on her boyfriend- Aphrodite magic, probably. Maybe just girlfriend intuition. "Doesn't mean I can't appreciate the view." I winked at Julia who lightly smacked my arm.

"Behave, he's looking over."

My eyes flicked back to Jason, who was waving a hello. Piper, too.

I waved back, smiling easily as I matched him. Gods, he looked so good on clear days. Not that he didn't look good other days, there was just something special about days when you could see the sky clearly and the air was fresh. Oh, I had it bad.

***

A few days later, I was practicing archery. Something that required my focus, couldn't get distracted.

"Hey!"

My arrow went wide, thudding into a tree rather than the target. I spun round. "Jason, what the fuck?"

He held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't think you'd immediately let go of the shot."

I rolled my eyes, but grinned. "You could at least have guided it to the target."

Jason handed me another arrow from my quiver on the floor. "Okay, shoot it and I'll make it up to you."

I raised an eyebrow, but accepted the arrow when he wiggled it. Setting up the shot, I became acutely aware of him when he stepped up just by my side, hand outstretched.

"Whatcha doing there, Jas?"

"Easier to see the bullseye when I'm more in front of it, this okay?"

I swallowed, pushing down the thought that I could feel how warm he was. "Yep, all good, let's go, teamwork."

Trying to aim as best I could, I let the arrow fly. There was the barest breeze that brushed my arm from Jason's outstretched hand, and the arrow landed solidly in the bullseye.

"Teamwork!" He nudged my shoulder. "Am I forgiven?"

***

The campfire was low, most of the younger campers were asleep. I was playing with some ribbons of magic, twirling pink and purple around my fingers.

Someone sat down beside me.

I sighed. "Where were you?"

Jason shifted on the bench, looking down. "I'm sorry, Piper and I got into an argument, I didn't want to leave in the middle of a fight."

I hated that I didn't blame him. He was with his girlfriend, that made sense. He didn't want to leave in the middle of a fight, that also made sense.

Didn't mean I wasn't pissed off that he'd left me sitting by myself when he promised he'd go to the campfire with me. A small thing, maybe, but I hadn't seen him much the last week, and even if I couldn't be with him I still wanted to hang out with him.

I loved him.

"What was the fight about?"

Jason sighed, dragging a hand down his face. "Uh, Piper... she thinks you... like me, or something. Like, like like me. I told her you didn't, but she said she just knew."

I was frozen beside him. "...Oh yeah? She knew, huh?"

"What- what do you mean?" Jason turned so he was facing me. I stared adamantly into the smouldering fire. My magic ribbons were knotting themselves into loops, twisting comfortingly around my arm.

"Um, she's not wrong, you know." Natural sources of light, like candles, make people open up. That's why we have candles in the cabin, I recited in my head. That's the only reason I told him. Not because this may be my chance. Maybe. "I'm pretty obvious, Jas. Jules has been smacking me every time she caught me staring at you."

Jason was silent, but I could feel his eyes locked on me. Shit, what did I just do? He was still with Piper, they just had a fight, just because I like him doesn't mean he likes me, have I just cost myself one of my closest friendships because I couldn't keep my mouth shut?

"...She also said I liked you." Jason whispered. I moved not a muscle. "She wasn't... angry. She said it kind of resigned, like she'd already given up."

Weird way for a fight to go. I said nothing.

"I was sure you didn't like me, but I couldn't... I couldn't do her the disrespect of lying to her face." Jason's hands were clasped together, a sign of stress. It was weirdly endearing. "Because I do. Like you, I mean. Like, a lot. I loved Piper, I did, I do. But we keep getting into petty arguments and we're more distant than ever and I keep wanting to go to you but I can't because I have a girlfriend and I would never, ever do that to Pipes."

I turned to Jason now, careful not to touch him in case I scared him off or sent him the wrong message.

"Jas, I know you wouldn't. She knows you wouldn't. She's, and I am somewhat loathe to say this, a lovely person. But she's right. I do like you." I gave a slight smile. "Like, like like you."

I got a small grin as I parroted his words back to him.

Jason nodded. "Okay, good to know."

I laughed gently. "'Good to know'? You gonna write that down for analysis or something?" I teased. He rolled his eyes and nudged my shoulder.

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

"Yeah," I murmured, allowing my face to soften and let my adoration be seen. "Yeah, I know."

Jason sighed. "Guess I've gotta talk to Piper, huh?"

I nodded. "Not tonight, Jas, both of you have to calm down from earlier." I shrugged. "The two of us don't have to happen until you're ready, okay?"

He gave me a genuine smile. "Yeah, yeah, okay." He stood, and looked down at me. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

I returned the smile and nodded, watching him walk off to the Zeus cabin. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon.

Someday soon.

----------------------------------

i really hope you enjoyed! thank you for requesting!

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Did you finish the S2 of the Total Drama Reboot (all the eps are out already) ? I did and while the season started strong the ending flopped badly imo.

Incoming spoilers (and long rant) if you haven't watched it yet:

The winner is not it I'm sorry. Wayne is a cool character but he had zero stand outs moments to justify his win. They tried to recreate Owen's win in Island but at least Owen was really strong in some challenges (including destroying the main villain Heather in the final 3 challenge). Wayne literally flopped hard in almost all of the challenges this season and then got hard carried by his best friend's boyfriend in the final 3 for his win. Also I don't understand how he got so many enthusiastic supporters when Raj and Bowie were the only characters he interacted with from that group, especially cause he didn't even need them as Bowie literally did almost all the work for him by himself.

Julia dominated this season but it felt hollow, she quite literally had no opposition left after she got Bowie booted off. Imagine if Heather got booted in the middle point of World Tour and Alejandro just freely dominated his way into a final 3 with the likes of DJ and Cody (which he somehow would've still lost just to have one of the good guys win). That's pretty much how I felt about the final 3 from this season. Mkulia (and their cheating conflict with Bowraj) did carry the first half, so I'm gonna give them that.

Priyaleb literally got turned into a Skave 2.0 with their flip floppity mess drama just without the "Keith" plot point at the end to bomb out their relationship completely. They turned Priya into a Courtney knock-off who's more obsessed with revenge and winning (even tho she already won a season) than her own boyfriend. She even seems to despise Caleb's personality and is only in love with the idea of having a hot boyfriend (just like Courtney seemed in love with the thrill of being with a bad boy than Duncan himself and we know how that relationship ended up). Honestly if they bring up this couple for another season they're def gonna have a huge messy break up, I just don't see them lasting with the way they've been portrayed in these last S2 eps.

Ngl but I actually enjoyed Ripaxel, even tho they were just the gross comedic relief side couple. Surprisingly Ripper treated Axel like a Queen (unlike Caleb who just kept embarrassing his girl over and over on international tv) and Axel stopped abusing him completely after they started dating, so they're unironically one of the healthiest TDI couples so far. And even tho they're the horny couple at least Ripper really does seem to have genuine feelings for her unlike Priya for Caleb.

And I really hated the Hockey Bros flanderization this season. Last season they were dumb himbos but they were still very competent in the team challenges, heck arguably the best overall from their team. But this season they literally got turned into man children who probably wouldn't be able to cross the street without Bowie around to take them by their hands. Which literally didn't make sense at all when this season was supposed to focus more on them than the last one.

They really had Millie go crazy in that one ep and almost kill Damien just to win a challenge, but honestly I kinda dig that. Her team was so boring that they needed at least one (secretly) unhinged member.

Bowie was clearly weaker as a character this season but he still served. Scary Girl was technically in only 2 episodes and you know she still SERVED. I didn't really care about the other characters this season tbf.

So overall it might still not be the worst season (I mean All Stars and Pahkitew still exist) but season 1 of the Reboot was def superior imo. While I'm not opposed to at least some of this cast coming back in a future season I really hope they create a new cast beforehand if they get the greenlight for new seasons cause they're already exhausting all the plotlines for this one and some of them already started to become flanderized. At the very least they should add new characters and change the location to shake things up if they still want to go ahead with this cast.

So Yes, I did finish Season 2

And much like season 1 I found it mid. I think Season 1 ended stronger, but started pretty weak. While Season 2 was the reverse

I did think it had a promising start, I even liked how Priya and Kaleb were set up for the drama. But after the reveal it kind of... fizzled out. Like they could have milked the drama more and Priya had a right to want revenge but Priya was never such a super angry revenge person before and it felt weird.

They turned Caleb into a complete idiot after they resolved the arc. He was smart, just not game show savvy. That was his thing.

I wouldnt call it anywhere CLOSE to the atrocity that was Skave. But it was a lot less fun. At least Priya calmed down at the end.

But the moment the season went down hill for me was when Damien got eliminated.

I really felt they were setting him up for something good in the character arc department but they didnt. I knew he was doomed the moment he found the immunity idol but it would have been a nice inversion to have HIM use it.

And lets be real, I didnt care about the final 3 at all, I knew Julia wasnt going to win because lets face it she is basically Diet Heather.

They even did something to her hair like Heather.

As for Wayne winning. I didnt care, it was going to be him or Caleb.

Season 2 could have used more Scary Girl. Every scene she was in was gold.

I also appreciated the tasteful cameos of Owen. MacArthur and the Tennis pros.

It wasnt anything awful, but i did find it fizzled out in the later half.

[elisysd]

33. You're scared of love, well, aren't we all?

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Vertigo - Griff

It had been a while since she had taken a flight home alone. She had tried calling Ethan, she had tried texting, had even resorted to calling Ludwig but nothing had worked when it came to reach Ethan. So she dragged her suitcases to the airport on her own and flew back home.

She arrived at her mom’s house, earlier than what Lyanna expected and when she welcomed her, completely exhausted, she didn’t hesitate to take her daughter in her arms. Julia didn’t need to explain anything and she was grateful for it. Her mom always knew when something was wrong but never had been one to rush her to talk. She made her late lunch and tried to divert her attention by talking about the wedding.

“I thought you would choose the red dress. You’ll look beautiful in gold, but red is your color.” said her mom, serving her a glass of orange juice.

“I gave it a second thought and I’ll go with the red… I don’t know why I chose gold in the first place.” she mumbled, feeling her eyes water.

“I also called the vinery in Tuscany to know if we could go there to visit and have a better idea of everything. Are you still coming with me?”

“Sure. It will do me some good, being away from the tracks.”

“Julia, I didn’t want to ask but… you look pale, darling. You know that you can tell me everything.”

“I know… It’s nothing, don’t worry. Just a bigger wave in a sea that is usually calm.”

Lyanna frowned and bit her lip, knowing full well that her daughter wasn’t telling her even half of the truth but didn’t insist. Instead, she opened her inspiration board on her laptop to show Julia her ideas for activities they could do. From hiking to karting and even wine tasting, Julia understood quickly that their parents wanted to have fun and that it would be the main mood of the wedding. After browsing websites after websites and scribbled down phone numbers and addresses, it was close to the late afternoon. The weather was warm and it was the perfect time for a run. Julia went back to her room to put her gym clothes on and decided to take Bailey to run with her. She kissed her mother’s cheek, promising her that she would be back for dinner, right on time as her dad would be back soon.

Bailey was excited to spend time with Julia and started to wiggle her tail while turning around the young woman as she was tying her shoes. Finally, she was ready to go. Running down the streets, Bailey right beside her, she let her bad thoughts and bad feelings wash away. Ethan and his controlling behavior. Ethan and that no matter how much she wanted to try she didn’t know how to talk to him. She naively thought that after their first kiss and after the night they had spent together, when she felt a real connection with him like never before, everything would get better. That they would be happy and it would be easy. For the first time in her life, she was understanding what her mom and dad were meaning by ‘a relationship doesn't only require love, it needs work’. But was she in a relationship with Ethan? They never really took the time to talk about it. She assumed so. After all, they were kissing even when there were no cameras, they were intimate, they were not pretending anymore. But she still didn’t know if he felt more for her than desire or if he was ready to be in a relationship. She wanted it to work out but she knew that she couldn’t be the only one putting work in it. It would be too much energy and she was not ready to throw her everything if she was not one hundred percent sure he would do so, as well. There were too many unknown parameters, too many variables. And she didn’t want for her heart to be broken, she wouldn’t risk it. Maybe, just maybe after all, Ethan was right when he had told her that making it real would only make everything complicated. It was a mess. A beautiful one, sure, but a mess still. And it had only been a week since their first kiss.

Her burning legs brought her near Ethan’s flat and she wondered for a moment if she shouldn’t try to ring. Maybe he was already back. He hadn’t replied to her text asking him to tell her when he would be back even if she knew he had read it. She looked up to his window before shaking her head and going back from where she was.

When she finally made it home, sweating and out of breath with a Bailey that was still as excited as when they left, her dad’s Ferrari was in a driveway. When she opened the door, she could hear her family’s laughs in the kitchen and her dad showing Louis pictures he had taken from the plane. He quickly noticed his daughter but instead of his usual smile and soft look he always had when it came to her, it was a frown and a surprised face he had on him.

“Julia? I thought you would be back tomorrow. Ethan is still in London.”

She didn’t react straight away. She didn’t know how, she wasn’t aware of this change of plans.

“I wanted to take an early flight. I missed home.” she simply said and left the room before even more questions were raised.

Still, it didn’t prevent her from hearing her dad asking her mom if something had happened with Ethan and Julia tried her best to not let out a scream that would inevitably turn into a cry. When she came back, fresh out of the shower, the table outside was dressed and a salad was ready while her dad was grilling meats on the barbecue. As she was taking place next to Louis,  she noticed how quickly he was typing on his phone with a smile on his face.

“Who are you texting?”

“Ethan.” he shrugged as if it was obvious.

“Oh.. so he is alive.” she commented, more to herself than to Louis.

“Well, if he can answer me, it means that he is breathing. So, yeah he is alive. Why wouldn’t he be?”

“Nevermind.” she said, serving herself some salad and did the same for her brother as her dad was coming back with the grilled sausages and her mom with an apple pie.

“He is asking if you are okay. Should I tell him that you look sad or should I lie?”

“Tell him to ask me that himself.”

Louis didn’t sense the annoyance in her words and obeyed as her mom looked at her weirdly before shooting a glance to her husband.

“He says that he will talk to you when you have made up your mind.”

“Made up my mind about what? Not coming with him to the next races? He can go fuck himself, gosh. He knows why I’m not coming!”

“Julia, language.” her mom reprimanded her. “And Louis, don’t text Ethan. We are eating and Julia and him have obviously issues to solve, as adults, that you don’t and shouldn’t be involved with.”

There was a little silence during which Julia angrily cut her meat, mumbling profanities about Ethan.

“He said that if you are up for it, the fucking part can be organised quickly.”

Julia let her fork fall on the floor as her dad was coughing loudly after his wine went down the wrong way and her mom had a shocked face as she watched Louis who was totally unbothered by the chaos he created.

“What does he mean?”

“Nothing, Louis. Don’t worry about it.” Julia added quickly, avoiding her parents' gaze on her and trying to not think about how she was feeling herself shamingly blushing.

“So, the next upgrades for the Ferrari are still on for Buenos Aires?” she asked her dad, as if Louis’ comment never existed and her dad, happy to find a way out of the situation, ended up explaining in detail what her work would bring and their hopes to move forward next.

She woke up the next day with an unexpected text from Kyle telling her that Ethan had been insufferable lately and that they both needed to sort things out. They needed to talk and their plane would land in the late morning, meaning Ethan would be home around noon. Kyle was right, of course. But she wasn’t sure it had to be her that should make the first step. It had always been her lately and a part of her was hoping he would show her that he was as much in this as her. But she also knew how stubborn they both were and if she was waiting for him, it most probably would never happen.

Her dad was in the living room, on a call with some important people in Maranello that was updating him on the results the datas showed with the simulator work from both Martin and Elijah. They tested the new upgrades and it was promising. It made Julia smile and the knot in her stomach a little less tight. When her dad dropped off the call, he seemed relaxed.

“Good news from what I gathered.”

“Reassuring ones, yeah. All thanks to you.”

“Wait before saying that, you know that sometimes the data on the sim and the data on the tracks are different. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“I trust you. I know how hard you worked on them and with the precision the team brought on your ideas, I’m sure we have nothing to worry about.”

“Would it be enough to secure you the P2 in the constructor's standings before the summer break?” she asked, worried and unable to shake out of her mind the threats Carlos had made on his dad.

“One thing at the time, okay?” He was trying to reassure her but she could see that he was worrying as much as her.

“If you need anything just let me know…”

“If you have time today, maybe we could go over the data the factory will send me?”

“I was about to leave to go to see Ethan but when I’ll be back, sure, we can do that.”

She saw the back of her dad stiffen as soon as she mentioned him.

“I don’t want to overstep, Ju… But I just want to make sure he treats you right and that he makes you happy.”

“It’s just a rough patch, dad.”

“Is it, really? Because it looks like you had more rough patches than good ones. Tell me, is it worth it?”

She looked down at her feet, trying to come out with a good answer but she couldn’t seem to find one. Her dad was right and she didn’t want to lie to him. Not anymore.

“I thought it would be but… I’m not sure. We don’t know how to communicate and it seems that every time I try to reach for him he pulls away. One day he is the nicest guy and he makes me happy and then the next, if I do something that displeases him, he shuts me off. He says he doesn’t want me to be perfect but I still feel like I have to be. I don’t know what to do. Am I the problem? Is it me?”

“No, Ju. Any guy would be lucky to be with you. You’re smart, driven, you care about your friends and your family, you are ambitious and hard-working. You are not afraid to speak up your mind, you have the compassion of your mom and when you love, you love fiercely just like her. So, no, you are not a problem and there is nothing wrong with you.”

“You made me sound perfect…”

“You are not. You are stubborn, you never want to admit when you are wrong and you have the tendency to flee when you are scared of your feelings. You definitely got that from your mom. But it doesn’t make you less lovable. Ethan is lucky and he should start to realize it soon. And if he doesn’t, then someone else will.”

She nodded as she felt tears prickling behind her eyelids. Her dad took her in his arms, kissing her temple before letting her go.

She didn’t know if it was a good idea. Standing there, in front of his door, she was hesitating. What if he wasn’t there? What if he didn’t want to talk to her? She briefly contemplated the idea of going back home before reproving herself. Taking a deep breath she knocked on the door that opened a few seconds later to reveal Ethan. He was dressed casually, in a white t-shirt and gray sweatpants. He looked at her up and down before leaning against the door frame, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Is that the text I sent to Louis that made you run to me this fast? I thought you would need a few more days. “

“I’m not here for that. And about that text, don’t put Louis in the middle of our arguments. That’s not fair.”

“That made you come to me, I’d say it is fair.” he insisted.

“I’m not here to argue…” she sighed.

“What are you here for, then?”

“To talk.”

He straightened up to let her in before grabbing her waist by behind to pull her against his chest as his lips found their rightful place on her neck.

“Ethan… I said I wanted to talk.”

“Too bad, because I’m not in the mood for that.” he whispered against her ear.

She knew it was a bad idea, that it would only make things worse but sue her for being weak when it came to Ethan Verstappen.

Lying naked in his white bed sheets, she couldn’t help the nagging feeling of shame from crippling in the back of her mind. Even more when she saw Ethan getting out of the bed without giving her a glance making her feel used.

“Ethan…”

“I have somewhere to go, Julia. I don’t have time.” he shrugged.

It was enough for her to let the angry feelings she had kept bottled inside to explode.

“So you have time to fuck me, but not to talk? Are you kidding me?”

“I didn’t see you put much resistance to it.”

She threw the sheet around her shoulders, following him in the living room as he picked up his keys.

“What am I to you? A booty call? Someone you can use and discard when it’s convenient to you?”

“You are making the choice to leave me. You are the one abandoning me.”

“For four weeks! For my family! It’s not as if I was going away on a solo trip in the Caribbean!”

“Still. You make your decisions alone. Without talking to me. And now you want to talk? Spoiler Julia, I’m not available to talk when it’s convenient to you. So be nice, put your clothes back on so I can go meet my friends.”

Julia looked at him in disbelief. She wasn’t recognizing him. Where was the charming, funny and caring Ethan she grew to love? Instead, it was as if he had gone back to the insufferable and arrogant man that she couldn’t stand. She batted her eyes to prevent the tears from forming. She put her clothes back on, took her bag and with one last disappointed look, left him.

He knew he was acting like a dick and even more than that but for a reason he couldn’t explain, he couldn’t help it. It was as if every word that was coming out of his mouth had one goal, hurting her the way he was hurting. He knew he shouldn’t, he had no right to get mad at her for wanting to spend time with her family but he would have loved for her to come to him first, so they could talk about it and not be thrown under the bus like he had been. Sometimes, he felt like despite his efforts, he still had no place in her life. And it was coming at the worst time. The press was not the kindest with him lately, doubting his abilities, saying he would never be as good as his dad, that he had no place in the sport. If it had always been more or less bearable in the past because of the fans and the support he was receiving, now even them were saying that Julia had made him weaker. That he was more interested in what was outside the sport, that his passion wasn’t there. And that was hurting him more than he liked to admit. He could handle the nasty comments about his performance, but not that people and even names well respected in the field were doubting his commitment, that was the last straw.

And when Julia told him that she wouldn’t be there, next to him for the next races, he thought that he had just lost another one of his landmarks. If even Julia was letting him down, what did he have, still? Kyle had Romy now, Ludwig was Ludwig, he had never been one to care if he had people around him or not. Who would want to stay with him?

So when Leroy, an old friend from school, asked him if he wanted to meet up with their old acquaintances to reminisce about the past, he thought it would be a good opportunity to forget about how his life was not that great at the moment, and about how he didn’t help making it better.  When he entered the bar, he was quickly welcomed by them, asking him how he was and when he would finally be a World Champion. He felt nice, at ease with them. They joked about where they were in their lives, the girls they had dated, joked about it and Ethan definitely felt like he belonged with them. The drinks were flowing and the atmosphere was relaxed until Leroy pronounced Julia’s name and it shifted.

“So the rumors were true, I guess. You are dating Little Miss Perfect.”

“Julia? Yes. It was unexpected but it’s true.”

“I’m just wondering how you managed to do it? Like, I’ve been with her and gosh she was so stuck up by then.”Leroy joked, making his friends laugh as well.

“You’ve dated her?” asked Ethan. He didn’t remember and Julia had never mentioned anything about ex boyfriends.

“It was more out of a bet than anything. She had never been really interesting or worthy to be dated. I mean, she was cute but who seriously wants to be with someone like her? Do you remember when we used to laugh about her Ferrari stupid dreams? Or the way she was always the first one raising her hands when teachers were asking questions? She was such a teacher's pet.”

Ethan clenched his fist, he didn’t like the look on Leroy’s face when he was talking about Julia.

“Well, she made it. She works in F1 now. So, after all, she was right to hold onto her dreams.”

“Maybe but, tell me… we are between men, now. How is she? Is she still stuck up or did you manage to turn her into a whore? She had always had a nice body. How does it feel?”

“Don’t talk about her like that, it’s disrespectful.”

“Oh no, I see, she turned you into her little whore, that’s why you don’t answer? Is she wearing pants in your relationship?”

“Fuck off, Leroy. I’m serious.”

“Come on Ethan, don’t take it that way. We all know it here, she is a bitch. Remember how she lied to her parents and they managed to fire me from school. She made my life like hell. She is a bitch, always has been, you can’t defend her. And you know what we do to bitches like her? We train them to make them obedient and docile.” he added with a snarky smile.

He didn’t expect Ethan to react this fast, standing up, making his chair fall on the floor and in a swift move he was grabbing Leroy by the collar, approaching his face with a threatening glare.

“Listen to me, little fucker. You are going to keep Julia’s name out of you mouth or I swear I’m going to make you learn every single definition of the word respect in every single language that exists, and I'm not scared to use force if I have to. If I hear you saying another thing about Julia, I’m going to make sure you will never be able to make a sound. Are we clear?”

“Ethan…bro…come on, I was joking.”

“These are not jokes and it’s because little boys like you with a fragile ego that women are scared to be around men. So I won’t repeat myself. Fuck off.”

He could see Leroy getting paler by seconds and when finally he nodded quickly, eyes filled with fear in front of Ethan cold anger, the blond released his grip. He gave his so-called friends one last disgusted look before heading out, thinking that he definitely needed to clean his friends list. As he was about to step outside, he heard Leroy mumbling.

“Told you that bitch was holding him with a leash, he is not fun anymore.”

Ethan turned around faster than expected and Leroy didn’t have the time to register what was happening to him that his face was violently thrown against the table,earning the gasps of the people around them. He heard him whining of pain as he breathed in his ear.

“Don’t play with me Leroy or I swear I’m going to destroy you. And I’ll take my sweet time so you won’t forget your lesson.”

“Fucking asshole, my nose. That hurts.”

“Be happy it’s your nose and not your legs.”

And just like that he headed out with a proud smile on his face.

Author's note: I love to write fuckboy Ethan, it is so fun. Maye not for you to read, but to write I can assure you that I absolutely love it! What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[catgirl-catboy]

Hey! I watched the new total drama season you send I enjoyed the new season I must say

Did you enjoyed it? What is your opinions?

I really did enjoy it, but I also think it had the same flaws as the rest of the total drama series, as expected. (the danganronpa ask is sitting half completed because I got a case of the TD brainworms!)

Namely, that except for gen 2, every generation has a character whose personality is 80% fart jokes. Now, I love me a fart joke as much as any self-respecting 12 y/o boy, so its not that I don't find them funny. But I also think that a character shouldn't just be gross-out humor, and should have some other qualities to them. How does Ripper's bullying affect the goal of the game. Why is he on total drama if his main ambition in life is something else? He clearly feels insecure, but so does his designated victim. Explore that!

One take I saw floating around is that Emma and Chase's relationship is repetitive and annoying. That was the point! You aren't meant to ship them, and Bowie's thoughts on them are meant to mirror the audiences! That being said, I hope they change up the dynamic in season 2 because doing it for another season would get stale.

This is more of a personal preference than a complaint with the writing, but I found Raj's arc in this boring. "realizing you are gay because of a crush and then kissing him" is really overdone, and it felt like the main players in the Rajbow ship were Bowie and WAYNE. This isn't a bad thing, but I hope he becomes a more distinct character in season 2. Maybe Bowie can teach him game strategy and he betrays Wayne to stay in the game longer tee hee hee.

I also don't really agree with the take that Bowie is bad rep because he's a very stereotypical gay man. A lot of total drama characters are based off stereotypes, like Lindsey being the Dumb Blonde and Heather being the Mean Girl. They evolve beyond those tropes throughout the reason of the show, and we actually see that with Bowie in just the one season he was in so far! After Raj got eliminated, he did a whole bunch of plot relevant shit that didn't involve him and was a compelling character outside of his romance plot. I call that a sign of good writing, but this is total drama so who knows if it will last.

And I don't think that TD is saying all gay man are stereotypical, because we have Raj, who is very much not that. He's a dumb jock that happens to be gay, and falls into the jock stereotype more than any gay one. I really respect that writing choice.

Pryia is one of my favorite TD characters, but season 1 Court still takes the number one spot. (even if she is hanging on Hall Monitor coattails!) I adore her! She totally deserved the win.

They made Axel too much like Eva and it felt like a really missed opportunity. We already have Eva and Jo, can we have a more GNC gal character that isn't totally aggressive? I'd like that. Hopefully, she becomes more of a player in the second series?

I also wish they gave Julia a different strategy than Heather. If a character needs constant immunity to stay in the game, then maybe they deserve to leave the game at that stage. Its overdone. I also feel like Julia showed skills in turning people against each other, which could have easily been her M.O. That being said, my favorite Villain Elimination by a longshot.

I really liked the energy brought to the jokes about Zee's leg. It doesn't come up often since my hearing aid isn't too visible, but if I have the opportunity to joke about my disability, I will take it! He's probably one of my favorite disabled rep besides Toph, and I'm glad that he wasn't looked down upon by his team during challenges. He didn't struggle with any challenges, and his leg actually helped at one point!

(one time, a teacher asked in frustration if anyone was deaf in here. Saying "Yes :)" was my crowning achievement and one of the best jokes I ever made. Its not relevant, but c'mon.)

I wish he had more of a character outside of comic relief, but still!!!

[heathneycanon]

td new cast ranking (spoilers)

hiii if you know me at all you know i loveeeee ranking things and i already made a tierlist but i'd love to give my detailed thoughts on the new cast. maybe to get them out of my system maybe to have more thoughts to develop later?? who knows. i've also already shifted around rankings so they're different from my tierlist bc as i wrote this my opinions changed and developed SDJFKD. but anyway. new cast ranking with explanations under the cut!!

16. Chase - I mean. It's Chase. His relationship with Emma is... not good! He is kind of the worst! However this does make him the tiniest bit funny . He's extremely pathetic and a misogynist and a bad boyfriend however. The undeniable fail energy is amusing. When he isn't winning. Like this man is at his best when he is absolutely failing, so Emma needs to break up with him. For her own sake, obviously, but also for Chase's failure energy to remain strong. He cannot get what he wants he needs to remain failing!!!

15. Caleb - There's nothing wrong with Caleb. Unfortunately there is also just. Nothing with Caleb, period. I'm fully expecting this to be rectified next season, but for now like... this man is not even a character. Nowhere else to rank him but here. Although this does go to show how much I like the cast LMAO because everyone above him is someone I have mostly positive feelings towards.

14. Nichelle - She was sooo funny I love how everyone (including the cast!) thought she was gonna be so good but then she turned out to be a girlfailure. We need more girlfailures in Total Drama and this season delivered!! We didn't see too much of her (and honestly?? She didn't stand out too much to me until her girlfailure tendencies were revealed which was right near the end lmao) but I fully believe she's gonna be GREAT next season. Especially with my suspicions that next season is going to be sort of similar to TDA, with fewer generally physical/Survivor-inspired challenges, and more entertainment industry related challenges. Idk she didn't give us very much but I do have hopes for her next season. Also her elimination was sooo Jerry's fault. I wonder if my season 2 predictions are right if Jerry might show up? I hope so. Get your revenge Nichelle!!

13. Emma - EMMA GET UP!!!!! Chase is not the love of your life he is not even the love of your week!!! Once again though, the loser tendencies are soooo strong in Emma. Idk I liked the haterism it was good. We need more of that and less of her and Chase. Break up with him!! She and Bowie were a fun duo while they lasted, I honestly love the way their designs really complimented each other? Probably my favorite version of Emma was during the pole challenge, like. Yessss get angry that was so fun. She did get back with Chase at the end of that but. Let's ignore all that. Idk she's just silly!! I think I'm getting repetitive at this point but I do want to leave this with the final thought that, once more, she NEEDS to break up with Chase. For his fail energies to remain intact, for her dignity and standards, and for me as the audience... leave that boy!! Kiss Nichelle or Julia instead I'm fully convinced Emma does not know girls are even an option and once she does it is OVER for Chase.

12. MK - I was expecting MK to be one of my favorites preseason and while she was not, I still liked her. I hope her parting words were foreshadowing and next season she makes a friend, because (as I've seen other people mention), she kind of... needs to have some sort of connections to be an interesting character? And the fact that she seems opposed to that makes any potential friendships next season even more interesting. I also love how she just has no respect for the intended rules of the game and Chris just... lets her do her thing. It is so funny. Like yesss hang out and control the shields. Watch all the confessionals with the phone you shouldn't have and also upload a video of Julia bullying a dinosaur. Honestly the lack of care Chris had surrounding phones in general this season (especially considering his initial show of confiscating what turned out to be like. A fraction of Julia's phones) was so funny. Sam and Dakota were watching from their couch fuming I just know it. Or maybe they were happy for the new generation. Who knows.

11. Zee - He's just fun! Like... chill guy. Was definitely high the whole season. I do maybe think he could've benefited from being around an episode or two less? Like he was good, but it wasn't like he was exactly getting any development or anything? He was kind of static character, which is fine, and he was a likable one for sure! But if he'd gone home two episodes sooner we wouldn't have had that . Nose scene. Which kinda makes me gag every time I think about it. Genuinely I don't think Total Drama has ever grossed me out more. Which is a feat. I need more of him and Ripper next season the whole bird scene with them was hilarious. Honestly, his dynamic with Chase was pretty funny too? Idk. Just a good dude! I also thought his different stories about losing his leg were great.

10. Millie - She wasn't really doing anything for me until the very end? I thought the concept of her character was kind of creative but I found her like... initial sort of... self-important deal kind of obnoxious? Her friendship with Priya was sweet but again, for the first half of it I found it kind of one-sided (on Priya's end) and so I wasn't loving her. Of course, at the end she became invested in the friendship, had her previous sort of... bad friend behavior revealed, and then was like... surprisingly vulnerable for Total Drama standards? Not unheard of, but not like... what I expected. And reconciled with Priya with everything out in the open. And that completely changed my feelings on the character (which had already been sort of slowly shifting). Overall, I still feel like she's one of my least favorites on the cast, but I still like her, and honestly, if I were to rewatch, she might be ranked higher. The fact that she admitted that she was only writing about everyone like that because it was easier to judge them than try to fit in was really good and rewatching those earlier scenes with that in mind might make me more sympathetic to her then? I do also really like a friendship between two people who haven't had friends before. So. Honestly I'm liking her more as I'm writing this. I really hope they do something good with this friendship next season. Also okay this is so funny when I wrote all this out she was number 14 and I keep moving her up one rank at a time. She's climbing.

9. Priya - PRIYA my friend Priya. Girls when they are normal and regular and have no problems whatsoever. You cannot expect me to be normal about someone who has grown up friendless making their first friend and immediately getting very attached. I absolutely loved her defending Millie in front of Chase that was when I knew I was gonna get attached to her character. Like... come on. I mentioned this in the Millie ranking but I kind of love how their friendship played out? Like in the moment as I was watching I wasn't sure I was loving it but after the fact? Yeah it's good. I like the way there was some tension but they actually communicated and resolved things. And of course there is Priya's whole Deal like. There is so much to unpack there. She has been training for Total Drama for her whole life for her parents and now she's done it!!! I hope season two sees her resolve to put her foot down and go to med school because like. I need her to have her happy ending.

8. Ripper - As I said in another post Ripper has unfortunately grown on me. Like mold. When they're not using him for grossout humor, Ripper is actually like... hilarious? The humor this season was honestly surprisingly good (again, barring the grossout jokes) and Ripper was like. Delivering. He is so pathetic and we all know I find that a wonderful trait for a character to have. Like... "So you're not gonna see me cry! I'll wait until I get home." like that is so 😭😭 honestly it's the delivery half the time. As the season went on I liked him more and honestly I liked how he tried to help Millie win back Priya? Idk. I was annoyed with his team for booting people I liked more instead of him like. Three times. But I like him now. He's just a silly loser guy. He's also bi but I'm not sure he knows it yet.

7. Bowie - GUYS. I was never in the camp that thought Fresh was gonna write the gay characters abysmally, I had a little bit of faith, but they really exceeded my expectations. Bowie was SO fun. The perfect reality TV villain honestly- having fun with it! His alliance with Emma was good, but IMO the highlights were obviously the Julia rivalry/fake alliance (rivalliance??) and RAJBOW. I wish we got to see more of Bowie and Julia because that dynamic was amazing, and I hope they continue to interact next season, and then of course his relationship with Raj was just. Really good. If Emchase was the price we had to pay to get Rajbow... then it was worth it. Like they were so good?? Raj's little crush?? The mouth guard??? The poem????? I do think it's a little unfortunate that they had their first kiss in a pool of tapioca pudding but this is Total Drama we're talking about. And they didn't seem to mind. Very excited to see what they do with their relationship next season. Back to Bowie on his own, I was talking about how funny Ripper was at times and Bowie was also one of the absolute funniest characters this season. As I've mentioned before I love haterism and Bowie has it in the most fun ways possible. Sometimes he would say exactly what I was thinking as I watched a scene. Top tier Total Drama confessionalist. The majority of the best confessionals this season had to have come from him. I love his scheming I love his humor I love his strategy and I love his relationships like... that is a good TD character right there!

6. Damien - I feel like he's gonna win next season. I'm not sure whether that's a genuine prediction, or whether I'm simply manifesting, but... come on! He was just fun! He wasn't a standout at first, but pretty quickly he became one of my favorites (and was promptly voted off </3) like. First of all. He was the first one to call Scary Girl Scary Girl so I have him to thank for that amazing name. Second of all, he's just... sweet! I loved the little hints of Damien/Priya we got this season, I'm definitely here for that relationship if they choose to make it canon in the next season. The Damien and Scary Girl dynamic was also absolute gold like yesss chase him around on a jackhammer. Anyway now he's actually gonna try to play the game, and I'd love to see him do well! He's got like... such a fun energy and enthusiasm. He's truly got "just some guy" energy which is wonderful. We need more "just some guy"s. I just think he's neat!

5. Raj - Top 5 time lets go... technically he is tied with the next entry (do not separate) but I didn't want to mess up the format so. Raj! I've talked about Rajbow already but let me reiterate: Rajbow good. Raj's crush was so sweet and I really enjoyed watching those two get together! But talking about something I haven't talked about yet... Raj and Wayne! Their friendship was SO good my god... I loved their incomprehensible (to me) hockey talk. I loved the genuine love and support between the two. I LOVED the joint medevac like SDJFL it would be wrong to send one home without the other... I hope if they're eliminated next season they go out in a double elimination or something... Idk both of their energy this season was just fun!

4. Wayne - Once again, tied with Raj, and I said most of what I wanted to say about Wayne already? But I do think the excitement he had surrounding Raj coming out to him was so good. You may think you're Rajbow's biggest fan, but nobody is a bigger fan of Rajbow than Wayne.

3. Julia - She just. She just got better and better as the season went on. She was already kind of funny with her influencer speak but when she got hashtag cancelled for BULLYING A DINOSAUR she became so much better. I've already mentioned how much I love her rivalry with Bowie so I won't talk about that too much. I will say I loved that one moment when they both fully judged Emma and Chase's relationship as well as their joint confessional like the rivalry was good but I need these two actually aligning even more. I also think she and Emma should kiss or something. I hope she sticks around for a while next season even though she went pretty far this season like... I need her to make the merge at least. LOVED her challenge beast tendencies, winning all those clutch immunities... What a character. Top tier TD antagonist, or at least close to it.

2. Axel - Yes I got attached to the second boot. What can I say she's coming to win next season trust! Idk you cannot show me a zombie apocalypse prepper character (who is clearly gay) and not expect her to be my favorite. Loved when she pushed Ripper off the boat. Love when she bit Ripper's hand. Love when she killed a bunch of squirrels and cooked them for her team like that's a team player right there!! Not to peddle the ScaryAxel agenda toooo hard but. I need to see them align next season like girl who is really into horror and girl who is really into survival/zombie apocalypse stuff? And they both bit Ripper and will eat cooked squirrel together? Ummmm that's couple goals. Honestly I want to see more of the Axel and Ripper rivalry too. Honestly just wanna see more Axel she rocks

1. Scary Girl - Surprising nobody. I know she's like... kind of a gimmick character which I've historically not totally loved but... she's so good. The voice acting (as others have mentioned) does a LOT for her like props to the VA, she really makes the character. The animation in general this season was a major improvement but it definitely helps Scary Girl as a character too. She had a great dynamic with Damien for what little time she was there, I've mentioned the potential of ScaryAxel already, and. Tell me you don't see how Scary Ripper could be one of thee funniest dynamics ever. The dynamic is called Scary Ripper and one of their key interactions was her trying to bite him. Do not get me started on Scary Axe Ripper like the name itself is just too much fun and BOTH of them have tried to bite him (one succeeded). She got voted out because she wanted to make sure the skull she needed to bring to Chris looked presentable and she just. Did the skull's hair and makeup to match hers. And then kept the skull when she was voted out and brought it with her to the finale. I hope the skull is also in season two. Scary Girl is the Total Drama character of all time.

[grimm-tales-gamer]

Fallen Hero: Sidestep 2

Wow, I didn’t expect people to be interested in my 20 fallen hero OCs! Here is number 2!

Name: Daniel Ward

Gender: male he/him

Villain name: Anathema

Villainous Role: anarchist

Motivation: justice

Scar: suicide

Reason for gala: money

Where is he now: hanging out with Chen aka dog dad.. with two broken legs.

   Daniel is one of my sidesteps who looks put together on the outside but oh boy. He isn’t (I swear I have sidesteps with most of their crap together, we’ll get to them). He doesn’t kill (ever), saves people, embezzles the rich for money, and more. However, he is much more willing to break bones and give concussions than my previous sidestep. What’s funny is that as I was fleshing Daniel’s character out I realized: oh god, he’s kind of like Batman.

  I mean it. He doesn’t kill because he knows in his heart that he wouldn’t stop killing. I’m not saying he’d turn I to a joker type; but getting rid of corrupt politicians, bad heroes, and so on is a lot easier when you just break their necks rather than ruin their reputation with scandals and proof of crime. Which is a kind of Batman way of looking at it.. if I remember the red hood movie right.

   Daniel’s scar gives him a sort of inevitability to his cause. As a testament to Malin’s writing, Daniel’s inner thoughts from Retribution say it better than I ever could. He knows he can never stop fighting. Even if Daniel finishes his original goal of stopping the farm and whatever else is coming there is still more to fight. He realizes he’ll have to be stopped by someone. So he begins to endure himself to Chen to see if he’d be willing to stop Daniel.

   Also around this time is when Daniel realizes Chen totally knows who he is, and after they kiss for the first time, begs Daniel to stop; but they both know that won’t happen (Malin why are you so good at this stuff). Eventually they fall for each other, Daniel may have even told Chen straight up he is Anathema but then the meeting with Hollowground sort of messed that up. If the prologue is anything to go by, Chen just knows, they just need to sit down and talk about it.

Well that was cheery. How about some fun facts?:

He’s had a crush on Julia for years and finally admitted to being in love with her in the hospital at the end of Retribution.. so uh, that’s a conversation they (Daniel, Chen, and Julia) need to have soon. Daniel is *so* looking forward to it.

Daniel has an addiction to caffeine. Coffee, soda, energy drinks, doesn’t really matter where it comes from. But, he prefers coffee. Daniel REALLY likes Turkish coffee.

Daniel actually really likes Argent (platonically) and has an 80+ relationship with her as the villain. He also trusted her with the regenerator.

Daniel regularly rolls and tries to stretch his right shoulder on the account of it always hurting after the heartbreak fall.

He chose his villain name so that Anathema would never be forgotten. At least to himself.

Daniel, in my head-canon, is the best fighter among my sidesteps.

Well how about stats and appearance now? Also armor stuff, I can’t believe I forgot about that in my last post.

Daniel doesn’t have a preference between anonymity and arrogance. Literally ended Retribution with 50/50. Daniel is empathetic at about 80%. As some of you might have imagined, Daniel is daring at about 95%! Daniel prefers his subtle manipulation over his sheer power of mind, his subtlety being around 78.

Armor:

Type: practical, no cape. Simple, no frills, kind of blocky around vital areas and flat areas like shins and forearms but sleek like a body suit everywhere else. Helmet is simple, almost like a military helmet and gas mask combo. Colors are a bit more complex: black with red accents. Usually the red follows joints/bones throughout the body.

Add ons: speed and strength

Extra: I always imagined Daniel duel wielding martial arts batons while in armor.

Daniel’s appearance:

Race: black

Height: tall, I imagine 6.5ft (about 2m)

Hair: coiled and black. Short and styled, kind of a crew cut, shaved on sides and back with a little on top. With a well trimmed beard. Though they both might get a little wild while Daniel waits for his legs to recover.

Eyes: brown

Style: nondescript military surplus. Simple, affordable, doesn’t stick out, and it lasts forever. He also regularly wears sunglasses, aviators of course.