#even if it's not the one who birthed him
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Steve and Eddie childhood friends au where Eddie's mom, Elizabeth Munson, is hired on as Steve's nanny when Steve turns four.
Elizabeth may not have the best reputation in town, but she went to school with Linda Harrington before she threw her life and money away on Al. She was young and foolish and thought he loved her like she loved him. It hurt to be proven wrong, that he loved her modest saving account more than he could ever love her, but at the end of the day, he gave her Eddie, so she carries on.
Linda had known her from before she met Al. They weren't ever friends, but Elizabeth was from a nice lower middle-class family and had long black curls that the other girls could admire. Not popular by any means, but someone who could be partnered up with Queen Linda for a history project without heads turning. Linda also knew from health class that Elizabeth was good with kids, so it's not a complete surprise when she gets a call asking if she'd like to nanny her 4-year-old son, Steve, for the foreseeable future so she can return to work with her husband.
The Harrintons are a wealthy couple, for Hawkins Indiana at least. In the grand scheme of things Richard's position as one of many property realtors in a major corporation keeps them comfortably in the upper middle classes, but the dollar stretches almost twice as far in the sleepy parts of Indiana.
Still, to Elizabeth who has never known more than a modest three bedroom and little Eddie who has never lived outside the tin walls of the trailer park, the Harrington home seems like a mansion fit for a king.
Or in this case, a little prince.
Steve is a sweet little boy, if a little bratty the first few times Elizabeth has to tell him no. When she first comes to the house to be briefed on all Steve's needs and how the house runs, he clings to his mother's perfectly pressed skirts and looks up at him with big brown eyes that remind her so much of Eddie's, full of barely contained curiosity. It doesn't take long after she introduces himself to him, stooping down to say hi and shake his little hand, for him to lose all that shyness and start, trying, to ask her questions. He's not at a place where he can use full sentences, but he makes do with pointing and the words he does have.
It's easy to see that Linda doesn't know how to interact with Steve, telling him more than once to let the grownups talk and to stop holding her skirt. Elizabeth doesn't say anything though, it's not her place and she could really use the job. Edde is sprouting up like a weed, and her previous income from the diner wasn't enough to get him all the things he needed. The Harringtons, for all their faults, are offering her more than a fair salary to look after their son.
The next week, she brings her and Eddie bright and early to make sure they get there just as the Harringtons head off to work. Elizabeth knows Richard wasn't keen on Eddie coming with her, probably not wanting his son to associate with a child he sees as lesser, but Elizabeth quickly realized that matters of the home like childcare were left to Linda's discretion, and she hadn't seen a problem with it.
Steve is waiting for his mother on the front porch, clutching her hand as hard as he can. When Linda pries his hand away he starts to snivel and cry, but to Elizaeth's surprise, he doesn't start to wail and scream. The first time she had to leave for work Eddie just about had a complete meltdown, not understanding where his mom was going or why he had to stay with his Uncle Wayne. Steve stays quiet, muffing his cries in a way that tugs at her heartstrings.
She takes his hand and guides him inside, holding back from scooping him up in her arms like she would Eddie to sing him a song and dry his tears. Something tells him the Harringtons wouldn't appreciate that.
So he waits, watches their car depart from the open doorway, and once she's sure they're completely out of sight she swoops down to hold him in her arms. The act opens the floodgates. Steve starts really crying and wailing into her arms, asking for his mama and clutching hard at the sleeves of Elizabeth's blouse.
That's when Eddie steps in, placing his hand on Steve's shirt and rubbing clumsy circles on the younger boy's shoulder. Eddie's not five quite yet, has about four more moths to go, but he's talking much more than Steve is and seems to relish in the use of his voice. Right now he's using it to soothe Steve, telling him it's going to be ok and his mama will come back and that they can share his mama until she does.
Then he does the damnedest thing.
He starts singing.
It's the same thing she's always done for him. Every time Al comes home and leaves again, when he falls off the jungle gym at the park, when one of the kids in town points out that his shoes have holes in them and that he must be poor. She holds him close, rubs his tiny shoulder, and sings her favorite Patsy Cline song into his ear.
The three of them stay in the Harrington's entryway for as long as it takes for Steve's tears to dry out, starting this new phase of their lives to the tune of Sweet Dreams.
#steddie#fanfiction#stranger thiings#eddie munson#steve harrington#childhood friends au#or the begining of one at least#this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks#it was time to finish it#idk I just think Steve deserves a mom who cares#even if it's not the one who birthed him#also#i think Steve is a little odd#and he deserves a parental figure that will foster that#weird kids are the best#dreamer speaks#will make edits later
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I don’t think we’ve ever seen you draw knight of dawn before 🤔 what are your thoughts about him? Or take?
I've drawn him a couple of times, just really little/in the background. but I should draw him more, I love this guy a lot! I have many, many thoughts about him and the way he parallels Silver...and also I think it is extremely funny that his ghost is stuck in a ring. especially considering where that ring has been for the last 16-ish years.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#don't mind me just killing time waiting for maintenance to end so i can stick my face directly into 7-12#i mean i'm on the record (read: constantly posting) about how much i love the whole tragique backstory behind mal's birth#and. look. hold on it's a day ending in y time to be embarrassing about anime characters online again#no but really i love him. i love how he's such a vague figure but also the way his and silver's stories contrast#i cannot articulate it very well but just#i love how he's essentially like...bad end silver#he let himself go along with the big evil plan because he wanted to save his dad and not betray his king and all that#and when he finally did take a stand it was too late to stop the worst of it#meanwhile silver was immediately like NOPE WE'RE NOT DOING THIS#silver is NOT going to end up slaying the dragon thank you very much#me kicking my stupid little legs in glee over it all#and! the retrospect when you realize! that he was the one leading silver around lilia's memories!!!!#he is so happy that silver and lilia have each other!#he's so happy for them!#i want to put him in a can and hold him in my pocket for 16 years#also: his ridiculous hair. it's so silly and so good.#may vil never meet him#the knowledge that there's someone with naturally gorgeous hair who has somehow done it even dirtier than silver would destroy him
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[ cw: assumed death / assumed sibling death / assumed child death / solitude ]
Thinking about Leo being trapped in the Prison Dimension and keeping himself warm through the power of his own ninpo - this ability is shown to us as a flame, after all, so imagine if, when he lets his mystic energy run through him, it warms him up, just a little.
In this desolate place, all cold and alone, he focuses on that flame and leans into its warmth.
He relies on it, and he realizes it that he’d relied on it too much when it goes out, and he’s once again cold.
(In another dimension, the Hamatos believe they lost one of their own.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#assumed death /#assumed sibling death /#assumed child death /#he’s NOT dead but they don’t know that#anyway I think about Leo’s ninpo being the flame for everyone else’s to circle around a Lot#tbh I like to think that the turtles always had some innate mystic energy about them#even before they were mutated#I think they were chosen for a reason#If you look past the lens of a cartoon then they (especially Leo) were all more aware than most turtles usually are#imagine Leo always even from birth having that innate energy within him - a warm hearth that just makes him approachable#look at his baby self’s face cmon#anyway speaking of Leo and Warmth did you know that RES eggs that hatch at higher temperatures are born female I thought that was interesti-#sorry couldn’t resist but!! just sayinggg#he’s the one who prepares for cold temps and who actively tries to bask in a spa#my boy loves to be Warm#(because he was born warm-)#these tags are so much less serious than the post sorry guys
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sometimes u just get so filled w thoughts about a pair of characters u gotta just go bonkers ya know
#rvb#red vs blue#my art#batsy art#rvb tucker#rvb doc#rvb junior#docker#this file is called docker_and_son on my pc so ya know#tuckers hair being a mess post quest and post birth is v important to me#man got home took out his dreads and promptly fuckin immediately fell asleep face down on the floor and hasnt had a moment to retwist em#he very much meant to finish his hair first but his body had other plans#the picture has everyone in stolen clothes and that amuses me#Doc is wearing Caboose's shirt tucker is wearing one of tex's shirts and junior is wrapped up in one of church's shirts#not pictured is jr introducing doc and tucker to mason wu with 'hi mr wu this is my dad and mom-doc' 'dad doc this is mr wu :D'#and doc needs to compose himself from being called mom meanwhile junior doesnt even notice he slipped up he just auto corrected and moved o#tucker also missed it bc he was trying to figure out what mason's vibes are by force of eyebrows alone#mason wu is the only parent there who doesnt think doc and tucker are mid-messy divorce bc he looks at them and recognizes them#from pfl articles and chorus ones#so he Knows theyre soldiers and the shit they get up to and his previous frustration with juniors apparently absent family is nuked#theyre not absent theyre just keeping him Safely away from Fuckery
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And remember kids, the next time someone tells you, "George R. R. Martin wouldn't make Jon Snow the typical fantasy hero because that's cliche".....
Oh yes he would!
One viewer wants to know what character would you play (on the show)? GRRM: If I could magically clap my hands and become a different person, it would be cool to play Jon Snow who's much more of the classic hero. Everybody wants to be the classic hero! ABC Interview, 2014
GRRM: And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Meduza Interview, 2017
In fact he already has ☺️
#asoiaf#jon snow#yes grrm has criticized neo-tolkein fantasy - a lot!#but like....dpmo#I need so many people in this godforsaken fandom to familiarize themselves with grrm's engagement with the genre#he isn't trying to say “chosen one boy protagonist bad” where tf did people get that???#he's directly trying to challenge the more unsatisfactory elements of lesser copies of tolkien's legendarium#the ones that lift lotr wholesale without actually understanding what makes tolkien's writing snap#at the same time he has admitted himself that he has borrowed from lotr albeit with his own twists#but people in this fandom need to know that ye old man LOVES sword-and-sorcery fantasy#he LOVES a good epic#he LOVES pulp fantasy and sci fi#and those inspirations are directly reflected in asoiaf#the way he's named arthuriana/lotr/MST and many pulp stories with brooding dark heroes as key inspirations#almost all of which have mcs who fall into the typical fantasy hero role#and they inspire elements that are reflected back onto jon more than anyone else in asoiaf#like seoman snowlock = jon (+bran)#frodo - who btw is the mc in lotr not aragorn!! = jon (and bran)#FUCKING KING ARTHUR IS JON SO MUCH SO THAT RLJ IS LITERALLY A 1:1 COPY OF ARTHUR'S BIRTH STORY LIKE??!!!!#anyone who's even a little bit familiar with le morte d'arthur will be like oh yeah jon is literally king arthur like 😭😭#same with anyone who's ready the once and future king - which grrm has directly identified as his fav take on arthurian lit#ntm that jon is based on some of the most prolific characters in arthuriana - percival/galahad/lancelot etc#did you know that there's an iconic sci-fi series whose main character is called Eric JOHN STARK?#well grrm has directly quoted that series and the mc as a foundational book in his life#funny that huh? 🙂#do people even know what tf they're talking about when they say stuff like this???? ajdhhjshsbvshja#grrm engages very heavily with traditional fantasy tropes but he of course provides his own spin on them#never has he said that he's trying to avoid stories with hidden princes or chosen ones as boy protagonists#like someone find me a direct quote of him saying that - but I bet you can't smh
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you don't get it. she loved him once. she didn't have a maester, she had a brother. he sold their mother's crown to keep them fed. he said Dany, please. she loved him, once.
#I feel like the tragedy of viserys and dany is they really might have been close and loved each other normally of they'd been allowed to#barristan says viserys always seemed aerys's son but when has westeros had any sort of developed understanding of mental illness#dany knew him best and she said the last kindness left him when he sold their mother's crown#it begs the question how much kindness there would have been if they hadn't been children forced out on the streets#a brother dany says never forgave her for their mother's death giving her birth.#but who told her stories and brought her up while his own mental faculties were wearing thin#it doesn't feel like tywin keeping tyrion based on lannister name and blood alone#she loved him once.#that viserys had some inherent lecherous evil in him doesn't feel in line with that to me#it doesn't feel in line with dany please#if ned is the good guardian to tywin's bad one viserys was just a boy who found himself in that role under the worst possible circumstances#and who under duress of those awful circumstances and his own undiagnosed mental illness#(for which he never got any help or support)#failed his sister very very badly#leaving daenerys to feel the hole of his absence even when he was still alive#because she loved him. once#lol anyway!#asoiaf#daenerys targaryen#viserys targaryen
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the fact that megumi was supposed to be the MC makes me giddy as hell. ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER GUYS
#in the context of jjk it feels like the main character and the protagonist are not exactly the same thing#yuuji is the main character who was stripped away of all the things that made him the protagonist#and all the things that made yuuji the protagonist were later given to megumi#megumi is the “chosen one” the one in a million but all those things that normally would make the main character the protagonist#are out of megumi’s control#the story is still about yuuji#the story could only take place BECAUSE of yuuji and yuuji's CHOICES that’s why he’s the main character#yes kenjaku orchiestrated everything about yuuji's birth and role in life but yuuji is still the one who CHOSE to consume sukuna’s finger#yuuji was still the one who CHOSE to#not include himself in the binding vow sukuna made him enter#those are two pivotal points in the story and yuuji was the one who made them#yuuji may not be ”the choosen one” BUT THATS A GOOD THING#that means that even tho kenjaku orchestrated yuuji’s role in life yuuji was and still is the one in charge of his own life and story#he even decided to postpone his own execution wondering “why the heck I have to be executed”#he gets to chose what he’ll do next and NOT FATE#megumi is the one who’s “blessed” he inherited the most powerful zenin ct he’s father was the catalyst that started it all#he’s the one who was#the one in a million chance to be sukuna’s vessels#and megumi didn’t have ANY say in that#because all this time megumi didn’t get to be in charge of his own life#gege really had the fate toy with him just like reggie said to him back then#megumi gets to be the protagonist (or more like have a role of the protagonist) because he let the “fate” dictate his life for him#(unless noooowww he decides to finally take the reins of his life and save himself from his fate)#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#I’m yapping I don’t even know if this makes sense I was caught in a moment skksskks
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Thinking about Elizabeth Woodville as a gothic heroine is making me go insane. She entered the story by overturning existing social structures, provoking both ire and fascination. She married into a dynasty doomed to eat itself alive. She was repeatedly associated with the supernatural, both in terms of love and death. Her life was shaped entirely by uncanny repetitions - two marriages, two widowhoods, two depositions, two flights to sanctuary, two ultimate reclamations, all paralleling and ricocheting off each other. Her plight after 1483 exposed the true rot at the heart of the monarchy - the trappings of royalty pulled away to reveal nothing, a never-ending cycle of betrayal and war, the price of power being the (literal) blood of children. She lived past the end of her family name, she lived past the end of her myth. She ended her life in a deeply anomalous position, half-in and half-out of royal society. She was both a haunting tragedy and the ultimate survivor who was finally free.
#elizabeth woodville#nobody was doing it like her#I wanted to add more things (eg: propaganda casting her as a transgressive figure and a threat to established orders; the way we'll never#truly Know her as she's been constantly rewritten across history) but ofc neither are unique to her or any other historical woman#my post#wars of the roses#don't reblog these tags but - the thing about Elizabeth is that she kept winning and losing at the same time#She rose higher and fell harder (in 1483-85) than anyone else in the late 15th century#From 1461 she was never ever at lasting peace - her widowhood and the crisis of 1469-71 and the actual terrible nightmare of 1483-85 and#Simnel's rebellion against her family and the fact that her birth family kept dying with her#and then she herself died right around the time yet another Pretender was stirring and threatening her children. That's...A Lot.#Imho Elizabeth was THE adaptor of the Wars of the Roses - she repeatedly found herself in highly anomalous and#unprecedented situations and just had to survive and adjust every single time#But that's just...never talked about when it comes to her#There are so many aspects of her life that are potentially fascinating yet completely unexplored in scholarship or media:#Her official appointment in royal councils; her position as the first Englishwoman post the Norman Conquest to be crowned queen#and what that actually MEANT for her; an actual examination of the propaganda against her; how she both foreshadowed and set a precedent#for Henry VIII's english queens; etc#There hasn't even been a proper reassessment of her role in 1483-85 TILL DATE despite it being one of the most wildly contested#periods in medieval England#lol I guess that's what drew me to Elizabeth in the first place - there's a fundamental lack of interest or acknowledgement in what was#actually happening with her and how it may have affected her. There's SO MUCH we can talk about but historians have repeatedly#stuck to the basics - and even then not well#I guess I have more things to write about on this blog then ((assuming I ever ever find the energy)#also to be clear while the Yorkists did 'eat themselves alive' they also Won - the crisis of 1483-85 was an internal conflict within#the dynasty that was not related to the events that ended in 1471 (which resulted in Edward IV's victory)#Henry Tudor was a figurehead for Edwardian Yorkists who specifically raised him as a claimant and were the ones who supported him#specifically as the husband of Elizabeth of York (swearing him as king only after he publicly swore to marry her)#Richard's defeat at Bosworth had *nothing* to do with 'York VS Lancaster' - it was the victory of one Yorkist faction against another#But yes the traditional line of succession was broken by Richard's betrayal and the male dynastic line was ultimately extinguished.
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Belobog was my fave main quest but a lot of it is so. Contradictory. It's like they had multiple groups doing different shit and none of them checked in with each other for consistency. And you see this so much in Gepard's profile.
So in the main quest, they made him unfailingly, unquestionably loyal to Cocolia. Gepard's character arc is him learning to question authority etc etc. And this isn't even a bad thing; that's a story worth telling! It makes good conflict between him and Serval! And I love that we got Gepard as a boss battle and I get to see him all the time in SU!
But then you look at his character stories and it's like. The complete opposite.
According to his profile, Gepard has already HAD this awakening, long before the Astral Express, and he'd already decided Cocolia sucks. Even outside of his stories, there's a pretty damning readable between him and Pela.
He even disobeyed direct orders right in front of her- he has been disobeying orders for a while now!
So I've decided I'm marrying the two different sides of this into a 1.5k fic-ish thingy, because I think there's some fun potential there with Gepard not trusting Cocolia, but still having to pretend to be a good obedient little soldier.
Anyway. I love to think of it as like. Gepard knows Cocolia has sunk into her apathy. He can see it in her eyes every time he looks at her. She doesn't care. Not about him, not about Pela, not about all his soldiers on the frontlines giving their lives to protect the citizens. And that's... It makes him bristle a bit, but ok. Gepard can deal with this. Even if Cocolia no longer cares, as long as she does her job then it's fine. Having compassion behind an action doesn't matter as much as the action itself. If Cocolia's heart is no longer swayed, then he'll just have to care twice as hard to pick up the slack. He considers it part of his duty as a captain of the guard anyway. It's fine. Gepard can deal with it.
And then, Cocolia starts coming down to the restricted zone. Issuing direct orders.
And Gepard realizes he is in way over his head.
Because Cocolia orders him to stay back and issue commands from the ramparts, away from all his comrades, away from where he can protect them.
Gepard had thought nothing could be as bad as watching a fellow guard die right next to him. But the first time he watches someone struck by a killing blow, so far away, it hurts. Every defensive scar across his arms itches, his fingers curl in want of a weapon, the cold cannot numb his hands enough as they desperately ache for his shield. It hurts.
Gepard tries to find any reason to stay. Because surely... He knows Cocolia has lost her love for her people, but surely... She wouldn't...
One day, Cocolia orders for their gunners to advance 20 yards. There are no survivors. She almost looks like she smiles.
Gepard doesn't sleep that night.
Pela brings him the report at the end of the first month; and then the month after that, and the month after that. A significant uptick in losses, and all of it started on that first day Cocolia started overriding his authority and issuing her own orders. The ends of Gepard's pens have all been nearly chewed off. Pela outright calls Cocolia an idiot, and Gepard corrects her. Cocolia isn't an idiot. Gepard had known her through Serval, knew her through all her college years and then some, and he knows how intelligent she is. It's not that she's stupid, and it's not that she's inexperienced, it's nothing of the sort.
Cocolia knows exactly what she's doing.
She must, there's no way she could make such a horrible mess of things so badly by accident. And Pela, quick as a whip, sharp as a tack, always too smart for her own good, catches onto the meaning behind Gepard's correction without any further prompting. The tent goes deathly quiet, nothing but the wind howling outside.
"...She's trying to kill us," Pela whispers, her voice swiftly suffocated by the silence.
Gepard swallows. He can't bring himself to correct her this time. There is nothing he could say that he would actually mean.
His gaze drops, back down to his desk and the reports on it. The names aren't listed, just the numbers, but Gepard knows them, knew them, and there must be something wrong, something he's missing, because why, why would she-? What could this possibly accomplish-?
“Gepard! Focus!” Something snaps right under his nose, and Gepard startles, eyes instantly honing in on Pela's irritated face as she leans over his desk. She holds his gaze for a moment before she huffs and begins to pace, wedges a knuckle between her teeth and bites like Gepard hasn't seen her do since cadet school.
Pela angrily strides from one end of his tent to the other, words hissed between her grit teeth. “What are we going to do?” In the dim lighting, Gepard can just barely see the damp spot of blood weeping under her gloves. “We need a plan.”
“A plan?”
“Wh- Yes, a plan! Unless you want more people to die!” Pela rounds on him then, all the wrath of a blizzard, winds roaring and snow sharp enough to cut.
“We don't even know-”
“What does it matter?! She killed-!!” Pela cuts off with a garbled noise when Gepard leaps up from his desk, hastily shoves his hand over her mouth. The prosthetic, not the flesh one, because he knows better than to assume Pela won't seize the opportunity to leave teeth marks in his skin.
“You're right. I'm sorry, I'm sorry; you're right. But you need to keep quiet.” Pela quirks an eyebrow at him and Gepard can read the question in her face. “Because we both saw what she did to Serval,” he hisses.
It's amazing the snow plains haven't thawed out yet, the amount of heat Pela can put behind a glare. The mere mention of Serval, and the smoking ruins Cocolia had made of her life and career, have her bristling up like a riled cat. The sudden hot breath she takes fans fog across his metal skin, and Gepard wisely keeps it in place until Pela finally sighs and reaches up, taps her fingertips against the back of his hand.
The second she's free, Pela bats him away and then her knuckle is right back between her teeth again, Gepard leaning back against his desk with his arms crossed to watch her resume her pacing. “If we spread the word, she'll have us discharged and make sure we can't even touch the frontlines,” Pela's voice seethes like an open sore. Gepard nods but keeps his silence. He knows better than to get in her way.
“And if you and I are both out of the picture, Belobog is fucked.” A little harsher than how he would have put it, but there's no denying that they're both important to the city's survival. Pela has the restricted zone running as efficiently as ever, and Gepard had become the youngest captain on record for a reason. “We need to keep this tight under wraps, at least for now… It can't leak to anyone higher up the chain.” Another nod. “Serval might know other discontents…” Another n-
Gepard's head snaps up. “No.”
“No what?”
“No. We're not involving Serval in this.”
Somehow, even the same tone that leaves entire squadrons shaking in their boots has never worked on her. “You're not deciding that for her, Gepard.”
Pela hadn't seen the worst of it, though, back when his sister had just been banned from the Architects. Serval's pride hadn't allowed it. Pela wasn't the one to find her passed out bottle still in hand, hadn't been the one to wash the sick out of her hair or carry her to bed.
Serval still has trouble thinking clearly when it comes to Cocolia, still can't quite bring herself to be objective. And Gepard maybe doesn't want her to be purely objective- but he would worry a lot less if she thought twice before she acted more often.
“At least let me be the one to bring it up to her.”
“Whatever, fine,” Pela gestures affirmatively at him as she paces past, and Gepard sighs. Good, at least that's one thing he can help.
From there, it's a lot of hemming and hawing and frustration. Cocolia has them under her boot, and Gepard and Pela both know it. Even with the way she's been cracking down on freedoms lately, Cocolia is still, overall, liked by the people. It's unlikely anyone would believe them. They don't even have solid proof, because most people don't know Cocolia as well as they do and won't see the clues in the same light.
The Fragmentum has been ramping up in recent years, too. Everyone is struggling just to survive as is, they can't afford a fight on two fronts. Gepard is a damn good captain, one of the best for that matter. But they're at a massive disadvantage, his experience is narrowed to fighting a defensive battle against monsters, that's all he's ever done. That's all anyone there has ever done. He has no way of finding first-hand knowledge for taking the offensive against a human opponent, and if he goes at this blind, there's no way he'll get everyone out unscathed. He's going to lose people. He's going to lose a lot of people.
He'd never thought before that Cocolia would have it in her to have someone killed. And with this new knowledge, he has no guarantee she won't go after Serval or Lynx if she decides to retaliate.
Gepard has to remind himself to breathe when he realizes this.
Pela writes down every name the two of them can come up with. Lists and lists of names and groups and anyone they can think of who might be an ally in all of this. They memorize every bit of it, make their plans of who to talk to and when. Gepard watches the sparks reflect off Pela's glasses as they burn the evidence together.
Pela finally leaves, far too late to make it home, but says she wants to stay in the restricted zone anyway to investigate. Gepard watches her make her way in the direction of Dunn's tent, watches her back until she's out of his sight and squashes down the urge to follow and keep an eye on her. His tent feels empty.
In the morning, Gepard is up before the wake up bells. He drags himself out of bed, leads his soldiers through their morning training. The same people gravitate to each other everyday. Friend groups and training partners. There's an ongoing rivalry between a few squadrons that everyone bets on. Some of them have lockets around their necks, keepsakes, mementos. Some of them wear wedding rings.
Gepard is suddenly, painfully aware of something acidic clawing at the inside of his throat, of a heavy weight low in his chest that blooms, takes up room until it threatens to spread his ribs. His mouth tastes of bile and blood.
He rearranges the schedules. Puts himself down for every open patrol into the Fragmentum, makes sure he'll be on the frontlines every single time Cocolia visits.
He only hopes that it's enough.
#honkai star rail#gepard landau#hsr gepard#pelageya sergeyevna#hsr pela#hsr#smacking Gepard out of Hoyo's hands and running off with him skzjmdkd#tentatively Figuring Out how to write these two... It feels a little tricky starting out with extreme circumstances like this haha#I feel like a lot of people see Gepard as naive for trusting Cocolia so much but I don't think that's quite it. He's not stupid.#He's not even naive.#He's someone who has been groomed since birth by his own parents to be an obedient Guard and nothing outside of that role.#You are not immune to propaganda etc etc#But even then there are a lot of things like all the included screenshots where he. Doesn't actually seem to like/trust Cocolia much.#I think Serval was a really good influence on him as a kid. He might have turned out much much worse without her.#and even with how I've written him here. I don't think he's normally slow to act or one to stand aside and make other people lead.#it's just that this specifically was a pretty extreme circumstance for him.#and also he openly states elsewhere that Pela is overbearing and he tries not to interfere with her work whenever possible nskzhdjdjd#Pela too. I don't know that I normally see her as someone with a bad temper or quick to anger.#But again; extreme circumstances haha#Bc like. they both would have seen what happened to Serval when she stood up to Cocolia. they know damn well what's going to happen to them.#if they fuck this up and get caught then they're done.#and I mean. What are they supposed to do? they're two people against the highest authority of the entire nation.#regardless I do love Gepard agonizing over this in the future after Bronya takes over and everything has settled down#did he do the right thing? did he make the right choice? if he went vigilante how many soldiers would have died without his protection?#would Belobog have fallen completely? how many people died because he DIDN'T run away? was it actually enough?#I love characters forced between a rock and a hard place. no good options. pick your poison.#no winning- only weighing what you can and cannot bear to lose.#make your choice and decide whether you want to rot or to burn.
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Wait what if Sanji met Luffy he was a child- that would be so cute, and Luffy would be so supportive of his (future) cook!
#who needs (your birth brothers) when you have Luffy Sabo and Ace#now I need know how child Sanji would interact with all other children versions of the strawhat crew#black leg sanji#sanji#luffy#monkey d. luffy#luffy x sanji#(if you so want)#one piece#straw hat pirates#straw hat crew#child sanji#child luffy#I guess you could even have#sanji x ace#hehe#sanji x sabo#for you rarepairers#though hopefully sanji would later be picked up by Zeff#but also would Shanks adopt him then?#it be funny though to see Sanji act more like Luffy tho#what the hell would garp think#would he know he might be a vinsmoke#I’m sure there is a fanfic of this somewhere#ao3#I would write it myself but I don’t watch one piece#that often and only know Sanji’s lore because reasons#in the end this idea is everyone adopts sanji and loves him#because he deserves it
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It’s just…so painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while it’s most assuredly a manipulative tactic, it’s still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person he’s come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so they’ll stay with him. But it won’t be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he won’t be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#let’s not even get into Claudia’s anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experience…but there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I don’t necessarily mean that pejoratively- when you’re desperate for people to like/love you you’ll become whatever they want#or whatever you think they’d want and you give it to them so they’ll want to keep you around#I’ve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake it’s also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they won’t hurt you#and when that’s how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that he’s never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho it’s ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louis’ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking daniel’s mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldn’t#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (I’m very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how you’ll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#it’s all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#I’ll probably still find myself saddened by Armand’s fate because I’ve absolutely been there myself#it’s a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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there’s a question to be asked i think about to what extent “getting out” can be conflated with “being saved” in this show, and what freedom actually means to any of these characters.
like you can argue that shiv saved ken by voting against him on gojo, but what if your intent behind saving someone is to inflict a worse punishment than if you’d just left them trapped? can a child weaned on poison survive on milk, or are you just sentencing them to a death by inches, starved of the only thing they know? and if you save someone specifically because you know that being saved is the worst thing that can happen to them, is that kindness or cruelty? at what point does a good thing become a malicious act?
and you can say that roman is finally free, but what exactly is he free from? the company? his father? does unlocking a cage mean saving a dog, or are you allowing him out on the street knowing there’s a kill shelter nearby? if the driving anxiety behind roman is that he’s an idiot and a failure—that he’ll never amount to anything, and trying will only lead to pain—and he’s finally cut loose once all of those anxieties have crystallized into cold hard fact in his mind, what has he actually escaped from? if the cage is in your mind, is it even possible for somebody else to unlock it?
the fundamental truth of a tragedy is that even being saved can be a death sentence, if the characters are incapable of escaping the thing doing them the most harm (themselves and their childhoods)
#'what about shiv' if i think about shiv i'm going to kill myself. she needs her own post. there's too much there to get into.#anyways seeing a tremendous amount of At Least Roman Is Free <3 tags that have me going. right. for sure. free from what?#because it's certainly not the intense amount of self disgust that has driven him in circles this entire time.#i fear he may feel the weight of alienation on his soul for the rest of his life. and he won't even try to alleviate it anymore.#and ALSO the idea that shiv went out of her way to save kendall as an act of like. altruism. like it was a sacrifice on her part#which i feel is a very toothless perspective on shiv and the psychological torment that's been weighing on her essentially since birth#like her choice in regards to gojo is one of the meatiest most harrowing bits of character work i've ever seen#and while of course there was love inside that action (because nothing these characters do is entirely divorced from love)#i don't think it was necessarily a kind or forgiving or sacrificial love#like this was an intense vitriolic snapping from a dog that has been kicked by her dad all her life.#and who absolutely refuses to accept that from her brother (because that would mean acknowledging that kendall takes the mantle of Dad-#and that she's subservient to him. which is the one thing she absolutely will never do#because it's a level of degradation that's finally a step too far)#anyways. um. insane season that i still can't look at directly or i'll perish on the spot.#succession
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One thing that gets me everytime is that Stoick would have absolutely LOVED Zephyr. And Nuffink of course but I have this weird feeling that he wouldve doted non stop on Zephyr specifically. She wouldve been spoiled rotten by her grandfather, taken everywhere on top of his shoulders or the crook of his elbow. He would be reading her stories before bed. He would have learned to braid her hair and sat down with her on tea parties. He wouldve gone with her troll hunting. He would be there for her and her brother in the way he never got to be with Hiccup because the times were different now and then. He would absolutely be her best friend and Im SAD they never got to meet.
#I dont hve legal basis for this one I just feel it through the vibe#she’s the one who got his hair color I think he wouldve been cooing for weeks after her birth#and lets be honest#even years after#and Zephyr would adore him unendingly#she thinks he’s the coolest#Stoick would also love Nuffink dont get me wrong#he adores both of them#he would kill and die for them no questions asked#but I think what he and Zephyr wouldve had was something very special#well while were here remember to BOYCOTT#BOYCOTT the brands from the bds list#and even those who arent but are supportive of the apartheid occupation#if its within your capabilities. be safe out there#be loud and proud about supporting palestine#httyd#how to train your dragon#hiccup haddock#httyd hiccup#hiccup and toothless#toothless#stoick the vast#zephyr haddock#hiccstrid#nuffink haddock#how to train you dragon: the hidden world#hiccup how to train your dragon
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this relationship between the emperor and his favorite concubine is something else. because apparently she was his DAD'S concubine and she reminds him of his mom...he's like you're the only connection i have to my mother (presumably because she was friends with his mom, because they were concubines of the same guy, and because after his mom died she used to take care of him and make him the food his mom used to make him because she "loves children") and i'm sitting there like 😬 ok where are we going with this. then i get to the end of the show and discover they weren't going anywhere with it in particular. they were just like, we want this guy to have a mommy complex and we want you to know about it. okay. thanks i guess...
#i'm like is his mommy complex relevant? and they're like no 😇#like they didn't have any reason to make her that much older than him or to have her be one of his dad's concubines#it never becomes relevant#they could have left out that conversation in which they talked about her taking care of him as a kid and it wouldn't have affected anythin#and not that this show cares about relative time ('eight years ago' never makes any sense)#but it's also not to make ji shuran old enough to be ruoyao's mom or anything...li-fei is jsr's younger sister#if she had to be older than jsr then that would be one thing. but she isn't! she's younger!!#which also means 1) jsr is old enough to have a younger sister who's 2) old enough to be the former emperor's concubine#(as of at least eight years ago since we know it's at least that long since he died) and#3) the mommy figure of the current emperor who is currently an adult but was not an adult eight years ago even though#4) jsr has got to only be in her 30s based on sun-mama saying she's been with her since birth 'over 30 years ago'#the show is clearly not thinking about any of this though. they're just like 'wouldn't it be fun if the emperor was a lil messed up'#the double#incest cw#to be safe#because in a sense she is akin to his stepmom#my posts#it is kinda funny tho that the emperor went ok im going to imprint on this older sexually experienced woman who was married previously#and xiao heng went oh shit that sounds fun. me too#f
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i feel the need to mention that my cat has a perfect pacman eating a dot shape on his back and it’s the cutest thing ever
#my little pacman beast I love him so much#I feel like I don’t post about my cats enough because they are the silliest most wonderful guys EVER#this little fella right here is named porky and his nose and ears become a hot pink when he’s scared#he’s always been so special to me….we were only gonna keep one cat#(stray cat gave birth to a litter of 4 and we were planning to give away all but 1–#—because we couldn’t just let them live outside bc we were worried the apartment complex would do something bad to them)#but I begged So much to keep this little fella as well and they eventually gave in#he also once fucking Teleported inside and I’m not even joking somehow#he used to live exclusively outside but one morning he just Appeared in the living room under the couch#my mom found him just. under there. meowing.#we still don’t know how he got there because there was legitimately no way for a tiny kitten to phase through a glass sliding door??#that still weirds me out actually I feel like I’m not as confused by that as I should be#‘oh yeah this is my cat porky. he once teleported through a glass door in the middle of the night. what a cutie’#not a pikmin post#hana screams about creatures#< should I use that tag? who knows. I am very unorganized (UNSURPRISING)
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Harry Kim saying Naomi is lucky to be born on Voyager and that he would have given "anything" to have her life when he was a kid...
#He sees NO downsides????#Also I love how Neelix was yelling and panicked and Harry was like 'haha ok buddy. Hey this little guy is ugly huh~? See ya later!'#absolutely unbothered and not the least bit curious - love him <3#saw someone post about how they don't like 'once upon a time' bc Neelix doesn't tell Naomi right away about her mother .... bro.#c'mon. Anyway I love Neelix and him trying so hard to shield Naomi from bad things / upset bc he KNOWS how fucking painful#it is to lose a family DID make me tear up.#Also Naomi in that burned-down forest (symbolic of innocence?) was a kickass visual. Neelix telling her about his family and Naomi trying#to comfort HIM??? SHE'S SUCH A GOOD KID MAN....Neelix making her a flotter doll was also v cute#OH AND Naomi going 'I Am Borg...' and Neelix going '~??? No you're not~!!!' and Naomi giggling...added NOTHING to the#episode - as it should be!! Sometimes you've just gotta have a really cute silly moment <3#Tuvok: [says something] / Tom: Nice bedside manner Tuvok =_=#Tuvok: [about to say the most beautiful comforting words you've ever heard one parent say to another] And I took that personally.#Love how Naomi is scared of Seven at first...girl that's your roommate.#HEHEH she starts off the series scared of her but by the end she's her little buddy and also her intern#but yeah never forget that Harry Kim can and will say the most unhinged things but so casually that no one will really clock it#NEVER forget that he says he remembers.....either being an infant or his own birth - both WILD to me#Harry Kim lowkey loves destiny and being special and the idea of 'chosen ones' and the narrative even though he will fight it all if it#harms the ones he loves#Harry: (guy from an alternate timeline who replaced the dead Naomi with the alive one from his own) That kid's living the dream <3
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