#even if it's just hypothetical scenarios not canon to the actual au

[daydream-believin]

Like A Boiled Frog (You Don't Even Scream) [ch 1]

[Next Chapter]

notes: might proofread this before i post this to ao3 but here have the raw milk version (pasteurization is for losers amaright)

series summary: every time you think things cant get any more batshit, hurricane throws another pile of guano at you. every time you think the hole cant get any deeper, you fall further. and you’re not sure what frightens you more: the town itself, or your increasing reluctance to leave.

or: au where mike has that pizza shop for wayyy more than a week and you find yourself a horror protagonist. or at least one’s love interest.

chapter summary: get haunted bitch. now go drive to utah in a manic episode. go meet a nice walking corpse, maybe it'll fix you. or make you worse. probably that second thing lmao

word count: 7985, oh dear (thats with me cutting out some stuff lol)

warnings: uh, swearing, manic behavior, self-harmful thoughts/behavior, mention of hallucinations/hearing voices, shit this is sounding bad, i mean its canon typical violence so idk man no lifeguard on duty

You know how in Source Decay, John Darnielle says / I wish the west Texas highway was a mobius strip / I could ride it out forever / when I feel my heart break? / Well, that guy’s a bitchass snake oil salesman for romanticizing this. Fuck that guy.

Although, this is the first time you’ve ever been able to set a cruise control and actually just leave it at that. What with there being no other cars on the road out here at this hour for you to run into. You even forgot about it at one point.

Little puffs of fire danced in your peripheral vision, like fairies flitting about. It was easy to spot them out in the night air, all those pumpjacks that littered the desert. There was nothing but these small fires, with the tiny, dotted additions of the glowing red eyes of windmills to light up the way for miles.

And you tried not to think about how if you broke down, no one would be around to find you. Every now and then you would startle at the shadowy specter of a tumbleweed crossing your path, but you were acutely aware of just how alone you were out here.

On that train of thought, your gaze fell to the passenger side, to the little bear toy you had buckled into a seatbelt like it was a person.

“Can you believe this, Fredbear?” you asked the inanimate object.

Fredbear did not answer, of course. Would be insane if he did, right?

Hmm …Why did part of you expect him to.

***

The august sun was beating down hot on your back as you walked home that day. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but it was only last week.

The neighborhood was as full of life as it always was. The kids running around in a game of tag, the teens playing basketball, and the adults walking their dogs. You could hear some faint music playing in the distance, most likely from the stage setup in the square downtown, not too far away.

There were many yard sales set up, it being the thing to do on a sunny Saturday afternoon like this. Despite your very strong instincts to rummage through all the boxes in these sales like a raccoon looking for dinner in a dumpster, you were broke, with no money to spare for impulse purchases on random junk. And thus, being a mature adult, you walked right past them.

That is, until a yard full of children’s toys caught your eye. One of your cousins’ kids was turning 6 in a few weeks. Might as well buy presents now before you forget again and have to rush to the store in a panic 8 minutes after the party had already started, sweat rolling down your back as you search the toy isle for something the birthday boy would like, while your phone keeps buzzing in your pocket nonstop because both your cousin is texting and your aunt is calling to ask where you’re at because you were the one who was supposed to be picking up the pizza.

 I mean, just a hypothetical scenario here.

You didn’t really find anything good as you dug through the bins of miscellaneous action figures and toy cars. As you could recall, the kid really liked Iron Man right now. And sharks. Alas, you found no Iron Mans or sharks in those bins.

The other table’s baskets were full of stuffed animals. You could maybe get lucky and find a stuffed shark in there. But stuffed animals are notorious for being hard to clean; and yard sale plushies sometimes come with more than just one new friend. You weren’t about to be the reason your cousin had to fumigate her house for bedbugs. Again. So, you decided to close this case for now and skedaddle on out of there.

You took another look back at the table as you walked away.

Well.. The toys you could see at the top of the bins did look like they were well taken care of… It couldn’t hurt to just look, right?

Yeah no. You found no sharks unfortunately. What you did find, however, was this funky little teddy bear wearing a top hat and bowtie.

A real character, that one. The bright gold fabric of its body made it stand out amongst the other toys. The smile stitched onto the bear gave it a weird, smug look. And you hadn’t seen a plushy with eyebrows before.

That being said, this thing’s aura was so... unsettling. You stared into its black eyes, that seemed to stare right back at you, with a strange feeling twisting in the pit of your stomach.

“You like that one, do ya?”

You almost jumped out of your skin when the old man running the sale spoke to you. You had Not heard him come up beside you like that. Creepy.

“Yeah, it’s…” you tried to think of a positive word, “very intriguing. Looks like it’s ready for a party.”

“My granddaughter called him Fredbear. Found him over in Utah, many years back. In a yard sale, just like this one,” he gently took the bear from you, and looked down at it wistfully, “My granddaughter..  liked how smartly dressed he was. A perfect guest for her tea parties. You were right about that…”

The old man stared at the doll for a little longer after the conversation faded. You felt extremely awkward now. Perhaps you really should have just left without unearthing this obvious sentimental piece.

“My grandchildren are no longer here with me,” you felt a little uncomfortable with how he phrased that, “so, I’ll tell you what. Promise me you’ll take care of him, and he’s yours. Free of charge.”

“Oh, I couldn’t. I’d be happy to pay for him, really,” you felt bad taking free stuff from the elderly.

“No,” he said with a tone of finality, placing the bear firmly into your hands, “the day’s almost over. I’d like to help this old friend move on. It’s time.”

Well that somehow was both sweet and foreboding at the same time.

So, you thanked the old man and started back on your walk home, Fredbear cradled in your arms. He waved goodbye to you. The grandfather, of course, not the teddy bear.

You probably aren’t going to wind up giving this one to your cousin’s son. There was something about it that told you not to. Maybe it was the way the old man talked about it. You felt compelled to take care of the plush yourself. Kind of like an honor thing. Or a pity thing.

It smelled a little funky. But that’s nothing a little TLC couldn’t handle. And some dish soap.

Maybe you were just. Feeling a bit childish lately. Too small and easily broken. Moved to tears by little things that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Disregarded and treated like your fears weren’t real.

Deeply afraid.

Yeah, you’d give Fredbear a nice soak in the sink with a fun dish soap bubble bath. And maybe after that, you’ll both feel a little better.

You were alone in your apartment that night, as your roommate was always gone these days. And when you made your tea, you brought Fredbear a mug as well. A little tea party, for old time’s sake.

Looking back, maybe that was your first mistake.

***

Static rolled from your radio. You gave up on fiddling with it hours ago, but you’ve got nothing better to occupy your mind now.

You turned the knob absentmindedly, never really expecting to get anywhere. Or any signal, that is. A muffled country song here, the broken-up voice of a DJ there, nothing strong enough to stay for more than a few seconds. However, a few seconds of a clear transmission was all you really needed when you rolled past a certain signal.

“zZz-Hurricane—“

Now that was a word that got your attention. Not that you were anywhere near the coast at the moment. You know, unless the person reading this is looking to buy some oceanside property in Arizona. In that case feel free to slide into my DMs.

“zZZ-Peach Days! -Zz celebratio— zzZ-year—peaches peach—-ZzzZ-Heritage-zZ,” you let your gaze flicker downward, towards the dimly lit red text of the frequency number display as if that would provide some more insight.

And then suddenly, the fuzz was completely gone, as if you were near the tower itself,

“So Hurry On To Hurricane City!” the spokesman encouraged cheerfully. You could practically here the giant pageant smile in his voice as he delivered his slogan. This man was your friend, obviously. Then, however, his tone shifted as he closed the ad copy, “Because you know the party can’t start without you…”

You held your breath as the silence dragged out a few agonizing seconds, until “ZZZZZZZZ!!!”, in a jolt, the transmission went completely out. Explosively. You even flinched.

You stayed on the station for a good twenty minutes after that, waiting to see if you could hear anything again. You could feel your heart pound against your ribs until the terrifying feeling faded. There was nothing else but static, of course, and for so long you almost thought you must have imagined it. If not for the way those dull words repeated in your head, over and over.

THE PARTY CAN’T START WITHOUT YOU.

THE PARTY CAN’T START WITHOUT YOU.

THE PARTY CAN’T START WITHOUT YOU.

You hadn’t really had a destination in mind when you took off. No goal other than to get out of there as fast as you could manage. The idea of the West had been bouncing around your brain a lot lately, hence your current trajectory, but you really hadn’t had a clue where you were supposed to be going when you left.

I mean, you still didn’t have a destination. You had no clue what that advertisement was even about. Where they were even fucking talking about. Hurricane City?

Yet, somehow, you knew those words were meant for you. Not anyone else. you. There was a party and the party was waiting for you.

Guess you’d have to look for a map or something in town. Perhaps use the library computer. Man, you would regret throwing your phone into the lake in a fit of passion as you left town, but honestly, this is the longest you’ve known peace in quite some time. Just gonna have to live a little retro for a while. Not the worst thing in the world.

You’ll get a new one later, once you’ve settled in to… wherever you’re going. Whatever new home lies over that horizon for you, you guess.

The sun was breaching the beige skyline of sandy shrub brush as you finally rolled over the state line. You needed to eat. Your stomach growled loudly at just the thought. Funny. You hadn’t even thought about eating in the last.. twenty hours. Which means you should be absolutely shaking right now. Yeah, that’s why you’re shaking. That’s it. You’ll pull into the first diner you see.

You were hoping to at least be in Roswell for breakfast, but there was no way your body was going to be able to keep running if you waited that long. Looks like it’s just going to be the first place you come across.

Hopefully they don’t put green chilis in their pancakes or something.

That sounds insane but it’s an actual thing you’ve seen before in this state, trust. There are no laws nor gods when it comes to Hatch green chilis.

***

Your sleepy brain was not ready for the bell that rang as you walked through the door. Embarrassingly enough, the tinny noise startled you. You almost tripped, to be honest. Thankfully your wobbly Bambi legs held up as you managed to catch yourself.

The hostess wasn’t in sight as you awkwardly stood in the entrance, but there was a whole heap of noise coming from the kitchen.

“Hold on just a second, Sweetpea!” a voice called out to you.

Well, guess you’re holding on a second.

Your eyes scanned the top of the walls, perusing the vast cookie jar collection that the owner had accrued over the years. They were never dusted, despite being on shelves that lined the top of every wall in the tiny shack of a diner, and thus you could easily tell that a few new additions had been made. You know, because those cookie jars were way less filthy.

That’s gotta be a heath-code violation.

After you heard a bit of garbled yelling, the hostess rushed out to take her place in front of you. Smoothing down her polka-dotted apron, she grinned at you.

“Table for two?”

You blinked. It was too early in the morning for fully intelligent speech.

“Uh. No. Just me today. Thank you.”

Her big, bedazzled cat-eyeglasses fell a little farther down her nose as she scrunched her face in confusion, “alright then. Just the one of you today...”

She grabbed a paper menu as she led your shambling body to a table near the window. Which was shut away with ancient looking vinyl blinds that you were too afraid to open, lest they crumble and the cost of replacing them be put on your on tab.

She had already disappeared back into the kitchen by the time you got yourself in a seat. You glanced around the room. You weren’t the only patron here, as a few tables held a few bodies, but you were the only one without your face buried in a newspaper. And to be expected honestly, you were the youngest person in the room at seven in the morning.

The hostess, who was also the only waitress in this tiny local business, placed two glasses in front of you. The dull sound they made hitting the table drew you out of your revelry. There before you were two cups, a steaming mug of fresh coffee and a short glass of milk. You looked up in confusion.

“Don’t worry, it’s whole milk. Builds strong bones.”

That... wasn’t your concern.

You looked back at the cup in confusion and by the time you turned back, she had already moved on to the next table, refilling mugs and having loud banter with the other customers. Her regulars, by the sound of it. You felt too apathetic to try and call her over again.

You shrugged, to no one in particular, as you did not have a breakfast partner with you, despite the waitress’s insistence otherwise. Wait, was she mocking you? Eh, maybe it’s just supposed to be for the coffee. Nevertheless, you would not be drinking the milk, so you just left it there.

Despite the prevalence of the local newspaper in the room, there wasn’t a dispenser or anything at the front of the restaurant, like there usually is. As you drummed your fingers on the tablecloth, bored out of your mind, you kinda regretted throwing your phone in the lake a bit more. Maybe not the best of moves.

But hey, at least you aren’t constantly quelling the incessant buzzing you’d be hearing if you’d kept it.

You busied yourself stirring your coffee while you looked over the menu again, just for something to read. Of course, you were ordering a waffle. Because this was a diner, and, yeah, you do like waffles. And pancakes. And French toast. Doodoodoodoo can’t wait to get a mouthful.

That voice kept echoing in your mind. The party can’t start without you.

“More coffee, Babycakes?” the waitress snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Oh! Yeah, thank you,” you moved the mug to the edge of the table, closer to her, “Say… I know this is an out-of-pocket question, but have you heard anything about Hurricane City? Maybe something about peaches?”

“Oh!” she snapped her fingers, “You mean the Peach Days. It’s a little heritage festival they put on every summer in Hurricane, you know. It’s a hoot, my family makes a trip out there every few years or so for it. Not this time of course, clearly, since I’m here talkin’ to you and not in Utah—”

“In Utah?”

Of course, it was Fucking Utah again.

“I know it’s soundin’ far, but it’s only ‘bout a day’s drive from here. Two days if y’ain’t crazy about following an itinerary like my husband,” she brushed a hand over her apron before you lost her attention to the other customers, “I swear that man would plan out a schedule for every second of the day if he could…”

After she wandered off to go top off more mugs, you lamented the fact that you still hadn’t ordered yet. That’s what you get for being nosy about peach festivals, you suppose.

Thankfully though, soon enough you had your hearty breakfast and were back in front of the wheel, on your way to the friendly neighborhood Walmart. Where hopefully no cops or employees would bother you as you crashed in the parking lot.

You took Fredbear to the backseat with you for good luck. Maybe it was the gold color, or the fancy getup he had. Maybe you just needed a cuddle buddy to not feel so alone in this parking lot swarming with people.

Much to your disdain, it was now a bit into the morning hours, and the sun was fully up.

You had tried to find as shady a spot as possible, but it’s not exactly like trees grow in this biome. At least not naturally. Windbreak tree lines were definitely a thing, but those protected buildings people cared about, and this was a Walmart. Nothing around here but concrete, rocks spray painted blue, and cigarette butts.

So after tossing and turning in the bright blinding sunshine for way longer than you should have, and making promises to higher deities was proven to be unfruitful in your attempt to find some semblance of peace, you finally just had to admit defeat. And here by rescinding any aforementioned promises to higher powers.

You laid Fredbear back down on the seat and tucked him in with the blanket when you got back up. At least one of you could be cozy and well rested. Unfortunately, it wasn’t going to be you, however.

Well, it’s far from the first all-nighter you’ve pulled without having time to take a nap during the following day. Sleep deprivation isn’t real, silly. Teachers just made that up to scare you. It’ll be fine.

***

You know you never really realize how much we structure our lives around other humans until you take a drive through the middle of nowhere. How essential it is to have enough gas to make it to the next town. From town to town, your life becomes segments. Only within the eyesight of other humans are you ever safe. Only within the bounds of the settlement can your soul be settled.

Gas stations become oases. Which is the plural of oasis, apparently. Anyway, you start seeing them like mirages. Dingey, weather-worn gas pumps become as good as a sparkling illusion of precious water in the Sahara. The empty shells of buildings you passed by, long since forgotten, became like mausoleums in these graveyard towns. Villages. Hamlets. Mostly hamlets.

“Are we there yet?” a small and very annoyed voice called out.

You had just written it off as your imagination until you heard the noise of shuffling fabric. Normally your audio hallucinations aren’t that detailed. Paralyzed, you held your breath, not daring to make any noise that would distract your ears from hearing whoever, whatever, was in the back seat. Your mind went to stories of skinwalkers and misshapen monsters and hitch-hiking serial killers.

“… Are we there yet?” the voice repeated, admittedly sounding even smaller to you now.

Yep, that’s a real person alright. Or a real thing. Your eyes were probably bloodshot from the way you haven’t blinked this entire time, just staring straight ahead on the desert highway. Taking a deep, shaky breath to steady yourself, you turned down the rear-view mirror…

Christ almighty. You had a stowaway.

Your stomach turned immediately. God, come on now, don’t puke up what little you had on your stomach. You need that.

“Hey Buddy,” you tried to sound as friendly as you could, “What’s your name?”

Clad in a little striped shirt and cargo shorts, he started kicking his feet in impatience, which would be cute if it weren’t for this situation y’all are in, and the adrenaline pumping through your veins, “We’ve been in here forever,” he whined.

If this was a skinwalker, he was a pretty darn adorable one. And definitely not a hitch-hiking serial killer. At least you hoped. But no, this was a greater form of terror: responsibility.

“Haha, yeah, we have been in here really long, haven’t we? How long do you think we’ve been driving, can you tell me?”

When did you pick up this child. When you got gas in Gallup? Albuquerque? Dear lord, if he’s been in here since Roswell, you’re about to have the world’s biggest headache on your hands, both metaphorically and physically. But there’s no way he’s been in here for fucking 10 hours, right? right??

Okay, okay. Maybe you’re just a little panicky right now and not thinking straight. Maybe teachers hadn’t been making up sleep deprivation just to scare you after all. You have been purposely not drinking anything for the lack of available restrooms. People get dehydration hallucinations, right?

The boy just stared at you, blankly. Probably fully realizing you were a stranger and not whoever he thought you were. In lieu of answering you, he started fidgeting more with the toy bear you had had in the back. You really hoped that hadn’t been what lured him into your station wagon in the first place.

Don’t be getting shy on me now, kid.

You put your blinker on, ready to merge off the road and onto an incoming rest-stop that you thanked your lucky stars for.

“Honey, can you tell me what your phone number is?”

He looked up at you, finally tearing his attention from the bear, and you could see gears turning in his head.

“…435-555-1987?”

You repeated it back to him, and he nodded. Alright, time to find that payphone.

Said rest-stop payphone was thankfully near a picnic table so you could sit him down and be able to watch him carefully the whole time you made this call. Because judging by the fact this situation was happening at all, he was a slippery one.

You got out of the car and opened the back door, but he was hesitant to get out. Which, fair, you are a stranger trying to get him to a second location.

“What’s up, Bud?” you tried your hardest to not sound like a predator but boy was that a real nebulous idea, wasn’t it?

“Fredbear wants to come too,” he mutters.

“Well, sure then, let’s bring him, we’ll have a little picnic.” With no food, but hey, whatever lie it takes to get him sitting on that bench.

It was really cute the way the kid set the bear down on the table and positioned it like they were going to have a picnic together. When you find this kid’s parents, you’ll let him keep Fredbear. Toys like it when they’re given to new children, right? Wasn’t there a movie about that or something. Wincing at the grubbiness of the payphone, you reluctantly dialed the number.

“Hello, Jeff’s Pizza on Main St, are you ready to order?”

You closed your eyes, counting the seconds as you breathed in for 4 seconds, held it for 7, and released for 8.

“Hello? Are you there?”

“Yes!” you practically shouted into the receiver. So much for calming down, “please don’t hang up,” you pleaded.

“Listen, we don’t take solicitation,”

“No, uh, sorry. I’ve found a lost child who told me this was his number. Is the owner of this restaurant by chance frantically looking for their son?”

You heard some muffled conversation happening behind the phone, “Well, no, I don’t even have any kids… and I uh, am currently understaffed. Im the only one here.”

you cursed under your breath.

“Uh, alright, well…” you could tell this was getting really awkward for him.

“Could you tell me where y’all are, I’m unfamiliar with the area code,”

“Uh, Hurricane, Utah?”

… If you weren’t on the phone, you fucking swear you’d be screeching at the top of your lungs like a chimpanzee right now.

“Thank you, you know, just in case he’s just remembering an advertisement he’s seen or something,”

“Oh, okay,” there was a pause, “well I hope you find the parents or, whoever,”

“Thank you,” you’ll put him out of his misery and hang up.

“Are you sure that’s your number, Hon?”

“Uh-huh,”

“Why don’t you tell me it again, maybe I dialed it wrong,”

“435-5--” his face scrunched up in concentration, “435-555—I don’t know…”

You tried not to look visibly stressed at this answer.

“Do you know where you live?”

He moved the bears paws along with whatever little game he was playing, before looking up at you, head tilted in confusion, “Hurricane?”

Okay. Police time. If not for him, for you. The skinwalker possibility just went back up. Because, honestly, he had to have gotten in your car as a coyote or something. No way you wouldn’t’ve noticed a whole ass child entering your car.

“How does ice cream sound, huh Buddy?”

“I want ice cream!” he said hastily as if you’d change your mind if he hesitated.

“Ice cream it is then, but only if you’re good for me and the officers, okay? And tell them everything you can remember. You’re smart, right?”

“Uh-huh,”

“Great,” you smiled over clenched teeth.

After herding him back into the car, you had to take a moment to gently rest your head into the steering wheel. And it took everything within you to not smash said head into it. Or scream in agony. No, no, we mustn’t scare the child.

Tuba City wasn’t too far away. The police station was downtown, as most are. Luckily, across the street there was a paleteria with a courtyard area. The little guy got very excited when you got pulled into the parking space, so eh, what the hell, ice cream first. Maybe after a treat and some playtime in the courtyard he won’t be as wiggly and will be able to tell the cops what he knows about just where the hell he came from.

The noise of the bell chiming made you flinch as you two walked into the paleteria. You hadn’t thought you were that tightly wound right now but apparently you were wrong. The lady behind the counter greeted you warmly, and you responded in turn, trying to play it cool.

God, imagine if she got an off-vibe from you and the kid and called over the police from across the street before you even have a chance—

Deep breath. Okay. The kid you had started referring to in your head as just “Little Boy” was leaned against the display case, his breath fogging up the glass in front of him and probably leaving little handprints for the shopkeeper to clean later.

“I’m sorry about that,”

“That’s… Okay. What can I get you?” she seemed a little confused. Strange, but you brushed past it just as quickly as she did.

“Ah, what do we want?” you asked Little Boy.

He excitedly tugged on your pantleg and pointed to the popsicle he wanted, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. He doesn’t need to convince you, but you quickly realized you were not going to be able to say no to any else after this if he deployed the same cute begging look.

“One of those cute little Tweety Bird faces,” you pointed.

“Anything else?” she handed you the popsicle and you gingerly took it.

“Nah, that’s it” you were too nauseous to eat right now.

You paid, throwing the change into the tip jar, and turned to give Little Boy the popsicle she handed you.  The words caught in your throat as you looked down to find your pantleg absent of any tugging by any Little Boy. You quickly scanned the tiny paleteria. He was nowhere to be found, anywhere in the room.

“Uh, did you see where the kid went?” you tried not to sound too panicked.

She was taken aback, also quickly looking around the room to find no one, before shaking her head, “Did you have a kid with you?”

You furiously nodded in confusion,

“I’m sorry, then I didn’t see them,” she pointed to the glass door that led to the courtyard only a few feet away from y’all, “Try outside, maybe?”

You burst outside, searching the area in a panic, but you couldn’t see him anywhere. Not hidden in the tangle of the garden, not splashing around in the fountain, not at, under, on top of, or around any of the tables.

You went to call his name, but your voice caught in your throat when you realized you didn’t have a name to call. And.

And.

Something hit your shirt. A water droplet. You looked up into the clear, blinding blue sky. Your nerves tickled as another droplet ran down your cheek. Oh, you were crying. Huh.

You took the closet seat you could find, counting the things processed by your 5 senses. It’s all you could do to not start bawling for no reason. Maybe you’ll calm down and be able to think straight soon.

Why can’t you think straight? Everything feels so fuzzy.

You should be terrified, and in a way, you were. In your heart of hearts, you knew the truth: Little Boy wasn’t real. Or at least turned back into a coyote and ran off.

As you stared vacantly into the open air, you realized you still had a dripping popsicle in your hands. Supposedly “Tweety Bird” shaped, it just looked like a yellow skull missing its mandible bone to you. How fitting.

You pulled it to your mouth. Yum. Tasted like AAAAAAAA. Or orange, according to the package.

Attempting to lick the melted yellow liquid off of your hand, you accidentally stuck the ice pop on your face. Great. Now you’re sticky all over.

God, you’ve really gone and lost your fucking marbles this time, haven’t you.

There was a bulletin kiosk a few feet down your field of vision. On that bulletin kiosk was an old poster, barely visible as it was buried under layers of other flyers. It caught your eye and seemed to burn your retinas. What little you could see was the word Freddy and part of what looked like a version of the bear you’d been toting around this whole little expedition, but that was enough.

Something clicked. You looked down at the bear hanging by your side in your other hand. The kid had shoved it into your arms so he could more easily lean on the display case, right before he disappeared the very moment you took your eyes off of him.

You know, you hadn’t really felt alone since bringing Fredbear home. And not in a good way.

Guess the name you should’ve been calling was Freddy.

You had to get rid of that bear.

***

You had been walking home like you always did, same route. But you noticed something peculiar about this time. The house that the old man had his yard sale in was now stripped of all decoration, with a For Sale sign proudly standing in the grass. No cars, and no blinds or curtains on the windows, so you could see into the den which was now devoid of any furniture.

You’ll admit it, you crept around to the other windows, searching for any signs of life at all in the empty rooms. None. No furniture, no people, no trash. The yard sale was yesterday. How did they clean this place out so thoroughly in the short amount of time between when you’d seen it last and now.

A little confuddled, you went home as usual. While strange as hell, this wasn’t a missing person’s case or anything. And it’s probably why the man was so adamant on giving you Fredbear because it was the end of the day. He had a deadline. He was skipping town.

God, you wished you could just skip town.

You frankly thought nothing of it when you unlocked the door to your apartment to see Fredbear was already seated on the couch, like he was all set to marathon whatever 30-year-old cartoon you wound up watching that night. And it’s not like your roommate hadn’t done something like this before, move a stuffed animal or action figure into a funny position for you to find later.

You hadn’t seen him much lately. Or like, at all. The only reason you knew he was still alive were the dirty dishes in the sink, dirty clothes on the floor of the bathroom, and the aforementioned moving the bear around.

Looking back now, was he moving the bear around?

If you locked the deadbolt that can’t be unlocked from the outside, you’d be guaranteed to catch him in person for once. But you weren’t willing to go through the trouble and emotional toil of doing that, however.

In the name of feeling less like a ghost haunting your own home, getting yelled at for intentionally locking your roommate out might be a wee bit counterproductive. Sure, you’d be seen and spoken to, but the harshness of his words and tone would send you into a worse episode than you were already in.

Well, at least Fredbear seemed ready to keep you company tonight...

The fact that they put unskippable advertisements on streaming services you’re paying for in the first place is criminal. Or at least regular cable tv in a trenchcoat.

You got a drink while they prattled on about luxury cars you couldn’t afford and real estate companies you weren’t going to have the privilege of patroning any time soon. Embarrassingly, as you poured the pitcher of water into a glass, you got a little distracted.

The cheap glass’s glass was only about a millimeter or two thick. You could easily just crush this cup in your hand, in one swift movement. The muscles of your arm began tensing up at the thought.

But thankfully, a loud, blaring advertisement coming from the TV snapped you out of it. And so, you promptly decided to Not Do That, because picking all of those tiny glass shards out of your flesh would be a bitch. And that was not how you wanted to spend a perfectly good Sunday night. And of course you didn’t need the questions at work tomorrow.

You returned to the couch, curiously, and you swear, that damn teddy bear followed you with its eyes. Even though they were a shiny, solid black, and the idea itself would be insane.

As you settled back down, you grabbed the remote to turn down the volume of the cheery music playing. Mysteriously, it wasn’t just a commercial with bad sound mixing, the TV itself had been turned up. Now that it had your attention, the thing that was being sold to you seemed to the state of Utah. You know, those Visit [X] ads that were commonly played between cooking shows and ghost hunting documentaries.

“Oh hey, you’re from there, right?” you poked at fredbear. And immediately felt pathetic. God, you’ve got to stop talking to inanimate objects and like get a boyfriend or something. Geez.

The imagery on the screen was just, you know, normal southwest stock footage:

A drone shot of Zion national park

Old men golfing

Owls living in holes they’ve dug into cactuses

Rock archways

A family laughing as they shared a pizza being served to them by a man in a bear suit that looked just fredbear,

“Oh, well there you are, I guess.” you once again absent-mindedly spoke to your toy friend.

Kids swimming in a fancy resort pool

A Navajo cultural event

More rock archways and red sandstone cliffs

Kids crowding around a claw machine filled with toys just like the one sitting next to you

Kids crowding around a stage as an animatronic band played

Kids crowding around a birthday cake, the light of candles bouncing off their faces as they sang along…

The fake sounding voice of the announcer rung out, “Visit Utah! You know the party can’t start without you!”

Your mouth felt dry. Good thing you now had that glass of water.

***

Of course, you did what any smart, sane person would do and feverishly ripped through the layers of old flyers to get to the advertisement for what you now knew was Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place. A themed diner and nickel arcade that made most of their money hosting birthday parties, by the looks of it. You knew the type; you had been an American child once too.

Good thing none of the cops were hanging around outside to fine you for littering, because the amount of paper you just released into the breeze was in fact criminal.

There was a short list of locations at the bottom of the poster. They had a few scattered over Utah, or at least they used to, judging by the harsh weathering of this poster. The closest one being in Bigwater, explaining why this poster was out here in Tuba. But the word Hurricane stood out to you like it was lit up in neon. It burned like sunlight.

It appears you are in fact on your way to Hurricane, Utah. As if you didn’t know that already at this point, you being out on the canyon rim instead of your much preferred and beloved Rockies. Well, congratulations bitch. You’ve only got another three hours to go. Better get going. Have fun!

***

Oh, this place was creepy as hell. Or it’s just late at night, and you’re sleep deprived and paranoid. In the spirit of being honest to yourself, ‘sleep deprived and paranoid’ has always been your natural state of being, but right now it’s definitely ramped up to an eleven.

But even though it’s been close to 48 hours since your last brain-reset, this place still had a certain energy about it. Like New Orleans, or the woods around lynching bridges did. That spooky oh I am Not Safe here type of energy.

The gas station-man gave you a real weird look when you stormed in and asked where the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place was. Normally you would’ve chalked it up to you being a clear foreigner asking for directions as if it’s 1995, to a children’s arcade close to midnight nonetheless, but now you weren’t so sure.

You eyed the fridge full of wine in pint sized bottles and little juice cartons. But nah, you probably needed to have a quick reaction time to whatever was waiting for you in this Venus flytrap you’re willingly walking into. You grabbed a Monster instead and you know what, yeah, that probably wasn’t the best decision either. If you weren’t high strung before, you definitely were now. You felt like you could punch a bear. A Freddy Fazbear.

You bought a local map alongside the energy drink, feeling like you were gonna need it. Man, low-tech was actually kinda annoying after a while. You got the gas station-man to begrudgingly mark Fazbear’s down onto it for you. Apparently, it and all other locations within town had closed down some twenty years ago. Not many people are still around who remember why, he said, but it had something to do with the faulty animatronics. Teenagers told ghost stories and dared each other to spend the whole night in the dining room. But otherwise, beyond the rumors, the original Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Place was just an empty, scorched building. And the other various locations like Jr’s or Circus Baby’s had been sold off, passing so many hands who knows what businesses were in there now. But you could still kinda tell, if you paid attention, in the same way you can tell if something used to be a Pizza Hut.

What you really wanted, according to gas station-man, whose nametag read Gary, was this new location that was opening soon, simply named Freddy’s Pizzeria. It’s set to open for business in September, so you’re lucky. He marked it one your map as well.

You don’t know why Gary was so nice to you. Maybe it was the harrowed look in your eyes. Maybe it was the twitchiness. Maybe Gary is just very bored of this tourist town and was looking to fall madly in love with a random troubled soul he met at midnight in a gas station and would wind up running away with to some far-off place. If that was the case, sorry Gary. You were too busy with the metaphorical torture labyrinth to care about romance at the moment.

You couldn’t decide if the haunted Fredbear would want to see an old location or the new one. You asked, but of course the fucker didn’t answer. Just sat there with his smug grin and glassy eyes that followed your hand movements. So, you quite literally tossed a coin. A new mint, the face side had Eleanor Roosevelt on it. And she marked the fact that you were going to try the new location first, and then try the original building next. Cool.

***

Your patience was kinda at its limit here, you’ll admit. You really should get some sleep soon. Or eat. Since you were hellbent on getting here and nothing else, the only thing on your stomach besides that wretched Tweety Bird popsicle is half a monster energy. Guess you’ll go by a fucking Denny’s after this. If you survive.

If you were going to die horrifically, you’d really rather the forces that be make it snappy. This was getting ridiculous.

You pulled into the parking lot. The building clearly wasn’t new but had been freshly painted. Nothing creepy so far. As you stared down the building, sizing it up, you noticed there was one car parked in the front, and a few of the windows were lit up.

Cool, so there was someone in there. Great. That makes, well whatever this is, much harder.

The door was locked.

You could hear music playing from inside. You banged on the door as loudly as you could manage, and it still took a couple of minutes before the music stopped. And then a very disgruntled man in coveralls was in the doorway, tiredly asking just what the fuck you wanted at this time of night.

He smiled to cover up his rudeness, but the smile stretched a little too wide, inhumanly wide, and a shiver ran down your spine.

You took him in, unashamedly raking your eyes over his form. He stood awkwardly, as if ready to bolt at any moment. What you could see of his build made him out to be weirdly skinny. That unnaturally wide smile gave way to some exposed teeth on the left side of his face. His eyes were shadowed by his bangs in the backlight of the door, but you swore they almost glowed themselves. His complexion was greyish and bordered on almost purple in this lighting.

Despite all this, he was still pretty handsome. Well, you did always think some of those creepypasta guys were boyfriend material. Maybe, you wouldn’t mind getting chopped up into little pieces if this guy was the one doing it. Okay, and maybe you’ve been sleeplessly chasing ghosts too long.

Startling you, he reached his hand to grab your shoulder, a little too fast.

“Hey mate, are you okay?” He asked nervously,

It snapped you out of your stupor, realizing you had yet to say a word to him, “Uh, yes, I just wanted to…”

How do you even fucking ask this. “Hey, can I bring a stuffed bear to your dining room so maybe it’s spirit will leave me alone? Maybe conduct a séance or something?” Seriously, did you even know what you were doing here? Shit. Okay.

“I wanted to ask if I could check out your facility?” came out like a question because even you had no clue what you were saying.

“Come back tomorrow in the daylight, then,” he began closing the door, shaking his head in annoyance, “or perhaps when we’re actually open.”

“NO!” you slammed your foot into the door as he closed it, “AAGH!”

“Jesus Christ! WHY.”

Dear lord, this man now 100% thinks you’re a crackhead.

“Just, don’t close that door, okay,” his brows scrunched together as you grit your teeth to swallow down the pain, “I need you to help me.”

“I really don’t have any money to spar--”

“I’M HERE BECAUSE OF A GHOST,” you interrupted. Finally, you managed to get that out somehow, if nonsensical.

A look of recognition flickered in his glowing eyes. He lowered into your space, kind of intimidatingly. Or intimately. Yeah, no, this was hostile, don’t fool yourself.

“What kind of ghost,” he asked suspiciously.

“Uh,” shit, okay, “the weird, haunted doll kind? Uh, like the ones the McElroy brothers are always bidding on on eBay. Or maybe this is kind of a Ben Drowned kinda situation, I’m not completely sure.”

He blinked, “okay, I only understood a few of those words, but—”

“It’s a Freddy teddy bear that really wanted me to take it to Hurricane, okay?” You really were at the end of your rope at the moment, “I have literally driven here for days straight on no sleep and barely any food and I need this Unauthorized Fucking Thing to find it’s eternal peace or kill me in some horrible way so I can hurry up and get on with my goddamn life,”

“Uh, see… the thing is,” he started to retreat back again, slowly moving his hands like he was trying to calm down a spooked animal.

 You realized what was about to happen, and it must have been visible in your eyes, since his huge unnatural placating smile returned,

“I actually don’t want anything to do with that, sooo…”

“PLEASE—” you reached out in blind panic, but he dodged it. (now if only you could’ve dodged the scooper like that Mikey)

The door slammed in your face.

Your breathing was ragged and fogged up the glass as he locked it again. You stared up at those glowing pinprick pupils of his as he gave you an apologetic little wave goodbye. And then he fucking made a big show of pointing at the closed sign before turning tail to disappear back into the darkness of the empty restaurant.

Okay.

Just a little setback. You’ll go to the older location first, now, and come back when this asshole is sleeping. Can’t be too hard to bust out one of those windows, and you doubt he has an alarm set up already. It’s his fault, really. If he didn’t want property damage, then he should’ve just let you in. Not like you haven’t warned him that you were desperate or anything.

Just gonna go to the other location. You’ve got your map, you’ve got a tank full of gas, and you’ve got chutzpah.

Now what you don’t have? Is a car that will start.

[ddejavvu]

For multiverse Monday

Doctor bradley Bradshaw dating single mom teacher reader andits being rooster first time meet her daughter being super shy and when she meets him " i wike your moustache " while hiding between readers legs maybe

sorry honey i couldn't really think of a good scenario where he would be a doctor and she would be a teacher and they'd connect while also meeting her daughter so i took out the doctor part! this isn't an au anymore, it's reader being an instructor at top gun and having a young daughter. i hope you're not too disappointed! also i know rooster would not have been in a class with the dagger squad during his time at top gun and that most of them only met for the uranium mission but fuck canon actually they're all school friends in a little group <3

--

"For the most part, I thought your simulations were done well. Many of you made rational decisions while considering both your safety and your plane's, and it showed. Some of you-" You try not to look at Hangman even though everyone else already is, "Were more... daring in your hypothetical plans. But that's something we'll discuss privately, when I come around to work through them with you."

Jake's smirk doesn't fall despite the relentless jabs he gets from everyone sitting within his range. You avoid speaking to him first, choosing to target Fanboy instead, who performed fantastically in his work.

There isn't much to go over with him, a play-by-play of his simulation that you agree with wholeheartedly. You only give him one pointer, and it's that he could be a little less cautious if he wanted to be. But you're moving onto his seatmate next, your back turned towards Rooster as you crouch over Payback's desk.

There's similarly minimal work to be done on Payback's simulation. He'd clearly done the assignment thoughtfully, and you're sure to give him a glowing review. When you step up to the side of Rooster's desk there's a lingering smile on your face, that he glances up at and returns with one of his own.

"Lieutenant Bradshaw," You nod, your voice kind, "Your work was done well. I do have a few pointers, though, if you'd let me nitpick?"

"'Thought you would," He admits, chuckling sheepishly, "It's hard to simulate something so unpredictable."

"I know what you mean," You nod vigorously, missing the sound of the door creaking open, as well as the silence that falls around the classroom from your other students, "There weren't any major problems, I just wanted to offer you some advice. I think you could change the way that you operate here," You tap your pen against the printed frame of his simulation, showcasing a maneuver he could have taken, but didn't. The second time your pen hits the page you feel something thud against your legs, and your hands brace themselves urgently on Bradley's desk to stop yourself from falling forwards into him.

"Oh!" You crane your neck backwards to see what had rammed into you, seeing the wispy-haired, pigtailed-head of your daughter.

"Oh, Lizzie," You breathe, laughing bashfully as a few coos are heard around the room. You sneak your hands beneath her arms, hauling her up off of the ground and onto your hip, "You are not supposed to be here, you know that. What happened to your group?"

"We walked by your door." Elizabeth mumbles into your neck, her tiny voice muffled nearly silent, "And I heard you talking. And I heard Phoenix, and I wanted to say hi."

Natasha gives her a sneaky wave from her seat beside the door.

"Lizzie, you're supposed to stay with the group," You try not to chide her, keeping your voice sweet as she flops herself lifeless over your shoulder, "They're going to be worried when they can't find you."

"I'll catch 'em and let 'em know," Bob offers, rising from his seat cautiously, "Probably on their way to the rec room?"

You pinch Elizabeth's side to get her to answer; she nods once into your shoulder.

You flash Bob a thankful thumbs-up as he rushes to catch Liz's daycare group, and you make a silent promise to yourself to get her a backpack with a leash on it.

When you turn back to Rooster, he's staring at your little girl. He's got a sweet smile on his face, something that no one seems to be able to withhold when looking at her tiny face. She's peeking right back at him, and you can feel her smile against your neck when he waves.

"Lizzie," He tests her name on his tongue, then glances at you, "Short for Elizabeth?"

"No," Your little girl pipes up, ready with the joke she's been waiting on (courtesy of her wisecracking grandfather) for two years now, "Lizard."

Bradley blinks.

"Lizard?"

You can't help but laugh, stifling the sound by biting your lip. He looks bewilderedly between the two of you, two giggly girls, wondering if he's crazy for mishearing something, or if you're crazy for naming your daughter after a reptile.

"It's Elizabeth," You confirm, "Her grandpa has a flair for bad jokes."

"Oh," Rooster breathes, face crumpling into half mortification and half relief, "I see."

"She steals all of his favorite ones," You lament, setting her on the floor only for her to smush herself between your legs and keep her face hidden behind your left thigh, "I think one day she's going to tell me she's 'trying to quit' when I offer her a juice box."

He snorts, "That's a good one."

A moment of silence passes between you, but it's not awkward, it's fond. You're almost ready to get back to your review of his performance, but Lizzie ducks beneath the desk to crouch by Bradley's feet. He cranes his head down to look at her, eyes questioning but kind.

"You have a plane in your pocket," She observes, poking at his F-14 keychain, "I sawed those at the gift shop once."

His face quirks into a smile at her grammar, and he tugs the keys out of his pocket so that she can fiddle with the plane.

"My dad gave it to me when I was your age," He tells her, "That's what he flew in."

"Your dad was a pilot, too?" Lizzie squints up at him, face scrunched.

"No, he sat behind the pilot. He didn't feel like driving."

Bradley's jokes seem to go over well with Lizzie, something that makes your heart flutter. She giggles at, her toothy grin on display, "You don't drive a plane, you fly it."

He chuckles, but he doesn't have time to offer her a proper response before she speaks again, still squinting up at him.

"I like your mustache," She blurts, and you're just glad she doesn't reach up to poke it, "It looks like my grandpa's."

"Less grey, though," You reach down to ruffle her hair, giving Rooster an amused smile when he bites his tongue to stop from laughing.

"Wanna know something?" He raises his brows, leaning in like he's telling Lizzie the nuclear codes.

She leans forwards, just as eager.

"My dad gave that to me, too. He just-" Rooster reaches up to tug at one end of his mustache, "-ripped it off of his face and-" He slaps a hand over his mouth, "-put it on me."

Elizabeth roars with giggles, squealing at the image. Bradley digs in his pocket, the one that hadn't held his keys, and comes out with a creased, yellowed picture from his wallet.

"See?" He holds it out to Liz, showing off a man that's undeniably his father, and a bleach blonde child you can't believe is him, "There he is, that's before he took it off and gave it to me. Can you tell it's the same one?"

"No!" She shakes her head, wobbling to her feet and reaching out. He doesn't back away, but your stomach churns awkwardly at her naive forwardness when she pokes at his lip, "Yours is more higher."

"Lizzie," You rush to grab her arm, but Rooster shoots you a soft smile.

"It's okay," He assures you, voice calm, smooth, and adoring, something that only worsens your pounding heart, "She's fine. I think she's right," He sighs, looking back at the photo, "Maybe he shaved it down before he gave it to me."

Lizzie doesn't have time to ponder the possibilities of The Bradshaw Mustache Transfer before the door creaks open again, Bob's hand bracing it open as a caregiver peers inside cautiously.

Her shoulders slump when she sees Elizabeth and she looks equal parts horrified and delighted at the sight of the unscathed little girl, "Miss Y/L/N, I am so sorry, I didn't-"

"She's an escape artist." You wave away the woman's apologies, "Don't worry about it. Even I can't keep track of her. Go on, Lizzie," You steer her away from Rooster, and you only sigh a little bit when she skips over to hug Natasha first, "And no more running off!"

She's not the one that promises you, her caregiver is. It's not reassuring.

"Anyways, I'm sorry about that," You're not sure if you mean for the general disruption, or for your daughter sticking her fingers around Bradley's mouth, but it's curved into a grin when you turn back to him, so you're sure he doesn't mind.

"It's alright," He promises, "She's cute."

"You're good with kids," You muse offhandedly, ducking down once more to peer at his papers.

"I want a few someday," He admits, righting himself in his chair and tucking the photo of his father away, "I guess this is practice."

"You'll be a fantastic father," You gleam, trying to ignore the familiar heart-flutter when his hand brushes against yours reaching for his pen, "And I'm sure your son will love to carry on the tradition of the Mustache Transfer."

[wannabe-minion-of-chaos]

It's five in the morning I haven't slept and I come bearing a Chaos Theory au scenario. Prepare for angst

So hear me out here, hypothetical episode of this fictional show, it starts relatively normal. Chaos and Mysterion are doing their usual back and forth, Chaos and Disarray having some kinda plan and Mysterion trying to stop them, a normal Tuesday.

Until it isn't, a freak accident happens and Chaos accidentally kills Mysterion, idk let's say he accidentally shoved him off a building or something, it can't be anything too gorey

So in this au, Mysterion's powers basically work as they do in tfbw, the only exception being how he's revived. Every time he dies his soul is ejected from his body, becoming basically a ghost, and he has to either wait for his body to heal or completely regenerate to re-enter it and revive himself. And of course everyone would forget him dying as soon as he enters it again.

But back to the plot, Mysterion at first is just sort of annoyed I guess, not really upset at Chaos because who hasn't killed him at this point? And he's just gonna come back anyways so he's just gotta wait which is boring.

That is until he sees Chaos's reaction

Chaos is...not okay, despite all his plotting he never means to KILL Mysterion, hell he enjoys having to fight him, his plans wouldn't be the same without the vigilante coming to try and stop them!! Hell Chaos never means to kill ANYONE, he's a menace not a monster!!

At first he just thinks Mysterion is knocked out, trying to wake him up. Then he panics, realization slowly seeping in on what he's done, Mysterion is dead, he killed Mysterion. Disarray at this point makes his way over saying they have to go before someone finds them, it's very similar to his reaction when Butters froze Cartman in that one episode.

Eventually he's able to guide the now hysterically sobbing Chaos back to their evil lair™ (it's basically the same storage thing in canon just a bit bigger), Chaos is clinging to Mysterion's body like a lifeline, as if letting go would lose him forever.

Mysterion is...shocked to say the least. I mean he didn't expect Chaos to enjoy killing him or something but he's never seen someone care this much when he dies, let alone get genuinely worked up over it. In a way it's relieving someone actually cares but it's still hard to watch, even if this is his arch nemesis feeling this guilt and remorse over killing him. And he can't really do much of anything about it since nobody can see him in this state.

Disarray has no idea how to comfort Chaos at first, barely even being able to process this death himself, before he gets an idea. After convincing Chaos to let go of Mysterion he decides to go full mad scientist mode and try and reanimate him. Much to Mysterion's annoyance. Stop fucking with his body goddamnit he needs to get back into it!!

Throughout the episode Mysterion would keep trying to get back to his body only for it to be conveniently whisked away and he has to go follow it again. Some shenanigans ensue there providing some much needed lightheartedness.

In the end he probably just normally revives causing both Chaos and Disarray to forget, which of course is a bit more impactful to Mysterion given Chaos's reaction and how that's just erased now. But he does know at least someone would care when he dies now so that's a little closure.

If you made it to the end uhh thank you for listening to my sleep deprived rants (and please send me asks about other episode ideas I have so many of these/nf)

[aihoshiino]

Imagine if things never went wrong between Ai and Hikaru, and they ended up getting married and raising Taiki together alongside Aqua and Ruby?

i feel so sorry for all the anons who send me cute prompts and then get responses like this lol

SO!!! To be very clear anon, this is not me being Mad At You and while I do 100% sound heated and mad in this response this is because this is something I feel pretty strongly about but haven't really had an outlet to explain lol. But I actually personally really hate the trend in fandom of portraying Taiki as being raised by Ai and Hikaru in hypothetical happy end AUs and I don't think people are REALLY actually thinking about what they're presenting here.

Like... Hikaru is a rape victim! Taiki is a child produced by Hikaru being raped, as a child himself no less! He did not consent to that pregnancy! Hikaru is not Taiki's father in any sense but the purely biological and he clearly does not have any positive or fatherly feelings for him - his absolute meltdown at Airi and Uehara's funeral is implicitly triggered by the sight of Taiki and his continued existence being a symbol of Airi's violation of him. And if 15 Year Lie is anything to go by, we have every reason to believe that Airi was not above weaponising the fact of her pregnancy to make Hikaru feel complicit in and eternally soiled by what had happened to him.

I hate resorting to this kind of rhetoric but imagine for a second that we were talking about a female character here - you immediately, instinctively recognise how utterly insane it would be to present "raising the baby she was forced to conceive with her rapist at age 11" as a happy end for her so why is Hikaru not given this same grace? What happened to Hikaru is not any less traumatic or less of a violation just because his rapist was the one who got pregnant.

To be clear, it's not like I don't understand where this comes from - this setup tends to exist in scenarios where the characters are uncomplicatedly healed and happy and this also applies to Taiki. His life is so goddamn miserable that I understand the instinct to want to put him in what we know is a happy family and to imagine him, too, as happy and loved there.

But what happened to Hikaru and how Taiki was conceived are topics that cannot and should not be made uncomplicated. I can understand a discomfort or reluctance to engage with the topic of CSA even in a purely canon typical context but the solution to that is not to just handwave it away and refuse to think about its implications when directly engaging with the character who is a CSA victim. I think it's shockingly irresponsible even in just a fandom context to portray "raising his rape baby" as a happy end for Hikaru or to present even implicitly the idea that he has some kind of obligation or fatherly duty to Taiki, a child who was conceived without his consent.

[cuppajj]

so, idk if this counts as a suggestion,

but maybe, BAAU can be like... a seperate thing from the awakened ancient thing? like... I dont know how to explain it but like, its not canon to the actual crk storyline, so maybe you can take some creative liberties? /nf /genq

I’ve been considering that as my plan B! If all else related fitting in neatly with the canon CRK timeline fails, im just gonna go nahh ima do my own thing and diverge it from the canon however I want

(I would count that as a suggestion but I’m cool with it! Ig what I mean by “im not welcoming suggestions” is that I’m less comfortable with being fed ideas when I didn’t ask, like they want to write the au for me? I like it when people help me think of them on my own but not when people present scenarios and stuff like “what if you did [xyz]/you should do [xyz]” . they aren’t presented as fun hypotheticals and are more like telling me what to do . like im the one writing the canon and i get inspired by others’ ideas/questions, not like… answering directly to them? But even still that’s very rare, and in the case of the cheese saga it’s bc i sought help from my friends. Hard to explain but I hope I made sense. If not sorry OTL. I still like it when people ask me about certain things and characters I haven’t talked about, but I don’t like it if people are like. Telling me how to write my au. :’DD

You know the kinds of people who feel entitled to influencing how/what creators write stories? Thats basically what im trying to avoid. Anyway anon this doesn’t pertain to you or the vast majority of my anons rn bc my inbox looks pretty based and I know yall are just curious. Im flattered by your curiosity!)

EDIT: i should also add that consistency is a big factor in this, im fine if its like a harmless instance but if a single person proceeds to keep making the same suggestion(s) like they’re forcing it, then i have an issue. BASICALLY. hypothetical ideas and questions are still encouraged just don’t expect me to make what i say of it canon (unless our interests happen to align already) . that is a rare chance

[emelinstriker]

I have a theory about the reason people(myself included) want to make Reader not entirely human or better/stronger/different than human, can be:

a)we don't like being us, humans.

b)you know those animes where the mc is the most bland, boring, average character, but turns out to be extremely powerful, or gets an extremely strong abylities(by accident, coincidence, chosen one, their loved one is gonna die, etc), gets the attention of all the powerful gorgeus people around them(more often than not because the mc has an ability they are interested in).

And we kinda internalized that being just a human can't be all. There must be something more. A human can't be just a human.

But that's just a theory, a reader theory. Goodnight.

(This got longer than I wanted it to be KEKW- But I can't help it, I talk a lot if it's something I have personal experience with.)

Oh yea no, the those reasons why peeps wanna avoid being human has been clear to me for years. There's way more reasons than that, of which most come down to personal preference. I've glanced at and avoided enough fics since at least 2017 where the Reader is some form of hybrid, god or something that isn't human or isn't unspecified. Just because my own personal preference lies more with reading about a Reader who is actually a regular human on earth, just trying to get by daily in life.

Thing is that if you read a fanfic where the Reader has literally no other description other than "normal mortal human", then there's nothing more to it. Visuals are up to the person behind the screen, besides the fact that the character is a regular human. It's always lowkey painful for me personally seeing peeps try to for example slap wings onto themselves, and pretend like they didn't just read they're supposed to be human. While it's fine if they wanna fantasize about it and ignore any balancing or realism rules privately, the AU is already imbalanced af enough in canon when certain aspects come into play.

The "what if" questions about the Reader being anything other than a human with no magical or racial bonus abilities are immediately seen as nothing more than hypotheticals that I personally would rather like to avoid talking about. My response to them all would just be "No". Because honestly, unless I can see something as an actual possibility in my works and it's actually logcial, like the idea of a Reader being a cannibal as well as, I'd rather keep hypotheticals away and not treat them as if they were possible in canon. Which is why I just straight up am all like "No" at those instead of responding with my own headcanons.

I'm just not comfortable with people trying to force changes on pre-established parts/rule sets in the world building. That's also part of why the Judge is in control of basically the board and its rules, making sure they're being upheld and kept as much in balance as possible. Eight powerful servants is already way more than the AU was supposed to have initially.

However, I am open about the idea of different upbringings of the Reader and how they became the Master and all that, because that is literally part of the philosophy seen in the AU. The idea that all humans are different in the way they act, live, see the world, and interpret things based on their own experiences. You don't have to suddenly be turned into something you are not, but wish to be seen as by others to get along with the people around you, or even be a leader to them. In this case the champions. That's why I usually respond to people talking about either personal experiences they've made themselves, or if it's about a very much possible scenario for a person to be in, or if it's about some condition or disability.

The champions are moreso seen as an extension of such a scenario. They don't just fall heads over heels for the Reader overnight either, as they can also just remain forever platonic. The experience made to get to anything more than that relies on the Master's actions, behavior, etc. with each individual champion. Which is why my responses feel repetetive regarding the reactions of the champions. I can't go into detail on those general reactions as everyone's relationship and expeiences with them would be different.

The AU isn't based around just one Reader, but a collective. If one is non-human, everyone would need to be non-human, more specifically the same species, due to the borrowed soul being that of a human. The only thing that's the same for all the Masters is just the human soul, since that's the thing that lets them find the Reader in the AU and feel connected to them. The soul of the Reader is already powerful enough in that regard, even if it's just mainly for the connection and acting like a tracker for both the champions and the Judge. (Unless an oopsie happens and the Reader accidentally ends up turning into something like an insect the others have a harder time finding as the soul wouldn't be noticeable enough, of course. But it's a rare moment.)

The Reader's soul in my previous works in Undertale actually worked similarly, but was altered a bit in ESAU for the experiment being held in the AU.

[kijosakka]

how. how would i even write out a proper fic of dramaturgy au,,

cutting this off bc i got too caught up in myself and rambled

ok umm,, dramaturgy as an au is just so character study-ish and generally character-focused,, plus the initial developments made on island are kiinda important to the cast dynamic?? so as i see it there are a few options:

A: rehash/go through the unchanged plot of island, the TDDDDI special, some eps of WT, using it to develop the Situation from other characters perspectives while maybe having one or two to emphasize noahs characterization

it gives a lot of time for character developments outside of noah himself, and time to reinforce noahs own characterization using that outside perspective,, but could potentially get boring/long-winded, since nothing different happens and its literally just Characters Having Screentime

^ maybe sub a full going-through with character vignettes and specific scenarios throughout island/the special/celeb. manhunt or after TD/eps of WT??? i guess you could also slot smth like this in with the other ideas aswell

B: begin the hypothetical fic post-jamaica challenge and leading into london, use it to exposition some minor things and generally establish characterization before getting into challenges and actual canon divergence

it doesnt drag on (as much atleast), gives you enough time with enough cast members to establish what the others think of noah and what noah thinks/how he behaves and why (probably slot in his distrust of alejandro here??), more challenges gives noah more chances (and reasons) to break character, though the character development has to be slow and conflict should probably be built up (but im kinda partial to this one ngl)

C: kindof half-baked but beginning in london (i’m imagining literally at his eel line), where hes eliminated that episode, but comes back via comeback challenge; arc kicked off by being so pissed off that he has to come back and do the Same Shit yet again (and probably because of producer-rigging. again.)

the conflict/character dynamics would move a little faster, its less to trudge through and figure out canon changes like the butterfly effect of noah staying in the game in london, but having less characters to have relationships/interactions with (but making the ones had can be more developed/rounded as a result), less Time in general, the original idea of noah ‘unmasking’ alejandro is kiiinda less impactful this late into the game?? slightly i feel like

or D: even more half-baked than C and kinda just 'possible' and feeling out of place, but you could have noahs arc happen in all-stars instead (smth smth the audience was vv dissatisfied with how he ranked in WT and so he gets brought back)

^ this is mostly bc i like the motif of noah having eel-pond related scars and seeing it as a physical reminder of where 'acting like the camera isn't there' can get him (but you could potentially fit this into the C idea, posing it more as a bitter feeling/theme rather than a motivation to continue his facade)

i dont really like this one from a storytelling standpoint, and it doesnt make much sense since theres no character motivation via unmasking alejandro since everyone already knows at this point?? idk it is there though

umm yeah thats all ive got, i guess you could also mismatch ideas like B&C so the fic starts post-jamaica but noah still gets eliminated, or have noah eliminated after london but still winning the comeback challenge and coming back swearing vengeance (within his own head mostly) or smth like that

i kinda wanted to just put this Out in the World and let it simmer before i start combing through WT to make the allotted ‘official’ canon changes of this au lol

(and not to mention theres still the issue of the actual Ending,, does he win?? is his winning both symbolic and the first genuine, intentional break of character he makes, to the audience and his peers beyond the unintentional ones hes made along the way???

smth smth character growth, hes learned how to let himself break character but now hes learning to do it intentionally too??? < im partial to that but im also biased towards noah and any hypothetical win of his

^ or does he lose?? and his ending watching the finalists parallel the island bit where he Did Not Care but now??? idk idk the longer i think the more i like the whole symbolic win thing but in terms of storytelling/the Themes, does it Work. i do like to think so

the original draft of this idea has noah not in fact winning but it also had a strangely,,,,, vindictive tone?? that might not be the word but the Themes were different and noah was more scheme-ish rather than defense mechanism-having so im thinking the ending should change as well)

[1tsjusty0u]

can i present you with a random scenario. what would happen in an au hypothetical where only one of the champions survives the calamity. idk like what would happen for each champion im curious

ywah you can!!

ok this depends on if you mean like. taking links surviving role or surviving alongside link. in my au the former would be.. a bit more complicated? actually that could make for a really fucked up scenario of which i shant say as . probably spoilers? actually no . in wotb link actually dies early (a recent development meta-textually). so basically if hes already in there and a champion has to be put in their instead theres two routes. one he could never be put in there at all, already gone by the time they find the SoR. or two he Is in there but something just Fails Really Badly. it just.. wouldnt heal him. so its a last ditch effort to put a champion in there.

long text below Be Warned.

so while we’re on the topic of that scenario!!! lets start with it!! 1 mipha. she would send out an ok signal to the other champions, and she’d either check on her people first or try to get vah ruta to the nearest champion to help them. or hell she might check on zelda first. i think the plan without link would be to either say fuck it we ball and impa would take zelda to the castle, Or just go straight to kakariko instead as a safety thing. i think she’d actually check on zelda as she’s seen as the most important, then try to reach the champions. i think she’d have the same problems the champions descendants have getting into the divine beasts honestly, though vah naboris would be easy theres no water close enough. vah medoh is not only too high but has an actual shield. vah rudania walks around too much and causes way too much damage to death mountain. she could fire her shot at one of the divine beasts, but that would kill the champion inside it, wouldnt it? so she just resigns to help zelda and impa. she can take care of guardians well enough honestly. her cause of death would probably be either malice or trying to heal zelda or impa While Being Fought at. shes put in and boom 100 years later. i dont know how scales work but i think they wouldnt regrow in the SoR and she’d be left with scarred skin. either rhoam or a zora she knew would greet her on the great plateau. rhoam… wouldnt exactly be happy about. link not being there. mipha being able to defeat her blight is proof to him that shes capable, but also he really has no other options. who else is going to help zelda? mipha had defeated one of his creations.. so she could defeat him. she kind of has to, master sword or not- she’s the only one left. if a zora she knew was there instead i think itd reflect on her personally more? like her healing, her tendency to look after others instead of herself, how she’s dealing with this. the zora wouldnt force her to help zelda, maybe not even telling her. but yeag. still amnesiac, and things go mostly the same as canon besides some.. hiccups. going into zoras domain would have her literally not be able to leave, let alone go to zelda or any of the divine beasts. dorephan and muzu would gush over her because well. they havent seen her in 100 years!! and shes alive!!! she’s been martyred which would be. uncomfortable to her. because she doesnt know who that statue is, even if it looks like her. sure shes calm and nice, but the statues face.. it looks. serene almost. calm. lifeless, dead. vah rutas been protecting the place, and vah ruta would also say hi!! she’d get a memory of herself here which could include her little self or her pre cal self Hiding Things, like vulnerability. itd make her uncomfortable as well!! AND SIDON. sidon would have mixed feelings, but he would absolutely hang out with her in a more.. chill manner. just like. camping and eating. frog hunting. showing her how to ride a waterfall like she taught him. they get to know each other better like. well like siblings. she might do a pre cal and when she suggests leaving while doing a chill hangout she’d do That Smile. the hiding something smile basically, or ‘im the mature sibling’ smile. and sidon would be like ‘youre making that face’ >:( and shed go (sweating) ‘what’. but yeah. sidon would either go with her and travel with her or establish a mail system no matter the cost. They Will Talk damnit. going into other regions is hard when you cant really handle many temperatures that arent in the water. im ppretty sure zoras domain has chillfin trout in it so i think she’d do better in colder weather rather than hot, which sucks because two divine beasts are in hot weather. she’d probably still need at Least a ruby circlet though because hebra is probably too cold, or just sucks because of the snow. death mountain she’d have to put. so much flame resistance elixrs on. she’d also wear a sapphire circlet all the time there even if its not in the flaming zone. she doesnt like the hot springs </3. yunobo and her would-

-get along i think. she’d probably be slightly annoyed at how scared he is but other than that no complaints. he’d be really nice without being a pushover and i think she’d relate/admire that. she’d eat smotherwing butterflies. daruk would be really happy to see her. getting into gerudo town sucks so so soo badly. sand keeps getting under her scales, its Dry, its Hot (during the day), and theres not like. an elixr for her scales. the only real place sand Isnt on her is the lake in the kara kara bazaar. i think she’d put on flame resistant elixir there just so it protects her scales. or she gets some armour to help her with that. otherwise she’s let into gerudo town. vah naboris would be a nightmare for her. she’d have to have like. a hazmat suit for that one. and the yiga!! she wouldnt like them the moment she hears of them, which has to do with link pre cal but saying too much is spoilers. honestly though. i dont think theyd try to kill her, at least not Nearly as much. after all shes Just Some Zora. no sword, no divine intervention. after getting the thunder helm though theyd go after her probably. but yeah she does Not like them and will actually fight them the first chance she gets. this caused problems for the thunder helm stealth mission. urbosa and revali would be impressed to see her but also worried (revali) and defeated/giving up almost (urbosa). she and paya would get along really well and she’d clean with her Instantly. though paya would tell her that she doesnt have to + she should. be doing other things. she’d buy links house which. weird feelings about it so she doesnt really live in it but its just. There. like a memorial. she’d also be annoyed at purah teasing her about having to get parts but she’d mask it. she’d like indexing fish and birds in her compendium, and the sanke carp Fascinates her. she’d like kass’s music and really just sit and listen to him play. she’d also try to tell him what the shrine solution was once she figures it out. though i dont think he’d tell her the calamity legends. impa does however. she’d find lurelin and would So Badly want to go into the sea. however its too much salt. she’d probably fish there honestly, fishing rod and all. also though seafaring is dangerous for her so. no eventide unless a good boat rather than a dodgy raft. she.. tries to make it into korok forest. but she doesnt know how, and if link ever told her how he did it she cant remember. also its Super haunting for her i think she’d minorly see horrors in the mist so. yeah no forest for her. she’d defeat ganon though, and she’d probably live in zoras domain but take zelda with her. OH ALSO HER MEMORIES…. zeldas photos wouldnt help her too much. only 1 has her in it. so she’d get memories based on her surroundings, like how link gets snippets of the champions. seeing her trident would get a memory, the veiled falls shrine would have a memory, goponga village would have a memory, maybe the east post would have one?, and she’d have a zelda memory somewhere in zoras domain (maybe with those history tablets, or in an area with wildlife). and if link has a grave thatd also have a memory. she’d also get a memory of impa because hell yeah. im tempted to make link a spirit that follows her like the other champions honestly. but yeah post cal sidons been set as the ruler so. she can do what she wants. she’d mostly help zelda though.

in the scenario she lives alongside link, she’d tend to him on the great plateau and generally help out purah and robbie. she’d have to be at the domain most of the time though, and she’d be next in line for the crown rather than sidon. she’d grow older and do her best to help with the side effects of the calamity. she HATES yiga even more here than the last scenario. she also hates guardians, but she can take care of even the stalkers now. she’s there to greet link instead of rhoam, and helps him recuperate. she doesnt have a paraglider at first so for him to get down he’d need to climb down. or she couldve made a river system into the great plateau so if he holds his breath he can dive in and out. he still has to do the shrines zelda let mipha know that he has to. she might also travel with him honestly. she’d also spearhead the guardians on the great plateau when she finds out some are active. things would tense between them as time goes on but thats another story. basically old lady who may want to kill.

if revali survived!! uhh first scenario. he would fly all the way to the other champions first, and would check on zelda last. he’d also try to see how the village is doing before he flys to the champions. he cant get to naboris or ruta because he cant see anything, and rudania is at a Really painful angle, and with death mountain erupting.. its a pipe dream to make it there. he dies also to malice, or maybe to a guardian shot. same deal as mipha, either rhoam or a rito he knows greets him. rhoam has the same feelings (+exasperation because of all the champions, it was revali. and he’s a lot more of an old man to him with like changing the deal and teasing him. they would probably fight if not for the fact they dont hate each other). if it was a rito theyd focus more on flying than anything else. actually. he can get off the great plateau. i mean unless he forgot how to glide/one of his wings couldnt work he could. simply get down there. so for plot lets say he forgot how to fly and glide. once he learns how to again he goes to kakariko, and once he learns of rito village hes goes straight there and almost never leaves it. its His Hometown damnit!!! the nostalgia would get to him. though not knowing anyone would be… weird to him. but he’d still love the village. he and medoh would banter but theyd miss each other. he has to get to vah ruta by walking and hes SO mad about it. he would absolutely fight muzu if muzu hated him like he hated link. maybe muzu would doubt his skills and insist no outside help is needed. mipha would be sad probably. not to see him but just to see her family. but i think her and revali would be friends like pre cal and theyd have fun just with now looming dread. the flame resistant stuff would suck to put on, but he isnt going to drink it so he suffers instead. he would probably like yunobo. he’s able to reassure him better and yunobo is like you mentioned more reasonable in general so. yeah!! OH YEAH also he and sidon.. hm. i think sidon would tease him/punk him a lot. be more mean but thatd be why theyd get along in the end. frienemies. vah naboris. would be awful. sand in his feathers the same way mipha had sand in her scales. itd be Doubly hot for him, so he’d have to go at night but rito have terrible night vision so it sucks, and he cant even get into town. he spends a good minute arguing with the guard, not about wanting to be let in but to do Divine Beast things. eventually riju has been summoned and, while exasperated, she believes him. he still has to get the thunder helm, and hes more neutral on the yiga than mipha is. he sees them as a threat but like. he doesnt despise them. if they werent threats itd be fine. i think hes also slightly scared of them. he sneaks through, master kohgas defeated and the yiga are after him, and actually doing naboris hed also need a hazmat suit for. though its a bit better because ARCHERY YEEAAHH 🔥🔥🔥🔥💶💶💶🦅🦅🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹. urbosa would feel the same like she did with mipha, except more exasperated and defeated because Its Revali. daruk would be happy to see him though still. link may or may not be a spirit here? itd be tense at first but i think itd mirror their friendship arc pre cal (of which i need to answer that ask i am sorry) except the roles would be swapped. youll see. anyways yeah. payas meh to him, doesnt like impa a lot but doesnt hate her, would debate purah probably Somehow. he wouldnt buy links house probably. memory locations: his bow and arrow, the flight range, the tabantha village ruins, tanagaar canyon/dinraal, mabe village perhaps, one of zelda same with mipha, links grave, and maybe one of impa. also possibly one at the secret hot springs. post cal he’d constantly help rito village and thats it. Maybe help zelda if she sends a letter but yeah. he’d have to find a hobby though

living along side link. he would also help purah and robbie, though less so. he’d be forced to greet link but in the meantime he’d protect his village and basically become the elder. seeing a young link whiles he old would be… disconcerting. he’d probably feel a mixture of guilt and anger. same deal as mipha though he has a paraglider for him. he wouldnt kill the guardians however and would just find a route for him to avoid them. he’d also be straightforward about what happened to link as opposed to mipha, so their relationship would be less strained as time goes on. he travels with him up to rito village and no more. i think he’d also visit the champion descendants to do his best to help them out.

daruk!! he’d go to the champions straight away. vah ruta is isolated in water which he cant get to (and also has a shield), vah medohs way too high up, and naboris wont stay still, and though hes mighty he can absolutely get crushed by naboris’s legs. god how would he die. yiga misfire maybe???? malice once again?? probably just an accumulation of malice. hed try to instantly leave the plateau (no fall damage like majoras mask goron rock ball form) and while rhoam (if he was there) would try to tease him he’d have to just tell him ‘hey. you Have to do this. Its important. please’ or would straight away tell him the truth. if a goron spirit was there . shrugs. theyd probably focus on strength and building enough to get ganon. goron city, hailed as hero though hes a bit uncomfortable about that and tries to both take it and be mature(?) about it if that makes sense. like hes more comfortable with it than mipha, but it still puts him off a little. vah rudania would hate to see him (rudania missed him so much its unbelievable). vah ruta would be. one Hell of a divine beast to do. he’d have to use a thunder sword instead of arrows, and he’d be A Test to sidons strength as a whole. OH ALSO yunobo would love him !!!!! him bludo and yunobo would probably hang out post cal. anyways. vah naboris he would simply slam into their legs instead of bomb arrows. still would need the thunder helm. master kohga would respect daruk enough however business is business and right now theyre enemies. daruk would not like the yiga like mipha . closer to the hate scale than revali but less than mipha. he’d be pretty pissed at them and wouldnt realize why for a while. the yiga have to get inventive when he becomes wanted which means new weapons methinks!! also he’s let into gerudo town. gorons r genderless so. hell yeah. and. ok so daruk cant get up to vah medoh theres. not many options. either he’s chucked from hebra peak at all of medohs batteries and is finally chucked on board, Or if youve seen klerics 10 ways link can make it up to that divine beast on his own he does that. also also urbosa would have more hope with daruk than mipha and revali. revali would secretly be happy to see the guy. link might be a spirit as usual. memories! his stone smasher, death mountains peak, military training camp, the place where link saved him which he mentions in his diary, the hot springs/springs near the base of death mountain, honestly probably meeting mipha (maybe trading fish) ((where no clue, though he has memories of the other champions like all of them of which they arent the samw memory locations in botw. like miphas statue doesnt trigger a memory for daruk and anyone else ok sorry)), uhh zelda, impa?, links grave, and maybe some place in akkala.

the second scenario he would constantly try to help the descendants rather than link as he figures purah and robbie got it covered, but he visits them while they do great plateau things and they chat!! maybe try to take care of guardians. he would be the most straightforward with link, both in helping him gain strength but in his memories. he’ll offer to travel but wont force it on him. other than that he’d stay on death mountain with rudania. most things wouldnt be a threat with daruk around honestly. just a support beam basically. kind of sad because i. dunno what kind of character arc he would have in most of this. </3

urbosa!!! she’d take a quick glance at her people but go to zeldas and the champions aid. its hard to tell which she’d go for first.. like on one hand she’s biased towards zelda but she just went through a blight and can hear the SOS signals of the others. maybe multitasking? getting naboris to zelda as fast as she can, picking her up/dropping her off (which could lead to some chatting on the way), and then to a divine beast, maybe realizing about a quarter left of the way that theyre already dead and theres no point now. mipha would have a similar revelation probably just.. later. but urbosa dies helping zelda and impa, either distracting something or getting ambushed. great plateau, you know the drill. if rhoam was there theyd have some, “lovely” chats (theyd be So petty against each other. she’d find out her smiting power by trying smite him. though they are friends and have fun and would drink with each other.) and once her whole deal is revealed they have a little heart to heart, and this becomes even more serious to her. she’d go straight to the castle or would reluctantly go to kakariko taking rhoams suggestion seriously. if a gerudo was there it’d probably be more fighting training/regaining strength, plus. warnings of the world beyond this plateau. anyways. impa and her would be besties (though impa would be.. too lax for her). and she’d enjoy paya a lot, maybe try to flex on her to tease her. zoras domain dorephan and her would get along i think AND OH WAIT. SHE HAS LIGHTNING POWERS. if she can get the thunder helm she could finish vah ruta in one strike (though it Does worry the zora a bit). she may throw shade at muzu for his hate of hylians and of the shekiah tech (especially the latter i think). sidon and her would be battle buddies i think, theyd constantly try to outdo each other but still respect each other to have Actual Teamwork. dynamic duo that will kill you. also she makes fun of him sometimes. anyways. mipha would be pretty happy to see her! death mountain. either drinks the elixir first and then realizes most people apply it on their skin so. oops. but she doesnt really care so she keeps drinking it like its champagne. chugging. despite being used to the desert she still doesnt like the heat. yunobo and her would also get along i think!! she would just immediately kill whatever hes afraid of and he looks in. slight fear. though the mines was a workout for her and shes making sure he knows he Owes Her for that one. anyways daruk would be ecstatic to see her theyre Instant Besties. new ghost pal perhaps as well. he’d yell like a sports fan everytime she beats the blight/gets a hit. its chaotic that time the energy is just net positive despite the circumstances. hebra. honestly. she might be ok with it? the desert is cold at night and she lives next to snowy mountains. nice change of pace. teba gets her up there pretty easily, maybe bow troubles? slices the targets with her sword as teba watches in surprise yet defeat. revali and her would, once again, be very petty. however revali would still worry with the blight but she’s fine. i think she’d hate the rotating angle of vah medoh. aaand naboris!!! no freeing to do she just gets to see a long time friend of hers (naboris). she’d love riju and riju may feel a bit of pressure, but over all she’s welcomed back with open arms (maybe some new locals not recognizing her which would be interesting). though she’d have to clear the yiga. now on the hate scale, she probably wants them annihilated (i am so sorry). like riju would have to pull her back saying ‘heyheyhey yeah they suck but dont??? kill them??? or their entire clan????’ which would only barely stop her. she wouldnt even try to sneak through she’d fight them and threaten kohga for the thunder helm. kohga lets her have it without fight and makes a retreat, though he probably lays low? if he hunts her afterwards is debatable because on one hand she Is a threat to them and ganon, but also she Can kill them before they teleport and retreat. so a bit of a choice. also hateno, purah and her wouldnt be-

too much of friends but theyd get along well enough. same with robbie. she wouldnt get links house to her its not her problem. or maybe she does but because she’d think itd be a nice place for zelda. kass and her would just be diplomats to each other. link spirit maybe shrugs . memories!! sword and shield, kara kara bazaar, southern oasis?, shield surfing champion shrine that she did, patricia maybe?, digg dogg suspension bridge, a spring memory with zelda, flora and fauna with zelda, links grave, impa, the champions yadda yadda. the memory numbers probably dont match up between all the champions sorry

second scenario!!! exclusively helps zelda and either stops her from letting ganon eat her or tries her best to fight ganon before retreating and he eats zelda. then she just. wanders. purah probably helping her cope or just. do things. she might even stay in kakariko for a bit, and she moves out of gerudo town. she’d say goodbye to everyone of course. but ywah. also maybe guard kakariko from yiga of which cado would fear her immensely. she’d either greet link or let rhoam do it and just meet link at kakariko and be Cryptic and Vague like he was but push him towards helping zelda, maybe even traveling with him. however she’d probably try to have him stay On Track constantly which would go. poorly. either that or she silently judges him but doesnt say anything. she’d only really hammer in to Go To Castle once all the divine beasts are free. they probably split off though, urbosa going to either chill or help in some way just elsewhere. like helping robbie light his ancient oven and getting guardian tools. also she has more wrinkles now shes super super old

if link isnt revived but the champions arent put in the SoR itd just be a mix of the two scenarios, slowly chipping at the divine beasts while helping out globally and getting old and having to cope with everything afterwards because they still have their memories

this . may not have been what you meant. i am sorry. however. thumbs up

ALSOALSO wanting the yiga dead is not a morally pure/correct course of action for them. it is not morally right thing to annihilate an entire group of people this isnt a bug its a feature. them wanting the yigas dead is not good. just in case.

[saline-coelacanth]

Say hypothetically that Oliver puts on a wolf mask and someone uses the gong of shattering, what would happen to Oliver other than shattering his goodness? Would he learn shatterspin?

Well he would definitely learn shatterspin since that's sort of the main thing you get from using the gong. But I definitely think exploring his goodness being shattered is much more interesting than that considering Oliver's whole situation.

I feel like just one use of shatterspin would be enough to completely shatter all of Oliver's goodness considering his whole being the Overlord thing. It might even instantly change him into his Outburst mode as he'd be filled with rage and hatred. Except this time nothing would be able to calm him down.

Definitely an interesting concept that would be fun to explore in an au of this au type scenario since I don't think I'd ever go this route in the actual canon of the au. But yeah, Oliver would be terrifying if he ever used shatterspin and I think that's just a fun, angsty idea to think about.

[cosmica-galaxy]

so remember the big guy? y'know this one

i just found out that...the titan's are tinier when i did a height comparison with the big guy's canon height and the three titan's, and let's just say...i was laughing like my i hadn't laugh in my life when i foun out

In my au, the titan's can withstand all the extreme temperature's if they get a system instillation for that or the three titan's main engineer's made it so their core energy give's warmth or make them colder when they're all in a extreme environment, but let's set this in a perfect temperature for this hypothetical interaction's

the big guy would be lazy when introduced in a new and most of all, perfect temperature, it make's him so tired and lazy, but that doesn't mean he can't have a friendly chat and get some new meal rather then whale meat or his species vegetable's

───Titan Cameraman───

the big guy would meet the titan's in a random scenario, he met titan cameraman when the big guy was playing around with a broken building, after knowing each other, and the big guy communicating through rumble's/grumble's or a hiss, rumble's/grumble's means no, a hiss mean's yes, the big guy would allow Titan Cameraman to rest on his head when he get's to know him even better and well he need's to actually rest after a rough battle, the two would get along pretty well...well not the first interaction though with the Titan Cameraman in my AU...just in this AU their meeting went smoothly of course, if anything, the big guy wouldn't mind having Titan Cameraman around as a quiet but talkative company whenever he get's a chance to see him of course, but he got his duties and same goes for Titan Cameraman, protecting their people/alliance

───Titan Speakerman───

the big guy would meet Titan Speakerman via Titan Cameraman, the big guy isn't much of a fan of loudness because he spend's being quiet, but he won't mind some loudness from someone so tiny compared to him, the big guy would allow Titan Speakermen to sit on shoulder rather then his head, Titan Cameraman own's that spot because...[fourth wall break] he is the first titan that appeared in the series (·ω≦)...the big guy would kinda see Titan Speakerman as a robust or a reckless fighter, but he give's respect for that tiny little red speaker

───Titan Tv man───

the big guy wouldn't mind Titan Tv man's menacing aura, he actually find's it nice that someone also exude's a menacing aura rather then him alone, the two would meet when the Duo Titan's were heavily injured and very much tired, Titan Tv man was gonna help them after a very deep and smooth 'Hisss...' was heard and...well a fight nearly broke out as the big guy accidentally surprised Titan Tv man, when the big guy get's to know Titan Tv man he would allow him to sit on his left shoulder, the right shoulder and head is already taken, the big guy wouldn't mind Titan Tv man seeing him as a great scare for the skibidi toilet's, especially G-man, the two would work together if the army of skibidi toilet's are far too much, Titan Tv man would lead straight to the big guy, the big guy would eat them not before letting out a disgusted 'hiss...' as The big guy never tasted any meat beside's whale meat only

───The Titan Trio───

the big guy think's the the titan's are very much kind and respectful, he would have to break a silly fight, in a lazy way, and would help scaring off any skibidi toilet's or just straight up protect the Titan's when their situation is actually BAD and are in a DIRE situation, whoever the big guy think's as a friend would protect them with his Entire life...

───

so what'cha think? the big guy is definitely my favorite...ohmygodihavefavoritism..**AHEM** anway's! what do you think the titan's would do when how would they act from the first meeting to the present day after getting to know one another?

also, ignore this request if you do not understand it or you can't do it, i respect your decision, working and making sure your follower's have content is a pretty big thing to do but hey, focus on your health too, drink water, get enough sleep and well...i wish upon you to have happy thought's this entire year!..its a cheesy thing i ever said but i hope it make's you smile at least, also if your wondering, i have internet here in hong kong inside the hotel, that's how im submitting this :D but have a great day or night! bye bye!

DAMN THE BIG BOI IS HUGE!! Almost as big as Origin, in fact! lmao Though, this would make sense, as creatures in the ocean can grow to enormous sizes when the environment suits their needs. Big boi is just a gargantuan leviathan with a much more gentler demeanor.

I bet little mimics hide or ride along his "clothes" in the water like a big reef. He'll probably also protect them from larger mimics that have become sickened with the spiral illness. Two large leviathans fighting in the ocean would be a terrifying sight to see on the surface. He would probably also be big enough to wrap around small islands or suspended bridges (golden gate bridge for example). That would be awesome!! He could also travel in multiple oceanic bodies of water. Like the arctic, tropics, or even in highly concentrated salt rivers. Big boi can even rescue units and such from sinking vessels and guide boats back to shore. He's just a big friendly leviathan, such a sweetheart!! <3

[sanityshorror]

(OK redo) So did they met laughing Jack well J and K but if it is a yes, do they encountered him as children or as demons? And is he an enemy towards them? (well since K a big softy towards children and LJ basically a child killer after all)

OKAY SO ANSWERING THIS CORRECTLY THIS TIME LMAO. Alright, so please keep in mind with the hypothetical answer, I'm adhering to the actual canonical facts of the characters, rather than adjusting things and so forth to make an AU/HC type scenario. This is still purely hypothetical, but again, it's based on full canon of the characters. People are more than welcome to HC and/or make AUs involving them that are wildly different from my answer below/gen

What Would Happen if Julius and Killian met Laughing Jack?

I can't for the life of me remember when LJ's backstory took place (I really was never interested in the character, I'll be honest), but I believe it was in the general same time era as when Julius and Killian were humans (Victorian era). However, Julius and Killian are Irish and grew up in the Dublin outskirts, not the UK (I Believe LJs box thing is from the UK). Julius and Killian also grew up far too poor to have ever received the box thing LJ hides in when they were kids. So, with LJ, they would realistically not meet him until they were adult demons.

To be quite honest (don't kill me LJ fans!) Julius would hate LJ, finding him incredibly weak and pathetic. He'd likely mock him saying "you're not even a real demon," given Julius is not the standard 'demon,' he and Killian are actually 4th dimensional beings which are what demons are in his universe. Julius would likely turn LJ into a personal punching bag, in the best case scenario.

Killian... Well, so the thing that one must understand about Killian....yes, he's protective of children personally, and has a soft spot for them. That doesn't necessarily mean he's got an automatic problem with child killers, though. Killian tends to be very hypocritical, "if it's not me doing it, then I'm adhering to my morals," and, "I pretend I do not see." Again, he's a mob boss, if he were to show weakness over a thing like children being killed, his power would be overthrown very fast. And Killian loves his power.

Does that mean Killian would get along with LJ? No. He would honestly just smack him away and tell him he doesn't belong in these parts lol. He would not like him, but wouldn't waste time on him.

[altaneenarts]

Tag game from @amoxilwrites

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10 all for DSMP

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

162,320 (oml that's a lot)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just DSMP rn

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) in the doorway with you a zombie!george dnf fic based on mushie's apocalypse AU

2) perpetuam memoriam king!george/assassin!dream au

3) The Divine Right DSMP canon-divergent platonic dnf fic where c!George rescues c!Dream with the help of DreamXD (this action has consequences)

4) the crown, the shadow the prequel to "perpetuam memorial"

5) Communion a sequel to "in the doorway with you"

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love answering comments especially if a reader has a question. I'm happy to talk about my fics or characterizations with others. I've made some good friends this way :)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm well I'd say some of the ones I'm writing now have angstier endings, but of those I have published it's probably "The Divine Right" simply because of how long the fic is. (SPOILERS) It's about losing what you thought you had regained and coming to grips with the truth that the person you knew is no longer what they once were.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The End post DSMP finale fic where DreamXD saves c!George from the nuke

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope. I have yet to get any real hate comments lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

So far, no. I've written short snippets of hypothetical scenarios which @amoxilwrites has enjoyed lol. But if I ever publish any, it'll be very character/plot driven. I want the smut to have meaning and give a look inside who the characters are or progress the story somehow—I just find it more engaging that way.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes, back on an old account for the Hannigram fandom.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship

Oof of all time? As much as I love DNF, nothing will compare to Destiel (sorry gamers lol)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Hmm now that depends on what you consider a wip XD I have many planned/brainstormed but of the ones I've actually started writing I think I can finish them all, it'll just take a long while.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Atmosphere/description (I love setting the tone), metaphors, and dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I can't write pure fluff/happiness for the life of me. I can only write happiness in the contrast of sadness. I also struggle with modern settings as my dialogue tends to lean towards poeticness more than realism. Too many metaphors. Whenever I edit, I always try to cut down my metaphors to one at a time instead of a bunch of wordiness that'll tire out a reader.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done it with Enokian from Supernatural which was very painful given that it's not a complete language and the translators that exist aren't always accurate. So it was a lot of coming up with multiple ways to say a sentence until one was translatable. I also translate Latin pretty often (even now for "perpetuam memoriam") I'll never claim that it's accurate but I do often double check what I want to say through multiple translators before the final draft.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically Harry Potter, but I first posted fics for Supernatural

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I'm really happy with how "perpetuam memoriam" is going so far but of those that are complete I'd say "Communion". I really enjoy capturing a morally grey character whose logic is different from the norm in order to rationalize their life; how they can be vicious and kind.

oh gosh i feel like a dsmpblr noobie what other writers do i know well enough to tag *sweats* I think I'll just leave this open to whoever wants to join :D that way I can get to know yall better and can tag you next time lol

[xerxestexastoast]

wow gamers long time no see

Lots of info I've posted to my age-old headcanon tag is terribly out of date as I've continued to develop it. Amongst the developments are:

The Master's history and relationship to canon has been hammered out a bit more, but I actually REMOVED some details (namely the "internal world override" and associated corruption of the seraphim and multiversal blast), mostly because I just forgot about it and kept soldiering on with new developments.

I think it's the right choice though, since I don't really need to have a coherent motivation for something so insanely eldritch. I also introduced a time loop to its influence, where its ultimate annihilation at the end of one of my major planned fics plants the seeds of its arrival on the mortal plane in the first place. I don't think I NEED it to be that cosmically sweeping for the seraphim to care about it anyway.

Seraphim don't have mortal protectorates as a rule anymore, nor are there legends like that. The Sanctuary Wardens are just terribly fond of the universe their nest is hooked up to. Humanity is their blorbo. The Wardens also live in the angelic equivalent of bumfuck nowhere so how would they even hear about something like that?

The seraph corruption bit was an off-the-cuff idea to reintroduce more popular fandom interpretations of Zero and Dark Matter to my Kirby headcanon in hypothetical scenarios, but once again, I Forgor. I've been cooking up multiverse headcanons that allow for the same kind of hypotheticals. In the wake of the Magologue I had a lot of thoughts about alternate universes and timelines and that has given me a lot of ammo for Fic Ideas to add on to my existing ones, what fun what fun

I have completely flipped the script on Morpho and instead of "Gala's pet butterfly" I've gone whole hog on their cosmic significance. They're the first seraph and the bridge between the ether and the void. Their nest, Hell's Blossom, sits right at the center of the Cloudrealms.

Likewise, this is evidence of literally all of my Galacta headcanons going in the trash. I've finally accepted that he's been GBJ'd from the main timeline, which has been a hard pill to swallow because I had him survive and recover on Ripple Star the instant I saw him in KSSU.

Nothing about my Gala headcanons was contradicted until Knightmare Returns in Robobot, where I couldn't cram the scenario into the timeline coherently in a way that was satisfying. It meant making the entire final part of the main story an illusion while Kirby was in stasis and trapped in a simulation. Meta had to break him out, and I just couldn't accept Star Dream Soul OS's exact copy of NOVA's design as their genuine design because I REALLY wanted the Clockwork Stars to have some diversity. Soul OS's Access Ark looking so much like Galactic Nova was a banger reference for sure, but it fucked with my vision for my Kirbyverse. Now with the power of AUs I can shunt that entire concept off into an altverse!

But also Galacta coming back in Robobot and subsequently Star Allies meant that my whole "he is unsealed as of Knightmare Ultra and plays an active role in major fanfic plans" was bunk. Took me ages to salvage Major Arc Fic #1 (RtDLDX gave me the necessary extra RtDL brainrot to get back into thinking about it). I still haven't salvaged my Galacta thoughts. Don't even get me started on Aeon Hero and the implication that Galacta is one of the Four Heroes of the Heart. Holy fuck I am still reeling. I thought I would get to keep his ancient supersoldier bioweapon backstory but NOOOO I GUESS I CAN'T.

I've considered making Aeon and Galacta separate people, with Aeon being the real Hero of the Heart and the genetic base for Galacta's creation, and that adds a fun detail where his Halcandran elements (eyes, horns, and natural levitation) can come from ANOTHER of the heroes! But this doesn't fucking explain why Galacta can summon the Heart Spears in Clash if he indeed is the same Galacta. If Galacta is sealed out in Another Dimension where time don't work right, then it doesn't make sense for etheric resonance (topic for another post) to copy Galacta into the AUs. Aeon himself is sealed inside his own Heart Spear as part of the seal on the Jamba Heart.

It's POSSIBLE that etheric resonance could conflate Aeon and Galacta into the same guy and put him in the Clashverse but that means we have TWO GALACTAS sealed in AD and I hope you all understand why I don't exactly want to go there. Once shit starts happening out in AD, it's outside the jurisdiction of any one universe. Etheric resonance involves information being passed from one universe to another VIA the ether (the intercosmic medium that we know in canon as Another Dimension). If you're imprisoned IN the ether, that information doesn't get the chance to travel.

While I'm less weirded out by more regular characters having altselves in the altverses, Galacta's character is DEFINED by his imprisonment. It feels markedly less weird when I cook up ideas for Magolor to meet other Magolors than, say, multiple different Galacta crystals just being out there. And THAT'S because the same Galacta being summoned to so many different timelines for the same purpose is itself compelling! It feels foundational to his Vibe, especially when I focus on what's actually canon. This poor fucker gets yoinked around constantly and has no say in it. I want to give him his freedom like I do with virtually every other Kirby character but I feel like he'd suffer from an eternity of madness only curable by death on the battlefield. How the fuck does a mortal mind withstand that? No wonder Morpho took him in Guest Star

[nerice]

Ok so it seems like a lot of characters in your novel die sooner or later. So… which of them survives in the end? If it’s even possible to say; as far as I understood there are several timelines.

[rubs hands together] this is my new favourite ask!!!!!! in the interest of keeping some secrets (esp bc some actual Reader Friends might see this) i will be vaguely dodgy and just compile a list of chars who Survive by the metric that i've never written a death scene for them; so even if an oc is not listed here, i.e. implied Dead, they might still make it thru canon perfectly fine, i just happen to have a dedicated au where they're butchered horrifically. for funsies <3

also only guys listed on the oc site because i genuinely could not tell you who does or doesn't make it thru less figured out story corners [a/s drops onto me like a piano for comedy] LET'S GO !!

chess (courtesy of being part of the moon core, i guess. gets gored pretty bad by gray but is functionally unkillable. faye also heavily considers taking an earnest shot at him in her motd rampage but ultimately chickens out for fear of breaking the universe apart again)

damia :^)

devon (chewtoy for both friend and foe but he makes it thru <3)

eliada (ON THIN ICE. i still think kizuna should eat him once he returns to a/s but as of now i am undecided if he gets any comeuppance for his..... Various Flaws.)

jack (somehow survives attempts on his life by every single soulless, and jumie) speaking of which,

jumie!! destined to outlive her loved ones in any incarnation, with the exception of platinum road where i am,,,,, i am not saying sky actually might....... k*ll h*r, but [i am exited from this thought immediately and always] so she lives by the grace of me being unable to stomach that hypothetical scenario ._.

kizuna (has to showdown avery in llf. after that it's anyone's guess)

LEAH !!!!!! daughter of all time who LIVES. which was not the case in older canon where she succumbed to her illness between seasons but i FOUND A WAY TO SAVE HER. SHE LIVES and that is the only thing that matters 2 me in this entire novel verse ;-;

linn......... fwiw i've written death scenes for her but u know they're little more than fun pastime ventures and never stick. like, getting gray to kill her is her idea of foreplay lmfao (i digress)

noah :^)

don't start thinking any of these bastards are truly safe tho!!!!! (except leah. nothing will ever happen to leah! i'll torch and burn this entire verse before i let her come 2 harm again) <///3

[thekaijudude]

Before I get started, I just want to say that this is a modified version of the “Elemental Commanders vs the Inter Galactic Defense Force” qn. 

First things first, I’ve given you 2 new links. The first of these new links will allow you to calculate an approximate number of the forces from the number of Commanders pertaining to one Element. In other words, the number of Elemental Commanders is no longer just 12500: it is whatever you calculate. So, let’s say there’s a quantity of 500 Elemental Commanders of the Elemental Essence of Infinity: from there, use the percentages on the Google Spreadsheet to calculate the number of Elemental Commanders for every other element. (I know the decimals don’t add exactly to 100%, but just deal with it: they’re close enough, so try to be proportional.)

The second of the new links is a list of abilities pertaining to each Element, i.e. what powers the Elements grant their users. Beyond that, the links are the same as they were previously. However, I also added a new exclusive ability for the Elemental Commanders, so be sure to look over all of the links again.

Anyway, the question remains the same: what would an all-out war between the Elemental Commanders and the Inter Galactic Defense Force of canon look like?

Bruh, you really decided to send me an actual math problem to solve for free huh

The new links are kinda irrelevant since this is purely a hypothetical question of an AU vs an extrapolate of M78's Ultras waaaay beyond the canon age and power of UB-level ultras. For example, I can say that some portion of the 1 billion M78 Ultras can develop the ability to nullify all energy-based or reality-warping abilities that is of a higher conceptual tier than "Infinity", considering that Taro and Ace have demonstrated such abilities at such a relatively young age, this possibility is not out of the question. So if you wanna bring in a large amount of AU abilities, it's reasonable for me to also bring in AU-countering abilities since we're talking about a hypothetical scenario concerning AUs

This illustrates how pointless it is to ask questions about AU content like this, coupled with bringing in hypothetical extrapolations of canon powerscaling, the only solid measurement becomes numbers

(Cause whos to say that my "AU" extrapolation isnt as valid as your AU settings or vice versa?)

This means that yr OCs are basically reduced to numbers, even if all the members involved are wielding the "Infinity" element, which for the sake of being able to make the question answerable in the first place, that's what I'll be running with for the matchup. And of course for fairness, I'll also reduce my "OCs" to simply numbers as well (ya so u see how pointless this premise is?)

This therefore simplifies the question to become "How many Elemental commanders does it take to take on the entire IGDF?"

This then becomes an answerable question, which we can use the same math as in the last ask concerning this here:

Recall the conclusion reached in that last ask was that one 0.9999...x10^14 NG IGDF member was 10 000x stronger than the entire battalion of 12 500 OCs combined, thus, it takes 1.25 x 10^8 members to defeat just 1 max limit IGDF member

Extrapolating the math to cover the maximal boundary condition (cause min is trivial), assuming all 1 billion IGDF members are the max limit IGDF members, this gives a result of needing 1.25 x 10^8 × 1 billion = 1.25 x 10^17 Elemental commanders to defeat the entire IGDF

Thanks for the question!

[shifuto]

aaah guess it would be worth making an actual post for this!

tw noncon kink

been doing all these kinktober prompts and mostly using Astral and Ryoga because I'm really into that pairing/characters now but I got stuck into that one prompt because I was like.. "hey that's not going to work.... why not?" and couldn't, for the love of me, figure out why

rape is about power and control, not sex. It's pure violence, right? Right!

so the reason why I cannot imagine such scenario for Astral/Ryoga is exactly because I do not see a power imbalance between them

now this does not mean they have the ~perfect~ relationship and nothing bad ever happens - absolutely not! Their relationship is very turbulent actually!

thinking about this hypothetical scenario using corrupted Astral (the most likely culprit)...

and yeah noncon Astral is canon go watch episode 98 pretty please

... I still do not see anything "bad" per se happening because... their sexual relationship started somewhat strained - aka Ryoga "forced" himself onto Astral and "used" him to deal with his broken heart and frustration

(I should explain the quotation marks now: everything they have done was consensual. Ryoga is pretty fucking annoying about that actually! Astral was free to walk away or stop if he wanted and Ryoga made sure they were both in the same page before they even started touching each other. That's one part)

(the other part is... they both used each other. Really. That's where it is at. Sex was one of the things that got them both closer together and further away from Yuma - and a few other things too such as: in one of my AUs they both have their first time together [while in the other AU, Ryoga is IV's ex], and that deep intimacy was one of the keys for Astral to be able to "become human", something about "personifying" him)

back into the main point... even if that Evil Astral forced himself on Ryoga (or Nasch for that matter), because they're in the same page about things like sex, it would be mostly like...... oh they'll just have rough sex. Cool. "But what if Ryoga doesn't want it?! D:" he likes Astral, he likes having sex with him - even if he has reservations about Astral's lack of consciousness, he personally doesn't have a problem with it!

I can actually see Ryoga stopping Astral to protect him! Because he knows Astral well enough to believe Astral would torture himself with guilt and shame of "forcing" Shark into that (even if he's willing). So it's mostly a "I don't want Astral to suffer because he can't control himself" and not so much "I don't want him to touch me and he's forcing me"

even on that scenario, I think Ryoga would still let Astral have his way and then let him deal with all the repercussions himself. Talk it out like adults, too - and hey the sex will be fucking fantastic so he can't really complain, can he? (Something tells me he actually enjoys it a lot, because this is as rough and forceful as Astral can get yay)

...

unlike with other pairings, this is the one I fail to see non consensual sex happening in any significant way and it's really amusing to do the rationale behind it like this (don't want to get too deep in how Astral/96 and Vector/96 works similarly too but it's basically: bad guys fucking each other and they're all sluts - they also happen to be the rapists in other pairings so there's that)

in all cases I see with corrupted Astral + someone else, it ends up in rape because of a power imbalance of some sort (eg: Astral with Yuma or with Kotori), and that's exactly what makes it so interesting and very simple, too

I love that his relationship with Ryoga is so complex and nuanced, and that things like this, that are usually pretty straightforward and uncomplicated, become an interesting challenge to explore