#even if i'm not writing i am probably Thinking or Overthinking

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

Csptaineer art request 5. admiring them from afar

dear anon, I know you asked for art but I had intended these as writing prompts! however!! I may doodle something for this later anyway, because it's cute :3

and still, never do we tire of watching stars glow

head engineer mark x reader (the captain) | words: 877

For as long as you'd known him, he'd always had a certain look of awe about him when it came to space:

When you were kids, huddled up in blankets watching a documentary about The Solar System while you shared a bowl of cookies.

And as teens, laying side by side in the dry summer grass, gazing up at the stars dotting the sky, laughing and pointing out constellations and making up stories about what it would be like when you got to be among them. 

And as cadets, the first time you voyaged beyond Earth's atmosphere.

Now the Captain of a ship he'd built from the ground up, it took you by surprise when you looked up from your data tablet one day to see him gazing at you with that same look of wistfulness and wonder.

His expression lasted for the briefest moment before he registered that you'd seen him, eyes widening and cheeks flushing almost imperceptibly from this distance. He immediately averted his gaze to anywhere but yours, busying himself with whatever he could.

You let out an amused huff, an incredulous yet flattered smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

It was far from the first time you'd caught someone giving you a starstruck or near-mesmerised look, especially within your own crew. But for him to be the one staring like that? The same admiration and fascination that you'd seen in his eyes when he beheld an eclipse, or a meteor shower, or your new home planet, directed at you…? 

You couldn't deny the small flutter in your stomach, or your heartbeat slightly quickening its pace.

You brushed off the thought and continued working, but from then on you couldn't help but keep noticing the awe and longing when he looked at you, whether it be from across a room or in conversation. It made you wonder if this was a recent phenomenon, or if you had simply been blind to it for a long time.

It was one of those moments of catching his warm, starlit gaze in which you were caught off-guard once again.

You met his eyes with the same intensity once you realised he was watching you, raising your eyebrows slightly to get his attention. He looked embarrassed and a little taken aback, as he always did in such scenarios, and you could practically see the gears turning in his head as he decided whether or not to abandon ship. Instead, his mouth curved into a smile that crinkled his eyes with fondness, followed by a quick wink. 

Now it was your turn to look surprised. 

It's not that the gesture was out of character or that he couldn't be bold when he wanted to. You just hadn't expected it now.

Later, you found it in you to be direct.

‘What's with all the staring lately, Mark?’

His eyes widened at the question. It wasn't particularly like you to be so upfront about something like this.

You watched as your head engineer’s expression turned apologetic and a little guilty, like he'd been caught red-handed.

‘Uhh- I'm sorry. Am I in trouble, Captain?’

You giggled quietly. ‘Nah. I never said I minded, just wondering…’

He visibly relaxed at your response.

‘Oh, well in that case. To be honest, Cap, it's sorta hard to look away sometimes.’

You felt your face flush at this, but were given no pause to utter a reply even if you’d had the words; he continued quickly, as if just realising what he'd said aloud and in the same moment deciding to fully commit to speaking his mind, before he could let himself back out.

‘I just- I love seeing you doing your job, you look so happy and assured. And proud — of everyone you work with, proud that you're part of the team. You're always so willing to help out and listen to what everyone needs. And watching you take command of a situation- You just– you have this aura that screams that you belong here, this is what you were meant to do, and you have a positive effect on everybody around you. We're so lucky and grateful to have you as our Captain.’

And here you are, stunned into silence for a moment. 

He stands there, trying to gauge your reaction, a little flustered himself but steadfast in his confession.

You feel a little giddy, but take a breath to soothe your racing heart, finally composing yourself again as the smile you can no longer hold back paints your face.

‘Thank you, Mark. That's… that's really sweet.’

He grins. ‘Just being honest.’

‘And I feel exactly the same about you, by the way.’ 

He tilts his head in confusion.

‘Watching you in action, it's the same.’

You can see it in his eyes when it clicks.

‘Wait, Captain, are you saying you-’

‘Almost as much as you,’ you chuckle. ‘Except I don't get caught. You could definitely use some improvement in that area.’

He looks away, smile becoming sheepish, the tint on his cheeks you are sure matches yours from only moments ago. 

‘But… like I said,’ you speak up again, drawing his attention back to you. ‘I don't really mind. It is kinda cute seeing your reaction when I catch you.’

[mxnhoo]

dangerous (l. hs)

✎ lee heeseung x reader genre kissing, blowing vape air into one's mouth, experienced boy x unexperienced girl trope, strawberry flavoued air, first kiss, reader has like 0 experience at all, not poofread cos a girlie just wants to write - get the idea off her head - sleep warnings ALMOST smut, vaping, nicotine (duh), hee wants to corrupt her lowk word count 905 cly's note i think this is different from what i usually write but i saw a tiktok with this idea and i couldn't stop thinking about it even during work. HENCE i am staying up to actually write it so i can get it OUF MY HEAD. i hate the thought of smoking/vaping but isn't this so hot omg. plus i've been so inactive i'm so sorry, so here's a proper fic i've written in a while (though it is short)

now playing heaven and back - chase atlantic

You breathed heavily, your eyelids heavy as you continued to stare at Heeseung, who layed below you. The room was dimly lit, the only light source coming from the lamp on your study table. You can't even explain how you got into this situation with Heeseung, your best friend — how you were sitting on Heeseung's lap, him being shirtless and just vaping in front of you. Though you've always known that he was quite literally the opposite of you, you and him remained as close friends regardless, and today you were seeing him in a different way.

Your chest moved rapidly, a new gush of unfamiliar feelings taking over you as you observed him taking another puff from his vape device. He exhaled and blew the air away from you, hitting the back of his head against the headboard afterwards, staring at you.

A strong strawberry scent took over the room, the sweetness making you want to melt into him. Despite the fact that he was the only one that was shirtless and that you were hovering over him, you still felt vulnerable, feeling unsure as to what to do next and anxious that you might fuck things up somehow.

He smirked seeing the state you were in, clearly enjoying the view of you. He was aware about how you were so naive and pure — you haven't kissed, smoked, vaped, or even fucked — and Heeseung just wanted to be there to open the new world to you. He wanted to check off every single thing off from the list, since he knew best how untouched you were. He wouldn't admit it, but he wanted to corrupt you.

He blew air up to his forehead, lifting the bangs away and he threw his head back, making himself more comfortable and showing his featuers off even more, especially his prominent Adam's apple and collarbone.

You couldn't explain it, but everything about him just felt so.. hot at the moment. You've never felt this way for anyone, but the way he was looking at you with such predator gaze, the way his exposed chest was moving up and down, the way he held his vape with his thumb and middle finger, his collarbone and neck, and even more.

"Say, you haven't fucked around nicotone like at all, right?" Heeseung questioned, his voice raspy after taking a huff of his strawberry-flavoured vape.

You shook your head and bit your lip, almost feeling humiliated that you haven't tried anything at all, and that for your entire life, you've stayed away from these things. You looked down, not wanting to meet his gaze, overthinking that he probably thought you were a loser.

He lifted your chin up with his finger, interlocking eyes with yours once again and he smirked, "Wanna take a step into my world?".

Your heart immediately skipped a beat, feeling thrilled at the thought of doing something you've always strayed away from. You stuttered, "O-okay".

He turned his neck downwards to look at you properly before flicking his middle and ring finger, gesturing for you to lean closer to him. You were already sitting on his lap as he layed down, and the closeness and warmth was driving you wild. You'd never experienced something like this before, only simple hand-holding and cheek kisses.

"I won't bite," he reassured, his voice still sounding dark, but you finally started to lean closer to him. Your hands inevitably rested on his bare chest, his chest muscles and abs feeling hard and the way he hitched his breath when you touched him didn't go unnoticed.

You were finally leaning closer to him, your hair falling forward as he nodded in approval, "Want a taste of my vape? Strawberry flavour, you'll like it". You nodded and he chuckled, bringing the vape to his mouth and taking another huff, making you slightly confused. Was he not going to hand the vape over to you?

You wanted to ask until you confirmed that he wasn't. He grabbed the front of your shirt to pull you even closer, his eyelids halfway open as he started to blow the air into your mouth. You immediately inhaled the air, tasting the sweetness of the air and suddenly feeling hot as your heart rate starts to increase.

You only stared at his lips as he blowed the vape air into your mouth, only wishing it was on yours, and he immediately noticed, immediately closing the gap between both of your mouths and smirking as he could feel you immediately snap back to reality from the sudden kiss.

He immediately pulled back, his thoughts feeling hazy as he is met with your half-fucked up face, chuckling that you were already half-spent when you did practically nothing other than share a huff and kiss for a second. "Did I take your first kiss?" he genuinely questioned, observing as you recovered from the kiss and puff.

"You did," you remained quiet before continuing, "I expect you to take my second, third and more".

"Is that a challenge?" he raised his eyebrows, clearly liking your boldness and the idea of kissing you as many times as he wanted.

"Maybe it is? Maybe it isn't?" you shrugged.

His face immediately darkened, the smirk on his face growing deeper, "I never back down a challenge". He put his hand behind your head to push you closer to him, causing your lips to clash once again.

watch out we pop out~ let's fill up some dopamine~ (if u understand ily)

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Ok, I've thought about it for a while and I've decided on what I want to request. This is a mix of angsty/fluffy maybe suggestive so let me know if this is too much but I'm thinking dormleaders from twst x faker reader. By faker I mean reader is always acting suave and they are really flirty, but a lot of the time they are overthinking about how they must be annoying people. (totally not speaking from personal experience) Reader's love language is physical touch so they always want to be cuddling or at least touching somehow. Reader is teasing and then one day their s/o snaps at them for being clingy and that makes reader give up and spiral on how they must be stupid for thinking that their s/o actually liked them. Then reader doesn't talk to their s/o for a while, (lets say 2-3 days, maybe) eventually reader is cornered by their s/o and admits how they feel. Fluff ensues and reader gets to worship and praise their s/o's body like they wanted. Then reader is reassured in their connection with their s/o.

Is that a lot? I feel like it's a lot, I'm so sorry please ignore me if I am overstepping. Thank you so much for even looking at that massive hunk of text and attempting to decipher it.

Well wishes, love - 🕸 anon (Dec 17, 2023)

Dorm Heads - Male Reader Who's Clingy & Flirty To Hide Their Insecurity

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Hey 🕸Spiderweb Anon, It's almost been a year since you sent this to me; I'm so sorry that I've ignored it until now! You probably don't even remember that you sent this in the first place, but I hope I captured what you wanted all that time ago. Sidenote– I took the avoiding part out because they have too much influence in the NRC for you to avoid them, I'm just being realistic here. This post is written in the second person. The lyrics quoted in this one are from the song “Super Shy” by New Jeans. —Benny🐰

WARNINGS ➔ Canon Personality Leona & Vil; They Aren't Very Empathetic in Canon and I'm Tired of Getting Complaints From Anons About How ‘Mean’ They Are in My Writing So There's The Warning

WORD COUNT: 4,301 words

                                                                                                   

❝𝕴'𝖒 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞, 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞-- 𝕭𝖚𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖎𝖙 𝖆 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖚𝖙𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝕴 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊, 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊-- 떨리는 지금도 𝖞𝖔𝖚'𝖗𝖊 𝖔𝖓 𝖒𝖞 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊-- 𝕴 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖆 𝖙𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚, 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝕴'𝖒 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞, 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞~❞

. . .

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🌹  This little British boy is all about doing things in the right place at the right time, but his reaction also depends on his mood and other outliers. Riddle does enjoy it when you give him physical affection and stick close to him, it makes him feel desired and cared for, however, if you do it too often, he'll feel suffocated. As for flirting… I don't think it matters what time you do it, he won’t take it too well. Riddle feels like flirting is very private and depends on the circumstances; plus, he gets embarrassed in intimate situations due to his love-lacking childhood. However, he does like to feel handsome and desirable to you so he won't complain too much; if you're doing it in front of others or in an inappropriate setting, prepare to have a collar around your neck.

🌹  Remember the collar? You're getting collared, but he's channeling his anger in a non-violent way, right? The only way I believe Riddle would snap at you is if you continuously forgot (or ignored) his warnings and reminders about your behavior and how he feels about it. Keep in mind that he considers three times to be continuous. There will be a lot of yelling, his face will resemble a tomato, and you will certainly cry. While he's not as quick to anger as before he overblotted, he still has a pretty short temper and can hold a grudge for quite a long time, so I hope that collar is comfortable. Riddle will eventually remove it, but while he's avoiding you out of disappointment in himself, it won’t be at the top of the list of things to address. And yes, he will run to his therapi– I mean, Trey, for help to fix all of this.

🌹  Riddle… has never been all that good at apologies or accepting that he's in the wrong in the first place, so it'll take him a while to work up the courage and the maturity to apologize to you. He'd probably go and get you from your dorm and drag you off to his own to sit down for tea and awkwardly beat around the bush for a while. But, if you're silent for long enough, he'll push his pride aside and admit he was wrong with how he went about reacting as well as explaining why exactly he got so upset with you. Riddle will set clear boundaries after apologizing for his behavior and will explain the reasons why your actions were unacceptable to him. While he would prefer that you forgive him, he makes it clear that you don't have to and that he needs to work on expressing his irritation in a less harmful way to benefit both of you.

🌹  After sitting down for tea and discussing your insecurity, Riddle would be both incredibly supportive of you and somewhat disappointed that you don't trust that he loves you enough to think you're worthy of him. It breaks his heart that he subconsciously made you feel like you had to act out the way you did. Riddle makes sure to establish that he loves you as you are, insecurity and all. He sets aside time for you two to spend time together and lets you indulge in giving him as much physical affection as you want.

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“Don't pretend to be someone you're not; I like you jus’ as you are when you're yourself. If you want to touch me that's fine; jus’-! jus' do it in a private place... alright, My Rose?”  

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🦁  Leona does not like being clung to or touched often. He prefers it if he's the one to initiate physical contact and affection, it helps him feel more in control. Most times, he doesn't even touch you and only hangs out nearby (which could be inches away to just in the same general vicinity); he just prefers it that way. So, clinging to him, at all really, is a surefire way to piss him off, since he doesn't like the feeling of being restricted or weighted down; especially when he's just waking up, it makes him feel like he's suffocating. Flirting, on the other hand, is sort of a love language in itself for Leona; although his flirting is more on the low-energy side. Since he wants to make his partner feel desired by him he's bad at thinking of gifts and date locations and is too lazy to do acts of service, words of affirmation are his go-to. He doesn't like to do it too often though, or it doesn't feel as meaningful and genuine as he means it to sound.

🦁  Yikes. If he snapped at you… honestly, didn't you deserve it? You must be blind not to notice his discomfort with your actions which he voiced to you a few times. But, hey, maybe you didn't notice; some people can't read the room or other people well, and I don't blame you for that, because I can't either. As a feline, Leona values personal space and control more than most things, and your clinging to him will piss him off quickly. He can usually keep his mood in check, but all it takes is one bad day and you do that will 100% end in him taking all his pent-up irritation out on you. He'll most likely say some hurtful stuff in his fit of anger and won't see you for a few days. Leona might even ban you from his dorm for those few days if he's pissed enough; he doesn't want to feel like the bad guy, so he won't acknowledge that he is for a bit.

🦁  Honestly? Leona is the type of person who gets over stuff after a few hours to a few days and expects you to do the same. If you don't and you bring it up again, he'll likely hit you with the ‘That was so long ago and you aren't over it yet?’. However, he'll get it into his head that he may have seriously hurt your feelings if he sees any drastic changes in your behavior. Things like avoiding him, not speaking to him, cowering away from him, flinching, ending the conversation when you see him nearby, and leaving the room after he enters. But what gets Leona bad, is if he sees that he made you cry. When I tell you that this man will be on his knees after seeing just the reddening of your eyes I'm not joking. He didn't think he upset you that bad before but now, he's groveling for your forgiveness, because he knows that you're the only person that's willing to put up with his shit on top of loving you more than the air he breathes each day.

🦁  Leona will treat you like royalty after he apologizes, explaining that while he doesn't like being touched he'll indulge you now and then because he knows you just want to show him how much you love him. He'll also do his best to dispel all of your insecurities and remind you that it's not you that doesn't deserve him, but him that doesn't deserve you. Although Leona isn't the best person in Twisted Wonderland, he'll try his best for you.

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“HEY- GET OFF! –Oh shit, no no no, I didn’t mean to make ya cry. M’sorry, I just got startled ‘n’ today has been shit, so I took it out on ya in the end. Nakupenda, Wangu*; ya know that doncha?”  

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🐙  This one's hard… while I want to say that Azul would greatly appreciate your affection toward him and his body; we also have to take into account his issues with his self-image. Going by that– I don't think that he would like it if you touched him very often. The problem wouldn't be that he's uncomfortable, embarrassed, or annoyed, but that he doesn't want you to touch him and then feel disgusted with how his body is shaped. Like you're insecure about whether you're worthy of him, he's insecure about if he's worthy of you. The flirting, though, he wouldn't mind too much. Azul loves your praise, as it means that you find him attractive enough to talk to him that way. This poor man has such serious body issues that it's ridiculous, so if you flirt with him too often, he won't think it's genuine anymore and that you're making fun of him.

🐙  With Azul it's probably just a spur-of-the-moment outburst mixed with his stress and insecurity type of thing. In absolutely no way did he mean to direct this outburst at you, you just happened to be the straw that broke the camel's back, and like a shell on the beach, all his reason was swept away by the tide. He's the kind of guy who bottles all of his stress and grievances and your actions happened to make him reach his breaking point and everything just came out all at once. Azul likely just yelled at you to leave him be and get out of his office; fleeing to his octopot in regretful tears once you left the room and not coming out for days until he could get himself together again. He had to be coaxed into eating by Jade and Floyd due to how bad he felt for blowing up on you.

🐙  This man is distraught; he is beside himself with grief, regret, and shame. It takes all of Azul's willpower and the somewhat aggressive coaxing of the tweels (mostly Floyd threatening to bite off one of his tentacles and send it to you as an apology gift) to get him to finally leave the safety and comfort of his octopot and go to knock on your door. As soon as that door opens, he goes full-on into apologizing profusely and explaining that while what you did irritated him a bit he in no way meant to direct all of his pent-up stress toward you and that your actions just happened to open the floodgates for him. Azul would be in tears by the time he finished speaking, praying that you wouldn't leave him because of this incident. If you forgive him, he cries in relief and if you don't, although he's sad, he understands and promises that he'll do everything in his power to win back your trust in him and make sure that this never happens again.

🐙  Azul will explain to you about his insecurity with his body and his fear of making you dislike him and his appearance. However, once he hears about your insecurities, he's kind of shocked; he was so caught up in his own self-loathing that he didn't even notice yours! Be assured that Jade locked you both in his office and didn't let you both out until you worked out a plan to condole the both of you of your worth to each other. You and Azul had fallen asleep in each other's arms by the time Floyd remembered that you were being held captive in there and opened the door. He took blackmail photos.

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“Øjesten*, I… I apologize for my outburst; I'm just- I don’t like- ahem… ah… I have no excuse. You know how I feel about my appearance, I just didn’t want you to be disgusted with me. I’m sorry.”  

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👑  Vil lives for being appreciated. Whether it's through actions, words, objects, services, or just being admired; he loves it! However… there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. He loves you, but damn, he barely had any time to himself before getting with you, but now? It's not that he won't make time for you, he definitely tries, but he just has so much on his plate all the time. With managing his beauty routine, the dorm and its students, school work, modeling, singing, acting, keeping up his media appearances, and his one-sided rivalry with Neige, this man is BUSY. And that's not even mentioning the overblots that keep popping up out of nowhere; sorry hun, you're just going to have to squeeze in when you can or be okay with stopping yourself at just being near him as a way of spending time until he can fix his schedule. On the subject of flirting, though… yeah, don't even bother, but at the same time, yes, compliment him. Vil, being himself, has heard pretty much every compliment, praise, and risqué remark under the sun; you need to be very creative, or he'll probably just roll his eyes at you. If you do it too often, he'll get annoyed and probably ask if you have something better to do.

👑  Okay— I’m just going to cut this off right here- Vil is the type of person to set his boundaries with you immediately, so, at the very start of the relationship, you would know what to do and what not to do. However, if you end up doing it anyway (which would likely just be you forgetting about it or you're so stressed that it left your mind momentarily), there lies the problem.  If you did it after Vil already initially told you he didn’t like it the first time, he would just stop you, explain why he doesn’t want you to do it, and ask you to remember it for next time. Another thing- this man is a confident king (after his overblot), so he can smell your insecurity from a mile away. It will be addressed by him PERIOD. There is no way out of it- it WILL happen, I'm sorry. Either your insecurity will be gone quickly or your relationship will; it's one or the other, I implore you to just cooperate with him. Vil isn’t playing these games with you right now.

👑  I mentioned it earlier, but Vil will sit you down and address your insecurity with him; he's not the type of person to just let this issue go unsolved. Given his insecurity, however, he'll be very understanding of how you feel. The feeling of being less than others is something that Vil is familiar with, so he’ll do everything in his power to make you feel better about yourself.

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“I’ll make this clear, Mein schönste Liebe*, there’s no need for this little show you’re putting on. I don’t have a lot of patience, so quickly, tell me what the problem is so that I can fix it.”  

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🪲  You're giving him more affection than usual? Sign Kalim the hell up! He loves it when you hold onto him and give him physical affection! Do you want to sit on his lap? Sure! Do you want to hang off his arm or wrap your own around his waist? Okay! Kisses and hugs? Absolutely! As for flirting, I don't think that he is too innocent to understand what you mean, but that he doesn't get it until five minutes to an hour later. A lot of times, Kalim will suddenly realize what you meant when the conversation subject has already shifted to a completely different topic. However, he has no issues with it, since he believes that flirting is just an extension of complimenting him; it's just worded in a more risqué way.

🪲  I’m going to be completely honest with you here, this boy is too kind and non-confrontational to snap at you at all, so it just wouldn't happen. If he did have an issue with your behavior he’d most likely just sit you down and explain what exactly he needed you to change and why. Kalim will leave no room for misunderstandings at all, so there would be no way to hurt feelings on either side. The only person who would possibly be upset in the situation is probably you, but that would only be because you have to find another way to cope with your unspoken insecurity. Kalim isn't the brash type, so I can’t see him losing his temper with you at any point unless you committed a heinous action or something.

🪲  Kalim would probably still apologize even if all he did was explain some things to you, he’s a person who’s very in tune with other people’s feelings, so he’d make sure that your relationship was still good after everything. He’d bring you to his room and cuddle you on his huge plush bed, covered in the smoothest blankets and softest pillows, letting you touch, feel, and compliment him all you want- but only if you let him do the same to you. Probably also ask Jamil (poor Jamil, give him a vacation) to make you both some snacks or something, Kalim won't let his baby be hungry.

🪲  You will not be forced to talk about your insecurity, but Kalim will heavily encourage it for the sake of your mental health and the stability of trust in your relationship. He wants to wait until you're comfortable enough, but he also doesn't want to wait for too long in case there's a repeat of this incident. There's also now a big concern in his heart that he made you feel like you couldn't be yourself or made you feel like you aren't enough at some point. It will eat Kalim up inside, so he'll become overly indulgent with you for some time until you sit him down and talk about it. He just doesn't want you to feel like he's being neglectful of your emotions and well-being again.

🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌•♡•🕌

“Aiyah, Rohi*, I wasn’t trying to be mean, I promise. I love you so so so much; but sometimes, even a guy like me needs a little alone time, that’s all. I would never dislike you for such a small thing.”  

 🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱

💀  Eh… Idia is a very very insecure guy, but he's also incredibly antisocial and is used to being all by his lonesome besides his little brother. He likes his personal space a whole lot more than he realizes, so, to be truthful, the clinginess isn't something that will sit well with him after he has experienced it one too many times. It's mostly because it'll happen at times when he's preoccupied with something that requires a lot of his attention; like gaming, watching anime, or reading manga/lite novels, and he gets irritable when he's interrupted. On the side of excessive flirting, however, he'll dislike it not just because he thinks you aren't being genuine; but also because the topic makes him uncomfortable. As mentioned already, Idia is not a social person, thus being on the receiving end of something like that is way out of his comfort zone. Doing it excessively will only make him even more uncomfortable, as he thinks that you don't care about his feelings on the matter when it's obvious he dislikes it.

💀  Idia is a quiet, shy, and non-confrontational guy, however, his annoyance can quickly overpower all of that if it builds long enough. Once he's reached the end of his patience, he doesn't bother to be careful and think about what he says. It's most likely that instead of targeting your appearance or status, he'll go for the things that you're most sensitive about. Keep in mind that during all of this, he's absent-minded; his mind doesn't register exactly who he's talking to and what he's saying before he opens his mouth while his eyes continue to stare at whatever he is doing on his monitor setup beforehand. However, once Idia realizes just what he said to you he's in absolute shock at himself; yes, he'd expect himself to behave that way to other people, but to you? He would never do it intentionally… Honestly, though, he'd be more upset that you aren't comfortable enough to act like yourself around him than anything else.

💀  Similar to Azul, Idia regrets his words immediately; he beats himself up about it as well. How the hell did those sparky comments he had in his head slip through his lips? He thought he had more self-control than that! Seriously though, the first thing he does after he realizes that he said all of that outlook is call you. When and if you don't pick up, he sends you a few texts apologizing straightforwardly and explaining that he was upset about a lot of things and took it out as well as the fact that he's on his way to your dorm to speak with you in person. Once Idia's at your door and when and if you open up, he'll hug you and profusely apologize, likely putting himself down as well so that he can hurt himself as he did you. It's up to you if you want to stop him, but just know that the self-depreciation with continue to ratchet up in severity as time goes on; his insecurity and self-doubt will be on full display to you to let you know that you can show him too.

💀  You know how Idia does online classes or stays in his dorm and uses his tablet instead? You can do that too! The both of you can attend class remotely and cuddle while you do your class work or listen to lectures. He can lay his head in your lap while he's watching anime or reading his novels and he can sit you in his lap while he's gaming. Surprisingly though, Idia even suggests going out and visiting cat cafes together or going to a secluded place outside and listening to an audiobook. He's willing to change up his routine and step out of his comfort zone to make sure you know how much he loves you. He would do anything for you– well… almost anything, just give him a bit more time to work up the willpower.

🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱•♡•🔱

“I… You know that I know what It's like to feel… like you're not enough. You don't– Y‐you know you don't have to pretend with me right? You can just be yourself when it's the two of us, P-psychí Mou*.”  

 🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉

🐲  It depends on the place, the amount of people nearby who those people are, and his mood. As you know Malleus craves to be included, acknowledged, seen, and just to be given affection. This man is touch-starved to the max– but… he is still the prince of Briar Valley and must display a certain appearance to those who aren't close to or familiar with him. He'll allow small displays of affection out of the cover of his or your dorm room; things like holding hands, holding onto his forearm as you walk, briskly kissing each other's hands or cheeks, laying your heads on the other's shoulder, and other small but loving gestures. As long as you keep the more intimate actions away from prying eyes it's fine. As for flirting, Malleus also doesn't mind, but the same rules still apply. So long as you don't repeatedly show too much to those he doesn't wish to show your relationship to, he's happy as a dragon swimming in gold.

🐲  Malleus isn't the type of guy to snap at others, he confronts conflicts head-on if they pose an issue. However, if you do irritate him enough, he'll likely tell you that the both of you will have to take some time apart while he thinks about your relationship and what it means to the both of you. For him, crossing the boundaries that he has set is a violation of trust, respect, and understanding, and he needs to evaluate whether or not you're taking his thoughts, opinions, and feelings seriously. During your break, Malleus will avoid you, he'll greet you in the halls with a nod and carry on, there will be hardly a drop of affection from him until he's thought. He loves you, but for him, relationships are a very serious thing, and if you aren't respecting his boundaries, does he want to stay in a relationship with you?

🐲  He's not apologizing as there was no real wrongdoing on his part. However, if you felt hurt by his actions, he would calmly sit you down and carefully explain why he did them and follow that up by telling you that he felt hurt by your actions and he expects an explanation from you as well. Malleus is a patient and forgiving man, his life will stretch on for centuries and you and the relationship that the both of you have is a small but unforgettable part of that life. He doesn't want memories of a relationship with poor trust and communication between the participating parties; it just isn't worth it for him. Once you and Malleus have everything laid out on the table, he'll ask you to make sure to remember what he told you and that if you ever feel insecure in the future, simply talk with him and he'll talk you through it.

🐲  After you're very civil and diplomatic discussion of the ins and outs of your relationship, Malleus writes up a plan for the both of you. He lists the things that you both aren't comfortable with as well as things that you require and reworks his and your daily schedule around it. He does address your insecurity though, apologizing for making you feel like you aren't enough for him and making you feel like your relationship isn't important. Malleus loves you very deeply, and he wants to make sure that the two of you stay together in a happy relationship for as long as possible. He wants you to be a part of his family for as long as you love him, so he'll compromise as much as he needs to.

🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉•♡•🐉

“I have made you feel as though you cannot be your true self at some point in our union and that won't do at all. You are Mon Raison D'être, without you, I do not have the will to carry on, I beg for your forgiveness.”  

 . . .

❝𝕴'𝖒 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞, 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞-- 𝕭𝖚𝖙 𝖜𝖆𝖎𝖙 𝖆 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖚𝖙𝖊 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖊 𝕴 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊, 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖊-- 떨리는 지금도 𝖞𝖔𝖚'𝖗𝖊 𝖔𝖓 𝖒𝖞 𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊-- 𝕴 𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖆 𝖙𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖞𝖔𝖚, 𝖇𝖚𝖙 𝕴'𝖒 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞, 𝖘𝖚𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖞~❞

 *¹ ‘Nakupenda, Wangu’ translates from Swahili to mean ‘I love you, Mine’ with ‘Mine’ being a possessive term of endearment usually accompanying a sentence like ‘I love you’, though it can be used by itself.

*² ‘Øjesten’ roughly translates from old-fashioned Danish to mean ‘The apple of my eye’.

*³ ‘Mein schönste Liebe’ translates from German to mean ‘My Most Beautiful Love’, though if you took off the last word, ‘My Most Beautiful’ can still stand on its own as a term of endearment.

*⁴ ‘Rohi’ translates from Arabic to mean ‘My Soul Mate’; calling someone ‘Rohi’ means that you love them longer than your life as they are your soulmate.

*⁵ ‘Psychí mou’ translates from Greek to mean ‘My Soul’’

*⁶ ‘Ma Raison D’être’ translates from French to mean ‘My Reason for Being’ which is usually used only to express the deepest love and passion.

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Reblogs are appreciated ~ 𔓘

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[purplecoffee13]

NFWMB - PART FIVE*

Summary: “Y/N hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what happened, but it seems like she is not the only one overthinking this time…”

Tropes: innocent!reader x boxer!harry

Wc: 3k

Warnings: smutty scenes, oral (fem receiving), dirty talk, teeny tiny bit of angst ig

A/N: I AM BACK! I finished my exams today and I hurried home to write the rest of this chapter bc I have been itching to do so for the past weeks. I will try not to put as much time in between the next chapters, sorry about that! Love you all and enjoy!!!

General Masterlist

Series Masterlist

It had been three days. Three entire days since the kissing-in-the-car debacle that Y/N had participated in, and she still wasn't over it. How was she supposed to act normal at their class tomorrow? It had plagued her mind ever since she walked into her apartment that Saturday night.

All weekend, she had been contemplating different things. Saturday and Sunday, she was sure she wanted to never see his face again because she couldn't stand the embarrassment. But when Monday rolled around and re-thought everything after coming back from work, she realized that she should probably be mature and talk to him.

However, that resulted into her pacing around her room like a maniac with the phone in her hand, his number ready to dial. For the past twenty minutes she had been trying to convince herself to just press that call button and get it over with.

"C'mon..." Y/N growled to herself. She stopped in her tracks, took a deep breath, and finally called him. Her hands were sweating as the dial tone sounded over and over again, and the nerves she felt were sure to explode her stomach, but she kept breathing and waited for Harry to pick up.

The distant sound of a phone ringing took Y/N’s attention away from her own attempted call. Her heart began beating even faster as she walked towards her front door, and sure enough, when looking through her peephole, she saw Harry standing in front of her door.

As she took the lock off, Y/N broke up the call and putting her phone in her pocket. Harry's eyes were wide at the door opening all of a sudden, but he still managed to muster an awkward smile amidst his shock before he greeted her.

"Hi." He said quietly.

"Hi." She greeted back, unsure of what to do or say or feel. "uhm, what are you doing here?"

The question came out so soft, as if she was scared to ask it, not ready for the consequences his answer may bear. Maybe it was true; she had always had the feeling that her body was better at communicating her true feelings than her brain was.

"I need to talk to you." Harry said, his tone serious enough for Y/N's chest to start pressing on her, but a soft edge to it nonetheless. "Can I come in?"

She nodded, opening the door wider and letting Harry inside her apartment. He walked in and silently observed the place. Y/N felt oddly tense as she waited for him to take it all in, but he was quite quick to turn around. In the seconds that he stood there, entirely quiet, Y/N deduced the obvious: he was awaiting some instructions from her.

"Go sit on the couch, do you want something to drink?" She asked, already heading for the kitchen. Harry sat down like she told him to, but shook his head.

"No thank you, just wanna talk. Can you... sit down?" His difficulty to meet her eye and the apprehension behind his words had Y/N immediately head for the couch and sit down next to him.

"What did you want to talk about?" She asked innocently, like she wasn’t the reason this awkwardness existed in the first place.

"About last Saturday." He answered. You began to shake your head, cheeks already reddening from the shame that washed over you.

"Harry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Just— hold on," He interrupted her. "I said something, that night, I can't help but think that you didn't take it how I meant it. And it has been eating at me all weekend because I'd hate to be the fool who accidentally rejected you."

Harry's eyes bored into Y/N's until she couldn't take the intensity of it anymore and looked down. He leaned forward, putting his hand on her leg. She studied his fingers as they slowly caressed her skin.

"Harry, it's okay. I misinterpreted it, you don't have to make excuses to make me feel better." She shrugged her shoulders, hoping to prematurely dodge any bullets that might have ended up with her crying otherwise.

"I'm not!" He protested. "I— Y/N, look at me."

When she didn't instantly comply, Harry's fingers traced up to her chin and redirected her face towards him, forcing her to meet his gaze. His thumb slowly stroked her chin as he took in every inch of her face.

"I wanted it." He said slowly, making sure she heard every word he says. Slowly leaning in, he added: "Really bad."

His lips hovered near hers, so close it was nearly sending her into a frenzy, but far away enough for him to assess her reaction on his movements. But Y/N was an open book, a reactive person when it came to these desires. She couldn't feign disinterest as she had never felt this strongly about someone in such a perverted manner before. Harry mouth slowly curled up into a smirk.

"Can I show you how badly I wanted it?" He asked, the heat of his breath reaching her face and making her core pulsate. The only thing Y/N could do was nod, and before she knew it, Harry's lips closed in on hers.

A soft whine escaped her throat as he kissed her, the desperation of her body unshielded under his roughly delicate touch. Nothing seemed to make sense as he slowly slipped his tongue into her mouth and pushed her back on the couch, nothing but him.

Harry leaned forward, not taking his mouth off Y/N as she sat against the armrest. He hovered over her, his body between her spread legs. One of his hands was holding onto her waist, while the other one kept him up by holding onto the armrest.

As their tongues danced around each other, Harry's hand slipped down from her waist towards her inner thighs, and Y/N felt her panties getting wet at the suggestive caresses of her skin. She put her hands on Harry's shoulders and pushed him back a little bit, their lips now apart. Still caught up in the heat of the moment, Harry mindlessly trailed his kisses down her jaw and then onto her neck.

"Harry." Y/N tried to get his attention, but his name sounded more like an erotic plea, and caused a growl to sound from his lips, followed by a rougher treatment on her neck. Her eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head as his lips sucked at that sensitive skin of her, and a small whine fell from her as he bruised her neck.

"Ha— hmm... Harry!" She exclaimed. "S— stop."

Within a millisecond, or at least it felt like that, Harry's hands and mouth were removed from her. His face was filled with worry as he took in hers.

"Are you okay? Did I go too far?" He began asking, but she was quick to shake her head.

"No! It's just— I haven't really, done much of this before. I don't have a lot of experience and uhm, I just wanted you to know that before we... proceeded." Y/N explained, voice near trembling as she spoke. Harry's eyes softened, and his face pulled into a soft smile.

"Thank you for telling me." He said, leaning forward and giving her a kiss before pulling back, sitting up straight. "I just have one question, though."

Y/N nodded, big doe eyes staring right at him as that innocent smile transformed into a smug grin.

"Can I show you what I actually wanted to do last Saturday?" He asked, stroking her already spread legs. Before she knew it, the answer fell from Y/N's lips.

"Yes."

He let out a satisfied hum before his hands grabbed at her shorts and pulled them down along with her underwear, leaving her bare cunt to be exposed to him. Y/N blushed, feeling slightly embarrassed at how exposed she was, but the fascination that twinkled in Harry's eyes washed most of her insecurities away. She watched carefully as he leaned down and his fingers began stroking her folds.

Y/N held her breath in anticipation, curiously waiting for Harry to continue, and when he finally put his hands on her clit, she couldn't help but shift in her seat a bit at the tingling sensation.

"O— oh!" She shrieked when she felt Harry's tongue attached itself to her clit, his middle finger now paying more attention to slowly beginning to slide in and out of her. Y/N tried to control her breathing to the best of her abilities as Harry explored her sopping and pulsating core.

Y/N's mind had gone all fuzzy from the sweet feeling of his touch on her sensitive parts. It was impossible to focus on anything else than Harry, and even if it was, she wouldn't dare take her eyes off of him anyway. It was addictive, the way he was ravishing her like she was a culinary meal, and it felt glorying.

Harry temporarily removed his mouth from her heat, and looked up at Y/N before saying: "C'mon, angel. Tell me how it feels."

Her heart skipped a beat at the nickname she'd grown to love ever since the first time he said it, and she tried to control her whines as she responded.

"So— ah! So good..." She managed to reply, her knuckles turning white from balling up her fists in an attempt to not come too early. Harry's tongue swept over her clit in such an intoxicating way, and his now two fingers pumping in and out of her was only getting her closer to her inevitable climax.

Harry moaned at her verbal approval, and picked up the pace of both his mouth and his fingers, leaving her nothing but a whimpering mess under him. This was surely going to be the death of her, wasn’t it?

"Harry— I think I'm going to..." She ran out of breath before she could finish your sentence, and she began convulsing around him, legs trembling as her orgasm began to reach her like a wave building up. And then just like that, it crashed.

With a cry of his name and a few profanities that followed, the sensual waves of her release hit Y/N. The release was slow and long, and one of the most satisfying ones she'd ever had. Harry's touch stayed on her skin, helping her ride out her high.

When he finally backed away, Y/N was still breathing heavily from what she had just experienced. Wide eyed, she observed how he licked his lips before he looked up at her. She could've come again from the sight of that alone.

"D'you want some water?" Harry suddenly asked, getting up from the couch and walking over to your kitchen. She followed him with her eyes, mouth agape as he went through her kitchen cabinets until he stumbled upon two glasses and filled them with water. As he returned to the couch, he raised a brow, indicating that he was still waiting on an answer.

"Uhm, yes, thank you." Y/N stumbled as he handed her the glass. She took a few sips, scanning him while she drank. He was so casual all of a sudden, leaning back against the couch with his legs spread like that... there was something cocky about it and Y/N wasn't sure if she wanted to roll her eyes at it or jump his bones.

Possibly both, at the same time.

Y/N put her glass down and slowly crawled over to Harry, who sniffed a laugh at her wobbly movements on the way too squishy couch. She hoped it would at least come off as cute, now that her attempt at being sexy had been trampled by her own furniture.

As the laughter from both parties died down, Y/N took it upon herself to slowly start kissing Harry's neck. Her heartbeat rose when she felt him shifting in his seat, a pained sigh escaping his throat. Meticulously, she dragged her hand down his chest until it reached his pants, and she began unbuckling his belt.

She was surprised when she felt his hand pull hers away, and stopped her actions to see what was going on. When she saw his clenched jaw, she frowned.

"Are you okay?"

"You don't have to do that angel." He said, tilting his head a bit. She slowly shook her head.

"Oh, alright." She said, and felt a pang in her chest at the idea that she could've done something wrong. Harry took both of her hands, cupping his over them.

"I’d like to save it for next time." He suggested, the slight raise of his brow adding a certain playfulness to his reply. The hint of a smile on his face filled her with a warm feeling, and she quickly found herself nodding at what Harry had said.

“Plus, I have to get my beauty rest… I’ve got a long day tomorrow. I teach this private self-defense class, client’s got me working till late.” He joked, eyes beaming when a giggle fell from her lips. Y/N took her bottom lip between her teeth, stomach fluttering as she took in the painfully beautiful, funny, charismatic man in front—or well, under her.

“Really? Is she any good?” She teased back, brows raising in surprise when Harry nodded.

“Difficult to teach tho.” He responded.

“Why’s that?” Y/N questioned, genuine curiosity dripping from her tone. Harry took his eyes off her and shamelessly lowered his gaze to her body as his hands, that had dug into her waist, slowly began to trail down to her ass.

“‘S just so hard to concentrate…” He said lowly, and she felt her core heating up again at the sole sound of Harry’s voice. Her cheeks flushed alike at what he was implying, and she felt like an animal with the way her body reacted to him.

Y/N remained as quiet as she could, savoring Harry’s touch on her bare skin. She would have closed her eyes, had she not been too mesmerized by her face to do so.

Nerves swirled in her stomach as she watched Harry’s stare trail upwards again, only to stop at her lips. Gradually, he leaned forward, closing the gap between the two’s mouths. Y/N couldn’t help the sigh that escaped her when Harry put his lips on her again, and much like the touch of his hands on her, she relished in the way his tongue circled around hers, and she was surprised at how well their bodies captured the connection that she had been unable to explain in words.

It was safe to say that Y/N was disappointed when at last Harry pulled away, but she couldn’t be mad at him, not with that face of his.

Her eyes widened when he got up all of a sudden, hands still holding up her thighs in the few moments before she wrapped them tightly around him in response to the sudden movement. He sniffed a laugh, which Y/N was only able to hear because her arms were locked around Harry’s neck and her face was only a few centimeters away from his. The urge to smile almost prevailed over her shock.

Harry’s hands let go of Y/N’s thighs, and she lowered her legs in response, putting her feet on the ground again and removing herself from his touch completely.

As they walked towards the front door, Y/N found herself to be a bit gloomy. She didn’t want him to leave, he was so fun to be around. He made her not worry, which was a miracle because Y/N always worried. And she knew she’d go back to worrying and overthinking the second she’d be alone again, so the prospect of Harry going away was not the most fun. She had to remind herself that she’d see him tomorrow, though.

Y/N opened the door, waiting as Harry put on his coat. When he finally had, he turned to her one last time.

“Sleep tight, angel.” He said, and with that, walked right out the door. Y/N croaked out a weak ‘bye’, but she was pretty sure she’d heard the elevator ding by then.

It took her a minute to recover physically before turning off her lights in the living room and floating towards her bathroom, where she smiled like an idiot all the way through brushing her teeth.

It wasn’t until her head hit the pillow that what she dreaded came along again: that tiresome worry. Thoughts and scenarios filled her head as she lied in bed, watching the ceiling as if it would grant her answers, or peace.

It was as if, with Harry, nothing else truly mattered. Not necessarily in the corny, dramatic way, but rather in the sense that it felt like the outside world wasn’t that much of a factor in Y/N’s decisions, nor did she have the feeling that it should be whenever she was around him. But when he was gone, it would all start to matter again and suddenly she found herself doubting whether dating Harry would even be a good idea.

What would her parents think? What would Sophie think? Would she be viewed as less professional by her co-workers for dating her trainer? Would it impact Harry’s reputation—

She stopped herself. Probably not, considering Harry was a man.

It was with a frown that Y/N eventually dozed off into a deep slumber. Not even in her dreams she was safe from the anxiety that plagued her, a nightmare about being fired stirring her awake at around four in the morning. She was more exhausted when she woke up than when she went to bed.

But despite all of it, her body still buzzed in anticipation of tonight’s class…

Taglist: @meetmeatyourworst @mema10 @seafoamwhispers @namoreno @inkedskin @fangirl509east @mellamolayla @lizsogolden @prettydelilah @kierramcduffie @harry2121 @babegoals @hermionelove @bitchidontpost @lomlolivia

[jaeyunluvbot]

i love you, i'm sorry

this is part one to my series emails i can’t send

note .ᐟ ermmmm so this one is actually based on my kind-of-situationship with my ex bsf and it actually hurt so bad to write so i hope yall enjoy :p

Subject: (no subject) To: (unsent)

Dear Heeseung,

This is so stupid. I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Maybe because I know I can’t say it out loud, not to you. I like this. Whatever this is. It’s fun, it’s easy, and I don’t have to overthink it when I’m with you. But sometimes, I catch myself wishing it were more. And then I remind myself that it’s not. I know we made rules and we both agreed, but I can’t help wanting more. I can’t be the only one feeling this. When you look at me like that, when you stay just a little longer than you should, when you text me first for no reason at all, I wonder if you ever think about it too.

Anyways, I’ll probably never send this, but it feels good to get my feelings out.

Yours,

Y/N

(Draft saved at 2:13 AM)

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Subject: It’s fine

To: (unsent)

Heeseung,

You didn’t even hesitate. I know we’re not actually together but how could you be so sure in your words? That girl, that gorgeous girl who’s probably a way better fit for you than me, asked if you were seeing anyone and you said no so quickly. Right in front of me too, you didn’t even hesitate. You even laughed, I know it wasn’t personal, but is the idea of us being together so laughable to you? I guess it’s true that you’re not seeing anyone, that you’re not mine. Maybe you never were, but for some reason, I convinced myself we had something real. Maybe you were just afraid to acknowledge it, or maybe you just weren’t ready for something like that. I know now that I was wrong, so why does it feel like I lost something? Anyways, I don’t know what else to say, my feelings are immeasurable and somehow simple at the same time. I know I’m foolish but I’ll always be yours, even if you don’t want me.

Yours,

Y/N

(Draft saved at 11:48 PM)

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Subject: I don’t know what I was expecting To: (unsent)

Today I asked you if this meant anything to you. You looked at me like I had just said something awful, and I knew at that moment, I had ruined everything. You said it wasn’t supposed to be serious and that we both agreed there would be no feelings involved, but I still fell for you. I suppose it couldn’t be helped. For a moment there, a perfect moment, I thought maybe you’d smile, and tell me you loved me too, that it was ok that I’d fallen for you because you’d fallen for me too. That was stupid of me, I know that now, but at that moment I really thought that all our late night conversations meant something to you. I wish I could hate you, or put you out of my mind, I wish I regretted it. But the worst part is, I don’t. I love you, and I think I’ll always love you, even if you never speak to me again. This is getting really depressing so I’ll leave it here, I just wish I could say this to your face.

Yours,

Y/N

(Draft saved at 3:27 AM)

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Subject: (no subject) To: (unsent)

It’s been weeks since we’ve talked. I don’t even know why I still write these. Maybe because if I don’t, I’ll say it out loud. And if I say it out loud, it’ll be real. It’ll ruin everything more than I already have. I miss you. I don’t miss the way we ended, or the way you left. But the way you laughed at your own jokes before even finishing them. The way you always sent me songs in the middle of the night. The way you lingered, even when you didn’t have to. I know you don’t miss me, I saw you with that girl yesterday. I know you’ve moved on. But a small part of me hopes you’ll hear a song that reminds you of me and remember that I exist, and that I love you. I would’ve given you all of me, and I like to think, with some time, you could’ve done the same for me. I won’t send this because I know you won’t reply. But I hope, somewhere deep down, you miss me too.

Yours,

Y/N

(Draft saved at 1:04 AM)

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Subject: I should stop writing these To: (unsent)

It’s been six months. Not that I’m counting or anything. I moved into a new apartment last week. It’s small, but it has these huge windows that let in so much sunlight. You would’ve liked it. Or maybe you wouldn’t have. I don’t really know anymore. I feel like maybe I never knew you. I got a job too. It’s nothing special, but it keeps me busy. That helps. I don’t think about you every day now. Only sometimes. Like when I pass by that convenience store we always went to at 2 AM. Or when someone laughs the way you used to. Or when I hear that one stupid song you kept putting on repeat. It’s funny, we weren’t even together and yet I still feel like maybe I once had a part of you like you had a part of me. I should move on, I think I’m moving on, but sometimes it still hurts. It hurts like it did when you were still here, when we’d spend all night talking and you’d leave in the morning. It’s weird though, the pain is comforting in a way, like a reminder that it was real, that you actually existed in my life. But it’s better now. I’m better now.

Love,

Y/N

(Draft saved at 10:22 PM)

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Subject: No, but seriously, I should stop To: (unsent)

I ran into Sunghoon today. He asked me how I was doing, and I lied. I told him I was great, just busy and tired from work. He gave me this look, like he knew. We didn’t talk about you. But I could feel it there, hanging between us. You must’ve told them what happened. Or maybe you didn’t say anything at all, and that’s why it feels so much worse. I hate that I’m a stranger to you, someone you kept secret, when all I wanted to do was be with you, to show you that we could work, even if you were scared. I wish I never met you. I wish I didn’t give you the power to hurt me like this. It’s even worse because I know you aren’t doing it on purpose, I know you’re a good person, and that we just weren’t meant to be, but still, I wish I’d never let you in. I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe I should stop writing these.

(Draft saved at 12:37 AM)

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Subject: I think I’m finally okay. 

To: Heeseung.

I don’t know why I’m still writing these. I think it’s just a habit now. It’s weird, when I think about us, it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. It’s like looking at an old photograph, you remember the moment, but it doesn’t feel like you’re living in it anymore. Like some kind of fucked up coping mechanism. The fact that you’ll never see these also helps, I can be honest and say everything I’m feeling, everything I could never tell you, or anyone, for that matter. Anyways, I finally started dating again, and I don’t compare everyone to you. I think that means I’m okay. Or at least, I’m getting there. This will probably be my last time writing one of these, since my therapist told me they weren’t doing me any good, and that I should try to completely stop thinking about you. So I guess this is goodbye, even though you won’t see this, I hope you’re doing well.

Love,

Y/N

(Sent at 1:58 AM)

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Subject: I don’t know what to say From: Heeseung

Y/N,

I don’t know if you meant to send that. But thank you. I think I’ve read it a hundred times already. I keep wondering if you wrote it in a moment of weakness or if you’ve been holding onto those words for a while. Either way, I don’t think I deserve them. I don’t think I deserve to know how you’re doing. But I’ve wanted to ask for so long. I wish I could say I’ve been okay too. That I’ve moved on the way you have. But the truth is, I still find you in the smallest things. The songs I skip on my playlist because they don’t sound the same without you humming along. The space in my bed that’s too big now, even though you were never supposed to stay the night. The way I feel when I catch a glimpse of a girl who looks like you in public. I’ve told myself a thousand times that we weren’t meant to last. That what we had was temporary, built on borrowed time, that we were never serious, never real. But it never felt temporary to me. Not really. I guess I was scared, scared to let you in, and scared to get hurt. I thought that if I never let you get too close, it wouldn’t hurt as much when we inevitably fell apart. I was wrong. I should’ve let you in, I should’ve shared myself with you like you did with me. I regret it everyday. I should’ve reached out and said something, or I should’ve just been honest from the start. But it’s too late now, you’ve moved on, and I guess I have to as well. I don’t know what I’m trying to say. Maybe I just miss you. Maybe I always have. Take care of yourself, okay? I hope you find happiness in someone who’s not afraid to love you openly.

Yours,

Heeseung

(Sent at 8:21 AM)

[dewdr0pz]

good old-fashioned lover boy ₊˚.જ⁀➴⋆☀︎｡

summary: dating James Potter headcanons

a/n: hi!! I'm SOOOO sorry I haven't written anything in so long 😭 I've been really busy with everything in my life (including writing my own novel) and sort of forgot about the fact that I had fics to write lmao. also, I know the most common face claim for James Potter is young Aaron Taylor Johnson, but personally I've never agreed with this faceclaim and thought this guy on Pinterest worked better :)

tags: @back-totheoldhouse @daemontargaryennn @o-kye @unbeleevable @mochamuff1n @vibestillax-updates @v1bestillax (this is me just guessing who would be interested in this, please let me know if you would like to be removed/added from the taglist!!)

cw: some of these are really goofy lmao, f!reader

boyfriend!james who is so dramatic and theatrical. like he will say "I'm off to war, my sweet and fair lover, bid me farewell" and you're just like "James. you're out to get groceries."

boyfriend!james who will try and steal your hoodies even if they're way too small. you could be a foot shorter than him and he's still trying to squeeze into your sweater because "it smells like you, love!"

boyfriend!james who is very clingy in general, but less funny about it in private. when he's with the marauders, he's kissing your face all over mainly just to annoy his friends (and also because he loves you), but in private, he's pressing sweet, lingering kisses to your shoulder while you study or cook, randomly sliding his arms around your waist from behind, etc.

boyfriend!james who gives the best hugs. like the kind that somehow make you cry. and he doesn't mean to do it, but it happens to everybody. he'll be hugging you briefly before walking off somewhere and his friends are all like "you were close to crying, right? isn't that the weirdest thing?"

boyfriend!james who is not subtle on showing you off during the first few weeks (as long as you're comfortable with it). what's he doing? "oh, just spending time with my girlfriend." what are you doing after class? "probably spending time with my beautiful, lovely, spectacular girlfriend." everyone kind of hates him after he tones it down.

boyfriend!james who is an easy crier when it comes to the dumbest things. idk if you all have watched/heard of Brooklyn 99, but there's a scene where there's a couple on the couch and it basically goes like this:

guy (choked up): "it's just so beautiful how much they love each other"

girl: "it's a commercial. for a refrigerator."

he's crying at the stupidest things for no reason 😭

boyfriend!james who can be very emotional and an overthinker when it comes to serious things. he may not be crying hysterically, but he does get really into his head. I don't think he has abandonment issues like Regulus and the rest of the Marauders probably do, because from what I know, he's on good terms with his parents, but it's more just thinking "Oh my god they hate me so much what the fuck is wrong with me why am I even here I don't deserve any of this" after a fight.

boyfriend!james who's main love languages are acts of service and giving gifts. you got a great grade on an assignment? a bag of your favorite sweets from Hogsmeade. it's been a month and a half of dating? he's giving you a little vial filled with either sand or dirt from where your first date was. shoes untied? don't bother, love, he'll do it. shoulders hurt? don't even ask, you're getting a massage.

boyfriend!james who sometimes pranks you in his animagus form. you two will be napping one moment and when you wake up, he's lightly nudging you with his antlers.

boyfriend!james who loves you endlessly and will make sure the entire world knows <3

[sanguineterrain]

I think I saw you're on s1 of criminal minds soooo baby sweetheart Spencer 🥰 (u are in for a ride with his plotlines!) If ur writing requests maybe reader and Spencer going on a date? And maybe they're both kinda shy 🤭

short one! hope u like 🩷 gn!reader. first date w/ spencer. he's so baby sweetheart 💕

****

"Was this a bad choice?" Spencer whispers in your ear, barely audible.

You turn away from a Pissarro, eyebrows lifting in surprise. "The painting?"

"No, uh—" Spencer casts a sidelong glance at the painting. "I don't think I'd have the authority to criticize even if I did mean the painting. Besides, Pissarro's work is beautiful."

You're beautiful, you want to say.

Somehow, you're still nervous around Spencer. Maybe it's normal considering this is your first date. You'd hoped to have gotten over it by now.

He's just so... unreal.

"I think if anyone had the authority, it'd be you. French artists must've popped up at some point during your research."

"More than you'd expect, actually. We had a case a while back where the killer used blood and turpentine to—" Spencer stops, shakes his head. "No. Sorry. That's not appropriate date talk."

You laugh. "I don't mind, Spencer. I know you work for the FBI. It's interesting to hear you talk."

He frowns, that adorable crease in the middle of his forehead resurfacing. You want to kiss it.

"No, I meant coming here," he says. "Was it a mistake? I did some research before I asked you out, and they said that it's important to get to know the person on the first date by talking. But we haven't been talking. But then I know you enjoy museums. And you like silence sometimes because being outside can be overwhelming. So that's why I chose here. Not because I don't want to talk to you. I do, I just—"

"I'm sorry to interrupt," you say. "But that's probably the most considerate decision anyone's ever made for me."

"Oh." Spencer tilts his head. "I mean, I don't know how else to go about it."

You know. That's why you like him so much. That's why you're so nervous.

"Do you want to talk?" you ask. "We can go to the cafe and talk."

Spencer sighs. "I don't know. There's a lot of rules to dating, according to the Internet. And Morgan."

"I like looking at paintings with you, even if we don't talk. I'd like doing pretty much anything with you, Spencer."

He ducks his head, scratches his neck. "Really?"

His shyness makes you shy. You bite the inside of your cheek. "Uh-huh."

"I'm overthinking this, aren't I? Hotch tells me that I think myself out of a good thing."

You shrug. "Well, you won't here. I overthink stuff too. It's okay."

Spencer nods and tucks a wayward strand of hair behind his ear. "So you're enjoying this?"

"Yeah. Are you?"

"I am."

And then, jerky and a little awkward, Spencer takes your hand. You hang there for a moment, fingers just barely linked. Then you adjust your grip so you're properly holding hands.

"If my hand gets sweaty, you can let go. I don't mind," Spencer says.

"My hands get sweaty too. I don't care."

He squeezes your hand. "Okay."

You return to the Pissarro. You'd may as well be looking at concrete, though. The only view you'd spend hours on is Spencer Reid.

[graci3sb0w]

Think i really want this...

Gracie Abrams x Female Reader risk by gracie abrams

Summary : Gracie has a crush on u, and she's going crazy.

Warnings : wet dream kinda, gracies pov, stupid?

note : this is kind of a parallel to "You came out of the blue like that.."

she didn't know when it started.

Maybe it was the first time you laughed at something dumb she said, like really laughed, head thrown back, eyes crinkling. Or maybe it was when you texted her at 2 AM, just a simple “you up?”, and ended up talking until sunrise about everything and nothing.

Or maybe it was earlier than that—maybe she was doomed from the start.

Because here she is, staring at her phone, your name sitting at the top of her notifications, heart pounding. Like an idiot.

Like a crush.

she bites her lip, willing herself to be normal about this. To not overthink.

But she can’t.

Because it’s you.

And she thinks she might be in trouble.

she tells herself it’s casual. That she's not doing anything out of the ordinary.

But then she's picking her outfit with too much effort, fixing her hair twice, reapplying lip balm even though you’re not even here yet.

And when you finally show up, she swears, she forgets how to act.

"Hey," you say, stepping inside, the smell of your perfume hitting her immediately.

"Hey," she echo, and then—she just stands there.

Because what the hell is she supposed to do with her hands? Why is she so aware of her own breathing?

And why do you have to look so good doing the absolute bare minimum?

You glance at her, head tilted. "You okay?"

No.

"Yeah."

You hum in amusement like you don’t quite believe her, but you let it slide.

Thank God

they end up on her bed, sprawled out, just talking.

And it’s so normal.

Except it isn’t. Not for Gracie.

Because every time you move, every time your fingers absentmindedly trace patterns into her blanket, every time you push your hair out of your face—she notices.

she really notices.

And then you do this thing, where you turn your head to look at her mid-sentence, your lips slightly parted like you’re about to say something, and it’s so—stupidly attractive that she physically has to look away.

Because if she didn't, she might do something reckless.

Like kiss you.

Or confess everything.

Or, worst of all—fuck it all up.

It’s late when you finally leave, and she should be asleep by now.

But she's not.

she's lying in bed, staring at her ceiling, overthinking every moment. Every glance. Every smile.

she tells herself this is stupid. That she doesn't even know if you’d ever feel the same.

That she shouldn’t feel this way.

But she does.

And that scares the shit out of her.

Because she thinks—I think I really want this.

And I think I’d risk drowning for you.

The pen shakes in her hand.

she hates this.

she hates having feelings she shouldn't have, that they’re eating her alive, that no matter how hard she tries to ignore them, they just—stay.

So she does the only think she can do.

you can just talk and ill stare at ur mouth

The words bleed into the page, ink smudging slightly under her fingertips.

she doesnt cross it out.

Because it’s true.

she bites her lip, tapping the pen against her journal as she tries to breathe through the ache in her chest.

I wake up in the middle of the night, with the light on and i feel like i could die..

In my head, you're in the car, and you're comin' to me

And you get to my door, and you can't even speak

But I think that it's sweet, yeah, I think that you're sweet...

if you're the risk i'm gonna take it

she hates

hates that shes writing about you like you’re some love story she can’t stop herself from living. That she feels sick when she doesn't talk to you. That she can’t look at you without her heart betraying her.

That you’re probably clueless.

she drops the pen with a quiet thud and press her forehead to the paper, sighing.

And then—

Her phone rings.

She jumps.

Her heart practically leaps out of her chest, her body jerking so violently that the journal slips off of her lap and onto the floor.

The name on the screen makes her stomach flip.

It’s you.

She swears under my breath, fumbling for her phone, her fingers barely working as she presses answer.

“H-Hey.”

"You okay?" Your voice is soft, a little amused. Like you know.

She swallows. "Yeah, I just—uh—"

What does she say? Sorry, I was just pouring my entire soul onto paper about you?

You laugh, and it’s the sweetest fucking sound.

“Did I scare you?”

Yes. But not in the way you think.

She forces a breath. "No. I was just—"

She glances at the journal on the floor, the pages still open, her feelings spilled out for no one but herself to see.

"Just thinking."

You hum. "Good things, I hope."

She closes her eyes.

You have no idea.

The room is dark, quiet except for the faint hum of the AC. Gracie's limbs are tangled in the sheets, her skin flushed and damp, and her breath—God, her breath is ragged, uneven, like she just ran a marathon in her sleep.

Because of you.

It started slow, hazy, like the warmth of a summer night creeping in through an open window.

You were there—of course, you were. Sitting close, too close, your body pressed against mine in that effortless way that made my breath hitch, that made something coil tight in my stomach.

We were talking. About what? I don’t even know. Your voice was soft, teasing, just a little playful, like you knew what you were doing to me. Like you wanted to push me just far enough that I’d snap.

And then your fingers brushed over my thigh.

It was innocent—at first. A touch so light, so fleeting, it could’ve meant nothing. But it didn’t. It meant everything.

Because then you did it again.

And this time, you didn’t pull away.

I remember looking at you, my heart slamming against my ribs, my breath uneven, and you—God, you just smiled. Like this was a game you’d already won.

Then you leaned in, slow, deliberate, letting me feel your breath against my skin before your lips met mine.

I swear I could taste you. Could feel the way you kissed me—soft at first, like you were savoring it, like you wanted to memorize every second before it turned into something hungrier.

And it did.

Your hands tangled in my hair, fingers tugging just enough to make me gasp against your mouth. My hands were on your waist, your skin warm under my fingertips as I pulled you closer, needing more, more, more.

Somehow, we ended up tangled in the sheets, our bodies pressed together, heat radiating between us. Your lips ghosted over my jaw, my neck, lower—

I shivered.

It felt so real. The way you whispered my name, the way your touch burned into me, the way I melted for you, like I had been waiting for this all my life.

Like I needed you.

And just as you were about to—

She woke up.

Panting. Flushed. Aching.

She sits up, pressing a hand to her chest, her pulse hammering against her ribs. The dream still lingers in her mind, you still linger—your touch, your voice, the way you looked at her like you knew.

Like you wanted her just as badly as she wanted you.

Gracie squeezes her eyes shut, swallowing hard, but it doesn’t help. She could still feel it—your hands, your lips, the way her own name sounded from your mouth, the way you touched her like you were meant to. Like this wasn’t something she had to keep locked away, scribbled in the pages of the damn journal.

She exhaled sharply, dragging a hand through her hair, willing her body to calm the hell down.

But then—her phone buzzes.

She freezes.

Her heart lurches in her chest as she reached for it, hands still slightly shaking. And when she see your name on the screen—

I swear the universe is playing some cruel joke on me.

She hesitates for a second before picking up.

"Hey," she whisper, voice still hoarse, like she had just woke up from a dream she shouldn’t have had.

"Did I wake you?" Your voice is gentle, like you’re worried, and fuck, she hates how easily you get to her.

"No," she lies, running a hand over her face. "You okay?"

There’s a small pause. "I just couldn't sleep."

Neither can Gracie. Not when her body still burns from the dream.

"Want me to stay on the phone with you?"

You let out a small breath. "Yeah. Please."

So she does.

And tries not to think about the fact that just minutes ago, she woke up panting your name.

It was late. That kind of late where the world felt softer, quieter, like the universe had paused just long enough for Gracie to sit in this moment with you. They were on your couch, a movie playing on the screen, but neither of them was really watching. You were half-asleep, your head resting against the cushions, your fingers lazily scrolling through your phone.

And gracie? She was looking at you.

Not in the way friends do. Not in the way she was supposed to.

(pathetic)

Her heart was doing that stupid thing again—beating too fast, too uneven, too obvious. She swallowed hard, forcing her gaze away, trying to focus on anything but the way the dim light cast shadows on your face, the way your lips parted slightly as you yawned, the way she wanted—needed—to reach out and touch you.

She was so, so screwed.

You glanced at her then, eyes half-lidded, a small, sleepy smile pulling at your lips. “You okay?”

exhaling sharply, she nodded. “Yeah.”

lie.

Silence stretched between them, comfortable, but her chest felt tight. It had been building for weeks, maybe months—maybe since the second she met you. And now, sitting here, with the weight of it pressing against her ribs, Gracie felt like she was drowning in everything she couldn’t say.

too soon to tell you i love you

too soon to tell you i love you

too soon to tell you i love you

But she was tired. So damn tired of holding it in.

So she said it. Stupidly. Carelessly.

"I love you."

The words slipped out before Gracie could stop them, quiet, but there. Hanging in the air between them, irreversible.

Your phone stilled in your hands. Your brows knit together, like you weren’t sure you heard het right.

"What?"

She licked my lips, her stomach flipping violently, but she was already in too deep. Her laugh came out shaky, almost breathless. "I mean… it’s too soon, right?" Gracies fingers picked at the hem of her hoodie, her pulse hammering in her own ears. "Too soon to tell you I love you-." She tries covering it up like she was referencing something, letting out a humorless chuckle, but failing miserably.

You didn’t say anything.

Didn’t move. Didn’t blink.

Just stared at her.

And that was somehow worse.

Panic crawled up Gracie's throat. She wanted to backtrack, to laugh it off, to pretend like she hadn’t just ruined everything—but she couldn’t. She meant it. Every word.

Finally, you spoke. Voice barely above a whisper. "Gracie."

She swallowed hard, suddenly regretting every decision she had ever made.

But then—then—you moved.

Shifted closer, your fingers hesitating before reaching for hers, lacing them together. Your grip was warm, steady, grounding.

And when you spoke again, your voice was soft.

"What if it’s not too soon?"

[latin5mamii]

Angel - Jude Bellingham

|WARNINGS: nsfw (not too much you'll have to wait😉) Previous part |SUMMARY:How could you know that a stupid nickname could change everything? |AUTHOR'S NOTE: Long chapter (I know you love me😌) enjoy!

“Girl he’s literally the love of your life, what’s wrong?”

YES, maybe you were overthinking on Jobe's warning. You know that he, being your best friend forever, has always been protective of you. If there had been something wrong he would have told you right away, right?

The first thing you did after Jude left was call your best friend, who was sure to attack you in any way possible. So now you find yourself talking about it with her, and she thinks you're stupid, obviously, but maybe you too start to think that you're a little paranoid.

“You're right, maybe? I don't know what to think either and I'm not even sure I realized what happened."

That kiss, God, couldn't get out of your head. You'd probably been waiting for this moment since middle school, yet you managed to ruin it from your thoughts. You try to practice one of the therapies to banish bad thoughts but it obviously doesn't work.

“Y/N, let me be honest with you: just trust Jude, you know your bond is very strong and I think he wouldn't have kissed you if he didn't want to”

But that's not what you meant, unfortunately. It's obvious that if he hadn't wanted to kiss you he wouldn't have even stayed at your house to sleep, because let's face it, you both knew what would happen. What if he didn't have to leave? You know very well what would happen after that kiss. You didn't even want to confront Jude because you didn't want him to think that you don't trust him. He said he would write to you as soon as possible. Maybe you have nothing left but to trust him. Ok that you study psychology , but not everyone is definitely crazy or plotting behind your back. And anyway you had other things to think about: You probably didn't forget that he invited you to one of his games, right?

"He also invited me to one of his matches, the one in two weeks, I think"

You can hear your friend gasp in amazement, you can hear an envious but playful tone in her voice.

"Are you fucking serious? Lucky you!"

The day continued in a calm, but boring way. You were waiting for a message from him, that's the truth.

 You even thought about sending him a message, but would you seriously have done it? So you tried to distract yourself: reading, studying , trying to do anything not to think about him, about that kiss and the way he could make you feel butterflies in your stomach at any moment. 

(Seriously, could you stop thinking about him for just one minute? It’s like he’s the only thing on your mind. Oh wait, he probably is.)

The moment you finally stopped thinking about it (Or at least you think) your phone buzzed, and you, as if you've been waiting for years, take it right away, and when you read Jude's name on the screen, you can't help but smile and your heart skips a beat.

Jude: Hey Angel, hope your day was as good as mine. I can't stop thinking about you. Lunch was a drag without you.

You couldn't help but smile as you typed back.

You: Hey, lunch was boring here too. I missed you.

(You missed him? It’s only been a few hours. But hey, who am I to judge?)

A few moments later, your phone buzzed again.

Jude: Let’s make up for it then. Are you free tonight?

Your heart raced at the thought of seeing him again so soon.

You: Definitely. What do you have in mind?

Jude: How about we take a trip to the lake? We can have a picnic and watch the sunset.

You:You always know how to make me smile, what time?

Okay, maybe this message was a bit stupid, but as soon as he replies, you can see that this message was appreciated.

Jude:Built for this, ain’t I? I’ll come pick you up at 6?

You: I can’t wait

Jude:See you soon then, Angel.

You spent the next few hours getting ready, packing a small bag with everything you might need for the lake. The excitement built with each passing minute, your heart racing at the thought of spending the evening with Jude.

As the clock neared 6, you were ready and waiting. Jude arrived right on time, his eyes lighting up as he saw you.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said, pulling you into a warm embrace. 

"Beautiful?" You say with a slightly embarrassed tone as you rest your head on his chest.

"I can't deny it" An embarrassed smile appears on your face.

The car ride was pretty quiet, but also stressful because of all those awkward silences that happened because of what happened earlier at your house.

When you got to the lake, you settled on a towel and he started staring at you again, not that you didn't like it.

Jude’s eyes lit up with mischief. “Ready for a swim?” he asked, his voice dripping with playfulness.

“Absolutely,” you replied, slipping off your shoes and heading towards the water. Jude followed close behind, his gaze never leaving you.

Once in the lake, you splashed him playfully, laughing as he blinked in surprise. “Oh, it’s on now,” he said, closing the distance between you with a few swift strokes.

Before you could react, he scooped you up, water dripping from both of you. “Put me down!” you protested, giggling.

“Not a chance,” he replied, his voice low and teasing. He twirled you around before gently setting you back in the water, his hands lingering on your waist.

“Alright, alright, you win,” you said, breathless from laughter.

He grinned, his eyes locking onto yours. “I always do.”

His fingers lightly tracing patterns on your skin under the water, sending shivers up your spine.

“Jude…” you began, but his name on your lips seemed to ignite something in him. His gaze darkened with desire as he moved even closer, his breath hot against your neck.

“You’re driving me crazy, you know that?” he murmured, his lips brushing against your ear.

Before you could respond, his lips were on yours. The kiss was searing, his hands gripping your waist tightly as if he never wanted to let go. You responded eagerly, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pulled him closer.

The water lapped around you as the kiss deepened, growing more passionate by the second. Jude’s hands roamed over your back, pulling you against him as if he couldn’t get enough. You felt his heart pounding against your chest, matching the frantic beat of your own.

You broke the kiss for a brief moment, gasping for air. But the second you met his eyes, filled with an intensity that took your breath away, you were drawn back together. His hands moved to your hips, lifting you slightly as you wrapped your legs around his waist, anchoring yourself to him.

"We gotta pick up where we left off this morning, yeah?" he groaned against your lips, his voice rough with need.

You nodded quickly and in an instant his lips were on your neck, leaving significant marks. You let a soft moan from your lips and you know that this is driving him even more crazy. His lips are now on your lips again, in a kiss with hunger. You have been waiting for this moment for a long time, and it has finally arrived.

The feel of his skin against yours, the taste of his lips, the way he made you feel like you were the only person in the universe,it was intoxicating.

Jude’s hands moved up and down your body, exploring every curve, every inch of you, as if he couldn’t get enough. You matched his intensity, your own hands tangling in his hair, pulling him even closer.

After what felt like both an eternity and no time at all, you finally pulled back, both of you breathless and flushed. Jude rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed as he tried to catch his breath.

You both stayed there for a moment, just holding each other, the water gently rocking you. When you finally made your way back to the towel, he started talking to you.

"My mom... she’s been asking about you. She wants you to come to dinner tomorrow night. She misses you,a lot."

Your heart warmed at the thought. Jude's family had always been like a second family to you, and the invitation really warmed your heart, "I'd love to come," you replied, smiling.

“She’ll be happy to hear that”

He said, caressing your cheek. “Anyway, there's one more thing I wanted to ask you.” A sense of anxiety made you laugh nervously. He looked slightly more serious.

"I have to go back to Madrid the day after tomorrow," After a short pause, he continues, "And I was wondering, if maybe you wanted to come with me."

Now you are sure of the fact that most likely, at this request, your eyes widened and perhaps, your heart might have missed more than a beat. Did it mean that you would sleep together every night? Did it mean that perhaps you were his girlfriend? A question now kept bombarding your head: What are you two?

A couple? Best friends who have gone too far? You don't know how long you've been staring at him without giving him a response, but just the thought of actually staring at him shocked embarrasses you so much that it makes you want to disappear.

"I mean, I want to" You are still slightly shocked by the proposal and can't form a sensible sentence.

Jude starts chuckling at your form of communication.

"You want to? Okay, that's a good start"

"But I'll let you know tomorrow for sure, okay?"

"It's more than okay, angel"

After spending a little more time at the lake, enjoying the sunset and each other’s company, you and Jude eventually packed up and headed back to his car. The drive back was filled with comfortable silence and soft music, your hand resting in his, little stolen glances that made you giggle, is this what it feels like when you're in love?When you reached your house, Jude walked you to your door, his arm draped around your shoulders. As you turned to face him, he leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“Goodnight, beautiful,” he whispered, his eyes twinkling under the porch light.

“Goodnight, Jude,” you replied softly, your heart full as you watched him walk back to his car.

A smile played on your lips and you couldn’t be more excited for what was about to come. You giggled all the way to your apartment and as soon as you got in you flopped onto the bed, stomping your feet excitedly. How can I blame you? You've been waiting for this your whole life.

[morlock-holmes]

Have you seen the recent PhilosophyTube video on Nietzche? If so, what's your opinion as someone who's read him?

I'm not an expert in Nietzche, who wrote a lot of stuff, but I have fairly recently read the Walter Kaufmann translations of The Geneology of Morals and Ecce Homo, and less recently Beyond Good and Evil.

But I hadn't seen that video... Listening to it while grocery shopping...

It's a shocking bit of philosophical malpractice and intellectual dishonesty so breath-taking that I hardly know where to start.

Unfortunately I left the copy of Genealogy of Morals/Ecce Homo that I've been reading in my work locker, but, like, okay, in order to build her picture of Nietzche she has to assert that his overt dislike of the Jews is central to his philosophy, but that his overt dislike of Anti-Semites is some kind of incidental grudge that he didn't actually mean.

But if we are going to do that, if we are going to dismiss much of what he says in his published work, then why not do the opposite? Why not assert that his anti Jewish rhetoric is the incidental expression of petty grudges while the anti-Anti-Semite rhetoric is central to his philosophy?

Once we start building an approach to Nietzche that assumes that enormous chunks of his published work can simply be ignored as incidental to his philosophy, then, like, what the fuck are we doing here?

One immediate thing you have to deal with pretty immediately when looking at Nietzche is, "Why does a German who hurled some brickbats at the Jews hurl even MORE brickbats at Reichsdeutsche and Anti-Semites?"

Like, I cannot emphasize enough how much time he spends attacking the German character in Beyond Good and Evil and The Genealogy of Morals. Way, way WAY more than he spends attacking Jews.

The idea that Elizabeth Forster-Nietzche is somehow responsible for the belief that Nietzche said anti-Jewish things is flat out insane.

Like, he says anti-Jewish stuff in writings that he published himself.

And so when someone sort of tries to rebut that idea I get this kind of suspicion that what they are actually going to do is claim that anti-Jewish stuff is more central to his works than people think, and that conversely the anti-Anti-Semite and anti-Reichsdeutsche rhetoric is less central.

I am kind of struggling to explain why I find that suspect. I think people have sort of said, "He can't have actually meant everything he said about Jews, Germans and Anti-Semites, so we need to figure out which parts he actually meant and which are just kind of in there for no reason" and in my opinion if you read what he actually put in his books (Assuming, of course, that the translations I've read are accurate) this is not necessary, and if you think it is necessary, I feel you haven't been paying attention.

I have no idea if Nietzche considered "the Jewish question", I certainly do not have an encyclopedic knowledge of his letters and personal notes; I will say I cannot bring to mind anything in Beyond Good and Evil or The Geneology of Morals which touches on it. He is deeply skeptical as to whether the Germans can produce greatness.

It's true that he is not an egalitarian, he does not believe people are equal, and for that reason he believes that Democracies and egalitarian societies in general cannot function, that part is actually true as stated.

He's also deeply sexist in the most boring way imaginable. Like, the funny thing is that people keep writing these take-downs about him that try to reveal his reactionary roots gloss over this? Like, what's the first thing you'd imagine a sexist man from the 1870s would say? Like, and do not overthink it, just, like, imagine what a hack writer would put in the mouth of a sexist character in a mediocre adventure novel for 12 year old girls. Because Nietzche probably says it in Beyond Good and Evil.

The idea that he is pro-Eugenics is, okay, first of all actually listen to the quote she uses and you'll find that it doesn't actually say what she says it does. The idea that every thought is based on the nature of the organism that produces it is merely materialism. And I really want to know what she means by "eugenics" because Nietzche overtly and explicitly thinks Darwin is wrong.

I admit that this doesn't recommend him as a scientist but this is a man who says, I believe in Ecce Homo, that anybody who thinks that the Ubermensch is some kind of more evolved human in a darwinian sense hasn't been paying attention. Like he just explicitly says the idea is ludicrous and incorrect.

The description of master vs. slave morality is not exactly wrong, but is incomplete, and the criticism that it isn't historically accurate is kind of... it's not wrong so much as, off? Like, imagine I'm talking about "High Control Groups" and I assert that "High Control Groups will often exercise extreme control over their adherents relationships, discouraging relationships with outsiders"

Would you be like, "Wait, which group is he talking about? When in history did that happen?"

Like, I'm describing a type, not writing history.

So, to go way back Nietzche is extremely concerned with the question of why we value certain things. Master Morality and Slave Morality are two contrasting sets of values.

He says he hit on the idea from linguistic studies.

So, what does "Noble" mean? Well, according to Googles dictionary it means, "having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral principles and ideals".

But of course it also means, "belonging to a hereditary class with high social or political status; aristocratic."

Okay, and what's a Villain? Well, a bad guy, someone who does bad things. Etymologically, it also comes directly from the word "Villein" which in medieval times referred to a kind of serf.

Nietzche claimed that in all the languages he studied this same division took place, that words which referred to the upper classes that ran society began to become synonymous with "good" and words which referred to the lower classes began to become synonymous with "bad".

So, Master morality, Nietzche believes, essentially comes from the characteristics of the upper classes, especially those with military power. Essentially, because these people have power they begin to think of what they do as "Good". Behaving in the way a member of the noble classes should behave is "Good"; "Bad" is the failure to behave as a noble should.

So, for example, to most Greeks hearing the Illiad, the Trojans and the Greeks were both "Good" in this sense. The fact that they made war on each other doesn't change that, because the nobility on both sides acted in the ways nobility ought to act.

So, a positive conception of "Good" comes first, and "Bad" is essentially what is in contrast to "Good" what happens when you have failed to be "Good".

Slave morality also descends from social position. The lower classes (Including literal slaves) sort of come at morality backwards. They start with a conception not of "Good" but of "Evil".

"Evil" is that which is done to us against our will by those classes that tower above us. If you are a king, and I am a king, and you raise an army against me, well, I just raise an army right back, and even though we contend, we contend as equals.

If you are the king and I am a slave, you can just, like, beat me and there's not a lot I can do.

So I call that beating "Evil" and then I imagine what the opposite would be and call that good. The upper classes are assertive, so I say that this is evil and that meekness is good. The upper classes are rich, so I make a virtue of poverty (This is somewhat of an oversimplification).

"Evil" comes first, and "Good" is understood as "Whatever the opposite of Evil is".

The thing is, what Nietzche is most concerned and critical about here is not weakness. What concerns him more is that, in his mind, slave morality promotes ressentiment and vengefulness.

Like, Christian morality promotes meekness, poverty, and humility.

But it simultaneously promises that all of that will go away in Heaven. If you are poor now, you will be rich in Heaven; if you are humble now, in Heaven you will be elevated above all others who will have to writhe in hell. In the afterlife, rather than peace, the people you hate now will be subjected to infinite violence.

One of the things that Nietzche seems to admire in Master Morality is the absence of grudges. If someone wrongs you, or slights you, you fight back, and the fact that you are able to exert yourself against them means that you don't need to hold a grudge, you contend with things in the moment, and that having been done it is not necessary to hold a grudge.

Now, to me, if Nietzche is a man who is mostly hostile to systems of morality that are extremely moralizing on the surface but whose actual primary drives are grudges, ressentiment and fantasies of infinite vengeance, then... like... German Anti-Semitism qualifies just like he says it does, yeah? We don't need to reach for something outside his writings to explain why he criticizes it, he has given us perfectly plausible reasons within his own writing.

And so if you feel the need to dismiss those perfectly comprehensible reasons he gives, and reach for something else... I don't know, it makes me very suspicious that you haven't been paying close attention to what he actually published.

That was an enormous ramble and it still doesn't really encapsulate all of my issues with that video.

[one-piece-aus]

Whumptober Day 24

Paulie x Reader

"[Y/N]! THAT DRESS IS WAY TOO SHORT! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!"

"Calm down, Paulie." You roll your eyes and adjust your hold on your clipboard. "It's right at my knees, no big deal."

"Of course it's a big deal! This is a work zone and you're distracting the men here!" Paulie scolded with flustered red colouring his face.

Ah, such is the life of a lady working in Dock 1. You were part of the inventory keepers, noting when supplies arrived and where they'd go. Paulie the shipwright gambler, kept getting flustered over every little thing about your appearance when you two ran into each other during the same shift. At first, it bothered you, and if it weren't for Paulie seeming to be one of Iceburg's favourites, you would've tried drowning him. Then, someway, somehow, he grew on you.

"Oh please, I won't be distracting anyone." You wave your pen around dismissively. "Besides I even got bending down covered, I'm wearing shorts underneath, see."

You tease him and lift the hem of your dress to show him your black shorts. Paulie's nose exploded blood out, steam flying from his face. Giggling, you drop your dress' hem back down.

"I think you broke him, [Y/n]," Kaku commented, walking up to you.

"He'll be fine. Whatcha need?" You turn to your other co-worker.

"New shipment came from the West Blue," Kaku informed you, leaning closer to add, "Devil Water Pose."

Devil Water Pose... Devil Wanted Poster...

Looks like another assignment has been added, which means your time at Water 7 is closing. Who knew Nico Robin would come here...

"Got it." You nod, keeping your smile. Kaku tips his hat and leaves to help other workers.

"What was that about?" Paulie asked, lighting up a cigar and raising a brow at you.

"Oh, Kaku just let me know about some supplies that just came in. I should go mark that." You spin away, finding it hard to face Paulie.

Paulie stares at your back, mildly puzzled. Something felt off, you don't leave in a hurry like that, especially in high heels. Maybe he's just overthinking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sigh, sitting at the bridge near Galley-La, clipboard in hand. Clicking the pen several times, trying to brush away writer's block, you stare at the paper underneath all the pages you stuff into the clip. If only you had more time to write this.

"What got you all bummed out?"

"Ah!" You flipped the papers down to hide the final page. Looking up, you see him. "Paulie, you scared me."

"Sorry," he apologized and leaned back against the railing of the bridge. "You gonna tell me what you were writing?"

"A love letter for you," you tease.

"Don't joke about that!"

You giggled, amused by his flustered state, until you looked back at the clipboard. Your mood goes back down. "I... I am writing a letter, I'm just not sure how to write it."

"Who's it for?" Paulie inquired, puffing out some smoke.

"...Someone I care about, I won't be able to see them for much longer."

"How come?"

"Work reasons," you answered, keeping it vague.

"Shame."

"Yup..." You stare at the water canal, biting back your tongue.

"Why don't you take the day off tomorrow to spend time with them?" Paulie asks.

"He'll be busy."

Paulie grumbles beside you. "What a chump, leaving soon and not bothering to spend time with you."

You giggle at the irony. "I don't blame him, Paulie. It's just how things are." You hear the man huff beside you before you continue. "Besides, he probably doesn't realize I care about him... I... I've been a little distant, you know."

"Shouldn't matter if you've been distant, it matters if he cares about you. Otherwise, you're just wasting your time." Paulie put out his cigar. You hum, acknowledging his words, even if your dilemma is different. A hand rests on your shoulder, you glance at Paulie. "If means anything, all of us at Galley-La care about you, [Y/n]."

"Thank you, Paulie." You wrap your arms around him, catching Paulie off guard. If things were different, maybe you would've given more than a hug. "Thank you for caring about me."

Paulie halts his emotions, sensing there's more to your story than you're telling him. He returns the hug, not understanding why it feels like you're saying goodbye.

And he won't know, until he reads your letter after you're gone.

Tags: @bookandyarndragon @roseoftrafalgar

[blueberri-blu]

Hi Blue! It’s me again coming at you with another request!

This time around, I want it to be a ROTTMNT Leo x Reader. It takes place at the end of season two (and before the movie) and it has Leo trying to confess his love to the reader. He’s bad at it, but god bless him he’s trying his best.

And use writing prompt 1 in it. Thank you and have a nice day!

Hiiiii! Of course!,

Losing It ෆ๑

[rise] Leo x gn!reader

Prompt # 1: "I didn't think you were the type to lose your head over a s/o" "Neither did I"

ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ

"Hey y/n!" "Yea Leo?" "How much does a Polar Bear weigh?" "Probably like 200lbs or more, but how much?" "Ugh, you're such a nerd" "gee thanks Leon" "aanyway, no, they weigh just enough to break the ice" "hm?" "Hi, I'm Leo, and you're cute" *wink* "oh! Haha, good one Leo!"

Leo internally groaned

No matter how many pick up lines he used, you just wouldn't get the hint

I mean, sure, he flirted with everyone, but come on! You were the only one he flirted with while blushing, didn't you notice the tremble in his voice? His Shakey hands? Nothing?

Ugh, he really didn't want to have to be direct with you...

He was already a blushing mess just shooting pick up lines your way

How would he be if he was vulnerable in front of you, expressing his feelings... He'd only embarrass himself!

ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ

A couple of hours later and after dinner

Donnie sat on the couch with Mikey, Raph was picking up dishes, and you and Leo were sat on the floor

You were "watching" the end credits of a Jupiter Jim movie

And by watching, I mean Donnie was on his phone, you were trying to finish your pizza, and Mikey and Leo were whispering about something

>> "why don't you talk to them!! They obviously believe you do this to everyone!!" "Well, Yea, but how am I even supposed to tell them? Oh, hey, I'm a giant ninja mutant turtle man, you wanna go out with me ?!" "They already know you're a mutant!, they obviously don't care" "alright, Mikey-" "this is Dr. Delicate Touch, telling you to suck it the fuck up and tell them! No one can stand your constant cheesy pick up lines anymore!!" ":c"<<

As you finished your pizza, all you saw was this:

You quirked an eyebrow at Leo, and he just looked away, pretending to find something interesting on the empty wall

Recently, he had been avoiding you... Except for the uptake in cheesy pick up lines

Originally you thought he was upset with you but then...

You started connecting the dots, and, stupidly, came to the conclusion that Leo liked someone

It explained his avoidance, and the cheesy pick up lines? Well he was obviously practicing for the person he liked

ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ

You and Leo had this strange dynamic for about a month before you finally couldn't take it.

It was around 1 am, but you just couldn't stand your constant overthinking of the situation.

So, you decided to march down to the lair, and corner Leo into talking

Thankfully, Leo was only with Mikey on the skate ramp

However, Mikey fled the scene once he saw you marching towards Leo with a face of determination and possibly nerves but that's not the point

Leo was confused, but then looked at you and immediately started sweating bullets

You seemed... Upset to say the least, and the way your eyes were locked on his form, it was he's fault

He started stuttering out apologies, for what? He didn't know, but you being mad at him was the last thing he wanted

It was only when you yelled "WHO ARE THEY" with tears in your eyes was he very confused

"wha- who??" "Your... Whoever is you like!" "What are you talking about haha- I don't like anybody!"

You thought he was nervous before, oh honey, he was now pale and confused

Were you really this upset at knowing he likes you???

"you know! You've been practicing your pick up lines on me! You aren't spending time with me anymore! The constant whisper telling with your brothers, followed by you blushing from your ears to your neck!"

And it clicked

You didn't know

You were upset... That he liked someone else!

"uhm... Uh... Y/n, look, I.. uh"

You were full on crying now

"I uh.. I don't like... Someone else"

"what do you mean!"

"I... I mean that I... I... Uhm"

"has anyone called god?"

"...what?"

"because he's missing an angel... Uh... You... Hehe”

He was so red, and through your blurred vision you could see he was shaking..

"are... Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"uhm.. I mean.. uh.. do you, do you wanna be my, my s/o? Maybe? If not thatstotallyoktheresnopressure"

"Leo... I... Of Course!"

It was the tightest hug you had ever given and recieved

He was twirling you around, happy tears falling down both of your cheeks .

Once you were both calmed down, you thought to yourself and then said

"I didn't think you were the type to lose your head over a s/o"

"Neither did I, mi amor, neither did I"

ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ๑ෆ

[creatingblackcharacters]

100% real genuine question:

Should relationships be different in fiction with Black characters? I have always heard to treat characters as people first and then whatever (race, sexuality, gender, disability, etc etc) second.

But reading that post about antiblackness in fandom one of the quotes said that the relationships were written as if they were white, which confused me.

Is it just saying that there were some moments that seemed inaccurate or racist because one of the characters was Black (like running fingers through hair, to name a minor one) or is there more?

Is it about how it reads to us because of the racist history irl?

I have several original stories containing Black characters and I've always tried to go out of my way to make them feel fully fleshed out and if I'm even slightly worried about one character feeling stereotypical, I try to fix it (and sometimes just add more characters that defy that stereotype. Like, one of my characters is a Black woman and as I developed her I decided she was a lesbian and leaned butch. After that I added feminine Black women, including lesbians, as well as nonBlack butches because I know the masculinization of Black people is a huge issue. Even though, this character is literally the only "masculine" Black woman, but not the first Black woman, I had written at the time, lol. )

I am probably overthinking and overexplaining. But now I am rethinking all of the relationships I have in my stories with Black characters in them. Diversity is really important to me and I hate to imagine myself contributing to racist views of Black characters...

(forgive me if I come across as a Whining White Woman™ I'm autistic so I genuinely want to know if I'm doing it wrong)

Well, if you haven't read my syllabus, I would highly suggest doing so! Because I could not possibly tell you everything you've potentially done based off of this ask 😅 but you might find some things that will help you narrow your scope in your own stories, and better your writing for the future.

When we say things like "they were written like a white person", it usually means that it's clear within the story that the character's Blackness, and therefore how they and their actions would be perceived both within and outside of the story, were not considered by the author. It's clear that the character was written to be white- which is what most people consider as the default- and then just made "Black" to fill in a box. I can tell when a character's Blackness matters to their identity, versus when I'm just reading a story with someone's blorbo with a bucket of brown paint.

Do you have Black readers? Black peers? Have you ever had any feedback about those characters- do you think perhaps asking a Black beta reader or sensitivity reader might assuage your concerns? You could always put up your fics on your page and ask directly! Be open to that feedback, though.

[faiell]

yapping about fics and commenting

sorry to yap but work is boring today and tumblr isn't blocked on my work computer LOL

ok it's abt that post where the writer friend stopped writing because they weren't getting the comments/kudos they wanted.

i'm like. an overeager fandom person. like i cannot get into a fandom without wanting to meet new people and make friends. i love yapping about whatever silly gay idiots i'm hyperfixating over. i'm all about community, and sharing the joy of fandom, and all that fun positive stuff.

i don't post my art for stats but like. that means nothing coming from me tbh. i get stats. i can't accurately predict what would happen if i stopped getting notes on my art, but i would probably keep drawing and keep posting, just maybe less confidently, and less often. i recognize that stats make it much easier and while it’s not my primary motivation, it definitely motivates me to keep posting.

and yet. for years, i never commented on fic. i think i left kudos? and i saw posts like this all the time about how writers were so sad they didn't get comments. and i would feel super guilty about it all the time. but i still wouldn't do it! it sounds stupid, but i would feel pressured. if i liked a fic a lot, it felt even more difficult to comment, because i thought i would have to somehow give back to the author everything that fic gave to me. i wanted to craft the perfect comment that could perfectly encapsulate everything a fic made me feel. and that was way too much pressure so i would just not say anything.

when i got into drarry, i started reading a shit ton of fic. and i still wouldn't comment. i left maybe... 2 or 3 comments, maybe, i think. i can't remember. but i had a lot to say and i WANTED the writers to hear that i had read it and liked it. i just... didn't comment! u know what i did instead? i just fucking straight up DM'd writers on discord and started gushing to them that i liked their fic. somehow i was confident enough to do that, but writing a comment still felt like too much pressure. ?? i don't understand it either, but in my head it felt like a writing assignment, but when I was in DMs it felt more like a conversation and so there wasn't any pressure to make it "good"? idk!! it's very weird.

then i wrote and posted my first complete fic. just a oneshot, nothing special, and i was like. UNREASONABLY nervous about posting it. like. i am a confident person, okay? i was going to make a burner AO3 account and post it under a different name so nobody would know it was me, and then never mention it to anyone except MAYBE super close friends. i got talked out of doing that (thanks i feel a bit silly about considering that now). and then i received my first comment on it, which was basically a two-liner where someone said they liked it and thanked me for writing it.

and i was like. ??...?????? ???????? ...??!!! because i felt like... uncontainable glee? i was freakishly happy. the amount of serotonin those two sentences gave me was definitely unnatural.

is that healthy? idk. will it continue? idk. LOL. i hope so? but idk, some people said it wears off if you write/post for a while. but whatever, the fact that one little comment like that could make my entire day blew my mind. tbh i thought writers were just exaggerating when they said stuff like that.

ever since then i started leaving comments! that shit's easy! like what was i overthinking for? i'm such a fucking tryhard! all i gotta say is that i liked it, and even the bare minimum can bring lots of joy to someone.

so basically what im trying to say is that negative reinforcement doesn't do shit!! it just makes people feel bad about themselves. that post is nasty for guilt-tripping readers like that, and i bet you it's going to have the opposite effect (or no effect tbh).

YAPPING FINISHED. for now.

[ordering-milk-at-a-bar]

Probably everything I write will be incorrect and inaccurate, but I am thinking of all possibilities and with someone who is very capable of experimenting with living beings (bad people, but living beings anyway), with the environment where she lived...who says she doesn't have a trick up her sleeve? or I'm just obsessed with this au and I like a woman who is in control, general control

In some way or another, I trust in Apothecary![Name]'s abilities, be it her intelligence or her art in plants

In her art with plants, she knows more than the entire chain put together, who says that one of her harmless plants that they let she keep doesn't have paralyzing properties if its boiled? or sleeping? and that she only knows this because of her desire to experiment? I don't see it as possible honestly, if the chain is smart of course, at least they will know how to try a tea that she makes first before drinking it.

Her intelligence? If she feels it is safer to stay close to the chain, will she try to use these feelings to her advantage? I feel like someone capable of manipulating plants knows a thing or two about manipulating people, a very basic version of psychology. Whether it's because she learned it or the beautiful women with which she lived surrounded told her one or two tricks, something to manipulate a man she can't believe she's actually using.

Or as I said, maybe I'm overthinking, Growing up in the sinful part of the place does not guarantee that you become insensitive to some things, nor that you think about what could benefit you the most by learning from other people's experiences that you have witnessed.

Bruh I think we have the same brain because how the hell did you bring up every thought I also had? Like. Even down to the use of paralyzing or sleep inducing medicine to get away.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕒𝕟𝕩𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @wabatle request: HELLO HELLO HERE I AM WITH ANOTHER OBEY ME REQUEST 😋😋😋🔥🔥🔥

anyways!! can I request Lucifer, Satan, Asmo, Belphie and Diavolo with a partner that has really bad social anxiety? like they have a hard time talking to people and freeze up when they have to talk to someone, and they tend to overthink things they say a lot (me overthinking while I write this 🤑🤑)

THANKS POOKIE LOVE YOU 😘😍

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ WELCOME BACK LOVE!!

Yes you can!!! Also I dunno if this is considered short or no buuuuuut I feel like it kinda is so I'm very sorry for that but I don't really like forcing so I just wrote whatever popped into my head 😔

Either way! I hope you like it!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ Lucifer would be rather patient with you...

✧ his 2nd younger brother is pretty social anxious too so he probably knows kinda what to do

✧ he'll try getting you out first with date ideas and so on, slowly getting you into going out more

✧ he'll do some talks but won't ever make you feel ignored, asking you about your opinion from time to time, even if it would be small nod

✧ he definitely likes taking pride in the fact that he's always the one who you ask to talk for you (even if you do it just because you have no other choice)

"Yes, we'll take two of these. Would that be correct, dearest? Or is there something more you'd like?"

✧ he's slowly getting you to talk more by gently pushing you to place your order by yourself and slowly goes onwards, trying to be patient with you

✧ if he won't see any results tho... he might get a bit pissed off, but he also knows it won't do anything...

✧ he might just need to think of something else... But how long will it take? Guess it only depends on you and how willing you'll be to cooperate!

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@wabatle - come get your scary brother!

✧ Satan most likely does slightly more research about it just to make sure he knows how to treat person struggling with that

✧ recognizing it in his brother, he'll probably also try asking him, but he doesn't get many information there in the end...

✧ he tries his best to help you but he's actually a bit forceful with pushing you towards talking more

✧ he's the type to not say a word when you finally come to counter at cafe, and when you look at him, he'll just look at you expectingly...

"C'mon. You can do it."

✧ even if you'd be stuttering, he's still gonna be proud of you!

✧ and don't worry if someone laughs or teases you about that... he'll most likely get pissed off for that quite easily and... you can figure out the rest...

✧ he'll sometimes ask you straightforward if you need any help from his side but he'll try not to spoil you by ALWAYS talking for you. You need to get some practice as well after all!

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@miya-akane @wabatle - come get your pretty princess~

✧ Asmo is literally like your opposite! Yet, you somehow landed in relationship together... How? Good question! But none of you really mind~

✧ though he does get a bit worried about you sometimes...

✧ he tried getting you out on many parties, trying to convince you it's gonna be fun and that he'll be by your side but... it ended differently...

✧ if you agreed, he definitely stayed with you but he also invited quite a large group to hangout with you as well...

✧ if you didn't, he's most likely to be a bit pouty for a little while... but he'll get over ut soon!

"C'mon, Y/N!! Just one party! I swear I won't even drink more than one glass, please! It'll be fun! We can even dance together there, hm~?"

✧ he usually just drags you with him wherever he goes hoping it'll work

✧ he's not really good with this, so you may want to be just honest with him and it'll certainly give him better understanding of how he should handle your anxiety!

✧ if you tell him what he was doing wrong, prepare for wave of apology kisses and even more promises he'll try better now that he knows more about your problem

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@vodka-glrl @wabatle - come get your cat lover!

✧ Belphie will support you but... don't expect him to push you towards going out more

✧ if anything, he may hold you back just because he's not done sleeping yet

✧ whenever you tell him you talked with someone on your own, he'll always praise you for that!

✧ though whenever you have little debate if you should go out or stay at home... he'll always tell you to stay at home and just take a nap with him which... doesn't really help your problem...

"Don't wanna go out? Yeah, me neither... Let's just take a nap."

✧ being with him would really require some motivation from you to overcome social anxiety...

✧ plus is he'll always leave the talking to you since he'll be too tired to do it himself, so whenever you drag him out, you'll get some practice in!

✧ if you're really too nervous tho... he'll drop few words every now and then to help you out

✧ and similar to Satan, don't worry about anyone laughing whenever you get nervous! He'll first drag you away but behind your back, he makes sure they learn their lesson...

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@miya-akane @wabatle - come get your sleepyhead~

✧ Diavolo is actually very understanding! But among all of that... he tends to spoil you by always doing the talking for you...

✧ if you ever feel like hopping in, he'll inmidietly shut up and let you speak tho!

✧ but don't expect him to slyly let you into a conversation... he'll be more than happy if you join on your own but he won't force you

✧ he'll also give you a little reward for every time you break your walls and open up to someone, even if you only said like one sentence

"Why of course! I want to treat you to cafe because of this very reason. I find it worthy to celebrate, don't you?"

✧ he probably will need you to tell him to push you sometime so you can break your walls more if you want him to get you to do that

✧ he'll still have a bit of trouble with forcing you but... he'll try his best! But he's teached to take first "no" so it may take a little while...

✧ either way, he'll shut up everyone who ever dares interrupt you. Not in a mean way... he's actually very polite but... he'll prioritize whatever you have to say over anyone else~

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@wabatle - come get your childish ruler!